#like man why would you do that but also im the one that's spying on people for fun

[i-cant-sing]

To that one thought about the different monarchs YES TO ALL

Ahahaha im so glad so many people liked that idea (OG post here), so ive decided to work on it. So, lets set the story okay? (also btw do not @ me with historical inaccuracies and dates because i simply dont care about all of this that deeply). This AU will have multiple parts, where reader gets to travel through different time periods (and some of them will be real historic figures, others would be created by me).

Reader is a scientist, was working on her time machine (which is just a small box with time/year slots on it), and decides to travel to the past to solve some mysteries, or perhaps simply for the love of history.

So, where does reader travel to first?

1180. Landing right in the kingdom of Jerusalem. And who does she meet?

King Baldwin IV- the leper king.

Reader wanted to see how leprosy, a deadly disease at the time, had affected the king, who despite his conditions, still managed to possess great military strategies and IQ. And how even though his people knew about his outcome, still pledged their loyalty and unwavering support.

You, a scientist of the modern time ofc brought along futuristic gadgets with you. Knowing how youd look in your present era clothes, you wore a watch that allowed you to change into clothes of old times, to blend in easily. All of your gadgets were concealed easily because of their "invisibility cloak" feature.

You made your way towards the castle, making sure to not let awe be apparent in your face as you took in your surroundings, thinking of all the questions youd like to ask the wise king. Of course, you had to make sure you dont do anything to disturb the historic timeline, because then it just might lead to disastrous results.

Getting into the castle was easy, after all you had equipment to sneak you in undetected. You looked around as the servants rushed around, talking about making the arrangements perfect for the feast. You figured out that the feast was probably for another victory the king had gotten, which meant that everyone would be too busy to notice you snooping around.

With everyone engaged downstairs, you had your way up to the king's study, where you opened the door only to be met with a tall burly man standing there, looking surprised to see you.

"Who are you?" He barked, and you got the worst vibes from this man.

"Uh- Im a servant!" You said,backing up a little, just in case you needed to make a run. The man narrowed his eyes as he looked you up and down. "A servant? No servants are allowed in the king's study!"

"The king sent me here." You lied. "And why are you here if servants are not allowed?"

The man's eyes widened in rage before grabbing you by the neck. "Because Im not a servant, fool! I'm his brother in law!" He shook you hard. "And I dont think youre a servant, if you couldnt recognise me! I will have your head, spy!"

"GUY!" Someone yelled from behind you, making Guy look up as his grip around your neck loosened. "Let her go!"

"Your majesty, she's a spy-"

"She's a servant. I sent her up to retrieve my papers." Guy let you go, as you quickly turned around to see him- King Baldwin. You bowed to him as you gave him a glance, noticing his piercing gaze through his iron mask. His gaze shifted from you to Guy. "And what were you doing here, Guy?"

"I was looking for Sibylia, your majesty." He said.

"In my study? My sister is waiting for you downstairs. Go." Guy scrambled away with his tail tucked between his legs, while you watched as the king made his way into his study, leaving you outside.

You took a step back, about to leave-

"Well, come on in." He called you. You ponder over it for a second before walking in. Look, how many times can you meet a historical figure like him?

Baldwin was sitting in his chair, his eyes looking at you through his mask. "So, who are you and what were you doing here? And dont bother lying, unless you want to be tortured for attempted assassination on the king."

You bit your lip before sighing. "Im Y/n L/n." Clasping your hands together, you took a deep breath. "I came here because... I wanted to know about you."

He rested his chin on his palm. "Why? Do you not know about the king of Jerusalem? Where are you from?" He's not vain, but he knows that his numerous victories have made him popular over the years. So why do you not know of him? Or his brother in law, Guy, who is very vain.

"Im from nowhere. For as long as I can remember, Ive been travelling from place to another. Of course, Ive heard about you, but... I crave to know more." You said, partly telling the truth because you do want to know more about him.

His eyes remained on you, the same intense gaze. "And why should I allow you to know more? Do you mistake yourself to be worthy enough to even be in the presence of a king?"

Shit. He was trying to put you in the corner. You had to play this smart.

You smiled softly. "Of course not. Then again, none of us are worthy of anything God blesses us with." You paused, letting the words settle. "Your majesty, I only wish to know more about you because I like to write. I like to write about history, and when one day, God forbid, you succumb to your illness, wouldn't you like to be known for more than just your victories?" You'd read about how Baldwin IV was a fan of history and stories.

His eyes stared at you- no, through you. Unmoving, he replied. "Man shouldnt be so narcissistic to have someone write about his deeds."

You gave a nod. "Jesus wasnt a narcissist. Neither was Mary, nor Abraham. Muhammad wasnt a narcissist either, yet theyre mentioned in books- holy books, nonetheless."

The room fell silent for a few seconds, before he spoke. "True. But why should I have you write it, instead of using one of my scribes?"

"Precisely for the reason you just said." You raised your head a bit. "They'd write never ending praises for you, portray you as this omnipotent ruler, make you look like a narcissit even. I have a keen eye, your majesty. I like to look at what there is beyond the surface. If you let me be your scribe, I could write about details you dont even know. Id write about your strengths as well as weaknesses, for the generations to read and learn from you."

Baldwin remained still for a few moments before finally standing up, walking directly towards you until he was face to face. His blue eyes shining bright under his iron mask.

"I will let you write, under two conditions. First- I approve what gets to be in the book. And second... you spy for me."

"Wait, spy?"

He hummed. "Well, not a conventional spy. You wont have to leave this castle and penetrate enemy territories to eavesdrop. I still dont trust you enough. No- you- you will spy on my court. I want to know what is happening, when, where, and who says what." Under his mask, he raised a brow. "Do you accept?"

You pretended to hesitate, when in reality this was the exact situation you wanted to be in. "Hmm... yes. I accept."

"Good." He walks back towards his desk. "I expect that it goes without saying- complete discretion." You smiled. "Of course, your majesty."

-

Months passed by as you worked for the king. He let you in on details, allowed you to ask personal questions, and in return you kept an eye on everything that happened in court. Listening on to what the servants whispered to eavesdropping on "secret meetings" of the nobles- of course, headed by Guy. Oh how you loathed that vermin's guts. No- he had no guts. A spineless creature, who blatantly talked of the king's eventual demise and all the ways he'd make the kingdom flourish again, how he'd show "no mercy to Salauddin and his muslims". You have no idea how Sibylla was attracted to him- a man who plans her brother's demise openly.

As for the king, working with him- or for him, wasnt all bad. In fact, it was quite fun. The amount of stories, the secrets youve been able to discover- none of it could ever be found in any history book. Most of all, you respect Baldwin on a whole new level now.

His struggles, ever since he was kid- not being a legitmate ruler, his parents being forced to separate, then being diagnosed with leprosy but forced to keep it a secret, the competition with his other sibling to be the heir, and of course, even when he did become the king, he still had to prove his mettle- his worth that he's worthy of ruling even with his disease.

With his life expectancy being uncertain and a huge amount of responsibility being shovelled onto him, he had to learn a lot and master various skills in very short time.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Y/n could only imagine how isolated he must feel. Not being able to touch anyone, to have a significant other, to constantly win battles and do everything in your power to help the kingdom flourish, just for him to not even be alive to enjoy the fruits of his efforts. And worse, he's forced to give it away to his brother in law, that useless piece of shit.

Its one thing that confuses you about Baldwin. You know how persistent he is, how when he sets his eyes on something, he does everything in power and BEYOND to achieve it. For example, when he was only a child and had started to lose the ability to use his hands, he quickly learned to use his thighs to steer his horse. He did not let his disease hold him back, so how does a person as motivated as him simply allow his kingdom to be left in the hands of someone as incapable as Guy?

Then again, you suppose he's doing it for the sake of his sister. Baldwin adores Sibylla, and you could see why. Sibylla was his older sister, she took care of him, and she was forced to marry early because the court would only allow Baldwin to be king IF she were married, so that when Baldwin dies of leprosy, her husband could take care of the kingdom. Baldwin views it as the ultimate sacrifice, so even though he has tried to separate his sister from Guy, she has refused because she's in love with him.

God knows how. You wondered. Guy does not have any redeeming qualities, then again youre thinking like a 21st century woman. Woman of this time had the bar for men set below the deepest level in hell.

"So, what do you have for me today?" Baldwin asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts. You sighed, shaking your head. "Nothing new, really. Your brother in law, pardon my language your majesty, has been spewing shit about how he'll make the kingdom great again when you die. But when those nobles ask him how, he either has no answer and tries to cover it up by saying its a secret, or he'd say something so ridiculous- his ideas are bound to not only fail, but actually destroy the kingdom even more. I am surprised he doesnt give himself a headache by his own voice. God knows i get one whenever he opens his mouth." You complained, rubbing your temples making the king chuckle. Baldwin seemed to enjoy how informally you spoke.

"Guy is... something else. I apologise on his behalf." You could sense him smiling under his mask. You gave a small smile, but truthfully, your head was actually hurting a lot. You could only hope this was not a migraine developing.

"Would you like tea? Or wine?" He asked as he called in a servant. "Just water for me, thank you." You said, closing your eyes for a few moments as the sharp ache in your head increased.

Baldwin's eyes remained on you, a calculated gaze. "Are you alright? Should I call in the physician?" You shook your head. As if you could trust physicians of this time. "No, I'll be fine after I sleep." You have some medical potions with you that could heal your basic diseases and pains. A gift of modern medicine. But you'll have to use it discreetly, lest someone from this era discovers it and calls you a witch.

The servant soon brought in a chalice filled with water for you and you immediately took a sip of the cool water. Baldwin stood up as he walked over to the window, looking out into the dark night.

"Can I ask you something personal?" You asked. He hummed. You stared at his back, the white cloak he was dressed in. "Do you think if you never had this disease, would you still be a great king? A king who is so motivated to make his kingdom as successful as he can before his time is up?"

He looked back at you, and for a second you wondered if you had slighted him. But these past few months, you've learned to read his body language, despite how hard he conceals both himself and his thoughts.

"No." He said, turning back to the window. "I probably would've been a spoiled brat, I don't think I would've even been chosen to be king. I would've lost it to my half brothers." He tilted his head as he looked at a particular star in the sky. "I suppose my disease is a blessing. God blessed me with it to humble me. Had He not, I probably wouldn't be religious."

"And is that how you see your suffering? A blessing from God?" You asked as you pulled out the medical vial from your cloak and poured it in your chalice. Your headache had started to pulsate now and you needed this.

"I do. I have to serve my people, and my suffering has brought me closer to them and to God. And even with my disease, I was made a king. Isn't that divine intervention? My purpose on earth?" He said almost monotonously, as if he's had this conversation a thousand times.

You took sip of your medicated water, headache immeadiately reducing in intensity. "So... if you had the chance, would you still be the leper king? Or would you be healthy but... not a king? Just a man who gets to experience life like the rest of us, eat normal food, play with others, walk without having to wear a mask, or even fall in love?"

He remained silent, but his shoulders dropped ever so slightly. Tired? Or defeated?

"I prefer not to think about things I have no control over, Y/n." He finally turned around and his blue eyes looked at yours, though this time, there was something else swirling in them. "Finish your water and head to bed. I don't think you're well enough to tell me a story tonight." You smiled gratefully. Over these past few months, the king had enjoyed the modern world stories you told him. Some were literature classics, like Romeo and Juliet, others were straight up fanfic plots with details missing because he wouldn't have understood them anyways.

You were about to pick up your chalice when suddenly Baldwin fell to the ground.

"Your Majesty!" You rushed over to him, watching him tremble on the ground as he struggled to breathe. You dropped to your knees and attempted to remove his mask, only for him swat your hand away.

"No! You'll get it too!" He said, his eyes screwing shut in pain. He was worried about you contracting leprosy.

"Just- trust me." You pursed your lips as you moved his hand away and removed his mask, before removing the white veil underneath it, which was there to prevent his peeling skin and sores from sticking to the iron mask.

