#like ‘ha ha remember funny joke’

[alyakthedorklord]

Batman the Playboy

Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.

The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.

Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“

Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”

Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”

Green Arrow: (offended noises)

Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”

Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”

However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)

So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”

Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”

Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”

———

Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.

GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”

Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”

Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”

Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”

GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”

Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.

Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”

Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”

Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”

Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”

Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”

Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻‍♂️

“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”

Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!

The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.

And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.

(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)

Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.

#a few months later GL brings it up #like ‘ha ha remember funny joke’ #batman: ‘…joke?’ #justice league #😳 #yes joke #autistic batman #batman #brucie wayne #justice leauge shennanigans #batman the playboy

[stoat-party]

Obviously it has ethical implications but I do love the idea of X6 hanging around post-Institute and dropping Danse’s shutdown code in the middle of conversations. As a power play.

Like, oh that’s an excellent point, sir, but what if instead you went night night for awhile?

#this is a joke of course because there’s not really a way for x6 to find out what it is #i’m assuming the ‘go to sleep now’ code is different from the recall code #also it would kill danse to not be in control of his body #and not in a funny way #but it’s funny as long as you don’t think about it #he doesn’t do it to curie because he would feel bad and he doesn’t like remembering he has a conscience #fallout 4 #fallout #fo4 #x6 88 #x6-88 #x6 #x688 #how do people tag this guy’s name #danse #paladin danse #danse fo4 #danse fallout #danse fallout 4

[notachair]

Since atla is again having an extra surge of popularity, I'm shooting my shot:

[ID: (Rest of image description in alt). At the bottom of the image sits the text: "Zuko: Okay. Well, I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline is "leaf me alone, I'm bushed."" ID end].

Did we ever find out what the setup for this joke was? I feel kinda haunted by it. If not- anyone wanna make their best or worst guesses?

edit: I now know what "I'm bushed" mean, but go ahead anyway 👍

haunted thoughts in tags ↓

#atla #the way I was early out for this next surge in popularity 🤗 I was in a different phase by 2020 #it's not like it haunts me day and night but it does bother me thinking back on it. please tell me I'm not the only one 🧍‍♂️ #I'll have to reblog the 'closure is a myth' post jk #what kind... of joke is it? leaf pun on leave i get. I'm bushed however I dont get. it implies the punchline sayer is a bush at least I #think. but what prompts the 'i am bushed' I dont get. is it not contextual? is it a phrase ive not connected like 'leaf me alone'? #is there anotger layer between leaf and bush? again what kind of joke (social:joke purpose. what is funny? only pun?) + (in-joke set up)? #is it about the kind of bush it is? is it between two plants? the plant & someone picking on the plant like a teamaker collecting? #is it about a plant that has grown into bush and thus (somethingsomething)?? is it not a plant at all? other elements? iroh *what*. #if the creators actually had a setup in mind- I fear it will be lame. but yet I am haunted #it must have cracked someone up for him to try relay it. (set in term of endearment here) 🧍‍♂️👈 *poking him* #either way. me 🤝 zuko @ being bad at remembering & relaying jokes 😁👍 #at least in that instance anyway #I mainly stick to irony & sarcasm. running along with an mistaken assumption or replying w something silly & blowing it out of proportions. #puns if I'm lucky. ect. fun when I can reference it later tho I try not to overdo it. not like I'll likely remember it for too long anyway #now to lay in wajt see if anything happens.... #avatar the last airbender #zuko #atla zuko #a:tla #my rambles #its lie and not lay is it not.....

[starryluminary]

Do I have enough concrete evidence to claim Lindsay has prosopagnosia. All I’ve got right now is it’s the only reason that makes sense to me why Lindsay can’t remember Tyler’s Tyler in world tour. What if she literally can’t remember his face

#prosopagnosia is a disorder that makes it near impossible for someone to remember faces #I don’t remember island or action well enough to say she has it for sure #(obviously the real reason she doesn’t remember Tyler is because she’s a ditzy blonde joke and the show writers thought it would be funny) #but listen to me for a second!! #what if she knows heathers Heather cause her bossy voice is stuck in her head #what if she knows Beth’s Beth because she never takes off her side pony #what if she only remembers Tyler’s Tyler because she recognized the little T patch on his tracksuit #and I KNOW in island she likes him cause he’s cute or whatever but I don’t think that’s enough to disuade me from the concept #what if she found his hair cute?? his headband?? the way he walks and runs?? the hit on her when Duncan killed the roach in the first- #-episode?? #and if she did find his face cute I don’t think that’s enough to just cure your prosopagnosia for a person #she thinks he’s cute looks away looks back and remembers all over again #I’m no expert on prosopagnosia I’ve just read a couple articles so I don’t know if that’s accurate but. do you get me do you see what I see #food for thought #total drama #total drama lindsay #td lindsay #Starry speaks

