#like they had the miscommunication and break up but now they’ve literally been through it all….always looking forward to their future… | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yoonpobs · 3 years

Text

bad boy good thing xiii.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 5, 635

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

hello friends!!! here is the next update :D i hope you enjoy the read! it's been a v long week for me so it's nice to just unwind hehe. thank you for the support & love you all!!!!

“Are you going to just … stare at me?” Jungkook clears his throat as his eyes dart anywhere but forward. It was less uncomfortable that way.

The two people in front of him don’t flatter him with an immediate response, instead; they stare him down harder until Jungkook can quite literally feel the stare of their eyes burning a hole into his forehead. He nearly shrinks into his seat, but he manages to pull a somewhat neutral expression even if he was on the verge of a meltdown.

“Maybe.” Jimin retorts snappishly.

Jungkook knew Jimin would be the pettier one between the two, but again; it’s not unwarranted. So he sucks it up like a big boy and nods his head slowly in understanding.

However, Taehyung was a different situation. His blank face was already intimidating as it is and Jungkook’s known him ever since the two of them were in middle school. More often than not people mistook him for cold and disinterested, whereas he usually just got lost in his thoughts.

But it’s obvious when Taehyung doesn’t like someone. He doesn’t put up a front to pretend that things are dandy and that he vibes with you. No, Taehyung’s blank face returns and it’s tenfold. But Jungkook knew it wasn’t just that, that resulted in the permanent vacant expression etched onto his expression—it’s paired with the fact that Jungkook’s an idiot and this is his punishment.

Jungkook knows better that Taehyung isn’t the type to take things head-on (like Jimin), but rather allow people to ruminate in their thoughts as he stares you down with a gaze so intense that it feels like he’s unpacking every single stray thought that passes by your mind. Jungkook is aware, but he’s never had to be on the receiving end of it.

“Are we going to, uh, order?” Jungkook asks, hands gripping the menu tightly.

Taehyung still stares, and Jimin narrows his eyes at the younger boy.

“You know ____ hasn’t arrived yet, right?” His tone is accusatory and Jungkook feels himself pale.

“I didn’t mean—okay,” He sighs in defeat, “We’ll wait.”

Jimin eyes him carefully before opting to skim through the menu. Jungkook knows it’s a front to not have to engage with him since they’ve frequented the same diner more than enough times for the waiters and waitresses to know their orders by heart. It’s been a while since they came here, and Jungkook knows that he’s partly to blame.

It sucks, sitting here in silence when he remembers that the three of them, you aside—used to engage in stupid banter and talked about the most random things like college boys do. They were his best friends, Jungkook grew up with them and he distinctly remembers always getting into trouble with the two boys until their parents only sighed every time they saw them returning home with guilty expressions ridden on their faces.

Now the banter is replaced with tense silence, but it doesn’t feel like it’s over. Jungkook hopes, at least.

Before Jungkook can say something else, he feels someone slip into the empty seat next to him.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late.” Your voice is sweet and cheerful, and it’s nice to hear you like this again.

Jungkook looks up and sees you smiling at everyone, oblivious to the strained mood of the table before you came.

“Don’t apologise,” Taehyung says for the first time, offering you a small smile, “We were waiting for you, weren’t we?”

Jungkook stiffens, fully aware that it was directed to him. He wanted to lamely interject and say that it wasn’t what he meant, but he knew that Jimi would give him more shit for that anyway.

“You didn’t have to!” You exclaim.

Jungkook feels somewhat satisfied at the scowl that plagues Jimin’s expression, but it’s quickly covered with a beaming smile in your direction as he calls over a waiter.

“We know our orders, right?” Jimin asks.

You nod, smiling brightly; clearly excited to be here again.

And Jungkook feels nice, too. It’s nice being here, with the three of you—even if Jimin and Taehyung were still giving him the cold shoulder it was much better than pretending like everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t.

“It’s nice to be back,” You smile to yourself after the four of you order, and Jungkook can only agree.

Maybe it wasn’t so nice, after all.

Because the entire time, Jimin and Taehyung were dead-set on making Jungkook feel the guilt of his actions tenfold when they pick apart at every word he offers into the conversation.

“Have we not been here for that long? Even the interiors changed a little.”

“I don’t know, Jungkook. Who’s fault is that?” Jimin says off-handedly, unbothered to even cast him a glance.

“Wait, really? There’s a forum coming up?”

“Didn’t we all know? _____ is the one who organised it.” Surprisingly, this came from Taehyung.

“I’m stuffed.”

“With bullshit—?”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

Your voice is loud enough to silence the entire table and even causes a few other patrons to turn their heads in the direction of your table.

Jimin is blinking at you with wide eyes, as Taehyung only gapes at the decibel of your voice that he’s never heard from you before. Jungkook only presses himself against his seat, and subtly inches away from you.

But you turn your head towards him and shoot him a glare so venomous that he stiffens in position.

“Don’t you dare shift away from me, Jeon.” You warn threateningly.

Jungkook swallows, too stunned to move.

Then, you turn to face the two unblinking men.

“And you two,” You narrow your eyes at them menacingly, “I told you that I’d deal with this on my own so why are you the ones holding grudges?”

Jimin opens his mouth to respond, but Taehyung is nudging him with his elbows to shut up.

“I expected better from you!” You cry, “What are you guys, five? Or is that how many brain cells you have combined?” You scowl. They’re still blinking at you when you continue to fume. “No. I’m pretty sure it’s less than that because at the rate you’re acting I’m beginning to think that this fork better conversational skills than the three of you.” You hold up your utensil for good measure and the boys can only blink at you.

The last part is directed to everyone, and Jungkook can only listen to you rant as he presses himself against his seat.

“I just wanted to hang out like usual.” You flutter your eyes shut in annoyance, “I asked for one day—one day!” You exclaim, “Just to be with you guys because we haven’t done that in forever. And you couldn’t push aside whatever hostility you have towards Jungkook for this?”

You sound so disappointed, and your voice subdues out into a whisper when you glance at the table. Jimin and Taehyung had the decency to look guilty and apologetic when they realise that you were actually serious about it. Because rarely have you ever blown up, if not—ever.

“_____, we’re sorry—” Jimin begins.

“Are you?” You snap irritatedly, “I told you that I didn’t want to make things complicated and here you guys are—doing exactly that. I resolved whatever I had to with Jungkook, and let’s not pretend like he was the only one at fault here. The two of you are opening a closed book and it’s unnecessary. I just wanted to hang out with you guys and laugh about our balding lecturers, is that so much to ask for?”

“I think—” Jungkook begins, feeling slightly more confident to speak up after you’ve somewhat defended him, but the way you snap your head to him to send him a blazing look shut him up immediately.

“And don’t think you’re off the hook either,” You seethe, “Jimin and Taehyung have every right to be mad but they don’t have the right to ruin the atmosphere of our hangout right now. That doesn’t change the fact that you messed up.”

Your words are sharp, and his eyes widen when you scold him. It oddly feels like the three men were being lectured by a parent, and it’s not far off because you’ve always been the level headed one amongst the four of you anyway.

“I’m sorry, ____.” Jimin offers apologetically, but your ears are flushed for obvious reasons before you mutter an excuse to head to the bathroom.

When you storm off, the three men stare at each other unblinking for a few seconds before Taehyung breaks the silence.

“Listen,” He sighs, “Clearly, Jimin and I are pissed.”

Jungkook’s eye twitches, that’s an understatement.

“But, we have a right to be—like she said,” Taehyung continues. Jungkook doesn’t argue there, “But we care about her as much as you do, and we don’t want her to feel any more disappointed than what she had to feel for the past month. So we’ll drop it.”

“Why are you speaking on behalf of the both of you because I’m pretty sure hyung is staring at me like I’ve murdered ten kittens,” Jungkook mumbles under his breath, off-put by Jimin’s unwavering glare.

“He’s not far off.” Jimin retorts, then he sighs, relaxing his features ever so slightly to look at Jungkook with an expression much softer than what he’s received so far. “I’m disappointed in you, and I probably will be for a very long time. But … you’re still my best friend, and even if I feel like knocking you into every available surface I’m willing to push that desire aside if it means we can make ____ happy.”

Jungkook blinks.

“I …” He croaks, “I’m sorry, to the both of you. I messed up and … I really regret it.”

Taehyung offers a small smile, “You don’t have to apologise to us. It’s ___—”

“Yeah, I know.” He clears his throat. “But the two of you are my friends too and you’ve done nothing but guide me even if I acted like it annoyed me most of the times; I really appreciated the things you told me, even if I blatantly went against it.”

Jimin purses his lips, staring hard at the boy.

“I want us to be okay too, as much as I patched things up with her; you guys are my best friends as well,” Jungkook says softly.

“If ____ forgives you then …” Jimin mutters, though Jungkook can tell it comes from a good place. “I guess I can work with that.”

It’s something, Jungkook thinks.

But then you’re still not back and the three men look at each other in worry.

“I’ll go get her,” Jungkook declares, but before he can push himself up—Taehyung is stopping him with a hand and a cock of his head.

“I’ll do it.”

And when he leaves to get you, Jungkook and Jimin are left in a mini stare off, the awkward atmosphere still tense enough. Not until Jimin gestures to his face.

“Your cheek …”

Jungkook sighs.

“You know there are people who need to pee too, right?” Taehyung hums outside the cubicle. He’s sure you’re in there because he spots your sneakers through the slit, and he’s lucky enough he can because he wasn’t sure how else he’d explain him leaning outside a stall while he talks to it.

You stay silent, dabbing at your eyes with the tissue you brought in. You feel a little stupid for crying about it but you hated the atmosphere out there. It was weird and awkward and the four of you never had moments like that. You always had things to talk about or even just to laugh at each other. The silence and glares were suffocating, and you couldn’t help but feel like it was all your fault.

“I’m going to piss on the floor if you don’t open the door.” Taehyung threatens in a bored tone.

You sniff, loud enough for him to hear as you roll your eyes at his ultimatum.

“Don’t think I won’t do it, _____.” He warns, and you hear fabric rustling that has your eyes widening.

“Don’t pee on the damn floor!” You hiss.

“Then open the door.” Taehyung retorts smartly.

You scowl, glancing into the mirror one last time to ensure that your eyes weren’t as red as you hoped they to be. It comes to no avail because your eyes are puffy enough to tell him that you’ve been crying, and you knew that you couldn’t lie your way through it.

“I’m giving you five more seconds,” He calls, “Five … four … three … two—I’m about to piss—!”

You unlock the door and pull it open, and greet Taehyung with a vehement glare of your own as he smiles down at you, but only for a bit until he notices the puffiness of your eyes and the pout of your lips.

“You know it’s kind of depressing if you lock yourself up in the cubicle of a diner to cry.” He says softly, arms reaching out to bring you into an embrace.

You don’t fight him, even if you don’t make an effort to hug him back. You were sulking.

“Well that’s what happens when your best friends are acting like assholes.” You snap back in a sniffle.

He sighs, patting your head gently as he forces your arm around his waist; shooting you a stern glare that you roll your eyes at.

“You know we’re looking out for you.” He chides gently, and you feel very much like a petulant child when you huff at his response.

“I just wanted to hang out with you guys without things being weird.” You mumble against his chest.

“I know.” He hums.

“But you had to make it weird.” You complain. “What are you? A social justice warrior? I told you I could deal with it on my own.”

Taehyung chuckles, squeezing you a little tighter as you scowl into his shirt. You knew you were being a little dramatic but you didn’t want the dynamics of the group to shift just because of the situation you got yourself in with Jungkook. Even if you were in love with him and he was … in love with you. Your friendship with the three of them meant the absolute world to you.

“I’m sorry,” He apologises, pulling away slightly to look at you with sincere eyes.

You look away and sulk.

He sighs, knowing that it would be much harder to get you to feel better than just an apology.

“Look, I’ll lay it off and I’ll make sure Jimin doesn’t overstep either. Promise.” He offers with a smile.

You look at him with tentative eyes as you raise a brow at him.

“Isn’t Jimin with Kook right now?”

Taehyung opens his mouths, then closes, before he wraps an arm around your shoulder to tug you closer into his grasp.

“After this. I make no promises that Jimin hasn’t caused bodily harm on Jungkook in the meantime.” He says.

You snort, picturing Jungkook cowering or at least avoiding Jimin’s eyes now that they were alone. You knew that the bruise on Jungkook’s cheek was Jimin’s doing, and while you already talked his ear off for that, you appreciated the gesture. Even if it did look like it hurt like a bitch.

“I just want things to go back to normal.” You mumble, fiddling with your thumbs.

Taehyung nods his head and sighs.

“It will. We’re okay. You’re okay. We’ll be okay.” He comforts you with a soothing tone.

You nibble on your lips, “I guess …”

Taehyung stops in his tracks as he was about to bring you back out when you mumble those words so softly he nearly misses them.

“You guess …? Is there something—?”

“I just,” You sigh, “Jungkook and I spoke and we … cleared things up. But it’s still … it still sucks.” You finish lamely.

Taehyung gives you a sad smile before turning you around so that he can grab onto your shoulders.

“What he said doesn’t define you. And I know for a fact that he’s beating himself up over it. It sucks because he’s your best friend and he was the one that said those things to you. But none of that is true because you’re the most interesting, smart and best girl I know.” He smiles at you, even when you flush and look away.

“Stop …” You whine, avoiding his gaze and you hear him chuckle.

“Jungkook’s dumb. He’s our friend, but he’s dumb.” Taehyung snickers.

You roll your eyes but a smile teases the corner of your lips.

“It’s not just that …” You mumble softly, pink dusting your cheeks. “I told him that I was in love with him.”

At this, Taehyung quite literally chokes on his breath.

“You—what?!”

You scowl, “God, you don’t have to be so loud.” You thwack his chest and even as he winces he still has a stupefied expression on his face.

“You … love … what?” He blinks, “What the hell did I miss? Does anyone else know? When did this happen?”

You huff, “Look, that isn’t … important. Not now, at least. I told him that I needed time to sort things out myself and … yeah.” You murmur softly.

You know Taehyung wants to press further, but he doesn’t do that because your demeanour says to drop it. He sighs, pulling you into his embrace once more before he gives you an easy smile.

“Take all the time you need, okay?” He reassures you softly, and somehow it does feel a little better.

“Were the extra ten laps really necessary?” Jungkook pants, hands falling onto his knees just as he completes the last God forsaken round.

“I don’t know. Were they?” Namjoon hums, opting to skim over Jungkook’s hunched figure with a shrug.

“You’re holding a grudge on me,” Jungkook says in a tone of disbelief.

Namjoon shoots the younger boy an unimpressed look.

“Am I?” He returns, and Jungkook already feels the incoming headache approaching.

“Look, I get Jimin and Tae because the two would literally die for her … but you?” Jungkook exasperates.

Namjoon sighs, clicking the pen in his grasp before shoving it into his back pockets. By no means was Namjoon unnecessarily intimidating, because besides the fact that he towered over most people and frequented the gym as his second home; he was a decent guy and great company.

That, and he never imposed his authority as the captain of the football team onto any of the footballers, or his peers, which made him all the more approachable and likeable. Jungkook had nothing against him, but after finding out that he too had feelings for you; he’s bound to view the older boy differently.

“Jungkook, I already told you—you’re my friend and I like you.” He deadpans, “But you’re also an idiot so you’ll pay for being one. It’s really that simple.”

Jungkook narrows his eyes, “And this has nothing to do with your feelings for her?”

Namjoon snorts, waving him off as the rest of the footballers come pooling out of the changing rooms.

“I think you’re projecting a little,” He snickers and ignores the look of disbelief that covers Jungkook’s face when the footballers start gathering around the two.

“He made you run an extra lap?” Jimin snickers.

Namjoon hears this and smiles, “Ten.” He corrects.

Taehyung lets out a low whistle before patting his sullen-looking younger friend on the back while he scowls. Jungkook couldn’t say anything because he’s aware enough to know that his mouth was the one thing that got him into most of the trouble he’s ever got himself into. So he swallows his pride and wipes his sweat, even pretends to smile tightly at Jeonghan when he asks why.

The practice is brutal, well; for Jungkook at least.

Jungkook knew that Namjoon was a strict but reasonable person by nature; and to a certain extent, petty. The only reason he knew was because of his feelings for you and that irked him. But he didn’t know how far Namjoon was willing to go just to prove a point, to you or to Jungkook; he wasn’t quite sure.

But Jungkook’s pride gets the better of him when he waves off concerned stares from the rest of his members. Even Jimin looked mildly worried when Jungkook was required to do an extra circuit or two just because his form looked ‘off’.

Jungkook’s form hadn’t looked off since high school.

And that’s how you find him, splayed out on the ground as he pants for air and stares up at the sky as if he was waiting for God to pick him up.

“Why are you on the ground?” He hears you before he sees you.

And when he opens his eyes, it’s like he’s seeing an angel. He’s half-convinced that he’s died and gone to heaven because your confused face is peering down at him from above.

“I think I’m dead.” He wheezes.

You roll your eyes, immediately squatting next to him before you shuffle through your bag to take something out.

Jungkook can’t even be bothered to ask what it was, but only when you press the object against his forehead and he feels the cool touch of a cold bottle; he ironically melts into the feeling.

“Here.” You thrust the bottle to him.

“God I lo—” Jungkook’s out of it, but not that out of it to let it slip.

You seem to notice, and your ears flush at the near slip-up. Jungkook clears his throat before attempting to sit up, head spinning at the suddenness of his actions.

“Thank you,” He rectifies his mistake immediately, offering you a meek smile.

The sheepish smile you return him with is enough. And he misses you even if you’re right in front of him; because things had been off for so long and having you back … even if you weren’t his, felt better than ever.

But Jungkook’s never pined for anyone else besides you, and it’s tiring. Yet, when you smile at him it feels like it’s worth it.

“Are you checking up on the corpse?” A voice interrupts Jungkook’s dazed expression when he stares at you for a second too long.

He turns his head and sees the cause of the numbness in his legs.

Namjoon is all smiles when he jogs over, Jimin and Taehyung following closely behind as they snicker at the interaction.

“You didn’t have to be so mean.” You pout up at the taller man, standing up as you only reach the height of his shoulders. It would’ve been cute to Jungkook if Namjoon didn’t look so taken with you.

“Someone’s gotta take care of things for you,” He jokes, ruffling your hair.

Things have been going better enough for people to poke fun at Jungkook, and even if he flushes at any mention of what happened—he knows that he’s got to deal with the consequences.

He didn’t know that the extra touchiness from Namjoon’s end was one of them.

“Never thought I’d see the day the great Jeon fall.” Jimin snorts.

You raise an eyebrow.

“What?” He shrugs, “He’s always telling us hyungs that he could one-up all of us with his eyes closed.”

Taehyung nods while Namjoon only chuckles at the statement.

“Not saying that you deserve it but you deserve it, man.” Taehyung laments.

Jungkook scowls from where he sits on the grass, but you’re nice as always when you reach a hand out for him to grab.

He stares at it, struck again by your kindness. And when he looks up the evening sunset flares behind you and you looked like a painting in a museum.

“Wow.” Jungkook blurts.

He didn’t mean to, and everyone caught on his stupefied expression.

“All right,” Namjoon rolls his eyes, tugging Jungkook up himself as the younger boy scowls at the moment being ruined. “Up, loverboy.”

You huff, turning on your heels to hide the way your cheeks had turned red when you noticed Jungkook’s gaze lingering longer than it should.

Taehyung and Jimin shoot each other a look, one that goes missing from you and the two other men. In fact, Jungkook shoots Namjoon a glare that he blissfully ignores in spite of trailing behind you, taking advantage of the fact that Jungkook’s legs are too wobbly to catch up.

“What the—?”

“Hurry up, Jeon. Yena’s waiting and you know how she gets when people are late!” Namjoon calls over his shoulder, before offering you a dimpled grin and grabbing your bag to alleviate the strain on your shoulder.

Jungkook knows that things are better and he’s damn grateful he’s able to be around you without watching over his words anymore. But the childish and immature side of him turns green when he sees the shy smile you return Namjoon.

He knows, that you feel the same way. But somehow his mind overthinks it and asks: what if?

“You look constipated,” Taehyung mumbles off-handedly, clasping a hand to his back when Jungkook stays rooted in position.

