#listen i have a LOT of ugly art that just never sees the light of day i know i know you dont believe me but TRUST ME BRO

[noctivague]

PAC: What do you bring to the world?

Today I wanted to make an uplifting personality reading focusing on the positive things you personally bring to the world as well as your strengths and qualities.

I will also finish with an advice on how to share it or share it better with the world, depending on the pile.

Note: I always write down the cards I draw. a "+" indicates that these cards go together; a "/" shows as change of row/question.

Focus on the 4 pictures, pick the one that draws you in the most and go to your pile. It's possible that more than one pile resonates. This is a general reading meant for multiple people so not everything will resonates.

Always open to feedback :)

PILE 1

Cards: The Shadow + the Temple + 9 of Pentacles / The Great Goddess + Truth + Acceptance / Navigating by the Stars: Follow your bliss + Growing Pains

You are someone with a great understanding of the shadowier aspects of the mind, which doesn't only stop to an understanding of your own, but extend to the human psyche as well. You are not only in-tune with what most people don't want to see or accept, which requires courage and resilience, but you are also able to make flowers blossom from the dirt, so to speak.

You are in tune with your inner voice and live in abundance of all the lessons you've learned on your path. I see all these events you've been through and all the effort you've put into learning from them and growing as a human. They are like little pockets of truth you've collected throughout the years, little nuggets of gold that make your soul rich.

You anchor that into reality, making a temple out of what you've learned through pain about yourself and the world, and draw a lot of strength that others can feel without even knowing your past.

It's like, by going through your own personal hell, you've managed to shine bright and light up those around you.

Perhaps some of you are advisors or speaker of some kind who actively help others, and for some of you, it shows up in conversations with people you meet.

And your strengths and qualities reflect that! You are someone who is able to transcend whatever struggle they are going through in order to find some type of divine beauty from it. You can see both good and evil in yourself and in what is around you, and you can see the importance of both ends of the spectrum, letting yourself dance with those cycles and finding harmony in what most see as only chaos.

You also didn't let your heart close from what you've endured and instead gained a lot of empathy for other people's suffering.

You are also someone to whom authenticity is not only important, but a major part of their personality. You despise lying to yourself. Not saying that never happens, but you always end up correcting the trajectory at some point. You have strong core values that you've spent a long time modeling like a beautiful and ever changing work of art, born from your own work. You honor this quality in yourself and you encourage it in others.

You also embody the quality of acceptance. You know being in touch with your shadow means you're going to find things that are ugly, scary or violent, and you've learnt to see that without judging it. You are able to accept and release whatever comes to the surface, surrendering to the flow of life. As a result you are not someone who judges people harshly for their humanly flaws. Again not saying you don't condemn anyone ever, but you understand the shortcomings and the shortsightedness everyone has to deal with, because you went through it so many times yourself.

And as to what you can do to share that better with the world, well, first I feel like most of you are already doing that by just existing, but the advice I got was to listen to your spiritual guidance, whatever that means to you. There is this idea that you are guided on your path and that, perhaps, it is time to not simply look under, but look above. Trust that your effort are seen and that you will be shown the way to make your qualities of use for others beyond what is already happening.

The last card I drew says to keep walking on that self-healing path you are on, which is a life-long process as there are always layers and layers to dig and dig through. And by that I mean that you can go way beyond yourself, into the generational, the mythical. And I think that's the main takeaway. You are a Healer of Yourself, and by doing that, you're also healing others.

I'm still getting that some of you will be able sooner or later to share that wisdom in a more tangible way, perhaps as a writer or a counselor, a speaker or a carer, but, again, you don't need a specific job or activity to share your gifts because they radiate from you and can be received by the people in you touch in your daily life.

That it's for Pile 1! I just wanted to say that your energy is awesome and I feel very touched!! I wish you good luck on your path and I'm sending you a lot of love.

PILE 2

Cards: The Medallion + The Hunter + Ace of Wands / The Mystic + Spirit of the Tree + Magic / The One + The Shaman + Rebirth

As for what you embody in what you bring to the world, I see you someone who heavily involved with magic and/or the spiritual realms. Like, heads up but, I'm actually a bit floored because it is powerful but I'm not surprised knowing the type of people who follow me.

So yeah, the magical and the spiritual. But more precisely, you are upholding traditions from the past, working with something you've inherited (not necessarily by blood although it may be the case for some of you) from those who came before you. By practicing and taking action with these practices, you are keeping them alive, honoring them, and even perhaps working on transmitting them to those who will follow.

I see you one some type of mission (in an humble way) as in, you're focused on your path and moving fast toward that shining light you sense in the distance, like a glowing target that pushes you forward whether you are fully aware of what it is exactly or not. You are answering some type of call.

As for your strengths and qualities, you are someone who is really in tune with your dreams, and beyond that, the other realms. You feel the pulsation of both life and death in all things, can read the signs the world sends you, and can peek behind the veil. You may be a mystic, a seer, or a medium, or have strong affinities for this.

You are also no stranger to the mysteries of Nature and are able to gather knowledge from what is so different and alien from you. Again there is an idea of ancient wisdom that you are tapping into powerfully. It comes naturally to you because it's part of who you are. You are able to step back from the noise of the modern world to touch the wisdom that lies beneath the busy surface of the world. Most people don't even know it's here, but it is, and you see it.

Again, there is this idea that you see beyond human knowledge, and you are able to remember it because somehow, you understand that, and even though it is strange and alien, it's part of us, too.

You are also able to cultivate your own magic. You understand that you can't just receive without doing the work on yourself and cultivating your own power. You are not an empty vessel but a being full of stars in your own right. I have this image of someone who one day opened their eyes and saw the sunrise seemingly for the first time. As if those eyes themselves where born anew. You are able to dance between earth and the sky, embracing transformation and initiation.

As for the advice you received on sharing your strengths with the world, I was sort of expecting it but it's not so much about really sharing your knowledge with the world rather than being your own individual on your path and doing the things that are required by it. Idk if that makes sense it's quite abstract to understand so bear with me.

I got the Shaman. As you probably know it's a word that is mostly wrongly used and that can mean a bunch of things, like healer, sorcerer, oracle, warden of Nature, medium, spiritual advisor or religious leader. What I'm getting is that it's going to vary for all of you depending on the path you are on, but one thing is for sure, you are a very important link between the other-world and the human world and you can serve your community.

Perhaps because you can/will/are meant to embrace one of the roles I just mentioned, or because you are doing some type of work for the other-realms, again it will vary greatly depending on the person.

There is an inherent loneliness to this path. You may feel othered, marginalized, even crazy at times, because you exist in some type of hazy in-between, with one foot in our world and one foot in the Other.

The advice is to learn to accept and lean into that, and understand that you are not as alone as you think you are, even to your fellow humans.

We are all one, in some way. Made of so many buried facets, so many fallen stars. What you are experiencing is present in all of us, you are just able to anchor it in this world, which is not only important in and of itself, but also helps people around you help themselves, is what I'm getting.

As a final advice, because I felt like drawing one last card, I got Rebirth.

I'm going to keep this super open because this pile is made of various people, but there is something that needs to be reborn within you. Some type of transformation you need to go through to go further. You will need to leave something behind. Know that what you are right now is meant to shed and change because there is so much more to learn. Lean into what you know to see the next step, but be open to the unknown and its gifts.

That's it for this reading, very different from Pile 1 but I'm equally floored and a bit spooked because it was super powerful! Thank you for reading me, I hope this was useful to you and I send you a lot of love and wish you good luck on your journey!

PILE 3

Cards: 4 of Swords Rx + 10 of Pentacles + The Pilgrim + The Castle + The Threshold / 5 of Cups Rx + 8 of Wands Rx + Space, Time and Self + The Gifted Guide / Overwhelmed + Sorrow + the Moon (oracle) + Queen of Swords + 7 of Pentacles + The Forbidden Forest Rx

Driven is the most important word I'm getting from this reading.

It seems you are a builder and a pioneer of sorts, someone with the power to materialize your goals into the material plane, with the potential to establish long term material wealth and stable structures in the world. I'm also getting the word legacy, it's something that's important to you and you wish to accomplish in this lifetime. You might be an entrepreneur of some sorts or work in an area of Sciences, so legacy could be either about a business or wealth or advancing human knowledge in some way shape or form.

You don't sit around and wait, your are someone who don't remain stagnant but is always rising above and beyond to work towards your goals. You understand that your goals won't materialize without effort and you are committed to the task.

The way you go about life is focused on outside achievements, but that's the way you grow inside as well. The world is your laboratory where you explore ideas and see what can be birthed into the world.

You are someone who is not afraid to step into the unknown, to go towards uncharted territory, where others don't dare to go. It may seem like a lonely path for some, but for you, it is immensely fulfilling and is how you free yourself. You have your eyes set on the top of the mountain and nothing will stop you from reaching it.

You have no regard for the concept of fate and wish to keep your destiny into your own hands.

Your strengths and qualities are that you are aware of your faults and failures, of what you've lost in the past, and have learnt that no matter the setbacks, a new opportunity or idea can always arise and you can learn from your mistakes. You are full of energy and desire to move forward in a sort of restless way. It's like your burning with the energy of your will and the only way to master that fire is to remain as active as possible. Where others would have given up, you keep pushing, even if it hurts.

There is a strong message about knowing you are guided but not in a spiritual sense, and for two reasons:

One, you have trust in your own instinct and are guided by your interests and what pulls you in. You go with the flow and are able to follow effortlessly the dance of the cosmos, flowing from one cycle to the next, understanding that sometimes things can take more or less time (the idea of timing to be respected), or that you can zoom in and out your perspective on things (sometimes you need to see the big picture but sometimes you need to look into the details).

Second, you also understand the parts of unknown of your path, you don't feel like you need everything figured out and have trust that things will unveil when they need to. You listen to your environment and see patterns in the chaos that remain invisible to others and that's what guide your steps.

The advice on how to bring that more effectively into the world is pointing back to the reversed 5 of Cups and 8 of Wands, with Overwhelmed and Sorrow. It's very interesting because your strengths and quality are also sometimes reverted and things you struggle with, which is normal since we all have bad days and the very things that makes us ourselves can be our most violent pains.

In your low points, you have a tendency to bottle up your feelings, so focused that you are on your tasks, you ignore them until they spill. You don't really know how to handle your emotions and wait until they explode in your face to confront and feel them. It leaves you feeling lost and frustrated.

You have a highly individualistic mindset, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but in excess it makes you too tyrannical toward yourself. You may feel alone against the world at times, a lone star in a black sky, because you are so cut off from receptivity and external guidance.

Don't discard the parts of you that feel alien and strange as they have much to teach you. It's okay to stop for a moment on your path, you don't have to rush all the time. You need to be patient with your goals, like a gardener watching them grow in their own time. You can't go against the rhythms of Nature and the Universe, some things take time, and that include respecting your own rhythms.

You need to learn to set up boundaries within yourself. It can be hard to feel when you're going overboard so you need to carve out some time to deal with your inner struggles and let yourself time to rest. Perhaps these low points have a lot to do with exhaustion and lack of mental and emotional space, so be mindful of that and keep some time for nurturing yourself, not just your goals.

That's it for Pile 3! I hope this was useful to you and brought you interesting messages. I wish you good luck on your path.

PILE 4

Cards: The Orphan + The Animal + 3 of Swords Rx + Ace of Wands Rx + Bottled Up + Gloom / The Mirror + Energy + Space, Time and Self + Dark Night of the Soul / 9 of Pentacles Rx + The Empress + Gratitude + Let Go + Yin and Yang + Truth

You are someone who came into this world full of childlike wonder but something broke, making you carry a deep wound. May be mental or physical trauma, an accident or a disability. As a result, you gained a ferocious thirst for life, a wild energy, similar to the primal instinct of survival. It was either giving up or pushing through, life or death.

It seems your ability to act in this world got restrained and that you had to learn your way around that. Like your potential was bottled up which made you think that all was over. Complete loss of hope. You felt cut off from the world, cut off from life and society. Rendered unable to connect with the bustling world. It seemed like it wasn't a choice you wanted to make but had to.

When I started drawing your cards for strengths and qualities, I felt an immense wave of fatigue washing over me, and one of the cards I drew was about calling back your energy. So I think you are very well aware of your limitations and you had to learn to live with that, manage your limited resources to make something blossom regardless. If you're not already aware of it, it's something you're currently learning.

I feel called to describe the energy card to you: a woman is sitting in a back full of stars, from her left palm flow a stream of water filled with stars with a flower blossoming from it and her whole body. I really think that whatever you went through and are still dealing with, despite limiting you in some ways, cannot stop you from bringing something beautiful to the world. It will feed from your very pains, like flowers feeding off dirt. There is so much potential for Life and growth.

Also, you had to learn to reflect on yourself a lot and that brought you a admirable understanding of the human nature, a precious wisdom that could not have been yours had you not have the life you had. It sucks to write because fuck that, I'm angry with you and I don't get why it has to be that way sometimes for some people, but it's true. I'm also getting that some of you are writers or have a great ability to spell out your thoughts. Really, this wisdom you gained through pain gave you a greater understanding of life, one that most people cannot touch, and that can be a great treasure to share with the world.

You have a strong ability to bring a deeper understanding of the human experience to others, transcending the mundane to allow them to touch what is meaningful and precious about life, understanding themselves and the world more. From the simple moments to the greatest revenge taken against fate.

By experiencing extreme loss, you found hope and a desire to survive and overcome, and are able to share it with others. This card also has a book in it so idk if you're a writer or not but you should definitely consider it if that's not the case. I think you have a lot to share with the world which could help others. Your words are worthier than gold, because you know how hard it is to face monstrous events but you know that it's worth pushing through. We all face difficult times in our lives, some more than others, but it's not about who suffered the most, and you understand that. You can really make a difference, pile 4. Light the way for others with your words.

The advice cards are really beautiful and supporting.

I see you being encouraged to learn to find balance within yourself and aiming for success and abundance. Because you can and you will be able to bring gifts to this world. You heart is a fertile soil, and it is so strong. From dead matters, pain and wastes, we can sow seeds and harvest golden crops, feeding many. You can embody that.

Really, you can be a beacon of light to other, crowned in stars, adorned with roses. You need to let yourself hope a little further. Don't settle for the bare minimum, let go of your regrets and pessimistic mindset. You have so much to offer. Find beauty, love and pleasure in your everyday life. It might only be in some specific moments but it is still so important and will help you live with more ease. Find bliss hiding between the folds of time.

You also got a strong message about gratitude. It can be easy to look down on this word, thinking it's a way to keep yourself in your enclosure and not thrive for more, but in reality, it's very empowering. By being grateful for your gifts, you are actually recognizing them, learning to trust and value them, which will in turn give you the confidence to share it with the world. The wise know that there is so much power and grace in having a grateful mindset, it doesn't stop you in your tracks, on the contrary, it calls even more blessings in.

You hold both life and death, pain and pleasure, despair and hope within yourself. It's time to embrace it and learn that life is not one or the other but a balance of both. You have been tilting over one side too much and it's time to rectify the scale. The advice is to find power in an unexpected place within you. Something you have overlooked. Something that feels uncomfortable. Ask yourself what you are resisting. You will find great creative energy as a result of that inner work. It will bring you growth.

