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hina-has-no-life · 8 months

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Mori Ogai and Regret

Mori in the BSD Manga and Light Novels prides himself in always finding the optimal solution, in pushing his own feelings aside to accomplish the optimal goal for any given situation.

He is a man of logic and carefully wielded cruelty.

We see countless examples of the way he handles things and in the end achieves the best possible solution to his problems.

Killing the old Boss and having Dazai as his witness

Dazai pointing out that he himself is a possible danger to the initial plan

Chuuya remaining a loyal part of the Port Mafia

Driving Dazai away

Getting the Skilled Buisness Permit

The Great War and Yosano

There were all instances where we saw Mori put aside his own emotions and morality to achieve a greater goal. He wielded cruelty, facts and logic as weapons to achieve the in his mind most logical and optimal solution.

But Mori is human. And Humans can not completely disregard and turn off their emotions, no matter how hard they try.

Mori himself says that he has no regrets during the Guild Arc.

But does this like the face of a man void of regrets?

Or this?

In this instance Dazai is choosing the words that will invoke the feeling of Regret in Mori to push him towards choosing a truce with the ADA.

Dazai is aware that Mori has regrets.

But so is Hirotsu.

His inclusion in any conversations Dazai and Mori have regarding the old Boss tells us, as the reader, that Hirotsu knows the full picture.

He isn't just aware that Mori killed the old Boss like other people, but also of Mori's goal from that act.

Hirotsu even goes as far as to tell Mori that Dazai understands why Mori did what he did, implies that Dazai would also understand other actions Mori takes to reach the optimal solution.

But this also shows us something different.

Mori needs reminders.

After Mori killed the old PM Boss Dazai became a constant reminder of why he did what he did. It was inevitable that Dazai would forever remind Mori of the act itself and the initial reasoning behind it, since Dazai was present and Dazai helped him plan it.

Once Dazai left the Mafia Hirotsu transformed into a reminder of it all. In some way Kouyou is also a reminder of what he did and why he did it.

But why these two?

They were there during the reign of the old Boss.

But how does Mori remember the regrets of another part of his past? How does he remind himself of a time where he miscalculated, where he should have taken the emotions of the people he regarded as tools into account?

How is Mori reminded of the mistakes and regrets of the Great War, of Yosano?

Elise.

Elise is Mori's ability, Vita Sexualis. A humanoid puppet to control as he wishes.

But also to shape as he wishes.

During the Great War Elise is nothing more than a robotic being wearing a human skin, void of emotions, thoughts and autonomy.

Mori has always made Elise take the form of a younger girl.

While it is speculated in the fandom that this could be linked to his Lolicon, I believe otherwise.

Elise is for one inspired by the Novel The Dancing Girl from the real life author. But since she is Mori's ability in BSD she will be influenced by his subconcious.

Elise shows us that Mori, even in his twenties, wanted an apprentice. He wanted to impart his knowledge on someone else but until he found Yosano he did not have someone to do this with.

(Im Beast Elise takes the form of a women. Mori already has children to take care of and bestow his knowledge upton, he doesn't need her to fill thie role. But he does need another caretaker, so that is what Elise becomes)

Yosano herself says in the Manga that she respected Mori as a doctor.

Choosing a young and mallable girl as his apprentice did make her easier to manipulate, to create an army that can not die. But young people are also sponges for knowledge.

And here we come to his regret.

Mori does regret how he handled the situation with Yosano.

He liked that strong willed and opinionated young girl he drafted, and he broke her.

We do not see much of Elise until Dark Era, so we can not tell how long it took for Elise to display Yosanos personality after Yosano was redcued by Fukuzawa and Ranpo.

In this official Art we see Yosanos shadow in Elise, a clear indication of teh fact that Mori's impression of Yosano was bleeding into Elise. But we also see her still wearing pigtails.

Her hair and general clothing tells us that this is between loosing Yosano and Dark Era. With time, Elise will resemble Yosano more.

(The bow resembles the butterfly hairpin of Yosano.)

In this scene Mori tries to convince Elise to try on a new dress.

She refuses and clearly displays Yosano's personality in thsi interaction. From the way Mori handles it this isn't knew.

Their dynamic had already shifted into something more like Yosano and Mori instead of the Ability and Mori.

But her hair is different from the last picture.

Elise now has open and wavy hair. Does this remind you of someone?

(For a boy Dazai has always worn his hair longer than traditional seen as boyish, which in turn let's his ends curl and wave more noticable)

But why would Elise take on appearance markers of Dazai?

Simple.

Because there is something Mori regrets.

He only openly mentiones it in Beast but since Beast is a mirror of Canon, that shows us how different choices will change the same people, we can assume this are also the feelings of Canon!Mori.

Mori regrets not being able to really help Dazai.

And his regret will only get deeper as he makes another choice for an optimal solution.

Driving Dazai away and getting Oda killed fulfilled many positives for Mori, what he reached was the optimal solution. He just had to lose his right hand man.

(Light Novel Dark Era)

This is not the behavior of a man not regretting driving away the boy he cared about for 4 years to this point.

To this day Mori leaves Dazai's spot as executive open. He invited Dazai back into the Mafia.

And when we see Elise after Dark Era she has changed once again.

But this time it is not her appearance that changed, it is her attitude.

Elise displays a very much Dazai-like attitude when talking to Mori.

Where Yosano - and until the end of Dark Era Elise - were strong in their oppinion but polite and steadfast in their refusal, Dazai was bargaining. Dazai more often than not wanted something in exchange for doing something he deemed unpleasant/bothersome/boring.

During the recent timeline Elise also does this.

She doesn't just refuse things, she makes deals.

And she doesn't lie during negotiations, just like Dazai.

In the end Elise changes to be more like the people Mori feels a form of regret over. Elise is a constant reminder of his Regrets and Mistakes.

To support this, here are Asagiris words about Mori from the BSD Exhibition:

“He who fell out of the optimal solution”

Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is described in the novel “Dark Era” and “Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen”. That is “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss.

There is an unspoken additional point to it. “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.” We can catch a glimpse of that in this scene. [the ADA-PM alliance meeting]

Mori’s expressions after “Burnt it.” and “Like what you did to your predecessor”, gave us a glimpse of his true feelings that were made sacrifices for the sake of the “logical optimal solution”.

[Translation by @popopretty here on Tumblr]

A true optimal solution would leave Mori with no regrets. But whenever Elise changes and reminds him of regrets he feels, it is also a reminder of the time he did not truly reach an optimal solution.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd mori ogai #bsd mori #mori analysis #bsd elise #bsd yosano #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #yosano akiko #elise

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hopefulfuturenovelauthor · 1 year

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Headcanons of what's like to date Bruce, Dick, Jason, Martian, Wally, and Clark?

Hi, sorry for taking so long, but I am very grateful for your patience!

Here you go...

Headcanons of what's like to date Bruce, Dick, Jason, Martian, Wally, and Clark?

I would like to state that I’m assuming you meant Martian Manhunter and not Miss Martian, but in the case that I am wrong and you meant Miss Martian let me know and I’ll add her to this or write a super-long essay of your guy’s relationship or something!

As always please do not copy my work in any way, shape, or form. Thanks!

Warnings: none i think... not spell checked...

Bruce Wayne

Dating Bruce Wayne? Gotham’s favorite Billionaire and the Batman? Wow, good luck.

There is a lot of angsty shit in your relationship. Keep in mind it’s not like you guys have like crazy issues or anything, not to say that the Joker isn’t a crazy issue, but I mean that you don’t actually fight with each other a lot.

You disagree quite a bit considering you watch him on monitors and he goes out and actually gets hurt, but all of that frustration and worry comes from a place of care.

However, you didn’t talk to him for days when he decided to let Dick join him in the field. You were beyond upset, especially since you knew the dangers of crime-fighting yourself, seeing as you used to be a vigilante.

Regardless of that, it was Dick that convinced you to cut Bruce some slack. Eventually, you came to agree with the teenager, but only after you kicked Bruce where the sun doesn’t shine.

On a nicer note, definitely lots of gifts coming from his end even though he is called the dark knight.

Even when you were both playing hero and he didn’t know who you were under the mask he gave you little gadgets. You two had also met outside of hero-ing and in your real lives where he constantly graced you with the treat of coffee and/or donuts.

He likes to get you nice treats and sweets. He knows you don’t care for expensive gifts, especially since you work for a lot of nonprofits.

As for PDA on a scale, I will give you a 7.5/10. A solid 2.5 for physical affection such as hand holding, forehead kisses, whispering in each other's ears, and being a little too close to each other but not so close that you freak out everyone else around you.

