#lil bro cant get the fun pass anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

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the-acid-pear · 3 years

Text

I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

#luly talks #i hit character limit already waaa :(#but I'm too into this to stop reading lol #btg #this saga is a bit boring but el che is funny :)#baki liveblog

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neverdoingmuch · 3 years

Note

I’m here for the ‘swords not as pets�� agenda. Swords as cars: solid, get you from place to place, potentially dangerous, customizable, something people name. Wwx losing his license taking the fall for a mistake jc made (idk, dui maybe?) and just choosing to mod the hell out of a self-balancing scooter or segway or something so it goes dangerously fast. Alternatively: spending 3 months inventing the first functional actual levitating hoverboard, with an insane top speed. 3 months in the (1/2)

sawdfert this is delightful!! i saw segway and i immediately started wheezing,, there was no time for laughing i went straight to the wheezing. i think it would make more sense if wwx lost his car and got a motorcycle? like hoverboards and segways are cool but motorcycles have that big reputation of being dangerous and there’s the whole ‘rebellious teen gets a motorcycle and becomes a delinquent’ thing? like motorcycles are fast and if you crash it’s so much worse than if you were in a car and there’s no airbags or anything. but also?? wwx rocking up to school on a segway while playing his flute like the shittiest entrance ever? iconic. but let’s stick with chenqing as a motorcycle/scooter (motorcycle-esque scooter not the ones that try and take out your ankles).

okay so all the major sects are super rich so in a modern au it would make sense for all the sect heirs to get cars. i’m not saying that jc and wwx complain about jzx being stuck-up bc he was given a porsche for his birthday even though they were also given cars for their birthdays,,, but i am. at first it would have been this major point of contention between yzy and jfm bc wwx isn’t even their son so why is he getting a car too but wwx is like ah it’s so i can drive jc and jyl to school! you wouldn’t want their cars being left outside the school all day would you? someone in my maths class had their car get keyed and it was super expensive to fix,, and yzy is like yes wwx may have a car only to protect my children from parking hassles,, also wwx must pay for his own parking. so wwx and jc both get given cars for their bdays.

now wwx gets bored easily,, so you could translate him being a cultivation genius to him being really good at driving. im talking that jc is still getting the hang of switching gears and wwx is out there casually drifting around corners. (this does mean he has to get new tyres really frequently but he’s friends with wen ning, whose family runs the mechanics that wwx likes to go to so he just helps around the shop for a bit and gets a discount (yes its the family discount)). anyway wwx really enjoys driving, also! he just rocks up to wen ning’s place one day and is like dude, i wanna pimp my ride, wanna help and wen ning is like heck yeah. so wwx pays for some upgrades with his own money and he spends hours doing some custom work to make it look cool,,

it’s all going well until wwx and jc go to wen chao’s party one night and jc gets absolutely sloshed,,, like completely hammered. wwx had walked in, grabbed a cup of lemonade or something and was gonna hang with his friends but lwj was there for some reason so he spent the entire night talking to him in the back garden. which means that when jc wanted to leave he saw wwx hanging out with lwj and went ew gross and just decided to drive home himself. he crashes and when wwx comes home the next day jc gets super pissed at him bc he was meant to be the designated driver and if he hadnt been screwing around with lwj jc wouldnt have tried to drive home and now his parents will be super pissed and wwx is like woah chill my grandmother is a mechanic and she can fix this up just give me a couple of days.

so wwx goes to baoshan sanren mechanics (which is just the back entrance to the wen sibling’s mechanics) and spends the next three days getting rid of all of his customisations and mods so his car looks exactly like jc’s. does he cry when he has to spend like five mins spraying the inside of the car with axe body spray to get the jc stench going on? maybe a little. but he does it and returns the car to jc! and jc is like oh wow my car is fixed, your grandma is a miracle worker and wwx is like haha yeah (:

anyway wwx mysteriously and suddenly discovers a passion for public transport,, it’s a good way to stay humble jiang cheng, he says, also i used all my petrol money buying porn from nhs or whatever. anyway wwx is doing the whole pt to school thing but then one afternoon wen chao and wzh find him and idk maybe the party got too rowdy so the cops came and wc got in trouble with his dad? he assumes wwx called the cops on him so he shoves wwx into his car and drives him out to the middle of no where and dumps him in the burial mounds scrap metal recycling place or whatever.

the train line isn’t running that day and there’s no phone service either so wwx is stuck there overnight. he gets super bored. so what does he do? he finds an abandoned scooter and starts scavenging for parts. he’s not expecting it to actually work but by the time the sun rises he’s found some actually decent parts and he thinks that he could get it working. tbh he kinda forgets to go back home and just walks into town to buy some food and then goes back and continues fiddling with the scooter. he doesnt live there for the three months but the people in yiling just accept that this random teenager has all but moved into their scrap heap and adopt him anyway. so he goes and visits the burial mounds every day after school so none of his friends or family really see him anymore.

until! one day he rocks up to school on his scooter. scooters,, are kinda like sad pathetic motorcycles,, but wwx mods his scooter with like a powerful engine and new steering and everything so people see it and go oh! a motorcycle! even though it’s not actually (can you do that with a scooter? idk but suspend your disbelief pls). so lwj is like hnnngg wwx in a leather jacket on a motorcycle but also wei ying, stop riding a motorcycle, *enter statistics about motorcycle crashes here* and wwx is like no! you cant take chenqing away from me. and jc is pissed bc they were meant to be brothers and have matching cars and be able to work on them and give them cool paint jobs together! but now wwx has this bike which has been modded to hell and back and refuses to drive his car bc it’s not as cool as his bike. so we get to have the whole ‘everyone thinks wwx is doing something dumb and dangerous’ bc he has a motorcycle and why isnt he just driving his car anymore? but we also get to keep some of the nuance of the demonic cultivation bc yeah it’s more dangerous than driving in a car but wwx doesnt have a car anymore and scooters are a loottt safer than motorcycles (if my two seconds of research is correct).

so! wwx won’t abandon chenqing and he did most of his work using scrap parts so he goes back to the wens and is like wen ning my best bro check her out and he’s like oooooooh and they start modding chenqing together. wen qing doesnt know why wwx is constantly over at their shop all the time but jc keeps arguing with wwx and wwx grows more distant with his family and friends bc he’s making ~bad decisions~ and a motorcycle is a gateway to idk teen delinquent shenanigans like smoking and doing graffiti so he’s kinda ousted from respectable rich people society and wen qing is like i have two (2) brothers now and they’re adorable not that i’ll ever tell them that. and wwx modding chenqing got him a reputation in yiling like everyone saw him walk in one day and then drive out with this sexy sexy bike so people start coming to him for mods and stuff and wwx earns the title yiling patriarch and wen ning, his trusted best friend and helper, gets called the ghost general bc idk he helps a lot but the customers never meet him. so they become some dynamic duo for car and bike mods!

anyway,, yzy delivers him an ultimatum one day: the car or the bike (or more accurately: the family or the bike) but wwx can’t drive the car anymore so he just gets quietly disowned and drops out of school. (we’ll save jzxuan the suffering in this au he can keep his car). he goes to the wens and theyre like hey whats up? wait no you cant live in a scrap heap,, not even if you buy a tent,,, just live with us please. and then wwx gets adopted by the wens and idk i want them to have a happy ending so wwx and wn go off and do some actual mechanic and modding training with some expert (sqdcfgt imagine if it was the real baoshan sanren who just happened to be in the market for some apprentices and saw wwx and wn’s work and was like them and then later realised it was her grandson). so they get their apprenticeship and they disappear off somewhere for a year or two - when wwx had been disowned he’d deleted everyone’s contacts and was like if they text me i’ll add them back but im not gonna have a contact list cemetery. (no one contacts him).

eventually the 13 years pass and wwx has been helping the wens raise their little nephew a-yuan who is showing a real aptitude for being a mechanic even though he’s just a kid and just generally enjoying the quiet life of being a mechanic while doing fun mods and lil baby projects. then one day lwj’s car breaks down while he’s driving through the area and he calls up the local mechanic and guess who rocks up? it’s wwx. and then we get to have them dance around each other and wwx being like lwj doesnt trust me, he’s just sitting here and watching me work all day ): and lwj is like dont let him go dont let him go dont let him go,, and eventually they get their romance but this is way too long already so im im gonna end this here

i didnt mean to make this an entire au but i adored your idea so much anon so i kinda had to!!

#mdzs #modao zushi #wei wuxian #wangxian #lan wangji #wen ning #wen qing #my aus #asks #cql #the untamed #i might come and add a read more later but i dont have time now sorry!#Anonymous

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mynameisminhooooo · 4 years

Text

They get to spend all of quarantine with their s/o (Monsta X)

Request : Hi!! Could you do an exo and/or Monsta x reaction to getting to spend all of quarantine with you?

Sorry I put in bullet points bc it's felt like it made more sense? Sorry if you didn't like that. I also included what y'all would do. Bc why not¿

Shownu :

Omg this precious little bear was beyond excited to spend quarantine

Like as soon as his manager said plans were cancelled until further notice he ran out of the practice room

"Y/n I'm staying with you during quarantine..."

"Oh. Aight"

Your guy's quarantine consisted of laying in bed from the moment you woke up till 4 pm

As well as making a lot of food

And taking baths bc social distancing who?

Leads to other things 34% if the time, bc why not??

