livingfictionsystem

[livingfictionsystem]

Georgians: "Ah, our meal is completed. Let's sit, order another drink, and continue to talk. The server will be tipped well to compensate, but I just can't move with a full stomach."

Fucking New Yorkers: "We flee from clean plates. We fear them."

-Xanthe 🪶

#new yorkers #georgians #southerners #northerners #regional differences #let me order another glass of wine I'm not done

[livingfictionsystem]

-Rune 💠🩵

#disassociative identity disorder #did system #did alters #trauma holder #she/her #goth girls #witchy girls #demi-girl

[livingfictionsystem]

I'm sorry, if I may point this out:

Ask #1: "So what would your ideal revenge be?"

Ask #2: "Would your revenge include hurting people?"

Ask #3: "Wow, obsessed with revenge much?"

What happened there.

-Vex [Protector]

Wow, you seem a little bit obsessed. How often do you daydream of revenge?

I'm primarily transposing the feelings of my alters onto this but---on behalf of Sparrow and Xanthe, I have to ask;

If you were horrifically sexually abused, psychologically tortured, lost a husband to a cult, were made homeless, and then stalked and harassed afterwards for speaking up about it, would you shrug that off?

As for me, it's difficult to hold many grudges on behalf of myself. Most of the time, I wonder if I don't deserve it. But mess with my brother or the protector of my system? I'm going to have a giggle out of you getting your comeuppance, that's a fact.

-Rune 💠

#ask #anon #Rune's reply was fine but really no one said anything about that? #even wierder if it was all the same person

[livingfictionsystem]

How were you widowed?

I assume you mean Xanthe. Xanthe was after the Faerie House debacle. They fell in love with someone in the cult who was also probably a system. (The other theory offered was that they are a singlet, channeling past lives and/or Lucifer, so systemhood is the more reasonable conclusion. Particularly since they've admitted to systemhood at least twice and then promptly forgot or retconned, which is one of the more telltale symptoms.)

Xanthe's marriage on March 20th, 2019, was to two alters of this likely system, Seran and Visarden, who were pretty frequently co-conning at the time but still spoke to Xanthe separately enough for Xanthe to know each individually. (Visarden had antiquated and European mannerisms and used UK spelling, for example. Seran was more Rochestarian and modern.) It wasn't legally arranged, but there was a ceremony. I personally was in attendance.

One year later, the cult was psychologically breaking Xanthe, (suicidal episodes, paranoia that was misplaced but generally justified, considering, and rapid-switching), so Seran took a romantic break from Xanthe on March 11th, 2020, promising they'd resume the relationship the following July. Visarden, in those times, seemed markedly absent from the front.

Visarden last switched back in on that 25th of May after Xanthe had learned of an unforgiveable betrayal from Seran and had a nasty breakdown. (Seran seemed remorseful at the extent of their own betrayal and seemed to allow a brief reunion as a bit of mercy.) Visarden expressed shock at what Seran had done and assured Xanthe that their relationship/marriage remained unchanged by Seran and Xanthe's break, and that he still loved them, which comforted Xanthe. He even specified that "Marriages in Faerie can never really end." Seran switched back in and that was the last anyone had seen of Visarden.

Seran failed to resume the relationship; suspiciously after Rowan announced they and Xanthe wouldn't be getting back together via a Tarot reading.

It is thought that, given Rowan's iron grip on their partners and their grudge against Xanthe at the time, that loving Xanthe simply was against the rules, and that Visarden had to be kept from the front and eventually phased out for Seran and the others to survive living with Rowan.

A lot of people have said that alters can't die, but, yes, they can. They can split irreparably, like Aelaris has, or they can go dormant for the rest of the body's days. Either one of these could have happened to Visarden. It's largely believed he wouldn't have allowed what the cult would later do to Xanthe, nor would he have allowed the other hosts' treatment of Xanthe, including the retconning of what he was. (It's even been suggested lately that Visarden was only a "character", as if fictives don't exist and he wasn't expressly at odds with Seran's treatment of Xanthe. Which. 😒)

Given as Visarden's been missing since May of 2020, it's very unlikely he'd ever make a reappearance. Xanthe grapples with this idea with varying degrees of acceptance, as you might imagine. The two of them are likely historical fantasy fictives created to survive an abuser's fantasy world, so there was a lot of unique kinship there. Xanthe no longer considers Seran and themself married, as they had officially broken up, but Visarden's last conversation with them specified they were still together.

