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#jazz band
mote-historie · 7 months
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Armand Vallée, Ce Qu'on Ne Verra Jamais ... (What We Will Never See), La Vie Parisienne, 1921.
Today there is a strike by the dancers and no-one dances.
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jaubaius · 2 years
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Meowzart with a jazz band
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lemurzsquad · 1 month
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Haikyuu High School Band AU (Karasuno)
I know I've seen this before, but I just HAVE to make my own version of this!!
Haikyuu High School Band AU!! Or at least headcanons on the characters
Starting off strong with Karasuno as a starting point (as much as I want to just do all my favorite characters first TvT), including the entire team and coaches and managers
Please lmk if you want to hear more about this au, and I'm happy to take asks for more headcanons or even story ideas!! (I do plan on writing more and for doing some of the other teams, albeit maybe not with such in depth headcanons and maybe not the entire teams)
(Also, small disclaimer, this is based almost exclusively on personal experience, and a lot of this is based on things that have actually happened to me/in my band gkhsbkj)
Karasuno:
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#1 - Sawamura Daichi
Leadership: Band Captain/Section Leader
Concert: Tuba
Marching: Sousaphone
Jazz: Trombone
I feel like he'd totally play tuba and be in jazz on trombone, as well as being a band captain and section leader for the low brass (or just tubas if the band is big enough). Definitely gets "That's my band captain!!" yelled at him a lot, no matter what he does, and he's totally sick and tired of it. He is single-handedly the only reason the band hasn't fallen apart because he actually keeps close contact with everyone in leadership and makes sure stuff is organized. He also brought back running laps as a punishment, but he somehow made it such a thing that people would just join in pre-marching rehearsal laps.
In concert, he's probably first chair tuba in the highest band and thankfully actually knows his parts and is consistently called on to play shared parts with other sections by himself as an example.
As for jazz, I imagine he might not be in first chair, maybe even being on bass trombone, but he knows his part. Not perfectly, but he knows it well. He's also not the most flashy soloist; his solos are simple and solid and well-thought through (if they're improv-ed).
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#2 - Sugawara Koushi
Leadership: Head Drum Major
Concert: Bassoon
Marching: Flute
Marched flute his freshman and sophomore years before becoming a drum major his junior and senior years. While he tries (sometimes) to be serious and a good example, being in executive leadership, more often than not he's adding flourishes and shenanigans to his conducting whenever he feels like it and stealing Daichi's tuba, sousa, or trombone mouthpieces upon request from the non-low-brass underclassmen who aren't allowed in the low brass room where they're stored.
He also plays bassoon in concert in the highest band mostly because of a lack of bassoon players. Not to say he's bad---he is good at his instrument---but he also didn't have much competition. He's known for walking around the band room with a bassoon reed in his mouth and occasionally crowing on it (or putting multiple in his mouth and being almost as obnoxious as some of the other brass players). He always seems to have a pair of pliers or sandpaper during rehearsals, constantly adjusting his reeds whenever he's not playing---for better or for worse, especially when he overadjusts and doesn't have time to fix it before he has to play again.
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#3 - Azumane Asahi
Concert: Percussion
Marching: Front Ensemble (Mallots)
He managed to fly under the radar in terms of skill level until someone caught him practicing an insane marimba solo for fun when he thought no one else was in the band room. And then obviously he got stuck getting tons of mallot solos, quickly becoming the band's most prized percussionist. He's always terrified when doing solos, especially in front of judges by himself, but is absolutely in the zone when he's performing in concert or marching band, entirely focused on playing and nothing else.
At some point, the pressure got to be too much and he quit band for a year. Prior, he had been assigned primarily to more auxilary percussion instruments, so when he was suddenly expected to be this amazing player after one encounter, he caved and dropped the class. Fortunately, when the underclassmen discovered he used to be a great player, they managed to drag him back, and Takeda happily got him a schedule change to bring him back into band.
Now, he spends a lot of time hidden away in the percussion room, often interrupted by Noya, with headphones on and practicing his mallot parts. The band relied on him, after all, and he couldn't let them down.
