Scary medical test came back negative 🎉 , in case y’all saw my last personal post. I was supposed to get the results at the end of the week, so it was a pleasant surprise to get them now
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♣ I'm unsure if I'll be available today. Possibly tomorrow. I don't know what activity is gonna be like for a bit.
Hospital and medical mention under the cut.
I just got a text from my uncle saying my grandma (my only living grandparent) is in the hospital with congestive heart failure. She's had a lot of issues with her health in the past year. She had a stroke in February last year and has been in and out of the hospital with issues with dehydration, utis, mini strokes, and all sorts of other things since then. There was one instance where we really thought we were going to lose her.
She's an older lady, in her mid 80s, so it isn't as if she's particularly young and she's loved a full life but...
I don't know what to do or how to feel. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her.
Im not okay right now. If I do end up writing it'll be fluffy cute things. I can't handle confrontational or angsty threads rn.
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Me: I'm going to get back into writing fanfiction for a fun creative writing outlet, while I work on other humanities and social sciences in classwork :)
Also me: Has now read at least one official medical study, multiple interest/support group and government reports, and several online testimonials re: House's possible amputation vs. non-narcotic pain treatments sans amputation, and now has a pretty good mental chart going of decidedly STEM things.
I have been tricked into researching STEM. Creative writing has betrayed me.
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Apologies for continuing silence (those of you still wanting to interact, lol)
I'm in the process of packing. My wife and I are relocating back to her home state due to a parent having been diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. We're currently in the middle of packing, getting our cards ready for the 2,300 mile trip. Please know that I AM intending to return to this blog. I'm also on my reserve laptop, as my desktop officially died back in the last part of January.
Just, between this, working over forty hours at my job per week. (I'm also losing this job, and looking from WFH- so if anyone has any leads, please let me know.)- and also doing grad school, I'm perpetually exhausted.
Thank you for staying here, and thank you for checking on me.
-regards
Jazzmun.
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Some of y’all don’t want to talk about is how second and third hand weed and vape smoke can be extremely harmful and debilitating for many disabled people.
I don’t care what you do but sometimes your actions will affect other people in negative ways, yes even if whatever you’re doing helps you.
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Just a personal vent about family health drama 🥴
Just over a week ago, my stepdad died, and then at 8am this morning I find out that my father was rushed to hospital last night with a suspected heart attack! He's the sole carer for my stepmother, who had a colossal stroke about 10yrs ago, and he's not got anyone who can keep taking care of her while he's recovering from what turned out not to be a heart attack but something related to a previous health condition...
Can the parental health drama please just pause for a bit??
*wheeze*
As it happens, I'm going down to see both my mum and my dad (divorced but still live fairly nearby each other as it happens) today, and tomorrow I'm gonna have a bit of free time to finish editing Laces for a Lady, chapter two, so hopefully that'll be up soon!
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Vision is being affected too now 3-20-2024
I've had trippy visual distortions constantly for about five days now. There's TV static overtop of my entire visual field, fuzzy halos around everything, when I look away from something there's a "ghost" of it still there, bright lights stay in my vision for several minutes, everything leaves a trail behind it. It's super disorienting. I thought I was having an anxiety attack and dissociating when it first started so I began my calming techniques, when that didn't help I got super freaked out. Hasn't gone away since :(
I was terrified when it first began! Having visual distortions can really affect your day, as you could probably guess. It makes it hard to read because the words have a "fuzz" around them and my eyes can't easily look from one thing to another. It's hard to focus on anything really when you feel like you've been flash banged 24/7.
Thankfully my longtime ophthalmologist talked to me on the phone for a bit and listened to me seriously. He told me he definitely wants to take a look but that it doesn't sound emergent, and to call if it gets worse or anything weird happens.
He also told me it's nearly guaranteed to be related to my vestibular disfunction even though the ENT acted annoyed when I brought it up. That honestly made me feel better because if I had another mystery sensory-destroying issue right now I think I'd have a breakdown. So in a way it was comforting that it's all part of the same problem, weird as that may sound. Obviously I'm not thrilled that my vision is also a casualty now- but hey, glass half full!
Unfortunately I can't get in to see him until April, but they did put me on the cancelation list so there's hope for sooner. For now he told me to use Systane Complete 3x a day, so that I will do.
All I can do is keep taking it one day at a time. Take the meds, apply the drops, make the appointment, do what I can, keep going. Keep going.
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I always forget the general view of euthanasia is soo different for people outside of canada like an american leftist will be like euthanasia should be legalized its the morally correct option and im like EXCUSE ME??? before I remember in other countries it's mostly viewed as a humane choice for ppl who are terminally ill and already dying in a hospital etc
somehow canada decided it would be a good idea that anyone who is mentally ill or disabled or homeless or a drug addict has free access to killing themselves BEFORE they get any access to treatment or social services so euthanasia here is like..... seen as a bit of a conservative way of uhh encouraging poor people to kill themselves so we dont have to deal with them anymore <3 its not very popular in leftist circles
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