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mysterylover123 · 4 years

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Top 10 Reveals I’m Excited for in My Hero Academia

mysterylover123

Now first let me clarify what I mean by reveals: There are basically two types of reveals in the story, the Mystery and the internal reveal. Internal reveals are when a character learns something the audience already knows. There is a lot of hidden information I want the characters to learn about, as well as mysteries even the fans don’t know yet.

Also spoilers up until the most recent manga chapter!

#10. JUST WHAT IS BAKUGOU’S HERO NAME?

The fandom has written approximately 20,000 different meta on the question of just what Lord Explosion Murder’s real hero name will eventually be. Recently, Katsuki confirmed that he does indeed have one and has “someone he needs to tell”. Whozat? What is the name, dammit? The answer to this one is probably coming pretty soon, since it’s been brought up in-universe, but we’re all getting pretty impatient to finally learn what it is.

My theory: A play on Bakusatsuo/Ground Zero, or a play on Kacchan that connects the latter to his future goals. The person he wants to tell is...Jeanist! (sorry, Bakugou).

#9. THE LOV’S POWER-UPS

This one’s an internal reveal. Namely, the League has Overhaul’s bullets, the Meta Liberation Army, Gigantomachia and an army of high-end Nomus....but no one knows about this besides the PLF. The kids at UA don’t know. The Pro heroes and cops don’t seem to know, the public as a whole has no idea what a nightmare is brewing behind the scenes for them as the League plots and plans. It’s about time they all learned just what a powerful, dangerous force they’re truly up against in spectacular, horrifying fashion.

My Theory: The League will use their resources (the bullets) to wipe out the Top 10 Pros by erasing their quirks in fights with all their warriors, but the UA kids interning with the Pros will hold their own, showing some hope for the future of heroism.

#8. HAWKS=TRIPLE AGENT=JEANIST KILLER

Another internal reveal, though mixed with a few audience reveals. Namely, did Hawks actually kill Best Jeanist or is this some kind of a bluff? Hawks’ status as a triple agent is something that can serve for some pretty dramatic revelations later on in the narrative - mostly for Endeavor, Tokoyami, and Dabi, learning about his various statuses and having a big “You? No, it couldn’t be!” moment. This one will probably also come soon; he’s been teetering on the edge for way too long.

My Theory: Hawks’ reveal will come during the aforementioned LoV attack arc, and this will initiate the reveal of Kacchan’s hero name. Basically, the first 3 all tie together into a potential future arc that may be coming up sooner than we think. And tie into the next one...

#7. DABI=?

This one is a big mystery, and one that pretty much the entire fanbase has a solid theory on the answer to. Basically, if Dabi is not somehow Toya Todoroki then we’ve all got nothing. The most prominent LoV member to have received no backstory flashbacks in the MLA arc and no real name during the Hideout Raid, the mysterious firebender is a giant enigma...and yet everything about him dovetails nicely with the theory of him being a re-animated version of the allegedly dead Todoroki sibling. He even looks like Toya, so odds on this one are pretty high.

My Theory: The Toya reveal could come out in this very next arc, given all the Nomu/long lost friend drama of the recent chapters and the Todoroki angst arc of the previous ones. Otherwise, it’ll probably wait for a while to finally be unveiled. And the impact on Endeavor and Shoto will be devastating.

#6. WHAT ARE THE OTHER 5 QUIRKS?

Unlike the Avatar state where we know all the powers ahead of time, Midoriya’s future quirks inside of OFA are a complete mystery. Aside from Super Strength and Black Whip, what are the other 5 wielders’ powers? The fact that we have no answers on this one at all yet is really baffling to me, because DIDN’T ALL MIGHT AND GRAN TORINO KNOW NANA’S QUIRK?!!?! Why hasn’t All Might told Deku what quirk he’ll be getting from her yet? We need this information, dude! Also why does one of the silouhettes look like Bakugo? Are you an immortal timelord Kacchan?

My Theory: I think Nana’s quirk must be related to Tomura’s (Maybe a reversal of decay, like a healing power?). As to the other 4, those are complete mysteries. Maybe super senses, some kind of shield, an elemental power, and a wildcard quirk?

#5. TENKO=TOMURA=NANA SHIMURA’S GRANDKID

This is a great big internal reveal that I’m really impatient for more information on. Namely: 1. All Might needs to tell Deku that Tomura is Nana’s grandson. 2. Tomura needs to find out that his grandmother was All MIght’s Master, and 3. to find out that her spirit exists within Midoriya. All of this needs to go down, because that big fight between Tomura and Deku we have to get eventually is going to need some more personal stakes, and anyway why doesn’t Deku know this yet already? Tell him All Might! He needs to know!

My Theory: All Might will tell Deku, who will let this info slip at a crucial moment when fighting Tomura, calling him “Tenko” maybe at some point; this reveal, which Deku will cop to, will send Tomura into a self-searching spiral.

#4. WHO IS DEKU’S DAD?

It’s pretty much grand Shonen tradition for the protagonist to have a completely absent dad, whose identity becomes a major reveal later on in the story. Deku’s dad is perhaps the most absent father in all of fiction, as we have almost zero information about the guy and Deku never even thinks about or mentions him. There are many, many prominent fan theories about who he is, and technically just a brief picture, appearance and characterization would do the trick, but most fans are convinced he must be someone important.

My Theory: Dad for One theorist here. Plenty of evidence/potential reasons it could be true to work with. All for One has some kinda plan that relates to Deku and OFA, and the reveal will come then.

#3. UJIKO=TSUBASA=AFO’S DR=DEKU’S DR?!?

One of the biggest reasons I’m a Dad for One theorist is because of AFO’s doctor being Deku’s doctor from Chapter 1. Ujiko, the mad scientst of the League, is Dr. Tsubasa. He took his relative, Kacchan’s childhood friend, and turned him into the winged Nomu that kidnapped Deku during the Hero Killer Arc. Right now he’s turning Tomura into a butterfly or something. Deku and Kacchan need to learn about this connection, and dole out some sweet justice to this guy. (BTW is it my FMA eyes or does he look a lot like the gold-toothed doctor?)

My Theory: Dad for One hired him to supervise Midoriya, and deliberately picked Tsubasa as an experimentation subject to punish him for picking on Deku (which is also why he’s so cool with going after Bakugo), and Deku and Kacchan will find out by seeing him during a future LoV confrontation.

#2. WHO IS THE UA TRAITOR?

The golden question, indeed? Who, exactly, is the UA traitor? Is there a traitor? How did the league find them if not? Is it confirmed there is a traitor, most likely? And if so, who is it? There are so many prominent theories as to who it could be and how this would impact the story; I’ve read decent arguments from all over the board for every single possible candidate, and while there are plenty that have some solid evidence, only one really appeals to me from a characterization standpoint.

My theory: I’m down with the Uraraka traitor theory, because I love the idea of what it could do with her character, the ways it could affect her relationship with Deku, and the possibilities of the Toga/Ochaco parallels. Of course, I’ll be happy as long as it makes sense and crafts some good drama.

Hon Mentions: Eri will learn Nighteye died (she still doesn’t know); Other characters learn Todoroki’s backstory; Kirishima learns he and Mina fought Gigantomachia; Just freaking tell him you like him already Uraraka

#1. DEKU HAS OFA

This seems like a strange thing to list as a “Reveal”, since Deku got OFA in Chapter 1. But when I say this, I mean Other characters learn about it. Obviously, Kacchan already learned and that was great. So think of the possibilities of other characters finding out! In order of who needs to know: 1. Inko, 2. Tomura, 3. Mirio, 4. Todoroki and his family, 5. Uraraka, Oddly enough, the series could probably progress with nobody but Tomura out of that list learning the truth, but still, the possibilities of the drama worth exploiting from the 9th wielder reveal are almost endless. It’s a bomb under the table waiting to go off to craft neat conflict in the future.

My Theory: Tomura and Ujiko know about OFa. They’ll tell PLF and go on a hunt for the 9th wielder among the likely candidates at UA; the first years and Lemillion, Nighteye’s intern. In the process they’ll figure out it’s Deku and the truth will be revealed to all pertinent characters, making Deku the target of PLF trying to harvest OFA for their own control.

#my hero academia #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugou #bakugou's hero name #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #hawks #mha hawks #best jeanist #one for all #all for one #nana shimura #tenko shimura #ua traitor theory #dad for one #ujiko

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hypnotixstorm · 4 years

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[1/3]Hi! i'd like a FMA and Bleach matchup 👉👈? I'm a INFJ-T, female, Virgo sun, Libra moon, Pieces rising. I'm 5'11 and very insecure about my height, because of that I'm very awkward around others, when I'm awkward I DO NOT stop talking. I'm very shy and reserved, frankly judgmental with people I don't know. it’s something I'm trying to work on. those who I feel are trusting enough or even really worth of me as a friend, I cherish completely.I'd do anything to protect the people I care about

[2/3]I’m a little different around my friends, i'm much more bold and open with myself. I find myself to be a little annoying given how loud I can get. I like to pick on my friends, playfully of course. little pranks, stealing things only to give it back. I worry sometimes I go too far. but I trust they'd tell me that. I'm very protective over the people I care about, I've been told I 'mother' a lot. I enjoy artsy things, and I draw and write occasionally.

[3/3]Though I'm very critical of anything I'm interested in or create, not to mention obsessive. Once I'm interested in something I kind of suck the life out of it until I know everything about it, or just lose interest. I do tend to get clingy with people I care about though it's something i'm trying to work on. I do tend to procrastinate on things but motivations aren't hard to find for me. most say I have a shortish temper, but really I just have a variety of pet peeves. have a wonderful day!

Okay, so I’m sorry it’s taken me a little bit to get back to you! You gave me LOTS of information to work with and I had to do lots of research! I really wanted to make sure I matched you with the best possible people and I really think my picks are good ones! I hope you think so as well. Please make sure to let me know! I pair you with...

Okay so first up, we’ve got Mr. Jean Havoc from FMA!

I know, I know he’s a huge flirt and a ladies man, but he’s the type of guy who, once he’s with someone, he’s with THEM and drops his habits

Honestly? He loves your height!

Dude, it’s seriously such a huge turn on

He loves long legs and will literally drool over and worship them, no joke

Also, he thinks your nervous blabbering is rather endearing, as is your shy and reserved nature

I feel like Jean is also fond of pulling pranks on others as well and whenever you open up to him, the two of you will def work together to prank Mustang and the others

Or you’ll just have prank wars between each other, which honestly terrifies the entire group, because they will inevitably get caught up in it somehow

Jean would honestly be really invested in your hobbies

He’d want to see whatever it is you create or read whatever you write, doing his best to compliment it in an “artistic” way, but ultimately unable to say anything more than “Wow, this is great!”

Havoc could for sure handle your temper, he’s a really chill and laid back dude

He would DEFINITELY love the clinginess

It would probably be a huge ego boost for him actually

He’d want you by his side all the time anyways, can’t have anyone stealing his literal goddess

That’s his favorite nickname for you; Goddess

He is constantly calling you that, omg, it’s so cute because he really thinks your height gives you an ethereal aura

Jean is at a loss for words most of the time that you’re around, which is really unusual for him

But he doesn’t mind, in fact, it’s the opposite

This man really does worship you I s2g

Next up is Strawberry Boi, Ichigo!

