#jill thoughts yet once again

[a-thousand-lives-lost-for-peace]

hi hello it's me again with more Jill thoughts.

Jill I think was definitely into photography, based on the camera she owned and the books in her apartment - such as the Wartime Photojournalism set she has in her bookcase. I think she probably took most of the photos she used in her investigation herself. Along with this I definitely think she was also quite interested in history, given the Egyptian statue she had on her bookcase and the numerous books she had on Caesar.

Similarly with the books she had - it seemed she was quite into mysterys and thrillers/action books, though she did have some nonfiction.

Considering the amount of CDs next to the stereo too it definitely looked like she was a fan of music.

#resident evil #jill valentine #jill thoughts yet once again #jill valentine headcanons

[mo0nfairy]

ᥫ᭡ . # ۫ , ⸺ UNCHAINED MELODY, PART FIVE !

summary :: surviving raccoon city together, you catch the affections of leon kennedy, ada wong, jill valentine, and carlos oliveira. six years later, you reunite with them and realize their obsession with you has increased tenfold.

chapters :: the masterlist.

word count :: 8.7k.

content warnings :: mdni! yandere!leon, yandere!ada, blood/gore, violence, death, weapons, drugging, kidnapping, stalking, noncon touching, invasion of privacy, mentions of sexual assault, parasites/infections, & needles.

ada wong's yandere traits are . . .

lucid, romantic, & confident

──── Ada Wong hates the sensation of grass on her skin. Yet still, the green matter stains all her clothes.

She'll spend her days laying in fields of grass. It tickles her skin and provokes her allergies, but she cannot fathom living without it. If she closes her eyes, she can almost stimulate the feeling of being with you once again. September 28th, 1998. On that road verge with dirt caked on her skin and a dandelion in her messy hair — Ada is convinced she is the only human who has ever been touched by such intense, perfidious happiness.

A beige trench coat littered with these same stains is preserved in her walk-in closet. It has not been worn in years, not since that night in Raccoon City. There are the occasional splatters of blood and gunpowder residue, but they are insignificant in comparison to the vivid green smudges. During rough patches, Ada will take the coat from its plastic covering and hold it close to her chest. If she closes her eyes again, she can almost convince herself it is you in her arms instead of this filthy, out-of-season garment.

As difficult as it is, however, she cannot let these feelings reach her heart. She cannot let herself feel for you.

She made this declaration long ago. Six years ago, to be exact.

Y/N L/N. The name she will never forget.

Ada remembers your evocative touch, your bunny-like shivering, your skin like flowers; she will never forget how you ended her life in Raccoon City.

The onslaught of inhuman, guttural growling had died down with the echo of gunshots. All flesh-eating creatures surrounding her now lay dead on the streets of Raccoon City. Now, a heavy silence sits. And the fear that follows slices into her flesh like a jagged knife. But, not for her life, no. For yours.

Ada briskly and anxiously scrutinizes her surroundings, searching for that jaw-dropping face she fell so hard and violently for. In the end, she finds nothing. All she is met with is the flickering lights of corner shops and the crackling of fire from car wrecks. When she looks down, however, Ada discovers the crumbled dandelion you gave her beneath the foot of her heel. Hastily, she grasps the precious weed and stuffs it into her coat pocket.

From here, attaining the G-Sample, selling it to the highest bidder, and earning more money than she could ever need was irrelevant. All that matters is finding you. Her darling petal, her bunny rabbit. Her salvation.

Ada's relentless efforts to find you result in Raccoon City being torn to shreds. Searching through Mizoil Gas Station to Umbrella's underground laboratory, all her attempts at bringing you back into her arms are brought to no avail. Ada is worn down and stained with grime, absolutely exhausted with dread.

It isn't until the golden sun rises does she learn of survivors being sent to a hospital outside of the city. She abandons everything in Raccoon City and high-tails it to Fox Park Hospital. Her feet ache from its uncomfortable stance in her stilettos and her lungs throb from the constant sprint. Still, nothing matters but you.

When she arrives at the hospital, she is overwhelmed with concerned families and tireless doctors. Several nurses inquire her about her physical state, but Ada disregards their concern entirely. She thought she could hide how perceptibly enamored she is with you through sly remarks and poised disposition. Maybe she'd conjure up some flattering remark to one of the doctors and bite her lip, all to gain access to your location. However, the only trait others can garner from her attitude is a desperate, downright feral act of despair.

Sharp nails digging into the shoulders of a poor nurse, she demands he inform her of your whereabouts. When the nurse squeaks out where you had been admitted to, Ada nearly punts him to the ground before breaking into a dash. She shoves past all other bystanders and bursts through the door to your room. And the way her heart surges in her chest upon entering could rival that of a genuine, torturous death.

There you lay, unconscious on the hospital bed. Bandages adorn the bruises and scars littered on your body. A white cast has been ensnared around your right arm.

The sight is nothing short of devastating. In a moment of weakness, she had so frivolously let you escape from her embrace. Now, you had to be the one who suffered the consequences.

Softly, Ada sits beside your sleeping form and restrains the urge to tackle you into a hug. It scares her, this sudden sense of warmth she possesses for you. She takes your weak hand into hers and shivers from the tender contact. I should not feel this way, she thinks to herself. Nothing about this is okay.

Despite the experience she has in the field of romance, Ada has never obtained genuine feelings for someone. All that lay beneath the surface of her seductive veneer was nothingness, sheer dust. She'll wear that coquettish nature like a crown and revel in the sense of power she feels of having someone beneath her. They care more about her than she does about them. And she loves it.

With you, though, things are different. Much different.

In all 24 years of her life, Ada never anticipated being slapped across the face with such raw emotion. The instance was ephemeral, but all-too devastating in the same breath. Dandelion between your fingers and the playful light in your eyes — the sight robbed her heart blind like candy from a baby. A lifetime spent in the depths of Winter, who knew a mere second of eye contact was all she needed to be lunged into the heavenly warmth of spring?

Ada is humiliated upon finding herself in the depths of such a ridiculous predicament. You have turned her into some lovesick monster, entirely incapable of maintaining stability. She thought she could control it; she thought she could shove you into a box with the rest of her past lovers. But, much like every other attempt she has made involving you, she failed miserably. No matter how hard she tries, she can't stop herself from being in love with you.

With this epiphany comes another. Every bruise, every scar, every wound on your body is living proof of what your life will become if she were to take you away. As badly as she wishes to take you and drown you in her adoration, she holds herself back. To live in complete bliss would mean robbing you of a good life; to ensure her happiness would mean robbing you of yours. By taking you away, her life would begin, yes, but yours would end. And if she were to take away the precious light you hold inside, she would never forgive herself.

The syringe she managed to snag from a passing doctor clatters to the floor. A physical manifestation of the realization seeping through her mind. For the very first time in her life, she cannot be selfish. For the first time, someone else's well-being is more important than hers.

She doesn't deserve you and you don't deserve her. You deserve happiness, you deserve normalcy, you deserve safety.

You deserve everything she cannot give you.

With a trembling breath, she affectionately drags the joint of her fingers down the side of your face. The mere thought of never being able to see this sight again shatters her. But for you, she would do absolutely anything, no matter how soul-crushing the pain is. Anything.

"Until next time, Y/N..."

The next six years were a tumultuous, frenzied blur. Ada Wong, notorious for her enticing personality, has crumbled.

Head-first, the agent had thrown herself into her work. Anything to keep her mind off of you. Or, at the very least, to look at the horrors she faces in her career to further remind herself you are better off without her. Every day, she oscillates with the idea of checking up on you, wherever you may be. It would be far too easy, as told by her skills. Though, if she were to do this, she knows she would not be able to leave you like she did six years ago. It had nearly killed Ada to leave you behind in that hospital. She isn't sure if she can survive that same pain all over again.

These gnawing desires keep her awake into the late hours of the night. Tossing and turning in bed, tossing and turning the idea of how good it would feel to have you in her arms. She wraps her arms around herself and caresses her own skin, pretending it is your hands on her body instead of her imagination. She feels weak, she feels deranged. But, she cannot help it. It kills her to not have you here with her.

She wonders how your life has changed since Raccoon City. What makes you smile, what makes you cry, if you're up at night thinking about her the way she does you. The misery nearly emulates the feeling of being butchered, as if you had personally cut open her flesh and sewed your name into her veins. But, Ada would do anything for you. Even if it means enduring the same torture every day, she is satisfied with life knowing she got to hold you. Even for just a second.

After a call with Albert Wesker, she is reminded yet again why you should not be a part of her life. To be exposed to this separate world would only be detrimental to you. She could never curse you with the burden that is her lifestyle. You deserve far more than that.

Ada teases the ring on her left hand. Mere hours after the crisis in Raccoon City, she preserved the dandelion you gave her and had it pressed into a ring. Six years later, this piece of jewelry has always ensnared her finger, as it remains her only source of security. The memory of you pulls at her heartstrings the way an angel plays a harp. In fact, it is the only memory she has that she can look back on fondly, as opposed to the bloodshed she has been so frivolously exposed to.

So absorbed in the warm rain of your memory, Ada nearly forgets the task Wesker had assigned for her. Abruptly and harshly, she is once again given another reminder of why you should stay far away from her. You make her weak, as Wesker told her, and neither of them cannot afford that weakness. She was fortunate enough to never disclose your identity with him, as he may have hunted you down in retaliation to her slacking efforts.

She doesn't know what she would do if she learned you were suffering out there. Wherever you are.

Opening the file Wesker sent to her, Ada scrutinizes the myriad of information sent her way. Through the grapevine, there was hearsay of Umbrella surviving the wreckage of Raccoon City. Satellite imagery displayed a vast forest where they had set up their 'sanctuary,' as they called it. Within the sanctuary were survivors of Raccoon City, where they would be kept captive to avoid exposing Umbrella and forcing them to face the consequences of their mistakes.

Her task was simple: find out if they have samples of Amber in their possession. If so, deliver the sample back to Wesker.

Of course, with this mission arose heavy concern. Images of you being subject to Umbrella's abuse sent a serrated rush of panic through her body. Ada had practically torn herself asunder with her efforts to protect you, she never acknowledged how other dangers may have slipped through the cracks.

A consideration, one much stronger than before, is what she is faced with. Giving into her selfish desires and having you by her side would benefit her happiness, yes, but it would also expose you to the horrors of her life. Leaving you without this burden in whatever life you had chosen for yourself would most likely benefit your happiness, yes, but would expose you to peril she cannot control. She would put her life down for your happiness, after all.

This consideration plagues Ada's mind as she is flown out to the sanctuary. Since the area was under investigation by another team, she had to play this smart, no matter how badly she wished to storm through the doors and hunt you down.

Yellow tape surrounds the entire premise, and numerous police officers and detectives are scattered amongst the area. Picking the lock to a window; Ada slides into the building with flexible ease. She lands with a bounce upon a bed. The springs whine beneath her weight; the headboard creaks with frail fragility. She finds herself in a sunken mess of fluffy throw blankets and tacky plushies. Climbing out of the array after practically drowning in it, Ada straightens her dress before scrutinizing the room.

The area is naturally stale. The same way a bleak, depressing hospital room feels. However, this detail is hidden beneath the mass of decorations and clutter. It is surrounded by love, despite its dull foundation.

A rickety bookshelf and stale bedside table are settled by the bed. On them are books checked out from the sanctuary's library, as well as wilting plants, a flickering salt lamp, dusty candles, and even more heaps of plushies. Ada's heels sink into a fuzzy rug as she studies the contents. A clothing rack can be found, too, with boring clothes hung upon it. Stickers and doodles adorn the supports, as well. 

Across from this was a sofa couch that sat opposite a chunky television. Cheesy horror movies are stacked on top of the thick surface. Another plant sits by the television in a custom-painted pot, leaves adorned in brown decay. Another plushie is rested against the TV, as well. God, how many stuffed animals does a person need?

Nothing within this small expanse relates to your whereabouts or the Amber, which eases Ada's mind. She lets out a sigh of relief. It would pain her in ways she could never fathom to know you were suffering in Umbrella's disturbed idea of a "sanctuary" while she was too busy trying to forget you.

Ada walks through the adjacent threshold and finds a small kitchen. Once again, the dull appearance had been diluted with heartfelt decor. Hand-crafted paintings are strung upon the walls. Some show the childlike fun of the artist, while others display the raw talent every brush and stroke exudes. A small table is huddled in the corner with a vase of Lego flowers serving as the centerpiece.

Cooking utensils, handmade clay figures, and tea sets are all scattered on the kitchen counters. A package of chamomile tea had been left out on the same counter and the shattered pieces of a mug had been left on the concrete. Strange, but it does not pull her attention.

It isn't until something catcher her eye while on her way out does her heart pound. By the art on the wall, beyond the scatterings of band posters and paintings, a myriad of polaroids had been taped into the shape of a heart.

And directly in the middle is a polaroid of you.

It is a candid shot of you in the sanctuary's garden surrounded by lush flowers. Fat, glittery smile on your face, there is more light in your eyes than Ada had ever seen. Beyond the jealousy for the photographer who got the privilege of drowning in that gaze, a sinking pit of dread sits like a brick in her stomach.

You were here. This whole time, you were here.

It only makes sense this is your room, she should have known. Who better to bring love into such a dank estate than you? You've made something bland more lively, as you do in all other areas of life. But, she was so concerned with roping you into the violent dangers of her life, that she strayed as far away from you as she could. Still, you found yourself here in the end. She was so concerned with keeping her vigorous feelings for you at bay that her negligence had caused you to be thrust into the darkest pits of this world. And nothing she can do now will erase the sheer weight of her frivolous mistake.

Her chest expands and deflates rapidly with hyperventilating breaths. Black dots swim in her doubled vision. Her skin is sheen with sweat. Nausea swims in her stomach. She collapses onto the bed, your bed. A quiet array of whispered "no"'s evades the cramped bedroom. She can't think, can't breathe, can't do anything!

"My petal, I'm so sorry. My sweet petal... How could I have let this happen...?" Ada is completely and utterly devastated.

The pervasion of an unfamiliar voice seeps in from outside the door. Ada covers her mouth to muffle the hyperventilating breaths protruding from her.

"T said they've fled to Spain. Fucking Spain, can you believe that shit?"

"Goddamn Umbrella... If only Oliveira were still here to see this. 'Give him somethin' else to do than daydream about his bitch, 'know what I mean?"

"I hear ya. Dude's a fucking nutcase."

Spain? Is that where you could be? Is that where Umbrella has taken you?

The doorknob jiggles and Ada immediately stands to her feet. Her swift nature had been robbed from her, as her legs now felt like two bags of sand. Her head throbs violently. It sounds like a tumultuous clammer before she succumbs to the turmoil and falls to the ground.

Sweat seeping down her forehead and her hands shaking, Ada attempts to pull herself up. She grips the corner of the bed frame and pulls her entire body weight. Her stiletto then accidentally kicks something beneath the bed. Looking for identification, Ada finds a plastic case with several cassette tapes inside. As she studies it, the doorknob jiggles once more. After greedily taking hold of it, Ada swiftly takes a few more souvenirs before leaving. The polaroid of you, a flower you molded out of clay, and an opossum plushie nestled on your bed. Then, she is off.

And within the penthouse that feels more like a model house than it does her actual home, Ada sits in her office. Inside the case full of cassettes, dates are written on each tape. Upon closer inspection, there's a sudden halt in activity after October. Almost as if Umbrella has lost interest in you. She prays this is the only reason, that they had released you and let you enjoy a life filled with the happiness you deserve. Thinking of the opposite has her whole body shivering.

Ada takes the cassette player in her desk and pops the earliest tape into place. She was so invested in finding where you had run off to, she had completely disregarded the gut-wrenching effect your voice would have on her. It's so... pretty. Like the first birdcall of Spring, like gentle waves crashing against the shore.

Ada is quick to grasp her control back, shifting her attention to the actual context of your words instead of how badly she wished to hear you whisper in her ear.

The contents of the tape display an audio journal, where you recall every horrid detail of the night that changed your life. You mention Leon Kennedy and Ada rolls her eyes from the annoyance his mere name brings. Six years have passed since she's seen him, or even thought of him, for that matter. But, the irritation that cop was marvelous at triggering still lives on. Of course, he's the first thing you talk about. She's sure he'd be ecstatic knowing this.

You speak about your time working at Mizoil Gas Station. When you trail off about your coworkers, your voice perceptibly drops when you speak of one in particular. With his wandering hands, sultry words, and a compulsion to ignore every 'no' you sent his way, you admit to yourself how good it felt to kill him.

As infuriated as this makes Ada, you then speak her name, and all coherent thoughts are stolen from her. She has to cover her mouth to restrain the sharp gasp that escapes. You do not speak thoroughly of your encounter with her, much to her dismay. Only detailing how she guided you out of the police department and protected you. Still, she revels in the harmonious melody of you speaking of her.

Ada can crawl out of cloud nine when you, unfortunately, move on to the next fraction of that night. To escape the zombies that attacked you and her, you sought protection in the local gun shop. There, you meet someone she was not aware of.

Jill Valentine.

Ada's eyes narrow when you speak of this woman. She can see the obvious signs of her being attracted to you, but you could be none-the-wiser to these affections. Your inability to heed flirtation is adorable if Ada were to be honest.

There's another transition to where you meet another man. Someone who, once again, Ada was unfamiliar with.

Carlos Oliveira.

He, too, showed obvious signs of being attracted to you. Which, once again, flew over your head. Both he and Jill had saved your life numerous times and you expressed this gratitude. To you, it was nothing but a common heroic act from two hardworking cops. Ada, however, read through the lines of their actions the same way she could read a children’s book.

They are in love with you. Hopelessly so. That much is clear.

It should be obvious. This is you we're talking about, after all. As much as she wishes they wouldn't, it is simply impossible to not become irrevocably besotted with you. Even if it were feasible, it would simply be brainless not to wish to spend the rest of forever with you.

The tape whirs as it reaches its ending point. Your story ends with waking up at Fox Park Hospital before being sent to this sanctuary. However, there is nothing that implies where your path has led six years later. There are miscellaneous updates on your physical health and your mental state, but there are zero indications of where you have vanished from.

With you gone and no reliable trace of your disappearance, there are only two potential outcomes of your whereabouts. Either you are still in Umbrella's clutches or those two cops have taken you for themselves. Six years of contemplation and Ada has finally reached a solution. Not a structured one, but a solution, nonetheless.

Find you, ensure your safety, and pray to God she has enough strength to leave you after.

And you, Y/N L/N, are exactly where Ada thought you'd be. However, the circumstances of your whereabouts are far different than what she presumed them to be.

After Dr. Gorkis, the man you had once called your friend, forced you into a state of unconsciousness, you were comatose for an undisclosed amount of time. When you wake, you are perplexed over your foreign environment. Inspecting your surroundings, there is absolutely nothing that can enlighten you of what happened within the dark gap of your memories.

The room you have awoken in is gloomy, accompanied by the cracked lantern protecting you from complete murk. The stone walls surrounding you are riddled with moss and chains. Several shelves stand awkwardly in the corners, where dilapidated books and broken pots all rest on the rickety surface. A rusted plate sits by your feet. A cluster of flies hover over the mashed potatoes hardened from age and the bread overwhelmed with mold.

You search about for any familiar faces, presumably those of Jill and Carlos. This isn't the first time you've been kidnapped, after all. If they were to lurk in the dark depths of this room, it would surely be no surprise. Instead, the area around you is entirely desolate. Nothing but the sound of your bated breath fills the empty space.

Your neck aches, your head throbs, your body trembles — everything has morphed into a permanent hue of misery you do not recognize. In a morbid way, you could almost be grateful for the circumstances you were kidnapped in before. A beautiful sanctuary, then a lavish home, and now this. A cold, decrepit room with no one to comfort you but yourself.

It's almost comical, how much this has happened to you. However, when you bring your hand to your neck to ease the pain and feel the necklace Carlos gifted you, laughter does not escape you. Alternatively, you curl your fingers around the pearls and yank with what little strength is left in your body. You watch with newfound satisfaction as the pieces clatter to the rotten floorboards.

A new beginning; the next chapter. That is what this feels like.

Stumbling over to the decaying door, it whines as you open it steadily. Haphazardly scanning the area for any potential assailants, you find none. Instead, you find a narrow hallway with lit candles hung upon the decaying walls. The light they exude guides you to a large window smeared with dirt and grime. Outside, the heavy downpour of rain neglects your need to identify your current location.

Your vision then abruptly goes black and an unfathomable pain ensnares your head. It leads you to collapse against the wall as you groan out from the abysmal misery. A voice calls out to you from the depths of your mind. A sort of ghastly incantation. A whisper you would only hear in the presence of a nightmare.

"Pursue them..." It taunts, "The lost lamb is escaping. Deliver onto them... Salvation..."

And just as it had begun, it was over. Your vision has cleared, and the ache in your skull has eased. It was all over.

One glance through the filthy window and fear hits you like a punch to your gut. A group of people dressed in ragged clothing make their presence known, all with pitchforks and axes in hand. Their torches guide them as they follow the muddied path. You can only stare in trepidation as they saunter about like hungry predators in search of prey.

When you hear the chains to the front entrance rattle, you turn and race towards your escape. Up the rotten steps of the ladder, the dingy expanse of the attic does not aid you in your efforts to flee. The light at the end of the tunnel is a shattered window, where the harsh weather brings violent rain and wind into the room. Out of the window, a shed riddled with overgrown ivy sits at a nearly-perfect distance beneath. You'd rather break your ankles than get sacrificed, after all.

Ripping the bandaid off, you leap from the ledge and land clumsily. It is a thunderous collision your assailants most certainly heard. With your feet fortunately intact, you leap from the roof of the shed and sprint away from the chaos behind you.

You hear unintelligible shouts, you hear accelerating footsteps, and you hear gunshots echo from afar. Rain feels like glass as it pours down on you. They meld with your tears and sweat. Your feet are cramped in your new, expensive boots. Still, you do not look back. Even with your lungs aching with every step you take, you continue to race forward as far as your legs can take you.

