#mick has a line of them on the back of his phone case

[michelle-is-writing]

Accident, Mick Mars

Word Count: 1.9k~

This was a call Mick never expected to get. This was something the guys never expected to hear from me, either. Quite frankly, I never thought I’d have to make the call telling them I got into an accident and now I’m in the hospital, but here I am.

“(Y/n), are you okay?!” Mick asks for the fifth time, fear filling his voice as he stays on the phone with me. “Please, tell me you’re okay,” he repeats, “I don’t give a shit about the car - are you okay?”

Nodding even though he can’t see me, I answer him, “Yes, I’m okay... well, as okay as I can be in an ER of all places,” I tell him, the nurse standing next to my bed injecting what’s likely pain medication through my IV as I get comfortable in my hospital bed. “They had to put stitches where my head hit the window, and I-I got a concussion and my shoulder really hurts from the seatbelt, but I’m okay, I promise.”

“I’m on my way,” he tells me, causing me to shake my head instantly. They just started recording their new album and I know they don’t have any time to waste on it either. If Nikki has to fight to get a few hours to go to a doctors appointments, then Mick probably won’t be able to leave to come here - especially since I’m pretty much fine and nothing is wrong with me.

“No, no, don’t come here. Please, honey,” I plead with him, the nurse giving me a strange look as she listens. “I know that finishing the album is really important to you guys, and I don’t want you guys to have to pause it just for me. So, please,” at this point, the nurse is pushing me to lay back down. In the middle of me trying to change Mick’s mind, I sat up, and now that I’m back against the pillows, I realize just how much my back hurts when I move. I sigh. “Just stay at the studio until you guys are allowed to leave. I’ll be okay, and it’ll take a while for them to discharge me. Okay?”

For a few moments, the other line stays quiet, and I find myself closing my eyes. I can’t decide if it’s the pain medicine kicking in, or if it’s me coming down from the adrenaline rush, but I’m really tired all of a sudden. Just as I feel myself slipping away into the darkness of sleep, Mick sighs and speaks up once more. “I’m on my way.”

As soon as I hear the other line click, I let out another sigh and put the phone down by my side. “Men,” the nurse mutters, taking the rooms phone and putting it back on the hook. “They never listen - no matter what you tell them.”

Still feeling tired, I shake my head. “So I see,” I mutter, the nurse smiling back at me.

“I’ll be honest, they’ll probably want to keep you overnight just in case,” she further informs me. “Usually, when head trauma is involved, they want to keep you for observation. You’re feeling okay now because of the morphine, but it won’t last forever.”

Nodding at her, I sigh once again. “Just what my husband needs,” I mutter, but the nurse only smiles again.

“It’s good that he’s coming - he should,” she tells me as she pulls the hospital blanket over me more. “But don’t worry about him, just get some rest. You need it,” at that, I nod my head, albeit a little hesitantly. I don’t want to be the reason Mick gets in trouble with their manager, nor do I want Mick to get in trouble at all.

Finally comfortable, I close my eyes and feel my body relax further into the bed just as the feeling of exhaustion consumes me. I have never felt this tired in my life, and there’s no fighting it either - it’s already won.

What feels like days pass before my eyes open again, and I’m greeted by the hospital ceiling I fell asleep to. The only difference now is the brightness of the lights and how bad it’s hurting my head. On top of that, my pain meds have worn off and everything I wasn’t feeling before is hitting me at full force.

With a small pained cry, I bring my hand up to cover my eyes as fast as I can to block the light. Following that, I hear the rustle of someone beside me before Mick’s concerned features fills in the gaps of my fingers. “Baby, are you okay?” He asks, worry filling his voice.

Despite the pain in my head, I move my hand away from my face to look at Mick leaning over me before reaching up to touch his face, happy tears filling my eyes. I may have told him that he didn’t have to come, but I’m so glad he’s here right now.

“Babe, are-you-okay?” He asks once again, sounding out every word out as he lifts his hand up to cup my hand currently on his cheek. “You’re crying, what’s wrong? Does something hurt?”

“No- well, yes, but that’s not why I’m crying,” I explain, giving a small laugh. “I’m just really happy to see you here, and I know I said don’t come, but I’m so glad you did,” at that, Mick gives me one of his rare smiles before leaning down and kissing my cheek.

“I’m going to go get the nurse so she can get you more meds, okay?” He tells me, before standing back up and heading out of the room. It is in this moment that I realize this has happened before, although Mick and I were in opposite roles.

He had just gotten out of surgery for his hip and I was the one stressing to make sure he was comfortable and not in pain. At first, he was in a lot of pain, and I tried my best to soothe him while they were getting the pain medication for him. With the anesthesia still in his system, he was trying so hard to get me in his hospital bed so I could hold him, but at that point, I couldn’t and I felt bad about it. I also had to be the one to corral the boys out of his room since they were bringing nothing but havoc into the hospital - it was nothing unusual though.

It isn’t too long before Mick’s back with the nurse and I’m getting more morphine put in my IV. Thankfully, it works quickly, and once again, Mick and I are left to each other.

“How long have you been here for?” I ask him, watching as he takes a seat in front of me on my bed.

“For a few hours,” he answers, making me sigh. I was asleep the whole time and he could’ve been at the studio until I woke up. “But I’m glad I left early. Your doctor told me what all happened from what the E-M-S worker told him,” well that’s good the doctor told him since I don’t remember a whole lot after the accident. Mostly, I remember being brought in through the ER doors and calling Mick as soon as I could.

“He said you were going in and out when you were in the ambulance since you hit your head pretty hard. Plus, you lost a little blood; that’s why you really needed to sleep,” with everything he says, I can hear every ounce of concern he had and still has for me. Although, at the moment, the worried face Mick has right now just kills me inside.

Looking away from Mick, I sink deeper into the bed than before. “I was going to the store to pick up something to make for dinner,” I explain, “I wasn’t too far from the house when it happened. My light turned green and I went, but before I knew it, I felt something hit the car and I felt my head hit the window,” closing my eyes, I feel myself start to tear up again. “I don’t know if they can fix the car since he hit me really hard and I am so sorry, Mick, I am so sorry.”

Mick wastes no time in moving up closer to me in bed, but unlike the time he was the one in the hospital bed, we’re able to lie in it together. “Baby, please do not blame yourself, okay? Because it wasn’t your fault, and I know that, everyone knows that,” he assures me, wrapping his arm around me to hold me close to him. Meanwhile, his other hand reaches up to wipe my tears away, his hand staying there afterward. “It was that guy’s fault, it was all him. He shouldn’t have gone on a red and almost…”

Mick drones off with his words, leaving me to open my eyes and look up at him. Now he’s the one with his eyes closed, his forehead pushing together like he’s in thought. Mick isn’t the easiest person to read, and it’s not always easy for him to show how he feels. Over the years, I’ve learned what each of his little movements mean. Right now, I feel like he’s almost distraught and he can’t make himself say what could’ve happened. The idea of something happening to me during the accident is what’s making Mick upset, and I wish he wouldn’t think that way.

“Mick, honey,” I murmur, running my hand across his hair. “Please look at me,” he doesn’t despite my request, making me lean forward a little lean to my head up toward his. “Please.”

Thankfully, Mick turns his head at me this time, and with red, cloudy eyes, Mick meets my gaze. “I’m okay,” I whisper, giving him a smile. “And I will be okay - okay? You shouldn’t be so upset, baby. I’m here.”

For a second, Mick pauses before speaking, his voice quieter than before. “I could’ve lost you,” he points out with a low and strained voice. “Things could have been different, and I wouldn’t be here holding you, but rather, signing your name on a death cert-” Mick cuts himself off, unable to finish his sentence once again as my hand moves down to his cheek.

Pulling him to me, I press my lips to his, and thankfully, he kisses me back as his hands move to pull me closer. After a few moments, I pull away with a smile. “Thankfully, you’re not signing anything,” I remind him, watching as he gently smiles back with a nod. “I’m still here, and I’m still here with you. I can’t wait to get back home with you though,” I sigh, Mick agreeing with me.

“Me too, babe,” Mick murmurs. “As soon as we get home, I’ll get you dinner for a change since you got hurt last time.”

Quickly catching his joke, I look up at his smirking face and laugh. “Asshole!” I exclaim, smiling as it hits me that Mick’s not taking this so hard anymore, thankfully. “You’re gonna run us through a drive-thru, aren’t you?”

Laughing with me now, Mick nods, kissing my cheek. “You know me too well,” at his words, I chuckle. Of course I know him too well; I did marry the one-of-a-kind guy, after all.

#mick mars imagines #mick mars imagine #mick mars #mick mars x reader #mick mars x you #mick mars fanfiction #mick mars finfic #mick mars x fem!reader #mick mars x fem reader #mick mars motley crue #nikki sixx #vince neil #tommy lee imagine #tommy lee imagines #tommy lee x reader #nikki sixx imagines #nikki sixx imagine #motley crue #motley crue imagine #motley crue x reader #the dirt imagines #the dirt imagine #the dirt x reader #the dirt

[rosyjuly]

🌟🌟🌟 please?

i wasn't sure which part would please you my liege but you mentioned you liked the hotel room - door bit so! director's cut

He has to wait so long after knocking that he considers trying again, in case Mick’s napping or on the phone. mick is trying to make himself presentable as he expects his trainer or some haas personnel. But then he hears the door unlock and then Mick’s there, cast in the yellow overhead lights of the hallway, staring at him with wide, unfocused eyes. in this au heats/ruts are more predictable, that’s why he arranged his appointment for eight. the fight with seb, however, set him off: seb, all worked up, casually talking about mick’s knot and getting someone pregnant and just. caring a lot about whom mick sleeps with as if he was jealous… (dear reader, as you know, he was.)

“Seb?” he asks, incredulous. for a sec mick is like, am i seeing things now? that’s not a normal rut symptom. It’s fair that he didn’t expect Seb, not after how Seb chewed him out, and, well – it’s certainly unorthodox to show up unsolicited when you know the other is about to go into rut. that did not hold you back from doing it though, did it. stubborn man. 

“Hey,” Seb says, offering a small smile. “Can I come in?” conflict management 10/10  

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Mick tells him. mick’s like, it’s not a good idea because i’ll be thinking about you the whole time anyways, and adding your scent into that mix is dangerous and even more inappropriate and it’ll just suck more that i can’t actually have you. He must want to keep his room free of another omega’s scent, Seb realizes with a flare of resentment. nope! He steps into Mick’s space and Mick steps back, keeping the distance between them; but now there’s enough space for Seb to cross the threshold and bully his way into the room. seb’s jealousy vs rational thinking: 2-0. not doing well today my man. Mick sighs and closes the door. He doesn’t lock it. he’s not going to lock an omega in a room with himself when he’s in rut. “Just for a minute, okay? Why are you here?” 

“I got you some food – I know you can get room service, but better safe than sorry, right?” Seb says, chuckling. ha-ha sebastian. he’s now trying to show that he’s A-okay with mick spending his rut with someone else. Mick doesn’t laugh. He crosses his arms and watches Seb. mick is bewildered but trying to stay collected. Seb sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I shouldn't have said all that,” he admits. “DAS is fine. I know you can manage yourself. I just – I worry.” = i just don’t understand why you wouldn’t ask me. but i can and should respect your decision, i've calmed down enough. (this was @prettydangrotten 's line btw ty my beautiful genius) 

“Okay,” Mick nods. He licks his lips. He’s sweating, Seb realizes for the first time. “Okay, thanks. I appreciate you saying that. Is that all?” mick’s on a mission to get him out of that room asap. he doesn’t want to do anything rash, doesn’t want seb to think that he’s trying to take advantage of him. 

Seb’s taken aback for a second, and then Mick is leaning over him to reach for the doorknob. Instinctively, Seb takes a deep breath but he can barely smell anything. But now with Mick bent close to him, he sees how flushed Mick is, the perspiration pearling at his hairline. babe he’s in rut!

“You must be on some hardcore blockers if I can’t smell you right now,” Seb says without meaning to. He reaches out to skim his fingers across Mick’s skin where he must’ve applied the blocker stick but Mick makes a noise, harsh and sudden, and the next second Seb’s pressed against the door. mick smells all the other people on him and he goes wild for a second – like seb’s his. why are other people getting their hands on him! There’s something soft between the crown of his head and the wood – Mick’s hand, he realizes, as it trails down to cup his nape. mick is protecting him :( even though he’s being a brute right now. Mick’s all but buried his face in his neck, taking shuddering breaths. he’s scenting seb - for all his hesitation about not wanting seb in his room he’s now desperately trying to seek out seb’s own fresh sweet scent, untouched by everyone else. His skin is scorching hot.

“You’re not going to make it until eight,” Seb says, reeling. His hands itch to reach up and cup Mick’s head, but he keeps them by his sides. he wants to pulls mick close and fist a hand in his hair and let mick scent him for real but he can’t - he is not here for that. “You’re fully in rut now, aren’t you?” good job my dearest sherlock holmes.

#i kept ADDING and ADDING but this is already so long wow #unfortunately i could do this to the whole fic #truly i'm a woman who loves to run her mouth #director's cut #you can still send me asks about this if you want because i would LOVE to speak some more lmao #a/b/o #sebmick #worked the blade

[moonlight-fan2008]

Moonlight rewatch for millionth time

Episode 4 random thoughts and feelings I had while rewatching again: cause I’m bored and have nothing else to do or watch. And I love this show

“When it’s Beth calling I always pick up.” Mick’s such a softie

Also a week has passed by since episode 3

“Probably wouldn’t use that term today if I was you [in reference to graveyard shift]” Mick is unintentionally sassy sometimes like I know he’s being genuine with that, but it comes off as a little bit sassy

Beth to Mick: “You’re a delicate flower Mick St. John” me whispers “yes he is”

I know it’s acting but I love how Beth and Mick look at each other

“Seems like he can get the jump on just about anyone” 🫤 okay like what’s that supposed to mean?

That dirty DA must have been so relieved that there was a phone call from that cop, Colden’s phone to Amir’s phone that must have been the biggest break he was hoping and praying for

Mick’s always so soft and gentle with people, with Ilene when she comes to him for help, when he’s rescuing Julia from Lee Jay, with Leni when he’s trying to convince her to come back to L.A with him, how he treats Audrey, his brief time with Tierney to name a few and it’s so annoying he calls himself a monster like a person who is truly awful doesn’t constantly worry that they’re a bad person nor are they gentle with others.

I know Beth was blaming herself and Josh for those brief moments that she thought Mick was dead. Like I think Josh took it as a you think I’m capable of doing something illegal like that but I think Beth’s anger towards him was more like you forced me to bring him on this case so we’re/you’re de facto responsible for his death

I like that they sprinkle in little tidbits of Mick’s human life like mentioning he survived the “Battle of the Bulge” (which took place between 16 December 1944 – 28 January 1945) in this episode then bring up other parts of WWII he was a part of like he was a medic when he’s helping Josh, or that he was on the queen Mary during her time as a war ship in the episode Click, and everything that took place in episode 15

I know this is a serious moment and Mick’s on deaths door but what random ass “motel hell” in the middle of nowhere has a mini bar? I feel like that’s the last thing they’d have but I don’t travel much or very rarely out of my state so what do I know?

Beth once again dropping everything to help save Mick

I feel like some of Mick’s shame and guilt are sometimes deeply ingrained religious trauma in a way. Like he’s always apologizing and feeling guilty for something. but whether or not he considers religion bad or not, is something different. He at least seems to have positive feelings about going to church every Sunday with his parents.

Idk though he just has like that stereotypical Catholic guilt thing to him. I say Catholic guilt because he’s been to confession before as we see in episode 12:04 AM and confession (I think) is primarily a catholic thing

I love Alex’s acting when he thinks he hurt Leni, the poor man is shaking and looks like a mess and you can see the shame in his body language and eyes.

“I guess I am a delicate flower” 🥹 yes you are

I love how much Beth trusts Mick to offer up her blood to save him. Like he think he’s a monster and he’s going to hurt her some day but she knows he’s not and he’s just screaming at her to get out because he’s so ashamed of what he is and he can’t even look at her at some points

And Beth’s like I’m trying to save you damn it! You’re not a monster

Like look at them ❤️

“Not your blood! not like this!” I still can’t get over this line, it’s very brief and isn’t really touched upon in later episodes well at least in so many words but it’s very telling about Mick’s character. Josef later teases Mick that he’s a romantic in the abstract but when it comes to the reality of fang on flesh he’s a bit more… Mick cuts him off but I think Josef may have said something like aloof (maybe? Idk if that makes sense) I think Mick either wants to be completely separated from the person who’s blood he’s drinking or it has to be something very special.

He’s had a few freshies but we only see one, a redhead in the second episode and I would say the encounter is very formal despite the intimate nature of feeding someone your blood. Then in Episode 16, after he’s drinking Simone’s blood he says it’s not a big deal and they weren’t making out. Which is a very interesting comparison because making out is itself an intimate act.

So Mick probably had some romantic fantasy built up in his mind of how something like that would have happened with Beth.

*Yes maybe I overanalyzed the scene but I don’t care

I wonder if Leni was able to hear them arguing and what was going on in her mind during that conversation:

I know Mick probably thought Beth would never want to see him again but I think a part of him really hoped and wanted to see her again. Like when she knocks on his door he perks up a little bit like a puppy or kitten with their owner returning home.

#moonlight cbs #mick st. john #alex o'loughlin #cbs moonlight #moonlight tv #moonlight #beth turner #sophia myles #mick st john #tv show #moonlight: fever #season 1 episode 4 fever #moonlight: tv show #moonlightedit #moonlight 2007

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

angst 37 please ! ✨

oof that one is a doozy.

angst sentence prompt from THIS post

angst #37 They were there you weren't.

"Are you done gargling old man balls for the night?" Mickey snapped as he looked around the club nervously.

Ian looked at him with a smirk, "I made five hundred tonight, why don't we go somewhere and celebrate?" the shine from the rhinestones on his slinky outfit made sparkles shine on his face.

"What'd you have to do to get five hundred?" Mickey asked worriedly, his brain racking the last eight hours, Ian didn't leave the front of the club so he couldn't have been making a porn or sucking anyone off.

"There are genuinely men who just want to be paid attention to Mick." Ian admonished.

"Riiight, well whatever Red let's get the fuck outta here. We can go celebrate where you want to." Mickey hated being in the club any longer than necessary after Ian worked a shift.

Ian gave Mickey a little smirk and then weaved his way from the dance floor to the dressing room.

While he waited for Ian at the bar his phone chimed off.

He glanced at it and rolled his eyes, it was Svetlana, who was having some stupid pregnancy craving. 'Dunno why that means she has to hit up my phone.' Mickey thought to himself.

Then his phone chimed again, he looked seeing Svetlana's name he read over the message a couple times.

Mickey sighed, DJay was right, It's hard out here for a pimp.

Ian's red hair gleamed as he came out from the dressing rooms and approached Mickey, nodding towards the exit.

Ian led Mickey out of the club and they climbed into the Uber that Ian had ordered while he was finishing up.

"Before we go celebrate wherever you were wanting to go, can we stop by somewhere? Svetlana and the girls don't have any food."

Ian tilted his head to the side, but didn't protest, "Sure, where do you want to go to get them food?"

"I don't care, McDonalds, White Castle, somewhere that has cheap food in big quantities to feed their hooker asses." Mickey muttered.

"Can we make a swing to White Castle and another stop before going to the initial destination?" Ian asked the Uber driver.

"Sure, just tell me where."

"White Castle for now is good." Ian answered.

The Uber driver headed to the nearest White Castle and Mickey went in and ordered a few of the slider cases before coming back out.

Mickey gave the driver the address to the Milkovich house.

When they arrived Ian followed Mickey out of the car and helped him carry the food until they got inside.

Babbling in Russian sounded through the house as Mickey and Ian made their way to the kitchen, "Yo come get food before it's gone!" Mickey shouted loud enough for the girls scattered throughout the house could hear him.

As Ian placed the food on the table a trickle of women came into the kitchen, each of them speaking Russian to the other. The last one coming in was Svetlana.

Though it had been time between them seeing each other, Ian could tell that Svetlana recognized him from that first time. She hadn't seen him since he had gotten back from the army and the surprise on her face made Ian feel a mix of humor and nerves in his belly.

"Mikhailo такой милый муж у меня." She said coming over and patting Mickey's cheek with her hand.

"Svet you know I don't understand that Russian shit, just speak fucking English." Mickey said with a sigh, pulling away from her touch.

"I said such a sweet husband I have to come when beckoned. When needed." Svetlana glanced at Ian as she repeated her words.

Her eyes widening slightly, drawing a clear line in the sand, "My husband, not yours."

Ian looked away from her as a pang of jealousy hit him.

"Just eat your damn food and get off me, Me and Ian are going out." Mickey muttered to Svetlana before turning to leave with Ian.

"оранжевый мальчик хочет, чтобы у него был мой муж." Svetlana said turning to the group of women around her as Mickey and Ian started to leave.

They erupted in peals of giggles and Ian couldn't help but feel like they were laughing at him.

"Just shut up and eat your White Castle." Mickey snapped before leaving out the front door.

He and Ian climbed back into the Uber.

"Where do you wanna go?" Ian asked Mickey softly.

"How about Burt's? Pizza sounds good." Mickey replied in a tired voice.

"Sure." Ian said nodding to the driver.

As the Uber headed to Burt's Mickey and Ian rode in silence, Ian was trying to think of something to say to Mickey, he wanted to talk about Svetlana and the other, women that were staying at the Milkovich house, but didn't know how to bring it up.

"Thanks for the ride man." Ian said as they exited the Uber and followed Mickey into the pizza parlor.

Ian and Mickey looked at the menu before ordering some cheese curds drinks and a large fourteen inch pan with sausage, giardiniera, and spinach.

Mickey popped a cheese curd in his mouth and nearly choked when Ian asked, "So seems like things with the wife are going good."

Mickey's eyebrows shot up as he looked at Ian with surprise, "What the fuck? Where did that come from?" Mickey asked taking a drink of his soda and wiping his mouth off with his hand.

"Well, you guys were pretty friendly together at the house, her and the other, um girls, were practically fawning all over you and hugging and worshiping you." Ian said pointedly.

"Those whores are just grateful that I'm not shitty like their last pimp and don't care if they eat or starve. The whole reason I liberated those bitches was because Sasha wasn't letting them keep enough money from their handies and blowies. I didn't want to bring them into a worse place by not keeping their energy up to fucking work."

Mickey paused a moment, "As for Svetlana, as far as I'm concerned she's just another whore in the house I gotta make sure works and eats."

Ian looked away from Mickey for a moment, looked at his hands resting on the table.

Mickey raised an eyebrow at Ian, wondering where the fuck that topic came from. He didn't interact hardly at all with Svetlana since being back from the army, last he knew Ian had seen Svetlana last at the wedding. He grimaced at the memory.

"It just, seems like you all are getting along better, is all." Ian muttered, his brow furrowing and his eyes glancing up at Mickey for a moment.

"What the fuck are you trying to say Ian? Just spit it out." Mickey said lamely, unable to put any fire behind his question.

"I'm not trying to say anything." Ian mumbled.

Mickey rolled his eyes, "Bullshit, you're not subtle Ian."

Ian sighed, "I just, it makes me feel, weird that you seem to be getting along so well with Svetlana and the other girls."

Mickey's brows furrowed, "Why?"

Ian felt a clench in his chest, "I don't know exactly, the other girls I don't know. But with Svetlana, I feel like... I gotta mark you off as mine so she doesn't think you're hers to do with what she pleases."

Mickey's mouth fell open for just a minute, his eyes flickering between pain and anger.

"Number one, I'm not anyone's fucking property, if I belong to anyone, it's my fucking self so no one is going to be "marking me as theirs". Second Svetlana knows that she's only my wife in name and legalities only, if it weren't for a fucking divorce costing so much she'd already be out on her Russian ass."

Mickey took a breath, "Me making sure she and the other whores eat have nothing to do with caring for them, it's business. The fact that I'm a benevolent pimp doesn't escape their notice."

"I don't like that they're around so much, they imprinted on you like baby ducks." Ian muttered.

"Ian, they were here, you weren't, I had nothing else to put my time, energy and focus into besides making money or drinking myself into a blackout haze. It was that or just, sit here waiting for you to come home, whether or not I knew you would."

Mickey didn't say the words harshly, but it didn't stop from making Ian's heart feel like it tore or his being feel covered in overwhelming guilt.

He had left Mickey here all alone, to deal with Svetlana, the pregnancy, Terry. He had left him alone.

"Hey," Mickey murmured softly reaching across the table and placing a hand on Ian's.

"I'm not," he paused running a thumb along Ian's knuckles and sighing, "I'm not trying to make you feel shitty, or guilty about leaving, I know why you did. I just don't want you feeling like there's more to me and those girls, Svetlana included, than just a pimp and whore relationship. That's all."

Mickey looked up, searching Ian's face with his eyes that made Ian wonder what the heaven's looked like if this blue was here on earth.

Ian sighed and nodded his head, "I'm sorry."

Mickey rose from his side of the booth, Ian felt a dropping fear in his gut, but he relaxed when Mickey slid into the seat next to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"I love you." He murmured into Ian's neck.

"I love you too." Ian said turning to place a kiss on Mickey's lips.

So long as they had their love, they could make it through anything.

#anon ask #angst list prompt #shameless #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #svetlana yevgenivna #gallavich fanfic #Mickey is a benevolent pimp #Ian is jealous #slight angst #angst/comfort

[riofann]

Rio Random 4

Things got a lot better after that, to your surprise. But you had both decided that you were basically going to do a redo and actively  work on your relationship. It was a bit difficult at first. But you felt better when you saw Mick removing drugs from your house. He also got you a security system that you could look at from your phone to see who has been in and around the house. You didn’t smell Beth around your house as often either. You actually didn't hear much about Beth, as far as you were concerned things were being dealt with.   

Rio would stop by two times a week at least on top of dates breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, or dessert. He was a romantic at heart actually, you would find flowers at home or at work sitting on your desk. He often used to look at you and smile which made you blush. You also met Marcus and Rhea one night at a state fair. Rhea was like Rio, hard to read you could see why the two ended up together. All together your relationship was far from perfect but you could honestly say you were happy. 

One late afternoon you rushed home from work. Rio had sent you a text saying he had left a present for you. He often did this when he found lingerie that he liked and wanted you to wear it. Some dates he had dressed you from head to toe, others he provided the undergarments. Not that your taste was bad but he enjoyed doing this. 

When you open the door to your home you hear voices coming from the bottom of your house before you could turn around and walk away you come face to face with a strange woman. 

“Uh hi” Ruby greets uneasily 

“Who are you?” You ask 

“Uh Krystal”

Quickly Beth comes around the corner “Oh Y/N I was just ummm....”

You close your door now pissed, what are you doing in my house. Mick had moved all the drugs from your home, Rio had promised you nothing was left in your house. You looked around to see your house in disarray before turning your attention back to Beth  and these other women.

“Oh well Rio wanted me to drop off something”

“Did he? Inside my house? He doesn’t even have a key, so how’d you get in?” 

“Well Mick helped with that” “Okay what are you dropping off” 

“Uh,” “Right let me just give him a call I’m sure he would love to hear about this”

“NO! Let's not bother him you know he is busy right Be... be be because he wouldn't like that right Krys?” Annie interjects

“Or should I call the police?”

Without warning Beth pulled out her gun and pointed it at you

“What are you doing?” Ruby asked in horror 

“Alright Sit” she says motioning with the gun 

“Are you gonna tell me what you're doing here in my house Elizabeth?”

Instinctively the two women looked at her as she looked shocked as well “How did you?” 

“Elizabeth Boland, you have  5 children with your ex husband Dean right? Used to be a stay at home wife? Did I get that right?” 

“SIT!” she demands “No, what are you gonna do? shoot me?”

“SIT!” she turns to look at Annie and Ruby before turning her attention back to you “Who told you?” 

“Oh uh Mrs. Doubtfire...  Yea i was stopping by to give you that book i borrowed and she said there was no such thing as Krystal had no idea what i was talking about then she told me everything”

“That damn woman” 

“SIT!” 