As for that leftover 5 on the scale, holy shit do you guys never shut up. The constant flirting is where most of this score comes from. Saying embarrassing and inappropriate shit anywhere and everywhere is common with you. You tease each other relentlessly and enjoy seeing the other squirm. It can be quite uncomfortable for others around you, but you tend to keep the more spicy comments quieter, which leads to all of your odd whisperings.

You sort of live with him…? You guys are most often at his place, but you did decide to keep your own just because you wanted something that you paid for and could afford unlike his gigantic fucking manor.

Bruce cares for you deeply and understands why you want to keep your independence and have at least something of your own, especially considering that you guys work together often.

You are close with all of his family, including each kid he adopts, takes in, or has under his proverbial wing. In fact, you kind of think they prefer you over him, or at the very least Jason definitely does.

It might also be common sense now that Alfred also likes you more than Bruce because, in your guys' relationship, you have all of the brain cells and are logical.

You both can be impulsive and rude. You both can come across as very blunt and private people. You work well together despite everything.

You were very glad in the end that you both found someone so supportive and understanding.

You both were also glad that you had the guts to kiss him because, honestly, he was never going to make the first move without it being an epic disaster.

Dick Grayson

Yay! Okay, this guy and you wow. May I just say couple goals here. Like yes, wonderful, perfect together.

Will you go off on someone for hurting his feelings? Count on it. Whether it is physically fighting or verbally berating someone, you also support everyone’s favorite Blue Bird.

Cute nicknames? Yes, as I stated previously, Blue-Bird, you know because he had been Robin and then he became Nightwing, and Nightwing’s suit is black and blue. Also, his eyes are blue and they look so pretty you could stare at them all day. Also, often used but none as creative as Blue-Bird, sweetheart, darling, cutey, and love.

His pet names for you, are Darling, beautiful, sweetie, bundle of too much adorableness, most wonderful human being to ever exist, my reason for getting out of bed every morning, and love. It is obviously a wonderful mixture of names, and yes, sometimes you do worry about him.

I mean how could you not, you were there since he became Robin, you comforted him through every phase, from being a rebellious teen by denouncing Bruce, becoming Nightwing, forming his own group of heroes, and making the obvious mistake of wearing tights as a part of his costume (that one was particularly hard for you).

I will now rate your PDA, congrats you have received a 6/10. You guys like to give small face kisses (forehead, top of the head, cheek, nose, temple, etc.), you guys give each other small pecks on occasion, and always say ‘I love you’ when one of you has to leave. You hold each other's hands a lot. You guys are very sweet and very wholesome. The only time you aren’t is when you get reunited after a long time (2+ weeks) or a life-threatening thing happens (which is pretty often, I’m not going to lie).

When you reunite do you share that time slowed down and you are running to each other with the wind in your hair moment before frantically grasping one another to share a passionate kiss.

Sometimes he will tickle you and pick you up just to spin with you. This happens quite a lot and the two of you often have tickle fights.

You get along with his family, but you have no trouble standing up to them for him. You will fist fight with Jason and tell Tim to ‘shut up and go to sleep’. If Damian starts talking crap you won’t physically hit the child, but you will steal away his pets with treats, which annoys him because food > him.

You will scream at Bruce if necessary. Dick and his adoptive siblings will have to physically pick you up to get you away from the situation.

You guys never fight, except when you eat the last of each other’s ice cream.

Jeez, you two are so cute together.

Jason Todd

You met early on but got together a few years after his death.

He used to annoy the shit out of you, but the events involving the Joker led you both in the same direction.

You both have a better understanding of each other than anyone else. You are field partners and the only real anti-heroes of Gotham.

You were quick to share an apartment once you both learned each other’s civilian names.

It is easier than you both expected to fall into a rhythm, which only made it easier to go from something platonic to something romantically domestic.

You never seemed to get in each other's way and could somehow calm the other down when the world became a little too quiet or loud. You both rarely slept in the separate beds you had brought and maneuvered into the one bedroom. In fact, neither of you really slept on a bed.

Most nights you stayed up as late as you could and either returned home and passed out on the couch or watched tv till 3 am, cuddling, and passed out on the couch.

You guys are a little different than others. PDA is more of healthy ways to deal with trauma mixed with a little codependency (but nothing terrible, sometimes shit just gets hard for you both and you have some really off days). Hand holding, back rubs, hugs, and playing with each other's hair and hands are just ways to calm each other.

But back to PDA. Yes. 9/10. You will both totally make out in front of other people spontaneously without a care in the world. He tends to initiate it, but you certainly never have an issue with it.

After all of the shit you two have been through you don’t really care about other people’s comfort around you because you feel safe with each other and are each other's security blankets.

Pet names are definitely common. It is probably the most annoying thing he does when you work together fighting crime. You always hated how he was so arrogant and acted childish when he was Robin. Now he just calls you pet names and flirts ceaselessly with you while you fight together. He will call you sweetheart, darling, beautiful, gorgeous, love, my love, love of my life, and more when you are in the field. He calls you them outside of your night shift too, but that does not annoy you at all.

You tend to use many of the back, if not all of them, because he means just as much to you.

He always makes the most adorable face when you cradle his head and call him beautiful. Like this is the softest he will ever be with someone else and he just looks so small and cute and in need of a hug.

If he annoys you, expect gifts in the form of food and drinks. If you annoy him, expect to give him extra hugs and books.

Yes, you read together, cuddling. Typically different books, but he acts as your personal heater and you love it.

Coffee shop dates, take-out-stay-in dates, and video game dates are to be expected. Also, pastries on top of buildings in the middle of the night are a great pastime.

Also, one last thing, just to mention, you are the only one allowed to use or even touch his guns.

Martian Manhunter

Telepathically communicating, yayyyyyyyy! Okay maybe too soon with that one. But really, expect to be snorting in a silent room as everyone looks at you like you're crazy except for him because he’s smiling fondly at your reaction.

You two are very sweet together. You help the Justice League with PR stuff, so you talk with the group of heroes all the time.

You often work with the big names and more controversial people in the League, but you work with everyone when you need to.

Also, J’onn can fly so expect to be carried in his arms all the time. He won’t even think about it twice because why would he take you somewhere in a car when he can literally swoop you off your feet bridal style and fly off as you look up at him in complete adoration.

For the moment you’ve all been waiting for, PDA rating. I would say 3/10 in public and 6/10 in private. By that I mean outside world public and the justice hall, mount olympus, etc. as private. In your guy’s place he’s just a cuddle bug or a second cat because yes he bought you a cat for one of your anniversaries.

He cooks you dinner. You join him often, but like he loves to cook you dinner. You think it is really sweet, but he also loves to learn different earthly activities. That and M’gann sends him recipes she thinks you’ll like (and you always love them).

You once made him chocolate cake by the way and now he has a new favorite thing. He loves it and didn’t stop talking about it for months.

He likes to hold your hands a lot. Sometimes when one of you is stressed the other reaches out in hopes of grounding them before they overthink. It’s very sweet and you both love the gesture.

You sort of also took M’gann under your wing when she first arrived and it melted yours and J’onn’s hearts when she first called you her aunt/uncle. At this point you're like the mom of the YJ and the go to friend for the league. It’s all very sweet but sometimes J’onn feels like the League is hogging you and ‘has to’ drag you away from everyone quite literally, which goes a little something like this:

“Oh, but J’onn, I was having a lovely conversation with Bruce.” “Oh, I’m very sorry, Y/n, but we really have to go,” as he starts to pull you out of the room. “Alright, sorry Bruce we can talk, more some other time?” Once you both make it out of the room you release a breath, “Dinner?” “Yes.” “Great because I’m hungry and Bruce was gnawing my ear off.” After that you both just laugh.

Dinner goes great by the way and you share chocolate cake at the end before going home to cuddle with your cat and watch baking and cooking shows.

Wally West

Just to get it out there, you show your guys affection through food and physical touch

You make Wally whatever you can cook and make a lot of it for his boosted metabolism. You also order extra pizza for him.

He tries to bake you your favorite desserts but sometimes lacks the patience and other times he eats half of it.

He typically just always buys you your favorite snacks and desserts. Even then he always ‘sneaks’ a bite.

Your PDA is surprisingly low, but as he matures it definitely increases. Like Dick had told you all those years ago it took a while to get used to Wally eating.

I would rate you a 2/10 at the beginning of your relationship and an 8/10 when at your best. (basically Young Justice S1 Wally compared to S2)

You are always touching each other. I don’t mean in an inappropriate way, but considering it is Wally that isn’t unheard of, just not often done in public.