Several more throbbing paces and you find yourself in the center of a village. Dilapidated houses are scattered around the grounds, while large mountains frame the small area. Shifting your gaze forward, you find a rickety signpost. Signs that once read locations had now been overwhelmed with blood. The words 'Los Iluminados' and 'Lord Saddler' were painted in the red matter.

In a fit of enervation, you fall to the dirt. The substance stains your body and clothes, something Jill and Carlos put so much effort into preserving. You feel a sense of trepidation when your thoughts subconsciously drift to those two. Staring down at yourself, you see how every inch of you is still marked in their possession. The scent of Carlos' cologne still clings to his jacket that he draped around you. The shoelaces Jill quadruple-knotted have now been torn, the loose threading dirty and sticking out in awkward directions. Almost as if after all of this turmoil to escape them, their residue was still printed on you.

With air in your lungs after what felt like so long without it, you bring yourself to your feet. You clench your aching abdomen before limping forward. You then ponder over how you'll recount this absurd story to the police.

Then, you're flying.

Something wraps around your waist and yanks. Before you can comprehend it, the ground grows further, further, and further away from you.

With an exclaim of surprise, you land on the flat ledge of a mountain. You don't have a chance to acknowledge the impossible explanation of you defying gravity. Not when your breath gets lodged in your throat when you find the source of the sudden occurrence.

Ada Wong is that very source.

You stare up at her with the same disbelief she possessed. And this sight of you is surely something she will never forget.

The lick of sun in your eyes has never faltered, despite the years of chaos and disarray you’ve endured. The rain speckles across your body and cascades down your flesh, almost as if it was savoring every inch of you it got to touch. Bruises sit like kisses upon your skin; blood is painted on you like a vermillion art piece. Exactly the way it was six years ago.

Ada has found you. And the intensity of the euphoria that follows could be enough to kill a man, she is sure of it.

It is gut-wrenching, how beautifully nostalgic the sight is. This time, however, she will not allow any unwelcome guests to intrude.

Ada returns her grapple gun to the holster and crouches down beside you. A tender, gloved hand finds its way to your waist. It shivers and hovers, terrified of the emotions she'll be unable to control when she makes contact. Terrified of feeling nothing but cold sheets beneath her and waking up from this dream. When her hand does find you, as it always will, a hot chill surges through her body. Ada can hardly gather herself as the revelation settles. You are safe, you are alive, and you are with her again.

The other hand finds your cheek. The dandelion-pressed ring pokes against your skin, a firm reminder of how long this devotion has lived. She can feel the Earth sparkling in her palms with her hands on you; she can feel the warmth of the stars with your flesh against hers. Every bone, every sinew, every vein — everything good the universe have to offer is right beneath her. So, she does what she wished to do before, but was interrupted. What she has dreamt of doing for years, but was not able to do. She does what she has always wanted to do.

Her lips are on yours faster than you could think.

Everything inside her... Melts.

Rain falls like confetti. The frigid temperatures ease from the heat you share together. Every jut and curve of your lips mold perfectly against hers, as if you were made for each other. It robs her breath straight from her lungs, it robs her brain of any coherent function. The thumping of her heart batters in her ears as though it were trying to lunge from her chest with its sheer, rampant speeds. Her hands shiver with fervent need. The lump in her throat remains lodged no matter how much she tries to swallow it. What on Earth are you doing to her?

Your kiss is more soul-crushing than she would like to admit, as pride has always been her most prized possession. And it is all so stupidly cliché that Ada could almost laugh. A kiss in the rain. She never thought she would experience something as tooth-rotting and romantic as this. Still, it succeeds in practically shattering what remains of her moral compass. The suave and collected Ada Wong has been shattered. And the devil on her shoulder begs her to indulge in every last sliver of you she can.

She's a woman of self-control, but you had torn that control straight from her hands and claimed it as yours. She's a woman with tight fists and cruel words, but you have taken every rough edge and filed them down to soft curves.

When you inevitably part, Ada follows the direction your lips go, absolutely desperate for another taste. She is practically inconsolable without your warmth.

"Y/N..." She gasps out your name. It's a silent prayer for more of this, for more of you.

Dark webs of veins then spread among your face like woven spider's silk. It causes your vision to blur and your ears to ring. You wince from the sudden surge of pain and recoil from Ada's touch, something she didn't anticipate being so gutted by. The agony pumps through your veins like a drug; it has you writhing and groaning against the mud. It practically robs you of all your senses, the only comprehensible thing being the torture inflicted upon your feeble body.

Ada is then forcefully brought to reality where she is cruelly reminded of how this is not real. She cannot have you and you were never meant to be hers. No matter how badly she wishes you could be.

When you turn over, clutching your stomach in pain, she places her hand on your shoulder. Your eyebrows scrunched in confused pain, face wet from the pouring rain, lips sheen from her lip gloss. You are beautiful in the most devastating way. The sight bursts her heart open as if someone has nestled a bomb in her chest cavity. But, how she feels in this moment is not important. The one thing she has torn herself apart to prevent is now happening. You are hurting.

"What- What's happening to me!?" You cry out, a chunk of blood splattering from your mouth when you cough.

"Y/N... My petal...!" Ada's thumb rubs soothing circles on your arm while her cheek rests against the same surface. She clutches onto you like you're her lifeline, her last sliver of hope.

A voice interrupts. "Ada! I've been looking everywhere for-"

Ada rips her gun from its holster and points it at the intruder in fervent speed. She is terrified of being torn away from you like she was several years ago, she cannot let it happen again.

Luis Sera puts his hands up in defense, eyes blown wide in shock from her sudden shift in nature. In one hand of his is a dirtied white box with tape sloppily wrapped around the frame. He shakes it timidly, diverting her attention to what is most important about their agreement. Cure Ada of the infection and she'll let him take a seat on her helicopter.

Her stance does not halter, however. Instead, she throws yet another demand his way.

"Cure them." She orders. A perceptible tinge of despair is present in her tone.

When he remains frozen, Ada steps closer and presses the barrel of her gun directly to his forehead.

"Cure them or you know what happens." Her stare is violent. Her disposition is terrifying. There is nothing but the honest, undying truth with every syllable she speaks.

"I- But, our deal-?"

A gunshot echoes.

Deafening. Heart-stopping. The sound is accompanied by the harsh thump of Luis' dead body. Horrifying.

Ada takes the box from his limp grasp. She flips his deceased body over and steals the sample of Amber doused in blood, shoving it into her pocket. Using her sharp nails and an impromptu knife, she then slices the tape from the box. Once she hastily takes the syringe from its plastic enclosure, she rushes over to you.

Her behavior endures an abrupt shift when she crouches at your side. From a blood-thirsty monster to a fluffy-winged angel, Ada caresses your skin as if it were fine silk. You whimper as you float in and out of consciousness. You are so inert, in fact, you do not feel the intrusion of a needle and the anecdote seeping through your bloodstream. Ada comforts you through this entire process. Caresses to your flesh, kisses to your skin — she does it all terrified of it being the last time she ever touches you.

With the key to Luis' laboratory, she knows what her next course of action is. What she originally anticipated to be a quick check-up on your well-being had manifested into awakening her deep, irreparable fervor for you. But, she cannot let her measly emotions blind her to what is most important. You and only you.

She will stay, cure you, and pray to God once more that she has enough strength to leave you after.

And it kills her more than she ever thought it would.

When you wake, you find a blinding, fluorescent light hanging above your head. Cold metal and jagged leather nestles into your skin. The tapping of keyboards and technology humming fills the silence. You could almost roll your eyes if it weren't for the confusion overruling all. Have you been kidnapped again?

Attempting to gain mobility and move your body was entirely fruitless. Instead, a weak whine is all you can conjure. The frail sound is immediately met with the affections of someone else in the room.

Even in these circumstances — the grungy expanse of Luis' lab and Ada's dead parasite on the ground — she has never felt such euphoria. The severity of these feelings terrifies her, but she cannot help but fall into the emotions like a child would jump into a swimming pool. To be with you, there is nothing she could ever want more. But, as she has firmly stated numerous times, she cannot be selfish with you. No matter how badly she wishes to do such.

"Everything is going to be alright, petal. I won't let anything happen to you... Never again..." Another kiss is pressed upon your forehead. Ada's lip gloss stirs with the icy sweat beaming on your flesh.

One tap to the computer and the machinery whirs to life. Three lasers then protrude into you and begin to eradicate the Las Plagas inside of your body.

A horrible, gut-wrenching scream evades the room. Agony hits you like a tidal wave. You shout, you wail, you sob. You are in such horrendous pain, it is impossible to keep quiet. Your relentless squirming to escape the source of such misery was futile, as the restraints around your wrists keep you compliant and subject to this torment. Reassurances of "I'm here, petal" fail to conquer the sheer volume of your cries. Ada takes your hand, peppering kisses and nuzzles upon any surface of skin she can reach. Soul-crushing dread satiates her body upon seeing you in such pain. It is hurting her more than it is hurting you.

How could she have been so ignorant? How could she have let your suffering get to this point?

How could she have possibly lived every day oblivious to your well-being? How can she live with herself now knowing she had so carelessly neglected you?

How can she possibly live without you?

And as fast as it started, it was all over. The hum of the machinery silences. A vibrant "SUCCESS" flashes on the computer screen. Ease envelops your body like a warm blanket and for the umpteenth time that day, you doze off. It's a slumber like never before, where the sheer exhaustion derived from the most eventful 24 hours of your life has finally boiled over.

You now lay there. Lifeless.

"Y-... Y/N...?" Ada's voice barely surfaces above a whisper.

The death grip you had on her hand weakened and Ada never anticipated the sheer terror it would make her feel. The fear is a heavy weight on her chest, a tremor in her body. Something wet cascades down her cheeks. With skepticism, she brings her gloved hand to her face to identify the strange substance.

She's... crying?

Ada can't remember the last time she had cried. Her entire life she has powered through any turmoil with her chin held high and a stone-cold soul. Never was she allowed to feel, hence the secure control she has over herself. Now, however, the emotions escape through her facade the way a gunshot wound bleeds through a dirty bandaid.

Your flesh is cold, your body is painfully still. Ada can not bring herself to consider the conclusion that pokes and prods at her mind. Where the big heart she fell in love with stops beating. Where the eyes she'd give her life to gazes in forever loses their light. Where the only good thing this disgusting world has to offer is taken away.

Where she loses hold of the only happiness she has ever felt.

The clinical logic that had always benefited her has now become her worst enemy. Ada scans your body from head to toe, desperate for even the smallest sliver of life. More gasps of your name pervade the room, as well as the gentle, yet desperate nudges to your body in hopes of waking you from your slumber.

Ensuring you are safe, happy, and far away from the dangers within her own life has become her only purpose. Without you, Ada is now lost within the whorls of her empty, dreary world.

The woman is full-on weeping now. It had been so long, she had forgotten what it felt like to cry altogether. Her face twists with every ugly sob parting from her mouth. Her form convulses with each uncontrollable cry protruding out of her chest. Ada has become a mess of snot and tears, surely a sight the old version of her would be revolted by.

A cough fills the lonely silence. And the groggy sound could rival an angel's symphony with its raw beauty.

Alive.

You are alive.

"Hey, you did it...!" You manage to wheeze out upon seeing your status on the computer screen, voice dazed and crooked.

A smile, albeit a weak one, breaks out on your face and Ada swears she has not ever seen a sight so breathtaking. Her hands cling to your face, searching every inch to ensure she hasn't lost the only thing she could ever love. And then, she smiles. Ada smiles like she never has before; Ada smiles like she has never known pain. It is nearly deranged, how blinding and exhilarating the emotions on her face are.

She speaks before her brain can compute the consequences of her next actions.

"I love you."

The three words are spoken with such acute clarity, it is difficult to not be completely entranced by them. Ada's eyes are blown wide as her gaze sinks into yours. Her body trembles from the irrepressible fear mixed with relief coursing through her. For the first time in (quite literally) forever, she is telling the pure, unadulterated truth. However, your lack of reciprocation causes Ada's logic to fully take control of her mind. You do not love her. And as impossible as it is, she must force herself to not love you. But God, you do not make it easy.

"I-I mean- Did you have any doubt, petal? I should be offended you think so low of me. But, with those eyes, how could I be?" The tremble in her voice jeopardizes her attempt at swiftly building vanity.

You don't respond to her, you can't respond. All you can think about is how you nearly died and how Jill and Carlos will surely slit her throat for what she has done.

Ada glances down at the ring on her finger, the very thing that has held her over these past six years. It is almost humiliating to wear it. To know its existence is because of her inability to move on from this stupid crush that has somehow harbored full control of her life. Then again, Ada cannot bear to ever part from it. The thought makes her queasy, like a boat swaying against harsh waves of melancholic uncertainty. To toss the ring overboard would mean completely succumbing to the force of the sea, to drown in the heavy mass of her feelings. Cursed for eternity with stagnant sorrow.

And even though the truth strikes like a knife, Ada must commit to the plan she originally formed. Bring you to safety and pray to God once again that she has enough strength to leave you after.

"Three times..." You whisper to yourself in disbelief, your voice a ghost that Ada can hardly decipher.

With furrowed brows and a quiet hum of question, she beckons you to continue.

"Only six years and I have managed to get kidnapped not once, not twice, but three times. That's gotta earn me a place in Guinness, right?"

She reads through your attempt at masking your prevailing emotions with humor. That playful attitude, how deeply she loves it. And how devastatingly difficult it is for her to fall out of love with it. In these circumstances, when your lively demeanor is used to shield yourself from pain, it quickly festers into something she despises.

Even through everything that has happened, you are still playful. Cracking jokes, making comical jests. Just like you did all those years ago. Ada could almost be angry at you for this, for making her fall so clumsily in love with you. Almost.

"First, it was Umbrella. They had never hurt me, so I never felt they deserved the title of "kidnappers," but I guess my naivety is what got me into this shit in the first place."

This 'naivety' you speak so poorly of is mistaken for the honest warmth of your heart. You have this beautiful ability to find positivity, light, and kindness in the ugly world. Yet again, another reason why it is impossible for her to untangle you from her heartstrings. She does not speak of this, however. She is afriad of vomiting out every syllable of adoration her voice could muster.

"Then, it was..."

You hesitate, a subtlety Ada does not overlook.

"Jill and Carlos." Their names sit like rotten fruit on your tongue.

You cringe upon imagining how those two would surely react to you now, fawning over your current state as if you're some baby lamb. They nearly have a breakdown from something as mere as a paper cut, you cannot imagine the absolute warfare they'd induce upon seeing you now. Beaten, bloodied, and your organs practically on fire from the laser-induced torture they had just endured. Though, it feels strangely good to be able to breathe without them.

"A little over six months is how long they kept me. Again, they never hurt me, so it feels wrong of me to call them "kidnappers"... When I think too hard about it, I know it is what they are, I just never wanted to admit it. God, they took my freedom like it was pocket change!"

The sneer you hold has nothing against the absolute fury stretched among Ada's face.

"In the end, I escaped. I-I didn't know where I intended to go or what my plan was, but now I really, really don't know what to do..."

To make matters worse, you curl into yourself and begin to cry. It kills her to do such, but she must hold herself back, as giving you comfort would only add fuel to the fire that is her devotion to you. And to refrain from scooping you in her arms is practically killing her. To not be able to touch and comfort you, Ada knows that this is the universe testing her. No, torturing her. Every mistake, every flaw, every selfish deed — this is the karma that caught up to her after a lifetime of running from its inevitability.

"And I'm just so scared. I know they're gonna find me again and I won't be able to escape them. I'll never be free. I'll be running forever until I either submit to them o-or die!"

A beat passes when another unwelcome, unruly sob escapes your throat. The sheer calamity of this day had prevented you from processing these events. Now, the exhaustion and anguish are too much for you to bottle up.

"Oh, petal..." As you cry, Ada's long acrylics dig into the meat of her palm.

She refrains from caressing the warm skin of your shoulder. She holds herself back from pressing another tender kiss to your forehead. To prevent herself from doing such feels like suffocating. As if the heavy mass of her burning desires became physical matter and were now crushing her.

"Ada, I can't thank you enough for all you have done for me." Your gratitude is certainly not taken for granted, as every pretty word falls from your mouth and directly into the mosaic of her heart.

She cannot be in love with you anymore. She can't, she can't, she can't.

"I'm sorry for being so selfish, but please..." With helpless desperation in your eyes, you plead as though your words do not make her absolutely weak.

She must stay strong, she must complete her plan. Find you, ensure your safety, and pray to God she has enough strength to leave you after.

"Don't leave me..."

Welp, there goes that plan.

She would slaughter every soul before she'd admit it to herself, but turning her back on it has now done more harm than good.

You make her soft.

Needy.

Hungry.

You have rendered her to the same disposition of an animal, entirely feral for any chunk of you she can sink her teeth into.

"I'm right here, petal... I'm not going anywhere."

Ada Wong has let go. And you are oblivious to the consequences of this.

The resistance she once had has now faded. For six years, these tree roots have coiled around her limbs, keeping her restrained within the suffocating soil. Today, they have untangled themselves. Ada surfaces the thick dirt to find Spring in its most genuine, vulnerable time. Bunnies chase through the blossoming flowers. Trees dance with the gentle breeze. Fresh rivers flow through the bright forest. The war has ended; the torture is over.

You are at her side and there is nothing Ada could ever want more.

When she guides you out of the laboratory, she informs you of the helicopter that will soon arrive. If you weren't seconds away from succumbing to exhaustion, you'd notice the terrifying, devoted undertones beneath her structured facade. There is a man and a woman you have seen this behavior in too well, after all. However, Ada's ability to maintain herself differs from Jill and Carlos' messy aptitude.

She says your name, beckoning you to follow her. Y/N. It feels so good to say it, to have the sugary word on her tongue. It feels so good to speak it into the air and watch those eyes gaze at her with wonder, the same wonder she has fallen so hopelessly in love with. The bliss that follows after you should be considered a crime with the sheer effect it has on her. Then again, Ada was never one to follow the rules.

The two of you both race through the many twists and turns that scatter the island. Shipping containers, cargo lifts, and barrels splattered with yellow paint, you and Ada dodge the obstacles in your path. And still, she protects you with her life. Just as she had wholly promised.

Back in Raccoon City, she had lost control. She cannot afford to lose that control again, not when losing you is a possibility. Her mindless infatuation had already thrust you into danger, she would die if she let it happen once more.

With burning lungs and weak legs, you both finally arrive at the loading docks. Ada doesn't break a sweat as she tells you the helicopter will be arriving shortly. You collapse onto a pile of brown, paper sacks, now finally given a moment of rest after so many exhausting hours without it. You could nearly cry with relief.

The creak and whine of footsteps against the thin metal floors pervade the air.

A voice speaks.

"Y/N...!?"

You both look to identify the voice.

Your stomach sinks like an anchor at sea.

Leon Kennedy.

⁺ 🎧 , 🪷 you are currently listening to . . . ⁺ 🪺 , 🎵 ꪆ

THE BONUS TRACK !

❝ I CARE FOR YOU STILL

AND I WILL FOREVER . . . ❞

this is what i imaged ada's flower-pressed ring to look like. and this is what i imagined the teddy bear necklace carlos gave reader looks like.

gif creds :: ada.

#moonfairy #resident evil #leon kennedy #ada wong #jill valentine #carlos oliveira #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x reader #ada wong x reader #jill valentine x reader #carlos oliveira x reader #resident evil imagine #leon kennedy imagine #ada wong imagine #jill valentine imagine #carlos oliveira imagine #yandere leon kennedy #yandere ada wong #yandere jill valentine #yandere carlos oliveira #yandere #gn reader #gender neutral reader #Spotify

[ch-4-eri]

Use Me — Jill Valentine.

jill X fem! reader.

warnings: smut, p in v, strap use, strap referred to as ‘cock’. verbal abuse, very mean jill (oops), overstimulation, spitting, crying, swearing (lots of it) let me know if i miss anything i wrote this at 6am sorry if there’s any mistakes (it is proofread ish).

word count: 2.6k

you tossed and turned in bed as the clock read 12am, typical.

jill’s light snoring is all you could hear as your thoughts wandered and wandered for probably an hour now, stealing glances at jill every now and then.

she came back from her job, ate something, had a little conversation with you, then she quickly went to bed, which you couldn’t even blame her for, jill worked for so long and she does this for the both of you, she deserves her rest.

but your ovulation week had other ideas.

you were an aching horny mess.

tossing and turning made it worse because any movement you’ve made involving your legs would drive you crazier, staying still wasn’t helping either, you were a cat in heat.

as your mind kept you awake, your eyes went to your sleeping girlfriend, jill’s arms hugged the pillow as she was breathing slowly and steadily, she looked so peaceful and here you were, an inappropriate film was going off in your head.

your fingers went to her arm, nudging her slightly. “jill?”

jill groaned in response, her brows furrowed. “jill…” you repeated, wishing she’d register it sooner.

she groaned once more, her eyes fluttering.

“jill… i’m.. horny.” you dropped it, like she wasn’t even half asleep.

“what the fuck..” she mumbled tiredly, her tone groggy but all it did was send your pussy pulsating, you felt so pathetic.

you nudged her arm again. “just wake up..”

“touch yourself in the bathroom or something!” she says, blowing you off with a dismissive hand.

“of course not.. it doesn’t feel as good as when you do it.”

“i’m sleeping.”

“you’re awake now.”

as soon as you said that, jill rose up from the bedsheets with a groan, she was fuming.

one thing about jill is that you knew she hated being woken up for no reason, especially when she needed the sleep so badly, she worked her ass off early in the day and she can’t rest from your whiny little voice and your hormones.

you knew you were testing her but it wasn’t on purpose, the ache inside of you hurt the whole day and you can’t ignore it anymore, even when jill rubbed the sleep out of her angry eyes, sipped some water off the bedside table bottle she keeps on her when she’s dehydrated from her deep slumber.

“i’m getting so fucking tired of you.” jill spat, closing the bottle aside and runs her thick fingers through her short brown hair, you frowned slightly at her words but you deserved it, lowkey, yet all of this was making you even more horny, the ache between your legs was unbearable.

