#killugon deserves better

[mariposahxh]

it’s an actual crime that the anime skipped the part when Killua gave Gon the rainbow diamond.

A CRIME.

update :

EVEN THE 90s VERSION SKIPPED IT ARE YOU FUCJIBNG KIDDING ME

AND I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GAYEST ADAPTATION

rare nippon animation L

me rn

#killugon #killugon propaganda #killugon deserves better #sorry i’m just being a hater #i actually love the anime adaptation #except for scenes like this #fuck scenes like this

[hxhhasmysoul]

Sorry if I'm late for the ship ask game. Can I ask for these ships :

- Killua/Gon (my fav non canon ship from any shounen until now)

- Zuko/Sokka (my fav ship from ATLA, and they're also my top 5 fav characters from that series)

- Gojo/ Getou (sorry, I know you dislike those two, but I want to know your opinion on this ship. Also, they're my main reason to enter JJK fandom)

Thx if you want to answer

KilluGon

Absolutely ship it!

What made you ship it?

Canon, they're prone to these very romantic moments.

What are your favourite things about the ship?

How devoted they are to one another. They meet by accident and get entangled with each other so quickly. Killua follows Gon around during the exam, then Gon goes to save him and since then it becomes a duh for them that they do everything together. And then the trauma they both endure puts a strain on their bond and we see in real time how their relationship partially sours because they are too young and they don't know how to deal with the trauma and the stress. They make each other better and worse, and it just feels so real. It's just amazing.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Idk how unpopular it really is but Gon isn't abnormally selfish, and he's not some villain in their relationship. They both contribute to it hurting them both. People getting hurt in relationships and still fighting for them and working on them is just so normal. I think also that people who dislike Gon or have no interest in him should no be shipping this. And Killua isn't a soft uwu boi. He's got a mean streak, is petty and prone to addiction, the soft boi outfits are a lie.

Zuko/Sokka

I don't ship it.

Why don’t you ship it?

In a previous ask reply I talked about how much I like MaiKo. And that's just my default ship for Zuko. The thing with Sokka is that his heterosexuality forces him to reconsider his misogyny, it's not ideal that this is what makes him start respecting women but honestly, who cares as long as he doesn't act like sad loser towards women in the end. And I'm saying this because having a sister who was his life line and his keeper for years after they lost their mother and were left behind by their father, did nothing to make him not a dick to women. And I think that if Sokka'd been gay, he'd've never changed. He'd've been one of those gays who look down at women. What if he lead Zuko there too? Like Azula makes Zuko's life quite awful, so some bigoted takes about women could've made him a misogynist and feel justified for it too.

What would have made you like it?

If they had more chemistry in canon. I just can't imagine an exciting dynamic between them to engage in shipping it? Nothing about this ship makes me think they could make each other better and that's a must for me to ship anything, really.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I'm sorry but not really. I have barely seen this ship around because I don't go to the ATLA fandom, I don't think even fanart for it has ever crossed my dash. I mean it's marginally better than Zuko/Katara, because that one is just toxic heterosexuality the ship.

Gojo/ Getou

omg, not really.

Why don’t you ship it?

Like with HisoIllu, I accept that this is a logical ship and it's likely canon. But unlike HisoIllu, I actually actively can't stand it.

Generally, considering how toxic Gojou's personality is, I consider all his het ships misogyny and all his queer ship, queerphobia, even such absolutely toxic shit like SukuGo, even GoKen, even Gojou/Touji. I don't even like Touji but not even he deserves that. Apart from SatoSugu. Getou was a truly disgusting fascist adult and a condescending fuck as a teen, I think they can have each other.

Why I actively despise it, is because of the fandom. The fans of these two characters separately and those of this ship are some of the loudest and most obnoxious in this fandom. They will literally take panels, scenes or chapters that are about other characters and unleash some truly unhinged word vomit to make it seem like there's some connection to Gojou, Getou or their ship. Usually it's either complete misrepresentation of what is in the manga or pure untagged fanfiction. But the tags of other characters get regularly flooded by this kind of shit. They act as if they couldn't stand there being parts of the JJK fandom where their favs are not worshiped, where their ship is not the most important thing.

What would have made you like it?

