#lanky fire twink :)

[complete-clownery]

And so I watched lego monkei kid as you can see

#just testing out the characters and how they feel in my style #all of them were pretty nice to draw but omg Red son os amazingly fun to draw dhdhshhs #lanky fire twink :) #lmk fanart #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk mk #lmk macaque #lmk mei #lmk sun wukong #lmk red son

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

M💍xxie Kn💍lastname

VO: Richard Horvitz

(Adult)

(Young):

Bittersweet quote:

“We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss, we are the employees."

— Moxxie, disagreeing with Blitz’s statement about their company being a family

Basics:

Sexuality: Bisexual (confirmed)

Species: Demon (Imp)

Sex: Male

Rings:

• Wrath (via Mrs Knolastname)

• Greed (via Crimson)

Occupation:

• Assassin / Weapon specialist of I.M.P

• Member of Crimson’s mafia (formerly)

Nationality:

• Standard English 🇬🇧 (?)

• Sicilian 🇮🇹 (via Crimson)

Likes:

Cooking

* Culinary arts

• Musical theatre

* Classical music

* Opera

• Leading a job case (2x05)

• His mother’s kindness

Dislikes:

• Millie stealing his spotlight (2x05)

• Blitz prying into his personal life

• Loona calling him fat

• Killing the innocent

• His father’s abuse

• Stolas’s wrath

• Pop music

• Theme parks

* Theme park mascot

AU:

Beezlebub’s pop music (🤣)

_____________________________________

Romantic interests:

• Chazwick Thurman (ex-boyfriend/ex-fiancé)

• Millie Knolastname (wife)

_____________________________________

Family:

Mother: Mrs Knolastname (✝️)

Father: Crimson Knolastname

Uncle: Unnamed

Wife: Millie Knolastname

Mother-in-law : Lin

Father-in-law : Joe

Sister-in-law: Sally May

* Three unnamed brother-in-laws

Other:

“(step) Niece”: Octavia of the Ars Goetia (inevitable)

“(surrogate) Niece”: Loona Buckzo

“Goddaughter:” T.J. of the Ars Goetia (OC)

Daughter: Molly Knolastname (OC)

_____________________________________

Friends:

Social media:

• Randal

• Oliver

• Steve

_____________________________________

Nicknames:

• Moxxie Poxxie (by Chazwick Thurman)

• Queer Boy (by an unnamed biker)

• Moxxine (human persona)

• The Little Twink (by Barbie Wire)

• Mox (by Millie & Crimson)

• Little One (by Striker)

* Little Fella / Dude

• Mox-Mox (by Blitz)

* Fuckface

* M

• Fatty (by Loona)

AU:

• Uncle Roxy (by T.J. of the Ars Goetia)

* deliberately knowing that Moxxie detests being called “Roxy”

_____________________________________

Enemies:

• Crimson Knowlastname

* Crimson’s mafia

~ Chazwick Thurman (former fellow member)

• Verosika Mayday

Status: Victim of rape

• Employees of C.H.E.R.U.B.S

• Employees of D.H.O.R.K.S

• Barbie Wire (2x05)

• Striker (rival)

Other:

• Blitz Buckzo (boss & former cellmate)

• Millie Knowlastname (coworker)

• Loona Buckzo (coworker)

• Martha (victim)

• Eddie (victim)

• Ars Goetia family (acquaintance):

* Stolas

* Octavia

• Staff of Ozzie’s (acquaintance):

* Asmodeus

* Fizzarolli

• Councillor Jimmy (attempted target)

_____________________________________

Abilities:

Natural:

• Fire resistance

Skillset:

• Drawing - As shown in the pilot, one of the drawings on Blitz’s "Boss Goals" board is by Moxxie (with a note by Blitz on it saying "Moxxie drew not as good"; the drawing being the unnamed Overlord in the Hazbin Hotel pilot.

• Acrobatics - Moxxie is nimble and agile in terms of fighting, as he swiftly dodged all the arrows shot at him while swinging away on a strand of rope to intervene in Keenie and Millie's fighting.

• Musical Talent - Moxxie is a gifted singer and guitar player.

• Bilingualism - In addition to English, Moxxie is also fluent in a little Yiddish.

• Songwriting - Moxxie is able to compose music, having written "Oh, Millie" in honor of his wife.

• Weapon Proficiency - Moxxie is proficient in the use of several weapons, most especially sniper rifles.

• Disguise - Moxxie can utilize multiple outfits to pass on Earth.

• Cooking - Moxxie is shown to be good at cooking.

_____________________________________

Appearance & personality

Moxxie is an imp demon with red skin and white freckles on his cheeks. His white pointy hair leads up to his curvy black and white striped horns.

He also has yellow sclera with black slit pupils. Moxxie has a long red thin tail with a quadrilateral barb at the end, as well as lanky digitigrade legs ending in what appears to be cloven red hooves, reminiscent of artiodactyls.

Moxxie's usual outfit consists of a navy-black coat with red buttons and white cuffs, black pants a white shirt that has a black turtleneck, a large red bow-tie, and fingerless gloves.

During the episode "Loo Loo Land", he wears a plain black suit and tie with no markings and sunglasses while guarding Stolas, just like Blitzo and Millie, but still wears his normal red bow-tie with it.

How would you describe Moxxie’s personality?

• Knowledgable

• Vociferous

• Realistic

Other:

• Queasy & uncomfortable >>> especially when it comes to killing an “innocent” family

• Nonsensical & overly flirtatious (when drunk)

• Comical (selective)

• Easily annoyed

• Clumsy

• Insured

#moxxie knolastname #bisexual #richard horvitz

[pixiecola]

Silent Angel

Steve owns a highly respectable sex club. It is not open to the public to use, people come to relax, and drink, and watch. And if they do want to be part of the ‘show’ or work at his club, there are several very thorough background checks done to be sure that any and all subs and doms are respectable, safe, and trustworthy.

Steve is typically the one in charge of hiring people, but he let Sam do it yesterday because he was having a personal day, visiting his Mama’s grave, getting some errands done, and also visiting Peggy at the nursing home. So he’s currently just watching over some of the newest employees. He walks past Stark and Peter, because they’re trying to get a pretty little twink ready to work in the evening.

“I don't understand why Sam hired him,” Tony mutters to Natasha when she comes by his station. And the boy is right next to him. “He’s a cutie, he is eager to work, but I’m scared something’s gonna go out of hand by accident, and he’s going to get hurt.”

So, obviously, Steve makes his way over and clears his throat. “Good morning, Romanov, Stark. Good morning Peter.” Peter smiles and waves and Natasha and Tony nod. Nat smiles and Tony looks genuinely concerned. “What’s going on here, Stark? Who is this new hire?”

“James Barnes,” Tony says. “Or Bucky. But he’s fucking deaf.” And oh.

“Sam seemed to think it was a great idea because he was so smiley and kind. He speaks really well. But he can’t hear. Nat knows ASL, because Barton is almost fully deaf. But not fully. And Bucky is new, and the person we were planning on setting him up with is you.” Steve nods, humming. 

“And what do you think is wrong with setting him up with me?”

“It’s worrisome to set him up with anyone,” Tony says. “Because if someone is standing behind him, if his eyes are closed, there’s a blindfold on, he’s not gonna know what someone is saying or signing.”

Bucky is frantically looking between them, clearly trying to lip read.

/Are you alright, little one?/ Steve signs to the worried little thing.

Bucky lets out an audible sigh. /I am, but I don't want to be fired before I’ve even been given a chance./

Steve nods. /Understandable. The next week will be a trial run/ he signs. Bucky is a sweet little thing, about the same height as Steve, long chestnut hair, hazel eyes, and a lanky build, but in a good way. He doesn't look like a sick Victorian child.

/I promise, I know what I am doing/ he signs. Steve isn’t entirely sure how to take that. He doesn’t know if he means he’s done sex work in the past, or if he’s just been participating in BDSM relationships in the past.

/What is your experience with BDSM, and sexwork in general?/ Steve asks.

“I was in a relationship up until several months ago with a dom,” he says out loud, which almost shocks Steve. He can tell the boy can’t hear himself, but he has good control over his voice anyway, and he isn’t speaking abnormally loud either. Tony, Nat, and Peter also turn to listen to him. “He wanted to move in a different direction than I did, so I broke it off,” he says. “But I do really crave this dynamic, and uhm. This job pays really well, which I also need, because I’m paying rent by myself now.”

“And you are entirely aware of everything this specific position and job entails, correct?” Steve speaks and signs at the same time for Bucky.

“I am,” he says, nodding.

/Good/ Steve signs. “Tony will finish getting you shown around, and settled in, and I will see you at six to get warmed up.”

He walks away, leaving them to finish getting Bucky used to the club, the ins and outs, and also the break rooms and emergency button which he is to push in whatever station he might be in if something starts going wrong and he needs security.

