#maybe bpd?? narcissism???? bipolar??????? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 months

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Just read your free-access Patreon article about Taylor Swift and the Time person of the year piece. I love your journalistic voice, the whole thing was a really engaging read.

As someone who has actual family members with mismanaged NPD/BPD/Bipolar, I hard agree on how vacuous and performative songs like Anti Hero feel if you're actually in touch with those issues. I remember the first time I heard the lyric "my covert narcissism might disguise as altruism" over the radio while driving and nearly had an out-of-body experience from sheer bafflement. That "heehee I'm mentally ill and make problems because of it" tone struck me as either someone profoundly out of touch appropriating the language of a genuine issue to lend their middle-of-the-road pop a veener of depth (which is lowkey shitty and a vibe I previously kinda clocked in You Need to Calm Down) or someone who is actually lowkey toxic using "heehee I'm mentally ill so I can't help myself" as a defence (which would be highkey shitty since like, girl, if you know it's a problem then maybe do something about it???? You have private-jet money, you have the capacity to find a therapist).

Also agree that "sometimes I feel like everybody is a Sexy Baby" is a very unhinged lyric.

Anyway, thanks for so well-articulating a lot of the things I also feel about Taylor. She's not bad per se but I don't understand this mythologising of her as some visionary artiste when her career has increasingly become just standard consumer-pop. She may have "set the standard" for this era (pun intended) but most of the time her work is standard at best.

thank you! that means a lot, and I appreciate you taking the time to say you enjoyed it :)

man, I didn't even have time to get into this lyric and how weird and bad it is but it is. rough.

in line with my article and my theory that Swift just wants to beat the dead horse of perpetual victimhood for as long as it will keep making her money, I'd actually add a third option to your proposal: this is just Swift doing what everyone on tumblr did back in, like, 2012, ie, making glib little jokes about our mental illness and poor self esteem because it was #relatable. the difference being that people doing that were overwhelmingly very young and very much without autonomy in their lives, whereas Swift is a woman in her 30s who is, as you pointed out, more than capable of affording a good therapist. it's not cute, it's just a hackneyed ploy to always be the underdog despite staying perpetually on top.

which isn't to say it can't be all three; you'll never catch me arguing that Taylor Swift isn't out of touch.

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livingfictionsystem · 2 months

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So, my adhd/autistic freind has a grandmother with NPD who was extremely abusive towards her family, but i’m worried about my friends ableism towards other people with npd. she’s not met very many but she’s under the very common impression that everyone with npd is an abuser and an asshole, and idk if should get involved because her family was so hurt by someone with npd, but at the same time i’m worried about the way she’d behave if she met another person with npd in the future. do you have any advice?

Oooof.

Sparrow here. I'm sorry about your friend's family, sounds like some real generational trauma going on there.

Anecdotal storytime, sorry if this is rambly.

I did, a couple years ago, have a pretty big grudge against Borderline folks. My most recent abuser, Rowan, had borderline. We were on a pedestal, yknow, until we weren't. Same with my cohost's ex, AJ. A shitty ex-metamor of mine has BPD. I was straight up sick of pwBPD.

I know a lot about psychology but even I had this unfair anecdotal stereotype of someone locking themselves in the bathroom and hating you/needing you until you were stressed enough to give them what they wanted.

I knew *I* had some kinda serious disorder and was looking into bipolar when the highly ironic suggestion of Borderline hit me right in the face. And I mean I was TEXTBOOK, still am. I was in denial for a WHILE. The last thing I wanted was to see any reflection of my abuser in me. And people around me didn't really disparage NPD because they already had Xanthe's glittery, spotlight-hogging, self-aggrandizing self and thought they were p cool, but even people I was close with would take jabs at Bordies and I'd laugh along with them. I kept doing intense research just to prove it wrong in me and ended up proving it more and more right.

Then finally, I saw some positive examples. One of my besties in the outerworld has Borderline. Bojack Horseman, of all things, really helped me accept it in myself. I joined some online support groups. I see how loving we are, how creative, how most of us make fun of our own mood swings and our sui-ideation. How protective we are, how our impulsivity ends up with some really cool experiences and connections.

Now I've accepted it. But it would've been a lot harder of a road if I didn't have positive examples. And yknow Borderline is p much a half sibling to Narcissism.

Xanthe and Jasper were my great examples of NPD. Their hyper-independence, how that manipulative side can be used to talk friends out of spirals or abusive relationships, how they make sure everyone who benefits them has some sort of give-and-take even if they have to pull strings to do it, the intense insecurity and self-loathing under the arrogant facade. And omg are they masters at social chess, which is awesome when my tactless ass is floundering in turmoil and people wanna cancel me by proxy.

It's really only gonna be positive rep that does it for some people. Maybe your friend has a fave character that actually fits the NPD profile. (Alastor from Hazbin gives me NPD vibes p hard tbh.) Tons of creatives have it, like literally being self-absorbed is part of being famous lol. If you've got good examples to work with, it becomes a Lot easier.

