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#actuallycptsd
unstablemotions · 17 days
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Hey, you! You who suspect you might have PTSD, DID or another trauma disorder, but you think you didn't experience trauma "bad enough" to have developed a mental disorder from it? Let me suggest looking at it differently:
"If there's smoke, there's fire"
Do you experience symptoms of PTSD, such as hypervigilance, trouble sleeping, flashbacks, memory problems, dissociation, ect? Then yes, it was "bad enough". Maybe you don't remember anything "really bad" happening or you don't "feel like" it affects you, but listen to your body. The body remembers and the body doesn't care if you think it is "stupid" or "weak" to have a panic attack when someone touches you or that you still have nightmares about that thing you saw when you were 4 years old
Trauma isn't what happened. Trauma is the reaction to what happened. So what I'm trying to say is that if the reason you think you can't have PTSD/DID/OSDD/ect is because you didn't go through anything horrific enough for that, then maybe forget about what happened to you for a moment and just look at the evidence your body and mind are showing. And then, most importantly, be compassionate with yourself. You're going through a lot and it's gonna be okay in the end. Take it easy, okay? <3
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"I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy" well I fucking would
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webkinzpossum · 1 year
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wingedbeings · 1 year
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wormworker · 3 months
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!!! Psychotic does NOT mean violent and it's super fucced up that this term has become a buzzword for violent things or just things people don't like !!!
When a person is having a psychotic episode, it means they're in an emotional crisis so far outside the threshold of what they can endure.
A person in psychosis is almost always harmless to others.
They will shut down, be unresponsive, be crying hysterically, having anger fits, desperately reaching out for someone to talk to, saying things that don't make sense, seeming unusually upset by random things, pacing, muttering thoughts out loud, and being unable to access or effectively use coping skills.
A person having a psychotic episode NEEDS YOUR HELP. You most likely will not be able to effectively communicate with them about what they need (though maybe offer a paper and pencil or mobile phone if it helps for them to write it out).
Try playing their favorite music, just sitting with them and not prying, making them a comforting drink or their favorite food, helping them get to a quiet place, giving them a blanket or a fan, putting on their favorite movie, giving them a fidget toy, etc.
And always remember, everyone is different and has different things that help them. Some may not want help and just want to be left alone until the episode passes but you can still try to un-invasively check in on them while still giving them space.
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chemicalcarousel · 10 months
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The fawn response is such a horrible struggle to deal with
TW // SA , child abuse , death threats
We are survivors of early childhood trauma and when you are a toddler, you can't fight or flee your own parent. This leaves you with two other options - freeze and fawn. While freeze left us totally defenceless, fawn gave us a fake sense of control. If we please our abuser, they won't kill us. If we "go along", it was our choice and we have the power to navigate our abuser. We can play the game and survive by making them satisfied. All this was of course subconsciously learned as we were abused since birth
While fawning made a lot of sense when we were 4 years old and at the mercy of a grown adult that we lived with 24/7, it is very maladaptive when it happens in our everyday life as a 27 year old person, who's physically removed from our abusers
I will now share some personal experiences involving sexual harassment/abuse:
We struggle with men sexually harassing us online and we can't say no. We try to send them signals with a shaky voice, like "I don't know" or "I'm not sure", but they never pick up on it. We've ended up having some sort of video call sex with a guy once while we were drunk and through the entire time, we just wanted it to be over and forget about it. Because of the fawn response, we couldn't leave the call, couldn't block the person, and couldn't close the app. Physically, it was always possible with no true consequences, but our nervous system stopped us from using any other defence response. We just acted without much control at all. A part of us stuck in time from when we were a toddler took control and just did what they were told. We felt horrible afterwards and blamed ourselves for not setting clear enough boundaries. But this fawning response didn't change when the same kinds of online harassment happened again and again
We've had men pressuring us into rating their dicks and their jerk off videos and again, instead of just leaving the call and reporting them, we just tried to please them. We were stuck in a flashback and just acting, not thinking. A poor "inner child" was trying to protect us by satisfying strangers' sexual needs. And we felt so fucking disgusting and stupid for it
I'm sharing this story in case other people might feel alone in their struggle with fawning. You're not alone and you're not disgusting. Your body and mind are trying to protect you. Be compassionate with yourself. We are on this healing journey together
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bunfart90 · 1 year
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it sucks having free time with PTSD because the PTSD will be like "let's do something upsetting" if you aren't already preoccupied
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traumatizeddfox · 1 year
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I just want to add my two cents for anyone still in that place, as someone who's survived and gotten out and is working on healing and becoming the best version of myself I can for myself and those around me, but especially for myself. I've struggled with suicidal ideation for IDEK how much of my life, definitely at least since my early teens (at least since I was 14; and the ED stuff started around 14/15 and the self-injury by 15), but even longer for abuse/neglect from my family, hell at school, mental illnesses, and chronic pain. I'm turning 32 on 4/24/23 and I'm still shocked that I somehow made it out of my teens alive and I'm still alive now.
