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survivalove · 6 months

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Thinking about why I like Kataang so much

so a lot of my posts/asks lately have been about things I dislike so I decided to balance it out by talking about something I actually do like! ofc I immediately thought of kataang and started thing about why i like them so much compared to other couples in media I watched growing up.

first thing is, I don’t actually like romance in visual media. I much prefer it in books but having to actually watch it gives me the ick idk why. also when i first watched atla I was like 5, so the romance really had no appeal to me and I was super focused on katara and the other girls on the show because they were girls! i would completely block out the boys and all the ship scenes for years after that because my attitude to romance never really changed.

right up until I was about 11/12 and became aware of romance from hearing people my age start to talk about crushes, boyfriends/girlfriends, kissing etc. suddenly I had entered this phase in real life where romance was suddenly relevant among my peers and this made me start paying attention when it played out in the shows I was watching like Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, etc. this also included ATLA as my dad and I would rewatch it together on DVD throughout the year.

as I watched with my katara blinders, like I always do, for the first time I started to notice the boys in the show, particularly aang, (yes I finally started focusing on the main character after 6 years 😭) and certain interactions katara had with him that I never noticed before.

*dramatic pause*

and the way I consumed media would never be the same.

jk, but really tho.

fast forward to now, and I’ve recently started watching anime after consuming a bunch of western media my whole life from cartoons and disney shows to contemporary literature and Y/A movies/TV shows. and one thing that stands out to me with kataang compared to most of the romance i see in shonen animes (one of atla’s biggest inspiration as a TV show) is the way katara and aang develop in a way that is realistic, yet too good to be true.

let me elaborate:

starting from the very first episode, katara and aang have that classic meet-cute interaction. the music is playing, their eyes are widening, aang’s acting like he’s never seen a girl before and katara is impressed by literally every single thing he does. this is pretty much how every ship is set up, anime or otherwise, and kanna basically spells out their imminent connection when she sends katara and sokka off and sokka even explicitly says the word boyfriend seconds before that. obviously, these two characters are gonna get together at some point and it’s just a matter of when.

this is where it gets more than that:

the more katara and aang spend time together, the more they start to get on each other’s nerves.

I’m sure everyone’s had a crush at some point, where you see someone for the first time and go “oh they’re so cute” and you feel the butterflies blah blah. you either fantasize about them for a while and move on, or you pursue the crush and start to actively make moves to get to know them better.

and as you get to know them, you notice some things about them that kinda piss you off. the way they pick their nose, the way they bounce their knee, the way they chew. it’s always something. it can even affect friendships because that’s life. we are humans, not concepts. no one is perfect, there is nobody on this planet that you will 100% agree with or like about them. it just doesn’t work like that. and for some relationships, there is that one irritating thing about them that breaks the camel’s back and it doesn’t work out. you learn what annoys you and move on to the next relationship. or you have the lucky ones who actually stay together and the relationship continues to blossom as you get to know each other better.

similarly, kataang in the beginning are completely enamored with the other. until they’re not. throughout season 1, we see katara becoming more and more disillusioned with aang going from “aang’s so brave. he’s the avatar!” to realizing he’s just a boy with insecurities and flaws just like her. some of which get on her nerves BAD. similarly, aang goes from trying to impress katara and going along with every single plan she has, to disagreeing with her and even getting annoyed by her as the seasons go on.

despite this, it doesn’t stop that thing they have for each other from growing and flourishing. that is the magic part. watching two characters fall in love as they continue to annoy and irritate each other more and more. the more katara and aang butt heads throughout the seasons, the more and more unambiguous their romantic interactions become.

aang bluntly telling katara she’s not funny like he didn’t just ask her to dance with him in a candlelit cave in front of dozens of people a few days ago? katara constantly getting annoyed at aang’s antics to turn around and ask him for his opinion on the way she looks or kiss him on the cheek? right.

this is what makes them stand out from other fictional couples I’ve seen, where the girl and guy’s opinion on the other never changes significantly from that first interaction they have. one person, usually the girl because of course, worships the ground our main character walks on, meanwhile he seems to barely notice her apart from that first scene where she looked pretty and his jaw dropped or something. and even if they do interact a lot, their dynamic hardly evolves from that initial setup. they never get upset with each other or at the least, visibly annoyed. their dynamic is static, stagnant, mostly affected by major events in the plot rather than personal characteristics and minor misgivings the characters may have.

there’s no juice. it’s stale. and for me, very unrealistic.

I was watching this video about writing couples in media and one comment stood out to me in particular:

What you said about charm is so true. Entertaining chemistry to watch ≠ chemistry that pairs people together. A lot of sitcoms try to pair opposites romantically or as best friends, because opposites are good for comedy and conflict, but I find myself not understanding why they’re so into each other.

instantly i was reminded of the way people call kataang vanilla/boring, in favor of pairings that are far less similar. and while katara and aang do fight a lot, fundamentally they are very similar which is why they are so believable and realistic. I love watching them slowly become disillusioned with the idealized version of each other they had in the first episode to seeing all the ways they manage to piss each other off, and still being drawn by that initial mutual attraction.

katara learns the hard way that aang isn’t the infallible savior from her grandma’s stories, but she never stops believing in him. aang comes to discover katara’s flaws and conflicting opinions, but he still encourages her belief in hope, affirms her as a waterbender/healer and yes still calls her beautiful every chance he gets.

and what I love about this, is, it gives them reasons to fall in love that go beyond the superficial reasons that drew them towards each other in the first place.

they don’t fall in love with each other in spite of those little minor flaws, but because of them.

katara doesn’t love aang because he’s the avatar. she loves him because he is the goofy fun boy that allowed her to be a kid while taking up this heavy responsibility. aang doesn’t love katara because she’s beautiful. he falls in love witnessing those moments of her being determined, speak up for herself and others, and even going to great lengths to inspire hope in everyone she meets.

#atla #kataang #katara #aang #whoa this is long #my bad #too tired to add pics lol

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graciegoeskrazy · 6 months

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Healy!reader’s relationship to the boys

george - as mentioned previously, george is the official-unofficial godfather. (official because matty deemed him that, and unofficial because your father is an atheist) your dad also always puts him down as your 2nd emergency contact - him being first of course. He was one of the first people to hold you when you were born and was looking forward to life with his new little buddy. He always called you “bubs” and when you were a baby and first started to babble, you tried to say it back and eventually kept saying “bubba” instead and kept pointing at him whenever you said it or tried to get his attention. from then on he was bubba to you and he loved that he had a nickname. you call him whenever you're in some sort of trouble that you don’t want your dad finding out about. You had him pick you up from a party and admitted to him you tried drugs but swore immediately that you’d never do it again. He was like “Bubs, what the hell?!” and you said “I know, Bubba. I know, I’ll never do it again!” and he said “No not doing drugs- doing drugs without me! Next time you feel like having fun, you call your uncle George and let him get you something. I need to make sure you're not getting worse stuff on the streets or someone is trying to rip you off!” you we’re like uh okay cool but no thanks. your dad was pissed when he found out. Not at you ofc - he was happy you were out and about being a teenager. he was pissed at george for the encouragement and that he didn’t tell him.

