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#loveless is such a disappointment oh my god
The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein is better aro rep than Loveless by Alice Oseman but y’all aren’t ready for that conversation yet
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roseghoul26 · 7 days
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Chapter 6: I'd Live And Die For Moments That We Stole
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Synopsis: A fic based off the song “ivy” by Taylor Swift. After a startling introduction to the man, Arthur Morgan became the most important part of your life. Married at a young age to an older, wealthy man to help your family, you were trapped in a loveless marriage, your only sense of escape with the rugged cowboy. Will you be able to keep your affair hidden, or will your husband find out, and destroy the last thing that made you happy?
Tags: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Strangers To Lovers, Infidelity, Fem!Reader, She/Her Pronouns Used For Reader, Period Typical Misogyny, Emotional Manipulative Relationship (not with Arthur), Mostly Follows Timeline of Game, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, First Kiss, Tags Updated Per Chapter
Author's Note: so ttpd was released while writing this, and oh my god some of the songs on there work a little to well with either this fic or arthur morgan in general
also was not expecting so much attention from the ghoul fic and i will continue to write for him, i just still want to work on this too!
Taglist: @lokiofasgard12 @ultraporcelainpig @that-one-beannnn @morethantheycansay
Chapter List
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Hans was home for three and a half weeks. 
Your days were either spent alone in your house, Hans shutting himself in his office, or out on the town, heading to dinners, plays, movies, and miscellaneous events that you hardly remembered. It was always a blur to you, anyway. 
You’d only caught glimpses of Arthur throughout the past weeks. He’d sometimes be roaming the streets of the cities you were in, keeping his distance, but you’d always feel his watchful eye on you. It made those days better, knowing that in a way he was by your side. 
If Hans noticed the extra eyes watching the two of you, more specifically you, he didn’t say anything. He still acted the same, attentive and loving husband in the public eye, cold and disdainful behind closed doors. It was exhausting, but you pushed through. 
The two of you had been at a party all night, your feet ached and the muscles of your face were strained from smiling so much. You had just walked into your house, around midnight, and you were exhausted. Hans had immediately retired upstairs, and you followed after him, getting ready for bed in your closet.
 You pulled off your dress, the fabric itchy and uncomfortable, and you had slipped into your nightgown. Slipping into bed beside Hans, you fell asleep rather quickly, and the night passed dreamlessly, much to your disappointment. 
You woke up alone, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary was that he didn't come down for breakfast, not responding when you called for him. When you knocked on his office door, there was no response. Confused, you peered outside, pleasantly shocked to find the carriage missing. He’d never just left like that; there was always some sort of heads up, and he always requested your company in bed.
You were nowhere near upset, though, and you gleefully cleaned up the kitchen. You spent the next few days in your garden, luckily not as wrecked as it was the first time, your planters holding up well. 
It was the third night when you heard a knock on your door, and you couldn’t help the giddy smile on your face as you bolted to the door. You didn’t have to look through the peephole to know who was there, and you opened the door quickly. 
There was Arthur Morgan on the other side of your door, hair longer than you remembered, but that same dazzling grin on his face. 
You stood there, not quite shocked, but your brain was still unsure of how to react. Your body knew, though, and you nearly tackled him to the ground with the force of your hug, arms wrapping around his neck. 
He wasn’t expecting your reaction, a startled whoa leaving him, but he immediately reciprocated the hug, like he needed this just as badly as you did. You sagged into his arms, a breath you’d been holding for the last three and a half weeks finally being released. Resting your head on his chest, that comforting smell of him made you smile. Oh, how you missed him. 
“I missed ya too, darlin’,” he chuckled, and you tilted your head back to look up at him. It was adorable, the way his ears turned red, flustered by your sheer adoration of him. 
You snuck a hand up into his hair, combing through the longer strands that stuck out from beneath his hat. He sighed under your touch, his eyes threatening to flutter close. “It’s so long now,” you muttered more to yourself, and you watched him raise a brow. 
“I just keep forgettin’ to cut it,” he admitted.
“I ain’t complainin’,'' you laughed. “It suits you.”
He just hummed noncommittally, and the two of you stood in silence, simply taking in the presence of the other. You saw the way his eyes flicked down to your lips and then back up. The motion was quick, like he was unsure if you’d want him to kiss you again, if you thought the last time had been a mistake. 
You didn’t give him a chance to get lost in his thoughts, standing up on your tiptoes to brush your lips against his. His beard was longer than last time, too. It was less of a stubble and more of a soft layer of hair, and it tickled less than last time. 
He smiled, barely able to contain his relief, and you felt him cup the side of your face, bringing your face back for a proper kiss. When his lips slotted against yours, you reconfirmed your belief from the first time; he truly did feel like home.
“I really did miss you,” you whispered out once the kiss broke. 
“I’m here now. Unfortunate for you,” he chuckled, and you slapped him lightly on the chest. 
“Hush, Arthur,” you admonished, shaking your head. “C’mon, let's get inside.”
It took a few moments for you two to release each other, and you took his hand once you stepped apart, leading him into the house. You didn’t even have to ask before he was taking off his boots, and you were dragging him upstairs. 
The implications of what you were doing were lost to you as you brought him upstairs, but you heard Arthur mutter your name, confused but not completely against the idea.
“For the life of me, I can’t get into his office,” you explained. “I ain’t got the skills you do.”
“And I do? Quite rude of you to assume.”
You scoffed, sparing him a disbelieving look. “Arthur, did you forget how we met?”
By this time you’d reached the top of the stairs, standing outside the locked office door. Excitement caused your heart to race, not ready for what you might possibly find in the office. Even though you were raised to not be a snoop, it was quite fun digging into peoples personal items, and it was especially fun when said personal items belong to your husband. 
“Fair enough,” Arthur conceded, and he pulled a few items out of his pocket, tools you assumed he was going to use to pick the lock. “This’ll just take a sec.”
Arthur got down on his knees in front of the door, and you watched as he fiddled with the tools, silently listening for something. You had no idea what he was doing, but it was quite fascinating to watch. Besides, you got to appreciate the way hands flexed and fingers moved as he worked the lock.
It was less than thirty seconds before he was standing up, a small yet proud smirk on his face. “It… it’s that easy?”
Arthur laughed at that. “Nah, it was unlocked.”
“You’re fuckin’ kidding.” 
He stared at you blankly before laughing again. “You shoulda seen your face. Yes, I’m kiddin’.”
“Arthur Morgan!” That just made him laugh harder, and you cherished the sound, locking it away in your brain. You joined in, chucklining lightly. “You bastard,” you teased. 
“Sorry,” he replied, not sounding sorry at all “I had to. Forgive me.” 
You shook your head, leaning against the wall. “I don’t.”
“Then what do I gotta do to earn your forgiveness, darlin’?” He moved toward you, brushing his fingers over the apple of your cheek, tucking away hair that wasn’t there.
“I could think of a few ways,” you murmured, not so subtly looking at his plush lips. 
Grinning, he didn’t bother responding before kissing you, hat knocking into your head. “Am I forgiven now?”
You snuck in one last quick peck before responding. “I guess.”
“I’ll take that.”
He held your face for a few moments longer, eyes sparkling with adoration. His expression then sobered, and he shoved the tools back into his pocket, removing his hand and setting it on the doorknob. “You ready?”
You took his other hand, nodding, and he held the door open for you as you stepped into his office for the first time.
It was way messier than you expected. Stacks of books and piles of paper seemed to loom over you; one stray gust of air could topple it all down. There were high shelves lining one of the walls, filled floor to ceiling with different books, knicknacks, and various loose papers stuck between the books. A large oak desk stood in the middle, a large leather chair tucked in, equally as covered with papers, and various splotches of ink had long since dried into the wood.
There weren’t any windows, making the room stuffy, and you could feel the dust tickling your nose. You were left speechless, feeling suddenly overwhelmed with the amount of stuff in front of you. “How…” you managed to let out, and Arthur just shook his head. 
He made his way to the desk, your hands still intertwined, and he began to shuffle through the papers, spreading them around on the desk. His eyes danced around the papers, and he let out a sigh, nothing sticking out to him. You opened the drawers, only seeing junk and even more paper. 
You were about to shut the final one before a rectangular shape caught your eye. Pulling it out, you set it on the desk, the book automatically falling open. Leaning in to investigate further, you realized it was a ledger book of sorts, but everything was written in shorthand or codes, indecipherable to you. 
“The hell?” Arthur murmured, just as confused as you were. “This even English?”
“Maybe?” You flipped the pages, the words changing but still not understandable. “I mean, it’s obviously a ledger, but that’s all I can tell.”
When you flipped a few more pages the same thing happened, you sighed. “I thought it would’ve been that easy, just finding the ledger book and having everything you needed to know be right there.”
“It usually is. Criminals ain’t the smartest sometimes.” Arthur pulled out the chair and sat in it. You sat on the arm rest, leaning against Arthur a bit, your foot still holding most of your weight. “Let’s see here…”
Arthur looked through the papers on the desk again, and you were able to catch glimpses of what they were; they were a mix of receipts, letters, and various documentation. There were a few names, none of which you recognized, and you watched Arthur scribble them down into his notebook. 
“I think that should be good for now.”
You weren’t going to lie, you had spaced out a bit while scanning over the various documents, the writing quickly turning to a blur in your eyes. You jumped when Arthur stood, nearly causing you to topple over, but you felt him secure you with a hand on your waist. “Already?” You asked.
“I’ve got a few names’ I’ll see where they lead.” Arthur shrugged. “I don’t wanna spend too much time in here, anyway.” To prove his point, he led you out of the office, shutting the door behind you. 
“Then why’d you come over?”
“Ouch.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” you chuckled.
“Will you ever believe that I come over just to see you?”
“Probably not.”
Arthur rolled his eyes, and began to lead you back downstairs. “Where you takin’ me?” You asked, and he didn’t respond, getting his shoes on and leaving the house. “Arthur?”
“You’ll see,” was all he said, not letting go of your hand as you descended the stairs. 
“What’re we doin’?”
Arthur sighed. “Have you ever heard of a surprise?” 
The familiar form of Bear caught your eye, and you made a noise to get his attention. It worked, the horse flicking its head towards you, nickering excitedly as you and Arthur approached. 
“Hello, Bear!” You let go of Arthur’s hand, striding over to the horse happily. You missed how affectionately Arthur looked at you, a warm smile on his lips as he watched you. “How’s my favorite boy doin’?”
“That’s the second time I’ve been insulted by you today.”
You ran one of your hands on his snout, the other patting his neck. “Ignore him, Bear. He’s grumpy.” You rambled out praises to the horse, and his eyes visibly relaxed, practically pressing himself into your hands. “Such a good boy, Bear.”
You felt his lips on your neck first, the soft beard barely tickling your skin. His arms were next, wrapping over yours, keeping you pressed close to his chest. “What did I say ‘bout spoilin’ my horse, darlin’?” He rocked with you side to side, occasionally pressing his lips against your skin. 
“He deserves it,” you giggled. “He always brings you back to me.”
Arthur stilled. “I… I suppose you’re right.”
“I am right.” You broke the tension that threatened to form with a verbal jab, and Arthur chuckled. 
His arms released your body, but he kept his hands on you, trailing them over your arms, and then settling on your hips. “You ready?”
“Sure, but you-”
Arthur cut you off by grasping your waist, lifting you effortlessly and setting you on the back of Bear. A startled cry left your lips, and you glared at Arthur once he set you down. “A warning next time?” You tried to not seem as freaked out as you were, clutching at the saddle in front of you for some sense of stability. 
“I did,” he responded, chuckling when your glare returned. When he got into the saddle in front of you, you instinctively wrapped your arms around him, clinging on to him. “You good?” He asked, concern in his voice.
“I…” you felt ashamed to admit to him, “I ain’t been on a horse in… years. Not since I was a little kid.”
“Bear’s a good horse. He’s never bucked me off, if you’re afraid of that.”
You exhaled shakily, your head resting on his back. “Alright, just don’t expect me to let go.”
“I’ll never complain ‘bout your hands on me,” he almost proudly admitted, and in response you just tighten your grip. “Ready?” He asked again.
“Yes.” You didn’t bother asking what you were doing again, knowing you weren’t going to get an answer. 
Arthur kicked his heel lightly, giving Bear the go ahead to start moving. You refrained from gripping on to him tighter, not wanting to choke the poor man, and you watched the scenery begin to move past you. Arthur kept a slower pace, no doubt a pace he normally wouldn’t ride at, but his consideration towards you had you melting. 
Even though most of the wind was blocked by Arthur’s frame, you still felt it grace your skin, hair streaming behind you. It felt nice, not too chilly, and it helped you relax.
It took a few moments for you to lift your head from his back, your arms loosening, settling lightly on his waist. “Alright?” He asked, the wind not loud enough to overpower his voice yet. 
“I think so. Are… are you gonna tell me yet?”
“Do you trust me?” Interesting response, you thought. 
“Of course.”
“Then trust me when I say you’re gonna like it.”
“You’re no fun,” you teased, feeling comfortable enough to remove one of your hands from his waist, flicking the back of his hat.
Arthur grumbled something, but you could hear his smile. 
He rode on for a few minutes, and you took the time to just absorb the beautiful scenery around you. It was much more enjoyable to look at when you weren’t crammed into a stuffy carriage with a miserable man. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a large stag, hidden between the bushes. His head followed the both of you as you passed, but it quickly turned when a doe approached him from one of the bushes. You didn’t get to point them out to Arthur before they were scampering away, the stag following the doe into the thicket, the sound of branches snapping the only proof of their existence.  
You truly had no idea where Arthur was taking you, your attention focusing back on the road. He had returned to the main road, sure, but he wasn’t heading in the direction of any major towns. The thick woodland had turned sparse, making way for rolling hills of grass with the occasional flower, with flocks of animals out enjoying the incredible weather. 
As Arthur continued the slow pace, you began to feel antsy, and you were also feeling a bit brace. “You can go faster,” you leaned forward to tell him, and he looked over at you. 
“Yeah?”
When you made a comfiring noise, he grinned, looking positively excited. It made him look so young, so carefree, and you couldn’t help but grin in response. 
Securing your grip back around him, he urged Bear on more, who was more than happy to comply. A startled laugh left you as Bear went faster, your smile widening, wind whipping against your body. It was exhilarating, but you needed more. 
“Faster!” You had to start shouting a bit, the wind becoming more intense. 
Arthur shook his head, chuckling, and you watched him spur Bear on again. He broke into a gallop, the world around you becoming a blur. You don’t think you’ve ever moved this fast in your life, and it was incredible. Laughing joyfully, you felt Arthur do the same, leading Bear along the road with small pulls on the reigns.
You’re not sure how long you two tore through the countryside, but it felt like no time had passed before Arthur was bringing Bear to a trot. You were still laughing, brushing back your hair which you were sure was a complete mess, but you didn’t care.
Artur led you off the main road, leading you up a large yet gradual hill. The top was completely flat, with only a few dry bushes and patches of grass interrupting the stone. A few small rodents looked at you curiously, before retreating to their burrows. 
Dismounting, Arthur didn’t secure Bear to anything, but you knew that he trusted him to not run off. After swinging your leg over, Arthur helped you down, holding you even when your feet hit the ground. Something flashed over his face as he watched you catch your breath, the wide grin on your lips never ceasing. His thumb rubbed into your skin where he held you on your waist, which didn’t help to calm down your racing heart. 
“Good?” 
You nodded. “I’m wonderful. That was… that was incredible. You get to do that every day?” You asked, something similar to envy in your voice.
“If you ever want to take him out for a ride, just let me know. I think Bear’d love that.”
You glanced back at the horse, who was watching you expectantly. Laughing slightly, you left the comforting hold of Arthur, patting Bear's neck. Arthur moved beside you, grabbing something fabric looking from the saddlebags, as well as a bottle of what assumed to be liquor. He extended an arm for you, and you gladly took it, linking your arm with his. It was similar to the way Hans would have you on his arm, showing you off almost like an accessory. This felt different, though, like it always did with Arthur. 
You shook the thoughts of your husband out of your mind; right now was about you and Arthur. He led you to the edge of the hill, and you let out a gasp at the view. You were able to see what felt like the entirety of The Heartlands, rolling fields of grass as far as the eye could see. Mountains dotted the skyline, and you could see a few small towns littered about. Hoards of different animals grazed, from bison to deer to turkeys. 
So enthralled by the view in front of you, you hadn’t noticed Arthur laying out a blanket beside you, until he tugged lightly at your arm. He pulled you down to a seated position, sitting behind you so you could rest your back against him. His arms immediately wrapped around you when you did, pressing a kiss to your cheek before settling his head on your shoulder, watching the landscape with you.
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, and you heard Arthur humm in agreement. “How’d you find this?”
“I was huntin’, and I was tracking somethin’ that led me up here. As soon as I saw it I knew I had to bring you here.”
You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Arthur thought of you while he was out on his travels. “You think ‘bout me a lot, Arthur Morgan?” You teased, pushing away a feeling you were too scared to name still. 
“All the damn time,” he admitted, an airy laugh leaving him and tickling your ear. “You know that.”
“Maybe. Or maybe I just like hearin’ you say it.”
Arthur didn’t respond, just holding you like you were a lifeline, and you found that you could spend the rest of your life wrapped up in his arms. Eventually, conversation started between the two of you, catching the other up on what had transpired over the last few weeks, the liquor bottle Arthur brough being uncorked and passed between the two of you. It was a decent tasting whiskey, but you only took a few sips, not wanting to have this moment be clouded over with fuzziness. 
His arms had stayed wrapped around you for most of the time, but over the past hour had slowly let up, choosing to run his fingers over your body instead. It started with small touches on your side, before trialing up and down your arms and legs, to up your shoulder, brushing against your neck. It was like he was trying to memorize your body simply with his touch.
Every time he brushed over a sensitive area of your body, you’d shiver, and he’d smile, changing the infliction of his voice if he was speaking. It was hard to stay focused, either on his words or your own story. 
This was the fifth time you’d trailed off while you were speaking, and you laughed, resting your head back. “You’re distractin’ me.”
“You want me to stop?”
“Never.”
Arthur chuckled, and you felt those calloused fingers brush over your arms again, moving down to your hands. “Can’t help myself. Beautiful woman in my arms, it’d be a crime not to touch her.”
You’re sure your cheeks were dangerously warm. “Well, she ain’t complainin’,” you breathed out, and you felt his hands rest on the back of your, fingers weaving into yours. 
“You ain’t wearin’ your ring.” He sounded like he was almost in disbelief. 
You glanced down at your left hand, his much larger once encapsulating it. You’d taken it off a day ago, setting it in your nightstand. You’re not quite sure why you did it, but it felt like fifty pounds had been lifted off you when you took it off. “No, I ain’t.”
His right hand grasped your chin, turning your face towards his, which continued to rest on your shoulder. Pure longing was written across his face, but his lips were possessive when they made contact with yours. The grasp shifted from your chin to the side of your face, fingers tracing patterns into your cheeks. It pulled you in closer to him, but you needed him closer. You needed to feel him. 
You shifted so that you were facing him, hands bracing on his chest. You felt him sigh when your hands traveled up, over his neck and tanging into his hair. His hat hit the ground behind him, and he pulled you into his lap, your lips never separating once. The new angle had you leaning above him slightly, your hands in his hair pulling his head back, but he didn’t mind. 
You had forgotten what it was like to be kissed with so much passion, so much energy, and you couldn’t help but admit to yourself what you’d been trying to bury for weeks: you were in love with him. 
It made you gasp, pulling away from the kiss and resting your head against his. It wasn’t that you were against the fact that you were in love with him. But you had no idea if he felt the same. You knew he cared about you, there was no denying that, but was he in love with you? Knowing what kind of life Arthur lived, you didn’t see him as the committal type, not wanting to be bound to a person or place. 
He took you pulling away as you needing a moment to breathe, smiling gently at you. A large hand cupped the side of your face, and you melted into his touch, like you could respond any other way.
You debated just confessing to him right there, but anxiety welded your mouth close. Instead, you opted to just kiss him again, quick but no less lovely.
Sitting back on his lap, the sun was beginning to disappear below the horizon, just behind Arthur. The lighting made him look ethereal, brown hair golden, and you’re sure you were staring at him like a lovestruck fool. “You’re so beautiful,” you sighed out, laughing a bit when he looked away embarrassed. 
“Shouldn’t I be sayin’ that to you?”
“You already have. It’s my turn.”
He chuckled, still not believing what you were saying, but he was humoring you. “Alright, darlin’, how much whiskey did you have?”
You were drunk on something much better than the whiskey, that’s for sure. “I mean it, Arthur. You’re gorgeous.”
It was clear that he still didn’t believe you, but he thanked you anyway, kissing you lightly again. Resting your head on his shoulder, you wrapped your arms around his broad body, holding him in a embrace. 
You sat in Arthur’s lap for a good while, simply holding each other, and you felt the occasion kiss on your head. The two of you didn’t feel the need to talk, and you got lost in the sound of Arthur’s breathing. 
The sun had set, and as it left so did its warmth, cool night air hitting your body. You shivered, Arthur’s body heat doing nothing to protect your back from the cold. “As lovely as this is, I’d hate for you to get sick,” you heard Arthur murmur, and you hated that he was right. You didn’t want to leave, but you knew you’d regret it if you didn’t. 
“Alright,” you huffed out, untangling yourself from him, which just made you more cold. Standing up, you grabbed his hat for him as he stood, and you placed it atop his head. He grinned up at you, grabbing the blanket and draping it over his arm, extending the other for you again. 
Just like he had led you up the hill, he led you down to where Bear was resting, his ears flicking happily when he saw the two of you approaching. You gave him a few pats before Arthur lifted you on to his rump, and even then you were sure to murmur to him. Arthur handed you the blanket, and you wrapped it around your shoulders, keeping it secure between your two bodies once he joined you on Bear. 
As he took off, one of his hands went back to rest on your thigh, like he was making sure that you were still with him. Like you’d want to be anywhere else. And if someone tried to take you away, then you’d fight like a cornered animal to get back. 
The ride back was different at night; scenery that was once peaceful and comforting now becoming foreign and terrifying. Arthur went quick, not as quickly as before, but fast enough that said terrifying scenery went by fast. 
The ride felt shorter than you wished, the familiar sight of your house causing you to sigh, holding on to Arthur a tad bit tighter than what was necessary. 
Pulling up to the porch, he dismounted quickly, helping you down again. You were sure to leave the blanket on Bear, giving him a goodnight pat before climbing the stairs, Arthur following behind. 
You lingered in the doorway after he held the door open for you, an invitation for him to come in on the tip of your tongue. But you couldn’t bring yourself to say them, not wanting to scare him away. So you just smiled at him, kissing him lightly on the cheek. 
“Wait,” you heard him say before you were about to wish him a good night, “I’ve got somethin’ for you.”
