#its officially wedding season bitches

[sassykattery]

Celebrations of the Heart, Pt. 8

Let the celebration continue.

CW: MC is afab, uses she/her pronouns. MC is a demon and poly. Use of gendered language and terms of endearment

Themes: Birthday. Romance. DiavoloxMC.

Characters: MC="you", Diavolo, mention Barbatos, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Simeon, Solomon

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Masterlist

Enjoy~

-8pm-

You looked out, not recognizing where you were at first. After a few moments, you realized you were under the gazebo in the palace garden, looking out to the lake. Normally, you were at the shore with the rest of the gardens. It was peaceful, the sky was bright and full of twinkling stars.

"MC," you heard a warm, tenor voice call to you, one of elegance, airs of grace, and sincerity.

"Diavolo," you replied, not moving at first. Very slowly, you turned, and there he stood at the top of the gazebo steps, hand on the rail. He was in a black suit and burgundy overcoat. To you, he looked as charming as he did on your first date with him, and you felt warm thinking of that night.

"My love," he said with a heart-warming smile. Carefully, he approached, looking you over, admiring your outfit as well. He finally stood within a foot of you, and you stared at each other for some time.

He then took your hands in his and said, "Happy Birthday," before kissing your hands. His golden eyes sparkled in the darkness, like molten gold and flecks of shimmer dazzling in the moonlight.

"Thank you," you replied softly.

"You look... breathtaking," he stated, enthralled by you. He brought your hand up, and you took your cue to twirl, the dress sparkling like a million stars. At the end of your twirl, he brought you in close, leaning down to graze his nose against yours.

Finally, his lips found yours, and he tasted the delicious gloss on your lips, combined with your already intoxicating scent and natural taste. A stifled noise burned in his throat as he desperately wanted to ravish you in this moment. He was withholding, though. Such things could wait. Hopefully.

"Have a seat," he said after breaking the kiss. He gestured to the bench and sat next to you. "Have you had a good day? Tell me about it," he said, taking your hands into his once more.

"Ah, well, it's been interesting," you replied playfully. "Belphie took me to the new space exhibit, Levi and I did karaoke at our favorite bar, Barbatos and I had tea, Solomon took me to the human world to watch the sun rise, Satan and I had coffee and read a book together, Asmo and I had a spa day," you said, before taking a breath to continue. This made Diavolo laugh heartily. "And then Beel treated me to lunch, Simeon and I made cupcakes, and Mammon took me shopping," you recounted.

"An interesting day indeed," Diavolo chuckled, shaking his head. "But I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself. To be honest, I missed you all day. It was hard to stay away. However, it's been worth it to see how well everything has gone. I'm happy to see you so happy," he replied.

"Actually, I think it's well deserved considering you all ditched me yesterday, and then I had to be kidnapped by Barbatos," you retorted hotly. This made your lover laugh again.

"I'm sorry, my dear, we had to spend all day yesterday making preparations for today, and we didn't want you to find out about it," he replied. "Barbatos told me you put up a good fight, however, so color me impressed," he added. You rolled your eyes and giggled.

He came close to you again, his face just inches from yours.

"So, what are we doing for our allotted time?" you asked.

"Ah..." is all that came out for several seconds. "I suppose I should give you my gift now," he finally stated.

"You don't have to," you replied, cupping his cheek. "We can just sit and talk."

Diavolo smiled and kissed your palm, bringing your hand down. "You'll see in a moment," is all he said.

He reached below the bench and retrieved a package wrapped with glittering black wrapping paper, with a red bow tied around it.

"Well, this is the first one that's been wrapped. It finally feels like my birthday," you joked, and the prince chuckled.

Carefully, you pulled one tab of the bow, and it came apart. Gently, you pulled the wrapping paper away and were left with a book. You raised an eyebrow, recognizing the seal on the cover. Upon opening it, you read through the pages, not speaking before figuring out why he was giving you this. You had read all these pages before, not noticing any changes.

After several moments, you finally landed on the last written page.

"It is written with accordance to the law that humans may marry demons and therein hold all rights and benefits given within the marriage in the boundaries of the Devildom."

A few lines down, there was one more exerpt.

"It is written with accordance to a new law that marriages between more than two individuals are seen as valid and accepted, holding all rights and benefits given within the marriage in the boundaries of the Devildom."

You stopped, staring at the last paragraph, rereading it over and over again. Slowly, you looked up at Diavolo. He stared back at you with equally intense eyes.

"This is my gift to you," he stated. "I wanted to give you something meaningful. I've been working on it while you've been studying. I had hoped this would cheer you up–"

You gently placed the book down as he spoke and then crashed your lips into his, interrupting him, with your hands immediately gripping his rusted red locks. Without unlocking your lips from his, you scooted onto his lap and cradled his head in your hands as his hands purchased your waist. When you sniffed, Diavolo pulled away to look at you.

"I love you so much, Diavolo," you whispered breathlessly, trying to swallow back the emotion in your voice. You pressed your forehead to his. "You've given me so much; I don't even know where to begin. I-I-" You couldn't fight the sob that escaped. "I don't know how I can ever repay you."

"Darling..." he murmured, running his hand over your chest and stopping at your heart. "You gave me everything when you said forever, now I'm just keeping my end of the deal, to make you happy." He cupped your jaw with his other hand and brought you in for another kiss. Both of you burned with red hot desire, the coils in your abdomens screaming for you to take each other.

His hand left your jaw and chest, and he pushed you off his lap so both of you could stand. He swept you into a dancing pose, holding one set of hands out and his other hand on your waist. You two swayed to your own music, the rhythm of your heart songs.

"Diavolo," you suddenly murmured. He looked at you. "I want to marry you."

"You... You do?" he asked, his eyes widening.

You nodded. "I do. I want to be your queen, but I also want to be your wife. Do... do you want to marry me?"

Diavolo's hand gently cupped the back of your head, and he pressed his forehead against yours. "More than anything in this world do I want to be your husband. It would be my absolute privilege."

"Then... it's official, we're getting married," you mumbled, tears threatening to spill over as you gazed up at him.

"My love..." he murmured, kissing you sweetly. "I'm so happy to hear this. And it's not even my birthday," he teased.

You lightly chuckled in response and kissed him in return. Only you two existed in this slice of paradise, and it went on for a while. Quiet "I love yous" were exchanged as you two swayed. Everything was perfect.

Until Diavolo finally spoke up.

"My time is up, but I'll see you very shortly," he murmured.

"I don't want you to go," you whimpered, pushing yourself into him. He chuckled.

"As I said, you'll see me momentarily. There's someone else here to see you," he said. He quickly turned you around, and you saw no one around. Quickly, you turned back around, but Diavolo was also gone, and it was just you and your thoughts again.

"MC," a sultry, deep voice called out to you, one layered with what could only be desire and need from what you could remember.

You let the visitor walk up to you without looking for yourself, feeling his presence directly behind you. A bare hand went over your eyes, just barely touching your face. You could feel his breath tickling your neck and fluttering your tendrils. His other hand started at your shoulder, fingertips grazing down your sleeve. When his hand met yours, a small box was slipped into your grasp, and you held it tight.

His presence pulled away, as did the hand covering your eyes, and you brought the small box up to view it. It was a midnight blue satin covered box. Carefully you opened it, only to gasp and jolt when you looked inside.

---

Thank you for reading <3

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

Tags: @delphi-dreamin @itsmeninerz @leavesandflowers @obeymediasimp @marvelous-maniac @flemmingbamse @frozengoldie

#obey me #obey me shall we date #sassywrites #sassystories #obey me fanfic #love-eternal #obey me diavolo #diavolo x femreader #are we ready #its officially wedding season bitches #lets gooooooooo #this was definitely self-indulgent #oh well #you're welcome

[falconcoast]

when you come home | childe x reader

masterlist

your boyfriend, ajax, has been away in liyue for three years. even though his letters stop, you still hold faith. no matter how long it takes, your ajax will come home to you. 

a/n: happy bday to my favorite bloodthirsty backhanded bitch. since i’m reading the illiad and the odyssey rn, somewhat inspired by odysseus coming home to penelope

warnings; alcohol, slight angst that goes to fluff

it is your boyfriend’s birthday today.

it has also been officially 1000 days since ajax left for liyue harbor today.

almost three calendars have been torn since he left, with each day marked with a black x. the current one sits hopelessly by your framed photos together, by the window where snow gathers day in and day out.

you remember exactly when he left. the day after teucer’s birthday, he was called to zapolyarny palace and was notified to start packing for the harbor. there was hardly any time to say your goodbyes, but he promised to come back as soon as possible. he boarded that ship, leaving you with a kiss on the cheek and a promise of a wedding when he came back home.

you wondered when he would fulfill that promise. it had been almost three years since he had last left, and unlike what romance novels would suggest, love letters could not replace his physical presence. the news of a crisis in liyue harbor between the archon, morax, and the fatui made you even more worried. since then, you hadn’t received a letter from ajax, and you were becoming despondent. not even the piles of foreign gifts or bags of mora he got you could compensate.

his family down the street had received similar treatment from him as well: sparse letters, plenty of gifts, and no word of when he was coming back home. ajax’s youngest siblings were all blissfully unaware of what he was doing in liyue, simply thinking he was away on a big business trip. but to his older siblings, his parents, and yourself, you knew that no business trip could last three years.

in his absence, you were faced with a variety of questions about his whereabouts. your friends wondered what kind of boyfriend would leave you by yourself for three years. your family wondered when he would finally get introduced as their son-in-law, and not as “y/n’s boyfriend who was out of town”. you were set up on multiple dates with suitors who asked for your hand, only to be turned away without a second look.

maybe you were hopelessly stubborn about him, you thought as you looked at the small stack of letters you had received from him on your desk. since snezhnaya has always been a nation that emphasizes the importance of the military, you had heard horror stories of soldiers deploying while their widows waited for the rest of their lives for their impossible return. but ajax was different. he was coming back, and he was yours, and you wouldn’t take some cheap substitute while you waited.

a soft knock came at your door. when you open it, you smile despite the flakes coming in. ajax’s younger brother, teucer, stands before you, in a heavy coat and thick, red scarf. “hello, teucer,” you greet with a small wave. “are you here to play today? mr. cyclops is always more than welcome in my house.”

shaking his head, he smiles. “not today, y/n!” he chirps. “my parents want you to come over for dinner tonight. it’s big brother’s birthday!”

looking at your calendar, you read the date: july 20. you nearly forgot that it was your boyfriend’s birthday today! quickly taking a coat off of its rack, you bundle up before following teucer.

ajax’s birthday has always been accompanied by pleasant weather. it’s in the middle of the mild season, where most days are sunny with minor snow storms. the evening weather reflected that, as the sunset was tangerine orange and blush pink. standing in front of his house, the scent of warm soup wafted out the open front door. despite the new, large house (courtesy of ajax’s hefty salary), his family made it seem as homey as the log cabin they used to live in.

walking in, you were welcomed by his family. a cake sat in the middle of the dining room table, with about two dozen candles flickering in the evening light. the soup was passed around, along with freshly caught fish from the frozen lake. you exchange amiably conversation with teucer, anton, and tonia. still, it didn’t feel like a birthday party without the birthday boy.

as the conversations lulled, everyone stared at the cake. standing, you look at each of ajax’s family members. “well, it’s been three years since ajax has been gone. while it’s unfortunate that he can be here for his birthday, i hope he enjoys it, wherever it is. and i hope that he can come home soon.” his family cheers to that, with his father raising a glass of liquid fire. his older siblings bobbed their heads in agreement, while the younger ones crowded around the cake beside you.

nodding solemnly, you turn around to look at the cake. before you could process what was happening, a voice pipes up behind you. “you weren’t planning on blowing out those candles without me, were you?”

gasping, your hand came over your mouth instantly. turning around, you locked eyes with your lover. “big brother!” teucer squealed first, racing over. anton and tonia follow shortly after, collapsing him onto the ground.

you could only watch with teary eyes as he greeted each member of his family: a kiss on the cheek from his mother, a hug from his father, and a shot of alcohol with his older siblings. by the time he approaches you, you’re a mess. the tears fall down easily now, along with soft hiccups.

“hi, love,” he says with a soft voice. he kisses away your tears as you cling onto his shirt, still crying. when you touch his face, when you count his freckles, when you can feel his dimple under your fingertips, you know that he is real. chastely, you kiss him on the lips. he grins. no more words need to be said: he’s home.

when you calm down, he takes you by the waist. swiftly, he blows out the candles in one puff. teucer clings onto his shoulder, practically shaking the soul out of him. “what’d you wish for?!”

“well…” he smiles, reaching into his back pocket. out pops a shiny golden ring, studded with a chiseled jewel. “about that wedding, i promised you…”

#childe x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #tartaglia x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact childe

[fyodorloveclub]

Hi my favorite little horn-dog it’s me again, anemic dick anon back with more Fyodor things. Okay so I was going through my favorited on TikTok and that’s when I came upon this:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRmYwdMV/

(I hope the link works)

Anyways and it got me thinking! And specifically about Fyodor in this situation. Like imagine in an Au where he’s somewhat not as psychotic and has a decently normal life…as a priest! And for those who don’t know priest aren’t allowed to have any romantic relationships or encounters. But than he meets you. Oh boy does his little world get turned on its head, because you’re this big ball of everything he loves, even though you’re none-religious or come from a different religion. A small part of him can’t help but slowly fall for you as you visit even if it’s just to be a bother. You ignite his old interests, like philosophy, the cello, movies, and coding. All of these things he didn’t have to give up or quite fully did for priesthood but he wanted to be fully devote. He gave up so much of himself for his passion.

Than you came in like it was nothing and he had to fall for you. He had to give you a hug, he had to walk with you to the grocery store and hear about your day. He had to sit in the confessional room and watch you go through a plethora of emotions describing the movie you just watched and asked him to come watch with you. He just had to fall for your smile, and stupid jokes and dumb theories oh, and your god awful cello playing skills.

He stays awake at night thinking about what you’re doing and how you’re feeling, when you’re going to come back to visit. How he wants to show you just one time him playing cello. He wants to show you his collection of books and a random toy he bought at the story because it reminded him of you, not that he’d admit it.

It’s hard to fall for someone, especially for him. So as much as he loves you he prays to God, Mary, Saints, Angels, another random toy he bought because he thought of you; that you will reject him, so he won’t have to destroy everything he’s worked for, so he doesn’t have to give up something that he’s surrounded his entire life around. He questioned so much of his faith since he’s met you and he can’t help but pray even more and confess his doubts; And his prayers are answered! You’ve met a guy, and you slowly starts to see you fall for him, Fyodor sees it in your eyes and body language, how you seem to blush when you hear a ping from your phone, which you usually have turned off with him. And just to top it off you’re getting married to the special guy Osamu Dazai. Fyodor isn’t a fan but he sees the way he looks at you and how you look at him and he can’t help but have a bittersweet taste in his mouth.

You asked him to officiate the wedding. It’s a beautiful wedding. It took everything in him not to object and confess his feelings to you, even if you were never to reciprocate them and he’d ruin this happy day for you. But he can’t, because he gave you up right? You looked so beautiful, ethereal, and Fyodor swears to this day you rivaled God in all of your beauty. He really wanted to have faith in the being he gave his life to but if God existed than why would he make him fall for you? And only to have you taken away? I think Fyodor still confesses to God how much he still loves you.

