#and what i didn’t show was misha saying ‘that was a private moment’ and then they both look away smiling and misha goes

[sunglassesmish]

the way misha always puts his hand on jensen’s shoulder so he doesn’t interrupt him but signals he wants to say something… it gets me everytime

#my gifs #cockles #jensen ackles #jensen was saying ‘some people even in this panel were saying they couldn’t wait to go back (after the filming hiatus) #and misha was like ‘that was a private conversation between us’ and jensen goes ‘i didn’t say who!’ #and that’s where it cuts off #and what i didn’t show was misha saying ‘that was a private moment’ and then they both look away smiling and misha goes #‘unbelievable. is nothing sacred’ #anyways. i didn’t add that frankly because it’s too long

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 2

split in six for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 3/8/23

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 3 (know your cockles history, the intimacy)

part 4  (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

part 6 (jibcon continued, just for cute continued)

#pray4jensen:

compilation

straddlegate | straddlegate boner | video | another viewpoint | photo showing jensen’s smirk | photo showing the hand action 

the unicorn laugh | more | more unicorn laugh | more laughing

indiarussia | the indiarussia accent unicorn laugh | another one

audio of jensen calling misha dmitri | gifs of the moment

cheering for misha to strip | reaction to misha stripping | fanning himself | gifs minus jared 🐚

staring at misha like he’s the sun | more staring | more staring | even more | a compilation 🐚

the mish reach™

pouting because misha and jared are talking to each other

“i’ll take misha”

Accent Kink Activated (honcon) | alternate angle | just previous | hd photos

“misha is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

that time jensen tried to facetime misha so he could participate in a panel | he really wanted misha to pick up | and looked really sad when he didn’t :(

unnecessary touching

“who needs on-camera relationships when you have relationships like this?”

jensen losing his fucking mind over meeting a dog named misha

prolonged eye contact over beer bottle

“i love you, misha”

misha telling the story of how jensen looked up their zodiac compatibility and said “thank god” | discussion of what that compatibility is

jensen’s like yes okay i can touch him right? yeah friends touch nbd that’s not suspicious at all just a quick pat on his back going good yes okay and then i’ll just rest my hand there nope nope TIME TO MOVE TOO LONG ABORT i’ll just clap wait we’re not clapping yet ahHHH shit don’t look at his aSS

“i’m just lingering now”

jensen gushing over misha watching scoobynatural

talking about misha in an interview

“i’m not gonna lie, have you seen him in a dress?

tries to sit next to misha, isn’t allowed :(

blowing a kiss

jensen praising misha

lowkey holding misha’s hand

the way jensen likes being bossed around… | bonus angle

jensen falls over laughing because misha is wearing socks

“he’s like a little puppy”/”he’s like a little teddy bear”

jensen elbowing jared because he wants to play foosball opposite misha

wrote “yum” on cas fanart

slapped misha’s crotch while wrapping cas’s body | telling the story

crashing misha’s video with rob, looking awfully possessive

with danneel vs with misha

being like, “who isn’t excited about misha”

tenderly handling a castiel standee

complaining about cas’s clothes | ragging on misha’s sweater

yeah voting is important, but can we get misha some better filters?

pants adjustment

and another boner... apparently just from being in misha’s presence (gifs, if you’re really interested)

maybe getting a boner just from talking about misha??

“misha’s the only one that didn’t get it up”

“thank you for your question. i like it when people include misha.”

stares like a besotted fool, laughs automatically because misha laughs

bad jared joke vs bad misha joke

“i would be a pepe le pew skunk... to prank misha.”

if i kiss jim beaver first, it won’t be suspicious if i kiss misha, right

m i s h | bonus: mishka

making flirty faces counts as pranking, right? | yeah okay | video of the first link | demonstrating again how he “pranks” misha

“i’d rather misha wiggle”

the time misha bent jared over and jensen’s body language went closed off and furious | more

jensen’s ‘misha’ smile

wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward, bud (examples of jensen being awkward around misha)

“he’s misha.”

“you’re a real catch.”

reprimanding jared for giving misha thumbs down

control your face, sir (2012 jibcon)

when he almost said “hail misha” | video

that time nesnej jensen threatened to throw a chair at someone for hugging misha

“misha, i appreciate you screening everyone that came through here today.”

jensen telling the story of when he, danneel, and misha went on a date to a restaurant and spicy peppers happened

“i’m happy to do whatever he wants” & “misha can get jensen to do anything”

jensen maybe performing hanky code

misha telling the story of jensen saying “i wouldn’t mind a big slab of meat in my hand” to make him break on camera

“mish. dee.”

the “i’m the one holding up the rainbow” comment

jensen liked misha’s sensual poetry video (the video)

it sure looks like jensen used misha’s silhouette alongside his own on the cover of his album

telling everyone how he sent a picture of a fried chicken donut sandwich to misha and misha replied “’murica” because that’s soooo funny

old interview featuring jensen gushing about misha’s portrayal of cas

clapping like a fool to get misha to do the empty accent

mimicking fans, “i just love misha”

ducking his head and looking shy after making eye contact with misha

why can’t you take your hand out of your pocket, buddy?

jensen’s comment about starting a book club over misha’s poetry book + jensen liking misha’s posts about his book

how unhappy jensen looks when jared hugged misha at denvercon | photo

jensen’s face journey while listening to misha talk at denvercon

when told to “get in the tub with misha” for the ice bucket challenge (misha posted a video of himself naked in a tub filled with ice water) replied, “that’s a whole different challenge.”  

getting upset just because misha and jared were whispering (sdcc)  

demonstrating how he tries to get misha’s attention by... wiggling his hips at him?  

staring at misha, realizing he’s on camera, and slowly easing out of frame  

two fans recount jensen’s autograph of a destiel fanart book, where he looked at a picture of a dean/cas kiss and called it “the paparazzi shot” and, upon being told where he could buy the book, replied, “why? i live it.” | tweets about it | photo of their signatures in the book  

fan story that when told to look in love with misha for a photo op, jensen smiled and replied, “easy.” 

collection of jensen’s hearteyes 

positioning a fan in order to properly hit on misha for a photo op 

praising misha’s acting in the confession scene 

discussing how he and danneel recorded a spn podcast with misha to commentate on lazarus rising

jensen just thinks misha is amazing

 misha: “i’m a skin model” jensen: *gulps and licks lips* 

misha: *implies he has a big dick* jensen: *facepalms*  

trying to tug misha closer over jake abel’s shoulder

saying “show off” to both danneel and misha

“i mean, he’s no guy fieri, but let’s be honest”

the difference between his answers re: getting jared and misha on the winchesters

childishly knocking over a chair because misha sat next to jared not him 🐚

the difference between "my costar jared padalecki" and "mish. dee."  🐚

“For his 45th birthday, Jensen has chosen Random Acts to be the beneficiary of our latest fundraising endeavor." 🐚

jensen hyping the hallway crowd to chant misha's name 🐚

"hey, mish" 🐚

 new nickname dropped! "mit", short for dmitri 🐚

"big guy" 🐚

getting pissy because jared pushed between him and misha  🐚

gag reel hijinks:

gag reel compilation

“aloha, cowboy”

jensen straddling misha on set

misha breaking while jensen does a blowjob motion

“stop pulling my face towards your crotch!”

“you’re my baby daddy”

foot-five

frolicking in an empty field

“i know it’s hard.”

whipping misha’s ass with a handkerchief

“it doesn’t hurt here.”

the blowjob motion

the already infamous anal sex fart joke

misha breaking, giggling

“you’re poking me”

chinese chair

"just relax"

"you fucker"

wormstache

"who's gonna clean that up?" | video

s15 smiles and giggles

just staring at each other while jared goofs off 

jensen hip thrusting while making eye contact

some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps:

the basic breakdown of what i believe about cockles

another breakdown

the mini masterlist

the guided tour/challenge

why is it okay to ship cockles as real people?

my thoughts on how jensen has behaved re: destiel

thoughts on misha being queer

thoughts on jensen being a chaotic bi

top 3 no hetero explanation moments

top 5 10 favorite little moments

a collection of candid moments

my cockles ask tag  

bonus: jensen is queer tag | misha is queer tag  

my thoughts on misha coming out as bi then saying he’s straight

bonus: do jensen and jared secretly hate each other? 🐚

and lastly... please, nobody tweet this at misha (or any other cast member), but misha, if you do see this... please don’t tweet it either. thank you.

#cockles #cockles masterlist #jensen ackles #misha collins #mine

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Below the cut is my version of "the plane story" . It's from my larger work "The Plot: The End".

Read it if you want ... don't if you don't. Misha's post today though has me feeling all sorts of feelings so I thought I would share this excerpt.

Alex and Rich were already on the plane by the time Misha and Jensen joined them, but Richard was snoring and Alex was reading something on his phone, so neither noticed them when they boarded.

“Hey, kid” Jensen says, clapping a hand onto Alex’s shoulder and making jump so hard, he almost drops his phone.

“Oh, jeez—hey! Hi …” Alex laughs, finally pulling the AirPods out of his ears so he can hear them. “How did that final scene go?”

Misha moves around Jensen to sit in one of the seats across from the other two. Jared’s private plane is small, so the seats face one another; and Jensen normally enjoys the intimacy, but he really just wanted to fall asleep on this trip, and that’s hard to do when it feels like someone is looking right at you … unless you’re Richard anyway. Jensen huffs a laugh as he looks at their unconscious director, finally turning back to Alex to answer his question. “It was … rough, but good. I think it’ll be a really impactful scene.”

“Good. That’s awesome.”

Right then, Richard let’s out a long snore, making the rest of them laugh—and it feels really good to smile after the evening they’ve had.

“Yeah—he took some sort of sleeping pill or Nyquil or something. He was out as soon as he hit the chair” Alex says, shaking his head before looking back at his phone.

Jensen finishes putting his and Misha’s bags in the back compartment before finally taking his seat with the rest of the guys. “Have you been here a long time?” he asks Alex once he buckles his seatbelt and pulls out his own phone to scroll through any messages.

“About an hour. Rich got here maybe twenty minutes ago, so then we were just waiting for you two.”

Jensen bites his lip. “Yeah, sorry about that. We lost track of time.”

Misha laughs. “Plus, we got a really drunk after filming and thought we should try to sober up before flying.”

“Ah, good call” Alex says, but he’s tapping on his phone as he says it—which most likely means, he’s talking to his girlfriend and didn’t hear a word anyone said.

Misha raises a brow before rolling his eyes to Jensen. “Kids.”

Jensen chuckles, but then he starts tapping on his phone too—texting Danneel to let her know they’re about to take off.

“Oh—yeah, I should do that” Misha says, obviously noting what Jensen’s doing; and soon, he’s taking out his phone a moment later and typing a message to Vicki.

“Kids” Alex says mockingly.

Jensen and Misha both laugh as the plane’s engines begin to roar.

They’re in the air after another ten minutes, and they all settle in for the three-hour flight to Vegas. Jensen has pulled his baseball cap over his face and is already dozing off when Misha whispers his name.

“Huh?” Jensen mumbles, slowly crawling back into consciousness with a frown.

“I wanted to know if you could send me that video you took tonight? I want to show it to Vicki.”

He pulls his hat off and rubs his eyes, blinking and squinting into the dim light coating the cabin. “Oh, yeah … sure” Jensen yawns, picking up his phone from where he dropped is beside him in the seat. He opens up his email and attaches the video, knowing it’ll take a while to actually send, but at least he can go back to sleep as it does.

“Thanks, babe” Misha whispers, but Jensen is already slipping into dreams—all too vivid, where Misha is the one getting taken away, disappearing before his eyes, saying goodbye, saying “I love you” … and there’s nothing Jensen can do about it but sit on the ground and watch it all through his tears. There’s nothing he can say, nothing he can do, no way to convince him not to go.

The explosion rips him from his dream like hurricane ripping a house from its studs, and his heart is racing before he’s even fully awake. He opens his eyes to a bright, white flash, then to flames and smoke billowing just outside the window. A screaming-hiss fills his ears and a screaming-dread fills the back of his throat.

Misha is stark white and still beside him, with matching white knuckles and nails—digging into the armrest as the plane begins to shake out of control.

Richard wakes up with a shout and Alex grabs onto him while gasping “What’s happening? What’s happening?” over and over.

The pilot crackles in over the intercom, and it makes the three men panic even more. “We’ve lost an engine. Stay in your seats and buckle your seatbelts! We're turning around for an emergency landing.”

Jensen’s chest begins to heave—he’s not sure if he needs to throw up or pass out, but all he can think about right now are his kids. JJ’s face flashes in front of him, and then Arrow’s and Zepp’s. He can hear their voices calling out “Daddy”. He can feel their little hands in his own, and he’s suddenly wondering if he’ll ever get to see them grow a day older. He chokes on his own strangled air, finally remembering to breathe, and then he clamors for his phone, pulling up the last text he sent to Danneel before hitting the call button next to her name; but his phone doesn’t connect, it just buffers and flashes as the data taps out at zero.

Jensen’s eyes jerk up to the bars at the top of the screen.

No signal.

“Fuck” he whispers.

“What now?” Misha asks, somehow hearing him beyond the constant shriek of air over twisted metal.

“No signal” Jensen croaks aloud, his mouth dry and his tongue thick against his teeth.

The plane shifts sharply to the right and they all lean away from it and into each other, closing their eyes as they mutter silent prayers.

“Jensen” Misha says, voice panicked and shaking.

Jensen looks at him, feeling hot tears stinging his eyes for the countless time today. “Misha” he whispers back softly as he takes Misha’s hand in his own.

Misha squeezes it tight and then leans forward, pressing their foreheads together one last time. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too” Jensen says, hating that even now—even with the world trembling and burning around them, he still hesitates to reach out and pull Misha in for a kiss, because they’re not alone … people can see.

“Guys—guys!” Richard, says, now calling out to them too. “Hold hands. C’mon—hold hands!” He grabs Alex’s hand beside him and then reaches over to take Misha’s.

Jensen nods and drops his phone so he can take Alex’s other hand; and finally, they’re all joined—holding onto one another for hope, or for the last moments they’re alive.

“We’re descending—prepare for more turbulence” the pilot announces, and almost immediately—the entire plane jerks upwards before dropping a few more feet.

“Oh god!” Richard yelps, tilting his head up as if to look to heaven, but his eyes are closed tight.

“It’ll be okay” Jensen says, once again—trying to will his thoughts into existence. “We’ll be okay.”

“Okay—okay, okay, okay” Alex repeats, sounding manic and anything but.

Just then, Jensen’s phone dings with a text message, and he rips his hands free to pick it up and look at it; but he doesn’t even check to see who the text is from because all that matters is—now he has a signal. A weak one, but it should be enough to get a message through. “We got signal, guys!” he yelps, both thrilled and heartbroken, because he would give anything not to say what he knows he has to right now.

He takes a deep breath.

The plane jerks again.

Jensen begins typing.

“Baby, I don’t know what’s going to happen but an engine went out on the plane. We’re trying to make an emergency landing, but just in case things go bad, know that I love you. I love you and the kids with all my heart. I am praying I make it back to you. I love you so much, Danneel.”

His throat aches as he hits “send”, and then he looks to Misha, who’s typing out a text as well—and he’s crying, just like the rest of them are crying, sending their loved ones what could be their final goodbyes. “Mish” he whispers again, pulling that watery blue gaze back to him once the man looks up from his phone; and for a second—Jensen almost tells him that he can’t bear to watch him die. That he’d sooner jump out of this plane than watch Misha disappear into a flash of black and smoke; but saying that out loud feels like he’s welcoming the possibility, so he leaves it hanging in the ether with their fates before leaning forward to kiss him; for once—not caring about who’s watching or what they’ll think, only hoping that this one kiss is enough to get across everything he wishes he had more lifetimes to say.

“Prepare for landing” the pilot cuts in—his voice crackling through the vibrating speaker.

With terrified hope in their eyes, they all hold hands again as Misha whispers “please, please, please” under his breath.

The wheels creak when they deploy, and the wings rattle as the air snags against the gnarled engine that’s weighing them down. The smoke is still thick against the windows, but Jensen can start to see the hazy glow of city lights as the plane gets closer and closer to the earth. Alex squeezes his hand tightly as they all brace for impact— and then the plane thuds onto the runway, bouncing back into the air a moment before thudding again against the tarmac; but everything still feels like it’s moving too fast, even though it’s pretty certain that they’re fully on the ground now.

“Braking—hang on, everyone” the pilot says, and the coolness in his voice is followed by the calming air around the plane as it decreases its speed. The shrieking wind dims into a low whistle, before finally silencing altogether once the plane rolls to a stop.

The smoke clears, revealing the flashing lights of fire engines and ambulances—all ready and waiting to for them, and for whatever state they arrived in. Their collective exhale at the sight leaves them all drained, too weak from the fear to even move; but once the reality sinks in that they’re all really okay, all alive, all safe, they each began clamoring to undo their seatbelts.

“Get me off this fucking thing!” Richard cries, undoing his belt first and immediately shooting up to race for the door.

The pilot meets him there, trying to slow him down and explain that they need to put the stairs down first, but Richard doesn’t wait—and as soon as that door is open, he’s hopping off the plane and onto the tarmac with a thump.

Jensen can hear Richard’s voice mix in with several more—paramedics and firefighters, all asking him if he’s okay and if anyone else on the plane is injured.

“We’re all fine, right?” the pilot asks, looking towards the other three men as he works on the release for the stairs.

“Yeah” Alex breathes, and Misha nods shortly after—but he seems like he’s just barely hanging on.

So, Jensen takes a deep breath and gets up from his seat. “Yeah, we’re all okay.” He walks over to look out the door, locking eyes with one of the paramedics that’s waiting for them on the ground. “No one is hurt, just raddled. We all just want to get off this plane and be back on the solid ground.”

“Yeah, yeah—let’s get you down” the man says, helping the pilot with the stairs and locking them into place.

Jensen turns around and waves the guys towards him, and soon—both Alex and Misha have grabbed everyone’s things and are bustling with Jensen down the stairs to finally be free of that death-trap.

“I’m never fucking flying again” Jensen spits the second his feet touch the earth.

“Same” Alex says, quickly setting down the stuff in his arms so he can call his girlfriend and let her know he’s okay.

That seems to remind the rest of them to do the same, and soon—everyone is on their phones, talking to their wives, their kids, choking back more tears as they each recount the experience.

Once the paramedics clear them, they’re finally allowed to head back into the airport, and the three men clamor inside as quickly as possible, dragging their bags and sanity carelessly behind them.

“Did you step onto the plane with the wrong foot this time, Jensen?” Misha asks as they walk down the main pathway of the airport towards the shops, clearly trying to lighten everyone’s mood now they they’re a hundred percent safe on the ground.

“No—did you not wear orange underwear today?” Jensen replies, but Misha yanks up his shirt in order to pull out a pinch of the orange fabric that’s hiding beneath his jeans. Jensen chuckles. “Well, it wasn’t us. What about you guys? Did either of you jinx the flight?”

But Richard isn’t paying them any mind. He's just blank for a second before he starts talking a mile a minute—spilling out every thought that enters his head as if his audio-button is stuck on double-speed; but Alex stays quiet in contrast—probably still in shock that his short life was nearly punctuated so permanently.

At least, that’s what Jensen is hoping is bothering the kid—because he knows there’s a very good chance that both Alex and Richard saw him and Misha kiss on the plane; but he’s just not sure how either of them will react to it once they calm down. Jensen’s pretty sure Richard won’t care in the least. In fact, he imagines the guy might already know about them and has for a while; but Alex is more of a wildcard. He knows that the kid isn’t homophobic or anything, but all this could make him act different around him and Misha, or act different on set—and Jensen would really hate for that to happen.

“I need a drink” Richard says finally, taking a much-needed breathe as he looks back at the rest of them.

“Me too” Alex mutters, and he’s quickly on the other man’s heels as they head towards the main part of the airport.

Jensen is about to follow when he feels a hand tug him back—and then, he’s being shoved down the short hallway that leads to the bathrooms. It’s three in the morning and no one’s around, and Misha’s passions seems to be fueled by that fact.

He tosses their bags to the side in order to free up his hands for Jensen’s body, and then Misha crowds him into the corner and kisses him hard, knocking off Jensen’s hat so he can run his hand through his hair; but these aren’t the lust-filled kisses they’ve come to know, nor are they romantic ... slow and sweet and soft– they’re manic. They’re desperate, and they’re filled to the brim with all the fear that swamped them while they were on that plane, and Jensen falls head-first into his frenzy, forgetting about absolutely everything else.

“I thought I’d lose you” Misha gasps, pressing himself hard into Jensen’s chest—as if he’s trying to climb inside it.