And of course singing together and him teaching you how to dance to all the songs

Cooking with this dude, where do I start

100% chance of making a mess

Would knock over bowls of side dishes while trying to grab a towel to wipe his hands

Just smiled at you when the food is all over the ground

Talking to the other members over the phone during dinner so it was like you guys were all eating together

Taking food to the other members and leaving it on the doorstep

One time they came outside before he was able to run back to the car and he was convinced he was contaminated

You had to spray him with Lysol to make him feel better

Him just being a whole lil bear the whole time

You guys would go on walks when you'd feel couped up too much

Y'all would be that extremely cute ass couple during quarantine

"I'm so glad I got to spend my quarantine with you" he'd say while kissing your forehead

"I love you y/n"

"I love me too, but your cool too"

"That's not funny" cue pout

Wonho :

Would literally be so happy to spend time with you

Hasn't seen you in like 2 weeks because of his rigorous schedule

When he finally gets to you're guy's apartment he'd just drop all his stuff and run to you, wrapping you in the biggest hug

You guys would eat until you couldn't breath

Ordering take out everyday sometimes for all 3 meals

You guys would take an online art class because why not

Video chatting his family and ofc the members to make sure everyone was well and healthy

Calling his mom 3 times a day

Would be the person who stocks up on toilet paper

Disinfecting everything every morning

Singing karaoke every day after dinner

Doing workouts in the living room because you guys gained weight and he wanted to watch his gorgeous figure

You'd help him write lyrics

You guys would try to be productive and do fun things like read at least once every other day

He'd be so happy to spend time with you like omg

Would literally cry when he looked at you sometimes bc he just loves you that much

Your guy's favorite things to do was lay in bed in each other's arms

"I wish we could stay like this forever, I love you so much y/n"

"I love you too, but can you let me go I have to pee really bad"

Your guy's quarantine would honestly be so fun

Minhyuk :

Would honestly act like he didn't want to spend time with you

"I guess I'm stuck with you"

\(-_-)/

"Your so lucky to have me, huh because I bought food"

Supports every small business and buys from all of them so they'd keep going

"I'll have 3 jars of kimchi, 2 bowls of kimchi jjigae, just give me half of everything"

"Minhyuk where are we gonna put all this the fridge is full"

Gives almost all the food to his family and the members

Buys like 2,264 board games

"Hey, you wanna play Monopoly I'll let you win"

Once again \(-_-)/

Fights about the dumbest thing

"I wanted to buy boardwalk!"

Throws your character off the board

Another person who stocks up, but he bought all the ramen

Your guy's quarantine would be so unproductive honestly

Like you guys just sit around playing board games

Listening to music all day everyday

Going for walks when the sun went down

If he sees an animal on the street he is bringing it home for "safety reasons"

"Look y/n this poor pigeon was left on the street"

Did I mention \(-_-)/

"Minhyuk... It's a pigeon"

Dancing throughout the house

He broke the TV while doing a twirl

Blames it on the pigeon, who you guys have name Piggy

Trying on each others clothes

But at the end of the day he'd be so happy he could spend his quarantine with you and Piggy

"I guess your ok to spend time with..."

Kihyun :

He would be so happy to spend time with you

Would be the most precatious person

"Put on gloves y/n"

"I'm changing the channel..."

Would 10/10 spray down everything before you guys touch it

You guys baked a lot during quarantine

Burning almost everything

Would try to make jokes the whole time

They were not good...

He would try to teach you how to hit the highest notes

Him almost breaking the window

Singing together while reading

Would call every member every day to see how they were doing

You guys would try gardening together because you guys got bored

10/10 the type of dude to telling everyone to buy from small business

If he saw anyone in the street outside the window, he'd yell at them

"Get inside!"

"Do you want to die?!"

You guys would people watch

You guys tried everything possible to pass boredom

Yoga, Singing, Staring Contests

If you got sick would literally call an ambulance

"They want to know if you have a fever, are experiencing lethargy, or have a cough?"

"Kihyun I just have a stomach ache"

Would be so relieved when he just found out it was just gas

He would not let you leave the house

"I really care about you, I cant risk you getting sick"

"You do knows there is a 3% chance of death right"

"But I wouldn't be able to see you"

Wow, whatta man

Hyungwon :

He honestly would be one of those ppl who didn't take it very very serious

"You wanna go to the park?"

"We can barely leave our house to get food?!"

"Ok, loser"

Was happy to spend time with you, but he wanted to actually do things with you like go to dinner

He just wanted to spend quality time with you

You guys would just lay in each other's arms everyday watching TV

Blinds closed letting no light in

The members would call you guys because after 3 days of nothing they were worried

"Oh we're fine, we've just been eating, sleeping and watching TV"

You guys would watch watch every variety show they have been on

You guys would try dying your hair by yourselves

"Wow y/n this blue is really nice"

"Blue it was supposed to be lilac"

How???

Shopping online for everything, food, clothes, furniture

"Y/n we need a new couch I just bought one"

\(-_-)/

You guys got erasable markers and literally drew on the wall

But they did not come off...

He would be kind of sad that he couldn't take you anywhere

But being the cutie he is he'd find ways to do cute date ideas at home

Jooheon :

"Guess what I'm coming home for quarantine!!!!"

Literally couldn't wait to hold you in his arms

Would cry when he came home, because he gets to spend time with you for who knows how long

You guys just hold each other and cry

Would follow you everywhere

If you went to get the mail he'd go with, if you needed to run to the store to get food, he's right by you

"Why is the door locked??? Y/n, you alive? Did corona get you???"

"Don't break the door down! I'm taking a bath"

"Ohhh, let me in!"

This little jerk picked the lock

You guys just sat in the tub for like 3 hours talking about what you should do during quarantine

Things you would do together during quarantine include sitting in the tub for 3 hours everyday

Calling his sister every day so he could talk to his cute niece

He would teach you all his rap parts from every song he could

You guys would send the members a goodie package every week with food and toiletries

Because he worried about them

You guys would take online dance class

Because why not???

Tango, Rumba, Foxtrot, Meringue

He would enjoy every minute with you

You're guys little vacation came to a halt when he fractured his fibula after falling down the stairs

He felt bad that you had to take care of him

But he was so grateful to have you by his side to help him

"Y/n you don't have to get up I can go to the kitchen to get a fork"

Could barely get off the couch

"Just please sit hear"

"So like you wanna bang?"

"No, I want you to get better"

After he got injured he just got so sad that he couldn't do anything with you really anymore

"I love you y/n"

"I love you too"

I.M :

He already was used to seeing you basically everyday

The only difference was you guys got to stay home

You guys didn't even have to change your schedule

He was grateful that he was able to wake up to you every morning tho

"Good morning, cutie"

"Why are you so close??"

Would be so nice the entire quarantine

Need him to wash your hair, just yell for him

Need something off the top shelf

He got it covered

There would be days where you guys just laid in bed the whole day though

You had online school throughout this time

"Y/n hang out with me!¡!¡"

"I'm doing homework for my English class"

"But I'm cuter than English class"

*insert pouty face*

Would try to get in your pants every other hour

You'd let him because ofc

"No, not now Changkyunnie..."

"Yes, now... Pleaseeeeee"

All the members would worry about you because you guys were the youngest and they thought you wouldn't take this seriously

Y'all did though, you only left the house for food

"Y/n am I cute?"

"No, now go to sleep"

"But I love you and I miss you"

"I'm right next to you and it's 3 am"

Bro. Idk why but this drained me I'm gonna write the exo one different bc I literally ran out of ideas of what to do doing quarantine.

#monsta x #monsta x wonho #monsta x shownu #monsta x jooheon #monsta x i.m #monsta x kihyun #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x hyungwon #chae hyungwon #lee jooheon #yoo kihyun #lee minhyuk #lim changkyun #im changkyun #son hyunwoo #shin hoseok #shin wonho #monsta x reaction #kpop reaction

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mousepal-archive · 3 years

Text

mutuals pls read if u can but pls dont rebl000g or make this a thing i just feel 😕

the lil nas x thing is so 🙁 like uh the things he said when he was 17 werent “dumb unfunny racist jokes” to me they were literally the most vile disgusting horrible things anyone could say about any sort of person. he called multiple black women monkeys, made transphobic comments towards female artists, made fun of rihannas domestic abuse, literally tweeted about wanting to fuck his 3 year old nephew. almost all his horrible tweets were directed towards black women and i dont think people are “just trying to tear down a gay black artist”, maybe some are. but i think holding him accountable for disgusting shit hes said and never apologized for isnt wrong. like why should anyone be able to say vile things towards BLACK WOMEN but its ok becuz hes gay and black. like i get where its coming from cuz white artists do disgusting shit all the time and get away with it. but that doesnt give lil nas a free pass to say horrible shit imo. im not gonnq say oh you cant support him anymore cuz he said it when he was 17 but stop demonizing people who feel uncomfortable with him now ?? like uh yeah bro i dont think i want to listen to someones music when they joke about black babies being monkeys and having sex with toddlers and never even own up to it or apologize. but thats my own feelings because so much of the hate he spewed was targeting black women and its just weird you guys wanna defend a black gay man so bad when hes been extremely misogynoiristic in the past and never apologized ..... idk of course im a white woman so my opinion doesnt hold much value but this is how i feel because he said so many nasty things about black women it makes me uncomfortable . and i dont think its people being racist for not liking him anymore. lmk what you guys think i feel confused about this and see both sides but also i feel rlly ill reading all the things he said they were just so vile and horrible and it bothers me he never said sorry

#ask to tag

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cnc-hoebayb · 5 years

Text

Nos cae la noche y tu me abrazas..

I forgot to post this yesterday oops

Lol but here’s my little part for this cute collab @quisieracnco helped put together, so if y’all haven’t checked out her nye hc go check it out it’s perfect. Also i know that @cncohdamn already made a lil chris imagine for this too and it’s literally the cutest so go check that out babes!!

So here it goes, some mad cheesy stuff for your NYE 😘

**Y’all gotta read this shit while listening to the live version of Fiesta en Mi Casa- no exceptio ns!

You fiddle around with the straw in your drink as you sit backstage waiting. The dressing room was far, but the music was loud, giving you little goosebumps as you faintly hear the final song. You smile to yourself, feeling that some energy you had every time you heard that guitar riff.

The crowd goes crazy closer to the end and you cant hear anymore, something good must’ve happened. More screams and cheering is heard continuously, the song must have just ended. You gather your things quickly, knowing you were all gonna make a run for it as soon as they left the stage.

The performance was gonna be broadcasted through the city, it would be on every billboard and screen as the clock hit midnight. So you were prepared for when the boys stormed into the room, grabbing phones, jackets, and snacks before heading straight out into the cold city air.

You felt excited, waiting for that final moment of the year always left you with so much energy. And as you start to wonder if the butterflies in your stomach can get any faster, you’re caught off guard by a sudden hand on the small of your back.

You stare up into esos grandes ojos cafés and watch as they focus onto you. “Ya estás emocionada?” He asks and you nod with joy, “you already know it,” his hand still not moving from its place.

Chris wasn’t afraid to get close and be touchy with you, you thought; but this - this was different. Something off about this kind of touch. His hand had found a spot on the side of your waist, almost pulling you in possesively as you speed walked through the city.

Your thoughts must’ve shown through your expression because at that same moment, his cheeks flushed a little as he justified himself. “Parece que tienes frío....”

You smile and let him keep holding on. He guides you through the streets until you finally make it to a heavily crowded area in the middle of the block. There’s lights and screens illuminating the scene and it starts playing from the beginning of the prerecorded concert.