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#4 - Nishinoya Yuu
Concert: Percussion
Marching: Lead Snare
Jazz: Rhythm (Drumset)
One of those crazy good percussionists that just seemed to show up one day with an insane talent for drumset and drums in general. While he struggles in concert to read rhythms (often improv-ing them instead, which often gets him a stern look from their band director, Ukai), he has a natural knack for drumset and setting up the jazz band with a solid backing.
In concert, he loves to play the big percussion instruments, like gong, bass drum, or timpanis, but he's content with anything that's loud and stands out (slapstick, flexitone, castanets; if you know, you know). He seems to always be late for rehearsals, usually with a snack, smoothie, or full on fast food meal that he brings into the band room and immediately gets chewed out for for bringing open food into the band room.
He somehow ended up on lead snare for marching despite wanting to play tenors or bass drum because they needed someone with really good tempo and feet timing, as well as skill on the drums, in order to line up with and help the drum majors keep the band in time out on the field.
In jazz, he essentially only plays the drums, having no particular skills on vibraphone or piano. So when rhythm rotates and someone else is on drumset, he often has to sit out if there isn't another set of drums needed for the chart.
He seems to never leave the band room, similar to Asahi, except he doesn't actually seem to do anything except cause problems. If he's not confined to the percussion room, spending time with Asahi, he's on a drumset somewhere in the band room or helping the underclassmen pull pranks (no he definitely was not the reason there were tons of stickers of Ukai's face now being distributed among the band).
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#5 - Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Concert: Alto Saxophone
Marching: Alto Saxophone
Jazz: Alto/Soprano Saxophone
Ah yes, the bane of every band director's existence: that one loud alto sax player. Is he good at his instrument? Yes. Does that make him any less obnoxious? Absolutely not. He practically carries the entire marching alto section out on the field with how loud he plays (for better or for worse) and is constantly told to play quieter, play less aggressive, soften the articulation, just chill out a little bit. He is, shockingly, usually the first to marching rehearsal (sometimes throwing a ball with some others on the field before it starts) and probably the most hyped out of anyone. This does not, however, stop him from being late to stretch block despite being there earlier than anyone.
He is very well known for trying to play every instrument that isn't his. At least once a week, he's trying to convince someone to let him play their trombone, bari sax, trumpet, bass clarinet. Many times has he been lectured by Daichi for playing other people's instruments, especially when Band Plague (tm) is circulating.
He plays lead alto in jazz. It's a miracle they let him play soprano sax in jazz, but they really couldn't pick anyone else that had the same skill for jazz and improv as he had. He and Noya are a duo that should not be messed with or underestimated, especially if they're assigned to the same combo.
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#6 - Ennoshita Chikara
Leadership: Quartermaster, eventually Band Captain/Section Leader
Concert: Euphonium
Marching: Trombone
Getting the instruments right for him was hard, but I could honestly only see him playing trombone and euph. It's kind of a mystery how he ended up as a quartermaster after putting in his leadership application, but him lugging around equipment and setting things up quickly became a very common sight. He proved himself to be extremely reliable, and Daichi would often go to him for advice and to make sure everything was set up and ready to go. When he becomes band captain and section leader, it was very natural; the irony was having two low brass band captains in a row, which isn't the most common sight.
He's probably what would be considered the model band student, which is most likely the reason he is assigned to executive leadership. He's always on time, always the last to leave after helping clean up the band room and put chairs and stands away (that no one else bothers to). He diligently practices his concert and marching music, which does land him with his fair share of solos. He's the best euphonium player they have in the highest band simply due to his dedication. He does, however, seem to have a sixth sense for misbehavior, and he's scared a number of band kids when he suddenly appears just as they're breaking the rules.
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#7 - Kinoshita Hisashi
Concert: Alto Saxophone
Marching: Alto Saxophone
Jazz: Alto Saxophone
Kind of just your average, quiet alto player. The problems lie in who he has to be around consistently: Tanaka. Their lockers are next to each other, and he's always second to Tanaka. He really doesn't mind, he just wishes when the "altos" get yelled at, they would specify "just Tanaka." Fortunately, he's a decent player---albeit often told to play louder on his second alto part---so the attention usually isn't on him very much.