Nothing. If it weren't for the fans, I would've been neutral about it. I wouldn't have cared about it because a thought about any dynamic between these two assholes leaves me completely cold. But I wouldn't've cringed when I saw it in the tags to the fics in my tags. I wouldn't've cringed writing the single Gojou involving scene I've ever written.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

No, I'm still sad that the most awful fans of these two and their ship haven't rage quit the fandom when Sukuna finally reduced Gojou to tolerable portions. Honestly it seems to be getting worse. Despite how liberally I block, it still often feels, even on some leaks days, that there's more about this ship in the JJK tags than of the actually relevant stuff.

#answering asks #thank you for the ask #i'm sorry for being harsh about sokka #i actually like him #i just don't care about him from the shipping standpoint #hxh #hunter x hunter #gon freecss #killua zoldyck #atla #sokka #zuko #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #suguru getou #satosugu

[bootlickerhawks]

7 and 16 for the hate ask game<3

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

... I'm gonna get sm hate for this ;w;

I will preface by saying that hate is a strong word for what I feel abt these characters and would prefer to describe it as "apathy" no I'm not saying this as a desperate measure to prevent myself from being stoned to death why would you say that

........ momo, tsuyu and kirishima...

You have to understand that I joined the fandom in 2017 and people were so fucking annoying abt these three. It was impossible to go into the tags back then and not run into posts like "You're a bad person if you dislike Tsuyu/Momo" or "It's possible to dislike Kirishima/Tsuyu" blablabla. And I'm the kind of person that if you try to shove something down my throat I will spit it back in your face just to prove a point.

I understand fans wanting to hype up their favs but I found Tsuyu and (especially) Momo to be extremely underwhelming so that behavior just turned me off. & Kirishima is bc the kiribaku fandom were a fucking menace back in the day.

Despite my feelings for them, they're all good characters that deserved better opportunities to shine (rip all the ex-naruto/class 1A fans that wanted to see the konoha 13 done right)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

omg I have sm fanon gripes, I'll just list a few otherwise we'll be here all day 💀

also sorry if I offend anyone

I never understood the trend in dabihawks fics to write Hawks as the functional sane perfect emotional support bf. He is an emotionally constipated indoctrinated murder chicken with serious mommy & daddy issues, how tf does that translate to perfect bf?

*widely gesticulates at Miruko's entire character* Miruko is the perfect example of widespread fanon characterization being absolute garbage. I get the knee jerk reaction of wanting to save her from Horikoshi's questionable writing, but in the process the fandom sand down all her rough ("problematic") edges & just leave her an empty soulless sock-puppet wearing Miruko's skin. Canon Miruko doesn't have much going for her but somehow Fanon Miruko manages to be even more shallow. #sorrynotsorry

I'm gonna get flack for this but I don't like the way fandom tends to portray found family. It feels inauthentic to me, especially when dealing with dysfunctional self-destructive and emotionally constipated individuals like the LOV. Found Fam LOV used to be my jam but I've grown tired of it 😔

And speaking of the LOV.... I love Spinaraki but I don't like the way most of the fandom interprets and depicts their relationship. Spinner's fanatic devotion to Shigaraki isn't healthy. Idk if I've talked abt it on this blog before but I see a lot of parallels between Killugon (hxh) and Spinaraki.

(Incoming spoilers for hxh chimera ant arc) In both cases you have person A (Gon/Shigaraki) going down a self destructive path, fueled by self loathing and person B (Killua/Spinner) that is extremely devoted to person A but bc of their lack of self worth is unequipped to truly help them and in the process unintentionally enables them.

I'm all for witnessing unhealthy devotion in fiction, I eat that shit up. But it does make me uncomfortable when I see people interpreting it in a purely positive light.

#asks #omgggg this got long #thanks for the ask!! <3 i loved getting the opportunity to rant lmao #ask game : choose violence #i just realized i could have talked abt any fandom but my mind jumped to bnha lol #long post

[helenawa-art]

Tell me,

#i was feeling melancholic #so y'all suffer with me #today is missing them day #my beloveds #deserved better #hxh #hxh fanart #fanart #digital art #killua #gon #killugon #hxh comic #wa_art🏵️

[baker-chan-senpai]

birthday doodle for birthday boy? happy bday killua 😎

#killua zoldyck #gon freecss #killugon #hxh #hunter x hunter #imma be honest i drew this in like 5 minutes #my boy deserves better #sorry #art #digital art

[kijuuuse]

komugi appreciation🌱

#she deserved better #hxh 2011 #hxh fanart #komugi #hxh komugi #hxh meruem #hxh anime #hunter x hunter #komugi hxh #they All deserved better #anyways chimera ant arc didnt happen #lol wym #killugon #hxh

[cathwritestragediesnotsins]

Hunter x Hunter ep. 85

Fuck. 