“so fucking sick of you, i can’t fucking sleep in this goddamn house.” jill says again, standing up from the bed, still trying to get herself more awake to deal with you, you were a little happy about the fact that you got her to wake up but she was so moody, not that you deserved to complain about her mood, maybe she’d fuck you but she wouldn’t be nice about it.

she turned to face you as she tucked her hair behind her ears, her blue eyes sit on yours.

“take off your clothes… off. now.” she demands, her tone pissy and controlling.

“w-what?” was all you managed which somehow made jill even more angry, you could swore she would hit you or something, she never did, but she was too patient with you before, you wondered when she’d snap like that? it was sick of you to imagine jill hitting you for asking her for sex like that, jill would never lay a hand on you, not for the purpose of seriously hurting you, she always watches out with the way she deals with you, she knows you can’t handle her full strength.

“you seriously fucking woke me up just to ‘what’ me? take off your fucking clothes! you know what—“ she says her eyes wide open in anger, her face red as her veins popped out of her neck.

jill climed up the bed and grabbed your shorts, pulling them down your legs forcefully as you let out a yelp. “shut the fuck up! i’m so sick of you!” she argued, her fingers found your thin shirt and took that off as well.

you weren’t fighting it, but as much as it was turning you on, you wondered if she was truly this mad at you and it made you anxious, your heart dropped to your stomach at the idea, her tone and the way she handled your clothes, yet you were getting so wet anyway, your mind and cunt had two different opinions about this.

her fingers dragged down your panties, throwing them off the floor. pushing you down onto the mattress, opening your legs with a strong palm separating your knees, you could seriously salivate from this moment alone.

but before she did anything else, she unclasped your bra, she didn’t look impressed in the slightest, yes jill was used to your body, knew you every inch, every freckle, but now that she wasn’t even complimenting you, made your heart drop even more, horny and anxious all at once.

jill threw your bra on the floor with a force, grabbing your face in her palm.

“which part of i’m sleeping did you not understand?!” she shouts, her fingers ghosting your sticky area, it was pulsating, calling her name.

“jill…” you breathed, hoping she’d go easy on you, you were terrified but oh so excited your pussy was tightening around nothing. “are you really that much of a needy whore?” she spats, her eyes narrowed like she was truly shaming you for it, like she was a total prude and would throw rocks at you for behaving this way.

“every other day.. every other week you need me to fuck you, or else you wouldn’t fucking let me sleep!” she slams her fists onto the mattress, making you jump, your eyes watering at her behavior, but so was your dripping wet hole.

“you know what? i will fuck you..” jill heaved, grabbing your face into her fist. “i’ll fuck you so hard, so hard you won’t be able to walk, or even talk. fuck you dumb enough you’ll stop talking altogether and let me have my own fucking peace for once, that’s what pretty sluts like you deserve, should be grateful i even give you the light of day, you’re a brat, and i’m so sick of you taking and sucking the life out of me.” jill spoke, letting go of your face with a force as you shed a tear, her words hurt so bad but you needed her just as badly.

she got out of bed then, the sound of her feet as she went to look for her strap were too loud, putting all her energy in the stomping, you sat up a bit; rubbing your thighs together, wiping the tear off your cheek.

the sound of the drawers opening and closing was all you could hear echoing in the bedroom, jill wouldn’t look at you either, as she finally took out her strap, she walked closer to you in bed, she usually always slid a condom over it as you requested so, saying the feeling of it inside you was a bit uncomfortable, but now that you’re too wet for that she decided to just smear her spit over it.

jill spat on her palm, rubbing it across the rubbery tip so she can slide it in easier, yes she was mad at you, but she hated to think she’d wanna hurt you on purpose.

she climbed on the bed, strap perfectly wrapped around her hips, wet enough to slide inside of you as she parted your legs once again with her hands, positioning herself between your legs, brows furrowed, gaze averted.

you bit down your lip as you watched her get on top of you, her necklace dangling over your head, her tits peeking out of her loose gray tank top, no bra underneath.

she rubs the tip against your hole, teasingly so. “shh.” jill demands as soon as you started making noise.

“fuck you’re so tight..” jill cussed, sliding her cock in as you let out a gasp. “all this fucking and stretching you out didn’t loosen you up? damn girl.” she grunts, surprised at her change of tone, she was fully bottomed out as she started thrusting inside of you, your hands were shaking as they placed themselves on her hips, fucking yourself into her, the tip kissing your cervix with every thrust.

“is that good, slut?” jill says, forcing your chin between her fingers. “i’m not a slut.” you argued, your voice strained as you were fucked out. sweat already breaking out from your forehead.

“sure you’re not… look at you swallowing that cock whole… always begging me to fuck you, always demanding and whining for it.” she fucks into you deeper, making you see stars as it shut you up completely.

“good girl, i like it when you keep that pretty mouth shut.” jill continues thrusting, the sound of your squelching was like music to her ears. “you belong to me don’t you?” she whispered to herself, going faster just to see how you’d react, seeing the way you pulsate against her cock, the way you rock your hips to match her pace with your moans strained and your legs aching.

“hhhhnnn… jill i’m so close.” you managed, your finger nails digging into her waist from underneath her shirt, then your hands grabbed at her breasts, which drove jill crazy to just get you to cum, her pace went faster and faster, her girlfriend’s mouth open, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure as you squeeze at her tits, your thumb circling her sensitive buds, making jill squirm inside of you as she forced your wrists away with her hands, pinning you down on the bed with one hand, the other taking each one of your ankles and throws it over her shoulders, making the strap go in so much deeper as you let out a choked gasp.

jill had to take a second and look at you like that, sweaty forehead, red cheeks, lips so red and pretty, the position was a little different from every other one you’ve both been in before by her.

but she took a mental note to do this again, legs on her shoulders, your eyes closed and your breathing uneven as she refuses to move inside of you. watching the way your breasts moved as you squirmed and whined underneath her, jill can’t resist you and she knows it, no matter how angry she became, how fucking stubborn she gets especially after a terrible day at work which is every other day, she has a beautiful girlfriend she can use however she pleases, you’re her pretty little thing, her whole world, she’d probably crumble if she came back home and didn’t find you there.

“look at me..” jill softly says, a drastic change from her tone earlier as your eyes fluttered open, staring into her blue ones.

“i love you.” jill whispers as she begins to move her hips forward and continues to thrust inside of you, the tip abusing your cervix as her words made this even more intense and overwhelming.

you eyes watered, recalling her words from just a few minutes ago, compared to this. you couldn’t focus as you got even more stretched out, crying out loud from how good it felt then from how much you feared like you were losing her and this was her last straw.

“shh..” jill whispered once more, her tongue flicking against her bottom lip as she let go of your hands, holding them in hers as she fucked into you so much faster than before, sending the bed rattling against the wall, creeking against the floor while your lips met in a hungry kiss, tongue and teeth clashed as you were chasing your high, sensation so overwhelming you whined into her mouth, jill’s hands grabbed yours as she led you through such an intense orgasm, you were terrified.

you screamed, moaned, writhed, unsure of the noise that came out of you when you gushed all that you have against jill’s cock.

jill noticed.. and she slowly pulled out, mumbling sweet words and kissing your forehead, cheeks, lips, she overstepped a line and she was willing to make it up to you.

“shh.. you did so good, such a good girl.” she mumbled, rubbing her thumb against your cheek as you were trying to get a hold of yourself.

“it’s alright sweetheart… you did good.” she whispers into your ear. “i’ll be back.. okay?” was all jill said as she climbed off the bed, taking off the strap that needed cleaning now, not that you’d notice from how much you were vibrating and overwhelmed.

jill came back a few moments later, a cloth to clean you up and some water to hydrate you.

she carefully sat next to you and helped you sit up with a kiss to your forehead. “i’ve got you.” she mumbled, grabbing the cloth in her rough hand, slowly holding it up your thighs as you were too sensitive, you closed your legs in on her.

“can’t..” you shook your head, keeping your knees together. “i have to clean you up baby..” jill murmured, taking a hold of your thigh once again, cleaning up the cum off it. wiping it all the way up to your sensitive core as you squirmed. “jill.. careful.”

“i’ve got you..” jill repeated, cleaning you gently, watching the way you were limb on the bed, you were breathtaking.

as soon as she finishes cleaning you up and putting you into new panties and clothes, giving you some water as you drank the whole bottle. “easy… it’s not going anywhere.” jill mumbled, climbing on the bed next to you, recalling how mean and disrespectful she was to you early on, making her heart twist into her chest.

she took you in her arms, your smaller frame fit so perfectly into her, you wrapped your arms around her as she kissed your forehead.

“i’m sorry… i didn’t mean what i said.” jill finally said, she can’t let you go on thinking this is how she thought of your relationship, she loves you so much.

“there’s no excuse for me to talk to you like that, not when you needed me. i’m sorry baby..” jill added while wrapping her arms around you tighter, securing you into her grip gently.

“it’s okay..” you sighed, she noticed how non verbal you get after such a loud and messy orgasm, she’s glad it’s not because you were mad at her or resentful of what she said. “it’s not.. i don’t want you to be mad at me though, i can’t take it.” jill whispered into your hair, brushing a hand over your belly.

“i’m not mad.” you finally said after a moment of silence. “no?” “no.”

jill sighed in relief and kissed the tip of your nose, making your eyes close as she pulled the blanket over both of you, hoping you’d get a good night's sleep. she still needed to do so much to make it up to you, you’re her angel.

you snuggled up to her, eyes closed and heavy with sleep. jill brushing your hair with her fingers, her face so close to yours as she watched every flutter of your lashes, every time you opened your mouth and closed it. she leaned in and kissed your lips, unable to get enough of you as you kissed her back, barely, you were probably half asleep.

“i’m not mad.” you reassured her softly, which was enough to make jill go through the night without some exaggerated grand gesture, both of you falling asleep in each other’s arms.

#jill valentine #jill valentine smut #jill valentine x female reader #jill valentine x you #jill valentine x reader #resident evil smut

[postersofleon]

notes: another from another. it has smut so no minors

death island leon is in acceptance. well, at least for now. he is lonely, but at least he is lonely with friends. he is hanging out with chris, claire, rebecca, and even jill. sure, he wants to have a partner, but like said before, he is accepting he will definitely struggle with love. then, he got a stupid crush.

crushes are for kids. he saw you. how you laughed. how your eyes shined brightly when you saw something you liked, but once he saw your partner in your arms. he cursed. of course! but he figured something out. he doesn't necessarily need romance to survive anyways so he became your friend. he was a bit of gentle friend with a smart mouth. everyone took notice how you laughed or giggled at everything he said. chris wanted to scold leon for flirting with a person who is already dating someone, but rebecca was like, "he isn't."

it was true. leon wasn't flirting with you. he was just being himself. leon saw you as his best friend, and so did you. when your partner noticed it was getting cold, leon already gave you his own jacket. leon needed to buy coffee, rebecca bought one for him you already bought him one. you two rock, paper, scissors to see who had to buy each other things. you bought him a sticker to put on his helmet.

everyone knew you two were falling in love. even your own partner. all but you two. so, when your partner broke up with you, you were shocked, to say the least. now, everyone was waiting for you two to start dating, but it was now kinda stupid. chris was now playing the waiting game while everyone stopped paying attention. everyone now thought you two were clingy friends, but chris knew better. every time you two alone, chris would 'accidentally' open the door but all he found was leon and you having a spa day.

you two weren't in denial like chris thought. you two enjoyed each other's company. he showed his scars from the job he has. you showed him how you cooked your favorite food. both of you were obviously falling in love with each other. you knew his fake smiles from his real ones. leon would rest his head on your shoulder.

chris was losing his mind.

but soon, after so many times opening doors, chris finally caught you two kissing. it was satisfying yet at the same time. it wasn't.

when you begin to date, you two still acted the same around each other and other people. leon would attempt to ruffle your hair, you would avoid it. he would say he is lost in your eyes. he completely forgot he used to have a crush on you because he fell in love with you in a different way.

chris now hates you two.

NSFW

leon goes off in missions. he gives you sex talk, what he would want to do with you. how he wished it was your mouth around his base. he would make the worst dirty jokes of you, but he would still be too in love to say a lot. he shows it. leon would kiss your chest repeatedly and jack off on your chest and face.

just like your horrible slow burn relationship, leon and you enjoy cockwarming. it's just a bunch playful sex, he wants to make you laugh while he gently pumps his cock in you. he recorded one time, and he claimed he wanted to do it again. he forgot. you though do have only pictures of him. his lips covered in arousal, his lazy eyes of wanting to please you. leon remarks how good he looks, but he is a bit too shy to see the photos again. he doesn't want to see himself, he wants to see you.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #death island leon

[d10nsaint]

HOTEL— Leon, Chris, Albert x fem! reader.

summary; They know that they should leave you alone— after all, they ended the relationship. And yet, they just cant get enough of you after the breakup.

Tags/ Warnings:Nsfw themes (no smut) Ex! boyfriend/Fiancé Leon, Chris, & Albert x fem! reader. Toxic relationship themes in Leon & Wesker’s part. RE6 Leon, RE5 Wesker, & pre-RE6 Chris. features a summary and a scenario for all characters!

LEON K.

LEON who comes to your door in the middle of the night. He swears he wont come back, that he’ll leave you alone.

You both know he’s lying.

After a particularly grueling mission, he just needs to be held—and who else could warm his heart & tell him that he’s safe other than his ex-girlfriend?

He was the one who broke things off. He was the one who said that you could’ve gotten hurt in the relationship—and no matter how much you pleaded, he walked out of the door without sparing a second thought. But now that same man is in front of your door, drunk, begging to be let in.

“Baby pleaseeeee let me in,” He was practically crying for you. “‘promise i’ll leave you ‘lone after tonight, I swear, baby, just for tonight, lemme treat you good.” His words were barely even making sense to you. He wanted to sleep with you? You couldnt let him drive back home because he’s shit-faced and if he died, it’d rain hell on your conscience.

“Come in, Leon.” You stepped to the side and let him stumble through the door. The moment he gained his composure he was hugging you as tightly as possible.

“I know I did you wrong baby, but please. Mission went shit. Need ya’, you always tell me how good I am —you make me feel so good, I just need you right now, just for one night, then i’ll be outta ye hair.”

You had every fucking right to push him out of the door.

Who did he think he is? Dumping you then coming back to you when he needs you?

And yet, you let him in.

You let him touch you, let him beg and plead for you to let him do this again. Because you loved him.

And when he came back for more, you let him in with open arms.

CHRIS R.

CHRIS who meets you accidentally. You both worked for the BSAA, and even though you worked in different departments, you two met each other at a company gathering at a bar.

The entire night is awkward touches and averted glances. The break-up was a mutual thing— Chris was married to his work and didn’t have time for you. simple. Even so, that didn’t mean that unsettled feelings weren’t in the air.

At the end of the night, you’re both wasted and end up sharing a taxi (courtesy of Jill, who sees the tension between you two) and somehow, He ends up at your house. More than once after that.

The taxi was filled with your giggles and the smell of liquor as you laughed at Chris while reminiscing about how your relationship used to be. This felt so normal— you, him having fun with lingering touches in places where friends don’t usually put their hands.

His hand was rubbing your upper thigh, sliding your dress up. You were sobering up by the minute, but you didnt want the moment to end.

No other man could satisfy you the way chris did—the way he knew when to be rough, what spots made you moan.

And you both knew what would’ve happened if you gave in to the pleasure—this would become a common occurrence.

But you loved Chis, so much.

You’d risk anything just to touch him again, and by the third time he came back to your house, you’re sure he would too.

ALBERT W.

ALBERT who comes back for you after years of radio silence.

The last time you saw him, it was before he left for the Spencer mansion. Afterwards, STARS just..disappeared. Nobody knew where the members went.

You tried to move on—knowing that you couldn’t be hung up on him forever, and lets face it, he was probably dead. Umbrella came crumbling down, and there was no trace of him.

Of course, until 2005.

Chris Redfield came to your door, talking about how your fiancé was still alive. Of course, your relationship hadn’t been the best—it was built on lust and thin walls of trust, but you’d be damned if you didn’t see the man again.

Chris also told you about uroboros, asking you if you’d known anything about Albert’s schemes.

A few months after your ‘talk’ with Chris, you’re home alone when a short (but assertive) knock hits your door.

Of course, you cautiously open the door.And who the hell do you see?

A fucking Huge man with sunglasses looking down at you.

“ There you are, dearheart.” Albert took a small step forward and put a hand on your cheek. His hands were fucking freezing, making you fully awake if you weren’t before.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You stepped away from the door as if scared (Which, you were, he was tall as shit.)

“Im just visiting my fiancé, is there a problem?” He stepped past you into the house. He took a glimpse around then slid his shoes off by the front door. You were fucking baffled.

“ Albert, what the fuck are you doing? Years of fucking silence from you and you just—appear? You waltz into my home thinking nothing had changed?!”

“Why’re you questioning something you know you wont get the answers to? It’s like trying to prevent the inevitable.” He seemed so nonchalant as he strolled into your house, observing where you’ve been living.

“It seems as if you’re taking good care of yourself. perfect.”

“what in the hell do you want, Albert?” You let out a deep sigh— if anybody found out that Albert was here, you’d be taken in for questioning and all of that shit— worse case arrested for letting him into your house.

“simple. I want you.”

#resident evil wesker #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil leon #leon kennedy x reader #leon resident evil #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #chris redfield smut #chris redfield #chris redfield x reader #albert wesker #albert wesker x reader #albert wesker smut

[kamiiri]

Once Buck shut the door, Buzz began to answer. “Buck won’t have full access to the facility at first. He will learn about the project in time, and he’ll hear it directly from me. He’s just not ready yet.”

Ripp couldn’t help but laugh. “Right. The project. And you think he’s just gonna be A-OK with keeping Jill locked up? He’s gonna hate you, man.”

“I believe that Buck will understand we sometimes need to make sacrifices for the greater good. I thought you were beginning to understand that as well. I guess I was wrong,” Buzz concluded. “Perhaps you need some time away from work to continue your training. You and I both know your combat skills could use some brushing up on anyway.”

All Ripp was hearing was that he wouldn’t be able to watch over Johnny’s family anymore. “No! No. Please, don’t do that. I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“No, it’s not. In fact, I don’t want to hear anything at all. I want to see some action, Ripp. Start doing better. I’m tired of having this conversation with you.” The man sighed, deep in thought, and then he looked back up at his son. Buzz was always shocked by how much Ripp’s eyes looked like his ex-wife’s. “Ripp...I just want what’s best for you. I want what’s best for all three of you. You get that, don’t you?”

Ripp pivoted toward the door and said, “Whatever.”

“And Ripp,” Buzz added. “Cut your damn hair, okay?”

Out of spite, Ripp thought to himself that he might never cut his hair again.

#strange2 #strangetown #general buzz grunt #ripp grunt #ts2 premades #sims 2 premades #sims premades #premade sims #ts4 story #sims 4 story #sims story #the sims 4 #sims #simblr #ts4 #the grunt family #buzz grunt

[juvenillia]

~ if you let me ~ John Price x fem!reader [fluff fic]

summary: John found himself in a completely new situation and confesses his needs without any doubts.

a/n: Just a cute little one shot between the angst/hurt we're going through with Death of Peace of Mind atm, I hope you enjoy. Thanks to my darling @ghostslillady who brought me the inspo for that one <3

cw/tw: suggestive content, slight smut (but only the slightes fr), jealousy, soft lover boy Price, fluff, confession, start of a relationship, petnames

worcount: 2.8k

》 Read on AO3 《 》Master Post《

This was all so new to John. He was used to hook up with a nice and pretty girl while on leave. Always searching company in a different bar, so he wouldn’t see the same girl again. Sharing some wonderful hours, drinking, laughing, and chasing their release. But this situation was indeed new to him. A one-night stand turned into two, and then he didn’t dare to leave in the morning and rather decided to wake you up with his mouth on you, the urge to taste you again was too carnal. What lead into a shared breakfast, what lead into traded numbers, before he left late on the third evening with a deep kiss, not daring to let go of you, but he had to go back to his duty.

This fateful one-night stand now turned into a friends-with-benefits kind of situation and is going on for merely six months. As soon as he had some time on base he’d call you, you’d send him pictures of things that reminded you of him. He’d send some worn shirts via mail and some flowers from time to time. You longed for him to get some time on leave again and feel his body wrapped around yours again. Late at night there was always a delicate picture of you in nothing more than a black lace pantie and one of his shirts attached to a short message. “Thinking only of you, Captain.”, which lead him to lock his office and call you instantly. You were so desperate for each other and still you respected the boundaries and duties of another.

It was nice and easy, all so casual. Both of you enjoyed the company and affection with no strings attached. Of course, no one of you saw someone else, to occupied with each other, but you didn’t label it yet. You didn’t have the time to have the deep talk right now. You just enjoyed each other, but all the time things weren’t meant to stay that easy. That’s how you found yourself seated surrounded with your two sisters. Once a month they would give their husbands the kids, so that the three of you could grab a coffee and catch up with out the screaming and running around from your nephews and nieces. You laughed and shared the latest gossip.

That’s when you received another message from John. Nothing more than a picture of a flower was seen on screen, but it was your favorite one. A smile tugged at your lips.  “Sweetheart…”, Isabelle, your older sister, said in a teasing tone. Your eyes darted back to hair while you put your phone back to the table, screen facing the wood. “Sorry. Where were we?”, you smiled and Isabelle and Caroline, your younger sister, exchanged knowing glances. “Real talk now. Who is he?”, Caro started. “Or she. We don’t discriminate.”, Isabelle added. You only blinked at them in confusing. “Excuse me?” – “Hun, you’re smiling like a madman at your screen. I didn’t even know you could smile like that.”, Isabelle said with a sweet voice while taking your hand and squeezing it. You blinked rapidly, the smile never falling out of your face.

