#just the layers of identity get to me ok

[frownyalfred]

It must be an insane mindfuck to know that Batman and Superman, the couple everyone in the JL thought consisted of “intelligent scary guy” and “rainbows and puppies guy” actually moonlight as “bimbo billionaire with no brain cells” and “highly competent but socially awkward investigative reporter” and all of those masks are true enough, but they don’t even come close to scratching the surface of who they are. One layer down from that gets you “Bruce Wayne, Father” and “Kal-El, last son of Krypton” but again, not quite close enough.

#just the layers of identity get to me ok #bruce wayne #batman #dc #superman #clark kent #superbat #clearing out my drafts #thoughts #justice league #jl

[applejongho]

I need advice: I do not know what to do with my hair

#so fun fact about me is that I used to have a fear of haircuts (genuinely) like I would shake in the chair and these past few years ive been #trying to get over it #it has been ok! my hair was like halfway down my back before any haircuts were done and I would cut it little by little testing my fear #and it was going really well. I felt confident #but I wanted to try something different and go shorter than I ever have gone before: above my shoulders #and when that happened it ruined me! I cried for days and I feel like I lost my beauty bc I had connected a lot of my beauty to my hair #my family saying that my hair is so beautiful and dont ever cut it blah blah blah #which was now rly affecting me bc ow now my hair is above my shoulders and it's alley fault and I feel so ugly #all my fault** #it has grown out a bit and I got layers despite a lot of anxiety bc I have curly hair and #I like the layers and I like the short hair #but sometimes society's expectations and my family's gender norms smack my ass and im back at square one of 'I want long hair to feel pretty #bc with long hair I feel like I adhere to society better even if it doesnt make me happy(I feel like short hair is more Me) #and with short hair I feel more me but then I feel out of place and ugly #and ik this is all just identity issues but what should I do for this next haircut? my hair is just past my shoulders. do I just get a trim #or do I get it cut a little more so it's just above my shoulders? #which would make me happy bc That's Me but also not happy bc Society #sorry y'all had to learn about me today but I would appreciate any kind of perspective #apple lady words

[kachowder]

ok so i've just been reading a lot of stories on redit and by some freaking coincidence they all involve cheating.

to take my anger out i imagined a scenario:

You who just found out that your S/O cheated on you with a mutual friend are so angry you go to the first party you find because

1.free drinks

2.with loud music you can't think

then Loren sees you from afar and he's so happy because it's so unusual for you to show up in these kinds of places he walks over and starts a conversation you barely hear because all you think about is how identical he is to a dog happy with his owner and you remember the day you met he said he would do anything for you.

"anything?"

"what"

"you said you'd do anything for me, did you really mean anything?"

Loren, with absolutely no hesitation: "yes"

I don't know going forward, my brain cycles between him murdering your ex or fucking in the bathroom of the party

Tw: NSFW themes. Kinda angst, mild exhibitionism.

His hands were shaking. Grasping at every exposed bit of skin he could, squeezing and massaging. His breath was heavy, labored and hot. It fanned the back of your neck as your body jolted with each thrust.

The toilet seat thudded dully under the massive jocks weight. His arms circled around you, hugging himself to your chest while he struggled to form any coherent sentences. Merely mumbles of adoration. Praise. Your name.

He sung your name like a prayer. He begged and begged and begged. You weren’t sure what for. He didn’t explain. You didn’t know if he could.

He whined deeply and gruffly, hips seemingly having a mind of their own as they smashed and squished against a your thighs.

In and out. In and out.

His lips were hot. Unbearably almost in combination of your sweaty skin, as he trailed hot and heavy kisses up your shoulders and neck. Sucking and biting and marking.

You let him, only to get back at the person who got you into this position. You felt a bit bad playing with the wonder boys feelings. What with the way he seemed to cry your name while bucking his hips into you so fervently.

When he finally started singing his I love you’s he made quick work to force your lips together and swallow any rejections on your tongue.

“Loren-“

“No no shh please, please let me have this. Let me have you just once. Just right now please.”

Your heart hurt hearing him, though with your foggy mind and recked insides you couldn’t pay much mind to the feeling. Only squishing his face to your chest and pressing deeper into his old.

Loren breathed sweetly at that, continuing his previous brutal thrusts, that only seemed to have groan more desperate, if that were even possible.

The more you felt his hands sweetly cupping and holding your own, tracing each bit of skin as he pumped himself into you, the more you felt your previous reasoning for doing this fade a way.

Why hadn’t you been dating Loren again? He had made his feelings more than abundantly clear before you were dating the jackass you were with now.

And loren was so…devoted to you. It was almost scary. He acted like he couldn’t breath without you. That this, what you were doing right now, was something he had fantasized over..craved for years.

Oh god if only you knew.

You blinked dazedly, sharply arching your back when a particular thrust hit your sweet spot, and Loren’s entire pattern switched.

His hips angled ravenously into your thighs, thrusting deeply and even at times stoping just to grind into you. You shuddered as he layered more wet passionate kisses against your skin, forming a small heart into your chest. You thought you peaked at initials too, but when you felt yourself being lifted and cradled fully into his sweaty chest, you didn’t bother to check again.

Your back met with the deliciously cold shower wall, and you marveled at the strength of the jock before you, who held you up by your thighs and continued thrusting.

“Y/n y/n y/n y/n”

It was a breathless whisper but it made your stomach flutter and your body clench, drawing out a low whimper and moan from loren, who slotted himself into the crook of your neck. Your arms circled around his head, holding him close and relishing in the feeling of your bodies sliding and pressing and grinding against each other.

“I love you…I love you..”

At this point you don’t think he was even saying it to you. It sounded more like a fact, something he was merely stating to the air in his own haze, as he hugged you so dearly. The weight of him inside you was intoxicating. Loren was nothing to sneeze at by any means.

“I-“

Loren didn’t let you reply. Not with the way he quickly fell to his knees in the shower, twisting you around and forcing you onto your own, bringing you back into a dip as he laid himself over you, lifting one of you legs to make sure he never once separated from you.

His thrusts were wild. So fucking desperate. Like he couldn’t control himself at feel of your body so sweetly warming and squeezing his cock.

Your eyes rolled back at the angle, and you barely had time to balk at the sight of his letterman underneath you, protecting you from the cold tile of the shower.

“Loren-“

Fuck would he not let you get one word out. He seemed hell bent on keeping you from talking, despite how typically he clung to your every word.

His thrusts grew erratic, chasing something you couldn’t see but prioritizing your experience over it all. He breathing was heavy, gasping, and at one point he dropped your leg gently and hovered over you, his shadow shielding you from any wondering eyes.

You weren’t sure why until the door unlocked and a drunk couple tried to wander their way in. Your eyes widened soberly, before they rolled back again when Loren kept thrusting, his hand covering your mouth gently, keeping your sounds to himself while he glared literal daggers at the couple who stared stalk still.

“Get out.”

It was a growl and tone you had never heard from the jock himself. Only whispers from people who had been there to witness it.

Fucking hell it was so hot. You gripped his forearm tightly, body convulsing when you came, though Lorne didn’t cease his pace, only cooing gently in your ear when the couple finally left and locked the door.

“Baby…fuck baby…thank you..thank you…you feel so good y/n..just one more please? Please I’ll do anything I’ll- nnnng…!”

Your body became play dough very quickly, only held up by the Loren’s strong arms that man handled you so gently, you didn’t think you could just call this sex anymore.

It was far too passionate to be just sex.

What with the way he so gently repositioned you on your back, hugging you deeply into his curving chest, his back hunched as he kept your legs locked firm around his waist, and as he continued to beg and cry and moan for you. Only for you.

Your finish was fast approaching and you finally regained the strength to hold onto the tall male, who groaned deeply and who’s hips shuttered when your nails dug into his skin.

“Loren…-“

“Y/n please…please…just let me have this..”

You paused, blinking blearily.

Then you sighed, gently. There was no disappointment in your tone, when you gently kissed the side of his neck and leaned back to stare the distraught captain in the eyes. You marveled at the flush of his cheeks, and the sheer desperation in his his shiny eyes. You brought your hands gently around his jaw and smiled.

“Okay..”

Your lips gently pressing into his own seemed to be the final straw for Loren, who’s hips grew violently and hard before he came thunderously, moaning deeply with your own high riding alongside his.

Your breath shortened and choked at the weight and heat in your belly.

He didn’t pull out when he finished. Only shuttering and shifting slightly, relishing in your warmth.

You peaked, out of breath, at his expression, and had you not been on the brink of sleep, you would’ve felt concern at the wide of his eyes, and the untamed smile that split his cheeks.

“I love you…so much y/n..”

“I know..”

“No…you don’t.”

#yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #loren oc #yandere jock #this been in the drafts for a while

[liquidstar]

wait speaking of getting isekia'd via truck, a couple weeks back me and a friend on were talking abt portal fantasy/isekai tropes (mostly bc i was infodumping abt rz again), and it made me think abt a fun concept for an ocverse. tho its possible similar things have been done obvs with just how inflated the genre is, just hear me out OK

story starts in the normal world, with a typical Nerdy Guy going about his daily life, expositing about how he feels bored and longs for adventure and magic, just like in all of his favorite media. as he's crossing the street, distracted by his mobile game, he doesn't notice The Truck(tm) coming straight towards him. except he's not hit by it- he's pushed out of the way in the last second, saved by a passing girl who gets hit in his place. this is who the story is about now.

mc gets sent to that sort of intermediary dimension that some isekai have, where she meets the Goddess Lady or whatever that was in charge of the whole isekai situation. goddess lady proceeds to freak out, because she nabbed the wrong person, and she's going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE. she starts questioning the mc, only to find out that this kid has a good social life, does well in school, is in sports, and has barely ever played a video game. basically the opposite of the socially introverted, underachieving, repressed, genre-aware guy she was supposed to have reincarnated. for the sake of fulfilling somekinda hero prophesy or whatever. and the mc kinda bargains to be sent to the fantasy world anyway bc, well, its that or death i guess. so the two of them kinda have to team up to course-correct this mix-up.

mc is kinda given a list of tasks to do that basically mirror how a typical story like this Would Go, expected to fall in line with the tropes in order to achieve the ultimate goal, but kinda ends up failing at all of them... or not? failing backwards, maybe. doing it in a way different from how its meant to go- using the wrong formula, but somehow getting the right solution. while sort of continuing to question the insanity of the whole situation, and the nature of this whole fantasy world. just fucking up all the tropes.

but a layer i'd wanna add on top of all that is the fact that the hero prophesy (or whatever) called for a man. so upon arriving to this new world, the mc is basically put into a "gender swapped" body and... doesnt seem to mind. this isnt an uncommon isekai trope either, but i hardly see it tackled with much care to really explore whole Gender Thing beyond gags about the "mismatch" (which can be in poor taste) or the conclusion that "well because their Body is now this gender, their gender identity changes to match" which i feel is a pretty shallow and binary take-away to draw abt bodies and identity.

but i think there can be more to explore w the prospect if you actually wanna get into gender stuff. in this case, i'd particularly wanna get into the idea of imposter syndrome. the main character was not MEANT to be... the main character. seen as a phony fighting tooth and nail to meet expectations, and constantly fumbling. not a real hero, or a real man. but its meant to be an act anyway, so why does that bother her? it was like that back on earth too, trying as hard as possible to be the perfect girl. a good social life, does well in school, is in sports.... but that good girl thing always felt fake too. or desperate. what was she trying to prove? how long as this BEEN bothering her, actually? why does it feel easier to breathe in this body, despite everything? the way this whole act makes her happy is scary, because its fake isn't it? but wait, which part was fake? the before or after? is it all fake? isn't this all just a mistake?

was it really a mistake? who is more heroic; a guy too focused on a mobile game to pay attention to those around him, or the person who risked their life to save a stranger? but the hero prophesy was for a "man," right? what does that even mean?