And yeah, it's like what now because I wasn't expecting to live anywhere near this long. BUT it IS possible to make it through and there's nothing wrong with figuring it out as you go. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. No one ever has it all figured out and plans rarely go exactly how we think they will for anyone anyways, so it's not like you're behind in life or anything (though that's not even really a thing anyways because we're all different and have different goals and different paths in life). And you can change your goals and your path at any point. You're not bound to those goals or path if you realize they're not right for, for whatever reason; sometimes it's harder for various reasons to make those changes, but it is still possible.
So please do your best to keep fighting, keep moving forward, reach out for support and help as needed and as much as it's accessible to you (there is NO shame in needing and utilizing it, no matter what your brain and/or society/your culture/your religion tell you, though I know with professional support, there are often numerous barriers to accessing it unfortunately) and be as gentle and kind as possible with yourself (I KNOW it's not always easy and often feels impossible and/or like we don't deserve it/just feels plain wrong, I really do get that firsthand, but do your best to try, whatever your best looks like in that moment).
Things can get better, you can make it through, and if it's because you're in a toxic environment (like with your family or at school), you can and will get out of there sooner rather than later. And take it from me, it won't magically fix things or undo what you went through (though I really wish it did), and it can get worse before it gets better (especially if you've been stuck in survival mode for so long; and that's unfortunately part of the process, but that doesn't mean you're broken beyond repair or that things can't or won't get better or that you'd have been better off staying in that situation), but, again, be as gentle and kind to yourself as you can and reach out for support as needed, and keep reminding yourself that things will get better as long as you keep fighting and moving forward; you're worth fighting for, even if you can't believe that just yet.
I know for me, getting out of school and getting away from my abusers has definitely helped; again, I still need to work on healing from it and processing what I've gone through and dealing with other things, but it's so amazing to have the freedom to move around my place freely and to be able to come and go from my place as I want and need to and not have to worry about literally not being allowed back inside. I have my own place, my own space to call my own, and I can just be and not have to be on edge all the time, fearing what's going to happen next (unfortunately my nervous system still hasn't quite gotten that message, but that's from years of trauma/C-PTSD from that trauma and being on edge and is to be expected, but I'm absolutely so much better off away from them than I was when I was still stuck under the same roof as them).
