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macklives · 4 years

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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10.

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 4 years

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Also,,, uh,,,, If midoriya let out all his emotions, bc he is such a good boy, he'd feel so fucking bad and start sobbing like 'IM SORRYY I DIDNT MEAN IT A R R AJTJENFJGN' even if bakugou didn't care,,, Midoriya would definitely act like 'NOOO IM MEANT TO BE A HERO HOW COULD I SAY THIS TO SOMEONE WHO IM PROBABLY GOING TO NEED TO WORK ALONGSIDE IN THE PRO HERO FUTURE R A A A WHAT IF I GET FANS AND THEY FIND OUT AND GIVE ME HATE ALL MIGHT SAVE ME' AND IN ALL HONESTU, I FEEL LIKE ITD HURT HIM MORE

hold up imma boutta project/analyze

ok so i do believe ur right that midoriya would feel absolutely AWFUL before, during, nd after any conversation that is a confrontation w baku

i believe this for a couple reasons;;;;

1) midoriya has a hard time letting loose negative emotions that like. arent characteristic of a “good person”. like he refuses to let himself act out and/or respond in ways that may be a little mean bc he just. idk if this is canon technically but like from what i can analyze abt his character, he hinges his self-esteem on being a good person. so, if he were to ever act in a way that would Question that notion, i think he’d fall in on himself. so he doesn’t have any experience letting loose such emotions nd he’d be scared of the aftermath of doing so, not just bc of bakugou, but also what it might mean for who he is

and also 2) as fucked up nd complex as his relationship w bakugou is, he does care for him. i think its also canon that he hates him at the same time?? so hes got a lot of internal conflict over him, let alone bringing it out into the light and trying to mediate between those two sides of himself during a conversation

and then 3) he spent a long time like,,just pushing bakugou’s assholeness off?? like he knew bakugou was like a dick but he cared for him and didnt want to ruin his future w his personal beef (even though he was entitled to like u dont use ur quirk on someone @/young baku) so he just shrugged off the incidences the best he could. to confront baku abt everything tho, he would have to acknowledge everything that happened to him nd that would be so taxing emotionally he’d have to face the fact that he never even got a childhood bc of the relentless bullying not just from baku but the rest of his peers and oh GOD

so its bc of these three main reasons i think midoriya would l o a t h e to confront baku abt anything, and if he did confront him, he’d feel awful afterwards

HOWEVER he has good friends now and he knows what a good friendship is supposed to look like and also his self-esteem and self-image isnt so crippled anymore and he knows he deserves basic decency now and bakugou like.....for years never gave him that. for YEARS. and it cost midoriya many things, the least of which were having friends/a sense of importance

so like. i think for months he’d be warring with himself over “to talk or to not talk” bc,,,the three reasons but also he wants ANSWERS bakugou was so awful to him for YEARS he wants the REASONS he wants an APOLOGY he wants to be TAKEN SERIOUSLY because DAMMIT people -- teachers, peers, strangers at parks, whatever -- all simply WATCHED him being brought down OVER and OVER and OVER and he just. he needs to know he needs closure he needs. he needs.

SOOooo i think one night he’d just snap like baku does smth snarky or w/e and midoriya just completely freaks the fuck out

its a screaming match and midoriya can hardly breathe thro his tears but he NEEDS baku to know and he NEEDS answers and he just. he cant keep this contained any longer he will literally die if he tries to keep this to himself to his grave

so midoriya probably pulls a conversational curveball (probably brings up baku s*icide baiting him) and baku just freezes

while baku is frozen midoriya just fucking spills his entire guts and heart out and at the end he tries to demand an explanation but his actions have caught up with him at that point nd midoriya cant even move hes feeling so many emotions and oh god. he just yelled everything at bakugou

if midoriya could stand he’d probs run away but he cant MOVE fam his heart’s just so heavy

anyway theyre probably heard by like Everyone in the dorms so when the silence stretches on midoriya’s friends probs come in and help him to his room while baku’s just left to like digest all of that

back in mido’s room he’s probably crying just not as loudly bc “oh god im such a bad person i was supposed to keep it to myself i was supposed to be better im supposed to be a good person what good person would scream at the person theyve known the longest im so awful hes right im useless im evil im so fucking-” nd midoriya’s friends Quickly put an end to that the best they can but yknow midoriya’s just all over the place tonight

anyway some hours later baku knocks on the door nd under the izucrew’s monitoring, baku has a talk w midoriya

midoriya didnt rlly get to ask bakugou why any of their past happened, but bakugou feels like he should tell him his side of the story since midoriya told him his

nd its not,,satisfying cause bakugou’s still trying to figure out his past actions and motives himself but its something and hes actually remorseful and also he heard midoriya out and doesnt hate him so midoriya will take it

anyway once bakugou tells his side, he ends it with a *gasp* actual apology!!!! and he promises to do better

nd midoriya’s like “i cant forgive u, not yet at least, but like. thanks for this” bc hey he got his closure yknow

so theyre probs just rlly on uneven footing w each other for a couple months before midoriya asks if he wants to try as friends again nd blah blah im sure we all know the story from there

SOOOOOOOOOO basically; ur right midoriya would feel like complete shit before, during, and after the conversation(s), but i think in the end it would be beneficial for both him and bakugou’s character

cause bakugou will see how his actions hurt the person he’s known the longest firsthand, and the person who’s done nothing but admire him will snap at him for the first time, nd i think that would lead to good introspection on baku’s side

nd ofc midoriya getting to spill his entire guts would be cathartic as shit he’d feel a lot better after getting it out there instead of trying to keep it pushed down. plus, bakugou (or anyone else for that matter) wouldnt hate him for talking abt his feelings SO yeah after he accepts the situation Happened he’d feel,,a lot better,,

so like. to midoriya this whole conversation would be like a necessary evil thing, but it would help him and by extension bakugou, not hurt them

anyway thats my hot take dkjfdkjnk this became half a fic so i apologize anyway stan midoriya thanks thats all

#this episode in ive got issues and on god if i dont project them on midoriya---#OOF anyway #c makes a word #answer #bakugo katsuki #midoriya izuku

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coldandhotsoba · 6 years

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You said you weren't going to list all the evidence that EraserMic might be canon but please do???? I'm a sad little gay who needs this.

D(anon is referring to this post here)

okay im going to list what i know, and i was not lying when i say that there are some way more qualified people who can compile a list. a way better list than i could, and probably a lot more detailed and intricate.. And im doing this on my phone so no guarantee on quality. (also the fact im a very lazy person, but still felt compelled to try and answer this to the best of my lazy selfs abilities) So bear with me here.

Now, this is a small list of why i think erasermic is pretty Canon, or at the very least very very very close best friends. (this is how my headcanons came to be, and how i came up with them through what ive seen.I dont want to step on any toes here. a lot of this is from my perspective and my experience)

1. Yamada helping picking out Aizawas hero name:

lets break this down. Idk about you guys, but i wouldnt trust just anyone to pick my professional work name, that would stick with me for the rest of my life. Now, i know he’s lazy and all, but he also extremely rational.

He knows this will stick with him, and he knows picking a name is important (hence he let Midnight teach the class about the names because he knows he’s not the best person for the job.) Its illogical to accept just anything.

However, even with him being uncreative in that department, he wouldn’t accept any old name, i’m sure he’s been suggest different hero names in the past, and have probably at some point, thought up ones for himself. It’s illogical to accept a name someone suggested, unless it had some significance to him. I would immediately accept a name given by a close friend (and have in the past like nicknames) just on the pure significance that they gave it to me, even if it does sound lame at the time, but they picked it out just for me, and it makes it that much more special.

Anytime the name Eraserhead, is heard or used, he’d always be reminded of who gave him the name, a constant reminder of said person. You wouldn’t want to be reminded of someone that holds no significance in your life, every time your hero name is used.

2. The reporter scene

now, this is based off of what @kipisz said here, and totally forgot it happened and its such a strong contender.

Now, the scene does goes with both of them holding off the reporters. Mic leans over and says “They’re illegal trespassers you know. You can call them villains. You think we can beat ‘em up?” which AIzawa promptly replies “Don’t do it Mic,Theyll write up a bunch of half-truths about you. Let’s wait for the police.”

Now we all know how much Aizawa loathes the media, but Yamada pretty much thrives on media and his public out look, not just as a hero but also as a radio star. Aizawa knows how much the voice hero relies on it, and made a point to make sure they handle the reporters as well as they can.

Now, not only are they tag teaming handling the reporters, where someone else with a better presence may have handled it. Like literally any other teacher could have handled it alone better than they could have separately. I’m sure cementoss would have done a great job at it. Now, this also leaves ‘where were the other teachers?” probably too busy to handle it, and/or both heros volunteered to make sure all the students made it into the school okay. OR the were already inside before the reporters showed up

Alone it would have probably been an disaster, Aizawa being his underground hero self, and Mic was ready to thrown down with the reporters, but was only stopped by Aizawa. But they handled it together well, each of them balancing each other out. (this is probably more of a point towards their dynamic than anything else)

3.USJ

This one is brief, but present mic standing in front of an injured eraserhead (while shoji is holding him) using his quirk on the incoming villains. Coincidence that he was the one to defend them and not any of the other teachers? i think not.

4. Sports Festival

We already established that Eraser likes to be on the down low, but, he ‘decides’ (we all know he was probably forced or he just caved in after a bunch of badgering) to do announcements to an extremely public event,shown on every screen in Japan, with an extremely well known Hero. Even with him being unrecognizable,(not just including being bandaged up) its still a giant risk involved in hosting it. He’s not well known as an underground hero, but through out the announcement his hero name is used, and with a name like Eraserhead, its not too hard to figure out he can Erase quirks, (or at least something, but quiks would be the only thing i can think of that would work for hero work)

and then mic probably did it,(my head canons on this) because

1, wanted to do it with his bf (u can translate this as boy friend or best friend, take it as you will)

2. we all know that if eraser wasnt up there, he’d be in on the action while still wrapped up like a mummy. And he would be in the middle of all the different quirks being used, especially by year 1 students who dont have the best control/have complete control over their quirks. So mic drags him up there to get him out of the way

4. Spending his day off with Mic

now look at this post made by Deafmic, when i saw the manga of it, i never truly processed it, just more of “awh they hanging out together” and didnt think any deeper than that.

But they are completely right. Fishing with a loud person? not a good idea. FIshing with a person who’s quirk makes them louder than everyone else? Super bad idea.

Most people go fishing to relax, find some peace and quiet.But why would you bring the loudest person in existence to go fishing with you? To spend some quality time with them, and you dont mind the tranquility of fishing being completely destroyed. Just so you can hang out with said person, outside of work.

And in Mics perspective, he has 3 jobs, being a hero, teacher, and a radio host, he probably rarely has any free time to spare, but he spent it fishing hanging out with AIzawa

So im going to stop there, and this turned out a lot longer than i thought it would be, so apologize.

Also apologies for any typos ive made, i kinda rushed this bc i felt bad having this in my ask box for so long.

#ask #head canon #erasermic #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #bnha #boku no hero academia #headcanon #mine #long post #Sorry #author is sorry #thanks for sending this!

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radicalseabies · 7 years

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Why do people like Bakugou? I've not finished the series yet, but does he get a redemption arc or mellow out or something later on? Idk I'd like to know why the guy who told Deku to kill himself and bullied him and others has so much love.

y’know, the mangaka himself, horikoshi, once said in an interview he’s actually surprised at how much people ended up loving bakugou, because he was written to be such a horrible, unlikable person. and well, i mean, he is!! but imo, unlikable people can make for some of the most interesting characters in fiction.

first things first, bakugou is a very problematic individual, there’s simply no denying that. he’s loud, obnoxious, aggressive, extremely rude, and yes, he once even told deku to kill himself, which is a truly despicable thing to do. but something that’s very important to understand about all this is that he’s actually very rarely, if ever, praised or rewarded for this disgusting behaviour. his rude outbursts are, more often than not, played for laughs at his expense, his callous actions have cost him on numerous occasions (and it’s happening more as the story progresses), and almost nobody in the class likes him as a person. everybody thinks he’s horrible and unpleasant to be around, and his old friends from middle-school are even shown calling him out shortly after telling deku to kill himself, saying that he went overboard. (as well as deku remarking to himself that it was a very stupid and awful thing to say).

but in spite of all his terrible, negative traits, this boy is also really strong, and smart as hell. he’s got the 3rd highest grades in the whole class, meaning he’s serious about his school work, and he’s unshakably committed to his goal of becoming the strongest hero, and he’s got the strength, fighting skill, and drive to back it all up. he’s constantly trying his absolute best, and while his UA classmates all think he’s a complete asshole, they DO respect his strength, his keen intellect, his skill for tactics and battle, his passion for victory, and it actually inspires them to get them fired up, wanting to do the best that they can do as well, whether they like him as a person or not.

in answer to your question, i think one of the biggest factors playing into the fans love of his character is his backstory. he doesn’t have your typical tragic backstory that an angry, aggressive character of his archetype usually has. there’s no dark, traumatic past. no villains killed his family or anything like that.

basically, bakugou is mentally ill.

katsuki bakugou was a gifted child who was told constantly from a young age that his quirk was amazing, that he was amazing, and he grew up believing it, believing he was better than others, and it warped him. he grew into a self obsessed, cruel, obnoxious child with a superiority complex, believing himself to be the best and that everyone else around him was just trash. his ego, so twistedly convinced of his own ability and superiority, he detested the idea of ever needing help from anybody, which fed strongly into his hatred and, yes, fear of deku, the only person in his life who ever treated him differently.