“NO!  If you're gonna point a gun at me then I expect you to shoot.” 

Ruby tugs at her arm “Beth lets just go” “NO ITS HERE” she yells while yanking her arm back  “you think you are so special, that's what he does you know. Make you feel special then he just dumps you like you're nothing!”

“But I’m not you Beth, and i'm not Rio, so whatever you're looking for its not here and whatever beef you have take it up with him”

“I SAID SIT!” 

“I'm not deaf i don't know why you're yelling” 

“Beth” Annie tries to calm the situation Beth with a bewildered look turns to look at Annie “NO!”

“This is bad” Ruby comments 

“You can't just threaten her life because of some guy....Beth” Annie states  

“I am not all I need her to do is sit Annie!....I know that it’s here it just has to be...” 

As they argued within themselves you felt like it was the perfect opportunity to sneak away as you got close to the door. You turned abruptly to open it when you heard commotion followed by  sharp pain on your side, you looked down to see blood seeping through your clothes. You slowly fall to the floor back resting against the wall. 

“OH MY GOD BETH!” “SHE WAS GETTING AWAY” she defends “HE IS GOING TO KILL US” Annie states looking at her sister like she had 5 heads “I’M SO SORRY Y/N” she says rushing towards you 

“YOU BITCH” You kick her in the chest causing her to fall back, you groan and hold onto your side 

“This isn't good please don't kick me none of this was supposed to happen” Ruby says slowly crouching down next to you

“Put pressure on it” Annie instructs

“I need towels!” 

“It's gonna be okay” Ruby tries her best to sooth you “I can't believe you” 

“I didn't” Beth says while holding onto your wound

Annie rushed back with towels in hand

“Uh guys we have to take her to the hospital” You don’t know when it happens but you start to fade away “Y/N! Can you stand?” “Y/N!” Annie calls your name “she's not... Y/N stay awake 

“What's wrong with you?” Ruby scolds

“What? Ruby..” 

“Why are you trigger happy”

“It was an accident, help me get her in the car!” 

“Well we can't go out the front door”

“Then help me get her through the fucking back door Annie”

“Oh my god” Annie says throwing her hands up 

When 30 minutes pass Rio is beyond infuriated with you. You were not picking up his calls or answering his texts and from what he knew you were at home.He doesn’t  know why you flaked on him, he thinks you were in a drunken slumber wondering how you got back into it, you had shown signs of improvement. 

When he gets to your house however he opens the door, he hears Coconut’s barking and he immediately spots the pool of blood by the door

“Go find her is all he needs to say to Mick”  

He walks through your home, there were multiple holes cut in your walls, holes in the cushion seat on the couch, furniture overturned. When he walks into the bedroom everything is in disarray just like the living area. Carefully he walks down the steps and spots your bag. He thinks you were ambushed. His mind goes into overdrive and is thinking of who would have the gull to do such a thing as far as he was concerned everyone knew enemy wise especially in this line of business that children and wives/girlfriends were out of the question. So whoever had the gull to do such a thing was bold and he’s wondering who it could be. He makes a few calls before he’s sitting in front of your laptop trying to log in. another phone call and he’s given the password. When he looks through the security footage nothing but rage takes over. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After pacing the floor in silence Ruby explodes with emotion “He is going to kill us!” 

“He doesn't know where we are” Beth counters

“I have a child Beth and I need to call Stan and let him know what’s going on!” 

“So do I Ruby, I have 5 to be exact,  he wont do anything she's just a placeholder anyway”

Ruby looks at her in disbelief “Are you kidding me he broke up with YOU to be with HER she is no placeholder”

“She's not special he can find another woman  like her anytime soon” Beth states dismissively 

“Beth i don't like this you need to call him and tell him it was a  mistake” Annie jumps into the conversation 

“Relax he doesn't know where we are he’s not stupid plus Dean will throw his ass in jail”

Putting her hands up Ruby states “I can’t believe you” before she walks away A brief moment of silence before Beth’s phone starts ringing

When they all look at the phone only unknown flashes through the screen after the 5th time the screen is black for good

“Elizabeth please for our sake just tell him” Ruby pleads “we can’t be hidden forever” 

“NO! Now shut up and let me think!” 

“Or what you're gonna shoot me” Ruby expresses frustrated 

“It was an accident!” 

Ruby scoffs, “Like shooting him too? I'm starting to think you’re trigger happy”

“Don't start accusing me you shot someone in the foot!” 

“That was an accident! We all know it was, but you just can't let this life go huh. You can't let this power go so whoever stands in your way you're gonna get rid of them” 

Beth walked up to Ruby looking at her right in the eye “You're right so move out of my way” she didn't have time to be arguing with her so if that meant intimidating her she would. 

Annie quickly got between the two and separated them. “Guys i cant right now please not now, i can't deal with this, we just need to stick together” 

Beth was right Rio couldn't locate them at first but he had found you. You were in the surgical icu stabilizing after your surgery. Because you were considered a Jane Doe no one was really allowed to see you, but Rio had his connections and he walked in to see you fast asleep before walking out. He says nothing as Mick drives him over to Beth’s house. Nothing was out of the ordinary except Beth was missing. He also had other cars posted outside of Ruby’s house and Annie's. 

“Aii bet” he hangs up the phone irritated that no one could locate Beth, she had become a protégé, so good at hiding things from him now. 

"You gon’ have to get rid of her” Mick states before looking at Rio,  “She shot you, planned your assassination," he scoffs "stolen, sabotaged, lied, how much more you gon let her get away with"

“I cant get rid of her, if i do i gotta deal with the other 2, not to mention the stupid ass husbands that's almost 10 kids in foster care, too much heat its bad for business now anyway, plus I'm still under the microscope cuz of Turner” 

“Both can’t co exist  though, so you either with Beth or you with Y/N.”

“Fuck me”

“Gotta make a move boss”

“Ima figure something out” 

It takes 2 days but he finally locates them. Abruptly woken from their sleep and thrown in a van they find themselves in an unknown place, kneeling in front of him, with plastic bags underneath them. 

“Please i have children” Beth tries to plead her case 

Rio’s shoulders roll back before he speaks “Nah see you can’t keep doing that mama, you can't keep provoking me and asking for mercy cuz you got kids.”

“I'm a mother, they need their mother!”

“Please Rio” Ruby interjects 

“See that's the problem, I hoped you being a mother, you would actually be more careful but I get it now. You just wanna be reckless and use me as your cover. Shoot me 3 times it's my fault. Steal my fault, lie my fault, plot to kill me my fault" his shoulders roll "what was Y/N’s fault why you shoot her?" Already knowing the answer he wanted to see what she would  say 

"She knows my name I know you told her"

"She's my girl"

"Right just like I was but unlike her you can't replace me you need me!” 

"Humor me Beth, are you jealous?" 

Beth scoffs “of what?"  

"Y/N"

She scoffs again "you wish! You probably get off knowing 2 women want you" 

He licks his bottom lip and smiles. It takes a minute before he speaks “So what should i do with you, all of you? I know I’m tired of this game, we’ve been playing it for too long. Aint y’all tired of wondering if im gon kill you?” He asks addressing Annie and Ruby

“Please I promise to walk away” Annie offers 

“Annie shut up!” Beth scolds 

“NO! YOU SHUT UP BETH GOD YOU ARE SELFISH! ALWAYS HAVE BEEN!” 

“Annie I’m trying to....” Before she can finish she stops after she hears her phone ringing  

Rio looks down at the phone “Talk it out I gotta take this call” he says before walking away 

The girls don’t say anything but look at each other. When they see him return Beth comments “I got this let me speak.” waiting for him to sit down before she begins “You can’t kill us and you know it. So you can run back to your little girlfriend and kiss her wound and tell her she's special and I'll go back to doing my thing” she says snidely Both Annie and Ruby looked at her shocked.

“She is, it could have been you but the 3 bullets kinda changed my mind”

“OH MY GOD! Can you let that go!”

“I did then I found out you hired a hitman and some kid to shoot me. Things change all the time between us,  you know this”

“So what are you gonna do? Because we have work to do”

“I know.” He nods at the men behind them. The zip ties are cut before he walks away “I’ll see you around yea?”

When he leaves they all look at each other shocked that he even let them walk away. They remain in that position until all the men leave. 

“See I told you!”

“I can’t do this Beth you need some serious help and I’m not willing to wager my family as collateral for it”  Ruby states “It worked” “For you! Not for us, you think it's just a one woman show where you do everything? Like your actions don’t have any effect on our lives'' “Ruby it worked I don’t know why you’re being such a baby about it” “Yea well better that than you” 

Annie interjects once again  before things get heated “Guys can we just figure out how to get home”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what now?” Mick asks frustrated with the whole thing. “She still working for you?”  he knew the pattern all too well Beth would do something to get back at Rio 

“Nah we moving, leaving Michigan, getting new headquarters. She wanna run the business? Cool, but no protection, no muscle, no supply of weapons, no connections, yea she can print money but she can’t operate or deal, not without me. Make sure everyone knows if they entertain her they are dead. I don’t care what it is if I find out I’m putting a bounty on your head. She right though I can’t kill her but i can kill her business” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a few days but when you regain consciousness in the hospital you see one of Rio’s men at least you’re assuming he is sitting by you. You two don’t speak and you go back to sleep. The next day police stop by to question you about your shooting, you tell them the story Rio’s guy told you, a home invasion gone wrong. They leave satisfied with the explanation. Rio comes to visit a few days after  you have been moved to a step down unit that was more private.

The door opens and you watch as he walks in “Rio”

Hey mama he approaches you with hands behind his back and as he gets closer a cute teddy bear that has ‘get well soon on it’ 

“How you feeling?”  he asks taking a seat next to you on the bed 

“I got shot” you state factually

“You got shot” he says moving the hair from your face 

“Where have you been? The cops came to see me”

“I know they stopped by, I was handling something. Did you tell them what Honcho told you to say?”

“Yes” 

He smiles and looks at you with a face you can’t quite read

“So where is she?” 

You were hoping he would say dead in a ditch somewhere or something along the lines of ‘you never have to worry about her’ but what he said made you more angry

“At home”

“She's alive?”

“Yea” 

You roll your eyes, was she gonna be thorn on your side for the rest of your life with Rio? “But she won’t bother you” “Yea said that last time and now i have a bullet hole on my side that says otherwise” “Nah she won’t be able to reach you this time cuz we leaving, after you get discharged” 

“What? You want me to move?” 

“Yea,we can...”  You interrupt "There's no we anymore, you're like a bad omen. In less than a year since  i met you I get shot and now i have a bullet wound because of your unhinged ex that you couldn't keep in check and you still think there's a 'we' " 

“I told you,” he runs his hand down his chin “i asked you to be patient” he speaks softly 

“Be patient, meant with you! So you could change not ‘be patient, my crazy ex who i can't control will shoot you months from now but i still need you to understand” you say sarcasm laced in your tone 

“Y/N” “You told me to treat you like any other guy on the street, so I am. We are done!” 

“You can't stay here” he stresses “Why not?” “Beth isn’t my only enemy, and once she finds out my plans she will go to them for revenge” 

“So where are we going? I have a career here! Aunt Brenda and Mia, my parents, I visit their graves often”  

“They can come visit you, You can always get another job, it’s not safe for you here Y/N”

“Was it ever safe? Didn’t you have enemies before? Was I not in danger then” 

“This is different, Beth is vengeful I can’t risk it” 

“Where are we going?” 

“I can't tell you, not now I’m still figuring that out” 

“Typical” “Listen i'm packing up your house I’m gonna get you a new place in a new city you'll get a job” 

“Rio are you kidding me you want me to just up and leave?” “Yea,” he stands up and looks down at you  “it’s non negotiable, i gotta protect you, after you get discharged we leaving” 

“Protect me? From who? The only person I need protection from is you. Rein que le diable (nothing but the devil)” 

He stares at you for a moment  “get some rest” he says before kissing your forehead. He didn’t care about how you felt in the moment protecting you, Marcus, and Rhea were his top priority and he knew that always came with push back no matter who he was talking to.

A/N: as always tell me what you think. Not really a fan of this chapter didn’t know how to go around it. 

#Manny Montana #rio x you #Brio #rio x reader #good girls nbc #nbc rio good girls #nbc good girls fic #nbc good girls #rio good girls #rio x beth #beth boland

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part eighty seven/

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: enjoy!

Warnings: light smut, death?, language

Taglist: @miserablecunt​ , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol ,  @a-simple-salmon ,  @hi-my-name-is-riley​ , @extremesadnerding​ , @thatbandchick39​ , @awkwrdcait​ , @countrygirlswonderland​, @awesomealmostdopestudent​, , @tashy-bear​, @krazykatkay456​, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill​ @beachystars​, @rodriguez025​, @kickstart-myheart-sixx​, @s-outhie​, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls​, @vintagebox​ @shamelessobsessions​, @jerseytaint​@criminalyetminimal​, @trapt-in-a-dream​,  @broke-n-bitchy,  @lovesick-heart0​, @keepcalm-and-beyou​, @miriampraez​, @teenwolflover28​, @lilyhw1​, @herbertweeest​, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001​,  @waywardprincess666​, @iluvmesomemarvelndc​, @zoenicoles​, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london​, @nassauartist  @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe,  @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist , @sleepyjunhong  @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier  @xxisxxisxxis, @dogmom2014, @cruesixxlover1991, @xpoisonousrosesx,  @m0rnlngstar, @love-struck-aries, @youretheonlyonewhomakesme,  @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @patheticgay69 @rocknroll--baby @redlipscrystalskies14, @samanthadegaro @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @thechangingme, @idkmanhereisshitilike, @makaelahdelvalle

"Maybe...maybe I can send them flowers? Everyone likes flowers right? Or send a muffin basket. People like to eat when someone dies." I rambled on and on as Nikki followed me through the house.

"I should just call right? It shows I care more than sending flowers or sweet treats. That's what I would like. Should I do that? What do you think I should do?" I took a deep breath in, trying to keep the tears from coming as I picked up scattered toys from both Arianna and Anarchy.

"Vanity.." Nikki spoke softly as he put his hand on my shoulder. I exhaled deeply before covering my face.

"How do I say I'm sorry for the lost of your child?"  I croak, sobbing into my hands as he pulled me flush against his chest, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder

Mick had called just a little while ago explaining to us that Sharise called to let him know Skylar had passed away due to complications from her cancer diagnosis. Mick mentioned Vince was a mess and couldn't pick up the phone.

Nikki kisses the back of my head. I hear him sniffling too, "Y-you should call him.." I turn in his embrace to face him, "He's your brother. You should reach out, he's probably in so much pain right now."

Nikki disagreed as he shook his head which caused me to cry harder, "I-I can't do that. He barely answered my calls months ago. He wouldn't answer them now. Especially not right now. He has his friends and family, Vanity."

I take a few deep breaths in through my nose as I try to relax, "Do you still have his number? I'll call him. It's-it's out of respect Nikki. Imagine if it was-if it was Ari.." I get worked up again, tears pouring out as I wipe at them to the point that it hurt.

"I don't want to think of that." He looks at me, rubbing his hand over his face before it rests over his mouth as he's thinking, "Just say whatever you need to say to feel better." He tells me as he reaches for the phone, punching in numbers before he's holding it out for me.

I take the phone stepping over to him and giving him a kiss on the cheek, he breathes in deeply before giving my hip a squeeze and goes out to the backyard with the dog.

I sit down on the couch, hearing the phone ring before a grumbled voice answers, "H-hey Vinny...it's Vanity. Vanity Blackwood.." I hear Vince's sigh of annoyance, "Mick just called...I am so sorry for your loss. I couldn't even begin to imagine what you're going through.."

Vince laughs a bit, "Yeah. Right. Look, I don't need to hear a pity party especially from you."

I frown a bit at his harsh tone seeping through the phone, "It's not like that at all Vince. We're still friends even if you and Nikki aren't...at least I think we are?"

"You and Nikki and your happy little family can just fuck the hell off! Don't call me again, Vanity."

My eyes water as I try to blink back tears, seeing Nikki standing at the glass door smoking a cigarette and looking at me, "Vince, it's not like that at all, I swear to you. I am sorry for your guys's fallout but I am just coming to you as a parent, that's all. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am and if you or Sharise need anything at all just let me know."

"I don't need shit from you."

"Vince-" I put the phone down when I hear the dial tone on the other line. I run my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends as I sink into the couch. I should have just chose the nice flower bouquet and an apology note.

I close my eyes, hearing the sliding door open and shut before Nikki sits on the couch next to me. I raise his arm and curl up into his side, "He just said for me and my happy family to fuck off."

"He's upset and mourning doll...he doesn't mean it." I nod as I breathe in the scent of cigarette smoke and old spice deodorant.

"I know. Maybe I'll try Sharise."

Nikki sighed before reaching with his other hand to grasp my chin, pointing my head upwards to look at him, "Not right now Van, let her be with her parents. I'm sure she'll be with Vince too and they have each other. I know you have nothing but good intentions but just let it be for now, okay?"

I look at Nikki, nodding slowly as my eyes burn and sting with tears, "Okay..."

*Tommy's POV*

I yawned following Nikki around the antique store as he checked out some tables and lamps. I fumbled with some clock before Nikki scolded me like a child to put it down before I broke it, "Dude this store is boring.." I groan as we go further into the shop.

"God, you're worse than Arianna. I can't find anything anyways. I probably have to go to the shop out in Santa Barbra." Nikki tells me as we start heading back to front of the store, we wave bye to the shop clerk before walking through the mall.

I tune Nikki out as he starts going on about how he wants to redo the decor for his office. My eyes wander to the bright fluorescent lights of the jewelry store as my feet take me into its direction, "Hold on man, I want to look at something real quick."

I've been thinking about proposing to Clementine as we've been together for a little over a year now. Clem and I have never really talked about marriage other than my last two failed ones, "How'd you know you wanted to propose to Van? And how did you know it was the right time?" I turn to Nikki as I open up the door and walk in.

He chuckles a bit, "Uh...I don't know man? I just knew. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I know some people think we rushed into getting engaged and despite how everything is at the moment, I love her and I don't think I could ever imagine her being away from me. Why?"

"I don't know...with Clem being pregnant and everything I've just been thinking about asking her to marry me. I rushed with the other two and I just don't want to make the same mistake."

"Tommy, if you think you have to be married just because she's pregnant and society tells you it's the right thing to do then you're dumb. It's okay to not be tied up just in case it doesn't work out."

I shook my head looking at some rings in the glass case, "No, I don't want to marry her just because she's pregnant. I want to marry her because I love her. I just don't want her to feel pressured, I know you don't like her that much but I don't want her to freak out on me."

"Are you to gentleman looking for something in particular? I'd be happy to help." A busty redhead comes up to me and Nikki "Were having a sale today, our rings start at five thousand and it's 15% off for customizing."

I shake my head, "No thank you, I'm just looking for now.."

"Well, do you have anything that screams I'm sorry for being an asshole and I love you?" Nikki questioned as the woman laughed.

"Our diamond tennis bracelets are right over here. They're always a winner and they start at twenty five hundred."

"Thanks, I'll take a look around." Nikki tells her as I laugh a bit.

"In the dog house again?" I question as I bend down, finding a diamond on a simple gold band.

"When am I not in the fucking dog house?" I hear the eye roll in his voice, "I-I went on another date with Donna, but I didn't come home until the morning so Van thinks I'm sleeping with her now but I'm not. She'll barely say anything to me, but I'm not allowed to get mad when she's up late at night talking to whoever that guy is she's been seeing. All laughing and giggling and talking sweet. It makes me want to vomit."

"Well maybe you two shouldn't be seeing other people. That just sounds bad already, but sounds explosive for you two in particular. You really haven't slept with Donna? She's super hot."

We both smirks at each other like naughty school boys, "Yeah, she is isn't she? But no, I swear on Nonas grave I haven't slept with her. Just heavy make out sessions but nope, I've kept my dick in my pants. Would like it to go inside Van but she's being, well, she's being Van."

I laughed a bit as I glanced at some other rings, "Hate to break it to you man, but that's never gonna change. You think Clem would like that one?" I point to a silver band with an oval shaped diamond and a few smaller diamond wrapping around it.

I watched as Nikki shrugged, "I don't know man. It's simple but gets the point across. Clementine doesn't strike me as someone who would want a big fancy diamond that could be used as a paper weight."

I waved over that same redhead from earlier, "Uh...Maxine? Can I see that ring right there please?"

I wait and watch as Maxine unlocks the glass case, seeing Nikki wander off to go look at earrings. I smile when the ring is laid on a black velvet platform for me. I gently pick it up, seeing the jewels sparkle under the light. The inclusions of the diamonds created a rainbow affect as I tilted it back and forth between my finger tips.

"I think I'll take it. She needs a size 7."

"Oh that's wonderful! This is a very beautiful ring and any woman would be lucky to have it. Let me get it sized and wrapped up for you and I'll meet you at the cash register." Maxine tells me as she takes the ring and heads to the back.

I go over to Nikki seeing him holding up a gold tennis bracelet but every other stone was a ruby, or a garnet. I could never tell the difference.

"These dangler earrings would go absolutely perfect with the bracelet." The other woman tried selling it as Nikki shook his head.

"No, she doesn't like the dangler earrings. They get caught in her hair. But she has a pair of ruby studs that would go with them. It's her birthstone. But I for sure want the bracelet. Can you wrap it up nice for me? With the gold paper."

"Yes sir, of course."

We go up to the cash register as Maxine helps me first, she opens the box and shows me the ring before putting it in a red bag, "You made a very good selection. Are we going to be doing payments on the ring?"

I clear my throat hearing Nikki chuckle behind me, "No ma'am, I want to pay it in full." I grab my wallet from my back pocket and pull out my gold American Express credit card.

"Very well then, it will be a total of 23,700$." God, Clem's gonna kill me. I pay for the ring and thank her for helping. I step to the side for Nikki to come up.

"It's okay buddy, Vans ring was 85,000$ and we didn't even get married." He tells me as I rolled my eyes, "It's just collecting dust in my underwear drawer now."

"That will be 2,800$" I hear Nikki mumble something about a princess before he digs his wallet out and groans.

"She took my card the other day and didn't put it back." I watch as he then starts pulling out hundreds and fifties.

"Jesus Christ Nikki.." I shake my head "You really keep that much money in your wallet?"

"Sometimes..."

We both walk out of the store after, "I really hope Clemmy likes it...you think she will?"

Nikki glances at me, "Yeah man. She should at least. It's a nice ring and if she doesn't then it's not the end of the world you can always take it back for it to be customized or she can pick out her own ring. It will be fine T."

"I'm sure it will be too, but you know I get nervous sometimes." I confide in him as he nods, "Have you heard from Vince?"

Nikki takes a deep breath before exhaling, "No, Vanity tried calling him but he was not very welcoming about it. But we sent Sharise flowers the other day. Have you?"

I shook my head, "I sent him an email and expressed my condolences. I did get ahold of Sharise though...she was nice. Even said we can go to Skylar's service if we wanted too, but I don't know...I feel like Vince wouldn't be too happy about that. It fucking sucks man. I couldn't ever imagine what it's like to lose a kid."

"Yeah man, I know-" I wait until Nikki unlocks his car and we both get in, "Vanity cried for hours over it then we had to explain to Arianna why she was crying. That was hard to do, but I think she sorta grasped the concept of death. I just hope we don't have to tell her again for a long time. I can't stand seeing her little bottom lip quiver or her eyebrows pulling together in confusion like that."

"Do you think I'll be a good dad? I had a good dad and I turned out fine, no offense to you. But what if I'm not good enough or there for them enough?" I slump back into the seat as I roll down the window.

"Yeah thanks for that." He laughs a bit, "I think being a dad is easier than being a rockstar. Some days are harder than others. But you have a good head on your shoulders, plus you have Clementine and wasn't she a big help in New York?"

"I mean yeah she was, but it's different when it's your own kid I think. I should read some of those parenting books. You think that would help?"

"I don't know, Tommy? I've never read them, plus kinda missed out on the whole newborn baby thing, remember?"

"Well yeah, but aren't you two gonna have more? You'd read them then right?" I ask him as he just stays quiet and focused on the road, "You two have to have more kids. Arianna needs siblings."

"Tommy, you're asking a lot of hard questions. Van and I can barely get along at the moment. We haven't had sex since Valentine's Day, and when we did she made me wear a condom. I would like to have more kids with her, but right now is just not a good time for me and her." Nikki explains to me, but I can hear the pain in his voice. I always knew how much he loved her, how he would give his last dying breath to have her.

"I don't know why you two put yourselves through this. You two aren't in your twenties anymore, I mean shit Nikki, you're almost forty."

"Shut the fuck up." Nikki reaches over and punches my arm, "I know how old I am and I'm reminded every time Vanity points out a grey hair."

"Do you tell her she's the reason why you have grey hair? Because it's probably true."

*Nikki's POV*

I stand in front of Vanity, blocking the tv with the gift bag behind my back. Her eyes dart up to mine and she gives out a sigh of annoyance, "What Nikki?"

"What Nikki?" I mock her tone, laughing as she glares at me. I sit down on the chaise part of the sectional and hold out the gold bag by my index finger, "I got something, you want it?" I raise my eyebrows and a smirk plastered on my lips as she rolls her eyes and sits forward and reaches for it, "Ah, Ah, Ah...say please."

"You're annoying." Van says as she leans her head back against the couch, "May I please have it?"

"Why of course princess." I place the bag on her lap, chuckling a bit when she throws the tissue paper at me before pulling out a long velvet box. I see her look at me a moment before she opens it. She tries to downplay her smile as she clips the gold and ruby bracelet around her wrist, "Do you like it?"

Van nods as she looks at me, her cheeks warm and pink "Thank you, Nikki. It's really pretty."

"You're welcome doll. I figured it would help with an apology...I'm sorry I didn't tell you I would be staying the night with her. I'm sure I worried you when I didn't call. And I know Arianna was upset, believe me, she let me know. But I am sorry Van." I express softly as I move closer to her on the couch, taking her wrist in my hand as I look at the bracelet.

"I'm just mad that you spent the night with her and I'm stuck here overthinking about what you may or may not be doing. I don't like thinking of that stuff but I can't help it." She explains as I take her hand and press my lips to the top of her knuckles.

"I know princess. And I'm sorry for that. I know you overthink and get anxious sometimes, I shouldn't feed into it. But I promise you Van, I didn't do anything with her and I haven't done anything and I'm not gonna do anything. Okay?" I feel her intertwine our hands together as I look at her and repeat myself, "Okay?"

She stares at me a moment "Okay...but you better mean that Nikki or I swear to god, I'll move out if you even put the fucking tip in."

I grin as I lean over and kiss her cheek "What about a hand job? Will you still move out?" I laugh when she smacks my chest, "Have you slept with that guy you're seeing? What's his name?"

Van laughs turning her head to the side before looking at me, "His name is Jon, and no I haven't slept with him. I haven't even kissed him unlike you that comes home with a hickey." She points out before poking the fading bruise on the side of my neck.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. What does he look like?"

"Um...well, he's taller than me. Has short, shaggy brown hair with some highlights. His ears are pierced and he has a few tattoos." She shrugs, "He travels back and forth between Jersey and here.." I see her glance at me as I nod.

"Oh cool. Some business dude? And you aren't bored of him? I'm surprised."

"Well...not really business like you're thinking..."

"Are you gonna see him again?" I question, pressing a kiss to her shoulder before her neck, smirking against her skin when she tilts her head.

"Yeah..next weekend. He has something planned for us.." I hear the shaky breath as my teeth gently nip her.

"He calls a lot doesn't he? That's nice of him, to check up on you...does he know about me? About us?" I question, letting my hand slide up and down her bare thigh under the blanket she's wrapped up in, finger tips dipping under the bottom hem of her pajama shorts.

Van nodded, relaxing against the couch, "He was very surprised to know that I knew you and that we have a relationship."