You didn't gasp when you saw his disfigured face. No, you'd seen it already when they constructed his face using modern technology. You touched his forehead with your palm, noticing how warm it was. This was one of his leprosy fevers, it was serious and quiet painful. But you already know he doesn't die until 1185 and it's still 1180.

"I'll go fetch the physician-"

"No!" Baldwin yelled, struggling to breathe. "No- just-" He suddenly whimpered as pain shot through every fiber of his body, making him dig his heels into the ground. Your heart wrenched at the sight.

"Its- too- hot- i-" you looked around before grabbing your chalice and bringing it to his lips, holding his head in your lap, you helped him drink the water. He drank it all, his forehead now covered in sweat and his face still contorted in pain. You held his hand and squeezed it.

"Its okay, Baldwin. I'm here. I'm right here." You whispered, his head resting in your lap as you gently wiped his forehead with your sleeve.

Baldwin stared up into your worried eyes, and that was the last thing he saw before he passed out.

-

Baldwin woke upto screaming. Opening his eyes, his blurred vision slowly cleared upto watch you and Guy screaming at each other, the latter had his hand clawed into your hair.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOURE TALKING TO, YOU WENCH?!" Guy yelled as he shook you harshly.

"A SPINLESS BEING NOT WORTHY OF BEING CALLED A MAN!" You spat back, eyes red with rage.

Guy's eyes widened at the insult before he raised his hand to strike you, but was stopped by Baldwin.

"Guy! Let her go!" Both of your heads snapped towards the king.

"Y-your Majesty?" Guy couldn't believe his eyes. He survived?

"I said- let. Her. Go!" Baldwin commanded as he stood up and walked over to them, making Guy immeadiately let you go and bow to him. Baldwin's eyes landed on you, and you gave him a small bow.

"Leave." Baldwin commanded, eyes fixed on you.

Guy looked up from his his bowing position. "Your Majesty, I'm so glad you're well-"

"I said, LEAVE!" Baldwin's voice boomed, his eyes never leaving yours. Guy scrambled put of the room quickly, and you started to leave as well, but Baldwin grabbed your wrist.

"Not you." He said, those blue eyes piercing into you. "I- how long was I out?"

"2 weeks." You replied.

Baldwin let out small gasp as he let go of your hand and slowly walked towards the mirror in his room. It was quiet for a minute.

"What... happened?" He asked, looking at his reflection.

"Well, after you fainted, I called in the physicians and they took you to your chambers. They had prepared some medication but were hesitant to apply it on you, fearing they'd contract your disease. So, I convinced them to let me do it since I had already touched you. When I was done, your sister, princess Sibylla and Guy came. Guy asked the physicians when you would be dying, and the physicians said a few days and that this time- you may not wake up from your fever. While your sister broke down, and honestly I'm not trying to create problems for you guys, but you could ask anyone and they'd tell you just how much Guy beamed at the news. Anyways, they both left soon after that. Things were quite for a week, with the physicians coming in to give me the medication to apply on you. Then-" you paused trying not to show your frustration in your voice. "In the second week, Guy started fussing around and throwing tantrums since you didn't die yet. I mean, I was in your room but I could still hear him yelling at the physicians outside about how his coronation was being delayed because you were still here. It pissed me off, but you know me- I'm not one to get into family matters. So I didn't do anything. Then today-! Ugh, he came in while I was in your bathroom and I saw him grabbing a pillow and bringing it near your face. He stopped when I chucked your bible at him- so sorry about that but it was nearest thing next to me- and I just asked what he was doing. And do you know what he said? He had the nerve- THE NERVE to say 'I'm just trying to end his suffering, in fact you should do it. I can't risk contracting leprosy, I'm the future king!' And then I chucked your golden cross at him- again very sorry for that. And then we got into an argument and well- that's what you woke up to."

It was quiet again. You looked at Baldwin staring at his reflection, and for a moment, you thought he wasn't listening to you.

Baldwin nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Y/n. You may go to your room now. I will send in some physicians to check if you've contracted leprosy."

You frowned. "I havent-" but you stopped. How were you supposed to explain to him that you're "vaccinated".

In the mirror, his eyes shifted to you. "I know, but I'd like to know for sure. For my peace of mind."

You nodded. "Look, I'll go apologise to Guy right now-"

"No. There's no need. I'll talk to him myself. You've done enough. Please go to your room and wait for me." Baldwin gave you a small smile and watched you leave.

Moments later, he had a guard fetch the head physician in, who confirmed your story.

"Its true, your Majesty. Y/n risked her life to be with you for the past 2 weeks. She didn't leave the room and would apply medication on you herself, changed your clothes, wiped your sweat and even fed you some soup herself. She seemed very determined- almost as if she knew you'd recover. I'm ashamed to admit that I... I did not think you would." The physician even confirmed all the shit Guy had been doing, but Baldwin didn't need anyone's testimony to know that Guy was planning his downfall- and celebrating it. He wasn't surprised by that.

He was surprised by 2 things:

1. You hadn't contracted leprosy.

2. He was recovering from his disease.

"Its true. As you'd asked, I had done a check up on Y/n and I did not find any signs of leprosy... or any disease. She's as fit as can be!" The physician said in awe.

Baldwin smiled at that, looking at the mirror again. His own skin had begun healing. Many of his sores had already disappeared, and his complexion was returning to normal. And physical appearance was one thing, but Baldwin could even feel himself healthy on the inside. That constant ache in his bones was gone, the fatigue was gone, the suffering was gone.

But how? How could it just go away like that?

It's been 2 days since he woke up, and his health only seems to be improving at an exponential rate. And he's still trying to figure out how he got well out of nowhere. Closing his eyes, he tried to recall the events of that night.

All he remembers is falling down, fever enveloping his body so quickly, he felt like he was burning up, and then you were there and you helped him drink-

Baldwin eyes snapped open. It made sense.

He called in the guard and had him fetch his senior council members in his court room.

"I have 2 surprises for you." Baldwin said as he sat on his throne, looking over the members (Sibylla and Guy were also present), all staring and perhaps gawking at how well he looked now. "My disease is cured. I no longer suffer from leprosy." The court immeadiately fell into whispers and mutterings before going silent when he raised a hand. "I know it sounds impossible, but as you can all see, my health has not only improved but in fact I have become stronger. My body is no longer ridden with sores and boils. I no longer wear a mask, neither do I require assistance in walking. In fact, I am even able to use both of my hands to not only use a sword but also-" He pulled out a dagger and aimed it an apple he threw in the air, piercing right through it. "- I am no longer blind in one eye."

The court erupted in cheer, congratulating the king and praising God for saving Baldwin and the kingdom. From his throne, he could see Sibylla clapping in joy and wiping tears from her eyes as she smiled at him, while Guy looked at him in shock.

"Your majesty! What's the other surprise?" One of the members asked.

Baldwin smiled as he stood up.

"I have found a wife. She's the one who healed me."

He looked at the court that had once again erupted into cheer.

"Jerusalem has a new Queen."

-

"What do you mean I can't leave?" You asked the guard who was stationed outside your door.

"Ma'am, as I said before, the king has asked you to wait for him and ordered us to not let you leave until he comes." He said before closing the door again.

You scoffed. Can't leave? Why the hell not?

It's probably because I insulted Guy. He wants to punish me because of that. Will he throw me in the dungeons? Or will he just have my head chopped off?

You pulled out your time machine, the small box in your hands.

Well, I'm not sticking around to find out. Time to leave-

Just then, you heard the door open, making you hide the machine again. Is he finally here?

"Princess Sibylla." You bowed.

She chuckled, grabbing your shoulders. "Now, now. There's no need for that. In fact, I have to be the one bowing to you now." She said before kissing your cheeks. She's always been very humble and kind, and over the past few months, you've developed a good friendship with her.

You gave her a quizzical look. "What do you mean?" She laughed again. "Oh come on. You don't have to hide it anymore. Tell me, how did you persuade Baldwin to marry?"

"The king is getting married? To who?"

Sibylla raised a brow at you. "To-"

"Sibylla." A voice cut her off.

Baldwin was standing at your door. You bowed quickly, he looked at you before shaking his head at his sister.

"Will you leave? I have to talk to Y/n."

Sibylla nodded as she walked towards the door, but not before giving him a hug and congratulating him.

You two were alone now.

Baldwin had his hands clasped behind him as he walked closer to you.

"How are you feeling?" You asked him, eyes shifting to his hands. Is he holding a knife? To punish you for insulting Guy?

"I'm well, all thanks to you." He replied.

"Huh?" You looked at him confused, but your mind was still occupied with his hands. What is he hiding?

I need to delay this and find an escape route to use my time machine. You thought.

"Um- I uh- I heard you're getting married." You gulped, eyes still fixed on his hands, trying to anticipate any sudden movements.

"I am."

"Oh um, congratulations."

"Thank you." Baldwin said, tilting his head slightly at your wide eyes fixed on his hidden hands.

Cute.

"Y/n." He called out to you.

"Look, if you- if you're still mad at me about what I said to Guy, I apologise. But- but just so you know, I- I DONT THINKS ITS GOOD OMEN TO MURDER ME BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED!"

"Y/n."

"I WILL HAUNT YOU-! IM SORRY BUT I WILL AND I WILL HAUNT YOUR WIFE AND YOUR KIDS-"

"Y/n!" You looked at him as he stared at you with amusement. "You're being ridiculous."

"Huh?"

With one hand, he cupped your cheek as he brought himself closer.

"Why would I kill my soon-to-be wife?"

What? Wait-

"What?!" You shrieked backing away. "What kind of joke is that?!"

Baldwin looked insulted. "I wouldn't joke about this. You're very important to me."

"No- I- what?!"

He sighed as he sat on your bed. "Well, it makes sense, doesn't it? You saved me from an incurable disease, clearly you're the Chosen One, sent to me by God, and now I'll marry you."

You looked at him perplexed. "What are you talking about?! Saved you? All I did was help you drink water, apply your medication and-" you paused.

Helped him drink water... from my chalice... the one with... the medicinal vial.

"No." You covered your mouth in shock. What have I done?! This would change history completely! Shit. Shit. shit shit shit-

"Yes. You dont have to be so worried. The council is actually quiet happy that Im marrying someone, and they agree that there is no better match than the woman who saved my life-"

"I did not save your life!"

"Of course, you did. You gave your chalice-" "How is that even possible?! It only had water!" "Water that touched your lips first. Of course, it mustve been your essence, your saliva that healed me-" "Ew, no. Do you even yourself?! This is all unbelievable!"

Baldwin furrowed his brows slightly. "Its... not. I mean, look at you. You spent weeks taking care of me, you touched me, and yet did not even show signs of any illness, let alone leprosy! Of course, youre the chosen one!"

"I am not the chosen one!" You yelled as you pulled at your hair frustratedly. How could you fuck up so bad? If Baldwin really is cured, then history will be changed- and it will have disastrous impacts on future-

Baldwin pulled your hands away from your hair, tutting at you. "Dont do that. Youre the Queen, you cant hurt yourself."

"I am not the Queen."

He nodded. "Yet. But you are a princess now." Baldwin said as he pulled out the box hed been hiding behind his back all this time. Before you could even react, he'd already pulled out the big gold ring with a sapphire that had tiny diamonds around it and he slipped the ring onto your finger. You gawked at the ring making him chuckle.

Baldwin bent down to kiss your forehead sweetly before tapping your cheek admonishingly.

"Now, no hurting yourself princess. I want my queen in perfect health." Your cheeks reddened at how close he was, making him laugh even more as he pecked your forehead again and turned to leave.

You couldn't even say anything, he'd left you speechless. He looked back once, a lazy smile on his face.

"I should leave you to rest now, before Sibylla returns and starts pestering you with wedding preparations. She told me that shed been looking forward to this day for a very long time."

so this is part 1. thoughts????

PART 2 here!