“Me too” Jensen says, eyes closed as he opens himself up to be taken.

Misha breathes him in before scooping him into his arms, lifting Jensen by the back of the legs to press him against the wall; and Jensen wraps himself around the man like a sweater, clinging to every muscle, every inch of skin that he’s kissed and cherished at some point over the last five years. Every cell in their bodies holds a memory of one another, and those cells are fusing into one as they live in the entirety of this moment, only breathing for each other and the lives they get to continue living.

Jensen pulls at Misha’s shirt as the man hoists him higher, cupping his face with his other hand and taking a brief moment to look into those blue eyes before kissing him again.

Those blue, blue eyes.

Those lips.

That hair and skin.

This is the man that he’ll love until the day he dies, and as his heart melts for him all over again, Jensen thanks God that he didn’t die today. He gets to hold Misha one more time—he gets to love him longer. Jensen gets to give himself over to him over and over again, and he needs Misha to own him completely. This man unlocks something in him every time they’re together. Jensen never saw himself as closed off, or secretive, or hard to know—not until Misha walked into his life and cracked him open like some precious ore. He made Jensen reveal sides of himself that no one had ever seen before—he caused Jensen to laugh in ways he had never laughed, love in ways he had never loved. Because of Misha, Jensen can march into life head-first instead of hanging back to see how things unfold. Misha has made him unafraid. Misha has made him who he truly wants to be; and as this man literally holds him safely above the earth, Jensen realizes how close they came to crashing into it—to losing this.

He kisses him harder; he loves him more. He holds this man with all of himself, and he swears with teeth and tongue, and with river-tears on his cheeks, to never let him go.

No matter who’s watching, no matter how hot the world burns, Misha can find his place in Jensen’s arms whenever he needs it.

[art by @liart-ez]

#Cockles #long post #Ary writes #The Plot: The End #excerpt #the plane story #I am emotional #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #fan art

[luxshine]

Y yo a ti, Cas -segunda parte. Because of course Mexican Cas pulled us out of despair and can throw us back in.

Ok, so the last 24 hours have been a bit of a rollercoaster and now I have another post to write about how dubbing is made. Because I love Misha a lot, and I respect him but… the whole rouge translator thing just doesn’t jive with reality.

Now, first of all I want to make a disclaimer: I do not believe that there’s a conspiracy to keep Dean closeted and away from Castiel. That makes absolutely no sense, no matter how you slice it. Among other things, conspiracy implies intent, and I really doubt the CW, Warner Bros and everyone involved in the marketing choices cares that much. At most, I think that there was a misunderstanding of marketing/PR and now people are doubling down on trying to pretend it didn’t happen. But a conspiracy? Nope. This isn’t THAT important, and it would require a LOT of people involved to make things work.

Which is precisely why the rouge translator thing doesn’t work. Because you would need a conspiracy to MAKE Destiel canon in order for it to be real.

Second: As I write this, I still don’t have an answer from the voice actors. But rest assured, WHEN they reply (or we can organize a panel so YOU guys can ask directly), I will tell you the absolute truth. If I am wrong with my assumptions, and it WAS a rouge translator, I will let you know, and I will admit I was wrong. And if it was from the audio (say, a Jensen adlib) or the actual script? I will also let you know.

Third: I don’t doubt that Misha REALLY believes the rogue translator thing, if it was told to him by TPTB. There’s no reason to believe he knows how dubbing works in Mexico, nor how many people check the final product. Or that he even watched the episode, instead of believing it was a fan clip. Also, I respect him immensely and I don’t want any hate send his way.

That said, let’s go into how dubbing works, again.

For the sake of argument, I will start with the idea that yes, there was a “Rogue translator” who decided that THIS was the perfect moment to make Destiel canon. Not, say, Season 8 when he could have translated an “I need you” from Dean into an “I love you” when the god tablet thing happened, not in season 12, or during the purgatory prayers. No, the best moment was two episodes before the finale, when he had to know that Cas was not coming back. 

And yes, the translator knew Cas was not coming back because when we translate series, we get them in packages of 5 episodes or more at the time. So they must have had 15x16 to 15x21 (The interview special) all together. So they knew that this was Cas’s exit from the series.

Now, in my previous post I said how in the old times, we used vhs tapes and paper copies of the shooting scripts (when they were available that was not always). Now a days, we get the video file and a word document (if we’re lucky. If not, we make the word file). Translate everything. Go through it AGAIN to make sure the lip sync matches and that we don’t have huge speeches when there’s a small window of time to say the speech because of the language differences. Check that we didn’t accidentally used a slang word that only Mexico would understand. If the show is not PG-13, make sure our swearwords are not too bad or too localized. THEN we send it to the studio, which prints about four copies of the script and hands it,and the video, to the Dub director.

The dub director then goes and re-watches every episode, while checking the script. Some directors don’t speak the language, so they’re just checking cadence, time, and the damned lip sync. (And if you, as a translator, don’t match the lip sync? You are either back to training or out of a word if you get too many strikes). So sure, you could slip a change of line there, IF the director doesn’t speak German, or Japanese, or Hindi.

But almost every single dub director speaks English. So a change from “Don’t do this, Cas” to “And I, you, Cas” would be noticed then and there, and changed to the right line. Which means that, for the rogue translator thing to work, we’d have to add also a rogue dub director.

And honestly, do you see a professional dub director with more than 15 years of experience (because you don’t give a series to a newbie, and Supernatural had the same dub director for all it’s run) risking his job for ONE line?

Anyway, in the times before the plague dub actors were called in groups to the study to record, in order to save audio tracks. So, for example, all the Inner Senshi would record together when doing Sailor Moon, and I assume in Supernatural, Sam and Dean’s lines would also be recorded together, while Dean and Cas might have been or not. Depending on times and so on. So you’d had at least 3 people in the studio: Dean’s VA, the dub director and the sound technician. ALL of them checking what was being said, what was in the script, and listening to the original audio.

Some actors would also make corrections to the script there, making some lines easier to read, and, again, checking those damn lip letters (Can you tell I HATE the lip letter thing?) . I remember fondly the VA for Sailor Jupiter, Araceli de Leon (RIP), who was known as “The Corrector”, since she would go through ALL the scripts for everyone with a red pen. The day I handed a script she didn’t find any corrections, I was jumping out of joy. So if 15x18 was recorded AT the dubbing studio? Someone who knew English could’ve caught the difference between the “Don’t do this” and the “And I you”, making it harder for our rogue translator to go unnoticed.

But let’s say it was recorded post-quarantine, when voice actors work alone at home, in their own private sound studios. I have no idea if they would have the director at hand through zoom, but I assume so. In any case, the VA would STILL have the original audio to know how the lines were said, and after 4 years of dubbing Dean Winchester, I will assume that the VA knows at the very least a little bit of English so if his script said “And I, you Cas” but he heard Jensen say “Don’t do it, Cas”, he would’ve made a correction there.

That’s now two people who would have to ignore the rouge translator’s actions, and even help them, in order for this theory to work.

And then the audio goes back to the director, who checks it again, makes sure it is lip synced and well acted, and sent to the audio technician who mixes it all, and now we have a THIRD person who could’ve said “Hey… uhm… this line? Is not what it says in the original” and by this time, we’d have to have a conspiracy to keep that “And I, you, Cas” in the final product.

Which brings me to person number four: Once the dubbing is done? It’s reviewed by the client (In this case, WB Latam), who gives the final say and CAN ask for redubs if necessary.

Story time. When I was doing this for a living, I got a series that had the WEIRDEST line ever. A line that made me triple check I was hearing things right (because it was a damn adlib that I couldn’t check with the script)

It was: “I’ve been listening to jazz even since I was a sperm swimming in my father’s testicles”.

So yeah.

I was a pro, so I didn’t censor it or change it and send it as it was to the director. Who OF COURSE called me and asked “Are you 100% sure that’s the line?” (This was in Japanese, and he didn’t speak Japanese. He trusted me). And I said “yeah, but if you need to change it, we can find another way to say “I’ve been a Jazz fan since before I was born”. “ He, Jack bless him, said “Nah. If that’s the original, let’s keep the original”.

The client was NOT amused and we had to change it in the final product.

Now, this was a throw away line by a secondary character that never appeared again in the series, in a small scene that probably only I remember. And the client still said “Nope, change that”. I’d like to believe that a line that changes the relationship between two main characters would have the same, if not more, scrutiny from TPTB.

Which makes now four people who would have had to either ignore the actions of the rogue translator, or actively participate in a conspiracy to make Destiel Latam canon.

Which, I dunno about you, sounds like way too much effort for something that was going to last for exactly one second before Cas got sucked into the Empty.

Someone made a mistake? Probably. But I am more willing to bet it was whoever sent the master video file to the studio than the dub studio, if that line wasn’t supposed to be there.

#Supernatural mexican dubbing #dean winchester is bilingual #dean winchester loves cas #they silenced you #mexican cas is a rogue translator #the character not the va #dubbing #the Winchester hermanos

[theyarebothgunshot]

[part 1/2]

Hi, I’ve fallen in the cockles dumpster years ago and I don’t know how to reach the surface anymore.

we can say I’m a newbie on your inbox and I just thought we could all tinhat a little bit about one of the things that sold me on cockles to be a real thing: honcon 2017.

Here’s the list of things I can’t find a platonic heterosexual explanation for:

(Funny but useless foreword, a few days before the con a fan tweeted a photo of a rainbow she saw when her flight land in honolulu and said she took it as a sign that was gonna be a gay weekend, and man she was right lol)

1- Misha flew to a hawaii on thursday just like all the other guests who were supposed to be at the con way before J2 did.

We know j2 stopped shooting the same day/the day after because on friday Jensen was spotted by a fan on a plane to honolulu even tho he was expected to be there on sunday.

while Jared preferred spending that bit of free time at home. (Gen posted a few instagram stories of jared and the kids in Texas.) Jensen went straight to misha instead.

Even tho at the previous con j2 talked about how the following weeks were going to be full of work commitments and between work and cons so close to one another they couldn’t see the families as much.

I’m not saying Jensen didn’t miss his wife and kid. He loves them and clearly meant it when he said he missed them so much. That’s why it was surprising seeing him join misha so early. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it was a planned trip to spend time together.

2- I think it’s positive to say he was there early for Misha and only misha since that night a fan took a picture with them at an hotel bar. She posted it on instagram and said it was just the two of them, then she had to put the account on private since too many people were asking questions.

It’s strange how we only got one photo of that night tho, they’re always super nice with fans when being approached and usually after the first brave soul finds the courage to ask everyone else follow through.

Again I think they clearly wanted to be alone that night. No fans no castmates.

Maybe they were celebrating something?

3- Then the panel happened.

We all remember Jensen showing us how bad his kink for misha’s weird accents have gotten, how cheerful and at ease they were on stage.

Even I could feel the love was in the air and I live on the other side of the ocean!

welcome to the dumpster, nonnie! i love all of this a lot. i *just* got your part two and i am putting it and my reaction under the cut!! 

[part 2/2]

4 - Jensen also bought matching shirts for his friends. One black shirt for him and an identical one for his bro. But misha’s was red cause he knows him well enough to notice he never wears black shirts.

I mean Jensen has a history of showing affection through gifts, (I have a few examples on my mind but no time to write it all down now)

That was a nice thing to do.

5- Least but not last

THE DINNER STORY.

I don’t care if it’s been years I’m still not over how sweet that moment was.

The question was an easy generic one, It took misha less than two minutes to answer.

But then mr. 10 years. same bar, same table. same company. grabs the microphone and procede to share with us one the sweetest memory of Misha he got.

I mean it was so unexpected. Unlike Jared and Misha he’s careful about what he think is appropriate and what’s not.

In my mind it sounded like: “Listen I know it doesn’t answer your question but I’ve just spent a good weekend with this person right here, that I clearly love and care for, and I’m feeling soft, so let me tell you about how I realized I was whipped on him since our very first date”

Again I find it curious Jensen was reminiscing about how they first got together on that particular weekend.

The same one he decided to join misha early just to be with him.

That was one of the moments I realized there’s no way this is a platonic relationship.

Ok this turned out way longer than I expected.

I clearly miss jenmish so much I can’t stop blabber about them.

I’m sorry

Polaroid anon

first of all: don’t be sorry, i truly loved this because i felt like i was seeing the panel again in my minds eye while i was reading your message. 

second of all: you are absolutely right about everything except for calling misha’s shirt red. it was orange, which is misha’s favorite color, which makes it even more special that jensen got that one for him. 

i also think that jensen went there early just for mish, which is just. a lot. it reminds me of another con, where jensen could have gone home already but he waited for misha who had to do something else there the next day, and then two days later they were spotted together i think at the airport. 

i 100% agree that the fact that jensen shared that story about one of their first dinners is very special and rare. especially because in the past, whenever somebody wanted to hear a story from them, they both never knew what to share (probably because of lot of their stories are not suitable to share tbh) and to me it almost felt like he really thought about what he could share and what he would feel comfortable with, after all those times where he just went ‘shit idk what to say’. 

and what he shared just felt so romantic? like. the look on misha’s face when jensen was talking was also so soft, he was clearly thinking back on that moment. a moment they both remembered all those years later. i mean at that point they had known each other for nearly 10 years and they still remembered that one particular night. it made an impression on both of them. it was a date. and then to top it off jensen added that he thought to himself ‘but i think i love him a little bit more too’. wow. 

see, no need to apologize for talking a lot, as i clearly do the same sjfhshf.

#anonymous #honcon was absolutely insane and we do not talk about it enough #polaroid anon

[fangirlingtodeath513]

The Cockles Breakup Theory - Jensen

So I’ve previously posted here about the Cockles Breakup Theory, but that focused more on Misha’s side of it since Misha’s side was a bit more obvious. I’ve gotten a few requests to do one specifically focusing on Jensen, so here we are. 

First of all, under no circumstances is this to be brought up with any of the cast or crew. Discussions like this are born in the fandom space and they’re meant to stay there. Please do not use these posts, or posts similar to this, to push an agenda with the actors, their families, or anyone else. This is purely speculative and purely for fun.

Throwing this under a cut because it’s gonna get long.

I’m gonna start out by giving a rough overview for those of you that don’t remember. We’re hovering between October of 2011 and somewhere around August of 2012. So we’re in season 7, where it looks like Cas has been removed from the show permanently. 

Misha shows up drunk and ornery all through Asylum 7, which was the following weekend. Jensen looks relatively unfazed. We don’t see much from him until well after fans were made aware of Misha’s return around December of 2011. 

The whole thing starts with this tweet from Misha:

[A screenshot of a tweet from Misha Collins on October 21, 2011. It reads: “I’m not normally one to talk coworkers, but Jensen jus let me take this picture of him shirtless.” This is followed by a link that leads to a very close-up picture of the left side of Jensen Ackles’ face, from his forehead to the bottom of his nose.]

This is pretty on-the-nose (pardon the pun) even for Misha, who’s typically very flirty and jokey with his friends. I’ve seen people theorize that this particular post is what spurred their breakup, in addition to the other factors of Misha being let go from the show and not being on set in Vancouver with Jensen anymore. My personal theory is that their relationship, whatever it was at the beginning, was as much of a comfort thing as it was a relationship. They were there for weeks at a time, away from their families, and I don’t doubt that they took comfort in each other. When that factor was removed, that relationship basically fell apart. I’m sure Misha being so jokingly open about their relationship didn’t strike Jensen in the best way either. He’s always been an intensely private person, though he has opened up to fans more recently, and I’m sure any insinuation that he’s living anything other than the life of the normal American male makes him nervous.

The Jensen side of this is generally thought of like this: from mid-October 2011 (the time of Misha’s tweet, which is thought to have started the breakup) to roughly February 2012, Jensen was super tight-lipped about Misha and Cas. He hardly says anything, which some people write off because Misha and Cas weren’t on the show. However, the fans knew Misha would be back in December of 2011, so J2M probably knew before that and Jensen was still tight-lipped about Misha and Cas. 

Somewhere around February, though, something happened. Jensen’s a lot more open with talking about Cas and whenever he brings up Misha, he always mentions how much he helps to carry the show and how great he is, almost like he’s trying to praise him at every opportunity. Throughout panels between February and August 2012, he does just about everything he can to get Misha’s attention. He flirts with him, pulls him into the conversation as often as he can, and brings up Misha/Cas even when he’s not around.

There’s this set of gifs regarding Jensen speaking about Cas and the loss of Cas during season 7. He’s overly nice in them and gushes about Cas, leading some people to believe he was trying to get Misha’s attention and show him that he really did care. 

In this set of gifs from February-ish 2012, you’ve got him saying he’ll take Misha back on the show with a pleased smile.

At Nashcon in February, Jensen is asked what it’s like to have Misha back on set and he says “It’s very refreshing, you know, he’s one of the family.”

And of course, there are the various statements about Dean taking Cas’s trenchcoat from the water, which wasn’t scripted. Misha said at an earlier con that he thought Dean was overly obsessed with Cas and that it was super creepy which, if you pay any attention to Misha at all, is super out of character for him. As far as I’m aware, he’s always been super supportive of Deana and Cas’s relationship (romantic or not). Also at Nashcon, Jensen says he discussed the move with the director, Guy Bee, and “if [Cas] ever comes back, he’s gonna need the trenchcoat.”

And then we’re onto JIB3 in April 2012. This one’s… rough, to say the least. For anyone who watches the Cockles panels at JIB, you know what they’re usually like: fun, flirty, usually with drunk Jensen and Misha. Misha almost always takes the lead in their panels because he’s always been the one more comfortable in front of fans, but this time he just sits back and watches. It’s the panel Cockles fans look forward to all year, but this one was… well, see for yourself.

Jensen kinda carries the whole thing. It’s pretty clear Misha’s not at all into being there.

And then there’s this exchange, which just speaks for itself:

[A set of gifs from Jus In Bello Convention in Rome. The exchange is as follows: Jensen: I-I had a great time. I really did. It wasn’t you, it was me. Misha: It’s funny, I just thought that, for me it was really special, so. Jensen: That’s, um… that’s too bad. That’s too bad. But maybe we can give it another shot! See if the creative juices get flowing. No? Okay. During this exchange, Jensen is very animated, moving his hands to punctuate his points and tilting his body toward Misha at times. At the end of that exchange, Jensen turns in his seat so Misha is slightly behind him. Misha, throughout this exchange, is incredibly reserved. He only moves to bring his microphone to his mouth and he turns his head to look at Jensen, but his body stays facing the crowd.]

I mean like what... how are you even supposed to interpret that any other way than a breakup? Look at Misha’s face, he looks devastated. His head is down, he doesn’t move at all while they’re talking, and he’s facing the crowd the entire time. His legs are straight out in front of him, unlike Jensen’s relaxed sitting posture.

Then there’s this whole thing, where Misha is so obviously trying to make Jensen jealous. It’s not until Misha sees Jensen looking over that he really goes for it, groping Sebastian and pretty much dry humping him on stage. Jensen just looks around awkwardly during this encounter, like he’s not really sure what to do with himself.

There’s also this debacle, which was also at JIB3. I’m not sure whose duck it was (I think Cliff’s, J2’s bodyguard) but Misha had autographed it with “Cliff, I want to give you my big d*ck”. The entire cast had been messing around with it all day, then Jensen walks on stage, sees Misha’s autograph, and almost immediately takes a sharp object to the duck to ruin it. I don’t want to assume this is because of Misha but like…………… I have eyes and a brain. 

As far as how it was resolved? We don’t really know. I doubt we’ll ever really know, to be honest with you. Around the time of filming 8x05, they had VanCon, where they were both visibly in much, much better spirits. Misha kissed a poster of Jensen, Jensen was so much more open that even at the time, some fans who attended the con remarked on it. This brings us to August of 2012, where it appears they mended whatever went wrong. Was it that Misha wasn’t on the show? Was it something more, like Jensen thinking they were becoming a little bit too public? We’ll probably never know.

I’m not going to tack my thoughts on the end here since I want this to primarily be an informational post, so if you’d like me to go in-depth with my own theory of what happened and what went down, I’ll certainly do that in a different post :) These are some other really great resources for the breakup theory that cover things way more in-depth than I have, especially with the conventions. There’s this one, which is basically the Cockles bible, most (if not all) of the pertinent info about the breakup is listed there. Here’s a youtube playlist of all the key moments we’ve discussed here as well as some others. You can also check out my cockles tag or my cockles breakup theory tag for more delightful cockles info.

#cockles #rps for ts #cockles breakup theory

[thefirstcourtesan]

A Girl Just Wants to Have Fun (MC/Various Characters) [NSFW]

A Girl Just Wants to Have Fun

By Misha

Disclaimer- Not mine.