A deep chuckle escapes my lips as I grip her jaw in my palm and turn her head to look at me, "I'm surprised that didn't scare him off. How could an average joe live up to a rockstar?" I question, seeing her glance at my lips before looking back at me, "He couldn't please you like I could. Someone that already knows all your wants and needs...someone that knows how to get you going so easily." My hand falls from her jaw to wrap around her throat, squeezing just slightly as a I hear her quiet whimper. My eyes close when Van presses her lips against mine, her hands entangling themselves in my hair.

I reach for her arms and pull her onto my lap, her thighs straddling mine as I deepen the kiss. I grab a hold of hair in my fist, tilting her head back as I lick a stripe from the bottom of her throat to the top. I feel her nails digging into my chest before her fingers grip my shirt. Van presses her body against mine as she wraps her arms around me, she breaks the kiss her eyes staying closed as she rests her forehead against mine.

We stay like that for a moment before she tells me she loves me. I smile and peck her lips softly, "I love you too." My hands slide down her shoulders, taking the flimsy strap of the tank top with me as she does the rest of the work and pulls her arms out. I kiss across her chest as she holds my head in place. My tongue swirls around her nipples before I tug on them. My eyes glancing up at her as she moans and her head tilts back.

Her ass grinds against the tent in my sweatpants as I bite back my own moans and grunts. I feel her hand go between us as she dips inside my pants and boxers and starts jerking me off.

"Fuck me.." I groan, closing my eyes as my head rolls  from side to side. She leans closer, her tongue darting out against my neck as she kisses and sucks a bruise onto me. I suck my bottom lip between my teeth as I feel my cock leaking pre cum only for Vanity to gather it and use it while she strokes me. I start breathing heavier, feeling her speed up her ministrations as her thumb swipes over the tip repeatedly, "Fuck, Van...you're doing so good baby." I run my thumb over her bottom lip as she smiles, playfully biting it before taking it between her lips.

We both jump and she gives me a particularly hard squeeze when the house phone starts ringing. Annoyed, I reach for it on the the couch and say hello, tilting my head when Van kisses my neck.

"Is Vanity available?" I hear another mans voice as I roll my eyes.

"Yeah. Hold on." I take the phone away and hand it to her, "It's for you. I think it's your boyfriend." I smirk at her as she takes the phone from me.

I lean forward pressing my lips to her her neck and collar bone as she grips my hair and tries to pull me away, "No, no Jon I'm not busy. No, it's okay. I'm just watching TV." I look up at her as i move my head down, letting my tongue swirl around her nipple again before pinching the other one.

"Ye-yeah I'm okay!-" she gasps rather loudly when I bite down, "No, it's just the show I'm watching, um..just a soap opera. I'm a sucker for drama." She mouths 'stop' to me but I just shake my head.

"I'm doing okay, just been working and being a mom. Nothing to interesting going on over here. How about you? I miss you too Jon." I quirk an eyebrow towards her before shoving my hand into her shorts, feeling her panties and herself absolutely soaked. I slot a finger through her folds before rubbing soft circles against her clit. I laugh when she reaches for my hand to stop me.

"Is that Nikki? Um....yeah that's Nikki...soap operas are his guilty pleasure." Van grabs my shoulder when I slide two fingers in her, curling up against her immediately.

"Fuck...Jon I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow afternoon?" I look up at Van with adoring eyes as I reach to press a kiss to her chin, twisting and pumping my fingers inside her faster as a small cry leaves her pretty lips.

I place soft and delicate kisses on her neck as I hear his muffled voice on the other line. Van stares at me with bright eyes, her bottom lip stuck between her teeth as I push another finger inside of her.

"Mhmm...yes that's-that's fine Jon! Just-I gotta go....oh fuck.." I watch as her body tenses, her eyes closing shut but her lips parting as I feel her nails claw at the back of my neck when she rides out her high.

I smirk at her when I take my hand out of her pants and bring my fingers to my lips, "N-no...I'm good..I just stubbed my toe really hard. I'll talk to you tomorrow Jon, okay? Goodnight." Vanity hangs up and throws the phone down, shoving on my chest as I laugh "It's not funny, Nikki! That's embarrassing!"

"Oh come on-" I roll my eyes, "You seemed to like it very much, maybe a little too much." I grin as she shoves me again.

"I can't fucking stand you." Vanity tells me as she pretends to put up a fight, but I see the playful smirk on her face before she's pressing her chest to mine and kissing me again.

#nikki sixx #motley crue #the dirt #nikki sixx fanfic #the dirt fanfic #motley crue fanfic #writing #1980s #nikki sixx fanfiction #the dirt fanfiction #1990s #motley crue fanfiction #vince neil #bon jovi #lauren jauregui #the dirt movie #the dirt book #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #my ideas #love and leather #l&l #douglas booth!nikki sixx

[fablesrose]

Tell Me a Story 3

Summary: It’s go time

Word count: 2,188

Pairing: cop?!Dean x mafia!reader

Square filled: Crack

Warnings: shooting

Masterlist ~ Bingo Masterlist

A/n: For @girl-next-door-writes​ make me feel bingo. This only has a little bit of crack, but it was sure fun to write! One more part after this!

“Hey Angel.”

“Hey Hot Shot,” I smiled as I held my phone to my ear, the nicknames had settled in for us over the past couple of weeks, and I couldn’t deny that I liked using them. “The next monthly meeting is tonight, you ready to put on a show?”

He laughed, “Like it��s ever an act with you sweetheart.”

I snorted, “Yeah, sure.” I sighed, “Alright, for real though, be a loving boyfriend, but don’t be stupid.”

“Roger roger.”

“I guess I’ll meet you there.”

“Yup.” He hung up the phone promptly, leaving me in silence.

I rubbed my hands all over my face, “He’s a professional who’s only acting this way to make it natural and so he can get some sort of promotion. Don’t look too far into it. You’re probably going to go to prison anyway once this is all over with.” Despite telling myself this over and over, it really didn’t make a difference. I groaned and tried to force my face to relax from the smile I was wearing.

I banged my head once against a nearby wall, “Okay, time to get ready to get this over with.”

Before I knew it I was watching Dean pull up and park near my apartment as I walked to the meeting building.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your car?”

“Only every time you see her,” Dean fell into stride beside me.

“I thought we were gonna meet there.”

Dean grabbed my hand, “And how would that look, the boyfriend not escorting his very important girlfriend into an extremely dangerous crowd?”

“Fair point,” I squeezed his hand, smiling softly to myself.

The door squeaked as we opened it, giggling at nothing.

“Glad you love birds could join us.” Chuck sat at the front of the room, looking rather impatient.

I took my place, Dean beside me, and nodded soberly.

“Let’s begin.”

Naomi stepped forward, “Of course, sir. I have some things that need to be looked-”

“I don’t care about that,” Chuck waved his hand as he cut her off.

It took everything in me not to laugh.

“Some of my… sources, have told me that Doctor Hess wants to make a deal with me.”

There was a couple beats of silence before Meg got brave, “Uh, and who is that?”

“The leader of the Lettermen, obviously.”

The room erupted in laughter.

“Letterboys? Really?”

“Yes,” Chuck snapped at us, trying to shut us up, “and Y/n is going to set it all up.”

That sobered me up quickly, “Pardon?”

“You are going to set up the deal. You’re gonna be our middle man.”

I felt my insides shrivel. What he means is that I’ll be the scapegoat.

“Sir, I’d like to accompany her on this assignment if you don’t mind,” Dean said as he took a half step forward.

“I do mind. Starling will be working this alone, directly with me.”

“But sir-”

I placed a hand on his arm, “Dean.” I shook my head, telling him it wasn’t worth it.

He set his jaw and didn’t press any further.

“So, It’s settled then,” Chuck clapped his hands together once, “that’ll be all, you’re dismissed.”

I glanced at Naomi who looked annoyed at not getting her business done, but she wasn’t brave enough to get snapped at again.

It wasn’t much time later when me and Dean were walking back, alone again.

“Why did you do that?”

“Dean-”

“Why did you stop me from pairing up with you?”

“Because, you were doing a great job at being a loving boyfriend, but I also told you not to be stupid. What you were about to do was incredibly stupid.”

“So you’re gonna do it alone?!” Dean sounded angry, I wasn’t exactly sure why.

I turned to face him, “Yeah, I am! I’ve done stuff like this before, and I’ll have to do it again! But do you understand what this means for us??”

“No, I don’t.”

I grabbed him by the shoulders, “We can do something with this… Maybe I can…”

“We can do some sort of sting operation,” Dean quieted down like he was understanding.

“Exactly! I’ll set something up, I’ll feed you all the information...” I nodded my head, “we can do this.”

“Fine,” he turned and started walking again, “you’re still going to be doing most of this alone though.”

“Don’t worry Dean, I won’t mess it up.”

I thought I heard Dean mumble something, but I didn’t ask what it was. The rest of the walk was quiet until we reached where his car was parked.

I ran my hand along her, looking for scratches that didn’t exist.

“Stay safe, alright? I can’t be losing you now, Angel.”

“I will, don’t you worry Hot Shot.” I smiled at waved as he started her up and drove away.

Let’s cut to me probably doing something stupid, but it is the fastest way to get stuff done in these situations.

“I think you’re on the wrong side of town, ma’am.” A group of boys approached me as I walked a quiet street, deep in Lettermen territory.

I sighed, “You’re probably right, but I also heard through the grapevine that a Doctor Hess wants to make a deal. That ring any bells?”

They all glanced at each other before one addressed me, “Stay here.”

I leaned against a nearby building, choosing not to answer him vocally.

After a while, a man closer to my own age approached me.

“Doctor Hess?”

He laughed, “No, my name is Mick Davies. I’m more of a spokesperson. And I’m assuming you’re not Chuck.”

I smiled back at him, both of us keeping our distance, “Yeah, you wish. It’s Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

His smile dropped into a more serious expression, “You are correct when you mentioned a deal. Details are still in need of some finalizing, of course, but the basics are, if you share with us some of your… resources that we hear you have, helping us get on our feet, we’ll give you a part of the profits and keep our boys on our side of the line.”

“Intriguing...” This could be big. If I played my cards right, I could maybe bring down the mobs on both sides of the city. Now to play some cards… “If we come to an agreement of terms, Chuck wants a face to face settlement to seal the deal.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” He pulled out a card from his pocket, “My contact information, so we can work out the details before the deal.”

I stepped forward and took it, “Well, it’s been a pleasure, hope I see the least amount possible.”

“Likewise.”

And like that we both turned and went out opposite directions.

That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Maybe this will be easy.

But now to convince Chuck.

“They want the sealing of the deal face to face or it won’t happen.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Maybe this will be easy.

Now to tell Dean the good news!

“Dean, call me back.”

“Dean, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Hot Shot, if you don’t answer this damn phone I swear I’m not going put this meeting up.”

Why was this not easy.

The meeting was set. It was to happen in an isolated location just outside of town, two weeks away. Chuck was going to bring the goods, loads of weapons and drugs. I had to be there to back Chuck up, as I’m sure Mick would be there to do the same for this Doctor Hess.

“Dean, I sent the information to your phone, please be there with as many men as possible. From your old job, just to be safe.”

I wanted to actually talk to him. I shouldn’t want that. I’ve gotten too close. It doesn’t matter anymore though. He’s stopped talking to me mid job. The worst case scenario is that I somehow get found out and killed. The absolute best case scenario is that everyone goes to jail except me. The one I was fearing most though was the one where I never see Dean again. Unfortunately there were a bunch of options where that happens.

I kept telling myself that it was just a job to him. That this would benefit him. That he would never want to associate with someone from the mafia in normal circumstances.

Maybe going to jail would be good for me.

My phone rang with an unknown number popping up on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey Angel, sorry, I broke my phone.”

“God dammit!” All that worrying for nothing. All the stress that he was somehow dead or leaving me to deal with Chuck by myself. Wasted.

“What?”

“I have been trying to reach you all day. I got the meeting set up, its in two weeks. I’ll send you the place. Both Chuck and Doctor Hess are going to be there with a metric ton of damning evidence in the form of illegal weapons and drugs.”

“That… is awesome!”

“I know right?? I’m gonna need you to bring in all your people.” I soaked it in for a couple of breathes, “I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he’s arrested.”

“You’re not going to be there.” His voice was firm, it was commanding like there was no room for argument.

“Dean...” I spoke regretfully, oh how I wish I could listen to him, “if I’m not there, this all falls apart. This isn’t a personal choice, I have to be there.”

“You could get hurt.”

“Same with every day of my life.”

He sighed, “Fine, but you’re gonna wear a wire so we can communicate.”

“Dean, Chuck may be stupid enough to let you in as a cop, and he may be stupid enough to do this meeting face to face, but he’s not stupid enough-” I paused, “I take that back, he may be that stupid.”

“So it’s settled, you’re going to wear a wire, and I’m gonna bring in all the law enforcement fire power you could ever dream of.”

I laughed, “Deal.”

The meeting came all too quickly. I was wearing a wire, like Dean asked me, but I did not enjoy it, it seemed to be all that was on my mind. Everyone arrived separately. It was decided that I would arrive first and scout out the area, kicking out any lurkers. Then Mick was to show, then the bosses.

Dean was talking in my ear, telling me that they were ready, that anytime now Chuck and Doctor Hess was going to be arrested.

“The profits of the supplies will be split 70/30 right?” Chuck was chatting with Doctor Hess, me and Mick farther out.

Hess huffed, “That’s hardly enough to cover our other expenses, 50/50 split.”

“Come on Doc, there has to be something in it for me, 60/40.”

Her stare was withering, but Chuck was always an idiot, “Fine.”

They shook on it and Chuck directed her to the product a little ways away.

“Chopper is coming in to get eyes, then we’ll fall in,” Dean said.

I hummed discretely to tell him I heard and started to glance around the dark sky, supposedly looking for stars.

Eventually the helicopter flew in with a spotlight shining down on us.

“Finally,” I spoke out loud, glad this was going to be over.

But I might have spoken a bit too loudly since Chuck pulled out a gun, “You bitch!”

I faced him, my arms crossed against my chest, “Been called a lot worse you motherfucker.”

“FBI! Drop the weapon!” Dean was at the front of the group in an FBI vest, aiming his gun at Chuck. The rest of the agents surrounded the area and quickly started arresting Hess and Mick.

Chuck hesitated, but in the end he shot at me. I tried to move quickly but he still grazed my shoulder. Chuck looked like he wanted to shoot me again, but Dean took two shots before he could, one to the hand holding the gun and another to his leg, effectively making him drop the gun and fall to the ground. Dean directed a couple of agents to Chuck while he ran over to me.

“Man, you really are a hot shot Hot Shot.” I laughed as I pressed a hand against my shoulder.

“I can’t believe you just stood there as Chuck aimed a gun at you. That is so dangerous,” he made sure I was comfortable before he called for a medic.

“Chuck isn’t that great with precision weapons, look, he just grazed me!” I laid my clean hand on his arm, “Thank you. This means so much to me, I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

The medics came and started to push Dean back so she could get to me.

“You helped get Sam out, how ‘bout we stay in touch and we’ll call it even?”

I nodded, “You got it Hot Shot.”

“They’ll take good care of you, Angel.”

Best Buds: @kitkatd7​ @snarky--starky​ @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog ​ @kaogasm​

Dean: @akshi8278​ @msmarvelouswinchester

TMAS: @flamencodiva

#dean x reader #cop!dean #mafia!reader #spncreatorsdaily #Girl Next Door's Make Me Feel Bingo #make me feel bingo #fbi!dean #dean winchester #crack #tell me a story 3

[iwannaholdyoutight-]

Pintaga (a summer fic challenge)

Fresh fruit. Friends to lovers. Longing.

a/n: it’s finally here! This piece of writing couldn’t happen without the one and only @helladirections. She organized this amazing challenge and you guys should read everything from her and this challenge. Please, don’t forget to reblog, this is my first fic in a very long time and I would love to see people reading it.

word count: 8k

Preview:

In the air Harry could smell the jasmines, coming from the perfume of the girl with the blue heart shaped sunglasses and dressed with a yellow one piece with little white flowers sewed to it - a vintage piece she got just the day before on a thrift shop when they were exploring. He could listen to the faint Mick Jagger voice repeating the verse “pretty pretty girl” and he couldn’t disagree, she was a pretty girl indeed.

There was nothing he wanted more than get her in his arms, tell her he didn’t know it was possible to fall in love without even kissing the person for a first time. He wanted to press his nose into her neck and feel the shivers that would pass through her body.

When Harry had to postpone his tour, he was sad. But, when 2021 finally came, he was just so happy to be able to reconnect with his fans. To see people’s faces and knowing that each person has their own story to tell when they listen to his songs. He loves that. 

It was during tour that he met Angelino, a new music producer with very different methods in his technique: zither in a mix with glam rock, alfaias with hip hop. To put it short: they became fast friends when they met on a night out after the Vegas show. 

And it was thanks to Angelino he met her. It was raining so much when the words left his friends mouth “I want you to meet someone” yet she was the sunshine walking inside the hotel. 

She wasn’t shy but also didn’t do everything to draw any attention to her. Harry was captivated to say at least. Maybe was her smile or maybe was the way she looked with such care when taking to anyone. Sadly, they couldn’t see each other for longer than a few hours. Harry had a plane to catch, she was a movie and arts major in Italy and was only there to visit a friend. But Harry just couldn’t let her go, there was something about her, he wanted to know what was hidden behind those colorful outfits she wore and all the smart talk they had during that same rainy afternoon. Being in his position he had to be careful, what he would give to be “normal” for just 5 minutes so he could flirt with this cute girl, get her number and maybe ask her on a date. But he wasn’t. So he settled with an Instagram follow and a promises she would dm him books and movies he should check it up. 

The first book she made him read was Dorian Gray - she was shocked to know he never read anything by Oscar Wilde. In exchange he tried to make this curious stubborn girl give Murakami a second chance (she still hates the book and he couldn’t lie, he got a bit sad about it). 

After a few months of conversation he finally gave in and asked for her number. From this day on, they would never stop texting each other, to the point Jeff would complain about how “he’s always on his phone and never actually listening”. 

He got so close to her and was admired with how free she was. After 20 something years stuck in her hometown she decided she wanted to met the world. Entered this course in Italy with a scholarship (she is very smart to the point it Harry is intimidated) and never looked back. 

Harry told her about his first big break up, that inspired Fine Line, told her about his fears and how love is a difficult subject when it comes to him. The loving part it’s easy the problem is when the enchantment dies and all there is left are two broken people. The one to move on first it’s always the happiest. 

But he couldn’t always live on his phone talking to this girl who makes him weak in the knees. He had interviews to attend and shows to perform. When tour finally ended, he was tired but sad, a deep space in his heart felt so empty. It’s the first time in three years he didn’t have nothing planned and he was only starting his new album in a few months. 

Harry needed a break, a nice holiday. Sadly London was cold and so was his emotions. So, when that same girl told him about this island called “Fernando de Noronha” around the South American continent and that her aunt got a house there and asked if he wanted to join her on 10 days trip there… he just couldn’t say no! 

It’s summertime whenever she is around and well… it is summertime in the south so it’s a win win for Harry, honestly. 

🐠

And that’s where Harry finds himself right now… bathing in the sun together with this amazing girl that makes him feel all mushy inside and nervous. He is almost a 30 year old man, he shouldn't be so nervous around her, but it’s inevitable. 

The moment he got off the plane, he was in love. The island was beautiful. Blue skies that mix with the blue of the ocean and the horizon. Everything seemed to be made out of glitter and rainbow colors. There was music every night, people were singing and dancing. During the day there was street fairs, boat rides and the beautiful golden light that was didn’t come only from the sun, but also a light that shined through this amazing young woman when she was laughing and trying (and failing) to play volleyball with a group of teens on the beach. They didn’t stay in a fancy hotel, they were in a simple yet beautiful house, without any neighborhood but when they went out they always went to the simplest places, surrounded by simple people. People who might know who he was, but mostly just didn’t care. Sure, he was asked to take some pictures but that was the most normal he ever felt since he was a teenager. There was a rich part in the island, lots of famous people from South America liked to spend their summer there- but for one, Harry was grateful to stay like this. 

All thanks to her...

The summer breeze in his face being exactly what he needed. He was living those sweet days of summer he was denied in 2020 because of the pandemic and in 2021 because of the tour. 

In the air Harry could smell the jasmines, coming from the perfume of the girl with the blue heart shaped sunglasses and dressed with a yellow one piece with little white flowers sewed to it - a vintage piece she got just the day before on a thrift shop when they were exploring. He could listen to the faint Mick Jagger voice repeating the verse “pretty pretty girl” and he couldn’t disagree, she was a pretty girl indeed. 

There was nothing he wanted more than get her in his arms, tell her he didn’t know it was possible to fall in love without even kissing the person for a first time. He wanted to press his nose into her neck and feel the shivers that would pass through her body. 

He wanted to kiss her and keep her forever by his side so they could be happily ever after. But Harry couldn’t. He was bad at love and he would rather have her as a friend than doing something and fucking up her as well.

“What did you say” she asked while lifting up from the towel she had on the floor, raising her sunglasses over that beautiful sun kissed hair (it was shining so much) and attentively looking at him. 

“I didn’t say a thing” was he thinking out loud? Oh my god… he is fucked if that was that case. 

“You said something about being bad at love. Why do you think that?”

Harry sat down and took a deep breath. 

“I talked to you about my love life before… I don’t think I was made for love. Some people can find love at every corner, but it doesn’t matter how hard I try, every time I think I got it right… the person just vanish out of the tips of my fingers. And I feel so bad talking about this when I know I can have anything I want, but it hurts when I’m alone in a bedroom or I’m being the third wheel again with my friends. I’m just so lonely all the time and every time I try… it just ends shitty. I get a few good songs out of it but the pain sometimes it’s just not worth it”. 

She looked at the ocean, the sun was already so high in the sky, it was probably around 11 am. Then, looking back at Harry, she gave him a weak smile. She felt like he was a mixture of everything good and he didn't deserve to feel like he wasn’t cut for love. If she could and he let her… she would give him all the love it was possible and impossible. 

“Just because it ended doesn’t mean it was bad. If it made you happy, even if just for one second, it was worth it. And even when it hurts, we always learn something.” She took a deep breath, waiting for him to say something while Harry just looked at her with soft eyes but so much sadness and sorrow behind them. He didn’t know what to say, so she decided to continue: “you know, I call it bullshit when poets say love is only good if it hurts. Love isn’t made for pain, sometimes it might happen, but love is made to give warmth and to make the soul feel like it’s being caressed in a whisper that says ‘you found me’. And there are many types of love, not all of them are made to last a lifetime”. 

He gave her a smile: 

“Do you think there is still someone to love me or have I missed my chance?” 

That was her chance: 

“I think if you look right… you will find it right next to you, so close it would surprise you” she gave him a knowing look and decided to change the subject “wanna put on some clothes and go to the street fair? We can have lunch in there, buy some nice fresh fruits and have a picnic when the sun starts to set. You can make a playlist while a set a nice towel with candles and everything we might need. Maybe… we could try some of that stuff I got yesterday, what do you say?” 

That stuff being the Argyreia seeds a friend of her had given as a gift. They were in the fridge inside a pot of water - apparently you have to leave them at least 12 hours on it so it could be ready to use. Among the effects they found of Google you could suffer from synesthesia episodes, positive elevation of your humor, sensitive to touch among others. A normal (and legal, apparently) natural hallucinogen. 

Harry decided to play cool with her confession (he thinks it was a confession) and just smirks at her as a confirmation for the rest of their day. Maybe then, he’ll have the courage to kiss her. He gets up first, offering his hand, she takes it, getting up. Being barefoot, she had to look up to talk to him, their hands intertwined, noses almost touching. Looking inside his eyes, she thinks Harry must be a magical being, that could be the only explanation to how his eyes could change color to match the nature. Normally green but right now his eyes were almost blue, maybe was the sun, maybe was the sky without a single cloud; one thing was clear: his eyes were matching the ocean and the sky but also the leaves on the palm trees with the green left in them. 

Leading the way, they got inside the house. In a secluded area (you just had to walk a lot but it wasn’t in the middle of the fancy big mansions- the house was colorful - just like everything about this island). The wood backdoor was the way they go when coming back from the beach . As soon as they entered through the gate, was a little stone way, with red and pink poppies adorning both sides, they went to the shower the house had on the outside so none of them would make a mess inside the house with sand everywhere. Then, I sei de the house, walking through the open plan kitchen, that was out of a sixties movie. Almost everything looked vintage with the most beautiful dining table they had ever seen: made out of dark wood and tall chairs, her aunt said this table was from her great grandmother. 

Then there was two little steps and it was the living room, with a lot of space, three couches and a lot of pieces of art, it looked like someone had just throw different items but, somehow made it work. Harry went to sit on a plastic chair there was right in the corner of the room and looked at the very wet very sunburnt girl:

 “You can go get ready first, I’ll wait” she smiled and thanked him, going upstairs and leaving Harry alone with his thoughts. Looking at the yellow wall full of paintings from the people of the island, he didn’t know what to do to himself, he was fucked. He got up from the chair and went to the vinyl player that stood on the far left of the living room with three boxes next to it, opening he found a lot of vinyls. Settling for one he never heard before: Caetano Veloso - Transa, he put to play. He knew about Caetano, he even putted one of his songs to play at the one night only event, the name of the song was Baby and at the time was his ex girlfriend who had showed him, but right now the only thing he could think about when listening to this very psychedelic song that was playing through the speakers, the only thing he could think about is the same girl who is taking a shower just a few feet away and how much he wants the hours to pass faster so they can get high and listen to the playlist he was making and was to add also this album he was listening, especially after a quick google research about it, having now the acknowledge that transa translates to sex. 

She came downstairs with her hair still wet, wearing her old pink converse and a yellow sundress, with the cute straps and a short but very loose ends. She had this glow someone can only achieve when you just spend the day at the beach with dear ones. Free of any makeup she was with his ray bans and gave him a soft look “I hope you don’t mind I got your ray bans to wear. They just look they were made for this outfit”. 

“No problem. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be done”. 

Taking the fastest shower he ever took in his life, he put on some old jeans short and his favorite pink summer shirt. And he ran - literally ran - downstairs because he felt like this was a date. He was excited. 

“So, wanna take the bikes or see if we can get an Uber” there was this thing, neither one of them had the license required for the island and even if the Uber app worked there… it was hard to find drivers who were willing to drive to such a far area. 

“Let’s take the bikes. They have baskets so whatever we buy we can just carry back” 

“Sure”  

They went through the front door, the house was painted in blue, to match the ocean, with lots of different plants and those same plants, especially the clambering plants, gave the house this almost fairy vibe. Like it was made of a golden and rainbow dust and everything that it’s good. The bikes were located near the wall and close to the small pool. One bike was white and the other was of a bright orange. Harry got the bright one because it was slightly bigger, so he would feel more comfortable. 

🍓

They rode the bike for around 10 minutes, passing fields and trees that were so tall it almost felt like their leaves were kissing each other. Harry kept ruming gold and braid by stevie nicks the whole ride while dividing his attention between the girl riding the white bike a few meters ahead and the surrounding area. There was no one in sight for the first few minutes, but the closer they got to the center of the island, more people started to appear. In a few days living in the island  he already observed that he could pinpoint who was a tourist and who was a native by one thing: the clothes. 

The citizens always dressed like it was just a normal day (like imagine you normal day it’s living in paradise) and people from the outside always went out like it was a beach party everyday. As soon as Harry notice that, he always made sure to dress quite simple, so people could pass him by. Of course, sometimes someone would try and talk to him with the native language (which he learned is portuguese and not spanish, as he originally thought it would be). 

They descarted their bikes on a small wall that was made for this purpose, with digital locks and everything (it was 5 bucks the hour and all you had to do when it was the time to pick it up you just put on your card to pay for the time you used the spot). They started to walk towards the street fair that was in a pretty street with old houses from the colonial era. The more they walked, closer their bodies touched and closer they were from holding hands. 

People never talk about the conversation that goes when it comes to small touches. Sometimes, a small caress of a finger against someone's hand, it’s more than the act of touching, it’s an act of questioning: are we feeling the same? I wanna hold you hand like my soul it’s holding yours, please take care of it, because it’s your to take. 