“Deserved,” Jimin says.

Jungkook scowls, dejectedly following close by as the five of you walk out of the field.

“That was absolutely uncomfortable.” Yena declares the moment she steps foot into your apartment.

You scowl.

“It wasn’t that bad …” You mumble.

Yena flops herself onto your couch and raises an eyebrow as if to say really.

“Listen I know you and Jeon exchanged vows and a dowry the other day but Namjoon is definitely a close contender. I swear I saw him whipping out a pen mid-meal to write you a love poem.”

You groan, flopping face forward as you stuff your scream into your cushion.

“Why me?” You cry.

You can feel Yena rolling her eyes behind you.

“Oh boo-hoo, your life is so hard. Two hot beefy men are in love with you, wow—things must be so difficult. Would you like a free pass in a therapy session?” She mocks pouts at you when you lift your head to glare up at her.

“They are not …” You remember what Jungkook said and you clear your throat, “… Namjoon isn’t …”

Yena scoffs.

“Well he’s definitely breaking ten different traffic laws to get there.” She retorts.

You slump back into your couch as you stare up at the ceiling.

“I thought things would get better.”

Yena shuffles until she’s settled comfortably next to you, “Are things … not?” She asks carefully.

You sigh, fiddling with the edge of your cushion.

“They are, don’t get me wrong.” You say softly, “It’s just that … I know Joon has feelings for me, and I know … I mean Jungkook is Jungkook,” You explain lamely and Yena awaits your continuation patiently. “I’m not stupid. I’m pretty sure they’re both aware of their feelings, and Jimin and Taehyung are just the bystanders witnessing shit hit the fan. And I’m … well, I’m there.”

“You mean you’re the main character.” She interjects.

You scowl, chucking the cushion at her as she dodges with a cackle.

“Things are better but they’re still weird.” You mumble.

Yena sighs, nodding understandingly as she pats your head softly.

“But you said you needed time, right? To figure things out on your own?” She asks.

You nod your head.

“Yeah,” You breathe, “I do. I mean, I know what I feel and I’ve felt this way for a long time. The only person I’ve ever … loved … is Jungkook. But I don’t know if that’s a byproduct of proximity and familiarity or because he was the only person that I’ve ever … you know.” You gesture your hands ambiguously but Yena gets the point.

“I understand.” She nods, “But things won’t be easy, not at first at least. It’s weird, I know. Going from your best friend to a potential lover, a stranger to a man who’s willing to put his star quarterback on the line and two best friends who are well—they’ve always been overbearing but they’re there.” She ends with a roll of her eyes.

Your face crumbles, “Why are things so complicated?” You cry, leaning onto her shoulder as she sighs and rubs a finger over your shoulder.

“You’ve got all the time in the world. You don’t owe anyone anything, remember that okay?” She hums softly.

“Just because you stare at them long enough doesn’t mean you suddenly get telepathic abilities.” Jimin snorts.

It’s been fifteen minutes since Jungkook’s stepped into the library, courtesy of Jimin who wanted to study for an upcoming test with him. It’s a step towards mending their friendship, and Jungkook is immensely grateful; so he didn’t think twice before responding to Jimin that he’d be their stat.

But he remembers that Jimin is cunning, not maliciously, but very impertinently. He was smart and sly all at once, and while he didn’t explicitly state anything—the timing seemed all too perfect for it to be purely a coincidence.

“Not staring,” Jungkook mutters.

Yet, his eyes remain trained on your figure.

Jungkook’s always had issues with envy, ever since he was younger. If someone made the cut before he did, he’d internally curse them out in his head and work ten times as hard out of spite. It’s somewhat toxic, but it allowed him to outdo himself every single time he felt that familiar green eyes emotion. He’s also no stranger to jealousy, and he’s remembered feeling the very same feeling he’s feeling now multiple times throughout his life, all for similar reasons.

You.

It wasn’t just because you were great at everything you did, excelling in your academics and extra-curricular, making students and superiors around you impressed with your work ethic. You were never ordinary; in fact, all you did in your life was outdo yourself in every single aspect and Jungkook always admired and envied that. It always made him feel like you were in two different worlds, where Jungkook had to work twice as hard compared to anyone else to achieve peak efficiency while you seemed to breeze by the things that you did.

Even when the two of you were in high school, he’d always fantasise what it would be like to be with you, to kiss you and to hold your hand or call you his. But he’s never thought you’d ever see him that way because all you’ve ever alluded to was him being nothing but a friend, a younger boy who had the stars in his eyes. If only you knew that it was a reflection of your face.

And the feeling is all too familiar, even when he first came to college and remembered seeing you interact with different guys that all seemed like they were taken with you. How could they not be? You were soft, sweet, kind and understanding—never the type to impose yourself or make others feel uncomfortable. You were a perfect combination of soft and relentless, the mixture of your best qualities and it seemed like Jungkook wasn’t the only person who saw that.

And he knew, he knew that you’d never lie to him, explicitly at least, or about things that mattered. So he doesn’t count your feelings, but it’s frustrating to have you right there but not at all. Especially when he recognises the look on Namjoon’s face intimately when he looks at you, bodies pressed adjacently in a booth in the library.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Jungkook scowls.

Jimin blinks innocently at his friend before a cheeky smile appears on his face, his hands pausing in between the sheets of his textbook.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He feigns innocence.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, further slumping in his chair before he forces himself to tear his wandering eyes away from you.

“What a way to rekindle a friendship …” He mutters dryly.

Jimin stares at Jungkook pointedly, “Hey, the library is open to all students. Don’t go pointing fingers at me.”

“Jimin, I literally suggested we head to an overnight cafe and you said if I wanted to fix us then I had to listen to you,” Jungkook says dryly, “And I quote—or else.”

“Okay, maybe I may have been projecting a little—”

“Jimin …” He groans.

“But look, it’s not the end of the world so don’t go ahead and get your panties in a twist, all right?” Jimin snorts, “Just 'cause she’s over there with Mr Beefy doesn’t mean you’re out of the race. Let’s just say you’re sporting a broken foot.”

Jungkook only responds with a bland look.

“That doesn’t—”

“—and a dislocated knee. Maybe a torn hamstring?” Jimin ponders like the details actually mattered. “Yeah, a pulled hamstring. A torn ACL too for a kick. And you know who’s fault all of that was?”

Jungkook sighs, “Yes, Jimin, I know. It’s me—”

“No. It’s me. Because I’m planning on dragging this out as far as I can even if you and she made amends. You fucked with someone I cared about and this is how I hold you accountable. I’m going to draw out every lone interaction she shares with Joon and make you watch it like the porn you consume in an unhealthy amount. I’ll make it so that all you’ll see when you close your eyes is the way hyung looks at her and how you can’t do anything but watch.”

Jimin says all of that in one go and with an unblinking stare. If Jimin was looking for a reaction, he definitely got one because Jungkook is gawking at him with a disturbed expression at how utterly menacing he looks.

“You’re fucking terrifying,” He exhales.

“And you’re a little shit,” Jimin returns with a huff. His eyes dart behind Jungkook for a second before his smile is expression is replaced with an evil grin, “Oh, look at that. He’s brushing her hair back—how cute.” He coos.

Jungkook groans, sinking into his chair when Jimin snickers.

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faebriel · 3 years

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ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

��Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

#ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK TWO WEEKS. LMFAO #asks #thespoonisvictory #dvd commentary #< i have successfully coerced a discord server into doing the dvd commentary on a regular basis and it is the BEST thing

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passionate-reply · 3 years

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This week on Passionate Reply: We all know “Don’t You Want Me,” but the early Human League is a totally different beast, featuring a different line-up, and songs about killer clowns and wanting to be a skyscraper, on their debut LP, 1979′s Reproduction. Transcript below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums. In this installment, we’ll be investigating one of the most surprising debut LPs around: The Human League’s Reproduction, first released in 1979.

Pretty much anyone with a general understanding of Western pop will already know the name of the Human League, and associate them, rightfully, with their early 80s hits like “Don’t You Want Me.” For many, the Human League were the first genuine synth-pop that they had ever heard, and their work in the 1980s has been immeasurably influential in bringing the notion of electronic pop into the mainstream. But before they were hitmakers and game-changers, the Human League were a very different band.

Music: “Being Boiled”

“Being Boiled” was the first thing the Human League would ever press to wax, way back in 1978. In most respects, this track is everything that “Don’t You Want Me” is not: its pace is languid, its structure is shapeless and meandering, and rather than a simple and relatable love story, its lyrics offer us a strange and opaque condemnation of the tortures endured by silkworms during textile production. While fascinating, and endearing in its own morbid way, “Being Boiled” does not exactly scream “hit record.” The Human League were not only a different band in a stylistic sense, but also with respect to their personnel, driven by a creative core comprised of budding synthesists Martyn Ware and Ian Craig Marsh. Prior to the release of the breakthrough album Dare, Marsh and Ware would abandon the group over creative differences, and go on to form Heaven 17 instead. It was vocalist Phil Oakey, and producer Martin Rushent, who would create the sound that their name is now so strongly associated with, and this early incarnation of the group is probably best thought of as an entirely different entity. This album, Reproduction, was their first full-length release, and is perhaps the best introduction to their pioneering sound.

Music: “Circus of Death”

“Circus of Death” had appeared as the B-side to “Being Boiled,” and was included once more as the second track on *Reproduction.* It has a lot in common with the other track it accompanied: a plodding pace, a dark and obtuse lyrical theme, and a sparse, fully electronic instrumentation. The Human League were among the first British groups to utilize a totally electronic sound, devoid of any traditional instruments besides the voice, though in this underground and more experimental context, it doesn’t present a threat to the status quo of pop the way that Dare would a few years later. Alongside fellow proto-industrial acts associated with "the Sound of Sheffield," like Clock DVA and Cabaret Voltaire, they dwelt on the fringes of good taste, crafting subversive music for subversive people. “Circus of Death” introduces us to a demonic figure called “the Clown,” who controls, and torments, human beings by use of a drug called “Dominion,” in a scenario that sounds a bit like Huxley’s Brave New World. It’s worth remembering that while younger generations are quick to think of clowns as icons of evil and terror, clowns were unironically beloved as bringers of joy for most of the 20th Century, and these early portrayals of clowns as killers were indeed shocking at the time. Preceding “Circus of Death,” and opening the album, is “Almost Medieval,” a track with some similar themes, but a rather different composition.

Music: “Almost Medieval”

While “Circus of Death” is slow and dirgelike, “Almost Medieval” showcases the more aggressive side of *Reproduction.* It opens the album with a starkly simplistic tick-tocking beat, reminiscent of an unaccompanied metronome, before bursting into its punk-like sonic assault--a musical representation of how seemingly predictable and deterministic machines can also create something outrageous and unexpected. The lyrics of this track seem pointed towards the past, with the narrator exclaiming that they “feel so old,” and as if they’ve died many times before. Juxtaposed against the thoroughly modern setting of an airport with tarmacs and jet engines, it might be taken as an expression of the horror a person from the past might feel if they were shown the world of the future, created by capitalism and high technology. While it isn’t very accurate, we have a tendency to think of the “Medieval” world as a barbaric, unclean, and uncivilized era, full of witch hunts, chastity belts, and the deliberate erasure of “ancient wisdom.” “Almost Medieval” turns that idea on its head, suggesting that perhaps our world is the one that’s truly barbaric. The image of its narrator, “falling through a rotting ladder,” can be taken as a rejection of the notion of a “ladder” of progress. Similar themes of open-ended symbolism, and the sorrow of modernity, can be found on “Empire State Human.”

Music: “Empire State Human”

Like “Almost Medieval,” “Empire State Human” is lively and faster-paced, with driving percussion. With its straightforward rhymes and repetitive structure, it readily encourages the listener to sing along, almost as if joining in some sort of ritual chant. It’s an idea that Marsh and Ware would return to in their Heaven 17 days, with tracks like “We Don’t Need This Fascist Groove Thang.” “Empire State Human” was the album’s only single, and thanks to this exposure, and its (relative) palatability compared to the rest of their catalogue, it remains one of the best known tracks from the early Human League. “Empire State Human” makes its concept pretty clear, with less ambiguous lyrics and an easy to follow mix that brings Oakey’s voice to the fore: the narrator wishes to become a building, and a mighty skyscraper no less, which might rival the achievements of the Pyramids of the ancient Egyptians. While it is clear that that’s what the song’s about, what we do with this once again high-concept subject matter is up to us. I like to think that this is some kind of perverse commentary on the unnatural and alienating experience of urban living, which may come with the feeling that the concrete and rebar structures that surround us are more significant to our lives than the people who may live or work in them. City life is addressed more directly by the track “Blind Youth.”

Music: “Blind Youth”

“Blind Youth” is probably the most “grounded” track on the album, in terms of its theme, making pointed remarks about “dehumanization” and “high-rise living.” It’s tempting to think of it as a sort of parallel to “Empire State Human,” with a broadly similar musical backdrop, and a more literal expression of the theme hinted at more obliquely by “Empire State Human.” With its focus on the experiences of the titular “youth,” “Blind Youth” can also be contrasted with “Almost Medieval,” whose narrator keens about feeling old. Where “Almost Medieval” deals with the disgust an older person feels at the decrepit state of the human race, “Blind Youth” shows the demented, unthinking joy of the youth, who have grown up in an industrialized and urbanized world, and don’t know different--or better.

While there have been many classic underground albums whose covers aimed to shock and displease polite society, the cover of Reproduction is one of the few that I feel would still be seen as offensive, over 40 years later. It was allegedly the product of a miscommunication between the group and the illustrator commissioned to create it; the band requested a scene in which people are dancing above a ward of babies in glass-topped incubators, and the striking angle, which seems to show people crushing infants underfoot, is an unintentional aspect of the design. Unintentional or not, this crudely violent aspect dominates the final composition, and lends it vileness and immediacy. Like the lyrics of many of the songs, the combination of the cover and title can be interpreted a number of ways. Perhaps it’s a glib commentary on human reproduction as fun and games: we partake in the “dance” of courtship and sexuality, and babies drop beneath our feet. Or perhaps it suggests a contrast between life’s enjoyments, like dancing, and its stressors, like the responsibilities of parenthood. It’s hard not to see so many crying, seemingly distressed infants without becoming upset oneself, and I think the deep instinctual revulsion that this piece inspires is part of why it’s remained so resonant in its subversiveness.

As I mentioned in my introduction, the Human League have gone down in history chiefly for the music they made later, which has largely buried this early period as part of their legacy--at least in the public eye and outside of the dedicated diggings of motivated enthusiasts. If you’re a fan of what you’ve heard from this album, you’ll probably enjoy their 1980 follow-up Travelogue, as well as their EP, Holiday ‘80. Given the emphasis on long-form albums among music aficionados, EPs and their exclusive tracks are quite frequently missed, but Holiday ‘80 is a gem from this short-lived line-up, featuring the fragile “Marianne” as well as a cover of the stadium favourite “Rock ‘N’ Roll,” made famous by Gary Glitter. Thumbing its nose at everything the culture of “rock and roll” stands for, and transposing this hymn to its greatness into an abrasive and sterile lunar landscape of synths, this is one of my favourite covers of all time, and seems to prefigure how a very different Human League would later become the archnemesis of all that rock fans held holy. It was also one of very few tracks to be performed on Top of the Pops, and subsequently see not a rise, but a drop in the singles charts!

Music: “Rock ‘N’ Roll”

My favourite track on Reproduction is one that appears on its second side, unlike the other tracks I’ve talked about so far: “Austerity / Girl One.” Side Two of Reproduction is mainly focused on longer and more narrative-driven tracks, and this is no exception. Like the opener of the second side, “Austerity / Girl One” is a medley, albeit one of two pieces that are original compositions and not covers, as medleys usually are. This track’s story is both timeless and modern, a bit like a contemporary King Lear: the “Austerity” half deals with an aging father, incapable of understanding his children, dying alone and ignored, while the “Girl One” half puts us in the mindset of his daughter, a New Woman whose life is hectic, but also bleak. It’s a story that many of us will relate to, about people who try their best with what they’ve got, but still feel as though they’ve failed in life. Its simple, but effective musical backdrop of wan synth pulses allows the narrative, and Oakey’s evocative portrayal of it, to take center stage. That’s everything for today, thanks for listening.

Music: “Austerity / Girl One”

#music #great albums #album review #album reviews #human league #the human league

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gaylorlyrics · 4 years

Text

Folklore Songs - what are they about??

This is a developing thread, but I’ve been listening all day so I’m taking a stab at it.

1."The 1"

Common consensus is that this is about Dianna Agron and what they could have been. Telling lyrics are the general idea that the relationship wasn’t truly given a chance (”it would've been sweet, If it could've been me”) and “Roaring Twenties”, referring to the below circus themed party pics with Diana dressed like a flapper

tbh im not totally sold on this - most because it seems more recent with lyrics like, “In my defense, I have none for never leaving well enough alone” sounds like a reference to ME! and “Roaring twenties” sounds like a reference to something that happened this year (2020). Also “throwing pennies in the pool” could be a reference to throwing Penni (Karlie’s agent) in the pool. Finally, Route 1 is the road along California’s coast, where Tay & Karlie drove on their legendary road trip...this makes my lil Kaylor heart worry.

2. Cardigan

This is the first installment in the Teenage Trio, which also includes August and Betty, and is told from the perspective of Betty. It’s about feeling so loved by someone but then being betrayed by them (”Chase two girls [Betty + August’s narrator] lose one”). The line ”And you'd be standin' in my front porch light” foreshadows to James professing love in “Betty”. Potentially Taylor is Betty - but I’m still thinking about that theory.

3."The Last Great American Dynasty"

We <3 a Rhode Island throwback. Here Taylor tells the story of her house in Rhode Island that Rebekah “Betty” (??!?!??!! more on that later) Harkness used to live in. Rebekah married an heir to Standard Oil which made her one of the wealthiest women in the USA at the time. She was also known for making a scene (”She had a marvelous time ruining everything”). Additionally, she founded the Harkness Ballet (”And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet”). After Rebekah’s death Taylor purchased the house and it is now best known as the place of many epic 4th of July parties.

4. Exile

Such a sad song! This is a duet between Taylor and Bon Iver, telling the story of a failed relationship that they have tried to mend many many times. Interestingly, this is also about a love triangle (like the teenage trio) - "I can see you starin' honey/Like he's just your understudy." This line specifically feels like it could be about bearding, and seeing someone else with the person you love, but feeling like - or knowing - it’s fake. “You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out” references and end to the relationship Taylor discussed in False God “Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town I'm New York City”. To me this indicates that it is about Karlie and them breaking up or going through a rough patch - continually trying to fix things - and eventually being unsure that it could ever be repaired.

5."My Tears Ricochet"

This is pretty clearly about Scott & Scooter - “And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” and “You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same” seem to be a reference to them trying to exploit her work and how her leaving Big Machine really ruined the business - plus there’s some LWYMMD imagery. “You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me” also seems to be a clear reference for trying to use Taylor’s own work against her, taking the profits, and pushing her out of the deal. As if we needed more evidence “You hear my stolen lullabies” clearly references her stolen masters.

6."Mirrorball"

Big 80s prom vibes from this song. Mirrorball is about being famous and all of her work - her most personal thoughts and dreams - just becoming different ways for other people to see themselves once she releases her music into the world. Part of being an artist is knowing that your work will reflect more of who the viewer is than who you are yourself. Here she uses the metaphor of a disco ball to explore that idea, and worries that she is losing her own identity through it “I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me”. She also alludes to her fears that she will age out of relevancy “I know they said the end is near”, something she discussed in her documentary Miss Americana. Obviously this is internalized misogyny because we love Taylor and will listen to her music always and do not subscribe to the belief that women need to be young to be relevant because if they were a man then they'd be the man, and tay’s the man <3

7. “Seven”

Personally, this is one of my favorite songs on the album. It’s so sweet and pure and lovely. This is about young love, with imagery of summer, toys, and child’s dreams to runaway together. Many people have speculated that it is about the same girl that the two unreleased Taylor songs “Sweet Tea and Gods Graces” and “Me & Britney” are about.

[Side note: initially I wondered if Me & Britney was about Britany Maack, Taylor’s long time friend who recently got married, but the names are spelled differently. Also the line in Seven “I can’t recall your face” indicates that this is about someone who Taylor is not currently in touch with.]

