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igotanidea · 1 year

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Line of authority: Aaron Hotchner x fem!agent!reader

requested: yes, as a part of my 1k celebration: Aaron Hotchner and silent treatment.

Warnings: age gap, co-workers relationship (reader is Hotch's inferior), a bit of angst and um, well, silent treatment, fluff at the end.

A/N: I can easily get into Hotch personality, but stil find it a bit hard to write for him romantically, so please, do not go too hard on me 🥺

***

„Go home.”

„No.”

„Please, go home.”

„I’m telling you I am absolutely fine!”

“How long have they been going on with this?”

SSA Aaron Hotchner, one of the BAU most esteemed agent had only one person that could undermine his authority. His partner in both work and life – Agent Y/N Y/L/N. Not that she was doing this on regular basis, she was a professional after all, but sometimes working together and staying in a relationship as a subordinate was too much. And the scene that was unravelling in front of the whole team was a perfect example of her limits.

Recently, the group of agents have been working on a case about assaulting and raping women. Again. Much to Aaron displeasure Y/n volunteered herself to be the bait. After all, she looked young and innocent, definitely not like a trained FBI agent. Despite the fact, that whole team remembered what happened last time, when Elle was supposed to help catch a women offender, all of them agreed to the plan. Maybe they trusted Y/N more or maybe they had no other options to catch the guy. Aaron objected giving his rational and logical arguments, but finally it was Gideon who made the tough call, taking some time to walk the girl through every step of the operation. Y/N quickly got the attention of the suspected man and due to some casual flirting and playing around found herself on the unsub radar. All the BAU needed was hard proof of his guilt. Sticking to the initial plan, Y/N left the bar, pretending to be a little drunk, and started walking home, watched closely by the team, located near the area in the concealed van. Morgan and Gideon who had the pleasure of sitting in one with Aaron could almost hear his heart escaping his chest and see his clenched jaw. But he was a trained agent, no matter how worried or scared or stressed he was, there was not a chance he would ever show that. Not even when it came to her. So the three men were just spending the time in complete silence. Until the offender started walking after Y/N, captured her and dragged her inside the nearest bush. Of course she fought him bravely and before anyone else reached them, she already had the perpetrator on the ground, gat pointed at his chest, no serious damage, apart from some scratches and cuts done to her. Girl’s psyche, however, was a whole different story. At least according to Aaron, on who’s orders she was supposed to hand over her badge and gun and stay on rest until being cleared out for the field. And boy, she did not like it. At all.

“Y/N.” Aaron looked straight into her eyes with that characteristic, arcane face expression. His eyes were practically begging for her to listen, but lips were pursed.

“I am…..”

“Fine, you said it. But you’re still an agent and you need to follow the procedure. And that means you have to go through evaluation.”

“I don’t have to do shit! Don’t try to fool me!” she exclaimed “do you have any idea how many women, kids and people are still out there, being abused every day?! You need me on the field!”

“I’m sorry agent Y/L/N. I need you to hand over you badge and gun. Now.” he said calmly, but everyone who knew him could tell that there was a storm inside him.

“And what if I refuse?” she crossed arms over her chest, every action daring Aaron’s self-control.

“Listen to me, than.” Gideon could tell that sooner or later one of them would snap so instead of watching he decided to take action. ”Y/N.” he smiled lightly “you know it’s not a way to get rid of you, don’t you? It’s like you said, we need you. But we need you in your best form, quick-thinking, rational, collected. Are you now?”

“I…..” she took a deep breath and after that threw her hands in the air “Fine. Fine!” her badge landed on the table “Have it your way. Maybe I’m off the field, but you can’t forbid me helping Penelope in her technician work.” The gun followed after the document “I can do work as a researcher, nearly as well.”.

“I’m sure Garcia will be more than happy to have you with her.” Gideon smiled at her “Thank you, Y/N. It’s just two weeks, the minimum amount we have.”

“Whatever.” She hissed, turning around and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind.

“You know that is not the procedure.” Jason turned towards his fellow profiler “she was not captured, shot or assaulted. She doesn’t need the assessment.”

“Let’s just get back to work, shall we?” Aaron retorted. Of course he knew that was a bit excessive, but what else was he supposed to do. He was trying to do what was best for her.

***

The following two weeks were torture for everyone in the team. Sure, Y/N was not supposed to go with them to the crime locations, but since Penelope was more than happy to have her best friend in her sanctuary she was always on the line. And in the main office in Quantico. With the amount of time Aaron were spending there, there was not a chance they would not run into each other. Or have to exchange words. And the fact, that Y/N moved back from his house, back to her own apartment and was giving him silent treatment were not helping. At all.

“Don’t you ever go the bathroom? Or to get coffee? Or, I don’t know, to stretch your legs?” Y/N was spinning around in the swivel seat, located in front of all the screen in Penelope’s offices.

“Of course not. How could I? I got loose threads to find and pull. I’m a genius, remember? I don’t fall into something so trivial and mundane as physiology!”

“Sure, Garcia, sure. I’ll definitely ask Reid about his opinion on the matter. Besides, we both know you only wait for you secret lover’s call.”

“Right. Speaking of the devil….” Penelope grinned, hearing the phone ring “you’ve reached the Oracle, ask and you shall be answered.”

“Garcia.”

“Oh, um, hi, Sir.” She stuttered a bit, realising it was in fact Hotch who was the called, and not Morgan.

“Is Y/L/N with you?”

“Um….” Penelope mumbled, eyes landing on the girl, who was frantically shaking her head and mouthing one simple word: NO!. Now poor Garcia was torn between the loyalty to her friend and line of authority. “Can’t I help you?’

“I need you to check some names for me. But Y/L/N had to go and do some paper research. And I know you are there Y/L/N. Talk to me. If nothing else convinces you, we got lives at stake.” The girl was still silent “Y/N….”

“It’s just about the case. What do I look for?” she could almost hear Hotch relief on the other side of the line when he started explaining the details.

And only a few hours later, they completed the investigation and were back in Quantico. And once the reports and paperwork were done, the only two people left in the office were Y/N and Aaron, sitting on opposite sides. Neither of them really wanted to go their homes, but they weren’t ready to talk. Not yet. This was the first time in their relationship that they found themselves in such a situation. Of course they need that working together was far from perfect, especially in this field, and they had to do some extensive explanation with the HR, but still…. At least they were spending time together. But now? This could have undermined and destroyed everything they had or made them stronger. The odds were even on both of those options. The question was, who would be the first to relent first in this game of hurt, pain, guilt and nerves.

At that moment, she was the one to stand up first and walk towards the door.

“Can we talk about it?” he called after her, but she only did so much as to stop for a moment and inhaling.

“No.”

***

The following weeks were… well, better in some way. She was keeping her professionalism, acknowledging Aaron’s presence whenever he was around, but the tension could still be felt. Especially when she was dropping occasional cold “morning, sir”, almost like she was trying to underline that he treated her simply as a subordinate or maybe even worse. If it were Emily or Ashley or damn, any of the man, Aaron would never go as far as putting them off. And that was what hurt her the most. That somehow he believed her to be … weaker, worse, not good enough to be an agent. She did not need him to act like her shield. She was trained, skilled and extremely good at her job. But instead of letting him know how she felt she choose to act like a kid. Finally, it was Morgan who snapped. And it was only when she got her badge back and was again a field agent, not a women in the chair (not that there was something wrong with that, but it was boring for Y/N, used to different kind of work).

“Hey, look who’s back on her feet!” he cheered when she entered the office, fully equipped “so, you’re graduated from the kindergarten or not yet?”

“What are you talking about?” she frowned and scoffed

“You know exactly what this is about. Y/N, I love you, all right, but you can be a pain in the ass and you showed that quite well lately.”

“Learning from the best” she smirked at him

“who?” Morgan titled his head ,not falling for the trap. Of course, it was too obvious for him. “Seriously, Y/N, it’s good to know you are on again, there is really no one to gets my jokes like you and Penelope.”

“Oh, so you admit you need a girl in the base and on the plane.”

“Duh.” He grinned “Never said I didn’t. But…. If you want to get back in my good graces….”

“Who said I do?”

“…. Go talk to Hotch. Clear things up, cause I believe I speak for the whole team saying you two made our lives a living nightmare. More than usual.”

“He’s right, you know!” Spender seconded Morgan from his chair, not raising gaze from the documents he was working on.

“All right! All right! I’m going. But why the hell does it always have to be me!?”

***

“Hotch?”

“Y/N” unlike Spencer, he did raise his eyes, focusing them on her. Not another word, just her name, like he was awaiting her reaction.

“You probably heard, I was … well, restored.”

“I did.”

“Well, um… if that’s all you have to say to me, than….”

“Wait.” He stood up and approached her, coming as close as he could considering the fact that they were still at work. Taking her hands in his, entwining their fingers, his eyes still focused on her to the point when it became uncomfortable and she had to look down. “Eyes up, agent.” She hated the fact that his deep voice was making her listen instantly “I’m sorry.” He said and everything in the tone and posture and his face was screaming sincerity.

“Why? You had every right to do so. It may have not been the standard procedure but it was still in your competence.”

“I overreacted.”

“That’s not happening often, does it?”

“Only when it comes to you.” he admitted and caressed her palm gently

“You don’t need to protect me, Aaron.” She took a step forward. Their bodies were almost touching and it was hard to not just dive into his embrace. But still, they were at work and his office had glass windows, for god’s sake!

“How can I not? I know you are trained. I know you know how to handle yourself, but I hate seeing you at this job. I let the work consume me before and now the same happens to you. And to think all I ever wanted was to keep the one I love out of this mess. “

“That’s what happened when your job is a mission….. wait, what did you just say?” her eyes grew wide and she took a step back to scan his face. “Are you saying that…..?”

“I thought it was pretty obvious at this point.”

“Yeah, but…..” her face became softer than before “I love you too, Hotch.”

“Does this mean you are coming back home?” he smirked pecking her lips, quickly, almost impalpably and she whined internally, wanting more.

“I’ll think about it. It’s not one of those “kiss and be forgiven” situation. I love that you love me but I also need you to let me do my thing. Just like with any member of the team. No special treatment. And that means both, not being too strict and not being too lenient. Although I’m sure you will have no problem with the latter.”

“Not at work.” he lifted corners of his mouth lightly, which was the equivalent of the brightest smile for him.

“I like how that sounds.” Now it was her turn to lean forward and peck his lips. “But before we take this conversation home, let’s not pretend the case files on your desk. Guess my absence took a heavy toll on you, agent Hotchner.”

@somest1

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sgiandubh · 9 months

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Jottings: Season 7, episode 8. Just fucking try me

By TPTB's Sovereign Decree, this season is - as we all know - split in two, which proved to be at the same time abysmally disrespectful to ***'s subscribers, frustrating - to say the least- to Netflixers, but involuntarily prescient, given the current SAG-AFTRA stalemate. The protracted strike scenario (still a possibility) would have truly flunked OL, drowning it in a sea of irrelevance and effectively making all promo impossible. So, let us count our blessings and bide our time: it ain't over till the fat lady sings. For the time being, we are still haunted by Sinéad's moving huskiness. For the sake of speculation only, I wonder if they are going to stick with this option until the official end of Season 7, as an homage of sorts. Or promote somebody else, while time and space are still available to do so.