On top of that, he will carry you everywhere, superspeed, normal speed it does not matter. Hand holding always, hugging always. He just wants physical contact. And piggy backs.

But like also, his pickup lines. I repeat his pickup lines. They are so cheesy and corny and you find them endearing somehow. I mean I do too, he is a sweetheart so yeah.

He treats you so well too. Your well-being matters so much to him and if you need something, he will be there in like 3 seconds regardless of where he is.

Nicknames should be expected: whatever you do, whatever you like he finds a way to make it a nickname. He does use babe a lot, but it feels a little basic so he comes up with new one's all the time. Sometimes they stick and other times you choke on air, but the scientific method says that you will fail and retry so it doesn’t phase him.

For the record though, he is Wally so a lot of his nicknames are food based: honey, cupcake, sugar cube, sweet potato, and more.

If you nerd out with him he will never, I repeat, never let you go.

Also if you wear his merch he will be all over you. Depending on the situation and the place it might get a little spicy, but in most cases he will wrap his arms around your middle and just hold you tightly as he falls back into a chair or couch or something. He will not let you go and will nuzzle his face into your neck for hours. For someone that is so fast and gets bored so easily, he will never want any of this to end.

Clark Kent

Yeah, you know. You knew. You were well aware of who he was. One single pair of glasses did not fool you. I mean, you didn’t say anything until like the seventh date, but you knew.

Yay, lucky you are normal, in fact, you do not play hero in your free time, but you do have some abilities.

You blame the particle accelerator explosion that occurred in your last home for your abilities. But they were easy to hide and really helped with your job.

You are a psychologist/part-time therapist. You met Clark through an interview you did about the effects of the most recent attack in Metropolis on the citizens' mental health. You had to fight for this article to even exist, but you did so because you could feel the fear that radiated throughout it.

You did everything you could to provide as much help and information as you could on the topic. Clark had been the photographer for the interview and you both immediately hit it off.

He asked you out to dinner when you stopped by his office to discuss doing another article. Clark said that to celebrate the occasion he could take you out if you wanted.

You said yes because free dinner was nice and he seemed like a good guy, so you thought why the heck not?

Of course, the date went well and you highly enjoyed his company. He asked you out again and said yes.

On your third date, he had to leave early for whatever reason, and then a minute later Superman flew by and started to stop a robbery a block away. Interested, you got as close as you could and were very shocked when you saw Superman’s face.

You didn’t mention it, but he had the same aura with the slightest bit of guilt that you thought was likely toward leaving you mid-date.

Once he knew you knew he eased up a lot and told you all about his past and Krypton and his powers and his hero-ing.

You guys have great communication, which is in part due to your empathic abilities. You can always tell when something bothers him and he is more than willing to talk through whatever troubles him. You do the same understanding that you both thrive off of honesty with each other.

Conversation always comes easy.

Some activities you like to do together are going out for dinner, movie nights, baking, picnic dates, and annoying Bruce Wayne.

Your PDA scale would be like a 4/10 at most. You are very sweet with each other, but sometimes you both find it odd being extra coupley with others around you. Since Clark has super hearing he can tell when people are uncomfortable and since you have your empath abilities you can feel it too. Other people’s moods also affect yours in general so the more people there are the more overwhelmed you feel so you try to avoid anything more than a quick peck on the cheek.

However, it is still very obvious you two are together because you spend a lot of time with each other and go to lunch together basically every day.

Around the Justice League, you can be a little more open with your affections but you both still prefer privacy.

Nicknames: yes. There are some of the basics: darling, dear, love, etc. Clark particularly likes calling you my dear and you enjoy calling him sweetheart. Sometimes you joke around when he enters a room and you say, “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s my boyfriend, Clark Kent.”

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autistichalsin · 3 months

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When considering Halsin's polygamy, do you think it is just his way of coping with the scars and traumas of his past? He does admit that monogamy is acceptable, but not for him, and he often talks about roaming. However, the more I play this game, get to know him better, and analyze his character, the more I start to doubt that polygamy is not truly what Halsin wants. He has been through so much - pain, suffering, and torture. What if his polygamy is a shield he uses to protect himself from further pain? Perhaps he has realized that he's fallen in love with Tav and now he is afraid of losing them. Just as you mentioned in your previous post, he is afraid of being alone, rejected, and abandoned.

Just a note- it's polyamory, not polygamy. Polygamy refers specifically to marrying more than one woman.

I absolutely do not in any way, shape, or form, think that he's only polyamorous because of his trauma. Polyamory is who Halsin is. There's a devnote in Halsin's scene that says "sincere- this is a core belief of his."

Wood elves are polyamorous by default. The entire cultural belief is that jealousy is a waste of time, and exploring multiple relationships, as long as all people involved consent, is only natural. That is how he was even before becoming a druid.

This isn't an attack against you, anon, I know you were asking a genuine question in earnest, but I am so beyond tired of people trying to reinterpret all of the polyamorous characters in this game as actually monogamous people who are afraid/broken. Why do people insist on doing this? Is it that hard to conceive of a character with an alternative sexuality who actually is happy that way?

Let's just set aside the characterization reasons and look at it from a pure logical perspective. Halsin is the one to bring up polyamory with the player. He is the one to say this is a fundamental part of who he is. If the player answers that they don't have the same nature as he does and don't want a polyamorous relationship, the relationship doesn't progress. If Halsin was actually just pretending to be poly to avoid being abandoned, why would he not jump in at that point and go "oh, actually I'm okay with a monogamous relationship too, please don't leave?" Why would he be okay with the player leaving over this part of himself if it wasn't actually part of himself, just a lie he told to avoid being left alone? Because poly is who he actually is, not a lie he tells himself to engage in emotional self-harm.

Further, if he was so desperate not to be alone that he would deny who he is, he would actually be more likely to lie about being monogamous, not the other way around. Most people will flat-out refuse poly relationships (because it's not for them) and even call poly people perverts or cheaters. Halsin has probably forewent many other relationships before just because of this fundamental incompatibility. If he was scared of being alone, he would be far likelier to pretend he was happy with one person, so that he would be able to find a partner without navigating that situation, than he would to pretend to be some identity that already makes it harder to find a partner to begin with, and that often causes intense strain on relationships when mismanaged to the point that it can easily be the cause of many relationships ending.

Being poly isn't something you lie about because you want not to be alone- being poly makes it infinitely harder to find a relationship just by its nature.

Halsin is "poly and traumatized" not "poly because he's traumatized." It is absolutely absurd to deny his repeated statements that this is who he is and what he wants. Again, no offense, anon, and I hope this doesn't upset you, but I really have no patience for attempts to dismiss a core part of Halsin's identity as a maladaptive coping mechanism.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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heartbreakgrill · 9 months

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stiles stilinski: breakable heaven; pt 2, "it's new, the shape of your body. it's blue, the feeling i've got."

description: situationship x stiles stilinksi.

"so, you didn't even fuck him?" danny leaned forward in his desk, whispering pathetically to y/n, who was seated in front of him.

stacking her textbooks onto her desk, y/n twisted around to face her friend. "sh!" she looked around with paranoia, hoping no one heard danny's loud mouth. she rolled her eyes back towards danny, "quiet down, idiot. no, we didn't fuck."

"why?!" danny groaned, planting his forehead in his hands, "you had the perfect opportunity!"

y/n shrugged, "i just wasn't ready. i still barely know the guy."

"you don't need to know his favorite color to have sex with him. it's supposed to be casual, remember?" danny reminded.

twisted around to face danny still, she crossed her arms over the curve of the top of the chair, "i know, i know. but, ugh, i don't know. i just want to know a little bit."

he replied, "just a little bit, though. you don't want to get too attached."

"yeah, no, of course," y/n trailed off, focusing her attention back to the front of the room as the teacher demanded the students' to listen.

y/n pulled her phone from her pocket as it buzzed. underneath her desk, she responded to stiles' text.

stiles stilinski: nah, literally. i understand the books weren't finished, but they didn't have to end the show the way they did.

y/n: i kinda liked how dany went off the rails, but it was way out of her character development. i'll have to text you later, class is starting, and i'll be busy the rest of the day. see ya!

stiles stilinski: no problemo, have a lovely day!

y/n quickly shoved her phone into the side pocket of her bookbag. she sat up in her seat, doodled across the top of her notebook with a new pen, and attempted to focus her eyes on the chalkboard as the teacher wrote out the lesson title.

but her mind was focused elsewhere.