He's often found outside the band room by the vending machine, usually doing homework or chatting with Narita (and Ennoshita if he's not practicing, which he usually is). He prefers to practice at home, so he brings his instrument almost everyday. Even if he is (definitely) a better concert alto than Tanaka, he doesn't bother challenging him for his chair because he knows he will never hear the end of it. Better to keep the peace, he thinks. Second alto isn't such a bad part to play.
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#8 - Narita Kazuhito
Concert: Oboe
Marching: Baritone Saxophone
Jazz: Baritone Saxophone
Another quiet but strong player, he's a very reliable oboe and bari sax player (the double reed to saxophone pipeline is very present). Initially, he never expected to play bari sax after spending middle school playing oboe and alto sax for concert and marching, but when Ukai became band director, he decided they needed more low reeds. So, he ended up picking up bark sax when he joined jazz in sophomore year and really enjoyed it, enough to start marching it.
While he's still second chair oboe behind Kiyoko in the highest ensemble, he does often end up being the only oboe when she switches to English horn for some pieces. He's had to learn a lot in terms of being confident in his part and not leaning on more experienced players. Jazz band helped with this as well given the standard big band only has one bari sax; he can't always rely on having Daichi on bass trombone sometimes to back him up, especially not in sax features.
His locker is actually next to Kinoshita's despite it being one of the massive bari sax lockers, and seeing a tiny oboe case on top of a giant bari sax case is always entertaining. He also probably rarely uses an actual school locker with how much space he has in his band locker (even if he's not there super and they're technically not supposed to store non-band things in there). I imagine he doesn't spend more time in the band room than he has to most of the time---no particular reason against it, he just doesn't see the need to be there.
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#9 - Kageyama Tobio
Leadership: Section Leader
Concert: Clarinet, Bass/Contrabass Clarinet
Marching: Clarinet, Mellophone
Every band has that one person that can play way too many instruments and takes the "give me five minutes and a fingering chart" phrase way to literally. That person at Karasuno is Kageyama. While his primary instrument is---and always will be---clarinet, he picks up other instruments pretty quickly given the chance: piano, saxophone, flute, trumpet, and mellophone in particular. In concert, he is the best clarinet player the band has, which gives him opportunities to play bass clarinet (if they don't already have one) and contrabass clarinet when it's needed, at least when the parts are particularly vital and they need a solid player.
During marching season, he marched clarinet as well, becoming section leader in his junior year. He did, however, start investing in playing mellophone with the intention of going into DCI---essentially professional marching band---when he graduated. While some of the woodwinds gave him flack for starting to learn a brass instrument, they couldn't deny that he did get pretty good at it.
He is always in the band room, practicing or otherwise, and if he's there, then so is Hinata. They constantly seem to be competing about something even though there's no real basis of comparison considering they don't really play the same instruments. This does not stop them, however. Often, they will have to be yelled at to go home and get out by Daichi (and eventually Ennoshita and Yamaguchi) and their band directors so that they can also go home.
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#10 - Hinata Shouyou
Concert: Trumpet
Marching: Trumpet
Jazz: Trumpet
(As much as I loved the idea of giving him bari sax,) I had to give him trumpet because this kid is absolutely obsessed with DCI. He wants nothing more than to be the absolute best so that he can march out there with the best of the best. His playing style is overzealous most of the time, but he has skills built up from years of teaching himself. They are far from the conventional methods of a classical private teacher or band director (since his middle school essentially had no real band class and barely enough to keep the class on the roster). He joined jazz as just another chance to play trumpet during the day and have more pieces and charts to play. Any excuse to be playing.
He is very loud, to the point where his playing is instantly recognizable even from outside the band room. He actually struggles quite a bit to play proper swing in jazz, to Ukai's frustration. If he's ever given solos, it will be on a Latin or shuffle or any chart without a strong swing. In concert, however, he is given almost every trumpet solo under the sun, especially with Ukai picking pieces specifically to cater to giving both him and Kageyama solos and features.
Hinata takes every opportunity to try and compete with Kageyama, to the dismay of everyone around them. Made worse by the fact the underclassmen ended up with last pick of lockers and the only available ones were next to each other, they always seem to be bickering about something. Kageyama had tried to ignore it, but eventually gave into the competitive spirit, and both are known to be constantly practicing to show up the other. Every cracked note is met with a perfectly in tune melody, and every solo is met with a perfect rendition of the background part.