Author’s Notes- So I got inspired by Queen B 2 and Poppy’s line about MC sleeping her way through Belvoire. If only PB actually let her do that. So this is a smutty and fun series about my MC’s adventures at Belvoire. This is definitely not the first smut I have written, but I don’t normally write this type of casual hook-up between near strangers, so there was a bit of a learning curve. 

Rating- NSFW

Pairing- basically everyone. But for this part MC/Luis and referenced MC/Ian.

Summary- A remark from Poppy leads to Blair privately reminiscing about her first year at Belvoire…

“Tell me how many of my friends did you sleep with to get them to join your little crusade?” Poppy asked pointedly.

Blair smirked, letting her eyes wander amongst the crowd. It was an interesting question. The answer was most of them. All of the guys except Michael (because eww) plus Veronica. Oh and Trixie, but Ford had been there for that. She was actually surprised she had managed to keep her antics from the T (mostly) since it had been quite the year…

~*~

Luis had been the first and way earlier than anyone probably would have guessed since their first hookup was the night of the frat party.

“Another drink?” Luis asked, appearing at Blair’s side, two beers in hand.

Blair had considered fleeing after the message from the dean, but it wasn’t like she could do anything that night and staying at the party and enjoying herself seemed like the better option than moping in her room.

“Trying to get me drunk?” She teased, even as she accepted one of the beers. Still sealed, she noted, which raised her impression of Luis. He even provided an opener.

“Nah, I just thought you could use one after that scene with Poppy,” he told her, “you definitely have guts.”

“It’s my inner farm girl,” Blair told him as she took a swig of her beer and then grinned, “which is also why I am probably the only girl here you will drink this. Even if it is craft.” She was sure all the other girls at the party were swigging champagne and she loved a nice vintage herself, but she also like a cold beer.

Luis laughed. “You’re not wrong. I thought I’d risk it.” His eyes ran up and down her body, lingering on her long legs which were in full display in her little booty shorts. She had (thankfully) wiped off all the jello, but her close were still a little damp and she probably still smelled like lime. However, Luis didn’t seem to mind, given how close he was standing.

“Are you willing to risk anything else?” Blair asked coyly, resting her free hand on his bare chest. She felt his deep intake of breath. Her social status was still abysmal and she was public enemy number one as far as Poppy was concerned, so a hook-up with her was probably risky, but a risk that Luis seemed willing to take since his arm slid around her waist.

Their kiss earlier had been good. Not earth-shattering, but good enough that she was sure she could get a few orgasms out of the situation. And sometimes, that was really all a girl needed.

It was that thought that had her lifting her face to his, accepting the kiss he eagerly offered. The beer in her hand got hastily discarded on a nearby table (hey at least she hadn’t dropped it) along with his as the kiss grew more heated.

“Let’s take this inside,” Luis invited, his hands gripping her ass and holding her against him, leaving her with no doubt about how much he wanted her.

“Sounds good,” Blair agreed, having the thought to quickly grab her purse before letting Luis lead her away from the noisy party and up the stairs of the frat house to his room. As soon as they were inside, he was pushing her into the wall, his mouth on hers.

She returned the kiss, her hands trailing over his back and then wandering down to the waistband of his jeans. He moaned into her mouth as her hands dipped lower, the moan turned into a groan when Blair removed her hand and pulled away.

“I just need one sec,” she told him, sliding out of his embrace. She grabbed her phone from her purse and sent Zoey a quick “go home without me” text and then dropped her purse on the nearest surface.

As soon as it was out of her hands, Luis grabbed her again, pulling her to him for another deep kiss, which Blair returned eagerly. They hastily started discarding clothing and somehow managed to make it across the room towards the bed.

“You are so damn hot,” Luis told her appreciatively as he took in her naked party.

“Even if I am from Cold Rock?” Blair teased, pulling him towards her.

“Babe, I don’t care where you are from,” Luis assured her, they both knew that wasn’t entirely true but she appreciated the sentiment. She also appreciated the hand he was sliding between her thighs.

He teased her with sure fingers, his lips trailing over her breasts. Oh, yeah, she was definitely feeling… appreciative. And she showed that appreciation by moaning his name over and over and then, once she had experienced a very nice orgasm, she decided to return the favor. She pushed at his chest, rolling them over so he was on his back and she was on top.

“I could get used to this view,” Luis said appreciatively, as she kissed her way down his chest. Blair ignored that, because a truthful response (don’t) would ruin the moment. So she chose not to respond in words, but instead she put her mouth to other uses. Luis groaned as she bobbed up and down, his hands buried in her blonde curls.

She swirls her tongue in a particular way and now he is the one moaning her name, then a minute later, he is yanking on her hair and signalling for her to stop. Apparently he is close and since she would rather not have this finish so quickly, she complies and lets go of his dick with a pop.

“Condom,” she says, because she is pretty sure that Belvoire students have very active sex lives and while she is happy to be part of that, she really doesn’t want to catch anything.

Luis complies, fumbling for his bedside drawer. He tosses her the wrapper and she quickly slides it down his hard length and then she gets on her knees, positioning herself on top and eases her way down onto him before beginning to move. Luis grips her hips with one hand to get better leverage and uses the other to rub her clit. He is pretty good  at this and she can’t help but think she made a good choice for her first Belvoire fling (Ian doesn’t count, that’s complicated).

Blair manages another orgasm before Luis shouts her name in his own release.

“That was…” he pants, laying flat on his back.

Blair just smirks as she gets off of him. After a minute he gets up to dispose of the condom and by the time he returns, she is pulling on her clothes. She can tell he is relieved that she isn’t going to make things weird (why would she, she got exactly what she wanted) and to make it clear that they are on the same page, she grins at him. “How about you get me another beer, since I never got to finish the first one.”

~*~

That had been the first time she and Luis had hooked up, but not the last. He had been one of the first to truly warm up to her (maybe because he saw the opportunity to get laid) and he had become a good way to scratch an itch. But while Luis had been her first Belvoire boy he certainly hadn’t been her last…

**

#playchoices #queen b #n*fw #misha writes

[wayward-mikaelson]

The Run In

Word Count: 4692

Pairing: Misha x Reader 

Characters: Reader, Misha, Diego (OG Character), Xander (OG Character), Divorce Lawyer, Police Receptionist, George (OG Character), Female Officer, and Male Officer

Summary: The Reader gets away from her abusive husband. After bumping into a stranger, the Reader forms a friendship with him which the Readers soon-to-be ex-Husband finds out about. 

Disclaimer: Language, Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Domestic Violence, Mentions of degradation, Blood, Implied Smut

Disclaimer 2: This work of fiction contains Domestic Violence. If you have been a victim of DV please read at your own discretion. If you are in a DV situation please call 1-800-799-7233, of you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you are in an emergency, call 911. There are also DV/IPV programs and shelters in your area who can help you. 

Disclaimer 3: Any of the shorts that are hot and steamy, I want to put out there that it's in no way disrespectful towards Vicki at all. I love her to death and respect that marriage between her and Misha. So when reading those shorts, know that it all takes place in an alternate world where they aren't married at all.

A/N: Sorry this is late. I have been hitting some sort of writing block. I have the words in my head but for some reason I can’t get them out. 

A/N 2: Tag your anyone who loves Misha! 

*18+ Content. Anyone younger than 18 will need to move along. I do not want to risk my account being deleted. 

**Please DO NOT copy and paste my work anywhere WITHOUT my permission and WITHOUT giving me the proper credit. I work way too hard on my work and don’t want it to get stolen.

***This work is also posted on Instagram, Wattpad, and AO3. Go show it some love over there.

****Please follow me on my other accounts Instagram, Wattpad, Twitter, and AO3

*****DMs are CLOSED for REQUESTS. I gotta finish up my other two projects. 

Forever Tags: @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @elansaidaris​ @hobby27​ @440mxs-wife​ 

I sit alone in the apartment, huddled on the couch. The fight had been bad this time. I mean, all fights with Diego were bad but, this one in particular had been pretty bad. I look around the trashed apartment and try not to replay the events that took place almost an hour before. The television was busted, a couple chairs had been thrown over, the mirror my mother had salvaged and repurposed for me was destroyed, glass was everywhere, and my grandmothers clock she passed down to me was busted up.

I don't know how I got here.

I don't know how I let it get so bad.

I slowly get up off the couch and watch my step all the way to the bathroom. I flip the light on and there, glowing bright red, on my face is the handprint of my husband. The throwing of things has been going on for a couple years. Hitting is new and Diego never hit me until recently. I should have left him months ago. Maybe even years ago.

After that first hit.

It was after a Christmas party at his office. We got into a fight about me talking to his co workers and about the dress I wore. He said he had been embarrassed by it all. I'm the stand you ground type of woman who snaps back. The moment I had snapped back, was the moment Diego hit me. Diego has been surprised so he left for the evening. I should have just packed and left. I didn't, I waited an apology that never really came and when it did, I knew he didn't mean it.

Tonight, it was about the fact I went out with a few friends and forgot about dinner for Diego. When I came home with take out, he lost it. Called me every name in the book. Threw things and hit me and left.

I slowly touch the already welting mark. I suck in a sharp breath when my cool hand touches the raw skin. It stings so bad that even my tears make it sting. I look at myself again in the mirror. "How pathetic," I whisper to myself. "How pathetic of you to have stayed this long over a boy that can't handle his anger. That's going to change."

I walk out of the bathroom to the room Diego and I share together. I head straight towards the closet and pull out a duffle back and begin to fill with the important things. Clothes. Some shoes. Bathroom and shower necessities. I swap out purses, leaving both my car keys and phone in my old one. I can't risk having Diego try looking for me. I log into my bank account and change every security question and answer. I close my eyes. I never thought I would need to do this yet here I am.

I look around the apartment one last time. My eyes land on the photo from our wedding day. I grab it and rip the picture from the frame. I take a lighter and set it ablaze in the kitchen sink with a few other photos. Taking a deep breath, I finally make my exist from the apartment.

I walk to the nearest bus stop and wait for the bus to show up. Even in the dark it's difficult to hide my swollen face from the world. So I keep it down and tucked behind the collar of my coat. When the bus finally shows up, I get on it and pay my fair. I go sit in the back and ride it all the way to where I need to get off. The ride is quiet. A few people stare at me when they catch sight of my face. I turn away from them and keep my face hidden away. I stare at my bags and think, this is all I have now. A few clothes, money, these bags, a few personal items, etc.

The bus stops and I quickly grab my bags and get off. I turn this way and that looking for the building I need to go into. I spot it, It's hidden behind some trees and another bus stop across the street. I make my way across the street and into the police station.

There is a lady sitting at the front desk. It looks like she's packing up to go home. She gives me a friendly smile and sets her bag aside.

"What can I do for you?" She asks. I see her zero in on the mark on my face and the look in her eyes looks like she's about to cry. "I think I know what papers you need." She turns and leaves the area and returns with a few papers in her hands. She slowly hands me the papers and a pen. "Do you need a safe place to fill these out? Theres a room I can take you to."

I nod, I want to cover as much of my trail and steps as I can. Diego is a smart man. He will soon learn I left him and will soon come looking for me. The lady walks me to a room with a table. She tells me that she won't close the door because some people in my situation get triggered. She walks to the officer that is sitting at a desk across the way and tells him something while pointing to me. The officer looks at me and then nods to the woman.

I look down at the Order of Protection and Restraining Order papers and take a deep breath. When I start to fill the paper out, I notice that I am still wearing my wedding ring and band. I take them off and set them in my bag. As I finish my paper work, I slowly get up and walk out of the room. The officer sees me and slowly approaches me.

"I can take care of this for you," He says reaching for the paper. "Now how about we get some ice for that mark and have a look to make sure it isn't more than raw skin." The officer sits me down and leaves. When he comes back he has a small ice pack and places it on my face. The cool pack feels so nice.

"I have a question," I say as the officer pulls out a first aid box and starts to look at my face.

"Yeah?" he responds.

"Is there a way to put in your system that I am not a missing person but on the run from my husband?" I flinch when the officer wipes my face with the alcohol wipe.

"Sorry," He starts to apply an antibiotic to my face. "If or when your husband comes to us looking for you, our system will actually show that these orders are on him. What will happen is that they will take your information and tell him he has two days until you are declared missing. In that time frame he would have been served with the restraining order." The officer puts a large band aid over my face.

"Good," I say.

"How long?" the officer asks.

"Long enough to finally say fuck it and leave his ass."

***

A few days pass. I'm staying at a hotel and paying by the day. I purchased a brand new phone and got a new number. I called my parents and told them what was going on. They were mad and sadden by the situation but are happy that I got out when could. I got word from my officer friend that the restraining order was delivered but he said that Diego didn't look happy.

A week passes and I am still staying at the hotel. Not many apartments won't rent to me until I'm legally separated from Diego. I meet with a lawyer to have divorce papers drawn up and served to him but according to her, once the papers were signed, it would take a few months for them to be filed.

"Now all we need to do is get you two in here to sing these?" the lady says.

"About that," I fold my hands. "I have a protection order and restraining order on him."

The lawyer nodded her head. "I see. Well, I will have someone deliver to him and see if he will sign them. Just be prepared," She reaches for my hand and takes it in hers. "Some men like him, they will stall this as much as they can to get you to meet in person."

I nod. "I understand, in that case, if I have to meet him, I will have someone I trust with me."

As predicted, a week later, the lawyer calls me ups and tells me that Diego refuses to sign. Says I'm having a mental breakdown and needs to just come home so we can work it out. The lawyer also mentions that Diego had said that I'm lying about him throwing things that it's all me and that he only hit me in self defense because according to him, I slapped him before he slapped me.

I sit back in my hotel room in hot anger. I can feel the steam of my anger coming off my skin. I'm angry he won't sign the papers. I'm angry he started to make up shit about me. But jokes on him, I kept a private album on my iCloud of all the times he hit me. It my friends idea, she encouraged me to document it all somewhere where he doesn't know the password to. She passed away about a year ago from getting hit by a drunk driver.

"I'm going to need a printer," I say looking at the countless pictures of abuse.

***

The next day I go out and purchase a decently priced printer. And a decent laptop since everything was on my phone. As i'm walking down the street back to my hotel, with my things, I find myself falling onto hands and knees. The printer box rolled a few feet from me. I hope it isn't damaged, I think slowly sitting back on my knees and just staring at it.

"Oh my goodness," a voice says. "I am so sorry."

I look up to see a man with a ragged hair, black sunglasses, a black t-shirt with a jean jacket over it, and dark skinny jeans reaching down to help me up to my feet. I take his hand and slowly get to my feet. I notice the scruff framing the rest of his face. The sun shines perfectly behind him and I can't help but feel drawn to him.

"I should have watched where I was going and make sure there wasn't a beautiful woman carrying a large object," the man says turning to pick up my printer. "Doesn't look damaged from the outside."

I smile and feel my face burning. I'm sure it's bright red. "It's okay, I should have called an Uber instead of walking three blocks. I'm sorry about your coffee." I gesture to the fallen cup and spilled contents on the sidewalk. "Let me buy a new one."

The man laughs and waves a free hand. "No need to waste your money on my accident."

"What can I do?" I ask after I made sure my laptop box was fine.

"How about you let me help you with this so another person doesn't run into you?"

Taking a deep breath, I accept the strangers offer.  We walk the last block talking about the city. When we get to the hotel, this man offers to carry the printer all the way up to the room. Didn't even question if I was living there.

"Thank you for doing this," I tell him as he sets the box on the small table.

"Anything," he smiles. "And when you are ready to search for apartments I know of a few good ones."

I give a small smile. I guess it's obvious that I was living in the hotel. "Thanks," I watch as he walks himself to the door. "I did never get your name." I call after him.

"Misha," he smiles. "Collins."

***

A month goes by and I am no longer looking like a crazy person after submitting all my pictures to my lawyer. Still Diego refuses to sign the papers unless he can meet with me alone. Of course I say "fuck no."

"If you want to be rid of him forever, then you have to compromise," my lawyer tells me.So I makes plans for the inevitable. But I have my officer buddy tagging along with me to the meeting.

I stare at the divorce papers and I am praying Diego will sign them at our meeting. But I doubt it. Ever since I left him, I started to see the red flags. Even friends that I still have and that haven't been manipulated by Diego, have told me they saw the way he treated me and spoke to me.

I need fresh air.

I get out of the hotel and walk to the the nearest park. It has a lake right in the middle of it. I rest my arms on the railing and then drop my head on my arms. This is more stressful than when I planned a wedding with Diego. I'm closing a door on almost seven years of marriage.

Diego was never like this. Even when we dated for five years. He was always so sweet, so kind, understanding, etc. He would buy me flowers for no reason. My apartment would be covered in them and I would tell him that I would donate some to nursing homes just to make room. I don't know what snapped in Diego to make him the way he was now.

Sighing I look up and stare at the lake. There is a small flock of ducks swimming passed me. Their color feathers shine in the afternoon. It puts a smile on my face. Something that is hard for me to do lately with everything going on.

"I was wondering when that smile would come," a familiar voice makes me turn to my left. There, a few feet away from me, Misha stands. I haven't seen or spoken to him since he left my hotel after giving me his number.

A number I never called or texted.

I had too google him to see if I could find anything on him. Well, I found a crap ton on him. An actor who did a crap ton of good. He is loved by millions.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask. Another smile creeping onto my face.

"Not long," he says walking closer to me. "Just long enough to see that frown turn upside down." He gives a small smile. "Are you still at that hotel?"

I chuckle. "I am, I haven't had the time to look at apartments. I've been preoccupied trying to get my soon to be ex-husband to sign divorce papers."

Misha leans up on the railing along side me and looks at the ducks. "Maybe he's holding out to want to try and work things out with you?"

I laugh. "No, he's abusive and isn't having it with me being in control of myself now. The night I left him, it was really bad. It took a while for the mark he left on me to go away. Then he tried to convince my lawyer that I was having a mental breakdown."

"I'm sorry," Misha pulls back from the railing and pulls out his wallet and shows me a penny. "Here's to him signing the papers so you can officially be free of him." He tosses the penny into the water. "Are you doing anything, tomorrow?" He asks.

"Besides meeting Diego to get him to sign papers? No." I answer twiddling my thumbs.

"How about after you meet with him, I take you to look at apartments?" He leans towards me with a smile. "I can get you a really good deal. I'll even drive, so we don't have to walk."

"Sure."

***

"He's late," Xander says stirring his now cold coffee. Xander is the officer that helped me the night after  I left Diego. Xander was also the one who helped set me up at the hotel I'm staying at. Xander's wife, was a domestic violence victim and he was the officer that pulled his ex husband off her. They didn't get hook up until a year later when they ran into each other. They have been married for almost ten years with two kids.

"Just give it a few minutes," I say contemplating buying another coffee eying the divorce papers on the table.

Five minutes later, Diego waltz into the Starbucks and spots us. A smile spreads across his face when he sees me. Then it instantly fades when he sees Xander. He crosses the little shop in a few short strides. His black shoes squeaking from the rain outside.

"So," he sits down and crosses his arms. "Is this who you left me for? Some wanna a be body builder."

Xander smirks. "No, I'm actually a police officer. Since YN here has a few orders drawn up on you it's best that she have the right protection. Even in a public place." I notice that as Xander leans over he has his badge in his hands.

Diego looks over to me. "Can' you stop being so dramatic about this? So that we can just do this alone"

"Not ever going to happen," I say firmly. "And I'm not dramatic. Not about you hitting me."

The look in Diego's eye's grows dark but he puts on a fake smile. "I would never hurt you," He looks around as a few people over heard what I said. "I can't believe you're still on that."

"Look," Xander leans back and pushes the papers towards Diego. "All YN needs you to do is sign these. This game you're trying to play, just keeps hurting her."

Diego stares at Xander. "I don't think I will." He pushes the papers back and starts to get up. "Until next time."

"You're just going string this along aren't you?" I stood up so fast that Xander's coffee spilled. "I don't want to be married to you anymore. I stopped wanting that when you threw the first book and kicked a hole in the wall. I stopped when you hit me. I just let it go on for so long that I forgot how to not walk on eggshells. You don't own me. I don't love you. So sign the fucking papers."

Diego stares at me. I hadn't realized, but I pretty much yelled. I gather my bag and make my way out. Xander follows me.

"Hey," He hands me the papers. "Do you need me tot drive you back?"

"No, a friend is picking me up," I pull my phone out and text Misha. "He should be meeting me in a few minutes. He's taking me to look at apartments."