Curious, you cocked your head as he dug into his satchel,pulling out a torn out piece of paper. “Read it when you get inside,” he instructed as he handed it to you. 
“Should I be worried?” You joked.
“Nah,” he chuckled. “Just… you’ll see when you read it.”
Well, now you were excited. “Okay…” you laughed, before kissing him for the final time that night. “I had an amazin’ day today, so thank you. Sincerely.”
“Of course, darlin’. Have a good night.”
“‘Night, Arthur. Come back to me, okay?” 
He nodded, tilting his hat at you, stepping down the porch. In the back of your mind, you remembered the lessons you’d had in the backyard with Arthur, learning how to shoot and gun. You remembered that today you were supposed to learn how to reload it, but it had completely slipped from your mind until now. You let it pass again, though. There was always next time.
You stood in the doorway until Arthur was long gone, clutching the note to your chest. When you finally retreated inside, you sighed happily, still caught up in the trance that the night had been. 
Sitting on the couch, you looked over the small piece of paper, clearly torn from his journal. There was an address scrawled across the top in that familiar messy cursive, some place in the state of Ambarino. It didn’t make much sense to you, so you read the following note left by Arthur, which started with your name. 
It took a bit of asking around, but I was able to find the new address of the Van Buren estate. From what I can tell, they’re doing well. It wouldn’t be a bad time to reach out, if and only if you feel ready.
- A
There was something scribbled out before his name, like he was planning on writing sincerely or something like that, but he must’ve deemed it too formal for a note like this. 
You sat there, shocked, tears welling in your eyes as you stared at the note. Two years of no contact with your family was almost over. It was so close. 
Leaning back against the couch, you held the note back to your chest, thanking the heavens for Arthur. There was no denying it now; you were so in love with him.
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abcwordsurge · 2 months
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Hii!! I read your intro post and you mentioned liking Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet :D Who are your favorite characters in both and why?
Thank you ☺️
oh! this was a delightful surprise. I just updated my intro post today (well, yesterday as of posting this), and I didn't think anyone would notice haha. thank you for reading it ^_^
I absolutely love both Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet, and honestly it's nice to have an excuse to talk about them on my blog. however, since you asked specifically about favorite characters, this will inevitably be a long one. I can never get myself to shut up about characters.
my favorite Ninjago characters are Nya and Jay (and honorary mention Kai). my favorite Romeo & Juliet characters are probably Mercutio and Benvolio (but I could make a good reason for any of them to be the best haha). very long rant under cut
--
so! let's start with Nya. first, I have to point out that she was horribly mistreated in canon. it was sort of inevitable- since she was "the girl," I feel like the creators felt like a lot of her arc had to be... being the girl? I'm just still a bit disappointed at her missed potential of just, y'know, being a ninja.
that being said, she's a flipping icon and I love her with all of my heart, and every time she's on the screen it makes me smile. granted, I totally project onto her (and her brother, our favorite Kai~), but even if you ignore my personal headcanons of her being aromantic and loveless, she's such a smart, stubborn, and creative character, and I love that for her.
also Jay. I love Jay. I feel like, as a fanfic writer, I treat him the exact opposite of how I treat Nya. every time I write about Nya, I write about her experiences with being aromantic, or her desperation to prove herself, things like that. when I write about Jay, it's like Jay's in love with Cole, or Jay's in love with Nya (actually unrequited love my beloved), or Jay's in love with Kai. (side note- I actually headcanon Kai as aromantic, too, but sometimes I put that headcanon on pause so I can ship him. because oh my god he has such cute ships.) anyway all this to say that Jay's an adorable goofy little guy and I like putting him in situations. (he also has massive angst potential but angst isn't really my forte.)
ok. Romeo & Juliet. before I get into specifics, I must say that the characterization in this play is criminally underrated. if it were released today, it would have leagues of fans obsessing over both Romeo and Juliet, and arguing over whether Romeo is a romantic or just an idiot, and getting into shipping wars (especially Benvolio/Mercutio vs Tybalt/Mercutio- though Bencutio is obviously superior). the fact that it only has 2000 fics on AO3 is a tragedy to rival, well, Romeo & Juliet.
(also- for my WttT followers and moots, if any of you have gotten this far, I have to say that we have very nearly surpassed Romeo & Juliet in number of fics on AO3. keep it up)
now if I was forced to pick favorites in Romeo & Juliet, I would have to say the aforementioned Benvolio and Mercutio- both as a duo and as individuals, they are so flipping wonderful. I saw a local production of Romeo & Juliet over the summer, and ever since then, I have been deathly defensive of them. I will fight over the fact that they're both so well written and well characterized. (I also super love them as a ship- in the production I saw, when Romeo and Juliet met for the first time, there were plenty of duos in the background, slow dancing, and Ben and Merc were dancing together, and I just... I have no words. they're perfect.)
anyway. Benvolio first. Ben is such a big cousin sort of character, iykwim. there's something so tragic about the fact that he tried from the very beginning to get everyone to stop fighting, but no matter what he did or said, he couldn't save them- not his cousin, not his best friend. (I've never seen Hamlet, but I'm told that Benvolio is the Horatio of R&J. Shakespeare knew which archetypes work, I guess.) he's so awesome. I love him
and Mercutio! Merc is just a kid you guys. he's a teenage boy. he's so funny and free spirited and every time I watch R&J, all I can think about is "he's here for a good time, not a long time." because it's so true! his recklessness and immaturity leads to his death! (another theme, perhaps- because while he did sort of bring it upon himself, I would never say it's his fault- but that's a rant for another day.) Merc is just so immediately lovable and his death hurts me the most. his death is the turning point between a mostly light hearted play to the tragedy that we associate with it, and that makes it hurt even more. (and Ben holds him when he dies and Ben is left all alone at the end, and oh my god Shakespeare is famous for a reason.)
so, yeah. this is very long and mostly unedited, sorry. you pushed the right buttons to keep me talking for hours. maybe I'll start posting more about my other fandoms, because this was a lot of fun. thank you so much for asking :D
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Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x14 The Tower
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Summary:  A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my    rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time.  There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season.  Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.
Word Count: 915
Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28)
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The past year without her had been hell.  He’d missed her every day, every moment of every day.  He’d tried everything he could to forget her, to alleviate the ever present pain, but the only thing that had brought him even the smallest modicum of comfort was the remembrance of their parting.
Good.
That one word had told him everything.  Despite her walls, she did care for him, she would miss him–or at least she would have had she retained her memories.
It was that reminder that had gotten him through the early sleepless nights.  It was that promise that had given him hope when he’d finally been given a chance to return to her.
He would like to believe he’d be pleased to learn she’d been happy, that she’d found love again, but selfish bastard that he was, it had cut like a knife through his heart when she’d told him the eight months she’d spent with Walsh had been real and that she’d loved him.
Now, reunited, back in Storybrooke, memories restored, the walls she’d built around her heart were tenfold what they had been in Neverland, and in his lower moments he almost wondered if the year without her–but with the memory of her good–had been less painful.
“You know what Swan?” he asked peevishly as they stomped through the snow-covered ground searching for a trace of the witch. “Whenever you’re around, I inevitably find myself trekking through some manner of woods or forests courting danger.”
She gave him a sardonic grin. “And here I thought you weren’t afraid of anything, always looking for the next adventure.”
“Oh, is that what this is?”
“Isn’t it?” she asked, her words dripping with sarcasm. “What the hell were you doing on that ship?  I’m guessing it was one swashbuckling tale after another until you decided to come back and save me.”
He couldn’t stop the stab of pain her words gave him.  He knew this was a defense mechanism, but gods above, did she truly think that of him, even in part?
“Exactly,” he answered shortly.  She wasn’t the only one, after all, who could employ defense mechanisms.
She stopped abruptly and turned to face him, all trace of mocking sarcasm wiped from her face to be replaced by a seering intensity. “You’re lying.”
“Excuse me?”
“What happened back there?” she pressed. “What aren’t you telling me?”
The shame washed over him as he remembered the sordid business with Blackbeard, Prince Eric and Ariel.  The last thing in the world he wanted was to see the disappointment and revulsion in her eyes when she heard the tale.  More deflection was certainly in order.
“Nothing,” he said shortly, turning to continue his walk. “That’s my tale and I’m sticking to it.”
“I still don’t believe you.”
Killian mentally groaned.  She was not giving this up.  It was time to take drastic measures to change the subject.  “Let’s leave it at that, and you can just say thank you.”
“For my memories?” she asked, “I already did.”
“For saving you from a loveless marriage,” he said, turning toward her, looking into her eyes, looking for an indication it was true.
“Is that what you think you were doing?” she asked.
“He was a flying monkey,” he said flippantly.
“I didn’t know that,” she answered, and he could hear the pain in that statement.  It made him feel like a cad, pressing on her still open wound.
“Were you considering it? His proposal?”
“Does it matter?” she asked.
“Humor me,” he answered, both needing and dreading the answer.  He knew this woman, knew her better than anyone.  He saw the festering wound her walls hid, knew it needed to be lanced in order for her to heal.
And so he pushed, even though the act hurt him nearly as much as it did her.
“Yes, okay?” she finally answered, her tone steely. “I was in love, so of course I was considering it, but as usual, he wasn’t who he said he was and I got my heart broken. That enough humor for you?”
Killian let out a long breath, feeling the pain and betrayal coming from her in waves.  Behind that thick, nearly impenetrable wall lay a heart that was bruised and bloody, but one that still beat, one that would heal, one that could find happiness again.
He could only hope she’d allow him to be the one who helped her find it. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m glad to hear that.”
If anything, her frown deepened. “You’re glad to hear I got my heart broken?”
Killian took a chance.  He stepped forward, letting his feelings, his sincerity, his care for her shine through his eyes as he looked deeply into Emma’s. “If it can be broken, it means it still works.”
For one bright shining moment, he thought she might kiss him.  Her breath caught, she swayed into him, her own feelings, which she’d been trying so desperately to hide, to banish, shown through her lovely green eyes.
And then abruptly the walls came up again.  
Without a word, she turned away, stepped past him and continued on toward the farmhouse in the distance.
The disappointment washed over him, and he allowed himself to feel it for a moment before sighing and moving forward.
The woman he loved–the one he knew loved him–was still in there.  He simply needed to be patient.
NEXT CHAPTER->
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iliektehhaxs · 3 months
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me? personally? i need to be elwin’s sweetheart who knows the concealed entrance to the archduke’s chamber hidden behind a wardrobe and visit him nightly when anabella is absent with her courtly ladies to go shopping in dhalmekia.
those noises coming from the archduke’s chamber? well duchess anabella was in a terrible mood after her first son didn’t awaken… she’s simply eager to get a son that she wants… yea she came back to the capital the day after she left
Oh my god bitch this is so fucking MESSY!!!!! And I love it actually. I’m not saying I condone cheating but I am saying Elwin deserved more.
His lips taste the same as the last you’ve felt them on your own all those years ago. How he held you close, refused to let you go even as the church bells rang and his attendants called for him as the wedding began—it all feels the same as the day you lost him.
But he never lost you, not truly. Not when he placed the ring on Anabella’s finger, who tutted at the sight of it, nor when the priest announced their official union as man and wife.
“Rather plain,” she whispered, scrutinizing it as if it was nothing more than dirt on her hand. “But it will do for now. There will be time for you to make a better one.”
Ever the gentleman, he simply smiled and nodded, not truly paying attention to her. Not when he could see you nearly teary-eyed in the back of the crowd. It took all his willpower to turn away and kiss the bride as he should, but it only broke his heart further when he saw you leaving the reception from the corner of his eye.
That was then, when he could not afford to disappoint his family, but this is now. Now, he kisses you as if he’ll never get the chance to do so again.
“Elwin, please,” you whisper under hushed breath, clinging onto the front of his shirt. “We cannot, Anabella could return—“
Even as you warn him you move to his rhythm, follow him as he drags you to the bed and palms at the string that hold your bodice together. He knows you’re right, but he can’t find it in himself to care anymore.
“Just a moment longer, please,” he begs, licking at your chest the moment the delicate fabric falls to the floor.
A lie, one you both are familiar with. A lie you’ll keep telling yourselves because the truth is far more devastating, because the truth would have Elwin trapped in a loveless marriage, and you to be left wondering what could have been. At least this way you could live another day knowing whose heart belongs to you, even if it had to be under the cover of nightfall.
It takes both hands to stop yourself from moaning, enjoying the heat of his tongue against your sensitive nipples, grinding against him with no shame.
Just a moment longer, you’ll both say, until the next day when you’ll say it again.
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noemitenshi · 11 months
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Love, endless
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So much has changed between us, now. Ever since that fateful day. Ever since my love has been in that accident, leaving him crippled and broken. Oh, how I wish I could’ve spared him that. How I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. But I can’t, I can’t and it's a constant reminder of how that. How I’ve failed him – the way things have changed between us.
Everything is on me, now.
Where we are going, where we are staying. Food and hygiene. All of it. I have to take care of all of it. I have to take care of him. He can’t, anymore. There's so much he can’t anymore. Won’t anymore... no matter how I plead with him, no matter what I do. He lost his voice, too and neither one of us knows sign language.
But we make do. I learned his cues, his signs. I can read him like no other. I know him, like no other. It’s brought us closer together than before – being that responsible for another will do that.
Being that responsible for another is difficult. I’m all he has left. All there is for him. If I go… but I won’t. Of course not. I’ll never leave him, as long as I live. I love him. I love him in this, too. Even if he’s more like a child than a partner now. Not fully there anymore. He gets confused, easily, distracted, easily and so, so forgetful.
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I have to guide him, even, or he’d just wander off, get lost. But he doesn’t take well to skin on skin contact, not since the accident. And he used to love it so much! All the little touches, brief assurances of love and support – they are gone now. He hardly ever touches me like that anymore. Doesn’t like me doing it, either. And so I can’t just take him by his hand, or his arm and lead him (god, I just want to thread our fingers together, walk with him side by side...). It won’t be, it can’t be anymore. So I had to find another way to make sure he’d follow my lead.
We’re bound together, now, so he won’t get lost. The world is a dangerous place, after all and I have to protect him.
I will.
With my life.
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I keep him well fed, too. He gets cranky otherwise and I don’t like seeing him like this. But, it’s hard. The world is barren, now. And sometimes we go weeks without food. I try my best, I always do, for him, all for him. But even my best isn’t good enough some days. It hurts me, to see him suffer. See him cry out for something I can’t give him. He doesn’t understand and nothing calms him then. Keeping him from going off on his own is most difficult then. He’s still so strong.
But so am I.
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I bathe him, I change him. He doesn’t like that. No sick person likes that, in my experience. Makes them feel weak. But he can’t, on his own. We tried. So I do it for him, as I do everything else – even as he gets angry at me. Fights me. A common occurrence now in his confusion. It breaks my heart every time he does. He’d never have done that... before. Would never have hurt me like this. Made me hurt him back. But before is gone and this is what we’re left with. Cuts and bruises and chains.
How cruel life is.
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I cry at night.
We found out the hard way that we can’t sleep cuddled together. He gets these violent fits since the accident. The first night after, he almost killed me in my sleep. I still feel his hands around my neck, clawing. The horror of waking up to my love hovering above me, his beautiful face twisted into an angry grimace as he tried to kill me. I managed to fight him off, just so, and now we sleep apart. I have to keep him away. Even while I miss his arms around me, while I miss the warmth of his body against mine.
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We still have sex. But this changed, too. It’s seldom now, and so different from before. It’s always me initiating, always me coaxing him, taking him. He’s so passive. He didn’t use to be. Oh god, he used to be so sensuous, so delightful... I want that back. I hope for it, every time. And I get disappointed, again and again. It’s almost loveless now, a pale, pale, shadow of how it used to be between us. I try not to let him see. I try to be thankful for every little bit he gives me. Even as he doesn’t even look at me.
Sometimes, I can’t help but resent it. Sometimes, I can’t help but get angry.
He knows I don’t mean it.
He knows I’m happy I didn’t lose all of him.
Even as he is now, barely a shadow of his former self, I love him dearly. With my life. It’s why I’ll never leave his side, no matter how difficult it gets. No matter how many tears I cry. He’s worth it. I’d do anything for him, to keep him.
This is how much I love him, oh god, how much I love him.
Sometimes I want to rip my own heart out. It’s too much, too much. I know I can take more than other people, was made for it (for him). But sometimes I think even I
will break
But then you won’t have anyone, love, will you? You won’t survive without me, can you? Oh I know, I know, you didn’t mean it. I know you’re sorry, of course you are, love.
Oh, love, let me kiss you. Mhm, you like that, don’t you? You always have – my touch on you. Ah, yours, on me – like that, like that, don’t stop. Don’t stop now, love, kiss me, oh yes, please kiss m—
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He’d forgotten, just for a moment, that his love was a zombie, now.
A moment was all it took.
|The End
[the comic was a commission done by the lovely, very talented and so so patient @pinkpiggy93​ (thank you again, I can’t keep saying it enough haha) honestly, her art is amazing and you should check it out!]
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jimothystu · 1 year
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thank you @donttelltheelff for the tag!! <3
what book are you currently reading? just started Loveless by Alice Oseman, and I'm slowly making my way through No Country For Old Gnomes by Delilah S Dawson and Kevin Hearne
favourite movie you saw in theatres this past year? idek when i last saw a movie in theatres lmao. probably like, the last star wars movie that was released a few years ago??
what do you usually wear? anything comfy lol. lately it's been sweatpants or loose jeans and a sweater or flannel
how tall are you? 5'5" ish i think
what's your star sign & do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event? taurus and idfk
do you go by your name or a nickname? usually nicknames. most people call me jenn, but family and family friends call me jenna
did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child? well i sure as hell did not study or am looking to become a paleontologist or veterinarian so... lmao no.
are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one? not in a relationship. have a crush. not gonna share here lmao i'll let y'all guess
what is something you're good at vs. something you're bad at? good at writing. also bad at writing lmfao
dogs or cats? idkkkk cats ig?? but i love my dog to death
if you draw/write/create in any way, what's your favourite picture/line/etc. from something you created in the last year? oh god khsjnndkjsnsa. uhhh. idk??? i really really loved writing this 1634 fic and this 2072 fic. i'm also really happy with the current original story i'm working on it's totally not a gay hockey romance wdym
what is something you would like to create content for? i'd love to do more painting or digital art in general!
what's something you're currently obsessed with? arber xhekaj and his relationship with jural slafkovsky!!! also the hockey team(s) i made up for my gay hockey romance novel lmfaooo
what's something you were excited about this past year that turned out to be disappointing? ig maybe the journalism program i was going to start in the fall but ended up having to drop out before it begun so i could have surgery on my back that only partially helped my pain :D don't get me wrong i am so grateful to have had the surgery and for it to have decreased some of my pain but :/ fuck man chronic pain is stupid
what's a hidden talent of yours? i can kind of sing??
are you religious? not really, no. slightly spiritual but it isn't a big part of my life
what's something you wish to have at the moment? a fucking break dude. or just, yanno, a brain that worked. more realistically, a job would be nice lol
tagging @wonderlandsandi @lifeofpriya @introvertedperson16 @lam-ila and anyone who wants to do this <3
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pepsiwriteswords · 2 years
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Get to Know Me Tag
Hey, hi, hello! Thanks for the tag @emelkae!
Relationship Status: single :) Favorite Color(s): uhhh ... pink, purple, orange, yellow? Favorite Food: hate this question!! what is food? ummm. bread, honestly, but you can never go wrong with tacos. xP Song Stuck in My Head: Gentleman Soldier (& the drums they go ratatatat & the fifes still loudly play, say, fare thee well polly my dear I must be going away) Last Thing You Googled: ...amphetamine salts vs dextroamphetamine salts bc ADHD meds! my starting dose was useless but I swear I felt more of an effect from those than I am from my new dosage & I'm half convinced it's bc I got a different kind of pill this time for some reason >.> Time: 9:05pm Dream Trip: ummm.... Ireland, Scotland ... oh! someone told me about a thing in Greece (real life River Styx, hell yeah) so I wanna check that out. xP Last Thing You Read: like, finished reading? shit, I think that was You've Reached Sam (I was very disappointed). Unfinished ... um. Mean Baby by Selma Blair (memoir, have only stopped reading bc book is Too Big for my bag xP) The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by VE Schwab (enjoying a lot, but it's also too big for my bag) & I'm currently reading Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu (on page 109/156, totally meant to finish it tonight & start another book tomorrow but I took a 'nap' instead, whoops.) Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: again, finished? bc I'm enjoying Addie LaRue, but for a finished book .... Loveless by Alice Oseman! I swear I have at least half the book underlined bc it made me laugh, or bc I related so hard... I was maybe 50 pages in & raving to my sister just like 'if you still don't really understand asexuality after hearing me talk about it for 4 years, read this book omg'. It's so good, y'all. Favorite Thing to Cook/Bake: ummm.... I ... don't cook. >.> & I haven't baked in a minute. grilled cheese, maybe? Favorite Craft to Do in Your Free Time: .....I'm saying um a lot, but. ummmm. I ... don't? Like, I got into knitting for a hot second, but all that's been in a drawer/box/on a shelf for at least a year and 3/4 at this point. (Oh no, longer! I was still in AZ when we did the knitting thing! It's been 3 years!) I tried crochet but couldn't get the hook to do the thing. I honestly can't think of any other crafty thing I've tried, sooo. Yeah, no. I don't. Dx Most Niche Dislike: ummm. okay, actually? the zebra printer on my desk at work. I am the only one that hears the high-pitched whine/hum it makes all day but my god I hate it. Opinion on Circuses: I misread that as 'citruses' earlier. xP Um. I wanna go to one - I think I maybe have a vague memory of going to one? But all I really remember is noise & cotton candy & that it was nighttime, so maybe it was a very vivid dream or just a fair. I dunno. Do You Have Any Sense of Direction: Nope! None! Do not ask me where I am or how to get anywhere bc I don't know!
xP Okay, soooo. Open tag! bc I dunno who to tag for this. it has been days since I was tagged & I know I saw a few people do it & now I can't remember who. so! If this shows up on your dash & you wanna play, have at it! (Do it. @ me; you read my rambling, I'll read yours xP)
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cndybracelet · 2 years
Note
1, 11, 12, 19 <3
1. book you've reread the most times?
probablydefinitely rooftoppers by katherine rundell it's The book for me i've loved it since i was 8 or so and it's still such a lovely read <33 oh my god i've also got a copy of water wings by morris gleitzman man it's a tiiny book and it's probably half nostslgia cuz i've had it forever but it makes me SOB everytime. it's definitelyup there in the top 3 books i've cried over the most
11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?
um well i am a huge fan of the collins french/english dictionary (that's.. not totslly a joke😭😭 it is a MUCH better dictionary than my afr one romance movie protag falling in love for the first time voice i didn't know a dictionary could be like that. i'm kind of genuinely emotionally attached to it) i used to read so much more non fiction as a kid wow. i should read more (generally) oh a while back i read what if by the guy who wrote xkcd and i really enjoyed it!!!!