The final card is called Truth and is also connected to the Empress, which you got earlier. The words on the card are: " That which is true will always be enough". You had to learn some truth the hard way, don't discard it because you are afraid or in pain. Hold it tight. Honor your truth. Again you get a message of gratitude and abundance. You are on a path to wisdom and you will gain a lot from it. By liberating yourself, you will also free others. Don't be scared to share what you've learnt and will learn with integrity. You soul is so beautiful.

That's it for pile 4. I hope it was an useful reading. It definitely was insightful for me. I wish you good luck on your path and I give you a big hug!!

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #pac #pick a picture

[runawaymun]

Trick or treat! What about a line or two from something that'll likely never see the light of day from the WIP folder?

Ohhhh this is a fun question!

Ok so with @the-commonplace-book's permission, I shall share quite a few chunks of a little story we wrote together for fun, mostly just to take a break from some of our more serious joint projects, which is the MGME trope, but make it a couple of kids and their shitty parents -- who are some longstanding OCs which have been knocking about for years from a different, really cool project that she's working on. Mostly this whole thing began with, "what if Torin and Finley met Elrond and he could maybe dad them a bit? Wouldn't that be fun?"

The first section includes Glorfindel rescuing the parents from some Trolls (classic) after they fall into Middle Earth, and then I'll just select chunks at random. We wound up dropping it because we got to a point where we got bored, but it was a really good time while it lasted and spawned a totally different (but similar) idea which we poke at every once in a while.

This could get quite long :D

-

Neil and Deidre had been bickering so loudly and incessantly, that they hadn’t heard the thud! thud! thud! approaching until it was just behind them. They spun around just in time to see an enormous grey monster reaching for them. 

They scrambled to escape, but it had them in their clutches - one in each giant hand. It was as rank as it was ugly, and no matter how much they squirmed and screamed, it wouldn’t let them go.

It carried them a ways through the woods, to a camp just outside a cave, where another giant grey creature sat tending a fire proportionate to their size. They began to chat.

If they had spoken the local tongue they might have understood the conversation as:

“What do you have there, Art?” 

“Oh just some tasty morsels for tonight’s stew! Caught them scrambling about the edge of the moor, I did.”

“That one’s got a good bit of fat on him.” The second troll said, poking Deirdre with a thick grimy finger. 

Art yanked her back, sending Deirdre screeching anew. “Hands to yourself, Wildo. I found them. I’m cooking them up.”

“There’s plenty to share! With that one at least.”

“This one’s mine. You can have the skinny one.” He tossed Neil to Wildo, who fumbled the catch, much to Neil’s increasing distress.

Of course, Neil and Deirdre Brady couldn’t speak this language, and so they were left in a fright, with monstrous creatures tossing them about and speaking utter nonsense. Perhaps it was for the best. No one, of course, wants to know that they are about to be roasted alive for lunch.

-

Trolls were nothing to sniff at.

They raised such a horrid stink.

Glorfindel had been waiting just at the edge of the cave this lot was living in, having been drawn by the orange glow this side of the hill. A glow that bright in the middle of the night in the Trollshaws only meant one thing. And these trolls were too close to the main road not to be a nuisance to travelers. 

He’d been waiting because he had only counted one troll at the fire and they generally never lived alone if they could help it. It would be better to bag them both at once.

He was handsomely rewarded when the troll’s companion returned with dinner. 

A very loud dinner.

The screeching was warranted, but hard to listen to. Glorfindel winced. No time to waste!

He left Asfaloth where he was –there was no sense risking him with the trolls– and strode into the ring of light, Aurë flashing in his hands, and called out jovially:

“Ho, my friends! What a nice catch you have!” 

Both trolls froze and turned to look at the intruder. 

Glorfindel gave Aurë a whirl and then gripped the hilt with both hands. “Mind if I join you for dinner?” 

Before either Art or Wildo could decide how to react (trolls were, of course, rather slow creatures), Glorfindel raised his voice in a battle Song which forced both to drop their prizes and clutch their ears in horror. He sprinted toward them, Singing, and cut Art down with one long slice to his belly. Wildo recovered quicker, and grabbed the wicked-looking knife from his belt– which was about the size of Aurë– and waved it wildly in Glorfindel’s direction with a terrified shout.

Glorfindel neatly sidestepped each cut, parried, and then stabbed Wildo straight in the knee.

The troll howled in pain and sank to his knees. Glorfindel took the opportunity to plunge Aurë straight into the beast’s eye, right up to the hilt.

It took a bit of a yank to get the sword out again, which was tiresome. He had to put a boot to the creature’s skull to get enough leverage.

Panting, he cleaned Aurë and sheathed it, then turned and held out a gloved hand, glowing with golden light, to the woman first. 

“Right. I hope you are not terribly hurt. Nasty things, trolls.” 

-

(and later, the twins find the two boys in the forest and, after discovering that they speak no recognizable language, bring them to Rivendell to see if Elrond can figure out how to communicate with them)

The twins led the boys up to the house. It was buzzing with activity this time of day, elves going to-and-from the healing halls or the kitchen, some Dunedain guests milling about. They passed a group of hunters heading out for the diurnal prey that would be out soon. 

Elrohir would have liked to get the boys another meal before doing anything else, but it was best to figure out what language they were speaking first. They climbed the stairs to the second floor, then went out to the garden and passed Lindir, who greeted them with a bow.

“Ada’s in his study?” Elladan asked.

Lindir nodded. “I have just come from there.” His eyes fell to the boys with curiosity, and then flicked back up to the twins. 

“Uh…we’ll explain later. We really have to talk to him,” Elladan said again, and said goodbye and continued on past the courtyard to knock on the door to his father’s study and then went inside.

Elrond was indeed there, bent over some letters with Erestor at his side. Both of them looked over and Elrond straightened. He probably meant inquire after the hunt, but paused at once when he saw the boys.

Before the inevitable could be asked, Elrohir cut in: “We found them at the edge of the trollshaws alone and lost. No sign of any adults. Um– and I have no idea what language they’re speaking.”

“He tried everything,” Elladan added. “They don’t speak common. Elrohir even tried Khuzdul and Haradi but they recognized nothing.” 

Elrond held up a hand to still them both and slowly came over. The boys had dark hair and light eyes. If he didn’t know any better, he would think they were Elros’ kin. But if what Elladan and Elrohir said was true, then he couldn’t imagine how that could be. 

“The trollshaws?” From behind him, Erestor was incredulous. “What were they doing in the trollshaws? That is a long way from any Mannish settlement in the area.” 

“I imagine we shall find out if we talk to them,” Elrond said evenly. He wished to hear them speak, if only to take a stab at a language root. He sank down to their level (his height was hard to handle for some grown men, let alone two children), and then put a hand to his chest and introduced, “Elrond.” And gestured to the eldest. 

Torin kept his feet firmly planted on the floor, despite the way this man’s presence made him want to cower. He was tall - taller than any man Torin had ever met. His grey eyes looked old beyond his years and when he knelt to Finley’s level with those careful, gentle motions and that disarming tone, a profound sense of unease and acute distrust churned in Torin’s gut.

“Torin. We’re just looking for a phone.” He held his hand to his ear, fingers extended to pantomime it, and searched the man’s face for any sign of understanding. “Phone? Cell? Ring ring?”

Finley shrunk behind his brother. 

Elrond cocked his head. The gesture was completely unfamiliar. The language…he supposed he didn’t have enough information to discern a root, though if he had to guess it might be Rohirric in nature. 

The three questions in quick succession were clearly an attempt at some sort of clarification. Synonyms. But unfortunately he hadn’t the faintest idea of what any of it meant.

He glanced up at the twins, who looked baffled, and then sat back on his haunches and decided on: “Well met, Torin. I am afraid I don’t know how to help you,” because regardless of whether or not they understood each other, he was still going to give him the respect of speaking to him. “But I promise I will do my best to find how.” 

“You don’t know what they’re speaking?” Elladan was astounded.

“Unfortunately I do not. It is a puzzle,” Elrond replied back. 

The only thing Torin understood out of all that was his name. It was swiftly become clear they either had no idea what a phone was, or simply didn’t have any here and were trying to explain that. 

“Fuck,” he said, guessing that was as gibberish to them as anything else in English. If he hadn’t left his damn phone charging in his room they wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Okay, uh, Plan B,” he said, not even bothering to whisper. They couldn’t understand what he was saying to his brother anyway. “We’re gonna get some more food and figure out where the hell we are, and then figure out the real Plan B.”

Finley nodded mutely.

Torin took out the little wrapped bread from earlier and held it up, pointing to it. “Food?” 

At that, Elrond lit up into a warm smile. It was an easily understood question.

“That was going to be my next suggestion, in fact. Food,” he repeated the unfamiliar word. “Yes.” 

The letters were entirely forgotten with his attention entirely diverted onto this new puzzle. Erestor let out a long-suffering sigh and gathered them up into a neat stack. Elrond stood and started for the door beckoning. 

“I’ll go get them something,” Elladan said, heading down to the kitchen. “Terrace?”

Elrond hummed in assent, and started up the walkway to the third floor, Elrohir following behind. 

-

Elrond led them back downstairs, all the way to the first floor of the library. He waved to Iûldis as they passed her desk on their way in. She paid him a polite nod of her head. Elrond led them through the rows of books until they came to the selection of maps. He took one down and rolled it out on the nearest table large enough to accommodate it, took a moment to orient himself, and then pointed to Rivendell.

“We’re here. Rivendell.” He then traced over the mountains to: “Dale,” then downward, “Rohan,” further south. “Gondor. Minas Tirith.” And finally, back over the mountains, being sure to trace slowly all the way west. “Bree.” Then, “Ered Luin.” 

Torin may not have been a geography whiz, but he knew a map of world and knew this sure as hell wasn’t it. 

“Are you fucking joking?” Torin shook his head. “You don’t even have a real map. That’s grand. Fantastic. Fuck!” He grabbed the map and threw it off the table like the useless piece of garbage it was.

Finley flinched and shrunk back, worrying at his sleeves, stiff with shoulder hunched up to his ears. 

Torin pointed an angry finger at Elrond. “Tell us where the hell we are!”

“Riv–” Finley tried to say Rivendell. He’d picked up that much. Not that he knew where or what Rivendell was, but it was where they were. The word couldn’t form. It tangled up in his mouth. “Ri–”  Rivendell. Rivendell. Rivendell. It was right there caught in his throat behind a lump of anxiety.

Elrond took the outburst in stride. He watched the map drift to the floor, and then returned his attention to Torin.  Iûldis had crept over at the commotion and was leaning around to glare at them all disapprovingly from around the bookcase. He shot her an apologetic smile and bent to retrieve the map. Thankfully, it was not damaged.

He rolled it up and reshelved it.

“Rivendell,” he repeated, because the question was clear and Torin’s little brother’s answer was also predictable. “That is where you are. And if you dislike the map we can look at others, but I am not sure if they will be of any use to you.”

He had begun to radiate a gentle flow of calm through the floor, if only because he could feel how fast the little one’s heartbeat was. It also may help keep the surrounding books intact. 

Torin couldn’t pinpoint how, but he got the sense Elrond was trying to calm him down and that only put him further on edge. “ Ireland. Europe. British Isles. Dublin. Any of that mean anything to you?!” 

He couldn’t tell if this was an elaborate act of if they really were that disconnected from society. For concerning recent events, the cosmic phenomenon they experienced yesterday had nothing on the presence of these pointy-eared bastards.

-

Elladan and Elrohir decided to go upstairs and get some sleep. They had slept little on their hunt, especially the night before, and it was beginning to catch up with them. On their way in, though, they stopped to check on the boys. 

“Torin screamed at Ada,” Elladan muttered with a laugh. “Everyone’s talking about it.”

Elrohir’s eyes grew wide. “He’s lucky Erestor wasn’t there. He would have put him over his knee. Ai, I can still remember the first and last time I ever did that.” 

Erestor had never done anything of the sort, of course, but the scathing disapproval had hurt just as much. He’d been in the room at the time. Ada had simply taken it in stride, asked him if he was finished, and then sent him to study a corner of the nursery for three hours. The boredom had been another kind of pain.

-

(Glorfindel arrives with Neil and Deidre, and they go to "reunite" with the boys but uhhhhh it does not go well... partially due to the language barrier but also due to the shitty family dynamic which the elves have no way of knowing about)

Celebrían led the boys upstairs. Elrond and Glorfindel came in before they could make it all the way to the terrace, meeting them in the hall. They had to sorely bedraggled adults with them who, Celebrían guessed, looked quite a lot like both boys. 

“Glorfindel! It’s good to see you back!” she shot him a bright smile.

Glorfindel’s smile that he gave her in return was radiant as ever. “It’s good to be back.” 

Torin froze. His body went stiff and he planted his feet. No. No, no no.

There were their parents, tired, with muddy clothes and tired eyes. Relief washed over their faces at the sight of him, but Torin didn’t share the sentiment. He knew it was a lie.

“Torin!” His mum went to hug him and he shrugged her off. His dad placed a hand on his shoulder and he stiffened. 

“We’ve been looking for you for over a day. We were worried sick.” 

“Yeah I’ll bet you were,” Torin grumbled. 

“Where’s your brother?” The concern carried a nearly imperceptible edge.

Torin looked to his side. Finley was gone. Fuck. His eyes turned to his dad’s with a sharp glare. “What do you care?”

Neil sighed, like dealing with a petulant child, and tried to ask after Finley. “The smaller one? Finley?” He indicated the height, hoping one of the strangers (and they truly were strange) could help.

No one knew what to make of the strange encounter. This was not how they had expected it to go. Torin did not look glad to see his parents. Elrond began to wonder if it had not been an accident that they had been separated. 

So focused were they all on the conversation that it came as a terrible surprise when Torin’s father (whom Glorfindel had introduced as Neil) asked about Finley. Before Elrond could register what he meant, Celebrían frowned, looking around. 

“He was just here–”

Ah. Finley was the little one. And he had gone missing in a matter of seconds. Elrond’s heart jumped. He craned his neck. Sure enough, Finley was nowhere in sight.

He shot Neil an apologetic smile and said, “I will look for him. Celebrían, could you have Lindir make up a room?” 

A little shaken, Celebrían nodded. She couldn’t imagine how Finley had been so quiet, nor so quick, that no one had noticed him disappear. 

Elrond set off. Glorfindel took it upon himself to introduce: “Lady Celebrían, this is Neil, and his fucking cunt Deidre.” He said it cheerily, gesturing between the two of them, looking very proud of himself for picking up on the word for spouse from all of their bickering. 

Celebrían shot them a smile and touched her hand to her chest and inclined her head. “Well met. Celebrían,” she introduced herself. 

Deirdre, however, squawked in offense and, before Neil could stop her, slapped Glorfindel. “How dare you!” 

“Deirdre!” He reached her a moment too late. 

“You heard what he called me!” 

“You really think he knows what that means?”

“Well– Well then it’s your fault! He must have picked it up from you!”

Meanwhile, Torin burst into laughter the moment Glorfindel said it. “No, no.” He gave a thumbs up to Glorfindel and pointed to his mum, still laughing. “His fucking cunt.”

“WIFE! I’m his wife!” Deirdre screeched. 

“Torin.” Neil shot him a warning glare, but then those eyes flicked around their company. 