“you looked like you were asking for help”

and then he eventually enrolled at UA, and the little world he’d been living in finally came crashing down around him as he was sucker punched with the reality that this whole time he was really just a big fish in a small pond, and his superiority complex began to violently twist into an extreme inferiority complex. the rug had been pulled out from his feet and he was now surrounded by people who were just as capable as him, if not more so, and who, rather than worshipping him as the coolest kid with the coolest quirk, actually thought he was a kind of a douche.

not to mention deku, who he believed to be quirkless and the one person he hated the most, suddenly had a powerful quirk as well, and was now able to compete with and even surpass him in ways he never imagined. had deku been playing him for a fool this whole time??

all this clashed very harshly with everything he had come to believe in so strongly, and, understandably, caused him a lot of extreme confusion, anxiety, resentment, and most notably… Anger. his whole life has turned upside down and he has no idea how to handle it. so, being the person he is, the person his life up until this point had nurtured him into becoming, his natural instinct is now to blindly act out very… (excuse the pun)… Explosively.

he figuratively (and sometimes literally) blasts away anything and everything that doesnt agree with his perceived image of how things should be. he’s spent his whole life believing he was the best so FUCK IT, now he’s GOING TO BE THE GOD DAMN BEST!! his classmates dont like him/make fun of him/think he’s a dickhead?? WHATEVER, SHUT UP YOU DAMN NERDS!! I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU ANYWAY!! deku, the useless, annoying kid from his childhood is now standing in the way of his goal of being number one?? DEKU YOU DAMN NERD, I WILL DESTROY YOU!!

but… what has this aggressive and anti-social attitude actually achieved for him so far?? honestly, very little… in fact, this behaviour has been doing him a lot more harm than good in the long run, not just professionally, but for his own safety, and his mental health too. (i’d absolutely go into a lot more detail here but you mentioned you’re not up to date so i don’t want to spoil too much)

some people might say this all just sounds like an spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum, and i guess on some level, that’s probably true. but in my opinion, the bottom line is it’s not his fault. taking something all might says about him in chapter 121 and expanding on it slightly, i believe bakugou ultimately ended up the way he did through the failure of his upbringing. the failure of the adults in his life. if he hadnt been told so continuously from a young age that he was amazing, and then left unchecked for so long, if maybe people were more firm with him about his behaviour from a young age, perhaps he may not have grown into such an angry, messed up person.

but in spite of all of this, as i mentioned earlier, this boy ain’t dumb. he’s smart as hell. it’s taking him a long time to realise it, blinded as he is by all his confusing emotions, and it’s taking him a long time to work through his issues and do anything about it, but he is changing. slowly. slowly, but believably.

bakugou, in my personal opinion, is one of the most interestingly written characters in the series, and it’s been very fascinating and rewarding to watch his gradual development over the course of the story so far. he certainly hasnt done a 180 or anything, he’s still a very loud and very angry boy, but he’s slowly beginning to change in a number of subtle, nuanced ways. bakugou now is remarkably different than bakugou as you see him in chapter 1.

one last thing to consider, is how relatively early we are in the story compared to the grand scheme of things. i believe i heard somewhere that horikoshi once said a while back that the story was roughly 20% done, which lead people to project the manga would run for approximately 500+ chapters, at least, and we’re only at 146 now at the time of this writing.

bakugou is the 2nd most important character in the story after deku, the protagonist. so much of their development is built around each other, and it wouldnt make sense, narratively or realistically, for a character like bakugou, the way he is and his overall importance to both the story and dekus own development, to change too much in too short amount of time. a character arc like bakugou’s is one that will be played out slowly, but surely, and most importantly, satisfyingly. he will change. little by little. he is changing. he has changed already, and he will continue to change.

sorry this got really long, i just really like bakugou. i understand where some people are coming from when they say they don’t like him. that’s completely fair, liking a character is completely subjective, especially a character as prickly as bakugou is. but i just hope those people know he’s more than what he seems.

#anonymous #ask seabies #bnha #katsuki bakugou #boku no hero academia #long post

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saltynemo · 7 years

Text

Snuck Out

WHATADO Everybody its your boi Nemo back at it again with another fanfiction. I had an amazing sex dream about the one and only, Tyler Joseph, and I decided to make a fanfiction about it, since I haven't wrote about Tyler in a long time. Plus, I got a request to do an ‘Anything Tyler’, so its a win win.

Summery: Tyler convinces Y/n to sneak into a club together and then Tyler gets jealous/angry at her for her acts. Y/n needs to be reminded who she belongs to

Type: Smut

Warnings: Cursing, Rough sexual content, alcohol reference, under age drinking, clubbing (going to a club), little daddy/dollface/doll kink, slight choking, over stimulation, getting caught, very little degradation ,Idk idk

Requested?: Yee

Word Count: 6.5k (6,536 words)

So without further a do, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT:

Ever since I introduced my mother to Tyler Joseph, she has insisted on me stop hanging out with him. "He is a bad influence" She states. To be honest, I have learned a lot of ways to make a fake ID with him, so I can see her point of view. Hes a bad boy and I dig that. Plus, just because my mom tells me not to chill with him, doesnt mean im going to listen to her.

Since I cant have Tyler around when my moms at home with me, me and him have our special little dates together. We usually sneak out together at 12 am, and go have fun. The worst action we have done together is sneak into a club thats about a block away from my house. And thats just what were going to do right now...

I take a swig from a Red Bull by my side, feeling the caffeine rush through my body. I sense a buzz next to me and I nearly jump out of my bed from excitement. Tonight is, once again, me and Tyler's night out together. I check my notifications and see he just texted me:

Tyler :P- Hey Y/n/n! Im across the street from your house Y/n- Are you crazy?! My mom is..asleep. Anyway, what are you doing out there? I usually walk to your house. Tyler :P- I thought a change of plan would be nice ;) Maybe we can sneak into the club again, like we did a while ago. Y/n- Hunny, last time we did that, they nearly called the cops. Are you sure you wanna take that risk again? What if they ask for an ID? Tyler :P- Trust me, they wont. This town is fuckin stupid. Come on, we'll have fun :) Y/n- I dont know about this..I mean im all up for danger, but this is kind of risky. Tyler :P- Oh come on..for me? :( Y/n- Oh okay! Fine. Ill be out in a minute

I get up from my bed and check my window, moving the blinds aside. And sure enough, I see Tyler; sitting down on the curb with his phone. I giggle and stroll to my walk-in-closet, looking for some clothing that could look like im in my 20's-which im not.

I picked out a red Thrasher sweater that cut off to my belly button, along with some jean short shorts. I slipped them on and check myself out in the mirror, noticing something was missing. I looked closer to my face, relizing if I was going to be in a club, I would need some slutty make-up.

I slipped into the bathroom, slowly closing the door so it wouldnt creak. I open my make-up kit, thinking of something that could look nice, but not too slutty. Would some red lipstick and smokey eyeshadow count? I shrug, grabbing the cosmetics needed. I apply the Ruby Luiquid to my lips, immitating a kiss to see if the magic worked. Of course, it did. I giggle, setting down my lipstick and focusing on my eyes. I dont think my eyeshadow is needed..I look pretty damn cute.

I sneak out of the bathroom, peaking behind my mother's cracked bedroom door. I large snore is erupting from the corner of the room. I roll my eyes, bouncing back to my room. I grab my phone and slip it into my back pocket.

I look in my mirror, checking myself out before I go. My height looks horribly small..I think they could spot that im not at least 21 years old quickly. Fuck it, Im definitely not wearing heels tonight. I slip on my usual red socks and black vans and grabbed some cash. I paused for a little bit, noticing my mother's purse was in my room. I look back at my door way, glancing to see if the ogre has awaken. I quicky, but quietly, grab my mom's wallet, searching for her card. Yes! Its here! Hasnt my mother learned yet? I slip it into my jean pocket and place the wallet back into the purse.

I sneak down the hallway, hoping that the hard wooden floor wouldnt creak at a sudden movement. I slowly open the front door, looking outside. I see Tyler, hoodie up and still on his phone. I slip out and close the door, locking it behind me. I jog to him, smiling at how cute he looked. He picked up his head and smiled, "Oh, Hey! Took you long enough" I chuckled, stopping right in front of him. He paused, scanning my face. "Whats with the make-up?" He asks, moving hair out of my features. I roll my eyes, "Were going to a club, Ty. There will be a ton load of sluts there" I inform, giggling. "Gotta blend in" I add, jazzing my hands up. We both share a laugh and start to move down the street.

"Oh and by the way, I brought my mom's card" I say, pulling it out of my pocket and showing it to him. His eyes widened, but flashed a small smile, "You know the pin number..?" He asks, grabbing it from me and scanning it. I smirk, "And her signature" I add, taking it back from him and stuffing the rectangle back into my pocket. "I've taught you see well" He chuckles, putting me into a choke hold and ruffling my hair. I grip his forearm with both hands, giggling as I try to make him release me. We both laugh, him finally letting me go.

We went back to walking, a little too quiet for my liking. "So, did you bring any cash?" I ask, trying to kick the silence away. "I brought $40 of my mom's money" He says, feeling his back pocket to make sure its still there. "Our moms havent learned to hide their money" I say, looking over to him. He smiles, his dimples engraving in his skin.

*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Patrick's Fedora*

We turn a corner, the red Club lights blurry in our vision. We stop for a minute, eyeing out our location. "So, how do I look?" I ask, turning my body so its facing Tyler. "Do I look at least 21 years old?" Tyler just stares at me, scanning up and down my torso and legs. "Um- *cough* yea, deffinetly. You look amazing" He says, looking back up to my eyes. I smile, blushing like crazy, "You look older than 18-let me just say that" I giggle, playfully poking his chest. He rolls his eyes, "Come on, lets do this." We start walking towards the entrance, holding hands to make our disguise look believable.

Once we reached the line, we eyeballed the Security Guard; crossed arms and black T-Shirt that was obviously too tight. I looked at Tyler, giving him a worried expression. "Hey, they wont say anything" He whispers to me. "We have done this before, Y/n" I roll my eyes, smiling.

We stepped in front of the guard, looking up to the 6 foot tall man. He glared at us, squinting his eyes and looking at us closley. "You have an ID?" He asks, his voice rusty and cracked. I gulped, pretending to search my pockets for it. "Hey! Is that guy ok?!" Tyler suddenly shouted, pointing to a man laying on the ground; beer bottle in one hand and drooling. Must have past out. The Guard imediatly rushed over to him, yelling 'Hey, sir! Are you alright!?'. Tyler grabbed my hand, quickly walking into the club. Men and Woman were shouting 'Those kids went inside!' or just plain pointing to us. Tyler's grip on my hand tightened as we were greeted with blaring music, red and white flashing lights, and drunk sweaty men & woman.

He looked back at me, smirking as we started to blend in with the dancing crowd. He turned around and held both of my hands, leading me to the middle. I laughed, him letting me go. We started dancing, trying to fit with the crowd around us.

The lights and crowd around us were a blurr. Tyler and I were only focused on eachother, and also the ground to make sure we dont trip on eachother's feet. A couple of times, we had to move to a new location cause the Guard was looking for us. I guess thats what you get for sneaking into a club.

Suddenly, Tyler grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the dancing people. I quirked my eyebrow. Whats his plan this time? Get me drunk? He led me to the bar, finally letting go of my hand and looking at me. "Ok, whats your plan?" I ask, smiling since I was so confused. He smirks, at me, turning around and talking to the bar tender. I couldnt hear what he was saying, due to the noise in the club, but I knew it was evil. I heard him say the word 'hardest', and I knew right then and there what he was looking for.