12. did you enjoy any compulsory high school readings?
so!! i didn't like the one we did last year it was boooooring but the one from the year before (which was cut because of covid but i read it still) i liked a lot more, when morning comes by arushi raina!! i need to give it a reread actually. we're doing to kill a mockingbird this year which yeah sure i did enjoy reading it once the tension picked up in the second half & there's a lot to say about it but eh i'm gonna be rereading it for exams but that's it i guess. we're doing life of pi next year so i hopd that'll be good!!! ALSO i enjoy shakespeare but our teacher rlly makes it so boring😭😭😭 as long as i watch a performance/movie of the play too then it's absolutely GREAT but like he's so weird about it like all the other classes watch the movie in class but we don't :(
19. most disliked popular books?
err really not sure on this one. i was disappointed by loveless :( uhh i'm not a fan of twilight at all whatsoever. my little sister looves it though. idk who colleen hoover is i keep seeing uquizzes aboht those books i dooooont care!!! anduhh i've had a bit of a weird hangup about reading the seven husbands of evelyn hugo idk why, i'm going to read it soon though and maybe it'll surprise me!!!
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GUYS I JUST FINISHED LOVELESS. OH MY GOD. THIS BOOK IS AMAZING. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. fr I just AUGH I have never read such a good platonic love story!!!!!!!! All the dramatic grand gestures just killed me- Moulin Rouge is my favorite movie and I was immediately excited when the first couple chapters mentioned it and when Pip said the thing about Your Song, and so when I got to That Chapter™ it just fucking KILLED ME like immediately from the title I was like HOLY SHIT and it did not disappoint. God I love Alice Oseman I need to read all of her books immediately
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hogbu · 2 years
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The tearblowing world creaks around par Фе́ммe скатале. Via Flickr : The war is still there Then I looked into her young eyes from eighty years she looks back into my young eyes and she is gone to where? where has her soul gone? body found yes but her very mark her sign lost it seems to me now though I feel that she is here still all around me windsouled to love is always to live somehow as long as our eyes are still this colourdull glass and I will not now know her still this parched scorched earth endless wheel of suffering great ocean of pain bloodbucket of grief roaring mouthgaped ooooh of disappointment and despair will not then exist and we shall smile we shall smile as big as the big crescent moon which lies on its arched back and dreams of cats and stars and snow and as before we saw smiley shining stars and disreaching them our arms would wave like a desperate windmill hoping hoping to welcome them home now we shall touch them close to our hearts and what we are and what we may be maybe why I have failed? and all I could have been and am not and all I had hoped for and were not and everything I hoped and hoped and hoped and hoped for I prayed in the morning and I prayed in the evening and I got not from the rotgut God when all the world starts to shiver and shimmer and shake all around me and all the worldlight was piecemeal and peaceless this is the atomic pain of the world the molecular tears the final crystalline structure of misery that wind its way around the wooden snakejawed growing spine of the worlds, listen; I was taken to be betrayed whenever ishate to be betrayed wherever is hate as the body is abused by man there in the patrapassion egde of the world the hanging God is invaded in heart and soul I suffer you all suffer you suffer all I suffer suffer suffer suffer the tearblowing world creaks around and we are broken loss loss light an darkness light and darkness it seems to the little blue and green world that they do not know each other but they must finally the Master says that Satan too shall be forgiven forgiven and suffering before we suffer too here`s sixpence here`s sixpence go and play and play in the flaky pale fields that still are somehow this land and spend oh spend your life away spend your spend your night away and waste and waste your life away under the bright starlight under your yewboned archlight body you are dead under this shitstained sky you are dead under the loveless muddy almoststars you are dead under the sleeping closed eyes of the bhagavan you are dead under the road and the track and the path along the green grass slipping away along the snaking way you are deady deady deady deady dead goodnight the lights are dead and so are you the light is dead and so are you
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chateautae · 3 years
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maybe i do | kth. III
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➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.
↳  part of the high-class series!
➵ pairing : taehyung x reader
➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 17k (im sorry omg)
➵ warnings : oh boi we have aNgSt, serious familial issues, swearing, multiple fight scenes, mainly verbal but there is a slap in one, mentions of a wound, mentions of alcohol, (there’s honestly a lot that goes wrong in this chapter but at least tae and the reader have each other), sexual tension :o, bit of possessive!tae, (i mention a short reader a lot but i just wanted to say you’re beautiful even if you’re tall! tae is just very tall to me askldjs)  
➵ a/n: i’m back and hoLY is this chapter loaded (and a lil unedited forgive me!!) i’ve finally finished school and get a whole month off now! who knows what works i’ll release in that time 👀. as always, feedback is appreciated loves!
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chapter three : “the window opened one time with you and me”
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“Mother?” You stood frozen, completely and utterly shocked as to how your mother was just opposite of you, smiling brightly as if she hadn’t done a single thing wrong in her life and loved you unconditionally.
How incredibly wrong that was. 
“Y/N! How are you? Oh dear, it’s been so long!” Your mother threw her arms around your neck, pulling you against her for a hug you just barely returned. 
“Good. You?” 
“Oh, I’m great!” She beamed.
“What are you doing here?” You inquired, shutting the door after her entry.
“Ah, I just couldn’t believe my daughter’s married now, I wanted to drop by and say congratulations!” Your mother cheered, grinning widely as she began scanning the grand interior of your house, leering as though you weren’t standing just before her.
“Drop by? You could’ve just came to the wedding, Mother...” You suggested despondently, plastering a pained smile onto your face. You attempted to meet her eyes, though they rather seemed to sparkle at anything that appeared expensive.
Anything but you. 
“Oh, I was in Ibiza. I couldn’t just leave while my resort pass still had benefits on it, you know me.” She flashed you a cheeky smile as she playfully hit you, propping her heels off.
You nodded half heartedly, trying extremely hard to not lose it on her because you were in your home; a place meant for peace and comfort and didn’t have room for negative.
Not to mention, Taehyung resided just upstairs in his study with most likely his door open, and you didn’t want to risk bothering him if you raised your voice. 
“Ibiza was more important than your own daughter’s wedding, huh?” You spoke to yourself, nodding in a manner that would somehow help you accept the sad fact, though instead called forth a feeling you should’ve grown accustomed to by now.
Disappointment.
She knew about the wedding, you knew your father informed her of the ceremony along with its date and time. Though as she audaciously ogled the embellishments of your front foyer and spoke to you carelessly, she practically screamed she gave 0 fucks about your wedding. That what really mattered to her was living out the full experience of an expensive vacation than attending a life-changing night for her daughter. 
Typical. 
“Oh, c’mon now. When you put it like that it makes me seem so bad.” Your mother pouted like a child. “It wasn’t a real marriage, anyway.” She waved off the conversation as she ventured further into the house, bold enough to strike another conversation . “My God, this is the house of the Kim Taehyung?” Your mother’s eyebrows shot up, drinking in the grand size and wealthy look of the home. “You got very lucky, Y/N.” 
You cocked an eyebrow, incredulous of what she was insinuating. “What do you mean, Mother?” 
“Y/N, you’re married to Kim Taehyung. Do you understand how fantastic that is? For you?” Your mother was on the verge of scoffing, smoothing over her dress as she looked elsewhere. “He’s an incredibly rich man, and considering that life of yours it’s a miracle he ever agreed to marry you.” Your mother relayed nonchalantly as she caught sight of an exquisite vase. 
And there it was, the belittling. You’d mentioned before you were often disparaged and received numerous insults when anything concerned your status as the runaway heiress. But what you failed to mention was the person who claimed the #1 position as your largest and most incessant hater. 
Your mother. 
“Mother, it doesn’t matter to me whether a man is rich or not.” You countered, trying to quell your snippy tone but it was as grand a fail your mother was at being a mother. 
“What do you mean?” 
“Unlike you, I’m not obsessed with my husband’s money.” You almost spat with crossed arms, only this comment causing her to turn towards you. 
“Excuse me? I’m your mother, watch your tone a little.” She scolded quite lightly, before returning to inspect a painting. 
You scoffed, “My mother...” you repeated under your breath, rolling your eyes. 
“No mumbling, Y/N. Speak up.”
“I said it’s funny you’re referring to yourself as my mother.” You voiced clearer.
“And why is that so funny?” You could visibly see your mother failing to control her temper with you, masking it all behind a fake smile she mastered ages ago. 
“Because you’ve been anything but a mother.” You retorted, knowing exactly what this conversation was leading into. 
An argument.
“And you’ve been daughter of the year?” Your mother countered, sarcastic tone cutting the air, and it only made you more irritated. 
“Here we go again, the bad daughter narrative.” You scoffed. “Find something new to argue, will you?” You narrowed your eyes.
“And you believe your bad mother narrative is any better?” She sneered back. “I’ve even come to visit you yet this it how you’re treating me. When will you ever learn to be grateful?”
“Please, you chose a vacation over your own daughter’s wedding.” You held a hand up, gesturing against her audacity. “And when have I ever been ungrateful? I don’t remember biting the hand that fed me.” 
“No, Y/N, you didn’t bite the hand that fed you, you completely neglected and abandoned it.” She claimed, drawing closer towards your direction. “You left this family to pursue your own selfish desires. You’re the very definition of ungrateful.” 
“Excuse me? Definition?” 
“Yes, definition. You threw everything your father worked so hard for away. All he ever wanted was to provide his family with a comfortable life, but you instead wasted his efforts and made everyone's lives so much harder. Do you really think I’ll forgive you for what you did to your older brother?” Your mother voiced in an accusatory tone, bringing up an age old argument you knew was going to ravage any peace between you two. 
“That was not my fault, he was already due for the same thing in Korea, it doesn’t matter if he’s in the U.S now.” You argued back. 
“It’s all your fault! You’re the reason Yoongi hasn’t been able to come home in years! You ruined his entire life by making him uproot and take over the U.S faction when it was your role. Your decision to leave forced him into it!” 
“So you’d rather have my life uprooted and ruined than your precious son’s?”
“Because my son isn’t like you! He isn’t selfish at all, Yoonie is a hard-working man who’s always listened to me and your father, always rightfully prioritized the company. But you? You’ve only ever made things worse. You’re completely useless, all you do is tear this family apart. Your father has to pick up your work, you keep your brother out of this country and give me years worth of stress!” Your mother shouted louder than she should’ve, angry as her eyes revealed searing frustration, contempt. 
You were trying to negate the hurt you felt by her words, having trained yourself to endure their sharp sting, though no matter how many times you heard them, it never made it any easier. 
“Oh please, your favouritism is showing, mother.” You remarked with near tears, her disregard for you so disturbingly apparent it left your eyes watering. 
“Yoongi has always loved his work and the company, but I never have. When will you understand that? If I’ve ruined our family so much why have I never heard these same words from Dad or Yoongi? They’ve always supported me, understood and loved me regardless of what life I chose. Why can’t you do the same? Why can’t you just try to understand me for once?” 
“Because there’s nothing to understand. You’re an heiress to this family, you are meant to live for this company and this company only. You owe your father and I your life, nothing has ever been yours. The least you could do to pay us back is by rightfully working at the company and not being as much of a disappointment as you are now.” You mother’s tone was strict and resolute, utterly fed up with you.
“Cry me a river, mother. I don't owe you a single thing. You’re one to talk about working alongside Dad and the company, all you’ve ever done is use his money without a single care for his work.” 
“Excuse me?” 
“You heard me, Mother, all you do is use Dad for his money. You know next to nothing about business or the company and have the least amount of right to lecture me about it. At least I’m not a woman who mooches off somebody and lives recklessly!” You snapped back at her with tears just pooling your lash line, arms crossed tightly holding your chest where it felt your heart would collapse.  
“Do you understand who you’re talking to? Speak with respect, Y/N, I am your mother.” She tried to finalize, but you weren’t having any of it. 
“And I could care less. You’ve never once done anything to warrant that title. All you’ve ever done is travel the world and bathe in the luxuries your husband affords you without ever being there for me or Yoongi. It was always dad despite being so busy, it was never you. You weren't even there for my wedding, when I needed my mother the most. No, you’re someone who’d rather use your rich husband and forget he’s a person.” Your voice was shaking at this point, practically rattling. “You may not have been there for my wedding, but I would never do that to my husband.” You let everything out without a care at the point, flooding the tense air. 
Your mother seemed to completely lose it at this, her tone scarily still as she gritted through her teeth. “You wouldn’t do that to your husband, really? Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing right now?” 
You flashed her an incredulous look. “Pardon?”
“You’re married to one of the richest men in Seoul, and you think you’re not doing the same thing? Whose house do you live in? Whose food do you eat? Whose lavish lifestyle do you now get to relish in? It’s all your husband’s, not yours.” Your mother was practically spitting venom at this point, scoffing. “I must say, your quest for independence is interesting, having landed you in the exact same place you always berated me for. Look where you are now, mooching off your rich husband.” 
If words could dagger you in the heart and looks could kill, you’d surely be 6 ft. under by now.
Years, years you’ve been stuck in this constant loop of back and fourth with your mother, arguing the same 5 things you could never see eye-to-eye on. And no matter what she said, no matter the insults, the belittling, the verbal abuse she always spat your way; you’d grown used to it. Her words became normal, second nature to you and so you easily drowned them out. Her insults became useless weapons you simply dodged and avoided. 
But this, this was where your mother won. 
Her words dawned a laughable sense of irony on you, nearly physically reeling as though someone had punched you in the gut at the realization. It was raw agony, the very prospect you’d spent the entirety of this ordeal evading. 
To think the same independence you fought so gravely for, can so easily be erased and forgotten all due to marrying a rich CEO. It felt pathetic, unfair you had no choice but to marry Taehyung. It wasn’t his fault he was rich, neither was it yours. 
It was just coincidence, pure and utter coincidence. But to think this very coincidence would be the reason your stomach is churning and self-worth is collapsing; it was fucking unfortunate, miserable. 
“Leave my house, this instance.” There was no emotion in your voice, it was flat, vision clouded.
“What did you say to me?” 
“I said get out!” You yelled, the shrill in your voice evidence of tears. “I don’t ever want to see you again!” 
“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me! I’m your mother!” 
“You’re not my mother at all, you’re the worst excuse of one. Leave my house!” 
“It’s not your house, Y/N! It’s your husband’s, and you will end up living the same life as me, using your husband for his money!” Your mother had somehow made her way over to you, having the audacity to push you back by your arms, driving her point home by the act of aggression. 
You gritted through your teeth, eyes teary. “I’ll never be like you, I’ll never be a cheap woman who only stays with a man for his money. A woman who probably cheats on her husband with wealthy men in other countries!”
This was the moment your mother gasped scandalously, becoming so irate she didn’t hesitate to raise her hand and slap you across the face. 
You stood emotionless, not even having the capacity to feel shocked or in pain due to how normal this was. There wasn’t a single unfamiliar thing about the sting of her hand, the way her manicured nails scratched against your skin and worse, the way her wedding ring usually cut into your cheek to produce a small wound. 
It was all too familiar, making you scoff as if this was exactly what you expected from her, exactly what you've always known. 
“You still hit your grown daughter, huh? The last 10 years of it weren’t enough?” You endured the ache, swallowing back tears. You weren’t letting them spill, not at this. 
Not at something as undeserving as your mother. 
“You give reasons to, Y/N.” Your mother simply crossed her arms and looked away, showing the slightest hint of shame though never allowing it to leak into the proud and egotistical persona she assumed around you. 
A suffocating silence pierced the air, looming for some time until you spoke. 
“Leave this house, mother. I beg of you.” You pleaded, not out of desperation, though out of sheer tiredness. Tiredness of the same argument and the same insults you always directed each other, tired of the same outcomes that only ever lead to more bitterness tainting your relationship. “Don’t make this any worse, we’ve probably disturbed Taehyung upstairs.” 
Your mother looked at you with lightly raised eyebrows, inquiring. “He’s home?” 
You nodded faintly. “Yeah, so leave.” 
“Am I not allowed to meet him?” Your mother seemed offended. 
“No, you’re not.” You stated firmly, not caring about the sliver of respect you thought you had for her and instantly pushing her towards your front entrance, nabbing her shoes along the way. 
“What are you-” She didn’t even get to finish her sentence before you swung the front door open, guiding her outside and shoving her shoes in her hands. 
She was about to retort until you shut the door on her, locking it. You leaned against the wood as you heard her protests, not minding her calls as you allowed your constrained tears to finally stream down your face. 
It was too much, she was too much. 
Why could your mother never see eye-to-eye with you? Why couldn’t she be a normal mother? Why couldn’t she be supportive? All she ever did was preach how useless you were, how selfish and ungrateful your very existence was.
Of course someone like her could never understand, never understand the value of autonomy and achieving something for yourself; she’s never once done anything along those lines in her entire life. 
Her words ran deeper today than they ever have, sending a stifling feeling to swarm your chest, your self-esteem and everything alike collapsing along with your pride.
It hurt, it really did. To hear those words from the very woman meant to love you so dearly, so unconditionally only exacerbated the pain. It made you jealous of every child you was gifted with a kind mother, not daring to curse anyone for it but simply feel it was unfair. Even Taehyung had such a warm and loving mother. 
Maybe that’s why Taehyung was so warm. 
Taehyung. 
You realized you were out in the open shedding tears where he could possibly see you, trying to silence the sobs that escaped your lips. You only failed, agony tightening your chest and growing more painful the more you held it all in. So you clutched your hand to your mouth and made straight for the kitchen sink, running the water loudly enough to drown out the sounds of you candidly crying. 
Your cheek still stung, your heart ached and your mind spun endlessly, all while trying to desperately rid yourself of the worthless feeling inside you. 
And it didn’t work. 
Taehyung had been working, scrolling through his laptop as he diligently reviewed status reports, only to have a notification brighten his phone screen. He flashed his occupied vision towards it and caught sight of his security system alerting him of his front door. 
He grew curious knowing the housekeepers were shopping for groceries at this hour, causing him to tap the notification and display the camera feed of his front porch. He was welcomed by a woman he’s never seen, peaking his curiosity. 
He almost rose from his seat until he saw the woman turn towards the door in accordance with you opening it, assuming you most likely knew her as she smiled brightly and ventured comfortably into the home. 
Taehyung shrugged it off and returned to his tedious reading, staring at the practically blurring lines of text until he eventually began hearing raised voices from downstairs, his ajar doors and grand home producing an echoing effect that reached his study. 
Taehyung cocked an eyebrow as he grew slightly worried, discerning it didn’t sound like a friendly conversation. He abandoned his work and made towards the doors of his study, peaking towards the direction of his stair railings that overlooked the first floor of his home. 
More of the conversation became apparent, and Taehyung instantly identified it sounded more like a negatively charged argument than a conversation. His eyebrows furrowed the more he listened, knowing it was bad manners to eavesdrop though finding himself doing so anyways. 
“You heard me, Mother, all you do is use Dad’s money. You know next to nothing about business or the company...” Taehyung’s eyebrows shot to the sky, realizing you were speaking to your mother; the same woman you explicitly expressed was to be avoided at all costs and even winced at the mention of. 
He couldn’t forget that from the first time he met you. 
“...Speak with respect, Y/N, I am your mother. ” The crudeness in your mother’s voice was already indicative of your ill relationship, the harshness sounding like second nature. 
Taehyung grimaced. 
“...All you’ve ever done is travel the world and bathe in the luxuries your husband affords you without ever being there for me or Yoongi...” Yoongi? As in your brother, Min Yoongi? Taehyung only loosely recalled Min Yoongi lived and worked in the States, where he headed your father’s lucrative faction there.
He’d only met the mellow, though diligent man a couple times before.
“...I would never do that to my husband.” Despite the intense situation, Taehyung felt the slightest tinge of pride hearing you refer to him as your husband.  
“You wouldn’t do that to your husband? Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing right now?” 
Oh fuck, Taehyung thought. This isn’t going anywhere good. 
“You’re married to one of the richest men in Seoul, and you think you’re not doing the same thing? Whose house do you live in? Whose food do you eat?...”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. 
Taehyung became alarmed, silently drawing his index finger and thumb over his lips in frustration. You didn’t need to hear this, it was complete bullshit. Your situation with him was different, it was forced and coerced. Taehyung could tell you were someone who truly didn't favour using someone else’s money, and knew you were trying your damn hardest to adjust to the idea itself having to spend your life with him. 
He rushed out into the hallway where he began pacing, trying his hardest to contain himself and hope that you wouldn’t take your mother’s words to heart. Was this why you were so adamant about the fucking card? Because you had to hear shit like this from your mother? 
This was only going to undo the work he’d successfully laid out, thinking it would erase any convincing he had done about his money and what’s his is yours. This was bad news, he didn’t want you thinking any of your mother’s words were true. 
They simply weren’t. 
“Leave my house, this instance.”
“What did you say to me?”
“I said get out! I don’t ever want to see you again!”
Taehyung was becoming anxious, the argument was clearly escalating and he felt uneasy, an incessant feeling bothering his chest. 
There it was again, that same sense of protection he felt when he saw you practically shaking talking to that Kisoo guy. He didn't understand why it manifested, or why he felt it so emphatically. All he knew was after hearing the way your voice nearly cracked, unstable and troubled as you grew more emotional, he felt the strong feeling to oddly.. rescue you? 
It’s like he wanted to bolt down the stairs, physically stand in between the argument and force your mother out of the house, all while trying to persuade you what she said wasn't true. 
Why did he feel this way? This was none of his damn business, had absolutely nothing to do with him yet if it weren't for half the mind he had, he could’ve found himself racing down the stairs to defend you.
Taehyung shivered at the thought, shaking it off.
“... you will end up living the same life as me, using your husband for his money!”
“I’ll never be like you, I’ll never be a cheap woman who only stays with a man for his money. A woman who probably cheats...”
And not long after he heard the slap, evidently hard and painful in just it’s sound. Taehyung immediately froze in his tracks, halting his pacing as worry blossomed in his chest. He prodded over to hide against the edge of the wall that connected to his staircase, able to peak at the sight of both you and your mother stood before the front foyer. 
Taehyung felt pissed within seconds, again unable to decipher why he felt the need to protect you. Though what he did know was that he felt bothered, never wanted anyone to hurt you and he hated the very thought of it. 
Maybe it was because of his considerate personality again, or maybe it really was because of you. 
What made Taehyung grow even angrier, though, was the way you reacted, listening to you dub this as something that happened often, and he was uber pissed now. 
You didn’t fucking deserve that at all. 
It took him no time to understand your apprehension and natural disliking for your mother, wanting himself to never have to converse with her. He would most likely be rude and curt, replaying the same vile words she really had the nerve to say to her own daughter. Scratch that, his wife. 
