#jensen was saying ‘some people even in this panel were saying they couldn’t wait to go back (after the filming hiatus)

[sunglassesmish]

the way misha always puts his hand on jensen’s shoulder so he doesn’t interrupt him but signals he wants to say something… it gets me everytime

#my gifs #cockles #jensen ackles #jensen was saying ‘some people even in this panel were saying they couldn’t wait to go back (after the filming hiatus) #and misha was like ‘that was a private conversation between us’ and jensen goes ‘i didn’t say who!’ #and that’s where it cuts off #and what i didn’t show was misha saying ‘that was a private moment’ and then they both look away smiling and misha goes #‘unbelievable. is nothing sacred’ #anyways. i didn’t add that frankly because it’s too long

[canonicallysoulmates]

Another year has come and gone, and y’all know what that means, it’s time to look back at some of the j2 moments 2022 has given us. 

We start the year with the boys excited at the opportunity to work together again, with Jensen set to join Jared on the Walker set to direct an episode! When asked about it during Dallascon in February Jared said that he couldn’t wait, and that the most exciting part for him was going to be getting to introduce a lot of the cast and crew to one of the people who helped him grow up and helped him learn how to do what he does, and that he would be showing Jensen off on set. And show him off he did! But let's not get ahead of ourselves...

March and April were packed with j2 goodies from the Walker set!

We got the boys in matching shirts ❤️:

Some social media husbandness:

"You can direct me any time" We know, Jared. We know 😏

The cute fun of Jared getting Jensen a different chair back for each day he was there directing:

When asked what it had been like to work together again the boys were sweet and sentimental answering, that it was like they never stopped.

And Jensen saying about his shorthand with Jared that: "There’s nobody else I can do that with. He and I have that, and we’ll always have that. That’s not something that fades away."

Y'all know I'm not gonna forget to mention that Jared gave the cast and crew a whole speech, on Jensen's birthday, telling them about how important Jensen has been in his life! 💕 

March also gave us not one but two public date nights! One to a UFC fight:

And the second when Jensen took Jared to The Boys EW party!

Before we continue I feel like I'd be remiss to not take a second to mention that April ended on a scare because Jared did have a bad car accident which we found out about through Jensen, who is the person Jared gave permission to reveal the news. So, let's take a second to be thankful for our boy's health and well being🙏

Continuing on to happier things, and the rest of the year....

We got matching husbands at the CW Upfronts:

So handsome 😍

We love a supportive hubby:

In Jared’s third appearance on Rosenbaum's podcast he gushed about Jensen saying the most beautiful stuff like:

About introducing Jensen to the Walker cast and crew:

Making it clear that he loves and belives in Jensen:

And these are just snippets, this man gushed about Jensen several times, and for like 5mins and he would have done it for longer if Rosenbaum hadn't stopped him.

During the gold panel of Orlcon Jared was struggling with the heat so Jensen got him a fan for the main panel:

He's always taking care of his boy 🥰

He also had some lovely things to say about Jared producing his own show post-spn, saying that he doesn’t know many people in their profession personally that is more well equipped than Jared to do that job and he’s doing it now with grace and dignity and talent and success.

During Torcon Jared was all emotional, and he even cried, and at one point somebody in the crowd shouted at Jared to not start crying again so Jensen jumped to his defense saying he could cry if he wanted to.

Because of work Jared was not able to join Jensen at JIB but distance is not gonna stop these two and we still got some lovely moments like how Jared described Jensen: Jensen’s loyal, strong, and kind like a lab. He’s not as boisterous but he’s down for anything and he can do anything. He’s always up to work hard, he’s a loyal friend, a loyal family member. So he’d be like a lab you can count on him, he’s always gonna be there for you. 💕

And Jensen saying that Jared completes him 💞

Which he tries to play off and acts all bashful about yet a minute earlier he was talking about Jared's farts saying how he doesn't miss them and then going “maybe a little bit”. Its been months and I still haven't been able to process this because do you know how much you have to love someone to miss their farts? This is both cute and gross.

September gave us date night!

x

There was this soft moment during Kansascon:

Jensen shared that he has told the story of how he and Jared met on the Big Sky set 🥺

This is not really a hat thing but I'm really proud of them for this so I'm taking a second to include it, they got honored by the former mayor of Lawrence, Kansas! They were presented with a proclamation that Lawrence, Kansas is the official hometown of Sam and Dean Winchester, and they even got license plates with Jared’s saying Lil Bro and Jensen’s saying Baby.

Jared got sick with covid, again, so he was not able to attend Vancon but Jensen was thinking of his boy 😭:

During Phoenixcon we got a glimpse as to how they handle their currently long distance relationship with the boys answer basically boiling down to them being used to having to be away from loved ones and having to go long stretches without seeing someone they hold so dear but when they are together they are present in the moment.

We end the year with flirting, heart eyes, fondness, the boys making each other laugh and this:

Btw, this was Jared's reaction to a fan saying that men who choose Ryan Gosling - which Jensen did - tend to be more romantic.

We also got the reminder that Jared and Jensen share underwear😏

And that my friends are some of the j2 moments 2022 gave us!

Much like years prior, I hope this post acts as a little beacon of positivity and a reminder of the love that these two men continue to share. May 2023 gift us with even more wonderful moments💌

Happy New Years! 🥂

#j2 tinhat #happy new years my fellow hats! #at this point this post is tradition #mine #j2 yearly recap #i'm gonna go spend some time with my fam now see y'all in 2023

[arwenadreamer]

Arwena’s JiB 12 experiences

The Jared calls

Jared made two video calls during JiB. One on Saturday, one on Sunday.

I missed the one on Saturday. My friends even posted in our group chat that “Jared is here”, but I didn’t look at my cellphone. I was busy standing in line getting my Jensen autograph. (And yes, getting his auto was great too, but there would have been other times I could have gotten that. I have no one but myself to blame for leaving right after Jensen’s panel and deciding that Misha’s panel would be a good time to get the Jensen auto. While I was waiting in line, there were two or three people who left in a real hurry. Whish they would have told anyone that they were running to the panel room. Or I wish the JiB organisers would have announced the call. This is really the only criticism I have towards the JiB organisation. Otherwise they did the best they could under more than difficult circumstances, but that’s another post.) When I learned about the call later, I was close to tears for having missed it. But I got another chance on sunday, so there’s that. 

So now that I’ve watched the video from Jared’s saturday call, here are some highlights:

Shep appeared briefly. Jared asked him whether he wanted to be an actor. Shep: “Shure!”

Misha: “We miss you, Jared. We genuinely miss you.”

Jared: “Honestly, I miss you all so much I could cry.”

Jared made a wish. (Because it was 11:11 at Austin? Is that a thing?) He said the wish had something to do with being back in Italy before the end of 2022.

Yes, Jared, I so hope you will be able to make it to JiB 11. My final chance to meet you.

He explained that he couldn’t make it to JiB, because they were location dependent for Walker, as they were currently filming in an abandoned mental hospital. And they only had the location for Thursday, Friday and Monday.

(Before anyone says he could have made it to Rome for Saturday and Sunday: no, he couldn’t. Consider the time difference of 7 hours that would have to be added to the time for a nearly 10 000 km flight.)

Misha gave the phone to a fan who had a question. She said it was a “Jensen hand me down question”. She then clarified that the question was for both but that Jensen had to answer for him. And that is when it became clear that she tried to ask my question. And I could cry tears of joy just for that alone. (Yes, I know, a lot of tears. I’m emotional about the whole weekend, ok?) But the the fan had trouble formulating the question, and Misha cut it short and said (in good fun) “Ok, Jared, no one has a question”. That’s when Jared started to talk and he couldn’t understand the poor fan anymore, who still tried to say the question. (It was hard for Jared to understand what was being said, even with the microphone.) Finally, and I think this was a different fan who jumped in, they asked “what was your favourite story arc of 15 seasons for Sam?”  And I love that question too. Also, since my question has not been handed to Jared yet, I’ll get a chance to ask him at JiB11. :-) Jared said it was season 8 story arc and then talked about similarities between Sam and Jared, and how Jared searched inside himself for what Sam would go through. Not wanting to let people down (Sam not wanting to let Dean down.) And the season leading to Sacrifice.

So I guess in a way that could be the answer to my question as well. (What of Sam’s personality was hardest to act?) Or the opposite. Was it hard or easy to act Sam’s insecurities and mental breakdown when Jared could relate so well? I guess both would be true for Jared.

After another question about a possible Supernatural sequel and some broken connection Jared says that he and Jensen have talked about ideas. Like, what would happen if Sam and Dean ended up back on earth somehow after their death.

Misha had to leave to do autographs so Daniella (Con Organiser) took over the microphone, but the connection became worse, so they ended the call.

On Sunday, Jared called during a Ruth and Adam Rose panel. I was there and was overjoyed! (The following is from memory, without the video next to me. So no guarantee for accuracy.)

Someone asked Jared to type the other actors as dogs, and Jared gave very sweet, warm and insightful answers. Like, he made sure to say positive things about Jensen, Ruth, Misha to explain each type of dog he would choose. (I’m sorry, I’m not good with dog races, so I don’t remember which. But he chose a very loyal race for Jensen for example.) The funiest thing was, though, that Ruth asked repeatedly “And Adam?” But Jared didn’t understand. He understood Misha instead, so answered for him. Then Adam asked “And me?”, and Jared was like “Who?” “Adam!” Jared couldn’t hear. Adam, screaming into the mic: “IT’S ADAM ROSE!!!!!!” Jared still genuinely didn’t understand. Everyone was laughing. Adam finally went off stage and over to the computer to show his face in the camera. You could see the moment Jared saw him, and his recognition face was so funny.

My friend @takikojou got to ask Jared a question, and she did all of us Jared girls a huge favour! She asked when Walker would be back with his family after being abducted, and Jared said that it would be a while! That he would suffer a bit. He mentioned that Gen had taken a video of him and Odette a day before, and that he hadn’t taken off his makeup after work. You can clearly see “bruises” on his cheek. So yeah, he’s in a bit of trouble. Take that information, together with the abandoned asylum that they were at least shooting episode two in, and I think we will be in for some Cordell whump treat in season 3!!! (Yes, I’m bad, I know. But I’m not sorry!)

Thank you for asking just the right question, takikojou!!!

There were more very sweet moments in the video calls, but these are the ones that stood out most to me. I’m so glad he took the time and made the effort, even though communication was difficult at times due to bad connection.

I’ll add the link to the videos:

#arwenas jib 12 experiences #Jared Padalecki #jib 12 #the Jared calls #Youtube

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

#jackles long con #unparalled media experience #desticule #dean is bi #spn tinhatting #ben hur treatment #dean was always bi #jackles sexy silence #jensen ackles #spn meta #spngate #spn bts #spn behind the scenes #ben edlund #ben hur #bedlund #spn metacanon #i went off #I really do believe that bedlund ben hur'd Jensen #spn gaslighting #JENSEN WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL #my asks #caslighting #original content #long post #this has been stewing for a long time #reference #oh do help me this is somehting other people know way more about. #deranged #spn homophobia

[dreadpoetssociety]

Fevers Don’t Exist

TW: Fever ? (I’m not sure what counts for triggers so pls lmk if I miss anything)

Prompt: hi!! could u do one maybe where like, the reader is an actress on supernatural and she plays like their younger sister on the show or something and she gets sick at a con or something? Thanks !!

NOTE: Hey guys, I’m alive!!!! I know I have a lot of Spencer prompts atm, but it’s really hard to write them when I’m not like, hyper focused on Criminal Minds. I am going to try though! So sorry I’ve left so many of you in the wind, I am a very inconsistent person, my bad. But here’s this! It’s REALLY bad because I’m terrible at being realistic but like idk it’s something.

I really don’t even know what to put for tags on this. 

()()()()()() 

Ah, September. You knew what came along every September, and looked forward to it for the first eight months of every year. Secaucus, New Jersey. You loved every con you went to, truly. Everyone was so nice, you love staying in hotels, panels are such a great time, the whole thing. It's a great experience outside of the set to get connected with fans. And, they loved you almost as much as you loved them. You were typically closer in age, since you were still just a teenager. You also started out as a fan of the show before somehow snatching a role, so you really were with them at one point. Everything that excites them excited you just as much. And, you loved making friends with them. You weren't allowed to be reckless with your phone number, so you made a snapchat that you shared exclusively with con goers, whom you made swear to secrecy. It was like a club, and you just enjoyed genuinely talking to everyone. But, when you woke up that first morning, you knew it was going to be a long day. Your body ached, and you were still pretty exhausted. You had a fever, but didn't really know if it was a fever because you were still young, and God forbid you ever decided to recognize the signs of you being sick. It was almost like a form of denial, not knowing. You were sweating, but freezing, and your throat felt particularly dry. Your headache rested underneath your eyes for the most part, to which you just blamed on being tired. Your stomach didn't hurt, but you definitely weren't hungry. Even though you hadn't felt exactly 100% the past days before, and you obviously weren't feeling right now, you just deduced that it was all because you were tired, and had a late flight in. As a responsible person does, of course. You didn't even bother taking any medicine for it, because hey, you obviously weren't sick, you'd feel better in a bit, and you didn't have any, so why waste the time, right? 

You groggily got dressed and met up with "the boys" (even though they were all older than you) for the free breakfast downstairs, in a separate room, since fans did happen to stay in the same hotel. You grabbed some Cheerios, only to conspicuously throw them away after. 

"You good, Y/N?" Jared asked out loud, gaining the attention of Jensen, Misha, and Alex. You could feel their eyes burning through your skin. Or, maybe that was the fever. It had to be their eyes, you convinced yourself, you didn't have a fever. You were fine. 

"Yeah, why?" you asked, faking the perk in your voice and confused eyes. Your eyes felt really heavy, you noticed. 

"You just... You look exhausted. And pale." he said, "And you threw away that cereal without eating any of it." 

You looked down at yourself as an effect for what you were about to say, "Wow, well that's one way to make me self-conscious. I thought I looked kind of poppin'." you laughed slightly, trying to play it off. 

"W-wait, no that's- that's not what I meant! You look fine, I just-" he was embarrassed. You and the others chuckled.

"I'm kidding. I'm all good, just went to bed late, y'know?" you smiled. It was hard to try and mask the rasp in your voice, and doing so made you feel the need to cough, so you downed some water until it dialed down a bit. He nodded. In your mind, you blessed your acting skills, thinking you got away with it. What you didn't know was that Misha, Jensen, and Jared, as fathers do, knew every trick in the book, and each noted to keep an eye on you. Not to mention, they'd been acting far longer than you had, and could just tell when one switches into a character. They all figured that if you weren't sick now, you would be in days to come, and exchanged glances with each other, while Alex innocently continued to chew on his toast. 

"Well, if you're tired, I don't think you have a panel or anything for another hour or something, maybe you could catch up on some sleep then." Jared suggested. You shrugged.

"Nah," you said, "I've got photo-ops in like, twenty minutes. I should actually probably get going. I'll catch up later!" 

You left with a wave, and disappeared into the hotel somewhere. You stopped in your room, allowing yourself finally to set free the coughs living in the back of your throat. You blamed it on your throat being dry since you didn't drink enough water. Not on germs. So, you grabbed two water bottles from the small fridge in your room, and left, making your way towards the convention center.

  You felt slightly better during photo-ops, which just confirmed in your mind that it was impossible that you were sick right now. You smiled and talked to everyone. There was one girl, who introduced herself as Meredith, who stuck out in your mind. She gave you this super cool hand painted keychain, which you very excitedly put on your keys instantly.

"Dude, I've been looking for a cool keychain. Not just one of those janky ones you find at like 7-11, like a cool one. This is so exciting." you smiled genuinely. You had just recently bought yourself a car, and thought that your keys looked a little lonely, and searched for hours on Etsy for something to spice it up a bit. A weird obsession, thinking about it now.

She laughed, "I'm glad you like it!"

"Hell, yeah! Now, are there any poses you wanna do? Or do you just want to hit that casual look? I could make it look like I'm meeting you." you stupidly rambled. One of your traits that was so widely known was how funny and awkward (in a good way) that you were. It took you a long time to get to that point, though, because you were always anxious about meeting others. You still are every now and then, but it's different here. 

"I was just hoping to get a hug." she said, "If that's okay with you." 

"Yeah, that's cool!" you wrapped your arms around each other and shot the camera a grin. The girl looked a bit confused. 

"Hey," she said, quietly, "are you like, okay? You feel really hot."

Nervously, you replied, "Oh, no, yeah totally fine. I'm just wearing two layers, and it's getting spicy in here."

"Yeah," she answered, "don't push yourself, okay?"

"I won't, thank you. It was really nice meeting you!" 

"You, too! Thanks!" she waved goodbye and you moved on to the last few people in line. She was right, though. You realized that you felt worse than you did when you walked in. You thought it had gone away for a while, but now it was just amplified. You noticed you were cold again, but that you were sweating as well. It must've just been the temperature in the room. These conventions aren't always able to keep a steady temp in the entire building, right?

This day, you didn't have much to do. Most of your events were on the other days to come. You had one panel in a few hours, and then a panel with Jared, Jensen, and Misha a few hours after that, and then bam, the day was over. You just had to get through those two events. Just two. 