-anemic dick anon

Lol angst is something I love clearly. this isn’t a request but if you’d like to add on please do so! Making people cry and be like “why would you say that” gives me life…just a little bit.

NO THIS IS SOOOOOOOO GOOD this is like literally the plot of season 2 of fleabag i love it

i dont feel like this needs anything added on its very well fleshed out bestie its great

"You looked so beautiful, ethereal, and Fyodor swears to this day you rivaled God in all of your beauty. He really wanted to have faith in the being he gave his life to but if God existed than why would he make him fall for you?" BITCH GO WRITE A BOOK OR SOMETHING THATS FUCKING FANTASTIC DKLSFJKLASDKLJS;KJF;LD

like this is so interesting and would make for such a good fic thank u for sending this in omg

#also i changed you to 🪱 anon fklfjlkd #🪱 demon #{ musings; fyodor } #faves #voices in my head

[allkinds-oftrash]

The Crown S5E10 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Review: That was so underwhelming. It just sealed to me what an uneventful season this was. I feel like Peter Morgan only went off on Ep 3, 4 then 7 to 9 then called it a day. I don’t know what exactly went behind the scenes to make him chicken out of going full on with the punches like he did in S4. Anyways here’s my live reactions as I watched it but I’m too annoyed to do a proper season review so lemme direct yall to my lovely mutual @mermaidsirennikita Caro’s post that outlined everything I felt about the season (I do disagree on some points but I’ll cover that in my post tomorrow or something when I’m done being mad - also hi Caro its viscountessevie’s side acc lol) 

Spoilers Under The Cut

Dodi and Mohammed!! I've missed them Shksjs Dodi is officially an LA producer Not him bidding against Michael Douglas for a house

The way I really thought it was gonna be Diana 🤡🤡 But it's just Barbara Gordan Sr (Erin Richards played her in Gotham) bdjdjdk

LMAOOO DIANA VOTING NO FOR THE MONARCHY Isn't this a lie tho?? I'm pretty sure she wanted William on the throne eventually... Oh well fiction wise it's fucking funny This voting scene is brilliant I love it so much What a great cold open!

(I forgot I watched the cold open last night before falling asleep and am rewatching this bit again for my commentary and GOD IT'S EVEN MORE HILARIOUS A SECOND TIME)

Oooh it's Lizzie's birthday Lmaoo not her getting gag gifts from everyone BUT CHARLES Between the boring ass book he got for Di and this, he really is the worst gift giver huh Not Chucky being jealous of Pedodrew's stupid gift Damn Charles really is a masochistic always watching these programs that make him upset Lmaooo not Edward and Pedodrew taking the piss out of him

God Queen Mother shut the fuck up you racist bitch "The Great Chinese Takeaway" 🙄 For fuck's sake and everyone laughing. God fuck these racist asses. Yeah this might be a fictional scene but YOU KNOW these bitches have said worse things behind closed doors. I cannot WAIT til the Queen Mother dies; she's so insufferable. Yall did not compare the liberation of a former colony to an ex attending a wedding jfc yall are the worst Charles is gonna fuck up the Hong Kong trip just watch

Random tangent but Fly Like An Eagle is on Glen Powell (Hangman in the Top Gun sequel)'s playlist for his character and now there's a plane while the song is playing, I fully expected Glen to come out of that plane why am I like this 💀💀

Anyways hiii Dodi what a cutie Is Barbara Gordan Sr playing his wife? Nope she is not. Who is Kelly?? Why do we need to know her Is this scene necessary Peter Morgan?? OH?? HE'S SLEEPING WITH HIS ACTRESS?? Dodi wtf don't be one of those gross producers Oh wait is that his fiancee he dropped for Diana oop Also why did I think she was his ex wife that happened way back in the 80s dhdjkd I'm sorry but I did not need to see that scene lmao it could have been an email Dodi really has a type huh Ew he's doing coke God he really became a Hollywood cliche huh I mean I never knew much about him so I can't say if this is accurate or not but if it is, bro why did you become a Hollywood cliche

I never followed Tony Blair's politics but we like him right?? In that case, Charles you're nothing like him How has the second Mrs. Al Fayed not aged at all 👁👄👁 It's been at least a good 7 years since Ep 3

Don't be fucking crude Mou Mou Let them speak their native language Kelly Yeah it's rude but you're giving White Woman rn djdkkdkd Heini is right lmaooo Okay actually they did do well with her make up to age her a little

WHAT?? His only talent is women??? "One day you'll hit the jackpot"???? What does that meannnn Mou Mou Peter Morgan are you implying Dodi was a golddigger omg This is so uncomfortable pls Kelly is like ???

Damnn let's go Labour Party let's gooo Ohmygod that's Tony Blair?? Huh the one time the irl person is more attractive 💀💀 the actor is fine but Tony Blair was a DILF back in the day come on

Tell me why I feel sad John Major lost 😭😭😭 He was just so nice this season dhkdjd Lmao this historians convo is so meta especially since Peter seems to have a bias for John Major and have given him a hot actor and made him really chill and cool this season Lmaooo Lizzie you did not just say he's your favourite PM LOL bro it's fine the Brittiana is old af time to decomission her

"The youngest Prime Minister since Lord Liverpool in 1812" WELL Rishi Sunak is coming for that title 25 years later yall "And you're still a young man too" LIZZIE STOP LYING HE'S GOT A FULL HEAD OF WHITE HAIR Johnny Lee Miller playing him doesn't make him less old djdkkd

Can you imagine if the note to Blair had said "GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN" lmaooo Johnnn why you lying "A great job" as if you didn't spend this season just babysitting the royals

This boat nonsense plot line is so fucking stupid and pointless. Peter Morgan THIS could have been an email. I do not care for this shit at all They just sound like rich brats which we already knew they were So you could have used another example to show that

NEW BRITAIN SHDJJDJS This is so stupid omg It's just a fucking boat Lizzie let it go

Like I get sentimentality and all but don't anchor (pun absolutely intended) yourself and your sense of self worth to a old piece of metal Like That I would be alot more sympathetic (because we all have sentimental things tied to our memories)1 if they weren't old rich white people who caused so much pain whining about a luxary no one else can afford and expecting the government to keep funding it

HAHAHHAH HE'S IN BUSINESS WHILE THE REST ARE IN FIRST CLASS PLEASEEEE I CACKLED "You're going to have to be very brave" 💀 Camilla it's just business class yall need to calm the fuck down

What the fuck is this visual Mans is not left out of anything This visual metaphor falls so fucking flat when he's literally usually the one drawing the curtain on people Peter Morgan what are you doing

Omggg the Cantonese burning the British flag What icons They're so right for THAT

Okay Heini has grown on me Girlie really grew into her place in the Fayed family huh Good for her "You were so much more than a model. You were a socialite" MOU MOU WHAT This is so cringey pls

I have gone 20 mins after the cold open without Diana WHERE IS SHE Oh lmao here she is I missed you bby Awww her friendship with Mou Mou is everything I wanna h u g her Her voice is always on point I'm shook

God the flashes give me such anxiety The foreshadowing really gives me the deepest pit in my stomach Oh gosh the offer to Saint Topaz,,, the beginning of the end 😭😭 I don't want her to goooo Yeah Elizabeth took a few eps but she finally grew into the role as Diana we love to see it!

We hate Charles but damn doesn't Dominic look good in a uniform God I hate it here Also booo let Hong Kong be it's own country just passing it off to another country I can't even I get so anxious seeing the rainfall on everyone's head they're gonna catch a cold Dominic lost the Charles voice, it needs to be steeper bud

Charles don't be fucking weird Why did you link the ages to her relatives and husband and now son Don't say it Nope yall are not brothers stfu He said it 🤡 Welll he made Blair say it

Lmaooo Blair sick of the yacht talk too hsjjdkd Why do you feel bad sir?? Bruh it's just a boat 💀

YALL JUST GOT DIVORCED A YEAR AGO - Chill the fuck out Chucky Lmaoo Blair is right he was going behind Lizzie's back and briefing against her They always do this They brief against one another It's messy af

The amount of Charles cocksucking happening in this episode is gross Peter Morgan WHAT did he threaten you with Why are you trying to make him out to be this modern innovative man Was he??? Was he really??? Charles so self serving I cannot LMAO NOT CAMILLA WITH THE KNOCK OFF REVENGE DRESS YOU WILL NEVER BE HER

"Friendly invasion" Okayyy China whatever helps you sleep at night

Helloooo Martin,,, I really am a simp for Martin huh. Listen this season hasn't given me a single person in the main Royals other than Diana to feel anything for So Martin's hotness it is I can't believe I'm saying this: but Lizzie should have said No 😭😭 Martin snitching on Chucky hsjdjdk She's gonna TEAR HIM APART

There's 12 minutes left and this is such an unimpressive finale wtf Peter Morgan bruh what are you doinggg I told myself I won't follow press after the mess than is the Bridgerton production team But I NEED to know what Peter was thinking outlining this season The potential was there and yet it flopped Only Eps 3, 7 to 9 were solid episodes

Lmaooo affair "Divorced man whose wife is still alive" I'M SCREAMING Can't believe I'm agreeing with Charles abt his rls rn Oh never mind fuck you Charles No one brought up Diana why you gotta drag her name through the mud K Chucky sureee Camilla has Did their spin doctor write this episode??

SCREAMS "I don't think it's my behaviour threatening its (the monarchy) survival" Rip him apart harder Lizzie come onnn Yesss throw the whole monarchy away Yeah they yeeted yall cos you OPPRESSED THEM FOR 50 YEARS, idiots

I feel nothing for this stupid ship and her farewell God this is so depressing and underwhelming This ep should have just been the cold open only tbh If you aren't gonna commit to the end of the Diana era then leave it all completely to S6 which is so disappointing, I thought they were finish Diana's story this season I was mentally prepared for that And now I gotta be sick again worrying about it and then mentally prepare for it again before S6

That's it??? That was so underwhelming???

40 mins of white people whining abt their boat and losing a country to independence Then 15 mins of Diana's death foreshadowing?? 5 mins of Dodi being a Hollywood producer cliche and Mou Mou being a dick to Kelly??

That's all??? Bruhhhh

#The Crown #The Crown Season 5 #The Crown Spoilers

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 ‘TED MADE IT! IM SO HAPPY! YAY TEDDY AND EMMETT ADVENTURE TIME!!! Damn it, so everyone is in couples except Brian and Justin. Why couldn’t Brian go with Justin to LA? This sucks’ ‘oh wow Lindsay is really a fucking bitch. I get the worry though but holy shit what the fuck happened to her? I hate this shit. Throw them both away’ he is so annoyed with Lindsay and Melanie that he is currently repeating the words ‘break up’ over and over. They break up: ‘I TOLD YALL THIS SHIT LIKE TWO SEASONS AGO. FUCKING FINALLY now lets go to Brian and Justin’ ben and michael got engaged ‘man, they’re really stealing the spotlight, huh? DUDE. THIS IS NOT THE TIME. Stealing Debbies shine. Rude.’ And Justin is officially in LA ‘so he went to LA? When? What? Huh? This looks like that party at that club dudes place. I still don’t like this director guy. I hate this. Okay be honest, who is this actor Connor supposed to be? Tom Cruise? Or? He better not get in a way of my two boys or I’m fighting every person who wrote this show.‘ and the gang made it to Toronto ‘so this is like a play on that toronto is like Gay Pittsburgh? This does look like Woodys. BRIAN! OH MY GOD ITS BRIAN! Okay pause *stops tv AGAIN* listen. Remember how Brian reacted to Hunters handjob thingy? Pair that up with Hunters reaction to Brian explaining planes to Mike. BAM! Uncle and nephew duo! I love these two. I can’t believe i didnt think he wouldnt go to canada with a plane. That makes the most sense in the whole show. HE’S RIDING! THE RIDE! Wait stop. *pauses tv AGAIN!* so let me get this right? He found out from Mike that Justin was wanted in LA and his immediate reaction when realizing that Justin is turning it down is to lie about not doing the ride so that Justin wouldn’t sacrifice his future? What the fuck? I mean i know he cares about his future *looks at me and smiles* thats kinda the hottest part about him. But this is UGH. AW BRI AND EM HUGGED! AND HES SMILING! I AM SO HAPPY THAT HE IS FINALLY HAPPY BUT HELL, BLONDIE IS MISSING’ ‘i forgot how much Brian hates marriages. Im kinda surprised that they went that extra with it. Id get if he hated it for himself but others? I feel like he would be more of a minding my own business kinda person. Like me. *looks at me like he’s really proud of himself* me and Brian are clearly the same person because i know my bri bri.’ And we are back to LA ‘i dont know why but i really hate this. Like it’s weird. I love Blondie and the idea of his career becoming huge is awesome but this is just eh. (Justin says his ‘fucking’ line in the meeting) OH MY GOD. I FUCKING LOVE HIM LIKE THIS! PLEASE BLONDIE NEVER CHANGE! This kinda reminds me of when Brian said to Debbie that being a true american is getting fucked in the ass when they went to vote. They really are made for each other’ Mikey/Ben’s wedding is on ‘WHAT THE FUCK?! ALREADY? Awww Brian is his best man! No matter how he feels about stuff, he still cares the most about his friends. *points to tv* BRIAN IS THROWING THE CONFETTI! HES HAPPY FOR THEM BUT HE HAS TO BE GRUMPY AT TIMES. MY BABY HAS GROWN SO MUCH!’ ‘I just realized that Brian missed lindsays wedding and Blondie missed this one. They really cant be together. What the fuck is wrong with writers? Why do they hate them?’ And the Ride has officially started ‘AW BRIAN IS GONNA KICK ASS! Debbie is his mother! Why am i getting emotional by this, i already knew it? This wouldve been better with Blondie but GO BRI BRI! I AM ROOTING FOR YOU!!! We should do something like this. You think its hard? We could have little pride flags on it like Ted! DID YOU SEE BRIS SMILE AT THE END? He tries to act tough but damn it, he really is finally happy, isnt he? If only fucking LA didn’t ruin it. But it’s okay, we got one more episode and all will be fixed!’ He is fully convinced that Brian will confess his love in the last ep. He is so sure that he sent a voice memo to family group chat AND friend group chat to let them know that the ‘i love you scene is coming up in the next episode! I’ll let you guys know how the fuck its gonna go down’

I’m with your brother - I love Brian getting excited for Mikey and Ben. He may not want marriage (loaded statement I know) but he wants to help others who do want it! Just like with Mel and Lindsay! (who are now broken up so that’s not a great example)

Brian has to go on the ride and not to LA for MANHOOD reasons. It’s stupid. It’s a dumb storyline. They could have done so much more with the history of the AIDS ride. Alas.

GAH! Work. More later!

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - The Return of the King

So we’re back to the quasi-filler stuff. This episode does set a few things up for the finale, like bringing Edmund to Corona, but none of those things are actually good and it’s still mostly filled with irrelevant shit alongside the more important stuff. 

Summary: King Edmund arrives in Corona to see his long-lost son, Eugene, and to give him the royal sash of their bloodline. Eugene wants nothing to do with him, but Rapunzel invites him to stay. Later, the sash is stolen and a ransom note is left behind. Edmund and Eugene decide to go and retrieve it. Meanwhile, the Stabbington Brothers plot revenge on Eugene as they are both viewed as a joke by the other criminals.

