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zuzsenpai · 3 months

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personal post. tw for mental illness and medication mentions

About four months ago I started having bad anxiety almost completely out of nowhere. I've had depression for about 13 years, but never a whole lot of anxiety until recently. I was also extremely restless, legs constantly shaking, irritable, and unable to focus. My psychiatrist seemed to think that one of my depression meds (I'm on two) that I've been on for three years was suddenly causing these symptoms-- maybe not the anxiety, but probably the restlessness. So I started tapering off of that med. I was extremely worried about taking common "as needed" anxiety medicines because they can be addictive and sedative. So while I was tapering off of the depression med, she prescribed a non-addictive daily anxiety med. Once I was completely tapered off of the one depression med (and my restlessness actually did stop!), she upped the dose of the anxiety med.

Two weeks ago I started feeling constantly lightheaded, extremely fatigued and exhausted, zero concentration, and had frequent mild aphasia (in which I couldn't form proper sentences while speaking without a lot of effort). I thought they were pre-migraine symptoms since I have had those in the past and the weather has been a little weird recently. These symptoms had honestly been scaring the shit out of me. I haven't been able to enjoy things I wanted to. I haven't been able to get work done at work. This past weekend I had guests over and I was sick pretty much the whole fucking time.

SO.... I had COMPLETELY forgotten that I started the higher dose of the new anxiety med exactly two weeks ago. Lo and behold, I looked up the side effects for that med yesterday and ALL of my recent symptoms line up with those side effects. I'm relieved that it can be something potentially fixable if I taper off of this particular med. But..... my anxiety is literally gone now, most likely because of this med. So.... what the fuck am I supposed to do now? Do I wait another week to see if the symptoms subside? If they don't, do I ask my psychiatrist to take me off of the med? What will I do if the anxiety comes back?

I was talking to my mom about this (bad bad bad idea and yet somehow I did it anyway) and she got very mad that I'm not trying "exercise, meditation, and prayer" as a cure for the anxiety. I don't think she realizes that my depression is so shitty and debilitating that I can barely do anything outside of take meds (which mostly don't work regardless of which depression med I take).

I've been extremely stressed as my projects at work pile up and my hobbies have been pushed to the side. I have no idea what to do. I guess I need to fucking exercise.

#zuzu note;#personal post #personal post for ts #mental health mention #mental illness mention

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reliablejoukido · 8 months

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Life update-- mentions of upsetting things, such as family illness, mental illness, and pet illness, so please proceed with caution. This is not Digimon related

I've been spiraling into a major depressive episode the past few months, and it seems to have really gotten to me at the absolute worst time. My grandpa is in the hospital with congestive heart failure, my cat is sick with either a urinary tract infection or bladder stones, and I just tested positive for covid yesterday. I can't go into work to get my projects done, which is causing massive angst. I was supposed to go on vacation the first week in September, but now it's hard to know what's going to happen. I wanted to get promo work done for the 02 countdown event and Jou weekend.... but I'm feeling exhausted and depressed and can't bring myself to do anything

So if you see me less active in the next week and a half, those are the reasons why

#personal post for ts #about the mun;#mental illness for ts #personal post;#life update;

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peachrii · 17 days

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I offer Giant Siren Mhin, who is receiving their very own offering from the 'player'

This week(or, weekend) planning to work on my au's and world building for my stories. Looking forward to it :DD

,,,

@kimiro-art

#art #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved mhin #tsgiantau #ts mhin #mhin #ill probably post the reference sheet for giant mhin right after this #how the flip do you operate this thing(tumblr mechs)#I TAGGED THE WRONG PERSON AND WHAT I SAW WAS A NAKED MAN

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the-eclectic-wonderer · 10 days

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I've been made aware of the fact that Rolling Stone has compared TS to *Adele* of all people in the wake of TS's new album and I just have to say. this is a real coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb situation and boy is Adele splitting that atom

#if any of my most recent mutuals love TS i am genuinely sorry about this post. i hope you keep loving her and you love her new album #i just personally can't get behind her at all. she sounds so bland to me #especially compared to ADELE #and im simply too flabbergasted by the news. i couldnt stay silent #oh i rly hope i don't offend any of you with this #personal #anti taylor swift

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jakeperalta · 11 months

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I have to say that for me none of this has been about expecting taylor to listen to fans about her personal life. no part of me expects her to go "oh look the fans aren't happy about my boyfriend I better break up with him". it all stems from the fact with it happening in the first place. I'm not disappointed that she's doing something I personally don't want (my opinion on her life is unimportant!) I'm disappointed that someone I'm a fan of is acting in a way that totally opposes the values she's previously preached. it's just the sinking feeling that she's showing her true colours and they don't entirely align with what I thought.

#i'm not expecting my best friend taylor to read my posts and dump her boyfriend #and i think reducing it to 'fans are too invested in her personal life/why do you expect her to listen to fans about'#is just missing the mark #i mean maybe that's where some people's disappointment stems from #but for me and i imagine many others it's more just the acceptance that she's not necessarily the person she's presented to the world #or at least those things she spoke about aren't as important as it seemed #talking #ts discourse

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qqueenofhades · 4 months

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My mom is starting a master's in library science (46 years after graduating with her BA in 1977) and is somewhat unnerved. So we should all send her good vibes and reassurance that indeed, Academia Can Be Conquered.