Yeah, Taehyung thought. My wife shouldn’t be treated like this. 
He knew it was wrong, impolite of him to assume and judge a person so openly based on their cover, though Taehyung could tell these were your mother’s true colours, and any other persona she assumed would only be a farce. 
Taehyung watched as you simply shoved your mother out of the house, shutting the door only to lean against it and allow the tears you’d hidden to fall down your cheeks. Taehyung turned his back and leaned against the wall, concealing himself to give you privacy. 
He knew it was already rude to have eavesdropped, even ruder to look on at such a vulnerable moment. It was rude because he wouldn’t even be able to comfort you, only watch as a dumb-founded bystander; rendered useless because it wasn’t his place to console you.
He knew nothing about you.
He really didn’t know your situation, the relationship you had with your mother. He couldn’t step on your toes and give you advice as if he knew you, nor supply you with words that would make you feel better; contemplating he’d possibly never be able to. 
He wasn’t your remedy, he wasn’t your muse, just a man you were forced to marry and now have to live with. A man who stripped you of your independence, ruined your life all just by his mere existence.
 And so Taehyung found even more reasons to not rush to you, simply leave you on your own knowing he was partly the reason for your pain, your suffering. That your mother only said such things because of him, that she only insulted you because of him. 
So he found himself retreating, walking carefully back to his study to mind his own business and continue his work, complete it as though nothing happened. 
But as each step seemed to grow longer, heavier, he found himself unable to retreat. Unable to function knowing you were probably hurting, unable to ignore you and so blatantly turn his back on you. 
So in a hasty, irrational decision, Taehyung found himself turning on his heel and rushing towards the staircase. 
You continued to sob quietly, thinking if you just let it all out now, cried just about hard enough all the sorrow would leave your body. So that’s what you did, bit your lips to contain the aching feeling in your chest as your throat seemed to constrict, swallowing all your feelings down in an attempt to poorly control them. 
You were in your own world, the sink’s water masking any noise behind you, and so when somebody’s hand reached out to rest against your shoulder, you were completely startled. You jumped, quickly shutting the water in a flash and refusing to look back at the culprit to save your pride. 
Whoever it was, they couldn’t see you like this. 
Though when you heard his dulcet, deep voice calling your name, you knew exactly who it was.
“Y/N?”
You straightened yourself up, breathing out the emotions ravaging your chest and stabilizing your voice to address him. “Hey, Taehyung. What um.. what are you doing here?” 
Taehyung could hear your solemn attempt to cover everything up, feeling your sense of embarrassment practically fill the air. 
“Nothing, just.. wanted to see you.” Taehyung said, unsure of how to approach this.
“You’re probably busy. You should go back to work.” You tried hard to sound okay while you practically swallowed back tears, clutching the counter of the sink.
“It’s alright, not important.” Taehyung waved it off, letting his hard remain on your shoulder seeing you didn’t reject him. A beat of silence lingered until he spoke again.
“Can you look at me, Y/N?” There was no pressure in his voice, just the same soft consideration you’d heard at the hotel suite a couple nights ago.
And you hated it, hated that it made you want to give in, want to so easily follow his request and bare to him whatever he wanted.
Until your last braincell kicked in. 
“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry if I interrupted your work. Please go back to your study.” You voiced just barely above a shaky tone, trying your absolute hardest to sound just fine, seem okay. But the more Taehyung spoke, the more you felt your defense mechanisms slowly coming undone.
And you knew he knew.
“I wasn't interrupted.” He stated normally, his voice natural and yet he sounded so.. comforting? He was simply responding to you and yet his voice and presence seemed to soothe the sharp ache in your chest. 
It was fucking poetic. 
“I’m sure I did, Taehyung. Just please, return to your work.” 
“I don’t need to, Y/N, I can stay here.” He was firm as he stood behind you, measly hand against your shoulder and his usually intimidating, towering figure reassuring.
It was odd.
“You shouldn’t. Just go back, Taehyung.” You attempted to voice with more strength, trying to blink tears away and it didn’t convince Taehyung in the slightest.
“I don’t want to. Look at me first.” His voice sounded calm, and it was really like honey. Thick yet sweet, so deep and yet it’s cadence harboured the ability to put anyone at ease.
You shut your eyes tightly, wiping at them hastily to rid any tears as you sniffled and turned around. You were met by his face that slightly softened at the sight of you, eyes seeming to melt as they swirled with consideration, different from his usually unreadable expression. 
“See, I’m fine. You can go back to work.” You plastered a smile on, trying to stand a little more confidently, though Taehyung didn’t budge. 
He only remained, gazing at the features of your face as he seemed to drape his own with a small sense of sadness, like he was upset, maybe even hurt? It was slight, though identifiable. It left you quite speechless, thinking it was all just part of your imagination.
It couldn’t be real.  
But it exactly was as Taehyung’s large hand came up to gently touch the cheek your mother slapped. You didn’t realize it hurt more than it should’ve when you felt a sharp sting at his touch, wincing.
You registered there was probably a visible mark and grew too vulnerable, downright embarrassed for your liking and so you deflected him, smacking his hand away from your face as you looked off to the side. 
“I’m fine, Taehyung.” You declared, and Taehyung didn’t know how to react as his hand came off you, feeling a bit disheartened. He simply wanted to help, and he didn’t want to leave without doing so.
So he still looked at you, eyes possibly growing sympathetic though it could’ve been a figment of your imagination again.
“You didn’t deserve that.” He voiced soft in sound, though resolute in nature.
Taehyung was having trouble choosing what he could say without overstepping, invading a part of you he probably shouldn’t. 
“I didn’t ask for a pity party, Taehyung. Go back to work.” You said with a more snippy tone than you planned, though found it befitting of your current emotions nonetheless. 
“I’m not pitying. I’m..” Taehyung struggled for a word until you answered. 
“What, caring?” You scoffed, “Please, Taehyung, you don’t have to care like my real husband, it’s only on paper-”
“But I am your real husband.” Taehyung emphasized, his serious eyes meeting yours. “It’s on paper and in real life, so I think I’m allowed to care.” Taehyung retorted with narrowed eyes finding he liked that sentence, liked what it had to convey because it was damn true. 
Taehyung decided on reaching for your arms to drive his point home, though watched as you again, naturally retracted from him. You still seemed to refuse him, didn’t see him in a good enough light to not cower away. 
And he still fucking hated it. 
Taehyung went for it anyway and gripped your arms when you began to draw away, catching you. The action nearly demanded you look into his eyes, and found yourself doing exactly so. 
“Y/N, first, don’t be scared of me, please?” His eyes grew soft. “I seriously-I really hate it. I would never..” Taehyung trailed as his vision fell to the side of your face, eyes seeming to reflect concern.
You were completely surprised, watching him unmask a plethora of emotion you didn't think he’d so candidly reveal.
Taehyung brought his hand to brush your slightly swollen cheek, continuing. “I would never do this, do anything to scare you. I just wouldn’t.” Taehyung was emphatic and genuine, gently touching the fresh wound on the apple of your cheek.
“I.. know that, Taehyung.” You again felt that same urge to touch his hand that touched you, but you decided against it. “Though I don’t need your pity. This doesn’t hurt, don’t break a sweat about it, please.” You were trying to turn away from his hold but Taehyung didn’t let go, maintaining you in his hands.
“It’s not pity, Y/N. It’s sympathy. This bothers me, okay?”
“I don’t need it. I’ve got myself-” 
“But you’re not alone.” Taehyung suddenly stated seriously, tone permeating the air and you just about froze. You only looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, trying to decipher what he was trying to say.
“You’re not.. alone, okay? You have me.” He spoke as though he was trying to convey a meaningful message, trying to mark his own words. “In whatever way... you have me.” It was a hesitant claim, but it felt just like when he’d made his promise to you at the altar. 
And suddenly you found yourself giving in, sighing as you registered this was all pretty much an elaborate reflection of the lesson you learned not so long ago.  You and Taehyung are married now, and no matter how that status manifested itself, you had to accept what came with it.
Especially if it meant him.
“Okay.” You replied simply, multiple emotions masked by the plain word. 
Taehyung looked at you a little surprised you’d actually accepted that, but broke into a genuine grin you hadn’t really seen before. 
And you really did like the way he smiled.
He made you want to smile too, though as your facial muscles worked for the grin your cheek stung, wincing as a result. Taehyung exclaimed within a matter of seconds. “Ah, don’t move.” He cautioned, smiling a little when you chuckled at his overreaction. “Don’t worry, Taehyung. It’s alright.” 
“Alright, my foot.” Taehyung joked, bending down to inspect your wound closer than you expected, and you hid the feeling that shot through you because of his proximity with a nervous laugh, causing you to wince again. 
“Hey, what did I say?” Taehyung chastised you lightly, lips in a straight line as he shook his head disapprovingly. “C’mon, let’s treat this.” 
You immediately whined, feeling too lazy to get something so small and insignificant treated. “Taehyung, it’s not even that bad, why?” You pouted. 
“Cause it’ll leave a mark on your pretty face.” Taehyung smiled innocently, not even caring about the effect it left on you as he found your hand and tugged you along to the second floor. Your eyes only remained widened, never letting up the surprise that took you. 
Did he just call you pretty? 
You let Taehyung lead you to your master bathroom, where he situated you by the counter and shuffled around for his first-aid kit. He finally retrieved the box, dabbing some alcohol onto a cotton swab and bringing it to your face. 
Taehyung just about performed the action until he began struggling bending to your height, wanting to carefully apply the alcohol. So he tried different angles and maneuvered himself around, all coming up useless. “God, why do you have to be so small?” Taehyung huffed under his breath as he stood to his full height, contemplating how he’d accomplish this. 
“I’m not small, you’re just really-” You were about to complete your sentence until Taehyung’s hands suddenly grabbed your waist, lifting you in a single breath and propping you up onto the bathroom counter. You would’ve exclaimed, maybe protest though believed it would’ve made the heat in your face so much more apparent.
“That’s better.” He grinned, biting back a chuckle at your flushed face and widened eyes.  
Those fucking eyes. 
Taehyung then found it easier to apply what he needed, cleaning up the wound precariously before dabbing on some ointment to avoid any scarring, only missing a bandage to place on your cheek. Taehyung searched for one in his kit and drawers, though came up empty-handed. He became puzzled as to where he put his bandages, placing his hands in his pockets to think until he felt the familiar scratch of a wrapper.
He furrowed his eyebrows at first until he figured exactly what it was. 
And he suppressed a stupid grin. 
Taehyung pulled out the wrapper and watched as you avoided eye contact with him, cheeks still clearly warm as you swung your legs on the counter in anticipation of him.
Cute, he thought.
He ripped the wrapper, chucking the garbage aside as he drew close to your face. His breath suddenly fanned you, mere inches from your face with his lips so proximal you were stupidly remembering your kiss from a couple days ago.
He was just so close. So close that you could actually discern he had this pretty little mole on his cheek, even one just underneath his eye, lining his lash line. You smiled realizing he had such unique details, even seeing he had a mono-lid and a double eyelid. Then came his obvious features, his plushy, pink lips, his chocolate eyes, his soft hair and sculpted face structure. It made you want to hide your own face out of near insecurity.
He was just so beautiful.
You watched him as he focused on you, trying to calm down your oddly racing heart, feeling the sensation of his closeness shoot through your body. He smoothed the bandage over your cheek and drew away far too earlier than you wanted.
“There. Apply something before putting a bandage on, right?” He cocked an eyebrow and looked at you knowingly, crossing his arms. 
You immediately smiled at the sentiment, realizing it’s the same line you said to him during your first exchange, and you felt your heart just slightly, slightly flutter at the thought he remembered.
“Right.”
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It had been a week since that incident.
Taehyung and yourself had assumed your regular lives, having to drudge back to work after a few days off.
Your mother’s words still lingered around in your head, spoiling your mood here and there though assuming the ever-so healthy manner of simply pushing the mentally detrimental thoughts away, distracting yourself with work. 
You wish you could detail anymore interactions with Taehyung, though they were scarce with how rarely you saw each other. You both either just missed each other, were too busy to pay attention or simply came home too late. Even sleeping together was hit or miss, usually either of you crawling into bed earlier than the other with no real exchanges.
You could say it made you feel just a little sad, though not entirely considering you two were genuinely busy people, Taehyung an even busier person.
That all came to a full stop though one Friday morning, you were seated by the island and staring at your most recent design for a building, iPad pen twirling in hand. You were sipping on coffee when Taehyung pulled out a chair and suddenly startled you, coffee almost spilling.
“Jheez,” you huffed, “you scared me.” 
“Sorry, you were just really focused.” Taehyung apologized as he placed his own iPad down, reading away.
It’d been like this the whole week, you either designing and leading projects at your own job with Taehyung the ever-busy CEO at his own company, causing you both to often sit in each other’s presence though never take your eyes off your screens.
“Hey, I wanted to tell you something.” Taehyung suddenly perked up, stopping his scrolling. 
“Hm?” You looked up. 
“I should’ve told you this sooner, but we have to attend a gala tonight.” Taehyung grimaced at how sudden this seemed, arms crossed as he leaned on the counter.
Did the action really have to make his biceps pop?
Anyway, you were nearly spitting out your drink for the umpteenth time because of Taehyung, eyes blown out at his abrupt news. 
“Wh-what did you just say? Tonight?”
“Yeah, one of friends’ companies. 25th anniversary since establishment.” Taehyung went to bite a piece of his toast with strawberry jam.
You noticed he liked strawberries and didn’t like bread crust, making you want to smile sometimes at the child-like charm he hid underneath his intimidating persona. “They’re holding a huge gala and he’s one of my best friends, we’ll have to attend.”
You eventually came to understanding him, trying to wrap your head around having to suddenly attend such a high-end event. 
“This event is also going to be our first public appearance together. It’s important.” Taehyung stressed, back to scrolling through his iPad. 
“That’s alright. I don’t mind going, it’s just...I don’t think I even have a dress for a gala.” You mentally sifted through your own wardrobe, coming up short once you realized you haven’t been to an extravagant event like that since you were a teenager.
“I know, I bought one for you.”
You should really stop drinking beverages around Taehyung because you can never seem to keep them in your damn mouth. “You bought one? Taehyung..” You whined. “What did I say about giving me things?” 
“Hey, what did I say about giving you things?” He scolded you lightly. “I give you things simply because I want to.”  
You pouted. “Still, you don’t even know my size, when did you even have time?”
“That doesn’t matter. It’ll fit you, don’t worry.” Taehyung sent a smile as he deflected your question and returned to his iPad, not wanting to reveal that he’d secretly referred to your other dresses in your shared closet for your correct measurements.
“But it probably wasted your time. I should’ve gone out and bought it myself.” You felt guilty, realizing it probably made him compromise his work.
“It wasn’t a waste of time.” Taehyung countered, not really liking how you considered yourself not worthy of spending time on.
“I- thank you.” You blurted out before his statement could effect you. “When does the event begin?”
“7. You should try getting off work early to get ready.” Taehyung suggested, sipping his tea as he looked at you.
“Oh God, I’m gonna have to doll myself up. I haven’t done that in ages.” You held a hand to your mouth, trying to digest the fact you’d probably have to look like a trophy wife. 
“I could get you a makeup artist and hair stylist.” Taehyung offered. 
“No, it’s okay. I think I’ll be fine. I just haven’t been to a gala in a long time.” You felt surprised about the fact yourself. “I’m gonna have to meet so many people.” 
“You will, but I’ll be there.” Taehyung assured, glancing up at you.
“Of course, but you won’t be with me the entire night. I’ll have to brush up on my rich people skills.” You blew a raspberry, knowing you had great interpersonal skills but just didn’t like acting so fake all the time. 
“I won’t leave, just stick with me the whole night.” Taehyung stated as he absentmindedly held his index finger to his lips reading an email, quite goddamn illegally if you had to say so yourself. 
“I will.” You confirmed, erasing at a line on your iPad. “Will you come home early too?”
Taehyung clicked his tongue disappointingly. “I will but just barely on time. Friday’s mean meetings for me, so I can’t leave early. I’ll get ready at work, come back inside the house to get you.”
“Okay.” You’re not sure why you felt suddenly sad he wouldn’t be home earlier. Maybe it was just the usual feeling of not wanting to be alone, because God forbid you actually started getting used to Taehyung’s presence. 
Taehyung rose from his seat and cast his iPad to the side, sliding on his suit jacket as he glanced at his watch, checking the time. You noticed yourself and flashed your vision to your iPad, gawking at the time and realizing you could be late. 
“Oh shit, I have to go.” 
“Me too, I’ll see you tonight, okay?” Taehyung confirmed as he made his way to the front door, fixing his sleeve. You propped off your own seat and began walking towards the stairs, just about ascending until Taehyung suddenly called your name. 
“Y/N!” He peeked out from the front door, seconds from leaving. 
“Yes?” 
“I hope you like the colour, it’s one of my favourites.” Taehyung smiled sweetly, sending his last farewell before he dashed out of the house. 
Your eyebrows shot up and practically gawked, immediately running up the stairs thinking of where to find this dress. He had to have hidden it from you considering he’s been doing so ever since he mysteriously bought it. 
You instinctively rushed into your shared bedroom to grab a scrunchy for the day, all distracted until you caught sight of a white box adorned with a black bow sitting atop your bed. 
Your eyes went wide just reading the infamous label. 
Chanel. 
You had to physically keep from flooring yourself, in disbelief he’d purchased you a Chanel dress. You were even more fearful to uncover it, the information of him buying it himself raking your brain. 
It was even his favourite colour, nearly swooning at the fact he chose for you to wear his favourite colour. So you made your way over to the box hesitantly, untying the ribbon and casting the lid aside cautiously, only to audibly gasp. 
Your eyes fell to a ruby red dress with a delicate V neckline, completely blown away he chose such a bold colour for you to wear. 
You carefully grabbed the dress to take it out of its box, revealing more to discover it was a floor-length gown. It produced a small train though lifted in the front to reveal the shoes you’d wear, the skirt of plain, thick fabric until you saw the torso area; light beading expanding from the stomach area eventually leading into the skirt. 
Shock wasn’t even the correct word to use, you were stunned, completely taken by his choice. The dress was simply gorgeous, beautiful in its own right and you were almost too afraid to wear it. 
Nonetheless, this event was important to Taehyung, so you took a deep breath, tucked the dress back into its box and mentally prepared yourself for the day ahead. 
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It was bordering 6:30 now. 
You’d successfully left work early, around the 2 o’clock mark to come home and indulge in a 4 hour self-care routine. It’d seriously been too long since you last attended an event similar to this, grand in size and visited by at least a hundred people. 
It reminded you of your engagement party, though not entirely since there would paparazzi and would be your first real appearance with Taehyung ever since your wedding. 
And quite frankly, you really wanted look better than you did then. You labelled it pretty much a disaster since you were a catatonic mess regretting all her life choices, probably looking unappealing in all your photos. 
Along with knowing the impact Taehyung has, not only in the business world but in general also left you wanting to up your game. You were his wife now, and that came with a high amount of scrutiny and criticism having nabbed one of the most eligible bachelor’s in Korea.
You’d already given up ever checking any articles and avoided social media, knowing that there would be inevitably nasty and judgmental comments. This night was important though, where you’d flank him as the women he’s so-called ‘in love with’ or the ‘love of his life’. 
It also dawned on you Taehyung in fact had a high-valued reputation to uphold, and so did you as his wife. 
So as you stood before the mirror in the walk-in closet, inspecting your dress, you contemplated how you’d survive this night, how you would act as the perfect, most suitable wife to Taehyung. 
You really wanted to hide your face out of how dolled up you looked; your makeup was on the elegant side, not heavy but brushed up to look soft, completed with red lipstick that matched your dress and hair set around your face in loose waves. 
The dress looked almost embarrassingly good on you, Taehyung somehow having chosen the right sized dress as it hugged your every curve right, accentuating the right parts of your body and even the V neckline not dipping too low, but showing quite the generous amount of skin. 
You couldn’t stop blushing at all. 
Taehyung had finally arrived at the house, rushing inside quickly registering he was cutting the time close. “Y/N! I’m home!” he called for you, quickly checking his appearance in a mirror as he smoothed pieces of his parted hair, curling just before his eyes and revealing some forehead.
“I’m in our room!” 
He approved his own look in the mirror and jogged up the stairs, mentally preparing himself before he’d have to see you in the dress he chose, almost excited about it. 
He’d simply loved it at first sight, and couldn’t stop pondering what the striking colour would look like on you. So as Taehyung entered your bedroom, he became confused finding it empty. He then ventured further inside, catching sight of the ajar closet door and light beaming through. 
He sauntered over carefully, peeking inside and Taehyung’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor, almost stupidly. 
His eyes fell to you standing in front of the mirror, fidgeting as you looked at yourself in the dress with the back of it undone. 
And Taehyung had never seen anything more pretty in his life. 
He was speechless for the umpteenth time because of you, not even knowing how to begin a sentence because he might sound like a second grader if he did. So all Taehyung could muster up the literacy to say was “Wow.” 
You turned around instantly, eyes looking as though you were a deer caught in headlights. Taehyung’s eyes widened even more peering at the elegant front, jaw almost slack as he scanned over your body.
“T-Taehyung.” You couldn’t think of anything else to say. 
Taehyung still seemed to be struggling a little, eyes glued to you until he cleared his throat and looked away. “Um, yeah?” 
“S-sorry, but.. could you actually..?” And you did it again, angling your back towards Taehyung to call to the zipper of your dress. You really couldn’t try zipping it yourself, which left it sitting comfortably just at your lower back, your skin exposed to Taehyung. 
You could visibly see Taehyung flash his eyes to your skin until he looked elsewhere, nodding as he licked his lips. “Sure.” 
You watched him near you, his face blank as he took a handful of your hair and softly placed in front of you. He then brought his hand against your side to hold you in place, his other working for the zipper. It was another case of his rather hot breath fanning your back, almost teasingly zipping up your dress by simple inches. 
He was close again, closer than he’s been in a week and you sincerely hated it always affected you in some way. It made your chest flutter, suck in a breath you didn’t even need to hold in. You relaxed when Taehyung finally finished, his hands gripping your arms from behind as he looked at you through the mirror.
And for some odd reason, he liked how your heights contrasted each other. 
He had the slightest hint of a smile, eyes seeming to gleam with something you couldn’t quite decipher. 
“You look pretty.” He said, gazing at you through the reflection and you had to physically stop from beaming like an idiot. Your chest fills with butterflies, face collecting with heat at his compliment. 
How could an Adonis like him call you pretty?
You bit your lip, gazing up at his taller, impeccably dressed reflection as you admired him, his every feature crafted to a degree of perfection that left you in awe. 