Even better if you've got someone willing to poke fun at their disorder and educate. I can also always drop more NPD stories/memes/resources for you to have in your arsenal. And even just educating about other traumagenic disorders like BPD and DID and stuff may help other disorders by proxy, the same logic does apply.

But your friend may never accept it. And that would suck. But people want to blame a set of stereotypes rather than the casual cruelty of the universe. It's up to you whether that becomes a topic that you two just can't talk about or if it ends a friendship tbh.

But yeah sorry for the ramble, I hoped the more raw experience might help the perspective. Lmk if you have any specific scenarios or anything!

-Sparrow 🧷

#narcissistic personality disorder #npd #borderline personality disorder #bpd #stigma #cluster b #ask #psychology nerd to the rescue #anon

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erigold13261 · 1 year

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Do you have neurodivergency HCs for the NSR cast?

Not extensively. Only a few vague ones really. This is gonna be a more messy post with not a lot of organization, so sorry bout that.

I definitely headcanon Papa, Mama, Yinu, 1010, Mayday, and Dodo as some kind of autistic. Though that could go to a lot of the cast actually.

Papa, Eloni, and Dodo are (was in Papa's case) non-verbal. Dodo being fully non-verbal, with Papa and Eloni being selectively mute (Papa being even less verbal than Eloni).

Neon J and Mama have PTSD, Neon from war and Mama from the death of Papa (also a grief disorder, but I see his death being so traumatic that she has similar symptoms to PTSD, especially if she needs to go to a hospital).

I saw a headcanon, or analysis, of Eve once that said she either had Bipolar disorder or BPD (I think it was BPD) so I kinda see her as having that. Maybe autism and trauma as well. She might also have an Avoidant Personality Disorder. So either way I do think she has a personality disorder.

Tila has schizophrenia. Another headcanon I saw someone else had around the start of NSR coming out, which I really liked but just haven't explored more. (Though it is less common for a teenager to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, it is still something that happens. I don't think Tila is fully diagnosed yet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have it).

Purl is definitely something. Autistic is definitely one of them, but I see them as also having some kind of anger issues or personality disorder, I think some of the Cluster B and C personality disorders fit Purl a lot (like the Antisocial and Dependent Personality Disorders).

Oh yeah, Eloni, Purl, Eve, Remi, and Sofa also have sever anxiety. Honestly the whole Sayu Crew has anxiety. (Just figured out that phobias are a type of anxiety disorder so next paragraph will be that).

Zimelu has claustrophobia (small spaces), Haym has acrophobia (heights), and Rin has a pretty strong fear of bugs (not sure if it is on the same level to say it has entomophobia, but it is really bad at times which only gets worse with Eloni's pinned bug collection). Oh yea, Purl has thalassophobia (fear of the sea, which they hate given they are a navy bot, but the war fucked them up with the sea).

For DJ... I don't know, he does have some sort of superiority complex, but I've seen people analyze them and talk about how selfless they actually are in wanting to make sure humanity is remembered (he was just going to be the avatar for Earth). So like, I don't really know. There is the fandom headcanon that he has Narcissism, which I do think about some times. And honestly I remember someone with Narcissism saying the difference between someone with Narcissism and not is that a Narcissist can't be content, they always need that new fix to make them happy because they literally can't be content with life (at least that is how I am remembering it, I really hope I'm not misremembering and thinking of a different mental disorder), and with that i can see DJ as having Narcissism with the way he also acts in game (though it could literally just be a big ego).

He probably also has autism/sensory issues and depression. Actually, speaking of depression, I can see Mama, Zuke, Neon, Purl and Eloni as having depression. Also Dew to an extent.

Rin also has a really terrible memory. Whether that is because of a mental problem or mechanical one is up for debate, but it really doesn't remember things and sometimes that is a huge stressor for it, especially in relationships. Maybe it's ADHD, specifically the Predominantly Inattentive Presentation one/version (is version the right word to use here? idk).

And speaking of ADHD, I think Mayday, West, Remi, and Haym definitely have some form of ADHD. I can also see Zuke, Sofa, Papa, and Maragold as having some ADHD as well.

Carna is a kleptomaniac, or is at least showing early signs of kleptomania. Thankfully fae hasn't stolen anything outside of the mansion right now because fae hasn't been out much, but 1010 and Neon would have to keep a close eye on faer to make sure they either stop faer or pay for whatever is stolen.

Going back a bit, I think Sofa has an eating disorder, so does Purl (which isn't as impactful as they are a robot, but in human AUs Purl still has an eating disorder which gets really bad in their teens).

Kliff might also have some narcissism going on. Maybe some autism as well. I feel like he has something else going on, but I can't think of anything at the moment.

Oh Neon also had/has an addiction problem or a substance use disorder (he had it and have been sober, but it is still something he struggles with daily). Purl also has a drug problem, and I can see Zuke, West, Mayday, and Eve also having mild substance abuse problems. They would not be seen as fully addicted by societal standards (except maybe Purl, they are an addict definitely).

Tatiana, hmmm... I think she has an attachment disorder, or like a fear of abandonment that she copes with by pushing people away. Maybe a bit of depression too.

