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viburnt · 5 months

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Divorcing Izuku Midoriya Headcanons

I'm on a creative rush, and this may make zero sense because I'm tired lmao. Anyways, have some angst <3

Tagging the babes: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot @trickster-kat @angelshimaa (babe, you've missed some very angsty posts) @xhieru @mimisxs @dabislittlemouse

Content Warning: Divorce, emotional abuse and manipulation, mention of baby-trapping, alcohol.

• As I said in my last post, divorcing Izuku is a nightmare. Think about the most energy-draining and mental health deteriorating process, and multiply it for a minimum of 6 months. Izuku won't make things easy for you at all, trying to drag and prolong the whole ordeal just to keep you close. I've divided this set of headcanons by key moments/topics to keep some order. I hope you enjoy them, I'm pouring my heart on these (also pay attention to detail because I'm working on something hehe).

Denial and confusion: the first days after you serve him papers

• Izuku genuinely doesn't understand why you want to leave, refusing to accept the fact that you're not happy being by his side. He's given you all there is to give: a comfortable house, nice clothes, expensive cars, etc. So when you serve him papers, Izuku's first reaction is confusion followed by fear. In that head of his, he's made everything a good husband has to do! So why? Why would you not be happy?

• If you were smart enough and planned your movements with care, you should be able to go through your divorce without depending financially on Izuku or having to live in the same place. You'd have to deal with his incessant calls and texts, often having to block unknown numbers to avoid hearing his whines, but it'd be less difficult. If you weren't thoughtful about the situation and proceeded without the right steps, oh, you're in for a treat: there's nowhere you can go besides the house you shared with him, no place where you can be at peace. You're at Izuku's mercy, like it or not, but that's another story.

• In addition to his denial, Izuku starts to (unconsciously) guilt trip you. Phrases like "Sorry for not being enough," and "I know I'm very pathetic" become frequent. It pains your heart to hear those things because you know Izuku loves you, you are just not compatible at all. You try to let him see it's not about being enough, it's more about effort; with much patience, you set things clear to avoid any misunderstandings, but Izuku just doesn't get it.

• "Haven't I done this or that for you? Didn't I buy you all these things? Am I not enough?" "Izuku, I didn't ask you for any of this, all I wanted was my husband..." Conversations like this occur during this phase, and they can only be held through the phone (when he is sober and not yelling/hollering how much of a mistake a divorce would be). He tries to gauge sympathy from you, telling you that his job is important but that he loves you so much!

• He becomes an empty shell of the bright ray of sunshine the public knew. It goes unnoticed by many, but the people who work around him can tell. It is then when he starts telling others about his marital situation, and you end up seeing faces you've met once or twice during galas or hero events. You "accidentally" stumble across your husband's colleagues, like Ochako, who try to convince you to give him a second chance. "I- I know we don't know each other a lot but please, consider it. Izuku is a great guy a-and I'm sure you guys could fix any problem!" It is embarrassing for you because no one wants people to know their issues.

• What's so ironic about the moment when you serve him papers is that he receives them at his office, the very root of all the problems in your marriage. It was the place where he had spent anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's... those four walls witnessed the beginning and the end of your relationship. Izuku has a mental breakdown when he finally reads the documents but, hey, he was still pro-hero Deku, right?

Negotiations and lawyers: The first weeks and months

• If having to deal with Izuku's colleagues trying to change your mind wasn't enough, be ready for your soon-to-be ex trying to negotiate. Midoriya suggests couple's therapy to talk this through, and for a split of second, it almost sounds like a good idea! But then you remember all those times when Izuku had promised you he'd be there for you and failed. It didn't seem plausible after that... Besides, all things considered, it'd be hard to find a therapist who could see your side of the story. Who would dare to tell someone as charming and popular as Izuku that he failed as a husband?

• Once therapy is off the table, Izuku brings up children. It may be considered a low blow, especially if one of your dreams was to form a family with him, so his offer felt cruel. "W-we can have kids! Wouldn't you want that? We can be a big family, with one- No, two babies!" "Ouch, it takes a divorce for you to even think about it, huh? That's uh, slightly concerning. Besides, a kid needs a father too... I'm not planning on being a single mom in this marriage" Now, Izuku strikes me as the kind that would try to . to stay. I'm sorry if it sounds terrible, but considering how sometimes he acts on impulse, he really could try it.

• Izuku also tries to be at home more often; he "cooks" (it's takeout disguised as home meals), brings you coffee to the bed, and calls you all kinds of sappy nicknames... It saddens you, why couldn't he care like that before? Of course, this point only applies if you still live with him during this whole process. If you don't, he starts frequenting the places where he guessed could find you: cafeterias, plazas, shops...

• Finding a lawyer for you was a hard task, especially because everyone sees you as a "dumb" woman who is trying to divorce Japan's number one hero. Not to mention they were very expensive, and Izuku was certainly not giving you money for that. You tell Izuku that mediations need to happen to progress with the divorce, but he never shows up to the meetings. There's always an excuse for that man! No matter how much you plea, he refuses to sign the paper. Izuku also becomes very mean towards you, outright berating you for not understanding him. It's gruesome to see him turn into such a monster during these months.

• As an additional point for this part, Izuku hires a private investigator to follow you around. He feels bad for thinking of it, but the idea that you could be seeing someone else while you're trying to divorce him eats him alive.

Last resort: Mediatic battle

• The media is very quick to pick up your marriage's fall down. Time after time you visited your lawyer's office for them to put two and two together, and Izuku takes that to his advantage. Sensationalist articles had already been happening, a lot of them being cruel and demeaning towards you. Titles like "Is she a cheater?" "No amount of success gives you the girl!" And "Pro-hero Deku will be looking for a new wife soon" started popping up. You have to take down any social platform to avoid being targeted.

• It is when Izuku gives a public declaration that things get worse. "I'm sorry, my wife is just not happy with me anymore. Please respect her wish! Don't harass her, I failed as a husband." It may seem like a hearty and sorrowful declaration from the outside, but Izuku picked word by word to gain sympathy and pressure you into changing your mind. People in the street call you "heartless", and the stress simply keeps growing for you.

• To put it in simple words, you were David against Goliath, except Goliath was a glorified person who had all the resources and support of the people. You were nothing but a tiny mouse squeaking to be set free of a relationship that was suffocating you.

The aftermath: Supposing you haven't given up and he signed the divorce papers

• If you somehow manage to divorce him after all these problems, congratulations. You survived 5% of the drama that awaits you! Now you won't be able to date someone without people snapping photos for entertainment news or judging you for leaving "such a great man". Izuku will still try to convince you to go back to him, playing his "sad lover" role in front of the cameras so well! He'll try to send expensive gifts and tell you to keep the house, he'll call you drunk in the middle of the night, and if you're not careful enough, he may try to gaslight you into thinking nothing wrong was happening in your marriage.

• One particular thing I must mention is that Izuku only signed the papers after you yelled at him at one of the legal mediations, hot embarrassment tears falling from your tired eyes as you begged him to let you go.

• Anyways, the list could go on, but those are the main points of divorcing Izuku :')

"Please, just sign the papers..." You said through the phone, your voice tired of pleading to someone who simply refused to hear you. "I will, I will! I'm just a little under the snow with work. Can you reschedule?" Izuku said, apologizing for not being there for you. Excusing himself for failing you, but refusing to let go. "You know how many articles I've seen with my face saying how much of bitch I am for visiting my lawyer's office?"

Izuku's silence was deafening, you could only hear him sigh slightly, perhaps feeling bad for putting you in such a position. "I don't want this divorce."

"But I do, so don't make things more difficult for me, please." He heard you say, biting his lip to hold back the tears. Izuku was glad you couldn't see him, sitting alone in his office with a half-empty bottle of wine you'd gifted him for his birthday. "Do you remember what day is today?" He asked.

"I don't know, Monday? I haven't slept lately." You answered unamused. "It's our anniversary... we married 5 years ago, on this very day." His words came out as a slow slur, his breath hitching as he crumbled through the phone. "I miss you a lot, please-"

"I'll see you on Wednesday, if you're not there I swear to God..."

...

"Mr. Midoriya?" Your lawyer called, her voice bringing your anxious husband back to reality. "Ah, sorry, it's me. Is... is she in there?" He asked, pointing at her office. She just looked at him with little sympathy and nodded. "On time, as always. Maybe you should avoid keeping her waiting, that's the least you could considering how many times we've had these conversations."

"There's no way I can fix this, is there?" Izuku asked as if the lawyer cared. "Wanna do something nice for her? Divorce her."

#my hero academia #izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #deku angst #izuku midoriya angst #divorced Au! Yeah I think Im gonna make a whole Au #I need a nap #Feedback is appreciated

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niphredil-14 · 5 months

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pls write some fluff for raph <3333

its 2 am rn so i just want something comforting to read lmao. maybe some headcannond about trying to get a peaceful nights sleep while ur crime fighting boyf sneaks back into ur room after patrolling/a mission?🥷🥷🥷

ty bby

METRONOME OF AFFECTION (2012 Raphael Hamato/Reader) Warnings: some pining, some light insecurity, lots of fluff, friends to lovers word count:1794 notes: tumblr wouldnt let me post this all at once so i was forced to break it up.

Protecting a city as massive and crime filled as New York was far from an easy task, no matter how many people were on the team, and in some cases, the team could add more to his plate than they took anything off of it. From small annoyances, and petty arguments to full on battles, it didn't take long to wear Raphael down, he could feel his patience falling away from him like loose scutes. Every little inconvenience and setback sticking to him like algae on his shell. By the time that the bright moon, clouded by the fog and smoke rising from the city, had begun to set over the skyline, Raph's feet were dragging with every step, his very bones ached, and what risked becoming a permanent scowl had carved itself onto his face, his mouth curving downward, pulling awkward lines down his jaw from his beak. The group had all been heading towards their go-to sewer cap, located in a small, cramped alley in the Italian district, right next to a small Mom-and-Pop pizzeria that they had April and Casey frequenting on their behalf. The closer they got to their equivalent of a doorstep, the more Raph's appetite lessened and a strong sense of dread set into his chest. He did not want to end his less-than-ideal night with going back to the lair, with people who has spent the past six hours doing nothing but getting on his nerves, only to brood and stew in his misery, holed up in his room or the dojo until the stars rose yet again as the next evening dawned, where they would all rinse and repeat their ass-kicking and name-taking routine, he needed an escape, and he knew exactly where to go. He had stopped walking, letting his brothers and friends build a gap between them as he slowly melded with the shadows, turning and heading east. After five minutes or so, he would send them a text, just before he arrived at his destination, letting his family know that he was okay, and that it was just a bit early for him to crawl back to the sewers to hide from the world again. Pausing after sending the text, letting the dim blue-light from the screen minimally illuminate his face, he hesitated on their fire escape. The window led into their living room, and he could tell that there was not a single light on in their apartment, save for a small night light kept plugged into the hallway outlet, so that they didn't trip if they had to get up in the middle of the night, as they so often did. The last thing he wanted to do was disturb their sleep, he knew that with everything they had going on in their life, that they weren't getting nearly enough, and yet he couldn't stop himself from at least slipping in to use the first aid kit they kept underneath their bathroom sink, and making sure that they were okay. He placed his fingers underneath the window, and let out an exasperated sigh when it lifted open without resistance. The number of times he had warned them to keep all their windows locked was as impossible to count as the stars with the naked eye. He faced the evil of the city every night, he knew what hid in the shadows, he knew the monsters that would give anything to hide in their closet or under their bed, he could be counted among them, though for contrasting reasons to the other freaks and low lives. Silently crawling through their window, with some struggle due to his sheer size, he made his way to the kitchen first, grabbing a glass of water, and some of the snacks they had begun buying once Raphael's visits became more frequent. He smiled to himself in the dark of the kitchen, his heart touched at seeing that they had restocked his favorite snacks. After having a quick bite, he snuck into the bathroom, taking out the first aid kit an patching himself up where needed, which fortunately for him, was not much, he hadn't gotten more than a few cuts, and only had to remove two bullets. He slid the kit back into the cupboard and shut the door behind him, walking as quickly as he quietly could towards the end of the hall, where their bedroom was.