#yandere baldwin #yandere king baldwin #yandere leper king #yandere baldwin iv #male yandere #bnha headcanon #yandere male #tw yandere #yandere #yandere x darling #male yandere x reader #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios

[juicywritinghoard]

prompts to shake things up

I didn't know you wore glasses and I'm thinking normal and platonic thoughts about you right now I swear

I'm going to take over the world and no one can stop me not even y- okay well if you ask nicely I guess

you say childish like it's a bad thing but I see you eyeing that life size Pokémon plush don't kid yourself 

be honest are you crying about the commercial with the kitten in it

this marriage was supposed to be a scam but, but listen,

soooo *twirling hair and fluttering eyelashes* why does everyone think you're a freak

I know I'm your doctor and the horns growing in overnight was kind of a surprise but why do you want them removed those are sick as hell

babe. my love. song in my heart. are you purring 

okay so if you want me to rescue you from up there you have to try to come with me--okay I guess I'm picking you up

I have never been this sick before I'm sorry did I, haha this is so weird, but did I confess my love for you? f- four times? yeah? haha oh

every time you taste my cooking you just say it's amazing does it need more salt or not I swan to John

oh it's nothing it's just. you sing when you're happy and the place has been so quiet for so long, and I heard you- nevermind,

you frost cookies like you're neither left or right handed but a third other hand that you don't actually possess and I can't stand it (affectionate)

I don't think you understand how much your good morning texts legitimately keep me from rotting in bed all day 

you must be pretty down if me juggling your oranges doesn't even get a laugh out of you :( should I light them on fire? 

no I see the super powers yeah I just, I'm not sure you got them from your medication, yeah, and would you say that's a negative side effect or

you bought me a SWORD? OH MAN IM GONNA BE SO DANGEROUS 

ooh what's this potion do? coffee? that's a funny name. what happens if I press this button? humans are so fascinating this is the best I hope I never go home

you've been blinking SOS in Morse code at me for ten minutes honey this award ceremony is supposed to be honoring you 

when we kiss I feel like I'm floating, like literally gravity stopped working on me please don't let go?? also another kiss wouldn't hurt just saying 

so it was YOU who took a full bite out of that stick of butter!! please. please. why??

let's go on vacation somewhere cheesy and act like we're a couple wouldn't that be sooooo funny haha

okay so sleeping it off didn't work. let me consult my list. hypnotism, no. meditation, certainly not. well something has to work because I simply cannot be in love with them

I'm a spy. i can do unspeakable crimes under the morally bankrupt cover of night but I'm not sure I can pretend to look at real estate as a couple with you 

my love is your arm stuck in the claw machine. you were going to steal that prize for me?? oh my gosh. let me rescue you and also show you how to actually do this

#writing prompts #writing ideas #prompts #prompt list #rp prompts #rp ideas #creative writing #writing inspo #writing inspiration #otp prompts #roleplay prompts #prompt meme #writing prompt #story ideas #rp starters #romance prompts #writing #writeblr #story prompt #trope prompts #fic inspo #fic inspiration #fanfic inspo #fanfic inspiration #fanfiction prompts #fanfiction ideas

[szollibisz]

Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)

Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.

I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.

For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)

I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.

I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.

As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.

It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)

I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.

It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)

When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)

He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.

He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.

Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.

This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.

So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot

1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay. This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them. Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for" He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.

2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment) This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways) They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks. Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other. In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects. This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it

3. Possibly drunk hookup Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means. They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option) The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches. This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually. Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking. The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)

Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.

In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.

I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.

#spies are forever #tin can bros #saf #owen carvour #agent curt mega #szol's spy rambles #curtwen #tcb #hoooo boy this was very long. sorry #edit: pasted this into word it's 1.4k words. again: sorry

[queerfortress2]

Hope your day is lovely so far 💕 I was wondering if I could request headcanons, perhaps, the Support Class (or just Sniper and Spy) getting into a heated argument with reader? Like, how they handle it, who apologizes first, how it would play out, yk?

I'm such a sucker for tear-jerking angst to cheesey comfort, it isn't even funny. Your writing is so good, love all of it so far! ❤

aww hell im a sucker for that type of stuff too, its just too fun to write — mod engie

GN!READER X SUPPORT CLASSES ; ARGUMENT

MEDIC

i think it’s not as hard to get into an argument with this man, he always wants to be right, it’s kinda hard to disagree without arguing for at least 10 minutes with this man

he’s just that stubborn!

however fights usually end quickly, he’s a lot more logic-based in argument and not so much focused on the emotional aspect of it, so once he can’t find anything else to say, he will simply end the argument, concluding it all fancy-like

One day both you two had gotten into an argument, Medic had been staying in work later and later as the days progressed and as a loving partner you of course got concerned with it! as much as you two argue over stupid little things and get over it, you couldn’t just get brushed off over something like this, so you continued pressing "And who cares? Work is important, more important than you seem to understand, I can’t just quit halfway—" His hands gestured as he spoke, he accent getting thicker as he seemed to stress more on the argument, he wanted to end it quickly, as he usually does. "Aren’t I important too? You can’t keep ignoring it— You’re barely home! I deserve to know a little bit too!" Now that was a decent point, pulling at heart strings but, Medic wasn’t an emotional person. "And so? My work is none of your business! If anything at all— Who are you to question it! You don’t understand any—"

medic wasn’t an emotional person but it was clear he could understand your worry and how emotion seemed to cloud your vision, while he thinks he’s perfectly in the right (which he usually isn’t), he understands you can get hurt. Which is why he silenced himself upon seeing your upset expression, however it’d been too late, you’ve already decided to leave the room.

he just gave you time. if he did come after you immediately it would only rekindle the argument and made it worse— he realises this, and so he only leaves you alone.

depending on where this is, will be how long he waits. if you’re a fellow mercenary he just decides to catch you the next morning, if you’re not, then he will usually give you 10 minutes before searching for you and trying to "apologise".

going to be completely honest, he also just isn't the man to apologise... he would either (depending on the context) tell you you're wrong but he forgives you for it, or shy away from admitting defeat and just comforting you instead, saying he didn't mean whatever harsh words slipped his mouth at the time

medic lovers.. this yo man?

SNIPER

he is a lot calmer about it, and probably gives the best apologies out of the three

he can easily realise if hes wrong and unlike medic, his ego isn't that far inflated to where he can't man up and apologise to you.

fights probably don't last long with him, i would imagine him to be the one who avoids it, and if it does come up, it has to be something hes extremely passionate about for him to seriously argue with you, otherwise its just fun and games, bickering over something stupid.

assuming you were a mercenary, maybe after a battle if you were extremely reckless and he saw through his lovely ol' scope, he would confront you after. not in public of course, but somewhere like your own quarters or his van.

"Now—" He held the bridge of his nose, have you seated in front of him. His free hand on his hip, gripping his side as he tried not to seem to angry with you. "Do you know what coulda happened to ya' out there? Bloody hell— You coulda been blown to pieces!" It was clear you didn't mean to, but he still wanted you to be safe, even with the respawn, it hurt to see you die in so many ways. He didn't want to witness it over at over again. At least you didn't have to see how many spies got him, or how the enemy sniper caught him out of his element. "Cmon! Look at y'self, so what if you were barely scathed, I still had m'self on end! Quit thinkin' about only yourself for once in a damn while!" Now he wasn't quite sure how harsh it looked to you, borderline yelling at you for what you thought was good fun, but once you stubbornly stood up and beelined for the door, he realised he was still a bit in the wrong there. Gently grabbing your arm, his frown softened from one that was of anger to one of pity.

he apologised upfront, he was quick to fix himself, and he only expects the same from you whenever you upset him. its just how healthy relationships go, no matter how cooped up he is, he was still raised right enough to understand what is morally right. hes professional, and professionalism contains being polite don't it?

im a little bias i love myself some sniper

SPY

don't even

like genuinely dont start arguing with this guy i dont think he would even apologise

like you would have to ask for one to get one outta him

mostly because he always thinks hes correct, even its so clear that hes not, he has a reputation to keep! so he more often than not refuses to accept the fact hes incorrect, and stubbornly keeps his opinion

so in the situation where he would argue with you, he would never accept he was in the wrong even if you were bawling at him. ...but he would comfort you, hes not that bad of a partner.

he would ease the conversation away from the argument and focus more on your tears, saying something along the lines of 'oh dont waste your beautiful tears on something like this, mon trésor.' or 'ah.. n'inquiète pas ta jolie petite tête pour ça, mon amour'

honestly hes trying to sway you away from being mad at him, even if he wants to be right, he still is very much your lover and wants to keep it that way. you being mad at him almost makes him feel bad enough to apologise

almost

after each argument i believe he would coax you into getting in bed with him and just relaxing together, sleeping away whatever ails you.

going to be honest i don't know what else to write for spy, he just isn't the type to apologise to you after an argument, hes SOOO stuck up. also my formatting broke three times while writing this so if you see a mistake, no you dont.

#mod engie #tf2 spy x reader #spy x reader #tf2 x reader

[ruthytwoshakes]

Bunch of two fort ladies hell yeah B)

headcannons of inconsistent length below the cut

Zhanna: reeeeeeoow!!! She’s so gorgoryse . gay as hell about all these women tbh. Yeah I just gave her body hair and thicker eyebrows because it’s cool as fuck. And a bear claw scar from when she tried to take home a baby bear when she was little. I think she really likes bears and wants one as a pet. Maybe the bear and soldier’s raccoons would get along aww <33

Admin: yipppeee evil old lady!!!!! . Gave her acne scars , think she would pick her face when she was younger and the scars never faded. shes so pretty heruhghhsg. She smokes these fucked up super long cigarettes idk. I like her wonky nose, maybe she got into a fight or something and broke it.

Scouts Ma: oh man I have so many ideas for her hehehhe. Okay so her name is Jenny, shes Puerto Rican, moved to Boston when she was a young adult, and she’s around the same height as sniper. She’s green because she’s both the scouts mother, and I didn’t want her to be purple like Pauling and Admin I wanted her to be her own person. Her heart locket contains a bunch of pictures of her boys that all cartoonishly fold out to the floor when she opens it up.

She’s bi and poly, and currently dating both the spies because I think it’s funny. I can’t decide if both the spies would also be dating each other or would hate each other, maybe it depends on the time of day. Oh also she used to be an assassin! Maybe that’s why she had to move because she got found out at her old hometown. Anybody who got too rough with her boys were never seen again, only reason the scouts made it out alive lol.

She’s only recently gotten back together with the spies, had a falling out with Red before she knew she was pregnant, but he wanted to reconnect with her after finding out Red scout was his kid. Blu and her were friends for a really long time, she was the surrogate mother to Blu scout, but they fell out of contact when Blu spy had to take scout and disappear due to some espionage work gone wrong. When both the Blus join the team, the red scout recognized them and Blu spy eventually reconnected with Jen through that.

All of her kids are out of the house and she’s retired, so she has a lot of free time. She hosts foreign exchange students and fosters baby animals. She does a lot of traveling and shopping, she also likes knife and axe throwing, while doing some abstract sculpting on the side.

Maggie:

I love Maggie she’s so interesting,, I really like the panels where she’s laughing with saxton on the plane. Oh yeah gave her a mustache cus she’s Australian!, don’t be shy give the pretty lady a mustache she deserves it. That line on her lip was from this one girl I had a crush on back in high school, she said that she was bullied for it. don’t think I’ve ever seen it on another person since. She was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met. I hope she’s doing alright. She was a really good friend, real wonderful person.

Merasmus:

hi Merasmus how r u. oh yeah I’m trying out some other designs for her because I’m working on a little animated series about her and a magic spell she fucks up. I want her to be Sumerian because Sumer is so interesting!! I’ve been learning about the art from it in class, check out the Sumerian virtue status or the Epic of Gilgamesh they’re some of my favorite bits of history we’ve learned so far. Oh yeah also I think when she takes off that weird cap thing she has the longest most beautiful curly hair that goes down to her ankles because I love those kind of visual gags hehe. Also yeah she has piercings idk why I did that. I think she’s kinda blind and she uses her skull to see with her magic or whatever. I love her facial expressions in the comics,, have you guys seen the cunty Merasmus poster i love the cunty Merasmus poster

Miss Pauling:

MISS PAULFIJF LETS FUCMIGN GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s got sideburns because im a dyke bleh blehhhh . hshe look at her big ass glasses I’m in love. Oh yeah I gave her lots of moles! And changed up her sleeve colors. Too tired to write much more lol

#tf2 fanart #zhanna #tf2 administrator #scouts ma #tf2 maggie #merasmus #miss pauling #tf2 headcanons #daffys drawings

[whole-circus]

Hello!! May I please ask for something along the lines of… Like, several creepypasta characters (like EJ, Toby, etc-) with a gender neutral s/o who usually covers their body head to toe, like, not even leaving a piece of their skin out in the open, maybe mostly due to some deep seeded insecurities,, or they got some bodily deformities,,, or both— But they let their creep see them without all the clothing after maybe like a month or two of being in a relationship???