I feel like at first, he wouldn’t really be bothered by your excessive talking, shy nature or your height

Honestly, he would probably say something to offend you because the poor boy is a bit oblivious at times

However, as soon as he realized he did it, he would be a mess and constantly apologizing

He’d also fight anyone who said anything to upset you

No seriously, you’d have to pull him off of them because he would not stop

Ichigo really cares about you and feels bad for anything and everything bad that happens to you and in your life

After the two of you have gotten together, he really appreciates your height

Tbh, he’s so used to having to look down at everyone around him that you’re really refreshing to be around

Not to mention the fact that he thinks your height is ‘powerful’ if that makes any sense

Like, it makes you exude an aura of power and authority and he thinks it’s hot

He really is understanding of the trust issues

He has his own emotional baggage that he has to deal with, so he doesn’t really hold it against you

I don’t feel like Ichigo really participates in pulling pranks with you, but he thinks they’re funny and he will joke around with you

Ichigo knows nothing of art or writing, all he can do is play guitar and sing, so I feel like the two of you write songs together/for each other, once you’ve been together for a while of course

It’s really adorable honestly

I feel like he’s the exact same way with his hobbies though. Very critical of his skills, both with singing and playing and he cycles through periods of obsession and disdain

So, you won’t really have to worry about him in that aspect. In fact, he’s right there with you, struggling just as badly

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thefanciestborrower · 4 years

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🍴

Maes. Freaking. Hughes. If you’ve seen or read fma you know what I’m talking about. This guy just radiates chaotic pred energy and I absolutely love it. He’s super excitable and constantly ready to help with whatever needs doing so of course I can see him always willing to eat anyone who asks. He’d make a sort of game out of it most times, lightly teasing and complimenting his prey on their flavor and movement. Though he’d never ever EVER try any sort of fearplay. As a father I think he just wouldn’t be able to stand terrifying someone smaller than him, even if it is all in fun. That said he’d totally be up for a friendly game of cat and mouse around his office or somewhere safe where the prey wouldn’t get stepped on. Otherwise he’d keep them perched up on his shoulder or in his pocket, ready to gulp them down only when they ask.

He probably enjoys mouthplay quite a bit and loves using the prey as a sort of stim toy in his mouth while he does paperwork, with their permission of course. Expect lots of gentle squishes and nibbles if you spend any amount of time in his mouth. I’d think he’s got a bit of a larger capacity for prey, able to comfortably hold around four or five at once. But he really prefers to keep the number around two since his stomach is a bit ticklish and he’d rather not attract a lot of stares from giggling throughout the day.

Even though he’s a gentle soul for the most part he absolutely will not hesitate to throw hands with anyone who dares threaten his prey. How dare they pick on someone only a faction of their own size.

His stomach is probably one of the most comfortable of all my vore crushes. All soft and pillowy with enough room to juuuust be able to stretch out without too many restrictions. He always pays attention to his prey even when their inside, though said affection often comes in the way of simple pats and rubs. It’s a clear tell he’s got someone inside if you know what to look for. He’ll often hum and whistle while he works which makes an excellent background ambiance for his friends inside to fall asleep to. He’s definitely not above forcing one of his colleagues to take a break by eating them and it’s earned him his fair share of stomach aches, but to him it’s all worth it to feel them finally fall asleep after way too long of staying up for work.

I feel like I could go on about this guy forever so I’m gonna stop here but if I’m ever in the mood then I might continue this.

#asks #vore ask #fandom vore

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winryofresembool · 5 years

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Edwin family fic: Don’t Forget

Summary: The Rockbell-Elric family has a new reason to not forget October 3rd.

A/N: I know, it’s been 3000 years and more! But here it finally is, a new fic in honor of the FMA day :) This fic is sort of a “collaboration” with @criis55 who did this totally adorable piece of art of our fankids. Go check it out if you haven’t!

A little info on the fankids: I (and Cris) HC that Edwin has 6 kids. Here are their ages in this fic:

Alan: 16

Emma: 14

Elena: 11

Arthur: 10

The twins (Henry & Erika): 5

If you wanna know more about them, feel free to check my art/fic tags or ask about them directly from me :D I am always happy to share some info!

Genre: Fluff. Oh, I’m back to my ol’ habits.

Words: 1600+

Warnings: none

...

“Hey Ed”, Winry tried to catch her husband's attention once they had put their kids into bed. “I was wondering...”

"Yeah?" Ed asked curiously.

"You know what day tomorrow is, right?" Winry asked a bit hesitantly.

"It's October third… The twins' birthday. And the day when..."

"Yeah, the day when you and Al... Left for your journey." Winry said carefully, not really wanting to bring up what else the boys had done that day.

"That's one way to put it..." Ed sighed and sat down on the bed. "It's been 24 years since then..."

"A lot has changed. For the better."

"You're right." Ed nodded, a bit absent mindedly as he was recalling the events from his youth.

"That's why I would like to do something special for that day,” Winry surprised him.

"Hmmm?" Ed asked. "What do you have in your mind?"

"You... Remember that family picture your family took when you were just little kids?"

"Oh course, it was when my father...."

"My point is,” Winry stopped Ed before he could start his usual rant about his good for nothing father. “That old photo caught my eye the other day and I realized we haven't taken one of the 8 of us after the twins were born. They turn 5 already so it would be about time, don't you think?"

"Mmmm... Sure, why not,” Ed agreed. “But you know there's a reason why we haven't gotten them into a picture? Because one moment they are sitting on the sofa petting the dog, and then you pat your eyes once and suddenly they are throwing the dog's food at each other like it was a snowball fight."

"Maybe we have better luck this time. It's worth trying, right?" Winry asked.

"Yeah, of course," Ed admitted, although still slightly skeptical.

"This is gonna be good. I promise."

The next day started pretty much the way Ed had expected. Alphonse and Mei had gotten the twins a birthday cake because Winry had been working long hours on a new automail and teaching Alan some new techniques she had learned, while Ed had been busy babysitting and writing his new book. However, they had unfortunately forgotten that the twins hated all the dairy products, even more than their father. That’s why, when the birthday kids saw that the cake had a cream frosting on it, instead of something that tasted a little less like milk (like chocolate), the hell broke loose.

“Dad! I’m not eating this!”

“I want a chocolate cake!!”

“Henry, your uncle brought it, you’d better be more polite! Erika, chocolate has also milk in it, it’s no different than this!” Ed scolded his kids.

“You’re mean, dad!” Erika screamed, the 5-year-old brain of hers shocked about this information.

“Hey Rika, if the cake is not edible, then no one can eat it, right?” Henry asked slyly.

“Yep, you are right, brother!” Erika nodded, with a gleam in her eye that usually knew nothing good.

“DON’T DO IT!” Ed yelled, but too late. The twins had already dug into the cake and caught big pieces of it in their small hands, and they were now throwing them at each other. The blue shirts their parents had picked for the photograph later that day were covered in cream, and the cake was ruined.

“And what are we supposed to eat now?!” Ed growled after taking an entire minute to calm down a bit. “And what are you gonna wear for the photo? Your mum is gonna kill me when she gets home.”

…

Thankfully, the household was full of helpful people. The twins had been bathed and changed into clean clothes (green ones this time), Alan had cleaned the kitchen, and an apple pie courtesy of Al, Mei, and Elena was in the oven by the time Winry arrived from running her errands. She looked at her family a bit suspiciously when they were sitting so peacefully at the table but said nothing about it at first. She did, however, notice the new shirts on the twins and couldn’t not ask: “Ed, what happened to the blue shirts? Didn’t we decide…”

“They messed them up, mum,” Emma said, tired of everyone trying to keep a poker face. “… Started playing with the cake…”

“Cake… I thought… I thought this was what you guys brought…” Winry gestured towards the apple pie with confusion.

“Sorry, Winry… It was my fault, I should have taken better care of them,” Ed said before she could raise her voice at the kids.

The mother of 6 took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment.

“Let’s just… forget about it for now and try this pie instead. But twins, you will apologize to uncle Al and aunt Mei once we’re done. They got the cake for you to eat, not to destroy.”

“Don’t worry about it, Winry,” Al waved it off. “Kids will be kids. I should have remembered they have my brother’s blood in them, and they can’t handle cream.” He threw a sly look towards Ed.

“Hey!” Ed barked back. “It’s not like I /taught/ them to hate dairy products!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you had,” Al retorted and the rest of group started laughing.

…

“OK, is everyone ready for the photo? Alan, why are you still in your working clothes?! You don’t have time to change them anymore. Emma, why are you wearing black? Didn’t we agree on blue? Elena, sweetie, you are the only who is dressed up decently. Yeah, yeah, Ed, you look nice too. Have I told you I like your beard?”

Winry did her best to make sure everyone was looking their best in the picture. Sure enough, most of the kids didn’t have the clothes they had originally planned, but she knew her family and she knew that if she started nitpicking, it would take the photographer at least an extra hour to get his work done. Besides, wasn’t it better that they looked like their usual selves rather than some people they were not?

…

Here’s how the photo ended up looking:

Before the photographer had arrived, Alan had been practicing the new automail model his mother had taught him earlier, so he was, while a bit tired and dirty, also very content in the picture after a successful day of working.

Emma, on the other hand, looked like she wanted to be anywhere but in the picture, but she had managed to make her parents promise that her dog Key could be in the photo as well, so she couldn’t talk herself out of it.

Elena was used to being in front of camera, and to her mother’s relief she had also picked a cute dress as her outfit, so compared to everyone else, she looked like a model citizen in the photo.

The music loving Arthur had just read from some magazine that artists should try to stand out, so instead of blue, he had picked a red shirt, and he was trying to do the pose he had seen many young musicians do in the PR photos.

The birthday kids stood out with their green shirts and lively expressions, but the parents were happy they had managed to get them to calm down for a moment. Or maybe it was the photographer who had promised the kids sweets once he was done.

All in all, Ed and Winry thought the photo was a success, and worth the trouble they had seen.

…

“Can you believe?” Ed asked absentmindedly while looking at the brand-new photo on Winry and his nightstand.

“Believe what?” Winry asked with confusion, sneaking her arms around her husband’s torso while peeking over his shoulder.

“That this is our life now? Who would have thought 24 years ago…”

“Hmmm?”

Ed was a quiet for a while, but finally he opened up a bit: “I was a lost kid, with just one goal in my life: to get Al’s body back. I couldn’t let myself think of anything else. That’s why I also…”

“Burned down your house…” Winry said quietly.

“Yeah…”

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but… while I was so scared for you two that night, I also… I think I also admired you a bit,” she confessed.

“Why? We did an awful thing!”

“It was because you were so determined,” Winry answered calmly. “I trusted that with that determination – or stubbornness – you’d manage to do what you were set to do. And you did.”

“Yeah… You know we got a lot of help, though,” Ed tried to shrug it off.

“And none of it was undeserved. You tend to see your mistakes, but you did a lot of things right, as well. Look at your kids, for example. They may have inherited the Elric way of showing it, but… I know they love you a lot. And… so do I, of course.”

“Thanks, Win… However, I wouldn’t have been able to do two of my proudest accomplishments without you. One, kicking that Father guy’s ass without your automail, and two, these little brats.” He pointed at the photo, smiling.

“Well, I admit that latter could have been a bit hard without me,” Winry chuckled, “but that’s why we make a good team. We created some pretty great kids, didn’t we?”

“Yeah. Even the twins,” Ed said jokingly.

“Even the twins,” Winry laughed. “Now,” she pushed Ed down on the mattress playfully, “would you like to share with me why they hate milk so much?”

