#jaehyun one shot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

killshotbabe · 1 year

Text

Title | Acquainted

Pairing | billionaire!Jaehyun x bodyguard!reader ft. NCT

Warnings | minors dni! slightly rude!Jaehyun, Jaehyun and reader “don’t get along”, use of swear words, brief mention of a bad injury (not to main pairing) sexual tension, solo masturbation, voyeur tendencies, fingering, face riding, choking, smut, slightly rough, unprotected sex (please wear protection!) creampie, slight breeding kink?

Word count | 4k (Got carried away oops!)

Song(s) | My All - Larissa Lambert (cover), Hopeless - Always Never

A.N | This was so goddamn long than originally planned but enjoy!

“Maybe you should leave.”

He suggested, cutting you off mid-sentence as you were explaining why it would better for him to take another route you’ve spent some time going over with the private personnel.

It had gone through the approval of your chief in charge as well having to have earned his full trust in the past but what you didn’t expect was for Jaehyun, your current boss in flesh, to reject your entrance and exit plans for the upcoming 50th charity ball he’s going to be attending in a few in two weeks.

The charity ball that was supposed to be tended by his father but after suffering what happens to be his third stroke, he made an ultimate decision to pass his head of position down to his only son, Jaehyun, who’s going to eventually earn it anyway by the time his father succumbs into old age and eventually die and be buried six feet under but due to his worsening health, Jaehyun officially took over.

Not one blinked an eye after such huge announcement has been made.

Some would say it’s a bit “pre-mature” you think, but it was the only right thing to do.

After all, no one wanted the Jung Empire to crumble into its last feet and from what you heard, Jaehyun is quite popular despite being the youngest from the line-up of old, obnoxious balding men.

It wasn’t like as if he preferred to live a different life — he had the option to do so, but he’s always wanted to follow his father’s footsteps since the very young age. He went from eavesdropping to his father’s meetings behind the door, and sometimes he would bring his toy cars into his father’s study and sit on the plush carpet as his father spoke to the phone, ball point always on-hand, glass of wine to the side. Jaehyun did this for as long as he can remember until they began to fit him into custom tailored suits to wear when he goes to his father’s meetings with him or without him which he had been tending to for the past few months, so this was not something new to him.

The new thing, though, was you being appointed his new private bodyguard due to the increasing tension coming from the outsiders who are threatened by Jaehyun’s sudden take-over. From what you do know, they have been keeping an eye on his father since the news of his illness (which the private sector has tried to keep in the shadows) leaked to the press, spiking gossips and rumours from nobodies. This also caused a major rift, threatening the future of the company Mr. Jung has been taking a great care of for decades, and even if he may be the nicest person in the world of business — he’s more prone to having enemies waiting for him to fall apart and now that Jaehyun has begun his long journey as the new head of The Jung enterprise, a new target has now been placed on the back of his head.

All was left is for him to try and dodge the bullet with your help, of course.

But that wasn’t going to happen easily — not when he’s not been a good sport to you.

At first, you thought he was just getting used to being the new chairman so you decided to back off and let him take a breather, but soon you find out he does have a rather mean streak and preferred to be alone and do everything alone. He doesn’t really speak to anyone at home too. You would see him chat with the head maid from time to time and maybe greet the security and other staff guarding his home but that was about it, he had no close relationship with them even if they worked with him and Mr. Jung for a while, which you find quite sad, but it was still none of your business.

You’ve only been here for around two weeks and you do reside in his home as well, but it did feel like you lived else where.

His luxurious house — composed of a total of four levels, shiny marbled floors and expensive hand-picked art adoring the wide plains of the black tourmaline walls felt rather strange to you. It was often quiet whenever you walked into the hallway at the dead of the night with the occasional swoosh from the french windows gracing your sharp hearing. You’ve only spent an ample of time doing security checks around his home but you haven’t been to any specific rooms even if you do memorize the entire floor plan and know which room is which, including the hidden underground bunker built into the house which you hope you wouldn’t end up using at all if shit does hit the fan.

Other than yourself, the security and the rest of the morning staff do not reside in his home but in a separate complex nearby so technically, it was just you and Jaehyun confined in such a huge space.

Mr. Jung lived somewhere else which you have been once or twice but compared to your first impression to both, you’d rather stay at Mr. Jung’s just because it felt like someone was actually living there and you don’t really mind the smell of tobacco. Here, at Jaehyun’s however, didn’t feel like that at all. You wouldn’t even know if he’s at home if the cctv didn’t notify you of his arrival (and your phone too because you can actually track his whereabouts) or until you see a faint light from his study or anywhere else really.

Jaehyun didn’t like keeping bright lights on so his house appeared to be more eerie and colder when the sun is no longer in the horizon. You got used to it rather quickly though. It was peaceful, maybe too peaceful for your taste but it’s better than sleeping at your old apartment where the next door neighbours would often fight, their harsh words penetrating your thin walls, and plus, the head chef and maid cooks great food. You couldn’t complain about that when you have been given the chance to not worry about any groceries anymore to keep you alive and kicking.

You like to think you’ve hit a jackpot since accepting this newly-appointed job: to be Jaehyun’s second eyes and iron shield and you thought it was simple but things were never simple.

Life didn’t work like that but at the very least, you’re alive and breathing.

At least I’m alive and breathing.

You chanted like a mantra as you forced a lump in your throat, still holding your ground in front of Jaehyun who made no effort to even took at you in the eye.

“Jaehyun.”

You try again, stressing that he needs to approve your plan before you can fuck off the premises which you’ve been wanting do the moment you stepped a heeled foot into his spacious study. If it wasn’t for the low murmur of jazz playing softly from the turntable close to his mahogany desk, you would’ve yelled at him by now but you chose not to.

You pride yourself as his main bodyguard and you didn’t want him to treat you like some doormat.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” He flipped through a couple of pages from a stack of papers he’s been reviewing for God knows how long and there was more, but he kept it tidy and very organized, and yet you can’t help but feel his mind may not be the same right at this moment. “I said no.”

“You could end up in a bad situation. Had you not realize your enemies are trying to threaten you lately?” You say, tone coming off stern than how you’d like it to be. “Have you not been noticing the extra security we’ve been adding for you this past week?”

He paused, sighing and you think you may have won a little but if anything, you just pissed him off even more.

“Just do whatever the fuck you want, alright? Your job is to protect me so take it upon yourself and move. No need to run it by me.”

You fought not to grit your teeth, composure still straight. “Well, you could’ve just said yes to begin with. Easy as that and I would be out the door.”

“Your plan has too many unnecessary changes.” He began to type on the keyboard, still not sparing you a glance. “I don’t like it but whatever makes you sleep at night.”

“I’m doing this for you.” You reminded, ready to turn your back to him and out. “A simple “yes” would’ve been easy and I follow a protocol which involves me to ask you for an approval first. Like it or not, this is in my contract and you, out of everyone else here, should know. Have good evening, Sir.”

You found yourself out of his study just like that and made your way to your room wanting to take a cold shower after your useless exchange with Jaehyun.

When you were gone, all he did was lean his head over his leather seat, eyes fluttering close with an exasperated sigh leaving his lips.

For the next week ahead of the charity ball event he’s sponsoring as one of the main ambassadors, you stuck by him always walking three steps ahead to clear the area before it’s deemed safe for him to move. You and your team stayed alert and hot on heels, especially when there have been a surge of crowds garnering for him and it did nothing but bring stress to you and your team. Not only had the threats against him and his family empire had gone worse, but his own “fangirls” as well.

You thought it was over once you and Jaehyun make it back home until you found two young girls that couldn’t be younger than eighteen taking pictures of the car he has used on the way back from a meeting.

The meeting was short and it was his only schedule this afternoon so you didn’t tag along but still dispatched two personnel from your team to be with him so you can finish your annual report your chief wants you to complete before the end of this week. It was by chance actually — you typing away with the security panel on your other screen when a lone taxi drove by the gates two times. Anything more than that was deemed suspicious you had to watch carefully and soon enough, you found yourself outside with girls’ camera on your hand which you had confiscated.

You recognized one of them as one of the socialite’s daughter which you do consider as a major threat — The Chois were just as powerful but they haven’t been on their A-game lately especially when they’re competing with Jaehyun.

You drummed your hand on top of the taxi’s roof, peering closer to the girls who are now blinking owlishly at you. One of them looking like they’re about to pee their pants after seeing your gun holstered to your belt loop.

“Are you girls here to see Jaehyun? He doesn’t give autographs.” You joked, other hand sifting through the gallery of their DSLR. “Do you guys work for some damn magazine I don’t know about?”

“No—um we,” The bleached blonde one stuttered as you deleted all of the shots they got of Jaehyun’s. “We’re fans of his…”

“Well, what do you know about him?” You raised a brow, satisfied with your neat work but refused to give it back to them yet. “Last time I checked he’s just some really powerful billionaire dude… Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

The brunette smacked the blonde’s one knee, attempting to stop her from responding to you and further reveal why they’re here to begin with. She did know who you are and you being a total cutthroat by your poise and how you held yourself whenever you’re with Jaehyun and she was scared of you, truly.

“We… won’t be back here anymore. I’m sorry.” She begged, round eyes trying to make you feel pity even if you already know the way she behaved whenever she’s there on sight when she’s not supposed to. “Please give the camera back to us…”

But you didn’t make it easy. If it’s not for their family then it’s possible that they’re working with whatever media outlet is after Jaehyun too.

Nonetheless, you decide to give the camera back considering it wasn’t chipped or anything which you checked before you cleared all of Jaehyun’s pictures.

“If I see you two out here again, you better stop what you’re doing and if you’re working for someone, put an end to it.” You tossed them the camera with a glare. “I’ll let you go this time but I won’t next time, then you’ll wish you never met me at all.”

The girls nodded quickly, blood draining off their faces as they begged for the taxi driver to floor it. You wait until they’re out of sight before heading back, meeting Jungwoo, one of the security personnel, on your way in to the foyer.

“Just some girls.” You shrug. You do make a note to do some more research about them later though. “Is he upstairs?”

“Yeah. He said he was going to sleep so I’m leaving now and rot out there. Don’t tell him I stole an orange from the kitchen.”

He grinned, showing you the round fruit in his palm.

Jungwoo was a new addition too, but you do think he built a better relationship with Jaehyun considering the fact that you caught them joking around at one point and you think that wasn’t fair.

You couldn’t blame Jungwoo though. He’s super chill and smiled a lot unlike you with your permanent scowl embedded in your face. It did bother you from time to time, but your relationship with Jaehyun has gone to shit since the beginning (for a reason you don’t know) and you think it’s because he just doesn’t like having a tail following him around even if the nature of his work required one.

To this day, you have already accepted your fate when it came to him. You were here not become his friend after all, and you can tell he sure he feels the same way.

Work was work and you had a contract to fulfil until then. You weren’t here for the sake of having your feelings involved.

“Bold of you to assume he’d notice.” You smiled, sending him away. “Just help yourself whenever!”

“K! Have a good rest of the afternoon! Mark also says he’ll be late for security check!”

“Got it!”

Once you heard the front doors shut, you climb back upstairs and back to you room to resume where you left off. By 7:30 pm, you find yourself waking up from an accidental nap you took in the middle of conducting your report. You cursed and planned to do your finishing touches but not without a cup of newly-brewed coffee on your side so you find yourself in the main kitchen, helping yourself up when the head maid padded down the hall, calling your name upon seeing you.

“Have you eaten yet?” She halted just beside you as you stirred a spoon into your coffee. “You can’t be drinking that without eating anything? I made mushroom soup for dinner. Made steak too with potatoes.”

“Maybe later I will, thanks.” You smiled sheepishly as you take a sip from your mug. “I just had a snack so…”

“You could’ve just joined Jaehyun earlier.” She whispered, teasing you with a pinch on your elbow which caused you break into a sudden yelp. “He looked really tense…Almost felt bad for the steak.”

You shook your head, placing your cup on the counter, folding your arms to mimic the head maid.

“Isn’t he always?”

“True, but he just looks lonely being alone there I keep wondering why you two won’t just eat together.”

You could only shrug, the visual of him sitting alone eating dinner in a huge table wracking your brain.

“We don’t get along.”

“Oh c’mon…” The older lady rolled her eyes at your predicament. “I’m getting real sick of watching the two of you avoiding each other like the black plague unless you’re out to chaperone him. We thought you’d would work especially when you’re around his age, and I know he can be a pain in the ass but why not try with him? This house is too damn big already.”

“You know I’m just here for work…” You murmur, letting her words affect you a little anyway because she was the only one who could sense how you really felt no matter how many times you voluntarily plunged yourself in denial.

You remember the first time they introduced you to him just a couple of weeks go.

It was on sunny day and the start of fall. You always liked fall because there’s always a positive shift in the air even if it slowly got colder. You like to think of it as letting go of the dead things you can no longer care, or hold closely to your heart that you’ve wanted to get rid of as your life went by.

From your old position to becoming Jaehyun’s bodyguard did raise a lot of new opportunities and new surroundings as it required you to move to his place. You were giddy and quite excited, wanting to leave you former apartment situated in busy area from not-so-good side of the city. The raise was also splendid— you think if you keep this position for one year you’d be able to buy a better apartment elsewhere and have a whole space for yourself and you know you will eventually get there.

But what you didn’t really expect was how rude Jaehyun had treated you since the beginning.

When you were introduced to him by your chief, all he did was nod and went on his day with you tailing after him as you shadowed his old bodyguard days before they were to be dispatched overseas permanently. It was nice when the bodyguard was there until you woke up in his shoes, now calling all shots and leading the whole team which had been exhilarating at first, but you knew your capabilities and thought highly of yourself, even if Jaehyun doesn’t really acknowledge or has ever initiated a conversation when you’re alone in a room with him.

You can’t really pinpoint what his deal was — you thought he might be misogynistic but that wasn’t the case. There were women in your team and he treated any woman no different like how he treated the rest, at least from what you noticed. You didn’t want to confront him about it as well seeing that it might just sound dumb and too far-fetched but your gut have been telling you there’s more to it. You just didn’t know how to approach him about it, not when he’s too busy and has other priorities to tend to than listen to what you have to say concerning your feelings.

He doesn’t even like the plans and changes you make for him regarding his entire safety, what more about how you really feel?

But you were still a human being and you know you will be treated as such so eventually, you’ll bring it up but not today, not anytime soon at least.

“And work it is…But try to get along, okay? I may not be here all the time but I can sense the sour atmosphere whenever I clean up.”

You chuckled, leering close to her. “Maybe it’s just the dead souls buried under the house trying to get your attention…”

“Hey, don’t say stuff like young lady! You know how superstitious I can get.” She backs off you, not liking the fact that you just brought up “ghosts”. “…Maybe I’ll sage the entire house the next time you guys are away again! Don’t want Jaehyun to smell it and complain.”

“I don’t think he’ll care. He hasn’t been to anywhere else but his floor lately.” You laugh, placing your hand on the shorter woman’s shoulder. “So do it anytime. I like the smell of it.”

“Fine, I will. Just because I like you like that.” She pats your hand, thanking you for your little massage before sending you off with your coffee. “And don’t ditch dinner!”

You make sure to eat around midnight, completely lost in you report.

You ate more than you could possibly take in one sitting but didn’t care if it was going to give you a stomach ache which you had attempted to sleep off, but around 3 am, you find yourself unable to go back to bed so naturally, you sat upright and leaned against your headboard, laptop on-hand and see if you maybe watch one of those scary indie games on youtube.

You found them weirdly comforting and often watched them but before you could put one on and have it lull you back to bed, the live footage of Jaehyun’s dim-lit room suddenly flashed into your screen in full-size.

You can’t help but panic a little since you were not supposed to watch him at such ungodly hour. You were given this specific access from hours 6-9 pm. That was the arrangement, but it didn’t mean your master access would disable the live feed during after hours. You have full control of it so it was all up to you, and it’s not like someone is actually keeping track of how many times you’d watch him, not when his room is only for your eyes and nobody else’s.

You were just about to hover your mouse to the top right corner of your screen and exit out of the window when he stirred in his sleep, calling your attention. Not even a couple of seconds later he, too, sat up and leaned against the headboard, mimicking your current position.

You raised a brow, feeling a little intimate with the current situation — he’s literally sitting there with his eyes closed and he had no shirt on, showing you what was hiding beneath his usual suit jacket.

You blinked, rubbing the sleep from your eyes before you found yourself peering closer, unable to take your eyes off him and his bare skin riddled with great abs. You knew he did work-out but still…

“What the fuck am I doing…” You shook your head in utter disbelief, feeling like a total creep now. “I should probably go to sleep.”

You smack yourself on the cheek and tried to exit out of the window when your peripheral vision caught him slide his hand under his blanket, palming himself with closed eyes, a serene look on his face.

You suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Your pupils practically quivered when he parted his pretty lips just slightly so he could spit on his hand before rubbing his bare cock with it again and again for you to see, instantly making you snap your thighs together as you became more hyperaware of what he was doing in front of you. You tried so hard to look away from the screen, shut your laptop close and forget this ever happened but you simply couldn’t look away — not when he just pulled the comforter down to his knees, revealing his hard cock — standing upright, hypnotizing you to come closer and see which you did, jaw going slack upon realizing he was, in fact, big too.

You watched him give himself a few generous pumps before he laid back down, a half-grin on his face as he continued to fuck himself in his fist. You like to think he’d made a sound from what you’re seeing and it only did nothing but make you wet, your arousal already soiling your underwear as you forced yourself not to do anything about it at all. You think you should feel any ounce of guilt right now, having to watch a very private moment, but your head had gone to mush and you just couldn’t bring your hand to exit out of the feed.

He was too beautiful, fucking himself into his fist like that with a lazy smile gracing his face — the type of smile you’ve never seen him do in person.

Oh, you wished you’d be the one making him feel good like that..

As he rutted himself into his fist, on the way to reach his peak, you found yourself snaking your hand between your legs now spreading it wide in front of the feed. You swore at how incredibly sensitive and soaked you’ve become as you moved your thong to the side, biting your lip when you smeared your wetness all over your aching pussy before eventually sliding two fingers in, your eyes blown with nothing but pure desire as you watched Jaehyun attentively, slowly pumping your fingers inside you in the same rhythm he was going.

When he eventually did come, rewarding you with spurts of his cum landing on his toned abs, you did too, with your hand clamping around your mouth to prevent yourself from moaning too loud.

He went back to bed like that, his expression so peaceful as you tried to catch your breath, your own wetness slipping out of your cunt and on to your bedsheet between your trembling legs.

You didn’t sleep that night.

The morning hours before the commencement of the charity ball, you begrudgingly delivered Jaehyun’s three piece navy suit to his study thinking he wasn’t inside but at the rooftop pool.

