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atxxzist · 1 year

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broken | c.s (10)

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pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 6.5k

warning: u r gonna have 2 read to find out (nothing traumatizing tho i promise!)

"so, you were playing tags with the kids and fell?"

"yes."

you vividly recall the lies you told your friends--how you got the cut on your knees being one of them amongst others--but they were just happy you made it back safely and didn't get any more hurt than that.

after returning to seoul, your days are back to being nothing short of mundane tasks, hanging with your friends and enduring yunho's constant whines because minji had to go back, and then the mostly lazing around in your room and doing anything to pass time.

but with your eyes stuck to the ceiling and your head hitting the back of your pillow for the majority, your mind can't help but to wander.

wander back to the trip and how sweet and caring san was. his lips that spoke genuine words toward you, and his eyes that showed something much deeper in them. something much more than just physical touches and empty sex; something that could've fooled anyone into thinking he's in love with you.

but by now, you've learned to not keep your head too high because choi san will only give you false hopes, never failing to remind you of what exactly the relationship between you and him really is--if his silence ever since the trip speaks of anything.

no texts, no calls; no renditions of such thing that will give away you were just in his arms a week ago. but you've come to terms with it that it is fine; unsure if the small ache is disappointment (if that's even possible anymore) or just being sad overall.

but again, you've accepted the situation to some degree.

you focus on integrating yourself back into the school mindset where academic achievements were the center of your universe (for the most part), since the semester is around the corner again.

and because the semester is around the corner, mingi and yunho wanted to check out a place; a noodle restaurant recommended by a friend of mingi, eager to go because of all the positive reviews.

"so how do we do this? paper rock scissors and whoever loses have to pay?" mingi quirks, one eyebrows raised and flipping through the menu.

"nah. y/n makes the most money, this is her treat to us," yunho says, to which you react with a scowl.

"says who? i don't even have work during summer."

"what happened to that program you were talking about?" mingi throws in your face, and it's only until then that you remember the 'summer program' you supposedly came back from.

"that was less than a week and we don't get paid much compared to the regular hours," you save yourself, somewhat even proud for having thought of a lie so fast on the spot.

mingi rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"greedy. you are so fucking greedy."

you shrug, unable to help it all.

"well, i'm sorry. i've never had this much money before."

"don't make this dark now."

it's your turn to roll your eyes.

"fine, i'll pay. but nothing over ten dollars."

"stingy too, how unfortunate," mingi mutters, provoking a kick to his ankle from you under the table, lasering a glare in return.

in spite of all the teasing and snarky remarks, because you have a soft spot for him and is silently thankful for all mr. song had done for you, you give in and let him order three bowls of naengmyeon, two of which he's probably not even going to finish.

yunho on the other hand is nice enough to spare your wallet a little, settling on only one that's enough for the evening.

summer feels like it's passing by in a blink of an eye. like it was just yesterday that you, mingi, and yunho were fighting over what to do and where to go. now all of a sudden, you're going to be back on campus soon enough, wallowing in the pit of assignments and exams that will eat away your mental health.

it's an awful vision, because you don't want to let go of this summer.

mingi and yunho are chatting about their library assistant jobs, and you're listening with attentive ears, chopsticks poking at your noodles when a buzz goes off in your bag.

your body reacts first, eyes shooting to your friends who's still lost in the conversation, knowing it can't be them who texted you. and unless yuna is coming home early, there's only one other person who has your number.

🟣: hey 🙂 are you free to call tonight? i want to talk to you abt something. lmk.

y/n: i'm out right now but should be back soon. i'll let you know

🟣: sounds good! talk to you then 💕

it's relieving until it's not. the highs and lows alternating like getting a hit of your favorite drug before the effect wears off and you just feel nothing. numb. all too used to it, aware it's not good for you but unable to stop.

how long will it go on before declaring that something so temporary and unsecured is unfulfilling, no matter how good the high is.

not anytime soon, unfortunately.

you text him with excitement upon the return, the dinner over a lot earlier than you had expected; yunho having talked about some paperworks he still has to finish, and mingi for finishing all three bowls and groaning about the food coma he's going through.

y/n: just got back. call me whenever

you sit with a fluttering kind of excitement, thinking about what could possibly be this important to prompt a call from san this late, but also honestly just ecstatic to hear from him again.

it takes a few minutes before the ring of your phone starts, having answered so fast, there's no way he doesn't know you were sitting in nothingness just waiting for his call.

"hey," he greets from the other side.

"hey," you respond just short of a shy whisper.

"i hope i'm not prolonging sleep for you."

"no, you're good. i'm not even that tired."

you wonder if san really cares whether you're getting sleep or not or if it's just proper courtesy to act like he does when he took a girl out on a week-long trip, only to disregard her completely after like the moments and hours spent with each other means nothing.

"no worries, i'll make this fast," he says, clearing his throat. "wooyoung's throwing another party before school starts, and i called to ask if you want to come with? it's going to be a couple days from now, so you'll have plenty of time to be prepared."

it's quiet as you take the time to think, knowingly aware of the fact that taking up the offer to be seen publicly with san at wooyoung's party has a lot of things at stake.

"no pressure, just thought i'd ask," he adds when the silence only stretches on.

"i'll be there," you say so suddenly, like all the thoughts and logics from before flying out your head just for the one chance to see the boy who made you question so many things within the past few days.

"okay, cool. i'll text you the detail when the time comes."

you don't get anything from san until the day before the actual party.

a simple text from him about picking you up and when it's going to start so you will have the time to compose yourself for the loud and obnoxious setting of what one usually consists of.

you have made sure to double check when you were exiting the dorm building that nobody you know happened to coincidentally see you get into his car--a fight with your friends with only a few weeks left of summer not on your wishlist.

you guys arrive a little past 8 p.m., san proceeding to drag you through the house almost the same way mingi did; brushing past the hoard of drunk people, whatever they're smoking, and the flashy lights that comes in all colors.

you catch a sighting of that old couch that was the best company at both the event you attended prior, pushed against the wall and a lot discolored this time around.

with the amount of parties wooyoung probably throws, you're honestly impressed it's still even intact.

but you're quick to pry away, moving back around only to hit right into san's back at the sudden stop. he turns to you and giggles at the wide look on your face, having noticed your curious eyes that would roam each passing scene.

"we can stay in here, it's a lot less crowded," he says, and you nod in return, doing a once-over of the room and recognizing the kitchen where you first talked to him. a place so bittersweet.

"i'm gonna go get us drinks first. punch or beer?"

"i'll take some punch."

"alright. i'll be back."

you watch him disappear behind the crowd of people and begin looking for a spot to settle in.

there's two guys over at the corner with red solo cups, chatting away and seemingly paying no attention to anyone else. then another pair of girls by the counters also engaged in a conversation.

while it's not your definition of peace and quiet, you'll take it over the rave going on just a couple feet outside.

you prop against the counter closest to the sink and wait until you can see san's figure making its way back in, one cup in each hand and walking to where you are.

"thank you," you utter as he hands you yours, placing his on the empty space and settling in front of you, observing as you take a slight sip.

"they changed the flavor," you comment, licking some remains off your lips.

"yeah, every once in a while," he replies, taking a swig of his cup before putting it down again.

you nod, biting down your bottom lip and thinking of what to say next; another question at the tip of your tongue again.

"do you uh... come to these parties often?"

he was here all of the two times you came and talked about them on more than one occasion. you suppose, it's only a given someone like him would come to a place full of entertainment; each passing person walking with confidence and unfazed by anything.

after all, he is the life of the party.

"once or twice a week. sometimes three."

the numbers leaving him like they're small quantities. but two or three definitely sounds like a lot, especially if you're talking about a party of this size. you wonder just how much resources wooyoung is wasting.

"i see..." you simply mumble, quiet under your breath.

"how's your knee?" he asks, prompting you to take a quick glance at it, the once before red color turning into a lighter pink, and the pain feeling like a much dull one.

"it's healing."

he nods, attention moving to down another sip.

"did your friends ask?"

"they did, but they bought the story i told them."

he chuckles and shakes his head, a smirk creeping up.

"you know, you're a lot more cunning than you let on."

"i must be around you too much," you tease with the subtle jab, cranking the volume of his laughter as he stares at you so charmingly. and charming he is indeed, you have officially lost count of the amount of partygoers that would flock to the kitchen to greet him; talk to him, like he's the brightest flame in the room. a complete people magnet.

you can only deliver small, awkward head exchanges with them while san oozes all the confidence and charisma in the world. you will always be amazed at how someone like san and mingi can just talk to anyone.

the small smile on your face can't be helped, watching him in his natural element, making something inside of you churn with admiration but a painful realization all at once.

his eyes peers across the room, bidding goodbyes to the ones leaving and then hello's to the next person to come in, all while your gaze only hold his as if he has all the answers to your problems--like he's the embodiment of hope.

you're also drawn to him; his brightly lit flame, no different to any others in the room.

"this is y/n." san's voice snaps you out, blinking your lashes to a boy whose hair is bleached in blonde and staring at you with equally amusing eyes, a smirk curled at the corner of his lips.

"she's cute," he comments courtly, parting with a smile and going off to join the two from before at the corner, their introductions audibly out of your range.

"that's chris," san starts again, your attention moving back to him. "he's studying abroad, but just thought i'd let you know of his existence because you're going to see him quite a bit if you're going to start attending more of these."

you only hum in acknowledgement and nod, not stressing too much about having to remember chris or anything, unsure how many more of these parties you'll be showing up to.

little do you know, this party will be the start of all rendezvous between you and san, all of them similar in a way but each with their own variations.

yuna returns two days before classes officially starts.

attempting to roll in her pink suitcase, sunhat, and jumpsuit, she announces her arrival to your figure still stuck on your bed with feet kicking into the air as you randomly jot down your new schedule onto your notebook.

"hey, you're back," you cry out, jumping right out of bed to help her squeeze through the doorway.

"yes i am."

"how was the trip?"

she sighs, throwing her hat off to the end of her bed where it lands perfectly.

"good for the most part. i would've gotten back earlier but the flight from japan to korea got delayed due to some weather issues. then my father lost his ticket and had to repurchase. but overall decent."

you laugh, reaching behind to shut the door.

"good to hear."

yuna almost forgot what she was going to do until she catches the notebook sitting openly on your sheet.

"oh, right!" you watch with an intrigued gaze as she digs through the bag on her shoulder.

"i got you something."

you can't even be surprised by the act. it's just so yuna of her for you to joke about something and her to actually do it.

"you didn't have to. i was just kidding around."

she shakes her head and pulls the item out: a new and shiny notebook covered in yellow with cartoon characters on the front, a lot thicker in appearance and holding much more pages.

"no worries. i wanted to. saw it while in japan and automatically thought of you."

the way your heart pulls together at the act of kindness brings about the biggest smile on your face, you could almost leap in and give her a hug.

"thank you," you say, so soft and tender, the idiot smile still haven't left.

"of course! i wanted to get you something computer-related but i don't know much about those, so i apologize. i saw you writing in your notebook a lot so i figured maybe you like writing."

you chuckle in response, thinking to yourself that for someone who's rarely ever around, she's awfully observant, even picking it out in your favorite color.

"well, i'm glad you didn't because i am traumatized by it. i changed my major a while ago."

"oh?" she perks with some form of fascination. "to writing?"

"yes. creative writing."

"you know, i have an uncle who runs a firm and he's always looking for technical writers for their products, as well as for their website and whatnot. i mean, i don't know if that's exactly creative writing, but if that's something that piques your interest, let me know."

"isn't that like... nepotism?" you're joking for the most part but also with a genuine curioisity about being able to secure a job because of your rich friend. but then again, your current job was only because of san as well.

"i have no idea, but if you're decent, my uncle has no reason to not hire you. food for thought. if you want to wait until graduation, that's fine too. just let me know."

the one day left of summer is spent fulfilling a promise you made to mingi and yunho about catching a movie at the theater. a new, better, theater with adjustable seatings and the outside not littered with graffitis.

it's a little bit more costly, but you all agreed it was worth it.

the walk back to the dorms is pure torture for you, both of the boys unable to stop the teasing about your sudden passion for writing.

for as long as they've known you, that's definitely one they've never heard before, bringing up all the times you'd stick to reading picture books (because to be a good writer is to read a lot according to them) and struggled writing a 500 words essay.

"you guys literally can't expect me to be the same person a year or so ago. my interests can change, and my brain is still developing. mingi, you're a psychology major, you should know that!" you shriek in defense.

"well, yes, but, there's just some changes about you lately. tell us, when did this interest start?"

you roll your eyes, a deep groan leaving.

"do you guys have to know every detail?"

"obviously yes, so we can talk you out of it, miss wannabe nobel prize winner in literature."