They started holding hands the moment the took a turn to the street fair, and if anyone looked at them, would say there were a couple. And it was nothing more that their entire wish that that statement was actually truth.

In the window of a red brick house there was an old man with his guitar, he sung something of their culture and a few people were dancing to it like it was a show. Harry was so in love with this environment, people lived and breathed culture. It was a break he never needed. He already went all around the world and it was on a simple island that he found something he didn’t know it existed.

“Where do you want to go first?” Asked the girl looking up at him and squirting her eyes because of the sun. She had his sunglasses but they were acting more like a headband to that mess it was her hair than to their actual function: protect her shining beautiful eyes from the sun. 

“How about we go and buy those fruit for our late evening picnic and then we go have lunch? And from there we see where to go”.

“Seems like a plan, let’s find the vendor with the most variety of fruits, wanna taste them all” And I wanna taste you, thought Harry but he just accepted it wasn’t the time yet. He didn’t want their first kiss to be in the middle of a fair with so many eyes watching. Harry hasn’t been recognized too much but he couldn’t risk too much. 

Walking they passed a group of old ladies - like maybe in their 80s- selling beautiful handmade dresses and skirts and shirts, all made in white lace. Such a beautiful work, and Harry made a mental note to come back later and get something for his mother and sister. That was something they would like. 

Finally they reached a wooden table full of different fruits and behind it was an older and a younger man, if they had to guess, they would say there were grandfather and grandchild because of their faces similarities: dark skin with very powerful green eyes. While one had the blackest hair either one of them had see, the other one had silver strings in different parts of his hair. In their mouth they carried a soonting smille. They approached the table and the older one started to talk in the native language and he was speaking in such a enthusiastic manner that Harry didn’t have the heart to explain he new close to nothing about portuguese. But the young man seemed to have noticed who he was, touching the talking fella head and saying something in his ear. He stopped talking and was, now, quiet, but never ending the smile in his face. 

“Sorry about that. My name is Sol. What can I do for you guys?” The girl beside Harry gave him this shining smile and started talking:

“Hi, Sol.That means Sun right?” 

“Yeah, my family it’s a very hippie family. Actually I have two sisters: one it’s called Lua, her name translates to ‘moon’, and the other it’s called Frida. By the way,if it’s not too much problem Mr. Styles, I would like to get an autograph for them, they are big fans of you. And what about your name, sunshine?” asked the young man. Harry was jealous he was flirting with her - and he wasn’t entitled to feel jealous, but that’s what he was feeling - so he put his arms around her and told her name getting an angry yet amused look from her. 

“And no problem about the autograph… we would like to take a bit of everything you can recommend us. We are going to do a picnic and want to try everything that it’s different”.

“But please add a bit of those gorgeous strawberries, they look yummy”said the girl next to him “ and what it’s that?” she pointed to a pink yet green round fruit. 

“That is pink mango, very famous around this island. She is sweeter than the normal ones you found, actually there are over 24 different types of mango around the south territory, but right now we only have this one. But we’ll be getting more around monday morning if you guys are interest.” He gave them a time to think if they wanted to buy it or not.

“I love mango. Put 3 of these, please.” Harry said giving a genuine smile, everybody knows how much he loves fruit… among other stuff that could be fruit related. He saw a small fruit, that looked like a cherry but it had this red/orange to it’s tone and it wasn’t completely round, so he asked: “Sol, what is this type of cherry?”

“Oh that one? That it’s pitanga. This fruit smells like trees and something sweet that takes you back to your childhood, if you lived on this island” he laughed like he was remembering a distant memory inside of his green eyes but continued soon afterward his little journey through memory lane “My mother used to say this fruit it’s like when you fall in love at first sight: first comes the infatuation, the smell that reminds you there is so much good in the world and all of the good is all in one person. Then, when you first bite to it, first it has a sour taste, like when you get insecure about first kissing someone, but they, you get the courage and kisses them… and it’s amazing and sweet.” 

Well Harry didn’t need more and said:

“Give me 12 strawberries, a few limes so we can make drinks, those mangos,a bit of that gelly that looks yummy, and half  a pound of those pitangas”

“All done. That is going to be 25 and 75 cents” Both Harry and the girl tried to pay the guy, in the end, she ended up paying, earning a glare from Harry and looking at him like saying ‘what’. The boy returned with the change and the piece of paper for the autograph, Harry signed told him he would be back monday morning to get those other types of mangos and he could bring his sisters if he wanted to,he would gladly meet the girls. 

They said their goodbyes and continued their walking, now holding hands without questioning. 

“You know out of all those fruits the one I’m more excited to taste it’s this pitanga one” she told Harry. 

“Me too”

He knew she was talking more than just the fruit.

And so was him. 

With the sound of ocean and the winds in a mix with people chatter, they walked through the fair. Stopping for a quick lunch (some natural sandwiches with coconut water to wash it down) they looked around a vintage music store.

“It’s getting late, I wanna go back to the house if you don’t mind… get some sleep so I’m not tired when it’s time for our little luau” she said looking at him with tiresome eyes “oh maybe I’ll dress like a little witch!!!! So we can perform a little moon ritual”

That put a smile in Harry’s face. 

“You know Stevie would actually love this”

“I can’t help getting a bit starstruck every time you mention Stevie Nicks”  

“I get starstruck every time I remember that I’m actually her friend... it’s inevitable, she is a legend and an amazing human being”

They were walking and talking about Stevie Nicks and Harry was telling her all about the first time Stevie listened to Fine Line and by the time they got close to their bikes. Just like yesterday, Harry was ready to pay for their bikes parking lot but she was not having it. He was always paying for every little thing (the first time she got to pay anything was the fresh fruits just a few hours ago). So she looked at him when he was lost looking at the turquose sea and just ran away towards the bike.

She heard his scream- a soft loud HEY - and just when she was reaching for the bikes she felt two arms wrap around her waist and pull her out of the way. But they both lost their balance, falling towards the wall of bricks next to the bikes. Her head hit the wall a little bit to harshly makig her let out a low “oh” all that while he crushed her into the same wall. 

Puting his hand in fits next to her face, Harry took his face off and lowered to be abble to look at the pretty girl in the eyes. He noticed she was standing on her toes to get closer to him, if he took a deep breath he could smell her perfume, a mix of peach and tangerine. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had never been as close to her as he were now. Harry was abble to see how beautiful eyes eyes were when the sun was high up in the sky and his face too close, he could see how her eyebrows had a thin yet natural draw or how her cupid bow were a little bit more colored than the rest of her lips. He could listen to the wind, bringing a message from the ocean: “it’s time to kiss her, you fool”.

He took her messy hair from her eyes, cradling her face in on hand while the other was kept on the wall, so he could have a sense of what was real. It was the perfect moment. 

Or not. 

Time simply wasn’t on Harry’s side, as he thought. Because someone started to yell at him in a language he couldn’t pinpoint the country, maybe Russia because of how pale was the old couple looked. They were point at the bikes and yelling at them, people were looking and she was blushing. 

“I think they want to park their bikes and we’re on their way” she told him “maybe we should just go home. 

 🍄

The sun was now close to say it’s farewell for the day. While Harry was busy making a nice playlist (and also giving himself a talk: “you are going to kiss her tonight”. Maybe if started to say all the time like a mantra in would come true). She was making the perfect ambience for a beach party for two. Opening in the sand a round beach towel with lots of candles for when the only light in the sky was the moon and stars. The fruits all in pretty plates made out of wood and she also melted dark chocolate - it would look cool with the strawberries. 

The sky was a mix of pretty colors: pink and purple and orange and everything that would make a perfect painting . 

She was using this old seventies skirt from her mother (a tie dye skirt with all the colors of the rainbow) and a Stevie Nicks shirt she stole from Harry the night before to sleep. Her hair was falling from her face, dancing with the wind just as her skirt. 

It was that moment that Harry made his appearance: his safe sex shirt, yellow shorts, barefoot, no rings. Smiling at her, she thought she looked like he looked like a prince out of every seventies groupies fantasies. 

Harry was holding this old radio and in his hand there was a mixtape. Only Harry would come up with the idea of using this old radio that her aunt left at the house as a source for playlist making. Spotify playlist just wasn’t enough if he wanted impress her. In the words of his friend Rob Sheffield: “mixtapes are like pictures but with sound”. 

And Harry was planing of making this evening a picture he would always remember with lovin’ care. 

“Doesn’t he looks handsome” she walked towards him to help him with settled everything he brought down. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was blushing. 

“The seeds are ready if we want to try it now” Harry said changing the subject. 

“Let’s go. It takes half an hour to kick and till then we can talk some more” 

 The seeds didn’t have any taste, almost like any pill you wash down with water. 

“Wanna eat one of those fresh fruits?” He said getting a piece of de the pitanga “quite anxious to try this one” he said getting one of the small pitanga fruits. 

At first bite it was quite bitter, he was glad Sol had told him about that. But the more he ate, the sweater it got. It was something he couldn’t describe. 

“So what do you think?”  She asked. 

“The explanation that Sol gave to us it’s the best one. It changes taste the more you get used to it. The same is with feelings, right?” 

She smiled at him and opened her mouth: “give me some then….” He got one of the fruits and feed her. But he didn’t take his hands of her, leaving there so he could feel her neck veins move with her chewing. 

“It’s so sweet in the end… almost like an orgasm”. Harry was fucked. 

The time passed and they talked about anything and everything. The sun was almost all the way down as they looked over the horizon. 

“So… is it starting to hit for you? ” she asked with a coy smile while getting herself more of the fruits. 

He saw her red lips curve around the fruit and suddenly everything was changing colors. The world was red as the fruit she was (so deliciously) tasting. Red like the passion he was beginning to feel for this carefree girl. But she... she was golden. Her aura was just shining through her. 

It’s no secret he falls in love with people with golden aura- Stevie has said so herself when he first showed her his second album - and she is shining so much he thought the sun had come down to earth. 

Maybe she was the sun, even if it the stars were starting to take their place high in the sky, she was sunshine. His sunshine. It’s never night when she’s around.

“You know, it’s starting to hit” 

“And how do you know that?” 

“You’re golden” 

She laughed at him

“Are you quoting to me a song you wrote about another woman, Styles?” 

“No. It’s your aura. It’s shining. And is golden” 

That left her with no answer. 

“What about you?”  

“What about me?” 

“Seeing anything?” 

She could see the rainbow inside his eyes. She was always attached to everything that was colorful, from a young age. And right now there was this rainbow of lights playing with her vision. And it was all because of this beautiful young man standing right in front of her. 

“Yeah, I think I can see everything” happy with her mysterious answer, she looked at the ocean. The waves were moving slow and in pretty rhythm, inviting her to dance together. 

Today all of the nature was rooting for them. Getting another pitanga she could feel the sour before the sweet. Giving her body chills. She looked at him and those chills only got stronger but so was her bravery: “will you dance with me?” she asked. 

“Well... of course young maiden I shall dance with you” he laughed at his own joke while getting up and offering his hand. 

In that moment their worlds collided: their hand were glued together seeding all of different feels from one body to another. They didn’t need to talk to understand: there was a feeling of belonging neither of them never felt even if once they thought they did. This was a moment once in a lifetime: the moment you look at someone and you see them slightly different from one minute ago. When all of the puzzles pieces starts to make sense: what they were feeling from the moment they got on this island wasn’t only attraction it was months of friendship that intertwined them towards something stronger. Something they knew it was blooming inside their chest. Something new, something exciting. 

Something beautiful.

He twirled her in his arms and then let her rest her head in his chest, right where his heart was beating so loud and fast, just for her. 

“You know it feels like the world is almost too much right now” Harry heard her say “it seems like there are more sound than before, the ocean is actually a song ya comes together with your heartbeat and when you touch me it feels like there is a more to than just a simple touch, like it’s your souls that’s touching me, you know?” He starts to caress her right arm with the tip of his finger, he wanted her to feel more of whatever this she was describing. “Or maybe that’s just the seeds talking but it just feels like something I never had before” 

God, she looked beautiful right now blushing with all the glitter around her and her lips red from all the fruits. 

It’s time. 

“I wanna taste those pitanga lips. Can I?” He asks while still caressing her arms with the tips of his fingers, getting her dizzy and seeing everything with light tones of pink, just like the shirt he wore to the street fair. She wants so much that in a moment of pure infatuation she raises her hand, feeling his chestnut curls, looking into his green eyes that looked almost a dark blue due to the lighting and finally she answered: 

“Anytime. Everywhere. Anywhere” 

He gave her a soft kind of fucked up smile, getting a good grasp of her hair and pulling her towards his mouth. 

She spent so much of her time wondering how does Harry Styles kisses but nothing could get her ready to what she felt in that moment. His lips were a bit chapped because of the sun and the weather, they both were a bit clumsy because they couldn’t feel their faces but the soft touch of his tongue contrasting with tight grasp he had on her hair was making her body feel like it was part of the sand they were standing while he was the ocean, one doesn’t belong without the other, in a painting they would always be together and if that kiss was any indication... so would be their lives. 

He gave her a small bite on the lips and laughed: “I’m so sorry, I can’t feel my lips” and she started to giggle because she couldn’t feel a lot, but she could feel him. All of him. 

“I’m so glad we finally kissed” she said in a whisper. He looked inside of her eyes before putting his eyes right on her left cheek and flicking his eye lashes while she was having a fit with laughter... everything was too much in their state of mind. And this little touch made her feel like Harry has been tickling her soft skin for hours. 

“If you’re so glad that we kissed...  you wouldn’t mind if we kissed a bit more, right?” He said in a sensual whisper in her ear while giving little bites. 

She pulled him by his hair in a hungry attack. Moaning into his mouth. Sucking his tongue. Smiling when they took small break. 

They were standing, her on the tip of her toes, trying to reach him but Harry had other plans, whispering a small “come here” he took her by the waist and made her jump so he could walk back to the beach towel and sit down with her on his lap. 

With Harry’s hips between her knees, that wasn’t a inch to separate them. All of their bodies were touching and each particle inside of them was screaming in delight. The feeling of having someone near when the mind is in such a state of inebriation was out of this world. It was paradise. 

But maybe their state of mind is just a plus because Harry is pretty sure it could be 10 am on a Sunday and she would make him feel the same way he was feeling now: completely in bliss, in a hypnotic state of mind because of her pitanga lips and the warm energy. She was his sun, his warmth when they would feel could. A little piece of magic after so much pain in love. And Harry couldn’t deny anymore: he was falling. 

She stopped kissing him and decided to give small kisses in his neck and every time he moaned she would increase the strength of this kiss. 

Harry was quite literally seeing stars, but not only the ones in the sky. He was seeing the stars coming together in a show: each constellation was dancing on its own circle of star friends. And there were always changing color: pink, golden, red, silver. 

They were dancing in a celebration because two stars that were meant to be were finally coming together as one. 

That was the moment that Harry decided that he wanted more. He pulled her out of his neck and asked: “I love that you are wearing my old shirt but there is nothing more in this world that I would love more than being able to see you without it. Can I?” 

Her response was clear: raising her hands above her hand, the - now- moonlight caressing her form when Harry took her shirt off. She was perfect, every little thing about her was just so her, from the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra to how she had this little moon necklace and a little citrine stone resting right on her heart. 

He didn’t want to lose more time, he started to give little pecks on her nipples and when Harry heard a moan and a whisper saying “finally” he just went ahead and took the everything he could from her chest inside his mouth while his hand was playing with her right breast and his other hand was supporting her back so she wouldn’t fall off his lap. 

She was seeing stars, she could feel everything and anything. His mouth was powerful, like he knew all the buttons to push and that was only the beginning. Moving her hips in circle movements she started to moan more loudly. Using one hand to pull his hair and grinding faster on his growing dick and finally earning a full on moan from her she took his head of her chest and said “I need you, please take off your clothes” 

She didn’t have to say more. After this they disrobed so fast they didn’t knew they were able. Now, completely naked, she looked at Harry with a mischievous look and went back to his lap, but before she could do anymore than that, Harry stopped her, using his force to manhandle her body to a lay down position “I promise you that I will be inside you in a moment, but first, I need to taste you, I need to hear your moans and know that’s all because of me, all because of my tongue” 

She lost her power to speak but she was pretty sure she kind of screamed “yes” without intending to. 

Harry spread her open and looked at the mess that was between her legs. He did loved tasting the pitanga. But he was pretty sure that nothing would compare to the taste of her. 

He took his finger and started to pass lightly through the inside of her right thigh and she was trembling already “this seeds are making me more sensible fuck” he heard whisper. Smirking he answered her: “oh so this is all the seeds and not me? Pet, you are breaking my heart now”. 

In a revenge he took the same finger that was caressing her thigh and passed from her opening to her clit without any warning. 

“Fuck fuck FUCK please just touch me already. My whole body is burning in flames all I can see is a burning flame” he decided to end her suffering. Taking his thumb and lazily caressing her clit in slow but strong circles. 

“Are you happy now, Pet” 

“Yes but please, give me more” 

In a responde Harry took his tongue and licked her right on her clit and started to use the tip of his finger to tease her entrance. 

Her moans started to get louder and Harry didn’t have a care anymore, just her taste. That’s the only thing that matters. 

While his lips were sucking and licking her clit his finger were working inside of her. When he wanted to change he would put his finger in her clit and would go to her pretty hole and use his tongue to tease her. 

Every time he saw she was getting closer to her orgasm, he would stop what he was doing and would just use the tip of his finger to tease her while he kissed her thigh. When her breathing was back to a more concentrated peace he would get back to give her everything he could with his tongue and finger. 

And that went on for a while: lips, tongue, fingers. Saw her getting close? Stopped for a while. 

When he was doing the pattern for the third time she signed: “I need to come, please let me come?”

 Harry wasn’t doing this to be mean, he just wanted to be the only thing she could feel and see. Wanted this to be so good she would never want to be away from him again. And when he saw her trembling lips and eyes full of tear he new she has enough, so he moved his finger in a “come here” motion while she was wetting and wetting more and more his hand, dripping down to the towel and her screams were so loud that if there was a single soul in the almost private beach, he was sure they could listen. 

When she was done he took his finger off of her linking each one of them while patiently waiting so she could get back to her state of mind and tell him what she wanted next. 

“Hey, there is a condom in the fruit basket” she said 

“You dirty little thing, were you planning all of this?” Harry said taking the condom and opening carefully. 

“No but I had my hopes up” 

She looked so perfect with the sweat on her body dancing around the moonlight, he smiled and asked sweetly: “how do you want me?”

“I want you on top, want to be able to look inside your eyes” He wanted that, too. 

“Your wish is my command” whispered Harry while settling on top of her. He stroked her face with one arm supported beside her hand. “Are you ready for me” She nodded with starry eyes and asked:

“And you, are you ready for me?”

Harry guided himself inside her, getting his mouth closer to her left ear and whispered like it was a secret and she was the only one who had the right to hear: “I have been ready for you my whole life” and then he was inside of her. While she was breathing hard, he was whispering sweet nothing in her ear, trying to calm himself, he wanted this to last.

“You can move, you know” that was all Harry needed to start to pick up his pace, making sure every time he came closer to her his pubic bone would caress her clit. She was whimpering and he was completely hers. 

He picked her leg up on his shoulder and said: “I need…. fuck…. I need to get closer to you”. She was feeling all of him stretching her a little bit more every time he pushed himself inside of her. Hitting her g spot so perfectly she was seeing stars - and this time was all because of him, not the seeds. 

Her body was on fire and the delicious warmth was starting to form in the pit of her stomach. She was going to come again, and she was going to come hard. 

“Come on, baby. I can feel you squeezing me so hard. I know you wanna come. I need to feel it” Harry said, his movements becoming each time more out of rhythm, chasing his own peak. 

Bringing his hand to her clit, it was only three flicks of his fingers till she was shaking and her eyes were closing. Her mouth forming a delicious smile, one full of satisfaction. And it was watching her come that Harry felt his need to come as well. Closing his eyes and feeling his whole body shake with release. 

The only thing surrounding Harry was her. Her name. Her smell. The feeling of her. Everything was her. 

When their breathing was back to a normal rhythm and the moon and stars were high in sky, Harry looked over her naked body laid down on all the towels, surrounded by fruits and  golden from the candle lights. He was starting to sober up and there was so much he wanted to tell her, but he settled for one single sentence: 

“You are a wonderful creation” he told her. 

“Look at you quoting Dorian Gray to me!” She said smiling lightly “Do you remember that was the first dm I ever sent you? Telling you to read that book.” 

“Of course I remember. I remember everything you ever said to me” he started laughing with the memory “you know, after that message I went running to the closest book store? I wanted to do anything to have a reason to talk to you, even if it was just a dm. I wanted you to think of me all the time, because since that moment I saw you on that raining afternoon my heart started to beat in synchrony with yours” now it’s time to say everything, before it’s too late “you know I’m falling for you right?” 

She looked at him like he was the brightest star in the night. 

“I know, I’m falling in love with you too” she told him while laying her her on his chest and started to trace the butterfly tattoo “And now?” 

“Now I think I have a new song about another fruit to write”. They both started to smile, sealing the deal. She got another pitanga and popped into her mouth and he smiled. He was happy.

#harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry x reader #harry styles friends to lovers #summer fic challenge

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

Like A Dream

October 4, 2021

Prompt - Walks in the Forest

Characters - Mack, Brady, Royce, and Bentley

Notes - This takes place in the same "camping with the Birch's AU" as the one I did a couple days ago.

October 4th,

So Mick’s world is weird. They have phones that aren’t connected to the wall, some of their cars don’t have doors, and their music is… interesting. We’ve been here since, I think, Friday. Their world and ours are days apart - give or take seventy years - and it’s still screwing me up a bit. It’s nice to be here, though. I actually like the cabin life so far. Aunt Mack and Uncle Brady are so much nicer than I thought they’d be. It’s like they treat Benny and me like their own kids sometimes, even though they already have Mick. They’re always making breakfast for everyone and spending time with us all. It feels like I’m in one of those TV shows back home where it’s all about family and they treat their kids really well and, even when something bad happens, in the end, they’re all happy. I’m so happy we did this. It’s kind of like a dream.

With a contented sigh, Royce closed his journal and set it under his pillow. Bentley had been up for about five minutes, the smell of cooking bacon being the thing that woke him. Royce, on the other hand, had been awake for the better part of an hour, lounging in bed for the most part before deciding to write a bit. Bentley rose from his bed, finally, stretching until he hit the top bar of Royce’s bunk. The fourteen-year-old pulled himself up, peering over the side of the metal bars so he could see Royce’s face.

“Why are you in bed still?” he asked.

“I should be asking you why you aren’t,” Royce teased, pushing his brother back with a hand to the face. “Mr. I-sleep-until-noon-on-Saturdays.”

Bentley let out a muffled, “Hey!” before dropping himself to the floor again. “I think Auntie Mack is making breakfast again. That’s the only reason I’m awake.”

Royce slid to the end of the bed and climbed down, following Bentley downstairs. “Place your bets, is she making pancakes or waffles? I’m saying waffles.”

“I think pancakes,” Bentley said after thinking for a moment. “We had waffles yesterday.”

“Yeah, but Uncle Brady loves waffles,” Royce stated as they made their way down the stairs to the main floor.

“Good morning, boys!” Brady called from his seat on one of the island barstools. “Are you ready for an adventure today?”

“Are we going swimming in the lake again?” Bentley asked as he perched himself on Brady’s left. A plate of food was placed before him and his brother as Mack turned to see them.

“No,” Mack stated firmly, sending her husband a look as he opened his mouth to speak. “It’s only going to be in the mid-fifties today, so the water will be far too cold for you boys to swim in. I don’t want either of you to end up sick, especially on vacation.”

Brady shut his mouth and nodded, knowing better than to argue with his wife. “Yes, ma’am,” he sighed. “Maybe Wednesday. It’s supposed to be in the seventies.”

“So,” Royce began from his spot on Brady’s other side, “what adventure were you talking about?”

Brady lit up once again, reaching up and placing a hand on each of the boys’ backs. “I figured we could go on a walk in the woods today. There’s a trail just east of the lake that we can take. It leads up to a lookout lodge so we can see the entire area. The view is amazing from up there.”

Mack sighed, leaning against the counter with a small frown. “Brady, as much as I love the idea of walking in the woods for who knows how long, Royce has asthma. I don’t think he should-”

“I can manage!” Royce insisted, cutting the older woman off hurriedly. After realizing his mistake, he paused. “Sorry, Aunt Mack. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

With a smile, Mack reached over and ran a hand over Royce’s hair before leaving it on his cheek a moment. “It’s okay, buddy. You’re excited and I understand that; I just want you to stay safe. I don’t want anything to happen to any of you. Did you bring your inhaler?”

“Miles keeps it for me,” Royce stated matter-of-factly. “If we ask, I’m sure he’ll let me bring it.”

“Bring what?” Miles asked sleepily as he made his way into the kitchen. His hair was a disaster and he was still in his pajamas, making it known to everyone that he was barely awake.

“Royce needs his inhaler so we can go on a walk in the forest with Uncle Brady and Auntie Mack,” Bentley said around a mouthful of eggs.

Miles nodded slowly as Mack handed him a cup of coffee. “It’s in my backpack. I’ll dig it out before you go.”

“You’re not going?” Brady asked.

“Nah,” Miles said with a shake of his head. “Lela wanted to go take pictures of birds so I’m going with her to Curly Creek while Mick and Butch go shopping.”

“Oh, Lela will love that,” Mack claimed with a bright smile. “We’ll miss you guys on the walk.”

“You’ll have fun,” Miles brushed off, waving his hand briefly before picking up his coffee and heading for the lounge to watch TV. Along the way, he ruffled both his brothers’ hair, smiling at them before leaving the room. “Take pictures for me.”

After eating their breakfast, the boys headed for their bedroom, grabbing whatever they deemed necessary for their walk. Backpacks were filled with snacks and water, and the boys were dressed in their usual clothes with an additional, borrowed flannel from Brady. They made their way downstairs not long after they’d laced up their boots, meeting Mack and Brady on the outside porch after grabbing Royce’s inhaler from Miles just in case. Mack was dressed in a long-sleeved, purple shirt with a light, plaid vest over it while Brady donned a light jacket. Brady had a backpack secured over his shoulders and clasped in the front while Mack only had her phone in her pocket and a water bottle in her hand.

A few minutes of walking later, and they reached the beginning of the trail. It was well lit and maintained, with fallen trees and thin logs gracing the sides of the path so it wouldn’t be strayed from. The trees seemed to fill the skies as they began their trek. Large pines, sugar maples, firs, and the occasional birch trees lined the area, sprawling onward as far as their eyes could see. The walk was filled with chatter as they conversed with one another and stopped for the occasional picture. It was truly beautiful. Some leaves had fallen as others were turning colors and, with the sun illuminating them from above, they cast a glow of fiery colors around the area.

While the air had a certain chill to it, the amount of walking they were doing made up for it. The trail, thankfully, wasn’t too much of an incline, just the occasional hill as they walked up the mountain. Now and then, they’d stop to drink, perhaps taking a bit longer to see the streams when they got close enough to see them. All in all, it took almost an hour before they could see the lodge in the distance.

“Look, Royce,” Bentley called from the front of their line, “we’re almost there!”

“Yeah,” Royce huffed before coughing. He hated this. Well, he didn’t hate the nature around them or the journey with his brother, Mack, and Brady, just how his lungs reacted to the walking. There weren’t very many bugs around to bother them or any other people on the trail so there was nothing to complain about apart from his crappy lung capacity.

Brady, who had taken up the rear so he could make sure everyone was safe, placed a hand on Royce’s back. “You need to stop, bud?” Royce shook his head, making Brady knit his eyebrows together. “You sure? It’s fine if you do.”

“I can make it,” the sixteen-year-old exhaled sharply, sucking in another breath. “It’s not-” he paused to cough a few times, “it’s not far.”

“Royce,” Mack began, stopping in her place. Although she sounded firm, Royce could make out the gentleness in her tone, “you’re not sounding good. If you want to stop and use your inhaler, we can. It’s not a problem.”

