> um. bearded nastya u are v beautiful to me. also a very sleepy bedhead brian <3
> ID below and in alt text -
[Image Description: Two traditional, uncoloured sketches of Nastya Rasputina and Drumbot Brian from The Mechanisms.
Image 1: Nastya Rasputina from the chest up. Her hair goes just past her shoulders, shaded darker at the top and lighter at the tips, with two clips either side of her head. She is wearing square glasses and has a short mustache and beard. She is looking off to the side, brows furrowed in annoyance and pouting her lips. Beside her head is the text "Done [with] this shit." And an arrow pointing at her. She is wearing a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, the right side of which is cut off from the sketch. Her left arm is visible and she is rolling her right sleeve up. There is blood splattered on her hand. Below her hand is the text "Possibly blood."
Image 2: Drumbot Brian from the waist up. His hair is very curly and reaches past his shoulders, with long strands sticking out around him messily. There are lines of metal surroundinghis eyes, nose and mouth, all connected. His eyes are closed and he has a small smile on his face. He also has a beard and mustache. Beside his head is the text "Honk shoooo." He is wearing a t-shirt with the text "very witty pun about robots." in all lowercase. His arms are cut off mid-forearm from the sketch. There are metal lines and bolts running down them, and his biceps are joined to his forearms by visible metal joints.
End ID.]
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
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Man, I really love the Wind Waker Ganondorf fight. It feels different from other fights in the series in the sense that you aren't fighting to save a kingdom or the princess. Sure, Link went in that tower to get Tetra back and stop Ganondorf, but when the fight happens, that isn't why they are fighting anymore.
Tetra is already there with Link, and Ganondorf had already lost; Daphnes stole his wish. Ganondorf has lost everything, and now the only thing he desires is to take Link and Tetra down with him as the hope for the future he wanted was given to them.
A fight you go into expecting to be one to save a friend and stop the villain became nothing more than a battle of survival. The waters of the great sea are crashing down as it is to kill or be killed.
Throughout the whole journey, Link and Tetra both struggled against Ganondorf. The first visit to the forsaken fortress he throws Link into the sea to drown. The second time, he knocks Link down and is about to strike him down with his blade, Tetra just barely coming in to save Link on time, and even then, they're both not strong enough. Finally, in Ganon's tower, after going through Ganondorf's trials without even getting a chance to fight him, this man straight up beats this small child and steals his triforce. Every confrontation with this man has gone wrong, and yet it's now or ever because if they lose, they will die, and no one is there to save them this time.
The battle theme is intense. It really is two very small children fighting this huge man, but just as they're the hope of the future every once in a while, the great seas theme will play as if there is a gleam of hope. That they can make it out alive.
However, even then when they do win, it isn't a triumphant one. Anytime Link has beaten a boss in the game, he is overjoyed and ecstatic. He is jumping up and down as he slayed the monster. He won.
Yet for Ganondorf, this is his reaction for killing a man.
He looks to be in disbelief, frightened even. Whatever he is feeling, it sure isn't a good one. How could he feel good about this? One thing is for sure is that he is exhausted, and he almost passes out then and there, with Tetra needing to catch him.
I just love everything about this fight. From the music and setting to the aftermath and why you're fighting him. You're not fighting to win or save the day. You're simply fighting to live.
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it is totally okay to be hurt and tired and fed up with the american schooling system but i need you to understand that we need to be better about loudly and routinely defending public education.
yes, many teachers suck, many schools utterly suck. i also got bullied and was absolutely not given the right support for my needs. i am not defending public education because it was kind to me. i am defending it because it needs to exist.
right-wing republicans do not want an educated population. they want kids to be homeschooled or in private school. there is a huge religious undertone to this.
the most common argument is that despite high costs, the "result" is not "good" enough. they point to failing schools as proof that public education is just never going to work out. there will be arguments made here that you actually agree with: that teachers can be bullies, that we taught online for 2 years and still charged the same amount of tuition, that we have no recourse for students to actually have agency or a voice, and that schools are now unsafe for kids due to risk of illness and gun violence.
these are all placing the blame in a fraudulent way, one intended to get your parents to homeschool you. the less kids in a school, the less federally-awarded funding for that school, the less any school succeeds. they will not mention the fact it is their legislation that takes away important funding opportunities, that teachers are living at or below the poverty line, that buildings are not kept up to code, that administration is overpaid and forces specific curriculums, that corporations like (my personal enemy) Pearson Education control certain classroom goals because teachers can't afford other options. they pretend to be ignorant of the gun violence and say "oh just get a gun" - but these are the same people who will be sending their child to a private school with a bulletproof backpack. they don't care if your kid dies, though. they "don't believe" in covid, but they did get their kid vaccinated, because of course they did.
it is a closed loop. conservative parents hear the fearmongering and remove children from the system. frequently these parents are also deeply religious. the kids are raised without access to other media & learn to parrot their parents. you have now created a new generation of conservatives. additionally, one of the parents/caregivers must stay home and homeschool the children, usually for free. i will give you 1 guess which parent tends to stay home to homeschool the children. these parents are encouraged to have many, many children. those children are most likely not getting access to safe sex ed.
we might laugh at fox news suggesting teachers are forcing children to use kitty litter but: first of all, there is kitty litter in the classroom. it's part of an emergency kit in case children are locked in due to a shooter. so that's fucking dystopian, and the fact they've completely reimagined the scenario to somehow make the teachers look bad when it's instead a fucking huge symbol of our failure as a country to protect our children.... it feels a little intentional.
secondly: don't just dismiss the situation. because, yeah, obviously, no teacher is encouraging kids to be a catboy. but the actual undertone that fox news is trying to sew is an outright distrust of teachers and of public education. they rely on the dehumanization of trans people as a common touchstone to hide the fact they're pushing two agendas at once. (which is ironic. because the thing they accuse teachers of. is pushing. an agenda.)
whenever someone tells you they want you to read less, you should be suspicious of that. when someone tries to separate you and your education, you should be suspicious of that. i don't even like incel rhetoric nor would i want my kids exposed to it - but i would not take away my child's (age-appropriate) access to the internet. i would just provide more educational materials, not less. the difference here is that i believe we can resolve ignorance with knowledge; whereas conservatives believe that ignorance is bliss.
they misappropriate funding and demonize teachers. they pull the same trick each time - the same thing we are seeing with anti-trans rhetoric. they do not want you to have access to safe sex ed, so they act horrified, claim sex ed teaches you how to thrust deep, claim that we have no idea what "age-appropriate" means. since the mid-nineties, the united states has spent at least 2 billion dollars on abstinence-only education, even though to quote the above link: "a preponderance of studies has found no effect of abstinence education at reducing adolescent pregnancy". conservatives want you to think less of any person struggling with addiction so they can continue their racist "war on drugs", so they spend up to $750 million dollars a year on the DARE program which has absolutely no effect. acting like teachers "must" be "grooming" children is just the same thing - so they can demand that funding either goes to their causes or the funding doesn't "exist" ("i'm not paying for our kids to learn that thing!")
and they want you to feel uncaring about this. they are aware that you will hate some parts of your school experience. pretty much everyone does. they want to lean into the parts that you hate so that you don't put up a fight about it when they take it away for not being "good enough."
i know i maybe sound like a conspiracy theorist. but truly. truly. it is beneficial for conservatives to reduce your faith in the american public schooling system.
one of the explicitly stated campaign promises of the conservative party: to axe the Department of Education in 2024.
i know we are all tired and burnt out and there is so much else wrong with their entire platform. but maybe just - pay attention to this one.
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