#like i have ptsd too

[truly-fantastic-me]

I don't know who needs to hear this-you know what? Yes, I do. This is a PSA for the motherfuckers who think it's okay to take someone's boundary in bad faith just because it was said in a way that "triggered" them. Needing direct communication doesn't make someone "controlling." Not hiding from you when you happen to be in the same fucking building doesn't make someone a "bully."

No one, except for your perpetrators if you have any, is responsible for your triggers. No, I'm not saying it's your fault you have those triggers. Yes, I am saying that it's up to you to deal with them. While your friends, family, and significant others can help you deal with your triggers, they sure as shit ain't responsible for dealing with them for you. Be safer! Do better!

#actuallyptsd #actuallycptsd #like i have ptsd too #triggers are not an excuse for shitty behavior *coughcough*brandy*cough* #who used her ptsd as an excuse to get defensive and hostile when i dared speak up about a boundary of mine :/ #basically just assumed the worst about me rather than trusting that i meant no harm. just needed some goddamn clarity jfc #done asking about her #done with giving her the benefit of the doubt #i have a qpp and my studies to focus one so fuck off #RESPECT PEOPLE'S FUCKING BOUNDARIES YOU DODOS #IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[noodles-and-tea]

i love your modern merthur art so i have to ask, what do you think Arthur’s favorite and least favorite thing about the 21st century would be if when he’s revived?

I think (once he gets used to it) Arthur would really appreciate technology and playing easier Nintendo games (especially if Merlin can play with (for) him)

I think he’d also like binging tv or movie series and comfy clothes (he lives in sweats) and taking very long, hot showers (figures)

As for his least favourite things I think he would occasionally get homesick, less as he grows accustomed to his new life but he would definitely miss his friends and the knights and Gwen.

:(

#that was a roller coaster of an ask sorry lads #why would you make me angsty take me back to Arthur breaking Merlin’s tv >:((( #but I also think Arthur would have a bit of ptsd and nightmares and whatnot #Merlin has to sit with him and calm him down #but Arthur does for Merlin too #actually I would like to change my answer #Arthur’s favourite thing about the 21st century is actually Merlin #:)) #my art #ask #bbc merlin #merlin #merlin emrys #prince Arthur #Arthur pendragon #merthur

[littlecrittereli]

I don't usually post my sketches but I really like how this one turned out.

What's the point of angst without some good aftermath healing?

#reprogrammed au #wk reprogrammed au #wild kratts #chris kratt #martin kratt #littlecrittereli #wild kratts fanart #I guess spoilers for the fic but not rlly? #I am projecting chronic nightmares from PTSD onto Chris fr #but it's okay cause Martin is here :) #Small headcanon they have actual rooms in the Tortuga #u cannot convince me they actually just sleep in hammocks every night #they probably share a room too to save space bc it is like a giant turtle and they got shit to do so #POV you're a very tidy person being forced to share a small living space with your messy as hell brother #but thats a story for another day

[syrupfog]

AU where Sanji never actually left Germa, and Judge made him a test subject early on, successfully getting rid of his empathy after years of torture.

But like, he has those years of bullying from his brothers first, and his empathy’s gone but his anger’s still there. Also with no Zeff, he fights with his fists and doesn’t treat women Like That. Because Zeff’s the one who instilled in him to never hit a woman (and made it weird but that’s not the point).

He’s out on some mission in the Grand Line when he runs into the Straw Hats and he sees Zoro’s green hair and associates it with Yonji and he just haaaates him on sight.

The fight is super evenly matched and Zoro manages to knock him out eventually but he’s like what’s the guy’s DEAL. Wtf is his problem.

Maybe Law’s with them when it goes down and he recognizes that costume and fanboys…

Oh actually yeah— Law’s with them! And after Zoro knocks him out, Law goes into Creepy Surgeon Mode and is like for the love of god please let me get my fingers in that chest cavity

And everyone else (bar Robin ofc) is like Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

But Law gets a room going and finds all sort of odd Germa technology literally implanted in him and starts pulling it out and messing with it and suddenly Sanji wakes UP and he’s— he’s scared. And overwhelmed. He’s in real time having to reckon with years of torturing people.