Two, events. And both were an hour. So, two hours out of the day. Rookie work. Yet, as your panel approached, the headache had expanded from under your eyes to anywhere that there was space to hurt, your throat ached and so did your lungs from how much you were going off somewhere to cough in privacy, your body felt heavy, you couldn't tell if you were hot or cold at this point it was some weird combination of both, your stomach hurt just slightly, the world was moving around you a bit more than it usually would, and the fever you "didn't" have had climbed a degree, probably two. And, at some point during the day, you got pretty congested. You felt like you could just fall asleep at any moment. Jared and Jensen happened to be walking by where you had been waiting by yourself, away from any congoers or employees, and noticed that even though you were leaning against a wall, you somehow were still swaying.

"Y/N?" Jensen called out, worried. You heard him, you knew you were supposed to respond, but didn't know how. Maybe you did have a fever, and maybe you sort of let it out of control. It was like you were comprehending them, but not at the same time. You heard everything, but it just swept right through your feverish mind. The walked in front of you and examined you within seconds. You felt Jared's cold, really abnormally large man hand sweep your hair back and land on your forehead. 

"J, she's burning up." you felt another hand on your face. You, quite exhaustedly, swatted it away. They couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so bad so quickly. You were sick this morning, but not to this degree. They knew then that you had just shrugged it off all day, and your teenage fever brain probably didn't even think to take any kind of medicine or anything for it, even if you were trying to hide it.

"I'm good. Just tired. Fevers don’t exist." you finally mumbled, taking a few deep breathes, which you hadn't really been able to do in a bit without being rudely interrupted by a bone-shaking cough. It felt nice, almost. The boys sighed at you and shook their heads. 

"Y/N, you should go back to your room and get some rest. We can bring you some stuff that'll help." Jared suggested. You shook your head and opened your eyes, which somehow felt even heavier.

"Nah," you said to them, "I've got a panel, I think, in like, I ‘dunno, some minutes or something. Something I-" you pushed yourself off the wall to try and make your way somewhere, but stumbled a step or two, which result in Jensen and Jared instinctively to grab you in order to keep you steady.

"Like hell we're letting you go to that, Y/N, you can't even form a sentence, or stand for that matter. You're out of your mind. We're going to bring you back now, we'll take care of your panel thing." Jensen stated pretty sternly. You were about to fight back, and they could see it, but you coughed a few times, and they could almost feel it in their own chests. You just nodded in defeat.

"Yeah, maybe I could just like, sleep, for an hour or two." you whispered, tiredly. The two were still holding you steady, and could see you already falling asleep before even going anywhere. 

"Or six, by the looks of it." Jared joked lightly.

"Poor kid." Jensen said to Jared as the were walking out of your room. They helped you get there, and you were gone before you even saw the bed, "Why do they always have to pretend like they aren't sick? Look where it gets them."

"Don't know, man. You can't talk, though. You literally tell people you are immune to illness." Jared laughed quietly, shutting you door.

"Well I am. I am the perfect example of health. I don't get sick." 

"Yeah," Jared rolled his eyes, "Right. Watch you catch what Y/N has. You practically carried her all the way here. There's no way you're escaping it." Walking towards the center, the back way of course, Jensen scoffed, "Please, germs take one look at me and know not to mess this up. And, by the logic, that means you're already infected, too. So, tell me, princess, what sort of soup do you want spoon-fed?" 

Again, Jared rolled his eyes, and the two laughed. They weren't making fun of you, they were making fun of each other, and knew that you would've wanted in on that action.

"Y/N probably would've destroyed us if she heard that. Something along the longs of 'You want me to tuck you in? Carry you bridal style?'" Jared pitched his voice a tone higher for it. Again, the two men laughed.

They made their way backstage of what's supposed yo be your panel, and informed the crew about what was going on. They were just going to fill in for you, probably tell a few embarrassing stories.

When they made their way through the curtain, the crowd shouted. They were obviously excited to see the two leads, but also were obviously confused. "Alright, you're probably confused." Jensen stated the obvious, "Because obviously, we look nothing like Y/N, and thank God she does not look like us." The crowd laughed.

"Anyway, Y/N can't make it today. She's really sick-" the crowd cut Jared off with a unison "awe." People yelled out that they hoped she felt better, tell her to take care of herself, and so on.

"Yeah, poor kid looked like she was just going to fall asleep right where she was standing. She literally tried to come anyway, like, kid, you're making no sense. Y/N couldn't really fight against us, though, so she's sleeping now." Jensen explained, "So we came here to chat in her stead, but just know she really was planning on coming. That kid loves you guys." and again, the "awe" rolled through the crowd. 

"If she wasn't sick, she could totally kick both your-" the last word was cut off, but was implied anyway, someone screamed from the crowd, which resulted in laughter.

"Yeah, probably. Even if we were stronger than her," sarcastically, of course, "she'd still beat us. Kid's too fast, and I'm too old." Jared laughed.

In the last ten minutes of the panel, Jared decided to give you call. Not only to check in on you, but so you could at least say hi to your crowd. When you heard the phone ring, you groggily opened your eyes and aimlessly reached for it.

"Hello?" you answered. Jared almost frowned at how sick you sounded, even with just one word.

"Y/N?" Jensen stepped in, "It's Jensen."

"Unfortunate." you sighed exhaustedly. It was joke, a really tired one, but still enough to make the crowd laugh.

"We're here at your panel, we thought you might want to say hi." Jared said loudly, holding the speaker of his phone to the microphone. 

"Panel?" you asked. Panel? What panel? Your delirious mind was clearly confused, "Who's that?" 

"Y/N, the con. The convention panel?" Jensen actually sounded worried. They probably should've thought to give you some sort of medicine to do something about the fever you had before they'd left.

"Oh," you closed your eyes again, almost falling asleep, before remembering finally what it was they meant, and after a moment, "Oh! Crap, the panel thing, I'm late."

"No, Y/N, stay there, we've got it covered remember? You can't come. You can say hi to them, though." Jensen interjected quickly.

"Okay, hi guys." you just followed as told.

The crowd responded with a series of hello's. 

"'M really sorry. I hope they aren't boring you." the two men could practically hear you closing your eyes. The crowd responded in inaudible chatter. Jensen and Jared walked from the mic for a second.

"Sorry if we woke you, kid." Jared apologized, having just realized they probably could've left you alone, "W also just wanted to check in. See how you're doing."

"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked, but got a mumbled word in response, "Alright, well, just go back to sleep, we'll be up there soon." 

Jared hung up the phone, and the two began to answer the last few questions and close up. They waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and started heading back your way.

"Jensen, you got any over the counters with you? Thermometers or anything? All I've got is Advil, and I don't even know what's really bothering her yet other than that cough and being tired."

"Yup. Danneel always makes me carry literally an entire medicine cabinet, just for these moments. I'll go get 'em and meet you there. It'd probably do her some good to eat something, too. I don't know if she's got like, a stomach virus thing going on, though." Jensen answered.

"I'll see what she'll say and let you know." 

The two parted ways, and Jared made his way to you. Even though he'd only talked to you just a few minutes before, you were dead to the world by the time he opened the door. The room was boiling, and Jared looked over to the thermostat to see that you'd at some point put it on to 90 degrees. 

"Jesus, Y/N, I know you've got a fever, but damn." he said, more so to himself than to you. He looked over at you after turning it down to see you curled beneath what looked like any blanket you could find. He came over and started removing the blankets slowly, and shook you gently to wake you up.

"Y/N, wake up for a minute, it's Jared."

"'Mm." was all you said, until you realized your layers of warmth had been moved, "What're doing? It's cold."

"Y/N, you're dripping in sweat. It's the fever making you cold."

"I don't have a fever." you retorted, "I'm good. Just tired."

"Kid, you've been tired the whole day. You've been sleeping this whole time." he tried rationalizing.

"I have?" you questioned, closing you eyes again. Jared put his hand to your forehead again. Somehow, it was warmer than the first time he'd done it before the panel. It was then that Jensen finally appeared, a whole bag of things in hand, "Could you bring the thermometer over?"

"Yeah, gotcha." He walked over and rummaged through the bag at the same time, pulling out a thermometer.

"Y/N, we need to take your temperature." Jensen said.

"No need." you said, "'M not sick."

"You are so obviously sick, I'm not asking." again with that stern voice. Jared gave him a "Hey, she's sick, back off a little" sort of look, but it had worked, and you let them take your temp. They were almost shocked when the thing beeped at 103.

"Should we take her to a hospital? That's way too high." Jared asked. 

"If it gets any higher, yes, but let's see if we can bring it down first." Jensen replied.

"No hospitals." you demanded, opening your eyes and glaring at them. 

"We aren't bringing you yet, Y/N, but I need you to eat this so you can take some meds." he held out two pieces of toast that he must've brought from his room. You hated toast even when you weren't sick.

"I'm not really hungry." 

"I know, but it'll help. You haven't told us what's bothering you yet, either." Jared responded.

"Nothing's-" you coughed a few times, a bit violently, "bothering me." "We can see that." Jensen said sarcastically.

"Everything's bothering me." you whispered, giving up.

"Your stomach hurt?" Jensen asked. You waved your hand from side to side to signal a so-so, "Think you'll get sick at all?"

"No, it's not like that, I don't think." you breathed out, another cough escaping you. You took a few bites out of the toast. It made you uncomfortable, but it was then that you realized you probably felt that way since you really hadn't eaten much that day or the one before, which probably contributed to the splitting headache. It didn't go away after, either though. You pushed yourself up. You almost fell over, but Jared put a hand out for you.

"Alright, good. Take this. I'm going to be frank, it tastes disgusting." Jensen handed over a small cup of liquid, "Sometimes, if you take it like a shot, it helps. But you shouldn't know how to take shots, but if you do it, I won't judge." And so you did, causing the two to chuckle slightly at you. 

"You were right, about the sleep thing." you slumped back onto the bed heavily, like a brick.

"When am I ever wrong?" Jensen asked, "Don't answer that, actually."

But you were already sleeping again, and the boys decided to stay nearby for now. The next panel wasn't for another few hours anyway, and they just didn't want you to be alone. Also, incase you were wrong about the toast, and it decided to make its return. Jared's phone began to ring loudly, to which he very quickly tried to answer so his obnoxious ringtone wouldn't wake you up again, not that you wouldn't have just fallen back asleep anyway.

"Misha? Hey, what's up?" Jared answered. Jensen walked over to hear what was going on on the other side of the line, but Jared just decided to put it on speaker.

"Where are you guys? I haven't seen you all day. Felicia, Alex, and I are going out for lunch, we were wondering if you guys want to come. I tried calling Y/N, but she didn't answer, so." he rambled.

"That's because Y/N's not feeling well." Jensen said, giving him a solution to his predicament of not being answered, "We're with her right now, so we'll have to pass."

"She's sick? Is she okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. She's just got this crazy fever we've been trying to bring down. Thinking about it now, Jensen, we should probably check it again." 

"A fever?"

"It's been at 103 degrees for like, two hours. At least for what we know of. She's probably had one all day, but as a dumb teenager does, she just tried to ignore it." 

"If it goes up you should-"

"Yeah, we know," Jared said, "we're trying really hard to avoid that, though. Also, she'll definitely fight against it, I don't know." 

Jensen, from the other side of the room at the sound of a beeping thermometer, could be heard on Misha's end, "It went down, finally. 102.2."

"Thank God, I was getting worried."

"Should I come there? Do you guys need any help?" Misha asked.

"I mean you can, but I think we're good. She's just been trying to sleep it off the whole time, so not much is really going on." Jensen was closer to the phone now, "Like, she's got this cough, a headache, and you can hear how congested she sounds, but mostly I think she's just exhausted. I honestly don't know how because she's just been sleeping for hours."

"Fatigue."

"Yeah, poor kid. I don't think I've ever seen her so tired, it almost makes me tired to be honest." Jensen joked.

"Maybe you're just getting sick." Jared slipped in.

"Not possible. I am immune."

"Nobody is immune, Jensen." Misha sighed.

"I'm not nobody." he shrugged. 

"Alright, well, we're going to get lunch then. If you need anything let me know, and tell her I hope she feels better." Misha concludes.

"We will, thanks Misha." and with that, Jared hung up. For a few more hours, the two hung around. They were there when you woke from some fever dreams, and when you needed a cough drop, or twelve, and wake you up every now and then to check your temperature, which raised and dropped and raised and dropped, but currently was at a very steady 102.4. But, soon enough, it was time for them to leave for the last panel of the day, and unsurprisingly, you tried to follow suit.

"Y/N, we gotta go, but we'll be back in about an hour from the panel." Jared said. You took a deep breath and sluggishly pushed yourself to the side of the bed. Having been sick, and not having sat up in a few hours, the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy.

"What're you doing?" Jensen asked.

"The panel. I missed the last one I should go to this one. I feel okay." you yawned, then coughed slightly.

"Y/N, really, you shouldn't even think about pushing it like that." Jared said. Jensen walked over to you, half on the bed, clearly trying to steady yourself just from the movement of sitting up. The spinning room honestly almost made the toast make a reprise, and you hiccupped, and held your breath.

"Hey," Jensen grabbed a can quickly, noticing, "are you going to be sick?"

Giving it a minute, it went away, and you shook you head no, causing a huge tension to leave the room.

"Alright, well, remember how you said I was right all the time earlier?" Jensen pun the can down.

"No, must've been the fever." you half joked, causing Jared to laugh. 

"Alright- well- okay, shut up. We agreed I'm always right, and that I was right about needing sleep, so I say you need some more." Jensen demanded rather than suggested. 

"Yeah, or at least lay around and do nothing. I can't imagine ever sleeping as much as you just did." Jared joked, pushing you very gently back down, with his hand on your back, knowing you would just hit the bed without it. Your eyes were heavy again, and your throat was painfully dry, and you coughed. Your aching head also agreed with the two of them to your dismay.

"Maybe just a bit more." you mumbled, "A few minutes."

"Yeah a few minutes, sure." Jared smiled, knowing you were probably going to knock out for a few hours once again. You opened your eyes again.

"You think," you coughed, "that they'll be mad?

"Who?" Jensen asked.

Feeling pretty sick, you said, "That I don't go? I don’t feel really good."

Ah, the fever comes to play once again, it seems, but the two felt some sort of triumph now that you've at least admitted to being sick, even if it's been hours. It concerned them, though, if you felt bad enough to admit it.

"No, they'll be fine about it. We'll be back soon. Misha or Alex might come in to check on you, alright?" Jared answered, to which you nodded.

They weren't gone long. You spent half the next day sleeping, too, until you could stand without swaying. You did sneak back to the con, against Jensen and Jared's orders, since you really didn't break that fever and cough for a few more days, only to be caught after a tweet of you at the con was trending and the cast caught wind of it. But, eventually, you were better, and got the chance to help Jared take care of an "always immune" Jensen. And he was more stubborn than you were.

#jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x y/n #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #jared padalecki x you #jared padalecki x reader #y/n #supernatural #supernatural x you #supernatural x reader #sickfic #spn #spn cast

[naturalflowofthings]

Story time again

The JIB8 J2M airbnb story is full of holes and incoherence. But this analysis and the pictures of the supposed house put together somehow filled the blanks for me and it became one of those OMG moments with chills down my spine. It became clear as day that Misha and Jensen shared a bed. It very well could have been just a platonic practical arrangement which, while telling the story, got Jensen panicking “what if people think we had sex in that bed” and he tried to change the story so that he was in a different room… and failed. Then of course that made people think that if he is so eager to hide something, it has to mean they had sex… Poor Jensen.

But I like to think of it as a Cockles story. Here it is.

*****************************************

They were supposed to tell an innocent funny story of three friends spending time in a rental house. Somehow the story got weird and Jensen realizes it was pretty much his own fault. Sometimes when he's worried about revealing too much, he ends up saying terribly revealing things... like Freudian slips. Why did he bring up the bedroom situation? As if they would rent a house without knowing how many bedrooms there were? The audience didn’t know that there were only two bedrooms and that the big bedroom had one king size bed and the small bedroom bunk beds for kids. The audience didn’t suspect (yet) that it was supposed to be a romantic getaway. So talking about the bedrooms was unnecessary. Now that he thinks of it, Jared started the story just fine. A big house Misha rented and where they all stayed. Then they could have skipped the awkward sleeping arrangements part of the story altogether and just tell about Jared's shenanigans in the morning. But yeah, it ended up being a weird mess of a made up version of how it all went. Oh well. Not the first time they have given the shippers something to fuss about. (Or the last; the very next day Nesnej took over his panel with Misha with the underbear spectacle.)

But the memory of staying in that beautiful rental house is precious for Jensen although the memory of talking about it isn’t so much. He and Misha decided to rent a house near the set not just for convenience but also to stay there over the weekend after shooting. The house was amazing. The mountain view from the terrace was breathtaking but the bedroom was even more so. It was huge and it had a tub in the middle. When they saw the pictures they realized that that’s where they would spend most of their time in.

On their first day they would arrive at the house after the midnight so they needed to get the keys before shooting. Jensen offered to meet the host of the house early in the morning and throw their bags in and at the same time play some golf at a nearby course. There wouldn’t be a chance for that later. Misha doesn't play golf and they had other plans for their stay. When he met Misha at the set in the afternoon he was so happy to tell him the house was everything they had hoped and more.