"y/n," stiles moaned against her lips as his body pushed up against hers.

she grasped at the hairs curled at the nape of his neck, giggling slightly at his neediness. "yeah?"

stiles sighed, exasperatedly, "you're...so...pretty."

y/n grinned, interrupting their kissing. stiles pulled his head back slightly, "what? did i do something wrong?"

she shook her head, meeting his brown eyes, softer in the dim lighting. "no, you're perfect.”

stiles had drove her home after the hangout at danny's. he insisted on listening to taylor swift and continued to intently ask her questions about anything and everything.

when he dropped her off, he waited at the curb, jeep idling, until he saw he safely enter her house. it made her heart skip a beat.

then, when she closed the door, reality came crashing back down.

y/n showered, went to bed. she was coming off of her high, and she was remembering all of the awful details of the past summer. stiles became an afterthought.

she made the mistake of looking at a few photos in her phone. missed stiles’ text telling her he got home safely.

she texted him when she woke up. he immediately replied, assuring her it was okay for her late response. he made one comment on something insanely random, but they delved into a conversation about it.

it got cut short, as it was saturday, and y/n had to go straight to work. it was insanely busy i’m the restaurant she waitressed at, so y/n didn't get a chance to check her phone all day. she hoped, though, that stiles would text her. of course, she hoped sam would, too. but that was always a hope a heartbroken person carried, right?

even if they knew, logically, it made no sense. it wasn’t right.

stiles, he did message her. they continued to text, back and forth, all weekend long.

y/n didn’t agree that casual sex needed to exclude any and all forms of friendliness. the only thing that needed to be removed from the situation was feelings, beyond anything amiable. and that was easy as pie.

after class, y/n had a free period. and that was the last class of the day. so, she dumped some of her books off at her locker, and decided to head home for the day.

on her way out to her car, she texted stiles back.

y/n: how’s your day going?

he didn’t respond right away, which he normally did. but, she knew he was in english, and the new teacher was pretty strict about phone usage.

y/n opened the driver’s side door, tossed her book bag in, and went to slip into her seat when she heard her name being called. she looked to her left and saw stiles jogging across the parking lot.

y/n furrowed her brows, tilted her head, “shouldn’t you be in english?”

stiles came to a halt before her, hands on his hips, “what? oh, um-“ he looked behind him, as if the answer lied towards the lacrosse field, “i got let out early?”

that sounded like a question. “hm,” y/n smiled slightly, “you’re skipping class.”

“oh, you’re one to judge,” he shot back, “what’re you doing right now?”

“going home. i have a free period!” y/n defended, motioning back to the school building.

“mhm,” stiles nodded, “sure.”

y/n stared at him for a moment. she lifted her phone up, “i just texted you, by the way.”

stiles pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket, “oh, oh, here…” he typed out his response, and clicked send, proudly.

y/n smiled appreciatively, “i’m eager to hear your response to my riveting question. anyways, if you’re gonna skip class, do you think it’s a good idea to hang out in the parking lot?”

stiles leaned against the car beside y/n, “oh, probably not.” he looked like there was something else going on, and there was. y/n just didn’t know about all of the supernatural threats surrounding the school on any given basis. “but, i saw you and wanted to ask…”

“what’s up?” she stood up, eager.

stiles rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick, y/n noticed. “are you free tomorrow night?”

y/n nodded, probably too quick to respond, “yeah, absolutely.”

“okay, cool,” stiles pursed his lips. a beat of silence passed, and y/n tilted her head, encouraging him to continue. “oh, well, maybe i can finally meet your dog?”

“smooth,” y/n poked his shoulder, “text me when you’re leaving school. i’ll send you my address.”

stiles grinned, “really? cool, cool. i’ll- see you then.”

y/n climbed into her car, and stiles closed the driver’s door for her. she waved before pulling out of the parking lot.

stiles fist pumped the air.

he met back up with scott, allison, and isaac by his jeep. they were skipping class because the alpha pack in town was causing a load of harmful trouble. just another chapter in the book of the supernatural.

“what was that about?” scott asked, secretly for his friend.

stiles, pretending to be casual about the situation, placed his hands on his hips, shrugged. “nah, nothing. just made plans to chill tomorrow night. no big deal.”

scott didn’t want to pressure his friend. he simply nodded, smiling kindly. “sounds good.”

stiles shrugged, again, though scott could see right through him.

he could see right through his sarcastic, solid exterior, straight to the scared teenage boy with the giant heart he wore just under his sleeve.

and he knew, already, things were gonna get messy.

–

y/n took an everything shower when she got home at her free period. and, by everything- she did everything. shaved, exfoliated, scrubbed every pore on her skin, wrapped her body in masks, conditioners, body washes, hair treatments, a teeth whitening kit. everything.

she tried to present her makeup and hair casually, but y/n still put enough effort into both to make herself look better than average. she was dressed and ready to go as soon as stiles messaged her that he was leaving school. she replied with her address, and proceeded to pace the length of the front room of her house until he arrived.

y/n’s dog started barking, in response to a short knock from the front door. she shushed winnie, who was up in arms about the person outside; ears perked up, eyes alert. all german Shepard, guard dog-esque. y/n patted winnie’s head, calming her slightly, before unlocking and opening the door.

stiles stood there, posture hunched slightly, in jeans and his usual t-shirt combo. his palm was cupped in front of his mouth, as though he was smelling his breath. he met y/n’s eyes, coughed awkwardly, and quickly wiped his hands on his thighs.

“oh,” he cleared his throat, again, “sorry. uh- hi. sorry. just- smelling my breath!” stiles cringed at his own words and glanced at his feet. he scratched the back of his neck.

y/n giggled, “oh, my goodness. just come in.”

she stepped aside, motioning him into the house. winnie took this moment to run up to stiles, panting like she’d run a marathon. stiles responded with excitement, ushering the old girl inside while patting her fur and gushing with baby talk.

“oh, you’re so cute- oh, yes you are, yes, you are. you are gorgeous, sweet girl,” stiles crouched to winnie’s level. “this is winnie, right?”

y/n nodded appreciatively. he listened to her when she talked. “yep. she’s very happy to meet you.”

“i’m very happy to meet her- oh, yes, i am!” stiles accepted the kisses winnie offered.

“now you’re breath might smell!” y/n laughed, gently pushing winnie’s face from stiles’ mouth.

stiles stood back up straight, though winnie continued to nudge him with her snout.

“you can take your shoes off,” y/n instructed. stiles followed suit, kicking his converse off towards the side, with the other shoes.

stiles moved further into the house, peering around the corner, into the living room, then on the other side, into the kitchen. “are…your parents home?”

y/n met his eyes and smiled gently. “no,” she shook her head. “they’re out of town this week.”

“so, you’re all alone? in this giant house?” stiles walked through the kitchen. outside the big picture windows was nothing but woods. she lived only a few minutes from school, but, “in the middle of…nowhere?”

y/n giggled, again, looking out the window, too, “yeah. i used to be scared, but you get over it. they’re out of town a lot.”

she didn’t know why stiles became worrisome. she didn’t really notice the creases deepen in his forehead, or the constant thought that would now exist in his mind. she didn’t know about the supernatural. she didn’t know of the massive threat looming right over her throat every single day.

“that’s…” stiles met her eye. she frowned slightly because he looked freaked out. he covered up his concern, “you should throw a party. yeah, that would be sick.“

she shrugged, “yeah, maybe. i don’t know, that’s a lot of work. i’d be stressed the whole time. wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself cause i’d be worried about people fucking up the house.