(You don’t have to do this one of course, I just really like your writing, I also hope you have a nice day/night!!!)

Creepypastas x gn.reader that covers their body!

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, "Ticci" Toby, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned, Laughing Jack

Hi hello love! Sorry you waited a lot! :(

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Jeff the Killer

Oh? S/O? Is that really you? Jeff is pretty suprised - but he doesnt complain! Im pretty sure he would try to get you uncover yourself earlier because he is stupid and a meanie. But when you done that yourself? He is relieved, he would be scared that you are maybe afraid of him? Maybe he did something wrong..? Like lets be real, he is a serial killer, he wouldnt blame you. Ofc he would never say that out loud. But when he sees your body, he doesn't feel any diffrent about you - no matter what you were hiding. If you were insecure then he would be way nicer to you, showering you in kisses..maybe even more close activities..because he loves you for you.

☆ Homicidal Liu

Doesn't mind that you cover your body a lot, and doesn't really mind when you showed him - dont get me wrong, he loves that you feel comfortable and trust him that much, but he never wanted to push you. Also! Even if he finds you really attractive, then he is is in relationship with your for your amazing personality. But when he sees you? Man, I mean he doesn't complain. You are still the prettiest person he has ever seen! No matter what were you hiding - if it was just some insecurities or deformation! He would place kissess all over your body and complement you even more often (is that even possible??).

☆ 'Ticci' Toby

Curious boy!! There is a high chance that he actually aksed you about it..or! He didnt even noticed, he just..dunno, were with you and didnt thought about it. Why are you always so covered head to toes? Are you a spy? Maybe a magic creature? What are you hiding silly..? If you finally show your body and explain, he will be even more in love! Like you are such a dummy, he loves you anyway - no matter if you actually were hiding something like deformation, or if you were insecure. He would kiss all your bad thoughts away! I totally see Toby saying all this lovey-dovey stuff, he would be your number one supporter!

☆ Eyeless Jack

He noticed the way you always dress in a lot of clothes, no matter the weather..or how you try not too look into mirror whenever you pass them. Jack sense that something is wrong, and that you hiding something. He propably thought that its all becasue of him - are you scared? Disgusted? Maybe you didn't feel safe with him? The situation were killing you both, so he was so relieved when you told him the reason! Jack is a grown ass men, and no matter what were you hiding, he doesnt care. Like come on, he is literally a demon, there is no way you could scare him away! He would be even more clingy to you, caring about your well being and always put you first.

☆ Ben Drowned

Ben can be a huge tease about how you dress, he would make a lot of this sex related jokes, so it wasnt easy to you. No worries, he loves you a lot, you are his bestfriend and partner..but he was wondering what is wrong. At first he thought that its just your style (he doesn't judge, he is a ghost himself!!), but you were always covering your body so he got more suspicious. But when he finally sees your body? When you finally tell him what was wrong? He was glad you cared so much about him, that you were so trusting. He wouldn't make a big deal out of it - like oh, you look pretty..now wanna play with him? Ben made you place already..(this place is definitely his arms tho!)

☆ Laughing Jack

Jack is really touchy, he just clings to you like koala and its hard to make him stop. So its pretty obvious that he noticed how you were a bit distant sometimes, always making excuses and stuff. He was pretty miserable because of that, you are his S\O ..he wants you to feel safe and comfortable around him.. So he start asking a lot of questions, most of them were pretty random, druing normal conversations. But he waited..and it was totally worth it - he immediately hugs you and give you a lot of kisses! He would spend hours and hours praising and worshipping you..no worries, he has all the time in the world!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

#slasher #slasher x reader #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #jeff the killer #jeff the killer x reader #jeffrey woods #homicidal liu #homicidal liu x reader #jeffery woods #liu woods #horror #headcanon #ben drowned #ben drowned x reader #ej x reader #eyeless jack #eyeless jack x reader #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack #lj #ej #fluff #comfort #crp #fandom #creepypasta fandom #wholecircus

[thisisnotkitty]

hello securitywaiter nation have you thought about ness being abby’s teacher bc I HAVE

below the cut because i can't shut up ever :D

-abby does well enough in school academically but is still needs some work in the socioemotional dept

-when she starts a new school year mike is a bit worried but then she comes back home absolutely ecstatic and mike is like “okay this is good”

-she talks all about how mr. ness lets her color while he teaches and how mr. ness gave them all name tags w silly drawings (hers is a bear) etc etc

-mike is actually really happy bc most teachers have a hard time understanding abby (heck, he has a hard time understanding her) so he’s looking forward to meeting this mr. ness during back to school night

-it goes on like this for awhile, with abby raving about mr. ness and mike is just happy that his little sister seems to be doing better in school. the first time she comes home talking about these kids she hung out with at recess he practically cries

-back to school night is here and the first time mike sees this mr. ness he’s like abby u traitor you didnt tell me this man was exactly my type (he doesn’t actually tell her bc he never brings up his lovelife around her - not that he’s had much of one - but still isn’t this the type of things siblings know intrinsically)

-anyways they’re having the kids show their guardians around the classroom and their seats and everything and then mr. ness is explaining the way his class works and mike is totally paying attention. yup. he’s not distracted by those chocolate brown eyes at ALL

-so they’re waiting to do the one-on-ones with the teacher and mike crouches down next to abby and tries to be all chill “hey, abs. has mr. ness ever mentioned a partner or anything?” acting all nonchalant

-but abby sees right through him and is immediately like “he’s single! do u want me to put in good word for you?” and mikes like “NO i have no idea what ur talking about haha i just wanted to know bc it’s important to know that about ur teachers okay wait why are you smiling like that”

-(abby’s a little menace and already ships it)

-when it’s finally their turn mike is just chanting to himself “be normal. be normal. be normal” lmao

-but now that he’s sitting face to face with the teacher he notices that he has freckles and every chance he had at playing it cool goes out the window

-ness is telling him all about how well abby is doing in class and if there was anything he could do to make it easier for her in the classroom and abby’s just sitting there looking at mike internally screaming with a smile

-so she turns to her teacher and is like “you should get mike’s number just in case something comes up. he’ll probably think of some things later since he’s been taking care of me alone for awhile” (bc u know when kids do that things where they kinda trauma dump at the most random moments lmao)

-and ness at first refuses and is like “im sure email works just fine!” and abby’s like WHYY is he not just taking the bait and then she has like a lightbulb moment

-bc ness probably assumes like everyone else that mike is a single father and abby’s his daughter and abby’s like oh no how do i make this work

-so she goes full anya mode (for my spy x family watchers) and is like “im sure mike would appreciate having your number on hand! he’s a very protective older brother you see. taking care of his little sister must be hard. i’m sure being a big brother like him is hard so it’d be for his peace of mind. did i mention he’s my older brother”

-and ness also has a little bit of a crush already forming so he doesn’t catch the obvious set up and is instead distracted by the fact that the handsome guy in front of him is in fact NOT a single father so maybe he does have a chance wowow

-yup so they exchange numbers andddddd ill come back to this later i really need coffee

#do i know what grade abby is in?? no #do i even have a vague idea of how i could muddle the ages for this work? also no #i am literally jsut here what more do u want from me #yknow purple rotting michael when he done got scooped #thats what i feel like with the amount of brain rot that i have #im actually so mentally ill its insane #also i very specifically wait for someone else to post on the tag before i make another post #bc i ahve wayy too many thoughts on these two #fnaf #fnaf movie #kitty.twt #ness the waiter #securitywaiter #mike schmidt #mike x ness #fnaf ness #abby schmidt #i love abby being securitywaiter shipper no. 1

[eternityservedcold]

an extremely thorough list of content warnings for jojos bizarre adventure

because the old one was made by a deleted blog so it isnt easily accessible any more (and i dont think it was good enough to begin with)

btw if you say anything to the effect of "why do people like jojo when it has x" or "you guys really excuse y?" on this post im just gonna block you. people who get angry about me saying to skip parts/episodes will also get blocked.

feel free to reply/send an ask with anything i missed, preferably with a chapter or episode number. parts 7 and 8 wont be on here in full until i finish reading them but feel free to send me cws for them and ill add them. also the warnings are just in the order they appear, and more specifically when they appear in the anime, so as to not have weird "x is more important than y" nonsense

general warnings

these are things that…. basically if youre triggered by these i think you should just sit this out tbh. its an amazing series but its not worth repeatedly triggering yourself. this ones just ordered alphabetically bc its throughout (read: in at least 3 parts)

blood, violence, body horror, gore, and death -amputation -animal abuse and death (especially of dogs) -decapitation -eye, nail, and mouth horror -impalement -parental and sibling death -police brutality -suicide and self harm

child abuse -child abandonment -corporal punishment -leering shots of minors bodies -pedophilia (still gets a warning every time) -physical abuse

christian themes and symbolism

drug use -alcohol -tobacco -underage drug use -unspecified white powder

fire and explosions

gambling

misogyny, both in-universe and on the part of the author

racism (gets specific warnings every time)

sexual misconduct -catcalling -rape (still gets a warning every time) -sexual assault -sexual harassment

unsanitary -eating/drinking gross things —being forced to eat/drink gross things -pee -poop -snot -vomit

vehicle accidents -car accidents -plane crashes

part 1: phantom blood

(manga only) ritual sacrifice

restricted eating

non-consensual kissing

(manga only) a dog is shown on fire

poisoning

chinese ethnic stereotypes

a baby gets eaten

part 2: battle tendency

okay im gonna rip the bandaid off now. there are nazis in this one, and its significantly worse than youd expect just reading that. im gonna quote the old list here: "there are so many nazis in this part and they’re not condemned like at all tbh". i would almost say its glorified, one of the main allies is a nazi and another main ally directly praises a different nazi. in the manga, hitler and swastikas are explicitly shown as well as nazis being called by name, but in the anime, they are removed and simply called german soldiers.

almost nothing from this part comes back in the future and what does come back is explained as it comes up or is understandable from context. so please. if you need to skip this part, just do it. i even understand if you skip the whole series because of this.

its possible some may find the mesoamerican aesthetic of the villains in this part to be insensitive or offensive. im mexican and i personally dont, but i could see why someone would

racism toward: -black people -mexican people —slavery and degradation of mexican women is explicitly shown -japanese people

hostage situation

kidnapping

human experimentation

ritual sacrifice

"man in a dress" gag and subsequent transmisogyny

unintentional incest. there are only two scenes of this, which are: -a character spying on someone (later revealed to be their mother) in the bath -going through said mothers belongings and talking about her panties

animal cannibalism

part 3: stardust crusaders

since fights in this part are much more self-contained than the other parts, its possible to skip some of these if youre triggered by them. those will be marked with chapter and episode numbers

a woman gets spontaneously undressed in the middle of a fight (only her bra shows but it happens against her will)

jotaro, a 17 year old, kisses an adult woman to save her from possession. i wouldnt really say this is pedophilia and it lasts for 1 panel/less than 10 seconds but i found it uncomfortable

while incapacitated from sickness, holly will randomly be shown naked with weird leering camera angles. this happens many more times in the anime than the manga

pedophilia (depicted as a bad thing and the victim is saved before anything happens) (skip chapters 17-19/episode 7)

native american stereotypes (skip chapters 20-22/episode 8)