So How Did the Stabbingtons Escape the Prison Barge 

Last we saw them they were stuck on a prison barge along with Lady Caine and all of the other season one villains. How did they escape? Did Lady Caine or anybody else make it out? If so then where are they this season? 

We’re not going to get any of those questions answered are we? 

Man this is just sloppy continuity. Which ironic, because these two were only brought back this season because of continuity. They need to be “redeemed” so that they can be at the wedding. I guess it just sucks to be you if you’re an original villain for this show and not named Cassandra. 

Why Is This Deserving of Ridicule? 

Like...We’re talking about a world renowned thief and adventurer and his magical royal girlfriend who are well known enough outside of Corona to be mentioned and there for no doubt people know how they both defeated monsters, daemons, and several criminals besides just there two guys, right? 

This plot point makes no sense. 

You could just kick these dumbasses butts and be done with it. I doubt they’d bother picking on you again if you did.  

Did we really need even more motivation for them to want revenged against Eugene?

Rapunzel is Back to Being Her Bossy Self 

Rapunzel has not earned the role of “wise administrator” yet. She’s only been out of the tower for two years now and she has yet to prove to the audience that she has managed to learn anything since then. By jumping the gun and forcing her into a role that she hasn’t grown into, and by ignoring that this whole show started out as a coming of age story, it just makes Rapunzel unpleasant to be around. All her “advice” is just her ordering people about with a veneer of chipperness to try and mask her controlling nature. People who should know more about their own lives than she does and have no reason to listen to her.  

So We’re Showing Rapunzel Being Responsible... By Having Her Avoid Responsibility? 

Part of why the writers made her “acting queen” for the first half the season was to get her to grow into the role of becoming full time queen. However they screwed this up by not having her actually learn anything and having her avoid the real duties a queen preforms. 

What Rapunzel is doing her is just being a socialite busybody. The only administrative thing she does is approve some low-scale building plans for a small business. A thing that would have been handled by a lower official in an actual functioning government.   

Once again Rapunzel is being selfish and doing what she like, ie bossy people around while having them kiss her ass, as the real work of running the kingdom is left to someone else. This isn’t being responsible, it’s being hypocritical, but don't expect anyone to ever call Rapunzel out for this. 

Pointless Action Scene is Pointless

At this point, the low stakes action sequences are just cringe. Like is this an adventure show or not people? Stop forcing crap like this and give us some real conflicts instead.  

How Did You Get Here So Fast Edmund?

It took Rapunzel and company nearly a year to get to the Dark Kingdom. Even if Edmund wasn't delayed with pit stops like they were, it would have still taken him several months to get here by horse. 

Did he take a boat, or have four to six months already past since Rapunzel’s Return? 

I would argue that this episode was aired out of order and should have been later in the season, but Cassandra’s appearance at the end of this story, and Hamnuel’s appearances in later episodes, would suggest otherwise. 

Crap like this is why season’s three timeline doesn’t work unless you stretch everything out to two years instead of one. 

Read the Room Rapunzel

One could argue that Rapunzel is just trying to be polite, but that doesn't really hold water. 

For starters Eugene is clearly upset and has every right to want to set boundaries between himself and Edmund. Ignoring that is incredibly rude and if my significant other ever did such a thing, well they wouldn’t be my significant other for very long. 

Secondly, Rapunzel could have offered other accommodations if she felt pressured to be polite to Edmund. Not only are their lots of inns in a port town known for trade, many of which are probably well-to-do, but there’s also that convent that was mentioned back in season one. It has to be somewhere in Corona itself and as the so far only mentioned major religious organization in the country it would no doubt have stately quarters for when royalty and nobility would visit. 

So not only would it be a suitable place for a visiting king to stay in, as it would be made for such things, but it’s also far enough away that Eugene wouldn’t feel like his space is being invaded but close enough that Edmund could come and go as he pleases. 

By that point it’s still between Edmund and Eugene and Rapunzel can stay out of it, like she should. 

Eugene is Right

These are all valid reasons for cutting someone out of your life. Furthermore, you don’t even need a reason. If you don’t want to associate with somebody then just don't associate with. It’s your life. You don’t have to justify how you choose to live it and people who actually care about you should respect that. 

Unfortunately no one respects Eugene.  

Not Edmund, not Rapunzel, and most certainly not the writers. 

Then Why Don't You Get Closer to Edmund, Rapunzel?

I understand Rapunzel’s viewpoint here. Edmund is the only person she’s ever met who has experienced the same isolation that she has. He’s one of the very few people whom she can empathize with. 

However that doesn’t give her the right to force her views upon her boyfriend. If she cared so much than she could just befriend Edmund herself and leave Eugene out of it. 

Trying to encourage a child to have relationship with a parent who neglected them is super tone deaf at best and outright disrespectful at worst. It’s also highly hypocritical seeing as Rapunzel cut Gothel out of her life for similar reasons and Eugene only ever supported her for it. 

No really, flip the situation. If Eugene tried to encourage Rapunzel to give Gothel a second chance everyone would be slamming him for it. So why does Rapunzel get a free pass? 

Shorty Already Did That, Eugene. Don’t You Remember? 

I mean, you were literally right there when it happened. Are we forgetting season two the same as season one now? 

So Why Are Stan and Pete Suddenly Back, But Not Cap?

I mean we went through all that trouble in Rapunzel’s Return to write them out of the narrative and here they are without any explanation. Why are simple set ups so dang hard for this show? 

Rapunzel is Overstepping Her Bounds Here

Ok, giving Edmund a place to stay is one thing. Suggesting to Eugene that he should give Edmund a chance is not appropriate but still forgivable. But this? 

This crosses a fucking line! 

Eugene is not Rapunzel’s subject. He’s her boyfriend, and a prince in his own right. Rapunzel can’t just volunteer him for crap without his consent. That’s just indirectly ordering him about like she would a servant.  

Once again, flip the script. If Eugene tried to force Rapunzel to work with Gothel everyone would be up in arms. Why is this then deemed okay? 

This is Coercion

Not only is Edmund and Rapunzel trying to guilt trip Eugene here but she even fucking elbows him!

Like this isn’t “cute couple bickering” here. That kind of stuff is reserved only for inconsequential shit. 

This a woman trying to strong arm and guilt trip her husband to be into having a relationship with his abusive father! Because guess what? Neglect is still abuse! 

Rapunzel has zero say in Eugene and Edmund’s relationship. It’s none of her fucking business! Trying to force her into this plot just makes her look like an asshat. 

I mean look at this smug smile! The fucking bitch is proud of being a shit human being and a terrible girlfriend. 

And of course don't expect the show to call out this behavior as wrong because of out of date sexist double standards. If you think any of this is okay then just role reverse Eugene and Rapunzel here and then tell me its still alright. 

The Show Missed a Real Trick By Not Naming Him Horus Instead

Horus, the sun god, would have been a nice bit of irony and given meaning to the name while keeping the joke virtually unchanged. You could have had both lore and a punchline. 

And I would argue that the joke as is, isn’t even funny. Horace is indeed a lame name, but not for the reason that the show gives. It’s lame because it’s not unique enough. There’s already a Disney character named Horace and I’m sure there are real people out there with that name as well since it’s not completely unheard of. So the joke falls flat and winds up insulting anyone with that name. 

Don’t Expect Any Pay Off for Eugene’s Identity Issues This Season

Yeah the show makes a big deal out of Eugene having a mid-life crisis through out season three, but then never resolves it in any meaningful way. 

Edmund Is an Asshole 

I don’t care how “crazy” he is. Calling someone by a name they don't wished to be called is just plain rude. Acknowledging someone’s preferred name is just a basic common courtesy that is expected of everyone. Once again, this isn’t funny, quirky, nor charming, just unpleasant. 

So the Animators Wasted a Model on a No-Named Character Who Only Appears Once

Someone said this little girl appears in season one, but it’s not noticeable if she does. She also doesn’t have a name and this is her only speaking role. What a waste of money. Just have one of the braided girls from the movie instead. You already built models for them and haven’t really used them. 

And before some mentions race here, this is poor rep already cause the character has no impact. 

Turns Out, Varian Didn’t Even Need Those Truth Serum Cookies

Not only does this dumb down Pete to a ridiculous degree, but it also invalidates everything Varian went through in The Alchemist Returns and the grief he got from everyone for using the truth serum. 

Oh, and it’s also lazy writing and a plot contrivance.  

That’s Not Figgy Pudding!

This is Figgy Pudding.

It’s a boiled “pudding” that’s more like a cake with dried fruit in it. During the 14th through 18th centuries such bread puddings were made to be carried around in ones pocket or knapsack for eating on the go. They’re nothing like the creamy custards we call puddings today. 

It also looks nothing like what’s shown on the screen below. 

That’s like a half eaten loaf of wheat bread?  

That’s jelly filled .. apparently...?

Once Again, If You Have to Make Everyone Else Incompetent to Make Your Hero Useful to the Plot Then You Need a New Plot

Rapunzel has zero business in this plot. She doesn’t even need to be in this episode beyond a cameo. Trying to cram her into the protagonist role in a conflict that doesn’t involve her is just a disservice to everyone.  

Winnie The Pooh Is More Mature Than This Show

More of that meta commentary I was talking about last episode, and it just as full of shit as ever. 

Seriously Find Her, Keep Her is the best script I have ever seen in any show. It’s perfectly balanced so that anyone of any age can relate to it. It’s real and heartbreaking and perfectly suitable for small children to understand. There’s no shock value, no darkness, no modern satire, but its far more mature and complex and deep than anything TTS has tried. 

Also Rabbit is a far better father than any dad in this show, while still being cut from the same trope. There’s no shame in being a children’s show when its done well and this now 30 year old kids show runs rings around what ever mess Tangled is trying to sell. 

Eugene Isn’t Exaggerating Here and I Don't Know How to Feel About That

Turns out Eugene did grow up with these guys the same as he did with Lance. It’ll be confirmed only two episodes later. That just recontextualizes everything. He didn’t just betray some rando guys that he held no feelings for, he betrayed people that he’s known and worked with since childhood. 

Now just because he’s known them doesn’t mean that they were family to him like Lance, but like the fact that he keeps claiming then as such through out the episode would suggest that perhaps they were like siblings. 

That’s ... ingenious. That makes Flynn Rider retroactively an even worse person and gives the Stabbingtons real reason for vengeance. 

Only the show doesn't do anything with this!  It just makes Eugene an even bigger jerk in the movie for zero reason. 

Let Me Reiterate, Edmund Is an Asshole 

Just like with Frederic, Cassandra, and Rapunzel the show uses framing to try and make the audience side with people who do unforgivable things. 

Edmund is an abuser. He neglected his own son for 25 years. But the show presents him as “funny” and “quriky” and “look at his pouty face, he’s so lonely”.... 

No!

Edmund isn’t deserving of anything and how he treats Eugene here is garbage. 

This show is utter crap writing wise but boy does it know how to gaslight its own audience into siding with bullies and abusers.  

Eugene Is One Thousand Percent In the Right Here, But Don’t Expect the Narrative to Acknowledge That

There’s nothing you can do to make up for that. 

Eugene might forgive him. Eugene might move on from it. Eugene might decide a relationship it still worth having with Edmund. But the horrible thing still happened and it happened because Edmund allowed it to happen. There’s no going back from that and everything going forward has to be on Eugene’s terms alone. 

But the narrative won't allow Eugene that agency. 

Even as he makes his grand proclamation about being done with Edmund the cameras chooses to focus on Edmund and his feelings. The story is already priming the audience to prioritize Edmund over Eugene so that when the forced and contrived forgiveness scene comes we won't question it. But it only comes because Chris doesn’t deem Eugene as individual person with thoughts and feels of his own, but as an avatar to fulfill his wishfulment fantasy regarding his own personal daddy issues. 

Rapunzel’s Characterization in Season Three is Just....Off

Ok, even ignoring the major stuff, like not recognizing what she’s done wrong, putting her into roles she’s not meant to carry, and making her a shitty girlfriend suddenly, Rapunzel just behaves contrary to her character all through out season three even in small subtle ways like here. 

On the surface this seems like a clever call back to Great Expotations, but lets examine more closely, shall we. 

On one end we have yo-yos; an invention that’s been around since ancient Greece and is so wide spread across the globe that the word “yo-yo” itself is theorized to come from Indonesia and the Philippines.

On the other end there is Rapunzel. A woman who spent 18 years isolated inside of a tower, because of this she is both ignorant of somethings and insatiability curious and eager to learn.  Or at least she was, until striking out onto a year long road trip, and having now been out of the tower for only two years, claims to know better than the entire fucking world about this object who’s existence she didn’t even know about until only a year and half ago! 

Like what kind of sense does this make? Why would you abandon the core of her drive and motivation, to learn, explore, and grow, and then call it “development”? 

How Did Edmund Get Beat By These Guys?

Edmund took out Adria. The Brotherhood is suppose to be the best physical fighters in this world and Edmund is supposed to be best out of all of them. Yet he’s taken out by two random, mediocre dudes who didn't even jump him. They gave him time to respond and he stood up to fight them. 

Was all his physical prowess tied into that axe? Is the axe magic? 

If you characters have to be depowered for unexplained reasons for the plot to work than you haven’t a good plot. 

This Isn’t as Heartwarming as You Think It Is Show

If Edmund knew where Eugene was this whole time then he could have actually provided for his son. He could have arranged adoption with someone by letter, sent money, food, clothes, ect, maybe even wrote to Eugene directly and kept up a long distance relationship to be there for him emotionally. 

There is literally no excuse anymore for Edmund to hide behind. He literally neglected his duties as a parent, just cause. 

Finding these things shouldn’t make Eugene happy. Finding these things should piss him off even further because that’s how any logical adult would respond to this bullcrap. 

I sure know I’m angry. I’m angry that Eugene is a pawn for the creators’ writing wank-off rather then being treated as human being; as an actual character. 

“Nice” Isn’t the Same Thing as Kind, Rapunzel

One could argue that she’s not even superficially nice in season three, but the real problem here is that the show, and by extension Rapunzel herself, doesn’t understand the difference between being “pleasant” and actually being a good person. Outwardly polite people can stab you in the back, can kill you even, and not care, as Rapunzel has demonstrated repeatedly since season one.   

Do They Have to Be “Family” for Eugene to Give a Damn? 

Can’t Eugene just do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do? People don't need to be friends and family to care about each others lives. Kindness isn’t transactional. Empathy and true charity doesn’t come with strings attached. If Eugene’s whole arc is about becoming a better person, then making the Stabbingtons “family” kind of undermines this. 

Don’t Reward the Dude for Doing the Bare Fucking Minimal 

No seriously. Edmund forfeited the right to ever be called “dad” by Eugene a long fucking time ago. He doesn’t get to be called that now just because he stopped being a piece of scum and showed the bare minimal of human decency. Even if Eugene decides to have a relationship with Edmund after this, it doesn’t mean that  he has to be recognized as his dad or that that relationship will be a parental one.  

Eugene, and by Extension the Show, Places Rapunzel Upon a Pedestal to  the Detriment of All

Only 4 villains out of 20 get redeemed in this show. Four, and yes I’m counting the Stabbintions as one entity here. That’s 16 times Rapunzel failed to give someone a second chance just cause she didn’t feel like it that day, and even here she did fuck all in trying to give the Stabbingtons any sort of chance. That was all on Eugene. 

The more this show goes on, the more it looks like Eugene is just in love with the idea of Rapunzel rather than who she actually is as a person. It’s a disservice to both their characters but it damages Rapunzel most of all because the show perpetuates this over idealization to everyone she interacts with. 