"mingi, literally shut the fuck up. you gave one advice and suddenly you're a psycologist."

"hey, it's all working out so far, isn't it?"

yunho laughs at the banter, waiting until he's in the clear to say something.

"we're kidding. well, i'm kidding. anything you write, i'll be happy to read. even if it's just prince charming coming on a horse to save you."

mingi snickers.

"don't give her ideas now."

"i literally hate the both of you."

intro to creative writing. whether it's to prove both of your friends wrong, or to console yourself that you're worthy of yuna's offer, you want to take it seriously; dive into it that's more than just the short entries in your notebook or the vivid imagination in your head.

thankfully, within just an hour into the class, you can say the environment is a lot more friendly and welcoming. a good divide of both males and females and everyone definitely looks a lot more approachable.

the first week of classes is nothing special. instructors usually just taking the time to go over the course schedule and what's to be expected.

the second week is when you start kind of getting into the gist of it. the class tasked with a short literary piece and dissecting the meaning behind it.

it's not anything exciting, but is an overall improvement to your experience so far.

the third week is when you get another text from san. when you're mostly busy and occupied, it's easy to not think of him. but when he reminds you of his existence again, it's hard to think of anything but him--which is the problem.

he tells you of the party that usually happens at the beginning of the semester, and you're starting to think they have one for just any occasion. or maybe wooyoung just needs a reason to keep throwing these parties.

you're hesitant at first, unsure about spending your night at a place full of alcohol, weed, and people who probably doesn't remember their name since that's the last thing that should be on your mind if you want to take your courses more seriously.

but all it takes is another plead from san for you to fold pathetically, arriving at the party with him hand in hand.

it plays out all the same, with him pulling you through the open spaces and greeting the few he knows along the way, big dimples and a handsome smile before excusing himself to go off with you to the kitchen.

it is all the same as well, just a little more crowded this time perhaps, but that doesn't stop him from backing you into a counter as you gawk at him wide-eyed.

he's not shy to deliver a kiss to your jawline, his hands finding way around your hips and resting on them with ease.

only until you whisper something does he pull away, watching how you move your eyes to the strangers also in the room, a rosy pink shade decorating your flustered cheeks.

"t-there's people here."

he has to giggle it off, your adorable nature truly the saving grace because if you already think a kiss is going to faze these people, he thinks you might go into cardiac arrest knowing the shit they actually do at events like this.

"they don't mind, trust me," he assures, his grip tightening around your hips before lounging forward for a deep kiss.

then every party after that is similar in that it starts all the same, with san eventually leading the way to the kitchen and if you guys are lucky and there's no one, he does more than just a kiss.

if not the kitchen, you guys will hang in the hallway or bathroom upstairs, make out and lose a sense of time, and maybe have sex the couple instances you guys were lucky to have found an empty bedroom.

chris is there every time, always in a corner or lurking somewhere in the background, sometimes even watching the door for you and san.

“that’s chris,” san starts again, your attention moving back to him.

“he’s studying abroad, but just thought i’d let you know of his existence because you’re going to see him quite a bit if you’re going to start attending more of these.”

you've come to develop some sort of attachment to chris at these parties, that if san was nowhere in sight, you would turn him--the only other person you knew.

and an almost perfect attendance one after another, you realize mingi just might be right.

“well, yes, but, there’s just some changes about you lately."

perhaps there is something different about you these days; the boy you've been hanging with opening your eyes to the fun you've been missing out on, and maybe you do want to come out of your shell a little bit.

but it doesn't hit you how much of these parties you've been attending until exam week creeps in and the only way to study for them is to go cold turkey for one, maybe even two weeks until you pass all of them.

what really sets reality for you though, is when yuna throws a passing comment about how much later you've been coming home. how she even sometimes make it back before you. that's when you start to think it might be just a bit bad, needing to tone it down before your friends catches on.

still, the most impressive fact is that you haven't run into wooyoung at his own parties, yet. not that you want to test your luck.

"i won't be able to make it," you tell san on the phone, a low wail that leaves him shortly.

"aww, why not?"

"exams are coming up and i uh... i want to stay inside and study."

the stark contrast of your words even amuses you. that no matter what fun and entertainment you've been exposed to, you will always crawl back into the girl that priotizes getting good grades and is rather nerdy, even if you despise the workload with such strong hatred.

"oh, alright." he giggles quietly. "you're still coming to the school carnival, though, right?"

"yes. i'll be there."

"okay. i'll see you then, and have fun studying."

"pfft. have fun at the party, and tell chris i said hi."

the carnival is a fundraising campaign so nothing fancy or anything like that, obviously. it's a much watered down event, but you figure since your friends won't be available due to their jobs, it doesn't hurt to go with san.

it takes place in the quad of your university, string lightings everywhere; on the trees, around the booths and food stalls, and smaller ones on the cement walkway.

the smells of cotton candy, popcorns, and corndogs greet you upon arrival, turning to san for him to suggest the first thing to do.

his voice is quiet under the loud music and laughters of those around, you have to lean in just to hear him.

"want to play a game?"

"sure." you nod.

a balloon dart game in the back intrigues him--three dollars per person, the sign says. the student running the booth motioning with enthusiam as you two inch closer.

san drops the payment for both you and him into the fundraising box, handing you a set of darts consisting of three.

"you go first or i go?" he quirks an eyebrow in amusement.

"you go."

you stand by the side, watching with the utmost alerted eyes when he misses the first throw, grunting out only shortly and containing it for the next missed one, then also the final where he scores absolutely nothing.

"christ," he curses with a whisper, switching with you who can only chuckle in response.

you also miss the first one, then the second, but surprisingly managing to hit one close to the center for the last turn as it pops; the student ringing a bell and telling you to choose from the prizes.

"you know," san brings up on the walk to the lemonade stand after agreeing on it. "you're pretty good."

you smile a little at the compliment from him.

"yeah? mingi and yunho would always say my aim isn't too bad."

"i can see that."

you both come to a stop at the stand, san rummaging his pocket and speaking at once, "two lemonades, please."

you dig through yours at the same time, pulling out the changes just in time.

"let me pay this time."

san shakes his head.

"what kind of gentleman would i be if i let the lady pay on a date?"

you scoff at that.

"and what kind of lady would i be if i let you pay every single time?"

"the perfect one," he says, putting on that handsome smile that's enough to distract you momentarily while he hands over the payment.

"your drink, my lady." he offers with the same smile that you just can't resist.

you huff and puff, pouting as he lets out a giggle and put back your changes.

"let's go find somewhere to sit."

"what kind of gentleman would i be if i let the lady pay on a date?"

the word replays in your head. date. is this a date? it could be you're thinking too much into it, but you suppose you've never been on a proper date with san.

it is certainly very different; from the activities to the setting, to even the interactions. everything is much more mellow; soft. and you think you prefer it this way. so maybe it is a date. yeah.

even if it's not, it does make you feel so happy your heart could almost jump out of your chest just because san said it is.

"cute." the voice rings in your ear, knocking all the creative thoughts out of your head.

"huh?"

"the plushie. it's cute."

"oh... yeah." you almost stutter, swallowing the knot in your throat and attempting to straighten your posture just to make it clear you definitely weren't thinking of anything else.

he laughs, able to spot the light pink slowly making its appearance again.

"it kind of looks like you."

you retract at the sudden comparison and have to hold the plushie up just to get another good glance at it.

"i absolutely do not look like a white bunny with big flappy ears."

he laughs again at the denial.

"well, you are cute like one."

you only clear your throat and try to fight off a smile that threatens to blossom at the remark that makes something inside your stomach flutter with butterflies.

"do you want to keep it?" you finally derive the subject after enough blushing.

"oh, i couldn't do that. you earned it yourself."

you curl your lips together for a moment of silence before speaking again in such a hushed volume, the commotion could've drowned it out if san wasn't sitting just a bit too close.

"well... your birthday was a while ago, right?"

the question catches him in a daze, more taken aback than anything that you would even remember it.

"yeah."

"i'm sorry i didn't get you anything or even wished you a happy birthday, i was just..." conflicted; thinking too much if it would be appropriate. you have thought of it; remembered it, of course you did.

"--no, you're fine. it's really not a big deal," he brushes it off along with a short laughter but it just sounds indifferent.

"did you celebrate it?"

he shakes his head slowly. was he supposed to? birthdays are just... birthdays. the day has passed so long ago that you came into the world, he will never understand the excitement and joy people have for the day they grow closer to death each year.

"not really? just kind of stayed home and watched a movie. i did get a text from wooyoung at least."

"oh..."

“just something my family never did much, i guess,” you simplify, and jongho nods along with an understanding hum.

“they’re really not all that,” san chips in, both yours and jongho’s heads snapping his direction. “waste of money and time.”

"then, consider it my gift to you." you strech an arm out, hanging the plushie in the air. "it's not anything... extravagant, but it's from the heart."

you break out into a tight-lipped smile because you're aware it's a bit silly, but when he accepts it with open hands, returning a genuine one of his own, you think it might not be.

"i'll take it."

an hour flying by, small talks after another and walks around the area to check out everything, san wants to play one last game before closing off the night.

a ring toss. you don't know how good you're going to be at this one, but either way, san offers to play for you. unsure of what he means by that, you stay back and watch, not really bothered that you're not playing since san is a sight two times more enjoyable.

before he finally manages to land on a bottle, he must've went through at least twenty rings. but he's so proud when he did, fist in the air and all, it's contagious enough for you to clap.

given the game is much harder than the last one you guys played, the prizes are much bulky; in size and value.

"for you," he says, all of a sudden shoving the giant teddy bear in your face, whose head is probably bigger than yours.

"me?" you repeat.

"yes. i said i'll play for you didn't i?"

he's quick to snatch the bunny that you were holding for him, practically rubbing the nose of the bear into your cheek, you have no other choice but to hug the stuffed animal like a baby.

"san, when you give someone something for their birthday, you don't get something back."

he chuckles.

"i know, but i want to. a gift from the heart."

and despite rolling your eyes at the mimicked phrase, sighing under your breath and bringing up again and again that he can keep the bear, you go to bed so happy.

laying on it awake, the event that took place earlier today playing repeatedly in your head and it makes you feel like a giddy schoolgirl all over again.

thinking about the words he used, the display of affections; all the parties he invited you to, and just how often he's been reaching out.

you know that you shouldn't. shouldn't fill your fragile heart up with hope and get optimistic about a boy who ignored you a month ago, but you can't help it.

can't help but fall for the bare minimums on a handsome smile and coy look; the sudden act of kindness that convinces you maybe love isn't dead, yet.

that something has changed in san and something has changed between you and him.

"will you be able to make it?"

every time your phone rings, your stomach sinks itself in, sometimes lounging across the room or tripping yourself on the way just to pick up his call and tell him yes, you can see him tonight.

sadly, just not this night.

neglecting school works has really caught up and now you're left with a stack of assignments that's due tomorrow or the day after that. it doesn't get any better that your writing class has now really transitioned into the 'creative' aspect and you're to come up with a draft of your own work before the end of the week.

"can't. i have too many assignments, sorry."

"ah... okay."

"but uhm, if i finish early i'll let you know?"

"yeah, sure. text me or something. good luck!"

it's still hard to shake off the disappointment, almost like a fear of missing out since you've went to so many of them, you know you could be enjoying yourself with a pretty boy instead of wallowing in misery.

but one, two, probably close to three hours goes by and you've somehow managed to tackle most of them. the ones due tomorrow at least.

you realize you're most likely not dumb, just lazy. and lazy you are, mind jumping straight into already rewarding yourself, what better way than to go to a party and let loose? you'll worry about your next set of assignments tomorrrow.

you text san like you said you would, waiting five minutes, then ten, then fifteen and there's still no reply.

maybe the music's too loud, maybe he ran into a drunk as hell wooyoung and is helping him, or maybe he's busy chatting with chris or whatever other ten plus people he knows there.

you figure you'll just show up. that's not too desperate, right? he's the one who's been inviting you after all, so why would he not want you there?

you make your way through the crowd willingly, this time with no one to guide you. all alone and pushing past the sweats and awful smell because he might be in the kitchen. he has to be.

maneuvering until you arrive at the entrance of the kitchen, always having been the brightest flame in the room, he's hard to miss because your eyes are drawn to him immediately.

as soon as you recognize that familiar head of black hair, time must've stopped and it must've taken your breath with it.

you've experienced a lot of pain in your life if that isn't evident by now. from your parents abandoning you to your mom telling you straight in the face that she never wanted you. then your aunt and uncle who isn't of much difference, to your first boyfriend who cheated.

your life is a mess.

and you understand in actuality, some of it could be considered much worse, but right now--in this moment, it feels like the pain in front of you is the worst one ever, it dulls everything else in comparison.

this pain knocks your breath away and you could almost faint from how sharp the hit is to your fragile heart.

to see san's hands resting on hips that isn't yours, face snuggled and flushed against another skin the same he would do to you. and if you think it can't get any worse, the short couple of seconds that you actually look away, you catch chris in that same old corner with a drink in his hand.

you briefly lock eye contact with him and he could only pretend to sip his cup while looking away to join the other boys again in a conversation.

that's when you realize; when it all sinks on you, that chris isn't a friend. he's the guy that sticks by san's side when he pulls shit like this, making sure no one walks into the room he's fucking a girl in, and informs him of any relevant information because why would you ever think choi san could have a change of heart just because he spewed a few sweet words and made you feel like the most special girl for two hours.