The boys all start cheering, hyping themselves up from the crowd. Richard and Erick are jumping and dancing, while Zabdiel and Joel are beatboxing over the beat of the song. You look up at Chris and he’s beaming, his eyes full of light.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” You nudge him with your shoulder. “It’s weird sometimes, but i like it yeah” he looks down at you and smiles one of those heartfelt ones you know he really means.

“Thanks for being here, by the way,” he looks at you sincerely, “you’ve helped us out a lot during tour too, i really appreciate all you do..”

“Aw Chris,” you respond shocked, not sure where the sudden sentiment came from. You had grown close with all the boys over the time span you’d worked with them, and it was easy. They accepted you not just because you were new, but because they genuinely liked spending time and having fun with you.

Chris would always find ways to remind you of that.

“I have a surprise for you..” he smirked and wiggled his brow, already back to his playful self. “Chris nooo,” you whined, “you know how impatient that makes me, you have to tell me noW!!” You jump up and down pulling at his arms, begging him to fess up.

“I’ll give you a hint,” he grounds you by placing a hand on your shoulder. “It’s something we’ve been working on lately.” You give him a mean look to express how much you hated that hint.

“Bro deadass what the fuck u mean,” you pout and he cackles like an idiot. “Guess you just gotta wait,” he turns away from you with a sly smile and watches the performance continue on the screen.

A few minutes pass and the set is almost over - meaning the year coming closer to an end as well. You watch as a few of the boys scope out the girls they’ve been eyeing to be their kiss. As they go up and work their flirty magic, touching hands to waists, whispering sweet nothings to these lucky girls.

“I’m surprised you’re not already out there with em,” you edge on Chris.

“Naw i already got my target planned out,” he says in a cocky tone and your heart drops a little. It wasn’t a secret your feelings for him had grown into something more than friendship. In your eyes he was perfect, everything was always so natural with him and you felt so comfortable, so how could you help yourself??

You nod solemnly and stare back at the screens, not wanting to make eye contact with him. The last song starts and your heart immediately skips a beat.

“Con tus caderas,

No necesitamos ni bombillos ni estrellas..”

A little smile creeps across your lips and you feel Chris look at you. “What is it about this song that even gets to you?” He laughs and questions. You shrug how you always did when someone asked you that.

“No sé, i just, me siento algo más de mi. Like I’m not even in my own body when i hear it, es como el cielo, like spiritual i guess.” He looks at you with his mouth wide open, defientely about to make fun of you.

“You sound like you’re high,” you nudge his shoulder and stick a tongue out. “I can’t believe you sing the damn song and don’t even get it.” You turn to him with a finger over your lips, “now shh i wanna listen,”

You close your eyes and feel the cold air against your skin, taking in every part of the music.

“Cuando estamos juntos el mundo se detiene..”

When you open your eyes back up you’re half expecting Chris to be gone, off to win over his notorious mystery girl for the night.

But your eyes flutter open and you’re shocked to see him standing there, closer than ever at your side. He hangs his arm over your shoulder and whispers “i think i know what you mean now, the way the song feels..” you nod with a smug look on your face.

He sways with you to the music and sings along when his part starts. You curl up into his arm, accepting it fully.

“Puedo ver planetas en el techooo” He sings to you playfully and you follow along.

“Hey that reminds me,” you start, “What the heck was everyone screaming about earlier, what did you guys do-“ he cuts you off with a hand on your mouth lightly.

“Shh, bebesita, that’s the surprise,” you lick his hand in retalliation and he wipes it off on your jacket.

Back up on the monitors you watch as the song breaks down to its last minute, the clock counting down as well. Your eyes light up as something new happens within the song. You scramble to look for Richard in the crowd as you hear it,

“Veremos lo que pasaa”

“ShiT!!” You scream and hit Chris’ arm. “You guys practiced, omg he did the high note,” he laughs and gently guides your head to look back up. “That’s not all,” he says and you’re lit up.

“Chris-“ you say unbelievably, “did you do it??” You refer to what you both knew what was about to happen. These little parts of the song were so new and so impactful, he had been too nervous to ever follow through live. His voice could do it easily, no doubt, it was just nerves holding back his full capacity sometimes.

He looks so excited and tries calming you down, “brooo just keep watching.”

You bounce to the breakdown of the beat and little bumps form on the surface of your skin - every time. The tension is in the air the closer it gets to what you’re expecting, and a mixture of the crowd around you counting down already.

“10

8”

The music goes,

“Seremos felices, eso dalo por hecho”

“5

4”

You grab onto Chris’ hand absentmindedly and he squeezes it back. His other hand instinctively grabbing onto the bottom of your jacket, slowly turning you to face him.

“Hay una fiesta en mi casaaaAaA”

“1..”

For some reason you feel tears swell up in your eyes. The essence of his voice continuing for what feels like forever. Every second of it resonates through your bones, in your blood, your soul, your whole being.

It’s everything you could want in this moment and you turn to Chris to say how proud you are of him and-

His lips crash to yours in a passionate mess. It’s an act of something that’s been building up too long, something that needed to be let go.

You give in to it, lost hopelessly under his spell. He’s soft and tender, everything you imagined this moment to be. You wrap your arms tightly around his torso and he holds your cheek.

It feels otherworldly, and you have no other motive than to make it last. The music rings through your head and everything becomes more magical. His lips press to yours in long intervals, each touch together has a million words behind it.

He tastes exactly how you imagined and you think that now you might be addicted. Slick lips part from each other and it feels like a movie scene.

Like you’re both in a little bubble that’s only meant for the two of you. Snow drizzles around the bubble and he holds you into his chest, rocking you as he sings lightly along..

“Nos cae la noche y tú me abrazas...”

The guitar feels like a lullaby while in his arms..

You smile and look back to him, humming along to his own harmony. You tip toe up and kiss him again, not wanting to ever stop. He giggles a little too humbly against you and you pull a strand of his hair to shut him up.

“Don’t ruin this,” you sass and he peppers your lips with soft fast smooches, holding your cheeks in his palms.

The music fades out from their perfect voices and nothing else matters. It’s just you, and Chris, and that perfect little bubble keeping everything stopped in time.

#wow i love cheesy shit yall #uwuwuwuwu #chris mi corazón #cnco #cnco imagine #feliz fin del año

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tropicalgoon · 5 years

Text

Spoilers for the Homestuck Epilogue below.

First things first, i had caught up reading Homestuck on the exact day the Gigapause started (10/16/13). So long pauses and people arguing about canon was pretty common. Then the comic ended but later we got snapchats. Once the snapchats started coming people were unsure how ‘canon’ the snapchats were. Also

i was surprised with how fast the rest of the Epilogue came out. I figured it would have been drip fed like the comic was but reading it now i can see why that was not the case. If you haven't read the Epilogue i have one thing to say.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT WARNINGS THEY ARE NOT JOKES.

With that out the way, i think the biggest shift in the Epilogue vs the actual comic is that everything is way more mature. While Homestuck was full of angsty, snarky teens and a lot of jokes, ironic and not, the Epilogue overall has a more somber, powerless mood to it.

Also one more thing, i do not have a fav character or ship. So that might be why im upset about how it is.

Now i read the Candy choice first so ill talk about that. Now as soon as i saw the juju i knew it was going to have an effect. And i was right, the juju makes people feel okay with their surroundings and so when John ate it he felt at ease with the chaos his life and friends were becoming. But hoo boy did everyone suck all around.

i knew Gamzee was gonna be back and i was not wrong. i think the whole iVe bEeN GeTtIn mY MoThErFuCkIn rEdEmPtIoN On sO EvErYtHiN I Do iS GoOd was a funny bit but maaaaaan did it get a lil crazy. Jake has always been a doormat and easily manipulated. So nothing too new there but it was nice when he ran off with lil tavros. Also i guess hes the earth c equivalent to a kardashian.

It really surprised me how fast Roxy got together with John. In fact the Candy Roxy is way different than the meat Roxy. i guess thats the juju at work. Rose was sick with an “illness” but soon after the candy was ate she got “better”. What actually happened was she stopped trying to open her mind to the infinite degree and just let herself live in the moment and be truly happy. It was nice to see her and Kanaya have a happy life, at least until everything went bad. As for Dirk i felt bad for him because he always had that whole meta textual self importance thing going on so when he offed himself i was like oh no. Its nice that him and Dave had bro-sesions.

And now time to talk about Jade, Dave, and Karkat. It feels like Dave and Karkat have mostly stayed the same with a few big differences.1) they both are a little less insufferable, 2) Karkat has accepted he is a leader and 3) their tip toeing around relationships was kinda annoying. Which brings me to Jade. She was butting into all three of their relationships trying to force them to admit feelings. While ive seen some people say Hussie killed Jade i personally dont think so. Jade was always a headstrong, stubborn person who would go after what she wanted and i mean she was on an island by herself for most of her life if she wants to have fun let her.

Jane really went off the deep end. Which i dont think was so far off her canon personality in the comic. Her denying being xenophobic while being incredibly xenophobic was funny but also pretty real. While i didnt like they way she interacted with Jake it honestly fits in with what happens in the comic. (the trickster stuff, the crockercorp kidnapping). Her whole shadowy rise to hidden power was inevitable also i feel like she was really echoing the Condense on earth. Allowing Gamzee to spread his faith while funneling her wealth and fame into passing the policies and laws she wants. I do not think its out of character for her and Dirk to hate trolls since their lives were so affected by them.

Johns depression clouding his judgement and making him not want to react was sad to read. It really felt like he was just drifting around, letting all of the situations and chaos just wash over him. So when he was talking to Terezi and she helped him make sense of things it was a nice turn of pace.

Speaking of Terezi, its sad how long she went chasing after (Vriska). As of this moment i dont really think the quadrant system is really in place anymore (at least relationships with humans in it). With John and Terezi talking to each other it really felt like blackrom. “1F 1 W3R3 3V3R TO DO BL4CKROM 4G41N, 1T WOULD H4V3 TO B3 LOW K3Y”. It is sad her obsession with finding (Vriska) led to her dying in the void.

Seeing Aradia and Sollux was a surprise but they really didnt add much to anything (esp. Sollux). It was kinda funny how much of a dickhead Cade (Calliope Jade) was towards her. Cade was interesting. i really feel like she acts like she did in the comic.

(Vriska) returning was also not a surprise. She THE most known character. Of course she would be back, but not by her own accord. She wants the spotlight, she HAS to have it. Now that she is trapped on earth c she is now out of canon and so she is out of the spotlight. Thats why she was wailing about needing to SEE it. I think its kinda funny she ends up having a quick fling with Gamzee, and he tries to sell her on his redemption arc bullshit. It really shows how far her obsession has let her fall.