#just watched that episode #kite #kite deserved better #hah #hxh #kite hxh #hunter x hunter #gon freecss #killua zoldyck #killugon #killua x gon #gon x killua #anime #fuck ging #kite was the father gon deserved #the father I deserved #the father WE deserved #illumi zoldyck #hisoka morrow #hisoka x reader #chimera ant arc #chimera ant #hxh spoilers #hunter x hunter spoilers #i miss him already #i miss him #Posts by cath

[sincerelysamedt]

I just realized that when Gotoh d*ed, Killua (unknowingly) lost a father figure, just like Gon did when Kite d*ied, and now I wonder when Killua finds out about Gotoh's d*ath, how will he react and how will Gon support him throughout?

#killua zoldyck #gotoh #killugon #why are these children losing their parents like this #god my heart hurts for killua all over again #hes gonna cry #gotoh deserved better istg #GOTOH DESERVED BETTER

[hinamikasa]

why can’t illumi use his needles for knitting instead why must he stick them in his brother’s head 

#chimera ant is so good im speeding thru it so quick im @ ep 104 rn and im getting more scared every episode #one thing i really appreciate about this arc is killua.. killua's always been shown to be the one who is overpowered #and its been heartbreaking but also v interesting to see him battle with his urge to runaway due to his abuse from illumi #but !! also makes me so happy seeing him overcome it #on the other hand i miss kite so much and he deserved better im UPSET #but the blind girl playing games w the ant king seems rly promising i love her so so much already #im v surprised that hisoka hasn't made a dramatic entrance in this arc yet hFHJD #do leorio and kurapika make an appearance in this arc??? pls tell me they do i miss them #i have so many screencaps from this arc that i keep forgetting to post hfhhfghg the killugon has been generous #anyways #carrie watches hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh spoilers

[bee-s-honey]

HxH Master list

✧ ☆ ✯ ✷

Will add to as I go

Ships are way below. They're there but not in character areas.

🍋=nsfw/18+

🍎=oneshot, writing, drabble. Not HC

🍊=textpost, shitpost, joke, small rant, not HC or writing

🍑= the same thing as orange except a larger project. Something maybe not quite a writing piece or hc, but something still artful and neat

🍒=oneshot COLLECTION. Multiple oneshots in one post for a shared prompt

🍇=Moodboard COLLECTION. Same thing as peach but with multiple

🍓=some of my favorites

Loose leaf= unprompted random & with no strict theme

Events and prompts:

Multiple prompts might be open at the same time so if you send in a request specify which one you're getting it from. Any prompt with an emoji setup might have some same emojis as another prompt, so I need to know which list you're getting it from

Closed yandere hcs event

Closed(temporarily) Nature Emoji Themed Prompt List ➝Masterlist

Closed Matchup Event

➝Masterlist

Closed Mini 200 follower event

➝Masterlist

Closed Matchup Event

➝Masterlist

All Characters/General/other characters:

-What the hxh characters smell like joke post

-What they smell like pt 2

-HxH Character's Dicks HCs🍋

-Funny little Textpost I made🍊

-Rant about fandom homophobia🍊

-HxH Character's pronouns and sexuality outside of aus/general

-Nicknames for reader and each other

-Describing objects or scenery or scenarios that match the vibes of the characters🍑

-Would I make my f/os better or worse🤔🍊

-With an s/o who collects trinkets

-Loose Leaf Random Headcanons🍓

-mini rant about Zoldyck Family stans🍊

-Piercing HCs

-Physical features hcs

-Small look into opinions on Kurapika and Gon morally

-Small post about my opinions on Phantom Rouge movie

Main Four + Allu

-Random little Killua & Gon Hcs 1🍓

-How Leorio would end up adopting Killua probably 🍊

-All of them(m4+Allu/Nan)getting cats that match them🍓

-Matching cats au pt 2

Gon:

-Rant/joke ab Fandom analyzing Gon🍊

-Quick note ab Gon's morals🍊

-Loose leaf Relationship Hcs

-Complaining about gon antis again🍊

-Small HC that gon says 'like' a lot🍊

Kurapika:

-W/ crush who's known him since hxh exam long post

-Soft- Readers first time HCs

-Valentines day jealousy a lil bit

-Kink hcs🍋

Leorio:

-Random small HC for an interest he has🍓

Killua:

-Loose leaf Killua HCs. Soft/fluff🍓

-Rant- how the fandom discards Killua's trauma for Illumi🍊🍓

Alluka:

Phantom Troupe + Adult Trio

-People who hc this deserve flowers🍊

-Shal, Illu, and Hiso sfw and nsfw marriage HCs🍋

-Adult trio teaching you nen

Hisoka:

-Loose leaf hcs🍓

-Drabble/wip of him having some conflicted thoughts on his love for you in gruesome ways

-Yandere even Masterlist

Chrollo:

#Chrollo.aesthetics → started doing that thing where I reblog pictures that remind me of characters and tag them! I thought that would be cute so you can use this as a search for them! As of now I only have Chrollo ones so that's why only he is here

-Nature prompt masterlist

-Kinks🍋🍓

-Loose leaf hcs🍓

-Obsessed With You pt 1 [Yandere Chrollo kidnapping his darling]🍎🍓

-Obsessed With You pt 2🍎🍓

-rant about someone saying dumb stuff about Chrollo🍊

-Yandere Chro when darling is homesick

-Yandere even Masterlist

Kalluto:

-Kalluto needs a coin like Kanao🍊

-loose leaf hcs

-more hcs

Illumi:

-nature prompt masterlist

-Yandere event Masterlist

Machi:

Shizuku:

Pakunoda:

Feitan:

-W/ s/o who likes to sing

-Feitan's Kinks🍋

-nature prompt masterlist

Nobunaga:

Shalnark:

-kinks🍋

Ships

Killugon

Leopika

Kurokura

-Fluff-Bickering post-DC AU slight allude to angst🍎

-Soft kurokura anniversary HC-Drabble

Hisollu

[storybookprincess]

hello i hope you’re doing well!

just wanted to say that your writing is absolutely gorgeous!!! i’ve been binging your fics and the way you characterise gon and killua is perfect + killua getting the love he deserves is the best fic 🥺 but your writing just makes it even better aaa it’s just magical

oh goodness i do not mean to give you way more than you bargained for in this reply but thank you thank you 💖💖💖 i’ve had a really tough week & this kind message lifted my spirits immensely. it means so so much that you enjoy some of my killugon fics—i’m so excited to share my upcoming one!!!! i hope you like it too!! thank you again 💖💖

#asked and answered #Anonymous

[bootlickerhawks]

HxH right back at ya x)

the first character i ever fell in love with:

the second Killua showed up with a skateboard I knew I was fucked

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Uuuuuh I don't have one? I like most of the characters one way or another

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:

i'm new to the fandom so I haven't had a chance to lose interest in any ship I have lol

my ultimate favorite character™:

It's a tie between Gon and Killua. Killua started off as my blorbo but what CAA did with Gon still blows me away! I've been craving to see a character arc like Gon's for years and it was executed beautifully! *starts sobbing*

prettiest character:

Chimera Ant!Palm and Machi are gorgeous! And Chrollo with his hair down is unfairly cute

and not to sound like a furry but Welfin is cute too

my most hated character:

Genthru. He had a cool ability and his fight with Gon did a great job showcasing Gon's personality flaws but other than that he was boring (which everyone knows is the biggest crime a character can commit lmao)

my OTP:

I'm predictable as hell, ofc my otp is killugon

my NOTP:

merukomu cuz HOW DARE THEY MAKE ME CRY SM ;A;

favorite episode:

131! I'd even go so far as to say it's my favorite anime episode of all time! Hell, I even bought a poster of it today!

saddest death:

Merukomu CUZ TOGASHI HAS NO REGARD FOR MY FEELINGS ;A; (I'm still reeling from the audacity of giving us a glimpse of their cold dead hands in the final episode)

favorite season:

Chimera Ant Arc cuz, once again, I'm predictable as hell

least favorite season:

Greed Island is very important for Gon and Killua's growth and the dogeball game was fantastic but the rest was just ok imo

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

Again, I don't hate any of the characters in hxh but.... compared to the rest of the fandom I don't really care abt Kurapika that much 😔 Kurapika is the kind of character where I need to see how his story plays out before I get emotionally invested (similar to Aki from CSM)

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:

Hisoka!!!