“this is y/n.” san’s voice snaps you out, blinking your lashes to a boy whose hair is bleached in blonde and staring at you with equally amusing eyes, a smirk curled at the corner of his lips.

“she’s cute,” he comments courtly, parting with a smile and going off to join the two from before at the corner, their introductions audibly out of your range.

to have thought it was a genuine compliment when he probably only looked at you as one of them. and thinking of all the times you couldn't make it and all the parties san attended without you.

the more you connect the dots, the more depressing it gets, and wow... stupid, you are so fucking stupid.

you knew, of course you did; had a feeling and all, not completely oblivious that you weren't the only one. you just didn't think it would hurt so much to actually see it for yourself; really see how easily replaceable you are.

still, you can't stop staring, and you must've stared for too long because she finally notices, eyes fleeting to you and pushing san off slightly before tilting her head and looking at you like she's bored.

as if waiting for you to find something else to entertain yourself with, because who the fuck are you to be an audience to her and the boy before her.

and san must've noticed; confused about the lack of body response and where her gaze is, that he turns his head back to see for himself. but you can't even properly digest the horror in his facial, the only thing you see is that deep, dark, and ugly mark on his neck along with a few lipstick stains in the shade of red close to his jawline and to his lips.

you can't stay here any longer and embarrass yourself like this, feeling a lone tear well at one of your eyes before moving back to the crowd.

"excuse me," you mutter, trying to push your way out of there, the last thing you hear from the kitchen is the marching of heavy footsteps and san's voice as he tries to catch up.

"wait, y/n!"

next // series m.list

taglist: @sorryimananti-romantic @revehosh @cookiechristie @avantalem @atiny68 @sannwa @shibera @mochibabycakes @justineasian @eastleighsblog @baguette-atiny @crimson-mia @yeosxxx @sleepychimm @atz-diary @diorwoo @naiify @becauseiloveyunho @damagelove @softie00 @s-nsanshine @atinytinaa @moonseonghwa @lemontreefantasy @wooyoung4eva @yeosangsbiceps @likexaxdaydream @knucklesdeepmingi @barbielibra @tmtxtf @brown88 @harusoraa @frankenstein852 @yujispinkhair @mermaid17venus @nolxverlikeme @writersun @kkayfan @wooyoungjpg @galaxypox @byunniebaekhyunnie

#i did it somehow #now off to cry bc of finals #ateez angst #ateez x reader #san x reader #choi san x reader #san angst #ateez series #fic: broken

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stursweet · 7 months

Text

hi friends :) i’ve been putting this off HARD due to obvious circumstances in the fandom recently and strong opinions that have been circulating.

unfortunately it’s not possible for me to do so anymore that my inbox is filled with 160+ requests with sexual content. from my standpoint; this situation is incredibly bizarre and concerning. the infantilization of three 20 year old men is weird as fuck standing by itself, let alone coming from 14, 15, 16 year old girls. i myself as an adult can promise you that they are more disturbed by adolescents feeling the need to mother them rather than any content that could be written about them. i promise! with my most gentle and sincere intentions, i’d like those reading this to please stop and think.. and think deep. these are not minors. these are not people that are actively speaking out against “being sexualized”, - in fact, they made multiple videos of them reading content of themselves willingly and matt even made multiple joking requests to ‘make them weirder’.. if they had a genuine grievance i promise you that they would not willingly, and multiple times at that, read these types of things and record it and put it out. obviously in the fan fiction videos they are uncomfortable- and it would be bizarre if they weren’t! considering their fanbase is primarily minors! it would be concerning if they were eating it up! obviously they’re not going to be swaying their feet and giggling? please, let’s get a grip. the violent defense against writing for them (which by the way, may i add, if you do not want to read it / are made uncomfortable by the content, you can SCROLL! just swipe your finger up across the screen! hope that helps!) is beyond disturbing. and, they find it comical as well; nick just commented on a tiktok yesterday regarding sexual audios saying “they’re gonna quit” laughing his ass off at how insane some of u are.. they do not care. i’m sorry! they don’t. if they knew that peoples addresses were being leaked and people were being threatened with death over the head of FANFICTION about them they would be absolutely appalled: leaps and bounds more appalled than they would be if they were to read any pieces (which they aren’t, might i add: if you think chris and matt sturniolo have tumblr / google ao3 please get on meds). these are adults. GROWN ADULTS. i promise you that they do not need the defense of 11-16 year old girls. if they were bothered by this they would have explicitly spoken out at this point. the fanfiction video was not the cry for help that you all think it was. AND. they are so fucking busy; fan fictions written about them are at the bottom of their give a fuck list. infantilization of men older than you is WEIRD. every single male that has ever been on the internet has had fan fiction written about them and world war three did NOT start! your behavior is insane and embarrassing. nick matt and chris think you’re bizarre. they can defend themselves.

please losen the fuck up. please.

and : i’ve been lurking for a LONG long time. and i can very much confirm that some of these freaks making these posts and coming out against this were liking, requesting and even posting shit even worse than what they’re coming out against before it was a trend to be a weirdo infantilizating freak!! you know who you are!!!

as far as my account goes; i am unfortunately scared for my safety to post that content as people have literally had their personal information leaked.. and if you do not see an issue with that i am begging you to delete tumblr, unfollow the triplets and put the phone down. they would hate u and so do i. 💕

note: incest fics and nick fics with a female are absolutely fucking repulsive and are not okay!! that is a completely different story. i’m not okay with that i just want to make that clear .

if you have a different view that’s okay. block me or scroll! or read in secret and accidentally like one of my posts again! that’s okay too! love you i’ll write soon

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headsincloud9 · 9 months

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HI JAZZYYYY!!! Congrats on 130 followers u deserve it!

Can u write a Young jake sully x reader and reader is a marine and best friends with jake. He just talks to her about how it is being in an avatar and about all the people he met,all the things he's able to do

Just some best friend fluff with jake sully🫶🏼

Nad!!! Naddy on ice Naddy the baddie this request was so cute and funny I actually got side tracked writing blurbs to piggy back off of this request my moots and friends keeping my imagination on overdrive. I hope you enjoy my lovelie

Take Me With You

Paring: human Jake sully × fem human reader (platonic)

Warnings: non just fluffy cute Jake and his friend

Word count: 1k

Summary: you are the only marine besides Jake who has any care for pandora outside a meal ticket. And now you want to go with him.

You walk down the halls to the scientists wing one of the few Marines that ever ventured there or even was liked by the scientists. You didn't know why they liked having you around Maybe it was your interest, genuine interest in their work the forest of Pandora the plants the place as a whole. You couldn’t deny this place was amazing you came here with nothing else to lose back from Earth and felt a sense of longing to know what you had to gain out there but you weren’t here for that you were here as a hired gun. But also you could live vicariously through your best friend Jake Sully…. You both became fast friends over the fascination of Pandora alone also you were just as idiotic as him when it came to impulse over deep thought.

You walk into the labs getting greeted by many there "hey y/n you have to catch up on your Navi you missed yesterday" Norm said in passing making you nod "yeah I know there was a meeting with the Colonel I couldn't ditch I'll come back by later" you say walking backwards not paying attention.

Unaware you were being stalked like prey as you walked backwards you felt yourself get swept off your feet and falling back into Someone lap "damn y/n you weigh a ton" a familiar voice groans. You roll your eyes laughing dryly "oh very funny lieutenant Dan" she mocks calling him the legless soldier from Forrest Gump. He pushes your back laughing "says the one with 2 working legs yet still trips over nothing" you laugh and push his head to the side punching his arm "shut up that was like 2 or 3 times" they laugh as he wheels them over to their little corner to talk.

You listened to him with fascination as he recounted the things he did and saw as an omatikaya to be and his training. You would kill just to see it and would die to experience yourself. You could see the shine in his eyes as he spoke of his experiences and his time with the infamous Neytiri. "You like her Jake I can tell" you say still in his lap leaning against the wall as you look around him. You laugh seeing him blush but say nothing. "That's not the point here Y/N" he laughs.

You smile and laugh "I know but honestly Jake you should enjoy it more…. It's better than here" you says you had grown sick of the constant kill kill kill we are at war…. A war we fucking started. You look up seeing Jake take your hand "the colonel on your ass isn't he" you sigh and groan "take me with you Jake" you mutters more to yourself than to him. Jake pushes your head over to look at him and you both share nothing but a series of expressions, something learned i the military to learn and read body language but you both perfected it out here seeing body language was more than a subtle sub language, it was a secondary to the first. Your eyes said it all, you did not belong there but here. Sure you’d seen war done some unforgivable things but this was different this violated any type of Geneva convention if that even existed. But you had your own morals and you weren’t a monster and the things the colonel was asking you to prepare to do was…monstrous.

Jake smiles at you sadly as he could relate to your emotions. He looks over to Grace who is doing an audio log “ Hey Grace could you think we could convince the tribe to let a friend of mine visit the village”. He watches you snap your head to Grace you looked almost ready to beg for the opportunity. Grace looked back at him and then to you as she stopped mid sentence. “ i think she knows enough Na’vi to be able to go you’d have to speak to the clan about it” she says giving you a even smile.

You couldn’t contain your excitement at the possibility of being able to visit, your mentality had been shifting as things became tense at least in the military department. There were talks of shock and awe campaigns, blasting the home tree, even going for the tree of souls. You look down not wanting to dampen the mood or tell what was classified information know Grace would come at them with the wrath of a thousand suns. You quickly return to the subject. “ so I heard through th pandora grapevine that you are going to tame a banshee i say i want pictures but i want a detailed explanation of the event and don’t worry if I happen to make friends with Neytiri which I will, I will be getting her side of the story so i know the whole truth.” You laugh as you hear Jake groan, knowing that you’d never let him live it down just as you did with the Thanator incident. “I swear you are worse than tsu’tey when it comes to poking fun at me” he grumbles.

You look at him and smile “ what kind of friend and surrogate sister would i be if i didnt give you a hard time.” You tease as you stick your tongue out at him knowing soon you couldn’t disguise yourself you’d have to make a choice us or them. "Plus without me you'd be all brooding and boring" she pokes his his cheek as he wheels you both around the lab effectively brightening your continuously darkening days.

This drabble was really cute I may start writing more for human Jake he's a sweetheart little bean.

#avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2009 #avatar james cameron #avatar 2022 #avatar fanfiction #awow #avatar jake #human jake sully #jake x reader #jake sully x reader #avatar 2 #jake sully fanfiction

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yhwcomeback · 6 months

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Heyy i really like drawings 😭 its just too awesome i wanna just eat it >:), and i just wanted to show u that u have DRAMATICALLY improved in a short span of time like, this good?! For like 3 years?? I really admired and followed u for like a year (not on this acc tho cuz privacy stuff 👹) and you have literally a so goddamn unique artsyle im jealouss like the coloring??? The lines???

I hope you don't give up on art please 😔 ill be crying if u quit 😭😭 if theres some hater out there just remember that u still have all ur other fans around the world (im literally on the other side of the world from brazil) and i WILL AND STILL LOVE UR ART <3333, hope ya dont give up and achieve ur dreams like u wanted.

And i send this message just to let u know that YOU MATTER AND DONT SAY UR ART SUCKS IS FUCKING BEAUTIFULLL <333 i love it sm, even ur first post 😭😭😭. Just remember COMPARE URSELF FROM YESTERDAY NOT OTHER PPL(cuz artists sometimes hate their art n stuff) u will always be my fav artist on this platform and i hope u have such a good day <3

-secret admirer

THIS IS LITERALLY SO SWEET! THANK YOU RANDOM PERSON! It's funny because I was looking at my old art yesteday (I have this huge folder with all of them in it lol) And I'm so happy with where I am with my art. Before I made this account I was really struggling because I was trying SO hard to get my art seen and drawing things I didn't like for the sake of it and that made me lose all my motivation to draw, but then I made this account just to post about my interests, ended up meeting some really cool people, and I kept going, took a few breaks here and there but I'm happy to say I don't force myself to draw things I don't like anymore, that genuinely every single thing I post on this account is something I am passionate about. Thank you for the kind words it really made my day! I'm glad to know people enjoy my drawings just as much as I enjoy making them❤🤍❤

#not art #ask #KINDA SUPRISED I DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLE FOLLOWED ME FOR THAT LONG #I just assume half of you get random new fandoms I'm into in your dashboard and just go along with it HSDUAIDAIDJ

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cherry-flavoured-thot · 1 year

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Hello!! Congrats on 3k followers!! i don't know if the event is still open, but if it is, could I have riddle with f, t, and u? Thank you!!

f - feverish, what are they like to take care of when they are sick? what are they like when taking care of you?

