#jake debrusk fic
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A (Dark) Knight In Shining Armor
Hey y’all! I apologize for the inactivity regarding my works being published, life has been hectic and all and so I hope you all are doing wonderful. I have a lot more story ideas brewing inside of my head, and so I hope you guys enjoy this one for now in the meantime, a Jake DeBrusk comfort filled with some angst, but of course, with soft sweetness and joy. Title is inspired by Batman's nickname "Dark Night", and perhaps that one JD wore a Batman costume. But in all seriousness, I hope you all enjoy this fic, and take care of yourself!
Pairing: Jake DeBrusk x F!Reader
Word Count: 3.8k
Warnings: Angst, Abusive Relationships (not with Jake), Verbal Abuse, Breakup (not with Jake), (Let me know if I need to add anything!)
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“Just get out of here! I don’t want to see your face or hear your voice right now.” His voice was harsh, words laced with hate.
Frozen in fear, she stood there, unsure of what to do under his hostile stare, burning at her skin. It was all too familiar, the shouting, the yelling, the tension tearing her heart into scraps on the cold kitchen floor.
He slammed his fist against the kitchen counter, shaking the dishes and cups. “I said get out!” Poison seemed to drip from his tongue, corroding the ground.
Tears welled in her eyes as he shouted, her heart slowly crumbling and falling, and hope dissipating, dissolving into nothingness. The tears never fell though, he would shout again, that irritating noise that only seemed to remind her why she felt resentment.
She couldn’t take it anymore, all the arguments leading to nowhere, all the small disagreements building up to a broken cathedral that could no longer be restored.
As she walked to the door, she grabbed her coat from the hook near the door, tension tight in her shoulders, almost ready to snap. She looked back, hopefully for the last time her heart told her, and saw him sitting down at the dinner table now, his head in his hands. Whether it was in anger or shame, oh she hoped it was shame, she didn’t want to stay a second longer to find out.
Reaching for the doorknob, she turned it quickly and left, locking it behind her as she did so. It was out of habit, a mindless action, but this time, it felt like there was an intent to make sure he couldn’t follow after her.
The rainy downpour of Boston greeted her, snow seemingly no longer existent during winter, and yet the icy chill was still colder than ever.
As she walked down the street, she tried to figure out a way to get home back to her apartment, which was unfortunately across the city. She hadn’t moved in with her boyfriend yet, but now she didn’t even want to any longer.
Pulling out her phone, she thought of calling her roommate to pick her up, but then she realized that her roommate was out of the state with family. She let out a huff of slight annoyance, or more of inconvenience at herself for forgetting about her roommate’s whereabouts.
Her mind raced as she quickly tried to scroll through her contacts list, searching for the one person she knew that would pick her up from anywhere, no matter the hour nor conditions outside.
The tone of the phone hummed as she waited for him to pick up, her hands slightly shaky due to the cold. She hoped, prayed that she wouldn’t be sent to his voicemail box, a no answer.
“Hello?” His groggy voice echoed through the phone, as if he had just been woken up. “Is everything alright? It’s pretty late in the night,”
Guilt swirled around inside of her, not only for waking him up from his sleep, but also in the fact that she wanted him to pick her up.
“Yeah, I’m alright…ish, listen I just need a favor from you, Jake,” she trailed off.
The sound of his bedsheets ruffling could be heard from him, most likely him sitting upright in the bed. “Are you out in the rain right now? Do you need me to pick you up?”
“Yes please.” A sense of relief washed over her. “Only if it’s not a hassle though—”
“It’s never a hassle. Your safety matters.”
She could hear the sound of his keys being picked up from, what she assumed was, his bedside table, followed by his footsteps down the hall.
“Where are you by the way?”
Looking up from her phone, rather nervously, she observed her surroundings, which was slightly difficult in the dark rain. “Just a block away from his condo, near the corner shop.”
The engine of his car seemed to rumble through the phone, defensive and almost angry. “Don’t hang up until I get to you, wanna make sure you’re safe,”
Tears started to form in her eyes as she heard him speak those words, knowing that he held true emotion and genuineness behind it. “Mhm.” Her voice wavered slightly, and she knew that he could recognize it, even through the phone.
It was something so simple for him, and yet it meant a lot to her, especially since it seemed like her boyfriend had hardly put any effort in recently.
She knew a relationship with two busy adults wouldn’t be constant attention and affection, but it seemed like as of late, he’d hardly acknowledge her feelings and thoughts, just another person he knew.
Her vase in her kitchen remained empty, flowerless. Time to her was hardly given, delivered texts, no response, radio silence. And yet, he would lash out at her with foul curses if she damned herself to respond a little later than she could, few hours at most.
As she was lost in thought, the sound of a car pulled up in front of her, the raindrops pelting the hood of the car almost like hailstones.
“Get in!”
Through the phone, she could hear his giggle, which in turn, caused a small smile to appear on her face as she opened the car door, sliding into the passenger side. It seemed to lighten the mood, but only just a bit.
Ending the call on her phone, she stuck it into her pocket and put on her seatbelt. “Damn, DeBrusk, take it easy,” she let out a small laugh, just before the feeling of emptiness sunk inside of her, reality seeping in.
The rain seemed to continue endlessly as he drove, tapping on the car’s windows, reminding her of the long road trips she took when she was younger, seemingly more free. But instead of banter and laughter, silence filled the air, no radio-top-forty-hits playing, no conversation, nothing.
It was odd, looking over at Jake and seeing him so, tense, hands gripping the wheel rather tightly, completely different from the energy that seemed to be only moments ago.
“Did he hurt you?” The suddenness of his voice breaking the silence made her jolt in her seat slightly, in which he let out a small apology for.
“No.” Her words came out rather defensive without the intention to, but she quickly tried to clear up any possible assumptions. “All he did was yell at me,” she whispered, not wanting to think about it for too long.
“That’s not any better though.” He let out a sigh, his worry not easing by the minute, evident in the tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel. “He needs to treat you better, you deserve better,”
“Sorry,” she said quietly, head bowed down shamefully.
He glanced over at her as they stopped at a red light, just noticing how really disheveled she was. “It’s not your fault.” She looked up at him, hoping that he really meant it. “It never was your fault,” he whispered, delicately.
The gentleness that he held, offered purely raw straight from his heart, seemed to captivate her, entrance her, lull her into a sense of safety that she was hardly familiar with.
And just then, the traffic light switched to green, much too soon, and they began getting closer and closer to her apartment, buildings nearby becoming more and more recognizable.
It seemed as if Jake knew this route by heart, each turn and curve of the road, every traffic signal and exit, and he did. Boston felt like a second home to him, and even more so when he was with his best friend, with her.
A short while passed, and he stopped his car at the front of her apartment, which, fortunately for him, was only a few blocks away from his.
Rain continued to tap against his windows, more gentle than before, and they both sat there in silence, attempting to soak in the calmness. However, it was still evident that he was tense when she looked over at him, observing his tense shoulders, unrelaxed posture.
“Thank you so much for picking me up, Jake.”
He looked over to her, snapping out of his lost gaze to nothingness. “You’re welcome, always.” His voice seemed to be filled with some sort of uncertainness.
She picked up her bag, pulling out her keys to unlock her door. “I’ll head in now, and I’m sorry for holding you up and calling so late.”
“It’s never too late, I promise you,” he said, holding up his pinky. She held her own up, and locked hers around his.
Smiling at him sweetly, tears slowly formed at the corner of her eyes again. “Thank you, again.” Her voice seemed to crack ever so slightly.
He nodded and smiled back, just as sweet, “You’re always welcome, whenever, wherever.”
Reaching her hand to the handle, she gave him another smile as she looked back at him, his eyes soft with warmth, and yet she could sense that he was worried about her, never at ease as of late.
When she opened the car door, the rain could be heard pouring heavily, drops splattering on the concrete ground rapidly. She left quickly, closing the car door as she ran to her front steps, puddles splashing beneath her feet.
When she looked back just before she went inside, out of habit, he was still there, sitting in his car.
His window rolled down, and his voice could be heard. “Get inside! I’m not going until you’re in!”
Giving him a quick nod in response, she unlocked her door, and moved herself inside, the warm air welcoming her, a contrast to the wet, rainy outside.
After she closed the door behind her, she hung her coat on a hook nearby, along with her keys and bag. Sleepiness crawled up on her as she lay down on her couch, hoping to rest her eyes for a brief moment.
Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, a message from Jake popping up on her screen.
You’re safe, right? - Jakey
Yes I am
Thank you so much once again, get home safe
No prob :) - Jakey
Exhaustion made it difficult for her to stay awake for longer, eyelids feeling heavier with each blink, and so she moved herself from the living room to her bedroom, falling asleep as soon as she hit the bed.
Sunlight crept into her room when morning came, and her bed felt cozier than ever. The blankets were just as soft and warm as a hug, never wanting to let go from it, and her limbs remained cozily entangled under the covers.
She continued to lay there for a bit, soaking up all the beaming sunlight that poured into her room. It was quiet and still, aside from the usual Boston traffic outside in the street, and her thoughts were still slightly fuzzy having just woken up.
Memories of the night before started to linger on her mind, the argument, leaving his place, being picked up by Jake, it all seemed so frantic and rapid with no clear timeline.
Hours had passed after she had gotten ready, and she was sitting in a coffee shop awaiting his arrival.
She didn’t want to have it come to this, a sudden ending for her relationship, but it felt like it had been gone for a long time now. The relationship felt like a shell of what it was, and there was no longer devotion to something that wouldn’t devote back, a lack of effort and care that tasted bitter with each passive remark she heard.
The little bell above the coffee shop door chimed, and without even looking up from her drink, she could tell that he was there. It became a sixth sense to her, the feeling of unease and tension rising in her when he was nearby.
He sat down across from her, calling out her name like it was a curse on his tongue.
“Hello?” He waved his hand in front of her. “Jeez, are you still tired?” He scoffed. His passive aggressive remarks were all too familiar to her.
Blinking at him, she returned her focus. “Sorry, no.” She let out a light laugh, nervousness evident. “But there is something I want to talk about,”
He looked at her with a glare that could only be described as intimidating, but she knew better than to show that it was working. She was safe here, he couldn’t shout or yell at her out in public like this.
“I think that it would be the best for the both of us to part ways,” she spoke smoothly, despite her hands fiddling with her drink. “After last night—”
Last night. Cold. Dark. Unforgiving even.
“I realized that we both need some time and space to grow,” she continued.
Swallowing a lump in her throat, she was unsure of what to say now, having said all she needed to say.
“What do you mean?” His tone was harsh, a cousin to the one from the previous night, reminding her of it.
“I mean that we need to break up.” It sounded a lot more blunt when she said it out loud, but it was the truth. “I have nothing against you though—”
She was quickly cut off by the sound of his chair being pushed into the table aggressively as he walked towards the door, a few people’s heads perking up and trying to see what the commotion was.
Her face heated up in slight embarrassment as she sipped her drink, eyes of the others peering at her, awaiting for a reaction, but she stayed put in her seat.
The days from then on seemed to pass by like a blur, fuzzy and faded, but eventually, the days became clearer, the sun shining brighter than before. She felt a sense of freedom, having blocked all of his contacts and any form of communication, and she could finally breathe.
Her friends, Jake specifically, noticed that her eyes seemed to shine brighter, her smile more vibrant, and her laugh more pure, even in the darkest of rooms.
Their friends were all at a restaurant in downtown Boston together, catching up on old and new times over food and drinks, talking about whatever they could before they had to depart, going back to their own lives.
She was sitting next to Jake, his arm slung on the back of the seat behind her as they talked to their friends together. Warmth seemed to radiate from him, a contrast to the chilly evening air, and so she leaned towards him a bit.
He looked at her, noticing her shifting closer to him. “You cold?”
“Just slightly, it’s alright though—”
Taking off his jacket, he draped it over her shoulders, the thick material blocking out most of the cold air.
A few of their friends at the table gave them a knowing look, a soft flush appearing on his neck and cheeks as he kept her close to him.
As the night went on, the group began to wind down, a few friends leaving with hugs and well wishes at a time. The restaurant began to empty, and so the ambiance was much more serene and peaceful.
When she looked up at him, the soft glow of the overhead lighting seemed to shine perfectly on his face, emphasizing his gentle scruff and soft eyes.
He looked at her, noticing how drowsy she seemed.
“Should we head home?”
The words came out of his mouth so smoothly, she would’ve assumed that he meant just his place, but she knew that by the end of the night, she would be asleep in her own bed.
“Yeah, that’d be good,” she hummed.
They both got up from the table and headed out the restaurant shortly after he gave a tip to the wait staff, the cold air greeting them as they walked to his car.
He opened the passenger side door for her, a simple gesture that seemed to make her face warm up in a soft blush, butterflies starting to form in her stomach.
“Thank you, Jake,” she said, smiling softly.
He smiled back at her, so gently it seemed, “My pleasure,”
All of his affectionate actions, words, gestures, it all seemed to come naturally to him tonight, like cupid had made the stars align for him.
Once he got into the driver’s side of the car, he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, the streetlamps and city lights passing by as he drove the both of them down the road.
An idea sparked in his mind, something slightly different than a normal trip back home. “You don’t mind if we take a longer route to get home right?” He glanced over at her, searching for a response in her facial expression.
She remained calm, soft, the feeling of being safe when with him more prominent than ever. “I don’t mind at all,”
He smiled at her words, a warm feeling bubbling in his chest.
“I wouldn’t mind spending the entire night with you ya’know?” she quietly added, eyes focused on the twinkling lights out on the streets.
Her words made him slightly awestruck, leaving him without a proper response to her. His face started to have a slight rosy tint again, a soft blush dusted on his cheeks.
“Yeah,” he spoke quietly, clearing his throat. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”
They both continued to drive down the road, almost empty, but usual for how late it was, and headed off an exit towards their neighborhood.
As they headed towards one of the tunnels, he looked over at her again, admiring her for a quick moment before speaking. “Is it okay if I go a little fast?”
She smiled as she let out a slight chuckle, taking note of how sweet it was of him to ask if he could go faster than normal on the road. “It’s more than okay, I trust you,”
He took her permission with a smirk, the car accelerating a little faster as he stepped on the gas. “Thank you, princess,” he said, almost in a half-joking-half-serious manner. “Enjoy the ride.”
Her face heated up at the nickname, a silly one, but it seemed fitting for how well he was treating her. It was all that she ever wanted, to be treated with some respect, and Jake went above and beyond with it. He seemed so perfect, and it felt almost silly how she hadn’t noticed it.
She was quickly brought back to her senses, pulled away from her dreamy state when the car’s engine roared beneath the both of them as they drove through the tunnel. The lights passed by one by one quickly, like shooting stars in the dark tunnel.
It felt so surreal, nostalgic even, the speed of the car mirroring a lost memory of being on a roller coaster, the fuzzy lights oh so similar to the carnival lights.
After what seemed like an hour of reminiscing, the car exited the tunnel, the familiar city lights came back into view, and the dark night sky could be seen again. He slowed down the car slightly, settling down to a reasonable speed.
Silence hung in the air comfortably, peaceful and calm as they drove down the road. She liked it like this, the both of them not needing to speak a word to make things comfortable, and it was much different than the noisy, chaotic life she was familiar with.
“Are you alright?” he asked, looking over at her as he pulled to a stop at an intersection.
She smiled, a warm, soft smile that was filled with happiness, and nothing less. “I’m more than alright,”
Her voice was sweet and gentle, making him melt instantaneously, his heart and mind clouding with a fuzzy feeling that he could only think was love. He realized that ever since he knew her, his world was seen through heart-shaped glasses, just for her, and no one else.
“You’re so beautiful.” The words slipped past his lips before he realized, and he sat there frozen in fear. He hoped that she hadn’t heard him, but her ears heard it all.
She thought her mind was playing tricks on her, the late night combined with the fading adrenaline. “Jake,” she paused for a brief moment. “What?”
He could downplay it and shrug it off like he hadn’t said anything important, but that would leave her confused, and he never wanted her to be confused by his words. The other option was to fully admit his feelings, the ones that have been slowly growing ever since he met her.
“You’re so beautiful, so so beautiful.”
She looked at him with slight fear in her eyes, unsure whether or not he was lying. But all she saw was the truth, the vulnerability that he held right in that moment. He revealed his heart and soul to her, raw and in his hands, handing it to her.
There was no need to keep her guard up now, she was safe, with him, the one that she could always rely on, the one that picked her up in the rain in the darkest hours of the night.
The soft, glowing red light seemed to shine on his face like moonlight passing through stained glass, making him look angelic, ethereal. His dark t-shirt seemed to hug him nicely, chain necklace glimmering as the light shined on it.
Time seemed to tick slowly, sugary molasses straight from the jug. Her eyes savored all of him, his darkingly handsome look, strong, and yet gentle attitude.
“You’re breathtaking Jake,” she whispered.
It was the perfect fairytale moment that she’d been dreaming about, but with Jake, it made it all the more warm, even if she didn’t recognize it.
A loud car horn from behind them honked loudly, snapping them both out of the dreamy, fairytale state they seemed to have been locked in.
He let out a chuckle before continuing to drive, a smile scrawled on his face.
“Sorry about that car behind us, didn’t know others would be driving at around midnight in Boston.”
“It’s okay,” she laughed with him.
Smiling, they both drove to her home in comfortable silence, spirit high in joy and soft tenderness, something that she would be willing to grow familiar with in the future.
“I really enjoyed the night with you,” she said quietly, the comfortable silence being replaced with her voice, which Jake still found comforting.
“I enjoyed it as well,” he sighed softly. “You know—” he paused as he adjusted his hand on the steering wheel. “I enjoy seeing you smile more, and laugh too,”
She gave him a gentle look, full of warmth and curiosity. He never seemed to express any lovey feelings, even more so, any lovey feelings towards her, and yet she wanted more of it, just like how he wanted more of her happiness.
#nhl#hockey#nhl hockey#nhl writing#nhl fic#boston bruins#hockey fic#hockey imagine#jake debrusk#jake debrusk x reader#jake debrusk imagine#boston bruins imagine
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Men's Hockey RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Jake DeBrusk/Charlie McAvoy
Characters: Charlie McAvoy, Jake DeBrusk, Zdeno Chara, Bruce Cassidy
Additional Tags: Cuddling & Snuggling, Nervousness, Awkward Crush, self help books???, Sleep Deprivation, my fav tag !!!, Self-Esteem Issues
Summary:
From a rooming mishap, there must be two rooms of three players. Easy. Jake, Charlie, and Zdeno.
Maybe it's not so easy. Maybe it's disastrous. Why?
Charlie has enormous feelings for Jake.
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jake and trent, "safe"
They could feel Charlie and Brandon’s eyes on them. They were heavy, almost cold and calculating. But, as Trent’s lips trailed a little further down Jake’s stomach, they knew nothing out of their control would happen to them. They were safe under Brandon and Charlie’s watchful gaze. Besides, they were the ones that had planned this little playdate.
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I have been tagged by a few people now ( @cellythefloshie @callsign-denmark @comphy-and-cozy @thomasschabot & @laurenairay ) so maybe I should actually do this lmao
RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
This is every WIP I haven’t yet moved to my ‘nup’ folder lol
- starting at the end
- don’t forget how well i know you
- wedding bells
- ‘jake debrusk’
- ‘jamie oleksiak’
- sunburn
- the future is all yours now
- the world was made for you
- every time you take me home
- ‘owen power’
- never be the same
- ‘sid fic’
- ‘torts daughter’
- always chasing after something
- give me all that you’ve got
I feel like everyone has been tagged in this now… if you want to do this but haven’t been tagged… this is me tagging you!!
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11 and 17 for the fic rec please!
🛳️ A fic that brought you aboard a new ship
This is really hard cause I tend to go scorched earth once I find a new ship so I cant always trace the first one except for a few rare pairs I had in my head before reading any fics which I dont think count but lets go with this
Elevated by Bluejay141519 - 99.9% confident this was my first jake debrusk/charlie mcavoy and jake/charlie/matt fic. I was a diehard mcgryz fan before this one but this helped me see the dynamic to get on board the rest of the triad and im a sucker for soulmate fic
✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time
yours to bear by mellerbee (orphan_account) - I will pick this one because its a Game 7 aftermath fic that I think would be awesome to come across right now as a new fic to consume looking for ways to deal with my feelings of what just happened to the Bruins
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Ohhh 74 &75 pleasee
#74 – do you have a fic you wish got more love?
tbh not really?? i feel like i've always gotten a good amount of love on fics, but if there was one, i'd maybe say it would be between my jake debrusk one shot "enough for you" or macdaddy one shot "when the lights go out in colorado, expect me there to hold your hand" BUT IN GENERAL, i''m v grateful for any love and feedback i get 🥰.
#75 – is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn't expect?
there are two actually 💀 one being my seguin fic "little do you know" which was one of the first fics i posted ((idk why i just feel surprised people love it so much yk??)) and the other being the tkachuk "baby it's cold outside" series ((tho i think ik why people love it sm...smutty minds 💀))
pick a number from this list and ask me a fanfic writing question!! 🥰
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Falling For You
Pairing: Jake DeBrusk x female!OC
Summary: Sutton Beckett is settling for an unhappy relationship, but a chance encounter with Jake changes everything.
Word Count: 18k+
A/N: Happy birthday, JD! Here’s the fic I’ve been working on since the beginning of quarantine. It’s been fun for me to write in my free time. It’s mostly a friends to lovers story, but very much a slow burn. SLOW. BURN. (Title inspired by Fallingforyou by The 1975)
Warnings: Smut, alcohol consumption, shitty boyfriend (not Jake)
Masterlist
January 20th, 2019
Sutton Beckett was pouting into a Long Island Iced Tea in the middle of a club in Boston. Despite being surrounded by her two best friends and a sea of beautiful, smiling people, she couldn’t find it in herself to crack so much as a smirk.
“Stop moping,” her roommate, Kate, demanded. Sutton lifted her chin and caught the glare she was sending her. “You’re no fun when you’re fighting with Garrett.”
“So, she’s no fun all the time?” their other roommate, Mia, asked with a sarcastic laugh.
“I’m fun!”
“Yeah, when you’re not fixated on every little detail of every little fight you have with him.”
Sutton almost opened her mouth to argue that her roommates were wrong, but she was tired of fighting it. They were completely right. Her relationship of two years was draining her energy completely.
When she first met him, their relationship felt like a dream. He was older, so he had a well-paying job and she reaped the benefits of those paychecks. He brought her to five-star restaurants and surprised her with gifts just because. He talked about the future and his plans to buy them a house on the Cape. She loved him, she saw that future with him, but as time had gone on the vision was getting dimmer.
After they hit a year and a half, a switch flipped.
When Garrett stopped caring, she blamed it on his work, but months passed and she needed something new to blame it on. His parents’ divorce, his sister’s Bridezilla wedding planning, even the death of his childhood dog. But she knew, and her friends knew, the relationship was a disaster and her excuses weren’t good enough.
“What was the fight about tonight?”
“He didn’t like what she was wearing,” Kate answered the question before Sutton could even open her mouth. Sutton opened her mouth, no doubt to come to Garrett’s defense, but Kate warned her, “Don’t defend him.”
“I’m going to grab another drink.”
Sutton found an open space at the bar and gunned for it. But, just as she stepped into the space, someone else did the same and she nearly crashed right into the broad chest of a random man. He stopped short just before she collided into him. When she looked up at him, he spoke but the music was too loud to hear. So, he leaned down to speak into her ear.
“You can order first,” he spoke, nodding towards the bar. “I’ll wait my turn.”
The boy stood at least two steps behind her as she leaned against the bar and stood on her tippy toes to get the bartender’s attention. She was shorter than almost everyone standing at the counter and kept getting ignored as a result, so he finally took matters into his own hands and waved the bartender down.
She spotted him and made a beeline to their side of the bar, though she looked directly past Sutton and up to him.
“I’ll have a ginger whiskey,” he spoke. He extended his hand with his card right over Sutton’s shoulder. “And whatever she’s having you can put on my card, too.”
Sutton almost protested, but the moment she turned to do so, he simply shook his head and she snapped her mouth shut. She placed her order, despite herself, and turned back to the boy as the bartender went to grab the drinks.
“I have a boyfriend,” she told him. He choked on his laughter, but said nothing more as he leaned over her to grab their drinks from the counter of the bar. He handed her glass to her as she continued rambling. “I wasn’t sure if you were, like, flirting with me and I didn’t want to take advantage of you if you were.”
“I was totally flirting with you,” he admitted. Sutton’s eyebrows shot up at his honesty. “But, hey, no problem. We can just be friends, yeah?”
She eyed him skeptically because, honestly, no guys just wanted to be friends. But the smile on his face made it hard for her to believe that he had any bad intentions. He just looked kinder than most guys—soft eyes, kind smile, brown hair that was a little long and tousled like he couldn’t have been bothered to groom it himself.
“Sure, we can be friends,” she told him with a smile that mirrored his own. “What’s your name?”
“Jake,” he introduced himself as he extended his hand.
“I’m Sutton,” she responded, dropping her hand in his. His fingers, rough against her much softer and more delicate skin, curled around her hand and gave her a firm shake.
“I love your outfit,” he said, leaning back to admire the lace body suit she paired with black skinny jeans. Her hand remained in his grasp as she threw her head back with a laugh. How beautifully ironic this interaction was.
“Thank you,” she responded, shaking her head at him in amusement as they dropped each other’s hands. “Guys never compliment girls on what they wear, so thank you for being a breath of fresh air.”
“Not even what’s-his-name?”
“Who?”
“Your boyfriend.”
She laughed again before offering his name.
“Garrett.”
“Garrett,” he scoffed. He knew he was probably treading on thin ice, but he also noticed how easily the laughter was falling from her lips, so he continued. “Garrett doesn’t compliment you?”
“Not tonight,” she said, gazing down at the glass in her hands. She didn’t mean for it to come out sounding that sad, and yet. “No.”
Jake frowned as he watched her close in on herself. The laughter was gone and her eyes had gone dark and the smile on her lips was upside down, so he asked, “Do you want to dance?”
And, because the five minutes she’d been around him made her smile harder than the past six months with Garrett, she decided to say, “I’d love to.”
In the middle of the dancefloor, he spun her into his chest. His free hand fell to her hips as her arms curled around his neck to rest her elbows on his shoulders. She giggled softly again before curling her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.
It started out innocent enough, but as the music changed so did the air between them. It wasn’t long before her back was pressed against his chest, glasses forgotten on a table a few steps away from them. His hands danced along her sides and wrapped around her waist to pull her close.
He liked the way she laughed and the way she felt against him and he noticed that she would lull her head to the side when he leaned down to whisper in her ear. His breath tickled her neck and she reacted immediately and it turned him on. He wanted to touch her bare skin, he wanted to kiss her neck, and he wondered if he could press his luck. He reached up, brushed her hair behind her, and leaned in to place a chaste kiss against her neck.
