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#just gotta hope. for no long covid

empressdede · 9 months

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Remember the time

This is my first time writing something and publicly publishing it. This is based off the Remember the time by Michael Jackson. Pleaseee show some love lol. I do want to say that the OC is a black character but anyone can read. I was inspired to write this because of @raya-hunter01 & @whatdoeseverybodywant Let me know what you guys think!

Pairing: Kiyah (OC) x Jimmy uso. (Theres not enough Jimmy Uso fics on here. I did it for my man.)

Warnings: cursing, smut, smoking, long read.

Bold italics are thoughts, italics are both dialogue during a smut scene and when anything is referenced. Red bold italics are the song lyrics

Word count: 9,581.

Summary: Jimmy comes back to New York after Money In The Bank and Remembers the time he had with Kiyah.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

An uneasy feeling settled in Jimmy’s stomach ever since he found out that New York was the next arena after Money In The Bank. Being in the city was as the ghost of her was going to trailing over him. It’s been three months since he’s last seen her and he wasn’t healed but it was easier to be away from here. Being here reminded him of everything he used to love to do… with who he loved to do it with.

Do you remember, when we first met girl?

When Covid hit and the whole world was forced to stay quarantined at home, due to being in a really depressive state, Kiyah really isolated herself from everyone. She was in a funk that she desperately wanted to get rid of, and in late 2020 when her favorite cousin Bianca, called her to inform that she was going to be in Tampa, FL for work until further notice, Bianca invited Kiyah to stay with her and Tez. Kiyah packed her bags and caught the first available flight to Florida, leaving her life behind in New York. She attended all the smackdown shows with Bianca, watching how she was really dominating in the women division as a newbie.

Backstage if she wasn’t hanging out with Bianca, she was hanging out with Dawkins and Tez. The wrestlers were actually pretty funny to be around, the girls were nicer than she thought they would be - Well, except for a couple who didn’t really matter - and the guys were funny to be around. She would walk around the halls aimlessly when it became too much to be around and one day, she found herself bumping into Jimmy…. literally.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.” Kiyah quickly apologized to the person, her eyes slitting up to fixate her gaze on the man she bumped into. His smile took her breath away, damn who was he?

“You good, it was my fault I wasn’t looking where I was going. You okay?” He asked.

Kiyah nodded her head, not trusting her voice at the moment. She knew she would embarrass herself if she stayed in this man’s presence any longer. Clearing her throat, she tries to excuse herself. “Well, I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait…. Are you a new hire? I’ve never seen you before?” Jimmy asked before she could walk away.

“No, I’m Bianca’s cousin. Just here to give my support while I can.” Kiyah replied and Jimmy nodded his head understanding.

“That’s lit. Well, I hope you’re feeling welcomed. I know being around a whole bunch of athletes can be intimidating.”

She let out a small huff of laughter. “Please. You guys eat more junk food than anyone I know. Wings and Pizza every other Wednesday… Really?” She asked teasingly which caused Jimmy to laugh.

“Aye, we work hard. Gotta enjoy ourselves somehow.”

“I bet.”

Jimmy flashed another smile to her, who was this girl? “I never caught your name?” He asked.

“I never gave it. Seeing as you bumped into me, I think it’s only right you introduce yourself first.” Kiyah suggested.

“Could’ve sworn we bumped into each other.”

Kiyah shrugged her shoulders playfully, a small smile eased its way into her face. “I never denied that but enlighten me anyways.”

Jimmy chuckled, raising his hand out to her, “My name is Jimmy, and you are?”

Kiyah reached her hand out to clasp their hands together and shook it. “Kiyah. Kiyah Blair.” She introduced.

Do you remember when we fell in love?

“How long is it going to take you to come over here?” Kiyah asked over the FaceTime call as she continued to clean her room, folding the laundry on her bed. Her best friend Jimmy glanced at the screen to watch her for a quick second before turning his attention back to the road.

“It won’t take me too long, I just gotta make a stop somewhere before I come. Make sure you leave that door unlocked for me; you know I don’t like to wait.” Jimmy instructed.

Kiyah smacked her teeth, dropping the shirt she was folding on the bed and turned to face the screen. “Boy, how you gone tell me what to do with my own shit? Imagine trynna run my house.”

“Imagine playing with my face like you not finna leave the door unlocked for me anyways, know who to play with Kiyah.” Jimmy retorted back to her, not even turning to look at the screen.

And maybe she shouldn’t have thought it but as she continued to stare at her who she considered her best friend drive, she focused on the featured on his face and bit her lip because why did he have to be so damn fine?

After realizing a couple seconds of seconds of silence filled the air, Kiyah smacked her teeth again. “Okay Jimmy whatever. Just hurry up, it’s your turn to cook and I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lemme go make this quick stop and Imma be over there.” He stated before he quickly hung up the phone.

Kiyah let out a small huff and let herself scan the room before her eyes caught the mirror. Should I change? She thought about it but opted against it, he’d already seen her outfit over FaceTime, so there was no point. Deciding to distract herself from overthinking, she picked up the shirt she had dropped and started folding again to clear her bed. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jimmy walked into the house with his hands full of treats, dropping them on the table. Kiyah walked out the kitchen and her eyes immediately met his, locking eyes with him.

“You just gonna stand there or you gone tell me wassup?” He asked, raising his eyebrow at her with a small grin on his face. Kiyah rolled her eyes before walking to him and they took each other into a strong embrace, rocking back and forth.

“Does that mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” She asked teasingly

“You know I can’t stay mad at you Ma.”

Kiyah’s heart seized at his words, pulling back from the hug, the bags on the table catching her attention making a smile etch its way on her face.

“No way you went to India’s Grill halfway across town, aren’t you on a diet right now? Jey’s gonna have that ass if he finds out you cheating again.”

Jimmy let his head fall as a dramatic groan slipped through his lips. “Jey not gonna know shit if you don’t tell ‘em nothing.”

Jimmy walked passed her to make his way to her living room, walking around as if he paid the bills to her home. He sat down on her couch, placing his feet on her coffee table and one hand behind his head. “You gone snitch on me Ma? After everything we been through?”

Kiyah shook her head as if she was disagreeing but in reality, she was trying to get herself together. Here was Jimmy: in an all black hoodie, no shirt underneath, cuban link peeking through the part that was unzipped, black joggers and all white forces. Fuuucckk, who told him to look this good.

“Now you know I don’t be telling nobody yo damn business” she finally replied as she walked to the door to lock it. Jimmy took that time to roam over the outfit Kiyah seemed to have on.

Itty bitty tight ass spaghetti strap crop top with matching booty shorts to go with it.

“You was expecting someone else to come before me?” He asked, catching her gaze.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I know you ain’t wearing that for David lame ass.”

Kiyah rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time. Jimmy never liked anyone she called herself entertaining, always calling them lame, but she couldn’t be too mad… she kept that same energy with all his other bitches too.

“Please be so serious right now. I wore this for myself.” Kiyah stated, walking to the couch to take her seat next to him. Jimmy let his feet fall from the coffee table, opting to be in his most comfortable position, man spreading. He cut his eyes at her as he rubbed his beard.

“Hmm, for yourself huh?”

“Yes, for myself.”

Licking his lips, he slowly nodded his head in amusement. He pulls a blunt of his pocket and pats his other side for a lighter. “Can you light me up? I think I forgot my lighter in the car.”

Kiyah reached forward for the ashtray that was right next to him on the couch, grabbing the lighter that was settled there from the last time they smoked together. Jimmy raised his arms, wrapping it tight around her body and moved her so that her legs was over his lap making her straddle him.

From that action alone, she knew he was already high. She watched as he placed the blunt in-between his lips and looked up at her waiting for her to light him up. Kiyah squeezed her legs against his and felt her heart clench at the eye contact. She bit her lip, flickering the lighter and leaning back slightly to avoid the smoke to get in her face when she lit him up.

A small smirk formed on his face when he felt her squeeze him, but he said nothing, taking a hit of his blunt instead. “Whatchu nervous for?” He asked, voice low now, blowing the white cloud of smoke towards her teasingly.

“Jimmy…. please stop playing with me.”

“Who said I was playing?” He asked raising an eyebrow, waiting for her response and when she stayed silent, he just chuckled. “Closed mouths don’t get fed you know?”

Kiyah ignored him, taking the blunt from his mouth and placing it in hers; inhaling the strong substance for the courage that she was going to need for this conversation. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jimmy let his hands start to caress her legs, rubbing them up and down. His brown orbs roaming over her outfit once again, his eyes catching her hardening nipple through her thin ass shirt. “Don’t wear this shit for nobody else, you hear me?”

“Jimmy-” She starts to protest but he cut her off.

“You hear me Kiyah? Don’t wear this shit for nobody else. I’m not playing with you.”

You could cut the tension with a knife, but she didn’t understand how they got here so fast. His hands trailed up, gripping on her ass to push her closer to him making her pussy press against his dick. Kiyah takes a small sharp breath in, one of her hands moving to rest on his shoulders as she locked eyes with him.

A small smirk took over her face now, “who said I was playing?” she replied, placing the blunt back in her mouth to take one last pull. When she leaned back to blow the smoke away from him, his right hand swiftly cupped her jaw, bringing her closer to him parting his lips to inhale the smoke she needed to exhale.

Kiyah’s felt her skin heat up as she shotgun her last hit to him. Her heart felt as if it were to beat out of her chest. Jimmy and her played the game of push and pull. They flirted with each other and got super touchy but that was all that ever happened. They’ve kissed once at a Christmas party, a year ago and they were both drunk off their asses. And even then, nothing compared to the feeling that tonight gave them.

“Jimmy.” Kiyah whispered and Jimmy let his gaze flicker from her lips to her eyes.

“Say it.” Jimmy demanded in a low tone. The octave of his voice dropped so low; Kiyah felt goosebumps form on her skin from just his voice alone. Say it. He said as if he knew what was going through her head.

“Say what?”

“Say it Kiyah…. We both grown. Just say it.”

A million things ran through her mind. Surely, he wasn’t saying what she thought he was saying. Because they’re just friends; always have been… right?

“Jimmy… I-“ she started but was stuck. She tried to push herself from him, she needed space. She couldn’t think being so close to him. Not with his hands on her, or his smell overwhelming her. But his hands held her in place.

“Jimmy, we’re friends-“ she was cut off.

“We ain’t no fuckin’ friends and we haven’t been just friends for a while now.”

“Jimmy that’s not funny” she whispered shaking her head. This has to be a joke, and I’m not laughing. “Whatever joke you’re playing at- “

“I like you Kiyah. No jokes, no pranks no tests. Sober or high it’s all the same. I like you.” Jimmy stated wrapping both arms around her body to lock her in an embrace, he shifted to get comfortable and that caused him to grind against her making a small whimper leave her mouth.

“Say it.” He whispered this time, but she refused. Instead, she leaned forward pushing their lips together to lock their lips in a kiss.

Do you remember, back in the fall. We’d be together all day long.

The phone buzzing consistently was the only thing Kiyah could hear from her sleep. She lets out an annoyed groan. who the hell is calling at this time? She raised from the bed to grab her phone, and answered it without looking at the caller I.D.

“What.” She answered.

“Damn Ma, that’s how you greet me after 3 days of phone tag?” Jimmy’s voice was heard through the phone. And even though it caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach, she was tired.

“Baby… I’m tired. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately.” Kiyah admitted.

“That’s cause you swear you can’t sleep unless it's on top of me.” He jokingly replies and she lets out a small laugh.

“You’re so warm and cuddly, I feel safe enough with you to go to sleep.” She shyly confesses. “I can’t wait to see you next week.”

“Girl when you see me next week, ain’t finna be no sleeping.”

“Aht Aht, Lemme sleep baby. You know I be sleepy.”

“Well take yo sleepy ass to the door. I had Roman deliver something expensive and I just got the message that it’s outside.”

Kiyah smacked her teeth. “What I tell you about buying me expensive gifts? I just be wanting your love.”

“You my princess, you know I gotta spoil you. Now go open the door and tell Daddy you love him for the gift."

Kiyah slides off the bed to trudge towards the front door. Jimmy has gotten into the habit of buying Kiyah gifts once she starts feeling lonely because he’s unable to be there for work. Last month he had bought her tickets to see her favorite singer, Justin Bieber. She always told him the gifts were unnecessary, but he was stubborn, swore he just wanted to drown her in gifts just to see her smile.

Kiyah slowly opens the door, to be met with Jimmy and his contagious smile which caused her to yell and jump on him. Wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his waist and she let the tears that she didn’t know were going to fall…fall. Jimmy caught her with one hand around her waist and walked into the house, kicking the door shut with his foot.

“I thought you were coming next week.” She asked tearfully, keeping her face in his neck and tightening her grip on him as if she couldn’t believe he was here.

“I know when you need me. Two nights ago you said you had a horrible night so I came running.”

Kiyah pulled her face back from his neck and placed multiple pecks on his lips. “Thank you, Papa.” She whispered and he chuckled, pecking her lips one more time.

“You know I got you.” He replied, setting down his bag on the floor and walked towards the bedroom. “Now let’s get you some sleep. I know before this you was tossing and turning.” He stated knowingly and Kiyah knew she wasn’t going to fall asleep just yet. Not when her heart was racing with him making his presence known.

“Are you hungry? I made some honey glazed chicken and rice earlier; I can get you some.” She offered, but Jimmy laid her on the mattress, kicking his shoes off and slid in right beside her.

“How bout we just relax. You know you tired, stop fighting yo sleep and lay down.” And it wasn’t a suggestion. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it blindly behind him, grabbing kiyah and pull her on top of him and wrapped one arm around her and his other hand grasping her leg to move it up so it was over his waist. “When we wake up later, it’ll be just us and you can feed me all you want.”

Kiyah presses a kiss to his chest where his heart was located. “I love you.” She whispered before settling herself on him, cheek pressed against his chest as she closed her eyes to try to fall asleep.

“I love you too Mama.” He murmured softly, rubbing the hand that was behind her back to help her fall asleep.

___________________________________________

When Kiyah woke up, it was due to the slight heavy movement on top of her. Her body felt rejuvenated from the almost 10 hours of sleep she had seemed to have gotten. Lifting her hand to rub her eyes to wipe the sleep from her eyes before she slowly opened them, looking down to see that Jimmy flipped their positions, his head positioned on top of her breasts and his arm sprawled across her stomach.

She blinked a few more times to make sure she wasn’t tripping, but sure enough the events of last night flooded her mind and it reminded her that she wasn’t just imagining the scene that took place in front of her. Kiyah absentmindedly raised her hand to rub the arm that was laying across her stomach. Even though he was here just for the night, she can smell already smell his scent overpowering her space. Dark. Earthy. Cedar wood. The heat emanating from him brought comfort to her.

I could wake up like this for the rest of my life. She thought to herself. The light coming from the Windows showed that it wasn’t too early in the morning, if she had to guess it was around 10 in the morning. Shutting her eyes, she took in the moment of him being home. There were days when she would try to self-sabotage her blessings and push Jimmy as far away from her as she could, but he always fought for her. Always. For these past three years it’s been Jimmy and Kiyah, never just Jimmy and never Just Kiyah. It made her very appreciative of him being in her life. She’s never been loved the way Jimmy loved her, and it scared her because she loved just as hard as he did… maybe even more so.