“I’m fi-” and queue more coughing, “Ugh.”

Bentley peeked around Mack’s shoulder before moving around her and stepping toward his brother. “You’re sweating and you sound all wheezy.”

“It h-hurts.” Royce sucked in a sharp breath, a cough forcing its way out of him as he reached a hand to his chest. Brady began rubbing circles on Royce’s back, the only thing he could think of that would help. After a minute, Royce stopped coughing, allowing Brady to guide him to sit on one of the tree branches that lined the pathway.

Bentley pulled off his backpack and pulled a bottle of water out of it. He handed it to Royce as he crouched in front of him, watching Mack as she sat next to Royce and took one of his hands. “Bentley, honey, where’s Royce’s inhaler?”

“The front pocket,” the youngest answered softly. He turned to his brother and sighed, “I told you when we stopped last time that you should’ve taken it.”

Royce nodded slowly, not wanting to argue as Mack pulled his inhaler from his bag. “Can you take it now or do you need a minute?” she asked him, placing a hand on his arm.

Royce shook his head, fidgeting with the water bottle in his grasp. He gripped the cover and opened it, taking in a choppy, deep breath to steady his hands as he lifted it to take a drink. Afterward, he took his inhaler from Mack and, while it took him two tries to get in any medicine, he’d still been able to get it into him. They sat in relative silence for a few minutes as Bentley knelt on the ground, gripping Royce’s knees, Mack held one of his hands, and Brady rubbed circles over his back. As calming as it was, Royce couldn’t help the embarrassment he felt. He’d been so eager to have fun and get to the lodge that he’d neglected his health and now, apart from Bentley, some people he barely knew, had to take care of him.

“I’m-” he gave a short cough. At least he sounded less wheezy when he breathed. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, baby,” Mack spoke to him. “It’s not something you can control.”

“It is,” he mumbled insistently.

Brady sighed, taking Royce’s water bottle and setting it down before taking hold of the teenager’s hand. “You were excited and weren’t focused on it, that’s all. I would’ve done the same thing. Nobody is going to blame you for being an excited kid.”

Royce spared a glance to either side, seeing nothing but concern and love from Mack and Brady. It was weird. He’d messed up and refused to take his inhaler even though he knew he needed it, why were they being so nice? “Why-Why aren’t you mad?”

Mack and Brady shared a look over Royce’s shoulder “Mad?” Brady wondered aloud. “Of course not. Why would we be?”

Bentley huffed from the ground, picking blades of grass from the path. “Dad was always mad.”

Mack sighed, brushing Bentley’s hair from his face and threading her fingers through Royce’s curls. “We could never be mad at either of you, especially for something like this. We love you both far too much for that.”

“We know you love us,” Bentley said with a smile. “We love you guys.”

“Yeah,” Royce confirmed, clearing his throat before continuing. “What do we do now?”

“Well,” Brady began slowly, “we’ll sit for a few until the albuterol kicks in, and then we’ll make it the rest of the way.”

“We can go now,” Royce stated. “I’m feeling better.”

Mack scoffed lightly, “We do that and Brady will probably carry you to the lodge.”

“I absolutely will,” Brady confirmed. “How about you boys tell us about that book you were reading last night on the couch? The Time Machine, right? By H.G. Wells?”

“Yeah!” Bentley exclaimed, quickly going into a rant on the book, allowing Royce to chime in from time to time as he rattled on.

Now and then, Royce looked to Mack and Brady out of the corner of his eyes, seeing them smiling warmly at Bentley and himself. He could still feel his ears burning with embarrassment but, if he was going to be honest with himself, it felt nice to be taken care of by them. Mack and Brady were so kind and cared for him and Bentley so much more than he could’ve ever expected them to. It was weird, but certainly not unwelcome.

It was times like these that he really did feel like he was in one of those shows back home and he was right; it was like a dream.

#foreveralwaysprompts #writing #writing prompt

[stxrrywildflower]

red cell (2)

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - a break in the case causes spencer to contemplate some things

warnings - mentions of case, cursing

word count ?

note - this part really isn’t that great but i promise part three and maybe four will be a lot better :)

part 1

part 3

you and spencer turned towards gina and mick.

mick tossed a notebook on the table while gina tossed an actual case file.

“this whole town is filled with washed up actors and actresses. i talked to at least ten people who went to or dropped out of acting school. that doesn’t help our theory that the unsub was someone who was desperate to become famous but it never happened,” gina revealed.

the four of you stood around, each in your own thoughts about the case.

“well i’m going to head down to the police station to talk to jonathan and sam. figured i should bring this information to the other team as well,” mick piped up.

“i’ll go too,” spencer added on.

mick soon left to go get the car while spencer gathered the scattered papers on the table. “i should go,” he spoke.

“bye spencer,” you smiled. he waved one final time before heading towards the stairs and exiting the room.

you kept a smile to yourself as you went over to one of the computers set up, wanting to look at the crime scene photos one more time.

“oh my god,” gina gasped. your eyes darted up at your friend in front of you. “what?” you quickly asked. “you think he’s cute!” she explained. you rolled your eyes but a blush managed to creep to your cheeks.

“you do!” she practically squealed.

“i mean how could you not,” you simply responded. gina scoffed jokingly, “some of us are already in a relationship.”

you shot a grin at her before going back to typing on your computer.

spencer and mick entered the police station. the team quickly turned to the two as they entered the conference room. “there’s a ton of people in this town who failed out of becoming famous,” spencer announced.

mick went on to talk about his findings to everyone. spencer, meanwhile, went over to the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup and adding sugar. derek sauntered over, leaning against the table and looking at the younger agent.

“so how’s y/n,” morgan practically smirked.

spencer continued to stir his coffee, “what do you mean?” morgan chucked slightly. “come on pretty boy, i saw how you two looked at each other. don’t act like you didn’t blush when she mentioned reading your papers.”

spencer rolled his eyes. “i’ve known her for literally four hours,” the genius spoke. “well you know what they say, love at first sight,” with that, morgan moved so he was sitting at the table, not before sending spencer a wink.

....

in the next three days, the red cell and bau team had barely any leads. no new bodies were found making it difficult to narrow down the suspect pool.

the local cops were becoming increasingly frustrated resulting in lack of help to the two teams. instead of doing their meetings at the police station, everyone has decided to meet back at the red cell base.

there, everyone was doing different things.

jonathan and mick were typing away at the computers, desperately trying to find out anything more they could. hotch, sam, and rossi were standing around one of the tables. gina and j.j. were looking at the victims, trying to find a physical connection between the victims while emily and derek were looking at the bulletin board. finally, you and spencer were sitting on top of the main table. he was drumming his fingers as his eyes darted over the crime scene photos. you, on the other hand, were reloading your gun and sharpening your knives.

sam has told you earlier that he may need you to go out on the streets and get information. you wanted to be prepared.

the phone ringing on the table snapped everyone out of their thoughts. the phone was only for emergencies, not used for tip lines or cell phones. even garcia knew not to call the number. you hesitantly leaned forward and pressed the ‘answer button’.

“hello?” hotch spoke.

“i want to talk to agent y/n,” the unidentified voice on the other end replied. your face visibly paled. you look toward sam, who nodded simply. you leaned forward slightly. “i’m here.”

“may i ask, what’s the closet weapon to you on your left? don’t bother lying, i can already see it,” the man on the other end said.

your eyes darted to the left where on a workbench, layed a modern day battle axe. it was a sleek black color, with extra bars connecting the spike to the handle, almost like the one they used in the hunger games movies. “it’s an axe,” you spoke tentatively.

“perfect. meet me at the square off of south street in one hour. if not, the girl goes,” presumably the unsub on the other end informed you.

once again, hotch stepped in. “girl? what girl?” he asked. the unsub, however, ignored his question.

“i want to fight against agent y/n and here are the rules. you get that axe and only that axe. if you bring anything else, the girl dies. if your team shows up, the girl dies. are you begining to sense a common theme here? but alas, there is a silver lining. if you win, my partner let’s the girl go. and even if i win and manage to kill you first, the girl still gets let go. regardless, it’s a win-win for your team. one hour agent y/n, don’t be late,” with the unsub’s final taunt, the line went dead.

you jumped off of the table and moved over to the workbench. you grabbed the axe, tossing it between your hands, trying to ignore the two teams arguing slightly. you then went over to the sharpener, slowly moving the blade back and forth to sharpen it.

once you were done, you looked at everyone in the room. unsurprisingly, sam was the first one to speak up, “y/n we can’t have you go.” you shook your head. “i don’t show, the girl dies. i’ll be fine,” you replied.

“this guy is asking you to verse him with an axe. you can’t just do that,” hotch’s exclaimed.

you held your hand out as to make everyone stop talking. you looked forward at the target in front of you. as you narrowed your eyes at the target, the room quickly fell silent. one hand was up, pointing at the bullseye that stood 25 feet away, while the other was clutching the axe at your side.

after taking a three-step approach, with all your strength, you launched that axe at the target. a satisfying crack echoed as the axe hit the bullseye, cracking the target.

you slightly smirked to yourself before making your way over to the practically destroyed target and pulling the axe from it, wood falling to the ground as you did so. “still don’t think i can do this?” you asked as you turned around to face the teams.

everyone’s expressions varied, mostly looking shocked. except for spencer who was smiling and mouthed a ‘woah’ at you. you subtly winked at him before placing the weapon back on the table.

for the next 45 minutes, you went over your orders from hotch and sam as well as sparred with morgan. you were to first, try and talk the unsub down, and second, fight. obviously, you weren’t supposed to kill the man if you didn’t have to, but instead injure him. morgan had ran though different scenarios with you. everyone in the room knew you didn’t really need them, but it was good practice, none the less.

finally, it was time for you to go. you took off your jacket, leaving you in a white t-shirt, jeans, and your combat boots. the axe was strapped to your thigh with an easy holster that would allow you to remove it quickly. you quickly styled your hair so that it wouldn’t be in your face.

you turned to spencer, who seemingly hadn’t moved from where he was sitting. “good luck,” spencer spoke as he held up his hand in a fist. “at least look like you’re going to see me again,” you replied with a slight smile, bumping your fist against his. with that, you exited the room and began your short walk to the square.

all the two teams could do was wait, fully geared up and watching on computer screens. the second the fight went south for either of you, they would be at the square. the quality of the video was surprisingly well for the square being in such a secluded part of the city.

derek and gina made eye contact quickly before making their way over to where spencer stood, towards the back of the room but close enough to watch the screens. “so kid, you going to ask her out when she gets back?” morgan asked with a smirk. “you two would practically be perfect for each other,” gina added.

“really? i mean she’s a textbook badass and then i’m just me,” spencer replied, laughing slightly.

“so what kid? opposites attract.”

spencer turned to morgan, slapping him on the shoulder. “ouch!” morgan exclaimed. “what? you insulted me,” spencer responded. the older agent rolled his eyes. “whatever kid.”

“yeah she does look like the classic confident and bold agent but she’s it’s really just an act. she is one of the most kind and genuine people i have ever met. just know reid, she’s into you too,” gina told him before walking away.

spencer sat, mouth slightly open. you liked him too? the two of you had known each other for all of four days. but morgan’s words slowly creeped into the back of his mind. the genius shook his head before moving to stand in front of the monitor which was about to display the fight.

#criminal #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #david rossi

[deathloveshischicagopizza]

Oops?

Hey! So! I’m not dead! Surprised? Me too!

This story was written for my good friend @comfortably-chaotic-mind -  I love them, please go follow them and read whatever they post. Some ColdFlash written just for you, buddy, since I know I haven’t written much...and this is honestly kind of garbage and not in any way explicitly ColdFlash until the end, and I might eventually continue it in a real story (probably not). But anyway! Good job with school! Here you go!

Oops? a ColdFlash Fic for @comfortably-chaotic-mind - 4700 words

“Allen.”

He glanced up, fingers pausing their furious typing but still hovering over the keys. “Yeah?”

“There’s some guy at the door, says he knows you.”

Barry’s brow scrunched. “Who?”

His roommate shrugged. “Didn’t give a name. Said he was your friend, asked me to get you.” A pause, and he looked over his shoulder almost nervously. “He’s creepy, dude—I think he might be on the run. Who the fuck you hangin’ out with?”

Realization dawned, and he laughed. “Oh, okay,” he said, still laughing. “Yeah, it’s fine. It’s just Len—you can let him in.”

“You sure?”

Barry rolled his eyes. “Yes, Hal. I promise he won’t steal your stuff.”

His roommate’s eyes narrowed at that. “Even more suspicious,” he muttered, but he disappeared back into the hall.

There were muffled voices—Hal telling Len where to find him—and then the front door shut and the TV in the living room turned on. If he listened really carefully, he could hear quiet footsteps on the creaky stairs.

The door to his bedroom-slash-office opened again, and he turned back to his computer. The data report wasn’t going to finish itself. It didn’t take long for the door to shut, and then a man’s figure came to lean against the desk beside his arm.

“No Cold-Gun today?” Barry asked, conversational. “How bold of you. You know, without that thing, I could take you to jail whenever I want.”

The man scoffed. “We have a deal, Scarlet—I don’t kill, you don’t turn me in. I haven’t killed anyone, so…”

He rolled his eyes. “What do you want, Snart?” he sighed. “And how did you even find me?”

“I asked Vibe.”

Barry waited for him to continue, but he left it at that, so Barry finally stopped talking and looked up with a raised brow and a completely nonplussed expression. “What do you want, Cold?” he snapped.

Len just frowned. “What are you doing here, Scarlet?”

“What do you mean?” He gestured pointedly around them. “I’m working.”

“You work in Central City,” the man corrected, almost…grumbling.

Barry shook his head, face scrunching in utter confusion. “No, I mean—I had to go back to school.”

“Back?”

“Yeah? Back? This is where I went to get my degree in the first place, and now I have to take an updated course. Just a few weeks. I should be back by next month. I’m even getting paid for it.” He grinned, though it almost immediately fell when Len just stared at him. “What?”

“When did you get your degree?”

“Every CSI has a college degree, Snart. It’s mandatory.”

“No. When were you in Coast City?”

He shrugged. “I moved the summer after high school. School for three years, training for one, and then I went home.” The other man was silent, and his brow scrunched in concern. “Why?”

Len shook his head. “No reason,” he said quietly, glancing around the room. The way he said it indicated that there was, in fact, a reason, but that he would not be disclosing it. “What are you doing back?”

“Refresher course,” Barry replied slowly. “They updated the curriculum for the new tech we have now, and Singh offered to send me back here instead of doing the course in Central, since Coast City is way better in the university department.”

The other man didn’t ask anything else, still looking around the room, and the speedster sighed deeply.

“Look, Snart, I have a lot of work to do, so if there’s a reason for this visit, please get to—”

“What was it like,” he interrupted, the words rough and halting, as if he were forcing them out of his throat, “for you, when you were in your coma?”

Barry blinked in surprise. “How do you know about that?”

“Humor me, Scarlet.”

“I…” He hesitated before shaking his head. “Well, it was hard, at first. Not just because I woke up with superspeed, but—when I was…asleep…I was just dreaming. About anything, everything—and it didn’t really feel like anything more than just regular dreams and stuff. And then I woke up, and it had been, like…nine, ten months without me even noticing. So I had to deal with that.” He sighed. “The world just kind of…I mean, the world doesn’t stop because a random CSI is in a coma. No one really cared—No one other than Iris and Joe, and STAR Labs kinda. So, yeah. It was rough for a while. Everything had changed, and I didn’t even get to see it.”

Len was quiet for a long moment. Barry watched him carefully, searching for any sign as to what this was all about.

Finally, the older man sighed and shook his head. “How did you know it was me at the door?”

“Hal’s description,” he replied without hesitation. “He’s pretty intuitive about stuff. Said you looked like you were on the run, and creepy, and suspicious, but if he thought you were actually dangerous, he would have come out and said it. And you’re the only one I know that could pull that off and still say, I’m a friend of Barry’s, can you get him? with a totally straight face.” He shrugged. “Anyone else who might have done that is still in Central. I got an update last night—they all went out to celebrate Caitlin’s first official catch.” He grinned.

Len rolled his eyes. “You left a bunch of newbies to protect the city,” he sighed disapprovingly.

Barry frowned. “You know, when we first met, I was a newbie,” he pointed out. “I had only been a speedster for like—a month.” He huffed. “Cisco and Iris have it under control for now. It’s fine. The city’s in good hands.”

“I don’t like it.”

The speedster paused, head tilted as his eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“I just don’t. A lot can happen without the Scarlet Speedster around.”

“There are three other speedsters in town right now. I think they’ll be fine.”

“None of them are you.”

“What’s your point, Len?” he sighed, exasperated now. “Did something happen?”

“No.”

Just then, Barry’s alarm sounded, startling him. It was noon: officially lunchtime. He huffed, shutting down his laptop and standing to stretch. Then his phone started beeping again—not his alarm, this time, but his text-tone. And then it started ringing. Like, ringing ringing, in the way it only did when Cisco’s latest installation was being put to use.

He had only let him put the app on his phone a few weeks ago, before going to Coast City, just in case. If several people called him at once, he could choose which he wanted to answer rather than hearing the busy-line beeping noise when he answered the phone.

Barry raised a brow and reached for the device.

Len grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “Don’t answer that,” he all but ordered. “Trust me.”

“Why?” His face scrunched. “What’s going on?” he demanded.

“They’re just going to tell you that I’m on my way here,” the man explained carefully. “And since I’m already here, you don’t need to know.”

“How did you get here so fast, then?” Barry retorted.

“Kara lent me her generator.” Len shrugged. “She was…strangely nice.” His brow rose. “I’m guessing you only told her the good parts, and not that I’m a criminal?”

The speedster ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe? By the time I met her, you were with the Legends.” He paused. “How did you meet her?”

“Long story.”

“Obviously, I’ve got time.” He crossed his arms and glared pointedly. “What the hell is going on, Len? What did you do in Central that has everyone trying to get ahold of me? When did you get back from the Waverider? Why are you here?”

“I didn’t know where else to go!” Len shouted, expression crumpling. “Mick won’t talk to me, Lisa’s underground, Sara thinks I’ve lost my mind, and the rest of the crew—they can barely look at me after what they did! What they let me do!”

Barry was utterly confused, now, and he took a slow step forward as if approaching a scared, wounded animal. “What are you talking about?” he asked carefully.

“I died, Barry.”

He froze—actually froze, standing stock-still like a robot shutting down. This was… “What?” he asked. “What…That…What?”

Len sighed, slumping down into the vacated office chair. “The Time Masters were—They were gonna let Vandal Savage wreck the timeline. Kill whoever he wanted. They said they had to, to ensure the world’s survival.”

“What does that mean?”

“In a couple hundred years, we’re going to be invaded by Thanagaar—an alien planet with a warlike people. And the Time Masters don’t think we’ll make it unless Savage is there to help us. So, they let him do what he wants, shape the world into what he thinks is best, and he’ll save the world.”

“It’s Vandal Savage, Len. He can’t be trusted.”

“I know,” he snapped. “We all knew that.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We decided to destroy their time-keeping device. The Oculus, they called it. It held the records for every timeline, every little change that would or could occur. Destroy that, and time is guided by freewill.”

“And?”

“And the only way to destroy it was to stand right next to it, holding down the button until it exploded.” He looked up, watching the horror dawn across Barry’s face, and nodded. “Ray was going to be the one, thinking his Atom suit would protect him, but we saw that it wouldn’t. And then Mick tried to step in, because Rip convinced him it was the way to repent—by saving his friend. I couldn’t—I couldn’t let him die.”

“Len…”

“I couldn’t let Mick die, Barry,” he snapped. “Not like that. Not when I—I was the one who dragged him into the whole thing. Into the Legends. He followed me, after everything, after everything I did to him, and…and I couldn’t do it.”

“I get it.”

“I knocked him out, took his place…blew up the Oculus. Took out half the Time Masters, too.”

“And then?”

“I died. Disintegrated. Became…Nothing.”

Barry reached out to set a hand on his shoulder, brow scrunched in sympathy. “How long?”

“I don’t know.” Len shook his head. “Days? Years? Centuries? I…I wasn’t sleeping, exactly, or dreaming. It was all…real. And then you were there. Every time I managed to pull myself together, every time I relaxed into the pain enough to think…You were there.”

He was confused again. “I don’t remember…”

The man was already shaking his head. “An older version of you,” he clarified. “You were…maybe thirty?” He sighed. “There were so many fragments, different timelines…It’s hard to keep track. Most of them didn’t make sense.”

“Why?”

“I’d rather not say. If you don’t mind.”

Barry shrugged. “That’s fine, I guess. It’s your trauma.” He sighed. “So this was maybe…three, four years in the future.”

“Most of it.”

“And the rest?”

Len looked away at that, silent for a minute. Then, quietly, “The last one was a few weeks ago. He brought me back to the Waverider.”

“He?”

“You…Future-You.” He chuckled softly. “I fell through a wormhole onto his kitchen floor.”

Barry laughed. “I’m sure that was surprising.”

Len shrugged. “He didn’t seem surprised. But it could have been because he was older.”

“What do you mean, he didn’t seem surprised?”

“He…” Hesitation, again. “He just leaned over and said, Finally. Then he helped me up, explained some science stuff that I couldn’t understand, and offered to take me back to my time.”

“How old was he—I?” Barry stuttered.

“Forty? Maybe forty-five?” Another shrug. “You might have been older, though—I had a feeling. Speedster aging must be slower.”

“Strange.” He shook his head. “How long did you stay with the Legends?”

“Not long. Like I said, they can barely stand to be around me.” He sighed. “It didn’t take much to get them to drop me off in 2016.”

“You still haven’t told me how you met Supergirl. She’s on another Earth, Len—the Waverider couldn’t have taken you there, and I don’t think you have any favors left with Cisco. So how did you meet?”

Len nodded, thoughtful. “That…is complicated.”

“More complicated than literally dying?”

“Yes.”

Barry huffed and sat down on his bed, crossing his arms. “Hit me with it, then.”

“First of all, I didn’t meet her this year. I met her…probably at least fifteen or twenty years from now. It’s all a little fuzzy.”

“Why?”

“She—Well, her team, really…They were the ones who pulled my threads together.” He shook his head. “They didn’t mean to, not really—they were looking for some sort of robot, or something—but they got me out first. I was unconscious for that part. Woke up in a hospital bed next to Kara’s.”

“She was hurt?”

Len shook his head again. “Not exactly…More drained. The machine they used drew power from her. She insisted it was fine, that she just needed some Vitamin D, and she’d be fine.”

“Her power comes from the Sun.”

“I know that now—I didn’t know back then.” He sighed. “She asked who I was…and when I told her, she immediately asked if I knew you and Oliver.”

“Of course she did,” he muttered. “And then?”

“I don’t remember a lot of it,” Len admitted. “She gave me one of her spare generators, and then I woke up on Older-Barry’s kitchen floor.” A scoff. “And then I get home to a crew that no longer wants anything to do with me. They dropped me off in Central. I looked for Lisa, but it looks like she’s underground—she’s not at any of her usual safehouses.”

Barry grimaced, shifting slightly in his seat. “Um…”

The former villain narrowed his eyes. “What’s that, Scarlet?”

He winced. “Lisa’s not underground, Len.”

“What are you talking about? Is she in jail?”

“No…” Barry sighed. “She’s on Earth-2.”

“Why?” Len demanded, lurching from his seat.

“Because she’s sick,” he said calmly, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “Harry—Earth-2 Wells knew a doctor who specializes in her condition, one who’s much better than anyone we know on this Earth, and we sent her over there to get help. Cisco’s probably on his way there right now to tell her you’re back.” He paused. “Actually, she’s probably with the you who lives there, now that I think about it.”

“What?” That made him pause in his anger, at least, now confused and concerned. “Why?”

“I don’t think you want to know,” Barry hedged. “But she’s in good hands, I promise.”

“Just tell me, Barry.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “The doctor I told you about, the specialist? It’s her—Earth-2 Lisa Snart is a bio-engineer with a Medical Degree. Basically, she’s Caitlin. Minus the ice powers and with the addition of some pretty sweet inventions.” He grimaced. “Her brother is…the Mayor. Of Central City. They killed their dad when they were kids—self-defense.”

Len was quiet for a moment. Then: “You’ve met, then?”

He nodded. “Twice, actually. Once on accident…and then again when Harry introduced us to Lenny and Doc. They’re…nice. Safe. Very protective, which isn’t surprising.” He grinned. “Last I talked to Lisa, she was awake and feeling a lot better. She hasn’t had an episode in almost two months, and her brain activity is back to normal. She sounds better, too—more like herself. Even flirted with Cisco when they talked, which she hadn’t done in a while…”

“She’s okay, then?”

“Not at a hundred percent yet,” Barry warned with a shrug. “But yeah. She’s safe. Happy. Feeling better than she did when she first came to us.”

“What happened?”

“She just—Showed up at Joe’s one night, out of nowhere. I think it was maybe a month or so after you left—she had called Cisco before that, asking if we knew where you were, and we told her, and she was pissed at me for some reason.” He laughed, just a little. “Then she just shows up out of nowhere at Joe’s house, scares the hell out of me when she just walks right through the front door. Which was locked.” He shook his head. “Apparently, she stole your key?” His brow raised.

Len just smirked. “Lock-picking gets tedious after a while.”

“Where did you even—”

“Iris should be more careful about leaving her purse lying around.”

“…Whatever.” Barry huffed. “So, anyway, Lisa just walks in one night—middle of the night, out of nowhere—sits right next to me on the couch, scaring the hell out of me. She looks at me, and I could already tell something was messed up with her, because she just…she didn’t look right. She looked tired and sad and…sick.” He sighed. “She looked at me for a minute and then said, Don’t freak out. You know, like she hadn’t just appeared out of nowhere. And then she said, I need your help. And I was like, With what? And she told me she ran into an old boyfriend and he did something to her.”

“What the f—”

“Not that,” he assured quickly. “That was my first thought, but she kind of lost it when I asked her, and—yeah. So then, when she calmed down from that, she got this headache…migraine…thing, and that was when I first saw her get one of her attacks.” He grimaced. “It was…bad. Weird, and scary, and it actually kind of freaked me out.” A sigh. “So, uh, I called Caitlin first, and then Cisco and Harry, and asked them to meet us at STAR Labs. Harry had actually seen something like it before, on his Earth, and he knew a specialist—other-Lisa—who could help. So we took her there. She insisted that I had to come with her, and she wouldn’t let me leave until she was with Lenny and Doc, until she was sure she could trust them.”

Len thought this all over for a moment. “What exactly did this attack entail?”

“Hard to describe…” Barry thought about it. “She kind of…exploded? Not her body, but like…her spirit, kind of. Like an astral projection, except she couldn’t control it enough to actually appear as a person.” He sighed. “We met the ex-boyfriend a few weeks later…Roscoe?”

“Dillon.” He sneered. “He’s still around?”

“Not anymore,” the speedster said darkly. “He was a metahuman…some kind of tornado-hurricane-spinning abilities. Cisco called him Topsy-Turvy, but after he just kept coming and coming…it was an accident, but he died.”

“How did he hurt Lisa?”

“As far as we can tell…She was working on some sort of mercenary work or something, and he was robbing a bank, and they…literally ran into each other. She got thrown into a wall, got a knock on the head, and apparently the concussion triggered some kind of ability she didn’t know about.”

“She wasn’t in Central—”

“When the Particle Accelerator blew.” Barry nodded. “Yeah, we know.” He winced. “You’re not gonna like our theory on that.”

“Why not?” Len asked, very slowly.

“Because it might be my fault.”

He blinked, surprised. “What?”

“Turns out…I kind of…give off small amounts of Dark Matter because of the Speed Force…mostly when I run.”

“And?”

“And, the people that I transport, if they carry a metahuman gene, could, theoretically, absorb that Dark Matter in the same way that people affected by the Particle Accelerator did…and, theoretically, this would make them more likely to develop an ability when exposed to violent trauma.” A pause. “I transported Lisa a handful of times when we were helping you guys last year, and even before that for different reasons.”

Len didn’t say anything to this, instead looking down at his hands.