You are definitely going to need tissues for this one. And any random type of your favorite comfort food. It is intense. It is almost impeccable. SS & RR sketches are tolerably short. S is supercalifragilistic. C is giving it her all and she is just perfect. And all the rest are flawless. So, pardon the sarcasm deficit and perhaps also my less fluid quill: you surely know, by now, my struggle with encomium is real.

The bonnie wee swordsman moment immediately brought to this book outsider's mind the exceptional fanfic author on AO3. So, if you still missed Flood My Mornings, by some obscure glitch in the Matrix, do give it a try. It is one of my top 3 , with #1 being @zeya-zg's TRS (it packs a punch, takes great risks and does so with grace). And yes - blasphemy ensues - the swordsman's fic is simply better than Herself in so, so many ways. A good starting point for a Droughtlander of undetermined amplitude (what in the name of hoo-ha is 'the story continues next year' supposed to mean?), for example. But I digress.

With Saratoga 2.0 in plain, inevitable sight, I incorrectly presumed we would see the blue light mojo - is it in Bees...? more plausibly so - and I am glad C saved JAMMF's finger. My sick mind did try to imagine a mutilated limb at some point in time, failed to do so and had to reboot entirely. I am grateful to the writer for having spared me a potential ordeal, in this respect. I am, however, less grateful to the same writer for butchering up to the point of no return the very delicate scene between Rachel Hunter and Young Ian, who initially fail to get their (impossibly to reach) bearings. It feels contrived at first, reads as injudicious as trying to become proficient in Thai after spending three hours on Duolinguo and jumps on the storyline's windshield out of virtually nowhere. The main weak point of this season (spare SS/RR's endless death row sojourn) has to be the blatant injustice done by the writers to characters I wanted to see and hear more of: the Hunter siblings, Buck Mackenzie and yes, William himself.

Speaking of William, there is an epic but fleeting moment outside Simon Fraser's tent, just after Jamie gives him his tricorn hat, that made me wonder out loud. Who are you, first and foremost, Ellesmere: a courtier? a soldier? a son? All three avatars briefly cross his face and if that is not prowess, I don't know what is. Enthusiastic kudos, again.

Cynical, lunatic, despicable me ugly cried three times in a row. Laudanum. Simon Fraser. The Scottish shores. That is a lot for one single intake.

Spoiler: I must have eaten something that disagreed with me. For such an inconsistent character, Simon Fraser saved his soul with this intense, dignified and subdued moment. There is something akin to a Roman deathbed scene one could perhaps find in Tacitus' Histories, essentially thanks to S's perfectly mastered gravitas. So yes, you can cry for the sudden demise of a secondary character you had no sympathy for and on top of that be surprised by your own tears.

A death that proves instrumental for their return to Scotland. And maybe it is time we acknowledge the simple fact that Scotland never really was just a trope of all this intricate narrative scaffolding, but a character in its own right. It is alive and it prompts the kind of raw, irrational emotions able to make your tears well up all the same in Bilbao, in Vancouver, in Seattle, in Athens or in Cairo. And it doesn't matter if you could not place Inverness on a map before finding out that well, people do disappear all the time, or if you were haunted since forever by majestic visions of glens & lochs. You will fall and you will fall hard, despite all the misgivings and the shortcomings, of which there are many.

We leave them teary-eyed on a boat sailing near the Scottish shores. It is a carefully chosen and very effective parting moment. Overall, this was an excellent half-season, if you chose to ignore Mordor's endless, reckless and soulless bitching. I sometimes wish for all these people to suddenly develop an interest for origami or find another obsessable rookie duo or simply try to be happy on their own. Nothing more, but nothing less.

This Droughtlander will be a massive pain in the rear. Mark me. And I am finally allowed to hope for better sleep patterns. But hey, no regrets: it was worth it, always is. They are worth it. A lot.

Gif choice could only involve a ship. Credit given to @avasetocallmyown. Very elegant :)

#jottings

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luvring · 4 months

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Monster mhin headcannons???? Or just mhin headcannons in general I've been starving with the lack of mhin content lately

MHIN HCS 3

gn!reader | mhin time! :3 i'm going to let the knowledgeable and big brained people mostly take care of monster mhin bc I fear a girl like me is silly and less capable...

as for my limited monster thoughts it'd be nice if their first transformation was done to protect you rather than an involuntary thing and letting it act as a symbol for your growing relationship. but Who Knows at this point

i assume there's some level of lost conscience when they transform So if there's a scene where some part of them refrains from hurting you I Will Start Eating Tree Bark.

Oh...and a scene where they've transformed back and you try to help them...them flinching and confused (though their voice comes out angry? frustrated? at first) about why you haven't run away....letting you cover them and bandage their injuries... 😵‍💫

moving on. they're on the verge of if not threatening people when it comes to co-op games like pico park or heave ho, especially if they're playing with people like vere and ais. no one's ever heard them speak this much someone needs to get them out of there

window seat enjoyer :-)

secretly enjoys when you send posts that remind you of them. the first few times they're like ? what do i do with this. but learn to appreciate it even if they don't actually reply in chat (sometimes if you're like "this is u" and it's Too accurate mhin's like Can you stop no it isn't (yes it is))

"when you're complaining about someone and your best friend is meaner" or however that trend goes. that's them. very direct with saying that person sounds like shit and you should stop talking to them

mhin may not like big, loud festivals, but i think they'd enjoy celebrating things with you alone ^^ maybe eating their favourite dish (tang yuan?)....it'd mean a lot to have someone to share with again

also!! having it for the first time and them mentioning their family and the last time they had it with people... the intimacy of it all...

and !! they reciprocate it!! they do!! they take note of any festivities you say you like, especially one that you wish you could celebrate or haven't in a long time. whether it's cultural, your birthday, your pet's birthday—mhin plans something for you and 'offers' to spend time together that day if you'd like. 'offers' as in shows up and mentions they'll be free some time in the conversation

^ more for the beginning of a relationship (platonic or romantic)... it'll take time, they'd be more direct eventually!

they care for you quietly and by...noticing. folding your laundry and putting it away when they know you're busy. picking up your favourite snacks when they notice you're running out. automatically getting ready to catch you or pull you back when the time calls for it. watching you from across the room at a party and noting where you are and how long you've been gone. that kind of deal

mhin's wary and off-put by being spoiled, but if you're stubborn enough, you'll find them using whatever you got pretty regularly. for example they'll tell you they don't Need a new softer comfier blanket, theirs is Fine, but then the one you buy is the only one they ever want to use. they will pretend like it isn't a big deal if you try to tease them about it

they don't like reading things online and would rather have a physical book. not that i'm projecting or anything of course. they take care of them too and don't lend them to just anybody

i think mhin has actual bookmarks, or would at least like them. they might also use a receipt to mark their page but won't fold the corners...

they always put books back where they found them at the library/book store. if they find one in the wrong section, they'll put it in the right place themself

they can get upset, but don't cry super easily, but that's mostly because they've gotten used to suppressing their emotions. they do their best to channel it into anger instead

mhin isolating themself when they're upset,, conflicted over wanting to be happy and letting themself drown in the sadness. but in the end they hope and survive and will continue to do so

hmm... keeps information of their family and history close to them, but at some point i do think they'd (bittersweetly) share stories with quiet fondness

mhin seems like a silver jewelry kind of person but i just think they'd look really nice with gold earrings while pushing their hair behind their ear...

they see You in formal attire for the first time and keep trying to glance at you the entire night btw. they might not take initiative to compliment you, but if you ask if you look alright, they'll say yes you look nice

...? likes earphones more than headphones. can't tell you why i feel this way

light sleeper. i think. they always know when you can't sleep and they'll stay up with you. if you say you'll go sleep somewhere else so you don't bother them, they're like ..? no.

...affectionate mhin....NOOOOO... it takes so long for them to reach that point it's literally like when a cat finally trusts you and lies next to you/on your lap You Cannot Move Now. You're both obligated to stay here and don't Want to do Anything else.

like imagine cuddling them and they hug you back and their grip tightens in their sleep when you shift around. mhin burying their face into your neck and taking a deep breath. please

if you're an introvert and you both finally get home after a long day out, it's just like. Thank god. and i think they'd understand if you'd rather spend time alone to recover ^^ but depending on the crowd there will be a gossip/complaint session at some point

mhin is one of the top LI's for me when it comes to scenes of like, fixing their collar/clothes. the intimacy of them clasping your necklace, the tension and bated breath because you've never been this close. the surprise on their face when you reach to fix their hood etc.

they enjoy sneaking up on you. they end up in some corner of the room and while you're scanning the crowd to look for them, they suddenly speak from behind you. there's a hint of an amused smile when you jump

@semifilms @mitskiologist @sweet-milky-tea705 hiii

#touchstarved game #touchstarved #mhin #mhin x reader #thinking of kyo from fruits basket transformation... being recognized and loved despite it all....NAOOOOOO

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callmearcturus · 10 months

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a bunch of Mission Impossible fic recs

hi, i'm sorry for conning so many people into this fandom. here's some reading material.

Easy Open, by helenish

“So you and Hunt are a package deal these days,” Bryson says. “Uh,” Benji says, jerking his head up from his computer, ballpoint in his mouth.

Ethan/Benji. Definitely the first thing you should read after watching the movies. This is my favorite kind of one-shot, the kind that manages to convey the weight of history like a 60k fic in such a compressed space. When I talk about using sex scenes to convey something about the characters, perfect example is the set dressing around the one here where the title drop happens. Way to say so fucking much about the characters through sheer implication.

in the details, by helenish

Ethan: We have an even bigger problem. Ilsa. Benji: Ilsa. Our Ilsa? —Mission: Impossible — Fallout (Paramount Pictures, 2018)

Ethan/Benji/Ilsa. This one is so fucking dense and amazing. I love the way Ethan is just so fucking in love with both of these people and keeps imagining them fucking and feels terrible about it, you just want Benji and Ilsa to put Ethan out of his misery, but ALSO this is hardcore physicality porn. The scene with Ilsa on Benji's shoulders is better than any sex scene I've read this year.

I'm With You, by fictionallemons

Luther's getting married again at a private resort on a tropical island. Only there's a mixup with the rooms and Benji and Ethan have to share. No big deal, right? One bed. Two friends. No problem. Ha.

Ethan/Benji. I keep rereading this one because it just has such intense longing and familiarity in it. The way it portrays Ethan and Benji as a unit, a foregone conclusion even they themselves haven't quite figured that out, is perfect. Also I love the way Ethan handles the bed situation, the low grade annoyance he has at the repeated question. Benji, get a clue, my man.

Someone New, by fictionallemons

After Fallout, Benji thinks Ethan and Ilsa are together and he only wants to be happy for them, even it kills him to see Ethan with someone else. He's got to try to get over Ethan. But some things are just impossible. Mutual jealousy, mutual pining, cute texting, and a happy ending, of course.