While she continued to trail her hand against his skin, Kiyah was slowly falling back asleep in this solace of her bedroom. She felt Jimmy shift from her chest to nestle his face in her neck to get more comfortable and they both drifted back to sleep.

Another hour went by before a loud ringing blared throughout the room, jolting her awake. Jimmy let out a tired groan, tightening his grip around her.

“Jimmy.” She whispered. He shook his head refusing to wake up, just to answer the phone.

He lazily moved his arm from across her to grab his phone from his back pocket and handed it to her. “Put it on silent mode and go back to sleep.”

Kiyah softly chuckled, taking his phone and placing it on silent mode. “I’m up baby. I know you’re jet lagged so I’m going to let you sleep.” Jimmy let out another groan when Kiyah tried to slide out of the bed.

“C’mon baby. Just stay for a little bit.” He begged.

“I gotta pee. I’ll be back.” She comprises and he smack his lips letting her go.

——————————————————————————

The soft tune of Nothing can come between us by Sade was heard throughout the kitchen and Kiyah bumped her head softly to the beat and sang as softly as she could while whisking the the eggs she was preparing.

“In the middle of the madness, when the time is running out and you’re left alone. All I want is you to know that… it’s strong still can’t pull us apart. Nothing can come, nothing can come, nothing can come between us.” Kiyah softly sang, moving her hips to the melody of the music.

The knock on her door was loud, making her head snap up to look towards the door. Jimmy quickly came from around the corner where her room was, heading towards it.

“Don’t move, Imma answer it.” He said unlocking and opening the door revealing Bianca. “Wassup B.” He greeted, stepping to the side to let her in.

Bianca was shocked to see Jimmy at her cousin’s house. She took notice that he had not only made himself comfortable enough to answer the door but that he was wearing the same same clothes he left the airport in. So, this was the business he had to take care of in New York? She thought to herself before flashing him a knowing smile. “Hey Jimmy – I see you’re here early.” She teased as she stepped in and walked pass him.

He just chuckled and shook his head, closing the door back and locking it. “Yeah I Had a couple things to take care of.”

Bianca watched Jimmy walk away, eyes following him until he disappeared into the room. With amusement shining in her eyes, her head snapped towards the kitchen and Kiyah was standing there smiling; looking all innocent when she was clearly guilty.

“Hey Bianca, I totally forgot we had plans today. How you doing?”

Bianca raised her eyebrow at her and a smiled etched its way on her face again. “Well good morning to you. It smells so good in this bitch. Anyways – are you gonna spill the tea or what? Cause it looks like Jimmy ‘he’s just my best friend’ Uso spent the night and now you up making him breakfast when we had plans to go to brunch.” She asked, taking a seat at the kitchen island.

Kiyah snorted and turned back around to pour the eggs in the nonstick skillet. “You’re so damn nosey.”

“I’m even nosier when I’m realizing he went to your room instead of the guest room.” Bianca replied.

Kiyah shrugged her shoulders as a response, scrambling the eggs in front of her. She thought about how these past four months has changed the dynamic between her and Jimmy after his confession in her living room. The transition from friend to lover was easier than she thought it would’ve been.

“Baby.” Jimmy called out, walking out the room with a hoodie and some shoes. “I’m finna be back real quick.” He said as he entered the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Kiyah asked, turning her head to look up at him.

“I’m out of gars so I’m finna hit up the closest gas station. Imma call Jey back since he been blowing my shit up. I know you guys haven’t seen each other in a while so I want y’all to catch up.”

“But I’m making breakfast for you.” Kiyah acknowledges, sliding the skillet off the stove top.

Jimmy chuckles, pressing his chest against her back. He places his hands on her waist as he watches over her what she made. French toast on two sets of plates on one side of the stove and the freshly scrambled eggs being served next to it.

“Make B something to eat and I’ll be back so we can eat okay.” He suggests, turning her around to wrap his arms around her waist fully, hand gripping on her ass as he leans down to softly peck her lips twice.

“Alright. Hurry back, okay?” She asks, keeping her voice low, raising her hands to caress his arms. “I don’t want your food to be cold and nasty when you eat it.”

“I’ll be right back I promise.” Jimmy pecks her lip one last time before pulling himself away from her to walk out the kitchen. “See you later B.” He calls out as exits the house.

The entire time, Bianca had sat in her seat shocked to her core. She watched the interaction closely, taking notes left and right and her tea cup was damn near full at this point. She waited for the door to fully shut before scoffing in disbelief. “Bitch since when do y’all kiss now? Since when the hell did y’all start calling each other baby? What in the world have I missed?” She yelled dramatically, throwing her hands up in the air to emphasize her point.

“Giirrrrllllluuuuhhhhh” Kiyah dragged out, chuckling. “Back in October Jimmy admitted his feelings for me.” She finally confessed, the smile on her face widening as she remembered that night.

“OCTOBER OF LAST YEAR!? BITCH ITS MARCH.” Bianca screamed; eyes so wide it would’ve fell out of her socket if it could’ve.

Kiyah shrugged her shoulder “The titles changed but nothing’s really different, that’s why I never cared to say anything. We’re still the same.”

“Yeah, except now you are getting Jimmy schlong every other night.” Bianca exclaimed.

Kiyah rolled her eyes, “Girl please, I wish. But we have kept it private but not a secret ya know? That’s my man for real and I’m so in love with him, it’s kinda sick.”

“I think it’s cute. A couple years ago you were scared to even put your heart on the line and now look at you.” Bianca really felt her heart swell with joy as she watched her cousin obviously head over heels in love with Jimmy Uso. “I’m happy for you- the both of you, truly.”

Kiyah turned the stove off and walked around the kitchen island to pull her cousin into an embrace. “Thank you B. I really appreciate it.” She stated and she meant it. There are few people who actually knew what went down between her and her ex, what she experienced and what made her so closed off after it; Bianca being one of those few people. It meant a lot to see that she was also able to see the growth when it came to her love life.

“And I love you girl, I really do but once Jimmy get back from smoking, I’m finna feed my man and spend my entire day with him. So about brunch…. Imma have to take a rain check.” She smiled at Bianca’s laugh.

“Alright bitch, I can read the room.”

———————————————————————

After Jimmy had returned from his trip, Kiyah had served breakfast. It brought a different kind of feeling watching him eat her food. In the furthest part of her mind, it made the moment more domestic, made her feel like one day -further down the line of course- that she could do this as his wife.

After breakfast, Jimmy insisted that he clean up the kitchen while she shower. What he really needed was the opportunity to distract her. Jimmy turned the volume up on Alexa, letting the sound of Neat by Q Money take over the silence in the house while he made his way to the coat closet where he had hid what he had returned to the house with.

Opening the coat closet, he pulls out a couple bags filled with what he wanted to do for the rest of day. Jimmy really wanted to treat Kiyah to a night out but he didn’t want to be out today, he just wanted to spend his day as lazily as he could where he found comfort the most. Closing the door, he took the bags and walked to the living room to get started on what he had planned; with Kiyah in the shower he knew he had a cool 45 minutes.

He unpacked everything that came in boxes: the air mattress, the LED tea light candles, the fairy lights, the fake rose petals and got to work with setting up the living room.

After setting up as fast as he could, he walked into her room, his eyes scanning the room looking for a suspiciously quiet Kiyah. “Babe.” He called out, walking towards the bathroom. He catches a glimpse of her doing her face routine, one of his old shirts engulfing her body. “Didn’t you say you never seen where this shirt went?” He asked teasingly as he walks up behind her.

“I have no idea what you talking about, this my shirt.” Kiyah replied, her lips twitched as she tried to fight the smile that wanted to imprint its way on her face.

Jimmy playfully rolled his eyes, “yeah whatever. You gone have to run me most of my shit sooner than later, unless you wanna send me back on the road with nothing to wear.”

Kiyah scoffed, keeping her eyes in the mirror when she looked at him. “Keep playing. If you wanna be outside I can be outside too. “

“You can be outside, Ian worried about shit. I can fight.” Jimmy stated, shrugging his shoulders.

“You say that now, but we all know if I’m in another nigga arms you gone be sick.” Kiyah countered back turning to face him with a small smirk, “You know you love you some me.”

Jimmy watched her with amusement in his eyes, watch her stick her tongue out at him as childishly as she could before turning back to finish applying the clay mask that was in her hands. “Girl please, you damn near passed out when you thought I was entertaining Sasha. I ain’t the only one.” He exposed, laughing when Kiyah’s jaw dropped.

He pulled off his shirt, turning to turn the shower on. “Wanna wash my hair after I’m done with my shower?”

“Can I give you a face mask if I do?” She asked with hopeful eyes when she fully turned around to face him again. Jimmy let out a small chuckle, nodding his head, agreeing with whatever made her heart content at the moment.

Kiyah didn’t want to show how much she missed being around him, but she was finding it difficult to stay away from him. And it wasn’t like he made it easier for her. Like when Jimmy started his shower, she opted to leave the bathroom to finish getting dressed but, Jimmy requested her to stay to keep him company. Sitting on the toilet waiting for her mask to dry while he showered and they both conversed brought back that feeling she was feeling earlier. Domestic.

In her mind she knew it was too early to be thinking these kinds of thoughts but, she’s had feelings for him for two years now, and she couldn’t really remember when she last felt like this. Doesn’t remember the last time anyone ever made her feel so secure.

After washing his hair and keeping his hair wrapped in a towel for it to dry, Kiyah prepared everything she needed to get started on his face. “Just sit still because if you laugh it’s gonna crack.” She warned, and Jimmy smacked his lips.

“This like yo third warning.”

“Because you play too much, I couldn’t even get you to cleanse your face without you playing with the water. Now sit.” She demanded, hands pressing against his shoulders to force him to sit on the toilet so she can apply the mask. He moved freely, letting her push him to sit.

Jimmy let himself relax, closing his eyes and let Kiyah go to work. He didn’t really care for the process of what came with what Kiyah swore was the best skin routine for both him and her. He just wanted to be close to her, the last time they seen each other was almost three weeks ago – almost a month – and he just wanted to be away from the white noise and relish in the quiet refuge that was her home.

Kiyah delicately stroked the brush filled with the clay over his skin as they both fell into a comfortable silence. Nobody else but you by Trey Songz softly playing in the background from the Alexa that was outside and Jimmy couldn’t help but find himself agreeing with the song that seemed to set the mood. He really didn’t want nothing but to be here, with her, didn’t want nobody else but Kiyah.

Jimmy pulled Kiyah closer to him, using his legs to part her legs so that both legs her on each side of his. His hand gripped her waist as he pulled her to take a on his lap. There we go, Jimmy thought once she was seated, fully wrapping his arms around her.

Kiyah continued to apply the mask, the smile she fought to keep off her face grew anyway. It was moments like this where she felt like the luckiest woman in the world. She found someone who was on her just as bad as she was on them. Before she met him, she never thought she would ever meet someone like her, someone who wanted to be around her, touch her, almost all the time. And maybe their time apart played a big role in their affection with each other but Kiyah wouldn’t trade this, wouldn’t trade him, for nothing.

Watching him fully relax under his touch made her heart swell with joy, smiling she leaned down to peck his lips which caused him to open his eyes and softly smile at her. “What you up to?” He playfully asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

“Nothing, I love you.”

“I love you too mama.” He replied without missing a beat, searching her eyes as she stared at him. He leaned up to steal another kiss from her.”How long all this gone take?”

Kiyah placed down everything in her hands on the sink beside her when she finished covering his face with the mask. “We wait 15 minutes for it to dry and then you’re done.”

Jimmy nodded his head, letting his hands start to rub against her legs. “Jey been complaining about how he never see me anymore.” He randomly stated and Kiyah chuckled.

“I don’t blame him, I bet he miss his twin. You guys hung out every time you were off.” Kiyah responded back, letting her hands rub against his chest. “You know you can go to ATL and spend the time with him down there. You know I don’t mind.”

Jimmy let out a small hum, but going to ATL to spend time with his brother wasn’t the problem. It was him wanting to take her with him so that everyone in his life could finally see who’s been taking all of his time. “Would you come with me?” He asked quietly.

“I would go anywhere with you.” She answered and she meant it. Jimmy could ask her to go anywhere and she would go, he was home to her.

Jimmy didn’t signify an answer to her response. He just let his hands trail up from her waist caressing her skin.

“Jimmy.” Her tone came off as her warning him not to start anything.

“Next weekend, He’s throwing a barbecue and our family will be there.” He said, ignoring her warning. “Will you come with me?” He asked.

Kiyah felt her heartbeat pick up. Will you come meet my family? That’s essentially what he is asking her. Yes, she’s already met his brother and yes, she already met Roman – when she spent her time at the Thunderdome arena and they wanted to get to know each other better it required her being around his family. This invite though… it really sounded like will you come meet my parents?

“You want me to meet your mom?” Kiyah asked in a whisper, leaning her body closer to him for a comfort she’s sure they both needed. “You want me to fix your plate in front of everybody to let ‘em know you my man?” She asked playfully.

It eased the nervousness out him, he chuckled and leaned forward to peck her lips. “I wanna show you off to the whole world. I know we ain’t tell nobody yet but I want to. Tell our families anyways.” He answered back to her, shrugging a little.

“I kissed you in front of Bianca on purpose. Wanna show all of ‘em I only want you to fix my plate.” He replied jokingly. His tone softened though as he spoke, his hands trailing up her shirt, rubbing up and down against her back. “I know you ain’t used to the family introductions and all that, but if we’re doing firsts – I wanna experience all of that with you.” He confessed.

Kiyah didn’t reply, she just watched him. Taking in the moment. Here they were, in each others arms, Jimmy’s hair wrapped up in a towel, Clay mask drying on his face while he confessed that he didn’t want to keep their romance a secret from the people who mattered most in their lives.

Could I be any more in love with him? “I’ll meet your parents papa, you can tell the whole world how we locked in, clocked in for the long run.” Despite telling Jimmy not to move his face as much, she couldn’t help but lean in to lock their lips together. Wrapping her arms around his neck as Jimmy deepen the kiss. Kiyah pulled away before they got too carried away.

“Hold on.” She whispered. She reached over on the counter to grab the rag she had placed on the counter. She dipped it in the bowl that had warm water in it now and moved to clean up what she started.

She cleaned his face as gently as she could, throwing the rag in the sink for now and unwrapping the towel from his head. Kiyah was killing two birds with one stone. She took pride in taking care of Jimmy, and this gave her the chance to do so but she was also trying to speed up the process of getting him in her room.

Jimmy let his hands move from her back to her stomach, trailing slowly towards her breasts before he gripped them; fingers tweaking at her nipples.

Kiyah let out a small moan, letting her head fall back from the pleasure. Jimmy leaned up started placing butterfly kisses upon her neck, locating her sweet spot immediately and closing his mouth to suck on it.

“Fucckk.” Kiyah moaned out, bucking her hips against his. Jimmy’s hands, continued to tweak and pull at her nipples before he let one hand slid down to rub against her covered clit.

“This what you was looking for right?” He asked huskily in her ear. Kiyah felt herself shiver at his tone.