Adam - your dad likes to joke that you started having conversations with people that moment you were born. you would always make these noises. Eventually your dad could differentiate them and he would be able to tell if you were hungry, or tired or whatever. You tried to call people by their names before you could really speak. Again- they were just like sounds. Adam became “adi” and that’s all you’ve called him since. usually nowadays it’s “uncle adi” or something of the sort. he was set on you being a musician from the very start. he gave you your very first guitar lesson at the ripe age of 3 which was basically just him playing guitar to whatever song was blasting and you strumming along on your hannah montana mini guitar that bubba got you for christmas without playing any actual chords or holding any rhythm. He’s the uncle you spill all the tea to first. He knows who everyone in your school is because you two always shit talk about the bitches in your school and gossip about whatever taylor swift was doing that day. “So she called me literally CRYING that her friend canceled on her and i was like ‘gurl don’t worry we can go out together tmr’ and so we made plans for the next day” and he’s just like “uh huh” and just nodding on and on “but THEN she cancels our plans the very next day and was like ‘oh i have a family event’ but then a check her instagram story AND SHES OUT WITH ALL OUR FRIENDS WITHOUT ME!” and he matches your energy and is like “WHAT A BITCH!” he loves you very very dearly and would drop everything in a second to be wherever you needed him.

ross - When you were little and started speaking little words you would point at ross and just say “tall” which always made everyone laugh. It eventually turned into “tallie” (t - ah - lee) the vowels never made sense to the boys but they just chalked it up to you being a baby of a britt being raised in america. he’s the most ‘uncle like’ (?) like he’s always making sure you do your homework and makes sure you're home at a certain time and shit. all 3 are overprotective as FUCK but ross definitely takes the cake for most over protective. he’s like “be back my 10” and you’d always fight him and be like “10!?! cmon! midnight man!” and he sticks his ground. “no way.” “what about 11:30?” “it’s about to be 9 if you keep it up…” “fine i’ll be back by 10.” - you, accepting your defeat.

#x daughter!reader #x neice!reader #matty healy x daughter!reader #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #matty the 1975 #matty healy #george daniel #adam hann #ross macdonald #the 1975

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b0nes-mcgee · 6 months

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It’s time for music headcanons with the batfam, bc if I don’t get this out of my head and onto page, I’m going to implode.

Fave first, Dick is definitely a indie pop/indie rock kinda boy. Not just because I identify with that, but also bc he gives me those overly energetic, bubbly vibes, that I feel like only come from Grouplove, Vampire Weekend, and Adam Melchor. I also feel like he’s a Mitski and Boygenius kinda bitch, bc ough, boY, he has angst. Said angst can only be expressed through sad girl music, bc he will die before he ever expresses his feelings about anything to anyone.

NEXT we have Jason, I think he’s an emo ass boy, ngl, but specifically like folk punk. He listened to twin sized mattress one time, broke down crying, and hasn’t looked back. Also things like The Mountain Goats, PUP, or Modern Baseball. Ugh, I could make a whole ass playlist for this boy. If he’s with other ppl, I think he’d play something more mainstream of the emo genres, like Arctic Monkeys or The Strokes.

DAMIAN, I THINK, IS COMPLICATED. So, for one thing, he grew up in a weirdo environment, where they probably never listened to music, and if they did, it was “”tasteful”” music, for rich ppl. That, or it was culturally significant. So, I think I’m his exposure to music after moving in with Bruce, he started just absorbing absolutely all the music he could. Like, he’s an everything enjoyer. His spotify liked songs are a minefield, bc one second it’ll be playing Chet Baker, next it’s Viagra Boys, then some country shit, then Chopin, and then it’s Lil Nas X.

BABS, I think, would be a folk music/sad girl music enthusiast. She really likes Ryan Adams, Phoebe Bridgers, Hoizer, Mitski, etc. It’s something that she and Dick bonded over when they first started dating. I think with her, she appreciates the calm/slightly sad music bc she lives in a rlly crazy world, and she just wants to meditate a little when she’s sitting at that desk all day, trying to keep her family and friends alive.

Timmyyyyyy is a Kpop enjoyer. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Specifically, he probably likes SEVENTEEN or ATEEZ a lot. He actively tries, every day of his life, to not stan any of the members, but it’s rlly hard when he’s had two hours of sleep in the past week, and Yoon was just really cute in that last interview. I also think he’s really into trap and pop. He knows all the lyrics to every recent song on the top 100 list.

Duke, I think is really into R&B. I think he’s amenable to pop/rock/rap, etc., but he really just wants something to belt out. Common occurrences are finding him in the kitchen, making an omelette, singing Amy Winehouse at the top of his lungs. If u catch him doing it tho, he gets rlly shy. His guilty pleasure is theatre music. He has to bribe his family to go see Little Shop of Horrors with him.

Stephanie has a 2000s-2010s pop addiction. Anything that makes her feel like Hannah Montana is her SHIT. She’s out here blasting Bubblegum Bitch and early Taylor Swift. You also can and will find her crying to sad One Direction songs. When she’s moody, she will unironically play My Chemical Romance. She understands pop punk a lil bit, but the lyrics tend to get male-manipulator-y, so she sticks with the bands she already knows.

Alfred likes 50s/60s jazz/pop. Frank Sinatra, Chet Baker, etc. It reminds him of home, and of his family. He also really likes old French music, like Joe Dassin. I’m ngl, I don’t know old music enough to add more to this one, but u get the idea 😭

BRUCE. Ugh. He’s definitely the kind of dad who never moved past the music of his childhood. He firmly believes that the Beatles is the best band of all time, and no one can convince him otherwise. I think he tends to gravitate towards the rock/goth end of 70s/80s music, so things like the Cure, New Order, maybe a lil bit of Siouxsie and the Banshees. His goth phase was INTENSE, Alfred can attest to this.

Edit: HOLY SHIT I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT CASS 😭😭😭

Ok, Cass is defo a similar situation to Damian, grew up with literally silence, so music is a super new thing to her. But I think she really enjoys all kinds of genres. I think that especially instrumentals get her, bc it’s just noises that she can focus on, no lyrics to distract her from the sound. I think she also likes to “sing” along to said instrumentals, but mostly it’s just making noises to the same beat and sound, but it’s very off-key.