Tyler payed the bar tender and turned around with a glass in his hand. I stared at the bubbling luiquid for a while, contemplating on what it was. I guess I was right..he is gonna get me drunk. "Hey Y/n" He said, waving the drink around slowly to snap me out of my daze. I give him a sarcastic look, "I dont wanna get drunk tonight" Tyler rolls his eyes, not wanting that answer. Suddenly, he grabs my waist, pulling me close to him. I lay my head back, giggling, "Joseph, what has gotten into y-". He puts the drink to my lips, making me open them and take in the alcohol. It tasted sweet, strong, sour, pretty much all of the flavors I could think of, I was tasting.

He sat me back up and took the drink away from my lips. "Tyler, what was that?" I ask, whiping them. He giggles, "Oh, it was nothing. Just the strongest drink they had on the menu" He put the glass down on the bar table. I raise my eyebrows at him, "Joseph, Im a light-weight. That drinks' gonna get me hammered" I say, lightly pushing him. "Thats the point" He chuckles, adding a wink. Damnit, why did I agree to go to a club with him? I already felt the alcohol rush through my veins, brushing up againts every cell. "Come on, Y/n/n. Lets get back on the dance floor" He cheers, grabbing my hand and leading me back into the crowd.

*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Wet Ones (keeping things wet since 1988)*

I was suprised that I didnt get as drunk as Tyler intended to. In fact, I was pretty sober enough to solve a math equation. Funny how Tyler wanted me to get drunk, and he was the one who got intoxicated.

We were grooving next to a barricade that blocked off a private room. I held my phone up over my head as Tyler stood behind me. I started recording us dancing, just to save the memory. I swayed my hips to the beat, giggling at how goofy I was. I held the phone at the tip of my fingers, trying to get him and I in one shot. Accidently, I dropped it behind the barricaded. I groaned bending over the barricade. I was so close to reaching it, but my arm wasnt long enough. I, stupidly, went farther over the barricade, finally reaching my phone. Suddenly, I felt hands on my hips, pulling me back. I began to squirm, trying to make the hands release me, but I only turn around to see Tyler. He had a look of stone as an expression. He almost looked...mad?

He let go of my hips, suddenly grabbing my hand. He started making his way out of the club, dragging me towards the exit. "Tyler? What is it?" I ask, trying free my hand, but his grip only gets tighter. What has gotten into him? We storm out of the club, his face still stone cold.

The rest of our little walk was a blurr. No talking, just silence and some of the crickets chirping around us. It was an awkward silence, him still holding my wrist, but not as tightly as before, and his face as serious as before. Was it something I did? What if he just drops me home and I never speak to him again? What did I do to diserve this? A million of questions and concerns filled my mind, making my heart beat sprint faster.

Before I knew it, I was at Tyler's house, in his room, on his bed. He paced around the room, staring at the posters around the area. The silence was unbarable. I hid my face in my palms, thinking of what to say to him or what to do. I quickly stand up from the bed, looking over to him; he looked back. "Tyler, I- Tell me whats wrong? Was it something I did? What-" I start to say, but was cut off by a kiss.

I was suprised at first, being taken off cause the gesture was so out of place, but after a couple seconds, I kissed back. The make out was over all rough; he grabbed the sides of my head, pulling us deeper into kiss. I felt him push forward, making me back up untill I hit the wall. He moved his hands down the the sides of my neck, holding it gently. His thumb brushed across an area that made me jump a little. I felt him smirk againts my lips, moving his mouth down from mine, to my jawline. He nibbled and sucked on my jaw. I silently moaned, placing my hand on his shoulder. I bit my lip, trying to quiet myself down so I wasnt too loud.

"Y/n, you have no idea how long I have wanted this" He huffed againts my jaw, putting my skin between his teeth. He brough his head back up, locking his eyes with mine. "Your so beautiful, baby" He groans, kissing me roughly. I moaned into the kiss, trying to match his movements. "The way you...brushed your perfect...little ass againts me" He whispers between kisses. He brough his hand up and cupped my ear, rubbing my lobe gently. "And I..." He groaned. "Do not share" He put his index finger againts my lip. I faintly smirked, bringing out my tounge and licking the skin. Tyler's eyes fluttered closed, biting his lip. "Your such a tease, Y/n" He says through gritted teeth.

He pulled out his finger, wiping it clean on his shirt. I giggled softly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. He looked at me with the same cold expression he had before, making a chill run up and down my back. He stepped closer to me, even though we were already face to face. He slid his hands around my waste; anywhere and everywhere he touched made a trail of warmth. I eyeballed his hand, which was making its way up my cut off sweater. I held my hands behind my back, holding my hand with the other. I look up to his beautifle face, admiring it. He smirks, looking up to me and locking eyes. I couldnt take it anymore. I instantly cupped his face with my hands, kissing him. I needed more of him, God he was perfect...

We went back in the past; him bringing his hand up and cupping it around my neck, brushing his thumb across the same area that made me jump. Tyler smirked againts my lips, slowly inching his way down to my jawline, like before. He didnt stay at my jawbone for long, because before I knew it, he was going down on my neck, sucking the skin and nibbling on it. I let out a groan, biting my lip and trying to keep myself quiet. "My parents arnt home....be as loud as you want, babygirl" He said between bites and kisses againts my neck, suddenly finding my sweet spot with a pinch. I let out a moan, following his information. He snickerd againts my neck, sucking the spot harder, making a hickey form. I gently hold on to his head, not wanting him to stop.

Once he was satisfied with the small purple bruise on my neck, he departured from my neck with a slight pop. He locks a gaze with me, his eyes reading lust. We bothed giggled. He grabbed my waist, ordering my to jump. I do as told, wrapping my legs around his waste and arms around his neck. I look down at him, rubbing my nose againts his. He smiles his cute smile, flashing his teeth. While he started walking towards the bed, I took matters into my own hands and took off my crop top. He tossed me onto the bed, watching me bounce up and down the springs. He didnt hesitate to jump onto to my right away, laying over me and continuing out make out session.

Tyler tangled his hands in my hair as I did the same to him, gripping the sides of his hips with my legs as he began to slowly grind on me. He reattached his lips to mine, kissing with force. He slid his tongue into my mouth without permission, making me relize he liked his dominance. Teasingly, I bit his tongue gently, just to see his reaction. He smiled againts my lips, "Better watch it, doll." Oh, Damn. That name gave me chills up and down my back. He must have noticed my goosebumps, because he smirked and started rubbing my prickled arm gently. "You like that name, dont you doll" I bit my lip, nodding intensly to try to shake away another chill. He chuckled darkly, returning his attention back to lips, then neck.

He inched his way down to my jawline, sucking and nibbling on the skin. I let out a breath, feeling the tension slip away. Damn, hes good at this. "Do me a favor and take this shirt off before I rip it off" He orders, feeling the material of my cut off sweater. "Its actually a crop top, but ok" I reply with a bitchy attitude, smirking as I take off my crop. "I said watch it, doll. I dont wanna gag you now" He warned, suddenly grabbing my chin and jerked it so I was facing him. "You got it?" He asks, using his tiny thumb (sorry not sorry) to carress my bottom lip. I nod slowly, gulping down the lump in my throat. "Answer me verbally" He barks, holding my chin tighter. "Yes, daddy" I answer, smirking internally. I can tell he is taken back by this, due to the squint in his eyes. "What did you say?" He asks, smiling a little. "Yes, daddy" I repeat, biting down on his thumb a little. "Damn, this is gonna be fun" He says, removing his hand from my chin and pushing me back down on the bed.

He continues his kissing trails, down from my lower neck, to my belly button, not missing a beat or even hesitating. I arch my back a little, letting my hands roam blindly behind me, starting to try and unhook my bra. I reach my goal, throwing my black lace bra aside. He glances at the thrown peice of clothing, only to put his attention to me. "Jeez, your perfect" He says, biting his lip as he reaches hands out forward to touch my breasts. One of his fingers trace my nipple, making it harden quickly and I gasp. He snickers darkly, finally kneading both of my breasts gently. I let out a breath of relazation as Tyler kneads both of my tits, letting my eyes flutter closed. Suddenly, I feel a wetness on my left one, making me relize he has attached his mouth to it. I let out a soft moan, feeling him nibble and suck on the sensitive skin. With the other hand on my right breast, he used his thumb to circle over the nipple, making it harder than I thought it could ever be. I groan in fustration. Tyler gotta take his old sweet time, dont he?

He finally left my chest, looking over my breasts to see his work. I look down, noticing not one, but several bruises scattered all over the area. I could see the proudness in his eyes, his lips spreading with satistfactory. I giggled at him, moving hair away from my face. He pushes me on the chest, making me lay back down. I do as told, making sure im comfortable, since I know I wont be leaving this position anytime soon.

He starts off where he left off; circling kisses around my belly button to tease me. I hum, licking my lips then biting them. He finally answered my prayers, and continued his trail of kisses downward, heading towards my clothed pelvis. I wiggled slightly, letting him know I was getting sick of his teasing. He smirked, "Patience, doll" He said, toying with the edge of my shorts. I groaned in fustration, and somewhat pleasure. The feeling of Tyler Joseph touching me this way felt almost, illegal, which turned me on more. He was an illegal boy.

He started tugging down my jeans, trying to slide them off. I lifted my hips upward, helping him take them off. He reached his goal and threw the shorts to Narnia. "The grand prize" He mutters, poking at my entrance through my panties. I giggle, moaning slightly at the feeling.

He teases my clothed access point with his middle finger. "Are you gonna be all nice and wet for me, doll?" He asks, glancing up to me. If he keeps on playing with this Doll kink I have, I might just cum at his words. Suddenly, slides a finger in between my folds, slightly moving my panties out of the way. We both gasp; him surprised of how wet I am and me incredibly horny. "D-drenched" He stuttered, chuckling darkly as he began to slowly curl them. I tangle my hands in my hair, my mouth wide open as I take in a deep breath. Letting out a moan, I scrunch my face up. I havent felt like this in a long time, I forgot what it was like to have someone else's fingers in me!

He continued to hook his middle didget, untill I was panting and moaning his name. "Oh my God, Daddy, shit!" I practically scream, removing my hands from my hair and gripping the sheets. I could see the smirk poking out of his mouth, curling his finger more. I bit my lip and gripped the sheets harder untill my knuckles were white, the skin on my lips breaking away from my teeth, and my eyes squinting shut. I didnt want to be too loud, thinking the neighbors would come over and ruin the fun. "I dont hear you crying out for me, doll. I know you got it in you" He suddenly, some how, thrusts his finger deeper, making me moan out his nickname. Tyler must have gotten an idea, because he uncurled his finger, and started to thrust his middle digit in and out at a moderate pace. I loosened the grip I had on the sheets, still feeling pleasurable, but somewhat relaxed.

He suddenly took out his finger, leaving me cold. He leaned over me, ordering me to open my mouth. I obeyed, opening it wide. He stuck his wet finger into my mouth, almost all the way down to my throat. I twirl my tongue around it, humming. His eyes fluttered shut, him mouthing the word 'Fuck'. "Damn, I love you, dollface" He said, replacing his digit with his mouth. He was rough and needy in the kiss; my own were probably hungry and begging.

He broke away from the kiss, kneeling back down in front of me. He toyed with the stretchy part of my panties, twisting and feeling the lacey material. I hummed, "Please", barley above a whisper. "Please what?" He asked sharply, scratching my hip bone as he continued to fondle with my underwear. I whimpered, "Please daddy" He smirks at how much control he has over me. Finally, he begins to slide my lingerie down, taking his good old sweet time. I lift my hips slightly as the material skates across my hips, exposing my woman hood. I close my legs as I feel the mixture of Tyler's breathing, and the rush of cold air. Trying to regain the moment, I use my toe to point to where he should throw my lingerie. He snickers, throwing it to where I pointed. "Dont be shy, love" He says in a relaxing tone, resting his hands on my knees. I nodded, letting him spread my legs apart. He let my legs fall to my sides, me finally relaxing, knowing Tyler wont judge. "How can you be shy when you have such a beautiful pussy?" He says, gently rubbing his hand over the wetness thats in my thighs. I choke out a quiet moan, hanging my head back.

Suddenly, he slides 2 fingers in, making me gasp and moan in surprise. It could have been an accident from how wet I was. Either way, he started thrusting his fingers in and out slowly, my body shriveled from pleasure. I heard the sloshiness sound between my thighs as he picked up the pace, him whispering and praising me for how good and obediant I was. I felt the pooling in my stomach increase in intensity as he continued to thrust his fingers in and out. "Oh my God, Fucking hell-Im so close!" I moan out, gripping the sheets roughly. Tyler smirks, picking up his other hand and placing it on my clit, rubbing it hard. I scrunch my face up, preparing for my orgasm.

As time progresses and his fingers continue, I was a moaning mess; hair in my face, lipstick smudged from Tyler's passionate kisses, and just a something you would expect a girl to look like in a porno. He took his fingers off my clit, putting them to his side. Just as I was about to cum, his digits made a 'come hither' motion inside me, making me lose myself and fall over the edge. I fell hard, my body quaking with pleasure as Tyler's fingers didnt slow down. It was like I was falling from the sky, and I wasnt even close to the ground. The corners of my eyes faded to a foggy eroma as I scrunch my eyes and let out the biggest pornographic moan I could make.