Riddle doesn't get sick. At least not very often. He was very adamant about this piece of information when you commented how run down he seemed the other morning. Lo and behold the next day he didn't even have the energy to pull himself out of bed.

The last time you got sick, he had come to check on you. Bringing you soup and ensuring you were drinking plenty of water, as well as getting enough rest. Albeit he was wearing a mask the whole visit and sprayed down a disinfectant spray before touching any surface in your dorm.

So you've returned the favour by going to check up on him, soup between your hands in a random casserole dish you managed to find. And even though you've come to see how he is, he's immediately worrying about you. "If you don't at the very least disinfect the area you might get sick too." You'd only just closed the door behind you before he had started.

"I'm not really worried about that, if I'm going to get sick I probably already caught it from you yesterday."

"...I suppose you're right." As you're setting down the soup, Riddle sits up from bed attempting to get out from beneath the covers. "Let me make you-"

"No you stay in bed. If you want tea I'll make it." You have to remind him several times to actually stay in bed in rest, he doesn't argue once reminded, however, he does huff. You don't help. Almost getting kicked out after playfully offering to feed him his soup, his face quickly turning red.

"That's not necessary and you know it!"

t - tears, how often do they cry? what can cause it? what do they do when you cry? are they good at cheering you up?

Riddle prefers to cry alone. It's easier that way. If he's by himself he doesn't need to explain his life. Explain why even though there's nothing particularly wrong now, the frustrations from his past still weigh on him enormously. A pressure that he finds easy to relieve through tears and control.

He wonders if it's because he often cries alone that he's at a loss for words upon seeing you cry. He won't ask you to explain, he knows that can be the hardest part. He won't attempt a joke, fearing his humour may fall flat. The best that he has is a reassuring hand on your back, and a simple:

"It will be alright."

u - undo, how do they attempt to be forgiven for making you upset? what do you need to do after making them upset to get their forgiveness?

There's little hesitation on Riddle's part when he's upset you, especially if he understands what it is that he's done to make you angry. He'll apologise and hope that his genuine words will be enough to smooth things over. If not he'll give you space and try to apologise again another day.

It's trickier if you've upset him. If it's a minor issue an apology will suffice, but if your actions have really angered him, you'll get the silent treatment. After he's flown off the handle and lectured you for acting so ridiculously. Sometimes he'll be stubborn enough to even ignore several attempts of reconciliation on your end, leaving you to figure out ways on your own to get your apology across.

After one fight, where he'd been actively avoiding you afterwards. You'd left red roses and apology notes for him to find for a few days in hopes of forgiveness. It took about three days, but he came around and even offered you his own apology for ignoring you for so long.

#this was 135 for the number game #3k celebration #twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle #riddle x reader #twst riddle #riddle twst #x reader alphabet

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d-dalladalla · 2 years

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Hiiiiiii! :) I'm going through a Red Velvet phase at the moment and I'm seriously in love with all of them. Mostly Irene and Seulgi. There's just something about cold and distant women that does something to me 🥴💦. Especially when they're older.

Can I please request a gip!Irene x innocent!reader scenario? 🥺 Irene is cold, distant and mean towards the reader even though the reader just tries to get her attention. Eventually Irene says something hurtful and the reader tries to move on to gip!Seulgi. Irene eventually gets so possessive over the reader when she hears Seulgi talk about her (the reader) to her friends and its insinuated that they slept together. With jealous smut, pleaseeee? 🥺

Btw, I'm notified whenever you post something and I like your posts almost instantly, so I think if you looked hard enough you'd probably know who I am 🤣🙈. I hope you don't get burnout from all these requests though. It would be devastating if you stopped posting, you're literally one of the few blogs that does gip scenarios for female idols 😔.

Thank u so much bestie <3!!!! I'm not getting burnout, thank god the requests are so good that it's kinda impossible to get burnout lol. Also I legit smile whenever i see the anon asked thing it's like the best thing ever :)

And it's was kinda hard finding a lot of female reader fics and I've found more now but i wanted to add my own so others can enjoy !! Also, I can't remember the author (I'll post it if i can find it) but someone wrote a jennie / chaeyoung x fem reader fic where Chae kept rejecting the reader who eventually got with Jennie and it's genuinely the best thing I've ever read!

You had been infatuated with Irene the moment you saw her, being introduced through Seulgi and immediately trying to get on her good side. She was a sweetheart, she just wasn't very open about it you learned later, she was shy and introverted.

You hadn't felt this way about anyone ever, she was just so perfect that it hurt. But no matter what you did, you had tried everything. Genuine compliments constantly to her face, about how pretty she was, or how nice her laugh is, or how she always makes you laugh...nothing from her.

You opted to show your love with gifts, bringing her flowers, and chocolates, paying for her meals whenever the two of you were out...nothing.

You were sure that this gift would win her over, you had found out from Sooyoung that she was talking about how pretty the flowers were at this little cafe in a flower shop they had been to the previous day so you sped down there, and paid the very hefty price.

You let yourself into their dorm, Seungwan and Yeri giving you soft smiles as they knew what was coming, Sooyoung remaining quiet as she watched Seulgi watch you. Sooyoung always sensed Seulgi's feelings for you, her smile was different when you were around, she was more herself.

Seulgi leant against the kitchen island as she watched you approach Irene's room at the bottom of the corridor, you nervously shuffled as you knocked on her door. You really wanted this to be it, you liked her so so much and you really couldn't take another rejection.

Irene opened the door, she was in the sweatpants you bought her months ago, my god they left you broke for a month, so your smile got wider seeing she actually liked your gifts.

"Yes? what is it I'm busy right now," her tone was cold but you tried to convince yourself that that's just how she spoke, she didn't mean for her words to come out as cold.

"Hi! Jo-Joohyun! I got these for you!" you beamed, holding the bouquet out to her as she peered down at them, taking in the beautiful display and recognising them from yesterday.

"Right...thanks y/n," she took them hesitantly and set them down on the table just out of your sight beside her door. She looked back to you, her expression quizzical as you stood there.

"That it?" she shook her head as she spoke, you could feel that bubble in your throat start to rise and bite back a breath.

"Actually, I-I was wondering if you would maybe l-like to go out tonight? l-like a date?" you tried to sound confident but it came out like a plead.

"No, y/n," she hushed out, she looked so annoyed as she raised a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, "Just- just leave me alone okay? I really don't like you, you're fucking weird, okay?" she closed the door in your face and you, fortunately, didn't hear the gasps coming from her bandmates.

They tried to make themselves look busy, going on their phones, straight up leaving the room or staring at the wall as you walked back into the living room and out the door.

Seulgi didn't know what to do, she kept looking between Irene's door and the front door you just closed. She was so angry, she wanted to yell, scream, hit, anything. She wanted you to herself, but she hated the way Irene treated you. You were so much more than what Irene thought of you. You needed to be treated right and she was going to be the one to do it.

a month later

Irene tried her best to avoid you, she regretted what she said, she really did. But she would rather be caught dead than admit she was wrong. She was just stressed, she had so much going on and was overwhelmed you just unfortunately pushed her over the edge.

Her whole avoiding plan was going well, You hadn't been to the dorm since, the girls being especially quiet when Irene would join them to eat or watch a movie. They wanted to scream at her for breaking your heart but she was their leader.

What Irene didn't mean to do was eavesdrop on the girls' conversations, she wanted to know why they were so distant lately, so she left her bedroom, closing the door silently and sneaking to the end of the corridor and loitering there as she listened in on the girls.

She could sort of gather what they were talking about, you, they were talking about you. Well, more speciality Seulgi was and the girls were chiming in every now and again.

"When was this?!?" Yeri gasped, Irene could tell that something big had been dropped and from Yeri's surprised tone, she wanted to know if you were okay.

"two days ago, why?" Seulgi answered back, her voice was louder to Irene so she must have been just around the corner. She could hear the shuffling on the couch and now Yeri's voice was louder, she must've gotten closer to listen to Seulgi.

"Was it good?" Yeri teased and Irene's tried her best to not assume things, you surely didn't hook up with Seulgi. You were in love with her, for years and there was no way you would've moved on so quickly, right?

"I mean..." Seulgi's voice trailed off, the girls giggling and egging her on to continue the story, a roar of 'go on's.

"Okay! fine, yes she was very good." Seulgi laughed out, there was some shuffling and Irene took a step back in order to not be caught listening in.

"I'm gonna hit her up again, you have no idea how tight she was oh my godd," the girls erupted into giggles and begged for more details as Seulgi shushed them.

Irene could feel her entire body heat up, you just moved on? just like that, huh? she was going to show you that you don't just move on from Irene. She liked you but she knew how hard it was to date idols, you would just be heartbroken and so would she. She snuck back into her room, got her car keys and stormed out of her room and past the girls who immediately went silent, Irene slamming the front door behind her.

She doesn't know what she was thinking, she stood outside your front door and knocked, she didn't really think this through, you were probably going to slam the door in her face as soon as you saw her, she was about to walk away when you opened the door.

It was late, she forgot that so judging from your state, she probably just woke you up. You stood in a tiny tank top and as her eyes trailed down your body she saw you were wearing boxers and she knew from doing the group's laundry that they were Seulgi's.

"I-Irene? what are you-" she cut you off as she came forward and crashed her lips against yours, kicking the door closed behind her and pushing you down against your couch.

You didn't kiss back, you were so confused and this was just so overwhelming, but she didn't give you time to think it through, grabbing at your shirt and pulling it up to bunch up at the top of your chest. Groping your tit with her right hand as her left one started to peel off those fucking boxers.

You started to kiss back, this was everything you had dreamt of but why now? what happened to make her want you too? you really didn't care about what the reason was right now.

You groaned whenever she let her fingers glide through your folds, teasing your entrance with her fingertips, dipping in and pulling out over and over again until she plunged them in, mumbling into your neck about how tight you were.

You didn't have time to enjoy the feeling of her long fingers inside you before she pulled down her sweatpants along with her boxers and lined herself up.

Pushing her tip in and groaning, biting down on your neck as your brought your legs up to lock her in place, arms splayed on her back as you dug your nails in. It felt like she was never going to end, inch by inch and it just kept going. But when she did fully push in you had never felt so full. She began to thrust, using her hands to slam your hips to meet her own thrusts.

Mouthing at your neck, she saw the marks Seulgi had left and she was going to cover you in her own. She was going to show Seulgi you were hers. You belonged to her and only her.

The couch under you beginning to scratch the floorboards with each thrust, your downstairs neighbours were gonna be so mad. She pounded into you, her precum begging to spill into you and leak out onto the couch cushions. You could barely get a moan out, resulting in gasps and half moans as you felt your high coming.

She sensed it too and started to pick up her pace, groaning as you clenched down on her cock, releasing and leaking down your thighs. Her orgasm followed yours as she emptied into you, thank god for birth control.

She didn't pull out, letting herself relax on top of you and leaving one last bruising kiss on your lips as you both caught your breath.

"I'm sorry for being a dick," she mumbled against your neck, "I didn't mean it, I was- I was scared of losing you in the end." she hesitated. You let your hand meet her hair, stroking and playing her her hair as you thought of an answer.

"I want to go out, with you, tomorrow," she interrupted your thoughts, relaxing further into your touch.

"You better give me the best first date ever," you chuckled out but she sensed the seriousness in your tone and her mind was racing with all the ways she was going to spoil you

#this is long as hell oh god #also i realised i use american words instead of british #idk y #now i feel bad for Seulgi #I wrote it why did i make myself sad #also i'm so tired so thank god for Grammarly for fixing this for me

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cleostoohot · 2 years

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OOKAYYYY

im sure u get a lot of anons asking why they dont have results, blah blah blah. as someone who recently uncovered my root problems heres some advice. imma continue to to roex3dol even if the 3d doesnt show results (which it eventually will) imma continue affirming after 3 days.

HERE IS HOW TO COMBAT THE INSECURITY:

as im sure you have all heard before, dont stress the results will show up in the 3d if you keep affirming.