“Since when you know?”, you didn’t even try to convince them otherwise. You knew they wouldn’t back down and you couldn’t deny that he indeed gave you butterflies with the smallest things. All the little messages, the little gifts. All so thoughtful, and somehow romantical. Something no one of your earlier partners managed to do. Not to mention how he worshipped you behind closed doors. “For five months. Especially when Mike saw you getting way too much take-out that one night, when you said you couldn’t look after Jim and Jill.”, Isabelle explained. You only laughed at this. Jim and Jill, your nephew and niece, twins, loved you like their own mother. Anytime Isabelle and Mike needed some couple time they would drop them at your place. “His name is John…”, both of your sisters instantly started gushing but you stopped them. “Please. It’s nothing official. Alright? We’re not even dating…” – “YET!”, Caro cried out excited. So, you spent the whole afternoon to talk about your not-boyfriend John Price, who was the sweetest guy ever. And you knew you had fallen for him. Since the moment he came back after your one night stand. A bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand, and some of the best pizza your town had to offer in the other. Two things you mentioned only the slightest as he invited you for a drink. His usual manner, but with you it was different. He memorized every little detail you told him that night and would keep going with it. You told your sisters everything about him and they were nearly as excited to get to know to him, as you were excited to see him again. After some time, you three bid your goodbyes, after you got once more reminded that the annual family gathering would be this weekend.

You went after your normal daily routines. Working your nine to five, doing the household, running errands and the usual stuff an adult had to do. There was a bitter radio silence with John, because of his deployment. It somehow made you feel uneasy, but you knew he’d be safe. Friday came and you overslept. That’s how you forgot your phone at home, and even your prepared lunch. Not even able to make your bed, you left your apartment in completely hurry. To your fortune you could leave work earlier that day. That way you could pick up a quick meal, just a small smoothie, on your way to the boutique where you picked a dress for the family gathering. When you got back to your apartment, something felt off. You couldn’t remember that you left the light on. Maybe you forgot about it when you rushed out this morning, but still something felt weird. Even weirder when you smelled something familiar. As you walked into the living room you cried out, when suddenly two strong and calloused hands got grip of your hips and pulled you around. “Surprise.”, a familiar deep voice was heard. You just looked at the beaming face of John and before you could even answer your hands pulled him down into a deep kiss. His hands squeezing your hips, while his lips turned into a bright smile. His beard tingling over your skin and both of you started giggling like little children. “That’s not what I left you the spare key for. It’s for emergencies, John.”, you said while he peppered kisses along your jawline, down your neck, while your head fell slightly back. “Love, that was an emergency. Needed to see you.”, he said between the kisses. His voice mixed with the little nibs sent shivers down your spine. “I’ve missed you.”, you breathed out and he hummed in approval. “Missed my girl as well.”, he said, while lifting you up like you weighted nothing. Your legs immediately wrapped around his torso while he carried you over to the couch. His mouth never stopping to kiss down your neck and suck at your soft skin.

“John.”, you moaned, and he lowered you beneath him. “I know. I know.”, he kept sucking onto your neck, and you could feel the sensation burning in your stomach. Just then you got reminded of something different. You gently pushed his shoulders away from you and he instantly stopped. Concern in his eyes, while he looked down at you. “What’s wrong, love?”, he pushed himself up to give you more space. You smiled at him and kissed him once more. Just quick before sitting up, and he sat next to you. “Please, don’t think I’m not happy to see you…but…”, his brows arched, and his hand found yours. “But?” – “It’s not the best time right now… my weekend is quite tight scheduled.” That’s when he looked confused at you. John knew that you had your own life, and that you shouldn’t need to drop every appointment just because he had some time off, some time he wanted to spend with you. Still, his heart hurt when he asked the following question. “Don’t tell me, you’re seeing someone else.” You only blinked in disbelief at him, instantly placing your hands on his cheeks. “No. No don’t think that. I could never.”, you assured him, and you could see how the panic vanished out of his eyes.

“Good. That’s good.”, he smiled relieved, while taking one of your hands in his and kissed every knuckle after another. “I can just wait here for you. It’s only fair when you’ve to wait all the time for me.”, his words brushed over your skin, and it made your heart jump. He was so understanding, so sweet. “But I won’t be coming home. I’m gonna spend the weekend with my family at the land house of my grandparents.”, you said quietly. A little ‘oh’ formed on his lips and he fell in his thoughts. And so did you. Too scared to ask him to come with you, but god you wanted to call your family to screw them. You wanted to spend the time with him. He wasn’t your boyfriend; you couldn’t just bring him with you. All the question he would have to endure. He slightly squeezed your hand. “What…what when I come with you?”, you immediately looked up at him. Your eyes filled with sheer surprise. “You sure you want that?”  He laughed at your concern and pulled you into his lap. Tracing lazy circles on your back. “It would make you happy, wouldn’t it?”, he said looking up to you and you nodded slowly. A reserved smile forming on his lips. You pressed your forehead against his and breathed a small “Thank you.” out, before you went to the bedroom to get your phone and call Isabelle. To make sure, it would be manageable.

Just like that John found himself surrounded by screaming little children, nonstop talking grandparents and sisters who couldn’t stop tugging at his elbow asking him the weirdest and filthiest questions. The annual Christmas evening with his team was easier than that. But anytime his eyes met your figure, just appreciating the view, glancing over the perfect fitted dress in the same dark royal green he adored on you so much, the same color all the shirts he sent you were. Not to mention the wonderful cut out cleavage that already made him drool when he first saw it on you this morning. And anytime he would meet your glance, a smile tugging at your lips, and he knew it was worth going through this.

“So how long are you dating?”, Caro asked him with a smile on her lips. “For about six months.”, he answered not even looking at her. His eyes were pinned on the way you playfully danced with you little nephew on your arms right now. He adored the view too much. The sheer thought that someday it might be your – his - own child you’d sway in your arms. It made his heart jump. “Interesting.”, she only said smug. That’s what caught his attention more. “Pardon?” – “Well, my sweetheart of sister said, that you aren’t dating. Just testing waters and stuff.”, she rose a brow playfully at him and he laughed. “Of course.”, he shook his head. He never told you, but he was obsessed with the thought of calling you his, and his alone. You awakened a longing in him, that he thought he never had. Growing from sexual pleasure to pure intimacy. Into something even more. You became the reason for him to return. You became the home to his soul. “Something else she told you?”, he asked sipping on his drink. “Don’t wanna push your ego, but that you’re the best one she ever had.” A wide smile tugging at his lips, not even his neat beard could cover now. “That’s reciprocity.” His smile even grew wider when you walked over to them. Jim on your arms, the boy clinging onto the hem of your dress. Isabelle, next to you with Jill in her arms.

John didn’t wait any second to sling an arm around your waist, not disturbing the peace of the little boy, but pulling you close in his side. A slight blush crawling around your cheeks. It was the first time he actual showed some PDA at the festive. It made your stomach flutter. “What were you talking about.”, Isabelle asked bluntly, while handing her daughter to Caro. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”, John smiled, and you rose a brow at him. Not believing a word he said.

Just then your mum, and grandma also joined the circle you just had formed. That’s when Jim once more confused you for his own mother. Tugging at one of your breasts and it made you giggle. You were used to the little boy trying to get your attention that way. Usually, his mother would feed him when he started that little act, already trying to tear the hem of your dress a bit downward. Something so innocent and natural for the little boy, wat didn’t go unnoticed by John. He couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. It wasn’t your kid; he shouldn’t behave like that around someone else than his own mother. So, he leaned down to the kid. "That one belongs to me kid, go back to your own mum's", and whispered to him. It made your giggle stop immediately and your cheeks were now burning from heat. When you hoped nobody heard it, you were wrong. Isabelle and Caroline just laughed wholehearted, while Isabelle took the boy out of your arms. Your hands immediately covering your face, while he pulled you closer in his side. Leaning down to your ear and whispering really low this time. “Am I wrong though, love?”, he kissed your cheek before leaning back again. “What did he just said?”, your grandma asked and now your mom joined the laughter of your sisters. “Nothing.” You cried out louder than necessary. John placed another peck onto the crown of your head, the winning smile never leaving his face. “John, move over here!.”, Mike yelled over, and he walked satisfied over to the patio, where Mike, your father and Caroline’s husband, Maxime where seated. Your mom just pushed her elbow in his side, “He’s a good catch. Hold on to him.”, you looked over, as he gladly accepted a cigar from your father. The blush was still on your cheeks, but a genuine smile was plastered on your lips. She was right.

It was quite late when John and you found a moment of peace with each other. Sitting on the patio, while your grandma was already deep asleep. Isabella and Mike already left with their children and Caro and Maxime dancing slowly a bit away, while your parents watched them, cuddled up at the swing hammock. John had his arms tightly wrapped around you, while you laid against his chest. Head leaning against him, his resting on top of yours, while you just enjoyed each other’s company. He then broke the silence, some thoughts he had to get out of his system. “Sorry, if I stepped a line.”, he breathed out calm, letting his hands stroke gently over your arms. “Don’t worry. Just seems like you’re stuck with the family already. Need to marry me now. No backing out from that one.”, you said jokingly. Remembering how much all your family already adored him. He indeed was the first guy you ever brought to such a gathering. He kissed the crown of your head. “If you let me, love.”, he said calm. There was no joking undertone, no smug grin on his face. That’s when you turned to face him, an utterly shocked expression on your face. It only made him giggle, before his pressed another kiss onto your forehead. A smile on his face. “Maybe we should start smaller than that, huh?” Your face relaxed when he let his lips brush over yours once more. Sensual, with all the love he had in him. “But I’m gonna make you mine. Be sure about that.”, he said while leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m already yours, John.” A bright smile never leaving your lips as you nodded, a smile he shared with no hesitation. Who said it wouldn’t be easy after all? With him at your side, everything became better and somehow easier.

#captain john price x reader #john price #john price x reader #john price fluff #captain price #captain john price #john price x you #john price x y/n #cod mw2 #john price x oc #price fluff #cod fanfic #cod fluff #cod mw x reader #cod x reader #task force 141 #captain johnathan price #cod mw fanfiction #cod mw price #cod price #cod price x reader #cod mwii #task force 141 x reader #task force 141 fluff #old fashioned #price x reader #price is a softie #price confesses #cod fic #cod fandom

[cryptictongues]

184 Days

pairing: Clive Rosfield x Flower!Reader Series rating: Mature (angst; tw listed below) word count: 13.6K summary: You have a hard time grieving after Clive's passing, even when you didn't need to grieve at all.

warnings:  reader-insert (sorry lol), angst, hurt/comfort, reunions, grief/mourning, slight suicidal ideation, slight self-harm, depression, panic attacks, happy ending (yay!) - this is part of the Flower!Reader series! You don't need to have read the other two but there are references to them if that interests you.

Spoilers: This is post-game stuff. If you haven't played the game, beware.

TW's: This fic contains major themes of grief, so it is heavy. There is minor suicidal ideation and self-harm, not graphic in nature, but it is there. Depression and panic attacks are more common in this fic. If these topics don't sit right with you, please be cautious when reading. You may also reach out if you want to know specifics if you are worried!

Songs: I just want to share that I was constantly listening to When the Sun Hits by Slowdive, Thick Skull by Paramore, and Wicked Games by Chris Isaak.

LASTLY, I am sharing this on my birthday! My birthday gift to you all <3

[AO3 link]

Day 1

The Hideaway is full of people. People from all over Valisthea arrive in droves, coming to grant supplies, donate gil, and help around the Hideaway because today is the day; the day everyone here sends off Dion, Joshua, and Clive for their leave to Origin.

You are working overtime, helping with the final preparations before they take off. The biggest reason, however, for the hard work is the ever creeping anxiety filling your body as the time ticks closer to Clive’s departure; from his friends and family, and from you. This day has been a long time coming, yet now that it’s here you can barely stomach the thought of him leaving. With that thought lingering, every moment together has been even more precious than the next. 

Every moment of free time has been spent together. With today being the day of departure, your last moments together were last night. You both made love all night, and in between sessions would talk about what you two will do once he comes back; creating the life of your dreams together. Yet, in the back of your mind, all you could think was those thoughts were just that: dreams. You don’t know what will happen during Clive’s mission. But it’s fun to play pretend, and to envision what life could have in store for the two of you. 

The sun was in its golden state before its colors showed, telling you it’s almost time. You see everyone gathering on the main deck, Clive and co included, talking with one another as they say their farewells and safe travels. You start your way there, walking slowly as if it would prevent the inevitable. You know the moment you reach Clive, it would only be a matter of minutes before he is no longer within your grasp.

You see Clive talking to Jill, bringing her in for a tight hug as he continues. You see a shake in her shoulders, telling you she feels the same way you do. Just as hard as it is to wish your lover away, it must be just as hard to watch the man who has become a brother figure leave. They grew up together, after all.

You give a farewell to Prince Dion and Joshua once on the deck, giving Dion a firm handshake and a bow, while Joshua brings you in for a hug. You didn’t know Dion for long, but Joshua is a different story. Getting to know your lover’s brother has brought you closer to the both of them. Seeing how happy Clive was with Joshua around made your heart swell. You wonder if Joshua ever felt the same about you two. 

Joshua let’s go of you, a melancholy smile drawn on his face. “Thank you, _____. Thank you for taking care of my brother.” 

You shake your head. “No, thank you for finding each other again. I will be praying for the three of you to safely return to us.”

“I appreciate that, my lady.” Joshua thanks, yet his eyes shift, and he nods. “Here he comes.”

You turn to see Clive approaching you, and you already feel your chest growing tight and eyes water. He is standing before you, looking as beautiful as he always has, but with a sorrowful look that says everything you feel. It’s unfair, really. It devastates you that he is the one to stop all the madness, when in a perfect world he would stay. You keep telling yourself this isn’t the end, yet your gut keeps telling you otherwise. 

“____.”

“Would it be selfish of me to ask you to stay? To ask to let the world go to hell?”

Clive smiles, solemnly chuckling at your suggestions. “Never.”

You reach for his left hand with both hands, holding it as you rub your thumbs into his palm. “I know it would be futile, all the same.” You utter. “There would be no life worth living for anyone. I just wish things could be different.”

“I am doing this for a better future for everyone. It is what the world deserves.” Clive’s other hand covers your hands in full. “I must do this, so you and I can live the future we’ve always talked about.”

“I wish I could take your place, so I could guarantee your safety.” You choke out, the waterworks starting. 

Clive is quick to react, pulling you into him as you sob softly into his chest. “Knowing you will be safe here will be reason enough for me to make it back to you.” Your hands squeeze his sides, his statement making you want to sob harder. Clive pulls back, taking one hand to lift your head to get a good look at you. “I promise I will be back. Wait for me.”

You nod frantically, sniffling as you take deep breaths to calm down. Clive’s forehead leans against yours, his thumb brushing continuous strokes on your cheek, before pressing a gentle kiss against your lips. You accept his kiss, giving it your all knowing the outcome is unknown. Both of your lips linger, not wanting to pull away because once one of you does, he will be on his way. 

Clive pulls away slightly, his lips still lingering near your own. “I love you, ____.”

“I love you too.” You whisper, placing one more kiss to his lips before pulling away. “I have something for you.”

You reach into the pouch you keep attached to your corset belt and pull out a lily. You thread the stem in between the crease of his corset and tunic, the tightness of his uniform keeping the flower in place. You brush his chest, stalling him a little longer before you accept it is time. “Lily represents reunion. With this flower, you shall come back to me.”

Clive sucks in a breath, releasing with a shutter as if he was on the verge of tears. “I will, no matter what.” 

You feel a hand on your shoulder, and you turn to see Jill still sniffling with watery eyes. She smiles at you before looking at Clive. “We will take care of each other.”

You feel something rub against your thigh and look to see Torgal rubbing his head on you. You smile, rubbing behind his ears. “Torgal will look out for us too.” 

Clive hums, appreciating the sight before him. “This is farewell for now. Till then, we have a god to kill.”

Everyone has now formed a semi-circle around the three dominants about to depart, watching as they walk towards the end of the deck. They pick up their pace, all of them running until they are no longer in sight. A bright light goes off and the next thing everyone sees is Bahamut carrying Clive and Joshua towards an event that will shape the world. 

-

You are sitting on the main deck, legs dangling off the side as you continue to stare off into the horizon. You haven’t left since Clive left, the golden hour long gone and twilight having come and gone, dusk now settling in the sky. It feels like it has been hours since his departure, when in reality it has only been a few. You wonder if they have made it to Origin yet, if the battle has started, if Ultima has been defeated… if they have met their maker for good. That thought makes you shiver. 

You hear footsteps coming from behind you before a presence sits right beside you. You don’t look, but the aura alone tells you it’s Jill and you smile slightly. She puts an arm around you, pulling you into her as you both continue to look into the distance, like they would be back any second. She twists your hair, which comforts you in a way, and you hum. It is silent for a while, watching the sky continue to grow darker and darker until the sky is black with its pearls. 

“Have you prayed to Metia today?” You break the silence with a question. Jill’s fixation that Metia answers prayers is comforting in these moments, especially when every prayer she has spoken through her heart has come true.

She shakes her head. “I haven’t, but only because I wanted you to join me. Our hearts combined will help, no doubt.”

You nod your head, and you both move into a position that faces Metia herself, kneeling before her with hands clasped together. You bow your head, and say your prayer in your head, letting your heart translate it in a way that only Metia understands. You pray for everyone’s safe return with little to no injury. You pray they come back healthy and happy. You pray for the dawn of a new age where you and Clive help build a world you two can grow old in. You pray for everything to be okay. You raise your head as you finish, and you admit that some weight has been lifted off your chest, but an uneasiness still sticks. You turn your head to see Jill finishing her own prayer, and she looks towards you with her hand reaching for yours. You give her your right hand and she grips it with a smile. “Metia has listened to our prayers. Now, we wait.”

“Jill, your faith that everything will be okay is admirable. I wish I had your confidence.” You confess, the sour feeling remaining deep in your body. 

“For the longest time, I thought Clive was long dead. I believed that Metia hadn’t listened. And next thing I know, there he is. Granted, it was years later.” She squeezes your hand, and turns so your knees are touching hers. “That’s why I have faith that they will return to us.”

“Maybe your faith will rub off on me, and not the other way around with my worries.” You chuckle, trying to make light of the night. 

“No matter what happens,” Jill reassures, “I will be here for you. We will be here for each other.”

You nod, and bring her in for a hug, squeezing her tightly which she returns. “Thank you, Jill. For everything.”

You both stay there for a minute, until next thing you know you hear running on the deck. You pull away to see Gav running towards you two, panic clear on his face. “Ah fuck,” he breathes in and out as he approaches. “Edda is in labor. All hands on deck.”

You and Jill gasp in unison, both jumping up to run to the infirmary to help bring new life into this world. And hopefully, a new one.

Day 2

“Alright, one more push, Edda.” 

You are sitting behind Edda, letting her use your hands for her death grip as she continuously pushes and wails out in pain. You, Jill, and Mid are giving her words of encouragement as she continues her labor, and after one final push Tarja fully delivers the baby. A cry echoes throughout the room and the atmosphere is full of happiness and relief. 

“Can I come in yet?” You hear Gav yell from the other side of the door.

“She just gave birth, Gav. Give us a minute.” Tarja yells, eyes rolling hard at Gav’s common sense.

“He’s just excited,” Jill chimes in. “As we all are.”

“Congratulations, Edda! It’s a boy!” Tarja finishes cleaning off the baby, kneeling beside Edda as she passes him off to her. You watch Edda admire her baby boy for the first time, her smile brightening up the room as she talks to him. 

Seeing them interact stirs you with an emotion you wish to experience directly. You and Clive have talked about having children, making it clear you two wouldn’t have any until the world has been set straight. But you two would talk about what it would be like to have a little you or a little him running around or both. You imagine cradling a little boy in your arms, giggling as you shower him with kisses. You imagine Clive holding a little girl, swaying her around while singing a melody. Two giggly children to call your own with the man you have fallen madly in love with. You feel as if your heart could burst from the thought. 

“_____, can you go up to the rear stacks to grab more towels off the lines?” Mid asks, taking you out of your sappy daydreams. You snap out of it, humming in the affirmative before moving away from Edda and heading to the door. You could barely get out the door before almost being trampled by Gav, running in like a mad man. “Let me see! Let me see!”

You chuckle to yourself, exiting the room and heading to the linen lines. Even when things seem dark, you can’t help but keep smiling at everyone’s high spirits tonight. You suppose new life being brought into the world will do that to people because it sure as hell is doing that for you. It’s a good distraction, and you accept it with open arms.

You grab some towels from the line, cradling them in your arms securely as you make your descent to the main deck and up the stairs to the infirmary. You reach the infirmary doors when you are once again almost hit by a body, except this time it was Jill. One quick look at her made it apparent she was crying. She doesn’t spare you a glance as she runs down the stairs, sobs fading as she goes further down. You turn to the open door, shock clear on your face. “What happened?”

Gav and Mid look at you like they don’t know what to say. You look at Gav, tears streaming down his face, and it’s like everything hits you all at once. Towels drop from your arms, your arms no longer working as your body starts to erupt. “No,” you shudder. “No.” You kept repeating yourself, not quite believing what’s happening. No words spoken, and yet everyone is saying your worst nightmare out loud. 

You could see Gav wanted to say something, but before a word could break the glass box you were building around yourself, you ran. You ran right out the door, and ran as fast as you could to Clive’s chambers. You slam the door shut, starting to pace back and forth with your fists yanking your hair. You turn to the balcony doors, and run to them, slamming them wide open before looking out into the distance. You see the moon, as bright and big as ever, yet Metia no longer shines in its vibrancy. You hear a howl and see Torgal and Jill, Jill’s head tilted down as her body continues to shake. Jill’s connection with Metia was enough to tell you that something terrible has happened: Clive is dead.

You back away from the door, utter disbelief and pain seeping into your lungs. He promised. He promised he would return to me. Your mind keeps reeling, and next thing you know you find yourself in Clive’s bed, wrapping yourself in his covers tightly to encapsulate his lingering scent. Sobs devastate your body, almost to the point of not being able to breathe. But you embraced it, for you wish you could stop breathing all together in this moment. 

You fall asleep with choked up airways and puffy eyes, dreams full of a future that’s no longer possible. You dream of him and him alone. You fall asleep in the dead of night, missing the sun greet Valisthea into a new era.

