#its like that *man who only saw boss baby watching another movie* damn this is giving me some serious boss baby vibes ! meme

[avocadoleaf]

Hehehehe if it's not too much, I'd like to know your Yandere Quest Headcanons ◉‿◉

Hi Anon! I do not write yandere, but i can give you a bit of a darker Quest drabble.

Tagged and put under the cut

Content Warning: Dark Quest x Gender Neutral Reader, mentions of violence, blackmail, reader is held against their will, break up

Your relationship with Quest was normal, healthy, loving. He's a genuine man who has reformed himself, and he genuinely wants to be better for you. The only thing that could drive him to that level of insanity is if he believes your life is in danger.

He received a call from an unknown number at work. Some of his "buddies" from high school have decided to call him up, curious about his happiness, especially when it came to you.

"Your partner is just so cute, Quest! You know, you say you left "that part" of your life behind you, but you still use your old nickname. Crazy, I remember giving it to you. You always were searching for something to make you feel less alone."

His hand tightened around the phone "What do you want?"

"I don't really want anything from you. You are just easy to kick around, always have been. And now, you brought me a new toy. Maybe I can kick them around too?" Quest slammed the phone back into its box, shaking as he brought his hands to his face. He looked at the clock, only 20 minutes 'til the end of his shift. Those 20 minutes trudged by, with no work completed. He raced home to you, letting out a breath when he saw you asleep in bed. He had to protect you, at all costs.

You woke up extremely late for work the next day, "missing" your alarm. Quest convinced you to stay home with him, so you took it as a blessing. He seemed detached as you shared breakfast and watched movies on the couch, but said he was fine when you asked. You slowly drifted to sleep.

Quest passed his hand in front of your face to see if you'd stir. He needed to get your phone away. What if they called you and started tormenting you? What if they got in your head? What if they used your number to find you and then? He couldn't bear to think of it. He nudged your thumb onto your phone, unlocking it with your fingerprint. He had to know if they had found any of your accounts, if they had texted you, called you. He was sifting through when your boss called you. Damn, why did you always keep your sound on?

You woke up and saw him holding your phone, but thought he was just bringing it to you. You took the phone from him and kissed his cheek, answering your boss.

"Yes, sir, the reports for the merger were given to Mr. Williams last week. No, sir, there are no other physical copies. I mean, I have it on a flashdrive but the client data is confidential, I would have to give it to you in person. Yes, sir. See you then." You look at Quest sadly. "I'm sorry, baby, they need another copy of this report by the morning, I'll be back in an hour, tops."

He stands in front of the door, stopping you from leaving. "Quest, baby, I really have to go to work." He doesn't move. You tilt your head and chuckle nervously. "Quest, come on."

"I can't let you leave."

"Uh- Why not?"

"I just can't," he closes his eyes and turns away from you. You sigh in frustration and try to move past him, but he grabs your shoulders.

"Please, just tell me what's going on."

"You can't leave. Please just trust me to know what's best for you for once in your life. Trust me." The look in his eyes is both so intense and so vacant. He looks like a shell of himself, running on pure instinct.

"You're scaring me." You search his eyes desperately, hoping to find a bit of who you love in them. Cold, icy blue, but no Quest. He begins to push you away from the door, and you slip on a shoe left out haphazardly. The fall rattles through your body, slamming your jaw upwards. He stands over you and slowly walks towards you, but you scramble back on the cool tile. You raise your arm to block your face and flinch. He snaps out of his thoughts at the sight, only concerned with tending to you now. He starts to speak and bend down to help you up, but you take this moment to run out the door.

His world crashes as he sees you leave. He struggles for hours on what to do. On one hand, he should be out looking for you. He can only know you're safe if he's there to defend you, but you would be in much more danger if you were cornered together. He sat on the couch, paralyzed with fear. His phone buzzes.

"I'm going to stay at my parents' house tonight. We need to talk about what happened at some point, but I can't face you right now."

Suddenly, his phone rings. God, he is so desperate to hear your voice, to know you are okay. But he has no such luck. It's an unknown number.

"I hope you know hurting them will be the last mistake you ever make. If there is so much a hair missing from the top of their head, I will mark every door in this damn city with your blood and roast your head on a spit. That's a promise."

"Oh, Quest. You've always been so quick to anger, so easy to push around. Let me tell you this. I will never, ever let you have a good life. There will be no happy endings for you. And rest assured I will take joy every time I make your life a bit more miserable, but it's always better to watch you ruin it for yourself. I won't hurt them; I'll just make you do it."

#blooming panic quest #bp quest #quest #tw yandere #blooming panic #bloomic

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 21

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20

HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Things I want:

Live a life that helps others

Financial freedom

Experience a great love

Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy

To have more dreams and fewer nightmares

Doodle more

Acquire a first edition book, either because an old  friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch

To be happy

Please note: not necessarily in that order

 It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.   

 My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I used to draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough. 

  “oH WE GOT A ROGUE ONE.” 

 A flying toenail hit my eye. 

 “WHAT THE-” I flailed my arms, as though there were a thousand more coming. Renny’s mouth opened in shock, her guilty body hunched over her bent leg. Clippers in hand.  

 “Sorry!!” Renny burst up laughing.

 “oH MY GOSH CAN YOU DO THAT OVER A TRASH CAN OR SOMETHING?!” 

 “IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN!!” she screamed back. 

 I blinked rapidly, my left eye watering up and spilling painless tears. “Well I’m going to have conjunctivitis at the studio later. Or I’ll be stumbling in blind.” I wiped it away.

 I heard another clip and she put up her hands with another giggle. 

 “All done. And you won’t stumble, I’m going to be there.” Renny extended her leg, her perfectly trimmed foot nearly touching the ceiling.

 “You’re just going to solicit Zayn to be his next subject.” 

 “Maybe,” her grin grew devious. “But also because I want to see if he captured the angelic beauty and complex nymph nuances of my best friend.” 

 I put a hand to my chest, still aching from uncertainty. “Honored.” 

 “Want to watch another episode until it’s time to go?” 

 This whole lazy morning had been an OC Housewives bingefest. She’d seen it on my homepage and had a complete spazz, twitching whilst proclaiming but i’ve been trying to get you to watch this show for YEARS!! When she saw the old season I was on, though, she didn’t have to question why her pestering had miraculously worked. She didn’t mention him aloud besides giving me a pointed look. And so, we watched it, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to see anything about Harry right now. It’d hurt more than I thought to walk away from him last night, and to see how sad he looked when I did. 

 After last night, he hadn’t posted anything to social media. He’d called, twice, but I knew he was drunk, or worse, and I was tired, and whatever he would say he could tell me in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn’t. 

 And he didn’t. 

 And therein lay the problem. 

 It hurt to see his family on my little box of a computer screen, weird to see his life and get glimpses of his childhood. I felt like a hacker spying on home videos. But then I reminded myself that thousands of people had already done the same. At this point, it was just… morbid curiosity.

 “Nah, I don’t know if I can handle any more of that right now. Dr. Rhinecuff is going to yell at me if I don’t return these scanned copies to him by Monday.” 

 “Ew, he smells like meat.” 

 “RENNY!!” 

 “I’m just saying. That one time I went with you it smelled like pastrami in his office. He has a PhD, but isn’t with-it enough to buy air freshener.”

 “He likes pastrami sandwiches, let him live.” 

 She scrolled on her phone, not bothering to respond, and my gaze turned to the window. 

 “Hey Renny?” 

 “Hm.” 

 A bird flew close to the glass, halting just before it hit it, then zooming off in the opposite direction. “What’d you do when your parents were fighting?” 

 “Ummm…” I knew the question registered in her mind when she stopped scrolling, suddenly concerned. “Are your parents okay?”

 “Yeah. I mean, kind of.” I glossed over it, not caring to get into the bitter details. “I was just curious.” 

 “Uhh..” She plucked at the soft cotton of her cotton candy pajamas that were fraying at the knees. “I lost my virginity to Zach,” she half-laughed.   

 “Zach? Neighbor boy Zach?” 

 Renny nodded. She always sounded a little sad when she talked about him. Zach was the hot college boy who shared a backyard fence with Renny, the girl who may or may not have used her kitchen stool to peak over and see him workout on the grass every summer he came home. I’d known they’d slept together. I just didn’t think he was her first. 

 “I just tried to be out of the house as much as I could,” she said. “Found my true love Mary J.” 

 “Oh.” 

 “It was shitty, but I’m glad I got it over with.”

 “The divorce or your virginity.” 

 “Both,” she chortled. “Why what’s up? Are you sad or something? I have a j in my drawer.” 

 “No, no, I’m fine.” Mostly I was just wondering what it must be like to feel so sexually liberated. In my house sex wasn’t talked about. At all. The inevitable sex scene in every other movie would result in my dad blaring out “WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS!” in an attempt to make it less awwkard, but having it backfire and only make it horrendously more awkward. I wasn’t saving my virginity for anyone in particular, but after all those romance novels, I wanted it to be… something. I wanted to feel something towards the person where it would justify something I’ve kept to myself for so long. I wanted it to be intense. I wanted it to be like the books. Like a Frank Sinatra song that swept up your heart and transported you back to a time of gentlemen and cigars and women in long evening gowns with fur coats and martinis. 

 “I wish I could just get it over with,” I confessed. One half of me screamed YOU’RE IN YOUR TWENTIES HAVE ALL THE SEX while the other half said YOU’VE WAITED THIS LONG DAMN IT HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER. I didn’t know which part of me was compromising more. 

 Renny leaned in, quick. “Would you do it with Harry?” 

 Like the flip of a switch, I remembered the sensuous heat of his body against mine, wrapping me up and pressing me against him where we just fit. And I couldn’t imagine how much better it’d feel to be even more connected to him. 

 “Maybeeee…?” 

 But then there was last night. 

 I cringed. No matter how with me he’d seemed… he couldn’t have been present after mixing whatever the hell he took and a handle of alcohol. Did I really want someone like that? Someone who could only give a shell of themselves? 

 “No, I wouldn’t. Or- ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know if it could ever mean as much to him.” 

 Renny nodded. “I mean, don’t let him pressure you, obviously. If he does, I’ll kick his baby maker smack into his prostate. Prostate. See, anatomy. You taught me that.” 

 “Haha, no, he’s not like that.” My brows stitched. I was confused why he wasn’t more like that, actually. We’d known each other for several months now and he hadn’t even put a finger in me. When I thought about it, it actually frustrated me. Don’t pressure me to do anything, but I wanted to be pushed to do something. I was never the bold one in areas like this. 

 Not that I should be so willing to do anything with him anymore anyways. Something shifted in me when I’d seen him last night. It wasn’t a shift I could easily describe, but it’d set me a foot apart from my heart. A bit of me was shocked that it had happened so suddenly. 

 But this shift was new, and my heart still wanted what it wanted. I knew that if I watched any more OC Housewives with Harry’s toddler curls and surfer tan, I’d be sucked right back into speculating about what our future kids could look like. And if I saw him? 

 You were right, Harry. You are fucked. 

 I cringed again. That was harsh. That was very very harsh. 

 I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to apologize. What if my pheromones went berserk and magnetized me to his side??

 Renny was right.

 I needed therapy. 

 The clippers were tossed back on my desk.

 “Thanks,” she said. “Have you started on your DG Double P yet?” 

 DG Double P = Renny Speak for DG Pretty Please. 

 I groaned. “No. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, honestly. I have to-”

 “NO!!! Don’t tell me. We’re not supposed to tell each other.” Her hand extended in panic.

 “Fine. I can keep a secret.” 

 I was getting a little too good at that lately.

 She moved onto her belly, splaying her arms out in a dramatic fashion, face squished against the comforter. “Isn’t it just killing you inside.” She was dead serious. 

 “Yeah, more than you know.” 

 And I was serious, too. 

 --------------------------------------

 I wasn’t expecting people to dress up as much as they did. Donned in my only pair of yoga pants and a chunky white sweater, I walked arm-in-arm with Renny past girls in cocktail dresses and guys in button-downs. 

 Something that sounded like a baby’s cry filled my ears, but it was gone as soon as we walked through the doors to the on-campus gallery.  . 

 “Woah did you hear that?” 

 Renny nodded, tossing her head back. “There’s a baby somewhere.” 

 It reminded me of the bodiless screams in my nightmare. In my chunky sweater, I shivered undetectably.

 The on-campus gallery rotated exhibits throughout the year, but this time, student sculptures were on pedestals, nightmarish portraits hung on the walls, and red and orange tapestries swooped down and across the ceiling in a cirque-du-soleil moment as if to secure us beneath fire. Some students had separate booths, but other pieces of work trailed seamlessly into the next. 

 A tree made from photographs and newspaper took up the center of the space. Zayn had been so adamant about his muse having life, I wondered if that was the focus of this exhibit - to capture natural life. But I suppose all art did. 

 “It’s the circle of life exhibit,” Renny stated, as if reading my thoughts. 

 “How’d you know that?” 

 She held up a pamphlet she must’ve grabbed from the entrance. 

 I quickly scanned the room, hoping to find Zayn quickly so I could skip out just as quick. 

 Several of my professors were here, including Dr. Rhinecuff. When he saw me, I raised my hand, but he raised his cup of red wine awkwardly and looked away. 

 My hand wavered. 

 Odd. 

 Zayn was standing by the tree, speaking with an older woman. Her skin was a rich brown, short hair hidden beneath a chic scarf. The man beside her looked around the same age with graying facial hair, a pocket hanky, and beaded bracelets. Art professors. 

 I caught his gaze, and he gestured me over. 

 “Y/N, these are my instructors. David and Ebony.”   

 Their eyes lit up in recognition. “He did you a great justice,” David said, gray moustache twitching with the words.

 Ebony beamed. “Oh yes, a piece was already sold. He’s going to be the next big wig before he graduates,” she gushed. “Zayn, I’m sure you’ll be splitting the profits with the heart of the piece.”

 She gestured to me and his smile widened, but my stomach sank faster. 

 “I didn’t know these pieces were going to be sold.”

 Ebony sensed my concern. The wine in her glass swirled. “We thought allowing the pieces to be shown and auctioned was a good way to replicate what many of them should be doing once they graduate. The whole department gets involved, and these kids put in a lot of work, and the reputation of starving artists isn’t something we want to buy into here.”

 I nodded. “I mean, that’s great. That’s… really amazing.” 

 Zayn couldn’t meet my eyes. He knew. He could sense my hesitance, too. 

 “Now he can finally afford a nice dinner to take you out!” David proclaimed. 

 We were all quiet for a minute. “You know, for a thank you dinner,” David covered up. Zayn’s brows scrunched and he shook his head a bit, not knowing where David’s comment came from. 

 “Do you do this regularly?” Ebony asked, steering the conversation away from an awkward moment. 

 My ears pricked up when I realized she was looking at me. “Excuse me?” 

 “Well I was just thinking…” a light laugh lifted as if her idea would be outrageous. “Would you mind sitting in for one of my classes on Monday? Our model had a sudden death-” 

 “My God,” David proclaimed. 

 Ebony waved her hand. “-in his family. I haven��t called to replace him yet.”

 It quieted as they looked at me, waiting for a response. “Oh, I don’t… I don’t usually do this. At all. It was a chance thing.” 