The door was closed, but he could hear their soft breathing behind the door. Their breaths were slow and even, and he was sure that they were in a deep sleep. He felt as though he shouldn’t intrude, but they had always told him that he was always welcome, no matter the time or the day, and maybe, he thought, he should just do a quick check to make sure a necklace they forgot to take off wasn’t choking them and that there weren’t any intruders or creepy-crawlies hiding in the room, waiting for the perfect moment. And so, he slowly opened their bedroom door, cringing at the low squeak that resulted. He froze, waiting for any sign that he had disturbed them, but their breathing did not change, and they only slightly shifted. It wasn’t the first time that he had shown up in the middle of the night, and though he always felt so guilty about it, he knew how it usually ended, with them tucked close to his plastron, as the two cuddled close underneath the comforter, drifting off to sleep, with only a small stream of light creeping in through a small crack in the blinds. And yet, though this was far from his first time entering without prior notice, he was afraid. Afraid that it would be the last straw, that they would turn him away, tired of his company, tired of his existence. Despite his fear, the turtle took a step into their room, and then another. He walked around the perimeter of the room, checking the closet, the blinds, and any other potential hiding spots, before making his way over to the side of the bed. He did not lift the covers, just stood there, blocking the small bit of window light, and casting a shadow over their form. They looked so peaceful that he couldn’t help but just stop and stare, unable to fathom how someone as gruff and rough around the edges as him, someone with a shell even harder than their head, could end up with someone who made them feel so soft. Looking down at his friend, the one he had loved for what felt like several lifetimes before his own, he felt a sense of hopelessness. He loved being close to them, and yet he was so sure that they could never feel anything more than platonic, if even that, for him. Sometimes his brain turned its rudeness towards him, yelling at him that they only ever kept him around out of the kindness of their heart, out of pity, that he was a charity case, that they would never willingly want to be with a mutant such as him. In a moment where he wanted to be close enough to crawl inside their skin, but was to fearful of the rejection, he could only grant himself any sort of reprieve from the tightening of his heart, by lightly brushing his finger along their face, tracing swirls on their cheek. Being with them was as torturous as it was heavenly, they gave him a safe haven when he needed an escape, but with their gift of hospitality, their bright smile and caring eyes had planted a seed of sickly sweetness deep within him. He didn’t know how they had managed to reach through his plastron to tug directly at his heart strings, puppeteering him like a string marionette, but they had and there was no one else he would rather have such control over him. And just as he was about to let his hopelessness consume him and leave, their eyes slowly blinked open, their head lolling to face him as their gaze followed his arm up to his shoulder, jaw, then face. A sleepy, almost drunk-like smile graced their features, and his heart swelled. In a moment of vulnerability, they had smiled at him, so genuinely he was convinced that it couldn’t have been an act of pity.

“Hey, Big Guy.” The exhaustion seeped into their words, slurring them. His voice caught in his throat, and he coughed, clearing his throat.

“Hey.” He replied, trying to pull his hand away from their face, unsuccessfully, as they grabbed his wrist and tugged them towards them, lifting up the covers for him to crawl under. He sat down on the side of the bed, undoing the wraps on his feet and hands, and taking of his belt an harnesses, finally taking off the bandana as well, before finally climbing into bed with them. It was a small bed, twin size at best, which did not leave much personal space between them. He hovered his hands on his side, until they shifted forward, hugging him as they buried their face in his shoulder. “Sorry for waking ya,’ Doll.” They shook their head, nuzzling into him some more in the process.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Raph. You know I’m always happy to have you. It’s been too long.” He gave a light chuckle, caving to the cuddles they both craved, and pulling them even closer to him.

“It’s been three days.”

“Exactly, that’s far too long to be without my love.” Raphael sputtered, and he was sure that if reptiles could blush, that he would be red as the first roses, dyed with the blood of Aphrodite herself.

“You love me? Like, love me, as in, a more-than-friends kinda way?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“’Course I love you, Raphael, you think I’d let anyone else break into my apartment at five in the morning to wake me up for a cuddle sesh? You’re my everything.” As embarrassing as it was, he could feel his tail thump against the mattress behind him.

“You’re my everything too.” Raphael replied. He wanted to tell them that he loved them too, but the words were too heavy in his throat, and too scary for him to let escape just yet, so he settled for mimicking their last sentence, and lowering his beak to gently press against their forehead, to mimic a kiss as closely as he was capable of with his beak. Giving them a tight squeeze, he shuffled even closer to them, nuzzling the top of their head, and drifting off to sleep, with their hearts synching to beat together as a metronome of their affection.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt x reader #tmnt raphael #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael hamato #tmnt raph hamato #tmnt raphael x reader #tmnt raphael hamato x reader #tmnt raph hamato x reader #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt 2012

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eusion · 6 months

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i love ur work omg >< can i req maknae line as long distance bfs too? ^^

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪&team maknae line as ur long distance bf ⌒☆

pairing ⌒☆ &team maknae line x reader

word count ⌒☆ idk...

note ⌒☆ thank u for requesting! this was hard to think about since i just think about hyung line exclusively LMAO enjoy!

yuma ⌒☆

sends u lots of memes and silly videos on tiktok. u both have the same humor so hes always excited to share new ones with u

always invites u to play games with him whether itd b just u two or with his friends, he never fails to invite u

same with movie nights

always wears the beanie u sent him & complains that its starting to smell less and less like u

sends u so many selfies in .5 after u introduced it to him this one day. now that he knows u find them hilarious he will send them as often as he can

i dont see him fting much tbh but will always text and check in frequently with a "u doing okay?" message

likes to plan out dates with u, even if its just for fun & not to actually plan. he just likes to be with u even if its just in his mind

as a date u two make little crafts together over ft

"do i grow out my hair or cut it" and does the opposite of what u tell him

jo ⌒☆

takes pictures of the little things because he knows how much u love to see picture updates

learned how to make those big knit blankets so he can make his own to give to u

sends u handwritten letters very often along with printed polaroids of the pictures u two have together

u have several of his art pieces framed on ur wall

when u both debrief about ur days he always asks a lot of questions so he can hear u go into extreme detail

props up his phone on his nightstand when going to sleep so u can see him snooze. he wakes up earlier than u do so he wont end the call until u wake up

asks u what ur plans are for the day n sometimes he will try n match what ur doing

when u two plan a day to meet up, he crosses out the days in his calendar above his desk every morning until the day of

ur name in his phone is just ur name but it has this emote next to it ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

harua ⌒☆

lots of ft calls with him sitting in his car while snacking

loves to see what u bought from the store n always begs for a haul with u going over every item in detail

matching phone cases that u both bought together, he has not changed it out or taken it off since

hes very playful so theres a lot of banter between u two but itll always end in laughs. hes more than comfortable enough to play around with u & this means a lot

flirting but in a cringe way. the amount of winks & kisses through the camera never fails to make u both shiver

"why arent u here..." in a sassy tone but hes :(((

study calls are a very common thing between the two of u & hes always willing to help u out even if he doesnt know it 100%

always has the sweetest compliments ready for u & will always be the first 10 comments on ur instagram post

while hes out shopping he sends u pics of things n asks "do u like this?" n will buy it 99% of the time if u do

taki ⌒☆

u both binge watch a lot of shows & will get really upset when he finds that u watched an ep without him on ur shared netflix account

his friends always send u off guard pictures of him n when u show him hes extremely confused

always yells a good morning message into ur voice memos. sometimes he'll sing it

fts u with all of the lights off n when u ask him to turn on the lights so u can see him he uses a handheld flashlight n points it under his face

has blocked u more times than u both can count because he thinks its really funny

"when we meet up next time lets do this tiktok challenge"

his every day bag is equipped with all of the pins, chains n small plushies u gifted him

when ur too tired to talk he reassures u that its okay n that he can talk for u so u just sit n listen with ur eyes closed

sends u random videos throughout the day of him dancing

maki ⌒☆

always brings u along to watch his night routine, will prop u up on the sink so u can watch him brush his teeth n wash his face

matching profile pictures on almost everything. whenevr he posts and his icon pops up he smiles so wide because he knows ur the other half of it

records & sends u mini vlogs if he goes out and does something fun n will always end the video with him saying "miss u!"

whenever u two are on ft and his family is in the same room, he always turns his phone around to face them n says "say hi!"

everyone in makis circle knows u very well because he cannot stop talking about u

plays roblox with u when u both have free time... ur avatars are extremely goofy

has fallen asleep on cam many times & u have multiple screenshots n video recordings of him snoozing

99% of his bereals are of him n u while ur on cam

study nights always turn into 5hrs of u two watching random videos on youtube

#&team fluff #&team scenarios #&team #&team imagines #&team x reader #&team jo #&team yuma #&team harua #&team taki #&team maki

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jeridoesntdourls · 4 months

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Saw @vesuviaweekly 's prompt for MC dynamics wanted to talk more about my guys!! Sadly I have not completely nailed their designs yet so for now I'm just going with text! I personally treat my MCs as less of MCs and more like LIs so I'm gonna also include what I think their dynamic with the MC themselves would be! As you'll notice my MCs are all residents of a country I made for the Arcana universe myself if you want you can see more about that here. Minos' entry is a bit undercooked but I'm rushing to post this before the deadline ends LMAO. All of these gorgeous banners are by @cafekitsune

edit: put in a link I forgot to put the first time lmao-

BOREA NORCHE // she/they

with the MC

Borea knew MC before they died of the plague and worked alongside them and Asra to find a cure. She succumbed to the plague herself only a few weeks after MC and was buried beside them as her last wish. She was brought back by making a deal with the Heirophant and not knowing MC was brought back by Asra, debated staying in Vesuvia to stay near MC or to leave and look for Asra. They ended up unable to do either and were ordered to return to their home country, Tua, by the Heirophant. She returned to keep her end of the deal but both her and Tua had dramatically changed. On her arrival she began to keep her emotions in and dutifully began to work as Tua's magic consultant.

At some point MC, along with the LIs, would take a trip to Tua (for diplomatic reasons as Tua has a considerably new government now running it) and Borea would be one of the more respected officials at the Syndicate meeting. Asra had heard from Nadia about the more prominent figures that would frequent this meeting but, still believing that Borea has died, hadn't thought much of it.

After they first encounter her at the meeting Asra evades her and tries to explain their relationship to the MC as they have not gotten a hold of all of their memories. He is unable to explain in time and is interrupted by Borea herself who began looking for the MC.

Their dynamic in this Era is very different than it was in the Plague times. Borea is, at first, in denial, she embraces the MC and they have a bout of their headaches, this makes Borea only more desperate which makes her hold on even tighter. Only Asra is able to separate them from the MC and pull them aside to explain what happened.

Borea is absolutely crushing under the weight of everything, running a new government, meeting the two closest friends she's ever had after years of assuming she'd never see them again and having to learn about MC's resurrection makes her even more prone to completely isolating herself from the Vesuvian guests. She eventually has to converse with Nadia and, ever observant as she is, makes Borea explain her adversion to them.

From them on Nadia slowly begins to work to re introduce both Asra and the MC to Borea. At first she's a force to be respected, acting professional to an absurd degree but that facade begins to decay into something nervous and unsure. MC has to reassure her that her feelings are important and need to be felt (in her upright end at least) and she begins to explore her pent up anger and longing with them.