It’s really sickening to watch and terrifying to know that some uphold this selfish brat as a “role model” for little girls. There’s nothing empowering in being an inhuman “goddess” who can do no wrong....even as they do several wrongs and never gets called out on it.    

This Isn’t “Cute”

Eugene can’t even have an opinion on a fucking toy!

Look if you still like New Dream despite how horribly written it is this season, then good for you. That is completely understandable, especially since this is mainly a problem with season three and not really in the first two seasons and certainly not in the movie. 

But if you try to deny that they aren’t toxic in season three, that people who do have problems with how they’re written aren’t valid in their concerns, than you’re either someone who hasn’t been paying attention or someone who has gross double standards for women in relationships. 

This Scene Is A Waste of Time

This doesn’t tell the audience anything. It contradicts what was previously established concerning her powers without explanation and then just throws the creepy girl voice in there for a lazy hook. It doesn’t work at foreshadowing since we repeat this info all over again in the next episode and it doesn’t expand upon neither Zhan Tiri’s nor Cassandra’s characters.

 In fact it kind of contradicts Cassandra’s characterization in the last episode as well. Is she a remorseless bad bitch or a vulnerable woobie? She can’t be both. Not in the way show is going about it anyways. 

It’s poor time management and poor storytelling. 

Conclusion

It was mildly better than Rapunzel’s Return, but that’s not saying much. Everyone’s character is still circling the drain and there’s no escape line in sight. 

But before I close out, here is a real world update. I had to quit my job at Amazon for personal reasons and am currently job hunting. I’m not hurting right now, I do have money saved up to cover me for at least a month and I’ve been doing commissions here and there, however despite having more time technically to write these reviews, I’m now having to juggle it along with artwork and job hunting. 

If you would like to support my reviews and other personal projects you can send me a tip over at Ko-Fi and more public commissions will be opening soon over there as well.  

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

#eugene #anti-rapunzel #anti-tangled #tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure

[bitchybutcher]

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

-        Gird your loins

-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO

-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

-        Aw Kimiko is learning

-        Her lil smile

-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

-        Oh nooooo young love angst

-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested

-        A nice archer bailed him out

-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

-        Oh fuck he is

-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice

-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

-        OH FUCK

-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck

-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

-        WHAT

-        What the fuuuuuck

-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

-        Oh shit smuggled people

-        Homelander is nuts with power

-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

-        Stormfront seems like fun

-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

-        I like Stan

-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

-        “Daddy’s home”

-        I’m dead. It’s official.

-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

-        Is he making shroom tea

-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good

-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

-        Homelander is a terrible father

-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store

-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

-        Oh shiiiiiiiit

-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

-        You were right this season is weird

-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

-        The kid’s a dandelion omg

-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

-        He’s completely insane

-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

-        Or possibly laughing

-        Hard to tell when they have no face

-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

-        Oop there’s the laser eyes

-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

-        Hughie don’t do it

-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

-        He’s hopeless

-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

-        OH FUCK A WHALE

-        For fuck sake Kevin

-        Ewwwww

-        Butcher what the fuck

-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

-        OH NO

-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

-        OH FUCK

-        ANNIE WHY

-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

-        Poor Kimiko

-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs

-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis

-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

-        I feel so bad for Annie

-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired

-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

-        Vending machine date so cute

-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

-        I feel bad for Butcher

-        Homelander is a scary good liar

-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

-        OH FUCK

-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE

-        Poor Maeve what the fuck

-        Ugh Stormfront

-        Shut your racist hole bitch

-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

-        Stormfront is like 70????

-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird

-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT

-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

-        Also this most recent one is super weird

-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

-        ….

-        WHAT THE SHIT

-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up

-        This is super weird

-        Why is Homelander crying

-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

-        “Strong female lesbians”

-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

-        I feel bad for Ashley

-        She just wants to do her job well

-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

-        Oh no what’s he gonna do

-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

-        Aww he called Hughie his canary

-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED

-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

-        Doggiiiiie

-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

-        This is so cringe holy fuck

-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

-        Why is there a sniper on the roof

-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir

-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

-        Oh hey it’s dickless

-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating

-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

-        He needs a hug

-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please

-        Why is Kimiko in a church

-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

-        Stormfront again?????

-        Does this bitch ever fuck off

-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

-        OH FUCK

-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected

-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

-        I adore grumpy Butcher

-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

-        Oop Lenny is dead

-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

-        YES MM

-        OH NO MM

-        YES HUGHIE

-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

-        Shiiiit shit shit shit

-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie

-        Oh good they all survived

-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

-        What the fuck is Sage Grove

-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again

-        Uhhhhhhh

-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

-        Ohhh the chip

-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip

-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

-        Well that’s suitably gross

-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

-        Butcher is so menacing I love him

-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle

-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital

-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

-        Oh shit who got let out

-        What does Cindy do

-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

-        Good job, guys

-        Ewwwwww acid vomit

-        OH NO HUGHIE

-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

-        Aha Butcher agrees with me

-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

-        Atrain get outta there

-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole

-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times

-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy

-        Oh shit a baby seat

-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

-        I hate Annie’s mom so much

-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂

-        Oh shit his dad died

-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

-        Oh boy a racist rally

-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

-        Oh shit it’s Denethor

-        And he’s not dead

-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

-        Shit Lenny shot himself

-        Butcher was SAS???

-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

-        Is this a cult birthday party?

-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

-        Good for him

-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

-        Poor Hughie

-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

-        YAY MAEVE

-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still

-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

-        Hughie and Annie are too cute

-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

-        Butcher in his lil jumper

-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

-        And typical

-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

-        She’s not wrong

-        Oh fuck off Becca

-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that

-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown

-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

-        Ahahaha the news broke

-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

-        OH SHIT

-        MM BETTER BE OK

-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

-        It’s adorable but still

-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

-        She’ll be fine

-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

-        AYYYYY MAEVE

-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

-        Good for him

-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

-        Aww happy endings for all the boys

-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

-        HIS HEAD BURST

-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him

-        Too bad it’s with the head burster

-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

-        Should I sleep or find fic to read

-        Body says sleep, heart says fic

-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

-        ….Butcher fics it is

#theboys #theboystv #theboysmemes #theboystextposts #I'm back with more insanity #middle of the night is probably not a good time to be texting but hey ho #I'm still a shameless ho for Billy Butcher #that's so sad let me suck your dick about it #I mean like damn #Karl Urban doesn't mess around when it comes to thirst trapping #I need season 3 like yesterday #amazon please #the boys #season 3 #I need it

[kickingitwithkirk]

Deuxième Omega

Summary: Jensen is not dealing well with his unexpected divorce and before the ink is even dry, he is pushed into another union with a complete stranger.

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Omega!OFC

Word Count: 3363

Warnings: A/B/O, angst, angry Jensen, cursing, alcohol abuse, parental manipulation, arranged marriage, Alpha dominance over Omega, unintended injuries.

A/N: So, get this; a lot of my original writing ideas from my weird as hell dreams about Sam Winchester but for some reason Jensen is starring in this one. I’m gonna blame the bad PMS I’m having for all the angst in this.

A/N II: There is no intentional hate or malevolence intended towards any of the Ackles family. This is a purely fictional piece containing real and created persons/names/events set in the fictional A/B/O verse.

*Supernatural doesn’t end in season 15 and some dates/events have been altered to fit the story.

*no beta, all mistakes are mine *photos found online

Jensen was sitting slouched on the leather couch staring at the paperwork that had been dropped off by courier this morning, official notification of the dissolution of his marriage to Danneel when Jared entered his trailer. “It’s not gonna say anything different no matter how many times you look at it.”

“I know,” Jensen sighed heavily, “never thought I’d be in this position.”  He tossed the papers on the table and picked up his beer draining it in one go.

“You better not drink anymore, we’ve still got two more scenes to get through before we can leave tonight.”

Jensen rolled his head towards Jared leaning across the kitchenettes bar counter with a very concerned expression.

Jensen had always been a social drinker, he did love his beer, the slight softness over his toned stomach was the biggest indicator. But there had been constant uptick in his drinking during the mandatory two year waiting period for an Alpha/Beta divorce. So far, it hadn’t seriously interfered with work but there had been several instances of his obvious imbidding that Jared,  Alex, even Misha ended up pumping him full of coffee to get him through.

“Then let’s get them done so I can get really fucked up before that shit show happens tomorrow.”

“Jack, give this new marriage a chance. Your dad said she’s a good match right? You never know, maybe it’ll work out like Gen and me.” Jared’s marriage had been a private match and he was happy with the Omega that his family had chosen.

Jensen snorted, getting up and walking out of his trailer, “Yeah, you lucked out with her, not always the case. Look at me, I’m getting a second hand Omega.”

*** To say the atmosphere in the private arrivals area was strained was an understatement. The Ackles were seating several feet apart awaiting their son.

“Mommy…daddy, how’s it..go..going?” They both turned in unison to see their very drunk middle child staggering towards them followed closely by Jared and Clif.

“Jensen Ross Ackles, how could you show up in this condition!” Donna Ackles snapped as he gave her a cheeky smile before passing out. “Fuck!” Jared blurted out, catching him before he face planted onto the tiled floor.

“Jared Tristan Padalecki you’re to blame for this!”

“I’m the one who’s been there for him, not the one forcing him to do something he’s not ready for! This is on you, I’ve tried to get him to stop but he’s hurting like hell and you don’t care!”

“You can’t speak to me that way young man! I always knew you came from trash and this proves it.”

Jared let his inner Alpha surface, eyes glowing red in anger, “If you ever speak disparagingly about my family again…” Clif quickly stepped in between them giving Jared a look.

“I’ve had it with you inserting yourself in our family business! I’ll make sure you never have contact with Jensen outside of work ever again!”

“You go ahead and try, Jensen’s forty two years old and more than capable of making his own choices. The only reason he’s agreed to this is because you’ve duped him into believing this is the only way to uphold your family’s social standing in the Dallas Pack because all you care about is how you look to those fucking country club bitches!”

“Alan, could you please bring the car around so we can get away from this embarrassing situation.” The older Alpha gripped his mates arm giving her a firm look of disapproval and steered her towards the exit. They could still hear her grousing, “how dare he deliver Jensen in this state,” as they went out the door.

Jared hefted his friend over his broad shoulder and carried Jensen back out the private entrance as the SUV pulled up. Clif opened the back door and helped Jared place him in the vehicle, carefully laying him across the seat.

“How bad has it been for him?” Alan inquired after Clif shut the door so his mate couldn’t hear.

Jared pulled off his beanie, running both hands through his hair, not hiding his frustration before answering, “He’s been in a downward spiral, drinking continuously, got him to stick to beer. I found him looking at the divorce papers and as you see… ”

Alan sighed heavily. Jensen’s divorce came out of nowhere, everything on the surface appeared good between him and Danneel but in hindsight he realized there were telltale signs all along, the biggest was her reluctance to have children.

Anytime anyone inquired she waved it off, saying she wanted to wait till Supernatural had ended, it wouldn’t be fair to leave all the responsibility for rearing their pups predominantly on her, she wanted Jensen there, to be a hands-on father.

Alphas were involved to an extent in care and raising of pups, but it was unusual for one to be as hands on as the Betas or Omegas were.

Jensen was one of those exceptions. Whenever with his siblings, he was right in there helping, never turning down a chance to play with them, even princess tea parties with his only niece. When on vacation or at conventions with Jared and his mate, he always was willing to help with their pups.

“I want to formally apologize for what Donna said, she overstepped the lines of etiquette. This is no excuse but she doesn’t know how to handle this situation. Jensen’s always been her favorite and she personally picked Danneel as his mate, it’s been a slap to her ego.”

Jared smiled, “I accept your apology Alan. Jensen’s always said his mother has been a…handful.”

Alan laughed, “That’s the diplomatic way of putting it,” he signed again, “Donna’s family always spoiled her being the only Omega, somewhere along the way she’s forgetting that being part of Dallas society doesn’t give you the right to treat others badly.”

*** Late next morning

Jensen was sitting on the edge of his hotel bed contemplating how he got here.

He thought Danneel was the one. When they were introduced by his mother a few months before his twenty seventh birthday they instantly clicked and started dating that night.

Jensen proposed six months later, couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have found a love match. Danneel stated she wasn’t ready to give up her career yet, so they compromised and decided on a long engagement.

Supernatural started filming its fourth season when Kripke announced that the series would end with season five. Danneel also found out her current role was being written out of the series she was in about the same time so they set the date for May 2010.

Jared’s surprise wedding in February that year reaffirmed Jensen’s desire to settle down and start his family in a few months. They bought a home outside Austin like Jared and his new mate Genevieve. Things were going as planned, then the unexpected happened.

A couple months before they finished filming the CW announced Supernatural was being picked up for season six under new leadership.

Jensen returned to Vancouver not long after they were married. Danneel continued working, doing guest starring roles on other series and was cast in the occasional recurring role of Jo.

Every year when the show went on hiatus Jensen would bring up about starting their own family, he was feeling the biological pull more and more. Once again, she stated it wouldn’t be fair for them to have a family and him be a drop-in father, and moving to Vancouver full time, nope, he worked too many hours.

Danneel started dabbling in other interests outside of acting and in 2018 they opened The Family Business Brewery with her family. A few months later Jensen was served with the divorce announcement.

*** “Jensen, it’s time.” He looked up and Alan was saddened by the lost look in his son’s eyes. There was a resignation in those green eyes that never existed before. Saying nothing Jensen got up, slipped on his suit jacket and walked out of the room.

Alan mentally shook himself but that nagging feeling was back once again, something wasn’t right about this whole situation.

*** The Uber stopped at the back door of the small country church. The woman in the backseat thanked the driver and got out, pulling the garment bag with her. She walked to the door and rang the bell. It opened revealing the minister’s wife.

“You’re very late, the wedding is starting in fifteen minutes.” She said, hurrying up a staircase to the second floor and entered an empty room. “Where is your family? They should have arrived already to help you get ready.”

“There is no one coming,” the woman replied as she hung the garment bag over a closet door next to the mirror attached to it. The minister’s wife’s jaw dropped in surprise, “and it won’t take me long to get ready. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be down in a few minutes.”  

She unzipped the bag removing a veil and shoes having arrived already in her dress, chosen by the groom’s mother, and attached the veil to the headpiece holding back part of her simply styled hair. She looked at herself for a moment before pulling the front part of the veil over her face then joined the minister’s wife who was to escort her to the chapel. She placed the shoes she wouldn’t wear until after the ceremony on the small table outside the double doors and took her place in front of them.

Jensen was sitting in the first pew of the small country church wondering why this place was chosen for the wedding as Donna and Alan made their way to sit next to him. His siblings, Joshua and Mackenzie, were already seated in the one behind him with their mates as the rest of the Ackles clan that had been invited filled up the rest of the pews.

He looked over at the bride’s side. There was not a single person seated in any of those pews. He frowned, finding it strange, wondering where her family was when the intro music started.

The minister took his place and gestured for him to rise. Jensen couldn’t move, his body feeling like it was tied down with lead weights. “Jensen!” His mother hissed at him in a low tone.

Suddenly, he felt himself get up, urgently needing to get away from her as his inner Alpha became agitated, as if it sensed something was amiss.