THE BIGGEST INSECURITY that will get in your way is "what if...." or imagining yourself after 3 days not having your desire or really seeing your future self not with ur desires. If you fall into any of these categories or something similar, catch yourself and start affirming that it has absolutely zero choice but to work. when you imagine yourself failing you are creating that room for failure, you cant believe two polar opposite concepts at once. IT IS POSSIBLE TO BELIEVE IN THE ONE YOU WANT!

ive known abt manifesting (attraction) since aug 2020, i found solar subs and law of assumption in jan 2021, in around aug 2021 i found neville and loa tumblr, in nov 2021 i started manifesting small things. now i still have manifested small things but not my dream life it hasnt appeared in the 3d. thats my experience. ive fumbled AAAAALLOOOTT. i was gonna write this on my blog but after almost two years of experience ill quickly list my largest cause of failure.

WAVERING/NOT PERSISTINGl

one day i would try affirming for the void and after that didnt work i would do a challenge, and after that didnt work i did bkanket affirmations and after that didnt work i did sats and after that didnt work i would do meditations. i didnt think i was doing anything wrong, looking back im so frustrated with myself for wasting so much time. and if lets say i did void affirmations, blanket affirmations, meditations all in one manifesting routine if i missed one i would start over because i believed it wouldnt work despite reading otherwise. this is a new realization, im not even sure i have a total grasp on my mistakes now, but imma keep persisting.

how im going to fix this: i have 1 thing i will do daily which is affirming. i have 2 affirmations i will always use "roe i have all my desires" "roe i manifest in 3dol" even after 3 days imma keep affirming. im working towards holding the assumption that it has no choice but to appear in the 3d. even just yesterday i was abt to quit "maybe i should just be okay with what i have now and revise___" NOPE. im working towards my dream life so i wont stop. just because im getting some material items in my 3d doesnt mean i should be good with what i have now. i will wake up in my dream house and blah blah blah other dream things. my tendency to do that is most likely bc im scared i wont manifest my dream life. I WILL, YOU WILL, WE ALLL WILL!!!! stick with your decisions, dont be afraid of time passing, that will hold you back.

i said this earlier i was gonna write this on my own blog but i feel more ppl would see it here. i hope that previous example i said about switching to void, to med, to affirmations really sticks with someone because that realization was key.

if you dont have what you want in the 3d after 3 days, GENUINELY address your beliefs. when blogs suggested to address your limiting beliefs, i never would bc i thought i was doing everything perfectly. BUT IM SERRRIOUUUSSSS address them. heres cleos post abt somethings that may be holding you back that was my catalyst fr to address what i was doing wrong, even if my exact problem wasnt listed there.

TYYYY CLEOOOOOOOO ill continue affirming!!!! sorry for typing mistakes i manifested a laptop but ive only used tumblr on mobile.

tysmmm for this luv💗💗💗 you should put it on ur blog too

#anontips #law of assumption

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manipulatorkaleidoscope · 9 months

Text

Going over the other dread tower bros, Kyle and Evel

For @0iam0 (who requested this yesterday along with Count Nightfell)

Anways while I think that bros are so silly and the entirety of the dread tower is like, so silly, I actually don’t have that many head cannons for them. It’s ok tho, I’m hoping the ones I have are good enough 👍

Kyle:

Bro is a furry. Like cmon why wouldn’t he be

Aslo he Gossips a lot. He as a mysterious online friend that also tells him a lot of the dirt In the place they are staying over at and he tells them the sort of dread tower back (I’ll reveal said mysterious friend IF you guess who they are and ask about them. But until then… it for me to know and for you to find out 😏 )

Also he had been living alone with no place to go until he stumbled into dread tower one day (I know it’s in the middle of nowhere but HEAR ME OUT-) and Hyde saw him and was like “oh you poor thing” and then he was like “you wanna stay here free of charge, I have like 30 empty guest rooms” and Kyle was like “lmao sure”. He doesn’t show it to Hyde but Kyle is extremely great full lmao.

Also that’s one of the reasons why Kyle admirers Hyde so greatly and he was willing to go along with the entire battle cruise scheme as well as being the introductory act of dread tower. He just wants to make Hyde proud

(Hyde IS proud. But don’t tell Kyle I said that.)

Evel:

Constantly has to be reminded by Hyde to go to sleep but rarely ever listen

Aslo has become the perfect outlet to yell at when someone is talking sh*t about someone else. Mostly because he won’t tell a soul since he isn’t even listening.

Evel is a simple guy. He would also experiment on people if Hyde didn’t stop him from doing so (“They’re our guests, Evel! NOT ur lab rats!”)

Apart from that really gets along with Hyde. He thinks Kyle is a bit anoying, but he’s ok. He thinks count night fell is a bit extra, but he’s also ok. Isn’t sure what to feel about Phi though.

Okay!! Time for the personal rating!!

Kyle

✨6/10✨. In this case, this is actually good for him. At first I wasted exactly sure what to think of him, and then I found him kind of… bad per se. I thought he was kind of dramatic (in a bad way) and that he was kind of ugly (I sorry but they gave Kyle some of the worst camera angles known to mankind 😓). But the when I rewatched turbo again (and again) I didn’t think he was that bad. He was just, silly and weird, just like everyone else at dread tower. I like stuff about him, like for example, his mask. The only major complain I have about him though is that his outfit is In some serious need of a redesign but hey, he still cool in my book 👍

Evel

✨5/10✨. Im not really sure how to feel about him. On one hand I always love to see a good Beyblade scientist/smart person (see: Gwyn),I think his soulless eyes are one of the most ingenious character design sh*t that the show has ever pulled and I genuinely love seeing his interactions with Hyde, but on the other hand… he’s kinda boring. Plain. Just used as another character to build others storylines on top of. Literally the only thing that bro did to advance the plot was give Aiger the invitation to Dread tower. Then he was used by other characters to advance the plot, which is kinda sad. Also bro only got two battles…which don’t you know how sad that is..?(EVeN PHELIX HAS MoRE THAN THAT) (/srs but hey I still love u Phelix 🥰). The point is, we just need a more plot revelant, more screen time Evel with a dash of personality on the side. Maybe then he will be better imo.

#kyle hakim #evel oxford #beyburst #beyblade burst #bey burst headcannons #k is rambling about beyblade kids again 🤦

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ambreiiigns · 7 months

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Ok spit it out, what's with these doubleblack yaoi boys you've been posting. um spill? don't worry about spoilers, i don't want to watch anime i just want to know

doubleblack yaoi boys. ok so first of all sorry for answering Days later i hope u still see this i'm so sorry i don't even know how to explain myself i don't remember what i've been doing. yesterday i was watching a bunch of friday the 13th movies but besides that i have no excuses. secondly i love the energy bc this is exactly how i ended up watching bsd i just cared about them a lot and learned everything i could until i decided i got this far i might as well just watch the damn thing. and i will say w the experience i have. it's not worth it babe just look at them they're the best part you're not missing out. anyway. i don't KNOW WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY UMMMMM the source material is this thing called bungo stray dogs it Is funny bc they decided the way to go abt this was make anime boys out of famous authors and like put half of them in the mafia so you have to sit there and nod when they call edgar allan poe a famous criminal or whatever. like 👍 and then they have powers based on one of their most famous books or whatever. and they're faggy. you will have to see people talk abt fyodor dostoevsky getting hole.

but besides all the Sillies. the doubleblack boys you ask about have genuinely honest to fucking god become like. one of my favorite pairing like. thematically or whatever. their dynamic is insane they are so cool. uhhhh hang on i'm embarassed let me hide

idk they're. they meet at 15 years of age teenagers by my chemical romance blasting. dazai is a member of the local /mafia/ and he's like a pathetic wet cat. he's sad and weird. he feels bored w life and finds it to be, frankly, Not Worth It so he's like passively suicidal but he won't straight up DO IT bc he doesn't like to be in pain bc he's a little baby. he joined the mafia thinking that maybe if he exposes himself to death and violence he'll change his mind but it hasn't worked yet it just made him Fucked Up. his special ability is called no longer human and he can switch off anyone's powers by touching them and it kinda gives him brainworms (will elaborate later). he's the one w the dark hair and wrapped in bandages and the most beautiful boy in the world. chuuya is a street punk baby gang (they're called The Sheep. smh) member ajfjakfiisg he Hates the mafia Hates authority is so so loyal to his little friends and he seems to be just Amiable and likable cause everyone's immediately fond of him to some extent and he's always surrounded by friends or making small talk. and he's like so fuckin bold and brave and arrogant cause he's got according to the author Thee strongest powers in this universe so he never has to like. stop and think. his ability is called upon the tainted sorrow and controls gravity. he's so kickass and liddol. he only fights using his liddol leggies to kinda rein himself in. he's got the red hair and always wears a choker bc he's so sexy and not like other girls.

so they meet bc chuuya's gang has been getting Big thanks to his powers to the point where the mafia's concerned and also they're investigating on some rumors abt arahabaki which is like an old god. chuuya gets dragged to the mafia hq, ends up having to work w dazai to solve this arahabaki stuff, and they. boohoo they DON'T like each other they DON'T wanna work together >:((( they're little enemies to ????? but the thing is To Me they don't even. hate each other that much. like they clash personality-wise sure and they get on each other's nerves on purpose Sure but also they're kids. it's not that big of a deal. they still take time to play arcade games together and make stupid bets during their mission. they're so endearing actually. anyway the catch Is. that arahabaki is actually this thing called a singularity which is when you put together two abilities that have kinda opposite effects and the Government had been doing experiments to create that power so they can use it and CHUUYA's one of the experiments wahh!!! the result is that chuuya has Another cool power called corruption where he just goes batshit and like throws black holes around and stuff and he's unstoppable but the catch is that once he activates this power he can't stop it he just has to wait until it consumes him and he Dies. here's where dazai's nullification ability comes in. more on that later. (it's as if they can only truly Work together. it's as if they were made to be together. haha 🤪) a member of the mafia (Arthur Rimbaud) reveals that he was There when chuuya blew up bc he actually wanted to keep chuuya as a little meat puppet and use that power for himself and YET! even after hearing this! chuuya gets attached to him. like yea the two of them kill him (through the power of Holding Hands mind you) but then he visits his grave and shit. bc this was the first person to tell chuuya that he's human. coming from a place of having seen first hand what makes him feel like he isn't. so he cherishes that a lot. after that the sheep Betray chuuya after some Dazai Manipulation Of Everyone™ bc he does that yk he's a little shithead he's a little evil. BUT he kinda had good intentions bc he's Clever and Observant and noticed so easily how much the sheep were using chuuya for his abilities and he has a Thing where he doesn't. love people using chuuya like that. so he wanted to cut him out of the gang and have him join the mafia with Hiiiiim instead :) and chuuya's mad at him. cause he still took his friends away from him.

but he does join the mafia he Does kinda like it there and him and dazai are assigned to be full time Partners and they get the nickname soukoku, or double black, The Most Feared Duo in the city, thanks to their little corruption-no longer human trick that just wipes out any enemy like it's nothing. then they uhh there's a bit where chuuya is like actually pissed of at dazai unironically for Once and dazai's so mopey that he actually like behaves like a good person so chuuya forgives him. my girl is mad at me i hope i die fr. i'm not familiar enough w this Piece of Lore so i can't elaborate further but like i'm obsessed w it.

anyway THEN jump to when they're about 18 dazai makes another friend named oda who like. sure he's soul-tied to chuuya forever but oda (and Another guy who i don't even wanna Think about) are the only people he'd Call friends. (also they're like a few years older than dazai and i'm Obsessed w the fact that he's such a miserable weirdo that the only people besides chuuya that he can make genuine friends with are some. adults.) and then oda DIES and the fault lies both in the mafia and the third friend and his final words are something about how he wishes he could have gotten out of the mafia to be a good person and he hopes dazai gets to do that. and it kinda Shapes the rest of dazai's life. he switches his perspective around and decides that if exposing himself to death and violence didn't Fix him maybe now he can try being Nice and Helping People and maybe that will make him feel like it's worth being alive. so he disappears from the mafia and a while later joins a local detective agency which is where we find him when the story actually starts. the night he leaves chuuya gets drunk. because he's soo happy. (i think he lied. abt being happy)

the first time chuuya and dazai meet again after this is in some fuckin Dungeon and dazai's chained to the wall and chuuya says it looks Hot and then they talk shit and bicker until they end up collaborating and chuuya lets him go (aka dazai talks his way out of it) and then they pull some fucking cringy ass Joke and they Laugh abt it and it's like. oh wow they're still the same. after all this time apart. we're still Like That and we haven't changed. :) after That they reunite in an episode named after them where they have to babysit some creepy enby kid w a spooky evil doll and fight H. P. Lovecraft during which chuuya has to use corruption and it's Glorious. it had been said that dazai is like speechless and completely fascinated by chuuya when he uses corruption. lol.