Torin, knowing his dad couldn’t do shit in public, just shrugged and gave him a shit-eating grin. “You said it first.”

Glorfindel was so surprised by this entire thing that he froze. Celebrían’s eyebrows rose. She put her hands on her hips, ready to lash out at Deidre despite her being a guest because they most certainly did not allow anyone to strike anyone in her house– but at Torin’s reaction and Deidre’s apparently correction, the situation became clear.

“Glorfindel– I think that doesn’t mean what you think it means,” she said slowly.

Glorfindel looked between Torin, Celebrían, Neil, and Deidre. “He called her that the whole time!” 

“Maybe they don’t get along as well as you thought,”  Celebrían said with a thin, albeit amused, smile. 

Glorfindel blushed and ducked his head in Deidre’s direction. “I misunderstood. My deepest apologies.” 

Deirdre huffed, but accepted what she hoped was an apology. “Does anyone here speak English?” she demanded. 

“Nope,” Torin said. “No English. No phones. No maps. We’re fucking stranded with these weirdos in this godforsaken larping compound.”

-

(one last little snippet here, after Finley bolts to get away from his parents, Elrond goes off to find him).

Elrond set off from the group. When he turned the corner in the hall, he stopped, shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and blocked everything out to attune to the floor beneath his feet. 

Sure enough, it was faint, but there was a tiny heartbeat some distance away, racing at breakneck speed. 

He followed it down to the second floor, past the rows and rows of guest rooms, hardly saying hello to anyone as he passed them. It grew stronger and stronger until he came to his study. The corners of his mouth twitched. Silently, he slipped in and padded over. The source of the heartbeat came from behind his desk. 

If Finley’s first reaction upon seeing his parents was to hide, that was a bad sign. Torin had, really, reacted no better. Elrond was in no hurry to return Finley to them at present. More than likely it was only out of anxiety that they would be angry with him for running off, or getting lost, or any number of things. But this was such a strong reaction that Elrond worried it might be something more than that.

He sank down to the floor to sit on the other side of his desk, resting his back against it and reclining. 

“Finley, is it?” 

He was glad that he finally knew the little one’s name. He kept his voice soft, hardly above a whisper, and began to radiate a gentle pool of calm, hoping that Finley might come out on his own. 

Finley wasn’t sure how he got here, or where here even was. His arms wrapped around his knees, squeezing so, so tight; he felt he might crumble into a million little pieces if he let go. He couldn’t stop shaking, his head was spinning, his chest wound tight, and he could barely breathe. 

I shouldn’t have run. I shouldn’t have run. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry. 

The words filled his thoughts to the brim like swelling pressure against a frail dam. The door opened. His whimpers silenced and he pressed against the corner of the wood. 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Go away. Please go away. Please don’t–

The footsteps stopped on the other side of the wood. A pause, then a voice. That wasn’t his dad. He felt like he should know who it was, but couldn’t remember through the screaming mess in his head. Whoever it was, he had a gentle voice. Finley felt the air come back into his lungs. Tears sprung from his eyes. 

He opened his mouth, but not words would come out. They all tangled up in his clenching chest.

It was quiet for a long time, save only for the sound of Finley’s still-racing heart, his sniffling, and the little sounds of distress he was making every so often. Panic. Elrond’s chest twisted. He briefly considered going to fetch Torin, but that might mean alerting Finley’s parents that he had been found. He had no intention of doing so until Finley was calm and they had a chance to…

…what, talk? They couldn’t. Elrond bit the inside of his cheek, frustrated. He squashed the feeling as soon as it rose before it could bleed out of him.

Finley neither spoke nor came out from under the desk, though his heart did slow somewhat. Elrond fished out a handkerchief from his pocket and carefully reached behind him to set it at the corner of the desk, within reach without forcing Finley to come out before he was ready.

After another long stretch, an idea occurred to him. It was risky– especially in the state Finley was in– but there was a chance they might be able to communicate.

Tentatively, with the upmost care to be gentle, Elrond reached out and brushed Finley’s whirring, anxious mind with his own. 

‘I am not here to make you come out,’ he told him, hoping that at least something would be intelligible, ‘don’t fret.’

The voice, or… impression of a voice, was warm. It felt the same as the calming presence that had begun to ease his fear. Not banish it, but lessen it at least. What he imagining things? He figured he must be. His dad said his grandma used to hear things that weren’t there. 

Whatever he was, a real or not, Finley’s thoughts tumbled back to him.

‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run away. I just got really scared. I don’t know where I am or if Torin’s okay. He was probably so mad and it’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have run away. I’m sorry.’

The response was remarkably clear, for all its rushing current of fear which choked the words. Elrond let out a relieved breath.

‘Torin is well. He is safe,’ he told him at once. ‘And to my knowledge no one is angry with you. Only worried.’ 

Finley buried his face in his knees and pulled them closer to his chest, biting his lip so hard he tasted blood. ‘No. No he’s angry. He’s really really angry and it’s my fault. It’s my fault because I ran away and now he’s gonna hurt Torin and it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have run away or hid the rings or taken the rings or anything. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!’ 

“I’m– I– I– I’m s–” the words stumbled weakly out of his mouth. “‘m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Elrond shifted, rounding the desk to settle down once more a fair distance away, within Finley’s line of sight, but neither blocking his exits nor forcing either of them to look directly at each other. 

‘No one will hurt Torin in my house. I will not let them,’ he replied back, firm and steadfast, but still gentle and warm. ‘is it your father that scares you so much, tithen pen?’ 

Finley didn’t look up when he moved around the desk. He kept his face buried in his knees, but nodded, just a little. 

‘He was really angry, ‘cause I took something I wasn’t supposed to and now we’re here and it’s my fault.’

Elrond tilted his head, still radiating that flow of calm and relieved beyond words that this was working. 

‘predicaments so unfortunate and tangled as this are hardly ever any one person’s fault, let alone someone so small as you. And in any case I am certain you did not intend to cause harm. And a second I promise: I will not let anyone hurt your brother. Neither will I let anyone hurt you. No matter how angry they might be.’ 

Finley couldn’t say why he believed him, but he did. He was just one of those people who made you feel safe. Finley was scared to look up, because he wanted so badly for him to be real, but was so scared he wasn’t. 

It took a few minutes to muster up the courage to lift his head and open his eyes. 

There, sitting on the floor, was Elrond.

He was warm like summer and had a presence so much bigger than Finley’s dad, but so much kinder. 

--

anyway, that's the gist! I know that's quite bit more than a "line or two" but this will likely never go up anywhere, since we don't plan on finishing it. It's a fun idea, but we wound up doing a similar thing with the same characters a little to the left, and we like that better.

#this is huge #but we wrote quite a bit of this before we got bored lol #the bradys in middle earth #(small cw for child abuse. nothing graphic. Only implied) #elrond #not my OCs but borrowed with permission! #also includes: #elladan #elrohir #erestor #lindir #and plenty of: #glorfindel #and also Celebrian #of course

[howtonotgocrazy]

Say Yes

And I mean this in that Jim Carey 'Yes Man' movie kind of way. See we get stuck in our own dramas, to the point that we forget what we like. We say no to things that take extra energy or effort because our minds jump to the conclusion that it would mentally exhaust us and thus is just safer to decline invite and new opportunities to keep us in our safe yet entirely too mundane daily ritual. That and if you're anything like me, you start to almost self alienate. Spending more and more time alone. Alone time is great. Don't think I won't spend an entire day knitting and listening to music solo enjoying every second of it. But if you don't use it, you lose it. And people skills are often quick to go. Which then leaves a person feeling more awkward the next time they do try to socialize, instilling the belief that they must stink at it, when they are just out of practice.

My solution was to grab a local paper, our most popular here is called the Eugene Weekly. It's a light paper that has just about any and every local happening in the town. Concerts, book readings, art walks, community events at the library... It's great because every city has some kind of event going on occasionally and you'd be surprised how many of them are free to attend. Due to my own self isolation while I work through a minor life crisis, it's rare that people want to join me. But I won't let that stop me. Because I know I am a little weird, at least to the people around me who don't know me. I also know that I am really cool and fun and like to try new things and occasionally meet people. And the strangers I encounter on these various outings either see my coolness and have a nice short conversation with me, or think I'm silly and then I walk away and never think of them again. (Cause I'm the only one in my head and I know I'm cool, just as I'm sure you know yourself better than anyone else and you know all your strengths too, so don't hold onto anything negative people throw at you. It's their ugly, not yours!)

Long story short (my favorite oxy-moron and one you'll see a lot throughout my writings), I was watching the eclipse, and I use the word watching loosely because nature decided I had planned poorly by not grabbing solar glasses and decided to be completely overcast that day in it's most loving way to help my eyes, and reading the Eugene Weekly. Found a health and wellness event at the local fairgrounds with free entry. Now most of these events are just big sales pitches, and rightfully so because the people at the booths pay good money for those booths. But they also have a ton of swag they hand out and a ton more potential healthy events to go to later. I sent out a few texts to try to wrangle a friend to go. Got nothing and went alone. There's something about doing these kinda things alone that scares me. Like walking up to a stranger at a booth, who is going to sell me something when I'm broke as a joke and probably look as though that's the case, is going to completely crush my ego. They're gonna know I just want the free sanitizer and candy and have no intention of calling later for senior living suggestions. But I realized that's ok. Think of it as Halloween. It's meant for the cute little kids who don't fully understand the magnitude of everyone just giving out that free candy, but most houses will still tolerate the teenagers who put on a mask and greedily rush in, in fact the candy givers even expect that crowd to be by, because this isn't their first Halloween and most likely they've been in your shoes. This I went in knowing I couldn't buy a single thing, but had one thing to give freely, positive energy. I stopped and talked to an artist who was working on cancer survivor portraits and was very good to learn about his cause and I gave him some encouraging words and a smile. He gave me cool stickers. I stopped at one booth with a lady who looked bored to hear how she changes out the artwork for homebound people so they can have fresh aesthetics around so they don't get bored. I related that I had a parent who never left his house, took her card, told her the art pieces she made were lovely (probably grabbed some free candy) and moved on. By the end of it, I had more swag than I needed, enough candy to create a sugar high afternoon and most importantly, I got back to my car smiling. It was absolutely fun and I was glad I went. When I told friends about it later, that came through clearly because they regretted missing it.

Basically, even if you feel socially awkward (like me sometimes) it's ok to still try. Essential even. Keep saying yes to parties you know nobody at. Keep looking for local events that spark your interest and goaolo if you need to. Keep forcing yourself to relearn to be comfortable in less comfortable situations. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to enjoy. Plus it's a great way to meet people who like the things you like, and the happy energy that you get from feeling successful afterwards is so fucking good.

Don't over do it to the Jim Carey level. But stretch your wings a bit. Cause you'll like yourself more after and you deserve that kind of thing.

[browzerhistory]

tips for beginning artists from someone who's been drawing since he could first pick up a crayon:

1. anything worth doing is worth doing poorly

scared the drawing you want to make will turn out ugly? nervous you won't do the angle/character/lighting/etc justice? do it anyway. do it scared. do it weird, do it anatomically incorrect, do it uncolored, but whatever you do, draw that thing. it's better to get the idea out on paper/canvas/etc than to leave it in your brain to eventually fade away. if you still really love the concept, you can come back to it later with better skills, and if you end up disliking it, well, now that you've drawn it you don't have to ever again!

2. get a little silly with it

experiment with your art. go to a color palette generator and make something with the first thing you get. make ocs with complicated designs and weird backstories. change things about your style just to see how they look. the more things you try out, the more things you'll find out you like (or dislike), and your art will start to really feel like yours. i'm not sure if the Youth of Today get as hung up over not having an art style as i used to, but if you do, there's only one way to get it: fuck around and find out.

3. always cheat

listen. there are many people who will tell you that tracing a reference or color picking from a photo or whatever is cheating. those people are lying to you. obviously there are limits (like don't trace/recolor art and post it without credit), but the vast majority of the time, tracing and taking inspiration from other people's art is how you get better.

(one way to stop yourself from plateauing is to trace a reference, then try drawing it by hand. you can also try breaking down a pose into basic shapes/lines; if this seems confusing, just pretend you're making hitboxes for it video game style.)

4. take a goddamn break

if drawing is starting to feel more like a chore than a hobby, or if you feel like you've run out of good ideas, stop for a couple days. pursue another hobby, eat good food, observe local flora and fauna. even if you love drawing with all your heart and think you'll never get enough of it, your brain needs a refresher every now and then to come up with new cool stuff to draw. trying to push past burnout will most likely just ruin the fun of it for you.

5. make a mary sue oc immediately

there's way too much hate on mary sue characters, especially when so many stories introduce protagonists by going "what if there was a guy. and he was the Specialest Guy Ever." having a character who's sexy and smart and powerful is not only fun, but good for the soul, and nobody gets hurt when you make one. plus, it's hard to overstate how good it is to have a character you love to draw in lots of different outfits, poses, and situations.

6. your art is good because you made it

now this one will probably be controversial, since a lot of artist memes are about feeling self conscious about or straight-up hating your own art. but you've gotta find pride in what you make. you've gotta look at your drawings and say, "this fucks actually and i did an amazing job." for me, even if i don't like how a drawing turned out, i try to find at least one thing i really like about it, like the shading or colors or emotion. making self-deprecating jokes stops being ironic the more you do it, and the same applies to jokingly tearing your own art apart.

7. keep your old art

a very good poster once said that throwing away/deleting your old art is like walking up a staircase and smashing every stair behind you. even if you're very high up, you won't see it because it looks like you're just on the first step.

personally, i have sketchbooks going back to early 2018, when i first started regularly using them, and i keep some of my first ever digital pieces in an archive on my tablet, but i get that that sort of record keeping isn't possible for a lot of people. the gist of this advice is just to have some reminder of where you've been, so you can look forward to where you're going.

8. make furry characters

beyond the obvious (you're probably a furry and it's nice to be able to draw your fursona), doing furry art is also a great way to find community in art. whether you do commissions, comics, or just draw yourself for fun, furry art is a wonderful method of self-expression that has the added bonus of being basically limitless. my main fursona is a bug, my secondary one is a gastropod. follow your dreams.

there may be more i add to this list later, but these are the main ones i can come up with. obligatory disclaimer that i'm just one guy with one experience; this advice might not work for everyone; etc etc. i've just tried to base this off of what i wish i knew when i started getting into art seriously.