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#11 - Tsukishima Kei
Concert: French Horn
Marching: Clarinet, Mellophone
Arguably the weirdest combination of instruments, he prefers to play a few instruments that he can get really good at than be like Kageyama who is very good at a couple and pretty okay at a handful of others. He never really showed insterest in leadership, preferring to focus on himself. Being in the highest band, especially in first chair, means he constantly has to see Hinata and Kageyama, but he doesn't mind as much since Yamaguchi is also there. Why he started marching clarinet as opposed to mellophone is a mystery to most, although Yams will claim it's because he didn't want to have to hold up a brass instrument out of the field so his arms would hurt less.
Unfortunately, marching clarinet meant he had to be around Kageyama, but as long as they didn't have to sit next to each other in concert band, he was fine with being in the same section out on the field. Until Kageyama became section leader and gained some level of authority over him, which led him to switch to the standard french horn alternative: mellophone. Some called him petty, but he just shrugged it off.
His indifferent attitude---and the fact that he never seemed to be in the band room---might have led to assumptions that he didn't care, but others were not aware of the personal french horn he practices on regularly at home, away from the prying eyes in the band room. He opted, rather, to use a school-owned horn in class, only bringing his own for concerts (not that anyone paid enough attention to notice aside from his own section, but they want nothing to do with any backlash from anyone for revealing this).
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#12 - Yamaguchi Tadashi
Leadership: Uniform Staff, eventually Band Captain/Section Leader
Concert: Tenor Saxophone
Marching: Tenor Saxophone
While entering high school as a perhaps below average tenor sax player, he managed to distinguish himself as a very perserverant player by the time he got to his junior year. Rather than relying on natural talent, he put in the work to get to be one of the top saxophonists---not the best, but he was certainly not to be looked down upon. Especially when he made up for what he lacked instead with his leadership skills. He practically redefined the role of uniform staff (a role that initially just meant "know how to fold uniforms and check that they're put away correctly") into something that actually took initiative in managing uniforms and allocating duties.
If anyone had met him in his freshman year, they would never have said he would become such a good leader or player, but he became that regardless. He and Tsukki tended not to spend excessive amounts of time in the band room until their senior year when Yams had to be the first there and the last to leave as band captain, so Tsukki often assisted and stayed with him so he wasn't by himself once the other section leaders had left.
He actually made it a point to learn bari sax and bass clarinet (at least in terms of knowing the basics and how to transpose from concert pitch to Eb and vice versa) to be a better low reeds section leader. He may seem sweet, but he has more than earned the respect of his band---and there is a reason they don't mess with him because it can never end well. It's also how the band room is spotless by the end of every day.
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Shimizu Kiyoko
Leadership: Librarian
Concert: Oboe/English Horn
Marching: Front Ensemble (Keyboard)
Jazz: Rhythm (Piano/Keyboard/Vibraphone)
The absolute model student and kid in band (not to be confused with a band kid). She plays oboe and English horn in concert, but her skills from years of piano lessons still landed her on piano parts. As a librarian, she constantly organizes and finds music and makes copies for all of the bands for the band directors and even occasionally the orchestra; when Yachi also became a librarian, she did her best to train her, and they were able to split up the workload much more reasonably.
She is easily the best oboe player not just in the school but the county. Oboe and English horn solos are commonplace in the pieces that are chosen for the highest band specifically for her. In jazz, she typically plays piano or keyboard but branched out into vibraphone when percussion did their instrument rotations. In marching, she stands in the front, headphones on, playing keyboard with the rest of the front ensemble.
Despite not being on executive leadership, she is still well-respected and very rarely left out of the loop on important issues and discussions, being a somewhat honorary member of upper leadership.
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Yachi Hitoka
Leadership: Librarian
Concert: Flute
Marching: Flute
Jazz: Trumpet, Flute
Poor Yachi, she was not ready for how intense Karasuno's band would be and how seriously they take the program. But she quickly got used to it, practically adopted into the main group, namely when she joined jazz after her first year and became a librarian. Since there typically isn't a designated flute player in a big band set-up, she opted to learn trumpet with the help of Hinata when he found out she joined the lower jazz band as a beginner. With his help, she got to be a decent intermediate player, occasionally playing flute on the off chance a chart called for it in the instrumentation.
