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strugglingatart · 4 months

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Jr year ep 2

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don't want to this will be long

No shenanigans at the begining way lowkey sad I love our intrepid heroes being dumb

Siobhan and Zac kick it off with SUCH good turns straight away we love (also emily's cutting words? delicious)

Them all discussing more stuff mid battle is so nice I love but also not Ally forgetting they could try to heal lol

"playing with you all at level 10 has never convinced me more that this game is unplayable at level 20. fucking unplayable" Brennan the man who I 100% have seen play att level 20. But we HAVE to stan the complaing I love them so much Murph especially I always laugh so much

Siobhan please we cannot be confident before rolls they go bad then

we were doing so well like seconds ago and now everything feels terrible

ARMOR OF AYDA omg my loves

Kristen and Riz are me when my friends are being to sexual but also Kristen please remember you and tracker?

NOT FABIAN FALLING AGAIN, and his idea was real good as well, but Ally yeeting the dice also a big mood

Lou's sass was so good I love im so much

only one person saving out of everyone is brutal why do dice currenntly hate them

Murph loosing it at Ally's saving throws being empty is so funny, and poor them gatting so defensive (also have they been doing it wrong this whole time then? has it never been written down? was is just a mistake on their season prep?)

Zac and Lou killed that look at me bit I'm sorry they are geniuses

I truly thought Brennan was gonna make this fight SO much easier and in many ways I get why he didn't but I'm not over it

Listen Murph is looking SO GOOD this season it legit distracted me for a few seconds I had to go back to understand what Brenan said about the van flipping I am a disaster queer through and through

this is so intense all of a sudden omgggg

Poor hangvan ily and know Gorgug will fix you tho

Oh no Kristen, but also the die deadass turned on them, sad vibes (also I miss good rolling Murph I know we had him for one ep but I loved him)

once again yeeting the dice is a mood and then the whole if i hit anyone bit, art tbh

AHHHHH that nat 1 followed by a nat 20 was magical, also Em is wearing the naddpod live shirt 😍 I was 110% with her tho I wanted Gorgug to get it so bad so that deception roll was EVERYTHING TO ME, Ayda claming Gorgug as the greatest wizard is legit one of my favorite things whenever they bring it up and support that theory my heart is so happy

Brenan just being like yes these npcs i made up for the media res are just for that they will die even if they don't

Zac has what healing thing? again not knowing enough about DnD makes me bad at knowing who can do what

shoutout to the two crew

listen this theme of exaustion specifically with school will end me like i cannot it hits too close

Moggy the doggy! we stan Adaine the little guys guy(gal?)

Did Cassandra text you? Nonstop

this flourish lacks flourish (me giving the finishing touches to art projects for university)

LISTEN Fig asking about first day of school outfit was literally Emily choosing violence omg I felt that deeply

I still have jump and i haven't used it so I'm just gonna... I love Zac

They all LOOSE IT at two more guys and I know it was mostly the players but honestly having an absolute laughing fit out of exaustion is another big mood and I felt both seen and called out (I have STROIES about this) and like it just fit the theme so well

there's two nat 1's, Lou's full discociated, Murph's loosing it, it's pure chaos for a bit but whoever did the closed captions? A+++ job

Kristen taking ths ice cream sandwich out and going to the hangman is gold (also I remember the pouch of ice cream sandwiches existing like I fully remeber Kristen usinf it before but i don't remeber when/where she gets it despite having just rewatched both freshman and sophomore years and it's bothering me)

I want the so tactical so late t-shirt

Fabian passed so I legit thought that was gonna work but you know what? it's funnier that it didn't

"I was a turncoat the whole time" is so funny for no reason, also Fabian babe, ily but like why do you wanna kiss a mirror it will not be enjoyable (also at this point Lou is either feeding into all the comp-het queer theories or is like the queer whisperer)

The father the son and the balthazar made me cackle

I have said this before in a post somewhere but while I get where Kristen is coming from so much like truly I'm right there with her but also I kinda hate how she's avoiding Cassandra but also I get it baby but also pls do better (or at least change tactics in odrer to to it lowkey unhealthily)

Fabian I promise you you can do better LMAO Riz, you are correct

Again to me Fig's hypothetical is like fighting words I'd be pissed and depressed

But also high school me would have loved a dance camp tbh (also to be able to dance in general rip my dancing dreams, taken away by a chronic issue and over protective parents)

"I think I do a really half hearted prayer of healling just because I don't.. trust you" I love Ally so much

ah yes the silliness is back but they are so tired

wanna stay at our place? we have so many beds

The entire ecaf bit was so good i cannot deal

Hallariel is saying Fabian's name more like the elves or am I tripping?

Gillear is slightly less pathetic! he won a cruise! oh and they are engaged, full step sibblings Fig and Fabian

also poor Fabian like he needs his parental figures here... Cathilda better stay or I'm personally gonna have words with Brennan, stop making them suffer they fuck up things alone

ALSOOO there is no way Gillear would not want to talk to Fig omg I'm fighting brennan again

Gillear luck... did Fig uncurse him by taking that deal and is she about to get his bad luck?

SKLONDA we stan

Brennan I swear to god this tiny goblin has saved the world three times what do you mean he cannot go to college I will fight you, this scene hit me so hard omg we were promised silliness not heart wrenching reality in my fantasy

I think Zac legitimately forgot the mirror didn't run away for like a second which makes it funnier but Fig IS just that good. 32 decepetion fool the character and the player

BRENAN what do you mean Zelda gave back his stuff this is DURING the seven where they are still TOGETHER I swear I will riot

Frosty fair mentioned twice it's connected to or the big thing this season

The Thistlespring are SO PRECIOUS

Jawbone and Sandra Lynn made a cake I can't deal, and it's belated birthdays omg the way I would cry

THE RAGH AND LYDIA ART IS SO GOOD

the justaposition of Emily's cackle and Ally's face to the dangers Fig and Kristen are dangerously and/or wildly close to being expell is so good

Lou choking on water at "we're allowed to fail a certain number of classes each semester" also real good treiler editing bc I thought that was 10000% connected to the you let your god die line that comes right before it on there

Fig's been multiclass since start of sophmore year, does she do warlock classes sometimes I wonder

I like that Jawbone is not judging here he's just like facts: you are failing and this is why, now we can see what we do about it

ouch that whole im swimming my head is liquid kristen thing felt dangerously close to me... I usually relate to gorgug and riz like i adore kristen but she's never me what is happening (this is not bad just me having like my 10th identity mini crisis this year)

THE AYDA ART she looks so bummed but so pretty.. but also Brenan I feel like I said I'll fight you a couple of times here but if we get no ayda I will fly to LA and fight you

I reached text limit will do a part two

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjr #riz gukgak #fabian aramais seacaster #kristen applebees #adaine o'shaughnessey #gorgug thistlespring #fig faeth

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lusi-raul · 7 months

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My thoughts on the last moments of QSMP Purgatory Day 4:

In short: I understand Bad’s frustrations and ALSO feel bad for Green Team’s loss and agree that them getting stuck at spawn was a bug…. Also Red just minding their own business and being feral little masked gremlins while this shit was going on is peak BOLAS energy AHAHAHAHA

First of all a short explanation and recap:

It’s 30 mins left before the server closes down and Green is winning against Blue by a huge margin (Red isn’t even on the board LOL) and the Blue’s strategy is to log in at the last minutes to submit the global task in order to make a comeback. Green is also heading off to the global tasks and I can’t rewatch Etoile’s vod to see his perspective on this because he’s still live but from what I understand is that an earthquake/quicksand disaster was happening at that time and when Blue logged on, the green got caught in the disaster WHILE in the spawn protected area and got stuck underground without being able to get out because you can’t place or break blocks. The admins and Etoiles declared it a bug and the admins gave all his gear back to him. The blues then was able to submit their tasks without much problem and resistance from the Green team and overtook the greens and secured the win.

Now the issue:

Bad was a bit upset over the fact that what happened to Greens was a bug because in his point of view, he was prepared for the disaster and has countermeasures against it so even though he thought that even if what happened was not intended by the admins, it was not a bug. He was afraid of the twitter mob undermining their win because they would claim that the blues only won due to the bug against the greens. He was afraid their win would not be celebrated properly due to the twitter mob disregarding their efforts to win today. He is also upset because the epic ending and the final battle against the green to end this day was taken away from them. They were deprived of an intense conclusion to this session. Their win felt so anticlimactic. He was upset the earthquake happened against the green… he wished it didn’t happen in the first place.

My thoughts:

I completely understand Bad’s frustrations. I feel like he was so caught up in the terminologies and was trying so hard to explain and clarify is that he knows full well that a mob will go for him on twitter. I also feel for them…. Imagine winning and no one cheers for you because they think you don’t deserve it. They won fair and square let’s all agree on that. Ket’s give blue the love and celebrate their win as much as we do our favorite teams. Their win might be a bit cheesy but it’s all strategies. All is fair in war guys. Let’s not ruin this event as the audience by taking it too personally guys. There are no real stakes just pure entertainment and let’s treat it as such. If the creators and admins are fine with it we should be too. Even Bad admitted he took it too seriously today on Tubbo’s stream. EVERYONE COMMUNICATED AND HAVE PUT THIS SITUATION TO REST. Bad had gone on to Tina, Etoiles and Tubbos streams and have come to an understanding. It’s not communication smp for nothing… there’s nothing to worry about.

I’m not worried about the Green’s loss because even Etoiles said he had fun. Yes it’s disappointing but the increased motivation this will give the Greens to win for the next few days will bring this group closer together. The Reds were united because they were pushed past their breaking point. This time it’ll happen to green too because loss after loss, the greens are gonna make an ultimate comeback. The Reds and Greens have a joint enemy.. the Blues. It’s an interesting arc. Let’s just view whatever happens unfair or not as narrative potential guys. You don’t get the most satisfying revenge story if there’s no one there to play the villain to make your life miserable. Rooting for Green these next few days.

Reds…. Reds are just a lost cause without Carre and Phil. They’re even crazier today than day 1. Their base is death valley. I’m not worried about them even one bit. Their Bar isn’t even on the board but they’re having the most fun being masked little gremlins of the server. Phil and Carre come get yo kids! This group is literally the definition of the neighbor kids your parents wants you to play with AHAHAHAHA.