During the long day of shooting they realized that Jared was not feeling well so they invited him to stay with them for the night. They couldn’t let him drive home alone. Jensen and Misha would have plenty of time just for themselves later. They figured Jared could stay in the spare bedroom. Of course when they arrived at the house they realized that Jared wouldn’t comfortably fit in the ridiculous bunk beds. Jensen and Misha tried not to laugh when Jared tried to cram himself in one of the beds. Jared wasn’t on a joking mood. They made a very nice bed for him on the floor next to the bunk beds with all of four mattresses. And very soon, after just one glass on wine Jared fell half dead on the mattresses and started shaking the house with his snoring. Jensen and Misha heard the snoring in their beautiful master bed room but it didn’t really bother them. They stayed up and enjoyed some more wine, the bathtub and each other for quite some time.

Jared was the first one up the next morning. He felt better. You could tell that from the childish goofing-around energy he suddenly had. It probably absorbed from the kiddie bedroom during the night. Jensen and Misha were now tired. Jensen was just getting up when the phone rang. Jared answered it without thinking. And for a moment he talked like someone actually meant to call him. Maybe someone from the set? It was sort of too late when Misha realized that Jared was messing around and the call wasn’t for him/them. Some wrestling and yelling and glass breaking ensued. That whole thing was good wake up entertainment for Jensen. Later Jared said that at first he really did think it was for him because the caller asked for Jared. When he realized it was another Jared (the host of the house) he just decided to go on pretending to be the assumed Jared. Who does that? Well, Jared does. When they told the story at the panel Jared wanted everyone to think it was a prank all along. Saying that the owner’s name was Virgil took out that aspect of his momentary honest confusion.

While Jensen and Misha were in the shower, Jared ended up watching gay porn with some steamy shower sex (which of course Jared found extremely hilarious given the situation). Because he was bored (and Jared), he started fiddling with the remote control and just happened to make a yearly subscription for the porn channel. For no reason. Just to see if he could. After the shower (sex) and the argument Misha and Jared got into about the subscription, those two actually sat down and watched the gay porn, now that it was payed for. That was a bit too much for Jensen, and he stayed in another room and read a book while waiting for Cliff. Still, it felt nice that they had that level of comfortable normalcy about it all. His brother Jared and his lover Misha. 

Jensen loves going back to that house in his mind. He even loves the idea of people maybe guessing what it all was about. But what he loves most is that there is the most intimate thing no-one will never know about. Not even Danneel or Vicky. It’s just theirs, his and Misha’s. The pure bliss that was witnessed only by the misty mountains. 

The messed up story at the panel actually emphasized that it's him that is the most not normal about it all still. Afterwards they had a long discussion with Misha about what he is so afraid of. Jensen isn't sure what it is. He just knows that he is not there yet, maybe never will be. Misha understands. He always does.

#cockles #cockles storytime #jenmish #this is not a true story #just fanfiction based on a true story

[msgrumpygills]

Hey grumpy! so I was going through Jensen’s tag on here last night and I found something interesting. It was sent to a destiheller blog though and the op started tinhatting in their reply so I didn’t add that part. Here’s the ask:

“Personally, I think the Mishalecki fallout was mostly one sided. Misha hugged Jared really tight at Denver con, like he’d actually missed him. While Jared hasn’t even mentioned Misha’s book, unlike literally every other actor on spn. Not only that, but apparently Gen and Jared supposedly had a virtual conversation with the author of the book they promoted near the release of Misha’s book a couple days ago. The thing is Gen has had talks like these with the author of the books she’s read in her bookclub before. I just don’t remember Jared ever participating in those conversations as well until today, at this point it seems like they’re doing it on purpose lol. Of course it might also be the fact that you had to pay 25 dollars to watch that conversation with Gen and Jared today, and promoting Misha’s book wouldn’t gain them anything, because we all know the Padapayme’s won’t do anything unless there’s something in it for them as well.”

I unfollowed Geneva months ago because of her insufferable advertising so I didn’t know any of this but I think it’s something to think about. Don’t get me wrong that poetry book is way overhyped for sure but at this point it’s not really about the book. I doubt they weren’t sent a copy just like the rest of the cast. In any case, I’m definitely stealing ‘Padapayme’ for future reference.

I’m not Misha’s biggest fan, but I will say that out of the three, it really did kinda seem like he was trying to keep the peace. It almost seemed like we were watching a divorced couple at Christmas and Misha was the son trying to keep the happy appearance going. I didn’t see any panels or anything, but I did see gifs (and reblogged a few) and Misha seemed like he did genuinely miss everyone. Maybe he’s a great actor, but I think a lot of people would beg to differ.

I’m not sure there was a specific “fallout” between Misha and Jared, I think Jared just got too big in the britches and decided he didn’t need to be as chummy with anyone. I mean with Jensen and Jared, there was the prequel nonsense and then Jared ignoring Jensen’s movie news. With Misha, there really wasn’t a specific incident to point to as causing a fallout. Well, until the book thing.

It does seem like they’re being petty on purpose, but the logical side of my brain says that Gen needed to sell some tickets and pulled Jared into the mix to guarantee sales. All of her other conversations with authors have been free, no? She probably knew that she couldn’t sell spots on her own so why not bring in the wallet? 

It’s funny that this anon mentioned Jared and Gen not getting anything from promoting Misha’s book because I had the exact same thought. I mean sure, Jensen didn’t post anything on his own socials (unless he tweeted about the book) but his participation in D’s post at least showed he was involved in promoting the book somehow. Jared hasn’t said a word and Gen just reshared Felicia’s post and added “can’t wait to read!” Lazy. 

It says a lot that she can muster up some ad posts for literally everything else, but can’t be bothered to make a post about the book. Even just a tweet or something. But again, they’re not being paid for it so why bother? They just continue to show that they really are motivated by money and what others can do for them over anything else. It’s sad, but not surprising that’s for sure.

“Padapayme” is amazing though and I give kudos to the anon for bringing it to light! It’s true and clever!

#grumpy answers #anti genevieve #anti jared padalecki #Misha Collins

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

Ch. 6

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunately have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: None really, some angst maybe? Language is a given..

Word Count: 2969

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Jensen POV:

Jensen absent-mindedly stepped out of the shower, his mind was on what happened between y/n and himself only about 15 minutes ago. 

Closing his eyes he could still feel his lips on hers... 

Part of him is screaming at him, wondering what the hell he was doing... He’d just left Danneel yesterday... 

Literally... 

Another part of him though, another part says he deserves this, that's there's nothing wrong with what he feels when he’s with her... 

He never felt this way with Dannel... 

A pounding on the door jerks him from his thoughts... 

Must be Jared... 

Jensen threw on his pans and walked to the door, opening it without really giving a shit who was standing on the other side..

"So I see you had company last night." Jared said, stopping Jensen in his tracks, midway of pulling his shirt over his head.. 

"How did you know that?" He asked, whipping his head around to give Jared the most intimidating stare he could muster.

He didn’t know how he possibly knew someone was here with him.. Y/n left almost an hour ago…

 "I saw Y/n sneaking out of your room this morning." Jared said, crossing his arms over his chest,  and staring at Jensen right back.  Leaned up against the door frame. 

"She was 'sneaking' out of my room. Nothing happened alright!" Jensen said, quickly becoming irritated.. 

"Jensen, what are you doing man? You were just at the bar with me last night crying about Danneel, and now you got a girl in your hotel room? Man this is not a good way to move on." Jared looked concerned, but Jensen was really getting tired of people telling him what to do.. 

From Danneel telling him that his failed marriage was his fault... 

Jared telling him how he’s handling his personal life is wrong... 

Fans jumping down his throat on social media when he hasn't even done anything wrong…

He was almost at his limit, and he hadn’t even got to the Gold Panel yet..

"Look my marriage was over with Danneel a long damn time ago! About three in the morning I realized something, I deserve better than what that bitch has done to me for the last 10 years! Wanna know how long it's been sense I've had sex Jared?! Do you?! It was the night the twins were conceived! She was either fucking someone else, or never there while I suffered! Not her me!" 

Jensen stopped himself, and sat heavily down on the bed, he was yelling at Jared, he didn’t know why the fuck he was, but here he was a craying, yelling mess, and Jared God bless him, just took it, patiently waiting until Jensen had gotten it all out of his system. 

Until I let out that last little revelation anyway, that one seemed to throw him...

"Damn man, I'm sorry, I didn't know things were that bad." Jared said, looking a little softer than at Jensen than he had five minutes ago. Taking a seat on the bed next to Jensen, but Jensen just stood up and walked over to the little couch where his bag was laying open, looking for his watch.

He didn’t want someone to feel sorry for him or pity him, he just wanted people to let him move on..

"Last night I went to talk to y/n. To apologize for running off the stage the way I did. We went down to get coffee. She touched my hand, and it was like electricity hit me. My heart started racing, I got nervous. I haven't felt like that in years.” Shaking his head he turned around to face Jared who was still watching him closely sitting at the foot of the hotel bed. 

“You know what she did man? Cause I was a mess last night when I went to talk to her. She came back to my room, and layed next to me all night so I didn't have to be alone, and I could get some sleep.. Never tried to have sex with me. Never said anything. Was just there.”

“When we got up this morning I asked her if she wanted to get to know each other. See where this goes. I feel something for her man. Something I haven't ever felt. I deserve this, and I don't care who likes it, or doesn’t agree with it."

The room was silent as Jared and Jensen stared at each other. He needs Jared to back him up. He was swinging blind here. He needed my best friend. He needed his brother…

Jared looked at him closely, he looked like he was a mess still, he looked tired, dark circles around his eyes showed that what little sleep he’d gotten with Y/n last night really hadn’t been enough, he was still reeling, and Jared knew that, but he was also a grown man, and he knew that there was nothing he could say that was going to change his mind, so he decided he’d just be here for him when he needed him, because that’s what Jensen had always done for him.

"Okay, just go slow man don't rush it. You're still working through a lot of emotions."

"I need this Jared. I need her."

........................

Your POV:

"Ahh!!! I can't believe it!!!!" Y/f/ln sequels as you walk down the hall toward the room that's been set up for the panel. 

"Shh!! Keep your voice down!!" You scold as a group of 'Deans and Sams' walk by the two of you. Looking around nervously to make sure no one had heard her little outburst.

"Hey, he said don't be ashamed of him." She said with narrow eyes at you. 

"I'm not ashamed!!! I just don't want to be jumped by some crazy jealous superfan." You tell her as the two of you take your sets center stage third row. 

You were glad you were close to the stage. Jensen was really nervous about this panel. It was a solo panel, and the first one since news broke of his divorce yesterday.

Jared was supposed to be doing this panel with him, but things got messed up and Jared ended up having to make up ops while Jensen did the panel alone.

 He really wanted you to be here so you were glad he would be able to see you from the stage.

"Okay you got a point." She said, looking around at some of the people filtering in to find their seats. "Do you think the two of you are officially a thing now?" 

"No." You said flatly. "We haven't labeled anything. He just made it very clear this morning though it is his long run goal though. That's why we're getting to know each. He wants to see where this will go." You tell her for what feels like the thousandth time.

To your relief the music started, and it was time for the panel. 

You really we're ready to discuss Jensen, or how you felt about him. You just wanted this panel to be over. You just wanted the end of the day to get here, so that you could go back to his room. 

Make sure he is okay. 

You knew that he was not looking forward to this panel. You could hear the fear in his voice when he asked you if you were gonna be here at the panels.

You watched as Jensen jogged out on the stage. Stopping to irritate Richard and Rob at the top of the stares before tuning to the audience. 

"Good morning Dallas!" He says into the microphone, and people cheer around the room. 

"I wanna get something out of the way before I take any questions...." 

The room fell creepy silent. Everyone was hanging on his every word, and you held your breath right alone with them... 

"Danneel and I are no longer together, and we are getting a divorce. The rumors are true on that, but I will NOT be answering ANY questions about Danneel and myself, or the divorce. Please respect my privacy while I work this out okay." 

When he was finished speaking the audience applauded with a few people yelling.

"We love you Jensen."  

The rest of the panel went off with a hitch as he took questions. His eye trained you between each question. 

You didn't understand why or how, but you've already fallen head over hills for this guy. You only could pray he feels the same.

You knew that if the two of you started a steady relationship, rumors would be everyone, and so would some backlash, but you didn’t care about that, your main focus was Jensen.. 

He needed you… 

Right now that’s all that matters.

---------------------------

After what felt like an eternity the day was finally coming to a close... 

It was the last panel of the day, and down to the last question... 

Jensen looked absolutely exhausted... 

You decided not to do a photo op. with all the attention Jensen and yourself were currently getting on social media, both good and bad, it just felt like the right decision to stay away from anything else that could be put on the internet.. 

You definitely didn’t want to give Danneel any more material...

That morning before you left him for the day, Jensen had given you a spare key to his room, and asked you to just move your things over during the day so that you can just stay with him. You figured since everyone would be busy doing the ops, you could move your things over without too many people noticing what you were doing.. 

You had put your number into his phone, and were texting back and forth every chance you got during all the insanity that is a con, and it was hard not to smile every time you saw his name appear on your phone screen.. 

As soon as the panel was over you were headed up to his room, planning to get a shower before he got there. Jensen said, it was going to take about an hour for him to get to the room once the panel was over. So you had a little time..

As everyone was standing up to make their way toward the door y/f/n stopped you. 

"Hey can we talk a second before you go to meet Jensen." She asked, looking a little guilty. 

"Sure..."

Sitting back down in your seat your stomach was a little uneasy, you hoped she hadn’t blabbed about Jensen and yourself to someone.. Because you’d probably kill her. 

"You know that guy I've been talking to for about a month now, Alex? Well things are getting pretty serious, and he's asked me to move in with him." 

You sit there in silence for a moment. 

Not necessarily shocked, you could see they were getting pretty close, you knew it was coming.

What your biggest fear was is where the fuck are you gonna live now...

"I've decided to just give you the apartment." She said, handing you her key. 

You took it not knowing what to say at first. 

"Are you sure you want to do this? When are you going to get your stuff?" You asked, she looked down at her converse, looking even more guilty. 

"Well... he moved it out today for me. I called and asked the front desk to unlock, and lock the door for him. I'm sorry. I made sure my half of rent and utilities are paid up for the month. Kinda to give you a heads start." 

You couldn't be mad at her. She looked so pathetic, and besides you were glad that those two were finally moving forward with a relationship they’d been dancing around for a while now..

Grabbing her pulling you pull her into a hug.

"Thank you for everything you've done this past year." You tell her, and she hugged you back, both of you trying to not cry in that moment.

"Furniture and everything is still there. Just my clothes, and personal stuff will be gone, and we can still have lunch twice a week." She said, relieved you weren't angry with her.

The two of you hear heavy footsteps coming up from behind you, she looks over your shoulder, and gives you a knowing smile..

"Looks like I need to get going, See you in the morning." With that she practically runs to the exit. 

Turning you see Jensen headed up the aisle toward you. A little concerned look on his face as he watched your retreating friend.. 

"Hey everything okay?" He said, pulling you to him when you stood up from your seat, not caring who was around or who saw. 

He had been separated from you all day, you could tell he was past done with people period, and their rumors and theories.. 

"Yeah everything is fine I'll tell you later." You say, leaning your head against his shoulder for a moment.. 

You felt safe here... 

Even though the two of you were getting some weird looks from Misha, Rob, Richard, and the rest of the band...

"Did you get everything moved over to my room?" He asked, pushing a stand of loose hair behind your ear.

"Yeah everything is there. That's what I was doing during the photo op." You tell him, trying to make a good excuse as to why you weren't there today. Besides it wasn’t a lie, and you had a valid reason for not wanting to do ops, or anyone seeing you moving your crap to his room. 

"Okay, I'll only be about 30 minutes. Just got some loose ends to tie up before tomorrow." He said, bending down and giving you a peak on the lips, making everyone in the room jaw drop before heading to the stage where they were all waiting for him..

.......................................

Jensen's POV:

"So... you two officially a thing now?" Misha asked, batting his eyes at Jensen like an idiot. Jensen fought against the eye roll he wanted so desperately to give him, and just settled for a bitchface.

"That's got to be some sort of a record." Misha continued, propping himself up on one of the chairs Jensen and Jared were just sitting on. 

This time Jensen rolled his eyes at him.  Misha could be such a douche when he wanted to be. That or he was just being a little touchy still. 

"No, not officially." Jensen said in the most nonchalant way possible, trying to just brush it off. Although Jensen knew that was the reason for this 'Meeting' they wanted an answer to what was going on with him, and he couldn’t blow them off any longer he knew that...

"I talked to Andrew, and I'm going to be taking a week off before I head to Vancouver. As most of you know, I got some personal stuff I got to work through before I head back to Vancouver." 

Jensen there with his hands in his pockets, bracing himself for the onslaught of questions he knew were coming.. 

"What happened man?" Rob asked, seeming genuinely concerned. 

"A long progression of things that eventually led up to me catching her with another man yesterday." Jensen said, keeping more of the personal stuff to himself. Just using short answers, it was easier that way... 

Anger had taken the place of hurt. He was trying to control his emotions, but everything she had done to him over the years had made him hard. He didn't even notice most of the crap she was pulling at the time. Looks like hind sight really is 20/20.

"You know we're all here for you man. Whatever you need." Richard said, clapping his hand over Jensen’s shoulder, and giving him what was supposed to be a reassuring squeeze. 

Jensen knew they all were hoping he’d go into more detail, but there were a lot of things he wasn’t ready to talk about just yet, hell some of it he was still working out for himself..

The rest of the meeting went on as expected, questions about new scripts and things that normally went on for shooting schedule’s having to be rearranged.

