#life is very different if your dopamine works

[euaphoric]

𝟎𝟏. 🥛 ✶𓏲ּ “ i want to sew all my love into you ” — [ 정국이 ]

he was comfort, security, and need, all in one. it had a name; home <3

pairing ◞⁺⊹ husband!jk x wife!reader genre ◞⁺⊹ married/domestic au, pwp, slight age difference (jk is older by 5 years)

warnings ◞⁺⊹ insane tooth-rotting fluff bc i’m in need of high dopamine levels, cute n soft smut, you’re a clingy wifey, minor mentions of anxious/sad thoughts, o/c is kinda whiny and hella attention/touch-starved, o/c just misses her bby fr, daddy kink, major impreg kink, foreplay, they get all sentimental n mushy gushy at the end agghhh, aftercare bc koo is the literal definition of the perfect husband ^_^ wc ◞⁺⊹ 4.6k

音楽 — eyes locked, hands locked by rv

i’m vv excited to be back and writing again, i missed it sm ;(( i did this poll i few days ago and this idea won but i’ve decided to write them all so this is the first of three !! (〃ﾉωﾉ)ﾟ+°

summer days grew humid, each was hotter than the last. though it isn’t your least favorite season, you prefer to spend most of your time indoors as the heat often makes you feel faint and the air can be suffocating. usually these lazy, torrid afternoons were shared with your lovely husband, either you two would be laid up on the sofa or in bed watching your favorite shows/movies but today went a little off schedule.

you were all alone in your bedroom, feeling a bit sulky as your husband wasn’t around to tend to your needs or give you any affection. it’s not jungkook’s fault though; he’s been toiled away since this morning, offering to help your parents move and rearrange some of the new furniture that arrived today. you decided to stay at your family beach house this summer for a change of scenery, you hadn’t been here since you were seventeen, let alone seen your parents in person since last year. spending some quality time together has been long overdue and you couldn’t be any happier about it.

both your parents absolutely adore jungkook, they thought he was the sweetest, kindest, most generous person they’ve ever met— which says a lot considering they’ve never been a fan of anyone you dated previously. when you introduced him to them a few years ago, they had slightly pre-judged him based off his outward appearance, assuming that he wouldn’t be the type to take relationships seriously or even want to settle down and get married someday. but not even hours later their perceptions of him changed drastically, your parents could tell that he was a genuine soul who loved you unconditionally and would do absolutely anything for you.

that very same day, your mom spoke with you privately to express her virtuous first impressions, saying how much she loves him already and this is who you should’ve been dating from the start. your parents had extremely high standards for your future partner, especially your mom— but jungkook exceeded every single one of their expectations, checking all the boxes off their list. “i can tell just by the glint in his eyes whenever he looks at you… he’s more than in love, he’s infatuated. the way he talks about you as if you’re the most wonderful thing to have ever came into his life— he’s definitely going to be the one you’ll marry.” your mom gets all teary eyed as she spoke those last few words, picturing her one and only daughter all grown up, in a beautiful wedding dress, finally getting to see you live your happily ever after.

not even a couple months after graduating from uni you got engaged to the love of your life, proudly getting your degree you worked your ass off for and becoming a soon to be wife. you had to move across the country for a job offer of a lifetime but it was worth it, jungkook was beyond supportive in any decision you made and was there with you every step of the way, holding your hand through it all.

shortly after moving, you two got married and the rest was history, it was stressful dealing with so many life changing events all within a span of such a short time but you somehow managed. had it not been for jungkook’s constant encouragement and willingness to work/talk things out, you would’ve been a complete trainwreck. he was the balance you needed to keep yourself afloat, you felt so lucky, more than blessed to have a caring, understanding man like him.

the more you daydream about him, the more you wished he was holding you right now. you’re feeling lonely, so empty, and a little sad, his absence fills your mind with restless thoughts, hoping that he’ll come to your rescue soon enough. before jungkook, you were highly independent, never needed anyone to take care of you because you did everything for yourself; he never gave up on gaining your trust and has shown time and time again how dependable he is. you’ll forever admire how much effort he’s put into getting to know you over the years, that no one’s ever came close to making you feel the way he does— so high as if you’re soaring through the sky, living in heaven on earth.

he was the main provider of the household, you didn’t have to worry about anything nor lift a finger, all you did was focus on your career. you had a worry free lifestyle, the perfect job, perfect husband, what was there to possibly complain about? most aren’t so fortunate to be in your position so you never took any of it for granted. you love him more than anything in this world, you couldn’t stand to be away from him for another minute, you miss your hubby so much :( you craved his presence near you, needing him around you physically, wanting his soothing touch to ease your mind.

you wanna feel his sunkissed skin against yours, his warmth, the way his scent clouds your senses as he trails kisses down the curve of your neck, tangling your fingers in his dark, wispy hair. you want to lay your head on his broadened chest while snuggling up into him, hearing the gentle sounds of his heartbeat, intertwining your small hands with his large ones. you desire for him to kiss you everywhere, leaving no surface of you going untouched, pinning your body down between him and the mattress, like a flower pressed into the pages of a book and all that’s written is his name over and over. so many different scenarios play in your head as a means to pass the time, but they can only keep you sane for so long.

you’ve grown desperate for him at this point, finally coming out of your room to see what he might be up to now, searching the entirety of the house. you ended up finding him downstairs in the living room with your mom right beside as verbal assistance, not only did he lift and move most of the furniture but now he’s helping to mount up the new TV without even breaking a sweat in the process. was there anything he couldn’t do? probably not, he was a man of endless talents. your dad was sent out to go grocery shopping so your husband was pretty much doing everything on his own while your mom simply watches in amusement.

she was yet again impressed by your husband’s handy work, “wow jungkook, you’re really strong!” he was indeed. now you’re getting flashbacks to when he’d manhandle you and lift your body with ease in one swift motion to switch positions. his hands needed to be all over you right this second or else you’ll simply die of attention starvation. “mom, are you gonna keep him busy all day? ‘m getting really boreddd.” you childishly whine as if you weren’t a fully grown, married adult. to be fair though, it’s been hours since you’ve seen him and as much as you wanted to give him some space to help out around the house, you still had your needs to. the need in question being him in your bed, immediately.

“why don’t you go sit by the pool or something? you’ve been cooped up in that room since this morning, get some fresh air!” your mom suggests an alternative to wait but you shook your head in an instant, “nuh uh, too hot, i’ll melt like an ice cream cone!” you’d rather stay locked inside your air conditioned room than having to deal with the searing hot sun baking you well done at 450 degrees. “i’m almost done sweetheart, promise.” jungkook quickly reassures before hammering one of the nails into the wall, the way his veins would protrude through his arms as he repeats the action made you mindlessly clench your thighs together. he could make anything look insanely hot, it was almost unfair.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

after another twenty minutes or so he was finally done and now free to go, thrilled to have him all to yourself once again. you practically yanked his arm off as you led him up the staircase but your mom had one more thing to say, “will you be helping us tonight with dinner? i’m making your favorite!” he turns for a second to answer, “uh- yes of course !” that enthusiastic, bunny-like smile of his that you’ve grown to love for so long never fails to make you melt, just so effortlessly pretty without even trying.

but now you realize that you only have a limited amount of time with him, great… you’ll have to wait even longer to have him exactly as you’ve imagined. there’s only so much pent up sexual frustration you can take, you’ve been patient for almost eight hours. that’s probably the longest you two might’ve gone without having sex— okay maybe that’s an exaggeration but you do have a very active sex life with your husband, you try to do it at least twice a day and if you’re both feeling a little friskier it can sometimes go up to 4-5 times~.

your sex drive used to be quite low, never really seeing it as a huge necessity for you— until you met jungkook, of course. there was an immediate sexual attraction that you felt towards him, you’ve never felt so drawn to anyone before, he was irresistible. you’ve had some internal issues with your performance in the bedroom, it took a lot for you to reach your peak but could never get yourself to finish (unless you did it yourself) but with jungkook? that’s a whole different ballgame. you could simply cream in your panties just from kissing those luscious lips of his, he ignites a fire in you that’ll never wither into ashes.

once the door to your room was closed, both his hands found purchase around your waist, caging you into him and pulling you in for a deep kiss, melting right into his hold. your bodies flowing with pure lust and greed for him, not even thinking twice as your hand travels down lower to palm him through his sweats. he let out a breathy chuckle from your sudden actions once he pulled away, “someone’s feelin’ kinda slutty tonight.” he teased, which you took no offense since that’s just your collective humor.

“mhmm, ‘m only the biggest slut for you. now stop neglecting your wifey and gimme all your love.” since he hasn’t been giving you much attention all day you were acting a bit whiny about it, jungkook didn’t like that word though, neglect? that just wasn’t something in his vocabulary when it came to you. “huh? don’t ever say that again, you know i’d never purposefully neglect you, ever.” he made sure to emphasize that, he knows you weren’t being serious but it does hurt a little to know you may secretly feel this way. he loves you and you can feel it without him even needing to say it, that’s how intense it is.

“it was just a joke koo… didn’t mean it like that.” you jut your lip into a tiny pout, leaning in to kiss him again but he turns away, denying you the void of what you wanted most. “a joke is supposed to be funny last time i checked.” he retorts before sneaking off to make a beeline towards the bed, confused when you don’t follow suit after him. “what’re you standing there for? get your little butt over here.” he impatiently demands, patting his lap for you to sit on top. you listen and make your way over to him, straddling his lap with both legs on either side of him as he brings you in closer. he wraps his arms around your waist again, tightly holding you in his grasp, your frame sinks right into his chest.

he locks his lips with yours, kissing you slowly, taking his sweet, sweet time; what’s the rush? you had the rest of the night at your disposal. needy hips languidly rock back and forth against his semi hard-on, the fabric of the pajamas shorts you wore were so thin you could feel his cock throbbing underneath. you audibly gasped when he brushes up against your weak spot, it feels amazing, your panties turned into a sticky puddle from the pleasure; moaning into the kiss as he inhales your sighs. you were more than hungry for him, you were ravenous— only the taste of him could quench your avid thirst. you’re already as close as you can be but you wish to be even closer, if it was impossible you’d crawl into his skin and fuse your bones together to become one, you’re so in love it sickens you.

“need you to touch me,” you whimper for more when his lips drew from yours momentarily, “please.”

jungkook loves seeing you like this, his pretty wife acting all hot and bothered just for him, but he’d lying if he said it wasn’t the same way for you too. “where baby ?” his warm breath against you leaves a shiver to your spine, his voice low and raspy. “everywhere.” you beg in desperation, “just wanna to feel you, need you so bad…” you continued to grind your core onto his clothed erection, becoming even whinier as time passes.

he smirks at that answer, knowing that he’s the only one that can have you in this way. “need you too baby,” his tone is nothing short of a whisper, lazily rutting his hips up to match the pace of your movement, “been thinkin’ about you all day, can’t wait to fuck this little pussy.” his middle and index finds your clit to rub through your pajamas, making you bite your lip so hard it’ll leave a bruise. you’re both so horny and desperate for each other like some hormonal teens, you’re about to explode from how sensitive you are, your whole body feels tingly.

“jungkook!” a familiar voice shouts from a distance, it was muffled but you know that was definitely your mom who just called for him. “come back downstairs, i think something’s wrong with the remote, it’s not working— help !” she sounded a bit overdramatic which is how she usually is most of the time. you groan in annoyance, getting even more frustrated that you had to stop, all you want is some private alone time with your husband but no, the universe said not today! you really wanna curse your mom for being a total cock block right now .. -_-

๑ ๑ ๑

“i’m gonna put a baby in you someday.” your husband casually says while rubbing your stomach, his inked skin splayed across your bare form. “in this cute little tummy right here.” he points near your belly button, planting a small kiss to it. you two were finally alone once again and this time it was for good. after jungkook helped your mom figure out what was wrong with the remote (it wasn’t broken, she just forgot to put a new set of batteries in) and ate dinner with you and your parents, the night was bound to end like this.

this isn’t the first time he’s said something like this and it surely won’t be the last, but you burst into a giggle, “quit kidding around kook.” he’s always playing around but you can count on one hand how many times he’s actually finished inside you, since you’re not on birth control for health reasons you have to be extra careful to not end up getting pregnant. there’s been a handful of times where he’s had to run to the store and get you a morning after pill which you’d just hope for the best and leave it up to the universe. you have noticed that jungkook has been more vocal about wanting children lately, so maybe he’s hinting at finally taking the next step.

“and if i told you i wasn’t?” he shifts slightly, eyes flickering up to stare into your gaze. “would you let me paint your walls ? give you a baby so i can see my stunning wife bear our children?” the thought of you carrying his child pops into his head a lot, probably on an hourly basis— he’s more than ready to start a family, but he’s still not sure where you stand 100% on the idea. there was no pressure on his side, but it’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page.

your hands snake up to his chin, cupping it firmly, ready to make the final say once and for all. “yes koo, i’ll let you do anything to me. i trust you, i trust us.” that’s all you need to withstand through any obstacle(s), trust and trust alone. if that doesn’t exist, the foundation will be sure to crumble— disintegrating into nothing. you’ve never trusted someone as much as you do jungkook, he’s the reason you even get out of bed at times, makes you want to push yourself to become a better person. real love is the refusal to never give up on one another, even through the toughest, most ugliest moments.

what you’ve come to realize is that you have all of him and everything he’s promised to provide is all yours; his heart, his last name, his vow to stay by your side forever— through sickness and health. he’s given every single aspect of himself he has to offer, the only thing left that’s missing is a tiny addition that carries both you and jungkook’s DNA. you’re more than curious to see what the outcome will be, harboring no regrets inside. jungkook’s smile grew wider, feeling faint tears rim his eyes at the thought of you putting all your trust in him. you have no idea just how much that means to him.

his head lowers back to your torso, imprinting a trail of kisses, slowly making his way down further and further. your skin feels as if it’s on fire, boiling hot like the scorching summer heat. he took an ample amount of time to worship your body, leaving wet kisses to your inner thighs, “i’ve wanted this for so long…” he hums against your flesh, insides buzzing with raw passion and desire. “want to finally do this together.” he gently nibbles, a faint bite mark appears to which he repeats on the other side. “your tits are gonna get even bigger, more plump and so full of milk,” he continues, elated with so much enthusiasm, “that pregnancy glow will make you even more gorgeous.” he wasn’t saying all of this for nothing, he truly cannot wait to experience it all, how your belly will grow each month, all the random/weird food cravings you’ll get, and gracefully handle any sudden mood swings.

you were aching for him, you couldn’t even answer back, your heads reeling with too many thoughts— the thought of him stuffing you to the brim with his cock. you were topless but wanted him to take off the rest, wanted him to fuck you until your body physically shakes and you can’t think of anything but him being buried balls deep into your sousing cunt. you had to savour every last bit of this though, etch every little detail in your brain to replay as a supercut one day; remembering the time you two made love to conceive your first child.

jungkook’s slender digits move skillfully to hook around the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down along with your drenched panties. “it’s crazy to me how this is all mine,” he pauses to admire your glistening arousal, scooping it up with his one of his fingers to have a quick taste. saccharine. “i have the prettiest, sexiest, hottest wife in the whole fucking world.” he’ll never not compliment you, even when you’re old and gray he will always remain the same. “stopp~” you toy with your bottom lip, cheeks turning rosy at his constant sweet talk. then you become a pile of mush, simply too absorbed with pleasure as he sunk one of his digits into you, thrusting in and out slowly. “fuck.. feels s’good- please don’t stop.” you beg for this to never end, bidding all concept of time to vanish in hopes of it lasting infinitely.

“we’re going to create the most beautiful family,” he coos, licking a stripe to your clit, swiping up and down as he continued pumping his fingers in your wetness, “just you and me.” he only came up for air to say those last few lines, diving right back in to drink up your deliciousness. his tongue adds light pressure to your overly sensitive bud, making you twitch and subconsciously jolt up— his free hand forcibly brings your hips back down, locking you in place so you have nowhere to go— forced to take all that he gives you. paradise. that’s what this is. you’re already close to the edge, the broken moans that escaped your lips are like a soft ballad to his ears, cursing under your breath, panting, crying out his name repeatedly.

“ah! s’close… don’t stop, don’t stop..” you plea so pathetically, voice getting shakier as you reach your climax, his face was soaked, fucking drenched. he’ll willingly drown, submerge himself into the flood of you, no other place he’d rather be than between these perfect, plush thighs. he drives you into further insanity when his pace drew more rapid, finding the ultimate sweet spot. the lethal combination of his fingers and his tongue working to give you a mind blowing orgasm, all you could do was utter feeble, plaintive cries, latching onto his fluffy hair as you ride out your sudden high that’s stampeding into you full force. your body goes inert, limbs pliant beneath his embrace. “you did so good for me angel, m’so proud of you.” jungkook briefly pecks both your thighs, giving it a little smack once he comes back up to face you again.

he quickly discards the rest of his clothes, but everything’s moving in slow motion. his movements are frantic yet it still wasn’t quick enough, he needs to feel you so badly. his manhood throbs against your folds, sliding his shaft between the puffy, saturated lips, making such delightful sounds. “quit teasin’,” you whine, not in the mood for prolonging this anymore. he doesn’t say anything, just twisting a smile in response, but he’ll give you exactly what you want. who is he to deny his wife’s orders? so he finally enters you, filling you up little by little, inch by inch; and when he’s fully settled in, your walls clench around his length immediately. “never fails to amaze me how i fuck this little pussy on the daily but you’re still so fuckin’ tight… always squeezin’ me babe.” his breath hitched towards the end, already sounding so pussydrunk from the way you suck in the entirety of him.

your legs hook around each side of his waist, keening at the way his cock drives into you, slow but sensual, moving your hips to match his rhythm. “be good for daddy and wait for me. wanna cum together.” he husks, to which you obediently nod at his request. your jaw slacks open wide from his cock hitting your walls beautifully, each stroke he gave sent you to a further state of delirium. he picks up his speed a little more, his brain empty with no thoughts but this warm, dewy pussy swallowing him up, groaning as you leave scratches along his back. jungkook’s sweet compliments never stop, they only intensify. ‘you’re all mine, and i’m all yours baby’ ‘your face looks so pretty when it’s all fucked out’ ‘love fucking this perfect little cunt’ and ‘i love you so much, my angel baby.’ it brings you to the verge, strings of shattered moans evade your senses.

your hands greedily come up the sides of his face, pulling him in for a frenzied, yet passionate kiss caging him in just in case he has second thoughts, trapping him with no choice but to cum inside. “shit— keep going like that and you’re def getting pregnant tonight.” he groans against your lips, this only made you clench around him tighter, “please daddy- wan’ your cum, put your babies in me..” you want him to paint your walls white, milk him for all he’s worth and some. his strokes get sloppier as his high approaches, squeezing your thighs as he plunges deeper. it doesn’t take much longer for him to shoot a hefty in load inside, planting every bit of his seed as the waves of your second orgasm ripples through you. you’re both heavily panting and gasping for air, when he pulls out you’re left empty again, but at least you were stuffed with his hot cum. he looks down at the mess he’s made, sodden and creamy, picking up some that’s spilled out of your cunt to push back in. “we can’t let any go to waste, right ?” “mm… yea.” you bit your lip, still shaking, electricity flowing through your veins.

he topples over in exhaustion, way too tired to move. well, at least for now— he’ll be able to go again in another hour or so. “you’re going to be such an amazing mom,” he says while snuggling up in the crook of your neck, “remember the day i asked you out? i thought you were gonna say no.” that was random… but also jungkook is known for saying the most unexpected shit at the oddest times. “what ?” you were so confused, firstly this came out of nowhere but also why would he ever think that? it was basically love at first sight with each other. “wasn’t nearly as confident back then, i used to practice in the mirror how i’d do it.” he chuckles at those old memories, in hindsight none of it was necessary because he didn’t say any of the lines he rehearsed. defeated the whole purpose.

“since the day we first met i knew you were the girl i’d spend the rest of eternity with.” his fingers trace down your spine as he spoke, you’re so overfilled with joy that you could cry. you regret absolutely nothing, the only thing you do is all the other men who came before jungkook, all those losers who were wastes of time, but that journey has led you here and this is where you’ll stay for the rest of your life. it still feels like the honeymoon stage with him, a never ending blissful rollercoaster. “i want to sew all my love into you,” his hands danced around your skin, inhaling your natural scent, you feel so soft and smooth. “thread by thread, seam by seam, i’ll tether our intricate souls together.” you hummed to his words, he’s a romantic at heart just like you, he still writes occasional love letters to you and is always doing something to bring a smile to your face— whether it be coming home with your favorite candy, buying you flowers, or taking you out on cute, fun dates. every day is like a new surprise, never knowing what you’re gonna get when it comes to your husband’s spontaneity.

you’re both a little sticky, sweaty, and smell of nothing but pure sex. jungkook ends up carrying you all the way to the bathroom, deciding to run a nice, relaxing bath for the two of you. he adds your favorite lavender bubble bath, making the water extra bubbly and soapy for you which he knows you love. when you're both in the bathtub, your backs facing him as he uses a pink loofah to clean you up, embedding gentle kisses to the nape of your neck and shoulders as he does it. he held you for what seemed like forever, just admiring each other’s company while under the water, almost falling asleep right in his arms.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

let’s make the circle

that’s inside of us.

every day it rotates like that,

color me ☆ 彡

am trying to write longer stufff, i enjoyed writing this story a lot, lmk what you think . ! ! !

to see more chaos click here (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ♡♡♡ (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

#jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook x reader #bts smut #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jjk smut #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fic

[sansaorgana]

Bucky x reader where they get reunited after he gets back home, Mabye a very sappy and fluff and him getting back into demestic like w his girl and Mabye she’s like a clothing maker or m clothing mender/ tailor and that’s how she stay afloat while he’s gone and had no idea she was able to create things like that.

hi, babe! 💕 this is my first Bucky request – I believe I have at least one more in my inbox – and as I have promised, I gave it a chance to write for him 😅 I hope it's good enough because it felt totally different to write for him than for Buck lol 😁

Bucky was a never ending trouble in the best meaning of this word. He was loud, funny, playful, teasing and full of energy. Life with him was a rollercoaster you never wanted to get out of. When he went to Europe, it was as if he had taken all your sunshine and happiness with him.