"person gets replaced" trope (skip chapters 23-6/episode 9; chapters 76-79/episode 27)

infection

suffocation

drowning

"child acting like a pervert" trope (skip chapters 92-96/episodes 32-33) -in the same episodes, the child spends the entire fight naked which might be uncomfortable for some

stardust crusaders ova

this gets its own subsection due to being so different that i was having to say "this doesnt apply to the ova" for a lot of the warnings. unlike the main sdc section, since this ova is extremely pared down, there wont be skippable warnings. also note that this is in "manga order", so its 2000 ova then 1993 ova

the english voice actor for avdol (a black/egyptian character) is a white guy doing a vaguely "ethnic" accent

the non-consensual kissing thing above, here its with a girl jotaros age though

infection

suffocation

ritual sacrifice (used as the intro animation for the 1993 portion)

drowning

part 4: diamond is unbreakable

rape, pedophilia, and kidnapping mentions

physical abuse

electrocution

blackmail

yandere trope -emotional abuse -isolation -stalking -kidnapping

restricted eating

skin picking

(anime only) jumpscare

invasion of privacy (skip this part if this bothers you because one of the main allies power is just, doing this, and its constant)

"child acting like a pervert" trope

bodysnatching/"person gets replaced" trope

theres an uncomfortable scene where a child gets attacked in the bath (non-sexually). both the child and the attacker are naked for the duration of the scene

part 5: vento aureo/golden wind

gang violence/the mafia (main crux of the plot)

bullying

(anime only) racism toward japanese people

reckless driving

torture

rape (not shown just heavily implied)

terminal illness/infection/disease

(anime only) pedophilia

forced childbirth (its like, magical childbirth and the mother doesnt register it)

possibly offensive depiction of systems (systems, feel free to correct me on this)

medical malpractice

a guy gets swapped into a girls body and gropes it

part 6: stone ocean

(anime only) heavy use of chromatic aberration, which may be eye straining for some

this part is really horny, comparatively speaking. this isnt really a bad thing but depending on your level of comfort with that you may want to skip

(manga only) misgendering a trans man

hallucinations

memory loss

abuse of religious authority

(manga only, only in some translations) homophobic slur

grooming

gang violence

"disposable sex worker" trope

creepy stalker-ish behavior (the person who does it becomes a main ally & never stops or eases up)

cult

drowning

electrocution

unintentional incest

the kkk (in the anime its a generic racist mob) -lynching

part 7: steel ball run

possibly offensive depiction of native americans (feel free to correct me if youre native)

a 14 year old girl: -is a child bride and im pretty sure this isnt condemned at all -gets hit on by adults -experiences a rape attempt? -gets pregnant?

the entire plot is about curing a disability

medical malpractice

capital punishment

(only in some translations) r slur variant

homophobic slur

attempted pedophilia/rape?

"bisexual sex pest" trope (grown woman making advances toward a minor/trying to rape her)?

part 8: jojolion

ableism?

rape?

part 9: the jojolands

"unsettling gender reveal" trope

pedophilia

#cant catch me gay thoughts #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #please dont be annoying on this post. please. begging on my knees. #to clarify: question marks are put on chapters i havent gotten to yet #all of them come from other people telling me its true so i take them at their word and assume it is

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Hii hope all is well 💜. Can I please request Jack Sparrow being in love headcanon? Thanks if approved! 😊

Hello dear 💖, thanks for your request.

Jack sparrow being in love 😍

This wasn't planned, nor thought out in any sense of emotions.

Jack being in love was something rare.

Sparrow had his ways with women. A corsair of the buccaneers, a Casanova of the seven seas.

Jack had many admirers and lovers; angelica, giselle, and scarlett, esmerelda, even Tia Dalma at one point.

Jack avoided you, and he deceived you. He didn't want to believe he was in love, such a cliche thing, really. A pirate falling for a woman/man/person and they live happily ever after on the pearl.

Jack sparrow hid in the most unusual places, even when you weren't expecting it.

Jack spent nights in tortuga ravishing himself with pretty wenches to take his mind off. But even then, when he came lip to lip with them, he didn't kiss them. Instead his mind thought of you.

He couldn't be in love, he didn't want to. He valued the freedom and the sea. He was committed to the sea and his ship.

Jack spent his days trying to figure out what his feelings were, why he valued you, or rather felt the "weird things" when you were around.

One night Master Gibbs was out with his bottle of rum "a yo ho ho, a pirate's life fo-".

"Psssst, Matser Gibbs" Jack whispered.

"Cap'n, be tha yer? Where ar' yer" Gibbs looked around the main deck.

Master Gibbs walked up to a bunch of cargo with a big barrell.

Gibbs looked inside the barrell to see Jack, hidden inside.

"Did they see me?" Jack's pupils turned left and right.

"What's wrong Jack, why ar' ya hidin', who ar' ya hiding from" Gibbs asked.

"Is it tha' kraken? As Jones spotted our ship, Gibbs looked worriedly.

"No mate, even worse than that," Jack stood up from the barrell.

"Her?/him?/them?" He whispered.

"Her?/him?/them?" Gibbs replied.

"The lass/lad/y/n," Jack muttered.

"The lass?/the lad?/y/n?" Gibbs questioned further.

Gibbs soon caught on to who Jack meant. "Ye mean, y/n, the landlubber."

"Ohhh, ar' they a spy from tha navy." Gibbs tried to realise,"I knew it, Jack, tha's why I said I didn't trust them from the moment they first docked."

"I've been having these," he gestures with his hands. "Things."

"Wha-what sort o' thins, ave' ye caught scurvy?" Gibbs still couldn't make sense of what Jack meant.

"You know, things, things that make you feel... funny," he couldn't make into words. How could he? It's not like Jack's ever felt this way before.

"So yer feel funny when ye see--ohhh Jack" Gibbs realised finally what was going on.

"Are ye, in love?" Gibbs smiled. "Aye I remember the first time I be tha way, and let me tell yer, she was a fine lass, one I couldn't forget".

"Turned out tha next mornin', I couldnt find er'-- or rather, she wasn't even human, Aye, Turned out ta be but a sack o' oranges" Gibbs rambled about his drunken tale.

Jack got out of the barrell and took Master Gibbs's rum and swung it down his gullet.

"Aye, I remembered that, bieleved that sack was named sally or martha, hm, also that night I do recall nearly losing a finger or two from that wager, was worth it though, got that map in the end" Jack explained.

"Aye, Is that how we ended up cursed" Gibbs leaned against the big oak railing of the main deck.

"The pearl's already cursed mate, I'm just the captain of it" Jack threw the rum over board.

"So whaddya gonna tell er/im/em then" Master Gibbs asked.

"I'll do em one better, ill set them off at some fancy port and they can tell their friends of how a devlelish, delightful captain Jack Sparrow saved them from the clutches of a bunch of rutheless scoundrels" Jack agreed.

"Now that sounds like a tale to behold, don't it?" Jack smiled.

"Jack, ye can't just abandon tha poor thing" Gibbs sympathised.

"Ye did that already--on an island" Gibbs recalled.

"Jack" a woman/man/person called from the distance.

Jack gestured with his hands for Gibbs to move.

"You never saw me, savvy?" Jack scurried away.

Jack would be like this for a while but eventually you would confront him about why he was acting strang-er.

Jack would come clean and admit "the world's a funny place innit darlin, things I can't explain between you and I, happens from me always wondering about you, wondering in Tortuga, wondering when I drink rum, wondering about these...things". He continued with a smile, "Things for you mate".

"Hm, does sound a bit cliche to say 'I love you' don't it" Jack places his first finger on his chin.

Jack leaned toward you "Hmmm, how about rather, your enduring, I can't figure out why I'm besotted to you"

"Suppose it ain't gonna sound cliche to say--" he admitted. "I loved you mate, I always have, I always will".

You blushed with astonishment. You had no idea yet it made sense for Jack's behaviour recently.

You could kiss him, and that would be that. You could marry him, and that's the end of your love story. You could sail with him, entailing the fantasy of many countless women, men, or anyone with pirates--or--rather.

You chose to endure the freedom as Jack did, being two souls that understood each other when no one else did.

A rather more passionate romance then the tales of Will and Elizabeth.

Jack was no fool when he was in love. A legendary captain like him would grant you protection.

Though for Jack, would it truly be the end? No, of course not, it only means another chapter is written in the tales of the captain.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta ✨️

#pirates of the caribbean #jack sparrow x reader #jack sparrow #jack sparrow headcanon #pirates of the caribbean x reader #pirates of the caribbean headcanon #potc x reader #potc #potc headcanon

[chococustard]

Your Genshin kids are adorable! I love the Priscilla/Yuying/Claire friendship you alluded to in the last art dump (poor Diluc… your daughter just has an instinct for divine beings)

But on the topic of poor Diluc, how do their parents react to the friendship? Diluc and Wriothesley seem like they would be good friends since they have a lot in common but everyone else basically represents every faction in the game.

You got Neuvillette, a dragon sovereign seeking to judge the archons for their crimes; Zhongli, an archon who presumably destroyed Khaenri'ah 500 years ago; Kaeya, a Khaenri'ah spy who is a descendant of the man who founded the abyss order; and Childe, a fatui harbinger who fell into the abyss.

Would they try and keep it together for the sake of their kids? (I love the idea that the three girls are there going :3 while their parents are glaring daggers at each other) Would they find some sort of common ground? Would they recognize each other immediately but think the others don’t know so they come up with increasingly ridiculous ways to hide it? How did Wriothesley and Neuvillette react to the incident with Claire and Yuying? (Can you tell I like the angst?)

hi hi!! thank you so much im glad you like them!!! bc we have limited knowledge atm there's a lot of questions posed that cannot be answered and considering how new fontaine is idk anything for sure //shakes hoyo

they try to keep cordial for the kids tm or at least not to be bad influences in front of them. extra notes under the cut:)

diluc met nv first when he brought claire to fontaine for a business trip and she just, drags in a half dragon to him yelling "i made a new friend!:D" then he met nv and he knew. just knew, these people ain't human. found out they're dragons. "great," he sighed once more.

kae plays his quartermaster persona to a t. when he first meets wriolette he puts on the charm. nv only knows him for via the knights and wrio rarely goes above ground. so like, they're cool with him. mostly. they both do questionable shit that nv can't personally approve of but hey. they ain't his problem. (on that note i like to think he'd be good friends with jean:)) (does nv know about kaeya's khaenrian blood? does he know about khaenri'ah in general? i dont have him)

kaeya and wrio has this, kind of friendship that's like, there's a tension there. they're both people with reputations, but also, like that tm. they're cordial and they get along but there's. SOMETHING.

meanwhile diluc meeting wrio? he's ELATED. man has good taste in tea. they spar sometimes. FINALLY, SOMEONE NORMAL.

wrio is happy in general his baby is making friends meanwhile nv is: to claire: good child:) to yuying, the daughter of one of the usurpers: hmmmm :| (he knows the child did nothing wrong and she's a good kid in general) contrast to diluc he actually LIKES childe. for one he helped with the narwhal thing, and the fatui helped during the crisis and childe himself never did anything bad personally so they're chill. he will sometimes humor his requests to fight if he's free. then decks him. the adeptus power up juice doesn't help much rip. the girls like to play with his hair.

zhongli knows kaeya's khaenrian. kaeya at some point finds out zhongli is rex lapis. they. they have to keep it together. one of them is under nda. outside of that, there's a reason kaeya is liked by the old timers of mond.

zhongli and nv:

nv finds out eventually. and for the sake of his daughter, dont worry about it. they'd bond over old people things probably. nv should meet yanfei and they should be friends if anything cause zl is a menace and they'd be passive aggressive w each other. (i need info but it would be so funny for their kids to go my dads stronger! and make them fight each)

via claire, AGAIN, she invites her bestie yy and the new friend from fontaine to her bday party cause SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT. and those 2 non humans meet and GASP, you're just like me!

post accident tm, what do you even say to that. how do you even react to that

early on in yuying and claire's friendship, on a windy summer day, diluc slowly gets used to having to be cordial with a harbinger. a harbinger who who married a god. someone who will live longer than him. he spoke to childe, as they watch their daughters laugh and run through the grapevines, "one day, when i'm no longer around, please look after my daughter."