Ethan/Benji. LOOK, THE WAY TO MY HEART IS ETHAN BEING JEALOUS AND NOT HANDLING IT WELL. Also the fact this fic acknowledges Ethan's emotional growth from Fallout, chef's kiss. But really the moment when Ilsa's like "Seems we missed the show" and Ethan says "I wish we had" ETHAN OH MY GOD. Also the subtle way Benji is needling Ethan a little, subconsciously at least-- it's good!

it takes a lot (to know a man), by thistableforone

"So I just… want to remind myself that we're alright." He says it like that, with a general we that sounds more like a specific you. And because Ethan does know what it feels like, he doesn't question him any further. If Benji needs to spend time with him to feel better, he won't deny him. Takes place after Fallout. Ethan is recovering and Benji goes to live with him to help

Ethan/Benji. A longer one, hell yeah. This one truly wallows in the aftermath of Fallout, which is where my brain lives 90% of the time, so I appreciate it. Also Ilsa pointing out why the fuck did Luther give her that speech but not Benji-- finally someone said it. But really this fic is about Benji and it breaks my heart.

magnetic field being a little too strong, by oopshidaisy

“This is strictly recon,” Ethan says. It’s maybe the seventeenth time he’s said words to this effect since they arrived at the party. “We can’t do anything that’ll raise suspicion. Understand?” Post-Rogue Nation. Benji and Ethan go undercover and find themselves in one of those spy jams that only surprise kissing can solve.

Ethan/Benji. This is the one with the INCREDIBLE passage about Benji realizing why Ethan's never been slapped for pulling the fake kissing thing on missions. Also I love how... this feels like a date. To Ethan, this is a fun mission with his Benji, and it feels like it. Benji's voice here is pitch perfect, feels like its right out of Rogue Nation.

The Missionary Position, by matchsticks

Ethan and Benji have to pretend to be a married couple for a mission. Well, Ethan and Benji are already a married couple, but now they have to pretend to be pretending to be a married couple for a mission, and the rest of the team has to help them keep their secret. It'll definitely all work out fine. Probably. Hopefully.

Ethan/Benji. Listen. This one is hilarious.

THERE, there's some stuff to get you started, folks! and you can always hit up mine. I have periphery (in which everyone Benji works with is a little in love with him and Ethan just doesn't deal well), all i need is a certain trigger (in which Ilsa and Benji are in the Syndicate and Ethan trips into romancing them both), and the big AU you'll need a new name to survive this (in which Benji is Ethan's physical therapist and a lot of things start to change)

Looking over all this, it seems my favorite thing is when Ethan is just unhinged and Benji is unfortunately into that.

#mission impossible #benthan #fic recs

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balthazarslostlibrary · 9 months

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Things that some people new to foraging fungi do that are not good, annoying, or just plain silly:

- Posting on places like reddit or Facebook for ID of a mushroom that their pet or child ate. Don’t do that. If you think your pet or child has been poisoned, go to a vet or doctor and bring the fungus with you, or at the very least call a poisons hotline. Most national poisons hotlines have people who are good at identifying fungi since this kind of thing happens all the time

- Going out and harvesting every single edible mushroom you can find and coming back with literal bags full. I am pretty avid about foraged fungi, but I have never been able to get through more than a kilo of foraged fungi before they go bad unless I am eating heavily mushroom-based meals every day, or if I spend basically two days dehydrating and processing them. When you take more than you could possibly use or share, you’re just leaving nothing for anyone else and wasting something that other people or wildlife could have eaten.

- Overharvesting in general. Yes, I know that picking mushrooms doesn’t harm the mycelium underground and all that. However, mushrooms are what spreads the spores around and makes the possibility of more colonies starting elsewhere. If you pick every single mushroom you can see, then you are damaging the ability for that colony to propagate. This is especially so for fungi that you are meant to harvest before they mature like certain boletes and shaggy inkcaps.

- Asking for help IDing after picking or damaging a fungus. You can take photos while it’s in nature just as easily as if it was in your living room. If you don’t want to get dirty kneeling down to take photos of the undersides of gills, maybe consider a different hobby. I have seen SO many people post photos on fungi groups when they are handling it in their house without gloves on. I know you can’t get poisoned just from touching a mushroom, but it’s incredibly easy to touch your face, mouth, or eyes absentmindedly, or the faces of other people you are responsible for. The worst example of this I remember seeing is the fungi on someone’s living room table with their very young child within grabbing distance of the mushroom (in this case, it was a deathcap). You don’t want to end up like point one of this list.

- Posting ghost orchids. This is less serious and more just my pet peeve, but COME ON. It looks like a FLOWER.

- On that note, asking for an ID without bothering to do a single search yourself. It will stop people like me mocking you for posting photos of flowers in a mycology group thinking they are mushrooms.

I see all of these constantly.

#mini rant #I can only see so many photos of people overharvesting chanterelles before I go insane #mycology #fungi #foraging

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alucarddear · 9 months

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follow me down a story rabbithole for a sec

alucard inventing sunscreen for his vampire s/o bc all that education has to lead somewhere

in my mind it starts with the reader as a human enjoying their days with lulu basking in the sun but eventually as they age they get turned so they can no longer (yes I was rereading your fic about reader asking to be turned by adrian what about it) and maybe eventually reader and alucard travel some place where the locals use their own form of sun protection (ie real life example: otjize used by Himba ppl of Namibia) like some kind of paste and studies it to find out what about it protects the skin from the sun and making his own paste you can use to finally spend some time in the sun again <3

Sunlight

Alucard creates a sun cream for his vampire lover. 🤍 [She/her]

Note: Hello, I’m back. This hits the spot just enough, I hope. I’ll be working on shorter, simpler requests such as this for now since I am busy. Sol is the fic anon is talking about. Check my masterlist for anything you haven’t read before.

It pains Adrian to watch his beloved stand by the window and peer longingly outside.

Despite her kind insistence that she is fine and he is all she needs—that she knew what it meant to turn—he knows she misses going out in the day. He knows she longs for the things he can still do but their love had taken away from her.

He would pierce the sun and veil it if he could—if it would allow her to be outside where she loved to be. If only.

With single-minded pursuit, Adrian toiled away in his laboratory for months on end to see his darling bask in the sunshine again. She is his sun, after all, the very light of his life. She deserves that much at the very least.

"It does not suit you to be in the shade all day long, my love," he tells her once he has crafted a somewhat effective sun balm.

“This balm is not going to give you immunity to the sun, I’m afraid,” he patiently explains. “And you do need to apply it rather generously.”

Adrian slathers a thick layer of the balm across her cheek as if to prove his point. She scrunches her nose in distaste, but nods all the same.

“But… it should allow you to be outside for even just a couple minutes,” he finally reveals.

At that, her face lit up like the sunlight that she is, squealing with utter joy. She jumps into his arms and peppers him with sweet kisses, smearing the sun balm all over his face in her excitement.

His little concoction stands no chance against prolonged exposure to the sun, no, but it is enough for her to stand out there and feel its warmth for a bit.

The joy that erupted from her fine features as she stepped into the sun for the first time in years was worth every effort, worth all of it and more.

#he would give her anything if she asked tbh #this isn’t the angst I was on about btw!!!#Alucarddear writes #castlevania #adrian tepes #alucard #alucarddear requests #Alucard fanfic #adrian tepes fanfic

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hornystiel · 1 month

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once again seeing shit on twt and i saw it here multiple times too and i just have to say

the passage that 'you write/draw/make edits for yourself in the first place and it's fun as it is!!! and you shouldn't want attention or gratification!! otherwise you're somehow a bad person!!' - sucks ass

i'll hide the rest but i want to write it all down because it's been bothering me for a while

it may be surprising for many but many published and famous authors also write because of money it brings them? and fame? and recognition? shocker right. yes, not only because of this (tho some do it mostly because of all of the above and that's why many books are shit yes come at me bro tell me i'm no critic etc etc idc) same with artists etc. and it's okay people have no problemo with it, it's actually expected for them to get paid and praised. another example - youtubers. they create shit, they are monetized, they have income etc and yet i think you heard them say at least once 'i'll release the next vid once the previous one reaches ~~~likes and comments'. and again it's nothing really. it's always your choice whether to buy that book, see that film, watch that vid, leave that comment and like. you do it or you don't

in fandom we do everything for free (i'm not talking about commissions) and yet when many creative people ask to simply reblog our stuff for it to be seen because it's how tumblr functions - we're met with the whole ass lecture that we can't Demand anything from people, and that well if you don't get shit then you're not as good because greatness always finds a way, and basically we should be grateful for what we have and shut it. it's like a Scandal every time this topic is brought up. how dare. feels like i'm running here with a gun pointed to their heads and shout at them to reblog my stuff or else. and then those same people and many others are surprised there's lack of content except screencaps and texts we've all seen a hundred times and that people left for other places and fandoms

if i wanted to create only for myself i would've never posted anything here or on any other platform. why should i, i'm only satisfying myself, right. fun! but it so happens that i also want connection with fandom, and yes, boo me, i want attention and maybe even praise sometimes. and that isn't some vile thing to want. we are all humans and we thrive on such things and yes nobody suffered from a good comment or a reblog with excited shouting

and surprise, when i see that my stuff is doing well and people reach out and people are happy or sad or just experience the emotions i wanted from them - i want to make more things quicker and i want to progress and i want to share. double win

nobody owes anybody here. you don't want to engage at all? it's your right i won't hunt you down. really, i will make my stuff regardless, it's just i don't owe anybody here either and i can choose to share only with those who are interested? and way more popular people can do the same? because why spend the energy if people only consume things silently or just glance at it and scroll down and get real defensive about their right to only like stuff on the reblogging site. dw i won't do it i'm too much of an attention whore for it and i'm not afraid to admit it. anyway it's not a ~threat~, i'm simply stating that people who create stuff can do whatever they want with it, they created it for free, 'for themselves in the first place' and you can't get deathly offended when some of them move places, change fandom just because they get what they always wanted from it, remove their stuff or lock the next chapters of a fic for the people they want to see it, especially if you were a silent spectator this whole time

idk i'm not going anywhere really with this i'm just mad how we really are 'content creators' in the eyes of many. only here to throw up our 'content' - art, fics, edits, gifs - for it to be consumed silently in some abyss, reposted, stolen, and be grateful not to be eaten by it

#fandom #thoughts in words #drawing #writing

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slightly-gay-pogohammer · 2 months

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I don't know if you've ever been asked this question, but I was wondering:

Did you learn to draw somewhere, or were you self-taught? Maybe you have some tips or hints for beginners? What was your favourite thing about drawing?