#art advice #have fun and be queer... my final message... goodbye

[sneakysnoo]

i guess if puppys gonna genderpost puppys gonna genderpost hehe 😖💦

idk i mean im fluid in that it feels like its always vibrating and never still, and i didnt used to think i swung between masc/femme but now ive been out long enough to see that sometimes one or the other comes and goes, on top of the usual mix of non femme non masc feelings. ok slightly masc? still havent figured out if thats actually masc leaning or if maybe itll change someday when ive put some more distance between myself and my agab… weirder stuff has happened heh

but when it comes to how im seen i just need everyone to know that im a guy who also no he is not, and also that i am a goofy silly companion who aspires to have game show host vibes in the philosophical way

how does one have game show host vibes in the philosophical way?? i mean. a show is an experience, and the host takes you through it while also making it fun and entertaining. life is also an experience and i think if you do not try to have fun along the way you die a long time before your body dies lol. but not a lot of people think about this, because its so easy to get swept out of the moment and into lifes insanity. this is why we are in desperate need of these silly little guys called hosts. i think i also like the irreverence and the sheer balls to the wall insanity attracts me. akira kogami, garfield the cat, max headroom, mister rogers, bob ross, pat sajack. and of course. kermit dee frog, all of these bold individuals did the job thats a lil bit of everything, that at the end of the day is also one with and facilitates the show. they are the glue that keeps a timeslot that would just be a pile of skits from falling flat on its ass. they shepherd the present moment so that things can be Seen. They tell the audience, welcome! everything is ok. this is where you are, and this is whats coming up. now look. listen. to host is to take a walk with someone, and to keep them company for a little while. which is what so so much art is really about at the end of the day.

there is significant overlap here with the more evil counterpart of the game show host, the used car salesman. both the host and the salesman project the confidence of those who have seen beyond the firmament. they have Figured It Out. a good shepherd must instill calmness in the flock. but unlike the game show host which is a capitalistically originated entity but still with a little breath of soul, of art, the salesman has seen through to the simple, ugly truth, and he is not interested in distractions or happiness like art. the salesman sees that the only one who can possibly succeed in this system must be hollow, and hollow he becomes. but still the truth shines in him, shines out from his desperate hungry eyes like light through cathedral windows. hes happy. as happy as he can be. hes “successful.” as successful as he can be. he can imitate, but he can never quite truly be a good host, because being a good host requires some amount of care for your audience. the audience will, if theyre lucky, sense this deep dissonance in him and trust themselves instead of his words.

idk why all that got mixed in with my gender brain wires crosses who knows lmao 😜

#gender #genderfluid #gender rambling #puppy talks #casually staying up until 4 am picking apart why game show host is a like #real platonic ideal

[that110alto]

hey there! list five things that make you happy, then put this is the askbox of the last ten people who reblogged something from you! spread the happiness and positivity <3

1. Undoubtedly nature, and animals. The iridescence in a fish scale helped me begin to see the world as beautiful again through one of the toughest times in my life. Even when everything else in the world looks ugly, nature never fails to stun me. The light filtering through tree leaves, the sparkle on fallen snow. The sunset on the bay. The warmth of the sun or a cool soft breeze on my skin. Breathing in scents and smells. The pulse of cicadas in the night, a butterfly fluttering past, birdsong on a quiet summer day. Thunderstorms and rain. Falling asleep on a hammock to the sound of gentle waves lapping on rocks. The glow of the moon in the Sonoran, being able to name the constellations. Fireworks, a supermoon, and distant lightning on a summer night with a warm breeze - sitting on a pier.

And I love animals with my whole heart. I'll spend my life trying to advocate for more space for them and encourage their appreciation. We owe a lot to the other beings on our planet. (I will never not coo at a snake or not catch a frog. I fucking love holding little guys. So so so very baby)

2. Painting and art. It's my no 1 hobby. When I can get by the roadblocks my brain makes (motivation, perfectionism,etc.), I love that I have the ability to create. I can sit, and I could make whatever is in my head. It could take a long while depending on what it is, but I can make it. I also think there's something profound about humans making art for the sake of making it, and so I think it brings out a touch of humanity in me while also connecting me to myself.

3. Reading, stories, and writing. When I sit down and really get absorbed into a book; I can learn so many things. Be touched in ways nothing else could. I could also be transported into a world inside my brain, like dreaming while awake. Books are fucking magical. I wish I spent more time reading them. I want to write again. I have so many ideas and stories to tell. I just need to start small by writing chicken scratch and little scenes.

4. Singing makes me happy. It's probably why I listen to shortness so much. It's great for singing to. I just love the way it feels, and I have fun. Dancing too, even though I'm not good at it. I'll dance when there's no music. I feel stupid doing that most times, but I also think that it should be a beautiful thing.

5. Growing, improving. Mental wellness, wellness in general. Cognitive behavioral therapy. I like taking care of myself. I like working to make myself better, for myself. I like working towards accepting myself. I like things that broaden my horizons. I like learning new things, trying new things, liking new things. I like going on adventures. I like pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I also like giving myself little relaxing treats like a bath or a cold drink in the shower for my efforts. A candle, some mood lighting with a glass of wine and a good dinner after a day of working goes such a long way. Maybe I just love living.

Thanks for sending this ask. It was nice to sit and reflect on the things that bring me joy :)

[oldgooddaysoldgooddays]

191

It is delicious knowing I don't have to travel internationally again before 2023. Just a photo of an aircraft cabin I see online makes me shudder. I could never be an art dealer : G has been in London, Paris, Dallas, Arkansas, New Mexico. Now Miami, then Düsseldorf and Berlin My studio still isn't finished, and I continue to work in the gallery. It takes at least five plays of the demo video D sends of how to operate the building's alarm system before I feel safe disarming it. Once, weeks and weeks ago, I got the key stuck in the lock and the alarm went off. I have come to love my confined space, however. It brings back memories of art school - harsh lighting, the delicate dance required not to knock into things (I do, my favourite "Peace and Quiet" coffee mug, it breaks), listening to rap music raw from my iPhone. Only now, I can reorder the mug immediately Why I didn't rid myself of J the minute he attacked my appearance, I'm not sure. Maybe I still long for mistreatment, or worse, will tolerate mistreatment if there's an ego massage in there too. Or it's just winter, a season made for sitting on chairs with shameful posture texting someone you could take or leave. We talk on the phone too, and I learn this is a person who tells you how he's feeling at all times. He speaks in long sentences and I contribute dispassionate single syllables. Do I want to hear any more Aquarians' theories about life? I think my GP suspects I'm hoarding my meds for an eventual overdose, so calls me in for an appointment. I promise her I just leave packets of them in hotels whenever I travel and run out quicker. Do not assume the sinister when it's really the incompetent. I think she's a good doctor, efficient, generous with her time, has a good memory. She asks if I'm still being creative, and how I'm feeling about my sexuality. I remember then that I had told her I thought I might be gay while she examined my stomach 3 years ago. She asks if I have listened to Esther Perel's podcast, and I can't help laughing, evilly and knowingly, and then all of a sudden sadly. I leave with a number for a good EMDR therapist whom I know I won't call The day is crisp and the wind is light, I bike the distance from Sloane Square back to Whitechapel, something I used to do a lot when I saw my therapist / dietician twice weekly. Now I struggle a little - either my legs aren't as strong or I'm not as okay with punishment. One hopes it's the latter, or that therapy was a total waste of time. I get to my "studio" and eat watching YouTube Shorts, an ugly new habit. I don't see how many more times I need to see Joe Rogan think out loud about the majesty of the Pyramids and how the hell they were built. How many more times Jordan Peterson can explain why women often don't become mathematicians. How many more times Ben Shapiro can feign offence at a teenager on TikTok delineate their pronouns, while also advertising a company that can secure you a stretch of land in Scotland and thus make you legally a "lord" I pussy out of the rainy bike ride home and get the tube with wet, normal people. I am on my fiftieth listen of Kendrick's Mr Morale and still not done with it:

Bitch, are you happy for me? Really, are you happy for me? Smile in my face, but are you happy for me? Yeah, I'm out the way, are you happy for me? Bitch, are you happy for me? Really, are you happy for me? Smile in my face, but are you happy for me? Yeah I'm out the way, are you happy for me?

[midasinc]

les amis and toxic traits (affectionate and derogatory):

-courfeyrac has a bad habit of being on his phone when he's with friends. he's mostly either just swiping through his dating app or texting someone on his dating app and he isn't aware that it's really rude. he's also really bad about borrowing money and not giving it back. if he asks for a couple euro for the metro, you will never get it back. he comes from a rich background and money is something that he forgets not everybody has. feuilly is the only one who holds him accountable for it because "i bought you a drink at the pub two weeks ago and you still owe me and i need to pay rent this week :/"

-enjolras is a pen clicker. oh. my god. he clicks pens at the speed of light and if someone asks him to stop, he'll apologize but then start again like thirty seconds later. it is so. fucking. annoying. also i love him but he's really self-righteous and won't admit when he's wrong. when someone has an opinion that differs his own, he can only see things in black or white. you're on his side, or you're wrong. this also applies to other's and their choices in what they do. he always donates the extra euro when he's checking out at a store for whatever donation project is going and if you don't he will give you the stink eye and publicly ask why you won't. no recyclable grocery bags? he will call you out and badger you until you buy one. you accidentally left the light on when you exited the room? oh my god. he has such good intentions but he forgets that not everybody might be as financially secure as him and not everybody is thinking about it at all times. he wants what's good for the world but it really gets on other people's nerves sometimes

-joly is really similar to enjolras in the sense that he calls people out for their health choices without thinking about their situation. he's getting better about it, but he has criticized grantaire to hell and back about all of his bad habits and not in a nice way. he's really harsh when someone is self-destructive or literally just picks like a soda at a restaurant over water. he wants his friends to be healthy but jesus fucking christ dude. no one asked for your opinion, now is not the time.

-feuilly only eats frozen meals. he only lives on lean cuisines. JEHBJWEHRWJH but also this dude smokes cigs a lot and forgets that smoke and tobacco makes some people feel sick or nauseated. he smokes in his apartment even when people are over and doesn't really think it's that big of a problem. enter: enjolras, who has asthma, and just walked through a cloud and starts hacking. anyway, he also gets really defensive when people call him out on it. it's his choice to smoke and whenever someone is like "hey maybe you might want to cut back" when he's buying a new pack of smokes after buying one three days before, he'll get super snappy and rude because it feels like an attack on him

-speaking of nicotine! jehan vapes and i have no room to speak on this subject bc let's not talk about my juul but they are in denial that it's also a problem. they're like "it's healthy shut up" but will go through pods so fast that it's genuinely comparable to feuilly's same bad habit. they started juuling bc they thought the flavours were yummy and it was cool and oh my god. jehan is also really blunt with their sense of humour and doesn't realize that not everybody thinks its funny. walking into a room and just being like "lmaoooo grantaire you look like shit today" and everybody is kind of like "...hm". combeferre is actually good about calling them out on that sort of stuff, though. if jehan realizes they're in the wrong, they'll apologize

-combeferre is. such. a fucking. movie talker. he just has so much to say at every minute of the movie and it's the worst (this is also me so self-roast). nobody likes to watch movies with him because "dude we just want to watch the fucking movie oh my god". he's also really pretentious and a gatekeeper. if you like the same band as him "oh really? well name three songs-" in a way that makes whoever he's feeling to feel stupid. combeferre really prides himself on his intellect, but it goes too far most of the time and it just comes across as super condescending and a lot of people get annoyed talking with him because it just feels like he's talking down at them the whole time

-marius is also super blunt but not in a way that's meant to be funny. he has absolutely walked into a room and gone "oh enjolras your haircut looks so bad im so sorry :(". and similarly to courfeyrac, he forgets the value of money. he's definitely asked people to go somewhere and has said like "yeah! the concert tickets are like 250 euro which is actually super cheap :)" and feuilly is just. dying inside. he intends to be nice, he just says so much stupid shit. he isn't purposely being a bad guy.

-bossuet never re-fills a roll of toilet paper if he's the last to use it. you do not know how annoying it is to room with this guy. grantaire has absolutely shouted "HOW HARD IS IT TO GRAB ANOTHER TUBE???" from the shitter and bossuet just denies it because it embarrasses him. he's also bad about cleaning dishes and will leave a cup in the sink for weeks if it isn't cleaned by someone else or threateningly left in front of his bedroom door. i love u bae but please clean up after yourself

-grantaire is the fucking worst. i love him but he is the worst. he is so self-deprecating to the point where a lot of people just won't be around him because you can only take so much self-pity before it becomes annoying as hell. he's never accepted a compliment and is one of those "omg no my art is so fucking ugly i hate it so much" when someone says they like a sketch or a painting he did and it is just. so annoying. he's also just super bad about caring about him self. baby forgets to shower and wash his hair and wear deodorant and it's like babe. baby. listen- we are not 13 year old boys anymore, we are men and we need to shower. take your zoloft and let's clean up your room <3

-bahorel is a babe but he's too rough with people. he'll slap someone on the back so hard that they choke on their drink. he's also bad about jokes going too far and just being kind of an asshole he'll snatch up something courfeyrac is holding and hold it up high and courf is 5'5 and bahorel is 6'3 and it is just unfair and unfunny and courfeyrac is not laughing and it just gets old so fast. he thinks people are having fun with him but baby they r not. everybody here is givin you the stink eye, just let the bit die

#let's pretend some of these dont extend from me #les mis #les miserables #les amis de l'abc #les amis #modern era #modern au #enjolras #courfeyrac #combeferre #jehan prouvaire #jean prouvaire #jehan #feuilly #bahorel #joly #bossuet #grantaire #les mis headcanons

[bubbleteaimagines]

Headcanons of Porco dating an Artist? Maybe like his s/o painted Porco's jaw titan and he is at awe at how something deemed so terrifying can be painted to look so beautifully :)

Painting the Jaw Titan

Porco Galliard Headcanon

Authors Note: You have no idea how much I love this concept!

with you being an artist, porco’s already amazed at your work

seriously, everything you’ll let him keep is hung up in his bedroom or in his living room, proudly on display

he’ll sing his praises about you to anyone that will listen

telling people how talented you are and always showing off your work

however, what porco doesn’t know is you’ve been working on something special

you’ve been waiting on him to get back from the war for m o n t h s

so, as a little ‘welcome home’ gift you decided to paint him in his titan form

at first, when you showed it to him excitedly porco was confused

“what’s this?”

“It’s you silly! the jaw titan — the best marley warrior there is!”

when porco didn’t say anything, you became a little worried

“pock? don’t you like it?”

“t-thanks y/n, i’ll be sure to put it up.”

only...he never did

usually, porco would hang your art up that night or the next day at least

but when you visited his apartment the painting was nowhere to be found

honestly, he always enjoyed your art

what was different this time?

you found out one day when you decided to ask

“pock, baby? can you tell me something?”

“of course baby. what is it?”

“do you not like my art anymore?”

honestly, the question would throw him off guard

“w...what? of course i love your art baby, you know that. where’s this coming from?”

you sigh. “it’s just...i noticed you haven’t hung the painting i made for you when you got back from war. the one of the jaw titan?”

at this, you can see porco noticeably shift

there’s something wrong, he can’t look you in the eye

“there’s nothing wrong with the painting baby. it’s just...”

“yeah?”

“It’s just that, well, you shouldn’t use something so ugly as muse in something so beautiful.”

“w-what?”

you can barely believe what you’re hearing

ugly? is that truly what porco thinks of that other part of himself?

“baby...”

he’s avoiding your gaze, shifting away from you

“i’m sorry y/n but the way i see it that jaw titan’s a monster. you shouldn’t idolize something like that.”

hearing this will make you so sad bc it’s...porco? you don’t understand

“baby...” you’re frowning but porco doesn’t wanna talk about it anymore, shaking his head and waving you away

he’s obviously embarrassed at being vulnerable

i mean it’s porco, he’s always been nothing but strong for you

“let’s just forget about this, yeah? let’s just go to bed.”

he stalks off but of course, you’re not going to drop it

porco’s expression absolutely killed you and you hate that he feels that way

you wanna do something about it so you hatch a plan

the next day, you gather all of you painting supplies and then lure porco out to a secluded field

he thinks he’s just there to watch you paint, but you have other ideas

“can you...can do me a favor, pock?” you asked sweetly as you set everything up

“of course baby, what is it?”

