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#like i dont like my birthday bc i dont like attention and also bc the fact i am still alive when i never planned to be is so heavy
melto · 2 months
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my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.
#like i dont like my birthday bc i dont like attention and also bc the fact i am still alive when i never planned to be is so heavy#which makes it feel like all of a sudden i have a timer and i need to kiilllmyself#but mostly. The biggest issue is i think of my exbest friend bc it was our week always even if they treated me horrible#and i would just go along with whatever they wanted even if i hated it and i just think about them think about them think about them#and i dont want them in my life but i will talk myself into missing them#and feel guilty like its my fault like i deserved everything they did to me like i should never be allowed to move past it#and then i get so embarassed over how i let them rule my life and ruin so much for me and made me break away from people i care about#but then its like im so lonely at least they were always there even if they hated me#even if they wanted me to be so miserable even if they just wanted to know they would always have someone to push around#And i still have trouble when it comes to food im still scared of opening up to people im still scared of my friends of buying new clothes#somehow everything they said to and about me was true even though none of it is and it hurt me and ruined so much#but i must have deserved it. they were supposed to know me best. and i never have known myself#so everything they had said about me has been true for so long.#every time i have the thought that i miss them i think i need to crash my car#every year it gets better every week it is easier but its been so bad recently its been so bad i feel like pieces of me are falling apart#i dont want to manifest this year it being bad bc its just starting to get easier after my total depressive state but god#im looking at are they made for me years ago and i want to rip it apart but i cant every time i try i almost throw up.#i think im going to throw up right now.#deeply pathetic.#news with isaac
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#stumbling through one moment to the next like ive just been hit in the face#which is to say disoriented. punch drunk. adrift in a sea of mental vertigo#to steal a phrase: emotional motion sickness#i dunno. its just a very specific feeling when ive burned thru all my steam and am moving purely on compulsive action#like someones dragging me forward by the hair. i start to peel apart. im moving but without thinking actions into being#ill be in the middle of an action and my brain catches up. oh? where am i? what am i doing? ok i guess im on autopilot#thats fine i guess. and i start slipping out of my body. which isnt so bad until im trying to draw and then i cant bc my attention keeps#sliding away. i cant draw when im not sitting in my body.#im in the 3 day lul between taking measurements. this is my break. i say as i stay here from 7.30 to 5.30 bc of the other things i have to#do. and i haven't got the data ready for a meeting tomorrow so fuck the rest of my day i guess#ugh. i at least accomplished some things yesterday. but im in a standoff between saying fuck it and paying for an apartment vs waiting to b#contacted by student housing when there's currently a waitlist. i just wanna kno i have a place to go#also ive fucked myself over on another thing i havent done and dont kno how to start. uuuuuugh.#when i take my headphones off my brain has a lag that sounds like static and whispers#y am i doing this to myself? given the choice to make it better or worse i choose worse at each turn#so here we r. worse and worse and worse. have i fucked it all up? maybe so. well see#i have to go in tomorrow too. and i have a meeting Thursday. and thrn were back to 11hr days until Tuesday#then if i have to attend a birthday party my head might fucking explode#unrelated
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boosterthisgold · 2 years
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Wonder where I've been?? (U better have)
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Lol.
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yelloworangesoda · 3 months
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genuinely like passively suicidal at this point bc i literally dont know why i bother. im not gonna kill myself but like someone deal with me im just dead weight
#im being dramatic but i really feel like theres absolutely 0 out there for me#i dont like the world we live in i… dont want to live in it. i dont think its worth it#every day i do whatever someone told me to do and then i go to bed and wake up and do it tomorrow and im just. not fine with that anymore#im not this depressed and upset during the day but its so bleak that ive considered faking it just for. yknow attention ig idk#but i dont have the time to do that either. i have to hang out with my boyfriend and go to my moms house and help out my grandma#all things that are so stressful to me. no offense babe if you ever read this but i get so stressed trying to do stuff with you bc you#always want me to decide. which like i understand but i never want to. i want to lay in bed idk what to tell you. theres no real solution t#that its fine its just whats true. i dont have any 2 person hobbies bc. idk. ive never actually had friends or something#anyway please god dont read this before your birthday weekend and feel uptight about it. and never do. its fine its fine i promise#this is embarrassing. youre the only one that sees these posts though i think i may as well address them to you outright. i feel like im a#terrible boyfriend bc i dont do anything. im so passive i feel like im just pathetic dead weight and im so scared to have been dating you#for a year bc thats an entire year of your life you couldve been finding someone that doesnt Just love you and want be with you but also is#like. good to be with. i know youd probably be thinking that its not true or something but theres nothing i have done that you havent done#tenfold youre just too good for me. idk#this is so embarrassing i should delete this#simons spouting#another. stupid vent post in the books. i wonder what tomorrow brings us#vent :(#suicide //
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beneaththegildedmoon · 8 months
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I will often remark that i think somethings looks cool or is interesting and contrary to what my family appears to believe I do not mean "wow this is my favourite thing to look at ever, please only get me gifts relating to this specific style from this point forward"
I often don't even mean "this appeals to my aesthetic tastes on a personal level" or "I would like the things around me in day-to-day life to look like this"
I literally just think it looks cool or visually interesting and am a human being capable of admiring the aesthetic qualities of something even if its not my personal favourite style. I don't know how to convey this information to people without it coming across like I'm embarrassed to admit to liking it or sth, but I also can't stop my stupid brain from blurting it out every time
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chvoswxtch · 1 year
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Hiii
ik your requests are closed but if you have time n feel up to it, could you write a fic, blurb or even just head canons about how Frank would celebrate you and your birthday? Hes seems like the “anything you want is yours” kinda guy, even if it’s getting coffee then spending the day at home he would still make it special. Its my birthday haha and i dont want a big celebration just a low key day doing little things i love with the ppl i love. Omg this is sappy hahah but yeah if you have the time, thank you!! And I totally understand if you dont ❤️❤️
-Max 💥
OMG ANGEL
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX !!! ❤️
my fic requests are currently closed, but i'd be more than happy to whip you up a little birthday treat! i'm gonna go with a headcannon if that's okay bc I have a lot of thoughts about frankie & birthdays I don't think I can properly translate into a blurb right now so please find my rambling below the cut :)
frank castle & your birthday
frankie strikes me as someone that is a hopeless romantic at heart, and I feel like his love language is physical touch but also acts of service. I think we've seen that he pays a huge attention to detail, so he might not go like all out for your birthday, especially if he knows you prefer something small and intimate, but he would definitely make sure it felt special
he would probably start by taking you to your favorite coffee shop, getting you a little birthday breakfast treat with your coffee, and it would probably be the one time he doesn't criticize your drink order (he definitely thinks plain black coffee is real coffee) or comment on how much espresso you added to it (i'm on that pedro pascal shit myself, & I know the only time frankie wouldn't give me shit about it is my birthday bc he's legally required to be extra nice that day)
"you're gonna be hoppin' around like the goddamn energizer bunny with all that. it's your day though. get what you want, sweetheart."