#im going insane #thank you anon:))) #ask #anonymous #omegaverse au #kaeluc #zhongchi #wriolette #genshin impact

[crabonfire]

Mercs and what they call you ♡

prompt: what the title says >:) I am a person who regularly uses petnames on everybody I know and I was like "omg wait I wonder what the mercs would call you?!!?!?!?" SO here u go :)

warning: none!!

characters: all mercs + ms pauling :)

note: if the text is in italic n red then you are talking to them :) oh and ps, some are shorter than others because I probably just don't know what else to say so I'm very sorry 😞😞

♡Scout♡

• toots, sugar tits, babes, dollface, sweetheart.

• I think he will use sweetums as a joke 😭😭😭

• he uses these a lot. he still goes by your name no doy but the way he says it makes it obvious he prefers calling you by those LMFAOOO he ain't slick

• loves it when you call him nicknames. The first time you called him a nickname you were heading out for the night to do some work and was looking for your bag. "Hey baby, could you me my bag?"he was like "WHO? Oh...oh me-YEAH! TOTALLY BABY." He was so happy!!! When you leave for work, he's up all night thinking about it. call him that more please.

♡Soldier♡

• cupcake, honeypie, cadet.

• he doesn't seem like the pet name person but I think he'd use some when he's feeling sweet :)

• though he uses cupcake a lot more than the others!!

• Hes worn out after a contract. you come back from the kitchen with water an a plate of bread. "Honey, I got you some water." Man's looks dead at you. He grins and no not a small grin either a gigantic shit eating grin. "HAHA! THANKNYOU CADET. THIS IS TRULY APPRICIATED!" He's PSYCHED. Doesn't tell you but it's obvious he's looking forward to anytime you call him that again. He will brag.

♡Pyro♡

• sunshine.

• well..you can't hear him well beneath the mask but, he likes to call you sunshine. Calls you that all the damn time now.

• whether it's by writing you little notes and drawing you little doodles, your his sunshine :)

• you were going to be busy and had to leave for work early, so you write him a note and left it for him. "Hey baby, im gonna be at work for most of today im sorry." and he's like "wait...am I supposed to be baby?" He jumps around LMAOOO he doesn't even care that your not gonna see him a lot he's just happy you called him that.

♡Demoman♡

• love, my dear, mo chridhe (my heart).

• a very affectionate guy me thinks, but I feel like other than these nicknames he'd flat out call you the most outrageous things in scottish when drunk. probably.

• calls you nicknames too much. I think he forgot your name.

• you were going to go out for some work and you were looking for your jacket. "Hey sweetheart, have you seen my jacket?" He stops dead in his tracks "SWEETHEART? SWEETHEART?!" He's so excited. HES SWEETHEART? Oh my god he's sweetheart. WHO CARES ABOUT THE JACKET...SWEETHEART?!?!?!?!

♡Heavy♡

• I think the only petnames he will call you are russian ones honestly, and also I don't think he's the type to call you that a lot. But here are the ones I can list!

• myshka (little mouse) moya lyubov (my love) lisichka (little fox)

• yes he calls you this because your smaller than he is. yes it's the cutest thing in the world.

• when you call him a nickname for the first time? he's honestly chiller than the others at responding. He's in the infirmary and you check up on him while Medic is writing his notes. "Hi honey, how are you feeling?" He's a bit surprised, but he's very happy. "Heavy is feeling much better." He will definitely be giddy, and once out-of the infirmary, he gives you a big hug. If you ask why? He just says there's no reason, he just wanted to hug you.

♡Engineer♡

• I got so many nickname ideas for him you have no fuckin clue.

• sugar/sugar-cube, honey/honey-bee, sweetheart, (also) sunshine, teddy bear, buttercup, darling.

• out of all of them? I think he'd have the sweetest nicknames. No not because I'm picking favorites, even spy isn't this sweet with his partners. Obviously. OK I'm joking MAYBEEE I just have favorites. But also he's a texan with a voice smooth as silk of course he calls people pet names.

• he uses them all the time, but your name too of course. It's like balanced out in the middle. he can be sickeningly sweet without realising it.

• the first time you call him a nickname? he melts. he was working all night and you were trying to convince him to sleep early.

“Oh baby, you shouldn’t overwork yourself. Remember to take breaks okay? You can work if your tired!” he pauses for a bit and just has a weary smile. “Aw…we’ll shucks. I guess I can take it easy today..” you convinced him straight off the bat. this man is just smiling for the rest of the night, literally nothing can ruin his mood now you’ve made his entire night. he might seem calm on the outside but this man is absolutely ecstatic that you’ve called him that. please call him more nicknames he loves them. So so much.

♡Medic♡

• dear, darling, mein liebe (my love).

• uses mein liebe to an unhealthy extent.

• I think he's a petname type of person where he has resorted to calling you his love than using your name. he still uses it, only when he's being serious or something happened.

• when you call him a petname? a bit flustered probably. I don't think this man has had many if not any relationships at all, because he's obviously more interested in his work than his love life. But of course, you are the exception.

• you were bringing him some tea after he had worked on all the other 8 mercs, helping him calm down and catch a break. You notice he's still writing down notes and you walk over to him. You place the tea on his desk and place a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh...honey, your supposed go be taking a break. Don't stress yourself out too much." He keeps writing for a bit, it's like you weren't even there. But then he pauses, and realises HES honey. "AH! Yes yes...no need to worry mein liebe. I will take zhe break soon. I just need to finish zhe last folders I have." He gives you a weary smile, with his cheeks now rose tinted.

You let him do his thing, giving him a kiss on his forehead and leaving him alone. Once your gone, OHHH MAN HE IS A BLUSHY DORK. "Archimedes...did you hear what they called me? Honey! I know right? I am their honey! Ahahahhaa!" brags to his bird and actually takes that break just for you. He will not admit it, but his heart skips a bear when you call him that.

♡Sniper♡

• babe, love, sweetheart, dollface, angel.

• oh he's very much a nickname person. He just doesn't have much to call you. not the most affectionate man with his words, more of a physical touch guy. but nicknames help with that :)

• he loves nicknames for you, it makes him feel nice that he can regularly call you these terms of endearment because truly, you are his and he is yours.

• you were with him in his camper van, just taking a small break from all the chaos with the other mercenaries. He was holding you, just being together in a sweet embrace while he listens to you talk about stuff and stuff.

the alarm went off, and it was time for yet another fight. "Oh, there it is." You let go as he got up and got his sniper rifle. "Ah okay. Go get em baby!" You blow him a kiss goodbye. His expression is unclear for a moment, but he smiles. "Will do, angel." For the rest of the mission, he is motivated. Man doesn't get killed ONCE. He won't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

♡Spy♡

• we all know this motherfucker is smooth as hell. got all the fuckin things to make a man flushed bro 🚶

• mon amour (my love), mon cherie/ ma cheri (my darling), mon couer (my heart), my dear.

• he is very affectionate in all shapes of sizes. He was the guy who made the five love languages.

• first time you called him a nickname was when you two were dancing. in his smoking room, as the air filled with sweet smelling candles, the sound of the pleasant music made the atmosphere all the more romantic as he swayed you gently.

"tu es ravissante ce soir, mon amour." (you look absolutely ravishing tonight, my love.)

you sighed, lying onto his chest as you both stopped. "Gosh, your such a sweet talker." You giggled, as he wrapped his arms around your waist. "Mm...just stating the obvious, no?" His gentle eyes stare at you, oh how he loved you so much. "Baby, you really do spoil me."

He's shocked for a bit, but he feels pride. "Only for you, mon couer."

pretty calm actually. in that moment, he feels too much endearment to actually be flustered or panicked, he's just so calm. but later, you'll catch him randomly smiling mid mission. thinking of that word replaying in his mind, he will want you to call him that all the time.

Wooo it's 2 am and I got orientation today but ykw hey tf2 am I right? anyways I think it's funny how spy is the one with the longest text in this when he's the guy I least care about 🚶 jk I love him ig but his son is cuter

#tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 x reader #team fortress #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #i love men #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 soldier x reader #tf2 pyro x reader #tf2 demoman x reader #tf2 heavy x reader #tf2 engineer x reader #tf2 medic x reader #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 spy x reader #i love men so muxh #i love wome #n

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/29/2023

my ENTIRE SUMMER has been either worrying about moving or actually moving. ALL OF IT. however an incredibly hot butch milf on the gay community bulletin board/dating app lex has finally answered my piteous call for gun safety classes with an invitation to her private range. unfortunately she is a landlord who owns a VERY large apartment complex. houston is a land of contrasts

listening

more joywave! one of my favorite bands bc they are best listened to in full album format, and i did a fuck of a lot of driving this weekend. little lies you’re told has an opening like a big machine warming up while you are in a control room way high up on a gantry somewhere. spotify

-

reading (2x bonus round)

All The Trimmings by Tesni Morgan (published 2001 in the UK) is a gift from @believerindaydreams. it is “erotic fiction written by women for women” (debatable) and “the publishers recommend that this book should be sold only to adults”. also, “Black Lace novels contain sexual fantasies. In real life, make sure you practise safe sex.” idk i’ve ever seen that kind of notation on an american novel before? fascinating precursor to the saccharine little “stay safe kids” ao3 authors notes

i do find the premise genuinely fun and compelling— two divorced milfs opening a hotel/bordello with historically themed rooms. i have had to look up a lot of british purple prose and i refuse to believe anyone says “rogering” in real life.

im being edged with glimmerings of bisexuality. every time one of the milfs gets turned on and goes out roaming to distract herself from being turned on, i go “oh?” like at a pokemon go egg, but so far all the dalliances and encounters have been dudes.

had a very strange experience with cormac mccarthy's blood meridian. i don’t normally interrogate whether or not i am the intended audience for a work except when it’s literally made for children, bc i as a modern bisexual woman am the intended audience for vanishingly few works. for example, many entire genres (westerns) are very challenging to enjoy.

a western has never made me go "wait so why DO i like westerns at all" so hard. like, what AM i doing here in this genre that is often deeply fucking uncomfortable to consume as a woman, and where the most foundational american and european works of the genre often uncritically embrace the worst parts of the american mythos in the most violent way possible? i do believe critics when they say mccarthy is not embracing violence for the sake of, and in fact has something to say with his revisionist western, but my god is it hard to wade through. anyway, dad media will not fuck me and i still have only a tenuous grasp on why i try so hard to glean enjoyment from it.

i know what mccarthy is trying to do and the overall tone of “weird old maybe-uncle” spinning a yarn to a big group of you and your cousins around a fire somewhere is pretty effective. unfortunately I have less tolerance for mccarthy’s style now than when I read The Road thirteen years ago in high school. i was immediately super invested in The Road’s single dad and how he and his kid were surviving, which does not need a lot of interiority.

blood meridian also has very little interiority. the first five chapters are a teen falling in and out of various fights. i was not, and am still not invested. if im reading A Man Goes On A Journey western (as opposed to A Stranger Comes to Town western) i would like to know two or three things about the man, especially if it seems to be angling at a bildungsroman. i don't typically care for third-person objective narration when it is this closely focused on one guy, and i really don't care for loving descriptions of maggots. comforting to know a lot of critics were also squicked out by this book. so it goes.

-

watching

finished watching s1 of spy x family! a Legally Not West German spy in Legally Not East Berlin has to go into deep cover and pose as a family man in order to gain access to Legally Not Erich Honecker, because the only social events Legally Not Erich Honecker goes to are the ones at his son's elite prep school.

this man FLINGS himself into being the absolute best husband and father possible. for the mission, of course.

i found the first few episodes the best, which is generally the opposite of my normal anime experience. i think it does a really good job of balancing high-octane spy hijinks and chases and explosions with very domestic concerns (he PROPOSES. with a THE RING OFF A HAND GRENADE. AFTER THROWING IT), and once you're really hooked on these characters it turns into a bit of a curtainfic. curtainanime? i had fun with all of it and anxiously await season two, but the actual applied spycraft does drop off significantly as the series goes on.

-

playing

we're going to continue with out of context genshin screencaps for the duration. the watery land of fontaine has a neat smorgsabord of visual style-- freshwater but also saltwater but also the aquarium section at petsmart.