And now its time for meat. Honestly im glad i read candy first because meat was really nice to read after candy. As i said with candy, i figured meat would be the more active of the two (duality like the cherubs).

First off it was really nice to see how much Dave believes in Karkat and how he thinks Karkat would be leader earth c NEEDS. In Meat they still have their relationship drama with themselves and Jade. I really feel like shes slightly more direct in this one. After the blowup

John dealing with Roses instructions, finding and bringing together the younger versions of themselves so they could go fight a younger Caliborn and getting sucked into the the house juju was not a surprise since its been theorized thats what would happen. Of course Rose did not warn him, or even tell him what to do. Even when the younger versions of Johns friends die and get hurt he still tries to save them.

Jake is a very powerful figure in the new earth, he doesnt even realize it. Which leads to everyone trying to get him on their sides. I honestly feel like this is partly his page powers (but then again the classes and aspects dont mean all that much) but he has always been unconfrontational and a doormat. Dirk, Jane, Dave, and Karkat only want to use him for his ass and fame so they can further their agendas.

i think its rather fitting that (Vriska) doesnt get to see how the battle against Lord English ended. It was GREAT to see Davepetasprite^2 make a comeback and fight Lord English. She KNOWS the final battle isnt her battle but she is still THE ONE who turns the tide. She’s the one who has brought the winning piece so its still a victory of hers by proxy. Also she does not have the talk with Vriska (rose and kanayas kid) on a clown throw pillow so she does not get to do the self reflection she needs. Instead she gets sucked into a black hole.

The Jane and Dirk combo was not surprising, they both had the hangups about Jake and i feel like it ended the same way. Once they got what they wanted it was no longer exciting, or mysterious. But reading the political sabotage and Dirks plans coming together made me realize he was using her for his own gains too.

Now the whole Rose dying because her physical body couldn't contain the infiniteness of infinity was truly heartbreaking. Especially when Dirk was fucking with Kanaya. i do not know how much of Rose was being manipulated by Dirk and how much was her wanting to end her chronic suffering(2real4me). Addressing all of the....implications around those two. i really do not think they ran off to be together. i believe Rose is the first person Dirk has really connected with on a actual personal level. From what ive seen he does not really treat people as well... people. I think him and Rose are feeling the, “i am the only real person here and everyone else is a puppet” feeling John and Terezi was talking about. But unlike John, Dirk was never one to sit idly by, hes a mechanic after all. All the pieces have to be in place.

The whole bit with Cade and dirk taking control of the narrative was something i feel like has been building up for a long while. The unreliable narrator has been established a few times in the comic, in friendsim, and now in the epilogue. But it does raise a good question about who has been narrating the story and can they be trusted to give us the truth. We saw Dirk acknowledge that he is not unbiased and says things as he sees it. Cade says shes unbiased and just gives the whole truth but all i can think about is how she made Jane carefully cradle the juju and put it on the mantle. Watching Dirk outsmart Cade was defiently exciting to read. I cannot wait to see where all of this is leading to.

Do i think thats the end of both of Davepetasprite^2 and Lord English? No, as the comic has always said,” Don’t turn your back on the body.” We dont know where they ended up but we’ll just have to wait for more to come out and i cant wait. Does Rose, Dirk, and Terezi (i guess) have an agenda, yes. Do i have any goddamn idea what that is? Nope, and im fine with that. Overall i enjoyed both of them.

#homestuck #epilogue #i didnt mention eridan feferi or actual tavros cuz they have mostly been jokes so i was not expecting them to suddenly get respect #esp eridan #also this is kinda rambly so feel free to tldr

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wanna-17 · 7 years

Text

joshua highschool!au

summary: you and joshua hong were strangers at a tutoring academy but what happens when he moves to your school and you guys bond over music and small cute moments?

genre: fluff, slice of life, semi-real life

style: bullet-point

length: 4.4k

a/n: so this is something i’ve wanted to write for a while because it’s actually semi real life (not me ofc i cry someone i know) and i think their story is super cute. i’ve made some alternatives e.g. in real life it’s a church/school setting but because i’m posting on tumblr i decided to change it to a tutoring academy/school setting. but do let me know if you want a version of the original setting :) also this ended up being really really long (mainly bc i know like a lot of exact details and wanted to include as much as i can) and im unsure if you guys like my writing style but im hoping to improve more over time as i hopefully write more bullet point styled scenarios :)

so you’ve been going to this tutoring academy for a while and you go like once a week

you actually look forward to tutoring bc u were actually put in a really good class where everyone is friends and even have a group chat for memes

anyways theres this guy called joshua who sits at the back

and hes like the most handsome guy in the class and all the girls /not so/ secretly fawn over him

and like there are loads of rumours about him which claim that he opened his own lil company that makes apps and stuff which earns him $$$ at the age of 12 and how he like used a drone to capture the whole of his relatives wedding and how he like mastered 3 instruments and is a tech genius and on top of that really smart

which you obviously dont believe because thats not even human ??

anyways you do admit he’s sort of ok-above-average lookswise but u aint that shallow because he has a bad personality and you just hate him

but you have evidence for hating him !!

one time you accidentally walked into him verbally being mean to this other poor guy

so you naturally just assumed he was a bully and had a bad impression of him

you thought he was a prideful annoying rude and horrible person

and you just dont understand the hype about him at the tutoring academy

like they literally give out flyers with his face on it ?? umm ?? what marketing purposes lmao

anyways one day at tutor

your friend kyulkyung is like omg did u hear joshua is transferring to our school next year hdkhfaaku

kyulkyung is highkey a fangirl of him and always tries to talk you into him being a lil angel and nice person but you just snort lol

anyways you obviously dont care that he’s going to your school next year so you just shrug whatever

later that night when u get home u get a friend request on facebook from...dun dun DUNNNN what a surprise joshua hong

and you’re kinda like well ok ?? no harm in accepting a friend request

you accidentally click on his name too and think oh well might as well stalk him a bit

and damn his fb profile is super interesting bc he actually posts a lot but its not like dumb stuff boys usually post about video games

but like cute family pictures of him and his lil bro and you’re like this boy is family oriented i LIKE

then you suddenly come across a video...of this guy from your tutor...on kids masterchef

so u watch it and its the cutest thing ever

lil joshua stirring an egg and trying to make an omelet hehehe

and omg apparently he made it to the semi finals of KIDS MASTERCHEF???

you keep scrolling down and thats when u come across the evidence of him opening up his company with an app and tech jazz and u r like is this guy even rEALL

you’re still doubtful tbh so u go the appstore and type in his app and it comes up...even with CREATOR OF XX APP: JOSHUA HONG ???? you literally fall off ur chair bc wow

he cooks, he makes apps, he’s family oriented..that is all i need in a man HA HA

so next time at tutor u see him ur lowkey like the other girls staring at him bc wow he seems decent all of a sudden lol

ur other tutor friends are like: u r so lucky y/n josh’s gonna be at ur school

and ur kinda thinking maybe i should befriend him now cos he’ll defs be super popular at school

but tbh this fawning literally stops after 2 days and you go back to reality and focus on ur studies and all that

well as for joshua he doesnt really know u too to him ur that cute girl from tutor nothing much

fast forward to the next year ~

you kinda fully forget that josh is even coming

so the first school day back is all nice and chill and u get to ur fave class music heheh

you love music bc it really helps u concentrate and you also play clarinet and piano and love it

you’re also topping the class and sometimes you think you wouldn’t mind being a music teacher

so in music u take a seat next to your friend seungkwan who has power vocals and plays trumpet and when he sings at school performances you always accompany him as a pianist with woozi on drums

you and suengkwan are just chatting and catching up about holidays

when the teacher walks in followed by a student and you see that its joshua

and you’re like thinking o crap this is really awks i should hide

before u can do any of that tho he kinda makes a beeline for you and takes the seat next to u cos he only knows u in the class haha

and you’re literally looking the other way and u pretend u dont notice him take a seat next to u and you’re overly engaged in conversation with seungkwan

but seungkwan being the lovely and outgoing kid notices joshua and is like: hey!! are u new dont think ive seen u before

seungkwan is friends with everyone and everyone loves him back

joshua: uhh yeah i’m new

and seungkwan is super excited and like welcome!! i’m seungkwan and he sticks his hand out and is like and ur name is?

joshua is like i’m joshua

and seungkwan is like oh btw this is y/n

and it gets super awks cos u guys know of each others existence but maybe have talked like once when he had to pass u a bag of chips at tutor and u were like thank u

and seungkwan senses something and eyes you guys back and forth

after 837491 decades josh breaks the silence and is like hello y/n in a really meek voice

and you awkwardly smile and say hi

luckily class starts and the teacher introduces joshua to the class and asks him what instruments he plays

and the rumours prove to be true - he plays 3 instruments piano guitar and flute the real life guy cant play piano lmao

teacher asks him to demonstrate with the instrument hes most confident in

and so he starts playing the guitar to the tune of fireflies by owl city and also shyly starts singing to the lyrics check out how cute joshua is playing fireflies on his guitar here IM sOFTTT

and everyone is in awe at how good he is

and you lowkey feel your heart rate increase bc boi you love guys that play guitar and sing well

the way he sings is very gentle and sweet and the way he strums the guitar with his long fingers and how his eyes are full of gentle passion just makes you sWOOON

and somehow the way he sings with his emotions poured in just really touches your heart

after his performance everyone starts clapping and some girls even stand up and cheer lmao

he gets back to his seat and seungkwan gives him two thumbs up and says: bro are you kimbap kidding you were great you really should play guitar for me next time i sing

thanks says joshua bashfully and he kinda looks over to you with a hopeful look as if hoping you’d say something too

so you’re quickly like: yeah you were really good :)

josh: thanks y/n

anyways the teacher shushes everyone and is like: let me announce your first assignment! it’ll be in groups of 4 and it’ll be a cover of a pop song of your choice which you’d have to arrange yourselves. if you need help, you are welcome to ask other classmates that have experience in arranging or to ask me

whenver its group work you and seungkwan always join woozi

woozi comes over to you guys

and then both woozi and seungkwan are like to joshua: wanna join our group pls

and so joshua joins your group

and everyone else in class is jealous lmao because u 4 are definitely the top group with all the musical geniuses

ur kinda happy that joshua joined ur group bc he’s really good at guitar

and so u guys decide that u will do keyboard, joshua on guitar, woozi on drums and seungkwan on vocals

and y’all learn that joshua knows how to hack into arranging music programs for free

and woozi is like: WHAT MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE????