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:

Alluka! I really hope she gets more development 🥺 (idk if this is a popular theory in the fandom but I really like the idea of her being the one to save Kalluto from the Zoldycks)

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:

....

Chrollo/Kurapika...

IM SORRY 😭 ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY HAVE A FASCINATING DYNAMIC

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:

Melody-Senritsu/Kurapika. They're cute af and it makes me sad people don't ship them more.

Alluka/Zushi is cute af too

#asks #ask game #thanks for the ask!! #long post

[arcaladiwoompa]

My HxHBB21 Fic Recs

Hello everyone!  Having read pretty much all of this years Hunter x Hunter Big Bang Fics, I’d like to share some of the ones I enjoyed.

PART 1 - Fics that deserve way more attention! (Arranged in order of fewest hits first)

1. SilverSphere’s Werewolf Hunter AU:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32348971

ONLY 31 HITS??? Are we going to let that gorgeous storybook style formatting go to waste?  It’s a Wild West style adventure that makes use of a whole host of minor characters I’ve never seen anyone incorporate into their fics before.  A lot of thought has gone into the world building.

2. This is Home by Midlifecrisisketh

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32750134/chapters/81253831

Only 62 hits on this one.  Don’t pass over it just because it’s gen!  This fic starts off with a sad but also heartwarming reunion between Gon and Leorio.  I’m definitely getting some found family vibes here.  Everyone needs to heal a little.

3. Flavus’s Amazing Race AU:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32910733/chapters/81675811

IT ONLY HAS 116 HITS THIS IS A CRIME!  This fic has something for everyone who likes any of the main four characters.  There’s Killua who has essentially been adopted by Bisky, and who just wants to shield his younger siblings from harm.  FAMILY!  DOMESTICITY!  MY HEART!  There’s Gon who has essentially been adopted by Kite, who is a way better father than SOME PEOPLE WE COULD NAME.  There’s Kurapika who has no idea what to do with his life after achieving his mission, with Melody knowing everything and also being comforting I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE IS THE BEST.  And then there’s Leorio struggling to pay for still-alive Pietro’s medical bills.  I want to hug all of them.

4. Vennat’s AU where Gon joins the Ryodan at the tender age of 4:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32598946/chapters/80864233

Only 179 hits on this one!  I am so intrigued by the concept of this AU and I’m dying to find out what happens next.

5. Killugonist’s The Princess and the Frog AU:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32701198/chapters/81126196

ExCUSE me, the most popular ship in this fandom and somehow only has 219 hits?  How did this happen?  I don’t ship Killugon myself, but this fic even drew me in with the storytelling and I can’t wait to see what happens next.  We’ve got some humor and a few plot twists in here already.

6. Dodici’s Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy AU:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32423947

Only 278 hits on this one!  I SO WANT TO DRAW alien Kurapika and cyborg encyclopedia Gon and murder kitten Killua and two-headed Oito and Woble.  This story is full of humor and action!  Please give it a read!

Coming up in the next edition of my HxHBB21 fic recs is Part 2: the Leopikas.  I’ll post in a week or so to give you guys some time to read the first batch first.