She became more outgoing slowly but surely, somehow suddenly ending up with friends and acquaintances in almost every section and ensemble---Kiyoko thinks it's because the boys are rubbing off on her. Becoming a librarian also really helped in learning names and faces so she can get music and dot cards to the right people. By the end of her time in high school, it seemed that everyone at least knew her name or face with how much time she spent in the band room doing homework, helping out band kids and the band directors, and keeping everything organized.
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Takeda Ittetsu
Position: Assistant Band Director, Orchestra Director
Teaches: Orchestra, Symphonic Winds (2nd band), Music Theory, Jazz Band (lower)
Instrument: Cello, Trombone
Band was certainly not his first calling, considering he played cello in high school. When the previous Director Ukai retired, Karasuno struggled to find another teacher to replace him, thus their orchestra director took the place for a time until he managed to track down the current Ukai. With the extent of his experience with band being the instruments he learned for his degree in Music Education, he struggled, to say the least. But with the help of the students and other staff members (and the temporary band director that filled in for a while), he made it work the best that he could. He did start to get better at trombone (the wind instrument he enjoyed the most in his college music ed classes) so he had at least some band experience.
He did a lot for the program in terms of finding places and gigs for them to perform at, adding more marching competitions to the schedule and finding more performance opportunities for the bands and individuals. Despite the couple of years of transition that led to the band program losing many members, especially experienced players who graduated, it was eventually built up again.
After he brought Ukai on board, he had more time to invest in the orchestra program like he had before while still teaching the middle level band, the lower jazz band, and the Music Theory class. His insight on and relationships with the band members was invaluable, however, to help make decisions on leadership and ensemble placements.
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Ukai Keishin
Position: Head Band Director
Teaches: Concert Band (3rd band), Wind Ensemble (1st band), Jazz Band (upper), Percussion
Instrument: Trombone, Euphonium
It took a lot of convincing for him to get on board with becoming a band director, but it was one of the best things that could have happened to Karasuno. Having a solid band director who had lived and breathed band when he was younger (and a father who was the previous band director at that very school for many years) was exactly what the program needed to finally rebuild. He may not be the best conductor or organizer, but he does pick challenging and achievable music to push the bands to be better. The jazz band in particular soared, many joining to get a taste of its success under new leadership. Despite not getting to choose leadership the year that he joined (that being established the year prior), he was not afraid to keep a tight reign over those that were not doing what they needed to in their positions.
Through high school, he played trombone, being a skilled jazz and concert trombonist. He picked up euphonium for concert band in late high school and college and for some community ensembles he joined. He is also very knowledgeable of marching band, helping write one of the best shows the band had had the chance to perform in years.
He teaches the lowest and highest bands as well as the top jazz band and the percussion class. Takeda makes it a point to get him to organize joint band and orchestra events in order to bring the programs closer, specifically having a full orchestra (something students from both always asked about and looked forward to) and concerts where they both perform. The jazz band also got many opportunities for gigs and other performances, and the wind ensemble got chances to be a showcase band at band events and camps on more than one occasion. Parades were also events they got chances to perform at because of him (and Takeda's persistence, of course).
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Thank you for reading!! <3
If you'd like to add to this or share your thoughts, please lmk!!
Do not copy and/or repost!! Any likes or reblogs are appreciated, though! (c) 2024 LemurzSquad
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detroitlib · 10 months
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Hank's Kentucky Jazz Band on stage at the Hotel Ellwood in Detroit, Michigan. Six of the seven members are sitting down, man on right is standing with his cello, man holding long knife in the back left, upright piano in back, drums, trombone, clarinet, violin and cello are instruments used by the band. Handwritten on front: "Hank's Kentucky Jazz Band, Hotel Ellwood, Detroit, Mich. Jackson Photo."
Harvey C. Jackson Collection
Burton Historical Collection, Detroit Public Library
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MD: Do we wanna tune?
Trombone 1: Why start now?