***

Another month goes by and I'm moved into my new apartment. All thanks to Misha and his ways of persuasion. I got the first six months half off. It was a nice little one bedroom apartment with a little den. Misha even convinced me to let him buy the furniture sets I had my eye one in a catalog.

"I'm just use to working hard for stuff like this," I say when the last of the movers move the stuff in. "I literally don't know how to thank you. Even just saying 'thank you' doesn't seem to be enough."

Misha laughs. The laugh takes up his entire body. "Just a simple thank you would be enough. Unless you want me to come up with a way to convince you to let me take you out to dinner. As friends of course."

I feel my cheeks start to burn. This dude is smooth. "Okay, dinner, as friends, it is."

Misha smiles big. "Awesome, now lets get this place looking as good as you."

For the next two days, Misha is over helping me settle down in my apartment. Whenever he leaves for food or whatnot, he always comes back with something to add to the place. I didn't even argue once.

The time I spent with Misha, he always hyped me up for stuff, he said things how it was and never ever sugar coated things, he held doors open, and gave me words of encouragement whenever I told him that Diego, again, refused to sign papers over.

Diego not signing papers was frustrating. The more time I spent with or talking to Misha, the more my feelings for him grew. But I was still tied to the asshole of a man who knew what he was doing. He knew of my interactions with Misha, he always brought it up but I would shut it down.

"He's just using you for public gain," Diego would tell me. But I knew Misha pretty well at this point. Things I've read on Twitter about him, Misha would never use someone like that.

Each meeting I had with Diego, I started to see him for who he really was. I don't even know how I fell in love with him. He's even gotten his parents convinced that I'm a lunatic. His mom would text me calling me all sorts of names and telling me that I should be the one paying for Diegos therapy sessions. She would also tell me that she knew I was trouble when he brought me home to meet them. His father wanted me to pay back every dime he had spent on mine and Diegos wedding or he would get a lawyer involved. He would even send disturbing texts saying that he's got people watching me and that I should be be careful.

I won't lie, that scared the shit out of me.

That last one pissed Misha off. I have never seen him go off about someone before. After that text, I went out and put restraining orders on Diegos parents and Misha convinced me to have someone look after me while he was gone for his show. I agreed and my new 'bodyguard' went with me everywhere and made sure I got home safe. Misha even hired a security company to set up an alarm system at my apartment.

If I didn't know better, Misha was or has developed some kind of feelings for me.

***

A year after I made my escape from Diego, I finally have my own car. Paid for all on my own. So no more walking. I park my car in my apartment parking spot and pull out my phone. I see the text from Misha, it's from an hour ago. His flight is delayed and that he would see me at some point tomorrow.

"Bummer," I lay back and watch as George, the bodyguard, pull his car into the parking spot behind me. I unbuckle and get out and watch as George do the same. Before I could get a word out, I see two police cars come up and two officers run passed me.

I slowly turn around and watch them run up to my level. My heart beats fast and I follow them. George, of course follows as well. I skip the steps two at a time and watch as one officer kicks my down. I hear yelling and banging around. Suddenly, George has both his hand on my shoulder and pulling me back as an officer finally come out.

With Diego in handcuffs. His nose is bleeding and a bruise is already forming on his face.

I pull away from George and run into my apartment. There standing in the middle of the room was the other officer talking to Misha. Misha has a busted lip and small gash on the side of his head. I notice that the glass bowl that Misha got me was in pieces and the coffee table was destroyed.

Misha sees me and I rush over to him. "Oh my gosh," I take hold of his face. "Are you okay?"

"Are you the lady who lives here?" the officer asks.

"Yes, and this is my friend," I don't my eyes off Misha.

"And the gentleman we arrested?"

"That's no gentleman," my voice is hard. "That is my abusive soon-to-be ex-husband. He has a restraining order on him."

The officer puts her note pad away. "That will explain a lot. We will contact you if we need anything else." With that, the officer left.

"Everything is all good?" Georges voice makes me turn around.

"Everything is good, George," Misha says. "You can go."

After George leaves I turn back to Misha. "You said you're flight had been delayed. What happened?"

Misha leads us to the couch and we sit down. "I only said that so I can surprise you. I hadn't been here for even an hour before he broke in. He wanted to know where you were and I wouldn't tell him. I guess a neighbor called 911 due to the yelling and stuff. Officer saw my stuff and I said my friend lives here and is letting me stay with her."

I nod my head. "I'm just happy you're okay. I don't know how Diego found me."

"It doesn't matter," Misha takes my hand. "He will answer for it in court.

And Misha was right. A week after everything went down, Diego was charged with breaking and entering, assault, and basically breaking the restraining order by stalking. I sat in during the hearing with Misha. Diego's parents tried to fight the five year sentence but the Judge said that if they said anything else before court ended he would double it without parole.

A few weeks after that, I am getting dinner ready when Misha shows up. He had been showing up a lot lately. I don't mind it at all, Misha makes me feel sane and safe.

"Hey," Misha says setting his coat on the couch. "I see that new coffee table came."

"It did, thanks to you," I say pulling a second plate down. I've learned to make a bit extra whenever Misha came over. "Also, I have some good news." I point to the orange envelope on the table. Misha looks at it and then back at me.

"Did," he starts to say.

"He sign it?" I finish his question. "Yeah, he called saying he will sign it. So I dropped by and had them take the paper to him to sign. I wasn't going to see him. They brought it back all signed. I am mailing in the morning."

"That's amazing, YN," Misha comes up to me and hugs me.

"Well, let's celebrate with dinner."

After dinner, after we clean up, we are sitting on the couch. Talking about whatever came to mind. We are talking about things we are still embarrassed by when Misha takes my hand.

"YN," He says softly. "I want to tell you something."

"Sure," I put my free hand on over his.

"I...I really care about you and I am glad that it was me here and not you when Diego broke in," Mishas voice is soft still. "I honestly don't know what I would do if you were here and he hurt you. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe."

"And I am," I slowly rub his hand with my thumb.

We stare at each other for what feels like forever when Misha pulls his hands from mine and put them on my face. His eyes look search mine for permission but I lean closer to him and brush my lips over his. He closes his eyes and I feel the shiver run through his body.

His gentle grip on my face forces my face back to his where his lips wait. They're smooth and there's a lot of passion behind his kiss. My hands run up to his collar as I move closer to him. The kiss deeps and Mishas hands trail down my sides to my hips where he pulls me onto his lap. It makes it easier for my tongue to push pass his lips and into his mouth.

Without breaking the kiss and with a low growl, Misha stands up, both arms supporting me as he walks us to the bedroom. Kicking the door shut.

#SPN #spn fanfiction #spnfandom #spn final season #spnimagine #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #supernatural fic #supernatural family #fanfic #spnfanficfriday #spnfamily #Misha Collins #misha misha misha #misha collins x reader #misha collins x you #misha x reader #misha x you #misha collins imagine #misha imagine #misha one shot #misha collins one shot #misha collins fluff #misha collins angst #misha collins smut #misha fluff #misha agnst #Misha Smut

[figure-skating-watch-party]

Challenge Cup, Haag

Another competition is here! And I bought the ticket just for one reason - Misha Kolyada. And then for seeing some more skating ;)

ICE DANCE

I really like these events when there are just a few participants and when you like all of them it’s even better.

Lopareva/Brissaud (FRA), Yankovskaya/Lukacs (HUN) and Verhaegh/van Geffen (NED) all have great rhythm dances.

The French with their Too darn hot and the Hungarians with Grease went for trusted programs many teams decided for and they did good job with it. I especially liked Grease (in my private ranking I’d put this Grease on third place behind Smart/Diaz and Guignard/Fabbri). 

On the other hand Chelsea Verhaegh and Sherim van Geffen decided for Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and I love it. I don’t think anyone else is skating to it. 

I generally prefer rhythm dance to free dance but I like everyoneeee here, so I liked Lopareva/Brissaud’s Daft Punk, Yankovskaya/Lukacs’ Une hymne d’amour and Verhaegh/van Geffen’s War of hearts. During ice resurfacing they were showing V/vG’s free dance from the previous season - Andre Rieu, Waltz and that was amazing. I have to say they are the discovery of the season for me! 

PAIRS 

So here are some highlights and thoughts... I wrote it after SP and then added some more thoughts after FP so... the opinions change quickly :D 

I know that Tarasova/Morozov are in the league on their own, but - to my own surprise - I caught myself thinking that I really liked their Bolero SP and that it was hot. And their FP to Adagio! Especially the second half is amazing and the last spin is so wonderfully performed to the music. They won very comfortably even with missing the jump combination. 

It was so nice to see Hocke/Kunkel in competition again after she had problems with a balance organ (I assume in the ear?). And that one lift in their FP? She just stretches her leg absolutely upwards wow. 

I really love Chtchetinina/Magyar’s Renaissance short program and they skated it without any mistakes here! They really are a great team on top European level. 

And I also loved Keriven/Pierre’s Corsica SP. They had a bit unfortunate FP. Fall on a throw and immediatelly afterwards interrputed the lift. (This lift gave them troubles also at nationals :(  ]

Netherlands has two pairs! (thanks to a little help from Russian ladies). And Osipova/Epstein got their TES minimum for Worlds. As for the other Netherlands’ team Danilova/Tsiba I really liked how commited to the performance they were in their FP to All of myself.  

The Program for me is Broda/Betegon’s The lion king SP. I wasn’t even breathing when they were skating because I want them to do well so much. And they did! They did a great program but unfortunately didn’t reach the TES minimum. I don’t think Spain will have a participant in the pairs category at Worlds... Laura Barquero teamed up with Marco Zandron but I don’t know how it’s with his release and their training... (now confirmed, no participants from Spain in pairs)

I don’t know I found Zhuk/Bidar’s West Side Story SP underwhelming? Maybe it’s because of the music, yeah there were also two falls but they are kind of bland generally? Oh, nope, sorry, change of opinion. It’s just the music. Because then I saw their Ave Maria FP and they were wonderful. I was a bit surprised to hear this music but they both were so graceful on the ice. How is such a change possible? And I love the moment when she’s doing a solo spin and he’s doing a spread eagle around her. 

Sweden has a pair! Twins pair Greta and John Crafoord. 

I’m so happy for Alexandra Herbrikova/Nicolas Roulet that their FP went so well! They skate to Imhotep and the drums really make sure that you hear every note and get the rhythm :D but they kept up with the music!

Sara Conti/Niccolo Macii. I love their Oblivion SP. Here they had an unfortunate hard fall after a twist. I really thought Sara was almost on the way to the hospital and they returned on the ice and flawlessly performed and finished their program. And they got the TES minimum for Worlds. (If everything goes according to the plan it will be Della Monica/Guarise and Ghilardi/Ambrosini going but why not to have an alternate?) I’m half shocked that they could continue and half admire their, especially Sara’s strenght. Understandably, they withdrew from FP.

MEN

Another portion of highlights and thoughts... Not me not only not watching the FP live but beginning to watch it two hours before the access to it expires. Ooops. But I managed to watch it just in time ;)

Jari Kessler’s SP is amazing. Really, Jari Kessler was another discovery for me at this competition. 

In the short program, Burak Demirboga was great! And Gabriele Frangipani too. I preferred his FP this season to the Impossible SP but now I’ve paid proper attention to the SP too and it’s great. The FP didn’t go so well here for Gabriele with two falls and he slipped off the podium. 

Romain Ponsart is like a different skater this season. Expressive performer. I love it: his SP as well as his Elvis FP. 

Georgi Rhestenko from the Czech Repblic got the TES minimum in SP! Yay!  Unfortunately, the FP went ... not well. Poor him. He skates to Joker (I have to admit that Joker is even bigger no-no for me than Mouline Rouge) but at least his program isn’t terrifying and he does a cool cantilever there.

Tomas Llorenc Guarino from Spain also got the TES minimum in SP! And he has such an amazing program. That’s so big. Can you imagine a Spanish skater again at Worlds? In 2019 there was no Spanish participant in men singles and the future looked bleak. Javi, Javier Raya and Felipe Montoya retired, then even Hector Alonso retired... And now? There are new upcoming skaters! Tomas, Aleix Gabara, Pedro Garcia, Arnaud Joly and Iker Oyarzabal. Some of them getting close to or achieving TES for Europeans and now Tomas even fighting for World’s TES. I’m just so so happy. His FP to Angel and Devil didn’t go that well, he had two falls and in the end didn’t get the necessary points for Worlds but he was close! I really have high hopes for next year’s Europeans and Worlds!

There was a really strong Spanish participation at this competition. Arnaud Joly and Aleix Gabara also took part and I really liked Aleix’ FP to Romeo & Julie. 

We had also two Hungarians there! Mate Borosz and Andras Csernoch. He has a really good Attack FP. 

I adore Morisi Kvitelashvili’s Amsterdam SP. I have to repeat again that his skating is so “civil” no pretending of fake deep emotions, just beautifully skating to Jacques Brel’s magnificent voice. Poor Morisi, the FP went really bad, falling, popping jumps... Though I’d watch him just skate without jumps any day.   

Still no opinion about Adam Siao Him Fa. I’m sorry. Though... I kinda liked his FP to Leave a light on.

Another skater I saw for the first time: Kornel Witkowski from Poland. Skating his FP to Fly me to the moon. I looooove jazzy programs. I love him already. 

Another big revelation for me was Basar Oktar from Turkey. I only knew Burak... And Basar skated absolutely amazing FP to Notre Dame. In fact, they both skated so well that they placed fifth and sixth overall.  (Basar 8th SP, 5th FP, 5th overall, Burak 5th SP, 6th FP, 6th overall). With a difference of just half a point between them. But I assume this was what decided and a day afterwards, Basar was nominated for Worlds. Woohoooo

Donovan Carillo is a sweetheart. He has so much charisma, he’s so authentic while skating (also his costume is awesome and he has suspenders which automatically means I love love love the costume, the program, the skater ;) ) His In the mood program is such a nice jazzy gem... though it wasn’t his day. Fortunately he already got the TES for SP and was fighting only for the FP.  OMG, yesss, skating gods, yess, he got the TES! His program to Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps is just so Donovan. Engaging, sweet, charming. I like this formula. One program to a well known English song, the other program more “local”. In the past, he skated to songs by a Mexican author, with Perhaps it’s really not “local” per se, but the lyrics in his program is sung in Spanish. (Matteo Rizzo goes the same way - one known engaging pop song and the other one Italian) 

 Misha Kolyada. I think it was a good decision to go to an international comp instead of Russian Cup final, to get used to it again, to international competitors and judges. (Ok, shame about the 1A) but he’s a king. Absolute king.  He’s also absolute king in the free. The way he moves on the ice is unreal. The emotions he makes us feel... 

#figure skating #figureskating #watch party #current season #2020/21 #challenge cup #mikhail kolyada #donovan carrillo

[fanficcollection]

Tumblr-Girl (Part 16)

Tumblr – Girl (Part 16) Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: unique con-experience Word Count: ~2700 Warnings!: mentions of emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, violence, slight mentions of panic attacks

Notes: Please leave some feedback!

Part 1 Masterlist  

Your PoV:

You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t believe what happened. Yeah, sure, you read something about the SPN cast and their bond to the SPNFamily, but… no… this couldn’t be possible. You stared, first at Jensen Ackles, who entered the room first, then at Misha Collins and then at Beck. “Uhm..” you mumbled. “Hi…” you didn’t know what to say and for a few moments the room was filled with silence. “We just wanted to check on you, since we probably caused this incidence yesterday with our surprise.” Jensen said and smiled. You felt your heart rate speed up and your face tuning bright red. *Calm down* you said to yourself. Beck shot you a smile and a glance that said “It’s okay. Take your time.” You took two more breaths before thinking about what Jensen said. “Thank you.” You responded and you still couldn’t stop staring until Beck pulled two chairs to them and offered them a seat. They nodded and sat down while Beck was sitting at your bed. “So, how are you, Y/N?” Misha asked again. Slowly you got back to yourself “Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a panic attack. I’m not that good with big groups of people.” You smiled “Thanks for getting me out there; Beck told me the whole story.”

“No, problem, really. It was the least we could do for you. When can you get out of here?” Misha asked. “Hmm.. I don’t know exactly. Maybe today in the evening, but I think the nurse said that they probably will keep me here until tomorrow, just to be sure everything is okay.” You didn’t say anything of the cramps and the flashback you had in the ambulance car yesterday because you didn’t want to look like a complete freak. Then you and Beck had a nice talk with the two actors. The initial shyness and insecurities were gone after a few minutes and you had a lot of fun, it was nice to chat with them about everyday-things. To be honest you never idolized actors, not even the ones of your favourite show, they were still normal people to you, normal people with a very cool job, but normal people, maybe this helped you to keep the conversation interesting for everyone. Jensen shared something about his family and about the time on set. Beck and you told them about your studies and how you met just a day before. You noticed Mishas glance on you a few times, but maybe he just wanted to check on you if everything was okay. You didn’t think a lot about that. Suddenly Jensens phone rang, he looked at it and just said “It’s Jared, I’ve to get that one.” Then he left the room picking up the phone.

Mishas PoV

When Jensen left the room, I knew this could be the moment to tell Y/N that I was Dmitri. I thought about how to tell her, but how? There was no good way into this conversation. There was silence in the room since Jensen left. “I guess you have to do convention things today?” Y/n asked and I slowly nodded. “Yeah, in the afternoon there are some things to do, but our panels don’t start until tomorrow.” I answered. “Then why did you get here yesterday?” Y/N asked. “I mean, you could have spent this two days anywhere, you never get this early on a convention.” I looked at her a bit baffled, like she read my mind and didn’t know what to say. “Sorry. That’s none of my business.” She backtracked. “I.. I’m just curios.” I thought about it a little longer, this was the moment to come out with my secret “No, it’s okay. It’s a good question. Uhm- We… no, wait actually it was just me.. So I had to meet someone here… uhm-I planned something for this I needed some time.” I shook my head. Why couldn’t I just come straight to the point. “I see… and Jensen and Jared just were some good friends who didn’t let you down on this…” Y/N smiled. “Well, yes.. but..” I tried again, but she interrupted me and said “It’s okay. It’s your private stuff, I understand that you don’t want to tell some people, who you don’t know about it.” She smiled again. No, she didn’t understand and I didn’t know how to correct this misunderstanding. “No…, wait… I-“ suddenly Jensen came back in the room. “Misha, I think we have to go.. They need us at the convention centre.” He said and I looked at him like he told me my mum has died. “I’m sorry, Jared was very clear about it. We have to be there asap.” He looked at Y/N and Beck “It was nice to meet you, Beck. Y/N, I hope you get better soon.” Then he turned to me “Mish, I’ll get us a taxi, hurry up.” After that he shot us a last smile and left the room. I stared at the door, then I stood up, I took my wallet and pulled two of my cards out, I didn’t really think about it, but in the next moment I just did what I had to do. I took one card and noted a short thing on it “This is my private phone number” I gave the card to Beck and then took the second one, also wrote something on it and gave it to Y/N “Call me, if you need anything, doesn’t matter what, you are part of the family now. We have your back. I have your back.” Then I stood up, took my jacket and left the room after one last look back. Y/N stared at me and Beck, her friend, also couldn’t believe what happened. I smiled and closed the door after me. That didn’t go like planned, but it wasn’t that bad. Jensen waited outside the hospital; he wore his sunglasses and tried not to be noticed. I was heading in his direction, but my thoughts were completely somewhere else. Was it right to give her the card or was it a stupid idea? When I reached Jensen, he smiled at me “She is really nice. I like her, man. Did you tell her, that you are your secret guarding angel?” he teased me and I had to smile about the reference. “Hmm. I really tried, but she didn’t understand.” I answered “She thinks I’m here to meet a woman…” Jensen raised his eyebrows “Well, I mean, that’s not exactly wrong.” He laughed. “Yeah… She thinks it’s another woman, she interrupted me, when I was explaining the situation and then you came back and.. Well… This was it, maybe its better like that.” Jensen looked at me and shook his head “I don’t know.” But then the taxi came and we tried to focus on the upcoming convention.

Your PoV:

You didn’t look at the card Misha gave you, you held it in your hand and after a few minutes of staring on the closed door, you put it in your note-book, which laid on the nightstand. “Uhm. Did this really happen?” Beck asked and stared at the card in her hand. You looked at her and nodded. “I guess he liked us. And he really trusts us not to be some crazy creeps.” You started to laugh and Beck joined in. “Nothing on the con could beat that.” She said.