Sorry if this ask is too personal, but I really like your drawing style and wanted to ask some advice :D Have a good day! 🌸

it's a mix of both, really! i grew up loving art from the very beginning, like. im talking about making teletubbies fanarts and asking my dad to make me learn to draw characters from w.i.t.c.h. and tomb raider fandsndfs, according to my parents i had a pencil in my hands before i even started talking -- and that's what led me to actually learn to draw "properly", first in a art-centered high school (that. did less than good to me tbf but it was a matter of 90% of the art-related teachers being garbage) and the comics academy in torino where i think i started to truly "understand" what i wanted from my art style

if i may give some advices other than the good ol' "keep practicing and try to at least doodle something once a day", i could go with:

don't compare yourself to other artists negatively, especially those younger than you. it's probably the hardest part, but you need to "force yourself" to be positive. if you find yourself thinking "this 14 years old draws better eyes than me", go with "i love how they draw eyes, let's see if i can learn from it"

copy copy copy copyyyyy!!!!! copy from references, copy from photos, copy from comics, copy from movies. of course don't plagiarize people and then present that stuff as your own, but try to make a pose yours and learn to take pictures of your own hands, feet, face or ask people to pose if you can't find the right position

your art will look like shit to you, a LOT of times, but know that at one point you're going to quit. if you don't like what you're drawing, either quit there or restart, don't try to "fix" it because you'll just end up noticing more and more issues with it - issues that, most of the times, aren't even issues to begin with. letting go of perfectionism is very difficult, but at some point you'll have to do that--

and about perfectionism, a VERY good exercise we did in comics school was being forced to "draw fast". this isn't me telling you you NEED to draw as quick as possible, but it's an exercise that forces you to learn quickly where certain body parts go, to prioritize specific details rather than others. we had a model, and at first we had to sit there for an hour drawing her, then the hour became 30 minutes, then 10, then 5, and at the end 1. it took us a few lessons to do that, but at the end the super sketchy 1 minute copy went from ???? to a stylized human figure!!!

learn to draw realistic anatomy, and then make it your own style.

for the love of god learn prespective it's a bore it's a chore but as soon as you learn that everything becomes SO much easier

for shading, just. put a point in the canvas where the light source is and go from there!! if the light is on the right, the shades will be on the left

if you're coloring, play with the shades' colors. a good idea is to use the opposite color you use for the lights - if the light is yellow, the shades look great in purples, for example just don't use pure black unless you wanna go for a more dark/noir aesthetic oh my god

professional comic artists retrace a lot of their backgrounds. i'm js. use this as you wish :)

learn to draw different body shapes!!!! like getting out of the anime phase of "fat people are just like thin people but with a huge belly" can be difficult, but it's very satisfying

go out of your comfort zone. if you have problems drawing horses, spend a few days learning to draw horses. take some pics and try to understand them.

body proportions are so fun once you realize how so many things are the same. generally speaking, your spread hand is as long as your face, your feet and half the size of your arm; the outer corner of your eye is at the same level of your ear, and the inner corner is perpendicular to your nose and the corner of your mouth; if you leave your arm on your side, your elbow is at the same level of your bellybutton, and your fingers reach halfway your thighs. it's so fun

and yea, i can't stress it enough. it'll take time. art is painful, art is stressful, art can be discouraging. take a step at the time, accept some failures and celebrate any good thing - even the smaller ones. you learned to draw hands today, and you should be proud. i tried to draw a cat for the first time and it looks wonky, but the cat you will draw tomorrow will look better. i believe in you

#gio replies

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dragon-snoots-a-boopin · 8 months

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Warframe...Rant...Update

So, I wanted to make a little bit of an update to my last post which was a very large rant about the video game Warframe. This is because I had a friend spend a few hours with me on the game giving me some pointers and helping me with some missions that I was stuck on like the very last assassination mission on Demios, I was stuck on that for so long because I couldn't do it alone and could never find or drag any groups of randoms there to help me.

Anyway, one of the things that my friend told me about was this thing called bullet jumping. Yes, I am sure that it may sound stupid that I had not picked up on this technique being like 40 hours into the game but, I didn't. What I had been doing up until this point was repeatedly sprinting and then sliding. I didn't even think to add a jump after the slide. So, I practiced that and then I, on my own realized that I could sprint, slide, jump, slide again, jump again and just repeat that to cover even more ground faster so I keep on practicing that and am getting a little better.

Something else that is positive is that I took it upon myself to go out and look at build information. Not only for my Warframe, Excalibur, but also for my Boltor, Seer and Exalted Blade. Now, there really isn't all that much I can do because I don't have the mods that the builds I found and like, at least, not yet. Like, the foundation is there but there is more to go but it's a nudge in the right direction for me.

A little bit of good and not so good here is that I finally got the Archwing built because I finally got some neurodes from the several hours I spent doing Void Fissures and cracking open all my void relics. The not so good is that I now realize that I am not a fan of any of the missions that involve using the Archwing. I especially HATE the rush missions because I just get turned around a lost a little to easily.

I still HATE Hijack missions with a passion so nothing has really changed there. I've not gone back to the Heart of Demios story questline because from what I read, one needs to be MR6 or higher to even have a chance at the double boss thing I am stuck on.

Now, to get more into complaint terrority here. One thing that I find very fucking dumb with Warframe is the over reliance on the microtransaction, specifically geared toward the in game currency of silver. I say this because I recently had this thought of doing a recolor of my Warframe and weapons. I wanted to do a simple black and blue when I realized that...I don't have a basic black. Like, I have a single strip of colors that have like two reds, one orange two blues, some purples, like maybe one green and three whites and that is it. My question is this. WHY IS THERE NO WAY TO EARN NEW COLORS THROUGH FUCKING REGULAR GAMEPLAY???? Before I go into my example, no, Warframe isn't an MMO and yes, I know that. But, the two MMOs I enjoy playing, Guild Wars 2 and The Elder Scrolls Online, not only do they give you a decent amount of dye colors to work with when you start the game, but you can also unlock even more dye colors by doing regular gameplay stuff. Why the fuck are color palettes in Warframe only obtainable by spending 75 silver on them? WHY CAN'T INDIVIDUAL COLORS BE UNLOCKED THROUGH GAMEPLAY!!!! It really would not have been all that complicated for the Warframe developers to have something like this but, no, it's all about getting that money from people buying silver.

The very last thing here is that I don't understand drop rates in this game at all. I spent some time on Cetus doing one specific type of bounty because of the chance for the Gara chassis blueprint to drop. Now, I never got it to drop so I looked on the wiki and it's graph is really confusing to me. Like, there a section of the graph where it said that it would guarantee to drop 88 plus 29 stages and says something about stage 2/A, B and/or C and I have no idea what the hell the A, B & C mean here. Someone else I know said those mean rotations but what the defines when a rotation starts and ends? These bounties only have three individual stages. The first is locating and taking over a drone, the second is to find some caches and the third is to find and defend the vault and that's it. So, where does a rotation start within those individual stages? I have NO idea! I don't think anyone knows, even if they say they know something about drop rates in Warframe. That same person told me that the 88 is the highest amount of times that one can attempt the bounty and not that I'd have to do the bounty 88 times for the thing to be guaranteed to drop. I still don't know or understand the drop rate graph but I think it just comes down to doing the bounty over and over and over and oooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr until I get that chassis piece. Then, do it all again for the system and neuroptics because I really want to try out and level up a new Warframe.

Also, I've had like one positive interation with randoms since my last post but, I still believe that Warframe's community are a bunch of toxic assholes.

Btw, if anyone that commented on my last post about Warframe that offered up help, my name is Warframe in Bellasar, same as it is here. Feel free to send a friend request, assuming it lets you and there's no technical problems there. If not, let me know on this post your name in Warframe and I'll send you a friend request.

#video games #rant #angry rant #warframe

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telomeke · 3 months

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LAST TWILIGHT AND READING THE SUNSET – VISUALS, OPTICS AND ENDINGS IN BONDAGE TO THE BAHT

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Last Twilight aired its final episode on Friday 26 January 2024, and the response on BL Tumblr to how things wrapped up (at least among the majority of BL watchers whom I follow) has been a lot of head-shaking disappointment, if not exactly full-on hatred. Without the bittersweet touches we've come to expect from Director Aof as counterballast for his trademark uplifting sentimentality, the ending came across as unforgivably sappy and sugary-sweet for many of us.

And I found myself agreeing with a lot of the criticism being flung at Last Twilight – for the ardent Noppharnachionados accustomed to more nuanced, thought-provoking output from Director Aof (Moonlight Chicken comes immediately to mind) the final episode of Last Twilight (and especially the fourth instalment, Part [4/4]) felt very boxer-gloved, rushing to hit its marks but then only clobbering bluntly at the surface, never venturing deeper and lacking subtlety at every turn.

But I've been giving it a once-over, because it's a little surprising to me that Khun Noppharnach (who's such an expert at his craft) could land quite the dud that some, including me, were so uncharitably calling Last Twilight.

And I now think – as Khun Noppharnach has done so many times before – he may very well be trolling us again. Because on my rewatch, I'm finding that the narrative holds certain clues that Director Aof was possibly quite conscious of what he was doing with Ep.12 of Last Twilight. On closer inspection it's a whole lot cleverer than it seems (maybe a bit too clever for its own good) – but it does require much sign-reading though (and caveat: I'm not a trained or professional tea leaf reader!). 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, after a speed-run rewatch of the 12 episodes (just skimming the surface really, so forgive me if I overlook anything) I've decided I need to reconsider a lot of my preliminary judgement about Last Twilight's final episode (and the series in general). I now think it actually does satisfy on a number of levels (even while it continues to disappoint on so many others). But because of work and other commitments though, this post is very late (still, better late than never I guess!)

I'm not wanting to spend too much time on the text and subtext, because it's the metatextual level of Last Twilight (what this BL says about BL) that intrigues me the most. But this is going to be a super-long post anyway.

In many ways Last Twilight was a departure from Director Aof's usual work, and the most obvious was its return to the structure and content typical of a traditional romance drama. Khun Noppharnach had actually moved away from this in his output over the past few years (once again, Moonlight Chicken is the paragon of examples; Bad Buddy nodded at this, if only to subvert it and signal to us that Khun Noppharnach was attempting an overhaul of LGBTQ+ depictions in the BL industry).

Some background to start things off – BL, including Thai BL, owes a lot to het romance dramas that set the archetypal framework early on, and early BLs often followed that inherited formula very closely (I think SOTUS and Together with Me fit this bill).

Painting with the broadest of brushstrokes, a stereotypical (het) romance drama can usually be expected to structure its narrative according to the following:

The meeting of the protagonists, usually a fraught mix of attraction and friction;

They go on a journey of falling in love with each other (and we get to watch along);

A major conflict arises to test their love and commitment;

They triumph over the conflict and end up happily ever after (most of the time) or are overcome by it (and the love story ends tragically, some of the time).

As a lot of romance stories are targeted at women, typically the female protagonist in a het romance drama is the center of attention, and the story is told from her point of view as well.

And because of their het predecessors, early BLs also tended to depict their couples with a masculine/feminine framing (which could also be spun out into a dominant/submissive and/or active/passive dynamic – the dreaded seme/uke binary).

Director Aof took a wrecking ball to all that with Bad Buddy (upending the structure, subverting the conflict, dispensing with seme/uke), and his works have since veered toward more-rounded LGBTQ+ drama, centered around romance, but forgoing the stereotypical structure and beats of more traditional romance dramas.

But if you think about it, Last Twilight actually hews quite closely back to the original template.

For example, Mhok is a big, scruffy ex-convict and mechanic, stereotypically masculine – the proverbial seme – while Day is slighter, younger and a Mama's boy (despite what Night says at Ep.10 [2/4] 16.24) leaning into uke territory.