#the end is all questions bc if i ever did anything w this i would want to explore them basically #i dont know if i ever WILL its mostly just a concept im throwing out there for rn. brainstorming #but i think it could be fun #the only other isekai/portal fantasy type ocverse i have is the one w the dream traveling ocs. i wanna get back to them also #so many small oc projects that ive posted abt very briefly but i have not forgotten abt any of them i still think abt it #same w this even if i never really elaborate more on it im sure the idea will stay in my head #its obviously very much in its first draft baby phase rn a lot of ironing out the creases to do if i did wanna follow up in some way #like again its basically just a concept i dont have concrete characters or worldbuilding or anything just ideas. thata all

[elizabethemerald]

Protective Instincts: Part 1

Based off my “Mistaken Identity AU” wherein Danny momentarily mistakes Bruce as his father and is eventually adopted into the family. Full serious of Protective instincts stories will be up on AO3 when they are all written. 

“Alright Danny! Courtesy of our new best friend Oracle, I have your brand new ID hot off the press.” Tucker called into the room as he entered. 

Danny and Sam were in their shared bedroom in Wayne Manor. Danny was finishing painting Sam’s nails with her customary black. His own were painted a dark purple. Now that they were all finally safe and reconnected it was time to get back to feeling like themselves again. It was well past time they had fun and colorful (or black in Sam’s case) nails. Tucker would get his turn as soon as Sam’s were dry. 

Of course there were more than enough rooms in Wayne Manor for them all to have separate rooms, but after a chaotic first night wherein every member of the trio had their own nightmares then panicked when they couldn’t find each other. Even Jazz, usually the most emotionally steady and mentally healthy member of their group didn’t sleep at all that first night as she kept checking on Danny, Sam and Tucker. 

So it was decided that the trio would share a bedroom. The bedrooms were definitely large enough for the three of them to sleep side by side by side, and considering they had all crammed themselves into Danny’s tiny twin at the Fenton’s household, they slept comfortably. Plus it made it easier for Jazz to anxiously check on them if they were all in the same bed. Alfred and the Waynes didn’t say anything about them rooming together, though the trio did get a few raised eyebrows when they left their room together. 

“Daniel Edward Nightingale.” Tucker said as he handed over the ID with a flourish. 

“I can’t believe you picked Edward as your middle name.” Sam said with a sigh as she started to blow on her nails to get them to dry. 

“Well Jazz wanted her last name to be Nightingale, you two wanted to share a last name.” Tucker said as he sat down and started looking through the nail polishes that Cassandra and Stephanie had loaned them. Sam’s collection was still in Amity Park. “There are so many puns I can come up with, with those letters.” 

Left unsaid was that any middle name that started with an A was completely off the table. Danny didn’t need anymore reminders of Dan. Danny looked over his new paperwork as he spoke. 

“Yeah and we’ve already established I’m terrible at naming things. That’s apparently something I inherited from Jazz.” 

None of them mentioned Jack and Maddie’s terrible names they gave things. There were a lot of things that were being left unsaid between the three of them. 

“Actually, speaking of my sister, have either of you seen her?” Danny asked, standing and stretching. 

“Yeah, I handed her ID to her first. She immediately grabbed her purse and left the Manor. Apparently she’s desperate to start the job search so she’s not indebted to Bruce.” 

“Did she leave alone?” Danny asked, his voice rising and he knew his eyes were flashing green. 

“No, don’t worry. Jason was standing around in the kitchen and he got voluntold to be her escort. He’s got his guns, and Jazz has her creep stick. They’ll be safe.” 

“Oh well, that’s good.” 

“You don’t sound thrilled. I know you’re worried about her, but she’ll be ok.” Sam said as she started layering a neon blue polish onto Tucker’s nails. 

“Yeah, I trust her.” Even if his voice was a little hesitant. “It’s just now that we have real IDs and everything, I was hoping she would help me get my prescription set up, it’s been like a month since I had my last T shot.” 

Tucker whipped out his PDA and started typing one handed while Sam glared at him to stop moving so much lest she mess up his nails. 

“I’ve got the closest respectable pharmacy, and I’ve already sent in your prescription. I’ve even rearranged their queue and marked your order as a priority fill. It should be ready to pick up in a few minutes.” 

Danny gave him a wide smile, then looked nervous again. 

“Uh, I was also hoping Jazz could help me administer the shot. Maybe one of you could…?”

He trailed off as both of them looked uncomfortable. Sam capped the polish she was working with and put her hand on Danny’s arm. 

“Danny, we love you. But I don’t think either of us are going to be able to stick you with a needle any time soon.” She said. Tucker gave him an anxious smile and a small nod. 

“Oh. Well I guess I could do it myself. No problem right!” Even in his own ears the words sounded like false bravado. 

“Hey, maybe one of the Waynes would be able to help you out?” 

“What can the Waynes help you with? 

Before Danny could reply a voice from the hallway made him whip around. Tucker had left the door open in his excitement and standing there, not entering their space but still leaning casually on the doorframe was Dick Grayson. 

“Sorry to butt in. And for eavesdropping but I couldn’t help but overhear.” Dick said with a small smile, trying to put them at ease. 

Danny consciously forced himself to relax. When he had been startled he had whirled so he was in front of Sam and Tucker his fists raised and his gleaming with a green light. He let out a slow breath and relaxed his clenched and ready muscles. Dick wasn’t a threat. Sam and Tucker were safe. He was safe. He breathed slowly in then out again before he shot a smile back at Dick. He already told the Waynes his biggest secret, what was one more secret? Better to know now if there was going to be a problem before they all got comfortable. 

“I was hoping for some help administering my T shot.” He was still tense, but when Dick’s face only changed to a wider smile he relaxed more. 

“Oh, I can help you. I’ve helped Wally with his plenty of times. There’s just something about having to stick yourself with a needle that is so much worse. May I come in? Or would you prefer to do it in one of the restrooms?”

Danny relaxed further, almost back to how he was when it was just him, Sam and Tucker in the room. He glanced at them and they both gave him a nod so he nodded ot Dick. 

“I don’t have the prescription yet. I was just going to go pick it up.” 

Dick entered and glanced curiously around, but quickly refocused. Danny was sure the room was a little messy, with two teenaged boys living there, and all three of them still living out of their suitcases in case they had to leave quickly. However Danny didn’t feel like Dick was judging them at all. 

“If you’d like I can swipe the keys to one of Bruce’s cars and drive you to the pharmacy. There’s no worries there.”

Danny hesitated again for just a moment before he nodded. He had been planning on going ghost and flying to the pharmacy then just taking the package with his name on it and disappearing, but maybe it would be better to do this as a human. 

“Bye, Danny. Love you!”

“We’ll be here when you get back. Be safe out there. Love you!” 

“I love you both too.” 

Dick gave him another small smile at their farewells but didn’t say anything. Tucker and Sam had been doing that a lot more recently. He didn’t mind, his core always purred and hummed when they did and he certainly loved them, but he wasn’t sure why or where that had come from. 

While he was caught up in his thoughts on his friends Dick had grabbed a set of keys and escorted him into the very full garage. Despite the number of luxury and sports cars that filled the space, Dick led him to one of the more normal looking cars. Still fancy, and still nice, but common enough that it wouldn’t be obvious that a Wayne was on the roads. Dick waited until they had pulled out the front gate and were on the road before he spoke again. 

“You don’t have to worry about anyone in the family giving you a hard time.” He said, with his voice soft, comforting. “Half the family is queer and we all have friends or associates who are part of the community.”

“Thanks. That’s good to know.” Danny said. His parents… no. Jack and Maddie had been accepting of his gender identity, but had hated his ghost half. He had been afraid that the Waynes might have been the opposite, ok with his ghost half and bigoted against his gender identity. Though maybe he needn’t have worried, Dick after all, had the most Bisexual energy Danny had ever seen outside of a mirror. 

The trip to the pharmacy was quick and efficient. With Dick standing guard and fully willing to stare down or call out anyone who even looked at him funny when he asked the pharmacist for his prescription, Danny was able to get in and out without a problem. Honestly with Dick towering over him at 6 foot, Danny felt as safe as he did when his sister was with him. Though she was even taller at 6’3”. They were pretty sure she was going to end up even taller with the ectoplasm running through her veins. 

Once they were back in the Mansion and Danny could relax a little more (he still didn’t relax fully in the mansion, unless he had Tucker, Sam and Jazz around him. That was the only time he felt fully safe) Dick escorted Danny to one of the restrooms on the ground floor. 

“You needed help with the injection, is that correct?” Dick asked. 

“Yeah, usually Jazz helps me out.” Danny gave a half laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s weird I’m totally fine with stitching myself up, and giving myself injections of Ecto-dejecto, but I can’t handle the much smaller needle of a T shot.” 

For a moment Danny could feel rage radiating off of Dick even though the older man kept his face mostly calm. Though that should have been its own hint at Dick’s emotions. He was almost never serious, always ready with a joke  or a pun. 

“It’s ok, Danny. We’re here to help. You don’t have to do everything yourself anymore.” 

Danny wasn’t 100% certain that Dick was talking about the testosterone injection at all anymore, but he just nodded and let Dick help him with the injection. He had to look away from the needle and couldn’t help a small flinch as the needle reminded him of all the needles his parents had stuck him with while he was in their care. They wanted to test how ghosts reacted to different chemicals. He had experienced everything from human blood (Jack’s donation) to bleach flowing through his veins. 

He didn’t realize he had tensed until he felt strong arms wrap gently around his body. Danny untensed his muscles with difficulty and took a breath, the silent reminder that at least part of him was still alive, even if he didn’t need to breathe anymore. As he repeated the breathing exercises Jazz had taught him, he slowly became aware that Dick was slowly and softly repeating calming phrases to him as he hugged him. 

“It’s ok, little ghost. It’s Danny. You’re not alone anymore. You’re safe. Your family is safe. You’re part of our family now. We’re going to keep you safe. You’re ok, Danny.” 

More tension bled from his shoulders as he sighed into Dick’s arms. Maybe this is what a family was supposed to feel like.

Final Author Note: I have a couple of these planned, I’ll post them all on tumblr seperately, then on AO3 all together once they are all finished. My Momma Selina story will be updated next. Then I have an idea for Papa Red Hood story that I’ll do next. Also! I have a zine coming out at the end of the week, keep an eye out for it!

#Danny Phantom #dp x dc #dick grayson #trans danny fenton #Tucker Foley #sam manson #the trio is a couple #they just haven't realised it yet #danny fenton #Writing Emerald #mistaken identity #Please reblog!

[bloodynereid]

Reapers & Ravens

<< prev | chapter iv | next >>

pairings: jordan li x oc

tw: swearing, mentions of migraines, mentions of experimental pills, canon typical violence, weed, bad parents, mentions of death, rufus...

description: the story of a girl. a girl cursed by compound v to live a life without touch.

a/n: so... hi sorry this took so long to write and post. it's also a little shorter than the rest cause honestly when i was rewatching this ep it was sort of more focused on certain character dynamics and world building (which i tried to emulate). vic is going through it and... i added some little allusions to her past in this chapter. hopefully u all enjoy and... my ask box is always open so lmk ur thoughts + if you want to be added to the taglist <3

Walking through the stretch of patrons and trustees I finally spotted my dad standing off to the side, talking to a girl who was quite literally my age. Fucking hell, goosebumps appeared on my arms and a disgusted sneer overtook my face. That seems to be my predominant facial expression anytime I’m around my dad - the real version of him. 