#qsmp #qsmpblr #mcyt #qsmp purgatory #qsmp live blogging #qsmp green ninjas #qsmp team soulfire #qsmp team bolas #qsmp red team #qsmp green team #qsmp blue team #qsmp badboy halo #qsmp etoiles #qsmp tina

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panthera-tigris-venenata · 10 months

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@hannahhook7744 and I had a GREAT story Idea and I wish for you to see our brainstorming (TM) for it. Hannah’s in purple and me in orange, because colaboration and I thought it was funny .

(...I’ll edit whatever’s needed, yeah?)

Audrey suggests the idea.

They both end up happier because of it.

They all realize after yearS (They ALL live in denial. Except for Gil who thinks everyone else knows they’re dating.) that their relationship turned into a real one and they're all fine with it. They get out of denial eventually. (Yeah but it takes them ages). Definitely.

Uma confronts Ben about how he dropped the ball on his relationship with Audrey and his friendship with both her and Chad.

They get Jordan involved to have some media influence on their side.

Jordan is secretly cooperating with Ursula who is there for the drama (Oh course she is. Is she a good mom in yours?). (She’s a greek god – octopus. She has no idea how semi-human babies work. It’s a miracle that Uma is still alive.)

Cinderella and Charming are fine about it (but also it gets them to pay more attention to Chad, which is a win).

Harriet should be allowed to be a hypocritical bitch about her brother’s mess of a relationship

Yes.

Harry is like 'shut up, you and Anthony are DEFINITELY not in a closed relationship!' (So they actually admitted to being in a relationship?)

Harriet 'I Have no idea what you're talking about–'

Harry 'I've seen Ginny leave your room half naked!' (We will have to clarify they aren't sisters in this universe). (Yes!! Disaster Threesome. Loving it)(

Do you want to hear disaster hc for Audrey & CJ that fits into this?

Sure.

Audrey was like: So you think I should have a heir? Sure here let me just– *Audrey Rose named CJ Hook as her official heir*. (Yes. Then Cj is just like 'let's piss off Leah more assigning Freddie and Zevon jobs of power. )Audrey enables this chaos. Harry, of course, goes to councils with Uma and Harriet is asked to join after one (1) session with CJ. FG and beast are not having a fun time.

Belle joined one council meeting and They gave her hell because Chad overheard what she said to Ben about Audrey in d1.

Audrey's cousin tries to be a bitch. The sea three shut that down immediately . (As they should)

Can we give Arabella a minor corruption arc while we are at it? Just siding with them or something. (Yes. Absolutely.)

It's a fake relationship yet the moment Chad comes to the lost revenge near tears the sea three are ready to murder someone. (They got attached). (The crew was betting over this.they knew they’d get attached.The swapped gold is ignored by Sea Three. This is normal.) (Yes.) (Any bets on who upset Chad?). (...Mal?) (Most likely).

Any scenes you can picture? We need a catalyst to kick Audrey into proposing this idea to Chad so that? Audrey explaining the idea to Chad and then to the pirates. (Audrey’s grandmother probably turned back to how she was and Chad probably tells her that he thinks his parents haven't care about him since Chloe was born. He was adopted when he was 6. Chole was born 2 years later sickly and his parents were working on bringing the Tremaine sisters, Hans—Drizella's husband, and their kids back). Audrey probably proposes the idea to piss her parents off and test if Chad's parents still care). (Leah should be ranting about multiple things including thinly veiled amatonormativity because she’s a bitch like that and definitely thinks that girl is a spinster by twenty.) (YES).

There was the prompt that went „Permission to off them?“ „Permission enthusiastically granted.“ That’s Huma when someone hurts Chad. Audrey is already dialing Jordan. (YES. and Gil is just comforting Chad.) (Obviously. He’s like, Should I go help you guys cause some brutal violence? „No don’t worry we’ve got it!“ „For the last time,you CAN’T kill the queen–“) (lol. I love that Gil goes either way when it comes to murder. Audrey is usually like 'no murder'.. but with some exceptions).

Also Chad just feeling like no one even cares about him trying to put effort into changing and thinking that maybe it's too late for him only for Urusla or Hook to be like 'You're a TEENAGER. It is so not too late.' Or Harriet. I'm not picky.. (Harriet. She’s done with teenage bullshit since she was thirteen. Also, Ursula doesn’t understand the concept of time. …Neither does Hook really.) (Harriet, comforting crying Chad, internally: “All I wanted was to borrow some office supplies and weapons. Why does it always end like this?”) (Harriet has become the one who is always telling teenagers and kids it's not too late for them to change).

Also Harriet *yells at a ton of reporters* STOP BULLYING THESE TEENAGERS OR SO HELP ME— (Anthony: No murder in front of the cameras–) (yesss).

#disney descendants #uma descendants #harriet hook #harry hook #cj hook #anthony tremaine #chad charming #audrey rose #gil descendants

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t4tsurge · 2 years

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Do you have any hcs on the Kittails ship?

Oh yes absolutely. I wrote a post about them a couple months ago lol.

So obviously, since they're both like eight right now, I can definitely see them realizing they like each other when they're a bit older. Until then, I think they'd be pretty great friends granted Kit gets help overcoming his brainwashing and learns some worth.

Tails would definitely continue to take an interest in Kit's water pack, constantly making tweaks and improvements to stuff like water pressure, maximum capacity, other smart people stuff, etc., and would be more than willing to teach Kit about that kind of stuff too.

I also like to think that Tails would introduce Kit to Cream and Charmy (and maybe Marine too), and they'd all show Kit how to actually be a kid and have friends. Because like, fighting and adventures are cool and all, but I also want to see these kids be kids. Let them play Mario Kart or something while Vanilla babysits.

As for them when they're older? They'd definitely end up being those friends who you could tell would end up together, even though growing up they were completely oblivious. Like, the both of them would spend hours in Tails's workshop, Kit would be the only other person Tails let's work on the Tornado, Tails would be the first person Kit confides in about what he remembers from being with Dr Starline, and little moments like that would eventually build up until they realize Oh My God I Like Him.

I feel like them admitting their feelings for each other would be hilariously awkward and complicated because their current role models are Sonic and Surge, and those two are/would be romantic disasters. Like, Tails would definitely go down the "the best way to flirt is to maintain a friendly rivalry" route and Kit wouldn't know what else to do but except that that's their dynamic now until they both grow exhausted of constantly competing and talk things out. It all works out in the end, Amy scolds Sonic and Surge for encouraging them, and they go on to be an unstoppable duo.

Also, we love a good t4t ship. I'm a firm agender Tails and transmasc Kit truther.

#i am full of Thoughts About Them i love them so much #also if anyone else wants to ask me about other ships feel free #idw sonic #kitsunami the fennec #kit the fennec #miles tails prower #kittails #tailsunami #(because i still like that name better)#asked and answered #greatest hits #< ig

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dmwrites · 2 years

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In the kind of strange hustle and bustle that was randomly getting dumped into a new world and being forced to live on it, there were the odd moments of peace. Times when the hermits, all busy or far-flung, found themselves working with their friends once more, and got to chatting. Whether it was campfire gatherings at night or gathering the same material together, it was just nice to talk to one another. Comfort in similar circumstances, perhaps.

Cleo ran into Pearl in the storage area of Hermittopia. Cleo had been swearing loudly about some redstone she couldn’t get right on the dripstone farm she was tasked with making, and when she turned the corner, it was to find, and hear, Pearl cursing the hermits. The both stopped at the sight of each other, then giggled.

“Good lord, Pearl, I know you’re, like, out in the empires wild learning all kinds of new words, but what did we ever do to you, miss sunflower princess?” Cleo asked, smirking, not unkindly.

“Oh please.” Pearl snorted. “I am no ruler like these people. I was cursing you hermits because this storage area is an abomination, frankly.”

Cleo giggled. “Fair, fair. It is a bit of a disaster, but it’s fine. Do you know if we have any more observers? This damn farm is going to be the death, or should I say, death two electric boogaloo, of me.”

Pearl reached into a chest and handed her a few. “You need some help? I’ve done some redstone in my time. I also know Impulse, which should count for something.”

Cleo nodded, and they flew up to the small outcropping on the hermittopia building that was marked with Cleo’s name. They got to work, Cleo laying out the redstone and Pearl tweaking it as they went.

“Alright, go on then.” Cleo said after a while of comfortable silence. “What’s the outfit change about?” Cleo nodded to Pearl’s frankly stunning green dress and crown of sunflowers.

“Dunno. Maybe the rift decided I needed fashion help. The trash lady aesthetic didn’t match the dnd vibes of empires or something. Lol.” Pearl joked, fidgeting with a bit of redstone dust.

Cleo chuckled, but she could tell that Pearl knew more then she was letting on. “It’s just interesting. I mean, I feel like you’ve adjusted a lot better then a lot of us. And the empires people, they look at you just so funny, don’t they?”

Pearl hesitated, then nodded. “They seem to, yes. It’s odd.”

Cleo gave Pearl a long, searching look. The silence between them was a silence not unfamiliar to either of them. Cleo and Pearl seemed to often end up on opposite sides of the battlefield, both scary, both scared, both powerful. For only knowing each other for a few years, their history ran deep. And Cleo knew Pearl was lying to her.

“It is odd, isn’t it.” Cleo said quietly. They both returned to their work, and only spoke when Pearl made her polite excuses and left.

#November 21 2022 #fic #hc x empires #pearlescentmoon #zombiecleo #long post #the Cleo and pearl dynamic is my chew toy

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thesherrinfordfacility · 10 months

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✨ episode 4 - running commentary✨

- I'm not ready for this no no no no no DEEP BREATH ok let's go

- I will just say actually that ep3 has turned it around for me, like 100% and it is SO MUCH BETTER on tv than on the bigger screen, the screenings were fun but a Mistake

- anyWAY

- LESI???

- ok literally a hitchhiker lmao @theeminentlyimpractical wins this round HAHAH JTS SHAX JAHAHA mood swing

- oh my god i want them to be friends in an AU fuCK SHE WORKED IT OUT AZIRAPHALE LMAO

- BAD SHAX HE IS ✨EXACTLY✨ HIS TYPE fucking BEAT HER ASS AZZY

- lmao aziraphale???? YOU SLY DOG????