The structure was pretty traditional as well:

The early entanglements of Mhok and Day were a mix of antagonism and attraction;

They went on a journey of falling in love with each other despite their differences, that we were allowed to witness – we had "masculine" Mhok losing his heart to "feminine" Day first, with the seme then pursuing his grumpy uke (a tsundere?) and subjecting us to plenty of swoonworthy Aaaaw moments as Mhok piled on much tenderness, care and affection;

The major conflict that tested their love and commitment was actually Day's questioning of Mhok's motivations, leading to their rupture in the clichéd Episode 11 of Doom;

They triumphed over the conflict after Mhok returned and demonstrated that he'd grown and learnt his lessons in meeting Day's less visible needs – not very convincingly though (and I think this is one part where a lot of us feel extremely let down by the narrative) – but it was enough to sweep Day off his feet once again, and they got their happily ever after.

There was some padding in the middle (including the obligatory out-of-town tourism jaunt – I'm convinced BLs that do this receive grants from the Tourism Authority, and in Last Twilight we were treated to a sojourn in Songkhla). The show really had to work stretching things out over 11 episodes (which was why, for me, the pacing started to drag in the second half). But overall I think the structure of Last Twilight marks a faithful return to BLs (and het romances) of older times.

With regard to characterization, Day rendered progressively hapless and helpless as his vision declined made him easy to read as a damsel-in-distress, the object of savior-knight Mhok's affections and ministrations. It's thus also unsurprising when we were shown more of Day's point of view than Mhok's (just as we usually get to see more of a heroine's interior journey in traditional het romance dramas than her romantic foil's). Last Twilight was nodding at the past once more, asking us again to view it through the lens of an old-school (BL) romance drama.

A lot of romance dramas also tend to be intellectually lightweight – some are pure sentimental, throwaway indulgence – and if we place Last Twilight somewhere on the less demanding end of the spectrum, it's a more than serviceable example of the genre and has in fact more heft than most. (I was expecting it to land more in queer drama territory as has most of Khun Noppharnach's work, and the fact that it only half did contributed a lot to my sense of disappointment at the end.)

But as a lighter piece of trad BL fluff, Last Twilight did punch above its weight class very often. And all of the discourse around vision and Day's increasing blindness was the early tip-off to one of its weightier, central themes – that of seeing and being seen in the light of one's truth.

As his vision faded, Day found himself subject to his greatest fear – of being seen as less than his truth, especially when by all accounts he had been a storied and admired athlete prior to his visual debilitation. Day was still the same person despite his loss of vision, and he was painfully reminded of this fact every time those around him forgot it. Last Twilight deftly showed us that his early snark and cynicism were a brittle defense against being seen as nothing more than an object of pity, the ghost of his former self (which is what Mee/Me in the novel Last Twilight was also about).

There are many examples of this, e.g., when he avoided his friends after blindness set in, and his meltdown at the party they threw him after a rapprochement (Ep.6 [3‌/4] 20.12, when it became clear they viewed him as a weakling in need of rescue at the first sign of trouble, inferior to his previous incarnation as an athletic champion). The story arc with August's feigned romantic interest was also another of Day's nightmares coming true, being exactly the sort of innocently insulting and unconsciously condescending treatment he was trying to avoid.

And of course this was the reason behind his break-up with Mhok in Episode 11, when he sensed that Mhok's care and concern were in part tied to a notion of Day as being less than whatever the nebulous concept of "normal" was in his head. (For context, Mhon and Day have an exchange about the meaning of a "normal" life for Day at Ep.10 [2/4] 7.35), Mhok talks about Day wanting to be "normal" at Ep.11 [1‌/4] 10.22, and Mhon reminds Day of his wish to be "normal" at Ep.12 [3‌/4] 16.29). Despite – or maybe because of – how objectionable the word may be, I think Last Twilight is inviting us to question our ideas about it too.)

So a large part of Day's story arc involved him overcoming his own hang-ups and dealing with how he was seen by the world around him, to stand in the light of his own truth (as a proud member of the differently abled community).

Mhok's character also had a parallel journey. Excluding those who knew him well, society refused to see beyond his rough-hewn persona (and his prison background too, it must be said). His options in life were thus limited by how he was always seen as an outsider, and subjected to othering because his presence was invariably associated with negativity, risk and harm.

But as Mhok demonstrated time and again, his truth (that for the longest time only Porjai and maybe Rung could seem to see) was far less violent and menacing than what was read by the people around him. And his character's journey toward self-actualization in Last Twilight was to arrive at a life truer to his inner self, noting that what we see at the beginning of the series is Mhok trying valiantly to live up to his ruffian image, prone to fights and aggression. With this, it's possible to read that Mhok himself was unable to comprehend fully his own inner impulses, and it was only his time as caregiver and later faen in Day's life that opened his eyes to living out his more nurturing, other-focused energy within (and that must have served him well too, in his later career as a chef crafting dishes for others to enjoy).

In contrast to Day, whose struggle was also about being seen for his truth while cast (by others) in a negative light, Mhok chose to align himself with whatever role the world put him in (whether it was a rabble-rouser mechanic, a straight boyfriend to Porjai, or a guardian to the infantilized Day) whereas Day chose to reject any outsider-determined identity outright. And Mhok failed at his roles mostly because they were inauthentic to his truth, except for his time as Day's caregiver. For the first time there Mhok's failure was different, not because the caregiving recognized his own truth (coming from kindness and softness within) but because it did not recognize Day's truth (as his approach to taking care of Day still perpetuated the invalidation of Day's wholeness as a person).

Mhok and Day's names are also a quiet hat tip to this – with Mhok's name (หมอก, that means fog or mist) also a metaphor for how visibility of the truth behind his amorphous self was obscured for the longest time, while Day's name (actually the English word day, with all its connotations of light and clarity) is a metaphor for how he was clear about his own truth and identity from the start, but needed to be seen correctly, undistorted by any filter of shame or pity.

However, GMMTV's commercial insistence on pair branding worked somewhat against the characterizations – my read is that Day was probably written as much more fragile in appearance (belying the tough athlete that he really was beyond surface impressions, and explaining the tendency of his friends, family and caregivers to want to infantilize him post-blindness). As an aside, badminton is one of those sports that forgives a certain delicacy of frame, as it rewards lightness and agility more than brute strength on the court. Meanwhile Mhok was (I think) written as this big beast of a man whose appearance would scare off all but the most foolhardy, meaning that his innate kindness and sensitivity would remain unseen by most.

Unfortunately Sea is built pretty sturdily as an actual badminton athlete (and he's tall as well) while dermatologist Jimmy is just too porcelain-skinned and delicate-featured pull off any convincing evocation of physical brutishness. Pity, because the pair do have chemistry and their acting was mostly credible in Last Twilight (especially from Sea, who brings an easy and natural charm to his portrayals).

Anyway, I can suss out two visual metaphors in the series that illustrate the ideas described above. But as the analysis of these metaphors is also long, I've moved it all away into its own post linked here: The Fishtank and the Flowers. I found both metaphors to be fascinating (the goldfish aquarium, as well as the pairing of the jasmine with the sunflower), but it was the blooms especially that took me by surprise (when it became clearer which was assigned to Mhok and which to Day). 🤩

So while we're on the characters though, here's an aside about the criticism of how Mhok was treated by the narrative and the outrage surrounding his apology at Ep.12 [2/4] 10.55. Yes, he had been a selfless caregiver and a caring lover, but there were also numerous examples of him treating Day as less than an adult with his own agency, doing to Day what August, Mhon and the replacement caregiver (Assistant Director Meng Chaiyapat's extended cameo, at Ep.10 [2/4] 0.27) had done, by controlling the playbook and removing Day's choice and say in matters directly related to his own life. Some examples of where Mhok fell short:

Pretending not to find the copy of Last Twilight in the Chatuchak secondhand bookstore, gaslighting Day into believing it was his own discovery (Ep.3 [3‌/4] 9.41) – you might lie to a kid about Santa Claus (and I'm divided about that), but nevertheless Day was not a kid and should not have been treated like one.

Lying about Night's involvement in their plan to see Mount Veha (Ep.8 [1‌/4] 17.34) – more gaslighting.

Going back on his word and telling Mhon and Night about Day winning the dancing garland (Ep.11 [4/4] 7.35) – this was just plain disrespectful, especially after Day had shared his mixed feelings about the "win" (Ep.11 [4/4] 1.45).

Taking advantage of Day's blindness to prank him (Ep.11 [3‌/4] 7.32 and Ep.11 [4/4] 3.38) – unless Day liked surprises (of which I see no sign) laughs derived from exploiting someone's vulnerabilities are never to be lauded (please don't jumpscare the blind, people).

And the ultimate – lying about the job offer in Hawaii, which was the last straw for Day (Ep.11 [4/4] 10.51).

All the above might have come from a place of love, motivated out of the goodness of Mhok's heart – but even if they were meant to uplift or support Day, his actions were all disrespectful (even damaging) to Day's own agency and personal situation as someone struggling with visual disability.

In this light (pun intended) I had to re-think my judgement of Mhok's apology to Day in Ep.12, because he did need to learn to care for Day on terms acceptable to Day as well, and not have expected him to give that up just because he needed care.

Now because it's Khun Noppharnach, it will always be possible to give a queer reading to his work. So Day's dread at being seen as less than what society perceives as "normal", and Mhok's struggle with his status as the feared and misunderstood "other", can both be read as stand-ins for (some parts of) the LGBTQ+ experience, where full acceptance of the queer minority has yet to become the norm for most, if not all, societies. But I guess that should be obvious to all by now.

Anyway, there's a whole lot more burbling within Last Twilight that can be explored at length, but as I've gone on too long already I'm simply going to mention them here and then skip on:

The novel Last Twilight that features so prominently everywhere within the series (that not-so-coincidentally shares its name) is rich with significance as a parallel to (and comment on) Mhok and Day's own story, especially with Mee/Me's struggle to be seen in a world often blind to her presence.

Day becoming increasingly unseen as the neverending night of blindness became his defining identity is mirrored by Mee/Me needing to step away from darkness in order to be seen by the world around her (and her light-chasing is also a parallel for the sun-seeking of the sunflower, Day's totemic bloom, and in that way another metaphor for Day's reliance on external validation – see this write-up linked here for more elaboration on that aspect of Day's personality).

Day's blindness was not at all the first time Khun Noppharnach has used a form of health-related affliction as a metaphor for the queer condition, highlighting the parallels of the LGBTQ+ experience with the social model of disability. Other examples of this in his work include Heart's deafness in Moonlight Chicken, Tian's and Med's heart conditions in A Tale of Thousand Stars and He's Coming to Me respectively (the latter maybe less so though) and Pran's obsessive-compulsive disorder in Bad Buddy.

Also in He's Coming to Me, Med's predicament as a ghost subject to all sorts of constraints in the world of the living, as well as his invisibility to those insensitive to his situation, was a parallel with Last Twilight's theme of being seen for your true self even as the wider world imposes restrictions on you, and is similarly an allegory for the LGBTQ+ experience as well.

Last Twilight's ideas about seeing and being seen correctly were also touched on (somewhat briefly) in Bad Buddy, in the discourse around Ink's camera, photography and Pat/Pa's contact lenses.

Mhok's journey was milestoned with numerous examples of the food = love trope, in which he could be seen giving of himself through the creation of dishes and meals for others.