I would describe their final dynamic as old married couple(ish) in that they have SO MANY idiosyncrasies and can practically read each other's mind. Borea is very much a closed off and firm individual for anyone other than their family, MC and Asra. With those people, she is able to express that reckless curiosity and boyish side she had hid for so many years.

with Asra

They have a very similar dynamic with Asra than with the MC. The only difference is that Asra ALSO has a tendency to run from his problems so Nadia has to work overtime to make them both talk to each other. It takes a mishap with the Buzia House and Borea stepping in to rescue the group to make them talk to each other.

They work in compleat harmony but after they get to safety they go back to being unable to have a conversation longer than three exchanges. Despite that, Borea refuses to leave Asra's side, keeping watch for any other threats to his safety. In doing this Borea over exerts herself and Asra has to make her take a break before she colapses in a meeting.

They go over their years apart, recounting tails and making each other laugh. Slowly they begin to work together again as Mage Commissioners.

Their dynamic is honestly the one which would take the longest to happen. Very much an AGONIZINGLY slow burn and re kindling. Asra needs to work through so much guilt in regards to leaving Borea behind and Borea, like in MCs route, also needs to work in being honest with her feelings and losening her grip on relationships she think she'll lose.

with Nadia

With Nadia she has the most light hearted dynamic, very much liege and ruler but the roles keep switching between them both. They're both givers and Nadia really is the best person to make Borea learn how to actually accept being the one receiving.

On Nadia's route we also get more of a focus on the politics of Tua and the conflict between the new Syndicate government and the Buzia House's integration into it.

overall

Dates with her definitely include stargazing and going to the beach at any time but especially at night. She'll be at home to just nerd out about the constellations and the planets, even reconstructing their partner's favorite ones with their orbs.

Relationships include lots of late nights and reassurance. She has a tendency to try and do everything for her partner, so she needs someone who can make her slow down and take care of herself. She would love a partner who is also proficient in magic and who can help her create laws and boundaries for the new Tuan government.

ATTIS SALVO // he/him

with the MC

Attis is exceptionally cheerful at first meeting. As he is one of only members of the Buzia House willing to collaborate with the Tuan government he feels the need to keep up the appearance of harmlessness to not potentially cause a rift between the two opposing sides.

He's very much used to working alone. Loves his community and family will all his might but the weight of the future falls into his shoulders most times. This, combined with the fact that he really can't entrust his problems onto that community (his sister specifically) because they continuously judge any action he takes makes him weary about working with anyone else.

Working with the MC to ensure the exchange doesn't cause another civil war really strains him at first. He's lived through a bloody revolution and his family only became the engineers and weapon makers that they are because of Vesuvia's betrayal. That history along with his personal habits of doing things alone cause him to be weary of the MC at first. That weariness only ever comes out in passive aggressiveness, he's very adverse to any conflict after years of playing diplomat.

This relationship really only changes when his parents pass and he, along with his sister, are left to rule over the entire House. Under all the additional stress he begins to impulsively turn to the MC as a distraction. MC needs to make it clear that they actually feel something for him or else he'll continue to use them eternally.

He's the oldest out of these three characters which means he's had lots of experience with partners, none of them ending well. When MC first confesses they do feel something for him, he's in shock and already making some excuse as to why they wouldn't work.

MC would notice his panic and have to calm him down for him to notice that he also feels something for MC, even if that something isn't as clear cut as MC's feelings.

with Julian

Attis only notices Julian after his parents passing when rumors begin spreading that they were assassinated by the Tuan Syndicate who used the Vesuvian's to infiltrate the Buzia House.

Julian, sketchy as ever, is high on Attis' suspect list. This list is kept hidden from the public and he'll talk about how false he believes the rumors are to anyone who will listen.

He tracks Julian down and as a last resort, Julian uses his charms to try and escape. For the first time in his life, it actually works and he is able to momentarily flee.

After that they fall into a pattern of cat and mouse and feelings develop much to Attis' dismay.

Julian's confession and Attis' reaction play out similarly to MC's but Julian stumbles and trips over himself to explain that he didn't kill anyone which makes Attis reach over to comfort him.

overall

He's very sensitive even though he keeps his emotions to himself, he's prone to crying over things that have already been resolved and just ignores any emotions that aren't productive because "he's got a job to do."

Also very prone to falling back into nostalgia, that longing for things that have passed ossifies him and keeps him from doing anything productive so he keeps those memories for when he's alone.

His dynamic with a partner would make him a lot more playful, he feels as if he finally has someone who understands him and is in HIS corner.

Dates include just staying home and letting the sun pass by. He's never intent to sit still for too long so he'll fiddle with the clasps of his revolvers or his partner's hand.

I'm not sure what I'd describe their dynamic as but I think Two Idiots in Love covers it well.

MINOS FERNI // she/he/they

with the MC

Minos is a pretty difficult person to get into a relationship with. Even if they like a person romantically they fervently ignore it both in fear of being rejected and their own self sabotaging ways.

They were born into the Heilist church and even after its reformation by the new Syndicate, they inwardly still believe the old doctrine. That includes the ideia of a cycle in which humanity is doomed to commit the same mistakes and suffer infinitely, the old Heilist god would then forgive humanity for their treasons at the time of death and welcome them into the sky.

Minos believes that any break out of that cycle (the revolutions and the new goverment) would forego the forgiveness given to him by God. So, his dynamic with an MC would have to be SLOW. like VERY slow. and very patient. At first it's almost certain that Minos would dislike them and it's only after comming to terms with their repression that they might be open to the thought that MAYBE they like the MC.

Mino's main emotion is guilt. Guilt for not attending to God as he should and guilt for not attending to his community, its only when he realizes that those two things overlap that he can hope to move on to a less painful existence (in his upright end at least). Their relationship in the later staged reminds me of Martin and Jon's dynamic from TMA. Hes trying his best not to be a tyrannical force of magical horror.

with Lucio

Minos hates hin at first. Its very rare for them but his pompous nature and disregard for consequences makes Minos crack and finally show some of their true own true nature. Ironically enough its this initial crack that opens the floodgates of Minos' person. They begin to hunt Lucio down as a way to try and make things go back to how they were. Very much a Hannnibal and Will adjacent pairing. (Lucio in this AU/expansion of sorts is a lot less silly)

with Muriel

haven't put much thought into this pairing but i think that if they both got past their inicial distaste for each other they woukd work out wonderfully.

overall

Don't think she would go on dates but she'd definitely take MC sightseeing and show them around the more historical spots around the city. They would be a very devoted lover (a little obsessive if im honest) and only ever vulnerable with them. Honesty and grappling with their own identity are still new to them so they would definitely need someone who's ready to spend nights on the church roof talking things over and putting things into perspective.

#Borea Norche #Attis Salvo #Minos Ferni #the arcana oc #the arcana worldbuilding #the arcana #vesuvia weekly #tua

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claraxbarton · 4 months

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You might have answered this before, BUT I’m a recent follower and curious ok!! Generally speaking, what is your writing process like? I’m genuinely so impressed by how many different fics you’ll have going simultaneously and they’re all updated SO frequently. AND THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD?? Like do you have vague plans/outlines or drafts that you expand on/edit? Your accountability post will mention writing a few thousand words and then there’s an update the same day and it’s written so well lmao it blows my MIND bc it seems like you just come up with the plot on the fly and then casually write a lil masterpiece after work like it’s nbd. All of this to say I appreciate your work so much ♥️

So uh, to start off with, I'm guessing when you say you recently started following me, you're probably just reading my HRPF fics? I SAY that/ask that because I've bounced through a few fandoms and I kind of go back and forth between being VERY prolific and finishing up projects and kind of... losing steam.

To be fair to me and not to scare anyone off, before this year I have, for the last decade and change, been juggling two full time jobs, part time work, childcare and a lot of volunteer work PLUS trying to write so like, I'm cutting myself some slack on abandoned projects. Because I'm finally down to 1 full time job and 1 part time gig that is only during the summer. I will ALSO say, in December I switched meds for my anxiety/depression so I'm on a new dose, new meds for the first time in 5 years and I do think that's been really impactful in a positive way.

SO, exposition and TMI out of the way:

I wish I could say I had a really clear process that I follow every time, but I don't want to lie. I create docs with notes - I'm thinking about including those as an epilogue chapter on the fics I'm currently working on, if anyone is interested in my scribbles aside from myself and my beta - and SOMETIMES I create outlines. A lot of the time, I will write a chapter or two and THEN create the outline? That's what happened with Gold Rush, but also with Gold Rush, I have already deviated from the outline like... a lot.

I'm trying to be way more chill with myself than I used to be. I was in this deep grind of forcing myself to be productive because that's where my value was (@kangofu-cb is a real one and has been trying to beat this out of me for years. Beating with love). And I'll be honest, being kinder to myself and putting less pressure is, like, so far, so good.

I usually have about, like... a dozen or so fic ideas in my head at any one time (@dwisp can attest to the DAILY messages of 'hear me out' as can @kangofu-cb), but I uh, I really feel 4 long fic is my simultaneous max.

I also have a problem with like, so if you DO want to read some of my not HRPF stuff, I think a good primer is the WinterhawkHood month I did in October with a fic a day, and the consistent issue is: I feel like I'm really good at creating a premise and that premise wants to exist beyond 2-5k. So longfic is probably the format to best tell the stories I want to tell, but, like, writing shorter fic is a lot of fun? That also does NOT answer your question.

Oh! MUSIC! It's so so so so important to my process. I used to put on specific artists, like really get into a singular vibe for a fic. But these days it's just my routine sleepy sad girl playlists (name coined by a former assistant and like she wasn't wrong). Which also probably explains how much sad sack Leon there is in my current fics. I should probably like, get some new playlists going...

Uh, in terms of like, my style/my ideas... so my professional life is theatre adjacent, and I think because of that, dialogue and THE INCITING INCIDENT are really important to me. So usually any fic idea forms around the kernal of the meet ugly and some choice words.

Like, for Gold Rush, I absolutely started from the idea of Leon being a bitch to the press and getting a text from an unknown number/Matthew and it just grew from there.

For Playing Favorites, I absolutely wanted to have former camboy Vince realize his new... work colleague??? Adam Larsson knew he was a former camboy. Which is funny because that moment happens in the middle of the fic (which I AM going to update again soon, y'all might vote consistently for Gold Rush in the polls but this weekend I think it's gotta be some love for my two Lars&Dunn fics).

For Northern Attitude, that inciting incident is, uh, about to occur in ch4 that I'm currently working on. And it's. Well. Yeah. So I got the idea for that 'scene' if you will first and then figured it out backwards?

For Wildfire that, too, has an inciting incident that has yet to make it into a chapter. But she's coming soon.

So really, only Gold Rush started as the beginning as far as ideas went for me? That said, I still START at the beginning when I write. I used to scribble down scenes and then piece them in, but I honestly found it constrained me more than anything else and I'm aware that doesn't make much sense.

I feel like this entire answer is a total nonanswer of me just blathering away. I hope at least part of this is what you wanted and uh... sincerely? Thank you for asking. It means a lot and like, my process is weird and inconsistent but I do genuinely love to talk about my writing.