The days were long and grey – boring. It was all about going to work and coming back home to listen to the radio and read all the letters you had received from your fiancé. That was for a few first months but then you found a hobby.

It had started with looking at the magazines and wanting those colourful dresses and skirts they had there but you couldn’t afford them. So you had bought a fabric and dug out your mother’s old sewing machine from the attic. Using her old books about making clothes on your own, you had managed to create your first floral skirt. Your very first rush of dopamine and colour after Bucky’s departure.

When your neighbours had noticed your skirts and dresses, they wanted them, too. It had quickly become your additional source of money, but most importantly – it was grounding you. You had spent endless nights listening to the radio and working on the fabrics, humming to yourself and trying to stay hopeful instead of constantly worrying about Bucky. You would go to sleep so tired that you couldn’t even stare at the ceiling and be anxious about his life. Sometimes it had been making you feel guilty that you were distracting yourself so much when he was a prisoner in some camp an ocean away from you… But you wanted to remain being yourself as much as you could. You didn’t want him to be greeted back home with the shadow of a woman he had once known.

Seeing him again felt odd. For a short while you hesitated from running into his arms and just stared at him as if he was a ghost. It was Bucky who ran up to you and picked you up to spin you around with that wide grin of his. You cupped his cheeks and smiled back, leaning in to rub your noses together and then join your lips in a sweet kiss. His moustache tickled your face as you wrinkled your nose with a giggle.

“My sweet girl,” he greeted you. “Sorry for being late. They didn’t want to let me go,” he made a joke as usual.

“Oh, how I missed you, John,” you kissed him again and he put you down on the ground.

“I see you’re all dolled up for me,” he pointed out and your eyes sparkled at that comment. You liked it when he was giving you compliments like that, it was making you feel confident and seen.

“Well, I tried,” you smiled.

“Where did you get a dress like that?” He asked, looking you up and down in a manner that brought heat to your cheeks. You already knew what he was thinking about.

“I made it,” you shrugged your arms and walked inside the house. 

“What do you mean you made it? You can create such things with those pretty little hands?” He was visibly impressed.

“Yes, I can show you after dinner,” you nodded at him.

After dinner, you brought all the dirty dishes to the kitchen and let them soak in the water before taking your apron off and joining Bucky in the living room. He was walking around and looking at the pictures of you two that you had on display.

“I liked to have you around,” you told him as you leant on the doorway. “A reminder that my boyfriend was not made up.”

“It feels so odd to be here,” he admitted and you smiled sadly at him. “Are you sure you want me to move in? I can rent a room in town.”

“I want you here with me,” you assured him.

“People will talk,” he pointed out. You knew that he didn’t worry about his reputation at all. But he worried about yours. You were always his first choice and his most important person. Alongside his best friend Buck.

“To the hell with them,” you rolled your eyes and he chuckled before approaching you and placing kisses all over your face.

“That’s the spirit. That’s my girl,” he teased. “I’m gonna marry you soon anyway and fill this house with a bunch of little babies. Daughters as beautiful and sons as smart as their mother,” he booped you on the nose.

“Girls can be smart, too,” you reminded him. “And boys can be beautiful,” you caressed his cheek.

“Yes, yes, of course… Now, show me the dresses?”

You nodded with a smile and held his hand to lead him upstairs.

“It’s not only dresses, you know… Skirts, too. A few blouses. I dug out my mum’s old sewing machine and started to make them. Half of the street wears them now. I earned quite a lot,” you admitted and Bucky whistled in admiration.

You opened the door to your bedroom. The sewing machine was standing by the window where the vanity table had once been. And on the chair next to it there were many colourful fabrics.

“Will you make something for me, too?” Bucky touched the fabrics delicately with his fingertips.

“I can surely try,” you chuckled. “But I will have to buy a new fabric.”

“No, no, look,” he pointed at the material with flowers, “a shirt like this,” he said and you laughed. “I’m being serious,” he winked at you. “I’d wear that. And I’d proudly say my wife made it when people asked or laughed.”

“Well, alright then, I’ll make you one like this but if you don’t wear it, I will never make anything else for you ever again,” you stuck your tongue out.

“Fine,” he stuck out his, too and you both laughed.

Bucky turned his back on you to keep admiring the fabrics and the neatly folded dresses and skirts inside your half-open wardrobe and you bit on your lower lip, trying not to make a sound as you felt the tears streaming down your cheeks. You didn’t want to alarm him and to worry him, so you tried to hide your emotional reaction but eventually, you let out a sob and hid your face in your hands.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Bucky turned around and approached you quickly to put his arms around you. You shook your head, refusing to speak. “Sweetheart, talk to me.”

“It’s just… It’s just… I’m so happy you’re back and I can joke around with you again and…” you looked up into his worried eyes. “And making these clothes… It was everything keeping me alive when you were away. It was the only thing that helped me to stay sane. And now… Now you’re back, you’re really back and I can’t believe how happy I am… All that tension is just… gone,” you sniffed your tears back.

“Hey, baby,” Bucky wiped your tears off of your cheeks gently. “You should have known I wouldn’t let them kill me, right? And that I’d come back to you. I was planning to escape every day, hell, I would have escaped a hundred times but Buck was stopping me from doing something stupid. And I am grateful because in the end I am here with you. I just wish I could have been calling you from there to hear your sweet voice, to let you know I was okay. I hated to think how worried you had to be, little one,” he cupped your face and pulled you closer. You hugged him and rested your head on his chest. Bucky kissed your forehead and rubbed your back.

“I want to show you something else,” you whispered after a while and he nodded silently, still looking at you with worried eyes.

You approached the wardrobe and stood on a stool. Bucky followed you and stood behind you to make sure to catch you if you would fall down. You reached out to the top shelf and brought down a box. You put it on the bed and opened it, shyly looking at your fiancé.

He looked inside and widened his eyes at the sight of a collection of baby clothes.

“I made them for the future,” you told him quietly. “For our babies,” you added. “And I decided that if you don’t come back… I’d have them burnt. Even if I married someone else and had children with him, they wouldn’t be our babies. So, yeah… I was making them some nights, smiling to myself, hoping that some higher power sees that and thinks that now they just have to spare you,” you confessed.

“They’re beautiful,” Bucky picked up one of them and smiled widely. “I think they are my favourite creations of yours,” he admitted and you laughed through the tears.

“Thank you.”

Bucky put the clothes back into the box carefully and then he moved the box away to remove it from the bed completely.

“We should get to work then,” he winked at you and you furrowed your brows at those words but after a while you realised what he had meant.

“Oh, no, no, no, don’t you dare, Major Egan!” You giggled. “People will talk enough already about the two of us! For that we will wait until the wedding.”

“Let’s get married tomorrow then,” he grinned at you.

“You can’t be serious,” you sighed.

“Why not?”

“Because… I won’t be able to make a wedding dress overnight. In three days,” you reached your hand out with a playful smile.

“Three days, let that be. A man can wait,” he shook your hand as if you just had made a business deal and then he pulled you back into his arms again.

MASTERLIST

#sansaorgana: Answered #john egan x reader #callum turner x reader #*bucky #lilysfiction #euryno-j47

[miracledarling]

if you feel stuck

intro

at some point, we may sometimes feel stuck when manifesting our desires. it sucks right bae?💔😞maybe we feel like giving up, or it wouldn't work for some reason. even after others succeed. maybe there is loss of hope. but the world is yours, remember? are you going to stay stuck and complain, or do you truly want your desires that you'd finally change yourself?

why we feel stuck

it sucks right? to read all these success stories and only wish to be the one writing them? to have tried all the techniques you seen on youtube, tiktok, tumblr, twitter, you name it. and still, you've been stuck in same place, same circumstances. only dreaming about your dream life. you're still the same, you didn't change yourself. you remained in square one because you didn't move. do you want it or not? do you have it or not? why are you complaining all day? who stopped you from getting what you want? who gives it to you in the first place? yourself.

how to get unstuck

before you continue, i need to remind you that it's no use to read through this post and then keep scrolling on tumblr without applying the law. because you'll just be trapped in the cycle. no matter how many posts you read, you aren't getting anywhere without applying.

work on self concept

the first thing you can do is to simply work on your self concept. why is self concept important? well self concept is the way you view yourself in the world. changing self concept changes you and everything about you. it changes what's around you. how you look, your abilities in manifesting, the way you're treated, etc. is self concept necessary? well no, you can manifest without doing it but self concept is very helpful to many. i'll make a self concept challenge soon but changing self concept is very easy. just become the desired version of yourself. you also do this by affirming self concept affirmations. you can also use different methods like visualising or sats but methods are optional of course.

take a break

another thing you could do is take short break from manifesting. sometimes we may experience burnout or feel exhausted and it's okay because wer're humans. so taking a break from manifesitng and taking your mind off of these worries can ease stress to help manifesting. but be sure to pick yourself back up afterwards and keep going.

keep persisting

sometimes our manifestation is right in front of us. we're so close and there is no reason to give up. perhaps it could happen if we just persisted for one more minute, so maybe you just need to keep going a little longer because it's working even if you don't quite expect it.

stop overconsuming, apply

seriously, take a moment to reflect on yourself. are you really applying? or are you just scrolling on tumblr again? did you really apply? did you actually even try or do you just affrim 5 times, check 3d, and read another blog post. overthink the law, get discouraged, complain about 3d. like stop right there, that isn't helping you. you should be applying, not reading all this stuff that you already know.

restart

i do not recommend doing this just because usually it would cause you to restart over and over again and repeat the cycle. however, if you've really been "manifesting" something for a long time and seeing nothing, then it may be time to compeltely restart. either revise it, or learn from the past mistake, and from now on apply the law. like actually apply. and do what works for you of course.

ending notes

remember that you create reality. it's the law of assumption. you're the only one who can change circumstance and you must make that decision. so take accountability, be disciplined, and reflect on yourself. don't look for success story for boost of dopamine. motivation don't help you until you truly apply. you must do before you feel motivated. applying comes before motivation. discipline is more important than motivation. ask yourself if you're applying, remind yourself you are limitless. all you gotta change is you 🤍

#loa #loassumption #law of assumption blog #law of attraction #law of assumption #lucky girl syndrome #neville goddard #manifesting tips #manifesting #manifestation #manifest #10k affirmations #affirm and persist #affirmations #sammy ingram #affirmdaily #self concept

[soapoet]

PJO pick-a-card reading

Luke Castellan; A message from above

Soapy scribbles: I opted to format this topic as generally as possible since we all hold various different beliefs. Whether this message comes from your spirit guides, angels, higher self, God, any deity, ancestor or passed loved ones, or anything beyond my comprehension, is for you alone to know based on how it resonates with you. I am just the messenger and it is no business of mine who your particular sender is.

01.

Shufflemancy: Travelling by James Spiteri

You're coming out of a period of stagnation. Either delays entirely out of your control, or the sheer lack of motivation has kept you at a stalemate unable to proceed with your plans. You have found comfort in distractions aplenty. A seemingly never-ending cycle of avoiding the next step because it appears so very daunting, then being overcome with guilt and shame, which you again run from, chasing anything and everything which would put these feelings at bay. Now the first step looks less frightening, and you may feel more motivated to journey onwards.

Growing pains may feature, but you are able to handle them well. You may feel inclined to keep secrets, especially regarding your endeavours. This will prove beneficial as it reduces pressure, you now have nobody to hold yourself accountable but you, and you avoid the urge to run away should anybody dare inquire about your progress. Push yourself forward, as unnerving as it may be. You will quickly notice how light you are on your feet and the distance you can go when harnessing the dopamine from simply overcoming this fear.

Do not be too hard on yourself or expect to run a marathon. A little progress is better than none, but do not use busy work as yet another distraction. You have great gifts and plenty to share with the world, and you are destined to inspire others with your achievements and your accolades. As much as you detest routine, try to keep even a small one. Do a little bit every day to inch yourself closer to your dreams. To avoid feelings of uncertainty and your fears of failure, set aside time to sit with yourself in silence and ask yourself why you want this, where it will lead, and why that is where you want to be and what you hope to achieve, the life you wish to lead and what legacy you wish you leave. Remind yourself of the answers to these questions whenever motivation begins to evade you on your journey.

Sometimes a writer can only muster a sentence, perhaps one they will later entirely eliminate, yet they did something. And sometimes all this writer can do is stare at the manuscript before them and give of themselves nothing. Yet they did something. They got up to look at it rather than wince across the room and refuse to rise to the occasion at all. Celebrate even your smallest victories and allow yourself a cheer when you muster even the slightest effort. Do not expect perfection of yourself and know that many before you had to go through trial and error, and learn and adapt along the way. That is perfectly okay and you do not need a doctorate straight out of the womb to be good enough.

02.

Shufflemancy: Kiss the rain by Yiruma

You must cease this pattern of giving up your energy so easily to so many who are not deserving of your time. When bad news arrive, it is fine to feel whichever way you feel, but anchoring your emotions to this negativity will suck you dry of the life force that you need to shine. You are allowed to have boundaries and you are encouraged to enforce them and guard them closely. Those who would trespass should know punishment swiftly. Do not tolerate things you do not tolerate truly. Do not quietly hope unfortunate things go away and that people notice your discomfort and stop what they're doing that is harming you.

Stand up for yourself and make your thoughts and feelings heard. It is also not your duty or responsibility to translate a simple no or a stop to people wilfully ignorant and always finding a justification for their words and actions. No is a full sentence. Anybody who fails to internalize this fact and look in the mirror to reflect and to change any behaviour that's lead them to ignore this simple command is not a headache to take as yours. You should be unapologetic in your selfcare and demand space when you need it. Set aside your fears and shoo away any prowling feelings of shame and guilt. If you would be happier alone than in bad company, seek solitude and cut off what no longer serves you.

There are lessons some learn only upon a collapse. You may pray for a change of heart and hope for the sun to shine again, but you do not need to weather storms that are not yours to experience. You're not a bad person for stepping back and saying enough is enough in a situation that only causes you distress. Those who need help must want it and ask for it. You can promise to be there when they're ready and aid in their recovery, and still express to them the grief that they have caused you. Sometimes people need to be faced with the harsh truth. The pain and the agony and sleepless nights which they have brought upon you and others and be shown they could truly lose it all lest they stop and strive to do and be better.

If somebody truly needs help and you do not have the heart to abandon them, seek assistance. You need not be alone in a quest which requires more than you alone have to give. There are many sources of help and even more solutions once more hands are there to help, and you only have two and are allowed to seek extra pairs to aid you in this task. You are commended for your resilience and your kind heart. It may break and bleed often, and you must know that things will get better. These rough waters will calm soon enough and you will find peace.

03.

Shufflemancy: Ballerina by Yehezkel Raz

You don't need to run so fast. You have all the time in the world to make the changes that you want and need. Slow down and allow yourself to breathe. You have been much too hard on yourself and allowed everything outside of you to weigh you down. Shelf some burdens that were never yours to carry and make the choice to serve yourself for a change. Be gentle with yourself and listen to your own body and soul, and act according to that which is truly in your best interest. You are your own worst enemy when you let the beasts feed upon your negative self talk and your fixations on perceived failures.

Know that you have no more need for tips and tricks and new methods to your madness. You already have everything that you need, and no tool beyond your own consciousness is required. You could paint cathedral ceilings with just your imagination, so cease your struggle and let yourself be carried by the stream. Do not waver in your convictions, and do not let doubt lead you astray. Stick to what you know in your heart to be true and cast away every inkling of worry and fear.

You need to learn to let life happen to you rather than holding the reins so tightly you vitiate the opportunity to experience the present moment altogether. The present is all we really have, so try your best to cling neither to the past or the future. We all have regrets behind us, and wishes for the future, but it is the present moment which we truly have control over and get to experience.

Let go of any unhealthy dependencies you may have allowed to take root in your garden. Whether this is a person, a habit, or a situation, if it isn't doing you any good in the long-term, do your best to weed it out so that more energy may be received by the things you do wish to grow and nurture. If you feel unqualified to tackle some of this gardening, do not hesitate to ask for help and guidance from gentle people who will understand how delicate some situations may be. You do not need to tolerate fear mongering or unnecessary pressure, time constraints or misplaced ultimatums. Be direct with what you need and the tone and feel you wish to engage in so that you do not end up feeling cornered and threatened so much that you refuse any help at all in favour of protecting yourself from harsh criticism and judgement.

#pac reading #pick a card reading #luke castellan #pjo #energy reading #intuitive reading #percy jackson and the olympians #pac #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #tarot reading #tarotblr #soapy.post

[potatocitytechnology]

The Black Cat - N.YT

Kinktober Day 3

Shibari: Shibari, which translates to "decorative tying," is a form of rope bondage that originated in Japan and dates back to the seventeenth-century Edo period. Shibari involves rope made from jute or hemp and is considered an aesthetically pleasing form of BDSM.

INTRO: For the first time in your life you found something that made you feel alive and beautiful. Then you and your boyfriend broke up. Little did you know meeting Yuta would be the best thing for you and your obsession.

GENRES: Smut

PAIRING: reader (afab) x softdom!yuta

WARNINGS: profanity/swearing, rope bondage/shibari, extensive use of ropes, temperature play, blindfolding, gagging, use of a vibrating toy, a little humiliation and degradation, oral (F), crying (F), slight suspension, mentions of full suspension, reader has a rope kink?, softdom!yuta, bdsm themes - overall explicit content - PLEASE, DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG OR POST IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE. MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

WORD COUNT: 5.7k (shit.)

AUTHORS NOTE: Wow, this was not meant to be nearly 6k long... especially since i'm trying to keep all kintober works under 2k (˶ •́◡•̀ ˶) I ended up doing a decent amount of research into shibari and just couldn't keep it short (it needed a backstory!). i really wanting to write for it but i had absolutely no confidence in my ability to describe something so intricate and complicated. However, this is my interpretation of this kink with some other bdsm kinks thrown in to make it interesting. Anyways, enough of my rambling, enjoy! 𖦹 ̫ 𖦹

You met Yuta through a friend of a friend. To be honest you don’t know much about him, even after meeting up with him a few times to discuss your mutual… interests. You met up at normal places, coffee shops mostly, but this time was different. This time you were gonna do what you’d been planning all this time. 

The reason you heard of Yuta was because you were talking to your friend about why you keep going back to your ex. One of the main reasons was the sex. And trust, it wasn’t just sex. Your ex, Ethan, was into shibari. Something you never even knew about before you met him, but it quickly became your favourite obsession. 

There’s just something about the feeling you get when you're tied up, all pretty and captive. The dopamine that courses through your veins is pure addiction and the stress leaves your body immediately. Ethan made you depend on him even after you’re broken up, it being second nature to call him up when you needed your fix. You hate how much you need it. 

Yuta became relevant when your friend said she knew an old friend from Uni who was into shibari, too. She offered to get in contact with her again and ask if you and she could meet up. You were eager to say the least, not having met anyone else with the same kink aside from Ethan and you would do anything to not have to go to him anymore. 

Luckily, her friend agreed and that’s when you met up with her. Lucy is a very funny and warm hearted person. She was incredibly happy to help you learn more about rope bondage and introduce you to more people through parties and clubs. 

On one of those nights was when you first saw Yuta. However, you could say he saw you first judging by the way he stared at you for a good hour before you locked eyes with him from across the room. It was an instant attraction, your breath catching in your throat as you looked him up and down. 

He then walked over to where you and Lucy were talking with some of your new friends, an extra drink appearing in his left hand. His dark hair covered his forehead, dipping just past his brow bone. Eyes twinkling, lips full and plump as they turn into a smile. 

When he reaches you and your friends, his gaze linger on you as he introduces himself to everyone, leaving you for last. “Hi, I’m Yuta.” it’s simple the way he says it, but you can’t help but feel there’s something lying beneath it. You pay it no mind, however, introducing yourself to him. People around you start mumbling, even those caught up in… introductions, stop their activities to peer at your group. 

You can’t help but to feel shy, their unwanted attention making your eyes cast down as you try to become as unnoticeable as possible. Yuta leans in closer to you, “Don’t mind them.” And that’s when you knew he was the one you wanted to do it with. There was something about him that made you feel like he was safe and knew what he was doing. 