#dc #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #tim drake #barbra gordon #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth #batfamily #batfam #batfam headcanons #headcanon #music headcanons #batfam music headcanons #cassandra cain

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crazyplrpsexyman · 1 year

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Gentlemen I present to you…

Our main cast: Voting starts tomorro

In the left ring we have!:

@evilbillhawks - master of UwU and making me want to have an aneurism

@clairefoley - Wants Bill Hawks off her ghostly dashboard and the kids

@akihirohinoceooflevel5 - lied about McDonald’s and left Kat at Walmart (last minute switch out with grosky)

@henry-led0re - Doesn’t know where he is, but he sure is having a lot of fun playing Hannah Montana and Mario Kart

@billhawks - … don’t vote him

@randall-bratscot - let Katrielle leave containment (Walmart) and now god (famed inventor of the happy meal) himself is after him

@inspector-alfendi-layton - isn’t going to win!

@layton-heritage-posts - The first heritage blog to be turned into a catboy, having a heritagsona, and be able to be voted for in a sexyman tournament

In the right ring!:

@floorareinhold - She’s relevant in my heart, and has the biggest head of the low quality chart

@definitely-future-luke - Went to Gregg’s with Gregglover and bill hawks, but didn’t invite the big naturals smh

@the-donpaolo - is planning on sabotaging the tournament, I’m watching you 👀 (also I’m down to commit crime too)

@dralainstahngun - mr not Dimitri Allen has still not found somebody to be his test subject

@carolinehawks - getting it with the big naturals because Gregg’s took everything away from her

@barton-of-the-yard - KNOWS that lying about happy meals are one of the most despicable crimes you can commit

@professor-layton-yaoi - May not win it he divorce (even his kids don’t want him) but he may win sexiest blog

@jean-transcole - his poor guy his dad was a slut and now he has like 15 brothers, at least he has his amongus chuck nuggie- oh wait

@greggslover - Need I say more this is the most iconic Layton character. Lost a last minute flash round and at the last second got revived!

Oh and for all of the other blogs that will lose round 1 and 2o… I have a surprise for you later

#crazy pl rp sexyman tournament #Btw no more last minute switchouts

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xhoneygirlxx · 8 months

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i just know for a fact Eddie doesn’t know any celebrity names but he knows the most random shit.

i’m just picturing husband or dad! Eddie, somewhere around 30s/40s in age.

you guys are in the car and maybe the basic radio is playing or you’re hooked up to the bluetooth, either way there’s music playing.

Dua Lipa’s ‘Dance the Night Away’ comes on and even though you’re paying more attention to the cars that pass by, a thought pops in your head.

“Baby,” you turn to him, “do you know who sings this?”

For a second he just listens and you can see the gears turning in his head like he’s trying hard to figure who’s voice is coming through the speakers.

“Yeah, it’s Jen Montana.” Eddie says it with so much confidence, smiling brightly that he could remember.

When you correct him and tell him the actual name, he proceeds to tell you that Jen Montana is a real person and she was a very famous popstar. He clearly meant Hannah Montana.

Another time you guys are in your living room sprawled out on the couch, lazing about. Deciding that you had enough phone time, you asks if he wants to watch a movie and he quickly agrees, saying there’s on he really wanted to watch.

Leaving your spot on the comfy sofa, you pad to the kitchen to make some popcorn. When you return Eddie’s got his Ipad in his hand, glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, tapping away on the screen clearly looking for something.

“I thought we were watchin movie, baby.” You say and he turns his head up at you, tongue still poked out from when he was concentrating.

“We are! I just couldn’t remember the name of the movie I wanted to watch s’all.”

“Well just tell me the actor or actress and i’ll use the remote to look it up.” Sitting back down in your spot, you place the bowl on popcorn between the two of you.

“It’s that one with Sofia Mascara girl.” popping a handful of popcorn in his mouth, he stares straight ahead at the tv like a small child, excited and ready to watch something.

You’re lost, completely and 100% lost. Who the fuck was he talking about because that clearly wasn’t a person. You’re still staring at him like he has five heads, trying to work every part of your brain to understand who he meant. Turning his curly haired head back to you, his eyebrows furrow at your expression.

“What’s wrong?” It’s almost annoying how unaware he is sometimes.

“Eds, that’s not a person.” you try to say it calmly, not wanting to get upset over something this stupid.

“Yes it is, babe! She’s the girl in that one movie! Remember?” He rolls his eyes at you, like you’re the one who said something ridiculous.

“That narrows it down to like, a thousand people.” You deadpan and he huffs.

“The one movie when she’s like screaming and her boyfriend where a bear costume!”

“That’s fucking Florence Pugh, Edward! Not Sofia Mascara!” He laughs at how angry you get and it makes you even angrier.

“Yeah, yeah, same difference.”

It boggles your mind how he can’t remember a single celebrity’s name, but he can remember things that no one else does.

The two of you are laid out in bed, the darkness taking over the space. You’re eyes grow heavier, sleep about to take over your body.

“Do you ever think about what Aron Ralston is doing?” Eddie’s voice is thick with sleepiness.

“Who?” Your lips are smooshed against the cushion of your pillow, causing your words to sound muffled.

“The guy that chopped off his arm when he got stuck in the Grand Canyon! They made that movie with the Green Goblin’s son.” You don’t have to open your eyes to know he’s looking at you in a strange way for not knowing the man’s name.

Either way, you’re too tired to argue or even indulge in this conversation.

“No, I don’t think about what he’s doing during his day.”

“Maybe you should, dude almost died ya know.” He says to you and you almost want to stop talking.

“Okay, well I’ll send him an apology in the morning for not thinking about his daily routine. Can we go to sleep now?”

So yeah, Eddie doesn’t know mainstream artists and actors names but he can tell you any random fact you wanna know.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson headcanons

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jupiter-soups · 9 months

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summer camp sadness

synopsis: when it’s Sarah's first time away from home for overnight summer camp, Joel is unprepared for the wave of emotions that overtake him.

tags: fluff, single dad!joel, no outbreak!au, joel just generally needing consolation that sarah is still his baby girl

word count: 2.3k

a/n: this was written for the pedro pascal cinematic universe discord server fest!!!! please feel free to join in and write something too, or just join the server and have a good time as we talk about all of our favourite dilfs!! link: https://discord.gg/2SBkmdbp

anyways, this is just a cute little oneshot because i just know that Joel would be struggling with his little girl growing up. also this is set in like 2010-ish? they’re the same ages as the show, i just wanted to make a 2009 reference lol. enjoy!!!!!

“And you have Uncle Tommy’s number written down too?” He asks for easily the thirteenth time since they had begun the four hour journey to Camp Yaupon, while fussing with the zip on his daughter’s baby blue puffer jacket as she stands in front of him.

The curly-haired girl lets out a drawn out groan in response, shifting a few steps back to get out of his nervous grip, “Yes, dad, I have his number, I have your number, I have the neighbor’s number, please, can I just go? Before everyone else makes friends without me?” She’s practically bouncing where she stands from the nervous energy, beyond eager to head in and begin the next three weeks of soccer, crafts, and female friendship.