At six PM, Steve meets up with Bucky in their station. It’s nice, and cosy. There is a spanking bench, a loveseat, a curtain to close if needed, various types of sexy toys, pillows, implements, and more hanging up on the wall or sitting in the drawer below the selection on display. The lights are dim, and relaxing. 

The sub is standing there looking at Steve shyly. He’s wearing a black bralette, black underwear that shape his ass and the outline of his cock beautifully. And long black socks that connect to his underwear. “Uhm… Tony told me it was best to get comfortable like this before people come in to watch the show…” 

Steve smiles. /He’s right/ he signs. /I would rather most submissives and dominants get comfortable with their scene partners before they’re actively sceneing in front of a couple dozen people./

Bucky lets out a soft sigh and nods. /Yeah, that does make sense/

Steve pulls Bucky in by his hips and watches the submissive look wash over his features. Oh it's clearly been far too long since he was put under. His pupils dilate and his rosy cheeks get visibly darker. “Sweet angel,” Steve says slowly. “You’re going to have an exciting night.”

[space-arson]

God I fucking hate Wilbur Soot so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every stream he's in, every clip, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his dumbass face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit streams are endearing. His dumb flaily fucking twink arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? His worthless generic marvel movie-eqsue fucking twitter quips? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking NEON SIGN SET UP that every streamer has EVER FUCKING HAD IN THE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see art of Wilbur, or a Wilbur gif, or a shitty goddamn fancam, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty overgrown male manipulator indie movie character into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Wilbur Soot the fuckshit Minecraft YouTuber fucker, I like". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like if Jeff Magnum and Ben Folds had a son that only listened to Car Seat Headrest. Your dumb fucking fashion taste makes every photo you pose in look like you’re a tryhard asshole who gets all his clothing in from the goddamn Instagram shopping tab that no one uses. I hate your dumb fucking lanky limbs and your stupid, empty eyes and your over-the-top emo-ass goofy asshole personality. Anytime he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know it's irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking streamer, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is altogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of a twitch streamer utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the dick is, for all intents and purposes, the covid spreading corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper-middle-class suburban college boys you'd meet at a party distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly tall-ass dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking glasses. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a human being is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this Minecraft Youtuber.

can't believe jschlatt got a tumblr account

#HELLO?????? #WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?????? #WHO ARE YOU???? #long post #mcyt

[councilofelrond]

Sauron Meta #1: Appearance

 The most controversial (by comparison) first, I suppose.  Best to get it over with.  *inhales*

My Sauron is not, nor will he ever be, a twink.  I put a lot of emphasis on his blacksmithing and the amount of fighting he does, making a slim, small frame impractical.  

Sauron, at least my interpretation of him, has no reason to value appearance over physical strength most of the time.  When he takes his fair form, he keeps at least some of this size and strength because if things go wrong, he needs something to fall back on despite his powers.  It also makes it harder for him when he’s smaller because then people respect him less.  

My idea of his most often-assumed form has a lot of symbolism to it.  The tanned skin I imagine him with is a remnant of Almaren, when he was full of life, since people with dark skin look healthier than people with pale skin in my opinion.  He also has white hair, which symbolizes illumination and understanding as well as being the color of bone (for necromancer reasons).  Finally, I give him eyes like the Eye in the movie--they look like fire.  Fire symbolizes rebirth, eternity, and destruction, all things Sauron embodies. 

Usually, when writing, I go to great lengths to avoid describing his clothing beyond “It’s black and he’s wearing a hood.”  This is once again for character reasons.  He doesn’t bother too much with clothing when he’s ‘in his element’.  When in Eregion and Númenor, he thinks more about his appearance because of necessity.  Other than that, he likes to stick to whatever is practical for what he’s doing.  

Also (and I know this sounds silly, considering), I like picturing him without a ton of bulk because…ugh.  When I say not a ton, I simply mean he doesn’t look overdeveloped in the muscle department.  Instead, when in a cloak he looks almost lanky, but in more form-fitting clothes, he looks like he should, given his field.  Filled out, but not over the top, if that makes any sense.

Hmm…there’s a theme here, isn’t there?  The theme is practicality, of course!  His appearance is designed based on what he needs to appear as.  His entire character revolves around order, after all, so to remove that from how he designs his appearance is silly, at least in my opinion.  

Finally, by no means am I telling you how you should headcanon him.  Not by a long shot.  I’m merely describing him as I see him, since every time I try to draw him I can’t quite get it.  I hope you enjoyed my little bit of meta madness, and stay tuned: I have so much more to say about this lovely evil monstrosity of a man (or Maia)!

#sauron #the dork lords #my stuff #meta #tolkien #writing by lee

[sayingthesamethings]

Try a Little Tenderness (Oneshot)

Pairing: Dabi x GN!Reader

Summary: Dabi’s love is a tough one. There’s rough patches much like the scarred skin that clings to his body, but there are times of tenderness that are more addicting than tobacco and alcohol combined.

Warnings: Alcohol, tobacco use, language

“Hey, gimme a light.”

Dabi eyed the cigarette dangling inches from his face for a second before returning to staring past the rolled tobacco and at the rows upon rows of liquor behind the bar.

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking,” the figure beside him retorted and waved the cigarette balanced between their index and middle finger. Adjusting himself to face (Name), Dabi huffed out of amusement and rested his chin in his palm.

Dabi mused, “You’ve been a real spitfire lately. What’s got your panties in a twist?” (Name) lowered their hand, holding their cigarette, to glower at their boyfriend.

“Right now? The fire hazard right next to me that won’t light my goddamn cigarette,” (Name) remarked as they reached over to take Dabi’s glass.

The man opted to let them throw back his shot and didn’t flinch when they slammed the glass back down onto the cool wood of the bar counter. Dabi reached over to slide the glass down the bar to where Kurogiri was cleaning up.

“Another one, my good man.” Dabi could feel the mass of purple flames roll his nonexistent eyes but couldn’t give less of a damn.

(Name) groaned, “I don’t want a shot, Dabi. I want you to give me a fucking light.” They placed the cigarette between their lips and stared the cremation user dead in the eye. “Last chance, pretty boy. I’ll go find Twice if I have to.”

“Aw, so you do think I’m pretty,” Dabi taunted as he held his pinky finger to (Name)’s cigarette. A small blue flame flickered to life and lit the end. He quickly extinguished the flame and unabashedly watched his grumpy lover take a long drag. “Did you know that hundreds of thousands of people die every year from smoking?” Dabi spouted and caught the shot glass from Kurogiri that slid his way.

“I really don’t want to hear about an early death from you,” (Name) snapped with a quirked brow. With smoke billowing from their glossy lips, they commented, “I distinctly remember you bitching in bed yesterday after getting pummeled by some hero twink.”

Dabi scrunched his face in disgust with his glass resting on his scarred lip. “Please don’t ever say it like that ever again. Please and thank you.” He shuddered at (Name)’s cackles and hurriedly threw back his shot.

(Name) shrugged and fired back, “Then don’t nag me like a prude.” They waved down Kurogiri to order a martini. They were reaching the end of their cigarette when Dabi leaned over the gap between their stools to plant a sloppy kiss right on their lips.

Dabi’s scarred hands grabbed at the edges of (Name)’s stool to drag them closer. (Name) couldn’t help but groan at the slide of Dabi’s legs between their own and nipped at the rough skin of his bottom lip. They ignored the smirk that tugged at their boyfriend’s mismatched lips and focused on tracing their tongue along the creases in the textured skin.

(Name) felt buzzed at the familiar taste of Hennessy and heated at the glide of Dabi’s tongue against theirs. Shivers ran up their spine when Dabi’s heated palms massaged the inside of their thighs with firm strokes.

“Fuck,” (Name) moaned as their free hand traveled the span of Dabi’s defined chest to clutch at the loose collar of his white tee. They pulled him nearly out of his stool to get him to press closer.

“Can’t you two go an hour without fucking each other?” Shigaraki grunted from the other side of the common area.

Dabi pulled away reluctantly from the heated kiss to deadpan at their leader. Toga was giggling wildly off to the side, but no one paid her any attention. (Name) leaned back casually and thanked Kurogiri under their breath as he handed them their pink martini. Thankfully, their lovely cancer stick still had a few puffs left, and (Name) gladly indulged in what little time they had left together.

“I’m a bit busy, Hands,” Dabi bit as he tried to get his significant other’s attention again.

Shigaraki threw himself down onto one of the couches and dismissed, “Not here for you.”

Dabi growled low in his throat as he grabbed two handfuls of (Name)’s ass and pulled them into his lap. He disregarded their protests and continued to feel his way up their waist with mischievous fingers.

“I sure as hell hope you’re here for Kurogiri then,” Dabi huffed as he pressed wet kisses to (Name)’s neck as they sipped at their martini nonchalantly.

Though they put up an unaffected front, Dabi could tell they were getting hot and bothered with the subtle shifts in his lap. Dabi, momentarily forgetting about their boss not even six feet away from them, smirked and started nibbling at the soft skin at the juncture of (Name)’s neck where it met their shoulder.