-

making

unpacking mostly. acquired this coffee table and its mother. needs a very deep cleaning and some touchups but is intact. the individual tables are a bit large for like individual party drinks tables but all six together are QUITE large. four tigether would be a comfortable coffee table size for many apartments imo but! bc everything truly is bigger in Texas including my apartment it works for right now. for the first time in my life i am considering a sectional sofa bc the living/dining room is that dang big.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

[dragon-subway]

[points] favourite transformer(s)? pls tell me everything 📢

:O <-????? :O<-?????? YES I'LL TELL YOU MY FAVOURITE TRANSFORMERS (im actually shaking w exitement in this one so if you see spelling errors no the fuck you do not)

in no particular order:

mtmte whirl: hes great, his introduction was great and DAMN the knowing he can change what makes him angry and spiteful yet not doing it cause he knows he wont have anything left to keep him goes gets me every damn time. also theres a comic dub that fucking nails his voice for me. a shame the never did more than 3 issues and a few snippits. also also hae you seen the stuff he says?? delightful.

tfp soundwave: holy shit the explanations on why i love him so much can and have gone on for several hours. in summary, hes cool hes competent, his look being uncanny (cybertronian-wise), his figthting is such a rare treat to behold in the way its almost a dance and!!! he has very subtle shows of emotion!!!! tfp season 2 episode 14 will forever be my favourite

TFA shockwave: what tfp makeshift failed to be, a proper shapeshifting decepticon spy. I love his creepyness so much and the fact his autobot disguise to grey like a corpse is just..... man its so neat. also the antenna remind me of deer antlers

tfa blitzwing: I hold him gently.

tfp showckwave: antennas twitch n its the cutest thing to watch. honestly his animation is always super interesting, and the way they've done his head/eye in this design. He's super intimidating too, like when i watched tfp as a kid n saw him my jaw dropped - that entrance was spectacular especially after thinking he was dead just like everyone else in universe. MAN.

earthspark taurantulas: OH MY GOD you have no idea how exited i was to see him for the first time, i'd heard so many things about him and while he doesnt sound like i intially thought he would i atually prefer it so much more. Man just wanted to live in peace. My guy just wanted to be left alone. In comes this kid wanting to help him out and he tries to help him in return (but with the wrong idea) before actually helping him in return i think he's super sweet.

this has been great thank you very much for this ask :3

#telly static #transformers my beloved #honestly i'd probably have a lot more favourites if i could get myself to sit down and read the damn comics without going on a mental rant #and losing whats going on every 20 minutes #side note i've got a decepticon insignia on a necklace n ive been wearing it since i was like..... 13 (im 19 now) #(the autobot one broke which is WHY it became a necklace in the first place funnily enough) #wear that thing every day #plagued with thoughts (ask box) #ninjasmudge

[dballzposting]

okay my brain isn't fully turned on and I have more to say on this subject that won't come out of my brain rn but ive been thinking about this for days and i need to share

I think trunks is like. he watches culturally important films, or like cult classics, a lot bc he feels it is a good way to expand his worldview or like just become more cultured. but by and large he does not like them.

oh for sure there's some he enjoyed. And there's a few where he's like 'Well, I didn't enjoy it, but i definitely think it was a good film. Just not my thing.'

meanwhile goten does not seek them out at all. he could not care less. BUT if Trunks is watching one when Goten wants to hang out, he'll sit his ass down and watch! He's not passing up a free fancy people movie!

And almost every time he REALLY likes it. And after every single one he goes on for like 30 minutes about Themes and Symbolism before interrupting himself to see if trunks wants to go get milkshakes.

and then after they get shakes trunks has to spend the night thinking about it. Why does goten seem to Get things so easily? Why does understanding worldviews he doesn't necessarily agree with come so naturally to Goten, when Trunks is actively trying?

Why won't Goten stop asking to see the movie where a disembodied head bites a girl in the butt (Hausu)??? Why does he think that's so funny????????????

PART 2: (Copy & pasted just to keep it all in one place)

okay i think i figured out the rest of what i wanted to say re: goten and trunks cultural movie bonanza as an example it's not like goten knows what chiaroscuro is. but he DOES notice and enjoy how filmmakers use lighting to draw the eye to or away from stuff. He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation but Trunks is like UGH nobody has said anything for FIVE MINUTES can we PLEASE move the plot along. this is like a BUSINESS MEETING tbh. and it's not like he doesn't get the plot or, once he's taken a film class, the meaning of certain techniques. he just can't bring himself to care. AND THE MAN JUST WON'T LEARN HIS LESSON AND HE KEEPS WATCHING THESE DAMN FILMS. also Goten like. he doesn't know these movies. his parents don't fucking watch movies. i mean maybe chichi watches like. romance and martial arts movies probably. he probably likes to compare himself to crouching tiger hidden dragon. so he DOESN'T know what to expect!!! when trunks is like 'hey im gonna watch Citizen Kane or Vanishing Point or Deliverance' or whatever and goten says NEAT i would like to watch also and trunks is like 'I know. that's why i told you. come over around 4 okay' and so goten doesn't have any sort of knowledge of these movies! it's exciting!!! bc the movies he saw growing up were his moms movies about kissing and punching and then whatever trunks took him to see in theatres. so like action and comedy and some horror. so it's new! it's fun! even when he doesn't really like the movie he's like 'well im glad i got to experience this new thing with my best buddy Trunks' ALSO they watched Eraserhead once and goten sat there afterwards on the floor (he likes to sit on the floor) for like ten minutes chewing his lips before turning to trunks and saying something to the effect of 'Trunks. I'm worried about what kind of father you're going to be.' and trunks just sort of. sat there. and looked goten in the eyes for a while. bc he didn't have a response. okay i think i got it all out of my system thank you for your time (i have been making my way through my movie bucket list so this is very strongly on my mind)

TL;DR: Trunks watches classic and high-rated movies becasue he thinks that he's an intellectual / because he's interested in increasing his cultural/artistic literacy & expanding his worldview. But he doesn't really enjoy most of them. And it is Goten who actually is able to see through to the heart of the film, exercise deep empathy, and reap delight at the tactics of storytelling unique to the medium. He's like WOOOAH SO COOL & MEANINGFUL .. (offers a critical analysis perfectly, that is sensitive and insightful). And Trunks is like wtf .... (stays awake at night pondering his deficits.)

DBALLZ COMMENTARY:

I WANT TO BE GOTEN ...

From what I'm gathering he A.) Has the capacity to UNDERSTAND what he's seeing B.) Has the capacity to ANALYZE/INTERPRET what he's seeing C.) Has the heart to EXPERIENCE the movie in full and D.) Has the faculty to ARTICULATE/VERBALIZE what he's experiencing.

Goten no doubt is lacking a lot of cultural and artistic context, but he makes up for it with his observant eye, and then over time what he gathers from one movie transfers to the next and he's able to feel even more moved and offer even more insight ....

It's because his heart is open .. Trunks is trying too hard without realizing it. And you can't have an open heart when there is inner pain that you're not aware of. That's what I think about Trunks .... his trying to be someone he's not (a movie-savvy type of guy) is entirely self-removed without intending to be... He thinks it's self-improvement but really he's being entirely daft to what intrigues his mind and what would really facilitate his growth. And he can't be open-minded toward others if he can't be open-minded with himself.

But the format of movies I guess really works for Goten, they're not usually longer than two hours and they're faster paced than say a novel and they're colorful and they have a lot of movement and the mode of drama-deliverance is altogether captivating for him .... They can communicate a lot with a few small visual or auditory details and Goten is hip to just picking up on those, because he's genuinely engaged and enjoying himself.

But Trunks has elected to adopt this hobby on an intellectual principle. But all the rest of him is like ehhhh whatyever. He probably likes sitting and chilling and eating popcorn. But there's a lot he's not into. It's just not his medium. Just doesn't work for him

I also think that part of it is that Goten notices a lot of things just because they are new to him. Trunks has been watching movies his whole life. Menahwile Goten has been only watching the movies of LIFE ... The lighting of the sun and the pacing of the seasons <3 Also Ponyo

So the whole thing is new and he's like "WOOOOAH .. SO COOL HOW the camera was so high in that shot so that it made me feel tall..... really shows you how small the character feels..." And Trunks just like Didnt notice that

Also trunks just DOESNT CARE !!!! But he doesnt know that he doesnt care. SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like this part regarding Goten: "He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation"

Thats such a way to put it .... Goten is being such a genius rn. He would liken it to the mysterious business-speech. IT'S ALL CODE. IT'S MENTAL STIMULATION.

I don't know any of these movies but I do agree that Goten would sit for 10 minutes and then say that to Trunks ... It's like him to assume that Trunks would be a father one day becasue that's just natural to him that's just life.

When this all started I think that Trunks was like "You sure you wanna watch this with me? It's not like Kung-Fu Panda or anything."

And Goten said "Are you kidding? I LOVE your movies. They're like delicate poetry being told through the form of telenovelas."

Becasue the only life-action TV Goten had been exposed to before was his mother's telenovelas.

I don't really agree with this next part but it's obligatory.

Goten would pick up that Trunks isn't enjoying the movies as much as Goten is, before Trunks even gives proper acknowledgment to his boredom. Trunks just keeps watching them and Goten respects that and doesn't think about it much, but eventually it must be pointed out that hey, Trunks isn't getting as much out of these as Goten is.

Maybe he keeps inviting Goten over so that Goten can tell him what the movie is about. That would make sense. But really I think that Trunks just likes to chill out with him.

But the way that Goten woiuld crunch the numbers in his head (if he's ever removed enough from the movie to ponder) (maybe during a pee break or something) is "He doesnt like the movies. He keeps watching the movies. He keeps inviting me to watch the movies. He doesnt like the movies. But he always invites me. Why do people watch movies with somebody if they don't like the movies? As an excuse to be with them. He just wants to hang out with me."

But he would take it too far and he would fall on the couch next to Trunks and start kissing on him sweetly and when Trunks goes like WHAT Goten says "you dont even like the movies. You just want to hang out with me and eat popcorn."

And the most self-awareness that Trunks had exercised about this whole thing was when he was wondering why he sucked such shit at watching movies compared to Goten. He never really thought about WHY he was doing this to begin with. And so he's doing some hard calculations in his head meanwhile Goten nuzzles him like a pigeon

#dballz posting #dballz asks #goten & trunkz

[shitposting-puppet]

A list of Genshin character headcanons and personal ships that Just Make Sense

This will also feature Aether as the traveler, im sorry-

Heizou was a victim and a perpetrator of the VHD. He lost his vision about 8 months in.

As a result he has difficulty with his emotions as well as the emotions of others. He's very inept, a genius but emotionally inept.

Kaveh and Al Haithem don't hate each other, but they definitely are not good friends.

Speaking of, I think Kavehthem is super toxic. Source? My parents were just like them before getting divorced and now they dont talk to each other.

Kaveh's hurt line of: "I've been through worse" yeah... He had a shitty ex.

The ex was a Dottore clone.

The same Dottore clone is how Lisa found out she was lesbian lol.

Diluc and Eula get fake married.

Eula so that she's finally rid of all ties to the Lawrence Clan

Diluc because he's so tired of getting hit on at the tavern...

Dehya and Yoimiya have prosthetics.

Poly5WIRL

(-Wanderer.) That man is so aroace istg

Heizou is also dating Tighnari. No I will NOT elaborate.

Meanwhile Aether is additionally dating Kaeya and Albedo

(who are also dating cause why wouldn't they?)

Heizou and Sara are each other's chosen family.

They eventually legally change their last names so that they're legally siblings too.

Heizou originally wanted to live on Watasumi, but the first time he escaped there he was found and dragged back home.

Speaking of: Heizou was born and raised on Yashiori, specifically in Higi Village.

When Heizou ran away to Watasumi, thats where he met Kokomi and Gorou.

Gorou is trans mtf. Her name is Hina. You cannot change my mind.

Hina and Koko? Married.

Ayato and Itto? Dating. I love they.

Thoma is a fucking wolf hybrid you cant change my mind! He can shape shift!