#wow #talk about yourself more #no but thanks for the ask #this was a lot about me #sorry to anyone who def did not want to read this

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limeade-l3sbian · 1 year

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i was going to leave it at just the shipping discussion at first, but i decided this bothered me too much, and i need to vent it out. i've had this on my mind for quite some time but i don't know many people into atla who are radfem or adjacent, and i absolutely do not trust anyone outside of radfem circles to not have the most status quo, heteronormative, male-centric, "things are exactly as i first imagined" / "i cannot imagine right or wrong or natural outside of the literal text given to me by the original writers" views on this topic (based on my own experiences with trying to talk about atla with others).

the show would have been far better if zuko were a (gnc) girl and azula were a boy. i know you may be resistant to this because i know you had at least some level of a formative crush on azula, but i'm begging you to hear me out on this one.

aside from the fact it would give a hero role to a fully gnc girl (as opposed to partial, like suki or toph), it just makes sense. zuko not being able to get approval from ozai no matter what, while azula is favored at every stop turns into a matter of familial misogyny, rather than "azula is just naturally better at being evil" (which takes a vaguely eugenicist angle when considering the comics, which say that zuko is probably not ozai's kid, but azula is). it doesn't matter that zuko is older, it wouldn't matter if she were more cutthroat, it wouldn't matter if she were better at bending, it wouldn't even matter if she caught the avatar. a patriarchal dictator like ozai would always favor a son over a daughter.

second, it would make all of the fire nation characters' situations more realistic and more poignant, in general. aside from the aforementioned favoritism towards a son over a daughter, it would make azula's characterization as a violent narcissist who believes (s)he deserves ownership and control over the world make more sense, it would change the context of mai and ty lee standing against azula for the sake of zuko (and each other) into a vaguely anti-feminist situation to a wholly feminist one (i don't ship mai and zuko at all, so the context of being a romantic couple here doesn't really matter to me; it could be motivated by romantic love or platonic love and solidarity imo), it would make zuko and katara's relationship and growth stronger (both of them would have a history of facing near-constant misogyny that served as barricades in the way of the direction they want to take in life), and it would almost completely erase the uneasiness of the fact that zuko was entirely redeemed and azula wasn't redeemed at all (even in the comics), because the real life context of violence and perpetuation of harmful cycles committed by women vs men supports that women can very frequently recover and be redeemed, and men recovering and being redeemable is much less common (because they don't want to).

this is just one aspect of the series i could talk on and on about, by the way, but this post is already too long. as a bonus, though: i believe this minor change would give so much more potential for better lesbian ships than whatever was happening in lok (which i hate for a number of reasons; mainly that it completely destroyed previous worldbuilding and i felt that the plot was just outright stupid in comparison to the original series, and the shipping stuff in that show was sooo...ugh. as i said, a completely different topic i could go on and on about).

OKAY WAIT ANON BECAUSE - AUGH YES WAIT!

It is true that I had a crush on Azula, but I'm almost CERTAIN I would've come out much earlier if Zuko had been the female GNC sibling LMAO.

I think the decision to make Azula the evil one and all that was based on making a good, long term female villain. I think the creators were trying to break a few barriers (which, in many respects, they absolutely did!). But what you're saying would have played so much deeper and allowed so much more insight (canon or otherwise) into this world. I imagine having a GNC daughter would also foster some resentment from Ozai compared to Iroh who has shown in canon time and time again that he's not going to get pressed about a bender's sex (I avoided the rhyme on purpose).

I haven't read the comics so correct me. But to me, Ozai always appeared to be a traditionalist where it benefited him. The topic of gender bias in the series isn't nearly as touched on as they could've gone. And in a way, I understand because it is technically a kid's show and as far as I'm aware, they were constantly on thin ice with Nickelodeon. But goddamn would this have made the whole show just that extra layer of *chef's kiss*.

My basis for Zuko and Katara were the usual points made. But what you said just AUGH ANON YES 😭😭 it would've been amazing! 😭

Talk as much as you want! Leave a whole essay for me to read idc when you're this based. 🫶🏾

#ask

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sandrockianblues · 1 year

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Any cute hcs of Andy and Jasmine? 🥰

I will die with this ship. They’re the purest things alive and if I don’t see them in a future game, married and together, I will riot.

🦸🏼‍♂️Andy🦸🏼‍♂️ + 🧸Jasmine🧸

-I don’t even need to say it, but I will anyways.

-Andy fell first.

-Andy got to hear all kinds of stories from Logan and Haru about this little girl that he was just a bit older than. How they revered her like a little sister and spoiled her.

-Jasmine’s crush develops over time without her knowing. And she remains unaware of her feelings for years to come until she’s edging into becoming a young adult.

-literally everyone in town knows about Andy’s crush and undying love for the girl but her (but that’s another post for another time).

-remember how I said Andy is the fastest runner and can even beat Jasmine? How they have bets and races? He’ll sometimes let her win just to make her smile

-they’re both a charmer in their own right. Really, the whole town spoils them. They’re just both unaware that they’re charming to the other. Granted, Jasmine remains unaffected by his charms until they grow older and it becomes gradually harder to ignore the effect he has on her.

-boy is so whipped and smitten. It only grows stronger the older they get.

-tourists have tried to start a small romance with him over the years, but to no avail. Andy literally only has eyes for Jasmine and this ain’t no Grease story

-Jasmine has had crushes on other boys though over the years, much to Andy’s dismay. He fights through it with an encouraging smile and hopes that the family will leave Sandrock like the rest or that those that live nearby, like Burgess and Haru once did, will frequent the town less.

-you know those pacts a pair of best friends will make when they’re young? Jasmine and Andy made one do those.

-when they’re a certain age and still single, they’ll get married and stay together. Jasmine sees it as a financial benefit at first, Andy sees it as a sign of hope.

-god, I wanna cry for this boy

-Andy makes it so blaringly obvious that he’s in love with her and has been, the signs becoming stronger over the years while still subtle and she’s like “he’s become such a great guy since I first met him. What a fantastic friend🥰”

-asdfghjkl

-sIS

-Andy asks Pablo to teach him techniques on how to do hair just so he has a valid excuse to play with Jasmine’s

-she actually buys his stuttered excuse that Logan used to have him braid his hair because who would think that he learned just for her?

-or for Rambo

-the first time she questioned her feelings was when Jasmine was contemplating traveling before settling down. And Andy asked where they’d go first together. When startled and questioned him why, he said he wouldn’t let her feel alone, especially in an unfamiliar place.

-that she didn’t let him feel alone when he came to Sandrock

-*screeching*

-JASMINE PLEASE

-after apologizing profusely for having circled the murderer character’s name in her book and thinking it was his- the two decide to start their own “thing” where they both read books at the same time when they’re free, and write in the book with their own opinions, theories and thoughts. Then they trade the books for the others to read. They keep it going even when they eventually marry and build a life together.

-Miguel is just happy that they’re consuming so much text and books. He’s not gonna question it. They’re reading more than kids their age typically do. This is good, this he can get behind.

-lmao it is so obvious when they get into a fight.

-Jasmine is a blushing red of angry and suddenly finds herself at the Blue Moon, grumbling under her breath while still trying to mind her manners as Owen slowly pushes a plate of cookies in her direction while side-stepping out of view

-and Andy is literally quiet and sulking around the whole day. He can’t apologize until she’s ready, they both know that (even if he’s not at fault 💀). Don’t be too surprised if you find the kid laying on the ground curled up around Nemo staring off blankly while stroking his fur. He’s fine.

-when a fresh batch of tourists come in, the two tend to stick close only because of how crowded it gets. Not because a whole lot of people come in, but because they’re not used to Sandrock and they just take up a lot of space in their wandering.

-oh, but if they’re older and those tourists coming in are their age and students traveling around for their study? It’s no surprise that the two are everywhere together to give the illusion that their friend is taken.

-ao3 tags for when they’re older: mutual pining, idiots in love, unreciprocated feelings but they’re reciprocated, slowburn, but only because they’re dense as hell, Jasmine pls ffs, soft!Andy, y’all pray for my boy, childhood friends to lovers

-word count: over 200,000 words.

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yellowocaballero · 11 months

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no, keep writing long answers. whenever i send in asks and the reply is 'no' or some quippy gif or 'yes. [link to post that answered my question already]' it just devastates me. i feel like i wasted everyone's time and the answerer is just scorning me behind the screen for doing so lmao 😭

I find that it helps me a lot to approach life from the basic assumption that people don't care that much about me and that they don't have a lot of strong opinions about me. I mean, think of it this way - how often has a friend texted you and you went 'ugh, this asshole again, I hate them'? Or how often have you heard a classmate give the wrong answer in class or say something wrong and went 'what a moronic waste of space'? How often are you mentally unkind to others? Hopefully not that frequently. Even when you are, how often it is anything more than you taking our your own bad mood on another person? And the kind of person who thinks these things about friends or even strangers frequently, from pure bad spirit instead of just a tough day or a personal issue, isn't really the kind of person whose opinion I care a lot about.

Anyway, from my experience with bloggers who give short answers - they get a ton of asks every day and don't have time to respond in depth to each one. Or they just don't have a lot to say. Or they enjoy acknowledging asks but they feel awkward talking too much. If they respond with a link to the prev question, then they really just don't feel like taking the time to type everything out again! I give stupid long answers because they're about my fic and I love talking about my fic, I assume that most people following me are here to read my fic background and opinions, and because I don't get that many asks lmfao. On days when I do have a full inbox my answers are always a lot shorter. If I was some BNF or something I'd definitely talk a lot less. Also I just naturally am a big talker, and not everybody is. All of that's about me and nothing to do with the anons. Dw about it!!

#my asks #its rough being a BNF pour one out for the BNF homies who dont have time to give in depth answers to everyone #when I was super depressed I was just so mentally unkind to everybody #from just thinking unkind things about others to projecting my own nasty thoughts onto other people #and once I got way less depressed then magically like #everybody around me became nicer and liked me more #the ppl around me didn't change #but suddenly they were doing things because they were tired or distracted or upset and not because they hated me #and it got a lot easier for me to be kind and generous to other people which made people be nicer to me in turn #we generally aren't as mean to others as we are to ourselves

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dankovskaya · 11 months

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Hi sorry asking anonymously because I'm super embarrassed but how do you have conversations with people on this site? How do you interact with people?

Well okay I've had various different blogs on here over the years so I've done the whole "aggregating mutuals" thing from scratch multiple times and honestly it all just comes down to not being afraid to chat with people directly I think. The best thing to do is really just find blogs that have things in common with you and ideally are already kind of "chatty" (as in making personal/conversational text posts relatively frequently, writing thoughts and opinions in the tags of posts they reblog) and then...chatting with them. Reply to their posts in a friendly way or comment on their tags when you reblog the same post from them. You can also send them asks directly with a thought or question or compliment or something but that feels a little more pushy imo lmfao. Not inherently bad, it's just that I think most people who have been here for a while are used to getting random asks from strangers that are alarming or unpleasant so seeing a notification in your ask box can be foreboding 💀 And idk talking in replies/tags just feels more casual to me. Inside voice. An ask is kind of like someone coming up to you and sticking a microphone in your face and less like actually speaking to someone on equal terms.