“I can’t explain it, it’s in their genes!” Ed yelped before starting a wrestling match with his wife.

#edwin #edxwin #fullmetal alchemist #edward elric #winry rockbell #my fics #woop woop

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theseerasures · 4 years

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Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2019

i mean, everyone's doing these write-ups, right? might as well hop onto the bandwagon

towards the end of last year i had one of my typical existential crises about my media consumption: am i slowly disappearing up my own ass because i no longer care about most of the pop culture people like to discuss ad nauseam? but on the other hand, isn’t it more responsible to find the niche items made by non-mainstream and marginalized creators? on the third hand, wouldn’t i be much happier if i just watched FMA Brotherhood over and over again, preferably while starting a new Mass Effect playthrough at the same time?

the answer to all these questions is probably “yes,” but i decided to try something different going into 2019. for every week of the year, i would try to get through a year’s worth of content for some kind of media, be it comics, video games, TV, etc--they didn’t all have to be recent, or even new to me, but once i was done with that week i’d be done, even if i didn’t finish the content, and i’d make a judgement based what i’d seen on whether i want to continue. mostly, i was trying to avoid what happened to me with video games in 2018, when i was hating every second of playing Uncharted but still felt obligated to finish because everyone and their houseplant liked Uncharted or listlessly doing the Master Hunter achievement in RDR2 because the main quest made me miserable.

the actual outcomes of this Project(tm) are a little more complicated than anticipated--some media i could finish in a day, while trying to play through ALL THE CONTENT OF AN MMO understandably took much longer than a week--but it all kind of evened out. in the end i did 48 weeks of this, and used December as my catch-ups month to follow up on some things i didn’t get to finish. i thought i’d give my thoughts on each of the things i consumed this year as part of this project below in a concise manner--and yes, i know the people who’ve read even one (1) thing i’ve written are probably laughing right now, particularly given how long i took in this introduction just to get to me point, but i really am going to try!! it’s all an exercise in shameless self-indulgence, basically, but hey: if any of you want to chat at length about any of this stuff below, hit me up.

(quick note: you’ll only find media that i chose for this particular project below, so things i watched socially with friends--like certain film properties slorping me back into Disney’s gelatinous monolith--are not included)

Devilman Crybaby (anime, finished 1/5/2019): honestly i should have twigged onto what the year was going to be like when the first thing i drew from the metaphorical barrel was demon tiddies and apocalyptic existentialism. i was determined to dislike it for most of the year due to fundamentally disagreeing with its main thematic thrust, but i kept THINKING about it even months after. at this point i’ve kinda mellowed out. it’s definitely not a must love, but there’s enough queer metaphor and philosophical richness in it to make it worth checking out.

Attack on Titan (manga, 3 volumes finished 1/12/2019): this is the second time i’ve tried to get into this franchise and...yeah, no. i still don’t see the appeal. the fascistic overtones juxtaposed with absolutely no one having a sense of humor wigs me out to no end.

Young Justice (TV, 2.5 seasons finished 1/31/2019): honestly, what even is there to say? they’re my kids. they’re back and grown up and making even more terrible decisions. i screamed when i saw Babs in her wheelchair.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf (book, finished 2/10/2019): i tried VERY HARD to like this book, given how much i liked Brief History of Seven Killings, but it just...didn’t click for me. which honestly is fine, since i don’t think it was made for me either.

Dragon Age (3 games, finished 2/28/2019): i feel like there’s always a part of me that’s going to think of this series as “the other one,” but y’know. it’s good. it’s my second playthrough (as a mage for all three) and it’s good! i even went around killing all the dragons in Inquisition because Knight Enchanter was a blast. appreciate the higher queer content vis-a-vis Mass Effect, even though i couldn’t care less about any of the plot. Dragon Age II is the best one, do not @ me

Bitter Root (comic, 4 issues finished 3/1/2019): i love intergenerational dramas and i love stories about vampire slayers, so this was aces. my only complaint is the pacing was a little slow for a story that was going on hiatus after five issues.

Pearl (comic, 6 issues finished 3/3/2019): i know that he’s done great things and grudgingly admit that he’s probably a net positive in the industry but Brian Michael Bendis can suck my entire dick

Lazarus (comic, 5 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i really thought this was going to clench the position for comic of the year. it’s Rucka doing Highly Relevant Dystopia! it’s a corporate Lannisters AU! it’s a highly personal story about a woman with high privilege and little agency! what more could you want

Immortal Hulk (comic, 2 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i vibed with the horror feel, but i don’t honestly think it’s THAT exceptional. being set in 616-verse means there was still ton of baggage i didn’t know or care about, since i’ve now swung more to the DC side of things

thank u, next (album, finished 3/5/2019): didn’t Ariana Grande get canceled this year for some reason? oh well, i liked her album

When I Get Home (album, finished 3/13/2019): i vividly remember listening to this for the first time and feeling vaguely disappointed that it wasn’t more like Seat at the Table until i realized that i was covered in goosebumps. still don’t understand the magic but it is Good

The Bird King (book, finished 3/23/2019): pretty much everything you’d expect from a G. Willow Wilson book--spirituality, the female lead finding Themselves and the Answer and learning they’re the same thing, etc etc. i’m slightly resentful that her Wonder Woman was so lackluster while this was so good, but whatevs

Psychodrama (album, finished 3/29/2019): possibly my favorite album of the year? dense and emotionally raw in a way i really appreciate. Dave has a Mercury and he’s younger than me

Mass Effect (4 games, finished 4/7/2019): wow guys did you know that Mass Effect is good! it is. all of it is actually, even the Mass Effect 3 ending, another controversial finale to a big franchise that i will obstinately defend. even Andromeda, which isn’t AS good as the trilogy but still has a lot of heart. all its bugs have been exhaustively patched since launch anyway

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV, 4 seasons finished 5/13/2019): i’m...still kind of mad about this finale, but can’t exactly deny that this show is one of the best things to ever happen to me, or television probably. i didn’t even mind new!Greg that much! tho he was probably the nail on the coffin of me jumping onto the Nathaniel train.

Knights of the Old Republic/The Old Republic (3 games, finished 7/4/2019): did you guys know that KOTOR II was my first ever video game? i feel like that...explains a lot about me. anyway, the first game is a classic and the second is a deconstructive classic and playing either of them is basically a fun way for me to turn off my brain these days. even the MMO wasn’t as much of slog as i worried it would be. the Imperial Agent storyline had some nice surprises and i dig the general atmosphere of ruthless pragmatism and crushing loneliness.

Wanderers (book, finished 7/13/2019): Chuck Wendig is a very well-intentioned man in dire need of a strict editor. still good tho! some VERY punchy emotional bits and an ending that still leaves me with vague existential terror.

Code Geass (anime, 2 seasons finished 7/20/2019): i feel like this is on the polar opposite of the spectrum as Devilman Crybaby, because i don’t think Geass is GOOD on like, any basis, and i actually find its central moral message kind of abhorrent? but some part of my lizard brain LOVED the High Imperial Family Drama (it’s been a good year for me and Lannister types, hasn’t it? well, with the obvious exception of--never mind), so...yeah. have i discovered the true meaning of guilty pleasure

The Farewell (movie, finished 7/23/2019): how could i not a) watch this and b) love this and c) feel emotionally cold towards this at the same time because the situations depicted were so similar to mine that i ended up feeling kind of alienated

The Nickel Boys (book, finished 8/8/2019): i STILL haven’t read Underground Railroad, but here i am a book late and a dollar short to appreciate Whitehead’s new book. the man’s stylistic versatility is jaw-dropping and i appreciate the plotting in contrast to like, 90% of the litfic out there that’s just “protagonist sad in different milieu”

Durarara (anime, 2 seasons finished 8/31/2019): it’s fucking bonkers and i loved pretty much every second of it? even the second season, where i finally got the BruceNat AU i deserved??? the first anime i’ve seen where everyone was relatively soberly dressed. the answer was love and having feelings and asking your middle school best friend to hurl you like a projectile so you can chop your girlfriend’s head off with a demon katana

Lover (album, finished 9/1/2019): i feel like with all the Discourse surrounding Taylor Swift re: she’s the devil incarnate or re: she’s good, actually the fact that she makes fucking bops gets kind of lost in the conversation. i have no vested interest in her as a person but i liked Lover, even though London Boy was “what if Style but stupid”

Are You Listening (comic, finished 10/2/2019): my actual choice for best comic of the year if i were giving out awards like that. it’s coming of age! it’s grief! it’s queers! it’s trauma! it’s magical realism! it’s cats! it’s expressive gorgeous art! Tillie Walden has an Eisner and she’s younger than me

High School DxD (manga, 2 volumes finished 10/10/2019): i don’t even know how to talk about this series?? i actually kind of came around to the whole “main character is a perv but goes hard for consent” by the end of the second volume, but it’s still...bad. i only can have lingering conflicted feelings about one Japanese adaptation of Christian mythology per year

Ghosteen (album, finished 10/18/2019): much like Immortal Hulk i thought it was fine but over-hyped. it’s Nick Cave doing his Nick Cave ethereal music thing. i still can’t tell what any of the lyrics mean, except Jesus is there sometimes

Watchmen (TV, 2 episodes finished 10/29/2019): i am nOT FUCKING CAUGHT UP so please watch out for spoilers. it is on my high priority list of things to be caught up on tho--i appreciate that the plot is blatantly unsubtle but still manages to give me aneurysms and i appreciate the political overtones just kinda...balances on a razor thin wire and also gives me aneurysms. i wanna say i have no expectations and would be fine if it does a full dive into the horrible bland depths of the both-sides porridge, but i’m sadly a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof

Syllabus/Making Comics (2 comics, finished 12/24/2019): it’s funny--even before Making Comics came out i was like “man i miss Lynda Barry” and then BAM. it’s incredible how her work just makes me feel taken care of, even when we’re wrestling with tough topics or she’s demanding that i draw a Batman in 30 seconds. kudos for immediately shooting to the top of my gift list for my sister also

Allegiance/Choices of One (2 books, finished 12/24/2019): fun and largely inoffensive, but i was honestly hoping for more. the level of Empire apologia going on was too much for me, someone who thinks Mara Jade is the best Star Wars character of all time (still?????? still). it reeked a little of Zahn believing his own hype as the only valid guy in Star Wars Legends of whatever

Aldnoah.Zero (anime, 1 season finished 12/24/2019): turns out i also can only have “trash but my trash” feelings about one Japanese mecha show with higher art pretensions and patriotism verging into jingoism per year, and this one ain’t it. it’s not as good as Code Geass and Code Geass ISN’T GOOD. at least Geass attempted character complexity and moved at enough of a breakneck pace to distract me from its questionable bits. Aldnoah is just...bland, and nothing gets accomplished or revealed in 12 episodes, except the baffling and contradictory motivations of the main bad guy.