Both M&B and STAAG seem to be about the Seven relationship because there are general parallels with outdoor scenery, childlike wonder, and ( in the case of STAGG) sweet tea. Also all three songs indicate a gay relationship: STAGG - “And you can love like a sinner and lose like a winner”, M&B - “That boy she went ran off with, well, I thought he was crazy. Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney”, and Seven - “You won't have to cry or hide in the closet And just like a folk song our love will be passed on”.

8. “August”

This is the second installment in the Teenage Trio, told from the perspective of the “other woman” who James meets while on summer vacation. The other woman (she doesn’t seem to have a name...unless it is August...which it could be? idk) is in love, but realizes that James isn’t in love with her - “Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you”. The line “Remember when I pulled up and said "Get in the car" references the same incident which is retold in Betty, but this time with James telling Betty it was just a summer fling that didn’t mean anything.

9. This Is Me Trying

Here we have a break up song, about Taylor trying to win her lover back and feeling completely lost without them, unable to concentrate or be around people, and turning to self sabotage. It’s about the general loneliness that one feels when they’ve lost someone they truly love, and the miscommunication that can happen in a relationship when you’re not understanding each other or receiving love in the same way (hence the song’s title). I think this could be about Karlie, it seems clear that their relationship has not been smooth and that they have had many on-and-off times. It could also be serving a purpose of building the Joe break up narrative, but only time will tell for that.

10. “Illicit Affairs”

Taylor loves her secret love - this song reads like a sad version of “I Know Places”. It seems clear that this is about Karlie Kloss. “Tell your friends you're out for a run” is one of my favorite lines because Karlie started Klossy run club, where you commit to running a certain distance in a month - and she posts about it on instagram CONSTANTLY. But overall, the song details a relationship of a woman being with someone she doesn’t love (kushnerd) and sneaking around to meet up with the person she does love (tay!). The line “Tell yourself you can always stop” is so sad to me, the idea that Karlie got into this and keeps telling herself that it will only be a little longer and she can leave when she wants, but staying in her fake marriage anyway.

11. Invisible String

This is pretty much the only pure love song on the album - about feeling connected to someone throughout your whole life, knowing that that somebody is out there, and then finally finding them. Taylor talks about being in Centennial Park in Nashville as a teen, and then eventually showing her lover around. The song is really self referential, with lots of easter eggs for her past work, including Bad Blood and Delicate. She also references Joe Jonas with the line “Cold was the steel of my axe to grind For the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents”.

Some people have pointed out that there is a similar idea presented in Jane Eyre - when the protagonist says to her love interest “I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you."

12."Mad Woman"

Another Scooter one - “It's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together”. “The master of spin” is word play referencing the masters records scandal. “Watching you climb over people like me” points out that agents and labels are making money off the performers they find and pushing them around. There’s also a reference to Scooter’s wife Yael and how he cheats all the time, but she doesn’t do anything likely because of her own internalized misogyny - “has a couple side flings. Good wives always know. She should be mad, should be scathing like me”.

13. “Epiphany”

The first verse of this touching ballad is about Taylor’s grandfather in WW2, storming the beaches at Normandy - “Crawling up the beaches now "Sir, I think he's bleeding out"”. The second verse is about a nurse helping patients with Covid-19 - “Holds your hand through plastic now "Doc, I think she's crashing out"”. The bridge here talks about wishing there was some great epiphany, some magical solution for the suffering in the world. The chorus refers to experiencing trauma with others and staying loyal even in the hardest times, even if it means literally dying. Although this seems like a departure from the themes of rest of the album, the whole album examines loyalty and considering what you would do for the people you love - so I really don’t think it’s a departure at all.

14. “Betty”

Obviously this is the gayest song on the album and an early fan favorite. It is the final song in the teenage trio, told from the point of view of James, going to win Betty back after betraying her and sleeping with someone else (August!?) over the summer. The line "Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?”, a line that is very clearly about wanting to kiss a woman, is especially striking (& gay!) when sung by Taylor. The clearest version of this plot is someone begging for forgiveness after betraying the person they love.

There is also a bit of a nod to a line in “Picture to Burn”, a break up song off Taylor’s first album. In PTB Taylor says “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy that's fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay”. This lyric has since been changed in versions available online, but on the original album that's what it was. This is interesting because she’s calling attention to knowing that someone is gay and hasn’t told their friends...which you would definitely know if you had dated them.

The names “James” and “Inez” are both mentioned in the song, which are the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynold’s daughters. James was already featured on a Taylor Swift album, as the lil baby voice at the beginning of “Gorgeous”. Worth noting that “James” is traditional a male name, but that this character is named after a female.

ALSO I have this theory I’m working on that Taylor is Betty and this whole album is in the same world with the same people, but WILL POST MORE ON THIS LATER.

15."Peace"

Ok - this is Archer 2.0 for me, about how she is worried about how no one will ever love her or stay with her because its too much work - “the rain is always gonna come if you're standin' with me” and “No, I could never give you peace” are pretty telling lines about her concerns that people will think it is not worth it to be friends with or in a relationship with her due to all of the baggage that comes with it.

The opening lines - “Our coming-of-age has come and gone Suddenly this summer, it's clear” feed into my emerging theory that all of these songs exist in the same universe and are about the same three characters...but I’m still figuring that one out. The line “And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches” reference Seven and Epiphany, respectively - further supporting that all of these songs are in the same world.

16. “Hoax”

Out of all of the songs that make my little Kaylor heart ache - this is the most heartbreaking. Specifically the line “My eclipsed sun” refers to Karlie, who Taylor has called “sunshine” on multiple occasions, and her light being covered up by her contract with Kushnerd and Scooter. The line “Don't want no other shade of blue But you” makes it clear that this song is in reference to the muse for the album “Lover” - aka Karlie.

However, this is a song about betrayal and completely trusting someone, only to find that they stabbed you in the back, as is clear by the line ”Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in”.

Additionally, the line“You knew it still hurts underneath my scars” seems to again feed into the idea that all of the songs on the album involve the same characters. This one is a bit more clear, it seems that - if this theory is correct - Betty is the narrator of this song, as she referenced her scars before “Drew stars around my scars” in Cardigan.

OK- I'm going to go deep into song by song later, but I just wanted to get something out there!!! Also def interested in hearing what everyone else thinks!

EDIT: I just found some lyrics from The Lakes in an article from Billboard. I wanted to add them in even though we don’t have the full song because I felt like we really ended on a sad note with hoax and then when I saw these I was like there is hope!!

SO the lyric Billboard included in their review was “A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground / With no one around to tweet it” which is a continuation from the line from “Hoax” - “ This has frozen my ground”. What I’m taking from this is that in the final song Taylor finds hope <3

#folklore #kaylor #Taylor swift #Karlie kloss #betty

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today-only-happens-once · 4 years

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Boy Band AU is Romantic LAMP (eventually)

Or, I was thinking about the boy band au and was like, y’know what? Could be gayer.

warnings: cursing, kissing, some miscommunication and angst, mentions of/fear of resentment and divorce, running away from problems as an anxiety response, getting together, happy endgame romantic lamp stuff tho

This got so long I’m so sorry, y’all. It started as just “listing fun facts about it” and evolved into a bulletfic. Woops.

It doesn’t happen right away. In fact, it’s... a very long, slow process for them all getting together. Years down the road, actually.

They all have moments of Gay Panic when it comes to the others throughout those years, but... especially at first, none of them are really feel like they’re in a good place to enter any kind of committed romantic relationship.

And since those feelings don’t really develop strongly and complexly until later on in their lives, they fortunately already know about polyam people--though at first, none of them know that the others are also that way.

So there’s several years of sort of figuring themselves out and learning about one another in a tight-knit-friendship kind of way, and then a few more years of romantic pining and uncertainty before they figure it out haha

It’s seven years into their band career that Grandma Foster places a bet against Remy on who confesses first. Grandma Foster’s money is on Roman. Remy’s money is on Patton.

It’s ten years from meeting each other, within the month, that the ice finally breaks. And when it does, they’re both wrong. Logan confesses first.

though the confession happens within, like, minutes of each other. Because well--

Logan had started acting weird. And weird like, distant? And it was bothering all of them, but any time one of them tried to talk to him about it, Logan just pretended like he didn’t understand where they were getting that from.

And eventually, they all corner him (figuratively, but kind of literally too because Logan is chilling on the couch when they talk to him) and Virgil is like “cut the bullshit, Logan”

And it’s a long, messy conversation between all of them. Because turns out, Logan does cut the bullshit, and confesses to feeling attracted to all three of them, and he doesn’t want to make them uncomfortable and he definitely doesn’t want to lose them. and if they don’t like him back, that’s fine, honestly, he’s sure the feelings will fade (which Logan thinks might be a lie, he’s not sure, but... the alternative is losing them, and Logan doesn’t think he could handle that)

Roman confesses next. It’s like opening the floodgates of his feelings and he waxes poetic about all of them but he says it so earnestly, how he’s known he’s loved them all for years, and think he’s loved them all for a lot longer than even he realizes--

Patton is next. How Logan couldn’t possibly get rid of him that easily, not when he loves them all too and yes, yes in that way, hadn’t it been obvious?

Virgil, though... Virgil freezes.

Because yes, yes of course he has these feelings for them all. But suddenly it feels like everything is changing, all at once, and Virgil knows he should feel relieved and happy because they feel the same way about him that he feels about them but all he actually feels is fear. Because Virgil doesn’t do well with Big Sudden Change and this feels like a Very Big and Very Sudden Change.

On top of that, in the back of his mind, is Virgil’s parents and how they used to talk about how in love they were with each other once upon a time and somehow, along the way, that dissolved into fighting and arguments and divorce and resentment--

So Virgil bolts. Not quite literally, but close to it. He stammers out a “I-I need some air” and grabs his keys and wallet and leaves and tries not to feel the weight of their gazes on his back. He pretends he doesn’t hear Roman say his name when he closes the door behind him.

Virgil drives. He doesn’t really know where he’s going, he’s just going. By the time he’s done, he’s at the coast. He leaves his shoes and socks in the car, trying to ignore the churning in his stomach. He does have enough wherewithal to text the other boys a quick message ( “sorry. went to the coast. just need to think”) and tosses his phone in the backseat before the sense of guilt crushes him completely.

He walks to the shoreline. The sun is setting at this point and the feeling of the sand under his feet and between his toes, plus the cool waves lapping at his ankles, helps ground him enough that his breathing doesn’t feel quite so tight anymore.

He’s not sure how long he’s standing there, looking out at the horizon line, but he figures it must be a couple hours because he hears footsteps stepping up behind him and when he looks over his shoulder (expecting maybe Patton or Logan or Roman or all three), he’s surprised to find it’s Remy.

It’s almost 8 in the evening, so Virgil arcs an eyebrow at the iced coffee in his hands, but says nothing about. Remy stands beside him, also without shoes/socks, and stares out at the horizon line with him for a long moment before he says anything.

when he does, all remy says is, “wanna talk about it?”

Virgil just shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “how much do you know?”

A sip of coffee. “Not much. They’re worried. Wanted me to check up on you. Logan said something about ‘respecting your need for space’ but Roman said something about ‘walking into the ocean’. He was hard to hear in the background.”

Despite himself, Virgil snorts and glances down at the water lapping at his ankles. “Only a few feet.”

Remy’s mouth quirks. “So. Do you wanna talk about it, babe, or should I just tell the boys that you’re all right and you’ll go back when you’re ready?”

And Virgil takes a deep breath that shakes a lot on the exhale, and finds himself explaining everything. About how he feels about them, how they said they feel about him, about his parents, about how everything changes and he just wasn’t ready for it and he as much as the love is present he’s afraid--he’s so afraid--that will change down the road.

And Remy just stands there and listens. When Virgil sits down, still talking, Remy stays standing for a moment before sitting beside him. Virgil talks until the sky is mostly dark.

When he’s done, there’s a long stretch of silence. And then all Remy asks is “have you told this--any of it--to them?”

Which, no. He hasn’t.

“Why?”

Virgil isn’t sure. At first, it had just been sudden and overwhelming and he needed a break from the suddenness of it all, so he left. It wasn’t until the drive and staring out into the ocean getting his breathing under control that Virgil was able to sift through the minefield of his fears and thoughts.

Remy sighs, taking his sunglasses off now that the sky was practically nightfall--only the faintest traces of dusk still kiss the horizon line--and watches the waves roll in. “Free advice is worth what you pay for,” he begins.

“That’s what Gram always says.”

“Yeah, well. She’s a smart lady.” He takes another sip of mostly-melted iced coffee. “Look, Virgil. Are you your parents? Or, for that matter, are Roman, Logan, and Patton your parents?”

“No. Thank God.”

Remy gives him a pointed look.

“Oh.”

Remy shrugs. “Look, your relationship to those boys is whatever you want it to be. I’ve known you all for the past ten years, and I’ve been watching the way you four care for and about one another evolve. It’s become an ingrained part of who you all are as a unit. I don’t think that’s liable to change, romantic relationship or not.”

“But--”

“And,” Remy adds pointedly, “if you want a relationship with them, and you don’t go for it because you’re afraid it will end badly... well. It sounds like you’re ending it before it’s even given a chance.”

And, well, Virgil finds that maybe Remy has a point. The two of them sit together a bit longer, and Virgil is pretty sure it’s just Remy’s way of making absolutely sure Virgil is really, actually okay, before he gets up and leaves.

Virgil leaves only a minute or so after Remy does. He jumps in his car, checks his phone (and tries not to wince at the missed calls from all three of them) and sees a text from Logan sent through the group text that signals to Virgil it’s probably a message from all three of them.

It’s relatively long--unusual for Logan texts--apologizing if they overwhelmed him, a heads up that they’ve sent Remy to check on him and they understand if he wants space, reassurance that he doesn’t have to be part of their romantic relationship if he doesn’t want to and that nothing has to change (that note about change is repeated a couple of times in the paragraph of text and Virgil is reminded of how well the boys know him at this point) for Virgil if he doesn’t want it to.

Virgil feels a little bad but he’d really rather have this conversation face-to-face (er... really, his anxiety would rather do it over text, but he feels like he owes it to the other three to talk about it in-person) so he just texts back “on my way back”.

When he gets back, they’re all still awake. Patton is in his cat onesie, Roman in PJs (with his head in Patton’s lap, and if that doesn’t make Virgil’s chest warm with unexpected affection), and Logan still wearing what he had been when Virgil left, pacing in front of the TV.

They all look up and freeze when Virgil steps through the door and Virgil closes it behind him, kind rubbing the back of his neck and is like “guys... I’m sorry for freaking out--”

which Logan immediately jumps in with “it’s completely understandable. A lot was happening in that conversation, a lot of things probably percieved to be changing--”

“I still shouldn’t have left,” Virgil says firmly. “That was unfair to you all. I was... It was a lot, yeah, but... I should have explained more before leaving. But... I... I can explain now, if you all... have a moment?”

They all nod, and so Virgil stammers through his conversation with Remy, if slightly more coherent this time because he’d already spilled it all from his mind once today. And he ends with what Remy had said before he left, about how none of them are his parents, and while he’s still worried and afraid of what kind of end they could all conceivably reach, it’s also not fair to not give the four of them a chance.

So... that’s how they all become official! Also, Logan kisses Virgil first.

Boy Band AU Taglist: @virgil-is-the-moodiest-mood, @withspaces, @iampengwing, @thecatchat, @northern-borealis, @panicatthebiggestpartyofthefall, @trans-demon-king, @sapph-writes-sanders, @flamingfawkes, @andreaissy, @legalitiesiwthabiscuit, @h-m-t-w-n, @i-didnt-say-liar-i-said-lawyer, @hazbin-hotel-has-my-soul, @nerdleafeon, @wynniwirt, @creativenostalgiastuff

#boy band au #romantic lamp #polyamsanders #angst #kissing

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djemsostylist · 3 years

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It's been a few days and I've read a lot of takes and had a lot of long talks with @lolo-deli and I'm firm on where I stood Thursday. People who are pro this new season have been busy with PR, and I've seen the same points over an over. 1. We don't know why they broke up, we don't know what they both did, 2. we can't blame Eda, 3. we will get to see them fall in love again, 4. we will see Serkan with a second pregnancy, and perhaps the key, 5. we needed a reset. Oh, and 6. their daughter will bring them back together. Last season was a mess and we needed a blank slate. I'd like to address these points, if for no other reason than it will make me feel better.

You are correct. We don't know why they broke up. The most popular theory seems to be "Serkan pushed her away", which I think is both because it can make Eda "not the bad guy" and also because he has done it before. I'm not going to belabor the point, but we have spent the rest of the series since then showing a Serkan who learned from that mistake has been willing to anything to be with her. I know amnesia Serkan was a mess--but he also had fucking amnesia. And once he was back, we got back our soft boy who wanted nothing more than to be with her. If they have him push her away, it's for plot reasons, not character ones. So maybe Eda reaches a breaking point. Okay, over what? Him not telling her about the tumor? That's her last straw? She endured everything else, but him delaying telling her about the tumor is the last straw? Does she leave him while he's dying? In treatment? Sees him through and leaves him after? I think no matter how you look at it, for them to break up after all they have been through makes no sense to me. Why would they? As I said in a previous post, what could worse than what they have already endured? In any case, either of them leaving the other, again, means I'm forced to wonder why we would ever want them BACK together. If something happens to break them up for 5 years, then obviously it's not meant to be. If they can't figure out a way to make it work after all they have been through, what would five years of bitterness and stewing do to make either of them ready for a relationship together? (And the teaser makes it pretty clear they *are* bitter.) Instead of seeing a counselor, trying to work through their communication and trust issues, if their choice is always "run and dump" and they've learned nothing in 39 episodes, then what is the point anymore? This is not a second chance romance. This is a toxic relationship I no have an investment in.

We can't blame Eda. Look, I get no one wants to hate Eda. I don't want to hate Eda. My girl has been through hell and back, and she's endured a lot for love of this man. I'd have supported her leaving in 15. I'd have supported her deciding not to trust him in 20. I'd have even supported her leaving towards the end of his amnesia, if she thinks there is no hope. But I'd argue the fact that she stayed, that she worked through her issues with him after 15 and chose to be with him means she knows what she's getting into. She knows who he is at his core, and if he was worth all the pain she went through in the 30s then yes, we very much CAN blame Eda. Even if Serkan broke up with her, pushed her away, I very much can and do blame her for keeping his child. I've seen people say there was a miscommunication, that she tried to tell him and he wouldn't listen, maybe he says he doesn't want kids. I'd argue that if he did, it was because he was dying, otherwise why a sudden 180 from Serkan-I-Want-To-Build-A-Library-For-Our-Children Bolat to "no kids?". Which she should find weird and also realize the cause. Again, it would be for plot reason only. Regardless of what happened between them, the second there is a child involved, to quote @lolo-deli you put on your big girl pants and learn to fucking communicate. Even they aren't together, doesn't mean they can't raise a child together. Unless he's a drug lord or a mafia boss or a serial killer, together or not, he deserved to know about his daughter. He deserved the chance to be in her life from the minute Eda knew. Period. I'm not going to cry for Eda's pain of raising her daughter alone in Italy when she literally could have just told him, and you know he would have moved the moon to make sure his daughter felt safe and loved. At least, the Serkan I know. And the Eda I know would not have let him push her away without letting him know about a baby. Not a girl who knows firsthand what it's like to grow up without a father. So I'm sorry, but if we were hating Serkan for being asshole when he had amnesia and we were hating Aydan for keeping secrets...then I'm hating Eda for keeping a child and a father apart. I'm tired of the "all men are trash and boss queen" all or nothing mentality. I really, truly am.

Look, at no point do I want to have to watch Serkan Bolat fall in love with Eda (again) or his daughter. I've already seen him and Eda do that before, I spent 39 fucking episodes on that. And having to watch Serkan fall in love with his daughter because he didn't get to know her from birth is about the most depressing, least romantic, and most heart wrenching thing I could possibly imagine. This isn't a baby, like so many people keep saying. It's a child. A whole entire formed person and Serkan doesn't know her. Because Eda kept a secret. I hate it.