Jimmy pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it through her panties, feeling it get soaked with her essence. His other hand left her breast to wrap around her neck. “Look at me, this what you wanted right?” He repeated.

Kiyah forced herself to lock eyes with Jimmy. “Yes” she breathed out as an answer.

Jimmy pulled her in by her neck to kiss her once again. Locking their lips in a passionate kiss, Kiyah bucked her hips against his hand to cause more friction.

He pushed her panties to the side to push two fingers inside of her, groaning into her mouth at how tight and wet she felt. Kiyah let out a gasp when she felt the sudden intrusion, throwing her head back again. Jimmy’s fingers thrusted in and out of her in a slow place causing her to rock her hips against his hands.

“Look at you.” Jimmy cooed as he picked up the pace of his fingers, curling it to touch her g-spot.

“Fuck Daddy, you finna make me cum.” She cried out, eyes rolled to the back of her head. She kept clenching herself around his fingers but he was relentless… he continued to pump his fingers in and out of her.

“Look at me.” He demanded and Kiyah couldn’t bring herself to it, moans slipping out her mouth uncontrollably as she felt a tightening feeling in her stomach.

Jimmy cupped her jaw, forcing her to lift her head and lock eyes. “I want the last thing you see before you cum is me.” He told her, he wanted to watch her love faces as she reached her climax.

“Jimmy please.” She pleaded.

She watched as his darkened eyes as he felt her clench against his fingers again. “Watch me make you cum.” He whispered, picking up the pace of his fingers. “That’s it baby, cum for daddy.”

Kiyah’s eyes rolled to the back of her head and her mouth dropped open as she let out a drawn moan, body shaking as she let herself go cumming all over his fingers. Whimpering as he slowed down to help her ride out her orgasm.

Once she was able to collect herself, he slowly pulled his fingers out of her, flashing her a smile. “You so sexy.”

She just searched his eyes, did this man really have the audacity to smile innocently at her like he didn’t just snatch her up?

He stared at her while he placed both fingers in his mouth, sucking her juices off his fingers. He pulled his fingers out of his mouth and leaned down to kiss her, sliding his tongue in her mouth so she could taste herself.

When he felt her try to deepen the kiss, Jimmy pulled back. “Come outside, I got something I wanna show you.”

It took some convincing to get Kiyah to move from the bathroom to go outside. Kiyah just wanted to jump his bones but he really wanted to show her what he originally had planned for the both of them for the day. And even though it took some convincing, his efforts were not in vain because once she say the living room set up she felt her eyes water.

“Jimmy” she breathed out, her breath hitching in her throat as she took everything in. Jimmy smiled at her reaction, he knew it wasn’t much but he was glad it made her happy. She wrapped her hands around his neck to hug him. She was grateful. “Let me show you how thankful I am daddy.” She whispered in his ear.

Do you remember, those special times? They’ll just go on and on in the back of my mind

Jimmy knew ever since he arrived to ATL that this was where he was going to be. Kiyah really showed out for him, and he wanted nothing more than to push her dress up and bury his face in her pussy. She’s been giving for these past couple of days, and last night on the way to ATL he fell asleep on the flight and woke up to his dick in her throat an hour into the flight and assured him that he didn’t have to do anything in return. I just wanna please you. She had stated in a sultry whisper.

She took him out on a date this morning, insisting that she gets to spoil him as much as he spoils her. They went to waffle House for breakfast, and then went to the aquarium right after. She’s been showing the fuck out in Jimmy… He was going to show her his gratitude, no matter where they were at. After he seen her interaction with his family, how his mother fell in love with her almost immediately and how she stayed in the kitchen to help prep the food, even if she didn’t know what was being made… yeah. He knew he was going to be here.

In between her legs with his arms locked around her thighs and his tongue buried inside of her. Kiyah kept her back in a deep arch, eyes rolled to the back of her head with her mouth gaped open but no sound came from her. He had her in a guest bathroom in his brothers house, and she really didn’t want to get caught.

“Fuck, Jimmy.” Kiyah hissed, making him groan against her and wiggle his tongue inside of her, sliding it out of her to swirl it around her pussy to lap up all of her juices. He licked all the way to her clit, sucking on while grazing his tongue against it.

“Daddy” She moaned out, looking down to watch him devour her, moving her hips to grind her pussy against his tongue. Jimmy flattened his tongue against her clit when he felt her moving her hips, letting her do some of the work. His eyes moving to stare at her and winked on their eyes locked.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Daddy you finna make me cum.” And at that warning, he closed his mouth around her clit again and sucked. He let out a moan, the vibrations sending a euphoric sensation throughout her body. Jimmy tightened his grip on her thighs to keep her in place. Kiyah let out a moan, letting her head fall back as her stomach tightened. “I’m cumming.” She announced as she spilled all into his mouth, panting heavily. Her lower body shook as her orgasm washed through her and Jimmy made sure to catch every drop.

He raised to his feet, hand wrapping around her neck as he drew her in to smash their lips together to lock their lips in a slow sloppy kiss.

“Damn Papa.” She whispered against his lips as she tried to catch her breath and he smirked.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He told her, pulling his pants down so that she could free himself. Kiyah watched Jimmy stroke himself, precum leaking from the tip and she felt herself clench around nothing.

“There’s an entire party going on outside.” Kiyah whispered as if trying to get him to stop but Jimmy wasn’t hearing none of that.

“I don’t give a fuck, I’m boutta fuck you up for real.” He replied pulling her off the sink counter to face the mirror. “And you gone watch me do it.” He whispered huskily in her ear.

Kiyah barely had time to grip onto the sink counter before Jimmy pushed himself into her, curses left both of their mouths as he pushed until their was nothing to push left. Both of them to moan out at the feeling.

“Eyes on the mirror the whole time ma.” He whispered in her ear, causing Kiyah to shiver.

Jimmy stayed still for a second, being raw inside of Kiyah made him want to ruin her life, and if the circumstances were different he totally would’ve.

He placed both hands on her hips and pulling out and thrusting back inside of her, pushing just as deep as he went the first time, every time he slid back in her. Kiyah’s head flew back as moans poured from her mouth.

Jimmy watching her through the mirror, seeing how wreck she looked before he even really got started and an evil smirk spread across his face. One hand moved to grip on her breast, pulling it out of the dress and his other hand found its way to her neck. “What I tell you princess?”

“I-“ Kiyah gasped out, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as he fucked her harder and harder. Her manicured hand moved up to grip onto the wrist of the hand that was wrapped around her neck. It was as if Jimmy was fucking her like he was angry.

“Yesss baby, just like that.” She moaned out.

Watching her love faces always did something to him, he swiftly moved to the left a little to hit her g spot causing Kiyah to let out a loud moan. Jimmy dropped the breast that he was holding and raised his hand to clap it against her mouth. “You know you’re supposed to be quiet, but here you are trynna let the whole world know how much you love this dick.”

His words caused Kiyah to clench around around him tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. Jimmy chuckled deeply. “C’mon Mama, let Daddy in so I can fuck you up.”

He continued to poke at her spot over and over again, making Kiyah moan loudly into his hands. He forced her head back up to face the mirror so she could watch. Tears ran down her face at the intense feeling of him fucking the shit out of her. “You look so pretty like this.” He cooed.

He sped up and only stopped a few couple strokes to really press himself against her spot. “Open ya mouth for me Mama.” He demanded.

Kiyah immediately let her mouth drop open, he stuck two fingers in her mouth. “Suck it.”

Kiyah closed her mouth back around his fingers, humming in pleasure when she mimicked her actions from earlier. She sucked his fingers, her tongue twirling against them and sucked hard. Jimmy felt his dick twitch inside of her, he would ruin her right here and be content with that.

“Keep yo eyes on the mirror, and if they move, I’m not gone let you cum.” He warned. Kiyah felt her body shiver, keeping her eyes on his through the mirror.

Jimmy pulled his fingers out of her mouth and placed them on her clit, rubbing them quickly as he started picking his thrust back up.

The motive to be discreet flew out the window, Kiyah moaning loudly, gripping the counter until her knuckled turned white. “You finna make me cum again.” She cried out.

Jimmy let go of her neck to grip on her braids to make sure her heads positioned the way he wanted it to be. He could feel her walls clench and unclench around him. “That’s a good girl, look at you take all of it.”

“Please don’t stop, I’m right there baby. Oh my fuck.” She cried as he fucked her harder. “Don’t stop daddy, please don’t stop, you’re gonna make me cum.” She begged, watching more tears fall her eyes.

Jimmy let out a grunt, “Daddy gone make that pretty pussy cum every single time.” He affirmed, rubbing her clit in circles. “Gimme that shit baby.” And Kiyah’s upper body stilled as her lower body shook, releasing herself all over him squirting a little.

“Yesssss” She hissed out and Jimmy had to pull out as quickly as he could, nutting on ass.

Wrapping his arms around her, Jimmy let himself drop his weight on her a little.

“Fuck.” He groaned out, pressing a kiss against the back of her neck. “You keep spoiling me like that Ma and I swear Imma keep you cummin’ like that every single time.” He promised.

And Girl, No matter what was said

“Kiyah I just didn’t wanna be rude to her. You know that with my status.” Jimmy argued

“And Jimmy, all that shit was cool when we were friends. But to do that shit in front of my face? Are you fucking serious? Then the bitch gone have the audacity to laugh at me like she did something.”

“Kiyah.” He started but she cut him off.

"No. You keep giving these bitches a reason to laugh at me like I’m some goofy bitch all cause you wanna be so damn friendly." Kiyah stressed

"Being friendly comes with the job Kiyah! Damn, every time I come in this bitch, you in my ear stressing me the fuck out don’t nobody wanna hear that. Can you at least appreciate that I even come in? I don’t gotta be here Kiyah.” He snapped and she nodded her head at him.

“You know what Jimmy? Since you don’t gotta be here, just stop showing up. Since I stress you out so fucking much, forget I even said anything. I’m sick of this shit, I’m done. You definitely don’t gotta worry about me no more.” Kiyah retorted back.

It was supposed to be a good night for the two, they were both leaving the arena when they bumped into a couple fans who just wanted some pictures. It was fine until it wasn’t. What he thought was being friendly was borderline flirting to these girls, they’d take whatever he’d give them and run a mile with. It was fine until he thought it was okay to let the fan touch for way longer than what was appropriate.

“You’re too damn insecure Kiyah when the fuck you gone wake up and realize that? That’s the reason why these other dudes treated you like trash, and you got so much damn baggage that nobody wants to deal with!” Jimmy snapped but the second he said it, he regretted it.

Kiyah froze, his words ringing in her head. Baggage. She had too much baggage.

“Kiyah I didn’t mean that.” He whispered but she sent a watery smile in his direction.

“You know what? Don’t worry about it, from now on you won’t have to worry about me or my baggage.”

And she turned around and left. Jimmy felt his heart break as she walked but his stubbornness is what kept her from chasing her. Unbeknownst to him, that would be the last time he seen her.

I will never forget what we had, my baby.

All the memories of his time in New York came back to him as he drove to the garden arena. He remembered when told him her feelings drunk off her ass after the Christmas party.

He remembers, her home made cooking every time he visited or any time she visited him. He remembers taking care of her when she caught covid.

She was a crying mess when her test came back positive. She did what she did best and isolate herself away from people. Pushing Jimmy away and booked her own hotel so that she wouldn’t pass it on to Bianca and Tez. And at first Jimmy thought she only isolated from him, but when Tez came and asked if he’d heard from Kiyah, he realized she was isolating herself from everyone.

He remembers asking Bianca if she knew what hotel Kiyah had checked into and he remembers bribing the concierge to tell him what her room number was. He remembers pushing himself through the hotel door when she tried to shut the door in his face.

“Jimmy I’m sick, I have covid.” She stressed, moving away from him as fast as she could.

“Kiyah” He whispered when he took in the scene in front of him. She was hurting and she didn’t want to tell anybody.

“You have to get out!”

“Kiyah, I haven’t heard from you in damn near three weeks. What’s going on?” He asked, concern laced in his voice

“I’m sick; that’s what’s going on. Now if you could please leave, I don’t want you to get sick.”

"No. Kiyah you need to stop pushing people away because you’re scared to show people the ugly side of you.”

He remembers Kiyah crying in his arms that night because she finally felt like someone cared for her.

He remembers the first time he told her ‘I love you’. She cried, and told him she was scared to say it back because every time she did, it was for nothing. And He never rushed her to say it back.

He remembers her confessing her love back to him not even a week later because she really couldn’t hold it in. She’s been feeling him for a long time and she refused to keep her feelings to herself any longer. Jimmy remembers everything, and boy did it hurt to.

Do you remember (I bet you remember)

Jimmy let out a sigh as he sat in the bloodline locker room. Even though they were split, They requested to still share the same locker room. It’s quiet, he’s not telling any jokes and he’s getting tired of the worried look’s being shared between his brothers.

“Uce, I’m fine. It’s just one night. It won’t kill me.” Jimmy huffed out and Jey shrugged.

“I wanna believe you Uce, but you been walking around like a sad puppy ever since we landed. Why don’t you just call her?” Jey suggested and Solo nodded, agreeing with his older brother.

“She told me I wouldn’t hear from her again and she meant that shit.” Jimmy sighed. “I can’t just pop up ya know? I wanna respect her and her space.”

Before Jey could reply, a knock was heard on the door. The silence after the knock is what had them confused. Solo moved to answer the door but Jimmy raised his hand to stop him. They didn’t know who that was. The knocking happened again.

“Who is it?” Jey called out and the voice that answered back made Jimmy’s blood run cold.

“It’s me.” Kiyah’s voice was heard through the door.

Jimmy stood up slowly and walked towards the door and he held his breath as he opened the door. “Kiyah.” He breathed out and she flashed a small smile towards him.

“Hi.”

#jimmy uso #jimmy uso x reader #wwe #black reader #the bloodline #solo sikoa #jey uso

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cleolinda · 6 months

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Dear diary

I saw a post around here somewhere, not sure where, about how you might feel low and disappointed after something you were really excited about, like a concert, and it's not because you didn't enjoy it as much as you hoped; it's because you actually had an "I used up all my happy chemicals" crash afterwards, and you basically need to take care of yourself. I think I basically did this to myself re: the entire month of October, and now I'm having a post-Favorite Holiday crash. Like, I wrote and posted thousands of words, and now I'm just sort of limp. Which is great, until you say, "Hey, I have a thing where you sign up to read my writing on a monthly basis." I've done Weekend Links regularly, at least.

I specifically feel really fatigued in my... hands and arms? Like, they feel difficult to lift, even? I associate this (and a particular kind of head-hanging exhaustion) with long covid, so it's possible my flu shot and my immune system didn't play as well together as I hoped. But, like, I've been dealing with long covid for years now; it is what it is. Do vitamins about it.

I'm drafting sort of a catch-up post for Dreamwidth, as a way of clawing myself back to productivity. Which, I don't mean "productivity" in a MUST PRODUCE TO JUSTIFY EXISTENCE way, just... I want to produce and write and create, I want to exchange the work of my brain for currency, I gotta figure my shit out.