On the cab back to Lucy’s place she turns to you as soon as the doors shut. “Oh my god, y/n, you don’t know how big that just was.” her tone is one of disbelief and excitement but you’re absolutely confused. “What do you mean?” 

She grabs your wrist, “Yuta Nakamoto, the one who had his eyes glued to you?” you nod your head, unsure why she’s asking you a question about a guy you met two hours ago. How're you supposed to know who he is? Her eyes widened, “shit, I never told you about Yuta.” she sits back in thought and you begin to panic. Well that was ominous, what the fuck is it supposed to mean? Sure doesn’t sound good. 

She angles her face back, ready to explain while your mind reels thinking you’ve met someone who’s way past your level of expertise. “Yuta doesn’t take interest in a lot of people.” is all she says before pausing again. A frustrated look passes your face, “Lucy, what the hell is with this guy?” She nods her head. 

“Don’t worry, he can’t be bad for you.” She concludes and you give her a very unimpressed look. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She lifts her shoulders, as if in some sort of defeat. “Well, I’ll put it like this,” her eyes pierce yours with a slight look of worry passing through them. “Who better to teach you the art of Japanese rope bondage than Yuta Nakamoto?” 

After that you were cautious, how could you not be? But when Yuta, somehow, got ahold of your number and invited you out for coffee, you didn’t have it in you to say no. From there you learnt what his intentions were with you. He wanted you to be his next ‘muse’. Yuta said he only picks a select few people to teach and participate in his activities, and he wanted you. 

You were hesitant, but your need to be tied surpassed your fear of the unknown. When you were discussing your inexperience with Yuta and his with you, it came up. The fact that you would do almost anything to feel the weight of rope on your skin. Yuta’s reaction was a slow nod, but you saw the look that passed through his irises. It was lust, laced with approval and it made you feel proud. 

After these few meetups, you began to be much more confident around Yuta, unafraid to say the things you wanted and him the same with you. On your last meetup, Yuta asked the question you knew was coming; “Do you want to actually do it next time?” You gulp, a lump forming in your throat. “Of course.” You nod, your eyes reassuring him that you want to do this. Besides, you refused to see Ethan for over three weeks while you’ve been talking to Yuta, and you need this. He smiles, his approval making you happy. 

That brings you to the present moment. You stand outside the address Yuta gave you to meet at. It seems like some sort of club, you think as you observe the outside of the building. Big, bold letters read on the front, ‘The Black Cat”. Spooky, you think to yourself before double checking the address, pulling your coat closer to your shivering body. 

Confirming it is the place, you tame your wildly beating heart by taking in deep breaths as you walk up to the entrance. Your stilettos click on the pavement as you do, and you can’t help but feel overdressed and underdressed at the same time. Not to mention cold, the chilly Autumn air biting at your skin. 

You hear the thumping of slow and sensual RnB resonating from within the building as you get closer, eventually only a foot from the door. Thoughts of regret rush through your mind. What the hell are you doing here? This isn’t you.

Before you get the chance to turn and hurry back to your car, a throuple pushes through the doors, startling you, as they giggle and laugh. The two girls sloppily lie kisses on the guys neck and face as they disappear into the night and you’re envious. They look like they’re having pure, carefree fun. You want that too, and right now your key to that life is waiting for you inside this building. 

Holding your breath, you push through the doors into the warm and sensual atmosphere of the club. Your eyes are greeted with dark furniture and bodies moving together as everyone minds their own business with the people they’re with. You try not to show your shock, as you walk past couches and tables where people are kissing and groping, making your way to the bar at the far end of the room. 

You grasp the surface of the bar with both hands as you roll into it. The air feels heavy in your lungs as the bartender comes over to you. “Need anything, love?” He asks, a heavy English accent lacing his voice. You go to shake your head before someone calls from behind you, “A cosmopolitan for the lady, thanks.” 

You turn around, hoping to see Yuta but instead it’s some other guy. His shirt is off, which isn’t surprising, though it’s not the way you’d introduce yourself to someone. He takes a seat beside you as you prop yourself onto the bar stool. “What’re you doing here, pretty?” He asks, a slur in his voice indicating he’s had a lot to drink. 

“Waiting for someone.” you reply, a coldness lingering in your tone. He either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care because he keeps talking. “You sure? Don’t see anyone running to claim you.” His voice is suggestive and you start to feel slimy while he eyes you up. You only hum in response, hoping he gets the hint to fuck off. 

“Pretty things that don’t get claimed around here, are taken by others.” He says, obviously thinking that you’ll jump into his arms if Yuta doesn’t show up. Luckily, you don’t have to reply as the bartender steps in, “Piss off, Tyler. She’s with Yuta.” his tone is low, like a warning and you begin to wonder just how much power Yuta has within these communities. 

“Like I give a fuck if she’s Yuta’s or not.” He laughs, swinging an arm around your shoulder and you grimace, the smell of sweat and alcohol radiating from him. “You should be.” The bartender replies, who’s name tag reads, Jordan.

The guy harassing you, Tyler laughs louder and more obnoxiously. “And where is big bad Yuta, right now, huh?” You scowl, as he shakes around you. You honestly feel like you could punch him at any second. 

Thankfully, you won’t have to, as an angry sounding voice emits from behind you and Tyler. “Get your hands off of her, Tyler, or I swear to god you’ll loose them.” It sends shivers up your spine and you smirk as it clearly scares the absolute shit out of Tyler. His arm quickly leaves your shoulders as he whips around, his arms in the air in mock surrender. 

“H-Hey man, I was just kidding. No hard feelings.” he stutters, every ounce of his confidence leaving his body as Yuta watches him with stalking eyes. “If you touch her again-” he begins to threaten, but catches the look of fear and uncertainty flash through your eyes and stops himself. He takes a deep breath, “You are never to be anywhere near her again, do you understand?” 

Tyler nods and disappears as fast as he appeared. Yuta gives an appreciative nod to Jordan, the bartender, before grabbing your hand. Tingles shoot up your fingertips as he gently tugs you behind him. “Let’s go somewhere quiet.” you nod in response, trailing after him as he leads you down a long, dark hallway beside the bar. 

You pass doors, each of which have names on them, like offices. Except you know they’re probably not offices. At least not in the traditional sense. He stops close to the end of the hallway when he pulls out a key. You’ve stopped in front of the door labelled, Yuta.N. He gestures with a smile for you to go in first as he cracks open the door. 

You walk in, one hesitant step after the other as he follows you quietly. You’re taking aback when your eyes adjust to the dark atmosphere of the room. The only light being some LED’s scattered around. A four poster bed acts as the centrepiece of the room, and god does it attract your eyes. What catches your attention the most are the hardpoints attached to the posts all around and above the bed, not to mention other odd ones in different corners of the room. 

“They’re for suspension.” Yuta says softly from behind you, patiently letting you take in everything you need to. You nod in reply, casting your eyes to the ones above the couch and the bed to the few that’re just in the middle of the room. It’s daunting you can’t lie. 

There’s a dark chest that is situated near the couch and you can only imagine what’s inside it. This is some fucking fifty shades of grey shit, you think to yourself, a laugh of disbelief almost leaving your mouth. 

“You okay?” He asks, his voice still timid. Truth be told, Yuta's nervous about how you’ll react to everything. He knows you’ve never really delved into more accurate BDSM, and he wants nothing more than for you to want this. He’s been itching to get you into this room, all of his favourite things are in here and now you are too. 

“Yeah. It’s just a lot.” You mutter and Yuta nods even though you can’t see him. You turn around and he takes a moment to watch your expressions. “Just remember we’re not doing that tonight,” he lifts a hand to rub a thumb over your cheek and you sigh. “unless you want to.” he adds. “Okay.” you agree.

“Alright then, why don’t we get to the part you’ve been craving then?” He questions, and you nod your head. “y/n I really want you to speak up and talk to me okay?” he asks and your eyes widen. “That might’ve been how you did it with your ex, but for this to work for us, we need to communicate.” 

He’s right, with Ethan communication wasn’t really a thought. Verbal conversation didn’t matter as long as he got what he wanted, and you obviously never picked up that that’s not how this is supposed to work. It’s refreshing to be doing this with someone who knows what he's doing and wants to make sure you’re okay with it every step of the way. 

Though, it does little to calm you on the fact that Yuta is much more experienced than you. The only person that you ever participated in rope bondage with was Ethan, and you never paired it with suspension. Despite the nerves you have to admit that the thought makes your pussy clench embarrassingly. 

“Yes, Yuta. I want you to tie me up.” you try to say with confidence, your eyes holding contact with him. He smiles, relief flooding you. “Perfect. Let’s begin then.” He clasps his hands together, guiding you by your elbow to the centre of the room. 

You’ve talked about how he would tie you up for the first time, but he still talks you through it as he begins by pulling a few bunches of hemp rope from the dark chest. He unravels the first bunch, laying it in his palms before gesturing to you. “Take off your clothes, y/n. Did you wear what I told you to?” Your breath hitches, as it actually dawns on you. You’re doing this, and by the look on Yuta’s face, you’re gonna love it. 

“Yes, I did.” you reply, surely removing your woollen trench coat. The material falls to the ground, you only being left in the black bondage harness and heels he sent to you. It seems that now you’re without the coat, you’re feeling hot but when it was the only thing covering you, you were cold. It’s strange how your body reacts to him, a practical stranger. 

“Good girl.” he purrs, looking you up and down. You shudder at the compliment, satisfied to have pleased him. He steps close to you, picking up the coat and gesturing for you to take of the heels. You do and he walkd to the corner of the room before placing them on the coat and shoe rack. Your eyes track him as he does and when he comes back to stand in front of you, you find yourself wanting to kiss him. Yet, it feels forbidden.

His breath falls on your lips as yours is held in your throat, not wanting to ruin the moment by breathing. “On your knees, now.” is all he says and you’re falling to the ground before the sentence is finished. When your knees meet the hardwood your eyes peer up at him through your lashes. He pulls the rope through his fist, your attention shifting to his hands. They’re large and veiny, and you want them on you but you sit quietly and wait for his request, eager to please. 

“We’re gonna start today with something simple and pretty.” he starts fighting the urge to coo at the way you look up at him. “Shibari is a form of decorative tying as you probably know, but it’s also used for pleasure. That’s what we’ll be doing too.” he explains and your head becomes light with the thought of the ropes wrapped around you, all pretty and confined. 

Now, my little rope bunny,” he says, a tinge of admiration following the pet name. “I’m going to first start by doing ‘shinju’, which is a traditional breast bondage technique.” he adds nonchalantly, and it sends more wetness to your pussy, a throbbing ache already burying itself deep in your abdomen and he hasn’t even touched you yet. 

You nod, a weak ‘uh huh’ leaving your lips. He grins, kneeling down to your level where he starts to gently glide the rope across your skin. An involuntary groan escapes you and Yuta freezes. “Jesus, never had anyone react that quick.” He mutters, more to himself than to you. You nod, deciding whether or not to just say what you want to, in the end you bite the bullet, wanting to see how he reacts. “Was wet before it even touched me.” You let out breathily. 

Your eyes close in bliss as he continues, making the first knot. You hear a curse slip from his lips and you internally smile in glee, glad you’re having an impact on him like he does on you. True to the name ‘shinju’ the rope goes around your waist, under your breasts before wrapping around your shoulder and beneath your armpit. Circling around your neck creating a halter. It then goes between your breasts before looping under the rope beneath them. Yuta takes his time with the rope, truly enjoying the art he’s making. Finally, the end of the rope is wrapped the whole way around both of your breasts, forcing them to bulge outwards. 

Your nipples perk towards him, his fingertips brushing them making you moan again. God, the feeling of the rope tight on your skin is alike to nothing else. The way you sense you’re constricted is blissful. Yuta watches the way you react like a hawk. No one he’s ever done this with has reacted like you do and it's fascinating.

Goosebumps follow every part of your skin he touches, the rope making you gasp and breathe heavier every time he places it across a bare area. When he ties each knot with careful precision, you can’t help the way you feel like a piece of art. 

When he finishes the ‘shinju’, he sits back on his heels, admiring his work. A smile graces his gorgeous face and you can’t help the way your face mirrors his. “How does that feel?” he asks, tugging at the knots to make sure they are all firm but not too constricting. 

“Feels good.” You reply, surprising you both as your voice is cracked and strained like you’re already wrecked. He nods, keeping an eye on you. “Do you want to try ‘koutou ushiro te shibari’? It’s just a hands behind the head tie.” You know you’ve hardly gone deep into what Yuta knows, really only skimming the easiest methods from his knowledge. It’s just the way he sounds so confident about these different ties. Ethan was never like that, always unsure of himself and constantly hurting you. 

You nod, a small noise of agreement leaving you. He strokes your cheek adoringly and you shift slightly on your knees, the rope around your breasts tightening eliciting a moan from between your lips. Yuta chuckles, “you really are enjoying this aren’t you, bunny?” The pet name causes you to only moan in response. 

He stands and walks behind you. “Hands above your head.” He instructs and you obey. He never has to ask twice with you and he loves it. Grabbing your wrists he wraps a new piece of rope around your left one a few times before pulling it tight and doing the same with the other wrist, effectively binding them together. 

You grunt as he pulls them firmly before looping around the connective piece of rope between your wrists. He then brings the ends down your spine till it reaches your waist. Wrapping his arms around you he curls it around your waist, making a pretty knot at the back that sits in the curve of your spine. 

“There.” he sighs, admiring the way your arms are now restricted, folded towards your neck. You whimper, the soft rope tight around your waist making you wiggle against the delicious pressure. “Ok bunny, how would you feel about being attached to that hardpoint there.” He points to the metal ring hanging above you and you nod, a sound of compliance coming from your chest. 

“Alright, stand up then.” He says watching to make sure you’re okay. Your knees wobble, weak from being on your knees for so long but you manage to stand in a stable position. Shibari is beautiful but all beautiful things take time. Yuta probably spent over 30 minutes tying these knots on you, each pretty piece of rope accentuating your body features. 

Yuta turns around, going back to the dark chest and pulling out a longer piece of rope. Reaching above you, he loops the rope through the ring. Pulling it down tight, he walks behind you and ties it to your arm tie. He laces it into the knots, focusing on making it museum worthy. 

This is part of the reason you love rope bondage. The attention to detail and goal of perfection makes you feel like a art piece to be worshipped, like the Mona Lisa. It’s also very intimate, the time you spend together, both parties enjoying their role. The last aspect you love is the build up to the intimate part. Sometimes it takes hours to tie someone how they want and it’s all so exhilarating. 

You gasp as Yuta pulls the rope tight, not quite suspending you but your feet are only just still on the ground. You whine in disappointment, wanting to be fully suspended. Yuta laughs, “there’s gonna be other times, bunny. We can work up to it.” he says, dragging a finger around your waist as he walks to your front. 

His fingers catch the rope around your waist, pulling you toward him, effectively lifting your toes from the ground. Your weight pulls down on your arms’ muscles, the burn delicious but not enough to sustain for more than a few seconds.  “See.” he whispers into your ear, sending a chill through your body. Yuta’s right, you need to get stronger to be able to hold your own weight comfortably.

“I’m not going to tie your legs today either, I don’t think you could handle it to be honest.” he smirks as your face twists. He turns to go somewhere behind you, not being able to see him you whine out loud. “Be patient, bunny.” he scoffs as you hear what you presume to be a fridge door open and shut. He rummages around with a few different things where you can’t see him before he comes into your vision again. 

On a small tray he has an assortment of objects. A dark blindfold sits neatly next to a ball gag and a small bowl of ice cubes. The last object on the tray is something you’ve never seen before, it's not large and sorta egg shaped. Seeing your confusion at the object, Yuta picks it up, showing you closer. “It’s a vibrating egg, this goes into your sweet little pussy.” 

You suck in a breath, an innocent ‘oh’ leaving your parted lips and it takes everything in him to not kiss you. That’s what the gag is for. He gets close to you, the ball gag in hand before he brings it to your lips. “Open.” he demands and of course, you comply. He places the ball part in your mouth, tying it behind your head. It’s a comfortable size, you note, especially since you have a rather small mouth. 

Next he picks up the blind fold, navigating around your body so he’e behind you again. Bringing it over your eyes, you groan into the gag. He makes sure you can’t see before securing it and you must admit you’ve never been gagged and blinded before. Ethan usually wanted you mouth free and eyes open so you could suck him off. You can tell with Yuta though, that this is more about pleasuring you for him. 

Without your sight, everything immediately becomes more sensual. The only thing you can really count on is the hearing, due to your loss of touch as well. You listen closely as he shuffles around you, when suddenly he’s pressed against your back. You can feel all of him on you like this and you can’t help the noise that emits from you, muffled around the gag. 

His fingertips dance around your waist, moving to the front of your body before he reaches between your closed legs. “Part them.” he mutters deeply into your ear and you groan, complying instantly. Brushing over your pubic bone you begin to pant around the gag. The increase in the rise and fall of your chest causes the ropes around your breasts to tighten and loosen periodically. 

He finally tickles your clit with his fingers, only ghosting over it in a teasing manner. You shiver in his hold, body vibrating and he makes a noise of approval. “Such a good little bunny. So responsive.” he murmurs in your ear, flicking your clit harshly. Almost painfully, but you couldn’t give a fuck, a strangled moan slipping around the gag. Your hips buck, looking for his fingers and the fact you can’t see them, makes you drip. 

“Okay, no more teasing. Just know I’m being extra nice since it’s your first time.” He confirms in your ear. Oh, you know he would tease you for hours and not get sick of it. But you’re happy he’s serving it to you on a silver platter this time. You moan out in response, it being the only noise that gets past the gag in your mouth as drool begins to dribble from the corners of your lips. 

He runs his fingers through your folds, another moan leaving from deep within your chest. “So wet.” He muses to himself and you begin to blush. “Oh, don’t be embarrassed, bunny.” He’s coos into your ear. “It’s so sexy that I barely have to touch you and you’re ready to go for me.” You’re always ready, is what you want to say, but the gag would make that near impossible. 

His fingers dip into your soaking pussy, beginning to slowly pump in and out of you. You can’t help the string of muffled curses that you grumble out, nearly choking on your saliva as you do. “Careful, bunny. As much as I’d love to see you choke, it won’t be on your own accord.” Your eyes roll back at his words, your pussy squeezing around his fingers as he chuckles at the reaction he gets from you. 

Suddenly he slips something inside of you and you’re guessing it’s the egg toy. It feels foreign. Smooth and round, snug deep in your pussy. His fingers leave you and you whine, the noise pitiful as he pats your hair soothingly. You hear the sound of sucking and your heart rate increases. “Mhm, you taste good, little bunny.” he moans into your ear as he licks his fingers and you wish more than anything right now, that you could see him. 

You wiggle against your ropes, groaning as they tighten on your skin. You hear him laugh at you as you embarrass yourself. It only turns you on more. “Right. Are you ready to see just exactly what this little toy can do?” He asks. You nod in response, thinking he wouldn’t expect you to answer verbally. You were wrong. 

He slaps your thigh. Not as hard as you’d like, but hard enough to hurt a little. It makes your back arch against the ropes as you throw your head back, a deep, primal sound emitting from deep within your chest. “Answer me.” he demands and you try your best to be good and answer. A barely understandable ‘yes’ is filtered from your mouth, drool now running down your chin like a stream. 

He doesn’t even think before he leans in close to you, using his tongue to lick up the mess you’ve made of yourself. You let out a high pitched moan as your mind races. He’s so fucking dirty and you love it. He gets to the corner of your lips, where he flicks his tongue into your mouth briefly, before pulling away. A noise of disagreement leaves you and he looks on, amused and intrigued by you. 

He grips the little remote in his hand, pressing the on button. You immediately react. Your body jolts as the little toy vibrates to life and so it starts. You officially can’t keep the noises in and Yuta only encourages you with his sweet and filthy words. 

The feeling of the toy vibrating deep in your pussy is ecstacy. With both your sight and will to string together a sentence evaporated, you are left to only focus on your impending orgasm. Wanting to participate Yuta picks up an almost melted ice cube, running it across your already hardened nipple. 

The sting of the cold makes you hiss, the feeling a painful pleasure. He creates a process of making your abused nipple freeze, before defrosting it in his mouth then switching to the other. The sensations make your head loll to the side and Yuta notes that next time he should tie you so that your neck gets more support. 

Your toes still on the ground begin to tingle as you feel an orgasm rise in you. Your chest rises and falls more rapidly and Yuta notices. Nipping and pinching at your sensitive nipples brings you to the edge quicker. A final bite to your chest pushing you into your orgasm. 

However, Yuta doesn’t turn the toy off. You try to argue your disagreement around the gag as a couple moments pass. When he still makes no move to turn the little buzzing toy off, you wiggle in your restraints. “Shush, bunny. It’s alright, do you trust me.” He mumbles against your chest. Luckily a nod is enough to satisfy him this time as he replies, “Good girl.”

Quickly you’re brought to another orgasm, but before you can cum, Yuta is on his knees sucking your clit between his lips. When the cold touches your sensitive nerves you all but scream into the gag, thrashing as he loops his arms around your thighs to stop you from moving. Definitely tying your legs next time, he thinks to himself. 