(above) Last Twilight Ep.11 [2/4] 0.39 – Mhok's gift of Black Chicken Soup (ซุปไก่ดำมา) to Porjai is but one of many examples in the series of him showing his love to others through his cooking; in this instance Black Chicken Soup (made by double-boiling silkie chicken with medicinal herbs) is a traditional Chinese preparation, warm and comforting, that is considered particularly nourishing for moms newly post-partum and is also popular in Thailand for the same reason

This is paralleled also by Mhon and her career as a chef (especially when she ladled soup out for her ex-husband in Ep.12, which is a bittersweet Noppharnach touch with reams of cultural backstory – but that's fodder for another post though).

And Assistant Director Au Kornprom's cameo as chef-de-cuisine in Singha's hotel continues a meta-level portrayal of his role in BL as some sort of leader, instructor, teacher or creator with a select group as the intended beneficiaries of his work (see these links here and here for other examples).

(above) Assistant Director Au Kornprom Niyomsil pops up in a cameo as Chef Tom in Last Twilight Ep.11 [2/4] 9.47

I think Director Aof is announcing that Khun Kornprom is his designated successor as the next generation BL director at GMMTV who will (perhaps) be carrying on a measure of queer activism within his own output.

And that brings me to what I think Last Twilight might be saying on a metatextual level.

What I'm going to be babbling on about here reaches not only into Last Twilight for some clues as to its comments about the wider BL industry, but also to some messaging in Khun Noppharnach's earlier (though still recent) work, because I think it all does come together to paint a picture of some significance.

In the names and chromatic metaphors of Moonlight Chicken (see this link here), Director Aof signaled that unseen persons in authority were increasingly making their political presence felt, especially where financial motivations were concerned (caveat: I think this is a reference to power play within GMMTV and perhaps the BL industry itself, not a comment on the wider political scene in Thailand).

And Director Aof's various cameos in MLC (written up here) as well as its themes of generational renewal and the struggles to leave the past behind, also seemed to be messaging that some of this conflict between artistic/activist directions and commercial considerations were possibly taking a personal toll even as he continued his career within the BL industry.

I would have left it at that, but then when the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars episodes had their turn on our screens in 2023, it became clear that Director Aof was saying something quite forcefully about the telling of queer stories in the media, especially in situations when queer people have less control over the narrative (as is the case with Y-series churned out by commercial studios for mass market consumption; see this write-up here for the analysis).

So based on the above together, this is my read of the situation.

Khun Noppharnach has been signaling that because of the profit motive, queer creators in the BL world are under increasing pressure from higher up to return to more commercially-lucrative storytelling, perhaps in the form of more stereotypical romances the way Last Twilight was structured. (Whether this pressure is from within the producing organization or from the wider political sphere I do not know nor wish to speculate.)

As a consequence, QL shows are being made to veer away from recounting stories that are authentic to the LGBTQ+ experience (which was the warning embedded in Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars), dialing back content that speaks with a queer voice to queer people (though of course non-queers are welcome to watch along, because after all a good story is a good story).

If the above is true, then the tidal pull of commercial goals may soon be dragging more output back toward the more romanticized imaginings of same-sex love seen before in formulaic (but arguably more profitable) BLs of old, with an emphasis on catering to mass market demand (largely represented by – whether rightly or wrongly – marketing perceptions of the cishet female teen gaze).

And all of this circles back to Last Twilight, which is an example of this return to the past, and perhaps explains in part why its ending feels so unsatisfactory for a lot of us.

I'm very much convinced at this point that the finale (with its hated timeskip, Mhok's spiffed-up but stagey return, his emotionally hollow reconciliation with Day, and especially all the schmaltzy vignettes post-couplehood part deux) is but a conscious reaction to political gameplay from echelons above. For Last Twilight, I'm sensing (guessing?) that Director Aof and his team were coerced not just to stay faithful to the traditional formula of BLs past, but also to shove in an unmitigated Happily Ever After for the branded pair of JimmySea, without any of the hallmark Noppharnach countercurrents to undercut the sweetness (or else).

And perhaps in a burst of inspired-slash-malicious compliance, the team took on the mandate for the HEA and ran with it, churning out a saccharine, nutritionally-deficient lump of candy and unceremoniously tacking it on as the ending of what had otherwise been a fairly measured and self-aware BL from the start. And it really sticks out – but I think it was meant to.

I may be misreading the tea leaves again, but to me the signs of the above are myriad. Here's some of what I think Director Aof is telling us about Last Twilight's subversion of the ending, embedded within the narrative and visuals:

Master Aon's name is signaling (to me at least) a parallel with Director Aof's name (Aon/Aof, On/Off, Onscreen/Offscreen, get it? 😆). He even has a similar look, with his wispy mustache, earring and floppy hair.

Noting that Aon was a respected, good-natured guru who'd already trodden happily the path that Day was on, this reads like a rendering of Director Aof's own role (that I'm tempted to say is self-defined, though it's my own reading really) as a queer elder imparting the wisdom of his own experience to younger queer people viewing his work. (Also, both Aon and Aof are gurus of BL who've had their vision stolen from them.) And if Kruu Aon was recommending acolyte Day to read the novel Last Twilight for the metaphorical lessons within (we were reminded of this many times: see Ep.3 [2/4] 9.08, Ep.8 [4/4] 1.07 and Ep.9 [4/4] 9.26), I think Kruu Aof is recommending that we look at the series Last Twilight more closely as well to learn of something similar.

Last Twilight the series is full of references to endings. And if the novel Last Twilight has been signaled as the roadmap to Director Aof's thinking behind the series, the missing last page and epilogue in Day's copy suggests that – just like the book version – Last Twilight the series is actually (and deliberately) open-ended.

But the messaging doesn't just stop there. We are also called upon to manifest the ending we want (if what we're presented with doesn't meet our expectations). For example, Mhok hated the ending of Last Twilight the novel (although Day liked it –see Ep.9 [4/4] 13.23). And he then conflated this with his disappointment at the lackluster twilight on Mount Veha as well.

But through the power of imagination Day helped Mhok see the beauty of the sunset there (Ep.9 [4/4] 16.28) – on one level it's a trite "Life is what you make it" sort of statement, but on another it also reads like a call to action ("You can change what you don't like"). And I like to think it also embodies Last Twilight's theme of recalibrating your own way of seeing things, and looking beyond surface visuals to find the truth that speaks to you (which, in a sense, is what I'm doing now, hah!). But when applied to Last Twilight at a meta level – I think we're also being reminded that a picture-perfect ending (such as Last Twilight's Ep.12 [4/4]) can also hide the reality of gloomy clouds behind the artifice overlaid by human intervention.

Another sign that the ending of Last Twilight deserves a closer look is all the flapping about between innkeeper Cherry, Mhok and Day around the missing last page of Day's book in the Ep.9 [4/4] scene starting at timestamp 2.38.

(above) Last Twilight Ep.9 [4/4] 3.11 – Cherry tears out the last page of her copy of the novel and forces it on Mhok and Day

I'm putting in a detour for a closer look at Cherry here. She was the unsentimental custodian of her father's guesthouse, with a personality that blew hot and cold (like the weather in the south, referenced at Ep.9 [4/4] 2.12). The guesthouse seemed comfortable enough, although Mhok found it less than welcoming (Ep.9 [3‌/4] 6.39). And Cherry herself was also a strange mix of brusque and friendly. She was more concerned about cash than MhokDay's lack of shelter at Ep.9 [3‌/4] 7.36, but warmed up to them later when they explained their Mount Veha quest (allowing them to stay, treating them to a musical evening with her guitar, and accepting the payment deferral). She preferred the old way of doing things (cash only, no online transfers) and had once hosted David, the author of Last Twilight the novel, at the guesthouse.

Based on the above, I'm thinking that Cherry is a representation of Director Aof's dual role at GMMTV, where he is both a creative (director and sometime screenwriter) as well as part of management (senior director of content production, at time of writing). And in Last Twilight we see this duality acknowledged both in Cherry's mercurial double nature, as well as in the capricious weather of Songkhla. The guesthouse, on the other hand, is a representation of GMMTV itself. On the management side, Director Aof has to make and/or implement decisions on behalf of the company even though it isn't really his (just as Cherry runs what was once her dad's). GMMTV is warm and hospitable enough to the performers in its stable, but as a commercial enterprise it has to prioritize financials above most (if not all) other considerations (symbolized by the guesthouse's paradoxically comfy yet unwelcoming air, and also Cherry's indifference to MhokDay's cashless plight). Director Aof's creative focus is the arts (represented by Cherry's musical interlude) but GMMTV itself prefers the old ways of making money, i.e., old-style BLs (and this is symbolized by the guesthouse unwilling or unable to explore new ways of collecting rent with no online transfers). And just as the guesthouse hosted David, whose bittersweet ending to Last Twilight the novel wasn't satisfying to salt-of-the-earth Mhok (standing in for the tastes of the mass market), GMMTV also hosts under its roof Director Aof, the auteur behind Last Twilight the series (whose original ending I suspect may not have pleased other GMMTV bigwigs in management, and who then enforced a change). Some of this is illustrated in part by the scene just before Mhok and Day departed from the guesthouse. When Mhok and Day asked Cherry to keep her autographed copy of the novel, she instead tore out the (signed) ending from her book and thrust it into their hands. And when Day asked if it had a happy ending – she jokingly tried to grab it back, saying "Find the ending yourselves." To me this is a metaphor that the original ending of Last Twilight the series is actually unknown to us, and the ending we got was forced into the narrative from the outside (because it's what the fans want, according to GMMTV speaking in Cherry's voice at Ep.9 [4/4] 3.15 – "I think it's more important to you than me"). And it has official sanction too (symbolized by the author's signature), indicating that Director Aof (David in another incarnation) may not have had a choice (since we're shown that the author's stamp of approval was artificially inserted into a different book instead). It also suggests (in the "Find the ending yourselves") that Director Aof was aware of how that artificial transplantation was going to be negatively received by some diehard Noppharnach fans, and he's saying to us – "Take the ending that's been given you", but at the same time "Find your own meaning in it".

And then Day tells us in no uncertain terms basically the same message, at Ep.12 [4/4] 3.37 ("We were made to discover our own preferred version of the novel’s finale").

The narrative actually tells us quite boldly in the first part of Episode 12 that we can expect the finale to start unraveling because of outside interference – I actually think this is the message behind Director Aof's cameo at Ep.12 [1‌/4] 10.01:

Mocked up as a hotel porter, Director Aof offered a guiding hand to Day – but at timestamp 10.06 Mhok suddenly inserted himself into the scene in an act of direct supplantation:

(above) Last Twilight Ep.12 [1‌/4] 10.06 – Mhok steps in and supplants hotel porter Aof (he of the white gloves)

To me this was unambiguously signaling that from this point onward the proceedings would no longer be under the guiding hand of Khun Noppharnach. In addition, hotel porter Aof's gloved hands were pure white, unbesmirched and free from stain, conveying the message that Director Aof was innocent and blameless of the plot shenanigans that were to follow. To underscore the point, we were then shown Day taking a misstep under new (non-Aof) guidance at Ep.12 [1‌/4] 11.20:

(above) Last Twilight Ep.12 [1‌/4] 11.20 – Day stumbles without hotel porter Aof's guidance, even as Last Twilight the series begins to falter

This was jarringly out of tone, given Day's confidence in his life as a blind person, as well as Mhok's previous – and very conscientious – stint as caregiver to Day the first time around (he would instinctively stand between Day and any physical risk, and place a protective hand over protrusions that Day might bump his head on, for example). The message from this visually dissonant moment is that we should expect the ending to stumble as well, without Khun Noppharnach guiding the process.