Much to your horror, however, he was in fact inside his study and he was shirtless with just some grey sweats hanging low to his hips, jet black hair combed backwards and still damp from the shower he just took. You almost dropped the neatly-wrapped black box onto the floor when he advanced to your side to retrieve his phone from his desk. You cleared your throat, backing off. “It’s from Prada.”

“Yeah, and you were supposed to pick them up, right?”

You stopped on your heel, halfway his wing already. You didn’t think he’d catch on to be honest. You knew you were supposed to pick it up for him but because you didn’t get any sleep, you ended up sleeping in for a couple more hours until Mark, one of the night personnel, knocked on your door to pass you his daily report after he couldn’t find you somewhere in the ground floor.

“I’m sorry. I just missed my alarm.”

You lied, hoping he would just let it go. You didn’t even think he’d care about it at all. It’s not like you overslept the entire day and completely forgot about your tasks today.

You thought about him last night again, a flush of warmth creeping on your cheeks but you fought to push those sinful thoughts away.

“Well, don’t be late next time then?” He turned his back to you so he can open the box and examine what’s inside.

You scoffed, trying to look away from his nicely-sculpted back muscles and proceeded to be on your way out when he suddenly called your name for the first time since the first day you’ve been appointed to be his bodyguard.

It caught you off-guard for a second there but you refused to provide him with any type of reaction when you spun around and met his eyes.

He has an unreadable expression on his face — something you couldn’t quite read but it did nothing but make your heartbeats pump faster than normal.

He leaned his hips to his desk, lean and muscular arms perched behind him to the flat surface.

“You have a good eye, do you?”

You raised a brow, trying so hard not to cast your gaze from his neck and down south, his grey sweats mocking you. It was the same one he wore last night.

“… Maybe?” You trailed off, not that confident like he presumed you to be with your chin high, eyes almost as dark as the evening sky and your signature red lipstick painted perfectly on your lips.

You somehow didn’t have that on today like the usual and your long black hair, always pinned and tied, just flowing smoothly on your back.

He sensed there was something off, but he liked the look you sported today. It made you look younger and innocent-looking.

He wasn’t going to lie, it did tickle his fancy.

“Then come by later and help me choose what looks good.”

You feel his wondering eyes scrutinize you for the first time, and you couldn’t help but stay still, not breathing at all until he turned around and disappeared into a corner of his study, leaving you stranded in the middle of it all.

For how many times you wished he’d learn to acknowledge you, you now sincerely hoped he never did because with the way he was looking at you just now, you couldn’t help but feel there is something else in those dark brown eyes.

Whatever it was, you think you wouldn’t be ready for it.

“We’re taking my route.”

You announce as you got on the passenger side with Jungwoo behind the wheel.

You’re on your way to the charity ball right now with Jaehyun on his phone, conversation seemingly boring but you still listened, taking notes.

He’s put on a patterned suit jacket instead of the navy one Prada brought for him and he looked too gorgeous in it like he always did but today, you think this might be your favourite look of his so far — jet black hair pushed back with a strand falling on his forehead, his neck adorned with a dainty silver necklace accentuating his regality… You were quite bummed you didn’t end up choosing anything for him due to an emergency meeting he had to be a part of when he was getting ready too so you chose to take your time getting ready instead, picking a total of three outfits you’ve laid to your bed before eventually gunning for the satin number in ivory.

You like to think you didn’t do so bad yourself too. If not, this has been the most dressed you’ve been for this type of occasion. You think you could get used to this at some point but it was still a little overwhelming for you.

You didn’t like being a part crowds reeking of nothing but money and gin, and chatting with any socialites at all even if you had to just because you’re Jaehyun’s bodyguard. You wished you had Jungwoo’s or Johnny’s post, only situated up the corridors hiding from plain sight to watch for any suspicious and unusual activity. You had to be more alert for it, but at least they stayed in the shadows unlike what you’re going to be doing once you and Jaehyun arrive to the ball.

“Don’t keep a long distance but stray closer to him, alright?” Your chief instructed at least two days before the event. “Just received a note from the sector and said someone from there might try to harm him, so be on the look out. I’m sending more back up in case.”

Saying you’re not that nervous might be an understatement.

You practically shivered on your way out of the car, cursing at the lack of clothing you wore for the event. You did have an option to wear slacks, but you wanted to wear a dress this time around since slacks was your regular uniform, and you wanted to look like you’d blend into this type of crowd as well, not wanting to stand out like a sore thumb (which you already do) but least you could do is pretend.

Pretend that you’re a socialite for once and what chief said, “Act like his equally rich girlfriend.”

“I’m off. Rendezvous in…three hours?” Jungwoo hummed as Jaehyun took off, leaving you with Jungwoo by the staircase. You scoffed. “And…he’s off. Ugh, tell him not stay here for more than three or i’ll eat my fucking fist.”

“Make it two and a half. I hate shit like this.” You sighed, waving him off. “See ya. Don’t fall asleep.”

“Ay-ay Captain!”

Midway into the charity event, you started to yawn as you watched Jaehyun having a pleasant conversation with a group of older men, some of them without an arm candy or if they did have one, they were from the overseas — all tanned and blonde with a variety of luxurious brands all over their outfit.

You thought they were rather tacky so you looked away, reaching for another flute of champagne to get rid of the nasty taste of some fancy snack you tried earlier. Something about an “escargot,” which caused Jungwoo to cackle devilishly from your earbud before translating what you just ate.

You felt like gagging, hating the thought of snails being digested in you right now but since you couldn’t leave Jaehyun alone as he continued his rounds to mingle with every damn guest in the room, you had no choice but to suck it up and hope the champagne can help get rid of the taste.

You could only stand there, watching everyone like a hawk before your gaze eventually fell on Jaehyun who was casually smiling to a girl dressed in dainty blue chiffon, accentuating her slim build.

She was cute, couldn’t be younger than him and she’s patting him on the chest now, getting a little brave with her manicured hands.

“Butter knife just arrived.”

You cupped the earbud plugged in your ear, still keeping an eye on Jaehyun.

“He’s here? Jungwoo, is he alone?”

“No… wait— Johnny says there’s one more coming from south. White van — fuck, it’s Sanchez!” There was a harsh whisper on the other side. “You have to get Jaehyun out of there.”

“He’s fucking surrounded with girls, I just— continue reporting to me I’m getting him out now.”

You suppress the panic surging through your veins as you slowly approach Jaehyun now being flocked around by female socialites right in the middle of the ballroom.

“I don’t think anyone is suspicious in the ball right now — Yuta said but just, yeah get him out. Chief found Sanchez being a part of the Amos cartel. He’s a fucking traitor.”

“Yeah, I know. They’ve been on the radar for days. They’re invited aren’t they?”

You stop by your tracks before you proceed, finding a small gap between several bodies you can snake through and hopefully get Jaehyun out of there soon.

“Yeah. They’re under that old bastard, Brekker, so leave. Jaehyun did his talk part anyway.” Jungwoo snapped. “Mark is waiting right in front of your exit, right behind Centennial. Go.”

And so you did, now latching a hand around Jaehyun’s wrist, pulling him out of the growing crowd and into you.

“Sorry, ladies. Judgment calls!”

He waved, a little tipsy as you dragged him towards your left exit and into the hall, not letting him walk on his own without you tugging his hand.

You whipped your head around, noticing Jeno one of the back-up posted up far away from your left. You share a brief nod before you proceed to one of the shortcuts which led to a narrow dim-lit hall, dragging Jaehyun behind you, his hand now clasped around your wrist.

“Wait, wait— slow down!” He half-yelled, unable to catch on.

“No, we keep going and I’ll tell you after. Just let me do this, okay?” He was about to say something else when you called Jungwoo, using your free hand to tell him to shut it. “Jeno’s on watch. Is Chenle okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about that kid. Are you almost out? Should take you no more than two minutes.”

“Yeah,” You walked hastily as Jaehyun jogged beside you. “I got Jaehyun with me. Will be out soon.”

“Okay, okay great you’re almost there and — what? Who?” There was a murmur and a static noise interrupting you conversation which caused your brows to furrow but you kept going, the sight of one of the unused doors just a couple of steps ahead of you.

“Shit! Hey, you guys keep going. I’ll call you later.”

You blinked rapidly, free hand fixed to your earphone. “What? No — what the hell?” You grumbled but let it go as you made it out of the building with Jaehyun who’s now looking at you, noticing your worry but decided to leave it be until you found yourselves on the backseat of Mark’s car.

“Jungwoo just ditched me and I don’t know what the hell is happening inside.” You pushed Jaehyun to the side, your arm fixed to his lap as you spoke to Mark, now exiting the back alleyway and into a different route avoiding the main street. “You got any updates?”

“They’re saying one of Amos’ people got into the corridor.” Mark said, eyes focused of the road. “Chenle found him but he wasn’t alone. He should be fine though, I trust him.”

“But who’s on that floor? We made a last minute change just earlier.”

“Renjun — hey, strap yourself up though I’m about to speed so we can get off the intersection. Don’t worry about the guys.” He said rather sternly to try and get your mind off the gutter but something felt wrong and you can feel it in your gut — and you were always right.

“You have to tell me when Jungwoo’s on.”

You sigh in defeat, still quite tense when you felt Jaehyun tug your seatbelt for you, coaxing you to slide it without saying anything on which you eventually did. You were so glad he didn’t even bother interjecting but kept quiet, letting you and Mark talk and fill in the creeping silence.

You muttered a “thanks” to Jaehyun but made sure to stay alert until Mark gets any updates or maybe yourself, but for some reason you had a feeling it wasn’t going to come to you.

“There has been a break-in the corridor. Surveillance team are okay, and Chenle’s in the ER. Cops are on site. Had to get everyone out of there but no one sustained any bad injuries. Chief’s on duty and says you did a good job. They will control the press when this gets out.”

Mark closed the door behind him, eyes on his phone. You swore under your breath and started to pace around of the hotel room you had booked in advanced when something like this takes place.

You thought of Chenle and clenched your jaw, glaring at Mark.

“It’s not your fault. He just miscalculated. Assailant went for his leg.”

“With a knife?” You exhaled and sat back down, Jaehyun just on the other bed, gaze falling on you and a slightly nervous Mark who couldn’t help but loosen his tie. “Please tell me it was a damn knife and it wasn’t deep.”

“Yeah, a little deep but he’ll live. Hey.” Mark squatted now as he levelled with your gaze with his. “I promise I’ll update you but I’ve gotta meet up with Jungwoo and Johnny and check surveillance around the compound, alright?”

“Yeah… Go, I’m sorry but please, please update me about Chenle, okay?”

“Will do. I know he’s your fave just because he’s the youngest. He’ll be okay. Yeah? Mark smiled, tapping your knee attempting to sooth you. “If he finds out you were so worried about him it might get to his head so simmer it down and try to get rest.”

“Okay…”

You watched Mark leave into the hallway as the door automatically closed, trapping you and Jaehyun in a hushed silence.

It didn’t fully sink in that you were alone with him in one room until he voluntarily broke the silence, tiredness in his deep voice so evident.

“Who was it this time?”

You slowly twisted your torso to face him.

“Brekker.”

“I trust that he’ll soon find himself behind the bars by you, right?”

His eyes remained closed as you slowly found yourself tracing the outline of his black slacks and all the way to his patterned suit jacket, and finally, his peaceful riddled face — the exact one you saw through the live feed last night as he gave you a slice of heaven.

A scarlet hue spread on your cheeks. He looked like he just jumped out of photoshoot whilst you sat there, looking a little out of it, dress semi-wrinkled and with your lipstick drying out into the cracks, eventually making it ooze out some blood. You rubbed a finger across it, flinching from the sting.

“We’re working on it and trying our best.”

You say a little quietly as your ear perked up to his relaxed “hmm”.

You attempted to distract yourself from the sheer worry coursing through you, so you decide to get up and head to the en suite bathroom to wash the minimal make up from your face and only slipped out after a quick bath, wearing a spare night wear as you darted back into the now dim-lit room, seeing Jaehyun had already fallen asleep in the same clothes.

You could only exhale, feeling like you’ve been holding your breath for so long.

You gave him a slow glance as you occupied the other bed adjacent to his, sliding yourself further to the other side of your bed before you switched your phone on to read two new messages from Mark. Chenle was still okay, but he will have to be confined in the hospital for a few days due to a nasty blow he endured by the ribs requiring immediate treatment.

You sighed, texting him back and Jungwoo before you placed your phone back on the bedside table, leaving the yellow glow from the lamp next to you, gradually lulling you to sleep.

You woke up at 3 am, all parched so you went for a drink then back to bed. You couldn’t go back to sleep, however, which resulted in a series of rolls and turns trying to find a position you’d be comfortable sleeping at.

“Can’t sleep?”

You gasped, back fully turned from a sleepy Jaehyun lying somewhere in the darkness.

Was he awake this whole time watching and hearing you struggle?

“I think.”

You pulled your comforter over your shoulder, now awake, glazed eyes staring up the ceiling. You traced the victorian details on the ceiling above you as you hear Jaehyun move.

From your peripheral vision, you can see the outline of his arm, his long sleeve now rolled up to his forearm, making you clench your jaw.

“You’re still thinking about Chenle?”

There was a genuine concern on his tone, which surprised you, but after what happened today, you knew he couldn’t afford to make you feel like you want to shoot yourself in the head, and if he hadn’t, you’re not sure if you’d even let him sleep. You could fight him if he did try to frustrate you more but this wasn’t bad — the calm was good. It soothed you even if you felt like you were about to cry earlier because of what happened to Chenle, though you did keep in mind that this was your first.

Just as long as they’re safe…

“A bit.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “He’s the youngest… I think I’d go crazy if something happened to him.”

“But he’s okay. And that’s all that matters, right?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed a lump in your throat, your back still facing him.

You could feel him stare at you now and it did nothing but send goosebumps all over your skin.

There was a suffocating silence that seemed to last for eternity and you thought you’d be able to just force yourself back to sleep somehow until you hear Jaehyun talk again.

“You did a good job today.”

His words alone made you blink owlishly.

You thought you were going to melt right there and then and you, so badly, want to hear him say that again than deal with his usual condescending tone but you couldn’t be greedy.

“Do you hate me?”

You asked out of blue, seeing as this might be the only right time you could have a heart-to-heart with him. The both of you are stuck in one small space after all.

You didn’t need to find him and vice versa, so you went for it after a sudden bravery shot up into the surface.

But he didn’t answer.

You were about to repeat yourself again when he cut you off.

“Maybe.”

“Really?” You scoffed, tongue poking to the side of your mouth. “You never really acknowledge me, you know?”

He was quiet as you tensed up, continuing on with your little rant anyway now that you had suddenly developed the nerve to try to find out what his deal was and why he seemed to not be fond of you at all.

“Since the day we met… We don’t eat together…We live in one house and yet—“

“I don’t think you want to know.”

Upon hearing him say that, you pulled yourself up from your bed, fists falling to your side as you stared at him in the dark. You could make out his face and everything else. It didn’t even seem like he moved any muscle at all, so you allow him to bask in his short-lived peace before you stood by the foot of his bed, fury embedded in your eyes.

“Don’t you have some basic human decency?” You try not to lose it. “You treat every body else nice but when it comes to me…”

“Don’t start.” He warned, still laying down but he’s now staring back at you, his dark eyes penetrating yours in an endless battle you drew upon yourselves.

“I want to know why and you will tell me.” You declared, not taking what he said as a warning. “Right. Now. Jaehyun.”

“You really want to have this conversation right now?” He was back on his feet now, towering over you as he inched closer to you, a bite of sheer frustration and anger in his next words. “You just piss me off. I didn’t want you.”

“Did I even do anything to you for you to hate me?” You barked back, chin up high as you attempt to stand your ground but you soon found yourself backing away as he continued to advance, threatening to trap you. “I don’t get you at all! I’m the best from the recruits and I don’t care if you have little faith on me—“

“I don’t care if you’re the best.” He jammed a hand just above your head, caging you against the cold wall. “But your chief shouldn’t have given you to me.”

“Why not? God, just stop being fucking cryptic and tell me!’ You yelled, one hand pushing him off by his chest only for him to grab your hand and spin you around, your cheek meeting the wall with a small gasp knocked out from your chest as he locked your arm behind you.

“You’re a lot. Fiery and always held your chin high no matter what. Makes me want to mess you up a little.” He rested his chin on your tensed shoulder, his next words in a light whisper, and yet it had venom, poisoning your bloodstream. “Calling all the shots, bossing me around, trying to fight me while you look like this?”

You let out a wanton gasp when you feel his callused hand run up and down your inner thigh, his intoxicating, manly warm scent invading your senses.

You think you might have blacked out for a moment when his warm hand made its way to the curve of your waist, the soft material of your camisole being lifted by his fingers as he rubbed your bare skin, his darkened gaze attentive to the pleased expression you made for him.

“Jaehyun—“

“Do you understand now?” You feel his plush lips brush your nape, his hand snaking all the way up your skin. “I thought I could get rid of you without having to do anything, thinking one day you’ll just walk out and leave but you stayed. Then I catch you touching yourself in your room a couple of times because you couldn’t be bothered to shut the fucking door close. You know I’m home.”

You feel your pussy throb as he proceeded to grope your bare breasts, fingers playing with your hardened nipples. “You keep doing it so many times I was starting to think you’re fucking crazy.”

You genuinely thought he wouldn’t be able to find out knowing he doesn’t lurk in your floor — but now you know he does and maybe, there was always this sick fantasy you kept to yourself, thinking that one day he’d catch on and have it all figured out. It was only a matter of time until he can pin you to the wall like now, and have him ruin you when he hates you so much, might as well use that to intensify the obvious sexual tension between the two of you with no romantic feelings involved.

Or…was there?

“I think you want to pursue this for me to fuck you like I hate you, yeah?” He chided, a low chuckle gracing your ear. “Answer.”

“I—“

“What happened to being confident?” You let out a small whine as he palmed your clothed cunt. “If I find you wet, you lose sweetheart.”

He didn’t even let you speak as he slipped his fingers into your underwear, rubbing your clit in circles. You can feel the sudden rush of wetness ooze out of your pussy, soaking the fabric and you couldn’t help but groan, your face heating up.

“Jaehyun… Please…”

You moaned, struggling with the way he has pushed you further down, back arched for him as he continued to play with your pussy, the hard ridge of his cock in his slacks grinding on your ass.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes…” You huffed, any ounce of anger being replaced by pure arousal surging through every part of your body. You don’t even think you could say anything as you attempt to tighten your legs around his hand, not wanting to come right there and then when he hasn’t even plunged a finger or two but he didn’t waste time, cutting you off as he eventually pumped a finger into your pulsating cunt, earning a matching groan of relief from the both of you.

“You’re so fucking wet.” He grinned deviously as you cried onto your arm, muffling the loud moans trying to escape from your throat. “Bet you can come without me fucking my cock into you.”