Jensen’s mind wasn’t really on any of it.. He just wanted to get done so that he could get back to Y/n, who was waiting in his room...

She already had a hold on him. 

Jensen was no idiot, and knew that being involved with someone already didn’t exactly look good, and that It wasn't the 'normal' thing to do; but he just couldn’t shake the way she makes him feel. 

There's so much in his life right now that's uncertain. 

The custody arrangement with his kids, who's gonna get the house in Austin, all the little details that come with a divorce. 

He doesn't want to think about having to do this alone, because he wasn’t sure he could live through it... That's why he wants SOO bad for this to work out with Y/n. 

He needs a win. 

For years now he’d been on the receiving end of an abusive relationship, and didn't even realize it until last night when he had someone wrapped in my arms that didn't act like they'd catch some incurable disease if he touched them. 

That’s what got him to thinking about the past 10 years... All the signs that he refused to see that because so obvious. 

He’d been miserable for years, and not he had a chance to be happy with someone, someone that seemed to actually give a shit, and he wasn’t about to walk away from that opportunity, no matter what other people thought, for once in his life, he was going to think about himself. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Binge Tag: @sarahbaker2010​

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles series #jensen x you #jensen x reader #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #dark fic #hurt!jensen #hurt!comfort fic #jawritter

[fanficcollection]

Tumblr-Girl (Part 16)

Tumblr – Girl (Part 16) Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: unique con-experience Word Count: ~2700 Warnings!: mentions of emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, violence, slight mentions of panic attacks

Notes: Please leave some feedback!

Part 1 Masterlist  

Your PoV:

You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t believe what happened. Yeah, sure, you read something about the SPN cast and their bond to the SPNFamily, but… no… this couldn’t be possible. You stared, first at Jensen Ackles, who entered the room first, then at Misha Collins and then at Beck. “Uhm..” you mumbled. “Hi…” you didn’t know what to say and for a few moments the room was filled with silence. “We just wanted to check on you, since we probably caused this incidence yesterday with our surprise.” Jensen said and smiled. You felt your heart rate speed up and your face tuning bright red. *Calm down* you said to yourself. Beck shot you a smile and a glance that said “It’s okay. Take your time.” You took two more breaths before thinking about what Jensen said. “Thank you.” You responded and you still couldn’t stop staring until Beck pulled two chairs to them and offered them a seat. They nodded and sat down while Beck was sitting at your bed. “So, how are you, Y/N?” Misha asked again. Slowly you got back to yourself “Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a panic attack. I’m not that good with big groups of people.” You smiled “Thanks for getting me out there; Beck told me the whole story.”

“No, problem, really. It was the least we could do for you. When can you get out of here?” Misha asked. “Hmm.. I don’t know exactly. Maybe today in the evening, but I think the nurse said that they probably will keep me here until tomorrow, just to be sure everything is okay.” You didn’t say anything of the cramps and the flashback you had in the ambulance car yesterday because you didn’t want to look like a complete freak. Then you and Beck had a nice talk with the two actors. The initial shyness and insecurities were gone after a few minutes and you had a lot of fun, it was nice to chat with them about everyday-things. To be honest you never idolized actors, not even the ones of your favourite show, they were still normal people to you, normal people with a very cool job, but normal people, maybe this helped you to keep the conversation interesting for everyone. Jensen shared something about his family and about the time on set. Beck and you told them about your studies and how you met just a day before. You noticed Mishas glance on you a few times, but maybe he just wanted to check on you if everything was okay. You didn’t think a lot about that. Suddenly Jensens phone rang, he looked at it and just said “It’s Jared, I’ve to get that one.” Then he left the room picking up the phone.

Mishas PoV

When Jensen left the room, I knew this could be the moment to tell Y/N that I was Dmitri. I thought about how to tell her, but how? There was no good way into this conversation. There was silence in the room since Jensen left. “I guess you have to do convention things today?” Y/n asked and I slowly nodded. “Yeah, in the afternoon there are some things to do, but our panels don’t start until tomorrow.” I answered. “Then why did you get here yesterday?” Y/N asked. “I mean, you could have spent this two days anywhere, you never get this early on a convention.” I looked at her a bit baffled, like she read my mind and didn’t know what to say. “Sorry. That’s none of my business.” She backtracked. “I.. I’m just curios.” I thought about it a little longer, this was the moment to come out with my secret “No, it’s okay. It’s a good question. Uhm- We… no, wait actually it was just me.. So I had to meet someone here… uhm-I planned something for this I needed some time.” I shook my head. Why couldn’t I just come straight to the point. “I see… and Jensen and Jared just were some good friends who didn’t let you down on this…” Y/N smiled. “Well, yes.. but..” I tried again, but she interrupted me and said “It’s okay. It’s your private stuff, I understand that you don’t want to tell some people, who you don’t know about it.” She smiled again. No, she didn’t understand and I didn’t know how to correct this misunderstanding. “No…, wait… I-“ suddenly Jensen came back in the room. “Misha, I think we have to go.. They need us at the convention centre.” He said and I looked at him like he told me my mum has died. “I’m sorry, Jared was very clear about it. We have to be there asap.” He looked at Y/N and Beck “It was nice to meet you, Beck. Y/N, I hope you get better soon.” Then he turned to me “Mish, I’ll get us a taxi, hurry up.” After that he shot us a last smile and left the room. I stared at the door, then I stood up, I took my wallet and pulled two of my cards out, I didn’t really think about it, but in the next moment I just did what I had to do. I took one card and noted a short thing on it “This is my private phone number” I gave the card to Beck and then took the second one, also wrote something on it and gave it to Y/N “Call me, if you need anything, doesn’t matter what, you are part of the family now. We have your back. I have your back.” Then I stood up, took my jacket and left the room after one last look back. Y/N stared at me and Beck, her friend, also couldn’t believe what happened. I smiled and closed the door after me. That didn’t go like planned, but it wasn’t that bad. Jensen waited outside the hospital; he wore his sunglasses and tried not to be noticed. I was heading in his direction, but my thoughts were completely somewhere else. Was it right to give her the card or was it a stupid idea? When I reached Jensen, he smiled at me “She is really nice. I like her, man. Did you tell her, that you are your secret guarding angel?” he teased me and I had to smile about the reference. “Hmm. I really tried, but she didn’t understand.” I answered “She thinks I’m here to meet a woman…” Jensen raised his eyebrows “Well, I mean, that’s not exactly wrong.” He laughed. “Yeah… She thinks it’s another woman, she interrupted me, when I was explaining the situation and then you came back and.. Well… This was it, maybe its better like that.” Jensen looked at me and shook his head “I don’t know.” But then the taxi came and we tried to focus on the upcoming convention.

Your PoV:

You didn’t look at the card Misha gave you, you held it in your hand and after a few minutes of staring on the closed door, you put it in your note-book, which laid on the nightstand. “Uhm. Did this really happen?” Beck asked and stared at the card in her hand. You looked at her and nodded. “I guess he liked us. And he really trusts us not to be some crazy creeps.” You started to laugh and Beck joined in. “Nothing on the con could beat that.” She said.

The rest of the day flew by, you really were allowed to leave the hospital on the same day, in the evening and for a short moment you thought about attending the Saturday Night Special at the Con, you read so much about it and you really wanted to see it with your own eyes, but on the other hand you couldn’t risk it to pass out again und cause the stuff more trouble than you did already. So you went out for a drink with Beck, she said that she had seen the SNS a few times, it wasn’t a drama to miss it this time. You let the taxi driver choose the bar and he showed you a little bar, which was very nice and not very crowded. Perfect for having a little chat and enjoying some drinks. You stayed there for quite a while when suddenly a group of people arrived. “Hmm. It seems nice, the taxi-driver didn’t lie, this place is really an inside tip” somebody said and Beck turned around quickly “That’s Richard Speight and I think the others are the people from the SNS” she said “Y/N, I think this is the weirdest con-experience I’ve ever had.” Beck laughed, “like, how can all this happen on just one weekend?” You starred at the group of people and then back to Beck. “Uhhm. I don’t know what to say.” You stated and focussed on your conversation again, you felt like the cast deserved some private time, but just a few minutes later Rob and Matt stood in front of you “Hello, would you mind if we join you at your table?” Matt asked “The rest of the tables are already occupied..” Beck looked at me and I looked at her in the same moment, then we nodded “No problem, feel free to join.” Beck said and they put their beer-bottles on the table “Thanks. So, I’m Matt, and this is Rob.” Matt introduced himself and the smaller guy, he obviously thought you didn’t know them and with a sideglance to Beck you decided to play along. “This is Y/N and I’m Beck.” Said Beck and you smiled “Nice to meet you, Rob and Matt. So, what brings you here?” You asked them and Rob giggled “The taxi-driver, we asked him for a nice, little bar, so he got us here” – “Well, same thing happened to us.” Beck laughed “We are for… well, for holidays and were looking for a spot with less tourists.” She then continued. It was a very nice talk with Rob and Matt, some time later Richard Speight joined in and brought some beer for everybody. You laughed; they told you stories from their private lives, from their travelling together and some other stuff. You still couldn’t believe this actually happened, it was your very own con-experience and it was fantastic.

When you looked at your phone to check the time it was about 3:30 in the morning. You were getting tired and so was Beck and even the guys groaned from time to time. “I guess it’s time to head to the hotel.” You said in Becks direction, she nodded and you both stood up. “In which hotel are you staying?” Rob asked, when Rich looked at him pulling the eyebrow up he realized how odd this question was “Oh.. sorry.. I.. I thought… I mean, we are staying in a hotel as well… And I thought about sharing a taxi…” you smiled about Robs embarrassment and then told them the name of your hotel “I think it would be great not to get home alone, in the middle of the night in a unknown city.” You added and Beck agreed. “Nice, that’s really nearly next to our hotel.. So let’s go” Rich said and guided you and Beck outside the bar to a taxi. When the taxi arrived at your hotel you said goodbye to the guys “It was nice meeting you, we had a lot of fun” you said to them and they nodded. “Have a good night, you two. And don’t forget: You always meet twice.” Richard laughed and gave you a wink, then they closed the car-door and headed to their hotel, which was just a few hundred meters away. Beck was still smiling “This was honestly one of the best days of my life.” She said. “Have a good night, Y/N. Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow, I’ll pick you up here at about 8:00 a.m.?” – “Sounds good, have a good night, Beck” you hugged her and then headed towards the elevator, to get to your room.

The following Sunday was nearly normal, you had breakfast with Beck, then you walked around the convention center, but you didn’t try to watch one of the panels. After the closing ceremony, you watched it on a screen in the hallway, you went back to your hotel room to pack your stuff, you got yourself late-check-out, so you could use the whole afternoon for packing and thinking about the past weekend, it was kind of crazy, but it was the best weekend in your life so far. Then you thought about the journey home, coming home in your own apartment. Your stomach hurt, when you thought about meeting Jacob again. He wasn’t a fan of this trip, he liked you to be by his side, he needed you by his side, he said that every time you talked about this trip. In this moment your phone buzzed ‘Hey babe, when are you getting home today? Waiting for you here. Ily Jacob’ you smiled. He loved you, maybe he wasn’t angry about the weekend. Maybe it will all be okay.

---

After you said goodbye to Beck and you promised to visit each other you took your bus home, it was quite a ride, a few hours passed and it was dark outside when you arrived in your hometown. You texted Jacob your arriving time and he promised to pick you up at the station and he held his promise. He pulled you closer as soon as he got the chance. “I missed you, babe. You can’t do that to me again” he said and you could smell alcohol in his breath. “Are you drunk, Jacob?” you asked and he shook his head “I just had one beer, let’s go home.” He grabbed your wrist far too tight and pulled you to the car, there he pressed to the car. “I missed you, you know. Because I need you, I love you, you do love me as well, do you?” he said, not leaving any space for you to move. You nodded, but he wasn’t letting you go “Say it, babe, you love me.” He said again and forced you to look into his eyes “Yes, Jacob, I love you.” When he heard that, he let go of you and put your bags in the car. “Let’s go home, babe, you have to tell me how your weekend was.” He said and you got into the car.

In the evening you told Jacob some things of the weekend, but he didn’t seem that interested so you kept most of it for yourself. Together you watched some TV and then went to bed, it was late and both of you were tired so you just slept next to each other. The following days were quite unspectacular; you weren’t in the mood to unpack your things, so the backpack just laid there at the floor. Jacob was here nearly every night, you got used to giving him what he wanted. You hated the days he was in a bad mood so you tried everything to keep him happy. One morning, a few days later Jacob tripped over your bags, you hurried to get your things and put them away “Sorry, I should have put them away earlier.” You said, but Jacob kept quiet, “I’m so sorry, are you hurt?” you asked again and after you put away the rest of the backpack you saw that Jacob got something in his hand. “Babe? Who is Dmitri?” he asked and you could sense the anger in his voice. You didn’t understand, how…? “What?” you asked and Jacob looked at you furiously. “Don’t do this to me- Who is Dmitri?” he asked again and when you didn’t say anything he grabbed your wrist and roughly pulled you close. “I thought you loved me.” He then said and in the next second you felt a stinging pain on your cheek. You couldn’t do anything but watch when Jacob threw something on you, a little card or something, then he left the place. You sat on the floor. What happened? When the pain slowly went away you took the card Jacob threw at you. It was the card with Misha Collins phone number, you looked at it closely for the first time since Misha gave it to you, it was not just his phone number, there were two more words on it “Love, Dmitri”

______

Tag list (let me know if you want to be tagged):

@chantelle-c333 @awolfamongstus @jannalionheart @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @evyiione @destielschild @xx-melissa-x @kcam1621 @smoothdogsgirl @kristendanwayne  @haappy-go-lucky @laffytaffyhumor @thebookisbtr@michell868 @duubaduu @darthcastiel @theoneandonlysuccubus @internationalmusicteacher @gracejo2 @nanie5  @goobykeding @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @irene-frazer @thealienplace @hey-an-original-url @youknowitsmj @anspgene @sarahbaker2010 @mimzy1994 @shore-line-jewels187 @aberrant-annie @shiivaley  @thefansomdad @vicmc624​

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[thevelvetseries]

At Ease Marine

Summary : After being in the Navy for 2 years the oldest Padalecki finally comes home from her mission and finally gets to see her family for the first time in person in 2 years and she couldn’t be happier.

Pairings : Jared Padalecki x Daughter Reader / Genevieve Padalecki x Daughter Reader

Warnings : Fluff, Angst, Family Love

A/N : I have changed the ages of the Padalecki children Tom 16 / Shep 15 / Odette 10

Masterlist

It had been nearly 2 years since I had seen my family in person. I’m Y/N Padalecki, I’m currently 21 years old. I signed up to join the Navy when I was 18 behind my parents back I guess you could say. It’s not like I needed their permission to sign up and once I told them I can feel you know that it didn’t go down a treat at all. My parents where a little upset with me, my father didn’t talk to me for a few days all because I wanted to sever my country and look after it. However, this was something that I needed to do. I wanted to serve and protect my country. It’s not like they couldn’t of seen it coming. Even as a little child I would always say things like I want to help my country and I would always watch army films, I know ironic. I just loved helping people, and I was always fascinated by people stories of why they joined the Army or Navy. So when I told my patents and grandparents at the same time after a family dinner things didn’t really go to plan. I should of know they were going to b a little upset and confused. I spent the day nervous waiting for the perfect time to tell everyone my big little secret. So one Saturday after we finished having a family dinner and we were all relaxing in the family room I decided it was time to tell everyone what I had been hiding from them for the past month and it went a little something like this.

~ Flashback ~

We were just finishing up dinner, mum and grandma had just made a delicious roast dinner and now we were sitting in the living room relaxing, letting our food go down. We were currently watching a movie that Tom wanted to watch. We were coming to the end of the movie when I finally got enough courage to tell my family what I was planning to do with the rest of my life. I took a deep breath and untangled myself from the blanket I was under and slowly got up from the sofa and walking to stand in front of the TV. That’s when everyone looked up at me.

“I need to tell you all something important.” I say while standing up straight to make myself seem bigger than I actually am.

“You know you can tell us anything sweetie.” Mum said while pausing the TV so I had everyone’s attention and they didn’t miss the ending of the movie.

“So, I’ve been doing some thing lately about what I want too with the rest of my life and I’ve come to a decision about what I want to do. I’ve already done something and that something will change this family for awhile I will say, probably forever.” I say while looking at both my parents.

“What you talking about sweetie?” My dad asks while turning his head a little to the side.

The 5 seconds I’m silent for seems like a lifetime. I was about to tell them what I did while the thought I was “away looking at a college” two weeks ago when I was not . I could hear my heart beating in my chest.

“Remember when I said I wanted to go to that college open weekend the other week, and you let me go. What if I told you that was a lie so cover up what I really was going to do that weekend.” I say.

“What you talking about?” My dad says in a stern voice.

“What I mean is that I didn’t go to the college, I act went to a course to see I soemthing was the right fit for me and turns out it was and I dec that I was going to sign up to join the Navy, and I did” I say. Nobody spoke. However, I felt free. I wasn’t ashamed of what I was going to do. This is something that I’ve always wanted to do and they weren’t going to o be able to stop me.

“What do you mean you signed up to join the Navy?” Dad said while scooting closer to the edge of the sofa.