-Vex [Protector]

#anon #ask #disassociative identity disorder #tw: dormancy #tw: splitting #tw: alter death #tw: death #grief

[livingfictionsystem]

Wow, you seem a little bit obsessed. How often do you daydream of revenge?

I'm primarily transposing the feelings of my alters onto this but---on behalf of Sparrow and Xanthe, I have to ask;

If you were horrifically sexually abused, psychologically tortured, lost a husband to a cult, were made homeless, and then stalked and harassed afterwards for speaking up about it, would you shrug that off?

As for me, it's difficult to hold many grudges on behalf of myself. Most of the time, I wonder if I don't deserve it. But mess with my brother or the protector of my system? I'm going to have a giggle out of you getting your comeuppance, that's a fact.

-Rune 💠

#anon #ask #ugh #think a little maybe

[livingfictionsystem]

"The aim of socialism is not to alleviate poverty but to create conditions under which poverty is impossible" ~Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism

#oscar wilde #wilde quotes #socialism #poverty

[livingfictionsystem]

A relative on FB: "I never know which version of you I'm going to get!"

Well, that's mildly validating.

-Xanthe

#disassociative identity disorder #did system #did alters #system stuff #sysblr

[livingfictionsystem]

do u think sparrows partner would hurt rowan or vali? 👀

Like physically? Someone's digging for lawsuit material lmao

But yeah no, it'd look waaaaay too bad for us optically tbh. So much that Rowan would probably be Hoping for it. But I think Rowan, seeing and knowing there's someone around who's trusted with All the details of what happened to Sparrow, would feel too afraid about to try more of their shit.

I picture it more to be like an intimidation theater sort of thing. Sparrow's partner is p edgy and could pull off a good warning to stay tf away just by existing tbh. And Sparrow wouldn't have to worry about venturing around Rochester and potentially being confronted/messed with.

And it'd ruin that creep's day for sure lmao

Nothing fucks Rowan up more than people actually knowing the truth

As for Vali, he's such a floundering accessory of a person that no one would bother with him by himself. Kind of the human equivalent of a sun fish. We tell the truth about him too, the lies about having a psychology degree, how he made up a twin who died tragically of an overdose, how he pretended to be fluent in Russian and hilariously proved that wrong; but mainly to clown on Rowan for marrying the moron. They're somewhere between Rowan's puppet or comedic relief lol.

-Rune 💠

#sparrow never put full details online or anything and really only trauma-dumps to that level with their partner #so i think they may be the only one alive that knows the Full thing #including Sparrow's alters #also Xanthe has NPD #like a lil PR team in their brain going “OPTICS” #so no #anon #ask

[livingfictionsystem]

Take a deep breath, quote Wilde, and repeat: "I fear for the day when I won't be misunderstood."

-Xanthe

#Oscar wilde #oscar wilde quotes

[livingfictionsystem]

what's your ideal revenge for all your enemies?

Funny enough you asked this when the least vengeful of us was fronting lol

I mean, ideally, we want them all unable to ever do to anyone else what they did to us. So, as a base, for everyone to know what they did to us and others and for any new friends to be able to Google them to know to stay away. There should be no more victims.

But as far as specifics, Sparrow, who was horrifically sexually abused by Rowan "because Fae love to keep humans as pets", has said that he'd love for them to end up absolutely powerless, unendingly alone, and abandoned. "Just as isolated and hopeless as they made me."

Rowan would also p much be nothing without their little posse or their parents forking over money to rescue them on a regular basis lmao. No friends, no partner, no family. That'd be nice.

I'd also like to see what would happen if Sparrow's partner and Rowan crossed paths irl 👀 I'd pay to be a fly on the wall for that one lmao

For Apollo, who started a lot of this with his blackmail and psychological torture, I think it'd be fitting if something he was invested in and cared about ended up all being a lie.

He forced Neb/Sparrow/also myself into dormancy for eight years and was p vocal about preferring them to Xanthe, so I hope that he Does miss them, and I hope he knows that Sparrow fucking hates them. And is dating someone Apollo hates lmao

Idc if that's petty.

As for me, also abused pretty bad by Apollo, I've had pleasant dreams of him stuttering around and trying to answer interrogative questions on a livestream about breaking our ribs, beating us for not finding his wig cap for a cosplay fast enough, and a lot of the other fucked up shit.

For Vali, it'd be hilarious if he tried to go to us for help after Rowan throws him under the bus one too many times, because Xanthe would just laugh at him.

For AJ, they make their own hell lol

It'd be funny if no one never donated to AJ's bullshit again. Which as much as they yell at their friends for like, trying to help, might have already happened.