Bundling up the layers that made up my skirt I ducked and nudged my way towards him, uttering a variety of sorrys to anyone I had bumped into. I was in a hurry after everyone had dispersed to get changed and make excuses to respective parents. We had to find Emma - as quickly as we possibly could.

“Dad! Look I don’t have time to explain but I have to go.” A scowl twisted his face and he reached for my gloved hand as I turned to go.

“The night is young plus you’re being rude to uh-”

“Lily.” The girl said with a flutter of her eyelashes, I felt sick to my fucking stomach.

“No dad, I really need to leave. I have to help my friends.”

“And suddenly you have friends.”

“Fuck off dad like you care. I came and I played the part of the perfect daughter, I don’t need to get your permission to leave.”

“I’m just trying to get you to stay in the top 10-”

“That is literally all you care about! You know what I’m going to go, I don't want to cause anymore of a scene.” I rolled my eyes and turned back to the sea of people with a sigh. I walked, or rather stormed my way to the reception doors but stopped short when I remembered… Gemma. Shit she should know that Emma was missing. 

My eyes turned towards the crowd once again and thankfully I found her sitting in between 2 identical girls who were wearing the same outfit. Oh that must be Mia. She was absolutely drop dead gorgeous, her curly brown hair was tied back in a slicked ponytail and she was wearing a blazer and a short skirt - showing off her toned muscles from football.

“Hii I see you found some company.” I said with a smile on my face and looked at the trio. Gemma was blushing like mad and the brunettes had flirty smiles on their faces.

“Oh shit uh hey Vic. This is Mia. Mia meet my roommate Vic.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you.” Mia’s silky voice came from one of the girls, it filled the atmosphere like honey, obviously I had heard some rumors about her before but holy shit.

“You as well. I love your outfit. If it’s ok can I pull Gemma away for a bit?”

“Oh yeah of course ,I’m going to go try to find some booze. Actually if I don’t see you here’s my number.” I watched as Mia’s duplicate took a pen out from one of the random pockets on her blazer and scribbled down a series of numbers on a napkin before signing it with a kiss. 

“Don’t miss me too much darling, we were just getting started. Plus I already have my date for tonight.” Mia added as she slipped into the crowd with a wink. Her duplicate followed closely behind her with an arm thrown around her shoulders. I turn to look at Gemma with raised eyebrows as she tries to giggle quietly.

“So…”

“Nope, we are not talking about this now. Tell me what happened.”

“Emma is missing.”

“What?” She exclaimed loudly and jumped up from her chair, making it wobble dangerously close to falling.

“Look, you remember I told you about my little adventure with Andre. Well, he did something stupid again. He sent Emma down there.”

“Shit. Okay what do we do?”

“First we need to get changed and then we’re meeting the group at Andre’s car. We’re going to try and locate her with the GPS.”

“Fuck okay, okay, let’s do this.” We nod at each other in agreement and then leave the memorial ball, quickly getting up to our dorm and changing into more casual clothes. There is no way that I was going to wear this dress to go to a search party.

“I found the tracker!” Marie says from one of the sandier parts of the field, we had spent over 30 minutes combing each and every corner of this damn field with our phone lights. The night was also growing colder and colder by the minute, maybe wearing a thin cardigan was not the best move. 

“Maybe this is good… I mean she got out of the hellhole.”

“Andre? We are literally standing in a meteor sized hole. How do we know she’s even alive?” I asked with a clearly frustrated tone lacing my words.

“Woah let’s not immediately assume she’s dead okay?” Gemma loudly declared as she stood next to Cate right outside the hole.

“Yeah exactly! Maybe Sam can jump like Maeve does? He landed here with Emma and then jumped again?”

“What were you thinking?”

“I had to do something.” Andre stuttered out while Marie looked at him with probably one of the most intensely angry looks I had ever seen.

“You didn’t do anything! You just dragged Emma into this fucking mess.”

“Woah okay how about we just calm down for a second?” I said, trying to mediate the clearly escalating situation but before I could take a step closer to the pair, our phones all went off at the same time. Jordan took out their phone first and scrolled through the message.

“They released the new rankings.” They said, causing me to pull up the same message on my phone. Oh shit.

“Andre is obviously still first, Marie second, I’m still five and Vic, you’re sixth.”

“Eh figures the dean hates me for whatever reason.” I said as I quickly locked my phone and slipped it back into my pocket.

“What?” The entire group looked at me with confused looks on their faces.

“How should I know? She was the one who interviewed me and I don’t know! She had this weird vibe to her the whole time.”

“Okay pending our talk about whatever the hell that is about, we really have bigger fucking problems than rankings.”

“Yeah says you, Mr. Number one. But I agree we do. Turns out the school has a whole fucking underground angel of death clinic! We don’t know who’s in on it. It could be the entire staff. And what are you going to do? Run around solving this like Nancy fucking Drew? You guys are going to end up like the fucking cricket.” Jordan says exasperatedly, walking closer and closer to Andre.

“Emma. Her name is Emma. And she is in so much shit right now because of your fucking friend.” Gemma answers as she too walks down into the crater.

“Woah okay Gemma chill. I don’t think they meant anything by it.”

“Jordan’s right.” Cate exclaims as she follows Gemma down.

“Thank you.”

“Look whoever Emma is, she isn’t fucking here.”

“Hey Cate! Come on.”

“No you come on. This girl could be fucking dead Andre. I told you not to do anything stupid. We are in over our heads.” Cate says as she starts to follow Jordan back to the place we parked the cars.

“Fuck.” Gemma exclaims as I grab her hand with my gloved one, smiling slightly at her. I rub circles on her palm to calm her.

“Look we’re going to figure this out okay? I promise.”

“Yeah okay I really need to sleep.”

“Me too. Let’s head back okay?”

“Yeah.” I put an arm around her shoulders and started walking towards Cate and Jordan but not before taking a look back at Marie and Andre mouthing a quick ‘bye’.

I laid in bed listening to the music blaring through my headphones. The morning sunshine was streaming in through the windows and I hadn’t even gotten a wink of sleep. My brain likes to hate me on days like this. Insomnia only seemed to arrive at the time when either everything was going to hell or I was stressed. Today it was a combination of the two.

Insomnia was also one of the worst possible things for my particular power. It’s usual insistence to absorb life seemed to be dialed up to 3 thousand. It’s typical itchiness under my gloves had now grown into a horrible irritation that was steadily spreading over every single cell of my body.

Eyeing the plants on the window sill I finally made up my mind about the debate I had been having with myself for over ten minutes. Maybe absorbing just one of my spider plants couldn’t hurt right?

Just as I was pulling the fingers of my glove off my hand, I distantly heard Gemma running into my room. I pulled my headphones off and looked at my roommate who had the giddiest expression all over her face. 

“Uh yes?”

“Guess who’s on campus right now?”

“With the way you’re acting I would say Santa Claus.”

“What no? I mean close but no.”

“Well then who?” I asked as I pulled my glove fully back on again. The singing under my skin only getting worse and worse.

“Tek Knight.” The moment that the name left Gemma’s mouth I felt my face scrunch up in disgust. You learn a lot about people when you grow up around them and… Uncle Tek was a staple in our household after my dad met him at some random premiere.

“What? Why are you making that face?”

“Nothing. I didn’t know you liked the whole Tek Knight thing.”

“Oh right yeah I love those shows. I mean they’re pretty bad but that kind of makes them good you know?”

“Yup totally get that. I, shit, I need to get to class. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry! But come find me if you do see Tek Knight, I need to ask him stuff about some of the episodes.”

“Okay! See you in a bit.”

I adjust the straps of my canvas bag and start to scratch at my wrist. I had specifically chosen my least scratchiest gloves right before leaving the dorm but they didn’t seem to be doing me any favors. Fuck. I buried my head in my hands and tried to just fucking breath.

That only seemed to make the situation worse. Even with my eyes closed I could still practically hear everyone’s life flowing through their very veins. After everything that I had learnt about Vought and what they were doing in the school I really didn’t want to take another one of the pills.

The sounds of bustling students started to fall away as the itchiness grew and grew. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to go cold turkey on an experimental drug with one of the most volatile powers.

I suddenly came down to earth when a hand started shaking my shoulder, my entire body jumped and I grabbed hold of whoever’s hand was shaking me and twisted on instinct.

“Woah Vic. Vic! Calm the fuck down.” My eyes flew open and it felt like the fog had cleared up, looking down at me with a disturbed look over their face was Jordan. Jordan whose hand I currently had in a weird death grip.

“Fuck shit. Sorry.” I said as I let go of her hand and went back to scratching my wrist.

“No umm don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”

“Yeah fine. What’s up?”

“Fine? Dude you literally nearly pulled my arm off.”

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. I’m a little stressed, I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Me neither. It seems like this whole fucked up sit- Wait is that Rufus?” 

“What?”

“Why the fuck is Marie talking to Rufus?” I turned my head and leaned to the side so the tree wasn’t blocking my view and right there was Marie talking to some bleach blonde dude. 

“Rufus? As in the one you warned me about?”

“Yeah the very same.”

“Huh. Wait oh shit where are they going?” I asked as Rufus started to lead Marie with a hand on her forearm.

“No idea but we should probably follow them. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah I should be fine in a bit.”

“Ok maybe take a nap soon?”

“Only if you join me.” I said in a sing-song voice as we started to follow Marie and Rufus. I felt another headache starting to form behind my eyes but shook it off. Time to sort out priorities… like flirting with Jordan.

“Flirt.”

“Tease.” I wink at them and she just throws her head back and laughs before shifting and nudging my shoulder with theirs.

As we followed the pair I got more and more nervous, especially when they got to the dorm rooms. I exchanged worried glances with Jordan and continued to shadow them. I only broke out into a full on sprint when Rufus shut the door to a dorm behind him, pulling Marie inside.

“Shit! Rufus open the goddamn door!” I yelled as I started banging with my gloved fists.

“Rufus you creep you better open the fucking door.” Jordan screamed beside me, I moved out of the way as they hit the door harder and harder, until it finally gave way with a blast of her power. What I very much didn’t expect to see was Marie suddenly covered in a spray of blood and Rufus falling to the side, clutching his dick?

“Marie fuck. Are you okay?”

“Nice work. Now come on.” Jordan said in a calm tone as we hauled Marie up from the floor and they passed her a towel. I spared a glance back at Rufus and sent him the bird before we left the dorm room. 

“Are you okay?” I asked Marie, sending her a small smile. The added adrenaline was not helping the forming headache.

“That was fucking dope. How did you do that?” Jordan added.

“Uh I have no idea, I’ve never been able to do that before… should we call somebody?”

“Nah, that guy deserved it.” I said as I rubbed my fingertips on my temples.

“Are you okay?” Marie asked as she nervously clutched the towel in her hands.

“Oh yeah, fine. No need to worry about little old me.” They both looked at me with raised eyebrows and Jordan had a whole calculating look on their face that was frankly slightly freaking me out.

“Hmm sure.”

“Also Marie what the fuck were thinking going to him for help?”

“I can’t just do nothing.”