And it doesn't matter if he gets to see the second pregnancy, bc he still missed the first, and every single thing will be a reminder of that. And I don't know how Serkan, who has always felt unworthy (and justified or not is what led to most of the problems in their early relationship) gets over the fact that Eda thought so little of him that she would rather have her daughter grow up without a father than attempt to get in contact with him and let him have a role in her life. I just don't. That's soul crushing. "Am I such a horrible person that you didn't even want her to know me?" As much as I don't want Eda to suffer anymore, I also don't want Serkan to either. Maybe that makes me an antifeminist. Sue me.

Look, last season was a fucking mess. No one is denying that. Part of it is on the writers, part of it is on the producer who kept hiring and firing writers, part of it is on the fact this show should have ended 20 episodes ago. And I hated the 30s, have no desire to watch them again. But the thing is, you can't ignore the episodes that have been written. As much as we want to. Things happened--and that includes character growth, promises made, words said. You can't just do a reset. And I'd argue that breaking up a couple that said they would do everything in their power to make each other happy, who got rings tattooed on their hands as a sign of never, ever being a part again, wouldn't just break up and not see each other for five years. At some point, it becomes toxic. Lack of communication, selfishness, immaturity, stubbornness--do we even want these people together if something was so awful they separated for 5 years and Eda kept a whole baby a secret? Five years is a long to be apart and not once thing about making amends until they are forced into it. What is the point of that reset?

I hate this. So, what, if Eda hadn't randomly brought their child to an awards ceremony and the girl hadn't happened to see Serkan, then they never would have attempted to get back together? It's not like they couldn't get in contact with each other. How is the fact that without their kid (which Serkan didn't even know existed) they would never have reconciled a cute plot?

Let's not argue that this isn't anything other than it is--a ploy to bring in new fans and/or try and get old fans back on the part of the producer. If someone can explain like I'm 5 how this plot is good, I'll listen. But to quote a tweet I saw, you can't use the words angst, pain, suffering, or heartache, because those are not good reasons. You also can't say "but last season" bc I know. I was there. Last season sucked. I get it. It's not a reason to not even attempt a happy ending.

For now, I'll leave it at this. If your kind of love story is two people who have learned nothing, who only know how to fight and hurt each other and break up and think nothing of using a child as a pawn, than I'm happy for you. This season sounds great. But you can't convince me this was necessary, you can't convince me this was "always the plan", you can't convince me this will be anything other than pain, heartbreak, and a way to try and milk SCK for all it's worth before they are forced to cancel or Hanker finally says "we're done."

#sen çal kapımı #sck #I'm never not going to be a bitter potato #over the wasted potential of this show #two of the hottest stars #the best fucking onscreen chemistry i have ever seen #and the possibility to subvert all the tropes of cyclical breakups and actually write two people in love and happy #and you chose this horseshit #all the fake symbolism and little prince sayings in the world aren't gonna fix this fucking mess #ayse can keep her fucking symbols #give me back my edser #i hated 37 for the performative fakeness #and ill hate this too

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loftec · 3 years

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what do u think about the new episode? because i personally fucking hate it :) i hate shameless, the only thing i care about right now is fic 😔

Same, my friend. I have been thinking about what to say or not to say about this for over a week and every time I've sat down to just type something out, I haven't been able to articulate anything. But I have so much to say, so I will try.

Now, if you (reading this, right now) are one of the lucky peeps who like this season and what it's got going for Ian and Mickey, so far... then maybe skip this rant. I honestly don't want to drag you down with my criticism. It's so ok to peacefully enjoy something without having to listen to people being crabby about the thing you love. Pax vobiscum.

That said.

(Crabby rant under cut.)

But if you're like me, kinda hurt and let down for the very last time, please stay a while. I'll tell you why I'm like this, and why I'm no longer angry, just disappointed.

Here's the thing, the first episode wasn’t any fun for me, but I quite enjoyed the second! It was the kind of low-stakes close-knit family stuff I want from a Shameless episode. Literally all they have to do to keep me happy is cram a bunch of Gallaghers into a kitchen and let them talk to each other for five minutes. I'm very easy to please. I like Sandy, I like what she does for Debbie's character. I like Tami, I like that Lip seems a lot happier. I like Liam, someone please take care of the boy. I like that Carl has a goal, and that he's all grown up. I like that Ian and Mickey are married and that they're a part of this family again. It’s a nice vibe, we’re having a party for Franny and it’s not perfect, but we learned something and we’re having fun. It’s fine.

On the whole, it’s nice. But for someone whose main priority is Ian and his significant other, it’s the same old bullshit all over again.

In seasons 1-5, I'm pretty sure Ian and Mickey only had like three conversations with each other that weren't plot relevant. But it was fine, it's en ensemble cast and Fiona, Lip and Frank got most of the A plots. Ian and Mickey had a lot of serious stuff going on, so the 5 minutes they got to do something each week had to be used dealing with all the shit they had to deal with. It's fine. This is fine. It's fine. I understand how TV works. We cut in on them in the middle of a conversation about Jean-Claude Van Damme, and I understand that they've spent the whole evening together and that they've talked about other things as well. Silly, inconsequential things, things people talk about when they like each other and want to be close and get to know each other. And when we're dropped in the middle of Ian, Mickey and Svetlana playing house in 5x1, I understand that it has been a period of time since we saw them last, and that things have changed. That they have talked about some things, and not talked about some things. And I happily played along and filled in all the gaps, I did the work; I imagined them together on a good day, on a calm evening lounging on the couch, on a lazy morning sleeping in. Quiet breakfasts, lively dinners. I imagined what they would say to each other, what they would talk about and what they still couldn't talk about. I did the work because it felt like it was worth it, because I knew that the story they were focusing on (Ian's illness and Mickey coming into his own) were worth it. That they needed every second they could get to tell the story of a mentally ill teenager and his abuse survivor boyfriend learning to love and support each other, and get better and grow up on their own terms.

I, the fool, kept thinking that one day. One day it would get better and they would get a break and the show would give them a minute, just a minute here and there, to be happy. Have a conversation that we could get in on. Have one good day for us to witness, and not just imagine.

Instead they broke them up for production reasons, for behind the scenes bullshit, for no reason at all, other than the simple fact that the show runners have never once cared about Ian and Mickey as much as we have. As much as Cam and Noel have. They had no qualms about rewriting a whole season's arc to make no sense in the last minute. They had no issues with throwing a beloved character in prison and leaving him there for a season and a half (which could have been good storytelling... if not every single Gallagher to ever get locked up had some lucky thing happen to spring them out again way before they’ve done their time). They had no problem with letting Ian say and do one thing one minute and then the exact opposite the next.

I think the thing that truly made me give up on the show at that time was the tattoo. We had such precious few things to work from when trying to understand these characters and we did our very best. We took the crumbs and we built a whole castle of cake. And one of the cornerstones, one of the first fucking things we ever knew about Mickey Milkovich, was that he could spell the name "Ian Gallagher". And if they wanted to give him a bad tattoo, they still could have. Maybe he did it himself and got it wrong because of the angle. Maybe there was a miscommunication and whoever did it on him got the name wrong. But no, they had to have him sit there and claim that he didn't know how to spell his boyfriend's name. It was so petty, so mean-spirited, such a massive fuck-you to anyone who dared to care and retain the things they'd previously told us about Mickey, I just had to stop caring about canon. I drew a line for myself around the canon I could understand as emotionally consistent, and ignored anything that landed on the other side of it. Perhaps not the best way to watch a TV show, but then I also stopped watching the show. So it worked out.

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be about the first five seasons. But I'm obviously still bitter, and I wanted to explain why I'm well past the point of chasing after crumbs. Because it’s still the same bullshit, only now they’ve exchanged important, nuanced storylines about coming out and getting better for... I don’t know. Talking about sex and arguing about money.

Here is an incomplete list of loftec’s crumbs of disappointment, so far:

Ian and Mickey have been married for 6 (?) months, and the writers will have you believe they still have not had a conversation.

Ian is still relegated to C-plots (only now he's sometimes allowed in the background of an A plot, which is fun I guess but still not near what he deserves after all these years).

Meanwhile, Lip got two separate extended scenes detailing how he tricks his girlfriend into spending less money, in the first episode. That’s so much airtime spent on one point. In the second episode, he had a casual conversation with his baby! Ian and Mickey haven't had a casual conversation about anything since fucking never!

Ian and Mickey have talked about sex and money, so far. Nothing else. Important things, I'm sure. But let's compare this with Lip in the same episode. Lip and Tami wake up together, they get to be sweet to each other, talk about their lives and daily routine, they have a chat about coffee and someone they know who is having a hard time, then they get into the subject of their conflict du jour. Ian and Mickey get a weird allusion to how much sex they're having (so much sex you guys, just believe and it will come true!) and then they're arguing about jobs and money. For two whole episodes. Except that one time where they got derailed and accidentally talked about monogamy instead.

Monogamy. Something they haven’t talked about before. And apparently a word Mickey doesn’t understand, or know how to spell.

And it still feels so petty, because it's just. So specific. They could have chosen any of the magnificent character traits of Mickey's that they teased us with in the first five seasons, and this is the thing they pick? And then turn into a main character trait?? Mickey can't spell. Mickey doesn't understand words. Haha ha. And I'm not purposefully misunderstanding this scene, I promise. I understand what they were trying to do. I most certainly understand what Noel acted his ass off to convey. I am not here freaking out about Mickey wanting to be with other people, or Ian saying this or doing that. I'm not worried about them cheating or getting a divorce. I'm just really disappointed that this is where we are now.

That Mickey, who we all saw through and understood to be smart and loyal, quick on his feet and quippy as anything, has been reduced to this. I'm pretty sure he's had his hand down his pants in half the scenes he's been in so far. I don't know what that means, but it's like... a choice. And I don't like this choice. They could have had an insecure conversation about monogamy and money and we could have gone on this journey with them as they struggle with their inability to communicate and I would have been all for it, if it had been written with something more, anything else, something to break through the plump humor and crass approach to this marriage that Ian spent half of the last season trying to have a conversation about! But never got to, because the writers thought it would be funnier to have Mickey punch Ian in the face and run off with some guy, rather than talk to him!

Also, I know this is getting outrageously long, but the fighting. The fighting is another thing. Who here watched that scene in 3x9 where Ian tries to get Mickey to be honest with him and Mickey kicks him in the face rather than admit he's gay, and thought, hey! Guys being guys, am I right? Who here watched that scene in 5x10 when Ian punched Mickey in the face because he didn't know how to accept care from someone who loves him and wanted to feel a feeling, and thought; oh yes, this is just how they communicate! This is fine! I know I didn't. But sure, why not. It's a choice, I guess. They're just manly men, and manly men fight with their significant others. They beat the shit out of each other, no problem. This is not something we need to have a conversation about, not at all.

This is about writing. They easily could have written Ian and Mickey’s scenes differently. They could have had incidental bits of conversation, hinting at their lives outside of this conflict they’re having. They could have been in the background of someone else’s scene, just a quick gesture of something nice that would help flesh out the bits in between. They could have conversations and storylines about pretty much anything, and still bring up the question of monogamy and Mickey’s residual insecurities about Ian’s past infidelity. They could have been subtle about it, instead of writing a clown scene where Mickey acts like a clown and Ian doesn’t remember that he’s done a lot of shit in their past that they maybe need to talk about. Because they still haven’t talked about it? NOT ONCE? THEY WERE IN THE SAME CELL FOR MONTHS! AND NOT A SINGLE CONVERSATION WAS HAD. THIS IS FINE. I’M FINE.

I get it. This is supposed to be a fun show about whacky characters. It's supposed to be outrageous, the show runners and writers are choosing these things to get a reaction. I get it, and I don't like it and if you think this means that I should stop watching the show and shut up, then I agree with you.

But also, I love these characters and this community, and I want to like this season. Our last season. I want to watch it and still hope that Ian and Mickey will get to have a conversation about nothing special, just because they like each other, before it's over.

And if not, there is always fic. And you know I will be making them talk to each other in NTW until there are no words left.

#I want you to read this rant in hbomberguy's voice #please and thank you #would you believe me if I said this is the short version?#oh wow #i just scrolled up and realised how long this got #i'm sorry #don't read this #it's terribly silly and I should go to bed #Anonymous

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ineffably-effable · 5 years

Text

good omens fic recommendations

If you’re looking for coherent reviews you’ll be disappointed, but if you want a list of quality recommendations - with excerpts & some vague ramblings as to what the reader should be in the mood for - enjoy!

29 recommendations underneath the cut.

(17k) Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture

Crowley and Aziraphale learn to move in tandem.

Mood: beautiful slow burn, misunderstandings, heartache that would be solved if someone taught these besotted idiots to communicate.

Paradox: Crowley has never risen from his seat and gone to stand behind someone at a counter, never put his arms around their middle and pulled them tight against him. Has never apologized with a touch, with a closeness, with the thin line of his body. So why does it occur to him that he might do that now? Might press up against Aziraphale from behind and rest his forehead on Aziraphale’s nape and ask silently to be forgiven. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world when he knows, intimately knows that it’s not.

(51k) how deep the sand by Handful_of_Silence

After the Apocalypse, and with characteristic slowness, both Crowley and Aziraphale think there might be something they need to sit down and talk about.

And then Aziraphale disappears.

Mood: tragic twist of fate, separation, hurt/comfort, guilt & devotion.

He thinks about the picnic they’d have had. He’d have pulled the top down from the Bentley and let the wind tussle his hair, the weather of a glorious August now gone warming his skin. They would have chatted, sitting carefully on a tartan blanket, and they’d have made their own plans.

They might have even found the right time to talk properly. Honestly. About everything that’s been, about the possibilities that could be now that everything’s different.

About maybe not going back to London. Going back to their Jobs.

About leaving it all behind, together.

The words Crowley didn’t say are clogging up his throat.

(14k) Made Flesh by rfsmiley / @redfacesmiley

AU in which Crowley is two entities, and Aziraphale isn’t sure how he feels about either of them.

Mood: oblivious idiots, daemon!fic-if-you-squint, pining & tamed desire.

Eleven years pass, attended by another marked change; the creature cannot bear to be out of the same room as Aziraphale. The angel, isolated and frayed as he is by the fear of the coming war, has no problems with this development – he needs the company – although sometimes he looks into the yellow eyes and feels the spear of a nameless sorrow. If it comes to it, Heaven will win, of course; the certainty, however, is bitter. He tries not to think about what will happen to Crowley, or to this small being that runs at his heels as he moves, gripped by a contagious agitation.

(8k) Ad Astra by drawlight / @drawlight

Some things can only be said in the dark.

Mood: beautiful prose, longing, ruthless inner-voices & insecurities.

Aziraphale swallows. His eyes hold Crowley’s. Crowley stands very still, wretched. Terrified. Watching Aziraphale’s very wide eyes, the open of the mouth. There is a softness in Aziraphale’s look, in the swallow of his throat. It could be? (It might not be.) He wants to scream it; he wants to say nothing at all. Let me stay in this bit of maybe. Maybe is not no, maybe means perhaps, someday. Maybe means you might feel the same. (You might not.)

(13.3k) Alegría by drawlight / @drawlight

After the End That Wasn’t, Heaven and Hell are leaving them alone. Entirely alone. (This is a story with nothing of miracles.)

Mood: beautiful prose, longing, ruthless inner-voices & insecurities + domesticity

(Yes, I know the mood is almost the same as above, but honestly this is @drawlight, what were you expecting? Read it if you want a Crowley that will absolutely wreck you & leave you heart-broken.)

Aziraphale is a touch-strong man. He touches everything (Crowley knows, he always watches). Aziraphale loves and he likes to love through his skin. His fingers on a particularly fine leather binding, dipping into the embossed author, the tooled name of the title. His hands breaking apart a loaf of Italian sourdough, fingers coming away with residual flour. Dipping his hands into sacks of grain, rubbing a fine weave of silk through. He touches Crowley too, in his usual and gentle way. The touch on the arm to still Crowley’s whiplash self, to make a point during an argument. Aziraphale who thinks nothing of oh, my dear, you’ve got an eyelash just there, let me get it for you. Crowley has a good memory. He catalogs them all, cross-examines them. Six-thousand years of maybes and what-ifs and what was thats ? But Aziraphale is just as easy with his touches on glass bottles while pulling out his favorite vintages. He touches his favorite fountain pen far more often than he reaches for Crowley. No, in context, it means nothing. It’s just Aziraphale as usual. Don’t look too closely, it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.

(13k) small infinities and all that by JustStandingHere / @billypotts

Crowley and Aziraphale are turned human. This is the aftermath.

Mood: slow burn, domesticity, best friends falling in love & all the beautiful awkwardness that entails.

And there it is, isn’t it? Something they’ve known for a long time, but haven’t named it. Have been too scared to name it. Something that speaks in their bones, in the space between them.

(12k) the deft, sweet gesture of your hand by deadgreeks / @mortuarybees

Crowley arrives injured at Aziraphale’s door. He takes care of him, reads him an awful lot of Mary Oliver, and knits elaborate metaphors for his insecurities (literally).

Mood: beautiful writing, mixed signals, feeling unworthy of the millenia-long object of your affections, unable to create gifts that are good enough for the people you love and being in love with a complete idiot.

Aziraphale has tended to the sick and injured during periods of plague and war many times throughout his long life, and he tries to adopt the same kind-but-impersonal detachment as he carefully washes Crowley. It is slightly harder, Crowley being the sole object of six thousand years of repressed desire, but he’s also Aziraphale’s closest friend, and a person besides, so he does him the courtesy of not ogling his bare legs or torso as he goes.

(9.3k) Slow by write_away / @theirdarkreturning

Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves somehow married. Crowley fears going too fast. Aziraphale forges ahead. Neither know how to ask questions of each other.

Mood: Miscommunication, with a hefty side order of pining and the urge to yell at your screen in the vain hopes of getting through to these two idiots.

For Crowley - that was the demon’s name, and it’s best to memorize it quickly, before he changes it yet again - knew that the angel would love him if he just asked, and Aziraphale - the angel, though there’s no rush with him, there never really is - knew that the demon would take him in with open arms if he just asked. It’s just that neither of them were good at asking things of one another.

(14.7) Lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix, wishwellingtons

Crowley loves taking Aziraphale out to eat almost as much as Aziraphale loves eating, but it’s always a bit of a one-sided affair. Aziraphale has never understood why. Crowley planned on keeping it that way, but best laid plans…

Mood: wonderful footnotes, pining, creating a shrine to the object of your longing and then submitting to the mortifying ordeal of them finding it.

The thing about Aziraphale is quite simply this: Crowley can never have enough of him. God, Satan, everyone knows he’s tried. Crowley has spent centuries glutting himself on the sight of him only to be empty again days later, wondering whether it’s too soon to show his face in the bookshop. Aziraphale drifts from brasserie to bar in his quest to indulge in the best of human culinary expertise; Crowley follows after, because he knows Aziraphale will be there. It isn’t enough, but it’s something, and the only thing Crowley can ever expect.

(14.2k) all i need, darling, is a life in your shape by deadgreeks / @mortuarybees

After everything, Aziraphale and Crowley, by unspoken agreement, begin sharing their lives.

Mood: domesticity with pining, chosen family, acts of love, boyfriend sweaters & idiots in love.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes indulgently, passing out the rest of the gifts and sneaking little glances at Crowley as he struggled with the box. He’d worked so hard on it, searched all the best yarn shops in London for the perfect skeins. He even had to sit on hold for hours with the manufacturer of the yarn he chose because he needed another skein from the same dye-lot, knowing that Crowley would want only the best, and he’d notice even a minor inconsistency in the coloring.

(27k) Long Is The Way, And Hard by Kate_Lear

A story of Crowley’s thoughts about Aziraphale, from the Beginning to the present day.

And also of temptation, and want, and whether - for a Fallen Angel - redemption is possible after all.

Mood: slow burn, denial, temptation, jealousy, lust to love, character growth.

Aziraphale hasn’t shared his bed with anyone. He can’t have done, because if he has then Crowley is going to hunt down that mortal – in this world or the next – and enact something creatively and comprehensively bloody upon them. Possibly involving methods from the Spanish Inquisition, that have scabbed over in Crowley’s memory and that he shies away from picking at.