A soft hum vibrated in the little space between them, and a haze settled over Dabi’s eyes. It wasn’t even a full tune, yet (Name) had him in a lustful trance with the slightest use of their melodic voice.

Unafraid of Dabi’s hidden threats, Shigaraki hummed, “You’ve got a gig, (Name).” The villain in question sighed wistfully and reached behind them to snuff out their smoke in the nearby ashtray. With their hand now free, it found itself tangled in Dabi’s tufts of black hair.

“What’s the set list?” (Name) quipped as they tugged at black locks with every hickey Dabi etched into their skin. They sucked in air through their teeth when their boyfriend nipped at the sensitive patch of skin just below their ear.

“Just one song. An associate of sorts would like our help convincing his audience to stay in their seats,” the white-haired man replied as he openly grimaced at the way Dabi pulled (Name)’s hips into his. “You two are utterly disgusting.”

(Name) only shrugged while Dabi made even more of a show for Shigaraki by straight up licking a long stripe up (Name)’s neck while maintaining eye contact with the white-haired male. (Name) shuddered in disgust but only sipped at their drink in response. Dabi offered Shigaraki a wicked grin, to which the latter glared in return.

“Unwilling crowds are my specialty,” (Name) chimed as they finished off their pink martini. They smacked their lips at the sweet taste and ducked their head down to give Dabi a peck with way too much tongue before they slid off of his lap. “What’s the address?”

Dabi huffed childishly and spun in his seat to lean back against the bar with his elbows on the counter. Cerulean eyes were fixated on the sway of (Name)’s hips as they made their way over to stand in front of Shigaraki. He took his time admiring them from head to toe as Shigaraki briefed them on their assignment.

The fog began to clear from his head, and he licked the corner of his mouth where the overly sweet taste of (Name)’s martini seemed to linger.

“Dabi, let’s go,” (Name) called. The scarred male grunted as he pulled himself out of his seat. He strutted over to where (Name) was and hooked a lanky arm around them before pulling them out of the common area.

Their tender moment may have been coming to an end, and (Name) didn’t know when the next one would come. But the wait would be worth it. Because (Name) was addicted to Dabi’s tenderness.

#dabi x reader #dabi imagine #bnha imagine #mha imagine #gender netural reader #dabi x gn!reader #dabi x gender neutral reader #x reader #x gn!reader #gn!reader #x gender neutral reader #boku no hero academia imagine #my hero academia imagine #reader insert

[lord-sc]

Even more out of context things I said while planning stories (Though this time most of them are from the same story)

“Bold if you to assume my stories have a plot”

“he doesn’t show (have??) emotions”

“Ah, yes. Me. My son. My chaotic part-time-manchild ployamorous hypersexual friend with benefits who somehow understands my crippling depression better than 99% of people around.”

“Greatest strength: his mind. Greatest vulnerability or weakness: his mind.”

“Eddie: I would die for him. Me: You would die any chance you get. Eddie: Fair point.”

Priorities: 1) his son Leo in general 2) Anatole’s well-being 3) his other friends’s well-being 4) finding the meaning of life 5) work 6) the rest of things about Anatole 7) the rest of things about his other friends 8) EVERYTHING else 9) his own well-being.

“Life philosophy: ‘Only 70 more years to live at most... Come on...’”

“Biggest regret: having had a child. Biggest accomplishment: having had a child.”

“Minor accomplishment: HAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOL EDGAR WILLIAM WALKER DOESN’T REALIZE HE HAS GOOD FRIENDS AND A GOOD JOB AND A GOOD LIFE AND COULD BE HAPPY AT ANY TIME IF HE JUST CHOSE TO BE. EDGAR WILLIAM WALKER HAS SO MANY ACCOMPLISHMENTS. HOW DARE YOU ASSUME EDGAR WILLIAM WALKER IS A MAN TO FEEL “accomplished” OR “happy”.”

“Immediate goals: forget. Alternatively, take care of Leo. Alternatively, prevent Anatole from setting the house on fire.”

“One word the character would use to describe self: ✨hot✨”

“Favorite food: any drink you get at 2 a.m. from 7/11 while completely wasted and having a conversation with God.”

“Plays a sport? Hahaha no.”

“ectomorph (like thin. As in skinny. As in lanky. Okay... Okay... I’ll say it... HE’S A TWINK. There, you happy now?)”

“(THIS MAN I SWEAR)”

“(Hates it. Will riot. Actually won’t.)”

“yep, I’m talking about sex”

#writing #writing memes #writer #writer memes #shitpost #out of context #why am i like this #memes #fanfiction #out of context things i said while planning stories #part 3

[intersex-ionality]

I’m sorry for asking but I cannot seem to find any answers. I see a lot of stray anti posts complaining about hazbin hotel, and I can’t for the life of me understand them because I haven’t seen the show. I read a summary of the plot, but perhaps you could explain better. What is it and why do so many hate it (and why have I seen no fewer than 4 unique posts claiming it’s “what happens when you let billdip shippers make things”?)

Now, I was never a billdip shipper, but I suppose I can see the, like, similarity in vibes between Alastor (a demonic radio host with untold evil powers and who speaks in a 1930s radio jockey voice), and Bill.

And since antishippers hate Bill and they also hate Vivienne Medrano, the attempt to compare “billdip” to an entire original cartoon property is, I guess, a logical connection for them.

But let me be clear: there’s absolutely fuck or all that can be said to parallel the popular interpretation of billdip, in no small part because there no Dipper character, and in much larger part because of Alastor extremely rejects all romantic, sexual and even platonic advances.

Antishippers hate Hazbin Hotel because they hate the woman who came up with and spearheaded the project. They loathe Vivienne Medrano for being a successful independent artist capitalizing on the desperate need in the general viewing public for the bright colors, musical numbers, and zany antics that only animation can provide, but without the stifling restrictions of being targetted towards children. Most “adult” animation is focused on being drab or viscerally disgusting as a form of schadenfreude humour. And while children’s animation certainly fills that bright and zany niche, because it is obligated to adhere to the morality of various broadcasters, it’s often very suffocated in what it can or cannot do or say.

The aesthetic that HH/HB has created is clearly a callback to two major styles of animation: the adult-aimed slapstick of early Warner Brothers, and the long-and-lanky exaggerated flailing limbs that were popular as a design choice in low budgets (TV, off-brand film) and fandom animation in the late 2000s.

Since this style of animation is also associated heavily with fandom’s last big burst of creative and sexual freedom before the whole “no boundaries, no barriers, the search algorithms can and will put porn on every child’s dashboard” disasters of 2013-2015, some people are naturally off-put by it, because it reminds them of the time a bunch of corporate overlords decided that they should destroy their own platforms. For whatever reason (it’s the capitalism, probably), people blame individual artists for this trash fire rather than the platform holders that purposefully destroyed organization and boundaries between groups in a desperate bid for ad revenue.

Antishippers have a deep-seated reflex reaction towards hating that art style. You can see it in the hatred of HH/HB, but also in the hatred of things like, “cringey once-ler fans” and of “people who draw all the homestuck like twinks,” and "people who draw Pearl like a man” and all kinds of other places.

Additionally, Vivienne Medrano was at the centre of a few other antishipper fiascos, because her previous projects involved what they call a “pedophilic student-teacher relationship between a child and an adult.” Of course, in truth, the relationship in question is between an 18 year old student and her 19 year old student-tutor, but when have anti-shippers let facts get in their way.

Likewise, she made a living for a while taking commissions for (SFW) furry art work, and has always had a very positive relationship with the furry community (despite not being a furry herself). People upset by her success as an artist are also quick to say that she has sex with animals, “like all furries do,” because as we all know, calling queer artists sexual cirminals is Good Praxis that has Never Caused Harm /sarcasm.

In effect, Vivienne Medrano is a perfect storm of things anti-shippers hate: successful queer creators who refuse to assimilate to heteronormativity; successful creators of color who refuse to assimilate to white respectability; unrepentantly proud of her art; unafraid to engage with sexual themes in a fun rather than puritanical and hateful way; popular in the late 2000s/early 2010s; an ascended fan who was able to turn her fandom credentials into a successful professional project.

Their hatred for all of these facts about her are presented in a way that lets them feel good about lashing out at someone they dislike/are envious of. Namely, by saying that her work is an act of sexual, racial, or gendered violence, rather than, you know, fictional and fun.

HH/HB is not somehow a perfect piece of art. I have made my own discomfort with facets of it very clear. And there are flaws other than my wariness of rehabilitation themes.

Some of the sound design is overwhelming, with a few scenes bordering Johnny Test levels of excessive sound effects; in some cases the editing has clipped too much quiet-space between the presentation of a joke and its punchline; those traits combined with the lack of closed captioning can make the show very hard to process for someone like me who has difficulty with speech.