He loosens his grip on her jacket and nods solemnly, clearly running through a mental list of questions to find any reason to extend this goodbye. When he comes up empty, he grabs her and pulls her into a huge bear hug, practically lifting the girl from the ground in his embrace.

“Dadddddddd,” She groans, trying to pull away with a sheepish, embarrassed expression, as if she was praying that the other girls didn’t see this moment of affection. He had explicitly promised that he would be cool when they got there. She should have known better when he began to tear up as her Hannah Montana: The Movie soundtrack CD began to play ‘Butterfly Fly Away,’. “I need to gooooooooo, it’s fineeeeeee” She drags out, awkwardly patting him on the back.

With her embarrassed tone, he finally pulls away with a small sniff, and rubs his hand across his face as if he was merely affected by hayfever from being parked out near the woods.

“Sorry, darlin’,” He chuckles awkwardly to play off his emotional outburst, “Of course it’ll be fine, just…you’ll be so far away, is all.” The girl’s eyes widen in panic as she spots the redness in his eyes and realises that it is very likely that he is about to start up again. She chooses to pat him on the arm a few times with a warning look, as if to say ‘get it together, old man.’

“Alright, alright. I get it. You have fun now, sweetie. Call me before bed, okay?”

He watches as she scampers off before she pauses briefly, trying to decide which group of teen girls she should approach. He swallows dryly, trying to fight the pinching in his eyes as the sinking feeling that he was really about to be without her for three whole weeks began to swallow him up again.

You stood a good dozen feet away from him with your own daughter, Ellie, who was rolling her eyes at you. “Come on, Els, if you don’t put it on I can’t let you go and get settled. It’s a four hour drive back, just let me go home already.” You insist, doing your best puppy dog eyes as you hold out the bottle of sunscreen at her.

“Fine,” She gives in, snatching the bottle with an overexaggerated glare that makes you giggle at her fake misery. She begins to slather it onto her face, making noises of disgust at the scent, before complaining “Y’know the second you go home, this bottle is going straight in the trash, right?”

“Ellie. Humor me, just this once,” You say, deadpan, causing the girl to snicker.

“I apologise, mother, I shall be sure to apply the sunscreen diligently every six hours, as per your wishes,” She says in a fake English accent, grinning at the way your eyes narrow in displeasure.

“I’m sure it’ll be real funny when I never come and pick you up,” You say, dead serious, before breaking to swipe off a remnant stripe of white sunscreen from the side of her cheek.

“Come here,” You give her a quick hug, knowing not to overdo it and embarrass her. “You’re gonna be careful, and call me if anything bad happens, right?” You press a small kiss to her forehead, immediately making a disgusted face at the remnants of sunscreen, something that Ellie notices and cackles at.

As Ellie skips away to the friend that waves at her with their full body, you watch with a smile, trying to will away the tears that threaten to fall. This wasn’t new for you, but it was still a strange feeling, knowing that your girl wouldn’t be waiting for you at home. From the corner of your eye, you spot a similar scene unfold.

A man, watching his daughter leave, with that very familiar look of sheer panic marring his pretty face. You had been there before. You approach him carefully, noting the way his fists were clenching and unclenching by his sides in some sort of attempt at containing his emotions.

You cough slightly to make him aware of your location, feeling sort of guilty at the way he was caught off guard, flinching at your presence. “First time?” You ask, a small comforting smile adorning your lips.

He lets out a slightly pained huff of a laugh, looking back at where his daughter was now sitting at the picnic table, “That obvious, huh.” His voice is small at this moment, before he suddenly seems to snap out of it and clears his throat. He stands up straighter and rubs a hand on the nape of his neck, trying to laugh it off more convincingly this time. The way his eyelashes were slightly wet gave him away.

“Guess I’ll get used to it.” He says resolutely, as if he was willing it to be true. He sticks out a large hand as he introduces himself, and you take it, shaking it twice. “Joel Miller, Sarah’s dad.” He pauses before remembering, “Oh, uh- That’s Sarah.” He gestures over to the cute tween girl now animatedly talking to your own daughter. You grin at the sight.

“Oh, I am so sorry. She seems to have met my spawn, Ellie. That’s her over there,” You point at the girl who had somehow stood on the table in the two seconds it took for you to point her out. His genuine laugh warms you, and it takes you a second to remember to introduce yourself. He squints slightly as you say your name.

“Anderson Middle School, down in Austin?” He questions to your surprise.

“Uh- yeah. Ellie’s just left their eighth grade class. Have we met before?”

“No, not really. I just-uh. Think I’ve seen you before, at a PTA event. You were complaining about the girls soccer team getting their budget cut, if I remember correctly.”

“Yes, that was me!” You confirm, “It did fuck all to help, but Ellie was proud of me for telling the superintendent to go to hell. So, that was nice. Did get banned from any and all following meetings, though.” You grimace at the awkward memory.

He chuckles, and you both fall into a comfortable silence watching your kids laugh with each other. Ellie was now sitting cross legged on top of the table, and Sarah must have been telling her a joke given how you could hear their laughter all the way where you were standing.

As the bell begins to clang, indicating that it was time for the campers to head on inside and that parents could finally head home, you notice Joel tense up beside you. A glance to your left proved that your suspicion that he was not handling this well was correct, as you saw the way redness was rising up his neck and into his face. He chews on his lips as he watches the girls pass through the cabin doors, finally out of his eyesight.

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” You can’t help yourself from comforting him, feeling the pain that you felt just last year when it had been Ellie’s turn to stay at an overnight camp for the first time. His bashful expression as he looked up at you with tears forming in his eyes melted your heart and you pressed a gentle hand against his firm shoulder, rubbing comforting circles.

“I promise, it’ll get easier. Last year, I was so scared to be all alone in that empty house without my Els, but it’s not too bad. Especially once you remember how nice it is to be able to day drink.” You joke, trying to lift his mood.

He chuckles once, and tries to straighten himself up, squaring his shoulders and turning his head away from you to wipe at his eyes quickly before turning back. “Just goin’ to be weird. So used to her yapping on about her little boy bands. Three whole weeks without her,” He trails off and lets out an exhausted sigh, “Goin’ to be weird.” He repeats to himself quietly.

“Single dad?” You ask, recognising that bitter fear of loneliness that you yourself had experienced many times in the process of raising a daughter on your own. He nods slowly, and turns to face you, seeming to finally have given up staring at the door that Sarah disappeared through.

“Jus’ been me and her, goin’ on eleven years now.” He confirms, seeming to have slightly pulled himself together. He sort of looks you up and down for a second, before asking “What about you? Single?” He hesitates before stuttering out, “Single mom, I mean.”

“Yep, just me and Ellie since she was four.” It’s in this moment that you realise you're still holding on to his shoulder absentmindedly, and you quickly withdraw your hand to your side. God, his shoulders were broad and firm. His face did seem a little brighter, too, and it looked good on him.