The rest of the day flew by, you really were allowed to leave the hospital on the same day, in the evening and for a short moment you thought about attending the Saturday Night Special at the Con, you read so much about it and you really wanted to see it with your own eyes, but on the other hand you couldn’t risk it to pass out again und cause the stuff more trouble than you did already. So you went out for a drink with Beck, she said that she had seen the SNS a few times, it wasn’t a drama to miss it this time. You let the taxi driver choose the bar and he showed you a little bar, which was very nice and not very crowded. Perfect for having a little chat and enjoying some drinks. You stayed there for quite a while when suddenly a group of people arrived. “Hmm. It seems nice, the taxi-driver didn’t lie, this place is really an inside tip” somebody said and Beck turned around quickly “That’s Richard Speight and I think the others are the people from the SNS” she said “Y/N, I think this is the weirdest con-experience I’ve ever had.” Beck laughed, “like, how can all this happen on just one weekend?” You starred at the group of people and then back to Beck. “Uhhm. I don’t know what to say.” You stated and focussed on your conversation again, you felt like the cast deserved some private time, but just a few minutes later Rob and Matt stood in front of you “Hello, would you mind if we join you at your table?” Matt asked “The rest of the tables are already occupied..” Beck looked at me and I looked at her in the same moment, then we nodded “No problem, feel free to join.” Beck said and they put their beer-bottles on the table “Thanks. So, I’m Matt, and this is Rob.” Matt introduced himself and the smaller guy, he obviously thought you didn’t know them and with a sideglance to Beck you decided to play along. “This is Y/N and I’m Beck.” Said Beck and you smiled “Nice to meet you, Rob and Matt. So, what brings you here?” You asked them and Rob giggled “The taxi-driver, we asked him for a nice, little bar, so he got us here” – “Well, same thing happened to us.” Beck laughed “We are for… well, for holidays and were looking for a spot with less tourists.” She then continued. It was a very nice talk with Rob and Matt, some time later Richard Speight joined in and brought some beer for everybody. You laughed; they told you stories from their private lives, from their travelling together and some other stuff. You still couldn’t believe this actually happened, it was your very own con-experience and it was fantastic.

When you looked at your phone to check the time it was about 3:30 in the morning. You were getting tired and so was Beck and even the guys groaned from time to time. “I guess it’s time to head to the hotel.” You said in Becks direction, she nodded and you both stood up. “In which hotel are you staying?” Rob asked, when Rich looked at him pulling the eyebrow up he realized how odd this question was “Oh.. sorry.. I.. I thought… I mean, we are staying in a hotel as well… And I thought about sharing a taxi…” you smiled about Robs embarrassment and then told them the name of your hotel “I think it would be great not to get home alone, in the middle of the night in a unknown city.” You added and Beck agreed. “Nice, that’s really nearly next to our hotel.. So let’s go” Rich said and guided you and Beck outside the bar to a taxi. When the taxi arrived at your hotel you said goodbye to the guys “It was nice meeting you, we had a lot of fun” you said to them and they nodded. “Have a good night, you two. And don’t forget: You always meet twice.” Richard laughed and gave you a wink, then they closed the car-door and headed to their hotel, which was just a few hundred meters away. Beck was still smiling “This was honestly one of the best days of my life.” She said. “Have a good night, Y/N. Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow, I’ll pick you up here at about 8:00 a.m.?” – “Sounds good, have a good night, Beck” you hugged her and then headed towards the elevator, to get to your room.

The following Sunday was nearly normal, you had breakfast with Beck, then you walked around the convention center, but you didn’t try to watch one of the panels. After the closing ceremony, you watched it on a screen in the hallway, you went back to your hotel room to pack your stuff, you got yourself late-check-out, so you could use the whole afternoon for packing and thinking about the past weekend, it was kind of crazy, but it was the best weekend in your life so far. Then you thought about the journey home, coming home in your own apartment. Your stomach hurt, when you thought about meeting Jacob again. He wasn’t a fan of this trip, he liked you to be by his side, he needed you by his side, he said that every time you talked about this trip. In this moment your phone buzzed ‘Hey babe, when are you getting home today? Waiting for you here. Ily Jacob’ you smiled. He loved you, maybe he wasn’t angry about the weekend. Maybe it will all be okay.

---

After you said goodbye to Beck and you promised to visit each other you took your bus home, it was quite a ride, a few hours passed and it was dark outside when you arrived in your hometown. You texted Jacob your arriving time and he promised to pick you up at the station and he held his promise. He pulled you closer as soon as he got the chance. “I missed you, babe. You can’t do that to me again” he said and you could smell alcohol in his breath. “Are you drunk, Jacob?” you asked and he shook his head “I just had one beer, let’s go home.” He grabbed your wrist far too tight and pulled you to the car, there he pressed to the car. “I missed you, you know. Because I need you, I love you, you do love me as well, do you?” he said, not leaving any space for you to move. You nodded, but he wasn’t letting you go “Say it, babe, you love me.” He said again and forced you to look into his eyes “Yes, Jacob, I love you.” When he heard that, he let go of you and put your bags in the car. “Let’s go home, babe, you have to tell me how your weekend was.” He said and you got into the car.

In the evening you told Jacob some things of the weekend, but he didn’t seem that interested so you kept most of it for yourself. Together you watched some TV and then went to bed, it was late and both of you were tired so you just slept next to each other. The following days were quite unspectacular; you weren’t in the mood to unpack your things, so the backpack just laid there at the floor. Jacob was here nearly every night, you got used to giving him what he wanted. You hated the days he was in a bad mood so you tried everything to keep him happy. One morning, a few days later Jacob tripped over your bags, you hurried to get your things and put them away “Sorry, I should have put them away earlier.” You said, but Jacob kept quiet, “I’m so sorry, are you hurt?” you asked again and after you put away the rest of the backpack you saw that Jacob got something in his hand. “Babe? Who is Dmitri?” he asked and you could sense the anger in his voice. You didn’t understand, how…? “What?” you asked and Jacob looked at you furiously. “Don’t do this to me- Who is Dmitri?” he asked again and when you didn’t say anything he grabbed your wrist and roughly pulled you close. “I thought you loved me.” He then said and in the next second you felt a stinging pain on your cheek. You couldn’t do anything but watch when Jacob threw something on you, a little card or something, then he left the place. You sat on the floor. What happened? When the pain slowly went away you took the card Jacob threw at you. It was the card with Misha Collins phone number, you looked at it closely for the first time since Misha gave it to you, it was not just his phone number, there were two more words on it “Love, Dmitri”

______

Tag list (let me know if you want to be tagged):

@chantelle-c333 @awolfamongstus @jannalionheart @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @evyiione @destielschild @xx-melissa-x @kcam1621 @smoothdogsgirl @kristendanwayne  @haappy-go-lucky @laffytaffyhumor @thebookisbtr@michell868 @duubaduu @darthcastiel @theoneandonlysuccubus @internationalmusicteacher @gracejo2 @nanie5  @goobykeding @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @irene-frazer @thealienplace @hey-an-original-url @youknowitsmj @anspgene @sarahbaker2010 @mimzy1994 @shore-line-jewels187 @aberrant-annie @shiivaley  @thefansomdad @vicmc624​

#supernatural #superwholock #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #spn fanfic #spnfandom #SPNFamily #SPN #spn fanfiction #tumblr girl #Misha Collins #misha x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

[deancaskiss]

I'm sorry to drop this in your askbox but I'm feeling pessimistic and trying to be realistic at the same time (and I need someone I can talk to about this): I feel like we all are in denial and trying to make some kind of sense to this mess when we should simply accept that the ending was just shitty and be happy that, at least, we've got Cas's confession. As much as it's a burry your gay trope, even if Dean did reciprocate Cas's feelings in 15x18, I'm pretty sure the 2 next episodes wouldn't have been different from what they gave us because Jensen said he hated the ending from the start, not because he is a heller (I'm not saying he isn't, because HE IS) but because of the way they ended Dean/the show. Still, I'm pretty sure Misha and Jensen knew how the love confession was important and did everything they could to make it as romantic as possible, which I'll be forever grateful ❤️ Also I wanted to thank you for the fics you write, they always melt my heart 😭

Hi there nonnie. First of all, I want you to know you don’t have to apologize for dropping this in my askkbox. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, okay? I’m here for you- to listen and to talk. Secondly, I want to thank you for reaching out, and for choosing to pick me to reach out to. I know these kinda of struggles can be hard to deal with, and so you’re so brave for sending this message, and I’m just really grateful that you chose to open up to me. Thank you for trusting me.

Thirdly, let me start by saying you are not alone. And I don’t mean that in the placating way. I mean it literally. So many fans, including myself, have been struggling with the same feelings and thoughts you described. Your feelings and thoughts are valid. I understand what you’re feeling, because I have felt the exact same way. After the finale aired, I was so gut wrenchingly broken that I couldn’t enjoy the rest of my vacation. I stopped eating and sleeping because I was feeling so depressed about how things ended. And even now, I still can’t accept the ending. I don’t think I ever will.

And if you can’t accept the ending, then that’s okay, too. Myself, along with many others I know, are simply ignoring 15x20. It’s okay if you never want to watch the finale again. It’s okay if you never want to reblog any gifsets from the finale or write or read any fics associated with it.

Do i think a lot of us are in denial? Yeah, I do. I think there are people grasping at straws to find ways to make it better. And you know what? That’s okay too. The biggest thing to remember is everyone copes and reacts differently. That’s the beauty of humans. How I react may be different than you, which may be different from the majority of fans. And that’s okay. It’s all okay. We are allowed to grieve. We’re allowed to desperately clutch at small hopes as we move through the grieving process.

Was the ending shitty? Hell yes it was. Have I started to accept that? Yeah. Have other people accepted that? Maybe yes, maybe no. Like I said, everyone processes things at different speeds and reacts in their own way. So if you’re ready to move on and try and be happy with Cas’ confession and to focus your energy on that, then do that. You have every right to. You’re allowed to be happy about that moment and to find happiness in Cas’ confession. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently. Find your happiness and don’t let anyone take it from you.

Some people will adamantly say it wasn’t a bury your gays trope. Some people will go to their grave swearing it is. Do I think it was? Yeah, I agree with your thoughts on the matter. I definitely feel like it was a bury the gays trope, but I don’t think Misha intended for it to be that way. Maybe that’s just hopeful innocence, or maybe he was so excited to give us this moment that he didn’t really see the negative connotation that could come out of it. And I think that’s okay, to want to focus on the happiness and freeing moment and to be thrilled to see Cas’ acceptance and journey to opening up and expressing his truest self. 

You’re probably right in saying that even if Dean did reciprocate on screen, it might not have changed the ending. Maybe it would have. We’ll never know because we’re not the writers or producers or creators. Would it have been fulfilling to see Dean say it back? God yes. Would it have changed Dean’s story and his ending? I don’t know. I can definitely see why Jensen didn’t like the ending, especially when he put his heart and soul into this character and he wanted to see justice and a well-deserved ending for the character he’s held close to his heart for 15 years. 

I completely and utterly agree with you that Misha and Jensen must have known how important that love confession scene was to us. Everything they’ve said in interviews and the way they acted on screen screams it in big bold capitals letters to me. They gave that scene their all- they tapped into emotions and drained themselves in unimaginable ways to give us the scene they wanted to express. I’m 110% convinced they had private conversations about the scene prior to shooting, after shooting, prior to airing, and after it aired. This scene meant a lot to them, and it meant a lot to us, and they knew that. They poured their heart and souls into that confession- they wanted us to know the explicit romantic implications. I am totally with you in being forever grateful to Jensen and Mish for what they did for us in that scene ❤️

Lastly, wow, thank you for your sweet words about my fics! I’m so grateful and honored my fics can melt your heart! 🥺😭 sometimes it can feel like I’m writing into the void and that no one cares, so just hearing you say you like my fics means the absolute world to me! Thank you so much! ❤️ I’ve honestly found my writing zone here with destiel. I’ve written fics since I was about 15 (9 years ago now) but I’d never really been dedicated to writing a certain ship or fandom. I’d write a few things for something and then move on. I’ve never connected with a ship like I have with destiel. I’ve never wanted to write so much and been so inspired to write for a ship until I found destiel. And I’m so glad I did. It’s been such a pleasure and such an honor to write and post my destiel fics, and I can promise you I have no plans of stopping writing for Dean and Cas anytime soon! 💙💚

#asked and answered #anon #anonymous #long post #long reply #sorry for this super long reply #i didnt mean to essay write #thank you for this ask #thank you for reaching out #youre so brave #and you are not alone #i promise im here to listen and talk #everything you feel is valid #you are so brave and strong #you can do this #youre going to be okay #youre part of this family #we're here for you and we love you

[theyarebothgunshot]

jib 6 breakdown and analysis

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

if i would have to give this panel a signifier, i would say this is the panel of the inside jokes. it’s the panel that shows us how well they know each other, to the point that they finish each other’s sentences and start telling the same punchline to a joke at the same time. 

but besides all of that, it was also the panel of the shoulder touches, husband behavior, and rescuer misha. let’s dive into it.

-

i adore the fact that they are laughing and joking with each other from the first second they get on stage. the way that they tell that story about how they planned to have misha nap and have jensen drink whisky and humm, really reminds me of something that i mentioned a lot during my jib 7 analysis: they are very much in sync.

jensen slinging his arm around misha of course had to be compensated with a manly face and manly grip. the rituals… i know they are intricate.

it’s kind of cute how misha tried to both encourage jensen to try that step, and wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt himself lmao. dare i say husband behavior? (i do dare and i will do it again, bam bam!) 

something about the way they talk about j*red just makes me feel like they are such a team, if that makes sense? like, they both think the same things about j*red’s antics and talk in such a united way about it (“and jensen and i were like…” “i don’t even care. he [points at misha] doesn’t care.”) that it just sounds kind of coupley to me. *whispers* husband behavior.

i love that jensen’s first instinct after talking about missing j*red was to go over to misha, put his hand on his shoulder, and talk about his fucking flirting way of pranking misha versus j*red’s painful pranking of misha. “with you it’s like my friend and protector is....” i truly wish the audience wasn’t as loud as they were in that moment because i would love to fully hear that sentence. 

the look on jensen’s face when misha says “save it for when we take off our pants” is just priceless. ‘oh god here we go again, when will he ever learn’ but the funny thing is, he will make the same face later on in the panel, after talking about riding a dragon. that’s the face he makes when one of them goes slightly too far. just thought that was interesting.

what stands out to me the most is his reaction when misha turns around just as he is ‘fake unbuttoning’ his pants like: ‘i’m just kidding i’m innocent’ literally no reason to respond like that if misha is just his buddy.

misha’s “what are you doing?” as jensen is tying his flannel around his waist also stands out to me. he clearly does not like the look and can’t keep his mouth shut (“that was bothering me too”). why would you find the need to comment on your buddy’s fashion choice. (....husband behavior.)

just wanna take a moment to say that it’s very fucking funny that jensen said “don’t take selfies” when you know that just a few years later he would take the chest to chest selfie with misha. oh, jensen. 

we have all heard the “jensen pranks misha on set by flirting with him” story countless of times, but it’s still funny to me how flustered misha seems to get by the fact that jensen can get to him that easily. and jensen’s laugh here is so cute, he fully knows what he is doing. 

misha jokes that he spends more time sunning on rocks now as a merman than he used to, and jensen immediately starts to walk to the apple juice, something i have noticed that he does whenever he wants to avoid something (be it a question or a situation that’s happening on stage). it almost feels like he is stopping himself from making a comment or something. it’s interesting, because he just turns right back around and starts telling the grasshopper joke without getting anything to drink.

which leads to one of my favorite moments between them: misha, beaming, says that he has heard it before but he wants to hear it again, and mouths the words to the punchline along with jensen. he looks at the audience as if to say ‘good one, right?’ and when jensen goes “is this thing on?” misha immediately tries to distract him from his failed joke by using an inside joke (the first inside joke of the panel) with him. aka good husband behavior.

something tells me that “i’ll see you again, grasshopper” is another inside joke, so we’re counting it: number two. 

jensen. jensen pspsps come here. can you please explain to me why you are so horny for misha’s indianrussian accent? i cannot believe him (i can), trying to get him to use the accent to ‘help the girl in the audience’. 

so uhm. i think i just heard something while i was rewatching this panel that i never caught before. when misha reads what is on the box that was put on stage, he says: ‘please take this box and open later in private - daniella.’ and jensen goes: ‘yeah that’s from me’ with a flirty Look on his face like. hello??? why have i never seen anybody talk about this??? i’m??? internally screaming??? rest assured i had to take 5 when i saw this shit. 

can we take a second to appreciate the fact that jensen gave misha a once over when misha says the glitter is everywhere, and then jensen said “fairy herpes”. why did your mind go to a sexual reference jensen? why? (we know why).

“i hate when you get that look in your eyes. don’t! i’m sorry!” is one of the most coupley things to say, ever. just wanted to point that out. 

i love the playful vibe they have during this portion of the panel: jensen asking misha what he will do for the audience (thinly veiled excuse for wanting misha to do something that jensen will also enjoy), throwing the rings at misha, both of them “panicking” and lapping up the spilled apple juice.

look, i couldn’t not include the shirt lift. i had to. especially because of the way he looks at misha afterwards lmao and misha, darling misha, tries to defuse the situation by making a joke and it works because of course jensen does his signature unicorn laugh. sidenote: how cute is jackles when he grabs the guitar, begging people to erase the picture jsfhs. gotta love that man.

“you done messed up” inside joke number 3.

you know what is funny to me? the fact that jensen and misha often pretend not to know certain things about each other when they are on stage together. one example of this is during the underbear debacle, when jensen asks misha to proof he wears orange underwear and pretends he is shocked, even though the whole world knows that misha wears orange underwear. 

in this panel, it happens twice. the first time is here, when misha asks jensen ‘do you actually not smell?’ as if he isn’t one of the people in this world who would know that best. and then he, of course, immediately takes this opportunity to sniff jensen’s armpit. i mean. okay. which is extra funny because jackles doesn’t play along with the whole ‘i have no clue’ bit and just goes “yeah you’re not a stinker” without checking because, clearly, he already knows. 

i love jensen’s little smirk when he hears misha’s dragon would be pink + misha’s reaction to it.

before i read this post i always thought jensen meant that his own dragon would be salmon colored. but now i think that it’s not far fetched to believe jensen was actually thinking about the fact that he has stated he was wearing a salmon shirt. which means that, in this moment right here, he was implying that instead of pink, misha’s dragon (aka jensen) would be salmon. which makes his reaction (looking down, laughing but shaking his head as if he can’t believe himself) very understandable. remember what i said about that being the face he makes when one of them takes it too far? yeah.

but then, something happens that is quite remarkable to me. instead of backing down from what he said, he fully commits to it. he turns to misha, and goes “if i could ride a dragon”. listen to the way he puts extra weight behind “ride” and “dragon”. 

then he asks if he understands the question correctly and repeats “what would it look like?”, the girl in the audience says “yes, but also any special abilities…” but jensen just ignores that because obviously, in his head the dragon is misha and he is not gonna shake that thought process any time soon. so naturally, he goes “i think my dragon that i would want to…” but stops JUST before saying “ride”, the guy KNEW what he was sounding like. lmao jensen i gotta give it to you buddy, good effort. you did well. you came far. you even said “look, i’m just gonna go for it here” even though misha’s face speaks volumes. i love you for that. because everything that came out of your mouth right then sounded very not straight.

in fact, it’s only because of misha’s interference (a reoccurring thing during these panels) that he stops himself completely and goes to talk with misha. i really wonder what would have happened if misha didn’t stop him. i also REALLY wonder what misha and jensen discussed when they turned their backs to the audience. sigh. 

now we get to the juicy stuff. jensen’s little slip up here is really really strange, when you think about it. he says “i have kids” before quickly covering that up with “i have a kid now.” i’m not saying the ackles and the collins are one big happy family or anything like that, but i do think that they are close enough for him to slip up like this. maybe the kids hang out together a lot. maybe they have given each other enough support during those early days of raising kids that it sometimes feels like he had multiple kids at that point in time. idk. but in any case, i don’t think that’s a slip up you’d make unless there was some sort of truth in it. he also kind of stumbles over his words right after that. [before anybody runs to my inbox to tell me that j/2 tinhatters think this is about him and j*red raising their kids together: trust me, i know, but we’re not talking about that.]

misha’s cheeky “i thought you were talking about danneel” followed by the both of them simultaneously saying that jensen does not tell her what to do, made me grin like a fool. that is all. 

the way jensen says “misha, apparently you were looking pale and you need some sugar. there you go.” is so SOFT AND CUTE idek how to explain what i am feeling but it’s just. a lot. oh wait a minute, i do know what to call it: HUSBAND behavior.