“F-fuck!” You screamed, eyes clamped shut when he rammed his fingers into you faster, building a steady rhythm until your legs started to shake under your weight, already about to reach your peak when he noticed, cursing at the way you would repeatedly squeeze your walls around his fingers.

“Do you wanna do me a favour?”

He kissed the side of your jaw as you shuddered beneath him, mouth hanging open but no sound threatening to spill out. You thought he has successfully rendered you speechless as your gaze started to blur, teardrops sliding down your rosy cheeks from how good he was giving it to you.

“Sit on my face.”

You almost came on his fingers after he said that if it wasn’t for how fast he slid his fingers out of you to drag you to his bed.

You literally collapsed on his chest as you weakly spread your thighs a part, his strong arms helping you out as he urged you to hover on top of him before he slipped your clothes and underwear off, letting it fall on the carpet.

Once you braced your hands on the headboard, a pinch of hesitation wracking your nerves, you feel him raise his head willingly and push your bare pussy into his waiting mouth, sucking and licking your surging wetness from your pussy, feeling like you’re about to explode.

“Jaehyun— f-fuck, right there…”

You hissed, knuckles turning white on the headboard as he slipped his tongue inside your hole, fucking you with his jaw flexing, hands tight around your waist you were so sure he was going to leave a mark. You fucked his face ruthlessly, him being the most eager one who kept pushing you down and down until he his tongue jutted in and out, licking your slick walls before he lapped onto your clit, ultimately bringing you to the brink of an intense orgasm about to knock you down.

You came in his face in no time, a loud cry leaving your lips as you shuddered violently, wanting to get off his face due to over-sensitivity but he forced you to sit still, his plush mouth tasting the mess you’ve made for him, his free hand cupping his hard cock in his slacks.

You clutched your chest, unable to contain how fast your heartbeats were as you tried to calm down, sliding off him. He unbuttoned his dress shirt, eyes on you, his now moist mouth where your pussy has been, spreading into a contented smile which you lazily returned. You sat there, mouth agape as you watch him unzip his pants, palming his cock right in front of you.

“Come here.”

You crawled to him, his hand reaching out to trace your jaw, thinking he wants you to taste him but he shook his head, his dark brown eyes blown with nothing but carnal desire. He was going to give you the chance to suck him off, but he just couldn’t wait to fuck you, so he urged you to sit, hand positioning the pink head of his cock for you to sink into as you begin to tremble, getting more soaked at the sight of his cock being offered for you to use.

“I want to feel you,” He groaned into your ear as you lifted your ass and brushed your pussy on the head of his cock, letting it rub some off dripping wetness all over your pussy before you carefully sank in, whimpering just halfway in. “Good girl… You can take it.”

Once he was fully in, Jaehyun sunk lower to his pillow, bringing you with him so he could fuck you relentlessly in this position, disabling you from doing anything else but rest on his toned chest and have him fuck you hard as he pleased. You arched your back, one hand fixed to the headboard as Jaehyun thrusted into you, causing you bounce up and down of his cock, his sweet mouth latched on one of your breasts, sucking and biting your nipple ever so lightly.

“H-harder… Fuck, Jaehyun-n!”

You drove your fists to his pillow as you and him shared an intense gaze after he sucked onto your breast and let go. He bit his lip, in complete awestruck with the way you were losing it for him like a good girl. You almost cried yet again from how fierce he was looking into your eyes when he reached out to grab the base of your throat, lightly pressing to the side and choking you as he drove his cock harder and faster, simultaneously hitting your g-spot too to bring you into another mind-blowing orgasm.

“Fucking cum.” He said between gritted teeth as you tilted your head backwards, tears sliding down your face, his cock disappearing in and out of your cunt, the muffled loud noise of lewd squelching between your bodies bouncing off the walls, disrupting the quiet at such ungodly hour. “C’mon pretty girl…Fuck yourself on my cock just like that, yeah? Good, good— fuck you’re so good to me…”

You rode Jaehyun harder, panting as you met his own thrusts, nearing to the edge until you felt something snap in you.

You screamed into your open palm, free hand locked around his wrist choking you when you came for the second time, trembling around his cock, squeezing him until he pulled out, about to ask you where you’d like it when hastily slipped his cock back into your pussy once again, leaving him no choice but force him to spill inside you.

“On pill.”

You chuckled breathlessly, feeling his cum slide out of you and into the base of his cock.

You watch him arch his back with a deep groan, his hands flexing on your waist as you slowly lifted yourself off him only to leave a trail of open-mouthed kiss down his toned abs until you’re just inches away from his cock. You didn’t even let him stop you when you licked the leftover cum from the base of his cock, not wasting any drop which caused him to grab you back up, his thumb wiping some off your lips and slipping it into you mouth for you to swallow.

“You’re fucking nasty. I guess I do like you.”

“Makes the both of us, don’t you think?”

You feel him circle a hand around your waist as you laid there with him, naked, eventually joining him under the covers.

“I agree. What do you think the head maid would say if she knew?”

“That her manifestation worked…? Jaehyun you should know this things. She’s into crystals, for God’s sake.”

“So far, it’s all clear. We’ve enhanced the security everywhere so I think it’s okay. It’s up to Jaehyun though if he’s good with staying at one of the rotational houses within the perimeter. Of course, you’d have to move with him too but you can take one of the personnel with you. We’re gonna have to suspend his public schedules for now until they finish the investigation. “

“Great.” You sighed as you padded down the white-washed hall with Mark, getting sick and tired of the strong antiseptic scent of the hospital. “Watch out for Chenle, too. He looked like he wanted to pluck his IV drip away and fuck out of here.”

“He did want to try it many times, but will do, and hey?”

You spun around as Mark gave you a brown envelope. You tucked it into your purse as he scratched the back of his neck, lips all pursed.

“What.”

“Make sure you don’t have the earbud activated when you’re alone with uh…Jaehyun.”

You blinked, a little confused until you felt your face go in flames, swearing at Mark and then playfully whacking him on the shoulder.

“Whatever!” You rolled your eyes, starting to bolt into a different direction to catch the elevator as Mark broke into a high-pitched laughter, giddily waving you off.

“I won’t tell chief! But I think you gotta buy Jungwoo some condolence wreath!”

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #billionaire!jaehyunforever #kpop smut #killshotbabe #one shot smut #imsorryjungwoo

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nctsworld · 9 months

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LITTLE MOMENTS WITH JAEHYUN, FROZEN IN TIME // HORIZON

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct #nct 127 #nctinc #itsnctsworld #jaehyunedits #nctedits #cee.edits #might make gifs later we'll see #but i loved so many lil shots they had #i wish these moments were longer but also i think it's so beautiful #how one shot can mean so much #a moment truly frozen in time and you don't want it out of your grasp #and you'll try to remember it forever #and it's bittersweet because you know you can't #but you try your hardest #also jaehyun is just so !! sighs

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daydreamingyuta · 6 months

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127 Trick-or-Treating with Their Kids

(I had to use vampire Haechan I’m sorry lol) also dad!127 has my hearttt 🥹

Doyoung & Jungwoo

He is genuinely so excited! He would literally record everything! His kid showing off their outfit, his kid ringing all the doorbells, and he would eventually get a shot of him carrying his kid because they got too tired of walking. also he would absolutely get dressed up, but the costume he picked is a little too scary and he accidentally ends up scaring the other children while walking around. but he just has such a good time trick or treating and making memories with his family 🥹

Taeil, Taeyong, Mark, & Haechan

He would make everyone in the family do a group costume. Like he’s been planning this for months and is so excited. He makes sure to take tons of family pictures before you go out and is SO eager to tell anybody who will listen about the costumes. He just has such a good time and loves Halloween because it makes him feel like a kid again! (also has to skip that one house because it’s a little too scary ‘for his kid’)

Johnny, Yuta & Jaehyun

He would spend half the time wondering how much money and how long it took to put up all the different Halloween decorations the neighbors have. but also genuinely enjoying seeing his kid all dressed up and so excited about receiving so much candy. Definitely takes up a candy tax every few houses just to ‘make sure the candy is good’

#nct #nct 127 #mark lee #haechan #yuta #doyoung #taeil #taeyong #jaehyun #johnny suh #jungwoo #fluff #k-pop #drabble #imagine #nct scenarios #one shot #x reader #x y/n #fanfiction

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3raaaachachacha · 2 years

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Time

Jung Jaehyun x female reader / 548 words / fluff / smut

Warnings: consensual recording, fingering, unprotected sex, cursing

Disclaimer: contains 18+ content; minors do not interact

Day eleven of kinktober - jung jaehyun x mirror sex

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

"Wow," You chuckled, "A full length mirror on the ceiling, and right above the bed, at that. What were they thinking when they built this place?"

"I think I know exactly what they were thinking," Jaehyun smirked, hands placed firmly onto your waist, sliding down to grip your ass to pull you into his lap as he sat on the bed, "And why don't we document this? I think that's what they wanted. Plus we can have something of each other when we're away from one another."

With a shy nod and smile, He pulled his phone out and placed it on the bedside table as he was recording up into the mirror and before you knew it, his lips were on yours. Stray kisses and touches between the two of you led to discarding of each other's clothes, leaving Jaehyun in his boxers and you in your panties and bra.

"Fuck, you're so stunning," He mumbled through kisses against your neck, "How did I get so lucky?”

You responded with a whine once Jaehyun's fingers pushed your panties to the side to toy with your clit, "You're soaked, baby, I've barely even touched you," Jaehyun teased as he thrusted his middle finger into your pulsing core.

"Feels good, doesn’t it? You're so tight that I have to stretch you out before I can give you my cock," Jaehyun groaned with a confident chuckle.

"I can take it now, please, give it to me," You mumbled into his chest.

Jaehyun snickered, pulling your face away to look at you, "You're squeezing around one of my fingers baby," He said, moving his free hand to touch his bulge, "You know better princess, need more prep for your little cunt."

HIs words were only encouragement, once he added a second finger, his thumb toying with your clit, you were close to your high, but that was soon gone once he abruptly stopped with a frown.

"Need you coming on my cock first, sweetheart," Jaehyun mumbled, lifting your hips to line you up with his cock before sinking you down, "Fuck! You're so fucking tight, god. Move your hips for me. Yeah, nice and easy."

"I’m not gonna last long, Jae," You whined loudly, tears already forming in your eyes, his thrusts going so deep and the new pressure of his hand on your throat had you seeing stars, "You're so fucking big. Fuck, I'm so close."

His thrusts increased and the sound of your skin slapping against one another had you both moaning profanities, "Be a good girl and cum, cum all over my cock. Come on baby."

With his words, they were enough to push you over the edge, your body shaking pathetically as you weakly held on to him. He had control of your hips, thrusting into them a little longer before he was painting your walls with his load. The two of you held onto each other for a few minutes before he laid back onto the bed, pulling you with him.

"I love you," You whispered into his ear, "It’s hard to even explain how much.”

Jaehyun smiled at you lovingly, stretching his arm out to stop the recording and hold you close, "We'll watch that later but for now, We gotta go for round two and then shower."

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

- Admin 🌶️

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gimmehyuck · 2 years

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reckless heroism | l.dh

summary. you've kept your secret for all of six months, mostly to keep your friends - him - safe. when he finds out, it puts your skills of truly wanting to keep him safe to the test.

or in other words, he's your mary jane. the damsel in distress. and he may or may not be happy about it.

pairing. protective med student!hyuck x spiderwoman!yn, feat. nomin

words. roughly 10.3k~ish

genre. friends to lovers, angst, general fluff, serious mutual pining, seriously, they know they like each other and so does everyone else, some action? idk i wrote this after obsessing over the latest spiderman movie it just took me a century to post it, technically two kiss scenes.

warnings. a bi jaehyun is a Very Bad Guy™, like a bit unhinged and does not nice things. you have been warned. also mentions of blood, injuries, guns, things blow up etc. it's an action based au, whatever else comes from that. also i know nothing about med school, sorry.

p.s. i use an -almost- direct line from tom holland's spiderman... see if you can spot it... hehe

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

donghyuck wasn’t sure how he ended up in this position.

categorizing his injuries quickly like his training taught is what helped him stay grounded. his ribs felt as if they had taken a severe beating, and his head was throbbing.

probably a concussion.

his eyes burned from the blood that leaked down his face into them from a gash he got earlier, facial wounds always bled worse he reminded himself. he was nauseous but he assumed that was from the overwhelming smell of smoke from the explosion that destroyed half the building.

he brought his hand up to cradle his head, his ears were ringing so loudly. and they just kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and…

“hyuck, please! focus!” he finally heard the yelling over the sound of sirens going off in his head.

he blinked once, twice, trying to get his eyes to lock in and focus; he searched around to try and find the sound of the voice that had yelled for him.

his blurry vision tried to clear but it went in and out in intervals. with the moments spent in focus, he saw you, standing over him, shouldering a very heavy looking slab of concrete, arms shaking from the weight.

“hey, hyuck, are you with me now?” you groaned, face screwing in exertion.

he noticed your suit was torn in places, your mask long since forgotten, dust and debris littered your face and hair. you were bleeding from cuts on your face and even though he could see you physically shaking from trying to hold up the weight, he saw you sigh in annoyance at him.

“hyuck!” you yelled this time, frustration lining your voice.

“yeah,” he croaked out, his voice coming out gravelly.

“yeah, i’m here now.” he squinted up at you, watching as your frustration ebbed away and you smiled.

even in all this, you still smiled at him. and that’s when everything came back in a flood, and he realized…

maybe this was his fault after all.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

donghyuck was playing his game loudly on his PC, rapidly clicking his mouse and yelling through his headset.

“jaemin, no, no, dammit! now i’m dead because you – jeno, don’t yell at me for yelling at your boyfriend, i just died!” donghyuck whined dramatically into the mic, and he jumped a little when he heard his door open and click shut.

“hyuck,” he heard your familiar voice calling softly from across the room. since he was dead anyways, he swiveled around in his chair, a smile already working its way on his face, but the moment he saw you, he froze.

his brain took a moment to process what he saw and even then, it still didn’t make any sense. his mouth opened and shut rapidly, trying to form any semblance of a thought, any attempt of words but eventually he landed on just your name.

“y/n is there? turn on your camera so we can say hey!” he heard jisung say through the headset. you seemed to have heard jisung and you rapidly shook your head no, putting a gloved finger to your lips. you made a motion pointing at his headset and made a slicing motion across your throat. when he didn’t move a muscle, you repeated the motion more frantically, eyes almost seeming to panic. putting your hands together in a plea, then repeating the charades of telling him to turn off the game.

finally he acted, clearing his throat before saying, “no, y/n isn’t here but she is calling. i’ll get back on later, bye guys.” and he was met with a chorus of “ooooh the girlfriend is calling” and what donghyuck thought was very childish kissing sounds coming from chenle and jisung, but regardless of how childish it was, it still caused a blush to creep up his neck and make its way into his cheeks.

clicking the headset off and dropping it around his neck, he and his red cheeks focused back on you. standing across the room, you were dressed in a red and black skintight suit, with a giant spider across the chest.

“you’re cosplaying now?” he asked with an eyebrow raised, his voice taking on a sarcastic tone. “you never showed any interest at all in spider-woman when we’ve all discussed her, and where did you get that costume? it looks nicely made, you nearly failed homec in high school so…”

he watched as you took a deep breath before opening your mouth to say the unbelievable., “it’s not a cosplay. it’s not a costume. it is my suit. it was technically a gift but… i am spider-woman.” you raised a finger for each point you made, your face and tone showing extreme seriousness that he would have found almost comical if he hadn’t begun to notice your face had become a little paler than when he had first seen you enter. narrowing his eyes slightly, his brain trying to figure out what was going on, he went on to huff a laugh. “you’re so full of shit.”

“look,” you ran your hand through your hair and sighed, donghyuck noticing you had started to sway a little, but you began to emphasize your points by talking with your hands again as you spoke. “i know this is a lot to take in suddenly, and i’m gonna go ahead and apologize to you for lying to you these past six months, i didn’t know how to properly tell you that ‘hey i was bitten by a radioactive spider and now i can do things i can’t explain’ because i knew you’d act like this, but i don’t have anywhere to go right now and i really… really need your help.”

and that’s when you swayed so hard, you staggered against the standing dresser sliding down its front, shaking it so hard that his textbooks fell off.

donghyuck flew across the room to kneel by your side, noticing your breathing was a little labored. you laughed a little at how quickly his demeanor changed from sarcastic to serious.

“okay, okay. you’re spider-woman and you’re forgiven for lying, what happened?” he said, going into what you called his No Nonsense Mode. he ran to his desk to grab his med kit and rushed back to your side.

“i was shot and the bullet is lodged in my arm, and i can’t remove it myself, i’ve tried and i can’t heal unless it’s out. i need you to pull it out.” it was matter-of-fact the way you spoke about what had happened to you. donghyuck placed his stethoscope on your chest and listened for any irregularities, not missing the way his heart lurched when you mentioned you were shot with nonchalance. once he couldn’t find any irregularities though, he got out scissors and began cutting the fabric away from the wound on your arm, that he wasn’t sure how he didn’t notice it earlier, but, he told himself (in his defense) the majority of the suit was black, it didn’t really stand out.

“you really should have gone to the emergency room to have an actual doctor do this.” he scolded softly, taking gauze and wiping away the excess blood from the site.

you snorted. “what? just, swing into the ER and go, ‘i can’t take off my mask for you but i need you to treat my gunshot wound’? yeah, that’ll go smoothly. besides, you’re a doctor.” you murmured as you watched him rummage in his kit for whatever tool he needed.

“i’m training to be a doctor, i’m not a doctor, yet. there’s a literal board certified difference.” he corrected, cutting his eyes at you. you lifted your other hand in surrender.

“it’s all the same to me.” you replied.

“how have you not needed me before now?” he asked before taking off a cap of a bottle and looking directly into your eyes as he said, “this is going to sting a little.”

“i heal quickly, broken ribs are nothing but – ah, shit!” crying out sharply in pain, eyes bulging at the liquid that burned worse than you thought it would.

“you said sting, you liar!” and he smirked at you, your heart leaping a little at the look. “that’s for lying to me.”

“yeah, sure. a huge identity secret that could get all my friends and family killed that i kept secret to protect you means you can hurt me with alcohol. sure, sure.” you rolled your eyes as he shrugged.

“it’s all the same to me,” he quoted you, but then frowned a little. “i’m going to dig it out now. and this will actually hurt, do you need me to grab something for you to bite down on, or… or squeeze?” he asked, his laser-focused attention shifting from your face to the hole in your arm.

you shook your head and gripped your thigh tightly. he nodded and began to find the object that was keeping you from healing yourself. you could feel the bruises start to come up on your knee as your arm shook from the pressure you applied to try and take your mind off of the pain your best friend was inflicting on you.

you watched his face as a distraction and distantly thought it was cute that he stuck his tongue out between his lips in concentration. after agonizing minutes, he finally let out an excited, “got it!”

he showed you the offending metal excitedly between the long medical tweezers and you let out a heavy sigh of relief, and you could feel your body jump into overdrive to try and heal the area.