“I’m sorry, Len,” Barry said quietly. “If I’d known…”

“It’s not your fault,” he told him. “You didn’t know.”

“I…”

“Not every bad thing that happens is your fault, Scarlet,” Len said with a smirk. “It’s alright.”

Barry huffed. “Fine.” He was quiet for a minute. “If you want, I can take you to her. You know, so you can see for yourself.”

He thought about it for a bit before shaking his head. “No,” he decided. “If she’s getting what she needs, I don’t want to interrupt it. If Cisco does tell her and she wants to see me, I’ll go, but for now, she needs her rest.”

The speedster nodded in understanding. “Okay.” His phone was still ringing, and he looked at it. “I’m just gonna tell them that everything is fine.”

He picked up the device, ignoring the calls, and opened the group chat, which was full of about a hundred messages that all said pretty much the same thing. He sent out a text saying, Yeah, he’s here. Just wants to talk about some stuff. Everything is fine. Thanks, I’ll let you know later. Love you guys.

With that, Barry sighed and slipped the phone into his pocket. “So, what are you going to do now?” he asked the former villain.

Len just smiled. “Not sure. I could go back to robbing banks…but I don’t really need the money. Maybe I’ll offer your team some help in Central.”

“What do you mean, you don’t need the money?” His eyes narrowed.

“Blowing up the Oculus had a few benefits.” He shrugged. “I know all the lottery numbers for the next five years. I’ve already made four-hundred grand.”

“Len…”

“Technically not a crime.”

“Still.” Barry shook his head with a deep sigh. “Fine, whatever. Well, I’m sure STAR Labs could use the help. And I’ll be back in no time…as soon as I finish this course, which is…not what I expected.”

“Too hard?”

“Too easy,” he corrected, scoffing. “I’ve read all the material, and the projects are all…solved with very little effort. Nothing near as challenging as my actual job in Central. Science there is always complicated.”

“Because of the metas.”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Superpowers make regular science look way easier than it did in college.” He nodded at the computer. “Actually, after the paper I’m working on right now, I only have two more and a final exam. I could be done by next week, if I wanted. I just don’t want Singh to think I rushed through it.”

“He already trusts you more than any other CSI, Barry. I think he trusts you to do the work on your own schedule.”

“Maybe.”

“Then I’ll see you back in Central next week.”

“I—”

“Next week, Barry.”

A sigh. “Fine. Next week.” His phone buzzed, he looked at the message and laughed. “Harry says your sister is attempting a prison break to try to see you. You might want to visit her.”

Len chuckled. “Alright then. I suppose it’s time to tell her what’s happened.” He stood, holding out a hand when Barry followed suit. When their hands clasped, the villain-turned-legend pulled the speedster forward until they were almost hugging. “I’ll see you soon, Scarlet.”

“See you soon, Cold.”

And with the press of a button, Len was gone, leaving Barry to wonder exactly what just happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6 Weeks Later

“Barry…”

“Iris…”

She sighed. “This is getting unprofessional.”

He laughed, a little nervous. “What are you talking about?”

“You and Len.” It had taken a while for everyone to get used to each other, but now he was just Len instead of Cold. Progress. “You guys have got to stop flirting in the field. It’s weird.”

“We do not flirt.”

“You’re literally blushing, Barry.” Her tone was amused now. “Do you have a crush?”

“Iris,” the speedster all but whined, pulling a t-shirt over his head. “This is weird.”

“Why? Because we dated?”

“Yes!”

“Barely.” Iris rolled her eyes. “Barry, it’s fine. You have a crush on Len, it’s fine…but you should probably tell him.”

“No!” he said immediately. “No, that’s—That’s a bad idea.”

“Why? I’m pretty sure he likes you.”

That made him pause. “Really?” He bit his lip, looking at her. “You think so?”

“Lisa keeps teasing him about it.” She nodded. “And you’re both clearly attracted to each other, and you’re always flirting, so…Why not just come out and say it?”

“What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.”

“What if it ends badly?”

“What if it doesn’t?” Iris laughed brightly. “Barry, sometimes you get in your own way. You just gotta go for it sometimes. Take a leap of faith. It’s gonna be okay.”

Barry was quiet for a long time, and Iris eventually left him to his own devices.

Ultimately, he decided to go for it; he went to find Len. Unsurprisingly, he was at “their” spot: a diner across from Jitters and CCPD, filled with leather booths and chrome and the smell of fresh homemade pie.

Barry slid into the booth across from Len, who looked up from his phone with a smile. “Hey, Scarlet. Look at this.”

He turned the device around so the speedster could see. “What’s that? Oh—Oh, that’s so cool!” He grinned. “Lisa-Squared?”

“Yeah. Lisa drew up the models, and Doc built it. It came out pretty neat, I think.”

“It did, yeah. I like the melting feature—there won’t be ice-streaks all over the city.” He laughed. “Of course they’re gold—Lisa’s choice, I’m sure.”

“Naturally.” Len shrugged. “You can’t take the Gold out of the Glider, I guess. Not completely.”

“No, I guess not.” Barry leaned his head on his palm, elbow on the table.

The newly-branded Citizen Cold raised a brow and put his phone away. “Something on your mind, Barry?”

He shrugged. “Iris came to talk to me today.”

“What about?”

“She said that we flirt a lot when we’re in the field.” He scrunched his nose. “I told her she was crazy, and she looked at me like I was an idiot…not unlike you’re looking at me right now, Len—what the hell?”

“Barry,” he said quietly, slowly, “I don’t know how to break this to you, but almost everything we say to each other is banter…which is a form of flirting.”

“But—But,” Barry sputtered. “But!”

“What’s wrong, Scarlet?” Len teased. “Can’t keep up?”

He frowned, almost pouting. “You never said anything,” he accused.

The other man shrugged. “I was told not to.”

“By who?”

“By you. Older you—The one who brought me back. He said you had to figure it out on your own.”

Barry stammered again, arms flailing. “What the hell!” he said, frustrated. “That’s stupid!”

“You’re calling yourself an idiot?” Len clarified.

“Yes! I’m an idiot, now, but like—that’s just stupid.” He sighed. “I mean, I guess it makes sense to keep the timeline the way it should be. But still.”

They were both quiet for a long minute. Long enough for a waitress to come by and take drink orders and then bring them back.

Once she disappeared, Barry took a sip of his soda and then suddenly blurted, “Will you go with me to Jesse’s party on Earth-2 this weekend?”

Len raised a brow. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? That’s a lot of pressure.”

“It’s just a party, Len,” he said with a grin. “All our friends will be there, and we can be together without doing the awkward first-date thing…I mean, we already did a lot of that without realizing. Unless you want to…”

There was a pause as he thought about it, enough to make Barry almost panic, but Len nodded slowly. “Alright. But I have two requests.”

“Shoot.”

“One: If Caitlin makes her Speedster Alcohol, you have to stop drinking at least two hours before we leave. I want you sober when we head out.”

“Why?”

“Because, two: I want to go for a walk. We’re not doing the first-date-awkward dinner thing, and movies aren’t something we have time for, but we can go for a walk and talk about things.” A pause. “It’s important, to me.”

Barry thought about this, about what it might mean, but he didn’t see a reason to say no. Besides… “That sounds nice. Okay. I won’t drink too much, and I’ll stop before we leave so we can go talk. It’s a deal.”

“It’s a date, Scarlet.”

“A date, Cold.”

#coldflash #for a friend #coldflash fic #fanfiction #i'm a huge dork #here you go #i guess #brief hal jordan mention even though i hate him i hope you're happy

[vincess-princess]

What Is Lost, What Is Found

Chapter 5.

Word count: 4417 Warnings: alcohol consumption, addiction mention

This time Mick stayed late in the store. A bunch of records that arrived that day were damaged, and he spent hours arguing on the phone with the provider demanding to replace the order. He did succeed in it, but when he put the phone down, the sky was already dark-blue and public transport wasn’t working. One more reason to get a car, a gloomy thought crossed his mind. If those problems with the supplies continued to arise, he wouldn’t be able to save up enough to buy a car in the foreseeable future.

Then there was his, well, other problem. As stress was building up in him due to financial difficulties, he found it harder and harder to keep away from the bottle. Even if he managed to keep himself from hiding one more bottle of whiskey in the counter, he inevitably got caught by nearby bars. Every day he passed them on his way to work and on his way home, and often ended up inside with his savings all gone, wasted. The next day there was always shame and self-disgust, and a lot of promises to give up, now for good. All those promises went forgotten once a Friday came about.

This night was a Wednesday night, and Mick already craved a drink. Before, he would just give in to the craving, but now every time he saw Vince’s face in front of him. His relieved expression after Mick lied to him haunted him. You told him you had quit. The only thing you do well is lie. You are so weak.

Mick’s hands were shaking when he was counting money. He dropped a coin, and it rolled under the counter. God fucking damn.

Mick plopped down on his knees and stuck his hand under the counter to get the coin. It was just out if his reach. Now, if he managed to stick his hand a little farther-

The door of the shop opened with a loud bang, and Mick heard steps of three people coming inside. What the hell? He was sure he had put a “closed” plate on the door...

“Anyone in here?” a male voice asked. Mick tried to pull his hand from under the counter, but it stuck.

“A second!” he called, frantically trying to free his hand. Finally, he managed to get it out, grazing the skin on his knuckles in process.

“Yes?” He stood up, and his jaw went slack.

Two policemen stood in the center of the shop, and one of them was holding a boy by the shoulder. The boy’s face seemed familiar, spiky black hair and stubborn crease of the eyebrows, but Mick had to rack his brains to recognize him. He stared mindlessly at the boy for a few awkward seconds until he dug up the face in front of him in his memory.

It was Nikki, Tommy’s and Vince’s friend. Right here, in his shop, accompanied by two cops.

“Uncle Mick!” Nikki exclaimed. Mick blinked in confusion. As far as he knew, he didn’t have any nephews until this very day. “I was just grabbing some hot dogs for us and these co- gentlemen said I broke the curfew.”

“Excuse me?” he murmured, staring at Nikki. The boy stared back, tapping his foot on the floor nervously.

“Sir, this boy claims to be your nephew,” one of the cops spoke. “Is that true?”

Mick looked at the cop, then at Nikki. The boy was making big eyes at him, nodding slightly. Help me, he pronounced with his lips soundlessly. Please.

Should he help him? He was a bad influence on Tommy, didn’t let him come to his store at first and was still reluctant about it now. Vince never talked about him and when asked retreated to one-word answers, which was as far from Vince that Mick knew as possible. Mick could as well tell the cops he didn’t know him - to get rid of him. Maybe without him Tommy would- he and Vince would agree-

Oh well.

“Yeah, sure,” he said. “What, is that so late already? I might have lost the track of time.”

“It is, Mr- what’s your name?”

“Mars,” Mick said on a whim. “Oh, wait, you want my legal name. Deal, it’s Deal.”

“Mr Deal, why did you let the boy out so late? Don’t you know about the existence of a curfew for kids and teenagers?” The police officer said with barely a note of disapproval. He really didn’t care. Well, neither did Mick.

“To grab some snacks. I do, I do; I just didn’t notice it’s already too late for kids to go out. Time flies by, y’know.”

“Well, next time we will have to bring the boy to the police station and file a case. We’re ready to turn a blind eye on it now, since it’s your first offence of a kind, but we’ll have to fine you.” The cop’s face livened up when he said “fine”. Of course, Mick thought with disgust and reached into his pocket with a sigh. Cops were always the same. The boy was lucky Mick hated the police so much – definitely much more than him. He didn’t even hate him to the full meaning of the word, definitely not. Rather, he was irritated by him, which was a completely different thing.

He put three dollar bills on the counter, 50$ each. One cop approached and took them. The second raised his eyebrows, so much greediness on his fat, apathetic face Mick barely managed to hold himself from punching him in that face, just not to see it anymore. Instead, he only nodded and reached for his wallet again. The boy was observing them with interest in his eyes, successfully hiding it for the cops behind his bangs. He didn’t seem to be scared or even mildly uncomfortable at all. More than that, Mick could bet he was enjoying it to the fullest. What a motherfucker.

Mick lined three more dollar bills on the counter, and they immediately disappeared in the second cop’s pocket. Only then they released Nikki and left the shop, smiling smugly.

Mick followed them with his gaze until they were out of sight. Then he turned to Nikki and spoke:

“What the fuck that just was?”

Nikki turned his head away, avoiding Mick’s gaze. The enjoyment he had while Mick was dealing with the cops vanished immediately.

“I need to go,” he said, turning towards the door.

“No way,” Mick stood up. “If you get caught the second time, you’re absolutely gonna end up in a police station.”

“I won’t,” Nikki shook his head, his hand already on a doorknob. Still, he stopped and turned to Mick. “I need to check up on Tommy.”

“Anything wrong with him?” Mick frowned.

“We were heading to Starwood when the cops appeared.” Nikki said unwillingly. “I told Tommy to hide and ran to distract them. I need to check up on him.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Mick cut off. “I’ll go. You tell me where you left him.”

Nikki’s grip on the knob strengthened so much his knuckles went white. “I’m going with you. You don’t know all the places.”

“Listen, you-“ Mick started but had to cut the sentence off short because the kid was right. Mick wasn’t a huge partygoer, and only knew the clubs on Sunset Strip from when he used to play in them – which was pretty long ago. He never went to such places to drink - they were too crowded, chock-full with teenagers. He preferred smaller pubs near his home.

“You don’t know all the places,” Nikki added. He knew exactly what he was doing, and it worked – Mick’s stubbornness was weakening. If only there was someone else who knew Tommy better…

There was no one. Mick sighed.

“Alright. You can go. But if we come across cops, I’m talking, alright?”

Nikki just nodded.

***

“Here is where I left him,” Nikki suddenly said fifteen minutes away from the shop. The place was incredibly unremarkable. “I ran across the street, and Tommy hid behind the corner.” They peered behind the aforementioned corner, both knowing it would be useless and both doing it anyway. Tommy, of course, wasn’t there. Still, they looked at each other with disappointment.

“Why did you decide to attract the cops’ attention?” Mick asked as they were crossing the street.

“To let Tommy get away,” Nikki looked at him like he was an idiot. “Haven’t I already said that?”

Mick sighed. Fucking teenagers. “Yes, I’ve heard that. What I want to know is - why not the other way around?”

“You mean, Tommy runs and I hide?” Nikki clarified in a tone an adult would talk in to a four-year-old.

“Yes.”

“Haven’t he told you about his… situation?” Nikki raised his eyebrows.

“He told me a lot of things.”

“I mean his life situation. How he ended up on streets.”

“Ah, this,” Mick recalled the day the third shoplifter hungry for Deep Purple music appeared in his shop. The memory was accompanied with an unexpected fondness. “He told me that on the very first day, in his first few sentences he addressed to me.”

“Yeah, he does that,” the corners of Nikki’s lips curved into a smile. Mick smiled too. It was physically impossible to think about Tommy and not smile. “A big mouth, he is. Then you should understand why it’s better for me to get caught.”

“He doesn’t want to go back to the orphanage.”

“Exactly,” Nikki said. Mick tried to come up with any other option in such a case, but got nothing.

“But shouldn’t the cops bring you to your parents?” Mick asked, recalling Tommy’s stories about Nikki. There was something wrong with his parents, that’s for sure. Tommy never told him much, probably because Nikki hadn’t told him much as well. So what was that? Abuse? Alcoholism? Single parent family? Neglect?

“Parents?” Nikki grinned, but it looked more like an animal baring its teeth before an attack. “I have no parents.”

“Everyone has parents.”

“Well, I don’t anymore. Physically they are still out there, but for me they’re as good as dead.”

“Okay…” Mick looked at Nikki, but he looked strictly forward. His hair covered a good portion of his face, so his expression in the dim lights of the street was undistinguishable. There was something really fucked up between Nikki and his parents and people are always hungry to learn about fucked up things, Mick was no exception. Still, he knew for sure he wasn’t going to get an answer – Mick and Nikki weren’t on exactly friendly terms with each other, and winning Nikki’s trust would be way harder than Tommy’s or even Vince’s.

“Where are we going now?” he asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Nikki kept glancing at him, thinking Mick didn’t notice. He was probably wondering why Mick would go through all the trouble. Mick was wondering about it himself. Still, he kept walking.

“I think we should check the clubs on the Strip first. The security knows us and could let him in.”

“Is it really that easy for a minor to enter an adult-oriented place?”

Nikki chuckled. “Well, not for other minors. But for us – yes.”

“What’s so unique about you three?”

“Everybody knows us,” came the short answer. One of the clubs was right across the street, and Nikki pointed at it. “Here, that’s Starwood. Are you going in with me?”

***

Upon entering the place they met a security guard who looked over Mick with suspicion and nodded to Nikki. As a “responsible adult”, Mick should probably be condemning such violations of the law. But he was never on good terms with the law in general and the government in particular, and, to be honest, hadn’t he done exactly the same when he was fifteen?

Once they were inside, Nikki headed directly towards the bar. The club was stuffy, full of people dancing, kissing and drinking, with some garage band performing on the background. Mick tried to listen, but quickly realized that the guitarist was probably holding the guitar for the first time in his short life, and lost interest.

The bar was a way more interesting place. Mick strained his eyes, trying to find Tommy in the crowd, but to no avail. He turned to Nikki to ask whether he could recognize him in the crowd and discovered that he was already sitting on a bar stool sipping a beer.

Mick sat down on a bar stool next to Nikki. “Weren’t we looking for Tommy?” he murmured indignantly, trying to fix his gaze on Nikki’s face instead of the glass of amazingly cold beer in his hands. How could the kid tease him like that? Of course, he didn’t know Mick had been trying to quit. But it didn’t justify it!

“We are,” Nikki waved to the bartender. “Hey, Tony!” he shouted as the bartender approached them. “Have you seen Tommy over here in the last hour or two?”

“No,” Tony shook his head. “Is your, hm, friend ordering anything?”

“No, no, I’m not,” Mick shook his head.

“You sure?” the bartender raised his eyebrow. “People don’t go to clubs just because.”

“I’m still surprised I’m here,” Mick muttered, sending Nikki a murderous gaze. Nikki kept drinking his beer as though he didn’t notice it, though Mick was pretty sure he did. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be Nikki.

Once Nikki finished his beer Mick touched him by the shoulder. “So, are we going to search for Tommy, or you’d rather have fun here?”

“Oh, come on,” Nikki rolled his eyes. “It’s just one glass. I was thirsty.”

Mick only shook his head and got up. He had no power over Nikki, and it wasn’t his job to better him. He was just disappointed. He thought better of him. In Tommy’s stories he was always a hero. But Tommy was so blinded by Nikki’s lone wolf appeal that he couldn’t see his friend’s negative sides.

Nikki watched him getting up and moving the chair back under the counter with an unreadable expression. For a second, Mick thought he would stay. But then Nikki got up as well.

“Okay, okay, let’s go,” Nikki put money on the counter and headed towards the door.

The next club they went to Nikki decided not to go in, to Mick’s relief. He just shook hands with the security guard at the door and asked him something. Mick knew the guard would shake his head even before he actually did it. Mick’s anxiety for Tommy kept growing. What if the kid had been arrested and was now at the police station? How were they going to get him out, especially now that he had no legal guardian? Mick could pretend to be his uncle in front of only two not very meticulous cops in his own shop, but at the police station he would have to prove it.

“Nothing?” he asked when Nikki returned. The kid just shook his head.

The next club, apparently, had some relatively famous band playing tonight: the line of mostly teenagers stretched out across the street.

“We’re not going to stay in this line, are we?” Mick asked Nikki, dreading the answer. If they had to stay in the line they would lose too much time. More than that, Mick didn’t feel confident surrounded by so many teenagers. It was their place and their time: Mick didn’t belong in it.

“Nah,” Nikki shook his head. “I’m just gonna go ask the guard. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“I hope so,” Mick murmured, following Nikki with his gaze as the kid found his way through the line, eliciting a few angry calls from the teenagers. Mick leaned against the wall a little away from them, feeling uncomfortable under the gazes of so many teenagers. Someone in the line laughed, and Mick flinched. They weren’t laughing at him, were they?..

Well, that was just stupid, he berated himself. He had as much right to stay here as any of the kids in the line. And since when did he care about what some dumb kids think of him?..

When Nikki returned, he shook his head again silently. Mick sighed. The hope to find Tommy was getting thinner and thinner. And if they wouldn’t find him, how was he going to sleep at night knowing Tommy was in danger?

“They have London playing over there,” Nikki suddenly said as they headed to the next club. It was a little farther away, adding a few minutes of walking. “I used to be their bassist.”

“Got kicked out?”

“Sorta. I got my bass stolen, and didn’t have enough money to buy a new one.”

“It’s a pretty expensive instrument. How did you get it in the first place?”

“Stole it,” Nikki giggled. “Went into a shop with an empty guitar case, and as the shop assistant was searching in the back, I just took the guitar, put it in the case and left.”

Mick glanced at him quickly. “It’s karma. You had stolen the bass and then someone stole it from you too. What else did you expect?”

“Bullshit,” Nikki waved his hand. “I just hope someone steals my bass from that jerk as well.”

Mick smiled. Nikki was more of a kid than he and Nikki himself imagined. And it was reassuring, in a way. Nikki could act like he’s all grown up, but underneath this façade he was still a kid.

The rest of the way they walked in silence. As they neared the last bar – Whiskey, Mick recalled, he used to play there from time to time, - Nikki pointed at it.

“You sure you don’t want to have a drink? Here they’re making good Bloody Marys.

“I’m not drinking,” Mick refused almost confidently. Almost. “Haven’t Vince told you yet? I quit.”

“We don’t speak much now,” Nikki said, frowning. “He’s always at his boyfriend’s, and I don’t like him.”

“Vince or boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend, of course,” Nikki curved his lips in disgust. “Vince’s always picking older guys, and as for me, they’re just using him for sex. But he doesn’t want to listen to me. And his boyfriends always hate me, I don’t know why.”

Mick just nodded. As for him, it was perfectly reasonable why. A mere mention of Vince’s boyfriends got Nikki so agitated it was clear it wasn’t just a nuisance for him. But Mick sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Nikki about that.

Of course, there was no Tommy in Whiskey. Nikki didn’t have to tell Mick: just seeing him in the doorframe, alone, was enough. They both turned around and headed back without a word. Mick kept glancing at Nikki, waiting for “well, I gotta go”, but Nikki was silent. He was silent as they crossed the street and approached Mick’s store. He was silent as Mick opened the door.

“Would you like to, um, stay the night?” Mick finally gained enough courage to ask, tired of the heavy silence between them. He was more nervous now than he was asking his first girlfriend out.

“Okay,” Nikki shrugged. Mick felt his knees weakening. Okay? That was it?! “Not that I have any other place to go.”

Mick inhaled slowly. All the “paranoid junkie” bullshit Tommy was talking about (or, rather, the conclusions Mick drew from his words) made him think Nikki would never agree to come to his shop in person, let alone ask for help and stay the night. Maybe Tommy exaggerated a little. Nikki was wary, yes, but not outright hostile.

“And where were you going to sleep this night then?” Mick finally asked, recalling the “no place to go” part.

“I haven’t thought of it yet. I prefer to focus on the present.”

“I have only one sofa, by the way.” Mick told him, smiling at the confidence the kid said it with. “Someone is gonna have to sleep on the floor.”

“No problem,” Nikki shook his head. “I had it worse. Do you have something to eat, by the way? I’m starving.”

“Say no more,” Mick found a bag of chips in the counter and handed it to Nikki. “As a responsible adult I’ve got to warn you that it’s not healthy and nutritious,” he then fished a half-finished bottle of coke out of the counter and immediately closed the door so that Nikki wouldn’t see all the empty whiskey and vodka bottles lying in it.

“Enjoy,” Mick turned the key in the lock, making sure it was closed. With a person such as Nikki, one could expect anything. Not that he didn’t trust the boy, not really. But money is money.

“Thamks,” Nikki slurred, his mouth already full. “I don’t like your responsible adult mode,” he said once he swallowed and could speak clearly. “Don’t you want to just have some fun sometimes? Go to a bar, get shitfaced, get laid? What do you even do for fun, count your taxes?”

“That was rude,” Mick commented, actually trying not to laugh. He also once had that sex, drugs and rock’n’roll mindset. Until he ran out of money. “Be careful with accident hook-ups, kid, or you will end up like me.”

“What, an independent business owner in the center of LA?” Nikki raised an eyebrow. “Sounds alright to me.”

Mick laughed. “Up to your ears in alimony!”

“Oh,” Nikki said thoughtfully and reached for more chips. “I didn’t know you have kids.”

“We’re talking for the first time since the day I caught you,” Mick reminded. Nikki winced at these words. “I would be more surprised if you did. But, knowing Tommy…”

“Yeah, he tells me everything,” Nikki nodded. “And I’ve heard nothing about them from him. How old are they?”

“Eight and five. They live with their mother.”

“Do you see them often?”

Mick sighed. “No. Can we drop the topic?”

“Sure,” Nikki just put a handful of chips in his mouth and the phrase sounded muffled. “But it’s a pity, really,” he added when his mouth was empty again.

“It is,” Mick murmured. He needed to put an end to this conversation immediately. “Now, isn’t it bedtime?”

“Oh, come on,” Nikki waved his hand. “Turn off that responsible adult mode. Do you maybe by any chance have some whiskey?”

“Bed,” Mick pointed at the backroom and frowned, more for a laugh.

“Okay, mom,” Nikki rolled his eyes, but got up and headed to the backroom. “I can sleep on the floor, but I get a blanket then, alright?”

“Sure, it’s fair,” Mick agreed. The perspective of sleeping on the sofa without a blanket wasn’t very attractive, but sleeping on the floor would fuck up his spine for a long time coming. He checked the lock on the door and followed Nikki to the backroom. It wasn’t the first time he stayed the night at work, but it was the first time he had a roommate. He only hoped Nikki wouldn’t snore.

Meanwhile, Nikki had already put the blanket on the floor and settled on it.

“Good night,” Mick told him as he lay down on the sofa.

Nikki looked surprised. “Good night, I guess. And… thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Nikki fell asleep quickly, but Mick stayed awake for a long time, tormented by the pain in his back. It obviously didn’t like his midnight walk around the city. He checked up on Nikki every now and then, amazed at how peaceful he looked while sleeping. It was like all his concerns that left their trace on his face during the day disappeared during the night. A kid of his age shouldn’t have so many concerns, Mick thought. Teenagehood is a time for bad marks, hanging out with friends till sunrise, first crushes, and definitely not a time of thinking where to spend a night and how to survive the next day. Anger washed over Mick, making him clench his fists as he kept looking at Nikki peacefully snoring, clutching his backpack even in his sleep. Whoever did this to Nikki didn’t deserve to have kids at all, let alone take care of them. Nikki deserved better.

Mick couldn’t fall asleep for a long time, recalling the day again and again, every move, every word. He was pretty sure this wasn’t the first time Nikki broke the law. Staying in a police station for a night would have been just another nuisance for him, not a life-changing situation. So after all Mick had heard from Tommy about Nikki he least of all expected Nikki to need help – his help, of all people. They’d never even talked before. Why did he do it then? It was weird, and from the image Mick had in his head based on Tommy’s stories and what he saw today, not at all Nikki-like.

On the other hand, he didn’t know Nikki all that well. Who knew what was going on in that head of his?

There was one thing, however, that Mick was sure about. Nikki would come back. One day or another, but he would. Not after what happened today.

***

Mick woke up from energetic banging on the door. He looked at the clock. Well, no doubt he overslept – it was almost an hour after he was supposed to open the shop. Still, what kind of customer would actually bang on the door of a closed shop?

Of course it weren’t customers. It were Tommy and Vince.

When Mick saw them, he wanted to both hug and kill them. Now it was clear that Tommy went over to sleep at Vince’s. What’s more, it was perfectly logical. Why didn’t they even think about it yesterday?

“Hey, Mick! …why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m gonna murder you one day,” Nikki promised solemnly from behind Mick’s back. He had probably also been woken up by the banging.

“I love you too,” Tommy grinned. “Can I know why?”