And Law’s like oh the emotional part of this is not in my pay grade this is not my job anymore and dips.

So Sanji’s there in the Sunny’s infirmary like “I’m a monster I need to be put down oh my god” and Luffy shows up like HEY you’re cool as hell join my crew.

Zoro is not a fan of this option and also it turns out neither is Sanji BUT sanji has nowhere to go so he makes a deal to sail with them until the next habitable island. So Zoro watches him like a hawk bc he’s like “you’re definitely faking this and are gonna turn evil and try to kill people again right”

But instead he just keeps finding Sanji being really pathetic and sad and looking longingly at the kitchen (Robin doubles as the cook and her food is damn near inedible but that’s just the life of a pirate innit)

Late one night Zoro comes off watch and he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and he thinks OH he’s going to try to POISON US so he sneaks in after him and confronts him, swords and all. And Sanji, who knows what an awful person he’s been and knows he deserves death, just starts crying and is like “yeah you can kill me just let me cook one thing once I just want to remember what it feels like”

So Zoro lets him cook, and is like yeah I’m killing you after this, and Sanji spends a long time sniffling as he re-familiarizes himself with pots and pans and spices and knives and ends up making something garlic-y and delicious that smells strong enough to wake up the crew, and everyone traipses in enraptured by the smell. So Sanji serves them and Zoro tries it first because if it’s poisoned he’s not letting EVERYONE go down. But it’s not poisoned and it’s really good, and anyway Zoro can’t kill him now in front of everyone.

But three nights later the same thing happens— he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and follows him and Sanji says “I know you should’ve killed me last time but you couldn’t, I get that, but I’m dangerous. So let me cook just one more time and then you can kill me.”

And it doesn’t happen of course. Everyone comes in and everyone eats and Zoro watches Sanji recover a little of himself.

And so it goes. At first every few nights and then every other night, and then every single night.

And whenever Zoro comes in, Sanji says, I know I deserve to die but let me cook just one more thing.

And at some point Zoro stops thinking about killing Sanji. He’s a part of the crew now. He’s proving himself, and anyway Zoro can beat him and hold him down and Law can reverse whatever it is again if needs be.

So it’s just a thing they do. Zoro lightly threatens him and Sanji begs for his life and they move on. It’s routine but it doesn’t actually MEAN anything anymore.

That is, until one really bad night where Sanji doesn’t show up in the kitchen like he always does, and Zoro goes looking and finally finds him deep in the steerage, and Sanji says, “I can’t keep living like this, please just kill me. I can’t keep living knowing I’m going to die the next day.”

And Zoro’s like ???? You’re not gonna die the next day wtf

And Sanji says, please, just get it over with.

Zoro realizes that Sanji has continued all this time assuming Zoro really is coming to kill him every night

But it’s been MONTHS at this point. Surely he wouldn’t still think—

But Sanji’s wracked with more than a decade’s worth of guilt, is so sure he deserves the worst the world possibly has to offer.

Too bad Zoro’s a little in love with him at this point. And says anyone who wants to kill Sanji will have to go through Zoro first.

Which Sanji DOESNT UNDERSTAND and he doesn’t understand the kiss Zoro follows it up with, but he returns it. Greedily.

Because as much as he knows he deserves death, he also relishes every moment of life, every chance to feel the emotions he wasn’t allowed. And Zoro goes from jailer to protector in his mind. Slowly. Hesitantly.

He spends years working through the trauma, decades really, but the simplicity with which Zoro sees the world helps. Zoro doesn’t blame him. Zoro loves him. Sanji doesn’t know much but he knows he’ll defend this ship that saved him with his life.

And he knows Zoro wouldn’t let Sanji defend HIM with his life, because Zoro views his life as precious and important.

Which is something Sanji is still learning.

He’ll get there.