“Ok before this turns into another fight, no idea why the fuck you guys hate each other so much but I’m going to go. My head is literally killing me right now.” Jordan’s face relaxed from one of slowly building rage to something much softer.

“Vic? Do you want to go down to the health center or something?”

“Nah I’m going to go lie down for a bit.”

“I’ve got to go as well. Get this blood off of me.”

“You know, maybe a thank you would have been nice!” Jordan yelled out towards Marie’s already retreating back.

“For what exactly?”

“Wow next time we won’t go around rescuing again.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“Fucking did.”

“I exploded his dick.”

“God you guys are so fucking childish.” I said with a slight laugh in my voice and started to walk down the hall.

“Because we distracted him! Tagteam cocksplosion am I right Vic?” I chuckled and just let Jordan put her arm around my shoulders after they jogged up to my side. 

“Whatever you say darling.”

I had been able to sleep for a few hours before I was rudely awakened by a really loud phone call. The headache continued to persist and the itchiness was at an all time worst.

“Hello?” I spoke into the phone’s speaker, my voice was groggy and scratchy. I should take some Vought pills… no, nope not again. Not unless they are a necessity.

“Darling! How are you Victoria?” Spoke the overly cheery voice of my honorary uncle, his baritone seemed to rattle through my brain.

“Uncle Tek?”

“Yes darling. How would you like to have a feature on the show? Andre walked out and a little birdie told me that you had known Luke.”

“Only for a few hours…”

“Perfect that should be enough. Can you meet me at Auditorium 5 in 20?”

“Uh… sure?” 

“Wonderful. See you soon kiddo!” The phone line clicked off and I let out a loud groan into the empty room. Fuck me.

For ten torturous minutes I stood in front of my mirror trying to get myself into a slightly presentable state. My eyeliner kept getting messed up because of my shaky hands and everything else just seemed to be impossible to do. Finally I was able to just slick my hair back and throw on some lipstick before walking gingerly out of the door and towards the Performing Arts school.

“Kiddo! Wow you look so old now.”

“That’s what happens when time passes, Uncle Tek. How have you been?” I asked as the taller man engulfed me in a quick hug. I suppressed the flinch that the action had caused. The pain was getting worse.

“Good, good. I really did miss you Victoria. I’m sorry I’ve gotten so busy.”

“Oh that’s okay I’ve been insanely busy as well. What exactly did you need me to do?”

“Just answer some questions, we just need some extra background on Luke.”

“Uh okay.”

“Wonderful, have a seat and we can get started. Three free thugs set three thugs free. Three free thus set three thugs free.” 

I flinched slightly as I sat down on the cushioned chair and started to run my gloved hands over the seams. You can do this.

“So here we are joined by Victoria Oaks, daughter to the actor Adrian Oaks - better known as Frostbite. How well did you know Golden Boy, Victoria?”

“Oh not well, I mean I’ve known Andre for a while but I only really met Luke a few days before the official first day of school.”

“And what did you think of him? Did he seem deranged to you?” My body immediately tensed up and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“Luke was a perfectly normal and stable guy. He was also genuinely nice.”

“Have you heard of how many serial killers were also known as ‘nice’?”

“Yes of course but Luke wasn’t like-”

“You did say that you only really knew him for a few hours. How would you know his true nature? Also sorry for my poor choice of words, instead of serial killer I feel like the word murderer or monster might be more apt.” My jaw dropped in a shocked gasp, my brain wasn’t ready for this kind of barrage of information. I thought this would be a normal interview, especially because well I knew Tek. 

“Uncle Tek… what are you trying to get at here?”

“Just the truth Victoria. The whole truth.” Fuck this, no wonder Andre walked out on this interview. I had always been glad that I never got to be on the other end of Tek’s interrogation tactics, now I know why.

“Look, Uncle Tek. My head is killing me right now, would it be okay if we just postponed this?” I said, trying to be as nice as possible. Tek’s face fell, almost as if a switch had been flipped.

“Shit cut the cameras. Kid are you okay? Are you taking the pills?” I narrowed my eyes at him and shifted to the right.

“How do you know about the pills?”

“I do still talk to your dad, you know.”

“Right yeah. Uh, would it be okay if I just…”

“Of course, I’ll walk you back myself.”

“You really don’t have to do that, plus I need to make sure you take those pills. Your dad might actually kill me if I don’t take care of his daughter.” You mean his asset I thought.

I laid in bed after Tek had dropped me off with a promise that he would call me in a bit. He also insisted I take the pills. Looking down at the silver packaging I felt my spine shudder. Those little green pills could do wonders right now but what were they actually doing to my powers? 

Looking back on it I can’t even remember how I started taking these, there was never a reason as to why. They just appeared one day and dad made me promise that I would take them. I must have been 7 or 8 maybe. It was just after another one of the incidents… or was it?

I scrunched up my eyebrows in contemplation as I continued to stare at the green tablets. I had to be at a Superhero Branding class soon and it would be better to actually be vaguely coherent when I attended it. So…

“Fuck it.” I poked one of the little capsules out and popped it into my mouth before washing it down with a sip from my water bottle. I’ll go cold turkey tomorrow.

I twirled my pen between my fingers as I watched on to the clusterfuck that was Tek Knight interrogating someone. If I looked anything like Marie did in this moment I was probably a mess on camera. Ugh. At least the headache was gone and my power had quieted down into a soft hum under my skin. All it had taken was one tiny little fucking pill that I didn’t even want to take in the first place.

“Jordan’s the hero. Not me.” I shook out my stupor as I focused on Marie again. Holy shit she actually did it. I looked over to Jordan and they had a similar look of shock on her face. They must have realized I was looking over at them because she turned to lock eyes with me. I mouthed ‘holy shit’ and they responded by mouthing ‘I know’ back.

The whole class watched with bated breaths as Marie grabbed her bag and basically stormed out of the classroom. I looked over to Tek and rolled my eyes before grabbing my own bag and shoving my tablet and books into the small space.

“Hey! Jordan, wait up.” I exclaimed as I jogged up to the door where they were already pulling the handle.

“Yeah?”

“Want to hang out or something? I found some extra weed in my bag this morning and well… it kind of looks like you need it.”

“Are you just trying to stop me from following Marie?”

“What! That is a baseless accusation. Why would I ever…” I exclaimed in an overly dramatic voice but when I saw that Jordan wasn’t all that amused I changed my tactic, “Yeah I am. Marie just went through a Tek Knight interrogation™ so maybe just give her some space. I promise I will come with you when you want to talk to her.”

“Yeah I- I get that. Let’s get some of that weed you were talking about.”

“Where the fuck did you get this shit?”

“Hmm?” I asked as I shifted over on the bed so I was now facing Jordan, their face was totally blissed out. They looked ethereal. 

“This is really good weed.”

“Oh yeah… I grow it.”

“What?” Jordan turned to look at me this time and actually seemed sort of surprised that I had been staring at her so intensely.

“Yeah… I mean I love plants and I got bored one day. It’s all legal in LA, plus my dad is keeping it up for me.”

“You’re so fucking cool.”

“What are you talking about? You’re literally the definition of cool in my book. You’re funny, awesome and really fucking incredible.” I said, poking Jordan slightly in the shoulder with a playful smile on my face.

“Sureee. God I wish I could fucking kiss you right now.” My jaw dropped in the same instant that Jordan’s face went from calm to ‘OH SHIT’.

“Oh fuck wait forget I said that I’m high, yup I’m high-”

“Woah Jordan, chill. I also would love to kiss you right now.” I interrupted Jordan’s frankly very cute rambling by pressing my gloved fingers to their lips and smoothing over the skin on their cheek. A second later they shifted and he looked at me with the most beautiful smile.

“Really?”

“Yes really. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while actually.” I giggled slightly and continued to stroke my fingertips lightly over his features. Their hand came up and dragged my gloved hand to his mouth where they placed a delicate kiss over my fingertips, then my knuckles, then-

The door flew open with a bang and we jumped apart as if we had scalding water thrown over us. Standing in the doorway were Emma, Marie and Gemma - all with varying expressions of concern, awe and surprise on their faces.

“Uh we’re sorry to interrupt whatever this is but we need to go.” Gemma said with a desperate tone in her voice.

“Right yup okay. What’s going on exactly?” I asked as I jumped up from the bed and started to straighten out my gloves. “Wait- Emma?”

“No time to explain. Sam is planning to kill Dr. Cardosa. We need to go.”

“Shit, Dr. Cardosa. He used to work with Brink. I know where he lives.” Jordan said as they smirked slightly in my direction. I smiled back and stood there for a few seconds, as if entranced by their eyes.

“Great, let’s go then.” 

“Right yup.”

I jogged in behind Jordan and started to take off my gloves. This Dr. Cardosa’s house was actually pretty nice, the paintings were also tasteful huh? Who thought an evil doctor had good taste in art?

I heard the refrigerator hitting something hard before I saw it. Andre was standing with his arms outstretched towards who I assumed was Sam, who instantly threw it off and turned towards Andre with rage painted all over his features. But he stopped short when he caught my eyes. He narrowed them and tilted his head.

“I know you. How did you get out? ARE YOU WITH THEM NOW?”

“I-uh I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen you before in my life.” I stuttered out, this whole situation was just getting weirder and weirder. And how the fuck would he know me?

“I recognise your voice. I’m Sam, we used to-”

“Woah okay maybe we should just take a second to breathe.” Sam took his eyes away from mine and looked at Andre.

“You- you fucking caught me. You’re one of them!” 

“We didn’t know who you were then.” Marie exclaimed as she started to make calming gestures with her hands.

“Sam let us help you!”

“No Cate! You are never touching me again! Get the fuck out of here. You’re all fucking puppets.” That made me stop short, puppets? That seemed to rattle something in my brain that I couldn’t quite understand.

“Sam, you said I was your hero okay? Let me help you.”

“No, no. They’re not.”

“What the fuck is his problem?” I turned to look at Andre, that fucking idiot. 

“Andre…”

“What did you just say to me?” Sam grabbed Andre and proceeded to smash him into the hard floor, actually cracking it before throwing him into the fireplace. Holy shit. Marie then did her whole cool blood manipulation stuff which was quite honestly insane to see in action while I just stood there sort of frozen.

The pill’s effects had started to wear off and the migraine was coming back full force. The itchiness was building up quite steadily and without the gloves on my hands all I wanted to do was grab someone and take and take and take. 

I was thrown out of my stupor when I realized that everyone had somehow gotten outside while I was busy staring down at my naked hands. The short nails covered in remains of black nail polish seemed to glare at me. Begging to just scratch something. 

“Victoria, Victoria look at me.” I looked up to see that Dr. Cardosa was steadily moving towards me with his hands steadily up in the air.  “You need to take the pill.”

“What?”

“You need to take-”

I groggily opened my eyes to bright sunshine streaming onto my face. Fuck that was weird. I brought up my hand to wipe the sleep from my eyes when something hard seemed to hit my face instead.

I brought my hand up in front of me and realized it was covered in some sort of diamond shell… and my gloves were gone. Looking down I also realized I was very naked, lying in bed next to Jordan.

What the fucking fuck?

hope you enjoyeddd - i literally did research on vic's powers for like an hour to figure out that last scene. lmk what you think !!

taglist: @neapolitantoebeans @scorchedfangirl @losers-club6 @vvyuqi @bubblebuttwade @fix5idiots @ponypickle @nellyboosworld

#gen v #gen v fanfic #gen v amazon #gen v spoilers #andre anderson #jordan li #marie moreau #luke riordan #golden boy #the boys #the boys fanfic #the boys tv #oc fic #gen v tv #victoria oaks #maria writes #the boys series #the boys amazon #cate dunlap #emma meyer

[featherwingfae]

So the nonhuman theme of the day that I've been seeing on the Internet seems to be self doubt both due to internal and external influences.