But November is blah. I just... I don't care much for Thanksgiving (no candy, no gifts, no festive lights, absolutely terrible color scheme, casseroles that my autism can't handle, Pilgrims), and so for me, November is just this big lull between holidays. December is always a lot more fun to me, given that my sister and I both have our birthdays mid-month. Granted, for the last few years, my birthday has tended to be horrific (I will probably write about the one I spent in a surgeon's office. The birthday where we all tested positive for covid and had to go into a two-week quarantine isn't actually that interesting), so I should honestly be a little wary of December. But I love the glittery, liminal, holiday-by-night aesthetic. I definitely want to write about that, if I can think how to explain Liminal Christmas.

#me for some reason #odds and ends #health

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wildpeachfarm · 1 month

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Hi! I hope you’re doing good

I’ve seen a few anons mention how it’s okay to only be here for Dream/dteam. And how a lot of the other Minecraft-based CCs are seemingly jealous of all the success Dteam have had, and think that deplatforming them will make way for us to move to their content. And I want to say I agree.

I became a fan of (dream first, then SNF) them in 2020 when it was peak Covid time. I was a sophomore in college, and my brother was in kindergarten; I was trying to find things to relate with him, and stumbled into the Minecraft sphere, cause he likes Minecraft. I was hoping to find someone current and semi-child friendly, and I stumbled upon dreams videos. I watched them first before showing them to my little brother, and after deciding I liked them, we now watch dreams videos together.

As someone who had limited access to the internet as a kid, and knows like next to nothing about Minecraft, I’m really only here for Dteam. Cause I enjoy their content and it brought my brother and I closer. If I stop being a fan of Dteam, I’m honestly probably going to just leave the Minecraft sphere altogether, considering Dteam are what’s keeping me here (not that I haven’t met some amazing people, but you get what I mean).

It’s very telling the agenda of these CCs the more I become offline and take a look at the bigger picture. I said this earlier, but their content is based on a fleeting hatred for the internets current punching bag. If they ever stop expressing hatred or, god forbid, Dteam get deplatformed, all the “fans” they think they had will be gone. Because with no common perceived enemy, there’s nothing keeping them tied to those creators. And so they’ll go back to whatever they were doing before-hand.

I wanted to extend some semblance of sympathy to these CCs, cause it’s really hard to make a career out of this, but they’re also going about it the wrong way, and my sympathy doesn’t exist anymore. If the only content you have is performative activism, then maybe you should consider a different career path.

Adding on to that, let’s say I do stop watching Dteam, or the “behind the scenes” stuff wasn’t just petty grievances. Why would I then go watch the people that have been harassing, bullying, threatening the same people I was just a fan of the entire time I was their fan? If dteams morals are so bad, what makes theirs any better? And why would I support theirs, when I wouldn’t support someone else’s bad morals? (Again, hypothetical, cause I’m still a fan and all the “bts” stuff ARE petty grievances).

They’re so blinded by their hatred and jealousy that they cannot see they’re destroying their own careers with this. There’s a reason outside of Twitter, a lot of people don’t know who these creators are, and the only reason they do is because they stick their noses everywhere.

It’s become apparent the last few weeks that outside of Twitter- where their core fanbase IS NOT- people are seeing these CCs for what they are and it’s driving them away from any content they might produce. They’re driving away potential fans acting like this, and they can’t even see it, cause they’re so focused on dteam (mainly dream). Maybe focus on your own career, before trying to take down someone else’s, especially when you have nothing career-ending over them.

So again, why would I stop being a fan of people I liked for so long, and stuck around for the good, bad, ugly, and sometimes dangerous (gotta love doxxing /sar), to immediately go be a fan of people that contributed to the absolute onslaught of horrid treatment of the people I was a fan of? It doesn’t make sense.

Unlike them, I’m not going to compromise my morals and make a big public spectacle to then privately do the opposite. I dropped Wilbur after Shelby came out with her story. I was more than willing to drop Dream if his allegations were proven correct, and the same goes for George. That’s what these CCs don’t understand. I’m a human first before I’m a fan. And that humanity stays with me wherever my interests take me.

Sorry it’s so long; I know you probably have a lot of asks. But still appreciate you taking the time to read this anyway.

Have a good day, my favorite source of tea!

-L :)

Thank you for sharing L ! I think you bring up some very good points about consuming content/CCs and just Being A Person

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

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poisonedapples · 10 months

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Things that being born with no sense of smell affects:

- Cleaning. Cleaning is an absolute nightmare to me, because I never actually know if a mess is cleaned up or not. My dog vomited on the kitchen floor, and even though wiping it away made it LOOK clean to me, I had no way to tell if it still smelled like vomit or not. I also had no idea what I could use to cover up a smell that may or may not be there

- Memory. Your sense of smell is one of, if not the biggest memory retrieval device. Non-anosmics remember a lot of things based on what they’re smelling. For me, it’s one less sense to be able to remember things by, and I do notice that my memory is a lot worse than average

- Taste. Yes, I can taste, never ask an anosmic if they can taste because it is the most annoying question in my experience. But, I do notice that my taste is very dulled down. Lots of food is very bland by default, so eating is very often not a fun experience, and I rely a lot more on texture. It’s very rare to find foods that give me a strong reaction. Hence why I love blue cheese, it’s one of the few things I can eat and actually feel a good kick for

- Human connection. This is one I had to research a little bit and have no idea how true it is, but apparently pheromones which helps you connect to people and sense their emotions is by smelling pheromones??? And I can’t smell pheromones. So I probably have a harder time spotting emotions because of that, but I’m also just autistic, so I have no idea how true this is

- General life safety. I can’t smell gas leaks, so I can never live alone. I can’t detect fires until I see the smoke. Cooking for me is very dangerous, and I don’t leave the kitchen when I have something in the oven because I’m terrified of missing the beep and causing the alarm to go off. I have a MASSIVE fear of my car exploding because something is up with the gas tank and I can’t notice. Also, so many safety things are stuff you have to smell out??? Especially with vehicles??? It’s such bullshit

- CONSTANT smell anxiety. Do I smell??? Is my deodorant still working??? Is that smell people are complaining about coming from me??? No way to tell, baby! You just gotta hope and pray!

For so long in my life, people’s reactions to hearing I have no sense of smell has been “Oh my God, you’re SO lucky you can’t smell farts!” (Which has thankfully dulled down after COVID when everyone lost their smell and really hated it), and it’s the most annoying thing. I am missing one of the major senses. Missing a major sense affects everything about your life, whether it’s noticeable or not. If we could start seeing anosmia as something more than “Can’t smell cookies or farts”, I would GREATLY appreciate it

#happy disability pride month #If we could start calling anosmia a disability I would appreciate it #Theres also a lot of small things that it affects that I didn’t feel like mentioning #Essential oils dont work on me which is fun #bird chirps #(Also hell even if you DONT call it a disability can we at least make it well enough known that people actually believe me)#(I cant tell you how many times I say I cant smell and the response is just ‘Yes you can’

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kirby-the-gorb · 5 months

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reply roundup!

had to put these on hold for a while for personal reasons </3 they're likely to still be infrequent, but in honor of kirb2k!

(my notes would only load back to mid september so I missed a couple weeks sorry :c but be warned that this is a long one! it's 3 entire months' worth!)

also, reminder that kirb2k ends tomorrow!!! preorders, commissions, and auctions will all close at noon pst on sunday december 17th! everything is linked in the pinned post or filed under the tag kirb2k!

first is one more birthday kirb from my friend @sleepy-sheep-wizard:

Realized halfway thru that I don’t know what Kirby looks like off the top of my head, so I got funky with it. Happy birthday, thank you for being a good friend

thank you again friend <3 getting funky with it is truly in the spirit of just drawing a little guy for fun, I love his little hat in particular.

on [mirror] @shapeshifterwithafez said: uuuh is Scherben bringen Glück/ Shards bring luck a universal saying? sounfs clinky as a direct translation. anyways in germany we say that shards of stuff you broke brings luck so I hope the luck finds you or smth sorry for rambling ^^

I'd never heard this saying before, but I think it's very sweet! thank you for sharing it with me :)

on [pipefight] @hauntedppgpaints said: goalies with a skate blade and their stick in hand

big hockey vibes for real yeah lol

on [pink] @gaydiation-poisoning said: ...I wanna eat that pink

honestly same, it's sooo pleasing

on [rain] @hive-heart said: Everything alright, daily kirby guy?

not really but sitting by the window in the rain is a good thing lol thanks for asking <3

(also the person who tagged that same post myhouse.wad made me laugh)

on [photo] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a picture of their cat and said: get adored idiot!! see the hate in her eyes? I’ll make her love me yet!!

me @ my partner's cat

@violet-dragongirl said: oh! I have been meaning to ask! Have you played Kirby and The Forgotten Lands? I assume you did but just wanted to say that I did about a week ago and I loved it and thought of your art! ^.^ And if you haven't, yes, Carby is super adorable and amazing :3

I have! I got it very shortly after it came out, I had a really good time with it. I've been slowly replaying it recently with my partner, they were kind of fond of kirby just by proxy but since we started playing they adore bandee now and say he never gets enough screen time XD I'm glad you also had fun!

on [mice] @ceylonsilvergirl said: girls like swarms of things, right?

idk bro my wife wasn't so big on it when I got a gig housing 30 mice, but maybe she's weird. I liked them. (sadly one of the best paying jobs I've ever had up until the owner lost it and abandoned them with me, yes I still took care of them for the rest of their little lives) (and yes I also got my wife's okay before I took them on in the first place)

on [covid] @mordantivore said: reading posts from when the era of covid safety was declared anathema and ended is haunting. we were so desperate to find ppl willing to help us stay alive. there are fewer of us now bc “allies” are worthless & more of us have died

yeah. fuck. I'm lucky that the people in closest proximity to me are at least moderately careful, but me and my wife and partner are usually the only ones wearing masks anywhere we go except sometimes the employees and I know they don't always wear them when they're out without me.

on [swim] @northeasternwind said: Jdjdjfkg imagining Kirby being way more bouyant than your average human so them gotta exhale REAL HARD or attach nega-floaties (sinkies?) like weights to dive

lol yeah they probably gotta try So Hard to actually get under the water. (I think diving weights/ballast is a thing that humans use too? I've never gone diving, having my face underwater stresses me out -n- )

on [float] @nickiemoot said: he has to go now. his planet needs him. *slide whistle*

I can only hear this as that one similar part from one of the asdfmovies, it delights me

@vampiricarus said: if you see this just know i love your art so much

aww thank you! <3

anonymous said: just wanted to say I love Kirby and I love your art! I’m always excited to see it on my dash. thank you for bringing a little joy to my life :) I need it once in a while like I’m sure a lot of others do too! Keep up the good work :))

thank you! drawing a little guy brings me a little joy too, I'm glad it can do the same for others <3

on [drain] @ceylonsilvergirl said: I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Existing is hard work sometimes. A lot of the time

fuck dude it sure is <3 especially when my body keeps trying to shut down lol

on [mud] @why-are-all-the-fun-urls-taken said: Hey man are u doing ok

I am not, thanks for asking <3

on [tummyache] @hobgirl said: :o kirby the gorb why would you do that!!!!! why!!!!!

I didn't want it to go to waste!!! everyone is dumb sometimes!!!

on [wizard] @eau-the-agony said: not enough appreciation in the wizarding world for garlic salt spell. its all kung pow penis tgis and ketamine ape that. not enough of the small joys which carry us through the horrors like a dinky garbage raft

you are so right. the small joys are the most powerful of all.

on [wizard] @beepbeepdespair said: somehow didnt know garlic salt was a thing until this moment. now i really want some. i think i just found a kg of it online for 12 quid??

I am so pleased that you now have the knowledge of Garlic Salt Spell, I hope you got to try it out for yourself :D

on [zelda] @chaos-squared said: Good job!! I’ve had it for longer yet still haven’t completed it ;w;

nothing wrong with that! I only finished it as quickly and thoroughly as I did because I was basically bedridden for all of october, as long as you enjoy the time you do spend with a game it doesn't really matter how much time you spend or how far you get.

on [brave] @gudetamalover said: me tomorrow afternoon when I get all four wisdom teeth out

I'd already had several other oral surgeries on account of Weird Teeth before I got my wisdom teeth out but it still knocked me on my ass for a couple days, I hope your recovery went as smooth as possible! (altho that was also like. 15 years ago. and general anesthesia has gotten a lot better since then.)

on [shiny] @angst-and-fajitas said: Like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

bald! bald! bald! bald!

on [powerwash] @chronicdilf said: decemberb 16 im goign to walk across the damn stage get my damn diploma folder im going to go home and POWERWASHER SIMULATOR JUST LIKE KIRBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah!!! you're gonna do it!!! you might be doing it right now even!!!

on [cooked] @hobgirl said: oh mood kirby..... struggling with the very last paper i need to write before i can graduate and its got me feeling this way fr

ough, I hope you made it through your paper! lots of people graduating tho that's so cool, congrats to both of you!

on [bears] @jupiterlandings said: I get so happy every time I see Cake and the name Cake being tagged :)

it's such a good name for a bear, I'm grateful you thought of it!! especially given the best I could do for the other one was "kirbear" lol

@violet-dragongirl said: omg seeing that Fav Grobs Post you recently put up makes me so happy! over a thousand (and then some!) GORBS?! :D I'm not only impressed but so proud ya made it this far and I'm so glad you got possibly more to go of Kirby!! :D!! Really great job 🥰🥰

thank you! I'm gonna hit 2000 days of drawing kirby tomorrow, that's so wild!

on [popular] @timeturner-jay said: Op your Kirby art brings so much utter joy you have no idea <3

yay I'm glad <3 I love to draw a little guy, it's good I'm not the only one having fun lol

I got a lot of "good blaze op" on the [macarena], and you're all correct, thank you for recognizing my great decision making B) (I'd been meaning to add the music and blaze it from basically the moment I drew it, I've just been really sick so it took a while.)

(also even if I don't always gather them in the roundup there are names I recognize showing up repeatedly in the tags, some of whom have been here for years, and I'm always glad to see you're still around!)

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clatterbane · 5 months

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Mr. C came back from a short work trip end of last week with some kind of lovely bug which feels an awful lot like COVID again. 🫤

He is thankfully mostly feeling better by now, but I just keep getting amazed at how he shrugs things off whenever he does get sick. Came home Friday evening and passed out for around 12 hours from about 8 p.m., spent the weekend sorta snotty, and nearly back to normal after that.

Meanwhile, I started noticeably feeling crappier with my blood sugar acting up from Sunday or so, and have been actively feverish today. Could be "just" another nasty sore throat and headache edition of the creeping crud, but if so it's also one of the kind that makes you feel utterly exhausted even while lying in the bed.

The sudden fatigue level is what got me particularly suspicious here. Never completely got over it after my second round with COVID, and this is notable even from that lingering baseline. Hoping it will let up as I throw off whatever virus crud this might be, because jfc. DO NOT NEED. Sitting up for long is a chore at the moment.

It'll be OK, or it won't. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But yeah, gotta love the new normal.

#personal #venting #illness

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 2 years

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You Eat Yet?