#zosan #it’s always a toss up what fics to write vs what to just throw out into the void like this #uhhhhh I need a tag for this #would this go in the Zosan fanfic tag I dunno if that’s just for finished fic #my writing #I guess that works #anyway cross posted from twitter since I have like 3 followers lmao #and tbh it’s been a week I’m still thinking about this #(I’m thinking about writing omegaverse Zosan more tho) #(and ptsd law who’s scared of luffy) #(too little time in the world)

[hel7l7]

I just need someone who understands, who really gets it someone who'll hold me through the worst of it all

#this feels ungrateful #i have plenty of friends who i love dearly who are really there for me #but sometimes i want somoene who gets it #who knows what it's like #someone who will hold me and hug me and not look away #i've been watching too much movies/shows #my expectations are too high #vent art #venting #mixed media #cptsd #ptsd

[muzzleroars]

Michael, the Ruined Prince

Michael, having used all of his power to seek out God, had failed as the Prince of Heaven. He had abandoned his people, absent for centuries on a fruitless search filled with unheard, increasingly desperate prayers and an unrelenting, bone-deep exhaustion that is now permanent. His grief grew day by day, and an angel in isolation begins to wither, to warp – they must be with one another lest they twist into their extremes, retreating into their divine purpose until it becomes self-destructive parody. And Michael had already been scarred long ago by his role in banishing Lucifer, by God’s own ever-mounting wrath that ate away at the mercy he was meant to feel alongside it. Michael had already been insular, something had already pulled at the seams of his soul, and now centuries of failure consume him. He would return to Heaven with nothing for his people. Nothing for the siblings he swore to protect.

So his final thought in a deeply troubled mind urged him to try one last time. That if he could not find God, then he must bring God to himself. He must sin, he must beg for punishment, and then God will come to deliver it onto him. Just as He once did to Lucifer. It disgusted him, to think he had to debase himself to be as the sinners he held nothing but vile contempt for ever since he couldn’t cope with the guilt of the first fallen angels. But his prayers have failed, his days of weeping have failed, he moved Heaven, Earth, and all of Hell to come up with empty hands. Less than that. Not even a feeling. So Michael, even as a Cherub who could not, did everything he could to replicate his memories of when he had witnessed God Himself tear the light from His angels. Michael had seen it every time, it was he that had to bind any fallen angel that survived it to their place in Hell. He knew, implicitly, what the ritual was even if God seemed to enact it in one beautiful, elegant motion. And he did just that. Imperfect pantomiming, flawed execution, but the same ritual as best as Michael could copy it. All to himself.

But only God and the high Seraphim can sever an angel from their light.

His soul was rent from his body. His light was torn to shreds by his inexperienced hands. The agony that it screeched resounded all the way back to Heaven in unintelligible, muted whispers of nauseous grief no one could understand. Michael felt himself die, but it was incomplete. He was left in a corpse, a body destroyed and succumbing to all it meant but with him still inside of it. God did not come, and Michael was trapped a ruined body, bereft of a soul, of his light, giving way to rot and deterioration yet fully functional. He could do nothing but take this as a sign from God, one that he will not be punished no matter his crime for being such a loyal servant. Even as his body falls apart, as plants begin to burst from his remains, he believes himself to be blessed – see how he grows God’s garden. See how his crown remains pristine. He adorns his exposed bones with gems and finery, ostensibly as thanks to God for keeping him alive, keeping him sinless when he had so despised his impending fall from grace. But. Michael is, in the back of his mind, highly aware of what he’s become. He knows he is rotting, he knows he is in a dead body, he knows, somewhere, God had nothing to do with it. It was just a mistake, it was just his own foolishness with catastrophic consequence. He is more noxious than a fallen angel now, a botch job shambling numbly back to Heaven when he feels the death of Gabriel.