The immense budgetary constraints of the animation can sometimes be seen in framerate dips or in peculiar background details. Zoomed out shots of the cast as an ensemble are particularly identifiable as places where what would have been filler art in a higher budget production were ultimately left in because there wasn’t time or money to replace them.

The show is extremely upfront about sexuality and especially queer and professional sexuality, which can easily be off-putting to people. Conservative Fox News hosts’ extreme homophobia and violence are put on full display--for the purpose of mocking them for being enormous sacks of shit, but on display nonetheless--which can likewise be uncomfortable.

At one point you see the clearly exposed brain of a cartoon egg, which I won’t lie, makes me gag every time it happens, no matter how stylized and brief the shot. (Why! Does the egg! Have a brain inside it!!!)

But, unironically, HH/HB is the best series of adult animation I have seen in probably a decade or more. Maybe in my entire life. Prior to this, the only option for adult animation that isn’t rooted in sadism or grey-beige palettes was anime, and the design direction and acting of anime are ultimately very different than that of western slapstick.

Obviously, not every anti-shipper is so outraged because they envy the success of an artist other than themselves. But a great many are fuelled by envy, either that they aren’t the success story, or that someone they perceive as The Enemy is a success story.

This is far from the first time that anti-shippers have proudly taken the same side as anti-queer bigots and as open and avowed racists, who also hate the show (for being gay, for featuring an interracial relationship, etc). It won’t be the last. But, for all that their actions are often indistinguishable from the queerphobes and the white supremacists, their motivations are at least meaningfully distinct.

#Hazbin Hotel #I suppose I'm the HHHB defense squad now #what a weird life #Anonymous

[incognito-lionbeast]

I was thinking about how Meis n Gueira met/became Burnish, and came up with some headcanon concepts I really like -- or at least ‘til they give us something official. Then this will all be for naught, but here goes!

They’re both Aussie, right? So, then for some backstory: in my headcanon Meis is still technically an Australian citizen, whereas Gueira moved to Florida as a teenager w/ his dad -- so, they never actually met while they were both in Australia. It’s just a happy coincidence.

Gueira never really got along with his dad, ‘cause that’s what sorta happens when you mix a stupid, rebel teenager & an asshole. His dad wasn’t the absolute worst person in existence (and by that I mean there was no like. physical abuse), but it was bad enough that he left/was kicked out pretty much right after he turned 18. Not long after that he flared up somewhere in Miami and never looked back. Never wanted to. Cause, sure, fuck it. He took up a fake name and raised a whole lotta hell where & when he could.

Meanwhile, some distance away, Meis’ boy band* was doing well enough--still pretty niche, but their music was selling, baybee--that they were toying with the idea of doing a US tour (they had more fans there than in Aus). Y’know, just a few shows to test the waters. Somewhere in the South, maybe. Easy enough. Their first show was in Florida at some sleazy little bar--decent crowd. Nothing crazy, but that’s where he met Gueira. Some punk with a fun attitude and a pack of cigarettes. They hit it off over a few drinks, eventually learning that they were both from Australia. Small world. Plus, Meis didn’t care if Gueira was a Burnish. Do you think some lanky twink in a fancy leather outfit and too much eyeliner gave a shit abt that kinda stuff? No way.

So, Meis offered him a ride as far as Dallas. That’s where their last show was, and Gueira didn’t have anywhere else to be. So, Fuck It moment number two. He was down to haul equipment for a few days if it meant the company was decent. Meis’ band-mates were a little less thrilled, but that’s the fun thing about being the leader. What you say goes. So, several more shows down the road and a whole hell of a lot of bonding in-between, they finally made it to Dallas. And this show? This show was the best and last show Meis ever performed in.

Near the end of the set, things had gotten really intense on stage and it burned him up--set the stage on fire, too. Meis lost a really nice jacket that day and had to be hauled out of the venue by Gueira. He’d been a Burnish for a while at that point. He knew what to do, and, hell, he kind of liked this asshole. Once Meis’ fire problem got under control, they both realised this meant neither of them had anything left to go back to. Like hell would his band-mates take him back after that level of public disaster, and it was plenty easy to replace a mere bassist. So, Fuck It number three. I like you, you like me. We’re both Burnish bastards. Let’s see what the world has to offer--and maybe the Mad Burnish, too, while we’re at it.

*Meis started the band, though he was actually the bassist/only did backup vocals. His character on stage was more broody & mysterious than it was charismatic. Not a good fit for the main guy, y’know? He had fun, though

#meis #gueira #promare #headcanon

[spageddiekaspbrak]

The Perks of Being A New Kid

Summary; Ben Hanscom was lucky enough to find himself welcomed into the losers’ club before his first day of school is even over. The one problem is Bill Denbrough, star baseball player and certified fuckboy. And The Bowers’ Gang. And gym class. Maybe there's more than one problem. 

Word Count; 2019

AN; I fucking love fuckboy bill and I fucking love denscom. And steddie and British Richie. Don't even get me started on Ben having a southern accent. Anyways hope y'all like it, I worked pretty damn hard on it 

Masterlist

“Aw fuck! Jesus Christ, fucking hell.” Ben recognized the British accent from earlier. It was Richie Tozier, a tall and lanky boy who had moved to Derry from Manchester, England three years ago and knew how it felt to be a new kid with an unusual accent. Ben had been touring the school with Stanley Uris, the student guide the office had assigned to him, when Richie has appeared out of nowhere and started a friendly sort of fight, the sort of fight Ben figured best friends often had with each other. Richie seemed nice enough, despite his punk clothing and how loud and trashmouthed he was. He had, after all, picked Ben fourth with a kind grin on his face, after Stan, a tall black boy named Mike, a redheaded girl named Bev.

A shrill whistle sounded and the dodgeball game stopped, everyone frozen except for Richie and his friends. A small boy sprung up from his seat on the bleachers and nearly sprinted over to Richie who was laying on the ground, a hand clutched to his bleeding nose. “This is why we aren't supposed to play dodgeball, Coach Ganley! People get hurt every single time! No wonder my mom makes me sit out! If I had gotten hurt, she'd be getting your ass fired.” The boy’s face was red through his freckles as he dug through his fanny pack, pulling out a cotton pad and shoving it up against Richie’s nose.

“Language, Kaspbrak!” Coach Ganley scolded before stepping in between the two teams, looking at the one opposite to Richie’s. “Who threw it?” Most eyes went to a tall, handsome, and toned boy who had his arms crossed. His shirt was snug around his biceps and he had a snapback set backwards on his head.

Before the gym teacher could get out a word, the boy from earlier spoke up. “Who do you think, Coach? William ‘gets away with everything because he's a star baseball player” Denbrough. Who else would it be?”

The kid now known to Ben as William smirked, sending a wink in the angry kid’s direction. “I get away with thuh-things for a very different reason, s-swe-e-sweetheart, I think you kn-know why. F-From those, uh, about four months we were suh-sleeping together?”

“Shut up, Denbrough! Back off my boyfriend!” Stan piped up, drawing himself to his full height and glowering at the other boy. The kids from earlier, Mike and Bev, stepped over, grabbing Stan’s shoulders. Ben was slightly offended Stan hadn’t mentioned he was dating someone, but figured Stan had assume from his southern accent that he was against gay people, most people did. He wasn’t though, for the record.

Ben felt like he had whiplash from looking from William, to Richie and the angry kid, Stan and his captors, and Coach Ganley who had a unhappy but amused smile on his face.

Before anyone else could say a word, the bell rang. Eddie pulled Richie up and dragged him towards the locker room. Stan and Mike followed suit, Mike gesturing for Ben to follow them. Bev split off, not before whispering something in a low voice to Mike and waving at Ben sweetly. His face reddened and he followed after Mike like a lost puppy.

The five boys grabbed their things and holed themselves up in the bathroom, Mike pushing the large door shut behind them and locking it. Richie hopped up onto one of the sinks, pulling the red stained cotton away from his already swollen nose. Eddie was already attacking him with wet paper towels, dabbing at the dried blood and the fresh blood that was joining it.

Stan was the first to start talking. “Mike, Eddie, you guys know how I told you I was gonna be the new kid’s student guide,” he didn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “This is Ben Hanscom, he moved here from Tennessee. Ben, you’ve met Richie, but this is Mike Hanlon and Eddie Kaspbrak.” There was a moment of cautious silence. “Eddie is my boyfriend.”

Ben smiled shyly, reaching to shake the hand Mike had extended to him. “It’s nice to meet y’all. Sorry it had to be on such bad terms.”

“Not your god damn fault Bill Denbrough is the worst fucking person on the planet.” Eddie sponged at Richie’s nose a little too hard and Richie hissed, snatching the paper towel away and tending to his nose himself.

Stan grabbed Eddie’s elbow gently, pulling Eddie towards himself and looking down at Eddie with a soft smile. Eddie’s face and body immediately relaxed as the two gave each other heart eyes. Ben had to resist gushing and cooing over how cute the two were. “I gotta ask, is it William or Bill?”