“I know it can be hard to deal with when they first start to have a little independence, but there’s good to it as well. You get to have a little independence, too. And, I can say from experience that she’s not suddenly going to stop needing you. She’ll probably be on the phone to you before you know it.”

“You’re right, I know. It’s just,-” He sighs, his slightly defeated tone still persevering in a way that told you that he had been wallowing in this for a while, “How can you know that? That she’ll still need me or want to call me. What if I go home, and she’s having so much fun that I don’t hear from her for the entire three weeks,”

You gesture to the ground beside him, to a pink backpack you noticed just a moment before, “Well, for starters, she’ll need to call you when she realises that she forgot that. Unless you’re the Hello Kitty fan in the family?” You tease gently, unable to hold back your laugh at the exasperated look on his face at his daughter's forgetfulness. Ah, the duality of being a parent.

“God damnit, Sarah,” He frowns as he picks up the backpack, shaking his head in disbelief. “She would forget her own head if it wasn’t attached to her neck.”

“See? She needs you.” You affirm, giving him an encouraging nod.

He chuckles, and the lingering sadness in his eyes seems to dissipate at the realisation that you were right. “Thank you,” he murmurs quietly, reaching out to give your forearm an appreciative squeeze. The sensation made heat rise to your face, and so you’re grateful when he turns around and begins to jog up to the cabin.

You watch for a moment, before turning around yourself and heading to your car. As much as you wanted to stay and talk to Joel, it was probably best to start the long drive back without letting yourself linger in the way his smile made you feel.

As you take your seat behind the steering wheel and begin to buckle yourself in, you think about how the handsome man looked you up and down, letting his eyes linger for a second too long on your body before they returned to your face. Tapping your fingernails against the steering wheel for a couple of minutes, you considered if maybe you should have hung back for just a moment longer, before deciding that you were probably overthinking things.

You practically jump out of your skin at the urgent rapping of knuckles against the car window next to you. You see Joel standing there, chest slightly heaving as if he was out of breath. The window squeaks as you roll it down to face him while he leans down to speak to you once more.

“Sorry, I-uh,” He swallows nervously, and takes a second to catch his breath, “I didn’t realise that you went back to your car– I just. Would it be alright if I got your number?” He asks in a rush, holding out a beat up old blackberry that had its battery duct taped in.

He must have sensed your confusion as he quickly continues, “It’s just. What you said, about independence. Maybe I should make the most of some time alone. Maybe…I don’t know, I could take you out, or somethin’” The way he shifted his weight nervously despite the casual words he used made you want to giggle at his expense.

“Really? You’re not going to be too busy moping around?” You tease, despite taking the phone from his hand and beginning to type in your own number.

He laughs sort of breathlessly, relief tinging his words as he explains “The second I walked in there she ran over and gave me a big hug. Said she missed me already.” He didn’t bother fighting the grin on his face, “Couldn’ bring myself to tell her off for forgetting her bag.”

You laugh as you pass his phone back to him, heart beating faster as your fingertips brushed in the exchange of the device.

“I’ll be fine,” He says, tone sure and even, as he looks at your number with a soft smile. “Really.”

a/n: again, this is for the pedro pascal cinematic universe discord server! please join if you want to :) we're nice, i swear!!

also, PLEASEEEE let me know what you think! posting is so nervewracking!!!

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #no outbreak!joel miller #singledad!joelmiller #PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I'M SO NERVOUS #joel x reader #joel miller x you

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the-babygirl-polls · 4 months

Text

Damian Tenma - Ace Attorney

Propaganda:

LISTEN. Listen. He's so fucking funny to me. He pretended to be possessed by a demon to protect his daughter from being wrongly convicted of murder (one of the best dads in the series, which admittedly isn't really saying much but still). He's like Hannah Montana if you replace being a high school girl with being a mayor and replace being a pop star with a professional wrestler, AND if the two personas fucking hated each other. Literally uses his wrestler persona to oppose policy he's being blackmailed into passing. I got him posted to that old your fav is unfuckable blog as fuckable solely because one of the mods agreed it would be funny. Both characters in the image are him. He's the reason a friend got mad at me for explaining to another friend what DILF means. Constantly rotating him in my mind.

#the babygirl polls #week two #damian tenma #ace attorney #contains propaganda

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floydsmuse · 4 months

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Meggy m'dear......the thoughts/thots have returned.......and this time it's with Rhett (lol).

So we've seen how Calvin and Miles are with their beloved wifey when the little ones begin putting in appearance, but what about Rhett?? (lol, Bob is soon to come and so aren't Harrison and Major Major so be on the lookout.

Rhett would be over the moon when you tell him you're pregnant. He'd probably be worried from all the bull riding fiascos whether or not you could conceive after you guys adopted Amy, but when you tell him you're pregnant, he'd be yelling out the open window, "IT WORKS!!!! MY GOD IT STILL WORKS!!!!! MA BALLS AND MA DICK STILL WORK!!!" Of course, Royal and Cecelia would be absolutely thrilled but I guarantee you that Royal would be yelling right back at him, "Son, I'm happy as hell for ya, but we don't need to hear ya'll shoutin to high heaven about your junk at two in the morning!!" (lol).

Rhett's always rubbing his face against your belly even though you're not showing yet and you can't help but be tickled by his sandpaper cheeks. The morning sickness isn't too bad but when it does hit, the first thing Rhett does is grab a Gatorade from the fridge before coming to help you.

"Baby, I'm so sorry you have to see me like this."

"Darlin it ain't no big deal," he assures you. "Besides, when we were in college and ya'll came to our frat house for a Friday night rager, ya'll held everybody and their mother's hair while they puked. This ain't nothin."

Speaking of which, you guys end up telling many of his buddies who were in the Delta Tau Epsilon Frat with Rhett (Rhett was president and you were first lady when you all were attending college up in Montana, lol) and who stuck by him all the way after college including Rip, Kayce and Wes. All of them freaked out and were excited that they and their wives were gonna be aunties and uncles.

Amy is double excited that she's gonna be a big sister and so isn't your oldest daughter Hannah even though she's only two. Rhett, Royal and the other guys are always hard at work in the woodshed making the furniture for the nursery, but you and Rhett both got a little teary eyed when Royal had brought down an old timberframe crib from the attic which used to belong to Rhett.

You soon find out that you're expecting not one but TWO little babies and they're both boys!!!! You guys were excited beyond words and so weren't Royal and Cecelia but Royal couldn't stop laughing.

"Dad? The hell are ya'll laughin at?" Rhett asked him.

"Your ma and I knew ya'll were trouble the minute you flashed your lil dinger at us," Royal laughed. "You're gonna have your hands full with two of'em Rhett, just sayin."