 “Luck be the artist.” David raised his glass. 

 Ebony followed suit, looking at my empty hand. “You just going to let her stand there without a drink?”

 “Yeah, Zayn. What kind of treatment is this?” I teased. 

 He did a slight bow. “Apologies. We’ll walk to drinks, immediately.” He pulled us away, leading us further into the showroom as his head dipped low to my ear. “Renny just passed us to meet Felix and them. They’re through here.” 

 We stepped under an archway that led into a darker-lit room, but his hand stopped me beneath the nook. “Did yeh notice anything?”

 Yeah. I was noticing how close we were in this archway. He saw my eyes start to squint in thought and he turned me around to face the room we’d just left. 

 “Look closer.” 

 My eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find some sort of person, or pattern he could be referring to. With a brief seize of my heart, I expected to see somebody from the gang. 

 “Look at the artwork, Y/N.” His breath warmed my skin. 

 The paintings all seemed to be bright, though sticking to red, orange, blacks, and grays. Wait, forget a pallette pattern. The next painting had blue and purple, too. One sculpture looked like a writhing ghost, twisting and reaching for something above. Or maybe it was an unearthed tree root. Despite all the bold colors, there was something off-putting about how bright they all were. It wasn’t a soothing brightness. It was almost violent. The orange and red writhing tapestries warped the ceiling into something hot. 

 “Is it hell?” I chortled, but quickly quieted. I expected him to take offense, but his hand went lightly around my waist with a small smile.

 “Could be. See-” his arm extended out to scan the perimeter “-all this art is supposed to represent death, but challenge the notion of it through color.” 

 “How so?” 

 “Yeh know it’s usually your blacks, and your grays, s’depressing shit. But we’re born from death. Before life, there was nothing, but something. It’s bold and necessary and there, and no one really knows whatever comes before. Or after.” He looked at the room, taking a sip of wine. I watched as he swallowed, and I imagined the wine running down. “What is death but an uncertain existence.” He said the thought almost happily, looking at me with a slight smirk. “Could be anythin’.” 

 He took a deep breath, letting his hand touch the top of the archway. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t just plain drywall. A collage of photographs ran all along the inside. 

 He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but his hand still reached the top, scuffing across a picture of an African landscape taped over a toddler eating fruity pebbles. 

 “They’re pictures. Everyone donated one,” he said. 

 A strand of words were painted over the collage, running from one end of the archway to the other, and I tilted my head back to read it. “Things... that…. make... m..e …...feel alive.” 

 “Everyone was able to design their space in order to control, to some extent, how their art was perceived. Everyone was a part of the transition space.” 

 “Very nice,” I noted, slightly put-off. I hadn’t been expecting this art show to be so… professional. “Zayn, this is amazing. Like, really, truly, professional-grade stuff is happening. The presentation, the pieces, everything.”

 His smile grew wider, putting cool hands over my eyes. I flinched, but let him. 

 I felt him come closer. 

“Listen now,” he urged. 

 I listened, but I wasn’t sure for what. There was the familiar busy rumble of people mingling, parents visiting their kids, and professors droning on about the talent of their students. But it was chatter. I couldn’t make out one conversation over another. I shrugged up against his other hand that was atop my shoulder. 

 “Sometimes you need to change where you’re planted to understand.” 

 I hoped he could see my cross expression because I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me right now. It’d been a day. It’d been a night. And I wasn’t in the mood for more philosophical ramblings - especially about death. “I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed. 

 “Meaning I have to move you closer to the speakers.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Jus’ keep your eyes closed, okay?” 

 I nodded. His hand moved, tilting my head to its side. Eyes still closed, I became self-conscious imagining people trying to move past me, and here I was, planted, eyes closed in the middle of the archway. My cheeks heated. It was unnerving knowing people could see me when I couldn’t see them. And anyway, I must’ve looked ridiculous. 

 “What do you hear?” he urged. 

 “I hear a lot of people talking,” I griped. 

But right when I was about to open my eyes-  

 I heard a familiar chirping through the chatter. 

 “Birds?” I opened my eyes. 

 “Observance can be taught, sometimes.” Zayn leant back, looking mighty proud of himself. 

 “Why are there birds?” 

 “We’re entering life,” he smiled, backing into the space. I tipped my wine back, several long gulps lightening my step as I followed him. Immediately, I noticed much more natural, earthier tones. For being a room of life, it was surprisingly darker than the prior room.

 Renny, Felix, and Andre were huddled in the center where a makeshift wall-on-wheels covered in vines divided the room in half. 

 My eyes widened, trying to adjust to the dimness. “It’s a lot darker in here.” 

 “All intentional. They decided to play with light in here. People usually think of life being bright ‘n that, but it’s also when we experience varying degrees of darkness. There’s a balance to things and the trouble is finding it.” Understanding laced his voice as his dark eyes bore into mine, almost completely black. One look from Zayn and I was reminded of all the weight I’d been carrying. I fidgeted, uncomfortable seeing myself in his eyes. 

 “Y/N, get over here!” Renny called. My shoulders visibly relaxed. My saving grace. “You didn’t tell me you did this,” she said lowly as soon as I got close enough, shocked excitement barely contained. Her giddy smile gave it away though. “Miss sexy secret keeper over here.” 

 “What do you mean?” 

 She playfully poked my sides, but Andre and Felix avoided my gaze. Something wasn’t right. And it stirred my stomach, my body already knowing, somehow. 

 I turned in slow motion, the charcoal drawings in my peripherals stopping me in place. Framed amidst the vines, my face was etched onto paper, scrunching and twisting in various expressions. But my body was attached and twisting, too. And it was bare, bent over, spread out, laying down… My eyes scanned over them a dozen times in a second. 

 I was naked. 

 In all of them. 

 One was titled “21st Century Love.” In this one, I faced the viewer, but looked past them, sorrowful eyes, brows furrowed, breasts I’d never shown on full display. A hickey or two on my neck. A painful sting gripped my chest. I looked sad. I looked so sad.  

 Tunnel vision, a blurred Renny rushed down to the floor, and a distant part of me registered something wet splatter on my feet. 

 The wine had dropped.

 I’d dropped it. 

 I was trapped in a shell. My body was numb. 

 “Babes, you okay?” Renny asked, her voice somewhere far away. Somewhere outside the shell, her voice drowned in the busy rumbling, with the birds, with the watchers. People were watching me now. I was being watched. “Felix, grab some towels!” she barked. 

 I looked horrified, towards Zayn, but changed my mind just as fast. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t even breathe. 

 He didn’t know me at all. He could stare at me for a thousand sessions and paint every crevice, sunspot, blemish, and mole and still not see me. How was an artist this blind? How could he not know that this was the last thing I could ever want? How could he picture me so… intimately?

 The paintings seemed to swirl into one before bouncing back out into their separate exposees. 

 Because that’s what it was. 

 An exposure. 

 A stranger could pay to have me in their home. 

 The floor spun, vision spotting. 

 My lungs tightened, tearing me away from Renny, from Felix, from Andre. From Zayn, the artist who painted a confused girl so unashamed. So honestly. Savagely and Unabashedly. 

 “I didn’t want this.” 

 And it was when I was halfway out the door that I realized the voice had come from me, a mantra pushing my shell all the way home. 

part 22

#fratboy! harry #fratboy!harry #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #zayn blurb #harry styles one shot #zayn preference #zayn one shot #zayn imagine #harry styles #one direction #1direction #one direction imagine #one direction one shot #one direction preferences #harry styles preference #harry styles blurb #zayn fluff #zayn malik one shot #harry styles fluff #onedirection #zayn malik #zayn #niall horan #smut #fluff #harry imagine #harry one shot #harry blurb

[scientistowengottlieb-newtkelly]

Thoughts and feelings about Pacific Rim 2?

you sure you wanna open up that particular can of worms?

movie review time! be warned i'm not in a good mood as i am shaking in pain, however this review would have been scathing regardless. and none of this is to say pacific rim is perfect, it's not, but... aye, i have no words for the world of difference there. oh wait! i do:

so. first and foremost, i hate it. as both a movie and a sequel. did i find it entertaining? yes, mildly, so i suppose it did its job, however the only thing that keeps me watching it is because, simply, it's part of the pacific rim franchise whether we like it or not. therefore, i squeeze as much salvageable content from it as i can, such as how one might analyze the precursors, how we are to view hermann and newt as characters pre-, during, and post-uprising, what we are to expect from drifting (though this one i take with a grain of salt, there is a whole other rant preserved for the joke of an attempt to develop that shit within the movie)

one of my biggest issues with pacific rim is really simple: it plays out like DeKnight did not watch the first fucking movie or was scrolling through twitter while doing it and decided he'd make a cash grab since the first one was relatively popular. "haha the kaiju were going for mount fuji the whole time!!" bitch no they weren't!!! why the fuck did they end up anywhere near sydney, australia, then!!! why did they turn tail on places like manila and san fran instead of heading straight for japan!!! WHY DID THE ONE THAT WAS IN JAPAN NOT SUCCEED, THERE'S NO WAY WITH THOSE MARK 1 JAEGERS THEY'D HAVE BEEN ABLE TO REASONABLY FIGURE OUT THEIR PLAN AND WHERE THEY WERE GOING IN TIME TO STOP THEM!!! newt literally lays out what they are doing in the first movie and they completely ignored that!!! not to mention, if the destruction from elements found in mount fuji would have been enough to terraform the earth, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST FUCKING DO THAT WHEN THEY WERE SUPPOSEDLY ON EARTH AGES AGO??? THERE WERE VOLCANOES WITH THOSE SAME ELEMENTS BEFORE RIGHT NOW, VOLCANOES ARE NOT A RELATIVELY NEW THING EARTH CREATED SUDDENLY AND I WOULD IMAGINE NEITHER ARE THOSE ELEMENTS!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! and.... okay the fucking drones. how did those bitches make breaches??? we know the breach is some result of precursor/kaiju technology, apparently they know the breach's atomic structure as hermann said in the first movie, but how tf some kaiju organs and tech from earth only is ALL it takes to open a breach... illudes and confuses me... why were no more breaches made by the precursors once they realized how long and how many resources it was taking to kill the humans off??? if it's??? shit they could do with simple earth materials + their own biology??? they could have ended things much faster??? shit just doesn't add up, idk, that was Vague and Annoyed Me

and the jaegers.... were....... strange? the fight scenes were so underwhelming, i could count on one hand the number of maneuvers—NOT SCENES, MANEUVERS—i thought were badass and moved well. their fighting was confusing and paced really weird and some of the moves they pulled... don't... work like that... like some of those scenes were just hand-to-hand combat but in big robot form and they didn't sit right with me at all.

and the characters......... oh my word, the characters. look: i love jake pentecost with all of my heart and soul and john boyega's beautiful acting just barely saves the movie from its poor writing. i do love him as a character. but can someone explain to me why in the world they thought it was a good idea to make the only black guy a black market thief/runner, deep-record criminal with daddy and authority issues, and who they dare try to play off as some kind of lazy??? they made him every stereotype they could and said "yeah let's go with that". i'm- aaaaaaaaaaaaaa and what was with the child soldiers??? ROBOCOPS?????? mako....... character assassination at its worst........ my baby......... but the movie was paced so GOD DAMN POORLY I GOT BORED AND LITERALLY MISSED HER DYING THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED IT. and i couldn't tell you the names of half of those poor damn kids, i really couldn't. and can i also say they killed off one of the only two darker skinned kids?? like y'all???? the other darker skinned kids (one of the children i can't remember the names of because it was uttered ONCE in the entire movie or some shit) didn't even GET characterization. my whole heart goes out to her and those other underdeveloped fucks. speaking of...... i am ashamed about jules. from the movie that brought us the mako mori test, they threw in a girl simply for the sake of some shitty, awkward, and unexplained love triangle between jake and White Angst without much else to put to her name. she deserved better. amara was... a decent shot, but very hit or miss because of the writing. i, personally, am very neutral about her leaning towards liking her, but i know people who swing love and who swing hate. liwen was like,,,, they tried really hard to make her unlikable at the beginning because "oh no, she must be the villain! GOTTEM plot twist!!!" and then suddenly she's no longer. threatening everyone except newt. idk i feel like they leaned to heavily one way and i got whiplash when she's actually another but there was nothing to... portray that. at all. i do like her character, and that says a lot because they got me to sympathize with a capitalist without actually regretting it later, but there could/should have been More there. she was powerful, though, in multiple different aspects, and we saw that from her CONSISTENTLY and i 😳🥵👀💕 mako mori test pass for her

now, let's talk about hermann (and by extention, newton, however he'll be getting a section all his own the rat bastard). that man is one of the single instances of decent cross-movie characterization i saw in the whole god damn film. the idea that he takes on newton's roles, that he is more outspoken for himself, that he is just slightly more unhinged after his drift with newton: THAT is on point. he's himself, you can see it, you still know that he's hermann with ever step, but there's something that has shifted in him in those 10 years and it's good without being too much. the "i still get nightmares" scene, the way he presents himself, that scene gives me chills because god bless burn gorman and his acting ability. every face and intonation of his voice is just wonderful and i think his performance was great for what he was given. king shit.

the biggest disappointment of my life came in the form of a kaiju vest wearing bitch at work. at his corporate job. as a boss. for a tech company that undermines all of his and, frankly, hermann's work over their lifetimes. 10 years older and exaggerated to the teeth. newton "move you fascist" geiszler. let me preface this by stating for all to see that i do not hate the idea of newton being the villain. story wise it was a bold move and there was something possible there. BUT THE IMPLICATION THAT ONE OF THE MOST OBVIOUSLY NEURODIVERGENT CHARACTERS IN THE WHOLE FUCKING FRANCHISE, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT HE HAS BEEN CHARACTERIZED AS HAVING A "BORDERLINE MANIC PERSONALITY" AKA HAVING ONE OF THE MOST DEMONIZED MENTAL ILLNESSES OUT THERE, ENDS UP ACTING AS THE GOD DAMN VILLAIN OF THE STORY IS A HOT GARBAGE TAKE WHEN YOU FACTOR IN THINGS LIKE POOR WRITING NOT MAKING IT CLEAR WHETHER OR NOT NEWTON IS EVEN IN CONTROL OF HIS OWN FACULTIES AND THE VAGUENESS OF "WILL HE BE 'REDEEMED' OR NOT" BEING UP IN THE AIR LIKELY NEVER TO BE CANONICALLY FUCKING ANSWERED BECAUSE BECKHAM AND DEKNIGHT SHAT OUT A MOVIE THAT BOMBED IN THE BOX OFFICE. we aren't even gonna TALK about the fact that this bitch got AWAY with it despite not even acting in a remotely stable way comparable to himself in the first movie in the 10 years he supposedly dropped off the map from all of his friends because, clearly, hermann hadn't seen him or he wouldn't be so excited with a picture of the two of them on his desk, nor would he have to tell newton about his idea for rocket thrusters with kaiju blood fuel because he would have simply written to him about it. for some strange reason people see his ass show up decked out in a suit he wouldn't even wear for Stacker Fucking Pentecost and a behavior of "Haha Gotta Listen To The Boss" and think "ah, yes, well, time changes a person. THIS BITCH HAS APPARENTLY BEEN LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME, YOU THINK HE GOT A JOB WITH LIWEN LOOKING AND ACTING LIKE HE DID BEFORE AND THERE WAS A SHIFT OVER TIME? NO, HE HAD TO HAVE CHANGED IN A SPLIT DECISION AND LIED ABOUT HIMSELF THROUGH HIS TEETH AND NO ONE CONTACTED HIM, OR WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM, OR DECIDEDLY THOUGHT "YOU KNOW, HE MAY BE EMBOLDENED THAT HE SAVED THE WORLD, BUT I THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD HAVE THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT ON HIM AND HE WOULD DO HIS BEST TO AMPLIFY HIS CURRENT STANDING TRAITS. LISTENING TO AND KISSING THE BOOT OF AUTHORITY FIGURES? DIVORCING HIMSELF FROM HIS WORK WITH KAIJU XENOBIOLOGY THAT EVEN HERMANN PICKED UP? TO BECOME THE THING HE HATES? AND FOR WHAT? MONEY? FAME? BITCH WHO ARE YOU?" unreasonable. ridiculous attempt to do this just for a plot twist that was underwhelming at best. i've decided to stick to the fan theory that he was not in control 99% of the time but literally that movie causes such a hellfire path to appear in my wake as i think about it because i know people who don't take it like that and think newt wants what's happening because "haha horny kaiju man" and i wish to scream at the top of my lungs because this is exactly WHY you CANNOT spare ANY EXPENSE to the GOOD, PROPER, INTRICATE directing and writing of a character who is neurodivergent and also ONE OF THE CENTERS OF NOT JUST THE MOVIE YOU'RE WRITING, BUT THE FUCKING MOVIE AFTER THAT. i could go on but i sincerely don't fucking want to, despite how long i've been waiting for someone to willingly hear me out on all of this. all i'll say is if by some miracle they are greenlit for a third film and deknight's working on it and i see ANY sign of a bury your gays end for newt, i'm going to commit the first hate crime against a cishet white male.