“Bill. Everyone calls him Bill, but his full name is William.” There was a moment of silence. “He and Eddie have….history. He’s kinda the worst. Total asshole.” Mike finally released Ben’s hand and gave him a half smile, plus a shrug.

“Stay away from him Benjamin, stay far far away.” Eddie warned, the left side of his face pressed against Stan’s chest as Stan rocked them from side to side gently.

“Yes sir.” Ben gave a little salute to Eddie and Richie snorted.

“I like you Benny, welcome to the losers’ club.” Richie got down from the sink, his nose finally done bleeding even though it was still large and a little purple.

“What?”

“The losers’ club. It’s what we call ourselves. Me, Bev, Eds, Mikey, and Stanny.” Richie pulled off his gym shirt and shorts. Ben snapped his eyes shut, face brightening at seeing Richie in his boxers, even if it was for a second. “And now you. So welcome.”

“Thanks,” Ben squeaked, feeling like his face was on fire. He could hear everyone else changing, but he stayed still and kept his eyes shut. At his old school, they hadn't been forced to change for gym. Ben wasn't one to complain, but these gym uniforms were uncomfortable and small and were an unflattering red against his yellow hair.

After a few minutes of silence, just the soft rustling of clothing and zippers being unzipped and zipped again, a hand tapped his shoulder. “You're good, Ben.” It was Mike’s voice. Ben liked Mike and sure hoped Mike wouldn't worry that he was a bigot or anything bad. He open his eyes, face still hot as he blinked away the blurriness.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, fixing his eyes on the tiles. He tapped his foot four times, pausing only to tap it four more times, then continuing the pattern.

“Do you want us to…,” Eddie’s voice trailed off. Ben nodded and kept his eyes downcast as the other four boys trickled one by one out of the bathroom. Mike squeezed Ben’s shoulder on the way out, pulling the door shut as he ended the parade leaving the bathroom. Immediately a weight fell off his chest, he didn't want to change in front of his new friends, nor anyone else.

Three lengthy and boring periods later, Ben was sitting around a lunch table with the rest of the “losers’ club” as Richie had called it earlier. He really liked these kids and was glad to already have found his niche in Derry. He was sandwiched between Bev and Eddie, Stan on the other side of Eddie, Richie next to Stan, Mike next to Richie, and back to Bev again. Not that Ben would admit it, but this was the biggest group of friends he had ever been in. Well, he hadn’t really had more than two friends before.

It seemed like Mike and Bev were dating, or at least talking, to Ben. Mike had an arm slung over the back of Bev’s chair, eating chips with his free hand as he smiled down at whatever she was doing on her phone. Ben could see Stan and Eddie’s knees pressed together on his other side and he blushed a little, feeling strange and boxed in. Richie flashed Ben a giant smile, stuffing a handful of Mike’s chips in his mouth.

“Don’t worry, I’m forever alone too, my darling Benny Boy. We’ll find your sweetcheeked self a pretty girly,” Richie spewed little bits of wet chips as he spoke, still chewing in between words. Everyone gave him a disgusted look as he leaned across the circular table, pinching Ben on his cheek.

“It’s uh..,” Ben coughed shyly after Richie let go of his face, “I don’t...you know…I kinda don’t swing that way?”

“Welcome to the club,” mumbled each and everyone of the losers. Ben did a double take and opened his mouth to speak before Richie cut him off.

“I put the bi back in little bitch, Mikey and Mrs. Marsh are fellow bisexuals, and the spaghetti man-“

“It’s Eddie, god damn it!”

“Stan and Eddie are gay obviously.” Richie and Eddie sent venomous looks to each other. Richie broke first, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue and Eddie giggled at that.

Ben tried not to notice the protective gesture of Stan putting his hand on Eddie’s knee and squeezing it. Stan’s hand barely lasted a second before Eddie was batting it away, still smiling casually although his body had tensed up.

All of a sudden, a tall boy with a blonde mullet was behind Eddie. He licked his hand and slapped it down on Eddie’s neck with an evil smirk playing on his lips. Eddie jumped to his feet, hands held up in the air like jazz hands as they trembled. His eyes were scrunched shut as Stan hurried to unzip his fanny pack and grab out some hand sanitizer.

As Stan rubbed the sanitizer into the back of Eddie’s neck, the kid scanned Ben up and down. “Fat, Pac Man shirt, baby face, fairy hair, hmph, you’ll fit right in here at the twink table.”

Richie was on his feet, reaching out as if he was going to throttle the kid. “I’m gonna fucking kill you, Henry Bowers. You absolute fucking twat!” Mike grabbed Richie by the back of his waistband and pulled the british boy back into his seat.

Henry gave all of the losers a shiteating grin before strolling away. Eddie and Stan moved too, presumably to the bathroom. Ben knew not to ask about it and stared at the salad his mom had absently shoved into his hands that morning.

“So! Has anyone invited Ben to Star Wars night tonight?” Bev asked, straightening up in her seat. Mike’s arm was no longer resting on the chair and her phone was face down on the table. It was clear she was trying to lighten the mood and ask as a distraction.

“No not yet, Mrs. Marsh, but now we have to!” Richie clucked his tongue, obviously joking when he shook his head and gave Bev a dismayed look. Richie scooted over into the chair that Eddie had previously occupied, slinging his arm around Ben’s shoulders and pressing a wet and joking kiss to Ben’s cheek. As gross as it was, Ben felt good about the kiss on the cheek. It made him feel warm inside. Not because he liked Richie, but because he hadn’t even been at this new school for an entire week yet and he had already been accepted into a new group. Not only accepted but he had been invited to a group hang out. “It’s at 7, the big red house on the corner of Turner and Pine. Lemme think of a landmark….if you go to Jerry’s Hard Liquor, it’s three blocks down then a left, all the way down and to the right. Stanny and his mommy just moved in with his stepdad.”

“We basically eat a pizza dinner with other snacks and soda, Star Wars music playing in the background. And then we usually do some trivia or a themed board game. Then a marathon, but only the first three movies. They’re the only good ones obviously.” Mike’s arm was back to its normal spot on Bev’s chair.

“It’s so much fun. You’ll love it, Ben.”

Tag List

@groovy-wyatt @kanewsies @themysteriousworldofvia @wyatt-ohheleft @missingstanleyuris

#denscom #fuckboy!bill #baseball!bill #ben hanscom #bill denbrough #southern!ben #british!richie #richie tozier #side steddie #steddie #Eddie kaspbrak #stan uris #mikexbev #beverly marsh #mike hanlon #henry bowers #it 2017 #it fandom

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self instert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 24: Let me in LET ME IN!

“Welcome back Miss Palma” Jinko opens the car door “and welcome to your squadron.”

“Thank you Jinko” I step out and see the agents “sup fellas! Missed me?”

“Of course! Wish we could catch up but we have a task at hand” 44 said escorting us in “Do you remember your old room? We have your requested gear in there, hope it will do.”

We suit up in my room and load up our weapons. We requested something to cover Mimi’s and Jin’s mouth and ears. My visor covers my face and sides of my head when lowered, while Mimi and Jin’s support gear just cover their eyes and forehead. Before we met up with the head agent, Mimi had something on their mind.

“Babushkas?” she said softly “what if this is the last of our adventures?”

“I won’t let that happen” sternly said Jin as he strapped on his holsters “You two are all I have, I love you and dammit if I break myself getting us to safety then so be it!” he puts his hands on our shoulders “no time to think about the sad shit, we have drama to cause.”

We group hugged and headed to the lead for instructions. We got connected to their earpiece system so they can communicate with us and hear what we hear. Based on what they told us, the place isn’t far from where I 1st appeared as Black Phantom. We switch on our distortion voice changer and teleported out to the area, from there we roof jumped a quarter mile to this alleyway with some stairs leading to a basement door.

“Okay as expected, hot villain is the guard” I whispered to Mimi and Jin “I’m jumping in, don’t come out until I give the signal and follow along with my story.” They nod in response and lay low as I floated down into the entrance of the alleyway “Well well well, aren’t you a sight to behold?” I coo’d to get the attention of Dabi “Hello my Raven haired beauty, it’s been too long!”

Dabi looks at me with fear in his eyes “Black Phantom! I knew you’d appear, RIGHT when we settled in here too” he gets annoyed but doesn’t get on guard “look, I’m not looking for a fight, our boss is in there with our entire team” I inch closer to him and he gets increasingly nervous “maybe you can work something out with him? Just please, don’t hurt me!”

“Oh? Why would I hurt someone so beautiful?” I put my hand on his face for the copy “So the boss man is inside there huh? If I were just to pop in and have a little chat, he’d be civil and welcome me?” He glups and nods in response “how about for me and my colleagues?” I snap with my free hand and Mimi and Jin portal in and strike a pose.

“Oh my! He is beautiful” Mimi played along and put her hand on his chest “tell me babe, is there an open bar down there? I have a need to quench my thirst” she slides her hand slowly downward as she says that.