Baldur’s Gate (game, unfinished): yet again something i really wanted to like, given *gestures at all the BioWare above*. i think it’s mainly the Seinfeld issue, where it actually predates my own experience with video games and was so formative for the Western RPG genre that what was innovative just comes across as kind of staid now. i didn’t DISLIKE it, and will probably play the sequel since it’s supposed to be more character-driven, but by the time i finished the vanilla campaign i just didn’t have it in me to squint at more tiny avatars on the screen, so the expansions ended up a no-go.

most prominent thing i noticed about this list is that only one 2019 movie made it on the list and ZERO 2019 video games did so. the former i’m okay with because i currently live with two film people with whom i’m happy to tag along to the cinema. the latter bums me out a little more, because there WERE a few things i wanted to play this year, but all of them came out just as my semester was reaching its catastrophic boil, so i had no time. maybe i’ll use my free time after the New Year festivities to catch up on those.

to conclude: this worked out pretty well! i ended up finishing all but one of the things, and only a few were bad enough that i have no interest in seeking out more content. i’ll probably do this again in 2020--we’ll see if the scheduling can withstand a full year of grad school hell

#let's break out a new tag for this since this isn't really meta #conspicuous media consumption

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zippers · 5 years

Note

I KNOW like 03 lusts whole arc was her breaking away from her attachments from men and becoming her own person

YES and also they subvert the trope of the girl sacrificing herself to save the guy she loves by having Scar sacrifice himself to save her even though he didnt have to and her death is the most respectful out of all the homunculi (as opposed to being violently murdered by a war criminal who the viewer is supposed to sympathize with for some reason) like all she wants is to be reunited with the culture and freedom that was stolen from her by a white woman in power (rather than, like, being creepily subservient to a guy who is literally called father which is just... okay...)

AND ON THE SUBJECT OF WOMEN IN FMA 2003 winry's friendship with paninya is not centered around ed, and paninya is treated with so much respect rather than being a pickpocket because she feels indebted to a man (???), and winry and sheska have a whole arc together and WINRY is the first one to realize who sloth is and also they LIVE TOGETHER and winry and Rose are also friends and also LIVE TOGETHER and are raising Rose's kids together and also who else remembers when Winry and Sheska are watching the Elric bros leave Risembool and Winry rests her head on Sheska's shoulder and they embrace because I DO

AND SLOTH okay i just loove that the women villains are not just like. sexy sexy cuz like Lust is sexy but the lust she represents is lust for knowledge and humanity rather than just sexiness which is so nice like she has big titties but she is shown to be suuuper knowledgable about alchemy to the point where she is able to tell Lujon what books are credible for alchemy. like SHE teaches him alchemy (and sex lol) and knows how to make a philosopher's stone but cannot because homunculi cant perform alchemy. but! anyway sloth is such a good twist on the dying mother trope because she is neither dead nor a mother. and even though she has these maternal feelings she hates them and rejects them.

like there are sooo many different representations of women who act as guardians (NOT neccessarily mother figures which conveys a specific role, usually these mentor/guardian types are men esp to male characters) to the elrics, most notably Pinako, Gracia, Maria, Marta, Clara, and Rose (only the first two have that role in mangahood). And it's worth noting that Hawkeye doesnt have that role in the elrics' life because she is loyal to Mustang (unlike Maria and Bloch who literally go undercover against his/the military's orders to help the Elrics and also free the Tringhams from the death penalty), like even the relationship she has with Winry is completely different because 03 Riza is a war criminal and that is made very clear to the audience. whereas mangahood wants the audience to sympathize with her/see her as a tool for Mustang manpain despite this fact.

okay this is super long so im just gonna end it here I dont know how to add a read more on mobile 😅

#fma #fma03 #fma 2003 #long post

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lloydskywalkers · 5 years

Text

skywalker syndrome

-and its resulting karma, ahaha

Coming in late to the party here, but this Lloyd-gets-a-robot-arm is the good stuff, you guys. Good enough to drag me from homework for 7K words worth of rambling, apparently. And hngh I know that it’s movie-verse but I just. I had an idea for the show, and it wouldn’t let go of me so here’s! this disaster, mostly spawned from my excessive reading of FMA fics back in the day.

(Takes place during season 9, btw!)

It’s nearing the height of dusk when the scream rings out across the city, the sky a midnight blue behind the smoky streaks left from fires as the agonized cry echoes loudly across the empty, near-haunted streets, reverberating from building to half-wrecked building. Ronin stiffens at the sound, his hands clenching sharply around the hilt of the knife tucked in his belt. He goes still, the tail end of the scream slowly fading around him where he stands half-hidden in the alley, shrouded in the darkness left by the shattered street lights.

The group of bikers he’s hiding from seem to take a similar reaction, their normal manic expressions replaced by the same alarm, the same looks of discomfort Ronin knows he wears as the hairs on his neck crawl. There are several exchanged glances, a burst of rude chatter, and the Sons of Garmadon are gone, racing back down the streets with a roar of engines as loud as they came with.

Ronin exhales, letting his hand stray from the knife. He’s never been one to avoid risks, but in a time like this, cutting it close is a little too close for him. He ought to keep a better eye out as he heads back.

He spares one last glance at the darkened sky, his thoughts straying to the scream. While it’s not uncommon to hear a cry echo out across Ninjago City, especially in these days, there was something undeniably eerie about this one, a sinking kind of dread that claws at Ronin’s heart even now that it’s long-faded.

He swallows, shaking off the feeling best he can. Whoever they are, he can only hope they either escaped or met a quick, painless end. Either way, it’s not his problem.

He really should have known better, with the crowd he hangs out with.

********

“M’sorry.”

“It’s not your fault — Pixal, help me, I’m losing my grip-“

“Sorry.”

“Here, grab his ar-“ There’s a sharp, shaking inhale. “Just hold him up, we’re almost back to the warehouse-“

“M’sorry, Nya-“

“Stop apologizing and stay awake, just —! Pixal, can you - hey, no no no, eyes on me, okay?”

“S’my fault.”

“I said eyes on me!”

********

It’s Lloyd’s own stupid fault, that’s what it comes down to.

Not that everything going horribly-pear-shaped wrong due to a classic Lloyd screw-up is anything new, but Nya’s trying her best to push that it’s not, and Lloyd appreciates it, but this time, it actually, truly, very-much-without-a-doubt is his fault.

“Five minutes,” Ronin growls, stalking through the warehouse. “I leave for five minutes, and - and this happens?”

He gestures wildly at Lloyd, who’s still lying half-trapped in Nya’s embrace and is unlikely to escape anytime soon. Skylor glares at him.

“Keep it down,” she says, her voice hushed but strained. “We didn’t have anything to sedate him with.”

Ronin swears, but the horror’s more evident in his voice now. He gives the busted table chair a half-hearted kick, before collapsing wearily in it, grinding a palm against his eyes. “How’s he holding up?”

Lloyd feels a gentle hand card through his hair, and his heart hurts at how he can feel Nya’s fingers still trembling.

“He’s alive,” Nya breathes, small and quiet. “That’s what matters.”

“The surgery was successful at halting the bleeding,” Pixal murmurs from somewhere to his right. “That’s the best we can do for now.”

There’s a choked sob nearby, which Lloyd recognizes as his mother. Mystake’s gravelly tones pick up, though her words don’t entirely make it through the cloudy haze that’s settled in Lloyd’s brain. He frowns — or tries to, he thinks — when his mouth won’t move. He wants to tell them that he’s fine. It doesn’t hurt that much anymore, really. There’s a constant ache, and if he moves there’s a seventy percent chance he’s gonna break down crying, but compared to the fiery agony from earlier, this is nothing. He feels off-balance if anything, like someone’s shifted him too far to one side. Lighter, like he’s lost some heavy weight that used to be there.

Lloyd frowns, and he feels his eyebrows moving this time. He strains, trying to pull his right arm closer. He’s met with that off-balance feeling again, except this time there’s an odd kind of emptiness. His frown grows deeper, and he tries to move his fingers, to get his right hand to move-

“Hey, it’s okay, go back to sleep.” Nya’s voice is soft and familiar, comforting in a way only Nya is, and Lloyd feels her hand in his hair again. “I’ve got you, okay? Just go back to sleep.”

Lloyd wants to protest, but he lets it go, exhaustion pulling him back under. A nagging part of him fights it, wondering why there’s an undercurrent of heartbreak in Nya’s voice. Wonders why his mother was sobbing, why Ronin was so angry, why Pixal kept going on about a surger-

Lloyd’s eyes snap open. He stares blankly up at the ceiling of the warehouse, memory crashing back down on him with all the subtle force of a wrecking ball.

Oh yeah, he thinks dully, as he stops trying to move his right arm.

He doesn’t have one anymore.

*****

“You know, out of everyone, I think you’re the best with handling stitches.”

Nya doesn’t look up from his ar— from his…shoulder, but she gives a quiet hum of acknowledgement.

“Like, it’s not that hard a competition, ‘cause Kai always looks like he’s gonna puke instead, Cole an’ Zane seem like they’re gonna start crying, and Jay’s more likely to sew his sleeve to you instead, but still.”

Nya finally snorts at that, and Lloyd feels the darkened, crushing weight that’s made itself at home on his chest lift a little bit.

“Cole’s actually better at it,” she says quietly, carefully dragging the antiseptic-soaked cloth over the wound again. “I get pretty emotional sometimes too.”

“Well—” Lloyd trips over his own tongue as something in his shoulder sears hot, and he tries to hide the flinch (Nya’s looked sad enough recently). “I still think you’re the best. And that’s not a knock on you, uh, being a girl and stuff, since this is technically sewing, you know, and that’s usually-“

“Let it go while you’re ahead, green machine,” but Nya’s smiling for real this time. She gives him a look. “Besides, we all know you’re the best seamstress after Zane. I saw what you did with your uniform.”

“M’not a seamstress,” Lloyd argues. “I’m a…seamst-er? That sounds wrong…”

Nya shakes her head in amusement, and, to Lloyd’s eternal relief, finally begins to wrap the bandages around what’s left of his upper arm.

There’s not much. Lloyd swallows thickly, finally sparing it a glance now that the actual wound’s hidden from view. There’s his shoulder, there’s the end of it, there’s some bandages, and then—

Nothing. Just empty space.

The warm weight of Nya’s hand finds his own (his only), squeezing briefly. “It is hurting again?”

Lloyd shakes his head. “No,” he says. It’s not entirely a lie. The weight sitting on his chest hurts a lot more.

Nya hesitates, her breath hitching. “Are you hurting again?”

Lloyd pauses, looking down at where his legs hang over the edge of the table. He plays the look on her face that night over again in his head, the shaking of her hands. Lloyd shakes his head.

“No,” he says, pasting a smile across his lips. “I’m fine.”

Nya doesn’t look like she believes him, but that’s alright. Lloyd doesn’t really know if he does, himself.

******

The thing nobody seems to get is that he brought this entirely on himself. Like, yeah, it was terrible and painful and Lloyd’s got so much blood left on his uniform he may as well be Kai at this point, and he’s probably gonna have to make some drastic adjustments to his fighting style — definitely will, because his fighting style won’t even work anymore, the arm he’d hold his katana with is gone now, and FSM he’s gonna have to learn how to do everything again-

Inhale. Deep breath. Freaking out isn’t going to make it better.

Lloyd exhales shakily, and his heart rate returns to something a little more manageable.

So. Anyways. It’s Lloyd’s fault, and that means he doesn’t get to curl up in a corner so no one can see him trying not to cry over the fact that he can’t get his stupid armor strap to buckle with one hand.

Lloyd bites his lip furiously, fingers — he’s only got five of them now, looks like he’s finally gonna have to learn how to do math in his head — fumbling clumsily with the strap, leather slipping through his hold as the strap falls loose. He tightens his grip on it, bringing his knee up to — to try and pin it down, maybe he can — teeth, maybe? Whatever it takes to get this strap to stay still, because the hand he’d usually use to hold it is — is—

Lloyd sniffs miserably, then wipes furiously at his eyes. Don’t, he tells himself viciously. Don’t cry. He can’t cry, he doesn’t get to, not when he knows what the alternative is. Really, in contrast, losing his arm is — it’s—

Well, it’s not great. It’s definitely not something Lloyd’s ever had on his bucket list, that’s for sure, but it’s what he ended up with. It’s just like the Tomorrow’s Tea, like the responsibility of murdering his dad, like Uncle Wu suddenly dropping team leadership out of the sky and into his lap. Lloyd sure as heck didn’t want it, but it’s what he got, so he’s gotta deal with it. No use in overthinking the what-ifs or unfairs.