“I want to serve for my county. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. It’s not like I’ve hid that from anyone.” I say

“No. You’re not.” Dad said before standing up. “I wont allow it.”

“Well that’s too late. I’m 18, well nearly 19, I don’t need your permission to do this anymore. It’s already done. There’s no turning back now.” I say calmly.

That’s when dad walked out of the room and went upstairs. “Mum” I say looking back at her.

“I… I…” she took a deep breath. “I didn’t really know you were thinking of doing this? I know you always wanted to help people but I thought maybe as a policewoman or doctor or something not a marine.”

“I’m not sorry, this is something I just have to do.” I say.

I wasn’t drafted right away about 6months later I was called and I needed to be at Norfolk Naval station, VA on the 24th July at 0800 hours. The mission I was going on didn’t have a end date yet, so I hd no idea how long I was going to be gone for. I said goodbye to my family and headed out to help my fellow citizens.

~ Flashback Over ~

I was currently docking in Norfolk after being away or nearly 2 years. I’m now 21 years old. I had been working aside other people like me. We had finally finished our mission we were given. While I was away I had made some real fiends or family as that matter who I would protect with all my life. While I’ve been away I stayed in contact with my family and getting updates about everyone. My siblings are older and more wiser. I did some recon with my fathers security guard Cliff. I sent him a little later while I was away saying I was coming home and needed his help to surprise my family. Turns out the weekend I was coming home was a convention weekend and my whole family was going to be there. He helped me get home back to Texas. I got everything I needed before heading out to see my family and I couldn’t knock the smile off my face.

Since it was currently convention season for Supernatural. Jared, Jensen, Misha, basically everyone who was one the show was at this one place, even their families. When I reached the hotel where the convention was being set I message Cliff and he came a met me and showed me where my room was, he told me that my dad and Jensen’s panel was starting in 5 minutes and it would be on for an hour. So I quickly took a shower, making sure to not get my hair wet and got dressed in my Navy uniform and messaged Cliff that I was on my way down. At this moment in time Jared and Jensen were about 20 minutes into doing the panel. I made my way backstage but was hiding behind a curtain nobody knew I was there. I could see my mum and siblings and even Danneel and the little ackles, who aren’t little either. They all really grew other the past 2 years. I stayed standing listening to the people I loved talk about random things which was nice to hear other than hearing talks about attacks it was nice to hear my dad unfunny jokes again in person. That’s when the next person came to a mic to ask a question and ask “What do you think your children would say was the best thing you’ve done as a parent was?” Nobody knew that their children was there so Tom, Shep, Odette, JJ, Arrow and Zep all walked onto the stage while the crowed screamed. The ackles answered first. Then Tom, Shep and O did right before she finished I slowly made my way onto the stage from the side. The crowd grew louder making everyone on stage look back but nobody was there since I was to the side. I then spoke into the mic I was given.

“I would say the best thing my parents have one for me was to let me be who I am and to not be afraid to go after something that means something to me. They showed me that the power os love and kindness really is the key to living a good life” I say while walking slowly to my father who had tears forming in his eyes. That’s when mum ran onto the stage and my whole family circled my into a hug and didn’t let go for a good few minutes. I was finally home with my family and I couldn’t ask for anything better than this moment right here.

After awhile we all went back behind the stage and waited for the panel to be over. I stayed sitting with my mum holding her hand just catching up and laughing along with my siblings and having a nice time with my family. Once the angel finished my dad came rushing down the steps from the stage looking for me. I got up and rushed into his arms and hugged him for dear life. For the rest of that night we stayed together as a family, I went back to my room got changed into some normal clothes and we all went out for dinner and then went back to mum and dad hotel room since they booked out a big room so we could all be there when not sleeping and we spent the night watching movies before all falling asleep on the sofas in the room. I was home and I couldn’t be happier than this moment in time.

It was time to find a new dream to live. I was thinking of still working for the Navy just not a a marine, maybe one of their detectives. Who knows.

#supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural one shot #supernatural rpf #spn #spn imagine #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn rpf #jared paladecki #jared padalecki x reader #jared padalecki rpf #jaed padalecki x daughter!reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles rpf #genevieve padalecki #genevieve padalecki x reader #genevieve padalecki rpf #genevieve padalecki x daughter!reader

[clairvoyantsam]

When dreams come true ft Jared Padalecki - 4th year anniversary

Rome, May 19th 2016 ... The day the ultimate dream came true! Some of you may remember I bumpted into Jared (or in fact, JARED bumpted into ME) while out and about in Rome that day, a few of my friends know all the details too, but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here exactly how and under what impossible circumstances this happened. So ... story time! (& stuff about jib5,6,7)

                                               BACKGROUND

This wasn’t the first time I met Jared, I had met him before at JIBCon5 in 2014, so this was my second time (I was supposed to see him at JIBCon6 in 2015 too which I attended as well but you guys know what happened that year). 

He was lovely that first time, I told him it was my first Supernatural convention and he gave me a warm welcome, made the entire experience so wonderful for me, during the photo ops, the autograph session (where I gave him a scrapbook with messages from fans I had been in contact with) and the panel question I asked him (I completed one of his sentences which was actually a Sam Winchester quote from SPN and it made both of us and the entire audience laugh xD - I have a photo of me somewhere from that moment and I haven’t seen myself smile so widely ever!). Anyway, like I said, the first convention was fantastic, a beautiful and most memorable experience (despite the fact that Jared had a misfortune that time too since he broke his arm and missed one of his panels as a consequence).

The second convention while it had its moments, it sat (and still sits to be honest) heavy in my heart because I was constantly worried about Jared’s wellbeing and everyone including me was heartbroken. The rest of the cast did everything they could to keep us all entertained, they truly did but there was a dark cloud over our heads that couldn’t be ignored. The first thing we talked about with Jensen at his meet and greet (because of  Jared’s absence, I was given the opportunity to be in that M&G, sitting right across from him and Robert Singer who was present at the con as well). Jensen was genuinely worried, he surely put on a brave face but whenever Jared was mentioned, he’d get emotional. While I asked show-related questions at the M&G, I wasn’t sure what to ask Jensen or tell him when I got his autograph and then I thought of the simplest thing: “So, I may be really sad about the empty spot next to you (Jared’s spot on the poster Jensen was signing for me) but I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate the fact that you’re such a supportive and caring friend towards Jared. Everyone deserves a friend like you to have their back.” Then he took my hand, shook it, looked me right in the eye, put a hand on his heart and told me a sincere “Thank You”. Frankly, I loved Jensen even more at JIB6, he showed both a brave and vulnerable side and he tried so hard to give everyone a great time. My best photos with him are from that con for sure!

So, you see, I HAD to try and give my luck a third chance to live the perfect experience. I wanted to live it all, photo ops, autographs, M&G, panels but I also had a secret wish: to be one of those fans who accidentally meet their fav randomly in the city (NO stalking because that’s just fucked up, only by chance). I always saw posts of lucky people who got to meet him outside of conventions. He’s not one of those snob celebs, you see. He’ll always smile at you and talk to you and get pictures with you. So, I dreamt about it the entire year before JIB7. @darlingjared and I would talk and joke about it all the time, praying that our stars will listen and make a surprise meeting possible. Of course, deep down we know the chances were extremely low. Rome is a HUGE city with hundreds of places of interest. He could be anywhere, on the opposite site of where we’d be. 

The day finally arrived, and we got to Rome (Thursday, May 19th 2016). Soon after I arrived at the Hilton hotel, I got to my room to get some rest after the flight. Not much later, I got a text saying Jared was at the hotel!!!! (no idea why??? the convention was starting the next day and he wasn’t to appear until the day after that). Before I could get dressed to go check, he was gone but I heard he was really sweet and greeted everyone who said hi to him. 

In the afternoon, after I met with my roommate and @darlingjared ,we took the Hilton bus that took us downtown; it left us near the Victor Emmanuel II monument.  Naturally, we went for walks around the city. We had a bite to eat and then got lost in a street trying to find our way to the Trevi fountain, so we asked around and managed to get to our destination. We spent a few minutes there, taking photos and then continued our way, meaning to get to the Spanish steps. While we were heading there, rain started pouring, so we took shelter for a few minutes until it stopped. We thought, damn, we will never meet him during this weather. When it stopped, we did some shopping at a supermarket and since the time had passed and we had to grab our ride back to the hotel since the Hilton bus had a specific route schedule, we said let’s just pass the Spanish steps quickly, go down via Condotti and head back. (I have to mention here that my BEST DECISION EVER was to wear the Always Keep Fighting T-shirt for this walk). At this point, we were certain we wouldn’t meet him, so we basically forgot about it and just started chatting with each other and laughing. I mean, we walked around many places, we got lost, we got stuck in the rain. What were the odds??? So, we’re laughing at our own jokes and for some reason we had our attention focused at the right side of the street. I turn my head straight at the PERFECT time, seeing that beautiful, smiling giant, coming my way through the crowd and adressing me before I had the time to react:

Jared: “Hey, I love your shirt!” 

I fucking froze. Can you imagine?????? Not only did we eventually meet him but HE came to us FIRST to talk!!!!! We didn’t have to notice him and shyly go talk to him, wondering if we’re disturbing him, asking for pictures. He casually just approached us because he wanted to, because he’s kind and simple like that. I was so shocked, mouth agape, that he just went in for a hug to bring me back to reality!!! Now, name me another actor, another celebrity who will stop on his own to talk to you and hug you, I DARE YOU TO FIND ONE!!! He’s pure and special like that. He hugged each of us (gosh, he smelled like Heaven and looked so good in that sexy coat he wore, his hair kinda wet from the rain), asked us how we’re doing and then we asked if it would be ok to take some pictures with us. He said “sure!” and we took our phones out. Mine was brand new and I hadn’t even taken a picture with it, so, basically Jared blessed it first xD My hand was shaking so bad that I couldn’t take the picture, so, he put his hand on mine to steady it and took the selfie. He took pics with all of us, we thanked him and then he told us to have a good time and that he’d see us again at the convention. Needless to say when he left, we started losing it because we couldn’t believe what had just happened!!! It was out of this world. To this day, as I’m writing this, I still can’t believe it. We wanted something so SO much, that the universe made it happen. It’s one of those times that you know the stars aligned so that something you desired with all your heart could come true!

The entire convention was absolutely phenomenal. Jared remembered my face throughout the weekend, I asked him interesting questions during his panels and the one he shared with Jensen for which he later thanked me when I saw him at the photo ops (he particularly liked my question adressed to him and Jensen about the proudest they’ve felt about themselves in real life and about their characters on Supernatural and the other one concerning what Sam and Jared would tell each other if they met in real life which he found great because he said he had never been asked that before.) The M&G with him was a blast, he sat with us longer than what was expected, got to ask him two questions there (I have another detailed post with everything that was said in the M&G), he was super chill and eager to answer everything we wanted to know. When I got his autograph, I told him everything he means to me, thanked him for inspiring me to be a better version of myself, straight out told him I love him and he was so kind and gentle and shook my hand and told me he loved me back (also gave him a custom made chocolate I ordered particularly for him with #AKF as a theme). “I love you, always keeping fighting Jared, never forget.” I was on the verge of tears for multiple reasons but I had to say that to him. I was not in a good place back then and Jared was a beacon of light, of hope that kept me going. At our last photo op together, I asked him to hug me “like there’s no tomorrow” and he held me so tight in his arms, I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t care. I didn’t know what he looked like when he hugged me but getting out of the photo op room, the girl who was behind me stopped me in the hallway and said: “Omg, he was so sweet with you! Loved what he did with his eyes. Your photo will look beautiful”. I was confused because I was looking at the camera when the picture was taken, so I had to wait for my photo op to get printed to see what she was talking about. My heart melted when I saw this:

I mean, look at that SOFT face. He’s so sweet, you can FEEL his kindness radiating by reading his expression. Some people may think nothing of this but it meant the world to me back then. It was as if he was telling me “things will get better, you can do this” without using words.

When Jared hugs, he does it with everything he has, like he’s said before, hugging is showing you care about someone and damn, he does. He’s an actor but he doesn’t pretend during these moments, I can assure you. He’s a person who feels things deeply, he’s someone who understands what it’s like to struggle with your personal demons and that’s why I’ve always related to him the most. He has a heart of gold and personally, I’ll have his back always. He didn’t have to be so kind to me but he was and I will never forget that.

So this is my story. This post was probably too long but I had to share these thoughts. 

Jared, I know you don’t remember me but if you ever see this, thank you for being you, don’t ever change. I love you, man. #AKF

~Elena

#Jared Padalecki #jibcon #jibcon7 #jibcon5 #jibcon6 #long post #I love him to the moon and back #forever grateful #you've changed my world

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Human Nature

Summary: The reader and Jensen have been keeping their relationship a secret for a while now, but that's all about to change this convention weekend. 

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k+

Warnings: Fluff, public teasing, language, slightly dom Jensen, alcohol consumption

Square Filled: Free Square

Authors Note: Written for @spngenrebingo , I call this genre Supernatural Convention, cause let’s be honest, that is a genre in this fandom. I just had to get this out of my head because it wouldn’t leave me alone, so I’m using it to fill a square ;). It turned into a monster, hell it’s the longest thing I’ve written to date, so I turned it into two parts. Italics are the reader or Jensen singing, bold italics are both singing. 

My Masterlist

“Um, my question is for Y/n…” You flash a small wave at the girl looking up at you from the microphone at the side of the stage. She’s hidden mostly by the lights shining at you, but you can make out her silhouette. 

“Finally! What’s your name hun?” The girl smiles widely before answering your question. 

“Your character has a lot of confidence on the show especially when Dean is flirting with her. So my question is do you find you are confident off camera as well and how do you do it?” The girl tugs nervously at the hem of her shirt and shifts her weight to her other foot.

“Whew, boy you think I have confidence? That’s a huge compliment. I’ll tell you I have most definitely not always been this way. It took a long time and a lot of practice. It also took a lot of therapy, hell I still go to therapy. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you can’t sort out your problems, remember that.” the words were falling from you faster than you could think, there were many practices you put in place to change your mindset, and it’s still a struggle everyday. “I’ve come a long way, but I still work on it everyday too.”

“There is a practice I use pretty much everyday that I was taught by my therapist. The motto is stop, drop, and roll. When you are treating yourself poorly you need to stop the thought, drop it, and roll the thought into something positive.” Briana spoke up next to you, and you turned back to her and Kim, both of them nodding thoughtfully. 

“As for having confidence in front of the boys, man, it’s impossible not to. Those two are the most supportive and inviting guys. Besides, Dean is an awful flirt, so it usually takes a few takes before I can stop laughing.”

“Shut the fuck up, it’s Jensen screwing up the takes not Jared?” Kim pipes up. 

“No it’s one hundred percent me! Honestly I think I’m worse than Jared sometimes with messing up the takes because he isn’t even there for half of those scenes. And then Jensen is always so in character and sometimes it takes my mind a minute to separate the two. I just hope some of them make it into the gag reel, I almost peed my pants when Jay didn’t break character for a whole five minutes of me laughing.” It was hard not to erupt into laughter just thinking about it.

“Thanks.” Even though you couldn’t see her, you were sure the fan was smiling. 

“No problem babe.” You are cut off by Rob and Rich running onto the stage with a flourish of music. 

“Alright guys, it's time to say goodbye to these beautiful ladies, for now.” Rob slips in between you and Briana. “We will be seeing these two at the concert tonight!” The crowd erupts into cheers as the three of you blow some kisses and disappear behind the stage. There is a handler there waiting to guide you back to the green room with a flashlight. Backstage is just a small dark area to wait for Rob to call your name and you hated trying to adjust to the sudden darkness after the harsh stage lights. 

“You ready for tonight?” Bri turns to you and tosses you a water bottle as you return to the green room. 

“I’m terrified. I haven’t sung in front of a real crowd like ever.” You take a drink of the icy liquid. 

“They are the most amazing crowd to be in front of. It’s nothing but love out there.” Bri plops down into Kim’s lap as the three of you find your way to the table.

“Yeah, but Jensen insisted on singing a duet with me after he heard me in my trailer and I just hope I can live up to you two.” 

“Oh you can’t, but that doesn’t mean you won’t kill it.” Briana jokes and you toss your half empty bottle at her.

 ****

 The hammering in your chest was radiating in your ears. You limbs feel like jelly but you continue to pace the small dark area behind the stage. Ruth sang out her final line and the music died down, and you felt your stomach jump into your throat. There is no going back now though, so all you can do is swallow the bile rising in your throat. Everything will go great, you’ve practiced this a hundred times, and no matter what, these fans love you. You repeat the mantra quickly in the short amount of time before you were to be called. It is just enough time for the deep breathes to slow your heart rate, if only a little. 

“Let’s give a big spn family welcome to our next guest, Y/N Y/L/N!” Rob shouts into the mic, snapping you out of everything and you skip up the steps. Bright lights flood your vision and instantly heat your skin.

“What’s up everybody? We having a good time tonight?” The screams from the crowd start getting you pumped up, the anxiety dissipating more and more. “Let’s not waste time then and get this show on the road! I hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna slow it down just a little.” You step up to the mic stand and place the mic. The piano intros to the song you chose for yourself as you put your earbuds in place. You take a deep breath and fall into the hum that introduces the song.