Upon his return, he largely attempts to hide the rot of his body, at least from the citizenry – he cannot hide it from Raphael or Uriel, nor does he try. To Michael, it proves his devotion, it shows God’s still present love for him, and it is a testimony to how he cannot fall, that he can never lose his place in Heaven. Raphael begs for him to be healed, Uriel pleads reason to him, but neither had ever been as strong as Michael and ultimately, he is their leader. No matter the state he returns in, he is the Prince of the Archangels and truthfully...they both fear him now. He is not the Michael they loved, not the one that had been quiet and stoic yet still loving in return. The Michael that would have done anything for them, that never wanted to lose another like he lost Lucifer. He commands them now to join him in binding Gabriel, his tangible grief the only thing that seems to be left of who he had once been.

Internally, Michael sees their fear, he feels the crushing guilt of Gabriel’s fall, he is violently ill with one true look at himself. He had gone wrong a long, long time ago, when he lost Lucifer, and now all of that was being made manifest, but he can’t face it. As flesh falls away, he covers it more and more with jewels as if that could hide the decay he can feel spreading night and day, the only thing he feels now. He must retreat into his purpose, he must not allow such devastating failure to be his legacy. So he turns on Gabriel. Gabriel, whose light had been severed. Who walks freely in an abandoned Hell. Who still has a living, breathing body. Michael’s vitriol toward the damned hones in on Gabriel, consumed with being sure he is left nailed to the lowest pit in Hell for his treachery. All the love he once had turns to hatred and in it, the other three can see that Michael has been left shattered, that nothing in him truly believes God made him this way. God’s most loyal, left to rot.

Additional information:

Michael now always exudes the Odor of Sanctity, but there is a distinct undertone of mold to it

The opalescent webbing that runs through his body is the angelic brain - normally it is iridescent and transparent with a strange glow, but Michael's is opaque and dull

Michael now prefers walking, something noted as unusual when he returned to Heaven, but it's simply due to the fact that his body has been left entirely numb and so it's difficult to maneuver in the air properly

He is very protective of his crown and dragon-skin bag, as they seem to be the only things left uncorrupted on him

#finally...michael but he Came Back Wrong #poor guy always had the angelic equivalent of depression/ptsd #but there was just no word for that in paradise #he really only talked with the other archangels #but he loved them. a whole lot. so he's super messed up about gabriel now #esp since he's obviously in a horrendous headspace at this point #if there's a good ending tho gabe's like 'well. the ferryman does just fine so!!!' #and raphael's 'we'll love you as a skeleton too!! :)' #michael: :\\\\ #ultrakill #ultrakill oc #michael #gore cw #body horror cw #death cw #doodle tag #OH also his organs are based on sheep organs. more sheep-coding the angels #i just love the idea of them having viscera....but for WHAT....no one knows #but they got that jellyfish brain #sorry i went insane about him over the weekend lol #rise and fall au

[skoulsons]

“It’s all right. You’re with me.”

This struck me immediately. She wakes up in a car and feels wonky because of all the drugs in her system. More than that, Joel’s not in her field of view, and I think she panics for a second because “where is he?”

But even beyond that, they’re used to this. He is used to her waking up in a panic and having to reassure her to bring her back. He doesn’t even think about saying this because he’s probably woken up most mornings to her scared or reliving her nightmares in Winter. Or maybe he’s had to wake her up on the road from her nightmares. He’s become so accustomed to reassuring her through moments like this that he doesn’t even think about it when they’re in the car. “You’re with me,” “it’s me,” “I’m here,” “it’s just me,” it’s all she needs to hear to bring her back and calm her down

#maybe this is me reading too many fics #but it makes total sense for her to have nightmares over it??? #I mean she still has debilitating ptsd from it so it makes total sense #but the second he said this I was like oh. #oh. he definitely has reassured her a lot in their nights on the road. #the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams

[wttcsms]

horribly short summary of what im trying to accomplish here, but if you were to read a fic featuring character, a soldier honorably discharged and is officially off the battlefield and yet he can’t seem to shake off the war from clinging to his body, and he’s basically a bit of a mess and feels incapable of returning to ordinary life and there’s you, the sweetest thing in the whole world, and he keeps trying to tell you he’s no good and you’re there to help him with everything (and it kills him a bit, to see you wasting your time to help him, and it kills him because he feels like he shouldn’t be the type of person who needs help) and !! just slowburn and falling in love and just read the tags for the vibe ok, who would it be for