Day 5

Clive would’ve thought he was dead if it weren’t for the loud thumping in his head. He slowly comes to, the first thing he sees being light. It takes him a few seconds to adjust, his eyes working overtime against the strain. He feels sand, and hears the sound of waves. He goes to move his fingers when he notices he can’t move the ones on his left hand. He brings his left arm to his view and sees his hand is completely petrified. He couldn’t see the rest of his arm, but could feel the lack of blood and flesh ending right above his elbow. He pushes himself up with his good arm, hunching over in his spot as he breathes the salty air deeply.

Origin. He had defeated Ultima. The crystal in the sky was destroyed and now he finds himself here on this beach. Based on his surroundings, he concludes he is on the coast of Storm, even though the dark coast was no longer dark, but bright. It could have easily been mistaken for a coastline off of Valisthea, but behind him were still the dead brush of the continent. 

He wonders how long he’s been out for. He vaguely remembers waking up, but not long enough to recollect anything. He reaches up to his face to touch his facial hair, feeling the scruff that has grown out slightly. A few days, he thinks. It was a mere few days ago when he left the Hideaway with Dion and his brother, and now he is the only one left. It burns him up inside knowing he couldn’t save them, and the fact he watched his brother die not once, but twice weighs heavy on his heart. Especially because if Ultima hadn’t chosen him as his vessel, he most likely would have become the Phoenix and Joshua would be alive and safe. He couldn’t be sure, of course, but alas.

Clive knows it does no good to think this way. Just like he would have done anything to save Joshua, he knows just as well Joshua would’ve done everything to save him. He knew Joshua would want him to help bring Valisthea and Storm into a new age. And most importantly, he knew Joshua wanted him to be happy, and deserved as much. I cannot delve into what was, but what can. And what he can focus on is the future, especially one with you. 

Clive suddenly remembers the lily you had given him, and scrambles to retrieve it from his pant pouch with some difficulty due to one available hand. He felt its petals, still smooth and soft, and pulled it out to see it still looked brand new. He lets out a stuttered breath, eyes watering slightly. He almost couldn’t believe that after everything it had managed to stay in one piece, but he knew it was because you had blessed him with it. You had grown it, cared for it, and plucked it for him, and it was his turn to care for it. Just as well, it was time to keep his promise: to come back to you. He has been away for too long, and he must make haste now.

Clive sighs and slowly starts to stand up, gathering his bearings so as to not get too dizzy.  He stands still for a moment, breathing in deeply once more to ensure he won’t collapse before assessing his situation. He will need a boat. He thinks he could find a port somewhere, and worse comes to worse he travels to Waloed to get one there. He will need to eat something to gain some semblance of energy to do said travel. The biggest obstacle for him will be his arm, a heavy weight on his body that doesn’t help his fatigue. He will have to find something to make it more manageable until he can get back to the Hideaway.

He starts to walk up the beach towards the woods; body heavy from his wet clothes, stone arm, and tired eyes. But he will move forward, for you are waiting back home for him and his safe return. No matter the cost, he will make it home to you. 

“Darling, wait for me. I’m coming home.”

Day 14

It has been two weeks since the end of Origin, and to say you haven’t been grieving well is an understatement. You have a hard time getting out of bed these days, and your motivation to do anything is abysmal. You know your numbness is unsettling to other Hideaway members, many not knowing what to say when they see you. It’s like they saw you change overnight; your happy, go lucky self now tainted with expressionless reactions.

Gav has officially transitioned as the new Cid, but has yet to move into what will be his new room. He only comes in to do some paperwork, and read his latest messages. Oftentimes he will come to you, asking if he can get you anything, and he gets the same response from you every time: a subtle shake of your head. You are grateful that he lets you stay here as the smell of Clive’s sheets is the only thing keeping you from breaking all together. 

You had forced yourself out of bed today to go to the Backyard. You sat beside the flower bed, staring at the flowers hoping for something to happen. Flowers were your comfort for a long time, and now it is like they have no effect at all. You look at the lilies that are off to the side, and all you can do is scoff. Reunion my foot. 

You hear footsteps and paws coming down the stairs. You know it is Torgal and Jill, especially when Torgal has been stuck to Jill’s side for the last two weeks. You can’t blame him. You wouldn’t want to be around you either. 

“You came to pay the flowers a visit. They’ve missed you.” 

“They aren’t very good at showing it.” You shrug. You have been here for a few hours, and your mood hasn’t changed. You feel empty.

“Hortense is holding a sewing class for some new arrivals. You should come and say hi.” Jill says gently, not wanting to make your mood shift further south. 

Deep down, you know you’ve let Jill down. You had promised to be there for her like she had with you, yet your own self pity refuses to acknowledge your lack of empathy. The demon residing in your brain just tells you that no one understands. It doesn’t matter if everyone is grieving about the three’s passing; your happy ending relied on your lover coming back to you. Everyone else can move on, keeping him in their memory. You can’t because a part of you is now dead with him. 

You move to stand up, not wanting to bring her down with you. “They won’t want to see me. I’ll just make a fool out of myself.”

You move to head upstairs when Torgal blocks your walking route, and Jill gets in front of you. She grabs your shoulders, looking at you intently. You can see she is trying hard not to break in front of you, making that deep part of you scream to get over yourself. “Please, _____. You are an important asset to the Hideaway; the Jack of all Trades. I know they would love to meet you. The more kind people like you they meet, the more comfortable they will be here.”

Even since the end of Origin, new arrivals have continued to come in, many wanting to help with the cause. Even though bearers no longer have the power of magicks, it has led to more violence against those with the mark. This has led to everyone working more tirelessly to make strides for a future with new hope reinstated. You have yet to meet many of them, the motivation to do so never in your favor. 

“Clive would want you to continue his legacy.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to scream how his legacy has taken him away from you. You know your way of thinking is irrational, but the rational part of you is a mountain ready to avalanche. With the last bit you have, you take a deep breath, knowing she is right. He would want you to continue living, even without him. 

“Okay,” you nod. “I’ll meet them. I can’t promise I’ll come off as kind. Even if I wanted to, I don’t have the strength.”

Jill smiles, brushing hair from your face. “All I ask is that you try. We miss you.”

You three ascend the stairs, Jill locking arms with you as if you’d run away. You make it to the main deck, seeing Hortense and a few new faces sitting in a circle. Hortense waves, signaling you three to join in. “_____, it is so good for you to join us!”

“It’s, um, great to be here.” You say, trying to come off as happy. 

You, Jill, and Torgal join the circle, quick introductions being passed around before Hortense starts her lesson. She is doing a lesson on basic sewing techniques using cross-stitching circles, showing everyone different patterns, styles, and methods for different types of fabrics. One of the new arrivals, Greta you remember her name being, was looking at your stitching constantly. You turn to look at her, and she quickly turns away. You look at her work, and you can tell she is struggling a little bit. 

“Hey,” you say slightly above a whisper. “Try this.”

You show her a trick when it comes to tightening the thread, making it so it won’t want to fall apart. “Okay, now you try.”

Greta follows your method to a T, going slowly as she does it from memory. She smiles, seeing how well it worked. “That’s genius! Thank you so much!”

You nod, going back to your own work with a subtle smile on your face. You remember when you first learned how to sew, and how difficult it was for you. You remember when you had to learn on your own, Hortense having too much on her plate. You forgot how good it was to help others, and even if this feeling is for a moment, you feel lighter. You face Jill to see her glancing at you, a grin on her face as she continues messing with her circle of fabric. You know she is punching the air in success in her mind right now.

The session lasts for roughly an hour, and Hortense puts it to a close. “I’ll hold another class next week. Feel free to practice in the meantime.”

‘Yes ma'am’ is said in unison, and everyone departs to get ready for supper. You and Jill stay behind, helping Hortense put stuff away and create small chatter. As you all finish up, you pull Jill aside, feeling the need to say something. “Jill, I want to thank you. But most importantly, I want to apologize for not being there for you as well. I promise to do better by you.”

“Oh, _____,” Jill coos, bringing you in for a hug. “It’s okay. I understand your pain. We will get through this.” 

You two continue like this, and all you can think is maybe this is a new start. Maybe you can start grieving in a better way than you have been. You know it won’t happen overnight, but after days of feeling like you’ve been dragged into a hole, you sense you can see the light. 

Someone is yelling from afar, and you pull back to see a woman walking quickly to Hortense, a basket of what looks to be freshly clean linens in her hands. You and Jill walk over to see the commotion, only to see another new face. Hortense motions you two over, grinning from ear to ear with the woman beside her. “Ah, _____! I don’t think the two of you have met. This is Willow. She’s been helping me a lot with many of the laundry duties.” 

“Oh Lady _____, it is so lovely to meet you.” Willow says, bowing her head slightly. “Also, lovely to see you again Lady Jill.”

You bow slightly, not used to such formalities towards yourself. Jill chimes in, glee in her tone. “You as well. Thank you for helping Hortense during this time. I know she surely appreciates it.”

“Of course!” Willow chirps. “I was coming over here to tell her the linens for the beds are done. Lady ____, I was able to clean your sheets as well so you will have a freshly made bed for tonight.”

You stop breathing, your ears deceiving you. “W-what?”

Willow was still smiling, not catching on to the atmospheric shift. “Your sheets! Hortense got me to get all the bed linens for a wash, but I went ahead and had your bed made as a good gesture.” 

Your heart is hammering in your chest, and your vision is starting to blur. She cleaned the sheets. She cleaned Clives sheets. Not yours, but Clives. The one thing you had left of him, the one thing that still smelled like him, the one thing that made it feel like he wasn’t completely gone from the world, vanishing right before your eyes. You are starting to breathe hard, everything around you is no longer real. It is just you being thrown back into your suffocating glass box, and being thrown back into that dreaded hole. You can hear voices, but can’t distinguish what is being said. It’s when you feel a hand on your shoulder that the glass shatters, leaving you bloody in the dark, dank hole. 

You collapse, the flood gates opening with shrieks and agonizing sobs. You are hitting the wood, small splinters digging into your fist as you continue. You didn’t care because no pain was more painful than what you are feeling right now. You hear running, and more commotion in the background.

“There is nothing to see here, take your leave.” It’s Gav. It fucking Gav.

“_____, please get up. What happened?” 

“This is my fault.” Hortense says mortified. “I didn’t tell Willow that room was off limits.”

Your breathing is now rapid, sucking air and pushing it out because it isn’t enough. Arms wrap around you and you thrash around, yelling and screaming to let you go. “Get the fuck off of me!”

Gav has you upright and the rage you are now feeling bubbles out, turning into hitting his chest. “You are the only other person that goes in there, and you didn’t notice the fucking sheets were gone?! How could you let this happen?!”

“Please, _____. I just got back from Lostwing. I haven’t been there since early this morning.” Gav reasons, getting a grip on you with your arms secure so you wouldn’t do something you regret. 

“That was all I had left of him.” You wail. “All I had was his scent and now it’s gone! It’s all fucking gone! He’s gone!” 

“I got her from here. You three go have dinner.” Gav picks you up bridal style, walking up the main deck stairs. You are still crying, and your vision is blurry but you can still make out what is behind you. Willow is hugging Hortense, both visibly upset. But then you see Jill, who is standing there looking at the ground, none moving. Torgal is nudging her, but she won’t budge. 

I’m sorry, Jill. I broke my promise.

Day 31

One month. It has been one month since Clive’s death, and you are no longer alive; a living corpse that lays in bed for days and days on end. You only get up to use the privy chambers, but other than that you lay there. Nothing is enjoyable anymore. The idea of going to the Backyard, to the Shelves, or even the Ale House is unappealing. Gav usually brings you food, sometimes Jill, but you barely touch it. You eat a little, but your appetite is non-existent; you eat only when your stomach tells you to. 

People don’t visit you like they did. Sometimes Jill, Tarja, and even Jote would come in for a short time. They would try talking to you, they would rub your side to bring comfort, they would brush your hair, yet you wouldn’t react. Those visits have slowly dissipated, and you can’t blame them. 

You hate what Clive’s passing has turned you into. You never thought grief would transform you so poorly. Grief isn’t new to you, just as it isn’t new for most people in the realm. You grieved when your parents passed, you grieved when Hideaway members didn’t return from missions, you grieved when Titan and his Dhalmekian goons killed so many innocent people in the Old Hideaway. But Clive is your one true love; the one man that was able to intertwine his soul with yours. They say once the soul has been torn into two, it never fully recovers. 

You get up from the bed with all the strength you can muster. As you stand, you face the mirror from across the room, and what you see makes you shutter. You walk over slowly, not quite believing that it is you in the reflection. Your fingertips drag along the cool surface, slightly dissociating in the process. What was once full and bright features were now hollowed from lack of sleep, crying, lack of appetite, and the grief that’s swallowing you.

“By the Founder, I look dreadful.” 

You want to heal. You want to get better. Your soul is waiting for your shell of a body to hatch, so it may continue to live. But how can you do that in a place where everywhere you look, you see him? Every corner of the Hideaway is covered with Clive’s aspirations, dreams, and ideas. If you want to move on, to grieve healthily, you can’t stay here. You need to be somewhere that takes you back to a time before Clive.

The moon shines brightly in the room, giving you enough light to maneuver around. You pack a small bag of your belongings, only with things that would benefit your travels, and dress yourself in clothes to protect you from the elements. Once situated, you walk over to what was once Clive’s desk and sit down. You grab the quill and a scroll, and look at the blank paper. Your eyes start to water, knowing this decision will ruffle some feathers, and will create a form of worry you won’t be here to satiate. You think about getting back into bed and forgetting about what you are about to do, but you know this is a must. You are holding everyone in the Hideaway back, and you can’t support the cause if you aren’t getting better. 

You must do this, so therefore you write. 

-

“What do you mean she left?” Jill raises her voice, the shock clear in her tone. 

Gav had come into Clive’s old chambers to send some letters out to town leaders when he saw the bed was empty and made, with a scroll lying on top of the pillow. When Gav opened it, and read the words on the page, he immediately called for an urgent meeting with the main Hideaway members. 

“She left this on the bed.” Gav states solemnly, passing it to Otto who is on his right. “Long story short, she doesn’t want to be found. She didn’t give a direct location to where she was heading. All she said is she will send word when she is ready to communicate.”

“She isn’t in the right state of mind to go out by herself!” Tarja says with irritation. “What is she thinking?!”

“How would she have even left? We only have one boat, no?” Tomes questions.

“We have a second boat in case the one Obolus uses is in need of repair.” Otto mutters, looking at the scroll a tad longer before passing it off to the next person. 

Jill stands up from her seat, huffing as she turns to take her leave. Gav stands with her, already reading her mind. “Where the bloody fuck you think you’re going?!

“Rather than us wasting our breath, I’m going to go find her!” Jill shouts, frustration built into her face. 

Tarja stands up quickly to grab Jill’s arm. “Now wait a damn second. We need a plan before we start going out willy nilly.”

“As you said, she isn’t in the right mindset to be out by herself. She could be dead in a ditch for all we know.” Jill seethes, pissed that nobody seems to be as fearful for her friend as she is. 

“She is strong, Jill.” 

Everyone turns to Jote, who is never one to chime in unless need be. She is holding the scroll, looking at it as she speaks. “I don’t know her as well as you all may, but from what I do know she is very resilient. She wouldn’t leave unless necessary, and this letter proves as much.”

Everyone is quiet, thinking caps on as they process Jote’s words. The first words spoken after the pregnant silence is Otto, turning to Gav seriously. “Gav, you are the leader of the Hideaway now. It is your call.”

Gav ponders for a moment, a bit torn of what action is best to take. You are family and he wants to know you are safe. He also doesn’t want to get in the way of what you need to do to get better. He fears sending Hideaway members out to find you will make things worse. 

“I think,” Gav pauses, sighing in the process. “I will alert town leaders around Valisthea to keep their eyes peeled for her. If she doesn’t want to be bothered, we shouldn’t intrude. Getting a location on her though would be beneficial for us to ensure she is at least safe.”

“Gav is right,” Otto agrees. “She will need to go into towns for essentials and will probably pass through a few.”

“If we don’t hear anything within a month's time, we will start sending out some search parties, but as I said we cannot bother her if we find her. We have to hope she will reach out to us when she is ready.” Gav continues, giving everyone a once over to see if his words are reciprocated.

Agreements are shared, some more hesitant than others, before Gav dismisses everyone to their daily duties. When the last person leaves, Gav collapses into his seat, taking deep breaths as he runs his hands over his face. 

“May Greagor be with you, _____.” Gav whispers to himself.

Day 40

You can’t sleep, constantly shifting under the covers with no sense of relief. You feel hot, which is abnormal for this cool night. You start to burn up, skin flaring until it starts to burn. You sit up, panicking as you throw the covers off of you before you freeze, breath caught in your throat. In the moonlight, there is a figure sitting across the room from you, head bowed down with arms in their lap. You panic in silence, not knowing whether to fight or flight.

“You’re awake.” That voice. You know that voice all too well. 

“C-Clive?” You stutter, not trusting your voice to break the quiet. 

Silence suffocates the room. You wait for a response, but he just sits there. You move off the bed and walk towards him slowly, feeling off about what you are experiencing. He’s dead. Metia’s star went out. This can’t be real.

You are standing in front of him now, your bare toes touching his boots. He still doesn’t move, so you move your hands to his head, messing with the strands of hair from his head. “Clive, is it really you?” 

“You left.” You pause, his tone off. Is he not happy to see me?  

“Clive, I thought you were dead. We all did.”

“And yet, you still left.” He growls, finally moving his hands to grip your waist tightly, on the verge of pain. “You promised to wait for me. You broke that promise.”

“Clive,” you choke. “I’m sorry I-”

“You broke your promise to Jill.”

“I didn’t mean to!” 

“You abandoned the Hideaway, my legacy, like it was nothing!”

“Clive, you’re hurting me.” You are crying now. His fingers are digging into your side hard, and you look to see he is shaking with anger. 

“This is nothing in comparison to how you have hurt me!” He yells, and he lifts his head, causing you to gasp. His eyes are orange, glowing bolder and bolder the more worked up he got. You try to pry his grip off of you, but to no avail. 

“Please, Clive!” You cry harder. “I love you, I'm sorry for leaving! I should have stayed!”

“You are too late, _____.” He seethes. 

“Because I don’t love you anymore.”

You shoot up from your bed, screaming in a cold sweat. You look around the room like a mad woman, trying to gauge your surroundings. A wave of nausea overcomes you and you fall to the floor, vomiting from the absolute madness that occurred in your head. You dry heave on the floor, waiting for the next course of nausea to arrive but it never came. You sat up so your back was against the bed, relieved you weren’t going to be sick again, yet frustrated all the same.

You arrived in Dhalmekia four days ago. Originally, you set out to find your childhood home where you grew up with your parents, but when you arrived at the village off to the left of the Northern Velkroy, it had all but been abandoned. Your home, that was left with memories of your old life, ravaged from what you could assume to be bandits. So you kept going, hitchhiking a few rides before traveling on foot. That is when you found a small, two room cottage down in the Fields of Corava, a place you weren’t aware of, having never been south of Dalimil. There was minimal damage; a broken window and some chipped flooring. It was a better place to stay for the time being.

Ever since arriving, however, your mind has conjured terrible dreams with it being the same every time. It was always you and Clive in this room with him degrading your worth. The first night didn’t feel real, knowing that Clive would never act as such with you. But tonight, after having it for the fourth time in a row, your heart is waning.

You stare at the chair you saw Clive in, an increasing amount of anguish washing over you as you look. He’s gone. Your fingers dig into your thighs, trying to ground yourself. He’s gone. You start to choke on air, not wanting the cries of grief released from your lungs. He’s gone.

He’s gone.

He’s gone.

He’s fucking gone!

The shell cracks, the quiet night becomes piercing as you scream. You shoot up to the chair, taking it and bashing it into the floor. You keep screaming, the splinters from the chair and the floor growing with each smack. No matter the ache your body is having, the adrenaline rushing through your it has given your grief new purpose; a cathartic event that is shaping your mentality.

The chair is nothing but wood; the bare bones of it. You get up to open the door, chucking the wood outside the door with rage. The splintered wood digs into your hands, your emotional distress covering any semblance of physical pain. Your screams have turned into wails, angry tears dripping from your face to the floor. 

This rage inside of you stirred by grief makes you feel like you're dying. If anyone told you that Clive’s death would make you transform into the living dead, you’d laugh. How could anyone make you feel dead when you were the cheerful jack of the Hideaway? 

The wood is now dispersed all across the field before you, bathing in the pure light of the moon. You sink into the cottage where the dark swallows you, slamming the door shut and sliding down it as your body continues its assault. Your bloody hands grip at your hair as you rock back and forth, chanting the same two words over and over.

He’s gone.

Day 70

The atmosphere at the Hideaway was the same like any other day. People were up doing their tasks or simply enjoying the day; it has been the same old, same old. 

That is, until the bell on the pier sounded off.

“What is going on?!” Jill yells, everyone looking over the main deck to see the commotion. The bell is only used for emergencies, like if an enemy were to approach the Hideaway. However, Jill sees that people weren’t panicking, but rejoicing. 

Gav runs up to Jill alarmed, trying to get a sense of what’s happening. “Oh fuck me! What’s going on?!” 

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.” Jill says, her and Gav picking up the pace as they walk to see the situation at hand; both ready to take action. The two of them push through the crowd, finally reaching the railing that sees over the pier. The first instant Jill looks down, a gasp is let out with her hand covering her mouth and eyes bulging. 

“No fucking way,” Gav whispers, not quite believing what he is seeing.

But their eyes do not betray them, for the bell has rang not for an emergency situation, but a message that he is alive. Clive is alive. 

“He made it… Great Greagor he fucking made it!” Gav cheers.

“Clive!” Jill yells.

Clive looks up to the main deck to see two of his cherished friends, and right as he makes eye contact with them, he makes a run for the lift. Gav and Jill follow his lead, running in the direction he is to come to officially greet him. The minute Clive steps out from the lift, Gav and Jill are on him, hugging him tightly to make sure he isn’t here to haunt the place.