My response to this theme is this. You are who you are. And no one can tell you who you are but you. (The rest of the post is pretty much just this^^ in way more detail than necessary. You have been warned lol. Buckle up this is gonna be a long one. Literally took all day to write 😅)

Most of us live in a society where we've been told since infancy who we are are and what we must be, and if we don't fit in the predesignated boxes then there must be something wrong with us and we just need to be forced into a box. But just think about the vastness of life for a second. From macro to micro there's just so much to everything it's breathtaking. Everything is layered. Why should one being's existence be any different. There is what is seen and then there is everything else. Some thing's don't need to be understood by others, because they are not there for others. They are simply there. Wether we understand them or not. And that in itself (I think) is quite lovely.

I am Fae. Not just because of ______. I am Fae because it is simply what I am. It's what feels right.

It's ok to just exist. It's ok to live without ever fitting into boxes or labels. And if you find a label or box that fits you, that's ok too. It's your existence. Do what makes you happy. I've also found that sometimes, finding that feeling that you fit somewhere, comes first and the reasons why come after. Be patient. I know it's maddening sometimes when you've got a million questions bumping about in your head, or even just one or two burning ones, but life is a journey. A mystery to uncover through experiences.

I could give you a whole laundry list of reasons why I can call myself Fae. But at the end of the day, the only reason I need is that it feels right. I don't need to act like the stereotypical Fae (from folklore, media etc), I don't need to have magical experiences, I don't need memories. Keep in mind that your nonhuman identity does not need to match anyone else's.

If you're a Fae who loves technology and finds the modern age fascinating. Guess what? There's nothing wrong with that. (I LOVE Minecraft 😁 Though that may or may not have to do with the fact that I get to fly around and build whatever I want from nothing. Yes I'm obsessed with creative mode 😅 I usually get bored in survival)

If you're a Therian who's never enjoyed being on all fours or who doesn't like gear. It doesn't make you any less Therian. Do what makes you happy 😊.

If you're some ancient entity and you use an ungodly (hehe) amount of emojis and/or abbreviations (ex. Lol, omg, etc) it doesn't make you any less ancient or awesome. Do what you enjoy. You are too old to not be having as much fun as you can experience. I'm also an ancient creature, you really think I want to spend my time not doing what makes the happy chemicals 😊✨👁️🪽😁.

If you're an Alien who's not obsessed with space stuff. That's ok. Human portrayals probably don't do it justice anyway, and there's so many other things to be interested in. Like have you seen mushrooms? Those funky little guys come in so many varieties it's absolutely delightful 😊🍄✨.

If you're a vampire who can't stand the sight of blood. Don't worry about it. I can almost guarantee you're not alone (plus there's a lot of different types of vampires. If you know you are/were definitely sanguine then you're still valid 😊).

If you're fictionkin and you're absolutely nothing like your fictionkin type/character. That's ok 😊. People often change with their experiences, it doesn't make you any less yourself.

That last one applies to most nonhumans identities in general honestly 😅.

If you're an angel that doesn't/didn't have big feathery wings. You are still an angel. The universe is filled with too much color and variety for me to believe that all ______ have the same or very similar designs. I've never heard of an angel with dragonfly or beetle wings. That doesn't mean they don't exist 🙃.

You can be a plant who loves salads, a placekin who hates going outside, an objectkin that doesn't use it/it's pronouns or is super expressive, a vampire who adores sunbathing or just sunlight in general, a carnivore that doesn't like meat, an avian that's afraid of flying or heights, a demon with a heart of gold, a deity with social anxiety and/or low self esteem, an herbivore that loves going hunting, a dragon who prefers minimalism, an aquatic creature who doesn't like water, a void that's constantly overthinking, you can match all the known stereotypes for your nonhuman identity or none at all. You can have phantom shifts constantly or never get any, you can have countless identities, you can have just one, you can remember your past life/lives in detail or remember nothing at all, you can believe in past lives and souls, or not, your identity can be psychological, physical, spiritual, etc.

It's s your identity. No one else's. Just because you choose to share yourself or your identity with someone else does not mean they own you or your identity. It is, was and always shall be, yours. (Btw please please please, be careful who you share your nonhuman identity with. Not everyone is going to "get it". And not everyone is going to accept it. Stay safe, mentally, physically, emotionally etc.)

They say names have power. They also say not all things are what they seem. Whatever your nonhuman identity looks like, only you can know what it truly is. Understand that I am not saying that the appearance of one's nonhuman identity should be dismissed altogether, especially when one is still questioning. I am saying, that we shouldn't rely solely upon appearances. If your nonhuman identity fits in the category of x as far as appearances go but x just doesn't feel like it fits, then chances are, you're not x, or there's more to it than just x. I've known I was Fae since right around 2019. However I doubted myself for a long time because as far as I knew Fae were "supposed to have insect wings" and on top of having big feathery wings, I have a lot of them. In fact many of my nonhuman features could be considered angelic. However I've never felt particularly comfortable identifying as an angel. It just never felt like the right fit. It took awhile but eventually after I'd already accepted that my "angelic features" didn't make me any less Fae. I remembered why I had those features to begin with, and it all just clicked into place.

It's ok to not have all the answers or even the correct answers right away. Life is experiences. From moment to moment you are who you are. Things may change, new truths may be revealed, that doesn't make you or your identity any less real. You are whoever you are right now. Wether that is someone/something from everything you have ever been or ever shall be or just one thing right now, unconnected to anything else. You are not fake for changing. You're not fake for not changing. Most have doubts about themselves about all sorts of things. To the point where it seems like doubt is just part of the human world experience (not saying it's only a human world experience, just that everyone here seems to doubt themselves about something or other) and perhaps working through our doubts is a lesson of this place, then again maybe not 🤷. In the end what you believe is up to you😊.

Now, I'm not expecting that this single post from a total stranger will erase all your doubts. Not at all. I didn't write it to erase doubt, but rather to give it a little bit of something to fight against. To plant just one more seed in the hearts and minds of others who might need it or whom it might help in any way. This post is far from the only one out there, fighting doubt in its many forms and faces. And what I've said has already been said in many times and ways. But it's my take and not everything will click with everyone. If this post helps even just one being, then it has served it's purpose. Each and every single one or plural of us is unique in our own ways. And I truly believe that's one of the most wonderful things about life as a whole.

If you've read this far, I apologize if I got a bit carried away and made this post longer than necessary but it means a great deal to me and things that matter to me are very difficult to "sum up" 😅. And if you follow me. I warn you now that most of my posts will probably be a bit lengthy if not extremely so.

And now my dear creatures, crawlers, beasts, beauties, hellions, heavenlies (no I don't care that that's not a word it is now lol), magicals, marvels, wonders, wanderers, wildlings, winged things, whimsies, and whatsits (and everything beyond and in between) I wish upon you a most wonderful day/night. May you always know/remember that your existence makes the world a more magical place. 🌍✨ (And in my opinion we could use all the magic we can get 😊)

👁️🪽✨🍄🍀🪻🌱🥀❄️🌟✨

Till next time.

#nonhuman #otherkin #vampirekin #deitykin #wingedkin #real vampire #winged kin #actually angelic #therian #placekin #object kin #divinekin #actually divine #fae kin #faerie kin #plantkin #fairy kin #faekin #alterhuman #alterhuman community #otherkin thoughts #otherkin community #darkkin #demonkin #voidkin #kin questioning #otherkin memories #kin memories #questioning kintype #psychological kin

[kindlespark]

this is gonna be SO long and rambly sorry anyway i saw a post abt how babel does queer characters and it got me thinking abt why the tropes it uses would usually turn me off other stories but didn’t here

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS //

i feel like i’d be more mad abt how robinramy ended up in babel if it marketed itself as queer lit at all or if its fans were going “WOW AMAZING QUEER REP” abt it. but no one told me any of that, so finding out they were gay was just a fun little bonus surprise to me. i get why ppl are eh abt robinramy not getting together/technically still being subtext (which i dont think is really true btw like the book literally says “robin was falling in love” but idk i guess if you were stupid you might’ve assumed that it was falling in love with oxford given how romantic some of the other language is (WHICH IS ALSO THE POINT bc i think robin’s friendship with ramy blurring into romance is why he romanticised like all his friendships/experiences in oxford BUT IM GETTING OFF-TOPIC)). i just think robin’s repression abt being gay was intrinsically tied to his attitudes on imperialism (wrt refusing to acknowledge anything that complicated his life until it was too late) and i don’t consider it a cop out or queerbait. like i genuinely don’t think robinramy could ever have gotten together without drastic alterations being made in terms of plot and character. plus i think it’s clear that kuang didn’t want to write a story with any kind of focus on romance at all, because it’s not that kind of book. there’s no successful het romance either, so it grates a lot less. the only reason romance is included at all is to show the ways in which white entitlement manifests. so the tragic way robinramy played out just made sense to me.

and i speak as someone who accidentally spoiled myself on You Know What in the middle of reading and i was like ugghh boooo dreading it the whole time expecting to roll my eyes when it happened but then when it did i was like. wow im actually not that mad LMFAO 😭😭😭 actually thematically the book sets it up so well that i believed that this was unfortunately the only way it could’ve gone. babel is about the loss and tragedy and grief that colonised people experience. it’s about the lengths people will go to to uphold empire and the lengths ppl will go to to tear it down like idk 😭 i guess it is bury your gays but it didnt bother me this time because i thought it fit thematically ❤️ i enjoy tragedy as a genre a lot and i would’ve made it gay anyway you know. thanks rf kuang for doing it for me so i didnt have to.

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY that i guess if you’re going into babel for the queer rep without appreciating that the story is fundamentally a tragedy it would feel like it’s just reusing tired tropes….. but i think the choices kuang made were rly deliberate and not in a way that feels like trauma porn or shock value. the book is fundamentally about the struggles of poc so the layer of queerness that was introduced felt like a subtle extension of the experiences of characters of colour in the book, and i enjoyed and related to it as a queer chinese person who kind of realised they had to prioritise their fight for the liberation of poc over queerness mainly because the idea of western queer liberation cannot be dissociated from imperialism and many aspects of homophobia as we know it was an export of christian european empire into our colonised countries in the first place and FUCK THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT ABOUT HOW I THINK RAMY AS A CHARACTER IS EMBLEMATIC OF THE TENSION AND STRUGGLE THAT QUEER POC DIASPORA HAVE BETWEEN OUR IDENTITIES GODDAMNIT OK FORGET IT POST CANCELLED i just rly think babel’s handling of queer characters is fine and makes sense and i like it personally and maybe i will make a coherent analysis about it one day but that day is not today byeeeeeee

#/ #// #sam speaks #byeeee ive been trying to type this post for over an hour but i give up #slashes are there bc i dont want it to show up in the main tag it’s rly incoherent and also subjective #babel #babel spoilers

[beannary]

Will we see tlp Donnie in his purple bandanna from the show? I know we have that one post Hamato but I could see that as his walking around the layer look and when he goes out the bandanna to match his sibling. ( convoluted rambling I apologize in advance) I could see some BS like Leo had a purple  phase and has a spar bandanna laying around. They have to go into the hidden city for something and BM is frantically searching for Donnie so to not get recognized they dress Donnie up like them and  guilt trip people into thinking there was four of them this hole time (Sorry for the ramble when I find new au I fixate on them)

Also before they met Donnie do they know there is another one of them like did splinter tell them and they’re just such idiots they couldn’t put it together. Or is splinter just going to walk in on them and the person that kidnapped and be like “ we need to talk” did splinter just assume Donnie was dead

Will Donnie not being there in they’re childhood affected the dynamic of the remaining three or will it be the same as the show?

