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#just like. less present
stuckinapril · 5 months
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used to daydream about fairytale reconciliations after pretty much every platonic or romantic fallout i ever had, but sometimes it’s healthier to just accept that someone will never own up bc they don’t think you’re worth the trouble. anyone who truly cares would move mountains just to make sure that they communicate w you if they truly want to rectify the situation. but sometimes it’s their ego getting in the way, sometimes they have a narrative of you in their head they’re determined not to break, and sometimes they just don’t care enough about you to even consider it. they don’t have respect for the friendship or relationship in its posthumous state bc it was nothing to them, or at the very least it doesn’t eclipse their pride or their desire to appear correct in a situation or just outright the need to be done w the situation rather than be a good person. still guilty of this but i’ve been getting better at just nipping the delusion in the bud and just being okay w accepting that someone truly does not care. until they prove they do that is the assumption i go w every time. and it is saving me a lot of heartache
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ryllen · 8 months
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[ cute raincoat ]
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oceanwithouthermoon · 1 month
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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..
if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..
and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.
he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)
he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..
#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon#like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him#but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is#hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute#and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it#idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them#need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless#and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria#and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times#this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what#he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates#i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but#a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo#so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more#though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers#a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain#anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless#and i want to know who his friends would be#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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chirpsythismorning · 9 months
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Just watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time and I need to talk about it.
Throughout the movie, we see Ennis experience a lot of intense discomfort and fear at the idea of being intimate with a man, despite it becoming abundantly clear in the details and based on his actions that that is indeed what he wants. He even admits to Jack that this fear stems from an experience he had at a young age, when his father showed him two men who were presumed to be lovers (they were roommates vibes), murdered and castrated, with him basically using it as a lesson to show Ennis that being gay was wrong and would get you killed.
Jack on the other hand was a little less discomforted or fearful at the idea of being with a man, in that we actually saw him return the following summer to Brokeback Mountain hoping Ennis would be there, only for him to show up alone. We saw how after this he confidently approached a man at the bar hoping to get to know him, only to get rejected and risk getting hate crimed (foreshadowing 😭). And we saw how, over time, Jack’s struggle had more to do with being hurt over Ennis’ unwillingness to commit or even just consider the possibility of them being together long term, even despite the risk of being gay in the 60’s.
Near the end of the film, upon Jack’s death, Ennis discovers from his father that over the past 20 years since they met at Brokeback Mountain, Jack constantly brought it up to his folks, how Ennis, his friend, was going to move up to their ranch and they were going to build a cabin and live together and take over for the family.
Jack was often the one in the moment taking the chances for them to be together. He was the one who mentioned that they could go to Mexico, with Ennis furiously rejecting it saying ‘you know what happens to people like you there??’
But what’s even more painful, is that in this same scene, Ennis’ acknowledges the truth more directly, and why it’s so painful is because it ends up ironically coming true:
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Here, Ennis is basically saying that if he decides to be with Jack for real, aka faces his queerness head on, that’s going to be the thing that gets them (Jack) killed. Shortly after this, Jack loses it and has that infamous ass monologue, followed by Ennis breaking down over how it’s Jack’s fault that he’s this way in the first place.
In the end, when Jack dies, Ennis finds out about what happened from Jack’s wife, Lureen Newsome, who said Jack was pumping up a flat out on a backroad when his tire blew up, with the rim of the tire slamming his face, breaking his nose and jaw, and knocking him unconscious on his back. By the time someone drove by on the deserted backroad, he had drowned in his own blood.
The audience might’ve believed this story, if it wasn’t for how rehearsed it sounded coming out of Lureen’s mouth, but it also doesn’t help that images of Jack being hate crimed as his true cause of death are flashing across Ennis’s mind in real time while Lureen is telling him about the ‘accident’.
While it’s left up to interpretation, it’s implied from what his wife and father said, that Jack was hate-crimed by his father in law, with it being covered up.
Broken nose? Broken jaw?… Those are the kinds of wounds someone endures after being beaten up. And if it’s happening to the point of death, then he was essentially beaten to death.
This then fits into what Jack’s father said, because apparently, shortly before he died, he’d told his father he’d found a different friend that was going to come up there to the ranch with him. And so it’s very likely Lureen’s father caught wind of this as his plans to leave neared, leading to his murder (Jack also bitched his father in law tf out in an epic way, which on its own felt unnecessary in the moment, but within the context of this makes a whole lot more sense).
Either way, it seems Jack waited for Ennis to change his mind. 20 years he waited, and when Ennis didn’t, Jack finally moved on with someone else who made an offer of his own years before, only to get murdered just as Ennis feared he would if he decided to live his life authentically.