he would insist that you sit down at one of the cute little tables so you can enjoy your coffee and little breakfast together, while you try to get hints from him about what he has planned (he'd resist as long as he could but it's really hard for him to say no to you)
I could see him taking you to do something that you had been begging him to do for awhile. something he kept putting off, or there wasn't time, or he acted like he didn't wanna go, but really he was just saving it for your special day. maybe a trip to an art museum, the aquarium, some botanical gardens, or the zoo even
or maybe a romantic stroll through central park. he'd bring a blanket and your favorite book, let you cuddle up in his lap as he read to you, play with your hair and point out all the cute dogs you saw to each other
even though he'd already gotten your birthday gifts weeks ago, he'd take you to your favorite store and let you pick out anything you wanted
"what? i'm not allowed to spoil my girl on her birthday? if that's a crime, it sure ain't the worst one i've ever committed."
as far as the evening, I see it going two ways: frankie either makes a reservation at your favorite restaurant and invites your closest friends and family to keep it intimate, or he surprises you with a special dinner he cooked himself (your favorite meal) along with a homemade birthday cake (it might not be the prettiest, but it would be delicious) because we know frankie can throw down in the kitchen
if you went out for dinner, he would insist on giving you your gifts & card at home because they're special and sentimental and he's shy when it comes to things like that, and he likes it better when those moments just consist of the two of you
if you had dinner at home, he would roll his eyes when you begged him to sing you happy birthday, but he would oblige because he can't tell you no
"alright, fine. but you're patchin' up your own ears when they start bleedin'. you know I can't sing for shit."
he would ask you several times throughout the day if you were having a good birthday, because he wants to make sure that you are because he thinks you deserve nothing less than as close to perfection as he can provide
he'd also continuously tell you how pretty he thought you were and how much he loved you and how lucky he felt to get to spend your special day with you
I could see him putting your favorite song on and asking you to slow dance with him in the living room to it, drawing out every single minute of your birthday all the way up to 11:59 and making sure you spent every second of it feeling loved and special
"today's one of my favorite days. know why? cause it was the day you were brought into this world, and I think that deserves a goddamn celebration. happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you."
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plasmasimagination · 1 year
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BIRTHDAY SPECIAL
An/: bc today is my birthday and i want my scara to scenarios ahh
Xiao
He is litteraly so confused about what that mortal thing called birthday is. So when you ask him stuff like "guess ehat day today iss???" or "today iss a special day you knoww" he would be utterly confused. Later he would tell hu tao about how ut acting weird and she would explain to him that its your birthday. After realizing that he totally blew it and that ur probably mad at him he would try his best to find something you like and ur favourite food. He will shyly tap you on ur shoulder and shove the stuff into ur arms, quietly whispering "happy... Bit-birthday...." while looking away. When you hug him in happiness he would get all embarrassed for forgetting it.
Venti
This man would not forget it like im so sure for some reason. Hes kinda broke to get you anything but he would litteraly sneak up to you hugging you from behind with a cheeky smile. Handing u a clumsly wrapped gift, when you open it, its a beatiful flower bracelet. He tells you that the flowers will never die, "just like his love for you" claims. Its very cheesy and he knows it but he doesnt care he just wants you to feel loved. After he sees your smile he knows it been worth performing that trick to keep the Bracelet fresh. He then sings you clingy love songs to you all day and tells you how much he loves you while snuggling in your neck..
Zhongli
My guy wouldnt do anything super duper special but he would invite you for a tea and a walk around the city. He would talk to you about all fun time you guys had together.
At the end of the day he would bring you to the middle of liyue and sit you down at a fine restoraunt and then. BANG BANG, fireworks in every color possible,(im sorry if u dont like firework then just imagine it being latterns or smth). Hw would then grab your hand and gently kiss it while looking at the firework(or lattern whatever)
SCARAMOUCHE (mu husband back off gr gr)
Hes also confused like "birthday" whats that? But he knows how kuch it means to you so he sends his assistent to get you something (he tells them what to get you bc he knows what you like). Will litteraly shake u awake to tell you that he made breakfast for you (he cant cook that well but he really gave everything to make this good for u). He will stare at you to observe your beauty while ur eating but when u ask what hes looking at he will look away saying that he was zooned out. After breakfast he will just shove the gifts in ur hands, hes litteraly spoiling you, he knows everything u like and it was precisely picked by his assistent but he wont admit it hell just say tht he randomly picked stufd out because u would annoy him if he didnt get you smth (even if his love laungauge is gift giving and acts of service and his attachments issues love physical touch but sh). He wont do much more for your birthday but if you decide you want to go out he will agree eith a little resistance. He will also give you the right to be a little mror clingy with him, (he secretly enjoys thr attention but shh). He will also give u random kisses on the forhead as a additional birthday gift
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yelenasdiary · 1 year
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https://www.tumblr.com/yelenasdiary/714573048620204032/so-you-know-how-i-dont-post-on-weekends-yeah
HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!
Maybe a DKOL one shot where Nat decides to take R out to a bar for a lil action and also R doesn’t go out much bc she’s taking care of Dylan or working. All the attention goes to Nat, which she brushes off all the men’s advances. But then one man takes interest in R, but it’s quickly clear he’s being handsy and bold (just a dick and lowk a abusive). It gives R flashbacks to Kane and she starts to have a panic attack, but Nat calms us down. Maybe a lil dark Nat at the end where she “deals” with the guy 😏
I love how deliciously wonderful u balance dark Nat with soft/protective Nat so I would love to see that more!! THANK U HAPPY EARLY BDAY
Drabble || A Little Bit of Fun
Pairing: CEO! MobBoss! Natasha Romanoff x Single Mom! Reader (Platonic)
Summary: Natasha takes you out for a girls night
Angst | Comfort | Mentions of Drinking | Attention from Men, then becomes unwanted attention | Mentions of Violence | Language Warning | 1.4K |  
Notes: A night out with Nat would be so fun! I hope you enjoy this & thank you for the birthday message x So this is so much longer than a drabble lmao, whoops! 
Different Kind of Love Masterlist
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"Ready to go?" Natasha asked with a smile causing you to playfully roll your eyes at her, "Come on, don't be like that. Dyl will be fine with Bucky. If anything, Dyl will look after Bucky" Nat added with a chuckle as she grabbed your handbag off the dining table. "Are you sure about this? Clubs and bars haven't really been my thing since I found out about Dylan" you explained while quickly fixing your hair in the mirror. 
"Which is exactly why we're going. Just a few drinks, maybe some dancing, some karaoke and a good time. You've been work a lot, you need a break. Let your hair down" 
You frowned slightly, you never thought that Natasha, your boss for that matter would ever be one for a 'girls night' as they call it. "We'll be back by midnight, right? I don't want Dylan to worry" you turned to Natasha who nodded. 
"Dylan is with Bucky, they are probably playing with his trucks, eating some take out burgers and I wouldn't be surprised if Bucky has Dylan sitting on the sofa with apple juice watching the football game".