So what can we make of the ending with this in mind? I can live with the timeskip, Mhok's return, and the eventual reunion of our main pair. These are all somewhat expected beats in a standard romance drama – and if that's what Last Twilight is setting itself up as, I won't begrudge it the tropey hallmarks that some do love (though I do think some parts could have been handled better). I even liked the airport run for all of its brash, silly sentimentality (yes, Love Actually is one of my favorite films).

But where I think Last Twilight really falls off a Veha cliff is when it starts lobbing at us a plethora of candy-sweet dreams unrealistically brought to life, one after another, in Ep.12 [4/4]. We have:

Ep.12 [4/4] 0.51 – Surprise! Day can see;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 1.18 – Multiple scenes showing Day rejoining the world of the sighted, enjoying activities that were once denied to him (like reading and badminton) both alone and in the company of loved ones;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 4.01 – Family time! Mhok introduces Day as his partner to his deceased family at their memorial niches, and then we see Mhok very much integrated into Day's family (signified by his pasta dish receiving chef Mhon's stamp of approval) even as we see Night and Porjai joyfully announcing another imminent addition to the numbers;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 8.06 – Mhok and Day get a Mount Veha do-over, talk about the novel's ending and then act out the ending to their own love story.

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It's all just too, too fairytale, with happy news piled atop happy news, and just reeks of artificial sap and fakery.

But that's just it – I think that Director Aof and team were actually faking it. Remembering that the novel Last Twilight's full title is Last Twilight: Until the Last Light Goes Out, take a look at how each of the above little snippets of happiness is finished off – each draws to a close with its own Fade-to-Black.

Now the Fade-to-Black is a device borrowed from theater – in a stage play snuffing the lights for a few minutes of total darkness allows scenes to acquire a sense of separation, completion and closure while giving the crew time to change the sets. But here in Last Twilight it feels like we're being pitched happy ending after unrelated happy ending, each competing with the previous in the too-good-to-be-true stakes.

In the title of the novel, we're told to hold on until the last light goes out. Just when is that last light exactly though? There are so many here that each Fade-to-Black begins to feel not just like closure, but like a little death each time. (Also pertinent to note: MhokDay's kiss under that glorious sunset at Ep.12 [4/4] 13.26 gets replaced by a sky of gray clouds instead at Ep.12 [4/4] 13.37.)

Director Aof is really hammering home his point that traditional Happily Ever Afters in romance stories can be shallow and unsatisfactory, and is making us miss the trademark melancholy that propped up the wistful sentimentality in the closing scenes of his previous works.

However, much of the above is what Last Twilight is saying about Last Twilight.

At the metatextual level, what the show is communicating about BLs as a whole is even more somber. I think Director Aof is messaging that for the BL industry to head toward a happy, satisfying ending (if it really is being pushed down to lowest common denominator levels by commercial interests), it's up to us the viewers to manifest that and make it happen (just as Mee/Me and Day did for their own stories). How this might be done, I do not know. Lobbying GMMTV perhaps? Complaining ever more loudly about what this did to Last Twilight when it could have been so much more?

I rather suspect that unfortunately our numbers may not be sufficient to bring about change – the majority of Last Twilight fans actually seemed to like the final wrap-up and its fairytale ending (at least based on the reviews I've seen on MyDramaList). It's only among the more adult (and dare I say it – discerning?) viewership here in the BL sphere on Tumblr are we seeing more robust critiques of the series, mourning the greatness that could have been.

Last Twilight was a good BL all the way up to Ep.12 I think. And then it looks like we were purposely let down, to make a point about BL endings. As always, Director Aof is having the last laugh – and he lets us know this during the end credits.

For it's then that we see the various photographs that were taken by characters throughout the series but never shown to us before (it's strangely moving, and makes me think of the ending to Cinema Paradiso when Salvatore finally gets to view the priest's cut in one long montage as a final gift from Alfredo beyond the grave).

(above) The end credits of Last Twilight, replaying the scenes where the characters were photographed, alongside the images captured in the moment that hitherto were not shown to us

It's in the ending that we're finally getting to see the director's point of view (and hidden message) from his vantage point behind the camera, just as we're only getting to see those photographs (that were originally unseen by their subjects, and privy only to the one taking the photograph) right at the very end.

And the final shot? We get the whole cast and crew making the "span" gesture (that an almost-sightless Day used to approximate the distance at which he could still make things out visually, before his vision left him totally).

It's a loving salute to Last Twilight for sure, but can we perhaps detect a hint of mockery in the way it also resembles the Forehead-L for Loser gesture from the 1990s? Or a hint of a threat in the way it looks like a gun cocked and pointing? The gesture is also Thai sign language for the letter ล, which is somewhat the equivalent of the letter 'L'. And with so many 'L's or 'ล's in that shot, it's making me think of 'LOLOLOL' and also ลล standing in for ล้อเล่น/laaw len, which means Just kidding.

Is it all just a coincidence? I wouldn't put it past Aof for it not to be. But whatever it all means, I really do think he's having a hearty (if somewhat bitter) last laugh. 😔💖

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#last twilight #mhokday #aof noppharnach chaiyahwimhon #reading the signs #of seeing and being seen #this is a bit of a clown post 🤡#a whole lot of speculation #and maybe some retconning #but also food for thought #finding my own version of the ending

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byrhop · 11 months

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Why were California and Russia plots so important

I’ve seen a lot of people complaining last summer about how the Russia and California plots were unnecessary and just a waste of time. I’m here to dive in into the brain of the duffers and tell you exactly why they did this and why it was the exact opposite.

I have 3 main points to make:

1. Developing Vecna’s background

The duffers are smart and probably already had the idea about what s4 and 5 are gonna be about while writing s3 and maybe even earlier. So put yourself in their shoes, they want to introduce this big bad that will end up being the mastermind behind everything and they need time to introduce him properly.

Now imagine this: Will, El, Joyce and Hopper are in Hawkins and the planned story for s5 would have to immediately get into motion. What’s the story? Due to the play, we can guess that Joyce and Hopper knew Henry. The dots would be connected much sooner, leaving no time for us to have a question mark over our heads trying to figure out how the Creels play into all of this.

Another thing is our dear William Byers. We know he’ll be very important in s5 and there is no way Joyce knowing Henry wasn’t connected to his s1 disappearance. Will is connected to Henry, if he were in Hawkins, this plot would start immediately. We’d have to find out more about the connection sooner, Will would again be put through supernatural hell and we’d most likely be introduced to him struggling with his sexuality through vecna which i would hate. Like this we at least got a glimpse into Will already figuring it out on his own and even accepting it.

If El hadn't lost her powers and stayed in Hawkins, she would immediately locate vecna and he would probably remind her of everything that happened… and there goes all of your time to introduce Vecna slowly with a mysterious effect to him, we’d have the same characters in supernatural mess as always and no time for sadie sink to shine. Which brings me to my second point

2. Focus on other characters

What does this mean? For example, Will is an important character who was sidelined for a while, but we know he will return to the center stage next season. In season 4, we saw that he had grown more confident, likely due to a more open-minded environment. The smaller plot that he had will become more significant in season 5.

Mike usually leads the party, but in season 4 he didn’t which led him to voice some of his insecurities. However, when was the last time something significant happened to him? I believe it will in season 5.

But, what about other characters? If we assume that Will, El, Mike, Joyce, Hopper (and probably Nancy and Jonathan) will be the main focus in the next season, when will there be time for the rest? That's why season 4 was important - it gave the Hawkins crew more focus and developed their final stories, so they only need to be finished and given proper closure. If our Cali and Russia crew were in Hawkins, there wouldn't be enough time for other characters because they would be the ones in the middle of a supernatural mess.

3. The relationships

Russia and Cali had a common theme going on when it comes to relationships. Both jopper and byler (no matter if platonic or romantic) experienced having to spend time without the other person to realize how important the relationship is to them.

Mileven struggled with issues that they didn’t even know they had before. It doesn’t matter whether mileven or byler will be endgame, we know that Mike deeply cares about both of them, and the distance definitely made him realize a lot of new things about his relationships with those two.

Jopper was on the verge of getting together last season, but his “death” made them realize there is definitely no time to waste and made their feelings for each other perfectly clear.

Conclusion

Relocating characters was important to make space for forming a background for a probably packed plot that is coming next season. If they hadn't done that, season 4 would most likely be the last season, and it would feel incredibly rushed (they even originally planned to have only 4 seasons). This gave them an opportunity to focus more on the characters and their relationships, and paved a path they're about to follow to their final closure.

Although there's still a lot of stuff left open, particularly with relationships, I feel like most of their problems can be solved with one big and important conversation. Season 5 was definitely tricky to write because there's so much going on, but if you think about it, we already know the big bad and quite a lot behind his motives, giving us 7-10 hours to give the show a proper ending without spending at least 2 hours introducing a new villain or characters. That's precisely why the way season 4 was written was extremely important.

#stranger things s5 #stranger things s4 #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #eleven #dustin henderson #byler #mileven #jopper #lucas sinclair #cali crew #analysis

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centrally-unplanned · 1 month

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Hm I think this a weird take based a bit on strawmanning other people. We have this question from a reader:

From my understanding you suggested that in the near future AI will be able to sum up the content a user may want to see into a digest, so that they can spend less time using their devices. I think that is a misunderstanding of how the typical user experiences social media. While there surely are some brilliant people such as the young scientists you described during the episode who use social media only to connect with peers and find valuable information, I would argue that most users, alas including myself, turn to social media when seeking mindless distraction, when bored or maybe too tired to read of watch a film. Therefore, having a digest will prove unsatisfactory. What a typical user wants is the stream of content to continue.

Which I agree with, Cowen's proposal (in an earlier interview) that AI summaries of social media would be widely used and cut back is iffy to me. At the margins used, sure always, but not much - its not being used for information like that. Its experiential. Its like 80% jokes, you think AI is going to summarize jokes? And then what, you read the summary and then sit on the bus not looking at your phone for the rest of the trip?

He replies to this question along two axes: one is saying that Substitution Effects are everywhere, even in addiction:

I think these are some of the least understood points of 2024. Let us start with the substitution effect. The “digest” feature of AI will soon let you turn your feeds into summaries and pointers to the important parts. In other words, you will be able to consume those feeds more quickly. In some cases the quality of the feed experience may go up, in other cases it may go down (presumably over time quality of the digest will improve). We all know that if tech allows you to cook more quickly (e.g., microwave ovens), you will spend less time cooking. That is true even if you are “addicted” to cooking, if you cook because of social pressures, if cooking puts you into a daze, or whatever. The substitution effect still applies, noting that in some cases the new tech may make the cooked food better, in other cases worse. In similar fashion, you will spend less time with your feed, following the advent of AI feed digests.

That cooking analogy is like such an oddball choice to make - being addicted to cooking is like not a thing, so we don't have any points of reference, and as much as it is I don't buy you at all! I don't think they would cook less. They would be less happy, its an addiction. What??

I won't totally reject it, like I can imagine how social media is about giving you "hits" and if something gives you hits faster it can sate you faster. I just really don't think feed summarizes are going to do much in that regard.