to end, the only valid kaiju in that movie was the mega-kaiju, i don't remember the appearance or the names of the three that got through the breaches but the mega-kaiju could kill me and i'd die happy 🥰 beautiful design, that scale comparison when it came face to face with newt? amazing, chills, *chef's kiss* there are exactly two things i liked about uprising and that bitch is one of them.

sorry if this isn't what you wanted, but as i said i am in a bit of a bad mood and have been curled up in bed trying not to think that i'm dying and i've repressed all of this for a couple months now and very few people have actually heard PORTIONS of my frustration so. here it is.

#rowboat speaks #i'm gonna go puke now #or just. fall asleep on the bathroom floor or something. #pacific rim #pacific rim uprising

[blueluneacy]

Fairytale Beasts

Happy Halloween month, I wrote werewolf kira. Im back baby. I have a bunch of half finished drafts im working through, so hopefully content will come out soon. anyways warnings for this are just like, dub con i guess? theres no nsfw it just gets suggestive towards the end. also id consider him a yandere in this but thats just me Also on AO3!

You always had to remind yourself that fairytales weren’t real. You always seemed to have your head in the clouds, looking out the window, imagining how you would be swept off your feet by your prince charming. Not that that day would ever come. You always told yourself you had to focus, to work hard, and maybe someday, you could get married. But for now, you had to focus on your office job. You had to. You couldn’t get yelled at by your boss for a third time over daydreaming. Sure, it was boring, meaningless work, but you still had to do it. You had to pay the bills somehow. So, you did so, trying to ignore the stories forming in your head.

You had always been like this, ever since you were a child. It was hard not to be some hopeless romantic in such a dreary world. To fall hopelessly in love was something tons of people wanted, wasn’t it? You couldn’t help but sigh, even as you got up and pulled out your outdoor shoes to head out to lunch. 

It really was a nice day out. You smiled as you looked around, giving yourself the time to stare at the sky, to think about how nice hot coffee would be right now, with foam and maybe some caramel, or even-

You didn’t even realize you crashed into someone until you were on the ground. You cried out as your butt hit the ground, the pain of it causing you to come out of your haze. You saw the man you bumped into, and gasped. He was… Gorgeous, to say the least. You were doing your best to keep yourself from falling completely head over heels right there. You weren’t sure why you were so entranced, but just looking at him made you blush. From his golden hair, to the way his suit fell over his shoulders, to the expression of annoyance on his face. You noticed that annoyed last, and scrambled back, wincing slightly at the pain in your tailbone. 

“Um, I’m sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going, I’ll be more careful next time!” You were scrambling around for your bag, trying to pick up the things that had fallen out of it. You were too busy with your own thoughts to remember to zip it up. When you finally looked back at him, you noticed a hand in your face, raised to you. He was already standing, looking down at you. You gingerly took his hand, noticing how warm it was. 

“Do you feel alright? You looked like you were in pain.” He asked, and you quickly drew your hand back once you realized you were still holding it. “Oh, me? I’m fine, just a little bruised!” You told him, laughing a bit. He gave you an odd look, one you couldn’t quite understand, then sighed.

“Then, do you need me to walk you home? You might get yourself more injured.” He asked, and you just squeaked as your heart skipped. What a gentleman… It was like the fairytale in your mind was coming true at last. But, you didn’t just give in, hoping in this stranger’s arms and asking him to take you to your happily ever after. You couldn’t, there just wasn’t enough time in your lunch break. “Oh, sorry, I’m actually on my lunch break right now… I um, I should actually get going.” You told him, looking at the ground, but he just smiled at you. You were so perfect. The way your eyes lit up was absolutely adorable. He supposed he could play with you for a little while. It would tie him over before his cravings started again.

“Then, would you like to eat lunch together? There’s a nice park we can sit at just a few minutes from here.” When he asked, you just knew you were screwed. You felt the blush rise in your face, and you just nodded dopily, giggling a bit. The man smiled at you, trying to keep back from squeezing too tightly as he took your hand and led you to the nearby park.

The two of you sat down under a tree in the shade. He finally introduced himself, and you just smiled, stumbling over your words. You felt the blush rise in his face, but he just laughed. He seemed to be good natured about everything. You felt yourself wanting to know more about this man, the man who’s name seemed to ring through your head like the chiming of bells.

Yoshikage Kira, just who are you?

He talked little more than face value about himself, instead asking your questions of some of the deepest nature.

“Where did you grow up?” “What kind of things scare you?”

“Are you so nervous around everyone?” 

The answers you gave proved to be adequate to Kira, and you sighed in relief. After all, each word that Kira spoke to you seemed to pry its way into your soul, causing the butterflys in your stomach to flutter even more. You felt like if things continued this way, you were either going to throw up on your newfound crush or faint from your rising body temperature. But, as all good things do, the lunch came to an end.

“Ah, I have to get back to work.” Kira looked at his watch and stood up, holding out his hand to help you up. You saw the time on his watch and squeaked. You were already 5 minutes late. He just smiled and laughed at you again.

Kira escorted you back to your office after lunch was over, and you assumed that was the end. Your fairytale was finally over. But, then, you saw him again the next week, and he ended up walking you home from work. You offered him to come inside and have some tea, but he just waved you off.

“I really shouldn’t stay out late.” 

Then, another time, it was a grocery store, where you stumbled right into his arms after tripping over some boxes.

“You do have a habit of falling into my arms, don’t you?”

Then, there was the coffee incident, where you ran into him at the same cafe you like to go to, and ended up completely ruining his shirt with iced coffee. You spent the next half hour trying to clean it with tissues.

“It’s really fine, dear. You don’t have to worry, I can take care of this.” The pet name he called you made your head spin, and you looked away, hoping to conceal how embarrassed you were.

“But, the stain…” You mumbled. “I’ll take it care of it. Besides, aren’t you late?” He asked, and you cringed. You were certainly going to get yelled at for this one.

“I, well, yes, but… I just want to try and fix my mistake…” You told him sheepishly, turning to run away. You wanted to get away from him before tears started flowing. But, as you tried to walk away, you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, (y/n). It was an accident. I don’t blame you for anything.” He told you, and you whimpered slightly, nodding. You refused to speak, for fear that your voice would crack and reveal how upset you really were. “So don’t worry about it, alright? It was actually… Nice to see you fuss over me like that.” You quickly turned to him, shocked at how serious he was. You felt yourself laugh, and he looked away, pink starting to dust his face.

“Hey, I’m serious. Don’t laugh at me.” He said with a slight pout. You wiped away some tears that started to fall, and smiled. “Hey, Kira, when’s your next day off?”

And so, your fairytale continued. You ended up at a teahouse, talking and laughing. It felt like a dream come true. He even asked for your phone number so he could schedule something with you again. 

One date became two. Then three, and four, until finally, the two of you felt like a real couple. Kira was cool, tender, everything you wanted in a boyfriend. Your coworkers told you that they noticed how light and airy you were when you worked, even if you still made as many infractions as you did before. But, there was one thing wrong with your happy relationship.

“I can’t. I told you, I don’t like nights.” That was it. Kira would only meet with you during sun up. At night, he absolutely refused, no matter what. A movie? Well, there was a matinee, wouldn’t that work? Who needs to drink together, isn’t the teahouse fine? If you want, we could have an early dinner or a late lunch! It was a bit irritating, but you put it off. After all, he was your boyfriend. Maybe he was just a private person, or busy. Still, it haunted you. What was the man whom you loved so much hiding from you?

Yoshikage Kira, who really are you?

You felt bad about doing it, you really did. He tended to walk home alone in the fall, as to make sure he was home by sundown. You shouldn’t be following him without permission, you knew that. But god damn it, the man never even told you his address, even though he had been at your house countless times. So, you followed him, watching how he walked up to his own doorstep, unlocked his door, and went inside. And… That was it. Nothing else happened. You watched the house as the sun went down, but still, nothing. You sighed, feeling horribly guilty. Kira trusted you to respect his space, and here you were, spying on it. You stood up from your hiding spot to go home. Maybe you would be in time to watch some TV before going to bed. This was a bust, and you couldn’t help but feel bad about it. But, as you began to walk away, you heard it.

Maybe it was your imagination. But you swore, it had to be real. The sound of shattering glass, falling furniture, and… Some sort of animal? It sounded almost like a howl. Maybe Kira had a dog? You turned back, walking over to the house until you finally got to the front door. You paused at the door, looking and thinking. Should you really do this? The sound, it was… Could Kira be hurt? And if he was… What would happen if you did nothing? Even so, what if he hated you now? 

Perhaps it was a risk worth taking.

You opened the door slowly, finding it unlocked, and entered the house. You swallowed as you took your shoes off, entering slowly and quietly.

“Hey, Yoshikage? I, uh, I was…” You had no idea what to say. At least you made your presence known. You entered the house slowly, wincing as you hear the wood creak with your every step. You finally reached the living room, finding an absolute mess. A book shelf was thrown onto the floor, and the couch cushions were completely torn. You looked over at the pile of fuzz, turning your head back to the wall where you believed the bookshelf once took. The wall was covered in… “Are these… Claw marks?” You whispered to yourself, leaning in to touch the now ruined wall, only to feel large hands push into you, grabbing your arms. One was pinned behind your back, while the other was against the wall. You screamed and squirmed, feeling hot breaths start to reach your ear.

“Is that… (y/n). You’re here. I could smell you the minute you walked in the door.” You were shocked and started to squirm.

“Yoshi, w-what’s going on? Let me go!” You cried out, but his grip only got tighter. You felt sharp nails, no, claws, start to dig into your wrists, and you turned back to try and look at your boyfriend. He seemed to have grown in height and strength, and you noticed hair all over him, a sharp contrast from the clean cut man you knew.

“I told you not to come here. I told you I couldn’t see you at night!” He was growling at this point, angry. You felt your wrists start to bleed, and you cried out. The blood did not go unnoticed by Kira, who started to sniff the air before leaning in closer to the wrist pinned to your back. You tried to crane your neck back to see what he was doing, but all you could see what Kira’s torn up clothes, fur that seemed to be all over him, and you even noticed a tail that started to wag as soon as you felt it. Kira examined your bleeding wrist, and lapped up the blood, even getting between your fingers a bit. 

“You… You can’t… No one can know.” He told you, and you just whimpered, squirming more. “Y-Yoshi, please let me go, what’s going on?! Please, tell me.” You were shocked and horrified at what was happening. This is not the fairytale you had expected to find yourself in. Your boyfriend was supposed to be your prince, your knight in shining armor. Instead, you had seemed to find a beast in his place. 

“I warned you. I so desperately tried to warn you.” He seemed almost sad, but only for a moment, before he finally turned you around to face him, his rage for betraying his trust coming back. You were… Shocked. You saw those sharp teeth, the smell of your own blood on his breath, and you just couldn’t deny it anymore.

“Y… You’re not my boyfriend. Y… You can’t be!” You cried out, squirming once again, trying to free yourself from his grasp. He let out a laugh, one that you used to love, but now was leaving you horrified.

“You don’t believe it’s me? Really now? And after all the time we’ve spent together.” He told you, leaning in give a tentative kiss on your neck. You gasped, looking at him with shock. He still smelled like his usual cologne.

“Y-Yoshikage… Please, Yoshi…” You whimpered, but he just continued, giving a new nips to test his boundaries. 

“I told you. I tried to keep you out of this. But I can make this work. We can make this work.” He told you, and you cried out as you felt him bite into your neck, drawing blood. He gasped happily, moving to lap at your neck once again. He let out a hum, obviously pleased.

“If you came in when I was any hungrier, I might have torn you apart. You should feel lucky…” You felt his hands start to run all over your body, his claws starting to hang on parts of your clothing and tear them slightly. You tried to protest, clothes were expensive after all, but you would be quickly cut off by your Kira’s lips meeting yours, immediately forcing his tongue inside your mouth. He quickly forced you into submission, and even worse, you could feel yourself starting to want more. You let out a small moan as Kira pulled away and nipped at your lip. You hoped that he wouldn’t hear, but his keen ears flicked at the sound, and he just grinned.

“You like that? How crude of you. You know,” He tore your shirt off completely, you squeaking before it turned into a moan as he moved a clawed hand to your nipple.

“Originally, I was planning on eating you. I never planned on getting so attached… But I noticed how beautiful your fingers looked holding your lunch… And I became obsessed.” He told you, and you looked at him, a bit shocked.

“And now… Now that you’ve seen me… You can never leave me. Isn’t that wonderful?” He asked. You whimpered and just looked away. He… Killed people? You had always heard about the women who went missing in this town, but… It couldn’t really be him, could it? For the first time, you truly felt like you knew what terror was.

However, Kira wouldn’t take your silence. He simply scooped you up, and threw you onto the torn up couch, climbing on top of you. He quickly regained his spot at your neck, laughing once again. His body was just so hot, but it couldn’t stop your body from shaking in fear.

“You’re trembling… Hmm… Well, no matter…” He gathered up your wrists and pinned them above your head, looking down at you as if you were nothing more than a hunk of meat to him. In a way, perhaps that’s all you were. The look in his eyes was something you could only describe as feral and completely deranged.

“After all, I have forever to make you mine.”