Each secondary gender pairing had their own ceremonial traditions so he was required to remain facing forward when the music changed and the doors behind him opened.

As the guests stood Jensen focused his senses on her as she proceeded down the aisle. He couldn’t scent her, too many different scents mingling together to isolate hers. He listened to the whispering material of the dress as she slowly walked, finally stopping next to him. In his peripheral vision he could see her head bowed under the thick veil obscuring her face and hair, her hands were clasped together in front of her, devoid of a bouquet.

The minister started speaking, talking about the obligations each Alpha and Omega were required to follow as dictated by the book. Jensen inhaled sharply, realizing what was occurring.

This wasn’t the common ceremony but the ancient, traditional version that only the extreme believers still used today. There was absolutely no out for either party from once the proceedings started.

If he objected to the ceremony he would be shunned by his pack, his family would be forced to never acknowledge him again or suffer the same censure; if the marriage didn’t work and they separated, he was responsible for her care as she would be set aside from society and forced to live in isolation.

He looked over at his parents, Alan was pinching the bridge of his nose trying to quell his anger knowing that his mate had put Jensen in an impossible situation as Donna sat there with a fake, placid look.

His own mother had irrevocably bound him to this Omega for the rest of his life.

The rest of the ceremony was a blur, neither party was required to say anything, there was no exchange of rings or a kiss at the end. The minister finished the ceremony and turned to the altar signing the marriage certificate with a quill pen dipped in ink. Jensen signed next, his hand was shaking so violently in anger making his signature barely legible.

The Omega didn’t sign, only her name was required for legality and the minister filled it in. He poured a powder on it to set the ink, blew off the access, rolled it up and tied it with a piece of twine before handing it to Jensen offering his blessings for a fruitful marriage. It took every ounce of his acting ability to politely smile, shake his hand, thanking the minister for the proceedings.

He turned, marching out without acknowledging his bride and she obediently followed behind him, pausing to grab her shoes along the way and scurrying to the waiting limousine climbing in after him.

Jensen sat in the back on the farthest side pouring himself a drink from the bar as his new wife sat quietly near the still open door. A few minutes later Jensen was on his third glass of whiskey when his parents climbed in and the chauffeur shut the door. He started the limo and as they pulled out Alan pressed the button to close the privacy window between them.

The tension in the back was so palatable an icebreaker couldn’t have cut through it. “Donna how could you…” Alan was unable to say anymore, his disgust for what had happened thick in those few words. “I did nothing wrong,” she snapped back, “I only had Jensen’s best interests…”

“Like when you threatened to sabotage my friendship with Jared again? By the way, Clif’s the one who dropped the dime on what happened after I passed out last night, not Jared, so you don’t get to blame him for that too.” Jensen threw back the rest of his drink before continuing.

“Oh, don’t think I’ve ever been ignorant of your disdain for him ‘cause the clan he comes from isn’t good enough for those highfalutin bitches in your social circle. Or how you’ve persuaded me to do this only to find out you took it to the extreme, forcing me into an impossible situation, accept this marriage or lose everything. Congratulations mom, you are still the queen bitch, sorry, bee, your precious reputation is secure.”

They traveled the rest of the way in silence. The limousine pulled onto the grounds of the country club in front of its grand entrance. Jensen got out before the chauffeur finished putting the car in park leaving his new wife to scramble out behind him as Alan and Donna got out the other side.

Jensen finally took a good look at his bride. She was in a simple, modestly cut, long sleeved dress, the only adornments a row of buttons down the bodice, no jewelry and apparently a pair of shoes that didn’t fit as she was struggling to get them on.

She was still fussing with her left shoe when he spoke in a stern voice, “Since our wedding was in the traditional, we’ll continue with its edicts. You are not to remove that veil, acknowledge or speak to anyone. You will not leave my side for any reason. Where I go, you go, three steps behind me. Nod once if you understand.” She nodded once.

“Son, I think…”

“Dad, as the traditional also states, I’m well within my rights to make demands of my Omega without interference, am I not?”

Alan acquiesced, “Yes, you are.”

“So” Jensen rubbed his hands together, “let’s go celebrate this disaster, shall we.” Putting on a fake smile, he went into the venue to greet his family with his Omega obediently three steps behind him.

*** Several hours later

“This shit has got to stop cause I swear it’s the only time I’m doing this dad.” Josh grunts, annoyance thickening his voice as he helped guide his inebriated brother to his hotel room. “Come on.. have ‘nother drunk, ‘posed to be celebrating my disaster marriage to that…’mega..don’t even want her.”

“Jensen, shut the fuck up! I’m not gonna stand here and let you insult your mate.” Josh snapped at him.

Jensen ripped his arm loose, “ ‘en go, not stopping you…and she’s not my mate,” his free arm waves unsteadily as he points towards his new wife standing by the main door, “my real mate took my money, my home, my fucking heart!!!”

Josh turned his back on his brother, “Jensen, I can’t stand seeing you like this, you need to get it together.” He headed for the main door,  pausing to speak to his brother’s new wife, “I’m sorry he’s taken his anger out on you now. My brother is a good man, an honorable Alpha,” he stepped close to her and lowered his voice, “there is far more to this than what you’ve been told, please be patient with him.” He left slamming the door behind him.

“Fuck him,” Jensen muttered staggering into the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed slumped over.

“Jensen, your brother is right, you have got to pull yourself together. Therefore, as the Alpha of our clan, you are banned from our family. When you are back to being yourself, the Alpha you once were, you may appeal for re-admittance.”

Alan then did something he hadn’t done since Jensen was a small child, he bent over and placed a kiss on his son’s head, “I love you and I want my son back.” Nodding to his new daughter in law he left.

It hurt him tremendously knowing he wouldn’t see his son for a long time but it was for his own good. Now his Omega was the only one who could help him mend. Hopefully Jensen would see this marriage wasn’t the biggest mistake he’s imagined it to be.

Jensen didn’t move until he heard someone shuffling their feet. He looked up squinting at his new wife still standing by the bedroom door. Sitting up straight he grunted at her and passed out, falling backwards on the mattress. She slowly walked over and hesitated a moment before reaching out touching his shoulder, shaking him.

Getting no response she sat down near him lifting her right foot, gingerly removing the ill fitting shoe with a gasp and then repeated with her left. The blisters on both her heels that had busted open earlier were raw and had bleed. She detached her veil and wadded it up, stuffing it in a shoe and bent over untying Jensen’s and removed them too.

Standing up she gripped both his jacket lapels and hefted him upright to lean against her as she worked it off letting him flop back down and unbuttons his shirt leaving him sleep the case of everything he drank off. She left a pain reliever and bottled water on the nightstand.

Quietly shutting the bath door she found the dress had too many small buttons down the back. She laughed mirthlessly at the irony she was stuck in the dress like this marriage. Pulling the skirt up over her knees she sat on the counter to soak and clean her sore feet in the basin.

Once the worst of the ache was gone she pulled the drain and climbed off to finish washing up the best she could. The mirror reflects back the emotional toll of the last few months in her eyes.

She went over to the bed only to find her husband had moved, sprawled out over its entire surface. Searching for extra bedding and not finding any she gave up going back into the main room and curled up on the couch hoping to find a comfortable position to get some sleep for a few hours so she could briefly forget what her life had become.

Part II

SPN: @donnaintx​​​

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva

#alpha!jensen ackles x omega!ofc #alpha!jensen ackles #alpha!jared padalecki #a/b/o ofc #supernatural a/b/o #alpha!jensen ackles x omega #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #a/b/o rp

[viscousliquid]

☕️ best soups

literally such a hard hitting question i hate to pit bad bitches against eachother but.. potato leek is my personal favorite although pho is definitely up there, same with italian wedding soup, and any bean stew, wonton soup and thai coconut curry soup as well.. i could keep listing them foreverr ! 💓

also thank god its cooling down its soup season officially

#💓💓 #i literally spent so much time trying to decide the best soups..

[sassykattery]

Celebrations of the Heart, Pt. 9

The moment you've waited for ♡

CW: MC is afab, uses she/her pronouns. MC is a demon and poly. Use of gendered spousal terms. Demons being flirty and horny, but what's new. Maybe a little emotional?

Themes: Romance. Birthday. LuciferxMC. DiavoloxMC.

Characters: MC="you", Lucifer, Diavolo, Barbatos, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Solomon, Simeon

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Masterlist

Enjoy~

-9pm-

Inside the box lay a ring, one with a gold band and a singular, large, white marquis cut diamond mounted high on it, adorned with two small Burma rubies on either side of the center stone.

Instantly you turned around to see Lucifer down on one knee, looking up at you.

"MC, will you do me the extreme honor of becoming my wife, for now and all time?"

Badum.

You didn't have to think about it. There was nothing to consider. You'd told him once how you felt about the subject. Every memory of you and Lucifer flooded with only seconds in between each image. The night you made a pact. Your first kiss. The first time you two made love. When you two got back together. His first gift to you, the earrings. The ball where you two danced, then he made love to you in tandem with Diavolo. The night you became a demon, the way he looked at you with abandon and pride, forgetting he was in the company of others. Every night you shared together, every morning you two had coffee in silence. It was all there, the answer all along, never wavering, never ceasing, never waning. Pure, unadulterated, unbridled, unconditional love.

"Yes."

Lucifer took the ring from the box, and you instinctively held out your right hand, and he placed it on your ring finger. Slowly, he came to his feet and held your right hand in his.

You finally looked up to find his crimson eyes wide with what looked to be awe and admiration, maybe a touch of shock, too. With your other hand, you reached up and cupped his cheek. He finally came back to reality and softened once more, leaning into your touch.

"My bride," he murmured. You smiled, pulling him down for a sweet kiss.

"My groom," you muttered back against his lips. He pulled you into his full embrace, his hands wrapped around on your shoulder and waist as he sought to engulf you completely.

"In body and soul," he whispered.

"For now, and forever," you whispered back. It felt as though he was nearly trembling. You held him tighter, your fingers splayed on his shoulder blades.

Unable to help himself, he buried his face in your neck, planting kisses and nibbling at your divine flesh. Your tiny moans filled his ears only, causing him to only clutch you tighter. Both of your internal infernos burned brightly in the presence of the other, feeling complete yet needing the other closer.

Lucifer moved his head around, and while keeping his tight hold on you, he dipped you down, causing you to lean backward into his arms. He kissed you more, his tongue slipping in to greet yours lovingly. Though he wanted to take you then, he would have to wait as well.

You two remained that way for a while, exchanging words of love and adoration, promises of eternity, and sometimes just in loving silence as you held one another. It was pure bliss to be like this, knowing that finally, after all this time, after everything that happened between you two, had led to this moment.

"So this is my gift then?" You asked tearfully and playfully, running your fingers through his obsidian locks.

"Do you like it?" He whispered, nuzzling his nose against yours.

"It's perfect. It's very... us," you replied softly.

"I'm glad. When you told me there was nothing I could give you, I knew there was one thing I had to give: a promise of eternal commitment with me," he murmured.

"Did you really have to be so secretive?" You asked, reaching down to pull on his lapel. His hands wandered down to your lower back, just above your rear.

"Mm, of course. I couldn't have you ruining the surprise," he answered.

"And... Did you know...?" You trailed off, unsure about if it would ruin the moment to ask about Diavolo's gift.

"I did," was all he said. You knew it was more than that. Lucifer likely had figured you would say yes to him given what you received earlier than evening.

"Thank you for everything," you whispered. He nodded and kissed you passionately, drawing you in so close that neither of you could really breathe. You suddenly broke away with a laugh.

"Wait, did I really have to spend my day with Mephistopheles because you and everyone else were planning this yesterday?"

Lucifer groaned. "That was Diavolo's idea, not mine, and I barely agreed to it. We didn't want him catching wind of what we had planned. Otherwise, he'd stick his nose in it."

"Tsk, and there I was thinking about hanging out with him after being ditched," you retorted.

"Anything but that. I couldn't take it if another demon started wanting you, too. There's hardly enough of you to go around as it is," Lucifer teased but also bemoaned the idea.

You shook your head and laughed, like music to his ears, as it rang out in the quiet of night. Suddenly, you fell serious and peered at your new ring, glittering under the moon.

"We're getting married," you whispered in near disbelief.

"Indeed, and I hope you don't plan on changing your mind. Now that you've said yes, I have no intention of letting you get out of it," he murmured seductively.

"Oh? And what if I had said no?"

"I seem to recall you telling me that you were interested in a permanent commitment. I highly doubted saying no was a possibility," he replied a little hotly.

"Maybe it was about the ring," you replied.

"Hm, I suppose, though, I seemed to have found your phone open one day to a visual discovery app where there was a section called "Lucifer" with, what was it? Rings, dresses, flower arrangements, décor–"

"Okay! So you found my Sintrest," you interrupted with an eyeroll and slight panic. You made that board when you and Lucifer had first started dating, so it was a bit embarrassing to know he had found it.

He chuckled and brought his face close to yours again. "I love you," he whispered, gazing at you lovingly, his gaze the softest it had looked in some time.

"I love you," you replied. His lips collided with yours once more to wordlessly remind you of the depths of his love.

"So, she said no, right?" Diavolo teased from the steps of the gazebo after just under an hour since Lucifer had appeared.

Your eyes rolled, and Lucifer made a show of making out with you more feverishly and groping you to make a point. The smile that graced your lips couldn't be helped; he was just being too cute. You had to be the one to break away, still holding his hand. Looking back at Diavolo, you softened.

"Thank you," you whispered to the prince. He smiled in return, simply happy to see you happy. Once more you looked at Lucifer, pure adoration in his eyes. He couldn't let go of your hand, or move away from you, for that matter.

Diavolo approached, standing at your flank. "I fair to say this could be the best birthday we've celebrated with you, my love," he murmured. When you looked up over your shoulder, his gaze was full of love and sincerity.

"I would venture to say this has been the best birthday of my entire life," you replied softly. Both of your lovers were of course happy to hear this. "I love you both, so much," you whispered.

"And we love you, MC," Lucifer whispered back.

"I do believe it's time for the final location," Diavolo stated, grinning.

A portal opened a few steps away. Lucifer took your right hand and walked through the opening, with you following the Avatar and with Diavolo, taking your left, following you both.

-10pm-

"Surprise!"

You were in the living room at the House of Lamentation, and all of your family and friends were there. Asmodeus squealed and rushed you immediately, forcing your lovers to let go of your hands when he collided with you in a feverish hug.

"Oh, MC!" He cried. "Let me see!"

You tilted your head in confusion, and then he brought up your hands, looking at your two rings.

"Oh, how darling! It's very you, my dear," Asmo beamed.

"Wait, did you...?" You started to ask.

Satan walked up and shook his head. "Oh, we knew. He wouldn't shut up about it yesterday. And then today, sweet hell, he was unbearable, pacing around the house, barking at all of us–"

A sharp growl came from Lucifer to shut up the fourth born, though he was still smiling down at you. Mammon snuck up behind Asmo and Satan and wriggled around them, taking your hand.

"Not too bad, looks like a 4.5 carat, D quality, probably cost around–" And he was promptly smacked and drug away by Satan. You couldn't help but chuckle.

"Shall we start the party?" Barbatos asked you, taking his station next to Diavolo.

"We shall," you beamed, nodding.

Solomon tapped his wand and the lights dimmed slightly, and music started to play. Everyone's voices picked up. The night was filled with endless fun, and you couldn't have imagined it going any other way.