#fic recs #hxhbb21 #hunter x hunter big bang 2021 #Hunter X Hunter

[telehxhtrash]

i dont like people who say “can’t killua and gon just be best friends ?? i like friendship better than romance” like DUDE this trope has been DONE AND REDONE thousands of times in the shounen genre over the course of the years

HOW MANY DEEP PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS STORIES are we gonna get ?? its a CLASSIC TROPE

what we need is a twist on this trope, and thats why i love killugon. sometimes you can actually develop romantic feelings for your best bro. sometimes what starts out as a deep platonic friendship can evolve into more. 

dont act like the lgbt community doesnt need that kind of representation, cuz we do. we deserve that pure, best friends to lovers trope

and we all know togashi is deeply invested in queer representation, has planted a lot of subtext, and loves adding his twist on classic shounen tropes.

making killua and gon fall in love with each other would be great representation AND a twist on that classic deep platonic friendship shounen trope and something that togashi could definitely do

#hxh #killugon #i have killugon brainrot tbh #but like for real weve seen so many stories about platonic best friends #i really want more queer representation #and a twist on that bullshit deep friendship trope #anyways killugon is a love story

[cocogum]

On February of 2018, Viz Media released the first movie of Hunter x Hunter called Phantom Rouge. The first time I’ve watched it, I became really invested in Retz’s story given that we don’t see many girls of Gon and Killua’s age in the canon timeline.

So this was pretty much a breath of fresh air not to mention that her background was such a tragedy that it only made me love her more than I should’ve. I generally don’t have soft spots for non canon characters but Retz managed to do the impossible. (Also I really love her design it was so unique and so her!!)

When the movie (sadly) ended, I was curious to know what people might think of it, what did they like, dislike and what were their favourite parts. Some comments were about the plot and it’s inconsistencies, some were about how they love the soundtracks and the tiny past glimpse that we got from assassin Killua as well as Kurapika’s childhood. And some just loved the animation.

But when it came to Retz..

The results were shocking to say the least.

Before I start talking about what I found, let me remind you that you have the right to hate characters in any shows whether they are anime or not. However, there is a thick line between hating a character and LOATHING a character. Especially if you have petty reasons to hate one for it. If you don’t like Retz then that’s fine it’s your choice. I’m addressing the ones who wanted her dead all along.

Yea I’m not joking. Some people literally sound like they’re cyber bullying her when she’s an ANIME CHARACTER. At first, I didn’t believe that such people would go that far. I figured that they might have not realized how toxic they sounded like and probably had a bad day. But as I continued searching, I started noticing that each of them had one thing in common.

The haters were mostly killugon fans.

I know shocking.

And there’s much more. Worse than these.

(I cannot tell you how many times I got disgusted when I tried looking for proof. It was so petty that it hurts)

Now the question here is: Does Retz deserve the hate?

The answer: No.

Thankfully, on the other side of the fandom, some general fans had a lot to say about it.

Some said they really liked Retz.

While others explained Killua’s unusual behaviour that he had towards her (he acted really unusually but since it wasn’t written by Togashi I can see why).

Now that we’re mentioning Killua, let me remind you that he never despised her. He was cautious and cold around her because he knew she was hiding something from them from the start and didn’t like how she was acting all friendly with Gon. But he still decided to give her a chance by giving her a compliment (by saying that her puppet has beautiful eyes) and warning her that it was dangerous to come with them to see Omokage.

To be honest, they both had a lot in common.

Both of their brothers are overprotective of them and share a twisted love.

They both don’t want to become like their brother. (Killua doesn’t want to be an assassin and Retz doesn’t want to steal eyes for her brother’s creations)

They both want to truly live.

They both want to be free and have a normal life.

At the end of the day, he tries saving her from the fire but he gets stopped by Gon because unlike Killua, Gon knows that Retz wants to get back with Omokage. To live in memories.

I desperately wanted to see more of this trio but sadly we didn’t see enough. I’m still glad I got to see this movie mainly because of the characters and not the plot.

Retz was one of the most saddest characters I have ever seen in the hxh universe and I really do think that she could’ve deserved better. Not to mention that she died twice. As a human and as a puppet. Rest in peace you angel ❤️

thanks for reading💕

#‼️movie spoilers‼️ #retz is such a cutie #doesn’t deserve the hate #defending retz #retz #Retsu #anime #hxh Retz #hxh retz #hxh #manga #hxh 1999 #hunter x hunter #hxh 2011 #hunterxhunter #hxh phantom rouge #hxh movie #hxh phantom rouge movie

[reeeyachi]

Title: Eight

Prompt: “I thought that it was worth it, to let myself just disappear.” Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst Setting: School AU Characters: Gon, Killua Requested by: @attack-on-bocchan

Words: 1,632

A/N: Mental health awareness month in here is coming up and I’ve been wanting to publish something to contribute to this. I’ve added trigger warnings in the tags, fyi. This piece holds so much meaning for me. I hope you’ll appreciate it. :’)

Disclaimer: I haven’t been reading killugon fics lately, so please don’t come at me if you think this is a rip-off of any existing killugon angst fic. (uwu)

–

He always found him at the rooftop after school.