Nothing more happened, though they danced through another few songs before he was dragged away from her to rejoin his friends. He practically begged for her phone and left his number under a contact name of Jane (“Just in case Gary sees,” he explained. “Garrett,” she corrected him.)
When she returned home that night, she jumped in the shower immediately, earning confused looks from her roommates. She told them that she just felt gross when she really just needed to wash him off her skin.
---
February 12th, 2019
“Garrett, wonderful to see you.”
“Likewise.”
Sutton laughed to herself at the sarcastic formalities exchanged between her boyfriend and Mia. It had been a few weeks since her night out with the girls and, even though Sutton and Garrett hadn’t fought since, Mia still couldn’t stand seeing him in their apartment.
“Where’s my girl?”
“Bedroom.”
Sutton heard him approaching and pulled the door open. When he stepped in, he held up a jersey and waved it in her direction.
“You can wear my Pasta jersey tonight,” he spoke. “He’s one of our best players.”
She reached out and took it from his hand, but he didn’t release it. Instead, he leaned in and puckered his lips for a kiss. She complied after mentally rolling her eyes at him. He let go of the jersey, and she slipped it on over a long sleeve shirt. “Are you excited?”
“Yeah, baby,” he answered, stepping up behind her as she check herself out in the mirror. He wound his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “This is such a great gift.”
“I’m glad,” she said softly, thinking about all the money she’d spent on it. He better have liked it, if not only for the dent it left in her wallet.
They made it to their seats five minutes before puck drop. He spent most of their ride to the Garden talking her ear off about the team and the season they’d been having, but Sutton never cared much for sports so most of it was in one ear and out the other.
It wasn’t until the team came out for the beginning of the game that Sutton’s worlds collided. Above her head on the massive Jumbotron, Jake was smiling down at her. She gasped, hand jolting in surprise just enough to spill some beer on Garrett’s jeans.
“Sutton, what the hell?” he grunted, wiping the liquid off his leg. She muttered an apology, but her eyes were already searching the ice for the boy she’d been considering a missed connection. He stood at center ice, shuffling on his skates as the anthem played. And his number? 74. Just like the jersey Garrett was wearing.
She was flustered in the very worst way. It felt like she was barely functioning, unable to carry a conversation with Garrett because her mind was so clearly on Jake. It was made even worse whenever she caught a glimpse of his last name branded across Garrett’s back. She felt a little bit sick, and a little bit guilty, even though she didn’t really have a reason to be.
On the way back to her apartment, Garrett chattered on about the game while she stared down at her phone in her lap. It felt heavier now that she’d been reminded of the number in her phone.
He walked her up to her apartment, though she kind of hoped he’d just stay in the car, and waited for her to change out of his jersey before going. Kate began to chat with him, and Sutton made a mental note to thank her later for at least being polite.
“What are you guys going to do for Valentines?”
“Well, we just had an early Valentines’ date tonight,” he said. Sutton reentered the room at that moment, wishing she had stayed in her bedroom for a moment longer so she didn’t have to hear that. “Did you have fun, baby?”
She nodded because she genuinely thought if she opened her mouth that she would cry.
“Oh!” Kate responded. Her face was white, eyes shifting uncomfortably between her best friend and the guy who’d just crushed her spirit. “No dinner on the day of?”
Garrett offered the girls a performative pouted, dropping an arm over Sutton’s shoulders, as he responded, “I tried to get reservations at Sutton’s favorite spot, but they’re all booked up.”
“When did you try to do that?” Kate asked, eyebrows raised in shock.
“I called last weekend.”
“Garrett, it’s Valentines’ Day,” Mia grunted as she entered the room. He glared at her. “You can’t just call the weekend before and get a table. You should’ve planned in advance.”
“Oh, no,” Sutton spoke up, suddenly finding her voice as she waved off their concerns. “It’s really not a big deal. We’ve been together for so long, you know? We’ve celebrated way too many things. Besides, Valentines’ is just a money maker, right?”
“You crack me up,” he murmured. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Sutton’s lips. “Listen, babe, I have to run. Early morning tomorrow. I’ll call you, okay?”
“Okay.”
Kate and Mia waited until they heard the elevator doors close before launching into a dramatic monologue about how much they hated him, how Sutton deserved better. Sutton, on the other hand, made herself a grilled cheese while they ranted at her and tried to tune them out.
When she was in bed later that night, she couldn’t find it in her to turn on the television or read the book she’d bought earlier that afternoon. Instead, she stared blankly at the wall in front of her and let her brain run a mile a minute.
Finally, after about thirty minutes, she grabbed her phone and pulled up Jake’s contact. She laughed at the contact photo, a goofy selfie he’d taken of himself just before leaving her that night.
When were you going to tell me you were a professional hockey player?
She deleted it and retyped it about five times before just hitting send and hoping for the best.
Across the city, Jake was slipping into his apartment and nearly dropped the food he grabbed on the way home when he saw her name flash across the screen. He smiled when he read her message and settled down at the kitchen table to respond before eating.
Right now, I guess
Bubbles popped up on his screen immediately as she typed out a message of her own. He locked his phone, then unlocked it, watching the bubbles intently as if urging her to type faster.
I was at the game tonight… My boyfriend wore your jersey.
Jake licked his bottom lip, tugging it between his teeth to suppress the cocky grin that was finding its way to his lips.
What did you wear?
Sutton laughed at the undertone of the message, but before she could respond he’d already sent another.
I don’t mean it like you think I do. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Her response: I wore a Pastrnak jersey… And my mind isn’t in the gutter
Well, why don’t you just rip my heart out, Sutton???
The next morning, she woke up to a follow request from him and the realization that a simple shower wasn’t going to make him go away.
---
February 14th, 2019
In the two days since Garrett dropped the bomb about the lack of Valentines’ plans, Sutton had come to terms with it. It was okay that they weren’t going out to some fancy dinner surrounded by happy couples or desperate singles… As long as he did something to make up for it.
Quite honestly, she wasn’t asking for much.
Flowers would be great, she thought. But, at this point, she would settle for a heartfelt card (or, hell, even a text).
She woke up to a coffee, still hot, waiting for her on the counter with a sweet Post-It note from Kate. Mia even snuck freshly baked cookies into the girls’ lunches. Sutton would be making dinner in their apartment that night as her contribution to their Valentines’ Day plans. At the end of the day, she knew she’d be thankful she spent the night with her girls instead of Garrett.
Maybe that was a problem.
There were no flowers waiting for her when she got to work, and still none by lunchtime. She checked with the office’s receptionist three times that day, wondering if she’d missed a call or something like that. But she hadn’t.
It was around 4 p.m., two hours until the end of her work day, when she heard the mail cart rolling down the hallway.
“Special delivery for Miss Beckett!”
Sutton’s heart fluttered. She practically danced out to the hallway from her desk. The cute elderly man who delivered the mail was standing just beyond the threshold with a black box wrapped in a beautiful white bow.
“Thank you, Earl.”
“Enjoy, beautiful,” he said. “He better treat you right or someone else might come and snatch you up.”
Sutton laughed politely as she walked back to her desk. She placed the box down and squealed excitedly as she pulled the ribbon apart. She took the top off, pulled back the tissue paper, and revealed a Bruins t-shirt with a note that read: You’d look better in #74 than your boyfriend
+
While Kate and Mia set the dinner table that night, Sutton found herself preoccupied with dinner and Jake DeBrusk, once again. She’d been thinking about his gift all day.
Since she texted him the other night, they’d been Snapchatting a little bit. It was never anything of substance, just photos of his sneakers or skates and her coffees. They hadn’t exchanged any message since earlier that morning, and certainly not after the arrival of his gift, but she knew she’d have to thank him eventually. It made her nervous to think about. She typed out a dozen of texts, but kept talking herself out of it and deleting them. She was so far in her head that she couldn’t figure out how to deal with the situation.
She figured that she should’ve been more upset with him. Sending her a gift on Valentines’ Day when he knew she had boyfriend was clearly crossing a line and she knew she needed to stop him before he took it too far. But, she couldn’t help but ask herself if she even wanted to.
Against her better judgement, Sutton decided she needed to ask for help from the girls. So, as she placed the entrée down on their dining table, she announced, “I need to talk to you guys. And I need you to not be crazies, or jump to conclusions, or anything like that.”
“If it’s about Garrett, I’m liable to be a little crazy.”
“It’s not about him,” she said. “Well, it kind of is. Indirectly, at least.”
“Spit it out, Sutton.”
“Remember when we went out after Garrett and I fought at the end of last month?” she asked. The girls nodded, already digging into the food on their plate despite Sutton being too nervous to put anything on her own. Kate noticed and began shoveling food onto her plate for her, pushing it towards her after it was full. “I met a guy.”
“Excuse me?” Mia blurted out. “What do you mean you met a guy?”
“His name was Jake,” she continued. The girls nodded along, hanging onto every word that Sutton said while she went through the details of the night she met him, and the night she saw him again. They both had smiles on their faces, giggling at the way Sutton relayed their texts from two nights prior.
Kate couldn’t believe she had been talking to a player on the Bruins. Mia was just happy she was talking to someone other than Garrett.
“He sent me one of those t-shirt jerseys,” she said. “Today.”
“Today?!”
“Yeah, and he left a note that said ‘you’d look better in #74 than your boyfriend’.”
The girls swooned.
“I love him!” Mia announced. Kate nodded in agreement. “You have to call him and say thank you.”
“Call him?”
“Absolutely!”
“I feel guilty,” she admitted. “I should probably let him down easy, right? I have a boyfriend, and he knows that. He shouldn’t have sent me that gift… Let alone on Valentines’ Day!”
As expected, her roommates groaned or eye rolled or reacted in whatever frustrated way they wanted to.
“We’ll clean up after dinner if you call him.”
+
Jake declined her call, and then FaceTimed her back. She threw the phone onto her bed, far away from her, at the sight of herself and grabbed an elastic from her dresser to tame the frizzy locks on her head.
“What kind of psychopath FaceTimes someone they hardly know?!” Sutton screamed to her roommates. She heard them laughing in the living room. “And without warning!”
“Answer him!” Mia yelled. “I hate the sound of your ringtone!”
Sutton huffed out in frustration and plopped onto her bed, checking once more to see if she looked okay. She pressed her thumb over the front camera and answered.
Jake was grinning when he popped up, but then he frowned comically.
“I FaceTimed you for a reason.”
“And I voice called you for a reason.”
Sutton watched as Jake threw his head back with a laugh and smiled despite herself. He was in a hotel bed, at least that’s what it looked like, and he was laying on his side, propped up on his elbow. He stared at the black screen on his end of the call and sighed.
“Sutton, show yourself.”
She rolled her eyes, but did as she was told and pulled her thumb off the camera. Before he could say anything, she asked, “How did you know where I work?”
“You put the building on your Instagram story yesterday,” he answered. “And the company is in your Instagram bio. I put two and two together.”
“I really appreciate the gift, Jake, but I have a boyfriend.”
Jake blinked at Sutton, unphased by the statement, before finally saying, “I know that.”
“You really shouldn’t be sending me gifts on Valentines’ Day.”
“It’s Valentines’ Day?” he asked. She honestly couldn’t tell if he was serious or he was just joking around. He laughed softly at her confused expression. “Relax, Sutton. I just wanted to get you the jersey before our game tomorrow night.”
“Oh.”
“Oh,” he teased. She rolled her eyes. “Was he mad?”
“He didn’t see it.”
“Why? Did you throw it out? Don’t tell me you threw it out. I mean, it’s not a big deal. I could pay for a new one, but I always hoped if anyone was going to get rid of my jersey they would burn it. It’s so much cooler that way.”
Sutton laughed at him, and Jake beamed at the sound. He hadn’t heard it since the night at the club and it was just as pretty as he remembered.
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Shouldn’t you be out right now?” he asked. “It’s only 9 p.m. You look like you’re in bed.”
“That’s because I am in bed.”
“Why?”
“Because I have work tomorrow.”
“What did you do tonight?”
“You ask so many questions.”
“I’m trying to get to know you.”
Although they were a whole country apart from each other, him in a hotel room in California and her in bed in Boston, she felt vulnerable. It was because of the way he was looking at her through the screen, the softness of his voice when he was flirting with her, the not-Valentines’ gift and handwritten note that still sat beside her.
“I made dinner for my roommates and I,” she answered. “It was nice.”
“You and Garrett have roommates?”
“Oh, my God,” Sutton grumbled. He was really going to make her spell it out for him wasn’t she. (And, yes, he fully intended to.) “No. I don’t live with him. I live with my two best friends.”
“Did he not spend Valentines’ with you?”
“No, he did,” she said. Her voice dropped to a mumble. “Two nights ago, at TD Garden with you and thousands of other people.”
“Tell me he got you a better gift than a t-shirt with my last name on it,” Jake pleaded, no longer finding the humor in teasing her about him. Sutton grit her teeth in response, not wanting to tell him the truth but knowing she couldn’t lie. “I am your fucking Valentine.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am by default,” he argued. “And so are your roommates apparently.”
“We celebrated early! Why is that so crazy?”
“Who bought the tickets to the game?” Jake asked. Her silence spoke volumes. “You did, huh?” Sutton nodded. “What kind of asshole doesn’t get his girlfriend a gift on Valentines’ day? What kind of asshole doesn’t even bring her out to dinner?”
“Jake, that’s enough.”
“Did he send you flowers? A card?”
“Jake!” Sutton yelled. He pulled his phone away from his face at the sharpness of her tone. “I don’t want to hear it from you. I already hear it from my roommates. I don’t need to hear it from you. You don’t even know me.”
“Well, I want to.”
There was a pause in conversation, a moment of intense eye contact (if you could even call it that through the phone). Then, Sutton dropped her head back in frustration.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been thinking about you since I first met you.”
“I have a boyfriend, Jake.”
“Sort of.”
“Stop.”
“Okay.”
Sutton let out a frustrated sigh and Jake watched her run her free hand through her hair while her eyes gazed at something across the room. They looked like they were welling up and Jake frowned, the feeling of helplessness washing over him as he realized he didn’t quite know how to make the situation any better.
“You’re going to wear the shirt tomorrow, though, right?” he asked, forcing a grin onto his face. She looked at him and laughed. “Because if you tell me you’re wearing a Pasta jersey again, it will break my heart.”
“Yes, I’ll wear your jersey.”
They spent another thirty minutes on the phone talking about nothing important. Jake was happy to be talking to her for real, not through Snapchats that he had to disguise as snaps he sent to everyone on his contact list. As their time together ended, it was clear neither of them was quite ready to hang up.
“I’ll admit,” she started. Jake’s eyebrows perked up. “I like talking to you, Jake DeBrusk.”
“I knew I’d wear you down at some point.”
“But I have a boyfriend.”
“What did I say at the bar?” he asked. She narrowed her eyes at him, unsure of what he was referring to. The only thing that came to mind from that night was the feeling of his lips against her skin. It was hard to remember everything else. He made her head fuzzy. “We can just be friends.”
---
March 1st, 2019
Sutton’s relationship with Garrett and her friendship with Jake were never supposed to come closer to intersecting than it had on February 12th and there were a few reasons for that.
The first was that Sutton didn’t want to taint the friendship she had with Jake by throwing Garrett into the equation. It just felt too close for comfort. Besides, she knew the two wouldn’t get along. Jake was giggly, happy, full of life. Garrett was serious, grumpy, exhausting. Just because she liked being around them separately did not mean she’d like them together.
The second was that she knew if Garrett found out about their friendship, he would be pissed. There was a reason she shied away from having guy friends. Garrett hated sharing her with other guys, and that included her work husband who was a gay man in his 40s. He was slightly possessive, but she brushed it off as his own insecurities and vowed not to make the relationship more difficult than it needed to be. Just like everything else in life, Sutton catered the relationship to him.
Kate and Mia found humor in the way that Sutton’s life had suddenly become a revolving door. Garrett was there one minute and the second he was gone Jake was showing up at their front door. They started referring to the two parts of Sutton’s life as church and state. Always separate.
She found it easy to keep it that way. Her friendship with Jake was almost completely virtual, save for a happy hour or two. He was busy with hockey, so she didn’t have to worry about him asking her to hang out on the weekends or ever at night. She reserved those for Garrett.
Besides, something about being with another guy after sunset just felt a little scandalous to her and she didn’t need anyone—Jake, Kate and Mia, Garrett, herself—getting the wrong idea.
Nights with Garrett were few and far between. He seemed to be getting busier and busier at work, but Sutton played the part of the doting girlfriend (which really she was) even better. She made him dinner before he went in for night shifts, waited for him to come home from working overtime to give him a massage, made him breakfast before he went out to work again.
Things seemed to be getting better between them, despite his busy schedule. So much so that he met her at work that Friday to bring her to happy hour. He said he wanted to check out a new place downtown, and she went happily because it finally felt right.
Apparently, the opening of this bar was highly anticipated because the place was packed. Unlike Valentines’ Day, Garrett called ahead. Sutton kept the sarcastic comments swirling through her mind to herself and settled into the booth across from him with a sweet smile.
They browsed the menu; Sutton a little longer than Garrett due to her indecisiveness. He gazed around the bar, taking in the atmosphere and then the sight of not one, not two, but a whole group of Boston Bruins.
“Sutton, you’ll never guess who just walked in,” he said in an excited whisper. Sutton gazed up at him from the menu with a smile, then followed his eyes to the door. “Do you know who that is?”
Among a group of men in athletic clothing stood Jake in a Bruins sweatshirt. She spun back to face Garrett and shook her head to give him the illusion that she had no idea who they were even though her heart was about to jump out of her chest.
“Those are some of the Bruins players,” he murmured. “I gotta get a picture with them.”
“Well, why don’t you just let them get drinks and then you can ask for a picture before we leave,” she suggested. The shake of her voice was enough to give her away, if Garrett would only listen.
“That’s Jake DeBrusk,” he continued, eyes still trained on the men across the room. “And Charlie McAvoy.”
“Stop staring, babe,” she said. She took his chin between her fingers and redirected his attention to her. “It’s rude to stare.”
“Well, I’m sorry,” he grumbled, leaning back against his seat. “It’s like if one of those podcasters you liked walked in. I’m star struck.”
Sutton’s heart was pounding in her chest long after Garrett stopped staring at the players that had entered the bar. She knew Jake wouldn’t notice her with her back to him, and since he’d never met Garrett it was impossible that he’d even recognize him. But with Garrett jumping for joy at the opportunity to meet them, she knew she couldn’t avoid him completely.
She spent the entire time trying to figure out how this was going to go down, and even when it came down to it she couldn’t be sure she was making the right decision.
She gathered her things, including her nerves, as Garrett approached Jake. He’d been on the way to the bar when Garrett reached him and the two exchanged polite conversation, smile plastered across Jake’s face as usual.
“Sutton, baby, would you come take a picture for us?”
His smile dropped the moment Sutton locked eyes with him.
“Sure!” she said cheerily, diverting her eyes from his stare. She flitted over to take Garrett’s hand in hers. Jake watched, stomach turning. He was frozen in place. She wasn’t even going to say hello? She wouldn’t meet his eyes or even give him a playful look, a wink even, to acknowledge him behind Garrett’s back.
Jake clenched his jaw and led them back to the table, teeth grinding against each other like they never have before.
“Boys, real quick picture, okay?”
Everything moved so fast. Garrett jumped in with them, Sutton snapped the picture, then stepped away as Garrett praised them on the season they’d been having. She ignored the way Jake was staring at her, tapping away at her phone instead of engaging with him. Like, what else was she supposed to do?
“What’s your name?” Charlie called out. Sutton looked up at him, anxious as all hell that the cat was going to be out of the bag in approximately five seconds. Thankfully, Garrett was talking to one of the other guys they were with and she caught her breath. “You look familiar.”
“Familiar?” she asked with a laugh. Jake watched her carefully. “I don’t think we’ve met before.”
Charlie looked skeptical and then, as he turned to ask Jake if he thought you look familiar too, it clicked.
“Holy shit,” he murmured. And then, as he looked back and forth between the two of them, he also realized the tension. “Holy shit.”
Jake shook his head at Charlie before turning to sit in his chair. Sutton stared at his back, hating every choice she’d made in the minutes before.
“Well, listen, I’ll let you guys get back to it,” Garrett finally said. Sutton redirected her attention to him, hand curling around his forearm as he reached out to her. “Good luck the rest of the way.”
He received words of thanks from the men as they turned back to their food and drinks, and then he was guiding her out of the entrance of the restaurant. Sutton stole one last glance at Jake on the way out and knew that she fucked up.
For the rest of the meal, Jake was quieter than usual because his head was reeling. He was stupid to ever get attached to her. All the time they’d spent talking made him forget that she already had someone at home. Seeing him with her, holding her hand, snapped Jake back to reality. He needed to give himself space.
That’s why when Sutton texted him that night to apologize. (I’m sorry about today! I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do. But thanks for taking a picture with him.)
He left her on read.
---
March 4th, 2019
Nights were meant for Garrett, but Sutton gave herself one pass.
Jake hadn’t answered her texts or Snapchats since happy hour. She knew the way she acted was shitty, but did he expect her to just tell Garrett about him? It seemed like mess of situation that she didn’t want to get into. Three days later, and after numerous attempts to get in contact with him, she had to go full-on stalker mode.
Jake was at practice late that afternoon, so she planned to grab his favorite meal from a local Thai restaurant and drop it at his apartment when he was home later that night. She followed through, feeling confident in herself as she marched towards his apartment with her head held high.
That feeling dissipated almost as soon as the elevator left the ground floor, but she kept it pushing despite the anxiety. At his door, she knocked once, and waited. No response came. She knocked two more times with the same result and decided to give up.
Maybe it was a sign from the universe that she wasn’t supposed to try to fix this. She took this thought in stride, turning to walk away from his door and find shelter in her apartment across the city. And then the elevator opened and Jake stepped out.
They both stopped in their tracks.
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to drop this off,” she answered, extending the Styrofoam take-out box to him. He walked toward her with his duffel bag over his shoulder looking tired and sweaty. He took the box from her hand as he passed by her to unlock his door.
He was momentarily stunned into silence. She had texted him and called him a few times since happy hour, but he figured she’d just stop trying eventually. The thought of never seeing her again stung, but he gave himself a lengthy pep talk the day after the Garrett fiasco and then he re-downloaded all his dating apps.
“I’m going to go.”
“Hold up,” he murmured, kicking the door open. “Come inside for a minute.” Her feet remained planted to the carpeted hallway beneath her feet. She glanced at the elevator, then back at him. “Or don’t.”
Jake pushed the door open enough to slip through it with an annoyed huff of air, and then it slammed shut behind him.
She continued down the hall despite the invitation she desperately wanted to take. She reached the elevator and pressed the button to call it up to his floor. The whir of the car started immediately. The doors opened just a minute later, but Sutton was already on the way back to Jake’s front door.
She only knocked once before he was swinging the door open and stepping aside to welcome her in.
Jake walked straight into the kitchen where the microwave was already heating up the Thai food she’d brought for him. While she sat at the counter, Jake leaned up against the opposite side and asked, “What did you buy me Thai for?”
“It’s an apology.”
“The Thai food is an apology?”
“Yes.”
“For what?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He narrowed his eyes at her, as if he had no idea what he was talking about. He knew damn well what it was for. He just wanted her to say it herself.
“For happy hour the other day.”
Jake hummed, seemingly satisfied by her answer, and grabbed the food from the beeping microwave before slipping out of the kitchen to the living room. Sutton stood there a moment longer, ignoring her overwhelming urge to find a pillow and scream right into it.
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”
Her question was followed by a moment of silence until he reappeared in the doorway. He gave her an amused look before he stepped over to the utensil drawer to grab two forks.
“Sutton, when have I ever wanted you to leave me alone?” He paused. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“No.”
“Great.” He turned and continued out of the room. “Come eat.”
Jake sat on the floor on one side of his coffee table, and Sutton sat across from him. He turned the television on to some rerun of Friends and watched absentmindedly while they ate, his quiet chuckles the only thing filling the air around them.
Sutton watched him, mostly because he wasn’t looking at her, and felt relief wash over her. The tension in her shoulders over almost everything going on in her life was momentarily cured just because she was near him. She knew the Thai food was only a momentary solution and that a more serious conversation would follow later, but she didn’t care. This moment was something she’d been wanting since she saw him on Friday.
After eating, Jake showered and left Sutton in the living room to pick a movie for them to watch. When he returned, she was sitting on the opposite end of the couch from where he had been. He settled down onto the cushion without a word, eyes grazing over the description of the movie she’d picked out.
“Feels weird to have you all the way over there,” he said softly.
She stood and readjusted herself on the cushion beside him. Her legs folded beneath her as she pulled her sweatshirt sleeves over her hands. He noticed the way she was curling into herself and sighed in defeat, dropping his head against the back of the couch.
“Are you cold?” he asked. Sutton glanced over at him. “Or do you just feel that weird around me now?” She frowned. He looked away from her, muttering, “If I had known that you were going to be there with him, I would’ve gone somewhere else.”
“This is so fucked up,” she groaned into her hands. “That’s so unfair to you, Jake.”
“What do you mean?”
“You would have gone somewhere else? So that I could keep my friendship with you private from my relationship? Who does that?” she rambled. “Christ. Why do you deal with this? I’m such a shitty friend.”
“You’re not shitty, Sutt.”
“Yes! I am!” she exclaimed. “I should’ve just told Garrett that we met, but I didn’t because I knew he’d be pissy and I didn’t want to deal with it. Now, look! I’ve just made the situation worse because I hurt you and dug myself into a hole even deeper than it already was.”
“Why would you even think he’d be mad?”
“There’s a reason I’m only friends with girls, Jake.”
He stared at her long and hard after that admission feeling an anger boil in his stomach that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Finally, he asked, “Does he not let you have friends who are guys?”
Sutton’s answered with a look.
“He—he doesn’t hit you, does he?”
“No!” she exclaimed. “No. Never. I wouldn’t be with him if he was, like, abusive.” She almost couldn’t get the words out because she realized how ridiculous she sounded. She couldn’t even believe herself.
Jake huffed, his eyes rolling in frustration, as he said, “Okay, so he’s not physically abusive.”
“Jake.”
“No, I know,” he murmured. “You don’t want to talk about it. You never want to talk about it.”
He turned his attention back to the TV screen, jaw clenched so he could hold back all the words he wanted to say. He kept it to himself, knowing that if he spoke he’d be speaking out of anger and it would just make the situation worse.
So, he waited until he was composed. He waited until he was levelheaded. And level headed Jake cared more about keeping his friendship with Sutton intact than telling her that her boyfriend was a piece of shit.
“I hate being mad at you so much,” he said with a sigh. She pouted at him. “You’re like my best friend.”