Frozen | Masterlist | All Shook Up

Pairing: Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto x Reader

Rating: M (though it may have explicit chapters in the future)

Notes: Welcome back! I hope y’all are having a nice week!❣️ Also no worries, there's another chapter incoming, it just doesn't have a name yet.

Warnings: Fluff; mentions of the 'Rona (COVID)

Summary: Your skin prickles with flattery and a giddiness that you haven’t felt for someone in a long time.

“Hey! Hey—I am so sorry to do this, but I can’t stop by later.” You lower yourself onto your couch to tie your shoes, tucking your phone between your shoulder and your ear. “Frankie’s got the ‘rona for, like, the fifth time, so I need to cover their shift.”

“No, no worries,” Carmy reassures. “Have you—”

“I’ve tested, I’m negative. They’re vaxxed, too, but like, point zero five percent of the dicks that come into the bar are, and Frankie’s down, like two more boosters than I am, so,” You spring up from the couch, hurrying over to your bag. “I just got the call like ten minutes ago and we’re supposed to open, like, now, so I’ve gotta go, but—”

“Don’t worry about that. You eat yet—?”

You fumble with your phone as it slips from your shoulder, just barely catching it before it can clatter to the floor.

“Sorry, I’m really—I’m so late, but I’ll talk to you later, okay? Mwah!” You push a kiss through the phone before you shove it into your pocket and reach for your jacket.

You lean back against the bar by the cash register, eyeing the few patrons. There’s the cluster of knuckleheads in their usual place at the end of the bar, recounting their lives, crowing at their wins and cackling at each others' losses. You glance around to the couple of people in the booths, eyeing the fullness of their glasses. Unless someone comes in now, you may have a moment of downtime, to ask for something from the kitchen.

…Of course, that is precisely when someone walks in. You slap a smile on your face, straightening.

“Hi! What can I getya?” You ask as brightly as you can. The man comes closer to the counter with a smile on his sweet, round face.

“Actually, I’ve got something for you.”

You resolve yourself to give him a moment to explain, hoping it’s not a come-on—and it’s not. You watch as the man raises his hand, setting a takeout bag on the bar.

“Uhhhh…” You frown, shaking your head, “I didn’t—”

“No, no, Carmy sent it. I’m Fak,” The man holds his hand out, “I help out around the shop.”

Your head buzzes with surprise and happiness, and you can’t help your grin as you shake the man’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Fak. Can I grab you something for delivering this? A beer, or—anything?”

“Oh, nah, I gotta get back. There’s a faulty fan in the walk-in. Carmy wanted this brought over first, though, so I gotta, you know.”

“No, of course. Thank you so much for bringing this, I really appreciate it.”

“Sure! Have a good shift.”

“You, too, man. Thanks!” You call after him as he heads back toward the door. You look down at the bag, surprised, biting your lip. Carmy wanted this brought over first. There’s something wrong with the walk-in, but Carmy wanted this brought over first—

Your skin prickles with flattery and a giddiness that you haven’t felt for someone in a long time. You glance around the bar again, making sure no one needs a fresh one or a top-up before you unwrap the tied bag. The sandwich is still warm in the wrapping. You don’t expect a note—Carmy doesn’t seem the type. You’re right to assume, though. All that’s there is the food. But hell, the food is more than you’d expected of him. Carmy could’ve let go of the question of whether or not you’d gotten the chance to eat before you left.

He didn’t.

“Hey,” Carmy greets, doing a double-take over his shoulder as he locks up the front door. You just watch and wait, leaning back against the lamppost. He turns to face you, finally. He looks tired; he’s already got a cigarette waiting to be lit dangling between his lips. He walks closer in measured steps, eyes set downward as he lights his cigarette. His cheeks sink with a drag a step away from you, lips pushed to the side to blow the smoke away from you, out of the wind.

You reach up with both hands, plucking the cigarette from his lips with one hand, and cupping his cheek with another. He seems confused at first, eyes tracking his cigarette in your hand before he meets your eyes. You lean in, kissing him warmly. Carmy takes just a second, then he leans into you, pressing you back against the lamppost. You curl your arms around his shoulders, his cigarette between your fingers still. Carmy smooths his hands down your sides, resting them on your hips. You nuzzle his nose with yours as you tip your head just a touch, savoring the warm, sweet kisses. You tease your tongue between Carmy’s lips before drawing away. He grunts, chasing and pecking your lips. You grin, unwinding one of your arms and holding the cigarette to his lips.

He draws in another puff, holding it to the side and pushing the smoke to the side again. You swipe your tongue across your lower lip, and grin as he tracks the movement. You smooth your fingers through Carmy’s hair.

“Yours? Mine?” He asks.

“Mm. Mine. I have a real bed.”

“Hey, I have a bed.”

“Really?”

“...Couch pulls out.”

You roll your eyes, unable to help it as you reach down, taking hold of his other hand, leading him toward the train station.

“My place,” You insist. “Thai take out, Chopped reruns.”

“Bossy.”

“Don’t like it?”

“It’s kinda hot.”

Tag list: @bobawithpomegranate ; @brandyllyn ; @artemiseamoon ; @amneris21 ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @backoff-imreading ; @quietpainter ; @milf-trinity ; @distinguishedfilipina ; @peoniarose ; @missredherring ; @estrela-rogers ; @silkiers ; @sammiekay01 ; @velmalav ; @themartiansdaughter ; @eddiemunson4ever ; @whoahoney ; @wittyno ; @winchestershiresauce ; @artaxerxesthegreat

#Carmy Berzatto x Reader #Carmy Berzatto x You #Carmy Berzatto/Reader #Carmy Berzatto/You #Carmy Berzatto fic #Carmy Berzatto imagine #If You Can't Take the Heat #You Eat Yet?

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brightgnosis · 4 months

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Well. It is, unfortunately, official. Did some tests this morning to see, and this is definitely the exact same Migraine I had post Covid the last time, that kept me bedbound for 3 months straight. And I am, once again, bedbound with it- much to my absolute anger and annoyance.

The good news is, I've already survived this once before in the past. So we know I'm not dying this time; we know what it is, and how we originally treated it. So hopefully it shouldn't last nearly as long this round. Just gotta get the ball rolling on treatment quickly; I also don't have the extreme restricted diet or the extreme Parosmia this time. So that's a lovely little bonus that makes this much more bearable just on its own this round.

Anyways. Going to go ahead and go off my Meloxicam immediately as of this morning, since the protocol last time included Ketorolac every 6 hours for 2 weeks. Calling my GP first thing when they open to see if she wants me to go ahead and make an appointmet, or just wants to call in the same med protocol we tried last time, no appointment. Then my Husband's going to cut my hair for me as soon as he gets home from work tonight; we're going to try shoulder length first this time and hope that helps without me having to shave my entire head a second time. And if not ... Whelp. Off the lot goes again I guess 😭

Fingers crossed. Because I am not about this bedbound life. The first time this happened was enough for me, thank you.

#All About That Bedbound Life #Personal #Alphabet Soup #2024 #Post Covid Conditions #Chronic Migraine

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jangofettjamz · 1 month

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Where I've been... (depression sucks)

Hello, to my followers and readers I just wanna say I'm so so so terribly sorry for not informing you of my whereabouts.

I'm gonna be blunt, I've been fucking miserable over the last year. My depression has kicked in full force and I'm so annoyed that all the progress I've made to get better seems to have gone down the drain. This has been due to multitude of reasons; college has been an absolute nightmare to deal with, my I feel like I'm failing at everything I do despite the work I produce. Working on multiple I.T projects at once is literal pain.

A close friend of mine also passed away which devastated naturally. We had the same first name and has been piller in my life, encouraging me to follow my passion and navigate through a world I had no understanding of due to being so closed off. He pushed my autistic ass to do things I would've never dreamed of, and some heart condition he wasn't even aware of killed him on his sleep. Life is so fucking unfair.

Which brings me to my third reason, I miss my mom. She passed away from COVID-19 nearly three years ago, caught it while working in a COVID-19 ward as a nurse for the NHS. She always rooted for me to do what I loved and was my biggest supporter in life and it irritates me that some virus cut her life so short. I partly blame the UK gorvernment for that. As much as I love my step mom, she can never replace her. I've tried so hard to get over her death, but I just can't...

So long story short, life has gotten really really harsh and I couldn't find the motivation to post anymore, but that doesn't mean I won't post ever again. You readers are so lovely to interact with and I hope to post more content for you to enjoy in the future to come.

I wanna thank the writers who have created some amazing stories for me to read during this REALLY shitty time in my life, you guys have talent that I could only aspire to reach someday. Here's just a few examples: @void-wolfie @lesbianpepsi @ajortga @cobaltperun @kaisacobra and many other writers.

And to the people who are only just finding out about me, welcome. I hope you stick around and read some of my content.

Feel free to message me or ask me stuff, I still wanna interact with you guys even if I'm not posting.

I dunno when I'll be back, but I will be. But right now, I've gotta go to therapy. Take care you lot. ❤️

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x y/n #wednesday x reader #wednesday x you #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x you #fanfic #x reader

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kazosa · 2 years

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Summary: you and Jensen have been pen-pals and friends since you were kids. You were always attracted to your friend but were never able to act on it... After an incident occurs and Jensen spirals downward and eventually falls off the radar for a while, his mother enlists your help to find him and bring him back. Will your feelings for him come to light, or will you fall back into your old buddy routine?

Pairing: female reader x Jensen Ackles

Word count: 9200

Warnings: alcohol consumption, language, sexual situations, skinny dipping, talk of abuse and exploitation

Author's note: please remember this is just fiction and not intended to be disrespectful to any real life people, this is merely how I want him to be in this situation

Big thanks to @coffee-obsessed-writer for creating the banner and helping me edit this monster

You had suspicions about where Jensen might be hiding out but you didn’t want to give up his location if he wasn’t actually there. Not to mention, you didn’t know if anyone else knew about his cabin. He must have kept it a secret from everyone if no one knew where to look for him to confirm if he was okay.

It surprised you to see he had a mailbox at the end of the road. All it had printed on it was “Wayne”. It gave you hope that you were in the right spot and he would be there. The postal carrier was the only person you could find who both knew of the cabin and would give you a lift up there. He was done with his route and you’d caught him at the local convenience store in your search for Jensen.

“You know the guy?” the carrier asked.

You nodded, putting your phone back in your pack.. You hadn’t seen him since before COVID, but you would still sometimes get texts from him and video calls, but those hadn’t been as regular as you would have liked. The last communication you’d gotten from Jensen had been over a month ago and it had only been an emoji, which was very unlike him. He always wrote out everything and didn’t even use abbreviations.

“Have you seen him?” you asked.

“No, but I deliver a lot of stuff here. Instructions say to just leave there,” he pointed to a cement pad with a small roof over it. “It’s always gone next time I come by.”

You thought about it for a moment. “That’s okay, I think he would prefer you didn’t. Thanks for the ride, Glen.”

“Get a lot of traffic up here?”

“Not really,” he shook his head. “Just residents or people who get lost. You want me to drive you up there?”

Glen raised his hand in goodbye before slowly pulling away from the drive. You couldn’t see anything past 50 yards up the road that would indicate anyone even lived up there. The road disappeared around a curve, getting lost in the trees.

You looked down at your trail shoes and hoped they would stand the test they were about to endure.

“Of course he’s gotta pick a goddamned mountain,” you muttered as you began the hike into the unknown.

He only had a few more logs to chop before he would call it a day. Still not sure if he would spend the winter on the mountain, or not, he didn’t want to get caught without firewood. Either way, it was good exercise and he would rather be safe than sorry.

He moved a log onto the stump and swung a few times before he caught movement out the corner of his eye. He swung again with a grunt and the log gave a satisfying crack, splitting about halfway down. He pulled the axe out, slung it to his bare shoulder and took a few steps toward whomever was dumb enough to hike up this far.

No way was the figure walking toward you was the man you were looking for. He looked like an actual mountain man with long hair and beard. His body was thick with muscle and shiny with sweat. If it weren’t for those tell-tale bow legs, you would never have recognized him from that far away.

“Who the hell are you?” he bellowed, holding the axe in front of him with both hands.

“Jay? Is that you?” you called out. Jesus, he can be scary, you thought. The only time you ever heard that particular tone of voice was when he was mad, and it was rarely ever directed at you, if at all.

“What are you doing here? How did you find this place,” he was a little closer now, his voice still booming.

“Jesus, Jensen, it’s me, (Y|N), and you told me you were here!”

“(Y|N)?”

You nodded.

“I texted you that a month ago.”

“I know, but you left your phone in Texas and no one could get in touch with you, dumbass!”

“I told everyone who needed to know that I was taking some time for myself.”

“A fucking cabin emoji is pretty goddamned cryptic.”

His tough exterior deflated a little.

“Shit,” he rubbed his hand over his face. He’d been gone too long without contact.

You shrugged your pack off your shoulders and pulled out your phone. Somehow, out in the boonies, you had one bar. Finding the name you needed in the list, you hit ‘send’ and listened as it rang.

“Hi Donna,” you walked toward Jensen, “yeah, I have some good news… yep, I’m with him right now and he’s fine…” you were within arms reach now, “hold on, he’s right here.” You held out the phone, “Talk to your mother.”

Jensen took the phone from you and talked to his mom while you went to grab your pack. He walked behind you and took your pack before you could even heft it to your shoulder, easily putting the strap over one of his arms. He motioned for you to walk with him while his mom gave him the business.

“Mhm… yes, ma’am… mom… mom, I’m sorry… yes, ma’am… you’re right, I’m sorry… I don’t know… no, I’m not sure I’m ready yet… I promise…” he sighed, rolled his eyes and hit the speaker button.

“(Y|N)?”

“I’m here,” you answered.

“Thank you for finding him and letting me talk to him.”

“Of course, Donna.”

“Please let me know when you leave, okay?” she asked.

“I will.”

“Jensen, I love you. Don’t scare me like that again.”

“No, ma’am,” he answered.

Donna disconnected and Jensen handed your phone back to you. You walked in silence for a while. Only the sounds of nature and shoes on the ground. It was a really pretty and peaceful piece of land. The road took you toward his cabin and ran parallel to the stream nearby. There was a small dock over the water. The cabin was in line with the dock and partially went over the water, too.

“Took you long enough,” he broke the silence.

“Um, that was over a month ago. Second, we’ve gone longer without talking. Third, you left your phone in Texas. What was I supposed to use, telepathy? And four, once your mom said you were missing, I figured it out and came up here. Which, by the way, was not easy to do and hard as fuck to hike up to. Because, of course, you chose a fucking mountain to hide out on.”

“What?”

“I texted you a month ago.”

“I knew you’d figure it out,” he grinned.

He leaned the axe against the cabin wall, turned the door handle and pushed open the cabin door. He let you go in first, following you in and put your pack against the wall by the door. You did a quick look around and noted there were only two rooms, one being closed off with a door. The rest of the space was all one room including a kitchen, a living space and a small area to eat, all constructed of stone and wood. There was a large fireplace on the wall that was over the water with a chair and side table situated near it. The back corner of the cabin had the kitchen and the main space had a daybed that doubled as bedroom and living space.

“And now you’ve seen the whole place,” he said. “Make yourself at home, I’m gonna go get cleaned up.”