Ennis initially found out like this, in a postcard that bounced of him inquiring Jack about seeing each other again after that last massive fall out where they had, only for Ennis’s worst fear to be realized:
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Nov 7th with deceased stamped across it has me spiraling 😭
Now, obviously Brokeback Mountain is one of the most well known queer films of all time, like there’s no denying that. So it’s fairly easy to assume ST could be taking some inspiration from this film just like they have with hundreds upon hundreds of other films. But especially if they are planning to go the queer route, homage to this film is pretty much guaranteed (there’s also one more reason it might be guaranteed, but I’m saving that for the end 🤣).
Regardless, as you can probably already tell, it’s very easy to see similarities between Ennis with Mike and Jack with Will.
Mike getting the ‘you see Michael? You see what happens?’ treatment from his father, in the first episode in the series, is very Ennis coded in that this is a TV show that follows that up with seasons of Mike pushing Will away from him, with it leading to a boiling point where he says, ‘What did you think? Really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement in play games for the rest of our lives?’ with Will responding, ‘Yeah. I guess I did. I really did,’ aka extremely Jack coded.
The really epic thing about this though, is that ST is clearly going on a different journey than Brokeback Mountain did, in that it’s simply subverting the bury your gays trope. While they are acknowledging the risk of being queer in the 80’s, they’re not letting it end ‘realistically’ like many people have insisted it must because that is the only option. And this will be a satisfying ending because it’s coming as a response to all those heartbreaking stories before it that have reinforced this idea that happy endings just aren’t an option for gay people who simply want to be together.
While Ennis and Jack didnt get their happy ending like they wanted, Mike and Will on the other hand 😏
And last but not least, on a more hilariously ironic note, the guy who Jack was going to settle for in the end instead of Ennis, was a guy named Randall Malone, played by none other than David fucking Harbour.
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why-the-heck-not · 16 days
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Presentation done!!! The birds are singing, sun is shining, life has meaning again etc. That was the last shitty thing for my bachelor’s degree; it’s smooth sailing from here (only writing & coding and nothing too scary/social)
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sincerely-sofie · 8 months
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*gently places angsty Twig comic in your hands*
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There comes a point in healing, sometimes, where you must grieve the child you never got to be, and bury her along with the desperate hope of one day somehow becoming her.
It isn’t fair. And it never will be.
But you grieve the child, still.
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kagoutiss · 1 year
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some bog & rya from my last sketchbook
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bitchfitch · 9 months
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first @yeehawgust prompt was 'gather the posse' and since I'm using this challenge as a way to explore new characters I just took that to mean "design the fuckers"
anyways, Whiskey and Tago. Tbh this pose was meant to be more a metaphor thing than literal, but it's making me strongly consider changing Whiskey to being a they/them(plural) instead of a they/them(singular).
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mint-is-here · 3 months
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not the type of thing i normally post but my brain decided to start missing the dsmp yesterday so i drew ranboo
i was going to draw ghostbur but i couldnt find a pose that i liked so ranboo the beloved it is
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hanzajesthanza · 7 months
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Geralt: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One. Yennefer, code name: “Been There, Done That.” Fringilla is “Currently Doing That.” Regis is “It Happened Once in a Dream”; Dandelion, code name: “If I Had To Pick a Dude.” Milva is... Eagle Two.
Milva: Oh, thank the gods.
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accirax · 5 months
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Through the magic of an AU, Xander, Min, and Teruko make it through the night, avoid a Class Trial, and participate in the first motive alongside everyone else. Except, this time, the first motive is... a gift exhange?
(basically, if it wasn't clear, i'm drawing the drdt characters doing a secret santa exchange with each other, hopefully posting one interaction per day until christmas!)
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transfem vil: broke
gender-fluid vil: woke
transmasc vil: bespoke
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number1villainstan · 3 months
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we need transman/transmasc characters who are a) butch dykes or/and b) absolute bastards of any variety--magnificent, sleazy, fucked-up, garden-variety, weaselly, queer-coded, with a heart of gold, any and all varieties! more butch trans men/mascs! more bastard trans men/mascs! the stereotype of "trans men are/want to be Just Some Guy" might be a step up from "trans men/mascs are all effeminate uwu softboys and can never be Real Men" but some of us want to show off!