“You’re alive!” Jill elates.

“I apologize for my late return. I didn’t realize I’d be sorely missed.” Clive jokes, watching as more people gather around them.

“Are you kidding? This place has been falling apart without you!” Gav exaggerates.

It makes Clive chuckle, placing his hand on Gav’s shoulder as he pulls back. “Seeing all the new faces, I doubt that. And that is thanks to you. Thank you for keeping the Hideaway safe.”

Clive feels something rub his leg, and looks to see Torgal rubbing his head against him. He bends down, using his good arm to rub behind Torgal’s ears. “Torgal, have you been a good boy since I’ve been away?”

“Clive,” Jill gasps. “You’re arm.”

During Clive’s travels back home, his arm had become more of a nuisance if anything. He is a strong man; he can wield swords made of the heaviest metals, no problem. But to have an appendage weigh more than the other, well, that is a whole different situation. He had ripped part of his cape and created a sling to keep his arm in place, making travel more bearable.

Clive stands up straight, rubbing his stoned arm. “Yeah… I didn’t get away completely unscathed.” Clive draws out. “But nevertheless, we won.”

“What of Joshua and Dion?” Jill asks, even though the look in her eyes tells him she already knows. All he could do was shake his head.  

“I suppose I have a lot of explaining to do.” Clive says, having much to tell. 

“You will, but not before we get your arm sorted out.”

“Of course,” Clive chuckles, and turns to see Tarja with her arms crossed and hip out. He is so happy to be back amongst friends and family, ready to truly cherish his time after a battle where he could have easily perished. But most importantly, he is ready to see you.

Truth be told, Clive’s travels back to Valisthea were consumed mostly by you. All he could think about was how he craves for you to be in his warm embrace, giving him kisses and caresses that would heal him for a lifetime. To be away from you for so long is agony, and what has kept him going was knowing the future is now his and yours; one where you both can live lives worth living. 

He looks around and sees a bunch of familiar faces approach, his original crew gathering around him as they welcome his return. He scans the crowd, nodding to everyone and granting a smile. However, he doesn’t see you within the sets of familiar faces. 

“Where’s _____?” Clive asks, scanning the crowd once more for your face.

Everyone goes silent, glancing at one another trying to communicate. An uneasy feeling settles in Clive’s pit, not liking the reaction he got with his simple question. 

Tarja is the first to speak up, diverting the question quickly with urgency. “We can talk about her later, but first we need to do something about your arm straight away. Jill. Gav. Take him to the infirmary. I’ll be up there shortly.” There was a look in Tarja’s eyes that told Clive she wouldn’t be there for a while, which made that uneasy feeling grow bolder. 

Gav and Jill suddenly hook arms with Clive on either side, walking fast so he had no choice but to follow. Clive could feel himself getting frustrated, having wanted to see you for days upon days and not being granted that wish immediately upon his return. 

He leans down to Jill’s ear, needing an explanation immediately. “Where is she?”

“It is better we explain once we are upstairs.” Jill reasons, although there is a shake in her voice.  

The four of them get into the infirmary, Jill and Gav situating Clive on a cot. Gav whispers to Jill, her nodding in response as he jogs out of the room. Clive looks at her, a million thoughts running through his head at their peculiarness. 

“Jill, what is happening?”

Jill twiddles her thumbs, taking deep breaths as she prepares herself. She looks down at the floorboards, and Clive can feel the tension in the room. “Some things happened while you were away, Clive.” Her breath trembles. “You aren’t going to be happy with what I’m about to say.”

“You are worrying me, Jill.” Clive says, trying to stay calm. “Please tell me what’s happened.”

Jill looks up, eyes starting to gloss over. She places her hands over Clive’s right hand, squeezing it gently. “The night of Origin. Metia’s star went out, and I couldn’t feel you anymore after that. I thought you were dead.

“Jill,” Clive says in a low tone. “I apologize for causing so much grief.”

“We all thought you died.” Jill laughs solemnly. “Seeing you right now doesn’t feel real.” 

Clive squeezes Jill’s hands as a means to comfort her, as well as to urge her to continue. She shakes her head, tears as icy Shiva’s magick slipping down her face. “We all took it very hard. Some held hope, but after weeks of no signs of your return, everyone had accepted it.”

Jill’s breath stutters. “But Greagor, Clive. _____ took it so hard.” The tears started to fall, Jill shaking as she continued. “She wouldn’t get out of bed, wouldn’t eat… oh Greagor she wouldn’t talk to anyone. She would just lay there no matter what we tried to do.”

Clive thinks his heart just tore. The thought of you like that made him ill. And the past tense of Jill’s words make the air all the more suffocating.

“Where is she, Jill? Let me see her, please.” He pleads, needing to show you that he lives and has come back to her.

“I’m sorry,” Jill cries, her head bowing onto their intertwined hands. “I’m so sorry, Clive.”

“Jill talk to me, please!” He begs before hearing the door to the infirmary open, only to see Gav with a small scroll in his hand. 

“Gav, you need to tell me what has happened.” Clive says sternly, knowing another second longer with no answer will send him into a frenzy. 

Gav shows him the scroll, making Clive gently let go of Jill’s hands to reach for it but before he could grab it Gav backed away. “When you read this, know that we have plans enacted.”

Gav hands it to him, taking another step back to give Clive more space. Clive unravels the scroll quickly, the need for answers strong. And he gets his answer, but that answer makes his skin run cold and go hot at the same time.

Gav,

I apologize for putting this on you. I know your transition as the new Cid has been a lot, and I am sorry for making it much harder for you. This space is yours now. Not Clive’s, nor mine.

You know as well as the others I am not well. A part of me died the day Clive passed, and being here has made any progress of healing not happen. Truth is, I see him everywhere. Everything here reminds me of him, and it’s killing me because one moment I see him and the next I don’t. The grief that has consumed me has become everlasting. 

By the time you read this, I will be far gone. Please, I beg of you, do not come find me. Do not send anyone to come find me. I will not come back, at least for now. Any chance of me getting better is for me to go out there, not stay here. I know this will cause worry, and I apologize for being a nuisance, but I have no choice. It’s either I die out there trying or I stay here rotting. 

Tell the others I’m sorry, especially Jill, and take care of her. Once I’m ready, I’ll send word of my whereabouts. Until then, please let me grieve in peace.

Much obliged,

_____

Clive is seeing red. His fist starts to squeeze the paper, crackles and the sound of a tear coming from it. “When did she leave?” 

“It’s been about a month.” Gav mutters, and everything that happens next is a blur. Clive shoots up from the bed, charging towards Gav before slamming him into the door.

“Clive, please don’t!” Jill cries.

“She’s been gone for a month?! And you have yet to find her?!” Clive yells, his fist gripping tightly onto Gav’s leathers.

“We have notified people on the outside to keep us posted.” Gav tries to reassure. “That is what the Hideaway members have agreed on.” His words do nothing to soothe him. If he still had his magick, he is sure hellfire would rain on the Hideaway.

“She needed time, Clive.” Jill rests her hand on his shoulder. “We chose to respect her wishes.”

He scoffs, backing away from the both of them, disbelief clear on his features. “You agreed to this too?”

“You were not here to witness what we did!” Jill yells agitated. “Clive, I understand your frustration, but if you saw how she was you wouldn’t think twice.”

He wants to stay angry, put the blame on someone selfishly. You’ve done so much for the Hideaway, the cause, everyone involved. How could they let you leave? But all he feels is defeat. He came too late, and now he needs to make up for lost time.

“Excuse me,” Clive mutters, walking towards the door Gav is still leaning against. 

Jill shoots herself to grab the upper half of his petrified arm, a grunt forced out at the pulling tension. “Clive, you need to stay right here so Tarja can do something about your arm.” 

“No, I am going to go out and look for her! She needs to know I’m alive!” He tries shaking her grip off his arm, but to no avail as she holds on tighter. Panic is starting to set in, not knowing where you are and if you are safe freaking him out. It is almost as if he is experiencing firsthand what you went through. 

Gav steps forward, putting his hands on Clive’s shoulders shaking him slightly. “We have cursebreakers looking for her daily now that the month of her leave has passed. We will find her. And now that you are back, we will bring her home.” 

“Once you are better, we will go with you to search for her. But for right now, you need to rest. Let the cursebreakers do what they’ve been assigned to do.” Jill reassures. “Let’s get you ready for Tarja. The sooner she can fix you up, the faster you can go out.”

Clive takes a deep breath before nodding, and lets Jill and Gav guide him back to the cot. He sits back down, and all he can do is look down at the floorboards. Anger and defeat have turned into a sadness he cannot fully comprehend; a feeling he hasn’t quite felt before. “Do you two mind giving me some time alone? Please.”

“Of course, Clive. We will be outside if you need anything.” Jill says, before the sound of four feet patter across the floor and the creak of the door opens and closes, leaving Clive completely alone.  

He doesn’t know how long he stays like that; unmoving, eyes glued to the floor. All he thinks is he should have found a way to send a message to you so you knew he had survived. Deep down, he knows there was nothing he could have done given his circumstances, but that doesn’t stop the blame game he is putting upon himself. So he sits there, wallowing in his heartache as his shoulders shake and throat lets out faint sobs.

The letter is still held tightly in his grasp. 

Day 71

Waking up early in the morning before the sun makes its greeting isn’t abnormal for you, not when you dream constantly. Sometimes your dreams would startle you. Sometimes they would make you wake up crying. Sometimes they would wake you up with a smile on your face. But the time is always the same; the moon is always there to tell you the time of the morning and you fall back into a deep sleep before the sun shows itself. However, this time is different. 

In recent days, you’ve had nothing but wonderful dreams. Not ones like when you first came here, or ones about a future no longer possible. They were dreams of the past, deja vu in nature. Fond memories of you and Clive ranging from the first time you laid eyes on him to the last. What’s different about your calling back to the real world is your eyes open to hues of yellow and orange shining through the window. It is not the moon’s beams that greet you, but the sun’s rays.

You get out of bed and go to the door, opening it to step out onto the field. The early morning air hits your skin, the grass licking at your feet as you continue forward. You trek to the spot between the elevated land, a v-shape displaying the rising sun as it continues its ascent. Your hand goes out in front of you, watching your skin transform as the sun’s colors grow brighter. You can’t help but smile at the sight before you because all you feel is peace. For once since Valisthea changed forever, you felt like everything will be okay. 

You think about the first time you and Clive watched the sunrise together, holding each other tightly as you both talk about how it is a new day full of hopes and dreams. You remember him telling you how he has never felt more alive than he did in that moment, and you can understand why; you understand because you feel the same. 

You know Clive would want you to live to the fullest, for that was what he wanted all along. Even if things didn’t turn out the way they should have, he would have wanted you to live for him, but most importantly for yourself. He would want you to remember your time together fondly, and that it wasn’t for nothing. It was everything. 

You inhale deeply, the scents of the morning filling your airways before you exhale. You continue to look out on the horizon, mesmerized by the beauty of a new day; a new start .

“I deserve to be happy, right Clive?” You whisper to yourself. “I will continue to live for you and for me. Starting now.”

This is the start of your new life. 

Day 172

“These are absolutely beautiful, my lady. These are so hard to find in Dhalmekia.” 

You smile brightly, watching the woman before you admire your handy work. “I’m pleased that you love them. Morgenbeards are native to the swampy waters in Rosaria, but I was able to get my hands on some seeds.”

“You must know your stuff to get them to grow here.” The lady continues.

You shake your head, grinning at her. “I have my ways.”

To say things have gotten better would be the greatest understatement in history because you are thriving. It is as if everything has fallen into place. You fixed up the small cottage you are residing in so it felt more like a home rather than a temporary visit. You did a lot of prep work to ensure you’d live comfortably. The greatest thing, however, is you found a way to make a living for yourself, the one thing you do best: grow flowers. 

You noticed how flowers grew in the fields, yet you could tell they needed help; the Dhalmeky dirt too dry to keep them alive for long. You were able to get some books on flower gardening, along with different kinds of seeds, all imported from merchants who graciously accepted the little gil you had. It took some time, but those things helped you open a flower shop out of your home. And thus far, it has been a wonderful success.

You had taken a flower cart to Dalimil to get your name out there, and to let people know where to find your business. You eventually want to move your business within the inn’s market, but when you had come to propose the idea, you found out Lubor had been gone on an expedition. The cart will have to do, you recalled thinking. The people there have been nothing but supportive, offering their business in exchange for theirs: vases, business signs, gardening supplies, etcetera. It was a good system that benefitted you and them. You were grateful.

You are sitting at the kitchen table, having closed shop for the day, sipping on some hot tea as you write down your daily earnings. A hard day’s work is rewarding, and knowing your flowers have made your customers happy makes you happy. To be doing things that feel worthwhile feels good, and the last time you felt this way was when you lived at the Hideaway.

The Hideaway. You stop writing as you reminisce about those times. It really wasn’t that long ago, yet it feels like a lifetime. Have I changed that much? 

You miss everyone dearly. You miss Tarja’s tough love. You miss Mid’s inventiveness. You miss Otto’s gruffness. You miss Tome’s stories of his travels. You miss Jote’s coolness. You miss Gav’s banter. You miss Torgal’s way of comforting you. You miss Jill’s faith. You miss everyone. You often wonder if they miss you too.

You are surprised no one has come looking for you, or have found you if they were. You think about what they must have thought when you left that letter. Were they angry? Sad? Worried? All three? Did they listen to you when you said you didn’t want to be found or did they nonstop look day and night for you? You couldn’t tell. Not unless you find out for yourself. 

You set the daily earnings paper aside, and lay out a fresh one, your quill hovering over the paper as you think of what to say. There are so many words to say, yet you don’t know where to start. Do you share everything? Do you just tell them you are okay? Do you tell them where you are? So many questions to answer with little paper to write it all out. So you write something simple, hoping it gets the message across.

I hope this finds you well. Come see me if you wish. You all know where to find me.

Day 179

Clive’s search for you has been non-stop, days and nights spent looking for trails only to find dead ends. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get how you could have disappeared without a trace. But that will not deter him. He will not stop looking until he finds you.

Every place that Clive could think of they checked. Areas in Dhalmekia were the first places they looked, knowing you knew the area better than others. The very first place they checked was your childhood home near the Northern Velkroy, but it didn’t look like there were any signs of life there. Different towns within the area were checked but no one had heard or seen you. Hell, they were more surprised to see him alive and well to focus on the whereabouts of a lost woman. He understood, but it grated his nerves. 

Every other place in Valisthea had been scouted and marked as they went, but every location and mark was the same. So here he was, writing letters to town leaders of the cause again to be his eyes. You have to show up somewhere eventually, if you haven’t already. 

As every day passes, his heart wanes further. It yearns for you, calling out its other half to be complete again. When he does rest, granted not for long periods of time, he imagines you are lying with him. He holds a pillow close in his arms, picturing it to be you to subdue his crazed heart and mind. It was nice to pretend, but then he wakes up and is sorely disappointed to see what lies in his arms is just that: a pillow. It’s a cycle because the same thought crosses his mind each and every time: the day you are back in his arms will be a momentous day. That day has yet to come.

He keeps writing the same words over and over on different sheets of paper when he hears commotion from beyond his doors. The fighting instinct in him shoots up, running to the door to see what was happening when he sees Otto, Jill, and Gav running towards him.

“Has something happened?” Clive asks, alarmed. 

Otto reaches Clive first, shoving a piece of paper into his hand. “She has communicated with us.”

Clive couldn’t read the paper fast enough, not quite believing this day had come. He rings out the paper to straighten it before reading her handwriting. “She is staying in a cottage in the Fields of Corava.” 

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go get the lass back!” Gav expresses with full excitement, springs basically on the bottom of his feet with how bouncy he is. 

Jill pats Gav on the back. “Gav, let’s let Clive go alone.” She then turns to face Clive, an understanding smile greeting him. “They will need some time together.”

“Thank you, Jill.” Clive says softly. “I thank all of you.” 

“Well, if that’s the case…” Gav draws out, approaching Clive before slamming his hand on his shoulder, “you better get cleaned up! You have a lady to see.” 

Clive laughs at Gav’s antics, and turns to ready himself; ready himself to return to you once and for all.

Day 184

It’s late in the morning as you gather flowers into your basket, trimming and cutting the ones that have bloomed beautifully. The flower gardens in the field were flourishing more and more every day. The more you work in the gardens, the more fulfillment you feel. You felt this when you helped out in the Backyard, but what you built here is from your own doing. You believe it to be a testament to your growth, showing that you made the right decision all those months ago. You’ve created your own little utopia, and to share it with others is a beautiful thing.

As you cut fresh flowers, you start to wonder if people at the Hideaway got your letter. You would love for them to come visit, and see what you have done with the place. You wonder if they will ever come to see you or if they will send a letter back. It could be any day now, and you will be ready.

You have a full basket of flowers ready to be put in vases, and before you can get up to head inside you see a shadow lingering above your form. “I’m sorry, but I won't be open for another couple of hours.”

There is no reply, and the shadow remains as still as a statue. You sigh, standing up to turn and be more clear with your words. “I apologize for the inconvenience, but I still need to se-”

The flower basket falls from your grasp, tumbling out and falling into a heap by your feet. Time has frozen, not feeling real as you look at the person you have longed to see for months. You question if you are hallucinating, having had moments where you would see Clive one second and the next he was gone. This, however, was different.

The man before you was not in uniform; just a simple white tunic that displayed a few of his chest curls at the v-cut and regular black trousers with his leather boots. His face was clean-shaven, the facial hair he had kept for so long absent from his face making him look younger. The biggest difference, however, was his left arm; from his elbow down was gone. How could this be hallucination?

“Am I dreaming or is this real?” You breathe, blinking a few times to see if he’d disappear. He didn’t.

He takes a step forward, grabbing one of your hands to place it over his heart. He is warm, his heart fluttering quickly. He is looking down into your eyes, where you see his baby blues grow glossy. “This is real.” He murmurs. “I’m home, sweetheart.”

Something about his words break you, your hands latching onto his shirt to hold yourself to reality. He’s home. My Clive is home. 

You can’t help the sobs that leave your mouth as you bury your face into his chest, making him wrap his arm around you as you both collapse down into the flower beds. You are feeling every emotion under the sun, and you can tell Clive does too as he holds you in his lap. He cries with you, sharing a reunion so pure that it is overwhelming. You lift your head and bring his face to yours, kissing him so deeply that your lungs shake. Exchanges of small words come out between the two of you as you give each other kisses that have been longed for. 

“I never thought I’d see this day.” You say with a wobble in your tone, kissing him again and again. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you. I’m sorry I kept you waiting.” Clive croaks, and goes back in for your lips.

There you both make up for lost time; holding onto each other in a field of flowers where kisses and touches are continuously exchanged.

- 

You and Clive eventually went inside. You turn the sign on your door to ‘close’, so no one can bother you two. You watch Clive look around the place, taking in your little set up of flowers on the kitchen table.

“I apologize for the mess. I’ve had a lot of requests over the last few days believe it or not.” 

Clive looks at you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. “That doesn’t surprise me in the least. You’ve always had a way with flowers. Speaking of which…”

He reaches into his pocket, only to pull out the lily you had given him all that time ago. You gasp, surprised he has kept hold of it. “You still have it? But how?”

“I protected it with my life.” Clive sets it onto the table. “You gave it to me with the wish that I’d return to you. I wasn’t going to lose it easily.”

“You are so endearing.” You say, but you have so many things you want to know and that alone puts a small frown on your face.

Clives sees the shift immediately, grabbing your hand to console you. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” 

“What happened at Origin, Clive?” You ask, needing to know what he went through for the time he was gone.

Clive exhales, seemingly knowing that question was coming. He pulls your hand towards him as he walks to your bed. “We should sit down. It is a long story.”

The two of you sit down and Clive still has a tight hold on one of your hands. “Forgive me, for this may take me a second. Thinking about certain events there still hurts.”

You bring your free hand to his face, which feels smooth under your touch. His head leans into your palm, turning slightly to kiss the delicate skin. “Take all the time you need. I am here.” You murmur. 

And so, he tells the tale of Origin. He tells you about Dion’s sacrifice. He tells you about what he found out about Ultima’s plans. He tells you about Joshua’s passing, something he had a hard time conveying without his voice breaking, but he pushed on. He tells you about Ultima’s demise. He tells you about how he woke up somewhere off the Shadow Coast of Storm. And he tells you how throughout his journey back to Valisthea, all he could think about was how he couldn’t wait to come home to you. All of it was hard to listen to, hearing what he went through from Origin till now. 

“So, Metia going out was a sign that magick has been lost…” 

“Mmm,” he hums, the both of you lying down now.

“So that’s why you didn’t become wholly petrified? You stopped it in time.”

“Tarja did a great job removing it and ensuring my stub was healed properly, despite my stubbornness.” He jokes, but you don’t laugh. All you can think about is the past.

“If only I waited a little longer,” you start. “I would have saved us so much grief.”

“Don’t you dare blame yourself.” Clive shushes, kissing the top of your head and pulling you closer into his body. “Jill told me you had a very hard time grieving. I will not shame you for doing something you felt was right.

You bury your head into Clive’s neck, breathing in something that is so undeniably him. “You know, when I first got here, I would have these dreams. Nightmares really.”

Clive stays silent, letting you continue. “It would always start and end the same. I would wake up with you in the room, and the next thing I knew you were telling me I had betrayed you… and that you no longer loved me.” You start to sniff, not liking to recall those dreams. “For such a long time, I felt I didn’t deserve to be happy because I had left part of your legacy behind. It felt like your ghost was haunting me day and night.”

“Oh, darling,” Clive pulls you into him so you are on top of him with legs on either side of him. Clive brings your forehead to his, his thumb coming up to swipe the tears building up in your eyes. “I could never not love you.” He looks deeply into you, burning the truth of his heart into you. “I am yours even beyond death.” 

His words overwhelm you, and you lean down to kiss him with every passionate fiber in your being. Your hands go to his torso, running your fingers up and down the sides as you continue to show him how much you love him. He grunts into your lips, his arm holding you down to him. Your hands start to slide slowly under his tunic, your fingers slowly ascending until they reach his chest only to go down again. The delicate touch of your fingers makes his hips buck right against your heat, a grunt and a moan echoing together simultaneously. Your hands go back up again, only this time you bring the tunic with you. 