“i think i’m going to pass out, and if i do… just leave me here. i’ll wake up in thirty minutes, tops.” you mumbled a little too softly before doing exactly what you said you would do, and slumped over onto donghyuck’s lap. considering you warned him beforehand, he only let himself panic for all of thirty seconds before he grabbed a pillow from his couch and gently moved your head from his lap to the pillow.

he rummaged around in his kit for more gauze and started to clean the area of the blood that had gushed out during the process of him removing the bullet, as he did so his hands froze midair. he could only watch in awe as he saw your skin start to heal itself, the tissues and skin closing up from the inside out. and sure enough, within thirty minutes, it was as if you had never been injured, and five minutes after that, you stirred awake. you blinked a few times up at him, and he continued to stare down at you as if he were mapping out the details of your face.

“you lied.” he said, and you groaned, throwing an arm over your eyes.

“i told you i was sorry!” you immediately went on the defensive.

“it took you thirty-five minutes, you said thirty tops.” he raised one eyebrow, giving you his signature irritating smirk that always gave you butterflies.

you thought for a moment, “hmm, must have lost more blood than i realized.”

you both stared at each other for a few awkward seconds before you let out, “so you’re…. not… mad at me? i wanted to tell you the moment i found out, i swear. but every chance i got i – ” and your voice came out smaller and smaller with each word, more than you had hoped it would. you weren’t sure why, but you knew that if he was angry it would hurt you more than you had realized it would.

“hey, chill. how could i be mad?” he sounded confused, looking away to put something in his kit. “no, i couldn’t be mad at you. i can rationalize why you did it. it makes sense why you didn’t tell me. but no more secrets from here on.” he cut his eyes over at you sternly.

“promise, no more secrets.” you agreed with a nod.

“but… now that i know…” he said, stern look morphing into a more mischievous one and the smile he wore made you shift. “i have so many questions.” the intense staring contest came to an end when you smiled back.

“alright, shoot.” you offered and sat up. when you noticed he gave you an instant unamused look, you amended sarcastically. “oh, too soon? sorry. you may proceed, your majesty.”

and oh, he did.

two hours of nothing but rapid fire questions, answering everything from:

“what are your powers?”

“the powers of a spider, hyuck.”

“yes, i can tell, but what exactly can you do?”

to:

“have you really robbed banks like that tabloid said?”

“do i look like i’m suddenly millions of dollars richer to you?”

after the intense game of twenty thousand questions, he seemed satisfied with all of his answers he received until he came down to the last one.

“what were you doing when you were shot?” he asked, deep concern written all over his face. you had scared him, you realized. he was just now processing everything that had happened, the excitement was falling away so he had to deal with what had happened and you had frightened him more than you thought you would.

“there’s a mob boss, he’s trafficking in a new kind of drug that is killing so. many. people. i think he may have manufactured it to kill but i’m not sure on that part. i was getting close to the warehouse, and he knew it. i ran into an ambush, but not before i destroyed a case of the drugs. they seem to be highly flammable somehow but anyway, there’s still so much more though, hyuck. i just acted first this time before coming up with a plan.” you became more and more enthused as you spoke but when donghyuck didn’t respond, you looked up to find him picking at his fingernails. he did this when he had something to say but wasn’t sure if he wanted to say it, you noticed in elementary school and it was his biggest tell when he had secrets. which meant he never really had secrets from you.

“hyuck, what is it?” you leaned over and touched his fiddling fingers, stilling them. he waited a few more moments before looking up and making eye contact.

“you’ve been doing all of this for six months… alone. and it’s… it’s dangerous. you’re… why are you choosing to be reckless?” his voice came out accusatory but small, almost a little unsure of himself. and it made you pause, because it was so unlike him. your hyuck, the extremely smart med student. almost overly, frustratingly self-confident, was always self-assured, but the last half hit an uncomfortable spot in your chest. a spot that signaled an argument. your eyebrows drew together and you tilted your head to the side.

“it’s dangerous, yeah, but it’s nothing i can’t handle. i’ve been handling it. and i’m not being reckless. i can’t just not use this to help people. it happened to me for a reason.”

“yeah but,” he hesitated again. he didn’t want this to come out the way he was worried it was going to. “you could get hurt, you have been hurt! what if you didn’t make it here in time? this screams recklessness to me.”

“it… it doesn’t matter if i get hurt, and i did make it here in time… look, when you can do the things i can, and you’re given a chance to help but you don’t, and then the bad things happen… they happen because of you.” you argued simply, your voice taking on a tone of pleading to match your eyes.

“it doesn't matt- it matters to me!" hearing you say your life wasn’t as important to you as others nearly gave him a heart attack. he was almost rendered speechless at those words. keyword: almost, "you could be killed! what part of that don’t you get? everything you just said isn’t heroism, y/n. that’s just self-imposed guilt.” he yelled, the sudden rise in his voice startling the both of you.

“no, it isn’t. it’s taking responsibility!” you responded, teeth clenched.

“respons-,” he cut himself off, completely incredulous. he all but rolled his eyes at you, “why do you feel responsible for people you’ve never met?! you could be killed, killed y/n. what part of that don’t you get?”

“yeah, hyuck, i could. believe me, i get it. but so could you, at any given time. people are dying, and if i can help them, then i will.” you didn’t raise your voice, but the bitterness that seeped through your still clenched teeth wasn’t easily controlled.

“people are dying because they’re choosing to take illegal drugs.”

“and you think that just because they chose to get high, off of something they were lied to about, that they should be murdered?” you were incredulous this time at the notion, eyebrows nearly in your hair.

“that’s not what i’m saying!” he threw his hands up, and you stood up abruptly.

“really?” you flung your hands out, exasperated beyond belief. “because it sure as hell sounds like it. it’s not just addicts taking this drug. it’s college kids experimenting. it – it could be our friends next! just trying a normal college experience!” and he scoffed at the defensive stance you took, arms crossing over your chest. he rolled his eyes and that just pissed you off even more. you weren’t sure why he was taking this stance, and it felt like he was against you. this was the argument that your body had warned you of.

“it could be jeno, or jaemin, or… or even mark next. at the next party, they may just try something, or, or get something slipped to them, and then what?” your tone was serious. you meant what you said.

“mark doesn’t do parties-.” he started sarcastically but you cut him off with a scoff.

“that isn’t the fucking point! you’re becoming a doctor to save people, i was given these abilities to do the same. why does it feel like i’m the only one willing to try? why does it feel like you’re… you’re judging me for it?”

“how could you say that? i’ll take an oath to do no harm in a few years, it will be my job to save people’s lives. responsibly. not doing it illegally, like a vigilante. not getting myself injured in the process, not getting myself killed.” he spat out the last sentence with such vehemence that you had no retaliation for it, mouth dropping in a silent gasp.

you just stared at him before shaking your head slightly. you walked across the room and snatched your discarded mask off the floor.

“thank you for helping me.” was all you said and he could only watch as you threw open the door and climbed out of the window in the hall you had originally crawled through. he could only partially see as you slung away. he took a moment to replay the argument through his head and he smacked himself hard in the forehead. he was stupid. he started the argument because he was worried and his smart mouth did what it always did, got him into trouble.

why was saying, ‘i’m worried for you, please be careful next time’ so hard for him?

he crossed the room and closed the door, banging his head softly against the door and mumbling,

“stupid, stupid, stupid.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

he hadn’t spoken to you in three days, not that he hadn’t tried. numerous texts and voicemails apologizing profusely for what he had said, but he received nothing in return. he had even let slip during gaming with his friends that he had upset you and you were refusing to talk to him.

they all immediately sided with you without even knowing what the argument was about, with jaemin throwing in a ‘you probably opened your stupid mouth and said the opposite of what you wanted to’, and donghyuck couldn’t even argue with that. they knew him well.

but with what was going on, he was, unfortunately, a little distracted doing his clinical hours at the hospital overnight. it was his turn in the ICU, the department he wanted to be in once he graduated. he just couldn’t get the image of your face out of his head when you left, and it made it hard for him to focus.

he had really hurt you, and after having the time to think about it, he understood where you were coming from. you wanted to make a difference, you had always been that way even as a kid, and how could he expect anything less? he was becoming a doctor to do the same thing. what made him any better? he knew if it were him in your shoes, he’d have done the same. he already knew the reason that made him react so negatively.

because it was you.

“lee!” the attending doctor yelled at him, snapping him out of his musings. his head snapped up instantly and he rushed over to his side, he wasn’t technically allowed to help yet but he was to shadow and learn what he could from observation. an ambulance had wheeled in a drug overdose victim, and the nurses were running around.

he finally got a good look at the patient and that’s when he stilled. the guy was in his coding class that he took as an elective, yangyang. he knew he was a good guy, a little on the strange side but he and his friends were the same. donghyuck noticed another guy he knew from around campus was hovering near the curtains edge.

xiaojun was biting his fingernails in worry and donghyuck could tell he had been crying. his attending doctor had called for narcan and so donghyuck made his way over to xiaojun. he looked up from yangyang, eyes lighting up for a second as he recognized donghyuck and he started fumbling over his words instantly.

“we-we were in the club, we hardly drank anything but a maybe a couple of beers and then all of a sudden he just… just f-fell out on the floor. they were saying it was a drug overdose but – but he doesn’t do drugs. he’d never touch them. he – he, wouldn’t. he didn’t do this.” donghyuck was about to offer words, when the doctor yelled at him to get xiaojun out of the way.

yangyang had started seizing, and he knew that xiaojun didn’t need to see it. placing a gentle hand on xiaojun’s shoulder, donghyuck escorted him away and the nurses closed the curtains. seeing this up close proved that he needed to find you. if he didn’t understand you before, he fully understood now.

his shift had ended, yangyang had been barely stable and instead of going home to sleep for his classes in the morning, he went the opposite way to go to your apartment. it was late, but he was hoping you’d be awake.

if not, he’d just wake you up and deal with it when you hit him for it. when he realized the elevator was down he sighed, assuming this was his karmic punishment, he made his way up the five flights of stairs and down the hall to your room.

standing in front of 606 he raised his hand to knock but the door opened before his hand met the wood. he figured it was the senses you had told him about that let you know he was there.

you stood in the doorway, face completely impassive. he coughed once, and scratched the back of his neck.

“i’ve been texting you, and calling…” he trailed off watching for your reaction.

“i know.” your response was cold.

“i’m really sorry,” he started again.

“i know. even jeno has told me. is that all?” and his shoulders drooped a little. when he didn’t respond for a moment, you started to close the door and he put his hand up to stop it, saying all he had to say in one quick breath.

“you were right. i was worried, and i just saw you bleeding and you acted like it was no big deal even though you had been shot and i couldn’t understand it and i’m sorry, really sorry, i reacted that way, but you were right… i… i saw what you were talking about today at the hospital. i saw it, and you were right.” your stony demeanor fell away, because you knew you couldn’t really stay mad at him, and worry seeped in.

you moved out of the way of the entrance to your room and he stepped inside and made his way to sit on your couch. he heard you close the door and shuffle across the room behind him. his elbows rested on his knees as he stared at the coffee table, and you sat on your knees in front of his field of vision.

“are you okay?” you asked, taking his hands in yours.

“it was a guy in my class, you know yangyang?” you nodded in answer and he breathed in shakily. “we… we got him stable for now but he, he wasn’t actively doing drugs. his friend said he never touched any, he was probably slipped something and – you were right. it could have been any of us.”

“it’s scary to watch happen, especially when it’s already too late to help, i know. i’m sorry you had to see it, but this lets me know that they’re getting bolder. a club? right. they’re going to make a mistake soon, i’ll be able to stop it then. you won’t have to see it again, if i can do anything about it.” your voice was honest, and earnest. donghyuck knew you meant it completely, but it made him wonder if you had already seen it be too late after trying to help, and how you were dealing with that trauma or if you were ignoring it.

taking a breath, he finally took a look around the room and you had your computer open and papers strewn around the desk like you were planning something. he got up and walked over to the papers, and he found they were annotated blueprints.

“it’s their main warehouse, i finally found it. i’m coming up with a plan this time. to save me from another hyuck scolding.” he heard you over his left shoulder. he turned quickly and his face came within inches of yours, but neither of you went to move away. his face heated at the close proximity, and you smiled knowingly at the reaction.

“i can hear your heart racing, what’s making you nervous? the plans…” you said looking down at the papers then back up, “or me?” you smirked at the way his eyes widened at the question.

maybe jeno was right after all, maybe you both were aware of how you felt about each other.

he hesitated before answering with an honest, “both, i think.”

“good,” was all you said with a grin.

“i want to help you,” he said looking down at you, searching your eyes for the part that he knew would cave.

“did you suddenly get bit by a radioactive spider too and gain superhuman abilities?” you snarked, taking his usual stance in the conversation.

“no, but i can be your person in the background helping you out. your guy in the chair, you know?” you hesitated at that.

“why not just my doctor in the hospital? i don’t want you to get hurt,” you replied, breaking eye contact to toy with the sleeve of his jacket.

“and you can?”

“i heal quickly,” you retorted. “you don’t.”

“i won’t get hurt, i’ll be sitting behind a computer helping you out with whatever you need. i’m pretty good at hacking things when i want to, if the almost choosing cybersecurity as my minor could remind you.” he wiggled his eyebrows at that and you laughed. you shoved his shoulder, and offered a hum to agree.

“fine, since i know you won’t back down. but don’t you dare think that i’ll take you anywhere near the big guys with the scary guns. i’ve been working on making my suit a little more bulletproof, so what happened last time won’t happen again as easily.” you said gesturing to the table where your sewing machine sat with other materials he couldn’t quite make out. before he could ask another question, he yawned wide, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth.

“do you want to stay here?” you offered to him, and he shook his head.

“i have a class at nine, i should head home.” and at his response you smiled a smile that seemed almost evil and he leaned away, eyebrows knitting together.

“why did you make that face? i don’t like it. stop it.” he joked, laughing a little at how uncomfortable he felt with the mischievousness of the smile.

“oh come on, you love my face.” you responded, expression not changing at all.

“yes but…”

“let me take you home.” you said, gripping the arm of his jacket and he finally connected the dots and he actually stepped back half a step at that as if it had offended him.

“oh, hell no!” he rejected the idea instantly, just the idea of heights making his stomach churn. you started to peel off your t-shirt you were wearing and he covered his eyes to avoid seeing something he shouldn’t, but you just scoffed at him. you tugged his hands away from his eyes and he saw you in your suit.

“i don’t know if i’m going to get used to that,” he whispered. he watched as you walked to the window and opened it, waving him over.

“you will, eventually.” you called. he stepped to the window, you were already on the other side standing on the fire escape. he hesitated, his fear keeping him from wanting to step onto the rickety metal. you reached your hand out to him.

“don’t you trust me?” you asked innocently, looking up at him through your lashes and his heart jumped a little at the question and the sight of you.

“yes,” he breathed before taking your hand and climbing out onto the landing that was a little too small for the both of you. he was chest to chest with you, and he couldn’t get his heart to calm down with how close you were to him. the air was cold and your breaths came out in little clouds and mixed together before dissipating.

he didn’t miss the way your eyes flicked to his lips before you shook your head slightly, he desperatly wish he could know what you were thinking but you only leaned over to grab your mask from the desk that was next to the window. you closed it firmly and turned away, and donghyuck let his body relax a little at the bit of space you created between the two of you.

“i need you to hold on to my neck, if you get scared then wrap your legs around me.” and he paled at the idea.

“i think i’m a little too –.” you cut your eyes at him, and he corrected himself. “right, sorry. super strength. got it.” you pulled the mask over your face while tugging up the black hood over your head, leapt up on the railing in a crouch before standing, perfectly balanced and turned to him.

“come on, then.” he awkwardly stepped closer and reached out, you tugged him up on the railing with ease and he wobbled. he wrapped his arms around your neck to stabilize himself and he laughed a little wildly.

“this feels a little backwards, usually it’s the man that holds the damsel close.” he joked, avoiding looking down at the ground that was a far drop.

“yes, well, i’ll make sure to tell the next spider to bite a man to save you the indecency.” he didn’t have to see it to know you were rolling your eyes. and before he could say that wasn’t exactly what he meant, you reached out your hand, wrapping your arm around his waist and suddenly you both were falling and his stomach had dropped to the ground without him.

he couldn’t even scream out in fear, his breath caught instantly in his throat. but his eyes were taking in everything around him, the city lights at night from this height were breathtaking. the adrenaline mixing with the awe made him speechless, and he slowly felt safe with you, his body getting into the gentle rhythm of the rise and fall as you swung in between the buildings.

“this is beautiful,” he said, barely above a whisper, and you turned your masked face slightly towards him.

“it is, isn’t it?” you replied, and he could hear the smile. a few minutes of peaceful silence later and you used a lamp post to swing and land. arriving in front of his apartment building safely and in one piece. donghyuck breathed a sigh of relief to be on the ground but ultimately couldn’t stop the beautiful smile that was stretching across his face.

“that was exhilarating!” he whisper-yelled. you stepped forward and brushed his hair down to control it from where the wind and swept it all over the place.

“it’s a rush for sure,” you replied and he laughed.

“so you’re a bit of an adrenaline junkie now, huh? i would be.” he said, staring at your mask, wishing he could see your face.

“you could say that,” you let out a laugh at the look on his face. when neither of you moved, you coughed and it sounded nervous to him. he gently reached up to try and tug your mask up with both hands, but you placed your hands gently on his and halted him. he wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, all he knew was that he wanted to see your face.

“you should go in and get some rest, i’ll text you in the morning, okay?” your voice was so soft, and his heart ached. eventually he nodded. “goodnight,” he said and you hummed. you leaned up and pecked him on the cheek through the mask, smiling under it as his heart kicked off within seconds.

“goodnight, hyuck.” and then he watched as you shot a web up to the same lamp post and crouched precariously on it. you sent him a small wave and you shot off into the night, he watched you go until you were out of sight and he stepped towards the apartment building entrance.

he got out his phone and sent you a quick text before making his way to the steps of his building. he fumbled with his keys to the main door when he heard shuffling behind him. he turned towards the sound of the noise, but didn’t get a chance to see before he was sucker punched in the face and the last thing he heard was deep, mocking laughter.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you were sound asleep, and then you weren’t. a loud banging at your door had you jumping from your bed as if you had been struck by lightening. you checked your phone to see the time, and as you noticed it was half past noon.

you also noticed you had fifteen missed calls and twenty-three text messages, all from your friend group. majority coming from jaemin and jeno, and two texts from hyuck. the knocking persisted and you groaned to your feet. feeling that the knocker wasn’t dangerous, you flung open the door to find a disheveled jeno. he was slightly out of breath and you could only assume he ran the entire way here.