I came down from my high, hitting the ground as he pulled out his fingers. Unexpectantly, he brought his tongue down on my folds, giving it a long and slow lick, adding overstimulation. I moaned, what almost seemed like a cry, in pleasure, gripping the sheets for some support. He tried to stay away from my clit, knowing I was already overstimulated enough. I could tell Tyler enjoyed my juices, from the noise he created, vibrating againts my womanhood; making me moan louder. He gave one last lick, making sure to get my clit before lifting his head up. He ran a finger up my folds, collecting the wetness onto his finger. I whimpered, biting my lip. He fit his digit into his mouth, letting his eyes flutter close at the taste. He groaned, taking out his finger with a pop, "You taste amazing-almost like peaches covered in honey" He informed, leaning over me. I giggled as he placed his red, swollen lips onto mine. Letting him gain entrance into my mouth, I tasted myself on his tongue, making the experience even more thrilling.

He pulled away, ordering me to sit on the edge of the bed. I do as told, crawling over to the edge as I watch his sit down on the bed, kicking his shoes off. He layed againts the frame of crib as he started to unbuckle his belt. I shoo his hand away, taking matters into my own palms. He smiled, putting his hands down on his sides. Once I figured out how to unbuckle his sash, I start tugging them down, Tyler lifting his hips up to help me. I threw them to WhoVille blindly, staring at the growing bulge that is still clothed; but not for long.

I tease the erection with my hand, squeezing and feeling it up and down. He groaned in pleasure, tilting his head back so it hit the wall. I smirked up to him, snaking a hand into his boxers and feeling his cock. I recieved a gasp from him, probably cause my hands were a little warm, but still gave him pleasure. With my other hand, I slid down his briefs with no trouble, throwing them somewhere in the room. I took my hand off of his shaft and spat on it, soon returning my palm to it. I began to slowly pump it, recieving low groans and moans. I really want to tease him...but would he approve? Fuck it, im gonna do it. I use my index finger to gently rub the slit of hit cock, moving it downward from the shaft to the end. "Stop teasing me doll, you wont like the outcome" He growls, biting his lip. I giggle, staring at the beads of pre cum oozing out of the slit.

I lifted my head up so it was in birds eye view of his dick. Suddenly, I felt a hand snake through my hair, pulling it out of my face. I glance up and smile as I began to slowly ease my head down on to the bell like tip. I swirled my tongue around the point of it, using my other hand to pump what I didnt have in my mouth. Tyler groaned in satisfactory, letting his eyes close. "I said, stop teasing" He ordered, putting pressure on the back of my head. I slowly slid my mouth down his shaft, him still pushing my head down. I hallowed my cheeks and slacked my jaw, giving him full power of my mouth. His grip on my hair tightens as he begins to bob my head up and down, the wetness of my mouth sloshing with each bob. He gives an 'Ah Fuck', paired with a strangled groan; by far the best noise I heard come out of his swollen mouth.

After a couple of bobs, I figured he wanted to take matters into his own hands, because he starting thrusting his hips up; or in other words, fucking my mouth. A couple of times, I felt his tip rub the back of my throat, causing me to gag. I moaned around his cock, blinking away tears. "Im almost finished with you doll, just a little bit longer" He explained, his thrusts growing faster and harsher. I nodded, gripping the bed sheets to prepare. I felt his cock twitch in my throat, expecting him to be pushed over the edge; but I thought wrong. He instantly stopped, pulling me off of his throbbing cock with a pop. I looked at him with confusion, rubbing my eyes that were filled with tears, "But you didnt cum yet" I said, making it almost sound like a question. He nodded, "Waiting is the best part. And Id rather cum in that sweet little pussy of yours anyway" He says, adding a wink. I blush intensly, moving my face away from his crotch.

Tyler orders me to take is place, laying my head on the pillows. I do as told, watching him remove his shirt and socks. Once he was out of the way, I sit back, placing my head on a pillow and putting one in the small of my back. He climbed on top of me, letting me take a moment to scan his torso; Tan chest, ink painted into his skin, and the skinny, but muscular, torso of his. He took a grip onto his shaft, teasing my folds with it, making sure it was wet enough. I let out a gasp, moaning slightly. "Are you ready, doll?" He asks, laying his face down in the crew of my neck. "Y-yes" I choke out, biting my lip in anticipation. Immediatly, he thrusted his cock into my enterance, letting out a groan. I nearly drew blood from my lip I was biting so hard. I didnt know he was that big. I sucked his dick, how did I not know?! I whimpered, then moaning; I have never felt so full in my life. I saw Tyler struggling over me, fighting the urge to move. I turned my head, facing over to his ear, "Destroy me" I whispered, smirking internally. His control breaks, he begins to slam into me rapidly, building an incredible rythem that took away my breath. The muscles in his arms stand out above me, holding himself over me, angling each thrust to hit that one spot inside of me that brought me to life earlier.

"Holy, T-tyler!" I scream, wrapping my arms around him, trying to find support for the massive sex we were having. Suddenly, he grabbed the base of my throat, pressing down hard. "What did you say?" He asks harshly, making his thrusts deeper and harder. I grab his wrist, moving it up so it held at the mid of my throat. He smirked, finding a new kink I had. Tyler Joseph holding my throat like this was almost illegal, like taboo; that turned me on more. He answered my wishes, squeezing the middle tighter. "D-daddy!" I corrected in a strangled moan, throwing my head back in pleasure. He was fucking me with such force that the bed frame knocked againts the wall with each thrust. Once again, I felt the pooling in my stomach stirr up. I clenched around him, letting out a pornographic moan. "Close already doll? Pathetic" He spat, saliva sprayed onto my chest, dripping down over my breasts. "Im-oh my God, Im so close!" I scream. He smirked, suddenly slowing down his thrusts. I let out a sigh, feeling relaxed.

He threw the pillow that was under my back to the side, replacing it with his hands. He picked me up, his cock sliding out of me with a pop. He picked me up as I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me to a local wall, nearly slamming me againts it. He placed his forarm over my throat, holding me inplace againts the wall. "Get ready to start screaming" He simply said, sliding back into me. I let out a groan, my wishes being fuffiled with his raging cock. He instantly started fucking me againts the wall. This position was amazing, he was able to get all the places he couldnt have gotten before. My eyes squeezed shut at the pleasure raking through my body; it hurt so much, but damn I needed this from Tyler Robert Joseph. "I-Im gonna cum, oh fucking HELL!" I scream, seeing black spots appear infront of me as I open my eyes. "Im not fucking done with you just yet, hold it in" He barks, some how fucking me faster. I moaned as I hit my head againts the wall, pleasure struckin. I held onto my orgasm, trying not to let it slip out of my clutch, but with the force Tyler was fucking me at, and the moans and groans coming from his mouth let me loose it.

I didnt have time to warn him that I was about to cum, it just happened. I rolled my eyes back into my head as I clenched around his cock. I moan in pure ecstasy as I cum around his throbbing shaft, closing my eyes tightly. "Since you like to cum without my permission, your gonna c-cum again" He spat, snaking a hand between us and rubbing my clit. I gasped, letting out the loudest pornagraphic moan I could let out. I grabbed the wrist that was rubbing my clit, scrunching my face up and panting histeracally. He smirked and started rubbing faster anyway. I used my other hand to try and push him away; the pleasure was over whelming my body. "Ah ah no you dont" He says, making his forearm push harder on my throat. I lost my oxygen, losing my voice and my energy, closing my eyes. "D-daddy, F-fu-cking he-ll!" I choke out, whimpering. "Hold on, im almost there" He warns, letting his mouth gape open. "Look at me, dollface" He says, removing his hand from my clit and cupping it to my chin. "Let me see those pretty eyes" He says, biting his lip. I open my eyes, staring into his own. They where dialated, the cocoa color ablaze. He panted out a moan, mouth gaping. "Oh-oh, fucking-" He choked out as he spilled into me. His cock twitched and throbbed, triggering my 3rd orgasm. I milked his cock with my convulsing walls, both of us pleasure struckin and talking like we were in a pornographic film. Curses and moans and groans fell from both of our mouths as we rode out our orgasms till we were both too sensitive to continue on.

Tyler leaned his forehead against mine, both of us still out of breath. We shared a laugh at how shook we were. "I cant move" I whisper out, my voice a little horse from my screaming and moaning earlier. "I dont want to move" I add, letting out a sigh. "Me either, Y/n" He says, his voice deep. "I could keep you like this all day and night and not get sick of it" He says, moving away from the wall slowly. I wrap my arms around him for support as he starts to walk back to the bed.

With all the energy he had left, he carefully laid me down on one side; using all of his strength to limp to the other. He plopped down onto the bed, sprawling out. We both inhaled and exhaled deeply, turning our heads to look at each other. "Should I walk you to your house?" He asks, holding out a hand to my cheek, rubbing the skin. I smile faintly, "Ill make up some excuse that I needed some alone time or something-I dont know" I shrug weakly. He smiles his cute smile, the one that was near and dear to his heart. "Im suggesting you wanna sleep over here?" He says, getting under the bed covers. I join with him, "Is that alright with you?" I ask in a sarcastic tone, grinning like a goofball. "Does a piano have a G note?" He says sarcastically. "Ill take that as a yes" I answer, cuddling up to him. He wraps his arm around me, my head laying on his inked chest. "Night, Joseph" I say, only above a whisper. "Night, Doll" ............. I open my eyes to rays of sunshine displayed on the ends of the bed. I feel Tyler playing with my hair, stroking my forehead and running his hands through strands. "Good morning" I whisper, smiling faintly. "Mornin'" He says, turning me so im facing him. We look into our eyes for a little bit; not moving or speaking. All of the sudden, we hear steps from outside the door. Our eyes opened in shock, his big brown pupils shaking in terror of what was about to happen. Neither of us moved, only stared. The door suddenly opened, revealing the one and only, Kelly Joseph. "Tyler, honey! Breakfast is re-TYLER! YOUR IN BIG TROUBLE MISTER!"

(I hope you enjoyed the laughs and pleasures and pains my fanfic has brought to you. Sometimes its nice to have an intense sex dream with Tyler Joseph. But truly, I hope Tyler doesn't read this lol. But anyway, I hope you liked it and cya next time :D)

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i-am-baka515 · 7 years

Text

My Life in a nutshell

So far life has been mostly shit and giggles for me i never take anything seriously because i always let the problems go. For example my problems with grammar which is one of the minor one I have always had. For the first few years on elementary school the only friends I had were named ----- and ------ if you know me you can put a name in they were both girls. One of them i was always teased for being her “boyfriend” the little kid puppy love type of thing. I ended up having a crush on her for the longest time throughout that time period up until 3rd grade i had no friends. The other things that were there were all my friends that moved the teachers that tried to encourage me, I was the kid that had bad grades and no one knew anything about me. To this day i keep everything to myself because I hated the feeling of being a nuisance towards others although I hated being in trouble. My grades were terrible the people i my life all found other friends which now that i’m in high school they are in the worst groups so I could have been with them. I in the end never have really had any good friends that I have kept for more than 5 years with this time until beginning of sophomore year I spend the time with only family and cousins online. For every fucking summer. Going back to 3rd grade I was never included in games until the teacher included me this was the same year I first got pissed at an underclassmen he was 2 years younger it was because he would not ever answer me he ignored me and I got impatient and I got in trouble for that that was the other friend I had lost. At this point I was the trouble maker cause i was a klutz, oblivious, and overly strong/an idiot overall. I would always look forward to the small things in life When i was with the 2 girls everything was great. I Always had this quirk where people would always think i’m smart where in reality to an extent i’m smarter than I put out to be,that or all the smart kids end up being my friends out of coincidence. In 4th grade I went into the band became friends with _ _ _ _the first guy that did not move we are still friendly to this day which the people that i got close to for example_ _ _ _ I told my secret which was honestly not a big deal -I kissed ------ the one people would tease me about. from there he too me under his wing a bit and I met a group of fun people I barely got anytime with them we later would separate and i would meet * * * * * he is a great guy I ended up joining the play and Whenever I would do something I would either be the last one considered or some other choice that was not considered. I would always expect to be neglected and alone because all those years in elementary. from this point I found the joy in little things. From elementary school I ended up the way I am which is a bit of a depressive overactive mess. for the rest middle school I would be an average student Bad grades but was respected by a good lot of students. I had my few grudges I was a bit odd and stuck out from being so awkward. Most of the people I met and became friends with moved 3 more moved from middle school to highschool. We will now continue to where everything important starts. First off ()()( I had a crush on you and would not approach you we were in English class when i got over this instantly when we became friends this the biggest thing i have hid and kept other than the fact that i have trust issues. Ahh i forgot to mention from 6th grade until now i was in track and was more athletic than most others. also I met so many other people freshman year I became friends with a lot of the school and did not have a problem with meeting new people which at first was very odd but I still never really got close to anyone because I felt like I never had to and or wanted to. from this point ()()( went off to do other things which i found out about later due to us becoming close friends. throughout this time frame i forgot to mention that my parents didnt expect anything out of me and my sisters would Physically beat me at points because how terrible they were they would also degrade me mentally which I had to gain “tougher skin” and all this with me being the eldest sibling. going back to highschool &&&& Thank you for everything and being my older “senpai” the one that made me so different without you I wouldnt be a part of what i am today. freshman year went smoothly and after that Comes the summer of freshman year where I developed as a person started becoming more social and actually got somewhere in life where i started working out getting ready for next year trying to improve who I was instead of going on minecraft about 18hrs of the day. where &&&& introduced me to !!!!! and ??????? who I talk to ??????? today and still hangout with. Fuck I forgot my punctuation. Welp Anyways From here they would open me up and get me ready for sophomore year where i would meet my Gf which i did not know until about 6months later where we actually started dating you know who you are if you are reading this. anyways her and some friends opened me uptowards hanging out in larger groups of people from school. Mind you I never open up towards anyone except the people that do matter in my life. or atleast i thought mattered from here we had drama with my new found group. I have more explaining to do but to get to the point of this is Up until now I have told people jackshit about my life because I want to be treated the exact same as everyone else. And In my friend group I have felt like shit sometimes they have made me happy but all things can go to shit I am over the shit that happened on 6/24/17 this is the day before my sisters 13th birthday and also Signing out of this the last thing i will mention is from december of sophomore year until now something idk what it is has started to fester.