#yoshikage kira #yoshikage kira/reader #jjba #jjba/reader #jjba x reader #yoshikage kira x reader #werewolf au #yandere x reader #yandere/reader #writing

[marvelmymarvel]

Sniper’s Lover

Marcus x Reader

Synopsis: When Marcus is asked to take out you, Winston’s daughter who he has never met, he doesn't think twice before taking the assignment. But once he sees you through the scope, things change and he begins to fall in love with you. 

A/N: I don't know his last name and it freaking sucks, but!!! Marcus doesn't get enough love tbh and I loveeeee Willem Dafoe. It's based heavily off of Marcus protecting John during the first movie in case you were wondering!

It was simple, simpler than any of his other assignments. Kill the girl... So why was this so damn hard? Marcus grunted before pulling back from the scope as he began to watch you with his own two eyes. You weren’t far away and it was easy to see that you had your guard down, he could kill you effortlessly. His marine training and assassin background made kills like this as simple as slicing bread, yet he couldn't do it.

He couldn’t kill you.

“I don't even know who the hell you are...” Marcus whispered before falling back onto his ass. Licking his fingers, he began to unscrew the silencer from the top of his rifle, trying to calm the agitated feelings that rumbled under his skin. You were just some stupid girl... He chanted in his brain as he put his gun away. This wasn't the first time that he was unable to kill you, no... 

This would be the fifth.

He remembered when he first got this offer 2 months ago, he didn't hesitate taking it. The price tag over your head was 2 million, something that Marcus could take and retire with. The people who wanted you dead stated that the reason was to get to Winston and since Marcus didn't have any close ties to Winston, this wasn’t a problem. 

That was until he saw you. 

Pulling out his phone, his finger hovered over the bosses name, contemplating if he should tell them he couldn’t do it but then realization dawned on him. If he doesn't kill you, which he knew he couldn't, someone else would. The thought of someone harming you sent an anxious shockwave through his chest. Why did he care so much for you?! A girl he didn't even know!! Your giggle rose up along the buildings and hit his ears like musical notes. 

You always sounded so sweet.

He shook his head violently before scratching at his face anxiously, he had to get you out. He had to take you out, because if he didn't... Someone else would and he didn't know what he would do if you were killed, by him or someone else. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he decided one thing. He would continue watching you through the scope of his sniper rifle.

But he would protect you with it.

The clubs music pounded in your ears as you made your way through the fog on the ground. You had lost your friends hours ago and now wanted to get away from the grinding bodies. “Excuse me” you hollered to the guy next to you as you grabbed his arm. His eyes were hooded and you knew he was definitely on some sort of drug by the way he sluggishly smiled at you. “Can you point me to the exit?” you pressed, not really afraid of someone like him. Dealing with assassins 24/7 all your life made you rough on the edges, men like him were nothing but pansies. “I can point you the way to my cock princess” he purred before grabbing your hip and ripping you towards him. You rolled your eyes before shoving him back sharply, your strength was unexpected and he went tumbling to the ground. You started to walk away before he stood up and screamed after you.

“ты заплатишь за эту суку“ (You’ll pay for this bitch).

Your eyebrow shot up in surprise as you heard the all too familiar Russian words fall from his lips. Turning your head, you sent him a sharp glare. “Не эта сука” (Not this bitch) you snarled before turning back towards the newly found exit and heading towards it. You could sense that he was following you and you fumbled with the knife on your side, not another one of these. With knife in hand, you switched the blade out and pushed the door open. Your thin heels hit the concrete as you pulled your coat closer to your body. You saw your Porsche parked 15 feet from you, home free-

You were shoved into the hood of your car, your switchblade flying form your fingers and clattering against the concrete. Strong hands flipped you around and you saw that it was, in fact, the man from the club pinning you down.  

“Я преподам тебе урок уважения, детка“ (I will teach you a lesson in respect, baby) his smooth Russian words flowed from his lips and in another time and place, you would have found it attractive. “Иди к чёрту“ (Go to Hell) you threatened back through gritted teeth as your legs flew up, trying your best to shove him off. His fist connected with your jaw, causing you to cease your movement as stars circled around you. Blinking rapidly, you looked up at him as he threw another punch, and then another. 

“Ты просто сука“ (You’re just a bitch) he snarled as he threw you back onto the hood. You could feel the blood in your mouth but didn't know if it was from your nose, your mouth, or both. He pulled away and turned around with his two other friends and all three began to walk away, leaving you disheveled and broken. You really should have just stayed silent.

“Не твоя сука“ (Not your bitch) you snapped with a small bloody smirk, you meant for it to be silent, but once you saw the man freeze, you knew you were dead. He turned back, his eyes blazing with rage under the street lamps. He began to storm over, fist raised and Russian curse words flowing from his angry lips. You closed your eyes and shoved your face in your arm, hoping he would kill you quickly.

The sound of a gun caused you to cringe back on the hood of the car, but once you heard the man's body fall, you realized the gun wasn't from him. Looking up from your arm, you saw the man lying on the concrete as blood poured from his skull. Looking up, you saw the two other men running away but soon, they two went down with gunshots in their head. You stood up straighter, wiping the blood from your mouth as you looked around, trying to find the source of the shooter. Realizing it wasn't someone on the ground, you raised your eyes and barely caught a shadow retreating from the building above. You had known there was a sniper following you ever since the first day you saw him two months ago, but you didn't think he would protect you.

“Thanks” you whispered up into the shadows, hoping that one day you would meet the man who couldn’t seem to kill you but protected you instead. A hiss flew from your lips as you grabbed your jaw, finally starting to feel the aftereffects of the blows. Grabbing the keys in your pocket and the blade on the ground, you got into your car and took off towards the one place you knew you were safe.

The Continental.

“Holy shit! You look like hell!!” Addy proclaimed as she grabbed your face softly in her hands. “Where’s my father” you pressed wincing from even her light touch. Addy pulled her hand away at your wince and motioned over towards his usual spot, “He’s right over there, let me get you some whiskey... Your usual?” she talked quickly and you hardly heard her question over the pounding in your head but you nodded, knowing full well that she was going to try hard to numb your pain. Turning, you almost ran into a body and looked up to see a somewhat familiar face looking at you worriedly, “Excuse me” you mumbled as you pushed past him. You could feel him watching you as you weaved through the crowd, but you didn't care.

“She’ll be okay Marcus” Addy said to the man who was watching you. He hummed and handed her his empty glass. She grabbed the glass and frowned at the look he was shooting your way. “Since you look so worried about her, why don't you bring her her drink?” Addy commented knowingly as she slid your drink into his hand. He nodded at her thankfully before grabbing the glass of whiskey and weaving his wave towards where you were sitting with your father.

“He just punched me over and over again... But someone killed them” you stated firmly as he used his white napkin to dab lightly at the blood dripping down your chin. You only had your father and he only had you, so seeing you in this state made him nervous. He knew someone wanted you dead, but for the past 2 months its been very quiet.

“I’m very sorry what has happened to you” 

Your head snapped up to the newcomer before realizing it was the man at the bar. “Marcus... What a surprise” your father chirped before handing you the now bright red napkin and shaking the man, Marcus’s hand. “Hello, Winston and...” Marcus trailed off as he turned his attention to you. You noticed a glimmer in his blue eyes causing your heart to race.

“This is my daughter, Y/n... I only recently brought her into the limelight but I’m slowly starting to regret it as you can see” Your father joked, but Marcus didn't see the humor in it as he examined your bruising face. “Mind if I sit?” he cut in as he looked at your father firmly, almost stating that he deserved to sit just from the look. “Go ahead... Listen, I have to go handle some business, do you mind watching after her until I get back?” your father asked as he began to stand. Marcus nodded and before you could even argue, your father was gone.

And you were left alone with Marcus.

Looking over, you smiled softly at him before dabbing under your nose once more, silently praying that it would stop bleeding. The silence overtook you both as you looked in the metal plate at yourself. Nothing you were doing was helping and you became frustrated. Your fist balled up in pain as the other hand’s fingers tried to find the bleeding source.

“Here. Let me help you”

Marcus’s fingers pushed yours away as his other hand raised your chin up so he could see better in the dark bar. You let out a groan as his fingers felt up your nose before finally finding a spot and clamping down. “Ow!” you hollered out and he just shushed you sweetly as the fingers resting on your chin moved down to cup your jawline so as to hold you firmly in place. “What exactly are you doing” you stated but because of the clamped nose, it came out nasally and annoying. A smile formed on Marcus’s face at the pitched sound and shook his head to hide his giggles. “I’m trying to stop the bleeding that's by the broken bone, I have to set it in order to stop the bleeding completely, but I need your permission-”

“Do it.” You cut in sharply, just wanting this to be over. You would be lying if you said that you didn't find the older man attractive and alluring but you bleeding all over his hand had to be putting him off. “Okay...” he trailed off as both hands moved up to the broken nose bone, “One. Two. Three”

“FUCK” you screamed out as the bone snapped back into place. The pain traveled down your neck and to your chest, making you feel like you couldn’t breathe right. Pulling back, you hovered your hand over your nose, not realizing that all around you were eyeing Marcus as if he had hurt you on purpose. Once you pulled your hand away, and they saw the blood around your nose, they soon realized what he had done and moved along. 

“I’m sorry darling... Here, Addy made you your drink, it should help the pain-”

His head snapped to you sharply as you grabbed the glass before he could finish. Downing the warm liquid, you felt it burn your throat and for a split second, it masked the pain in your head. He was impressed but slightly concerned as you had downed it without cringing. Slamming the glass down, you threw your hand up so Addy could see you signaling for another. She nodded at you as she stopped the current drink she was making to make your drink first. 

“So, wanna help me ignore the pain?” you cooed playfully as your hand fell on top of his, it was meant to be a joke but you couldn’t ignore the jolt of lightning that traveled to your stomach. He laughed lightly before grabbing the napkin in front of him and dipping it in a water glass. “How about we clean you up... And then we will see-”

You giggled playfully as you leaned in so he could wipe the blood away, seeing you through the scope was one thing, but up close you were breathtaking. He was glad he never made a shot at you, he was glad he killed those men tonight. Your eyes narrowed as you took in his features, trying to place him where you saw him before.

“Holy shit... You’re the sniper that's been following me” 

He froze as his eyes flicked up to yours. Was he breathing? It didn't feel like he was breathing. “I can explain-”

“You protected me tonight” you cut him off before he could keep going. Your hands cupped his cheeks and he looked at you in both confusion and worry. “Who sent you to kill me?” 

There it was. The question he hoped would never be asked, however, unlike most cases, he told you immediately. The name of the guy who hired him made you nod in understanding as if you knew about this from the very beginning. “Thank you for not going through with it” you whispered shakily as your thumb ran up and down his cheek sweetly. To be honest, you grew accustomed to your protector on the roof. At first, you were scared but realized that he would never harm you. “I’m so sorry I took the assignment... But I couldn’t hurt you and the thought of someone hurting you was too much so I still followed you. I know its wrong, I know I sound creepy but I-”

Your lips slamming against his silenced him immediately. He was shocked at first but closed his eyes and kissed back eventually. Pulling back, you smiled at him softly. “I have a secret to tell you Marcus” you whispered while pressing your forehead against his. He cocked his head, signaling for you to continue. “I knew you were following me... I knew who you were... And I knew you were there to protect me... And I have a thing for protective men let me tell ya” you purred seductively as you slid your body closer to his in the booth. 

“My father sent his men to watch you as you watched me... Hell, I just had to match the face with the name” you continued as your hands rested on his chest playfully. He cracked a smile at you before regaining his courage once more. “Do you like what you see?” he asked quietly in your ear causing a shiver to run down your spine. He pulled back and saw your shit-eating grin.

“I love it”

#marcus imagine #marcus imagines #john wick marcus imagine #john wick marcus imagines #willem dafoe #marcus john wick #john wick (2014) imagine #John wick imagine

[dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade]

Blanket

Request: Can I have an imagine with Josh where maybe the reader has been stressed trying to balance work and school and maybe hasn’t been taking care of herself very well? Maybe taking snacks here and there instead of eating full means, having anxiety, and getting a short temper from stress and sleep loss? @livingdeadharley, this one goes out to you! Hope you like it, honey! Word count: 1,8K+ Warnings: none, just some fluff To be added to the (permanent) taglist, DM me or send an ask. Requests are open. Fanfiction masterpost

Josh Kiszka x (female) Reader

You just came back to your apartment that you shared with your boyfriend of almost two years, Josh. You had had a long shift at work that drained all of your remaining power from the morning classes at university.

You put your backpack on the chair in the kitchen and looked for the light switch.

“Josh?” you called out to check if your boyfriend was in your room watching movies or if he went out.

“Yeah babe?” you heard his muffled voice back. His words were followed by a loud thud coming from your room and you heard Josh’s steps against the wooden floor. In no time he turned on the light in the hallway, making you squint your eyes at the sudden burst of light.

Once your pupils adjusted, you looked at Josh and smiled faintly. He was staying only in his shorts and socks, with a blanket over his shoulders. That man was acting so childish from time to time, even though he was two older than you, but you loved him. You loved his spirit and his gentle soul and the way he made you feel.

“What?” he asked smiling, while approaching you. “Don’t you like my new look?” he asked and made a twirl in front of you.

“I love it, you know that,” you answered. Even your voice was faint from the exhaustion. Trying to balance school and work seemed impossible and you were watching your friends who seemed to have it all under control and perfectly planned it out and the anxiety in you just grew at the thought that you were the only one who hasn’t discovered the secret behind an easy and successful lifestyle.

“Then, what’s wrong?” he asked and pouted his bottom lip.

You bit your own lip softly, and felt the dryness of them as you remembered you have barely drank any water that day. “Nothing, I am just tired.”

You passed by Josh and reached up in the cupboard for a granola bar and tore open the plastic covering it. You sat down on a chair as you took a bite out of it.

You have been so moody lately due to the increasing stress in this period of time and lack of sleep to study for your exams. You barely ate. You were basically living off of snacks (mostly granola bars and Snickers) and caffeine. And not to talk about your temper; you were almost always either angry at school, either at your boss.

“Baby, come on, why won’t you have a meal? Even a fast food would be good, I bet life feels so tasteless with all those granolas,” Josh spoke, approaching you and trying to lighten up your mood.

“Josh, please,” you look at him with tired eyes. You felt yourself about to throw another tantrum in front of him. It would’ve been the third one in the last few days. You were feeling sorry for Josh that he had no other choice but live with it.

“Y/N, please, I can’t stand watching you do this to yourself,” Josh spoke to you.

“Listen, I don’t have the time to have a full meal, alright? And if I had the time, I wouldn’t have the energy to do it!” you raised your voice and put the half-eaten bar back into its plastic bag and pushed it on the table. “Why won’t you go have a meal by yourself?”

Josh’s eyes gleamed in the faint light in the room. You were sorry for snapping at him. He was just trying to be there for you.

“Babe, come on,” he spoke as he softly grabbed your hand in his. You could feel the warmth of his body through his hand and you could both feel and see the love in his heart for you in his eyes and actions. “How about having a shower and watch a movie together? I think that would help. And you can call in sick for tomorrow at work, it’s Saturday after all.”