“You’re mine, too,” she whispered. Jake stretched and pulled her into him for a hug. She relaxed in his arms, sighing softly into the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I just wish you wouldn’t let him control your life the way you do.”
Sutton pulled away and sighed.
“Things are good between us right now,” she said. “I know you don’t really understand it. Kate and Mia don’t either, I know that. It’s just that Garrett has been good to me. I’m happy.”
“Okay.”
“And I know that our friendship started out a little flirtatiously,” she continued. “But I can’t let you get the wrong idea, Jake. I’m happy with Garrett and I don’t want to lose you because of it. We’re—”
“We’re just friends,” Jake jumped in. “That’s what we have been since you yelled at me for buying you a Valentines’ gift.”
“I just wanted to make sure that the lines weren’t blurred.”
“Not blurred,” he insisted. “You’re my friend, Sutt. That’s all.”
---
March 17th, 2019
Jake was on his way to Sutton’s apartment because Garrett did something fucked up. He was beginning to forget how to treat Sutton again and Jake found himself picking up the pieces more than once. It wasn’t his job. He knew that, and yet he was still showing up to check on her.
Boston was in full-on party mode for St. Patrick’s Day and though Jake had been invited to a teammate’s house that night, he was on his way to Sutton’s apartment with ice cream. She answered the door, eyes rolling when she saw Jake on the other side. She told the girls not to tell him what Garrett had done that day… Clearly, they didn’t listen.
“Why are you here?”
“That was not a nice hello,” he noted as he pushed past her. He stepped into the kitchen and grabbed two spoons before entering the living room with Sutton hot on his heels. “What are you doing?”
“I was watching Project Runway,” she told him. She grabbed the remote and paused the television. He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Is Project Runway your emotional support show?”
“Who says I need emotional support?”
“Your roommates.”
“God, they’re so nosy,” she muttered. “I told them not to call you.”
“I would’ve figured it out even if they didn’t,” he said. He sat down on the couch and opened the pint of ice cream he’d brought with him. “I knew something was wrong just from the way you were texting me.”
“How?”
“Just your general lack of interest in the conversation.”
“Sorry.”
“All good,” he said, waving her off. He lifted the pint up toward her. “That’s why I came with your favorite flavor!”
Sutton fell to the couch beside him and grabbed a spoon, heart fluttering at his thoughtfulness. He pulled her legs over his lap and gazed over at her as she started digging into the Ben & Jerry’s in her hand.
“So, what happened?”
“Today’s our anniversary,” she explained. She handed him the pint after placing the spoon in her mouth, eyes fluttering shut as the flavor exploded in her mouth. Jake huffed, scooping out a spoonful for himself.
“Why isn’t he celebrating with you?”
“He had a St. Patrick’s party at his office,” she answered. “He’s up for a huge promotion at work, again, so he’s sucking up.”
“He couldn’t bring a plus-one?”
“I didn’t ask.”
Sutton might’ve asked Garrett at the beginning of their relationship, but she would never ask him to demand a plus-one now. And there was a very good reason for this. She was sure that if he’d dragged her along, she would find out something that she didn’t want to know. Something along the lines of him cheating on her.
All the signs were there, but she didn’t want to believe it. Or confront him about it.
And she certainly didn’t want to tell Jake.
“That’s so unfair to you,” he grumbled, passing the ice cream back to her. “You should say something to him. I thought things were going well for a little bit.”
“Yeah, well,” she said dismissively. “This is how things are between us.”
“Isn’t it exhausting, Sutton?”
“A little bit.”
“You deserve better than exhausting.”
+
When Kate and Mia got home later that night, they found the two of them wrapped up in each other and a message on the television asking if they were still watching their show. The sound of the door slamming shut startled the two awake and, under the watchful eyes of her roommates, Sutton scrambled off him.
“Hi, sleepy heads.”
“What time is it?” Jake grumbled, reaching out for his phone. He read the time, dropping his head against the pillow in frustration. Sutton left the room in search of sweatshirt and Jake found himself cornered by the other two girls. “I have to go.”
He stood, running his hands through his hair to contain the locks that were sticking up from the pillow. The roommates watched him with amused smiles.
“That was sweet,” Kate said. Mia nodded in agreement, but he just rolled his eyes.
“Friends,” he said. A sigh of disappointment fell from Kate’s lips. “That’s what she wants. That’s what I’m giving her. Don’t complicate it.”
“You two are so full of shit,” Mia grumbled as she marched out of the living room.
When Sutton returned, she looked ready for bed. Her hair was pulled up into a bun and her sweatshirt hung loose over her much smaller body. Kate was in the kitchen, out of sight, so Sutton’s guard fell for a moment. She walked over to Jake and wrapped her arms around his waist to cuddle against his chest again.
“Talk to Garrett, would you?”
She looked up at him, almost pleading him to drop the subject, but caught the look in his eye and knew he was serious.
“Okay, I will.”
“I just want you to be happy,” he said. “And he makes you happy, right?”
---
March 26th, 2019
Charlie was disappointed in Jake. There he stood, in Charlie’s kitchen, with his hip cocked against the counter and his phone in his hand. It had been two months since he met this girl and he was still pining after her, even though she had a boyfriend. It was pathetic.
“Sutton?”
Jake hummed at him in response. Charlie rolled his eyes and ripped the phone from his hands like a middle school bully. He glanced down at the screen, eyes catching her name and a horrible grey text to blue text ratio.
“Dude, are you triple texting a girl with a boyfriend?”
He shoved the phone back to Jake who then placed it in his back pocket with a scowl.
“I’m worried about you.”
“We’re friends.”
“You got friendzoned by a girl you tried to hit on at a club,” Charlie pointed out. “Where did you go wrong?”
“I talked to her.”
“Is she coming tonight?” he asked, deciding to use mercy rules on his love-struck friend.
“Yep,” Jake answered, avoiding eye contact with Charlie. It didn’t go unnoticed by McAvoy and he was waiting for Jake to drop whatever bomb was coming. “I think she might be bringing her boyfriend.”
“What?”
“It’s my fault,” Jake said. “I told her she could bring him if she wanted to.”
“Why would you do that?”
“She wanted to be here to celebrate us clinching a playoff spot. And I really wanted to see her, but she also had dinner plans with him. So, I told her to bring him with her after dinner.”
“I don’t want that prick in my apartment.”
Although Charlie thought Jake’s crush was ridiculous, he started to become a little protective of her over the last two months. He was always hearing all the crazy stories about her boyfriend and how shitty he was to her. It made Charlie itch.
He’d been around Sutton a few times since he saw her at happy hour, mostly at Jake’s apartment and in passing. She spent some time there on the weekdays, when Charlie assumed Garrett was at work. She was always making sweets for Jake (he claimed it was because she was stressed, though Charlie thought it was something more than that). When she noticed that Charlie would steal half of them each time, she started leaving him a bag of goodies too.
Other than those few occurrences, Jake was mostly talking his ear off about the times they could grab lunch or drinks. And, though he was still completely head-over-heels for her, the relationship between the two of them seemed to shift to a more platonic type. Forget the constant flirting and you just had two best friends.
“I don’t want him here either,” Jake grumbled. “But I want her, so we’ll just have to deal.”
Truth be told, Jake had gotten better at just being her friend. She stopped telling him all the shitty stuff that Garrett did to her. Instead, they talked about work and the things they would do when they finally got time off. Even Kate and Mia stopped telling him when Sutton and Garrett fought.
It was a step in the right direction, but he still knew things weren’t going right. He could tell by the way she filled his counter with baked goods and picked out the sappy rom coms on movie nights. Both were becoming a daily occurrence, but Jake kept his mouth shut.
He kept checking his phone for a sign of life from Sutton. Dinner with Garrett was at 6:30 p.m. 10:30 p.m. came around and his phone was still dry.
He hated himself for being so hung up on it because she was out with her boyfriend! Maybe they were having a great time, maybe for once in their relationship Garrett was doing the right thing and she was happy, maybe they’d gone back to his place… Jake shook off the traitorous thought.
He spent the night bouncing from group to group until Charlie pulled him into a conversation with some of his girlfriend’s friends. It was obvious, from the look in Charlie’s eyes, that this was a set up in progress. And, for the first time in a long time, Jake let it happen.
He talked to the girl in front of him, a small brunette with big brown eyes, for what seemed like hours. And not in a good way. He wondered if maybe she was being so boring to get him to kiss her, but it wasn’t working. He didn’t want to kiss her because he didn’t want to kiss anyone but Sutton.
Jake sighed, lifting his hand to the girls forearm to say, “It was really nice to meet you, but I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”
She looked at him like he punched her in the gut.
When he got to the bathroom, he peed and then stared at himself in the mirror for a little bit too long. He wasn’t even drunk. He just needed to have a moment with himself. Finally, when he felt centered, he leaned over the sink and splashed some cold water on his face before slipping out to the hallway once more.
“Jake!”
The sound of Sutton’s voice echoed off the walls of the hallway and set him off kilter once again. She bounded forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, effectively turning him to putty in her hands.
“Hi,” she greeted. She hung on him a little more than she usually did. Jake gazed down at her, thinking she looked a little bit like an angel with her hair pinned back like that.
His lips turned up into a small smile as he pressed a kiss against her forehead and murmured, “Hey.”
Mia turned down the hallway at that moment and let out a large exhale.
“Oh, good,” she huffed out. “She found you.”
Kate bumped into Mia from behind, apparently also in search of the sweet girl in his arms.
“She found him!”
“I found him!” Sutton exclaimed, clapping her hands over Jake’s cheeks as she looked up at him.
“You found me,” he responded with a soft laugh. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then glanced up at her roommates over her shoulder with a concerned look.
Kate came forward, wrapping her arms around Sutton’s waist to pull her from Jake.
“Come to the bathroom with me?”
“Sure, lovebug!” Sutton exclaimed. She turned back to look at Jake and planted a kiss right on his lips so quickly that he didn’t even get a chance to close his eyes, pucker his lips, or savor the moment. With a shocked gasp, Kate pulled Sutton away to the bathroom down the hall.
Jake’s eyes widened when he looked back at Mia.
“What the fuck is happening?” he asked, reaching up to brush his fingers along the tingling on his lip.
“She thinks Garrett is cheating on her.”
“Weren’t they supposed to be at dinner tonight?”
“He didn’t show, so she checked his location,” Mia explained. “He’s at a coworker’s house. Apparently, it’s been happening for a while and she didn’t care to tell us until tonight.”
Jake couldn’t decide what he was feeling. He was simultaneously pissed off at Garrett for being a dickhead, and Sutton for kissing him in that moment, and himself for feeling butterflies.
“She ended up eating dinner at the bar of the restaurant by herself and came back to our place bombed,” Mia continued. “We tried to get her in bed, but she insisted on seeing you. So, here we are.”
“She can’t stay.”
“We know that,” she said. “But she won’t leave with just us.”
The two of them exchanged a knowing look before the door down the hall swung open and Sutton stepped out, pulling Kate along with her. Jake stuffed down his frustration towards her and walked over with a smile to pick her up in a hug. She giggled and pressed her forehead against his.
“Let’s go home, yeah?”
“I just got here!”
“Yeah, but I’d much rather be at your place right now.”
Sutton pouted. Jake pouted back. And then she was smiling again.
+
Charlie stopped Jake before he slipped out the door behind the girls. His fingers curled into his teammate’s bicep way harder than necessary. Jake winced beneath his grasp.
“You need to sort this Sutton situation out,” he spoke. “I saw her plant one on you.”
“I don’t know what’s going on with her.”
“You are going to let this girl rip your heart out if you don’t set some boundaries,” Charlie barked. “I know you love her and I know deep down she’s not a shitty person, but I think she needs to figure her shit out on her own. You need to stop trying to fix everything for her.”
The ride back to Sutton’s apartment was silent. Charlie’s words echoed in his head as he slipped into the back of the car with Sutton right behind. She kicked her legs up over his lap and snuggled into his chest. Knowing nothing would get solved with her this drunk, he sighed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her into him.
He couldn’t believe she just kissed him like that, especially because she thought Garrett might’ve been doing the same thing across the city. It felt like he was a pawn in her little game, and he hated that because Sutton was better than that. At least he thought so.
Soft snores fell from her lips moments after they pulled away from the apartment building. Without thinking, he began to massage the top of her head. Kate watched with a fond smile on her face.
Jake carried her up to the apartment, stirring her from sleep only as he placed her on her bed.
“Jake,” she murmured. He knelt beside her and started to unclasp the heels she was wearing.
“Sutton.”
“Thank you.”
He hummed, picking up the shoes to place them by her closet door.
“Come to the bathroom,” he urged, extending his hand to her. “We’ll get that make up off. You can brush your teeth.” He turned away from her once she was standing and smirked. “Maybe even throw up if you feel so inclined.”
Sutton hit him lightly on the back, a giggle falling from his lips at the teasing.
Jake rummaged through the cabinets in search of her make up wipes while she sat atop the counter and brushed her teeth. After rinsing, she watched him with tired eyes as he moved to stand between her legs.
He cupped the back of her neck to hold her head steady while he removed her makeup and tried not to think about the way that she was looking at him, or how she melted into his touch the moment he held her. Her eyes fluttered shut for him to get off her eye makeup. When they opened again, their eyes met in a steady, loving gaze.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Sutton,” he murmured. He stepped back and opened the bathroom door once more to usher her out. She did as she was told and retreated to her room to crawl into bed. He returned a few minutes later with a bottle of water and pain killers. He placed them on her bedside table.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked. Jake sat down beside her and she reached up to cup his cheek in her hand. He leaned against her palm as her thumb stroked his cheekbone.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he responded. Her eyes began to well up. “You’re working yourself up. Don’t do that. We’ll be fine, okay?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Okay.”
She brushed the tears away with the back of her hand and sniffled. Jake placed a kiss against her forehead before turning to leave. He stopped at the door and looked back at her as she settled beneath the comforter and snuggled the pillow beneath her head.
“Call me when you get up.”
+
Sutton didn’t call by 10 a.m. the next morning, so Jake swung by to check on her. Mia let him in and informed him that she still wasn’t awake. He walked down the hall anyway, stopping just beyond the threshold of her door before pushing it open to find her sprawled out with her face mushed into the pillow. He took a few silent steps towards her bed and sat at the edge of it before lightly shaking her awake.
She woke with a start, the touch of Jake’s hand against her ankle shocking her enough to sit up right.
“Ouch,” she grumbled, squinting her eyes at the light filtering in from the window as she brought a hand to her head to stop the throbbing. Jake sprung up to shut the blinds. “Thank you.”
“I thought you’d be awake already,” he said, standing in front of the remaining rays of light coming through the window. “Get up. Let’s get breakfast.”
Jake was beyond anxious as they walked to her local diner. He wondered if she could tell that he was off or if she even remembered what happened. The way that she was talking, so nonchalant and unbothered, gave him the impression that she had no clue what damage she’d done last night.
“I honestly don’t remember getting to Charlie’s last night,” she admitted as they sat in a booth beside the window. “I remember seeing you in bits and pieces.”
“Really? Do you remember that I put you to bed?”
“Oh, Jake.” She dropped her head into her palms as she shook her head in disappointment at herself. He tried to hide the frown on his lips by turning his attention to the coffee in front of him. He ripped open a sugar packet and dumped it into the mug as Sutton grumbled about how sorry she was.
She continued talking, but Jake was finding it hard to listen. How could she act like nothing was wrong when it felt like the weight of his whole world was crushing him?
“When are you gonna tell me about your dinner with Garrett?” he blurted out as he finally met her eyes again. Her mouth snapped shut and realization set in that he wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Jake she thought she was grabbing breakfast with. He was not happy.
“He didn’t show up. He had something work related to take care of.”
“At his coworker’s house?”
“How do—”
“Mia filled me in when you showed up at Charlie’s,” he answered. “You were already plastered when you got to the party.” He paused. “Why didn’t you call me when he didn’t show?”
“Because it’s not your job to pick up the pieces every time he fucks up.”
“Then who will? Yourself? Because you did a pretty shitty job of it last night,” he spat. Sutton sat back against the vinyl seat behind her, shocked at his outburst. He paused, inhaling deeply before dropping the bomb. “You kissed me. Do you remember that, Sutton?”
Her jaw dropped and a hand came up to clasp over her mouth in shock as she mumbled out an apology that Jake didn’t want to hear.
“I like you, Sutton. I like being around you and talking to you. But, you drew a line months ago… A line that I’ve stopped trying to cross. And then you just kissed me, like there’d be no consequences.”
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But you did. And this morning you still woke up as his girlfriend, and you will tomorrow morning too. So, all I’m asking is that you figure your shit out with him and you don’t drag me into it. You can’t just kiss me because you think he also might be kissing someone else. That’s not fair. You wanted friends, so I gave you friends.”
As if by some divine intervention, their meals came at that moment and the conversation was dropped immediately. When they reached the front door of Sutton’s apartment, Jake didn’t try to come in like he usually did on hungover Sunday mornings. Instead, he stopped at the door.
“Sutton, I’m saying this to you as your friend and nothing more,” he started. “I can’t be around you until you figure your shit out. I’m tired of being your second choice. You have to figure out your worth and I can’t hold your hand until you get there. It’s driving me crazy.”
She stared up at him, eyes welling up with tears, and realized that the best thing in her life was about to walk away. A rogue tear slipped down her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly hoping that he wouldn’t notice. He did, though, he always did.
He pulled her into his arms, engulfing her in an embrace despite the conversation at hand. She stayed still for a moment, rigid even, until she heard Jake let out a shuddering breath into the crook of her neck. Only then did she reciprocate the hug, arms wrapping around his neck like he was her anchor.
---
May 17th, 2019
Sutton didn’t know what she expected to see when she walked into the club, but it definitely wasn’t Jake dancing on a table in the VIP section. She watched as Charlie grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to solid ground, unable to peel her eyes off the boy who’d become a stranger.
“Did you see him?” she asked Mia.
“I don’t think there’s a single person at this club that didn’t.”
When they reached a table, she glanced back in his direction, but the crowd had grown so thick that she couldn’t find him. Kate, who’d already made a beeline for the bar, found them moments later with drinks in hand. She handed one to each of the girls. She took one glance at Sutton and asked, “What’s the face for?”
“In true Sutton Beckett fashion, Jake was the first thing she saw when we walked in here.”
“Jake’s here?”
“Why do you think we’re here, Kate?” Mia asked. Sutton looked at her with a slight panic to her expression. Mia raised her eyebrows at her with a smirk. “Yeah, I know all your tricks.”
“He posted it on his Instagram story, okay?”
Kate dropped her face into her palms, grumbling, “Why won’t you just call him like a normal person?”
“I’m planning to,” she said defensively. Mia hummed in disagreement. “What? I will! Eventually. Like at the end of the season probably.” The girls groaned at that answer. “I don’t even know if he wants to talk to me. He said he didn’t wanna be around until I figured my shit out.”
“Yeah, and you broke up with Garrett two months ago!” Kate exclaimed while Mia grunted, “You like sabotaging yourself, don’t you?”
“You both suck.”
After Jake left that morning, Sutton felt like she cried forever. The door shut behind him and she sank down to the floor and sobbed. Mia and Kate came to her rescue immediately. They listened to her when she wanted to talk about it and, finally, helped her cleanse the apartment of all traces of Garrett. Mia even went as far as purchasing sage to burn. They packed his things into a box and placed it on the floor beside the door with plans to drop it off to him the next day.
When Sutton called him to end it and let him know she was dropping his shit off, he didn’t pick up. It continued for another two days before Kate and Mia were tugging her out to the streets in pursuit of his office building. She ultimately found him flirting with the receptionist in his office and dropped the box to the floor. She kicked it over to him, sending the contents flying.
“Go fuck yourself, Garrett.”
“I never liked you,” Mia echoed. Sutton marched toward the exit, ignoring the protests coming from her scumbag ex’s mouth. She grabbed the girls’ arms and dragged them out with her. “Fuck you, Garrett!”
Sutton didn’t cry over Garrett, but she did cry over Jake. She would be crazy not to.
As she drained her first drink of the night, Sutton couldn’t help but search the bar for Jake and his teammates. She didn’t want to be surprised by him because, truthfully, she wasn’t sure she was ready to see him.
“I honestly don’t know why we even came here,” she muttered, chewing on one of the ice cubes from her cup. “We should leave.”
“We’re not leaving,” Mia barked. “We came here for a reason, whether you think so or not, and you’re going to get what you came for.”
Sutton glared at her, Mia glared back, and Kate watched in amusement until Sutton finally gave in. She grabbed her drink and knocked it back in one swift movement before standing.
“I’m going to get another.”
The girls cheered as she stepped away from them and began to nudge her way through the crowd. She found a break in congestion a few steps ahead. But, just as she was about to slip in, a solid body stepped in front of her. She was about to apologize when she glanced up to see Charlie McAvoy.
His eyes blew wide when he saw her. He was convinced that he was seeing things, but he knew there was no way he was drunk enough for that. He reached out, setting a hand tentatively against her forearm and she waited patiently for him to snap back to reality.
“Does Jake know you’re here?” he asked, eyes searching the area around them frantically. She shook her head, slightly embarrassed by his reaction. He looked back at her. “Why haven’t you called?” Before she could answer, he frowned. “You haven’t broken up with that asshole.”
“I did.”
“Then, why haven’t you called him?”
“We didn’t exactly leave off on the best terms,” she said. Charlie rolled his eyes, shoving Sutton lightly towards the bar. She ordered, he ordered, and he scolded her when she tried to pay for her own drink. Then, he tugged her off towards the VIP section.
Jake saw Charlie first and flung himself out of the booth to swipe his new drink from his hands. And then he saw Sutton over his shoulder and his face dropped. Charlie slipped away, leaving the two face-to-face. He squinted at her, like he was trying to process the image in front of him.
“When did you break up with him?”
“A few days after we argued,” she said. He stilled, mind racing as he tried to figure out the timeline.
“Sutton, you’ve been single for two months and you haven’t called?”
“I was scared.”
“Would you have even called me if you hadn’t seen me tonight? Or would I still be wondering?”
“Of course not,” she defended herself. “I was going to tell you at the end of the season.”
He looked uncertain for a moment, but then his features softened and he wrapped his arms around her. He ducked so that his head was in the crook of your neck. She could feel the soft sigh that left his lips against her skin.
“I miss you.”
Sutton relaxed against him, relieved that he didn’t seem angry at her in the moment. They stood there for a moment, ignoring the hooting and hollering from his teammates at the booth. When he pulled away, he gazed down at her adoringly. “You look beautiful.”
“You look happy,” she said. She ran her fingers through his hair, playing into his sweetness despite her better judgement.
“Are you happy?” he asked, face suddenly serious. She nodded, corners of her lips turning up at his question. His eyes searched her face. “I’m proud of you.”
Before either of them could say anything more, Charlie’s girlfriend appeared with a tray of shots and they were swept up into a crowd of his teammates and their plus-ones, all reaching for shots for themselves.
Sutton stepped backwards to make space and ended up stumbling over Jake’s feet, her back bumping into his chest. Instead of stepping away, drunk Jake dropped a hand to her hip to steady her. He was tingly all over, liquor coursing through him, and when he felt her relax into his touch, he allowed himself to wrap his arm around her stomach to hold her instead. She leaned into him happily.
Someone called out a toast and everyone tossed their shots back with a mixture of grunts and exclamations at the taste. The group dispersed after and, though Jake dropped his arm from around her, he placed his hand in hers moments later to search the bar for Kate and Mia.
The look at their faces when they saw Sutton and Jake hand in hand was comical. They were practically bursting at the seams with excitement and hopped out of the booth to embrace the two in a hug.
“We missed you!” Mia all but yelled in Jake’s face. His drunken giggles got the best of him then, squeezing her a little tighter in response.
+
Unlike the first time they danced together at a club, Jake wasted no time in grinding up against her. His arms wrapped around her waist and her fingers followed, trailing along his arms until she could curl her fingers between his.
When she turned to face him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His fingers danced along the skin of her back and he smiled when he noticed the goosebumps on her arms. He leaned in just enough to speak lowly into her ear, lips just inches away. “Sleep over tonight.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Jake,” she said. When he pouted, she reached up and thumbed his bottom lip with a smirk. “You’re too drunk for a sleepover, I think, but I’ll get you home like you did for me.”
“Like the night you kissed me?” he asked with a teasing smile. She dropped her forehead to his shoulder to hide the blush that was creeping up her neck to her cheeks. He chuckled softly, tilting his head to kiss her cheek and murmur in her ear, “I’m ready to go when you are.”
During the fifteen-minute cab drive to Jake’s apartment, he just seemed to just get drunker. He was giggly, chatty, and clingy. His fingers danced along Sutton’s calves, which he’d pulled onto his lap the minute they pulled away from the club. She watched him engage their driver in mindless conversation, smiling softly to herself every time he said something stupid and giggled at himself.
When they pulled up to his building, Jake paid and left the guy behind the wheel a fat tip. Then, he was pulling Sutton out of the car and into the lobby. He wrapped his arms around Sutton’s shoulders and pulled her against his chest as they waited for the elevator.
The doors opened with a ding and Sutton slipped to the corner while Jake pressed the button to his floor. He swayed uneasily on his feet as the elevator jolted upwards. She reached out to steady him, just a soft touch of her hand against his bicep. He turned with a smile.
“Sutton, Sutton, Sutton.”
“What?”
He stepped forward, boxing her into the corner of the elevator. She gazed up at him, finding it hard to breathe as he got closer. He rested his hands against the rail on either side of him and smiled.
“I want to kiss you so bad right now,” he whispered. She leaned away from him slightly, a frown developing as she did so. And though she was hesitant, her heart was hammering in her chest, begging her to attach her lips to his.
“You’re drunk.”
“Sure, but what does that matter?”
“We can’t just do this whenever one of us can’t handle our liquor,” she murmured. His face dropped. “It makes it difficult to tell if we mean it.”
“Trust me, I mean it,” he told her. “I want to kiss you when we’re sober as fuck eating leftovers on your kitchen floor; I want to kiss you when I’m hammered and can barely keep my hands off you.”
The elevator doors opened and Sutton, desperate to move on from this conversation, pushed him out of the car and down the hall.
The moment they entered the apartment, he went to his room to change and returned with a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for her. He watched her happily from his perch on the counter as she walked about the kitchen in his clothes. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss her, touch her.
“Drink this,” she said, handing a glass of water over to him. She leaned up against the counter across form him. “You’re going to be so hungover tomorrow.”
“That’s why you should stay over,” he said. “You can nurse me back to health tomorrow morning.”
“Not gonna happen, DeBrusk.”
“Was worth a try,” he slurred. Sutton laughed at the rise and fall of his shoulders as he shrugged before chugging the water from his cup. After dropping the cup in the sink, he turned back and shook his head at her in amusement.
“What?”