- this has to be a fuck moment right aziraphale? az?? CMON SWEAR YOU DUMBASS BITCH

- honestly aziraphale if it turns out furfur is an ex we need to have cocktails bbygirl tell me EVERYTHING YOU DIRTY HOE

- 40S MINISODE ARGHJ🚨🚨🚨🚨

- lmao walking dead au when, they really did end up down there huh I mean foregone conclusion but this gives me LIFE

- idc about hell I need the BOYS I need the dinner of motherfucking 41

- all the Nazis lmao get shredded bitches

- furfur lol this is doomed to failure

- DAVID TENNANT ON FIRE FUCK YES

- aziraphale stop trying to offer him a handy I'm sorry but you need to TONE IT DOWN you nearly got blown up NOW IS NOT THE TIME offer him a blowy LATER

- no I'm sorry but Mrs h???? FUCKING GET THEM GIRL THEYRE MY BABIES BUT INEPT AF

- THE SHOT THE CROWLEY PICTURE FUCK

- this is so much better than I could have ever predicted NEIL YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARd

- AHHHHHH AM I ABOUT TO BE RIGHT ABOUT THE 40S MINSODE DID I PREDICT THS???? DO THEY KISS????💓✨ IS THERE A 🚨MOMENT🚨

- also lmao the dinner is after the show??? idk let's see

- IM SWEATIN SO HARD THIS KS SO GOOd

- fucking HOWLING at the Nazi trio hahaha Steve pemberton is *the* moment lmaooooo

- OOP NO DINNER DINNER NOW??? Also lmao 'friends' I bet that BURNED Michael's mouth to FUCK

- crowley's face I'm DYING aziraphale you're so SILLY

- fuck me im so whipped for 40s Crowley and his lil jazzy wazzy hands

- THE WAY HE FLIRTS FUCK OFF GO AWAY CROWLEY stop buttering him up HES ABOJT TO JUMP YOU BUD

- ahhh magic shop!!!!!✨✨✨

- I know we said that aziraphale has the patience of a saint but I take it back Crowley is still an angel I'm convinced of it

- aziraphale literally has no self preservation I love him

- "leave the miracles to us" snarky ass bitch

- AHHHH HE TRUSTS CROWLEY FUCK YES the way he grabs his MF HAND no I'm done now

- DID I CALL CROWLEY BEING A VOLUNTEER IN A FUCKINF SHITPOST my GOD

- aziraphale you are a disaster

- I FUCKING CALLED IT HAHAHA this is my win ill tAKE IT CROWLEY CALLED AS A VOLUNTEER HAHAHA

- oh my god someone drag him off stage pLEASE

- GRITTED TEETH "NEITHER ARE MINE HEHE" hahahaha

- HE LITERALLY HAS TO TRUST CROWLEY UGH THIS IS 4AM GIRL DINNER ✨💓

- Cmon Crowley you can do it bbygirl💓💓💓💓

- HE DID IT

- here we GO THE DRESSING ROOM SCENE YES

- no fuck off furfur they need to snog go away OH MY GOD THEY KNEW EACH OTHER, jealous AZIRAPHALE?????

- "AZIRA-FALALALALA"

- oh I'm living for the zombies I love them

- lmao that photo hahahaha

- FUCK AZIRAPHALE YOU ARe so goOD AT MAGIC AND SLEIGHT OF HAND IM SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU you saved yourselves YES

- DINNER DINNER DINNER

- NOW KISS

- NOW

- "retire the act"

- OH MT FOD THIS IS SO SOFT??????? FUCKINF HELL

- BLUR THE MF EDGES

- THE WIIIIIIINE

- wait no come back u need to kiss now no

- fucking cockblocked by a scene change fuCK

- NO SHAX YOU BITCH NO LEAVE THEM ALONE LEAVE THEM ALOOOOOONNEEEEEE

- PLEASE

- yes beelzebub NO BEELZEBUB lol another mood swing

- annnnnd he's back home💓💓💓

- I KNEW AZIRAPHALE WAS BENTLEY'S FAVE get shitted on crowley

- he's MOVING BACK IN???? INTK RHE BENTLEY???? CROWLEY TOU ARE SO STUPID BABES

- "a night to REMEMBER" lmao it BETTER BE

Oh no it's the ball episode next I BETTER GET THAT KISS but also an explanation for "u go too fast for me Crowley" bc that did NOT explain it

#good omens #good omens season 2 #go2 commentary #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #not a shitpost but its good omens babyyyy

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tranquilpetrichor · 11 months

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a heart that still beats

— when in the midst of despair, do you lose all hope?

synopsis: the year is 2080. in a world destroyed by climate change, there is only one hope left for safety, and of course it is one exploited by the rich and famous—make it to the airships that are fueled by oxygen on earth. unfortunately, you are neither, but you are a skilled mechanic who is separated from your companion by yet another flood.

lonely, bitter and lost, you eventually find a purpose in being the mechanic for 10 boys that have an ambitious plan to shut off the machines that fuel the cities above the earth, being welcomed as one of their own.

but this mission is their most crucial one, one that could cost them their lives. and as you think about your leader, daeyeol, you're inspired by his courage, but very nervous for the upcoming events to transpire.

cast: gn mechanic!reader x daeyeol ft. golden child members and mentions of sf9's youngbin

genre: sci-fi, dystopian!au, end of the world!au, loosely based on golden child’s ra pam pam mv, angst with comfort if you squint

wc: 6.6k (6,674)

warnings: mentions of death, gunshots, blood, flames, pollution, lots of cursing, reader cracks maybe one dirty joke (which is only dirty if you understand it), we get pretty existential here. lmk if i missed anything

a/n: reader has habit of calling everyone older hyung as that's what they've decided they're comfortable with (just y and daeyeol here), ignore the fact that it’s y on the banner LOL this is for aesthetic purposes. there's a few perspective switches near the end, and of course i always end up making the relationship ambiguous. also why is the plot so messy.. ugh i just want to get this fic out. yes this is the second time sf9 youngbin makes a cameo in my fics. i think daeyeol said he had no same age friends and i’m like oh wait who else is a 93 liner? so yeah, enjoy, because this took way too long to do.

[d-7]

you watched and gave a small nod of approval as your rc car (which jangjun had decided to name damdadi for some reason) wheeled across the tiled floor of the hideout. bomin and sungyoon were examining the oxygen tanks, but your main focus was on your tech.

ah, good. it works. and it's quiet too.

damdadi, like your other projects, was carefully crafted, because god knows you couldn’t afford to make any mistakes with your mechanical work—not that you liked to make mistakes with anything anyways. everything you did got a quality check at least twice.

nevertheless, you were nervous about whether the oddly-named damdadi would be able to complete its task of surveillance or not and with the lives of friends on the line, you certainly had no time to lose.

to the side, you picked up yet another rc car (bomin decided he'd name that one genie) and checked if it was in working order, because as a dear friend named youngbin had reminded you long ago, “it’s best to have backup plans in case any bullshit happens.”

"and bullshit will always happen," you finished the phrase easily.

as the phrase came into your mind, you wondered what had happened to him after a flood separated the both of you about a year ago—the occurrence of natural disasters was not uncommon, but that didn't mean it was any less devastating each time one occurred.

god, you remembered it so well. he had gone on a mission to gather supplies for your camp when the flood occurred. from the wreckage, you had emerged confused, tossed around like a ship lost at sea.

then, it turned into denial that he was gone, anger at circumstances you couldn’t have controlled, and then reluctant acceptance that you couldn’t find him. it wasn't like you couldn't survive on your own, but without someone to ground you, you'd be talking into a void of nothingness. still, you didn’t know if anything could fill the even deeper void in your heart.

youngbin said once to you, “loss is inevitable. remember jaeyoon? you know i would have done anything to save him, but i can’t control the fact that the soldier shot him in the damn chest, but i tried my best, and yet the feeling of not being able to save everyone fucking hurts. losing someone you love… ah, fuck. sorry if this was depressing. but if there’s anything i’d prepare you for, it’s that."

inevitable.

that word alone carried so much weight to it.

and from then on, you reminded yourself that nothing is permanent, not even the companionship of a friend. it’s the only way you got yourself through your separation.

after the flood, you were on your own for a while, trying to find youngbin. however, an annoying little shit named jangjun found you after you stole some supplies from a soldiers’ base. apparently he had the same idea.

after this incident, he took you back to meet the other 9 members of the crew you were part of now. although initially reluctant to trust them, you found their company to be likable enough. you assumed the role you always did, finding spare parts that could be repurposed as you always used to do with youngbin.

you knew youngbin and daeyeol were two separate people, but you couldn’t help but see one in the other and think that they might get along. thinking about the two of them together made things so much harder.

thinking about those days, you sighed. you couldn't believe a trip down memory lane could randomly be triggered by one glance at an rc car, but it would be unwise to stay there for too long. of course, you allowed yourself those brief moments of distraction in your memories, and then focused on the task at hand again. it was a reasonable way to live.

yes, you did miss those you had lost, but now was definitely not the time for that.

don't get too distracted. you have work to do. you have to keep going.

despite the gravity of the situation you were in, you couldn’t help but crack a joke in your mind about being good with your fingers as you fiddled with some more machinery. some things never changed, like your less-than-appropriate humor that either got you lighthearted scolding (from sungyoon and daeyeol, and of course, youngbin) or laughs from people who liked your occasional jokes (mostly jangjun, and surprisingly bomin too).

while examining a control panel, you felt a soft tap on your shoulder, which could only possibly belong to one person out of the group you currently lived with—lee daeyeol. he spoke with a gentle tone but it had a sense of authority. “could i talk to you for a second?”

mentally, you prepared for hell because whenever he used that familiar tone, he was being nice but definitely meant business and may the gods help whoever tried to get in his way. “of course, what did you want?”

he placed folded diagrams on the table. "i just wanted to check on your progress on that rc car, although knowing how fast you work i’m guessing you’re almost done. we've finalized a plan about how to shut off the machines.”

ah yes, he was talking about the machines of project aether, or better yet, a way for those with enough money and power to save themselves and leave the poor and helpless to rot. the act of using the oxygen on earth for airships to create a "paradise in the sky" for some while damaging the atmosphere down below made you scratch your head at the backwards logic.

it was starting to get a little sweaty in the room, and you fanned yourself with an old newspaper. "things are going well, dae. this rover should be ready in a few minutes for jaehyun and jibeom to take when they need it. better early than late. you ready to do this?"

he glanced at you, and let out a deep sigh, one filled with what you interpreted to be as deliberation. "it doesn't matter how i feel. this needs to happen soon."

as the leader of the group, daeyeol was required to handle many burdens and although you and the boys were usually with him, no one could never completely understand what was going through his mind. there was a special spark that was required to lead.

sometimes, you wondered how tired he really was, but he didn't like to show that side of him, always wanting to be the helper instead of the helped.

and of course, that reminded you of youngbin, which wasn't such a great path to take your mind to. so you'd put it upon yourself to move on from him, which you had done semi-successfully.

of course, he still had a designated space in your mind, no matter how hard you tried not to think about him.

you put down what you were working on to focus on daeyeol's words, knowing it wouldn't be good for your mind to go off on more tangents today. "alright then, let's go over the plan once more. i figure you want to run through it again. i just need to hear it too."

he nodded and opened one diagram, which you recognized as it was labeled project : aether (floor plan), with a picture of the air machine itself. you remembered researching machinery for that. he pointed to the spot where it said passcode entry point.