You cum hard, but he still doesn’t stop. Tears begin to fall down your cheeks as you sob into the gag. “Aww, is my little bunny ready to throw in the towel already?” He asks, a degrading tone in his voice. You shake your head, a muffled ‘no’ crying from your sobbing mouth. 

“Just one more for me, bunny. I promise.” You nod your head, only wanting to please him so bad. Even though he makes every nerve in your body burn, he’s a flame you’d gladly walk into every time. “Good girl.”, he praises stroking your thigh adoringly. You’re absolutely perfect for him. 

He pops an ice cube in his mouth, ghosting over your poor, swollen clit once again as you sob harder, feeling his breath on you. He attaches his lips around it, a broken moan turning into a weak scream as he places the ice cube directly on your clit. With the egg still vibrating inside you, his lips sucking your clit and the damned ice cube making it throb, you stand absolutely no chance. 

You cry out loud as you cum again. At this point a mix of your tears and drool stream down your face and neck, while cum dribbles down your thighs. Yuta wastes none of it, sucking your sticky thighs clean of the substance, caressing your skin as he does. 

After a few moments he’s quick to stand up. You hear him behind you before he loosens the rope holding you up, the slack causing your knees to collapse as you try to hold your own weight again. He catches you, arm securely wrapped around your waist as he guides you to the bed where he swiftly removes all the rope from your body.

When he removes your blindfold and gag, you begin to hiccup as your eyes adjust to the dim room before landing on him. He’s looking at you proudly with a hint of worry showing on his features. “You okay, y/n?” he asks softly. You nod, a quiet ‘yeah’ forming as your jaw adjusts to being closed again. 

Every muscle in your body burns, and this is the last part of rope bondage you love. The way you can always feel it long after you’re finished. He grabs a damp towel and begins to gently wipe the sweat, cum and drool from your body before you collapse into him. He hugs you close to him and you feel completely safe and satisfied. 

“That was amazing.” you sigh into him, and you swear you almost feel him deflate around you. “That’s good, I’m glad you did.” He mumbles into the top of your head. 

“Next time we should stretch first though.” you grumble and he laughs, his whole body vibrating and you can’t help but laugh lightly too. 

“Okay.” he replies, obeying you for the first time tonight.

#nct smut #kpop smut #nct 127 #kpop scenarios #neohub #nct x reader #yuta nakamoto #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #nct scenarios #shibari #ropebondage #bdsmplay #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #potatocitytechnology

[warmaidensrevenge]

It's not a never.

Pairings: Eddie x fem!best friend Plus size reader

A/N: Happy Sunday loves. Here I present the final part in this series. It's a bit steamy if you ask me. So ready your naughty bits. As always thanks for reading. Please feel free to share and comment your thoughts. It really gives me a boost of dopamine that I crave. So anything is awesome. Kay love ya. Byyyyyeeee.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A huge thank you and credit to the original posters and artists.

Word count: 3,824

Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Angst, language, sexual implications, sexual situations, p&v, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex and mentions of alcohol use. Not proof read

Part 4: Right now

Summary: Time goes by. But feelings still remain.

The farewell was in fact unbearable. It hurt Eddie like hell. But what hurt the most was a year after. College life became hectic for you. Which caused letters and phone calls to lessen. 

Then the guys got a big break. It was a small record label with very little rapport. But it was one he had a good feeling about. They made a deal for one full album and a few shows to promote it. 

It was a very busy year that turned into two. Then three.

Before any of them knew it, they were playing sold out shows. 

Things were working out. His dreams were coming true. But he never forgot about that girl with the sweet little smile. Though it has been some time since he saw it. He was fortunate enough to see it again one summer night in that third year.

The band was performing at one of their favorite places one hot night. They loved it because it was on a rooftop. Where they could see most of the city.

Tonight though, Eddie could only focus on the pretty girl with the small smile he almost forgot if it weren't for the prom picture he kept in his wallet.

The second the set was over, he jumped off the stage and ran to you. Obviously dodging the groupies and fans asking for autographs.

You yelped when he embraced you. Surprised when he picked you up a little.

“ Oh shit! I can't believe this!” He said when he planted you back down. 

You giggled. “Hi Eddie.”

He leaned back a little and grinned like crazy. “ When did-” He was cut off by the rest of his buddies.

He took a few steps back to let everyone have their turn with you. To be honest he needed the minute to get over the shock of seeing you. 

One thing led to another and you guys went out for drinks then ended up back at their apartment.

The whole night you guys were hanging off each other. Loving glances were shared and every word you said sounded like a love spell to him. And that didn't end when it was just you two.

Everyone else went to bed and he wasn't tired at all. So why end the night? Who knows when he was gonna see you again.

“ Ehem. So Eddie?” You said, putting your half empty glass on the coffee table. “ How many times do I have to squeeze your thigh to get you to kiss me?”

He laughed nervously.

You gave him a sexy sly grin. “ Common I've been flirting with you all night.”

He cleared his throat and smirked while you moved closer to him. It was true. You were flirting. He was too. And he shouldn't have. 

You reached up to move his bangs to the side. After you rested your hand much closer to his genitals. 

He quickly put a hand on yours. Just in case you decided to touch him further. “ Ummm…” he mumbled and met your beautiful eyes.

If things were different, he wouldn't question a damn thing and take you right here and now. Maybe even on the floor and the kitchen counter. Definitely fuck you in the shower and again on his bed. But he couldn't.

He exhaled. “ I'm kinda seeing someone.”

You practically jumped back. Pulling your hand away in the process. He could see how red you were getting from embarrassment.

“ Crap! Ed- I'm…uhhhh I'm sorry. I should go.”

You stood up and without thinking he grabbed your arm and stood up too.

“ No! I mean. Please don't go.”

You looked at him and shook your head. “ No I should. I've embarrassed myself enough for a lifetime.”

You tried to go but he gently pulled you back and cupped the sides of your face. 

“ Common kid. Don't be embarrassed. I was flirting too.” He hung his head a little. “ I shouldn't have but…it's you.”

He felt your warm soft hands on his. Making him meet your eyes. 

“ Eddie I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come and -”

“ No. You did nothing wrong. It was me. I should've said I was seeing someone sooner…but seriously, don't go. I-I've missed you…So fuckin much.”

You bit your lip and nodded. “ Okay. But you have to sit on the other side of the couch.”

He dropped his hands and held onto yours. “ Yeah, or I'm gonna have to make a phone call and become single.”

Your eyes widened. “ I'm flattered, but probably don't do that.”

You both grinned at one another before returning to the couch. Talking until the sun came up.

For Eddie it was heartbreaking saying goodbye to you that next morning. You were still that funny, sweet, affectionate girl from highschool. You were still the person he could talk to for hours without a care in the world. And he remembered the love that he still had for you. 

What he learned last night was that you were so busy with school that you didn't have time to date. He also found out that college was much harder than you thought it was gonna be. So hard that you changed your major twice.

Eventually, you found something you really saw yourself doing. Career wise that is. And he was happy for you. Just like how you were happy for him and the guys. 

Still, there was still something between you two. Something he wished he could explore. Something that just flowed with you. It was as if you guys picked up from where you left off.

It irked him. It bothered him so much that he actually opened up to his girlfriend about it. 

At first she was quiet, then she got pissed. Eventually, she calmed down and broke up with him. And to be honest it didn't really affect him that much. Sure he liked her. She was fun to be around. But after talking to you, he realized he never had a decent conversation with her. It was just partying and sex mostly. 

It wasn't her fault though. It was him. He never cared to open up to anyone besides his friends. Maybe it was because he thought no one would understand or get him. Get his quirks or quips. They probably wouldn't get his music tastes or like his nerdy side. Or maybe he didn't want anyone to. Perhaps it was because he still had hope for you. Hope that was instilled in him over the best pancakes in the world.

Either way it would be another 4 years until he would see you again.

…

Jeff was getting married. To Connie, in Hawkins. Everyone was invited and Eddie, Gareth and Grant were his groomsmen. They were all his best men cuz he couldn't choose one. 

Which was such a grueling task. Helping with the wedding and planning a bachelor party took up a lot of time. 

But besides all that, Eddie was looking forward to seeing one guest. One very important guest. The pretty girl he's been corresponding to for the past four years. 

He got in touch after you left New York. And kept up contact. He didn't want to disconnect again. Lose you again.

Though nothing was ever said about getting together, he anticipated that after the wedding he was gonna leave with you. Finally getting to that right now you had mentioned seven years ago.

-

He was near the entrance of the church, saying his hellos with the rest of the wedding party when he saw you. 

Everything around him seemed to slow down as you exited the car and fixed your royal blue dress. You looked around and smiled at the people you knew. Then you went to help your mom out of the car. 

He absolutely could not look away. You were a knockout. Absolutely gorgeous. 

What were the chances he could sneak you out of the party and make love somewhere? Maybe he could convince you to leave early. 

He suddenly felt a jab in the ribs. 

“ Ouch! What the fu-” he groaned as he looked at Gareth who was nodding towards Jeff's grandma. “ Oh right!” He uttered, holding out his elbow for her. “ Hello there young lady, I am to escort you to your VIP spot.”

She hit him with an ohh you and took his arm. He looked back to see if he could catch your eye. But it wasn't until the ceremony that he did. 

With a big smile you lifted your hand. Giving him a little wave. He smirked and looked down. Continuing down the aisle. 

Damn! He thought. He really wanted you to be a part of the wedding party.

Originally you were, but you had just started a new job and couldn't get away for rehearsals or any planning. So you opted to only be a guest. Which sucked for him because now he had to look at the happy couple instead of staring at you.

Once he got to the altar he met your gaze again. He knew he must look crazy grinning the way he was. But he didn't care. The girl he was in love with was in the same town, at the same place he was. And he was gonna make sure he left with you.

-

The vows and I do’s were said and the pastor gave the bride and groom the go ahead for a kiss. 

Eddie looked over at you and you had tears of joy falling from your eyes. He pulled out his  handkerchief and took a few steps towards you. Asking for the person sitting in front of you to hand it off. 

You blushed and wiped the tears away while he went back to his spot. Gareth nudged him, but he didn't care. He had to make sure you were good. 

At this point he would do anything for you. He would give anything to be with you. He'd say anything and everything he could just to see you smile. And for a second he pictured what his life would be like with you.

Applause broke out and he clapped along as Jeff and Connie walked back down the aisle together. Once they were at the end, the guys and bridesmaids followed. 

He looked at you again and you were talking to your dad. However, you met his eyes as he passed and mouthed a thank you. 

He nodded and planned on circling back around so that he could get to you. Unfortunately, he had to go in the limo as soon as they walked out. 

Apparently word mysteriously got out that Jeff was getting married. So there were paparazzi and a handful of fans waiting outside the chapel. 

It was a good thing that they had security on standby just in case this happened. 

Everyone was escorted into the car and rushed off.

Jeff was pissed but Connie calmed him down. Saying that to not let it ruin their day. 

Eddie smiled to himself. He was happy for his friend. Jeff had found the girl he was meant to be with. Even with the band getting bigger and the crazy schedules. One of his best friends got to spend the rest of his life with someone who calmed him. Who accepted him for all that he is and truly made him happy. 

Eddie was a little envious of it. Still, he was completely overjoyed for his buddy. 

He wanted that. More than anything, he wanted you. So it was his prerogative to be with you.

-

Everyone had to show their invitations to get into the dance hall. But once in, the music was going and drinks were being served. 

Eddie waited patiently by the door. Nearly jumping up and down. Excited to finally get to talk to you. 

While giving security your invitation you locked eyes with him and smiled from ear to ear. 

You looked away for a second then followed your parents in. 

He said hello to everyone as they made their way down the line to the newly Weds. Finally it was your dad's turn. They shook hands and your mom was next.

“ Why hello there, gorgeous. You are a vision.”

Victoria blushed and gave him a playful smack. “ Stop it.”

He laughed and gave her a hug. 

At last, it was your turn. 

“ Hi Eddie.”

He stood there with his lips together and an eyebrow raised. Giving you his flirtatious smile. “ Hi baby.”

You tilted your head to the side and raised both brows. “ Baby?”

He beamed at you and grabbed your hand. Pulling you closer to him. “ Yeah. You're my baby girl now.” 

Before you could say anything, he pulled you into a long warm hug. Rocking you from side to side. Making you laugh.

Grant cleared his throat. “ Alright Munson, you're holding up the line.”

You pulled away but he didn't want to let you go. He gave your hand one last squeeze before releasing it. His eyes never left you as you finally made it down to Jeff and Connie. 

He smiled as you took Connie's hand and twirled her around. Clearly admiring how beautiful she looked in her gown. Then you gave her hug. Moving on to the groom. He chuckled seeing you and Jeff do your nerdy handshake before hugging.

Afterwards, everyone sat down to eat. Eddie of course didn't want to sit with the rest of the party. Not while you were just a few feet away. He grabbed his plate and his beer and went to sit next to you. 

“ Eddie…Connie's is gonna kill you.” You warned.

He looked up at the head table and saw Jeff and Connie just enamored with each other. Not really paying attention to anything or anyone else but each other for that matter.

He put a hand on the back of your chair and scooted closer. “ I don't think they care.”

He watched you as you glanced at your friends and smiled.

“ Awww I love them.”

He reached up and moved your hair behind your shoulder. Causing you to look at him. “ Want to get out of here?”

You jerked your head back. “ Dude! It's our best friend's wedding.”

-

As the night progressed you guys were practically inseparable. You danced, drank, and talked. It was as if nothing had changed between you two. He made you laugh and you made him nervous. 

It felt right.

Even the approving nods he got from his friends and family assured him this was it. He could do this with you. 

Your parents were about ready to leave a couple hours later and you along with them. What could he do to get you to stay?

“ I-I can get you a ride home later if you want.” He offered.

You shook your head. “ No, I have some work to do so I better get going.”

He frowned. “ But we hardly got to hang out.”

You looked down, clearly to him, trying to think of something. When he came up with something first.

“ I uhh I should probably try and find a hotel for tonight.”

You met his eyes with yours. “ Why?”

He nudged his head towards the door. Where there were paparazzi hanging out with cameras at the ready. “ I was gonna stay with my uncle, but I don't want those guys to bother him.”

“O-oh… ummm well you know my parents still have the pull out in the basement. I could...if you want, I could sneak you out? But what about everyone else?”

He shrugged. To hell with them for the night. “ They're adults, they can figure out something I'm sure.”

You softly laughed. “ Alright. How about you go out the service entrance and we’ll circle around for you?”

He smirked. “ Let's go.”

-

He was laying there in his boxers trying to figure out how to sneak past your parents room and get into your bedroom. Sure it was probably a stupid idea to try and have sex while your parents were across the hall. However he needed you. He craved your lips, and your warmth. He wanted your body next to his.

So he decided to grab something to drink, then see if your parents had gone to bed.

What he found was even better. 

You were in the kitchen grabbing a Popsicle. Wearing nothing but a long shirt and tube socks.

When you turned around you jumped. “ Eddie!” You half whispered. 

He grinned. “ Sorry baby. Was thirsty.”

He went for a glass to pour himself some tap water. Paying attention to your movements. You had gone to sit at the table and started sucking on the ice cream. All the while reading a manuscript. 

He gulped down his drink and went to sit next to you. Pulling the chair as close to you as possible. 

You did your best to ignore him and his advances. But the way he played with your hair made you shift closer to him. 

You had gotten so overcome by his light touch on your thigh that you squeezed your legs shut. You then flipped the page you were working on and licked the Popsicle that was melting all over your hand. Some of the sweet syrup dripped down your chin. And before you could wipe it away he grabbed your hand with one arm and lightly held your chin between his index finger and thumb with the other. He then licked a fat strip from the underside of your chin up to your bottom lip.

He smirked to himself hearing your breath hitch. He had you right where he wanted. 

He stood up and grabbed your hand. Stealing your sweet treat and finishing it off before leading you down to the basement. Of course locking the door behind you. 

When he got you on the bed, he finally took that kiss he'd been dying for all day and everyday for the past seven years

Wet and needy. Tongues dancing together. Exploring tenaciously. With hands doing the same.

He started needing your breast and was surprised by something hard. Curious, he went under the shirt and felt two small metal balls on either side of your hardened nipple. 

He groaned against your lips. “ Fuck baby. I like this.”

You laughed softly and whispered. “ I knew you would.”

He grinned while he played with your piercing. After a bit he kissed his way down your body until he reached your underwear. But instead of taking them off. He moved the damp cloth to the side and spread you a part. 

He was addicted as soon as his tongue touched you. The sweet, sweet nectar that poured from you drove him mindless. But even more so feeling your hand get lost in his curls as the other covered your mouth. Trying to conceal your pleasure.

He stared up at you, enjoying your contorted face as he sucked and licked and swallowed like there was no tomorrow. 

Then he added fingers. Doing a come hither motion. Wasn't long after that. Your body trembled as an orgasm hit. Your pussy throbbed around his fingers. Coating them generously with your wetness.

He waited patiently for you to come down before climbing back up your body and crashing his lips into yours. And when he did you sucked in his bottom lip. Causing him to push his hardened length against your soaked undergarments.

You pushed him up off of you and got on your knees before him. He watched in awe as you wrapped your hair up and freed his cock from its cotton prison.

You teased him at first. Giving his head little kitten licks and kisses. It was maddening. Feeling your slick tongue swirl around the tip before retreating back into your mouth. 

“ Baby please!” He begged.

You looked up with darkened eyes and a less than angelic smile. “ Shhh. You have to be quiet.”

He pouted. Pleading you with his eyes. 

Then you did it. You took the whole damn thing. Making him reach for the back of your head and lifting his hips to go deeper. 

The hum in your throat had his eyes rolling back and toes curled until they hurt. 

A few seconds passed by and he felt your throat close around him as you started to choke. He loosened his grip and let you back off. 

He opened his eyes and focused on you. Watching you catch your breath before taking him in again. This time not so deep. Adding your hand into the mix. 

It was fucking amazing. Every slurp, every gag, every teasing lick around his balls nearly had him cumming. Even more so when you forced him in every once every other stroke. Building up his confidence and his orgasm.

“ Sh-shit baby…got-gotta stop.” 

You let him go with a small pop and had a concerned look in your eyes.“ Everything okay?”

He licked his lips and swallowed. “ Yeah. Fuckin perfect. Just don't wanna cum yet.”

He leaned forward and pulled you into a kiss while helping you up. 

You stood before him and used his shoulders for balance as he peeled off your panties. 

Once they were at your feet you kicked them off and straddled him. Slowly lowering yourself on his shaft. 

Your mouth fell open and your eyes screwed shut and his tip pushed through. 

“ OH MY GOD!” He moaned. 

Your warm tight pussy clinged to him. Hugging him like no other has before. Feeling you flutter around him as you rocked back and forth had him focusing on not cumming. 

He buried his face in your bosom and concentrated on his target. That one special spot that made you cry out his name. That spot that not only drove you over the edge but made him see heaven.

Sure enough he found it. But at this angle he couldn't touch it as much and he wanted to. 

So he wrapped his arms around you and held on tightly as he flipped you over on your back. 

You giggled in the process and stole a kiss and he repositioned himself. When he looked at you, you were grinning up at him.

“ Oh Eddie. So serious.”

He narrowed his eyes at you and rammed himself in. Earning that yelp/ moan. He reached up to cover your mouth as he plowed into you.

“ This. Is. Serious.” He grunted. 

Your eyes got lost in the back of your head as he thrusted hard and steady. Your moans turning into whimpers and sighs as he fucks you into the bed.

And within moments your body and his reacted to the immense pleasure. 

The climax washed over you like a wave of ecstasy.

Once it passes, he rested his forehead on yours panting with you. Letting his hand fall away from your mouth. 

“ I've missed you so much.” He whispered.

You nodded in agreement that he was also missed. 

He kissed your forehead. “ I'll go find something to clean you up.”

He then pulled out slowly and put on his bottoms.

When he came back he had a warm washcloth with him. He gently cleaned between your legs then himself before pulling you to lay in his arms.

You had started tracing his tattoos. Making him smile.

That's when he found himself writing something on your arm.

‘Marry-me-yeah?’

You sighed lightly and snuggled closer to him. Tracing your answer on his chest.

‘Okay’

He raised his head to look at you. " Yeah?"

You nodded. " On one condition...You have to break the news to Grant."

Eddie threw his head back into the pillow and smacked his forehead. " Shit! He's gonna kill me."

You giggled. " Yup."

…

@salenorona23 @browneyes528 @ohmeg @eddiesguitarskills @trashywormeateroffics @eddie-is-a-god @crookedcrone

#fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #stranger things #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie smut #eddie stranger things #eddie x plus size reader #eddie x oc #eddie x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x female reader #plus size reader #plus size girls #eddie series #Spotify

[homunculus-argument]

After your elaboration on homework I get the feeling, I have that, pretty much that, at home. You don't happen to have a solution? Something that helped you focus better?

We are not sure, if we should seek the diagnosis... also: what happens, if she doesn't even have ADHD? We are scared and frustrated, but - apparently in difference to your parents - we want to support her. Do you have any idea how to do that?

Sorry to be a bother, but I want my daughter to have the fulfilling moment of "wow this actually works" sooner, if I can make it. I hope you understand.