#i was originally thinking ghost from cod since hello there’s so much source material to work with #and the fic would suit him nicely but also idk if i have cod readers left on my blog #so any characters are fine like an aot character would also prob fit the bill for this #but ive just been thinking abt everyone who’s analyzing hozier’s snippet #with how he takes his coffee black and his whiskey neat and how this girl is too sweet FOR HIM #as in… not being deserving of something so nice #and feeling that way but also showing how in the healing process - in the process of getting better - #we start to discover that we are allowed to enjoy and indulge in nice things. that we also deserve to live a life full of sweetness #and it’s a bit serious since it will touch on ptsd; on survivors guilt #and the fic is long - spanning from getting together to him having kids w u #& how even after all this time sometimes the war is still fresh as ever on his mind #and just !!! it’s a lot #also that Taylor line that’s like ‘is it really your anxiety that keeps you from giving me everything? #‘or do you just not want to’ + ‘you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody’

[mayordoi]

frobin drawing based on utsu-p’s diarrhea album art. cuz redrawing utsup albums with my silly little blorbo is what i do :>

#mayor doidles #fanart #fe #fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #fe awakening #fe 13 #robin fire emblem #frobin #idk if ill tag vocaloid lol its too loose. but ill check my older posts w my past redraws to see if i did that #digital art #simple/sketch #i have like three more i wanna do. algorithm cd-r and unique #i guess galapagos too since i never finished my original try at that but i dont feel like it #and i never drew ptsd with robin [drew my oc instead cuz it fit more] but i aint stressin about that

[akatsukitrash]

Scapegoat vs Golden Child. When you see the self you hate in your oldest and the woman you love in your youngest.

I like to think Butsuma was harsher on Hashirama because he saw his child self in him, while he saw his deceased wife in Tobirama. I love exploring the fucked up Senju dynamics in But in this twilight, our choices seal our fate. Chapter 3 coming up this Friday :D

#tobirama senju #hashirama senju #butsuma senju #senju tobirama #senju hashirama #senju butsuma #senju clan #naruto #naruto fanart #btw the boys' mom doesnt have silver hair and red eyes. she has light brown hair and black eyes #u can see her colourized version in a previous art ive posted #also i like the idea that sjes the original Senju Pout #and that hashirama has dimples. he has a dimples guy kind of vibe #butsuma is abusive to both of them but hes a bit more leniant towards tobs bc he sees his wife in him and bc hes the sick kid #hashirama takes too much after him. and hes terrified kf seeikg his son make the same 'mistakes' #everyone in this fic has ptsd atp lmaooo

[alexjcrowley]

Btw I can't believe all the Hamilton edits with Hamilton the musical, especially to Wait for it but when they're done with Carlos

Like girl be fr if someone is his Burr that's not Carlos that's Nico fucking Rosberg, he owned that role

Carlos and Lewis have had beef for a month because Vasseur gave Lewis Carlos's job, you want bitter soul crushing rivalry that's been destroying another guy's life step by step, that's been booked by Britney since day one

#lewis hamilton #carlos sainz #nico rosberg #f1 #formula 1 #ferrari #edit #hamilton the musical #brocedes #BE FR I woulf be mad too if someone stole my job that's normal #you want the yearning the fury the jealous heart that's nico for you #Carlos doesn't have all that hate specifically for Lewis like it's normal now they got beef because of the 2025 seat #but he would have had beef with whoever took that seat last minute you know #yes recovered Hamilton fan getting ptsd from these edits speaking wait for it it's not the song for the sainz-lewis beef #no shade to whoever did these edits because they look really good #just I have seen like five of them with Carlos and Lewis to Wait for it #WHERE ARE THE BROCEDES EDITS TO WAIT FOR IT #WHERE ARE THE WORLD WAS WIDE ENOUGH EDITS WITH BROCEDES #your obedient servant is NOT carlos and lewis song it's lewis and nico #No Carlos hasn't looked back on where he failed and every place he checked the only common thread has been Lewis's disrespect #THAT'S NICO #Unless there is some serious Lewis Carlos lore I am missing I am sorry no #I write for a magazine where a colleague 'steals' an article I wanted to write I get pissed off but I don't break into dramatic songs #on how the guy has been ruining my life forever #RESPECT. NICO'S. ANGER.