“by the way we’re gonna pay so dearly when we get home” “yeah we are” lmao the jdmv vibes are strong in this one. 

look. i know it’s possible that misha woke up alone after that dream, thought to himself ‘i miss her’, went for breakfast, saw jensen, and told this story to him verbatim. but misha is literally telling the story from the pov of waking up from a dream and saying that out loud. it would make sense that he would explain that dream to the person who he woke up with, and that he would follow the dream explanation up with “i miss her”. plus jensen is REPEATING IT as if he was right there when misha said that. add to that the way jackles stumbles over his words here and gets flustered and sits down? and misha’s face? yeah. you done messed up jackles, part 2. 

jensen doesn’t know what to do with himself. just look at his face right after he sits down. and misha, once again, comes to the rescue, trying to continue the conversation about poop in order to distract both jensen and the audience. bless his soul. 

it leads to the second instance of misha pretending that he doesn’t know something about jensen, namely that jensen can’t stand poop even from his own daughter. misha goes: “no? not for you?” as if he didn’t already know that. 

round of applause for the jib team, for putting on ‘this thing called love’ to get jensen and misha to dance……. just saying.

jensen’s little nod to misha right here? husband telepathic communication at its finest. even their silly dad dances are in sync. 

jackles you are NOT being slick we can SEE you tossing the mic to your other hand so you can pull misha in by the waist (or honestly maybe his hand landed lower idk idk it’s possible).

it really is something special, though, what happened right here: jensen, macho masculine grumpy performative jensen, is smiling and laughing and enjoying dancing on stage, doing some ballet moves, all because of misha (and by some extent felicia). not just with felicia or by himself, but with rob, osric, etc. honestly it’s heartwarming to watch. it makes me smile so much. 

-

and that was jib 6. thanks for reading everybody <3 

#cockles #jib 6 #i used a different method to add the timestamps and i really hope it works this time #as always please feel free to share your thoughts ! <3

[holylulusworld]

Devil’s Bargain - Part 9 - Broken Dreams

Summary: Getting the job as Jared Padalecki’s assistant was a dream coming true until you woke up in a living nightmare. He’s angry, selfish and possessive. The worst of all - his anger is focused on you. Quitting your job was your only way out - only it wasn’t the end of your nightmare...

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Reader, OFC’s Mark, Brad & Caleb (reader’s brothers), Jensen Ackles, Danneel Ackles

Warnings: angst, language, OOC Jared, Jared is a douche and worse, tension, unrequited feelings, heartbreak, betrayal, smut, unprotected sex, dom!Jared, degrading, injured reader, blood, violence, mentions of miscarriage/sexual assault/physical abuse (not Jared and nothing graphic)

PLEASE BE AWARE THIS IS A FANFIC. For the sake of the fic he’s single and an asshole. I still love him, but this fic came to my mind months ago...

Devil’s Bargain Masterlist

“I’m telling you Y/N is a nice person, okay. If you won’t stop treating her the way you do I’ll make sure she will sue you.” Jensen paces around Jared’s living room, watching his friend smirk.

“Calm down, Jay. Y/N and I talked about a few things. You can ask her. For over three weeks I behave. I’m not Mr. Sunshine but I admitted my behavior was inappropriate, Jensen. My ex, she messed with my feelings and head.”

Jared is not giving away he found out you are a therapist who works ‘undercover’ to help people.

“Good, I hope you will keep your word. I know Nicole was a bitch first grade, and I understand you had a hard time to get over what happened.” Jensen looks hopefully up at his best friend. “I promise Y/N is not like her. If I may recite my wife ‘she’s into you for sure’.”

“Jay…” Jared needs to hide a dark grin as Jensen presents you on a silver plate.

“Jared, I swear she would never hurt you. All Y/N ever wanted was to help you. Maybe I should tell you something important.” Close to blow your cover Jensen bites his lower lip. “Jare, Y/N is…”

“Good morning.” Beaming you wave at Jensen, followed by a curt nod at your boss. “Can I offer you a coffee Jensen?” Your friend eyes you warily, hoping Jared didn’t lie.

“No, thanks. I just came around to check on Jared and ask how he’s doing. How about you come to the party Danny and I are planning for hiatus?” Not knowing if you are allowed to go to the party you silently ask Jared for permission and his cock twitches in interest at your submissive behavior.

“I guess my assistant will come with me, Jensen. Now let’s talk about the script while Y/N can have breakfast.”

Jared gives you a warm smile and you return it, still not trusting the armistice between you and your boss. He seems to regret his behavior but the smart little voice in your head tells you to not trust him, while the dirty smirking girl dances around you.

“I prepared everything for the interviews today, Mr. Padalecki. I think you should check the questions and tell me if you want me to make sure they only ask you stuff you want to answer.”

While you show Jared the list he places one hand at your back, gently moving it up and down as he enjoys that goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

“I don’t want them to ask me about my past relationships.” Jared mumbles and you point at three crossed out lines.

“I already made sure they won’t ask that kind of question. I wouldn’t want to talk about my ex either…” Falling silent you give Jensen a cracked smile as he looks away, guilt-ridden.

“Why?” Jared leans closer, almost sensing your pain. “Did he do something wrong?”

“Let’s say he was not…” Blinking a few times you shake your head, swallowing the pain once again.

Sometimes you believe you should be one of your clients. While being an expert to let other people talk about their problems you avoid telling anyone what your ex did…

“I’d like to know.” Jared insists and you scoff, not giving away anything.

“I don’t think you want to hear a sob story, Mr. Padalecki. Let’s keep the private stuff private. If you want to cross out more questions, do so.” Running upstairs, you wipe away a few tears.

“What was that?”

Jensen plays his role well, not giving away he’s one of the few people knowing what happened back then. “Got, not clue, Jared. Maybe a bad break-up or something.”

“Bad break-up huh…?” Jared’s features soften for a moment but then he remembers you betrayed him, so he shakes his compassion off, planning his next step.

----

The interviews went well and you smile as Jared offers to have lunch with you. He even pulls your chair and tells you about his favorite food. Only listening to his explanations you realize Jared can be a charming man.

“I need to thank you for making sure they will not ask me about Nicole our relationship.” Jared is unusually open and you nod, just letting him talk.

“That’s what an assistant is there for.” You lie, not giving away anything. “Sir…”

“Well, that last guy asked me if I have a new relationship or if I like someone.” Nodding you sip at your water. “I told him there is this special girl.” Your heart drops and you poke your food with the fork.

“I’m happy you found someone you like, Sir.” Voice a bit too bitter you try to remind yourself Jared is a client, and that you need to be professional around him.

“Same. I mean…” Smiling Jared takes your hand in his. “You are the most important girl in my life right now. I should’ve told you way sooner I was that grumpy as I like you…”

Your eyes round and your heart beats a mile in a minute, still, you try to tame your emotions.

“Sir, we shouldn’t…I need to…” Jumping up you run toward the restrooms, earning yourself a dark grin from Jared.

One step closer to his goal…

----

Weeks passed and slowly the little alerted voice became silent. Jared seems to put effort into redemption, even offered you to stay at his house till hiatus. Maybe it’s time for the final step, an intervention with his friends and family.

A week ago, you called his parents and told Jensen and Danneel about your idea. Jensen was happy to hear Jared is doing well, so here you are trying to find a way to tell Jared you are a therapist.

“Mr. Padalecki…” Shuffling on your feet you decide to risk it all and talk to Jared. “I think we need to talk about something.” Jared is already in his suit pants and a white dress shirt to attend Jensen’s party.

“Can we not forget about work and stuff till after Jensen’s party, Y/N?”

Jared steps closer, moving his hands up and down your arms. You are shivering at his touch and he smirks, knowing you are close to giving in.

“Jar…I mean Mr. Padalecki, there is something you should know. I think it’s time to admit that I am…” His lips silence you and you gasp as his tongue snakes into your mouth.

“We will wait till after the party, Y/N. After you can tell me anything you want to…” Jared orders and you nod, still dumbfounded by the soft kiss and the way his hand claims yours.

“Oh—okay, Sir…” Following Jared out of his house you smile as he opens the door for you, even helps you get in, holding your hand once more. “Thanks…”

----

While Danneel watches Jared eying you up and down she tries to warn her husband once more. There is something on Jared’s features she doesn’t like tonight.

“Jensen, I’m telling you something is off with Jared. Yes, he is nicer, even offered Y/N a drink but his eyes…” Pointing toward you talking to Misha Danneel shakes her head. “Y/N is in too deep to see it, Jensen but I got a bad feeling.”

“You sure?” Jensen is not convinced. He only sees Jared walk toward you, a smile on his lips as he holds out his hand to dance with you. “Maybe he likes her, Danny. Y/N is the best and you know it…”

“Not if feelings are involved, Jensen. You know what happened with Scott…” Hating to bring your ex up Danny shakes her head. “Y/N is the smartest person I ever met, but she was too blinded by her feeling to see through Scott’s lies.”

“Do you believe Jared would pull such a stunt too? Would even hurt Y/N?” Jensen downs his drink in one go as he watches Jared’s hands press you close to his body. Eyes wide he sees his best friend kiss you and the pit in his stomach grows.

“Jensen, we should…” Nodding Jensen wants to stop your dance, but the music ends and you excuse yourself to get fresh air.

While Jensen tries to make his way through the people Jared can see the look his friend gives him and turns to leave the house too, knowing this is the last chance to strike…

Outside you try to tame your heart and libido. Your mind is screaming, as your smart little voice tries to tell you something is off with Jared. If only you wouldn’t have fallen for your client…

“Y/N, I think we should go. I need to reread the script and all…” Jared strips his jacket off, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Let’s go home…”

“Oh—sure. Shouldn’t we say goodbye, Sir?” Shaking his head Jared pecks your lips. “I said goodnight and greeted Jensen and the others from you. Let’s go home…”

----

You didn’t make it far into the house before your dress was on the floor and Jared’s hands all over your trembling body.

“Want you…”

“Jared…” Crying out you feel his rough hand cup your mound. “I need…god…please…tell you something. I can’t have sex with you without telling you I am…” His lips silence you once more and you fall into his trap.

Your hands tangle in his hair as Jared picks you up to carry you into his bedroom. You end on the bed, not caring you break your adamant rule to not fall for a client.

Jared enjoys the way your chest heaves up and down and your glassy eyes while he strips his clothes off. Without thinking twice, you drop your underwear to the floor, letting Jared have a look at your naked form.

“I must admit…that’s quite a sight.” Smirking Jared crawls up the body to settles between your legs. With skilled fingers he works your heated flesh, loving the way you grind against his digits.

“Jared, we shouldn’t…I have to tell you…oh…fuck me…” Jared is pushing the tip in, smirking as your eyes round with every inch he slides into you. Two rough hands grip your waist, digging his fingertips into your flesh he snaps his forward to bottom out.

“Just be my good girl, kitten and call me Sir when you cum…” You want to touch Jared, but he flinches away, thrusting hard to make sure you will not try again.

“No touching…” The dark grin on his face is back and you feel unease as he starts thrusting into you.

“Jared…”

“Sir…” He corrects, sliding out of you to flip you onto your stomach.

Disappointed you cry out as he slides back into you. His hand fists your hair as he starts to move his hips at a maddening pace. “Take it, slut. I want you to feel me and know that I won…”

His words don’t make sense but your brain is busy to tell you the knot in your belly is about to burst.

You never felt that full and you must admit Jared knows what he’s doing. Every thrust makes you cry out. His hand digs deep into your flesh, making sure you can feel him for days.

The whole time you want to say something, tell him who you are but he presses your head into the cushions, calling you his, and kitten to make sure you know he’s in control.

“I will show you…fuck…” Cursing Jared snaps his hips against your ass, using your body as he did with his ex that night and just now you recognize the pattern.

Your lips want to move, you want to say something but the knot bursts open and all you can do is cry out his name and three words making Jared’s blood run cold.

“I love you…” Blurring out the words you fall onto the bed, Jared’s cum dripping out of you. He’s frozen to the spot but then he shakes it all off, laughing before he slaps your ass.

“Nice fuck, slut. I think you should consider this as your severance pay.” Now you roll over, searching Jared’s face and the cold man is back, your eyes water as he keeps on talking. “You fell for my trap that easily.”

“I…I don’t understand…” You want to say more but Jared laughs about you. “I played you, Y/N. I know who you are, okay. Therapist my ass. Do you fuck all of your clients, whore?” Your face falls and the light in your eyes is gone.

Jared’s breath hitches in his throat as the look on your face shows something between disbelief, hurting, and betrayal. You look away, grabbing the blanket to cover your modesty.

“I want you to leave and never come back. Your apartment is gone too. You better get your stuff as I bought it…” Jared’s voice is not as self-confident as before.

The look in your eyes doesn’t let him go, just like the tremble of your body or the sobs leaving your lips.

“Everyone was right … you’re a monster…” Faster than ever before you get dressed to run out of the room.

While Jared stands in his empty bedroom, regretting he hurt you, hating himself you grab your things, tossing all you own in your bags.

After what feels like ages he finally finds the strength to walk out of the room only to find the guest room empty.

Jared can only watch you enter your old car to speed off, to leave his life like everyone else before…

----

Two hours later Jared’s phone rings and a cold shiver runs down his spine before he drops everything and runs toward his car.

----

“I don’t want your excuses, asshole! I want to know why my sister had an accident while working for you!”

Jensen steps back as one of your brothers is ready to beat him into a pulp. “She was not ready to work again…” Mark yells and Danny needs to step between her husband and your brother.

“Mark, we are so sorry. This was an accident…her car and…” Danny stammers as Mark shakes his head.

“No, Danny! She called me, okay. My sister was crying, and…” Sniffling Mark looks at his brothers, not able to keep on talking.

“She called Mark, confused, crying uncontrollably and she told us your best friend just used her only to fire her. Your nice friend lured her into his bed, used my sister and told her she’s a whore. I know Y/N told him she loves Jared and he laughed at her…” Caleb needs to compose himself as tears run down his face.

“After all she’s been through with Scott she fell in love only to get hurt again…” Brad whispers, glancing at Jensen who starts to shake, not knowing what to say he slumps onto a chair.

“I never thought he would do such a thing…” Voice broken Jensen looks at his wife, silently asking her if it’s his fault.

“Did she do it on purpose?” Danny blurs out and Mark, he tries to speak but fails.

“No, Danny.” Caleb chokes out. “She was talking to us and then she asked if she can come home and then we heard a scream and the other car ram her side…”

----

“Y/N, Y/L/N? I got a call, I’m her…” Swallowing hard Jared looks around the hospital. “Boss…no…boyfriend…I…” Panting Jared finally sees Jensen and runs toward his friend, roses in his hands. “Where is she? I got a call…Jensen?”

Jared’s face feels pain a second later as Mark’s fist collides with his left eye. Another punch hits him, this time it’s Caleb breaking one rib before Brad takes matters in his hands and lands another punch to Jared’s jaw.

“I’ll kill you! If my sister dies you are dead, asshole! I know what you did to her! You piece of shit.” Brad needs to hold Mark back, knowing your eldest brother always was closer to you than anyone else.

“After all she’s been through thanks to Scott you come around and destroy all she rebuilt!”

“Get out of here!” Caleb finally finds his voice. “You are not wanted here. Leave and never dare to say her name. You got hurt…boohoo, asshole. My sister got almost beaten to death, lost her baby and got raped by the man she loved…still she tried to help you piece of shit…”

Jared pants heavily, not due to the physical pain, but the realization you had an even shittier past than he had. “I didn't know…” He chokes out but Mark is unimpressed.

“If you want to keep on breathing, leave the hospital and never come back…” Jensen jumps up, not to stop your brothers but to shove his friend away.

“Go, Jared.” Glancing at Jensen and Danny, Jared swallows hard.

“I never wanted to hurt her. I found out about her identity and…”

“We don’t care about your lousy explanations, you piece of shit! Y/N tried to help you and fell in love. You could’ve fired her, not use her to make sure the trauma of being used and treated like she’s worthless comes crashing down on her once again.”

Mark has murder in his eyes as the doctor finally comes to tell your brothers about your condition.

“She’s stable, for now. She has several broken ribs, a broken arm, and a concussion. We are waiting for her to wake up, but so far she didn’t…” The doctor explains. “We run a few tests but you can visit her in half an hour.”

“Thank you, doctor…” Caleb shakes the doctor’s hand, waiting for him to leave before he tries to stop his brother but Mark is ready to kill Jared.

“I’ll count to three and then I’m going to rip you into pieces…” Mark’s eyes darken but Jared won’t budge.

“I will catch hell if I have to but I can’t leave her now…”

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke, @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @strayrosesbloom, @thewinchesterco, @hobby27, @kittycatlover18, @gh0stgurl, @marvelfansworld , @sandlee44, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt, @katpatrova17, @notyourtypicalrose , @heyitscam99, @flamencodiva, @echoesofpassion, @cocklesbelli, @voltage-my2dlove, @fandom-princess-forevermore @thenamelesschibi, @lauravic, @fandomsrourlives, @wittysunflower, @drakelover78, @lemondropirwin, @lonewolf471, @wronglanemendes, @spnhollis, @void-imaginations, @jay-and-dean, @shatteredabby, @juniorhuntersam, @helpmeluci, @neii3n, @goodgodimaweirdperson, @alltimesamantha, @chonisberonica, @supernaturalonice, @stuckys-whore, @shadowkat-83, @officialmarvelwhore, @wecantgiggleitsafandom, @meganywinchester, @shikshinkwon, @miraclesoflove, @yolobloggers, @lu-sullivan, @maniacproffesor, @hollymac79​, @straycuties9​, @kayla-2000, @ilovefanfic86, @gracefultrenchcoat494​, @babygirls-fav​,  @spnwoman​, @amiquette, @linki-locks11​, @geekofmanyforms​, @eggingamazinglove​, @jessica-marsh09​, @spnficgirl​, @shut-themoonscone​, @thequeenreaders​, @countrygal17a​, @kteelou​, @soryuwifeyxx​, @kricketc28​, @atomicfandombomb​, @defenderrosetyler​, @shortwinchester​, @maybesomedaygayyyy​, @tmiships4life​, @deanmonandnegansbitch​, @exo-nova​, @laxe-from-outer-space​, @sabascio​, @that-place-called-middle-earth​, @the-broken-angel-13​, @bunnybaby89​, @pandabiiissh​, @maddiedott​, @fandom-imagines1​, @lilulo-12​, @theoneandonlymelol​, @mblaqgi​, @sea040561​, @clawsandshotguns​, @justsomedreaming​ , @differentstudentrunawaysposts​, @hhiggs​, @deepmuffinspymaker​, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel​, @cassiopeia-barrow​, @mep6811​, @jo-like-josette​, @supernaturalenchanted​, @mscarter213​, @trumpettay​, @waywardbaby​, @its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters​, @zxph-yr​, @i-love-superhero​

Sam/Jared Forever Tags

@moosekateer13, @thevelvetseries

Devils Bargain

@bitchwhytho, @babygirls-fav, @the-soulofdevil, @albinotigerpython, @squirrelnotsam, @i-am-a-mes, @aubageddon91, @jessiejunebug, @thebooksoverthemovies

#spn #spn fanfiction #angst #betrayal #smut #devils bargain masterlist #rpf #rpf fanfic #spn rpf #Jensen Ackles #danneel ackles #Jensen x Danneel #Jared Padalecki #jared padalecki fanfiction #jared padalecki x reader #jared padalecki x you #jared x reader #jared x you #jared x y/n

[michaelgambons]

This is my first ever Drabble/imagine/ fanfic (whatever you want to call it!) so please bare with! It’s set in the UK, so if you encounter any unfamiliar language, places or references, please shoot me a message!

This chapter is intended to set the scene and introduce the characters, but it will get more exciting soon!

Baseline Romantic

Chapter 1

It was pouring with rain as the train pulled into the station. Grimacing slightly against the cold wind that was coming in from the gap in the train door, Y/N turned the collar of her coat up and picked up her bag, ready to hop off the train and made a dash for the nearest cover.

Once off the train and under shelter, Y/N paused slightly before heading for the exit. She bowed her head slightly against the rain, but it still managed to trickle down her neck and a shiver ran through her. It wasn’t just the cold and the wet that was making her shiver, though. As much as she was excited to see her friends, the idea of spending a long weekend socialising was enough to make her take a deep breath to steady herself.

For the last 10 years, without fail, Y/N and her friends had gathered in Charlie’s mum’s house on the outskirts of Peterborough for the August bank holiday. The tradition had been borne out of the boredom of the university summer holidays, during which, when stuck at home, too broke to travel, too lazy to work and keen to return to the freedom of university, they had spent the remainder of their student finance on train fares to spend the long weekend together. Charlie’s mum’s house was perfect for the piss up that ensued; it was in the middle of nowhere so they could play music as loud as they wanted, as late as they wanted, and, crucially, Charlie’s mum spent most of the year living at her boyfriend’s in Surrey. The weekends had become the stuff of legend.