“You look really handsome.” You complimented, watching his lips just about curve into a smile that met his eyes, and you wish he didn’t have to look so handsome when he smiled too. 
“Thank you.” He voiced before turning you around by your arms to face him. “Make sure you wear a coat tonight, it’s cold.” He informed, you nodding until your quick eyes spotted his tie loosened by just a centimeter, throwing you off. 
“Oh, your tie.” You exclaimed quietly, reaching for it without a thought and pushing it upwards, angling it to perfection. Taehyung suddenly froze, unexpecting of you doing such a thing and so proximal his nose flooded with your perfume, liking the scent. 
Peonies. 
He tensed with an unknown feeling until your gazes locked on each other, simply looking to look while your hands remained on his tie. He realized more than a second passed and Taehyung scrambled for something to say, sputtering.
“I’ll uh.. I’ll be waiting out front.” He assured as he stepped away, exiting the room quickly and leaving you to your lonesome. 
This was gonna be one hell of a night, you thought.
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“Remember, there’s going to be a lot of cameras and people here. We’ll really need to act like a couple.” Taehyung sat beside you in the back of an Escalade, manspreading in all his glory and you were sincerely glad he couldn’t read your mind.
“Got it, let’s give em’ a show.” You cheered with your little fists, determined as the car arrived at the lavish venue. 
“Yeah, let’s do it.” Taehyung mimicked your action. “Don’t worry about getting nervous, I’m there.” He assured for good measure, gauging your affirmation.  
You nodded as you took a deep breath, smoothing over your dress and fixing your hair. Taehyung unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned into you, speaking near your ear. “I’ll get out first and open the door for you, wait here.” You tensed at the action before nodding again, Taehyung making his way out the car. 
He then opened your door as promised within seconds, greeting you with a warm smile as he held out his hand for you. You grinned back at him affectionately as you took it, adjusting your dress to step onto the concrete. 
You were met by dozens of camera flashes and a yelling crowd, shouting various things you couldn’t quite make out. You were almost distracted by it and felt a small sense of anxiety creep up you, until Taehyung pulled you flush against his side, hand curving around your waist.
You smiled up at him in accordance, and he beamed back as he walked you two down the carpet leading into the venue, casually ignoring all the noise and people. 
Taehyung guided you inside safely to where you were welcomed by a beautiful looking hall, pristine and extremely elegant. It was surely fitting for a grand gala. Your eyes caught a small crowd of photographers in the foyer snapping photos at a certain wall with a backdrop, curiosity dawning on you as Taehyung led you towards the coat check. 
“What’s happening there?” You pointed towards the scene. 
“Oh, exclusive press.” He snuck a look, stripping off his coat. “They’re the ones I was talking about, they’re gonna take pictures of us.” Taehyung answered distracted as he retrieved your coat and gave both to the coat checker, smiling a thank you. 
You didn’t even have time to really respond as Taehyung dragged you to the very scene, the pair of you next to have photos taken. You tried to process the whole thing as he walked you over, mentally preparing to look your best until Taehyung suddenly whispered lowly in your ear again. 
And again, it sent shivers down your spine. 
“Just smile and hold me, okay?” Your chest fluttered for an odd reason, nodding back to him as he brought you in front of the line of photographers. 
You stayed true to your promise and tucked an arm around his torso as the other draped his chest, closest to him as you could. Taehyung almost settled next to you until he felt something at his feet, noticing he was nearly stepping on your gown. 
He broke away from you, unexpectedly bending down to catch the skirt of your dress and delicately fix it behind you. You heard the hushed exclamations of the photographers, most of them doting on his considerate act as you just about protested, though suddenly remembered Taehyung’s words from today. 
It was probably better to stay silent. 
So you simply smiled as you watched Taehyung adjust your dress, feeling a warm sensation spread across your chest when he returned even though it most likely was for show, his hands coming back on you. 
This time you didn’t try to suppress anything, allowing some of your feelings to manifest into a real smile, remembering you were to appear as a couple anyway. 
And whether or not there was some truth to your expressions, was anyone really keeping track?
You two began posing for the photographers, smiling in all directions and clutching onto each other closely. You occasionally tried different angles to look better, everything going smoothly until you heard someone shout out, eyes widening as a result.
“Kiss her!” 
It wasn’t long before the other photographers began agreeing, encouraging Taehyung to kiss you and you had no clue how he would react. You were slightly biting your lip as you were occupied avoiding eye contact, that was until Taehyung quietly called you.
“Y/N, look at me.” 
“Hm?” You instinctively responded and looked up at him, completely taken by surprise when Taehyung suddenly planted a soft kiss to your forehead. Your eyes visibly went wider, only his chest to stare at until he eventually disconnected.
He returned his eyes to you and grinned at your wide-eyed reaction, suddenly reminding you. “Smile,” he encouraged with the flash of his own boxy grin, wanting to see you smile. 
And it damn well worked. 
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Taehyung was right about the size of this gala. 
Huge. 
It was grand, the entire hall seeming to be spat right out of a castle with about a hundred fancy-looking people inside. You thought it would’ve been uninteresting and difficult to communicate with others tonight and put on your best fake smile, though the night’s atmosphere amassed with champagne, good food and great conversationalists left you in a better mood than you expected. 
It was actually quite fun, finding yourself genuinely conversing with the people Taehyung dragged you to meet, keeping to your promise of staying right by his side the whole night, and he kept his, never having left you. 
You’d met various people, having gotten familiar to Taehyung’s high-status world of business and relations. Long story short, Taehyung knew a lot of people, and you were surprised at how extroverted he suddenly seemed.  
He was practically a social butterfly, not having forgotten a single name of who he spoke to along with somehow remembering personal details about their lives. It left you impressed, joining along with his light-hearted conversation with your own extrovert tendencies. 
Everyone you’d met had been nice so far, but by far the most amusing people you’d met had to have been Taehyung’s 5 best friends, the same ones you’d seen in his photographs. 
“Y/N, this is Kim Namjoon and Seokjin, they’re brothers.” 
Both tall and quite frankly broad men greeted you warmly, one of them having a nice dimply smile while the other was far too handsome to be looked at for free. 
“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” They said after another, reaching out to shake your hand. “We’re co-CEOs of one of Korea’s largest private airline.” Namjoon of the two informed.   
“Likewise. And wow, that’s impressive.” You complimented. “Might I also say, you’re both.. tall.” You had to almost crane your neck to meet their eyes, thankful for the heels you were wearing as the group laughed at your remark. 
“Perhaps, though you’re quite short yourself, Y/N.” Seokijn commented light-heartedly, causing you to playfully pout and retort him. “Oh c’mon, I hear that from Taehyung already, not you too.” You giggled, absentmindedly leaning into Taehyung as he tensed, your body pressing into his. 
“It’s cause Taehyung likes short girls, teasing means he likes you.”  A built looking man with longer hair suddenly joked, nudging Taehyung with his elbow.
“Shut up, Jungkook. I was gonna give you a proper introduction, not anymore.” Taehyung scolded, though Jungkook persisted. 
“Well, you just said my name, that’s already half the intro.” Jungkook then gently took your hand, placing a chaste kiss against the back of it you didn’t expect at all. 
“Nice to meet you, Y/N. Jeon Jungkook, CEO of Korea’s largest game development company.” Jungkook sent you a kind smile and it was hard to not compare him to a bunny, his teeth reminding you of one. 
“Yah, don’t do that” Taehyung swatted Jungkook’s hand away, protesting disapprovingly. 
“Woah, did Taehyung just get jealous?” Namjoon inquired shocked.
“Somebody get their phone out, we’ll need evidence I didn’t hit him first.” Jungkook held up his hands in mock surrender. 
“Jungkook, the only thing we’re finding in our phones is videos of you nibbling on carrots.” Taehyung quipped and it made the group chortle, yourself speaking up at the mention of a rabbit. 
“Actually, I was thinking you resemble a bunny.” You simply wanted to voice an observation, though it sent the whole group into a frenzy. 
“See Jungkook! Other people notice it too!” A man you hadn’t been introduced to yet suddenly burst out, though you could automatically tell he gave off this radiant energy that was infectious. 
He almost felt like the sun. 
“Whatever, Hoseok, you’re like a squirrel.” Jungkook countered and you digested the man’s name for information. 
“And you’re a rabbit, you better buy me what we wagered.” Hoseok scolded from what you could assume, was the younger of the two. 
“Wagered? I don’t remember anything about that.” Jungkook feigned innocence as he looked off to the side.
“Jungkook, we were all there that day, you owe Hoseok a vending machine.” Namjoon spoke up, laughing through the remark. 
“Guys. Y/N is literally right here, we didn’t even introduce ourselves properly.” A man with a fairly sweet voice interjected. He had such soft visuals, almost similar to an angel if you wanted to be honest. 
He then looked to you with a sweet smile, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Park Jimin, CEO of Park Hotels & Resorts”
“This is his event.” Taehyung informed.
“Ohh, nice to meet you!” You perked up, his aura making you feel all comfortable and giggly, there was just something about his bubbly energy. 
The man named Hoseok then extended his hand, “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Jung Hoseok. Sorry for the late introduction, but I basically own a bunch of famous clubs across Korea.” He laughed all dimply and warm, and he really did remind you of the sun. 
“Oh wow, hopefully we’ll get to visit sometime! Clubs are so fun.” You lit up, all excited about a good club scene until Taehyung ruined your fun. 
“Nuh uh, not after your little drunk scene at our engagement party.” Taehyung looked down at you and chastised. 
“Taehyung, it wasn’t even that much. Don’t be dramatic.” You scolded him back. 
“Alright Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, I almost had to carry you.” 
“I was walking just fine last time I remembered.” You crossed your arms and feigned innocence, Taehyung growing scandalized. 
“Oh really, now?” He cocked an eyebrow, just about to continue until Namjoon interjected. “Looks like married life’s been treating you guys well.” 
“Of course, they look practically in love.” Hoseok beamed sarcastically, gesturing towards you both.
“C’mon, Taehyung, tell us what you love about her. Let’s see the simping.” Jungkook playfully taunted Taehyung, egging him on.  
“Shut up. You all already know our marriage isn’t real.” Taehyung rebutted the younger man, eyes narrowed. 
You were taken aback, eyes flashing to Taehyung. “They know?” 
“Of course they do, your best friend knows too, doesn’t she?” Taehyung was referring to Hana, and you acquiesced realizing he had a point. 
“You know, you guys say it’s a fake marriage but you look pretty close to me.” Jimin pointed towards Taehyung’s arm still hugging around your waist, causing you both to realize and promptly disconnect. 
“No, we aren’t.” You and Taehyung retorted at the same time, vision snapping to each other with shocked eyes. 
“Oh c’mon, Tae, you’re really gonna say about your wife?” Seokjin teased him, playful lilt to his tone. 
“Yeah, Taehyung, just look at her, how aren’t you whipped already?” Jungkook remarked as he gestured towards you, feeling shy as your feet shuffled. 
“I’m not answering that.” Taehyung bit back with an irritated tone, folding his arms as he broke eye contact with the group. 
You decided to lighten the mood. “Guys, please, the only thing Taehyung’s whipped for is his company.” You joked, and despite the small sense of hurt saying that sentence, you felt joy making the men suddenly laugh so loudly. 
Taehyung’s shy and embarrassed expression was even more priceless. 
“Oh my God, Y/N, you’re seriously the perfect match for him.” Hoseok added on as he laughed and you couldn’t help but bite back a smile, not knowing what he meant by that though taking it as a compliment.
“Alright guys, remember we had a mission: operation make-Taehyung-and-Y/N’s-marriage-seem-real-as-fuck.” Jungkook suddenly put on the theatrics and halted the group, changing the conversation. 
“Oh yeah, we had a whole plan, didn’t we?” Jimin remembered. 
“Yup. Gotta prepare them for nosey press and annoying relatives. We should start with questions they’d get asked. Make it like a fake interview or something.” Namjoon suggested, leading along the others as he pretended to hold a microphone. 
“You’re all some of the richest men in Seoul yet you’re acting like children. I don’t know you people.” Taehyung tried waving the men off while you couldn’t help but laugh, finding them the most fun people you’ve encountered. 
Childish or not, they were completely unexpected of what you thought a group of CEOs. They didn’t live up to the cliché uptight and uber sophisticated stereotype, rather open and acted however they chose. 
It was refreshing. 
“It’s cause we’re friends with you, Taehyung.” Hoseok shot back and it made everyone snicker. 
“I got it. Let’s ask them to spill some details about each other only they’d know. Someone’s bound to ask that.” Seokjin reasoned, gauging agreeance from the others. 
“Oh my God, you guys already know our marriage is fake. Why would you make this up?” You asked through a giggle, still finding the situation comical. 
“Sorry Mrs. Kim, but that’s precisely why, and I’m afraid we don’t know what you mean by ‘fake’. Now tell the good press something about Mr. Kim we don’t know.” Jungkook began the skit as he held his fake microphone towards you, the others joining in as though imitating paparazzi. 
“Alright, this is gonna be exclusive, pens ready?” You decided to join them, and they all nodded in confirmation as Taehyung flashed his eyes to you, unprepared for you to play along. 
“Mr. Kim is quite something.” You addressed him formally for effect. “He acts all mysterious and cool, but he’s actually just a cuddler who likes tea and cuts the crusts off his bread.” You relayed with a wide grin, all of them suddenly exclaiming and reacting like a high schooler has just confessed the name of their crush. 
“Oh my God, Tae, seriously? Bread crusts? What are you, like, 3?” Seokjin teased. 
“Hyung, your ears literally turn red when people give you attention. Are you 3?” Taehyung retorted and it only elicited more noise from the group, Seokjin exclaiming defensively and Taehyung bringing a hand up to his forehead, sighing. 
“Guys! Okay, let’s get some real answers here. We gotta know what Y/N would say if someone asked her.. maybe some things she likes about Taehyung. Let’s hear it.” Jimin got everyone back on track, attention on you. 
You smiled nervously and flashed a look towards Taehyung, who still had this arms folded and vision looking off to the side, ignoring the entire situation before him. 
You could tell he was pissed with the way his jaw locked, though the fact that he wasn’t paying attention made you a little more confident. 
Taehyung wasn’t exactly pissed, though if he could bonk all his friends on the head a few times he would. He knew teasing and jokes were all common within the group, he just didn’t expect to be the sole target tonight, and so he decided to smoothly neglect the conversation altogether. 
He was succeeding, not expecting you to answer their question seriously until Taehyung suddenly heard you speak up, surprised eyes flickering to you. 
“Hmm, if I had to say..” You were hesitant, Taehyung shocked you were even answering. 
What would you say? 
“He has nice, big hands.” You admitted softly, Taehyung’s brows raising with surprise. “He has a nice voice, too, and... his smile.” You added as you nodded to yourself, confirming your own list and Taehyung was left damn near speechless once again. 
He didn’t really know how to act, acknowledging his face as the most common thing people liked about him, rarely ever hearing those aspects of himself mentioned. 
And he oddly felt.. nice.
“Awh, now that’s cute, good job, Y/N.” Jungkook praised you, Hoseok then pointing his make-believe mic in Taehyung’s direction. 
“Your turn, Chairman Kim, what do you like most about your wife?” He mimicked an interviewer and everyone followed in accordance, mics shifting towards him. 
“Uhh..” Taehyung became slightly nervous under everyone’s scrutiny, not knowing if he should assume his usual unreadable nature or answer their request truthfully. 
“Tae, dude, if you don’t say anything then I will.” Jungkook declared, just about ready to speak again until you cut him off, snorting. 
“Don’t sweat it, guys. He won’t say anything.” You really knew Taehyung would have nothing to say, so you crossed your arms and became uninterested in the conversation.
Until Taehyung spoke. 
“She does this pouting thing.. with her lips. It’s cute.” Taehyung started, coming up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly and peer at anything but a pair of eyes. “Her height.. and her eyes. She has nice eyes.” 
The floor had to be tired of you by now, because Taehyung seemed to make you want to fall hard pretty often. You didn’t know what to do, eyes blown and nearly on the verge of choking, unable to believe a Godly being like Taehyung just admitted to liking something about you. 
Is this what it feels like to win at life?
His words kept ringing in your head, melting into a shy mess with your cheeks beyond hot, avoiding eye contact with everyone while Taehyung grew slightly embarrassed, similarly looking off to the side. 
“Holy shit, you guys are actually cute.” Jimin remarked through a chuckle as he  pointed at you both, you and Taehyung mirroring the same look of horror while protesting at the same time. “No we aren’t!” 
And it only made the men crack up even harder. 
It was laugh after laugh as that conversation went on, finding a quick and pleasant liking to Taehyung’s friends. They’d made it clear as day they liked you as well, to be precise they seemed to love you, making playful nudges at Taehyung for saying yes to someone just right for him; and you seriously pondered what that exactly meant. 
It was further into the night now, the gala having picked up in activity and passed the long social hour, now leading into more of a party scene as upbeat music filled the hall. 
You’d stuck with Taehyung the whole night as promised, having met more of the people he knew. The evening had been quite calm, both you and Taehyung having silently, though mutually ignored the conversation from before for sanity purposes, only focusing on the additional people you met. 
Taehyung and yourself had been talking up a storm with Jimin for the past half an hour, Taehyung introducing him as his best friend and getting the full run down of how that came about. It was highly entertaining, listening to mentions of alcohol, 4AM fighting and even an incident with dumplings. 
It had you three laughing merrily while music played, Taehyung’s arm draped around you like it had been for majority of the night, practically hugging you to him. He was elaborating on a story that had something to do with a dream-catcher, all smiles and giggles. 
That was until Taehyung suddenly froze next to you, sight seeming to set on a person behind Jimin and he immediately changed his aura. 
“Jimin, what the fuck? Did you invite him?” Taehyung cocked his head in the general direction, eyes set hard. 
Jimin’s eyebrows shot up and and casually looked behind him, registering the culprit himself and turning back to Taehyung. “Holy shit, no, I didn’t.” 
“Then why is he here?” 
“Fuck, I don’t know, Tae. My parents probably invited him, I’m sorry.” Jimin apologized as he rubbed the back of his neck, growing apprehensive.
“Don’t worry, Jimin. It’s just.. not him, not fucking him.” Taehyung’s voice grew a little darker, almost hateful as his hand gripped around you tighter.  
“Taehyung, what’s wrong?” You asked tentatively, though didn’t exactly get a response since Taehyung became distracted, talking more so to himself. 
“Why the fuck is he here of all people? Of all damn people..” Taehyung scoffed to himself humorlessly, clearly annoyed. 
“Taehyung, who?” 
“Nobody, we’re getting a drink. Jimin, please?” Taehyung and Jimin had a conversation with their eyes, Jimin immediately nodding and moving towards a certain man you barely caught sight off before Taehyung was pulling you away. You tried protesting, but the tightened grip around you and Taehyung’s frustrated expression was enough to shut you up. 
Something was seriously wrong. 
You followed him along quietly until you heard a bit of a commotion behind you, able to distinguish Jimin’s voice protesting. You almost looked back until a stranger suddenly snuck up on Taehyung, draping an arm over him. 
“Kim Taehyung! Where you going? Damn, it’s been long.” The man spoke as he lowered his hand to Taehyung’s back, nearly smacking it as though they were old time buddies. 
Though the expression that painted Taehyung’s face said completely otherwise; he looked extremely irritated, and not the playful type. 
“Hisung, yeah, it has.” Taehyung bleakly acknowledged him, said man with an arm still draped over Taehyung’s shoulders until he shrugged him off harshly, pulling you closer to him protectively.
It made the man direct his attention to you. “Oh, this is your wife, right? Nice to meet you, Han Hisung.” The man smiled and extended his hand, not knowing if you should extend yours until Taehyung blatantly cut the man off, physically blocking his hand. 
“Skip the pleasantries, Hisung, what do you want?” You were shocked to see this emotion on Taehyung; rarely having seen him frustrated, trying to manage his annoyance as he gave Hisung a dead stare, intimidating as ever. 
Though Hisung didn’t cower like everyone else did, seeming to rather thrive.
“I don’t want anything. I can’t just meet your wife?” He coated his tone condescendingly, gesturing towards you. 
“No, you can’t. We’re getting a drink.” Taehyung seriously seemed bothered as he began walking you away with him, the harder squeeze of his hand around you indicating he was either growing more irritated, didn’t want to let you go, or a mix of both. 
“Oh, c’mon.” Hisung pulled Taehyung back by the shoulder but Taehyung becomes irritated, shoving his arm away harshly. 
“Not now, Hisung. Not at Jimin’s event.” Taehyung warned him as though he was crossing a fine line, and you grew afraid of what would occur if that were compromised.  
“What, I’m not doing anything.” Hisung held out his arms, feigning innocence. “I gotta say though, if I wanted one thing it’d be to say your wife’s hot as fuck.” He cocked an eyebrow and began eyeing you in your dress, growing uncomfortable and sending him a dirty look, though you naturally leaned closer towards Taehyung and he took notice. 
“Say that again I’ll make you regret it, Hisung.” Taehyung’s jaw was locked, a protective feeling overwhelming him. 
“You’re seriously gonna introduce her to everyone but me?” Hisung looked offended. “She should know who I am, especially to you.” He tried making a point, eluding to something between them. 
“Nah, I don’t think so.” Taehyung flat out rejected him, his expression blunt as he seemed to radiate unbothered energy. 
“I think you should. She should know the kind of man her husband is, and what he’s done.” He said knowingly, in a daunting way that accused Taehyung of something that seemed deeper than it looked.  
“There’s nothing to know, and I never did anything.” Taehyung simply denied, as though he’s said this multiple times.
“Really? You don’t wanna tell her about how you sabotage people? Use your money to buy success?” 
Taehyung had to pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing out frustrated. “For fuck’s sake, how many times do I have to tell you? I’ve never done shit like that. Leave.” Taehyung finalized, attempting to control his anger.
You were trying to remain calm and look on objectively, though felt a sense of worry for where this was going, only Taehyung’s seemingly instinctive guard on you keeping you from anxiety. 
Hisung scoffed, “You know, your wife should know how much of a fucking liar you are.” He spat, his vision suddenly growing narrowed as he eyed you both suspiciously. “Come to think of it, wife kinda sounds like a stretch.” 
This time it wasn’t even Taehyung responding, you beating him to the punch. “Excuse me? The fuck does that mean?” 
“Oh, so she talks.” 
You were just about stepping forward to give this asshole a piece of your mind until Taehyung suddenly gripped onto your arms from behind, pulling you to him protectively.
“Hisung, what the fuck do you want?” Taehyung’s tone was leveled with a sense of controlled rage, clear effort to contain himself and you were completely understanding of that. 
“Not much. I just find your marriage suspicious, and if I do then others do too. Wouldn’t want to taint the precious Kim reputation with that, now would we?” The remark was sly, causing Taehyung’s hold around you to tense.  