Rhett literally would not be able to keep his hands off you either. You thought he was horny when you were trying? You ain't seen nothin yet (lol). He'll come up to you in the morning and rub his hard-on against the back of your thigh and at night when you're in your loose sexy bedslip, he'll try and sneak a playful little nibble at your boobs.

Right around month six, Rhett gets an idea in his head to take some pics of you to keep in a personal photo album of his. His favorite is one of you standing near the horse pasture in your favorite summer dress, wearing his cowboy hat and the horse is nudging your belly. His other favorite is a black and white photo of you with the girls and their little hands are all over your bump along with one of you walking barefoot through the back garden.

As the months roll on, it gets a little harder for you to be on your feet. Rhett is the master of the foot, back and neck massage and will gladly rub your swollen feet with cinnamon, ginger and clove oil you keep in the medicine kit. He'll even run you a bath and help you wash and loves running the washcloth over all your curves. He'll even help you put your socks and shoes on as fall turns to winter and will also pick you up from work because he doesn't want you traveling those icy, snowy roads to get home.

It's finally the last month and the doc tells you that everything looks good and your best bet will probably be to have the babies at home since the closest hospital is well over forty five minutes away (lol). Luckily for you, Cecelia comes from a long line of female midwives (her own mother even delivered Rhett the night he was born and Cecelia did the same for Hannah) and offered to deliver the boys.

During a snowy blizzard, Tatum Royal and Tanner James Abbott are both born at the house. Royal is both shocked and happy to learn that one of his grandsons was named after him. They're the tiniest little babies you've ever seen, both snuggled in their blankies and nested in the timberframe crib at the foot at the bed.

You absolutely love how soft your family members are with them. You laugh when you overhear Cecelia snuggling one of them, telling them that they're gonna get all the girls just like their daddy used to (lol). Sometimes you catch Royal singing to the boys and you and Rhett both swear he sounds like Johnny Cash (he even sang "The Wanderer" which Johnny Cash sang with U2 and it put the both of them right to sleep). You let Amy and Hannah hold the both of them and you bet everybody's taking pictures of the girls holding their brothers.

But you absolutely love when Rhett holds one or both of them at the same time. When he's doing skin-to-skin with the boys, he'll have them nested in Amy's Peter Rabbit quilt and when he brings the babies to meet the animals for the first time he does wear a baby wrap made from an old flannel shirt (lol).

Meggy there will definitely be more of this to come, I can't wait to share this little thing about Lew's other characters (lol).

Welcome back my darling! YAY i can’t wait to read these thoughts/thots you sent in for Rhett! 🥰 im also looking forward to the ones you’re going to send in for Bobby, Harrison, & Major Major too :))

~ YES !! Rhett would be super giddy & excited when he finds out you’re pregnant! i could even picture him getting emotional over the fact 🥹 because like you mentioned of course, with Rhett’s years of bull riding you both were unsure if it were even possible!

“IT WORKS!!!! MY GOD IT STILL WORKS!!!!! MA BALLS AND MA DICK STILL WORK!!!"

MARY!! this is SENDING MEEE😂 i could seriously picture Rhett saying this & i actually read it in his voice too. omg Royals response back!!! pleaseee😭 i’m dying over here just thinking about this!!

~ aww :,) Rhett rubbing his face on your belly is just sooo! i could also see him talking to your belly too! he’s so in love with the baby, even when they haven’t been born yet🥹 he’s constantly gushing on & on about how excited he is to be a dad to anyone who will listen to him hehe! AWEEE! it wouldn’t even phase Rhett to see you in your morning sickness states. he would love you no matter what & find you absolutely breathtaking throughout all of your stages of pregnancy! even when you’re feeling self-conscious, Rhett is always there to pick you up & shower you with so much love & little praises :,)

~ just the thought of Amy being a big sister is so so sweet! i love the guys making furniture for the baby out of wood for the nursery! it’s so much more personal that way. aww Rhett’s crib being passed down to baby🥹 Mary! please this is the cutest thing ever & the fact that Rhett gets all teary eyed cause of it!! i cannot right now :,) ughh i love this idea soo much!

TWINS?! both boys?! oh man, wifey is gonna have her hands full! Rhett was already enough, but bring in two more mini Rhett’s & you got yourself a crazy but fun time ! haha!

"Your ma and I knew ya'll were trouble the minute you flashed your lil dinger at us.”

~ HELP!!! this is such a Royal thing to say😂 like !! im rolling on the floor at this! OMG YES!!! YES!! Rhett would be especially touchy feely with you at all times during your pregnancy! him rubbing his hard on onto the back of your thigh in the mornings & sneaking little nibbles onto your nipple at night before bed…😵‍💫 MARY ARE YOU TRYING TO END ME HERE ?! THATS SO HOT!!! the pictures !!! yes! that couldn’t be more perfect! Rhett would absolutely make you do a little photo shoot with your protruding belly out on full display, or just in the nude! he’d be hyping you up the whole time, telling you how gorgeous & sexy you look ;) where can i find myself a Rhett?? seriously!!

~ oohh! i’m not even pregnant & i need Rhett to give me a message haha 🥰 sounds so soothing! him helping you wash up in the bath & helping you put on your socks/shoes in time for the winter is just soooo! this cowboy is a big softie & wants to help you out in anyway he can! especially when you’re carrying his baby. he’s just utterly & hopelessly in love with you :,)

~ Cecilia being the midwife just seems so fitting! Tatum & Tanner are such great names too!! love Royal being the middle name for Tatum & knowing that James is Lew’s middle name is just amazing! i also was funnily enough born in a snowstorm, so i like that you included that little part hehe :) aweee! Cecilia snuggling with the babies is so sweet & Royal singing to them?! oh my goodness! my heart can’t take much more!! omg i’m just imagining how small the babies look while being held by Rhett :,) he is the most gentle & nurturing daddy there is! the peter rabbit quilt & the skin-to-skin is just so precious! the baby wrap!! ahh! Rhett would sink right into the dad role & would be an absolute natural at it 🥹🥹

Mary! you have outdone yourself with these thoughts/thots! you had me smiling, giggling, & getting all hot during certain parts! i absolutely loved this, thank you for sending them in! until next time angel 🥰💕

#rhett abbott #rhett thoughts/thots <3 #rhett abbott x reader #outer range

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rhubarb-pie · 4 months

Text

Coincidences are God's way of communicating

Growing up, I didn't have any notion of the idea of God. The first time God was ever mentioned to me was as a child. It was when I grew scared of death. I grew so scared of it that one day I ran to my Dad and he sat me down. He explained that God is everywhere, and we go to Him when we die to join him in heaven.

So, I began thinking everything was God. But I felt like I was playing this game with something. I framed it as 'the sky', because at nighttime I would look up at the stars and wish for things, or tell the stars how happy I am. My Dad would sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star every night for me, so that's what gave me the idea. Sometimes, I'd wish to see someone or something, or wish for help on something, and then it manifests itself right in front of me the next day! It felt like a game.