As she stepped out of the station and glanced around for a lift, a horn sounded. Looking around for its source, she spotted a battered Land Rover parked a few meters away, whose driver and passenger were waving furiously at her, grins splashed across their faces. Y/N’s face broke into a wide smile as she ran across the car park to join them.

———

Half an hour later, nestled in front of a roaring fire, gin and tonic grasped in her hand, Y/N had finally started to warm up. She sighed deeply to herself, closing her eyes and allowing herself to relax into the deep sofa, but a sudden roar of laughter brought her back to the room.

‘I’m so glad you managed to come, Y/N’ Catherine said. ‘I can’t believe you were going to put your *job* ahead of spending time with your friends’ she continued with a laugh.

Y/N smiles vaguely. ‘Mate me too’ she replied. ‘Honestly though, it was touch and go right until yesterday! If the shite weather hadn’t meant that the trip had to be cancelled, you wouldn’t have been graced with my company at all’

‘What trip was this?’ Dominic asked, putting down his beer.

‘Urghhh, don’t get me started’ Y/N said. ‘It was the most stereotypical thing ever. I was taking some MP’s on a ruddy fishing trip to talk to them about protecting freshwater rivers’.

She looked round and saw everyone staring at her, unsure whether to take her seriously or not.

‘I’m not joking!’ She said, laughing. ‘It’s as ridiculous as it sounds- I would have had to have worn fucking fishing trousers. Believe me, I’m much happier, and warmer, to be here.’

‘No Dan?’ Misha asked.

Y/N grimaced internally. She was hoping she could have had at least one G&T before she had to answer that question. She didn’t need reminding of the massive argument they had had just before she’d left. Her boyfriend Dan hated these gatherings; hated the fact that they pushed him out of his comfort zone by having to spend the weekend with people who weren’t constantly plotting the next Bolshevik revolution, like he was.

‘I just don’t understand why you like these people, Y/N. They’re all so painfully middle class and you just spend the weekend drinking overpriced wine and eating twattish Waitrose food’ he had shouted as she had packed.

‘You’re being ridiculous Dan’ she had yelled back. ‘These people are as left wing and educated as they come. Just because they don’t sing Red Flag to themselves every morning doesn’t mean that they’re as vapid as you seem to think they are.’

They hadn’t managed to resolve the argument before she’d had to leave for her train. There was, ultimately, no resolution to it. Dan had taken a dislike to her friends ever since he’d met them, two bank holidays ago. He’d spent the evening on the same sofa as she was now sat on, preaching about the Marxist benefits of agriculture. Happy to entertain this for the initial hour, Y/N and her friends had happily joined in. When, 2 hours later, he showed no sign of wanting to change the subject, they had all gradually excused themselves to bed.

‘Ignorant Tories’ Dan had muttered to Y/N as they got ready for bed.

Back in the present, Y/N took a gulp of her drink before she replied.

‘He had some protest I think? He says hello though!’ she said, trying to sound bubbly and casual as she lied through her teeth.

No one seemed to question this though, and the conversation gradually drifted back to what they were going to have for dinner. Catherine, however, caught her eye from across the room, and motioned her outside.

When Y/N joined Catherine outside, she’s shivering under her coat, cigarette in hand, glancing up at the sky and grimacing at the black cloud that is looming over them.

‘So’ Catherine says. ‘Why is Dan really not here? I didn’t believe a minute of that protest bullshit’.

Y/N might have realised that, if anyone was going to see past her feeble excuse, it would be Catherine. Catherine who had lived with her on and off for the last 10 years. The only one of her friends Dan liked and simultaneously the friend of hers who liked Dan the least.

She’d just finished telling Catherine the story, when the backdoor opened again and Ben came into the garden. He stopped as soon as he saw their serious expressions though and gestured back to the door.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt- just wanted a cig. I’ll come back...’

He turned to leave, but Y/N shouted after him.

‘Don’t be ridiculous Ben, it’s not a state secret. Just Dan being a shit’ Y/N said.

Ben smiles sympathetically as he comes over to the two of them. He lights a cigarette and runs his hand through his shocking blonde hair.

‘Actually Ben, you could be useful. Y/N tell Ben the same thing you told me.’ Catherine said.

Five minutes later, Ben had been fully debriefed. Both girls turned to him to see his reaction; he took a drag of his cigarette, brow furrowed.

‘He’s being a complete fucking idiot’. He says, bluntly. ‘Totally disrespectful. You don’t always have to like your partners friends, but you should always make an effort. That’s what being in a relationship is for fucks sake’

Both girls snigger and smile into their cigarettes, opinions confirmed.

‘Catherine?’ Charlie shouts from the kitchen. ‘What am I doing with these courgettes?’

Catherine sighs and stubbs our her cigarette, before walking back into the kitchen, leaving Y/N with Ben.

Ben was the only member of the group who wasn’t part of the original university crew. He had first come to their August break 5 years ago; Dom’s out of work actor flatmate from London who was going through a bad breakup and was in dire need of wine, company and good food. No one else had joined the group before or since, but Ben had slotted in perfectly, and remained a permanent fixture. He was undoubtedly one of Y/N favourite members of the group; down to earth, thoughtful, but with a cruel sense of humour which complemented Y/N’s well. The two could spend hours snorting with laughter at jokes their friends failed to understand.

‘Mate we need to have a SERIOUS chat about your last year’ Y/N said, turning to Ben. ‘We haven’t caught up properly since before Christmas, and you’ve been to the Oscars since then for god’s sake! What was it like?’

Ben snorts into his wine. ‘I’m sorry to disappoint but it was actually very underwhelming. Fucking long and you can’t go out for food or a cigarette’.

‘That is so disappointing. I’ve been rehearing my Oscar acceptance speech since I was at least 10 with a shampoo bottle- don’t tell me it’s not all what it’s cracked up to be’ Y/N pouted.

Ben laughed. ‘What on earth are you winning this Oscar for? Have you switched careers while I was in LA?’

‘Best Documentary’. Y/A answers firmly and quickly. ‘An expose of a corrupt politician where I go undercover as his campaign manager whilst hooked up to a wire. Critics would praise my bravery and unique take on the issue’. She grinned at Ben, who is laughing at her.

‘Dan really doesn’t know what he’s missing’ Ben laughed.

The smile fades off Y/N’s face. Ben immediately realises his mistake and tries to change the subject, but it’s too late.

‘I’m sorry Y/N I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s none of my business. I just... he’s... you deserve better’ he finishes faintly.

‘Dinner!’ Comes a shout from the kitchen, before Y/N is able to reply.

————

Two hours and several glasses of wine later, Y/N finally had finally forgotten about Dan for the moment. She was warm, well fed, tipsy and in good company.

‘And that’ Misha shouts, voice confident with the gin he’s been drinking since lunchtime, ‘is how I ended up as Robert Mugabe’s private pilot’

Everyone around the table roars with laughter. Y/N catches the eye of Ben who is sitting across her on the table. Y/N looks away quickly. She doesn’t want Ben to think she’s staring at him- but it’s hard not to when you’re sat opposite someone as ridiculously pretty as him. Instead she reaches for the wine bottle to refill her glass. When she next looks up, however, she swears she catches Ben quickly looking away from her. She shakes her head slightly to clear it of the wine fog that’s descended on her.

Y/N catches sight of her reflection in the back of her wine glass. Of course Ben wasn’t staring at her. Her curly hair was all over the place after the day’s travel, and her make up had faded and smudged under eyes. Whilst far from unattractive, she’s no where near as polished as the skin thin models he was undoubtedly fucking over in LA. And anyway, she had Dan to think of.

Brushing the thought from her mind, Y/N turned to Cleo who was sat next to her and joined in the conversation she and Charlie were engaged in. Out of the corner of her eye though, she kept Ben in her peripheral vision.

—————

‘Y/N I’ve got a banger lined up for you in a second’ said Dominic with a cheeky grin. He was controlling the music they are listening to in the living room, which they’ve retreated to now dinner had been cleared away.

‘Oh no, what have you got lined up? Cleo moaned.

‘It’s either Baseline Junkie or Rocky Racoon if it’s for Y/N’ Charlie said laughing.

Hearing this, Y/N sat up in her chair, which she had previously been slumped in, letting the conversation wash over her, content but tired by the days events.

~ Hey turn the base off, turn the base off

Big dirty stinking base, dirty stinking base ~

Y/N leaps out of her chair. The group collectively moans and laughs as they watch Y/N sing and dance along to the song- completely out of rhythm but with a huge smile over her face.

She turns to each member of the group in turn, signing a line of the song to them. As she reaches Ben, she realises he is recording her sing, grinning into his camera. Slightly taken aback for a moment at the fact that this would undoubtedly be posted to his million + followers on instragram, instead of stopping, Y/N redoubles her efforts at performing the song into his camera.

As the song comes to an end, she bows into his camera as a round of applause rings out.

She suspects she’ll regret that in the morning

Chapter 2 now out!

————-

#ben hardy #ben hardy smutt #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy x reader

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Inherit the Earth (15x19)

That was somehow simultaneously a crowded mess, and a complete anticlimax. I'm literally just like... super confused and afraid about what the finale is going to be now.

Cons:

Sam's the dog person. That's part of canon. I liked the moment when Dean found the dog, or whatever, but I wish Sam had gotten a moment with the puppy too, before Chuck took it away. A small thing, but one of those typical wrong details in Buckleming episodes, where it just honestly doesn't seem like they know the characters very well.

Lucifer and Michael have a fight in the Bunker and Michael takes Lucifer out really, really easily. So like. Remember when the first five seasons of the show were the buildup to the Apocalypse, and Sam sacrificed himself for an eternity in Lucifer's Cage to stop it from happening? Apparently a fight between the two archangels is just a bit of fisticuffs, nothing to get worked up about. That annoyed me. But I guess consistency has never been something this show has cared much about...

Also just... Lucifer in general, coming back for like five minutes so he can mug at the camera and then be unceremoniously killed? Here's the thing: we had Billie as Death, and she hated them but maybe it would have been interesting to see her and the boys team up to figure out Chuck's ending... but instead, she's gone, Lucifer gets a pointless return, provides us with another Death, who is there for two seconds, says a couple of vaguely funny lines, and then dies... and we still never find out what's in the book.

The fight with Chuck was so badly edited! It was so weird to see him just wail on Sam and Dean, and repeated shots of him hitting them, and them getting up, while he kept saying "okay fellas, enough, please stay down" over and over again. Given that the whole "erasing the people from the world" thing was so much like Infinity War, I kept comparing this fight with God to the climax of Endgame. In that instance, you have a small group of intrepid fighters going up against a big bad evil, and then just at the moment when they're run down and helpless, the whole crowd of friends returns and joins in the fight. Instead of that, it's just Jack showing up and absorbing God's powers, and then they leave him begging on the beach. Not a bad ending for Chuck, which I'll get to in a moment, but the epic-ness was seriously missing from this final showdown.

So, when Jack returned the world to its normal state, did he bring back all of their friends, too? I want to believe this was something that Covid took away from them, where instead of seeing shots of Charlie and her girlfriend, of Donna, Jody, the girls, Bobby, Eileen, they were forced to use stock footage of just random people around the world returning. Would have been cooler to see the epic return... and also super weird that Sam and Dean sit quietly in the bunker talking about free will, and we don't see Sam pull out his phone and call his girlfriend, like... I get not wanting to muddy the ending of the episode with a lot of fallout stuff, and I'm sure we'll get that next week? Like, I hope, anyway? But as it stood for this hour of television, it was super weird to me that the boys didn't immediately want to check on all of their friends to make sure everyone had returned from the dead.

Jack becoming the new God is actually a totally appropriate ending, people were speculating that he'd be the new God or Death or Empty, or some cosmic entity, anyway... and this honestly felt very fitting... BUT, I will say that there are two really, really stupid things about it. One, his "I'm everything and everywhere now" speech was super cheesy... "I'm in the air and the rocks and every drop of rain" or whatever. Such a cliche, I was almost painfully embarrassed listening to him. I honestly would have preferred less is more, here. Like, what if he'd said the stuff about how humans can be their best when they need to be, that was a good line... and then Sam says "what if we want to see you? Grab a beer?" And Jack just says "I'm around" and then vanishes, leaving it vague? I think the idea of a hands-off deity is perfect, of course... makes sense for the "free will wins the day" ending we've got going here, but I didn't think stating it outright was the best move.

The second reason Jack becoming God was rendered kind of comedically awful in the way it happened is... well, elephant in the room, let's talk about how Cas was handled in this episode.

Here's a quote from last week's review:

"I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends."

And... yeah. Look, I know there are people on Tumblr right now saying that this episode being the "brothers only" ending means that next week we'll get Cas back and Dean will confess his love or whatever... but y'all, it's not going to happen. I'm sorry. I'd love to be wrong. If I'm wrong, I will gladly eat crow and celebrate along with the rest of you, but I just... I've been burned before. I know what's going on here, and it's not what you think it is.

Dean was undeniably devastated in this episode. We see him drinking to excess, falling asleep on the floor, grasping onto tiny moments of joy like with the dog and then being furious and upset when they fall through. But that devastation was not textually about Cas specifically. Sure, there were moments, like him telling God to bring everything back, and then namedropping Cas specifically. Or the way he ran up the stairs when Cas' voice was on the phone. But what I'm saying is? Those are crumbs, there for those of us who care to gobble up, easily ignored and subsumed by the larger losses the boys are suffering. Sam is devastated too, guys. About his girlfriend, about Charlie, about Donna, and Jody, etc. etc. etc. Who's to say their grief is any different from one another, even though they're handling it with different coping mechanisms? The "I love you" wasn't even on the "previously on".

Like. There's a universe where Dean does get a moment of Cas-related catharsis in the finale, even though Misha's not coming back. Maybe he has a private moment to grieve just for him, to contemplate that specific loss. But I'm telling you: I don't care if an openly gay man wrote 15x18, I don't care that Misha found it moving. The bottom line is, Cas confessing his love for Dean was the moment of catharsis the show was willing to offer us. We ain't getting much else.

So going back to Jack, why on earth does nobody suggest that maybe when he's popping the rest of the world back to the way it's supposed to be, he also brings Cas back? This is what I'm talking about with contrived sacrifices. Last week, they could have written a way for Dean to get out of that scrape without Cas dying. And this week, Jack's determination to be a "hands-off" God is not enough to explain why he wouldn't restore his father Castiel from the Empty. Especially since Chuck brought Lucifer back from the Empty, proving that God can do that. Even though that contradicts earlier lore but whatever. The point is, I'm saying it's sloppy. Cas' death, Cas staying dead, does not feel like an earned inevitability to me. I'm prepared to eat my words if they bring him back in the finale, but even if that happens (which it won't), he's not going to be smooching Dean Winchester on the mouth, y'all. He's just not.

So then that ending. "Finally free," says Dean, completely unaware that he's echoing the theme from the end of season five but making it hopeful now for some reason? And that end montage felt like an ending 100%, and I won't say it was bad to see it, see all the memories, the characters... I mean, Charlie dancing in the elevator, getting glimpses of Ellen and Jo, Bobby, Crowley... I'm not going to complain about that, it was honestly quite fun, but it also felt extremely anticlimactic and gave us no sense of where the characters are going to go from here. And yes, I know we have an episode next week, it's just...

Here's the thing I'm scared of, and I'm going to go ahead and put it here in the "cons" section because I don't know where it belongs yet. Despite my complaints about this episode, thematically there was one thing it got right: the answer to defeating Chuck wasn't destined, it wasn't in a book of preordained endings. They had to come up with it by themselves, using the tools at their disposal, and they won, and they get free will now, they get the release from having someone else tell their story. Great. So... what does that leave us next week?

As mentioned above, I really don't think the final 43 minutes is going to be an epic gay love story where Dean fights to get Cas back, I really don't. That leaves us two options: either a tepid re-tread of the themes already established, an epilogue of sorts where we just get to see a life in the day, a new normal for the boys. I wouldn't be furious about this, but I also think it won't really feel like closure for me. They just keep hunting? They keep saving people? That's fine, I guess, but they can't really walk back the fact that God is their son, can they? When they die the next time, do they go to the Empty? Who is Death, now? Are Heaven and Hell okay? Are we meant to be convinced that nothing will ever come back to bite them in the ass, they'll live long lives, and a benevolent afterlife is waiting for them when it's over? I'm not convinced I believe in things being that simple, so it sort of seems like the show would end by saying "okay, and more of the same."

The second possibility is worse, though, that being a total status-quo shift, like the end comes and the Empty is after them and they have to become the new Death and Empty as some speculated, or some wild harebrained plot twist gets thrown in at the last second and undoes the actual good parts of the theme established here. I hope for the first, but I don't know that it'll make me happy, to be quite honest. I really don't want it to feel this way, but Cas being gone is the big elephant in the room, for me. It truly is.

Pros:

I did like the earlier parts of the episode, the eeriness and the helplessness of them being alone. Continuing with the Avengers comparisons, it was very similar to the long, slow opening to Endgame, where we see a lot of grief, a lot of helplessness, an lot of directionless moping. That felt appropriate and it made it all the more invigorating when Michael showed up, giving us a spark of direction in which to move.

While I thought the fight with Chuck was edited really strangely and didn't work for me, I did like this ending for Chuck. Very much like the end of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Chuck doesn't die, which he honestly would have found a satisfying, creative ending for his story. Instead, he gets to live on as a normal human, sans powers, and be forgotten. Brutal and appropriate! It ties back into the free will thing. Chuck can do whatever he wants with his remaining time, but he can't steal other people's choices from them any longer. It's the black and the white, the good and the bad, of being just... human. Which ties in with Sam and Dean being more or less hopeful about their outlook moving forward. (God, I'm so fucking scared they're going to screw up the few things I liked about this episode in next week's finales.)

Like I said, I did find Jack becoming God an appropriate ending for him as a character. It's the right type of bittersweet: he's there, and we can imagine that in the future, he does go visit Sam and Dean for a beer. Or maybe he doesn't, and that's okay too. Knowing he's at peace, knowing he's benevolent, and that he'll do the best he can for the people of the world(s). It's nice, a comforting deity instead of a manipulative overlord. And the fact that his benevolence and kindness and compassion are born out of a human mother, and two human fathers, and an angel who embraced humanity with everything in himself... instead of from Lucifer, who tried to create him in his image? Well, that's a lovely resolution for a character that became a surprising favorite over the years.

As I think I mentioned last week, I'm willing to let this show manipulate my emotions here at the end, when it can manage to do so. So yeah, of course I loved that Cas and Jack's names are added to the table along with SW, DW, and MW. Obviously that's adorable as hell. And as I said, the montage worked for me, it was certainly quite lovely. I just... like I said at the start of this, I'm just frankly terrified of what's coming next week.

I mean, here's the thing, I want an ending that honors Sam and Dean as the protagonists of this show, but I want it where they live in the bunker, and Eileen and returned-from-the-dead-Castiel live with them as their partners. If someone told me I couldn't change a thing about what's happened so far, but I could decide how the last episode went, that's how I'd end it. Showing a network of hunters getting support and able to live more stable, reasonable lives while still doing a dangerous job. Sam embracing his intellectual prowess and running things from the bunker, Dean and Cas going out on the road, Sam and Eileen going out on the road, or any combination therein. Jack watching over them benevolently from above. Jody and Donna and the girls living their best lives. Kaia and Claire as a couple, onscreen. A glimpse of a more stable afterlife, now that Jack is there to run things, the confirmation of a peaceful ending whenever our human protagonists do finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Peace, but change, too.

I just don't believe that's what we're getting. I can't believe it, and that makes me really frightened for what comes next week. I'm prepared to be pissed off. Quite frankly, I'm expecting it.

6/10

#review #supernatural #supernatural review #spn 15x19 #spn

[zmediaoutlet]

fic: slow as you can go

This story was written as a commission for @armellin and @jesusonthetortillas, to illustrate this lovely J2 pic Armellin created.

Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: E Tags: Non-AU ‘Canon’ Divergence, Established Relationship, Married Sex Summary: After a convention, Jared and Jensen come home for a brief break. They've earned it.

(read on AO3)

Plane travel will never be Jared's favorite thing—it's probably never going to crest the top thousand of his favorite things—but flying first class definitely makes it better. Actual legroom, for one, and constant booze for another. He stretches out, trying to ignore the constant annoying hum from the engines and the wind against the fuselage, and sips at what may well be his third gin and tonic—but who's counting. Lime and bitter, and it's good, but not as good as what's waiting for them at home.