“Where the fuck did you go last night? We walked round the entire neighborhood!”

“We?..” Tommy looked at Mick questioningly.

“I’m not ready for this,” Mick waved his hand and stepped to the side. “Nikki, you tell them.”

“Oh, I will,” Nikki promised gravely. Mick retreated to the backroom, sprawled on the couch and closed his eyes, listening to indistinguishable voices from the store.

As though a weight had been lifted off Mick’s shoulders when he saw Tommy alive and well. Why did he even care so much?

#motley crue #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx #mick mars #tommy lee #vince neil (honorary mention) #phew this chapter turned out waaay longer than i planned #but the more the better amirite? #im not very satisfied with this #i could do better #but im completely braindead at the moment #so have this #what is lost what is found

[mikkomacko]

Christmas Magic 2

The smack delivered to her arm stings against her bare skin, y/n flinching immediately. "He's a dad?" Emma exclaims loudly, dropping her candy cane striped hat to the floor. "You're going out with someone's father?"

"Would you chill, it's not like he's forty!" Y/n hisses, rubbing at her bicep that Emma had slapped in reaction to y/n telling her about Harry. She pulls down the skirt of her Mrs. Claus dress, smoothing out the white fuzz at the edging.

"But he's like had a child," Emma says as if y/n's missing something obvious. "you'd be like a mom but not a mom."

She can't help but roll her eyes at her friend and co-worker's words. "Dad's deserve rights too, you know? Especially hot dads."

Emma laughs at that, swatting at her arm again. Thankfully it's playful this time. "Ok but how hot is he?"

"A cross of Mick Jagger and Bill Skarsgard."

"Holy fuck he's your wet dream!"

"I know," she squeals, clenching her fists as she does a little dance of excitement in her spot. "and his daughter is so sweet. Like I know I love kids, but I really fucking love this kid."

Y/n has always loved kids. She grew up with lots of cousins and friends that had little siblings so being around children was second nature. Not to mention all the time she volunteered at nurseries and elementary schools and children's hospitals.

Emma tells her something but she's not listening enough to answer, and they finish getting ready for their set in silence because y/n is too deep into her thoughts to answer. And even as she's onstage, looking around just in case Harry and Ophelia happen to be back, she can't help but wonder if Harry loves all kids the way she does or if he's just soft for his daughter.

~

"A date?" Gemma gasps, and Harry can picturing her clutching her non-existent pearls. "With a woman?"

"Yes Gem," Harry exasperates, "a woman has agreed to go on a date with me this weekend."

She giggles through the phone, either happy that he's got his first real date in four years or proud of her own joke. "So the nipper needs a babysitter huh?"

Harry cradles his phone between his ear and shoulder, grabbing the check in form on the reception desk. "Yes she does and she's very excited to see her aunt Gemma." He winces through the lie, remembering how much Ophelia had wailed when he informed her that she wouldn't be attending dinner with him and y/n.

"Does she know your going on a date or does she think you're working late again?"

"Umm," Harry pauses, hearing Gemma's words but too caught up reading over all the names that have signed in. After a moment, one in which Gemma knows he's multitasking ( or trying to), Harry finally answers. "she knows it's a date. Wouldn't lie to her."

"How'd she take the news?"

"Well, I um, I asked the girl out when Ophelia was with me." Harry admits and as he thinks about it, he's lucky Ophelia didn't burst into a tantrum in that cafe when he'd asked. She's always had issues with sharing Harry, even going as far as yelling at his old boss when he'd had to come in on a weekend, leaving her with Uncle Niall.

"So she knows you're a dad then?"

Harry scoffs, "Of course, wouldn't ask someone out without telling them about the little miss."

Gemma makes a sound as if to say "that's why you've never gotten any dates" and he's tempted to tell her that he's in fact never wanted to date anyone until he met y/n. He thinks it was how starry eyed she had Ophelia. Or maybe it's how sweet her smile is.

Harry's interrupted by a terrible, screeching cry from down the hall. "Sorry Gem, gotta go. I've got a crier. I'll text ya the time." He's hanging up his phone, dropping it onto his desk quite ungracefully, and swiping up a patient chart as quickly as he can. Harry jogs down the hall to the room of Charles M. Brunt, putting on a smile as he enters the room.

"S'all this crying for me?" He greets, catching the attention of the wailing boy. He stops squirming in his mother's arms, staring up at Harry with big, teary eyes and a trembling bottom lip.

"D-do I really have to get a shot?"

Harry tries not to smile because he had a feeling all this wailing was due to a shot. Instead, he pouts sympathetically and nods. "I'm afraid so but don't you worry. I promise it won't hurt."

Charlie's face wobbles a bit as he sniffles sadly, looking to his mother for help. She wipes his tears, shrugging sadly at him. "We trust Mr. Harry don't we Charlie?" Charlie nods at her words. "Then we know this will be ok."

Harry offers him one last encouraging smile before gathering everything for Charlie's flu shot, picking out the Avengers band-aid because he knows Charlie loves that one. Harry gets Charlie's sleeve rolled up and latex gloves on, wiping his bicep with an alcohol wipe. Charlie attaches himself to his mother's arm, squeezing her hand for dear life like he always does.

"Hey Charlie," Harry distracts, subtly pulling the cap off the needle. "what'd ya ask Santa for for Christmas?"

Charlie seems to forget what's going on, relaxing as he falls victim to the excitement of Christmas. He starts listing off different types of Legos he asked for, only pausing when Harry picks him with the needle. He's quick to inject the fluid before Charlie tenses to much, pulling the needle out and covering it with the band-aid.

"We did it Mr. Harry!" Charlie laughs, straining his neck to look at his band-aid. "And you put Thor on me! I love Thor!"

Harry chuckles. "Well he is the best." He responds even though he couldn't care less about the best superhero. He's pretty sure he told Ophelia last week that Captain America is the best Avenger because he's her favorite.

Harry sends Charlie off to the checkout desk with a fist-bump and a "merry Christmas," wondering which superhero y/n thinks is the best.

~

She's nervous. Really nervous as she paces back and forth in the living room of her little apartment, fiddling with the sleeves of her sweater. She's got her water proof boots on, her gloves tucked into the pocket of her winter coat, and tights on under her jeans, beyond prepared to brace the cold so she can enjoy her night with Harry.

Her date with Harry.

But he's late. Not so late that she'd think he'd stood her up, especially since he called her ten minutes ago, breathless and a bit grumpy, to tell her that he's running a tiny bit late. She doesn't know how far he lives or if he's driving or taking the train or maybe a taxi, so she can't really time how long it'll take him to get to her complex.

Y/n is in the middle of re-tying her boots when her phone rings, Harry’s name popping up on the screen as well as a picture of Mick Jagger back when he was around her age. She’s quick to answer, breathless with nerves as she softly says “hello?”

"M'outside," Harry says, sounding a lot happier than he did earlier, before quickly adding, "well I think I'm outside." He chuckles a rumble-y little titter that crackles in the phone's speaker while y/n tugs on her coat and rushes outside, locking the door behind her. She peers down from the second story landing, spotting the black car she'd seen him load Ophelia into after the carnival.

"There you are," she assures him, practically hopping down the stairs. "M'coming now."

"Ya know I can see ya, right?" Harry laughs teasingly but cutely, and she can't recall a time she's ever referred to someone's father as cute.

"Well I didn't know if you could see in the dark or not!" Y/n defends, laughing because there's just something about Harry that makes her overflow with giggles.

"Old enough to be a father, love but m'not old enough to be blind."

She laughs even more at that, blushing over the fact that Harry's so hilarious. She's never met a guy that's been genuinely silly and funny like Harry is.

"Blindness comes in all ages sir." She responds sassily, giggling when Harry chuckles deeply. His only line of defense is a response of "hurry up and get in the bloody car," but she's already reaching for the handle of the passenger side door. She hops in, the heating blasting against her cold cheeks and the seat warm under her body.

"You're being awful bossy," y/n says, phone still pressed to her ear despite the fact that Harry has set his in his lap and looking at her with bright eyes, that twinkle blue and she can't help but swoon over the fact that sometimes his eyes are blue and sometimes they're green. She wonders if Ophelia's eyes do that too.

Harry simpers, a little shyly, and shrugs. "M'a dad. Bossy comes with the title."

Y/n rolls her eyes, finally hanging up her phone and tucking it into the pocket of her coat. Harry looks at her expectantly, hand resting on the gear shift and she quickly buckles up to appease him.

"Speaking of being a dad," y/n murmurs, unable to stop herself. "how's Ophelia?"

The smile that takes over his face is breathtaking, crinkling by his eyes and indenting dimples into his cheek. He only glances at her for a second before returning his eyes to the road and y/n realizes she doesn't know where they're going. Then she catches the glimmer in his eyes and decides she doesn't care.

"She's good. Spent the day making gingerbread houses with her before my sister came to babysit for the night." Y/n practically coos at the longing in Harry’s voice, as if he’d do anything to always have her with him.

"Wait," she frowns, turning in her seat to look at him. "was she upset that you were leaving tonight?"

Harry looks at her curiously for a very brief second, shrugging as he struggles to come up with an answer. Y/n already knows the answer that's going to come out of his mouth. "She was a little hurt that she wasn't tagging along," he finally replies, sugar coating the fact that Ophelia had a tantrum when Harry went to leave without her.

"She was?" Y/n grimaces, slumping into the seat. The car comes to a red light, Harry finally looking at her once they've stopped.

"S'why I was late," he says apologetically. "she was hurt that I got to come see you and she didn't."

And that wasn't what she was expecting to hear. She thought he'd gently tell her that Ophelia was hurt that someone was stealing her daddy for the night. That Ophelia hated y/n and didn't want Harry with her. She saw how much Ophelia loves Harry, how anxious she is without him. She can't really imagine Ophelia being sad that she wasn't spending time with y/n instead of being sad that she wasn't spending time with her father.

"Really?"

Harry must hear the surprise in her voice because he chuckles softly, nodding as he takes the green arrow to head left. They're going to the outskirts of the city where there's mostly just big luxurious houses and small business. She listens with a tiny smile and blushing cheeks as Harry tells her all about Ophelia's love for her. He gushes that Ophelia keeps begging to go back to the carnival and if he didn't have work he probably would have taken her because she's just so sulky every time Harry tells her they can't go visit y/n. And when he tells her that Ophelia typically hates strangers, but not her, she thinks her heart's going to beat right out of her chest.

~

The restaurant Harry chose is small but cozy, dim-lighted with dark wood floors and oak tables and booths. Garland and white lights line every single window, mistletoe hung from every light fixture, and a thin but tall tree placed by the entrance next to the hostess. Judging by the pictures on the wall, it's family owned and operated since 1985 when a man named Carl Knox opened it for his wife, Lucilia. She can't help but think how cute it is that the restaurant is called Lucy's.

Harry seems to be a regular here, comfortably hanging his coat on the hooks by their booth and helping y/n out of hers. Always nervous in new places, she fiddles a bit when she first slides into the booth and is handed a menu by a teenager named Justin who greets Harry with a "nice to see you again Mr. Styles. No little one tonight?"

He chuckles, glancing at y/n with that same shy look he had when he'd reminded her in the car that he's a father, and she wonders if he's worried about the fact that he has a child.

"Not tonight, no," He murmurs, rubbing his knuckle against the tip of his nose. "and ya know not to call me Mr. Styles, come on."

Justin laughs, patting Harry on the shoulder. "I know, I just like to see ya get all uncomfortable when I say it." Harry rolls his eyes, again looking at y/n shyly as he rubs his knuckle against his nose once more. Y/n catches a peek of yellow that has her heart jumping. "Alright, back to business. I'll be back in a minute to take your orders."

Justin moves to another table and y/n finally drops the menu she was pretending to read, only to find Harry already looking at her. He blinks nervously when they're eyes meet and she can't stop herself from asking, "can I see your nails?"

Harry looks down at his lap when his hands sit, bobbing his head in a tiny nod. She sees his Adams's apple bob as he swallows, bringing his hands up to the table top. He splays them out, skin pale against the dark wood and his sweater sleeve rises a bit to show off a glimpse of dark ink. He's got tattoos, she realizes as she spots the cross by his thumb. She doesn't think much of it as she reaches out to run her pointer finger over the cross, smiling proudly when she sees his nails. She knew it.

"They match Ophelia's." She muses, looking over his yellow nails that are topped with the same smiley faces Ophelia had on hers. She looks up at Harry through her eyelashes, blushing at the look of awe on his face.

"Y-yeah," he breathes. "she loves having them painted but m'awful at it. Took her to this place by m'home but she was nervous so I got mine done too. She was so happy and I like the colors, so we kinda made it a tradition."

Her bones feel like jelly with how warm her veins have gotten. She knew from the minute she saw Harry that he's handsome. He's so handsome she'd even go as far as calling him hot, and she hates calling people hot, but he makes her feel hot. And she knew he's a good dad, could tell when she read the identification card Ophelia had handed her. But she's never met any man that would willing get his nails done with his daughter and enjoy it enough to keep doing it. She's overwhelmed with how cute and handsome and sweet and sexy he is.

"That's," she pauses, trying to catch her breath. Her finger continues to dance over the soft skin of his hand. "that's the most adorable thing I've ever heard." Harry chuckles bashfully, shrugging and somehow that makes him even more attractive.

"S'nothing. I mean, she's my daughter, ya know?"

"It's not nothing," y/n insists. "it's really sweet and progressive of you. I mean, my dad would never do that."

Harry's eyes flicker between hers, dazzling blue and warm. He shrugs again, looking as if he's about to say something but is interrupted by Justin returning with glasses of water. They're pulled out of their moment, Harry ordering an iced tea and a chicken salad sandwich. Y/n sticks to her water but orders a salmon salad.

Once Justin's left with their orders, Harry looks at her with a purse of lips that looks as if he's trying to keep from saying something. Y/n chuckles, wrapping her fingers around her glass of water. "What?"

"You gotta tell me how ya got the job of singing and dancing in a costume." He chuckles, leaning forward on his elbows. Y/n, familiar with this question, tells him that she works at the radio station that puts on this carnival, and she'd done a segment years ago in which she sang a duet with a bunch of guests artists. Apparently everyone enjoyed it so they begged her to sing for the carnival and she's just kept doing it ever since.

They fall into easy conversation, not even pausing when their food is delivered. Between bites of the best salad she's ever eaten and sips of water, she finds out that Harry is a nurse at the pediatrics ward of the hospital and his favorite part of the job is the fact that it made raising Ophelia easier. They gave him lots of time off when she was born because he's been her sole parent since birth, and he's got a flexible schedule so he can always pick her up for school and spend weekends with her. He also didn't have to worry about little colds or teething when she was younger because he's learned all about it.

Harry doesn't talk about Ophelia's mom and she doesn't ask. Even when he mentions that Ophelia's nothing like her mother, and he looks almost scared that he's mentioned it, y/n plays it off with a little comment about how she's nothing like her father, but she's really glad Ophelia's like hers.

Y/n can't believe how comfortable she is around Harry. They'd talked that day at the cafe and got on well but there was no pressure to impress there. Here, however, is the pressure of a first date that usually makes her awkward and nervous. With Harry, it's not the case. They laugh and joke around, and nudge their feet together under the table. They argue over the bill a bit, Harry finally paying it to make up for the hot coco she bought him and Ophelia, but he promises next time they can split it.

The car ride home is filled with Christmas music that Harry insists she sing along to since she's "a proper performer." But she can't even hold a good note because Harry's constantly glancing at her with a big smile that has her breathless and laughing. She's still giggling at him when they pull up to her apartment, this time Harry shutting down the engine and unbuckling.

Y/n doesn't really question him when he gets out, rushing around the front of the car with a little hop in the headlights that has her snorting. He opens her door for her, helping her down and adjusting the collar of her coat in the same way she saw him fix Ophelia's at the carnival. She can't help but be endeared by the little mannerism.

"Second floor?" Harry asks, offering his elbow to her. She nods, slipping her hand in the crook of his elbow and they head towards the stairs. Their breath fogs out around them, puffing out when they reach the top and Harry let's out a dramatically harsh pant.

"Sorry, the dad bod's getting to me."

She giggles, breathing a little difficult too but she thinks it's from Harry, not the cold or her body shape. Y/n leads him to her front door, pausing with the key in the lock.

"Do you want to come in?"

Harry looks sorry as he shakes his head, pursing his pink lips to the side. "Would really love too but I gotta get home to the little miss. Never been out this late before and m'afraid she'll be a little rattled."

"Oh my God," y/n gasps, slipping her arm out of his. "what are you doing up here then? Get home!"

Harry chuckles, that same rumble-y laugh she'd heard over the phone. It's prettier in person, even with how masculine it is. "Forgot to do something at the restaurant," he explains, bringing his hands up to her shoulders. He's hesitant, eyes flickering between hers as he reaches up with one hand to push hair out of her face.

"Oh," she breathes, able to smell his husky cologne. He cups her cheek, gloves soft on her skin, and waits to see if she's going to shake him off. When she doesn't, he takes a little step forward. Y/n does the same, bringing her hands up to his chest.

Harry smiles cutely, leaning down to put a small kiss to her lips. His lips are cold but somehow still soft, his breath warm on her cheeks. She pecks his lips back, eyes closing just briefly to feel how soft his lips are on hers, even if it only lasts a couple seconds.

"S'no mistletoe here," Harry murmurs, stroking his thumb over her cheek "but I couldn't not kiss ya." His touch is electrifying, eyes sparkling like Christmas lights and y/n definitely thinks there's something magic about him.

#christmas magic #Christmas Magic 2 #single dad harry #dad harry #dad harry styles #fluff #Harry and Ophelia #nurse Harry #one direction #fanfiction #fanfic #harry imagine #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic

[angrylizardjacket]

Run to Paradise {Nikki Sixx} Part 30

30. dying is an art, like everything else

Summary: lola wants to talk about what happened, and turns to sharise, but sharise has been wanting to talk to lola too. mick is kind of caring. things seem to be looking up.

Warnings: HEROIN, blink and you’ll miss it smut, mentions of cheating and overdosing, angst

ragtag bunch of misfits: @starlalove @toofasttofallinlove @xrosegoldwolfx @obsessivesky @lovehelpmewrite @marvelismylifffe @lilytalebi @glitterdreamsz @freddiessmallnipples @crazysaladchopshop @dramatique-moi @calspixie @aryssav @catsoo12 @sweetshutter @silvertonguedserpent @shamelessobsessions @lavenderbones22 @keepcalm-and-beyou @scarecrowmax @nicholeh7 @unknownoblivion @sighsophiia @fruitinthebottom @misscharlottelee @local-troubled-writer  @redlipscrystalskies14 @kaitieskidmore1

{ MASTERLIST }

In the list of terrible things that have happened to Lola, being legally dead for a full ten minutes doesn't even crack the top ten. Top fifteen, maybe, but she keeps her mouth shut and her head down and bites hard on the truth when everyone's asking what happened.

On the list of incredibly stupid things Lola's been party to, dying outside of the Whiskey trying to get over a girl she'd only known a few months is without a doubt number one. So to save face, she tries to pretend like it didn't happen.

But it's not that easy.

The other side carries a weight; she hadn't come back right, she'd come back hollow and hungry. Not like the hollow that had led her to morphine, to heroin, but desperate for connection, for touch, like when she'd first met Nikki and hadn't wanted to let go of him, before she'd taken her life for granted. Hollow like she'd been since her dad had died, desperate for validation, for someone to see that she was doing her fucking best.

"Lola, I told you -" Sharise snaps, but at least it's midday this time, rather than two in the morning. Lola's been out of the hospital for all of three hours, and Nikki's already at band practice.

"I'm sober," Lola raises her hands in surrender, and Sharise's mouth snaps shut, lips pressed into a thin line.

"You look like shit." Sharise tells her with a sigh, but steps back to let Lola through, and as Lola passes, Sharise visibly recoils, disgust written on her face, "you smell like it too, did you sleep in a fucking dumpster last night?" And yeah, Lola considers that she probably should have showered before coming over, but the phone at her and Nikki's house started ringing and she was both recently deceased and currently hung over, and all she could do was run.

"How's Skylar?" Lola asks, looking around, as if searching for anyone else in the house.

"She's doing well, she's with my mother today," Sharise watches like as hawk as Lola moves about the pristine house with a skittish kind of nervousness, kind of like she's casing the join, but mostly like she's lost, like she's waiting for something, "look, I'm glad you're sober but-"

"I'm not here for sex," Lola tells her flatly, and Sharise flushes at her bluntness, and from Lola's rough, strained tone, Sharise can tell she's on edge; her posture relaxes.

"Go take a shower, sweetheart."

Something catches in Lola's throat at the nickname Sharise hasn't used for her in a long time. Lola nods quietly, and heads to the guest bathroom, quick to hide the tears that prick her eyes. She spends almost an hour in the shower, crying her eyes out, trying to wash last night's residue from her skin, scrubbing until she's raw, and her track marks stand out dark against her clean skin.

Still, when she turns the shower off, she still feels dirty, can feel the weight of the other side pressing on her shoulders, keeping a firm grip on her heart. For the first time in months, she sees her reflection with clear eyes, an unfogged mind. All muscle definition has left her, as has much of the muscle, the bulk she had gained over the years. Undernourished from inactivity, preferring heroin to food until her hunger became critical, she's a shell of the woman she once was, her once angular face now gaunt. It's a haunting sight, that she doesn't even recognise herself anymore.

There's a fluffy, white bathrobe on the back of the door that Lola wraps herself in once she's dry, shaking, unable to look at herself again and finally feeling like she can leave the bathroom, though the steam had well and truly dissipated.

Sharise is sitting in the kitchen, two cups of coffee sitting in front of her. Even without makeup, in sweat pants, Sharise is gorgeous, and Lola wraps the robe tighter around herself. Lola sits beside her, on a stool by the kitchen island, and Sharise wordlessly slides her a cup of coffee. Tentatively, Lola wraps both her hands around the mug and takes a sip.

"I don't think I've seen you drink anything other than booze," Sharise isn't looking at her, voice baring a strangely serene quality, and Lola swallows, shrugs, and takes another sip. After a beat, she thanks Sharise, voice barely a whisper, eyes still red-rimmed. They're both waiting for Lola to explain why she's here, but she can't find the words.

"We used to be friends," Lola mumbles against the lip of her cup, and Sharise huffs a laugh, shaking her head.

"Then you kept fucking the father of my child when you thought I wouldn't find out," Sharise tells her, and Lola nods slowly, but the blonde isn't done, "do you have any idea how shitty that feels?" Lola shakes her head, and Sharise, who seemed to be bottling this up for some time, lets the words spill from her that she'd been afraid to say for so long, "I know, okay, I know he fucks other girls on tour, but you- you're different. Even when you're not here I feel like I have to fight the ghost of you for him."

"I'm sorry -"

"And then we had Skylar, and I thought finally, finally, he loved me, Lola, me. He chose me, and you gave your fucking blessing, do you remember? You told me you'd take care of him, for me," she's crying now, angry, bitter tears cascading down her cheeks, "but you left claw marks on his damn heart; you know he doesn't love you like he did in the start, you know that right?"

"Yes." Lola whispers, tears of her own stinging her eyes as she stares into her half-empty mug. Sharise sniffles, her voice growing quieter.

"And you don't love him like you did, right?"

"No," Lola admits, "I wanted what's best for him, and that's you and Skylar."

"Then why do you still -"

"I haven't fucked Vince in months." Lola snaps, defensive. Sharise takes a shaky breath, arching an eyebrow.

"Since the start of the last tour?"

"I sucked his dick once. That's it." Lola tells her, before adding a quiet 'I'm sorry'. Sharise lets out a long, slow breath, looking up at the ceiling. "I like you, Sharise, and I want what's best for Skylar," Lola tells her flatly, taking another swig of coffee.

"I-" Sharise swallows, blinking tears from her eyes, "what did you do to have a whole band in the palm of your hand? Because I keep trying to understand, but I just can't; I know you're a good fuck, but there's gotta be more to it; they love you and I don't know why."

"You want the truth? The real, honest truth?" Lola asks, and Sharise gives the smallest nod, lip trembling, "the truth is that you won, and I don't know how to let go. I've known for a while, but I'm just so used to having him as part of my life, part of my mental wallpaper, that I just- I didn't want to. But I don't sleep with him, and I don't love him like I did, so I'm sorry, Sharise," Lola squeezes her eyes tightly shut, sniffling, "I'm so fucking sorry, but I promise I don't want him like I did, I promise he's yours," Lola swallows hard, "but I'll probably always love him in some way."

It aches almost physically to say the words out loud, to admit them, to know they're true for more than just Vince.

"He never loved me as much as he loves you, though," Lola adds quietly with a half-smile, and Sharise gives her a nervous, almost hopeful look, "I know Vince, and yeah, he's kind of a slut," though this isn't news to Sharise, it still looks like it stings a little, "but you and Skylar are his whole world."

Sharise reaches out, takes Lola's hand, pulls her into a hug, and Lola leans into the embrace, tucks her face in the crook of Sharise's neck and takes a shaky breath as the blonde's grip on her tightens. They whisper apologies, finally seeing eye to eye, but when Sharise asks why she's come over, why she's sober, Lola gives her a weak smile and tells her not to worry.

Lola stays for dinner, which comes as a surprise to Vince when he gets home from practice, looking exhausted and bitter, though his expression shifts when he sees Lola at the kitchen island in one of his bathrobes.

"How are you doing after last night?" He asks, stepping into the kitchen, pressing a kiss to Lola's temple as a greeting before swanning around the kitchen island to kiss Sharise's lips. This is the moment that Sharise feels the triumph in her heart; the one small gesture confirming everything she and Lola had discussed. Vince certainly still cared for Lola, but that couldn't hold a candle to his feelings for Sharise.

"Fine," Lola says through a tight smile, refusing to elaborate, to which Sharise gives her a concerned look.

"She spent the night in the EU with alcohol poisoning, passed out outside the Whiskey," Vince told Sharise, a look of realization passing over her face, and she laughed a little as Lola's state started to make sense; if only she knew the full truth.

Dinner is almost sickening domestic. Sharise lends Lola some clothes so she doesn't have to wear her dirty ones, and Skylar's dropped off not long after they've finished. Skylar's perfect; blonde hair and blue eyes, and a smile exactly like Vince's, she's an adorable miracle, and Vince looks at her like she's proof there's still good in the world.

Lola thanks them for dinner, and both Vince and Sharise hug her tightly in turn, tell her to take care of herself, offer to drive her home.

"Sober for the first time in years," Lola says with a laugh, "I could use the exercise."

And she waves goodbye, stick her hands in her pockets, and walks herself all the way to Mick's shithole apartment on the other side of town. Nowhere would ever be as bad as the apartment Lola shared with the boys, and Mick's place is clean, but it's small, smoky, and his furniture looks cheap. He's had a few shitty girlfriends who have used him for his money, and Lola feels a little guilty that she'd let it happen, but she can't change the past. Maybe she could buy him a sofa.

"You want a drink?" Mick asks, looking as tired and haggard as he always did, but Lola declined, sitting on his second-hand leather sofa, feeling out of place. Mick pours himself a glass of vodka, neat, and gets Lola a glass of water.

"I think I'm gonna steer clear of booze for a while," Lola admits, accepting the water, and Mick makes a noise of surprise, settling himself on the sofa beside her, grabbing the remote from the coffee table, flicking on the TV, the only thing in the apartment worth anything, apart from his music equipment.

"Probably a good idea after last night," He muses after a beat, and Lola takes a deep breath.

"Actually it wasn't just alcohol poisoning," and she swallows hard. Mick is silent, waits for her to continue, "I died."

"I heard they were saying that," he sounds like he doesn't quite believe her, like he thinks she's being dramatic.

"My heart stopped, apparently I was full-on dead for ten minutes, from the ambulance to the emergency room," she paused, finally looking at Mick, who had gone deathly quiet, his eyes wide and scared, "heart attack."

"Heart attack?"