"because of you, seungmin and donghyun, we were able to get the password that controls the fuel source of the cities. as you know, we need to enter the password at that location in order to shut the machine off. but we're unsure of the exact situation with guards and their patrol routes, so we're going to send the rovers with the camera attached in order to assess it. the last thing we need is for there to be surprises we didn’t expect.”

he probably hadn't changed any aspects to the plan, but you asked for confirmation. "it's just you going, right?"

"yes. the rest of the group looked uncomfortable with the idea and as concerning as the idea of going alone is, i can't risk anyone else's life.” his lips set in a thin line. "and there's a limited supply of oxygen tanks, anyways."

you let out a humorless chuckle, knowing just how brutal it was out there. "dae, we're clearly not as selfless as you. no one asks to potentially get shot at by assholes in hazmat suits.”

not being able to hide your true thoughts, you quietly added, “and honestly, i’m probably the most selfish of you guys.”

out of the corner of your eye, you saw him frown. "now don’t say that, you help in your own way. you've been invaluable in developing the technology for this mission. remember, nothing goes unnoticed by me."

you still did get a little flustered whenever people mentioned your skill, and you brushed his words off with the lazy swipe of a hand. "oh, i can't take all the credit for this stuff. seungmin helped me a lot." the mentioned guy was currently fiddling with the screen on the wall to make sure it actually worked.

yeah, you knew you were decent at what you did, but it's not like you wanted the spotlight for it, preferring to remain behind the scenes most of the time. to put it simply, you liked working in the shadows and only showing up when necessary to report something.

"you sell yourself short, y/n," he said with an amused grin on his face.

"do i, dae? if you want, i could just start bragging about myself all the time."

he laughed, and oh, how you took the sound in like nourishment. true laughter was hard to come across nowadays, as a lot of things were. "now let's not jump between extremes, okay?"

you made a salute as if you were on some pirate ship. “aye-aye, captain!” damdadi was still turned on, and you maneuvered it next to daeyeol, just to demonstrate the functionality, before turning the power off.

“god, imagine being pirates. we’d be the worst pirate crew ever. imagine trying to wake up bomin and get him to do anything but sleep prettily!”

daeyeol shrugged. "well, i could probably use captain privileges to boss him around, anyways."

"as if! he listens to no one, especially you."

the two of you grinned, sharing a moment. there were times when you forgot that the air was polluted, the rich were assholes and food was hard to find—now was one of those times. it was nice to not think about that for a bit. you were aware however, that the cold reality waited around the corner like a gunman waiting to fire.

you rested your head on his shoulder, an action you had grown more comfortable with gradually after he told you it was okay to do it. it seemed to say a message without words, i don’t know what the future holds, but at least i’m here with you.

daeyeol closed his eyes and spoke his next sentence quietly. “hey, i know i told you guys i’d be prepared for anything and we're aware of how this might end. it might go badly. if i’m honest, it’s been very nerve-wracking to prepare for this. i just wanted to say that i will protect you guys. whatever it takes. i think we have a chance to end this once and for all.”

won't you protect yourself? won't you be selfish too for once? that's all i need. you thought, but didn't say aloud.

you, who never thought you'd shed a tear since getting separated from youngbin, who didn't like getting very sentimental in front of others, embraced daeyeol. "hyung, sometimes i wonder how people like you can exist, so full of hope and all that optimistic stuff. shit, i promise i don't mean it in a bad way, but...” you trailed off.

"it's hard to have hope, right?"

"you could say that."

from the moment you had met him, he had struck you as someone who wouldn’t give up. all of the group did, but especially him. to keep fighting, one had to think that things would get better someday. one needed hope.

he rested one hand on your shoulder, as if he were transferring his wisdom over to you merely by touch. “until the moment i die, i won’t stop having it. it’s the only way we’ll be able to keep pushing through. call me optimistic, but if there seems to be no hope, we have to create it for ourselves. i don't want live hopelessly knowing that i could have tried to make a better future."

you played with a screw in your jacket pocket. "hope's short in supply sometimes, i admit.”

“it is. but all you need is a bit of it to survive.”

you felt your chest rise and fall, acutely aware of your breath. if you really thought about it, it was dangerous to risk it all on one mission, a singular chance to get this right before the soldiers could wipe you all out.

but you thought of the boys you had come to know over months of time, and everything became clearer.

joochan deserved a chance to sing in air that was truly clean. donghyun would get to dance outside without fear of being shot. jibeom and jaehyun could simply mess around with the rc cars you and seungmin made instead of just sending them out into the dangerous world outside their base. most of all, daeyeol would be able to breathe easily (quite literally and metaphorically), after the mission was over.

and of course, you wanted to take that first breath of air with each and every one of them.

hope brought a world of possibilities to think about, so close and yet so far away. it would fuel you, so long as you believed it still existed—and although you didn't really consider yourself as much of an idealist as daeyeol, you needed to be, especially now.

you brought up your hands to your head, which happened to hurt a little, and his voice brought you back to the present.

“hey, y/n, you seem like you’re lost in thought. all good?”

as expected, he can tell what goes on with you.

“just thinking about our upcoming mission. can't help but stay awake...”

he frowned. “it's late, take a rest too. i can't let everyone else in the team deprive themselves of sleep. don't overwork yourself, y/n.”

and before you had known it, he left and came back with a bit of water he had saved. water was difficult to come across but the group was fortunate to have some, so you savored every drop you got to taste. “thank you, daeyeol.”

“always.”

although you continued working, you knew these coming days would be difficult, and later you finally decided to take daeyeol’s advice, eventually letting yourself slip into a dreamlike state on the smooth metal beds.

(you wouldn't have known anyways, but daeyeol glanced at you several times while you were asleep.

you'd be alright, he knew. still, it was nice for him to make sure. he smiled, and got back to work.)

[d-3]

the main room, with all 11 of the crew, wasn’t outwardly panicking, but it contained a nervous energy that simmered and quietly stirred everyone's feelings of anxiety. the crew always worked hard, but this particular week needed everyone's dedication, whether it was finding spare parts, to looking over diagrams, to last minute research.

despite these demands, you were impressed with everyone's resilience.

youngtaek shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to relieve tension. he turned on the medium-sized screen that was inside the hideout, which currently was connected to a phone you and seungmin had built together. "the camera works fine, i see the footage from it showing up.”

you sighed in relief. it was good to know that something worked.

"ow, my feet," jibeom interjected, as damdadi rolled over them.

"alright, thanks youngtaek!" jaehyun grabbed the phone from him and affixed it onto damdadi. he then gestured to jibeom. “come on, let’s go send the rc car to survey the terrain, before y/n does that annoying thing where they yell at us for using their tech all wrong.”

“okay well, you can't just use damdadi to run over jibeom's feet, we got a mission!” you yelled from across the room, where you were working on a drone.

jaehyun smiled innocently at you. "yeah, well it'll be fine and we'll get it done. i think we're very capable. or at least, i am—"

"hey, take that back!" jibeom glared at jaehyun. “i hate you."

the two continued to bicker like children. "okay. jibeom, just so you know, if the guards come and you run too slow, i will be leaving your ass behind!"

these two argue so much, it's almost as if i'm watching a tv sitcom.

"just go already, guys," you said, amused by their antics. "and don't die, of course."

“have a little faith,” jibeom whined. jaehyun laughed at him again, and with the turn of a knob, damdadi rolled to the door with them.

after they left, you went to talk to daeyeol, showing him a few of the drones you had made with seungmin. “i was thinking that i can use these to divert the soldiers' attention so that they're less likely to shoot at you. couldn't hurt, right?”

"hm, good idea, just make sure your drones take a different route to the location. you thought of me that much?" he added, lightly teasing you.

your cheeks warmed slightly, but you kept your face impassive. "well, precautions are necessary, are they not?"

he was serious, but you could sense a bit of amusement coming from him. "they are. you always think ahead, don't you?" and with that, he approved of your addition to the plan.

you let out a sigh of partial relief, and continued to test out another drone.

"just say you love him or something, because even i can tell." seungmin, who had been working next to you muttered this after daeyeol left to wake up bomin. he screwed in another bolt. "you might as well remind him before...."

he doesn't finish the sentence, but he didn't need to. the two of you looked at each other in understanding. survival was never guaranteed in a world as wrecked as this one. he looked away for a second and closed his eyes briefly before continuing to talk.

"never mind. anyways, let's just keep working—we're making good progress. after this, we'll have 4 drones to use. it’s always useful to have something that flies, i suppose."

you obliged, figuring it would be better to shut up and just continue doing what you were always good at—attempting to ignore anything not related to your job. but seungmin's words still lingered and you would do anything to get them out.

later, seeing a frightened jibeom and a tired jaehyun return with news that a soldier had captured the rc car was enough to make you quietly simmer with rage (it was precious technology, after all), but you were almost thankful for the feeling.

at least you still felt something.