“I’ve just missed you,” he told her. He took a few steps toward her before dropping his hands to counter on either side of her and leaned in. He was intoxicating. The smile on his face made her weak in the knees, but she couldn’t just act like there hadn’t been a fight and two months of silence between them.
“I’ve missed you, too,” she said. “We should really talk when you’re sober.”
“Let’s just talk now.”
“I’m not going to count this as a conversation.”
“Why not?”
“Because what if you don’t remember?”
Jake’s eyes studied her face and he realized the seriousness of her question. He leaned away then and sighed out, “Okay.”
“Let’s get you to bed, drunkie,” she murmured. She slipped past him, fingers catching on his wrist to tug him along. They stopped in the bathroom so he could brush his teeth and he wouldn’t stop glancing at her the entire way through the rest of his nightly routine as if he was worried she might disappear into thin air.
When they got back into his room, he picked her up and dropped her onto his bed.
“Jake!”
“Just stay for a little bit longer,” he whined. She rolled her eyes, laughter falling easily from her lips as he rolled off her to change into pajamas. He boldly dropped his pants and glanced over his shoulder just to see if she was looking, chuckling to himself when he saw her with her hands over her eyes.
He dropped onto the bed and hovered over her, grin on his face.
“I need to tell you something,” he said, slur in his voice still evident. She raised her eyebrows and pressed her hands against his chest to create some distance between them. “I want to be your boyfriend.”
“Jake,” she whispered. “You’re hammered!”
“Yeah, and I still want to be your boyfriend when I’m sober.”
“I told you I didn’t want to have this conversation right now,” she groaned. He dropped to the side of her and propped himself up on his elbow. “If you really mean it, I need you to tell me when you’re not drunk.”
“I will,” he said. “I promise.”
---
June 12th, 2019
They didn’t talk to anytime soon, and Sutton kept trying to convince herself that it was because he was in the Stanley Cup finals so he was busy, not because he regretted everything he said when he was drunk. But, as time went on, she felt more and more defeated. She waited patiently, though, hoping that she’d get some sort of closure at the end of the season.
She watched the entire series against the St. Louis Blues at the edge of her seat. Game seven had ripped her heart out, like many others in the city, but her first thought went to Jake. She almost felt sick to her stomach thinking about it.
Vice versa, the first person Jake thought about when he left the ice was Sutton. He thought about her through each post-game interview and his post-game routine, and as soon as he was in the parking garage he was texting her.
Did you watch?
He dropped his forehead against the wheel and waited for a response. He wasn’t even positive there’d be one after the shit he pulled at the bar and the silence that followed.
There’s a key under my welcome mat
He started the car immediately and drove in complete silence to Sutton’s apartment. He rushed upstairs, eager to fall into her bed. When he lifted the welcome mat, he let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the key and opened the door. He placed his bag down and kicked off his shoes before locking up behind him and heading off to her room.
When he opened the door, the light from the hallway filtered in and stirred her awake. She leaned up on her elbow and murmured, “I pulled out a toothbrush for you and there are sweats and a t-shirt you can wear at the end of the bed.”
He smiled softly, grabbing the clothes from the bed and turning to go brush his teeth. When he returned, she was leaning up against the headboard waiting for him.
“Are you okay?” she asked. Jake shuffled up towards the headboard of her bed just enough to drop his head to her stomach. A shuddering breath fell from his parted lips as he shook his head that indicated no, he was not okay. She curled her fingers into his hair and leaned down to place a kiss against the top of his head. His arms wrapped around her and the weight of the world disappeared, if only for a second. “I’m proud of you.”
+
When Sutton woke up the next morning, Jake was gone and her stomach dropped. She moved slowly out of bed and then, as panic set in, she quickened her steps through the apartment. The sound of the kitchen cabinets opening and closing greeted her. And when she reached the kitchen so did Jake’s tired smile.
“Good morning,” he said. She watched his cheeks turn pink and felt hers do the same. He motioned to the pan on the stove. “I started making breakfast.”
“I see that.”
“Coffee?”
“I’ll make it,” she offered, walking past Jake to the coffee maker on the other end of the counter. She didn’t catch Jake watching, didn’t feel his eyes wander along her body. She almost caught him when she turned to ask how he took his coffee, but he was quick to divert his eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call after the night at the club,” he said suddenly. “Or text.”
Sutton continued for him, feeling the anger she’d built up over the past few weeks begin to boil over. “Or Snapchat. Or really do anything to assure me that things were okay between us.”
Jake frowned, turning his attention back to the eggs on the stovetop. They continued putting breakfast together in silence and reconvened at the kitchen table when the coffee was done and the eggs and toast were plated.
“I mean, you weren’t exactly jumping at the chance to tell me that you weren’t with Garrett anymore,” Jake argued. She sighed, fork clattering to her plate as she leaned back in her seat.
“You told me you didn’t want to talk until I had all my shit together!”
“And do you not?”
“I have no idea!” she exclaimed. “I wanted to call you the moment that I broke up with him. It was my first thought, but then I stopped myself because I thought of how unfair that would be to myself.”
“Why?”
“I haven’t been just Sutton in three years, Jake,” she said. “I’ve been Garrett’s doting girlfriend for three years. Everything I did, I did with him in mind.” She paused. “Then you come along, and suddenly I’m thinking about you, too. For once, I want to just think about myself.”
She continued, “I don’t even know myself. I feel like I’m rediscovering these parts of me that I haven’t thought about in years. I’ve been doing things to make me happy and I’ve been applying to new jobs because I want something more for myself and I finally feel motivated to fight for it. I feel different.”
He felt warm all over, buzzing from the inside out. He didn’t realize how much it would mean to him to hear her say that she was finally fighting for herself. Hearing her explain how she was feeling overwhelmed him with a sense of pride, and in that moment, he couldn’t help but smile at her.
“I guess that’s a good enough reason not to call,” Jake resigned.
“Why haven’t you called?”
“Because I was scared of what I might find out,” he answered. “That you were still with him.” He paused and then shook his head. “And I didn’t call after the club because I couldn’t remember any of the things I said and I was worried that I did something stupid.”
“You don’t remember?” she asked, her fears coming true.
“Not much.”
“Oh,” she whispered. “Okay.”
He was lying. He remembered every moment of that night spent with her. The image of her in his t-shirt swallowing her whole, the look on her face when he told her how he felt, the blush that crept up her neck to her cheeks. How could he forget it?
Mia entered the room then, cutting the conversation off before it could go anywhere else.
“Ooo! You made bacon!” she exclaimed, snatching a strip from the plate at the center of the table. Her eyes cut from Sutton’s face to Jake’s and she smiled at the sight. “Happy to have you back, Jake.”
---
June 15th, 2019
Three days after the game seven loss, Jake was still feeling the heartbreak of it. He wondered if there would be a day that he didn’t. He spent a lot of time in his apartment, ordering Postmates for food to be dropped at his door so he didn’t have to see anyone he didn’t want to. The only time he’d left was for locker clean-out.
He saw Sutton every day and, though the visits were welcomed, he realized as they sat on the couch and watched shit reality shows that there was still a lot to be said.
He wanted to tell her how he felt about her again, but he kept his mouth shut. Friendship with Sutton was something he’d gotten used to, and he could continue living like this for now. Besides, he’d be leaving Boston soon and he didn’t want to start something that he couldn’t commit all his time to. She deserved to be the center of his world.
On the morning of the fifteenth, Sutton picked him up to drive him to the airport feeling like shit. It had been weeks since they saw each other at the bar, which meant weeks since he admitted his feelings and nothing had been said about it. He said he didn’t remember much, but she wondered if he really did and was just regretting what had been said.
Conversation on the way to the airport was mundane. He talked about all the things he was excited to do at home, like seeing his family and friends, and asked about what she’d do while he was gone, and she sighed heavily before answering, “Work.”
After she parked the car at the curb of the terminal, she reached over for the handle of the door, but Jake grabbed her other wrist to get her attention.
“I lied to you,” he blurted out. “I remember everything I said to you after the club. I wasn’t going to say anything because I love that you’re just being Sutton right now. But, I also don’t want to leave Boston without telling you how I feel.”
“Fuck you!” she exclaimed after releasing long sigh. He started laughing and stepped out of the car. She scrambled after him towards the trunk to grab his things. He was grinning ear-to-ear. “I thought you didn’t remember or you regretted it!”
“You’re crazy to think I’d ever regret you,” he said, fingers coming up to brush her cheekbone. Sutton blushed hard. “Seriously.”
“Your timing is shit,” she said. Jake curled his arm around her shoulders and embraced her. “Why would you admit your feelings and then fly off to Canada? That’s bullshit.”
“I don’t want you revolving your life around us right now,” he said. He pulled back and pressed his lips to her forehead, even though he desperately wanted to kiss her lips. Then, he pulled away completely. “You have three months to just be you, but then I’m coming back for you.”
---
September 1st, 2019
Jake and Sutton were both shaking like leafs as they made their way to each other on the morning of September 1st, him on the plane, her in her car on the way to pick him up. The summer was full of fresh starts. For Sutton, she ended up in a new position with a corner office at work. Jake had the summer to reset, spend time with his family, and relax.
Together, it was a fresh start to their relationship and more time to get to know each other.
Although they weren’t officially together, they talked on the phone at least once a week, but usually more. They flirted with the idea of the future through conversations about dates they’d go on when he got back and movies they needed to watch together. It felt like all the pieces of the puzzle were finally together, all Jake needed to do was come back to Boston.
And he was finally home.
Sutton stood beside her car as she waited for him to emerge from baggage claim. Her hands were shaking and her stomach felt sick, but the moment she saw him, it all went away. She sprinted over and threw herself into his open arms, giggling as his bags hit the pavement.
He wrapped his arms around her so tightly he thought she might snap in half. Then, she looked up at him, wide smile on her face, and all he could ask was, “Can I please kiss you like I’ve been wanted to all summer?”
“I might die if you don’t.”
And then the world fell away and it was just Jake and Sutton, finally kissing on purpose.
+
“Where are we going?”
“Stop asking questions!”
Sutton knew exactly where he was taking her, but she was hoping the question would make him rethink it. The door just before the stairs had ROOF ACCESS stamped across it.
“Won’t we get into trouble?”
Jake paused then, turning to answer, “Of course not. I slipped the security guards $50 to let us up here.”
Sutton laughed loudly at that and allowed him to continue tugging her along.
After picking him up at the airport, they spent the day re-exploring Boston. They walked in parks and talked on benches for hours on end, like they hadn’t spoken all summer, and then Sutton brought him to her office building to show off her new office. He kissed her in front of her desk and congratulated her for the hundredth time before whisking her off to dinner reservations he’d made a few weeks prior. By the time dinner ended, the two of them were drunk on each other, giggling and dancing down the streets to his apartment.
Jake pushed the door to the roof open and stepped out, tugging Sutton along with him towards the edge of the roof. She laced her fingers through his and followed happily. When he slowed to a stop, she halted beside him, resting her cheek against his arm. The city was alive beneath them, lights shining on them like a spotlight.
“I’ve always wanted to bring you up here,” he spoke, glancing down at her. She was already looking up at him, soft smile playing on her lips. “But I didn’t think it was appropriate to bring you up here if we were ‘just friends.’”
“We were never really just friends, huh?”
“Not at all,” he answered with a laugh. “You were delusional.”
That moment felt so poignant to Sutton, like it was the moment that was going to change everything. She turned to fold into his chest and his arms curled around her, filling her with a warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Do you want this, Sutton?” he asked, voice just above a whisper. She looked up at him, eyes searching his face, falling to his lips as he spoke his next words. “Do you want to be with me?”
“More than anything.”
---
October 18th, 2019
“He’s going to pass out when he sees you.”
“God, I hope not,” Sutton murmured, fingers still covering the small smile on her lips as she gazed at herself in the lingerie she was modeling for her roommates. Her eyes cut back to the two of them. “You don’t think it’s too much?”
“Not at all,” Mia said. Kate shook her head, eyes still taking in all the little bows and lace on the set. She sighed suddenly and grunted, “Now you’re making me want to buy lingerie. I don’t even have a boyfriend.”
Sutton snorted before turning back to her reflection to admire herself once more.
They’d officially been dating a little over a month and it was a dream. It was fun to get to know each other in a different, more intimate way and little by little all the walls were being broken down between them, not that there were too many to begin with.
Jake’s 23rd birthday was October 17th, but because he had a game, they couldn’t celebrate the way they’d been planning to. Fortunately, his next two days were free, so Sutton booked a stay at an Airbnb in Cape Cod.
She was all nerves and anxiety leading up to the trip, simply because of the mounting pressure that came with not having had sex with him yet. They’d spent the past month exploring each other with their hands and their mouths, but it was never taken any farther than that.
Only twice had they gotten close to it.
The first occurrence was about a week after the season started. He’d been away on a four-game road trip and by the time he got home, he was exhausted. Sutton was waiting for him when he got home the next afternoon and he collapsed into her arms on the couch until he was ready to cleanse himself of the remnants of loss and airplane germs.
“Come shower with me.”
“Jake,” she murmured hesitantly, threading her fingers through his hair.
“C’mon,” he whined through a pout. “I missed you.”
“Fine.”
She followed him to his room and popped her phone onto the charger while he stripped himself of his clothes. His hands found their way around her waist, sliding underneath her sweatshirt to pull it over her head. When Sutton turned to face him, he captured her lips with his and she moaned against his lips happily.
He shed her of her clothes as they kissed slowly, but as soon as she was standing naked in front of him, she pushed him towards the bathroom, too nervous for what could come next, unsure if she was even ready to go there.
Jake held her close beneath the warmth of the water, fingers traveling along her spine, into her hair, gripping her ass. Her hands were just the same, feeling his every muscle constrict beneath her touch, listening to him shudder when her hands traveled below his hips. He was hard against her lower abdomen,
“I’m not ready,” she blurted out. The second the words were out in the open she was clasping her hands over her mouth. Jake took a step back, his hands falling from her skin to his sides.
“Ready for what?”
“Sex.”
“Okay, that’s okay,” he murmured, placing another soft kiss against her lips. “I can wait.”
The second time was after a night spent with Charlie and his girlfriend, drinking wine and watching shitty movies. She was going to spend the night at Jake’s anyway, so when they got back to his apartment, they got ready for bed and cuddled up under the covers together—him in a pair of boxers, her in underwear and a t-shirt of his. She woke up in the middle of the night with Jake wrapped around her, his erection against her ass. As she pulled his arms tighter to her, he stirred and rutted his hips against her.
“Sleeping with you is so hard.”
“Why? Cause you’re always hard?” she asked with a laugh. He hummed affirmatively, pressing into her a bit more. She turned around and kissed him softly. His eyes fluttered open at the feather light touch of her lips, and then he was on her, kissing her while his hands gripped her ass. In seconds, he had her on top of him, straddling his lap.
“You’re so wet right now,” he murmured as she rubbed against his bulge. Sutton was thankful for the veil of darkness in his room because she was bright red and flustered. He gripped her hips and guided her hips. “C’mon, use me, baby.”
She began to grind against him as they made out and he kept her hips down, rutting up into her to help her towards orgasm. It didn’t take long, the friction against her clit had her breathing heavily into the crook of his neck in no time and as her orgasm washed over her, he helped her through it by continuing to guide her hips against him.
“Fuck,” she sighed, and he laughed gently, wrapping his arms around her to keep her close to his chest. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” he spoke. “That was hot.”
And that was the extent of it. But now, he was turning another year older and she wanted to give him a gift to remember.
“Hey, baby,” he greeted as soon as Sutton opened the apartment door. He swept her up into a hug and kissed her full on the mouth while Mia and Kate aww’d behind them. “Hey, ladies.”
“Happy birthday!”
“Thank you, thank you,” he responded before placing one more kiss on Sutton’s lips. They detached from each other long enough for Jake to grab Sutton’s overnight bag. “Are you ready to go? I’ve been itching to get out of this city with you.”
Jake led her to the car, hand-in-hand, chattering on about the game he played the night before and Sutton hung on his every word, like she always did. He loaded her things into the trunk beside his and slid into the driver’s seat, handing the aux over to her—the only person he ever let control the music in his car.
As soon as they pulled onto the highway, Sutton blurted, “I want to have sex with you.”
“Yeah? I want to have sex with you, too,” he responded, goofy smile playing at his lips. His eyes were still trained on the road, like she hadn’t just divulged this important information to him. She laughed softly and reached out to take his free hand.
“No, like tonight,” she said. He looked over at her with wide eyes. “Eyes on the road.”
“You can’t say something like that and expect me to pay attention to much else,” he grunted, though he was now grinning from ear-to-ear. He squeezed her hand lightly. “Are you serious? You want to?”
“Yes.”
“Birthday sex,” he murmured, chuckling at himself. She laughed with him and shoved his hand away playfully only for him to drop it to her thigh, a little higher than usual, and hit the gas.
+
Jake was a pest at dinner.
Even though they’d been seated at a table across from each other, he pulled his chair around to sit beside her. His hand rested against her thigh the entire time, fingers gripping every once in a while to get a rise out of her.
When asked if they wanted a dessert menu, Jake was quick to turn it down.
“No, I think we’re alright,” he answered. Sutton turned to protest, it was his birthday after all, and he’d probably get a free dessert, but he shook his head at her. “Thank you, though. Everything was delicious.”
“You don’t want dessert?” Sutton asked as soon as the waitress stepped away.
Jake smiled and leaned in close to whisper in your ear, “You’re my dessert, Sutt.”
The ride back to the Airbnb felt way too long and the anticipation of the night ahead had Jake buzzing from the moment they got into the car after dinner to the moment he was sitting in a chair in the living room, waiting for her.
“You can’t touch!” she called from behind the bedroom door. His eyes were locked on it, carefully watching the handle so he could prepare himself.
“Sutton, you’re evil.”
“Promise me!”
“I promise, baby. Come on.”
She pulled the door open and his eyes drank her in. Then, her robe fell to the floor and he released a shaky breath. He leaned forward in the chair, elbows resting on his knees as he braced his hands together to keep himself from touching her.
“Sutton, I don’t know how you expect me to keep myself from touching you when you’re wearing that.”
“Do you want your birthday gift or not?”
“I really fucking want my birthday gift.”
“Then, you’ll find a way to keep your hands to yourself.”
Jake leaned back against the chair with a frustrated sigh, eyes still glued to the lace clinging to her body. He swallowed thickly as his eyes trailed over her chest, landing on the little bow between her breasts before meeting her eyes again.
In the sweetest voice, he murmured, “You’re so pretty.”
A blush crept up her cheeks, smile betraying the seductive front she was trying to show, and she sighed, “How am I supposed to act sexy when you’re making me blush like this?”
“You’re always sexy,” he spoke, voice low again. “You don’t need to act.”
She walked over to him, shaking her head when he reached for her again, and straddled his lap, fingers threading through his hair as he gazed up at her. His hands hung limp on either side of him and his fingers twitched as she grinded against his bulge.
“This is so unfair,” he grunted. She kissed his neck, sucking a mark into it as she continued to rub against him. “Who knew you were such a tease?”
“Who knew you were so chatty?”
“Shut me up then,” he challenged with a cocky smirk. Sutton rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop her lips from curling into a smirk as well. She sunk down to her knees, pushing his thighs open before fumbling with his belt and his eyes watched her hungrily. He lifted himself from the chair and let her pull them down, leaving him in just his boxers.
“Take your shirt off.”
He threw it off eagerly, tossing it over her shoulder to the other side of the room.
Sutton flattened her hands against his chest and ran her fingers over his muscles as they constricted beneath her touch. His breath was already unsteady. It was painful not being able to touch her when she looked so damn good. She kissed along his chest and down his abs to the waistband of his boxers. A breathless curse fell from his lips as she tugged them down.
In no time, she was working him with her hands and then her lips were wrapping around his length. He gathered her hair in his fist and gently pulled it back and out of her face, watching in awe, mouth ajar as she bobbed her head on his dick. She looked up at him sweetly, eyelashes fluttering against her cheekbones as she watched him unravel. He moaned as she took him deeper, hitting the back of her throat.
His other hand flew to his own face and ran through his hair, gripping the roots as he felt his orgasm beginning to bloom in the pit of his stomach. Jake never lasted long when she was on her knees. Her mouth worked wonders for him.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he muttered, grip on her hair getting tighter. His hips thrust up involuntarily and she gagged around his cock, but didn’t stop. He threw his head back with a groan as she deep throated him and then he finally came. She swallowed it, sucking him dry as he became a moaning mess beneath her. “Fuck, Sutton, fuck.”
She pulled her mouth off his cock with a pop and licked her lips as his gaze returned to her. He dropped his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her up to him. The lace of her lingerie scratched against the bare skin of his chest and when she straddled him as they kissed, he could feel how wet she was underneath.
“You’re so wet, princess,” he whispered into her kiss. One hand slid along her thigh up to her pussy. He pushed the fabric to the side and slid his fingers along her folds. “I love it when you suck my dick, but I can’t wait to fuck you.” He inserted two fingers into her pussy and she moaned as he curled them against her g-spot. “You’re so wet, so ready for me. Do you want my cock, angel?”
Sutton nodded, a whimper falling from her lips as he pulled his fingers out of her. He stood, wrapping her legs around his waist so he could walk her into the bedroom. When he lowered her onto the bed carefully, he kissed along her skin from the valley of her breasts to her lips.
“Do you like your gift?”
“I love it,” he whispered against her throat. His fingers trailed along the lace covering her pussy. “You bought it for me? Just me?” She nodded, breath catching in her throat as he rubbed her through the fabric. “Happy birthday, JD.”
She giggled at his dorky expression and that little smile on his lips, but she shut up the moment he pushed the lingerie to the side. His fingers began to massage her folds again, coaxing sweet moans from her as he sunk the fingers into her heat and curled them once more.
“I never get tired of your moans,” he murmured. “And I can’t wait to hear what you sound like when I’m fucking you.” She swallowed thickly, his words so dirty compared to how he often joked with her. He noticed her reaction and smiled. “Do you like it when I talk to you like this, Sutton?”
“Yeah, I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“You’re gonna learn a lot of new things about me.”
Sutton giggled and he did just the same because nothing between the two of them could ever stay serious. They just liked each other too much to not be smiling, giggling messes at all times.
“As much as I like this lingerie,” he began, fingers dancing along the bows. “How do I take it off?”
Sutton sat up with a laugh and reached behind her to unclasp the bra. It fell away and she tossed it onto the floor. Jake hooked his fingers beneath the waistband of the panties and pulled them down, throwing them onto the floor as well. His hands were everywhere all at once, cupping her breasts, teasing her core.
He pushed her thighs apart and slotted himself between them as he began kissing her again, the head of his cock brushing against her clit as he leaned in. Her sharp intake of breath shattered the silence in the room.
“Jake, I want you,” she pleaded. He released an uneasy breath, cheeks flushed pink as he reached out to grab the condom from the nightstand and ripped the wrapper open with shaking hands. Sutton reached up and took it from him, asking, “Are you nervous?”
“A little bit, I think. It’s because I like you too much.”
“Too much?”
“It’s not a complaint,” he responded, capturing her lips in a kiss. He sucked in a breath and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as Sutton rolled the condom over his cock. “Fuck.”
She laid back against the pillows once it was on and Jake admired her body, laid out for him. His hands travelled up her sides, back to her breasts, along the skin of her neck and her cheeks. He nudged her thighs apart some more with his knees.
“Are you ready?” he asked. She nodded, accepting his kiss before he reached down and aligned himself with her entrance. One hand rested beside her head and his other wrapped around his cock as he pushed the head into her. She sighed as he entered her some more, finally releasing his member from his hand and caging her head in on both sides with his hands.
He shuddered as he filled her up, the feeling of her warmth all too consuming. His forehead dropped to her shoulder as he bottomed out and she sighed out a moan, wrapping her legs around his waist to take him deeper.
“You feel so good,” he muttered, barely able to get the words out. He let out a shaky laugh and halted his movements to steady his breath. “Hold on. I need a minute.” Sutton furrowed her brows as he leaned back. He gazed down at her body, down at his body and the place they fit together. “If you told me back in March that this is where we’d be seven months later, I wouldn’t have believed you.”
“No?”
“No, you’re my dream girl,” he spoke, leaning in to kiss her again. He pulled out slowly and then pushed back into her. As she sighed beneath him, he spoke against her lips, “You’re so far out of my league.”
“Jake,” she whispered, fingers carding through his hair. He glanced up at her again. “You’re perfect for me.”
Their next kiss was passionate and full of fire, and he began to thrust faster, pulling her leg higher on his waist to hit deeper. The sound of their moans mixing and their bodies together filled the room. He spoke praises to her about how beautiful she was, how good she felt. She kissed him until her lips were bruised.
His thrusts were slow and calculated and he tried to look her in the eye to see how she looked when she was filled with him. The view was beautiful with her lips plump and her eyes wide. She watched him intently, overwhelmed by this moment, overwhelmed that she was finally with him like they’d wanted to be for so long.
She rutted her hips up to get more friction from him and he dropped his hand to her clit, hoping to help her reach the peak before he had his second orgasm of the night. Her nails scratched his back as her toes began to curl.
“Please,” she moaned.
“What’s up, baby? What do you need?”
“Fuck me harder.”
Jake lifted her leg up to rest against his shoulder and dirty, loud moans filled the room as he fucked her. She looked so pretty beneath him, eyes squeezed shut as her back arched off the mattress. He coached her through it, talkative as always, and she shuddered beneath him as he reached the peak, pussy fluttering around his cock. Her chest heaved as he fucked her through the orgasm and, finally, he poured into the condom as he reached his own.
He didn’t pull out until he was soft, and even then, he hardly moved away from her, opting instead to just drop his weight against her in bed. Her fingers carded through his hair and he relaxed into her touch, leaving lazy kisses against her skin. Finally, he pulled himself off her and moved up the bed to rest his head beside hers on the pillow.
They stared at each other for a long time without saying a word.
Jake couldn’t believe his luck, couldn’t believe that this girl was his, finally. He threaded his fingers through her hair to see her face properly and sighed before leaning in to press a kiss to the top of her nose.
“You’re my best friend,” he whispered. “I’m so happy we’re together.”
“Me too.”
Sutton’s heart felt like it could explode from happiness. After all the times she’d been mistreated, all the bullshit she went through with Garrett, she was finally with someone who understood her, both inside and out. Jake looked at her like she put the stars in the sky and it made her melt.
“I think I could spend the rest of my life with you,” he spoke, voice cracking a bit with emotion as his eyes bore into hers. “I love you, Sutton.”
“Jake,” she sighed out, tears coming to her eyes. She reached up, swiping a thumb along his cheekbone and he tilted his head to press a kiss to her palm. “I love you, too.”