"My second coke OD this year," she tells him in a voice that's barely more than a whisper, "do you think my next one is free?" And she laughs, but there's no humor in it as the reality finally settles in, and Mick wraps an arm around her, "I didn't die last time, this is all new to me." The words come out muffles as she turns and leans into the hug, her lips against his shoulder. "I haven't told Nikki," she admitted, "I-"

"Didn't want to worry him." Mick says gently in understanding, and Lola's rambling stops as she feels the hot tears in her eyes. The TV is white noise in her ears as reality crashes in on her, the pain of death, the hollow feeling in her chest, the disgust at what she'd let herself become, it all hits her at once, and she feels sick, overwhelmed, and like a scared little kid all over again.

Mick doesn't ask her what it was like, doesn't tell her to stop living her life, doesn't say much of anything. He makes up the bed in the spare room for her, and tells her about the diner across the road, and the twenty-four hour convenience store on the corner. He just tells her not to tell Doc.

"Because he would fire me for being a cokehead?"

"Fuck no, you're all cokeheads, he's a cokehead, but he made a bet with Zutaut the night he met us that Nikki would outlive you, and I think you dying by technicality still counts at his victory," he says with a slight smile, before turning back to the TV, missing the way Lola rolled her eyes, though she was grinning.

Somehow, Mick manages to understand her in a way none of the others ever manage to. Perhaps he understands her too well at times.

"Girlie, you know I care about you," Mick stands in the doorway of the spare room with his arms crossed, watching Lola get settled after a long day, "but you're scaring the shit outta me, and the rest of the boys; you need to talk to the drummer."

"But it wasn't about him -"

"Listen, I don't buy that you're cut up about some girl you and Nikki were with for a couple of months, but I know seeing the drummer with that woman from the TV is hurting you more than you'll ever admit. I told you not to pin all your happiness to him, but don't-" something catches in Mick's throat, and his blunt tone softens, just a little, "don't kill yourself over him."

Lola is very, very quiet.

"This band has been through a metric shit-ton, but I think that'd break us beyond repair," he pauses, "we need you around, girlie, for better or for worse, sometimes you're the only thing holding us together."

He leaves Lola to muse on that and get some rest, and she hears him make a call to Nikki to let him know where Lola is, which she didn't ask him to do, though she realises she should have told him she wouldn't be home, especially last night. Mick understands why she isn't telling Nikki the full truth, and he keeps his mouth shut; it's not his place.

She buys him breakfast the next day to thank him for a place to crash, and Mick humors her, but orders rum with his breakfast burrito. Lola smiles like nothing bothers her, but strangely enough, doesn't even feel the slightest yearning for a drink of her own. Maybe that died too.

Lola stops drinking, stops doing coke, and pills, and acid, and almost everything. Almost. Everyone thinks she's getting better, maybe getting help, though she'll just smile like she's got a secret whenever anyone asks.

In her mind, the coke killed her.

The booze killed her too, when she'd mixed it with the various uppers she'd taken as favours; the doctors had told her it was a heart attack, told her it was a miracle, lazarus syndrome, told her she shouldn't have survived. Mixing her drugs with her drinks had killed her, had her dead for ten minutes, had the doctors given up hope.

In her mind, heroin was never to blame, but everyone thinks she's on the mend, so she gets very, very good at pretending to be sober, much better than she'd been before. She'd been a kid then, drinking and popping pills to numb the pain, but now, she'd been on the other side, she knew what was waiting, and it hurt like a motherfucker. All she wanted now was to be happy, and heroin made her so very happy.

Only Nikki knew she was still using, not as much as she had been; each day she seems to get a little better at her job as their manager, and she has to stay strong for Nikki, who's been getting calls from him mom that have sent him spiraling. Lola follows these calls with gentle touches and liquid heroin, a needle in his thigh and his cock in her mouth, and they're as co-dependent as they've ever been, maybe even more so, but for the first time in a long time, by all appearances they both seem fine when they face the world.

When Lola and Nikki walk into the theater they're rehearsing in, only to see Heather with her lips on Tommy's, Lola's only reaction is to snort into her drink while Nikki rolls his eyes. Heather tries to wipe her lipstick from Tommy's lips, but he insists that she leave it, that it'll remind him of her. Something twists in Lola's gut, and she can't laugh again, even though she hadn't found it funny to begin with.

"Okay," Heather tells him, her arms around his neck, "just take it off before dinner with daddy tonight, okay?" But Lola doesn't hear his answer because Mick, from the front of the stage, calls her name loudly, pointed, and Lola, thankful for the distraction, darts past where Tommy and Heather are locking lips again, to greet the guitarist, leaving Nikki to deal with Tommy.

Mick's triple checking that his guitar's in tune, and takes Lola's soda from her, taking a long, loud sip through the straw before asking if she double checked the levels on his amp.

"I just got here," she snorts, before turning to Vince, who had sat himself in the audience, "hey Vinny, did I miss Skylar's visit?"

"You're just in time; she's in the bathroom and Sharise has gotta take her home soon," he told her with a half-smile from where he was lounging, just as Tommy and Nikki joined Mick at the front of the stage.

"You're lucky she's hot," she hears Nikki tell him, and tries not to smirk before she turns.

"You guys are kind of gross," Lola tells Tommy, humor in her eyes, and it's the first time she's seen Heather since the night he'd met her, and the first she's spoken directly about them to him, so he's justifiably nervous.

"Not nearly as gross as you and Nikki are when you're in the mood," Tommy fires back, shooting for joking, laying on Mick's other side. Lola huffs a laugh.

"Yeah, but you're cute-gross, we're fined-for-public-indecency-gross," Lola countered, "you're the real criminal here." And she says it with such a straight face that he can't help but burst out laughing, Lola's banter finally putting him at ease. Later, after Sharise leaves, and Doc enthuses to Lola about the album, and about his unfortunate tattoo that he should have waited to get until after he knew about the album's name change, finally starting to trust her again, give her back her responsibilities, and give her some new ones now that he thinks she's clean and sober. A little white lie won't hurt him, she considers, as she absconds to the bathroom with a syringe, just to take the edge off.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx x oc #Tommy Lee #tommy lee imagine #tommy lee x oc #mick mars imagine #Mick Mars #Vince Neil #vince neil imagine #vince neil x oc #the dirt #the dirt imagine #Motley Crue #motley crue imagine #the angry lizard writes

[doof-doofblog]

"Ian Is The Reason Dennis Is Dead!"

Monday 7th September 2020

Good evening everyone and what an exciting night it is!!! EastEnders is back on our screens tonight!  It's been a good few months since the soap has been on our screens. Tonight it's finally back, even though the time has been reduced from 30 minutes to 20 minutes, it doesn't matter! Our favourite characters will be back and the story-lines will be able to continue, so many answers will be given and so many secrets revealed!

But before we delve into the excitement of tonight's episode, i'm sure the majority of you have been made aware of the news regarding the beautiful Chantelle Atkins. For those of you who might've missed it somehow, EastEnders have announced that poor Chantelle will pass away due to domestic violence at the hands of her husband, Gray.

Since Chantelle and Gray appeared on the Square, they portrayed the perfect family! Two successful people working brilliant jobs, with two beautiful children and on the outside, it looked as if they lived a very happy life! But little do the Walford residents know that behind closed doors, poor Chantelle has been the target of domestic abuse from her husband. Taking beatings and beatings and suffering in silence. None of her close friends or family are aware of what is happening in their family home when no one else is around. Gray appears to have nasty temper on him, and he takes it out on his wife. EastEnders have announced the passing of Chantelle before the soap reappears on our screens due to the fact that the next few episodes will be quite harrowing, as viewers will see Chantelle attempt to escape and leave her husband. Jessica Plummer's last appearance as Chantelle will be on the 18th September. I believe both Jessica Plummer and Toby-Alexander Smith's performance as Chantelle and Gray have been phenomenal! It's a very sensitive issue to portray, but in all seriousness ... this does happen to people every single day, and unfortunately - due to the lock-down, some people are suffering in silence, being victims of domestic abuse and being attacked at their home day after day. I, for one will be devastated to see Chantelle be killed off, but I do feel it's a very important issue and it's fantastic of EastEnders to be raising awareness of such vicious acts of cruelty. What the big questions I want to ask now are, what will happen in the aftermath? Will Gray be found out? How will the Taylor family react to the passing of Chantelle? Will Gray go to deep lengths to hide the truth from his family and neighbours? I'm sure many fans were always hoping that Chantelle would find a way to speak up and ask for help or eventually escape Gray, but sadly in Chantelle's case, it will never be that way. I applaud the cast and story writers who took part in this story-line, it's a big subject and it's needs to be spoken about openly, more and more, and if anyone who views this story-line, who is currently in Chantelle's situation, hopefully they'll get the courage to speak out and/or seek help to escape. --- Now, shall we focus on tonight's episode? I don't know about you lot but I've been really looking forward to the day EastEnders came back on air! And it certainly came back with a bang!! Ahhh it felt so good to hear that theme tune again!! Brilliant!!

Awww and what a brilliant opening, Ian looking all smug and proud, putting the Queen Vic bust back on the counter. Quick question ... where the hell did he get that from?! I'm assuming it's something that could've been replaced, but me - being naive, honestly thought that the old Queen Vic bust which sank during the anniversary episodes, was one of a kind! Clearly - obviously not! Oh gosh ... look at all those photos of Ian and Sharon being landlords of the Vic! Makes a nice realistic touch, don't you guys think? Clearly, Ian has been making himself at home at the Vic during lock-down! Oooh it does look as if Ian and Dotty still have daggers for each other, Dotty's case has come up after Ian grassed her up to the police about selling some form of drugs at the club and they both appear to be going to court together. Dotty is NOT going to keep quiet for long, she will soon tell Sharon all about the secrets Ian has been hiding form her regarding her son, Dennis. Dotty must've been finding it so hard to watch Ian and Sharon together in the Vic, the secret must be eating her up to the core! 

Is it just me, or is Chantelle looking very fragile? She's very shaky, nervous ... it looks as if while she's been in lock-down, she's had nothing but abuse from Gray. It looks as if she's looking to divorce her husband and get away as soon as she can! Watching this, knowing what is going to happen in a couple of episodes time, I'm already feeling worried and scared for her. She's made things perfectly clear that she wants to the divorce to be quick and easy. Gray will still be able to see his children and they'll be living near by. This is something that does worry me, will Gray find out about her wanting a divorce and lash out? She's been told that a divorce could be incredibly expensive. Is she going to be able to afford what she needs to be able to go ahead? I know I am asking all sorts of questions, but with this being the first episode back, there are so many things that could happen with each and every story! Plus it feels like it's been so long since we've seen these characters, it feels so good to have them back again! Will Chantelle be able to open up to Kheerat before it's too late! Suki has already informed him that Gray was the one who put him up to Trading Standards, could there be some kind of conversation to come between Chantelle and Kheerat where he'll confront her about Gray's behaviour, and could she finally be able to tell him how Gray actually treats her?! You can see the fear in Chantelle's eyes as she enters her house and Gray comes to approach her from the stairs, already questioning her where she has been. When he reached into her bag I was worried he was going to pull out some form of paperwork regarding a divorce, but instead he's putting a tracker on her phone, to keep an eye on her. Chantelle clearly isn't happy about this, but sadly, there's nothing she can say. Gray is controlling and is wanting to keep an eye on her every move, he's frustrated as he has been put on furlough from his job, so he has also been stuck in the house while his children have gone back to school and Chantelle working also. How is Chantelle going to be able to escape Gray now he's put a tracker on her phone? Gosh, I just want to hold her and tell her she can escape from this! She later approaches Kheerat, telling him he's the only one she can trust and asks him for the money for her divorce, even though she can't tell him what it's for. But of course she feels guilty for asking after finding out her husband was the one who called up Trading Standards on Kheerat's company. I really do think Chantelle will tell him something, if not everything, but something before she sadly passes away. Kheerat will do everything he can to get justice for Chantelle! 

Oh Ballum!!!! Gosh I almost forgot about Ballum!!! Ha! Ben's hair has surely grown ... of course so had millions of other men's hair during lock-down! I love how happy they both appear to be able to see each other. Oh, is Ben going to ask Callum to move in?! IS THAT GOING TO BE A THING?! Haha is anyone feeling really proud of Callum? Is he now an official police officer? When he stopped that thief and stated "I'm a police officer! You're nicked!" I just felt a little sense of pride! God bless his little soul! Oh and look at him in his police gear!!! He looks SO good!!!!! I can't get over how manly he's become, I know that's a bit pathetic to say ... but we've seen him become a real man, come to terms with his sexuality and now he's followed his dreams and become a Police Officer, with the support of his boyfriend. Callum is eager to get his job done so he can go to the hospital with Ben, needless to say his colleagues aren't aware that he's gay, but in all honesty ... it's none of their business really. But I do have a feeling that eventually it will come to their attention, and as soon as they realise who Callum's partner is, his job could be at risk, even before it's started! Ooooh noooo, Callum is going to figure out what Ben did, while he is sat looking through the CCTV footage that he's been given, Ben slowly appears onto the screen. This would've been when he and Phil went after Danny and his money during this job that was meant to happen. How is Callum going to approach this with Ben? Am I right in thinking that Ben lied to him and told him he had nothing to do with it, but of course, the CCTV tells otherwise. 

Ahhh okay, so Linda has revealed that Sharon has renamed her son "Albie" ... Honestly, I think I preferred Kayden, but each to their own! Awww both Mick and Linda are adjusting to their life out of the Queen Vic. It looks as if Mick has some kind of interview or something the way he has dressed smartly with his waistcoat. Linda has been working in the cafe as a cleaner from the looks of it, while Mick has been home-schooling Ollie. It's going to be so weird not seeing them behind the Queen Vic bar, but I'm sure we'll get used to them being out in the community in a much different way. 

Sharon seems really happy where she is, she is back in her home to be honest! She grew up in the pub, it's only right that she brings up her child where she spent her childhood. It's only when she sees the Queen Vic pub, she stops in her tracks and goes silent. Has Ian made the right decision in ordering a second Queen Vic bust? Or is it something that is going to haunt Sharon, knowing it sank where her son lost his life? It's questionable. 

Oh I am so happy to see Kat back!!! Is it going to be revealed why she left? We know Jessie Wallace was suspended, but what was the reason for Kat to depart the Square? Is this going to made known? Oh and soon as she spots Ruby and Martin together, she's doing what Kat does best and sticking up for her family! Are Ruby and Martin now an item? Have they decided to become official while during lockdown together? It's been revealed that Martin has had the time of his life living with Ruby, but also she has kept secret from him that she has been having money problems due to the club being closed. When Stacey returns, she is going to be such a shock when she learns about Ruby and Martin, I already am kind of feeling sorry for her. 

When Ian and Dotty are back from the court, Ian is just slightly poking at Dotty more and more, saying that she should thank him for changing his statement, or even buy him a drink. You can see it's slowly eating her upside, how much she's desperate for him to have his comeuppance. She's made it clear now that she's not going to prison, what is to stop her from telling Sharon the truth now? What other threats could he throw at her? It's only when Sharon approaches in dismay asking whether any of Dennis's things had been returned from the police that Ian goes all scares. Ahh so, the Queen Vic bust is actually the original, from what I understand, it was recovered from the accident and sent back to the Vic where it belongs! (And there's me thinking it was a brand new one!) Later when Dotty is sat on Albert's bench, Bobby approaches her saying that she must be thankful for his Dad to help her out of the situation. But she makes a slight dig at Ian, saying that her father, Nick Cotton, was more like Mother Theresa compared to him! Which, Bobby can't seem to understand, he can't understand why Dotty enjoys slagging him off, but she makes a fair point that Nick never coward behind someone else and he always accepted who he was and took everyone else how they were. It's then she claims that she just like her father and is proud for what she stands for and believes in. She makes her way into the Vic just as Ian and Sharon are clearing the air about things being returned to the Vic, this is when the climax comes, what viewers have been waiting for for months! Ian getting his comeuppance and Sharon finding out the truth about how her boy died. Dotty goes on to say that people deserve to know the truth about how their loved ones die, Ian trying to worm his way out of the conversation, maybe trying to change the conversation and say it's not right to upset Sharon ... then she comes out with it, "He's the reason Dennis died! He locked him in the cabin on the boat and that's why he drowned!" 

Ian's eyes look frantic from Dotty to Sharon, Sharon face in absolute disbelief that he dearest friend could've done something so cruel to her and not said anything, kept the absolute worst secret from her. Dotty's words ringing in her ears. Is Ian going to worm his way out of it and claim Dotty doesn't know what she's talking about? Or is Sharon going to demand answers from Ian! What an absolute brilliant ending to first episode back on air! It's true tomorrow's episode is going to be just as gripping! What was your opinion on tonight's episode? I personally thought it was brilliant! So many things happening and I can't wait to see them all unravel. I am so glad to be back posting as well, I know it's been a long time and I know I've only done one post a week - if that - but I hope you'll all enjoy my blog now EastEnders is back and better than ever! I'll be back either tomorrow or Wednesday following up tomorrow's episode. Goodnight everyone and enjoy the rest of your night xXx

#eastenders #chantelleatkins #grayatkins #sharonwatts #ianbeale #dottycotton #benmitchell #callumhighway #ballum #martinfowler #rubyallen #katslater #kheerat panesar

[ofclaires]

SELF PARA.

Date: April 18, 2020, noon in America.

Location: Room 102

Brief summary: Claire calls her mom ! They talk about sheep. This is the happiest thing I’ve ever written and I hate it.

As Mary suggested, it was Claire who made the room look like no one lived in it – spotless, like a hotel room. However, it was not just a coping mechanism to keep her mind off of the way things had happened between her and Kass, she'd been looking for something. It had taken ages, but she'd found it, tucked back behind her desk, precariously perched above an outlet: a postcard. Claire doesn't do anything with it for days, just keeps it under her pillow, but she thinks about it. She's been rereading it a lot.

Claire –

Hope everything is well at your school. You have no idea how thrilled I was so excited to hear from Callum that you were attending college – I never got to go myself, you know, so...you're a first generation! I think they do scholarships for that, you should see what's available. I know it's been a while since we've talked, but Olaf's mom is very sick, so we'll be moving back here to be with her. And we're getting married! We'd love for you to be here, if you can.

Miss you, Your mom [phone]

The postcard is about a year old and worn at the edges. Claire never made any plans to go to Iceland. ( She never liked horses all that much anyway. ) When Claire first got the postcard last year, she’s pretty sure she broke not one but two of the punching bags in the gym – because after everything that happened, her mom wasted little time getting hitched with some guy. Some guy that was gonna treat her like shit, and Claire resolved she was DONE. She has too many memories of laying in her twin bed in the trailer, holding her hands over her ears as she waited for the screaming to stop, unable to sleep until she was sure her mom was getting into bed safely. Sometimes, she would sneak into the next room, crawl into her mom’s bed and wait.

Claire’s tired of waiting for people that don’t come back. After all, she’s been one of those people.

She doesn't know why she's started thinking of her mom so much now. Maybe it’s a result of allowing Callum back into her life or the fact that so many people are thinking of their parents, with the email that came out recently. She feels glad that her mom is semi-normal and clueless about what she does. Claire hopes that keeps her mom safe, from everything that's been going on at Gallagher. It's been a hard year on everyone, that should not be undercut, and while she'd like to say that her fight with Kass is the biggest thing on her mind...terrorism is just a tad more daunting.

Claire keeps her distance from the witness protection students for good reason. But she worries about Francis and his close friendship with one of them, and she worries about Kass, who has a tendency to form friends and attachments everywhere. She never thought she'd be glad about Nudge being totally preoccupied by a boyfriend, but at least it makes her feel like Nudge is safe.

After all, hanging out with one of those kids is what cost Amelia.

She taps her foot anxiously, whole legging shaking, which rattles the desk that she's sitting at. She knows there are things she doesn't want to die without doing, she just doesn't know if she's brave enough to do them. Claire doesn't even notice her own nervous tick until Tilly rolls over and looks down at her from her bunk. She gives Claire a look.

"I'm fine."

Disbelief. Tilly is too smart for that, and Claire has never been great at masking her emotions.

"Well, mostly fine. Do you mind leaving the room for a minute? Nothing freaky, I just want to make a phone call," Claire asks, and Tilly's not the type to be difficult, so she agrees.  But now that Claire's said the words out loud, she realizes that she wants to follow through with them – she's just scared. Granted, she should feel lucky that her mom is some regular lady in Reykjavik rather than some hired assassin or secret member of a terrorist organization. It's the little things.

Claire is pretty sure the dial tone is the worst sound she’s ever heard. She grips her phone tight, like...she might break it, if she squeezed hard enough, and she has to physically calm herself down, remind herself to breathe.

“Halló?” An unfamiliar voice answers the line. “Hver er þetta?”

Claire does not speak any Nordic languages, so she just stutters. “Um, hello? Is Maggie there?”

“Oh, hello! Yeah, she’s around here somewhere...in the garden, probably,” the man chuckles, switching to English without a second thought. “Who should I say is on the line?”

Claire likes how he phrases that, like she can make up anything for him to say and he’s happy to go along with it. She considers it, but shrugs, “You can say it’s Claire.”

The line goes silent for a moment, and she has to assume that this is her new husband – Olaf. He has a nice voice, but the last husband had a nice voice too. She’s met lots of boyfriends with nice voices, and by now, she’s realized there’s no way to really know a person until you get to know them. Instinct means next to nothing, you can’t trust it.

“Yes, of course. Hi – Claire.” He emphasizes her name, like he’s shocked that he’s gotten to say it, and then Claire spends the next ten minutes waiting in anticipation. She starts biting her fingernails, a habit she thought she broke years ago, but waiting on the line for her mom makes her FEEL like a child again.

“Claire, sweetie? Is that you? Oh my god, are you alright?” Her mom’s voice is like honey to Claire’s ears, bringing back memories she thought didn’t exist. Curled up in bed after long nights, pushing Claire’s hair back away from her face as she tells extravagant stories of pirates and vikings, eating junk food until the sun comes up.

“Hi, mom.” Ever reticent.

“How are you? I mean, I’ve heard from Callum a bit, he’s such a nice boy, but really, how are you?”

“I’m fine. It’s – it’s just been a while, so I thought I might...try your line,” Claire’s voice gets choked up near the end, and there’s tears in the corners of her eyes. She used to never cry, but she’s been doing it a lot lately, for some reason. Maybe she’s getting more in touch with her feelings, which is a horrifying thought.

“Well, it’s good to hear from you! It’s the first nice day we’ve had in a while, so I’ve just been out in the garden – I’m making Olaf fix the dishwasher, damn thing is ALWAYS acting up,” she laughs, and Maggie talks fast – it’s apparent she’s nervous, trying to fill the noise with some chatter. “And we’ve got sheep, and chickens, you would love these little guys.”

Claire furrows her brow. “Mom, you...you HATE gardening. And you also hate dirt. And chickens,” she adds, and she can already feel her heart sinking, because it’s just like her mom to meet a guy and completely reinvent herself into someone new. Claire’s seen her mom go through phase after phase – granted, gardening is a bit better than psychedelics, probably.

“Not any more! I’m a changed woman!” Claire can only nod emphatically at that, because, well, of course she is. “What are you studying again?” It’s also just like Maggie to act like it hasn’t been, oh, five years since they’ve spoken. Just launching into conversation like it’s normal, skirting around the rough stuff. Maggie always did that – avoided the tough conversations until it was too late.

“Listen – Mom, I just...I wanted to call to say I’m sorry. About everything that happened, I shouldn’t have...and I should’ve called sooner too, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, and I still can’t – I –”

“Claire, honey, please. It’s alright, I’ve – I’ve moved past all of that, and...sometimes I do think about it, you know? And I wonder what my life would be like if you hadn’t stepped in when you did, or...if I’d even have one. I made some mistakes too, we both did. That doesn’t matter now.”

But to Claire, it still matters, at least a little. As long as she still dreams about the blood on her hands, it will matter. But it’s nice to hear her mom say it, and it’s a comfort to know that her mother’s life isn’t ruined by what she did – that things go on. She’s spent years imagining worse case scenarios, the turmoil she’d put her mother through, too afraid to reach out for fear of hearing the worst. This, at least, is some comfort.

“It’s okay, I know it can’t have been easy – forced to raise me on your own, and all. If I had a kid I’d probably drop it off on the doorstep of a nunnery or something.” Was that a thing? A nunnery?

“Don’t give me too much credit, I sure tried to get out of it – and god, your dad had it easy, doing God-knows-what in God-knows-where with his shitty band.”

“Is this the part where you tell me my dad is like, Mick Jagger or something?”

“Jesus, Claire, how old do you think I am?”

This makes Claire laugh, and after a moment, they’re BOTH laughing, and if it weren’t for the miles between them, it’d feel nostalgic – like coming home after school and throwing her backpack across the floor of their trailer. She’d sit at the kitchen table, eat dinosaur nuggets and Kraft mac & cheese while her mom would put on the radio, sing along to Dolly Parton in some ridiculous outfit. Claire remembers the bad days best, but when she remembers the good days, they’re really good.

“You’re happy though?” Claire asks, “I mean, you like this guy?”

“Yeah, I really like this guy – and I KNOW I don’t have a great track record, but he’s good. He’s really good. I mean, I’m out here gardening! I have chickens! He’s the real deal, and...he’s a great cook. I know it seems sort of crazy, packing up and moving to another country, but I really love him. You’ll get it someday, when you meet the right person.”

Claire rolls her eyes at that, in spite of herself. She’s glad her mom can’t see her face. She still doesn’t know what to think about love, but she has a feeling that it’s not really for her. She’s the metaphorical equivalent of Iceland – too distant, too much effort.  

Then again, some people seem to think moving to Iceland is worth it.

“Okay.”

“Wait! Oh, Claire, what are you doing this summer? Do you want to come stay with us?”

Claire wrinkles her nose, “And what? Shear sheep?”

“Yeah!” Maggie replies enthusiastically, not picking up on the note of disgust in Claire’s voice ( or choosing to ignore it. ) “It could be fun, and I’d love for you to meet Oly. It’s a great little place, and summer’s really the only time worth visiting because it’s pretty much all darkness from September to March. You’ve seen that little video on the Youtube, with that guy–”

Claire cannot recall the little video on the Youtube. “I don’t know, I’ll think about it. Summer classes and stuff, you know.”

“Oh, of course, I’m sure you work so hard!” Maggie sounds so PROUD over the phone, and Claire wonders what her mom would think if she knew the truth about everything. Claire doesn’t know whether to be happy or sad about the fact that her mom blissfully ignores everything that’s difficult, inviting Claire for the summer as if no time has passed.

“Yeah, so, um...tell me more about the chickens and sheep and stupid dishwasher, I guess. And the city? What’s that like?”

Claire’s happy to sit on the line for thirty more minutes, listening to her mom describe her new life, and they chat animatedly, like they’re at that kitchen table or laying in bed ‘til dawn, uninterrupted by the rest of the world. For thirty minutes, there’s no Blackthorne, no terrorist attacks, no witness protection students, or interpersonal drama. There’s only Claire and her mom ( mostly her mom, going on as Claire shakes her head and interjects, rolling her eyes as her mom teases. ) Although Claire knows better than to trust a calm before a storm, than to believe that nice things like this last. She won’t get her hopes up about the summer, because knowing Maggie, there’s a last-minute cancellation already in the works.

But she’ll enjoy this moment, right now, curling up on her bedspread like she’s a little kid again. So, when they get off the phone after a while, Claire just – she looks up at the slats of the bunk bed and smiles, so wide that it makes her face hurt a little – does smiling usually hurt like that? Now she’s pitying all the happy people.

Claire gets up to pin the postcard above her desk, deciding that there’s no point in hiding it underneath everything again. It’s probably not a good idea to get excited about even something so fleeting as weekly calls, but Claire is a glutton for disappointment, it seems. Lately, it’s felt like a big piece of her life is missing, and even if this one doesn’t fit perfectly in its spot, it’s still pretty damn good, because it fits perfectly in a different place – one she’d stopped noticing because it had been empty for so long. Optimism is a feeling she’s never really afforded herself before, but it feels good.

Well, as they say in Iceland:

Þetta reddast.

#* #i redid claire's theme and its cute tho