Also, though it is less a mental disorder and more signs/symptoms of other disorders, I think Mama, Neon, and Tatiana all have anger issues. Whatever it stems from, i don't know, but they have them.

There's probably more, or these will change at some point. But that's what I have for now. Sorry again for it being messy.

#nsr #no straight roads #eritalks #noart #asks #i like how i said i was gonna be vague #and then give this long of an answer #i do it all the time #lol

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gardenianoire · 4 years

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unpopular opinion/armchair psychologists time!: carrie bradshaw was bipolar/bpd icon

my reasoning:

impulsively in her spending habits. girl had 40k in shoes alone and only $700 in the bank. classic

restlessness. there was a whole plot in the movie that revolved around her being pissed that her husband maybe wanted to chill at home occassionally instead of going out every night

lord, the narcissism. everything had to be about her all the damn time and she seemed oblivious to how she hurt people around her(like she didn't understand why natasha wouldn't forgive her, the time she sent aidan to help miranda and didn't understand why she may not have wanted her friend's boyfriend to see her naked, the time she actual got mad at charlotte for not offering her thousands of dollars to buy her apartment)

she was hella irritable. damn near any thing could send this girl into rant

also in addition to impulsive spending habits she made some really bad snap decisions

big was def her fp

my qualifications for this diagnosis:

I am a whole board certified bipolar/bpd icon and she is so relatable

#sex and the city #bipolar icons #bipolar tag #actuallybipolar #actuallybpd

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irageneveart · 5 years

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idk what the fuck did I do but I lost the ask, so here it is for the Anony who asked me about my thoughts of the “most to least to be a good killer RFA + Mint Eye”

also, because I’m still a bit confused about the “slayer” term you used, I’ll write like you meant “slasher”. I have another post about what type of slayers each one of them would be, in care you didn’t see it (and in case you’re the same anony haha). anyway, I hope you’ll like my picks :D

Most to least to be a successful Slasher, RFA + Mint Eye

warnings: death and suicide mentions, mental disorders and some pretty heavy themes lol, I went a bit wild

Vanderwood

as surprising at it seems, Vanderwood would have the highest body count. isolated and deranged, I see him lacking empathy, a silent killer that attacks even for the smallest nick picks, but he’s never caught and he never failed. maybe he suffers from some kind of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder)

Saeyoung

being such a secretive one and almost afraid of being exposed, he would kill to protect, along the lines of “there are things people should not know, they should listen to him and leave him alone” etc. I also think he would have some kind of social anxiety disorder or even schizophrenia

Zen

“Hyun on the 3rd place, what’s wrong with you Ira” you might ask, well as I see it (and we have canon proof from Zen’s gang life) he would be very likely to get involved in nasty shit. he would have anger issues, narcissism developed as a defensive mechanism and would most likely kill out of a whim. also, I think he might also develop a skin picking disorder just because of how obsessive he would be to look perfect

Saeran

Saeran would be one of these killers that kill for fun. he’s not suffering from a too dangerous illness but he would have an addiction. he would kill as a sport, therefore his victims would be random, frequent and cruelly killed, too little similarities between them to tie the deaths with each other and to make a profile

Rika

suffering from bipolar disorder, her body count would be significant but not as big as the others’. her killing spree started with people close to her, quickly developing into a problem. however her heavy manic episodes made her believe they deserved it and she was making a good thing, releasing them from this broken world

Jumin

I believe he would suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) developed in the absence of his parents, his father treating him more like toy that needed to be shaped in his appearance and personality. Jumin doesn’t kill often, and when he does it’s out of dominance, manipulative behavior, emotional instability, frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, identity disturbance, and on rare occasions out of sexual gratification that he’s been denied in the day by day life

Jaehee

her killings would be sporadic and very well planned, maybe with years in between them. she would stalk her victims, carefully planning every little detail. I also believe she might test them before acting, and I think her desire to kill would come from a greater purpose of doing good. so her victims would be domestic abusers, people cheating and so on. while her goal is good, her ways are bad and extreme, easily going out of control. probably everything started from some family trauma rooted in her childhood

Yoosung

once a genius kid, now a nameless teen, he would develop passive-aggressive personality disorder with manipulative and obsessive tendencies. his body count would be less than 5 and maybe accidental. his favorite activity would be to stalk his victims, usually young females, taking photos, knowing all of their social media making obnoxious phone calls with voice changers and so on

Jihyun

and here we are with our last place. V would have only one victim which would make him a shitty slasher lmao. his one kill would be out of “love”, developing a very destructive, obsessive and compulsive behavior in a relationship, triggered when he felt strongly psycho-sexually attracted to his first girlfriend. he killed for her and he would be ready to die for her as well, most likely doing it the moment she breaks up with him

#ira geneve #rfa headcanons #zen hyun ryu #jumin han #jaehee kang #saeyoung choi #yoosung kim #v jihyun kim #saeran choi #mary vanderwood 3rd #rika mysme #mystic messenger #My writing #writing request

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stinkgh · 5 years

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personal ref #1 (tw:abuse)

Its been 2 days since what I’ve dubbed as Ground Zero. I had an initial rant typed out of anger, which is what I’ve been working through today; but I no longer feel so strongly enough to retype those thoughts as they came to me. Instead I’ll just give the trigger: my mother doesn’t remember the time she beat me with a baseball bat because I have trichtillomania (trich for short; hair pulling impulse control/ obsessive compulsive disorder) and she didn’t know why I was doing that/thought she could beat it out of me. But let me back up and try to tell this properly. I want to document this as I go and today was a great day of progress.