“What the fuck are you implying, exactly? Try making some sense.” 
“Your marriage isn’t convincing, jackass. There’s no way you two are really married, don’t think I don’t know there’s something behind it.” He stared squarely back at Taehyung, determined. “And when I get my hands on that information, don't think you're the only one who can sabotage someone.” Hisung was resolute as he declared his threat, only making Taehyung more resentful, more rash. 
“Your opinion doesn’t matter to me, jackass. Nothing you do does” Taehyung was confident in the argument and it oddly made you proud, now understanding why he was so successful and well-acclaimed. It’s like he truly didn't care what others thought and only lived for the purpose of what he found important to him, contributing to his confidence and composed approach towards life. He carried himself with an affirmed sense of self-worth that never bordered egotistical, and you were lying if you said it wasn’t hot sometimes. 
Because scratch that, it was incredibly hot. 
Hisung laughed humourlessly, hissing. “I don’t think we can say the same about Mrs. Kim, though, her opinion should matter to you, right?” He then suddenly turned his vision to you and drew closer, speaking in a superficially saccharine tone. “Jagiya, you should really look into who your husband is. He’s not half the man he says he is.” Hisung suddenly came too close and Taehyung immediately tugged you behind him, shielding your smaller frame as his tone dangerously darkened. 
“Don’t call her that, and never fucking come near her.” Taehyung was seething now, clutching one of your hands so tightly you became worried of his heightened emotions.
“Nah, I don’t think so.” Hisung mimicked him. “She should know I’d treat her better than her asshole of a husband, make sure she’s nice and satisfied with how much of a man I am compared to you.” Hisung remarked without a single care, and you nearly felt the blooding searing in Taehyung’s veins. 
But you could tell that was exactly Hisung’s goal; to rile Taehyung up and it unfortunately worked. No longer was the calm, cool and collected Taehyung you knew, instead feeling him suddenly rush towards Hisung with a fist until you gripped onto his jacket from behind, calling his name. 
“Tae.” Your voice was soft, immediately stopping him as you clutched urgently. Taehyung could hear the frailty of your worried voice, could feel your little hold on his jacket as he came to his senses.
Taehyung grinded his teeth hard as his fist tightened for a mere second before steadily loosening, calming himself down before he made his last remark. “Go fuck yourself, Hisung.” Taehyung spat with pure disdain as he turned around and swept up your hand, leading you away from the situation as far as possible. 
He pulled you along hastily, walking with a sense of speed that almost had you tripping on your dress. You were seconds from telling him to slow down until he stopped you both in a hallway.
“Taehyung, wh-” You almost got out until Taehyung suddenly pushed you up against the nearest wall, breath hot and heavy as he huffed frustratedly, raw anger written all over him. 
Taehyung’s entire towering body was unexpectedly inches from you, his forearms laid against the marble tiling above your head as he hung his own low, almost trying to conceal his face into your shoulder. It’s like he was blocking you off from any other person, defensively caging you as his chest rose and fell shallowly with white hot anger, your face tucked into his shoulder. His heated breath was continuously tickling the exposed skin of your neck, so close your heart was beating faster than it should’ve. 
You were only left shocked, hands fallen slack by your sides and unable to move. 
“I’m sorry.” He huffed out suddenly. “Fuck, I’m so sorry I’m just.. really angry right now and I can’t calm down.” Taehyung seemed infuriated though worried, his hands clutching into fists above you as he leaned in even closer, mere centimeters between you two as he remained pressed into your personal space.
“Shit, don’t be scared I just-fuck, I hate him. He’s the only person who makes me so angry.” Taehyung breathed out frustratedly, eyes shut as he tried to control himself. “And fuck, I didn’t want him near you. I don’t want him to talk to you. I don’t want anyone to fucking come near you.” 
Taehyung’s confessions kept coming and you were simply taken aback, another show of his emotions on full display and you wondered how he always so neatly composed himself.
“Tae-”
“Just stay in front of me, please.” He begged. “Where I can see you, just stay here.” He stressed, trying his best to breathe properly but only failed. “I don’t.. think I like when other guys are around you.” He confessed out of nowhere, trying to work through the claim hesitantly at first until he eventually nodded, affirming it. 
“Yeah, I don’t like it.” He declared as he continued to lean in, his proximity allowing for you to constantly smell his intoxicating, Invictus cologne; its sexy scent paired with his perfectly tailored suit hugging the curves of his large, broad body only arousing your nerves. 
“God, fuck.” He huffed out. “No matter what, stay away from Hisung. Never talk to him. He ruins everything he touches, every fucking thing.” Taehyung was dead serious, still hiding his face from you as he spoke angrily near your ear. “He’s been trying to ruin me for years. He’s already tried with everything else and he’ll come for you. He can’t ruin our marriage, and I swear to God if he fucking does anything to you-”
“Taehyung, hey, shh.” You brought your hands up to his chest to try calming him down, able to discern Taehyung ever rarely grew angry and when he did, just needed someone to quell his troubles. “Breathe, Taehyung, breathe, okay?” You spoke with a soft tone, trying to contrast the white hot anger you could sense in him by rubbing his chest pacifyingly. 
Taehyung immediately tensed at the action, almost in shock until he ultimately tried to breathe, slow and steady. 
“There you go, that’s better.” You encouraged into his shoulder, hands resting and lightly massaging as you inquired. “Talk to me, Taehyung, what’s wrong? Who’s Hisung?” 
“Fuck, I’ll get angry again.” He warned, breath still hot and heavy as you smoothed over his dress shirt, trying to soothe him.  
“It’s okay. I’m here, Tae, you have me. Tell me anything.” You assured and attempted to mirror his own words from a week ago, worried about his open show of emotions and thinking you should be helpful, make sure you're supplying all the support he needs because he may never be this open again. 
Taehyung’s temper was still high, more of his hot breath on your shoulder as he spoke, lips still by your ear and the bass in his voice sending currents through you. 
“It goes back 3 years, rival companies.” He began. “His father was dismissed as CEO and they held a shareholders meeting to decide a new one. Long story short, he won the vote, but only by a 49-51 percent margin. He barely scrapped by, and after he was appointed CEO he found out his major shareholders voted against him. What made things worse was that right after, they pulled all their shares from his company and invested in mine, and he fucking-” Taehyung was growing frustrated again recounting the story, his body rising and falling faster until your hands snaked up to his jaw, fingers splaying across his cheeks as you held his face pacifyingly. 
“Taehyung, breathe again. You’re fine.” You felt him listen to you, breathing deeply as he became more composed again, continuing.
“He thinks I sabotaged him, that I colluded with his shareholders and used my money when I never did. I only had acquainted relationships with them at the time and never convinced them of anything. They told me they chose to invest because they saw me as the better company, the more competent CEO.” Taehyung was venting, and you let him exactly do so by attentively listening, holding him. 
“It wasn’t my fault, but he thinks it is. And now he’s made it his life’s mission to ruin mine, ruin anything he can get his hands on because he’s convinced I ruined his.” Taehyung sounded upset, clearly fed up with having to deal with such an incessant pain in the ass. 
“Just not you,” He sounded like he was pleading, a whisper. “Not fucking you, he can’t ruin us, or our marriage.”  
“He won’t, Taehyung. We won’t let him.” The pads of your thumbs smoothed over Taehyung’s skin, trying to ease him as he moved back slightly, vision meeting yours.
“Y/N, I don’t lie. I wouldn’t sabotage anybody, I don’t play dirty like that. Even if the business world is riddled with people like that, I would never do it. I’m not like that at all.” A hint of desperation leaked into his tone, eyes gentle as he so emphatically tried to convince you he was nothing like Hisung said. 
And you found your heart softening thinking about the fact that it affected him so much. That while he didn’t care what others thought of him, he somehow valued what you thought. 
“Taehyung, don’t worry, I know, okay? You’re completely fine. He just tries to rile you up because he knows you’re better, more competent.” You slid your hands back down over his neck, letting them rest over his strong chest again. It made your breaths uneven, registering how close he was to you, just inches from your face. 
“He probably knows those shareholders chose you because you’re the better CEO. He knows it, he just tries to deny the truth by looking for ways to ruin your life, so he doesn’t have to accept he’s inferior.” You offered earnestly, rhythmically smoothing him over. Taehyung’s eyes suddenly swirled with a sense of ease, his tense body now seeming to relax. “You think so?” 
“Of course, Tae. You’re nothing like that, I know you’re not.” You said determinedly, gripping his shirt lightly to drive your point forward, eyes conveying warmth. 
Though the response that met you was Taehyung gazing into your eyes boldly as he heard you address him so casually by a nickname already, his look containing something you couldn’t decipher, and it left butterflies swarming your chest. 
You didn’t realize how intoxicatingly close you both were in this position; Taehyung’s arms caging you against the wall, body pressing into you as he looked at you, not breathing hard anymore but hotly, like he was feeling something he was attempting to manage. Your hands funnily contrasted the size of his chest as he glanced at them, then up at him, clutching him a little tighter the more the tension seemed to build.  
It was obvious now, both of you were merely staring at each other, Taehyung’s Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed and your eyes followed the movement, something unknown alighting inside you at the image. It called necessary attention to his sculpted neck and you found yourself wondering if you’d ever get to lay kisses on it, possibly even mark it
You bit your lip at the thought, hating that such an idea dawned on you, igniting with something unholy the more you breathed in his sexy scent, his large body enclosing you. It sent chills down your spine, trying to contain yourself by shifting and clamping down on your lip harder.
Taehyung’s eyes flickered to the very action, his undivided attention now on your mouth. He could feel every harder squeeze of your hands on his chest as the heat rose, fisting his own hands against the wall with the need to draw himself closer to you, especially with the way you looked right now. 
Taehyung already couldn’t keep his hands off you when you resembled the hottest, and yet most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen in that dress. Either a sweet angel descended from heaven or the right kind of demon he craved. It was even more difficult knowing it’s a dress he chose, adoring the way you were wrapped up in his favourite colour, and thought red has never looked better on anyone else.
It also made him think of some things he shouldn’t speak aloud. Though Taehyung knew you, and knew you weren't ready for anything of that sort, so he remained collected and only stuck to having an arm around you tonight, mindful of boundaries. 
But when you were under his scrutiny, smaller self tucked against a wall because of him and clearly hot and bothered yourself, your exposed skin raking his brain, he couldn’t keep from nearing your lips. 
He’s once felt how soft they were before, seeing on multiple occasions how plushy they truly are and desiring to feel that same soft sensation again. So he disregarded all thought, coming forward inch by inch as he gauged your response, and when he viewed you fluttering your eyes shut and lifting your head towards him, he fought back cracking a smirk. 
Taehyung was milliseconds from connecting your mouths, feeling the skin of his lips blissfully brush yours as his sweet breath invaded your mouth, only for a frantic voice suddenly calling out his name to interrupt, the very culprit tumbling into the hallway. 
“Taehyung! Y/N- oh shit.” Taehyung immediately ducked his face away from you and you hastily let him go, Taehyung puffing out frustrated air as he met his friends’ eyes. “Jimin.. what?” 
“I-uh. I’m sorry, but I got Hisung kicked out and we’re gonna start the last toast. You guys should um...be there.” Jimin cleared his throat and began shuffling, avoiding eye contact with the both of you. 
“Okay, we’re coming.” 
“Sorry, again.” Jimin bowed lightly and nearly made a break for it. 
Taehyung sighed heavily, pushing himself off the wall and straightening up as he freed you, finally able to breathe peacefully. 
“We should um.. go.” He voiced awkwardly.
“Yeah.. just give me a second. I’ll be back from the restroom.” You dared to make eye contact with him to seem unaffected, though panicked the instant your gazes locked.
“Okay.” He nodded, seeming unbothered.
You grasped the skirt of your dress and your heels clacked against the tiled flooring as you scurried off, needing to find the bathroom to see whether or not you appeared as much of a mess as you felt. 
You bolted inside and ran towards the sink, spotting two women possibly your age by the mirror though ultimately ignored them, patting over your cheeks to feel how warm they were. 
Were you really just seconds away from kissing Taehyung? Kissing him? What would’ve happened if Jimin never walked in? Would you have kissed him for however long, would you have stopped it? 
Even better question, why didn’t you stop it? Why were you so ready to kiss him, maybe even excited by the very idea? It sent a chill down your spine, even recalling that Taehyung stated earlier he liked your lips. 
Kim Taehyung liked your lips, the same ridiculously high-status, wealthy man people were on their knees for, practically Seoul’s most powerful CEO and Korea’s seemingly unattainable bachelor; that same Taehyung was the one who liked not only your lips, but your height, even your eyes. 
He said they were nice. 
You didn’t even want to unbox the entire Hisung situation. He so naturally defended you, even held you back out of consideration for your safety it seemed, and it frightened you how much you liked it, liked that he was so protective and made all those confessions about disliking other men around you.
It may have been possessive, but you fucking liked it. 
And you already felt doomed. 
You were simply imploding on yourself, having your own personal meltdown when one of the two women audaciously addressed you, tone light and airy. 
“Oh my God, are you Min Y/N?” She inquired. 
You flashed your eyes to her, answering with furrowed eyebrows. “Uh, Kim Y/N now, but yes.” 
“Wow, so you’re the woman Kim Taehyung married?” The other one perked up. 
“..Yes.” You answered confused.  
The other woman really scoffed here, scoffed, “Song-i, it’s the other way around. She married him.” The rather rude looking woman clarified, and you found out right after just how rude she was. “The Kim Taehyung would never willingly marry someone like her.” 
Your expression immediately contorted, unbelieving of her audacity. “Excuse me?” 
“Don’t think we’re stupid, everyone knows you seduced him into it.” She nearly spat, tone snobby as ever. 
You guffawed humourlessly, truly having it up to here with today because it seemed never-ending with bullshit. “Think what you want, but I didn’t seduce him.” 
“We know you’re lying, he wouldn’t marry some runaway like you. You came out of nowhere, you clearly got into his bed before you got him to the altar.” The other one added on, painting their twisted narrative together. 
“It wasn’t like that all, but if you want to think so because you’re not the one he takes home at night, then be my fucking guest.” You countered them, look sharp enough you were sure you could cut a diamond. 
They both took immediate offence, having the audacity to near you and invade your personal space. “You’re not the only woman he’s taken home, do you really think you’re special?” She insinuated something you weren’t dumb enough to not catch, heart sinking at the thought. 
“What exactly are you trying to get at?” 
“The fact that he married you as a favour, you runaway, and everyone knows your marriage isn’t love at all.” She relayed with a snippy tone. “Don’t you get you’re just charity to him? Everyone knows it, sweetie.” 
You were trying hard to think of a way to counter, though your stinging heart took the jab like it was white hot lightning. You felt crushed within seconds at the comment hitting home, sinking lower until you spoke up. 
“Our marriage isn’t your business. Maybe try getting a life before you revolve it around mine.” You spat as you sent them a petty look, making your way out and almost exiting until you felt a splash of water hitting the back of your hair, mouth falling agape at the sheer audacity of what just fucking happened. 
“Your life is fucking miserable. You’ll stay by his side but he’ll never love you. Keep acting like your his real wife and see what’ll happen. Everyone hates you and how you made him marry you out of pity. Watch your back, runaway, you never know when he might end it all and break your little heart.” You almost, almost turned around to land a right hook across the girl’s face until you decided against it, composing yourself with a breathing mantra and instead choosing your favourite way of leaving a bad situation. 
With a snarky last word. 
“Seems he’s already broken yours with this ring, huh? Stay mad at the ring bitches, stay mad at the ring.” You smiled condescendingly as you flaunted Taehyung’s twelve thousand dollar ring, walking out of the bathroom despite their exclamations and practically marching towards the hall, seething. 
You arrived inside and plopped down on your seat next to Taehyung bitterly, utterly vexed as you crossed your arms and grinded your teeth. 
“Hey, where were you?” Taehyung asked. “You missed the toast.” 
“Could’ve done it without me anyway.” You replied curtly, all the information you received in just 2 minutes ruling your thoughts and sending you into a storm of anger, spoiling your mood. 
Taehyung became confused. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Nothing.” You huffed and reached for your glass of water, taking a large swig and nearly slamming it back onto the table. 
Taehyung reacted surprised. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” He became apprehensive of your mood, grabbing your hand on the table gently as he searched for your eyes. 
Though he instead found your eyes flashing towards something else, someone else before you snatched your hand away, eyes set cold.  
“I said nothing.” 
Taehyung followed your previous line of sight and landed on two women finding their seats a few tables away, their own eyes immediately deflecting from him once he made eye contact.
And it really only took two seconds for Taehyung to connect the dots, recognizing their faces. 
Taehyung sighed heavily, feeling guilty and suddenly apologetic about the possible situation, knowing something must have been said to you. 
He turned back around, “Y/N, what happened?” He tried inquiring again, though you responded with absolutely nothing, completely crossed and avoiding him. 
He exhaled tiredly, this day having been the epitome of a joke. Taehyung was scanning over you again when he suddenly noticed the ends of your hair, distinguishing they were wet and he found it strange. “Y/N, why the fuck is your hair wet?” He was moving to touch the damp parts until you evaded him, tone rigid. 
“Nothing, Taehyung.” 
Taehyung sighed again, frustrated as he once again put two-and-two together, remembering you’d all come from the restroom and addressed you. “What did they say, Y/N? Tell me right now, is that why your hair’s wet?” 
“No, Taehyung, nothing happened,” You stressed, turning your body even further away from him and crossing your arms tighter. 
Taehyung determined he’s truly had enough of today and rose from his seat, you noticing though choosing to ignore him. Taehyung quickly resolved he was going to fix this, beyond agitated this entire day had been damned to hell. He was having a good time too, especially keeping in mind whatever in God’s name was happening between you two, and only knowing that it made him inexplicably happy for some reason. 
Though that mood was ruined now, Taehyung shaking away his thoughts as he began plotting his approach towards your situation, entirely pissed off as he made his way towards the bar, concocting his plan. 
It took Taehyung only a good 10 minutes to get what he needed, snatching the nicest bottle of champagne and trying to remember where he’d observed the two women sitting, strolling his way over to the table with his fakest grin.  
“Good evening, ladies.” He greeted with a saccharine tone as he neared them. 
“Oh my God, Taehyung!” One of the girls beamed. “We haven’t seen you so long, what are you doing here?” 
“Yeah, too long!” 
“It has.” Taehyung smiled. “I actually wanted to offer this.” Taehyung then revealed the bottle of champagne from behind his back, holding it out towards them. 
The two women became elated, practically cheering as they clearly admired Taehyung more than he liked. “Oh wow! Thank you so much!” One of them thanked, receiving the bottle bashfully. 
“You’re too kind, Taehyung, did you really get this for us?” The other inquired, a bright smile on her face. 
“Actually, I didn’t.” 
Both women looked at each other confused, eyebrows furrowed. “You.. didn’t?” 
“No,” Taehyung responded with a bleak expression in near offence they’d assume that, smile wiped from his face. “You both did.”
“Wh-what?” They both questioned, incredulous. 
“I put it on your tabs, geniuses. There’s 6 more bottles, by the way.” 
Both women’s eyes went wide, immediately protesting. “T-this is the most expensive bottle of champagne here!” They looked annoyed, and Taehyung was all about it.  
“I know.” Taehyung smiled condescendingly, drawing closer to the women and dropping his tone to a scarily low, threatening octave. 
“Say anything to my wife again and I’ll make sure you pay more.” Taehyung finalized and rubbed his tongue along the inside of his cheek as he walked away, smirking. He ignored their protests as he passed by the bartender, winking for the 6 other bottles of champagne to be delivered to them. 
Taehyung then made his way to you, now in a hurry to leave this awful night behind as he gently gripped your arm, speaking into your ear to not alert anyone else at the table. “Y/N, we’re leaving.” 
Taehyung didn’t really have to wait, you responding rapidly, “Don’t have to tell me twice.” You were already rising from your seat, done with this entire Godforsaken night yourself. 
You both stepped away together, just about reaching the hall doors until Taehyung stopped you in front, holding you by your arms. “Stay here, I’ll get your coat.” 
You nodded at him and Taehyung bolted off, wanting to nab your coat as fast as possible so he could drape it around you and practically flaunt your relationship in front of everyone. He didn’t care if it was fake anymore, didn’t care for the legitimacy of his actions; he simply wanted the world to know you’re his wife, purposely wanted those two girls and everyone to see him treating you affectionately.
And he most certainly wanted to squash any of the doubt Hisung called attention to earlier that kept bugging him, entailing your marriage already seeming fake to him, and could to multiple other people.  
So he retrieved the coats and came rushing back to you, having worn his as he approached you. You almost reached out for your coat until Taehyung halted you. 
“Don’t, I’m putting it on you.” He rounded the coat around your body, helping your arms into the sleeves. He pulled it snug around you and held onto the ends where it should’ve been buttoned, taking a moment to think. 
Taehyung simply gazed at you, licking his lips contemplating what more he could do in this moment that would be convincing enough, knowing there had to be people watching you two right now. 
He realized he was staring without having said anything. “Sorry, I’m trying to think of something to do for everyone watching but I don’t know what.” Taehyung flashed to your lips and his mind explored the idea, though ultimately fought against it. 
“People are watching?” You inquired.
“Yeah,” Taehyung clutched onto your jacket, trying to think as he looked at your little bundled up self. 
“But I’m not sure what to do-” Taehyung was cut off by you suddenly grabbing his tie and crashing your lips onto his in a single second. 
Taehyung’s eyes blew out, taken by surprise until he found himself quickly melting into your kiss, hands gripping your jacket tighter. He couldn’t help himself from opening up his mouth to catch more of yours, lips sensually kissing yours in a slow, unhurried pace. 
You instantly loved the way he kissed, Taehyung somehow having taken control when you were the one who initiated everything, completely taken by his pillowy, delicate lips. 
Taehyung didn’t care if your lipstick smudged onto him or how brash the public display of affection seemed; all he cared about was the soft feeling of your lips against his own, and the sexy way you wre tugging him by his tie.
He knew it would stay on his mind for weeks. 
You were getting lost until he disconnected your mouths, only looking at each other with undecipherable feelings, shimmering eyes that had no clue what just happened. 
Taehyung smiled before sweeping up your hand in an instant, pulling you out of the hall and eventually outside to quickly sent a text to his driver, guiding you to the curb of the venue. 
He held you against him to keep you warm while walking, suddenly speaking up when something occurred to him. 
“You called me Tae, you know.” 
“What?” 
“My nickname, you called me by it earlier.” Taehyung repeated. 
“Oh, I’m sorry. I just heard your friends say it and it slipped out, I didn’t mean to-”
“Say it all you want.” Taehyung was grinning to himself like an idiot, thinking you weren’t looking at him but that’s exactly what you were doing, admiring the curve of his perfect cupid’s bow with hints of your lipstick smeared on him. “It’s better when you say it.” 