There aren't hard rules or anything tho and if you're on here long enough you'll probably get used to um. The "etiquette." Which isn't even universal in the first place lmao. The only things I would avoid are like. Reblogging someone's post and commenting directly on the post itself unless you're already friends (very alarming. Who are you and why are you stealing my post.) and just generally acting overly familiar but that obviously goes for real life too. Don't expect most people to follow you back instantly either btw and it's not like an insult if they don't. It just depends on the person? Some people will see a blog with similar interests who seems normal and just follow back instantly regardless of whether you've ever spoken directly, and some people might wait until you've interacted with them a few times before they consider following back, and some people may just never follow you back if they're not interested in what you're posting. It's not about you personally 😭 And some people have a looooot of followers already and therefore a looooot of people trying to interact with them, and so you might just get lost in the crowd. Some people also have been here long enough and had enough bad experiences that they just never follow new people, or even block new people who try to follow them. Just remember none of it is personal 👍 They don't know you any more than you know them. Be normal and kind and you will survive 💖

#Sorry if this is excessively long these are just my observations about how the tumblr ecosystem tends to work #And really. Truly. It all comes down to putting yourself out there are talking to people respectfully.#Basically the same as real life.#I wouldn't directly message someone you aren't mutuals with like in the dms unless you can solve a problem #they're having or something along those lines btw Lmfao but maybe that's just me.#ask

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tfw-no-tennis · 2 years

Text

mtmte and reproductive themes: an analysis

your local medical scientist/biologist LJ dives into the complicated reproductive themes presented in tf: mtmte

ok so amongst my liveblogging I realized I still haven't given my reproductive biology thoughts, and now seems a good time since I couldn't fit it in during remain in light

so basically, ik everyone memes on jro for the mpreg and the general reproductive themes present in mtmte/ll, but honestly I see why he went that route? w/the repro themes, not the mpreg lmao. and even the reproductive stuff has some weird terminology/vibes so I totally get why everyone memes

anyways, basically...[puts biologist hat on] so from a purely scientific standpoint, there is this: the biological imperative is reproduction. as in, the entire POINT of biological species - the reason they exist, their main goal in their existence - is to reproduce and carry on their genes and their species

now obviously this is a bit general, and a lot of people would say ‘hey I don't agree with that, I don't want kids, etcetc’ to which I say, exactly! this is a scientific generalization, and another factor is that humanity is very advanced, especially compared to a lot of other biological species, so of course humans, with our capability for advanced thought and philosophy and whatnot, would not strictly adhere to this

biological species can be categorized as r-selected or k-selected - r-selected (think r = rapid) are species that reproduce frequently, have short lifespans/life cycles, and produce many offspring. example: fruit flies. k-selected species reproduce less frequently, have longer lifespans and life cycles, and produce only a few offspring at a time (so, humans).

so r-selected species are more likely to adhere closely to the biological imperative - fruit flies exist so they can produce as many offspring as they can before dying, and since their lifespan is so short they spend almost all their time alive working towards this goal

now, back to the alien robots - so, cybertronians are NOT biological. so it stands that the biological imperative of reproduction above all else wouldn't apply to them. which, as we see from canon, seems true. most cybertronians don't really care about reproduction or carrying on the species

and this isn't as big of a problem when your species is basically immortal. it becomes more of a problem when your species goes to war for 4 million years and most of you die

then it’s like, oh shit, a lot of us died and also we don't have any sort of easy, obvious way to make more of our species (unlike any biological species)

which is why it makes a lot of sense that cold construction was invented as a way to create more cybertronians once the hot spots stopped popping up

cybertronians are also interesting bc they don’t easily fall into k-selected or r-selected categories (makes sense, since they’re not organic). in terms of being r-selected, they are capable of rapid reproduction (MTOs) through artificial means, and they have short life cycles (no sort of ‘childhood,’ unlike k-selected species), but for k-selected, they DO have very long lifespans, and they don't put nearly as much focus on reproduction as most r-selected species (which, again, they’re not organic, so trying to classify them with these terms is arbitrary)

so it makes a lot of sense that after the war is over, a lot of cybertronians would shift focus towards the question of, ‘how does our species continue on when most of us died and we have no way of reproducing?’

so what I’m saying is, jro IS valid bc this is a logical question that would arise in post-war times

also, it makes me wonder what the cybertronian/mechanical imperative would be - is it ‘war’? that seems pretty harsh, but that could be interesting as a theme in-text, with a lot of the organic aliens hating cybertronians, and cybtertronians having a reputation for being a war-mongering species

oh man also. reproduction and religion are typically closely tied (think about with christianity and the virgin mary, and all the other bible stories about birth/pregnancy/babies) - because a big question of religion is ‘where did we as a species originate from?’ and different religions answer that in different ways

for cybertronians, it makes a lot of sense that they would have a variety of religions with their own unique takes on where the cybertronian species came from...it’s also a good alternative to the idea that the cybertronians were BUILT rather than born/created by a god/gods

like the g1 origin where the quintessons built them - which, yknow, that’s a different continuity, and also it’s g1, where the transformers were much more robots/cars rather than aliens/living mechanical beings...but it’s interesting to think about the quintesson origin being a bit of a horror story to the idw tfs; the idea that they were created as machines by another sentient species is pretty fucked

anyways that's digressing. the point - even though cybertronians aren't biological, it seems safe to say that as a sentient species, they would have some slanted interpretation of that biological imperative in place - namely, that cybertronians would want their species to continue. secondary to this is reproduction itself - could cold construction be considered reproduction? are sparks springing up in hot spots reproductive? is ‘reproduction’ defined here as a new life being created, or as an act between one or more individuals that leads to the creation of a new life?

interestingly, that second definition would put cold construction in the ‘reproduction’ category, but not hot spot spark production.

more digression...basically, it stands to reason that cybertronians would have some drive to continue their species, which manifested in the creation of the cold construction method (and later, the construction of MTOs is a war-based slant on that same philosophy)

but during the war, reproduction largely took a backseat to fighting - MTOs were produced to aid in the fight, not necessarily to continue on their species in any significant way

and now that the war is over...it makes sense that reproduction would become more of a priority, especially considering what a huge dent the war left in the cybertronian population

cybertronians...are like certain fish species. some fish species breed semi-rarely, but are designed to live very long lives and get super big and ancient. and if they breed often enough, and the older ones live long enough, you have a nice balance of old-ass fish that can breed to newer fish that don't breed

the problem is fishing - a lot of these species have been heavily fished, and the big fish - the breeding fish - are the ones taken to eat. this leaves the population skewed towards young fish, which isn't how the species is supposed to be structured

this is why some fish have an upper length limit as well as the typical minimum length (like striped bass) - bc the DEM wants the really big breeder fish to stay in the ocean where they can make more fish

lmao how did I end up talking about fish. anyways

so basically. cybertronians are like this - they live a long ass time and don't reproduce (via hot spots appearing) very often, which creates a good balanced population - or it’s supposed to, if you don't go to war for 4 million years and decimate a large chunk of the population

so the whole...mpreg baby thing also kind of makes sense bc, there’s kinda a population crisis going on, so its logical that various cybertronians would explore a myriad of ways to reproduce, including looking to organic species for inspiration, since organic species generally have built-in reproductive capabilities (and those reproductive capabilities come in many different forms)

think invertebrates performing parthenogenesis because there’s a skewed female population. generally in the biological world, sexual reproduction > asexual reproduction, because sexual reproduction garners a much higher level of genetic mixing (which is a healthy thing for a population, generally)

but under duress, some species can perform asexual reproduction as a failsafe in order to ensure continuation of the species, even if sexual reproduction would be preferred

so it would make sense that the cybertronians would be attempting to explore all of their options, because they’re pretty much in the red in terms of population

ok that’s all I've got tonight folks. feel free to talk to me anytime about this stuff or any biology/science wooooo

#GUESS WHAT I FOUND IN MY DRAFTS LOL #lj rereads mtmte #now theres a tag i havent seen in a while #ill get back to my mtmte liveblog someday i swear #transformers #ahhh i love overanalyzing media through a scientific lens. fun stuff #mtmte

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aelaer · 1 year

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Hey dear, do you still play the ask game? If you don’t mind, here’s 🎁💡💘? Thank you so much for your answer!!!

From this post.

This one actually reminded me that it existed and I finally had a couple hours of energy to answer them yayyyy.

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff? I can write both, so long as neither is romantic in nature ahahahah. I don't know if either is easier or harder in nature--it more depends on my mood? I think it's harder to write a contained plot with fluff that isn't wildly OOC with the characters I write. It's definitely possible, and done quite well by some authors, but I think it can be harder. There's more angsty situations presented in canon and by the nature of their personalities.

💡How many WIPs do you currently have? Oh boy. So I am *not* counting the ones in the LOTR fandom that have remained untouched for like, a decade, haha. RIP LOTR. With the MCU... *sigh*

Ones that have a lot of content for them (one-shots are over 50% done, multi-chaptered fics have at least 20k written): 4 pieces

One-shots that have a scene written for them that I'm still planning to finish and publish: 2 pieces

Multi-chaptered fics that are unlikely to ever be finished/published due to being crossovers that I was way too ambitious about: 2 pieces

One-shots that have outlines that I still plan on completing: 3 pieces (these are all prompt fics requested in 2019 and 2020... I'm so sorry... the asker likely isn't even in the fandom anymore, lmao)

One-shots that are remaining prompt asks that have nothing planned yet: 2 pieces (including the new 2022 one from blossom, I'm so sorry, lord know when I'll get to it with this current schedule)

Floating snippets that are just ideas with no set plot to them, and thus may never be published beyond this blog: 3 pieces. Snippets really.

So 6-16 depending on what you count as a WIP.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share? I posted two of the snippets in the other asks. Here's one from a one-shot that's like 90% done, I just need to figure out how I want to end it (which is harder than I'd like -- endings can be rough for me. Will probably need to ask my beta for her ideas because it hasn't gone anywhere for 2 years >.<)

.....

It was during one passing group, just as he was about to give his excuses, that Wong learned that the kid had super-hearing. A rather unfortunate time to discover such a fact.

And once Peter learned the news, it was just a matter of a few texts before every Avenger knew.

"We'd like to help out," Tony said, being the first to call Wong. Wong had given his number to a couple Avengers on the off-chance Stephen was wounded while working with them. He hadn't expected his number to be used in this fashion.

"Us sorcerers handle our own affairs," was Wong's gruff reply. "Besides, aren't you supposed to be retired?"

"Special occasion."

Wong said, "We're fine," and hung up before Tony could retort, then sighed. Stephen would be displeased if Iron Man ended up dying after all the work he did to save him in the multiple future fiasco. He was just happy Stephen managed to get to 16 million (and severely lower the amount of time it took to get everyone who left back), but that was another topic altogether.

Then Tony gave out Wong's number to the others.

"It really would be no trouble," Steve said. "We consider all of you our allies after Thanos."

"You're supposed to be retired, too," was Wong's exasperated retort.

A pause. "Well, I did pass on the mantle of Captain America to Sam, sure, but that doesn't mean I don't go out in the field here and there. Just less public."

Wong hung up on him, too.

"We really would like to see him safe," was Bruce's call.

Bruce was a little harder to hang up on; he had been visiting the New York Sanctum frequently for meditation purposes, to better understand and work with the other side of his personality and come to some sort of balance with it. According to Stephen, Bruce had achieved something like this on his own in other futures, but he was certain the resources at Kamar-Taj could help him achieve this faster and with potentially better results.

Still, Bruce Banner was not a sorcerer. "I appreciate the offer, Doctor Banner, but this is a matter for our order," he told him, then hung up before the other could retort.

"It's pretty slow right now; you'd be doing everyone a favor in letting us help," Natasha admitted when she called.

Wong pulled the phone away from his face to sigh; if it weren't for the very slim chance of Stephen potentially calling him, he would have turned off the damn thing. "Weren't you supposed to retire from field work, too?"

"People like me never retire," she answered. "Think on it, Wong."

He grimaced and hung up.

"You have to let us help!" was Peter's plea. Peter had been barred from the Sanctum until the issue was settled—Wong knew that Stephen wouldn't want the kid involved—but apparently Tony Stark was more than happy to give Peter Parker his phone number, as well.

"Stephen would want you to stay out of this," he told the kid without ceremony, and hung up on him, too, though he felt a little bad doing it.

This was getting ridiculous. The other Masters had decided the Avengers shouldn't be involved, but if they had to endure what Wong was enduring, maybe they'd change their minds. Besides, the extra eyes wouldn't be a bad thing to have, at least in Wong's opinion.