#jake debrusk fic#jake debrusk imagine#jake debrusk story#hockey imagine#mk writes#nhl imagine#hockey rpf#boston bruins imagine#boston bruins fic
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i don’t remember me (before you) - j. debrusk [part ii]
Pairing: Jake DeBrusk x female!OC
Summary: Could it be more cliche than falling in love with your neighbor when she wasn’t exactly available? What happens when getting her to fall in love with you isn’t even the hard part?
Word Count: 9,077
A/N: so, part ii - maybe one day i’ll get good at summaries and update them accordingly but honestly, no promises. this one has a LOT of warnings and i’ll adore any and all feedback.
Warnings: adult themes, alcohol consumption, abuse [very much the abuse in this part so please be warned], shitty boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, swearing...I think that’s it
part ii
“I have travelled many miles, I don't wanna walk no more
Every road and every highway led me right back to your door” -lord huron
Jake was pretty sure he’d never seen Alina nervous before. Normally she was the quintessential Russian: serious, blank face that belied nothing about how she was feeling. But right now she was tapping her foot nervously and gnawing on her bottom lip. Her hair was up in a little half ponytail thing and he forgot he usually only saw her in scrubs, his sweats or a mini dress for a night out. This version of Alina was softer, not as sexy as ‘club Alina’ but he thought he might like it better. She had on a pair of ripped jeans with a loose cardigan buttoned up, cutting in a low v on her chest. They didn’t speak much in the car ride over but Jake kept a hand on her knee, rubbing at the bare skin he could get to.
When she’d showed up at his apartment after getting ready, she shoved a bottle of wine into his hand and anxiously asked if he thought it would be good enough. Jake had managed to make her laugh when he’d snorted at her, asking how it was she thought he would know what wine was good or not.
That same bottle was now being grasped tightly in one hand, her other squeezing at his thigh tightly.
“Ease up, Leenie – you’re gonna leave a mark.” He teased, tapping her hand softly.
“Oh! Sorry, Jed.” But she didn’t loosen her grip much and he just let her keep clinging to him. He realized while she was usually a blank face to everyone around her, lately – more often than not – she was completely and purely herself around him. It’s like a wall that had been blocking back emotions before had come down and now everything she thought played clearly on her face for him to see. But only for him.
It wasn’t a long ride to get to Charlie’s and when they pulled up, Jake went to climb out of the car but realized that Alina was still sitting quietly in the back seat.
“Maybe you should just go without me. I can have him take me back home.” She nodded at the driver who was frowning and looked like he was a minute away from yelling at them to get in or out.
“Nope.” Jake responded, reaching into the car and physically dragging her out. She stumbled slightly as she hit the curb and he managed to shut the door to the car mere seconds before the driver pulled away.
“Jake…” she practically whined. “They don’t like me. I should just go, you’ll have a better time without me.”
“Leenie, if you don’t go, I’m sure as hell not going. I spend all my time with these idiots, I want to be wherever you are.” The hesitance remained on her face and he stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “If you really don’t want to go, we’ll go home. Or out to dinner. Whatever you want. Ride or die.”
That earned him a giggle. “Ride or die?”
“I’m your ride or die, whatever you want, we’ll do.” He nodded seriously until she finally gave him a smile, her facing turning determined.
“Okay. We’ll go. But if they’re not nice to you, I’m gonna let ‘em have it.”
“I expect nothing less.” He teased, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. Forehead kisses had become more and more frequent. As had holding hands, cuddling and the way Alina would nudge her nose into his neck, brushing her lashes against his skin. At this point, they were more affectionate than he’d been with any previous girlfriend.
It still wasn’t enough but he instinctively knew he needed to go slow, knew that he couldn’t risk pushing her into something she wasn’t ready for. Shit, he wasn’t even sure if she felt the same as he did. All he had was a ‘feeling’ that things between them were different, that they were out of the sure footing that had been their friendship and in some weird limbo zone where they were both trying to figure out what the other wanted.
Sighing to himself, he took her free hand and pulled her towards Charlie’s building. He had forgotten to ask exactly who was going to be there and now that they were in the elevator, he felt a little panicky about what they were walking into.
While he’d deny it to her, he knew Alina wasn’t his friends’ favorite. And her desire to protect him meant she overreacted to the smallest chirp that was thrown his way even when it didn’t bother him. He only hoped that tonight would go okay.
Walking into Charlie’s apartment, Jake immediately felt like this was the wrong decision. There were at least eight couples and some of the girls were looking at Alina critically, from the bottle of wine in her hand to the way she was clinging onto Jake. Looking friendly wasn’t something Alina excelled at so the stoic look that Jake knew came from a place of nervousness or shyness, instead made her look like a mega bitch.
He squeezed her hand gently and turned his face into her ear. “Smile, babe. You look entirely too Russian right now.”
Alina snorted, squeezing his hand back and relaxing slightly, smiling at him. “It’s just my face, I can’t help it.”
Jake rolled his eyes, dropping her hand and placing it on her lower back to lead her through the room. He wanted to find Charlie and, more importantly, Charlie’s girlfriend. Kiley was one of the sweetest girls he knew and had always been kind to Alina, usually the only one she’d talk to while waiting for him after games.
Walking into the kitchen, he found the hosts putting the finishing touch on plates of charcuterie. And really, that just meant they were unwrapping the clearly pre-made platters.
“So much for doing the heavy lifting,” Jake teased, bundling Kiley up into a big hug. Charlie hit him but stepped around him to pull Alina into a hug. Jake noticed her stiffen slightly but return the hug before pulling away quickly.
“Ki – you remember Alina.” Jake gestured, returning to her side and throwing an arm around her shoulders.
“Of course! Welcome.” She pulled her into a hug before accepting the offered bottle of wine. “Oh wow, this is really nice – you shouldn’t have.”
Alina flushed slightly, waving a hand dismissively. “It was always one of my favorites so I thought I’d share.”
“Well thank you.” Kiley said sincerely and Jake couldn’t help smiling at her. Charlie really had found a good one. “I say we open this in here and just save it for the two of us.”
“Great idea.” She grinned back conspiratorially. “Can I help with anything?”
“Grab a few glasses, yeah? And are you any good at opening wine?”
“Am I ever!” she responded, grabbing a wine key and getting to work on the wine she’d brought. “I used to work in my Dedushka’s restaurant, if you fucked up the bottle, you had to pay for it but you also got to drink it.”
Kiley grinned at the story, taking it at face value but Jake’s head shot up at the sound of her talking about being younger. He’d never once heard her mention anything about working in a restaurant.
“What’s a ‘dad-kush-kah’?” Charlie asked earning a little smile from Alina who promptly corrected his pronunciation.
“Grandfather.” She got a little faraway look in her eyes but quickly returned to the task at hand.
“Come on, man – come say hi to the rest of the guys.” Charlie tried to shove him back in the direction of the living room but he dug his heels in, twirling around to escape and slide next to Alina.
He wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning down so only she could hear him. “You okay? I can stay with you.”
It looked like she was thinking about it, her gray eyes searching his before she shook her head slightly. “Go on, I’m good – I’ll be a wine opening maniac.”
Instinctively, he pressed a kiss to her temple and ignored the look that Charlie and Kiley exchanged before following Chuck into the living room. He greeted his teammates and their significant others, smiling good-naturedly as the boys all yelled his name or teased him about one thing or another. He was just happy that Alina didn’t hear them or she’d end up lighting them up in his defense.
He managed to stay in the room for all of fourteen minutes before drifting back into the kitchen. Despite Charlie saying it was going to be just couples, a few of the girlfriends had brought friends and he got the distinct feeling Charlie Coyle’s girlfriend was trying to set him up with one of them. He walked back into the kitchen to find Alina perched on the counter, chatting animatedly with Kiley. He paused in the doorway to watch her as she gestured dramatically with one hand, large glass of wine in the other, only pausing her story to take a long sip and accept a piece of cheese that Ki had handed her. The sweater she had on had slipped off one shoulder and he eyed the bare skin greedily, aching to touch her.
It was a relief to see her getting along with at least one of the girls, a light floaty feeling filled him at the sight. Baby steps, he told himself, baby steps.
Eventually, he couldn’t resist interrupting, moving towards Alina and fitting himself between her legs. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her head on the top of his while continuing to talk to Kiley.
“But yeah, I’m super lucky the other nurses are so experienced and are actually super sweet. Have you been doing nights or days?”
The two girls continued the conversation around him like he hadn’t even joined and he contented himself with sharing Alina’s glass of wine and helping himself to one of the smaller trays that hadn’t been circulated out into the living room yet. They spent the better part of an hour in there, switching to a different bottle when Alina’s fancy one had been finished.
“If you’re not gonna get your own glass, you have to be the refill bitch.” She muttered in his ear, pressing an errant kiss to the side of his head before refocusing on whatever Kiley was saying to her.
He pushed back from the counter to refill from a new bottle, pouring it nearly to the brim before returning to his position. A couple other girls had wandered in to join them and Jake felt Alina stiffen slightly as the kitchen got more crowded.
“Ohh, boujee! Who brought this?” one of the girls cooed, picking up the now empty bottle that Alina had brought. “This is like 200 bucks.”
Surprised, he turned to catch Alina’s eye but she avoided his stare, cheeks flushing at the attention.
“JD’s gir – uh, neighbor brought it.” Kiley answered. Half a dozen people turned to look at Alina who just waved awkwardly and tightened her grip on him.
“That was – ” one of the girls who Jake was pretty sure was a friend of a friend paused to eye the way Alina and Jake were tangled together before continuing, “Generous of you, Jake.”
He knew what she was doing. It was something all the guys had to deal with: girls that wanted to be with a player because of the money. And if a girl was like that she usually assumed all the others were. Jake flushed with anger, opening his mouth to respond but Alina beat him to it.
“Actually, I bought it myself.” She answered stiffly, tugging the glass from Jake’s hand to take a sip.
The kitchen felt ice cold and tense, nothing like it had been when it had just been Kiley and Alina chatting. Thankfully, Chuck and Gryz came flying into the room shouting about everyone going into the living room. The girls that had just come in exchanged looks before turning to go while Alina stayed put. Kiley shot the two of them a concerned look but grabbed a few things to bring into the living room, leaving them alone.
He turned around so he could face her, placing a hand on either side of her body and leaning his forehead against hers. “Leen, ignore them.”
“I told you your friends hated me.” She mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes.
“Those are absolutely not my friends.” He nudged her nose with his. “Do you wanna go? I told you, the second you want to leave, we can.”
She was quiet for a second, fingers trailing along the sliver of skin between his shirt collar and hair. He practically melted into her at the sensation. “No, no – I need to be nicer. I do want your friends to like me…”
“How bout this: we spend another hour or so here, drink a bit more fancy wine and eat some cheese then we’ll go out to dinner – just you and me.”
That earned him a smile and her eyes brightened for the first time that night. “You’d do that for me?”
He sighed, feeling the wine loosen his tongue slightly. “Leenie, when’re you gonna learn I’d do anything for you?”
“I don’t deserve you, Jed.” She mumbled, staring straight at him, her eyes serious and intense.
“We’re not gonna do our little argument about who deserves who.” He teased but she stayed serious, eyes dropping slightly to his lips.
“Jake, I – ” he wasn’t sure what she was going to say, he wasn’t sure if she even knew because she cut herself off.
Instead, she leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to his. It caught him so off-guard he hesitated for a second but thankfully his instinct kicked in before she could pull back in embarrassment and he caught the back of back of her head, pulling her in closer.
It was like everything he’d been dreaming about but better. Alina tasted sweet like honey, her mouth hot on his as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. He wound the hand not buried in her hair around her waist, tucking up under her sweater to press his palm against her skin.
Reluctantly, she pulled back, staring at him seriously. “I’m sorry.”
“Why the fuck are you sorry, Leen? Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?”
She giggled, sliding off the counter and burying her face into his chest before turning up to look at him. “You still wanna stay?” she teased, eyes sparkling.
“Fuck,” he grumbled into the top of her head. “I really really don’t but we should.”
Just as he was leaning down to steal another kiss, Charlie bounced back into the room. “Heyo, what’re you two doing? Come have some more wine before we have to switch to the boxed stuff.”
He stared at the two of them, tangled around each other and faces flushed but that didn’t stop him from continuing to egg them on about moving into the living room with the rest of the party.
“Alright, alright – we’re coming!” he yelled over his shoulder finally, shooting him a dirty look for interrupting. He turned back to face Alina, resting his head against hers. “Maybe we’ll stay for like twenty minutes?”
Smirking, she stood on tiptoe to press the lightest kiss to his lips before moving around him to go into the living room. He scurried behind her to follow, catching up easily. He wrapped his arm around her waist, feeling her relax at his touch. The move wasn’t lost on nearly everyone in the room. While officially Alina had been introduced as his neighbor, he was pretty sure a blind person could see the way he was touching her and staring at her and refusing to be farther than an inch away from her.
Alina remained controlled with her drinking, sipping wine slower than she had been drinking lately and that in and of itself felt like a victory. She did relax slightly but Jake noticed how she tended to stay close to him or Kiley. If she was ever talking to another of the girls, Kiley was also involved and if she moved along, Alina would do the same after a minute or so. She’d finally settled into a conversation with Charlie Coyle and his girlfriend leaving Jake to talk to a few other people while still keeping a close eye on her.
He desperately wanted to leave, wanted to get her alone so they could talk or make out or do more, he didn’t know. But he also wanted to give her the chance to get along with the group because he was hoping she’d be part of it soon.
“Slim! My guy! You crash any cars lately?” Khuls came blazing in loudly and Jake noticed Alina’s eyes shooting over and narrowing at the words.
He rubbed at his neck, “Er, not lately, man.”
Once the can was open, a few of the other guys started to chirp him, mostly around if he was going to grow a mullet again this year or if he’d been working out instead of going to McDonalds every night. He kept glancing over at Alina who was back to Russian Bitch Face and he was worried about what was about to come next if the guys didn’t stop.
And sure enough, Karson said something else about his driving and then Alina was at his side, threading her fingers with his. There was barely contained rage on her face but she seemed to swallow it down, instead squeezing his hand tightly.
Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his ear. “I’m ready to go if you are.”
He knew she was trying to make an effort, trying to get his friends to like her and in this case that meant not saying a word to them when they were chirping him.
He knew his face gave away everything when he looked down at her with a goofy smile. “Yeah, Leens – let’s go.”
“You guys are leaving already?” Kiley pouted and rather than admit Alina had just about had enough of being around so many people she wasn’t comfortable with he shrugged, swinging their clasped hands lightly.
“Sorry, Ki – we have late dinner plans.”
“Where are you going?” the girl that had been bitchy about the wine Alina had brought cut in and Jake was never outwardly rude so he just gave her a tight smile.
“Committee, down by the waterfront near our place.” He liked saying ‘our place’ like they lived together for real instead of just in the same building. “It’s Leenie’s favorite.” He added to get this girl to realize Alina wasn’t just some random girl that he’d brought out for a good time.
“Nice.” Chuck gave a reassuring nod, seeming to understand that it was time for them to leave. “Thanks for coming, bro.”
They made their goodbyes as quickly as possible but it still took about fifteen minutes to get out of there. By the time they were heading down the hall, Jake was thrumming with energy at getting to be alone with Alina. As they stepped into the elevator and the doors slid shut, Alina was wrapping herself around his body and pulling him to her lips for a soft kiss.
He pulled back, grinning down at her. “Do you actually want dinner?” he teased and she flushed slightly before smacking his stomach.
“I’m a classy lady, I need dinner first.” She smirked back at him, stepping up for another kiss but he pulled back so she couldn’t reach him.
“You know this is more than that, eh?” He paused, serious as he brushed her hair back off her shoulders.
She squeezed his waist, tucking one hand under his t-shirt and tugging on the belt loop with her other. “If it was just that, I would’ve taken advantage of the four times I’ve woken up to your hard cock poking me in the ass.”
“Fuck,” he groaned, flushing red and feeling his body overheat at her words. “You noticed that?”
“Jesus – yeah. I noticed it.” Now she was flushing, biting on her lip teasingly and trailing her fingers down his torso. “But yeah, Jakey – let’s go to dinner first.”
She seemed to have timed it perfectly, winking up at him just as the elevator door slid open and then she slinked out, heading towards their waiting Uber, leaving Jake shaking his head like a puppy. Before the doors could close on him he hurried after her, catching her around the waist just as she was opening the car door and he hustled them inside.
The couple glasses of wine they’d both drank seemed to have made them both more relaxed and Jake spent the ride back to South Boston contenting himself with sweet, slow kisses and brushing his fingers along the waistband of her jeans. He was aching just thinking about what it would be like when they got home. It was tempting to just race home and throw her on the mattress but Jake wanted to talk about it first. Make sure this wasn’t a rebound or a hookup. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take it if they weren’t on the same page.
By the time they got to the restaurant, Jake was half hard and regretting his plan to go through dinner. The Uber driver had given them a sharp warning to stop getting handsy and Alina had just replied back in Russian angrily which seemed to scare him into leaving them alone.
They were both happy it was a Tuesday and the restaurant was only half full. Jake requested a table in the back corner and while he’d always made fun of couples that sat on the same side, it was impossible to separate himself from being close to her. So he slid in next to her, crowding into her space until she was playfully trying to push him away.
“What?” he asked, ducking in close so he could kiss her. “You think I can sit all the way over there when you’re here looking like that?”
“Like what?” she teased.
“How you always do,” Jake shrugged. “Perfect.”
Alina flushed and Jake was pretty sure he’d never seen her blush as much as she had tonight. She slid her hand along his thigh, dancing her fingertips up along his leg until he was inhaling sharply and caught her wrist with his hand.
“Why won’t you let me play?” she teased, pressing her face against his neck.
Jake had to take in a few deep calming breaths and he felt grateful when the server stopped by. They ordered cocktails and an appetizer but he didn’t think the two of them had the patience for actual dinner.
As soon as the server walked away, Alina was back to teasing her fingers along his leg and he had to get hold of the situation before he wasn’t able to think straight.
“Leenie…can we talk? For just a minute?”
She frowned slightly, pulling back when she realized he was being serious. “Um, of course. I just – you want this too, right?”
The question caught him so off-guard he was quiet for a beat too long. Alina looked up at him sadly, biting hard on her lower lip. He panicked slightly, turning to face her so he could hold her face and she couldn’t avoid his stare.
“Alina,” he started seriously. “I want this. I want you. But I also want more.”
He held his breath, waiting for his words to sink in. She was gripping on to his wrist tightly, eyes scanning his nervously. “Like…you like me?”
He huffed a breath out. How could she not know?
“Yeah, Leens. I like you. A lot. Like a lot a lot.”
“A lot a lot?”
“More than you could know.” He admitted, heart pounding in his chest. He’d watched Alina go through a traumatic relationship and he liked to think he’d helped her start to heal. Over the last year and a bit of knowing her, he’d fallen hard and stupid but it had felt like she’d been right there with him.
She opened her mouth to respond but shut it, looking shier than he’d ever seen her before. It felt like she was quiet for hours until she finally spoke.
“I – I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone before.” She admitted quietly, rubbing her thumb along the underside of his wrist. “I’m – shit…I’m not easy and kind of a disaster but you make me feel good; feel like someone that deserves to be loved. I want to try this. I want to be with you if you want to be with me.”
“We’ll go slow. I don’t want to push you but I need you to know I’m not gonna give up or go away just because you get a little too drunk one night or you yell at half my friends.” He teased slightly and she gave a watery little chuckle.
“Can we still have sex tonight though?” she asked and he choked on air, glaring at her when she started laughing.
“I might hold out on you just for that.” He answered with zero truth in his words. She raised one eyebrow and just leaned back without a word before he huffed a sigh. “Yeah okay, there’s no way I’m ever going to deny you anything.”
It was obvious he wasn’t just talking about tonight and instead of speaking, Alina just leaned forward to kiss him gently.
Their drinks arrived and then the food shortly after while the two of them went back to their normal relationship, joking and teasing each other except this time there were kisses and sly touches mixed in. Jake felt like he was floating. It was everything he’d been wanting for more than a year and it was better than he’d ever imagined.
Before the server could even ask if they wanted more food or drinks, Jake was sliding his credit card over. All he wanted was to get Alina alone. The restaurant was only a block away from their building and as soon as the check was signed, he was bundling her out the door and practically dragging her along as they walked.
Alina giggled behind him and he just squeezed her hand tighter. “I’m not gonna run away from you, Jed.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about you it’s that you’re a drunk runner.”
“Trust me,” she started to say and he glanced over at her, drinking in the happy glow around her and the way her eyes were sparkling back at him. “I’m not running away from this.”
--- ---
“Holy shit.” Jake exhaled into Alina’s neck as he tried to catch his breath.
He’d collapsed on top of her and he could feel her still pulsing around him and her heart racing. He lifted his head to see her staring back at him, eyes soft and a happy little smile playing on her kiss-bruised lips. She ran a hand through his hair as he finally rolled off of her, hissing slightly at the loss of her around him.
“We’ve been cuddling for weeks when we could’ve been doing that?” she whispered, rolling into him so she could wrap around his body. He lifted his arm up to hold her close, smirking and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“To be fair, I’ve been thinking about doing that for more than a year.”
“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow at him. “And how did you prepare? Watch some game tape?”
He threw his head back with a laugh, sliding a hand down her side to land on her ass. “Lotta nights alone in hotel rooms thinking about what I’d do if I had you in my bed.”
“Did it live up to your expectations?”
“Not even a little.” He answered, grinning at the glare she gave him. Before she could say anything he tilted her head up to catch her lips in another kiss then pulled back. “It was a million times better.”
They fell quiet, content to stay cuddled up in the little cocoon they’d made. Alina’s bed was a massive king but they stayed on top of each other, the sheets tangled around them. Jake felt like he was moving through a dream. Last night he had been arguing with his teammates about Alina and how they were ‘just friends’ and now he was in her bed with her naked body pressed against him, trailing her fingers up and down his stomach gently. He traced the length of her spine, a little smile playing on his lips.
He stared down at her, eyes drinking in her features. There was a little birthmark he’d never noticed right on her temple. Her hair was a mess, the dark waves tickling his arm. She was staring across the room sleepily, eyes hooded and a satisfied little smile on her lips. The warmth of her body and the way she was distractedly running her fingers along his skin was making him sleepy. Eventually, her movements slowed and they both dropped off to sleep.
The next thing Jake knew a loud banging was startling the two of them awake. Alina shot up into a sitting position next to him, blinking awake and alert faster than he was. The banging continued, coupled with muffled yelling.
Frantically, she rolled out of the bed, grabbing her phone before snagging his button down and pulling it on as she hurried out of the room.
“Fuck.” Jake hissed, jumping out to follow her only pausing to grab a pair of shorts he’d left at some point.
The banging was deafening in the living room, shouts coming through the door and it wasn’t hard to guess who was out there based on the language and the sheer fear on Alina’s face.
“Baby, let me – ” he moved towards the door but she got between him, pushing back on his chest.
She started to yell back through the door in Russian, clearly telling her ex to go away but he just kept pounding loudly. It was nearly three in the morning and he was going to wake up the neighbors if he didn’t leave soon. Nothing she was saying was working and Jake felt helpless. There was pure fear etched on her face and he stepped behind her to place a calming hand on her back.
“Do you want me to call the police?” it was the only thing he could think of except opening the door and telling him to fuck off himself. He was bigger than her ex but he’d always noticed there was something unhinged that reflected in his eyes. But if it meant protecting Alina, he’d go toe to toe with the guy.
“Yes – no – shit, they never help. I’ll just – I – fuck. I’m going to open the door but keep the chain on. He – he’s yelling about you.” She whispered at him, panic and fear overwhelming her momentarily and some of what she said made no sense. “There’s something on Instagram?”
Jake paled wondering what the fuck could’ve been posted in the last few hours to put this guy in a rage. He could only imagine that it wasn’t good.
Alina cracked the door slightly, hissing back in Russian as her ex pushed hard against the door trying to snap the chain. She jumped back in fear and there was zero-way Jake was going to let this continue.
He stepped forward, pushing Alina behind him. The second her ex caught his eye, his face turned red and he shook the door harder.
“Stay fuck away Alinochka.” His words were followed by another hard bang as he tried to muscle through the chain.
“You need to leave.” Jake shot back, forgetting he was standing in just a pair of shorts while Alina was wearing his shirt which was only making the guy angrier.
He switched back to Russian, yelling angrily at Alina who was responding but her voice was shaking.
“Leen – this isn’t okay, I’m getting rid of him.”
The fear grew on her face and she grabbed his arm frantically. “Jake, no. You can’t get into a fight because of me.”
“He’s a piece of shit, I don’t want him anywhere near you.” He squeezed her arm softly before turning back to the door and inhaling deeply, trying to control his own temper. He threw the door open and thankfully her ex was smaller than he remembered. Definitely still an angry maniac who hit women but Jake was stronger.
Her ex tried to barrel through the door, attempting to get by him and to Alina, shoving into Jake who pushed him back. “Not gonna say it again, man. Get the fuck out of here. And don’t fucking come back.”
He tried again to get past Jake who muscled him back. He had tunnel vision, entirely focused on getting her ex the fuck away from her. He really didn’t want to get into a fist fight in the middle of the night but he would if it meant keeping her safe. Another shove and this time Jake was knocked back into the apartment. Alina gave a little shriek of panic and he heard her on the phone, giving their address and begging for someone to come quickly.
Again, her ex barreled towards him and this time, caught him around the waist. Jake fell back with a thud and just barely had time to get his arm up to protect himself from a punch. The second one landed, cracking him dully on the side of the head. Going off instinct, he pushed his hands on his chest, shoving as hard as he could to get him off of him.
The move managed to allow him to scramble up and reposition himself in front of Alina who looked like she was having a panic attack. But he barely had time to glance at her before returning his focus to her absolute fucking psycho ex who was preparing to take another swing at him. Ducking from the blow, he managed to hit him squarely in the face, hearing the satisfying crunch of a broken nose. Blood started to drip onto the floor and it slowed him down long enough for two cops to come barreling into the room, one grabbing her ex and the other pushing him back.
One cop tried to get control of the screaming Russian who was spewing blood all over the place while Jake immediately threw his hands up defensively to show he wasn’t doing anything. It only took about thirty seconds for the cops to recognize him.
“Jesus, DeBrusk?” the one that had initially tried to restrain him before realizing he wasn’t the problem. He was an older guy, maybe his dad’s age while the guy trying to hold onto Alina’s ex was younger and beefier, practically a John Cena clone.
“Yeah – can you guys get this asshole away from my girlfriend?” he snarled angrily, stepping over to snag Alina’s hand and pull her close to him. He was trying to calm his breathing, shaking out his hand that was already killing him while pulling her into his side.
“Okay, let’s all calm down here. Jesus – does this guy speak English?” the other officer said, still struggling to control him.
“Sir, officer, I’m sorry – he does but his English isn’t great.” Alina managed to get out, her voice cracking slightly. “His name is Mikhail Drozdov.”