And now it was your turn to smile like an idiot. 
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tags : @thedarkwinterrose​ @ayujaded​ @couldbeyourlast​ @ladyarmanto​ @anpanman-sonyeondan​ @apollukee​ @blueevelvt​ @taesluttt​ @scalubera​ @laurynne5​ @dreamsindreamss​ @thequeen-kat​ @awsome-small-k​ @wrecklesssly​ @kweenhu​ @jalexad​ @staerify​ @bangforever​ @dyriddle​ @aianloveseven​ @waves-and-woods​ @hoefortaeshands​ @veronawrites​ @nightapple4jk​ @wataemelonz​ @aomi-nabi​ @katbonv​ @hantaev​ @jinpuddin​ @usamizuki​ @wooya1224​ @bambuzlee​ @jenotation​ @tangledsparkles​ @pcyxljh​ @forbts-only​ @dumplingley​ @ccmemoirs​ @kleritata​ @thelilbutifulthings​ @maygem2780​ @lachimolala95​ @betysotelo18​ @prettycoolting​ @opaljm​ @jeonlovers​ @honeyboocal​ @preciouschimine​ 
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neonlights92 · 3 years
Text
RUN: Chapter VII (Epilogue.)
Jeon Jungkook hops from bed to bed, sleeping with as many beautiful, rich women as he can possibly find time for.  He’s young and attractive, with a silver tongue that gets him practically anything he wants.  So when his friend and boss, Kim Taehyung, tells him it’s time to settle down, Jungkook takes it pretty badly.  And when he finds out that the woman he’s destined to marry is, in fact, his little sister’s best friend, he is less than impressed.
You have spent your entire life trying to forget the way you feel about Jeon Jungkook.   So when you find out that Jungkook is to be your husband - and that he is anything but pleased about it - your world is thrown into chaos.  How can you survive a loveless marriage with the man you are hopelessly in love with?
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Hey friends! Enjoy the epilogue <3  Namjoonie next..
You were pissed.
Jungkook had promised you he wouldn’t be late tonight.
It was your one year anniversary - one whole year of being married to the love of your life - and you were meant to be celebrating at a fancy restaurant with champagne and good food. 
You’d gotten all dressed up - squeezed yourself into some ridiculous contraption of a dress - just for him, and now it looked like you were going to miss your booking.
Eight o’clock passed…
Then eight-thirty…
Then nine…
By the time your husband finally decided to make an appearance it was more than an hour passed your reservation time.  You’d taken off your dress - kicked off your heels - and made a move on your makeup when the door to your bedroom clicked open.
“Hi Angel…” 
Jungkook’s sheepish tone greeted - and you chose not to answer - instead glaring at his reflection in your vanity mirror.
“I know, I know I’m late,” He’s pulled his tie and blazer off, the sleeves of his crisp white shirt rolled up to his forearms.  You chose not to comment on the suspiciously red coloured stains peppering his collar.
“Happy anniversary to us, I guess.”  Your own voice was sharp and angry - in the year you’d been married to Jungkook he had made you feel special and loved - but that didn’t mean he still didn’t fuck up.
“I’m sorry baby,”  He moved towards you quickly, and you stood turning to face him, “It was - y’know… God.  It’s Bangtan.” The desperation on his face pulled at your heart strings.
You knew your husband’s job was important - you knew that as a member of the Special Seven - as Bangtan’s shadow he had more responsibilities than he would probably ever tell you. 
And you knew that you wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him for long.
But still.  It was meant to be a special night for the two of you.  An acknowledgement of everything you’d been through together.
An acknowledgement of your love for one another.
You couldn’t help that you were disappointed.
“It’s alright,” You shrugged, “It’s part of the package, right?”
He sighed heavily and reached up to push some of your hair out of your face, “I hate disappointing you.”  His tone was tender and a little more of your anger fizzled out, “I love you so much Angel.  I always want to be with you - I always want to make you happy.  But I’m not always very good at it, huh?”
You chose not to say anything - slipping your bottom lip between your teeth and staring into the eyes of the man who had changed your life.
God.  Your heart swelled to nearly three times it’s size at the look on his face.
Such reverence and adoration - like you were a work of art.
He always made you feel special, like that.  
“I’m sorry baby,” His voice was sincere, “I really am.  I know tonight was meant to be special…. God.  What kind of husband leaves their wife waiting for them on their anniversary?” 
He laughed without humour, and you felt a stab of guilt.
“It’s okay Jungkook,” You licked your bottom lip and shrugged, “We’ll celebrate another time.”
He touched your face gently and frowned, “I know you’re disappointed… And you have every right to be, Y/N.  Tonight should’ve been about us.”
You sighed heavily, “What kept you out so late?”
His eyes darkened and you noticed for the first time how tired he seemed.  He’d been out all day - and if the blood on his shirt was any indicator it hadn’t been easy.
“Namjoon.”  He answered hoarsely, “He barely comes out on missions with us anymore.  Barely wants to be around any of us…” 
You felt a stab of guilt.
Since the night you’d been kidnapped almost four months ago, Kim Namjoon had turned into a shell of his former self.  You knew you couldn’t have done anything - you were just as much a victim of Sana’s brutality as he was - but you still felt awful.
“What happened?”
“We tried to help him… Lord knows we’re all emotionally constipated.  But Jimin thought it might be nice to take him out for lunch.  So we did.  And then…” Jungkook shook his head, “Namjoon cut himself with his steak knife.  He hasn’t gotten used to his prosthetics yet.” 
“The blood?” He clicked his tongue, “He was sitting beside me.”
You instantly felt terrible.  You moved to wrap your arms around your husband, pulling him down for a fierce kiss.
“I’m sorry baby,” You whispered against his mouth, “I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head and frowned, “No stop - don’t.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I can’t take you out for anniversary meals like normal couples.  I’m sorry I come home with blood on my shirt -” 
“It’s okay Jungkookie.”  You pressed a hand to his cheek and he smiled softly at the nickname he’d begrudgingly accepted, “I know who you are - I know the world we live in.  I accept it.  I accept you.  Is it annoying? Of course.  But I won’t give up on us.  Ever.”
He leaned into your touch and kissed your palm, “I love you baby.”
“Me too.”
“Next time though, text me alright?” You pulled a face, “I wouldn’t have bothered getting dressed up.”
He nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“I will Angel.”
He spent the rest of the evening showing you just how sorry he was, and how much he absolutely adored you.
Needless to say, it wasn’t the worst way to spend an anniversary.
//
“I have something to tell you.”  Nayeon had shown up not five minutes ago, with a promise that you had to sit down and listen to her.
You’d obliged of course - she was your best friend after all.
But her confession had knocked the air out of you.
“I’m getting married.”
She was grinning from ear to ear.  You almost dropped the cup of tea you were drinking.
“What?”
“I’m getting married.”  She didn’t seem upset, “That’s why I came round.”
“To who?”
Her smile widened, “Song Mino.”
“Oh!” You mirrored her expression, “Song Mino.  He’s… Nice.”
“And hot.”  
Your face flushed and you nudged Nayeon playfully, “Stop it.”
“I’m happy.”  She told you honestly, “I might not know him very well but he seems like a decent guy.  And like I said… Hot.” You laughed this time at your friend’s unabashed appreciation of her husband-to-be and clicked your tongue, “Well if you’re happy sweetie, then so am I.”
“My dad told me last night.  Mino’s father approves - so does Taehyung….”  Her eyes flitted to yours guiltily and immediately you realised what this was.
A setup.
“You want me to tell Jungkook.”
Her lips stretched into a thin line.  She grimaced.
“Yes.” 
“Why can’t you tell him?”
She frowned deeply, “Because Jungkook’s hated Song Mino ever since they were kids and he stole Jungkook’s first girlfriend.”
“Your brother is not that petty.”
“Yes he is.”  She raised a brow and scoffed, “Don’t tell me you don’t know that about him.”
You bit back a laugh at the thought of Jungkook holding a grudge for as long as he apparently had with Mino.  Then you frowned.  Tonight was meant to be a different kind of surprise for your husband.
“I also had some big news for Jungkook tonight.  I was going to wait to tell you but since you’re already here….”
For a brief moment Nayeon seemed confused by what you’d said before her eyes widened and she shot out of her seat.  She moved towards you like you were a glass of water and she hadn’t drunk in a week.
“Oh my god.  Oh my god.”  She pulled you in for a hug, “You’re pregnant aren’t you?  Oh my God! How far along?”
You laughed at your friend, “I only found out this morning.  We’ve been trying for a couple of months… But I’ve only missed one period.” 
Nayeon’s eyes were sparkling with tears and you were sure your own weren’t too far off, “Oh my god!  Don’t worry about telling him about the wedding.  I’ll do that sweetie.  You just worry about telling my brother he’s going to be a dad!” 
A loud thud caught both your attention and you turned sharply to find the brother in question - your husband - staring at you both in shock.
“Wait… What?”
Jungkook’s eyes flitted between yours and his sister’s.  He blinked slowly, as if slotting everything into place.
Nayeon pulled away from you quickly and shot you an apologetic look.
“Surprise?”  She said to her brother with a weak smile before grabbing her things and making a nervous beeline for the exit. 
Nayeon mouthed “I’m sorry” to you as she disappeared and you had to stop yourself from laughing at the entire situation.  Of course it would all happen like this.
“Was she… Was that…”
You stood quickly and moved towards your husband, cupping his face in your hands softly.  Your eyes roved his his features carefully, looking for any sign of apprehension.  But all you saw was surprise… And joy.
“I’m going to be a dad?” He whispered, eyes wide, “For real?”
“For real.”  You smiled up at him and pressed a kiss to his lips, “You’re going to be the best dad.”
He broke out into a wide grin and bundled you up in a hug, raining  his own kisses down across your face.
“Oh my god Angel.  We’re going to be parents.  Oh my God!” 
You giggled at his reaction and squealed when he lifted you off your feet.
“Pregnant wife.”  You warned him, and he put you down quickly, patting your head and shoulders to check for signs of injury.
“Oh my god.  Pregnant wife,” His smile was dazzling, “I love you so much Angel.”
“I love you too Jungkookie.”
You had spent so long running from your feelings for Jungkook.  And he’d done the same.
Thank God you finally decided to stop and rest.
Things would never be perfect - but you were happy.  And so was he. 
And that was all that really mattered to you.
//
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absolutebl · 2 years
Text
This Week in BL
Dec 2021 Wk 4
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Gen Y 2 (YouTube) Ep 1 - Look... my dumpster fire soap opera is back and I am THRILLED. I really don’t care much about what happens in this show, it’s a delicious buffet of random tasty nonsense and, for me, presentation is mostly irrelevant because it tastes DELICIOUS. Okay that metaphor got away from me. But yeah. I’m trash watching and live blogging it here. 
Not Me (YouTube) Ep 2 - it’s good, I’m enjoying it, but for some reason I’m not totally feeling it. I think I might like the side dish couple better. (Which would be weird, since I hated Fluke in Dark Blue Kiss.) Maybe it’s because motorcycle gang romances have never been my thing? I don’t know, I’ll keep watching tho, don’t worry.  (For the record, I’ve been a biker all my adult life. My baby is a supped up first gen SV650 with a ton of after market mods, thank you for asking.)
Bad Buddy (YouTube) Ep 9 - It was a great episode, they used external conflict (the enemy of my enemy is my friend) to solve for the breach in the friendship groups was brilliant and Korn being the biggest PatPran shipper was a delight. GMMTV also used this episode to correctf or both gay for you AND wifey terminology - a red letter day! I’m live blogging it here.
Paint with Love (Gaga) Ep 5 - very cute, actually, and watching at 1.5x helps. Maze’s past with Nueng is revealed as a subverted step brothers trope. Other tropes included gay family domesticity (a favorite of mine), head on shoulder, and touch my lip and think of kissing.  
Loveless Society Ep 4 fin - didn’t drop prior to this post 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Mr Cinderella (Vietnam - YouTube) Ep 4 - oh this is so good. I love it when the confused bi just gays tf up and is all, “I like this boy, time to start courting.” Especially when it’s Vietnam because we know that means HIGH domesticity. We got my boyfriend’s closet trope. Could these two get any cuter? Well yes, and we can safely say they're going to. 
Tinted With You (Korea 1 & 2 Viki) - opens on a kiss. Certainly this doesn’t really show lips touching (whatcha expect, still Korea) but nevertheless, very daring. There aren’t really any expectations around historical BL (as opposed to bromances). Only China pre censorship and Korea has ever given it to us. And so far, only Korea during this current golden age of the genre. So far this one is elegant and atmospheric and a little disjointed, but historical romance is my absolutely favorite so I am quite taken. (This it portal fantasy time travel... think Outlander only gay and Joseon.) 
Utsukushii Kare AKA My Beautiful Man (Japan - Gaga) Ep 6 fin - i lost my mind over this BL’s ending, quite possibly one of the best final episodes in the history of the genre. If you don’t watch this fantastic yaoi-roots kinky af little show of utter dirty joy, the BL gods will be very disappointed in you. 9/10 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 
Kieta Hatsukoi AKA My Love Mix-Up! (Japan - Viki/Netflix) Ep 10 fin - This show is so much teen angst chaos even I (the world’s premier Make it Right apologist) might have reached my limit. Aoki is so wrapped up in his own drama, he never tries to understand or sympathize with Ida. While that is VERY teenager, eventually it felt selfish to me. Maybe because Ida is so obviously demi, I could see all along it would just take him more time, it’s frustrating that Aoki never understood that and made no effort to actually sympathize with Ida. So while I still enjoyed this BL, it kinda lost me at the end, even though the final episode left me smiling. I think my second hand embarrassment gene and the show’s slapstick wholesomeness will work against it for me in rewatch potential as well. So for all those reasons I settled on 8/10 still VERY MUCH RECOMMENDED. And I totally understand if you loved it a ton more than I did. Remember: 
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In Case You Missed It
Charming Japanese slice of gay domesticity, What Did You Eat Yesterday? has a special coming to Netflix Jan 3. This might be the long awaited movie. 
The movie version of K-BL The Tasty Florida (Viki) is better subbed and has a little extra high heat content, and I think it’s superior to the original series. 
Trailers dropped for Thai BL Coffee Melody (looks less good than I was hoping) &  Heart by Heart (looks way better and more dramatic than anticipated), and Taiwanese BL DNA Says Love You (just confusing). 
ALSO, DO I SPOT CONSENT?! 
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Turn’s out YES is the answer to that question. Or more precisely, you better. 
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Korean queer production house Strongberry dropped trailer for a new short (Probubly to Vimeo and/or GaGa), The Summer Pasta Recipe which is a reunion romance. The tag line is: I'm curious about my ex's recipe. I love this because I while I have many exes and I don’t regret leaving any of them, occasionally I do regret not having gotten dat damn recipe first.
Speaking of Korea, supposedly coming Jan 2022: First Love For The Third Time based on a BL script that won Ascendio’s (You Make Me Dance) competition starring influencer Jeon Chang Ha and actor Jin Gun. A popular, picky and well-organized web novelist who remembers his past lives. While living his third reincarnation, he meets his first love, who is now an editor. 6 episodes, 25 min each. No platform announced yet.
BL 2022 Gossip 
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That photo above is from social media. Son Woo Hyun (L) is currently filming To My Star 2. Speculation is wild that Jang Eui Soo (R) continues his one man quest to play pokemon with Korea’s BL industry. (So far he has been in: Where Your Eyes Linger, My Sweet Dear, Nobleman Ryu's, & Mr. Heart). 
MaxTul are appearing (as themselves in a guest drop in) on reality TV series Bromance (Thai gay dating show take on The Batchelor). 
Kpop’s best known out gay singer Holland, was rumored to be in a BL that now has a title: Ocean Like Me.
MAME’s upcoming project, Past Love In The Future rumored to star Smart Chisanupong and James Pongsapak AKA LeonPob of Don’t Say No. (Stop her or we’ll go blond.) I SENSE ANOTHER DUMPSTER FIRE. 
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Color Rush 2 starts Jan 21 on Viki on, different cast same director, Hwall/Hur Hyun Jun (Yoo Han) is out. Read about it, plus us chatting our thoughts on why and what this might mean in the comments of this post. This is now rumored to be a bromance and not a BL. Description: In this season 2, the story focuses on Yeon Woo, a mono searching for both his mother and his probe. Meanwhile, his classmate Se Hyun will help him uncover the mysteries even as he also hides a secret.
Adventures in Miss-captions 
Vietnam always with the cutest versions. Honestly the more I read it, the less it makes sense. But *shrug* STILL adorable. 
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Also I can’t believe it took me until now to realize this is the same actor as the seme character in The Ring Goes Missing! He hasn’t aged at all. I mean it’s eery, he looks EXACTLY the same. Another one for the vampire coven?  
Next Week Looks Like This:
Behind Cut starts on Monday on Viki. Love Area Part 2 starts on GaGa on Saturday. Happy New Year for those who celebrate it at this time of year, 2022 is looking great for BL.
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Upcoming 2021 BL master post here. I keep a full record there of everything I announce in the weekly updates. 
This week’s best moments? 
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Oh look, GY2 serving up my FAVORITE archetype of all time right after Japan featured it! 
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Please, fuck with our fairytales more, you Vietnamese queer geniuses, you. 
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Also GMMTV correcting for its past mistakes! 
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fific7 · 3 years
Text
Dangerous and Divine - Epilogue
Billy Russo x Reader
Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.
A/N: The final part!! This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 Hopefully you’ve guessed by now that is my “Billy Russo Deserves Real Love AU” as I totally refuse to accept what happened in S2! The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.
Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.
*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.
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(My GIF)
Six Months Later
You opened up your eyes slowly, becoming aware of a finger trailing gently down your arm; it felt like a butterfly fluttering on your skin. Two dark chocolate eyes were gazing down into yours, sparkling with mischief.
“Good morning, Mrs Russo,” a very self-satisfied Billy Russo whispered, smiling at you.
You yawned, stretching out out your limbs and enjoying the feeling of a light breeze on your body coming through the patio doors.
“Morning, Billy,” you replied, reaching up and kissing his lips, scratching a finger along his bristly jaw. “And how is my wife this morning?” he asked, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “I’m good... actually, very good,” you smiled up at him. “Just as well we’ve got our own villa, angel. You were so noisy last night, screaming my name,” he teased.
Getting up, you stretched again, aware of Billy’s eyes on you as you picked up your little silky robe, slowly putting it on and enjoying the disappointed look on his face. “That’s just to big up your male ego, poppet,” you teased back. He flung himself onto his back on the bed, faux-sulking, “How can you say that, sweetheart?! ....after I kept you up half the night making love to you?”
“Only half the night? Would’ve thought the love god that is Billy Russo would be claiming it was all night!!” A pout instantly appeared on his handsome face and that was just too much, so you leant down over him, stroking his face and kissing him passionately. He grabbed you, pulling you down onto him and your robe came off a lot faster than it went on, unceremoniously dumped on the floor. “Ride me,” he whispered in your ear.
You had to bring him back down to earth though, as you quite urgently needed to visit the bathroom and so you’d extricated yourself from his arms and stood up, picking up your robe. The pout had got even poutier and his eyes looked huge as he gazed up at you from where he lay on the crisp white Egyptian cotton sheets. “Oh, okayyy,” he drawled, grinning, both hands going up behind his head as he lazed back on the pillows, “....so now we’re married, you’re gonna start slappin’ sex bans on me, huh?” You slipped your robe back on and put your hands on your hips, “Billy Russo! Don’t be such a drama king! You’d think you were on your honeymoon or something!” He just kept on grinning at you.
“Well! You either wait two minutes so I don’t have an accident on those lovely clean sheets, or maybe I’d better just call my divorce lawyer right now!” you mock-threatened. His face fell, “Angel! I’m only jokin’ y’know!” You burst out laughing, “Me too, you silly big sap! But not about going to the bathroom!” Flouncing out of the bedroom, hearing his answering laugh as you went.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Once you were in the bathroom, you let your mind drift back over the last few days. You and Billy had been married just two days ago, a small wedding just as you both wanted with close family and friends only (Billy’s Marine buddies being his family). You’d had the most perfect day, but after all the planning and rushing around in the run-up to the big day, you felt as if it had all gone by in a flash. Whoosh - and it was all over. One minute Karen and your little cousin had been fussing round you, helping with your hair, your makeup, your dress, and in no time at all - it seemed - Billy was taking your hand and leading you out of the reception party, accompanied by a chorus of wolf whistles and catcalls.
You two had stayed that night in the beautiful hotel in upstate New York where the wedding had been held. Billy had picked you up ‘bridal style’ while you were in the hotel elevator and then carried you along the corridor to your suite, kicking the door shut behind him and laying you gently down on the bed. Then he had slowly and sensually slid your wedding dress and underskirts up over your thighs, smile as bright as the sun as he ran his hands over your stockings and garter belt, pushed aside your lacy underwear and had taken you right there and then, whispering to you all the while that now you were truly his.
The next day, you and Billy had flown from JFK to Ibiza in the Balearic Islands, Spain. He’d been surprised when you’d said where you wanted to go for your honeymoon. He thought you’d want to go to the Caribbean or the Maldives or suchlike. But you’d spent some very happy times there when you were on your travels a while back, and you knew he’d love the laid-back vibe of the island.
So he’d booked a luxurious villa for a whole month, in the pine-clad hills above a large cove with a beach called Cala Llonga, east of Ibiza Town. The aromatic scent in the air was truly intoxicating and you closed your eyes, inhaling it from the small breeze making its way through the bathroom window, open just a tiny bit.
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You sighed happily; both workplaces had been asked to contact you only in a dire emergency and with Frank and Jake left in charge while you and Billy were on honeymoon, after initially being anxious about being away for so long you now felt surprisingly relaxed about it.
Washing your hands and making your way back to the bedroom, you smiled as you saw your new husband sprawled out on the bed, naked and looking at you with a devilish smirk on his handsome face.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Billy happily stretched out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and hearing the water running in the bathroom in the background. The more he thought about it, the more he could hardly believe it - he’d actually managed to persuade her to marry him. He really thought he’d blown it when he’d proposed the first time. When she’d changed her mind and said ‘Yes’, he’d been so happy he thought he’d explode like a human hand grenade.
Still somewhat surprised about his complete turnaround from playboy to lovesick sap, he’d decided long before the wedding to just lie back and accept what the Fates had in store for him. Maybe they’d decided to give him some good karma for a change, after his solitary and loveless childhood and the difficulties he’d had after he left the Marines.
He thought back to just before the wedding ceremony, when Frank had been helping him tie his silver silky cravat after he’d put on his fancy morning suit and dress shirt. His big friend had suddenly clasped his shoulder, saying gruffly, “Bill.... you’ve finally got a chance to be ‘Happy Ever After’, y’know bud. Don’t fuck it up, whatever you do.”