2 days ago she called me and told me she was dying of COPD, said she was getting ready to visit everyone and I told her I didn’t want to see her and was not going to her funeral. She said that was a bold statement and I engaged with purpose to finally say the things I am tired of keeping silent; and as usual narcissistic personalities go she talked over me and shifted blame/ claimed to be ignorant to the things I told her. “What bat? Who beat you with a baseball bat?” This is known as gaslighting, though whether or not she truly doesn’t remember is something I will never know (she is prone to psychosis- bipolar) and honestly, I feel like this is such great closure because this perfectly sums up the entirety of our relationship: Me telling her she’s hurt me and she not giving one single flying fuck, invalidating me by deflecting blame and making it seem like reality as I percieved it is not real because she is in the wrong. Makes it feel like I’m the crazy one. Textbook gaslighting. I phoned my aunt and asked her if she remembered; she immediately said yes and then as soon as I thanked her for the validation she started to backpedal by saying she “couldn’t remember a bat per se, but there was a physical altercation and I intervened, didn’t I?” No. No you did not. You sat in the living room while I cried and honestly, look at you. You beat me too and then would tell me “clean your face” so mom wouldn’t ask about it.

Again I say, perfect resolution because I’m done trying with these people. 5 years we’ve been going back and fourth; I keep thinking maybe this is it, maybe this is the change I’ve been looking for and we can finally have that mother-daughter bond I’d like to have with her; and every time I let my guard down she calls me drunk to remind me of how much she doesn’t fucking care about anything but herself. That day I found out that she’s been blackmailing my dad in order to contact me and ain’t that sum shit because as I sat out of my mind in the ER that night waiting on crisis to talk to me I actually said, “Maybe I am wrong, she’s said she’s been in therapy so maybe she is doing better. Maybe I’m wrong.” No. I’m not wrong. She kept saying, “Do you want to talk to my therapist?” and why would I want to do that? Why would your therapist talk to me? They wouldn’t out of confidentiality. When I confronted her about my trich I heard her take a HUGE breath in, it was CLEAR to me she knew what the fuck it was so why haven’t we had this discussion before now and in a way that I can express the fact that you fucking beat me for something I can’t help/should have been in therapy for, without you shifting blame and instantly shutting me down? Fuck you.

Ground Zero. The day my already cracked heart shattered into a million pieces and I wasn’t even surprised; just incredibly hurt. I just kept thinking about how absolute bullshit it is for her to “forget” while I get to remember. I have remembered for 10 fucking years now. I fucking remember every single day. You don’t get to do that to me. You don’t get to alter my reality because YOU DID SOMETHING SO DARK YOU CANT EVEN STOMACH IT SO YOU JUST CAUSALLY FUCKING FORGOT. Man I swear, once the tears started flowing my chest got so tight and before Ground Zero I NEVER cried out loud. I wailed. And I screamed. Loud and hard. Literally felt like my brain was melting. I ran to my good aunt and uncle (dad’s side) and screamed some more then bawled my fucking eyes out. My mind got so hazy to the point that I couldn’t control it and it scared the absolute fucking shit out of me. My dad said it was a massive panic attack, but at the time the only thing I could think was getting to the ER. I experienced a similar one, a stronger one, while waiting on bloodwork and crisis and for the first time in my life I bared my soul because the other option was ramming my head into the wall and honestly man suicide is not something I ever seriously considered before Ground Zero and have since been taking extremely seriously because that is not me but here it is now, this constant threat that my mind is going so out of control trying to make sense of this craziness and the fact that my heart felt so damn empty, so void of anything that it felt like I didn’t want to do this anymore. Oh hell no. Every thought that entered my mind that night I immediately let it out and talked myself back to sanity because that shit fucking scared the SHIT out of me.

The answers I found? I love my mother. This is how she is. But I have to love you from a distance because you literally make my brain rot.

Today, 2 days later, I have started on anger. I got diagnosed with BPD that night and have been thoroughly researching and finding things that fall in line with things/behaviors I have, some of which I’ve had since I was a kid. I am currently waiting to speak with a therapist for a better, fine-tuned diagnosis and medication so this currently feels like a lame duck period between trauma and relief mixed with becoming consciously aware of my own bullshit and coming to terms with my own fears and how others percieve them because now manipulation has become a full blown trigger and I wont tolerate it even in myself. Today I got to work working through the irrational and bringing them back to reality. Yesterday was fucking horrible because now I have the meticulous duty of plucking these needles she’s stabbed through my heart from childhood, separating the shadows I witnessed as a child growing up around undiagnosed/unmedicated bipolar narcissism that lashes out when angry and hurts people because she has been hurt and wow I can’t even put that into words how its fucked with my mind making me wonder if I’ll end up like that, which is what’s been the cause of yesterday’s panic attacks because I am incredibly sensitive at the moment to words and thoughts- no matter how rational/irrational they may be yesterday my mind was not ready to absorb and got overstimulated the more I learned. Today was better because today I am able to say YOUR SHADOW DOES NOT OWN NOR CONTROL ME BECAUSE I AM NOT YOU.