It would, of course, be a little easier to put up with if it’d stop hurting so much. Lloyd grits his teeth against the throbbing ache, too-sharp incisors digging into his lip. He forces his jaw to relax before he cuts his lip again, and gives a sharp exhale instead. It’s just in his head — the pain’s just in his head, he reminds himself. There’s no arm there to ache in the first place, even if he swears he can still feel the limb, still feel the ache in his elbow, his wrist, his fingers that aren’t freaking there anymore-

“Phantom limb,” Pixal tells him clinically, after having dragged him from his hidden corner of self-pity and general loathing of the universe on the whole. “It’s normal for amputees.”

“Oh.” Lloyd bites his lip again, staring at the empty space where his arm should be, trying to force back the blurring in his eyes. He appreciates that Pixal’s being straight up with him — that she’s not looking at him with that heartbroken sort of pity, trying to soften every word like she’s talking to a wild animal about to bolt, he really does. But it just-

Amputee. His arm’s really gone for good, huh. Weird seems like too underwhelming a word, but that’s all Lloyd’s brain is giving him right now. It doesn’t hurt, exactly, it’s more like a numb sort of blunt shock that keeps socking him in the head every time he thinks about it. But that’s alright, he tells himself. It’s just gonna take some adjustment. He’d known this. He’d known exactly what he was getting himself into he made his choice.

So he can get over it already. He’s fine. He doesn’t really have the time not to be, he thinks, as the crashing sounds of the Colossi echo from the TV set again.

He also really, really needs to get better at pasting that smile on his face. Because while Lloyd might be fine, the, uh….the accident hasn’t exactly been a great motivational point for their little resistance. Nya tries her very best not to cry but ends up sobbing into Lloyd’s empty sleeve anyways, because she tried to hold his hand when Pixal re-did the stitches and she realized it wasn’t there, then promptly broke into a steadily-devolving stream of “I should have protected you!” sort of shtick Lloyd is used to hearing from Kai.

His mom starts crying the minute she sees him and Lloyd’s pretty sure she hasn’t stopped since. Lloyd would try to comfort her more, but the last time he tried that, he panicked and resorted to making terrible puns about arms, which he’s pretty sure just made her start crying harder. Pixal swings back and forth between nagging at him to take better care of the wound and rattling off other accounts she’s read from people who’ve lost limbs with an almost desperate sort of intensity, stressing that the transition is going to be hard at first, but once they get the prosthetic made and he’s used it for a while, he’ll be able to do everything he could before, she promises-

The other elemental masters have been keeping a respectful distance, which Lloyd is really hoping is just because they want to give him space, and not because they think he’s completely lost his marbles.

Skylor and Ronin are the only two with reactions that don’t make Lloyd feel like a walking-worst-human-ever. Skylor’s got that tough sort of determinedness Lloyd recognizes a little too well, and she actually appreciates the arm puns — they’ve got a list they’re making to try out on Kai when he gets back, ‘cause FSM knows they’re gonna need some tension-breaking one-liners for that reunion. Ronin treats him about how he always has, which Lloyd appreciates more than words, but he also helps because he gets the visceral desperation that drives you to take insane lengths to come out on top sometimes.

None of that, of course, changes the fact that Lloyd now has to live with the reality that he effectively Luke Skywalker-ed himself, but he figures that was pretty much an inevitability with the way his life was going, anyways.

******

“Hey,” Nya speaks up, half-bent over the metal in her lap. “You, uh, you remember Star Wars?”

Lloyd gives her a blank look from where he sits cross-legged on the table. “Do I remember Star Wars,” he says, flatly. “No, I don’t remember Jay making Darth Vader noises at me for two months straight, or hearing ‘Lloyd I am your father’ eight thousand times a day-“

“Alright, geez, point taken,” Nya says. “When’d you become such a snarky little brat?”

“When my dad chucked me through a wall,” Lloyd mutters, darkly.

“Pretty sure you were one before that, but okay,” Nya says, breezing through Lloyd’s mood-killer statement like only Nya can. “Anyways, remember the end of Empire Strikes Back? Everything’s kinda terrible, because they lost Han and the Falcon keeps messing up, and Luke is-“

“Luke lost a hand,” Lloyd interrupts, narrowing his eyes at her. He’d figured out where she was going with this the minute she mentioned Star Wars, but still. “Do you see this?” He gestures at his right shoulder, which pretty much just ends in his right shoulder. “This is an entire arm. Luke had it way better, he got to keep like — he got to keep his elbow, and his, um, whatever you call the bones in your upper arm-“

“Are you trying to invalidate Luke Skywalker’s hand loss?” Nya says.

“No, I’m saying he at least had it a little better, because his dad neatly sliced his hand off, instead of releasing an ancient snake on him that eventually ended in Luke chopping the entirety of his own arm off like a crazy person.”

“You definitely had crazy in your eyes,” Nya mutters. She blows her breath out, then pins him with a look. “Look, I know we’ve — we’ve talked about this, but if you ever— if you ever try anything like that again-“

“Next time I’m planning on sending a katana through my arm, I’ll give you five minutes’ warning, promise.”

Nya whacks him solidly across the head. Lloyd yelps, throwing his arms up in defense —

Whoops, he thinks blankly, as he starts toppling off the table, any sense of balance lost completely. He doesn’t have an arm on that side, so if he moves like that, he’s gonna send himself-

Lloyd hits the floor with an oof, just barely bringing his good arm up in time to protect his face. His armless side, on the other hand, is not so lucky.

“Lloyd!” Nya’s yelp is punctuated by the sound of metal clattering to the ground, and she’s at his side before he can push himself back into a semi-dignified stance.

“M’okay,” he says, finally maneuvering himself into a sitting position, desperately trying not to jostle his right side more. “Just - ow - banged it up a little.”

He tries to stand up, only to lose his balance again, wavering briefly before he stumbles back to the floor. Lloyd hisses in frustrated pain, curling in on himself. Ow, ow, ow, why’d he have to land on that side-

“Here.” Nya’s hand is gentle on his back as she eases him up, the other kneading into the muscles of his shoulder just above what’s left of his mangled arm. Lloyd feels himself relax a bit, the pain ebbing slightly.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, arm still wrapped around himself.

Nya squeezes his shoulder, and Lloyd hears more than sees her take a seat next to him, her knee bumping his.

“It’s like Star Wars,” she repeats, sounding as lost as he feels, while trying to convince herself she’s not. “Everything’s terrible right now, but it’s — it’s gonna work out fine in the end.”

“Yeah,” Lloyd says, following her gaze where she stares up at the window high above them. “Just like Star Wars.”

…well, he hopes it’s not exactly like Star Wars. He really doesn’t wanna test out what’s left of his father’s moral integrity while getting electrocuted to death.

Garmadon would probably just let him die, anyways.

*******

It could be his father’s fault. He’s the one who brought the snake into it.

Lloyd doesn’t know where he got it — maybe Harumi decided to go the full nine yards and resurrect the Great Devourer while she was on a roll. It’d be a weird choice, because it kinda murdered her parents, but with what Lloyd’s seen of her, he wouldn’t put it past her ambition for destroying literally everything she can get her hands on.

In all honesty, though, it’s probably not even the Great Devourer. His mom’s betting on a lost descendent or overlooked relative, and Ronin’s got money on Garmadon having cooked up some twisted version of it just to get the jump on them. Skylor seemed a little green at both ideas, and Nya had simply said it didn’t matter which it was, nothing was gonna stop her from mounting its head as a decorative wall display.

Pixal’s the only one Lloyd really listened to, though, because she was the one to confirm that his actions hadn’t been in vain. She was the to look him dead in the eye, vivid green meeting his dull red, and tell him that there wasn’t a trace of venom that had spread beyond his arm.

Lloyd hadn’t heard Mystake’s echoing confirmation, but that’s probably because he’d been crying, which seems to be an inconvenient habit he’s picked up since he hacked his own arm off.

The very idea of it is definitely Lloyd’s fault, probably for watching so many zombie movies with Kai at two in the morning. The dumb part is that he’d actually been winning, he’d been this close to getting some mediocre sort of revenge on Harumi, when he’d felt the sharp, twin stabs of pain on his hand mid-strike, looked down to see a horrifyingly familiar serpent with its fangs locked around his the pale skin of his hand, and frozen.

The next thirty seconds went a little something like this:

Lloyd tries not to scream. He knows what this means, because there’s a giant stupid chunk of his life that’s revolved around this kind of snake. There is no small amount of terror associated with this knowledge.

So his mind rationalizes — the snake bite is like a zombie bite. He’s been infected. When you get infected in a zombie movie, you cut the infected limb off, so you don’t become a dead-brained flesh-devouring monster.

There are five seconds for debate. Lloyd doesn’t want to cut a limb off, but he doesn’t want to become a dead-brained flesh-devouring monster either.

What follows is a bit of a panicked blur. Lloyd looks down at his hand and sees the dark purple venom spreading through the veins. Lloyd looks at the sword in his other hand. Lloyd has a brief, vivid image of himself with his father’s face, laughing cruelly as he tries to crush everyone he loves to tiny bits. The next thing he knows, his sword is a whole lot bloodier, his right side feels several pounds lighter, Harumi looks like she’s about to throw up, and Lloyd is suddenly in a rather intense amount of pain.

Nya tells him that it was one of the worst moments of her life, but she does admit that for a brief, half a second’s time, the look of absolute terror on Harumi’s face at seeing Lloyd hack his own arm off with all the casualness in the world was the best thing she’s seen this year.

Someone could’ve at least taken a picture, he thinks dully. What’s the point of severing your own limb in front of your enemy if you aren’t even gonna get the satisfaction of seeing them scream like a baby about it?

******

Nya decides to stay up all night making the final adjustments to the prosthetic, so Lloyd stays up with her. He’s more hindrance then help, flinging suggestions at her every few minutes. Nya rolls her eyes at him way more than he deserves, though — because alright, he gets that a side dispenser for making hot chocolate and extra jet engines so he can fly are kinda out of the practical realm, but there’s nothing wrong with a canon for an arm, or hand tasers, or cool laser-shooters like in Fritz Donnegan—

“Except that it’d add way too much weight, and your arm would start bleeding all over the place again.”

“That’s…no it wouldn’t,” Lloyd says, lamely.

“Oh, are you the medical expert now?” Nya raises an eyebrow at him.

“No, but it’s not like you are,” Lloyd raises both eyebrows back, then frowns, expression screwing up as he tries to raise only the one like Nya.

Nya gives a snorting giggle. “Stop trying,” she says, shaking her head even as she smiles. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“How do you even do that, anyways,” Lloyd mutters, abandoning his attempts.

“It’s a genetic and unattainable gift,” Nya says, and Lloyd snorts this time.

“Sure. Is being totally lame genetic too?”

“Apparently being a persistent brat is for you,” Nya sets the wrench down emphatically. “I’m trying to make you something functional, not a full-blown weapon.”