also shows u guys that infamous app you made and he has some secret code so u guys can download it for free instead of buying it for $15

ur group actually gets along really well and has good dynamics bc everyone has great ideas on what songs to do and how to do it and stuff

and its actually really fun with them even though you’re still awkward around joshua for no reason and he’s kinda shy too lmao

joshua suggests doing “breakeven” by the script

and u have a fangirl moment bc u love the script and everyone agrees that its a great song choice :)

anyways one day you guys decide to meet after school to practice and to refine the arranged piece which joshua and woozi did

BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON seungkwan can’t make it anymore bc he has to babysit his little brothers and woozi has a student council meeting

so its just you and joshua

and you two have never been like alone before like during group practice you guys make small conversation when the other two there and its all good and sweet but this was gonna be AWKWARD

anyways so you try to initiate conversation by asking how he’s finding the new school

and he just gives a short answer: pretty ok

and it becomes you two just asking each simple questions and giving short replies

but its only when you he asks you how you started getting into music that the conversation really starts going somewhere because your eyes light up while talking about music and so does hie eyes

and you guys talk about how classical music is so under-appreciated these days and how mozart is a music legend and just the beauty of music etc. etc.

and in no time its getting really dark and you both have to head home

you guys walk to the bus stop and he gets on your bus

and you’re like: hey i don’t think i’ve seen you catch this bus before?

joshua: yeah, but this bus also takes me home there are two buses that stop near my home!

you: oh ok cool

from that day on you and joshua actually got super close due to both your love for music

you guys always practiced together with seungkwan and woozi even when the group performance was over (and your group topped and got A+!!!!!!!!)

you also encouraged joshua to join the school band club which seungkwan and woozi were also part of

you literally baited him in because the school band club was going on tour to europe next year to get some sick masterclass training and perform at famous places in austria

so he basically joined so he could go to europe ;)))))) HEHEH

and even though you guys have different friend groups you guys sat near each other in the classes you shared, went to band club every monday morning at like 7am and also sometimes grabbed food together before tutoring

this was when literally EVERYONE at tutoring and school started shipping u two together and you’d get embarrassed and joshua wouldn’t really say much either

and to be honest deep in your heart you thought joshua was the ideal boyfriend but you had a rule where you weren’t gonna date in high school bc you wanted to focus on studies and you thought that high school relationships dont last and that they were pointless

and you’ve never really had a crush before so you’re super clueless lmao

one time students in ur music class volunteered to busk on the streets and you thought it’ll be fine so u and ur squad (josh, seungkwan and woozi) all signed up for it ^^

BUT when the day came around, woozi had a really bad fever and couldn’t get out of bed and seungkwan’s mum had to show up to work so seungkwan had to babysit his little brothers again

and so the busking was at school ..,,, except when u got to school the gates were locked AND it literally started pouring

you regretted not agreeing to your mum driving u bc u were a good daughter and didn’t want to bother her when it was her birthday

you also regretted not bringing an umbrella with u as u didn't want to miss ur bus

and so there you were soaking wet in the rain on a saturday morning not pleasant

you didn't know what to do and none of your gal friends were busking and u didn't want to bother them so you ended up calling joshua and he picked up in 2 rings

joshua: hey whats up?

you: sorry to ask of this but are you almost at school? because the gates are locked

joshua: oh really? i’ll be there in like 1 minute

you: ok see you soon

and in exactly one minute a car appeared and joshua hopped out with an umbrella

and he had the most concerned expression when he saw u soaking wet without an umbrella

joshua: omg y/n are you stupid why dont you have an umbrella

you just sighed as he held the umbrella above both ur heads

joshua: why don’t we go inside my mums car before we decide what to do i dont want you getting sick :(

you guys headed to his mums car and he just held the umbrella above both your heads and you noticed that it covered more of you than him

he could have easily put his arm around u so he wouldn’t get wet at all

but this was one thing you came to notice and really admire about joshua

that he’s such a respectful gentleman

whenever you befriended a guy you’d low key make it clear that you weren’t interested and just jokingly friend zone them

he never made you uncomfortable with his actions or words and always 100% respected you and kept his boundaries

anyways soon u guys found out that you had to enter the school from the back gates instead of the front gates and the rain slowly came to a stop

cue: joshua’s mum eyeing you two in the rear mirror from the front lmao

anyways the day went well and you guys had a lot of fun busking together and even got ice cream together afterwards :))

next year rolls around and you guys have only maths and music classes together but still hang at tutoring

its valentines day and tbh u never expect much because you’ve never received a red rose you’ve only gotten those yellow friendship roses

but during roll call the person giving out roses is like: y/n a red rose for you!!!! and you’re so SO happy bc who could be this secret admirer??

the rose also came with a super lame pick up line “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

you were so curious as to who it was

joshua: oooOOOHHHH whose the unlucky guy pls we all know its you lmao

anyways europe FINALLy rolls around and heck u are keen to visit mozart’s house

some of your girl friends like eunwoo, yuha and roa are also going

when the whole band club arrives in europe every day is busy busy with music workshops and such and its only 5 days in where the teachers who came on the trip give the students like 3 hours of free time

teacher: ok u guys must be in a pair at least so u don’t get lost!!

however, all ur friends only want to go shopping while u wanted to take a walk and admire the scenery of europe

but then someone taps you on the shoulder and u turn around and its joshua

joshua: hey what were you planning to do during the free time?

you: i wanted to look around and see the architecture and the scenery and stuff but everyone wants to go shopping :(

joshua: oh really! thats so good because me too i’d rather take a walk around here rather than go shopping; all my friends wanted to shop too

you: omg thats great we are always in sync arent we haha

joshua: yeah we are! let’s go together then?

so you and joshua walk around the land of austria and admire the beautiful architecture and takes pictures of the scenery and visit all the pretty churches

it’s literally your favourite day so far in europe bc you’re so happy ahhaa

(little did you know tho seungkwan literally refused joshua to hang out with him bc he was so sick of seeing joshua tiptoe around you. seungkwan: I BEG U TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME WITH HER PLS BE ROMANTIC PLS CONFESS ALREADYYYY)

so that night dinner is also free time so students can choose where they wanna go to eat and seungkwan joins you guys and you guys all end up in a really fancy and aesthetic restaurant

where the lighting is dim, there are lit candles and roses hung around and its literally a beautiful restaurant

you’re super oblivious but seungkwan is like glaring at joshua the whole time and kicking him under the table

while they’re having a staring contest you’re just chatting away about how much of a great time you’re having and how this is the first time in your life you’ve been inside such a nice restaurant and chugging on your food

after the meal you take a toilet break and little do you know while you’re doing so seungkwan is giving mediating lessons to joshua so he can calm down

and by the time you get back seungkwan is gone

you: oh where did seungkwan go?

joshua: oh he just went to chat with woozi

you take a seat and is like: so do u reckon we should head now?

and then joshua is like: actually there’s something i really want to say to you

and you just look at him super confused bc did something bad happen?? and you’re just super clueless and oblivious to his feelings towards you

bc the reason why ppl even ship u guys in the first place is because everyone can see how the way he stares at you, cares for you, catches your bus thats a 15min walk to his home when there’s one that stops directly in front of his home, how he always helps you with work, how he always encourages you to not give up whenever you’re having a hard time

and then joshua is like: y/n you probably have an idea already but i really like you, i like you a lot. i’ve liked you since we got ditched by seungkwan and woozi in music class and we ended up talking about music and had a proper conversation. also the rose for valentines day this year, that was me too

and you are S H O O K

and your mind is blank

and then you blurt out the dumbest thing ever

“sorry i only see u as a friend and dont want to date in high school”

.....

teacher: ok guys we are heading back to the hotel now!!!!!

joshua’s eyes and shoulder’s drop completely and he looks so discouraged and sad

and you’re brain is just confused as to what just happened...you suddenly feel hurt? lost?

you told yourself never to like anyone and up until now you’d never felt your heart race for anyone...you suddenly felt like you lost someone precious....someone special...

you guys part ways and head back to your respective friendship groups

and the moment you get back to the hotel you head straight for your room, not wanting to talk to anyone about what just happened

bc girl u needed time to process what just happened and to really think bc you’re heart was aching for some strange reason

(obviously you were oblivious to the fact that you had always liked joshua the whole time sighs)

you can’t think straight so you decide to call ur sister nayoung

you completely forget about the time difference between europe and australia

and so when nayoung picks up she’s groaning into the phone: IDIOT ITS 7AM HERE AND A SATURDAY I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP

you: you won’t believe what happened

nayoung: what did you get a boyfriend lmao

bc before u went to europe ur sister always joked about finding a handsome european guy with a cool accent lmao

you: not really no

nayoung: WHAT

so you tell your sister everything that happened and how you felt so empty and lost after rejecting joshua and unexpectedly you even start crying

and you can hear your sister sigh over the phone

nayoung: look y/n, the fact that you’re crying and even more confused obviously means you like him. to be honest i always had a feeling he liked you and i also thought you liked him too. these days all you ever talk about is him at home and you’ve never said a negative thing about him,,, you totally like him

and you being a stubborn one are like: “no he’s my friend a really close friend that i trust, he’s basically my brother, its like i lost a relative” you sob

nayoung: remember in weightlifting fairy kim bok joo...do you think you’ll be okay if joshua wasn’t by your side anymore? think about it carefully, thank about all the times you relied on him in the last year sorry had to bring in weightlifting fairy kim bokjoo because #swag forever and this part actually happened in real life bc the girls sister said this lmao

and well it was true that you’d relied on joshua too much recently there were times where you were struggling and u turned to him for advice in particular that time where you were considering dropping out of music bc it was getting stressful and taking up so much time

and no matter what your family and friends said you wouldn’t listen but when joshua advised you mind u with the exact same things nayoung said you somehow trusted his words and he was like your rock at times and always willing to listen to u and encourage u

by this point more and more tears were flowing and you didn’t even know why YOU LIKE JOSHUA BUT U R OBLIVIOUS POTATO

nayoung: maybe you can tell him that you were flustered so you can rethink it again you might regret this later

you: ok thats a good idea ill try to...

and after nayoung the best sister in the world pep talked u and lectured u for the next hour u finally decided that you would reconsider ur decision and let joshua know

you were dreading the awkwardness bc ever since the confession u guys had not talked and avoided eye contact at all costs

you sighed and decided to sleep so u wouldn’t have to think about it for now and deal with it tomorrow

meanwhile in joshua and seungkwans room

josh: seUNGKWAN U LIL IDIOT she freaking rejected me this is the most embarrassing rejection in the world how will i live after today??????