[smallmediumproblems]

Now I may not be the best at media analysis but I can't pass up a chance to boost more shows

Image Description: A three-way venn diagram, with the thumbnails for Woe.Begone, The Grotto, and Subsister in each circle. Woe.Begone and The Grotto share "Mourning someone who still talks to you". Woe.Begone and Subsister share "Obsession and hubris". The Grotto and Subsister share "Guy goes into a fucked-up cave". In the center shared by all three is the thumbnail for Who Killed Alaska. Description ends.

#audio drama #recs #woe.begone #the grotto #subsister: a real podcast #who killed alaska #please go listen to Who Killed Alaska #remember that post about how it seems like there's One Weird Guy in the group but slowly revealed that everyone's just super weird #that it's like that #The Grotto is brand brand new and deserves all the love it can get #subsister has actually funny in-jokes about podcasts

[irrigos]

bad news: im at it again

#just remembered this image lol #if you're wondering why i keep bringing up my communist theory studies #and joking about how everyone probably hates it and finds it exhausting #even though no one has ever expressed. any opinion about it whatsoever #its because i am genuinely and sincerely embarrassed #and framing it like its a quirky affectation instead of just. my irrepressible autism way #feels a little better i guess #if its a funny bit or if its a thing im doing to spite the haters then at least it's something im doing on purpose yknow? #so if someone could please get Big Mad about the communism that would really help support my premise thanks

[moonchild-in-blue]

Another form of worship peeling 🔪🥕

I don't even know anymore guys.

#remember when this was a funny joke like. 3 weeks ago? #he has six eyes because of much carrot he c o n s u m e d. excellent vision acquired. #i had a thought and speed-ran with it #peeled vessel #sleep token #sleep token vessel #sleep token fanart

[werewolfclaws]

I dunno I think if multiple women told me that a character from a show I used to previously love was a disgusting hateful caricature of them and everything they love, I don’t think I’d like the character anymore.

#crow.txt #how is this even arguable #tme #transmisogyny #like as someone who LOVED rocky horror. I DONT ENGAGE WITH IT OR FRANK N FURTER ANYMORE BECAUSE TRANS WOMEN SAID IT HURT THEM!!!! #AND IT WAS MADE BY A TME. TRANSMISOGYNY EXEMPT TRANS PERSON. THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING. #like you can be naive and say oh they’re just named frank n furter because it’s German and funny and not because it’s making a trans woman #have a penis joke for a name. did you ever realize that. #and the fact that frank n furter turns into other people to TRICK PEOPLE INTO SEX??? BUT OH GENDERFUCK ICON #I don’t like you people (transmisognist tmes ) #anyways time for my haircut #this also includes HIM and Buffalo bill and so many more THAT I CANT EVEN REMEMBER #DO YOU KNOW HOW BQD OF A PROBLEM IT HAS TO BE TO HAVE NUMEROUS EXAMPLES

[smokeys-house]

My goal wouldn't be to blow up and act like I don't know nobody it would be to become loved or respected far and wide, fake my death dramatically and convincingly and then return 12 years later to see what the fanart situation is like.

#smokey talks #like all those random youtubers who faked their deaths but id do it in a funny way #actually i kinda think id hate being famous in any major capacity online or otherwise but #it would be kinda cool to be one of those people who has a webpage full of fanart submissions that eventually spirals out of control #im joking actually that also sounds awful #remembering the dream i had where a ton of new art of my oc id never seen b4 got uploaded to a certain funny numbers site and then #i got a C&D in the mail

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️ #@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ... #there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams// #recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 .... #and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)' #and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway. #tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀 #one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny. #and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

[hometownrockstar]

Its so crazy to me how like some tiktokkers made videos like "blinking is a symptom of ADHD" and then a bunch of people on here decided to treat adhd like the cringe guy disorder because they found those tiktoks annoying and now it feels embarrassing to say u have adhd like thats cool.