Basically the point of my rambling is to say it can get better, so please hold on and keep fighting and moving forward and do your best (and sometimes your best is gonna be just making it through the day in one piece and there's no shame in that; making it through the day when everything seems to be going wrong and your brain is screaming at you to act on self-destructive urges and engaging in unhealthy coping skills if not just completely give up is a HUGE and AMAZING accomplishment and I hope you can feel even a tiny bit proud of yourself for that; at least in my book, that makes you a badass and shows that you're stronger than you may think/feel you are). You are worth fighting for and worthy of good things and you deserve to stay around and experience more of the good things in life, so please do your best to keep going. I'm sending so much love and strength and courage and hope and hugs and positivity to anyone who needs them (if you're not comfortable with the hugs, that's OK, just take the rest, even if you feel like you don't deserve them). 💕💕💕💕
The only reason I'm sharing the original post as a screenshot is because Tumblr wouldn't let me reblog it for some reason and I tried 2 or 3 times with no luck (and Tumblr is being annoying AF about doing it as an original post even; apparently I had to break it up into more paragraphs because apparently there's a character limit per paragraph, but I've been on Tumblr since like June 2010 and didn't know that and the app wasn't saying that was the issue, I only realized that because I decided to see if I could do it in the browser before trying to delete and reinstall the app, which is basically the only way I use Tumblr, so yeah; hopefully it'll actually work this time 🤞🏻), but I think this is something incredibly important to share and I hope that at least one person who needs to see this does see it and it helps them even a little bit. If you know of someone who needs to see this, send it to them or tag them in it because maybe, just maybe it'll be enough to help them keep fighting even just a little bit longer and let them know that there is hope and things can get better, even if they're not in a place to believe that yet (and no shame if anyone isn't there yet).
Also, feel free to share this on other social media, just credit the original poster and myself. I feel very strongly about getting this message of hope to as many people as possible.
And if anyone has the spoons to do an image description, that'd be greatly appreciated. I just don't right now, unfortunately. But I will reblog that version from you.
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unstablemotions · 5 months
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Every book about PTSD will repeatedly mention how your personality will change after the traumatic event. How this is an indicator that you have the disorder. How this is a universal experience for everyone who suffers from post traumatic stress.
But I never got to have a life before trauma. That person was killed before they were alive. All that remains is a broken shell from where a child was ripped out with violent teeth.
I didn't change from my trauma, because I never existed before it began.
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when you realise you're actually constantly experiencing flashbacks when you thought it was just anxiety
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the-hourglass-system · 3 months
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hey y’all looking for some advice/insight if you have the energy for that rn
we have some major pruning of the “family” tree to do however we’re also a system and members have very mixed opinions and experiences with these people. the bottom line is they are harmful and unable or unwilling to address and correct their behavior. the relationships cannot continue as they are so regardless of the attachments folks may have these cut offs will be occurring. that said I’m trying to minimize the damage for us.
in the past when cutting people off the ramifications were great. lacking the understanding I have now of being a system meant that there was no communication prior to relationships ending. entire system reset occurred and i’d like to avoid that happening again.
younger parts especially don’t necessarily have a full understanding of everything so tips on working with them through this would be great. whether that’s from the perspective of another system or a parent bc honestly this is essentially parenting lmao. how tf do you explain to a traumatized child the complex layers of abuse and racism within the people that raised you and all this other shit when it’s something you’re still processing yourself. and in general how do you cope with removing people that still claim to love you without ever following that up with genuine actions😶
also long ass shot but if you have RAMCOA resources.. lemme know
if you made it this far thanks for reading🫶🏽
-Tarrin
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wormworker · 3 months
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Recovery is not linear.
You can feel fine about something for years and then suddenly it's caving in on you again.
You can feel numb about something that just happened, and then a few months later, it feels like you'll never be okay again.
Time does not heal all wounds. It takes work. It can involve a lot of being catapulted back and and forth between recovery and feeling like you're getting worse.
There are people, habits, and places that you will need to stay away from to stop falling into the sinkholes. There are some things that will guarantee that you'll never get better if you don't distance yourself from them.
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scribbleheaded · 6 months
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thatkinkyautistic · 6 months
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Rsd feels absolutely horrific. So does actual rejection,I react very intensely to both perceived and actual rejection. It's agonizing. It is a huge deal,it's like having an anxiety attack on top of an panic attack on top of extreme,severely debilitating sadness. When I experience distress,it is genuinely very,very painful. Everytime I get that oh so familiar feeling wrenching in my guts,that reminds me of all of my more traumatic social interactions.
So please,be gentle with me. I'm a highly sensitive person because of my adhd,autism and cptsd. I'm very fragile.
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traumatizeddfox · 2 years
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