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cesar-the-salad · 7 months
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As a jazz band kid, I can confirm that this is 100% true.
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chicinsilk · 2 months
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Marc Bohan for Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 1961 Collection. Viscountess Jacqueline de Ribes wears "Jazz Band" a black silk cocktail dress with a "roaring twenties" look.
Marc Bohan pour Christian Dior Collection Haute Couture Printemps/Été 1961. Vicomtesse Jacqueline de Ribes porte"Jazz Band" une robe de cocktail e nsoie noire au look "années folles".
Photo Luc Fournol/Pierre Derly
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secret-tester · 7 months
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Hello! Since you play saxophone......
What is ur fav kind of saxophone (if u play more than one) and what kinda band you play in???
What advice u give to future musicians?????
Hello Anon!
Well I play the Tenor and Alto Saxophone but I like the Alto more.
I am in three bands:
Symphonic, Jazz and Marching band.
The advice I give to future musicians is that you will NEVER learn every corner of music. Its a procces that will keep on going FOREVER! Thats why music is called art!!! It goes on and on and on and on...
When you pick up that sticks, bow, insturment, or whatever kind of insturmemt you are going to play... Play it with your heart. Play it with FEELING!
If you mess up, keep going! You dont have to worry about what the others hear! The audience might not even notice and think its part of the song...
I know I just gave more than one advice but here is one that is the most important of all...
Have fun.
Your music or band teacher might tell that band is for hard workers and they do have a point but have fun. Have fun making music!
I wish you luck on your road of making music...
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oldvintageglamour · 2 months
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The International Sweethearts of Rhythm in uniforms during the United Service Organization (USO) tour, 1945
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d0geggz · 7 months
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i feel like simon would have been a band kid in high school (specifically i feel like he would've played keyboard in marching band and drumset in jazz band) but idk if that's just me projecting or not
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cryptidfagswag · 11 months
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Band is over for the year and I'm sad, here are all of the quotes I've gathered from it (long) (very long) (contains sex jokes)
I've got myelin on my jeez-o-pete
Ohp- that's not how you put pants on
Great sound! but the battery died :(
Low brass, can you count to six?
Who won the race? not the band
Let's go swimming, no I might die
You're just eating flour now. Mmmm delicious, I'm choking
Why are you thinking about his cock? Thats not very "I like women'' of you
You do everything he says, he's got this big ass knife
Shit me, fuck me, stick me in a can
You're good with that?
I mean, yeah, I know how to use an elevator-
*carrying chimes up the stairs,*
Don't mind me, just a fairy
Festive, super festive, like Santa threw up
They will not be held responsible unless they stab you directly with a sea urchin
What kind of pie?
Pie!!!
Put your bongos away Noah, you delinquent
Nah I like my men with nice tits
Can you feel it, the rays of sunshine, joy, fear
Hey, it's kinda hot up here. It's not really, I just want you to take off your clothes
Anyone want…plugs
If you can suck a mouthpiece, you can suck a dick
That shits gonna kill you
That's the point
Chicken pot?
Pie!!!
Causes microwave issues
C'mon, fuck me in the ass. With a condom, don't forget that part
How are you today
Pretty fucking horny
See, now I know you're gonna hide
But you don't know where
I'm sticking my penis places it shouldn't be. Like the meat grinder. I'm making sauce, making it saucy
Let's play happy!
Oh, I am not happy anymore
Industry baby!
Everybody just started sobbing, you cannot think this is a good idea
He took, no, he took his skin and fed it to his family, he's a good luck charm
When I die, I wanna get cremated and put into a blunt
Ah, fuck me
Was that an invitation?
Was that an offer?
Contrary to popular belief, I am in fact a bottom
Murder hornets all over those clarinets
Sweet Caroline, fuck my ass
There's nothing inspiring about your digga-digga-dahts
Oboe- gods gift to the woodwind section
It's not a gift, it's a a hazard
Oboe, more like oh no
I just burped on the snare
What the fuck-
Just thought I’d let you boys know
Look, a Lowe's! We're gonna build a wall!
Poom poom
Beacon no, we promised we'd stop
I'm the recessive trait hiding in your phenotypes
I'd make out with you in a Denny's parking lot, and I'd suck your dick outside and IHOP
Do you have a shitty pancake restaurant kink?