Only 2 days in and I have started working on things I fear the most, the wrongs I do and the resolutions to them, and the questions I can’t wait to ask next week in my first appointment. Only 2 days in and I recognize that my fears are easily appeased within a comfort zone; but I also recognize who I am/ who I was before this trigger and for now that eases the initial panic of turning into a shadow of my mother. Where she hurts I want to love, where she denies I want to accept, and where she manipulates I want to shed light. I know this isn’t going to be easy, I’m facing something really hard and hard wired in my brain, resistance is expected; but I really want to celebrate a personal victory. Today I took my anger to the page, pen to paper, and got to work.

I AM NOT YOU.

#personal #ref1 #tw abuse

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ontheavalanche · 6 years

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As someone with BPD, I struggle a lot with headcanons of Kent Parson with BPD.

Bc on the one hand, I really enjoy people taking the time to research BPD and crafting versions of Kent Parson that are complicated yet respectful and highlighting a disorder that imho isn’t spoken about nearly enough + a lot of thought and effort goes into taking mentally ill characters and fleshing them out with words. Plus I’ve seen some well composed stuff from people who do have BPD and get what it’s like and make wonderfully relatable versions of BPD!Parse and I don’t want to downplay those at all.

But at the same time, I noticed a lot of what happens is that people paint Kent Parson as this guy that’s been really manipulative and can say and do things that are emotionally abusive or just make him all impulsive but then be all like oh he’s like that because he has BPD so it’s okay.

And that’s bad for multiple reasons—the first one being ofc that you can’t excuse manipulative, emotionally abusive, or any other kind of shitty behaviors just bc the person acting that way is mentally ill. The second is that people with Borderline Personality Disorder are generally not like that???? That’s a really harmful stereotype of what people with BPD are like and it’s been perpetuated a lot in various types of media and even within medical and mental health communities.

Anyways, I’m p sure I personally won’t be able to read any fics with BPD!Parson unless they’re personally recommend to me, but I will throw a few things out there that I haven’t seen in BPD!Parse fics but that are common amongst people with BPD. (Please keep in mind that these are based on my own experiences and experiences of other people I know who have BPD—as with any mental health issue, it can manifest very differently depending on the person and not everyone with have experienced all of these):

Manic episodes!!!!! (I feel it’s important to note that often times you won’t realize you’re Manic until you’re peeking. And tbh a lot of times you don’t realize it at all, especially if you don’t have experience recognizing those feelings. Also I’ve noticed that with people with BPD that are more on the consistently manic side will not notice their mania because while manic episodes are intense, if you’re used to them it feels totally normal to feel that way all the time. You might not notice it’s a thing until it gets pointed out by an outsider or unless you get a really really bad one or end up hospitalized)

After a manic episode, you might Crash—a sort of Mania Hangover, if you will. Sometimes it can be a full blow depressive episode, sometimes it’s just a need for sleep or maybe releasing a few hard earned tears. (Or if you’re one of those people that’s kind of Perpetually Manic or going through a manic phase, maybe you won’t even Crash, you’ll just slide into another episode like whatislife amiright??)

If not full blown mania, then mood swings!!!! So many mood swings!!!!! They’re intense and sometimes they last a few hours and sometimes they last a few days. People with BPD have intense emotions, highs and lows and you can on occasion get several in the span of an hour or two.

A chronic feeling of emptiness (I’m thinking of Parse feeling empty n wow that hurts so bad doesn’t it?)

Reckless, impulsive, or dangerous behaviors, often thought of as a result of trying to fill that emptiness or during feelings of mania or anger or mood swings. (This can manifest as shopping sprees, sex, substance abuse, binge eating, etc).

Viewing things in black and white—often times things and feelings are perceived as either totally Good or totally Bad, with little to nothing in between. It’s easy to distort your point of view to make it so that everything fits in those categories. This is a defense mechanism and is often referred to as “Splitting” or all-or-nothing thinking.

The Good/Bad POV//defense mechanism also and especially applies toward people and while logically you might know people are multifaceted and want to recognize that people can be both good and bad, sometimes it can be really hard not to look at people and subconsciously be like “okay are you a hero or a villain, a protagonist or an antagonist, do I love you or hate you�� (idealization vs devaluation)

In the BPD community, many people have something called an FP (a Favorite Person)—this is a person you’ve formed an emotional dependency on that can quite literally make or break your day with the slightest provocation. Frankly, this is kind of difficult to talk about so I recommend skimming this article. Basically, you devolve intense feelings for a person (be it romantic or platonic) and when they give you attention or when you view their actions as positive, it’s like you’re happier than you’ve ever been but if you view something they did or said as a negative towards you (even if it wasn’t their intention), suddently your mood plummets so badly that you might feel physically pained or enter a major depressive episode or feel suicidal. (Not everyone has or has had an FP, but if you have one and they reject you and the relationship between the two of you is over, it can feel kind of like a soulmate au gone bad in which you gotta break this Profound Bond and it feels like you’re shattering. Not impossible to get over but you’ll be kind of broken for a while, or maybe just a little cracked forever.) ((Was Jack Zimmermann Kent’s FP???? Who knows, just don’t think about it))

While obviously relationships with people can often be intense and sometimes unstable, it doesn’t mean everyone is regarded with the same level of intensity and it doesn’t mean people with BPD don’t also have normal and healthy relationships and friendships. It truthfully depends on the person. Sometimes all relationships are affected, and sometimes it’s just one.