"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better" you bit your bottom lip in worry. 
"Y/n, we are going out. Dylan is safe, he's fed, he's warm and he's in good hands. We are going to have a great time; besides, I could do with the different scenery from the bar at home". 
With a sigh you gave in, grabbing your bag from Natasha's hands and following her out the door of your apartment. 
It had been a good few years since you last went out like this, in fact, the last time was that horrible night that somehow gave you your biggest blessing. Natasha wore a black dress that hugged her figure perfectly and you knew right away that she'd be catching eyes from the moment you both stepped into the bar. You didn't mind though, you found it amusing watching Nat send glares at people who thought they had a chance at buying her drink. 
"Before we go in there, I want you to relax" Natasha spoke as her driver pulled up outside the bar, "I am relaxed" you assured her. A lie. "You're not, you keep checking your phone and your knee won't stop bouncing!" Nat replied as she placed a hand on your bouncing knee. "I'm sorry" you looked at her, "the last time I had a night like this was the night" you admitted. 
"I know, but I promise you, nothing is going to happen. You're with me, as if I'm going to even let anything happen" Natasha's thumb gently stroked the top of your knee. "Promise?" you asked. You just needed her assurance. Natasha nodded, "just give it a chance and if you don't like it, we'll go back to mine and finish the night there" the red head offered. You took a deep breath in and nodded, "okay, let's go have fun" you smiled softly.
----
To your surprise the night was off to a wonderful start, you and Natasha sat by the bartender who wasn't shy of stealing looks of Natasha. Of course, Nat was gaining a fair bit of attention as the night went on, it was a plus for the two of you with the amount of free drinks that were sent to your end of the bar but eventually Natasha was tired of the attention and just sent the men a look that could kill. 
"Alright, tell me" you looked to Natasha as you took a sip of your cocktail, "all these men are basically falling at your knees and you're telling me you're not the slightest bit interested in any of them?" you asked. Natasha chuckled and shook her head, "I'm a lesbian honey, I'm surprised you didn't work that out" she replied before she downed a sip of her own drink. You took a moment to think and suddenly it all made sense to you why she never spoke about a husband, boyfriend or a celebrity crush for that matter. 
"What are we doing at a straight bar then?" you asked. 
"Because I'm not looking for anything, besides, I love the free drinks and disappointment on those men's faces" Natasha explained, "what about you? Have you thought about putting yourself out there a little? Now that Dylan is off to pre-school and all?" she asked.
"I didn't really get a chance to work that out, I guess. I mean, I make out with a few girls when I was in high school and I had a boyfriend at one stage but then Dylan came and I just put all of that to the side" you sipped your drink once more. 
"Why don't you give it ago tonight? That guy over there has been eyeing you all night, lets buy him a drink" Natasha smirked as she waved down the bartender while you glanced over to the tall brunette guy who sent a smile your way. "Nat, I don't know" you mumbled as you shifted your attention back to Natasha. "Too late" Nat playfully winked at you. 
"Hey there, can I get you a drink?" the man's voice spoke from behind you as you slightly turned to look up at him, "I think I bet you too it" you smiled as the bartender handed you a cold beer for you to hand to the gentleman. "Looks like you did" he chuckled, "I'm Noah" he added as he reached his hand out, you took it gently, "I'm Y/n". 
----
Natasha watched from the bar as you finally allowed yourself to have some fun. You danced with Noah, he brought you both some drinks and hadn't failed to make you laugh as the night went on. It wasn't until just before midnight when Noah became rather handsy and tried to coach you to the back seat of his car. You gently pushed him away and shook your head, "No, I'm just here for some fun" you reminded the man. 
"It'll be fun baby, come on. I've done the dancing and pulling jokes, let's just get out of here" he replied as he pulled you closer to him. The strong smell of alcohol sent your mind right back to that night, the cries you let out that were ignored only made matters worse. You tried to break free from Noah's hold, but his strength was too much. "Let me go! please, I said no!" You begged. Natasha saw your struggle and slammed her drink on the bar before storming over to the two of you. 
"Let her go, she said no!" Natasha's voice came to your rescue. Noah looked at Natasha and released his hold of you, "Nothing but a couple of cheap whores!" He spat before walking away. You quickly turned to Natasha in a panic, your breathing quickened, your hands trembled and sweat began to form on your forehead. 
"Y/n, it's okay, he's gone" Natasha spoke softly as she pulled you gently into her arms for a tight hug, "I promised you, nothing was going to happen" she reminded you as she rubbed your back which helped bring your panic attack to a close. She held you until you felt safe enough to pull away. 
"Can we please go?" you asked softly in hopes not to disappoint your friend, she nodded, "I'll walk you to the car then I'll come back and pay the bill" She led you out of the bar following behind you for protection. Once in the car, Natasha reminded you she was just going back to pay the bill she racked up while you were busy and that she'd be back in just a moment. Of course, she told her driver to lock the doors which helped keep you grounded. 
"A couple of cheap whores huh?" Natasha walked confidently up to Noah, "that's what I said, didn't I?" Noah looked the red head up and down before taking a mouthful of his beer. Natasha took this moment to punch the male in the face, the glass in his hand shattering, leaving pieces in his hand and face. 
"You crazy son of a bitch!" he yelled. 
"If I ever see you in here again treating women like meat, I'm going to feed you to a meat grinder then to pigs. I'm not joking, when a woman says no, she means no!" Natasha spoke sternly before kicking Noah in his gentles, "does this cheap whore make herself clear?" she asked as Noah fell to the floor. 
"You're fucking crazy!" he groaned as he covered his manhood. 
"I'll take that as a yes" Natasha replied before walking back to the car.
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Taglist: @marvelogic | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @blackwidow-3 | @lilsmeaux | @mmmmokdok | @wandanats-goodgirl | @toouncreativeforausername | @agent99galanzo | @marvelwomen-simp | @its-just-geek | @fxckmiup | @loneliestafterparty | @pikachooo3 | @monaekelis | 
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caramelmochacrow · 5 months
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happy birthday yuka! (hope she and esora enjoy the view!)