Honestly, the big step was getting medicated. The sudden dopamine burst that enabled me do things, that helped me build up confidence that I'm capable of doing things, and gradually building up habits that helped me keep going, now that I wasn't afraid of suddenly running out of motivation and it all crashing down.

I'd say that if you've got access to that kind of medical care, it's good to have her tested. If she does get the diagnosis, you'll get better access to things that can help her with ADHD, and if she doesn't have it after all, at least you'll know that for sure.

Other than medically, the worst that my parents did concerning the ADHD was simply labelling it as an inherent part of my personality - as far as my mother was concerned, she just had one child who wanted to do well in school, and one natural-born slacker. She didn't say this with the intention to hurt or insult me, but being raised in a very career-oriented environment with a lot of pressure to succeed in life, being labelled someone who simply lacks the desire to achieve anything despite of desperately wanting to do so really did a number on my sense of self-worth.

You're already doing a good job wanting to help her. If she needs more support in doing her tasks than other kids her age, then you'll just need to give her more support. Kids let go of parental support when they're ready to survive without it - withholding support from a kid who still needs it won't make them become independent any faster, it just makes them fall.

[virescent-v]

Hello! As someone who struggled with a SH Addiction…as wild as it sounds. I was wondering if you could do Reader(Sh Addiciton) is clean but had urges again and is struggling to fight them with Emily helping them? It would help me as someone whose struggling rn lol

Siren Call

A/N: Hi lovie, I tried my best with this. I have struggled with depression since my teenage years, and suicide ideations throughout that time. To be transparent, I've never dealt with self-harm. I hope I managed to capture those feelings for you and do this justice.

To anyone reading this: Check the trigger warnings. Protect yourself. Please reach out if you're struggling. You're not alone and the world is better with you in it. <3

SAMHSA's National Hotline: [phone], or text your zip code to 435748 for help near you.

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm/cutting, mentions of razors. It's not very graphic imo, but again, protect yourself if these are not things you feel okay reading.

Word Count: 1.4k

It was a rollercoaster of emotion flowing through you. Ups and downs and turns that you could hardly keep up with. Numbness, but at the same time, a devastating whirlwind of thought. You weren’t sure how you could feel so empty but so full of emotion at one time, but you were. 

The depression was not new, a thing carried along with you every day from your adolescence, like a shadow or a tumor. Always there, sometimes bothersome, sometimes silent, and just waiting for a moment to shatter any progress you’ve made.  

Everyone you’ve talked to has dealt with their mental health differently; therapy, medications, denial. And, sometimes, those did work for you. You met with your therapist once a week (less, if you couldn’t afford it), you were on your third antidepressant, and you tried so hard to ignore how your mind betrayed you. 

The one thing that was consistent, that always helped with the emotions coursing through you, was physically releasing them. 

The first time you cut yourself, you were sixteen. You’d only learned about it from the darker corners of the internet, a place you shouldn’t have been. Too young, too impressionable. But, the first slice of the razor against the skin of your thigh felt good. As the skin tore apart from itself, as the blood oozed from the wound, all of your negative feelings went too. 

With each drop of blood, you felt the freedom from doubt, worry, anger, sadness. Each cut brought a feeling of euphoria, the dopamine replacing all of the emotions that were burying you. 

It was a habit that continued throughout your teenage years, and even early twenties. When the destructive thoughts got too much, the razor was there to bring color back into your life. But, as you got older, you got smarter, more diligent in the way those terrible thoughts would creep into your mind, suffocating the joy from you. You learned better coping mechanisms, learned how to manage the craving of the sharpness of a blade against your fragile skin. 

But still, the release would call to you, a siren of a dreadful sea you did not want to be a voyager on. 

On such nights, when the waves of despair rocked you too roughly, your girlfriend Emily was usually there to distract you, a life preserver to stop you from drowning. 

Unfortunately, Emily wasn’t always there. Her job was demanding, important, much more important than your broken brain. Which made tonight, a particularly rough night, hard for you. 

Everything seemed to be weighing down on you, going wrong, unavoidable mishap after mishap. The shadows seemed to wrap themselves around your brain, spindly fingers digging their claws in with no sign of letting go.

The siren call beckoned, a melodious tune that pulled you in, easing the racing thoughts in your mind. 

You stood in front of your bathroom mirror, the reflection in front of you hardly recognizable. Your skin pallor, dry, dark under your eyes. You licked around your chapped lips, feeling the fuzziness of your unbrushed teeth. Your clothes hung off of your body, loose from multiple days of wear. Unkempt hair, a tangled mess atop your head. You looked as rough as you felt, the lack of sleep and self-care exacerbating your inner turmoil. 

Taking a shaky breath, you looked down at your hands, the newly purchased razor blade sitting in the box. Pretty, new, waiting for use. You imagined the shine of the blade against your skin, how the silver would contrast the uneven, blotchy shade of you. How the deep red hemoglobin would look, how it would bring color back to you. 

The call got louder. 

As you were about to tear open the box, a single word, a single thought, broke through the haze of your mind. 

Emily. 

The cacophony of noise halted. You knew that she wouldn’t be disappointed. She’s the only one who ever really understood this habit, this… addiction. Understood how the silence and the noise bantered back and forth in a way that was sensory overload, how sometimes the only way to get it to stop was to cut. To feel something else. 

While she wouldn’t be disappointed, you could imagine the look on her face, how her eyes would hold all of her thoughts. She’d get you through it, she always has, but sometimes her looks haunted you more than your own thoughts did. 

Instead, you picked up the phone. 

It rang twice; she never sent you to voicemail unless she absolutely could not answer. 

“Baby?” She whispered. You’d woken her up. “Everything okay?” 

You tried to talk. The air was trapped in your lungs, the only noise escaping you a hollow breath, a crushed whimper. 

You could hear Emily sit up in bed, the click of a lamp. “Love? Answer me.” Her voice was more alert, commanding, an edge of fear. 

You swallowed hard. Your breath coming quicker, everything threatening to rush out of you. “Em,” another shaky whimper, a plea. 

“Take a breath for me, sweetheart. You’re okay. I’m right here.” You could hear the rustling of clothes being pulled on. 

The box in your hands rattled as it fumbled onto the bathroom sink, your trembling hands unable to hold it. Another thing you couldn’t do your mind hissed at you. 

“I can’t - can’t ma-make it s-stop.” You forced the words out, stumbling them into each breath you inhaled. 

“I’m coming, baby. Stay on the phone with me. You’re okay.” A car door slammed, the engine roaring to life. A siren. 

“Listen to me. I’ll be right there. Listen to my voice.” Emily continued to talk, walking you through the case she was working on. How the weather was. Her favorite movie. Nonsensical ramblings to keep you focused on her. You’d grunt occasionally in response, a way to ensure her you were still listening, still there. 

Your vision tunneled, black around the edges, as your grip on the sink tightened. You could feel the rush of blood through your body in your ears, your limbs starting to tingle as the  numbness started. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you heard the front door slam, hasty footsteps through the hallway. A hand covering yours. 

Emily turned your body towards hers, her hands cupping your cheeks, trying to bring your eyes to hers. 

You felt paralyzed, stuck in a mud so thick and deep you couldn’t move. You tried to focus on Emily’s voice, the rubbing of her thumbs across your cheekbones. You tried to blink, tried to get your eyes to focus. 

Noticing that she wasn’t getting through to you, Emily wrapped you in the tightest hug she could, squeezing you as hard as her arms could handle. A way to help calm down your overactive nervous system, as if she was trying to transfer your energy to her. 

Eventually the shaking calmed down, the pins and needles in your limbs still pushing and pulling, beating to the accelerated pace of your heart. You were finally able to look at Emily, her eyes shining in worry, but also protectiveness. A lighthouse in a stormy sea. 

She tucked your hair behind your ear, checking over your body for signs of harm. Finding none, seeing the unopened box on the counter, she breathed a sigh of relief. “Let's go lay down, love.” 

She all but dragged you to bed, shoving you under the covers before turning off the overhead light. She walked back into the bathroom, presumably to get rid of the box of razors. 

Your eyes remained closed the entire time, listening to her fiddle around with things in your bedroom, the sound of her jeans hitting the carpeted floor before she joined you in bed. Her strong, warm arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to her, your head on her chest. 

Her hands traversed your body, as if taking note of each inch of your scarred, but intact skin. She paid extra attention to your previous cuts, the scars healed and raised and pink, a testament of your ability to withstand. Each line a reminder that you made it. That while the emotion swelled over you, overtook you, that you came out on the other side stronger. 

“Sleep, love. I’ll be here. We can talk about it in the morning.” 

All at once, exhaustion engulfed you. You settled more into Emily, breathing in her perfume, realizing at once that she was your saving grace, your protector. You were capable of overcoming anything with her at your side. 

Slowly, as you started to drift off to sleep, the blacks and grays of the shadows disappeared, replaced by a kaleidoscope of colors. Emily’s steady heart lulled you into a sense of comfort. In her arms, the noises and silence settled, the siren call faded into a calming ebb and flow of waves. What was once a tumultuous, dark and violent sea became a mellow, sparkling tide. With Emily, you were home and you were safe from the shadows that haunted you.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss fanfic #virescent v fanfic #emily prentiss fanfiction #please please please reach out if you are struggling #it does get better i promise #ngl i do not like how i ended this but i wanted to get it out #also sorry for all of the water metaphors??? im a pisces lmao

[crustaceousfaggot]

Why you should give Text Adventure games a try (and how to do so)

There is not nearly enough love for Text Adventure Games here on Tumblr. Or anywhere really. But especially here, I feel like you guys would really get a kick out of them. Here's why:

(quick note, I'm gonna be using the words Text Adventure and Interactive Fiction pretty interchangeably here. Technically that's not perfectly accurate, they are technically different things, but I don't care to explain the difference Just roll with it.)

So

Do you like weird short stories told through unconventional mediums? That's most of what Interactive Fiction is

You like story based video games but hate the finicky combat? Congrats, there is literally no combat skill required beyond the ability to type "hit guard with crowbar"

Blind or visually impaired? Since these games are (with a few exceptions) entirely text based, they work great with a screen reader!

Sick of profit motivated AAA titles with no creative integrity? Well, these games are almost always produced by a single nerd (usually a horrid amalgamation of computer geek and literature geek) with no budget and no responsibilities of the product they're making. And they're usually not paid, since these games are free. Text Adventure is a labour of love, and in most games you can feel the care and effort the creator has put into the game.

Sick of spending $20-70 on a video game? Lucky you, I've been playing TA for years and I have not spent a cent in doing so (Fallen Londen will try to make you pay. But Fallen Londen sucks and is run by bigots. Fuck Fallen London.) Games are either available free on a browser, or as free, small downloadable files (most of which can be played using the Parchment Interpreter)

Wish you read more, but reliant on the quick dopamine of digital media? Well now you can read while also being an active participant in the narrative.

Bad at puzzles? Me too! Games from the 80s and 90s, as well as more famous newer games, have walkthroughs and hints easily available online. Newer games tend to either have a "hint" command, or come with a walkthrough file.

Do you like weird surrealist horror? Well there's... A lot of it.

Okay, but where do I start?

So there are two types of text adventure. The one you might be more accustomed to, and which sees more modern use, is called Hypertext Interactive Fiction. The other is called Parser Interactive Fiction, it's generally seen in older games, as well as games that are larger, feature more puzzles, or involve more exploration.

Hypertext games

Basically, the game will give you a scenario, and then a list of options (hypertext links) to click on to decide what to do next. These are usually more beginner friendly since you don't need to fiddle around with parsers, but personally I find them a bit limiting. Nonetheless, if you're new to Text Adventure, they're a good place to start.

Some of my favourites hypertext games (summaries in green)

My Father's Long, Long Legs is an interactive horror story about family, unease, and loss. Really more of a story than a game, but still good. Very nice use of sound. It does have some visual aspects, so this one might not work with screen readers

Scene Kid Simulator is pretty much what it says on the tin. A cute, nostalgic, coming-of-age slice of life story from the POV of a 2000s scene preteen. Nothing special, but a fun time.

The Uncle Who Works at Nintendo is a strange, unconventional, witty, and heartfelt horror game. Your friend has an uncle who he says works for Nintendo. You're about to meet him, or so he says. A fun and spooky look at childhood, childhood friendships, and childhood lies.

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonald's is... A joy to play. The name says it all honestly. Witty, charming, tense, engaging, and emotional when it wants to be. I actually found this one through a lucky Tumblr Blaze, which makes sense since this is perfectly suited to Tumblr sensibilities. This one has more puzzle aspects than most hypertext games, but it's still relatively easy and beginner friendly. You're a vampire hunter. It's your night off, and you go to McDonald's. But there's something wrong with the customer sitting beside you...

Toadstools is a game about hunting mushrooms. You have trespassed in a national park and you are wandering blindly through the woods looking for rare fungi. Good luck :)

Parser games

Okay these fuckers are where I really get excited. These games have the classic flashing cursor line where you input text like "go north", "search bookshelf", or "kiss my husband", and the game's rudimentary AI parses your input to decide what happens next. These are my favourites. They really allow you the feeling of exploring the game world, immerse you in the protagonist and the story, using just text on a screen and simple inputs. This does make them considerably more difficult, since a) you need to decide the right way to phrase what you want to do, otherwise it won't work, and b) more possibilities means more chances to mess up and miss things. Unlike video games, your cursor won't light up when you see something important, you'll have to search stuff and work things out on your own But, in my opinion, it is so, so worth it. Summaries in red

The first text adventure game I ever played was One Eye Open. It's an extremely graphic and gory medical horror game (although I would consider it tasteful medical horror, in that it never derives horror from medical procedures, disability, or ooOoHh gross scary sick people) You play as a volunteer test subject for a medical research facility, having to unravel the mystery of the hospital's bloody past. It's good. It's fun. It's tense. It has some really dumb mechanics. Don't play if you're sensitive to descriptions of gore, death, or corpses. This one doesn't have a walkthrough, but I've played it enough times to know the puzzles by heart, DM me if you need help.

Anchorhead is possibly my favourite piece of interactive fiction I've ever played. It's incredible. You play as a newlywed woman, moving to the small seaside town of Anchorhead after your husband Michael inherited a mansion from some distant relatives. There's something wrong with the town though. There's definitely something wrong with your husband's mysterious ancestors. And you're starting to think that there might be something strange happening to Michael. Get ready for some wonderfully atmospheric and immersive Lovecraftian horror, action sequences that are incredibly vibrant for Text Adventure, and a super compelling mystery that the game lets you work out on your own. The puzzles here are hard. I'm not gonna lie, I used a walkthrough at several points during this game. But my god it's worth it. Big massive huge content warning here for mentions of incest, sexual assault, and pedophilia. Not in excess, and nothing explicit, but it will be mentioned as part of the story.

Little Blue Men is a short, strange, sci-fi-ish horror-ish comedy-ish game by the same author as Anchorhead, though the two games are wildly different. You are an office worker. Cope with it. Take The Stanley Parable, Stella Firma, and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, mash 'em together, and you have Little Blue Men. It's bizarre. It's evocative. It's pretty darn good.

Coloratura is a strangely beautiful sci-fi story. You're a weird little alien blob. You've been separated from your home and are trapped aboard a human spaceship. You need to get home, need to make the humans understand in the only ways you can: color and song.

Slouching Towards Bedlam is a brilliant little steampunk game about language, choice, cults, Armageddon, and triangles. This game has multiple endings. It's neat in that none of the endings are really "good" or "bad". Rather, you need to decide where you stand, and act in the way you think is best.

The Lurking Horror is the grandparent of horror interactive fiction, released in the late 80s. You're a tech student in university. Something more than electricity is powering the school's computers. Find it, but don't die along the way. Besides the comically archaic descriptions of computers, this game doesn't feel all that dated. It's tricky, puzzle-heavy, and charmingly surreal. (Fun fact, this game and another old TA game called Zork inspired the "darkness kills you" mechanic which would later be popularized in Don't Starve!)

Nine Lives is a very short, very weird, very cartoony game where you play a cat that is very bad at staying alive. Cw for non-graphic but repeated cat death.

Spider and Web is one of the most ingenious uses of Text Adventure as a medium I've ever seen. It's famous for having one of, if not the singular best puzzles in video game history. It's tense, it's fast-paced, it introduces you to mechanics slowly and then lets you test them out on your own. I won't spoil too much, but you play as a very badass spy, reliving your brilliant heist during an interrogation. This game even features a character destined to be a Tumblr Sexyman. It really has it all.

If anyone actually read through all this, and has even considered playing any of these games, I'll be a little surprised. This post turned out a lot longer than I wanted it to be. It was meant to just be "hey interactive fiction is a cool and underappreciated medium, go check it out", but this is my special interest, and not one I often get to talk about. I guess this was me infodumping to the only place that will listen, the empty void of the internet. But these games are fun. And they do not get enough love. Text games are a dying genre, if they're not dead already. Give them a chance, show them some love.

#video games #games #text adventures #interactive fiction #horror #horror games #lovecraftian horror #anchorhead #if #decided not to mention Cragne Manor #because that's a beast all it's own #and it isn't really worth reccomending unless you're already an Anchorhead fan and seasoned IF player #swarm's nonsense #gaming

[fernlessbastard]

im the psychotic wilbur anon (forgot to note im paranoid schitzo and i see myself so much in him ANYWAYS) BUT CWILBUR BPD FOR THE WORLD. (< ALSO BPD.) hottest take is that him and quackity are bpd4bpd and a huge part of their relationship is a learning curve figuring out how to navigate communication with each other and each others splits and such. i also think that wilbur tends to black split on HIMSELF more often, and quackity tends to black split on OTHERS more often. i also think that wilbur white splitting on quackity would be a whole nother thing they have to deal with, with wilbur suddenly being like "you are literally god to me and the only person who loves and cares about and understands me you are the greatest human being alive please let me worship you i love you so much" and quackity just being like "woag dude" LIKE. also im so so so for real wilbur has so much paranoid schitzo swag i dont know how to explain that this man is fucking TEXTBOOK paranoia and he has so many paranoid anxiety habits that make me feel insane. i think he always makes sure to lock the door and check the lock like six times when he comes home and he cant sleep at night if hes alone in the house so he barely slept in paradise and didnt sleep right until he moved in with quackity, i think he has really severe paranoia about imposters and intruders and also barely slept and was constantly on high alert in pogtopia and he could only really sleep when quackity visited or if tommy or technoblade shared a mat with him, i think he also has delusions of grandeur that he has to deal with a lot and reality checking him can be really dangerous especially coupled with his bpd because he then SNAPS to black splitting on himself so hard he makes himself sick, ohhhh cwilbur my sickly man i adore you so sorry for being insane in your inbox

The first ask in question

(Ok so as a disclaimer obviously headcanons are personal and there's no wrong ones and you're valid for reading it this way)

With Wilbur I very much agree, but I don't see bpd in Quackity tbh. It more so looks like ADHD alongside shit like abandonment issues, being invalidated his entire life, being generally overworked and having no healthy outlet for his feelings, having trouble identifying said feelings in the first place, etc - all of which are very common in/characteristic of ADHD. I don't remember him ever splitting. His shitty love life makes sense with ADHD too - deficiency of dopamine makes it very easy to mistake the dopamine boost from "new person to talk to" for a crush (believe me). Hypersexuality is also common in ADHD, as well as emotional dysregulation, alexithymia (difficulty/inability to identify one's own emotions), overstimulation, shutdowns, etc, which can occasionally resemble splitting, but is very different, and works through exhaustion and frustration rather than delusions. Various types of paranoia as well as heightened irritability are also very common, especially when your senses are clouded by sensory/information/emotional overstimulation. And especially the splitting outwards part just doesn't sit right with me - maybe i missed a stream or sth but I haven't seen anything like that in him. Furthermore I'd actually say he generally points negative feelings/breakdowns etc inwards for the most part - and when ADHD is being pointed inwards it usually leads exactly to developing/heightening shit like paranoia, rejection sensitivity, hypersexuality, emotional dysregulation, alexithymia, etc. He can snap and isolate himself, but it's very different to splitting. ALSO - very important part - Quackity doesn't exhibit mania episodes. He occasionally exhibits the type of hyperactivity and excitement representative of ADHD, but it's never this state of delirium with feelings of grandeur, delusions, etc. Wilbur does exhibit mania episodes - pretty heavily at that - and the contrast makes it pretty apparent that Quackity's case is different.