#rants

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nora-reads-homestuck · 7 years

Text

Nora Reads HS Part 66

Pages 6056-6093

Hey guys! Things got busy busy busy with work and the holidays, but like Slim Shady, I am back. Last time we got brief introductions to Jane and Jake, the post-Scratch young Nanna and Grandpa, respectively, and it was interesting to see how the modern setting meshed with their old-timey dialogic idiosyncrasies. I’m very much looking forward to (hopefully!) meeting young Mom and Bro this time around and learning what they’re like. So far all I know for certain is that Bro is as elusive as his pre-Scratch counterpart, and Mom and Jane are, like, BFFsies or something. I feel like we’ve gotten some minor sneak peeks into their personalities after seeing adult!Mom’s pink, girly bedroom in the Skaianet lab, and... oh god... from Bro’s awful comics. How will these quirks translate into fully-fleshed teenagers, and just how fucked up will young Bro be?

Let’s find out! ^0^

*click*

Jane: Answer Lalonde.

OH MY GOD SHE IS SO FUCKING CUTE. We are 2/2 on post-Scratch girls being GODDAMNED ADORABLE. I love her little pink phone, and her mutant kitty symbol, and her hair curlicue, and her tights under her skirt (are those leg warmers?), and her... martini?? Ok, so, these kids are still kids, right? If this is November 2011 and Jane’s thirteenth birthday was 3 years ago, then young Mom should only be just about to turn seventeen. Adult Mom obviously had a habitual hankering for hooch, but it’s weird and kind of worrying to see that carry over into her teenage self. Anyway, let’s see what she’s got to say!

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:24

Huh, so she’s got Dave’s pesterchum initials, and not Rose’s. Come to think of it, Jane has Jade’s initials, and not John’s. So then I guess I’d expect Bro to have Rose’s initials... which is odd. Anyway, her handle seems to confirm that she’s a drunk-o teen (where is Rose during all this??), and may possibly be awake on Derse, even if, like Dave, she doesn’t know it.

TG: jane

PINK TEXT AAAAAH CUTE

TG: hey TG: jaaaney TG: ansrew plz TG: *answer TG: jaaaaaaaaaane GG: Omg.

JESUS, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. So like... she not only has Dave’s initials, but she fucking talks like him??? And is apparently legit drunk during the day. Like I said, that bit is concerning, but I admit it is fucking hilarious that she talks and acts nothing like Rose. No wonder the poor kid had such a hard time understanding her.

GG: Overreact much? I kept you waiting for all of two seconds! GG: Where have you been today? TG: nowhere just chilling here TG: when all of the sudden GG: "All of a sudden." TG: when all of the sudden

Hahaha, I know someone who consistently says ‘all of the sudden’, and it hurts me not to correct them all the time. (They also say ‘yield’ instead of ‘wield’, and how could you ever think ‘unyieldy’ was a word.) And let it not go unremarked upon that I fucking LOVE that Mom just repeated herself anyway. Didn’t Dave do that once or twice when someone tried to correct him?

TG: it hits me TG: thaf we have somethig really fuckin important to talk about GG: This hit you just now? We made plans to get in touch early this morning, and I have seen neither hide nor hair of you all day. TG: it hits me that TG: jakes bday is coming up really soon TG: just a few days before mine remembr

Hmm, so their birthdays are the same as their pre-Scratch counterparts. Also, heh, I get the feeling that Jake’s birthday was definitely not what they’d made plans to talk about.

TG: or i guess it would be if it wasnt for the end of the world thats about to happen GG: Oh, for Pete's sake.

Whoa whoa whoa!! So Mom knows enough about the game to know that it’s going to end the world. Not even Jade, with her ‘precognitive’ abilities, knew that ahead of time. Hell, Aradia only knew because she was in communication with ghosts, and Sollux didn’t figure it out until right before it happened. I guess that’s where the ‘gnostalgic’ comes in. (Side note: that’s a really clever portmanteau and I’m almost jealous I didn’t think of it.)

TG: i just wanted your advice on what to get him TG: something sentimental i guess? but i mean im mostly tapped out of precious heirlooms atm so idk TG: but not like anything coming on too strong TG: something that says TG: this is totes platonic and everything TG: no eyebrow raising funnybiz is goin on over here TG: but still says you know TG: call me TG: if you wanna

...Aaaaaand Mom has the hots for Jake, apparently. Huh, that’s kind of fucked up in a way, considering her adult self hooked up with John’s Dad. Oh god, that pairing isn’t going to carry over to her liking Jane’s Dad, is it??

I wonder how difficult it was for Hussie to type out ‘totes’.

GG: Grrr. GG: Now I know you're joking around to get my goat.

To get it, and then, say, tote it?

TG: ahaha TG: yeah TG: the goat getting thing i mean TG: but joking oh no i think not TG: u dont think that if i didnt say he was off limits on account of you being my best friend TG: i wouldnt be all the hell over that????

So... Jane and Jake are already dating?? I guess that is the prescribed ‘canon’ pairing, so that makes sense. Does Mom LittleLonde—that’s what she’ll be from now on—also have the hots for young Bro then? Or maybe she just wants to bone everything/everyone. I can feel that.

TG: daaaaamn TG: that rugged senseof adventure TG: the delightful silly vernacular thats like TG: weirdly and bewitchingly not self aware TG: those adorbable teeth TG: swoooooooooon <3

Yes, those are definitely all swoonworthy things. ...Hah, I can totally deal with ‘adorabable’. It’s weird, but after reading all the trolls’ quirks, I kind of skip over the typos unless she calls them out herself.

GG: Nooooo, stop. :( TG: well shit jane TG: what am i even supposed to do TG: i cant hit on anybody and appaprently i can entertain nary a frisky THOUGHT about anyboby because apparentley evrybodies OFF LIMITS!!!!! TG: *buncha goddamn typos TG: shit suuucks TG: you dont even let me say your dad is hot even though we both know he way the fuck is i mean come one TG: *one TG: *on GG: Yeah. Because it's weird!

OH MY GOD I FUCKING LOVE HER. I mean yeah, it is pretty damn weird that she’s still got... daddy issues... but, ‘*buncha goddamn typos’?? Anybody would be lucky to have her.

...Huh. Now that I’m thinking about it, is Jane’s Dad exactly the same as John’s Dad? They look the same, but... how would that even work? Maybe he was adopted, and isn’t actually related to John and Jane at all, so his existence and physical appearance aren’t contingent upon anything game-related?

GG: And you're drunk. :P TG: correction TG: drinking TG: prensent tense TG: grammar jane

GG: I don't see why you don't try to court the favor of Mr. Strider. If you ask me, he and you are perfect for each other.

Again, a ‘canon’ pairing getting called out. Are they going to be played straight, or hilariously subverted like Karkat’s shipping grid?

TG: oh jane TG: so naive

Silly Jane; he’s clearly only into plush rump. *shudder*

TG: soooo niaev GG: Lordy. GG: How can you be this far gone so early? GG: It isn't even noon yet.

Yes, that is a very good question. Weirdly, I’m glad that this is at least getting called out; if her being drunk were played just for laughs, it might have been a bit distasteful. Addiction is an issue I’m rather painfully familiar with. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out, if it does.

TG: you forget we live in very different time zones TG: its a lot later here GG: You're three hours ahead of me! TG: youd would be amazed TG: how much can happen TG: in 3 hours

She’s not like... already entering the game, is she? And she does still live in New York, right?

GG: Tsk. What would your mother have to say if she caught you? TG: p sure she wouldnt give a shit TG: i mean TG: shes the one who stocked thegod damn liquor cabinets in the firts place TG: i dont even think she ever had a drop in her life probably TG: so why else is she puttin it there it was like TG: a passive aggrassive dare for me TG: *aggressive TG: jut the sort of mind game she would play

HOLY SHIT, what is going on here?? I’m a bit surprised that LittleLonde would have the same contentious relationship with her ‘Mom’ that Rose did, given their wildly different personalities and LittleLonde’s cheeriness so far. But she has a good point; if Rose doesn’t drink, then is the liquor cabinet just... some sort of test she’s putting LittleLonde through, and refusing to step in when she fails it? That’s fucked up.

GG: So even if your insane and paranoid theory happens to be true, your response is, "Screw it! Time to help myself to all this mind game booze." TG: yuuuuuuuuuuuup TG: pppp mcuh

Yeah, stick it to the Man. :\

GG: Groan. You are completely impossible like this. GG: I cannot believe you chose to do this today of all days. I should have known better! GG: Here I am waking up bright and early, waiting all day with my nose pressed against this glass for the mail to come and wondering if you'll ever log on, and all the while you are just getting blind stinking schnocker-bottomed drunk.

*steals ‘schnocker-bottomed’ for my own vocabulary*

TG: watcha waiting for TG: in the mail TG: is something happening today or something GG: &%#$@!!! GG: The alpha! GG: Jeez-Louise, you are hopeless. TG: oh yeah TG: that thing

Ahahahaha. I can’t fucking get over how adorable it is that she’s basically cutesy girl!Dave when it comes to being slightly ditzy and forgetful. And NO, Chrome; you are not going to autocorrect ‘ditzy’ to ‘ditsy’, that’s dumb.

GG: Are you at all ready to play if it comes? TG: i guess TG: but TG: you sure you even want to play this thing TG: u know its just what the batterwitch wants you to do GG: Not this again.

WOW, WELP. 8|

So it looks like LittleLonde knows exactly what’s going on, and knows that the Batterwitch intends to interfere somehow with the new Sburb session. That’s an interesting twist, having a drunk oracle who no one will take seriously because she’s ””schnocker-bottomed””.

TG: if you want to go ahead and be a chump jane its ur call im just saying TG: i know what a chump looks like TG: and you dont look like no chump i ever saw TG: if you go thru with this ill have to add your porfile to my chump roll

Heh heh. (AAH THAT PAGE QUOTE.)

GG: The "Batterwitch" DOES NOT EXIST! GG: It is an idiotic urban legend. GG: How many times have I explained this? My great, great grandmother who founded the company and is accused of holding this identity would have to be almost two hundred years old if she were still alive today. The idea is such preposterous hogwash it's hardly worth dignifying with a rational response.

[Insert obligatory “It’s more likely than you think.”] Gosh, I can foresee her refusal to believe what’s going on being frustrating later down the line.

GG: The iconic face of the company isn't even a real person! She was fabricated long ago during the company's fledgling years.

BECAUSE THE REAL FOUNDER WAS AN ALIEN, DUNKASS. ...Yep, already a bit frustrating. We’re not at Wheel of Time levels of miscommunication/trust issues yet, though.

TG: right TG: as TG: you know TG: an alter ego TG: for somethig more sinister GG: Such cuckoobird nonsense.

AAUUUGHH, no fucking wonder LittleLonde drinks.