(rambling under the cut because the tags cannot contain my love for them--)
the flowers are there for a reason not just bc roses mean romance and yuka is compared to a sunflower. those roses are rosebuds and they mean pure and lovely (w red ones) while the sunflowers are dwarf sunflowers and they mean adoration and love. i chose those because the roses are like how their love is pure and lovely yk? how pure this moment is of esora just. looking at yuka. the sunflowers are bc of esora comparing yuka to them and how esora is looking at yuka w so much love and adoration it's cute ok?
the outfits are from the esora birthday drawing and this is a follow up to it! i was supposed to make a comic but i dont have time so i'll tell u how it was supposed to go: they finished the ferris wheel ride and esora wanted to show yuka something on top of the rooftop of a nice tall building. when they arrived it coincidentally (esora asked the staff) fired off fireworks at the exact moment yuka went close to the railing to see the view. yuka was surprised and turned to look at esora to ask her abt the display only to see her abt to take a picture of her.
also yeah esora hasnt taken the photo in the drawing, this is at the moment she is about to do it but still looking at yuka, taking in the beautiful she had so perfectly set up. the firework behind yuka is supposed to make her look like the sun is right behind her or she is the sun herself, it makes it look like she is the center of attention and that she deserves all of the adoration and love esora is giving her. (also because the sunflowers are looking right at her)
something about how yuka always captures the greatest moments around her of landscapes and the things around her but not herself, so esora choosing and trying to capture hers is like she's saying "you deserve your best moments to be seen as well". or something.... i DONT KNOW!!!
the flowers being around and the whole composition is inspired by yuhki kamatani's work on shounen note and our dreams at dusk! i recommended checking our their work! it's so good especially if you love visuals! (their work is so beautiful...)
another thing that inspired this drawing was the last scene of my summer with you (a manga by nagisa furuya!) where one of the main characters takes a picture of the other without him or with him knowing (idk it's been a while) behind this pretty view. the manga actually inspired me a lot when i read it to draw yukaeso related stuff (mostly because of the summer focus nothing else) so i felt it was right to put a reference to it in this drawing!
the flowers were taken from pictures and ripped out to be used for the drawing yes. was it worth it? yes. would i do it again? yes very much.
i chose fireworks NOT because of the fact esora has this weird thing of being gay when there are fireworks but it just makes sense to watch a firework display after a ferris wheel ride, you know? (i wanted this to originally be the trope where one of them will say "look at the beautiful view!" and the other, looking at them, will say "yeah it is" but EUGHGHGHHHG I GOT EMBARRASSED AND I DIDNT WANT TO DRAW A COMIC WHERE EVERYTHING IS HIGH QUALITY--)
also another reason is because in ao to natsu (original not yuka's cover) there's a firework sound effect in one part of the song and since yuka covered it it made sense to make a reference to it as well!
i learned a lot on how to choose colors and stuff with this drawing, im proud of it! (i have yet again evolved my drawing abilities w yukaeso lol--)
if i wasnt so busy with school, i couldve made the comic but this drawing says everything and what i wanted to capture, you know?
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bad268 · 2 years
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plspls can i have a finn shelby x reader where they run away to america for a few years and have a whole family bc the shelby's dont approve of their relationship? and they only come back after their kids ( 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls ) kept pestering them about meeting their relatives. cue a big sappy emotional reunion with a dash of some relationship reveal in it.
We've Got Work to Do (Finn Shelby X Reader)
Fandom: Peaky Blinders
Requested: Clearly (I loved this and kinda ran with it. I hope you like it! Also shout out to Anon who wanted Finn content.)
Warnings: Fem-Reader, language, reader is called a whore, runaways
Summary: Finn and the reader run away from Small Heath, but some family business brings them back. What will the family think?
W.C. 1341
As always, my requests and ships are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Google/Wales Online)
It was the eve of my eighteenth birthday. My boyfriend of four years took me out to meet his brothers at the Garrison which did not go well. I heard Finn’s brothers call me unspeakable names, and they told him that I was just another whore who used him for his money. I know this is untrue, and he knows it’s untrue, but it still hurt that this was their first impression of me. I left the Garrison without hearing from any of them because if they did not approve of our relationship, there was no way we would be able to continue. 
I was laying in my room, crying and thinking that my relationship was over. That is until a knock from my window caught my attention. It was difficult to see through the uncleaned window and heavy rainfall, but I could still make out the figure of Finn. “What the hell are you doing? You’re going to get sick!” I lectured, pulling him into my room. “You are freezing, Finn!”
“I had to see you. You need to know that they hate everyone’s girls,” he explained, walking more into the room. “They say every one of ‘em is a traitor. But I don’t care what they think!”
“Finn, I do. They’re your family,” I said as I moved to take his soaking clothes off and replace them with spares he left at my house. “Their opinion matters to me.”
“Well, it doesn’t to me,” he stated, leaving no room for debate, as he changed his clothes. “I’ve got a wicked idea.”
“I’m listening,” I laughed as I helped him button his shirt. 
“What if we left?”
“I'm sorry?”
“We are eighteen. We can do whatever we want,” He explained. “I’ll quit the business, and we’ll go away. We don’t have to stay here.”
“Where would we go?”
“Wherever you want. Anywhere in the world.”
“I like the sound of America.”
That was the night we left Small Heath without a trace. We were on the first boat out of Birmingham and made it to America the next morning. 
We started in New York. We started for a week or so, but it was too flashy. Then we decided to move West. We stayed in all types of places until we reached Santa Fe. It was a place I had heard nothing of, and it was secluded. No gangs, no illegal business, and no judgment.
We decided to build our own life here. We were free. Free to be us without having to worry anymore.
~~
“John, Ava, Maya, Seb, come inside to wash up for supper,” I shouted from the kitchen window. The rest of the family, consisting of Finn, our five-year-old John, four-year-old Ava, two-year-old Maya, and one-year-old Sebastian, had been down by the creek since lunch while I had been writing for the newspaper I worked for. “Finn, help me set the table?”
“On it,” Finn responded as he lifted up Seb and Maya, the two youngest. “Come on. We gotta listen to your mum.” They all ran up the hill 
  “We were having fun, momma,” John said, running through the doors first. He pulled one of the dining chairs over to the sink, so he could wash his hands with some help from Finn. “Can we play more after we eat?”
“Sorry, baby, we can’t,” I replied, moving over to help Ava and Maya as Finn helped John and Seb wash their hands. “Got a call and we gotta leave early in the morning. That means bedtime right after dinner.”
Complaints rose from all four children, but they immediately became quiet once the food was served. I moved to serve Finn, but he stopped me, telling me to sit. Then, he places food onto both of our plates.
“Who called?” Finn started as we began to eat.
“Ada. She saw my article in the paper in Boston and reached out. I made her promise not to tell the family. But now, they’re in trouble, Finn.”
“When were you going to tell me?” Finn cut my explanation short.
“When it involved you,” I replied just as quickly. I leaned in to whisper, “Finn, everyone in the family got sent a black hand. Including us. We will discuss this more once the children are in bed.”
“Momma,” Seb cried.
“Are you all finished?” Finn asked as he started collecting all of the empty plates while I handled the crying child. He put all of the plates and utensils in the sink before leading the two older children toward the restroom. I took the two youngest to our room to clean them up before putting them into their separate cribs in the next room over.
Finn came into our room about an hour later and changed from his dirty clothes. He walked over to where I was sitting at my vanity, brushing my hair, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He leaned in to kiss my cheek before hiding his face in my neck and attacking me with small kisses. “Can we talk about it now?”
“I’ll tell you everything I know.”
“Who is it from?”