(25.7k) your weekend lover by witching

Mood: miscommunication, mutual pining, ineffable idiots who are on the same page but reading a different damn book

It was purely physical, they had agreed on that from the beginning. Aziraphale couldn’t quite remember why he had agreed to that, but he suspected it had something to do with not ruining their friendship, or some such nonsense. At any rate, that was the deal. The new Arrangement. Purely physical.

(16k) I’ve Got You To Help Me Forgive by Kate Andrews (k8andrewz)

Pt1: Crowley deals, more or less, with the Fall. Also, Crowley has feelings. The angel doesn’t help with that. Also, sunny rocks are very nice.

Pt2: In which tea is made, a story is shared, and a leap of faith is taken.

Mood: Lust, first times, innocence, ineffable sex, memory wipes, Aziraphale showing initiative and being a bit of a bastard, overwhelmed Crowley, Gabriel is a total dick. Fair warning this isn’t PWP, it has loads of plot and feelings too and fantastic characterizations.

The air in Crowley’s lungs took leave of him all at once. Memories he hadn’t given a good look at in ages resurfaced. Memories he’d quite ably buried, thank you very much and he sat up abruptly, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees. He set his sunglasses on the table, then pressed his face into his palms and gave it a good scrub. After a sidelong glance at Aziraphale who sat there patiently watching him, he asked, “What am I supposed to do with a question like that, hmm?”

(13.9k) The Lightness of You by Rend_Herring

God should not have built them with such discrepancy, made them need for love, and long for wholeness, then left them to their own devices.

Mood: When you want to mix up your pining & angst with a bit of humour, sex and a praise kink.

The jasmine vine actually tries brushing up against Aziraphale’s cheek and he blushes, says, “Oh, you,” all indulgent and sweet-like. It leaves a fragrant white blossom behind his ear.

“Thank you,” Aziraphale says sincerely, and Crowley glares openly at the traitors. “That’s very kind of you.” His smile really is a beacon of otherworldly radiance. An orchid blooms on the spot, the epiphyte whore.

(7.2k) summer and his pleasures by witching

absence makes the heart grow fonder, and crowley and aziraphale’s hearts were plenty fond to begin with. a story told through phone calls while they are separated for work-related reasons.

Mood: drunk dialing and dirty talk, idiots in love

Something clicked in Aziraphale’s mind, and he held back a curse word threatening on his tongue. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, he found himself just in that sweet spot of intoxication where he was cognizant enough to recognize that he was doing something he absolutely shouldn’t do, but not quite enough to stop himself. “I would, you know,” he said, full of newfound confidence. “I’d – if you were here, I’d make it… very much worth your while.”

(3.6k) Birds of a Feather by idiopathicsmile

Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals.

Mood: Jealousy, lashing out, withdrawal, oblivious idiots slowly learning how to use their words.

Is Crowley jealous of a musty old flat above a used book store? In the millennia he’s spent slowly twisting his own heart around Aziraphale’s little finger, it’s not the weirdest thing he’s been jealous of, to be honest.

(11k) A Touch Like Sunlight by goodomensblog / @goodomensblog / @just-quintessentially-me

When Aziraphale is threatened by angels who seek justice for Aziraphale’s crimes against Heaven, Crowley comes up with a plan to keep him safe from harm.

Mood: PTSD from witnessing the attempted murder of your husband, it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you, self-sacrificing idiots & badass idiots protecting eachother.

“Right! Brunch!” Aziraphale says, bouncing up on his toes - as if they hadn’t just been discussing the murder of archangels. “Do you think they have crepes?”

(13.6k) These Things Were Here by MajorEnglishEsquire

Crowley, following times of overwhelming distress, resorted to the snake form as a means of finding comfort and solitude.

Mood: displays of affection, love shown through care-taking, using your ineffable boyfriend as a security blanket.

Nothing like it happened again for years. The pattern, however, was too recognizable to be mistaken when it did reoccur.

When commended for some catastrophe of which he was no part, Crowley became a completely disconsolate mess, but he still actually handled those occasions better than when he was, in fact, party to such disaster.

If he was blamed, but not actually at fault, Aziraphale may find him on the verge of discorporation due to alcohol poisoning, but at least he would say what was wrong. It was worse when he had an assignment he couldn’t breathe a word of. It was worse when he would smile bitterly and leave silently, haunted beyond expression.

(4.6k) let sleeping snakes lie by kythen / @kythen

The world doesn’t end. Crowley falls asleep. And Aziraphale stays by his side, waiting for him to wake up again.

Mood: acts of love, comfort, warmth, home

To some extent, he understands Crowley’s need for sleep. It had been an exhausting decade for the both of them, what with the end of the world business, and it had culminated spontaneously in them cutting off their ties with both Heaven and Hell rather dramatically, which were the only ties that either of them have ever had since the Beginning. Just as Crowley had sauntered from the ranks of Heaven to Hell, he had finally found his way out of Hell and into something that finally felt like freedom.

(6.4k) All The Dreams We Had by ImpishTubist / @impishtubist

This time will be different, Aziraphale thinks. This time, Crowley will remember.

Mood: amnesia, groundhog day - but centered on a single relationship - and with more angst

It takes a year for Crowley to fall for him again, a year until the air raid and the church and the books; a year before Aziraphale finds himself pressed up against a brick wall and exchanging desperate, burning kisses.

Crowley’s forgotten again by morning.

(70k) The Place You Need To Reach by Zetared / @zetablarian

When Crowley is forcibly recalled to home office, Aziraphale conspires with a denounced saint and strikes a deal with the agents of Hell to get him back.

Mood: sacrifice, loss of self, trauma, love, tenderness and fantasy-novel-esque world & character building

“I have a journey to complete,” Aziraphale reminds the Adversary, primly. “May I begin?”

“In good time, Aziraphael. In good time. Tell me, do you recall the rules correctly?”

Aziraphale grits his teeth at the purposeful use of his forgotten name, but he doesn’t mention it. “Yes, of course. Using no miracles or ethereal influence of any kind, I must walk through the circles of Hell and complete an unknown task in each to earn passage to the next. I must not look behind me, where Crowley will walk. I may speak to Crowley, but he cannot speak back. I will not hear him or see him or feel even a hint of his presence. I will move forward, and, God willing, he will follow me.”

(1.9k) Kissing, Accidentally. by skybound2 / @skybound2

The one where Crowley gives in and kisses Aziraphale while he has him pinned against a wall.

Mood: hilarious footnotes, brilliant Crowley internal monologues and ineffable kissing against a wall.

No. No what actually happens is that when Crowley slams Aziraphale up against a wall in the middle of a hallway at a former-Satanic-hospital-turned-paintball-complex to express to him how very not nice he is, his hindbrain, forebrain and all other portions of his brain, decide that while denial has been a lovely place to reside for the previous six millennia, they are rather due a relocation at this point. And “Oh! Would you look at that! Here’s the oh-so-very soft mouth of an oh-so-very-beautiful angel right in front of us! And all we have to do to get there is to just…lean forward an inch. Less than an inch, in fact! How fantastic!”

(9.3k) Build Our Kingdom by Mackem

Mood: : ineffable dates, promises kept

“Ready for lunch?” Crowley drops to his knees to start unbuckling the straps on the basket as though this is something they do all the time; as though he hasn’t just effortlessly catapulted Aziraphale back in time almost fifty years.

“You remembered,” Aziraphale breathes as wonder courses through him. He mentioned something once during an awkward moment, half a century ago, and now here kneels a demon atop a picnic blanket.

“Hmm?” Crowley barely shoots him a sidelong glance as he concentrates on opening the basket.

Aziraphale’s eyes do not move from him. “You remembered,” he repeats, no less stunned. “Crowley, you really didn’t have to.”

Crowley’s hands still. Eventually, his eyes still on the basket, he murmurs, “Well, we did The Ritz, didn’t we?”

(9k) On The Matter Of Touch by Somedrunkpirate

For two ineffable husbands, they don’t really touch each other much. Here is a story on why that might be.

Mood: touch-starved idiots in love, heart-breaking internal monologues, misunderstandings, miscommunication, protective idiots.

Crowley had decided long ago that curiosity should have been a sin, because it has been the one thing consistently tempting him in his existence. He’s done everything he can think of and more, just so see what it was all about. But this, with Aziraphale, feels more than just an experience he can add to his endless tally

(8.2k) dum memor ipse mei by NeverNooitNiet

There is something, Aziraphale thinks, that is inherently selfish— unangelic, even— about grief. But then of course, the same could be said about love.

Mood: identity angst, calling Aziraphale out on his bullshit

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous ,” Crowley snaps. “Of course I don’t— angel, do you have any idea just how much more straightforward my life would be if only I were able to hate you?”

(5.6k) bent to the very earth by Ark / @et-in-arkadia

Use me, please, Crowley had said, so Aziraphale takes him at his word.

Mood: tenderness & kisses & sex against a wall

Aziraphale kisses him back because that is what makes sense, kissing Crowley, why, the thought crosses his mind often enough—he just never had the sort of momentum that seems to fire up Crowley now. Crowley whose hands are shaking before they ball up as fists on Aziraphale’s lapels, Crowley who keeps kissing him and kissing him like otherwise he’ll drown.

(40k) Lit in the Darkness by ToEdenandBackAgain / @toedenandbackagain

Mood: Aziraphale and Crowley sleeping together through the ages. Mutual pining.

Aziraphale, despite being nowhere hear as gangly as Crowley, is somehow still all arms and legs when he sleeps. Crowley takes an elbow to the face three times before he wedges the angel between the wall and his body with an angry growl, making sure to trap the flailing limbs tight beneath his own.

Works In progress

this gorgeous ineffable wives snippet by @mia-ugly

Mood: beautiful writing, emotional vulnerability, submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known,

“Whatever happens tomorrow -“ And something will happen, they won’t walk away from this. They’d never be allowed. “Darling, you should know -”

the bucket list

by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons / @watsonshoneybee

If you’re going to go native, you might as well go all the way.

Mood: saying the absolutely wrong thing at the wrong time, reaching your breaking point, miscommunication and heart break.

“You know, we are the way we are,” Aziraphale said slowly, pressing it a little, brushing his wing up against Crowley’s, “but we can also change, Crowley. We have done, over the years. We’ve changed quite a lot, since we first met.”

#ineffable husbands #good omens fic #ineffable husbands fic #good omens fic recs #ineffable husband fic recs #this is basically a love letter to this wonderful fandom #good omens #good omens fic rec

1K notes · View notes

grasslandgirl · 5 years

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im distracting myself from the impending doom of a six month hiatus and everything that... happened in MAG160 by thinking about all the Wonderful possibilities for jonmartin dynamics post-159 because I’m a sucker for pining and minor miscommunications and dumb fanfic tropes and I’m dragging all of you along on this ride with me!

1) They’re Both Just Chill: there’s no miscommunications, no misunderstandings. despite what peter said about them not knowing each other super well (and maybe he raised some valid points, despite being an asshole) they DO know each other well enough and had a deep enough connection during the look at me/ i see you, jon scene that they both just (for lack of a better word) Know. they look into each other’s eyes in the middle of the Lonely and they see the love there, and the hurt and the pain and the anger and everything, but they do see the love. and they recognize that, oh, we’ve been so dumb this entire time. and there’s no big Talk, no awkward stumbling around the question, they just move forward from jon and martin to jon-and-martin because they’ve wasted enough time already, haven’t they? they can’t afford to waste any more time at this point, and hey. they kind of have bigger problems going on, right?

2) I Really Loved You, You Know: ok so this one i’ve seen in quite a few fanfics and speculative posts about this one, and jon misconstruing how martin uses the past tense when talking to him in the Lonely, and can i just say....... it’s very good. you have jon, who’s been desperately trying to reconnect with people, especially martin, this entire season, who dives headfirst into the Lonely after him, and maybe he heard martin’s tape with elias from the end of s3, maybe he knows about martin’s feelings for him, maybe he at least suspects, and maybe he doesn’t; but the point of the matter is that he goes into the Lonely after martin because jon’s in love with him and i think we can mostly all agree that at least by MAG159 (and we can argue about WHEN he realizes it, later) jon is aware of his own feelings for martin. but he follows the man he loves, and he finds him, and he’s begging him to follow him out of the lonely, to come with him, and martin tells him that he loved him. really loved him. loved him, as in past tense. which, like, if you think about it? that’s SO heartbreaking. but jon keeps after him ANYWAY, and he breaks martin out of the Lonely’s grasp and they walk out side by side and then you’re left with jon, who is terrified on SO many different levels, and thinks that he failed, again. that he was too late with martin, too late to be his friend, too late to save him from Peter, and too late to love him, and he saved him, he did it, but it’s still heartbreaking, right? and juxtapose that with martin, who’s just been literally pulled out of his own loneliness by the man he’s been in love with for three years, and he told him he LOVED him and jon Didn’t Respond. and like? all the hurt and the pining and the trying to take care of each other despite everything and despite your own hurt that can happen there? SUPER good

3) Clueless Jon Doesn’t Know He Has A Boyfriend: this one kind of crosses over with #2 but it’s a little lighter and a little more fun. essentially you have martin, who says he loves jon and assumes jon heard his tape with elias where he outed martin entirely and sees jon come into the lonely to save him and hugs jon while crying when he comes to his senses and walks out of the lonely hand in hand with jon and thinks, quite reasonably, that ok, they’re dating now. and you have martin “caretaker” blackwood who’s worrying over jon and taking care of him and letting jon take care of him, and making him eat and they do all this vaguely date-y stuff because the world is kind of maybe ending, but hey! martin’s in love and hes going to enjoy it goddamnit. but then one day our beloved archivist, jon “emotionally obtuse” sims, has nearly a breakdown and he starts rambling on about how he’s in love with martin and he’s sorry and he wants there to be something between them and how he doesn’t want to change anything and this is terrible timing and he doesn’t even Know if martin feels the same way but he needed to get this off his chest etc etc etc and martin’s just like “i thought. i thought we were ALREADY dating.” which is.... hysterical if you ask me

4) Jonathan “Fuck The Lonely” Sims: kind of the opposite of the last two, in which jon is LESS of a moron than anyone expected! jon “the archivist” sims actually... thinks! he listens to the tape of elias and martin from MAG118 and reevaluates every interaction he ever had w martin after he wakes up from his coma and realizes that martin’s in love with him, and not only that, but HE’S in love with MARTIN, but has no way of communicating that to him until 154 and that whole conversation is just jon trying (and failing) to say “i love you. i love you and i know you love me and lets just say fuck this place and go. please lets just go the two of us, say you’ll come with me. i love you.” and martin. doesn’t understand. but then 159 happens and jon follows and they have That Moment and jon thinks that Finally they’re on the same page and meanwhile you have martin, who’s PEAK in his pining time, fresh out of a good year of self isolation and pure loneliness and needs a while to pull away from Forsaken and thinks that he’s alone in his pining after jon, because jon never said anything about the tape with elias, or martin saying he loved him in the lonely, and is completely clueless to the fact that jon thinks theyre straight up dating and are just taking it Slow. and then one day jon is like “hey ready for our date later” (they had dinner plans or smth but this is the first time he outrightly calls it a Date) or he kisses martin briefly on the forehead or cheek or smth and martin is like “WHAT IS GOING ON” and jon is just. baffled cause he’s not used to being the oblivious one in the relationship

5) Just Full On Pining Hours: theres some crossover here with both #2 and #4, but specifically this one is where BOTH jon and martin are full on in love and are idiots and think that the other person Doesn’t Love Them Back :( possibly featuring: jon focusing on the past tense of “i really lovED you, you know,” martin comparing jon going into the lonely to save him to jon going into the buried to save daisy/ cutting the bullet out of her leg to save melanie from the slaughter, jon being dumb and thinking all the statements he’s heard about martin’s “feelings” are elaborations/inaccurate/only in the past/etc, martin being so stuck in the lonely he pulls away from jon on instinct, jon caught up on what peter said about them not really knowing each other and MAD second guessing himself and questioning what his feelings for martin are really based on, both martin and jon throwing themselves MAJOR pity parties about falling to the power of the eye/the lonely respectively, jon going into “im a monster and im the worst and ive lost my humanity” mode and thinking he’s not Worthy of being with martin in the first place, martin being haunted by his time with peter and the lonely and keep falling back into the habit of pushing people (jon) away “for their own good,” etc etc etc etc! just a lot of sad pining hours bc these guys have been through a LOT and it’s hard to just drop straight into a healthy relationship (or Any relationship) when there’s so much baggage and history there in between

6) Run Away With Me, by Carly Rae Jepsen: I said what I said. i want them to be happy and so what if they run away and blind themselves and leave the archives and live in some house in another continent and never think about any of the entities again? i get to make the rules, its my fantasy au world and jonny can’t do anything to hurt them here

#look im SAD and i LOVE THEM and i need them to be HAPPY and SAFE OK #if this gets notes ill make fun daisira and georgie/melanie ones too be wlw rights #tma #tma spoilers #tma 160 #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #the magnus archives spoilers #mag160 #jonmartin #jonathan sims #jon sims #martin blackwood #otp: you’d do just about anything for him

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evakuality · 4 years

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Since we are all bored in quarantine I have a prompt for you. You've (jointly!) written two Davenzi soulmate AUs, and I am curious if there are qualities or events in canon that you consider solid 'soulmate material'? As distinct from other really good pairings.

Hmmmm, this is a really interesting question, anon. First, I have actually written other soulmate things for other pairs under a different name (and no I won’t say what name that is!), but you’re right in that Davenzi are the only pair so far that I’ve done more than one for. In general I just like soulmate ideas, at least when there’s some sort of difficulty around it, where it’s not just ‘find your soulmate and everything is wonderful’ - I need there to be some ‘what sort of world would this look like?’ stuff. So from one point of view, I just like exploring soulmates and the ways that can look.

(putting the rest behind a barrier because as usual for me, it got long)

Still, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I got this ask and I think there are things that feel more soulmatey with Davenzi than other pairings I enjoy. To be clear, when I think soulmates in ‘realistic’ terms I think more about equality, compatibility, trust and therefore the longevity potential of the couple rather than actually being ‘connected mystically’ since I don’t believe that exists in the real world (lol as if fiction is ‘the real world’ but you know what I mean). And in those terms I feel like Davenzi have more of that than other ‘really good’ pairings I enjoy.

One thing Davenzi has that a lot of the other pairings I love don’t is that they are both at the same age and the same stage of life. I know it’s a personal thing, but I love equality between the characters I fall for and it’s very very hard to do that when there’s an age or experience gap. I’ve seen it done well sometimes (I would argue that at least at times this can be true even of Evak), but it often just doesn’t work for me. So Davenzi already have that on their side. And then they both deep down just want the same thing: to be loved and accepted for who they are. There’s a compatibility in what they want, and also in the way they go about loving. They each do that in the way the other most needs: Matteo with an absolute rock hard conviction that they should be together and refusal to accept anything else (which David needs since he has a tendency to try to push away even those closest to him). David with a gentle pressure that knocks Matteo out of apathy and lets him know that he’s been seen and accepted for who he is, which is what he wants most (think of that ‘fitting in’ speech he gives Sara).

This is true for another of my loves as well, of course. Evak also both want to be loved and both think their true self is unloveable in some ways, and I do absolutely love their dynamic in which they both even out what the other most needs. But the thing that’s different between the two pairings is how long they keep secrets from each other for, and that degree of trust they have. It’s pretty clear that Even is still very insecure about himself and his worthiness in comparison to Isak. Isak seems to be fairly secure, except where it comes to Even’s old friends (and how sad that we never really got to explore either of those issues - there was so much there that was left unspoken). They do trust each other, but they also hide things from each other and/or avoid talking to each other about those things.

But what we see with David, for example, is that once he has Matteo’s support and the rest of the gang has made it clear that they’re with him too, he doesn’t seem to obsess over it the way Even does and he doesn’t keep more secrets. The things he and Even were hiding are very different of course, but it does lead to a different sort of dynamic between the pairings. David doesn’t appear to have any further secrets left and so he and Matteo are very secure pretty much as soon as s3 is over. Even still holds some things tight to his chest right through s4 and so while I do think Even and Isak are rock solid, I feel like they need more time and communication to get to the point where Davenzi are by the end of s4.