seungkwan: i dont get it tho y/n clearly likes u why would she reject u i even asked y/n’s sister nayoung to see if she had a crush on anyone

josh: i’m never talking to u again seungkwan do u know how hurt i am

*cue seungkwan trying to make joshua laugh by acting out natural disaster scenes from american movies lmao*

so the next day you’re trying to find the opportunity to talk to joshua but he was always surrounded by ppl

and u were so nervous bc u had planned what to say in ur head and despite the weather being -2318 degrees Celsius u were sweating from head to toe

anyways right after breakfast and before boarding the bus u finally see joshua by himself because seungkwan had gone to the loo

and you slowly approach joshua taking deep breaths because u were about to face the most awkward conversation of ur life

but before u actually reached joshua he saw u coming and awkwardly looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck

but u had to do this nayoung was right what if u regretted this and took this to ur grave he was the one guy u were so comfortable around and u could be yourself and he was so supportive and not to mention cute and smart too

you: hey josh

josh: oh uh hi y/n

you: ummm look i wanted to talk to u about ummm yesterdays events

cringe it was already getting so so so awkward bury me in a hole already

josh: ahhh ok sure what do you need to say?

you: the thing i’m really sorry about what i said yesterday...tbh i was really flustered and i just ended up blurting that out i hope i didn't hurt you. but i wanted to ask if u could give me a chance to reconsider what u said bc ur a really great guy and i think i’ve never seen u in a romantic way before so starting now i’ll seriously consider your feelings for me and also work out if i have feelings for u

and u were so embarrassed and u felt ur cheeks go red and ur looking at the ground

josh: a chance? i couldn’t even get a single minute of sleep last night says josh jokingly

you: omg really im so sorry :(

josh: its okay im really happy that you’re giving me a chance ;;; like tbh if u think about it, we go same tutoring, see each other in band club and even share closes together...we really can’t be awkward around each other so i was thinking of approaching u and telling u that its ok if u didn't feel the same way

you: *blush* yeah thats true.............

josh: so y/n dont be awkward anymore ok? lets go back to the way we were

you nod sheepishly

josh: and just give me your answer when you’re ready,,, i can wait an eternity for u HDJWFHWWK CAN YOU IMAGINE JOSHUA ACTUALLY SAYING THAT I CANT EVEN

and yay its all good between u guys and no awkwardness and you guys back to your usual relationship

and like the more you think about it, you find urself falling for joshua and noticing just how handsome he was and how kind he was

and you just really liked the fact that he was such a gentleman

he didn’t push you about your feelings, he continued to respect ur personal space and he didn’t make moves on u and just continued to be a good friend

but u heard from seungkwan that he was hurting a lot inside even though he smiled whenever u were around

and u didn’t like seeing him in this state

so you decided on ur answer !!!

(bc ur heart fluttered so much whenever you were around him and u started actually caring about ur looks and how he thought of u)

it was first period at school and it was music class

like 97% of music classes it was just practice

and u purposely get seungkwan and woozi to practice with all the other students

so u and joshua are just sitting on the stairs and joshua is lightly strumming on his guitar looking like a prince i tell u

and u guys are just chatting away normally and u tell yourself i need to say it its okay it’s normal i’m just gonna say it

and u probably have a super panicky look on ur face

and josh is like: r u ok y/n?

you: im fine..it’s just that i wanted to tell you something...about u know...that

and you see josh’s face literally drop and he stops strumming his guitar and mumbles: oh

because joshua thinks he’s gonna get rejected for the second time rip

and you’re really flustered again so you’re like

“i like you too, i want to give us a chance i can’t afford to lose you”

and literally the josh’s mouth curls into the biggest grin and u can see his eye smile hdahfoeifhq

and he looks you in the eye: y/n will you be my girlfriend starting from today?

you: yes i will joshua

IDAHLQF QYES FINALLY YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER

literally everyone is happy and suengkwan wants to throw a party for u guys

basically at school u guys are the music couple bc u guys sometimes do duets and are always defending each other when other ppl say that classical music is dumb

and one time a teacher was super mean to u and joshua stood up for you and you are like where did the shy joshua go

you guys perform a lot with the squad aka seungkwan and woozi

joshua even shouts seungkwan bc seungkwan played a big role

*nayoung in the background: what about me :((((((*

and like at tutoring the tutor, jeonghan is even happy and is like to this kid: pass me $10 i said so they’d get together this year lmao

i just realised i forgot about kyulkyung lmao

kyulkyung is so happy and loves third wheeling dates to get free food lmao bc joshua is such a gentleman and insists on paying all the time

but eventually u guys decide to take turns and agree that he can treat desert

and yeah you guys are couple goals because super supportive of each other, always watching out for one another and you guys only have eyes for each other

ok i need to end it here lmao its like too long

and yes this girl got confessed to in austria (when they live in australia) its actually so romantic tbh im not jealous at all *wiggles eyebrows*

#joshua hong scenarios #seventeen scenarios #hong jisoo scenarios #seventeen imagines #joshua hong imagines #hong jisoo imagines #seventeen #jisoo scenarios #joshua scenarios #hong joshua scenarios #joshua hong #joshua #pledis seventeen #pledis 17 #seventeen fanfiction #hong jisoo fanfiction #joshua hong fanfiction

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frankeyss-blog · 6 years

Text

1st Draft “ CANT CHEAT DESTINY

Can’t Cheat Destiny

I’ve never told this story before but I think it’s time you all know the truth. It’s been exactly twenty years since the homeboy’s Mario’s sister died. I am not that same person anymore, and now that everyone that was in the incident is dead. Well, allow me to tell you what happened that night in early ‘98, Mr. Priest.

“Go ahead, I got all day son.”

But I don’t. So this is it. So please record it. Only to show their mother. I heard she ain’t doing too good, yeah? I don’t want to let her die without knowing the truth about her kids, ya know.

“Do what you need to do to make this place a better one once you pass, son.”

Well, this dude was a hard nigga, straight up. We called him Maury cause he always had random bitches telling him he their baby daddy. His real name was Mario though. He had mad short people trauma. He liked getting drunk and picking fights at parties, hitting on taken girls, try to drink the most and smoke the most. You know, it was all fun for us cause we’d known him so well that we didn’t take him seriously.

You know, we all grew up in Long Beach. Not the Belmont side, not the Bellflower, not even close to Signal Hill. We were from downtown right before they started remodeling the area closest to the port. Cause all that shit is nice now. Bar here, lounge there, wine tasting over here and a club in every block. Pine avenue is where people go lose their money now. Back in ‘97, when all three of us graduated high school, Pine avenue was the block you lost your life in. It was the crack spot, the whore house and the place you wouldn’t want to be without at least a fucking knife, man. Most people carried guns, most people had no bullets in them but I wouldn’t try to test nobody. I survived that shit cause I was from there. I messed with the right people and picked the right people to ignore. My mom was a drug user, my most loyal customer. She still owes me money to this day. Don’t laugh, I’m serious. Mario’s mom too.

I can’t tell you when I met Mario. I don’t remember. My earliest memory of him is, us drinking water at the Cesar Chavez Park out of a garden hose because we had ditched class. We were in second grade at the time and we used to go back to my house while my mom was at work and smoke the cigarette butts she left on the coffee table. Mario would always want to do some extra shit like drink my mom's liquor, burn shit for the fuck of it. It was never enough trouble for him. He would push me to get on a random bus and just cruise through the city. People gave no fucks back in the day you know. Things were probably worse back then but people weren’t as alert about it. I guess two seven year olds alone in a bus wasn’t important enough for anyone to notice or care. I was always about twice the size of Mario so people probably thought he was my little brother. Shit, only if they knew I was following his orders.

This was our way of life for the longest time. Doing whatever the fuck we wanted. Our moms didn’t care. At least, I didn’t think so back then. I had never met my father, and I think Mario’s left him when he was like two. So doing whatever we wanted to do made us feel like men. We got in trouble and shit but it was the only way we could experience and learn from life. Luckily, I was the only child. Mario had a little sister. About four years younger than him. She outgrew him when she was in 7th grade, he was a junior then. I never teased him about it cause it was that one thing that triggered him the most. Everyone else, though. We would be in school or at the park playing ball, and dudes be asking him like, Yo, where’s your sister at? I rather have her ass on my team! Me too, shit. I always had Mario’s back though, no matter what. These moments is what made Mario so feisty. He always needed to prove a point. I fought a lot of his fights and maybe I helped his ego grow because he always had someone to rely on.

On 9th grade, this fool joined a gang. Not any gang either, he had to go prove himself he was better than any other thug and drug dealer. He went ahead and joined the Crips. We always had an invitation to the gang because we lived in the neighborhood. All main heads knew us since we were children and whether we were in the gang or not they protected us, invited us to parties, they had our backs and we had theirs. No need to actually join the gang. I really wish Mario would’ve consulted me first. There I went helping him sell weed and hustle. We were already living the ghetto life, no need to have to wear blue so everyone knows you’re being a low life on purpose. I can tell you that Mario watched Scarface too many times. I remember the summer from Junior to Senior year was crazy. Everyday we would go to the local liquor and I would steal a few forties while he bought a swisher and a lighter. We would kick it at my house. Smoke my mom out. We’ll wait for his little sister to get out of summer school at noon and go fuck with the little youngsters from her middle school. She hated us, man. She was so ashamed of Mario but we gave no fucks, we were faded. She always stayed away from us as much as she could. I don’t blame her now. I don’t think I ever did. Mario would pick a couple fights, we’ll sell a few grams and recruit one or two kids a week. The main heads liked Mario but they also knew his ass wasn’t alone, there was a dumb nigga doing half his work for him, that was me. Like I said though, I didn’t care, I was having fun, Mario had his gat, I had my knife, we were cool.

Remember when I said, Mario never settled though. He always had to go do some extra shit.

Fast forward to when we were in senior year. High school wasn’t as bad. No one fucked with us because they knew they could die. That was the truth. Get your fucking brains blown out for talking shit or looking at someone the wrong way. If you carried a bandana that wasn’t blue, chances were you were going to get a few broken ribs after school that day.

We made it to winter break, that year of ‘97. Mario had the great idea of impressing his mom and stealing a car for her. When Mario told me about it, it wasn’t a plea for help, it was a plan, alright. This fool, had spotted a ‘64 impala on the other side of the city, closer to Wilmington. Don’t worry about Wilmington, just know that they don’t like crips.