“well, that’s why you have me. i can co-host. we can worry together,” stiles nudged her with his elbow.

she looked up at him, shoulder brushing his, goofy grin on her face. “okay, yeah…i’ll take you up on that offer sometime. maybe next weekend. after the game?”

stiles gave her a thumbs up, “nothing better than getting shit faced after being hit with lacrosse sticks for three hours.”

y/n laughed, loudly. she wrapped her hand around stiles shoulder, leaning in as the noise rang from her throat. people were usually sick of his sarcasm after being around him longer than 24 hours. she seemed ever-appreciative of it. his bareskin tingled beneath her fingers. he sweat a little, breathed a little heavier.

feeling no sense of self control, stiles grabbed her by the hips, pushed his lips up against hers. he pressed her back up against the kitchen island, nearly tossing them both to the floor from his rush. she yelped, slightly. but she managed to balance herself, squeezed her eyes shut, and wrapped her fingers up in his hair.

they continued moving against each other, lips sloppy together. stiles had little to no experience, save for the few times he had made out with a girl. but, his expertise ended there. he’d, obviously, read- watched- a lot about that. there were a few tricks he’d been keeping up his sleeve. and this was finally his moment.

he situated his hands back on her hips, as they’d wandered up her torso. using all of his strength, stiles lifted y/n up onto the kitchen counter. she gasped, surprised by his muscle. she met his eyes, pupils blown out, mouth swollen, hair in disarray. once she was situated on top, stiles moved back in for her lips.

y/n fought the smile crawling out of her mouth. she focused on his shoulders, his arms, his chest. she reached the bottom of his shirt and began to slowly, painfully, pull it over his head. stiles quickly helped her toss it across the kitchen.

his lips aimed for her, but she took the upper-hand by steadying his shoulders. she first kissed the nape of his neck, which caused his breathing to completely shorten. she smiled as she felt his heart thump against his throat. as y/n nipped her way up and down his neck, rolled his ear lobe between her teeth, stiles moved his hands back to her body.

every once and a while, he’d shudder under her touch, let out a little breathless moan. at the same time, his fingers would clench whatever piece of skin he was touching. at first, her hips, then her sides, then her breasts. she moaned at this accidental movement, and stiles smiled to himself.

stiles gently pulled her shirt up and off. she dropped her head back to his neck, intending to continue her battle there. but, stiles cupped either one of her breasts in his hand, gently squeezing again. he felt goosebumps tickle all up and down her skin, and saw them rise on the curve of her breasts. he didn’t know where his confidence was coming from, but he leaned forward, and kissed the hills on her skin.

y/n’s forehead dropped to stiles’ shoulder, sweet sounds escaping her lips. he delicately swept his fingers around the edge of her bra, to the back, where the clasp was. before he could try to undo it, y/n pulled back. the way she looked at him- stiles swore he could fall apart from that gaze.

“as much as i’m enjoying this, i’d rather not fuck on my kitchen counter,” y/n steadied her hands on his shoulders.

stiles grinned, stepped back, helped her land on the floor, on her feet. before she could move past him, stiles dipped his head low, grabbed her jaw between his hand, and kissed her fiercely. y/n’s knees knocked together.

and she led him to her room.

when he left, y/n showered, again. she was sweaty, and he lingered on her skin like frostbite. showers always made her feelings irrepressible, like they were being sucked out of her lungs by the water.

she cried.

and it wasn’t befause stiles was terrible at sex. no, he was good. he’d made her feel good. he drew movement from her she didn’t know was possible.

it was everything else.

it was sam. it was the endless summer she had felt come to a stubborn, painful close. it was the ugly feeling he had left lingering on her skin.

she didn’t she’d ever get over it- him. he’d be etched into her like stretch marks. he pulled her apart, stretched her thin, and punched holes everywhere he could. left a brutal, bruising mark.

all because he was too scared to try.

she wanted to call danny afterwards, to tell him all about. to ask for solace from him in her confusing heartbreak. but, it felt too burdening.

stiles texted her when he got home, shortly after she got out of the shower. she thanked him, she didn’t know why, but she thanked him. she was grateful. he made her feel worthy. hell, he’d spent half the time in her sheets worshipping and praising her body, her lips, at her hips like an altar.

it was almost overwhelming. but it felt good. he felt good. everywhere.

he thanked her back with some witty, thoughtful message. she wanted to text back, but a conversation felt like too much right now. she needed to rest her weary heart.

besides, this was all casual…right? she wasn’t obligated to text him back. it didn’t matter if she did. she didn’t care if she did.

right?

–

“and then what happened?” danny slammed his hands down on the table between them, leaning his face close to y/n’s.

the smack of his palms resounded throughout the library, garnering hushes from the independent study instructor, and glares from the other students. y/n looked around, embarrassed, before shoving danny’s face away with her own hand.

“shut up!” y/n shushed him herself. “don’t have to tell the whole school how i fucked stiles stilinksi!”

she said it in a whisper, but danny still heard it. he cheered, loudly, jumping up and out of his seat. y/n stood, too, grabbing his biceps and trying to calm him down. she shot apologetic glances to her fellow classmates. coach blew his whistle, causing danny and y/n to whip their heads his way.

“that’s it! if you can’t study independently, you can’t study at all! get out, go home, go to the alley by the gas station and buy drugs, i don’t care! just don’t stay here!”

he ushered them out the door, and they barely managed to grab their things before the library was shut tightly behind them. y/n smacked danny across the chest, but he barely winced.

she pumped her legs, hard, moving down the hall away from him. danny followed, quick, singing, “she just had sex! y/n finally had sex!”

stopped at her locker, y/n rolled her eyes, and tried to quiet danny down. “literally- danny! i won’t tell you anything if you don’t shut the fuck up! please!”

danny groaned and leaned up against the locker. nevertheless, he shut the fuck up. “please tell me more before i combust!”

y/n waved him off as she shoved some books into her locker. “we had sex. it was good- like, really, weirdly, mysteriously good.” she emphasized the word, shooting danny a confused look.

his jaw was dropped, “be for real. right now. no way- stilinksi? stiles stilinksi?”

y/n nodded with a look of surprised assurance. “i know. and- like, sure, he’s not at all experienced. but, he somehow knew what to do. plus- oh, my god…” y/n trailed off, gesturing to the floor with head, her eyes widened.

danny’s mouth opened further, if at all possible, “no fucking way! no way. i refuse to- how big?”

he put his hands out beside each other in the air, about three inches apart. y/n shook her head, offended. he opened the space further, until y/n nodded, smirking.

danny slapped a palm over his mouth, “holy fuck! stiles stilinksi-“ he said, shocked, before he repeated, “stiles stilinksi,” impressed.

“i know,” y/n shrugged. she shut her locker.

danny began walking towards the exit, y/n falling in step beside him. “you lucky bitch. so, do you think it’ll be a regular thing? are you gonna do it- him- again?”

danny held the door open for her. she stepped through with a shrug. “i would fucking love to. but, i don’t know. he hasn’t said anything since. we’ve just been texting about other shit.”

“like, what?” danny inquired.

y/n pulled out her phone, where a fresh, unread text from stiles sat patient. “like, right now, we’re discussing his favorite band. music, in general, i guess.”

danny scoffed, “be for real.”

“bitch,” y/n shoved him, “what?”

“discussing music,” he tsked his tongue. “that’s how it always starts. before you know it, you’re married in the burbs with a baby and a dog.”

“shut up,” y/n shoved her phone back into her pocket, self conscious about responding, now. “you know i don’t want that. i’m not interested in dating. i’m moving away in less than a year and- and…”

she trailed off, but danny knew what her distant look meant. “sam,” he filled in the gap. “i know,” he touched her arm lovingly.

y/n looked up at him with her sad, puppy dog eyes. “fucking- ugh. i hate him.”

“i know, babe,” danny comforted. “at least you don’t have to see him. at least he’s off at college.”

“it’s sad, though,” she opened her car door and dumped her backpack inside. leaned up against the side of the vehicle, she elaborated, “i saw him almost every single day, over the summer. and then he just- i don’t know.”

“tells you he loves you while breaking up with you? i do know. he’s a fucking pussy. and you deserve better. he was manipulative as fuck, anyways,” danny waved off the issue at hand. “i don’t know, just…i don’t know. stiles is weird. i don’t really know him that well. he doesn’t seem like he’d fuck you over, but it’s just that tricky line of friends with benefits. it almost always leads to someone getting hurt.”

y/n picked at a piece of dirt on the side of her car, focused on danny’s words. “i think we’re both smart enough that we won’t let that happen. we both know what we want from each other- sex. strictly. nothing else. it’s black and white.”

“oh, love,” danny patted her shoulder, “nothing is ever black and white.”

danny bid farewell, hugging his friend tightly, with a saddened gaze shot her way. she was distant, stuck in her head, thinking over her words.

it didn’t matter. it really didn’t. she didn’t want anything from stiles, but sex. she didn’t want an attachment. so, she simply wouldn’t form one.

it didn’t matter if they were discussing music. it didn’t matter if she knew what made his cheeks crinkle into a smile. it didn’t matter if she was learning his favorite colors depended on the seasons, or that his dad was his role model. it didn’t matter.

she had boundaries, and she could keep them.

she could.

couldn’t she?

#teen wolf stiles #derek x stiles #stiles stilinski #stiles x reader #stiles stilinksi fanfiction #stiles x lydia #void stiles #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinksi x reader #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf #scott mccall

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youremyheaven · 10 months

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Fated Love in Astrology

So, every person has a divine partner that they are meant to be with. Your union with your other half (I hesitate to use the world “twin flame” only because of how misconstrued it is in mainstream astrology/spirituality discourse) depends entirely on both of your individual spiritual awakening and commitment to the spiritual path.