Disassociation—this can range from depersonalization (feeling disconnected from your body), derealization (feeling disconnected from reality), amnesia (lost time), and identity confusion (losing self).

Speaking of identity—people with BPD struggle with their self-image, and yes sometimes they will distort how they view themselves to fit their mood. I often see this brought up in fics in regards to Kent Parson as either having extreme narcissism or with an extremely low self worth. While those two things aren’t generally out of the realm of possibility, most of the time when it comes to people with BPD and their identity it’s more like they’re lost???? Idk how to describe it but amongst people with BPD, it’s common to feel like you don’t know who the real you is, or like there is no real you and you’re just made up of other people. It’s because sometimes we latch onto the habits and obsessions of others, of our friends and loved ones, and they become our habits and our obsessions, and sometimes realizing this can push you into a bit of an identity crisis????? (Does anyone have a way to put this into English that makes sense bc I’m doing my best here but I Suck soooo) EDIT: the word for it is “Identity Disturbance” and it’s A Big Thing

Seemingly unprovoked bursts of anger and irritability are not uncommon

A lot of people with BPD have abandonment issues. Be it real or imagined abandonment, many of us try to avoid feeling that kind (or any kind) of rejection, even if it means we’re the ones doing the rejecting first. I see this well represented in fics but it’s very dragged out. (Truthfully, imho people with BPD can kinda suck at rejecting people, like we’ll wanna do it so that you don’t do it to us but we can’t quite execute it all that well and when we do we try not to dwell on it.)

I have noticed in BPD!Parse fics, most of the time he has a healthy sense of distrust towards people and their intentions and that’s pretty accurate although sometimes it’s the exact opposite—you might trust too much or too quickly if you consider them Good.

Major depressive episodes are not at all uncommon. (I apologize bc I don’t think I’m going to be able to put in as much detail about this rn bc tbh I’m running on the Manic side lately and when I’m more manic I tend to forget what it’s like to feel depressed or just how those feelings come about until I get hit with a wave of them and then I just wallow.)

Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are not uncommon either, even if you aren’t going through a depressive episode or feeling sad. (An unfortunate percentage of people with BPD die from suicide.)

Some people experience intrusive thoughts or some form of psychosis (if I’m not mistaken the term “borderline” actually comes from an antiquated thought that people with BPD are “borderline psychotic” and so some places no longer use the term “borderline personality disorder” and rather call it an emotional intensity disorder or an “emotionally unstable personality disorder”—bc the latter is totally much better)

Looooots of anxiety, I don’t think in the same way you see in an anxiety disorder??? (I have both so it’s hard for me to describe and separate the two but from what I’ve heard, for people that don’t have an anxiety disorder but do have BPD, it can come in bouts, kind of like manic and depressive episodes but just anxiety and none of the high or low feelings????)

Trouble sleeping is common with people with BPD

Paranoia

A majority of the time, people with BPD also have other disorders such a depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, or other personality disorders that coexist with your BPD.

And the last thing: if you’re reading this list and thinking “huh this sounds more like what I’ve read about bipolar disorder rather than borderline personality disorder” then the reason for it is bc the way bipolar disorder is presented in media is often similar to the reality of what it’s like to have BPD (and similarly there is so much more to bipolar disorder that is not presented in media accurately). The two can be very similar from an outsider’s point of view but to put it in oversimplified terms—people with BPD have more persistent day-to-day symptoms that impact them 24/7 whereas someone with bipolar disorder can go through periods of symptom-free wellness for days, weeks, or even years before falling into say a major manic episode. Our mood swings and episodes are also shorter and tend to run on patterns or are a direct reaction to life’s typical stressors—we can have multiple mood swings and episodes within a single day, whereas folks with bipolar disorder have seemingly no warning before an episode that can last months. Also while any form of mental illness (particularly ones that have to do with mania or delusions or hallucinations) can impact your relationship with people, typically people with bipolar disorder don’t have the same problems with interpersonal relationships like people with BPD do. (I hope I don’t sound like I’m “down selling” bipolar disorder or anything, truthfully I’m just not knowledgeable enough to feel comfortable speaking on it but I do know that these are some of the differences between the two and that BPD and bipolar disorder are often misdiagnosed as each other.)

Anyways y’all, BPD is a really serious disorder. Most of the time we’re people that are considered high functioning because it’s a disorder that affects emotions and relationships and sometimes that only seemingly affects our personal and social lives and not our professional or academic lives.