“But I’m a full-blown weapon,” Lloyd argues. Nya doesn’t reply, and Lloyd is suddenly aware of how heavy his words echo in the room, the subtext that kind of sentence has.

Oops. He can’t make one joke without it going sour lately, can he.

“You’re a lot more than that,” Nya says quietly, a slightly-heartbroken look written across her expression. Lloyd bites his lip. Great, now he’s made her sad again.

He looks down, eyes catching on the empty sleeve of the sweatshirt he’s wearing. Lloyd glances surreptitiously up at Nya, then twists his body slightly, tilting it forward. The empty sleeve smacks Nya on the arm once, twice, before she turns a disbelieving look on him.

“Really?”

Lloyd gives her an unapologetic grin. “I need a super cool laser arm in there, Nya.”

She gives a long-suffering sigh, but Lloyd is pleased to spot the amusement on her face, the way her forehead eases out of its furrowed tension. “You’re getting a nice, sturdy, functional arm. That’s all.”

“Oh, come on,” Lloyd pleads. “What if I run into Harumi again? Wouldn’t it be great if like, she tried to grab me, and I zapped her with my high-power arm taser?”

There’s a beat of silence as Nya considers this excellent point. “Arguments…can be made for a taser,” she admits.

Lloyd gives a quiet whoop of victory. He then turns an extra-bright, fully sincere, wide-eyed smile on her. Nya steadily refuses to look at him, but her fingers slow a bit on the wires, and she gives another, weary sigh.

“….I’ll consider the laser hand.”

********

The arm is functional, sleek and shiny and sturdy metal made for battle. Nya, dark circles beneath her eyes as Lloyd tries to shoo her off to bed, hazily promises that she’s gonna make him one that’s more comfortable too, one that’s not for fighting, maybe they can paint a bunch of cool green designs on it, and stuff—

Ronin gets ahold of her by that point, and Pixal takes over the final adjustments while he tosses her on a couch next to Skylor, telling her to make sure she stays. All that’s left after that is for Pixal to attach it, which, for all that Lloyd had been preparing himself for a prosthetic, is something he hadn’t actually thought through.

“In order for it to function, we’ll need to attach it to the nerve endings left in your arm,” Pixal explains, and there’s an apologetic look in her eyes Lloyd really doesn’t like. “I’ll be as gentle as possible, but it will…hurt quite a bit, I’m afraid.”

Understatement of the year. Lloyd makes it through the surgery without passing out, but it’s a close thing.

Once it’s attached, though, he’s pleased to find that it moves how he wants it, the sight of his right fist curling, even if metal, somewhat bizarre. He’s got two arms again. He’s not completely useless anymore, he can fight, he can—

Hurt, apparently. Lloyd can hurt, every movement and every hour, building up into a savage sort of agony where the arm meets the scarred flesh of his shoulder. It’s to be expected, Pixal explains, since everything’s still fresh and tender in there, but Lloyd is sick and tired of being in pain, sick and tired of sleepless nights trying not to scream into his pillow, and no amount of reassurances that it’ll get better soon help with that.

Because the ache doesn’t lessen. With every minute the prosthetic’s on it just gets worse, fiery bolts of pain flaring at the ends of the nerves. It hurts, and Lloyd knew it would, but FSM this is — it’s —

He swallows, flexing the fingers of his good hand — his only real hand — and watches the smooth, unhindered way they move. He looks at the cold metal of the prosthetic, biting back a hiss of pain as he forces the metal fingers to move clumsily. He can barely make the stupid elbow bend without wanting to tear the entire arm off.

…this is a lot harder than he thought it’d be.

Lloyd shifts in his perch high up in the warehouse rafters, listening to the others talking below. He should join them, really, he’s supposed to be the leader here, but…he needs a minute. A minute to adjust, that’s all.

Lloyd leans his head back against the wall, exhaling heavily. He misses when the worst he’d have to worry about was the ache in his ankle when it rained.

And it’s stupid, but Lloyd also finds himself missing like — he misses his fingernails, misses the little tapping sound they’d make, he misses that patch of freckles he had on his forearm and the one weird scar he’d picked up on his index finger, he misses the warmth when he knits his hands together, he misses being able to feel warmth beneath his fingers, and he misses—

Lloyd stares at the metal hand, and feels the icy grip of fear enclosing around his heart again. He hasn’t tried to use his powers yet. Hasn’t even mustered up a spark, not that he could. He doesn’t even have any powers to use, and he might not get them back, so it’s useless to speculate right now.

But what if — if he does, then…can the arm channel it? Will it be able to handle the green power, or will it blow straight up where its attached to him? How’s this gonna affect that?

Lloyd swallows, lowering the clenched metal fist into his lap. Whatever, he thinks dully. It’s not like his power is something he’s gonna need to worry about anytime soon.

********

“Is he dead?”

“Ronin, please-“

“I think he’s dead.”

“Left side, Lloyd,” Nya sighs, hovering over him. “You gotta lead with your left now. Remember?”

Lloyd groans in reply, throwing an arm over his face where he’s sprawled across the training mat. “Ngh.”

Nya hesitates, shifting from her right to left foot. “I didn’t hit you that hard, did I?”

“No, I’m just a dumbas-“

“Lloyd.”

“Dumb, dumb, I’m super dumb, that’s what I was saying.”

“No, you’re not,” Nya says, grabbing his arm — the good one — and hauling him to his feet. “You just keep forgetting to lead with your left side.”

“Yeah, you said that,” Lloyd mutters, rubbing his side. He rolls his shoulder, wincing at the aching pain in the prosthetic that he’s slowly becoming familiar with. The ache’s finally lessened, though — it isn’t in constant agony as often, and he’s starting to sleep more than two hours at a time.

“Then do it.”

Lloyd gives her a plaintively pouting look, and Nya rolls her eyes. “Puppy eyes aren’t gonna cut in in battle.”

Lloyd huffs. “I’ve led with my right side my whole life,” he defends. “Besides, isn’t the point of this—“ he waves the metal arm aloft, trying not to wince at the unfamiliar added weight. “—so that I can hit with my right side?”

“Yes, eventually,” Nya says, eyeing Lloyd’s movements, and he shifts the arm self-consciously. “But you’re barely able to move it above your shoulders now, much less throw a hit with it.”

Lloyd scowls. “I can throw a hit with it.”

Nya raises an eyebrow, and ooh, Lloyd knows that look. “Then prove it,” she says.

“Uh oh,” Skylor mutters beneath her breath. Pixal looks between the two of them in alarm. Ronin makes an odd noise that sounds a bit like a laugh.

Lloyd meets Nya’s gaze head-on with his own stubborn glare. “I will.”

“Uh oh,” Skylor repeats. Pixal steps between them, looking even more concerned. “I don’t believe this is a good idea, Lloyd’s arm is still-“

“Alright then,” Nya says, ignoring the others. She steps past the training mat, walking over to the punching bag they’ve strung up. She taps the solid fabric, her nails making an muffled clacking noise. “Show me you can hit someone with it. Show me you can hit them hard.”

Lloyd squares his jaw, stepping over to her. “Fine-“

“And,” Nya continues, louder. “Show me you can hit them without immediately doubling over in pain.”

Lloyd’s breath rushes out in a quiet exhale, and he avoids her eyes. Right, okay. He hasn’t been hiding it as good as he’d thought. Great.

“Fine,” he repeats, more muted this time. He rolls his shoulders, glaring at the bag. He can’t back down now. This isn’t just about him using his right side, this is about Nya ever letting him outside again, about her ever letting him within fifty feet of a battle again. If Lloyd can’t prove that he’s not a walking liability, then Nya’s probably gonna bench him forever. Or at least until the guys are back.

And the thing is, Lloyd would get it. She has reason.

So he’s gotta prove to her, right here, right now, that he can fight. Lloyd’s not worried about possible damage — Nya built the arm, and he already trusts her with his life and more. He is…slightly concerned that he’s about to put himself in a lot of unnecessary pain, but he’ll just have to suck it up. He can cry into his pillow later.

Nya gives a barely audible, weary sigh. “You don’t have to,” she says, quietly.

Lloyd doesn’t reply, squaring back and setting up instead. His jaw clenches as he pulls his arm back, metal fingers curling into a tight fist. Show me you can hit someone, right? Lloyd’s gonna show her he can wreck someone. He doesn’t care about the recoil, he’s gonna give this all he’s got. He’s gonna pour every ounce of frustration and anger and fear into this punch, every last hour spent in pain and every sleepless night because of that pain, every single time he’s felt so stupidly useless because his arm is gone—

Lloyd’s fist slams against the bag, the force rippling back through his arm as he yells, already half-bracing for the rest of the recoil.

It doesn’t come. The weight of the bag gives under Lloyd’s hit with a loud metallic snapping sound, and before he can even finish following through with the strike there’s an thundering crunch of wood, and—

“Holy shit.”

The fact that nobody calls Ronin out on his language is probably a bad sign, Lloyd thinks. He looks up, shaking the mild pain in his shoulder out as he does, and follows everyone else’s gazes. His mouth falls open.

“It wasn’t supposed to do that!” he yelps, staring in horror at where there’s a hole in the wall. He blinks rapidly, realizing that the punching bag’s gone — did he hit it hard enough to do that? Lloyd suddenly wants to curse a lot worse than Ronin. He doesn’t have his powers right now, and even then, he’s not Cole, how in the world did he hit it that hard?

“I believe you made the arm strong enough,” Pixal finally says.

“No duh,” Skylor says, gaping at the shattered chain the bag hung from.

“You sent it through the wall,” Nya says faintly, staring at the hole. “That was one punch. And I was gonna have you start throwing hits at me.”

“Why did you make it this strong?!” Lloyd clutches his metal arm, staring at it in slight terror. “I could kill somebody with this!”

“Yes,” Nya nods. Lloyd gapes at her. Why does she sound satisfied with that? Nya looks at the splintered wall, then back to Lloyd, he eyes raking over his arm.

“Okay,” she says, shaking her head and grinning. “You win. Lead with your right side this time.”

Lloyd glances at the metal arm, then back up at Nya, wide-eyed. “I’ll, uh, I’ll save that for Harumi, I think,” he says, weakly. “Let’s go left side.”

Nya snorts, but her expression is lighter than it’s been in days. “Alright then, green machine,” she says, bringing her arms up in a fighting stance. “Show me what you got.”

Lloyd brings his own arms up, and feels a thrill of excitement as he doesn’t immediately stumble off-balance from the weight difference. “Oh I’ll show you,” he grins. “I’ll take you down.”

Lloyd is, in fact, the one that gets taken down, but for the twenty full minutes he’s able to hold his own against Nya, the added strength of the arm giving him an advantage that almost outweighs the disadvantage the pain adds, Lloyd feels like he might just have a chance.

********

“Hey, hey Nya.”

A sigh. “Yes, Lloyd?”

“I’m going on live TV for this speech thing.”

“I’m aware.”

“Everyone’s going to see me with it.”

“…yeah. You okay with that?”

“Oh, yeah. I was just gonna say that it’s extremely important to me.”

“What is?”

“That I show up on the TV with a totally kick-ass dragon arm.”

Another, longer sigh.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

*********

Lloyd is starting to suspect that he may be repressing things. Maybe, just a bit.

Not that he hasn’t repressed stuff before — he’s currently repressing the ten tons worth of high-pitched screaming into the void that came along with Harumi bringing his dad back as a hollow shell, and he’s been doing fine with that one. Lloyd’s a pro at repressing stuff. If he wasn’t the Green Ninja, he’d have been like, the elemental master of repressing your emotions until you don’t even know why you’re crying in the shower this time.