“what’s going on, jen?” you asked, voice still groggy from being woken up so abruptly. you rubbed at your eyes, still trying to wake up.

“donghyuck’s gone,” was all he said and you felt icy fear trickle down your back, your face draining of color.

“what do you mean? he’s probably at class, or the hospital.” trying to be rational, and jeno was already shaking his head.

“no, jaem said he didn’t show up to class and i went to check his apartment and i don’t think he ever made it up to his place because i found his keys near the stairs. and – and there was blood.” at that you were sure your heart stopped. you numbly walked from the door to sit on your couch, staring at the wall. jeno followed you in after closing the door behind him and stood in front on you.

“y/n.” you didn’t respond.

“y/n.” he said and he kneeled in front of you, the same way you had done the night before with hyuck. you didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even blink.

“y/n!” he said, voice a little louder and more serious, and his hands shook you gently. the tone and movement breaking you from the trance you had been put in at the news. you finally focused on his face, and he sighed.

“there you are. i can’t have you spacing out now on me.” you could only nod as an answer.

“i need you to find him, i know you can.”

“what? i don’t –.” and he cut you off with a stern look.

“get yourself together, go put your suit on, and find whoever took him.” and your eyes widened at his statement, your mouth dropping. before you could even deny it, he sighed dramatically.

“i already know. and so does jaemin. we both figured it out after the first month when you didn’t need your glasses anymore, and that one time in the courtyard when you caught that frisbee heading toward your head that you didn’t even see.”

you were speechless so you only answered with a, “ahhh…”

“and your suit is right there on the table.” he smiled at his little joke. “but don’t worry. your secret is safe with us.”

you looked over your shoulder, of course you’d left it out after finishing up adding the enhancements you were working on late last night after dropping hyuck off. you were regaining your thoughts again, and you got up and walked over to the papers that were strewn across your desk, leaning against your desk as you stared at them. jeno stayed put near the couch.

“do you know who took him?” he called over and you nodded, knowing there was only one group powerful enough to do this that you had severely pissed off.

“yeah, i think so. i told hyuck i was coming up with a plan, but i don’t have time to really get the plan together now. they’re not the type of people to really keep… hostages.” you let out a heavy sigh and dropped your head. you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder, and you brought your hands up to rub your face. suddenly a thought registered and you froze. you ran to your phone, and picked it up. opening your messaging app, you skipped the frantic texts from your friends and landed on the messages from hyuck.

clicking on the notifications, you slapped a hand over your mouth. the first one read,

3:37am thank you for dropping me off, talk to you in the morning :)

and the next message was a picture of hyuck, head drooped to rest on his chest, and you could see blood trailing down the side of his face. he was tied to something you couldn’t quite make out. attached to the picture were the words,

come alone.

you knew he was in danger. you were painfully aware. but to see it so clearly made your breath quicken and you felt a sob escape your throat. jeno picked up the discarded phone and swore sharply.

hyuck was in danger.

hyuck was in – your senses were in overdrive and you tried to get a grip on it. if you couldn’t get this under control, how would you be able to save anyone? one important person to you in trouble and you became useless? no that wasn’t going to work. it was just that you yelled at him about what if your friends were next, you told yourself, you just hadn’t registered the same would apply to you just yet. to him.

the thought of hyuck being in danger had your resolve steeling itself. you felt anger begin to course through you in place of the fear and you stalked over to the table and you yanked your clothes off, not caring that jeno was in the room. you shoved the suit on angrily, and turned to jeno. your mouth was set in a straight line. he could only stare wide-eyed and mouth dropped at you in your suit, first time really seeing that it was you in it.

“you’ll get used to it,” you said, fierce determination set on your face as you put your hands on your hips. “don't tell hyuck he'll be so jealous but... i think i’m going to need yours and jaemin’s help.” jeno only nodded as you threw on your clothes over your suit, grabbed the papers and you both stormed out of the room.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

walking into jeno’s apartment he shared with jaemin, you followed quickly and located jaemin studying at the kitchen table, medical books scattered across the table.

“jaemin?” he called to him.

“hmm?” was his answer.

“jaem!” he said, more urgent this time. jaemin looked up and when he noticed you were with him, he shot up and rounded the table.

“did you find him? do you know where he is?” jaemin said, nothing but worry on his face.

“i know where he is i think, but i will need your help. i just found the blueprints last night to the place and i haven’t had time to memorize the layout, that’s where i need you two to help me. jen says you already know everything already, so…” and she unzipped her jacket to show her suit underneath to jaemin.

“that’s still so cool to see,” jeno whispered, eyeing the colors and the giant spider. jaemin narrowed his eyes at jeno.

“focus,” he hissed. jeno raised his hands in surrender.

“what? you can’t say it’s not.” jaemin rolled his eyes at him and turned his attention back to you.

“whatever you need us to do, anything… just tell us.” you moved some of his books to the side, putting a piece of paper to hold the spot in the ones that were open, and laid out the blueprints to the building. jaemin and jeno hovered behind you, each of them taking a shoulder to look over and you explained the half-assed plan you put together on the walk over.

“there are only two entrances to the building, but since it’s two stories, and i don’t necessarily need doors, i’ll enter here on this window, it’s the dark side of the alley, hardly anyone will be there, i hope at least, and make my way through the building. i find hyuck, get him out, and if the building blows up with the drugs inside… then it’s a win-win for us.”

“you’re going to blow up a building?!” they exclaimed at the same time, both turning to look at you.

“this is a kingpins warehouse,” you said to jeno before turning to jaemin, looking between the both of them as you spoke. “he’s manufacturing drugs that are killing people. blow up the supply, and stop the deaths. maybe i can trap him in there until the cops come and it saves more lives than hurts.” jeno nodded as he understood but jaemin was pensive.

“it feels a little too dangerous, something could go wrong.” he said.

“of course something could go wrong, but hyuck is in danger!” you argued instantly, before deflating. “this… this is the only plan i’ve got.”

“maybe we can… take some more time. think about this. come up with a better plan.”

“we don’t have time!” you fumed, shoving your hand in your jacket pocket to grab your phone. you pulled up the picture you had been sent and all but shoved it in jaemin’s face. “he’s hurt! he could be killed if i don’t… i have to save him. i have to save him, before he… before he dies. because of me.” the fear was coming back, doubled up with extreme guilt and you tried to clamp down on it before it bubbled over. you felt two steady hands rest on your shoulders.

“we get it. we’re with you, not against you. we’ll help you.” it was jeno, and you nodded, looking up at the ceiling for a moment to get a rein on the tears that threatened to spill. you rummaged in your pockets again and pulled out another phone.

“my suit,” your voice cracked a little and you cleared your throat. “my suit is connected to this phone, you both can stay here and help walk me through the building. or call 911 if anything goes wrong. i worked on this last night for hyuck, when he offered to do what you’re doing for me now. and look,” you turned on the phone.

“when i do this,” you pressed on the side of your mask above your ear and the screen reflected black. “you can see what i can see.” you pulled out your mask and turned it to look at all three of you. your faces showing up on the small screen of the phone, various stages of stress.

“you made this yourself?” jeno asked, grabbing the phone and inspecting it.

“pretty much, yeah.”

“you’re really smart.” and jeno saw the unamused look you gave him through the screen.

“well i didn’t get into this school on my dashing good looks, did i?” and you let out a laugh. jaemin let out a sigh of relief and you looked over your shoulder at him.

“you’re back, i was worried you wouldn’t be able to crack jokes like you usually do, didn’t want you to go in tense to save him.” and you smiled at them both. it wasn’t a full smile, it didn’t reach your eyes, but the effort was there.

“i’m back. and i’m not going to let him die.” you pulled your mask over your head and snuggly put it in to place and tugging up the hood to follow.

“let’s do this.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you waited until night fell, crouched down on the building across the street from the warehouse. the temperature kept dropping and even though you couldn’t feel it through the suit, you were worried about hyuck.

“he’s going to be okay,” you heard jaemin say through the mask.

“how did you know?” you asked, surveying as a few of the lackeys got into the car from the alley you were about to enter through and speed away.

“it’s what i’d do if i were you.” was his answer. you shot a web across the street and slung your way over to rest on the side of the building above the window. you tugged it open easily. with a deep breath, you told them you were going in and slunk through the window, gently closing it shut behind you.

you made your way through the building, turning down hallways the two told you to, opening and closing various doors along the way. all of them turning up empty. you eased your way up to the ceiling and made it down to the first floor where you heard idle chatter.

“i don’t think she’s coming. she’s going to leave you here to die, my friend.” and that was him. the head of all of this and he had hyuck’s head lifted up by his hair, forcing him to look him in the eye. hyuck surprised you by smiling, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth and it had stained his teeth.

“i hope she doesn’t come, just so she doesn’t give you what you want. just to piss you off.”

“but i want to see the desperation and anguish when i kill you, i live for it,” you couldn’t see his face but the way he said the words made your lips turn up in disgust.

you heard jeno come through on the mask, “i can’t wait to watch you kick his ass.”

“yes, well,” the kingpin continued. you still couldn’t see his face as he moved around hyuck, but he wore an expensive suit decorated with gold details. “i have what she wants. do you really think she’d let you die so easily?” and hyuck spit his blood out on his expensive shoes. the kingpin threw hyuck’s head back and it cracked loudly against the concrete wall he was tied to.

“you’re awfully pretty, you know. i could use you. maybe sell you out a few times. break that spirit of yours, make some money off of you before i killed you, or… maybe keep you for myself.” the kingpin mused out loud in a way that could have sounded like he was reading off stocks instead of hyucks fate, all while toying with a strand of hyucks curls gently. finding no better time than now, you released your grip on the ceiling.

“i’d be willing to buy him off you,” you said sarcastically, dropping down to the ground in a crouch. your sudden appearance made all of his guards pull their guns and aim them at you. “for a heavily discounted price, of course. that one has sass for days.”

you didn’t miss the annoyed glare hyuck shot at you from where he was sitting.

“y/n, be careful.” you heard jaemin warn in your ear.

the kingpin turned fully to face you for the first time and he smiled at your sudden entrance, and the sight of him made you pause.

he was breathtakingly handsome, and surprisingly young. the smile creating dimples in his cheeks and his hair was perfectly styled. he screamed ceo, a business man in disguise.

“kill her,” was his order before everything went by in a flurry. knocking the gun out of the first guards hand that rushed you, you punched him hard in the face, knocking him unconscious instantly.

“what a right hook!” you heard jeno whoop. two more rushed you from the side, and you leapt up in the air, round house kicking one into the other. the force of the kick sending them across the room. you looked up to find a gun pointing directly in your face, senses telling you to duck in time as he fired.

crouching low, you swept his legs and knocked him out once he was on the ground. jerking your head up quickly you took notice of the only two left, and you shot webs to the walls directly behind them. they sneered at you condescendingly, “you missed us.”

you only cocked your head and you jumped up high and pulled hard, using the momentum to pull you forward. you kicked them both hard in the face at the same time, neutralizing them at once. you internally winced at the sounds of their noses cracking.

“you’re so badass, where did you learn to fight like that?” jeno said in awe. you didn’t answer him. you turned quickly to face the kingpin again, and you froze when you saw the sight. he had hyuck by the hair again, untied and standing, neck fully exposed. his dimples smile directed at you as he held a needle in his left hand centimeters away from hyuck’s throat, and he kept his chin on hyuck’s right shoulder.

“if he injects him with that -.” jaemin started and you cut him off.

“i know,” you murmured between clenched teeth, voice coming out more curt than you intended.

“take off your mask,” the kingpin requested of you happily. you stood up from your low stance.

“why?” you asked, not moving an inch. your brain was in hyperdrive trying to search the room for another option. you would accept any option at all to help at this point – and there. in the corner. you found it.

“because i want to watch your face as i kill the man you love.” you pretended to pause to think, bringing your finger to your chin in dramatic fashion.

“i will… but only if you tell me your name,” you responded.

“i don’t think you’re in a position to bargain here.” he still smiled, the grin starting to pull at his lips in a way that looked painful. you wished he would stop. the insanity of it all crossed your threshold of comfort ages ago.

“you’re right, but i would at least like to know the name of the man who’s about to kill me. consider it chivalry.” you figured when you survived this, you’d have some sort of leverage. the smile he gave you as he pondered grew more insane, and it made you uneasy.

“my name is jaehyun. what’s yours?” he chirped, a little too happily.

“ah, ah, ah,” you tutted while wagging a finger at him, letting forced amusement filter in your voice for his sake, “you only get one. my face, or my name.” shifting to one foot, you rested your hand on your hip.

feigning nonchalance was not your strong suit, but it helped when your face was covered. jaehyun didn’t hesitate with his answer.

“face.” and it was your turn to pause. you didn’t want to do this.

“please don’t,” hyuck whispered to you, eyes pleading with you, and jaehyun tugged his hair harder, earning a hiss from hyuck.

“come now. a deal’s a deal.” he scolded you both gently. your head slumped slightly as you reached up to your hood and tugging it back. then your hands made their way to your face slowly and you could hear both jeno and jaemin’s protests in your ears.

“y/n, don’t!” they shouted through the headset. you tugged off the mask, head down and with your hands open in a surrendering motion, you laid the mask down against the knocked out guard.

so they could still see.

so they could still call for help in case something went horribly wrong.

you finally looked up to make eye contact with hyuck first, you were surprised when you didn’t see fear there anymore. he looked a little proud, and somehow, also angry.

you finally dragged your eyes away from hyuck’s and looking jaehyun directly in his. he dragged his eyes up and down your body, your senses going haywire with the way he was looking at you, chills traveling down your spine making the hairs on your neck stand on end. everything about this man made your body scream danger.

“you’re surprisingly beautiful… you know what? i’ll make a deal. tell you what, you let me use you instead, keep you as mine only, and i’ll set him free.”

“just like that?” you asked, noticing how his hand drifted slightly away from hyuck’s neck.

“just like that,” jaehyun laughed, his eyes roaming over your body in a way that seemed hungry for a moment, the stare going on far longer than socially acceptable. you resisted the urge to scowl.

“no,” was all hyuck said. the finality in his voice made you jerk your head.

“where do you think you have the footing to defy me?” jaehyun murmured into hyuck’s neck and he inhaled deeply.

god, he was so fucking weird, you couldn’t help but think as the corners of your lips tugged down.

jaehyun still looking intently at you, he grinned widely at the grimace you made at the semi intimate action. you could only watch as jaehyun’s face grew darker and his eyes lit up brightly as an idea struck him.

the insane man stared at you as he forced hyuck’s head to face him, you were out of his line of sight and hyuck struggled against his hold to be able to see you again but immediately froze when jaehyun kissed him hard. it wasn’t a passionate kiss, it wasn’t meant to be romantic. but one with a hidden purpose. it was meant to hurt everyone in the room.

you took a step forward and raised your arm slightly.

“stop it.” your voice was soft.

hyuck didn’t move, keeping his lips shut tightly but it still didn’t help the rage that was bubbling up. jaehyun didn’t seem bothered by hyuck’s struggles, and he finally released hyuck’s mouth at your request and licked his lips. he was satisfied with the emotions he knew he had created in you and rested his head on hyuck’s neck again. you ground your teeth together, trying to compose yourself.

hyuck caught your eyes, and you could only hope the look in yours screamed that you were sorry for getting him caught up in this. you couldn’t help but begin to blame yourself all over again.

hyuck shaking his head caught your eye, he was good at reading you. his eyes burned with a sort of defiance and you felt a bit of tension leave your shoulders at that. he didn’t blame you, neither should you. it wouldn’t be that easy, but it was a start. after long seconds, jaehyun broke the silence, not being able to handle his lack of understanding in the silent conversation.

“you know, i could keep you both. i could have so much fun with the both of you.” he purred and he waited patiently for your response.

“absolutely not,” you and hyuck said together instantly. jaehyun visibly pouted.

“fine,” he huffed, looking up at you from the crook of hyuck’s neck. “i guess i’ll just have to kill you both then.” jaehyun’s hand that was still gripping the needle moved forward, and as if everything moved in slow motion for you, you shot a web to stick his hand to the wall with the needle, and shot another web that stuck to hyuck and yanked hard, pulling him close to you, grabbing a fistful of his hoodie and pulled him close to make sure he wouldn’t fall from the force.

“hey,” he breathed, relief washing over him as he stood so close to you. he couldn’t relax fully but to be near you calmed him somehow. “if you wanted me close, you could have just asked. the man you love is more than willing.” he flirted shamelessly, smirking shakily down at you. he was trying any way he could to break the tension somehow and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“glad to know you’re still you.” your senses alerted you, and your body reacted on its own. you shoved hyuck to the ground before you even knew what the danger was. realizing a second later what as the sound of the gunshot rang. it hit you fully in the chest, knocked you on your back and you slid across the ground several feet.

the scream of your name you heard hyuck yell broke your heart, you never wanted to hear that again you decided right then and there. as you regained your breath that had been knocked out of you, you groaned aloud, noting somewhere in the back of your mind that if jaehyun was paying attention, he now had your name and face. you would worry about that later.

you struggled to lift yourself on one elbow, a little sore but you didn’t feel the pain that you did the time before. the modifications worked, examples by the fact that you brushed off the bullet as if it were dust. you couldn’t miss how it infuriated jaehyun as he was still stuck to the wall, his face turning red in anger. you slowly rose to your feet.

“damn, dude. can’t even kill a girl right, can you?” you taunted, and you noticed he angled his gun towards hyuck who was scrambling to get up to come to your side and in the same second you grabbed the gun you had landed next to. you found the mark you had noticed earlier and shot the beaker filled with a liquid that you were sure it was flammable if the labels on the surrounding areas were anything to go by. the small bunsen burner underneath it ignited the liquid and started a chain reaction. you stepped in front of hyuck, pushing him back down to the ground to protect him as the explosion rocked the building around you.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you had smiled down at him, and all hyuck could think to say was, “i’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

“what?!” you exclaimed, and grunted as the weight pressed down further.

“if i hadn’t -.”

“not now hyuck, you know damn well that none of this is your fault. if you don’t think it’s my fault, then you can’t possibly think it’s yours but we can talk about that later, now please, can you stand?” it took hyuck longer than he’d like to admit to process the question, but eventually he nodded. he groaned as he stumbled to his feet, grabbing his side as it revolted against the movement. definitely bruised, maybe cracked.

“good, good.” you said, “now if only you could move about six feet away, that would be…” the slab shifted and your knees buckled slightly. “that would be great.”

“i’m not leaving you!” he argued. and your patience ran thin, the weight and panic of trying to save him getting to you.

“now is not the time, donghyuck! please!” you yelled at him, crying out in frustration at the situation. it caused him to pause, you never used his real name, always the shortened version you had decided on calling him since you were kids. he wavered for a moment, internally arguing with himself before stumbling away the distance you had asked. he turned back to see your knee buckle under the weight and he wanted to reach out to you.