 Some people live for the fortune

Some people live just for the fame

Some people live for the power, yeah

Some people live just to play the game

 The crowd quickly picks up on the song you chose. It was one that you had always loved, though you never trusted you could pull off. But your friends and coworkers are the greatest supporters and worked tirelessly with you to get it perfect. Now here you are finally performing it. It was surreal to finally have this opportunity, and you couldn’t stop thinking of all of your blessings this past year and a half. Some people in the crowd are on their feet now. You watch as they sway with you to the beat of the music, all of you getting lost in it. 

 Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you, baby

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, yeah

 The crowd sang through the chorus with you, allowing all the nerves to melt away. You were in the moment now, and all that mattered was the music around you. 

 Some people search for a fountain

That promises forever young

Some people need three dozen roses

And that's the only way to prove you love him

 Words can’t express the emotion you felt in this moment. Being on the show was an experience in itself and though these were the same fans, this felt entirely different. When everybody talked about how amazing these conventions were, they were not overselling it. It truly feels like a family inside these walls. It’s unconditional love and support. 

 Hand me the world on a silver platter

And what good would it be?

With no one to share

With no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you, baby

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, you, you

 The crowd erupts into cheers and applause, the room shaking with the force of it. A tear escapes the corner of your eye as you soak in the love coming from the fans you were just starting to get to know. Everything about tonight is beyond humbling. Especially when they begin to shout for an encore. You have something else already up your sleeve, though they didn’t know. Jensen singing tonight is a surprise for the fans. So you turn around to Rich poking his head through the curtain, giving you the thumbs up to let you know Jay had arrived. 

“Guys, this has been the most amazing experience of my life, I can’t even express to you. So, to show my gratitude, I think I may be able to scrounge a little something up for you.” You wink at them. “But I’m gonna need a little help for this next one, what do you say? Can you give a big welcome to Mr. Jensen Ackles!” You flourish you hand behind you as Jensen runs onto the stage blowing kisses to the audience and soaking up their cheers with his heart over his hand. He has a mic in one hand and his guitar hanging from his shoulder. He smiles at you as he grabs your arm and brings you in for a bone crushing hug, his warmth radiating through the leather jacket he’s wearing. 

“Now who’s ready to hear this guy slam on the guitar?” You turn back to the crowd, leaving your left arm around Jensen’s waist, your fingers gripping tightly into the back of his jacket. Rich comes up with a two stools for Jensen and you. You place yours close to Jensen’s as he moves in front of mic stand. He places the mic and you both sit down. Jensen begins strumming the guitar and it’s suddenly just the two of you. Cheers erupt again as the crowd easily recognizes the song beginning. You and Jensen discussed for a while what song you wanted to sing together before finally landing on the one and only King of Pop. 

 Looking out

Across the nighttime

The city winks a sleepless eye

Hear his voice

Shake my window

Sweet seducing sighs

 Out of the corner of your eye, you keep catching Jensen’s gaze as he stares at you singing the first verse. It was intense and you had to focus on the crowd and trying to remember the lyrics with the look he was giving you. It reminded you of the question you were asked earlier in your panel. Sure, Dean had awful pickup lines which did make it easier, but you often find yourself lost in his indescribable green eyes. 

 Get me out

Into the nighttime

Four walls won't hold me tonight

If this town

Is just an apple

Then let me take a bite

 Now you are beginning to understand the stares from Jensen. He is just as mesmerizing to watch as he sings. His voice is unlike anything you have ever heard and man did Michael not even compare to him in this moment, though you may be a little bias. 

 If they say

Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do it that way

If they say

Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why does he do me that way

 The crowd reacted as expected though. They immediately lose their minds the second Jensen opens his mouth, and you can’t blame them. There are a few stray cell phone lights swaying with the beat of the song. You close your eyes as Jensen moves into the next verse. 

 Reaching out

To touch a stranger

Electric eyes are everywhere

See that girl

She knows I'm watching

She likes the way I stare

 Both of you take advantage of the small musical interlude to play around with a few vocal runs. You can’t help the smile on your face as Jensen makes a goofy face. His smile takes away all the anxiety that still remained  in your chest. The effect he continued to have on you still surprises you after all this time. You have one last verse and you are gonna give it your all. 

 Looking out

Across the morning

Where the city's heart begins to beat

Reaching out

I touch his shoulder

I'm dreaming of the street

If they say

Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

If they say

Why, why, ooo tell 'em

Why, why does he do me that way

 The room fills echoes with yours and Jay’s voices, a mix of whys and ohs. Both of you have a little fun again with the ending of the song, and you can’t help the blush creeping up on your neck as Jensen watches you. As he finishes the chords, Jensen offers you his hand and you both stand to take a bow. He flips the guitar behind his back and pulls you into a hug so tight your feet slip off the ground for a second. 

“You did amazing.” He tells you, his lips close to your ear. He turns back to the crowd, “Can we give it up on more time for the lovely Y/N?” He raises your hand up and encourages you to take another bow. You bow dramatically for the cheers of the audience and blow them some more kisses as you head off the stage. It’s pretty dark just behind the curtain and it takes a second for your eyes to adjust. Before you can head off, Jensen hops over the three small steps and pulls you into him again. This time you left yourself melt into him, away from public eyes. 

“Fuck, I missed you baby.” He leans into you for a kiss, both of his massive hands enveloping your face on either side. 

“It’s been like, not even twenty-four hours.” You giggle as he peppers kisses to you nose and lips. 

“Twenty four hours too long. I don’t even want to go out tonight. I just want to take you up to my room and keep you all to myself.” 

“Mmm, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I really wanna get out of this dress anyways.” Your voice drops as you run your hands along Jensen’s waist and tug his hips closer you yours by his belt loops. He lets out a low groan.

“Stop, you know we can’t skip it without raising suspicion.” 

“One drink, then you are taking me back up to that room and making me forget my own name.” Stepping away from Jensen, you point a stern finger at him, letting him know you mean business. 

“Yes ma’am.” He salutes before chasing after you to the green room. 

 ****

 “We really need to start picking places further from the convention site.” You laugh as you link your arms with Brian and Kim. The cool night air had the three of you rushing towards the bar after running into a gaggle of fans. All of you were hoping for a fun night away from prying eyes, and Chicago had no shortage of bars. Yet here you all were just a block away from the damn convention center trying to dodge the fans. It wasn’t that you didn’t love them, or that you were anything but thankful for them, but right now you just wanted to enjoy the company of your coworkers considering you weren’t a fan of going out tonight anyway. 

“I know but locals rave about this place and we have never been.” Bri whines as she pulls open the door to the bar. 

“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when we are swarmed.” You pull yourself from the other women and tug off your coat. You scan the large space, eyes landing on the tall men across the way. They were unmistakable, towering over almost every other patron. Jensen catches your eye and winks at you. A blush creeps up your neck under his gaze. He waves the three of you over to the tall table the rest of the cast was surrounding. You grab the others and pull them along with you. 

“Hey, we didn’t think you would make it.” Rob smiles as he flags down the waitress for you all. 

“Well, Jay just about begged that I drag out grandma Y/N over here. She hasn’t been out in a hot minute, and to be honest I’m hoping I can find her a hot piece of ass to take home. I’m kind of worried she’s dried up down there it’s been so long.” Briana and Kim take the two open seats next to each other, leaving you to sit in the only other open one next to Jensen. You gasp at her comment in mock offense, though you kind of felt bad. Bri was a great friend and you have been lying to her for almost a year now about your and Jensen’s relationship. You guys had decided to keep it quiet for numerous reasons, even from your costars. It seemed easier at the time, but now you did long to be able to hold his hand or kiss him in public. 

The waitress appears and you quickly give her your order, practically jumping from your skin when you feel a hand land on your thigh. You were lucky that the bar was dark and you were well hidden in the corner. No one noticed your current position. 

“Dried up huh?” Jensen is teasing next to you, his hand sliding up under the hem of your dress and sitting heavily on your inner thigh. He flexes his fingers, the action sending heat to your core. 

“Well, there is a lot I haven’t told Bri, so she doesn’t have all the facts.” You cast glances at everyone around the table. They all throw up hands in surrender, well except Jared. 

“Do tell.” He pries. “I’m dying to know.”

“That’s weird Jare.” Jensen turns to the giant on his other side. “I don’t think she wants to tell you about her sex life.” The waitress appeared with a round for the table. You happily take a gulp from the vodka cranberry, letting the alcohol fuzz your mind easily on your empty stomach. 

“Why, you tell me yours?” Jared’s comment had you spitting out the second drink you took, the liquid nearly coming out your nose. Certainly you knew that the boys were close, but you had no idea they traded bedroom secrets. God, are you hoping that he hasn’t discussed the two of you. Jensen just squeezes your leg tighter, his fingers dancing across your panty covered core. Your thighs clench around his fingers, trying to focus on the topic at the table, though you really didn’t want to, but at least it wouldn’t have you moaning at the table right now. 

“All the juicy secrets?” Kim leans into her elbows, fascinated with where this conversation was going. Jared leans into her too, his eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“Oh the juiciest. The last girl he slept with even-” 

“Okay! Enough story swapping, let’s respect her privacy a little bit.” Jensen smacks Jared’s shoulder only to have him bust out in laughter. 

“I agree, I’m sure she wouldn’t be super happy having a whole table of strangers hearing about her escapades.” You pipe in, trying to hide yet another blush on your cheeks. You are all to familiar with the story Jared was about to share, and mortified that he almost told the whole table. You could get behind Jay telling Jared, they were best friends after all, but Jared telling everybody else was well, not ideal. 

The friends around the table laugh in agreement and Rich quickly changes the subject to the concert and how much everybody rocked it. You take the opportunity to down the drink in front of you. Jensen still had his hand on your thigh, getting too much enjoyment out of torturing you.

The alcohol now in your system is giving you the bravery to play him at his own game. You mirror his position, your hand finding its way up his thighs and dancing quickly past his groin. Jensen’s gaze flicks towards you out of the corner of his eye and you offer him a quick, sly, smile. He responds in fever, and you have to bite your lip as his fingers slip past you panties. He’s growing under your touch, and he has to shift in his seat next to you as you work over each other. The warmth is spreading through you and you can barely focus on your own torturing. 

“Y/N, you okay? You look a little flushed?” Kim catches your very focused attention. You snap your hand back into your own lap like you’ve been shocked but Jensen doesn’t even flinch. 

“Uh, yeah, I think the alcohol is just hitting me harder than expected.” Jensen has a smug smile as he listens to whatever Jared is saying. “Actually, I think I should head back. It’s not fair to the fans if I have bags under my eyes for their photo ops.” You chuckle, your voice coming out huskier than you intended.

“Yeah?” Jensen turns to you as you speak and removes his hand. “Want me to walk you back?” 

You shrug. “If you want.”

“It’s late, I’ll walk you.” Jensen stands with you and helps you put your coat on. You guys say goodbye to everyone and Jensen leads you out of the bar, his hand on your lower back. 

It’s much quieter on the street than inside the bar, and the cold air feels amazing on your flushed skin. There are a few groups of people hanging about on the sidewalk, but none of them pay you any mind as you head towards your hotel. It’s lucky though, because it means that no one notices when Jensen drags you into the dark alley between the tall buildings. 

“What the fuck Jay?” your eyes struggle to focus in the sudden darkness. Jensen’s tall frame is towering over you, pressing you into the concrete building. 

“You think you’re so slick baby, teasing me in front of everybody.” His breath washes over you, his lips landing on you neck.

“You’re one to talk.” Jensen runs his hands up you thighs, pushing the material of your dress almost up past your ass. 

“It’s harder for me to to hide it when you get me flustered. Now what are you gonna do about it?” It was hard to imagine his voice could get any lower, and you have never heard him like this before. It had you dripping. 

“You want me to suck your cock?” You purr and drop to you knees in front of him. Jensen stares down as you look up at him, his tongue darting out to lick his lips

“Not here baby.” He does little to hide the disappointment in his voice. Jensen runs a large hand through your curls before helping you up and fixing your dress. You fake pout, jutting out your lower lip and earning a chuckle from Jay. He ran his thumb over your lip. “Come on baby, let’s get back to the hotel.” 

___________________

Part 2

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles x you #jensen x you #jensen ackles #supernatural #supernatural rpf #rpf #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn fic #supernatural fic #spn genre bingo #spngenrebingo #human nature #alex writes

[deans-baby-momma]

The Padackles Link-Chapter 57

“I don’t know Gen,” I say as soon as I get situated on the massage table, answering her earlier question about Jensen and myself. “Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate his efforts but..”

“Are you 100% sure that Jay was bothered because Dani is moving on? Has he told you that was the reason he was so upset and distant after JJ’s party? Because I have known that man for a long time, and I don’t think that’s the whole story.” 

She pauses and I consider her words for a moment before she speaks up again.

“Listen, let Jared and I keep Jackson tonight. You and Jay take this as an opportunity to get it all out. Tell him how you feel, what you are thinking and let him tell you his side of the story. He might just surprise you. But I promise you this. If Jensen is still pining for her, I will help you however you want. Need a place to stay? I got you. Want to disappear for a few days? We can go visit my parents.”

“Gen no!” It’s my turn to interrupt her. “I can’t just show up with you at your parents’ home. You don’t get as much time to visit with them as it is. They don’t need a depressed freeloader mooching on their time with their oldest daughter.” I cannot expect her to do that. I can’t expect people who are practically strangers to welcome me into their home while I’m so afflicted and my life is once again turning to shambles.

“Bullshit!” Gen exclaims. I can tell by the shift in her voice that she had lifted her head from the table so I do that same, mirroring her posture. Both of us are only covered by a thin white sheet but we lay there with our upper bodies propped up by our forearms and stare at one another.

“They love you Drea. You are like another daughter to them and they love little man as if he were their own grandson. Hell, they’ll be more than happy to spoil Jackson as much as they have Tom and Shep. Believe me! Everytime I talk to them, they always ask about you guys. They’ll want to help, trust me. And we don’t have to tell them what is going on. Just that you wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of life. Their ranch is secluded so they will more than understand.” She shrugs as she re-situates on the table. “Besides, it’s just an option. It might not even come to that. You go listen to Jay’s side of the story and then we’ll go from there, Okay?”

“Yea okay,” I concede. “We’ll see.”

I lay back down and get prepared to enjoy the body massage Jensen had so graciously gifted me but I know in my heart that hearing, that seeing Dani with a new man was agonizing to him was going to be torture. 

BACK AT THE ACKLES/MURPHY RESIDENCE

Jensen uses the free time he has while Jackson naps to put together the next phase of his plan. While Drea and Gen are being pampered, he cleans the house, finished the laundry and marinades some chicken to grill later.

After placing the bowl of food into the refrigerator, Jensen grabs his phone and opens a music app to create the perfect playlist. It doesn’t take him long to combine the songs that undeniably depicts his affection for the mother of his son. He smiles as he sits the phone down and takes a look at his surroundings. 

The house looks like a home. He knows Drea worked endlessly, turning this place into something they can both be proud to call theirs. As he waits for Jackson to wake from his nap, he takes a stroll through the main rooms of the dwelling. 

The living room, with its floor to ceiling windows is cozy even with so much natural light flowing in.The creamy beige walls complement the dark paneled ceiling and beams; the white trim was flawlessly matched to the furniture Drea had chosen. As he walks by the sofa, he runs his forefinger along the back of the chaise. The crushed velvet fabric feels so soft and elegant under his touch. The mahogany wood of the coffee table, end tables and armoire are evenly reflected in the area rug, pulling all the pieces together to create a calm and peaceful area to lounge in or to entertain guests.

Turning back toward the kitchen, Jensen takes notice of how even that room, with all its bulky appliances and countertop gadgets was welcoming. The marble-topped island gleams under the bright overhead lights. It was the piece de resistance of the room. The stainless steel of the appliances brought out the silver veins that ran through the white marble, creating a softening effect. The hickory cabinetry played off the hue of the oak floor. 

He chuckles as he remembers the way Drea had gazed dreamily at the size of the room. She went on and on about how it was better than she could have imagined and that she had never had anything that nice, growing up or while she had been married to Chad. 

FLASHBACK

“Jay, it’s perfect! It’s more than perfect! It’s elegant yet functional. I can see us hosting parties and holidays with plenty of room for everyone to congregate and mingle. And that den! Jay, did you see that den?! The windows and doors were huge! And the recessed ceilings with the beams? Oh my god, I want this house. Do you think we can afford it?”

END FLASHBACK

Jensen grins as he remembers the day he signed the final papers, making the house legally theirs. He couldn’t wait to get home and surprise Drea. He hears the tell-tale signs that Jackson is waking from his nap so he meanders toward the nursery. It was almost time for Jared to be dropping by with his two boys. The Padalecki and Ackles men were going to the park.

Returning home, I quickly realize that Jensen isn’t there. I knew he had made plans with Jared to take the kids to the park. Even though our son was too young to yet enjoy the outing, knowing Jared’s method of watching kids, Tom and Shep were probably running rampant on the play area. The big guy loved to feed his kids sweets and then laugh at them as they ran amok. It was one of Genevieve’s biggest grievances. 

Since I am now home alone, no baby to take care off, I decide to enjoy a glass of wine. The day of indulgence at the spa had been relaxing and refreshing but the conversation with Gen had not. It brought up more questions than answers.

Was living with Jensen under the same roof a good thing? Was there so much tension in the air that it was going to have a negative effect on Jackson? Should I try and take our son and move out, taking him away from his father? Would that really be beneficial?

There is no doubt in my mind that Jensen doesn’t completely adore his son and he would in no way do anything detrimental to his child. But with things so bitter between us, were we just causing a hostile environment to raise a kid?