By the time a sixth call from an Avenger in under an hour occurred, Wong was ready. He positioned himself in the Masters' strategy room as they discussed leads and next steps, then let the phone ring beside the others.

They caved in less than two hours.

#ask #answered #anonymous #my writing #wong #stephen strange

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aydascomprehendsubtext · 1 year

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While I think the general Vibe of glass onion is less class warfare and more a particularly vicious satire of bad rich people I think Helen's final act burning the Mona Lisa is really weird and almost rubs me the wrong way in the opposite direction?

So like to start in a story way she absolutely has to burn it. Like it's the most chekovs gun to ever chekov. It's very well done visually with shots that parallel her and the painting, it's the narrative punch of the thesis about disruption.

But I also don't love it as a political message? Mostly because I'm also not impressed with the idea that the most devastating way to harm capitalism is by destroying... what we colloquially call high art and culture?

Two critiques to deal with first: First of all I've seen people say it's not the real Mona Lisa but honestly I can't stand that interpretation I don't see it in the actual film text I think it ruins the impact of it I do not see it. Secondly! I think that post I just rbed about knives out being movies that love kinda being Good at stuff is absolutely right. Theres a veneration of intelligence and Real creative works and artistry and Knowing stuff in all this. And I think there's a ton of problems with that. On the one hand I'm compelled by the idea that it's a critical first step to dissolve the perception that these tech dudes or politicians or celebrities DO actually know what they're talking about. Like I do think persuasion in this area specifically is a noble goal. But yeah probably more importantly it's a very cringefail liberal John Oliver fantasy to say that's enough to win! And that absolutely extends to high art - the first knives out the punchline about the kids is that they can't do complex creativity, don't appreciate their fathers art because they're nepo babies or whatever. Like wow yeah he's the good millionaire because he's nice and also because he's good at books. Glass Onion really is a new take in this regard because it's saying fuck that! Burn the Mona Lisa even if people love it ESPECIALLY if people love it.

BUT ALSO I have two kinda fundamental problems with this worldview that views culturally valued art as an inherently bourgeois phenomena. First of all like ok slight tangent but. lmao yeah ofc Ryan Johnson is talking about art that's what he does yknow? Like on some level I think it's a little strange whenever people criticize media for talking too much about Media. Like yeah capture more of the human experience but you probably know more about creating art than me because I don't make films!!!!

Second tho is way more important because fundamentally like. Idk if I agree that trying to make really good art is something to sneer at and I DEFINITELY don't believe sneering at people who intentionally don't engage or care is #praxis. And I'm open to the possibility that my classical liberalism Wes Anderson aesthetic upbringing has infused me w some bad instincts here but I just don't think it's a real life good idea to burn the Mona Lisa! One movie that I saw that I really loved this year was The Menu which was a vicious satire of the idea that people trying to do high art are engaging in it in bad faith. It says "cuisine is a scam a cheeseburger and crinkle cut fries are our only salvation." And like while I enjoyed that movie... I refuse the premise! I don't think art and striving for art that communicates and innovates and yes is frequently silly and self important is mutually exclusive with LOVING trash and when things are bad and the art fails at what it was trying to do but you love it anyway. I love bad art because it teaches me something about good art and vice versa. I think opera is probably a capitalist hellscape and yet we should have more opera singers not fewer. Idk how to synthesize this I love glass onion i think that last post about it is spot on media criticism and I also love the Mona Lisa and don't love a politics that says we should disrupt it.

#glass onion #altho posts that arent actually abt glass onion and are more about a specific question about art #ive been dilemmaing about since i saw the Menu and also The Bear #trying to figure out if my aesthetic appreciation of like. Stuff thats Good and everyone says is Good Art needs to be dialed back lmao

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voudeer · 1 month

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General thoughts.

Okay so this is going to be the big official Alastor info post covering portrayal notes and other little bits and pieces about the muse in an effort to give myself and others a reference on how i plan to write him and a little bit of info that i think is important to cover for good faith and transparency reasons. Due to some of the sensitive nature of this post please read on with caution. This post contains mentions of creatures in native Americana folklore and mythology. Out of respect these creatures names will be censored and will be mentioned as little as possible, however I believe it is necessary to cover them in some way as they are canonlogically stated to be sources of heavy inspo for the character which is very obvious to the text. The post also contains mentions of real life bigotry and religion, so please read on with caution !

Lets get the messy stuff out of the way first. I know its been admitted that Alastor takes heavy inpso from W*ndigo but I actually personally think Alastor is infinitely more similar to the slightly less popular mythology of Sk*n W*lk*rs and I am pointing this out souly because of how many similarities there is in Alastor’s design / history and these creatures as opposed to the fandoms silly obsession with him literally being a W*ndigo which he's actually literally not and which is very disrespectful all around so no, I will not be portraying Alastor as actually either of these creatures and anyone in the fandom trying to say this is what he literally is, is factually wrong on multiple levels. He’s a demon. Folks really have no reason not to leave it at that, god.

Anyway, in the same vein I am not Navajo and I don’t want to be disrespectful to Navajo culture so I’ll always do my best to keep things tasteful and vague, which is why I am also censoring the names of both the creatures in question here and this will be the last time I actually mention either of them if I can help it. However, that being said, Sk*n W*lk*rs, or their basic concepts, are not entirely unique to Navajo culture. There are extremely similar beings found in the folklore of various indigenous and even African cultures, which I know because I am both lmao.

So yeah, another inpso stated for the character was Dr. Facilier, and this actually furthers the fact that there is almost infinite similarities between Alastor and Sk*n W*lk*r myths, while the same can’t be said about the W*ndigo. The only similarities Alastor has with W*ndigo are the bastardisations of W*ndigo in popular horror media which came about due to frequently being mixed with and confused with Sk*n W*lk*rs. In fact almost all popular media’s take on W*ndigo’s freaky traits aside from the cannibalism are actually attributed more to Sk*n W*lk*rs and are not traditional to W*ndigo themselves. For example, W*ndigo actually have nothing to do with deer or stags and do not resemble them in any way. These likeness are traced back to a very old movie where inspo for the appearance of the creature was taken from werewolves, but anyway, moving on and back to Dr. Facillier

The other thing I want to mention is that its been made pretty clear that Alastor is, in fact, a “witch doctor” type of character. He is a bokor. He is more so than anything heavily linked to vodou / “voodoo” which is actually another complication with the character as the “voodoo” we see with Alastor is what we call “hollywood voodoo” which is pretty much a racist parody and demonization of voodoo sensationalized by white folks for media. If not obvious the problem here is vodou / voodoo is an African religion. Its an actual legitimate religion and popular portrayals of it being evil, scary dark magic is both totally false and also extremely racist and disrespectful. Vodou / voodoo practitioners are still victims of hate crimes to this very day.

So, again, without trying to be insane and going too far into all the bad parts of all this and being overly critical of everything, I want to state up front that while I cannot remove these things from the character entirely I’ll do my best to handle them in a way that hopes to minimize any offence. To start with I wont be portraying Alastor’s magic as “voodoo” as such. I’ll be placing it down to hoodoo which is more general occult and less associated to the actual religion. That being said given these things will always be related in someway, what does draw from voodoo I will try to handle in a more empowering way as opposed to a demonizing way, although I realize that may seem contradictory when Alastor is a literal demon.

But I feel like I can kinda lessen the negative parts of this with the fact that, imo, Alastor is a poc. For me he is very much mixed race but its not exactly a perfect secret that Alastor’s not white. In my personal headcanon his mother was of African decent and most likely practised voodoo in its true form as a religion, where Alastor learned what he did to use in his own personal way, removed from the actual religion. This makes the most sense to me given voodoo is an exclusive religion and you don’t just sign up and you’re in. Its usually passed down.

I also wanna just share a quote from an anthropologist that studied this stuff named ira lowenthal. This is in regards to the origin of voodoo and its practise among African slaves.

““they were treated as cattle. As animals to be bought and sold; worth nothing more than a cow. Often less. Vodou is the response to that. Vodou says ‘no, i’m not a cow. Cows cannot dance, cows do not sing. Cows cannot become god. Not only am i a human being - i’m considerably more human than you. Watch me create divinity in this world you have given me that is so ugly and so hard. Watch me become god in front of your eyes.”“

This is kind of where my head is at when I say I come at the strong influence and direct display of voodoo in Alastor’s entire existence with a more empowering approach as opposed to something innately bad / scary / evil. Because I know while Alastor is a demon he is using his powers to navigate hell in a comfortable way, taking down powerful demon overlords as opposed to being downtrodden and treated as a lowly human soul. I think as a poc who lived in the 1910s-1930s Alastor is very used to tackling and navigating oppression and having others think they can push him around as a result, only for him to continually subvert this via his own cunning and merit.

Also to put it out there I made another post wondering if/how this stuff will be addressed in canon ( deleted it I guess, smh ) cause the fact of the matter is Alastor’s “voodoo” is displayed in canon with literal veves ( These are real veves. Some of them are broken or drawn slightly differently to irl but they are the real thing, none of them are fictional or ‘made up’ veves. )

so what Alastor is suppose to be doing when his powers come up is “”voodoo””. As a result Alastor’s powers are, obviously imo, not drawing from hell. They seem to draw from within himself / he's accessing another realm. Which explains a lot about his powers and how powerful he is and was able to become rapidly despite being a “human soul” and the canon having noted the kind of power Alastor was able to wield from day one being unheard of for a human soul. But yeah, not sure how or if this is gonna get addressed but I’ll be interested to see if it does.

So now that thats all out of the way I’m gonna go back over my other more general notes for him. I don’t claim to know all the Alastor trivia or anything so I might be missing some things but its fine, I like to just make stuff up in the meantime so until canon starts giving me some more solid content for Alastor, these are just some thoughts in various states of development:

A lot of this was mentioned on my old multi but I’m gonna use this post cover some stuff I’ve already mentioned, to update some things and to add some new things :

I like to view Alastor in life as having some relationship with medicine but I think the decision I’ve come to is that Alastor was less a legitimate physician and more an unlicensed surgeon. I think Alastor may have perhaps aspired to be more of a real physician but never actually made it to being a legitimate medical practitioner, despite his talent. That being said, it wouldn’t have been unusual to find Alastor preforming “back ally” procedures for the rich and the criminally inclined alike. Alastor was perhaps best described as a jack of all trades, with vaguely con-man tendencies. He knows the hustle. This ability to do a “little bit of everything” meant Alastor would occasionally “preform” in small time theatre. This was actually where he was picked up by a radio station and employed as a host as this was a fairly common occurrence at the time.

As its also been stated that he was a serial killer with a twisted moral code but I’ll touch on this in a little bit. Its been said Alastor is a man of duality and I think him presenting himself as clean cut, well bread radio host by day with some secretive sketchy hobbies that lead to him being a somewhat “” satanic ”” butcher by night as his demeanor fits in well with this theme. Duality is also a common theme in voodoo and the beliefs and spirits therein.

In my mind one of Alastor’s good qualities is that he is fiercely anti-misogyny which brings me to Alastor’s odd moral code. He has a deep seated hatred for men who treat women badly. Despite all the underhanded and bad things Alastor has done and is capable of doing, Alastor was very against abuse toward women. In my portrayal none of Alastor’s victims were / are women, they are all men and violence / disrespect toward women was a big factor in Alastor’s choice of victim. Alastor was noted to have a very close / fond relationship with his mother which is a factor in where his deep respect of women stems from.