GG: Have you even obtained your copy yet?? TG: um TG: heh TG: yes "obtianed" TG: suuure did GG: Through your various technologically crypotgraphic means, I presume? TG: oh you bet TG: hacked the SHIT out of those TIGHT mainframes and all TG: said jackpot like TG: a BUNCH of times TG: all those TG: cyhpers and bobbytraps TG: backdoor trojans and what not TG: were no match TG: 4 mai codez TG: snicker GG: :|

Jesus, this sounds like Dave trying to talk about sports. Or, Hackers. Does LittleLonde actually know what she’s talking about?

GG: I am quizzically narrowing my eyes trying to solve the joke you are attempting, assuming it even is one. TG: ok jane what im saying is that TG: in the parlance of baking cause i know that is what gets you off TG: is that TG: it was a fuckin cakewake TG: **cakewalk GG: Oh.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I LOVE THIS GIRL.

TG: like by wich i mean not to say hur hur im hottest shit haxxor bitch you ever knew TG: as deadlay to the corporate grid ass she is beatuiful TG: which i AM but TG: what i mean is shit wasnt even guarded TG: it was just TG: some files TG: that were there TG: unsecured TG: and i took them TG: jacked them right offa that intraweb telematrice TG: then applied lipstick TG: femme fatale style TG: and was like shit yes i ALL KINDS of know how to use my web browser to download serveral files

I’M FUCKIN’ WEEPING

GG: Hrm. That is a bit puzzling. I thought this software was highly proprietary. TG: i told you TG: she wants you to play TG: wants us all to TG: part of her BIG PLANS TG: and ur playing right into em TG: like TG: a TG: chhhhhhhhhhhhh....

...ode?

Anyway, this would seem to lend credence to the idea that the Batterwitch is Earth’s new First Guardian, pulling the strings from behind the scenes the way Doc Scratch did with the trolls in order to further her employer’s designs.

GG: Ump, yes, I know. You've made yourself clear.

Dammit.

GG: But what doesn't add up about your story is, GG: I believe SOMEBODY doesn't want me to play. GG: How else do you explain the recent attempts on my life?

Whoa, what? Like, assassination attempts, because she’s the heir to Betty Crocker? Looks like LittleLonde might not be the only one who understands that there is something very... fishy going on.

TG: orrrr TG: its just more connivings of the witch GG: So this hypothetical monstrosity wants me to succeed, but also wants me to die? GG: Makes a lot of sense! TG: wouldnt put it past her TG: makes you feel perpsecuted TG: redoubles your determination to play TG: u advance her plans in whatever incomprehensible way TG: until suddenly you did evrything she needed you to TG: at which point you become craaaaazy expendable yo TG: and then TG: she expends you TG: like a wad of boondollars on shitty bc merch

Seems a bit more convoluted than Doc Scratch’s approach, if such a thing were even possible. ...On second thought, no, literally nothing could be more convoluted than Doc Scratch. Maybe it’s not convoluted, per se, and more just really, really bad planning.

GG: I see. This is sounding less like a crackpot conspiracy theory by the minute! TG: w/e alls im saying is a bunch of stuff thats def true to the max

I know it would break with the naming scheme, but could LittleLonde be named Cassie? Or just Cass? That would fit.

TG: my drunk butts tune will stay as unchanged as it will remain un not drunk

Spoiler: she farts in F#.

TG: makr my barley corerent words

She’s self-aware, if nothing else. Does she drink beer?

GG: If years ago someone told me, which incidentally someone DID, that today I would have an exclusive opportunity to play what is absolutely the most cutting edge immersive simulation game ever released, developed by a company which has already done so much for the advancement of humanity, I would have said, "Shucks, buster, sign me up!"

Uh, well, who told her years go? Was it LittleLonde?? Because you’d think that would lend some credence to her claims, but noooOOoooo.

TG: jane GG: Yes? TG: jaaaane GG: What! TG: jane TG: did u know TG: that i am uttrely TG: IN LOVE TG: with the fact that TG: i have a best friend TG: who says things TG: like TG: shucks buster

littlelonde did u know that i am uttrely IN LOVE with u????

GG: Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... TG: wtf GG: The thing. GG: The flappy thing!

The little red arm-swingy-dealy! (Btw it’s called a semaphore. Also that took me a second to cotton on to and at first I had this image of Flappy Bird??)

GG: THE FLAPPY SWINGY DOODAD. GG: THE ARM DEALIE. GG: THE DEALIE, LALONDE, THE DEALIE!!! TG: wut

<3 <3 <3

GG: IT'S UP, IT'S UP, IT'S UP. TG: i dont get a lotta mail out here and im no mail expret TG: *expert TG: but TG: doesnt that mean not the right thing TG: like ur susposed to put it up if you want something taken away not have the guy put it up if mail comes TG: i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass

Or your author; one of the two. :P

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

But wait, perhaps that is not so much the distinguished Inspector Clouseau as it is...

‘really fucking stupid’? That’s my guess.

THE WORLD RENOWNED INVESTIGATOR HERCULE POIROT, BECAUSE THE LITTLE CURLY MUSTACHE IS A LOT CUTER.

DAMMIT.

The great Poirot, in THIS house?? Such an honor. I will set the kettle to boil straightaway. Who would have guessed this home would be so heavily trafficked by famous French detectives at this time of day?

Followed by Dupin and Lecoq?

...Aaaaand it’s another character select! This seems to follow the pattern of the mess of photographs from Act 5; I click on characters one by one, then when I’m done, I click the link at the bottom of the page and move on. Hmm, hovering over LittleLonde and Bro shows location markers I can’t click, but which confirm they live in New York and Texas like their counterparts. Also, I realized that we’re continuing the trend of the post-Scratch kids’ color themes matching their pre-Scratch counterparts’ sprites. That means Bro will be typing in orange, most likely.

Back to Jake!

And just like that, back to Jake. What was it you were up to? Oh right, you were going to pick these dang guns up off the floor when you were interrupted by some fleeting imperceptible thought. You kind of space out sometimes.

For some reason the word ‘dang’ is inherently hilarious to me, especially when paired with ‘ol’. I have a friend who says “dang ol’ ___” all the time, and it cracks me the fuck up.

What’s up with all the vines, btw? No timeline shenanigans to steal Jade’s pumpkins?

You pick up your TWIN M9 BERETTAS, weapons of choice in an absurd arsenal inherited from an eccentric old woman. Guns are so cool. Your GRANDMA was rad.

So Jade is dead, just like John. Booo. :’(

It's your authentic TOMB RAIDER SEXY THIGHSTRAP DOUBLE HOLSTER, complete with cool skullbuckle and everything. You like to think you pull it off about as well as Croft herself.

Uh, well, alright then. Nothing wrong with that.

You like to think that, but in truth you look ridiculous. You think you probably need shorter shorts to make it work? Probably skin tight shorts too. As it is, the cuffs of your baggy shorts get kind of bunched up underneath the thighstraps, which is uncomfortable and makes you look like a tool.

BAHAHAHAHA. Now, if Heero Yuy had tried to wear it...

> Jake: Examine bed.

Ooh, yes, this ought to be interesting. What’s up with his sheets?

You think your bed is some sort of electronic gadget. You're pretty sure those bedpost globes are supposed to glow like light bulbs under certain circumstances. But you've never been able to figure out what purpose it serves. Just more mysterious junk inherited from your eclectic GRANDMA.

HOLY SHIT, IS IT A QUEST BED??? Did she like... expect him to get killed before the game even started?? What would it do if he died on it outside the Incipisphere?

Movies are so great. You have never seen a movie you didn't like, you are pretty sure. People give you a hard time for that though. Gosh you love movies. Almost as much as you love skulls. And movies that have skulls in them? Oh my god.

Well then I bet he REALLY would have dug the fourth Indiana Jones movie that mercifully died in pre-production because the concept was so stupid.

Jake: Scope out those blue chicks.

You are oft-times the recipient of a good ribbing from Jane on account of your peculiar fascination with blue movie ladies. You don't have to justify yourself to her though. What is even her deal? Any fella would be off his ROCKER not to fawn over all these BODACIOUS BLUE KNOCKOUTS. You want to make out with all of them.

Well, Jane is a girl, and she’s sort of blue-themed... Not to mention she’s, like, canonically destined to end up with him.

I’m not sure whether that’s more or less respectable than John trying to kiss his Nic Cage poster.

Dear, sweet Neytiri from James Cameron's Avatar. Oh, if only you were the one who could have overcome his paralysis on an alien adventure planet to become her boyfriend, instead of that other guy.

Incidentally also named Jake, IIRC.

Then she could have shown you how to be bold and courageous, and stand up to fight for your people, and maybe later, engage in a bizarre extraterrestrial reproductive process involving ponytails, and a magical tree you guess?

Wait a second... a Page who imagines himself as a paralyzed guy on an adventure planet, who wants to learn from a blue chick to be bold and courageous, and then engage in a bizarre extraterrestrial reproductive process??

wHY DOES THIS SOUND, fAMILIAR,

:::;)

You'll show that curmudgeonly Strider who's just a gigantic shitty space furry.

PAHAHA. So young Bro is curmudgeonly, and has a vocabulary similar to Dave’s. I don’t doubt Hussie’s skill, but I’m still REALLY interested to see how Dave’s Bro is going to be transformed into an actual character, with like... feelings and stuff.

You will show him what marvelous creatures they are. You'll show him what a daring dream it is, to combine the finest qualities of humanity with...

Oh no, not this again

She says you sound just like John when you say stuff like that though, and that the two of you would get along famously. You can't wait to meet him.

THEY WAIT. I can’t wait until they meet either! I know that Act 6 is broken into many “”sub acts”” and I wonder how long we’re going to beat around the bush before the meetup happens.

Also there are some Cage flicks there. But who doesn't love a good Cage flick? Nobody is who. Dang, you would kill to get your hands on some authentic Cage movie memorabilia. But that'll probably have to remain a crazy dream.

Did... did he not realize before he sent Jane the bunny... :|a

AND HE EVEN STILL HAS ONE. Wait, how the hell did he get two bunnies??

The TRANSMATERIALIZER you have been using to ship it back and forth is wired to sync up your flow of time with hers, so it's not like you can just take forever with it, and send to the exact time she needs it - you've thought of that!

I don’t think this is happening exactly the way you’re imagining... Granted I don’t think anybody could have accurately guessed at what was really happening without copious hints.

Sure is gonna be a sweet gift. Reminds you a lot of the old ratty bunny you inherited from your GRANDMA, who of course is exactly who you are collaborating with to make this thing. Time loops make you feel a bit fuzzy in the head, but you've always suspected it could very well be the same bunny.

Phew, so he’s not a total numskull. That’s good.

At some point in the early 20th century, Jade gave this robo-rabbit to John, and then later it must have been wound up back with Jade... somehow? Then she... uh... removed all the robot parts, hung on to it until she was an old woman, and gave it to you?

Seems legit.

Jade tells you this little rabbit here, or Terry Kiser as you like to call him, will save John's life!

Terry... Kiser... fuck, I’m fucking dead. Creatures/objects having different names between kids is one of my favorite running jokes. Meowgon Spengler, or Vodka Mutini? Dear, sweet Casey, or Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer?

In fact, this project gave you a neat idea for what to do for Jane's 13th birthday a couple years ago. You and your other pals all coordinated gifts, each sending a customized rabbit. Lalonde happened to have another bunny heirloom like yours, and Strider... well, Strider was resourceful as usual.

OH LAWD, I don’t think I’m ready for the smubbit.

If John enjoys his gift anywhere near as much as Jane did, then it will be time well spent.

Which is to say, he’ll appreciate the thought but ultimately feel pretty ambivalent about it?

You have been plundering all of your devices for uranium to refuel the TRANSMATERIALIZER, which requires huge amounts of power any time it sendificates or appearifies the package from the past. Seems to you like excessive energy consumption for just a simple time machine, but what do you know? Unless it's doing something besides shipping it across time. You couldn't imagine what, though.

Ok, but even time travel requires 1.21 gigawatts, and that’s nothing to sniff at. ...Never mind, actually I looked it up and 1.21 gigawatts isn’t even all that hard to produce!

As much as it troubles your pride to admit, this project wouldn't be possible without help from your other two technologically savvy friends. And you are slowly coming to the regrettable conclusion that you will not be able to solve this uranium dilemma without asking for Strider's assistance. He's your best bro and all, but the dude never makes anything easy.

...Uh, what the hell does Bro know about... And how the hell would he get his hands on uranium?? Hm.

Hah, that’s pretty cool! It’s like tile Tetris.

You stash Terry in your PUZZLE MODUS. It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris.

Heh heh.

The space in your inventory is mainly hogged up by one incredibly huge thing. You guess you should get rid of it. But you can't shake the feeling you might need it someday, and you don't want to risk ditching it and be caught with your pants down later.