Or look at a couple like Jonas and Hanna, who I also enjoy by the end of s4. Their issues stemmed from a problem of mistrust and miscommunication (and from other people messing up their relationship with half truths etc). I think they are a ‘really good’ couple, but there’s no way they radiate ‘soulmate’ energy the way Davenzi does for me. They were never equal to start with (Jonas always considered himself superior to her and he had relationship experience etc), and while they are compatible, the lack of trust and bad communication caused some disastrous problems for them.

The thing with all three of these couples is that I do think they all work extremely well together at least in the end. They are all what I would class as ‘really good pairings’ and they are all compatible with each other. But the thing that, for me, defines that idea of ‘meant to be’ is more prevalent in Davenzi. If we break it down by the categories I said at the start:

Jonas and Hanna: equal: not really, though it’s better by the time they get back together. They’ve both had pining experience over the other since they broke up and they both decide they want to work at the relationship. Compatible: yeah, though again it’s something they may need to work at a little. But one thing they always did have was that they seem like they’re friends as well as lovers and that’s always important as well. Trust: hmmmm, well, certainly not at the start, and I think there are still things they need to work through by the time we see them at the end of s4, but I do think they have the tools now. Longevity potential: I’m not 100% sure that they will last forever. I think they can, but it would take work and so because of that I can’t say I see this as ‘soulmates’ in the way I imagine that looks in real life.

Evak: equal: in many ways, yes. But we do have the issue that Even was older and had more experience when they met and so he took the lead in a way that meant Isak became more of a follower than he had been in the past. Then, Isak was much more easily able to slip into a situation where he saw them as together forever, whereas Even still had his insecurities and fears and so he was keeping things back from Isak for a lot longer. So while they’re equal, there are ways in which there are/were still some imbalances. The fact that Even is seen as mysterious and unattainable by Isak for so long is such an integral part of their dynamic that it’s hard to ignore it even once the tables turn later in their story. Compatible: yes definitely, no questions here at all. They work together in a way that’s really wonderful to see, and they do each give the other what he most needs. Trust: well, Even’s tendencies to think of himself as not good enough and therefore to hide things from Isak is a possible point of contention. Longevity potential: If they talk it all through, I feel like there’s a good chance for things to be really amazing with them into the future, but Even’s issues with being fully open have the potential to be a stumbling block. I think they have a MUCH better chance at lasting than Jonas and Hanna, but there’s that one shadow looming. I suspect this would have been different if we’d been allowed to see their complete story but because we never did then we get this thing where it could go one way or the other.

Davenzi: equal: yes. They are the same age, they’re in a similar situation to each other, they want and need similar things. Compatible: yes, definitely. The things they each need are given to each other very freely and effortlessly (think about the way Matteo immediately respects David’s boundaries when he says the pinned together pages of his art book are too private, the way he hears ‘I’m not into you’ and absolutely refuses to accept it as truth because he sees easily behind the words to the truth of David’s feelings even if he’s a little confused, or the way David encourages Matteo, without being aggressive, in the early days or the way he lets Matteo lean on him when he needs it, and seems to readily know exactly when those moments are, but also can get Matteo to do what he needs to do by perfectly aimed reverse psychology stuff). Trust: I literally wrote an entire multi-part meta series on how good these two are at communication even when they aren’t great at it verbally. Because of this, by the time David has opened up to Matteo about being trans they are rock solid despite some of the stuff that happens. From that moment they are completely together and that’s never shaken at all. Longevity potential: I just can’t imagine a pairing that’s less likely to split than these two. The communication stuff is so important, they survived an entire road trip together, they just seem to ‘get’ each other, and know what the other needs, in a way that is very natural and effortless. Their similarities and differences just seem to blend together perfectly in a way that’s really hard to define, but that has a lot to do with the fact that they are the same age and they have had similar experiences.

To be completely clear: I love all three of these pairings, but this is just to show my own personal reasonings for why I see ‘soulmatehood’ more in one than the others. Also to be clear: I fully expect all of them to make it and I will never write any of them breaking up. But this is just how I see each of the three dynamics.

#druck #my meta stuff #Anonymous

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seriouslyhooked · 4 years

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I Luv You (A CS HS AU)

Reader prompted CS High School AU oneshot where Emma and Killian are friends but Emma wants more. There’s miscommunication (Emma thinks he loves someone else), but ultimately a cute and fluffy ending. Available on FF here and AO3 here.

A/N: Hey all! I have had quite a few of you ask for more high school AUs for Emma and Killian, and my muse rarely trends in that direction. But, after many many months of trying to find a story that worked, I stumbled across this song, ‘I Luv You’ by Sofia Carson and R3MIX. One of the lyrics has been stuck in my head on repeat, and I’ve thought of how wonderful it would be to incorporate into a CS drabble. As such, this story centers around Emma and Killian meeting in their senior year of high school. Killian is new to their school, having moved from the UK, but they’ve instantly clicked and prom season is coming up. Emma wants to go with Killian, but she’s aware that he might not be over someone else from his past, then, because I’m addicted to fluff, it all turns out to be a great big misunderstanding. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy and thanks so much for reading!

Everything’s going to be fine. I can handle this. I can get over him. Maybe? Someday? Oh God.

Closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath, Emma shook away the anxious thoughts that had clung to her for weeks. She didn’t want to linger in them, but she couldn’t let them go. Everywhere she went they followed, and there seemed to be no reprieve. As a result, she was a stressed-out mess, and her ability to hide her feelings was growing weaker and weaker by the minute.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried about this, Ems,” her friend Ruby said casually from where she was perched on Emma’s kitchen countertop, eating directly out of a tub of Ben & Jerry’s chunky monkey.

Ruby’s legs dangled as she swiped the last of the ice cream from her spoon greedily. She’d downed a full carton just this afternoon, the calories and sugar rush a non-issue. Emma knew if she tried that her mother would probably have a fit, but Ruby could get away with anything in the Nolan house. Emma’s parents had adored her since Emma and Ruby’s first day of kindergarten all those years ago when Ruby announced to the class that Emma was her ‘bestest friend’ and anyone who messed with her was ‘gonna know her wrath.’ At age five Emma had no idea what that meant, but to this day her Mom and Dad adored Ruby. She was loyal and courageous, and she’d lived up to her promise, proving to be the best friend Emma could ask for.

“I’m not worried,” Emma replied, but the declaration was hollow and lacked conviction.

“You’re gonna need to work on your acting, girl,” Ruby said with a sigh and a sad headshake, as if Emma’s attempt at seeming okay was just pitiable. “But seriously, all this stressing is for nothing. Killian is totally going to ask you to prom. He’s gonna swoop in with everything but a white horse, tell you he loves you, and steal your heart.”

“Ruby,” Emma whispered, chastising her friend but without much conviction. She wanted to reprimand Ruby for her fanciful ideas, but she couldn’t form more words in the face of someone stating exactly what she dreamed of.

“And honestly, it’s about time. You’ve been dancing around each other for ages. I mean I love a good slow burn, but this is just ridiculous.”

It certainly felt like Ruby was right, but Emma knew better than to believe that. No matter how many butterflies might take flight within her every time she saw him, or how many times her thoughts drifted to the handsome boy who’d become one of her closest friends, Emma knew that the feelings in her heart were one sided. Killian was in love with someone else, a girl back where he was from who he’d known before moving here. She still had his heart, and so Emma never could. She only wished that everyone else understood, maybe then they’d stop always talking like the two of them being together was a given.

“You’re one to talk. Dee, asked you to prom literally months ago, before prom was even announced.”

“Of course she did. She’s my girlfriend. Plus, she wanted to lock me down. I’m a hot commodity, as you well know.”

Emma rolled her eyes at Ruby’s antics. Her best friend loved to talk a big game, but since meeting her girlfriend, Dorothy, last year she’d been nothing but the picture of fidelity. She was smitten as could be and very much in love, but Ruby was determined to be considered a ‘wild child’ and Dorothy, or Dee, as everyone called her, was only happy to oblige.

“Okay well new rule, happily coupled off ‘besties’ don’t get to tell the single one not to worry.”

“Ugh, fine. But only because I love you and you used the word ‘besties’ with only limited sarcasm. I’m totally wearing you down.”

Emma bit back a smile and shook her head, but she was grateful for the out Ruby provided her. It wasn’t her friend’s natural instinct to walk back her opinion, and it showed Emma how much their friendship mattered to Ruby that she’d even try to do so.

“Also, I may or may not have agreed to be part of a conspiracy meant to distract you and then guide you to an important event that I cannot actually tell you about because I swore myself to secrecy.”

“Come again?” Emma asked, totally confused even as her pulse began to beat in faster time. Secret plot? What the heck was that? And why did she feel like it involved a certain hot, charismatic, and irresistible boy she could never stop thinking about?

“Wish I could explain, but that’s the whole thing about swearing yourself to secrecy, you kind of have to mean it. Mums the word, or whatever people say.”

“Ruby, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything except for making one teeny tiny little promise.”

“And that promise was…?”

“To make sure you stayed right here until…” she glanced at the time on the stove and smiled, “Now. All right, two minutes from now, but still. You get the drift.”

“Ruby, I don’t understand.”

“Emma,” Ruby said taking Emma’s hand and squeezing it gently, “You know I would never steer you wrong, right? I can’t get into it, but let’s just say there’s a reason I’ve been promising you that everything for prom would work out.”

Emma took Ruby’s words in and did the simple math: Ruby had been telling her not to worry about Killian asking because she knew he was planning to. He had told Ruby somehow, convincing her to help him with this surprise, and Ruby had agreed. It made Emma’s heart thump loudly in her chest over and over again, but then dread crept in. He was going to ask her to prom, but it was going to be a friend asking a friend. Somehow that was worse than not being asked at all. It would mean being so close to what she wanted, but still so painfully far away.

“Killian,” Emma whispered, her lips not daring to utter more than his name as the nerves took over.

“Yes, Killian,” Ruby said with a gleam in her eye, hopping off the table and straightening out Emma’s hair and her outfit like a personal stylist with a critical eye. “Don’t worry, you look totally kick ass, and so my work here is done. He’ll be here any minute, and I think it’s best if I get out of here before he does. Wouldn’t want to stifle any moments with my ever-present wit.”

Emma stood there in shock, watching her friend grab her bag and sashay out of the kitchen. Emma heard her retreating footsteps and barely managed to all out “Wait, Ruby!” before the front door closed. Ruby was gone, having departed the scene in a haste on par with that cartoon roadrunner she used to watch as a kid.

For a moment Emma warred with herself about what to do. She wanted desperately to wait here and to let him ask her. Maybe it would be more than a friend asking a friend. Maybe something had happened with the girl back home. Maybe he was free, free to love her, to choose her, to want her back… but then again maybe her greatest worries were exactly right. Maybe the nagging voice in the back of her mind that said something so perfect could never work out was correct. Either way she panicked, choosing self-preservation over facing what may come.

Leaving everything behind, Emma snuck out the sliding back door, breaking out in a run from the porch and heading into the thick grove of trees behind her home. There was a well-worn walking path that headed deep into the woods, and Emma knew it well, well enough to veer off of it and find her way to the one place she could imagine any kind of comfort at a time like this – the meadow.

Not far from her house there was a private glen that ran along the river, out of the way of any foot traffic that may come through the bramble of these woods. Emma had found it as a child, and for some reason no one ever seemed able to find her there. She could get lost for hours in that grove, enjoying the sun and the flowers and the sound of running water coursing by. It was close to home, but felt lightyears away and in that glen she could be anything and anyone. Her imagination was free there and her cares were far away. It was her special place, the one she never shared, the one she kept so close to her heart it felt like only hers. But then, on a whim, she’d brought Killian there, and though it was scary to do that, he’d reacted in the perfect way.

“It’s otherworldly, Emma. I can understand your love for this spot. I can think of no better place that I’ve ever been before.”

Emma held back tears as she approached this little oasis, knowing that it wouldn’t hold the answers that she wanted. Instead it would likely just remind her of Killian, and all that she wanted but that they just couldn’t have.

The closer she got, however, the more Emma realized that something was different. It was early spring, but she saw bright colors from afar. They were similar to the wildflowers that bloomed in May and June, but it was too early for them. Only when she got closer did she realize what was happening. The flowers here were real but were not wild. They were an assortment of every kind of blossom she’d ever loved and they had been placed by someone, filling the space in an attempt to recreate the most magical moments this meadow had to bring.

It dawned on her that no one would know to do this but Killian, and as she got closer Emma felt the tears brought on by his sweetness. By the time she was at the meadow’s edge, tears were streaming down her face, and she didn’t bother wiping them away as her hand came over her mouth.

There must be thousands of flowers here, and Emma had no idea how he could have possibly done this. Where would he even find so many flowers? And how could he have time? It would have taken him all day to do this, and so much longer to think of it. This was so much effort to go through for a friend, it almost made her think that she had to be wrong. He must feel the same. He must –

“I had pictured this going a little differently,” a voice said and Emma whipped around to see Killian, looking at her with a warm smile. He was genuinely glad to see her, but the bashfulness on his face was unmistakable and it made him look even more handsome. That earnest feeling mixed with seeing him dressed up, well it drove her a little wild, but she didn’t dare to move, waiting for him to approach her instead. “But I should have known you’d find your own way. You always do.”

“Why?” Emma asked, and Killian’s brow furrowed before she elaborated. “Why did you do all of this?”

“Because you deserve nothing less,” he countered, taking her hand though his blue eyes stayed locked on hers. “I did this because I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a very long time. I’ve gone back and forth about when and how. I wanted it to be right, but I couldn’t decide how. It’s just – well it’s complicated. Us being friends, it’s amazing and I’ve never had someone in my world like you, and I was afraid I’d muck it up, so I…”

He trailed off, his hand scratching behind his ear in a show of embarrassment and Emma swallowed down the hurt as best she could. She had been right. This was a prom proposal based in friendship, nothing more. He didn’t feel the same. He didn’t want her. He was just kind and good and perfect and he wanted to give her a lovely memory even if he couldn’t give her his love.

“Emma Nolan, will you -,”

Before he could get the words out Emma interrupted him, afraid that if he asked she’d break down in front of him and give herself away. This was a nightmare right now and she couldn’t bear it. “Killian… I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Before he could respond, she sprinted back towards the house, tears falling as she raced through the backwoods. Through the haze of her adrenaline, she heard him call her name, and then she felt his hand on her arm, halting her, holding her steady.

“Emma, love, I don’t understand. Have I done something? Is there…” his voice grew fraught and tense. “Is there someone else?”

“Of course there is!” she exclaimed, “But not for me. For you!”

“I don’t understand,” he replied, looking genuinely perplexed.

“Of course you don’t,” she said, a sad laugh emanating from her as she waved her hands in dismay. “I love you, Killian.”

“I love you too,” he replied immediately, and she shook her head.

“No, not as a friend. I love you. Like for real.”

“Emma, I feel the same way about you. I’ve been trying to tell you forever, but every time I tried you shut me down.”

“I had to,” she cried out. “Because you’re not over her.”

“Over who?”

“Merida.”

“Who?” he asked, sounding completely unaware of the name of the girl he loved.

“You know, the girl Liam’s always reminding you about.”

At the mention of the name Killian still looked confused and then he laughed. Wait, he’s laughing? Why is he laughing? This is serious! Before she could get angry though he pulled her to him, distracting her with his nearness as the sound of his voice washed over her.

“God I could kill my brother for this, but I haven’t got the time. Emma, ‘Merida’ is not some long-lost love I’m pining away for. She’s a seventy-six-year-old Scottish woman who used to be our neighbor.”

“Oh.” What else was there to say? Clearly she’d been an idiot.

“The only girl I’ve ever pined for has golden hair, jade colored eyes, and a bit of a temper.”

“Hey, I don’t -,” Killian interrupted her with a kiss she never saw coming, but that Emma immediately melted into. How could she fight with someone when they could do this instead? God it was perfect, everything she’d ever dreamed of, and even more he loved her! He’d said he loved her right? Oh please let her have heard that right. She waited when they broke apart, hoping he’d reiterate the words she’d always craved.

“She’s also brilliant and beautiful and bold. She’s kind and honest, fair and good. She’s always looking out for the people who she loves, and by God when she smiles at me, it’s like heaven itself made just for me.”

Emma looked at his face, searching for any trace of deceit, but there was none. He was pouring his heart out to her and laying it all on the line. It was just what she’d always wanted.

“I love you, Emma. I knew I would from the moment that we met. It’s you Emma. The girl I can’t get over is you, and I have no plans of ever trying. You’re it for me. I know we’re young, but I don’t care because -,”

This time it was her turn to pull him for a kiss, and she couldn’t help herself. After months of wanting him, he was finally hers, or maybe he had been all along. It felt so good to finally have this, to know that the dream she’d been waiting for was even better than her imagination could fathom, and only when they broke apart did she realize what this meant.

“Oh my God I messed everything up,” she said, hiding her face in his neck in embarrassment. “You tried to ask me to prom in the most romantic way and I ruined it.”

“I wasn’t planning to ask you to prom, Emma.”

“You weren’t?”

“No, love I was asking you to be mine, just as I’m yours. But as for ruining things, surely you must know you never could,” he said, his fingers running through her hair as he gazed at her adoringly. “You’ve made this the best day I’ve ever known. You told me you loved me. You let down the last bit of wall that was separating us. Everything’s been said now. There’s no secrets, no more doubts. You know my heart and I know yours. I couldn’t ask for more. And as for prom, if you want to go then we’ll go. I want to be wherever you are, Emma. For me it’s just that simple.”

“I want that too,” Emma said, kissing him again and feeling the lightness and joy that came with love that was reciprocal and true. After all the heart ache, they were together, and Emma knew their love would be forever. No matter what may come, or where they went from here, they were just meant to be. Always had been, always would be.

And though they spent the next few hours surrounding themselves in their newly found bliss, they eventually concurred that prom was a must. After all, Ruby would kill her if she didn’t go, and with Killian by her side it was bound to be a night she’d always remember and never forget.

…………….