It was December 22nd. Cold as fuck man, I had told my mom I was going to wal mart to get some christmas gift for one of my teachers. Mario had actually told his mom he was going to go get her a christmas present. I was wearing a black Steelers hoodie and he was wearing a bright blue Cowboys jacket.

We met at his house. Drank a forty with his mom. We smoked a spliff on our walk to the bus stop. I had never stolen a car before, this was some big boy shit. I assumed Mario knew what he was doing. Even though he seemed to have big balls, he would never approach something without at least knowing he had a chance to win or achieve his goal. I just followed Mario. I remember my hands stayed inside the pocket of my hoodie the whole ride there. Mario was talking about how this gangsta life was paying of. He was trying to go into moving bricks and maybe trying to hustle pussy in the hood. He wanted the life of scarface. Big mansions, big cars and fine bitches at his feet. If he made it, that meant I made it too. I was riding his same cloud. It’s been like that for so long.

We got to Wilmington, we get off the bus somewhere on Anaheim blvd and the beautiful six-four impala is right fucking there. The rims were shiny, the reflection of the moon laid peacefully on the chrome bumpers. The car was painted light brown. The hydraulics were painted blue and before I was done appreciating the beauty of the car Mario had already found a rock to break the window.

“Aye bro, nah. That’s so high key.” I remember saying to him.

“Don’t be a pussy.” he said to me.

“This ain’t our hood Maury. Can’t be fucking around.” I tried to convince him. I thought he had a plan. “How are you supposed to turn it on?”

“Hot wire it, nigga.”

“Nigga, cause you know how to hotwire a fucking car.” I replied.

Mario walked to the driver's side of the car and looked in. I stood a few feet in front of the head lights. He took his cowboy hoodie off and wrapped the rock around it. Lucky bastard broke the window off on the first try.

“Get in, bro. Here you go,” he said as he handed me what it seemed to be a 9 mm. I was first to jump inside the car. Went through the driver's side and slid to the passenger side. I don’t know for how long I turned behind my shoulder to see if anyone was coming from behind us but when I turned around to face forward, Mario was already on Drive mode. Talk about a rush. Nothing like it. At age 17, that shit’s better than sex, man. You feel like a giant amongst men. You feel like a wildfire around a bunch of dry weeds. Unstoppable. Until something bigger than you comes. Everything that goes up must come down, right?

“Dawg, I think I dropped my sweater back there,” he said, “Fuck it.”

Mario never told me the aftermath of the carjack with the gang. Two days after new years, I was kicking it with Tripple. The homeboy I told you about at the beginning. He was a crip too. His dad was a main head. We were smoking a cigarette in the patio of my apartment watching people walk by. Chill mode, no danger, everyone knows each other in the Projects.

“You heard about lil Maury, bro?” he opened.

“Nah, partied with him on new years. He went home with some bitch and I just came back home.”

“Remember the wheels that nigga stole?” he said.

“No shit. I was there with him.” I replied without hesitation to look hard.

“So my dad had beef with this OG from wilmas blood gang. Follow this shit though. They had squashed it about three months ago. Now, Mario left or dropped his bright ass blue sweater at that niggas porch. When my dad asked Mario if he had done it, which we all know he’s the only dumb ass that goes for the cowboys, he said nah. He said, he had stolen that shit from somewhere in LA.”

“So…” I didn’t want to assume what was going to happen to Mario.

“My pops is going to send him on a mission to prove himself a real gangster.”

“This foo just stole a car from an OG. What else does your dad want?” I was scared.

“Yeah, but he fucking lied. He’s a got to stab a motherfucker.” Tripple said this quietly as if his intention was not too make me worry. He had his head down because he knew this was going to affect me too.

“You can’t get him out of it?” I asked him without trying to sound like I was begging. My lips were the only warm part of my body because of the cigarette. My voice was all I could use at the moment.

Tripple looked at me in the eye and I noticed his eyes take note of my facial expression. He raised his eyebrows and said, “I already did. He was supposed to go shoot at some cops. Mario told him to send him out to do some shit so that he could prove to him, to my pops, he could be a main head.”

“Fuck, bro. Alright, thanks for the heads up.” That’s exactly what it was. A warning for me to be ready when Mario calls. Mario, always with the extra shit.

“I’ll be there too, homie. My dad wants me to make sure everything goes smooth.” Tripple said as he took a few steps away from me to crush his cigarette butt on the ground.

That must’ve happened around three p.m. because my mom wasn’t back from work yet. I remember I waited for Mario’s call all day. When he didn’t hit me up by ten at night, I decided to smoke a joint with my mom to release some stress and knock out. Even though it was a weekend, I didn’t feel like turning up. I remember that feeling of insecurity.

My mom woke me up that same night around one a.m. telling me Mario was on the phone. I got up and asked him what’s up. He knew that I knew because he was with Tripple already. I grabbed my knife, the same one as always. I dressed all in black and waited for them to come through.

It takes five minutes to walk from Mario’s house to mine. These dudes made it in like 2 minutes, I remember. This is how I knew they were nervous as fuck.

I ain’t no crip, but still our handshake was and then we walked through and out of our hood. There were a few parties poppin off. This was no time to fuck around though. Don’t matter how cool or how close you think you are to your crip gang. This needed to happen. If Mario didn’t come through, man. Crip motherfuckers, back in the day, were the real deal. They gave no fucks, they were violent and proud of it. Who knows where Mario was going to end up if he didn’t pull through this one.

Tripple suggested we got some forties and pack a few bowls before we acted on anything. So Tripple already had weed. So just like the old days, we walk to a liquor store and Mario goes in distracting the cashier by buying swishers to roll blunts and I went stealing some forties.

We walked a few blocks and everything seemed so alive, everyone was partying. It was the weekend after new years. It was going to be hard to keep all this shit low key so we decided to post up on top of the bathroom building inside the Cesar Chavez Park. Yup, the same place Mario and I used to go run to first after ditching elementary. Doors were always open because of crackheads breaking in to sleep in there. This was like five miles off of our crib.

We started cracking jokes, we started sipping on our forties and we never really talked about why we were doing this. It was part of our life, this was normal in our hood. We were those niggas doing dirt shit in the middle of the night. We were the reason people locked their doors that night.

I don’t remember the time but I do remember the streets started getting quieter. Less and less bodies were seen on the sidewalk. Car lights started to disappear and we all knew why we were there. We stood up on the edge of this two story building and posted like alligators waiting for prey to step into our swamp.

About twenty minutes went by and I remember checking my watch then. 1: 45 a.m.

Everything seemed blurry. All three of us were pretty much crossfaded. The building felt ten stories high and I remember stepping back from the ledge. Tripple was looking down. His vision was stuck on something down there, or maybe he was just drunk but I was paying more attention to Mario. His toes were in the air, his heels balancing his whole body on the edge of the building. Always making everything more dangerous than it has to.

“There. White sweater.” Mario said to himself.

“Let’s go kid. Now you got your chance to be raw.” Tripple said. “I can’t tell if it’s a guy or a girl.”

Any other day we would’ve laughed but not today.

“You’re going to wait here, Mario.” Tripple said while handing him his knife. “I’ll bring him up here, we can’t do it down there in the street.”

This wasn’t Tripple's fight but the drugs and alcohol added to his bravery. Truth is, he knew Mario couldn’t fight someone bigger than him too well. Specially if he had to drag them upstairs.

“He’s right.” I added to the fear in all of us, “too high key.”

Tripple took his sweater off halfway. His arms were still in to use it as a choke around the dudes neck and drag him up. I was surprised they didn’t ask for my help. I don’t think I could’ve done it. I was fucked up. We were all fucked up.

While Tripple went down and got the dude. Mario didn’t take his sight off the fire escape exit on top of the building. I couldn’t intervene because I knew this wasn’t my fight.

To my surprise, Tripple walked up without making any unnecessary sounds while holding the body on a chokehold. The top half was covered with his sweater and the bottom half was naked. It wasn’t a dude.

We all laughed as if this was a bigger victory. Only because we knew how easy everything was going to go.

“Give me your best shot, right here baby, right here.” Tripple whispered at Mario while pointing at this poor girl's head.

We fucked her up.

I remember kicking her ribs and seeing Tripple’s sweater caving in on an opening. That was probably her mouth trying to grasp for air. She tried screaming but she had no chance.

Tripple was the first one to take his pants off and go for it. I remember grabbing my forty and spilling beer on the girl's head. Mario wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how good it was going to feel to stab a bitch.

Mario went second. This wasn’t the first time I saw Mario in action. I do think that was the first time Mario felt important and bad ass. He was closer to scar face now, more than ever.

Mario kept on getting the knife he had in his hand closer to this bitch’s neck.

I said, “Fuck that nigga. This bitch can recognize our voice. I say we fucking shoot her.”

“Fuck yeah,” Mario looked at me and continued “I’m shooting this bitch in the fucking face.”

He mentioned something about real gangsters looking at you in the eye while they shoot you between them.

Tripple went ahead and took his bloody sweater back. I remember it looked purple during night time. Must’ve been the beer, the girls saliva and her tears that made the blue turn darker.

But what Mario saw made him start to cringe and stutter because he was staring into the eyes of his own sister. She looked back at him and cried. She cried more painfully, than when they were raping her.

Mario fucking lost it and took his own gun to his own head. I didn’t try to stop him neither did Tripple. He fell to his knees and looked up to the sky but I don’t think there was nothing there for him.

He shot himself through the left eye. I remember looking down at the back of his head and the heat of the bullet left it looking like the top of a chimney. Everything was dark, the smoke got in my nose and till this day, I still can’t describe that smell. All I knew was that the only man I had ever trusted was dead. I might’ve not had a father or blood siblings but this guy Mario was all I had. I had to take care of his legacy, I needed to make sure his name wasn’t put down.

I remember getting off my ass and taking the gun out of Mario’s hand. My fingertips felt the freezing chrome through my black gloves. I looked at his sister without trying to make eye contact, and I don’t know why but she didn’t beg, she didn’t ask why, like, she just knew I was meant to kill her. The power of the gun forced me to close my eyes. I heard her body land. I opened my eyes and she bled the same color he did.