“no, stay there. give me…” the slab shifted again and he watched you sink lower against the weight. “give me a few seconds to think.”

“y/n, you don’t have seconds!” he was frantic now with worry, watching you struggle.

you looked up to glare at him, “you’re not helping!” then your vision drifted to over his shoulder and a familiar idea popped in your head. you shifted as minutely as possible, freeing a hand. you shot a web across the room to the opposing wall and you wrapped your hand around it tightly.

“when i move, this will fall. cover your eyes or turn away. preferably both in case this crushes me,” you ordered, half joking as always, before taking two steadying breaths, once you had watched him turn halfway, and he wasn’t moving further than that, you yanked, pulling hard with all the strength you had left. the slab shifted instantly and the weight worsened but not before you were flung far from the collapsing chunk of building.

the crash of the cement slab echoed loudly in what was left of the room and hyuck ran to your side as you lay on the ground. he turned you over and at your smile, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. you sat up to look at him fully, eyes taking in his injuries. tears sprung in his eyes, and he held your cheeks in his hands.

“you’re okay.”

“you’re okay.” you parroted back at him.

you leaned forward slightly but before you could move more than an inch, his lips crashed into yours. there was a sense of need, urgency and passion in this kiss.

as if the kiss was solidifying that you were safe, you were here. one of his hands traveling down to your waist, pulling you tightly against him, the other holding onto your face like he was afraid to let go.

your hands made their way to his hair and he notated in the back of his mind that it hurt but it didn’t stop him from moving his lips against yours. after what felt like hours, you both finally separated, and he rested his forehead against yours as you both caught your breaths. he couldn’t take his eyes off of your face.

“if i had known getting kidnapped and almost murdered would have made you bolder, i would have told you much sooner.” you joked against his lips, pulling back a bit to smile up at him and he gave you his signature smirk as usual. you paused and tilted your head slightly away and strained your ears, sirens.

“police are coming, guess jeno and jaemin assumed something went wrong,” you said, slowly rising to your feet and reaching out a hand to help him up. you scanned the room quickly trying to catch sight of jaehyun but came up empty. you halfway hoped he had died but something told you that wasn’t the case. and you stopped yourself, realizing that you’d feel guilty for that train of thought later.

“well they assumed right – wait, what?!” he exclaimed and he struggled to his feet but overall was far more steady than he had been minutes before. you attempted to walk a few steps away from him but he refused to let go of your hand, so you tugged him along to pick up your mask that had dust covering it.

“i’ll tell you when we’re away from here,” you smiled at him before raising your mask slightly, hopefully showing to jeno and jaemin if they were still watching that you both were alive.

“you ready for another trip through the city, my style?” and he seemed almost childlike in his response, his giddiness showing through his grin he gave you.

“hell yeah, babe.”

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writtenatdawn · 6 months

Text

Short Notice

Word count: 563 words

I immediately noticed his presence when he came into the room, everyone does. Every mind that was preoccupied with mundane tasks almost effortlessly turned their attention to him—he always has that kind of influence on people. I try to keep my focus on my phone, acting as if I haven’t a clue that the boy, whose presence leaves the room in a trancelike state, has his sole attention on me.

“Hey,” his voice came out as light as a feather but I felt like I had been hit by a brick, which struck my defense into debris.

In the seconds that followed, I was able to come up with a long list of things that I wanted to say to him. Alas, the sentences got deliberately mixed up in my head and the words got stuck in my throat. All verbs, adjectives, and nouns seem to disappear momentarily and I only managed to form a short “Hey, too.”

Jaehyun smiled, so subtly that I thought it was my brain playing one of its vicious tricks on me. “Do you mind if I sit next to you? I only slept for an hour today, I can’t trust myself to stay awake and not miss my next flight.”

“My flight is already boarding. I’m actually sitting here to wait for the queue to shrink,” I answered, pointing quickly at Gate 4. He cast a glance at the long line of passengers who had their passport and boarding pass out for inspection. This time he chuckled.

“Seems like our schedule doesn’t lines up,” he commented without much surprise. It never lined up the way we intended to in the past either, and there is no reason for us—me—to expect that it will stop doing so now, or ever. If I were to be honest with myself, that doesn’t make it any less easy.

“I guess so,” I replied promptly, trying to ignore the slight disappointment that I feel after knowing that we don’t have much time left to converse. As if on cue, the line moves up faster than it did before. The queue now only consists of two passengers, a businessman ending his phone call and a woman who looks like she’s going on a vacation.

“It’s nice to bump into you again,” he stopped his sentence there. For a brief moment, it seemed like he was going to add something else, but I instantaneously disposed of that thought after realizing it was me begging for an implication of a possible next meeting. This one’s already an anomaly.

I gather up my things and slowly rise from my seat, all the while quietly weighing whether a handshake will prove to be appropriate or quite the contrary, unfitting. I peek from the corner of my eyes, Jaehyun—with his black shirt and black beanie that he wears a little too often, even back then—stands up from his seat with both of his hands tucked deep inside the pockets of his jeans. If I don’t think that those brown eyes—even in its coldest gaze—look like the idea of my very own safe haven, I would thank him for helping me come to a decision faster.

“Well, this is me. Goodbye.”

“Take care. Goodbye, you.”

I think it’s around 200-steps before I get back to sitting again. The cramped confines of economy class had never felt this isolating before.

[Republished to fit the updated blog post format]

#jaehyun #jaehyun drabbles #jaehyun one shots #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun x reader #jeong jaehyun #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct one shots #nct scenarios #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 one shots #nct 127 scenarios

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yutassimp · 9 days

Note

amg faria um fluffy dos jaeten trisal com a sn? Ai eles seriam papais de menininhos

Oioi! Mas é claro, está aqui!! Acabou que não ficou totalmente fluff porque sou dramática (se quiser outro mais fofo me diz que eu faço okay), mas espero que goste de qualquer maneira!! Muito obrigada pelo pedido <3

Imagine (Jaeten) - Sorry!

Personagens: leitora!feminina x marido!Jaehyun x marido!Ten

Gênero: fluff, leve angst

Avisos: crianças sendo meio doidas; os três fazem parte de um trisal, se não gosta por favor não leia!!

N/A: Meu primeiro post aqui! Espero que gostem, e me desculpa por qualquer erro, ou se acharem ruim, prometo melhorar <3

Se alguém lhe dissesse há dez anos atrás que você um dia teria uma família feliz, com não apenas dois filhos lindos, felizes e saudáveis, mas também dois maridos lindos, felizes, e saudáveis, você provavelmente riria na cara da pessoa. Mas a vida às vezes dá viravoltas, e você não poderia estar mais feliz do que está atualmente.

Porém, mesmo que você estivesse vivendo a vida dos seu sonhos, ainda assim ás vezes ela era difícil, para dizer o mínimo. Afinal, viver em uma casa com mais quatro homens que, apesar de você amar mais do que tudo, ainda são homens, não é uma tarefa fácil. E por este e outros motivos você estava nesse momento tendo que assumir o papel de mãe chata e dramática que dá bronca em todos.

“Eu pedi uma única coisa pra vocês todos, só uma!” Você disse, tentando não gritar mas falhando. “Tinham apenas que conseguir cuidar de si mesmos por um final de semana, um único final de semana, para eu poder ficar em paz com a minha mãe no hospital!” Você sentiu um nó se formas na sua garganta, e sabia que estava prestes a chorar, por isso decidiu encerrar logo seu discurso antes que perdesse a postura. “Mas parece que vocês gostam de me levar ao limite! Eu sinceramente tenho medo do que pode acontecer com essa família caso alguma coisa aconteça comigo!” Disse, se virando para sair de casa.

“Amor… não diz isso.” O Ten, um de seus maridos, disse, segurando o seu pulso de forma delicada.

“A gente sente muito mamãe…” O Hajoon, seu filho caçula, que tem 6 anos, disse logo em seguida, se prendendo a sua cintura e também quase chorando. Porém, por mais que isso partisse o seu coração, você soltou-se dos dois, se afastando.

“Eu preciso respirar um pouco.” Disse, já com a voz fraca, saindo de casa. “Tentem não piorar as coisas até eu voltar.”

Os quatro ficaram observando você sair pela porta, sabendo que não deveriam mais interferir. Assim que a porta fechou, no entanto, os dois que tentaram te parar viraram furiosos para os que até então estavam quietos.

“Por que você não falou nada pra mamãe, Hyung?” O caçula disse para o Seojun, seu filho mais velho, que tem 9 anos, e teria sido fofa a carinha de bravo dele, se as circunstancias fossem outras.

“É, por que não falaram nada para a mamãe?” O Ten disse, dirigindo um olhar duro para o Jaehyun, seu outro marido, que apenas suspirou em resposta, passando o braço pelo ombro do filho mais velho, que estava visivelmente chateado também e o puxando para perto.

“Desculpa…” Disse o Seojun, olhando para baixo.

“Vocês viram ela, não ia adiantar de nada falarmos qualquer coisa agora…” O Jaehyun falou, e o Ten suspirou, passando as mãos pelo rosto e se jogando no sofá. “A gente errou feio…”

“Têm certeza que conseguem cuidar de tudo?” Você disse, pegando as suas chaves do carro. “Ainda dá tempo de eu ligar para o meu irmão e pedir para ele ir no meu lugar…”

“Relaxa jagi… não confia na gente?” O Jaehyun perguntou, te dando um selinho, e você apenas ergueu uma sobrancelha em resposta.

“Vamos ficar bem.” O Ten disse, rindo e também lhe dando um selinho. “Pode ir e cuidar da sua mãe… e se precisar de nós, é só ligar.”

Você apenas concordou em resposta, e logo saiu de casa, após se despedir dos pequenos. A verdade é que estava com o coração na mão de ficar longe pelo maior período que já ficou longe da sua família toda assim, mas a sua outra parte da família precisava mais de você no momento. A sua mãe tinha sofrido um acidente de carro, que não foi fatal, mas ainda assim os assustou muito. Ela precisava que alguém ficasse com ela durante o final de semana, e você logo se prontificou para isso, querendo estar ao lado dela em um momento tão difícil.

“Eu disse que pode ir pra casa, filha… os meninos devem estar precisando de você…” Sua mãe disse, te observando olhar nervosa para o telefone. Era sexta-feira à noite, faziam apenas três horas que estava no hospital, mas já estava inquieta.

“Não, não vou sair mãe, estou aqui para cuidar de você hoje.” Você se levantou de onde estava, andando até ela e ajeitando um pouco os travesseiros em que estava encostada. “Eu só estou com um mal pressentimento… mas deve ser porque nunca fiz isso antes, tenho certeza de que eles estão bem.” Sorriu.

E de fato, eles estavam. Pelo menos até aquele momento.

Durante a noite tudo ocorreu de forma tranquila. Todos cozinharam juntos o jantar, jogaram um jogo de tabuleiro enquanto tomavam sorvete como sobremesa, e logo estavam todos em seus quartos, prontos para dormir.

“Nem está sendo tão difícil cuidar deles, não sei porque a S/N estava tão preocupada…” O Jaehyun disse, se deitando do seu lado da cama enquanto observava o Ten terminar sua Skin Care.

“É… mas devo admitir, as coisas estão estranhamente tranquilas, até quando ela está aqui eles não são bonzinhos assim… não lembro a última vez que eles passaram uma noite inteira sem brigar desse jeito.” Guardou o último produto que tinha usado, indo até a cama e se deitando também.

“É verdade…” O mais novo respondeu. “Mas talvez seja saudades da S/N, ou preocupação com a avó deles…” Terminou, apagando a luz e se ajeitando para dormir.

“Espero que sim…” O Ten completou, fazendo o mesmo.

Como já era de se esperar, a calmaria acabou de forma rápida. Na verdade foi logo pela manhã do dia seguinte que o caos começou. E quando eu digo caos, é de forma genuína.

“O que houve?” O Ten disse, ainda meio tonto de sono, entrando no quarto dos meninos, e sendo seguido pelo Jaehyun logo atrás.

“O Hajoon vomitou na minha cama!” O Seojun disse, nervoso, olhando para o mais novo que estava acuado na prórpria cama.

“Eita que nojo.” O Jaehyun disse, mas logo se prontificou em ir tirar a roupa de cama suja e a levar para o lado de fora, enquanto o Ten se aproximava do pequeno.

“Você tá passando mal?” Ele perguntou, se sentando do lado dele e colocando a mão em sua testa, para ver a temperatura. “Que estranho, não comemos nada fora do normal ontem…”

“Acho que foram os doces que o Seojun Hyung me deu…” Ele falou antes mesmo de raciocinar o que tinha dito, fazendo o mais velho já o olhar bravo.

“Fica quieto, Hajoon!” Ele gritou, bem no momento em que o Jaehyun entrou, já olhando estranho para a situação.

“Não fala assim com o seu irmão, ele tá doente.” Falou, sendo cortado pelo Ten, que se levantou, nervoso.

“Ele não está doente, eles comeram doce escondido…” Suspirou, olhando para o mais velho. “Por que fez isso? Se quisesse alguma coisa era só pedir… sabem que não podem comer as coisas sem limites, exatamente para não acontecer isso aqui.” O Ten terminou, e o seu parceiro concordou.

“Nada teria acontecido se não fosse por esse bebê chorão!” Ele falou, apontando para o mais novo, que logo se levantou para se defender.

“Eu não sou bebê chorão.” Ele disse, apesar de começar a chorar logo em seguida.

O que aconteceu em seguida foi de uma rapidez absurda. Em um instante, eles viam os seus dois filhos brigarem cada um de um lado do quarto. E, no instante seguinte, havia um pequeno bolo de crianças no chão do quarto, brigando e rolando de um lado para o outro. É claro que os seus maridos foram rápidos em separar os meninos, mas infelizmente não rápidos o suficiente.

“Aaaaii!” Ele ouviram um grito agonizante vir do mais velho que fez com que todos paralisassem por um instante. “Meu braço! O Hajoon caiu no meu braço, papai tá doendo.” Ele caiu no choro, e logo ambos os pais estavam o acudindo de forma desesperada.

“Pega o carro e coloca o Hajoon lá, eu vou pegar as coisas do Seojun e já vou lá com ele também.” O Ten disse, já se levantando, e o Jaehyun concordou, pegando o mais novo no colo, que logo também começou a chorar.

“Pai, eu machuquei o Hyung? Ele vai morrer?” O pequeno disse, aos prantos, enquanto era colocado no carro, enquanto o Ten fazia o mesmo do outro lado do banco.

“Não, ninguém vai morrer.” O Jae disse. “Mas você machucou o seu irmão sim…” Prendeu o conto no caçula, que logo se virou para o mais velho.

“Me desculpa Hyung, foi sem querer…” Ele disse, visivelmente chateado.

“Não tem nada pra dizer pro seu irmão, Seojun?” O Ten disse, já se sentando no banco da frente.

“Tudo bem…” O mais velho respondeu, apesar de estar olhando para o lado de fora da janela enquanto o carro saía. “E, me desculpa por te fazer passar mal…”

“Tudo bem, eu te perdoo.” O mais novo respondeu, com um leve sorriso, fazendo os dois homens na frente sorrirem um para o outro também.

”Ué, que estranho…” Você disse, olhando para o seu celular, e fazendo a sua mão tirar a atenção do programa que assistia na tela do seu notebook. “Recebi uma mensagem do convênio dizendo que o Seojun deu entrada aqui no hospital…”

“Será que foi engano?” Sua mãe questionou, e você de ombros, fazendo ela voltar a falar depois de ficar em silêncio por alguns instantes. “Talvez seja melhor ir verificar… se qualquer forma, se for engano, você já pode resolver.”

Você acabou por concordar, garantindo que estaria de volta assim que possível. Infelizmente isso acabou demorando mais do que o esperado.

Você foi até a área da emergência, lugar onde o erro parecia ter cometido, mas assim que colocou os pés lá percebeu que não era um erro.

“Ai meu Deus, o que vocês estão fazendo aqui?” Você falou, assim que avistou os seu dois maridos sentados em umas cadeiras.

“Merda…” O Ten falou, baixinho. “Não tinha dito que ela tava no outro hospital?” Ele sussurrou nervos para o Jaehyun.

“Acho que confundi…” Ele respondeu, igualmente baixo, bem a tempo de você chegar neles.

“O que aconteceu com o Seojun?” Você disse, mas mal foi possível dar uma chance para eles responderem, porque logo sentiu um par de bracinhos rodar a sua cintura.

“Mamãe!” O seu filho caçula, e você se virou apenas para se deparar com o seu mais velho com o braço totalmente engessado, e um olhar desesperado. Ah, mas você ia matar os seus maridos.

“E se a gente comprar um presente pra mamãe?” O Hajoon disse, amuado no colo do Ten, que apenas suspirou em resposta.

“Sua mãe não quer presente… ela só queria que a gente tivesse ficado bem para ela poder cuidar da vovó…” Disse, de forma doce, e o pequeno concordou.

“E se a gente pedir ajuda da vovó?” Foi a vez do mais velho falar, abrindo a boca pela primeira vez desde que você tinha ido embora, e pegando todos de surpresa.

“Continue…” O Jaehyun disse, se aproximando dele e se sentando ao seu lado.

“A vovó é a única pessoa que a mamãe vai ouvir agora… se a gente falar para a vovó que estamos arrependidos de verdade, ela talvez possa convencer a mamãe a ficar menos brava com a gente.” Ele falou, e o restante concordou com a cabeça.

“O tio de vocês me disse que vai ficar com a vovó essa noite, então a S/N provavelmente vai voltar pra casa de qualquer jeito…” O Jaehyun acrescentou, também recebendo um aceno de todos, que já começavam a compreender o que deveria ser feito.

“Têm certeza que não querem que eu fique?” Você perguntou para sua mãe e seu irmão. “Não é como se eu estivesse com muita vontade de voltar para casa de qualquer maneira…” Suspirou, e sua família se entreolhou.

“Pode ficar tranquila, gatinha.” Seu irmão disse, se levantando e andando até a porta. “Eu cuido da mamãe… vou só dar uma passadinha no refeitório e já estou de volta.” Ele falou, dando um aceno de cabeça para sua mãe, ato que passou despercebido por você.

“Filha…” Sua mãe disse, assim que ficaram sozinhas. “Lembra quando me disse pela primeira vez que estava namorando o Ten e o Jaehyun?” Você franziu o cenho, mas concordou com a cabeça de qualquer maneira. “Lembro até hoje que quase infartei na época, mas logo isso passou porque eu sabia que, apesar de tudo, você estava em boas mãos.” Você começou a imaginar onde ela iria chegar, mas deixou que terminasse de qualquer maneira. “Afinal quem melhor para cuidar da minha filha do que as duas pessoas que sempre a traziam bêbada, mas em segurança para casa quando você decidia encher a cara nos finais de semana?” Você riu de leve. “Ou os dois que te acharam em horas depois que fugiu de casa por ter brigado comigo, e te trouxe de volta também em segurança? Ou ainda os dois que fizeram questão de me buscar ás três e meia da manhã enquanto estava em trabalho de parto porque sabiam o quanto você me queria lá?”