Ok no, if you got a worm, and fried it in cheese, it would be exactly like a cheeto
Honestly I would eat a worm raw
Ohp you're too tall, I decapitated you
Friends, colleagues, fucking rat bastards
He dropped his euphonium on my tuba once. Well, not my tuba, if it was my tuba I would've murdered him.
We need an instrument. Aha! So, a clarinetist walks into a bar- no-
Where did you even get that?
Theft? I don't know
Babies aren't supposed to be that cute, they're like, all mushy. There's too much skin and not enough surface area
The guy with the bottle of rocks looked like he was having fun
Silas is in the shit container
Honestly I'm just really tired and really horny
A balloon fetish, like, do you stick your penis in a balloon
Dude if a worm looks at me, I will cry for like, two hours
Dad, where do babies come from? Mmm storks
I could fight someone with my cheeks and win
Do you need lungs to play the trumpet? No
Sorry I can't come to band today, my pigs are giving birth
I'm straight but I too would offer my hole to him
Wyatt put your trumpet mouthpiece in this
Do not put your trumpet mouthpiece in this
Vape? Nah, half a clarinet
Have you seen gus?
Oh he's over there getting molested by his mustard yellow friends
I can't wait to get to Hawaii and say 'bonjour, mexico'
It burns my mouth like a hot pocket from hell
I am shiny, fabulous, and full of syrup
I had to manhandle my English muffin
Stop crying, start smoking
I like the humidity. Makes me feel moisturized. Like I'm being licked by the atmosphere, everywhere on my body
No I would like to sex him with considerable vigor
Don't you wanna climb up those mountains, it looks so appetizing. Gonna slurp up those clouds
Oh is that nice on your cute little patoots
Anyone got weed up there?
Yeah! Do you want me to just, like, toss it down?
I remember you, you were useless
Penguins, cause they have toes. That's gonna go well
Let loose and defenestrate
I like it, you look like a stripper
I want to vomit with gusto, with enthusiasm
I am actually a trained exorcist
I like that in a man
That did considerable hurt upon me. I did not like that
They went spearfishing together, that's the gayest shit I've heard all week
Who would win, Scheels or an orca
As in, dressing up in a dinosaur costume and fighting Elvis
We say 'here's the tune,' and then we all just scream for six minutes
Damn girl, what those knees do
Hold on a minute, im sacrificing a freshman to the old gods
No, no, come back, i'm getting sacrificed
I've heard you play, you sound scrumptious, you sound slaylicious
Isn't today a special day to be a third trumpet
No, part of my personality is I'm just having an existential crisis, all the time
That's not smoke on the water, that's I smoked too much
I want to be the justice, wrath, and love of God all at once
He has his masters in going hee honk
Do you like country? Well you're about to find out
He drives like a maniac with his colossal biceps
How do you do the alphabet? It's complicated
Why did you touch your toes like that?
Because we're thermostats
I don't want to know your name, I like our relationship the way it is
You have no business wanting my skin
I will feed your sun dried bones to the old gods
Mack, what time do we get out?
Like, 10:40
What time is it?
10:22
Jesus balls
Violence is not the answer
But cannibalism is
Our churches are all, like, old Walmarts
Shake that bagpipe? Yes please
Everyone's days are numbered
Your number is significantly lower than the average american
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like-this-post-if-you · 2 months
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Like this post if you've been in or are currently in a band
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pit-crew-chronicles · 9 months
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Me, frozen and fingers twitching tapping my foot.
Safety tech and human player’s sister: what are you doing.
Me: middle school jazz band flashbacks.
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wildwillflower · 6 months
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We’re working on jazz band today.
I am a percussionist.
I have nothing to play for jazz band.
I am sitting in the corner.
With nothing to do.
I am moral support.
Yet I lack morals.
This is band.
Whatever shall I do?
Only the gods of the band hall know.
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music-class-quotes · 10 months
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band director: how was everyones 21st night of September
band director: i kinda hate myself for making that joke
percussionist: technically it was my 501st night of September
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I’m so glad that the 1 brain cell that the whole trumpet section shares has clocked out today
- Tenor sax
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