But the fact that he’s lost an entire arm and has yet to fully experience any kind of overwhelming reaction about it is…probably concerning. Like yeah, he’s been frustrated, he’s been scared, he’s been in pain more often than he’s not and that sucks, but he doesn’t seem to have really had the appropriate reaction to fully losing a limb and all that it entails yet. Or at least that’s what he thinks Nya is trying to tell him.

(And yeah, he gets that she’s concerned, everyone’s concerned about him, when is anybody not concerned about Lloyd and his idiotic life decisions, but—)

Naturally, it’s going to be during this conversation that he hits his breaking point.

“Look, I know it’s second nature and that zero of the guys have been any kind of good example, but you’ve got to drop the blame-yourself, brood-in-silent-guilt thing.”

Lloyd hand tightens where he’s gripping the edge of the table, and he feels a sudden urge to yank his arm from Nya’s hold and run.

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” he tries.

She cuts him a look. “Really? You’re gonna lie to me too?”

Lloyd whips his head away, staring resolutely at the wall furthest from him. “It was my fault,” he finally says, his voice thin in the quiet of the little room they’re hiding out in. “So that’s that."

Nya exhales tiredly, the sound of someone who’s heard something one too many times. Lloyd feels a kind of hot frustration spark in his gut at the sound.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was,” Lloyd grinds out, angrier than he means to be. “It’s my fault — I’m the one who cut it off, Nya—”

“You didn’t have a choice,” she snaps back. There’s an angry sort of sheen building in her eyes, and Lloyd hates himself. “It was that or the venom, he didn’t leave you any other opti-“

Something snaps in Lloyd’s chest, and he feels control slip through his hands like a fine stream of water.

“It’s my. Fault!” he bursts out at her, and Nya looks taken aback. Lloyd can’t stop himself — he doesn’t know why he’s so upset about this, he doesn’t know why this is so important, but there’s something wild clawing at his chest screaming that it has to be his fault, it has to be—

“It was my choice!” he continues shrilly, breathing harder than he does in training. “I was the one who decided to cut it off, I was the one who chose not to be like him, it was my choice, not Garmadon’s, mine, stop trying to take that away from me—!”

Lloyd’s rant cuts off in a sob, and he stumbles from the table, yanking the arm to him and trying to force back the raging emotion that’s broken loose. Nya stares at him with wide eyes, frozen in shock. Realization breaks across her face like a tidal wave, and her eyes soften, her expression shifting into something that makes Lloyd want to cry harder. He quickly turns away, frantically scrubbing at his eyes as he tries to get himself under control. This is terrible, this is humiliating, Lloyd is a disgrace to the Green Ninja and everything that everyone’s done to make sure he’s gotten this far, but—

Lloyd chokes on another sob. It’s just like the tea, it’s just like the stupid tea. Everyone tried to tell him that he didn’t have a choice then too, insisting that potential death doesn’t really give you much of a choice, and Lloyd couldn’t get them to see — he couldn’t get them to see that it was his choice. Just like Lloyd made the choice to cut his arm off instead of falling to the same cursed blood his father did. Those were his choices, those were Lloyd’s decisions, he made them himself, and that’s important because - because -

Because if Lloyd didn’t have the choice to grow older, if he didn’t have the choice to become the Green Ninja, if he really hasn’t had a choice in anything like that — then what kind of life does that leave him with?

“Okay.”

Lloyd’s head snaps up, and he looks at Nya through watery eyes.

“Okay,” she repeats, gently. “It was your choice. I agree.”

Something a little too dizzying to be relief swoops through him, and Lloyd slumps back against the table, his side hitting it a bit too hard as he breathes out shakily, wiping at his eyes.

“Okay,” he echoes, his voice thick.

“But—“ Nya takes a step closer to him, but she doesn’t touch him. She looks hesitant, but her jaw is set in that stubborn sort of determination Nya always has. “That doesn’t mean it’s all your fault. You…you have your choice. Let Garmadon own up to his, too.”

Lloyd can’t meet her eyes for that one, but he doubts it’d make a difference anyways, because they keep blurring over so much. Which is ridiculous, because how does Lloyd even have enough hydration left to keep crying all over the place like this—

Nya blows her breath out, and leans up against the table next to him, her shoulder just brushing his left one. Lloyd shifts his hold on the metal arm, and lets the tension in his shoulders ease, leaning into her.

“And for what it’s worth?”

Lloyd looks at Nya, and she gives him a crooked smile.

“I don’t love it, obviously, and if you ever try that again, I’ll — well, you know, but…I think you might’ve made the right choice.”

Lloyd’s humiliated himself enough today, but he can’t stop his eyes from flooding over again.

“Thank you,” he croaks, and Nya grabs his shoulder, pulling him to her so their heads bump briefly together.

“You’re Lloyd,” she tells him. “Not Garmadon. You’re my brother, and you’re good.”

She shakes her head, giving a wet laugh.

“You’re too stubborn to be anything other than that, clearly.”

#lego ninjago #ninjago #lloyd garmadon #nya smith #my fic #do u know the strength i had to have not to make ten billion arm puns #i did my time in the fma fandom i was prepared #anyways lloyd im so sorry #at least u aren't corrupted #don't ask where the snake came from it's #plot convenience

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olivenight17 · 5 years

Note

Hello, I would like to request a matchup, please! I'm a 5'2" female -(bi but would like to be matched with a male)- majoring in Anthropology and Physics. Despite my studies, I'm very laid back and free-flowing. I care for others, doing my best to not be a pushover and sticking up for others too. I'm analytical when it comes to problem-solving. I also love being adventurous and joking. I have a habit of being mothery too, as I buy food for others, take them out and give advice.(1/2)

(2/2)I become anxious often but still manage to be level minded and get called a good leader in fieldwork. I love music, studying different sciences, reading out loud, hiking out and letting my real self burst out without much criticism. I have a soft flirty aesthetic way of dressing that shows off my curves (despite insecurities I need to work on). Overall, I'm very well rounded in my interests so that it's easier to connect with others. Thank you for the match and good luck with the blog!!💌🤗I completely forgot to mention but is it okay that the match is made for Durarara, FMA and Mystic Messenger. I'm so sorry 😅

You’re all good, girl! Okay, so I’ve already got the matchups in my head, and thank you for wishing me luck on my blog!

For Durarara I match you with our Van Gang Leader, Kyohei!

(Kyohei without his beanie is 10000/10 I swear-)

- You both just get along so well personality wise

- He appreciates that you’re laid back and chill, he doesn’t really like people who are super high maintenance

- Also seriously loves your bravery in sticking up for others, like he’s got mad respect for that. And if he finds your struggling with sticking up for someone, have no fear he’s right behind you and helping you scold the person who was being rude.

- Honestly you don’t have much to worry about dating this guy, he’s never going to let you get stuck in a bad place. And if you end up there anyways, he’s by your side and helping you out of it

- Body insecurities? Just tell him, he’ll be sure to compliment you in everything you wear and will do his utmost to make you feel as comfortable with your body as possible! And if you ever get anxious, he’ll stick with you, tell you to breathe and really do whatever he can to make sure you calm down and feel better.

- Also yeah, you two just became the mom couple of the van gang because they act like actual children and they forget to take care of themselves, they need you both and it may be stressful but at the end of the day it’s worth it.

- Not to mention, he and the gang are quite adventurous, they do a lot of wild stuff so if you can keep up with that? All the more power to ya, I guarantee you’ll have a lot of good memories.

- Honestly, y’all are just a chill couple who have a lot of laughs. It’s like best friends turned lovers and that’s like hands down the strongest kind of love.

As for FMA, you get our lovely, lovely babe: Al Elric!

- Now congratulations, you have been matched with hands down one of the sweetest babies on this show!

- He’s only ever really known alchemy, but is really interested in your sciences as well.

- You two just kind of go back and forth learning about each other’s findings and discovering new things and when you’ve learned all you can from studying each other’s sciences, you both move on together to tackle other sciences.

- Helps you create flash cards for your studies and quizzes you whenever you have tests coming up to get you prepared.

- Is comforted by your analytical mind and calm personality. Having to be around his very loud and sometimes reckless brother can be... tiring, to say the least lol, having your calm and intelligent mind around is a breath of fresh air to this boi.

- Admires your leadership skills, he’s a far more passive person and watching you get up and just take charge is so inspiring to him

- Get ready, this boi is going to cuddle you literally any chance he gets. After so long without a human body, and getting one he’s going to constantly want to touch and hug you and be comforted by the fact that he’s here with you and he can feel the warmth and love coming from the embrace.

- He understands body insecurities too, since for the longest time he didn’t have one lol, and just gives you the most wholesome compliments in the world. “You look very beautiful today.” “The way the light is shining on you makes you look breath taking.” 10/10 what a sweet boi.

- Admittedly, gets a little lost on what to do when you become anxious and he just takes the most logical approach, which is to go through every exercise he knows calms down the human body until your anxiety fades. If it’s something like presenting that you’re getting nervous about, expect a ton of encouragement from him!

- All in all, you both make a very nice, intelligent duo who can and will travel the world and go adventuring to advance your knowledge of the world around you!

Now for Mystic Messenger, our calm and stoic Jumin

- Oh boy, you’ve got your work cut out for you lol

- Don’t get me wrong, he’s a sweet guy! He is very attentive to whatever you need and he will get you just about everything you could ever want.

- He needs your laid back attitude considering he himself is very uptight. Showing that you’re relaxed will let him know that he can relax too and that’s when his real personality shines through.

- Likes how adventurous you are, and will often blow off work to take you on trips with him.

- Loves the aesthetic of your clothes, somehow you always end up with a new outfit that is just the right taste and looks amazing on you and you have no idea how he does it.

- When he wants to relax he’s usually petting Elizabeth the third and having you read aloud to him. Whatever you want to read, it doesn’t matter to him, your voice sounds so nice that he almost falls asleep every time. And almost every time his head falls on your lap as he starts dozing off.

- Also, it’s good you’re not a pushover or trying not to be, like really good

- This guy can get very controlling very fast and it’s not like he means to, honestly he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. But if you don’t say “Hey, I’d like you to not do that” and you don’t set your boundaries things are gonna get dicey.

- And I mean like sure, we all think we want Jumin’s bad ending 2, but as someone who’s been in a possessive relationship, I can tell you it’s not nice. So, yes, be a leader! Don’t be a pushover with him!

- As long as you do that and don’t let his possessive behavior get out of control, y’all are gonna have a nice and very comfortable life together.

I hope you enjoyed~!

#mystic messenger #jumin han #jumin han mm #Durarara #Kyohei Kadota #Durarara Kyohei #Alphonse elric #fma #Al Fma #matchup #matchup request #matchup Jumin Han #matchup kyohei #matchup Alphonse

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incarnateirony · 5 years

Text

Writers lie. Death doesn’t. My brain hurts.

What fascinates me is how honest Death has been (or at least seemed) throughout the series. In comparison to Chuck. I started writing a drabble about that and it turned into a whole other brain adventure on ideas of “why the TWEEST”, where it might lead, and so on.

I’m about to tuck this giant ass rant which weaves in and out of gnostic and hermetic thought alongside how it may apply to our canon since it’s very “stream of thought” on my part involving everybody being so damn shocked at WHAT A TWIST with Chuck while I was like “Y... yeah? Wait- wait that- oh I forgot most people don’t think like I do.”