WHOA HOLY SHIT. What the hell is it?? And what do you want to bet that he’ll accidentally deploy it early, or lose it or something? ...Is it a giant matriorb?

Hmm, lots of Knight references over in this corner. Something to do with Dave or Karkat? I’m guessing Bro isn’t going to be a Knight if none of the other kids share classpects with their counterparts.

On your worktable there are a few comic books starring your favorite heroine of all, SPIDER-GIRL. You don't know what it is, but there's something about a girl who has spidery powers and a sassy attitude that is just so cool to you. It's just another quirky fact about you that definitely doesn't have any greater significance, and never will.

Oh GAWD. Is he going to end up with a similar arc to Tavros? Run into Vriska in a dream bubble and become the new Pupa Pan?

Well, as long as one of your preposterously numerous computers has spilled out of your sylladex, you might as well stop procrastinating and contact Strider to... hang on. Maybe later.

AAAAAH IT’S MYSTERY TROLL! Let’s see what she has to say! Normally I’d be miffed about missing out on kidchat, but this is fine. Also, troll computer!

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering golgothasTerror [GT] at 5:45

...Did I completely skip over his chumhandle last time?? Golgatha is the hill on which Jesus was crucified, and literally means ‘place of the skull’.

UU: hello there, darling. ~3u

It took about half a minute and a lot of head tilting to realize this is supposed to be a winking kissy face. UGH she’s super cute. I do still wonder who she’s supposed to be, because Karkat’s ancestor was almost certainly not female, if my understanding of the Scratch is correct.

GT: Im determined as ever to see this through. But as usual events have conspired to make a boondoggle of the prospect. GT: I think i might be fucked.

Hah. I love the curses thrown into his otherwise ridiculous anachronistic patter.

GT: Terry needs fuel and i dont have any left. I think im at striders dubious mercy for a solution YET AGAIN. GT: I will have to ask him for help. And soon.

I still don’t understand how Bro is supposed to help! Is Dave like... a nuclear scientist in this universe, in addition to making a SBaHJ movie?

UU: i relayed the information enabling yoU to create the powerfUl weaponry yoUrself. UU: and yoU did! UU: yoU then sent them back in time. yoU may recover them in the rUins, which conveniently is where yoU mUst go to ship the package once and for all. UU: bangUp plan we hatched, dont yoU fancy? ^u^ GT: I see...

So... he makes the weapons after he enters the game, when he has access to the punch designix and the alchemiter, and then sends them back in the lotus pod? Interesting.

Gosh, she sure uses a lot of British slang, in addition to Commonwealth spellings. Is there a Troll England?

GT: That is what im doing right? Giving it to my grandma when she was a kid growing up on the same island i did? UU: that is somewhat close to the trUth, and i can see how yoU woUld draw that conclUsion.

This sounds like Hussie’s non-sarcastic stock response to wacky fan theories.

UU: perhaps a draft of the cascading seqUence from which yoUr reality has arisen will pUt yoUr mind at ease. UU: imagine two Universes, A and B. UU: now imagine there are two instances of each Universe, A1 and A2 and B1 and B2. UU: the first instance of each is like a test rUn, that does not qUite sUcceed. UU: the second instance thoUgh will meet all of its pUrposes! UU: now consider that A1 begets A2. UU: A2 begets B1. UU: and B1 begets B2. UU: and the participants of B2 are the ones who will make an effort to exit all this tUrbUlence and falderal.

That’s... actually reasonably straightforward and concise. So the troll universe we’re familiar with is A2, and the original human kids’ is B1. Even though A2 didn’t quite finish the way it was supposed to, its players, along with B1′s, will all gather in the successful B2.

Also, now the flash title ‘Cascade’ makes a lot more sense!

UU: and yoUr yoUng ancestor is another, thoUgh she is "presently" stationed in B1. UU: and yes she is in the past. UU: thoUgh not qUite as far as yoU believe!

Just under 3 years, by my count... So all of this collaboration between them happened before the game, and technically if he were able to talk to Jade right at this very moment, it would be a ‘past’ Jade from our perspective!

GT: I remember you mentioned your race doesnt really jive with ours familially speaking? UU: correct. i never knew those who one woUld identify as my parental eqUivalents. U_U

I don’t suppose the Mother Grub really counts as a ‘mom’ in anything approaching the human sense.

GT: When do i get to learn your name by the way? UU: hm trUthfUlly? UU: it may be for the best that yoU never know it. UU: it coUld stir Up some things best left in their present eqUilibriUm.

Kar...katina? I wonder what the deal is. Is it a whole ‘names have power’ kind of thing?

GT: Just please tell me in the least causally spoilery way possible... GT: What are we even trying to accomplish here? What is even the rootin tootin POINT of this game? UU: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt. UU: bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it, UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods.

And after that, it’s finally answering The Ultimate Riddle!

UGH WHY DOES HE HAVE A WHOLE COSPLAY’S WORTH OF LORD ENGLISH SHIT?? D:

You've been taught you should really carry no less than 5 computers on you at all times, like a sensible person.

Teehee, yeah, that’s Jade.

These were also inherited from your grandma.

But why would...

In addition to being quite the globe trotting adventuress, she was rather enterprising as well. Her company made many products like this, to compete with the corporation owned by the cruel baroness who raised her. Sadly, BCCorp eventually crushed her company and forced her into exile.

So not only did she name Jake ‘English’ (if she didn’t take the name herself), but she also manufactured Lord English-themed apparel... to compete with BCCorp?? But Lord English is HIC’s employer. How does that even work??

You have always hoped that when Jane takes over that foul conglomerate, she will right all of its unspeakable wrongs. You know she will! You believe in her, after all.

How very Page of Hope. I’m guessing his arc is going to combine some of Tavros’s Page struggles with Eridan’s lack of Hope. But since this universe is supposed to be the culmination of everything, the universe where everything finally plays out right, hopefully (hah) Jake will be more successful than either of those two. He doesn’t seem particularly shy or inept so far, nor is he a giant bag of dicks, so maybe he’s got the best of those two characters with none of their flaws.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, BRO’S SYMBOL IS A HAT. HOW FUCKING DOUCHEY CAN YOU GET. HE IS LITERALLY GAME BRO JESUS CHRIST.

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 5:57

Timaeus...? That’s familiar. *looks it up* Ah! We read Plato’s Timaeus in Philosophy; that’s why. I don’t remember much about it, but according to Wikipedia, it’s mostly hilariously inaccurate theories about the elemental geometric shapes the universe is made of, and there’s some stuff about the creation of the earth, the golden ratio, and Atlantis. Pretty appropriate for a Sburb player, I guess. If there’s any deeper meaning, I suspect I’ll only find out after I’ve been fed more information.

GT: Bro. GT: Ahem. GT: Are you there? GT: I hate to be a pest about this and i know ive made a hearty trouble of myself a good deal lately... TT: State your business, Jake.

OH MY GOD, HE TYPES LIKE ROSE. Like... for some reason I kind of fuckin’ love that??

GT: I should preface this request with an overture of appreciation. GT: For how much your cool and brotherly friendship means to me.

Brown-nose harder, Jake. I don’t think your face is satisfactorily wedged into his plush rump.

GT: It has just been... GT: Absolutely *bully* having a standup gent like you in my corner. GT: Just a grade a dude whos a cut above the others in class and camaraderie. GT: Phew... *gropes for fresh kerchief.* GT: I hope this shit isnt coming across as platitudinous. I really mean it!

Suuuuuure you do. No sarcasm there!

TT: Take it easy, bromide. TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible.

...Huh. Hmmm. I... Hm. Well, that certainly is a thing that just got said. Gosh, him talking like Rose was so unexpected! I’m not sure what to make of it.

TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided,

One-sided on whose part? And... shit, does that mean everybody wants to smang it with Jake? Or is he saying that Jake gets flustered and hits on him?

TT: That leaves only one hope for this message to avoid spiraling toward qualification as a critical fucking defect in the hull of the Mach 10 rocket that is my precious spare time. TT: And that hope lies in the extent to which you were practicing artful insincerity. TT: Now's your opportunity to pretend that's what you were gunning for. I suggest you seize it.

*GROOOOOAN* Not this irony horseshit again!!

GT: I... GT: Oh. Yes! But of course. GT: The ironies! GT: Good grief how i was bandying them just now. You know me dude.

Pfffft.

GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.* GT: *NONSUGGESTIVELY!!!!!* GT: Um. GT: Yeah.

So I guess it was one-sided on Bro’s part, and he’s a creepy lech in every universe! Yaaaaay.

TT: Ok, nice. TT: Now that your obsequious preface has been established as indisputably entertaining for all the right reasons, and intentionally so, TT: Let's bear down on these dire as shit needs you've got.

Urgh, I really do want to hate him, but I also like the way he talks. If he really is sort of a combo of Rose and Dave, some of my favorite characters, then I don’t know... Maybe he’ll grow on me.

TT: I'm guessing you're probably jonesing for uranium about now. No? GT: Pshaw! As if i would be so reckless with the stuff. GT: I would have to be mighty irresponsible to run out already. GT: No no im all set in the uranium department and really when you take a look at the big picture youll find i am *sitting pretty* when it comes to just about any radioactive isotope you could mention. GT: However... GT: My backup reserves that i keep strictly for emergencies are running a little lean! GT: You know what my grandma taught me about preparedness. *Tugs at colorful lapels.* TT: You are out of uranium. TT: It's basically mathematically impossible that's not why you're contacting me.

Ok, now I’m REALLY wondering how young Bro is meant to get Jake some uranium. Clearly he’s way smarter than I was prepared to give him credit for, and than his pre-Scratch counterpart implies, but still.

GT: Christ what an insufferable awesome friend you are.

Pffffahahaha.

GT: Ok can you please just sendificate me some more already?? Im in kind of a hurry! TT: You do know my offer still stands. GT: What?

It’s blowjobs for uranium, isn’t it.

TT: You know. I've offered to construct the rabbit for you many times before. I would craft a much deadlier model.

Oh. Oh GOD. So, he’s taken his interest in puppets, turned it up to eleven, and he builds robots?? Do they also have giant asses?

GT: Damn it man ive told you this is just something i have to do myself. GT: Its a promise i made to jade and im going to live up to it even if im not the best or even second best robosmith i know!

I guess the other robosmith is Jade. But is it his Grandma Jade, or is it the young, B1 Jade he’s in communication with?

TT: Yeah, I know this is your policy. You've done a good job and you should be proud. TT: But it's my responsibility as your friend to offer one last time.

Huh, that’s kind of nice of him.

TT: Just as it's my responsibility not to just fork over a bunch of uranium just because you ask me in a moment of weakness.

...Aaaaaand there we go. Is it weird that I’m getting a Sollux-ish kind of vibe from this guy? Like, he’s got a heart in there somewhere, but is super prickly 95% of the time. Maybe he’s like a durian: thick, spiky outer shell, squishy innards, and smells like a dirty diaper!

GT: Frig!!!!! GT: Why not??? TT: It's too easy. TT: And you yourself are the one staking pride in this. TT: If you were half-assing this project and made some slovenly plea for it, I'd just say, fuck it, here's a lot of green rocks dude, go nuts. GT: Ok then! Im halfassing it! GT: Look. See? Only a bisected bottom is present! Where is the other half you ask? GT: Why... it is nowhere to be found. I didnt use it! TT: Nope. Not buying it.

HAH. Yes, Bro is frustratingly shitty so far, but I admit I am enjoying this a little.

TT: I know that every ounce of your premium behind can be accounted for in that rabbit, and there's no goddamned denying it.

So he’s an ass man; who’d’ve thunk it.

TT: And you know perfectly well where some more uranium can be located. GT: Jesus christmas you are such a fucking douche.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Though, where, exactly?

GT: I knew you were going to suggest this. I dont know why i bothered asking! GT: Strider why must you always be such an obstinate stick in the mud??? TT: It seems that you consider me to be, no less than one hundred percent of the time, an obstinate stick in the mud. TT: I unironically respect your position on this matter. Hey, let's continue to exchange ideas. GT: Wait... GT: "It seems"??

...Eh? *looks back*

TT: It seems you think I am a fucking douche. TT: That's your opinion, I guess. That's cool.

I guess that is kind of a strange expression to use, especially twice within a very short span of time.

TT: What? GT: Oh for fucks sake. TT: Is something the matter, Jake? GT: This is your auto responder.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, the “”auto responder”” is a goddamn robot, isn’t it.

WHOA WHAT?? Ok, so it’s not a robot. It is... apparently... the Squirtle Squad shades, which young Bro still has. So it’s like Dave’s iShades, I guess, with a computer built into them? Anyway, it looks like we’re in the Strider apartment’s bathroom, which is architecturally identical to the original, same way as the other kids’ houses. Only now there’s robot!puppet shit lying around, and a dumb hat shirt hung on the wall. Where’s Bro himself?