Mikhail’s eyes flashed dangerously at Alina and he tried again to lunge forward to grab at her.
“None of that.” Officer Cena clone grunted, using one hand to twist Mikhail’s arm back behind him at a painful angle to snag his handcuffs before finally restraining him and plopping him down on the floor. “Stay. Does he understand ‘stay’?”
Alina hissed at Mikhail, her words sounding harsh and bitter. He was still glaring at the way she was tucked protectively into Jake’s side. The longer he was sitting there, the stronger the scent of vodka grew and Jake realized the guy was completely obliterated.
“Now that he’s restrained, can I ask you two a few questions?”
“Yes, sir.” Jake said, turning to his media training. He was going to get lit up by the front office if this got out but he was just happy he’d been here to protect Alina and now he just wanted to focus on getting everyone the fuck out of her apartment. “Can we grab some clothes first?”
The officer smirked at the pair of them in their state of undress. Alina was trying to cover herself and Jake made a point to shield as much of her body as she could.
“Go ahead, kids. We’ll try to interview Igor over here while we wait.”
Jake turned carefully, still keeping her as covered as he could as he nudged her back towards her bedroom. The second they were in the room Alina burst into tears and threw herself into his arms.
“Holy shit, Jake – I’m so sorry. So so fucking sorry.” She rambled into the crook of his neck, her tears soaking into his skin. “I don’t know what happened. He was yelling about something on Instagram? What does that even mean? How did he know we were together?”
Jake’s stomach flipped. Someone from the party had to have posted something that showed the pair of them together. He didn’t think it would be from the restaurant, that would take a lot to find but if it was in the background of one of the guys’ stories, it was possible.
He drew back so he could look at her, pushing her hair off her face and pressing a quick kiss to her nose. “I don’t know, baby. Maybe one of the guys shared something? And we were in the back? I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened.”
“How much trouble are you going to be in?” she asked, focusing her worry on him. It made his heart hurt a little to think about the fact that some asshole had just physically tried to assault her and she was worried about him. Carefully, she brushed at his eye where the punch had landed. “I bet the cops would let you go back to your place. You don’t have to be involved. It’ll just be me and Mikhail.”
“Leen, I’m not leaving you. We didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll talk to Bergy in the morning. He’ll help but right now we have to go talk to them.”
Nervously, she nodded through wide, watery eyes. He hated seeing the terror on her face so he pulled her in for a kiss, pressing his lips to hers and holding her tightly for a long moment. When he released her, they quickly got dressed; Jake pulling on a Bruins sweatshirt of his that Alina had stolen a couple weeks ago while she dragged on a pair of yoga pants while keeping his shirt on. The buttons were crooked and only two of them done up so he paused to carefully fix it for her.
Finally they emerged from her room to find two more cops had arrived and Mikhail still on the floor, spitting an angry stream of Russian at those around him. When he spotted Alina he snarled and tried to move forward.
“Where’d you find this guy?” Cena clone asked, kicking at his leg slightly.
Alina ignored him, walking back towards the first cop they’d talked to. “I’m Alina Agapov.”
“Yes, ma’am. We pulled your info. I’m Sergeant McDonald. Let’s take a seat in the kitchen, okay?” It was like a switch had flipped, the police officer turning into a kindly uncle as he led Alina and Jake towards the kitchen island where the two of them sat down. “Looks like you have an active restraining order against Mr. Drozdov.”
Jake shot a surprised look at Alina. He had no idea that she’d taken her ex to court and he hated himself for not having been around to help her through it. And that she hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him about it.
She swallowed hard, moving closer to Jake and he wrapped his arm around her, letting her lead the conversation.
“Yes, that’s right. We just had the hearing a few weeks ago. He – he’s not supposed to come near me.”
“No, ma’am. We’re going to bring him into the station and hold him. He’ll have the option of bail but the more times he breaks the order, the worse it’ll be.” Sergeant McDonald said softly but his words did nothing to calm Jake’s anger.
“‘More times he breaks it’? What the fuck does that mean – he’ll just keep trying to attack her but bail will go up?”
“Calm down.” He said sharply, shooting Jake a stern look.
Alina squeezed his leg. “Jake, please. It’s okay.”
“No, it fucking isn’t.” He huffed under his breath but fell quiet as they were asked more questions. They recounted the night, explaining that they’d been asleep when Mikhail had showed up screaming then all that had happened to get to this point.
Jake chanced a glance behind him to see two of the officers hauling Mikhail out of the apartment. He sighed slightly, pulling Alina in tighter to him. After another ten minutes of answering questions, the officer finally seemed satisfied and offered a card to Alina.
“This is where we’ll be holding him and that’s where you can get a copy of the report. Recommend you call your lawyer in the morning, he’ll know what to do next.” He looked awkward, unsure of how to deal with a girl that was so clearly emotionally drained and then slid his gaze to Jake. “Listen – we, uh, we don’t have to put your name in the report or anything.”
Surprised, Jake looked at him. “That – that doesn’t seem right. I broke his nose.”
“We can work around that, son. The guy is gonna go to jail regardless, your girl has like seven police reports filed against him so it shouldn’t be a hard decision for the judge.”
The fact that Alina had filed so many reports hit him like a truck. It had clearly been far worse than he’d even realized. In a daze, knowing the cop was giving him an out because of who he was, he looked down at Alina.
“He’s right, Jake – this can fuck things up for you.” She said softly, her gray eyes pleading with him to think about himself.
It didn’t feel right. He was worried if there was anything that wasn’t right in that report, Mikhail would be able to work around it and get back at Alina.
So he shook his head no. “Just – write it as it happened, sir. I’ll sign it or whatever but it should be right.”
Sighing, Sergeant McDonald flipped his notebook closed. “Okay…we’ll do our best to keep it quiet though. And uh, good luck – you’re playing like a beast.”
He gave him a tight smile. The fact that they were talking about his play when a guy had just violently gone after his girlfriend didn’t exactly sit right with him.
But he walked him to the door, saying goodbye to the other cop who was lingering as well, staring curiously at Alina. This had been a nightmare of a night and there was still blood all over the floor. As he shut the door behind them, he leaned against it, tapping his head lightly against the surface.
He squeezed his eyes tightly before turning to face Alina. Her face was pale, quiet tears streaming down her cheeks. He rushed towards her, dragging her into his arms and holding her as she cried.
What a fucking night.
It was almost five in the morning. He had practice in a few hours and he knew he’d need to go in early to let management know about what had happened but right now all he could think about was holding Alina.
He rubbed her back gently, tilting her face up to his. “Baby, let’s go to my place – we can lay down for a bit longer.”
She sniffled, wiping her nose with his sleeve. “This is humiliating. I’m sorry, Jakey. Maybe you should just go – ”
“Stop apologizing. And there’s no way I’m going to leave you. I told you earlier I wasn’t going to give up on you. On us.”
“You called me your girlfriend.” She said softly, hands gripping his waist tightly.
He smiled down at her, “That’s because you are. At least, I want you to be.”
“So much for slow.” She managed to tease through a watery smile. “I like it. I like you.”
“Then come on, girlfriend. Let’s go home.”
Trying to ignore the blood on the floor, he told her he’d call someone to clean it tomorrow when she tried to pause to take care of it. He kept a tight hold on her hand as they walked the length of the hall to get to his apartment. It was quiet and peaceful in his place compared to what they’d just walked out of. He didn’t want to push her but he had more questions than answers at this point. There wasn’t anything she could do that would make him not want to be with her; that didn’t mean she could cut him out and not tell him things.
Alina went straight into his bedroom, pulling him along by his hand. She slid out of her yoga pants but kept his shirt on as she crawled into his bed. He pulled his sweatshirt off then slid in next to her, wrapping around her body.
“Can we talk, Leenie?” he whispered in her ear. “I need you to talk to me.”
She inhaled sharply, sniffling as she did and he felt her shake slightly. He wasn’t sure she’d share but then she started to speak softly. “We – we started dating when I was fifteen. My uh – my parents died when I was ten. That’s why I moved to the States. To be with my Dedushka. He lived in this neighborhood in Brooklyn that was mostly Russian and I met Mikhail there. It just – it was easy to talk to him, he knew what it was like. Leaving home and being in a place where people glared if you fucked up your English.”
Jake felt his heart pounding as she shook slightly in his arms. She pushed back into him to try to get closer and he just hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to her head as she continued.
“I’d spent five years barely talking to anyone. Too scared to speak until my English was perfect. Then Mikhail showed up. He was always with his dad when they came to my Dedushka’s restaurant. He made me remember where I’d come from. His parents were from the same city I’d grown up in. He was familiar in the most comforting way.”
She paused, trying to catch her breath. Jake ran his fingers down her arm so he could lace their fingers together.
“He wasn’t always so terrible. My Deduskha would’ve kill him, that’s for sure.” She gave a watery little chuckle before continuing. “But then…” she paused and Jake could hear her sniffling again, a little whimper slipping from her lips.
“Baby, come’re.” he whispered against her head, loosening his grip so he could turn him towards him. Her eyes were filled with tears and he used his thumbs to wipe them away. “I’m sorry, if it’s too much – we can talk la – ”
“No,” she said sharper than he expected before her features softened. “I – I know I haven’t shared a lot with you. And you deserve to hear this after tonight.”
He leaned forward to kiss her gently, nudging his nose against hers until she smiled. It was harder for her now, facing him as she spoke. She stayed quiet for a long moment before finally staring up at him and continuing.
“My Dedushka died when I was nineteen. And then it was just me.” She whispered.
Jake swallowed hard. No wonder she never talked about family: she didn’t have any. He rubbed her back lightly as she tried to swallow back her tears.
“He was all I really had left. I’ve never made friends very easily and my whole life was in that little neighborhood in Brooklyn. But…well you saw him. The older he got, the more controlling. He expected us to get married and me to be his little wife and have babies but I didn’t want that.
“I wanted to be a nurse. I wanted to see what else was out there beyond the little corner I knew. We made a deal that we would go to Boston for a couple years and if he did that for me, I’d marry him.”
Her voice was so soft, he barely heard her but the words hit him like a truck. The idea that he would’ve never had this made him sick. But he stayed quiet, rubbing her back gently as she talked.
“He got a job in Boston easily with this international accounting firm, managing the Russian relationships. He settled in better than I did – going out with the guys he worked with constantly. I was studying and working so much, exhausted all the time but I noticed how bad his drinking got. He’d come home sometimes just…so fucking angry for no reason. He didn’t get rough until a year or so ago. But it was a pattern I’d seen from Mikhail’s own father. His mama was so…broken. I started to see that becoming my future.
“It just kept getting worse. The cheating. Yelling. The hitting. But then I met you.” She smiled slightly, looking up at him and pressing a quick kiss to his jaw. “And you just…were this light, funny, perfect guy. Who was soft and gentle with me and I started to fall for you but I didn’t know how to get away from Mikhail.”
“I wish I’d – I…” he struggled for the words, feeling lost and a little blindsided. “I didn’t know how to help you.”
“Jake, you did help me.” She swore, brushing his hair back off his forehead. “You couldn’t fix everything, I needed to fix a lot of it myself first. And I made mistakes by letting Mikhail back in so many times but he was my past – the closest thing I had to family and that was hard to let go.”
“Tell me about the restraining order.” He asked softly, bracing himself for how hard it would be to hear what she had to say.
“I did the right thing – the thing you’re supposed to which is report the abuse. So I started to. He was…it was usually the worst when you were out of town. It’s like he waited until you were gone then he’d come over raging like you just saw. I almost got evicted over the summer from the number of times they had to call the cops but the management company was surprisingly good about it.”
“Jesus, Leen – why didn’t you tell me?” Jake asked, trying not to get upset.
Her eyes filled with tears again. “It’s humiliating. All the neighbors hearing him scream at me and throw things then the cops showing up at all hours. I didn’t want you to know that about me.”
“I would’ve come back. I would’ve helped.” He drew her in closer, squeezing her against his chest.
“I know you would’ve, but you deserved your summer. Deserved time with your family and friends.” Her voice was muffled into his chest and she was crying softly again.
“Hey now,” he whispered, grasping her chin to turn her face up to his. “No more crying. Let’s get some sleep, you’re exhausted. This is still the best night of my life.”
That earned him another little laugh as she angled up to kiss him softly. “You haven’t had a very good life then, babe.”
He scoffed. “I’m in the NHL. Very important and cool and do a lot of things. You’re still the best thing I’ve ever done.” He pressed kisses along her face as she giggled and swatted him away.
“Oh, so now I’m just something you’ve done?” she raised an eyebrow at him and he groaned, flopping his head back on the pillow. She kept a smile on her face as she rolled on top of him, straddling his waist.
He caught her hips to keep her steady, rubbing his thumb along her skin. “This is a nice view.”
Leaning back, she grabbed for his right hand. “You okay?” She pressed a kiss to each knuckle, frowning at how red they were before focusing on his face. Gently, she brushed her fingers along his tender cheek. “Do you need ice? I think this is gonna be a black eye.”
“I’m fine. Come’re,” he urged and pulled her down to him so he could thread his hands through her hair to pull her down to his lips. “Want a kiss. Then it’s bedtime.”
“Shit – what time do you have practice?”
“Eleven. I’m gonna go around ten though. I need to talk to Bergy and figure out who to talk to on the team.”
Alina frowned. “I told you I was a train wreck. It’s not too late to – ”
Jake cut her off, leaning forward to kiss her before pulling back. “Leen, I mean this is the nicest way possible – shut up. You’re my girl.”
“Thank you, Jakey.” She whispered, sliding off him and nestling back into his side.
He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up before I go.”
She mumbled something in Russian, pressing her lips to his chest and then she was out like a light. He lay awake for a while after she’d fallen asleep, holding her against him and thinking about the night. Everything she’d told him about her life made things so much clearer: the way she was so strong and stubborn yet had continually gone back to an abusive boyfriend, how she never talked about her past or her family. He wished she’d told him sooner but he knew he couldn’t have dragged this out of her until she was ready.
The sun was just starting to peak through the windows when he finally dropped off to sleep, dreading what waited for him at practice later but still happier than he’d been in a long time.
#jake debrusk#jake debrusk fic#hockey fic#hockey fanfiction#writing#hockeyblr#nhl#nhl fic#hockey writing#boston bruins#bruins#boston bruins fic#so here is two!#I hope it's okay#and yes#darker than the first part
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eight maids a-milking -> eight pucks a-slinging | j. debrusk
a/n: a christmas fic at 10 am? sure. there are no rules about time in 2020. rest of the series linked here.
word count: 3,046
warnings: none. pure christmas fluff
You sighed as you slammed your car door closed with your hip, your movement jostling the box you were carrying, causing the bells inside to ring among the garland. Luckily, the contents of the slightly overfilled box stayed inside. You let out a sigh of relief and headed inside the arena, box in tow. The Bruins were doing some charity thing that involved decorating a tree and Jake forgot his box of decorations at home this morning, so he asked you to bring it by on your way home. It was just one more thing to do in your already incredibly busy day. Jake was always forgetting things, his wallet, his phone, his keys, his coat, everything, constantly. You frequently had to drive to the airport, ten minutes behind him, hot on his heels, with his passport in your passenger seat, so he could actually get into Canada for a game. Picking up Jake’s forgotten things was something you were used to now. It had become a habit, part of your daily activities.
It was something you did for him, because of the thousands of things he did for you. Jake was the one who told you when you were trying to carry too many things, when you were stretching yourself too thin, he always noticed before anyone else and shifted weight to himself to lessen your burden. He never let you push yourself too far, to the point of fully expending yourself to exhaustion, something you did far too often before him and something that was so easy to do this time of year. Work piled up, tasks upon tasks to finish before the end of December to be completed, along with pressing from yours and Jake’s family with activities and travel and gifts to buy, it was all too easy a time to forget to put some things in Jake’s lap to take care of. He might be a tad forgetful, but he never failed to step up to the plate if it made you happy. If there was nothing he could take on, no burden he could share, then he used every ounce of him to try and be a bright spot in your day. Jake was positive in the face of anything, incapable of holding a grudge or letting negativity rest on his mind for more than a fleeting second. He was a forever kid at Christmas, loving each present more than the last, no matter the cost or its contents. His love of it came from love for the person who bought it for him and in the intent of giving it, not in the material item.
That purity of the way he loved, as fresh as snow that has just fallen, was why you didn’t mind coming to the arena after a long day at work with a box of Christmas decorations. Because Jake would do the same for you, with an even bigger smile on his face than the one he gave you when he saw you coming down the hallway with that box in hand. He looked at you like he hadn’t seen you in ages, even though he’d kissed you goodbye hours ago when you left for work. He scooped the box out of your hands while placing a quick kiss to your cheek.
“Thank you, as always,” Jake told you, relief evident in his voice.
You never felt underappreciated with Jake, even if part of the reason he appreciated you so openly is because you were always the one tying his ties and making sure the back of his dress shirt was tucked in properly. Jake didn’t have much polish about him but you had plenty to spare and didn’t mind sharing. Relationships were a series of compromises. You tucked in shirt tails and Jake made sure you took breaks, used your paid time off from work, and always threw your towels in the dryer in the last ten minutes of your shower so he could wrap you up in a warm one when you were done, even if he forgot until you shouted his name in search of your towel. You missed the warm towels and your far too warm boyfriend when he was away.
“No problem. Happy to do it.”
And you were. You were genuinely happy to do it for him. Anyone else, and you couldn’t stand the forgetfulness of the small things, but it was Jake’s biggest fault. If your partner’s biggest fault was forgetting their wallet, you were pretty sure you’d won the lottery.
“So,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair as you did, “where is this tree we’re decorating?”
“We?”
He raised his eyebrows at you in a challenge, but Jake could only hold an expression that wasn’t a smile for so long. It fell apart and gave way to that smile you saw across the table during your first date and realized you wanted to see it for the rest of your life if you could, if he allowed you to.
You rolled your eyes, which only spurred a small laugh from him, “Yes, DeBrusk. We. I didn’t come this far out of my way during rush hour to not decorate a Christmas tree.”
Jake smiled at you broadly, then nodded softly, “Okay, okay. We’ll do the tree then. Come on.” He turned away from you, sticking his hand out behind him for you to take, “Follow me to your Christmas tree.”
You followed Jake through the arena, hand in his leading the way. You waved to a few familiar faces as you passed, who waved back more excitedly than usual. You attributed to a large majority of people’s favorite holiday being right around the corner, and the annual Christmas party tomorrow where the champagne would be flowing tomorrow night. Jake gave your hand a tug when you fell behind trying to wave to one of his teammates and you took a few long steps to catch up to him.
“You’re eager,” you pointed out as you had to practically jog every few steps to keep up with his ungodly pace.
“Always eager to do things with you,” Jake replied smoothly, but he ruined any ounce of smooth he might have had with a giggle after.
You loved that he couldn’t keep up a straight face, or really any sort of false face. What he felt and his intentions were drawn perfectly on his face every single moment of every single day. You never had to question what he was feeling. It was another reason among the many as to why you loved him.
He pushed open a door with the box on his hip and guided you in, dropping your hand to put his entire self into his best impression of a doorman. You thanked him with a tip of an imaginary hat and that smile you loved more than Christmas morning spread across his face. Jake dropped the box onto a nearby table next to a lit, but undecorated Christmas tree you assumed would be your joint task together. The room was set up for the annual Christmas charity event they did with local kids. There were different game stations set up around the large foyer of the arena, some you recognized from last year and others that were new. The largest addition was on a wall covered in netting and trimmed with red piping designed to look like a hockey net with balloons taped to it in a grid, each balloon red or green or white with a different letter printed on the latex.
“That one’s new from last year,” you noticed.
Jake smiled one of the widest you’d seen from him in a while, a smile that seemed to tell you something had just fallen perfectly into place for him. You couldn’t even begin to fathom how Jake’s mind worked, so you let what you thought his smile might have meant pass without comment. You could spend your time and energy trying to figure Jake out, or you could spend your time and energy being with him and enjoying him and the results of his less than linear thoughts. You chose the latter as Jake dumped a crate of pucks out onto the ground.
“It’s for the kids,” Jake told you as he grabbed a stick leaning against a nearby wall, “but I don’t think they’ll mind if I show you, as long as we fix it after.”
He separated one puck from the rest, handling it back and forth across the floor effortlessly. He jerked his head, motioning for you to come over and join him. A bright smile came across his face when you moved to comply with his silent request.
“So the whole point for them,” his hands continued to mindlessly shift the puck back and forth across the floor as he talked, “is to spell words by popping the balloons. There’s glitter and candy and stuff instead for them if they can do it.”
“Ah yes, the herpes of crafts,” you noted in response to the word glitter.
Jake’s ever familiar laughter rang out through the lobby in response to your statement, bringing you right along with him. No one made you feel brighter and lighter than he did, even on your heaviest, darkest days.
“God, I love you,” he breathed out as his laughter slowly came to a close. “Anyway, so it’s just like this.”
Effortless, Jake pulled a puck back with his stick on the floor, then sent it sailing forward effortlessly. The puck collided and popped a red balloon with the letter “B” printed on it, causing glitter and candy to rain down onto the previously spotless floor below. Jake didn’t hesitate before repeating his actions, targeting and successfully popping a green balloon with the letter “E” emblazoned on it. Jake paused, leaning onto the stick and gesturing for you to go retrieve your candy. He’d seen the look on your face when one of your holiday favorites had dropped to the floor with the second balloon he popped. You pressed a quick, grazing kiss to his lips before shuffling to retrieve the candy he’d freed for you, happily opening your favorite immediately and sighing with relief when the taste hit your tongue.
“Hey, get out of the way!” Jake teased you when you didn’t return to him, too focused on your candy to realize you were in his way.
“Oh, you’re still going?” you asked him as you headed back over to join him, candy in your mouth muffling your words a little.
He nodded to you as you returned to your place beside him, “And you better be paying attention to what I’m spelling. There’s a quiz at the end.”
“A quiz? After my long day of work? With your spelling skills?” You were smiling as you teased him, and he was smiling back. You were allowed to tease him whenever you wanted because he knew it came from a place of absolute and complete love. “Seems like cruel and unusual punishment.”
“It’s not too long, promise,” he informed you. “Also, it’s three words, just to help with your spelling a little bit.”
“Three whole words?” you gasped, words heavily coated in sarcasm. “However will I manage to keep track?”
Jake didn’t answer. He just laughed lightly before, just as easily as the first two, slinging a third puck against the wall, popping a balloon with the letter “M” on its surface, showering the floor below it with glitter and candy. He followed it up quickly by popping his first white balloon with a “Y” on it, more candy and glitter joining the rest on the floor. You mentally tallied up the letters so far. B, E, M, and Y. You decided it was most likely as simple as it looked, just “be my.” Jake’s hands slipped on the fifth puck, sending it wide of whatever balloon was his target, leaving a black mark on the wall instead.
“Whoopsie,” he giggled a little. “Nerves are getting to me I guess.”
“What are you even nervous about?” You laughed a little as you talked, hands fussing with your second candy wrapper that was putting up a hell of a blockade between you and Jake’s favorite Christmas candy, which had become your second favorite after all this time with him. “It’s just me.”
“Have you ever seen you?” he joked, glancing back at you so you could see his eyebrows raise. “You’re always going to make me just a little nervous, baby.”
You rolled your eyes at him as your cheeks heated up a little in response to his words. With a wave of your hand, encouraged him to get back to spelling whatever he was so insistent on spelling for you. You figured it was probably, knowing Jake as well as you did, something incredibly cheesy and Christmasy, so sickeningly sweet you’d definitely roll your eyes again when he finally got to the end. You knew his intentions were nothing but pure, just him trying to bring a smile to your face. He didn’t need to go to all this trouble to do it though. His smile did the trick itself.
Jake separated another few pucks from the pile, setting himself up for his remaining word. He took a deep breath and bounced on his heels, spinning the stick in his hands as he did. He settled down and set himself up for the next shot in one motion, letting the puck fly forward. Another balloon, this time with a “W” detailed on it, burst on the impact from the puck. You suspected it had something to do with winter, a suspicion further upheld with the next green balloon to fall victim to one of his pucks with a spray of its contents to the floor had the letter “I” drawn on it. He took a pause with the next puck, spending a little extra time lining himself up, stick swinging back and forth for a moment in the motion of his shot, but not actually letting it content with the puck. Jake took a deep breath before letting it go. You were expecting an “N” to continue with your winter theory, but the puck made contact with and bursted a red balloon with an “F” on its surface, the now familiar sound of candy hitting the floor rang through the foyer after. Now, all of your theories were thrown out the window. Whatever he was spelling, you were done guessing because you weren’t going to be able to align your thoughts with his.
Jake hesitated another moment, as if waiting for you to have put the pieces together already, but when you didn’t respond, he lined up another puck. His hands shifted on the stick for a moment, finding the perfect positioning again before pulling his stick back, then letting it snap forward to send the puck toward the wall. You watched as another balloon burst, no candy or glitter raining down this time, no newly familiar pings of candy hitting the floor following it. Instead, all you could hear was your heart beating in your ears and your body forcibly pulling air in and pushing it back out of your lungs. It was an “E”, the final balloon. B, E, M, Y, W, I, F, and E. Be my wife.
“Jake…”
He set the stick down before turning to you, dropping to one knee as he did. Your hands flew up to cover your mouth as he opened the box in his hands. He was breathing as hard as you as he watched you take in the ring he had been agonizing over, designing and redesigning, for months. Jake’s hands were shaking, the box shaking a little along with it, and he didn’t even notice because it felt like his entire body was shaking as nerves ravaged him. All you had said was his name.
“It was, um-” He paused to clear his throat because the first two words had come out choked. Jake took a deep, centering breath before trying again, “It was, ‘be my wife,’ in case you missed a letter or something. I don’t know. I didn’t actually get to do a practice run of this or anything. But, baby, I love you. You’re the most patient and incredible person I’ve ever met. I- I feel like sometimes I annoy everyone else on the planet, but I’ve never felt like that with you. You make me feel so loved and appreciated for being me, exactly how I am, and I can only hope I make you feel the same way because how you make me feel is something I wish everyone could feel at some point in their lives because it’s the single most incredible thing I’ve ever felt. I want to spend my life trying to make you feel like you make me feel and you make me feel like I’m your favorite person and I feel like, maybe just me here, but you should probably try and marry your favorite person. You’re mine and I’d really love it if I got to remember Christmas for the rest of my life as the time when my favorite person said she’d be my wife. So, what do you say? Will you marry me?”
You couldn’t speak with every possible emotion built up in your throat. You had to nod as your answer, and shakily extend your left hand to him. The smile that came across his face was the broadest and best you’d ever seen from him, and it warmed you from the inside out. The cool metal of the ring sliding onto your finger contrasted the warmth you felt inside and the warmth of his hands. It was yours now, the ring Jake agonized over for months, and he was yours now, soon-to-be forever yours. He stood on shaking legs to press a soft kiss to your lips. Forever was an odd concept at a time of year that was inherently limited, but the warmth of Christmas would hang in your heart forever, and on your left hand forever, and in the bed you shared with him forever. Christmas lasting forever, like Jake DeBrusk, was a dream come true.