“Changrettas. The Italian mafia from New York.” I answered. “Ada said that Tommy is calling a family meeting on boxing day. Said we need to be there. Everyone from the family got the same card.” I stopped to stand and face Finn. I lifted my arms to circle his shoulders, one hand moving to cup his cheek. He moved his hands down to rest against my hips. “It’s not just us running from them anymore, Finn. This involves our children. John, Ava, Maya, Seb. They don’t deserve to be in this business. We have to go.”
“As much as I hate my brothers for calling you a whore, I know we need to go back,” he replied, leaning into my hand as we swayed back and forth. “I’ll drive us to New York and we’ll catch a boat out to Birmingham.” We stopped for a second as he pulled me into a kiss. When we pulled apart, he rested his forehead on mine before whispering, “You’re not telling me something. You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know I can,” I whispered back. “I just wanted to make sure before getting your hopes up.”
“Make sure of what?”
“Make sure it wasn’t a one-off thing, but I’m confident to say that I am with child. Again.”
“How long have you known?”
“Been thinking ‘bout it for three months when I missed. Then, I got sick this morning.”
“Now we’re really going,” he laughed, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist. “I’m not risking my family.”
~~
“Momma, was I named after Uncle John?”
“Yes, you were John Boy.”
“Momma, was I named after Auntie Ada?”
“No, but her name made me think of yours.”
“Momma, what is Uncle Arthur like?”
“That’s a question for your dad.”
“This is going to be a long drive.”
~~
“Has anyone seen Finn? Someone had to’ve known where he went,” Tommy asked the group in front of him. 
“They’ll be here. Just give them enough time to get here,” Ada responded with a snap. “Takes time to cross the ocean, ‘specially when you’ve got so much baggage.”
“They? Who’s they?” Arthur snapped right back at her. “What do you mean? Did he move to America?”
“Yeah, when you lot pushed him away when you called his girl a whore who was only there for the money,” Ada laughed. “Surely, you were smart enough to know he left the day after you met her.”
“Sorry we’re late,” I stated as we walked into the room. Finn holding the sleeping girls, John walking between us, and me carrying Seb. “Did we miss a lot?”
“What’s she doing here?” Artur seethed. “She is not part of this family.”
“She happens to be my wife and mother of my children, Arthur. So watch yourself.”
“Well then,” Thomas said, amused, “Let’s focus on Finn and his wife later. We’ve got work to do.”
~~~
Read Part 2 Here!!
~~~~~
© BAD268 2022. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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autistic! theo nott hcs because i want to
in first year he claimed a table at the library and sat at it so many times he couldnt sit anywhere else. one day he comes in to see some random sitting in 'his' seat and accidentally pops the poor lads inkpot out of rage. there was a hasty reparo from theo and a very quick exit after that
has broken so many quills from bending them between his fingers its unreal. he buys them in batches of ten or twenty and has broken all of them by terms end
hates getting his hair cut but also hates feeling his hair on the back of his neck. every month or so its a constant internal turmoil
really likes potions but hates touching the slimy ingredients so often ends up compromising with his partner with him doing the "boring stuff" like precise weighing or stirring to get out of touching the awful textures.
hates divination bcs there are no solid rules. the phrase "its up to interpretation" puts him into fight-or-flight mode
once stupefied someone as a reflex when they grabbed his shoulder. he was very deep into a good book and it scared the shit out of him. do not grab him ever
has learned how to use silencing charms that follow him so he doesnt have to hear the loud noises in the corridoors. this also makes it very hard to get his attention
uses sarcasm often but half of it is by accident. he just doesn't tell them its accidental
"hey, wanna go to x?"
"well. doesnt that sound exciting?"
"no need to get snarky, theo. i'm just saying it could be fun"
*was being completely serious* "fine, then. i suppose there's no harm in trying it"
brilliant poker face purely because he forgets to show emotion half the time in any way thats noticeable if you arent either used to it or looking for it
very twitchy. like, he cannot sit still. he can try. but it wont last long.
'quiet kid' until you ask him about time travel or something he's interested in. then you can't get him to shut up. i am a firm believer in theo nott who wanted to be an unspeakable but was put off by the confines of the ministry so decided to research mad shit by himself
loves the dungeons' low light level. no light means less headaches.
has the exact same breakfast every day: two toasts and a tea. except on holidays and his birthday, in which he has fruit pastries, or on sundays, where he has jam and toast
only found out he was autistic bcs a random kid he was working with asked him if he was 'on the spectrum' and he was so confused on what 'the spectrum' was that he fell down a research rabbithole and realised, oh, i am the spectrum
"sorry if this is overstepping, but are you on the spectrum?"
"the what"
"yknow, the autism spectrum"
"pardon my english, but what the fuck is an autism"
*two weeks of looking into it later*
*staring into a mirror* "ah"
hated the yule ball.absolutely despised it. went anyway because it was a once in a lifetime thing, but mainly hated it apart from the bit at the end where everyone left.
does that thing where if one side of him taps something, he. has to tap the other side to feel balanced again. if you do it you'll get what i mean, if you dont doit im sorry i cant explain it
loves pressure. sleeps with two blankets so he can feel properly buried
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natsmagi · 3 months
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same anon here . lmfao // omg ... yuri is my job is honestly rlly funny!!! my friend got me 3 vols for my birthday and its like. I WISH I COULD SAY MORE BUT I DONT WANNA SPOIL IT but hime also has a best friend thats obsessed with her and theres also this girl whos a gal but dresses up smart for the roleplay cafe and im just trying to fit who from enstars ... my brain is using up all of its gears i love yuri is my job
AND YOURE SO REAL FOR THAT!!!!!!!!! honestly from what uve told me it sounds amazing so id love to check it out someday!! o7 i mainly play games as i gotta force myself to pay attention when im reading/watching something BUT HOPEFULLY ONE DAY BC I REALLY WANNA.........
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9800sblog · 11 months
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i just found your acct and just read your readings! i would like to ask a reading if it’s possible! could you do a reading on san’s future marriage/spouse? will it be a love marriage or logic marriage? san said for him it’s romance bc he was raised in a family full of love. it seems like he doesnt care abt ethnic or culture. amongst the members, he seems like more open to date/marry a foreigner. in your 2026 reading, he seems like taking a break. i wonder if he’ll date a foreigner celebrity?-mel
Choi San tarot reading - who is his future spouse?
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-> part of music group ATEEZ, Choi San answered some of my questions about his future marriage through tarot, this is how I interpreted the messages shown in the cards.
-> do I have his energy permission to read and post? 6 of cups!