Jin puts his finger on Dabi’s forehead “Answer the question you handsome man! I can end you with the flex of my pointer finger.”

“Okay Okay I’ll talk!” he panicked “yes, there is a bar. Just go down there and ask for Shigaraki, he’s our boss.”

“Aww don’t be scared” I signal for Jin and Mimi to take their hands off him “if you ever get sick of working with these clowns, consider becoming one of us” we start walking toward the steps “we’d love to have you.”

We make it to the door and it’s unlocked, I guess they were really harking on Dabi to be a good bouncer to do this shit. The smell of too many people in a small area and beer hit us before we saw everyone look at us. The room was a decent size, wasn’t well lit, bar area with a smokey-purple man as a bartender and a bunch of villain looking people.

“Oh don’t mind us” Mimi spoke up “we came to chill, yo barkeep, mint julep on light ice please.” We sat at the bar and I scanned the room for any familiar faces, I saw knife girl and she wasn’t happy to see us.

“Here you go” said the bartender, handing Mimi her drink “anything for you two?”

“Beer please” Jin requested.

“I’ll have an Old Fashion and the presence of Shigaraki” I gave off big dick energy “I just want to talk.”

“OoooooOOOhhhHH! Shiga-kun is gonna flip when I tell him!” Toga squealed before running up some stairs on the other side of the room.

“No offense, but who are you three?” approached a lizard man “and how did you find this place? Dabi should’ve cremated you on sight!”

I scoffed “Heh, Dontcha know that this is my city? I know everything that goes on here” I see my drink get set next to me “I am the Black Phantom and these are my colleagues, Black Sniper and Black Void.”

The room gasped and the harsh whispers of rumors started among the people in the room. I smirked so hard over the sudden change of mood in the room. I flashed a look at Mimi and Jin, they were ready to cause some shit. I didn’t have to wait long for the boss to show up, in walked in a lanky, greasy haired man with hands all over his body. I was underwhelmed by his appearance, this asshole managed to kidnap Bakugo?

“Oh wow” Jin spoke up “Hand-Job man huh?”

“Aww I was going to say that!” Mimi playfully pushed Jin.

“Stop you two” I said before taking a sip of my drink “it’s clearly Handy-Man.”

“You come into my lair, bypassed my security, drink my booze, instill fear in my henchmen and insult me?” said the man with is almost seductive raspy voice “Give me one good reason not to turn you to dust right where you stand!”

“You listen here you dry ass, crusty lipped, knick knocky knees looking bitch!” I put my drink down “This is my city! I’ve taken over the shadows and collect the skulls of those who intrude on my territory.”

“Boss, didn’t Dabi warn you about them?” spoke up a man with sunglasses and thick lips “Toga too? They’re dangerous!”

“QUIET! I don’t negotiate with wannabes” Shigaraki crossed his arms “You didn’t kill Dabi and Toga that night, so what’s your kill streak Phantom?”

“We have 10 skulls in our possession” Mimi spoke up “We didn’t kill the little girl or that sexy black haired man because we wanted to pass on the warning” she starts to get cocky “now you’ve done it, one snap from Phantom and it’s lights out for all of you.”

I raise my hand in snap position “Your move Hand Man.”

“Do it then” he points at a random guy in the room “make him disappear! I’ll negotiate if you succeed.”

“Okie Dokie!” I snap my fingers and I catch this guy’s clothes on fire and Jin deploys a portal under the guy so it looks like he got incinerated. “Bye Bye bad man hehehe” I do my best maniacal giggle and the room went from scared of me to terrified of me.

“Fuck” softly uttered Shigaraki. He turned to us with fear in eyes, like he knows he done messed up now. “Heh well um, lets talk then!” he nervously says “what does my fellow villain want to talk about?”

“We want to know why in our city” Jin butted in to take over “I swear if it’s because of that blue jean, yaoi hands hero or that pompous hero school 3 cities over” he slams down his beer “I SWEAR I’m gonna flip!”

“Don’t flip! please I don’t want to know what that means” Shigaraki put his hands up in panic “but I’m carrying the mission of my successor, All for One to take down One for All lineage, starting with that school.”

“What’s the use? Those kids ain’t worth shit” I took a sip of my drink “scoped them out myself, quirks suck ass and ain’t worth stealing, including that one aggressive twink you kidnapped.”

“That aggressive twink is part of my plan to take down that green haired heir of the One for All.” 

“He’s not worth the trouble Hand Man” I rolled my neck to exaggerate my point “the boy is a secret fire breather and smells like milk for some reason.”

“Don’t forget he cries too much, treats All Might like his God, wears those stupid shoes and fashion sense is ABYSMAL!” chimed in Mimi “we captured him but he was just some whiny broccoli bitch and just hung him on the UA flagpole by his underwear.”

“Wait! you infiltrated UA?!” he asked trying to make sense of our casualness “AND captured the heir?!”

“It’s not that hard Hand Man” Jin played along “you just gotta put on the fake titties and the skirt uniform to do what you gotta do” he finished his beer and motioned to the bartender “ay, my good man” he takes a 10,000 yen bill from his jumpsuit pocket and puts it on the bar “here’s a lil something for you and our drinks.”

“Don’t tip my henchman!”

“Shigaraki Tomura! I quite enjoy these patrons” scolded the bartender “for some territorial villains, they have the common courtesy to pay for their drinks and tip well!” 

“Oof, you got full named” I teased “not so tough are ya?”

“LOOK I told you why I’m settling here!” he gets bratty “anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“You got this lair insured or some shit?” Jin asked, cueing our escape plan.

“Ummm this is an abandoned building, so no because I just claimed it on my own.”

“Aww that’s too bad” I finished my drink “I’m giving you to the count of 5 before I burn this place to the ground.”

“If you refuse” Mimi pulls out her sliver glock “I’ll shoot you directly in the butthole.”

“If you somehow survive” Jin pounds his fist in his hand “I’ll end you with my final form.”

“1....2....” I start the countdown and mass hysteria breaks loose, people running around and flooding to the exits “3.....oh what the hell! 5!” I snap to set the wallpaper on fire and a few random things in the room to make it look like the place is going down. Mimi starts shooting and gets 3 people in the butthole, all the while Shigaraki was just standing there in shock, unable to move because of the terror we radiate. I point to him “Tomura Shigaraki, let this be a warning to you. If we see you tread in our city again, I’ll be eating cereal out of your skull!”

“Don’t think we aren’t watching Hand Man” taunted Jin “we lurk in the shadows.” He deploys a portal underneath us so it looks like we just vanished into the ground. Jin portaled us across the street from the agency and we sighed in relief. I teleported us in the building to get scanned for bugs or taps. 

“I can’t believe it” said the lead agent “you three are the real deal! Bravo to you! You gained intel, drove them away AND got drinks?!” we took off our head gear to reveal our sweaty and flushed faces “I’m so proud! why don’t you three hit the showers and rest? I’ll do the paperwork and file the evidence.”

“Yes Sir!” we breathlessly saluted before making the walk to the showers. We washed up, drank water and shared the bed in ‘my room’. I was the first one to wake up, I check the time, it’s 10am. Jin was the next one to wake up, then Mimi to go follow the smell of coffee. After a debriefing with Best Jeanist and Jinko with the lead agent, we were free to go. We didn’t want to stick around, it was saturday, we had shit to do. On the ride back, I turned on my phone and I got the usual texts from my parents but none from Iida or the others. That’s weird, I thought, I would’ve guessed that Tenya blew up my phone. We arrived back to the dorms and just tried to go back to our normal routines. I did my homework and saw that it was just a quarter before 4, time to see if Tenya is in the dorms. Without warning I just teleport in his room, lucky for me, he was hunched over doing homework at his desk.

“Tenya!” I exclaimed with a big dumb smile on my face “did you miss me?”

He turned around and couldn’t believe his eyes “Ita?! You’re back!” he couldn’t control himself and hug tackled me right on the floor “my sweet, dear friend! I’ve been worried sick that something happened to you!”

“I can tell! hehehe” I get squeezed by his hug and just feel how much he worried “I just want to hold you like this” I stroke his hair “I want to feel something nice after all the nastiness I encountered.” I felt his face pressed up in the crook of my neck and those feelings for him came back. Why am I like this?

He rolled off me and sat up “Here, I’ll just place you on my lap” he lifts me up and lays me on his lap and arms like he was cradling a baby “there, much more comfortable!” he looks at how small I am in his arms and smiles “you know, I forget just how much smaller you are compared to me” I put my hand on his face and it reminded him of the rosary “that reminds me! Your necklace” he had it on his neck and took it off “here, I kept it safe.”

“You did! Thank you Tenya” he put it on me and I tucked it away under my shirt collar “I really thought I wasn’t coming back and that was going to be the last thing you were going to remember me by.”

“Well there was also that kiss” he got flushed “I’ve never been kissed before, it stirred up my heart.”