#jake debrusk#jake debrusk fic#jake debrusk imagine#jake debrusk fanfiction#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#nhl fanfic#nhl imagine#Hockey Fanfiction#hockey fanfic#hockey writing#hockey imagine
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Things I’d Buy These NHL Players From Amazon
#hockey imagine#nhl fanfiction#hockey smut#nhl smut#nhl imagine#mat barzal imagine#nhl#nhl x reader#hockey#hockey fic#alex ovechkin#artemi panarin#sebastian aho#charlie mcavoy#brent burns#cam talbot#jake debrusk#cole caufield
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That Smile
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
It’s our one-year anniversary and I have no idea where he’s taking me. I see a blanket in the back seat, and I know it’s going to be something romantic because that’s how he is. He’s not one of those over-the-top romantics, but he has his moments.
We pull up to a big open park, not many people around but it’s dinner time so no surprise there. He got out, almost sprinted around the car to get the door for me.
~~
*11 months earlier*
“So this is your place.” It’s exactly what you’d expect of someone like him, big, fancy, granite countertops, leather sectional, open spaces, a balcony with a hot tub and some couches. Rich people might not always look rich when you see them out on the street, but once you see where they live, there’s no denying they have money.
“It’s beautiful.”
He scratched the back of his neck nervously, “thanks, I’m not around enough to make it look the way I’d want it to, but I was thinking in the summer I might move some stuff around… make it more home-y.”
I eyed the guitar in the corner, ‘cliché,’ I thought. So many douchebags have guitars on display with no idea how to play them. So I challenged him to it. “you play?” “Yea, I do.” “Are you good?” “I’ve got a couple songs up my sleeve,” he said with a chuckle.
I plopped myself on the couch and pretzeled my legs, staring at him eagerly, “well, by all means, I’d love to hear one.” He didn’t hesitate, walked over and picked up the guitar, he came back and sat right next to me.
“any requests?”
“you know any Clapton? Cliché I know, but I love his music.”
“not cliché at all, anything specific?”
“surprise me.”
In an instant I knew the song, my favorite. When I was younger my mom and I would always listen to 70’s and 80’s radio whenever we were in the car together. Softer, slower music, played later in the day. Then there was bedtime radio that started at 9 at night. It would always start with “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton.
He must’ve noticed the smile on my face, because he started smiling too. “You like this one?”
“Love,” I answered, almost too quickly.
His smile grew.
He had one of those smiles that could make flowers bloom, or make babies stop crying. It wasn’t perfect by any means, even a little crooked, but it made fireworks go off in my stomach.
“It’s a great song, and easy enough to learn cause it’s slower. Not too many different chords.”
“It’s one of my favorites. The lyrics are incredible.”
“Can you sing?”
“Not even a little bit, I’m so bad.” Trying to find something to change the subject I started glancing around the room. My eyes went to the balcony. I got up from the couch and went over to the door. I felt a presence behind me. “We can go out if you want.” So I opened the door and step outside.
The warm, summer breeze felt like a hug. I walked around a bit, glancing at the lights and down at the street below. “Careful,” he said as he took a cautious step towards me. I didn’t realize how much I had been leaning over the edge. “Heights never really scared me.” “Well that’s good, but still… careful.” “I always am.”
I looked up; outside the city the stars were a little more visible. “Beautiful,” I said under my breath. Again, I felt a presence behind me. “You big into astrology?” “Only enough to know my star sign, and that it apparently fits me well. Beyond that, I just like to look at the stars.” “Do you know the names of any of them? Or constellations?”
My confidence grew a little bit. My summers laying outside in the grass playing around with the app on my phone that labeled the stars if you point your camera at the sky were finally about to pay off.
“That one is Sirius. It’s the brightest of them all.” “That’s easy to remember. That’s one of the dippers right?,” he asked, pointing up. “The big dipper, the little dipper is right there, and over there is Ursa Major, its shaped like a bear.” “That means there’s an ursa minor, right?” “Very good work detective,” I teased jokingly, pinching his cheek. He gave a giggle and winked at me. My heart skipped a beat.
“So you know a decent amount about stars?” “I know where they are and how to find them, I don’t know much past that.” “Impressive,” he said as he kissed my cheek.
~~
We walked for a little bit towards the center of the park. He carried the basket; I had the blanket. “I’ve never heard of this place.” “I had to do a bit of research to find it.” “Any reason you chose this park in particular?” “You’ll see.” There’s that smile, after a year I still get the same fireworks when I see it. I glance over at him, and he’s already looking at me. “What are you looking at?” “My girl,” he said with a wink.
He stopped walking abruptly. He looked up at the sky, then around the park. Looking back at the car he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He put down the basket and looked through his phone for something. “Are we stopping here?” “One sec, I have to check.” “What’s the difference between here and 5 feet away?” “You’ll see, but I have to make sure we’re in the right spot.” He put his phone back in his pocket, took 8 steps forward, turned back towards me and grinned, “here.” “Fair enough,” I walked over.
He laid out the blanket, put the basket on it. I hadn’t seen him pack the basket; I actually only saw it for the first time when he picked me up today.
He opened the basket and pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. I sat down and started pouring. “Shit, give me one second,” and before I realized what was happening, he was running back towards the car. I took this opportunity to sneak a peak in the basket. Chocolate covered strawberries, little triangle-cut sandwiches, a little bin of grapes, some crackers- “no peaking!,” he yelled as he made his way back to me. “Too late babe.”
He was carrying four pillows and dropped them when he came over. “What are these for?” “Comfort, we might have the blanket, but it won’t be comfortable without the pillows.” “Yea, I guess I could’ve put that together.” “I mean if you had an idea of doing more, the pillows will definitely help,” another wink.
He had all the makings of a douchebag, on the surface level. He has that superiorly confident look to him. The way he walks, he doesn’t think he’s better than anyone, but that’s the vibe you get from him if you judge him solely based on looks. If you saw him on the street you might think he was the biggest fuckboy on the planet, but then you talk to him.
He’s goofy, in the best way. He’s smart. You wouldn’t think it, but he’s better at quick mental math than anyone I’ve met, and he knows geography like he’s traveled the entire world himself. He likes to talk about anything and everything. On our first date we spent an hour talking about different birds we’d both seen, and our favorites. He likes loons because they sound funny, I like bluebirds because of their beautiful color. I didn’t have much interest in birds until that conversation. Now every time I see a bluebird I think of him. My family went on vacation last month and we rented a lake house. Every morning I’d hear the loon calling and think of that smile.
“Hey you, whatcha thinking about?,” he poked my cheek, I snapped out of my zoned out state, “you.” He turned away a little but I saw the blush creeping onto his cheeks. He had pulled everything out of the basket and tossed it to the side. “Grapes?,” he offered, holding one up in front of my mouth, I opened, and he placed it in my mouth gently, like it was fragile. The sun was starting to set, that’s when I realized there were no lights around. All we had was a tiny lantern he had pulled out of the basket. The view we had of the sunset was incredible, I hadn’t kept track of time on the drive here, so I really had no idea how far outside of the city we were. “How much research did you do exactly?” “Alright to be fair I asked a buddy if he knew any romantic spots and after I got him to quit joking about sex, he gave me a few. Then I googled them and found this place.” “It’s beautiful.” “Not as beautiful as you.” “Oh hush-,” he interrupted me with a kiss.
We ate as the sun set, starting the strawberries just as the last bits of golden light dipped below the horizon. He turned on the lantern.
The glow lit up his face, he was really handsome. His skin looked so smooth and he had those long eyelashes that all guys have, it made me jealous. That smile, again. He kissed me, again. He shut the lantern off while we were kissing. He pulled the pillows over and put them behind us, he laid back and spread his arm out. I laid down and put my head on his arm.
He kissed the top of my head, “Sirius,” he pointed toward the star. “Glad you remembered,” I teased. Another wink. He pointed up again, “look.” As I glanced up, there was a light that shot across the sky. “A shooting star. I’ve never seen one,” he was staring in awe. “Make a wish.” “I don’t need to, I have you.” I rolled my eyes, “you are such a cheeseball.”
We laid there pointing out the different stars and constellations. “You’ve been studying,” I glanced up at him. “I wanted to impress you,” he stated, followed by another kiss. I’ve never seen the stars so bright and clear. “Is this why you were so stingy about the spot?” He looked down at me, “I needed to make sure the view was clear so we could see everything.” Like I said, he’s not a huge romantic, but he has his moments. We kept watching the stars in the most comfortable silence. Then, almost as if he let it slip out accidentally, he whispered, “I am so in love with you.” I waited to see if he’d say anything else, but he was quiet, a nervous quiet. “Ditto,” I giggled and glanced up at him. And, without fail, there it was again, that smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay be nice! It's my first work, and like I said- I don't consider myself to be much of a writer. I hope you guys like it, I kept thinking about the idea and wanted to give it a shot! I purposely left names and too-specific details out so people can think of whoever they'd like, and hey! feel free to add the person you thought of to the tags if you reblog, I love stuff like that! Maybe I'll write more if people like it enough :)
If you like it please give it a like and reblog, it would be much appreciated!
#fic#fluff#blurb#writing#oneshot#mat barzal#anthony beauvillier#matthew tkachuk#jake debrusk#sean kuraly#david pastrnak#jeff skinner#matt grzelcyk#sidney crosby#tyler seguin#mitch marner#nathan mackinnon#brandon carlo#joel farabee#pierre luc dubois#trent frederic#jack hughes#mcu#marvel#sebastian stan#bucky barnes#anthony mackie#sam wilson#tom holland#peter parker
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Uhh so a while ago I wrote a little something (around 1k of random shit) with JD. Would anyone want to read it?
#dk if i should post it or not yk#sometimes it's not worth it to post fics that nobody cares about or will read#jake debrusk#rere mumbles
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2-"cold" for jake/charlie ?
I FINALLY FINISHED IT HAHAHAHAHAH
here you go friendo
#mine#writing#hockey rpf#prefix boys#prompt fill#ask#answered#finally jesus christ#i have so many more to do#they will NOT be 6k fics i promise#i have to relearn how to write drabbles#charlie mcavoy#jake debrusk
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I’m back, here’s a fic rec list
So I came back, and I definitely want to rebuild my fic rec lists just to spread some love. So here are some of my all time faves that you should check out! I’m trying to do it all by memory, but I know that I probably forgot a few, but don’t worry, I’ll be doing more of these in the future!
How to Cross a Hurricane by @hockeyboysiguess
This fic makes me mad because I don’t even GO HERE for Mikko and yet.. I would die for Mikko and Jo? It’s 40k of a straight masterpiece and I know how hard B worked on it, and how much was written and rewritten and it just deserves much of your time. Thanks!
Golden by @pettypetey
I would die for this fic, mainly because she wrote it for me but like... go read because it’s so fucking cute. The sweetness and development of the relationship is just... so adorable. I’m actually going to be mad if you don’t go show this one some love.
Some People Do by @blueskrugs
I adore this. I’ve reread it multiple times. It’s emotional, intense and just SO good. Do yourself a favor and read this then it’s sequel. You won’t regret it. I just don’t have enough good things to say about this one.
When Fate Stepped in by @jasondickinsons-stories
Okay ky, having him under Edmonton Oilers FELT SO WRONG, but that changes nothing how I feel about this LITERAL NOVEL LENGTH masterpiece. I don’t even go here for Tyson OR soulmate stuff and yet!!! I DID AND YOU SHOULD TOO.
Thanksgiving by @broadstbroskis
Listen, I don’t go here for jeff skinner but like Thanksgiving fic? SIGN ME UP. I regret nothing from reading this. It’s so cute. And seeing as though I’m posting this on American Thanksgiving, you’re obligated to go read it sorrrry not sorrrry
Not a Typical Christmas Story by @puckinghell
While it absolutely wrecked me to not put the Willy Christmas fic on here, I figured I should also probably tell you to read this one since it’s newer and INCREDIBLE omg. The slow transition from hating Christmas to opening up to the idea of it... Lou NAILED IT.
Heartless by @zuucc
I think about this fic so much, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read. The buildup of the story, the connection that her and josty have, it’s all just chef’s kiss. Definitely settle in and read this one.
Little do you Know by @raysofcrosby
Little do YOU KNOW, that this fic lives rent free in my head. It’s seriously SO good. I have read it countless times. It’s just.. seriously one of my favorite fics. It’s upsetting to me thinking about how many people haven’t read this.
Make your Move, Leave your Mark by @danglesnipecelly
BITCH, when i say you need to read this, I MEAN IT. It’s everything. It’s so good. It’s the first marky thing I ever read and it’s so beautifully done, I could just talk about it all day. But I won’t because you need to go read it.
When we Went from Friends to this by @slapshot-to-the-heart
Hi. I love this. That’s all. No but seriously, I just...it’s so good. It’s just the perfect balance of sweetness and I adore everything about it. Go read it, I promise it’s worth it.
Don’t be Jealous by @texanstarslove
Listen if you like smut and Seggy, miss @texanstarslove is your boo. She’s got the goods when it comes to that and is who I like to think of as the resident seggy gal. So go give this a read.
Falling for You by @prettyboybarzal
Jake deBrusk is so underrated here, and if you’re looking for good content about him, this is what you should start with. It’s a classic friends to lovers that will make you mad at times, and honestly we love that.
you’re cute, let’s make out by @josty
A shortie, but a goodie and let’s be honest all you bitches wanna make out with josty.
Stuck with u by @mbarzals
I loved this, such a cute little thing about good old ratty matty. The bickering and dynamic is so good and I just think you should go read it.
To Finally Be Yours by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69
LISTEN. I just. I need to finish the last two parts because I deactivated in the middle but GO READ THIS RIGHT NOW. Thanks. Nat is incredible at storytelling.
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hii ! can I request the prompt 72 ("hey, your favorite movie is on. i'll get the popcorn.") with jake debrusk if it's not already taken ? thank you ! :)
Happy blurb weekend!
Shoutout to @slapshot-to-the-heart for coming up with this (because I bothered her too much about these fics LMAO)
Tagging: @besthockeyfics @glassdanse @stlbluesbrat21 @dembenchboys @zigzagsandzebras @stars-canucks @beauvibaby
72. “Hey, your favorite movie is on. I’ll get the popcorn.”
Word Count: 290
______________________
You and Jake were lying in bed, one of the nights where he didn’t have a game so he was free to spend the night with you. When he did have nights like this, they usually involved the two of you doing absolutely nothing, either being in bed just lying there together, watching TV, reading, or, if Jake really felt the need for mental stimulation, he would pull out one of the board games that you had stashed in the hall closet.
Jake was trying to find something for you two to watch, scrolling through the guide while you were sitting there looking at your phone. “Hey, look,” he pulls your attention from one screen to the other, “Your favorite movie is on. I’ll go grab popcorn, ok?” He hits play on the movie, leaving the bed before you could even process the familiar conversation about French cuisine coming from the speakers as Ratatouille started on your TV.
He comes back a few minutes later, freshly popped popcorn in a bowl that he’s already started eating. Jake extends his arm out for you to cuddle up against him, the bowl of popcorn resting in his lap.
“How did you know this was my favorite movie? I don’t remember telling you?” you ask him, sitting up after the first commercial, just as he’s about to put a handful of popcorn in his mouth.
Jake sits there, his mouth open ready to eat. “You have a little Remy on the lanyard you keep your keys on,” he tells you. “So, I looked up what he was from.”
“And you assumed it was my favorite movie?”
“Was I wrong to?”
“No,” you tell him, lying back down in his arm to finish it.
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ENOUGH FOR YOU – j. debrusk
warning(s): small amounts of angst and overall sickeningly soft fluff.
summary: love and relationships– something you so desperately craved and wanted, but wouldn’t allow yourself to have thanks to a fear of vulnerability and a past heartbreak. after the end of a fling, you notice a pattern across all of your past flings that makes you feel as if you’re unloveable. a rant to your best friend gives him that push to finally take the step in confronting his feelings for you and his chance at showing you that you’re worth everything and more.
word count: 8.907
an: yikes this one’s been a long time coming. literally this has been sitting half finished in my drafts for who knows how long– it started out as a self-indulgent fic bc those are some of the best ones lol but anyway, the twin brother of the reader is a made up player for the bruins and ya well, enjoy!
“Peter, I’m sorry. But I can’t give you this rose.”
“Good choice!” You mumble through the bite of your chipotle bowl, pointing your fork at the flat screen. “He was a dick anyway.”
You were sitting in your best friend Jake’s apartment, sitting on his couch with the Boston Bruins fleece blanket you’d made him for Christmas last year. The lights off everywhere but the living room, leaving you sitting in the dimmed room. Jake was out with your twin brother and the rest of the team, celebrating a big Saturday win. Why they decided to go out on a Monday night when they could’ve just celebrated yesterday on Sunday was beyond you.
Normally on Monday nights, you would be sitting right here on Jake’s couch with him beside you, the two of you munching on chipotle bowls, though his was always heavier on protein than yours, and watching the new episode of The Bachelorette. But tonight, tonight it was just you, your chipotle bowl with extra of everything, a side of queso, chips, a mixed drink, and your feelings. Oh, and Michelle, the new Bachelorette.
This wasn’t your original plan, no way. Originally, you were supposed to meet Lucas– a boy you met in undergrad and for the last two years, had an on and off fling with– at Panera for lunch. As a matter of fact, he had sent you a text earlier that morning– “hey, wanna meet up? lunch at Panera on me @ 1?” Immediately, you said yes. It’d been a little over three weeks since the last time the two of you had hooked up and you needed a release. So that morning, you showered, shaved completely, canceled your Bachelorette night plans with Jake, which he was okay with since that meant he could go hang out with the guys, went to work, and met Lucas up for lunch.
You already planned on what you were going to get– just a greek salad. You weren’t wanting to eat too much before you guys went back to his apartment. Having a full stomach wasn’t exactly ideal for a dick appointment.
Turns out...you got way, way ahead of yourself.
Lucas didn’t text you for a ‘let’s grab lunch and then go back to my place and have sex all over my apartment’ meet-up. He texted you for a ‘hey, we can’t hook-up anymore. I met someone and I really like her’ meet-up. His word-for-word verbatim was– “I met her that morning after our last hook-up. Remember how we both woke up super early? I couldn’t go back to sleep and I actually had time to stop and get coffee before work. Turns out we both ordered the same thing and went to reach for our drink at the same time. She does graphic design like you, but for BU and she’s a first-year grad student. This was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed getting to know you and you’re great, but...I really like her and we’ve been sort of dating the last three weeks.”
Thankfully, you didn’t have to sit through that lunch, Lucas receiving a text from his boss saying he needed him to come back and run through an assignment real quick. So, the two of you grabbed your orders to-go and went your separate ways for good. Him back to a law firm downtown and you, well...you went back to TD Garden and went back to work.
Work, being your last year of your internship with the Bruins creative services department doing graphic design. An internship that your twin brother had suggested you apply for after graduation. One that after your interview, you had them promise that they wouldn’t hire you just because of who he was. And when they assured you that they’d put your skills and knowledge way above your connections, you were much happier to accept the job.
Logan Wynn may have had a lot of connections, and one connection got you a foot in the door of applying for that internship, but it was your skills in graphic design that had them bring you back for a second year– a second year, that if everything went smoothly...you’d be finding yourself in a full-time position in the department. News you were told today, just before lunch in fact.
None of that mattered now, since all you could focus on was your dumping in the middle of waiting for your Panera order. And it wasn’t even the dumping that bothered you. Lucas was nice, sure. Was he good in bed? Yeah, but not your best. He wasn’t someone you saw yourself ending up walking down an aisle to either.
It was how he said it and why that really bothered you...because it wasn’t the first time a guy had dumped you for someone else he had in mind. Nor was it the first time a relationship had ended on a friendly note like that. It wasn’t even the first time that a guy had said you were great and nothing was wrong with you, it was just that he found someone he liked better– but reiterated that you were still great.
Dating back to your freshman year of high school, that seemed to be the way your relationships ended— if you could even call them that. Logan liked to call them your “almost” relationships— close to being official, but something always stopped it from happening:
The guy always found another girl he liked better.
But even worse? You were the reason why they did. No matter how many compliments they showered you with— ‘you’re great, ‘I do like you, ‘you’re beautiful’, ‘any guy would be lucky to have you’— or how many times before they walked away, they tried to convince you that it wasn’t your fault they wanted to end it…it was. You were the reason why they always ended it.
And you’ve always known that things would end the same, even from the very beginning, you knew. But that didn’t mean that watching every failed attempt at a relationship end, hurt any less.
It wasn’t like you had some severe background family trauma either. Your parents had an amazing, practical fairytale romance— sickeningly adorable and married for almost 30 years — you grew up in a loving household and surrounded by perfect examples of just how great love could and should be.
But when it came to your own relationships...you were scared.
Scared of fully giving yourself to someone beyond just that physical level, but actually opening up to them and letting them know your hopes and dreams, what keeps you up at night and learn about your childhood. Scared of letting yourself be vulnerable with them, always wondering if there’s something that would scare them away– even if you’ve been told time and time again that there was nothing wrong with you. Ultimately, you were scared that you’d finally open up to someone and get comfortable with the vulnerable, only for something to go wrong and they leave– leaving you beyond heartbroken.
You’ve seen the breakups in movies and shows, you’ve read them in books, you’ve witnessed your closest friends go through the most heart-wrenching moments that caused you to cry along with them, always wondering how someone could ever risk or be okay with breaking such pure and loving hearts.
It scared you because you never wanted to find yourself feeling that way again. Your parents always used to say that sure, thanks to growing up with Logan and another older brother, you knew how to hold your own ground and never let anything show– but even then, you were still sensitive on the inside. And no matter how much you hated showing that vulnerability, it was still there and it was never going away.
And it wasn’t like you haven’t tried to get past those feelings, because you have. Hell, even Logan has tried and set you up with some of his teammates while the two of you were in high school– of course, you trusted him because he wouldn’t set you up with a total ass– and there was one guy where you thought that maybe being vulnerable wasn’t so scary.
His name was Casey and he and Logan had been teammates the moment Logan started playing with the Junior Terriers– both even going on and committing to BU and playing their freshman year together before deciding to go off into the draft.
Normally, you were wary of showing any kind of interest in your brother’s teammates and friends because you never wanted to cross that line or risk ruining a friendship of your brothers– but Logan was the one who actually suggested that the two of you start talking. And he did it by inviting the two of you to join him on a double date with his now fiancé Francesca. It was about as innocent as a first date at 16 could go– the four of you playing mini-golf before ending the night walking around a nearby park and eating ice cream.
Casey was everything that you thought he wouldn’t be– and by the end of the night when the two of you let Francesca and Logan have some space ahead of you on the walk back to his car, Casey had not only offered you his jacket but had asked if it was okay if he held your hand. You said yes, he told you to keep the jacket until your next date and the two of you exchanged numbers before he kissed you on the cheek and helped you into your brother's car before getting into his own and driving away.
It was easy to say that based on that first night alone, you’d become hooked on Casey Wells. The two of you snapchatting every day, texting every day. You already went to your brother's games before, but now it wasn’t just Logan you were cheering on. The two of you went on your own separate dates while still joining Logan and Francesca every once in a while. He wasn’t your first kiss, but he was your first time and you knew that you felt deeply for him due to the way he went out of his own way to make sure you were comfortable and safe, all while trying to make his bedroom as romantic of a room as possible with a 16-year-old hockey boys room could be.
You didn’t want to seem like such a cliche– fall in love with the boy who took your virginity– but you couldn’t help it. Casey was everything all those different boys in those YA books you loved to read so much were but wrapped up in one person. He was kind, caring, he yearned to learn your likes and dislikes, he surprised you with your favorite things, he would listen to you rant about your bad days or rave about your good ones. He joined your family vacations and you his.
He was the first boy you ever loved and had ever dropped those stone-cold walls you kept so high for. The first boy to ever make you feel comfortable being vulnerable around– even going as far as to saying ‘I love you’ for the first time in your life after that first year of dating.
And then freshman year at BU...you saw the Snapchat.
It was after a big win and there was a party on campus. You had gone to the game to support Logan and Casey, bundled up as warm as you could be since you had been feeling under the weather for the last two days. You congratulated them both before wishing them a good night and going back to your dorm, skipping the party so you could get some extra sleep. When you woke up Saturday morning, you felt a lot better than you had been feeling the previous few days...until your roommate walked in with coffee and breakfast for the both of you, the look on her face saying that things weren’t all that great.
It was from another one of Logan and Casey’s teammates' stories of a group of people playing beer pong and in the background, you could see a couple all wrapped up in each other, laughing and smiling. You didn’t want to believe it was Casey– it could’ve been one of the other teammates. But when the story continued on into the next snap, the couple turned and you were hit with the crushing reality that it was Casey, only able to see his face for a few seconds before the brunette in his arms (who you recognized as a member of the women’s hockey team) pressed her lips against his and the two were locked in a kiss that lasted one second too long for your liking.
Two years of your life had come tumbling down in a mere matter of seconds, your heart crushed in shambles from the aftermath of his actions.
And everything you didn’t want to happen...happened. You confronted Casey about it, crying more than you had ever done before and while he admitted his guilt, the fact that he wasn’t sad about what he had done, only made it worse. Logan found out after walking into their shared dorm room coming back from lunch with Francesca, therefore walking in on your argument.
Their friendship was in ruins, your relationship was done, your heart shattered, and later that night when Casey asked if he could stop by to exchange your things you had managed to gather up the courage to ask him why he did it. He didn’t blame it on being drunk, he never once didn’t own up to his actions– that much you were thankful for. However, it was when he told you “Riley and I get along great...we have more things in common, the chemistry was better. I swear it’s nothing you did because I love you, I really do. But, it’s easier with her” that ultimately shattered the remaining pieces of your heart.
“I swear it’s nothing you did.” “I love you.” “It’s easier with her.”
Perhaps those were the phrases that kept you on the path you’d been on from the moment your relationship with Casey had ended. Before him, you were barely teetering the line of only keeping a man at bay in fear of him breaking your heart, but after the one guy who did– it was like he himself had shoved you over it and you’ve been walking down that road ever since.
It was easier to move on post-breakup when Casey got drafted to the Kings and went out west. It was even easier when Logan got drafted and became a hometown boy on the team he’d grown up idolizing– the Boston Bruins. You had your friends and your family to help you move on from the crushing heartbreak, but more importantly–and maybe a little bit self-destructive– once you were ready to step back out into the dating world, you did.