then there's the fucking MOVIE. oh my GOD. the main thing w them from the movie is. oh man. dazai 1. joins the Bad Guys but actually he's just Infiltrating to Defeat Them From Within 2. gets found out bc he's not that smooth and stabbed w a poisoned knife 3. gets trapped in a fuckin Dragon or smth and is realistically and understandably presumed dead. and then chuuya gets called in to kill this Dragon (i will not give more context on the Dragon bc i for one just barely understand what the hell is going on) and the only choice is to use corruption even tho he gets advised to not do that since dazai's probably dead and without him chuuya WILL die too. but he's like nah no way. that cockroach would NEVER die. (i trust him) so he uses corruption smashes the dragon to bits and even in the fucking. fugue state that he gets into. he spots dazai manages to recognize him calls out his name and fucking. punches him in the face. making him swallow some antidote he had hidden in his mouth all along. bc somehow dazai ALWAYS knows (remember he's clever) and he's ALWAYS one step ahead. but chuuya always knows HIM. they hadn't discussed this they just. trusted each other to have their back no matter what. dazai trusted chuuya to make him take the antidote and chuuya trusted dazai to snap him out of corruption even when it made no sense. it's about the TRUST!!! like yea no matter the circumstances the relationships the affiliations. this is him. he's got me. hey. of course. this is insane. chuuya punches him. technically upon contact corruption is now switched off. and then dazai reaches up to touch his cheek so softly. and says "you used corruption believing in me? how beautiful" people died tbh. oh you used your super insane deadly powers? even if as far as you were concerned i was as good as dead? you trust me that much? and You trust me enough to sit around this whole movie w a pill in your teeth knowing i'd make you swallow it just at the right moment? how did he even KNOW they're so insane. (then chuuya says "yeah i believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness" and dazai answers "that was a somewhat violent way of waking snow white" shut the fuck up tbh) this is the highest moment. i will be forever insane. and then dazai like shoved chuuya's head in his crotch but i don't fucking CARE STOP BEING HORNY

and then we get to the latest season and chapters. oh man. ok so. dazai's in superjail w his actual archnemesis Fyodor Dostoevsky. people are becoming vampires. stick w me. fyodor brings chuuya Into superjail to help him kill dazai. chuuya is now a vampire and YES he is serving cunt. dazai almost drowns fyodor and chuuya to death and does a sad gay little speech abt how it's sad that it had to end this way and "there were moments where our hearts reached out to each other" girl WHAT???? "like…" and he THINKS abt them doing the corruption trick and holding hands to defeat rimbaud and just Existing next to each other BUT WHAT HE SAYS IS NOTHING. he just waves it off like he ~actually~ can't think of anything bc he doesn't even care haha bye die!! he is so PATHETIC. he is so if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more -core tbh. he's such a liar. and THEN fyodor has chuuya shoot him in the head. lol. and what dazai has to say about THIS is like oooo maybe if i say something sweet chuuya will come back to normal. and so he says "chuuya our fate will not end in a place like this because you and i are destined to" and then he gets SHOT. IN THE HEAD!!! AND I LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!!! personally this was very "you know i… i…" "i don't know" "but he knew well enough" book reddie of them to be h. anyway. dazai's not dead. and you know what's funnier. chuuya was never even a vampire. he put on fake teeth and contacts and Lied. Pretended. Successfully. to like one of the smartest characters in this universe. hello. now i don't KNOW if i'm meant to read this as in it was always planned or if chuuya had this plan and dazai had to catch up w it like i don't know at what point does dazai know that chuuya was faking it. any theory on this is Hilarious to me. but he said the corniest shit to this man's face. good lird. yk before this season people argued that it was chuuya who cared abt dazai more and i can understand where you'd get that from considering how cold and distant and Fake dazai is (you'd be wrong and stupid) but like i feel like after this dazai's lookin pretty down bad ngl. i don't think there's any imbalance between them but if i had to pick. yk. anyway. chuuya Did actually shoot him but then he used his gravity powers to slow the bullet down Inside of the gun so that it wouldn't kill him and fyodor wouldn't see it. and dazai's like. oh yeah this trick? this little game? we used to do this all the time :) HELLO!!!!!! obsessed w THEM!!!! THEY FUCKED AROUND LIKE THIS? OF COURSE THEY DID. i KNOW they sat around age 16 and crafted the most RIDICULOUS convoluted plans Just In Case and then they give them little code names that they STILL remember YEARS after their partnership fucking ENDED this was insane. and then just walk it off? THEY ARE UNPARALLELED. PERIODT.

so. the girls who don't get it will say they hate each other or whatever. me personally i think it's bullshit. i think they just have That type of vibe. obviously they care. obviously they trust each other more than anyone else w everything they have at all times. and maybe they just also find each other fucking annoying and that's All. when they're 15 dazai finds him obnoxious bc he's too impulsive and never bothers to strategize bc he can rely on his powers being soooo fuckin strong and that's All. i think he's just jealous bc he wishes he could be as lazy as chuuya can afford to be. like he has lichrally Nothing to hate chuuya for he's perfect. chuuya on the other hand,,, besides just personality differences where he finds dazai depressing and offputting JAJDJAKFKAKG like dazai takes his friends away from him. his family the only place he feels he belongs to. i get being mad at dazai after that. but not even for long bc he ends up liking the mafia more anyway and agrees w dazai that the sheep were trash to him so what's left. i don't KNOW if dazai ever commits other significant crimes to him like 😭😭 don't get me wrong he might. i mean it when i say he's kinda evil. he might have done some other shit and i'm forgetting. but i don't think there's anything major that causes genuine hate. the closest thing i can imagine is that dazai, again, dragged him away from his friends, into the mafia, and then leaves him there alone. chuuya's loyal to a fault and can't stand betrayal so i'm sure he's pissed. but dazai also says at some point (not to him ofc) that he regrets not bringing chuuya w him when he left the mafia. sigh. so i think it's just mostly silly bickering.

on a Deeper sense i have some Thoughts abt. ugh. i sort of briefly mentioned that chuuya has some issues w feeling human, and dazai has some issues w his ability (no longer human) and like. besides the trust. this is becoming my favorite thing abt them. at their Core they have the same Thing they just go abt it in the opposite way. neither of them feels like a real human being. chuuya has this very artificial power inside of him so strong that it has a will of its own and dazai has a power that deletes if momentarily other powers. they're both a fuckin. affront to nature in their own ways. and when dazai doesn't feel human he just responds w apathy and like whatever ok i'm not then i wanna die and get it over with what's the point. but when CHUUYA doesn't feel human he's fuckin upset abt it and he wants to idk fight to be human anyway and prove himself wrong. and i feel like. they meet and chuuya sees this perfectly human boy who doesn't appreciate having what he's always struggling for. and dazai sees someone who's justified in feeling separated from humanity and yet he wants to force himself into it ? like man i WISH i had an excuse for feeling like this. and chuuya's like man i wish i hadn't had anything done to me that makes me feel like this. and so they're like,,, so fundamentally mad at each other but then they're also the only other bitch they know w this specific problem so even if they go abt it so differently there's comfort there too that they can't get anywhere else like. they are functionally stuck together bc who else is ever gonna Get It. and chuuya always wants proof that he's just as human as anyone else but then dazai !! he knows perfectly well !!! that chuuya IS like def more human than he'll ever be at the very least bc he knows !! better than chuuya ever will !! what it's actually like to be separated from humanity !! and dazai sees all this passion and energy into this little guy and like how could you ever doubt how could you ever wonder. what else would all this come from if you're not human. i don't even have an ounce of this and technically i Am human so what. dazai takes HIMSELF out of humanity chuuya was TAKEN out of it. and then their power. the fact that dazai's powers that he doesn't even like actively take away what makes chuuya feel less human ?!! there is some kind of mutual aid going on. dazai's ability CAN'T be that bad if it's at least fixing chuuya and it's in fact the ONLY thing that can save chuuya's life. and the irony of it being called no longer human when it does the opposite for chuuya. they're the only thing that sort of justifies themselves to Themselves. the place where the inherent anger for each other comes from is also where the inherent trust comes from. so even if they piss each other off and even if they'd never admit to any positive feelings like they'd do for their other friends they're just. tied. red string or whatever. i think the reason why they Keep finding their way to each other even when they work for enemy factions is Well They Have No Choice for better or worse they'll always be stuck together ! for worse probably. i don't think they're thrilled by that. but no one else is ever gonna Get Me like this bitch !!! so we're sticking together. can you believe i'm chuuya nakahara and the only time i can use the full extent of my powers is when This Guy is around. i can never be 100% myself w anyone else. and can you believe i'm osamu dazai and the only time that i feel like my powers aren't an offense to nature itself is when i use them to keep This Guy from blowing up. so my Burden isn't that bad it's actually Good sometimes. probably just for him but that will do. they're like i can never use all of my powers/i can never use my powers in a way that makes me feel ok except when he's involved. no they're fucking insane tbh it's fascinating.

dazai SAYS MULTIPLE TIMES that he thinks abt chuuya every moment of every day (specifically on how to piss him off but Still) (it's their love language) dazai stopped wishing he could die when he was 15 bc he met chuuya and he was the only exciting surprising thing that he'd seen so far and he wanted to stay alive to figure him out. chuuya keeps using corruption over and over and he puts his life in dazai's hands over and over and he never misses. dazai's the only one who's immune to chuuya - his stupidly strong powers sure but also his stupidly strong physical combat skills bc he knows him well enough to dodge. chuuya's the only one who can understand where dazai's going w his plans and meet him there. dazai calls him slug and chuuya calls him mackerel. once someone close to chuuya saw them stand side by side and said they were surprisingly perfect together. you know. so on so forth. do you Get It

also they're like in love and fucking i guess but that's collateral. i'm not gonna pretend to be strictly intellectual abt them. yas we ship them in a silly sexy way. but also they're incredibly fascinating just the way they are in the text. yk what i mean ?

here look at them as a treat. manga collage in chronological order anime reunion and official art for the movy. what on earth i say

#ask #pls lmk if u see this i'd hate to like. leave u hanging. i'm so sorry i like them so much that i overwhelmed myself at the chance to #fuckin talk abt them sjdkskcksf #i busted out Google Docs for this. it's LONG. i'm insane. sorry

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uhgood-girl · 6 months

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people are having a lot of interpretations on the line jk used in his apple music interview my views were different but messed not clear when he said I will never cross the lines with armys which a singer or artist should maintain everyone taken it as he is saying he will not use them for his benefit, sexual desires, hook up nd all crap they assumed but I don't think he want to say that can u please explain ur point of view not share it please.

hi anon, i hope you can forgive that i'm not sure how to answer this without sharing it? maybe i was supposed to post about it unprompted but to be perfectly honest, the quote in question didn't stick out to me at all before this.

i personally haven't seen any discourse over it either and am confused as to why there would be any as it seems within the lines of the normal boundary setting most of the members have done at some point or another to me.

but to be fair to you and this ask, i went back and watched it again just to make sure i didn't miss anything. the section being discussed starts around 26:13 and ends around 27:40 and in summary the interviewer asks jk about the special relationship bts have with army, how unique and symbiotic it is and what is jk's favorite part about this dynamic. jk answers that he agrees it's very special and how it's important to him personally to continue to try and have "authentic and comfortable" convos with army that show a real version of him. he adds the disclaimer that he knows that there's a line that shouldn't be crossed between performer and audience and he won't cross it but he wants to be our "friend" as much as he can.

so, do i think the "line" he has no intention of crossing here refers to not using army for his benefit/sexual desires/hook ups? uh, no, i'm with you anon, i don't think that's what he meant at all. but not because that line doesn't exist for him, i think it does, but like, that goes without saying, right? assuming jk is a decent human being who would never use his fame or money to unfairly take advantage of anyone, which is something i hope we're all on the same page about here as i don't know why anyone would ever willingly be a fan of someone they thought with high probability would do such a thing, would that not be saying the quiet part out loud? is there some group of genuinely delusional y/n's in a foxhole some where needing this spelled out still? (rhetorical, please don't make me think about saesangs today)

i put quotations around the word "friend" up there because at the end of the day, there will always be a (needed) barrier between idol/artist/performer and fan and jk can't really be our friend in the true sense of the word, which he's aware of. the nature of this type of relationship as a whole already maintains a weird, fluctuating power imbalance between both parties as one cannot exist without the other and you won't get very far, on the artist side of things especially, without understanding this.