You the type of guy to write a song about You're laid back, nobody know what's on your mind We been talking for a while now (We been talking for a while now) And I been falling for a while now You say that everything with you is fine Even though we're always hanging out I get the feeling that you're not around, yeah

We were always up to something Now you're all in your head

I love you But I wish it wasn't true 'Cause I know you think of her When I'm lying next to you I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you

You the type of guy to tell your mom about You're laid back, but running circles round my mind I been falling for a while now (I been falling, I been falling, I been falling) But you been lying for a while now You say that everything with you is fine Even though we're always hanging out I get the feeling that you're not around, yeah

We were always up to something Now you're all in your head

I love you But I wish it wasn't true 'Cause I know you think of her When I'm lying next to you I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you (I can't get over you)

I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you

Post-Note: So there we have it. I hope you guys have enjoyed this little drabble, and to my lovely readers who always ask me for more bisexual Ruby representation, I had you guys in mind with this one too. I know it’s a very short feature, and I am usually very committed to the Ruby/Graham pairing, but I’m happy to share the love for everyone that I can. I wish the show had developed a lot of these characters and relationships more, but hey, there’s always fanfic! Anyway, thank you all for reading and hope you have a great weekend!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186, Part 187, Part 188, Part 189

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #cs fic #cs #cs au #cs ff #cs fluff #cs hs au #captain swan high school au #emma swan #killian jones #ruby lucas #ouat au #captain swan mixtape #cs mixtape #i luv you #i luv you cs #prompted fic

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albatris · 4 years

Text

mm okay I’m a little bit drunk on baileys n I’m gonna go on that brycengreer sibling ramble I’ve been meaning to go on for like two months now yeehaw

got a bit more intense than i intended

spoilers, spoilers, yeah, kinda, I guess

and, oh, just lots of unnecessary words and being the polar opposite of concise

it’s a reaaaaaaal long one, my fuckin bad, might come back n edit it down later lmao

k so

there is one specific thing that comes up..................... a bit. in the story. and this is the idea that there is pent up resentment and jealousy and anger between the Greer siblings

and IMO I am extremely careful not to lean into the idea that this is the case when I’m writing and when I address their relationship with each other, ‘cause it’s just something that............. isn’t there??? like at all??

here’s what I do, in-story:

all I do is just present their situation and their history and their relationship with each other, I talk about the various feelings they do share and what kinds of tensions are involved at the times when there is tension involved, but overall, they all have a really positive relationship with each other!!!! they love each other!!!!

there is some level of miscommunication between Tris and Becca because of Reasons and that is something that’s addressed in the story and something that gets dealt with, but they absolutely do love each other, all of them do

n relationship between Tris and Becca is never really under that much scrutiny by other folks in the story n that’s not what this post is about, ‘cause like, other folks REALLY like to focus on the relationship that Tris and Becca have with Jacob, right

so, the two things I do, 1) present the situation and 2) voice other characters’ interpretations and perceptions of said situation

‘cause the idea that there’s pent up jealousy and anger that Tris and Becca have directed at Jacob is something that’s almost exclusively voiced by other characters in the story and isn’t supported by...... much else. and it’s something that is presented as a source of a lot of anxiety and discomfort for all three of the Greer sibs, Tris and Becca particularly

n yeah, I don’t know how I feel about readers potentially going through this story assuming that this is actually the case............. though readers are free to do what they would like, regardless of my intent

I just mention it ‘cause like

one thing is that it’s the kind of family dynamic in fiction that’s really frequently used as the setup for a story about jealousy and resentment, y’know, ‘cause at a glance there’s this dynamic, right, this Dynamic

with these overbearing, strict, emotionally distant, controlling, etc. parents who place all kinds of pressure onto their kids and want to project this Perfect Family Image at all times, they’re obsessed with appearances and success and being normal, super normal, More Normal Than You

n then you’ve got this one over-achieving, polite, social, well-liked older sibling who got straight A’s and can do no wrong, who everything comes (supposedly) easily and naturally to, and the younger two who are.................... not good at school, kinda weird, never Act Right, both neurodivergent, can never quite live up to their parents expectations........ generally treated by said parents as kinda just. lowkey embarrassing. some kind of blemish they need to hide because they don’t lend themselves to this We’re A Happy And Normal Family Who’s Doing Better Than You :) :) vibe

like, as a general rule, the Greer parents are more concerned with image than they are with any of their kids’ actual wellbeing

Becca’s got a lot of ADHD going on and their parents Really did not like it when she came out as bi because obviously it’s just for attention (and like, hey, Becca’s really fucking good at arts and sports and eventually goes on to play professional basketball not that that gets covered in story but That’s Not Important because she doesn’t get good grades and that’s all that matters :///)

n Tris began exhibiting signs of psychosis when he was little and their parents were just sorta like “hm we should probably exorcise this child like the nice normal well-adjusted family we are” and then they tried to do that and I think he was maybe a little bit too young to completely understand what was happening but kinda grew up thinking that was a totally normal and reasonable thing for them to do and not just a completely fucked up thing that should never have been allowed to happen

then went on to have his first full-blown psychotic episode at thirteen years old and his parents were just sort of like. Hm. You Should Have Some Therapy To Fix You Maybe. Also We Are Literally Never Going To Speak About This Ever

and I think largely the outlook other characters have (and I think, the outlook the Greer parents have) is that Jacob comparatively just kind of................ cruised right on through with no issues?

so I think a lot of people kind of look at the Greer family and are like.......... well, look at them, there’s got to be some fucked up feelings there, how could there NOT be. n I think pretty much everyone barring Noa and the Greer sibs themselves on some level think there’s some level of bad blood

and their mistake is........ well, two things, from an outside perspective

the first being the assumption that Jacob had it easy, ‘cause like........... YES Jacob is extremely good at keeping up appearances and meeting his parents’ expectations but he’s the human embodiment of that, uh, what is that one The Onion headline that’s like.......... “This Brilliant 11-Year-Old Ballerina Is Living Proof That Children Can Achieve Anything If We Push Them To The Breaking Point”

y’know, as if Jacob didn’t grow up in the same high-pressure environment where love is completely conditional and only given if you can prove that you Earned It, as if he wasn’t constantly plagued by the fear that if he slips up or steps even slightly out of line or is anything less than Completely Perfect And Accomodating at all times, that love will be taken away. n he grew up into a neurotic perfectionist with identity issues who can’t set boundaries and doesn’t feel he has any worth if he’s not constantly being Useful and Relevant and Smart and giving as much of himself as possible

and, more pressingly, he grew up with literally Zero idea how to navigate any sort of healthy balanced relationship, he’s someone who, with the exception of his siblings, grew up only experiencing love as fear, and as such, he’s someone who’s very easily taken advantage of and he doesn’t have the capacity to recognise it

so, like, yeah, Jacob was better at projecting the Nice Normal Family Image that his parents wanted than Tris and Becca have been, but he still grew up facing the exact same pressures and unpleasantness and overbearing control and had the Worst Fucking Time

like, he was not having fun at all, he was terrified 24/7

and the second mistake is, like............ in assuming that the Greer siblings are in competition with each other? like, it’s easy to project all sorts of bad blood and jealousy and pent-up anger onto the two younger siblings if you assume that they’re in competition with Jacob in vying for their parents’ affection and attention but like........ they’re not

n I’ve talked a bit in the past about how Jacob has always been extremely, extremely protective of his younger siblings purely because he didn’t want them to go through the same bullshit he did all on their own. n he’s probably 90% of the reason either of them are anywhere near as well-adjusted as they are, and he’s pretty much been the only consistent source of love and stability and genuine emotional support they’ve had through most of their childhood, ‘cause he knew damn fucking well they weren’t going to get it from their parents

largely due to Jacob, probably, ‘cause like. he has thirteen extra years under his belt and he came to the conclusion, probably when he was quite young himself, that literally nothing he ever does is ever going to be Good Enough and that no matter how well he does in school or socially, his parents will find some new thing to nitpick or to tell him to aim for, and like......... well, that’s horrible to have 2 come to grips with at any age?? he can do lots of things that make his parents happy but nothing he does is actually going to get his parents to love him as a person, their genuine love is completely unattainable

which changed his priorities a LOT

n like, he’s a genuinely good guy. he’s very caring and sweet and kind and supportive and he loves his siblings very much

n I think there's this assumption that Jacob is the only one of the kids their parents actually love when that's not really it at all? he's the one they LIKE but they don't love any of them

which is oversimplifying it by a lot, because Tris and Becca have all sorts of complicated feelings about their parents and definitely don’t hate them (yet), but, like, you get what I mean

which I think is where people make the mistake, y'know, bcthe Greer sibs are not in competition with each other, they’re kind of, supporting each other against a common enemy

like, both Tris and Becca struggle a lot with their feelings about their parents, and over the course of the story, Tris is kind of............... juuuust starting to come to grips with how fucked up his relationship with his parents is, or more like....... I mean he kind of Already Knows, but assumes that he on some level deserves it, and over the course of the story is kind of like

Oh Wait None Of This Was My Fault And None Of What Has Happened To Me Was Normal

and even from THAT regard though, that was something that Jacob had been kind of pushing for from day one, Jacob is kind of the person who laid a lot of the foundations for him to eventually realise that, although of course that kind of final leap is one you have to make on your own and something that takes a lot of work

but he kind of struggles with the complicated grey area of being like “I love my parents” and “the way they treated me was legitimately fucked up and I didn’t deserve it” and that’s.......... a whole thing

n like.............. from a readerly perspective, this is stuff that comes out over the course of the story as you kinda learn more about their backstory and their relationship with each other

but again, the familiar setup most people associate with resentment is kinda there, and there’s a lot of kinda........... pressure from other (sometimes well-meaning) characters when they voice their opinions about the Greer siblings’ situation from outside perspectives

and like I said, I’m not sure how I feel about readers potentially going through this story assuming that those characters are Right, ‘cause I don’t think that’s necessarily something I lean into or build towards if you’re paying attention

like, I think those readers who DO assume that there is bad blood, they might be a little disappointed if they feel that the story is building to An Explosion and then there just............ isn’t....... but part of me is also like

well lmao that’s entirely on you, and you’re just illustrating my point, actually

like at no point did I express that this was a thing or even hint towards it, all of this came from Other Characters Projecting and from You Projecting

n also while I don’t want people to feel cheated there is a part of it that’s just like. super fucking funny to me. if like

someone reads this story and assumes there’s all this Bad Blood just waiting to finally bubble over and explode in some climactic moment, y’know, and the story gets to this real heated tense moment where the cracks are starting to show and push is coming to shove and then the huge plot twist is just like

“no they all do legitimately love each other so much and support each other unconditionally and want each other to be safe and happy and loved and they’d do anything for each other and the entire point of their story is how much they care about each other and how powerful and important the connection they have with each other is”

fuckin LOVE that. that’s so fucking funny to me

you wanted edgy bullshit??

TOO FUCKIN BAD

ONLY WHOLESOME BULLSHIT HERE

also happy endings for all three Greer siblings involve them at some point in their early adult lives saying “fuck it” and moving interstate never to return

#alcohol mention #i mean just cuz i mention it at the top there cuz baileys there's no alcohol in the post itself #also tw for i guess emotional abuse in main text and unhealthy parent relationships if you don't wanna read abt that #atdao #n like #idk how i ever initially thought i could make tris's plotline work without jacob at the centre of it bc its like #y'know #he's a person who's spent so much painstaking time building up a structure in his life #that feels Safe and Protected and Normal #building up this comfort zone and this kind of safety bubble that's the only way he can navigate the world without being #in a constant state of panic #n then there's the question #''what would make him immediately abandon this safety bubble and throw himself into danger with zero hesitation no questions asked?''#to which the answer is obviously Jacob Greer Is In Trouble And Needs Help #which i dont want to read as like...... y'know; tris feeling useless compared to jacob and this is a chance #for him to kinda prove himself #it's not that at all it's just like #literally the most obvious thing in the world to him there is zero doubt or hesitation #and yes he screams in terror the entire fucking time but that's hardly the point

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springday-aus · 5 years

Text

Enemies to Lovers!AU with Doyoung

moodboard link

Group: NCT

Member: Kim Doyoung

Genre: fluff, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: 1.8k

okay so Doyoung is the mom friend of the lil high school!Dreamies

he’s got these mama bear instincts whenever he’s around them

all he wants to do is protect them because the world is awful

except for Donghyuk

Doyoung thinks Donghyuk can protect himself

I’m kidding……. not really though

anyways

he’s always making sure they’re always hydrated and eating all their meals

if they weren’t, he would make sure they got their reusable bottles filled or treat them out

sometimes he’ll just make large ass portions of food and give them some

Chenle and Jisung literally exploit this down to the core

Doyoung did catch on…... and nagged them………

……… only to keep feeding them later on lol

speaking of nagging

jeSUS

Jaemin: “my ears are getting closer to bleeding because of Doyoung”

Jeno: “he lectures me more than my actual mom”

Jaemin: “………….that sounds about right”

and like the dreamies…. they make these jokes all the time, but like….

at the end of the day….. everyone knows that it’s Doyoung’s way of showing that he cares

so, where do you fit in?

well, with the mom friend, there’s the dad friend

that’s you

you’re the whole package, from the dad jokes to the barbeque skills

you care for the dreamies just as much as Doyoung

like giving them relationship advice or spending some free time with them so they get to relax from school and life stuff

since you aren’t with them as much, you even give them some money from time to time if they need it

it’s like a cute little family

but….. there’s a catch……….

despite being the mom friend and the dad friend……. y’all do NOT get along

it’s almost like y’all got a bad divorce

Renjun: “I feel like I’m being asked which of my parents I like better”

Jisung: “how are we even supposed to respond to that?”

Renjun: “I suddenly don’t speak Korean”

Jaemin: “tHAT’S NOT FAIR”

anyways

one time y’all got dinner together as a whole group and….

yIKES

let’s just say there was an argument……

in front of the kiddos……. and the restuarant…....

and it was NA S TY

like y’all were real close to throwing some hands

no one dares to bring it up to this day nor does anyone try to plan another full fam outing……

Jeno: “we’re not involved, but we’re involved”

Chenle: “hmmmm, we love tea”

anyways

even though all of nct know what’s up……

(because Doyoung doesn’t ever stop to complain about you—cue side eye from literally everyone)

it didn’t stop them from planning a whole group vacation

and I mean WHOLE group so that means...

with you

because the dreamies begged Doyoung……..

when Doyoung asked you to come, you really stretched it

You: “sorry, what was that??? you??? need??? me???”

Doyoung, with gritted teeth: do it for the kids, do it for the kids

basically, Johnny and Jaehyun have lake houses near the shore and for spring break, y’all went together

and they thought it’d be fun to have everyone there

could you imagine a space that’d fit all of these boys like……. jesus christ

anywho—lakehouse, plus ot…. (god knows how many members there are now)

let’s just say like 20 of them

so, when you and Doyoung first arrive, y’all just kind of ignored each other….

because like no one wants to get between y’all

but like, as time went by, the small things started to build-up

like Doyoung’s side comment on your outfit…..

and your comment on his food…….

oof

Lucas: “how much did I miss???”

Taeyong: “you have no clue dude”

so everyone just let it happen

however…. some of the dreamies thought of this as an opportunity

by dreamies, you know I mean Donghyuk, Chenle, and Jisung….

basically, the troublemaker line

so, you all planned to go kayaking on the lake right

obviously, Doyoung planned it because the dreamies wanted to try it and they were like

“LET’S INVITE DAD”

Doyoung: “............................. I guess”

so y’all head out and it’s fun

like y’all have actual fun as a group

even though you and Doyoung are in the same kayak…… lowkey ignoring each others presence

……….. until Donghyuk decides to come out of nowhere……

and fucking takes your ores

and with pleasure—he’s literally laughing when he sees your faces

Jisung: “WORK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS YOU ARE ADULTS”

Chenle: “DON’T BOTHER CALLING UNTIL YOU TWO ARE MARRIED AGAIN”

**cue them quickly trying to row away in order to avoid you and Doyoung’s wrath**

so what happens?

almost nothing for like 30 minutes

but then Doyoung speaks up

Doyoung: “we can just pretend we like each other until we get to shore”

You: “that’s an idea that would have been nice about 20 minutes ago”

he just loses his temper with you and explodes

Doyoung: “literally, why are you so rude to me?”

can you believe the fucking audacity???

Doyoung’s literally been so rude to you since like week one and you could not figure out why

he’s always giving you nasty looks and it rubs you the wrong way

meanwhile, Doyoung can’t understand what your deal is with him

like you’ve been shutting him out since y’all met

both of you understand that y’all are only rude to each other……. because the other person’s rude…….

right????

You: “I should be asking that—why are YOU so rude to ME??”

Doyoung: “what are you talking about? you clearly started this whole fiasco”

You: “eXCUSE ME??? you literally look down on me all the time and I don’t understand why—did I do something to offend you?”

Doyoung: “....... I just thought…….. you…. had a problem…. with me……”

You: “.... I thought you had a problem with me…..”

…... well…. things have officially become awkward

so nct did find out what the lil troublemaker line was up to and came to get y’all

but like….. it was weird….

because y’all looked embarrassed as hell about the whole situation

later that night, after everyone went to sleep

you were out on the shore, looking at the beach with a lil fire you made and a glass of beer

Doyoung comes out as well and he spots you

so he heads over to you with a glass of wine in hand and sits next to you

not super close to you, but close enough for you to notice

Doyoung: “you might want to head in, you could catch a cold”

You: “if that’s the case, why are you out here?”

Doyoung: “..... valid point”

y’all just kind of sit there in silence, looking out at the waves…. it’s nice

it’s kind of the first official time y’all are not fighting

even in the dark, you can see he’s got handsome features

with the anger subsided…… you can see he’s got a good face

it’s okay though, he’s just noticing how cute you are too

eventually, he speaks up: “I’m sorry for the way I treated you before... I just thought you were rude to me so”

you didn’t think he’d say anything about the whole misunderstanding

You: “don’t be, it was my fault too for assuming, I’m sorry too”

tsk, tsk, common miscommunication

anyways, after that moment, you two were slowly making up for the bad times on the rest of the trip

y’all are kind of in your own little bubble,

whereas, everyone’s just confused

Jaemin: “are we in an alternate universe?”

Jeno: “maybe bc one of their plans actually worked”

Chenle: “this is why you should listen to us more”

Jisung: “we come up with the best plans”

Renjun: “no”

meanwhile

Mark: “I’m confused, do they like…. not hate each other?”

Donghyuk: “Mark, can you please keep up with the program?”

this even continues when y’all get back

the dreamies like to call this “the process of re-marrying”

because lowkey y’all end up lowkey dating

eventually, y’all do go out without the dreamies and it’s….. nice bc it’s kind of an official date

first, it was all casual like lunch

or brunch bc there was a coupon date deal and Doyoung wanted to use it

then y’all moved to dinner…. and then movies….. and other dates like when the fair came to town, shopping dates, or browsing through IKEA

you swore that you needed to get a new desk chair and y’all literally left with nothing LMAO

okay but like the dreamies rights?

they def followed y’all on some of the dates

the whole hoodies, fake mustaches, holding up the menus shit

Doyoung: “should we tell them we’ve seen them since the bus stop?”

You: “nah, they’ve been following us for a while, they might as well stay to get something to eat”

Jaemin: “WE’VE NEVER BEEN CAUGHT LOOK AT HOW SLICK WE ARE”

Doyoung: *pays for their meals*

Donghyuk: “I can’t believe I got roped into this shit”

anywho

dating Doyoung feels like having a housewife

he’s constantly making sure you’re eating six meals a day

(because he read online that it’s better for your metabolism)

which is without the snack breaks

…….. which Doyoung also preps for you………

and the dreamies of course

he’s got like EVERYTHING in his bag because ANYTHING could happen

also he’s gonna do that thing where he checks to make sure you got everything

imagine him with a little satchel and you literally have everything in your clothes with deep ass pockets

Doyoung: “where’s the medicine?? where’s the tissues???”

You: “babe, I only need my keys and my wallet”

anyways

he’s always gonna give you a kiss on the cheek before you go

there’s the full parent dynamic in the works

and even though the dreamies are glad “the parents” have made up

they do that thing where they scream when y’all kiss, or show just general affection in front of them

Chenle: “JISUNG IS STILL TOO YOUNG TO SEE THIS MONSTROSITY”

Jeno: *covering Jisung’s eyes* “you’re the role models here, what type of example are you setting for us”

Renjun: “happy for you, but ew”

Doyoung: “I want new kids”

anyways lots of warm hugs from Doyoung

like full-on hugs—he doesn’t give half-ass hugs

(unless it’s to Donghyuk……… joking)

that also means cuddling sessions for days

You: “I need to pee”

Doyoung: “................ just two more minutes”

the mom in him is like super supportive

like I’m talking ALL the banners and the pompoms

also cheers with your name

god he’s so embarrassing but you love him

bro I’ll bet good money that he gonna start nagging you too

but you know he means well

cause even though he’s telling you to stop playing in the rain with the dreamies, nagging you about your procrastination on your work, or complaining about the messes you make

you best believe that he’s gonna make you soup when you get sick, help you with your work, and help you clean up

Doyoung: *telling you about how you need to dry your hair immediately after to prevent colds and headaches from occurring*

also as he’s nagging, he’s got a towel and a hairdryer in his hands

You: **heart eyes** “I love you”

Doyoung: “you better, I’m not working this hard for you to die early”

You: “jusT LOVE ME BACK”

Doyoung: “so needy, I love you too idiot”

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planetsam · 5 years

Text

Prompt: Alex & Rath AU continuation where they have that talk they were meant to have, please.

Follow up to this: HERE. Because apparently having Astrea going on ao3 isn’t enough to stop me from continuing Alex and Rath in this format if I’m prompted.

His top three mornings on Antar are the first, the day after they win, and the one where he wakes up with Alex in his arms.

Alex is cool against him. When he was a kid he always dreamed that one day he’d have a place where he could be with Alex and not have to worry. Now that it’s here he’s almost afraid of it. If he breathes too loudly or moves to quick will it break? His fingers almost tremble as he touches Alex’s skin. The last time he was tan from the sun. Now he’s paler. But Alex is the same, same warm tone but cool skin. Michael traces along the cuts of muscle and the new scars. He’s adapted to the Antar mindset and each of Alex’s scars fill him with pride and awe at his survival. A soft huff of laughter draws his eyes up as he skims his fingers over a line on Alex’s hipbone. Alex is awake, watching him. Michael flattens his hand and puts them level again.