THAT BEING SAID I don't have bpd, so for a perspective from someone who does, here's a rant from @octobre-ackedia: <<On so many levels, Quackity doesn't show bpd symptoms. Not all abandonment issues are borderline personality disorder. I don't think I need to say it, but bpd takes over the entire life of a person, it's not just trauma. And I don't really have much to elaborate on with the ask, mostly showing Wilbur's bpd traits but that's for an entirely different rant, and I need to chill out. Quackity doesn't black split on others. It was not shown a single time. He slowly loses trust in people, he builds walls, but that's not splitting. He doesn't start to irrationally hate everyone around himself, think that people are just cruel and bad, and more importantly don't care about him, suddenly becoming aggressive towards them. He backs off a little bit more with each disappointment in people around him, ending up not so much hating, as avoiding human relationships. And he doesn't have a favourite person, not even Slime who was just so perfectly there to be an example of that. Quackity learnt how to trust the guy, building a friendship, but never became truly "obsessed" with him. He grieved his death, tried to save him, but FFS, that's not a favourite person, that's how human relationships work (or more so, hybrid relationships haha). He doesn't get manic. You could say he becomes strongly confident, hypersexual or overworking himself, but the important part in it is the reasoning. He doesn't start believing he is some sort of a saviour for the world and can build a perfect country, or that he doesn't need anyone for that. He starts a project and might go overboard with it, but it's never this... aggressive as with bpd. With the 9 most visible symptoms, he has maybe 3 of them, which are all clear reactions to specific situations. Unstable relationships? Schlatt became an abuser, Karl and Sapnap abandoned him, he never really influenced any of that happening. The abandonment issues and feeling of emptiness are simple reactions to that trauma. His moves are calculated, he doesn't really show any mood swings, he has a quite clear image of himself, he doesn't experience any suicide ideation or shows extreme examples of self harm/putting himself in danger. And what about the part of splitting when he pushes people away after getting scared of becoming too close? He always stays, in the end. Even when he tried so hard not to get attached to Slime. Where's the white splitting? Where's anything, really. I still stand with the headcanon of them having to navigate a hard relationship, with both of them experiencing severe mental issues, but it's not bpd4bpd. Q is my depressed ADHD bitch, who struggles with trauma.>>

Also I'd say Wilbur's heavily autism coded too - as a bonus it does frequently "strengthen" bpd cause of the type of trauma autistic people experience. Q I see as very much ADHD but I also low-key hc him as somewhere on the spectrum too, though I'm not as heavily set on that

Tldr while Wilbur absolutely clearly has some severe mental issues, Quackity's seem (to me at least) to be more easily and consistently explainable by a combination of ADHD (maybe low support needs autism) and some (pretty damn severe (canonically - looking mainly at all the abandonment + sa hints)) trauma

#sorry 4 the rant brain nervous system mental health and all that (especially the bio/chem/phis view of it) are a HEAVY hyperfixation of mine #like I'm literally in uni for that-- #not saying what major exactly (sorry that's personal) but yeah that whole shebang #tntduo #tnt duo #quackbur headcanons #dreamsmp #dream smp #quakity #c!tnt duo #c!tntduo #c!wilbur #c!quackity #c!q #c!quackbur #quackbur #c!wilbursoot #revivebur #revivedbur #fernless writing #dsmp #tntblr #dsmp w #dsmp wilbur #dsmp quackity #adhd #bpd #actually bpd #actually adhd #autism

[honeytonedhottie]

quality of life‧₊˚✩彡🎐

this post is a collaboration with @prettieinpink my lovely mutual <3 so make sure to check out ur page for the continuation of this post and it has been a PLEASURE to work with her! go and follow her <3

HEALTH : ur health is easily the most important of these categories and ur own health must be prioritized in every thing that u do. health is wealth, and without health, ur quality of life will be very low.

eat foods that are good for u and that nourish you, pay close attention to ur body and how it reacts to certain foods cuz everyones body is different and u should have a vast knowledge on your own body and how it works. eat a variety of fruits and vegetables. a helpful ratio in eating that i like to use as a basic guideline is (80% of the time, eat healthier foods and 20% of the time eat what u crave)

stay hydrated and drink between 1-3 liters of water a day, about 15 minutes before u go to sleep drink a couple glasses of water, drinking water before bed literally CLEANSES you, it improves ur skin, helps ur heart pump blood more efficiently, and improves blood pressure and heart rate, which affects ur quality of sleep in a positive way

to continue on the note of ur sleep u should be sleeping 8-10 hours of sleep a night. sleep deprivation is NOT cute, so please opt to sleep at an earlier time and rise at an earlier time as well

aside from what u consume, take care of ur health by taking supplements, drinking lots of teas, sleeping enough, stretching ur body, dry brushing, lymphatic drainage massage etc

MENTAL WELL BEING : september is suicide prevention month so i feel like now is an AMAZING time to bring up mental health and ways that u can improve ur mental state of being.

i always talk about self concept and i always will because self concept truly is the foundation of everything. ur whole entire life is literally ur mindset. keeping a positive outlook, meditating and practicing gratitude sounds cliche but it does wonders for ur happiness.

understand that its okay to NOT feel happy 24/7 because happiness is simply a feeling, and feelings are fleeting. they dont stay forever. i talked about the science of dopamine and what it does to ur brain in a previous post but some things that u can do to improve ur happiness levels are :

cutting back on social media and screen time in order to experience the world around you

surrounding urself with people who build you up

consuming social media that impacts ur mental health in a positive way

if u can, invest in therapy and if u can't do some shadow work, and based on ur discoveries with shadow work use the resources that u have (like youtube) to learn how to heal from ur trauma properly. healing isn't an overnight process, its a journey but it will DRASTICALLY improve ur quality of life.

find ways to cope and deal with ur emotions in a healthy way if ur going through a hard time, if ur going thru a REALLY hard time please go and seek help bcuz u dont deserve to live in a constant state of sadness, and if u ever need encouragement my inbox is always open 💗

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE : ur physical appearance can greatly impact ur quality of life also so here's some way to maximize ur looks:

sleep, drink water, and walk everyday - the best way to be pretty is to be healthy so make sure ur taking care of ur nutrition and ur sleep schedule

skincare - build a solid skincare routine and be consistent with it, do ur skincare RELIGIOUSLY 2x a day and dont touch ur face with ur hands unless ur washing ur face. double cleanse and dont forget to apply spf &lt;33

haircare - learn what ur hair texture is and watch influencers or people who share the same hair texture as u and watch how they take care of their hair. once u know ur hair type then ur hair will thrive and be healthy

clean nails, long or short its all a matter of preference but keep ur nails clean and done nicely

wearing clothes that fit and complement ur body nicely, get ur clothes tailored to fit ur body comfortably

take good care of ur hair to keep it healthy, and learn how to do ur hair in cute hairstyles.

lastly POSTURE will tie all of this together, ofc these categories were rly broad but u can totally look into them more to maximize ur own looks and beauty

i know dear peachie on youtube has AMAZING makeup tips especially if ur a beginner she can teach u a lot

GENERAL : this is just a broad category of helpful things that u can do to improve the quality of ur life.

manifestation : when u learn about the way that the world works and operates and how ur mind creates ur own reality u will literally step into the power of knowing that you create. start committing to ur dream life and learning about law of assumption

finding little things to be happy about : i feel my happiest when im consciously living. and what i mean about this most of us just live our lives on autopilot out of necessity or habit, but paying closer attention to our lives and our experiences and romanticizing our lives will improve the quality of ur life

decision making : make decisions that will give the quality of life that u wanna live. for the future, make decisions that are good for ur future self instead of just focusing on making decisions that only look good in that one moment. ofc this differs depending on the situation but make an effort to make smart decisions that'll set the foundation for ur future

go check out @prettieinpink for the next part of this post <;3

#law of assumption #self care #self concept #it girl #becoming that girl #manifesting #self love #loa tumblr #that girl #neville goddard #it girl energy #dream girl #lifestyle #self improvement

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch, I (cis man, late 20s) have a bit of an issue regarding medication and my sex life... I'm hoping you can be a bit of a sounding board for me?

I recently started taking an SNRI to help with anxiety and sleep. It seems to be working (not perfectly, but there's definitely a pretty big improvement).

Currently I'm single and all my sex is solo, but I've noticed that since I started the meds my libido has significantly reduced. It's also more difficult to reach orgasm, and the orgasms feel... different? (Not sure how I feel about that bit...)

My main problem is trying to work out whether I want to raise this with my doctor when I go for my next check-up. I'm not in the market for sex with anyone else right now, so the only person it is affecting is me. The positives in terms of my anxiety are great, and the negatives are more "differences" than actual "negatives".

What do you think? Should I push to try a different medication before I get settled on this one? Or should I spend more time working out whether I'm comfortable with the lower sex-drive? I think both are reasonable, and I would appreciate your opinion - thanks!

hi anon,

PREFACE: I'M NOT ANY KIND OF DOCTOR AND THIS ISN'T MEDICAL ADVICE.

I just want to start by commending you for noting the difference between "different" and "negative." people are often taught to think of any change in their sexual function as automatically bad, when in fact it's often nothing more than a very natural fluctuation within their body.

in your case, that fluctuation is very common; many people report experiencing a decrease in libido after beginning anti-depressants. hormones drive much of our sexuality, and anti-depressants wreak havoc on our the delicate chemical balance in our brain - for the better, of course, because they ideally help bridge the gap for chemical deficiencies in our brains that make us feel Not So Good, but as a side effect functions like the libido can be thrown into a spiral.

it's worth noting that the change often isn't permanent; eventually, your body may very well acclimate to the new hormonal arrangement and gets back to business as usual. I can personally attest that my first year on anti-depressants saw my libido pretty much go dormant, but it eventually came back with a vengeance.

I'm not in any way, shape, or form an expert on how the brain works and how medication works in the long term, but as someone who spends a lot of time talking to people about sex and has been on anti-depressants for years, I have to wonder if part of the sex drive's return has to do with the effectiveness of the medication over time. many people have a hard time fully accessing their sexuality when they're suffering from stress, anxiety, and depression, because being horny - let alone actually having sex - requires an amount of mental space and energy that just isn't there when you're struggling to even perform the basic tasks that let you get through the day. again, speaking from personal experience, I know that before I was medicated, WAAAAAAY too much of my energy was getting burned up by my anxiety and the accompanying physical symptoms; there's not much left over for libido when all of you're exhausting yourself shaking and otherwise being a nervous wreck. turns out being horny is WAY EASIER when you aren't constantly on edge!

I will also point out that sometimes the reason people who aren't doing so great in regards to their mental health masturbate so much is for those sweet little dopamine hits that they're not getting anywhere else, which I don't say to stigmatize jerking off while mentally ill (god knows I can't judge for that) but to point out that after a few months with more managed anxiety, you may not even be as interested in solo sex as you previously were. or you will be, but it will look different thanks to the other positive effects your medication has had. sexuality is a slippery creature, and it's impossible to predict exactly how it will shift throughout our lives.

my point being, if you haven't noticed any other adverse side effects of this medication and you think it's going to help more than hinder you, I would recommend continuing with it for the time. you'll keep reaping the positive benefits in the meantime, and you'll have some time to reflect on those changes as they continue to happen and figure out how this new shape your sexuality has taken can still fit into the overall mosaic of your life. if you ultimately decide that you don't like what's changed, that's fine! but I would broadly advise waiting it out through the most dramatic shifts that will happen early on to get a fuller picture.

#sex edventures 2023

[postwarlevi]

Four unrelated, unassigned character shorts, with hints towards some but can be read as any.

Thank you to this prompt list and my friends for inspiration.

Total word count 1480. Barely proof read.

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@charlotteplsdosth

"Hello honey, I'll be home in two days."

That's how your most recent conversation started with your husband, who'd been away on business for the last couple weeks.

Since then you've been very excited and looking forward to his return and making things just as he'd want them.

The two days couldn't go by fast enough, you missed him terribly, and when the cab finally pulled up the drive and you saw him step out, you couldn't contain yourself.

"My bear!" You tore down the front porch step in your slippers and met him halfway.

"What are you doing?!" He laughed when you threw yourself onto him and he had to drop his bags to catch you.

"I missed you so much." You nuzzle into his chest, legs wrapped around him.

He pets your hair and kisses your forehead before bending and using his free hand to pick his bag up and walk with you still clinging to him.

"Come on silly, let's get you back inside. No one needs to see your nightgown but me."

He settles back in like he never left, leaving unpacking for tomorrow. Mandatory couch cuddles and sharing the sweet treat you made more important.

"Did you miss me, honey?" He asks, holding you close.

"Very much." You nod, and kiss his cheek.

"Me too." He lays his head back and closes his eyes.

A smile appears on his face as he feels you kiss his forehead, eyelids, then his nose, his lips, and finally his chin.

Opening his eyes, your face is just inches away, affectionately looking at him.

He raises an eyebrow, silently asking what you're doing.

With a tiny clear of your throat you softly say, "I can't decide if I like kissing you on the forehead, cheeks or lips more, guess I'll have to kiss you all over again."

His heart swells as he strokes your cheek, and he never wants to leave you for this long, or any amount of time, again.

"Kissing you is my favorite hobby."

And with his hand cupping your cheek, he leans in to show you the same holds true for him.

----------

@levisbrat25

"Hey love, what's wrong?" Your husband knows you well and just two minutes being home from work he can sense your mood.

"N-nothing." Your poutful face says different and you can't hide it well enough.

"I don't believe you, and I'm not moving until you spill." He stands right in the doorway to the kitchen, the place you want to get to most.

So with a whine and a sigh you tell him about your bad day and he listens intently.

He eventually stops you mid sentence when you get worked up. Stepping forward he takes your hand and pulls you close. He's heard enough. He won't let you speak anymore when you say something negative of yourself.

"Stop talking yourself down, babe. You’re amazing." He reminds you, with a soft look only you get to see and a kiss to your cheek.

While you still had a bad day, being with who is your favorite person, makes it seem like everything will be okay.

"Just seeing your face gives me so much dopamine." You say, looking into his eyes, noting that since he's been home, listening, holding you, that you feel lighter than you had just half an hour ago.

He chuckles at this and lets you hug him tightly, his arms around your waist.

"Come on, let's find something to eat." He says after a time, shuffling you into the kitchen with him.

He sits you at the table and starts pulling some things out for dinner that won't take very long.

"You know you’re my favorite person in the world, right?" You say out loud as you watch him do nothing more than prepare dinner. Which is all it takes for your heart to flutter.

He pauses, coming over to you and kneeling down so he's on a lower level even though you're sitting.

"I still can’t believe I was lucky enough to have you wander into my life." He says gently and sincerely.

Both of you know how much you love each other and mean to one another. Words of affirmation are there when either of you need reassurance.

"I'll help you finish dinner." You say, feeling much better, ready to continue the evening with the one you love most.

----------

@levi-supreme

"What is it love?" Your husband has been shaking you gently awake. Your squirming about the bed alerts him to the nightmare you're having.

With a gasp you finally wake, remembering where you are, feeling his arms around you, pulling you to safety.

Nothing was real, but tears well up in your eyes anyway, and he holds you to him while you attempt to calm down.

"I had that dream again, I don't know why." You mention the one you hate the most, making him sigh.

"Oh quit your pouting. I’m not gonna leave." He tells you, and would tell you, even though he didn't see the need other than to help you settle down.

"I know, I know!" You exclaim, putting a hand to your mouth, realizing how loud you are.

There's never been any reason to think he's leave, except for this nightmare, which you have at times when something has been worrying you, and you also fall into a deep sleep.

"I want you to stop stressing." He says, his fingers under your chin to see your eyes, wiping tears with his thumb.

"How much do you love me?" You ask meekly. You shouldn't but cannot help yourself, earning another sigh from him.

"Let’s see…how big is the universe?" He indulges you, as he always will. Maybe he doesn't express enough with words how much he adores you, so, he'll tell you when you need to hear it.

You stay up cuddling and talking for a bit, making you feel better and not long after, sleepy again, ready to try to close your eyes.

Your body language tells him you're okay and you both settle back onto the pillows.

He strokes your hair a few times and smirks when you haven't actually closed your eyes yet. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you’re beautiful." You whisper, getting a grunt from him as he pinches your nose playfully, his ears turning a shade of red in the darkness.

You don't care if he thinks it's silly, everything about him is attractive. From his looks to his heart to the support he gives you.

"I promise I’ll never break your heart and tell you I don’t love you anymore." He mumbles as you fall asleep together, no nightmares anymore.

----------

@hauntedhousecat

"You don't have to pretend with me you know." You tell your husband.

He's been in a bad mood and though you don't have details, you don't need them.

"Sorry." He mumbles, sore at himself and the thoughts that invade sometimes. He doesn't like them anymore than you do.

You're sitting on the living room couch and he's just come in from upstairs and wants to be close to you but isn't sure how to go about it.

You hold your arms out to him. "You know you don’t have to ask for a hug. Come here, sweetheart." He doesn't need to say anything, you can tell.

He sheepishly wanders over and falls into your waiting embrace.

He sighs as he holds your waist and your arms go around his shoulders, holding his head to your chest, kissing his head.

His mood hasn't put a damper on the love and devotion you have for him. You can handle the occasional bad temper. It's never directed at you, anyway.

"I love you." He exhales, his mood lightening in your warm hold.

"What was that?" You ask playfully, making him huff.

"I said I love you." He repeats, a little vexed. When he hears your laugh he's back in bliss again.

"I know, I heard you the first time. I just wanted to hear you say it again. I love you too." You declare after a little teasing, still smiling when he tsks at you while nuzzling your neck.

Any troubles he might have had before takes a seat in the way back as he lets you comfort him. It's the most comfortable, safe place he can think of.

"Wanna get up yet?" You ask after a while, thinking about making lunch or taking a walk or some activity to resume the leisurely day together.

"Never." His grip on your waist tightens, his eyes squeezing shut.

He feels goosebumps as you breathe out another chuckle and your fingers glide along his arm.

"You are adorable." Your words slips out naturally. Though the softness between you can at times draw an eye roll, most often it's heartwarming sentiments.

"I love you. So much." He could stay in your arms forever.

----------

I notice my writing style changed even during stories, please forgive me, I don't know what happened LOL

#unassigned character short #aot #attack on titan #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot x you #aot men #fluff #aot fluff #attack on titan fluff #levi ackerman #erwin smith #miche zacharias #mike zacharias #eren jaeger #armin arlert #jean kirstein #connie springer #reiner braun #porco galliard

[cheeriecherrymain]

Viktor x Reader (WIP #1 - finished draft)

Pairing: Viktor x fem!Reader Format: bullet-point draft Finished? Not yet, but I need the dopamine lol Rating: 18+ MDNI Content Warnings: accidental aphrodisiacs | mutual pining | incorrect lore/science | allusions to Viktor’s slut era | virgin!Reader | oral (f receiving) | vaginal fingering | (brief) anal fingering (f receiving) | Viktor has a whore mouth and does not shut up | p in v sex | big dick vik lol Summary: Viktor requests your help with something HexTech-related. Your slight-unethical approach to science ends up having...consequences.

---

---

Pre-Written Segment

The fun thing about working with experimental materials is that you never really know exactly what’s going to happen. You can hypothesize as much as you want, using logic and common sense in an attempt to accurately predict that which is to come. But at the end of the day, when you’re the one discovering new mixtures and compounds, and writing their laws, you’re likely to stumble across surprises.

It’s a weekly occurrence by now: you find something incredibly interesting during your scientific endeavors - like a metal that grows stronger when it’s heated, or a substance that when blended with water, makes it light and fluffy and dry - and you just have to show your best friend.

Every single time you make a discovery, you rush to tell Viktor. You’re fully aware that very little of what you study would ever be useful to him; you’re both scientists in your own right, but your fields are completely different.

And yet, every single time you run pellmell into the lab, with your work clutched tightly in your hands, he humours you. He sighs deeply the second you barge in, but he puts away whatever he was doing and settles in to learn about whatever it is you’ve brought.

He’s resigned about it, you know, but he listens nonetheless.

He slouches back in his chair and leans his cheek on his palm, asking specific questions where they’re appropriate, and otherwise remaining silent while you speak.

Such has been your routine for years now. You know you’re probably a significant annoyance in his life, but you can’t help it - you’re passionate about what you do, and you want to share it with him. 

Him. Viktor. The only person who’s ever encouraged you to strive for your goals.

—

Which is why it’s such a shock when he shows up in your lab one afternoon.

Startling your diligent but nervous underlings as he makes his way over to your desk, garnering the attention of the entire room as he stops behind you, clearing his throat when you don’t notice him right away.

You’re certain you look a mess, with your hair sticking out in every direction, and two pairs of goggles balanced carefully on top of each other, lab coat rumpled and your tie folded into a wayward knot around your neck.

“Could you spare a moment of your time?” he wonders, keeping his voice low. “It’s about…”

You watch as he glances over his shoulder, and bite back a snicker when your students suddenly disperse and go back to their studies. Only to pause and peek over again when Viktor’s gaze is back on you.

To their credit, they do try to be subtle in their nosiness - you’ve seen your kids when they’re blatantly asking questions, staring without shame and interrupting you every time they want to know something. That being said, they’re definitely scientists, not spies.

And Viktor knows it, too.

“Perhaps I might explain myself when we’re…less likely to be overheard?” he suggests, once again turning his face to glare over his shoulder. “The matter is confidential, and I’m sure your students are good people, but…”

He sighs softly, and tightens his hand on the grip of his cane.

“Jayce and I have hit an unintentional roadblock, and we can’t proceed until we figure out what’s going on,” he explains. “It’s a little bit out of our area, and though figuring it out would be an entertaining challenge, we don’t have time on our side. Would you come by the lab tonight, if possible?”

You’re surprised that something in their line of work could pertain to your own, but you’ve never been one to resist helping a friend.

“I’ll drop by when my shift is over,” you agree, with a soft smile.