but jk has kind of, sort of already crossed some "lines" with us in how willing he has been to show and share so much of himself with us, over the last year, in particular. in case you just fell off the turnip truck yesterday, as my very southern grandmother would say, getting to witness someone as famous and untouchable as jk chilling in real time in their home and bed even, is highly unusual. most celebrities with that level of status wouldn't be caught dead sharing something like that and understandably so, tbh, as most fans couldn't handle that level of intimacy with their idol. hell, a lot of people who consider themselves fans these days apparently can't handle it either, which makes me very sad and tbh how dare you potentially ruin the trust so many of us have spent years building up with them. rude. taking things for granted is how you lose them and the special relationship bts and army share only stays special with effort, but i digress.

i think jk's disclaimer here was an assurance that he's very aware of what he has chosen to share could be perceived by some as having already gone too far but that his boundaries are still firmly in place. "authentic and comfortable" are a priority to him but he's not going to exceed our shared comfort zone. he may be a lot more candid than some, say seokjin, who may as well be an international man of mystery for as much as he's willing to show off the clock in comparison, but jk knows what he's doing. and considering how young he started and how long he's been in the spotlight, he seems exceptionally well adjusted and savvy overall at navigating these extremely tumultuous waters, imo.

anyway, respect your artists as human beings and know your own fan boundaries, folks. there's always some nuance to be had, especially on a site like this where it's a mostly contained bubble for us, the audience, to throw around our fiction and theories and odes to how beautiful they all are but when you leave this space with any of that (minus the odes, maybe) and put it in front of these very real people in question, you've gone too far. don't be that asshole. everyone despises that asshole. (including said artists! they're never going to say it that frankly but i will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

#jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook apple interview #uhgood-ask #jungkook

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fightingdragonswithwho · 1 year

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best bestie hiiii and happiest marcia monday in the world to u <333 (we manifested her back!!)

i RAN to your inbox because i have to know your thoughts on the latest ep. i thought it was sm more sad than last week 😭

best bestie hii!!! sorry for not getting to this yesterday! i hope you had the most amazing marcia monday and wishing u an even better tabitha tuesday!! <333

regarding the episode, i’m so glad we always run to each other to scream!! i did cry more in the previous episode, but there such a deep sadness to this one, especially with shiv 😭 seeing them actually have a somewhat healthy convo about their feelings made me SOB because look how far they came! i feel like roman will be so hard to watch because he will hit rock bottom so quickly because he looks too “okay” and it will be terrible! for ken to be “winning” in ep 4? yeah, he’s about to crash and i’m not ready, im so scared that the water motif becomes even more real for him 😭but the paper was such a genius writing decision, because he will forever wonder if it was underlined or not 😭 and shiv… baby ): even tho i’m not the biggest fan of the pregnancy arc in other show, i think it does make sense for shiv and it’s been hinted so much but it happened at the saddest possible time 😭 the way she says “you can’t go, not now” to logan and it’s even sadder now … i also never realised how much i liked the angst between her and tom but they’re KILLING me this season, there’s just something so deeply sad about their relationship that always gets me 😭 worried but excited to see where she goes because maybe things will turn around for her (this is me manifesting)

i’ll shut up soon because omg that’s so much text aojdisjdikfid but just wanna add that i somehow became a greg hater ?? 💀 he was my babygirl but i genuinely find myself wanting his scenes to be over now, him being more evil (the scene with kerry was my limit) than funny does not work for me, i hope he doesn’t even get the 20$ from shiv back by the end of this 💀

#okay leaving my i love you so much!!! here because omg i rambled too much lakdpdndk #ALSO GERRI AND KARL HAD ME DYING THIS EPISODE THEYRE SO FUNNY SJKSJDOSKKDJD #thank you for letting me ramble about this show bestie 😭 and most importantly for being you!!!!#manifesting the most amazing week for you!!!#H 🍁#ana! replies #succession spoilers #<- just in case #ask!

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lilychiquito · 3 months

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Now the big man himself 😩💅

Personally I think Lucifer would talk you through it and sex would always be planned but that’s just me this is going to be very vanillas

WARNING: PRAISE SEXUAL CONTENT SOFT SEX GRAMMER COCKWARMING TALKING THROUGH

You and Lucifer met a while ago the first meet he was charming but a bit goofy . Lucifer shook your hand longer then needed and nervously laughed it took a while but the more you hung out with him the more you two opened up to one other. You had too indicate the first kiss and that was when he brought you to his favorite place in hell it was a park he spent nearly hours cleaning the beaches so you guys can sit together. And now you two were a thing and planned to have your first time Lucifer was very experienced but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a wreck of nerves. Lucifer got everything you needed he brought you onto his lap and pulled your hair back “your beautiful” sex said almost admiringly with a small grunt also affected by the way you were nuzzled on top of his member “aww thanks can you fuck Me now or what” you responded playfully but impatiently wrapping your arms around his neck that made Lucifer chuckle “we have all night and all day don’t we I’m not busy tomorrow and actually this feels good” he said playfully and leaned back stroking your bare hip as you sat upright on him “n~no it doesn’t can you move” you pout a bit impatiently knowing he wasn’t planning on fucking you anytime yet “so excited aren’t you my duck” he giggled and kisses your cleavage gently you make a small gasp you started to move back and forth on him pleasing yourself using his member his eyes narrowed he wanted you to wait a bit longer but he didn’t want to push you too far so let you he held your hip careful not to knick you with his claws “good job princess just like that” he did a small grunt feeling the pleasure and the hear from the encounter you moan at his encouragement and move a bit quicker but before you can get yourself off Lucifer takes you off him laying you down gently and strokes your thighs going to your hip “h~heyy why s~stop” you ask him pouting Lucifer let out a warm chuckle and kissed your temple “you need patience love what can I do to please you?~” he asked genuinely and lifted your legs to your shoulders making you flushed you stop whining and blink to make sure you heard him right “u-I “ you can’t get it out it was one thing doing it but saying it just made you shy this amused Lucifer “right is this the same woman who was telling me all that dirty shit yesterday hm don’t get shy on me princess” he smirked cheekily and kissed your folds making you moan he loved the way that sounded and brought out his tongue licking your folds coating them in his spit “l~Lucifer “ .. you moan eagerly

“Yes princess” he asked with a chuckle and put your legs down to his shoulders spreading them again you look away nervously and then meet his eyes that are surprisingly confident but warm “I-that thing you said .. about” Lucifer smirked and rubbed your collar bones “yesss?” Almost urging to go on that cheeky grin still plastered on his handsome face “I-um you could .. g-p- go in ..” Lucifer giggled “oh I know I can dear how do you want it .. do you want me now..?” He rubbed his member on your folds coated in spit and arousal You nod eagerly “y-yes please” your breath hitched he smiled and slowly entered you careful not to Hurt you he lowered his body between your legs and slowly grinding in you he let out a soft groan and a sigh you moan slightly feeling how deep and gentle he’s being “mhpp~ Lucifer” you moan and wrap grab the bed sheets Lucifer takes your hand gentle and kissed your knuckles still moving inside you and put your hand down and places it on top of yours pressing it down to the bed you interlock your fingers with his and moan a bit louder “c~can you ~ harder” you ask hopeful

He wanted too but didn’t want too hurt you so just nodded yeah his breath Hitched with pleasure Lucifer sped up just a bit but he was still being very gentle you moan slightly whining wanting him to just take you but instead he moved and softly chuckled “shh be patient with me okay next time I’ll go a bit harder for now let’s be slow about this okay dear” you nod yeah your back arched a bit as he continued to hit a bit deeper “Mm~ Lucifer” you say a bit loudly and try to stifle your moans “don’t worry about that baby you can be loud let me hear you” he said kissing your collarbone and moaned as he moved inside you. You nod and gasp a bit. Lucifer moans a bit louder as well and pushed your hand down into the bed with his trying not to be rough “f-fuck good girl , good fucking girl just like that” he said in a whine you gasp slightly as he started to speed up “l-l~ shit I~ finish” you say not able to get a word out of your lips Lucifer nodded and pulled you into a kiss still moving inside you in between kisses he responds breathlessly “Oh~ f~fuck me too baby .. do you want me too pull out” you nod yeah at the answer telling him what you want and he pulled out with a gasp finishing onto your thigh and leaned on your shoulder he looked over at you wanting to make sure you’ve finished and wiped the semen that was spreading to your thigh “you did such a good job how do you feel hun” you gasp slightly recovering from the intense orgasm “mm~g-good” he chuckled at the reply “my duck I’ll start the bath” he smiled warmly and kissed your cleavage gently as you stroke his blonde hair.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer

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bennettzone · 2 years

Text

paint me in trust | bennett x reader

chapters ⇒ CH 1 | CH. 2 | CH. 3

word count: 3.8k

genre(s): fluff, friends to lovers

✎ synopsis: it all started with an encounter between you and bennett in dragonspine, which lead to an adventure where you are faced with many different situations.

✎ a/n: final chapter :] hope u enjoy

Chapter 3: paint me in trust, i’ll be your best friend

You woke up that morning feeling especially relaxed. No rush, no stress. Exactly what you needed considering what you had to do today.

It was something to look forward to, though! You happily recalled Bennett agreeing to meet up with you and accompany you on the trip.

Remembering that made wanting to go back the easiest part.

After getting up and following your routine of getting ready, you made sure to pack some extra supplies just in case you got stuck there longer than you wanted to be. Being extra prepared was important, you were reminded of that from the last trip.

That being said, you left your place feeling extra giddy. You’d never been so excited to go to Dragonspine…You were certain it would be a lot more enjoyable with Bennett around. He always made things a lot more exciting…

You didn’t doubt for a moment that this would be a memorable day.

Speaking of Bennett, you saw him in front of the gate where you said you’d meet up. He hadn't even noticed you yet, and seemed to be staring off into space.

“Hi, have you been waiting long?” You asked as you walked up next to him, immediately shocking him back to attention.

“Huh, oh— No, not at all!” He awkwardly laughed, scratching the back of his head, “I actually only got here a few minutes ago. I was so excited I tried to leave early but I ran into a few problems on the way.”

“I’m glad you made it. Do you wanna wait a bit before we leave?” You asked, and he shook his head.

“No need, I’m ready to go! We should leave as soon as we can so we don’t have to worry about it getting dark.” He beamed, already barely able to contain his excitement for your adventure.

“Alright then, let’s go.” You smiled, taking your place next to Bennett before making your way to Dragonspine.

The entire way there, Bennett couldn’t help but to almost talk his head off. Not that it bothered you, though. He told you a lot of things about the areas you passed through and even some stories of his own adventures thrown in as well. It was nice to hear, he told you things that even you didn’t know from all of your time exploring Mondstadt.

The way he spoke and jumped from topic to topic, it felt like he had all of it saved up over time until now. Almost as if…He’d been waiting for someone who would listen. You were happy to, but you really hoped he wasn’t thinking that you were only talking to him because you felt bad.

You’d genuinely wanted to be his friend like this for a long time, but until now it felt hard to catch a moment to even chat. He was usually busy adventuring…You wished that you’d had more opportunities to ask to join him. Better late than never though, and to start with such a thrilling trip made it ten times better.

That being said, it didn’t take too terribly long for the two of you to reach the outskirts of Dragonspine, and upon your arrival you advised that you both take a short break before going in to make sure you had everything you needed ready, in the case that there was an emergency. This was also serving as a short breather to prepare yourselves. You didn’t know what to expect after the last time you came out here.

“I actually learned how to make some warming bottles in case we needed them. I had the recipe sitting around my room for quite some time, I don’t think I ever tried making them until yesterday.” You said, taking one of said bottles out of your bag to show to Bennett.

He observed the bottle, the glowing red of the flame reflecting into his eyes.

“Looks fancy! I’m sure this will really come in handy.” He beamed, handing back the bottle.

“I’m hoping we don’t end up having to use it, but…It won’t hurt to have it.” Placing the bottle safely into your bag, you checked your supplies one more time before you both got ready to set off again.

Upon stepping foot into Dragonspine, you quickly refreshed the memories of the locations as you walked.

“We need to check below the Statue Of The Seven, next to the lake not too far from it, and next to the cave entrance. We should probably check in that order, I believe it’ll be the quickest.” You said, already seeing the massive beam of light from the statue in the sky.

“Sure thing! I don’t think there’s too many enemies around the areas either, well…Apart from the cave entrance.” He pondered on this for a moment, thinking back to the times he’d come here on a whim hoping for some good finds, “I mean, if we run into any trouble at all, I’d hope that it’d only be some weak hilichurls.”

“The hilichurls here tend to be more threatening. I remember one time that I, and a bunch of other people from the adventurer’s guild came here on a commission to defeat a big scary one…Ah, I can’t remember the name—“

“Frostarm Lawachurl!” Bennett said this in a burst, his eyes lighting up, “I’ve heard so many cool stories of adventurers encountering those! I’ve never come into contact with one myself, but that’s probably for the better…Who knows what would happen if it were me up against it.”