Initially, it really only started as flings. You talked with the guy, got to know him, you were each other’s main hookup– that’s pretty much how it went your next two years of college. But senior year was when it changed and you found yourself slowly entertaining the idea of a relationship. Maybe it was because your brother was engaged, maybe it was being surrounded by the loving relationships of his teammates, or maybe it was because your heart was telling you that you were ready to take another leap of faith.
Though you never let it get the chance, nor did it ever seem to have the chance.
Because everything always ended the same– you kept them at arm's length and they found someone who didn’t.
You heard the front door open and looked away from the tv long enough to spot Jake walking into the apartment before focusing your attention back to the screen where Michelle was having a one on one date with Clayton, continuing to eat your chipotle bowl.
“Hey,” Jake said, walking towards the kitchen island and dropping his keys onto the counter before walking beside the couch, looking at the tv. “What are you watch– oh shit, it’s Monday.”
“It’s fine,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders before pausing the tv. “We were gonna watch it tomorrow, remember?”
Jake looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Not that I’m bothered or anything, but if that’s the case...you’re sitting alone in my apartment...on my couch and watching it without me, why exactly?”
“Plans changed,” you shrugged again, moving the blanket off the empty spot beside you. “Didn’t feel like sitting in my apartment alone. I could’ve gone to Logan and Fran’s, but you know how gross they get when they’re trashed. Besides, I knew you’d come home eventually.”
He walked around the couch and sat down next to you, reaching forward and grabbing the chips and queso you’d ordered before draping the other side of the blanket over his legs and propping his feet up on the table. “What makes you think I was coming back home alone though? Totally could’ve cockblocked me if I brought a girl home and she sees another girl on my couch shoving chipotle into her mouth and downing a vodka cran.”
“You don’t know it’s vodka cran,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “Besides, I’ve been out with you guys multiple times, and even when the opportunity presents itself, you never take a girl home– hell, you don’t even go to their place.”
“Doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done it tonight,” he replied, munching on a chip. “And I know it’s a vodka cran because I know you, Y/N.” He grabbed another chip, this time dipping it into your bowl and scooping some of the contents out.
“Yeah?”
“Mhhm. Which means I also know that you’d never go against our friendship pact by watching the Bachelorette without me. And I also know that you only drink while watching it when you need to drown yourself in your feelings...not to mention your bowl is pretty packed– or was.” He grabbed another chip, dipping it in queso and looking at you. “So, are you going to tell me what happened? Because last time I heard, you canceled our Bachelorette date for plans.”
You moved some of the contents of your burrito bowl around with your fork, feeling Jake’s gaze on you continue to linger as he waited for a reply. “The plans weren’t what I thought they were.”
“Did something happen?” He asked, turning towards you on the couch. “Did what’s his face do something? That’s what your plans were right? Lunch with what’s the guy–”
“Lucas.”
“Sure, Lucas.” Jake waved off, moving the chips and queso back onto the table. “Did he do something to make you–”
“No, no, it wasn’t that,” you replied, shaking your head and sighing. “He was fine, it was fine...it just wasn’t what I thought the plans were going to be is all.”
“I’m confused…” Jake said, tilting his head to the right. “What exactly were the plans?”
“He texted asking to meet for lunch, and in previous encounters...lunch was grab something to go and then go back to his place and–”
“Yeah, yeah, I get the picture, please don’t go any further,” he replied, cutting you off as his face twisted up into disgust. “So what? You meet up, grab food, go back to his place and hook up...is that it? What was so bad? Did you throw up on him or something?”
“God, no, shut up,” you groaned, shoving at him with your foot before looking back down at your bowl. “We never went to his apartment...we didn’t even get lunch together.”
“So...what happened then?”
You leaned back into the couch, sighing heavily. “He basically broke up with me–not like we were dating anyway. Said he met some first-year grad student in the cafe and they both ordered the same thing and it was basically true love at first sight or something.” You laughed sarcastically, shaking your head. “Funnily enough, he met her the morning after we had last hooked up, she does graphic design and according to him, I’m great and he enjoyed getting to know me, but he really likes her and they’ve basically been dating the last three weeks.”
It was silent as you felt Jake’s gaze still on you and when you looked over at him, you felt relieved. Normally in this situation, whether it be with your friends or your brothers, you’d always get the same look of pity or sympathy on their face. That was the last thing you wanted. You already felt bad enough and you didn’t need someone else feeling bad for you. But not Jake, never with Jake.
“Are you sad about it?” Jake asked, resting his right elbow on top of the pillow cushion and propping his head against his fist. “I mean like...did you want something to happen with him?”
“I don’t think I’m sad about him ending it...he was just a fling, you know?” You replied, stabbing at the veggies in your bowl with your fork. “It’s just...it always happens to me. The stupid ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. I mean, I know I’m not the easiest person to get close to...but at this point, it’s just...it’s exhausting.”
Jake leaned forward and grabbed your glass, handing it to you before taking the burrito bowl off of your lap and putting it on the table. “What’s exhausting?”
“Everything,” you laughed dryly, shaking your head before you took a sip of your vodka cran and sighed, looking down at the glass. “I’m starting to think I’m doomed to be single for the rest of my life, you know? That I’m totally unlovable and maybe it’s my fault because I’m too scared to let someone close to me or maybe I’m just meant to be that girl that makes guys realize what they want in someone, but don’t want me.”
“And I know I can do it, be vulnerable with someone because I did it before. But I’m just so terrified of letting someone in like that again, because the last time it broke my heart,” you spoke softly, tracing your finger around the rim of the glass. “And I’m starting to think that I’d rather have that than to continually have men tell me that I’m great and cool, but I’m not what they want.”
You took another deep breath, exhaling before finishing off the vodka cran and handing the glass to Jake. “Sorry for venting, I know you’re probably not interested in my woes. But besides Logan, you’re the only guy in my life who I can be this vulnerable with and that I know will never judge me for it. I mean hell, you watch me stress over a fake reality dating show every week.”
“It’s a good show,” he smiled softly, holding the glass in his hands. “But you’re right, Y/N. I’ll never judge you for being vulnerable with me, ever. And that Lucas guy? It’s his loss for breaking/not breaking up with you. Every guy who’s ever done that, it’s their loss because as far as I’m concerned, you’re the coolest girl to get to know.”
“Thanks, Jake,” you smiled.
“Anytime,” he nodded, pointing at the tv. “I’ll get you a refill only if you fill me in on what I missed...and share your chips and queso.”
“Deal, because you’ve missed a lot.”
He walked into the kitchen to make you another drink, turning the lights on and ruining the dimmed living room. When he came walking back a few moments later, he took his spot right back next to you and handed you your glass, you handing him the chips and queso before grabbing the remote.
“We can just start it over, I don’t mind,” you said, rewinding the program.
“You’re already 30 minutes in, you don’t have to–”
“Seriously, Jake...I don’t mind,” you replied, pressing play once it was back at the start. “Besides, watching the Bachelorette without you isn’t the same. I missed your usual banter.”
Jake propped his feet up onto the table and scooted closer to you so the blanket wouldn’t need to move far before resting the chips between you and the queso in his lap. “This good?”
“Mhhm, you can have some of my bowl too,” you replied, scooting the bowl closer towards him.
“Good, cause I brought a fork,” he smiled, pulling a fork out from beside his leg before reaching into your bowl. “Hmm...could use more protein.”
“Just shut up and watch the show,” you laughed, taking a bite from your own bowl before scooting closer and closing the distance between your bodies.
You looked at Jake as he focused on the show and smiled, already feeling a million times better simply from his presence. He really was your best friend and you didn’t know what you would do without him. You leaned your head against his shoulder, watching the show and silently praying to yourself that you’d never have to go back to living in a world without Jake Debrusk by your side.
It wasn’t an odd occurrence for Jake to wake up with you. The two of you always had sleepovers, so many in fact, that he spent the better part of last season trying to convince you to just move in with him. You guys were best friends, he lived right by the arena so the two of you could carpool to work and when he was on roadies, he didn’t need to worry about his empty apartment. He didn’t mind the idea of living with you either. You guys were best friends after all.
Oh, and there’s always the fact that he’s harbored a major crush on you from the moment he met you.
But crush aside, he deeply cared for you– you were his best friend outside of his hockey teammates or friends from home. The two of you could have fun going out to bars and clubs and have the same amount of fun just chilling on a couch watching movies and tv shows.
He’s tried within the last year to tell you how he feels about you or hell, at least to kind of nudge you with the idea that he liked you as more than a friend, but it’s never been the right time. You were in your last year of grad school and working hard to try and earn a full-time job working with the Bruins– which would be your childhood dream come true. Add in the fact that you were still seeing this Lucas guy and Jake was pretty held back from ever attempting to pursue something with you.
At least until last night, last night was like the universe finally giving him that opportunity to take his shot. He hated seeing you so upset and he could never understand why you thought you were less than what you were worth. He could barely understand how these guys could even say that you were great, but they had found someone better– as far as he knew it, you were the best.
You were practically everything he wanted in a girlfriend and it was even better that you were already his best friend.
Which is why he was so nervous today. Because this morning when he woke up– waking you up next to him on the couch as well so you could have the first shower and get ready for work– he had it set in his mind that he was going to try and take that first step to tell you how he really felt.
Which meant he was going to talk to Logan first to see if it was okay that Jake planned on asking you on a date.
“Hey Logan, wait up!” He called out, jogging down the hall once he walked out of the locker room.
“What’s up? Aren’t you taking Y/N out to lunch today?” Logan asked, looking down at his phone. “Might not want to be late, you know how she gets when she’s hangry.”
“Yeah, but I actually wanted to talk to you about something first,” Jake replied, feeling nervous as they kept walking towards the door that would eventually lead them to the parking garage.
“Okay? What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you’d um,” Jake huffed, scratching the back of his beanie as he looked at Logan. “Would you be okay with me asking Y/N on a date?”
“Is that it?”
“...Yes?”
Logan laughed, shaking his head. “Dude I thought it was something super serious.”
“I mean...it kind of is?”
“I’m fine with it, Jakey. I know you’re a good dude and you guys are best friends,” Logan said, stuffing his hands in his winter coat pockets. “But Y/N might be a little hesitant about it.”
Jake felt his heart drop all the way down into his feet, the empty feeling it left behind making it almost hard to breathe. “Why? I-I mean...does she not–”
“No, no it’s nothing against you, I promise. I’ve actually teased her a few times about how close the two of you are, you know that. It’s just well...the last time she dated one of my teammates, he ended up cheating on her and it...well it kind of messed her up for a bit.”
“Casey Wells, yeah I know,” Jake nodded, stuffing his hands in his own pockets. “We talked about it one night after a bar.”
“Yeah well, he kind of put her on that whole ‘I don’t want to let anyone get close to me’ path she’s on.” Logan sighed, shaking his head. “You can try to ask her on a date, I can’t promise she’ll say yes. Just know that if she says no, it’s not because of you, okay?”
Jake nodded as they stopped just outside of the door of the parking garage, the elevator at the end of the hall dinging and the doors opening, with you walking out of them and into the hallway. “I was going to wait for you to come and get me, but I’m super hungry and couldn’t wait any longer.”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask, because you never know...she could say yes,” Logan spoke softly, patting Jake’s shoulder. “And if she does say yes...don’t be a dick, okay?”
Jake just nodded before Logan nodded at you and walked through the doors into the parking garage, leaving him standing alone in the hallway as you walked up to him. “What were you guys talking about?” You asked.
“Just stuff from practice,” Jake nodded, opening the door for you and letting you walk into the garage. “Where did you want to go to lunch?”
“I was thinking we could pick something up from that sub shop down the street and just go back to your apartment and eat it. Is that okay with you?”
“It’s perfect.” He replied, walking with you to his car and opening your door for you before walking around, hesitating to get in. He could have this conversation now or he could wait until you guys were at lunch. Either way, he was asking you on a date today.
And he was hoping to God that you’d say yes.
Only he didn’t ask while the two of you were sitting at his kitchen table and eating your sandwiches. He didn’t ask when you asked him what he was thinking about– you– and he didn’t ask when he drove you back to the arena to drop you back off to work. Well...he didn’t ask on the car ride.
Plainly speaking? He panicked. He saw his moment slowly slipping through his fingers as he pulled out front of the arena and he just blurted it out.
“Go on a date with me!”
You stopped, one leg out of his car but your body still in the passenger seat as you turned to look at him. “What?”
“Shit I mean, ugh,” he groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. “Can I take you out on a date?”
He saw the way your eyes had widened when hearing his request and he watched them soften as you sighed and frowned. “Jake, you don’t have to.”
“Have to what?”
“I know you feel bad for me– but really, I’m fine, okay?” You asked, starting to feel slightly embarrassed at the fact he was starting to feel bad for you after what happened yesterday.
“I’m not asking you on a date because I feel bad for you, Y/N,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I’m asking you on a date because I…” he hesitated, the words stuck in his throat before he sighed. “Listen, we don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to. We can just do a date staying in...just, please say yes?”
His heart thumped against his chest with every passing second that you looked at him and didn’t tell him your answer. He was starting to feel embarrassed himself and like maybe he just ruined your guys’ friendship and right when he was about to tell you nevermind, that it was okay...you brought your foot back into the car and closed the door, turning towards him fully.
“This isn’t a pity date?” You asked, the small frown still on your face.
“No, absolutely not,” he replied, shaking his head. “I would never–”
“Okay,” you nodded, swallowing heavily. “What time should I be ready?”
“Is 6 okay? Just stop by and we can leave from there, okay?”
You nodded, adjusting your purse over your shoulder. “I guess I’ll see you at 6.” You opened the door again and got out, closing it before turning back and knocking on the passenger window and ducking down into his view, waiting as he rolled the window down. “You swear on–”
“Yes, yes, I swear this isn’t a pity date, Y/N,” he laughed, waving you off. “Have a good day at work, I’ll see you at six. Love you, bye.” He replied, rolling the window back up and waiting for you to walk into the arena before driving off.
It wasn’t until he was driving back to his apartment that he realized what he had said. “Love you.” It shouldn’t have been a big deal, the two of you had said ‘Love you’ to each other all the time in your years of friendship.
But he had also just asked you on a date. A date you were hesitant to take, just like Logan had said you would be. And now, his dumbass went ahead and said that he loved you and if he knew you as well as he thinks he does, then he knows you’re going to analyze his words way more than you need to.
He meant it in a friendly way– like the two of you had always said it.
But he would be lying if he said that he didn’t love you in the romantic way either.
You couldn’t focus the rest of the day at work, it was hard to keep your mind on a single-track focus when all you could think about was the fact that your best friend had just asked you on a date. You had texted Francesca the moment you stepped into the arena, but she was no help because all she said was “finally! You two have been oblivious for ages.”
So you spent most of your day thinking back on your four-year friendship with Jake. He and your brother had made their NHL debuts in the same season. Your family was like his second family since you were local and he came all the way from Edmonton. You were just at the end of getting over your break-up with Casey when Logan brought Jake home with him one weekend during training camp.
It was totally against your will and Logan wanted to show Jake around, so he dragged you along with them and Francesca to go play laser tag. And it was being teamed up with Jake and the competitiveness of wanting to beat your brother, that started your guys’ friendship. It didn't help that he was also really kind and even a little cute– but it was him letting you take the winning shot on your brother that sealed the friendship deal.
If you weren’t totally heartbroken from Casey cheating on you and you were just some single girl, then you definitely could see yourself possibly having something with Jake. You guys got along great, had similar interests and he even indulged in the cheesy shows that only your closest girlfriends would watch. Yet thinking back, you could never name or even think about a moment where you thought that Jake might even slightly like you.
When you got off of work, you took an Uber to your brother and Francesca’s, pounding on the door until one of them answered before you stormed in to rant about the fact that your best friend had just asked you on a date. They listened to you rant and talk and stress and in the end, Francesca reiterated how she thought this was a long time coming, while Logan just walked you to the door, nudged you out into the hall, and said “Don’t fuck it up, he really likes you,” and shut the door in your face.
So you went back to your apartment, took a shower, and got ready for your...date, maybe not date with Jake.
You were nervous taking the uber to his apartment and were even outside of his apartment door at 5:50, contemplating whether or not you should knock and arrive early or just hang out in the lobby until six. It wasn’t like you didn’t know the people who worked at the front desk. Instead, you knocked on the door taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, waiting for him to answer.
And when he did, you half expected him to be dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie– knowing that he was always the one to get ready at the last minute and yet still be on time. But instead, he was dressed up in a pair of dark wash jeans and a maroon sweater, his beard was trimmed and it looked like he had even gone and trimmed his hair a bit– he looked really...well...really good.
“Sorry I’m early, I just got dressed a lot faster than I thought I would, so I figured I’d just come over,” you rambled, pointing down the hall. “I was kind of thinking you wouldn’t be ready yet and I could just sit in the living room.”
“It’s fine,” he replied, shaking his head. “Actually, I just need to grab my coat but we can head out now if you want.”
“Okay, sure,” you nodded, hugging your own jacket tightly around you as he grabbed his coat from the side table by the inside of the door and walked out to join you in the hall. “So, care to tell me what we’re doing tonight?”
“Nope,” he smiled, tugging the jacket on and walking with you down the hall. “It’s a total surprise.”
The two of you walked side by side as you left the familiarity of his apartment and down to the parking garage where he parked his car, the silence evident between you both...but it was comfortable and you weren’t surprised because there had never been a time where you were ever uncomfortable about Jake.
He opened the car door for you, letting you get inside before he closed the door and walked around the front to get into the car himself. You looked out the window, trying to figure out which direction you were going and where exactly he was taking you for the night– but there were a lot of possibilities and you weren’t able to limit them unless he gave you some kind of clue.
But that’s not what you were more curious about.
“Real talk?” You asked, turning towards him as he came to a stop at the red light.
“Always,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the streetlights ahead of him, but you weren’t oblivious to how he had nervously squeezed his steering wheel a little tighter.
‘Real Talk’ was always something the two of you said when you wanted a pure and honest conversation. It was something you and your brothers had done while growing up and it spread into your friendship with Jake as well.
“Why?” You shifted comfortably in your seat, keeping your focus on him. “I-I mean if this isn’t some pity date because you feel bad that another guy basically said I wasn’t good enough for him...then what is it? Why ask me out on a date now?”
“Well one, it’s most definitely not a pity date,” he laughed, shaking his head and moving forward as the light turned green. “And two...the timing was just never right before.”
“There’s never been good timing in the four years we’ve known each other?”
“No. You were coming off of a break-up when we first met, then you just kind of went off and did your own thing to help yourself heal. It’d be kind of a dick move for me to interrupt that when you were getting over what that asshole did.” He shrugged. “I guess I’ve just been playing the long game, you know?”
“The long game?” You laughed, leaning your head against the headrest. “So you’ve been what? Supposedly harboring this crush on me for the last four years and you just now decide to make a move? I find that hard to believe, Jakey...no offense.”
Jake sighed and pulled off into a CVS parking lot, stopping in a space and putting the car in park before turning to her. “Why? Why is it so hard to believe that I’ve liked you since I met you?”
“Because…” you wavered off, realizing that you really didn’t have a reason besides the fact you just couldn’t believe it. So you went with the usual excuse. “If none of these other guys think I’m good enough for them or they find someone better for them, then why shouldn’t I think that’ll happen with you?”
“Because I’m not those other guys and they were never good enough for you, Y/N.” He unbuckled his seatbelt, turning more in his seat. “I don’t think you understand how hard it’s been to see you start to believe that you’re not worth even the tiniest bit of love. There’s nothing you can say to convince me that if any of those guys ever gave even the slightest bit of a damn for you, that they wouldn’t have let your fear of being vulnerable affect your relationship with them.”
You sat there stunned in your seat, watching him as he spoke and only blinking in response to his words as you tried to let his words sink in.
“You say you can’t be vulnerable with anyone after Casey, but you can, Y/N. You can because you’ve been vulnerable with me. I’ve seen you ugly cry to the Notebook, or all spaesque in a facemask and in a robe. We’ve had those hard and heartfelt conversations after long nights at the bar. You’ve cried in my arms. I know your biggest dreams and your fears, I know your favorite foods and movies. And that’s not because I’ve been around for so long or that just cause we’re friends– it’s because you let yourself open up to me just like I’ve opened up to you.”
“So yeah, it took me four years and me asking your brother if it was okay to finally ask you on a date, because quite frankly Y/N, seeing you upset on my couch last night was like the final straw. I’m so tired of you giving these guys every chance to hurt you because you don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who is willing to fight to get past those fears you have. Someone who’s not willing to throw you aside because things aren’t easy. So let me be that person for you.”
For the life of you, you could never find a single moment in your memory that ever showed that Jake was interested in you beyond friendship. But when he looked at you and you saw his blue eyes soften as he spoke, you felt a chill go down your spine...because you have seen that look before and you never realized how you missed it.
It was always in the moments when you’d sneak a look at him during whatever you guys were doing– whether it was watching a movie, a game, playing video games, or doing something on vacation– Jake was never slick and you always caught him looking, but you would always just tease him about it and leave it at that.
Little did he know though, too caught up in his own embarrassment, you would always look back at him as soon as he looked away and admire him. Jake was cute, he was your type and he was your best friend– what was there not to like? And maybe you never allowed yourself to cross that thought because of what happened with Casey. Maybe you shoved that small thought and the feelings that came with it so far into the back of your mind that it was something you forgot.
But hearing him talk like this, hearing him speak from the heart about how much he cared for you and what you deserved– it brought you back to the one night where you realized that you had feelings for him that you couldn’t let yourself feel because the pain from Casey was too fresh.
“That summer when you stayed with us a bit after that first season and we went to Cape Cod, do you remember when we snuck out with Logan and Fran and went onto the beach?” You asked, sitting yourself up.
“The first night there?” He asked, furrowing his brows. “Yeah, what about it?”
You swallowed heavily as you played with your hands in your lap, twirling the matching friendship ring you and Fran both wore on your index fingers. “Logan was being an ass and did that whole Jaws scene because he knows how much I hated that movie and how I didn’t want to go out into the water in the first place and I swam back up to the sand and sat there.”
“You followed right behind me and let me use your towel since Logan had rushed us out and I forgot to grab one.” You looked up at him, your heart racing against your chest. “You could’ve gone back into the water, but you stayed up there with me and calmed me down. It’s nothing big, I know...but that was when I realized that I liked you as more than a friend. But I was scared and you...well you’re in the NHL. What could I possibly have to offer you?”
“You don’t need to offer me anything, Y/N,” he spoke softly, reaching out and grabbing onto your right hand. “You’re perfect just the way you are...soaked hair from Logan pulling you down beneath the water and all.”
The both of you laughed as you looked up from your lap, nodding your head. “I guess what I’m saying is that a part of me, well...I’ve liked you too for a long time and I just think I was too scared to let myself feel those feelings because of everything.”
“I don’t want you to be scared with me,” he frowned, shaking his head. “Like I said, Y/N. You’ve been vulnerable with me from the start. And if you decide you want to take this offer and go on more dates and eventually start officially dating, I just want you to know that I won’t give up on you when things get hard and that you can always open up to me, because I’ll never judge you or hurt you. You’re my best friend and I love you.”
Your heart thumped against your chest. You two had said I love you to each other before, but now it was distinguishing which one he meant– as a friend or as something else. “I might need some detail there…”
He tucked his chin down into his chest, something he always did to try and hide the fact he was blushing. “Yeah, I kind of stumbled on that earlier today didn’t I.”
“Yeah,” you blushed, nodding your head.
“I mean, I do...love you, you know? As a friend and...potentially more. I know we’re not dating and we’ve never done anything like that before, but I do have heavy feelings for you. So yeah, I do love you.”
Besides to your family, you’ve only ever said that to one other person in your life before– and it never felt like this. Hearing him say those words made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It calmed the nerves you felt running through your body. It brought a natural smile and blush to your face.
This was so much different than the feelings you felt the first time you were in love– it wasn’t a feeling you felt like you needed to constantly chase to be able to feel. It was stable, it was comforting…
It was Jake and he was there all along, right in front of you for the last four years.
“I love you too,” you spoke softly, fighting the blush on your cheeks as you looked at him, watching his eyes widen for a split second as he registered your words before the smile grew on his face and he squeezed your hand. “We kind of did this backward, didn’t we?”
“What do you mean?” He asked, furrowing his brows.
“We just said I love you to each other and we haven’t even gone on our first date yet...let alone kiss. Kind of backward, don’t you think?”
“We’re on our first date now, kind of,” he replied, looking around them. “As for the kiss, that’s an easy fix.”
Before you could say a single word, his left hand cupped the right side of your face as he leaned across the center console and pressed his lips softly against yours, the feeling of his beard scratching against your skin something you never thought you would become addicted to in such a short moment or the aroma of the coconut shampoo and conditioner you convinced him to buy would become your favorite scent.
Kissing Jake was everything you never knew you were missing– and all it was, was a simple kiss.
When he pulled away, you could smell the mint from his toothpaste on his breath and you smiled, reaching up and brushing your left thumb across his jaw. “I knew you’d be a good kisser.”
“Oh, you did?” He laughed, kissing your forehead before leaning back into his seat.
“Mhhm, just an intuition.” You shrugged, putting your seatbelt back on as he did the same and put the car into reverse. “So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
“Figured we could go play some laser tag.” He shrugged, smiling at you as he started to drive again.
“Ooh, taking us back to our roots huh?” You smiled, looking at him. “Back to where it all began?”
“Makes sense, doesn’t it?” He asked. “It’s where we first became friends and it’s now going to be where we went on our first date.”
“Just tell me this,” you said, shifting in your seat and turning to him. “Are we on the same team or not?”
“Divide and conquer? Absolutely not,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I’d rather not play against my girlfriend, thanks.”
“Girlfriend, hm?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “I never said I agreed to be your girlfriend. Besides, you never asked.”
Jake turned to you with wide eyes before pouting. “I just poured my heart and soul out to you…”
“How about this,” you smiled, leaning against the center console. “We play on different teams. You win and I’ll be your girlfriend.”
“And if you win?” He asked, looking at you with an intrigued smile at your competitive proposition.
“Then I’ll be your girlfriend...and you get me a jersey to wear to the games.”
He laughed, reaching out and resting his hand on your left leg, squeezing it softly. “Deal.”
“May the best win.” You smiled, resting your hand on top of his and leaning back into your seat.
As you continued the drive to laser tag, you caught yourself looking over at Jake more than a few times and not being ashamed whenever he looked back with a smile on his face. You were scared, yes. There was something unknown about crossing over the boundary of your friendship with Jake...but there was also a sense of comfort you felt because it was Jake. You believed everything he said to you about what you deserved and how he felt.
And yeah, you were scared, and even after all of that you were still feeling a little undeserving of the heartfelt words that Jake had spoken to you, but then he’d look at you and you would see that soft look in his eyes and it all went away.
Jake was everything you’d been missing without knowing you were missing it– and now that you’ve found it, you didn’t want to let it go.
You finally felt loved.
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