[d-day]

this was going to be rather interesting.

lee daeyeol was not supposed to be scared—or at least, he was not supposed to show it. in fact, he was the one whom people looked to for comfort, strength, guidance, and sacrifice (even if no one would say it aloud). if he looked scared, it would set the tone for this mission. who would believe in them? in their cause?

so he shouldered his burden of shutting off the machines of project: aether with calm determination, trying to steady himself despite his accelerating heart rate and the vague feeling of the world swaying beneath his feet. “i’m going out the route we discussed. send the drones out a different exit and wait for the radio signal from me to go up. if something unexpected happens, only one of you should check first."

"got it. stay safe, hyung." sungyoon checked daeyeol's oxygen's tank one last time, sighing to himself.

daeyeol looked to you, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "do you have the ring?"

you wordlessly got up to grab daeyeol's ring from the table, and watched as he slipped it on carefully. the piece of jewelry was special for him, as it was a gift from a childhood friend he had kept for his whole life.

to him, it signified many things, but he could never deny the fact seeing the ring gave him hope.

your voice was soft yet full of conviction as you gave him words of reassurance. "stay strong. we'll be waiting. but even if you don't return, i want to thank you, for everything. i love you, in every sense of the word."

daeyeol closed his eyes. you weren't usually the sentimental type.

it was times like this where he found it hard to walk away. if he let his heart take over, he would stay safe with you against the harsh reality of the world. but he knew that first, he had to carry out his plan.

he extended his arms towards you, pulling you into a tight hug. "you as well, y/n. remember, i'll be with you, always."

he double-checked the levels in his oxygen tank, affirming that they were alright. now, it really was time to go.

"if you don't stay safe, hyung, i'll kick your ass all the way to the sky," jangjun yelled.

"got it," he said, a small grin on his face. of course jangjun would be the one to joke around.

and with that, he turned away, walking towards the entrance of your hideout with conviction. the doors opened, and he stepped out, leaving behind the people he loved most. it would be painful for him to turn around now, and so he chose not to.

at least, if he thought of his team, full of people he wanted to give the world to, he had something tangible to fight for.

as daeyeol left, the 10 of you stared at the door and no one dared say a thing, for fear of it being wrong, but a distinct sigh came from bomin, who could not hide his frustration as the youngest. that's when you knew it was time to do your part, just as daeyeol would do his.

slightly trembling, you got into position and used the camera on the one of the drones to help examine its surroundings and navigate it through the twists and turns of the hide out.

sungyoon, much to everyone’s surprise, stood up a minute later. “i'm not letting him do this alone. lee daeyeol, i swear if you go alone at this point.."

"take care, hyung," bomin said.

he nodded in response.

you buried your head in your hands. it's not like you needed his life at risk too. but sungyoon could be rather stubborn at times, and you weren't trying to argue with him at a time like this.

besides, it's not like he couldn't handle himself out there.

he went to grab an oxygen tank, put its heavy weight on his back, and exited the hideout. but with his running skills, the team knew he would catch up to daeyeol soon enough.

outside, the chemicals in the air gave the impression that everything was a fatal orange, the orange that burned from that pillar of fire daeyeol saw in the distance. it seemed like it would burn straight to his soul and consume him.

but daeyeol found he could run faster than even he anticipated, fueled by a fire of his own.

above the flames, the floating paradise of the rich taunted him, as if they were situated in the heavens and looking down upon people like him, those who couldn't make it up there with what they had in their pockets.

those who were left to perish amongst the ashes.

daeyeol kept going.

unbeknownst to him, sungyoon was making his way over, navigating past abandoned trailers and trying not to alert the presence of any guards—he was quite aware of their patrol routes now.

after a few minutes, he found daeyeol, whispering, “hyung. i’m here."

the older boy looked over in surprise. "now that i think about it, i'm not surprised."

sungyoon's presence had revitalized him completely, a blessing that he wasn't to take lightly. daeyeol gave sungyoon a nod of acknowledgment, and they headed for the passcode entry point together.

as they did, a group of 3 soldiers ran across an elevated ledge.

"we gotta go!" dayeol exclaimed, pointing upwards. they sprinted towards the tower that felt so close, and yet, was still feet away.

a bullet punctured sungyoon's oxygen tank, and the hiss of air leaking out could be heard.

shit, daeyeol thought. he needed to do something, and quick.

they took cover some medium-sized storage crates as he removed his oxygen mask and put it over sungyoon's face, transferring the tank as well.

then, covering his mouth, he ran as fast as he could towards the tower. only a few feet away the tower, the soldiers shot him in the back. and yet he ran, bleeding through his denim jacket.

he inputted the correct code into the security screen.

3-2-6-4.

as sungyoon rushed over to him, daeyeol pushed the lever to shut off the tower off with all of his remaining strength. the pillar of fire emerging from the tower's base shut off, and the smoke in the area began to dissipate.

"you really did it, hyung." sungyoon said, looking around in awe. he sat beside daeyeol. the older boy smiled back.

i can rest, at least sungyoon is fine. no one else had to suffer.

he blinked several times to try and stay awake as sungyoon took off his vest, pressing lightly against one of daeyeol's wounds.

a few minutes earlier...

back at the base, your body felt frozen, except for your fingers, which were the only thing moving. it was quite difficult to steer a drone with the intense weather conditions outside and turmoil within you. but this was your responsibility, and you had to carry it out to the end.

"maybe a little higher," you muttered to yourself as the drone continued to fly. there was a smaller phone next to you, which allowed you to see out of the tiny camera on the drone. seungmin, tag and bomin had drones too.

“i see guards.” seungmin said sharply. “oh wait, i think daeyeol and sungyoon are in the distance too.”

jangjun spoke up. "okay, i'm going up to the warehouse building. i just need to safely observe what's happening outside in case your drones go down."

"someone, hand him a radio! i only have mine." seungmin yelled. "and remember, keep yourself hidden."

donghyun gave the remote to jangjun, who thanked him and left the base quickly.

amidst the chaos, you continued to maneuver the drone, trying to stay in control. the guards appeared to aim their guns in the general direction of the tower, which was where daeyeol and sungyoon were headed to.

you knew the guards were mostly there to prevent people like you guys from shutting off all the technology rich people had paid for. disgusting and vile.

“ah, shit, gotta steer away from there,” you muttered, your hand grasping the right controller stick. the drone flew slightly off to the side, and from what you could make out, the direction some of the guns were firing in changed.

oh god. there's a ton of soldiers. damn.

in all honesty, what happened next was chaos. a few of the screens lost connection. on a screen that was still intact, you saw blood, or at least, you thought you did.

the world blurred around you, but then came into focus again, but you knew that you couldn't collapse, not now. thankfully, your bottle had some water left.

"something's wrong," you say, fidgeting with your hands.

"of course something is wrong!" seungmin said, groaning. "what the hell is happening?"

youngtaek observed the surrounding area through his drone, but soon he had to find somewhere to land it, making sure it was well out of view before doing so.

he groaned shortly after. "great, the camera on the drone is almost dead. but from what i was able to see outside, i can tell someone shot sungyoon and daeyeol as they were headed over. i don't think they'll be coming back soon," he remarked. "so, maybe three to five of us should go out and help. we'll need to treat any wounds."

"do we even have enough medical supplies for this?" you asked, your mind racing. you began to sort through the stuff in the emergency backpack, making sure you could pack as much as possible.

shit. are daeyeol and sungyoon going to die? damn it, those two—

your thoughts were interrupted because over the radio, jangjun’s voice resounded, loud, clear and... somewhat excited? “come. look outside. i can't fucking believe it! we’ll finally be able to breathe the fucking air! you gotta see for yourselves! oh my god... is this real?”

his voice got faint, so you assumed he was busy staring at the sky, and how could you blame him?

everyone looked at each other with shock and disbelief. it's been a while since you've stared out the windows of the warehouse, but whenever you did, it was always the same—a sea of orange and the menacing presence of security drones. seeing something different would be a relief, a sign that daeyeol had gotten the job done after all.

still, you didn't want to be get too excited.

seungmin spoke into the radio. "alright, be there soon, hyung, but we have to go check on daeyeol and sungyoon afterwards. by the way, stop cursing so much, you potty-mouth.”

you heard a crackling sound before he responded, “fuck no.”

ha, he certainly is something.

afterwards, you took the radio, greeting jangjun with a laugh.

"hey, jangjun! is the air really as clear as you say it is?" you said, rolling your eyes. "you get fired up so easily and exaggerate. how do we tell you're not just messing with us?"

jangjun sighed once, one of those sassy why-don't-you-listen-because-i'm-right type of sighs. "just look at the damn sky before you come out, okay? i took off my mask and it felt okay, but don't take my word for it. bring the surgical masks if you're really worried."

you shrugged. "we'll be there. but let's be careful."

then, talking to the rest of the team, you said, "help me grab medical supplies and weapons. once we meet jangjun and get outside, we have to make sure there are no soldiers or drones."

"alright, i'll go ahead with jaehyun to go check on daeyeol and sungyoon and give them necessary medical attention," youngtaek said.

you found a pistol and picked it up. "got it."

"found the surgical masks!" jaehyun exclaimed.

everyone headed out, feeling mixed emotions of fear and anticipation. bomin was by your side. “y/n, will it be okay?”

to be honest, you weren’t the greatest at comforting people, but you tried your best. he was the youngest, and although you knew he was an adult and could handle himself, you still had a bit of a parental instinct.

“i don’t know. i trust that they did their job. we can have a bit of hope, can’t we?”

“yeah. i guess we can.” his breathing became steadier, and you were grateful.

soon enough, you were ascending the steps of what used to be functional escalators. light shone through the tinted glass ceiling, so oddly colored and dirtied that it was difficult to tell what life was like on the outside.

jangjun was leaning against a column, his gaze turned towards a sky that was finally more blue than orange for the first time, devoid of the flame tower in the air that everyone had grown so accustomed to.

you walked beside him, quietly waiting for him to acknowledge your presence. while continuing to stare, he shook his head rapidly, as if trying to wake up from a dream. "i still can't believe it. damn. it seemed like yesterday that there were drones swarming outside the window."

you laughed. "believe what? that we're alive? that this stupid machine is off? that the sky is blue?"