“Tá tá… já entendi…” Você suspirou, e sua mãe riu de leve.

“Acidentes acontecem, S/N… mas nem sempre eles são um erro.” Você a olhou. “Olha você e seu irmão!” Dessa vez você riu alto, e sua mãe se juntou à você. “Você sabe que eles são bons pais… e também que se esforçam muito para todos vocês… seja menos dura com eles.”

Você suspirou, se levantando da cadeira onde estava e se aproximando da sua mãe, a dando um abraço carinhoso, mas delicado para não a machucar.

“Você está certa, mãe… eu vou lá ver os meus meninos.” Você disse, sorrindo e se afastando.

Você ficou alguns minutos dentro do carro, quando chegou em casa. Pensando sobre como poderia se desculpar por ter sido tão grossa com todos mais cedo. A verdade é que tinha se arrependido de tudo o que tinha falado no minuto em que saiu da porta, mas sabia que ainda assim estava nervosa demais para lidar com eles na hora. Agora, porém, era diferente.

O que a sua mãe tinha falado te afetou mesmo. E você não é idiota, viu que ela estava trocando mensagens com o Ten e que eles pediram para ela falar com você, mas, ainda assim… ela estava certa. Os seus maridos sempre estiveram ao seu lado, nos seus erros e acertos, e ainda assim você virou as costas para eles quando estavam com problemas.

Suspirou mais uma vez, encostando a testa no volante por alguns segundos, ainda pensando em qual poderia ser a melhor maneira de falar com eles. Mas os seus pensamentos foram cortados por uma batidinha no vidro da janela.

“Seojun?” Disse, vendo o seu filho mais velho do outro lado, e logo sentindo o seu peito apertar ao ver o braço dele machucado, e se lembrar de como foi cruel com eles mesmo assim. Por isso, não demorou para sair do veículo, e o puxar para si, com cuidado para não o machucar ainda mais.

“Você tá bem, mãe?” Ele perguntou, e você se afastou um pouco, o olhando nos olhos.

“Claro que sim meu amor… quem deveria estar fazendo essa pergunta aqui sou eu, olha só pra você…” Disse, passando a mão pelo gesso, mas dando um leve sorriso ao ver que o caçula e os seus maridos já haviam o rabiscado.

“Mãe…” Ele disse, parecendo envergonhado. “Tudo o que aconteceu foi culpa minha… por favor, não fica brava com o Hajoon e os papais…” Você podia ouvir a vozinha dele começar a falhar, o que fez com que se abaixasse e segurasse o seu pequeno rosto para que olhasse para você.

“Não foi culpa de ninguém, meu amor… e não se preocupe, eu não estou brava.”

“Não?” Ele perguntou genuinamente surpreso, te fazendo rir.

“Não… eu amo demais meus meninos pra ficar longe por tanto tempo.” Respondeu, o dando um beijo na bochecha no momento em que a porta da garagem abriu, dando lugar à um Jaehyun visivelmente desesperado.

“Seojun?” Ele gritou, à procura do filho, mas congelou assim que te viu ali. “S/N?” Ele falou mais leve, correndo até você e te puxando para um abraço instantaneamente, mas se soltou pouco tempo depois, um pouco envergonhado. “Desculpa… sei que está brava, mas eu…”

“Tá tudo bem…” Riu de leve, se aproximando e o dando um selinho. “Eu também estava com saudade.”

“Eca!” Você ouviu um coro de três vozes, sorrindo quando viu o seu outro marido e seus dois filhos bem atrás do Jaehyun.

“Até parece que não quer um também…” Você disse, depositando um leve beijo também nos lábios do Ten, e causando mais um coro de ecas.

“Ainda bem que voltou.” O Ten disse, enquanto observava você abraçar o caçula. “Eu sei que pisamos na bola, mas a gente promete que isso nunca mais vai acontecer…” Você podia ver o arrependimento no rosto de todos eles, o que fez o seu coração doer mais uma vez.

“Se tem alguém que precisa se desculpar, esse alguém sou eu… vocês claramente precisavam de mim, e eu os deixei sozinhos e preocupados… me desculpem…” Assim que terminou de falar foi coberta por quatro pares de braços, o que te fez rir. Era bom estar de volta em casa.

“Vai logo mãe!” O Seojun disse, rindo do quão perfeccionista você estava sendo com a assinatura do gesso dele. “Desse jeito quando acabar meu osso já vai estar curado.”

“Ei!" Disse, ofendida, mas sem conseguir segurar uma risada, que foi acompanhada pelo restante da família.

“Okay, vão ser duas pizzas, uma de quatro queijos e uma de calabresa, certo?” O Ten, que estava procurando algo para pedirem pela internet, perguntou, e vocês concordaram.

“Pronto!” Disse, orgulhosa do seu desenho no braço do seu filho, que apesar das reclamações também pareceu ter gostado.

“A gente não vai pedir sobremesa?” O seu caçula perguntou, fazendo todo mundo o olhar indignado. “Eu tava só perguntando…” Ele fez um biquinho, se escondendo atrás do Jaehyun no sofá, que logo o puxou para o colo quando todos começaram a rir.

“Acho que é melhor evitar doces por um tempo, filho.” O Jae disse.

“É, seu irmão tem só mais um braço, não vai ser bom quebrar ele também…” Você falou, fazendo todos rirem mais uma vez.

“Ei!” O Seojun disse, assim como você mais cedo, e você o puxou para um abraço apertado, que ele lutou contra com todas as suas forças, mas acabou cedendo.

“Ah é…” Você disse, de repente, chamando a atenção de todos. “O que foi que vocês disseram para a minha mãe?” Seus maridos se entreolharam com um sorriso, já sabendo que você descobriria.

“A gente pediu para ela dizer para você vir buscar alguma coisa aqui em casa, pra gente poder tentar se desculpar com você.” O Jaehyun disse.

“Só isso?” Franziu o cenho, recebendo um aceno positivo de cabeça dos dois.

“Sim, pode pegar meu celular pra ver, se quiser.” O Ten disse, dando de ombros. “Por que?” Dessa vez foi a vez dele franzir o cenho.

“Por nada não…” Disse, sorrindo de forma despreocupada, o que foi o suficiente.

É, a sua mãe de fato estava certa. Aqueles dois te amavam muito mais do que você se dava conta.

#nct #imagine #jaehyun #ten #jaeten #trisal #nct127 #nctu #wayv #pt-br #pt br #one shot #ask #drabble

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klimtjardin · 8 months

Text

Q U A N D O B A T E A Q U E L A S A U D A D E

Jaehyun x Personagem Original

{enredo: Jaehyun retorna ao lugar onde foi criado e lá desenterra um balde de memórias; isso é ficção!; romace; Jaehyun é brasileiro/gaúcho; um pouco de angst; regionalismos; essa é uma história antiga que esteve em meu perfil no Spirit, que fiz para uma pessoa com quem hoje nem tenho mais contato. Não sei. Lembrei da existência e quis repostar. Escrevi essa numa época de muita saudade de casa. Gostaria de escrever bem como Veríssimo, mas esse foi o máximo que pude naquele momento, acho que vocês vão perceber as diferenças dessa pra minha escrita atual.}

Jaehyun ainda se sentia inexperiente em campo aberto, mesmo tendo passado mais de metade de sua vida em um. Cavalgar era um escape, e foi exultante a sensação de saber que o seu cavalo se lembrava dele. Não foi necessário mais do que alguns assobios para que o animal atendesse e deixasse ser montado.

O vislumbre dos pampas pela manhã era uma visão da qual jamais se cansaria, mesmo com os pensamentos enuviados como naquele dia. Com uma milonga nos fones de ouvido, saiu galopando pelo conhecido caminho da infância. Passou pelos verdejantes campos que terminavam com uma pastagem quase dourada, os pomares da família, um campo de gado, e rente ao fim, às parreiras carregadas com as uvas que produziam o melhor vinho da região. Memórias recorriam a mente do menino, de quando ainda era guri correndo por aquilo que parecia tão infinito quanto um mar. Relutava em admitir que sentia um vazio ao pensar no lar, de longe. Escolheu terminar o colégio e fazer uma faculdade no exterior, portanto, passou um bom tempo com a outra metade da sua família, mas nenhum lugar era ou seria como aquele que abrigava todas as fragrâncias, sabores e sentimentos dum pequenino Jaehyun.

Quando o cavalo já trotava próximo à vila mais perto da estância, Jaehyun teve um misto de confusão e nostalgia. Como estariam aquelas pessoas? Será que se lembravam dele? Será que se perguntavam como estava o menino Jung que corria com as mãos gordinhas cheias de uvas?

Ele parou à frente do único mercadinho da região, uma construção singela, por onde recordava passar muito tempo. Esperou que o dono o cumprimentasse com um aceno de cabeça, talvez um olhar surpreso. Porém, quem lhe atendeu foi uma moça. Enquanto ela lhe encarava com certo assombro, ele não pôde conter um sorriso largo que mostrou as duas covinhas cavadas no canto de suas bochechas.

– Bela? – Questionou.

A moça por sua vez, endireitou-se. Reconheceria aquela voz de barítono em qualquer lugar.

– Seu Jung? – Ela lhe devolveu a pergunta.

– Não me chame assim, parece quem nem nos conhecemos…

De fato… Se não fossem pelos olhos gigantes como duas bolitas, talvez Jaehyun não a reconhecesse, já que esta se encontrava tão diferente de quando costumavam brincar juntos. Bela agora era uma mulher; o que fazia Jaehyun diretamente inferir que ele também era um homem, e não mais o guri louco de assanhado de tempos atrás.

– Vieste comprar algo?

– Bem, sim, mas já que te vi aqui vamos conversar – ele respondeu.

– Pai eu vou dar uma volta, o Jaehyun está aqui – Ela virou, desamarrando o nó do avental. – Sim, o Jung, filho do dono da estância.

O pai de Bela deu um aceno tímido ao rapaz quando ela saiu da venda pela porta lateral.

– Este é o Garibaldi, o teu cavalo? – Ela perguntou assim que viu o animal parado ao lado dele.

– É sim, eu tinha medo que ele não me reconhecesse – Jaehyun acariciou as costas do bicho daquele jeito tosco, dando umas batidinhas. – E tu? Quanto tempo demorou para perceber quem eu era?

– Bom… Não tem muitos rapazes iguais a ti por aqui – Ela deu de ombros.

– Ainda sabe montar? – Ele indicou.

– Podemos descobrir.

Jaehyun subiu no cavalo novamente, em seguida ajudando Bela a sentar atrás de si.

– Com emoção ou sem emoção?

– Se me conhece bem, sabe a resposta.

Jaehyun impulsionou-se para frente, evocando um relinchar de Garibaldi. O cavalo saiu em desatino pelo mesmo caminho que o dono percorreu para chegar ali. Jaehyun respirou fundo assim que Bela enlaçou sua cintura com os braços; esperou aquele momento por muito. Queria encher-lhe de perguntas sobre como havia sido a vida ali por aquele tempo em que esteve fora, porque a dele com certeza fora um porre atrás do outro, e nenhuma festa se comparava a calmaria daquele lugar. Garibaldi parou perto das parreiras a comando de seu dono. Ele desceu do cavalo e ofereceu a mão para a moça que o acompanhava. Os dois caminharam por um pedaço sem falar nada, apenas admirando a plantação - e porque não - a companhia um do outro.

– Como ficou aqui? – Jaehyun sondou.

– O mesmo de sempre – Bela mais uma vez se esquivou, dando uma risadinha para evitar que ele pensasse que estava sendo grosseira. – Aqui é… calmo.

– Quer uma? – Ele lhe ofereceu uma uva recém arrancada do pé.

– Tu não perde os maus costumes. – Bela deu um chega pra lá em seu ombro, mas aceitou.

Jaehyun riu de canto.

– Lembra que a gente corria por tudo isso? Eu sinto saudade.

– Lá fora não é tão legal?

– É, é bem chato. Não tem cavalo. Nem tu.

– Que guri bacudo! Não sabe nem aproveitar. Aposto que tem um monte de coisas boas lá.

– Já disse que não é que nem aqui. – Ele chutou o chão irregular mesmo que a ponta da alpargata não fizesse nem cócegas no mato. Virou-se para Bela com um sorriso sapeca e empurrando-a com o ombro anunciou que a brincadeira de pegar estava com ela.

Eles dispararam entre os parreirais, rindo e gritando como duas crianças que outrora cresceram por ali. Jaehyun pegou Bela pela cintura, a erguendo e recebendo resmungos de protesto. A menor balançou os pés elevados numa birra que não foi atendida. Quando se cansou, Jaehyun a largou embaixo de uma das árvores do pomar, ambos ofegantes, as bochechas cheias coloridas igual maçãs. Ele foi o primeiro a sentar-se embaixo da sombra da copa, sendo seguido pela moça num movimento estabanado. Jaehyun recostou a cabeça na coxa dela, suspirando pesado.

– Canta – Sugeriu.

Bela limpou a garganta demorando meio segundo apenas para pensar em uma música.

– “É você que tem

Os olhos tão gigantes

A boca tão gostosa

Eu não vou aguentar.”

Jaehyun sorriu de canto, revelando apenas uma covinha. Os seus pensamentos viajaram longe, muito longe dali. Num lugar onde se encontrava pouco tempo atrás; uma espécie de inércia mental que sugava sua energia. Uma rotina de universidade, festas, bebidas, bocas estranhas, corpos estranhos, sentimentos nulos que preenchiam a falta que aquele cenário lhe fazia. Um cotidiano fútil que aprendera com seus colegas enquanto tomava notas sobre agrotóxicos e transgênicos, o olhar atravessando a janela ao se perguntar o que a turma de jornalismo estaria fazendo naquele instante.

– “Olha bem, mulher

Eu vou te ser sincero

Eu tô com uma vontade danada de te entregar todos beijos que eu não te dei

E eu tô com uma saudade apertada de ir dormir bem cansado

E de acordar do teu lado pra te dizer que eu te amo

Que eu te amo demais.”

E sim, os devaneios sobre ela. Mesmo que houvesse conhecido muitas pessoas diferentes e diversas de suas próprias maneiras, ele constantemente lembrava Bela. Quando caminhava pela rua da floricultura e via as rosas abertas. Quando alguém citava qualquer literatura numa conversa. Quando ouvia Rubel, e até quando seus professores soltavam um ‘todavia’ durante uma explicação. Jaehyun sentia saudade. Saudade, aquela palavra cuja existência se encontra unicamente no dicionário brasileiro. De todas as palavras que poderiam existir em sua língua mãe, saudade não existia em nenhum outro lugar.

– “Olha bem, mulher

Eu vou te ser sincero

Quero te ver de branco

Quero te ver no altar”

Jaehyun ergueu-se interrompendo a canção da moça.

– Eu não aguento – disse somente.

Ela esperou que ele completasse com alguma sentença a mais, que explicasse o que aquela frase solta queria dizer. Entretanto, Jaehyun encarou-a por um longo momento, sem piscar. Seus olhos esquadrinharam o semblante dela na busca de algum sentimento que se parecesse com o que se passava em seu interior.

– Eu te amo demais – Sorriu.

#mentira passei o dia no campo e de repente fiquei pensando nos neos como estancieiros #esqueço ás vezes das partes bonitas daqui #one shot #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios

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moonttaeil · 1 year

Text

i've been waiting for you;

▶ Pairing: Jaehyun x reader.

▶ Word count: 5k.

▶ one shot; very angsty; talks of violence; talks of domestic violence;if you're not comfortable of the idea of Y/N being abused please do not read; it does not have a very happy ending; im sorry; it has both jaehyun and Y/N pov's; (also jaehyun is not the abuser pls dont be scared)

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said, still not looking at me. Something inside of me broke, scratched my organs, and made me bleed. Something inside of me cried out, harder than when receiving blows on my ribs. Something inside of me died the moment I heard his empty voice. I kept silent but he did not say anything else. It was an ending sentence, for me, for him, for what he could’ve been. We both knew, but we were both too scared to say it out loud.

The first time I found myself in front of her the world around me fell. It is blurry, and I hope someday I’m able to make out what my thoughts on that precise moment were, but for now, all I know is her bright red lipstick draws me in like a month to a flame. Oh, what a flame she was.

Her eyes silently called my way and my feet moved, pulled by the inevitable forces, a magnet she held close to her heart, hidden from the outside world, only felt by my hands that itched to touch her skin, burn themselves while trying to hold her near me, burn myself to ashes while trying to conquer something that was way out of my reach.

It was a dark night. Not even the stars had shown up for our meeting. Her smile made up for that, although she was not keen to show it to me. Her lips moved; I heard her voice. I was entranced. I was hypnotized. I was immediately obsessed. Was she aware of how her presence affected me? If she was, she did not show a sign of it, not a flinch, not an intimidating glance.

Somehow her glass was always full. She drank, and the moisture left behind on the edges of her mouth begged me to come closer. The stains on her glass, red, passionate, every second farther from me. I remember I answered her every question, I tried to be gentle, not raising my voice through the loudness of the bar. She seemed to be able to hear my every word, even the whispers that escaped from between my lips without my permission.

I do remember the first time I saw her—I hoped to one day to forget.

I always anticipated her entrance, and sometimes I was left only with broken hopes. She appeared and disappeared from time to time, leaving me wanting more, craving her presence. “I’ve been waiting for you” I would mutter out when she spent more than five days without checking by the bar, our place, our seats secretly reserved for ourselves. She would smile at me, slightly, almost imperceptible to the human eye.

“Careful with waiting too long,” she would say, “some people become ghosts of the past while holding tightly on a dead idea.”

I should’ve listened.

Although we always sat by one another and talked, it had been the fifth time I saw her that I asked her the name that would stick with me for the rest of the years I had left to live. “Y/N,” she said, and I dreamt with her voice repeatedly. She did not ask back, and I felt uncomfortable. I wanted her to know—I needed her to think about it, to put a name on my face, to dream with it. “Jaehyun,” I answered back, trying to remain complete after being broken so many times by her eyes.

She hummed in response. “I know.” I never asked how.

Eventually, she decided to let me into her world. We stumbled out of the bar, her arm was wrapped around mine, trying to steady herself while she laughed at something, anything. Her eyes were shining so bright that night, the stars never dared to appear in her presence again. I couldn’t deny what was obvious, her trap for me had worked, excellently. Brilliantly. Her feet couldn’t walk straight, and in the end, I found a way to keep her on her feet without falling, dangling from my side. She never stopped laughing.

“You drank more than usual tonight,” I commented, with no malice. No second intention. She was happy—disoriented, but happy. I was content to be able to spend time with her. She stopped and looked up at me, the remains of her happiness still written all over her forehead, cheeks, and chin. It was a second later, she sat on the curb, her knees finding their way to her chest.