You expected him to go into the room with the door, which you assumed was the bathroom. Instead, he grabbed a towel and went outside with what looked like 2 bars of soap. Before you even registered what was going on, he was already outside and stripping by the stream. Unabashedly, you followed him out just in time to see his bare butt disappear into the water.

“Get a good look?” he asked when he caught you.

Over the years, you’d seen him in various states of attire, or lack thereof, but you’d never seen him fully undressed.

“No! Why don’t you do it again,” you called out.

You’d always been attracted to Jensen, and flirted with him, but it never went any further than that. You’d met him by accident in 1994 when you went on a family vacation to Dallas. He wasn’t even supposed to be there. You liked to think that fate had thrown you two together. After that summer in Texas, you became pen-pals. Every summer, you begged your parents to go back to Texas. Eventually, through letters and those trips, you’d gotten to know each other’s families and would still send letters. When you became adults, it was easier to meet up more often and exchange phone numbers.

You leaned on the porch railing and really looked at this god of a man and wondered how it was you’d gotten so lucky to have met him and to have kept him in your life for so long. His career had skyrocketed and he could have left behind the summer vacation friend, but he hadn’t. Why were you the one he’d chosen to let know where he was? What was he expecting?

“Earth to (Y|N)!”

Your focus snapped back to Jensen in the stream. He motioned for you to turn around.

“Prude!”

“I’m shy,” he was beginning to shiver. “Wanna make it even and show me yours?”

Countless times, you had thought of offering just that, but your own shyness had never let you… not to mention your body image. You sighed and went back inside the cabin. Not much time passed before a soaked Jensen came back into the cabin wearing the towel and a t-shirt you hadn’t seen him take outside. Quickly, he was dressed and back in the main room with you, this time with jeans and bare feet.

“I barely recognized you when you walked up, you’ve changed,” he said.

“Me?” you’d only cut your hair and walked a little more often. “Look at you mountain man. I’ve never seen your hair this long. Not even on Dawson’s Creek…and the beard!”

He nodded in resignation, “Fair point. You look good though.” A few beats ticked by, “It’s good to see you.”

You sat with him on the daybed. “You could have just called before disappearing. What’s with all the secrecy? Doesn’t anyone know you have this place? Also, how come I’ve never been here, it’s amazing!”

“Thank you. Honestly, I just wanted this place to be for me. Kind of reminds me of the summers we had. It’s a good place to get my head right, sort of reset…”

He didn’t answer your question.

“It’s good to see you, too. Even through all of that hair,” you gently pushed his hair away from his forehead.

“It’s been too long. Do you want a drink?” he asked, standing up quickly, like the feelings were hitting him too hard.

You supposed he did need a break from the onslaught. You knew his life could be overwhelming and it made sense that he needed the cabin to relieve the stress. The media could be extremely intrusive and you knew that things had happened to drive him out of the public eye, but this had been extreme.

“Sure,” you said, and pulled out a few things from your pack.

“How long can you stay,” he asked from the small kitchen.

Jensen was waiting to hear your answer. You stood back up and took a few short steps to cross the cabin to where he was waiting for your response. The look in his eyes broke your heart. What had happened was tearing him up. You touched his arm and he turned fully toward you. Not even thinking about it, you reached up and pulled him down into a hug. His beard scratched at your skin as he nuzzled into your neck.

“I can stay as long as you can stand me,” you whispered, your hand stroking the back of his neck. He was giving you a bear hug and you tried to return the comfort.

You knew what had happened, but only after the fact. When Donna called you to find him, you knew it was serious and had done deeper research, including where to find him.

He never wanted her to leave. She always did that self-deprecating thing where she minimized herself and her importance, but he was always sad when their visits came to an end. He sent her that text hoping she would come. He needed his friend. She seemed like the only person he could trust and she always told him exactly what she thought about anything. It was all so overwhelming, the scandal, the shame, his feelings for his friend…

Eventually, he pulled away, but you wouldn’t let him go. You held his face in your hands forcing him to face you, but he was having a hard time making eye contact. His eyes were red and his face was a little damp. You used the palms of your hands to dry his eyes.

“Whatever it is you’re going through, you can tell me. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care. Anytime you’re ready. I’ll follow your lead. What do you want to do? Work? Bullshit? Chill on the porch with our drinks?” you offered.

. “Yeah,” his voice was still a little emotional. “Let’s take these outside, it’s a great view.”

Because Jensen is who he is, he had his porch swing set up to overlook the most perfect view of the stream and woods surrounding his land. He held the swing for you so you could get in and get comfy. It wasn’t a typical swing. It was more like a bed inside a pod that could completely enclose two adults inside. He disappeared for a moment and returned with a blanket which he tossed to you. Somehow, he rolled into the swing like a cat and didn’t spill a drop of his drink.

“That’s some Jedi-ninja shit right there. Expert category drinker stuff,” you admired.

“I’ve practiced,” he said. The swing swayed a bit as he pulled in his long legs. “C’mere,” he patted his shoulder, “bring the blanket, it gets chilly at night.”

He was half sitting up against the wall of the pod. You thought for a moment about how you should rest against him. You wanted to cuddle into him, but he was your friend and didn’t want to do something unwanted. Instead, you scooted to sit next to him and he draped his arm around you.

“This is really nice,” you said. The two of you had known each other a long time and had even spent a lot of time together alone, but this time was different. He wanted you, maybe even needed you, to be near him. Nothing was pressing either of you to be somewhere else, or to do anything else. It was just the two of you and you had time to enjoy the company. Being in the pod with him was way more intimate, like maybe you weren’t just friends anymore.

You looked out at the landscape and were feeling very relaxed and happy with the help of the drink Jensen had made for you. The hike up the mountain had definitely helped your eyelids start to feel heavy.

“You sleep out here, don’t you?” you asked, already knowing the answer.

“Damn right I do,” he took a drink. “Gets hot in the house in summer.”

“Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not complaining, but why me? I’m sure there has to be someone else you’d rather have up here…”

“Why not you? Sometimes… Sometimes… I wish I weren’t this version of me.”

“If you weren’t an extremely handsome guy, the world at his feet, with the best pen-pal ever, who would you be?” you asked.

You could feel him shrug next to you, “I don’t know. I like who I am when you’re around… maybe a carpenter, or bartender who does karaoke on weekends and the best pen-pal ever visits whenever she can. I just want to be the guy I am when you’re around. I like him.”

You sat up and turned to look at him. Leaning over his legs you put your glass on the porch and took his drink to do the same before sitting back up.

“I think you’d be a great bartender,” you said. When you leaned back this time, you tucked into his side and wrapped your arm over his body, “Or a lumberjack,” you giggled, gripping his bicep. His strong body squeezed you tightly to him and you thought you might be in heaven.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” he said.

“I missed you, too,” you said. “I wish I had the freedom to visit whenever, but… I could… it would take time, though.”

“What’d you say to get out of work this time?” he asked.

“Told ‘em the truth. I said, and this is a quote, ‘My idiot friend has fallen off the radar and he’s scaring the shit out of his mother, so I need to go find him, ‘cause if I don’t and his mom finds him, she will do to him what she fears has already happened to him’.”

He chuckled knowing the absolute truth of what she said, “And what did they say?”

“They were concerned that, not only do I have a friend, but that he’s also missing and asked for a picture to help spread the word. Naturally, I declined and said my friend is hideous and any hungry wildlife would be doing us a favor if they took him out, but they insisted on seeing your mug.”

Jensen was silently laughing, his chest shuddering with laughter.

“Did you show them?”

“Yeah, I did. No one ever believes I know you. They just rolled their eyes and asked me to be serious. I said no-can-do buckaroo and lit out of there.”

“You got the time off?” he wheezed.

“No idea. I needed to get my stuff together and figure out your one emoji text meaning with zero context. Your confidence in my sleuthing ability is flattering… one fucking clue…”

“There were two,” he was catching his breath now.

“Are you serious?! You are so lucky I have a good memory.”

“Bullshit. Your memory is garbage. I know you keep the letters.” he said.

“Listen here, fucker… my memory may be garbage, and, alright, I do keep them, but at least I knew where to look! Don’t act like you don’t keep mine, too,” you countered.

“I’m not a sentimental simp like you.”

“Yes, you are! Maybe you don’t keep the letters, but you do have them all locked away in that brain of yours. You love my letters… butthole.”

“They’re so eloquent,” he laughed.

The back and forth between you had gotten animated and the swing still swayed for a few more moments.

“God, I’m glad you’re here,” he said, wiping his eyes.

“Well, it might be permanent after the shit I pulled, so, lucky you. You might owe me a job,” you warned.

“That can be arranged,” he spoke too soon. He didn’t know if he would even be going back to work acting. He didn’t know if he had destroyed his career, or if he would be accepted back into the fold. He would probably have to testify at some point.

“Hey, where’d you go?” you asked.

“Uh, just drifted off for a sec,” he said.

You wondered where he had drifted.

“Wanna go back inside? My drink is empty,” you asked.

He gave her a nod and watched her struggle to get out of the pod making it swing wildly back and forth.

“Got an ETA on that exit, hot shot?” he asked.

No sooner had he gotten the words out of his mouth than (Y|N) lost her balance and tumbled backward into him.

Jensen let out a little “oof” when you fell backward. The swing was going all over the place, making you feel more dizzy. You struggled to get your bearings and finally were able to get your hand placed to push yourself up only to see Jensen looking back at you. Only vaguely were you aware of his hand on your back.

“That drink was stronger than I thought,” you sputtered, staring at his mouth so close to your own.

“Lightweight,” a soft smile touched his lips.

“I think I need help getting out of this thing,” you conceded, still lying on his chest.

In one smooth movement, he had you lying on your back, looking up at him. His bodyweight pressed into you, heightening the intensity of the moment. Cautiously, your hands went to his back and shoulder. The gamut of emotion ran over his eyes. His mouth moved toward yours, but stopped. You moved your hand from his shoulder to cup his neck, your thumb on his jaw. Gently, you pulled him closer, letting him know you wanted him, too.

His mouth met yours, soft at first, quickly becoming more urgent. Your hands pulled up his shirt and Jensen pulled it off in one quick motion. Just as quickly, you pulled off yours. He kissed you again as he undid your pants. He laid you back and kissed you all over your body and down your belly. Your head was spinning from euphoria and barely noticed he had laid you completely bare for him. He removed his clothes before he moved between your legs, kissing up your thighs. His hands went under you, gripping your hips before he buried his face in your folds, devouring you. Your body responded to him in ways no one had ever brought forth in you. Sounds you didn’t even know you were capable of making… you clutched one of his hands and his hair as he brought you to one of the hardest orgasms you’d ever had. He kept working your body until your orgasm finally subsided allowing you to relax.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, trying to catch your breath.

Jensen wasn’t done with you yet. He crept up your body, worshiping every inch. His large hands cupped your breasts, softly massaging them, his fingertips brushing over your nipples making them rise to a peak.

“Just call me Jensen,” he said, pulling your leg up to his hip. His hand caressing your leg, knee to thigh.

“Smartass,” you said, kissing him.

“We should have done this a long time ago,” he said, touching your hair. He paused, “Has no one ever made you…”

You laughed, “No, not like that. Gawd, not like that.”

He laid between both of your legs and looked at you before tracing lines on your chest. “What a shame.”

“Hey, come up here, let me look at you,” you told him.

He pushed himself up and over your leg so you could lie next to him and up on your elbow. You couldn’t help but keep kissing him, his chest, his neck, nibbling on his ears. He pulled and pushed you on top of him and you reveled in the feel of his body under yours. So warm and strong. Still wet from before, he easily slid into you as he sat up with you on him. You both groaned with pleasure as his cock filled you. He buried his face in your chest and leaned you back to suck and bite on your nipples. He was getting your blood to flow in all the right places and you were getting desperate for relief. You tried to move your hips a little, but Jensen wouldn’t let you, grasping you tightly around your waist, forcing you to hang onto his neck and shoulders, for dear life.

The things he could do with his tongue were driving you crazy. If you didn’t get some relief soon, you were going to scream. You were already making noises. He was doing things you didn’t know were possible. He was doing things that were both extremely pleasurable and agony at the same time. He finally let you wrap your legs around his waist. What had earlier felt like pure animal lust, turned into tender love-making. He let you touch and caress his body how you wanted, moving your body with him inside you. You couldn’t keep your lips away from his. You wrapped your arms and legs tightly around him and he rolled you onto your back, pushing all the way into you, making you groan loudly, arching your head back. He looked into your eyes as he began to move again, slowly. He took his time as he brought you both to ecstasy.

“Oh my god, Jensen,” you muttered as he made you cum again.

Jensen shuddered with a moan and collapsed onto you with his face in your neck, breathing heavily. After a moment, he gave you another sensual kiss and carefully rolled off of you.

“Holy shit,” you breathed. “My legs are gonna be so sore tomorrow,” you laughed.

“I’ll give you a massage,” he offered.

You looked for your clothes in the darkness but didn’t find them and not knowing where Jensen threw them, you pulled on the t-shirt he had been wearing before this out-of-the-blue release happened.

“Whaaaat just happened?” you wondered aloud.

“Greaaat sex,” he sighed.

“Oh my god, yeah, but…”

“I really needed that,” he put a hand on your thigh.

You really needed it, too, but you wondered if it were for the same reason of pent up lust for your friend of almost thirty years.

“The sex? You could have had that with anyone. I have literally seen women faint in your presence.”

He tensed up a little. You could hear him roll his eyes rather than see them. “Come here,” you heard him pat his chest. He pulled you into his side and you laid on his shoulder. He grabbed the edge of the blanket and flung it over both of you. He held you snugly to him as he talked drowsily.

“I didn’t want ‘anyone’,” he said. “I wanted you,” he kissed your forehead.

“Me? Really?” you’d thought for sure your desire had been one-sided all this time.

“Yeah, but you or I were always with someone. It just never worked out to give us a try.”

“This day keeps getting stranger and stranger,” you muttered.

“You mean in a good way, right?” he teased.

You nodded knowing he would feel your answer.

“How long have you felt like this?” you asked.

“Remember when we met up the 2nd or 3rd time? It was either right before or right after I got Days and we were in Texas, and you met my buddy, Kenny?”

“Yeah?” you barely remembered Kenny, but what you did remember was, “Oh yeah, that was the summer you were a dick.” It finally hit you, “You were a jealous dick! Oh my god!”

It felt like a revelation.

“You were loving all of that attention from him,” he grumbled.

The memories were coming back in force.

“I really don’t remember Kenny, I just remember you being a grouch,” you said.

“I know, I was a shit,” he admitted.

You clung to him, “I forgave you.” You were feeling sleepy and had no idea what time of night it was. A wave of sadness hit you. “I should have told you how I felt… when we said goodbye, I knew… when you…”

“When I kissed you before you got on the plane,” he finished.

“I knew way back then, you would always be the one that got away.”

Somehow he held you even tighter, “Can’t be the one that got away if I never let you go.”

You couldn’t remember a time you’d slept so soundly. Sleeping out on the porch almost felt like being on a boat and it lulled you into a deeper sleep.