As I sip on the burgundy liquid, I resolutely came to a conclusion.

AT THE PARK

“Jare, man. I swear I don’t know what else to do,” Jensen voices as he holds his son while the Padalecki boys frolic around the toddler equipment at the playground.

“Have you tried explaining it to her?” Jared inquires, quickly reprimanding his oldest son. “Thomas, don’t climb on that!” 

“Dude, I have tried so many times but she just cuts me off, changes the subject,” Jensen declares, bouncing Jackson when he begins to whimper. “It’s like she is so sure she is right that she doesn’t want to hear any different.”

“Cognitive dissonance,” Jared states with a nod of his head. “I kinda get that. She has forced herself into believing  that you are going to ‘come to your senses and leave her’ that she refuses to consider anything to the contrary.”

“But I love her. Man, I love her so much. Why does she assume I’m going to leave?”

“Think about it Jay. The two most important people in her life, her mom and her husband, left her. Albeit, not willingly but a person’s mind can play some cruel tricks. She loved her mom tremendously and she got sick and died. Then she found Chad and fell deeply in love with him and was happy and then boom, he was gone. Plus, you guys lost a son. I know she loved Jacob dearly. Just another person that she cared for and is no longer here,” Jared ascertains. He chuckles and glances at his best friend before speaking up, keeping an eye on his own kids. “Hell, if I didn’t know better, I’d think she has Sam Winchester syndrome.”

Jensen rolls his eyes but smiles, lifting a sleepy Jackson onto his shoulder. “God help me then.”

THAT EVENING

After our girls day, Gen came back to the house and picked Jackson up along with his diaper bag and an overnight bag. “Talk. To. Him,” she had ordered me before walking out of the house and to her car. I turned around and headed to the bathroom. I want to shower and be relaxed when Jensen and I have that conversation.

Coming out of the bedroom, I smell the enticing aroma of Jensen’s  Italian chicken so I head to the kitchen to see if I can assist. 

I stand in the doorway between the hall and the kitchen and just watch him. He was so into preparing the food that he hadn’t noticed me yet. It gave me time to appreciate the man in front of me. Jensen was a very good-looking man with his symmetrical features. He was tall and lean but also had a bit of muscle to him, partially from years of doing some of his own stunt work and working out. His golden brown hair was styled in its usual fashion and I could hear faint humming along with the music on his phone coming from his plump pink lips. As I continued to watch him preparing dinner, I couldn’t help but feel my heart swell. I love him so much; that’s why it hurt so bad to know that he was still hung up on Dani. 

When he turns to grab a plate, Jensen finally notices me and smiles. The delighted expression reaches his green eyes easily. 

“Hey. I was just making you a plate. Want to join me in the dining nook?”

“Sure,” I reply as I head to the refrigerator. “Want a beer or water?”

“Nun uh. You go sit. I’m catering to you tonight.”

With a nod of my head, I turn and approach the table in the nook. There are two long-stemmed candlesticks in the middle and two empty wineglasses, along with a vase of flowers.. Along the windowsill are five tealights, their flames flickering giving off a charming ambience. Jensen had really outdone himself.

“You’ve just thought of everything haven’t you?” I ask with a smirk as I sit and watch him carry two plates and a bottle of wine over.

“Yep.”

After the plates are cleared, Jensen and I sit at the table and just enjoy each other’s company. For the first time in a while, I feel at ease and comfortable with him again. I go to speak when he beats me to it.

“Drea, can we talk? About what’s going on?”

I remember my promise to Gen, that I would listen to whatever he has to tell me, and nod my head. Picking up my wine glass, I take a sip.

“Can I ask you why you think that I’m still in love with Dani?”

“Because I know you are,” I whisper. “Actions speak louder than words. You were so upset that she had moved on that you got drunk, yelled at me and then took off.”

“Baby,” Jensen sighs. “You have it so totally wrong. I didn’t get upset that she was moving on. I’m happy for her. I hope she can find someone to love her as much as I love you. No, it was the WHO she was moving on with.”

“Josh?” I ask, confused. “Why?”

“Because,” Jensen sighs and reaches for my hand. “It’s simple really. He hurt you and she turns around and begins dating him just to throw it in your face.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Oh, how twisted things had become. Jensen had a look of confusion on his face as I continue. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Jay, he didn’t hurt me,” I begin explaining. “Yes, we dated. Mostly to help out Dani but I continued seeing him after we got those results. But honey, I didn’t love him. I wasn’t in love with him. I just….it felt good to have someone to go out with, have a good time. Baby, it doesn’t bother me a bit that Dani is dating Josh. Hell, he is a great guy. And he’s good with kids so we don’t have to worry about JJ. I’m happy for them.”

“What?” Jensen asked, incredulous. “I mean, I know you said when you broke up it was because you didn’t return his feelings, but are you saying-”

“I’m saying, I never loved Josh. Not the least little bit. He was a good friend, that was it.”

“But you two seemed to get along so well. I just knew you two were headed somewhere.”

“Nah, never saw him that way,” I answered, with a shrug of my shoulders. “Like I said, it was someone to go out with. He isn’t my type.”

Jensen quickly gets up and heads to the kitchen, picking his phone up and turning up the volume. Once the guitar begins to play, I recognize the song and feel tears well up into my eyes. Jensen approaches me and holds out his hand for me to take. 

As soon as I am standing he pulls me into his embrace and we begin swaying, him whisper-singing the song in my ear. 

I guess the time was right for us to say 

We'd take our time and live our lives

Together day by day

We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer

We know our dreams will all come true

With love that we can share

With you I never wonder - will you be there for me?

With you I never wonder - you're the right one for me?

I finally found the love of a lifetime

A love to last my whole life through

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime

With every kiss, our love is like brand-new

And every star up in the sky

Was made for me and you

Still we both know that the road is long

We know that we will be together

Because our love is strong

I finally found the love of a lifetime

A love to last my whole life through

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Ooh, I finally found the love of a lifetime

A love to last my whole life through, ooh

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime (I finally found the love of a lifetime)

Love of a lifetime (I finally found the love of a lifetime)

I finally found the love (I finally found the love of a lifetime)

Ooh, forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime, ooh.

“Drea, I love you so much. I was trying to honor you by being pissed that my ex was dating your ex and in the midst of that I almost lost you. You are my love of a lifetime and I don’t ever want to lose you.” 

I look up into his jade green eyes to see them wet and almost overflowing. I smile as I tiptoe and whisper in his ear. “Jensen Ackles, I love you too. Make love to me.”

What’d you think? Please leave me some feedback HERE.

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#the padackles link #Jensen Ackles #danneel ackles #Jared Padalecki #Genevieve Padalecki #drea murphy #jensen x drea #romance #angst #Smut #cheating #pregnancy #spn rpf #friendship #rpf fiction

[missjackil]

Enter at Your Own Risk

I’m having some very heavy negative feelings about the SPN “Fandom” right now, if you’re interested, read on, if not. scroll on by.

So this has been a very long hiatus... longer than the Christmas break and in 2 weeks it will be over. I’m excited because I miss Sam and Dean so much, but I'm also depressed because it’s down to the last half of the last season and we won't ever, I repeat EVER have any new content. Why? Well... I know you all have your ideas, but I will go to my grave believing the “fandom” chased them away.

These guys have worked with and had fun with people for 15 years, consider them family, and the “fandom” does nothing but complain about them. Relentlessly, Sometimes J2 express their thoughts about some storylines they didn't like, or moments they thought were OOC but no one who has ever worked anywhere for any length of time has had 0 complaints. However, no one ever stays in one place for 15 years when they have had other opportunities when they don’t love it. 

SPN’s ratings never tanked. Not once, not ever... there was a drop in ratings after s1 which happens with every show, especially before Netflix, so a drop from S1 to 2 doesn't count. They have maintained a place in the top 3 shows on CW/WB through all the seasons, and even now when ratings are low, they still are in the top 3 of the network. Ratings only show LIVE viewing which not many people do anymore. Every network has lost live viewers across the board because of streaming and DVR, so everyone pretending it had anything to do with ratings or losing viewers, just sounds uneducated. 

Going into S14, J2 announced they were having shorter seasons. Why? So they could spend more time with their family, keep the show going indefinitely, and not burn out. They said numerous times, that they planned to keep going as far as the show will take them. Had they already planned to only go 15 seasons, that's when they would have made the announcement. So the show and the network could make as much money off them as they could before it ends.

However, in S14 something changed. For starters, Jensen worked hard on the character Michael!Dean spent many hours with a linguist JUST so he could speak the Arabic words correctly in 14x1 and then he’s thrown hate on SM when he had solo interviews at SDCC of the “fandom” assuming he and TPTB were dissing Jared so they could promote Michael!Dean and then when Jared explained at the NY Premier what had happened, no one recanted their hate. And then the season starts and SM exploded with how much everyone hated Michael!Dean!!! And what do we notice next? After the half, there was an awkward change.   

I believe it was during the break that J2, decided to call it quits. We had the story of getting Kaia home kinda vanish, the stalker girl from Optimism fell by the wayside, Charlie disappeared and woops, so did most of the AU hunters. Can’t follow through on new stories when suddenly, there's less overall story to tell.

Then we have the mysterious, heart-wrenching story about how Jared had some kind of breakdown while trying to perform the “I believe in us” scene in Prophet and Loss.  In his own words, he said he physically couldn't say the words and perform the actions of shoving Dean in the chest. It was so bad that Jensen was worried Jared had a stroke! Jared then said that he made it through, and went home cried himself to sleep feeling like he's disappointing everyone. 

Why on earth would that happen? Because he didn’t want to end it. He probably felt like he was projecting his disapproval of this decision onto Jensen. “This is WRONG this is QUITTING!! I believe in US... why don’t you believe in us too?”

Just watch that scene and see if you can’t see why it would have been so hard for Jared to get through it if he didn't want to stop the show! Almost as though he was telling Jensen (between the lines) “So what if the fans didnt like this, there will be a better story, but if we quit now their wont be another story!”

If that’s not convincing enough, we have Jensen in his own words and Jared confirming, that this season, when Jensen showed up day 1 to start directing, he felt so good being there that he texted Jared “2 more seasons?” and Jared replied, “Let’s talk”. 

Maybe they were waiting to see how you “fans” would take the new season? Maybe if you haters weren't such assholes even as the show is going out, maybe they would have worked something out to stay on longer? But no, all SM is bitching over the most ridiculous things! Like OMG SIDE CHARACTERS!!! or the guys looking a little goofy in a purposely silly episode. Like seriously, wtf guys?

And here’s the kicker.... you are all gushing over the nice J2 pics, the funny interviews, and TV magazine pics, that we’re never gonna have again after a couple months. We will get some con footage, but gone are the days of J2 interviews, funny and sometimes impressive Shaving People Punting Things videos, gag reels, etc. We will be lucky if we even get “caught in the wild” J2 pics. And most heartbreakingly, we won't ever see them working together outside of con panels. 

And cons will now be “Jared are you gonna have Jensen on Walker?” “Jensen are you putting out a new album or got your eyes on a new role?”

But hey, I guess that's worth it just so we don't have to see Claire, or Cass again huh? As long as annoying little Hellers don't have any material... it's so worth throwing the baby out with the bathwater. 

I know its not the whole fandom who want the show to end, but unfortunately, the loudest mouths (fingers) were heard.  And seriously, most of you dont really give a rats ass about the boys, the show or the real fans. You have a dozen other fandoms you're in and you're just bored with this one. So instead of just moving on, make sure you trash something that is making a lot of other people happy.  Karma is a bitch though.... just saying

Rant over.... for now

#fandom critical #miss jacki rants

[fanficcollection]

Tumblr - Girl (Part 15)

Tumblr – Girl (Part 15) Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: Boy-Time in the evening, Mishas plan seems to fail. Word Count: ~2400 Warnings: just a few little mentions of panic attacks, angst, depression, mental illness and self doubt, mentions of manipulation, mentions of implied rape, mentions of self harm

Part 1 Masterlist  

Notes: I’d be glad for your feedback!

 Mishas PoV

I stayed with Jensen the whole evening, we ordered some food and some beer and just enjoyed the time. We laughed a lot and I realized that we hadn’t spent an evening like that for ages. After a short time Jared joined us and told us, that the rest of the cast was heading out to have some drinks in a bar. We nodded, but nobody was in the mood to join them. “We will see them tomorrow. I guess they won’t even miss us. We wouldn’t be here normally on a Friday“, Jensen said and the two of us agreed. After having dinner we talked a lot about the times, when this conventions started. When there were just a few people. We never thought this would get that big. We took a trip down the memory lane, brought up every little detail about the experiences we made together.

After a while Jared got up. “Oh guys… I’m so glad I met you! I love you. ” he smiled at us “But I’m heading to bed, it’s been a long day… Have a good night, see you tomorrow.” After he left the room Jensen looked at me for a moment and said nothing. “So.. Is the plan on track? Will we meet your mysterious girl tomorrow?” he asked with a smile on his face. “I- I don’t know.” I stumbled. “She wrote that she would choose little panels, because she is afraid from too many people.” I said honestly. “So.. She is here. But I don’t know if I can get her to visit my panel… Or our panel.. “ I looked at the floor. “Jensen, I don’t know what to do… It’s weird, I don’t even know this woman and still I feel like I have to meet her. I have to know who she is. And if this won’t work out, I don’t know how to get to her again. This is my last chance..” Jensen patted my shoulder. “It’s okay, Misha. We will make this happen. So what did she write in her last message?”

I took my phone out, opened the tumblr-app and then realized that there was a new message. “Wait.. There is a new one.” I told Jensen completely lost in the message. After I read through it I put down my phone “No.”  I whispered. “There is no chance, that our plan will work out. “ After a few seconds I realized. I stared at the wall. “Buddy? What’s wrong.” Jensen asked and I could hear that he was worried in his voice. I couldn’t say a word, so I just passed him my phone and he also read through the message. “So… The girl today during the R2M panel?” he pressed out slowly. I turned my head and looked at him “I guess we have met her already.. But there is no chance to get her to the panels.” I desperately thought about a solution for this problem “Even if she would be out of the hospital tomorrow, she wouldn’t come to one of our panels, there are too many people. And I can’t get her a VIP Ticket out of nowhere, like this would make her and many other people suspicious. And I can’t just go to her hospital room… there is no good way to meet her.” I stood up and went up and down, I couldn’t think about anything that would work out. “Why not?” Jensen replied out of the silence. “Why not what?” I told loudly, I couldn’t help myself but I got annoyed by Jensen’s question. “Sorry.” I uttered “I… I just can’t…” I looked at Jensen, I saw the concern in his eyes. “Why can’t we visit her at the hospital?” he suggested “I mean, you carried her out, we helped her, we called the ambulance, it would be just okay if we wanted to know how she does. I mean, we always looked out for the SPNFamily, would it really be so out of the world to visit her after a breakdown we caused?” In the meantime Jensen had stood up as well stood towards me “Look at me, buddy. We will fix this.” He affirmed and he pulled me into a tight hug. “Everything is going to be okay, Misha.” I just fell into this hug and let it last for a few seconds. “You are right. Thank you, Jensen.” Slowly I found my strength again and gave him a short squeeze. “We will figure it out. Tomorrow. Try to get some sleep.” Jensen said and I nodded. “yeah, that sounds good. Good night, Jensen. See you tomorrow.” I left his room and went back in my own. His idea wasn’t bad, I could visit Y/N in the hospital tomorrow and she wouldn’t suspect anything. Nobody would suspect anything. It was the perfect plan. With these thoughts I went to bed and I slept like a baby.

Your PoV

It was weird to be in hospital again, last time you were here you met Jacob. You smiled, when you thought about this first time. He was very charming and sympathetic. You remembered the first appointments, when he helped you to manage your self harm issues. You remembered when he helped you to get along with the world and during this process you really fell for him. You didn’t know what to do without him. You were really happy in this first time, sure, you still needed Jacob, you still loved him, he was there, when you needed him, but you didn’t felt like a good girlfriend. Sometimes you didn’t feel like you were enough for him, you couldn’t enjoy the love he gave you, you often thought about this, you couldn’t survive the loss of Jacob, you needed him.

Sunk in your thoughts you didn’t notice Beck entering the room. “Good morning, Y/N! How was your night?” she asked and you startled up “Oh… Beck! Good morning…” you said and smiled, this was crazy, you met this girl just one day before and she cared for you like a really good friend. “What’s the time?” you yawned and Beck giggled. “It’s early, a few minutes after eight. I thought, you would like some nice breakfast, so I got us something from the bakery… I don’t think hospital-food tastes that well…” You laughed. “Well, you are right.” You tried to stand up to sit at the desk together with Beck, but there were some cables which stopped you from doing so. “Okay, then let’s have breakfast in bed.” You suggested and you made some space, so Beck could sit in your bed with you.