TT: Look at that statement you just made. TT: It's time for me to respond with some words, ideally chosen and arranged in a way that will wreck your shit, in a subtle and psychologically devastating way.

Jesus CHRIST. He’s Rose, only with the intent to psychologically damage people instead of just analyzing them. I didn’t even consider how fucking dangerous that could be. Er, well, at least his auto responder seems to act that way.

GT: Har har har! GT: Just soooo "*irooooonic*!!!" Quotes quotes quotes. GT: Im laughing my caboose STRAIGHT OFF THE TRACKS! A lot of families just died in the tragic derailment. TT: Ok, the caboose remark was actually pretty funny, Jake.

DAMMIT, I JUST SPIT WATER EVERYWHERE. What a Hussie thing to say.

TT: If I truly were what you say I am, I wouldn't be able to feel the human emotions of joy and laughter. No? GT: Laughter isnt an emotion dickprince!

Not to mention you just called them ‘human emotions’ like a troll!

TT: I think you should back your claims up with proof before you go heaving around such accusations. GT: Man its so flipping obvious. GT: You start getting kind of extra technical and vague and automoton like. GT: And kind of aloof and brusque. GT: I mean... GT: Even aloofier and brusquier than usual! GT: Also you use the phrase "it seems" a lot. Its so silly it really blows the AI immersion man.

So basically the auto responder is Bro’s actual personality dialed up to eleven? Yeah, I’m totally getting ‘extra douchey’ Sollux vibes from all of this.

TT: Bullshit. TT: I'm being like, the perfect dude right now. A fully fucking legitimate human being. GT: Ok then check this out mr legit human dude. GT: Excuse me sir not to be a bother but could you please tell me all about this strider fellows auto responder? TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.

AHAHAHAHAHA. Fuck, I think I actually kind of like this kid.

TT: Unimpressed. TT: Logical fallacies are as pervasive throughout your argument as your antiquated verbal tics. GT: Oh yeah? GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS

TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: Gee dude you sure typed that exact same thing pretty fast.

Not quite! I notice it was 96% indistinguishable last time.

GT: Are you still fucking with me?? TT: It could be a coincidence that I typed the same answer. GT: You always type that answer!!!!! TT: It could be a coincidence that I always type the same answer. GT: Uuuuuuugh.

Hah. Is the auto responder just a series of pre-programmed answers, or is it really legit fucking with Jake’s head here?

GT: I cant stand this. Every time we do this and i just wind up whistling sweet dixie out of my bum hole!

WHAT

THE

FUCK???

GT: This is pointless im not having this conversation unless its with my REAL LIFE FRIEND. THE ONE WITH HUMAN FEELINGS WHO ISNT A PRETEND PERSON INSIDE SUNGLASSES.

Hmm, so the auto responder really is contained inside the shades. How does that even work without all of Sburb’s alchemizing gear? Well, I guess if he can build robots, it’s not so much of a stretch...

Teeheeeeeeeee. <3

He's just so infuriating sometimes! Or at least his responder is. Ok, the real Strider is too.

Dave’s irony and rad slang combined with Rose’s psychological bullshit, infuriating?? WHAT A SURPRISE.

There's barely any difference between them anyway. The responder just uses a few more generic response templates. And even those you suspect the AI is savvy enough to use on purpose for the sake of irony, or to get a rise out of you or whatever. That silicon bastard knows damn well what it's doing.

Hah, well that answers that question I guess. Did it purposefully give itself away?

You shed this ridiculous outfit because you look like an idiot. It's time to get serious here. No more fooling around. You need a more dignified looking computer. A thinking man's computer.

Dad’s Bing Crosby laptop?

> Jake: Wear skulltop.

Sigh.

Much better. You look like you mean business.

You look like a villainous tool!

GT: Jane! GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all. GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?

Ah yes, this conversation, continued previously.

GT: I really need to ask him something but hes got his blasted auto responder turned on. GG: Hoo hoo. GG: I love that thing. :B

Huh, I wonder what kind of conversations Jane and the responder have together. Jane doesn’t seem like the type to put up with too much bullshit.

Seriously, what is the deal with the vine? Also I thought that can said ‘Korn’ for a second and flipped out.

You are curious about Jane's dream. Sounds like it almost certainly has to do with your imminent adventure. You'll have to remember to get the scoop on that a little later.

RRUUAAARRRGH.

You have to go downstairs to check something out. You are pretty sure you know what you're going to find though.

Well, that’s mysterious, and a bit ominous.

You almost trip on the vine creeping up the stairs. Stupid vine. It's too bad your grandma's dead. She always had a way with keeping the flora in check.

Hmm. I’ve been talking about how all their houses are the same as the original kids’, but Jake’s is actually rather different. Did her garden get super out of control in this universe?

OH MY GOD IT IS PUMPKINS. And... is that a dreambot capsule?

Yeah, just like you thought. Empty. The thing is out there somewhere. Waiting for you. Oh god.

How can it be waiting for him if he’s awake? :|a

Speak of the devil fucking dickens.

Heh heh. Only, when he said it before, he didn’t put a space in it, and now I’m picturing Satan sticking it to Charles Dickens. So thanks for that image, Hussie.

TT: Hey, it's me. GT: Oh hey! TT: The auto-responder, I mean. GT: Dammit!

Wow, I actually kind of feel bad for the auto responder, if it’s at all sentient.

GT: Dammit! GT: What is it now? TT: I'm just wondering, TT: If you still have your stupid old-fangled knickers in a twist. TT: Because that's the sort of thing you would say. GT: In regard to what exactly? TT: To my proposal. Well, our proposal. GT: Whose proposal now? Man what are you even prattling about.

So I know I just read what the proposal actually is, but I had a half second of ‘YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED’ before I caught on.

TT: Mine and DS's. It's a joint proposal. I'm always authorized to speak on his behalf, because I'm basically fucking him. TT: And try not to take those last four words as a clustered literal sentiment. That would be lame and unfunny.

AHAHAHA BECAUSE I LITERALLY JUST DID THAT. Is that also a reference to the curiously spaced ‘devil fucking dickins’ above?

GT: You mean making the rabbit for me? TT: No, I know you don't want that. TT: I meant my recommendation for how to go about procuring a new supply of uranium. TT: Operation U-235 Brocurement. Codename: Big Man Hass the Rock.

Hahaha. So, we know that SBaHJ exists as a movie in this universe, but it seems the comics somehow also exist, unchanged enough that Bro/his auto responder can quote them.

GT: Oh yeah. GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Oh jeez. Did Bro like... modify the dream bot or something?? Otherwise why/how the hell would it be hunting him???

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. GT: I do! GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.

Pahahahaha.

GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win. TT: It seems you are conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat. TT: Any useless fuckwit knows it's all about the journey.

Ok, there’s a few things going on here. Some assumptions we can make:

This uranium-powered robot Jake is looking for is going to try and fight him, a la Equius’s robots.

This has happened before.

Jake generally loses.

Also, I noticed the auto responder said ‘it seems’ again. And finally, “conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat” and “it’s all about the journey” sound AWFULLY like Hussie imparting to us some meta commentary about Homestuck itself. I’ve tried to keep away from ending spoilers as much as possible, but I’ve kind of pieced together that reactions to the ending were mixed. Was he sneakily trying to head off any disappointment at the pass here, by reminding us how much we’ve loved what came before?

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake? GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! GT: And it seems there is a BILLION POINT BILLION percent chance that youre a shitty stubborn jerk of a program who wont listen to reason and that if theres even a 1% chance my REAL LIFE FRIEND would be cool and help me out here then i think i LIKE THOSE FREAKIN ODDS!!!!! TT: It... TT: Appears TT: That you are upset.

...If that thing isn’t at least somewhat sentient and intentionally fucking with him, I’ll eat my douchey orange hat.

TT: The auto-responder observed in the least artificially infuriating way possible.

Bahahaha. Yep, I stand by that.

TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

...Hmm. Well, I was under the impression that the responder was contained entirely in the shades, but maybe it’s just shades connected to a remote robot body? Also, I really don’t think Jake’s got it right. If the thing is capable of purposefully fucking with him for its own enjoyment, it probably really is capable of emotion, insofar as it was programmed to experience it. Then again, what and why would Bro program it to feel?

TT: I think you knowingly confuse the field of robotics and artificial intelligence to engender some sort of cavalier attitude about technology that a rough-and-tumble guy who's all about brawling and fisticuffs would probably have, and if this is cultivated to a humorous effect then I commend you.

Ohhh, I see. I could have just kept reading. So the responder really is contained within the glasses, and has specifically called itself an AI. This is cool; I love AI tropes! How did it get programmed? Does it resent the fact that it’s confined to a pair of shades? Does it follow Asimov’s laws? :D

TT: But you're wrong. TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks.

GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case. TT: No problem.

‘I’m sorry if I offended you’? That’s a pretty cop-out apology, but the shades don’t seem to mind.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me...

Well, I mean, the program is technically intended to replace Bro when he’s unavailable to chat, though Jake has a point about it insisting on its false identity.

GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct... uh... THING from my buddy.

Not ‘person’ or ‘entity’? Damn, Jake, dass cold.

GT: Man where IS he anyway??? GT: Is he taking one of his legendary infinite showers? TT: What can I say. TT: Dude fancies his ablutions.

[INSERT MASTURBATION JOKE]

GT: Whatever i guess its time to prepare for the thrill of the hunt! TT: Fuck yes. GT: Sigh... GT: But seriously that brobot has been the bane of my existence ever since you sent it.

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Ok, so it’s NOT a dreambot; it is apparently some sort of... bro...bot that Bro sent him. Was it actually built for the express purpose of fucking with him?

AAAAAAH, ROBOT!! So either Bro really is in the shower, doing whatever (papping?), or else he’s actually a robot. I’m... guessing it’s the former. So who is this little guy? He’s wearing a hat like a tool, but he’s actually kinda cute. A sparring robot a la Equius?

TT: I didn't send it. I sent the parts. TT: Or, correction, DS sent them. TT: You then assembled it. You were therefore complicit in your own spectacular, daily humiliations. GT: Yeah whatever. TT: You wanted somebody to wrestle with. DS was being a kickass bro if you ask me. GT: I didn't expect it to be nigh impossible to spar with!!!

Hah. So maybe Bro’s robot isn’t a sparring bot, but Jake’s is, and he sucks at fighting it. Does he just suck at fighting in general, or is it a terrifying deathbot, and therefore justified?

TT: You know damn well there are adjustable difficulty settings. TT: I have always recommending setting it to Novice, as has DS. GT: Yes. GT: I know. GT: Ive tried that. TT: Yeah? GT: Its just... GT: Well... GT: When hes pulling punches... GT: And taking it all easy and such... GT: And we start wrestling up a storm and whatnot... GT: Umm. TT: What. GT: Its just that the whole proceeding seems to become... GT: A bit tender for my liking.

Oh dear god.

TT: I don't understand. TT: Isn't that what you want from a Novice setting? TT: Sparring with minimal discomfort?

Oh, don’t play dumb; you know exactly what he meant.

GT: Its all fine and dandy martially speaking. GT: Just the way he... GT: Sort of... GT: Man its so awkward trying to convey this just never mind. TT: No, I think I get it. TT: You're saying you were somehow dissatisfied within the presence of my robotic avatar's personal space.

Huh, so is the “brobot” an extension of the AI’s awareness? Can it actually control the robot body? In which case, maybe it’s just the auto responder who has a thing for Jake. Is this some kind of ‘if only I were a real boy’ thing? A Pinocchio metaphor certainly wouldn’t be inapropos. Or should I say, INAPROBRO?? :D :D :D

TT: Seriously, what does this simple, loyal brobot have to do to prove his worth to you? TT: What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know.

Eeeecchhhhh. I think I just crossed my legs harder.

TT: Check it out, little green rocks all over the goddamn place. More than you could ever hope to cram in a shoddy metal rabbit, or any other pliable orifice which might be convenient.

Is that a thinly veiled ‘shove it up your ass’? :P

TT: Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all trotting around with your fancy fuckin' DNA and shit.

Is this ironic aggravation, or real aggravation? It’s honestly hard to tell.

GT: Fuckin....... GT: SHUCKS buster. :(

Ahahahaha.

Ok if he wants happy hunting you will GIVE him happy hunting. HAPPILY.

Woo woooooo!! I have no idea where this will go, but he already seems like a much more self-assured Page than Tavros was. Unfortunately we’ll have to wait just a bit to see how it turns out, because that’s all from me for today! I’ve got weekend work coming up (booo) but I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I’m able, and there’s still plenty of fanwork fest backlog I can chip away at.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 66 #Act 6 #A6A1

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