The boy with an iridescent cloud as hair and insipid sapphires as eyes, gazing into the nearing sunset as his feet swayed midair, arms curled to the metal railing of the ledge where he had positioned himself to park. His usual spot. The spot where Gon had never seen anyone come near to, let alone loiter in, even at peak hours when it was empty.

Empty.

He wondered why, out of all the times he had visited that part of the building, he would only see the boy when his chest felt the most hollow, when his skull felt the most chaotic, when his limbs felt the most frail, and when his spirit felt the most insecure.

He wondered how, even as he looked the other way, or tiptoed to the other side, even as words dissolved in his throat, the constant need to end his turmoil by floating with the wind dissipates at the sight of him—serene, peaceful him, with airstream reeling between the strands of his hair and puffing it in all the right places. It felt like warm sand under Gon’s bare feet. It felt like home, comfortable, accepting of his weak self.

It would feel okay to fail.

It would feel right to cry.

Weak.

Why did he have to be one? Was he born with a feeble mind?

It wasn’t like this when he was younger. He wasn’t like this six months ago before he moved from Whale Island to Padokea to live with his dad. He was always precise. He always learned how to deliver, enthused about things he had no prior knowledge of, always moved by how bugs grow and how trees reproduce, always embarked on a commission with bloomed flesh and a sparkly-white beam. Wonder and imagination found a home above his head, lightbulb never running out of energy, bright and buoyant, excited and optimistic. Aunt Mito and Grandma Abe always smiled in his presence. Birds happily sung on his windowsill at dawn. Plants thrived with his touch.

It was magic—his gift, his talent. Gon always thought that he was born to discover the world and everything that lived in it. He found a reason to step forward, to understand and connect with nature, embodying the bliss it was feeding him with, and determined to share the same level of happiness he always felt, delighted to be able to shed his rays after a snowstorm. Happy. In awe. Skipping heartbeats.

Purpose.

How could he now reduce himself to a speck of dust? How could he not remember the last time someone greeted him a good morning in the hallways? How could he not paint his classmates’ canvasses the colors of the rainbow with his sunlit eyes? How could these people be so distant and opaque? How could he not feel like he didn’t belong in his father’s house? His bones had felt hollow; his drive entropic.

He wasn’t like this.

He never had this unending storm cloud hanging heavily from his shoulders.

He had never been in this limitless void inside his head.

Empty.

Weak.

Does anybody want him around? Does anybody even want to be his friend?

“Are you gonna jump?”

Friend.

Gon realized that he was spiraling into the deleterious cave that had inevitably formed in his core, for his head spun back into that afternoon reality when he heard an unfamiliar voice. Jump? He caught his breath and clutched the buttons of his uniform over his quavering chest. His heart did, he figured, up and down the trampoline until his glimmering russets met the sea.

It stopped.

“Why are you always crying?” the boy mumbled curiously, brows meeting at the bridge of his nose as he shifted his weight on the ledge to face Gon.

Eight—the number of times he saw him at that exact same spot, the number of times he had helplessly sprinted to the rooftop to clear his head and gasp for air. But not once did they speak. Not once did their eyes meet. Was Gon imagining things? Did he finally fall into the rabbit hole of pure murk, and now dreaming of what could have been?

In response to the question, Gon touched his own cheeks. Wet. He blinked. A sniffle. Was he crying? He turned around and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, flustered beyond comparison, embarrassed to be revealing his inner flaw to a stranger. “Sorry,” he said as he tried to line up his thoughts, pulses hammering in his temples. He shouldn’t be crying. No, he shouldn’t allow himself to. His dad said so himself.

Man up.

“What for?” The boy’s tone was casual and closer.

Gon reckoned he had walked towards him. Probably. He missed the scene, though, for he had to force composure onto himself before deciding to turn back around. He should appear presentable, at least, and offer an amicable greeting. That was the first time they would be introduced. That was the first time someone from school had approached him.