In my eyes Alastor’s father was possibly French and white, though I’m not sure if he knew him very well or if he was in Alastor’s life at all. Alastor himself is white passing or ‘racially ambiguous’, something which he was able to use to his advantage in the white man’s world but that being said, given Alastor is not actually white, his fairer skin and more European eccentric features could only take him so far. Therefore he is very understanding of and sympathetic toward the struggles of “less fortunate”, poc and women alike and he is very anti-racism as well as quite keyed in to classism during his time as he is intimately familiar with these struggles. One of the reasons Alastor was successful on and chosen for radio was because no one could actually see him, meaning his racial ambiguity was further pronounced and many would assume Alastor was white or by hearing his voice would have no reason to imagine him as anything else. Again, quite common at the time.

As mentioned in another post, Alastor’s the kind of guy women feel safe around, which has translated to his demon form and life, which probably feels a little odd to start with because most know him as the terrifying radio demon, which there is literal warnings about all over hell, yet he def doesn’t exert any real aura of danger toward female / fem identifying folks, aside from knowing his reputation, they don't feel any reason to be afraid of him, which only gets better with time but none really know how to categorize him. He doesn’t really fit the gay bestie category and he's not exactly a boyfriend, although some of them might want to think that way in the end, no one has ever been able to actually tie him down. ( I have a whole other headcanon about this to post later tbh )

Another something to add to this is that while Alastor is very anti violence and disrespect toward women he is a mischievous trickster type creature. He will torment women, playfully and he will manipulate them to achieve his own goals ( see Charlie and Vaggie, respectfully ). He doesn’t mean them real harm, of course. Further, given Alastor lived roughly through the late 1910s and died in the early 30s, yes he does so some things that might be considered a little sexist. He puts women in dresses and he tends to refer to them with lots of pet names “darling, dear, doll, belle, sweetheart etc”. He means this in an endearing way and not in a degrading way however, despite the fact it can and probably does come off as such. I’m also not going to say he would correct it immediately if told about it, not because he’s trying to be an ass but more because of habit. Its been noted that Alastor’s a little “stuck” in his ways.

On to the next thing I’m not here to erase peoples sexualities so ofc he's asexual and grey aromatic. He can have queer platonic relationships and all but he's not at all interested in sex ( He’s kind of touch adverse + a bit sex repulsed, actually ) his stance on romance is less repulsed and more just vague disinterest. He’s preferential to women in all ways but i’m not gonna say that's an inflexible preference given his general disinterest either way. On that note, Alastor doesn’t label himself as ace/aro or aspec because he just doesn’t know that exists and even if he did he’d probably reject it. It wasn’t a part of his time and Alastor can be a little bit snooty about things that didn’t exist as he knew them. Again, hes a bit stuck in his ways.

For Alastor himself he describes himself as having other engagements and this might change if he finds the “right” one, but he also takes some type of comfort in the idea in the back of his mind that the ‘right one’ doesn’t / cant exist for him. Though his logic for that is because he’s a demon and all that kind of stuff has passed him / the others by. He hasn’t had any “real” relationships in his demon life but Alastor does kind of “preform” romance or behave in a way that suggests he's open to it but he never really leaves the ‘courtship’ stage into a real relationship with anyone, which has so far been the case. Strangely enough he does have an ‘ideal’ relationship in his mind but he doesn’t find anyone will ever measure up to it.

Its unclear if Alastor is actually open to romance in some way or if this exists for him due to heavy societal pressure ( Thankfully lessened by hell ) and a vague desire to conform. Personally i’m just going to see where / how this develops before i decide which one is most true for alastor. I know Alastor does at least experience some kind of sensual attraction and behaves as such given, contrary to his own dislike of being touched, he does seem to like to be a bit touchy with others. This is however mostly reserved for people he likes or initiates with.

Other things to note for Alastor is he is indeed very duplicitous as previously mentioned. Despite his well put together and dandy outward demeanour he is actually very feral for lack of a better way to put it. He may dress well and speak / act gentlemanly but this is mostly a façade Alastor puts on as during his time period this behaviour was accorded to the wealthy and the powerful and Alastor was a very fake it till you make it type personality. Indeed, a majority of Alastor’s outward demeanour is fake. Its a show intended to fool others on all levels, again, because Alastor relates speaking, dressing and behaving pleasantly as reflective of high power and status. His near constant smile exists for exactly the same reason. It displays power and dominance to him.

Alastor’s reality is that he is very bloodthirsty, deceitful and violent. His true self is mischievous and he frankly seems to enjoy causing harm as he finds it amusing, though he has fully convinced himself that his victims are completely deserving, which just makes it even more fun to torment them. In complete contrast to Alastor’s polite exterior he is ready and willing to throw down at a moments notice. Related are his yellow teeth, that are like that not for a demonic aesthetic per-se but actually because his oral hygiene sucks, he’s got yellowed teeth and bad breath, another canon fact. He has no problem taring his victims apart and eating them right on the spot. Indeed, Alastor eats mostly meat which he prefers to eat raw, and while Alastor may not have been a “cannibal” in life ( I actually think this bit of trivia maaaybe on the debatable side ) he’s 100% cannibalistic as a demon.

I have a vague idea of how Alastor’s death went down based on the little trivia notes given, although I don’t think i’m going to follow canon to the letter but we’ll see. Rather, i’m toying with the idea of him being “ hunted ” , perhaps by a mob of townsfolk who suspected him of his crimes, given the other titbit of information about him being a serial killer -- I have vague ideas of him attempting to escape through the wilderness which might have worked out if not for the dogs that tracked him. -- which could potentially be where his deer-like attributes as a demon stem from, as Alastor wouldn’t have looked like a deer in life ( unsure if he had shapeshifting abilities in life, however, i don’t think so, though.).

I’m going for it to be symbolic of the hunter becoming the hunted and more broadly of Alastor’s polite, friendly demeanour in life having hidden the monster he truly was. Also kind of a sick hell-brand irony given Alastor’s favorite meal / meat as a human was ( and still is ) venison.

Aside from this, alator’s beef with dogs for me stems from them being harder for him to fool. Humans were easy, but dogs always seemed to know exactly what he really was and tended to act frightened / aggressive toward him, meaning they could alert their owners / others to the danger of alastor, which they otherwise might not have picked up on till it was too late. Its noted he’s not afraid of dogs, he simply dislikes them so this is how i’m thinking i’ll explain that aspect of him as well.

And heres another messy hc drop of a bunch of thoughts on Alastor added to this post for convivence sake.

Alastor was never really interested in medicine for the purpose of helping people. He might have liked to think that but really Alastor’s interest in medicine was more to fuel his morbid fascination with death and dismemberment, hence his stint as a back ally surgeon. Alastor had genuine talent and he was damn efficient in his work, his skill, precision and overall good rapport made others think Alastor had a lot of care and passion toward helping his patients but rather it was the opposite that gave Alastor a lot of talent in this field. It was his hidden callous disregard for his penitents and this his ability work with very little stress or concern that made Alastor a “skilled surgeon.” this was never an official job of his though. It was something he dabbled in when he was younger, again, more to slate a morbid fasciation than to genuinely help people and to make a quick buck.

Nextly, Alastor doesn't appear on camera + tv. I mean, he does, but he doesn't. He tends to translate in a very distorted manner. If you were to take a picture of Alastor or try to record a video of him he will be a distorted figure, looking like a static glitch as oppose to his “true” self. “”modern”” technology doesn’t register alastor. Its another part of his demonic affliction and he does have a lot of resentment for it which, imo, ties into his dislike of Vox and of modern technology in general.

Alastor has a type of influence over sound however and can essentially manifest / project his voice wherever he wants. His voice is not necessarily attached to him, meaning, he can speak while seemingly not being physically present. Alastor’s voice is a supernatural manifestation and works independently of his body. Though he is used to moving his mouth to speak he doesn’t have to and sometimes his mouth movements can be off in contrast to what he’s saying. Its a very strange and off putting thing to witness.

The little deer hoof prints at the bottom of his “shoes” are the demonic representation of Alastor’s tap dancing skill from his human life. Tap dancers have little metal plates on the soul and heel of their shoes, Alastor’s are simply shaped like the hooves of a deer because demon aesthetics really go hard in the hazbin universe. This gives Alastor the ability to tap-dance whenever and otherwise further likens him to a deer as he makes a little tapping sound when he walks, invoking the impression of a deer's hard hooves moving over a solid surface.

Alastor was born in the late 1800s. His popular fan given age is early 30s but i think Alastor was more mid 30s personally, ( maybe like 33 or 34 ) either way, for him to have died in his 30s in 1933 he would have been born in somewhere in the late 1800s, like about 1898 at least, which is actually very important because i’ve seen people say Alastor is from the 30s which isn’t entirely true. The peek of his life would have been the 20s and his most formative years would have been the late 1900s. He died in the early 30s so he only actually experienced 3 years of “the 30s”.

Alastor has a lot of resentment for his death. He was, in my headcanon, essentially lynched. Not only does Alastor not like the manner of his death but doesn’t like the fact that he thinks it was premature, purely for the fact he really had a lot more murders he’d like to have committed ! Which to him meant there was more life he wanted to experience. That being said, Alastor doesn’t dislike his time in hell. He quite enjoyed it at first. His only problem is that he’s become bored and honestly after decades of balling too hard most of the other demons in hell are deathly afraid of him, going as far as to hang warning about him all over hells streets, which makes entertaining himself hard as very few have the balls to actively engage him.

Alastor’s patron sin, if not obvious, is the sin of wrath.

Wrath often reveals itself in the wish to seek vengeance in its purest form, wrath presents with injury, violence, and hate that may provoke feuds that can go on for centuries. Wrath may persist long after the person who did another grievous wrong dies. "if anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbour, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin." hatred is the sin of desiring that someone else may suffer misfortune or evil and is a mortal sin when one desires grave harm

Alastor’s name translates to avenger / vengeful spirit. Its a name that has been given to spirits, typically of the demonic kind sent to avenge / attack / destroy those who invoke the ire of others after doing them harm. In origin and meaning the name Alastor is considered on par with the greek goodness nemesis, a deity who enacts retribution upon others. This is incredibly on point for Alastor as it was heavily implied if not confirmed that Alastor’s motive as a serial killer was to kill those he deemed wicked / corrupt / villainous toward those he deemed innocent / oppressed.

Again, we’ve seen in canon that Alastor largely considers violence / abuse toward women as a grave misdeed and will actively murder and cannibalise other demons if he catches them participating in harming / assaulting women. There has been lots of other canon indicators that Alastor protects women and has a much better / stronger rapport with them than with men who he conversely doesn’t respect at all.

We’re unsure its only displays of misogyny that set Alastor off or if Alastor in general defends those he views as oppressed / victims. I like to think the latter as tbh Alastor enjoys murdering and if he can find a “good reason” to kill he’s more than happy to indulge himself, its not exclusively restricted to witnessing acts of misogynistic violence or assult.

All this being said, Alastor doesn’t view himself as a good person. He’s aware of what sin he repeatedly commits, the sin that got him dammed to hell, he enjoys it and he actively chose it knowing the “ consequences ” it has on his own soul. He’s basically at peace with his actions and doesn’t / never expected not to go to hell or to have a ‘lesser’ punishment due to the fact he was technically murdering ‘bad’ people or people who “deserved” it. This is also why he's completely uninterested in redemption because Alastor can’t look at his own actions, feel regret, feel remorse, or promise he has any intentions to never do it again. And this is also why Alastor tends to look so far down his nose at most other sinners.

Lastly i like to think while Alastor was cut down in “his prime”, again, something he resents, he did get a few good murders to his name and some small infamy as a human / in the human world for them (though nothing compared to what he planned or would have wanted). I haven't decided on Alastor’s serial killer moniker yet or too many details other than i think Alastor was a simultaneously calculated and opportunistic killer and was incredibly savage in the sense that he didn’t have one special method of murder and it wasn’t a ‘clean’ thing for him.