We’re typecast as dramatic and manipulative and attention seekers. I’d personally argue that we aren’t (for the most part) but our behavior can get really poor and we can feel desperate and enslaved by our emotions. We can’t really help it but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hold us accountable if we act horribly. The point of this is just that if you want to write about this disorder or cast a character with it, try to understand beyond what you’ve seen or heard portrayed by people who don’t have to live with it.

BPD is usually treated with cognitive behavioral therapy but it’s not at all uncommon to have medication as treatment of some of your symptoms or to be hospitalized for it. Personally I used to be on antipsychotics to help stabilize my moods and it was good but not a cure-all, of course. There is no cure for BPD.

This post is also known as: stop writing Kent Parson as an angsty piece of shit 2k18. I might accept BPD!Parse fics if he’s super excited and manic and forms intense bonds with people and doesn’t want to let them go but also BPD sucks so don’t romanticize it too much but also hello I love Kent Parson

#wow this was supposed to be like a paragraph or two max #im just literally crazy yall im kind of manic rn and this just happened #i might delete this later idk its embarassing n kinda personal #kent parson #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #actually bpd #bpd kent parson #mental health #fandom #long post #sorry yall

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tf2artcomp · 7 years

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TF2 Art Competition

Howdy, pardners. I’m Ugg Zombie and I love TF2. I talk about it all the time with my BFF bestie Red Zombie. In fact, we talked about how awesome it would be to have more TF2 art about the things we care about, especially in the wake of the excitement of The Naked and the Dead. So we’re putting together a competition. Send in your best TF2 art for a chance to win some $$$!

The Rules Updated 02 March 2017 updated links to posts

Submissions open on Friday 24 February 2017 at 18:00 UTC and close on Friday 10 March 2017 at 18:00 UTC.

Submit one piece of art accompanied by at least 500 words of writing.

The art must be in one of the four Categories listed below. It can be traditional, digital, or SFM. Static images only, no animation, please.

The writing can be fiction, background information, headcanons, whatever.

Comics are acceptable. If you submit a comic, there’s no word count, but keep it at four pages or fewer.

No older art, the whole point is to create new art!

You may not post the submission on your personal (or professional) accounts until after the competition. You grant us permission to use your work to promote the next competition (if this one turns out well!), with due credit.

The art will be judged by the reaction it gets out of us. Quality of art helps. Equally important is the idea and execution. Focus on both!

Content: Use only canon and popular fanon. No OCs. No NSFW. Think of the kitten orphanage!

Collaborations are acceptable. Prizes will be sent to the email you use to submit via PayPal or Skrill.

The Categories

Crossover (Games, TV, & Film) for $100

These are some of the worlds we’d love to see the mercs cross with. You can take these as seriously (~drama~) as you like or throw caution to the wind and crank up the silliness to 11! Why not both?

Games

Assassin’s Creed, up to and including Black Flag

Fallout series

Dishonored 1 / 2

Portal 1 / 2

Affairs of the Court: Choice of Romance

Bonus! Arcanum: of Steamworks and Magick Obscura

TV & Film

Star Trek: TOS, TNG, DS9, VOY (we never saw ENT)

Pirates of the Caribbean series

Good Will Hunting

Grease (just 1, 2 doesn’t exist)

Disney universe: Inside Out, Toy Story, Atlantis, Mulan.

Mental Health for $100

We’re both living with a fun cocktail of some of these, and so are some close family and friends, and we know some of you are as well. So hit us with some real talk– give us the mercs dealing with some of these, or explaining them, or just encouraging you to keep going through the tough spots.

Depression

Anxiety

Bipolar

Panic

PTSD

Abuse

BPD

OCD

Narcissism

Phobias

The Mighty Scriptfam Fandom and Mental Health

Out of Frame Comics for $100

Sometimes, the comics leave important questions unanswered. Like how did Miss Pauling talk these guys into G&G anyway? This category is for answering that and other important questions. Just be sure to use the actual frame for reference! Note that this doesn’t have to be a comic; sometimes one image is all you need.

Dance Fortress Scout VA reads Comic #6

Creativity for $100

As artists and writers, you know the struggle. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Sometimes it gets stuck for a long time before you can work it out. So here are creative endeavours we (or our friends) have worked with. Show us the mercs learning, working, struggling, encouraging, going through the entire experience. Share the experience!

Writing

Painting

Crochet

Knitting

Gardening

First Aid

Robotics

Game development

Metalworking

Bookbinding

Interested? Hit up our check-in form here.

Do you know a second language and have some time to spread the TF2 love? We have a translation call here.

Received Queries

Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure + AUs (no + maybe) Maximum limit on submissions + livestreaming progress (no + yes except final result) How direct is direct with out of frame comics? (very direct) Post-processing SFMs (yes) Mental health categories + submitting fic for writing (stick to the list + yes)

Anticipated Queries

Crossover: I have a great idea for a crossover with [world]! Awesome! Just be sure to let us know before you get to work. After all, we can’t appreciate the brilliance of your work if the reference flies over our heads. If it’s something we know, we’ll add it to the list. PS: No Overwatch. We haven’t played it or seen any of the canon media, so we probably won’t get it.