The “I Got Lazy And Decided To Jot Everything Down Instead” Segment

-All this leads to The Reader doing as she’s asked. She still can’t figure out why her help would be needed with a hextech experiment, but she’s not going to pass up the opportunity to spend time with Viktor.

-She arrives at the lab a little later than intended, but only by a couple minutes. The time is inconsequential. She knocks on the door once, before pushing it open and peeking into the room.

R: Viktor? Jayce? Sorry I’m late, I had to help a couple of students with their projects.

-Despite her introduction, nothing is said. There is no movement in the lab, no sound. Even the lights are off, casting the room in a cold and eerie gloom.

-She enters the room, and briefly wonders if perhaps she was TOO late. But then why would the door have been unlocked?

R: Viktor?

-As if on cue, there’s a small clatter as Viktor’s head suddenly shoots off his desk, startling both himself and The Reader. She stares at him with wide eyes, but he only seems perplexed. And dazed. The Reader can’t help but smile.

R: Did you fall asleep?

-He returns her stare for a couple moments, before breaking it to rub at his eyes.

V: It would appear so. Jayce had a prior engagement tonight, and I suppose without his constant chattering, I wasn’t able to keep my head up.

-He looks sheepish.

V: What time is it?

-The Reader shrugs, moving closer.

R: ‘Bout half past eight - not terrible, all things considered. You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lay down every now and again, and get some actual rest. There’s a couch in here for a reason.

-Viktor rolls his eyes at her gentle chastising, though the action isn’t annoyed or malicious. Rather, he seems quite fond of her worrying, despite the fact that such things are usually met with disdain and ignorance.

V: I’m fine, see? Napping at my desk is hardly a bad thing.

-The Reader presses her lips into a thin, disapproving line. She wants to say more, but at the end of the day, the choice is his. She already bothers him enough, with her constant visiting and chatting, and she doesn’t want to give him more reasons to not be around her.

-As if sensing the desire to change the subject, Viktor pipes up.

V: I asked you here for a reason, though.

-He stands, stretches briefly, and leads her over to a small table, upon which a short three-legged stand is set up. Sitting in the crux of its hold is a sphere, about the size of a fist, made out of what appears to be glass.

R: Is…that some kind of jumbo hex crystal?

-Viktor grabs the ball off the stand and inspects it for a couple seconds, then hands it to her.

V: Similar, but no.

-The Reader turns the object over in her hands, studying it closely.

V: It doesn’t generate energy like the crystals are meant to do. Rather, it’s designed to store it, and keep it safe for later use.

-The Reader glances up at him.

R: A battery?

-Viktor nods.

V: Just with a significantly lower decay rate, and less volatility than the traditional hex crystal. If we could implant these into machinery, it would erase the need for fuel, like the original crystals would. It would just be…

R: …less likely to explode?

-He smiles again.

V: Precisely.

-His expression falls slightly, though, as The Reader further inspects the sphere. Rotating it around, and scrutinizing the details, until she finally notices something. Within the orb, a thin sheen of liquid, clear but with the slightest opalescent hue.

R: What’s the stuff on the inside? Does it help store energy?

-Viktor frowns slightly, and sighs.

V: That’s actually why I requested your assistance. When Jayce and I were charging the prototype -the one you’re holding- it…began to fill with gas.

-He takes the orb back.

V: We feared the glass might not hold under the sudden shift in internal pressure, so we stopped the experiment. For now. At least until we can figure out what’s inside, what its purpose is, and how to stop it.

-The Reader nods sagely.

R: And you need my help because…?

-Viktor looks genuinely surprised by her question.

V: You’re adept in chemical science. You study reactions and interactions, and molecular structure. I figured something like this would be easy for you.

-The Reader hums thoughtfully, her mind already going off on its tangents, trying to figure out what the mystery gas-liquid is. She’s never seen something like it, at least not that she remembers.

R: It’s more complicated than you think it is. However, I’ll do my best to help out - so long as you promise not to fuck around with this stuff if I’m not present. I don’t think it’s harmful, but we won’t know until we crack the thing open. And I’ve been wrong before.

-Viktor’s eyes widen at the idea of shattering the orb, but he doesn’t say anything. He knows that the pursuit of knowledge sometimes requires breaking things apart and dissecting them. He eventually nods.

V: I assume you won’t want to open the sphere until you know for certain what’s inside?

-The Reader is surprised now.

R: What? No, I want to crack it tonight. I’m curious. But I do think we should wear gloves. And maybe masks. Goggles too, honestly.

—

-Twenty minutes later, they’re decked out in the best gear they could find. Nothing extraordinary, but hopefully enough to protect them from a little bit of mystery goo.

V: It’s cooled down by now, so disrupting the glass probably won’t be an issue.

-The Reader tosses a towel over the unsuspecting orb anyways, raising a small hammer.

R: It might still be pressurized because of the accumulated fluid. Cover your ears; this won’t be pleasant.

-He does as he’s told for once in his life, and The Reader brings the hammer down.

-As she predicted, the moment the glass cracks, the orb explodes. Not as violently as either of them were preparing for, but certainly very loud. Loud enough that The Reader immediately hisses and drops the hammer, her hands flying to her ears.

-Like some kind of sound grenade, her entire head is left ringing, allowing very little other sound in. Viktor’s attention is on her immediately, neither of them paying attention to the remnants of the sphere. His hands on her shoulders, checking quickly for signs of physical damage.

-His voice is muffled still, but the ringing is thankfully beginning to fade, slowly allowing the world to creep back in.

V: Are you alright? Did any of the debris hit you?

-The concern in his voice is real, his grip on her tight and intense. She’s bordering on hyper-aware of him, though that’s something she deals with frequently. She sighs.

R: I’m okay. The pop took my hearing for a second, but it’s coming back. I…guess we probably should have worn earmuffs too, huh?

-She’s sheepish, and despite their covered faces, they share a goofy grin, which is only obvious based on their body posture. The Reader’s heart is fluttering wildly in her chest now. She’s certain they both look a mess, with all their protective equipment askew, on the brink of laughing wildly.

-Until Viktor pushes the goggles up onto his forehead, and tugs his mask down a little bit. He looks serious all of a sudden, but also looks like he desperately wants to say something. Taking a breath in and opening his mouth.

-Until The Reader stops him abruptly.

R: Do you smell that?

-They both take a deep breath in, curious about the sudden sweet, flowery scent filling the air. They’re distracted for a moment, both of them seemingly growing intoxicated, especially Viktor, who almost seems entranced. Until The Reader gathers her wits, and turns to look at the covered remains of the orb.

-The towel, saturated with an unknown fluid, and a reddish gas pouring forth from it.

R: Shit! Put your mask back up - I think it’s oxidizing.

-She hurries around to grab the glass jar they’d set out earlier, sweeping everything into it with a gloved hand. Even through her mask, she can still smell the deliciously sweet perfume, so delightful that it’s almost making her dizzy.

-But even once the experiment is cleaned up and sealed away, the room is still fogged slightly. She wonders if the gas has changed the temperature, but she doesn’t see how. If anything, the air feels cool on her skin, which has become warm to the touch.

-But she’s worried by the fact that she can still smell whatever chemical was released.

V: Should we crack a window open, perhaps? It’s…a little warm in here.

-She’s relieved that it’s not just her who’s feeling it.

R: We shouldn’t let it spread into the hallway, and we have no idea what might happen if it gets outside.

V: Surely in such a small quantity-

R: It only takes a single bead of mercury to completely destroy a ten tonne aluminum barrel. We don’t know what this stuff is, which means we need to keep it as contained as possible.

-Viktor looks like he wants to argue, but he knows that she’s got a point. He watches silently as she moves over to the backpack she brought, digging out a couple supplies. Little testing kits, by the looks of it, and a fresh notebook.

R: It’ll take more extensive research to figure out what we’re dealing with, more than what I packed. But we should be able to learn a little bit about it, in the meantime.

-She grabs a pen out of her bag as well, and hands the two objects to Viktor. Trying to ignore the electric sensation of their finger brushing for a moment.

R: I’m going to need my hands for this, so do you think you’d be able to take the notes?

-His gaze is trained on where they briefly touched, before snapping up to her face. Dazed, and red on the tips of his ears, he nods.

—

-Over the next half hour, they run their tests. The red mist in the air doesn’t seem to be dissipating or settling, and both of them can smell it clearly. The Reader knows that some of it has gotten through their masks, but her hope is that any harmful properties will be lessened if they’re slightly filtered.

R: Will you read off what we’ve got so far?

V: Should I list ‘lack of focus’ as a side effect?

-The Reader grumbles a little bit.

-They’re both sprawled on the couch now, feverish and sweaty. Both of them have foregone their shoes and outer layers.Viktor’s tie is draped over the arm of the couch, and both of them have their pants and sleeves rolled up as far as they’ll go. Their shirts unbuttoned beyond what is professional, foreheads damp. Protective gear still diligently donned.

V: Fine. Substance: unknown. Oily texture when in liquid form, with the thin consistency of water. Clear in appearance, save for a slight light-reflecting, pearly sheen.

-He tugs at his collar a bit.

V: When the liquid comes into contact with oxygen, or perhaps carbon dioxide, it reacts violently and quickly starts forming a red gas that hangs low in the air. It appears slightly heavier than oxygen, but prolonged exposure suggests it mingles with the particles, rather than consuming or bonding with them. Without external prompting, however, the gas does not naturally disperse and instead remains in a cloud-like formation.

-He turns the page with a shaking hand.

V: In…in liquid form, a particular scent is unable to be discerned, due to it’s volatility with breathable air. The gas, on the other hand, has a strong, sweet smell. Like a confectioners kitchen, or fresh-blooming lilacs. It permeates the room, but is not overpowering to the senses.

-The Reader nods along as he speaks, a little dazed and distracted. The sound of Viktor’s voice is intoxicating to her - he always is, always affecting her in some kind of way. But never like this - never to such a desperate, unhinged extent.

V: While the gas doesn’t immediately appear to be toxic, it does seem to have an effect on the human body. Raising the core temperature by no more than two degrees, it seems to also cause some delay in cognitive function. Perhaps because of the fever, but perhaps because there is another reaction going on in the brain, or the nervous system. Long-term effects are unknown.

-He swallows hard, his throat clicking slightly with how dry it is.

V: The gas…doesn’t appear to…to…

-He pauses a moment, taking a breath.

V: The gas doesn’t appear to have a taste, and the liquid is undetermined. Effects may be different if ingested, rather than inhaled.

-He lets the notebook lay flat on his lap, his head falling back to rest on the couch. Displaying the pale expanse of his throat. The Reader’s heart flutters.

V: Is there anything else you would like to add?

-He sounds breathless.

R: Muh…

-It takes her a second to gather her thoughts.

R: Muscle weakness. And slight tremors. Increased heart rate, and possibly elevated blood pressure.

-He hastily scribbles it down. The Reader tries paying attention to her body, to what’s going on, but it proves fruitless and embarrassing. She’s a scientist, but she still doesn’t want to admit all the ways that she seems to be altered.

-Increased sensitivity to the world around her, the crawling, tight feeling in her lower abdomen - it’s been a while since she’s felt this amount of physical desire, but she recognizes it nonetheless. Lust. Made worse by Viktor’s presence, and her pre-existing feelings for him.

V: You’re distracted again.

-The Reader pops back to attention, and Viktor huffs a laugh, a sound which sends little chills all through her body.

V: I said, is there anything else you can think of?

-The Reader swallows thickly, and despite their mutual face coverings, she feels as though he’s staring right at her.

R: I- um. No. No, not unless you want to add anything.

-He apparently stares at her for a few more seconds, before turning to the notebook to begin writing. Extensively.

-The Reader watches for a moment, before her thoughts and eyes inevitably start wandering. Observing his hands while he works, nimble and dextrous. Trailing up slender forearms, noting all the little dots and freckles.

-Up to his shoulders, surprisingly broad for his lean stature, the sharp edge of his collarbone visible where his shirt is undone. His throat, where she wants to leave countless bruises.

-A new wave of warmth washes over her, then, making it particularly hard to breathe, her chest tight and her throat dry and sticky.

-Suddenly choking on nothing, she fights with her mask for a couple seconds before ripping it off, coughing. Drawing the attention of Viktor. He appears to be startled or concerned by her sudden lack of protective face-wear, but more-so with the fact that she momentarily lost the ability to breathe.

-He reaches towards her out of instinct, but he pauses just before they touch, thinking about his actions before pulling back slightly. As if he couldn’t stand to lay a hand on her.

-Anxiety begins to bubble up. Has he noticed how she’s feeling? Is he put off by it? Angry? Disgusted? He doesn’t say anything, but she can feel his gaze on her. Pensive. Contemplating.

-And then, all at once, The Reader feels dizzy. But not nauseated. Like she’s floating, or embraced in a warm hug. It’s dazzling, and addicting. Is she dying? Is she slowly asphyxiating, after all? What a way to go.

-She briefly notices Viktor making to remove his mask alongside her, but she’s quick to raise a bumbling hand.

R: Keep it on, V.

-He hooks his fingers beneath it.

V: It’s not going to kill us-

R: It’s certainly doing something, though.

-Figuring there’s no sense in hiding it any longer, she yoinks the goggles off her head and sets them on the arm of the couch. She’s utterly faded, and as much is obvious. Her eyes are lidded, and her pupils are blown wide.

-Viktor observes her for a moment, before pulling his own eyewear off, followed by the mask. He flops back into the couch cushions, while the gas takes full effect over him. His breath catches in his throat, before he relaxes fully and goes boneless.

V: Do you…supposed we have mistakenly created a drug?

-The Reader hums halfheartedly.

R: We don’t know the full effects of it yet. For all we know, this is how it kills us.

-He sighs.

V: I have my doubts.

R: I thought I was the expert?

V: You are - I just-

-He sighs again, louder.

V: It’s obviously having an effect on the nervous system - otherwise it wouldn’t feel like this. Every neurotoxin I can think of will kill you in under ten minutes - or at the very least, render you unconscious.

-The Reader swats at him

R: Firstly, there are so many neurotoxins that don’t follow that rule. Secondly, where have you seen this stuff before?

V: I haven’t seen it! I’m just saying - poisons have their limitations, and their rules-

R: Rules are meant to be broken. That’s literally what hextech does.

V: I- you’re not wrong, but-

R: But what? Nothing else created in this lab behaves exactly the way it’s expected to. Why would this be any different?

-Viktor appears to be growing frustrated, agitated, perhaps because of the gas.

V: Hextech still follows the laws of physics-

R: Does it? The hex crystals: a source of perpetual energy, explosive and volatile, yet with no other energetic decay or radiation output?

V: Why do you know so much about physics?!

R: I study chemicals and molecules for a living! I have to know how things behave!

-They’re both riled up at this point, though The Reader can’t really discern why. She feels the same as before - she’s not even upset or angry. She feels good. They’re both sat up straighter, leaning slightly towards each other, like some kind of violent flirtation game.

-They stare at each other for a couple moments, not a word uttered between them. Breathing softly, gauging the other’s reactions and movements. And then, in a split second, Viktor’s hands are on her. Brazenly linking his fingers behind her neck, pulling her closer to mesh their lips together.

CHAPTER TWO (THE PORN CHAPTER)

-It’s hardly even a kiss. Their mouths are open, teeth clicking once or twice, allowing the obscene sensation of tongues sliding together, breath mingling. The Reader gives in immediately, clutching hard at the loose fabric of his open shirt, pulling blindly at it until more buttons pop open.

-She’s positively feverish now, though Viktor hardly seems cool against her, meaning they share a temperature.

-Their lips part for the briefest moment, so Viktor can untuck The Readers shirt and start on the remainder of the clasps. The Reader quickly busies herself with other activities, namely in the form of sucking a dark bruise onto the perfect column of Viktor’s throat.

-A groan rumbles forth, and his hands still for a moment.

-Before he collects himself a little, and continues with his task. Both of them pulling at each other’s clothing, shamelessly groping the flesh and fat hidden beneath.

-All the dizziness from before has changed, morphed into fluttering pulses that travel down every nerve, lit up by each desperate touch, coalescing lower. She still feels elated, high even, especially by the fact that Viktor is actually here with her.

-But rationality is screaming in the back of her mind, beneath all the desperation and desire. Her anxiety, her fear, growing louder and louder. Viktor’s fingers, reaching for the clasp of her bra.

R: Wait.

-He stills immediately, though she can feel the tremble of his body against her own. He peers up at her, pleading, desperate, searching. Waiting.

R: If - if this stuff is acting like an…aphrodisiac…then you’re under its effects.

-Upon hearing her words, he scoffs quietly, and continues with his previous ministrations. Unhooking the clasp with concerning ease.

R: Viktor-

V: If I am under some kind of spell, then certainly you are, too. And yet you only worry about my state of mind?

-The Reader backs away slightly, shame and embarrassment crawling up the back of her throat. Even as she helps him shrug her garments off.

R: It’s different.

-Viktor seems perturbed, pausing again.

V: Why? We both inhaled the smoke. We’re both-

R: It’s just different, okay?

V: Why?

-She’s surprised by the sudden ferocity with which he grips her jaw, nearly forcing her to look at him. The shame bubbles over, and her eyes fill with tears, knowing that he’ll reject her. Knowing he doesn’t feel the same way. That he might even consider it all a hindrance.

R: Because I don’t need a stupid drug to feel like this about you! I don’t need it to want this! And you-

-She sighs sharply, hiding a sniffle, and moves to get off his lap while she avoids eye contact.

R: We shouldn’t be doing this. If you were in your right mind, you wouldn’t want this-

-She’s once again shocked by how hard he grips her, dextrous hands finding firm purchase on the fat on her hips. Pulling her back down towards him, down harder, grinding her clothed core against him, where he’s obviously hard for her.

V: You think that this-

-He rolls his hips into her

V: Is because of a drug?

-He walks his hands up her sides, until he’s able to squeeze at her breasts, kneading her tenderly and flicking his thumbs over her sensitive buds.

V: You think I don’t struggle to remain professional, every time you’re around? The way your pants hug your thighs? The angelic sound of your voice? The scent of your perfume when you lean over my shoulder to watch me work?

-The Reader whines quietly, warmth rising to her cheeks. He catches one of her nipples between his finger and thumb, rolling it around, plucking, squeezing.

V: You think that I don’t take myself in hand the moment I’m alone. Finding my release with your name on my tongue?

-He pinches hard, until she squeals and squirms, and he has mercy. At least until moving to the other side.

V: You think I wouldn’t readily bend you over and greedily take whichever hole you’d let me have? Your mouth? Your perfect cunt? Fuck, your ass would squeeze so tight around me.

-The Reader lets out a shaky, desperate noise, her underwear fully soaked through. Viktor leans forward and wraps his lips around one bud, wetting it with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. The Reader tentatively knits her fingers into his hair, gently stroking the soft, fluffy strands.

R: How was I supposed to know you wanted that? I’ve thought for years that you were only tolerating me - that you were too nice to tell me to fuck off-

-He pulls off of her with a wet pop, almost looking angry.

V: You’re the brightest part of my life. Your kindness. Your humour. Your creativity and ingenuity.

-He leans forward to press an open mouthed kiss to the trembling column of her throat. Nipping slightly.

V: I’ll fuck you until you believe me - and whenever you want after that. I’ll fill your tight little cunt up-

-The Reader warbles at the promise, grinding down against his thigh, desperate for friction of any kind.

V: Or your ass - you’d look so perfect, split open on my cock, with my come dripping out of you.

-The Reader has no idea where the utter filth is coming from, but she’s not complaining.

V: I’ll bring you pleasure; again and again and again, until you soak the sheets - or the floor, the carpet, I don’t care where we are.

-He’s only speaking to her, close to her ear. She’s only grinding against his thigh. And yet she’s so close to coming. Trembling and shaking, whining, gripping his shoulder for balance.

R: I- I’ve never…

V: Never what, milý?

R: Never…n…

-She’s wholeheartedly embarrassed to admit her thoughts. However, he needs to know what he’s working with, needs to know about her inexperience and worries.

R: I’ve never done any of that. I’ve…never even had sex.

-It makes him pause for a moment, his movements faltering, but not for long. Not until he returns with full force, doubling his efforts, squeezing her hips as he helps her grind down against him.

V: You’d let me be your first?

-The Reader huffs a laugh.

R: You’d be my only, if I had my way.

-He groans quietly, and coaxes her up off his lap so she’s standing in front of him. So he can fiddle with the buttons on her trousers, popping them open before sliding them down her legs, along with her ruined panties.

-He watches with rapt attention as a gooey string stretches between the soaked fabric and her pussy. Until he’s unable to help himself, and leans forward to shove his tongue between her folds.

-The Reader cries out the moment he makes contact, swiping over delicate skin a few times, before zeroing in on her swollen, puffy clit. He holds her close by the hips, not allowing her to escape his unrelenting feast.

-She’s just about to come, embarrassingly fast, when he suddenly pulls away and stares up at her with the most fucked out expression. His lips slick with her essence.

V: You’ve really never…? None of it? 

-The Reader shakes her head.

V: Not even on your own?

-The Reader shakes her head again

V: You’ve never pressed a couple fingers into your ass? 

-She shakes her head a third time, growing more flustered.

