#i should’ve taken ur feelings into consideration bc if nothing else the time spent together meant something

[stuckinapril]

used to daydream about fairytale reconciliations after pretty much every platonic or romantic fallout i ever had, but sometimes it’s healthier to just accept that someone will never own up bc they don’t think you’re worth the trouble. anyone who truly cares would move mountains just to make sure that they communicate w you if they truly want to rectify the situation. but sometimes it’s their ego getting in the way, sometimes they have a narrative of you in their head they’re determined not to break, and sometimes they just don’t care enough about you to even consider it. they don’t have respect for the friendship or relationship in its posthumous state bc it was nothing to them, or at the very least it doesn’t eclipse their pride or their desire to appear correct in a situation or just outright the need to be done w the situation rather than be a good person. still guilty of this but i’ve been getting better at just nipping the delusion in the bud and just being okay w accepting that someone truly does not care. until they prove they do that is the assumption i go w every time. and it is saving me a lot of heartache

#i held out on my ex for MONTHS after we broke up thinking he’d hit me up and be like yo sorry #u did not deserve the way that went down. i should’ve gone about it better #i should’ve taken ur feelings into consideration bc if nothing else the time spent together meant something #even if in the present moment it’s done and i don’t see us going back #i think i owe u that. at the very least in honor of what we had #but did he say any of those things #NO #i’m fine #i’ve had this happen w friendships too like people are just ruthless sometimes and they justify it or just don’t care enough to be better #trying to microdose on delusion less and accept things for what they are #these tags are a roller coaster but i’m keeping them in anyway bc i need something to look back at this weekend #p