“We have a lot of lost time to make up for.” You say against his lips.

Clive smirks at your boldness, only to flip you over on your back so he is hovering over you. “That we do, darling. Forgive me, though. Having one arm gives me less leverage.”

You hum, bringing him back down to you by his hair. “I’m sure we can manage.”

You two make love into the night and into the morning, not getting enough of one another; making up for lost time.

Day 200

Since you and Clive’s reunion, he had decided to stay for a while. He had sent a letter to the Hideaway to let them know you were well and that he would be staying for the time being, making Gav in charge. 

“He’ll love that.” You had joked.

“He’s his own man. I have all the faith in him.” 

These last few weeks have been sublime. When you wake up, you see Clive snoozing away beside you on your right; always the right so he can wrap his arm around you in his sleep. He has also helped you with the flower shop. You two would go out in the morning before the heat set in to work the ground and water the flowers. You don’t know if the yearning in your body has yet to be satiated, but there have been times when you would come outside to gather more flowers to see Clive with his shirt off, sweat glistening on his burly chest as he works. It takes every bone in your body not to jump his own. Most times, you are unsuccessful. 

You also found out Clive is quite the salesman. When you two would go out to Dalimil to sell from your cart, the way he is able to convince people to make a purchase is astounding. Is it the charm? The looks? A combination of both? You could guess, but it didn’t matter. Every time you made a sale, he would turn to give you a quick peck. 

“I would kiss you for every individual flower we sell, but we don’t want to scare them away now, do we?”

After a long day out in Dalimil, you two are now inside the cottage finishing up dinner. You are cleaning the dishes when you feel him behind you, wrapping his arm around you pulling your hips to his. You hum in a laughing manner, his friskiness showing as he places kisses on the side of your face. “Clive, let me finish these.”

“They aren’t going anywhere.” He hums, his kisses lingering below your ear. 

You sigh but continue cleaning. Clive, on the other hand, was not having it. He pulls you away, soap and water sloshing from your hands as he pulls you to him. He plops down onto the kitchen chair, bringing you into his lap. “Hmmm, I got you.”

“You are such a horn dog. Are you sure Ifrit still doesn’t linger within you?” You laugh, then squeak when he pinches your side.

“In all seriousness,” he murmurs in your ear. “I want to talk about something.”

“About?” You hum.

“About our future.” 

“Go on,” you urge. “What about our future?”

“Well,” Clive starts, “living the way we have the last couple weeks, my mind can’t stop wandering to what I want for us.”

Your hand reaches up to his cheek, only for him to nip at the tips of your fingers causing you to giggle. “Such as?”

“To start the life we’ve always talked about.” He places more kisses on your neck. “One where our lives are strictly ours. One where I come home to my beautiful wife.” 

“I like the sound of that.” You mewl, his kisses making you squirm in his lap.

“One where I get to see you bearing our child.” His hand goes down to your tummy, rubbing just above your uterus. 

“I’ll be surprised if I’m not already with all the love making we have done.” You giggle. 

He chuckles along with you, his hand squeezing your flesh. “You’d look beautiful. You always do.” He continues, “one where I get to raise a little me, a little you, or both.”

“It all sounds so wonderful.” You purr, feeling all warm and fuzzy at his remarks. 

“Then let’s go ahead with step one.” Clive says, lifting you off of him only to sit you back down. He kneels before you, both of your hands in his one. “I don’t have a ring, but I can’t wait a moment longer. _____, will you do me the utmost honor of marrying me?”

You hum, smiling brightly at his question. “Would you have me in a wedding dress? A big ceremony?”

“Anything your heart desires.”

You shake your head, laughing at his insistence. You look at him, letting yourself get swallowed by his eyes. “I’d marry you with just the clothes on my back.” 

Clive grins, bringing your left hand to his lips as he kisses your ring finger. “I cannot wait to marry you, future Lady Rosfield.”

Lady Rosfield. It has a nice ring to it.

#clive rosfield x reader #clive rosfield #ffxvi x reader #ffxvi #clive rosfield angst #clive x reader #final fantasy xvi #my fics

[a-thousand-lives-lost-for-peace]

its 9pm and guess who i'm thinking about again after looping Jill's Reflection for the past six hours

more jill headcanons

- After her encounters with Nemesis, Jill was left with a lot of trauma - which often involved her hating to be taken by surprise. This also included loud, heavy footsteps and massive shadows, and after Raccoon City, she hates being choked or having people she doesn't trust's hands close to her neck.

- She copes things herself, and whereas someone like Chris would be closer to his team and work things out with them helping him, she's not as readily willing to receive help from others. She tends to isolate herself, and this was strengthened heavily after her ordeal in Africa and her recovery at the BSAA, given that she was isolated all the time. Specifically in the case of Africa, she had nobody to rely on but herself, because nobody came for her for nearly three years. This made her rely on herself even more, because she had nobody but herself to maintain her sanity, to keep herself grounded and to keep going, and the isolation during her recovery absolutely did not help one bit. Now, she tends to push away people when they want to help, for these reasons and also that she doesn't want them to get hurt just so it gets to her e.g when Nemesis killed Tyrell just because he got in his way. It takes her a very long time to work up to that trust, and if you have it, consider yourself special to her. That trust can be fragile, because she's experiences betrayal from someone she trusted heavily.

#resident evil #jill valentine #jill valentine headcanons #jill thoughts yet once again #resident evil headcanons

[taylor-swift-imagines]

Home from tour

Pairing: Taylor Swift x reader (female)

Warnings: None

Requested: @manyfandomsfanvergent

Request:

Where reader helps Taylor relax after the tour one night

***

There was nothing else in the entire world that Taylor missed more than you.

Taylor had just begun her Eras Tour and although you were happy for her, you saying farewell to one other was tougher than some may think so. It was hard on both of you, Taylor was the best thing to ever have happen to you, she was all you ever wanted.

You couldn’t wait until your girlfriend to come home and some several occasions, you thought that maybe of surprising her while she was still on your, but you, believe it or not, got into a heap of trouble doing so last time and what made the situation more confusing was this surprise show up was taking place during the week of her birthday. It was honestly dreadful, you almost got sent back home by her manager, but Taylor managed to convince him into letting you stay since there wasn’t much time left of the tour before turning back to scold you, asking you not to do this again. As discouraging as that was, you agreed with Taylor whole having the time of your lives together.

While Taylor was away, Selena Gomez was often around to keep you company and sure enough, there was only two weeks left of Taylor’s tour, before she finally got to come home to you. As a warm welcoming, you had wanted to put something special together for Taylor and Selena was more than happy to help out on arrangements. The next two weeks drug on until one day, you woke up the morning you’ve been waiting for, the she comes home and you don’t ever remember feeling so delighted. One of the many things you and Taylor enjoyed doing together was to go on car rides during the night, as car rides were calming enough to help you both sleep easily. But in your mind, it all depended on what Taylor wanted to do as soon as she got home. While Taylor was away, you would watch her performances from the Eras Tour on YouTube sent to you by fans or just in your own. Out of all of them, your all time favorite performance was Enchanted as that had always been your favorite song Taylor has ever written.

You don’t know why you loved it so much, but maybe it was because of the way her eyes looked at you whenever she would sing it for you and to you. Nothing can break your love apart, you would love each other always. Once you the evening had come, Andrea Swift stopped by to pick you up along with Selena Gomez to welcome your girlfriend home after several weeks of not being together. It was a very touching reunion as you both had missed each other so much, and are happy to be back in each other’s arms. The car ride home felt like an eternity, Selena drove back with Andrea in the passenger’s seat, you and Taylor were in the back holding hands and trying to cuddle together.

“Not yet, ladies.” Selena would tease.

Both you and Taylor had laughed before looking at each other, smiling widely before sharing a kiss just before pulling away to discuss what was to happen once you arrive home. It was all up to Taylor and you made sure that she knew that, all she wanted to do was to be with you and that’s what made that evening so special.

After being dropped off at home, Taylor gently takes your hand in hers and walks up to the front door, unlocks it, and pulls you inside. With it now just being the two of you alone, you both had settled on a few movies in your shared bedroom with snacks and cuddles, stories from tour included. The first movie you had decided to watch was “The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty” and then “Jack and Jill” featuring Adam Sandler. In the midst of the second film, you noticed Taylor seemed to be a little tense, like you could see tension in her back and she was leaning forward as if it was hurting her.

Of course, that worried you and you couldn’t resist to not ask her of her well-being. Placing a soft touch on her shoulder, she turns to see you and smiles.

“Are you okay, Taylor?”

“Of course, why do you ask?”

“Well… you seem to have a little tension in your back. Does it hurt?”

“A little. Mostly just stiff.” She admitted.

“Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

Watching as you head for the master bathroom, she slightly lifts her shirt, exposing her naked back as you return with icy hot cream/ointment to place it on there.

As you do, it was not possible for you to hold back a loving smile, knowing this was helping her to relax. Taylor had a long tour and she deserved every free time they would give her, such as now. After placing it on her back, you screw the cap back on and place it on the nightstand beside you as you let Taylor fall back and spoon you to her side while watching the movie.

However, neither of you don’t remember much of it as you fell asleep in the middle of it. The next morning, Taylor seemed much more relaxed.

You felt very pleased when you noticed how much more relaxed she seemed.

God, she was your world.

***

@taylor-swift-imagines

Requests: Open

#taylor swift imagines #taylor swift imagine #taylor swift x reader #taylor swift x female reader #taylor swift #requested #request #requests #ask #send asks

[blueberrypancakesworld]

love the head cannons. NEED A PART 4

Perv!Charlie Walker~headcanon 4

warning : big angst, hurt/comfort, kiss, cuddling, slightly knife play, blood, wound, threat, mention of murder, one sided love, touching without consent, yandere behavior, obssed love, obsession

part one, part two , part three

Thanks for the request anon have fun reading

masterlist

++++++++++++++++++++++++

°It was the middle of the night when she woke up. Dazed and with an aching head, she opened her eyes. She blinked several times and needed a moment to compose herself. ,,What...happened?" she mumbled and felt something soft underneath her. A bed, she thought and looked around.

°She was lying on a single bed, it was relatively soft and yet as she let her gaze wander she felt fear creep along her body. This was not her room, nor was she in her house. She was no longer at the barn either. She was in a strange place.

°Sitting up, she suddenly felt something slightly sticky on her leg. Looking down her leg in confusion, she saw a white, almost transparent substance. Confusion and fear were in her eyes as she wiped the substance off her leg with her fingers. ,,Who smeared this...on me?" she asked herself in shock and felt her heart beat faster.

°She got up from the bed and looked around. It was a small room without windows. A large metal roller door formed the door, so to speak. Going to the exit and entrance, she tried to push the door up. But no matter how many times she tried, she could not do it. ,,Open, please!" she shouted at the gate and tried again. But it was no use, she kicked at it angrily and fearfully before looking around.

°It was furnished a bit like a normal room. Almost as if the person had tried to create an inviting environment. Desperately looking around for a way to escape, she opened all the boxes. But next to normal materials, pillows, blankets and clothes, she found something that gave her pause. ,,What-Why is this here?" she muttered and picked up the Ghostface mask and the long black robe.

°There was no blood on it, but when she looked into the killer's face, a shiver ran down her spine. Is this his hideout? she asked herself and had only one more reason to get out of here. Away from this place and away from Ghostface. Throwing the clothes behind her she continued to look through the box. With a relieved sound she held the knife in her hand, trembling slightly.

°It felt heavy on the handle and the blade were cold but the steel was sharp. In an emergency it would serve her well. ,,Somehow out of here," she murmured and continued to look around. She was about to look under the bed when her gaze caught on a small mirror. ,,What the" she said when she saw the dark hickeys and bites scattered over her body.

°And suddenly the room scared her even more than it should have. Before she could move around, a sudden noise came from outside. Someone was standing in front of the gate.....

°Everything had gone wrong her plan completely ruined and ruined. Kirby dead, Roobie dead, and Jill headed straight for prison. ,,Damn Sidney," he cursed and heaved his way along the warehouses. The stab wound on his stomach was still bleeding. He just left a trail of blood instead of breadcrumbs for the police. He knew it was pure luck that he had somehow escaped in all the chaos.

°But it would be worth all the pain once he was with her. He would finally have her to himself and they would be together. He stifled a cry before dragging himself the last few metres along the walls and gates before arriving at his. ,,Help! Is someone there?" he suddenly heard her beloved voice.

°You're finally awake he thought and knew his luck was in. ,,Yes-yes, it's Charlie!" he called to her and continued to press his hand on the wound. He looked nervously behind him, afraid the police would be around the corner any second. ,,Oh my God Charlie! Ghostface he's locked me in here help me. The door won't open!" she shouted at him and if he hadn't been in so much pain he would have laughed at her naivety.

°Instead, he clenched his teeth briefly and suppressed a painful hiss. ,,Wait, I'll get you out of here!" he shouted back before taking the key out of his pocket and opening the lock. Pushing up the gate and going inside, he finally saw her again.

°Scared, she took a few steps back. Perhaps out of fear that Ghostface might come after her and him. Before she ran towards him in relief and embraced him. He felt her rapid heartbeat, her relieved yet frightened voice thanking him. ,,You're bleeding, wait, there were bandages here," she said in shock and started rummaging through the boxes again.

°Meanwhile he closed the gate behind him and saw her stop a moment later. She saw through it he thought and couldn't help smiling a little. ,,What's the matter...still a little tired, my dear?" he asked sacrastically and heard her mutter something before she stood up. Before he saw the knife flashing in her hands.

°She took a few steps back from him. ,,You-you did this, Charlie! You drugged me-the alcohol...my body. You're Ghostface, you murderer!" she screamed at him as the scales fell from her eyes. ,,Bingo, my love, just like it should have been all along," he said, seeing her shake her head in denial. ,,N-No...Charlie-you're crazy what are you saying?" she asked, still clutching the knife protectively.

°He laughed even though it hurt like hell. ,,Crazy about you, my love. Since we've been at school, I've seen the way you've looked at me, your loving words, the events" he counted up and slowly came towards her. ,,What-no Charlie...you've got it wrong. I've been nice to you because you're my classmate...I love you no-" but he didn't allow her to say the words. That's when he lunged at her and pulled her to the ground.

°They fell into the boxes, but he managed to get the upper hand. He sat on her hips and had the knife in his hand. ,,Don't say that! It's all true. I'm doing all this for you!" he shouted at her and held the knife to her throat. Her hands lay limp at her side, afraid he would slash her. ,,Will-Will you kill me too now?" he heard the question.

°Instantly his heart contracted. His free hand ran down her body, over her side, her soft breasts, placed his fingers on her aorta, felt her pulse. Before he wiped away her tears and clasped her hand. ,,Oh, my sweet, don't cry, I would never kill you. No no, all these other sacrifices were just necessary so that we could be together" he said and let the knife draw small circles over her breast.

°Suddenly he heard the police sirens approaching from a distance. In one swift movement he sat her up and pulled her into a hug from behind. So that one hand with the knife was at her neck and the other kept wandering along her body. ,,Shhh no noise" he whispered and pinched her lightly before she hastily said ,,Yes understood".

°They both heard the police pass by the warehouse. He felt that she would have liked to scream, but the knife at her neck forbade it. ,,They look beautiful on you," he whispered and kissed her neck where one of your hickeys was. His free hand moved lightly up her leg to her middle. ,,You don't know what else we'll do together," he whispered and let his fingers wander over her centre. He noticed how she pulled her legs together, which made him smile.

°The police withdrew after a few minutes and the blue light moved on. ,,You see, it's easy, good girl," he praised and let his free hand grasp a bandage. He easily loosened the knife on her neck. ,,Now you will put the bandage on me and if you do it well I will be gentle...if not you will see" he said and she was about to pull away from his grip when he held her by the jaw. ,,I love you" he said and kissed her. She began to unbutton his shirt and lift his jumper before reaching for the bandage.

°Later, the papers said that Ghostface Charlie Walker and his now-deceased partner Jill Roberts were behind the murders. That he had kidnapped his classmate and taken her out of America to hide somewhere. Not knowing that in his eyes it was a pure necessity to commit the victims. To be with his love, his heart, his obsession, his muse, his property forever.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

#x reader #fem reader #male x female #comfort #angst #charlie walker scream #charlie walker x reader #charlie walker #scream 4 #scream movie #big angst #hurt/comfort #cuddle #knife play #blood #wounds and injuries #mention of murder #one sided love #one sided feelings #non consensual touching #yandere behavior #yandere thoughts #obssesive #obssesion #obsessive thoughts #obsessive love #obsession

[linawritestwst]

Hey, Lina!! I hope you don't mind me making a request! How about hcs for Rollo with a reader who really enjoys the city of flowers and often visits? Yk like dates at local shops and stuff! (imagine rollo seeing soccer mom jill while on a date with the reader omg /j)

Thank you and I hope you have fun with this request! <3

rollo x reader who often visits the city of flowers (gn!reader)

of course, i don't mind you making a request!! especially a rollo-related one, hehe <3

this was so fun to write, thank you sm for requesting! i've been giggling and kicking my feet the entire time, haha. it would've been even more fun if tumblr saved my writing after the power went out, but oh well.

♡ when you had to go back to nrc, rollo knew that he will.. uh, miss you, if it's okay for him to say that. you were the only nrc student who knew everything about his actions, but still thought that he's a good person who deserves to be forgiven. you were still kind to him and when you had to leave, you even hugged him and waved him goodbye as you walked away with other students who looked at you like you just killed someone in front of them. like, how could he not miss you after this? but he knew that after everything that happened during the festival, there was a very low chance of you ever coming back to the city of flowers.

♡ .. so why exactly are you here again? no, of course, you coming back is a very nice surprise, but still.. why? rollo couldn't believe his eyes when he saw you and he needed a moment to process this. is this really you? maybe he just misses you so much that he literally sees you everywhere now? okay, if this really is you, you probably came back because of something school-related. maybe there's an event of some kind? but rollo thought that nrc students don't want to do anything with nbc students now.. wait, you came back because you liked this city a lot and wanted to see it again? that's understandable and he's very happy to hear that. he'll gladly show you all the places you haven't seen when you came here last time- if you're comfortable with that, of course. he doesn't know if you're okay with his company..

♡ you suddenly take both of his hands and smile at him while saying that you would love that. his hands were so cold before you did that and now they feel much warmer. however, you wanting to see the city of flowers again is not the main reason why you're here.. rollo asks what you mean by that. w-wait, you're here because "you missed him so much, you just had to come back"? you?? missed him?? huh?? great, he's even more confused now. ah, you probably mean it in a more "friendly" way, right? like maybe you just think that you and rollo could be friends or something like that? he stands there with his usual face expression all this time, but you can still notice his cheeks becoming a little more pink and him looking a bit lost. hehe, he's so adorable~

♡ but he keeps his promise and he does agree to show you the city of flowers once again. and even though you're not a couple (yet), whenever you're with rollo, it still feels like a date. he's just always so unintentionally romantic and it doesn't matter that he looks like a more cold type of person on the outside. of course, you take a chance to flirt with him every time he says something that can be taken in a more romantic way. his reactions depend on his mood, honestly. he either genuinely doesn't get it and stands there while going "???" or his face becomes more red and he tries his best to stay calm, but you know that you've successfully managed to fluster him. you love all his reactions though, they're equally cute.

♡ and again, even though you are not dating, literally everyone else thinks that you and rollo are in love with each other. every time someone sees you, even if it's just you and rollo walking around or buying something, people are like: "oh, you two are such a lovely young couple!!" rollo explains that you're just a friend who likes to come to this city often, but you can still hear him stuttering a bit and sounding not as calm as he wants to be. you love to go "but i thought we had something together :'(" and "come on, honey, we literally went on a date yesterday!" to make things even harder for him. you are going to kill him, y/n. and the worst thing about this is that he's trying so hard to make sure people know it's just a joke, but he's also going insane because "wait, did they just call me "honey""?

♡ every time rollo hears something about you visiting soon, he tries really hard to hide it, but everyone can see how excited he really is. it's hard for him to focus on other things, like his student council president's work, and he gets distracted more easily. other students don't even ask him anything anymore, they just know that it's something related to you. and yes, almost all nbc students think you two are dating. it's not like they're judging though, they're actually very happy for their president and think you two look very cute together. but when other student council members ask rollo if he needs some dating advice, he's not happy about it.

♡ when you can't visit him and you spend a long time not seeing each other, you still make sure to stay connected. rollo sends you letters and gifts and they're always so cute and thoughtful, they remind you of him every time you see them. you can also feel how shy he really is about all of this, when you read his letters, it's obvious he thinks he's being annoying or "too much". you encourage him to be more affectionate though, you love that side of him. whenever nrc students ask about the letters and the gifts, you proudly say that they're from your boyfriend. oh? they want to know more about him? it's a secret <3 if they say anything bad about him you will literally kill them

♡ when you and rollo finally start dating, you two can finally be more open and honest with each other, but.. other people think nothing has changed between you and him?? when you say that you two are dating now, everyone just goes "um, yeah, we already knew that". like, for example, you really do love the city of flowers, but rollo is still the main reason why you kept coming back. and if rollo knew that you're going to visit, he literally couldn't stop thinking about you. also, even if you couldn't see each other for a week or two, you and rollo felt like you're not gonna see each other ever again. you two really were dating all this time, you just didn't know about it. 

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst x reader #rollo flamm #rollo flamm x reader #rollo flamme #rollo flamme x reader

[lostinwoso]

The Challenge (Merle Frohms x Reader)

request - 1k words

“I thought we could go out next week? We can watch the new movie you were waiting for and then grab some dinner?”, Merle asks you as she takes a seat on the table while you are still fixing some of the tape you just used on one of her teammates. 

You are one of the physios for Wolfsburg and grew rather quickly close to the goalkeeper after her return to Wolfsburg at the beginning of the season. In fact, it only took the German player only 2 months before she decided to ask you out.