The first time someone initiated a conversation with him in that sad town.

Is he even worth this boy’s time?

“For bothering you, if I did,” Gon answered, gaze darting repeatedly from the floor to his face, bashfully, apologetically. He didn’t mean to disturb his silence. He didn’t mean to be a nuisance. He thought of retreating down the stairs to go home. Forcibly, he tugged the corners of his lips for a blank smile, a smile that disappeared in a millisecond. “Sorry, I—”

“I’ve been seeing you here a lot,” the boy interjected, shrugging, ushering. “Always crying, looking like you’re gonna jump. Just now, you almost did.”

Embarrassing.

“Why?”

Gon hesitated, ashamed. He didn’t even know what it was that he was doing. He didn’t even think of what he was going to do before he attempted to do it. All he knew was that he wanted to fly away—far, far away from that place. “I thought that it was worth it… to let myself just disappear.”

A pause.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His eyes finally rested on his, reading it, searching for signs of pretense. It must be the way he blinked, or the way his pupils moved as the seconds ticked longer, because he couldn’t find any; he couldn’t determine if he was kidding. Since when did he start to question other people’s intentions?

Don’t trust anybody.

But he wanted to. He couldn’t understand why, but the stillness in the air offered warmth he somehow knew could only be possible with this boy’s company. He didn’t want it to end. He didn’t want him to go.

Should he?

Gon breathed in, bracing himself to speak before thinking of what he was going to say. Should he? “Why are you—” No. He stopped himself, scared of a negative reception that could feasibly be caused by his careless mind. He had to do it right the first time. It was a chance of a lifetime. “Sorry—”

“Stooop it,” the boy grumbled sternly, holding up a palm to Gon’s face before tucking it in his pocket. “Stop apologizing. You didn’t even do anything wrong.” He held on to the gaze for a few seconds—four, five, six—stepped backwards and propped himself on a nearby pipe chase—seven, eight—until his features softened and he let out a smile.

A smile.

Gon had to look around to check if there was anyone near, anyone that could possibly be the recipient of that smile. He had to blink a few times before he could assent to the moment.

When was the last time someone made him feel like he was deserving of such greeting? Could his dad’s sardonic smirks count? No, he never felt like smiling back at those. For one thing, he felt like pointing a loaded gun to his head, bullets in another, an endless barrage. But this boy’s smile felt different. It made him think of the clear blue sky and dancing Hummingbirds, of full-bloomed irises and white roses in a summer garden. These, he thought and realized, these made him want to smile in return. So, he did, and it was easily followed by laughter, warm, joyous and sanguine.

When was the last time he laughed like this?

Is this okay?

“There,” the boy said in between his own sweet cackles, harmonizing with Gon’s in perfect tune. “That’s better.”

They kept it in sync for a while, filling the air with music, and suddenly, it was bright and void of gloom. It felt like magic, and Gon was enjoying the thrill as an audience. For once, he didn’t have to rethink about his position. For once, he didn’t have to follow the noises in his head. For once, he wanted to continue existing and be someone’s friend.

His heart pleaded despite his newfound paradise.

Please.

“I have a feeling that you feel alone,” the boy began as he relaxed in his seat.

Yes. So, please be…

“And trust me, jumping off the rooftop is not a good solution.”

Please let me be your…

“Believe me, I’ve tried, and I’ve never felt so alone ever since.”

Let me be your friend.

“So, if you’re feeling alone, just come up here. Or call my name, and I’ll come to you. I’m Killua.”

Gon’s eyes glittered at this discovery. “Killua,” he repeated as it multiplied inside his head. He would remember it every waking day and keep it in his heart forever. He would incessantly hold on to it if he couldn’t hold on to anything anymore. “I’m Gon.”

“Gon,” Killua echoed, along with an easy smile that made the wind waltz smoothly in the spaces between them. “Don’t disappear.”

#hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter fanfiction #hunter x hunter fanfic #hxh fanfic #killua zoldyck #gon freecss #tw: suicide attempt #tw: mention of gun #tw: mention of bullets #reeya 300 followers event #attack-on-bocchan #ty for sending in a request i had fun writing this and also it broke me ily #i unleashed the angst beast in me when i wrote this as requested uwu #<3 #killua x gon #killugon