I got a bit sneaky “Ya know, you owe me a kiss.”

He perked up “That’s right! From the dance” he saw that I was getting a little squirmy “if you’re ready, here I go.” I close my eyes and anticipate the kiss, this time he wasn’t nervous or sweating. But he didn’t aim so he kissed my nose “Oh my that’s not where I meant to kiss, I’ll-”

I giggled “I’ll take it! It’s okay” he would miss “tell me, how was everything after I left?”

“Nothing happened worth noting, I came back to the dorms after you left and I just couldn’t stop worrying about you” he held my hand “it made me think about how I should just say how I feel because I won’t know when will be the next time I see them.” 

“You were overthinking huh?”

“Yeah, because I have a lot of things planned for us. I want to go on another adventure with you, I want to take you to my family estate to meet my family, I want to be your date for the next dance” he paused a bit “just...so many things that I want to do with you, because I don’t see myself doing that with anyone else.”

At this point, I’m confused by his actions. He calls me his friend but says shit like that? So am I in the ‘I like you’ zone or what? Either way, I’m not admitting shit unless he says something first.

“Oh si? Well lets start with the thing you promised me”

“Right! I have planned that I we just stay in and I cook for you, finish watching Shrek and maybe dance a little” he sets me on the floor again so he could stand up “we didn’t really do those things properly and I wanted to make things right.”

I levitated up but he wanted to carry me out of his room, I didn’t fight back this time. To my surprise, nobody was in the commons room or dining area, it was nice to have that peace. He made me some pasta dish with chicken but as I thanked him and went in for the first bite, he stopped me.

“Um you’re blocking my fork.”

“Please, let me feed you” he picks up a piece of chicken “I know you have full control of your hands and arms, but I enjoyed feeding you last time. The faces you made with every bite was so adorable” he brought the bite up to my face “I missed all those sweet little quirky things you did.”

I narrowed my eyes as I ate the piece “My quirkiness? Like what?”

He picked up another bite of food for me “Like your morning music in the bathrooms, the way you stop and dance when you hear someone play a certain song, your wheeze when you hear a stupid funny joke” I ate his forkful “when you baby talk with animals, and my personal favorite, when you sing while you do chores.”

“You like my singing?” another forkful of food was offered “why? it’s just songs I grew up hearing.”

“Well, I grew up privileged, the only live singing I heard was during parties or special occasions” he saw that I ate the forkful and picked up another bite “but your upbringing feels like it was full of music and it was never quiet! So when you sing, I can’t help but stop and listen to you express yourself to fill the empty room with your sound.”

“You never got music lessons or anything?” I took the next bite of food.

“My parents focused everything on hero studies to sustain my strong lineage of heroes” he brought the next forkful up to my face “so I never learned to play an instrument, sing nor anything in the fine arts. I always wanted to though! Maybe I wouldn’t be so boring and have more personality.”

“Yeah, maybe” I giggled as I took the next bite “my parent’s didn’t always have enough money to give to me or my siblings but they gave us the gift of music. I took all the free lessons at school and practiced my pieces until I had them memorized.” I swallowed “and by the time I was 12, my school district recognized me as a rising music prodigy. The title meant nothing to me, I was just happy to play and learn new things.”

I told him about my concert disasters and the rivals I made from the other richer schools. All the while he was listening attentively and feeding me. We finished watching Shrek and he still didn’t understand the memes. We walked over to the tree to dance out of sight, he had a playlist saved and played it on his phone as we danced. It was mostly slow dancing music.

“I think I finally realized the thing that’s been bothering me” he looked into my eyes “on who you remind me of.”

“Oh? Who do I remind you of?” I honest to Ru Paul don’t know where this is going and I tried not to sound scared.

“You remind me of my Older brother, Tensei” his face and tone was very sincere “both of you tell me to not worry when you go off on your missions, comfort me when you come back and I just admire both of you for your strength and kindness.”

My heart shattered, I’ve been sibling respect zoned, but I just give a neutral face “I forget you have an older brother sometimes and that your relationship with him is pretty normal than what I have with my older sister.”

“Well, yes it’s different” he clears his throat “I should introduce you to him during summer or winter break, despite his decommission to do hero work, he still runs the agency just as much.” 

I get a little pouty, oof I really am in the sibling zone! But if I meet his brother and can get over the age difference, I may be in a different zone with him. I do my little plot to get with his brother as we dance. But to him, it looks like I’m smiling because I’m having fun with him. He gives me a piggy back ride back to my dorms, we said goodnight and parted for the night.

“More confusing affection?” asked Jin as I passed the living room.

“No, I got sibling respect zoned” I pouted “said that I remind him of his older brother and shit. But if he’s a fool if he doesn’t think I won’t try to fuck his brother if/when he introduces us.”

“His brother is pretty hot not gonna lie” spoke up Yuka from the floor “get it girl! You got heirs to a lineage and estate in your hands if you do.”

“That’s the plan” I finger gun and everyone finger gunned me back “hehehe alright, I’ma go soak my schemin ass in the bath.”

-Monday, In Homeroom-

“Special announcement time kids!” firmly bellowed Diya “as you know, the sports festival is coming up and we don’t do that shit. And there’s a week off of school 2 weeks later, I’m very happy to announce our survival camp trip!” The class hollered in excitement “settle down! Now, it’s a huge deal among our program because theres a scoring bracket, for the guts and glory” Jin raises his hand “Yes Matsui?”

“Will 1st year and 3rd year be joining us?”

“No, 1st year is under qualified and 3rd year turned down the invite for practice tests” Diya responded “So its just us and B class. I’ll be passing out the list of gear you’ll need to pack for the trip after the sports festival weekend. Get ready for the most intense week of your life kids! You’ll wish you were never born.”

“Jokes on you, I already feel like that anyways” Hansai said with a tone of seriousness.

“Oof same” we all chimed in.

“Me too, Hansai, me too” Diya admitted with the rest of us “Now, on to other news! In vehicles and mechs, we’ll be learning to drive non-conventional escape vehicles! Hope you brought your helmets and kneepads! It’s gonna get weird.”

Mimi turns to Jin and I “I can’t wait until we go camping! I hope we see a bear.”

“I just want to see what the objective will be” I ponder “a rescue? a weapon capture? maybe a.... villain lair takedown?”

“Psh! we have experience with that!” Jin said as he mocked my fingers in snap position move “...you have to the count of 5 before I burn this place to the ground!”

Mimi mocks my pose that I did to Shigaraki “...if we catch you in our city again, I’ll be eating cereal out of your skull!”

I rolled my eyes and laughed “Guys stop! I was instilling fear in that Hand Man.”

“I know! But imagine being up in that bitch with our normal voices?!” Jin painted the picture for us “that hot villain would’ve instantly roasted us to ash. And if we managed to defeat him, oof nobody in that lair would’ve taken us seriously!”

“I really wanted that handsome man to intrude me” Mimi bit her lip “if you know what I mean fellas.”

“Mimi please! It’s only 1 hour into class” I scolded “save the sexual tension comments for lunch or some shit.”

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t show him a thing or two in the bedroom” sneered Mimi at me.

“Don’t at me like that” I got flushed “but yea, he’s so sexy and just perf. Too bad he works for that crusty ass of a man.”

“I lowkey want him to leave hand man” Jin sighed in disbelief “I get that he’s a villain and I shouldn’t be showing sympathy but the man is too handsome and powerful to be part of that group. Not to mention, he’s the only one we can’t find info on, where did he come from?”

“That’s what the lead at the agency told me too!” I perked up, remembering “there’s a handful of that blue flame quirk and they’re all in the same family, the Todoroki family. We think it’s the missing son, Touya, BUT it’s inconclusive.”

“Y’all really doing real agent work and shit at that agency” Mimi pouted “all I did was toss beached marine life back into the ocean and watch the lead get in a fist fight with a walrus.”

“That sounds like fun! All I did was freeze half to death and defrosted a gun” Jin added in protest to Mimi’s complaint “I didn’t learn shit! Hokkaido sucks in the winter.”

“Man I should’ve gone to Hokkaido” Mimi sighed tiredly “I love snow and cold weather, reminds me of home and my dad.”

Fast forward to the last half of vehicle and mechs class same day, shit starts to get crazy.

“Ya know, I’m having fun now but I’m gonna Mcfuckin suffer out in the field if this is my only option for escape” I say as I’m propelling myself on roller skates “my quirk isn’t built for speed and my little legs can’t do shit with these wheels.”

“Wanna trade then?” said Mimi stuffed in a go cart that’s barely droning on “I’m too tall for this shit.”

“Naw, that shit ain’t got brakes” 

We hear Jin scream in the distance as the rev of a 4-wheeler rips hard and accelerates. “That’s bullshit, Jin always gets the good gear and can’t handle it at the end” Mimi turns to me “You gonna go turbo and save him?”