"all of it."

it was rare to see jangjun's contemplative side, but it was certainly present right now. you weren't sure that you believed it either. maybe you dreamt this entire incident up too. unless anyone said otherwise, though, this was real.

you shrugged. "well, there's been crazier things in this world."

"you're damn right about that."

the crew talked quietly amongst themselves, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere that was established by the strange stillness outside the window.

"i think we should go out now." seungmin said to the group, still in a state of shock.

everyone walked out towards an outside balcony where people probably used to hang out long before you were alive. apparently there was a time when the outside air wasn't so dangerous.

as you stepped out of the building, you found a place to stand. after a few minutes, you felt comfortable removing your mask.

you took a breath in, slowly. then, you exhaled. surprised at how easy and yet difficult it was, you repeated the action. it wasn't perfect air—the atmosphere would probably never return to 100% normal—but it was certainly something.

you tried to spot the telltale red lights of enemy drones, but you couldn't find any, to your shock.

there'd be no point in sending them anyways, you surmised. the job's been done.

of course, your heart felt conflicted with the absence of sungyoon and daeyeol, especially the latter. you'd need to check on them soon, just to see how they were doing in person.

you leaned against a white ledge, alone with your thoughts for just a second.

it'll be okay. surely, they'll be okay, you thought, trying to be optimistic.

and yet, there was still a part of you that wondered if you would find their lifeless bodies. but even that would be better than not finding them at all.

that's highely unlikely, of course you'll find them.

you looked at joochan, who had found a place beside you. he was humming softly. the two of you weren't as close (hey, it was hard to get to know the ten others in your crew equally), but you knew he loved music and saw it as his life. through song, you felt as though you understood whatever emotions he wanted to convey.

"wow, i think i'm dreaming," he says, his words riding softly on the breeze. "i never really understood why people sang songs about blue skies until now."

you laughed, despite yourself. "you're not the first to think that we're dreaming. maybe we'll wake up in a few minutes. but for now, this is our reality."

you heard youngtaek's voice over the walkie talkie in your hand. "daeyeol was shot in the back, so he's our priority right now. sungyoon's not in critical condition, but he does have a few bruises and needs to rest as well. make sure you secure the area you're in—we'll let you know when we're done here."

conversation broke out amongst the group.

"why did he do this by himself again?"

"i can't believe it..."

"hyung, you really are crazy for doing this."

meanwhile, you tried to process the news yourself. you weren't doubtful of youngtaek and jaehyun's medical capabilities, but after hearing about this, you knew that it would take a while for him to heal.

you told the group that you were going to go check how sungyoon and daeyeol were faring while they finished scanning the area.

after crossing between a maze of storage crates and covering a long stretch of flat land, you finally made it to the base of the tall tower.

despite all of the hardships you had been through, the sight of the tower without a flame made you smile, even if just for a second.

you spotted daeyeol sitting on the stone floor, his back against the control panel and sungyoon beside him. jaehyun and youngtaek were busy giving them medical treatment. they were obscured on two sides by large crates, which was good.

you were glad sungyoon and daeyeol had survived, but you couldn’t stand to see them in pain, especially your leader.

it only made you feel like you had failed as a companion in protecting him.

first, you talked to sungyoon, who seemed to have a few bruises and was panting heavily, but otherwise, seemed to be alright. he stood up

"i'm glad the two of you weren't alone," you said to him.

sungyoon nods. "he says he can do things alone, and although it's probably true, i wanted to be by his side."

you think of youngbin, and how you lost him. the feeling of deep loyalty isn't unfamiilar to you.

"i... understand."

you wish you were still by youngbin's side.

"here's some water," jaehyun said to sungyoon. luckily, he was able to drink on his own.

next, you looked over at daeyeol, whose eyes were set in a solemn gaze.

on closer inspection, you examined blood trickling from several places in his body. you hated seeing him like this, wanting to give him whatever strength you had.

you approached him slowly, not wanting to overwhelm him. “hi, daeyeol. how are you holding up?”

his response came in slow, short sentences. “i'm fine, for now. need… water. it’s good... to see you, y/n.”

you pulled an extra bottle of water out of your bag and slowly poured it in his mouth. you weren't the medical authority amongst your team, but you knew it wouldn't be good if he was required to move, considering the fact that he had been shot.

“it's good to see you too.” you laid a hand on his shoulder and continued speaking softly. you wanted to envelop him in a bone-crushing hug, but you were sure there'd be time for that when he was fully healed.

when, not if, right?

“i know you're probably thinking about the next step in all this, but.." you hesitated. "let us take care of you a while longer. you've already done so much for us."

he laughed, the sound strained. "i won't do anything drastic, don't worry."

you sat down in front of him, fingertips inches away from his. suddenly, you were a little tired as well. "please, let me know if there's anything that you need.

daeyeol took your hand. "you're here... for me, that's enough."

the golden ring on his hand glimmered in the sunlight. he said it reminded him of many things—your team, as his duty as a leader, the memories you've all shared.

you had always been more of a realist. youngbin was too, accepting that things were the way they were, and taught you that there wasn't much you could do except try to survive another day and solve things practically.

but daeyeol taught you something too, that hope was something that could be cultivated, even in the face of struggle. you took a glance at your friends, feeling a weight lift off of your shoulders.

no, problems weren't going to magically disappear. wounds took time to heal. work still needed to be done. you could lose it all at any moment. it was scary, to not know what came after this moment.

but as long as you had a heartbeat, as long as you were alive, you could have hope, even if it was faint.

"yes," you said, gazing at the endless sky above you. "it's enough."

taglist: @restlessmaknae

#kflixnet #kwritersworldnet #golden child x reader #golcha x reader #gncd #golden child imagines #golcha imagines #golden child oneshots #golden child scenarios #lee daeyeol #golden child daeyeol

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bluewinnerangel · 2 years

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can you talk about change pls i need more change love and analysis in my life

I know of a couple of Change analyses here and I think I'll just end up repeating a lot of what's already said if I'll just do a full reading but BUT what's not part of those analyses is it in the context of FITF (you know since he played it well before we had the album). Soooo I wanna use this ask to highlight a bit of the lyrics weaving magic that goes on within FITF, taking Change as a handle and somewhat match other lyrics? I think that might result in some fun stuff to break our brains over.

I don't think we have the official lyrics of Change, just so you know some of these words may be wrong I can't be sure. Also these parallels often just hold the same theme and said theme is everywhere (I mean, change and time and being the same they're just always everywhere constantly) so they're paired up with a line in Change in this thing but they all just belong together in one big piece of coherent work and not so literal in the one-on-one I'm writing down here but it does the job I think:

Change x FITF:

Time of our lives, it's easy to see / We were just getting by but we were complete

To me the most obvious parallel is with Common People:

I came from a good home / A house full of terrace dreams / That was enough for me / You know you had to see it to believe / All the late nights / Good times - Common People

and again the next verse, perhaps even worse:

No deep pockets / But big hearts / Do you see what I see / Now we’re all screaming on the dance floor - Common People

And more:

We’re going out to end up somewhere we’ll regret / Cos in this town it’s easy to forget - That's the way love goes (easy to have a good time)

Do you see what I see - Common People & She's Beauty We Are World Class

Lately, lately it’s been so easy to see my life completed instead of half way full - Paradise

Gonna cut here because it's gonna be a few scrolls:

Fun that it starts with "time", because that's EVERYWHERE. Out of 21 songs (16 deluxe +paradise +copy +saved by a stranger + high in california + change), 17 have the word "time" in them. 17.... Yes we're doing it. This is literally every time(lol) the word time shows up, rather than the theme of time, because that's more than this (you know when you stare at a word too long and you forget its meaning yeah get ready):

Said I had a plan for us / Time it came and changed it all / We had to disappear - The Greatest

Before the world it got so serious / Before the time it got away from us - Lucky Again

Let’s buy some time / For what we shouldn’t do / I don’t wanna face the music / But I still wanna dance with you - Face the Music

They "say bitter ends turn sweet in time", is that true of yours and mine? - Chicago

Just have patience / It’s not how you spend the time / It’s if you waste it - All This Time

The friends we make / the love it takes / is worth it all this time - All This Time

I only wanna go faster towards disaster every time - Out of my system

Maybe if you’d taken more time / I’d still be the one you wanna talk to every night - Headline

I've been wondering about what you're up to / Not for the first time / Not for the last time / And I've been thinking 'bout the things we used to do / Not for the first time / Not for the last time - Saturdays

You know it’s times like these we’re so much happier - silver tongues

You smile at me and say It’s time to go but I don’t feel like going home - silver tongues

Sit down sit down in the space and time - She's Beauty we are world class

All the late nights and the good times - Common People

There’s a time for saying who did what / Where it went wrong I wanna hear all that /But right now all I need you to know is / You’ll be ok we can talk tomorrow / I’m on my way with some time to borrow - Angels Fly

And time can always heal ya / If you let it make its way into your bones - Holding on to Heartache

Pick up the phone cos now it’s time you learnt to say that's the way love goes - That’s the way love goes

Remember when you told me I should give it time? - That’s the way love goes

that she changed me for the better by the time that I was coming ‘round - Saved By A Stranger

I wanna be in California smoke some weed outside in the summertime - High In California (I mean I had to)

Time of our lives, it's easy to see - Change

Now it's time to realize you don't get another life - Change

It hasn't been long that I've been away I don't know why everything's changed

tumblr is being weird with the formatting but everytime i try to fix it it just gets weirder so egh well leave it

Still on the same parallel we started with but now it's the opposite? kinda?:

When I get lost I go back to where I started / Common people / Nothing's changed - Common People

There are a lot of things being away from other things throughout but I don't think I'd be able to list em all if I tried, but here's an attempt:

You give and give until it’s gone away / Just tell yourself you’ve got another day / You’ve lived that life you just don’t see it yet - Lucky Again

Before the world it got so serious / Before the time it got away from us - Lucky Again

Has it been long enough that you can forgive me? - Chicago (as a whole really

I think she’s moved on mate it’s almost been a year / We haven’t seen you yeah we’ve given you your space - that's the way love goes

Saturdays take the pain away - but really Saturdays as a whole

put the pain behind you now, you don't need it anymore - Away from the pain again in Angels Fly