Truly, yes, your heart was full. All those doubts, fears, worries, the inner turmoil, insecurities, they washed away in moments like this. In the moments where Asmo fawned over your gown, or when Diavolo and Lucifer tensely but silently argued who could dance with you first only to miss their opportunity as Mammon swept you away, or when Solomon offered his hearty congratulations on your engagement, it was all worth it. Nothing could be better, not in your wildest dreams or deepest fantasies. You never imagined this is where you'd end up, but to think it could be any different, well, it simply couldn't be. This was fate.

"Grimm for your thoughts?" Barbatos murmured, taking your hand and escorting you to dance. You smiled and followed easily.

"Ah, I'm just happy," you replied, looking into his green eyes.

Barbatos smiled politely, but his eyes were more emotional, and he only looked at you. "I am happy to hear that, mistress," he said in his lowest register, only for you to hear. "You deserve nothing less," he added.

"If I might," you started to say, hesitating. He tilted his head, listening to you. "You've been a lot more forward with your thoughts and emotions with me as of late," you observed. Barbatos' eyes flickered to concern, but you added, "I like it. I hope you continue to be open with me." He relaxed again.

"As you say, mistress," he replied politely, smiling again.

The song was over and Barbatos bowed his head slight. "A pleasure, as always," he stated.

When you looked around you saw Lucifer sitting in an armchair, and the moment your eyes laid onto his face, he started searching the room, as if to look for someone. His landed on yours as you gracefully crossed the room, and he started to say something just as you sat yourself on his lap. He welcomed your intrusion, wrapping an arm around your hips. It was just you two in your own little corner.

"My love," he murmured, placing his other hand on your thigh. He scanned your frame and smiled. "I don't believe I've told you yet how stunning you look tonight," he praised.

"No, you haven't, and it was really starting to worry me, you know," you jested, bringing up your right hand to look at your nails and new jewelry to seem pouty.

"Don't fret, dove, we have the rest of our lives for me to tell you each and every day, multiple times a day if you wish," he replied with a smirk.

"I'd like to hear it a few more times since it's my birthday," you stated playfully, crossing your arms and upturning your nose at him. He caressed your jaw and pulled your head down down, your ear on his lips.

"You're the very essence of beauty. Your charm is so beguiling, it's enough to command me that I'd take you right here at your behest. If I were still an angel, your gaze and voluptuousness alone would make me fall from grace from the sins I'd want to commit against you," he whispered.

Your eyes went wide, and a flush of heat ran from your head all the way down to your core.

"Is that enough? Or should I tell you that your voice alone drives my thoughts so wild I can scarcely think straight when you speak to me, and it's all I can do to fantasize about taking you up to my room to have my way with you?"

"Okay, okay!" You yielded in a whisper. It felt like your body was now aflame with arousal and embarrassment.

You sat up again and looked down at Lucifer, and he gave you his signature half-lidded stare and smirk combination. In a huff, you looked away, but his hold on you tightened. Others were still having fun, Mammon up to his usual tricks of playing cards and losing against Satan and Belphie, Asmo flirting with Solomon, Beel asking Luke, Simeon, and Barbatos about the food. The prince approached once your eyes landed on his.

"Keeping her for yourself again," Diavolo tutted at Lucifer.

"She was misbehaving, so I had to set her straight," Lucifer replied.

Your jaw fell agape and immediately retorted in a hushed tone, "If anyone is misbehaving, it's you, you flirty old demon," snapping your head towards the eldest.

"See what I mean?" Lucifer stared at you, his smirk deepening to show his fangs.

"Indeed," Diavolo mused, coming closer to bend down to your other ear. "Maybe she needs to be spanked," he murmured.

Staring straight ahead, it was so hard not to react. Had you squealed like you desperately wanted to, everyone would have noticed. With an obvious gulp, you plastered a sweet smile and turned your head to Diavolo.

"Maybe you need to be," you replied sweetly, lids lowered. Diavolo's smile curled into a nasty smirk as well.

"How unbecoming for the future queen," he muttered in a falsity of disappointment.

"MC! Stay right there, I need a picture of you three!" Asmo squealed with his D.D.D. in hand when he saw you three together. Diavolo stood behind the chair, appearing behind you and putting his hand on your shoulder. Asmo quickly took a few and smiled.

"Oi, MC, we had a question since you said yes to Lucifer and all," Mammon said, approaching with everyone slowly turning toward your direction.

"And we heard that you and Diavolo are getting married too," Belphie added.

"Hm? What is it?" You asked, welcoming the distraction from the two ornery demons that would have relentlessly teased you into oblivion.

"When's the wedding? Or should I say, weddings?" Satan asked with a smirk.

---

Thanks for reading <3

This was the chapter finale for Chapter 9! Next time, we'll start Chapter 10, which is the end of Season 2!

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

Tags: @delphi-dreamin @itsmeninerz @bite-sized-devil @obeymediasimp @marvelous-maniac @flemmingbamse @frozengoldie

#obey me #obey me shall we date #sassywrites #sassystories #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer #love-eternal #obey me diavolo #lucifer x female reader #diavolo x female reader #ITS OFFICIALLY FUCKING WEDDING SEASON BITCHES #LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO #DOUBLE WEDDINGS HERE WE COME #i hope youre ready #i know youre not but you better get ready

[angelhummel]

why do you dislike season 6? :)

Ohh so many reasons lol. Umm I think I’m gonna try to hit everything I dislike but also be brief about those individual things. So who knows how long this will be but I’ll hide it under a cut bc I’m sure I’ll ramble. Anyway, in no particular order...

The music. None of the songs mean anything, the covers aren’t good or interesting, hardly any song was used effectively. Most of the music is used for competitions or parties or invitationals and hardly anyone gets to actually sing to express something or further the story. It’s boring, bland, and bad

The story. I’ve seen people praising the writing this season and honestly it’s like idc how good you think it is. The plots were absolutely ridiculous. And sometimes I like some ridiculousness, and the show has had its crazy moments since day 1. But idk it just feels so surface and hollow and bland. Like it’s insanity for the sake of insanity and not entertainment or using humor to add to the story. The hurt locker, Sam being hypnotized, the fucking puppet, the bear. It all makes me want to die :) 

Klaine. I’m not opposed to them having more issues they need to work through. But breaking off the engagement just to have Blaine date Karofsky was literally just a big middle finger to like half the fanbase. And it was all handled so sloppily that there was literally 0 point to it

The pacing. I’ve said this before but it’s like they tried to cram in so much stuff and hardly any of it ends up mattering. Like I honestly don’t understand it, but it feels like everything is rushing and dragging at the same time the whole season. Like they’re just wasting time until a lackluster finale. Idk how to explain it but nothing feels right

Brittana. I already don’t care about them period but holy hell they are fucking awful this season. They’re just so mean and for what. I mean more than usual. They act like immature high school idiots and it just proves any growth they might’ve had before is all for nothing. As per usual Santana can’t go one sentence without insulting someone. We know the whole rant to Kurt that I hate. And like for 6x03 Tina basically only opens her mouth to express support for their engagement, and then Brittany is like “I tuned you out bc everything you say is selfish and annoying” like wow what a bitch lol. Even when Brittany is telling Klaine how much she looked up to them and how they should get married she still compares them to a fucking rat and pig. And their friends are literally pulling this entire wedding together for the two ungrateful assholes, decorating the barn, providing entertainment, finding someone to officiate. And all Brittana can say is how much better they are than everyone they know and how lame their friends are. Like they act so fucking cunty this season it makes me sick they’re really a match made in hell lmao

The Warblers. Making them all into one dimensional gay caricatures isn’t funny and I don’t like it. Idk what else to say.

Sue. She hasn’t been interesting since about s2. But in the last couple of seasons even Jane sounds bored with everything. Every line of hers is like “You’re dumb” “This is stupid” “You’re an idiot” in the most lackluster voice possible. How do people still think she’s funny in s5-6?? And everything else going on with her this season is insane. She takes up way too much of the s6 run time in general and I would’ve been happy cutting even a fifth of her nonsense and putting that time to good use literally anywhere else

Samchel. They could’ve been cute but they just wanted so bad for Sam to be Finn 2.0 when he was always so much more, so much better than that. But it was obvious they only pushed him and Rachel together bc she basically thought of him as replacement Finn, which was bullshit. Also Sam was hypnotized for a good portion of that. Yeah. And then Jesse shows up and it’s like Samchel never happened and it’s just another waste of everyone’s time

I’m sure there’s plenty more but that’s what comes to mind first. I mean there are some parts I like, too. Mostly the newbies, and Rachel being a teacher, I think it’s sweet. And a lot of her scenes with like Blaine, Mercedes, and non-hypnotized Sam are good. But idk. There’s just nothing there that’s worth any of this trouble

#glee #negativity tag #anti brittana #anti brittany pierce #anti santana lopez #season 6 #asks #answered #long post #my thoughts #this is really mean about brittana so if you read it its your own fault #i warned you #also i mean its mean about everything lmao #hence the hiding it under a cut #to protect the children #Anonymous

[frostysfrenzy]

Smallville chronicles part 62 (Chloe's chronicles pun very much intended. But no I've never seen them) warning, there's a lot going on. Fortune. You get me. Carry on

Oh boy its lionel

"Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated" LIONEL YOU LITERALLY DIED 3 YEARS AGO YOU WERE SHOVED OFF A ROOF YOU FOOL

"What. No hug for your long lost daddy" I'll give E2 Lionel one thing. He amuses

The way Chloe is just laying on top of, admiring Oliver as he sleeps. I used to not like her all that much (way back in like season 1 and 2) now I want what she's got

Did I really just say that? Oh boy I've officially lost it

Also love that they've set up their bed in the middle of watchtower

Wait so uh, watchtower was bought by Jimmy. Lol this isn't weird at all

I'm going to stop because you know. I'm insane

I could take quotes from this Chloe Ollie bed scene but I'd be quoting the entire damn thing so I'll just leave it

Go mama K!!

Mama K??

Martha really just ripped off her sling

Chloe considers Martha as her mom!!

Oliver's non green arrow undercover outfit

Lois trying to make sure her muffins get noticed

"Lois. Don't worry. I've been impressed with you for years"

"That is so low rent and so rebel"

"Well what father doesnt want to make his son happy" he says after Lex tells him killing him was the greatest moment of his life

Chloe's outfit 😂

"That explains the smell of old spice and young ambition"

"I just need you to hack into a couple national news websites" "how many?" "All of them"

"You're a convicted felon" oh but so are you Lionel

"Well snow dad's been a little frosty lately right? Maybe we should figure out a different way to get that genie back in the bottle"

Mama K defending her son!!

"How can you be so good Clark?"

The way Clark whipped Lionel across the ground after pulling him from the mansion

The Luthor mansion burning to the ground was not something I expected to see ever

Lois and Chloe taking their stand against the vra!!!

"You have no idea how much you mean to people Clark Kent" my heart!!

"I saw me, I mean Clark Kent, disguised with glasses and a bad haircut"

Mama bear Tess!

Ok well.... that's peachy

"Look Clark. I want to plan this wedding as much as I wanna jump off of a building"

"Please tell me you didn't hop across the pond for a gallon of milk" "what makes you think I'd be in England?" Clark you're standing on Big Ben

"That better be some damn good milk Smallville" "Smallville. I must be in trouble"

"I think Oliver Queen would be an absolute fool to let someone like you get away" there is not a single Chlollie scene I don't enjoy

"I feel like I can't believe you did this to my jacket" I mean yeah it's terrible but it's somehow better

"You are going global now, which is awesome quite frankly"

"Why don't I just save you the trouble and superspeed out all on my own, ok. Whoosh"

"A phone call from your wife, Mr Jones"

*trying to keep it together* "hello dear"

"It's an adrenaline thing. See I'm little bit bigger than you"

Ok that whole Clark's telescopic visions with his eyes changing. Why are we just getting this now?

"You know, when I said I wanted to spoon earlier, this isn't really what I had in mind"

"This is definitely the most romantic of my recent kidnappings"

"Yeah he's right, we should probably introduce ourselves" *takes them all out**Chloe knocks dude out with a book*

That kiss after they kicked ass

"The last thing we want is a billionaire superhero ex fugitive kicking down the door of a sex club"

My ninja baby Oliver

"Don't leave goldilocks out in the cold"

"Should we just serve up charcoal too"

"It's my power I can call it whatever I want"

"Now stay put" "like hell" come on Clark you should've known there was no chance Ollie would

"You just have to act like you're re miserable" "that shouldn't be a problem"

"When they see this adorable blond, and you are, on this adorable blond's arm" I love Ollie calling himself an adorable blond. I mean, he's not wrong

NO OLLIE NOOOOO why did he have to get tagged

Ok I've arrived at what I've heard is one of the best eps of the series so I'm excited. But still scared for Ollie

I nearly pissed myself when Clark woke up with a lemur on him

He has a ring on 😂😂 Chloe?? I'm crying laughing already

*throws chip bag in closet for lemur*

What is Chloe's dress?

"Yeah well my memory etch a sketch is blank too"

Chloe just goes in public in this weird ass wedding dress

"Are those Emil's pants?"

"Holy matrimony that's my signature"

Clark runs into the wall

😂😂😂😂😂

"Well Emil always was an overachiever"

Emil and Tess duet 😂😂

"I'm looking for the girl I came in here with last night. She probably insulted you more than once"

"Clarkie, there's only one person I know that can make an armored car go adios in seconds" drunk Tess 😂

Oliver and Lois are just casually on a rail bed

Ollie's face hugging Lo 😂😂

His face when he comes to is even better

"Morning. Sorry" I'm still crying

Oliver's giggle when he sees his outfit

I may not get through anymore eps tonight because I'm taking 20 minutes per scene here

"Clark you're beeping"

The truck is in the barn 😂😂😂

"I hate to break it to you but the last thing I want to go around with for the rest of my life is a lie propagated by my ex boyfriend" "oh"

"There's something stuck in my bra" "that's not my territory anymore"

"I can't believe in my first drunken night out I lose Lois, commit a felony, and I land my friend in jail. I'm so reckless"

Why is Chloe still in that dress?

"My lucky lemur"

Huge siren flashbacks with Lois and Ollie tied up

"One, two, shuffle"

"I didn't exactly bring my green arrow gear to the bachelor party"

"Lois? Oliver?" The dance scene 😂😂

The casino fight this is beautiful

"The only one getting luckier tonight is yours truly" *knocks him out* who needs green arrow when you have plain old Oliver Queen

I just noticed Ollie lost the bra

"Way to go all in gorgeous" "back at ya hot stuff" I love Chlollie

"I found it in a puddle of champagne in the limo"

THE VIDEO 😂😂😂😂 I'm not going to bother quoting the whole thing

"A monkey?!" Chlo it's a lemur

"I hope you weren't gonna run off without your husband"

Now I have to endure some Ollie free eps and that's sad but here goes

"Tess. You didn't have to come all the way out here. There's caffeine givers in metropolis"

"he's outside in the car"

They made a child with Lex AND Clark's dna? This can only go one way

"I'm saving him from an encore performance of daddy dearest"

"Your son is dead Lionel" have I ever mentioned I love Tess?

"Mutation's a bitch"

"Are you like my dad?" "I prefer brother"

"Are you trying to tell me that Conner is the genetic lovechild of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor?" I hate that I laughed at that sentence

"But how is Lex able to shake up a human krypto cocktail without you realizing it?"