You nodded silently as you proceeded to have a long shower that you hoped that would help you release the stress. Right after you dried off and changed in your pajamas, you walked in the bedroom you shared with Josh. He wasn’t in the middle of the bed, looking at the screen, nor at the shelf full of DVD’s of his favorite movies.

You walked in the kitchen where you last seen him and saw two empty plates set on the table and Josh sitting next to the cooker.

“Have a seat, on tonight’s menu we have scrambled eggs since they are the only thing I can cook and chocolate and strawberry pancakes, your favorites!” Josh smiled as he saw you in the door frame.

You walked slowly next to Josh and looked at him in awe. You were so grateful for having him in your life. “Josh, I am sorry for being an asshole,” you admit and look at the ground.

“It’s alright, love,” he smiled and pecked your forehead. “I know you’re just exhausted, but this is no excuse for not looking after yourself.”

Josh took the pan off the cooker and walked to the table and evenly distributed between the two plates the scrambled egg. The two of you sat down at the table and ate. Your stomach was grateful for finally receiving some real food. After the main course, the pancakes followed. Josh knew they were your secret addiction so he prepared you an extra portion.

After all the food was done with, Josh proposed that the two of you would see a movie, so you went to your room and hopped in the bed, while Josh searched for a DVD.

“Rebel without a cause?” you heard Josh’s muffled voice.

“Nah, I have seen it recently. What else?”

“Forrest Gump?”

“I love that one! Yes!”

Josh put in the DVD and hopped in the bed, next to you. He still had that little blanket on his back, covering his bare back. This little detail made you smile once again.

Josh put an arm around your shoulders and you cuddled closer to his chest. You could smell the faint scent of his usual cologne.

“Josh, I love you,” you whispered, your voice slightly muffled.

“I love you too, baby,” he whispered back, pressing his lips softly onto yours. His voice sent a pleasant shiver through you. “Are you cold?”

With a swift move, he moved the blanket off his back onto yours, with this action completely hugging you to his chest. You reached over with your arms and tried to circle his back and the two of you just ended up looking like a loose burrito.

Josh flipped you over, so now he was leaning down over you, maintaining his balance with the help of his elbow. “You are so beautiful.”

You truly were so damn lucky to have Josh. Most of the time, Josh couldn’t even express in real words the strong love that he carried in his heart for you and you only. He told you all the time how much he loved you, but he always felt that didn’t sum up all of the feelings for you, that it was just a ‘summary’ of them, that’s why he wrote short poems and songs for you all the time. In that moment he was looking at you like you were his everything, and reality is that you really were.

At this point, none of you were even paying any attention to the movie on the screen. You looked up in Josh’s eyes and kissed his lips softly, leaving out a small and happy hum in the kiss.

“Will you promise me something?” Josh whispered while letting himself get closer to your body.

“What is it?” you smiled in the dim light coming from the TV.

Run, Forrest, run! you heard from the TV. Josh snapped his head for a brief moment, then turned to you again. “That you will take care of yourself. I don’t want to see you this way, it breaks my heart,” he admitted.

“I promise I will do my best.”

Josh was content with your answer and proceeded to covering your face in small kisses as he collapsed next to you once again. Your hand traveled to his curls and started rolling strands on your fingers, unconsciously. This was your favorite thing to do when he laid next to you. His hair was so soft all the time and you loved it and you knew that he enjoyed it too.

Josh moved his head on your shoulder as he watched the screen. His hand searched for yours and found it underneath the blanket that he had given you. You could feel his warm, soft skin on yours and the warmness spread on your hand as he interlocked your fingers.

You cuddled closer to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Oh my God, I love how Forrest goes all the time back to Jenny!” you spoke towards the end of the movie, eyes in tears, knowing exactly what will come next.

Josh felt the way you started to get emotional, so he squeezed your hand harder and kissed your temple. “Don’t you cry, angel,” he spoke to you in a hushed voice, but your body tensed up at the last shots of the movie and let a tear run down. You always found it interesting how you could get emotional at a movie you have seen so many more times before.

Josh must have felt the tear landing on his wrist, because he looked at you as the credits started rolling on the screen. “Love, don’t.”

You pressed your lips onto his, surprised by your forwardness in doing so. “What scares me the most is that I don’t know when I will wake up and you won’t be there,” you sniffled, washed over by a wave of sadness.

“But I will be here. Forever,” Josh spoke to you, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“How can you be so sure? Forever is a long time.”

“Because we are two souls who met each other and bonded over genuine feelings of love. You can’t break that bond. It’s unique and it’s unbreakable,” he whispered in your ear.

His voice soothed you and managed to stop your silent sobs. You found yourself cuddling him once again, wrapping your arms around his body. You placed your head on his bare chest and stayed that way, in a comfortable silence, for a long time, just listening to his heartbeat, while Josh occasionally ran his palm up and down one of your arms.

“Baby, do you want to hear something?” Josh whispered in the now dark room. You just hummed in response. Josh took in a deep breath, and the next thing you’ve heard was his angelic voice singing to you a new piece, that you haven’t heard before, while caressing your cheek and smiling at you in the darkness of your room.

You’ve been waiting for your lover, But you’ll discover She’s always there.

Tags: @myownparadise96, @satans-helper, @jeordinevankiszka, @littlegeekwonder, @songbirdkisses, @freeeshavacadoo

#greta van fleet #gvf #greta van fleet fanfiction #gvf fic #gvf fanfic #josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #fanfiction #writing #fluff #gvf fluff

[turdblossommm]

I’ll Fly Away {9}

Summary: You had a rough childhood and are closed off from people in fear of being hurt again. James Barnes is the complete opposite from you, he grew up well and healthy. James Barnes knew how to get what he wants but when he faces the challenge of knowing you will he succeed

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

A/N: I had major writers block during this so it’s kinda rough. Enjoy and send me an ask if you want to be tagged!

part 8 // masterlist

As the sun started to set the older guest moves inside while the younger ones danced under the stars. Crowds made you uneasy and Bucky knew that so he offered to take you on a little stroll through the gardens. Bucky loved the gardens as a child, it was a way for him to escape his family.

You marveled at the hues of the yellows and oranges and how they rested on the greens of the garden. Bucky watched you in wonder, he loved seeing the happiness in your eyes. In the last month or so he’s learned what happiness looks like in your eyes. He could how your eye brightened and more color came to yours face

Watching you interact with all new people with a confidence he’s never seen made his heart flutter. Now watching you bid everyone goodbye behind Annie’s wheel chair he see’s you, he see’s you how everyone should see you, not the timid girl with her nose in a book.

“She’s something isn’t she?” Winny smiled at her son

“She is”

~

You almost snorted all of your milkshake through your nose at Bucky’s joke, the diner was quiet so your laugh echo through the walls. Sarah couldn’t help but smile at how happy you looked and it grew to see Bucky happy. Sarah always thought he worked too hard and it was refreshing to see him doing something for himself

“That joke was terrible” You continued to giggle

“The milkshake all over you face begs to differ” Bucky threw a french fry in his mouth and smirked at you as you rolled your eyes. Everything with Bucky has been easy and even that was an understatement, everything just flowed with Bucky.

He held the same interest as you and could carry on an intellectual conversation and dumb ones too. Like the other day the two of you argued over the possibility of Aqua Man beating The Human Torch, which it was obvious to you that Aqua Man would dominate.

You smiled at him leaning over the table while dipping a fry into his ketchup, never in a million years did you everything you’d be with someone who made you this happy, hell you never thought you’d find a happiness like this.

But there is always that one thing that puts a dent in your happiness and it’s the dead end job you never seem to be able to get away from. You groaned as you rolled off your bed and on to the floor, cursing whoever was knocking on your door this early and by early you mean five minutes before your alarm went off. You ripped open the door and you glared softened when you saw Bucky with pastries and a paper cup probably filled with a latte

“Good morning doll” He kissed you cheek and entered the apartment “ I thought that we could drive out of the city today, maybe go to the beach” Bucky turned back to you saw you still in your pajamas and glasses with your hair piled messily on top of your head

“Bucky I-“

“Or we can stay in and watch a movie or something if you don’t want to leave” You sighed and wrapped your arms around his middle and he followed your actions

“I have to work today, open to close unfortunately” You saw the disappointment in his eyes

“Well at least let me drive you to work then”

“It’s fine I can take the subway” You waved him off, not wanting to waste anymore of his day

“I insist” He smiled and went to start the coffee pot as your alarm went off “Better hurry doll, don’t want to be late” You smiled and quickly pecked his lips and ran for the shower. Soon you were on the road and on your way to the shop and pulling up to the curb. Only a few of you co workers were outside the door waiting for you. You leaned over and kissed Bucky’s lips and you smiled 

“I’ll see you later” You climbed out of the car

“I’ll pick you up” You waved and unlocked the door as he drove away

“Morning” Grace raised her brows

“Not yet, Dave’s going to tell everyone so save it” Grace shook her head with a smile

“All I was going to say is that you seem happier” Grace was one of the older ladies that you worked with, she was one of those no bullshit women which is probably why she liked you best. 

“I am” She gave you another smile

“Now set the damn case”

“Technically I’m the manager and you can’t tell me what to do” You joked and she rolled her eyes at you.  The morning passed quickly as you finished opening and running errands for Luann, when you finally got back you put Steve’s order together and wrote up his bill when Sarah came bounding in the office

“That blonde snack is back with a fucking 10 out of 10 and another hottie, please set me up with one of them” You peaked out of the office and relaxed when you saw it was just Sam and Bucky with Steve. You met Sam the other night at his bar. Your scooped up Steve’s paper work and filled the remaining boxes.

“Your a little early today” You smiled at Steve as he signed his paper work

“Somebody kept bothering me about coming in with me” He gave you a half smile while Bucky’s cheeks turned pink and Sam laughed

“I could never guess who” You smiled

“Mouse I need a manager” Sarah walked over and smiled at the guys and handed you a hundred dollar bill. 

“I’m with a customer please ask Dave, he’s free” You asked politely 

“I’m already here Mouse” You couldn’t believe she was talking back to you right now

“I’ll be right back” You sighed and grabbed the note from her opened the till and placed it under after looking at it in the light

“Do I need to make change for you too” You whispered and she scoffed and shut the till and turned to you

“You need to remember I can have you fired Mouse” She sneered and you walked back to her customer. When you came back you could see concern in Bucky’s eyes and you shook your head telling him not now

“Good thing you brought friends Steve, its a big order this week” You grabbed the cart from the walk in and Steve and Sam grabbed boxes and goodbye

“I’ll see you tonight” You nodded and smiled as he placed a kiss on your cheek, right for Sarah to see. He smiled at you “Bye doll”

“See ya Buck” You smiled shyly and turned to see a fist pump from Grace and a glare from Sarah

“I knew it” Bailey cried from the other side

“Alright back to work ladies” You called

~

Bucky picked you up right on time and drove to Wings, Sam’s bar. You walked in before Bucky since he had to use the bathroom. You quickly walked to the bar avoiding the red head you saw right when you walked in

“Shut the fuck up, Barton is that who I think it is?”

“You bet” Clint smirked

“In a real fucking bar?”

“Sure shit baby” Nat put her drink down and place hands on either side of your face

“My baby is all grown up”

“Barton control your girl”

“Control your best friend” He mocked you into his beer

“She came to the bar all on her own” She placed her hands on her heart “I’m so proud”

“You won’t be in three seconds” You smirked and her smiled dropped and she punched you in the shoulder

“Why are you such a pain in the ass” You pretended to flip your hair 

“Who do you think taught me”

“Bitch” She scoffed

“Whore” You both gasped at the same time

“I’m so sorry” You grabbed her hands

“That hurt” You nodded

“That was too far, forgive me please” Nat nodded, pretending not to cry

“Will there be ice cream with the apology” You nodded

“In your bed with cuddles” She nodded

“I forgive you” You hugged her

“I fucking hate you two” Clint sighed again

“Your just jealous that I will be spooning your girlfriend tonight” You smiled and grabbed your beer from Sam who watched the whole scene play out

“This is your roommate? The I quote ‘the youngest old lady you’ll ever meet’ roommate?” Sam looked at you and you nodded

“I even knit scarves for Christmas presents”

“I want one” Steve chimed in 

“Don’t worry you can have on of my seven” Nat patted his arm

“Hurtful” You glared with a hand on your heart. 

“So why am I going to be mad at you?” Nat asked and you smiled “Y/N he’s my boss, it’s weird”

“Only if you make it weird” You smiled while point at her with finger guns as he sat next to you on the bar stool

“Natasha” He smiled and Nat could barely comprehend him being in jeans and a t-shirt and he hair out of it’s usual man bun

“If you say sir I’ll karate chop you into next week” You whispered 

“James” She nodded stiffly

“Call me Bucky, James is too formal” He ordered a beer and the night continued well into the night.

Taglist:

@skeletoresinthebasement @iamwarrenspeace @youreahandsomedevil @alina-barnes @xi-i-i-whatsyouremergency @ambivalence-is-me @101killer

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky imagine #BUCKY AU #ceo!bucky #Winter Solider #winter solider imagine #winter solider x reader #captain america #Steve Rogers #sam wilson #falcon #marvel #Avengers #white wolf

[nightcoremoon]

there's lots of tiny brained bad takes of the far left branding things as Bad™ based solely on their association to other things or certain aspects of part of their fanbase.

this isn't to discredit the shit idiot brain fungus plaguing everyone from centrists, the moderate right, the far right, and the alt right, and even some of the moderate left, where they label everything that isn't about a Cishet White Male American Capitalist Bootlicker who's stateist, ambiguously christian/atheist, neurotypical, able-bodied, has "aryan" facial attributes, is an insufferable asshole, and the like, as "SJW garbage".

but see, prejudice and judgment is bad even if it's not motivated by minority demographic. being a rude dismissive asshole is, you know, bad. maybe making fun of a furry or whatever isn't as bad as being a racist, but you're still a fucking dickhead either way. fuck both of you but fuck the racist more. I'll punch both of you but punch the racist twice (maybe a third time for good measure). do y'all understand what I'm trying to get at here with the tiers of badness? the shades of grey? the steps down the path of evil from "kind of rude" to "literally hitler"?

bigotry is not the only bad thing in the world. yeah it's one of the worst, but you can talk about other bad things without discrediting that, which I know is next to impossible for teenagers (or people who never bothered to mentally progress from such) to comprehend.

anyway what sparked this is all the fuckin joker memes. now I went into it expecting, you know, literally taxi driver 2 followed by a silly horror movie about a clown murdering people. which is what the joker of the comics is all about. if I never watched the movie and only saw, what, the killing murray scene, the stairway dancing scene, the trailers, and joaquin phoenix sitting in a padded room and laughing, that's exactly what I'd had gotten.

but like. I fucking watched it because my dad wanted to watch it with me and he fucking loves all things batman (except Ben Affleck). and wolverine but mostly batman. he's a comic nerd. so yeah I went to watch it with him.

and it was legitimately terrifying from a purely psychological perspective. it's LITERALLY the best scary movie I've ever seen without being horror in the slightest. the acting, the writing, the score, the pacing, the cinematography, it was well put together without being a moffat level overproduced mess. it was a good movie. you're allowed to not care for it or not like it but to objectively call it a bad movie is not only a logical fallacy (eye of the beholder) but it also discredits the opinion of every single person who didn't hate it and makes you come off as a pompous fucking asshole rather than having different tastes.

it's about a guy with severe mental trauma in a bad situation trying to make the best of it and care for his family and hold down a job but he gets fucked over from literally every angle and eventually he snaps and makes a mistake and kills the misogynist rich asshats on the train. oh fuck. he could have gone to the police and said self defense and go through the court system but wait, society in gotham doesn't allow for a clean system of justice when you aren't rich. so instead he proceeds to be a major creepazoid turned murdering lunatic blaming everyone else for his own bad situation instead of the whole deal where he did stupid shit like taking a gun into a fucking children's hospital and stuck his fingers inside a child's mouth and stealing shit and falling further down the rabbit hole. until finally, he says fuck it and seeks revenge. the whole bloody mess that follows is his own fault. he chose to kill people. he chose to murder for petty reasons. he made his decisions and he suffered the consequences for it. all of the festering rotten crime in the city spawned by waynecorp's supreme negligence heralded him as a hero and so begins batman's story.

arthur fleck is not a fucking hero. he is a villain through and through. his circumstances were unfortunate but he made the wrong decisions. the world fucked him over and he said okay and retaliated. joker is exactly the fucking same as breaking bad. arthur and walter white are both evil people through their own decisions. but they were once normal people. and that's the point. the scariest monsters in the world are usually the white men angry at the world for their own shortcomings. oswald. ruby. dahmer. bundy. gein. manson. klebold and harris. white. fleck. they're all the filth stuck in the gutter of society that, if left unchecked, has deadly results.