This was similar to a prayer. Before bed I'd wish upon a star, and ask for things. Some understandably never came true, like me asking to be a pop star like Hannah Montana from Disney Channel. I really liked the movie The Spiderwick Chronicles from Nickelodeon, and I'd ask to see a goblin. The next day, for example, my teacher would talk to me about them. Coincidences like that would occur. This would reaffirm my thinking that the stars, the sky, were listening. Coincidences felt extraordinarily significant to me because it seemed they happened so frequently.

The first time I felt God's presence was when I truly cried out for help. Now mind you, I had very overprotective parents and a very safe childhood, so my cry for help is relative to those circumstances. In the fifth grade I had a math workbook that we used for assignments. I had lost my math book somewhere. After retracing my steps a million times, it seemed, I couldn't find it anywhere. It vanished out of thin air. At least in my fifth grader brain, it did. The anxiety was overwhelming. I needed my math book for the test the next day. I could have asked the teacher for help, sure, but I was scared of punishment. That night, I begged the sky to help me find my math book before the test the next day.

In the morning after crying and begging for my math book back, I went to school with a pit in my stomach. The exam was first thing. Timidly, I sat at my desk until our teacher told everyone to turn to the math book exam pages. I didn't have my math book out, so the teacher approached me. "Where's your book?" he asked. There was a frog in my throat and I couldn't make eye contact. Without any prompting, the girl sitting next to me magically pulls out my math book from her desk. She was my hero. The sky was my hero.

I am unsure how the girl next to me got my work book, considering I always just put my book back into my desk. My desk was very neat and tidy with not a lot in there, so it is difficult for me to lose things. The girl next to me is quite messy. I didn't think she'd even have room for another math book in there.

Sure, there could be a very logical explanation to all of this. I was only 7, after all. However, the feeling of how special this moment was sticks with me. I think it was the first time ever that I could feel God helping me. From this instance on I knew coincidences were God's way of showing me that He is here.

Growing up Secular

My dad grew up Catholic. His family attended church, and he attended Catholic school. When he was in high school he began thinking that the church was a cult, and that it brainwashed people. He always told me that the church just wanted your money, and that they make you think you can buy your way to heaven. To me, it always seemed like he spoke downwards on the people he interacted with. He never spoke ill of God. Ever.

He wanted to raise my siblings and I away from the church, so we could develop our own beliefs.

The first time my Dad explained God to me was when I learned what death was.

I used to collect beetles and cicadas in the summertime. No one told me bugs were gross, or that it was weird to take interest in them. They were creatures in nature, and seemed to be living their own lives. I thought it was cool! Not to mention both of these bugs were a holographic, dark green color. They were beautiful to look at. I suppose the weird part was that I would find them on the ground and put them in jars to collect. They were dead just sitting in jars above the kitchen sink. My mom detested them, but since my dad also used to think bugs were cool growing up, he encouraged the interest. He grew sadder and sadder each year because he saw less and less bugs during the summertime. He said that due to high pesticide use, insect biodiversity decreased. Once I learned that these bugs were dead, and that I was storing their carcasses, I discarded the collection. Still, death did not have any truly negative connotation. It seemed normal, neutral. I thought it just made living things stop moving and breathing.

Growing up, I had gone to more funerals than I had parties or playdates. For some reason there were a lot of deaths in my family. The first time I saw a dead body was at an open casket funeral. It was eerie to see adults cry like that over something not moving. I first noticed death being a bad thing when my both of my grandfathers passed during the same period. Within a similar time frame if I remember correctly. I saw my paternal grandfather die of throat cancer and with Alzheimer's. The hospice was decorated with Christian themed things and crosses. The first time I ever stepped foot in a church was for his funeral. It felt like home, and even though I knew it was sad time, I was happy to be there. Death became sad, but not hopeless.

Then my maternal grandfather was dying of lung cancer, laying ill in the living room of their rowhome. Both were surreal. However, after seeing my mom's family scream and wail like that? Death became scary.

Since then, I started getting odd feelings in the back room of our family home. I felt like I wasn't alone. I would get a sharp fight or flight feeling out of nowhere. Then somewhere in the room I would know something was standing there.

I had thought death was visiting me- that I was going to die. One day the feeling really strong and I became incredibly scared of what death was. I went to my dad while he was in his garage, and he sat me down and explained what death was. He said it was best not to focus on it, and that it is inevitable for every living thing to experience. But that God was here, and we should focus on him. He will bring us to heaven with him. He said that God was everything and everywhere, and that He was love. He was something beyond comprehension. This was the only time in my life thus far that I have heard of my dad speak about God.

The fear of death turned into time anxiety as I grew. I wanted to experience as many things as I possibly could before my time was up. I graduated high school early because it was dictating how I spend my most valuable resource. I was constantly stressed and unhappy because I was doing so much, in such little time.

The fear of death eventually became nihilism, and I didn't fear anything. Nothing had purpose to me. The only time death crossed my mind was when I was gravely depressed, but that's a story for another time. Meaninglessness crept into my heart and I became bitter and cynical. I lived for myself and steam rolled over anyone who got in my way. I took interest in math, science, and engineering. Logic helped fend off unexplained fear.

Later on during college, my heart softened and I learned to appreciate the tiny moments that make life special. I learned to love all of the details that we all have the pleasure to witness. I did yoga nearly everyday and it was a lovely escape for me.

My life was incredibly stressful, since I was juggling so many things at once. My boyfriend at the time helped me find a sense of peace; He taught me to slow down and actually enjoy the moment without fear of the future. He was also involved with yoga, and he loosely practiced Hinduism… he was very interested with an Indian saint. I understood why he felt so drawn to that particular saint, or religion. I desperately wanted that to bring me peace, but it lacked a personal connection. The only profound thing that I thought the saint said was that the 'West needed to follow Christ'. At the time I didn't know who Jesus Christ was.

This is when the coincidences started happening to me again. My heart was open towards learning about who Christ was. Life felt a bit meaningless and I noticed I was living each day on repeat, with nothing that sparked joy. I refused to let myself slip into a depression again, so I forced myself to notice more details. I enticed myself into slowing down, and smelling the roses. The leaves on every tree, the clouds in the sky, and the sounds that my ears were blessed with wherever I go.

This is also when the spooky, fight or flight feelings started happening to me again, in the back room of my house. I had moved into the back room semi-permanently, while I saved up to buy a property, so I slept in there now.

I had been praying to the stars at night again, but this time for an opportunity. I was desperate for an opportunity to do something with my life. I had fallen time and time again living for myself, and yoga wasn't helping. I was ready to finally commit to something greater to myself. Whether it be a family, a community, a job, a mission… anything. I simply prayed for an opportunity.