“Nobody else is gonna do it” I groan “Where the fuck is Diya when you need him?!” I start to pick up speed to go rescue Jin from crashing the big, scary vroom vroom...for the 10th time this school year.

“You guys hear that?” said Mineta “it sounds like a runaway motor.”

“Shut up balls for brains!” yelled Bakugo “we have to finish this fucking group exercise before class ends or we’ll get late punishment!”

“No shhh! listen!” Sero hushes everyone to let them hear the noise “why does it sound like it’s getting closer?”

In comes Jin on a 4 wheeler through the open gym doors and out the other side, then I follow panting and on roller skates. “Aw fuck! Any yall get hurt?”

“No but what the fuck Palma-san?!” Kaminari screamed “I want to drive one of those things! You always get to do all the cool stuff.”

“Do you need help? Is your friend in trouble?!” asked Tokoyami.

“I need to go rescue him before he crashes or causes damage” I pant “but I’m stuck with these shitty wheels and I can’t run or levitate that fast to catch up!” I scan the room and see Iida “TENYA! I need you!” 

“Me? What do you need me for?” he said as he climbed down from a rope ladder.

“Let me copy your quirk” I put my hands out “its my only chance at catching up with him.”

“Of course! Here” he puts his face in my hands “anything for you Ita.”

Everyone looks as I sprout engines on my legs and ribs “Thanks! I owe you one Tenya!” I charge up my speed off “gotta blast!” I take off so fast, everyone almost missed me when they blinked. They all ran out the gym as they saw me catch up to Jin to turn off the 4-wheeler.

“Soooo, are we going to ignore the fact that she asked for Iida-kun in particular?” Sero spoke up, trying to start something “when she could’ve asked for Todoroki’s fire, Bakugo’s blasts, Mina’s acid, My tape, Tokoyami’s dark shadow or Aoyama’s laser to propel herself faster?” 

“YOU’RE RIGHT!” Kirishima gasped “Bro, she has a thing for you!” he elbowed Iida “ask her to be your girlfriend already! She already trusts you enough to help her.”

“Hmm I don’t know about this one guys” Midoriya spoke up after running some calculations in his head “Iida-kun’s engines are fast if used properly and she did spend the whole year refining our quirks for future use” he crosses his arms “I’m saying that she knows what’s best for any given situation.”

“Thank you Midoriya-kun” Iida fixes his glasses “she’s smart and uses what she has on hand, just because I like her doesn’t mean she likes me back.”

“Oh yea? Okay then, what did she give you on Valentines day?” Mineta interrogated Iida.

“She gave me a berry tart she baked herself in a nicely hand-decorated cake box.”

“And was this tart delicious?” Mineta’s eyes narrowed.

“Yes, everything she makes is delicious” he crossed his arms “I gave her my best compliments.”

“Iida-kun, you block head!” Hagakure scolded “when a girl gives you something like that, that means she likes you and you’re supposed to tell her how you feel” everyone agreed and she added “what did you tell her?”

“I said that I enjoyed her tart and that I’m very fortunate to have a friend like her to get such a gift” he said confidently but everyone was getting upset.

“Poor thing must’ve been heartbroken!” Momo gasped “why won’t you tell her how you feel? Most of your gestures toward her seem like you’re leading her on and it’s confusing.”

“Look I appreciate your concerns about me and Ita” he looks off in distance to see her riding the 4-wheeler back to where her class is “but I feel like her heart isn’t ready to take on my version of things” he remembers our past conversations “she’s really working on herself as a person and very hard at that. Since moving out of our dorms, she became a better student and agent, all because we aren’t there to pester her about crushes or other non-academic things. Trust me, I miss her and worry about her just as much as you do but” he sighs and turns to head back in the gym “I need to give her space so she can be happy with herself before she can be happy with me in the mix.”

“Bro that was so noble” Sero wiped a tear off his face “she’s the luckiest girl to have somebody like you.”

The school day is almost wrapped up for the day ,and for the hero A class, class let out early. Iida, Midoriya and Kirishima make their way to the East school exit when the sound of jazz music catches their attention.

“What soulful sound!” Midoriya perks up and points to a hallway “that has to be coming from the auditorium!” The boys walk toward the auditorium and take a peek through the half opened door. On stage was a Big Band arrangement of Palma-san and some of her classmates performing. “Oh wow, look at Palma-san! She’s in her element.”

“How can you tell?” Kirishima asked “I don’t see how performing for an empty room can be anyone’s element.”

“She’s doing that thing where she’s smiling while sings” Midoriya point out as she does it “also her voice is carrying, see? She’s not even microphoned but we heard her from the main hall.”

She finishes her song and there was 3 people clapping “Any requests?” Palma asks the audience.

“Yo! play Lovefool!” Mic requested enthusiastically “I dedicate it to Shota.”

“Aww how sweet” Midnight squealed “you’re a lucky man Shota to have such a romantic man!”

“I guess” Aizawa grumbled as he slumped in his sleeping bag to hide his big dumb smile.

“This song goes out to those stubborn loves” I count off the band to start “...Dear I fear we’re facing a problem...”

“Wow, I never noticed how much charm her voice is” Kirishima awed “it’s like it was made for entertainment! What do you think Iida-kun?”

He wasn’t paying attention to what Kirishima was saying, all his focus was on her singing and longing that the song was for him. “Hm? what did you say?” Iida finally said something after a minute.

“Looks like you’re entranced by her voice too huh?” Midoriya observed “it’s nothing to be embarrassed about Iida-kun. Just don’t wait too long on her” he points to Shinso and Monoma, who were in different parts of the auditorium doing the same thing, watching her from afar. “looks like you’re not the only one that can’t tell her their true feelings.”

“...I can’t care about anything, but you~” 

-End Chapter 24-

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#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 24 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #ya like jazz? #lmao but deadass #I'm one of those band kids

[lavenderprose]

Please imagine

Viktor Nikiforov, a child star whose career started on Disney Channel Russia. Made the move to mainstream Disney Channel in ‘06 or ‘07 thanks to his ‘heartthrob’ status and a little thing he likes to call “The Summer We Don’t Talk About” that is, the summer he was an international contestant on the Disney Channel Games. To this day there are gifs of him floating around on the internet with all 700 feet of his hair piled on top of his head while he eats cream pie with only his face.

Fast forward ten years and he’s been in half a dozen or so pretty influential movies and despite the whole Disney thing and a period in his career where he was type cast in romcoms, he’s generally pretty well-respected. Sometimes people still run up to him and scream lines from that movie-musical about ice skating he did when he was nineteen (”OH MY GOD CAN YOU SING STAY CLOSE TO ME THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SONG WHEN I WAS ELEVEN CAN I PUT THIS ON INSTAGRAM”) but hey, you win some you lose some.

He encounters Yuuri Katsuki who’s ridiculously talented, got his start on like a Sorkin drama and is now in the running for a fucking Oscar and has exactly zero (0) self-esteem and who Viktor wants to be around All The Time and who has somehow let himself be convinced that Viktor is a suave, classy leading man when Viktor still sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, ‘HI I’M VIKTOR NIKIFOROV FROM GRAND PRIX AND YOU’RE WATCHING DISNEY CHANNEL’

After their wedding (because of course they get married) they end up spending a few weeks in a condo Yuuri has in Detroit and while Viktor’s looking for the broom (”Looking for the broom,” a phrase which here means “Snooping through Yuuri’s old stuff”) one day, half a dozen rolled-up posters fall onto Viktor’s head and because curiosity killed the fucking cat he unrolls one.

Staring back at him is his own damn self, lanky and reedy as fuck with hair down to his fuckin butt wearing a shorts/tee-shirt combo and the words DISNEY CHANNEL GAMES on the chest. What a little asshole this motherfucker is. Why are you smiling? Is there life in those eyes? Is this a cry for helP?

That’s when Oscar-winner Yuuri Kastuki, Viktor’s husband, comes wobbling in half-asleep, sees Viktor with his fucking CONTRABAND in his hands and goes, “Oh. OH.”

“I was doing such a good job blocking this out of my memory,” Viktor says mournfully, staring at that stupid twink who has no idea that he will someday be married to Best Actor In A Leading Roll Yuuri Katsuki. 

“Oh my God,” Yuuri mumbles.

“Do you know how bad Corbin Bleu’s feet smell after running an obstacle course with a water feature, Yuuri?”

“Why would I know that.”

“Because I do. These are the memories I have to live with every day.”

“Do you want me to get rid of it?”

“No,” Viktor says. “It’s fine. I don’t care. I’ll never trust again, but that doesn’t matter.”

“Why did I marry you.”

The poster disappears the next day and Viktor goes through life happily believing that Yuuri destroyed it in some way, preferably in one involving fire.

(In reality, Yuuri mailed it home to his parents in Japan, where it lives on shoved under his bed like the dirty secret it is. Maybe it’ll be worth something someday.)

#Victuuri #Viktor Nikiforov #Katsuki Yuuri #Yuri on Ice #YOI #Maggie's Fic