I'm not kidding at all when I say joker was an important movie for myself personally to see exactly when I saw it. because that first half, I'm not gonna lie, it got me. the therapy didn't work and then it was taken away. he didn't eat most days because he had to support his mother. the people he worked with were dickheads, the people he commuted with were dickheads, his boss was a dickhead, people treated him like garbage on the streets. he couldn't remember the trauma inflicted on him when he was a baby but it still warped every aspect of his life. he had aspirations but lacked the skills. he was sad. alone. empty. he was suicidal. he was me.

then he started killing people and using the neighbor girl as a tulpa and I realized oh no oh god oh shit OH FUCK I need to change from this. and I did.

joker is a perfect template of how not to react to the world when it kicks in your teeth. it's a perfect template of a dark movie. just enough to sympathize with the bad guy but not enough to excuse his actions. the opposite of star wars with kylo ren. a good movie. a good character. an amazing actor. a terrible person.

if you watched joker thinking you're watching the story of the protagonist, you're right, but if you conflate protagonist with the good guy, yeah you won't like the fucking movie because it'll leave a sour taste in your mouth. you'll feel slimy. disgusting. unless you're a megadouche shitlord piece of human fucking garbage who wants to cosplay arthur fleck because he's so damn cool like walter white and eric cartman and rick sanchez and bojack horseman and tyler durden and all those FUCKING HORRIBLE LOATHESOME HUMANS TO NEVER EVER TRY TO EMULATE OR YOU ARE AN UNEMPHATIC ASSHOLE AND A MORON TO BOOT.

if you hated the movie, that's fine. you're kinda supposed to hate it. and if you loved the movie, that's fine so long as you understand what the message was. but if it's one of your favorite movies of all time ever made holy shit please go to therapy jesus christ.

still the point of this post is, discrediting the movie as a steaming pile of shit is incredibly ignorant. and as for the "good movies made by white men are only liked by other white men and are therefore bad movies" thing... if y'all can thirst over eddie brock in the trainwreck of venom and admit that the standards of good movie vs bad movie are all subjective, you're a goddamn idiot if you can't apply the same logic and reason to every movie just because some white boys like edgy clowns (even tho joker is way less edgy than pennywise but go off) in abusive relationships with harlequins. oh and assflash newshole, I'm not a white man.

I swear this bandwagoning bullshit is exactly the same mentality as "hurr durr nickelback worst band ever" even though nickelback is ripe with musical talent underneath a few pop songs that they wrote for the record label as part of their career so they can make a fuckin living BECAUSE CAPITALISM IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL and also because of all the misogyny that bled its way into the music industry in the 2000s but that's a topic for another day. 'joker bad' and 'nickelback bad' are products of the same mental decay that social media wrought upon us all, inflicting mass mob mentality and incapacity for individualistic rational thought. which is exactly why there's a war between camp 'joker is bad' and 'joker is amazing' and nobody acknowledges the group in the middle that's like 'joker was good objectively but also terrible subjectively and content-wise'. polar. I could make a political statement and also say how the neoliberals and the fascists are at war while the people in the middle are caught in the crossfire and forced to fight like pawns on a chessboard, but the moderate right, dumbass centrists, pastel commies, and pockets of the moderate left, but that just throws everything into chaos.

tl;dr learn to think for yourselves omg

[icannotbeforsaken]

The You’re Mine Saga: Pt. 1 (Hannah’s POV)

Hannah hummed quietly to herself as she dug through a box she had just gotten out of the storage closet. Whilst her darling husband was hard at work with the rest of The Pack, helping Carla build her dream dance studio downtown, she had decided to pull out a box that she had hand painted herself using her two favourite colours, pink and blue. And in a lovely lilac shade, she had hand painted the lyrics to the song You're Mine by her all-time favourite band, Disturbed. It should be no secret that this box contained an array of photos, movie ticket stubs, concert ticket stubs, and other memories that she and Ned had created over the four years they had spent together... So far, anyways... It was a chilly Los Angeles day in December of 2014 when the man who would eventually become her soulmate had entered her life. At the time, she was staying at Lily Stone's mansion in a private, gated community in the Hollywood Hills. Hannah, along with a group of her friends, were taken there for shelter after a man who went by the monicker Diesel 10 had come bursting into The Old Iron, during which time it had been booked for close friends and family of Alfie and Ashley in celebration of their upcoming Christmas Day wedding. Hannah, George, Thomas, and Buster were in the middle of a song when the front door of the pub seemingly burst off of its hinges, and nobody at that moment knew what type of horror they were about to be subjected to... Wielding a barbed wire baseball bat that he had oh-so-affectionately nicknamed Pinchy, Diesel screamed at everyone to line up and get on their knees. He was there for a very specific reason, and that reason was revenge for his deceased wife and daughter. He wanted to know the whereabouts of Lily's parents, Burnett and Lady, and that he wasn't leaving until he knew where the fuck they were. He knew that everyone in the pub were friends with Lily, but, none of them had ever met her parents a day in their lives Lily's excuse was that they were always out of town on one of their luxurious vacations. Burnett had come from a wealthy family, never having to work a day in his life. Despite his wealth, Burnett Stone was a kind, gentle, and humble man who would give you the shirt off of his back. But, it was later found out that Lady was a very powerful Goddess. Her powers included resurgence, teleportation of herself and others, telepathy, as well as uphold the link between the regular world and a special, spiritual world. If that link is broken due to Lady's death, it would be the end of humankind. Diesel had learned about this link while he was visiting Duncans's tattoo shop, where he had overheard Lily communicating with her mother via their telepathic link, and apocalypse be fucking damned, he wanted revenge for his beloved girls... It was after everyone had settled down a bit that Lady had told them the story as to why Diesel wanted her dead so badly. She did give them a warning, since the story was going to be gut wrenching, especially after they had just watched their friends and loved ones go through such unspeakable horror only mere hours before. She didn't want to scar everyone even more, but...nobody cared in that moment. All they wanted to know was why that man chose to attack them in the manner that he did. Injuries. Deaths. Horror that still haunted many of the people who were there that fateful night... But, that's a story for another time... It was a few days after the attack, and Hannah was quietly sitting on the living room couch with Thomas. Regardless of the shit they put each other through during their drug and alcohol fueled "romance," Thomas always has been, and always will be, like a brother to her. They were watching the first, and original, A Nightmare on Elm Street movie, when there was a sudden knock at the door. Lady had mentioned that it was okay if anyone had wanted friends or family over for extra comfort, under the condition that she and Burnett were notified first. They wanted the name and a photo of the person who would be coming over, as well as an estimated day or time. If plans changed, they were to be notified of that, as well. Everyone knew that they were only asking them to do this as an added safety procaution due to the event, and they happily agreed to the conditions. And, since pretty much everyone else who was staying at the mansion were either at work or busy doing other things, Hannah had decided that she was going to answer the door and ask whoever was there what droid they were looking for. In a polite way. Duh... She excused herself from the couch for a second, telling Thomas that she was going to answer the door. She was always good at getting unwelcome people to amscray if need be, and she was more than willing to do so if this whoever - or whatever - was an unwelcomed guest. She sharply inhales as she unlocks the door, before swinging it open. And she was met with the most beautiful specimen of a man she had ever seen in her then twenty five years of life... Standing in the doorway was a man she had never seen before. He stood at a cool 5'10" from what she could tell. He was clad in a faded, black Rush t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and black high-top Converse sneakers. He had shoulder length dark brown hair that had some hints of silver, and the most beautiful shade of green eyes she had ever seen. Her brain must have blue screened for a moment, because the man at the door chuckled and said... "Hey, Sweet Cheeks. I'm here to see Alfie. Is he back from work yet?" Sweet Cheeks. He fucking called her Sweet Cheeks. Jesus H. Christ on a fucking unicycle...Hannah was in love. She had absolutely no idea how this guy knew Alfie, but, she didn't give a fuck in that moment. She manages to collect herself, before telling the mystery hunk that Alfie was indeed home from work and that she would go and fetch him. She tells him to stay outside for now, due to the safety precautions, before turning around and screaming "ALFIE!!! THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!!! IS HE THE DROID YOU ARE LOOKING FOR?!" Hannah could hear the mystery hunk laughing behind her. Dear Odin, he had the laugh of an Angel. It wasn't long until Alfie came sprinting down the stairs, and his face lit up the second he saw who was at the door. Judging by that reaction, this was the droid that he was looking for, but, that was confirmed even more when Alfie had gently shoved past her to give mystery hunk a great, big Bro Hug. Ashley wasn't far behind her husband to be, asking him who was at the door for him. Alfie beams proudly, before turning towards her and saying "Baby, this is Ned! He works with me! He was just on vacation visiting his family in New Jersey! Come and say hi!" Hannah had decided to stand back a bit while Alfie introduced his darling fiancée to his coworker. She stood at the bottom of the staircase, lost in her own thoughts as she stared at Ned. She didn't know what it was, but, there was something about him that caused her to feel an instant attraction to him. And she knew in her head and in her heart that he was her definition of a perfect man...and she didn't even know him! Well... Not yet, anyways... She was still standing on the stairs when Alfie finally allowed him to walk through the door. He must have noticed that she was there, because he looked right over at her and smirked. The smirk caused her heart to drop into her asshole, and it took everything in her power not to physically swoon. Ned then looked at Alfie, and asked him in - well, from what she heard, anyways - the most seductive and orgasm inducing tone... "Hey, Alfie...who's the gorgeous lady with the pink hair?" Alfie side-eyed Hannah for a hot second, and she could see the animosity glistening in his eyes. Alfie has had it out for her ever since her past relationship with Thomas, because he blamed her for his struggles with drugs and alcohol. Thomas was already down that road before they had gotten together, and even Vivian knew that, but...Alfie didn't give a fuck. He pretended to be civil with her for Thomas' sake, but, Hannah could see right through his bullshit façade. But, instead of making a snide remark, he just smiles and says "Oh, her? That's Hannah. She's a family friend. Why don't you go say hi to her? I'm sure she'd love to meet you..." Hannah's heart stopped for a solid second. She wasn't a shy girl by any means. Never was. But...there was no way in Asgard she'd be able to talk to Ned. One thing about her was she always became incredibly awkward whenever she felt even the slightest bit nervous or intimidated. She knew there was no way a guy like him would ever like a girl like her... 5'2" in height. Pastel pink hair. Multiple tattoo's. There was no fucking way he'd ever give her the time of day. Ned looked like the type of guy who would enjoy the company of someone like Isobella, another member of the construction team known as The Pack that Alfie worked for, who is also the oldest daughter of their boss, Miss Jenny. Isobella was a fucking bombshell of a woman. 5'6" in height. Blonde hair. Gorgeous blue eyes. The same belly laugh inducing sense of humour her mother had. But, she was about to be pleasantly surprised by what was to come next...

#not my gif

[imagining-supernatural]

Chapter 1: The Party

Cracks In The Dam Series -- Reader’s POV

She’s a quiet engineering and physics major trying to forget the demons of her past, and he’s the campus playboy trying to turn over a new leaf. Their friendship is unlikely, but just might be forged to withstand the cracks in the dams they’ve built to protect themselves. (BuckyxReader college au)

Word Count: 1875

A/N: I wasn’t going to post this fic for a while, because I’ve been playing around with it for a while and I didn’t want to get locked into a certain storyline, but I just saw Infinity War and I decided I needed a little denial in my life (not a spoiler, but when the credits started rolling, I turned to my friend and whispered, “What the shit?”) So here’s the beginning of a mostly fluffy Bucky fic!

Why do I let him talk me into these things? If I could choose, I’d be spending my Friday night in my room with my music turned loud, hosting my own dance party for one. I definitely wouldn’t choose to be strolling around one of the biggest underground gambling rings in the city, keeping an eye out for some idiot who stole one of Stark’s designs.

Seriously, why do I let him talk me into these things?

Oh, right. Because he pays me the big bucks.

“How much do you think this place costs?” My boss’s voice comes over the comm system he implanted in a diamond barrette fastened in my hair right next to my ear.

“I don’t doubt that you could afford to buy it, but I strongly suggest you find a bit of self-control, Tony. You’re already walking on thin ice with Pepper.”

He just scoffed and I heard him ordering a drink, so I cast my eyes over to the bar and catch sight of him leaning against the glass counter. He flashes a smile at a woman sitting nearby and I can’t hold in my chuckle at how she nearly swoons. Really. The effect Tony Stark has on women baffles me. But, I guess I’m a little biased. After all, the man is like an Uncle to me. He changed my diapers when I was a baby and never lets anyone forget that fact.

“Canary, you spot anyone yet?” He mumbled that into his glass of whiskey so as to not raise suspicion by talking to himself. I turn around and keep up my perusal of the crowd.

Smoke from cigars mixed with the dim lighting makes it difficult to see everyone, but I make do. “I think one of my professors is over there. But other than that, I’m not seeing anyone suspicious.”

I can practically feel Tony rolling his eyes. “He’s not going to look suspicious.”

“I know that Tony. By the way, when my dad told you to keep an eye on me, I don’t think he meant for you to take me to illegal gambling setups and parties with Russian mobsters.”

“Cannie, you knew what you were getting into when you agreed to be my assistant. Besides, how else am I supposed to keep an eye on you?”

“Yeah. An amazing salary and you paying for all of my school. I’m not complaining. Just sayin’.” There was something niggling in the corner of my mind, so I quieted and tried to focus on that. Tony kept babbling through the comm piece, but I tuned him out. It was a necessary skill I’d learned years earlier.

I thought back to the surveillance video he’d shown me of the bump and grab someone had performed on one of his lackeys to steal the new weapon design. Needless to say, the person who lost the design was fired.