In astrology, the 7th house represents marriage, or, as I like to call it “union”. The 7th house, is the 7th house from the 1st house. It is the descendant to your ascendant. It is the shadow to your ego. Whenever we cross paths with an individual whose luminaries fall to our 7th house, it creates a very magnetic & intense attraction. It’s almost inexplicable what you feel for each other.

With that said, this sort of connection is not logical or rational. It defies all norms. The key to recognizing your divine partner is the intense attraction you feel towards them right away. There is no hesitation or second guessing, you’re simply awestruck by them. Nowadays, we all have a very tedious approach to relationships (due to our collective trauma and bad experiences), everybody walks around with a checklist to find someone who will fit their criteria but that is not how Divine Love works. You just know instantly that there is something different about this connection. That is not to say, the nature of the relationship will be easy. Fated connections are never easy and not everyone is meant to find their Divine Partner.

When such a person comes into your life, it usually triggers your ego death; they become responsible for you losing the shell of identity you held close to you. All your fears, your shame, your vulnerability comes to the forefront and you have to confront everything you’ve ever repressed. It leads to a dissolution of self.

In Sufism, there is the concept of “fanaa” which can be translated to “annihilation”. In order to merge oneself with God, it is first necessary to annihilate everything that you consider to be you. It’s important to "to die before one dies". Love & Worship are very closely intertwined. This is exactly what “twin flame” connection feels like. You rid yourself of your ego, you dissolve your sense of “self”. Sounds intense? That’s because it is. It irks me when people talk about twin flames in a casual way because a) not everyone has a twin flame b) this is not a fun experience in any way, shape or form c)This is the least casual of experiences

(I am using the word twin flame here only because it is a term that more people are familiar with, I wanted to speak of the spiritual background of that experience whilst using a term that’s already familiar)

In Jungian psychology, there is the concept of anima/animus, which refer to the unconscious masculine aspect of a woman and the unconscious feminine aspect of a man respectively. One aspect of being a “whole” human being is to integrate these unconscious parts into yourself. This is similar to what a twin experiences, your other half seems to be in the shadow, hidden from your view, crossing paths with them, brings that realization to you and now in order to unite with them, you must first dissolve yourself and merge with that unconscious image of them.

There is a reason why twins “mirror” each other; they are a reflection of you and vice versa. This is why every interaction with them strikes a nerve in you and you feel their absence like a phantom limb.

If you’re on a twin flame journey or would like to know more about it, I suggest immersing yourself in Sufi philosophy. To a lay person, the Sufi concept of Love may seem dramatic and over the top but for those in the know, it will seem deeply familiar, because ultimately your longing and yearning for your “twin” is your innate longing to seek union with God/the Divine. We were all made in pairs and to know the other is to know God and to know God is to know Love.

These connections are presented to you in order for you to ascend. Why were you chosen for ascension over millions of others? That’s the divine plan, not up to us to question. It is entirely possible to meet such a person at a time in your life when you’re completely spiritually unevolved (this is very common) and they usually trigger your dark night of the soul. This leads to positive disintegration although nothing about this experience feels positive in any way, shape or form.

Actually uniting with your twin and sharing a life with them is a long shot. Its often an unrequited love. It requires A LOT of work by both people. There is a lifetime of purging, integration and inner work before union could ever be a possibility. Most people who use the term “twin flame” are using a fancy spiritual label to describe their excessive interest in someone. You don’t have a twin flame, you’re just manic.

In Arabic literature, there are 7 stages to love, it is as follows:

1. Dilkashi or attraction

2. Uns or attachment

3. Mohabbat or love

4. Akidat or reverence

5. Ibadat or worship

6. Junoon or madness

7. Maut or death

If you believe you’re experiencing a twin flame connection, you have probably gone through these stages, maybe not in this order but you’ve probably experienced all of these.

You experience an inexplicable attraction that draws you to them, regardless of how far you stray from them, your heart clings to them & forms a deep attachment, even though you don't seem to understand it, you're consumed by love for them, without even knowing why, this love morphs itself into reverence and soon enough it's eclipsed even that & embedded itself as worship. Your feelings for them are so strong, intense and powerful even in separation, even in their absence that you feel yourself going mad. This madness is key because it brings you to the death of "self". You lose all sense of who you were before you met them. You're ripped of your ego. You die and die and die again, hoping to taste the love that will give life to you.

There are astrological indicators obviously but just because these aspects/placements are present, does not mean they are your twin flame. The biggest indicator is the deep sense of knowing you have in your soul, you don’t even have to know the word “twin flame”, you’re experiencing a magnetic, excruciating and tortuous kind of attraction.

Some indicators:

1. Venus in 12h

2. Venus in Scorpio

3. Primary Scorpio or Taurus placements (the Taurus-Scorpio axis creates the most intense chemistry between two people)

4. Moon conjunct Mars

5. Opposite signs occupying many placements (Virgo-Pisces, Cancer-Capricorn, Gemini-Sagittarius)

5. 7h synastry

6. Bharani nakshatra

Uniting with your twin can trigger your kundalini awakening. It is not for the faint of heart. Union is a very intense experience. Much has been said about twin flames and tantric sex. Imo? What we call Tantric sex is essentially the heightened feeling and intensity of sexual experience that a Tantric practice brings about. (its possible to feel this way with a non-twin if you have a disciplined Tantric practice).

Sex is the source and root of everything. It is the cause of creation and nothing less than divine. Eros is the first god that could be conceived by man, he is the creator of all beings and ruler of the universe. He is son of Chaos, the original primeval emptiness of the universe.

Longing, desire and Eros, all go hand in hand. When your soul has longed for someone for so long, the sheer passion and enormity of desire will make it a very one of a kind experience. Short answer being that sex with your twin will be out of this world and life changing.

In Sufism, there is a concept called baqaa which is subsistence through God. Someone who has experienced fanaa, or annihilation of the ego and self, finds God, unites with him and sees him in everything. This is what love of a “twin flame” nature does. It is all consuming and potent, you cannot walk away from it, even brushing with it briefly, transforms you. It purifies you and strips you of your pride, shame, fears and everything that you thought was “you” but the reward for this is understanding through first hand knowledge, a love so all encompassing, expansive, deep and profound that it forever alters the way you look at the world. You begin to love everything and everyone because you’ve tasted true love and its generosity.

Karmic Partnerships

These are extremely common and almost everyone has one. They need not strictly be romantic. Many non-romantic associations can be karmic. These people to put it very plainly, come into your life, to teach you lessons. They need not explicitly be “bad relationships” but the energy is definitely not light hearted and its absolutely not meant to last a lifetime. You are meant to learn your lessons and move on from them and break the karmic cycle. However there are people who do not do this and stay stuck in the same patterns and perpetuate the same cycles.

Some indicators of Karmic Partnerships in astrology:

1. 12h synastry

2. 8h synastry

3. Saturn aspects

4. Capricorn/Libra placements

Soulmates

These are the most wholesome, fulfilling bonds between two people. Soulmates need not always be romantic. The bond is kind of instant and inexplicable. You just get each other. It feels fulfilling, empowering and light. It fills you up. There is no angst and there’s no chaos.

Some indicators:

1. Moon signs that are compatible with each other

2. Moon aspects that are positive

3. Venus-Ascendant aspects

4. 5h synastry

5. Strong Venus or Jupiter aspects

6. Element compatibility (fire & air vs water & earth)

🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🦋🦢🦢🦢🦋🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🦋🦋🦢🦢🦢🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️

I’m sorry if I sound a little too esoteric on this post 😭😭😭idk how else to talk about this stuff and I tried my best to make it sound as simple as I could 😭I hope this was interesting and if you guys have any questions feel free to ask me💛💛

Further reading:

1. Plato’s Symposium

2. Sufi philosophy and poetry

3. Carl Jung’s works

#soulmates #twin flames #twin flame astrology #twin flame #soul mate connection #astrology #sufism #carl jung #bharani #vedic astrology #astro observations #soulmate indicators

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exilepurify · 1 year

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A small but crucial detail I really love about S3e12 and Reigen’s whole encounter with ??? is the fact that Reigen doesn’t break down until he lays eyes on Mob.

Reigen is calm and collected throughout the “earthquakes”, realizing that Mob’s causing the disaster, running after him, and braving his way through the tornado. He’s determined to reach Mob at all costs and never wavers or hesitates.

Reigen calls out to Mob when he sees his silhouette in the distance, but it’s not until Reigen struggles close enough to Mob to actually see the state he’s in that his composure crumbles.

And it crumbles. It’s the first time the audience has ever seen Reigen so openly upset. I am not exaggerating by saying that Reigen is genuinely desperate and distraught, and it happened the moment Reigen made visual contact with Mob.