#Remember how a bunch of joke tumblr posts would have a punchline that amounted to #''This person has alters and is cringe'' #Like when are we gonna stop treating disorders like a punchline... its like ironic homophobia it goes too far and it just isnt funny

[chikaoofka]

7 (If your OC had to cosplay as a fictional character, who would they choose) for Magnetophone!

No idea how 'fictional' this question is meaning (i.e. fictional character in GENERAL or fictional character to them....?!) but I guess I'll go with fictional (to them) characters cos theres a couple.

The first one, and he's probably done this before to be honest, is Fortune 500, who looks like this (designed by @/dr9com9ge-ix):

He's this pretty universally-known tailmic "show host" of a show also called Fortune 500 which is mainly a comedy show but to the tune of that one "its illegal to say" skit you know? anyway it's popular with people like Maggie so of course Maggie would cosplay it. Maybe I'll come back and like draw it or something if I can figure out what the REST OF THE OUTFIT WOULD LOOK LIKE... beyond a mask

there's the second one, the half made-up "Sun God" (half in the way that, in the source material, there IS a sun god called the sun god, but the one that people talk about is this one they made up to make fun of the religious fanatic... fans. Of this other god-related TV show. I could explain more but it's like... off-topic? for this? I think?). not that I've got any cool PROPER images or anything I just wanted to say that

#also for clarity F500 is named after the EE song . #i hope you know i was trying to like #think about the show itself bc i hadnt givne it any thoght #and glue said 'make it a comedy kinda show' and then i remembered that skit and it all fell into place #i dont remember . any . like . fictional. characters . anyway so like... fictional fictional characters is GOOD FOR ME !!! #the sun god has got like... t shirt designs #in terms of how designed the guy is. he doesnt actually exist and is a joke so i guess that's fitting? cosplaying the sun god i think #would make the other guys look at you really funny but i know maggie wouldn't really care #magnetophone mode #ikea customer service

[guckies]

I just seen the pet Foolish thing on my dash again. So yeah I’m gonna have an opinion about it again.

The pet joke has and never will be funny.

Dapper essentially will just be comparing Foolish to an animal since he collects animals/mobs, which is wrong on so many levels. Then Sunny is also calling him an item, because he looked like money. Like they just dehumanise Foolish on so many levels all the time and it’s just not funny. Especially when he’s not there to defend himself.

I watched the entire conversation about it too and Bad says as long as everyone is okay with it when sunny said “pa said i could keep him”. Not that Foolish agreed to it, because he never did. That as long as everyone else is okay with it yet not Foolish. Because Foolish said if and when he got a mansion from them that he might consider agreeing to it, straight to Sunny’s face. Before that he was heavily disagreeing to the entire idea.

It’s literally just makes me feel so disgusted by others who make those types of jokes about Foolish or let them slide. To the point where I don’t want Foolish to interact with those people and some of them I actually enjoy watching. But every time I hear one of those jokes I just get so disgusted by them. Seriously do they no realise what they’re implying??

#didnt wanna say it at first bc i feel like sometimes people are harsh on the admins but like come on this joke is just not it #i was really hoping it would be forgotten about after the first time but like just ughh #bc i can’t remember if anyone else has made those jokes to another person on qsmp but its if they have its always been different bc its - #been a one stream bit that wasn’t actually being serious #but here they are being serious about it and it’s disgusting behaviour frankly #like i dont care about it being the eggs rp bc at some point the admins have to realise when something isnt funny #qsmp neg

[finxwrites]

They used to play the game a lot. One of them would say a name, and they wouldn’t ask the question aloud if they were anywhere even slightly public—secrecy was too ingrained in the three of them, and Mike had taken to it quickly enough—but they’d all hear it anyway: if they were a shifter, what animal would they be? They’d toss ideas back and forth, sometimes settling it at once, sometimes arguing for days. It was more fun than it had any right to be, and it hadn't taken Dustin all that long to figure out why: they’d never had anyone to share this with before.

Shifters mostly stuck with their own kind. In a town as small as Hawkins, that meant shifters mostly just had human friends, and politely avoided each other in the grocery store. It was part cultural norm and part instinct—something about being near other shifters made their animal side a little stronger, and animals don’t trust strangers. Especially strangers with sharp teeth. 

Mike had practically had to sit on them to get the three of them to be friends. For the longest time, just being around Lucas had made Dustin want to bolt. Hares and badgers weren’t even natural enemies, but it was enough that they weren’t friends, and that some deep part of Dustin, the part that lived right at the base of his skull, knew that Lucas could maul him with one well-placed strike.