“Tony… how sure are you that it was a dude who stole it?”

From the corner of my eye and through the haze of cigar smoke, I saw his eyes slide over to me and his head cock to the side. “Why?”

“There’s a woman over there. The one in the green dress and pearls. Next time she walks around, watch her. She moves like the person did in the video.”

I made my way over to a craps table and pretended to be invested in what was going on. I really hoped that was her. The sooner we got the designs back, the sooner I could get back to my house. It had been a long week with a lot of midterms and homework, and Tony had been especially needy with our big deadline coming up that I needed to help him with, and I just needed two days of pure and utter relaxation.

“You’re right. I’ll get the guys on it. You did good, kid. I’ll meet you out by the car.”

“Oh, thank God,” I breathed, ignoring Tony’s soft laughter. Before heading to the door, I made a stop by the bar and ordered a shot. There was alcohol back at my place, but it wouldn’t hurt to get started on my night right now.

I slowly made my way through the crowd of well-dressed people, sighing heavily with relief once I was out of the sea of diamonds, pearls, and velvet. I may have grown up surrounded by wealth, but I’d learned at a young age that it comes with a high cost. I put up with it for Tony’s sake, but I was anxious to get back to my normal, college life. Or, what I convinced myself was a normal life. Working for Tony Stark, I suppose I would never really know what normal was.

Like a James Bond movie, Tony was leaning against his too-expensive sports car that I honestly didn’t care enough to even know what make it was. He straightened up when I came closer and opened the passenger door for me. I eyed him, crossing my arms over my chest. “You good to drive? You spent a lot of time at the bar tonight.”

He rolled his eyes. “Get in, Cannie. I’m not even close to drunk. You think I’d risk your life like that?”

Point: Tony. Sliding into the sleek leather seat, I waited until Tony was in the driver seat before speaking up again. “Jarvis?”

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N?”

“Add a stop at that liquor store on third, please. Tony owes me a really expensive bottle of good wine for tonight.”

“Will do, Miss Y/L/N. Mr. Stark, take a right at the next intersection.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

“Since when do you listen to her orders?” Tony asked, trying to act put-off, but I knew better. He loved me and spoiled me just like a real uncle would.

If Jarvis had a face, he would definitely be smirking. “Since she says please and thank you. Manners are important, Mr. Stark.”

My laughter rang out, nearly covering up the good-natured grumbling that came from the driver’s seat. Out of all of the creations that Tony’s made, Jarvis was my favorite.

After making that stop at the liquor store, Tony made his way to the house he bought for me. Having Tony Stark as a family friend definitely had its perks. No rent, expensive alcohol, free school… what more could a girl ask for?

“Fuck,” I muttered when I noticed all of the cars parked on the street as we got closer. “I forgot Nat and Wanda are throwing a party tonight.”

“It’ll do you good. Get you out of your shell.” The car came to a stop in the middle of the street. Tony twisted in his seat to look at me. “Seriously, have fun tonight, kid. Next week we’ve gotta hit that presentation hard.”

“Oh, is Tony Stark actually going to prepare for something for once in his life?” He just raised an eyebrow at my teasing and I schooled my grin into a serious expression. “Okay. I’ll be on my A-game. We’ll get you back in the good graces of the board.”

I picked up my purse and got out of the car. Before he pulled away, he rolled down the window. “I’m serious, Cannie. Party hard. Make me proud, but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Right... that’s not a long list.” I had taken one step away when I suddenly twirled around before he could leave. “Wait, Tony!” He watched as I wrestled with the barrette. It took a few seconds, but I finally unclasped it and tugged it free from my hair. Tossing it onto the passenger seat, I leaned down to talk to him. “I only make that mistake once.”

The first time Tony had taken me on a recon mission, as he put it, I’d forgotten to give him back the comm device. The next time I saw him, he gave me all sorts of shit for the things he’d overheard Wanda, Nat, and I talking about.

Even now, he smirked. “I was happy to hear that Wanda finally asked that Sam guy out.”

“Oh, fuck off, Tony.”

At my retreating back, he shouted, “Have fun! Use protection!”

“Drive away, Tony!”

The growl of his engine accelerating gave me all the permission I needed to finally let my smile loose. As odd as he was, I had to admit that my life would be much duller without my boss slash pseudo uncle in it.

But now I had to face a house full of drunk frat boys and sorority girls. Really, all I needed was to make it to my room and change out of this dress. Everyone knew that our bedrooms were off limits during parties, so that was my safe zone. My destination. However, I was dressed like I was going to walk the red carpet, so getting there unnoticed was going to be a struggle.

“Need some help up those stairs, doll?”

Exactly who I wanted to see. With pursed lips, I walked up the stairs to the porch and gave a tight smile to the man sitting on the porch swing with a cigarette hanging from his fingers. “Hi Bucky.”

“Your date didn’t go well? It’s only midnight and you’re already home.” He tsked and shook his head. “Such a shame too. You got all gussied up for him. What a waste.”

“Gussied up? What is this, the 1940s?”

“Obviously not, since your date would have walked you to your door instead of dropping you off in the middle of the street.” He took another drag of his cigarette before standing up and dropping it onto the porch, using his shoe to grind it up. “Where are people’s manners nowadays?”

With my eyes trained purposefully on the destroyed cigarette on my porch, I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. Where are people’s manners anymore?”

He laughed and opened the door, using his free arm to motion me in first. “After you, doll. See, I have manners.”

“What a catch,” I respond drily. There are so many people here. How I ended up becoming friends with two of the most social people on campus was a mystery. I was the complete opposite of Wanda and Nat. Somehow, we worked though.

Heat from Bucky’s body right behind me set me on edge. He rested his hand on my waist and leaned forward until his lips were at my ear and he was practically pressed against me. “You’d be damn lucky to catch me, Y/L/N.”

“In your dreams, Barnes.”

That damn carefree smile on that damn gorgeous face with that damn twinkle in his eyes was all that I could take. Of course, just as I was about to come up with a good come back and walk away with the last word, he had to ramp up his charm. His hand stole my fingers as he came around in front of me and brought my knuckles up to brush his lips across the skin in a feathery kiss. “Maybe one day, Y/N. Maybe one day.”

Then he was gone, swallowed up by the crowd of drunken bodies. I huffed and turned towards the stairs, making my way up to my room. What a cocky arrogant bastard.

Chapter 2: History Class

Series Taglist Open. Add Yourself HERE

Bucky Babes: @lavieenlex @hallow-hazel @infinity-dreamchaser @andhiseyesweregreen 

#buckyxreader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #marvel oneshot #buckyxreader fluff #tony stark #tonyxplatonic!reader #bucky barnes oneshot #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes x reader

[echelonlab-blog]

Bound By Ink -- Chapter 34

Disclaimer: Fiction.

Warnings: Smut

Tagging: @hazeleyedleto @msroxyblog @letojokerownsme @miss-shannanigans @snewsome756   @maliciousalishious   @nikkitasevoli@meghan12151977@sanellv@ambolton@bradlea23@spillinginkwithlove@alexis7215@dezmarz@pezziecoyote@whoistheprettiest@avaj99@iridescxntsolitude@pheenixpeterson@guccilowell@blondiefrommars@rowen1976@phoebehalliwell1984@thathipstaninja@darthjokerisyourfather@letsbemybatman @prettymisc@lylabell2013@mandyglam@pandaliciouz@just-me-obsessing@echelon-1969@carolinapb-me@marilyndioncre

             Shannon’s POV

I was spending more and more time at Scarlett’s apartment as our connection continued to grow. I made dinner and after eating, Jayce plopped onto the bean bag on the floor while Scarlett and I cuddled on the couch. We let Jayce pick the movie and the only sounds in the apartment were coming from the TV for the next two hours.

Once it was over, he disappeared into his room to finish homework and I washed the dishes while she hopped up on the countertop to dry them. “You seem like you’re really enjoying this.” She stacked the plates and glasses next to her.

 “What? Washing dishes?” I joked, crinkling my nose. I knew what she meant, but loved to pick with her.

  “Shut up! You know what I’m talking about. You know, you will make a great father one day. You’re so patient and fair with Jayce and God Shannon, do you even know how rare that is? To find a guy who respects you and treats you like a princess, but is also good to another man’s child?” Her eyes met mine and I smiled.

  And I did love Jayce. He was part of her, and who wouldn’t love him? He was so smart and talented and I loved how protective he was of his mom. It reminded me of how I felt about my mother. “Yeah, well, I can’t take all the credit, he’s polite and well mannered and if he hated me, he didn’t show it. I saw how protective he was of you at first, but he was still respectful, and not all kids in his situation would be.” I grinned, staring down at the glass in my hand. “I never really gave much thought to having children. All of my past relationships have been a disaster and that’s why I’m determined not to make the same mistakes with you.”

“Well, you’re doing a great job and you should have at least one child. The world needs more men like you. I mean, Mark is a good father and a good person, we just weren’t meant to be, but he’s good to Jayce.”

  I turned the water off and pulled the towel from her hands, drying mine and nudging her to move so I could put the dishes into the cabinet myself. “What about you? Do you want more children?”

 She blinked rapidly and began twisting her fingers in the neckline of her white RI T-shirt, like she was deep in thought. Chuckling, she furrowed her brow. “Wow, um, Jayce is fifteen and that’s kind of a big gap there, but.... I’d definitely be open to it if the opportunity presented itself.”

  Tossing the towel on the countertop, I pulled her against my chest. “You never know what can happen. One day, not so long ago, I was single, and then I literally ran smack into the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. She’s had me wrapped around her little finger ever since.” I gave her a wink.

 “Okay, that was so sweet, but you suck at that. Just saying. No more winking, winkie.”

 “I suck?” I asked, raising her T-shirt slightly and started to mercilessly tickle her sides. She tried to block me, but there’s no way, since I could hold both of her wrists in one hand. I leaned in laughing at her giggling wildly and twisting as she slid all the way to the floor. She managed to pull my cap off, but I still brushed my fingers along her soft skin.

  Jayce drummed his fingers on the wall as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. We both froze and she glanced up, a few strands of blue hair falling into her face as her mouth dropped open. Jayce spoke in an authoritative voice. “I would appreciate it if you two could keep it down! I’m trying to do homework in there. Don’t make me come out here again!”

  I pulled Scarlett’s hands, helping her up. “Alright dude, we will be quiet, I promise.”

 “You better!” He narrowed his eyes and nodded with a huge grin. “Hey, I like being the boss.”

 “Yeah? So, that’s why you and Jared get along great.” I teased him. “Goodnight man.”

   He moved closer and bumped my fist before going back to his room. Turning off the light, I followed Scarlett to the bedroom. “You staying?” She asked and I quickly locked the bedroom door, pinning her to the wall behind it. The music from Jayce’s room wasn’t loud, but we could hear it from her bedroom and I knew that he could hear what was happening in her room too.

She stared at me, giving me a pleading look and I brushed my lips against hers. We had been together almost every day and I was loving it, but I wanted her so bad. Scarlett had been putting off the makeup sex for over a week now and I was starting to lose my mind. “Baby, Jayce is in the next room,” she reasoned.

 “I know,” I whispered, making sure my wet lips still touched hers as I spoke. “Shhh.” My lips moved down her jaw and I pressed myself against her even harder. I wanted her to feel what being this close to her did to me. Without a word, I raised her left leg and moved it around my hip.

 I sucked along her neck, trying to find that one spot that made her crazy. I could immediately tell when I found it because she let out a whimper. Biting down, I groaned as I felt her fingernails sink into my skin and she spoke in a hushed tone. “Shannon... don’t.”

I swiped my tongue over the indentation left by my teeth and let go of the leg I had been holding. Trailing my fingers along the waistband of her cute little shorts, I moved swiftly, covering her mouth with one hand and shoving the other directly down into her shorts and panties.

  Her eyes widened and she glared at me, but made no move to stop me. The second my fingers slipped between her folds her eyes closed. I pumped my fingers a few times and released her, guided her to the bed. With a swift spin, I forced her to lean over the bed, kicking her feet apart and raising her shirt. I shoved my pants down, freeing myself from the tight material. “We can’t...” she protested, but I kept going.

Damn, she smelled so fucking good, like coconut or something. I trailed kisses all the way down her back. When I reached her shorts, I got to my knees and gave them a tug, making sure the panties came down too.

  I continued to plant kisses along her spine, granting one to each cheek along with a gentle bite. Her legs quivered and she knew what was coming next. My hands gripped her legs tightly as my tongue found its way to her wetness. I lapped at her tender skin, enjoying the way her legs started to shake uncontrollably. Her muffled moans were music to my ears. She pushed back, grinding herself against my face even harder.

     Releasing my grip on her leg, I reached down to give myself a few strokes, hoping I’d be able to hold back. I sucked her flesh into my mouth, knowing she was about to come apart any second... and she did. Her entire body shook as she collapsed onto the bed and shoved her face into the duvet. The muffled cry that escaped her lips was loud, but I was certain Jayce couldn’t hear it over the music.

  Standing up, I leaned over her back, my hardened flesh poking into her leg. “Come on baby.. I need you.”

 She turned and stood up, glancing down and quickly dropping to her knees. Her warm, sensational mouth engulfed me and making me realize how fast this will be over. “Jesus Scarlett...” it came out in a hoarse tone.

 She released me and slid her tongue along the underside of my shaft. I twisted my fingers in her hair as her mouth moved down to my balls. Licking and sucking like a professional, she had me at the edge much faster than I wanted.

Staring up at me, she moaned, sending vibrations through me. I rocked my hips faster, feeling the heat spread quickly. “Oh God..” I was so wound up and my body started to tense. Unfortunately, I wasn’t young anymore and couldn’t hold back any longer. “Scarlett... I.. “ I groaned, panting like mad and struggling to remain quiet. Her grip on the back of my thigh grew tighter and with a string of curses, I let go. Lapping up every drop, she swiped her tongue over her bottom lip and sucked her finger into her mouth as she stood.

 “I’ll be back, I’m gonna shower.” I watched her pull her clothes back on and grab something to change into before exiting. Climbing into bed, I was out within a matter of minutes. Eventually, I felt her arms wrap around me as she pressed herself against my back. I could so get used to this.

   We all had breakfast together in the morning and Scarlett and I left not long after I dropped Jayce off at school. I had practice with the band and she was working all day. We didn’t see each other for a few days with our crazy schedules, but were constantly texting and had a date planned.

      On Friday, I arrived at Scarlett’s apartment early, specifically to see Jayce before his date. After a talk with Mark, she finally agreed to let him take Sara out to the movies. The deal was, we would drop them off on our way out to dinner, and Stephanie and Mark would pick them up, then drop Sara off at home. Jayce would stay the night at Mark’s and all would be wonderful.

#shannon leto fanfiction #shannon leto fic #30 seconds to mars fanfiction #30STM #Bound By Ink

[my-emotional-self]

Movie Night Teasing (Steve Rogers x Reader One-Shot)

Summary: After a successful mission, the Avengers and you sit down and relax with a movie.  Your boyfriend Steve has other plans.