Also Noelle is his little sister i just

holds them gently

Cynonari is married, Collei is their long-suffering daughter.

Cyno continues to try and ask Kaveh out.

Kaveh continues to be super oblivious.

Kaveh 🤝 Collei = Trauma from Dottore.

Wanderer chose to go to college over hanging out with Traveler and their friends....

Only to end up talking to them anyway. He is Suffering.

Kaeya has Pyrophobia from the Fight.

Al Haithem is a dick. Like he won't bring up trauma or misgender you, but he's still an absolute asshole.

Why is he an ass? Because he knows and deliberately hurts others feelings. He is aware of what he's doing.

Al Haithem is also deaf + autistic. Yes, you can be disabled and still be an asshole.

Kaveh and Al Haithem are Autistic on Autistic Violence

The Nameless Bard's name is Raven, because I am a sucker for Dramatic Irony. Also because I like it.

Childe has chronic pain and early-onset arthritis

Shenhe is actually Chongyun's mom, she gave him away when he was a baby for his safety, and the cover story she and the village gave was that she's just an aunt.

Opposite to how Chongyun's energy is pure Yang, Shenhe's is pure Yin, making her much more likely to attract demons

Heizou and Sango genuinely cannot get along.

Kaveh is actually from Aaru Village. Well, before his dad moved them to the rainforest.

Kaeya actually resent his Khaenri'ahn heritage, as it gave him the impossible burden of spying on a nation.

Btw, Kaeya would choose Mondstadt over Khaenri'ah anyday.

Diluc has a room for Venti at the Winery.

Also, Diluc and Jean are not the only ones who know Venti is Barbatos. He aint that slick.

Albedo, Sucrose, Kaeya and Hu Tao also know.

Sucrose and Albedo? Figured it out themselves.

Kaeya? Found out by accident after Venti got too drunk.

Hu Tao? She already had suspicions that Zhongli was Morax, and Venti showing up along with him, Zhongli and Xiao all being awkward just confirmed it.

Heizou and Yanfei are pen pals. They're besties, Your Honor.

Kazuha and Heizou once did it on the fucking beach during VHD.

This was also 2 years before they started dating. And 3 before they met Aether.

Heizou's a bottom btw. a bratty one.

He and Sango tried dating once while they still got along, but broke up long before they split off

Technically, because of the Irminsul wipe, Venti is still the youngest of the archons. Nahida doesn't know how to feel about this. Neither does Aether.

XIAO IS CANONLY OLDER THAN VENTI ISTG IM NOT JOKING XIAO IS 4000+ AND VENTI IS AROUND 2600 IM FERAL

Anyway

Heizou is allergic to mangoes. And Lavender Melon, and- actually this guy is allergic to near every fruit... Except for sunsettias and pineapples, strangely enough.

This doesn't stop him from eating candy. Much to Sara's horror.

Dw, she has the bfs gang up on him.

Heizou struggles with depression at times. And it's something he goes to therapy for. He hasn't done anything, but for a while it was pretty bad, especially right after the decree ended.

Kaeya has hEDS (Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome)

It means his bones are more likely to dislocate and pop out of socket if he's not careful.

KAEYA FUCKING DUEL WEILDS SWORD AND CATALYS PLEASE MIHOYO GIVE ME CATALYST KAEYA I PROMISE TO BE GOOD

Kaeya is also autistic with some pretty weird sensory issues. The second water gets in his boots this man will toss them off faster than Signora died.

He hates wet socks. Despises them

Yes I'm projecting.

Speaking of Signora. Aether and Venti held a small unofficial funeral for her on Cape Oath. They only had her mask to bury...

Faruzan has all but adopted Kaveh as her grandson. Kaveh has accepted this.

She/they Paimon.

Aether is older than everyone (because, well, physical manifestation of a star) and doesn't tell anyone. He finds it funny

Hes also lactose intolerant. Lumine too.

Aether doesn't let it stop him. Lumine hates this about him.

Fischl is a system

The events of the Aranyaka quest and the Pari quest happened around the same time. How you ask? Aether didn't go to Sumeru alone, he brought Heizou and Kaeya (this is before Hei joined the polycule-)

Its also when Tighnari and Heizou eventually started dating because Heizou kept running off and dragging Kaeya with him when they were supposed to be recovering from the Samsara and Tighnari went "Oh godsdammit i like him..."

Cyno and Nari talked it out and Collei was also cool with it so Nari shot his shot and... It took longer than expected for Heizou to notice...

ANYWAY PARI QUEST

Along with Heizou and Kaeya, Kaveh and Nilou also went with them.

As you've spotted, there isn't a single healer among them

Heizou preoceeds to give Kaeya his spare catalyst and turns that boy into a healer.

"Sorry Aether, I turned your boyfriend into a healer"

The catalyst was the Inazuma craftable one...

Kaveh and Heizou actually hit it off pretty well, bonding over being geniuses in their respective fields

Nilou is Mom friend. Im correct. She calls people "darling" and "sweetheart"

Anemo should be allowed to swirl Dendro so it does in my universe.

Kaeya and Heizou are the ones to find the door to Khaenri'ah... Kaeya doesn't react well and all Heizou has to go on is that maybe the Abyss hurt him somehow

He's kinda right, but its not the full picture.

Also Cynonari have absolutely no clue where those two are at this point... They are Freaking Out because Aether is off doing other things and told them to keep those two in Ghandarvah Ville...

Heizou punches Al Haitham in the fucking face.

Lyney has longer hair, and it's braided over his shoulder like in Lisa's alt skin.

Lyney's outfit is also 30% more slutty because holy shit its an abomination.

The twins are both cats. Lyney is SUCH a catboy (derogatory)

I want that Twink Obliterated.

One-sided LyneyxAether. Lyney gets over it... eventually.

Barbara and Freminet is such a cute ship yall are sleeping

Lyney is canonly Down Atrocious for Aether omg that poor magician

Freminet occasionally drags the twins swimming with him. But only in shallow water cause Lynette doesn't like the water. Lyney does though.

Freminet has killed a man that looked at Lynette wrong. He will kill again.

Lyney: Autistic ADHD

Lynette: Autistic

Freminet: Autistic Agoraphobic (Agoraphobia is the fear of people)

Freminet and Lynette tag team Lyney when he's talking bad about himself

Can you tell i love these guys?

Wriothesley and Clorinde are.... they got Something goin on

Neuvillette and Furina are married.

Heizou punches Lyney in the face after the trial

Is immediately sent to Solitary Confinement for Inciting a Riot... In front of Wriothesley

"Oh this is bad... This is really bad!" Heizou

"What's wrong man?" Cyno

"I kissed Aether!" Heizou

"Woahhhhhh... I owe Nari and Yanfei so much mora" Cyno

After 4.2 Furina moves in with Venti at the Dawn Winery.

Diluc walked in to see her and Venti playing cards and went "I'll go set up a room."

Also canonly? Heizou is fucking buff. Never forget he can take down the ENTIRE POLICE STATION WITHOUT A VISION

Lyney is just "He could have rocked my shit...why was that hot?"

Wriothesley is Suffering because he lost a match to a twink

Heizou is Not friends with the Orphan Trio lol, but he is friends with Chevreuse. They bonded over shitty dads

Heizou also just goes home with the Inazuma cast after the Fontianalia Film Festival

Yanfei and Cyno also go home lol cause Natlan would not be the best place for them

Heizou, Kano Nana, and Gaming are cousins on their mother's side. Their moms were sisters and grew up in Konda Village.

Gaming and Amber are cousins on the paternal side

Gaming does NOT forgive his father during Lantern Rite. He's also angry at Aether for telling people his private matters.

Heizou is there during Lantern Rite because Favoritism Privilege. Heizou is also upset because he's been there.

Heizou's brother is named Yamashi and his mom is Kanae. The father stays nameless bc fuck him.

#genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #shikanoin heizou #kaveh genshin #5wirl #wanderer genshin #genshin impact characters #puppet speaks #alhaithem #lyney and lynette #freminet #neuvillette #furina #focalors #clorinde #wriothesley #gaming #genshin cast

[bravrdm]

poly!bats boys x plus sized black reader headcanons?

Omg I completely ignored the poly part my bad I’ll do another one but for now here’s this

THIS HAS NOT BEEN EDITED AT ALL SO IF ITS BAD DONT JUDGE

Azriel

He worships you body in the bedroom

He knows how it feels to be insecure (via his hands)

So he always make sure to remind you your beautiful.

Fucks you when ever you get a new hairstyle

If you ever worked for the night Court you would be a perfect spy bc ur change ur wigs all the time.

When you wore your Afro out one day in the city the kids came rushing out to greet you and they put a whole bunch of flowers in ur hair

He he didn’t think it was possible to fall even more in love with you in that moment but he did. He loved seeing you with kids

Punched a dude in the face for making fun of ur weight.

He thinks ur hair is really cute

Would try to use ur hair and ur ass as a pillow.

Always touching ur belly and kissing ur arms/shoulders.

{dam bitch why I’m blushing}

Goes feral when u wear skin tight dresses and that one color that looks good on ur skin tone.

Kisses you stomach when he’s going down on u.

When u fall asleep he’ll put on ur bonnet for u and kiss ur forehead.

You’ll be at the dinner table with everyone and he’ll be kissing ur wrist and kissing up ur arm like chill bruh it’s not that serious

He’ll learn how to do ur twist outs and will make sure u never run out of hair grease.

Don’t make jokes about ur weight or skin color in front of him. He will fuck you in front of the mirror/ window just to show u and everyone else just how pretty you look when your cumming on his dick.

Ur sitting in his lap ALL of the time

Seriously

When even u joined the high lord meetings with az rhysand wouldn’t even give u a chair bc he knew Azriel would just pull u into his lap and you would both just sit there

U thought he was lying when he said he would fuck you in front of everyone if you kept making jokes about yourself?

The next meeting he had he had you facing everyone while fucking the shit out of you while his shadows covered the both of you so no one would see.

Sadly the shadows couldn’t hide your moans so u had to keep quiet.

Rhysand chewed him out for it but he also told az he would of done the same thing (they both nasty like that ew)

Cassian

He’s a big man so of course he likes everything big.

No offense to nesta but I don’t think it’s really realistic for cassian to be with a skinny girl 😔

Big beefy men usually go for big girls idk why ask your baldheaded mother.

He would only wanna see u in skintight dresses. (Or naked but that’s another story.)

He would HAVE TO learn how to do ur hair

Territorial asf

One time u had a male hair braider and he almost went crazy

You smacked him and kicked him out

After that he made sure to learn how natural hair works bc there was no way he was gonna let anyone else touch you.

It was kinda romantic teaching him and watching him learn about your hair.

He’ll do ur cornrows and then fuck u.

I feel like he would be more intimate when it comes to doing ur hair.

Like he would light candles and wash ur body in the bathtub and then wash ur hair.

After he’s done he would lay u on the bed and oil and lotion ur whole body down. And put u in one of his shirts

He would have u sit in his chair at his desk, section your hair and twist it up

You’d be so relaxed at that point and turned on.

9/10 im slow fucking him after that ngl.

Nice sleepy cuddle-fucking? Yes sir yes sir.

Rhysand

He tried to learn how to do ur hair but he was so busy and was always tired after his long work days.

But there was no way in hell he was having his high lady looking like shit

So he made a plan and got together the best stylists and braiders in the game for his wife ❤️🤞🏾

He would definitely have u living that pampered wife lifestyle

Im not really into the soft life shit but he would definitely have u living the soft life

Always buying expensive hair jewelry and headbands.

He got u a wet brush with a fat diamond in the center.

All ur hair products would match bc he likes organization.

Would probably have a whole separate room dedicated to ur hair and jewelry.

I’m kinda mad at rhysand rn so no more for him.

#acotar black reader #acotar x black reader #acotar x reader #azriel x black reader #cassian x reader #rhysand x reader #rhysand x black reader #Azriel smut #rhysand smut #cassian smut #cassian x black reader #acotar x plus-size reader #plus size reader #black reader #bravrdm #cassian acotar #acotar smut #acotar black women #acotar x you