"Hold on chicken little"

Lois is pretty. That is all

Clark just standing there in a burnt shirt

It's like Kara all over again

"I was just stopping by to see how things are going but it looks like I should've brought marshmallows"

Well oops the child found out

Just when I was starting to like this kid

Oh good lord the kid is on red k this'll be fun

"Believe me I'll trade a little motion sickness for a bullet in the bonnet any day"

Lol Connor ok. This kid just grabbed a jacket and a necklace for Lois for

*Lois tosses stolen necklace back to police* "sorry"

"You destroyed Lex with your secrets and lies" Bull. Shit.

That fur coat is a look Lo

"I'll speed you away to Paris"

"It may bring out his inner angst a little but it doesn't turn him into this"

Clark busting the ring

Damnit Lionel

How does everyone but Clark bust kryptonite with their heat vision

Ok I did not miss the classical music in every Lionel scene

"You'll always be a Luthor" oh but she won't

"I hope it's not too presumptuous but I figured you needed a last name"

"I'm sure that when we have kids of our own, you will be an amazing father" damn right he will

#smallville #my smallville bs #enter at your own risk

[at-the-exd-of-everythixg]

💍 + ][Sal and Rhys, for some softness even tho they're also unlikely to get married][

@blind-mutant oh these boys!! 100% Rhys introduces himself as Rhys Estrellas all the time and Sal is never safe again from mushy husband smooches. (Absolute duo tho to get accidentally married while drunk)

send me 💍 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they get married

At Eden's! Best place after all!

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. )

Sal threatens Rhys to gut him like he was if they get hitched in August so it ends up being in April since they always thought their wedding would have been a joke.

what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. )

No traditions! Rhys didn't want any and Sal wanted them too much.

what their wedding cake looks like

Boys absolutely get a chocolate galaxy cake to tease Sal but jokes on Rhys because Sal demands coffee cookies that are constellation themes.

….who smashes cake into whose face

Sal lil bastard baby does because more things to lick off Rhys ;)

who proposed to who first

Oh my god could you imagine Sal doing the "if you love me so much why don't you marry me?" And Rhys??? Said yes but then Sal got nervous and he got nervous and they just kinda...jumped in it together?? Flustered babies who end up checking on each other a lot to swe if this is what they really want (and Rhys does a corny proposal to make Sal blush in private skskk)

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither )

Rhys walks down the aisle,,,well, runs down it to get to Sal, the moment he's wanted.

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like

Sal,,,goes for something a little more formal and I think he has one of those eye masks that cover his upper face because he's drama and Rhys blows him away with his looks and star theme.

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have

Purple and black with a bit of white in the form of giant snowflakes that Sal has hung up as a motif for his precious mooni-kins.

what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? )

They have mainly night flowers like daturas, moonflowers, brugmansia, casa blanca lily and,,,,,I found out there was a flower called a bee orchid and as IF Rhys can't have that at his wedding???

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )

Sal is flustered and he's scared but...he tells Rhys that he wants to give this a go, wants to be happier than his parents, the failing couples on tv...he wants a chance to be happy with Rhys and it's the scariest thing ever but...but he wants it and he wants to get it because Rhys is right about people like them deserving to be happy and Rhys....he deserves to be happy, more than anyone in the world.

Rhys...oh god the mush. Tells Sal that he adores him, that of course they deserve this because Sal is wonderful and beautiful and better than anyone he knows. He wants to make Sal happy and he damn well plans to do that, so long as he can hold Sal's hands, kiss his face, listen to his voice. He wants nothing more than a life with Sal and some chocolate for them to share in bed with nothing but their rings on.

if anyone’s late to the wedding

A few of Sal's friends since there was an issue with gifts.

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other

Pretty much everyone from Eden! They're everyone Rhys and Sal need.

what their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing

Cute and casual, something easy for everyone to move easily in.

who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? )

Bex talks about his she's finally glad these sweet boys finally got together...and hopefully stay out of trouble now that they've gotten some problems solved aka stick to-fucking-gether. Some of Sal's closer friends like Tiff and Midas give embarrassing talks too.

who catches the bouquet( s )

Bex! Space parting mother deserves it!!

what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? )

S O many oh my god of Rhys touching Sal in some way. Holding hands, hugging the back of each other, kissing each other's cheeks,,,in particular there's one where Sal undos Rhys's hair and pushing his hands through Rhys's hair while smooching away and other where he's taken off his upper mask to reveal smudged kissed makeup to hold the mask between them while they kiss.

what sort of food they have at the reception

A lot of bread stuff since Rhys knows Sal likes it but also stuff like burgers because they have good memories of little dates that weren't dates together.

who cries first during the ceremony

Rhys does but Sal cries just as much under the mask.

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. )

Oh for sure wild! Everyone starts drinking and doing practised and free dancing as well as using their powers to have a fun time.

what their rings are like

Sal's that bitch that preens because his ring is pretty and purple and it looks like he has two while Rhys for sure gets an expensive opal that Sal actually brought rather than stole off someone or picked out as a cheap hand out from his own pile.

what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalised candy etc. )

So much chocolate and wine but also,,,its eden. They get sex toys and lingerie mostly and Sal keeps some hidden as a surprise treat for later.

where they go for their honeymoon

Ohh I'm thinking some sort of cabin lake side? Somewhere where the boys really don't have to worry about anyone other than themselves and can be as loud as they want (and Rhys must now give his mushy vows he wrote about hiw much he wants Sal's dick and cute butt 😌 Sal brought three different gags for this)

something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. )

Everyone tries to get Rhys to make limbo sticks out of his shadows and Tif's powers relate to creating small bubbles of time so?? It turns out everyone partied through almost a day.

who officiates the ceremony

Bex does.

what song their first dance is to

Diamond's are a girl's best friend

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle

Bex gives Rhys away.

#ask #blind-mutant #wedding meme #headcanon #the living stardust (sal) #sorry i didn't have many ideas 😥 KSKKSKSK #god Rhys must be INSUFFERABLE as Sal's HUS BAND #too fucking proud

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, April 20

Cover: Kenny Rogers’ body is still on ice -- why his widow won’t bury him 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Sloppy Tyra Banks, Gary Busey grocery shopping in Beverly Hills, Brian Austin Green grabs meals to go 

Page 3: Lisa Marie Presley is living large, puffy-faced Goldie Hawn hikes to her California home, Chris Pratt spring cleaning 

Page 4: Bindi Irwin has another surprise in store after pulling off her secret Australia Zoo wedding to Chandler Powell -- she’s pregnant 

Page 5: A bank has asked the LA Sheriff’s Office to force Tori Spelling to pay a $89,000 credit card debt and her money-bags mom Candy Spelling has once again refused to help, Patrick Stewart secretly married his third wife singer-songwriter Sunny Ozell in a Mexican restaurant in California with Ian McKellen officiating 

Page 6: Catherine Zeta-Jones admits she’s a bitch and being polite to fans pushes her over the edge 

Page 7: Spoiler Alert for Grey’s Anatomy -- Ellen Pompeo who has starred as Dr. Meredith Grey for 15 seasons will be killed off next season in a blockbuster story line

Page 8: Now that he’s moving to California rogue royal Prince Harry plans to turn his years as a stoner into a king’s ransom by launching a huge marijuana business empire -- Harry and wife Meghan Markle are slapping down $9 million for a 286- acre pot farm near Clear Lake in north central California to fuel their flashy new Hollywood lifestyle 

Page 10: Jon Voight tells his daughter Angelina Jolie to back off of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

Page 11: Law & Order vet Elisabeth Rohm has called off her year-long engagement to California judge Jonathan Colby on good terms but the two have different priorities at this time, the handwritten lyrics to Hey Jude by Paul McCartney are set to sell for nearly $200,000 at a massive online Beatles auction 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Conan O’Brien rides a bike through Brentwood, Ellen DeGeneres has been recently blasted as one of the meanest people alive, Amy Poehler is co-founder of the Upright Citizens Brigade in Hollywood and NYC and the comedy clubs and improv schools laid off most staff without notice or severance or health coverage and only after embarrassing press and online comments trashed the millionaire she finally will provide funds for a one-month extension to healthcare for the full-time benefit eligible staff, Little Big Town singer Kimberly Schlapman says she’s 100% sure her 12-year-old daughter Daisy was a heaven-sent miracle thanks to her deceased first husband Steven Roads, Woody Allen outcreeps himself by spilling in his memoir the details of bedding both sisters of his former muse and live-in girlfriend Diane Keaton, Ramona Singer of RHONYC did away with the housecleaners due to coronavirus and posted a picture of herself mopping in a sexy nightie 

Page 13: Frumpy Kate Hudson, Sean Penn’s silver roots start to show, Maud Adams walks her dog, Kristen Stewart relies on the company of ghosts 

Page 14: Seth Rogen has a new pastime: watching flick flops like Cats while flying high, Demi Lovato’s got something to sing about -- a brand new ripped boyfriend named Max Ehrich who loves showing off his astonishing pecs, Fashion Verdict -- Emily Blunt 5/10, Noomi Rapace 3/10, Christina Aguilera 2/10, Cardi B 4/10 

Page 16: Rihanna vows to have up to four children in ten years with or without a man, Superman never carried an ounce of flab but his alter ego Dean Cain has piled on an unhealthy 50 pounds and is gobbling supersize portions of pizza and fast food to find comfort because of his nose-diving career 

Page 17: Inked-up train wreck Aaron Carter declared himself single in a nude photo after his girlfriend Melanie Martin whose name was just tattooed on his face was collared for felony domestic violence 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Scarlett Johansson, Luann de Lesseps confesses she’s still tippling even after her shameful drunken bust, stuck in lockdown Courteney Cox is binge-watching her sitcom Friends and was shocked to realize she can’t remember most of the series that made her rich and famous 

Page 20: True Crime 

Page 23: Former boxing champ Mike Tyson is dropping shocking confessions including having sex with fans, drug binges, psychedelic trips and being pen pals with England’s most vicious gangster 

Page 24: Cover Story -- a furious family feud is exploding over late country great Kenny Rogers whose body is being kept on ice because his widow Wanda Rogers wants to hold a massive send-off that’s now banned by the coronavirus lockdown 

Page 26: Health Report 

Page 29: Eminem gushes that being able to raise kids is one of his greatest accomplishments, former steroids user and New York Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca is raging over how fellow cheater Alex Rodriguez has revived his image as an A-list celeb and is slamming the retired New York Yankees slugger as one of the fakest people out there, Alicia Keys felt manipulated and objectified by a sleazy photographer who made her open her shirt and yank down the top of her jeans when she was only 19 

Page 30: Former teen sex slave Virginia Roberts Giuffre who claims she was pimped out to Britain’s Prince Andrew by pedophile Jeffrey Epstein is now charging the kinky billionaire and his mistress Ghislaine Maxwell pressured her to carry his child through surrogacy 

Page 31: Steve Carell shockingly quit his hit show The Office at the peak of its popularity because he wasn’t feeling the love from showrunners 

Page 32: Single mom-of-three Kourtney Kardashian is so lonely and desperate for love she’s stopped being set up by Hollywood pals and is casting her fishing net for a man online, a London collector of James Bond guns was robbed of five pistols used in 007 flicks worth a staggering $125,000, a sweaty towel that late NBA star Kobe Bryant tossed over his shoulders as he bid goodbye to basketball has shockingly sold for more than $33,000 

Page 38: Real Life 

Page 40: Daniel Craig is worth about $180 million thanks to playing James Bond but he’s got bad news for his kids -- he’s cutting them off without a cent because he finds inheritance distasteful -- he has a 28-year-old daughter from his first marriage to Fiona Loudon and a two-year-old daughter with current wife Rachel Weisz, busted in the college admissions cheating scandal Lori Loughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli are accusing the prosecution of strong-arming its key witness to lie that they knew their payments were bribes and not donations to the university 

Page 44: Straight Talk -- newly leaked video is yet more proof that desperate loser Kanye West is a filthy parasite who’s been trying to save his fizzling career by leeching onto superstar songbird Taylor Swift 

Page 45: George Clooney is in hot water now that Nespresso the coffee giant he shills for on TV has admitted buying beans from farms that pay kids pennies for laboring in the fields, dumpy Drew Barrymore is hitting rock bottom again with her weight and is tired of blubbering in her closet over clothes that don’t fit and has vowed to give the extra weight the heave-ho before her new daytime talk show gets going 

Page 47: Hollywood Flashback -- Psycho, Bizarre But True 

#tabloid #tabloid toc #grain of salt #kenny rogers #prince harry #meghan markle #dean cain #bindi irwin #tori spelling #patrick stewart #catherine zeta-jones #ellen pompeo #meredith grey #grey's anatomy #grey's spoilers #jon voight #angelina jolie #brad pitt #jennifer aniston #elisabeth röhm #hey jude #paul mccartney #the beatles #amy poehler #little big town #kimberly schlapman #kristen stewart #rihanna #aaron carter #scarlett johansson

[artificialqueens]

Double rainbows are an opportunity to obtain two pots of gold (Branjie)- dexx-ss

a/n: Hi, hello, how are ya? So I was getting a new tattoo today and I wrote this fluffy nonsense and I hope y'all like it <3 ALSO, the title has literally nothing to do with the fic… I just couldn’t think of anything else XD Let me know what y'all think but be kind-xx

“So this is not dumb?” Brooke asks trying to figure out what Nina is thinking by looking at her face.

“Brock this is the cheesiest, cutest, most romantic thing you probably have done in your dumb miserable life,” Nina smiled placing a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder “it’s very José.”.

Brooke couldn’t help but smile at that.

–

It’s been few years since season 11 aired and Brooke and Vanessa have been together and broken up too many times to count on one’s hands. But in the end, they realized they can’t be without each other. And although secretly hooking up and messing with everyone’s heads is fun and all- it still took a lot out of them. So they decided to be together officially and made some ground rules.

–

For Brock, it meant that he had to give up some of his freedom and some of that flirting with strangers(some not all).

For José, it meant he had to give up getting easily jealous sometimes (not all the time) and frat house parties(all of them).

And so far these rules have been working out quite well.

–

Brooke has never been a fan of marriage. Not really. He has always believed that marriage is like the last lifeline. Meaning the only reason people get married is the fact that things are going so badly that you have nothing else left to do to save their relationship. He knew that in some cases it wasn’t true but he also knew that in most cases it was.

They have even talked about that with José. Well talking is not the right word. It was more of yelling and then some very passionate makeup sex later. Brock didn’t care for marriage but José wanted a big white wedding.

–

“So he has no idea it’s coming?” Nina asked while Brooke went to fill their wine glasses. “Well hopefully not,” B said now a kinda concerned look on his face. Brooke had told a few people about it already. Not how he’s going to do it but more of just that he is going to do it. He even went a few decades back and called Josés mom to ask permission.

“Our little firecracker has melted all the ice apparently,” Nina said with a laugh. Brooke just rolled his eyes.

–

Brock even talked to Silky and A’keria about it. Well not willingly. Silky and Brooke were both getting ready for a show and A’keria was randomly chilling with them. At some point, Silky asked if Brooke had some painkillers and B did so he told Silky to look for them from his bag. What he forgot was that Silky is quite nosey and that he bought the ring that day.