“can you turn into a titan for me?”

your voice was so casual and innocent that porco didn’t even catch on at first

but when he did—

“what the fuck? turn into a titan?! are you crazy?! what are you thinking?!”

“i wanna show you that you’re not a monster, pock! i wanna turn you into something beautiful so that you can see what i along with the rest of the world see!”

“y/n...”

he’d be so shocked and so adamant on not turning, waving you off but you’re stubborn

“please pock, just let me do this. just this one— let me show you.”

it’d take a hell of a lot of convincing, but eventually porco would give in

his behavior of always giving you what you want comes to bite him in the ass

soon enough, there’s a flash of yellow light and then your boyfriend transforms right in front of you

you can’t contain your smile as you climb onto the large beast, dragging various mixtures of paint and supplies with you

beneath you, porco is laying completely still and barely even breathing

he’s so terrified he might hurt you and and he’s wondering why in the hell did he ever agree to this in the first place

“see there? the perfect canvas.” you grin, staring him straight in the eyes as you stroke his face

porco has to fight the urge to roll his eyes, instead watching you intently as you swirl your brush in some paint

“here goes nothing...”

the first stroke is light, delicate but despite this the paint feels cold on porco’s face

absentmindedly, he shivers back causing you to giggle and hold on tight as you shake

“hold still silly, i can’t get anything done if you keep moving!”

something that sounds like a whine escapes his throat, but you keep painting anyways

pretty soon his face is colored in an array of different paints, ranging from yellow to pink to green

you paint with a purpose, and porco thinks it’s absolutely adorable how your tongue sticks out, how your face is scrunched up in concentration, and how soothing your voice is as you hum slightly

by the time you’re finished, your clothes are covered in paint, some has gotten in the jaw titan’s mane, there’s some on the grass but you’re so proud of yourself and porco is so relaxed you both don’t even care

“tada!” you hop off of his shoulders and then giggle, shoving a small mirror in front of the titan’s eyes

at first, porco doesn’t even react

he’s too busy staring at himself, eyes wide as he takes in your masterpiece

flowers...they’re painted everywhere

every inch of white surface is covered with lily’s, roses, sunflowers, poppy’s, anything you could think of

just staring at it causes porco’s jaw to nearly drop

in all honesty, he thinks it’s absolutely amazing

he’s never seen himself like this

so...beautiful, when he’s so used to looking terrifying

“well?” you bite your lip, waiting for porco to come out and give you his opinion

“y/n...” there’s some smoke, and suddenly porco detaches himself from his titan form, looking at you in awe

“it’s...it’s...beautiful,” he says, and you grin

“isn’t it?! don’t you just look so cute, pock? oh i wish i brought a camera! pieck will absolutely love it!”

“as amazing as this is y/n, you are absolutely not allowed to show anyone else,” porco says sternly

he can imagine it now

the other warriors teasing him for letting you paint flowers 🌺 on one of the scariest titan’s in existence

“oh, okay,” you’re definitely gonna tell pieck

porco just doesn’t know it yet

but he does know that he’s absolutely and irrevocably in love with you — someone that loves every part of him even if he doesn’t love it himself

and, staring at the steaming titan, it’s face still prominent and marked up, porco finally begins to see himself through your eyes after all

#porco snk #porco aot #porco galliard x reader #porco x reader #porco galliard #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagine #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin #asks

[bravewielder]

I have had about enough of all this Braveheart slander.

“But Braveheart doesn’t even fit Riku’s character! It has an ugly bland design.”

Ma’am. I’m gunna have to stop you right there.

Riku has always had Braveheart shining through as early as 358/2 Days (see above ^)... since 2008 !! But we all have to remember that at that time, Riku did not think he was worthy enough to even wield a Keyblade, not even after CoM. That's why it has never properly manifested itself until KH3.

But what about Way to Dawn you ask? Well, listen. I have a theory that, much like how Sora obtained the Kingdom Key from the Light of Riku’s corrupted heart, Riku was able to obtain the Way to Dawn with the help of Sora’s Light. (I also theorize that Destiny’s Embrace was created much the same way for Kairi. But that's to be discussed for another day.) Without Sora being the catalyst, Way to Dawn would probably never be created. It was born out of Riku’s sincere desire to help Sora and his friends, as well as his desire to find his way out of Darkness. So in a way, Way to Dawn was never meant to be his main Keyblade. It was a Keyblade with a practical purpose when it was needed. (I would like to think this is also similar to obtaining Keyblade variants from the worlds you visit when learning new skills)

We also have to take into account that Way to Dawn took design liberties from Soul Eater - a sword (not a keyblade) that was designed by Maleficent, not Riku. Soul Eater, you could say, was a symbol of Riku’s Darkness, and it was from this weapon that Way to Dawn manifested into because Soul Eater was occupying the Kingdom Key’s place. As Nomura has put it: “Keyblades aren't something that you can obtain suddenly out of nowhere so in Riku's case, his Soul Eater was used as an intermediary for that Keyblade [Way to Dawn].”

If we recall back in DDD, Riku was still struggling with the residual Darkness within in him and that he was bothered by the fact that he could still summon the Soul Eater. He still hasn’t accepted himself as a proper Keyblade wielder at that point, not until they’ve finished the Mark of Mastery exams. That's why at the very start of the exams, he said wanted to be tested. He wanted to see if he really was worthy to wield one. Because we have to remember that it was such a huge blow to his ego that his original Keyblade, the Kingdom Key, did not find him worthy enough and that it still chose to go back to Sora.

It was only after the exams that he learns, not only is he still worthy of wielding a Keyblade, but he has also rightfully earned the title of Keyblade Master. At that point, Riku finally got the self-confidence and assurance he needed in order for him to finally bring out Braveheart (albeit off screen). And truly, it takes a lot of bravery to pull out this kind of Keyblade.

Braveheart fits Riku’s character perfectly because it’s modeled after Dimple Keys which are considered to be far more secure that any other kind of key. Their unique dimple patterns and robust, industrial design are more capable of protecting and securing your valuables. Which reflects Riku’s goal of protecting the things that matter. Sure, Way to Dawn was aesthetically pleasing, artful and poetic, but with Riku’s character development throughout the games, I’m pretty sure he’s way passed having that kind of VANITY.

TLDR; Braveheart is a cool Keyblade that fits Riku’s character perfectly. If you don’t like it then Riku will just have to run you over with his Honda Civic.

#┊ i know the road my heart walks | self; ┈ ✧ #┊ I'm me. | Headcanons; ┈ ✧ #Gosh. #I didn't mean to go off on this #but I was so tired of everyone whining about how ugly it is and how it doesn't fit Riku #I beg to differ 😤 #maybe its because it's the namesake of my url #but tbh i genuinely do prefer its design #because i've always liked the look of the Fenrir Keyblade

[ryuu-to-sobakasu-hime]

Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime (Belle) Novel | English Translation | Chapter 6

**This is a machine translation. I put it together by extracting text page-by-page from a .pdf version of the Japanese novel, and running it through Google translate. I have only minorly edited some of the more confusing lines to make it more read-able. It is still a very rough translation, but it’s good enough to understand what’s going on. If there is anyone out there who wants to properly translate the novel, I am more than happy to edit it, if you’ll contact me.**

———————————————

Chapter 6: Encounter

The crescent moon shining on the equator moves and brings darkness to the world of "U". In the city of "U" that continues like a big river, Az and others were overflowing more than usual today. There is a mysterious feeling of exhilaration here and there, and it seems that everyone is restless. Countless net news is broadcast in various languages. "... Soon, at 20:25 standard time on 'U', Belle's biggest live concert will take place here at 'U's spherical stadium."

The city of "U" is basically a "skyscraper" and a "park."

It consists of repeating two types of modules, "(Park)". However, there are some other special modules. One of them is a spherical module called "Stadium". "..... The number of Az that can watch at the same time in the world is said to be 100 million or 200 million, which is unusual for a newcomer who appeared within 6 months ..."

As you approach the spherical stadium, you can see that many small units are gathered together to form a sphere. It passes through the gaps of each unit and enters the inside. Each unit has multiple windows. The shape of the window matches the shape of the screen of the smartphone, and you can see Az in it. That is the audience seat of this spherical stadium.

A myriad of Az are waiting for the start of the live. The start time has come. The space of the wide sphere gradually darkens with the driving sound. The units are getting closer to each other and the gap is narrowing. Eventually, a roaring sound was heard. The gap between the units was completely closed, and the space was surrounded by darkness. A red line like the equator emerges in the darkness. It's the beginning of the live. Music starts. A huge drop of water can be seen floating in the center of the space. In front of this mysterious sight, the audience grabbed a sight of what was about to begin.

The huge water droplets began to emit light from the inside, shaking the surface with surface tension. A number of glittering lights are generated and are stored in water droplets. Eventually, the water droplets filled with light burst like a big bang. When a large amount of droplets diffuse into the space, a mysterious object that reflects light appears behind it. A huge splash with a dozen meters, assembled from delicate beads.

At the tip of the dress is Belle, me.

"Woooooooooo ...!"

The cheers of Az and others like the rumbling of the ground boiled up. Mosaic-like light is emitted from the countless windows of the audience seats. In response to the light, the color of the beads that make up the dress changes in a complex way. These are special beads whose brilliance changes depending on the light. It's the best outfit, coordinated by the best designers, from headdresses to high heels. I swam in the space, changing to various colors in response to the light. The parts of the huge dress are separated like a multi-stage rocket. In the meantime, it will be separated. The beads swirled like the swell of the sea, transforming into a virtual fluctuation of the sea surface.

Three whales with headphones appear there and slowly snuggle up to me in the center. The whales are top-notch dancers hired for this concert. When one of the whales hits the surface of the sea with its tail fin to the music, a beautiful wave appears. The crest has spread. Another one also hits the surface of the sea. The ripples overlapped. The other one blew up the tide from his nose. Next is my turn. Like the whale I mentioned earlier, I surrendered myself to music, twisted my body, and hit the surface of the sea. Ripples spread beautifully. I twist my body again and hit the surface of the sea, ripples piled up. And, like the squirting of a baby whale, I rushed out of the sea. The whales come in again and swim and dance in the calculated combination. I sing at the center. The sparkling flash of the audience seats reaches the dress, changing the color of the beads one after another. What a beauty. The colors that would never appear without each of the light from the windows of smartphones are a collaboration between me, the designer, and the audience. And again, it's a one-time art that can never be reproduced in the digital world where reproduction is natural. I finished singing proudly.

"Ooooooooooooooooo!"

The roaring cheers of Az and others shook the spherical stadium. The flashes in the audience seats disappear all at once, returning to the darkness of the equator. The prelude of the second song begins, and the next set of graphical steel frames slides from above and below. During the blackout, the producer of this live, Hiro-chan’s Az, slipped in.

"Belle is the best. I'll go next."

"Yes."

Hiro-chan’s Az threw a piece of cloth in her hand. It fluttered around my body and turned into a patchwork dress. This is also the work of the same designer as the bead dress, and is woven with fibers that change when exposed to light. Suddenly, there was a strange noise.

"ah…"

The gap between the rugged stadium and the spherical stadium opens a little.

"Who? You opened the door without permission!" Hiro-chan’s Az yells.

Someone invaded through a small gap in the unit. A lone Az at the beginning.

And then a group of Az. They are moving at high speed just past the audience unit. I can tell that the audience in the window is upset by this happening.

Hiro-chan’s Az is very angry. "Get out of here, asshole!”

The lone Az appears to be escaping from the group chasing him.

"Is he being chased?"

They go around the perimeter along the equator of the spherical stadium. The group of chasers was divided into two.

"Jeeze! What is that guy?" Hiro-chan’s Az looks up in the air and asks. Avatars all over the world instantly raise chat balloons:

《Dreki》

《Long》 《continuar》 《naga》 《Dragon》 《lass》

《Ejderha》

"Dragon?"

<<It's an ugly monster-type Az that lives in “U.”>>

Two protruding horns. Long nose. Sharp fangs and claws. The characteristic is exactly the dragon itself, and the impression is like a violent beast. Still, the crimson cloak with a raised collar and the white frills peeking through the sleeves of the suit reminded me of something like a nobleman. A mysterious balance in which this opposite nature coexists. The thin, sharp look that I could see in the gaps between his long, curly hair seemed mysterious to me. On the other hand, all his chasers have the unified appearance of a white battle suit with a red line. It looks like a group of justice heroes. The dragon flipped the cloak and I thought that he had soared, but then he twisted and plummeted. With a tricky move, he tossed the chase and swung it off in a blink of an eye, and this time he headed for the other group, which was split into two. Really. The stone mask Az, who leads the fist chaser group, thrusts in without fear. The two collided violently at the front. A fierce spark is scattered. The dragon extended his fist at a speed that my eyes couldn't follow. The chasers flew like pebbles. As it was, it emitted light like glitter and ice crystals, and stopped moving. The data was corrupted by too much blow and it froze.

I watched the dragon in a daze.

"Amazing…"

"What is he?" When Hiro-chan’s Az asked, the balloons answered immediately.

<<A few months ago, he suddenly appeared in the martial arts hall of "U" "He’s been breaking the record of consecutive wins since then" "But he has the worst fighting style">>

"How?"

When Ryu landed on the unit on the wall and turned around, he attacked the other group that he had just shaken off. He does not give them a chance to escape, and defeats them one after another with a quick move. Iconography of crystals, showing freezes, floats here and there.

《Spoil the game》 《Attack until the data is corrupted and unusable》 《It's like trying to get rid of my anger》 I was stunned and stared at the dragon without words.

"Ah..”

I noticed a lot of patterns on his tattered back.

"That is……?"

<< This is a nasty guy who is like the bruises on his back >> Adds a balloon. I saw it to make sure.

"There are so many bruises ..."

The group of chasers is increasing in number before I know it. When the Az of the dreadlocks led by him points to go, more than 10 members scream and head for Dragon all at once. It is one versus ten, but he heads for the fight without hesitation. The dragon rolled out his knife at a blazing speed. The chasers are beaten one after another.

"Waaaaaah!”

Even the last one - bang, smashed down in a breath. The dreadlocks Az was shocked to see that his allies were wiped out in an instant. While making a strange voice, "Woooooo!", He headed for the dragon in the dark clouds. However, immediately after that, Dragon knee-kicked him in the face. Then the upper combo is decided. The dreadlocks Az was blown off.

Hiro-chan’s Az listens with interest. "Who is chasing him?"

《The Justices》

"Justice?"

<<They insist on keeping the justice and order of U.>>

There are Az looking down from a distance. Like the Stone Mask Az and Dreadlocks Az, they were the executives of the Justice Corps. They are strong people who seem to be allies of justice. Half are female. Hiro-chan’s Az made a convincing voice when she saw them.

"Hmm. That's why they look like heroes."

A large number of the justice corps surround the dragon with various weapons such as spears, hammers, and blue swords. The members screamed and attacked all at once. It seems that there is no chance for the dragon to win. The dragon slowly crossed his hands. And he slashed the space at a tremendous speed. He slashed the men as if he were really manipulating a sword. A dense army corps bursts out all at once. "Waaaah!”