“Sometimes I feel like…” her voice trailed off, her eyes getting lost somewhere in the dark, in front of her, “like I have a lot of important things to say,” she muttered. I stood beside her, still on my feet, uncomfortable, trying to understand her mind. I realized I was still very far from the world inside of her body. “I know I have important things to say,” she repeated, but she was not talking to me, directly. “I simply…” a sigh, “don’t know what they are, yet.”

“It is hard to translate feelings into words.”

I sat beside her, in silence. My back hurt due to the position; she forced a smile back at me.

“It’s not feelings,” she said, “a long time ago I had those, you know?” her question was not meant to be answered. Not by me. I listened. “Long time ago, when my body was not bruised, when my life was not threatened—when I was actually obsessed with living, with waking up, I was that girl.”

In my eyes, she was still that girl.

She kept quiet, reminiscing about the past. Her memories.

“What happened to her?” I asked. I thought about it for a moment—if she ever was more, more, more than what she was now than what I only knew of her, my heart would not have been able to take it. Her eyes darted to me before moving slowly to look down.

“She…”

No words were needed for her to explain. She was dead, her old self, the young girl that wanted to eat the whole world before it eats her. She was dead, buried under the new Y/N that had risen to protect the corpse, the soul, the passion. “I just wish I could stop missing the old version of me,” she whispered before standing up.

That night she left alone. I could’ve jumped right after her, I could’ve followed, and may be accompanied her back home. Everyone knew the streets were not safe at night, with dark alleys, and hungry eyes. I could’ve offered a helping hand. A conversation back home. But I did not. Instead, I stayed where I had been sitting by her side. Her presence lingered behind me, even when my eyes followed every step of her body leaving me behind.

She did not come back for two weeks.

When I saw her again, there was no trace left of the sour conversation we have had the last time. Instead, she smiled, sat by me, and told me what a stressful day she had had. I listened to her, being back next to her lifting my spiring at last. As usual, I said, “I’ve been waiting for you,” she hummed. “Wouldn’t it be nice if I waited for you too?” she had asked.

I knew that was not possible. She was not obsessed – not anymore, -- with herself, as I was. It was a dangerous thought and feeling. I was playing with fire every time I saw her enter the bar. I was burning my fingers every time I let her smile at me. I was consuming my soul every time we left together, and let her go alone, leaving me behind. I was aware I would end up cremated, somehow, because of her.

“Can I take you out to dinner?” I once asked. We were outside the bar. It was late, as usual. Her eyes looked up at me, surprised. I had been gathering the courage to ask her that question for the last four months, ever since the first time, I saw her. That night she wore a leather jacket, bruises hidden from anyone near her. I knew her answer.

“You know I can’t,” and I knew she couldn’t. She had never explicitly said it out loud, it would damage the little bubble we have both threaded with caution, not overstepping the limits we have imposed for one another. I sighed, defeated one more time. It hurt to know that I’d always be at an arm-length distance from her, inevitably. She sensed the discouragement. She knew she was walking on a thin line; she was scared, and she was scatred. She could lose me the same I could lose her.

I couldn’t be sure who would be losing more.

“I want…” she whispered.

“I know.”

It was a difficult situation for her to be carrying on her shoulders. I knew I was obsessed. She knew I was obsessed. I knew there was someone else in her life. She suffered their presence in her life. I knew I wanted to be with her, to let my fingers meet her body, to kiss her and let her fall asleep on top of my chest. She knew it would be a suicidal attempt to run away with me. “What do you say?” I rushed out, “when you go home late when you arrive drunk, what do you say?”

She contemplated if she should answer or not. Her hands were now secured inside the pockets of her coat. Winter was coming, and we both knew it wouldn’t be long before we had to stop meeting in that bar, due to weather, and maybe other circumstances. “Sometimes I get away with it,” she simply answers, a smile trying to catch my attention while she spoke. “Sometimes I don’t.”

Although the questions were slowly rising inside my throat, and the feeling of rage crept behind my back, I kept my mouth closed shut. I knew—she knew I knew. She wasn’t hiding it, but she wasn’t giving me any details either. Her position was harder than mine, her chances to lose, her chances to win.

“Jaehyun,” and the sound of her voice interpreting my name, it held me captive, and it would hold me captive forever, I knew. Jaehyun. Slowly, her fingers found their way to mine. It was a shy movement, she was breaking our secret agreement, she was trespassing the limits, the boards that held our worlds separated. “I think of you when I’m sad.”

It was a hard feeling to swallow.

“How often?”

“Every night.”

I nodded. I held her hand tightly, I pulled her in. She let herself be pulled. Her feet took a step closer to my body. She did not look up at me.

“I cannot ask you to come with me.”

“No, you can’t,” she whispered.

“I cannot ask you to run away with me.”

“No, you can’t,” her eyes closed softly.

“Where can I find you, if not here?”

She stayed silent.

It had been three nights since I last saw Jaehyun. Every time I met him, I took a step closer to an inevitable ending for me, myself, my body, and my soul. I was aware—but what else could I do? He gave me the slightest hope. When he looked at me, he did not simply look at me. He saw me. He saw past and through me. I felt his eyes rummage through all my memories, which all belonged to me, only to me. But he still entered, he still tried to pick up the broken chaos inside me. He did that, unconsciously.

I felt alive under his gaze. I felt awake when he listened to me. I felt mortal every time I took a step away from him, leaving his body standing still behind me, looking at me. I always fought back my emotions when that moment came around. Don’t look back, keep walking. Don’t look back, keep walking. Don’t—

And I did. I always left, and never asked him to follow.

Then, I was alone. The sound of my steps was the only thing accompanying me, along with my cracking fingers. Walking out of the bubble, the thin edges, the comfort. Walking out of the light. Walking out of the passion—out of Jaehyun. But I knew better than to stop.

I always tried to come up with an excuse, even if it wouldn’t work. Too much work? A night out with friends? Simple walk that took me out of reality. That last one I hoped to come one day true. The lights of the apartment building were almost all out. A cat crossed by me, hurriedly. The beeping sound of the numbers being typed in the little monitor, the display shining light blue. A deep breath after another. Jaehyun. My mind screamed his name. Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun.

Almost at my door—our door, what used to be our door, what used to hold so much meaning, now reduced to simple iron in front of me. The key was inside the lock. The lights are out, and then I know it’s imminent.

I could’ve asked for help. But who was I to drag anyone, innocent, inside the hell that was built only for myself? Who was I to doom anyone else besides myself? The same questions repeat after I am inside. Where have you been, why do you come so late? Empty streets are not a suitable place for you—but if you've turned yourself into a whore, then I guess they are. I keep my mouth shut.

He's in the dark. But I can make out the figure of his slouched body on the couch. He is not looking at me. I smell him. The booze. The weed. I turn around to avoid discussion, praying this night I’d be able to get away with it. When my body finally sides my room – our room, where we used to daydream about one day having a family, now reduced to an empty cage – my back is on the door. I hope he does not follow tonight—not tonight.

Jaehyun. Jaehyun.

It had been a lie. I had lied to him. I did not only think of him when I was sad. His name popped into my mind whenever I crossed the threshold of this house.

Knocks on the door. My mind goes blank. I did not hear his steps. He wasn’t drunk. No, not tonight. He was sober, he had power. I wouldn’t get away with it tonight, I say to myself, I communicate silently to Jaehyun. I’m sorry I keep you waiting, I’m sorry I don’t appear, but the bruises will be too noticeable for me to face you like that.

I turn around and open the door.

I don’t go back to the bar for the rest of the week either. I know she won’t be there; Y/N won’t appear. That’s why I always pass by the glossy doors, a quick glance inside before turning my attention to the crowded street in front of me. If I were to be asked how I knew—I wouldn’t be able to explain.

It was cruel. I knew it was cruel to let her go each night we spent a few hours together, I knew it was miserable of me to not run behind her and catch her and keep her safe, but who was I to even consider if she was not safe enough? Maybe I was just a coward whenever it came to the moment to move and act. That’s why I stood still every time she turned around to leave, just watching her, trying to remember every step she takes in the other direction until her figure is completely lost in the shadows of the night.

I knew it was cruel, but I couldn’t make myself overstep the boundaries she had imposed on me.

That Friday I entered my house without going to the bar either. I was met with loneliness. I had created for myself a safe place where I couldn’t be harmed, I have created that space for me, only for me, my nostalgia imprinting every corner of the residence.

I turned the lights on. I took off my shoes. I sat down on the couch. I could hear the neighbor kids laughing through the paper-thin walls. I could smell the dinner that was being made at the restaurant in front of our building. I could keep count of every car passing by my window. I was not focused. I was thinking of her. I was missing her. I was envisioning her in front of me, next to me, on top of me.

I had to close my eyes. Y/N. The name, the smell, the laugh, the touch.

I was losing myself to the delirium of not having her right there—right then. I needed her, I was poisoned by her, and I was addicted to her. Jaehyun, I could almost hear her say my name next to my ear. I opened my eyes, shocked. A thin layer of sweat had formed on my forehead, and neck, and nape. She was there—almost there. She would never be there.

I couldn’t stand there any longer.

I went back to the bar.

It was Friday night and Y/N did not appear.

When I met Jaeyhun again, it was too late. I had taken the decision to flee from that life, away from the darkness that had engulfed me. He was sitting on his – our – usual spot, his back now to the entrance. It confused me because he would always be the one looking ahead to the entrance, waiting for me.

Three weeks had passed since the last time I saw him. Apart from me being too bruised to walk, I was not mentally ready to face him and lie to him. Lie. Lie. Lie. My heart nearly jumped out of my throat when I saw him, the outline of his neck, his wide shoulders. The darkness of his hair, cut perfectly but styled messily. I stopped.

I felt like meeting him for the first time. I felt scared all over again. I felt nervous. I felt nauseous. Jaehyun. His name threatened to escape from my mouth in a form of a sigh. Even when I knew he shouldn’t, even when I had pushed him away from meeting so many times, disappeared, re-appeared, lied. It felt like the first time meeting him, although there was a big difference now.

I made my way toward the table. He did not hear my steps. My hand slowly found its way to his shoulder, and I could feel him tense under my touch. The few times our skin has touched, I have always received the same reaction. His eyes darted down to his glass of wine; he did not look up. I knew why—I felt ashamed. For him, I had spent two hours in front of my mirror trying to conceal any leftover trace of the jealousy that had conquered my home years ago. For him I had painted my lips red; for him, I had practiced my smile and my words; for him, I had cried all my tears before taking a step outside of the house.

I sat down, he did not look up. My heart skipped a beat. I knew it was too late.

“Once I told you I had important things to say,” I said quietly, he nodded in response, “and I know what they are now, although it might be too late.” His breathing was not even, and he was nervous. Another sip. The glass was suddenly empty. He didn’t wait for me to continue before turning around and raising his hand to the waiter, two fingers up, two more glasses coming our way. I was silent until our order came. He drank, and finally, he looked up at me.

“I am sorry I wasted so much time waiting for you,” he spoke quietly, “when I should’ve been looking out for you.”

“That would’ve been the worst situation.”

He took another sip. He hated himself—I hated myself even more, for making him see me like this, how I really am, what I really am. The misery I’ve felt for the last four years crept onto my neck, my hair, my head.

“I’ve been trapped—I am, still,” I said. He nodded in response. “Trapped in my own life, and even if I wanted, I wouldn’t be able to reach you, let you take me away with you.” He nodded again. His head hung low. “I am ashamed of myself, Jaehyun.”

It wasn’t explicit. He didn’t need explicit. I had left one bruise on my forearm without concealing it. I have left it for him to see, the surface of the situation. “You shouldn’t.” He said back. I knew—but I couldn’t afford to not be ashamed, not now that I am what I have always feared.

“Wherever I looked, I always saw you. On each surface, on each ad. Women passed by me on the street and my brain tricked me every time into believing it was you.” He held his breath and so did I.

I wanted to apologize again. Bring me down to my knees, bow my head low for him.

“It’s not your fault.”

His words took me out of my imagination. Reality shocked me to the core. It’s not your fault. His words repeated over and over again inside my brain, burning deep down, burning into ashes. But it is, I wanted to scream. It is. It is. His eyes never left mine. My mouth never opened. Not a single sound. “It’s not your fault, Y/N.” He spoke.

“You don’t know—”

“I don’t need to.”

I finished the alcohol in my glass. He didn’t know. He shouldn’t know. He was good—Jaehyun was not him. Jaehyun was not mad, he was never mad. Jaehyun would understand if she left. Jaeyhun always understood when she disappeared. “I’ve come here tonight to…” I repeated the sentence I had running inside my mind for the past three weeks, “to say goodbye.”

He was silent and suddenly the noise that filled the bar that we were so used to being in vanished. It was him and me. Me and him. His eyes were on my lips. My tears were in his hands. He was there, finally—I have wished for him for years. I have dreamt with him, for him. I have fought for him, because of him. I have made stupid things; I have dug my own grave.

“You don't want to.”

He was hurt when he said that. His voice broke. I broke.

“You haven’t even kissed me yet, and you want to say goodbye?” he laughed, out of sadness. I couldn’t bare to look at him anymore. Because he was right, I didn’t want to—but I didn’t want to live scared, scarred, for the rest of my life either. I didn’t want to bring him down with me, down the spiral of self-destruction I have created. I didn’t want to snatch away from him the years he had left to find happiness for himself.

I have burnt all the bullets. He has the gun still loaded.

Even if we wanted to, we couldn’t be on the same page.

“I’m sorry.”

“No—you’re not,” he whispered. He was not mad. He spoke his mind. His words were harsh. But still, there wasn’t a hint of him being mad.

Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun.

Mind screamed for my hands to reach out to him. Let him hold me. Let him take all the pain away. Please, Jaehyun.

“I am,” I said back.

“You don’t have anything to apologize… at least to me. But…” he stopped. “If there is someone you ought to apologize to, is yourself.”

I stopped breathing. The tears burnt inside my eyes. I had to close them, cage them. But the more I insisted, the more they burnt, the fire spreading down my throat and reaching my lungs, imprisoning the air. It was hard to breathe.

“Y/N,” he was demanding, he was begging. “Y/N.” It hurt, listening to my own name slip was his lips. “Where is that girl you talked about? The one obsessed with life—with the passion that came with being alive?” he questioned me, it hurt. “Where is that girl that you talked about? Find her, Y/N.” His words stabbed me. It was impossible—

“Find her, Y/N, before you let yourself die,” and with each word, his knuckles turned whiter, his fist on top of the table, “before you apologize to me from your grave, for leaving me, again. Find her.”

I wanted to speak back. I wanted to tell him that she was no longer here. I wanted to—I couldn’t. Jaehyun. His eyes burnt holes in my face, I felt as if I was disintegrating. I knew I loved him—Jaehyun. I knew before I came tonight, that it was too late to love him. He, as well, had gathered hate.

“Jaehyun.”

And a tear slipped down his cheek as well. It glistened under the dim lights of the bar. We were still surrounded by people, but it was us. Only us. Only our memories together, only the minutes we have shared, only the seconds we have left.

That was the last time I saw her before years rushed by trying to bury her face in the depths of my memory. She was right, she came to say goodbye. She left. She disappeared. She did not come back, not to me at least.

How many years have passed since I burned my last shot with her? Maybe ten, maybe fifteen. Every day I went to the bar. Every day I sat and waited, lonely, surrounded by my nostalgia, silently crying while drowning in many, many, glasses filled to the rim with the disgusting liquor that somehow managed to blur her face from my memory.

Although it hurt to lose her completely, I managed to stand up again. I picked up the pieces, held them together, and I glued them to one another even if they didn’t fit. I refused to be held to my knees for her — for the girl whom I have never really met, for her ghost. I left the bar one day and I didn’t come back. I turned my back to the place, to her, to our memories, and to myself. I moved. I disappeared. I followed her steps, never knowing where the road led. I tried to not rot, I tried to make myself a great man. I survived, without her, without the part of me that she held forever.

And I did. It consumed me, just as I have predetermined she would do even before meeting her for the last time. Because I knew— there was no one else to blame but myself. That last time I saw her I held her in my arm, and let myself indulge in that little moment we had created for ourselves, the last moment we would share together. I remember her scent. I remember her hands holding tight to my arms, her fingers trembling. She did not want to let me go, and yet she did. She did not want to draw me to her madness, and yet she did. She did not want to hurt me, and yet, she killed a part of me that would never revive.

And, although all that happened, I managed to get up from my knees.

I couldn’t hold myself hostage in the past while grasping onto the thin threat that held the idea of her coming back to me.

I also let her go.

The years have passed and I sigh as I make my way to the kindergarten where my children await for me to pick them up. I walk slowly, thinking about all the tasks we have for today. I think about my wife, such a lovely girl, such a respectful woman, and such a responsible mother. I think about her, and my heart aches. Because I love her— I do love her. But I am not obsessed with her, with her existence, her passion. She has never had her lips painted deep red. She has never had me waiting for her, she was always early. She never kept her mysteries to herself, she shared her life with me.

I loved her and yet— I don’t.

I pass by a bookshop. The path I take every afternoon is the same. I’ve been to that bookshop many times before. I’ve shopped there, and I’ve spent evenings with my kids looking for the right book for nighttime. And yet I stop, my feet suddenly forget how to move. Because she was there— her face was there. Her eyes were there. Her red lips were on the cover. It was both improbable and impossible. I had given up on the idea to see her again years ago. She looked at me, right at me. Her picture draws me in. I stepped inside the bookshop.

Without giving it a second thought I pick up the books.

It’s not your fault, it’s the title. She’s holding onto a glass of wine, and I recognize the surroundings of the photo. The dim lights and the chairs were where they used to spend every night when they saw each other. She was in their reserved seats. The entrance was behind her. It felt like I have been the one taking the photo.

Years have passed, and they left a mark behind. She had wrinkles, she was thinner, and her cheekbones were way prominent now. Her bare shoulders showed in the photo, and more than one scar was recognizable. Time was not kind to everyone but to her— time did not exist. She glowed, she still had the magnet that pulled me in. I held the book and my mind drifted back in time to when I would wait for her, for hours, for days, and for weeks.

“Jaehyun?” The voice of the lady who works there takes me out of the trance, the little bubble that appeared again after so many years of living like a mortal. I turn to look at her, stunned, pale probably. She smiles and nods towards the stack of books with her face on them. With Y/N smiling at me. “It’s the new best-seller, a biography by a survivor of domestic violence,” she explains, “but I don’t think Mariko will like that kind of book.” She’s talking about my wife. She believes I want to buy that book for my wife. Oh, how naïve she actually was.

“Thank you,” I mumble and turn around to look at the book between my hands again.

Slowly I open the first page.

I’ve been waiting for you, J. I want you to know that it is not your fault I left.

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