Mishas PoV

It was Saturday. Like at every other convention our schedule didn’t start until tomorrow, so we had a lot of time to figure things out. Although I went to bed late, I couldn’t sleep much longer than 7 am. I wasn’t as nervous as I was yesterday, it was easier to keep calm and look forward to meeting Y/N today, there wasn’t that much that could go wrong anymore. After taking a long shower I called at the convention centre. “Hello, it’s Misha Collins… yes… yeah, I’m fine… no… no, I just wanted to ask you something… yes… ahm… it’s about an incident which happened yesterday… In the evening… yes… there was a woman, who collapsed at a panel… We called the ambulance… yes, exactly… I just wanted to ask in which hospital she was taken… Yes… okay… Thank you. Yeah, have a nice day. Bye.” That was easier than I thought. I smiled and looked at the address of the hospital. I put on a casual T-Shirt, my black jacket and a cap. I really loved our fans, but today I wanted to stay, well, unknown. I checked my tumblr app for some new information, but there wasn’t anything. Sure, she was waiting for a response from Dmitri. I smiled, maybe I would tell her today, maybe this whole hide-and-seek game was over soon. In this second you heard somebody leave his room next to you: “Ready?” Jensen asked and you really could hear the smile on his face. “Yeah. Ready.” I agreed and closed the room door behind me “Then, lets meet this mysterious lady. “ Jensen stated and I smiled.

Jensen got us a taxi; the ride to the hospital wasn’t that long. “Do you know what you want to say to her?” Jensen asked. I looked at him, he was wearing sunglasses and a black cap to stay anonymous and I smiled. “You look like some kind of famous guy trying to stay ‘undercover’” I said and we laughed. “I don’t know what to say, I just want to meet her. I want to see that she is good… I don’t know, if I’ll tell her who I am, to be honest...” Jensen nodded “How do you think she will react? I mean, if she doesn’t know about your double life, she just knows us as actors. Actors of her favourite TV-show. She will be more than surprised. “ I laughed… “Well, I guess we’ll find out in about 5 minutes, we are here.” I paid the taxi-driver and took a deep breath while I looked at the entrance of the hospital. When we entered I went to a guy who looked like he worked at the hospital. “Sorry, I’m looking for a young woman, who was brought here yesterday from the convention centre. She had a panic attack or something like that..” the guy eyed us “Are you family?” he asked and I shook my head “we helped her out yesterday and I just want to know she is well.” – “Well, so you don’t even know her? I think I can’t let you in.”

Suddenly Jensen came from behind me “We are family, just not the typical one, she’ll know us and we know her..” he said. I saw that the guy didn’t believe him. “So.. If you know her, can you tell me her full name?” the guy at the entrance asked and I opened my mouth to answer, but I…, well… I didn’t know. A moment there was silence, then the hospital-guy said “Family, huh.. I’m sorry guys, but I can’t let you in. There are rules.” I looked at him, I couldn’t say anything, this was just not possible. I saw Jensen talking to the hospital-guy, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. After a while the guy shook his head again, Jensen turned to me “This is a data protection thing, he said, that they had problems with the authorities. Maybe you can write her, that we are waiting out here? But then you would have to tell here that Dmitri and Misha are one person… I don’t know… What do you wanna do?” To be honest I thought about that as well. I could just tell her everything. She would be angry at me for lying, maybe she wouldn’t meet me ever again… Or I just… We could just leave the hospital, get back to the convention and I could keep writing her every now and then, playing Dmitri. “I need to think.. Give me five minutes.” I told Jensen and we sat down in the waiting area of the hospital. We just sat there. Jensen next to me. Nobody said a word. Nobody moved. Nothing happened. Everything seemed silent. “You said, we’ll get this.” I blamed Jensen. “Mish-“ he tried but in the next moment I stood up. “Let’s get back to the convention.. It makes no sense to wait here. Nobody knows we are here” I forced a smile “We’ll have another chance to meet her.. someday..”

Jensen still said nothing. He didn’t know what to say, after a few seconds he stood up as well. “Yeah.. Maybe that’s for the best. There will be another opportunity. Let’s go… “. We were heading to the door when we heard someone saying our names behind us “Is… is this real? Misha? Jensen?” somebody grasped. “Sorry. I didn’t want to bother you.. I just was… surprised.” There was a girl standing behind us, I looked at her shortly and forced a smile. “Hi.. nice to meet you..” I said but I couldn’t get myself to do some smalltalk. In that moment Jensen jumped in “Hey. So you know our names, but we don’t know yours. Can you help us out?” he asked and winked at her. She stared at us for a minute until she realized the question. “Ohh.. yeah. Sure.. I’m Beck.. “ she had to clear her throat “So.. what are you doing here? I mean… why aren’t you at the convention center?” she asked and Jensen looked at me for a brief moment “Oh.. there was an accident yesterday. During a panel. A girl passed out.. We wanted to be sure, that she is fine.” He said. At this moment I looked at the girl closer. I knew her, she looked familiar. “Beck? You… You were there yesterday?” I asked slowly. She nodded “You remember that?” she asked and her eyes widened. I smiled.. “Of course. You went with the ambulance, didn’t you? So you are visiting the girl as well?” she nodded… “She is called Y/N.” she said “And she is fine. Do you want to visit her?” Beck asked “I think she would be very happy, when you have a few minutes?” I didn’t look at Jensen, but I felt the smile on his face and I felt the smile, which grew bigger on mine. “That would be nice.” I said and Beck told us to follow her. We went a short way and a few moments later Beck knocked at a door “Y/N?” she asked and we heard a voice from the inside of the room “Beck.. I thought you wanted to go back to the convention? Did you forget something?” Beck laughed. “No.. I got you new company… and maybe I’ll stay here for a few more minutes.” She said and pointed us to come in. Jensen went first and close after him I also entered the room. “Hey Y/N” Jensen said smiling. I stared at her for a short moment and then I also started with a “Hello Y/N… how are you?”

Tag list (let me know if you want to be tagged):

@chantelle-c333​​ @awolfamongstus​​ @jannalionheart @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​​ @evyiione​​ @destielschild​​ @xx-melissa-x @kcam1621​​ @smoothdogsgirl​​ @kristendanwayne​​  @haappy-go-lucky @laffytaffyhumor​​ @thebookisbtr​​@michell868​​ @duubaduu​​ @darthcastiel​​ @theoneandonlysuccubus​​ @internationalmusicteacher​​ @gracejo2 @nanie5​​  @goobykeding​ @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @irene-frazer​​ @thealienplace​ @hey-an-original-url​ @youknowitsmj​ @anspgene​ @sarahbaker2010​ @mimzy1994​ @shore-line-jewels187​ @aberrant-annie​ @shiivaley @thefansomdad​

#SPN #spnfandom #SPNFamily #spn cast #spn fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #fan #fanfic #fanfiction #Fanart #writing #misha #Misha Collins #misha x reader #tumblr girl #spn fanfic #supernatural fandom #supernatural family #real person fiction

[dimples-of-discontent]

Thoughts on “Destiel is Real.”

So, I’ve been relatively scarce of late (except for when I went bonkers with reblogging deadly Cockles content...which I think I blacked out from b/c it was like being waaayyyy too high and it’s all their fault) because, if y’all don’t know, I have stage 4 breast cancer and am in chemo. I’m tolerating it really well but it takes a surprising amount of time, actually, especially since I’m still working 80% time and also living alone so doing house stuff etc. 

This is all to say that I’m weighing in on things belatedly a lot. Like, I do still want to analyze the Cockles JIB panel as a whole b/c, oh my, was there a lot there. But today I will settle for this piece of it. I apologize if this is reduplicating what smart folks said elsewhere right when it happened. I was also off Twitter to avoid having it bring me down so I might just be really unaware. But as soon as this moment happened I was like, “oh man we’re gonna argue about this for like 84 years.” So here’s my small contribution on what this reminded me of.

To me, listening to Jensen and watching him engage the crowd, inspired a lot of anxiety b/c it did definitely seem like he was pissed off. I just couldn’t tell with what or who, especially given firsthand context from some folks in the room like @bluestar86​ who wrote this account: https://twitter.com/bluestar861/status/1130255687290937344?s=21 about the general positivity Jensen and Misha had shown earlier (which is why Misha mentioned the shirt) and how the energy in the room was almost entirely positive. I totally believe that. But it didn’t reconcile easily with what I felt I saw from Jensen.

Until I remembered SDCC 2011. The one where Misha had been fired and all of them knew but none of the fans do. I wrote a long meta on that panel that I’m actually super happy with so maybe check it out? Anyway, this is how I described some of the dynamics:

The way everyone is sitting at this table isolates Sera and the body language from Jared and Jensen is openly hostile. Jensen especially pushes himself as far away as possible, defensively crosses his arms, leans away, doesn’t make any eye contact. Jared is also pissed and is functionally shielding Misha with his body while he does the first Cas question. Both of them are very protective and Jensen is more than a little hostile. They also both keep egging the audience on in their love for Cas/Misha, as when Jensen shouts “YEAH!” in affirmation of audience shrieks about the character. They want to show Sera what a piss poor decision it was to take Misha away from the fans…and from them. Whatever else you see happening these are some amazing friends.  

So, we had a remarkably angry Jensen at this panel and he was angry specifically because the network had made what he considered--both professionally and personally--to be a fucking terrible decision. But he couldn’t say that. He’s got NDAs and stuff to worry about. So instead he settled, among other things, from egging the audience on to show how much they loved and wanted more Castiel. 

Now I’m not saying the correlation is 1-1 with Destiel. But I am suggesting a thought experiment where something similar could be going on. And by “something similar” I mean “Jensen has inside knowledge about a thing the network has decided that he thinks is fucking stupid and that will hurt the fandom.” Like, oh for example, they’re not moving Destiel out of the subtext.

Additional fuel for this fire. Many have speculated that it’s network president Mark Pedowitz who’s the blocker. Jensen, earlier in the panel, asks the audience to applaud Pedowitz. That’s weird and he’s never done it before. True, Jared was talking about how Pedowitz says that they set examples for other shows and that Pedowitz is complimenting them on it so it was at least that in part. But Jensen is MASTERFUL at throwing shade while appearing to be doing the correct, professional thing. Witness his comments about Bob Singer and last year’s S13 finale. He’s done it with Eugenie and Sera too and probably others I don’t know about. Having the audience applaud Pedowitz if he knows something negative about Pedowitz--something the audience won’t like and that will actively hurt many of them--has a major bite of irony that I feel Jensen is perfectly capable of trying to engineer. (Or maybe there hasn’t been a final decision but he knows it doesn’t look good and why. Don’t lose hope! This is just speculation and a thought experiment.)

I’m going to put the JIB analysis under a cut, since it’s long and has lots of images. It ends with “The most similar behavior I saw was Jensen angrily getting the audience to cheer for something, even doing the same hand-raising gesture. In 2011 it was Castiel (”Go on! Show Sera how much you love the character she killled!”) and this time it was Destiel (”Go on! Show the network how much you love the ship they won’t textualize!”). That’s what made me think, initially, that he may know something about plans for Destiel that a) makes him mad, b) that he considers a bad decision by the network, c) that he thinks that audience will be hurt by.”

Anyway,

If you watch the JIB panel (starting about 12 mins in) you see, first, that Jensen wants Misha not to bring it up. He raises his hand at Misha which I first thought was him being like “shhhhhh don’t bring that up!” but which on repeat viewing I think was him actually just trying to get Misha to shut up so he could literally try to understand what she was saying. Once the audience reacts to Misha’s comment these are their faces:

Jared is absolutely looking at Misha like, “dude, why did you have to go and do that? You just threw a live grenade onstage.” Jensen is hamming it up gesturing at the audience to scream louder. 

Jared changes his face to “well, when you’re right, you’re right! What are you gonna do.”

Here’s Jensen. He’s looking grumpy. Now, is it fake grumpy, a recognized and favored persona that he has. Or is it actually grumpy? Or is it both”

I think it’s both. But I also think he looks sad. And concerned. Like, on behalf of the audience not for him. Now you can say I’m projecting if you want--this is all total rampant speculation--but look at his eyes. I think he’s upset that he has to talk about this at all (since he knows a little about the fandom conflict it sets off) but there’s something else. 

He pauses for a good, long time looking at the audience responding. And according to Saz and others the response was HUGELY POSITIVE! So why does he then announce into the mic with a grumpy fake laugh and what I honestly have to call sarcasm, “Destiel is real!” 

Note that Misha is not worried by this. If Jensen were actually legitimately furious I think Misha would look a little worried. But instead he looks amused and curious about where this is going.

This is Jensen asking “Is it?” for the first time. He looks intentionally confused - that’s the bit he’s doing. 

Here’s Jensen after the audience starts to audibly yell “Nooooo!!” His face says “WHAAAAAAT!?”

People then yell “yes” to drown them out and he asks, “Where?”

Second “where?”. Maybe he’s trying to get them to say “subtext” - a word the cast has great familiarity with and which was used in “Fan Fiction” and which they can joke around a lot about. That’s my guess. Maybe he has a subtext joke set up he wants to do with Misha. (Remember his tweet to Misha during “Fan Fiction: “you keep your subtext to yourself. I’m not that kind of girl. Wait...”)

They don’t - at least not clearly. Someone in the front row says, “Nowhere.” Misha says, “Help” (after mouthing something at someone in the audience that is probably “I’m sorry about this.” Jensen checks on Misha BUT disregards the fact that he’s looking over at the question-asker (who didn’t even ASK a Destiel question, just wear a shirt she liked) and asks “Where?” AGAIN.

Misha then takes things in hand and reaches out to tell Jensen, “don’t get into a fight with these people.” Jared is making a “Yikes!” face at the person in the first row who is continually yelling “Nowhere!”. 

Jensen does sit down, but he’s mad. He’s really tense and it takes him a while to shake it off. 

Who’s he tense with? The most obvious answer is the audience but let’s consider a couple things. 1) The audience was giving a mixed answer, including and sometimes more loudly the “Nowhere!” that you would think Jensen would want to hear IF he were angry/tense about the “Destiel is real” shirt or the audience’s support of it. 2) He was demanding consensus and an answer to where it was real EITHER to have them say “nowhere”--which they did so why not just stop?--OR to get them to say something like “subtext” to lead them into either a question or a bit about it.

So why keep pushing? Hoping to change the answer? Hoping to find consensus? Or maybe just hoping to get them to make a lot of noise about it for a long time (at which he succeeded). Now, Jensen is famously inconsistent about Destiel and also famously different onstage, especially for J2 audiences...though this, the most Holy Gay panel of all the panels, isn’t a place he’d shy away from, e.g. “What would Dean and Cas do on a trip to Rome? Everything I think of right now is inappropriate.” 

Which brings us back to “who’s he tense with”? Could it be only part of the audience? Which part? The part yelling “nowhere” or the part yelling whatever positive things they were yelling? I’m going to hypothesize, based on a LOT of other stuff that I’ve written about, that he’s annoyed with the negative folks spoiling it for everyone with their “nowheres” and is trying to get the positive folks to drown them out and give him a good answer he can run with. 

The fact that nothing coherent emerges is actually what gets him annoyed. And, by extension, the volume and persistence of that small part of the audience, which lets people like Pedowitz shoot down the idea of textual Destiel as something the viewers “don’t want,” annoys the living shit out of him because he sees the viewers all the time and knows that a majority of them either are ok with or actively want textual Destiel.  I imagine him thinking something along the lines of, “Why can’t these nice people just have what they want? It’s b/c of assholes like you.”

He definitely lets his emotions get the better of him. He was already not in the best place, thanks to circumstances I hope to write about later but which boil down to having his special panel with Misha (that he was visibly psyched for from the moment he got onstage, “I always have so much fun with you!”) taken away because he got some awkward wood from being choked and straddled. So with that grumpiness he was primed not to make the best decisions. He gets aggressive and confrontational when he’s pissed, which is a thing I don’t love about him, even though it’s very easy to see why, and maybe this was just his battleground of choice. 

To get back to the thought experiment about whether this is like SDCC 2011, though, I think it could be. I think it’s far more complex, given all the discourse surrounding Destiel and Jensen’s own sexuality. (Here’s a post I wrote in response to a question about Jensen and Destiel and bi!Dean that asked whether I thought he experienced them as about himself and Misha.) It’s tough, b/c each piece of evidence could go both ways (ha). Either mentioning Pedowitz for applause is excellent shade or total sincerity. Either Jensen is mad at the pro-Destiel audience and trying to get them to admit that they’re wrong, or he’s mad at the antis and trying to get them drowned out. 

The most similar behavior I saw was Jensen angrily getting the audience to cheer for something, even doing the same hand-raising gesture. In 2011 it was Castiel (”Go on! Show Sera how much you love the character she killled!”) and this time it was Destiel (”Go on! Show the network how much you love the ship they won’t textualize!”). That’s what made me think, initially, that he may know something about plans for Destiel that a) makes him mad, b) that he considers a bad decision by the network, c) that he thinks that audience will be hurt by.

Given his shift in attitude overall and the mood of the room as described by attendees, it seems plausible to me that his engagement was a performance, using the audience, of what it is the viewers ACTUALLY want. But it could also just have been a grouchy Jensen taking it out on an old, familiar punching bag - the topic he never wants to discuss onstage - Destiel.

#jensen about destiel #jensen feels #jensen meta #panel meta #jibcon 2019 #jib 10 #wank adjacent #negativity for ts #wank for ts #just in case #sdcc 2011 #text vs subtext #network things #mark pedowitz #actor opinions #sexuality speculation #only in a link though #I honestly hope you know the question wasn't about the ship #misha brought it up #then regretted it #j2m #lots of face journeys here #my meta #and actually there is no cockles here which seems crazy #except of course it's everywhere #in misha's gentle little touch to stop jensen #the way jensen will sit down when he does that #what a complex guy he is #it's why I'm never over him #anyway