At the same time, it gave off a glittering and crystal-like light. The overwhelming strength of the crowd is breathtaking. The dragon turned his back and slowly got up. Justice corps executives were stunned and said, "What a terrible thing ...!"

"What can they do if you hurt them that much?"

"Is it okay that you’re the only one who is not wounded?” With that as a trigger, some spectator Az and others booed.

"That's right!" "You messed up Belle's concert!" "How will you take responsibility?” The voices eventually spread throughout the spherical stadium.

"Apologize to Belle!" "Give us back the time you wasted!" "Get out of here!" "Get out!" I looked around the stadium in a kind of strange atmosphere. Most of the Az on the spot are throwing a fierce boo like a rumbling at just one person. A dragon standing alone in the center. The bruise on his back seemed to me like a wound that had been hit by countless boos. I asked him unintentionally.

"You…"

The dragon turned around slowly and looked at me with a keen eye.

[............]

"Who are you..…?"

I asked unquestioned questions at will. Then the dragon opened his mouth for the first time. It was a muffled voice, like a filter.

"...Don’t look.”

"Huh?"

"Don’t look at me."

The dragon's gaze peeking through his curly hair indicates refusal. I can't hear any more.

At that time, there was a sharp voice that echoed in the spherical stadium.

“Dragon!!”

A man is standing. "I can't forgive you anymore ... I can't forgive you! If I don't defeat the dragon, I can't keep the peace of 'U'!"

"Is that the leader?" Asked Hiro-chan’s Az.

<<Yes. He is Justine>>

It was a blue-eyed Az with blonde hair. His toned, muscular, majestic body reminded me of strength and courage, and the white battle suit that wrapped around him represented his noble personality. He deserves to be called a hero, a mighty man, an ally of justice, a savior.

Justine raised his right arm and pointed to the coat of arms on his wrist. "Look!"

The Metamorphose coat of arms was wrapped in light and became huge, transforming into a winged metal lion head. A jewel-like lens body pops out from the lion's mouth by bolt action. It's like a cannon. Justine raises the gun and shows it off.

"This is the true light that protects the justice and order of 'U'! We will definitely unveil the evil dragon!" He declared in a voice that pervaded the entire "U". Then, banners with the names of the companies came flying one after another and piled up behind him. It seems that these supporting companies support his activities. Hiro-chan’s Az pointed with her eyes rounded.

"Look, the number of sponsor logos!"

"What is Unveil?"

To my question, Hiro-chan’s Az answered "Unveil" with the gesture of Peek-a-boo. Justine holds his right hand to aim at him, and the inside of his lens body shimmers like a mosaic. The particles focused and emitted a green light. Pow! The light cut through the darkness and headed straight toward the dragon. The dragon barely avoids the light. The particles focused again on Justine's right hand and fired two shots in quick succession. The dragon kept a sufficient distance and avoided it carefully. It seems that he is very cautious about this unknown light. "Nuu ..." Justin groaned, lowering his right hand. A long, thin light that moves far away. There is too much distance to hit Dragon.

He signaled, "Door!" In response, the justice executives scattered in all directions. Soon, the gap between the unit and the unit begins to move, and the interval narrows.

"Eh ...?" As it goes on, the brightness disappears. The spherical stadium was engulfed in darkness, with a completely closed sound. Many searchlights owned by the executives turned on all at once. It illuminates a dragon at one point in the center of intersection.

"You can't run away anymore, dragon! I'll uncover your origin right here, you ugly thing!"

Justine's speech wowed the audience.

"Ooooooooooo!"

The field is in full favor of Justine. Hiro-chan’s Az also goes along.

"Good, do it ~~!"

Origin? Uncover? Can he do that? I wondered. Justine said earlier, "The true light that protects the justice and order of 'U'(that green light) will surely unveil the evil dragon." The meaning may be "to clarify who the real person who controls the dragon is.” It means that there is no privacy that should be equally protected by the security of "U". I understood that was what he meant by "unveiling." If it's aimed at the dragon, which is hated by all over the world, everyone will be convinced it’s the right thing to do. But what if I was in his position?

Then, the story is different. I don't want to be unveiled. Anyone wouldn’t. Shouldn't that be the case? Shouldn't security equality be maintained? Executives approach the dragon with a searchlight. The dragon blocks the light with his hands, as if he hates the dazzling lights. However, the executives continue to shine a strong light without mercy. The dragon moves because of the glare, looks like he can't get rid of it. Justine aims carefully from a distance. The searchlight is caught. It seems very easy to shed light on the dragon that has stopped moving. Kuun ……, and the inside of the gun lens shines brilliantly, and the light is focused.

"Get him!!” Hiro-chan’s Az screams with excitement. Next to that, I kept staring at the dragon.

[.............]

The dragon looked up at me as if he had noticed me. His eyes met mine and my heart pulsated.

"Huh?"

From the narrow center of the searchlight, the dragon jumped towards us. The search light suddenly loses sight of the dragon and sways in a confused manner.

"Uh!"

Once Justine lowered his gun in the situation, but quickly repositioned it, he fired two consecutive shots. However, passing through it, the dragon rises at high speed and heads straight toward us.

"Ahhhhh!"

I and Hiro-chan’s Az are upset by the oppressive feeling and cannot move. The dragon approaches at a tremendous speed. Collide!

"Kyaaaa!" We screamed. But the dragon barely slipped beside us. A violent gust of wind occurs with a slight delay. The dragon rose as it was, turned around, and landed on the steel frame of the set. Hiro-chan’s Az was angry and looked up. "You’ve got to be kidding me, you idiot! What if Belle had been injured?"

Dragon approaches us again. "Ah!" The dragon rubbed right next to Hiro-chan’s Az and I, who were shrinking tightly, at a tremendous speed. His goal is the executives of the Justice Corps.

"Waaaaah!” The executives screamed, throwing out searchlights and escaping in all directions. As soon as the dragon did not let them escape, he swung a steel frame over his head and approached.

The light of the searchlight went out, and the area was surrounded by darkness again.

Only the cruel hitting sound and the painful screams of the executives echoed there. What's happening in the dark? Invisible horror dominated the field. Justine shouted, unbearably. "Open the door ..., open the door!"

A gap in the spherical stadium opens to follow the instructions. When it got brighter, I saw the sad appearance of the executives who were knocked down and couldn't move. How many Az did the dragon beat in this short time? It was overwhelming and strong. Justine stepped back, stiffening his face.

"This ... this shouldn't be allowed ...!"

The dragon flew with recoil when he released the steel frame he had in his hand. I look up at him with my eyes. Justine shouted to swear revenge.

"I will be sure to unveil you!"

As if he couldn't hear such a voice, the dragon went out of the stadium through the gap between the units on the ceiling and disappeared somewhere. I kept looking at the empty space where he had disappeared into.

"Who are you……?"

-------------------

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dcx2NedPVBEdbfQaU-WC0pJMRmn20ASn7HSC0KY9R7E/edit?usp=sharing ~ Google Doc of the English-translated novel.

ryuutosobakasuhime.wordpress.com ~ English fan-site for Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime where translations, scans, and other content is posted.

#belle #belle movie #belle 2021 #ryuu to sobakasu no hime #ryu to sobakasu no hime #ryu #ryuu #studio chizu #hime #mamoru hosoda #竜とそばかすの姫

[eruhatesu]

CALL ME

Erwin Smith x fem reader (modern au - oneshot)

content warning: nsfw, masturbation, teasing (if you squint)

word count: 1.2k

AN: this is my first time writing. Not much action bc I'm still testing waters but we'll see hahaha. One shot. But if I get possessed again, I might make this a two shot. Banner drawn by me (click for crispier quality lol). Send me an ask for nsfw art reqs.

A week break. After a full year not seeing your family, you finally had a chance to go home to your hometown for 5 days. It’s the first time you’ll be away from your boyfriend Erwin Smith, a post-grad student studying further on History and Literature. You met him on a coffee shop you both get your daily morning coffee needs. He approached you first after 3 weeks of him seeing you almost everyday buying coffee nonchalantly, you stood out in the small crowd, unconsciously drawing him in on how you just didn’t care about everything else in the world.

One of the days you both had a non-toxic morning, he introduced himself with confidence thinking you might let him in your little non-eventful world. Of course you did. This man has caught your attention long before you caught his, you just didn’t bother giving much thought on any possibility because it felt really impossible to you having him for yourself. But since your first conversation with him, you knew he was the kind of person that does not require constant assurance to be in a relationship with. It’ll be fine, you thought to yourself. You don’t need much maintenance as well since you focus on getting your degree too.

It’s the third day on your trip home and a full day has passed without having any message from Erwin. You were sitting at a family dinner at home and you just took your last bite as you sip a bit of wine that pairs well with the meal you just had. You were having a good time listening to stories and light laughter your family was having but your mind suddenly trails off on reasons why you received not a single text from him. Knowing how busy he was on his papers, you thought to yourself you should be more mature and considerate. He might be a few years your senior but you both had been in good terms for months in your relationship just by having little updates about each other whenever you’re not together since for you and Erwin, physical touches and personal conversations weigh more than anything. So why are you feeling uneasy and very eager to know what he’s doing? You know he won’t text you constantly either if you’re just around the campus or miles away. You actually questioned yourself why were you longing if you completely know how distant as a person he is from the start.

Checking the clock it was 9:32. You stared at the black of your phone as it rests on your lap hidden from everyone, hoping it will light up since you figured he might be finally back on his apartment after a long day with his team. Few more sips and your phone buzzed:

9:41 Erwin.

You busy?

Finally you let out a silent sigh on your chest. You noted the lack of punctuation and a sentence not properly formed. He never did shortcuts even in an emergency.

You paused for a second not knowing what to reply since you’re actually in the middle of something. Before you can grip your phone to reply it lit up again.

9:42 Erwin.

I’ll call.

You reminded yourself, this is not like him. He does not call at all unless it’s very important. For the past days, all you guys did was texted one another and for you, it really was enough. Not a second after, your phone buzzed silently.

Calling: Erwin.

You panicked and stared for a second but considering the way he texted, you slide to answer the call right away. Hiding your phone on your side, you excused your self from the table

“Excuse me, my professor’s calling.” You thought to yourself what an ugly lie. Why would a professor call at night during a break.

You walked fast to the bathroom and calmly locked the door behind you.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing. I just want to talk.”

“Huh- that’s new.”

You sensed with his tone, he had a lot of stress today. Maybe they had a few bad news with their paper.

“I meant, I just want you to talk.”

You noticed he’s talking roughly. Like he was running while on the call.

“What do you mean?”

No actual response. You just hear him breathing loudly. Panting. You got worried.

“Erwin, what the fuck’s going on?”

He still continues to pant.

“Erwin?”

He moans sharply.

It now struck your brain what he was really doing.

“That’s right, babe keep calling me.”

Relieving himself was actually the last thing you thought he’d be doing once you’re away since you knew this man for almost a year now and you know very well how he can control himself on all matters.

You audibly scoffed on your realization. Smile drew to your face and you can’t believe that his heat reaches your cheeks through the thought that someone like you can do this to a man like him.

“Erwin, don’t tell me you’re actually doing what I think you’re doing.”

He grunted without actually understanding what you’re saying.

“Hm- just keep talking. You’re doing good.” Words were rolling as he continues to pant and moan as you stayed on the other line silently grinning to yourself thinking of what he looks like on his couch helpless without you doing what he’s doing for him. You hear him breathe roughly as he fucks his hand with the thought of you. You felt powerful considering how this man who towers next to you when you’re together, literally calling for you just to feel like you’re there with him.

You leaned back to the sink as you listen. You were feeling heat on your stomach as well wishing you were the one making him have these heavenly sounds you’re hearing.

“Y/N…”

“Yes, babe?”

“Please…”

“Fine. I just thought you’re doing fine yourself back there”

“Y/N fuck I miss you. Keep talking”

You chuckled in response.

“I didn’t know you’ll miss me this much. I’ll be back soon.”

You closed your eyes trying to focus on how you’re picturing him again on his couch, probably still in his shirt, few top buttons unbuttoned paired with slacks, sitting lazily, head thrown back as he listens to you. Just as you were starting to reach below to relieve the heat that you were starting to feel for yourself, he grunted sharply for the last time then the call dropped from the other line.

You stared at your phone as it goes back to your homescreen. “What the-“ you whispered to your self. Stopping yourself from crushing your phone with your tightening knuckles, you breathed out and propped yourself up to fix your dress. You noticed your eyebrows still slightly woven from the fact that you were almost there with him as you fix a strand of hair in front of the mirror.

As you go out of the bathroom clicking the door close slowly, your phone buzzed again.

Calling: Erwin.

You swiped to answer. Puzzled, you thought he was done with his business with you for the night.

“I’ll come pick you up.” He said without asking if you’ll agree.

You just breathed out as a response. You were thinking if you should cut your break short but you both wouldn’t want that.

“Stay with me for a while?” It sounded more like an order than a question.

“Erwin, this is 3 hours away.”

“I’ll be there in 2.”

The call dropped again. Headlights did appear in your street in two.

#Erwin Smith #erwin smith x reader #eru writes #snk smut #aot smut #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #aot imagines #aot fics #erwin smith x fem reader

[faeriejukyung]

True Beauty’s Gaping Mother Wound

*disclaimer*: I understand that all the listed traits are things which are often very common in Asian households, and it may seem that rather than being concerning, these are just a part of Asian culture. That is why, I feel that it’s necessary for me to make it clear that I am, in fact, Asian (Indian to be specific), and parental abuse is something that is extremely normalized here. As someone who has experienced it firsthand, I want to say that just because something is common/normal, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is correct. If you or anyone you know is in a situation like that, it’s very very important to speak out. And it’s not your fault, i know it’s easier to believe that way but it’s really not. We deserve to be in a loving environment, regardless of what culture we are born in.

Throughout the drama, Jukyung’s mother shows many traits of an abusive mother. I have been able to outline 4 of them. I don’t mean to write her off as an evil character,, because overall she is well intentioned, and just like any other mom, she does love Jukyung. This is shown in episode 8 too, where she shows remorse for her actions. That however, doesn’t justify her abusive behavioral patterns in any way. Because we can see how badly it affects Jukyung, her self esteem and her overall view of herself.

-

Act 1: “I’m going to kill you today and go to jail” -- Physical Violence.

Throughout the series, we see Jukyung's mother being very violent. But one scene which particularly stood out to me was the scene where she finds out about Jukyung's dad getting scammed. (in episode 1). While it is true that her dad caused a huge financial loss to the family, and anyone would feel angry in a situation like that, it is also true that there is never a good reason to physically abuse someone.

After hearing the news, Jukyung's mom is overcome by anger. It's completely okay to feel frustrated, but the way she violently jumped at her husband, clearly intentioned to hurt him, and the way she needed to be held back by juyoung and heekyung highlights her abusive nature. And this isn't a one time thing where she momentarily lost control of herself. She constantly shows similar behavioural traits throughout the drama.

In the scene where we see Jukyung's mom and dad together properly for the first time, their relationship dynamic is established. He's meekly massaging her shoulders while she orders him around. Their is an obvious power imbalance in the relationship, and the way Jukyung's dad cowers in fear around Jukyung's mom is a proof of that.

-

Act 2: "Why would you kill my precious son?" -- Conditional Love.