Will hadn’t been so instinctively frightening—no one has anything to fear from a mouse. Where Dustin got jittery around the other two, Will went still and quiet. But Dustin had been as wary of that as he had been of Lucas’s on-edge sharpness. Everyone knew Will’s dad was a rat. Will had taken after his mother, but you never know with mixed shifters, and no one wants to tangle with a cornered rat.

Mike and Will had met on the first day of kindergarten and become instantly inseparable. Lucas had moved into the house next to Mike’s during spring break of first grade, and they’d hit it off almost at once. Mike hadn’t been able to understand why they’d both balked so hard when he tried to get them to play together at recess.

Most people would probably have given up after a few weeks. But Mike was one of the most stubborn people alive when he got an idea in his head. It didn’t get any easier when he and Dustin got close at summer camp, but Mike started second grade with an iron-hard determination that they would all be friends. Whether they liked it or not.

It took a little over a month for him to get all of them in his basement at the same time, very cautiously playing board games. It was another month before the three of them spent more than thirty seconds alone together, and even then it wasn’t voluntarily. Mike’s mom interrupted a game to insist he take a phone call from his grandma right now. Mike went with loud and lengthy protests, but he went, and then Dustin, Lucas, and Will were left staring at each other in suddenly stifling silence.

It was Will who broke it. Will had always been much braver than you’d expect a mouse to be. “If Mike was a shifter,” he said quietly, “what do you think he’d be?”

Lucas barely hesitated a moment. “A donkey.”

Will nodded pensively. Dustin snorted. “Because he’s stubborn as a mule?” he asked, at the same time as Will said, straight-faced, “Because he can be a real ass.”

Dustin and Lucas both lost it. Will grinned, and then joined in the laughter. That was how Mike found them, collapsed on the floor and giggling, drunk on the cut tension.

They weren’t magically friends after that. But for Dustin, at least, that was when it had started to feel possible.

#I crave the joy of Post!!! #stranger things #st grimm au #every 500 words I'm like :( why is there no one I can share this with :( #and I grow disheartened #so instead of growing disheartened I shall Post #and then write on #this fic also continues my accidental quest to give will a really dry sense of humor #I'm not sure I remember a single joke from him in canon #dustin and lucas are more the funny ones in their friend group I think #will is the audience (very important role. no shade here) #but apparently I simply must have deadpan humor in my stories #just can't do without! #and everyone else is too raucous #so will has been assigned this role #this is only the second such joke across two fics so I think I'll be fine wrt getting too ooc #but also maybe I should rewatch the show to get a better feel for his voice #alas! what a hardship this shall be

[fruit-colored-ninja]

Lloyd seems like the type of guy to keep a spider as a pet. I think he has a tarantula.

#ninjago #jay hates this btw. #he hates it even more every few months when lloyd texts the ninja gc like ‘hey guys Toby got out again keep your eyes out’ #(toby is the tarantula’s name) #(also he’s joking he has never lost his pet spider but he does think it’s funny hearing jay scream from across the bounty) #i can’t remember if it’s at all canon that jay hates spiders or if it’s just that one scene in s6 where he’s (understandably) freaked out #but that aside he just seems like the kind of person to let the loudest ear-splitting screech you’ve ever heard because a 1 mm spider #crawled across the table #anyways. back to lloyd. it just seems in character for him to have a soft spot for animals that other people label creepy. #also he thinks they’re cool as hell

[ickypuppi3]

“i always thought you were the most beautiful girl i ever seen” and “you make me feel like a person” from requiem for a dream but make it steve and billy

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #nasty!steve #sorry but it has to be #steve telling billy he’s the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen i’m so- #billy telling steve he makes him feel like he’s a person #like he’s beautiful #every time i remember that film exists i feel so deeply unwell it’s not even funny #you know like the worst vibes possible #i think it’s because it’s fucked up on a relatable level #you know like been there done that type thing #it makes me wanna throw up i’m not even joking that’s like the one film that has the ability to affect me that negatively #which is what makes it so perfect for nasty!steve #like their dynamic isn’t even remotely similar to harry and marion #but those lines work too well #also gives me the incentive to talk about them doing hard drugs together but #you know #that’s for another day maybe #can’t be bringing the mood down that much on a sunday #ickyspeaks