From that moment on more and more dates followed whenever you both could find some time in her busy schedule as a professional football player. 

“Hmm, I don’t know.”, you reply, shrugging your shoulders as you place the tape roll back into the drawer it belongs. Turning around, you can see an annoyed expression on her face, making you smirk.

She knows what's about to happen, you sometimes like the idea of challenging her for a date, the entire hard to get act is one of your favorite things to annoy her with. But so far, Merle managed to beat every single one you sent her way, and she can’t deny that those dates that followed always felt a bit better than all the other ones. So she is keen on once again mastering whatever you send her way.

“Alright, what's the condition this time?”.

You think about it for a moment before a thought appears in your head, “You know I love the club, so I would kind of enjoy it if we make it through the semis next week and into the Champions League Final, and then you can get your date after Eindhoven.”, you casually reply, leaning back into your seat.

“What? All the other challenges were built on little things, and now you want me to get us to the final, so I can get that date?”, the goalie asks you in complete disbelief.

“Yup.”

You notice the look on Merle's face, it’s the same one she always has on when she is in deep thought about something. You decide to give her a moment to think about your words.

“Okay.”.

“Okay?”, you were surprised by her simple reply, having thought that the goalie would protest some more about your words, you knew that the challenge isn’t necessarily fair because it’s not as if Merle can do everything alone on the field to decide the game, but apparently she doesn’t seem to mind that much. 

“Yes, but I expect it to be one of the best dates we could ever have after that.”, she answers, making her way past you to get out on the field to training.

“If we win this game, I will make sure that it’s going to be THE best date ever.”, you say to her, sending her one last wink before she disappears out of your sight. 

The next few training sessions you could tell how concentrated the goalie was, making endless safes in training as if it’s the final already. Your challenge clearly has lit up some fire in her to make sure she would be as ready as possible for the game.

But as already feared, the game would be everything else but easy for your team. The anxiety you feel from watching from your seat on the bench is almost unbearable. Arsenal pretty much started where they left off in the first leg game and that is visible after they already managed to score a goal in the 11th minute. Every minute with Arsenal staying ahead made your stomach hurt a little more, so safe to say that the relief you felt when Jill scored was very welcomed. Although you couldn’t help the chuckle leaving your lips as Jill once again scores against her former club in a Champions League game. 

And when Popp herself scores an amazing header you almost feel on top of the world, but the game wasn’t over yet and that harsh realization came when Arsenal managed to tie the score, thanks to Beattie. So when the final whistle blows, announcing that it would go into overtime, you weren’t sure if you could handle the anxiety much longer.

As just 7 minutes later, Arsenal got the opportunity to go in lead served on a golden plate, you were sure that this could be it, but thanks to the badly placed shot and Merle her quick reaction, everything was still open for either team. Also, saving a quick reminder to yourself to praise the goalie for that safe after the game. 

Checking the watch, you notice that the overtime will be done soon, meaning that the game would most likely go into penalties. That thought quickly flies out of your head though as Jule suddenly wins the ball back and passes it perfectly into Bremers run, scoring the deciding goal of the night. “JAAAAAAAAAA”, you and the entire team jumped up and started to yell in excitement. 

When the final whistle is finally blown, you all make your way onto the field to celebrate together. You, though, make your way immediately over to the goal where Merle was shrugging her gloves off, “You did it!”, you yell out as you pull her into a tight hug. 

Merle laughs at your excitement but returns your hug just as tight, “Well I couldn’t pass up the Chance to go on the best date ever, now could I?”.

“I guess not.”, you chuckle before starting to praise her for the safe from Hurtig her shot on goal. You and Merle are in your own little bubble having a small recap about the game until Lena comes over to tell you that it’s time to go over to the fans.

“Go over there.”, you tell Merle when you notice her being a little hesitant.

“But I want to spend some more time with you.”.

“We can still spend enough time together later, I promise.”, you promise her, pushing her lightly away from you and towards the direction of her teammates.

“I hold you to that!”, she yells as she jogs over to where they are. 

You simply send her a thumbs up as your mind already wanders off to planning that date she once again managed to win. 

#woso x reader #merle frohms imagine #woso imagines #merle frohms x reader #woso imagine #merle frohms imagines

[kennyswurvegurl]

Thinking about Carlos and trust. How his trustfulness isn't portrayed as being naive or stupid. How it's just as big of a part of his character as his kindness, quips, and good intentions. How that word is often repeated by him in the beginning of the game.

With the environment he grew up in (being a child soldier and all), trust would have to be super important, drilled into his head from a young age. Being able to trust and be trusted by your allies keeps you alive in the field. He trusts his comrades, who fight alongside him. He trusts Umbrella, who saved his life and bought his freedom. He trusts Jill, a woman he just met who very clearly and openly despises who he represents, even if he doesn't trust her word on Umbrella's evil. Not yet at least.

He also appears to value transparency as a part of this, becoming audibly upset when his "search and rescue" mission becomes "find and detain." This is where he sees the curtains start to peel back a little, and we get some small insight into what makes him tick. His main goal on this assignment is to help people, evacuate the innocents. He's happy as long as people make it out alive. He's rebellious against the idea of turning Dr. Bard over to the company to die for this reason. Sure, he takes it in stride when Jill acts verbally hostile towards him (continuing to joke around and assist her without hesitation), but when deception and injustice come into the mix? That makes him angry. It makes me wish we got to see a verbal confrontation between him and Nicholai, the murderous traitor. For now, it's enough to observe that he's willing to risk harm to make sure he won't get away at the end of the game.

When he watches Dr. Bard's confession, he's confronted with the undeniable proof he's been fighting for the wrong side due to his misplaced trust. He's been a fool, unknowingly part of a cover-up. He's understandably pissed, physically lashing out on the nearest object in the room. His anger may even be directed at himself (at least in part, the majority is for Umbrella) for being so blind. He realizes Jill had no reason to put her trust in him, yet she did anyway, even growing to care about him. She told him the truth about the outbreak at the very start, but he didn't believe her. He might even view this as a form of betrayal towards her. In the end, he fights tooth and nail to try and make things right, to repent for the sins of his employers. He wants to truly deserve the trust and care he had been given by someone who had every reason to write him off and turn away. Most importantly, he wants to do what he thought he was doing in the first place, save lives.

End Note: Everything said here could also apply to an analysis on loyalty as well. He starts loyal to Umbrella, but quickly shifts towards Jill and her cause. I would talk further on this, but Capcom has yet to release Carlos from the basement so I don't have much to work off of in terms of post-Umbrella characterization. We just know that's he's very pissed and vengeful towards them. I am once again asking for a Carlos-focused spin-off set between 3 and 4. Please.

#is this something????? anything????????? it was more coherent in my head #resident evil #resident evil 3 #resident evil 3 remake #re3 #re3 remake #re3make #carlos oliveira #re3 carlos #resi #character analysis #does my first tag even apply anymore i wrote it hours ago when this was two small paragraphs-

[ensn4r3d-d0ve]

could you write something like jill in a strip club in her STARS uniform, r sitting on her lap and taking jill's beret and placing it on her head all with jill's watchful eye? i'm deadddd i can't stop thinking about that

Omfg ofccc I can 😍😍

This idea is so fucking hot oml literally on my knees w mouth watering like my tongue is going to roll out.

Anyways hope you like this my lovely! 💋

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« Woman In Uniform

Pairings: Jill Valentine x F! Reader

Genre: Smut w plot || Word Count: 11.2k

Sypnosis: You were working as the manager of the stripper when a woman you’ve never seen before arrived in a uniform that looked familiar, you’d thought to introduce yourself while intoxicated leaving her to take you home and kick it off with a intimate session claiming you as hers, she wanted you since you met at the station.

The clock struck six in the evening as a dark sedan pulled up to the curb outside of the lit up building. The driver got out and unlocked the door. As soon as she was inside, the door slammed shut, and the club was plunged into bright led lights. With all sorts of colors and textures, from vibrant colors to stark white, this kind of club seemed even more colorful than usual.

The woman you saw looked like she had never been to one before, though atleast one like this. She wore a uniform that had STARS written on it, along with a cap that had its signature symbol stamped on it. looked like some sort of star logo. Maybe you seen something like this before? Yes you have at the only police station in town because you visited once or twice to bail one of your closest friends out leaving a cute guy your number too.

The moment you did that turned to instant regret when there was a woman who couldn’t help but take her eyes off you, the same had gone for yourself. Never got the chance to exchange numbers or chat, so this would be a good time to show off to get the girl you’ve always wanted. The woman sat in a chair next to one of your buddies you recognized while working obviously they were there for the free drinks nothing more than to be the alcoholic they have always been.

Your friend noticed a girl sitting alone with no drink in hand by themself staring straight ahead in an almost trancelike state looking lost. You approached her and started talking to her asking if she was alright. She looked up and spoke not saying much and simply nodded. Deciding to introduce yourself she said her name was Jill.

Yet the uniform she was wearing couldn’t keep your eyes from trailing down her as if you wre undressing her with such a look. Taking notice immediately. “You’re a cop?” you asked, which caught you a bit off guard. “How do you know?” she responded, still looking at her, which confused yoy, since why else would you think she was a co, she replied. “Oh, sorry, I thought a cop wouldn’t be in a place like this.” You apologized. “No, I’m a cop but not momentarily.” She clarified. “But I am off duty right now just trying to live a little like my friends say.” She added smiling at you, whilst you can feel a strong gaze looking at you up and down.

“So what are you doing here?” she asked you with a raised brow.

“Well, I’ thought to party and let loose on the job I’m working here as a manager of the dancers.” Jill smiled again, “That’s great, I bet you make lots of money.”

“Yeah, actually I do! I earn like 40 bucks every week, plus tips.” You said.

“Sounds pretty lucrative.” She commented.

You nodded. “Not bad for a cute girl such as yourself. Say why don’t I take a couple shots here with you for a while?” You drank a bottle before you got into her lap, as you faced her reeking of alcohol intoxicated with it like you were swimming in a pool of booze.

Not long after you started acting under the influence of it, taking Jill’s hat off and wearing it as you pretended to ride her like a cowgirl, her gaze became fixed on you and only you.

“Let’s get you someplace else sha’ll we, then others won’t take advantage of you, sweet thing. What do you say?” Jill said seductively while stroking your cheek with her thumb.

“ya we Sha’ll.” You giggled drunkly. “Yes you’ll come home and I will make sure you get something out of this tonight, sweetheart.” Jill whispered seductively into your ear, while carrying you like a bride to her car.

You didn’t want anyone to see how drunk you were, nor did you want to stay in that club longer than needed. Once in her car Jill took control and drove you away. “What was the address?” Jill asked you as she drove. “I can’t remember.” Was your simple answer while trying to concentrate. “Don’t worry, I’ll drive you to my home safely.” She told you reassuringly. That’s right, she is the officer in charge of making sure nothing goes wrong for me.

That’s right, she’s in charge of making sure nothing happens to a pure girl under the influence of alcohol or anything is protected in any way. But even though you trusted the officer you were still quite confused about everything.

How does someone who is supposed to protect you know you just met have to be so fucking hot?

How did she have you wrapped around her little finger so fast? Where exactly does she plan to take this with you?

And most importantly how the hell does she know you haven’t done this kind of stuff before?

That you are still a virgin? Are you?

Have you ever done it? If so why the hell didn’t you tell someone!?

But none of those questions came to your mind, you weren’t thinking much of anything really. Just letting the woman take control of you for the time being. She was going to pay you for a good time at the club and possibly take what was rightfully hers when she first laid eyes on you in the station.

As you arrived at her house she carried you once again walking towards a bedroom, her bedroom. When you entered the room she threw you down onto the bed while getting on top of you straddling you. You started to help unbutton her shirt while feeling your face flushed a red. Jill removed your hands from her shirt then continued to remove her clothing.

After she was finished, she looked you in the eye again. Before assisting you in removing your clothes, after thus she grabbed something from a drawer looked to be a long curved object though you couldn’t tell because your eyes were closing. Feeling your stockings rip with your panties she lubricated the silicone strap-on before inserting it slowly into you and asking you “ngh..so t-tight. Is it okay if I move, sweet girl?” She asked gently. Hearing her speak that word made your insides tremble while your heart began racing faster and faster.

You opened your eyes and said yes, she moved and the pace increased gradually. She started moving in tandem with it, increasing speed and intensity until finally reaching where you need her the most. All of a sudden, it slowed down then stopped completely. She stared at you with lustful eyes, her expression changed slightly, her lips curled up slightly. Her voice sounded softer now. “You’re mine for the whole night.” That wasn' her words but she sounded so seductive, so sexy you couldn't say a word.

Her smile grew wider showing her teeth, and her tongue ran out, licking the tip of her tongue over her upper lip and she could already taste the liquor on your lips from earlier. Without warning she pushed herself further into you and your legs buckled a bit. “I’ve never— ah…felt like this before! mmh— my god— I love you, I love you so much— haah~!” You mumbled between each moan, Jill's body rocking with every sound you let loose with your moans. “Shhh...baby, baby, shhh I love you too. Just hold on tight and enjoy this for me. We’ll go slow, we have all the time in the world, and it will all be worth it once we're done.” With that, she sped up her movements.

Your entire body felt like it was exploding, you were on the brink of orgasm and you wanted to come but you couldn't. The more Jill rocked against you, the more your inner goddess was enjoying it. In addition her body rubbing against yours felt as if it was burning you up alive.

It was as if your nerves had become sensitive enough and your flesh had already hardened and ready to receive the ecstasy Jill was giving to you, while you were feeling all kinds of things. The pleasure Jill was giving you surpassed the limits making you scream her name “J-jill! O-oh~! f-fuck—” as your head fell back against the pillows with a loud thud, unable to control yourself, or yourself as it turns out. Jill's thrusts went on for some time, and eventually you couldn't stand it anymore crying out “C-Cant take no more! Please Jill~! Ah! I'm cumming!” you cried out as the climax took place causing the room to spin in circles while Jill’s thrusts became faster, harder, even deeper than before, causing her to start panting with every thrust.

She kept hitting her spot repeatedly until you exploded inside her, your inner goddess taking complete control over you and Jill. As the last wave of ecstasy hit you you lost your senses. Everything disappeared and you couldn’t focus on anything anymore. “You’re all mine sweet thing, I’m gonna fuck you till you cry for me.” Jill said in a gentle voice as she rolled off of you while continuing to lay on top of you. A few seconds later Jill kissed your nose tenderly and then said “Thank you for being so responsive for your first time, sweetie”. You smiled whilst blushing furiously, she gave you the best sex I ever experienced! “Mmm…” you responded softly, you didn’t want her to leave your side.

She caressed your cheek and replied “Shh, I love you so much baby, you can stay for as long as you need to and that you belong to me and only to me, so no one else.” You gazed into her gorgeous dark brown eyes with admiration, they were captivating. “Yeah I’m staying here forever.” You replied while kissing her passionately and then proceeded to fall asleep.

After you woke up from a deep slumber you sat up and noticed you hadn't gotten a single clue on where you were. All of a sudden you remembered everything that happened. Jill, how she got me to leave with her. How she seduced you from the moment you met her again. How she swept you off your feet from that strip club. You couldn’t forget it. It was unforgettable. You heard soft footsteps approaching and then you saw Jill holding two glasses filled with sparkling golden liquid in her hands. “Good morning, beautiful.” She said looking straight into your eyes while smiling. “good morning.” You replied while gazing into her beautiful brown eyes.

When Jill handed you one of the glasses you immediately recognized the contents of the glass. “Drink up, it’ll give you a little wake up call, sweetie.” Jill said before sipping her own drink. ‘Oh God, this is strong stuff. This must be a very expensive drink considering its quality. I wonder what it tastes like. You can never get enough of them these days.’ You thought while sipping it as she poured another glass and gave it to you, she placed her other hand on your shoulder and massaged your muscles. “So, darling you feel better today? You can relax now. We don’t have to be so strict with you anymore. Just like last night, it wasn’t too bad was it?” Jill said while putting both arms around your neck kissing you tenderly while running her fingers through your hair. The smell of the fruity drink and the kiss sent goosebumps down your body.

“Naw, not really, it felt great, actually. I’m still embarrassed you caught me like that tho…you’re such an expert!” you exclaimed looking directly into her diamond like eyes. “Well thank you sweetheart, but I’ve been wanting to do that since I met you. Now that I know that you really aren’t a virgin anymore , everything has to change. You’re mine now, and nothing can stop that.”

“Hmmm...yeah...okay I guess.” You whispered softly trying to suppress the blush on your cheeks. She peppered you in kisses before taking you by the hand pulling you closer to her, rocking you back and forth in her arms.

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A/N: Trying something different with my story themes/layouts bc I had thought it looked a little plain so I wanted to spice things up! ;)

#resident evil #resident evil 🚔 #jill valentine smut #jill valentine x reader #jill valentine #jill valentine x fem! reader #jill valentine imagine #jill valentine x you #jill valentine x y/n #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #resident evil jill #jill resident evil #lesbian

[cosmcqt]

i'll never smile again, until i smile at you

{pre re5! Jill Valentine x f! reader} + {platonic! Chris Redfield x f!reader}

TW: death, depression, mild violence

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 “I don’t believe you” You said, shaking your head as your grip began to falter from the teapot within your grasp. The two men stayed silent, one of them, who you knew quite well, continued to stare at you with hurt, unable to give you a response in return to your disbelief. Shaking your head once more, “Chris what kind of sick joke is this?” You scoffed quickly, turning your back towards the two men in an attempt to hold yourself together. Any moment now, Jill would walk through that door, like she always did. You knew that because she promised you, every mission she went on, she always promised. 

  “I’m sorry” His deep voice echoed through your ears. As much as you’ve joked together in the past. Chris couldn’t find it himself to even crack a single one in this circumstance. You stayed silent, unable to even believe the news he just came to give you. Just a few weeks ago, you, him, and Jill were having drinks. Celebrating a joyful occasion, what were you celebrating? You couldn’t even think about the celebration that occurred that week after hearing the news your best friend just came to tell you. “What…?” you quietly asked, Chris was about to apologize once more until you quickly cut him off. 

  “You’re sorry? Is that what I heard? For fucks sake, YOU were with her!” You snapped, dropping the teapot from your clutch, only able to hear it clang on the wooden floor. Piers, the man with Chris who just couldn’t stay quiet. “Captain Redfield did the best he could, I understand what you're feeling but please don’t take it out on him” He said, attempting to lighten Chris’s burden in any way he could. They both watched you as you calmly picked up the teapot, seeing yourself in its shiny reflection, you stared at it for some time. You were seething. Seething with so much emotion you yourself couldn’t pinpoint what to feel at this exact time. You lost her, Jill. That's right, it was all coming together now. You were celebrating their small lead in finding Wesker, that's why you all were celebrating. That fact alone causes you to throw the teapot right towards Pier’s head.

Although the throw was fast enough for Chris to step in and catch it himself. Pier’s eyes widened, as he turned his head towards his captain, who shook his head and signaled him to leave the two of you alone. Piers almost declined the request, until he saw the way you held yourself, shakily as if you could fall at any moment. Understanding that you were no longer a threat to the two of them, he nodded his head and walked out of your kitchen.  

 Chris closed his eyes as he maintained his frame, not allowing himself to falter in any way in front of you as he made a promise to Jill to be there for you. The fight with Wesker kept playing in his head. Jill tackling Wesker for his sake, he squinted his eyes at the thought of remembering it all. “Chris, do you remember that day we went out for drinks?” Your weak tone brought him out of his thoughts.

  Turning his gaze towards you, as you were propped by the counter with your gaze still to the floor.  “I do remember” He responded, “We had finally found Wesker’s location” He smiled softly, remembering how rowdy the three of you were that day. So rowdy, you and Chris were plastered enough for Jill to draw on your  faces while you both were knocked out. You barely managed a smile, but the little warmth you felt erupted in your chest from remembering that day. Tears streamed through your eyes, sliding your back down the kitchen counter, you held your face as you cried into the palms of your hands. Chris crouched next to you as he patted you back. He knew you weren’t mad at him, or would blame him. The three of you knew one another well enough to know what this field entailed, yet knowing Jill was the one to go before the two of you was too much to bear. The pain still remained no matter who you wanted to point fingers at. 

 “I proposed to her” you revealed, Chris’s eyes widened at the information as he stared at you in shock. “That day when we went out for drinks actually” You smiled sadly, remembering the way Jill rejected the thought as she believed you were too drunk to function. “I was planning on proposing someday, seeing her shine with pride that day, I couldn’t bear it. In my head, sober or not, I wanted to marry her” You sniffled, tears threatening to spill again. 

“But she said no. '' Chris finished your sentence already, knowing what could’ve been going through Jill’s head at the time. It also tugged at his heart strings, knowing why. You nodded your head in confirmation “The way she looked at you, believe me, I saw it the first day we met in that dusty office back in raccoon city. She wanted to be yours someday too” He said with a soft smile, remembering how Jill was enamored by your presence the first time you two met. He felt like your guy's biggest wingman back then. In yours and Jill’s eyes, he was still your biggest wingman. “Thanks for saying that” the smile on your face began to fade, “I wish I could’ve heard it from her” You teared up again, this time Chris embraced you into a hug. His buff arms engulfed you in a warm hug, to which you knew was coming from his heart as he faltered in communication with the amount of missions he’s been on, turning him colder. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you enough how much I wished it was me. “ Chris said, you shook your head. “Don’t do that Chris” You said, pushing his hug enough for you to look into his eyes. “Don’t do that to yourself, Jill just did exactly what she knew you’d do for me or her.” You said, engulfing him into a hug, “You are equally important to us, as we are to you.” He hugged you back, almost squeezing you. Although you knew he was going through it just as much as you were. Silence filled the room as you two platonically embraced eachother. 

  “Please tell that guy I’m sorry” You sighed, as you remembered how you threw a teapot at Pier’s head. He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it, he understands” Chris reassured as you sniffled and nodded.

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cosmcqt: pls have mercy idk i just wanted to write something with jill in it, hope u like it!

#jill valentine x reader #jill valentine #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield #resident evil 5