When morning came and Jensen was gone, you briefly wondered if it had all been a dream. You were still in the swing with the blanket covering you and wearing Jensen’s shirt. Your movement to look for him caused the swing to turn and you saw him sitting on the porch in his jeans with his arms wrapped around his drawn up knees. The sun was just starting to come up and he was watching the horizon.

More graceful this time, you got out of the swing, taking the blanket with you. The man had the audacity to look good with a savage case of bedhead. You draped the heavy blanket over both of you as you sat down next to him. He took the blanket and held it in place while you put your arm around his waist and leaned into his side. The blanket was big enough to enclose you both and let you sit on a bit of it so your butt wouldn’t freeze.

“I see why you like it here. It’s beautiful,” you whispered.

“It’s where I come to reset. Just taking longer this time,” he said quietly as he put his arm around you. “It helps having you here.”

“Did you sleep?” you asked.

He waggled his hand, so-so. “You’re like a furnace.”

“You’re welcome?”

He leaned in for a soft, good morning kiss.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Sore as hell, but happy. Not gonna lie, it’s been a while. Definitely not how I thought the night would end after hiking up a damned mountain,” you smiled and nudged him. “How are you? How’s your brain?”

He took a moment to think about it and what happened the night before. “Better than I was 24 hours ago.” He debated how much to tell her about why he needed to disappear and why this cabin and what it all meant to him.

“Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m starving.”

Inside the cabin, Jensen said he would get some breakfast going and you told him you were going to use his shower. He let you know the tank isn’t very big and takes a while to refill.

“Got it, turn it off when not needed,” you said. He tapped the side of his head with one finger then pointed at you and turned back to getting the food ready. You didn’t bother washing your hair, it didn’t need it yet, and you doubted you would be able to get it clean with the lack of water pressure. That was probably the reason why Jensen went to the stream to get cleaned up, you supposed. You went as quickly as you could since the delicious smell of breakfast was wafting into you.

When you emerged, Jensen had made pancakes, bacon and eggs for you both. He was drinking what you assumed was coffee while he waited for you.

“You coulda told me to hurry up,” you said.

“Um,” he realized he was staring, “I just put it on the table.”

“Something wrong?” you asked

“No,” he said quietly and motioned for you to have a seat at the table.

“About last night,” you began. “What happens now? Do we pretend like it didn’t happen and carry on like usual? Or can this go somewhere?”

He wanted nothing more than to see where things could go together. Their timing had never been right. Even when they first met, he shouldn’t have even been there. He was supposed to have gone to a camp and had missed the bus. It had pissed off his parents enough to not let him stay home alone while the rest of the family went on vacation. While at the resort, (Y|N) had literally bumped into him and he was hooked.

They had become fast friends and when she’d suggested being pen-pals, he loved the idea. He’d told her things in those letters that he never told anyone. They’d bared their souls to each other in those letters. When he needed her, she was always there, no judgment. She never pulled punches with him and always gave her brutally honest opinion when he asked for it and sometimes when he didn’t, but those were the times when he needed to hear it most. He knew he could trust her with anything. He’d kept her away from the spotlight, fiercely protecting her privacy. The media could be so invasive and if they’d ever found out who she was to him, or asked her for a comment, she’d never told him about it.

Any time he had seen her, he’d think about asking her out, but she was always in a relationship, or he was. They would meet up and it was just easy to fall into the familiar “buddy” routine that they had going so well.

Last night had been completely different. A little liquid courage had gone a long way for them both. Maybe it had been the fatalist attitude he’d adopted of late, but he’d wanted to see if it would happen naturally and it had, much to his delight.

“Hold on,” he said, “I need you to read something.”

He got up from the table and went to the daybed. He pulled out a box from underneath and brought it to the table. (Y|N) was watching him closely and she didn’t miss much.

“‘Nova Stuff’, huh?” she noticed her codename on the box. “I thought I was the sentimental simp?”

She saw him digging through the box.

“Alright,” he admonished, “don’t get all cocky.”

“That’s all you,” she snickered, taking another bite of her food.

“Enough from the peanut gallery,” he said. She was trying to make him laugh and he loved her for it.

“Elephants like peanuts…” she was almost crying trying to hold in how amused she was with herself.

“Is that all you think about?” he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It is now!” she had to wipe her eyes. “Oh man, I really needed that laugh!”

“Happy to help,” he tried to sound miffed.

“Don’t be mad,” she chuckled, “I tease you out of love and I only tease the people I love most.”

“You love me?” He held the letter he was looking for in his hand. It had all of the sordid details in it and some things TMZ hadn’t dredged up. If he didn’t give it to her, maybe she wouldn’t find out about what he’d done and why he’d been stowed away in the cabin for over a month. He put the box on the floor and held the letter in between his hands. Finally, he laid it down and pushed it across the table to her. “You might change your mind after reading that. Everything is in there, all of it.” He said it like he had to force the words out. He pushed his chair back from the table, clasped his hands on top of his head, and looked up at the ceiling.

You took the envelope and flipped it over to see his familiar scrawl addressing the letter to you.

“Let me tell you a little something, Jensen Ross Ackles. When my friend’s mom calls me up and says her oldest child has gone on a trip, no one’s heard from him in a month, and asks me to help her find him… If you think I’m not going to Dean Winchester the shit out of the situation, do you even know me?”

You got up from your chair and left behind the letter to sit on his lap. You put one arm around his shoulders and raised your hand to touch his face, “You saw some scary shit. It fucked you up, as it would for any normal person. You’ve been working so hard and traveling all over the world. You dealt with it in a way that maybe you didn’t realize was destructive in the moment. It happens. That skank was arrested for filing a false report. Everyone stuck up for you, everyone. No one believed her. It was clear she was just trying to drag you down. Your parents released a statement saying you were taking some time off and now, it’s just been a waiting game until I found you.”

You looked at his sad eyes and read the question he couldn’t ask.

“No, my sweet boy, I didn’t believe a word of it,” you brushed the hair away from his face. “How could I ever believe it?” You kissed his exposed skin. “Aside from my mom, you are the only other person who has been consistently in my life for so long. I know you, Jensen.” You kissed his lips. “And if I had known you would become such a good kisser, I would have upped my flirting game.”

“Your game was pretty good,” he said.

“It didn’t work, though.”

“One or both of us was always with someone else. What was I supposed to do with that?” he asked.

“You were supposed to realize your unending love for me and ditch whomever you were with and run away with me. Or fight the person I was with for my hand. But you were a ‘gentleman’.” you changed your voice and used air-quotes for emphasis.

He seemed to consider your words for a moment before sweeping you up into his arms and carrying you to the bed.

His skin felt warm and smooth under your touch. You couldn’t help but want to get to know every part of his body. He was in fantastic shape and you felt dumpy as hell next to him. Unconsciously, you pulled a blanket over you.

“Are you cold?” he sounded sleepy.

“No, just self-conscious,” you admitted.

“Stop it, you’re perfect.”

“I jiggle.”

“Don’t do that. There isn’t a single bit of you that isn’t perfect. You are exactly who I want,” he tried to assure you.

“Do you know I love you?” you asked, your hand resting over his heart.

“I know,” he paused. “I love you back.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up that something was wrong earlier. I should have known as soon as you sent that stupid emoji.” you said. “You know what’s weird about you? Your complete lack of chest hair. I always thought you shaved.”

“You know what’s weird about you? Your inability to not say exactly what you’re thinking.”

“I mean, you’re so preppy… I thought it was a thing you did… but you really are dolphin-smooth.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” he tackled you.

After a little power nap, you decided to let Jensen sleep while you made yourself useful outside. Seriously under-equiped for cabin life, you made do with leggings, t-shirt, and trail shoes. You slipped your phone into your pocket and quietly went outside. There was a wood carrier near the door, which you grabbed and started for where you had seen Jensen the day before to gather the wood.

When he woke up (Y|N) was gone and her spot on the bed next to him was cold. A wave of panic hit him and he pulled on his pants to look for her. He dashed onto the porch and checked the swing.

(Y|N)!” he yelled.

A noise behind the house alerted him and (Y|N) popped out from around the corner.

“I’m right here!” she said, hand on her chest. “Are you okay?”

“Where were you?”

She held out the wood sling. “I was just bringing over the wood from yesterday. You seemed like you needed the sleep, so I didn’t wake you.”

That look was on his face again. The sadness that he’d been carrying around like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

“You’re not going to get rid of me, Jensen.” you said.

“Let me get dressed, I’ll help you.”

It only took a little while for the two of you to haul over the loose pieces and for Jensen to finish the other logs he had. Even though it was somewhat quick work, it was strenuous and you were both sweating.

“If all of your fangirls could see you now… they would lose their ever lovin’ shit,” you said marveling at him, too.

Jensen looked at himself, covered in dirt, wood chips and sweat, “Seriously?”

You nodded. “You’re checking a lot of boxes.”

“Well I feel disgusting,” he said, flipping the axe into the stump with force. He looked over at you after you made a strange sound and saw you make a checkmark with your finger and a mischievous grin. “Y’all are dirty.”

The two of you collected the last bits and carried them to the cabin. If you weren’t filthy before, you definitely were now.

“Speaking of dirty,” you began, “what do we do about this?”

He waved you over to follow him down to the stream and dock where you both kicked off your shoes. You should have seen it coming, but you didn’t. Jensen grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you with him into the water. You barely got your feet under you and stood up in the water, Jensen emerging right next to you.

“It’s a lot quicker than the shower,” he grinned. “Sometimes the fish get curious, though.”

You jumped on him, clinging to his neck and wrapping your legs around his waist.

He laughed, throwing his head back and for a moment, he looked like the boy you had known so long ago.

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just weird when they brush against you,” he explained.

“That’s not comforting,” you argued.

He just laughed and slowly spun you in the water, eventually dipping down til your shoulders were almost submerged.

Eventually she began to relax a little and could enjoy the water with him. It was cool and felt good after a day of hard work. She even got brave enough to put her feet down, but not enough to let go of his hand. Every moment he spent with her, he felt a little bit better. He should never have let her get on that airplane all those years ago. He just felt like a better person when he was with her.

“Human again?” he asked.

“Mm, yes, much better,” she agreed. “Also, can we talk about all of the hair?”

“What’s wrong with it?” he stroked his bushy beard.

“It’s definitely a look,” she said. She seemed to be doing something under the water. “And I’m not mad at it at all, it’s really working for you.” She held up her leggings and threw them at the dock landing with a wet plop and a soft ‘thump’. He became very intrigued by what she was doing. “My cha-cha, however, IS mad.”

“Excuse me? Your ‘cha-cha’?” he asked.

“Mhm. My downstairs kitty, vulva, specifically.”

“Any other notes?” he asked, amused.

“Oh no, we were quite pleased with the performance. We’re not asking for it to go away, just maybe a trim?”

She stood up straight in the water and pulled off her shirt, throwing it aside as she moved closer to him. He inhaled sharply at the sight of her. Her hands went to his jeans while he worked on his shirt. He quickly removed them when she threw his shirt on the dock next to hers. When he turned back to her, her bra was gone and she took his breath away…

You liked the way Jensen looked at you. It made you feel like you were queen of the world. He looked like he was ready to either devour you whole, or love on your body for hours. Either way, you would be happy. Never would you have guessed that your search would have led you here. Not just to the mountain and Jensen, but to this new chapter of your lives together.

You stood on your toes and pressed against his chest to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you back, seeming to relish in you.

“I think you better take me inside, sir.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“We should have done this a long time ago,” you said.

“I’m about to get dehydrated,” he said.

You gave him a playful swat on his butt. “No, I mean, you and me.”

“The things that happened before needed to happen so we could be here now. We did what was right for us at the time,” he said.

“I just feel like we missed out on a life together,” you said.

“I don’t feel like I missed out on anything with you. There are people I have known just as long, but none are as important to me as you. You are the person I always wanted to talk to first. I loved it whenever we could get together. This last couple years sucked, but we had video calls, at least.”

“Speaking of that, you owe me a new phone, too. Your mom is gonna be so pissed,” you teased.

A few weeks passed and Jensen ordered a phone for you, adding you to his plan. The two of you were enjoying every moment together. Eventually, you needed to go to the local store for supplies and managed to run into Glen while you were there.

“Oh, hello there, young lady. Did you find your guy?” he asked.

“I did,” you answered, “that’s him back there.” You turned to see Jensen looming behind you, almost glowering at Glen from under a trucker hat. “Be nice,” you mouthed to him.

“Got you a good, strong one there,” he said, still wary.

“Not much of a people person right now,” you explained.

“‘Least he’s got you to soften him up a bit.”

“Don’t let him fool you, he’s really very sweet and he treats me right,” you said.

“You folks plannin’ on staying the winter?” he asked.

“We actually need to talk about that yet,” you realized aloud.

“Best get on it. Winter comes early up here. You need to be prepared in case you get stuck,” Glen warned.

“Thanks, Glen,” you said with a smile.

“Thanks, Glen,” you heard Jensen mutter in a mocking tone from behind you.

Glen returned your smile and left you with a tip of his hat, so you and Jensen could finish your shopping.

You ignored Jensen for the moment, but things needed to be talked about whether he liked it or not.

The store you were in was, technically, a convenience store, but it had a very large grocery section since most of the locals didn’t want to go to the nearest large town with a proper grocery. Jensen gave you his keys so you could go out to the truck while he took the cart to the checkout and paid for everything.

When he came out, you tried to help, but he shoo’d you away. He loaded everything in the back and brought the cart back inside the store, before finally getting back in the truck with you. After starting the truck and putting it in gear, he slowly pulled away from the little store and headed toward the road that led to the cabin. Jensen was a little quiet, but that wasn’t too unusual for him. You were just happy to look out at the scenery.

“Oh, um,” he fidgeted in his pocket, “I got you this in the store.”

He held out a cellophane package to you. You took the package and read the label, RingPop. Quickly, you hid your smirk before you spoke. It was a cute gesture, but you couldn’t resist.

“Is this a proposal?” you asked.

“What?! No! It’s just a RingPop,” he said.

“But it’s my favorite flavor,” you went on. “Ooo, who would I be? Mrs. Wayne or Mrs. Ackles?”

“Whatever, it’s just a RingPop,” he said again, trying to look annoyed, but you knew better.

“Don’t try to deny it. One day, you’re going to ask me to marry you, Jensen Ackles.”

“Uh-huh,” he gave you side-eye, and half-mockingly said, “that would make you Mrs. Ackles then.”

“I thought it was just a RingPop,” you teased.

“Alright, enough,” he grinned.

Late one afternoon, you and Jensen were sitting on the daybed playing cards and having snacks. Since he didn’t have any, not one, single electronic device, it forced you to talk or get creative with how to entertain yourselves. At first, it had all been great fun and felt like old times, except the old times didn’t have great sex. But as each day ticked by, it felt more and more like you were hiding with him.

You drew a card, “Jay?”

“Hmm?” he was studying his hand.

You chose your discard and laid it in the pile, “As much as I love spending time with you, and I do, it’s been a great summer vacation…” Jensen drew a card and immediately discarded it. “Vacations end and people go back to their lives.” You picked up the card he discarded, rearranged your hand, then laid it down. “Gin.”

“Again? I swear, you cheat,” he said, reaching for the cards to shuffle for a new game, but you stopped him by grasping his hands.