Grabbing the big paw on his shoulder, he’d said sincerely, “I won’t, Frankie... believe me, I won’t.”
He’d also thought about a text he’d received the night before the wedding, and which he’d decided not to mention to his girl. Because it was from Madani. She’d heard the news about Billy getting married from Sam, who he’d met by chance in a local bar a few days before the wedding.
Typical vitriolic Madani, he thought. Saying how he was making a big mistake and he’d regret it in the end. Meaning, of course, because he hadn’t chosen her. Hadn’t even wished the two of you well, couldn’t bring herself to make even that small concession.
Bitch. He’d angrily deleted the text along with the whole string of her past messages, and had then deleted her contact details out of his phone. A feeling of great satisfaction had washed over him as he’d hit the ‘Delete Contact’ button on Dinah Madani. Gone and very definitely forgotten.
Now he looked over to see his angel walking back towards him, looking totally edible in her silky robe.
Grinning, he patted the sheet next to him, “C’mere, sweetheart....”
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Billy grabbed your wrist, pulling you down next to him and pouncing on top of you. The robe came off again and he was kissing you hungrily, appetite undiminished even after your mutual athletics the night before. He ran his hands all over you, pulling your body closer against his, telling you how much he loved you, wanted you, needed you. Then he rolled over onto his back, grinning over at you, “C’mon, angel... I need you to ride me.”
Grinning back at him, “Might do,” you replied. He shook his head, “No, really.... angel... you need to do it and do it now.” You also lay down on your back, “What’s the consequences if I don’t?” you teased. He looked horrified, “You sayin’ No to me?” You shrugged, smirking. “Angel! Please.... what... uhhh... do I gotta beg?” You nodded, “I think you do.” So Billy sighed, getting up and then kneeling beside the bed, hands clasped together and held up in supplication to you, “Please, goddess, m’beggin’ you.... pleeeease! Please!”
From your lofty perch on the bed, you looked down at the male masterpiece currently on his knees in front of you. The early morning sun highlighted his sculpted muscles to perfection, including the delicious-looking erection he was sporting, and you couldn’t keep up the pretence any longer. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair, tugging on it several times as his now-grinning face looked up at you.
“Ahhh... so I got the green light, goddess?” You nodded imperiously, and he leapt up and onto the bed at the speed of light. You pushed his shoulders down into the pillows and climbed on top of him, seeing his eyes widen in anticipation. Leaning over, you slid your fingers to the back of his neck and began gently stroking, then took his ‘tache between your lips and sucked gently, before running your tongue over it and then sucking again. Hearing small whimpers coming from him, you moved on to the tufty bit of beard under his bottom lip, giving it the same treatment. Then you ran your tongue very slowly over his bottom lip and suddenly you heard an agonised ‘Fuck!” from Billy, and wetness spread over your stomach and thighs.
Sitting up, you looked down in surprise at the sheen you could see glinting on your skin. A very sheepish-looking Billy was gazing up at you, “Uhhh....m’sorry, angel,” he whispered, “....y’got me too excited.” He covered his eyes with one big hand, then you saw two dark chocolate eyes peeking out between his fingers at you. “Are you mad at me?” he asked, somewhat fearfully. You leant down and kissed his nose, “No! Course not, Billy.”
He slid his hand away from his face, “Really? Been goin’ on at you to ride me then don’t even get inside you before.....!” and he gestured at the pearly liquid on your skin. His face was tinged pink by now, “M’so embarrassed!” he wailed. “Honestly, Billy.... I’m not mad at you,” you said, tweaking his nose between finger and thumb before getting up and heading through to the bathroom. Grabbing a handful of baby wipes you went back to the bedroom, sitting on the bed and quickly cleaning yourself up before teasing Billy by running a baby wipe slowly and sensually along his velvety length. You heard some low soft moans from him, and knew it wouldn’t be very long before he was fully aroused again.
So you kept on stroking him. Laying the baby wipe aside, you continued using just your hand on him. “Sweetheart, what you tryin’ to do to me?” he asked in a breathy voice. “Oh, poppet.... I think you know exactly what I’m doing,” you smirked down at him, loving the way he looked at that moment, vulnerable and at your mercy, big wide eyes gazing up at you, lips parted slightly. You slid your hand in between his legs, taking hold of his balls, gently massaging and squeezing them while still working his cock with your other hand. He squirmed below you, breath catching in his throat, one hand going to the hand you were stroking him with and pulling it to the head of his cock. Taking the hint, you concentrated on it, squeezing and rubbing at it while Billy writhed under you, letting out a string of swears.
Then you decided to add a little something to the mix and leant down to lick him, letting your tongue drag over his tip back and forth with quite some force. Billy had cried out really quite loudly as you started doing that and you smiled, thinking he’d made a good point about having a private villa. You could both be really noisy when you wanted to be. Feeling him stiffening in your hand, you increased the speed and firmness of your stroking and also took him more fully into your mouth.
“Please.... sweetheart!” groaned Billy, “....gotta get inside you... please!!!” You could hear him beginning to pant so without further delay you guided him inside you, before sinking down onto his length. He gave a long low moan, while you gasped with pleasure as soon as he was fully sheathed inside you. Billy was giving out soft whimpering moans and began desperately thrusting up into you, hands running up the sides of your body onto your breasts and he began slowly massaging. In turn you started moving on him, hands on his chest, relishing the feeling of both his firm muscled body and how he filled you completely. “You...” Billy whispered, big dark eyes gazing up at you, “...you’re perfect for me, angel. Fit me like a glove.” His hand moved down to where your bodies were joined and began rubbing your clit with his thumb.
“Could say the same about you, Marine,” you breathed against his ear, leaning down and giving him a dirty open-mouthed kiss before moving your mouth onto his neck beard, and running your tongue over it. You felt Billy tense up and knew he was about to climax, and you felt your own orgasm building. Both of you were wound up tighter than springs! You wrapped your arms round your new husband’s shoulders and let the waves of pleasure roll over you.
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A lot later on, you and Billy strolled down to Cala Llonga and joined the small queue of people waiting on the little stone jetty for the water taxi to Ibiza Town. The boat was fairly small and you all crammed onto the wooden benches which filled most of it. Billy wrapped his arm round you, glaring at the Dutch guy sitting on the other side of you who’d been smiling and trying to make small talk with you. “We’re on honeymoon,” he growled at him, butting in just as the guy asked where you were staying. “Oh that’s great, congratulations!” he said, and you’d smiled at him, “Thank you.” Billy however was still glowering at the poor guy, so you elbowed him and he said reluctantly, “Yeah, thanks.”
You tried to distract Billy by pointing out several landmarks as the boat bobbed and puttered its way round the coast, and then the main town on the island came into sight as you rounded the last headland.
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Billy gazed at the sight of the Dalt Vila (Old Town) in front of him and said in an awestruck voice, “Oh hey, that’s so pretty.” You smirked at him, “Told you you’d love it.” He looked back to you, “What’re our plans for this afternoon then?” Pleased that he was handing over the reins to you, smiling fondly at him you said, “Well, first of all I’m gonna make sure my hungry husband gets fed and watered. There are some lovely little outdoor restaurants along the marina.” You heard his stomach rumbling quietly as you mentioned food and he gave you a huge grin, “Now that’s what I call a plan.”
Stepping off the ferry, you guided him to one of the restaurants you’d eaten at before, and chose one of the tables at the front overlooking the yacht moorings. There were quite a few superyachts - some the size of small ocean liners - moored up so the oligarchs were in town, you thought to yourself.
The two of you enjoyed a leisurely lunch, before heading into the maze of narrow streets of the Old Town. Strolling right up to the old church at the very top of the hill, Billy oohing and ahhing at the whitewashed old houses and the view once you reached the church. He leant on the wall enclosing the courtyard in front of the church, looking out over the town, the two marinas and the surrounding hills and you heard a big happy sigh. He turned his head towards you, “This is perfect. You’re perfect. I love this place. And I love you.” He leant in for a kiss, and things started to get a bit raunchy before you heard a throat being cleared loudly behind you. The two of you broke apart, turning to find two elderly Spanish ladies glaring at you with outraged expressions on their faces.
You smiled at them, “Ah... lo siento, señoras, estamos en nuestra luna de miel.” Instantly, large smiles appeared on their faces and they moved away in a flurry of waving hands and staccato Spanish which you couldn’t quite catch. “What d’you say to them, sweetheart?” asked Billy. “That we’re on our honeymoon,” you grinned, “...didn’t understand all of the replies but rest assured, we’re forgiven!” He leaned in, “Well, reckon we should pick up where we left off then,” mouth back on yours. You surreptitiously ran a hand over the zip of his jeans and felt an interesting bulge there, hearing his low gasp, “Okay, but we better leave most of it till we get back to the villa... otherwise we’ll get arrested!” He sighed, nuzzling your neck, “Couldn’t we just go down one of these little streets an’.....” Laughing, you walked away holding out your hand to him, “No we can’t! C‘mon, tiger,” and with a pout firmly in place he followed, taking your hand in his.
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Heading back down through Dalt Vila into the main part of town, you came to Paseo Vara de Rey, a wide, short tree-lined boulevard near the marina. In the evenings, the locals would come here for their before-dinner strolls, stopping for a chat with friends or a quick aperitif. It was just starting to get a bit busier as locals and tourists alike came along to enjoy the late afternoon sun.
You and Billy joined the strolling groups of people, looking in the shop windows and at people sitting in the open-air café sections, gradually making your way towards the marina end of the Paseo. Steering him towards a large hotel situated on the corner of Vara de Rey and into the cool white interior of its bar, you suggested he might want to buy you a cocktail. Leaning on the bar, he grinned at you, “Okay, I will... but then can we go back to the villa?”
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“But why do you want to go back to the villa, Billy? I thought you were having a nice time here in town?” “I am!” he protested, “...and you know perfectly well why I wanna go back!” said with an accompanying eyebrow wiggle, “...we’re on our honeymoon!”
One of the barmen overheard him, “Ah, señor y señora! Let us make you very special cocktails in celebration of your wedding!!” Bill looked round, embarrassed, “Oh no.. s’okay, honestly - we’re fine, thanks.” Shaking his head vigorously, the barman grabbed a couple of cocktail shakers and tossed one of them to his co-worker, “But we must! It will take just a few moments.”
Then there was a flurry of pouring, shaking, ice, fruit and citrus slices being added before a couple of glasses were placed on the bar in front of you with a flourish. You and Billy eyed each other before taking a sip from your drinks. It was pleasant enough - you could taste rum and fruit - but not particularly what you’d’ve chosen for yourself. However, in the same spirit as the drinks were offered, you both made appreciative noises and thanked them profusely, before escaping to a table by the window overlooking Vara de Rey. Sitting down, Billy chuckled, “I guess I better learn to keep my big trap shut!” You agreed, “You’re forgetting that most of the locals speak really good English, so don’t be giving away any more of our secrets!” “What... like the fact you love my dick and think it’s really pretty?” he sniggered, while you slapped his arm, looking round quickly to make sure no-one had heard him.
Seeing no-one within earshot, you leant forward and said, “No... more like you telling me you’re in love with my ‘perfect pussy’ and how you’d be inside me 24/7 if you could be!” He snorted out some of his drink, and the two of you just sat and laughed at each other for a few moments in sheer happiness. “I love you,” he said, serious all of a sudden. “I mean, like really love you.” You smiled at him over the rim of your glass, “Well that’s good, Russo, cos I love you. Like, really love you.” Again, you sat looking at each other with goofy grins on your faces. You caught sight of both barmen looking over at you and smirking so you finished the last of your cocktail, purposefully making a noisy sucking sound through your straw as you did. “Hey, Billy... will we have one more drink and then head back?”
His eyes lit up, “Yeah!!! What d’ya want to drink this time round, angel?” “I’ll just have a mojito, please.” A few minutes later, a luscious mojito-filled glass was placed in front of you, while Billy had decided on a Sidecar, which he polished off in a few quick gulps and then sat looking expectantly at you. Shaking your head and laughing at him, you said, “I won’t be downing my lovely mojito as if it was a beer, Billy. I will be sipping it in a ladylike manner.” His face fell, “Oh.” “You’ll just have to be patient, loverboy.” He perked up a bit, “But if I’m a good patient boy, I’ll get a nice reward when we get back to the villa, yeah?” You patted his silky-haired head, “Yes, you will,” and couldn’t resist tugging on a few locks of it while you were at it. His grin grew devilish, “You wanna tug on something else, angel?” You slid your hand onto his thigh under the table, giving him a very innocent smile, “No, I am not going to lower the tone of this fancy hotel bar by misbehaving, Mr Russo.” His hand covered yours on his thigh and pulled it up onto his zip, “Well, I haveta say I’m very disappointed, Mrs Russo,” before bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing it, putting on his best puppydog eyes and pout.
You had to admit, a frisson of excitement had run through you as he’d done that - Billy had made sure you realised he had an impressive erection. So in fact you picked up your mojito and drained the glass like a sailor who’d just hit a bar after six months at sea. “Okay, Billy,” you smirked, “....you win. Let’s go, tiger.” Billy sprang up from the table and pulled you by the hand towards the door, waving over at the barmen as he went, while you gave them a smile as you passed them.
Then you had to contend with an impatient Billy, pacing up and down at the marina while you were waiting on the water taxi back to Cala Llonga. Eventually it appeared, and Billy hustled you on board, making you sit at the back and beginning to kiss you as he boxed you into the corner seat. More passengers joined soon though and you pushed him back slightly, “Billy.... behave, please. We don’t want to upset any more people with PDA’s.” He grinned, “Okay, okay, I’ll keep my hands and my mouth to myself ... for now.” As the boat began to manoeuvre backwards and away from the quayside, you pointed at the town, “So, what did you think of Ibiza Town then?” Billy nodded, “Yeah, I loved it. It’s beautiful. But y’know, as long as you’re with me.... wherever we are, that’s what I really love.” You poked him in the side, “You big sap!” you laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, “...but you’re my big sap, as they say.”
Those gorgeous dark eyes of his sparkled back at you, and his hand stroked your cheek, “Yeah I am, sweetheart... and that’s the most important thing. It’s all anyone needs to know about us. I’m yours, and you’re mine. And we’re in love. And together. Forever.” You put your lips next to his ear, “Yes, Billy... forever,” you whispered as the little boat carried the two of you away into the gathering dusk.
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Additional A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little journey with Billy and his sweetheart. All I ever wanted for Billy Russo was for him to be happy. Maybe we’ll meet these two again, who knows? Thanks so much for reading.
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@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry
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Thoughts on The Buddie Talk from 502
Other folks have looked at this conversation, but I wanted to get on my bullshit about it too. LOL.
So imho this whole conversation is about love and heart, specifically Eddie’s but with Buck’s heart added in. Line by line analysis and commentary. Let the BS begin. Here we go…
Buck: Hey are you sleeping, or just pretending?
Day and night/light and dark are strong themes throughout the episode. @benka79 did a meta on this theme. I think that by extension, awake vs asleep is meaningful in this scene. In matters of the heart, Eddie is trying to sleep or turn a blind eye, doing what he thinks is best for Chris rather than himself. This is exactly what Carla warned him against. But he knows. He knows that Carla is right but he’s ignoring her and trying to ignore Buck. He’s only pretending to be in the dark about his heart and his desires, at least to a degree.
Eddie: I was actually trying to until you interrupted.
Enter Buck, shaking shit up. Interrupting Eddie’s well-intentioned lie. Eddie knows there’s more than meets the eye and Buck is forcing him to open his eyes, wake up and see what’s really going on and reckon with himself and his true desires.
Buck: I’m exhausted. Uh, how are you feeling?
This line has been rattling around in my brain for what feels like a thousand years. Buck is NOT asleep, he’s not able to turn a blind eye. And being the only one willing to look directly at matters of the heart is wearing him out. Dude’s exhausted! He SEES that something is up with Eddie’s heart and he wants Eddie to tell him all about it.
Eddie: Hot. I’m sweating out of places I didn’t know I could.
During the blackout, AC isn’t working so everyone is sweating. Buck even has a thin layer of sweat in the scene. Sweating from the heat is normal and completely reasonable, but is that what’s being invoked here? We know that sweating is also a symptom of health issues (panic and heart problems not the least among them, and definitely symbolically relevant here). Eddie looks like he’s sweating for normal reasons but in the next line Buck questions that.
Buck: No uh like a cold sweat though, right? Uh, any chest pains?
Again, Buck is wide awake. He KNOWS something is wrong with Eddie’s heart/feelings and that Eddie is hiding it from him. He jumps to cold sweats, the kind that are most connected to health problems and are not about the actual temperature in the room. Then follows up with asking about chest pains. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Buck is paralleled with the cardiologist. She’s about Eddie’s literal heart but Eddie’s figurative heart is in Buck’s hands and Buck’s hands only. And my dude is assertively assessing the situation.
Eddie: You don’t give up, do you? I’m fine, Buck.
Good ol’ Eddie, perfecting his avoidance and denial game. But he knows Buck. He does NOT ever give up and he especially doesn’t give up on the people he loves. Eddie recognized this and thanked Buck for it in 303. Buck didn’t give up on Christopher during the tsunami, or on Eddie in Eddie Begins or in Survivors. But that was about Chris and Eddie’s life. This scene in 502 is new in a way. Buck is refusing to give up on Eddie’s heart, his feelings. Now Buck is fighting for Eddie’s quality of life, for his happiness.
Buck: People who are fine don’t go and see cardiologists. You need to tell me if something is wrong.
Buck was so worried about Eddie in 501. Of course Eddie denied that anything was wrong but Buck isn’t stupid. In 501 he asked about the situation clearly and openly because he cares about Eddie and wants to help in any way he can, and Eddie pushed him away. So here in 502 he implicitly invokes the Will. He’s like fine if you won’t tell me as your friend who gives a shit about you, then tell me for Chris’s sake because thanks to the will, I actually fucking need to know if you’re going to drop dead.
Eddie: Alright, it was a panic attack, not a heart attack. A panic attack.
Eddie’s frustrated confession was solid gold. It laid my edges and raised my credit score. He knows that Buck’s persistence is harmless and comes from a genuine place of respect and care. Still, that doesn’t make it any less annoying for a man who’s trying to sleep, pretending his own heart isn’t breaking under the weight of his sense of duty to his son.
Buck: Since when do you panic?
My God, he knows him so well.
Eddie: That’s what I said. I don’t panic. Except I did.
Eddie accepting that this was absolutely a panic attack was huge. Before he had been pushing against the reality of it, but here in Buck’s loving care he could be honest with himself and with Buck that it was indeed panic.
Buck: Ok, well, what triggered it? I mean you did just get shot and almost killed by a sniper. I guess that could be considered an anxiety inducing-
Buck’s in full “cardiologist” mode. He’s paying forward all those years of therapy! What he’s doing here isn’t a replacement for my dude getting some real therapy but here’s Buck with his clipboard efficiently helping Eddie figure his emotional shit out. It’s perfection. It’s also good that he acknowledged the shooting. I think it’s super important that when Buck mentions it, he looks down and away from Eddie.
Buck, my dude, you are not over being covered in the blood of the love of your life. You can still feel his weight in your hands, muscle memory from lifting him above the spray of gasoline and bullets. Eddie may still be asleep on that front but, Buck, you are wide awake and exhausted by the heavy love you’re carrying.
Eddie: That wasn’t it. Ok, if I’m being honest with myself, I think it was Ana.
Oh this is fun. So you are capable of being real, you just choose not to be. Good to know.
Buck: Uh, I thought things were great with her.
Stop. Lying. You saw Eddie get squirrely when talking about the Christening. You saw Eddie get awkward af when A*a and Christopher came to the firehouse. You’ve seen these issues with your own eyeballs. Great? Really? Yeah, this just makes me think muh boy is oblivious and/or he really was expecting Eddie to come clean about issues related to the shooting, not his love life. This reiterates my point that Buck himself is not nearly done with processing the shooting.
Eddie: She’s been a godsend through all this - staying with Christopher - but I think that’s what’s causing the panic. Somehow it become a ready-made family and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
This portion of the conversation has been analyzed to bits by many brilliant others. I don’t have anything to add. I’m like, look dude, you already have a family with Buck and Christopher. A*a’s effin’ up your happy healthy family flow. It’s ok, just turn her loose.
Buck: So what are you gonna do?
Buck’s wisdom grows every frickin’ day. He knows this isn’t sustainable for Eddie. He knows that the heart matters. He knows that feelings are real and help us navigate toward a happy life. Action is needed and he’s nudging Eddie in that direction.
Eddie: I think I’m just gonna stick it out. Ana’s been the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon.
Oh dear, Eddie’s overblown sense of duty to everyone but himself strikes again. He can…tolerate… A*a. How romantic!
Buck: Stick it out? That’s not the way you talk about someone you’re in love with.
Um, no. Buck calls shenanigans. He’s not A*a’s bestie but he doesn’t feel any desire whatsoever to have her condemned to a loveless relationship.
Eddie: My kid loves her!
Always putting Christopher first but not realizing that if he isn’t truly happy, Christopher will know because he’s perceptive af. Plus the two haven’t discussed A*a on screen so I’m not convinced Chris loves her as much as Eddie wants to believe.
Buck: Is that enough? Eddie I have been Ana. I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who is not all the way in. Deep down you know it and it hurts. It hurts worse than the truth, so if you don’t want to hurt Ana, you owe it to her to be honest.
Buck is doing A LOT of work here to help Eddie see that his plan of inaction is not good. He centers Eddie asking him if staying for Chris is enough. When that doesn’t work, he realizes that Eddie doesn’t care about his own heart enough to leave so he changes strategies and puts himself in A*a’s place to invoke some empathy for A*a from Eddie. It’s super…interesting that Eddie doesn’t care enough for A*a to come to this conclusion on his own!!
Eddie: You know it just feels like a lot man.
Why, my dude?? Explain. Could it be that A*a is serving a purpose beyond Chris? Could it be that staying with her helps you avoid, allows you to pretend and be oblivious to deeper truths within your battered but still beating heart? Does she obscure the Buck shaped hole in your ticker?
Buck: Well, go to sleep. You don’t need to decide right now. It’s not like we’re going home anytime soon.
Buck is disappointed, exhausted, and frustrated and it has my dude slinging shade like morning hash. He’s like fine turn a blind eye, ignore your heart it’s cool *all the sarcasm* Then we get the reference to home and the fact that the two of them are far from it at this point and we all know how important home is as a Buddie theme. I wrote a little about it here.
Bonus: Eddie closed his eyes after Buck walked away, the he OPENED them again. He fully saw what Buck was saying. He can’t avoid the truth of his heart for much longer.
Y’all this has GOT to be the season that one or both of these idiots realize their feelings. Excuse me while I end.
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