The second point is a bit meatier - essentially saying people are tying themselves up into a contradiction when they discuss how social media is both an addiction and also a social pressure from peers:

The AI example is also a forcing one when it comes to motives for spending time with social media feeds. Many critics wish to have it both ways. They want to say “the feed is no fun, teenagers stick with the feed because of social pressures to be in touch with others, but they ideally would rather do something else.” But when a new technology allows them to secede from feed obsession to some degree, (some of) those same critics say: “They can’t/won’t secede — they are addicted!” The word “dopamine” is then likely to follow, though rarely the word “fun.” It is better to just start by admitting that the feed is fun, and informative, for many teenagers and adults too. Of course not everything fun is good for you, but the “social pressure” verbal gambit is a slight of hand to make social media sound like an obvious bad across all margins, and a network that needs to be taken down, rather than something we ought to help people manage better, at the margin. If it really were mainly a social pressure problem, it would be relatively easy to solve.

This seems like a strawman to me - everyone agrees its fun in some sense, its just more complicated than that. And that is not how people are using social pressure at all. He thinks of it as a "social pressure to stay informed", like everyone needs to know the facts of what happened, etc. So if you get an AI summary of "what happened" then you can survive gossip at the lunch table without embarrassing yourself.

Which is not how this works - the social pressure is to be there, be part of the conversation, be in the room where it happens. You sometimes won't even be reading any of the same stuff as your peers, but you can develop taste and contribute and share in the culture. The pressure is that the culture feels non-optional, to be someone who doesn't have online tastes makes you weird and cringe. And, to be clear, it makes you feel cringe. No one needs to call you cringe, its self-policed. And even for you direct friends, what you think they are gonna post Youtube videos, ask you to watch them, and then you are just gonna pretend you did via an AI summary? Again, that will happen, but bro that is lying, that won't become the default way anyone interacts with this stuff.

When teenagers say they want to delete social media, they do not mean "I did not have fun for the last 15 minutes scrolling my feed". Instead they referring to a wider, embedded social order and self-identity formation culture that is rubbing them wrong. Which they might be projecting, of course, but its a far wider critique.

I'm not even coming out here as a social media mental health critic, I have my complaints but I am unsure more than I am sure. But that is independent of this being a rushed analytical model.

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astrojoy · 2 years

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Astrovations #16

Dionysus (3671) in the 12th - can show someone who can get easily swept into addictions or be quite affected by whatever drug they choose. Saw this in a relatives chart

PoF (Part of Fortune) in the same sign as one of your big 3/conjunct sun or moon works too/also ascendant - Can really make a developed house. Let's make an example. Let's say you have a Moon in Scorpio but you also have your PoF in Scorpio. This can make you have the good and developed qualities of a Scorpio moon. You will likely be observant, able to hold secrets but without a price, non-manipulative, etc. If PoF is conjunct the ascendant then you will have a better first impression even if you make slight mistakes. They may go unnoticed or just slide by in some way. I've seen this amongst a friends chart and wanted to note it down just incase it made sense and I wasn't missing anything xD

Asteroid Angel (11911) opposite saturn - Can show angel guides who may come off in a bad light, per say?? If you've ever had those moments of "well do they really care? It just seems like I'm going through a mess. Like I'm all alone with no help" this is probably why. This aspect brings angels who seek to help you overcome karma more forwardly. They may come off as overlly stern sometimes but this is because they want the best for you. This doesn't mean they aren't gentle! (This can go for conjunct as well however-) also the angel could have very father-like qualities in their energy and hoe they approach your situations in life. Angel guides here are calculative and like you to take your time on your lessons or obstacles rather than speed through them

Chiron in 10th of IC Persona Chart - parents possibly struggled in career at some point or enough for it to be noticed

Significant Libra placements - I feel like most if not all people with these energies in their chart have been through some similar experiences when it comes to expressing themselves. I've had personal experience as well as met many people with this who have had at least someone in their life try to block their self expression when it comes to how they present themselves physically or emotionally. That being said you might have been criticized at times for how you dress "why that style?" Or "no, you're not wearing that you're a [gender]". Maybe it's your hair? "no no that haircut doesn't suite you" "you don't look good in that" The emotional route would be "your acting fake, stop", "grow up some and stop being so sensitive". Ohh oh let's not forget the fairness. I've noticed if they're treated unfairly they can get severely hurt emotionally. They just loath the idea of it honestly. They can't tolerate seeing it or being in it

Bacchus (2063) conjunct anothers Bacchus (Also possibly Bacchus conjunct anothers Ascendant/Sun // Synastry - I've literally seen these both love to indulge in each other, which is like a "duh" with how this asteroid acts 🤣🤣. Whether it be spending time with each other or just wanting to have any form of fun with one another. It's like they each find their sense of pleasure from being around each other, as if that was enough or they want more of them. If this is a toxic relationship then this can make a clingy seperation unfortunately

PoF opposite Chiron - Part of your fortune is the hardships you went through with your chiron placement. Chiron taught you enough to heal from it and grow. You may be well learned in the area Chiron is placed. This fortunate position can also allow you to easily heal others who went through similar Chiron circumstances and to see through their point of view. Your fortune is your challenges. They bring you growth and personal/soul development

AC conjunct IC//Synastry - I have this aspect with a childhood friend that's my closest friend still (kindergarten until now)

Transit Moon in the 12th house - I had his and went through a period of depression and insecurity. Then as it went on I began to feel better and come to terms with my emotions. It's like I needed to let out that emotional jar I had in me because it healed as I used them more!

Libra Risings - From what I've noticed have an innocent pair of eyes. Like even if they may seem slightly intimidating body-wise, their eyes hold a charm of kindness for some reason. I'd describe it as soft and welcoming

Salome (562) // Synastry - I've noticed shows what one finds absolutely captivating about another. It's something about the person that makes our heart throb and want to know more about to another level. Whatever one of their houses your Salome sits in, is where you just can't get enough of and vice versa!

Leo Sun - All the leo Suns I've met have some form of mischief in their personality. Teasing people and playing small pranks (idk why 😭)

Urania (30) in the 3rd - Has possibly tried to bring up astrology or astronomy in conversations before. They enjoy talking about it in general and can actually feel motivated to write notes on it or start observations at some point (I have this :)

Saturn opposite Uranus // Synastry - I've seen this aspect where the Saturn person constricts the Uranus persons freedom in some way. The Saturn person may be more serious when it comes to how the Uranus person goes out or spends their time. If the Uranus person has different ways of thinking that are unconventional or rebel how the Saturn person thinks then this can cause some heated debates. The Saturn person often feels like they should control the Uranus persons eccentric nature or style (it can be at a minimum or maximum it just depends on the chart) I've also seen where if the Uranus wants to try something a bit randomly or 'bizarre' with their routine or style then the Saturn person can point out why it wouldn't be a good idea or the Uranus person would regret it. This is basically a good example of one being more cautious or stern and the other being more laid back and 'free-spirited' in a way!

Shigei (8276) in the 4th - can show someone in your child hood who possibly collected items, was a hoarder or just had quite a clutter of things somewhere in the house. This can also indicate everything always being on edge slightly, like there's some type of issue arising just around the corner more often

Pluto in the 1st/Especially conjunct ascendant - I saw someone with this and OH. MY. LORD. THE ENERGY. Ugh I can't even describe it. It's not bad (not for my scorpio venus at least 😏💖) but like brO. The energy is sO heavy. Like anyone who can feel energy, y'all are in for a treat with these placements because- that's the only way I can describe it, is heavy. Powerful and striking. It's like someone extremely important is walking by and etc. It's a whole other ball game but I absolutely adore this energy. If the person also has a scorpio rising it just makes it more powerful honestly

WHICH ALSO LEADS ME TO BELIEVE // Venus - If someone has the ruler of your Venus sign conjunct their ascendant. You will most likely have a crush on them (EX: Scorpio Venus might fall in love or have a crush on someone who has pluto conjunct their ascendant)

Priapus (h22) conjunct Ascendant // Synastry - I've seen in different charts the Priapus person has a physical sexual attraction to the Ascendant person. However the Ascendant person may (as the Greek story goes) be unattainable. For instance, I saw someone had a sexual attraction to a celebrity and has this placement. They were Priapus, the celebrity the Ascendant which was unattainable. I have this synastry with one of my best friends. She is Priapus and has wanted to have a physical relationship with me and told me she loves me sexually however as the Ascendant person I am into women in a more romantic way personally (unattainable in a sense) we didn't end up getting in a relationship (still friends tho! :D)

Mercury opposite Mars // Synastry - Idk if I've said this before but just in case, definitely seen this in charts of people who bicker and start small arguments over petty things 😂😂

Saturn square Uranus // Synastry - Saw this play out where the Saturn person is restrictive of how the Uranus person expresses themeselves. Like the Uranus person was into new age stuff, liked eccentric styles and had new world beliefs, but the Saturn person wasn't into that stuff (was also quite traditional) and cringed at it often. Causes friction for sure

Synastry // How you view them and vice versa - Whicher planets of yours are conjunct another persons ascendant will show you how you view them (Ex - I have sun and mercury conjunct my older brothers ascendant, I generally see him as logical, smart, confident and funny) there are moments where I've seen this play out where both people feel the planets energy off of each other however I've seen more of the first scenario personally :)

Ascendant ruler in the 2nd house - May be a total foodie however very careful with how they look. So they may really enjoy food but if they start noticing any weight gain it will effect their self esteem

6th house ruler in the 8th/12th - Possibly a hypochondriac. 8th because the house can represent death and sudden extremes. 12th because it can represent the mind and anxieties, paranoia, etc. I'm not diagnosing just leaving the thought on the table ^

Random Observation - I have my ascendant at Scorpio 0° and I noticed someone who had pluto conjunct their ascendant and we have very similar styles, and first impressions on people it's cool but interesting! 😌

Jupiter opposite Venus - As stereotypical as it may sound I've actually seen someone with this be full of love. Always showing affection towards others very often even if it's out of the blue. This placement makes someone very sweet and caring 🥰

Neptune - I've realized over time may actually indicate a place that we can be quite curious of. I say this because Neptune is known as the foggy planet, the planet that creates a mask to cover up the reality of a situation. Neptunes placement will show you where you may question from time to time. For instance, my neptune sits in the 4th, conjunct IC. I don't know much about my family history, I'm not close with my Mom's side of the family too much + I don't know anything really about my Bio dads side of the family. Not only this but there are snippets of my childhood blocked out of my memory, some things I remember as if it were HD and others are like murky water. In this house I catch myself being driven by curiosity to find out my ancestry, relatives, unspoken history, family 'secrets' or info that was never talked about. I will mention, I'm still finding out new info to this day

Uranus 7th house//Vedic Navamsa D9 - NOW NOW, I know traditionally Uranus, Neptune and Pluto are not used in Vedic, however I personally believe all the planets should be included as each holds energy, so I've added them into my own Vedic studies. So if you disagree dw I totally get it! You don't have to read on 🥰 on with the note, my mother has this in her 7th house of her Navamsa chart and she actually did get divorced. Now it took awhile (Saturns in the same house) however finally it did happen :)

This was kinda short imo sorry

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