“I only tagged along as support since my vision isn’t very effective here…I have to admit, it was really cool seeing it in action. Kind of terrifying though, I’m glad that they’re not that common…”

Talking about your own travels seemed to light a spark in Bennett, as he went on about many different monsters he’d heard stories about. The ones he spoke of were only for the most qualified of adventurers to go up against, yet you’d seen basically all of them even if you didn’t fight them directly. Hearing of that fact, it only made him even more excited.

You were beginning to feel a bit chilly as the two of you talked, and you failed to notice that with each group of seconds passing by that you were walking closer and closer to him.

That is, until a random tree root tried to challenge you and sent you almost crashing into the frostbitten ground.

On your presumed descent to the ground, you fell slightly into Bennett…And by slightly, you actually fell straight into him. This was due to the fact that your right foot got caught and sent you very off balance, which just so happened to be in the exact direction of him.

It felt like a set up. It was almost like some power above was…Teasing you in a way.

You shut your eyes in an attempt to brace yourself, but you didn’t hit the ground. In fact, you felt a sudden warmth and the static in your ears from the adrenaline transitioned into a voice.

“Woah, are you alright?!” A pair of almost-burning hands squeezed your arms, trying to support you and pull you back onto your feet.

“I’m okay, sorry about that…” You shook your head, your body calming down slightly as you regained balance.

“No worries, you feel really cold though…We should get to some kind of heat source soon.” Bennett spoke softly for the first time since you started the trip, which sent some sort of signal to your heart.

You felt a bit of feeling return to your body in that moment, and suddenly things started feeling a lot more okay.

“There’s one up ahead near the statue, I’ll be fine until we get there.” Even though you said it with no falter in your voice, Bennett seemed almost reluctant to let go of you.

He did eventually though, giving you a look that had concern written all over it.

“Okay…Just let me know if you need a hand, I won’t mind at all.” You nodded at his words, and you continued down the path.

Just as you said, when the two of you arrived at the statue there was a lit torch not too far from where you needed to check on the flowers. This called for a short break, one of many you’d be taking on the trip.

“Say, how come you didn’t feel so cold? One could assume it’s because of your vision but from my knowledge it doesn’t really make much of a difference.” You asked, and Bennett shrugged.

“I have no idea honestly. I do start feeling cold eventually, but I guess I’ve come here so often I’ve gotten kind of used to it. Or at least I’ve been able to prepare myself better, I think…”

As he talked, he looked at you for a moment, quickly reading the sad expression on your face. It made him worry right away. He felt as if, for some reason, maybe it was his fault…Though he couldn’t think of a reason why, so he didn’t think of it that way for too long.

“Is there something on your mind? You can let me know if there is.” He felt a bit awkward saying that, but you appreciated him asking.

“I don’t think it’s anything serious, but…I’ve noticed I always get this weird feeling when I come here. I rarely come alone, but no matter the length of the trip or the amount of people I’m with, I always end up feeling really lonely…I guess Dragonspine just has this really…Isolating feel to it.”

Bennett understood exactly what you meant. He found himself feeling lonely more than he’d be willing to admit, but Dragonspine always took the cake for the amount of loneliness he could feel. Regardless, the endless possibilities of adventure always brought him back here at some point.

“I see…Let’s make this quick then! We shouldn’t stay any longer than you’re comfortable with.”

You smiled at his words, responding in agreement before you both walked to the location of the flowers.

When you checked, they were still there and intact.

“Wonderful…Okay, if we take that path over there we’ll end up next to the flowers I put by the lake.” Your energy was much better now, as hearing Bennett’s words seemed to rekindle the fire in you.

The next location wasn’t so pleasant to come across.

“Wow, jeez…Speaking of hilichurls, it seems they managed to get to the flowers before I could.” You said, disappointment lacing your tone, “It’s alright though, Flora told me it’d be okay if something happened to them. It’s for testing purposes, after all.”

“Aw, bummer…Hopefully we can find the last ones safe and sound. I know where we’re going now since you kind of found me there yesterday, haha…” Bennett said, a bit embarrassed but ready to head off nonetheless.

Upon reaching the cave entrance, you noticed immediately that the flowers there were gone too. Except, this time you saw a clear trail of footprints leading from the place you left them into the cave.

“I want to look a bit into the cave, but if we don’t find them quickly then I won’t worry myself to death over it.” Bennett nodded at your words, and you stuck close together as you wandered into the cave entrance.

You turned up empty handed, not much to your surprise. You had a little bit of hope… But that was quickly put out.

You were in the cave for a good ten minutes, before you decided to give up your search and head back.

The trip was almost over, which felt like a huge relief…All you had to do now was get out of here and make your way back to Mondstadt.

Once you reached the cave entrance, Bennett grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“Hold on a minute…I hear something. Like…Voices, I think.” He said, and you both went silent as you observed outside of the entrance.

To your dismay, you saw a large group of Treasure hoarders gathered outside.

It was more than you, Bennett, and the two of you combined could handle. It was far beyond that…Plus they looked like the more threatening types.

You felt a wretched feeling building up inside of you, dread and fear combined and beginning to slowly eat you up inside.

It was so unlike you, someone who was thought of so highly by so many people…To feel that type of fear was deadly.

Bennett seemed to pick up on that fast, though. He tugged at your arm, leading you to an area away from the trouble.

He placed his bag on the ground, and to your surprise he pulled out some materials and made a small makeshift fire.

“Stay here for a bit, I’m gonna go check the area and see if there's a way we can get out without getting ourselves into any trouble. I’ll be quick, promise.” He smiled as he said those words, and even though you felt your nerves start to settle a bit, a part of your mind was begging him not to leave you by yourself here.

You didn’t want to stop him, though, as him doing that was probably your best bet on getting out of here without stirring up anything bad.

“Alright, but also promise me you’ll call for me if you need any help.” You said, and with that, all of Bennett’s doubts and worries seemed to melt away.

You trusted him with every fibre of your being, much as he did with you, and he was beginning to pick up on that.

“Of course, I promise.” He said, and at that, he walked away and began checking around.

As the minutes went by, you couldn’t help but begin to notice the horrible feeling of worry you were beginning to get.

Maybe it was just taking longer than you both expected it to…If he was in trouble he surely would’ve told you by now…

Your fears were beginning to get the best of you, though. You had to go check on him…

Walking away from the fire Bennett had made, you made your way to the cave entrance. It didn’t take long for you to hear the commotion that was rising.

It triggered something in you, and you picked up speed, quickly preparing yourself to engage in a fight if you had to.

Once you made it to the entrance, it became scarily apparent that the commotion wasn’t coming from the treasure hoarders.

In fact. the group of treasure hoarders had been completely wiped out by something far more threatening.

In front of you was the most terrifying sight, one of which involved Bennett standing at the feet of one of the most threatening monsters you’d ever come into contact with.

If you couldn’t guess already, it was none other than the frostarm lawachurl.

Breathing heavily, you rushed towards Bennett as the creature furiously roared. You recognized it as the charged up form of the monster. It only meant bad news.

Even if it was the slightest glimpse, you noticed that Bennett was starting to shake. Not from fear but the sheer cold that followed anywhere you went here.

You had to act, and fast.

Right as it was about to swing at Bennett, you lunged forward with your spear, distracting it for a moment.

“Bennett, we have to run!” You shouted, right as your weapon was nearly smacked from your quickly-freezing hands.

In that moment, time slowed down.

The beast was readying itself, about to launch a full-force attack on Bennett.

You had to do something, but what? Your vision was useless for this…And you had nowhere near the physical strength required to stop that attack.

So instead, you shoved Bennett as hard as you could out of the way, and activated a water shield that would not stop you from getting hit but would at least absorb some of the attack.

As soon as the attack made contact, you felt your entire body go cold.

It didn’t stop you though, as you ran towards Bennett and grabbed him, making a break for it and fighting through all of the pain that you felt in that moment.

You ran as far as you could, as fast as you could…All of your effort and remaining strength was focused on getting the two of you out of there alive.

You couldn’t focus on anything else, not aware of if Bennett was saying anything, or any sound at all, really.

All you need is that you felt your energy depleting fast, and your sight was going darker and darker until you no longer remembered what came next.

That was, until you suddenly realized that you were no longer in Dragonspine.

You shot up, disoriented for a moment until you realized where you were.

Though you felt weak, and chilled to the bone, you realized that your surroundings were none other than your own home.

But…Weren’t you just in Dragonspine…?

“Hey, you’re awake! Thank goodness, I was so worried…I don’t even know where to start, I should start by saying I’m so sorry for all of that, it’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have left you alone or tried to fight that thing by myself but I didn’t want you to get involved–“

“Bennett?” Your tone stopped him dead in his words, and he watched you carefully, “What happened?”

“Oh…After you blacked out, I brought you back to the Adventuer’s camp just outside of Dragonspine. A few of them offered to help take you back to Mondstadt, and Barbara checked up on you as soon as you got back…She said you most likely passed out from stress, and your injuries were very minor.”

Hearing that was a massive relief, until the severity of it all finally hit you.

You sat up in your bed, still feeling the chill that buried itself beneath your skin. You were shaking, and even though you didn’t feel much pain it was still overwhelming.

“I’m glad you’re okay…I felt so scared in that moment. I’m glad I decided to come check on you. Don’t beat yourself up over this either, because we’re both okay.” You tried to get out of bed, but ended up nearly collapsing again before Bennett caught you for the second time that day.

“Hey, be careful…You should really rest right now.” He said this gently, and you couldn’t help but to melt into his arms at that moment.

Even with the flames in your fireplace being set ablaze, and the cozy blankets on your bed that you were so familiar with…You were still freezing, and nothing felt more warm and calming than this.

Bennett didn’t protest at all on this, and instead decided to stop talking and hold you tightly, running his hands along your frigid arms.

“I swear I’ll do everything I can to make sure something like this never happens again. Don’t ever hesitate to let me know if you need someone to tag along with you, I’ll always be somewhere you can find me, alright?” Bennett said, and you nodded, feeling your body shake with the warm comfort you’d been longing for ever since you stepped foot into Dragonspine that day.

“If I’m being honest, seeing you in danger like that made all of my fear go away, even if it was just for a second. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you either…And knowing I can’t always be there is really scaring me for some reason.” You admitted this with a heavy heart, and it seemed to stun Bennett into silence.

All he could do at this point was hold you, like it was the first and last time he’d ever be able to do so.

“It doesn’t have to be that way. If it helps you feel better, I’d be happy to tell you when I’m planning on going on any adventures, and you can choose to go with me on as many as you’d like. I had fun today, even with the slip up at the end. I wanna be there to make sure that you’re safe, too…As long as that’s alright with you.”

Even though you had only reconnected with Bennett a couple of days ago, it felt as if nothing had changed. The type of attachment you felt to him was different, like you never wanted to leave his side as long as you could manage to.

You pulled yourself back a bit, allowing yourself to look at him.

“That’s completely fine by me, I’d love that more than anything.” A warm smile crossed your face as you stared at each other, and he felt the same way as you in that moment.

It was odd, the fact that the way you felt for him managed to escalate so quickly. You weren’t uncomfortable with it though, as it was a nice feeling to have after so long of spending almost every day by yourself.

In that moment, the two of you subconsciously were leaning forward, and it wasn’t until Bennett realized just how close your faces were that his cheeks were suddenly stained with a bright shade of red.

“Oh, uh…Is this okay with you…?” He asked, and the same wave of sudden embarrassment hit you as well, but you nodded after a moment, and Bennett smiled.

“I feel really lucky to have crossed paths with you again, you know…You’ve always been so special to me, like a constant thought in the back of my mind. I really don’t mean to talk so much, but it’s hard not to with you…I hope you feel the same.”

“Of course I do, one hundred percent.”

And with those words leaving your mouth, the space between you began to close, before Bennett pressed the most gentle kiss imaginable onto your lips.

Quite endearing, if you do say so yourself.

After he pulled away, his demeanor got a lot more shaky.

“Ah…Jeez. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, really, but…You should really get back into bed now. I’ll be with you the entire time if you’re comfortable with that, I just wanna make sure you don’t put anymore physical stress on yourself.”

With a small laugh, you complied, getting back into your cozy bed with Bennett watching over you.

Even with the disaster at the end of your trip that day, the outcome was nothing less than satisfactory.

You were excited for the things to come, no matter when that may be.

And luckily, you could always return those flowers to Flora tomorrow.

#✎bennettzone-writing #bennett x reader #genshin writing #bennett #bennett genshin impact

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