#hilary for ts #personal #this has been a post #starting grad school at 68 is definitely a step!#but yes we wave pompoms etc #school stuff

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cosettepontmercys · 2 months

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it just sickens me how she’ll never talk about anything important ever again despite being like i’m gonna do better! and stand on the right side of history! and will call herself an ally but won’t even talk about queer rights anymore and only spoke up about queer rights once it was publicly safe to do so! but won’t talk about the literal genocide that’s going on! or even gun control! or anything at all! but will be like hey guys look at how my ex wronged me (: buy a new variant (: here’s a reminder that he broke my heart and that i needed songwriting to get through the last year of my life (: give me (a billionaire) more money (:

#post: personal #ts critical #thinking about all those times where she was like my boyfriend encouraged me to use my voice…#and now what.#posting this and going back to bed but like #every day i’m just like… i’ve been a fan since debut. now what.

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aka-indulgence · 3 days

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Hey guys what the hell is this does anyone know

Is this a bot. Is that an AI talking

Please be not a real person

Im scared o(-(

#becauze i made a post about like ohh someone said make nf*ts and i said no #so like #this id a bot right #should i use that ai tip #this doesnt seem like a real person but it might be #help 😭

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kenas-artstuff · 11 months

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Toni toni Choppaa...

#one piece #tony tony chopper #chopper one piece #kenapieceart #it feels right to start my personal design/redesign journey of the strawhats with chopper <3 #don't get me wrong i do love his canon post ts design but like #HE'S A FULL 17 YEAR OLD REINDEER NOT A PIKACHU

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wri0thesley · 2 months

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i would not say daddy in bed but for arlecchino. i would perhaps make an exception

#although tbh the children call her father #so i would personally hc she’s not into that in bed #but she WOULD be into masc titles #like ‘sir’ and ‘my lord’ and ‘master’#thanks for coming to my ted talk #not sfw text #daddy kink for ts #nat.txt #genshin impact posting

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zuzsenpai · 2 months

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Personal post, an update on mental illness struggles

The past week has been brutal. I can barely function in any capacity. Constantly distraught, sobbing or close to crying all day. Can’t focus on a single thing, especially at work. I’m constantly woozy and have so much pressure in my head. I finally called my psychiatrist after finally realizing I’m actually having antidepressant withdrawals after tapering off of one over a month ago. She told me I shouldn’t be having withdrawal given the amount of time it’s been. I know I shouldn’t consider Reddit to be a source of medical info, but people on there are telling me withdrawal symptoms really CAN last this long. So I have no idea why my psychiatrist is so against me saying it’s withdrawal. I don’t know who to believe?

Regardless, I’m going back on a low dose of the med, because she believes my depression has gotten worse (even if she doesn’t think it’s from withdrawal). I mean, it truly HAS gotten worse. Worst it’s ever been in the 13 years I’ve been living with it. I hope I can feel better soon. This sudden bout of bad depression has put a wall between me and EVERYTHING. I have two back to back anime conventions in a month and I CAN’T be sick for these. I just CAN’T.

Edit: oh my FUCKING GOD apparently telling my dad I was having this severe bout of depression was the worst fucking idea. I TOLD him not to tell my mom. I TOLD him she was going to fucking say “actually you need to exercise and pray because those are better than meds!!” I TOLD him this was going to make it worse if I heard her say those things. HE TOLD HER FUCKING ANYWAY. AND GUESS WHAT SHE FUXKING SAID???? She said exercise and pray and go on the keto diet!!! This is making the day so much worse for me, as if it wasn’t already bad. I was able to count on him in the past but this is the fucking end of my trust in him

I’m losing my patience with people who tell me exercise cures depression. If I had the ability to exercise I fucking would! But I can barely get out of bed!! I go home after work and go right to fucking bed because I am so emotionally exhausted and in so much mental anguish that I can’t fucking MOVE. Get the fuck out of here with “exercise”

And keto diet??? Fuck you! You’re the one who told me I was fat and forced me on atkins and south beach when I was 15 and had a fucking normal BMI

I hate this I hate this I hate this

#personal post #personal post for ts #mental illness for ts #Zuzu note;

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reliablejoukido · 6 months

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Life update. Mentions of illness/being sick

So it’s official. I made myself sick doing NaNo AND having too many projects at work. I started having heart palpitations this week and I was exhausted. My heart rate was through the roof when I went to see the Digimon film and I know it’s because I’ve been giving myself anxiety. And yesterday I was ADVANCED exhausted. I woke up this morning to a sore throat and stuffy nose, and now I’m crying because I don’t have time to take off work with the amount of projects I have. I can’t even work from home for some of them 😭 and now I won’t be able to do NaNo anymore unless I want to pass the fuck out or cause more heart palpitations. I hate this so much

#personal post for ts #life update;#text post;

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fossilizedhysterics · 24 days

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