V: Or come so hard you squirted all over your hand? Not even-

-The Reader feels like she’s about to combust at the mere suggestion of such things. Of course she’s been curious in the past, she’s just been slightly intimidated, not knowing where to start.

R: I could never figure it out! It’s not like I’ve had any kind of reliable source on how to do it! Besides… I’ve…

-She grows shy

R: I’ve heard a lots of guys say they think that kind of thing is gross, and messy-

-He brings his mouth to her again, keeping eye contact, once again working her up to the edge before pulling away completely.

V: Sex is messy, milý. No matter how you go about it - it’s sweaty and sticky, and someone is always slippery.

-The Reader snorts a laugh, some of her tension dissipating when he smiles up at her, warm and entranced.

V: That’s part of what makes it pleasurable. Getting to reduce your partner to such a state - it’s vulnerable, it’s trusting. Even when there aren’t feelings involved, it’s fun.

-The Reader hums a little bit, some of her insecurity rising up again. She tries to hide it, but Viktor knows her well, and takes note of it immediately. Laying a kiss to the soft of her tummy, staring patiently up at her.

V: You’re thinking too hard again. What’s bothering you?

-The Reader chews the inside of her cheek. Contemplating.

R: You just…seem to know a lot about this kind of thing. I feel kind of inadequate.

-She sighs.

R: It’s stupid, I know-

-He pulls her back down into his lap, not seeming to care that she’s soaking his trousers. Encircling his arms around her waist, he brings her into a sweet kiss, tender and gentle.

V: I will not lie to you: I’ve been with…several people. Intoxicated one-night stands, hook-ups with a couple of my old classmates from when I first started at the academy.

-He kisses her again.

V: Trysts that were most certainly entertaining. But…not particularly meaningful.

-He holds her close, letting his head come to rest in the crook of her neck, his hair and breath tickling her skin.

V: If this isn’t something you’re ready for, we can stop. We can go back to our rooms for the night, or you can come over and we can talk.

-He kisses her collarbone.

V: Even if sex is something you never want, that’s okay. I just…I want you. Whatever you’re willing to give me. I’ll happily take it.

-The Reader’s eyes nearly well up with tears again, this time from sentimental emotion, and the genuine love she has for Viktor.

-She cups his jaw, and tilts his face towards her.

R: You say all this like you weren’t just about to make me come.

-They stare at each other for half a moment, before they start giggling and snickering, dispelling nearly all of the tension that had accumulated. Filling both of them with a distinct fondness for one another, and their situation.

R: I want you, Viktor. Tonight, and every night after this - I want everything with you. Sex, romance, that dorky couples’ shit.

-They smile at each other again, but it’s significantly softer this time, warm and affectionate and full of love. Their next kiss is gentle and sweet, explorative and more thorough.

-But it’s not long before their minds start getting addled again, and their touches become harder, hands wandering and grabbing. The Reader tries grinding down against Viktor again, but unlike before, he now holds her in place.

-She’s puzzled for a moment, pulling back to ask him what he’s doing, but she doesn’t get the chance. He dips a hand between her legs and strokes a finger through her folds, still dripping for him. His finger catches on her clit, and she lets out an involuntary gasp.

-His lips find her neck, leaving a slew of wet kisses over every area he can reach, while he slowly slides a finger into her. It’s not much of a touch, and she knows she can fit more, but every sensation seems to be amplified under the effects of the mysterious gas. 

-He pumps tentatively into her, mostly just feeling how she clenches around him, getting used to how hot she is, and how slick. After a moment he adds a second digit, and that’s when he really starts trying to bring her pleasure.

-Crooking his fingers within her to nudge up against her sweet spot, as well as spreading them apart to help stretch her open and prepare her for what’s to come. Marvelling at the obscene sounds emanating from her, the delicious squelch of her cunt and the breathless little moans falling past her lips.

-She wants to roll her hips down on his fingers, to try and coax him deeper, but he keeps his other hand tight on her hip, making sure she stays still despite the fact that she’s trembling with effort. She keens when he picks up speed, slowly beginning to build up her orgasm again.

R: Viktor…

-She’s bordering on whiny, but neither of them really mind. Instead, he lays a kiss in between her breasts, and then peeks up at her with mischief.

V: Do you think you could take another one?

-It takes her a moment to figure out what he’s talking about, but once it clicks, she hastily nods, on the verge of begging him for it. Thankfully, he’s merciful, and wastes no time slipping a third finger into her.

-She definitely feels the stretch this time, whimpering softly when he starts spreading all three digits open, stretching her further than she’s ever gone on her own. It burns so good, but it’s nothing compared to when he curls them inside her.

-The stretch, coupled with the relentless press against her g-spot and the grind of his palm against her slick clit, is enough to send her over the edge. It’s sudden and almost startling, washing over her like a wave and sending warmth rolling down every nerve. 

-She’s not really aware of what kinds of sounds she’s making, or what she looks like, far too focused on the feelings echoing through her body, everything made stronger by the drug.

-Until she slouches forward, breathless and boneless against Viktor. He wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly while she tries to regain her composure, though she can feel him smirking into the skin of her shoulder.

R: Mmn…

-He chuckles airily

V: Surely it wasn’t so good that you’ve lost consciousness?

-His tone is playful and joking, but The Reader wonders if there’s not some vague insecurity hidden beneath it. She stirs a little bit, drawing back from him so she can plant a kiss on his cheek, and his other cheek, and every feature of his face until she gets to his lips.

R: It’s good. Because it’s you, it’s good.

-She reassures him, before drawing him into yet another kiss. They stay like that for a little while, and though The Reader’s head has cleared slightly, Viktor’s surely hasn’t. 

-His skin is still hot to the touch, and his hands tremor slightly when he touches her. She can tell that he’s trying to follow her lead, to not press for more if she’s not the one asking for it, and while she’s grateful he’s being patient and respectful, she wants him to feel good too.

R: You’re allowed to touch me, you know?

-Her tone is gentle and quiet, but Viktor looks puzzled. She stoops down and lays a kiss just beneath his jaw.

R: I can tell that you’re holding yourself back. But you can touch me - however you want, wherever you want.

V: You have no idea what I want. I don’t want to pressure you into things you’re not ready for-

-The Reader sets her forehead against his, looking him in the eye. Her tone is firm.

R: I meant it, when I said I want everything with you. If you think I don’t know something, then tell me. Tell me what you want, tell me all the things you’ve thought about doing with me - doing to me. Trust me to speak up if I don’t like something.

-He groans, a low sound rumbling from his chest, and in an instant, her weight is thrown sideways onto the couch. It’s lumpy and a little uncomfortable, but she doesn’t care, not with the way that Viktor takes up space above her.

-Her legs, held open by his slender hips, the perfect position for him to shove his pants down to the middle of his thighs and free his cock. Thick and heavy, flushed the prettiest shade of red at the tip. He gives himself a couple strokes, and then lets it lay against the slick flesh of her pussy.

V: There isn’t enough time in one night to tell you all the things I want to do to you.

-He rolls his hips a little bit, his cock gliding effortlessly through her folds, sliding against her clit.

V: Every night, there’s a new thought in my mind, a new vision of you. Bent over my desk, crying out for more even though your ass is already split open on my cock. Or helplessly restrained, your legs held wide so I can bring you pleasure again, and again, and again - no matter how much you squirm.

-The Reader clenches around nothing, the ideas turning her on more than she ever expected they would. Filthy thoughts, but strikingly delicious, considering she’s the main focus of them.

-He presses the blunt head of his cock against her hole, but doesn’t quite push inside.

V: I’ve thought about keeping you under my desk during the day, looking all pretty with your mouth full of my cock. Or slipping my hand beneath those short little skirts you like to wear, working you up to the edge but never letting you come.

-The Reader wiggles a little bit, trying to encourage him to slide into her.

V: I’ve also wondered what you’d look like if both your holes were stuffed. I…am not particularly keen on sharing, though.

-The Reader whines.

R: You could make a replica, if you- if you wanted to.

-He seems to genuinely ponder it for a moment, his mind trailing away to how he might go about doing such a thing, especially in secret, since it would be hard to explain. The Reader whines again.

R: Viktor..

-His attention snaps back to her, and she stares up at him.

R: Fuck me.

-He looks like he wants to tease her more, to tell her more about his imagination, but his patience has apparently run out. He grips his cock and slides the head through her folds a couple times again, gathering some of her wetness to make everything go smoother.

-The pressure against her is dull, but it doesn’t take much for her to open up. His cock slowly stretching her open, more than his fingers had prepared her for - it burns, but in the best way possible, making her feel fuller than she’s ever been, than she ever imagined she would.

-She whimpers quietly, and Viktor pauses, looking to her face to gauge her reaction. But once he sees that she’s not in pain, he continues. Deeper and deeper into her, filling her until she can nearly feel it in her throat. He seems to be going on forever.

-Until finally, his hips meet the backs of her thighs, and his movements still. The Reader cracks her eyes open, only to groan slightly at the sight of Viktor in front of her. His hair mussed and in disarray, his grip tight behind the backs of her knees, holding her open.

-His expression, wholly and entirely fucked out, debauched and without a single care. He stares shamelessly down at her, leering over every inch of her body, particularly at where they’re now joined.

-He reaches down to stroke the pad of his thumb over her puffy clit, startling her slightly, and making her jolt. But he’s quick to hold her down, keeping her still with one hand while he continuously flicks and abuses her bud.

-Feeling the way she clenches around him, the way her breath catches in her throat, half-releasing broken cries and sobs of pleasure. As if he truly enjoys torturing her in the most delicious way possible.

-He relents after a couple moments, allowing her a brief respite to calm down. But not for long. It doesn’t take long for him to start fucking her in earnest, pulling out almost all the way before quickly sliding back home.

-He pulls a startled cry from her when he first fucks into her, and a pitiful wail when he finds a relentless pace. Hard and fast, keeping her legs held open and her body nearly bent in half, plunging as deep as he possibly can. Again and again.

-The Reader can barely breathe, the breath punched out of her with each thrust. Her entire body is trembling, every nerve alight with bliss. She grips blindly at Viktor’s forearms, only to ground herself, rather than trying to push him away. Her nails digging into his skin, only seeming to spur him on.

-And then, all at once, her world is turning again. Viktor releases her and quickly helps her flip over, onto her knees and elbows with her ass raised in the air.

-And then he’s back inside her, resuming his pace. The new angle makes The Reader squeak pathetically, as he repeatedly slides over her sweet spot. The obscene noise of wet skin slapping echoing throughout the lab.

-She knows that she’s dripping onto the couch beneath her, but she can’t find it in herself to be embarrassed about it, or even really care. All she wants is to feel good, by Viktor’s hand, and watch as he loses himself to the pleasure as well.

-She slips an arm beneath herself, hoping to get some friction on her clit, desperate for her own release again. But a hand colliding hard with her ass cheek startles her out of it, stinging hot enough to make her gasp.

V: Keep your hands by your head, milý. You’ll come when I say you can come.

-She whines softly.

R: But-

-Another harsh smack. She’s embarrassed by how tightly the action makes her clench, and by the fact that Viktor notices.

-His pace never falters, even as he lays the palm of his hand hard against her again. And again. And again.

V: You’re so sweet during the day.

-A smack

V: So compassionate, and gentle.

-A smack

V: But you’re really a slut, aren’t you?

-Another smack, and The Reader whines.

V: Doing exactly what I tell you to, letting me stuff you full over and over again. Squeezing around me so perfectly.

-He massages the now-tender meat of her ass, soothing the sharp bite of his hand.

-Even without a single touch on her clit, The Reader isn’t sure how long she’s going to last. She feels like she’s about to burst, like she’s never felt before. Nothing like the orgasms she’s had on her own.

-She barely even notices the wet pop behind her, too dazed to take note of much else. But she definitely tenses slightly when something wet glides against her asshole. Persistent and warm, soaking the velvety flesh.

-She whimpers when it breaches the ring of muscle, slowly, sliding into her where she’s never been touched. It’s the strangest sensation, though not a bad one. It sends little goosebumps all over her body. And it takes a moment, but eventually she realizes it’s Viktor’s thumb, spreading her open.

V: I’d love to have you here…

-His words are punctuated with the movement of his digit, allowing it to slide in and out of her in time with his thrusts.

V: But not tonight. 

-He leans down and presses a kiss in between her shoulder blades, his movements slowing down for a moment, and The Reader whines at the loss.

V: Not enough patience, right now.

-He straightens up again, and resumes fucking her, with a renewed vigor. Removing his thumb from her, watching as she squeezes around nothing. Gripping her hips to pull her back to him.

-The Reader is nearly boneless with the onslaught of pleasure, and it’s all she can do just to breathe properly, allowing him to do whatever he pleases to her, enjoying every moment of it.

-Then, the grip on her hips tightens by a fraction, and Viktor’s pace begins to grow sloppy and uneven. She knows that he’s close, and, willing to risk his ire, she tentatively slips her arm beneath herself again, in an attempt to rub her clit.

-He notices.

V: You just can’t help yourself, can you?

-He’s breathless and rough. But he doesn’t try to dissuade her this time.

V: Come for me, then. Fuck - let me feel you-

-All it takes is a couple swipes of her fingers, and her entire mind goes blank. The outside world fades out of focus, and all she can feel is the blinding pleasure of her orgasm, more intense than she’s ever experienced. Knowing Viktor is the one who’s made her feel like this. Finally.

-His thrusts falter for a second, growing quicker for the briefest moment, before he pushes in as deep as he can, and stills. Nails digging into the fat of The Reader’s hips, a debauched, broken cry falling past his lips, while he curls inwards, his forehead coming to rest against her back. Hair tickling her skin.

-Both of them stay there for what seems like forever, trembling and catching their breath, letting their orgasms run their course and gradually dissipate. Letting the world fade back in, and their minds clear.

-Slowly, tenderly, Viktor wraps his arms around her waist, carefully pulling her up into a sitting position, and then coaxing her backwards. The two of them now reclining somewhat comfortably against the arm of the couch, with her back on his chest.

-He lays kiss after kiss on her exposed shoulders and neck, on any piece of skin his lips can reach. Stroking his hands over her abdomen and sides. Neither of them say anything for a little while, not having the mind yet to form words. Not even having the wherewithal to pull out of her.

-After a couple minutes of gentle touches and affection, though, they’re finally able to speak.

V: It…wasn’t too much, was it?

-The Reader hums

V: If it was too much, you need to tell me - I won’t go so far next time-

-A grin stretches across The Reader’s face, and she turns slightly towards him.

R: Next time?

-He presses a kiss to her cheek.

V: Of course ‘next time’. I told you earlier, yes? I want you. All of you, for as long as you’ll have me.

-The Reader’s heart swells with warmth, filling with love and affection. She squirms around in his grasp so she can lay more comfortably over his chest. Both of them wince when he finally slides out of her, and his spend dribbles after.

R: We have so much cleaning to do.

-Viktor presses a kiss to her hair, and then to her lips.

V: No more than any other experiment would warrant. We have the rest of the night to make things presentable, though, so…let’s stay like this a little while?

#viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #arcane x reader #viktor WIPS #cherry WIPS #im definitely gonna finish this one eventually #but for now i just need to do SOMETHING with it #viktor nsft

[manicpixiedckgirl]

okay, so i posted a timeline. sue me! i quit all other social media last year and needed that dopamine hit. just a lil nicotine patch for online attention. seasonal depression is a bitch okay. i posted it here and to ig, bc ig is to late millennials what facebook is boomers. and people have all said some very nice things, but when you're posting a 10 year timeline, you're usually hoping for someone from your past to see it and go "woah! you're so different now"!

and whaddya know, this time it worked. one of my exes from when i was a teenager saw it. not one of the ones who turned out to be a lesbian, one of the ones who turned out to be a trans man. He just wanted to say hi - that he was so happy to see that i looked happy, and that i looked incredible, especially compared to the scruffy twink they had dated. (okay those are my words not his)

he and I didn’t have a great relationship at first - no one had a great relationship with me before i realized i was a trans woman obviously, but this was pretty young. I was really repressed and weird back then, and still very much without any social graces, and we were only like 16. they caught the full broadside of my emo fuckboy energy and got out fast once they saw that - i don’t blame them. I was crying in their arms about how much i hated my new body hair, and how i wanted to be able to wear dresses, and the next day i’d be completely emotionally unavailable and denying all of it. not exactly boyfriend material, not entirely boyfriend. They were very traumatized too in their own way, just realizing they were trans too, and engaging in a lot of ‘i want to be a gay man’ antics, fucking their way through the pain. He was frankly way too cool and sexually liberated to be wasting his time with that version of me. And it was very obvious to everyone who knew what that was 12-15 years ago that i was a closeted trans girl. we had a friend group that eventually fell apart, and we parted for the first time.

Later, in our late teens/20, we would end up fucking - i had started to accept and announce that my gender was complicated, and i was starting to be kinda faggy and loud about it, and not everyone hated that, and they had just started T and were boy horny. We split a bottle of wine (or was it two? It was probably two) and started watching an ashley tisdale movie. Looking back on it, how it went must definitely have been his plan, but i’ve always been blind about this stuff and was that night. It was definitely bad sex, but it was also fun sex - the first time I enjoyed myself,  and the pressure of having to be a guy wasn’t so overwhelming i didnt effectively black out. he’s one of the first people i ever talked to about feeling complicated about gender, and i think by then he had figured me out, and was just letting me get the rest of the way on my own. I still couldn’t top for him, i never rly could top for anyone, even before estrogen. but we still had fun, with our hands and with our mouths. and then after that, we'd go to art shows and poetry readings and hang out again occasionally, like we talked about doing when we were literal kids, putting on rocky horror in our front rooms.

but life takes you away from people, and he got into film school, and i somehow graduated my chemistry program and moved to the US. he moved to Germany for a while, although i hear he's back home. i got married, got separated, there was a global pandemic. we hadn't talked in years, although i had snooped on him once or twice. He’s a director now - he’s made some impressive arthouse films, all horror and gender and kitchy campy cerebral themes. He’s got a big tv writing credit on the way in irish tv. Idk - it felt rly good to impress him, to say hi, to remember. it's really cool to see other trans people thriving and living life, always. anyone who cleaves reality to themselves and fashions themselves into someone they can love is someone who impresses me. but it's different when it's someone you've known for almost half your life - someone you were a fucked up kid with, not sure if either of you would make it to 18. and to be smiling at each other, looking at 30, and wondering what's next. i'm really proud of the both of us actually. and i needed that today.

#trans #essay #diary

[nicki0kaye]

Some dumbass in the comment section of a youtube vid about how AI Art bros are jersk tried to make the argument that genetics determine talent and I kind of popped of. Turns out the comment thread I replied to is like 200+ comments deep and now no one is going to see my small novella about genetics v talent, so I've decided to share it here...IN TWO SEPARATE PARTS bc apparently it is too long and tumblr cant handle it alskdjflskjdf.

Hi, I'm the genetically gifted artist you're trying to cite for your argument. Both of my birth parents were artists in several fields and despite being adopted by a different family, I know that I've inherited most of their interests and am proficient at all of the things they excelled in; art, writing and performance to be specific. I now make a living as an artist.

You're also entirely wrong about how 'talent' works and how inheriting 'talent' works. What I inherited from my parents were their mental disorders. Adhd, Autism and chronic depression. Autism forced me to be far more observant of my peers if I wanted to have a social life. Adhd gifted me time blindness and the ability to hyperfocus on whatever tasks gave me dopamine, and Autism complimented that nicely with a shock to the nervous system when I was expected to change gears out of what I felt was safe into something I did not.

I had many avenues before me because of this; theatre was what my adopted parents assumed I would pursue. But then chronic depression came in with the steel chair at the end of highschool and no, no I did not do theatre, that shit takes too much energy for too long of a period of time.

So. Art.

Why am I so genetically good at art? Well, and this is again Probably The Autism, I'm very good at recognizing and retaining visual patterns, I'm super interested in body language and costuming and micro-expressions--all things I need to pay attention to if I wanted to be liked by allistic classmates--and drawing quite literally regulates my nervous system, so I'm gonna do it often just to cope.

I don't have a fucking 'artists' gene. I have a brain that is predisposed to certain pattern recognition and through access to resources (GLASSES, I AM BLIND AS SHIT AND WITHOUT GLASSES NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE) was able to find and cultivate hobbies that either worked with or helped regulate the myriad of bullshit I won through the genetic lottery.

I'm a good artist bc I put in the work. I put in the work bc my brain is wired to really like certain work. It didn't have to be art. If i were less depressed, it could have been theatre--either writing, performing or directing. If I was less autistic, it might have been something with more abstract thinking and less focused on decrypting human expression and repurposing it in ways that I Personally Like. If I was less ADHD, it could have been more academic studies, like Marine Biology since I really wanted to do that when I was little. If I didn't have exercised induced asthma, it could have been competitive swimming, bc my swim teacher really thought I had a gift for it. If I didn't have dyscalculia, it could have been something that involves number crunching and long distances, bc I don't understand that shit for beans, completely locking me out of a large chunk of possible careers.

And maybe without all of that, I wouldn't have had the perfect cocktail to give enough of a shit to be good at anything. Maybe I would have just been an office clerk, making a decent wage and filling my cubicle with anime figurines.

#AI art #AI art bros #talent #genetics #art #artist