“Morning,” he says. Alex smiles, “how was sleeping for twelve hours?”

“Not as amazing as the wakeup,” Alex say with a smile that Michael swears he feels in his toes. He kisses Alex slow and soft, taking the time to feel every languid slide of their mouths and hands. Alex makes a low sound of encouragement, but there’s none of the tension or desperation that he usually exhibits after, “but I have to file my debrief,” he says. Michael drops his head to his collar bone with a groan that makes Alex laugh, “I’m sorry!”

“Why is it when I get cockblocked it’s by the US military?” He demands, no actual anger in his tone. Alex pushes his curls from his forehead and Michael leans into the touch.

“I guess you’re just that special,” he says.

Michael flops over as Alex gets out of bed. Michael watches as he slides on his leg and then grabs the dark robe. He fastens it easily and gets up, managing to wear it more naturally than Michael is sure he’s pulled off. Ever. Even though he was literally made to be in those robes. There’s also the fact that Alex is wearing it commando and only they know which, again, might be the best use of those robes ever. He watches as Alex gets up and goes over to his bag, pulling out a slim laptop and a pair of spectacles.

He’s definitely trying to kill him, Michael decides watching him put them on and begin to work. Michael groans loudly until Alex tears his eyes from the computer. Michael props his head up on his hand and looks at him. Alex considers him for a moment and then picks up the laptop, coming back over. Michael tries to look as innocent as he possibly can. Alex looks at him steadily before getting back into bed, on top of the covers.

“Don’t even think about it,” he warns.

Michael holds up his hands, he isn’t denying distracting him crossed his mind but hey if it gets Alex on the bed he’s willing to behave. Or at least try to. At the very least though he’s willing to get up and make them both coffee or the Antar equivalent. It’s when he’s out of bed that there is a knock on the door. Michael’s eyes narrow and he grabs his robe with his powers, flinging it on. Apparently it’s commando day in this part of the palace. When he opens the door though, he’s suprised to see Isobel standing there looking almost nervous. She fidgets slightly with her fingers. Isobel and fidgeting are two things that don’t go together and alarm bells go off in Michael’s head.

“I need to talk to you,” she says.

“Is this about Alex?” He asks.

“Sort of—“ Michael turns as Alex bolts up from the bed. Isobel peers around the corner and her face falls, “damn,” she mutters.

“What’s going on?” Michael questions, stepping aside so she can come into the room.

“It got out Alex came back here,” she says, “people are questioning the peace treaty and if he was a double agent,” she explains, looking at Alex apologetically, “they’ve already locked down the portal.”

“What?!” Michael says.

“They think you seduced him during the talks.”

“That’s insane,” Michael says, “he seduced me way before then—“

He turns to see Alex sitting looking completely horrified. Michael thinks anyone whose accusing Alex of not doing his job is out of their fucking minds. But Alex is in a far more complicated position. Michael goes over to where he’s sitting on the bed, lost in his own thoughts and drops next to him, making sure their legs touch. That at least startles Alex enough for him to look at him and Michael grabs his hands, ignoring the way Alex stiffens in surprise.

“Look at me,” he says, “no-one knows the whole story. We can explain what happened,” he says, “and why the idea of these not being legit is completely insane,” he cups Alex’s cheek, desperate to get him to focus anywhere but his miserable thoughts, “You’re not a traitor. We know that and someone else does too or they would just throw this thing out. We just gotta tell them about high school—“

“You seduced me,” Alex cuts in.

“Huh?” Michael says.

“You seduced me,” Alex repeats, “you played the guitar for me.”

“In the shed you invited me to camp out in,” Michael says.

“I was being nice!”

“So was I,” Michael protests.

“Okay!” Isobel cuts them off, “this is nauseatingly cute but it’s not good,” she says, “I’m sorry, but if you two do this fling it’s not going to help. If you break up—“

“Hey!” Michael cuts in, “we’re not—“ he looks at Alex.

“We haven’t been on an official date,” he explains, “this was a surprise trip on my part, I got swept up in the moment—“

“Clearly trying to seduce me again,” Michael cuts in, earning a nudge from Alex, “we’ve been out though, slapping a title on it doesn’t change that right?”

Alex looks at him dryly.

“I can see why you think i seduced you,” He says and continues past Michael’s feigned outrage, “What are you suggesting?”

“Something slightly more serious,” isobel says.

Michael stares at her. She cannot possibly be suggesting what he thinks she might be suggesting. He looks at Alex. Alex is a solider, a warrior. He thinks that them both being in Antarian robes is the most Alex has been out of the closet in a long, long time. Alex isn’t immediately refuting the ludicrous idea which means its on him.

“No. Absolutely not. We are not getting fake married for the peace of two worlds.”

“Married?!” Alex says.

“I was thinking engaged,” Isobel says, “arranged marriages are common here. Technically Michael and I were in an arranged marriage. We just didn’t get married, but we didn’t date before we were engaged.”

He opens his mouth to deny this is ever going to happen, when he realizes the same denial isn’t coming from the man sitting next to him on the bed. Alex looks stricken but he hasn’t immediately shot the idea down. He looks at Isobel and then at Alex and then gets up.

“Get out,” he says.

“Excuse me?” Isobel demands.

“Get out I need to talk to Alex,” he says.

Isobel rolls her eyes but leaves. Michael smiles just slightly as he turns around. He may have always wanted to kick a sibling out of his room because he had a boy over. This boy, to be precise. Or man. Who is sitting there with his most concentrated face.

“So, uh, I can call her off,” Michael says, “or, we could do it,” he looks at him, “this kind of feels like an ‘us’ discussion,” he hesitates and then continues shyly, “you didn’t say no.”

Alex hangs his head, rubbing his face. He’s right, he didn’t say no. He wouldn’t say no. Their relationship has been so fraught with miscommunication that he knows him being there in robes on Michael’s bed will be less than him objecting. He looks at Michael who looks stricken but also hopeful. Alex wonders briefly if the universe is stacked against them, if there’s any point to fighting it like this. But one look at Michael and he has the answer to that.

“I didn’t come back here for the world,” he says, “I came back here for you.”

“But—“ Michael swallows, “marriage?”

“Engagement,” Alex says, “we would date while we were engaged,” he continues, “I’d have to learn the customs of this place—“ he trails off at Michael’s stunned look, “we could be engaged for a while,” he finishes.

“Yeah,” Michael says.

“That’s what dating is working towards anyways right?” He continues, “seeing if you want to marry someone.”

Ten years ago that wasn’t an option on earth. He looks at Michael.

“Can we get married here?” He asks tentatively, wondering if this is over before it’s begun.

“Oh, yeah, I wrote that into the constitution for us,” Michael says.

“Ha ha,” Alex replies sarcastically, “seriously though—“ he trails off as Michael looks at him calmly, “you’re not kidding.”

Michael shakes his head.

“Did you pick out a ring too?” Alex asks and there’s no sarcasm in his voice.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Michael says, “come on.”

He grabs Alex’s hand and leads him to the wall. He steps through and Alex follows him into a dark and cool passage. Several scanners inspect Michael and then let him continue. This place is cool and it’s made of an odd dark purple stone that flickers with light Alex can’t pinpoint the location of. Mostly because Michael is setting a brisk pace and brings him to the dead end. His hand glows red and he presses it to the wall. It vanishes to reveal a gilded door, the rosy gold bright warm in the passage. Michael opens it and pulls him inside. Alex used to like jewelry but it was costume jewelry.

This is definitely not.

It’s the Antar Crown Jewels and there are a lot of them. The purple stone turns rainbow and reflects everything, making the room seem like it’s a geode. There’s crowns and ornaments and if Liz ever seals the deal with Max she is never going to have to buy jewelry again. He recognizes a few pieces Isobel has worn and a few crowns Max has as well. Michael leads him to a section that has a lot of achingly beautiful weapons and ceremonial armor. Michael stops and turns to him.

“This is my section,” he says, “there’s not a lot of rings but I’m sure Max and Iz don’t mind if you wanna look,” he says and brings him over, “it doesn’t have to be a ring but in context—“

Alex looks at the rings. Michael turns away so Alex can’t read his reactions. Alex feels a rush of annoyance and affection towards him as he turns back to the bands. Two stick out at him though, a narrow band of obsidian and an equally narrow one of coppery gold. He picks them up and stands in front of Michael. Surprise goes to happiness and then to something else. Michael’s eyes go bright.

“What?” Alex asks.

“Which one?” Michael counters and Alex takes his hand and slides the black one up his finger. Michael looks at it and then takes the coppery one, carefully sliding up his finger. Alex looks at him curiously, “this was my grandfathers,” he says holding up his own hand. His gaze softens, “that was my mom’s.”

Alex opens his mouth to offer to give it back but Michael bends and kisses the back of his hand, like this is where it belongs and Alex closes his mouth.

****

Alex comes out of the bathroom wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“The last time someone found out about us, they broke your hand with a hammer and started a war,” Alex says.

Michael softens and his lips quirk up.

“So it’s not being engaged to me?”

Alex picks the insecurity in his eyes and crosses the room. He’s sick at the thought of the world knowing but he’s dizzy with the notion he can be in front of Michael and take him in his arms. That they can be together. Still, after everything. He’s desperate to make the insecurity go away and the only way he can think to do that is to cup both of Michael’s cheeks and kiss him. Michael hums into the kiss and then goes silent as it turns hungry and passionate. He whimpers and Alex pulls back, waiting for him to open his eyes.

“Being engaged to you is the only thing that makes this worth it,” he swears.

“God, what are we doing?” Michael says helplessly and Alex presses his forehead to his.

“What we have to,” Alex says and Michael tenses, “and what we want to,” Alex tells him.

“Don’t be scared,” Michael says and Alex swallows, “I’m gonna be there with you the whole time,” Alex takes a deep breath, “also your dad only got to me because I was pretending to be human,” he points out.

“Also he’s dead,” Alex adds.

Michael shakes his head. Alex goes to pull back and Michael holds him. Alex can hear the unspoken plea for one more stolen moment and surrenders without a second thought. He kisses Michael on the mouth and pulls back just enough to whisper in the space between them.

“I love you,” He says. Michael inhales sharply and Alex continues, “I can’t say it to the world first. You don’t have to say—“

“I love you too,” Michael cuts in, Alex feels words rushing through him, “Alex,” he says his name and feels Alex tense, “I’ve loved you this whole time.”

Alex makes a noise and Michael pulls him closer, burying his face in Alex’s neck as they hold each other. For the first time since this all started, he doesn’t feel like a monster in a war. He feels like someone who lost something, who has a chance of getting it back. No, he feels like someone who did get it back. He’s spent years watching reunions, envious of those who got to have them. Now he gets it.

“We have to go,” Alex says regretfully and Michael shakes his head.

“I’m not used to we,” he admits.

“Me neither,” Alex replies and something cheeky comes into his eyes and he offers his arm, “shall we?”

“Remind me why we’re engaged again?” Michael says, taking his arm.

****

“So their biggest problem is that we’re both guys?” Michael demands, “that’s it?” He makes a noise of disgust, “What a bunch of morons.”

Alex is quiet and Michael frowns, lowering the tabloid in favor of looking at Alex who is laying with his head on Michael’s stomach. Deep in thought. Apparently talking about this isn’t going to tug him out of it so Michael searches for the thing that will.

“At least you look good in the pictures,” he says.

No response.

“Hey, remember when the biggest issue was that I was a low life?” He says. Alex’s brow furrows, “I guess now you gotta suffer through being with a—and I quote—‘genocidal maniac who likes to take it up the ass’,” he frowns, “I don’t get the correlation.”

“Ugh,” Alex says and grabs the tabloid, throwing it to the side.

“Not a fan?”

“I can’t believe we’re on all of them,” Alex finally says, breaking his silence, “people didn’t know I was—“ he waves a hand around. Michael tries not to be distracted by the coppery band.

“Gay?”

“In love with the guy I was fighting,” Alex says.

“Oh,” Michael grins, “right.”

“How are you smiling?” Alex questions, fully grumpy and Michael shrugs.

“I guess I’m still enamored with you saying that,” he admits.

Alex looks at him for a long moment before sighing and picking up the tabloid, adjusting his neck against Michael’s stomach. The picture is not one of the official, stiff portraits thank god. Rather it’s of them walking away from the press conference angled towards each other. Alex looks completely dignified and Michael has his head thrown back, laughing at something Alex has said. The next picture is of Alex standing in front of a plane and underneath it says they have the exclusive scoop of his torrid history of canoodling with the enemy.

“Your scandal would use the word canoodle,” Michael says taking the magazine back.

Alex turns and buries his face in Michael’s stomach with a groan.

“Can someone else have a scandal?” He pleas.

****

Three days later Max and Liz are caught by the paparazzi mid-smooch and he gets his wish.

****

“Antarian dances are not meant to have two men dancing them,” the man teaching them starts to protest.

“Well they are now, so let’s figure it out,” Michael says.

“General Rath,” he begins.

“God, look, okay there’s already a ton of scandal going on. So if you don’t want to teach then that’s fine,” Michael says, “but I feel like we already crossed the scandal bridge. It’s two dudes dancing together,” he continues, “the biggest problem is gonna be that everyone wants to dance with Alex, which I get, but as his fiancé the job falls to me.”

“There’s a lot of dipping,” the tutor says, “in this particular dance. Which you must preform,” he continues.

“Great, Alex you wanna dip or should I?” Michael asks.

Alex looks at him and at the tutor. The spotlight on him is wildly uncomfortable and every move that Michael tries to make to easier it only seems to make it worse. Finally Alex gets to his feet, walks over and immediately starts to lead them impeccably through the dance. The man has one foot and he’s about a thousand times better at this than Michael has ever been. Michael thinks he’d be more outraged if it wasn’t so hot. And just because Alex is, well, Alex, at the end of it he finds himself very firmly in a dip.

“Splendid!” The tutor claps his hands together, “simply splendid, you move very well General Manes,” he says.

Michael steals Alex out into the gardens when the lesson is done and they are very well into the massive hedge maze before he manages to relax, even just a little. But Alex is still quiet and Michael can feel the worry churning through him. Maybe this is too much. It wouldn’t be the first time it was. He looks at Alex but doesn’t try to get him to stop, finally sacrificing the pretense.

“Talk to me,” he says. When Alex opens his mouth, he looks at him and then closes it before opening it again.

“I’m not used to being in the spotlight,” Alex admits. Michael raises an eyebrow, Alex is every bit the hero he is, “because of who I love. I hid it,” he emphasizes, “I thought we would have time before—“

“We got engaged?”

“We caused a scandal,” Alex admits, “I was hoping to avoid the scandal.”

Michael manages to bite back his sarcastic remarks that even if all this had never happened they would still be pretty scandalous. Worry sparks in Alex’s eyes and Michael bites on his lower lip before getting in front of him and catching his hands with his own.

“We can talk about it,” he says. Alex sighs, “we can,” he stresses, “we should. Because this all will die down,” he reminds him, “look I’ll go first,” he says, “I hate the attention. But I like the world knowing we’re together,” he explains, “I like not having to hide it.”

“I was used to hiding it,” Alex admits, “I’m used to secrets,” he looks at him, “you were born for this. I wasn’t.”

“Yeah which means you earned it,” Michael stresses, “I just woke up here and they started calling me a General.”

Alex looks at him quietly before starting to walk again. Michael moves alongside him. They don’t always talk about the start of the war, about what happened while they were trying to kill each other. But Michael thinks they probably should. If they are having all these weird conversations.

“It must have been hard learning on the job,” Alex says.

“Yeah, since I’ve got no poker face,” Michael points out and Alex smiles.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” he murmurs.

Michael laughs as they wander through. Holding left hands, he can feel the band on Alex’s finger and if he moves his the right way, they can click together. The first few drops of rain startle Alex. The fact that startled means he grips Michael’s hand tighter means more to Michael than he has the words to say. Also the rain on Antar is purple. Alex sticks his other hand out and catches the drops, looking at them intently. They make their way back to his room where Alex has been spending most of his nights, since another advantage to the scandal is that them living together in sin is a small one. Comparatively. But that means that Michael gets to kiss Alex on his balcony in the purple rain.

“I hate the attention,” Alex says, “I wish you weren’t worth it.”

Michael laughs into the kiss and pulls Alex into the room, showing him exactly how worth it he is.

Neither of them sees the man waiting there until it’s too late.

***

“Alex! Hold on, just hold on!”

He’s floating, anchored only by Michael’s warmth. His lips are still swollen, that must be why it’s hard to breathe. It’s bright and he feels Michael kiss his hand before his warmth is gone. There’s hands on him, pulling open what he’s wearing and pressing onto his chest. The movements are quick and efficient and Alex doesn’t know why Michael is worried.

He’s floating.

“Michael! Oh my god, whose blood is that?!”

He hears Michael make a wounded noise and he tires to open his eyes but he can’t remember how.

Then the healing starts and he forgets everything altogether.

****

Michael’s top three mornings pale in comparison to the one where Alex wakes up.

One moment Michael is drinking coffee and eating toast under Liz’s death glare, the next he’s running to the bed as Alex stares up at him. He’s physical okay, Antar healing is unparalleled. But between being shot and stressed and sleep deprived, his body needs the break. He’s been asleep for the longest two days of Michael’s life. Alex blinks and frowns at him.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Michael shakes his head.

“You asshole,” he says, “I thought we talked about you throwing yourself in front of me.”

Alex frowns and looks down at his hand.

“Where’s my ring?”

“God,” Michael shakes his head and sits on the edge of the bed, pulling Alex’s ring off his finger where he’s been wearing it next to his own. He slides it on his hand and Alex relaxes, “no more taking hits for me,” he says.

“But I’m going to be your husband,” Alex says, tugging him down weakly, “I have to protect you.”

Michael goes and presses his face to Alex’s shoulder. He’s been listening to his heart and breathing for two days, reminding himself that Alex is still here. That between his powers and his screaming he was able to make sure Alex wasn’t dead. Alex saved him, saved them both, but he is never going back to his old rooms. They’re moving into new ones and he’s not letting Alex out of his sight.

“I think we should get married sooner,” Alex says.

“Not until you promise to never do that again,” Michael says.

Alex smiles.

****

He doesn’t promise.

They move the wedding up anyway.

****

“Get out! Get out get out get out!”

Michael and Alex’s favorite morning starts with getting yelled at.

Isobel is not amused considering the work she’s done to keep them apart. Not that it matters. They’ve managed to wind up in the same room, tangled together. Alex lifts his head as Michael groans and presses his forehead to his shoulder before turning over to his irate sister.

“You said no more scandals!”

“Iz, the only scandal is how loud you’re yelling,” he says, pushing himself up. Under the sheets, Alex’s hand doesn’t move from the small of his back, “it’s early!”

“You have to get ready,” she says, “we both know how long it takes to do your hair.”

“She’s right,” Alex says rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Don’t take her side, she’s just your sister in law. I’m going to be your husband!”

Alex softens at his outrage. Reminding each other they’re going to be married is the new I love you, though that’s still pretty great to hear. He’d marry Michael with his sleep rumpled curls and his old UFO emporium t-shirt, but he gets the need for this to go well from a public perspective. The problem is while he would, Michael looks like he has every intention of actually doing that. So Alex kneads his lower back and regretfully shifts away so he can get up, leaving Michael less than thrilled at this turn of events.

“Your hair—“

“I’ll telekinetically remove the water,” Michael argues, passing him coffee that Alex takes with a nod of thanks.

“We can’t be late,” he says finally. Michael rolls his eyes, “the faster we get this done the faster we’ll be married.”

Michael considers this as he spins the copper band around his finger. Alex looks to his still glaring soon to be sister in law and then back to his soon to be husband who shoves a hand through his hair and pushes his curls off his forehead. Family, Alex thinks, this is what a family is. His family. Michael stands up and stretches, tugging his stolen shirt and looking at Isobel.

“Guess we should get going, huh?” He says, dragging a hand through his hair and flashing Alex the kind of grin that makes him want to pull Michael back into bed, “see you later,” he says and steals a kiss from the corner of Alex’s mouth. Alex catches him, pulls him back and kisses him properly.

“See you soon.”

#michael guerin #alex manes #malex #malex fic #roswell new mexico #roswell nm fanfic #prompts #Michael x alex

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