“Brooke, is you and Vanjie okay,” Silky asked. “Mhm, why?” Brooke looked at A’keria who was as puzzled as himself. Then Silky took out the ring that was in his bag “wasn’t that supposed to be the last lifeline?”, “Okay, first of all, you shouldn’t go through other peoples stuff,” Brooke said grabbing his bag and the ring back “secondly it’s not like that.”. A’keria raised a questioning brow “You are seriously not thinking about going through with that?”. Brooke didn’t answer to that. He just continued doing his makeup because it didn’t matter what he said A’keria had an opinion about that. (It was always a valid point A’keria gave but sometimes Brooke didn’t wanna hear it because he knew how right he was.). “You are so dumb,” A’keria laughed “like really dumb. That’s probably why Vanjie loves you so much.”.

–

“So it’s happening tonight?” Andrew giggled with excitement. “Well if ya don’t move that cute butt of yours faster and leave then it won’t!” Brook said waving Nina from the front door. As Ninas uber drove off Brooke quickly got back inside and started setting everything up. It had to look really casual.

–

At some point the door swung open “Honey, I’m home!” Vanjie yelled as he stepped inside. He looked around and heard some humming from the kitchen. José made his way there and the sight of Brooke trying to cook warmed his heart. They don’t usually cook, they order something from uber eats or just go out. “So if I eat this” Vanjie said with a smug making his way to his boyfriend “will I have terrible diarrhea?”. Brock jumped a little when José started speaking because he was so in his element and didn’t even realize his boyfriend had gotten home.  He took a towel and playfully slapped Vanjies ass with it “Fuck you,” he said meeting his boyfriend for a kiss.

Vanessa went to take a shower because he still had a full face of makeup on and Brock was really tempted to go with him. But he didn’t. Instead, he set up their plates and waited on a couch trying to pick a movie for them to watch while eating.

The movie watching and eating went great. First, they ate and Vanessa made few comments about how he is going to end up in a hospital with food poisoning. Then they put their plates down and José put his head on Brocks’ lap as they continued to watch the movie. But B couldn’t focus and he was shaking his leg so much when Vanessa tried to talk it sounded like he was driving on a very bumpy road. “Hoe, could- you- stop- that?”, “Sorry,” Brooke said stopping his leg but his boyfriend was already pausing the movie. “What’s up with you?” Vanessa said. Brooke tried to look anywhere but into Josés eyes. He wasn’t particularly chickening out but he was thinking maybe its too soon. But when V cupped his face and made their eyes meet all the doubts were gone. There was no question about it. He loved him. So. Much. So, he kissed him. And promised to be back in a second.

Brooke ran to the bedroom and came back with a book. José just gave him a puzzled look. Brock gave that book to José. “A notebook? Thanks?” Vanessa finally says but Brooke just rolls his eyes. “Open it you dummy,” so he does. He opens the damn notebook.

And

it’s

filled

with

Post-its.

Immediately José’s eyes go blurry from the tears that are coming up. They aren’t just post it. Every post-it has a little scribble. Of a good memory. Or a quote.  One even has the eyes and the detective emoji. It’s so dumb. But so sweet.

“Bitch,” V finally says something after five minutes of looking at the notebook “I can’t use it when it’s all full.”. Brock just laughs at that “Look at the back,”. José does as told. Behind the notebook was written: I’ve never been good at vocally expressing my feelings. So I’m gonna write them down instead.

I woke up today and decided:

I will never love anyone as much as I love you.

I love every part of you. Your smile. Your eyes. The way you get all excited when the cats come onto your lap instead of mine. (José laughs at that part, tears falling) I love how you get angry with me and how you try to make up before going to bed- Because you should never go to bed angry… I love all that’s beautiful about you and all your flaws.

And after thinking all that I realized that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

When José looked back at Brock he was holding out a ring. “So umm,” before he could ask anything V was kissing him. “Is that a yes?” Brock said with a smile on his face.

“You didn’t even ask,”

“José Cancel, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?” Brock said with a really bad Brittish accent.

“Yes,” Jose answered pulling the ring from Brock and putting it on his finger.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #fluff #draototpog #dexx ss

[ladyshandioftheendless]

~KISS AU writings 23~

The end is here, KISS fam and it’s a long one!! Thank you so much for reading my crazy stories~ I hope you all enjoyed!

~Shandi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~MODEL AU Part 10~

Featured Pairing: Bruce Kulick/Paul Stanley

Special Guests: Peter Criss, Vinnie Vincent, Gene Simmons, Mick Mars, Vince Neil, Heather McMann (OC created by @misslivvie ~)

Summary: As Bruce and Paul start a relationship together, an old friend comes back into Paul’s life~ (told from Bruce’s POV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun would be up soon.

I gently stroke Paul’s hair. He’d fallen asleep holding me tightly with his head laying on my chest and he’d never left my side throughout the night. Being with him makes me feel…I just don’t have to words to describe how good I feel. I lay there thinking of his loving kisses and soft touches. The way he watched me undress. The loud moans of my name as he climaxed. It was perfect..just like him~ I hated moving him but I slowly lay him on his back so I can get up and make coffee. 

Paul’s going to have quite an interesting day today. Dinner with his boss and his ex? It has to be stressing him out a little, even if he doesn’t want to worry me by showing it. I want to do something for him to ease his tension for tonight, but I’m not sure what. Maybe it will come to me over coffee. As the scent of drifts everywhere I hear my bedroom door finally open. Paul comes out dressed only in his robe, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “Mmmm..that smells heavenly~” I pull him close and kiss his forehead. “It should be ready soon. Why don’t you get yourself all prettied up? I want to take you out today~”

“Oh~? What’s the occasion~?” 

“No occasion..I just wanna spoil you~” 

“Are you sure~? I might get used to it~” 

“Would that be so bad~?” 

“Well haven’t you heard? I’m a selfish, bitchy diva~ All I do is shop and complain about my weight~”

“I also heard that you’re incredibly beautiful~” 

“Careful..all that flattery might go to my head~”

“I’ll risk it~” 

I kiss him again and go to make our coffee while he goes into the bathroom. I think that was a really good start to the day~

After we’ve both showered, changed and had breakfast I take him to Rodeo Drive where he could shop until his heart was content. It was adorable watching him fawn over clothes, makeup and jewelry. He was just so wonderfully, uniquely feminine~ It also amazed me how much he knew about fashion, how he could tell one brand from another or how he could spot a counterfeit from 10 miles away. It just proved my point that there was so much more to him than his appearance. While in the Dolce & Gabbana store he starts looking over various suits with great interest. “Brucie..when’s the last time you were fitted for a suit?” I’m a little taken aback by the question. He’s not thinking what I think he’s thinking..is he? “Um..I’m not sure. The last time I wore a suit was for my brother’s wedding so..its been a few years.” He shakes his head vigorously. “Oh no that just won’t do. If you’re going to parties with me I’m going to make sure no one else gives you dirty looks ever again.” I couldn’t possibly! The least expensive suit in this store costs over $2,000! “Paul, NO.” 

“Yes, Brucie~” 

“These prices are outrageous!” 

“Only the best for my Photopup~” 

I obviously no longer have a say in the matter. He’s already called someone over to take my measurements. I guess I’m going to have myself a nice fancy suit for the next party~

Back at my place Paul tries on some of his new clothes, asking for my opinion on how he looks. He should know better. I’m absolutely biased~ One outfit however looks particularly fetching. A black tank top under a purple off the shoulder top made from the finest lace, black leather pants and glittery purple boots. With heels of course~ “That’s perfect~ Wear that tonight~” He smiles and kisses me. “Thank you, Brucie~ Will you do me a favor while I freshen up? Time me?” I raise an eyebrow. “Why?” He blushes and looks away. “People are always telling me I take too long to get ready. I want to try to..not do that as much..” I laugh and kiss him again. “How about this? I give you a time limit and see if you can stick to it?” I look at my watch. “It’s 4:00 now and your dinner’s at 7:00. Think you can get ready in an hour?” 

“A-an hour..? I don’t know..” 

“Okay I’ll go easy for your first time. Hour and a half.” 

“I can try..” 

“Good! Your time starts now! Off with ya!” 

He makes an adorable squeak and heads off to the bathroom. I love him so much~ I keep a close eye on my watch while he’s in the bathroom. I hear the door open at around 5:15. He comes back into the living room looking amazing. I knew he could do it~ “Congratulations, you beat your time limit~”

“Oooh do I get a reward~?” 

“Later tonight~” 

He pouts. “You’re gonna make me wait?” 

“I don’t wanna mess you up before your dinner date~” 

“Fair enough~” 

We sit on the couch and watch one of his favorite tv shows before he decides it’s time to leave. “You’re going to be fine~” I tell him, kissing his cheek before he goes out the door. I still worry for him as I watch him drive away, but I know he’ll call me if anything happens. 

He doesn’t come back until well after midnight. I hear him come into my room, undress and get into bed with me. He rubs my shoulders and kisses my ear. “I’m home, baby~” 

“Mm..did you have fun..?” 

“It was wonderful~” 

“I’m glad.. Sorry..I can’t give you your reward tonight..” 

“It’s okay..you have plenty of time to make it up to me~” 

I turn so I can hold him, and we fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

As the months pass Paul and I only grow closer. He spends so much time at my place he practically lives there~ I continue taking photos as a freelancer for Catwalk. Mr. Criss never hires me officially but I don’t mind. It just means I can be close to Paul without worrying about being fired~ One August afternoon while we’re doing a shoot in the studio Mr. Criss comes in carrying a gold envelope. “We’ve been invited to a birthday party.” Paul becomes ecstatic. “Oh yes, Vinnie’s birthday is this weekend! You’re gonna tell him we’re going right? It’s only one of the biggest fashion social events of the season!!” Mr. Criss rolls his eyes. “I suppose I am. You’ll bitch at me for weeks if we don’t go.” 

“Damn right I will~” 

“Yeah yeah I’ll do it. Get back to work, Diva Star.” 

“Yes, sir~” 

Looks like I’m finally getting an opportunity to wear that expensive suit that’s been sitting in my closet for months. 

Sunday night Mr. Criss drives us to Vinnie’s Malibu beach mansion for his birthday party. Paul and I sit in the back seat together so we can hold hands. “You look so good in that suit, Brucie~ Do you like the cuff links I bought you~?” I smile and adjust my sleeves so I can admire them again. They were smooth turquoise stones set in silver. “I swear you’re trying to spoil me rotten. These are really too much~” He giggles. “Oh, hush up and let me spend money on you~ I haven’t had a good boyfriend in a long time~” Mr. Criss sighs loudly. “Will you two shut up before you give me diabetes?” We laugh. It’s nice to know he’s not serious all the time~ 

We’re lucky to find a parking space once we get there. The property is packed with cars for miles around. One of the biggest social events? Looks like THE biggest to me. I suddenly start feeling a little anxious. I’ve never been around this many people before. Paul squeezes my hand. “Hey~ If you start feeling like it’s too much we can always go.” I nod and smile. I love that he understands~ We go inside, weaving through the crowd to look for Vinnie. Fortunately he always dresses in gold so he’s incredibly easy to find~ We finally find him by the bar getting his glass refilled with champagne. A taller man dressed all in black leather and a copious amount of silver jewelry stood beside him with his arm around his waist. Paul’s curiosity is immediately piqued. “Vinnieeeeee~ Who is this and why haven’t you introduced me to him yet~?” Vinnie turns with a smile on his face, welcoming Paul with a long hug.” The gold glitter on his eyelids and lips make him look fantastic~ “Paulie, I’m so glad you finally made it~!” He comes over to hug me. “Lovely to see you again too, Bruce~” 

“Thank you, Vinnie~ Happy birthday~” 

“Oh, thank you~ It’s so nice to have all my friends here tonight~” 

Paul motions to the guy in leather again. “So who’s this friend~?”

“Mmph I’m being so rude aren’t I? This is Gene~ I met him while on a trip to Israel last month~ Isn’t he gorgeous~?” 

Paul can barely contain his excitement. “He’s a dream! Is he your boyfriend?!” Vinnie’s blush is all the confirmation he needs. He covers his mouth to keep from squealing too loudly. “Oh, Vinnie I’m so happy for you! What do you do, Gene~?” 

“Fashion designer. I’m hoping to showcase some of my new styles in the U.S.” 

“Ooh I’m intrigued~ If you need a model give me a call~” 

“I’ve found one already but I could always use more~” 

“Really? Who?” 

“Take a guess, Paulie~” 

That voice makes our blood go cold. Vince Neil stands behind us with the same cocky smirk he had at the last party. If he was here to start trouble with Paul again I wasn’t going to have it. 

“Sorry, Paulie. Once again you’re stuck with second place~” 

Paul crosses his arms. “Maybe so..but you can’t sleep your way to the top with him.” Vinnie clears his throat loudly. “Pardon me but I will not having anyone starting fights during my birthday party. Take it outside if you must.” Paul just turns and goes to the bar for a drink. “I’m perfectly fine, thank you. I’m just here to have a good time.” Vince is glaring daggers now. If there’s one thing he hates it’s being ignored. “Are you afraid to face me? Why don’t we go outside? It’ll save ya from being humiliated again~!” I’m just about to give him another piece of my mind when a woman’s loud voice cuts me off.

“EXCUSE ME!!” 

Annoyed, Vince turns to her. “What do you want, bi–!!” He doesn’t even finish his sentence before she decks him right in the face! He hits the floor, making everything screech to an abrupt halt. The woman flips her blonde hair with a satisfied look on her face before looking around. “What? None of you can tell me he didn’t have it coming.” With no one coming forward to disagree, the party just continued as usual. Mr. Criss stands beside her with his arms crossed, and right next to him is Mr. Mars. “I think your boy needs some help, Mick. Why don’t you take him home? He’s already had too much.” Nodding, Mr. Mars picks Vince up off the floor and carries him to the door. “That’ll teach ya to open your big fat trap next time won’t it?” I hear him say. It probably won’t but we’ll just have to see~ Paul looks at the woman in shock. “H-Heather..?” That name sounds familiar. I'm sure we've met before. She snorts. “Oh, you remember my name? Miracle of miracles! Now come over here and gimme a hug, you idiot~!” Paul laughs and hugs her tightly. “Of course I remember! It’s so good to see you again..it’s been so long! Where have you been?” 

“Oh, I went out of the country for a while to ‘find myself’ or whatever you wanna call it. While doing some makeup work in Milan I happened to stumble into in one of Vinnie’s fashion circles, and when he invited me to his party I figured what the hell? I had no idea you were here too, but Peter ran into me and brought me over~” With tears in his eyes he hugs her again. “I’m so glad he did~” I smile and rub his back. “O-oh..um..Heather you remember Bruce. He’s my boyfriend now~” She smiles at me and shakes my hand. “Nice to meet you officially~ Any friend of Paul’s is a friend of mine..but listen, tall, dark and handsome..I love Paul here like a brother. If you disrespect him in any way I won’t have any problems punching your lights out too.” She laughs to lighten the mood but I know that she means it. I spend the rest of the night with Paul as he catches up with Heather, who agrees to come back as Paul’s makeup artist. He’s overjoyed at the news and I love watching every moment~ We watch Gene lead Vinnie out to the middle of the floor and dance a special waltz with him for his birthday present. For the first time in our lives Paul and I don’t have a worry in the world. 

We have each other~ 

~END~

#Shandi's drabbles #KISS AU writings #Supermodel StarChild~ #things reach a VERY interesting conclusion~ #enjoy!! #sorry for not elaborating on the dinner #perhaps in a side story~