Mental Health: What if I want to discuss a condition you haven’t mentioned?

That would be difficult for us to judge, since the conditions listed either apply directly to us or to family and friends. The only exception here is if your work is informative. Otherwise, you might want to consider one of the other categories.

Creativity: I’ve got a great hobby I want to share with the world! But it’s not on the list?

Cool! We’re flexible about this one, just be sure to let us know before you get to work and if it’s something we’re familiar with, we’ll add it to the list. We’re trying to keep it to things we can judge from experience.

When will you announce the winner?

We don’t know either! It’s our first rodeo. The announcement will depend on the number of submissions we get. Spread the love!

Who even are you?

Two ladies whose love for TF2 has continued to grow over the years =) If we used our actual blogs, you’d know our favourite ship is ajksldkfjgla ;)

Questions, comments, suggestions? Feel free to message us here on Tumblr or via email: uggredzomb at gmail dot com

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2artcomp #the rules

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jesterofdiretimes · 7 years

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About me:

Mental illnesses: BPD. anxiety, Avoidant personality disorder, bipolar, inferiority complex, severe anxiety and severe depression along with severe trust issues, multiple personalities.

(Now onto the good stuff..) Age: 20

Personality: shy, quiet, excitable/depressive, childlike demeanor

Name: you can call me Jon,

Residence: Florida,

Height: Barely 5'4 ;~;

Weight: chubby monkey

Photo? Just ask!

Hobbies: sleeping, eating, gaming , watching cartoons,

Interests: Huge history buff,(Sengoku Japan era is my fave), WW2 airplanes, WWE. NHL, readings manga, watching anime, video gaming, pre 1980’s stuff, namely early 1900’s, Avid book nerd Modding, watching 90’s cartoons, watching YouTube,

Religion: buddhist

Political stance: primarily conservative (don’t hate me tumblr ;~;)

Sexuality: asexual,

Proud owner of 10 cats, I love animals,

. (/p>

(Nonsexual!) Turn offs: smoking (personal reasons!) narcissism, ego-maniacs,

turn ons: people like me, (oh now im the narcissist), kind people, clingy people, affectionate,

Anything else just ask..?

various crap: Tattooes: none that im aware of

Piercings? Nope

Drink? No

Smoke? No

Im against both, you can do it, I won’t judge you. But I don’t Condone either due to personal reasons.

Is bad at: Math

Living

Being independent

Flirting/being in a relationship

EXTREMELY NERVOUS individual Proceed with caution Favorite music: anything but gospel Mostly 2006-2008 emo crap or metal from the 1980’s, I LOVE 1920’s-1960’s music, namely jazz, and big swing music. Atomic era stuff.

Favorite bands: led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Celldweller, devildriver,

Number of failed relationships: 16

Number of times been cheated on: 14

Favorite author: Stephen King, but I also love Shakespeare, and Plato, along with bram stoker. (Namely, Merchant of Venice,plato’s republic, and Dracula)

Favorite food: Burgers/sandwiches

Random fact: Im a loner by trade, I love swords,

Favorite game?: probably any bethesda game, namely new vegas. (Modded to breaking point)

Favorite system? Ooooh I have over 2000 video games on my computer alone, about 50 PS3 games, But I love the GBA.. Ok how about this! Portable?: GBA

console? PS3

Computer: my shitty old pc.

And that’s it I guess. want to know anything else? Inbox me! Or message me :)

I..don’t know what happiness is really I hope to find a girl I can settle down with, I aspire to go into Archeology or work for the FBI, dunno which

QUESTIONS!

Place I’d love to live? I know it sounds extremely cliche but..Hawaii It’s intoxicatingly beautiful, Italy is also a choice (again cliche), or Japan. (Cliche) But Hawaii, I just love the whole island thing. Italy for the mountains and countryside. (Maybe irish countryside) And Japan, I’d have to live in the countryside. I couldn’t take a city, although I’ve fancied living in New York. But I’d just love to live isolated with no fears.. To travel to a market, go home Maybe own a farm (in Hawaii,lol) manage it, and repeat..

Most traumatic thing to happen to me? 11/7/16: finding my grandfather dead on the bathroom floor. He had a heart attack and I had to call 911, but it was to no avail, he was DOA. I felt stupid for calling them but..I didn’t know what else to do. I miss him everyday, he was one of the only people who I felt worried and carried about me. Im not gonna go into detail (you can ask me) but, it was horrifying for me. I still have nightmares.

Coke or Pepsi? Coke all the way, coke classic to be precise, I shouldn’t be allowed near it. I can drink buckets of the stuff.

Do you have an ego? Depends I literally either don’t care about myself at all or im #1.

Any other blogs? Yes actually but this one has the most followers and is the most active. Sort of my personal blog (in order of most updated)

Video-game blog

Depression blog

Conspiracy/fact blog

Want the names? Ask.

Favorite color? Red and black. (Both)

(Will be updated further on)

#me #about #gettoknowme #mylife #amicoolyet?

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