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right from the beginning of the reading, I got this song:
-> to whom?
he gave me 17 cards to read!!!! and I had to make it stop cause they just kept coming... so much to say... 😮‍💨
oh this person is a lot! this relationship may cause havoc in his reputation/public perception, it's somebody that likes to stir up the pot, you know? not socially conventional at all. i get a sense that they talk without really thinking deeply, they act fishy but they don't hide it, in a very light-hearted way, like a prankster. i think this person is a celebrity because they have SO MUCH money and they always want more. a lot about this person feels very new, I think they have a childlike personality, but very very deep and intuitive, not childish. it's giving gemini, I actually got the king of swords, a gemini card, after I asked about zodiac sign, but overall the reading is giving water and air elements, specifically aquarius and gemini! number 7 is also really important here, reinforcing that this is someone really intuitive and knowledgeable, possibly born in july (San's birthday). this person is really beautiful to look at, I'm seeing many people like to admire them and san would see them like a beautiful prize, so they might be a model, for example. I'm thinking they don't come from a traditional type of family, their parents might be divorced, or this person had to grow up really fast so they don't have good childhood memories, but they have a found family, this relationship and/or their friendships with other people will make this person feel brand new. this person has gone through a lot and they struggle to rely on others, they look like the type to hide in public but secretly love to receive attention and wish for more >< they're learning to trust people and communicate well, they are just now realizing they dont need to lie for people to like them, they don't need to hide or pretend that everything is ok when it's not. they're still holding on to their old ways but slowly some of them have been left behind already. this person seems a little insecure like they don't realize how good they actually are, like someone who is so naturally gifted and talented, they don't see that what they're doing is extraordinary, they might be looking at what's lacking all the time. this person seems scared of their sexuality, like someone who rejects every single person without even looking and I'm again getting the message they do things without really thinking. somebody who is constantly defensive, they might struggle with mental issues, specifically anxiety. I think this person likes to plan and travel, they like to go to the middle of nowhere and listen to the silence. they'd like to travel the world, visit all beautiful natural places, I'm getting specifically deserted places, abandoned, isolated, they might like creepy things. they're full of beauty inside, but they're afraid so they hide, they're like an iceberg, you look at the outside and it's beautiful, enchanting and you have no idea that they hide a glorious inside.
the cards suggest this is a man or just someone who looks more masculine, like really muscly and/or straight body type. I still get a sense of femininity in their look, might be the way they dress or their face. I think they're tall and have low body fat, like their body is heavy but not from fat? they might be super muscly or super thin, they might carry something heavy and tall too. this is someone probably with tanned skin, I saw yellow so they might be literally anemic or fake tan or just have a gold undertone, which I think it's more likely. they might be obsessed with shoes and pay extra money to get good ones, I'm thinking rhythmic gymnastics now. almond shaped eyes, possibly colorful, but I'm thinking colored eye lenses because the colors look super unnatural, small lips in comparison to the eyes that are really really big, very small and delicate nose and V shaped face. they might have an unusual face, looking like a bug or an alien or a skull, theyre definitely not ugly, this is just a face that you don't see everyday, reinforcing that message that other people really like to admire them like they're something out of this world. they have really strong arms like they could walk upside down, if they're an afab, they have insanely huge boobs. they might like to dress up more than others around them, with fancy clothes and wear lots of necklaces, rings, just lots of gold jewelry.
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-> is it love or practicality?
definitely love, there is a very delicate energy in this part of the reading, very very sweet and relaxing, there is that warmth characteristic of pure love and i saw the name of Whitney Houston's song 'greatest love of all', I know the song is about self love but the intensity described there is the same. this person is/will be his world, everything to him and I do think san plans to work non-stop even after ATEEZ ends because he wants to be a good provider for this person, there is this message here. like the time that he would decide to get married to this person would be very a practical decision indeed, when to propose and stuff but he does have immense love for this person and he would do anything for them. ugh so cute!!!
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-> foreigner?
I'm seeing someone with double citizenship because they do seem like a foreigner but I think they are of Korean ethnicity and heritage. it kind of seems like this person was born during a trip of their parents to a different country because I see 2 people far away from home giving love to each other; might also be that their parents are from 2 different countries, because I see that they are very different from each other, appearances and customs are very different, like they're from different cultures.
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-> are they a celebrity?
yes, they are exposed for the whole entire world to see, very likely since childhood. I see someone having to fight for their privacy and also making great connections. that might be how them and san bond, from those shared, similar life experiences :)
this is one of the cutest readings I have ever done, I was expecting him to be more closed off because of last reading I did on him, but he had SO much to say about this person, he is like so in loooooove. I think he already knows who this person is, they have already picked each other, i don't think they're quite in a relationship yet so they might have like promised to wait for each other, planted the seeds. and they're like the cutest little item in the entire planet, I don't wanna leave this energy, they're seem very emotionally and mentally satisfied into each other, they really match, he picked so well.
this is all alleged information, I do not claim that any of this is true or that I'm absolutely right in any way shape or form
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meowzfordayz · 2 years
Text
bff
Author’s Note: 10/10 would be 11/10 happy w/ these bffs. 😭💞
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bff
Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tokito Muichiro x Reader
Word Count: ~1,500
CW: explicit language, platonic
Emergency Request Fulfilled: can i request platonic fluffy hcs for muichiro and/or genya— separate ofc, with a fem/gn (thats really up to you) childhood friend!hashira reader whos very loving? (not a hashira if genya!)
for example always holding on in someway, giving hugs, cuddles, kisses (on the hair/scalp or hands only), giving alot of attention, and friendly overall.
how they interact, feel, maybe even defend them if someone makes a comment abt them for ‘leading him on’ bcs they dont love him romantically *totally didnt happen to me once* i mean.. its like 1920 its bound to happen, react to dating assumptions, ect.
~faqs, image~
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Bff!Kyojuro who, to be quite frank, doesn’t exactly make you laugh directly, but constantly makes you laugh indirectly, because how could you not laugh at how hard he makes himself laugh ??
Bff!Kyojuro who’s only slightly embarrassing to go out for meals with (his moaning exclamations of delight and contentment as he eats are, uhh, fairly loud), but you’re never truly embarrassed — really, you just wish you had his level of obliviousness confidence
Bff!Kyojuro who grins brightly whenever the server assumes you’re on a date “Which date do you think we’re on?”; who grins even brighter when the server’s eyes widen as he promptly announces “Beyond five hundred!” (of course, the server doesn’t have any way of knowing that those ~dates were entirely platonic and span a decade+); who tips the server generously if they mention proposing or marriage
Bff!Kyojuro who takes your scolding Stop fooling everyone into believing we’re a couple! with a grain of salt, because you do the exact same thing (it’s a miracle that your friends continue to fall for your We’re finally, actually, literally official! prank)
Bff!Kyojuro who raids your pantry with zero shame; cooks a second portion—for you—of whatever he’s craving; randomly stocks your fridge from time to time (he has a key to your apartment — it’s a regular occurrence for you to return home to new groceries and a sticky note “Reimbursement for our recent movie night!”)
Bff!Kyojuro who comes over with his old clothes because you get first priority/pickings before they’re donated
Bff!Kyojuro who pouts when you refuse to cuddle with him You’re too fricking sweaty
Bff!Kyojuro who retaliates by sitting on you
Bff!Kyojuro who writes you the sweetest birthday letters; you have a box with 10+ letters for all the years you’ve known him; it’s your tradition to read them in order (oldest to newest) every night after the celebration dies down and everyone (besides Kyojuro) heads home; he starts cleaning while you sit and read; it’s also tradition that by the final (newest) letter, you’re sobbing (happily) into his chest
Cleaning can wait
Bff!Kyojuro who believes in you, supports you, would move to another country for you — he has his own ambitions and dreams, sure, and they’re as adaptable and flexible as his adoration for you
Bff!Kyojuro who knows he can show up at your apartment at ass o’ clock, cheeks tear stained, heart ruptured, because you’re there for him too
You told him once that You’re my non romantic soulmate, and feeling your palms cup his face—your gaze tired, concerned, angry for him—he knows, “You’re my non romantic soulmate too.”