Tripple took the gun from me and ran down stairs. I handed it to him, honestly. I didn’t need it anymore. This wasn’t me. For the first time, I felt like I did the right thing. I felt like I did someone a real favor. That night, it wasn’t just three of us. The devil followed us. I thought about the chances of this happening. This no crip plan, nobody wanted to hurt his little sister. The fact that a nigga like me didn’t know much about her, was strange. Strangeness, the good kind cause that meant she didn’t fuck with the wrong crowd. She didn’t deserve this, but she had to die so Mario could take himself out and I would be on death sentence twenty years later.

Tripple and I kept our distance for some time. No cops wanted information, nobody gave a shit. Times had changed. I thought these were the things people paid attention to instead of paying attention to two second graders on a bus.

I didn’t go to Mario’s funeral. I was told people were saying he was walking his sister back home from a party when they both got attacked by either a gang or a robber. I always responded that it sounded like something Mario would do.

Tripple died during a drive by a few years ago. I didn’t care as much. It just reminded me of Mario.

“Son, and you are telling me all this because?”

Cause I never could come back from that, Priest. I’ve been inside these same four walls for a couple years now. But I know, I damn well know, that God is making me pay for what I didn’t pay before.

“Aren’t you afraid of dying?”

I don’t know what death feels like priest, so why should I be?

“You have less than twenty four hours to live, and you chose to ask for forgiveness on something you did more than twenty years ago?”

Nah, the electric chair don’t forgive. You think you can forgive, priest. I don’t know if God is going to forgive but there’s nothing better than living with peace of mind, even if it’s just for a few hours.

“I’m glad you did it, son.”

Tell her that I miss him, tell her that I never had any other best friend than Mario. But also tell her we didn’t know what we was doing. Tell her by the time she gets this, I’ll be wherever I deserve to be. I loved Mario like a brother, and for that, for that simple reason, I want her to know the truth. She deserves it.

“When she asks about what happened?”

You tell her the truth, I fucked up, I couldn’t go back to my life without Mario, after what I did. The gang life took over and I just did too much fucked up shit, enough to deserve to die.

“Are you sure?”

Fuck yeah, she doesn’t need any more bullshit into her life. Go ahead and tell her I killed random niggas’ families for a living. Tell her I stayed on selling drugs and making money on the block. Tell her I needed to live Mario’s dream, and I did. Tell her, that wherever it is that people like us go after death, I’ll see Mario and I’ll tell him about all the scarface life shit I did.

“Take care, son. I swear on the cross that hangs on my neck that I’ll take care of this. God and everyone involved in this thanks you for making this your last wish.”

Thank you.

“In the name of the Father…”

The Son. The Holy Spirit.

“May the devil no longer follow you.”

Amen.

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sugar-on-fries · 1 month

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you will watch me torture my favorite bugsnax oc on c.ai

Oh yeah there’s suicide mentions and me just being a dick in general 🤑🤑🤑

#help my sanity #I love him guys trust me🗣🤑🤑#bugsnax #grumpus oc #i dont fucking know #mental health #i love him #c.ai #c.ai shenanigans #ai bots #Linc rockbark #Oh yeah I made of bot of him #Floofty is mentioned here ig #sorry lil bro all out of fun passes #lil bro cant get the fun pass #lil bro thought he could have fun again #lil bro cant get the fun pass anymore #lil bro cant get the fun pass now #Zimo yells at the screen

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njawaidofficial · 6 years

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23 Movies That Have Been Ruined For You Forever

https://styleveryday.com/2018/03/25/23-movies-that-have-been-ruined-for-you-forever/

23 Movies That Have Been Ruined For You Forever

Tragic.

🚨Spoilers ahead!🚨

Stranger Than Fiction

“I learned my husband and best friend were having an affair when I walked in on them having sex while they were watching Stranger Than Fiction.” —melissam458146328

Columbia Pictures

The Departed

“My younger sister loves to spoil all movies for me. She started blowing up my phone towards the end of The Departed, knowing that I would start to worry and think it was an emergency. I opened my phone to a text, ‘EVERYONE DIES HAHAHAHA.‘ Classic.” —ensalinas82

Warner Bros.

Home Alone 2

“Home Alone 2… officially ruined because of Trump.“ —hertzlyd000

20th Century Fox

“The very first time I saw Up was back in 2009 on Thanksgiving. The first 15 minutes utterly destroyed me, and it was made even worse for me when I looked over to see my grandparents cuddled together on the couch. My grandma was in end-stage pancreatic cancer and wound up passing away not even a month and a half later. I can’t watch that movie anymore without going back to that moment.” —hordeoralliancewtf

Pixar

Wonder

“My 8-year-old son has a huge fear of Wonder to the point of obsession after seeing the trailer. He stopped watching TV on the chance they have commercials, and he won’t go into stores that might have it on display. He gets upset if we even say the word ‘wonder’. I read the book and wanted to see the movie, but after all of this, I don’t feel like seeing it anymore.” —catherinev7

Lionsgate

The Wizard of Oz

“The Wizard of Oz used to be one of my fave movies, but then I got a role in the musical and every thing was fine until I got my first fucking period on show night and had to wear white pants. I later looked at the pictures and EVERYONE could see my bloody pants. I can’t ever look at those lil munchkins again.“ —isabelb4357ef45b

MGM

Lord of the Rings

“My ex loved Lord of the Rings. I was sick one time and he brought over the extended edition of the entire series. It was fun watching it with him and we got to spend some quality time together. A few months later, he came out to me as gay while I was in the fucking HOSPITAL! I broke up with him and three weeks later, he started dating my best friend….. WHO IS A FEMALE! I can’t even think of LOTR without feeling angry.” —tammybingbongguidry

New Line Cinema

The Great Gatsby

“I went to go see The Great Gatsby with my crush and my best friend. Half way through the movie, the tables turn and the two of them are holding hands while I’m the third wheel. I still cant listen to ‘Young’.” —srocano

Warner Bros

The Goonies

“The Goonies was ruined for me because of my psychotic sister. She FLIPPED out because I watched her VHS and put the tape back in the wrong way. She threw the tape at me and screamed at me. What followed was an entire summer, autumn and part of a winter of her mistreating me, stealing MY tapes and destroying them. I swear, it was daily hell for me. It was affecting my mentality and making me scared to come home. I still cannot watch The Goonies to this day.” —missgem

Warner Bros.

Prometheus

“My husband and I went on a rare kid-free date to see Prometheus. Unfortunately, the man behind us felt so at home and comfortable, he took his shoes off and propped them up by us. Now, I can’t see anything involving the Alien franchise without thinking of horrible foot odor.” —jordanqc3

20th Century Fox

22 Jump Street

“In college, my (now ex) boyfriend and I tried to plan a movie night. We thought it’d be fun to rent a bunch of movies and make snacks, etc. His three neighbors came barging in, drunk as shit. They turned all the lights on, plopped down, and watched the movie. They talked during the whole thing and ate all the snacks. I kept texting my boyfriend to ask them to leave, but he never said anything to them. Still can’t watch 22 Jump Street without my skin crawling from anger.” —whitneysmith

Columbia Pictures

Shrek 2

“I was watching Shrek 2 with my dad and sister when my very first boyfriend broke up with me over text message.” —hannahm4bb8c3134

DreamWorks

Beetlejuice

“I went through a spell of having nightmares, and I had one where Beetlejuice was trying to murder me and my entire family. Flash forward 16 years later, and I can’t even look at Michael Keaton without feeling a little uneasy.“ —l46409f7ca

Warner Bros.

Frozen

“My mom just had to tell me that she cheated on my dad with her best friend’s son, who also happened to be a good friend of mine. I was crushed. We took the kids to see Frozen the next day and I cried silently through the whole thing. Now I associate that movie with heartbreak and even hearing the soundtrack makes me tear up.” —suzannel46f36ed04

Disney

The Godfather

“I was recovering from organ transplant surgery. One evening, I was in tremendous pain and sat up while watching The Godfather hoping the pain would pass. Turns out I had a bad abdominal infection and almost died. To this day, I can’t watch the movie without some emotional discomfort.” —josritson

Paramount Pictures

American Pie

“The first American Pie movie, because every time I went to a party, people expected me to scream “MILF! MILF!” at the family photos hanging up simply because I was Asian and spiked my hair like John Cho did.” —samg4b02cda83

Universal Studios

The Mask

“I can’t watch The Mask with Jim Carrey because halfway through watching it, my dad left and my mom announced we were moving out. Every time I see it, I think about that night!” —bradyg3

New Line Cinema

Kung Fu Panda

“I once agreed to hang out with my friend and her boyfriend while in middle school. We put on Kung Fu Panda and within the first five minutes, the two of them were making out. It was so awkward. I didn’t know what to do because I was so shy, so I just sat there through the whole thing while they were going at it. I almost got kicked in the face” —callic2

Dreamworks

Swingers

“I dated a guy who was obsessed with Swingers. If I never hear someone tell me I’m ‘so money, baby’ ever again, it will be too soon.” —januarycomet

Miramax

Old School

“We were watching Old School as a family when my dad got a suspicious phone call from his ‘job’ claiming he was needed at the office. Later that night, while he was still at ‘work’, he accidentally butt-dialed my mom and she heard him telling another woman he loved her. They were divorced shortly thereafter.” —jazzycatsindisneyland

DreamWorks

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

“Rise of the Planet of the Apes was ruined after my little brother had a seizure while my family was watching it. We had to call an ambulance, and when I came back from the hospital it was still paused and on the screen. I can’t even watch the movie without getting stressed, which is a real shame considering what an awesome movie it is.” —londoni2

20th Century Fox

Full Metal Jacket

“My dad and one of his friends got day drunk watching Full Metal Jacket. A friend was dropping me off after school and we pulled into the driveway to find the two of them shaving each other’s heads, poorly, while loudly quoting most of the boot camp scenes. I was mortified. Haven’t been able to watch the movie since.” —riotfoxmommy

Warner Bros.

The Sixth Sense

“I rented it when it came out on video and invited my friend over to watch it. I told her I hadn’t seen it, and she replied ‘Oh, you’ll love it. Bruce Willis is dead the whole time.‘ We no longer speak.” —samanthaholleyf

“If you’ve watched 50 First Dates then you know they watch The Sixth Sense everyday. One scene, Drew Barrymore’s character says ‘I can’t believe Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time!’ And sadly, right then and there was when The Sixth Sense was spoiled for me.” —tatel4dd4c2d7a

“My mom: ‘Wasn’t it crazy how Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?’ Me: ‘Mom, I haven’t seen it yet!’ Mom: ‘Oh you haven’t? That’s too bad. It was really great!'” —sarapara725

Buena Vista Pictures

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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