And this isn’t even taking into account him breaking down into tears talking with Mob. This is just the start of the encounter.

I like this little detail so much because it accentuates the fact that Reigen truly didn’t have any idea what Mob was dealing with or holding inside. All of the evidence pointed to Mob being the cause of the disaster. Reigen knew on a logical level that this was Mob’s power at work (“But Mob’s in the center of that tornado, right?”). But I think Reigen still refused to believe it on a more emotional level. To Reigen, Mob can do no wrong. Reigen sees Mob with such a favorable tint, I’m sure in that moment everything seemed so unreal to Reigen that he couldn’t make himself believe Mob was capable of this.

But when he finally catches a visual of Mob in his ??? form, he sees Mob wrapped in a sinister red energy and absolutely monstrous, his shape blurry and poorly defined from his raw power distorting it into charcoal-like smudges, his face stuck in a pained grimace. ??? looks so out of place in the normal animation style that he seems otherworldly, like he belongs in a different dimension.

The only thing keeping Reigen in denial was not directly seeing Mob rampaging around the city. So when Reigen saw ???, the realizations and the gravity of the situation just hit him all at once and he flew into a desperate panic.

It just seems so like Reigen to downplay Mob’s ability to hurt, both himself and others.

I hope this makes sense lol i’m so tired

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 spoilers #reigen arataka #shigeo kageyama #mp100 analysis #mp100 meta #confession arc

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se1f · 5 months

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ramble #4

i am so, so grateful for the amount of love my last ramble received! thank you to each, and every one of you who interacted with that post!! <33 ever since that last post, i have been receiving quite a lot of asks regarding "materialization". this ramble is here to clear up any questions you may have :) this is based on my own experiences, and in no way the truth. but i hope with this post, many of you can point yourself in the direction that is fit for you :)

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

first- there is no such thing as materalization, or modifying the world. your current surroundings are just a seeming appearance, stemming from THAT. there is nothing actually occurring. do not rely on my words to figure out how. actually, prove it yourself. there is no ego, so why are you waiting to experience something through it to confirm "success" or "failure"? there is nobody here to get anything.

you may be thinking: "i have no idea how nothing exists, let alone myself. everything feels so real! this ramble has turned its direction, and is heading straight to crazy town!" well... if there were no (bodily) sensations- would you still know you exist? here's another hint: was there an effortless knowing of existence- even in the void of deep sleep? get it? ;)

for THAT, everything is instantly THAT. the only reason one may doubt the integrity of THAT, is because they rely on the illusionary senses (which is not what they are). any (other) appearance before the "ego", is just an illusion. why be bothered if you know all is an illusion, and IT already is? if you were able to "manifest" one thing, why wouldn't you be able to do XYZ? there is no difference between forms- "it is just one thing appearing as many"- @realitywarpingg

no separation "in" awareness:

" Teacher: Please look at the flower in front of us. Where exactly do you experience it? Not the physical location, but the place of experience. The light rays are converted into electrical signals in your body and then your mind sees it. So, you experience it within you. Do you follow?

Student: Yes, I understand the basic physics and since mind is part of me who is looking at the image of the flower, so I am looking at the flower within me.

Teacher: Good, now how far is your Awareness from the flower?

Student: Well, my Awareness is right there where flower is. There is no gap between my Awareness and the flower.

Teacher: Can you now close your eyes and imagine the same flower. Now, how far is Awareness from the flower?

Student: Same as before. Whether eyes are open or close, there is no gap between my Awareness and the flower.

Teacher: Great! Awareness takes the shape of the flower... there is no gap between you and the Awareness

Student: This is amazing! I am the Awareness."

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

confusion- or doubts are one of the many reasons why many persuade newcomers to not focus on the concept of materialization- but of basking in who you truly are. knowing THAT instantly disperses any worries and questions. when you reside in yourSelf (by letting go of the idea that your identity is shackled to just a body-mind) you will not have any questions. you already know what IS. do not let the mind get the best of you, by making you doubt what you know to be truth. the mind cannot even begin to comprehend THAT. no-thing can. not logic, words, feelings, etc.. because they are illusionary. the only thing illusions can do is point.

you cannot become what you already are. stop thinking that after a certain revelation, you will be absolute authority. you already are THAT. this knowledge has always been within us, the words of gurus or people, are not what mystically converts us from a human with 0 understanding to THAT. it only catapults us into lifting the veil for ourselves.

the mind will never be able to comprehend the incomprehensible. "realizing" THAT is instant. the only reason why we think it isnt, is because we are fooled by illusionary deceptions time and time again- leading us to think there is a "journey" to when we are above all concepts. there isn't :) just take everything around you for what it is. an illusion. how can an illusion overpower "truth"? (hint: it cant! only if you let it ;)

as always, take everything with a grain of salt, and go above all concepts/labels!! i hope you guys have a lovely weekend <3 btw, i have received a lot of asks, so it will take me some time to answer them all. but i do intend to do so!

#non duality #non dualism #consciousness #ramble

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shuttershocky · 14 days

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Is there any power scaling discussion that will inevitably make you feel the need to respond, no matter how irrelevant power scaling is to the actual media in question?

"How did Nero defeat Vergil at the end of DMC5 he's only 1/4th demon he should be much weaker wahh wahh plot armor"

First of all, Nero won because he wanted to win more than Vergil did. Second of all, Vergil's used to fighting an agile clown like Dante and not a brute gorilla like Nero who has no problem with just grabbing him and slamming him into the dirt repeatedly until he cries uncle.

BUT ALSO we know that human blood fuels demons in Devil May Cry. They have to consume it to grow their powers, which is why these guys keep powering all their infernal machinery with blood and why the tree whose fruit is kingmaker of the underworld must feed on human blood.

Before Nero, it looks like Vergil and Dante's strength came from being the sons of Sparda, who was Mundus' strongest soldier and was able to solo all of hell for his lady love.

But honestly I think a lot of their power comes from their nature as hybrids. When Urizen consumes the same fruit that made Mundus king of the underworld, he gets torn a brand new asshole by Dante working with an 8 year old's logic (if Vergil cut himself in two with the Yamato, maybe stabbing myself with Rebellion glues both my sides tighter?) and it actually works.

Not only is Dante's SIN Devil Trigger form written down in Nico's notes as matching (or even surpassing) Sparda's peak, he crushes Urizen both before and after the latter consumes the fruit containing human blood worth millions, completely mystifying the demon king because what the fuck kind of bullshit powerup is that?

Urizen's only able to match Dante's strength once V fuses his human self back into him to recreate Vergil.

I think being a demon-human hybrid basically acts like an infinite human blood battery. It's already inside you and never runs out because your body just makes more blood. The demonic side isn't granting the power, it's granting the abilities; the human side is the gas fueling this killing machine.

The whole time Sparda was turning on his own hell legions for Earth pussy he was unknowingly stumbling into the blueprint for creating unbeatable demonic super soldiers, and had no idea.

Every time Dante defeated the likes of Mundus or Argosax they must have been calling horseshit because there's no way they're getting destroyed by this buffoon just because he's Sparda's son when fighting skills aren't something you inherit like it's hair color, not realizing Dante's powers are fueled by his own blood (and plenty of self-stabbing).

This means that Nero is not inherently weaker than Vergil or Dante by having less demon in him, because it's the hybrid nature itself being their strength.

While Nero's powers aren't as mature as theirs, his demonic strength is enough to grab both Dante and Vergil's SIN devil trigger forms and push them back when they charged at full might, and in fact he's physically strong enough to lift giants like Goliath and ragdoll them around like their name is Bluto and he's just eaten a can of spinach.

Dante even points out at the end that Vergil cut off his own son's arm for more power and the son still kicked his ass anyway. By the end of DMC5 Nero doesn't need the Yamato anymore to do Buster moves, he can shape his own aura into arms to punch and grab things just as effectively, making him completely independent from actually using any devil arms to fight (he only needs human weapons like Lady does). He's strong enough that Dante trusts him with protecting the world by himself while Dante goes to hell, which is a big ask given you know, everything in DMC 1-4.

TL;DR - Nero strong

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genderkoolaid · 1 month

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I understand if this is not the kind of ask you usually get, but you sometimes post about youthlib so. How would one deal with disliking their peers and some slightly younger people as a young adult? I logically know that no age group is a monolith but I just mean, interacting a lot with people of my age and somewhat younger has really disillusioned me, I don't seem to find any happiness in being around most of them. I sometimes think of my own being a relatively young adult as negative. Im aplatonic and don't want friends and I was miserable when I tried to make myself make friends mainly with peers.