We see examples of Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love in the kdrama AND in the webtoon. Conditional love is when a parent or a parental figure makes their child compete for love. They withhold their affection until the kid acts in ways that are desirable to them, and if the kid fails to do so, the parent often punishers them through different methods. This is their way of maintaining control over their children.

Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love manifests itself in the form of favoritism towards her eldest daughter Heekyung, who’s not only conventionally beautiful but also very smart and has a high paying job, and towards her youngest child and only son, Juyoung, who is also written to be very attractive. Both Juyoung and Heekyung have gifts that Jukyung does not posses -- beauty and brains. The conditions that are established in order to attain their mother’s affection are getting good grades at school, and being conventionally attractive, which is why Jukyung often gets the shorter end of the stick

In the scene where we are first meet Heekyung is the drama, their mom’s affection towards her is very evident.

This is shown in the webtoon too.

She displays this favoritism towards Juyoung too, and even more so. In episode 1 where Jukyung tries makeup for the first time, and gets ridiculed by him for doing a bad job at it, she naturally feels angry and yells at him, “do you want to die?!”, but instead of telling Juyoung to stop, their mother yells at Jukyung for yelling at Juyoung (”why would you kill my precious son? why?”). It’s already very evident that Juyoung has picked up the habit of constantly taunting Jukyung for her face from his mom. In the webtoon, when Jukyung decides that she wants to pursue makeup arts and asks for her mom’s support and fees for academy, her mom flat-out refuses, saying that they don’t have enough money. However as we find out later, money wasn’t the problem, because she had enough money to send Juyoung to a cram school for acting.

I find it hard to believe that any good parent would constantly compare their children and pit them against each other like this. In the webtoon and the kdrama, it is made clear that Juyoung doesn’t have particularly good grades either, but he doesn’t have to face his mother’s wrath by the virtue of being good looking. Jukyung on the other hand, does not have any redeeming qualities.

-

Act 3: “I’m going to throw all your makeup away” --Excessive Anger.

Another sign of parental abuse is display of excessive anger. It’s usually used as an intimidation tactic to keep the child in line. Sometimes, it can simply happen because they lose control of themselves. Either way, parents who get angry more often than what is supposed to be normal, and hurt their children (physically or verbally) in the midst of their anger, repeatedly, are abusive. I feel like I don’t even need to elaborate on this one. Jukyung’s Mom is angry during half of her scenes. And the way she acts upon that anger crosses the limit too. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to express your the way you feel, but the way Jukyung’s Mom does it, is extremely unhealthy and hurtful to others around her. Whether she’s jumping on Jukyung’s dad or talking down on Im Jukyung, she’s very inconsiderate of how her anger affects others. She almost always expresses herself in an extremely volatile way.

Jukyung described makeup as a hopeful light opening up a new life for her. There’s even a whole music segment of her discovering the powers of makeup, characterized by pastel and bubblegum tones, and the segment has a magical feel to it. Suffice to say that makeup brought an almost magical kind of hope and optimism to her life. In episode 6, Jukyung's Mom goes to her school to get her report card. When she sees her low grades, she gets so angry that she threatens to throw away her makeup, without once considering why Jukyung is so attached to it. In my eyes, she's actually very similar to Soojin's dad who also uses intimidation and physical violence to keep his daughter in line. If we put the same background music for the scenes where we see Jukyung's Mom threatening her, as the ones where Soojin's dad abuses her, they'd practically be identical. The only difference is that the show often plays Jukyung's Mom's behavior as a joke.

In episode 7, after seeing that Jukyung didn't improve as much as she wanted her to, she actually threw away all her makeup. Even though Jukyung did try, and did improve, it still wasn't enough for her mom. Jukyung's restlessness after not seeing her makeup on her table was palpable through the screen. Finding out that her mother threw all her makeup away sort became her breaking point. We see her yell at her mother and express her feelings for the first time.

I think it's important to note that Jukyung, who's already finds it very tough to reach out to her courageous side, was inspired by this incident to stand up to her mom, to express her outrage. Saying that makeup meant a lot to her is an understatement.

-

Act 4: "What's the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on if you're ugly underneath?" -- Verbal Abuse.

We all get into arguments with our parents from time to time, and I’m sure we’ve all been yelled at by them at some point. Verbal abuse however, is not something that is normal, and the two shouldn’t be confused. A parent who constantly humiliates their child, yells and screams at them, talks down on them is in simple terms, an abuser. 

In episode 1, when Jukyung tries makeup on for the first time and goes to school, she gets ridiculed by her bullies and her classmates. Crestfallen, she returns back home after school and goes to her mother for reassurance. Instead of providing that, her mother ridicules her even more and calls her makeup “Ghost Makeup”. This is something abusers often do. Under the guise of teasing the victim, they often attack the victim’s self esteem, appearance etc, to make them feel insecure and to maintain their position of power over them. Jukyung’s mother isn’t very different from those bullies who told Jukyung that she was ugly and made her feel like she could never amount to anything. 

Another example that irks me a lot is from episode 3, when Jukyung’s Mom is chewing her out for being late, and suddenly the conversation turns to cosmetics and makeup. This is also one of the traits of verbal abuse. Instead of arguments surrounding the basic issue, they branch out and turn into character assassination. Her mom accuses Jukyung of wasting all her time on makeup instead of studying, even when Jukyung clarifies that she got late because she missed her bus, not because she was out buying cosmetics. But her mom doesn't listen and says to her, “What’s the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on when you’re still ugly underneath?” 

Jukyung’s face after hearing her own mother say that was heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this type of mother-daughter relationship dynamic isn’t something  that is rare. Mothers frequently project their own insecurities on their daughters and put them down. Jukyung’s Mother’s behavior explains her self esteem issues, it gives an insight about where her insecurities really stem from. Sometimes our abuser’s thoughts and image of us start maligning our own self image. Frequently hearing them tell us that we are worthless, and that no one will ever marry us or love us, makes us believe that we are in fact, worthless and incapable of being loved unless we change something about ourselves. We frequently get an insight into how Jukyung thinks of herself throughout the drama. 

“It’s not my fault that I was born dumb” (In episode 7, after finding out that her mother threw away her makeup.)

“You know that I’m messed up” (In episode 2, referring to her face, while asking Lee Suho to keep her bare face a secret)

The drama is yet to end so I don’t want to completely write Jukyung’s Mother off as an abuser. I hope she becomes a better mom in the show, I really do. Because Jukyung deserves a loving mother. And Jukyung's mom does in fact have a few redeeming qualities, however, simply love and caring isn’t enough, you need mutual respect, reassurance and effort in each every relationship. We know that Jukyung’s mother is also often labelled as an ugly woman, and she believes that she could only get by through studying well. (“It’s going to be okay as long as you study well” - episode 1). In a world where a woman either has to a exceptionally beautiful to be considered worthy, or be exceptionally intelligent and professional lest she isn’t blessed by beauty, it’s very easy to internalize self hatred and direct it on to other individuals (especially if those individuals are your children). That is why i genuinely find myself rooting for Jukyung’s mother and hoping for a character development arc -- because i understand where she comes from, and because i can empathize with her. 

-

Fin.

#kdrama #true beauty #true beauty kdrama #true beauty webtoon #webtoon #true beauty meta #kdrama meta #webtoon meta #im jukyung #lim jugyeong #im jugyeong #lim jukyung #han seojun #lee suho #kang sujin #kang soojin #team suho #team seojun #hwang in yeop #manhwa #mun gayoung #cha eunwoo #park yoona #korean dramas #asian drama #tvn #tvn drama #my id is gangnam beauty #hotel del luna #meta

[glam0ur]

what i love about each zodiac sign!!

capricorn: you are so graceful. you make big things seem small. you are self reliant and the self control you hold is out of this world. YOU are in control YOU have the power. you know how to switch your emotions on and off and you know how to keep your head in the game. you walk around with your head high, like nothing can stop you. it’s fascinating to say the least. there’s a time and place for everything with you and when it’s time to have fun you know how to get down. you inspire everyone around you. being loved by you is an experience like no other. you are a gem never forget it.

aquarius: this is your world and everyone else just lives in it. you have so much to say. so much to share. we don’t deserve all the knowledge you provide. everything you say makes sense. you are smart. as fuck. everyone leaves with something after being around you. you speak your mind like no other, where you stand will always be known. you like to make things clear. you are brutally honest and straightforward. people will know exactly how you feel about them. you are strong willed and you make your mark. you’re always ready to help and honestly you are just a force of nature not to be reckoned with.

pisces: you are the softness that we need in this world. you are art, you are magic. there is so much parts of yourself that you hide but someone can see how special you are from miles away. your brain is GOLD, i know you could write a best selling novel with all that goes on in there. you have so much to show to the world. you are a great friend AND lover. you feel everything to the core which allows you to create the most beautiful things. you deserve ALL the flowers and praise. you are a dreamer and so creative. i would love to hear about anything you have to say. i know you pay attention. you are a walking angel but don’t forget it’s okay to put yourself first. 

aries: you have everything it takes to go as far as you want in life. you are confident, fierce, determined, unapologetic and you do not let people get away with any sort of bs. you’re impulsive but like in the best way possible!!?? you’re not afraid to take risks and you know how to make anyone/anything your bitch. your energy is loud, do not silence it for anyone. there is a very sweet side to you. you are selective & you choose people in your circle very wisely so it is literally an HONOUR to know you.

taurus: you see beauty in anything and in everyone. there is no one like you. people naturally gravitate towards you, you’re like a human magnet. you’re so grounded  and down to earth, talking to you just feels easy. you are honest, LOYAL, and not afraid to speak your mind. you make people want to get their shit together. you give such great advice, people can talk to you for hours and you make them feel so safe. you know how to listen and how to pay attention. you are reliable and you always THINK before you act. you know how to put yourself in someone else's shoes. you lay yourself out on the table when in love and you love HARD. you pour your heart in everything. you’re the glue that holds a lot of people together. 

gemini: you are probably the most interesting person to be around. you’re the type of person to have a different story time every day. you make anything sound interesting. no one gets bored around you. you have something to say about anything. you are smart and so so so adaptable. you can get along with literally any type of person. change does not scare you. you are fearless and it’s so admirable. you are the life of the party and extremely fun. haters really don’t see how layered you are and it’s their fucking loss. there’s so much depth to you, only the real ones are lucky enough to witness it. 

cancer: your presence feels like the warmest hug. you are always there for people and such fucking true friend. people feel instant comfort around you without you having to say much. your heart is so pure. which is why you can make instant connections and the bonds you form with people are genuine. you look like MONEY without even trying, but fr, how????? your exterior always matches your interior and it’s SEXY. you’re not afraid to get ugly if you smell even a hint of disrespect and if there’s one thing you’ll do it’s stand up for yourself and the people you love. no matter what. you deserve the most luxurious things in life. 

leo: oh my god you are so powerful and captivating. you know how to keep the attention on you. you know your worth and you will not shrink yourself for ANYBODY. you have no problem taking up all the space in a room and you leave everyone around you in awe. you work hard and you know exactly what you want. you are so badass, a great problem solver and just overall a multi talented bomb. amazing storyteller and can we also talk about how funny you are???? if you needed a reminder this is it because damn you’re really that person everyone looks up too. so freaking bright. 

virgo: your worth ethic is like no other. you know how to get shit done to absolute perfection. you deserve ALL the recognition. you are detail oriented and you don’t play about your craft. don’t let anyone undermine you. you are SO loyal even with all the shit you have going on and the weight on your shoulders. the same way you treat your work and your craft is the same way you treat those around you that you love. you know how to make anyone feel special and valued and you make sure to water those relationships the same way you expect it to be done to you. and it should because you DESERVE it. you work so hard. let yourself breathe and take a break at times. and don’t you even worry because God knows if anyone can do it it’s you. 

libra: you are a light in a dark room. you are so damn likable. hours with you feel like minutes. you can flip someone’s bad mood in a matter of seconds. you’re so naturally funny, charismatic, positive and social. no wonder people fall in love with you in a blink of an eye. you never take things too seriously, you live in the moment, you know exactly how to completely change the mood in a awkward room. you don’t change yourself for no one and you live life by YOUR rules. leaving everyone in your circle HOOKED. i don't know why anyone wouldn’t wanna be around you. you’re so open minded, it’s hard to feel judged around you. literally the sun in human form 

scorpio: i know sometimes you feel like your too real for this earth. it’s true. most people don’t deserve you. you’re as real as they come. you love and feel so deeply and people who get to experience that side of you are lucky as fuck. you are smart and careful and you always make sure that your voice is heard no matter how it makes you look. you don’t play about your feelings, and your loved ones ever and i honestly pray for the people who cross you. i know it can get overwhelming feeling like you have to be there for everybody and sometimes you feel misunderstood so be careful who you spend your energy on because you are so so so special. there is this crazy radiating energy surrounding you. 

sagittarius: your confidence is so attractive. people notice you the second you walk into a room. you are fierce without having to do much. when you talk, people listen. you can make someone look more attractive just by being around them. you’re fun, you’re always there for a good time, your free spirit is fucking contagious and you don’t let anyone take that away from you. you don’t let things affect you for too long but at the same time you know when and how to put your foot down even if that means breaking a few hearts. 

#writing the taurus part was so weird it felt like i was talking to myself #this took me like 4 hours lool #Zodiac Signs #zodiac #air signs #water signs #earth signs #fire signs #4 elements #astrology #astrology posts #moon signs #Sun Signs #rising sign #birth chart #capricorn #aquarius #Pisces #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #saggitarius #taurus moon #i tried #horoscope

[ybangtannies]

Hi, good luck with your blog! I've just discovered it and I can't wait for your content. As for request... I would like to read about artist Tae where MC is dared to pose nude and Tae fall in love with her, or MC having a bf so she pose nude as a present for him but Tae (obssesed) blackmail her whereas he will show her picture to the public if she don't leave her bf...

Hello! Thank you so much for your request and sorry for taking long to answer, I had a lot of ideas of what to write so it took me a little to actually get to write it but here it is! I changed it a little, I hope that’s okay and you like it.

Masterlist

Word count: 3.3k

Taehyung has been an artist for several years, he started up by taking photos of landscapes he thought were pretty and painting simple things until he got where he is now: one of the most claimed painters of the country; he still likes photography and keeps painting nature sceneries but the reason why he is so famous and well-known is because of his portraits, his nude portraits. He doesn’t just paint whoever is willing to pay him, though, he just accepts if he finds the person to be worth it of both his time and his eyes, at the end of the day, who would like to look at an ugly naked body, having to memorize it and then paint it as if it was something beautiful? People call him arrogant, a snob, frivolous…and well, maybe he is but look at where that got him so he’s not complaining nor he’s about to change it. He’s an artist so who can be better than him to judge what is art and what is not?

It’s been a rough week, not even one out of all the people that has been going to his studio was worth his time and he’s worried that maybe somehow, he has already painted all the beautiful people in the whole country. That worrisome dispels one evening when he is about to leave his studio and call it a day and you appear at his door; you with a shy smile and so much light in your eyes, you dressed in a casual outfit but still showing that you put effort into looking good (not that you really needed to put much effort though), you that speaks in such an angelic voice and calls his name in the sweetest tone he has ever heard before.

“Hello, is this Vante’s studio?”