While I waited and waited for this opportunity, I watched the birds outside my window every morning, as I logged onto work. They all had their routines, and I think they started to notice me too. Many doves, cardinals, blue-jays, chickadees, and woodpeckers flew by. Lots of geese and ducks, too. They felt like friends. I admired them from afar. Then on routine every morning, the two bald eagles that lived in my town started showing up. I had only ever seen them together once before, whilst the national anthem was playing at a track meet, years before. I was surprised to see them, but they too became implemented into my morning routine. After a few weeks, I started to see a bald eagle nearly everywhere I drove. Or I would see a bald eagle figurine in someone's window… or a picture of one on a shirt, out in public… everywhere.

The spooky feelings at night worsened. I had never been scared of the dark before. Now I needed to sleep with a night light. I would wake up at odd times with the fight or flight feeling. I felt like something was standing a few feet away from me watching. Waiting. This wasn't a good and warm feeling, like the one I had when I was at church for the first time, at my paternal grandfather's funeral. This was the feeling I had when I would be around my maternal grandfather's house when he was dying. It felt cold and malicious. The night light only helped so much.

After a few more weeks of sleepless nights, I went to my favorite yoga teacher at the studio I frequented. I didn't believe in energy healing, or anything, but I was desperate for solace. She gave me a reiki session, and told me to pray to the Archangel Saint Michael for protection at night whenever I was feeling scared. During the session I had a vision of two bald eagles flying over the skylight in my room, and I felt like they were my grandmothers. It as an informal, impromptu suggestion. She told me that she would hear her passed grandmom sometimes, so she didn't think I was crazy for getting horrible feelings at night. She got them too, except hers were more comforting. I trusted her and started to pray to Saint Michael. It helped, but not indefinitely. The feelings came back. I started to get used to it lingering.

I googled what bald eagles symbolize, and one interpretation is that they represent wisdom, guidance, and even the nature of Jesus Christ. It was fun to notice they visited me in the mornings. I wanted to focus on the good throughout the day, to fuel me with enough happy thoughts to get through the night. Even if it's just my delusion, I enjoyed their presence.

Out of the blue, I had the sudden urge to solve the murder mystery in my family. My maternal grandmom was an absolute angel, and was the primary reason my mom wasn't left behind when they immigrated to the United States, from China. That is also a story for another time. My grandmom was shot and murdered. Based off of three conversations I had with my family, and the ONLY photo I had of my grandmom, I was able to find the location and region for residence where she was killed. This was further than my uncle was able to get. He went crazy because he was trying to find her killer. All I needed was the 1983 police report stating proof of address, so I could find the landlord records, and maybe a name to go with the culprit. It seemed pretty straightforward to me. I wonder why crimes weren't investigated in Chinatown… The only reason I could not access the police report was because of a handwritten error. His birthday was 4/07, but the police report read 7/07. I think the 4 was mistakenly recorded at the time of the accident. That singular number is the reason I am not still going insane chasing down her murderer. This was not a good month of my life. I felt like the entity that lingered around at night started to come out during the day. Not a good feeling. It always stood 6 feet from the doorway. I think it was tormenting me, or spying on me. Watching and waiting. Eventually, after conversations with my aunts, forgiveness filled my heart, and the incessant need for revenge subsided.

Not long after the Nancy Drew phase, a few weeks later, while I was in the shower, I see hundreds of tiny insects crawling on the ceiling. I don't know how I didn't notice them before. They spawned out of nowhere. At first I was disgusted, but after further inspection, I noticed they were baby praying mantises. The plants in the bathroom are stored outside during the summer, so the eggs must have been incubating from the steam of the shower.

This event was interesting because it was so out of the ordinary. I googled what praying mantises symbolize. They represent piety and prayer, which is good luck… They also represent a message that 'the enemy is near'…

Then, the worst spooky event happened to me. Not even a week later. I was sleeping with the light off for the first time in awhile, and then I suddenly woke up with the fight or flight response. This time, I heard my name. I heard 'Hayley' being whispered through my nose, or the back of my head. Something like that. My heart was racing and I sat right up, and turned on the light. My bed faced away from the door. I felt the need to look over my shoulder. I saw my dad wearing a set of raggedy pajamas, that he used to wear when I was little. I hadn't seen him wear those in years. But, something was off putting, and uncanny. My dad walked in slouched over and in an odd manner. My dad never walks like that. 6 feet from the door, he stopped. He was watching and waiting. His eyes didn't look right. He just stared at me. His eyes weren't his usual, beautiful green color. They were red.

I thought it was the devil.

Immediately I turned away and froze. Over my shoulder again, it was gone. That was not my dad. I didn't sleep that night. I didn't sleep at all for the next few nights. I scrolled on Pinterest until I fell asleep. Dissociating seemed to help distract me from any spooky thoughts or feelings that came up. I only ever pinned outfits. One night my entire feed was flooded with white peacocks. When on earth have I ever pinned a bird on one of my boards? The white peacocks didn't go away, no matter what I searched. Why is my feed flooded with white peacocks? I was terrified. But nothing was more terrifying than my dad, who wasn't my dad, standing 6 feet from the door.

I googled what white peacocks symbolize. White peacocks represent Jesus Christ Himself.

This wasn't enough to convince me of anything, unfortunately. I carried on with sleeping with the lights on.

I was not prepared to see something potentially demonic again. At this point I couldn't figure out why I would decide to conjure something like that up in my head. Even my boyfriend at the time was weirded out. He told me it was just anxiety and to meditate. I had been doing yoga and mediating for 4 years up until that point. I tried that already.

I went to Barnes and Noble, and circled the religion aisle about 15 times before I picked up a Bible. On this same day, my sister had posted a 'joke' on her Instagram story. It was a satanic bible with the caption 'i might buy this'. Absolutely not. Of course I told my parents, and they denounced it. They barred that kind of stuff from the house.

When my sister and I were no longer fighting, we went to Target together. We bounce back even though we are polar opposites. I wanted a new candle for the back room, since I spent most of my time there. I bought the two cheapest candles on sale. When I got home to light them, I wanted to make sure I wasn't lighting any candle that somehow participated in any satanic ritual. I was not prepared to invite any more spooky things back into my life. Well, I never invited any spooky thing into my life. It just happened. The two candles were light purple and dark purple. Google told me that these colored candles were used to represent Jesus Christ, and are used in practice during church.

I know it seems minor, but the feeling I got when I looked up the meaning of the candles made me cry. Another Jesus Christ coincidence? Anyone could tell me that this was a reach. That this was something silly. But at this point I was indeed reaching, and hoping that Jesus did come to save me. I needed Him. I had been hoping for it, and I felt the greatest warm, fuzzy feeling that I had ever felt. I can't get rid of the spooky feeling at night alone. That was the moment I decided I would become Christian. These coincidences put meaning back into my life. Although it was difficult to that point, I no longer felt like I was living for myself. Christ saved me after the devil visited me. I refuse to take that for granted.

#jesus christ #faith in jesus #christianity #christian faith

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