“I’m fine here,” he said, blandly.

“Jensen… at some point, you have to face what happened.”

“I don’t know if…”

“You won’t be able to move past it if you don’t face it, and you know it.”

He stopped and started a few times before speaking, “I like it here. It’s peaceful.”

“Why?! Because it’s easy?! That is some serious, cop-out bullshit if I’ve ever heard it. You need to make a fucking choice. Are you going to lay down and let this one bad thing dictate your life and throw away 25 years of hard work? Or are you gonna stand up, set the record straight, and take back your fucking career and name?!” you couldn’t be silent any longer.

Jensen ditched the cards and went to the kitchen to fix himself some coffee. You would not be dismissed so easily and were hot on his heels.

“Goddamnit, Jensen, you may be able to shut out the world, but I will not let you shut me out. You need to quit hiding out up here and get your head out of your ass. The Jensen I know is a fighter, so fucking fight!”

You stormed out of the cabin, shoving the door open and walked down to the dock area where you collected some rocks to throw as hard as you could. You kept it up until you ran out of frustration and rocks to throw, finally sitting on the end of the dock with your feet in the water.

You sat there for a while, rehashing every word said and adding things here and there to strengthen your argument. Just when you thought maybe he wasn’t going to come out to talk, you felt footsteps on the dock. He nudged your shoulder with a mug. At first you didn’t want to take it, but its glorious smelling contents forced you to grudgingly accept the mug.

Jensen stood on one foot and lowered himself to sit next to you on the dock. For a few moments, he sat in silence, sipping from his own mug, not looking at you, just looking out at the water.

“You’re right,” he said, softly.

I know, you thought.

“I have been hiding. I don’t want to give up my career. I’ve worked too hard. I just…lost my head for a while. I know better…” he said.

“She took advantage of you when you were in a bad way and exploited the shit out of you for 15 minutes of fame. That is not your fault, it’s hers and that makes her a shitty human being, not you,” you took his hand and held it tightly on your lap.

“I don’t want to do anything else. I want to be in this industry. I haven’t just been sitting here. I have ideas for new shows, and I was writing songs. I’d at least like to give them a shot… I do need to stand up and fight. I’m not the guy that lets the bad guy win.”

“There he is… there’s my guy,” you smiled. “I’m proud of you.”

You leaned over for a kiss and he met you half-way. You felt a whole lot better about him and where he was mentally. He’d been sitting at the cabin in a sort of limbo and you’d helped kick his ass out of it. The weather was going to turn soon, you could tell, even the water in the stream felt colder. Your summer vacation was about to end and the familiar pangs of sadness hit you.

When you were a little kid, you used to cry when you had to go home. Not because you didn’t want to go home, but because you didn’t want to leave all of your new friends. By the time you met Jensen, you had your more childish emotions under control and were old enough to be serious about being pen-pals. What didn’t change was the crushing sadness you felt whenever you had to leave Jensen.

“You ever see that movie, ‘Same Time Next Year’?'' you asked.

Jensen finished off his coffee, “Mhm.”

“I don’t want that anymore,” you said.

“Nova… that’s not us,” he said. “We see each other whenever we can. We make time… That’s not us.”

“Well, what are ‘we’ then?” you wanted to know where he saw your relationship going.

“You are the only woman I want by my side. I’ll take you home, but only to pack it up, ‘cause I’m not letting you spend one more night without me next to you. It should always have been you, but things happened the way they did so we can be together now. And now that I have you… I’m not letting you go.”

You couldn’t help but get a little misty. It was nice to be wanted, especially by Jensen. We are so gonna get married, you thought.

“You could have said “girlfriend,” you joked, wiping your eyes.

“That’s such an empty word. You are so much more to me,” he said. “What did you want? How do you want things for us?”

“I just know that I want to be with you. I don’t really have anything holding me to my apartment. My friends are all over the country, so I’m not leaving any friends behind… I can go anywhere…”

“So how does Texas grab you?”

“Hot as actual hell, but acceptable,” you answered.

Jensen grinned, “Yeah, true. You better come with me on jobs. You’ll love it. Freeze your ass off. So, do we have it settled?”

You nodded. You both sat in silence for a while processing everything that just happened. Nearly a month on the mountain with Jensen had been amazing in so many ways. You swung your feet in the water and even though you wished you could stay, it was very important to get back to reality.

“So…” you began, “what do we do now?”

“We get off the mountain as soon as we can.”

“Okay,” you said, “but not tonight.”

You pulled your feet out of the water, got up and started back to the cabin. You looked back over your shoulder to see Jensen quickly catching up.

#jensen ackles rpf #wildwood #kazosa #one and done #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x female reader

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dc418writes · 2 years

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Doctor’s Orders

✨Pairing✨: trucker!Ari Levinsonxblack!reader

Summary🪄: Ari takes care of you while your sick

⚠️: pretty much all fluff💕, mention of sickness (but just a cold, no covid)

A/N🎙: Hey guys! A little update on me; I was sick and then got better to then test positive for Covid🙃 lol (and for those wondering, I’m fine just kinda dealing with a little sinus issues and feeling warm, but nothing serious). So this is something completely self indulgent and short since I’m finally in the mood to write again, and I hope you like it☺️!

A muffled voice from the bathroom prompts you to lift your head—carefully that is, as to not further agitate the dull pounding within your skull—just in time to see your husband place his cell phone in the back pocket of his jeans. Eyebrows furrowed, you try to sit up the best you can before his smooth, hushed voice instructs you to lie back down.

“You’re supposed to be at work,” you state settling against the propped pillows he was sweet enough to help you with last night. Your voice strained due to your irritated and raw throat.

“I took some time off since you’re sick. You don’t need to be here dealing with this by yourself.”

“Ari it’s just a cold I’m-,” you start before being rudely interrupted by your need to cough followed by more pounding to your poor head.

“You were saying?” Pulling his shirt over his head, he misses you sticking out your tongue.

“I’ve been sick and by myself before, I managed pretty okay. Plus you’re gonna get sick being around me.”

“I’ll be fine, now you sit there and rest. I’ll be back.”

“Wait, you’re leaving me?” Your sad eyes causes him to lightly chuckle to himself crossing his strong arms in front of his wide chest.

“To go to the store for you gorgeous,” he smiles with a light shake to his head. “What happened to ‘I managed pretty okay by myself’ huh?”

This just earns him your adorably narrowed eyes before another coughing fit roughly hits your chest.

“I’ll be back,” he whispers against your warm forehead before leaving a peck in the same spot.

It feels like minutes later you’re waking up to running water and watching Ari remove what looked like salt rocks from a plastic bag before pouring it in the tub. Looking at your phone with squinted eyes, you groan realizing you’ve actually been asleep longer than you thought now seeing it’s close to one o’clock in the afternoon.

“Hey, you’re up. I was just about to wake you.”

“How long was I out?”

“Well since I came back, about an hour,” he answers coming towards you with a smaller plastic bag. “Now I know this isn’t your favorite, but we gotta get some medicine in you sweetheart.”

Ever since you were small, this was probably what you hated most about being sick. The thick, syrupy liquid posing as something sweet always made you gag even just thinking about it, and it’s smell wasn’t any better. Sure it was reminiscent of cherries, bubblegum, or whatever scent it was supposed to be, but that underlying medicinal waft couldn’t be masked no matter how hard they tried.

You wondered if that’s why you hardly ever got sick. Your body already knowing, and sharing in, your disdain so it made extra efforts to stay healthy to avoid that 30 milliliters of torture.

“They didn’t have a pill?,” you ask with pouted lips as he shakes the clear bottle and prepares the right dosage for you.

“Pharmacist said the liquid was better since it gets to work faster.” Handing you a bottle of Gatorade and the small plastic cup, you groan sitting against the headboard peering down at the orange liquid.

“I know honey, but the quicker you take it, the quicker you get better. Here, open-,”

“Wait I’m not ready!,” you panic making him chuckle.

“Trust me it’s a trick my mom used with my sister. Now put some of the Gatorade in your mouth, but don’t fill it. Good, now I’m gonna pour in the medicine and you swallow as soon as I’m done. Ready?” After you nod, he’s lifting the plastic cup to your lips and letting the medicine run into your open mouth. Your eyes immediately shutting as tight as they can while you wait for the taste to eventually hit your tongue, but surprisingly it doesn’t come. Well, not as strong as usual that is.

“That’s my girl,” he smiles kissing your temple. “See? Not bad right?”

Shaking your head, you’re soon weakly giggling feeling Ari lift your body to carry you towards the bathroom. They’re short lived though with the return of your short bout of coughs. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you a bath,” he answers sitting you on the toilet so he can remove his shirt from your slightly sweaty body. The warm water and bubbles caressing your skin along with the strong scent of Vicks opening your nose so you can breath has you comfortably sighing as you sit back against the cool porcelain.

“Feel good?”

“Mhm, thank you,” you smile with eyes half shut already while he begins cleaning your arms and chest. “Was this your plan all along? Call out so you can help and see me naked in the process?”

Deeply chuckling with the bite of his lip, his hand grips your ankle bringing it out of the water so he can show the same attention to your leg before moving on to the rest of your body.

“Well…”

“Really?!”

“I’m kidding! You should already know gorgeous,” he winks pecking the top of your damp knee before placing it back in the water.

“So it was the neighbor all along..,” Ari states with eyes still glued to the television screen showing the end credits to some movie he happened to find scrolling through the channels. His arm snuggly wrapped around your waist the whole time as you lied on his chest. “You see that coming?”

Peering down, he finds you asleep and softly snoring making him quietly chuckle to himself. He shouldn’t be surprised though with you being sick and surely fatigued. And not to toot his own horn, but the complete body massage he gave after your bath, rubbing your favorite lavender scented lotion all around your achy body was pretty good judging from your soft sighs and moans.

He guessed he just had the magic touch.

As soon as he’s done gently shifting your body so you’d be under the covers, your lashes are fluttering open and arms stretching above your head tapping against the wooden headboard.

“Aw I missed it,” you tiredly yawn covering your mouth with the thinner sheet of the bed.

“S��alright, we can watch it again tomorrow. Get your rest gorgeous.”

“Did you eat?” You’re the one who’s sick, but still checking on him to make sure he’s okay. You really were too cute.

“Not yet, but I was about to make a sandwich,” he answers standing so he can stretch himself. The muscles of his tank covered back tightening and lengthening respectively before coming to rest together. “What about you though, you hungry?”

“A little,” you shrug.

“How about I make you some soup then? I got the kind you like and those crackers you always get too.”

“Mkay. Thank you.”

“Of course,” he winks striding towards the room door. Before he can enter the hall, your soft voice calling his name has him halting with hand on the silver doorknob as he patiently waits for what you would say next.

“Love you,” you sleepily smile settling your cheek deeper into your plush pillow.

“Love you too gorgeous.”

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#ari levinson #ari levinson x black!reader #ari levinson x reader #chris evans x woc!reader #ari levinson x woc #red sea diving resort #ari levinson au #chris evans #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x reader

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eccentric-nucleus · 2 months

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covid stuff

the last several years have really done a number on my emotional wellbeing. like i would have already said on the whole i tend to be a fairly unhappy person but it's definitely gotten substantially worse with covid. basically every time i go out there are these waves of sadness and anger that just kinda wash over me continually. it's not great.

i don't really like being around people. when i was a kid i got yelled at a lot for, like, not wanting to go to the babysitter's, not wanting to spend time around other people, not really wanting to be in any kind of position where i could be observed by other people. there was a lot of, you know, "listen everybody has to deal with other people sometimes, and part of existing in society is not making things an enormous hassle for other people". yeah yeah plenty of stuff makes you miserable but it is genuinely not the responsibility of other people to restructure their whole lives around whatever upsets you; sometimes you have to just suck it up and deal for the overall good of, like, society. sure. it feels like i am constantly tolerating a lot of things for the good of society

and then covid hits, and it becomes clear that nobody really meant that, not really. i learned the lesson wrong and thought the point was 'for the good of society' and not 'people should never be expected to restructure their lives'. oh, right, it was always about normality all along. if keeping things normal requires hassling some introverted kid, then we gotta hassle that kid. if keeping things normal requires millions dying and who-know how many getting serious, still-unknown long-term medical issues from a plague, well, that's just a cost we'll have to pay. i'm kind of furious every single time i go into a building and i see nobody wearing masks. it's the smallest fucking thing but this vast confluence of habit and pressure means that oh i guess even that was too much to ask.

like a little personal information, i guess: literally every single time i have gone outside in the past four years i have been wearing a mask. it's been annoying! i got pressure bruises on my nose several times! i'm really lucky i don't actually have some job that requires me to interact with people for 8 hours of the day, b/c then i'd have to have figured out something that doesn't wear away at the flesh of my nose longterm. wearing a mask kinda sucks, actually. it's still such a small fucking thing to do and it has such a well-documented impact on transmission rates

it's not like covid went away! covid is going to be around for the rest of human history! waves will come and waves will go, and it's still mutating furiously, & all we can really hope for at this point is that at some point, uh, probably in the next hundred years, it spreads to a form that doesn't give people organ damage. another huge scientific breakthrough that manages to kill off the common cold would be okay too, i guess.

just... seeing all of society go laser-focused on pretending things are fine and nobody needs to go out of their way to mitigate risk or accomodate other people just seems deeply and utterly grotesque. a profound and utter abandonment of any sense of morals or ethics, just to keep things Normal.

so yeah covid on the whole has made me a much more unhappy person. i go through this whole train of thought basically every single time i step outside, which is probably unhealthy. but that's how it is

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anexperimentallife · 9 months

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Health update (bad news ahead)

I try not to mention health stuff too much lately because I'm sure y'all get tired of it lol. But basically, all I can say is it isn't good.

I'm trying to put off medical stuff as much as possible because we still have all the debt to pay off from El's paperwork debacle. Then after we get that paid off, we can FINALLY start saving for the SRRV again instead of doing immigration forms and fees every couple of months and flying out every three years to reset. THEN I can finally worry about catching up on all the medical and dental stuff.

My eye is worse. I'll eventually need cataract surgery on the left one, and will probably need surgery to fix what's left of the retina on the other one, thanks to the blood clot from long covid. We've been hoping the blood clot eye would fix itself over time, and I think I was starting to notice some improvement, but it got suddenly worse last night. (I'd show you a pic, but its gross.)

Man... I used to console myself by reminding myself I at least had one functioning eye lol. Not so much anymore. And I'm afraid of the surgeries, because right now at least the retina is good on one, and the lens on the other, so what if the surgery on one screws up? Do I risk the other one?

The ol' spine injury is acting up to the point at which I've had to double my pain meds for the past couple of weeks just to function at all, and have been able to do very little. I've been mostly homebound since the beginning of the last super typhoon. (I think I managed ONE trip to the supermarket since then, plus my daily balcony excursions.)

Let's see... Oh, and I need one more foot surgery, and a LOT of dental stuff done. And I haven't even started to see about my knees or hip yet.

No updates on the damage to my heart. Gotta get more tests later. Blood pressure has been mostly okay, at least.

So that's the update.

:sigh:

P.S. I interpret "likes" as letting me know you saw it; I know you're not pleased that my health is bad lol

#rob gets medical

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