Thinking of home makes him tip his head to the side against the soft seatback. He smiles. The view in first isn't half-bad, either.

Jensen's sleeping, again. He hasn't shaved all weekend and the stubble's coming in that golden-red color that drives Jared crazy, a little. He doesn't think Jensen's noticed the way Jared likes to run his lips against it, but then again Jensen's pretty observant, about all things Jared, so maybe he has. Doesn't matter either way; it's not like Jared's gonna stop. It's a midmorning flight and most of their fellow passengers are absorbed in whatever high-level business crap they have going on with their laptops, and there's not a flight attendant hovering asking if they need anything. Safe to take a moment and run his knuckles against all that prickly stubble, feel the reverse-grain burn of it against his skin. He really cannot wait to get home.

Jensen makes a soft upset sound, deep in his throat. Whoops. When he stirs into blinking awake Jared makes an apologetic grimace—well-practiced from work, although Sam usually actually feels apologetic and Jared doesn't, right now, not really. Jensen squints at him, clearly still half-gone, and Jared whispers, "Sorry," but he strokes Jensen's jaw again, soft, so it probably doesn't come off as all that genuine.

A beat of Jensen only blinking at him, fuzzy. He presses into Jared's knuckles for the barest second, like a cat, before he scrunches further down in his chair, closes his eyes again. "Keep it in your pants for a few more hours, Jay," he says, scratchy-low. Jared scoffs, and Jensen's mouth turns up at the corners but he's really settled in, going back to sleep for whatever time he has left. Lazy.

Jared sighs, puts his earbuds in. According to the flight map on the seat they've got about eight hundred miles left to get back home. That'll get him through Vs. and most of Vitalogy before he's got to face the real world again, and they'll be a good distraction, will stop him from bothering Jensen before he's allowed. Sometimes he really hates Jensen's no PDA rule, but hell. Doesn't mean he can't make all kinds of plans, in the privacy of his own head.

*

Over the years of flying all over the country—all over the world, now, with the conventions overseas—they've pretty well perfected getting out of an airport in record time, and from wheels-down at Austin-Bergstrom it takes them less than an hour to pull into their driveway. Home's a gorgeous spread on the lake, a long private drive and mature trees all over the grounds. The house is a compromise: Jensen thought it was too much space, and Jared thought the layout was too weird, but the private dock won them both over. Jared's gladder every day that they pulled the trigger, though, and gladder still that they've been able to maintain some semblance of privacy. No Insta-pictures here, no interviewers allowed. Means that when Jensen pulls the Range Rover into the garage there's no one trying to peep in and see what they're doing, no weird fans or photographers to see Jared lean over as soon as Jensen puts it into park and palm his jaw and pull him in and kiss him. Startled at first, but then he smiles against Jared's mouth and kisses back, slow and shallow.

"You've been waiting to do that all day," Jensen murmurs, when Jared pulls back, and Jared shrugs, not denying it. He's been waiting to do a lot more. He drags his thumb over the beginnings of Jensen's beard again, looks at him. The garage's huge windows let in a wave of late-morning light, casts gold over Jensen's eyes, sparks his lashes and stubble golden-red. Shows off his freckles, and the shine on his lip that Jared left. He touches there, a swell of heat in his belly, and Jensen smiles again but catches his hand before he can do more. "C'mon. Let's get this done."

Jared sighs. "Do we have to?" Jensen only rolls his eyes, and kisses Jared's thumb. "Fine," Jared says, "but you owe me."

"Oh, I bet," Jensen says, but he swings out of the car then, too, and Jared's got no choice but to follow. There are things they should do, it's true. And hell, they have today off, and tomorrow too, before they have to fly back to Vancouver. They have time. They've made the time.

Jensen's in charge of sorting out the laundry, because he says that he can't trust Jared to empty the pockets right—total lies—and so Jared takes the time to go through the house, room by room. Saying hello, and checking up, too. They've got paid caretakers, gardeners and Maricela who comes by twice a week to dust up and clean, but it's still their house. Jared misses it, like a dope, when they're gone. Most of the curtains are drawn, by Maricela's habit, and he opens them up, lets all the light in. The living room, the den, the lounge where they regularly trounce Steve at pool, when they actually get to be home. The kitchen, and there the little neat list Maricela left of things she had to buy, things she threw out, and a note that she made salsa and left it in the fridge.

That's where Jensen finds Jared, when he comes back downstairs with a laundry basket. "I see you're hard at work," he says, dry, but he lets Jared put a salsa-laden chip in his mouth anyway, and hums. Damn right. Maricela's tomatillo salsa is worth taking a break for. "Mm, okay," Jensen says, through a full mouth. "Okay, fair. But, dude."

"I'm going, I'm going," Jared says, and caps the salsa back up, promising to get back to it later.

He goes and plugs in both of their phones, and sits in the office with the window open, jasmine-smell pouring in, while he emails their reps. A handful of pictures they each took, to be parted out on their SM for the fans to get excited about over the next few days, and a couple of quotes and stories to write up. Jared gave up control of his Twitter a year or two ago after the last time he had a bad day and was an idiot, and Jensen took his phone right out of his hand and grabbed him around the waist and said, Enough, Jay. Annoying at the time, but honestly, it's so much more relaxing to just be… cut off.

Still, sometimes he does like to see what people are posting. That photographer who's been following them around got some good shots, looks like. He scrolls through the feed. Nice pictures of the ladies—Brianna and Kim have really been glamming it up lately—and he laughs hard enough at a ridiculous cap of Misha that he has to text it over, with no comment, and a minute later gets a brief I hate you in response. He grins, tosses his phone back down to charge, and finally ventures into some of the fan shots in the hashtag. He's trained himself pretty well not to read the commentary—the options seem to be either fawning, which is uncomfortable, or vile, which is what it is—but from what he can't help but see people seem to have enjoyed it. Since they moved in together, some of the nuttier girls have gone off the deep end, but for the most part things quieted down. Now there's just a lot of happy encouragement sent their way. A lot of real, intense messages, too, and questions at conventions he wishes he had a better answer for. If only they'd managed to make it happen when those it gets better videos were going around. It got so much better, he wants to say. Not perfect, because nothing's perfect and never should be, but oh, man. It got a lot better.

"That's a good one," he hears, and blinks back to reality, after who knows how long. The picture on the screen's one of them—of course, one of them—taken by one of the girls in the audience. From the angle Jensen's face is the only one visible, and he looks… Well, really, Jared's the only one who should see him like that. The girls are always clever with their timing, though. Jensen comes up and leans over the back of his chair. "You know when that was?"

Jared shrugs. "Yesterday?" he says, and Jensen flicks the back of his shoulder. It's true, though—on stage everything turns into a blur. They were doing a bit, probably, because they usually are, but they're basically hugging. No PDA, that's always Jensen's rule, but there's no way Jared's not going to hug Jensen, given the opportunity. No matter how earsplitting the response.

"You don't remember?" Jensen says, and Jared looks up, over his shoulder. He's getting an amused look. "So you're just a little shit without even planning it?"

"I'm an enormous shit, thank you very much," Jared says, immediately, but then he remembers. "Oh, yeah."

"Oh, yeah, he says," Jensen says, rolling his eyes, and then shoves Jared's shoulder so the chair spins when Jared laughs. "Yeah, laugh it up. Like I wasn't trying to think about saggy ass and reshoots in the rain when you were just grinning up a storm, shithead."

Jared catches him around the waist, still chuckling. "I really didn't mean to," he says, and it's—mostly honest. Jensen folds his arms, playing irritated, but Jared's been watching him about to break for a gag reel for over a decade now and he can see the cracks. He stands up, still holding onto his waist, and gets right up in his space, looking down, grinning. "Not my fault you're all hot and bothered for my bod."

That gets him a snort, and he leans down and takes a kiss while Jensen's smiling. That was—yeah, he remembers now. Right there, in front of everyone, and he'd gotten to come in close and hold Jensen's body and he'd brushed his mouth against the top of Jensen's ear, and the little sound Jensen made wasn't one the mics would pick up. He pulls back, now, and watches Jensen licks his lips. Tasting them both. God, it's hot when he does that. Jared keeps hold of his waist and walks him backwards, pressing him up against the wall between the signed Pearl Jam poster and Jensen's framed Willie records, and Jensen's eyes are closed, his ears going red, and that's a perfect opportunity to lean in and down and breathe against his ear again, to brush his lips there, to feel Jensen give that full-body shiver that means—oh, yeah. They're on.

"Like that?" Jared says, and Jensen punches him soft in the gut. He says oof, obligingly, but he's smiling.

"Right in front of everybody," Jensen says, looking up. He licks his lips again, his eyes on Jared's mouth. "You know that drives me crazy, Jay."

"Yeah, I know," Jared says, shrugging, and Jensen rolls his eyes, but he squeezes Jared's bicep, too, curves in close, and Jared kisses him again and thinks, well, maybe he'll be in some trouble—later.

They've been together a long time, though. It's not a crazy, heady rush—not even close to their first time, all shock and teeth and shoving, good and painful and intense enough that Jared thought his heart would just beat right out of his chest. Jensen holds his arm, holds him close there against the wall, kisses him soft and lazy. He makes a little pleased noise when Jared scrapes teeth over his lip, tips his nose against Jared's. "Wanna shower," he mumbles, and Jared groans, stands up straight. With Jensen down to his socks, pressed back against the wall, Jared's got the advantage, and Jensen—yeah, that's working for him. Another thing about being together this long: Jared knows exactly how to push every button.

He lets Jensen lead the way down the hall to their bedroom, and then to the huge open bath. "Music?" Jared says, and Jensen shrugs, and so Jared flips through his phone and finds the playlist with the name Jensen hates: funky grooves to fuck to—but the name's accurate. Slow grinds, heavy bass, and when it comes on to the surround speakers Jensen pauses in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt to give Jared a look over his shoulder. Jared only grins and shrugs at him, perching his ass on the bathroom counter, and Jensen gives a sigh but he keeps stripping, so it's all good in Jared's book.

Big window across the back wall of the bathroom, letting in more of that syrupy daylight. They haven't been able to get out much lately and Jensen's skin has gone all creamy again, freckles fainter, except on his cheekbones and hands where they never really fade. He flips on the shower, strips off his jeans, and he doesn't look at Jared when he steps under the water, which is just as well because Jared's pretty sure he's got a dorky goddamn look on his face. Years and years of this and he's used to most of it, even sometimes takes some of what they have for granted. Jensen naked and shining in the sunlight, though, that's—a lot, no matter what. Jensen letting him see, when he used to be almost shy—that's more, sometimes, than Jared knows how to take.

That first time isn't the one Jared thinks about, much. Too much booze in both of them, and too much of a chance for regret. The second time, that's the one he thinks of as their real anniversary. That night, at Jensen's apartment in Vancouver, and the doorman had let Jared up because he saw Jared about as much as he saw Jensen, and that meant that Jared got all the way up there fueled on adrenaline and hope and knocked on the door before he thought that maybe, maybe Jensen wouldn't—that maybe they'd broken something, between them, and putting it back together wasn't in the cards. When Jensen opened the door he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt Jared had given him, and he was wearing his glasses, and the look on his face was—Jared's never forgotten that. That exact moment, right then. What came after was almost immaterial, compared to that single second.

What came after wasn't exactly a hardship, though, and between them they've always been good at this. When Jared steps under the spray and touches all that wet soft skin Jensen doesn't flinch, but only tips backward, knowing Jared will balance him. "What if I just dropped you?" Jared says, and Jensen huffs, turning so the shower scatters over his shoulders.

"You think that'll increase your chances of getting any," Jensen says, sliding his hands up Jared's chest, "go ahead and try it."

It's a great shower, multiple showerheads and plenty of room for two. They pass soap back and forth between them, getting clean-ish, and Jensen spends some time mapping the muscle in Jared's back, his ass, his thighs. In return Jared washes Jensen's hair, just to massage his scalp and neck and feel the way he almost purrs in response, and presses kisses all over his shoulders when he's done. He's always loved this part—broad, undeniably masculine, perfect. "What do you want?" he says, leaning in, and he's really asking. They have all day, they can do anything.

Jensen's hand finds his hip, squeezes. His head tips, and Jared finds the curve of his ear again, kisses at the back of it. Gets another shiver, Jensen's shoulders pressing wet and warm against his chest. "I want it…" Jensen trails off, and shakes his head. He detaches Jared's hand from his waist, lifts it, presses his mouth against Jared's knuckles soft and wet and shocking-hot, and his eyes when they meet Jared's are heavy, dark, steady.

Dried off, laid out on their bed with the music still playing, Jensen leans over Jared's chest and kisses him, open-mouthed and taking his time about it. He's always loved kissing and Jared's come to love it too, even if he always used to think of it as just a preamble when he was younger. Jensen's taught him a lot, over the years. How good it is just to lay together, and how good a silk-blend coverlet feels against his skin, and how the point of his jaw can get almost painfully sensitive when Jensen's hands are buried in his hair, and Jensen's mouth moves there, and his teeth scrape against that open curve of bone. "Jesus," Jared says, squirming like he always does, and Jensen laughs, ducks down and bites at his collarbone instead, and oh, yeah. Things Jared never knew he liked, never knew were even a thing. Jensen squeezes at his dick, heavy already with blood and wanting, but it's not a yanking goad into getting along with things—it's just familiar, almost kind. Hello.

More things Jared didn't know: how much Jensen likes it, that Jared's bigger than him. He pushes Jensen onto his back, after a while of Jensen playing, and rolls in so he's hovering, blocking Jensen from the sunlight, and they're pressed against each other hip to hip but Jared's still got five inches on him—four, if Jensen's lying to the press—and Jensen's already flushed, already hard, all open and ready for it, but his lips part in that fantastic turned-on way, getting Jared above him, and Jared smiles, slides his hand down Jensen's side. Other things Jared didn't know: how much he'd like that Jensen wanted him bigger. "Want to suck my dick?" Jared says, soft, and Jensen's eyes screw closed, his hips flinch up into Jared's, but he breathes out a moan, and Jared lifts up, shuffles up the bed on his knees, and Jensen wraps an arm around his hips and a hand around his dick and sucks it in, practiced, easy. So slick, soft, and Jared sighs and cups a hand around the back of his head to support him and fucks in, shallow but good. Middle-of-the-night whispering, years ago, and Jensen had admitted he liked the way his jaw felt sore, after, and Jared had almost busted a nut just thinking about it—easy enough to indulge Jensen, especially when it feels this goddamn good.

"You look incredible," he says, being nothing but honest. Pink flush over his cheekbones to his ears, streaking down his throat—his perfect mouth broken open over the thickness of Jared's dick—and he opens his eyes, looks up as he slides down as far as he can go, the head threatening his throat, and the slight sheen of tears is just—god, god, how did Jared ever get this lucky? He pulls back, all the way out with his prick gleaming all over with Jensen's wet, the vein gleaming, and Jensen sucks in a deep breath, licks his lips, and groans when Jared slides all the way deep again, and digs his nails into Jared's ass to keep him going.

They've got enough practice that Jared won't come from this, but god is it tempting. A long, slow rut in, and he knows Jensen could take it faster, but that's not how he wants to play it. He pulls out when his nuts start to clutch up for real, and Jensen gasps and holds his hips and says, rasping, "Fuck," and Jared can't do anything but agree. He leans down, dick dragging wet over Jensen's stomach while he finds his lips to kiss them, tasting himself, massaging the sore worked muscle in Jensen's cheeks. "Good?" he says, and Jensen moans, holds him, thighs clutching around Jared's hips when they settle together. He's still hard, harder, pressing thick against Jared's abs, and Jared tries to keep his head clear but it's tough, honestly, when he has Jensen like this.

"Tell me what you want?" he says, lips on Jensen's cheek, at the corner of his eye where tears leaked, when Jared pushed too deep. "C'mon, talk to me, tell me."

"Fucker," Jensen breathes, pressing up into him. "You know."

"Yeah," Jared says, against his temple, "but I want you to tell me anyway."

A game, sometimes. How raw he can get Jensen to be. "Fuck me," Jensen says, voice sore, and Jared laughs, breathless and delighted, his gut clutching up crazily at how good that sounds out of Jensen's mouth.

"How?" he says, pushing his luck, and Jensen pushes at his chest, forces him up so they can look at each other, and Jensen's eyes are nearly black and his lips are battered-red, and he says, "Like this," unexpected and low and soft, his fingers touching Jared's throat, and he says, "I want to see you," and Jared swallows, nods, doesn't have to say anything else.

Jensen doesn't need much prep anymore, and Jared doesn't want to make him wait. Slicked up, he dips his thumb in and watches Jensen's mouth part, and then he gathers Jensen's thigh up against his side and leans in close and pushes his dick inside, blooming past the resistance, going slow, and watches all of Jensen's attention turn inward. They've traded back and forth on this and Jared knows the feeling, that crazy stretch—but oh, from this side, that clutching tightness, squeeze of Jensen's body, feeling him all the way, it's like—nothing else. No one else. "Yeah?" he says, pointless, like he doesn't know, and Jensen blinks, refocuses, sinks his hand into Jared's hair and turns his face away from the sunlight and presses his lips against Jared's bicep, and he mumbles, slow, and Jared takes it like the command it is, and stays buried up close with his heart throbbing in his gut for a full minute before he twists his hips back and presses in again, following the beat of the slow bass playing, a steady pulsing rock. Jensen groans, his back arching, and Jared buries his face in Jensen's throat and does his duty, fucking good and deep and slow, giving everything he can, as long as he can.

The sounds Jensen makes—the smell of him, the sweat between them. Jared keeps his eyes closed, feels his skin, his pulse throbbing under Jared's lips. His balls ache but it's that sweet ache of a good fuck, his muscles humming like he's midway through a marathon. Jensen's got an arm wrapped around his neck, a hand on his chest, his legs clutched up high around Jared's waist, and inside he's melting-soft, broken-open-wet, his dick leaking slick all over Jared's stomach. Slow like this, Jared's not chasing anything and he gets to feel every inch, his skin an oversensitive tingle, hot from his lips to his nipples to his fingertips, overaware of every place they're touching.

Too hot, finally—the sun's sunk down, slicing through the bedroom windows, making the bed a pool of light. "Oh, god," Jared says, sliding a hand to Jensen's hip, squeezing. He rolls his forehead against Jensen's collarbone, humps in and stays there, pressed deep, grinding, so Jensen makes a hiccupy noise keep in his chest. "Yeah, that's it. Come on."

"Fuck," Jensen says, squirming against him, and his legs fall open, his thighs shaking. "Oh, I—Jay—yeah, come on, do it."

Jared drags in a breath, pushes up, finds Jensen red-faced and sweaty, his shoulders and chest shining. "Yeah?" he says, but there's no answer—he shoves in, harder, and Jensen lifts into it and groans, gripping at Jared's ass to pull him in deeper, and then that's—that's it. All the permission Jared needed, and he fucks like he means it, then, long deep in-and-out that's dragging at the absolute limits of his control, but he wants to get Jensen there first—and he's getting there, Jared knows he is, by how his hands clutch and his chest is heaving and how his dick's a dark urgent swell against his belly, dragging between them, a trail of wet spilling down Jensen's side. He balances on one arm and slides careful fingers around Jensen's balls, rubs them warm and tucks them up close against Jensen's body, and Jensen opens his eyes and stares at him, looking surprised somehow in the middle of all this. "Come on, baby," Jared whispers, slipping his thumb over the strained wet root of Jensen's pretty dick, and Jensen grabs at his arm and arches up and comes, finally, spurting all over his soft belly, his body straining and clutching at Jared's and ah, ah fuck, Jared did that for him, Jared made that happen—and Jared fucks him through it, keeps up that same steady pace and nails him right there where he needed it, where he wanted it as long as he could get it, until Jensen's thighs cringe and he presses his fingers against Jared's belly and he makes a low pained ah—and Jared pulls back, out, into cruel cold air for a half-second before he strips his dick as fast as he can go, the visual in front of him more than enough—Jensen sprawled and sweat-soaked and well-fucked, shuddering and sensitive, and his eyes open and his fingers curl against Jared's sides and he says, yeah, give it to me, show me, and Jared shoots over his knuckles, spatters Jensen's hip and the still-thick curve of his dick and his thigh, and Jensen sighs, as satisfied as though it were him who got to come a second time. He reaches for Jared, easy demand, and Jared goes, collapsing down onto the welcome stretch of his body, smearing everything between them, and it's worth it to find Jensen's mouth, soft, starting once again to smile.

#j2 fic #j2 non-au #my writing #commission #please admire the art piece really #it's so soft and good