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Bff!Sanemi who’s kinda your frenemy ?? except more friend than enemy (albeit, it took years to achieve that ratio)
Bff!Sanemi who excels at the little things
Bff!Sanemi who picks you up from the airport, the bar, really anywhere if you give him enough time to get there
Bff!Sanemi who knows your allergies, health conditions, fears — double checks whenever you dine out, carries extras of generic medication on him, keeps an eye on you ~just in case
Bff!Sanemi who remembers the things you want but I don’t need it though; has a literal list of items to buy/make for special occasions (i.e. birthdays, holidays) as well as ~just because (i.e. he misses you, you’re annoying him); ensures the list never runs out, “But you deserve it.”
Bff!Sanemi who’s very competitive and very mean about it — Monopoly, Go Fish, War, Scrabble, and puzzles are in the DO NOT PLAY WITH SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI category
Bff!Sanemi who has almost destroyed your friendship over Monopoly’s houses and hotels rules, cheating when shuffling cards, bullshit words in Scrabble, and overall raging (puzzles in particular)
Bff!Sanemi who doodles Sharpie tattoos on your forearms whenever you fall asleep before him, bUT TO BE FAIR — they’re always lowkey beautiful
Bff!Sanemi who’d be honored to draw the art for your first tattoo (if you so desired a tattoo), and would be just as honored if you drew the art for his first tattoo
Bff!Sanemi who’s adamantly against matching tattoos, but he’s got nothing to worry about considering your styles differ… significantly… (aka, for the sake of these hcs, his doodles of eyes actually look like eyes, whereas yours look like… scary)
Bff!Sanemi who kisses your bruises and scrapes (acquired from careless tripping, stubbing, falling) first “Are you okay?!”, and then laughs and points at you second “You’re a fucking idiot.”
Bff!Sanemi who: if you’re good at cooking — buys you ingredients and ~forces you to cook; if you’re bad at cooking — delegates setting the table, choosing the playlist, washing the dishes to you (while he cooks instead)
Bff!Sanemi who dances with you in the kitchen, which could be cute except that he takes it very seriously
Bff!Sanemi who grumbles when you accidentally step on his foot, insults your skill, “You’d be knocked out first round from any dance competition.”, rolls his eyes when you mutter It’s not that deep, and inevitably turns stepping on feet into a merciless battle that he unfortunately and usually wins
Bff!Sanemi who reluctantly massages your feet afterwards (winner’s remorse)
You told him once that You’re a menace. My menace, and as he stares at your playful fierce glare, he’s inclined to agree
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Bff!Muichiro who cuts the tops off your strawberries; unshells your sunflower seeds (a true act of selflessness); shares his fries I’m fine! “I insist.” But Mui- “Less staring, more eating.”; lets you sip his frappes before he does
Bff!Muichiro who grabs your hand as you cross the street together, squeezing protectively, eyebrows furrowed with endearing focus considering, well, yanno We’re just crossing the street!
Bff!Muichiro who holds open doors for you; jams his foot in closing elevators for you; waits in lines for you
Bff!Muichiro who listens to you ramble for hours—tucked into your favorite corner of his couch—while playing mindlessly with your hair, David Attenborough narrating about whales or something in the background
Bff!Muichiro who kisses the top of your head after playing with your hair; hands migrating to your shoulders; searching for and gently kneading at any knots
Bff!Muichiro who learns your favorite braids, and either creates masterpieces with your hair and/or allows you to “Go wild.” with his (depending on who has better/ideal hair for braiding)
Bff!Muichiro who keeps extra hair ties on his wrist; for himself in case you spontaneously decide he needs a make over; for yourself (when applicable) in case you break/forget/lose yours
Bff!Muichiro who surprises you with picnics in meadows of wildflowers (the long drives are 100% worth it) because wildflowers = flower crowns = the best accessories
Bff!Muichiro whose entire Instagram is basically photos of you, himself, and you with him, featuring your plethora of creations
Bff!Muichiro who tags you as Hair Stylist: @--- or Model: @--- because, “Credit where credit is due.”
Bff!Muichiro who replies with vague 😁 and ☺️ and random heart emojis to You guys are too cute! and Dayum you really outdid yourselves and Where is this? It’s sooo prettyyy comments on aforementioned posts
Bff!Muichiro who never discloses locations because he cherishes the privacy and intimacy of his time spent with you
Bff!Muichiro who rarely allows you to move (when you’re cozied up on his couch), tugging sternly at your earlobe, “Hungry?” as you inch toward the kitchen, “You’re my guest. Stay put! I’ll go.”
Bff!Muichiro who has your coffee/tea/preferred beverage order memorized, and if you don’t have a usual, then he still knows your moods and somehow always picks the perfect drink to satisfy you
Bff!Muichiro who can’t promise to not watch the next episode(s) of your favorite show(s) without you, but is happy to rewatch them to your heart’s content
Bff!Muichiro who scoffs when mutual acquaintances—sometimes even mutual friends—poke and pry at his friendship with you, because he knows where he stands with you, and that’s what matters most
Bff!Muichiro whose tone turns icy, impatient, rude when pushed too far, “Leading me on? I choose to be their friend, and they choose to be mine. We know how we feel, and that’s enough.”
Bff!Muichiro who could write entire essays in your defense, but finds that cutting to the chase is generally more effective
Bff!Muichiro who refuses to stop nudging you with his elbows, tickling you to get his way, offering you piggybacks when you’re lazy/sleepy, because, “I don’t care about rumors. I care about you. If you’re happy with our friendship as it is, and I’m certainly happy with it, then what’s there to change?”