There is also a long list of related posts I’ve been drumming on about all season:

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE MISSING PIECES AFTER READING THIS, DOUBLE BACK. Cuz at this point I’m just at stream of thought on where Dabb and co may be taking this.

So, addressing Chuck, the creator, the world builder, the liar.

A preface: Hermeticism believes in gnosis as fundamental understanding, but not all Gnosticism is Hermeticism, as over time, Gnosticism grew into a TOTALLY separate branch that was popularly considered nihilistic, whereas Hermetic stuff was generally more optimistic. I’ll address them separately, even if they’re incredibly related and roll back to that closer to the end.

Nous. Chuck is Nous (or Nous II, which I’ll get to WAYYYY below). At times Nous is divided into three forms -- Thought, Reason, and Anthropos. Anthropos is the human soul, destined to return to god. Much like the (terribly delivered) ideology of S6-7, the idea is that God is made of innumerable souls, and those that conduct themselves properly may become powers of god.

At the same time, cosmogeny is a hot fucking mess. Any person who dabbles in cosmogony that’s worth their salt will still tell you that, well, they weren’t there at the start of the world, but Empedocles was the sharp kind of whip that got to the important truths that I think will be the real human moralistic line of our final season for our actual heroes, Team Free Will: “Love and strife are the two principle forces driving all things. Things come together, things fall apart. The rest is commentary.” That’s a bit of an aside, just here while we’re literally poking at the Supernatural cosmogony in canon.

Billie and God, they’re at strife here -- in the end, I’ll reap god, too.

On the other hand, Team Free Will tend to make their choices based on love.

A few points to get out of my way before I circle to my original point: modern Gnostics revere Lucifer as Prometheus. I feel I’ve missed that important word in my brush overs. Modern. Thing is, that’s a modern invention completely absent in sources like the Pleroma. But the Apocryphon of John did lend toward it. The whole cascade of symbology ends up with them saying Jesus and Lucifer are one in the same, but again, modern invention, but definitely a step The Powers That Be have not even hinted or breathed in the direction of and I don’t see them taking that step. That said, Lucifer called out propaganda. And regardless of if Lucifer is a modern or ancient christ figure, the gnostic contempt for Jehovah wasn’t particularly a secret.

Because regardless of if the snake in the gnostic garden was Lucifer or Satan (it IS in Supernatural), it was a savior figure breaking through Chuck’s false reality. A constructed reality. A veil of lies built around a creation he wanted run HIS way.

Chuck’s false reality has been REPEATEDLY addressed as propaganda by Lucifer, who we didn’t want to believe. Chuck misguided them as a lowkey writer right off the bat. Chuck disregarded their prayers for years. Chuck only came back when his ass was on the line from his own equal and opposite pole but gave a really nifty drama story on why, which Lucifer AND EVERYBODY ELSE was pretty much given to swallow or just deal with it anyway.

But summarily, in gnostic tradition, Jehova is the actual satan and the snake was just misunderstood for trying to break the matrix everybody was in, which hits some later biblical curiosities when various affiliated names like the morning star, and phosphorus, both Luciferian, are also given as properties of the holy spirit. EG in Revelations, Jesus calls himself the morning star too. Let’s do a head flip here. But wait didn’t some preacher say the morning star was Lucifer and Lucifer was satan and - hold up, what.

Again, I’m not speculating TPTB are gonna say Lucifer is jeebus. If anything, his child here, Jack, is the christ figure we’re about to face, turning over the laws of the old cruel god in the time of apocalypse. But this idea that it’s just all so sudden that Chuck is turning around when he’s habitually made lies and excuses is kinda crazy to me? Like, he poofed out at the end of S5, so TPTB have known since then? Chuck has literally been lying through the whole series and this is just forgotten because Rob is a super sweet bean everybody loves? Chuck has forged an entire matrix of misery, or infinite multiples, and then decides to try a different story? Sam and Dean are his guys? They keep it interesting, until they try to take HIM down?

But with all the gnostic and hermetic symbolism, this is on point? But Chuck has been lying the whole time? Whereas Death, arguably... has not? I literally didn’t trust them to ever try to take this road on main stream TV?? Like???? This is really balls out???????????? In a christian coded culture?????????????????????

Which rides back to my original point in starting these rambles, discussing Billie: Billie may be neutral, cold and uncaring on a human empathetic level, but Death has arguably never lied. Left out parts of the truth, but never lied. There’s question on if she lied to Dean with The Last Book, but where do her books even come from? Are they Chuck’s shed drafts? And furthermore, this season had a distinct theme of adding words or readings that weren’t in the actual text (the gorgon note, the pearl journal) on interpretation. We still have grossly vague abstract idea of what was actually in that book, versus how Dean interpreted what was in that book and in the end, she still said what he did with the knowledge in that book was up to him. Just that it wouldn’t end in Michael using him to burn down the world. This is inarguably true.

Which lends to the idea of Death as a true natural force purposed for balance.

Whereas it took until season 14 for JehovaChuck to confess, just as biblically,

“I form the light and create darkness, I make peace, and create evil…” (Isaiah 45:7)

The word translated “evil” is from a Hebrew word that means “adversity, affliction, calamity, distress, misery.” Other major English Bible translations render the word: “disaster” (NIV, HCSB), “calamity” (NKJV, NAS, ESV), and “woe” (NRSV). The Hebrew word can refer to moral evil, and often does have this meaning in the Hebrew Scriptures.

In retrograde some of this is impossible for them to exist since, we know, original draft REAL LIFE SIDE, angels were never intended and all of that hoohah. So the complexities of “The snake in the garden wasn’t really a bad dude, just a misunderstood rebel, and God essentially = Lucifer” which, in the long term, rolls into the gnostic pessimistic view. What we call god was basically satan all along with a false matrix of control. Gnostic world view is that god is a lying dick and the snake wasn’t all so bad and we should listen and break out. The end.

Hermetics address this in god being good, but still having a wholeassed other set on polarities and what actually defines good, and reaches above a metaphorical jehova-head for an actual god. The All. In The Nothing. Also really super duper familiar right now.

Which cycles back to season 5, “In the end, I’ll reap god, too.” Spoke Death. He clarified the chicken and the egg ambiguities, which again, *rolls another circle around*

Back to gnostic first:

We have a forefather or pro-arche, a pre-beginning, a fore-father, considered as the idea of Depth -- with whom existed Thought who’s also called Grace and Silence. The Empty Space & Grace, then Mind & Truth. But Nous, the Mind, born of Depth & Grace, sent forth Word & Life and brought forth Anthropos & Ecclesia - Man & Church, which were the primal eight.

Now, gnosticism is a really broad wash, some sects have REALLY wild ass takes on what causes death, but the simple idea of Death is quite literally beyond... like-- if god created The Word (huehuehue) and Life, it’s not that Death is even its own force, so much as a negative space contrary to the work of Nous.

Chaining in my stream of thought here for a second, tapping back to “God was never on your side” as both the lead-in and lead-out of the season tells me that for all the gnostic/hermetic stuff flying around, this season did lean into gnostic Nihilism (huehuehue). The question is if the hermetic Optimism (huehuehue) is going anywhere, because that’s where my recent gong banging about the Shadow (huehuehue), The All, and all of that is on about and it’s just hanging out there, like an invitation for them to face their mirrors and take on the godhead themselves, beyond Chuck, and own that role -- or, yes, could just be reduced to an uber villain.

Fascinatingly, The All as it was used in FMA - which you may remember me dropping a gif of here or there to compare to the Empty Smile - was also Truth. *points back up to the above*

Anyway, to the hermetic reading, it’s a matter of how, if at all, they subvert their own dark-god roll here. The Gnostic God is a dick. The Hermetic god can still be a dick, but his motivations in creating the universe are notably less intentionally malignant. The god of 14.20 is the gnostic god. The question is if he has a hermetic optimistic lining.

The accounts vary slightly, but summarily man was much like the angels at first, a being of androgynous soul unchained to the physical realm, who helped DESIGN to the original world, as *points back above again* god himself is actually a collective vat of souls, or the substance that makes souls. “Let us make man in our own image,” as it were. Nature looked up at man and fell in love with it. Man looked down at nature and fell in love with it. But man fell in love with creation and wanted to dwell in it, and then variably yeeted themselves into the physical world or, by some accounts, were chained into it. Which made them subject to sleep, sex... and yes, gave life, but also the possibility for death. It leads to a state of reincarnation until they’re worth reuniting with the godhead.

Basically, it’s the tale of the angels fall itself, which I think is more where we’re going to see the hermetic aspect rearing its head in this telling. But I could be wrong. Shrug emoji. Man looks up at angel falls in love with it, angel looks down at man and falls in love with it, angel yeets self into human world. Sounds super familiar or something somehow. Shrug emoji again.

Because there’s also the hermetic issue of Nous and... Second Nous. Nous II which is actually closer to The Word made the planets and all the cool stuff, but Nous I actually made man, which makes a hella complicated part in our SPN lore I don’t expect to see addressed. But the creation myth introduces astrology, planets, and man, law - destiny -- from which man is expected and given to rise above. Man with power over creation. “You create your own reality” is literally the idea here. The idea that man has a dual nature -- the immaterial soul, and a physical body after the fall, sending a piece of the heavens into man.

But that man is also the equal, or at least potential equal of god, which kinda disturbs the hell out of fundamentalist christians. “As above, so below,” the Ouroboros is more than a cycle, but also the respective interconnectivity and equality of all things. Some hermetic schools even believe “God only knows what you know,” making the earthly experience or, in SPN, the story a learning experience for the creator as well as the individual, though this is sorta not-cool to fundamentalists so, *tosses papers in air*

Either way about it, Hermeticism addresses the uh, multiple levels of God and the Nous, just like Nous was not necessarily First Tier Creative Force as much as chicken or the egg or second timeless force against other concepts of NothingSpace.

Summarily, Gnosticism addresses the world as a dark, shitty place full of demons to overcome, a constant struggle to attain higher levels, and an escape at the end in death. The hermetic view is not dark, it’s about beauty and divine harmony, and instead of escaping the world he expands himself to command the world. Which, respectively, gives us two VERY different endings of a new godhead or absolute humanity as the goal in standing against Chuck and what he’s driving them to do.

As for the motivations, even hermeticists can’t agree on that. Does the All have something to gain by acting? Is it compelled to? Or is it like the Kybalion yells, “THE ALL ACTS BECAUSE IT ACTS.” or like Michael, “because I CAN.”

But The All as the true Nous would also be above Chuck. Chuck would be the masculine Jehova. We have the feminine Shekinah in Amara. Chuck is Nous II, whether or not SPN lore addresses if Nous I (The Shadow?) created man or not or just snowballs it into one thing.

And Death, beyond God, a void presence, a silence in the midst of Depth, beyond the Word and the Life but able to read it and keep balance, has its own bones to pick -- without lies, without words, simply with action. But Death is not the end, really, especially not in hermetic rebirth. It’s merely a point of change. But we know even god can die. And in the end, Death will even reap god. And we are in the end. Even God has said it. So, buckle in folks as we deep dive into some crazy level theology.

SPN Cosmogony is making my head hurt is what it is but I see our potentials and they’re all very interesting.

Again, cycling back to related/accessory posts:

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

#supernatural #meta #sorta #my meta #mine #pagan life #theology #billie #death #god #chuck #14.20 #finale #moriah #season 15 #cosmogenesis #demiurge #souls

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