Also last question i promise where is April.

Sorry again this was so long I love your au and can’t wait to see more!

omg dont apologize for this I absolutely adore rambles about my au!!!! other people sharing their thoughts and ideas makes me think about things that i normally wouldnt have thought about and also it makes me super happy that people are enjoying my story enough to be thinking about it

ok we will see tlp Donnie in a purple bandana at some point, but it won't be for a long time. The bandanas that Splinter gave his kids are you know like specifically for being ninjas, and are a sign of their growth and progress in their ninjitsu training. At this point in the story, Donnie isn't a ninja, and doesn't have any sort of training in fighting. Once he starts living with the Hamatos he will start doing some ninjitsu training and eventually Splinter will give him a purple bandana, but its not going to be something that he wears like everyday or all the time. Being a ninja isn't a core part of tlp Donnie's identity, so he will wear the bandana but only when he goes out on ninja missions or whatever with his siblings. I love that idea that they go into the hidden city and dress Donnie up like them since that would lead to so many goofy hijinks, but really I think that Donnie is mostly going to avoid going to the Hidden City for any reason, at least until he is has trained enough in ninjitsu to mostly go about unnoticed. I don't think he'd want to go to the Hidden City because 1. that's where his mom is and theres a chance she might try to steal him back, and 2. he grew up in the Hidden City and it isn't as cool and exciting as New York is. I think Donnie would much rather explore this new city that he's living in.

So Raph, Leo, and Mikey are partly not connecting the dots because they haven't seen Donnie's shell at all (since he's wearing a shirt and his shell is flat enough that even if there is a bump it isn't super noticeable) so they haven't even connected the dots that he is a turtle yet. But also this isn't something that Splinter has really talked about a whole lot. I'm going to actually explain how Splinter left Donnie behind in an upcoming scene (or at least hopefully I will be, unless something changes in my planning). Splinter in the show really hasn't explained to his kids how they were like created, and I think the same would apply to tlp Splinter. Escaping from Draxum AND losing one of his kids in the process would have been a really painful memory, and its not like his kids even remember the sibling that he left behind. I think his reasoning was why should I tell them about this sibling that is probably dead and like cause them to feel pain and loss over someone they don't even remember.

Donnie not being in the picture does change the dynamic a bit! I'm not super great at portraying it since I'm also mostly still figuring out how their dynamic is different. One thing I know for sure is that Raph and Splinter took on the responsibility of doing repairs around the lair. So Raph and Splinter are a lot closer mostly because they have spent a lot of time together just trying to figure out how to create a functioning home with electricity and plumbing and heating and stuff. And a lot of their troubles with that mostly come from the fact that they arent able to actually buy the supplies that they need to set up all of their utilities so they are mostly just trying their best with whatever trash they find. I think Leo would have ended up with most of the responsibility of looking after Mikey since Raph would have been busy helping Splinter with taking care of the lair and stuff, so Leo and Mikey are a lot closer to each other than they are with Raph. And I think now that Mikey is older and is starting to do things on his own Leo isn't quite sure what to do with himself since he's so used to just looking after Mikey, and he is trying to give Mikey space and stuff since he doesn't want to be overbearing and whatever but he does tend to hover. That's actually the same with Raph, once Donnie enters the picture, Donnie will just start taking on a lot of Raph's responsibilities because he finds them fun and so Raph will end up with a lot of free time on her hands to just try to figure out what she likes to do and stuff.

April hasn't been in the episodes that Ive been pulling plot stuff from so she hasn't shown up yet. She will eventually though. How old is April? like 16 I think? she's doing freaking SAT prep and getting ready to start applying for university and stuff she's just so busy all the time and also she's busy getting fired from every possible job she could get in New York that's why she hasn't been in the comic yet also I don't know how many days the comic spans over? Like not that much time has passed in the comic so it isn't that weird that April hasn't showed up. It is weird in the sense that I've been making the comic for a year but in the comic itself not much time has passed. She will show up! eventually!!!! I just don't really know how to like smoothly introduce her to Donnie, also like most of the plots involving Big Mama in the show dont really involve April so idk how to exactly get the two to meet. It'll happen though! definitely sometime this year askldfjh

#bean babbles #answered asks #anonymous asks #tlp au #the little prince separated au #oh wow that was a lot of text #lmk if you have any other questions! #i love answering questions #they are fun :)

[darubyprincx]

hey so do you ever do some casual fast research for a school assignment and get your heart blown out of your goddamn chest because- ok so.

this is Flower Power, an image taken by Bernie Boston during the American 1967 March on the Pentagon protests. The protesters, entirely peaceful, brought things such as candy, toys, flags, and played music to demonstrate that they were not angry and meant no harm.

That young man in the turtleneck in the center of the photo? His name is George Edgerly Harris III. Here's the paragraph on Wikipedia about him that made me stop breathing for a second.

This man, who is the central focus of one of the most iconic images of the 1960s, was openly queer. He performed in drag shows. He died in the early 80s at the start of the HIV/AIDS pandemic.

And so many people never knew this and maybe never will.

I don't know. I don't really have a point to make here about the erasure of queer identity or the fact that we were always here, albeit invisibly, in the histories. The stories. The photos. I just know that this has become my favorite historical image I've ever witnessed for several reasons, and not the least because of the several layers of meaning that's shown here.

I just wanted all my followers to see it. Rant over. I am FEELING THINGS in this Wendy's tonight.

#ray's tag #queer #queer history #lgbtq #gay #gay history

[olderthannetfic]

I don't know beans about traditional Chinese clothing and I'm not in any fandom where characters were hanfu, but I'm finding the conversation about it really interesting by analogy to something I am familiar with, Highland dress. I wear a kilt maybe about once a week, and the historical and cultural significance is important to me.

The full outfit one traditionally wears with a kilt has a gazillion pieces, and each pice has at least two names, was probably invented a few hundred years later than you think it was, and almost certainly is at the center of at least one political issue in the 18th or 19th century.

The thing you think of as a kilt is also called a small kilt, or a philabeg (a loan word from Gaelic, also spelled filibeg or phillibeg), and is technically half of the great kilt (aka philamor, also with spelling variations). It may or may not have been invented by an Englishman.

The Jacobite shirt is a recent invention. The wide belt with a huge buckle comes from military dress. Tartan is technically the name of the cloth, and a plaid is a sort of mini cloak you wear on your shoulder. Kilt pins only go through the top layer of fabric and don't pin the kilt together, and are a Victorian invention. Tartan patterns only gained close and official identities with specific clans or families or groups in the Victorian era. Some modern Tartans are under copyright and you need permission from the designer to weave or sell them, others are public domain and literally anyone can wear them, despite affiliation.

I could go on....

Or you can wear a kilt with stompy goth boots and a band tshirt, or with hiking boots and a polo shirt, that's fine too (and how I wear mine, more often than not).

It's not hard for me to see that hanfu is just as complex and has just as much historical and cultural significance as the traditional cultural clothing I'm more familiar with, and getting it wrong in a fic would look just as silly.

But you don't have to actually do this much research and know everything I know about Scottish history to write a character who wears a kilt, whether it's in a historical, present day, or fantasy setting.

You probably want to have an OK grasp of what Highland dress means to your character and why they wear it, and you want to acutally know what a kilt even is in the first place (it's a little more specific than just a skirt), but that's all you really need.

If a Chinese fanfic author wanted to write Outlander fic, and didn't want to do the in depth research to get the clothing terminology exactly right for the time period, that's fine. Just put the pleats in back and call it a kilt instead of a skirt and that's good enough.

-- Same anon who just sent the ask about Highland dress. I can see where the "it's not a robe" anons are coming from. To me, the word "robe" covers a huge variety of unrelated garments, including bathrobes and wizard robes and hanfu and kimono and togas and the sack-like things graduates wear and the things Medieval European kings wear. But if someone called a great kilt a robe, I think I'd have a fit. Yes, just like the other examples, it's a large flowing piece of cloth worn around the body in a certain style, but it's more specific than that. I most likely feel this way because I'm more familiar with great kilts than I am with the other examples. The others are all just different kinds of robes to me, but a great kilt is something specific that I know a lot about. If you described a great kilt to someone who didn't know anything about it as a type of robe, I would consider that accurate, but if you said of an Outlander character "he put on his robe", I would be like "excuse me???? that's a great kilt". That's probably how the "hanfu ≠ robe" anons are thinking.

For me, as a novelist, the calculation is simple:

When I'm writing in third person limited (as I usually do), how would the character be thinking about this clothing? That's what the argument boils down to.

On one side, we have "This word is more Chinese, so it feels more like it's honoring that these are Chinese canons".

On the other side, we have the equivalent of "Your Scottish guy from 1350 is not going around thinking 'He was clad in Scottish dress' about his bros who are just wearing normal clothing."

--

No one is confused about the two sides of the argument. They just disagree about whether 'hanfu' is anachronistic and exoticizing.

[soloorganaas]

I know you are anti Remadora so ignore this question if you don't feel like addressing this topic but I saw you talking about them before so I figured it might be OK to ask. How would you feel about an AU version where they get together under very different circumstances, when they are both ready, and there is no pressure, no emotional manipulation, no rushing into things, etc.? So I guess my question is: do you hate Remadora period or do you hate the way their relationship was written in canon? Because for me it's the latter, and I can't ship it if it's canon compliant but I love Remus and Tonks as individuals, and although I ship Wolfstar too, I think there is great potential in their dynamic. It's a straight presenting relationship but in my head they're both queer and I think that's important to note, too.

this is a great question i got back in december, wrote half an essay for, then left in my drafts. i was reminded by the chaos discord of it so dug it out, finished the essay and voila. so i hope you follow me anon and get to enjoy my response to your question

tl;dr - i would never want to read remus and tonks together because remus is gay. gay identity and history is central to his characterisation, as is his relationship with sirius. remus's meaning and impact comes from that, and it's both a beautiful and sad story that resonates with so many gay people

jkr forced his relationship with tonks into being deliberately to try and erase remus's gay identity. she didn't write a meaningful loving relationship with a woman that would have characterised him as bisexual. if she had, then that relationship wouldn't have made remus 'less gay'. it would have been another facet woven in with a broader queer identity. but she didn't. remus did not want to be with tonks, and he was miserable the entire time. he was manipulated into being with her by the bastion of the cishet nuclear family molly weasley, and was only finally happy when he had a son and finally fitted the traditional family friendly cishet mold and said goodbye to his gayness forever

so a story with remus and tonks erases remus's gay identity because it's portraying him as something that he isn't and it plays into the homophobia of jkr in writing it to start with

i have ✨ expanded ✨ on this below with three main points:

1. remus is gay

2. gay history and identity is central to remus's characterisation

3. remus’s story is defined by his relationship with sirius

remus’s sexuality

the biggest question of all is whether remus is into women or not. I don’t think there’s an argument that he is based on his relationship with tonks. this is obviously a subject that can be talked about in great depth, but the key point is that he doesn’t show any interest in her, rejects her again and again, and is miserable when they're married. there’s nothing to indicate any romantic feelings or sexual attraction on his part, any desire to be emotionally or physically intimate, any sense that she understands him in a deep and unique way, or really that she brings him any joy

beyond tonks, I think he’s characterised as not into women generally. he never performs/acts/presents himself in any way for the female gaze - it’s not just about not actively trying to attract women, there is literally no way in which he ever acts like he seems concerned with what women think or passively adopts traits to please them. he also doesn’t have any intense relationships with women that we know of, or any moments of chemistry or tension with women. all of his intense feelings and interactions are with men. all of this is characteristic of the experience of being a gay person

the centrality of gay identity and history to remus's story

remus’s life encapsulates the loneliness and hardship of being gay in the 70s/80s/90s. the marginalisation, the secrecy, the danger of being found out, the suspicion. he is a character constantly carrying a Big Secret, and he’s shaped himself to develop layers of self-control, discretion and manipulation that keep any potentially revealing emotions or personal details safely hidden. he goes out of his way to avoid visibly making trouble or raising his head above the parapet, to present himself as perfectly respectable, which was (and often still is) a fundamental part of existing as gay in a homophobic society, to counter any perceptions of being a predator or untrustworthy or abnormal

and it is a deliberate performance, bc we know quite clearly how much trouble he’s making under the surface - he hides the knowledge of padfoot and the map from dumbledore, he revels in gaslighting snape when he finds the map on harry, his first action when he sees peter and sirius on the map is not to inform the authorities, but to run to them himself and keep it a secret. he’s a mischievous, deviant, sarcastic, often morally grey troublemaker, but no one for a second (except sirius) would ever see that in him

but despite all remus's attempts at respectability, he still is marginalised. he’s fundamentally seen as a dangerous freak, someone who shouldn’t be allowed near children or polite society lest he corrupt them, which is such a metaphor for homophobia (and esp against gay men) it punches you in the face. he’s trapped in poverty despite his education and assumed family wealth and is forced to rely on others for financial security. like so many other gay people throughout history his safety entirely comes from his community, bc he can’t rely on any institutional support - and when it disappears, as it does in 1981, he’s left poor, unsafe and adrift

and then there’s sirius

sirius and remus

remus's entire life from when he joins hogwarts to when he dies is shaped by sirius

he goes from a lonely, marginalised boy to someone loved and valued by his friends, to the point they perform incredibly dangerous and illegal magic just to try and reach him in the aspect of his life that's most painful and isolating. this is largely due to sirius and james. there's not much we know about remus's relationship then with sirius specifically, other than that sirius was both affectionately teasing and affectionately rude towards him (from swm). the rest is extrapolation from how close they are as adults. but the story that we do get is one that wouldn’t exist without sirius

remus then spends thirteen years tortured by the knowledge of what sirius has done that he still can't quite accept, as well as the knowledge of what sirius is going through as the a prisoner in azkaban. he doesn't ever come close to moving on - he loses his shit every time harry brings up sirius; he questions whether sirius, despite being an alleged mass murderer, really deserves azkaban; he is incredibly stressed and anxious to the point of noticeably losing weight the entirety of PoA, which is not just down to lycanthrophy. his entire mental state (and to an extent his physical one) is dictated by sirius

then the moment there's even a hint that sirius might not have committed the crimes alleged remus drops everything and runs. he faces sirius for the first time in thirteen years and believes him instantly. he's at sirius's side defending him and working with him with an astonishing amount of trust for someone he thought (at least partially) was guilty not an hour before. that's a mark of how deep his love and devotion goes, and how much he was simply waiting around for sirius all those years

we have no idea what remus does in GoF, but we do know by OotP he once again drops everything for sirius and moves into an absolutely miserable house to live alongside him. there's no reason for him to be there other than sirius (no one else in the order needs to live there, after all). every scene he's in, every bit of dialogue in that book is related to sirius. when he's saying goodbye to harry after christmas his advice is a subtle reference to sirius. they give harry a joint christmas present, they take care of him together. they exist entirely as partners

after sirius dies, remus completely falls apart. every time we see him through harry's eyes he's worse and worse. by the christmas of harry's sixth year remus is referring to werewolf tribes murdering humans for fun as his 'equals' and has clearly lost all sense of self-worth or reason for being. he's such a wreck he's emotionally manipulated into marrying a woman he doesn't want to and then is an absolutely terrible husband the entire time. even when his son is born, he's still acting thinking of sirius - he asks harry to be teddy's godfather, emulating the example sirius set

remus is who he is because of his relationship with sirius, one that is far, far too intense to be just platonic

conclusion

there is no way i, personally, would ever be comfortable with a remadora relationship. even if they were similar ages or got to know each other in a different context, it still wouldn't be realistic. remus is gay, that entire relationship came about with the intention to straight wash him. putting him together with any woman bothers me, but putting him together with tonks specifically upsets me because of the homophobic background for why that relationship even exists in canon

there are a lot of relationships we can quibble about as to whether they work or not, and that's fair. remadora is one of them. but the extra layer of jkr's homophobia in forcing them together can't be separated from that discussion. some people may view their relationship as meaningful in spite of that. that's fine, we're all entitled to our own headcanons. it's not mine, and there is no story i want to read where remus is with tonks. there's no story i want to read where he isn't gay, full stop

#wolfstar #remus lupin #hp meta #hp

[strawberrys-starship]

Ok so, I'm gonna warn you straight out the gate that this whole post is about a/b/o and the omegaverse, so if you don't like that scroll on 👍🏻

But basically I got thinking about how the omegaverse might add a whole new layer to queer identities and then I wrote all this! If you have something you'd like to add or comment on then feel free

(This also mentions sex and sexuality so beware I suppose)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

So I'm reading an a/b/o fic, as one does, and it got me thinking about how the a/b/o dynamic would affect the real world

So in this fic, basically as soon as the main pairing realized that they were an alpha and an omega, they like immediately start fucking. Like I'm not even joking they barely get into a private room and everything

And I was reading it and asking myself how realistic this would be if the omegaverse actually existed

And like, I know, its absolutely pointless to question the realism of a/b/o, because realism is not why it exists in the slightest, but it got me thinking anyway

So I very quickly came to the conclusion that no, obviously if the omegaverse existed not every single compatible omega and alpha would just immediately fuck eachother, just like how not every single compatible man and woman immediately fuck eachother

And then that got me thinking about how omegaverse sexuality works, just like, in general

Because from what I've seen and personally choose to believe, the omegaverse is kinda just an extra gender binary, right? Like it has a biological component, but also there's a larger social one on top of it. So is the omegaverse basically a new layer in the whole gender/sexuality cake? Are there specific labels for which a/b/o gender you're attracted to or identify as? Or is your secondary gender strictly a biological thing that doesn't branch into gender and sexuality?

What about ace people? How are they affected by it? What happens when a sex repulsed ace omega goes into heat? Does it give them a sex drive, or just make them run a high fever and nothing else? And the same things with ace alphas, do they just get a lot of morning wood and nothing else?

How do aro people navigate all this? Personally I like to think that the mating bites aren't inherently romantic or even sexual (and also don't have to be given during heats or ruts) so I imagine there's quite a lot of platonic bonds between people, like how some real aro people get married without any romantic intentions behind it. I imagine it's hard to navigate the world as an allosexual aro person too, seeing as in most cases, mating bites are seen as like, the ultimate goal when spending your heat or rut with someone, so trying to find safe avenues to actually deal with heats and ruts must be extremely difficult.

Rounding back to the whole labels thing, I'm wondering how specific they'd be, y'know? Like say you're a cis man, and also an omega, and you're only attracted to other omega men, how limiting or feasible is that as a concept? How many other omega men are also attracted to omega men, is it looked down upon? Does it even matter in this specific omegaverse society?

What about gender? Are there people who are say, a cis woman but a trans alpha? What about betas, are they the a/b/o equivalent of a nonbinary person? Personally I like to think of betas as basically the a/b/o intersex label (not an idea originally created by me, I'll say here) where they can show traits from both alphas and omegas in varying levels of intensity (which means that they often falsely present as one or the other, and usually that person doesn't know they're a beta till they get a medical examination or something similar)

But if that is the case and betas are just omegaverse intersex, then can there be trans betas? Obviously in real life, intersex is a medical thing not a gender identity and therefore you can't transition to become intersex, but we're working in the lawless land of omegaverse so who knows what's going on.

I think for my personal omegaverse headcanon, betas are intersex people and you can't transition to be a beta

Circling back again, what about the a/b/o equivalent of non binary and gender queer identities? Are there people who just don't identify or fall into the boxes of 'alpha' and 'omega' as gender identities? What would this be like for them? What would transitioning look like?

And again, this is all said in the assumption that the real life gender binary still exists, so could you be a cis person but be basically omegaverse nonbinary too? What would social transition look like? Because all the social hierarchy I've ever seen for a/b/o is based off of being able to smell someone's scent, right? So would a a/b/o nonbinary persons (I'm gonna start calling them gammas so I don't have to type that all out) goal if they decide to medically transition to be to get their scent as neutral as possible?

Would there be any social transition for a gamma person at all? Beyond how someone might be treated for their secondary gender, there's not a whole lot of so called 'gendered' language when it comes to a/b/o. Someone might refer to you by your secondary gender, but there's no pronouns or gendered names and terms related to it. So would you just be occasionally correcting people when they refer to you as an alpha or omega?

Also, what would just a general transition between one secondary gender to another look like? Like say you're an alpha who experiences gender dysphoria related to your secondary gender strong enough that you decide you want to take medical steps to change it. What would change with just hormones, what would need surgery? I imagine that your scent as well as scent glands would all change with hormones, but what about an alphas knot? Would you stop being able to knot once you started hormones, or not?

This also has the problem of an alphas and omegas general anatomy changing based on their biological sex too. Like, would a cis woman who was born an alpha but then later realized she was actually an omega need surgery to remove any alpha parts? (I still haven't decided what exactly a female alpha would have tbh)

How does all of this change if your just a regular trans person too? What would being a trans man who's also a trans omega look like and be like?

So many questions, so little time...

Ok, I think that's enough of pondering the orb for me...

#omegaverse #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o #queer #gay #bisexual #transgender #nonbinary #lesbian #ponderings #asexual #aromantic

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Prince of Egypt

Papa Bless (literally) its time for me to talk about one of my favorite animated movies, nay, one of my favorite MOVIES ever made. Prince of Egypt is a work of art. Hands down, it is one of the most incredible movies I have ever seen. I'm not even religious (I did grow up Christian and am now a Filthy Heathen but that's beside the point). The real point is that this movie is one that I think can be enjoyed by anyone reguardless of religion. At its core, they took a simple biblical story and turned it into something with raw passion and emotion and art. And I simply adore it.

Every time I watch this movie, its such an experience for me. I always fall in love with new things, from the fantastic character designs, to the insanely lovely animation to the beautiful songs and score to the way the story is told and the emotions the characters go through with it. Everything in this movie feels huge, weighty, and important. It's very respectful to its source material while making changes that make it work better as a film, particularly the brotherly dynamic between Moses and Rameses that adds a whole new layer of drama onto the story.