Bff!Muichiro who hugs you for as long as you want—for as long as you need—regardless of whose around
You told him once that Your hugs could cure practically anything, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t live up to your standards
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oathofkaslana · 24 days
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gay hi3 moments from the top of my head (some details inaccurate) also some of these are awful and i hate them ok i need it to be known i dont like all of these.
kiana counting down how long it’s been since she’s seen mei to the minute.
the “i gain the power of 100 men when mei’s around!”
bronya seele kiss in azure waters where seele goes "i gave you my first kiss sm sm" and im pretty sure makes her promise to give one to her when they reunite
FUCK. COOKING W VALKS MANHUA WHERE SEELE GOES "the sea is so beautiful i feel like i could stare at it forever" AND BRONYA GOES "duh because the water is azure blue. just like your eyes" AND GOES LIKE AN INCH IN HER FACE.
i feel like i have to put everything in azure waters oh my god i feel sick i miss them so much.
kiana licking mei’s wound in escape from nagazora
kiana and mei in a hot spring and kiana touching mei’s boobs saying she’s been wanting to. i think also in escape from nagazora.
kiana getting unnecessarily jealous over bronya whenever mei shows her any attention
bronseele ad where bronya complains about having her license revoked and seele going “good! now i know you’re not picking up other girls”
lament of the fallen. (COME ON. COMPARED TO EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD, YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT????)
kiana and mei being compared to a canonical m/f couple, owl and ana.
shakespeare mentions how it’s interesting to see real couples play a part and one of the couples being bianka and rita in durandal’s visual novel.
speaking of that play. biankas cgaracter makes a line about having sex w his wife (played by rita) and rita teases bianka about wanting it afterwards and bianka blushes
biankas one birthday cutscene where the narrator was talking abt how there’s this feeling she can’t put into words and how captivated she is by rita’s radiant smile ← GET A ROOM!!!!!
elysia calling her fight w mei a first date
eden saying that forever being apart of elysia makes her happy because its the most romantic ending
mei saying her favorite colors are orange and red (kiana and her's key colors)
mei coming back to the elysian realm after briefly talking to kiana and eden and elysia both notice how much happier she is and elysia goes "tell me about her" (HER.)
elysia voice. i like pretty girls.
every single elysia and kiana interaction in ch 34 idc if its mei's dream ("im so weak for pretty girls like kiana" "unless kiana prefers something more bold like purring in my arms" <- WHAT IS WRONG W HER!!!!!!!!!!!!)
natasha intenbtionally taking her hood off after mei told her that elysia says she doesnt meet natasha bc of her hood
elymei horn scene.
mei dreaming about having a japanese wedding with kiana.
kiamei matching rings named after chinese numbers symbolic of love that were given out for white day.
kiamei stigmata showing them getting married that was given out for valentines day.
reburn kiss where kiana kisses mei's battered mech while crying after i love you in german flashes on screen.
kiana going "this treasure called love" and immediately getting a text from mei.
"this is a story about love it will end with love" as kiana and mei walk with each other past durandal and rita to meet with bronya whos with seele AS CANON IN D STARTS PLAYING. YK THE FUCKING MARRIAGE CEREMONY SONG.
SAKUKALLEN KISS IN COOKING WITH VALKYRIES
theresa thinking sakura (a woman) kissed her and going "wait! im not like kiana and mei!"
kallen voice "the herrscher girl is innocent and i am in love with her"
^upon learning that kiana blushing and going "theres onthing wrong with falling in love with a herrscher!" while thinking of mei
moon shadow where kiana's heart starts racing bc she thinks fu hua's fallen in love with her and the wlw symbol is drawn behind her as she blushes and says "ive given my body and soul to mei but--"
fu hua later being teased by a coworker who suggested that hua likes kiana
sakukallen "love at first sight" line in sakura samsara
HELP THAT ONE EVENT WHERE VELIONA SLAMS BRONYA ONTO A WALL TO INTIMIDATE HER AND BRONYAS BLUSHING AND AS VELI'S YELLING AT HER, EINSTEIN WALKS OUT, SEES THEM, AND GOES, "sorry for interrupting, have fun"
also in that same event, bronya blushing and avoiding seele the next day and going "sorry bronya cant forget because thats a precious memory for bronya"
susannah fawning over durandal, rita, and sushang
susannah talking about how pretty sushang is and how she likes her voice i hate them oh my god susannah get up
tesla being jealous of welt joyce when ein teasingly gives him special attention in the visual novel
tesla getting jealous when planck (i think) hugs ein tightly and kisses ein on the head
tesla edison fingering joke after edison sniffs her neck.
bronya's bridge interactions w seele. my god i love them so mcuh.
sakura and kallen having heart reactions when you put them in bed next to each other
sakukallen "yae sakura shall fade, beloved, your kin shall live. in the far east 500 years ago where sakura blossoms bloom, yae sakura waits for her one true love"
gratitude arc where kallen loves sakura so much that protecting sakura becomes a part of the oath she genetically passes on to theresa
the 4koma on the sight where kiana and mei are told to get a room, apply for a marriage certificate(? i think), and have heart eyes towards each other while the wlw signs are behind them
kiana voice "this has nothing to do with me going lesbo!!!"
4koma kiana voice "im a lesbian everyone knows that"
elysia and aponia's "girl games"??????????? <- on thin ice but cmon no way that wasnt an innuendo
elysia's interaction w HoO mei where she talks about wanting to touch a particular thing but gets cut off by mei telling her she cant touch her horns again (SHE DOES NOT HAVE HORNS IN HER HoO SUIT)
kiana smiling when she sees mei's boobs in the anniversary vlog short thing.
the shenzhou island event where kiana points a camera at mei's boobs and goes "hehe mei is so pretty"
durarita matching earrings in their matching battlesuits
and ok im blanking now yay this is definitely not all when i say off the top of my head i really mean off the top of my head.
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hanarchy · 8 months
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ok im done with work but apparently not done talking abt this: bang chan will 100% go live again. he will post on ig and have birthday lives and very likely other lives too. he will participate in promotions and be on bubble and have fancalls and fansigns.
if people could have relaxed a little more in this situation he might even have come back to chans room eventually. what he said at the fansign is just that the company wont let him react to sth, whatever that means. not that it’s forever or even specifically that he cant go live.
this strategy from jyp looks like a very normal PR strategy which is to let something quiet down until eventually going back to normal, avoiding controversies in the meantime.
tbh i dont think its a particularly bad strategy. it’s to protect him as well. if it had worked it would have involved a simple apology (that yes, he didnt owe, but also like. sometimes you gotta apologize bc you caused sth you didn’t mean to. that just happens sometimes when you have a platform.) and him taking a few months off of one of the many things he does. no harm done to him at all.
like i’m sorry but for any media trained or just famous person that’s the most normal course of affairs. it’s as undamaging as it gets.
instead what happened is this: stays forced a reaction and apology bc they were sending hate to a group he specifically didnt mention by name. then they put so much pressure on him/put him on the spot IN PERSON so that he needed to say sth even though he clearly was not going to talk about it (whether thats the companys doing or his is really not important. like see my previous post abt this) and now are further putting pressure on both him and the company.
and the stupid thing abt this is that the company cant react in the way you want them to. they literally cannot bc otherwise they are setting a precedent and encouraging this kind of behavior from fans even further.
every step of the way here stays’ behavior is either giving the company excuses to go against what chan says he wants or forcing his hand directly.
someone mentioned the other day on twitter that fans would be the worst scabs if idols ever unionised and this is why.
companies have something to gain from you seeing them as the villain.
they gain your loyalty and support for the idol. they gain the weight of fans ‘demanding’ the idol do something which is a bargeining tool AGAINST idols. they gain your attention being preoccupied and not causing a stir about other worse violations (overworking, diets, direct attacks… all of which we’ve seen recently).
how hard is it to just. chill.
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