But the truth is, I/you still doubt / That what I/you do can get me/you home - All This time

We had to disappear / Cos nothing gets through here - the greatest

With me, I know you wanna come with me / Take anything you can carry /And leave everythin' else behind - Out Of My system

Sometimes I wake up and I wish you were beside me - Headline

It's time to go but I don't feel like going home - Silver Tongues

'Cause inside we're still the kings of the Friday nights Silver streets and the neon signs

This makes me happy-angry. hangry?. I don't know how else to put it:

Air max’s and silver tongues / Settle in for another heavy one - Silver Tongues

I love all the things you know but I’m king on a 50 metre road - Silver Tongues

I'm not supposed to be feeling dirty cheap on silver street at quarter to three - Saturdays (+the friday night melting into the saturdays that take the pain away)

You said I’m holding on to heartache / You said I wear it like a crown - holding On To Heartache ( about that king )

Everything's changed outside, sometimes I wonder why

When somebody told me I would change / I used to hide behind a smile / When somebody told me I would change / I was afraid I don't know why / Cos so does the world outside / I've realised - Bigger than Me (let's also add the next line: didn't read the signs, because last line of Change we had neon signs asdsdf)

If you need you can call on me, I'll be the friend you need

Cos if you’re lonely in Chicago you can call me (baby) - Chicago

I’ll knock on your door it’ll save me from calling / I won’t say a word It can wait ‘til the morning - Angels Fly

The nights they change in seasons / Become the strangest days / I called you twice but then regretted it / And changed my number - Holding On To Heartache (nights - changing - calling)

We haven’t seen you yeah we’ve given you your space / Pick up the phone cos now it’s time - That's The Way Love Goes (he's being the friend needed <3 )

Everything's changed outside, but I feel the same inside

Saturdays take the pain away / But nobody stays the same / No matter how much you want it / Some things change - Saturdays

Spend my whole life just thinking I had to change - High In California

The kids are alright / That used to be me Always losing our minds / Out on the street

I think this is described in Silver Tongues, being in the middle of the losing of their minds out on the street lol

And I choked when your smoke got in my eye / Bad logic and empty cans // You said grass was a dirty drug / You like to preach with vodka in your mug / I love all the things you know / But I’m king on a 50 metre road / We stand up tall and beat our chest / Shout some things that we’ll regret / Sit down with a master plan / I know nobody understands me like you do / You know it’s times like these we’re so much happier / Nights like these we’ll remember those stupid jokes only we know // You smile at me and say It’s time to go but I don’t feel like going home // You and me until the end / Waking up to start again - Silver Tongues yes I just basically pasted the whole song

A trip down memory lane, houses all look the same

Screams in Silver Tongues MV

Yeah I'm gonna use this as an excuse to paste any and all "home"s and "house"s in FITF:

But the truth is I/you still doubt that what I/you do can get me/you home when it gets cold - All This time

You smile at me and say It’s time to go but I don’t feel like going home - Silver Tongues

I came from a good home / A house full of terrace dreams - Common People

There's different names on the gates You know the people have changed It's such a shame, nothing stays the same

Common people / Nothing’s changed / You’ll hear strangers singing you name / If you act like you’re one of us - Common People (This. Is. Such. An. Interesting. Parallel.)

[When you gonna/now it's time to] realize [you/we] don't get another life? Always overanalyze, what's the point? I know it'll be alright [You've/we] still got the rest of [your life/our lives] We're [all/still] the same inside

Realizing you don't got another life / having the life you choose kinda waters:

Then made my way back to a life I would choose - Lucky Again

I just wanna stay in the moment the rest of my life / one more night I'm gonna choose I don't wanna face the music but I still wanna dance with you - Face The Music

Have you seen how my life’s been going? Cos i’ve been wondering what you’d say / Would you have told me to keep going or would you say to walk away? - Chicago

I am only half of what I think I can be / Gotta get it out of my system / Gotta get it off of my chest / I've lived a lot of my life already / But I gotta get through the rest - Out Of My System

With me, I know you wanna come with me / Take anything you can carry / And leave everythin' else behind - Out Of My system

And I/you keep on building mountains hoping that they’ll turn to gold / But the truth is I/you still doubt that what I/you do can get me/you home when it gets cold - All This Time (building the life / what happens when it changes, overanalyzing, not sure it'll be alright, but then: )

Together we’re the greatest / We’ll never be that cold again / No falling all to pieces / We’re the greatest / It’s you and me until the end / Life for us is never over - The Greatest

All being the same inside waters:

So come on call me liar / Yeah you're so quick to judge / Cos yeah I might have changed / But everybody does - Bigger Than Me

when you're just like me- Bigger Than Me

Are we one or are we two? Are we me or are we you? Have we been all this before / do you see what I see? - She's Beauty We Are World Class

common people / just act like you're one of us - Common People

So let this be your comfort / You're not the only one, no /In a strange way, all in this together / Been this way forever, you're not the only one - COAC

Getting high on the amber wave / Going deep for the ones who do the same // I know nobody understands me like you do - Silver Tongues

Our eyes meet and I can tell that you’re the same as me - All This Time

#if youre wondering wtf how long did this take you #i have a word file and i make good efficient use of it sljsklskjs

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chevelleneech · 21 hours

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I have only seen the clip thus far, but Eddie saying, “I think so.” to Kim after she asks him if Shannon was the love of his life!?!?!?!?

Not to be a bitch about it, but is Tim aware of what he and his staff are writing!? I don’t know if he was around when Eddie said going on dates with women feels like he’s being forced to perform, but the fact that instead of retconning that and having him say something like, “Yeah, she was, and I’ve been forcing myself to makeup for what I lost by pretending another woman could fill the hole she left.” he chose, “I think so, but I didn’t know it at the time.”

Bullshit. I’m calling bullshit. Yes, I may end up eating my words, but that answer only further adds to the canon fact that Eddie Diaz has no idea what his feelings for Shannon are or were. When Eddie first came into the show they had a chance to write them compelling and hash it out, but they killed Shannon off. Fair enough, it happens in most dramas anyway. But to then have Eddie go through relationship after relationship where he panics or feels like he has to fake it to make it through, then have him date his dead wife’s doppelgänger despite having a girlfriend!?!?!?

It’s giving “throw a dart at the board and see what sticks”. It’s giving no sensible resolution, because what do you mean Eddie thinks Shannon was the love of his life? Why doesn’t he know by now!? Him choosing to pursue Kim despite knowing she looks like Shannon, should have given him the answer. Why would they choose to make him unsure?

I’m rambling, and it could very well be pointless because again, I haven’t watched the episode yet, but that clip pissed me off, lol. Because if Eddie isn’t going to be queer and realize all his uncertainty is because he never loved Shannon to begin with, and was instead forcing himself to pretend to be in love since heterosexuality is what was expected of him, then I don’t know what to expect, and I’m not sure it’ll be worth all this drama.

Because Marisol will either forgive him or leave him, but it won’t be interesting either way. If she forgives him, then nothing changes, does it? He’s still in a poorly written relationship with a woman the writers don’t know what to do with. If she leaves him, he’ll be single and likely end up in a new relationship with a new woman by the end of s8. If Eddie does not end this season realizing he is also queer, even if he doesn’t act on it and chooses to continue pushing it down in s8, then his entire arc was pointless, because what is the other option?

Or are we supposed to pretend like spending an entire season on him finally moving on from Shannon was good writing, FIVE SEASONS AFTER HER DEATH? Don’t get me wrong, had they actually done it well, I’d be fine. Grief takes time and Tim was clearly pulling on past season threads, but an emotional affair with a doppelgänger that takes place over two and half episodes, only after he has a silly little heehee haha arc about not wanting to have sex with Marisol because she was a nun for like a hot second.

No, because even remembering that pisses me off! How did we go from “I have catholic guilt and can no longer fuck my hot girlfriend— whom invented already fucked at least once— because she was a wannabe nun some odd years ago.” to “I am broken inside and sought out my dead wife’s look-a-like to gain emotional closure.”

If this isn’t leading to a queer Eddie storyline, then he better be single and an absolute emotional disaster by the end of this episode and he struggles with something worthwhile. Losing Chris to his parents because Chris saw Kim and feels betrayed or something. Anything, I beg!

#911 abc #eddie diaz

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citrus-cactus · 11 months

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I know you're a major Daisuke/Wallace shipper, but may I ask which other ships with Daisuke you like too, if any? (^・ω・^ )

(in my case i multiship him with a ton of characters... Lately more into TakeDai thanks to Shiha lol)

Ahhh, sorry it took so long for me to answer this!!

Oh, Ni. NI. Do you really want to open up the floodgates of shipping with me?? (bless you)

So, I developed the habit of just not talking about Digimon ships on the Internet many years ago, despite it being the primary thing that was fueling my creative output for a significant period of time (like… 2007-2014, probably??). But yeah, for most of my time on Tumblr, there was no way I was gonna talk directly about Digimon ships, because I’m always scared about the potential backlash such posts may receive (trying to get over that, though!). A few ships have breached brain-containment: Wallsuke and Taijyou, obviously, Taishiro and Nishihime maybe less-obviously (these days). But I feel more comfortable talking about those since they’re (mostly) rarepairs, the haters are minimal/nonexistent, fans of those pairs are chill and awesome, and I guess they just feel “safer” than some of the rest of the Adventure/02/tri/Kizuna shipping minefield XD

I would LOVE to make a chart like the one @reliablejoukido did showing my OTP thru NOTP feelings though! Back in 2012 I know I made a numerical matrix-type thingy for my preferences, but I never published it anywhere and I’m guessing they’ve changed a bit ^^; If I ever found time to make my own template in this day and age, I’d do it, but alas, time makes fools of us all! 🥲

All that is to say, I’m also a multishipper, and I absolutely have other Daisuke ships!! I have ended up on kind of a personal crusade to put more Wallsuke out in the world these past few years, which is why it kind of accidentally ended up being my primary Daisuke ship (oops). It doesn’t mean all those other ships are gone and forgotten, though!

I’m generally using REALLY OLD American English Fandom ship names in this post, only because that’s how I refer to them in my own head. Please don’t think too hard about the spelling/order/capitalization/punctuation of them, because I’m not! I assure you these designations don’t mean anything in this context other than “the relationship between these characters in some platonic or romantic way, explanation to follow.” TL;DR for everyone reading this: don’t be rude about shipping on this post, and don’t nitpick my terminology, please! I’m old, and so, so tired of fandom drama.