“Yeah, it’s- that’s me, yes”. He finds himself at a loss of words, something that never ever happened to him, normally it would be the opposite and he would be the one making people not be able to speak even a simple phrase when in his presence. He swallows and thinks about how his hyungs would mock him if they saw him like this.

“Uhm, can I come in? I would like to talk to you about a possible job?” You are looking at him expectantly and he gets lost momentarily in your eyes once again until he is finally able to get a hold of himself and move to the side you could come in.

You smile brightly and move inside his studio while he closes the door and takes a deep breath in hopes of clearing his mind enough to be able to attend your request how you deserve.

“So, what is it that I can do for you, beautiful?”

You stop looking at the numerous paintings and sculptures that occupy his studio and turn to look at him with a light blush adorning your cheeks.

“I would like for you to paint a portrait of me…naked”, you say the last word in a whisper, so low he wouldn’t have been able to hear it if it wasn’t for the place being totally silent.

Taehyung looks at you from head to toe, out of reflex, with curiosity and maybe already imagining you naked, totally exposed for his eyes only. When he finally moves his eyes to your face, he takes pride in seeing the blush in your cheeks is now more noticeable than before.

“Of course, love, it would be pleasure. For when do you want it?”

“Oh, really? That’s a relief, I heard you were quite…refined when choosing your clients… so I was a little hesitant if you would accept my offer, I’ve been a fan of your work for some years now, I really love the way you portray the beauty of the people you paint and don’t even get me started with you sculptures, sometimes it feels like they’re actual people looking at you with how rough their emotions are- oh God! I’m sorry I’m rambling, I’m just pretty nervous and excited about finally meeting you and- I’m doing it again, am I not? I’m so…”

“No, please, stop apologizing. It’s okay, it’s really cute, you can keep praising me”. Taehyung smirks at you, he looks amused at your spur of compliments and your opinion on his art. He really wasn’t one for hearing people praise his works or him for they more than not did it with the purpose of getting in his pants but there’s something about the way you talked…it drives him crazy, he wants to keep listening to you talk for hours on end. “And yes, you’re right about the part of me being refined when I decide who I want to paint and that’s exactly why I accepted your offer, you’re exquisite yourself, I would be a fool to reject you, love.” He can’t stop himself, it’s like he doesn’t have any filter and just says everything that comes to his mind, or almost everything.

“Thank you then, Vante.”

“Taehyung, please, that’s my actual name.”

“Okay, Taehyung,” you smile once again and he feels his heart skip a beat, “and answering your question: I’d need to portrait for the end of the month? That’s when my boyfriend’s birthday is, and I want it to be a gift for him.”

Boyfriend.

A fucking boyfriend.

Taehyung’s posture becomes stiff and the smile on his face falls a little, not enough for you to notice, though, but he can feel rage starting to form on his body. So, you’re not for his only it seems, but a lot of things can change in three weeks, right?

“That’s completely okay, we’ll have to meet quite a lot, though, for me to be able to have it on time. I hope that’s not a problem?”

“Not at all. But I thought I would only need to come for a couple of sessions and then you would finish the portrait on your own?”

“I like having the model in front of me from the beginning until the end of the process, so I can fully portray their emotions when posing and their bodies just the way they are.”

Lies.

All lies.

He’s actually very quick with his works, needing only two weeks on top to have them done and obviously he doesn’t need the model to be there the whole time. It’s all bullshit but you don’t need to know that.

“Ah, I understand. I like that, you’re so dedicated with your work. So when can we start, then?”

“That I am, love. Tomorrow works for you? The sooner, the better. I’ll probably need you to come thrice a week.”

“Sure, that works for me, sounds perfect. So tomorrow in the morning, at eleven o’clock?” You look so cute, so beautiful, so eager to start working on it and Taehyung finds himself with a bittersweet taste in his mouth at the thought, of course he is dying to see you naked but he doesn’t want to paint you for your boyfriend. “Oh, and what about the prize?”

“Sounds good. And don’t worry about the prize now, we’ll get to that when I have your portrait completely done.”

You nod your head, smiling kindly at him and start walking towards the door. Taehyung follows you, once again checking you out and damning your boyfriend in his mind for being able to call you his when the fucker is sure not worth even of your time. He’d like to make any excuse to keep you for a longer time there with him, just talking about your lives and getting to know each other but he has three weeks to do that and right now he needs to make an urgent call.

Right before you’re about to leave, he asks for your phone number in case something comes up and any of you have troubles making it to one of the appointments. Bullshit once again but now he has a way to contact you.

Taehyung closes the door and presses his forehead against it, breathing deeply and already tracing a plan in his mind to make you his, as you should be. You’re ethereal, a goddess and you truthfully belong by his side. With that thought in mind, he takes his phone and dials a number. The person at the other end of the call answers almost instantly.

“Yeah, Tae? What is it?”

Taehyung smiles hearing the voice of his friend.

“Hey, Jimin. I need you.”

The next days are a complete blur for both of you and Taehyung and before you notice it’s already been three weeks and the birthday of your boyfriend is upon you.

As Taehyung said, he asked you to visit him thrice a week and made you stay with him from morning until almost night; the first times it was a little awkward for you: getting there, disposing all your clothes and just posing for hours on end naked in front of Taehyung with barely any words shared in between you both. Taehyung made a huge effort in being as slow as he could when painting you, paying an excruciating attention to every curve of your body, touching you here and there (maybe more than he really needed to, but who can blame him? You’re precious) and obsessing over you to limits he didn’t think was possible. Taehyung finally got you to open to him, to start talking about your life, your job, your stupid boyfriend, your passions. Everything, he made you talk about every single aspect of your life and by now he probably knew you better than your own mother. You eventually started eating with him at his studio and surprised yourself spending more time than you should with clothes than without them.

Finally, the last day arrived, Taehyung had finished your portrait and needless to say, it was absolutely perfect. You could recognize yourself, of course, but were still astonished at how pretty he made you look, all your curves were so soft, you never knew someone would look at you and see that. But Taehyung did, he was more than proud of his work for it was by far the best of his large collection; he doesn’t think he was able to truly make you justice, you were way too stunning to actually portray that in a simple painting but it was pretty close to the real thing.

And so, your paths separated. You gave your boyfriend the portrait and he loved it, everything was fine in your life and you were happy, sometimes you got messages from Taehyung asking about your day and the opinion of your boyfriend on the painting but that’s it.

On the other hand, Taehyung was miserable. He misses you terribly. As he suspected, he hasn’t been able to accept any requests for more portraits, too captivated with the memories of you and your body still fresh in his head. But he had a plan to make you come back to him again, he just needed to be patient, just a little more.

And it’s been almost two weeks when, in the middle of the night, he receives a phone call with your name and the first thing he hears when answering is your sobbing and incoherent words. Taehyung smirks, fully awake now, sitting in his bed. He tries to calm you, acting worried and asking what is that has you in such distress. He’s able to make out the words ‘boyfriend’, ‘fight’, ‘photos’ and you asking if you can go to his house. Taehyung accepts almost immediately, getting out of bed so he can get dressed and go pick you up. You reject his offer, explaining that you need time to clear your head and the walk will help you; he doesn’t have any option that agrees even if the idea of you walking alone at three in the morning doesn’t appeal to him at all.

Twenty minutes later, Taehyung is in his kitchen making some tea when he hears a soft knock on his door and smiling cheerfully goes to open you. His smile, though, disappears the moment he sees you: you’re no longer crying but your eyes are red and puffy, and your hair is a complete mess. He is quick to hug you and puts you as close to his body as he can, trying to comfort you at the best of his abilities.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, everything will be fine.” You just stand there in his arms, letting him hug you, with your eyes closed and hearing the softness in his voice, helping you calm your nerves just a little. “Do you want some tea while you tell me what happened?”

You just nod your head and follow him through his apartment, not really paying much attention to your surroundings. Your mind is racing and your hands clutching an envelope against your chest with such strength that your knuckles have turned white.

“Here you go, love”, says Taehyung while offering you a cup of tea. You whisper a simple ‘thank you’ before taking a sip, still grabbing the envelope with one hand. “Do you want to talk now?”

Taehyung sees you struggling, he can almost hear the gears in your head moving and how you are trying to find the words to speak so he stays quiet, giving you all the time of the world until you’re ready to start talking. After what seems like hours for you, you are able to raise your eyes from the table and search for his eyes though you can maintain the look for more than three seconds before your eyes are fixed again on the table.

“I… I’m sorry I’m breaking into your house at this hour, but I didn’t know where else to go or who to call but you...”You look at Taehyung again and see him already looking at you intently, making you swallow and taking another sip of your tea. “My boyfriend received this envelope this morning, he confronted me when I got home from work in the evening and started calling me names and saying not so nice things to me. He- he broke up with me, didn’t even let me explain anything and just started throwing things and he broke the portrait and kept screaming at me, not giving me any chance to talk and then he… he kicked me out of our apartment.”

At this point you were already crying again, and Taehyung can feel his heart shattering into million pieces by seeing you so sad and broken. He cursed your boyfriend, now ex, in his mind and with a worried frown got next to you in order to be able to hold you in his arms again. He was already addicted to the feeling of your body pressed to his, feeling the warmth radiate from you and realizing just how perfect you fit against his figure. He can’t let you go. Never.

“Sh, deep breaths, baby, okay? Breath slowly for me, calm down.” He rubbed your back, feeling you grabbing his t-shirt like your life depended on it and Taehyung absolutely loved that idea.

Some minutes pass by, you trying to calm your sobbing, and Taehyung whispering sweet nothings against your head.

“Can you tell me what the argument was about? What is in that envelope that made your boyfriend so mad?” Taehyung finally asks after you managed to stop crying, he puts some distance between your bodies, enough to see your face and still keeps his arms around your waist.

“It’s… there are photos inside…of us. Of me, naked in front of you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Taehyung, I don’t know how this happened. I can’t comprehend how someone managed to take those disgusting pictures and made it seem as if I was going to sleep with you. And now my boyfriend thinks I’m a whore that cheated on him and he blocked my number and won’t open the door to the apartment, and I don’t know what to do.”

Taehyung keeps silent, thinking about what you just said and turning his gaze to the envelope that now remains on the table. He looks back at you as if asking if he can take a look himself and you just nod softly, not being able to look at him while Taehyung takes it and proceeds to see the photos.

Indeed, they led you to think that something was about to happen in between them, there are plenty of photos of you taking your clothes, smiling at him while naked, moving around his studio in just a shirt, and so on. All of them were taken from the street, from outside and all of them have a clear purpose: destroy both his and your lives.

“Has anyone seen them apart from you and your boyfriend? Are there more copies?”

“No, not that I know at least.”

“I really hope you’re right. We can’t let anyone see these, okay? We have to destroy them.”

Taehyung is serious when talking, looking a little distressed himself and you feel even worse about dragging him with you in this mess.

“I know… I’m really sorry this is happening, Taehyung. I never thought someone would follow me and take those photos, and I’m sorry this is involving you too.”

Taehyung frowned a little at your words, you thought someone could have followed you? For him, it would make more sense to be the other way around: a person he rejected or one of the multiple girls he fucked and never called again trying to mess with him now, trying to ruin his career by making it seems as if he wasn’t professional enough and couldn’t help but getting in the pants of his clients. It could potentially ruin him, no one would ever trust him enough to paint another portrait if those photos see the light of the day.

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart, please stop apologizing. I’m sorry if I was a little harsh, I wasn’t expecting this to happen at all, I’m sorry. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Thank you so much, Tae. I truly cannot go to anyone else; all my friends are my boyfriend’s friends as well and I don’t think they’ll take my side on this.” The look on your face, so lost and troubled make him feel almost guilty about the whole situation.

“I understand, love. You can count on me, okay? You can stay with me here in my apartment if you want to, I have enough space.”

“Really? Could I?” Your facial expression changed to be one of relief that makes Taehyung heart jump in his chest and smile at you lovingly while caressing your cheek.

“Of course, love. You can stay here for as long as you want, nothing would make me happier than that. Come, you’ll have to sleep in my bed tonight, though, tomorrow I’ll tidy the room that would be yours.”

You nod in his direction, letting a yawn escape your mouth that almost makes Taehyung coo at you. He guides you to his bedroom, and searches for some clothes he can give you for you to change into. The thought of you dressed in his clothes, in his bed causes him to have problems keeping his breathing stable. While you are in the bathroom, Taehyung takes his phone to write a quick message.

Thank you so much, Jimin. It worked perfectly.

Right when he presses the send button, you enter his room again looking shyly in his direction with a sleepy expression. Taehyung locks his phone and smiles at you, guiding you both to his bed.

You reach out to him, asking for permission to hug him since you’re used to cuddle with something when sleeping and he doesn’t need to think twice until having his arms around you, your head pressed to his chest. He looks at the ceiling, feeling totally content with how things developed, sighing slightly when looking down and seeing you fast asleep already. The screen of his phone lights up but he pays it no mind, closing his eyes and falling asleep with you.

Anytime, Tae. Enjoy your prize ;).

#yandere taehyung #yandere bts #yandere hoseok #yandere jimin #yandere jungkook #yandere namjoon #yandere seokjin #yandere yoongi #yandere #bts #yandere au #taehyung au

[doctorguilty]

I hadn't mentioned this yet but. I'm going to talk about it now

Cw talk of self harm (not graphic)

A few days after I put my two weeks notice in, a customer apparently noticed my self harm scars on my arms and went to the manager of the entire building I worked in and COMPLAINED. They said something about how my scars make them uncomfortable and make them not want to eat at the establishment.

The manager's response to this was to come to me and DEMAND I cover my scars with bandages because it "makes the company look bad." I stormed into the office, demanded to see an employee handbook, and pointed out there is nothing in writing that says I need to cover scars. They are not bleeding, they are not a food safety hazard in any way, nor breaching uniform/piercing/tattoo policy.

I was told I was "taking it too personally." I said it WAS personal, people need to mind their damn business, and it's discrimination. I never threw a fit so hard at work before, like, I was yelling. It took every ounce of restraint not to impulsively throw my hat on the ground like a cartoon character and quit on the spot (for personal reasons, I chose to finish my two weeks).

I've been thinking a lot about it, it's very haunting. Not just that my employer demanded such a thing from me, but the fact that a customer, seeing someone like me who clearly suffers from severe mental health issues, had the audacity to complain about my body simply existing in front of them. Someone really behaved that way.

I battle depression and I am a survivor of times I was close to losing, and that battle has not ended to this day. My scars, in various places on my body, often make me feel ugly and that in and of itself is a battle sometimes against my low self esteem.

I don't feel there is enough awareness and positivity for people who have self harm scars. We aren't represented a lot, and when we are, it's in a negative light, and for those of us who do try to represent ourselves, I've seen accusations from people on tumblr even that we're "romanticing" self harm. Simply by drawing ourselves or characters with self harm scars just, existing. Just having them on their body.

I think if other people's bodies make you uncomfortable, that's your problem, not mine.

So I just wanted to say, in light of that horrible event that happened to me I think it's something I want to explore more in my art and represent without shame. And I do hope maybe my art will have a positive or even inspirational impact to other people who struggle like I do. But if nothing else, I feel I want to express my right to exist and be represented positively.

Thank you for listening

#seth speaks #not looking for advice abt the work situation i am still actually looking into it #but other comments welcome #d0 n0t r3bl0g #for now.. might change my mind later