[birdantlers]

Guess who bought tickets to that. fucking blorbo movie..

#if they dont give piccolo some kind of actual arc in this I'm going to start biting ppl no cap #gohan too for that matter #[wendy williams voice] can we address the trauma? clap if we should address the trauma— #i want gohan having 7 panic attacks and a thats so raven spiral abt pan getting wrapped up in Some Bullshit and him being like #''oh god not again not to my kid'' or whatever #toriyama you goon i know you're approaching senile but can you remember when Gohan had ptsd. do you remember that do y #dbz #i cant draw adult gohan to save my life. deal with it #gohan #piccolo #dbs super hero #dragon ball super: super hero #dbs spoilers #son gohan #dbs #skart

[ilynpilled]

hi guys i was in an accident and had to be in the hospital for a while but im home now

#stressful bday month but we r back hello #had to get some meds out of my system but im alright now #my surgeries went well and physically my injuries r like a bad bike accident but ye nothing bad my face is fine now too mostly #got bumped to the side and broke my face and arm #something w my hip but it healed itself didnt break or smn #school on pause dont have to go so ill have time to relax anyway #reblogged some stuff in the hospital too which is funny bc i don’t remember when or that i did it after the accident but i remember #actually doing it #hopefully i can put this whole experience behind me now #i have some therapy recommended but thats understandable #it was worse than what im describing rn but i dont remember anyway it was just rough as a whole #my memories sorrounding it r vague and little but thats normal #acute stress phase but i think we avoided it becoming ptsd #i survived and thats what matters #shout out to the doctors that saved me #mostly from drowning in blood

[aleksanderscult]

Me when I realize that Alina ended up with a man that slut-shamed her, didn't accept her as she is (with her powers and status), fucked around girls knowing that Alina knew, didn't stop his friends from bullying her and made her feel guilty for being happy and healthy:

#the longer I think about it. the more I want to lobotomize myself #and don't tell shit to me about him not having a problem with her powers or that he suffered from PTSD #1) that is no excuse to make somebody else feel like shit #2) the Darkling had been fighting for four centuries too. Do you not think that he didn't see traumatic things as well? #Leigh who the fuck did you choose to give our girl to #Alina deserved better #anti malina #anti mal oretsev #anti mal #alina starkov #darklina #pro darklina #alarkling #pro alarkling #grishaverse #grishaverse trilogy #shadow and bone #siege and storm

[razzek]

I keep seeing all this stuff in Metroid fandom (and arguably from the creative team themselves) about Samus having a motherly bond with (voice) The Baby but, like, she handed that thing over to be dissected by military scientists SO fast. I could see her being surprised that it had formed such an attachment with her by the end of Super Metroid cuz yeah that was unexpected and weird. But chances are high she saved that last bby metroid with the intent of it being used for study and destroyed in the process.

It is funny imagining her going on parent/child bonding trips with the galaxy's second most dangerous life form though.

#metroid #super metroid #I've always felt like she's one of those emotionally detached action movie badass types #too cool to have feelings #ptsd from dragon that ate her family in front of her? #nah fuck that gun to it’s face. a lot. #surprise emergency surgery? #yeah whatever get in the car military bozos we're going alien murdering #become the monster you hunted and hated your whole life? #bummer but no time for that there's a planet you haven't blown the fuck up yet #also you're mostly a bird in a human body and I feel there is so much wasted comedic potential there