I only talk to people for specific reasons but may just generally joke around with them or make small talk briefly without forming a bond. My partners are mostly somewhat slightly older than me, but one is my age, and I like all of them more than I like other people. Other people I generally just see neutrally and don't wish for them to come to harm.

I think Ive often been annoyed by my peers due to not fitting in and sometimes being treated in toxic or abusive/bullying kind of ways by peers, or from sensory issues because they all talk so much you could probably hear them from another floor. I think its things like that that make me generally unable to feel positive about my peers, along with seeing so many rancid discourse takes online come from the young adults and teenager age groups.

And I understand how being around my age makes people vulnerable to harmful ideology too but its so tiring to see a shit take then see like '22' or '17' on the persons bio.

(Im 21 for reference)

I think it's important to recognize that our emotions and our political philosophies are not tied together. You don't need to feel the right feelings in order to advocate for youth liberation. If you accept these ideas intellectually, and you are cognizant of your emotions and how they affect you, then you can make the choice to not let those emotions shape your actions.

It's important to engage with people outside your age group (or the age group you spend the most time around), but that doesn't need to be friendship. It's alright to engage with others in your communities without wanting friendship. You know, intellectually, that there are young people who are quiet, not interested in friendship, have nuanced opinions on things, etc. It's good to expose yourself to proof of this, but you don't have to do that through feelings of love and friendship.

The Internet is full of shitty opinions and youth, so obviously you are going to see a lot of youth with shitty opinions. But there's plenty of adults with shitty opinions, and youth with solid ones. Confirmation bias is a tricky bitch. I would recommend focusing less on how you feel, & more about how you act. Don't pressure yourself to like your peers or befriend people when it makes you miserable. Put that energy into talking about ageism, fighting KOSA laws, and consciously combatting your own bias. Accept that you feel what you feel, ask yourself what you value, and then find what harmonizes those two.

#m.#ask box

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ay0nha · 10 months

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Some Unholy War | Theseus Scamander (IV)

SUMMARY: Theseus was always talented in thinking clearly. Logically. He wanted you to be wrong, but your instincts pushed you to keep moving. It was the only way to stay one step ahead of Sinclair. It contrasted Theseus’ plan to stay put within the walls of the Ministry. You contrasted his very being.

PAIRING: Theseus Scamander x f!reader

WORD COUNT: 1.1K

WARNINGS: canon-typical things, flashback of sorts, mutual pining, semi enemies-to- lovers, always a protective Theseus, SLOW burn, etc.

A/N: HELLO. Again, this took me longer than I would have liked. So, rather than rushing it, I’m going to break it up into two parts...I’m going to take a lil break to get my head together, but I’m v excited in how this second part is going to go!!! So, stay tuned...As always, thank you, @kalllistos. Comments are always welcomed. Enjoy.

PART I, PART II, PART III

Effort was a comical notion.

Magic required it at times, just as breathing did. The effort now felt good, worth it. The icy air that reached the ends of your lungs stung. Yet, each breath was quieter, the effort only coming in the form of physical mechanics of pushing a warm breath back out that the air around you marked.

“Are you mad?” Theseus’ exclamation hadn’t taken any exertion. The pent-up anger almost made you flinch. Theseus yelled after you as you continued forward. He never begged you to stop; he told you. Sometimes you’d listen just to display your wit.

You were quiet, entering the idyllic fog, hoping it would swallow you whole.

“Keep up….” Your voice was airy, the instruction more for yourself. The memory was faded, your mind trying to hold onto it as it threatened to slip between your fingers.

It started in Theseus’ office—a muddled memory overlapping with the friction of everything around you. It was more a feeling, something foggy and unrestrained that called you forward. It felt a bit like apparating, where your body didn’t quite belong for the moments it took to find your footing again.

You scolded yourself for not seeing it clearly; that was the thing about divination.

Although studied meticulously, its real trait was its vitality. It shifted and molded. Evolved. It made even more concrete things seem like rubber, rejecting electricity with an uncanny ability to mold into shapes unknown. It was the type of thing that could be so exciting to happen just to become something so vague that it no longer held value to it.

Theseus’ words were drowned out as your ears produced a ringing. All you could hear was your shaky breaths, and all you could see was a faint familiarity with your surroundings. Even your stumbling steps backward felt practiced.

Your breath became labored as the hazy recollection returned. Even through the blur, you saw how the tips of his ears and nose burned red with frustration. It was a trait of his that remained as he rose so many inches he towered over you, and his hair curled the longer her let it grow.

The years did nothing to change it.

“This is it….” Your fingers fumbled with a curl at the nape of his neck. His hair was long, longer than he usually kept it. Time had gotten the better of him. How could you be so blind?

Theseus’ tirade wavered. He was supposed to be angry. He was supposed to do so many things, but your touch felt like an enchantment. It reminded him of how dangerous you could be.

The walnut of Theseus’ wand was always stiff, but it cast its spells briskly and powerfully. Ollivander told him it wasn’t rare to be drawn to the material, but it scarcely paired with dragon heartstring. Because of the extreme dominance of this wood, the core was stoic and gentle and had done Theseus well from the moment he received it. Yet, pressed against your chest to stall your next step, it felt that even the wand knew it was a misguided action.

“Don’t be foolish, Theseus.” You spat at the gesture. His wand only pressed into your chest as if trying to will away his emotions. “Don’t you recognize where we are?”

He shook his head. If he looked beside him, he knew he would crumble.

You tried to reason, “We couldn’t stay there. The Ministry—

“We’re going back.” Although his voice was steady, emotion wavered in his eyes. “I won’t fall into your trap. You can’t just—

“It’s too late.” You pushed forward, the wood digging into your clavicle with drive. “I’m ruined anyways.” The invariability of the words reflected your decision. “By your hand or his.”

Theseus was always talented in thinking clearly. Logically. He wanted you to be wrong, but your instincts pushed you to keep moving. It was the only way to stay one step ahead of Sinclair. It contrasted Theseus’ plan to stay within the Ministry's walls.

You contrasted his very being.

“Why did you bring me here?” Anger drifted from Theseus’ voice, and the space it abandoned was soon tenanted by something else—a kind of endearment, muslin light.

Theseus first brought you there for a quiet you didn’t know you needed. It was ambient full of croaking creatures and twigs snapping from the pressure of unknown forces. It was a blissful oasis that lured you into its dark depths.

The environment was damp, still reflecting the country’s dreariness. It was hidden, though. A broken-off path Theseus—well, Newt—had stumbled upon in childhood. It was a good hiding place to play, to sneak, and for you to abuse.

“I didn’t see it coming.” It felt strange to admit your best-hidden secret. “Any of it.” Your eyes remained on Theseus, willing trust to transfer. “But I just couldn’t—I knew deep down, I couldn’t lose everything.”

One time, you came to read Theseus’ palm under the full moon—a silly excuse to feel the weight of his hand in yours. The times following grew, the touches still shy with adolescence but bolder in a discovery of emotion.

The memory was a shared favorite, an inside joke of sorts to make the other feel warmth in your fingers that spread to the center of your chest. You hadn’t meant to bastardize it, but its safety was all you could rely on.

“But this, I saw this.” You would continue until Theseus understood. You had told him of your vision all those years ago. It was your only justifiable proof. “This needs to happen.”

Recognition flashed across his features.

Theseus dropped his wand with a tight breath. Looking to the sky, he became lost in turmoil. Once his gaze hit the dirt beneath his feet, it did nothing to aid him. You watched his fingers pull through the hair at the back of his head as if unraveling an answer.

You spoke when his hand fit over his mouth in frustration. “You promised me.”

“We were teenagers.” He snapped, denying the truth. “What did I know about prophecies?”

“Enough to believe me.” You felt young again, begging Theseus to revert with you. You wanted to hear his reassurances, his bold-faced vows to remain by your side despite the trouble you found.

That holiday, you told him everything—your plans to run away, the images that flashed in your dreams of the future, and how he centered them all as an essential turning point. It spilled out of you, and you couldn’t stop. At the time, the swampy place was at the core unbeknownst.

If Theseus had known, he may not have regretted the promise to always be there for you. No questions asked. It sounded embarrassingly naive. You could still hear how desperately he wanted you to believe him. Even then, you knew it would lead to something like this.

Even then, just as now, you diminished how well Theseus knew you. “What aren’t you telling me?”

#q #theseus scamander x reader #theseus scamander fluff #theseus scamander angst #theseus scamander x f!reader #theseus scamander #theseus #scamander #fantastic beasts fic #theseus scamander fantastic beasts #newt scamander x reader

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