He preferred bladed weapons like knives, hatchets, axes and so on in comparison to guns though. Even just a nice blunt object was favored. Some of Alastor’s killings were more contained / ritualistic, while others were just frenzied and characterized by their extreme violence / gore. As a result while Alastor didn’t have a huge kill count to his name the killings that were attributed to him were ghoulish and inspired much fear and revolution. I also like to think there is some debate as to whether or not Alastor was the killer given Alastor’s outward demeanor vs the murders he committed didn’t seem to line up and some like to speculate that well put together gentleman like himself couldn’t have been responsible.

#headcanons

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qzwrites · 3 months

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Based on that last post, I was thinking about the Theory Of Romance Novels (especially as found in Romancing the Beat) that the components of a romance story fill some lack or need in each other.

So basically the void in Jaz's life that Sasha is filling is a: job dissatisfaction which is caused by b: the fatal american need to have a pretty good time (desire for Adventure and Shenanigans)

The romance novel part is from Jaz's POV so I figured that out pretty early on, even if I don't know that I ever made it explicit in any of my notes or anything. I mean that's why I have already roughed out the scene where Sasha grandly presents Jaz zeir very own ship to captain and Jaz is like "Oh. It turns out I don't want this actually." And then when ze tries to explain that like. Being a mercenary owner-captain is not going to be nearly as exciting without him around, Sasha is like AAAAA okay this is objectively nuts it has been three months but marry me? Like, the Thematic Point of that scene is pretty clear even if I do end up changing parts of it later, I think the bones of that scene are going to stick around. I have in fact referred to it in installments set in the future lmao.

But I just now thought about what Sasha is getting from Jaz here, which is mostly: LESS KAVAGORAN. Part of Miles Vorkosigan's problem is how Very Barrayaran he is, and his struggles with reconciling those values with his objective inability to embody parts of them. He does this with increasingly unhealthy coping mechanisms until he literally fries his brain and trashes his career, and I think it's pretty important for Miles specifically that he doesn't meet the future Lady Vorkosigan until he has become Even More Disabled and unavoidably so--and in a Very Barrayaran position that is simultaneously NOT REMOTELY the career path of his father or grandfather.

But Sasha necessarily (in order to get him to be more willing to acknowledge how into Jaz he is) (Miles is transparently into Bel he's just mired in internalized homophobia THIS IS TEXT retroactive text but text!!!) is a little older and had a little more success Being An Officer, it's just that his moral compass wouldn't allow him to. Be part of a military organization. Which is kind of a problem for a Kavagoran. But Sasha also spent more (or at least paid more attention to) time on Gnilles, plus he made it through the Academy, which I refuse to believe is anything other than a hotbed of furtive bicurious exploration that everyone studiously pretends does not happen, so Sasha is not nearly as concerned about being into men or nonbinary people as Miles is when he meets Jaz.

But importantly, he still has to make the Wild Series of Decisions that leads to him inventing a fake mercenary troupe and suborning an entire ship until everything snowballs out of control and he solves a civil war, so he's still Having A Time. He feels out of place in Kavagoran society, much like Miles frequently did as a youth, except this isn't youthful growing pains, this is...him taking a moral stand and a career hit and not regretting that, which kind of DOES make him regret the fact that he's planned his whole life out around a thing he's not sure he believes in as much as he thought he did. He's Too Old-Fashioned for the modern Kavagoran military (believes too much in honor and morality, which he chalks up to Being !Vor, but is really like. Pretty specific to a Certain Type of nobility who understand the Spider-Man Principle, which is not actually the entire nobility--either on Kavagor or Barrayar!) but also Sasha is Too Modern for traditional Kavagoran society (visibly disabled, absolutely reliant on modern medical technology to live any semblance of an independent life) (i mean not anymore, most of his accessibility needs now are like. extremely old technology like "joint braces" and "cane"). He's feeling at a loss! And useless! He's too Gnillesian for Kavagor but still too Kavagoran for Gnilles, and really, it's a nice planet but he's not going to build a life there! Even if it is Part Of Him!

And while shuffling through this crisis of identity he runs across Jean, a tunnel pilot who is ready to go down with the obsolete ship, and is like, Oh no this loser is My People. Plus the cyborg/disability resonance with Jean, who has literally been obsoleted by his assistive technology becoming obsolete, and was definitely being talked about like he was human garbage (as much as Gnillesians talk like that about anyone, which is more than they would claim). Sasha does the same exact scam Miles does (why fix what isn't broken, especially since it can be Humorous Backstory for why he has become a con man) and is suddenly saddled with a need to Make Money, which he has. Never attempted.

He also picks up Dimitri, who is the foil to the OTHER part of Sasha's predicament, which is: he deserted, yes, technically in the heat of battle, yes, but also, he was given a criminal order he refused to carry out and couldn't think of another way to handle the situation. Unlike Sasha, Dimitri is not a noble with connections; he's just some prole who did well in the engineering corps. He deserts to save his skin and his morals, and Sasha is like, Oh no THIS loser is ALSO My People.

(Helen gets to have the cultural knee-jerk revulsion of Dimitri as a deserter, especially since she is resentful that she isn't allowed to join up even though she would literally be better than half the fucking assholes in the military. She's unable to get even a nod of recognition from the military apparatus, and Dimitri THREW IT AWAY. She is a lot more sympathetic when she learns more about the criminal order, and conflicted about the dissonance, even though it's personal in a different way for her than for Sasha. She also gets concrete confirmation that he's Not Like Other Kavagoran Men, since around a bunch of galactics and hitting it off with Jaz, Dimitri is very chill about things like women with jobs, women soldiers, queer people, etc. He's...less immediately cool about Sasha's disabilities but he's trying? It's condescending and unhelpful, but still better than most Kavagorans' reaction. At which point she's like...okay Dimitri say more about the fact that you have a thing for me.)

But while Sasha is more okay with his queerness and his weird half/nothing cultural identity, and he's gotten better at working within his physical limitations, he's still, like, closeted about his disabilities. As much as he can be when it's visible that he's Not Right--he doesn't use his cane, he dresses to hide his leg brace or any other braces he needs, he tries not to call attention to his height, he does still also get his clothes tailored to "correct" his asymmetries, etc. He's constantly downplaying his needs and differences, mostly because of Kavagoran attitudes, but also like tbh most galactics who aren't Gnillesian are also still pretty ableist. He (feels he) gets more respect and better results when he Puts On A Brave Face and tries to look as "normal" as possible.

It really helps that Jaz is immediately thirsty for him TBH. Like, Jaz is Objectively Attractive, and also specifically attractive to Sasha, and ze is down so bad. Ze is practically vibrating with how hard ze's holding back asking to suck him off. (And, when they do get together, continues to be Very Enthusiastic while also actively attempting to accomodate him before he asks. Like, ze double checks how much force ze can use in normal things like "flipping them over on the bed". Ze asks what positions are easier for him before he hurts himself pretending he can do something. Ze asks about his comfort levels with his assistive devices and other parts of his body being touched, and doesn't push him [until ze knows him much better and is more capable of judging when he's being conservative out of shame].)

And it helps that Jaz has a non-normative body. Like, ze's totally normal to zemself, and to Sasha, and to Helen and Sasha's family (...not the Baron. is the Baron dead yet? I think so. Someone should definitely make a tasteless joke about this killing him.) but is Not Normal to Kavagor, and frankly to most galactics. Like, ambis are definitely the most well-represented third gender, people know about them, but there are few enough of them that leave Gnilles that most people don't know one personally and have never met one. Even on Gnilles, they're a minority. A large, visible minority that most Gnillesians would proclaim their pride in, but...mathematically, we know that's not true, don't we? Ambis are not half of the population of Gnilles, as they would be if everyone let chance decide the sex of their baby. They're not even an even third of the population, as they would be in a true gender ternary. They're like a quarter of the population, and most ambis are born to families that are either not fiddling with their embryos or already have ambis in their immediate family. Jaz is marked out as different in most places, despite having grown up thinking of zemself as totally normal.

And by the time Sasha meets zem, ze's been out in the galaxy for nearly ten years, Being A Minority and having to baby people through seeing zem naked. Yet, far from attempting to hide it, or blend in, ze is almost aggressively nonchalant about it. Like, ze is so Not Making A Big Deal About This that it almost shames people around zem into being cool. Ze's totally even and chill about people saying wildly offensive shit, just like "Interesting, can you expand on that?" like people aren't being weird. Ze is matter of fact about correcting misconceptions. Ze doesn't often get worked up (in public) about people being dumbasses, but ze is also not altering zeir behavior about it; ze is going to keep being openly zemself regardless of how other people feel about it. If you cannot deal with someone in the locker room wearing a sports bra and a jockstrap, that's your fucking problem, not zeirs.

And that strategy, of Pointedly Normalizing Zemself, works fine for zem. It also makes it clear when people are being unreasonable that they are the ones being unreasonable, not Jaz. Sasha will adopt more of that attitude moving forward, starting with being pan and having an ambi spouse who is very much not his wife, and moving on into using his cane in public or wearing clothes that don't conceal his braces. Why would he not use his cane? His leg's acting up and not using it will only make things worse. Why are you looking at him like that? If you don't have anything to say, at least get out of the way, he needs slightly more room to maneuver than people without mobility aids.

Jaz has also had to grapple with the contradiction of Gnillesian technology enabling passive eugenics. Like I said, ambis are not the proportion of the population they are genetically designed to be. Few people actively say they wouldn't have a baby runt, but few people choose one, if they're not already an Ambi Family. Most Gnillesians "just happen" to want girls or boys. Like most Gnillesians "just happen" to want hearing babies, and babies without developmental disabilities. There are ways the Gnillesian medical profession (with guidance and, let's face it, pressure, from the disability communities) try to limit this, but there is a fair argument to be made that screening for embryos with conditions that would endanger the viability of the infant or the health of a mother (even though few babies are carried to term in an embedded womb) is necessary. There are things they won't tell parents about unless asked, and there are things that basically never had tests developed (because people were like THE ONLY POSSIBLE USE FOR THIS IS EUGENICIST), but it's really hard to correct a societal problem on an individual level. Every individual (or couple or polycule or whatever) parent has fair and valid reasons to feel they could not care for certain kinds of babies.

There are still fewer runts born than there should be. There are still fewer little people born than there should be. There are still fewer deaf babies born than there should be.

Jaz is not unreservedly for all Gnillesian advances and norms, because some of them are bad. Ze is part of communities (ambi and queer) that are critical of some aspects of Gnillesian culture, for reasons that aren't as in your face as similar issues on Kavagor and other "less developed" planets.

Importantly, ze is also willing to fight back against those societal issues, even when they seem insurmountable. Less so for zeir own sake, but ze is super willing to fight people about being ableist or sexist, and Sasha feels more equipped to fight people for being binarist and cissexist on Jaz's behalf. They have each other's backs, and Jaz provides the support and security on top of the inspiration for Sasha to draw a line in the sand and say, no, I'm not budging on this. You move.

Lmao I think to some extent Sasha makes Jaz feel adventurous and exciting, while Jaz makes Sasha feel safe. Sasha's going to get into messes, into which Jaz will eagerly follow him, and together, they can clean them up.

Jaz would also be extremely amused by the idea that ze's providing the safety and security in their relationship. Yeah ze's so stable lmao (but Sasha has always had external stability--he has a rich and powerful family, or he wouldn't have survived to be an adult who doesn't feel comfortable being unreservedly himself; Jaz has always been unreservedly zemself, which is part of why ze was restless even while doing the objectively high-risk mercenary work.)

#kavagor #this too is prewriting #or navel gazing #or both tbh

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