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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Hiiii besties I um. Rly want money. Would anyone want a tweened icon like these for like $20? I'm usually pretty fast with them so it shouldn't take longer than like a few days max
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a-s-levynn · 8 months
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(source)
#sleep token#here is a thing#there are certain moments when Vessel looks.. no he rather feels.. small#i mean his.. aura? presence? but not in the non-captivating way but as in an emotionally vulnerable way#i don't really have the words to describe this but just like on this picture#bear with me for a minute because this is either gonna sound completely unhinged or make some sort of sense#it's probably just me having a little more time on my hand than i should and just want to see things but..#sometimes he feels so present in a here-i-am as-i-am take-me-as-you-will this-is-all-i-am i-can't-give-more-nor-less it's-just-me sorta way#he feels so human in the rawest sense possible and yet so deep in character maybe even more so than when he creatures or teefs and all#like.. he is just vessel in it's simplicity and without the 'divine' if you will.. simply just vessel#in his barest of existance#a shadow of someone who used to be but not quite anymore#he is in pieces and it is willingly laid bare under the mask and all that bodypaint oh so clear to see for anyone#and that is not the outstreched hand of you-are-not-alone but the outstreched soul that cries you-can-find-yourself-in-me#and that is what i find so heartbreaking about him#this kind if raw openness because the lore says vessel is a conduit for sleep#for us vessel (and the the others) is the conduit of our emotions#and he is there somewhere inbetween the truths#just him a simple human being who sometimes seems to wish not to be human which makes him more human than anything#and that is what i can't describe better than 'sometimes he feels small' and at time even maybe makes me cry a little
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utilitycaster · 6 months
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Sort of a distant tangent off my post about Ashton, but I'm growing more and more suspicious of the fandom claim that there's no time for small RP moments in Campaign 3. I do think that it's been challenging to get deeper party bonding or serious conversations that aren't about the big philosophical questions they're facing, since those do take much more time; but then I think about Calamity, or Candela Obscura. I can genuinely give you at least a couple paragraphs about pretty much every relationship in the two Circles, or in the Ring of Brass. I can also point to no shortage of small moments between characters in the Mighty Nein Aeor or Vox Machina Vecna endgame episodes, which were all extremely plot-heavy and fast-paced, and D20 consistently nails character relationships in a fraction of the time.
I think it really does come down to, as Brennan Lee Mulligan always says, the character creation phase. Laying down a solid groundwork in which everyone has a detailed, rich backstory and sense of personality and relationship history (in the case of characters who knew each other prior to the start of the series) is absolutely crucial, and even in the case of characters who don't know each other before going in, a good amount of time spent in character creation ensures that it's easier for them to develop those interpersonal relationships on the fly. I know in actual play there's some degree of finding the character as you play, but there are games for which there is a very short runway, and I don't think it ever hurts to do more extensive character prep than the bare minimum. And if there are gaps, I think it also helps to go back and fill those in mid-way, away from the table - Travis clarifying Chetney's backstory being a great example that allowed the history of Chetney and Deanna to feel realized and full, despite only a few episodes.
I'll also be blunt: most of the time when people complain that there aren't moments because the plot keeps moving...they're mad about shipping. Which has always rung hollow to me. It was a common complaint in C2, that no time was taken for character relationships, despite them taking an entire half of an episode for the Beauyasha date and despite no shortage of moments for all three of the other couples (and plenty of platonic moments between friends). The issue was never a lack of time; it was that the characters they wanted to talk to each other didn't actually have the relationship in canon that the fans had dreamed up, and so, when the chips were down, they went to other people.
It takes two seconds to say something like "I hold their hand", even in the middle of plot-heavy adventuring. If someone doesn't say it, it's rarely the GM rushing them; it's the player either choosing not to do so, or not remembering to do so, and either of those is quite revealing regarding how the player feels about that relationship and where it stands in their priorities.
#i've felt this for a while but like. fundamentally? C3 is just...uniquely not set up for terribly satisfying shipping#even the ships I do like and that get small moments are relatively background#like 80% of quote unquote ship content is like. fanon goggles overlaying either parallel play or standard battle mechanics#which is fine! I think it's a different vibe and approach than the past 2 campaigns#i think especially in character creation; self-insert or easy for new players (c1)#followed by Morally Gray Campaign; Prove We Can Replicate This Success; Serious Characters (C2); followed by Let's Get Silly With It (C3)#which is less conducive to that profound connection of c1 or c2. which is not a bad thing!#but god. if you complain about the D&D show having too much d&d plot and not enough romance...yeah pal it's d&d not a dating sim#like I enjoy when there is romance in my fantasy but it's not a requirement. there is a genre full of romance. it is called romance.#i'm also thinking about this bc I need to watch wot s2 but i've been told that the fandom has gotten weird#like wow so moiraine/siuan is not the A plot? in a high fantasy Good vs. Evil series? WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT.#getting back to this...i'm also thinking about my own life and like. i moved to where i live not long pre-lockdown#and so i'm finding myself a resident of this area for 4+ years but with weaker connections than i'd have otherwise. and that's fine!#but psychologically i feel so weird about just starting to find my place bc it's been so long even though there's a good reason#and i wonder if the cast/Hells feels the same way ie why are we only just bonding now 70 eps in and so they're hesitant#that I Waited Too Long And Now It's Awkward feeling; that I Should Be Past This By Now fallacy#which. again. i think things early on could have been done differently but that time is past you need to live in the present now.#cr tag
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