As for that story, we all know the Exodus story by now so I'll spare you on that and discuss the things the movie does on its own. That dynamic between Moses and Rameses is at the heart of the movie and it really is just a devestating tragedy to watch them break apart and become enemies because of the huge responsibilities thrust onto both of their shoulders. The fact that tragedy ends on such a heartcrushing note too its just... god. (literally god, get it? cause this is all his fault lol jk ok)

Moses is fantastically written, a great main character to follow who has compelling drama, at first about his true identity and how he struggles to comes to terms with it and then grappling with having to oppose Rameses to set the Hebrews free. Rameses himself may just be one of Dreamworks best villains, you really do feel bad for him but you also know he's bringing so much of this suffering on himself because of his own stubborn pride. The rest of the cast is also fantastic, Tzipporah is lovely and really fun, Miriam is an absolute sweetheart, Aaron is a sassy little loser but I love how he comes around in the end, and well, God is God (the burning bush scene tho, can we talk about that? fucking INSANE)

The MUSIC man, each song is SO damn good its hard for me to even pick a favorite. Deliver Us is such a strong opening, a wonderful way to set the stage that makes the stakes feel high right from the start. All I Ever Wanted is a great way to show the life Moses always knew cracking from the inside out. Through Heaven's Eyes is just a bop with a lovely message about change and growth. Playing with the Big Boys is delightfully sinister and the Plagues, oh GOD THE PLAGUES???? INSANE MAN SO DRAMATIC AND INTENSE AND THE IMAGERY IS JUST??!?!?! BRUH! When You Believe might be my favorite though, it starts out somber but grows into this hopeful triumph of excitement and relief and its absolutely beautiful.

This movie is so beautiful to look at too! The composition of some of these shots, the storyboarding, the facial expressions, the set pieces, the movement of the animation, its all so expertly crafted, so entrancing to watch every second of it. Like I said at the start, this movie truly is an utter work of art in every sence of the word.

I've been gushing about this movie for long enough I think, but I can't help it! It's honestly that good! And its so hard to believe that it came hot off the heels of a trash heap like Antz. Like bruh how were they cooking that shit and the godsend that is Prince of Egypt at the same time??? Insane, utterly insane. This studio is ridiculous.

Anyway, Prince of Egypt is the GOAT and I will fight you if you disagree.

Overall Rating: 10/10

Verdict: Tzipporah marry me pls

Previous Review (Antz)

Next Review (Road to El Dorado)

#jen watches #prince of egypt #dreamworks watch #dreamworks animation #jen tortures herself with every dreamworks animated movie ever

[chuuya-fan-page]

hello it’s me again (anon who asked if this is a character analysis account, if the answer’s no then just ignore this ask)

ok so. I am absolutely desperate to read some hot takes on one specific Chuuya topic that I never see anyone posting about.

what are your (‘your’ plural, if there are different opinions among the mods) thoughts on Chuuya and his relationship with his own social class status?

He went from homeless to extremely wealthy in a very short span of time. How does he feel about that? Does he enjoy the luxuries of his new life or does he feel like a class traitor? A bit of both? neither?

I feel like I’ve posted this exact thought word for word on my own blog, so there isn’t much of a point of me being on anon. but whatever I still haven’t found any analyses on this in all the time since then

THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING TOPIC, ILY ANON

(Stormbringer spoilers ahead!)

I've always imagined that Chuuya would care about different parts of his new found luxury in different ways.

We see from the opening of Stormbringer that he has a large closet filled with expensive clothes, but there's no awe around it, he's so casual about getting dressed, despite how different his street clothes were from the things he now wears. He chooses a shirt at random and chucks on a pair of emerald cufflinks, like...sir????

We also know from this part that Chuuya doesn't care about money, but I do wonder if he cares about other things, other things that would be more difficult to find on the streets, for example; food, medicine, shelter, basic hygiene products, etc etc.

In general Chuuya's focus in Stormbringer is entirely on finding out about his past, so it's difficult to get a read on his approach to most things as he's laser-focused in on that one target.

I do think he feels a level of shame for ascending so quickly in class, just an extra splash of guilt on top of the betrayal of the Sheep that he was told was his own fault, but less so focusing on his higher class but the fact that he has more than the Sheep ever had, and yet they gave him more than he ever gave them (given that the Sheep never treated Chuuya's protection as something he was giving them but something they were owed).

I find Chuuya's outfits throughout the arcs as a possible exploration into his perspective of his newfound wealth.

Stormbringer Chuuya wears a plain black suit, no discerning features to make it him, he's lost in this world of silk ties and dress shoes, all he's ever known is the streets, and yet he's simultaneously unimpressed by it all. His appearance in Stormbringer also heavily resembles Verlaine, but that's a whole OTHER can of worms.

DHC Chuuya's outfit differs the most from the rest of the one's we see him wear whilst in the mafia; it's quite rough and tough compared to what he had worn just a few months ago, including his hair which is suspiciously short (unlike a certain SOMEONE previously mentioned). I believe DHC Chuuya is trying to regain some of his individuality, he's rejecting the rich clothes of the mafia and leaning back into his many-layered outfit of Fifteen.

Chuuya's outfit in the current canon show that he's embracing the riches he's found in the mafia. He's come to terms with it as a part of his identity, although he still wears the Hat (yet another Worm Can yet to be opened), as well as his many layers we see him donning in Fifteen (Seriously bro was wearing like three shirts, are you not sweating under all that????)

So, to summarise, I do think he feels some guilt at suddenly having so much more than he once had, he is initially uncaring for symbols of wealth but comes to appreciate them (and I think part of his rejection of the appearance of wealth could easily be because of the death of the Flags and Verlaine as well as his own issues with identity).

-T

#i hope this answered your question #tbh i just started rambling at some point because i am SUCH sucker for costume design #also Darkness my sorrow started playing while I was writing this #It's practically Destiny #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #chuuya analysis #chuuya bsd #i love nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuya #chuuya fan page #Also gonna point out the Coat that Chuuya wears is reminiscent of the Coat that Dazai and Akutagawa both wore #Which is a symbol of their mafia identity #just like Chuuya's hat #however it is also symbolic of their attitude towards emotions #and how they are not honest or forthcoming about them #“cloaking” them #in a sense #and if we're talking about CHUUYA and emotions #we find a third can of worms #god I love the costume design of BSD #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #bsd analysis #bsd fifteen #bsd stormbringer #bsd anime #bsd manga

[wendytestabrat]

WHAT I THINK THE ICARLY CHARACTER’S BIG 3 ARE IN ASTROLOGY

ok time for icarly edition of the big 3. it’s the layers of an onion. i talk abt the rising sign first bc that’s how u come across to others on first appearance, then the sun sign is like ur identity & shit, and your moon is ur deep emotional side. all of the icarly characters’ birthdays have been confirmed so yeah all of these sun signs are canon but the rising & moons are my wild guesses. imo these sun signs are ON POINT and the icarly writers or whoever the fuck did a good job picking the characters’ birthdays lol. except for spencer tho idk if scorpio would’ve been the best sign i’d pick for him. okie….

CARLY:

yeah carly is DEF a libra rising she comes across super nice, sweet, polite, & friendly and she’s always mediating conflicts when sam & freddie are fighting LOL. but yeah when u peel back the onion she’s a canon leo (her bday is july 24) bc when u get to know carly better she’s not as sweet as she seems and she’s actually rlly bitchy and bossy AF like a leo LOL. (which is why her & sam get along bc sam is an aries which is also a fire sign so that’s why carly enables sam’s cruelty and bad attitude sometimes AND why they both like to be in the spotlight). she’s a total diva & an egomaniac bc the bitch named the webshow after herself and thinks it’s all about her (look i know how to make fun of my own sign isn’t it great how we leos know how to take a joke) & carly is a HUGE leader too. i’m also a libra rising leo sun so i have the same problem where i come across all nice & sweet at first to most people but then when they discover my leo they realize how much of a cunt i rlly am LOL (and then they hate me bc they thought i was someone they could use & manipulate at first but then they discover i’m not so they’re like oh shit bye i’m done with you). i feel like most of us leos are like carly we’re all nice & friendly and shit but we’re not afraid to let out the sass and be mean if we have to which is carly af LOL. and then carly is a capricorn moon which explains why she’s def the responsible one of the group. carly is rlly mature for her age and has her shit together considering the fact she’s always the one who ends up parenting spencer and not the other way around.

SAM:

sam def gives me earth rising vibes so i feel like she’s a taurus rising. sam comes across rlly dependable and loyal (she sticks by carly’s side through thick and thin) and sam keeps shit real too like a taurus. AND she loves food too LOL. but yeah peeling back the onion she’s DEF an aries which is EXTREMELY fitting bc they’re the aggressive, feisty, impulsive ones of the zodiac and that’s literally sam’s entire character. but yeah peeling back the onion even MORE i think sam is a cancer moon bc deep down sam is sensitive AF like a cancer and she’s rlly intuitive too which is why she’s so manipulative in so many episodes LOL. jennette mccurdy is a cancer irl so i feel like there’s a lot of cancer vibes in sam’s character too. it also makes her aries outbursts like 100x more volatile and emotional bc of all the mood swings she has. sam is a rlly caring person she just doesn’t like to show it prob bc of her aries sun lol. AND she’s protective af too like remember that time she whooped that girl’s ass at the groovy smoothie after she was bullying carly?

FREDDIE:

yeah he’s def a virgo rising. freddie comes across rlly brainy and analytical & he’s extremely dependable too and quick to lend a hand and help someone out if they need it. peeling back the onion he’s actually an aquarius which is fitting AF. freddie is a total tech nerd and aquariuses are the innovators of the zodiac lol & he’s rlly aloof and overly logical abt shit but freddie is still rlly friendly, nice, & easygoing like a typical aquarius. but deep down freddie is a pisces moon bc freddie is sensitive AF and gets butthurt easily lol. he’s a rlly passive person and he gets pushed around easily and taken advantage of like a pisces which was why he let carly string him along for 47373892 years and let sam bully the shit out of him LOL. freddie is too nice for his own good and has a total martyr complex bc he helps bitches too much who don’t deserve his help.

SPENCER:

spencer is an aquarius rising bc yeah spencer comes across weird af. he’s constantly inventing shit and sculpting random ass art projects and he does NOT like to live life the conventional way hence why he has no real job. but yeah spencer is actually a scorpio (which honestly isn’t the best sign for him i’d rather him just be an aquarius sun) which makes sense to some extent how he’s RLLY passionate and focused on his art projects and shit. spencer is also rlly loyal, caring, & protective like a scorpio and he has his occasional moments where his stinger comes out and he gets overly protective like that time he didn’t want carly dating the peewee baby dude LOL. but yeah spencer is a sag moon bc he’s SUPER energetic, spontaneous, & adventurous and he does NOT like to settle down. i mean the dude was only in law school for 3 days and then dropped out that is some sagittarius shit right there. spencer has to have some fire in his big 3 bc he’s the dude who literally starts fires all the time soooo LOL.

GIBBY:

yeah gibby is a sag rising he comes across SUPER outgoing & adventerous and he’s always down to do the craziest shit. he’s a fun guy u wanna hang out with. and he also can be aggressive af too like u do NOT wanna mess with gibby, remember when he whooped nora’s ass???? but yeah gibby’s bday is jan 20 which is RIGHT at the beginning of aquarius season (i deadass thought he was a capricorn at first) so yeah he’s an aquarius bc he’s weird AF. gibby doesn’t give a fuck and he does his own thing. he likes dancing with his shirt off. only an aquarius would do something so humiliating. but deep down he’s a taurus moon. gibby def gives me earth vibes he’s chill af and he’s rlly solid & dependable and always there for everyone. he keeps it 100% real no bs. gibby doesn’t pretend to be someone he’s not. gibby is gibby.

#icarly #creddie #seddie #carly shay #sam puckett #freddie benson #spencer shay #gibby #gibby gibson #ASTROLOGYSHITPOSTS