And Sage, I'd LOVE to see how their friends/LARP people would react to the news that they've been harassing the mentally ill on behalf of an actual pedo/rapist lmao

But yeah, I think that'd be fitting. Just for the truth to be out and the consequences of that to be a fair cause and effect.

-Rune 💠

#revenge #anon #ask #tw abuse #tw sa mention

[livingfictionsystem]

See, the thing is, a couple of different friends that went alone to see Wilde on his deathbed reported that his last words were, "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do."

Which means in his delirious, dying, agonizing last hours, he thought of a clever phrase and made sure he kept saying it each time a friend would visit to make sure that'd get penned down as his last words.

If that is not the Biggest mood in the entire world, I don't know what is.

-Xanthe

#oscar wilde #wilde quotes #earl of epigram #wit and dramatist

[livingfictionsystem]

From my book, "Reviving Reality."

-Xanthe

#cult survivor #cult #escape from a cult #cults #cult trauma #tw: cults #disassociative identity disorder #memoir #authors of tumblr

[livingfictionsystem]

It's no wonder that the autistic/transgender Venn Diagram is so vast when so many of us watched a Pokémon evolve and understood, "Oh, wow, it's called this now! And look, it's even more powerful and awesome-looking than it was before!"

-Xhaxhollari

#transgender #trans identities #autism #pokemon

[livingfictionsystem]

why do you and your freinds have so many stalkers? were uou all part of the same cult? how big is it?

We were the whistle-blower to Rowan Janiszewski's Faerie Cult from 2020 on. The cult honestly isn't Too big in number, generally not exceeding more than ten, it's just that Rowan grew up locally and has been sending their white knights after us.

They've even recently been doing things like giving away free massages as bargaining chips for their clients to confront my bar regulars about me daring to speak out about them.

Rowan has sexually assaulted multiple people including a massage client, had a history of stalking, has attempted to murder people, has drugged people, has poisoned people, has made me homeless, and has gone through the private journals and documents of roommates. I know all this, have screenshots and witnesses to pretty much everything, and they want me silenced.

But of course, they know more people locally.

Home team advantage vs. We moved here five years ago.

I'm also frequently posted in a DID hate group on FB and probably Reddit and elsewhere.

Even just by daring to exist openly as a system has inspired the most violent resentment from your basic "psychology is a scam" truthers. They'll hide on my profile and share private screenshots and such.

Sometimes those two factions team up.

-Xanthe 🪶

#ask #anon #stalking

[livingfictionsystem]

We couldn't stay on format because we were drunk half the time 💀

#sysblr #did system #disassociative identity disorder #did alters #meet the alters

[livingfictionsystem]

chemical dependencies don't work that way. unless you're claiming to have multiple separate physical brains lmfao

I mean idk why it works like that but it does

If you'd like to offer a different explanation to why some of our alters can't go more than two hours without dying for a smoke and others can't choke their way through a single cigarette in two weeks and don't crave it, I'd love to hear a reasonable counter-offer of reasoning, but this is a p commonly discussed thing within systems. 🤷‍♂️ and it's consistent between which alter does what.

Same with booze.

But like the point stands that you think I'm doing all this to fake this for the pleasure of interacting with the psychological equivalent of flat-earthers but go off ig lmfao

-Sparrow 🧷

#it's also the same with different alters and different pds #theyre still researching this tbh #ive heard weirder

[livingfictionsystem]

On April 26th, 1895, Oscar Wilde, famed flamboyant wit and dramatist, was charged by the crown with 25 counts of "gross indecency." Otherwise known as, "homosexual acts in Victorian times."

He was known for his wit on the stand, reportedly making members of the jury laugh so often that it infuriated the judge. Such as this hilarious banter:

Oscar Wilde: "Yes, I had a bottle of champagne on ice, against my doctor's orders."

Edward Carson, persuction: "Never mind your doctor's orders!"

Oscar Wilde: "I never do. :>"

He was sentenced to two years hard labour. The sentence cost him his family, his career, his home, and, heavily traumatized, he lived his remaining three years drinking and taking in the sights in either France or Italy. He largely never wrote creatively again and he died at the age of 46.

Many credit his decision to stand in trial rather than flee to accelerating the acceptance of queer culture, and some have referred to him as the LGBT+ "Jesus." (He's also made the comparison. His self-esteem was wrecked in prison but his ego decidedly was Not.) His original version of the Picture of Dorian Gray contained a homoromantic confession between two characters. He was a feminist, a socialist, and an Irish Liberationist.

His last words were reportedly: "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do."

#oscar wilde #wilde #irish poets #irish writers