And now, without further ado, and in no particular order… DAISUKE SHIPS! ᕕ(ᐛ) ᕗ

Daiyako (Miyako/Daisuke)

I love them as friends hanging out or casually dating. They’re so!!! Well, they’re pretty similar in how strong their convictions are and how open they are about their feelings, which means they agree on a lot of things but also have the potential to clash a lot, which is a dynamic I REALLY enjoy for them. In a romantic scenario, I can definitely see them as going from arguing about something inconsequential to making out in about 3 seconds flat (maybe with a side of “how did we end up here??” ehehehe). IDK, they both give off disaster bisexual vibes to me, and I’m 100% here for that!

Daiken (Ken/Daisuke)

Really great, obviously, either romantic or platonic. They were Jogress partners (cue chorus of “oh my god, they were Jogress partners…”). I actually um. Don’t have a lot to say about this ship, but I do enjoy seeing it on my dash! Daisuke and Ken’s Christmas Carol and the entirety of Revenge of Diaboromon are all-time classics in my mind and I do secretly like one-sided Kaiser/Daisuke or mutual Kaiser/Daisuke Kaiser… shhhh

Daikari (Hikari/Daisuke)

Like, honestly yes. Daisuke, I am rooting for you! I mostly enjoy them as a friendship or in a “falling in love once they grow up and mellow out a bit” context. This is also how I feel about Junpei/Izumi from Frontier, by-the-by. Both pairs give off similar vibes (to me), but I’m more likely to gravitate to thinking about Junzumi because I just. Junpei does NOT get enough love, respect, or attention in general, and I would LOVE to see more portrayals of fat-positive romance for him, specifically.

Daikeru (Takeru/Daisuke)

So, I’ll admit I have a really hard time writing Takeru, which means I don’t do a very good job of imagining him in Situations(tm), but I have read/seen a fair bit of this pair romantically and I like it, I just also don’t have a lot to say about it (I’m sensing a theme!). Once again though, I will happily read what others put out there. Please, fic writers, help me understand how Takeru thinks! He’s such a mystery to me.

Daichi (Taichi/Daisuke)

The admiration Daisuke shows his senpai in canon is very endearing, even if it can seem a bit lopsided (though maybe, by the time Revenge of Dioboromon concludes, the admiration IS quite mutual??). I do like thinking about them as a mentor/mentee pair though, or equals/brothers-in-arms, learning from each other as they compare notes on leadership and decisionmaking.

Daimi (Mimi/Daisuke)

I loooooove their friendship!! IDK, between the NY segment of the World Tour Arc and the Door Into Summer audio drama, it’s there, right? Anyway, I still say these two are the Treat Yo’ Self squad for the Adventure kids, and I love picturing that dynamic for them.

I think me answering this ask is a bit of a stealth request for (short) fic recs that feature these relationships, lmao. I used to casually browse fanfiction a lot more than I do now, I guess I’m too picky or something (plus I have a HUGE backlog of mutuals’ fanfics to read, augh sorry!). And I didn’t mention it, but romantic thruples are good too! I would be interested in reading… oh, I don’t know, pretty much any combination of the older 02 characters in a polyamory situation (Dai/Ken/Miyako, Hikari/Takeru/Dai, Ken/Dai/Takeru, Dai/Miya/Wallace, etc).

So yeah. Shipping!! I love it. Does this mean the floodgates are finally open? IDK, but you could try sending me another Digimon character to see if I’d talk about the ship(s) I have for them!

#thanks for the ask this was fun to think about!#digimon adventure 02 #daisuke motomiya #shipping #multishipping #asks #digitalgate02

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quietbluejay · 1 month

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Know No Fear 1

so! it's gonna be fun rereading this now that i have a lot more knowledge about what on earth is going on so as i think i mentioned originally this one is written in a much more experimental style, sometimes it worked! A lot of the time…it didn't but i do remember this one being very much a "disaster movie" type of thing and also partially found footage maybe? I'm not going to post as much about it since it's, well, not as brainworm inducing but this is some very fun horror in the opening

it goes into a bit of detail about their deaths in a successfully horrifying way and I like it, I really feel like this whole sequence does a great job of setting the tone for the book which is, this very kind of organized way of looking at the world that Guilliman and the Ultramarines have, the regular kind of disaster and evaluation etc and then also there's these horrible unknowable things (daemons) that have invaded this world as part of the disaster

so, something i find funny is that consistently the Ultramarines are shooketh because the idea of Space Marines fighting each other is inconceivable to them "the idea is nonsense" "there is no tactical precedent" this is a repeated element and meanwhile over in A Thousand Sons, the SW and the TS are like thiiiis close to attacking each other the whole time and iirc there is some violence done lol not to mention the uh historical precedent of purging two legions

OWO MY BLORBO IS HERE

Iax mention oh hey in 10k years it's gonna turn into a battle ground!

ow that hurts because in the Horus-centric books we start to see him trying to move beyond this and thinking independently and perhaps…becoming a better person and then he gets stabbed by evil knife

skldfsdhkjfl ONE PARAGRAPH used the word "bastard"…let me count 5 times dan abnett: i need to swear but i'm not allowed to use the word "fuck" dan abnett: bastard can be used as an adjective right? this has to be read to be believed

wait i missed the last one SIX "bastard"s

okay these were fine but like the entire first 20% of the book (iirc) had scenes that ended with this kind of thing and it kind of got to the point of "okay, when is this actually gonna start" i'll see if it holds up better than it did in my memory i will say i do like how Abnett does try to get in a lot of views on the ground level, with ordinary people's POVs but also I remember being like GET TO THE POINT especially in the sample for Prospero Burns

i mean framing a war of conquest as "a necessary step taken for survival" sure is an absolute wonder of propaganda but also, really, how was the emperor planning on getting rid of them lmao

me, looking at Guilliman and sniffing you are so naive but like did guilliman look at how the space marines are created, like, at all???

who looks at that and thinks "ah yes they will pivot to do non violence things" i didn't really fully realize the extent of this when i originally read this also man imagine this guilliman waking up in the 41st millenium like "lol. lmao" and then there's his entire attitude of "the emperor doesn't make mistakes, im sure thing clear flaw actually had a purpose"

even the ultramarines are kind of like "we love you but you're being overly optimistic here"

me looking at the timeline like ???? was literally NO ONE from the loyalist side able to get through to Guilliman?? and this is before the Ruinstorm, the whole book is about how the Ruinstorm happened there's something like at least a full year between Istvaan V and Calth and Dorn and Terra knew about Horus before then because the Eisenstein got through and then over in Scars we got him (Dorn) repeatedly spamming Jaghatai with messages to make sure at least one got through

…man, i didn't get it the first time, but i'm eyes emoji that guilliman has under the table freedom of religion in ultramar Old Person Oll Persson is openly a Catheric and goes to a chapel with some of his neighbours and the worst he gets is some of his other neighbours in the area laughing at him (edited) and the chapel isn't a secret or anything hm. you know, logically, given that the nascent imperial faith is able to create miracles you'd think there'd have been more miracles popping up in the face of the great crusade you're trying to stamp out religions. that's literally the kind of situation that creates martyrs.

also, you're telling me there were zero societies doing daemon worship that decided to summon them in the course of the conquest? well they could try to push it under the rug like the whole samus incident but it's not so much the effect on the space marines and imperium I'm thinking about, but on the people being conquered. You have your miracles or your daemon summoning, or whatever, you have tangible, visible proof that your faith is real the iterators with their dollar store arguments are going to find it extremely difficult to make a real dent in that

once again, when examined, the imperium having as much cohesion as it does in canon, makes absolutely zero sense

I respect that Warhammer40k is 100% aesthetic first, making sense second, but also I think you COULD very much keep the aesthetic while still having things make more sense like having a whole bunch of different empires and independent entities you could up the despair by having everyone embroiled in wars with each other as much as they're fighting Chaos

or people who genuinely think Chaos is the better of two evils to ally with against the Imperium i think also this would work really well for guilliman's return because he totally would see it as a priority to reconquer all the worlds from the great crusade

oh hey look at that it's the future doctrine of the imperium

and that's his take on it

you know, given the codex and reverence with which guilliman's writings are held you know i'm pretty sure he is the base for 40k imperial doctrine he's appalled by it but at its root, it's this he keeps walking the exact same steps as the emperor his primary objection is "you're making the wrong sacrifices" and he is unable to step out of the paradigm just like the emperor nothing he builds will outlast him, and also depends on him making the correct decision 100% of the time

oh boy it's time for the guilliman description

i just really love the line "like a good sword is handsome"

i feel like at some point i should read one of the space wolf books because i cannot get a straight answer about Russ and I don't actually trust anyone's reading comprehension here it's also fun how Guilliman is an unreliable narrator w.r.t. the nature/personality of his brothers haha

like this bit here

ah oof the next paragraph is pain after reading dark imperium, given all the bits that are like "for all his other talents guilliman is, at his base, a sword"

also people actually laugh at his jokes in the Heresy-era rip future!Guilliman

sjkdfhsd I love how when the chapter masters raise their eyebrows at him because he's going to handle Thiel's reprimand he's like "ok yes i know i'm micromanaging but i've already had several meetings that could have been emails with Erebus and I'm going to have to deal with him in PERSON and micromanaging is my stress relief okay" the chapter masters, all being familiar with erebus, agree that this is fair, lmao

"hur dur space marines competing and clashing is all part of the emperor's vision, his sons will always stop things before they go too far"

also i love how they refer to Monarchia and reframe it as a "humiliation" rather than, you know, a war crime it's a humiliation to lorgar and the word bearers what? the people living in there? i don't know her our ultramarine who is friends with a word bearer is like "it clearly bothered Guilliman to be used as an instrument of humiliation" but still. Even Guilliman who is the "good one" is very much an aristocrat the only way Monarchia matters is as a humiliation to the people that matter

rip Luciel though

ahhhhh delicious delicious dramatic irony IT SURE WILL, HUH

(I'm not going to post as much about this one, I said, like a liar)

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer

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