Word Count: 1,967

Warnings: Swearing, smutty goodness (fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex)

After years of working your ass off to prove to your boss just how good you were, you landed the dream job you had been gunning for: working for S.H.I.E.L.D.  You were placed side by side with Maria Hill and worked the comms and surveillance with her as the Avengers were on missions.  This was in fact how you met Steve Rogers, during a debriefing of a mission.  

You were sat near Hill as Fury was at the head of the table as the Avengers walked in, Steve Rogers taking up the rear.  The second he came into the room and laid eyes on you, you were a goner.  Those baby blue eyes, wide shoulders, thick arms and narrow waist.  He was yummy and you couldn’t help but give him a smirk.  All throughout the debriefing the two of you kept exchanging glances towards one another, small smiles appearing on both your faces. When it was all over, the two of you were the last to remain in the room as you were usually the one to clean up. This time however, the good ole Captain himself decided to help you and you were ecstatic about it.  The two of you got to talking while cleaning and he asked you out on a date.  Of course you said yes!  

And here you two were, five months later and still going strong.  Being with Steve was exhilarating.  You loved to teach him new things seeing as how he missed out on 70 years. He was a very old time romantic guy and it was pleasantly nice.  Most guys nowadays thought romance was waiting until after the first date to have sex with you.  It was a breath of fresh air and you welcomed it.  He had taken you on plenty of dates to the park, and trips on his motorcycle. Your sex life was nothing short of astounding as you found Steve to be everything from sensual and gentle in the bedroom, to wanting it rough and dominating.  He was the perfect mix of gentlemen and aggressive and it was thrilling.

The two of you, along with most of the other Avengers found yourself seated in the new state of the art theater room Tony had built at the tower.  There were eight rows of seating, four comfortable reclining seats in each row, and two seats were always attached in case couples wanted to cuddle. You and Steve took the back row and lucked out as nobody decided to claim the other two seats in your row. You loved movie nights; it was always a great way to kick back after a successful mission.  If the mission went well, there was the debriefing right afterwards and the next night was always celebrated with a movie.  This was the first time in the new theater and everyone was excited.

You wore a skirt, wanting to dress up and be cute for Steve, but you underestimated how chilly it was going to be in the theater.  The two of you reclined your seats and got comfortable as the opening credits of Jurassic Park came on.  You shivered as the air conditioning kicked on to what felt like a frozen tundra setting and Steve noticed.  “Are you cold doll?” he whispered over to you and you nodded your head yes.  Ever the gentleman, he pulled the armrest up and scooted over to you, wrapping his arm around your back so his body heat could warm you; and warm you it did.  He placed a tender kiss to your cheek before he turned back to watch the movie.  

The movie was barley 15 minutes in when Steve placed his hand on your bare thigh, and only about 17 minutes in when you felt him move his hand further up your thigh.  Your breath hitched and you knew what he was doing. He loved to tease you because he knew it turned you on.  You looked over to see his face and he had a cheerful smile on his face.  That smug cocky bastard you thought to yourself.  He wanted to tease you but you were going to try your hardest to not give in.  Oh who were you kidding, the man knew you like no other.  

His firm hand kept sliding its way up to its desired placed and once it finally reached your soaked panties you let out a soft gasp.  “SSshhhh doll, you don’t want them to know what’s going on back here now do you” Steve whispered into your ear before kissing your neck.  Damn you for wearing a skirt and damn you for wearing your hair up in a bun so he could have access to your neck!  You should have known better, but alas, it was too late for that now. By now there was only about 20 minutes left of the film, as Steve’s teasing was usually long and drawn out.  

You felt his fingers start to run up and down your panty covered slit and you had to bite your lip so you wouldn’t moan.  He knew this was torturous for you because you were always loud with your noises. He quickly nudged his knee under yours so your leg was hitched up and over his leg, giving him much better access. You looked around and saw that most of the Avengers had fallen asleep while a few were left awake, their eyes glued to the movie.  

Steve dipped his fingers over the top of your panties and you were met with a low growl in your ear from him.  “So wet for me baby girl” he husked.  Your heart was racing at his ministrations of doing this in such an area where you could be caught at any second.  He circled your aching clit and you had to clamp your hand over your mouth, fearing if you didn’t you wouldn’t be able to hold back the moan.  

You felt him dip a finger into your soaking core and you moved your head to bite his neck from screaming.  He was Captain America, he could take a bite to the neck from you with no problem. You didn’t care at this point because it helped you to be quiet.  You were so aroused at this point that he didn’t even need to insert another finger before you found your release.  All Steve had to do was crook his finger and he found your sweet spot instantly and you were a goner.  He felt your walls tighten and immediately his lips were on yours to drown out your cries. He continued kissing you as you came down from your high.  He removed his finger and you whimpered at the loss.  He raised it to his mouth and stuck it into his mouth to clean it, giving you that sweet boyish grin when he was done.  “You’re mean” you playfully pushed him as you got up, the movie now over.

The two of you quickly exited the theater and made your way to the elevator.  As the doors closed you turned around to face him, looking him up and down.  You could see the erection straining in his jeans, begging to be released.  Moving towards him, you placed his hand over his hard dick and he inhaled sharply.  Getting such a reaction from him spurred you on so you quickly fiddled with belt and undid the button and zipper of his pants, all while keeping your eyes glued to his.  Once finished, your hand found its way inside and gripped him tightly.  “Doll” Steve growled out as his head leaned back to hit the wall.  Using your thumb, you swiped over his tip and swirled around his precum; Steve quivering as you did so.  

The elevator chimed revealing to you that you were now on your floor.  As the doors opened, you pulled your hand out of his jeans and raced off towards Steve’s room giggling like a little girl.  “You can’t outrun me baby” you heard Steve behind you and you picked up your pace.  But he was Captain America of course and he reached you before you even got to his door. He scooped you into his arms and you let out a squeal of delight.  Your hands found the back of his head as your lips crashed to his, making you melt into him. He continued to carry you the rest of the way until you found yourself being tossed onto his bed; bouncing when you landed.  You looked up to find Steve quickly taking off his jeans and boxer briefs.  Deciding to join him you took off your panties. As your fingers found the elastic band of your skirt, Steve’s voice stopped you.  “Leave that skirt on baby girl.”

You did as you were told as you got on all fours and crawled to the end of the bed as Steve stood on the floor.  You gripped his cock in your hands and stroked him a few times before taking him into your mouth.  He let out a guttural moan as his hands slipped to tangle in your hair.  You sucked and hollowed your cheeks until Steve pulled out of you.  “Not yet doll, I want to finish inside you” he said, desire and lust in his eyes.  

You moved towards the head of the bed as Steve climbed in and you pushed him onto his back as you straddled him.  You kissed him with all the passion you had in your body as you ground down on him, slicking him wet with your juices.  Detaching yourself from his lips you leaned back to align his cock at your entrance. You sunk down slowly and you both cried out in ecstasy.  Giving yourself a minute to adjust to his size, you lovingly gazed down at your perfect boyfriend.  “I love you” you uttered as you leaned down to kiss him.  “I love you too doll” came his sweet reply.  

You started moving up and down slowly, riding him seductively.  Soon you were both a panting mess as it got faster and harder.  Steve’s hips thrusting up to meet yours; his pelvic bone met your clit with every thrust.  You felt your walls starting to tighten as you screamed “right there Steve….don’t stop!!”  He gripped your hips with force as he slammed you down onto him faster.  Your eyes rolled back as you let out a strangled noise, chest heaving.  Steve didn’t still his motions, but he slowed them down to a sensual pace, prolonging your orgasm a little longer.  As you were coming down from your peak, Steve flipped you so he was on top as he gathered your thigh in his hand to wrap around his back and he started thrusting into you again with such fever.  “You have another one in you baby?” Steve asked through relentless grunts, his thrusting never faltering.  You all but nodded to him.  Steve reached his hand in-between the two of you and found your clit, making you scream out “oh fuck yes” repeatedly.  It only took a few more thrusts and you were coming for the third time that night as Steve came with you; your walls milking every last drop from him.  

He collapsed next to you as you both tried catching your breath; tonight’s excursions taking it all out of you.  “I think I need to start teasing you in a public place more often” Steve rasped out and you giggled.  He leaned over to give you a chaste kiss on your cheek as he went to get a washcloth to clean you.  

Once he was finished with your cleansing ritual he administered each time you two had sex, he offered to cook you a midnight dinner.  He was definitely the perfect man.

Permanent Tag List: @iamwarrenspeace

#Steve Rogers x Reader #Steve Rogers Smut #Steve Rogers Imagine #Smut #Avengers Smut #Captain America Smut #Avengers x Reader #Captain America x Reader #Steve Rogers Fanfiction

[kafziels]

weird shit i saw freshman year (2016-2017, part two)

again this is late and mildly nsfw

-we were talking about the sexual connotation of 'thrust his maids to the wall' in Romeo and Juliet and Matt asked to give an example sentence but he said 'I thrust my thing into her' needless to say everyone lost it

-English teacher told us he met a guy who said guys get 'periods,' saying he gets moody and anxious around the 28th every month

-same teacher called Leonardo DiCaprio a baby. 'He's just a baby!'

-ok we're currently in a bad omen, the power went out twice, then we saw a black bird in the hallway (IN THE SCHOOL) and then seconds after the fire alarm went off, turns out a generator blew out

-plot twist: we continued school that day

-english teacher was explaining what the nurse meant when she said Juliet has a bump on her head 'as big as a young cock'rel's stone' - a rooster's nut. Which is word for word, he also said a rooster's balls. And when he said 'rooster's nut' someone yelled 'BUST IT' and he said 'no. that's disgusting.' And hE STOOD UP AND GOT HAND SANITIZER AND HE WAS RUBBING IT ALL THE WAY UP TO HIS ELBOWS, NOT BREAKING EYE CONTACT WITH THIS KID THE ENTIRE TIME

-'my mom takes so long to answer her damn phone. I could get a letter back from Africa faster than her. I get a letter from some fuckin African kid named chicken mcboob nugget faster then my mom'

-*watching romeo + juliet in class* 'she's not IN the fish tank, giana'

-guys pointing bananas at each other like guns

-English teacher is giving an example to the class like 'say you go to Panda Express and you get orange chicken. and the you get another plates of orange chicken. and then you get a third plate of orange chicken. what can you infer is gonna happen sooner or later?' and a girl yelled out 'DYSENTERY'

-'what's your favorite chinese food?'

'PANDA'

'no chinese FOOD'

'P A N D A'

-football jocks behind me in study hall telling each other 'bro you look like a teddy bear'

-a girl in the hall yelled out 'DOES ANYONE HAVE A TORTILLA CHIP'

-English teacher: "ok so imagine me cutting annie's head off with a golden axe-"

-someone brought a guinea pig to school, lost it, and now it's roaming the school.

-'mr. randolph I have sss. sensitive scalp syndrome.'

-a girl had a coughing fit and my English teacher said 'if you're gonna die...do it quietly'

-a guy yelled to his friends across the hall 'I didn't touch ANY of his junk'

-there was a security guard in the hallway crying during the daily playing of the national anthem

-they're playing jazz music over the school's PA system???

-the classroom phone rang in choir while we were singing a grease medley and the teacher answered by singing along with us. when he hung up he said 'the principal was not impressed with my song.'

-the other day I saw a kid open a highlighter and put it on his lips like chapstick

-'mr. randolph did you have heelies when you were little'

'no i had friends'

-someone asked my history teacher a question and he responded by fake crying and saying 'I don't care' in the most pained voice I've ever heard

-'anybody got a toothbrush' in the middle of class

-'paris needs a cock ring'

-english teacher has a huge bleeding cut on his hand and all that's on it is a Barbie bandaid

-'I am death's boy toy' *cue mom friend turning around with a disappointed sigh*

-a girl came into history crying about a breakup and saying 'don't date people they just wanna ruin your life' and the teacher said 'is there anyway you can ruin your life more quietly'

-they just called every girl named Abby down to the office. the announcement was a whole minute long

-someone in the back of my study hall is brushing his teeth. the nearest bathroom is across the school. I don't want to turn around

-I was taking notes in english and someone in the hall yelled 'WHUP' and then we all heard a smack. I think someone fell

-*sniff sniff* 'smells like communism'

-'I was choking on some popcorn in German class while we were playing bingo so I'm sitting there like 'ECH' the whole class but I won bingo so it's ok'

-English teacher: 'were talking about salty farts here'

-'do babies fart?'

'YES THEY DO AND ITS DISGUSTING'

-there's a girl in my English class who, every so often, with no regular schedule, brings an entire jar of Nutella to class and eats it

-someone in history farted and a girl said 'that was a fart'

-history teacher was one his phone and a girl (same one from before) was like 'oooo I see you on that phone texting ya girl just HIT SEND' and the teacher said 'actually someone in my family just died but thanks'

-someone compared my English teacher to guy fieri and he said 'are you seriously body shaming me here' he said the same thing upon being compared to homer simpson

-'if I could strangle you with your ponytail I would' -english teacher 2017

-'that guy assisted at jesus' birth he's so old'

-choir teacher was very happy today. He was seriously considering getting neon hair extensions in class

-'is it susan boyle?'

'NO, SHUT YOUR MOUTH'

-someone mentioned the musical 'the book of mormon' and an actual mormon in the classroom got offended and the other guy got written up to the office. this is high school

-'if you're giving human qualities to a bear is it personification?'

'the bear was evading his taxes'

-English teacher: 'I'm gonna throat punch the next person to mention the boss baby movie'

-mid-choir class a dude burst into the room, grabbed the tissue box, and ran out. I have never seen this guy before, I don't even think he goes to school here

-English teacher is wearing a pink polo shirt and black skinny jeans right now (as I type)

-when one of the teachers greeted another, he dabbed

-'let me guess: she can twerk'

-'if tad and annie have a dougie-off....I will add 12 bonus points to everybody's final.'

-someone walking in the halls making the loudest whistle I've heard in ages, then tapping on the walls, why am I scared

-kid putting hemp lotion on: 'if I don't get high in the next 5 minutes I'm slapping you'

-during a shooter drill our choir teacher pulled a softball bat out of a closet in his office to explain he could use it if he had to. The bat said 'big daddy' on the end

-a girl at the end of an empty hallway just screamed out 'OH MY GOD I LOVE CHILI'

-middle of English class, the room got quiet for a moment and we all heard a scream. English teacher shrugged and got back to the lesson as if it was normal???

-during musical rehearsal: 'the shoe does not fit. NO SHIT. SHE ISNT THE PROTAGONIST.'

-'I was gonna grab a calculator but today I found out I'm black.' -friend who has always been black

-'that was such a huge yawn. I thought you were gonna swallow your face.'

-'why would you not want to be called a potato?'

-'WE'LL GET TO THE BUTTHOLE LIPS EVENTUALLY, EASE UP'

-'let's say I had an altercation with a hedgehog'

-my english teacher just threw a yard stick at someone, missed and hit someone else, then justified it with 'I had to use my staff'

-'why are you petting my leg'

'it's...firm'

-a guy in math: *leans over and whispers* 'is it weird that I'm black and I like to cover myself in flour and sometimes I think about putting myself in hot oil' (this is the same guy from the calculator incident)

-my big white english teacher, giggling like a child: 'are you throwing gang signs in my class?'

-the assistant teacher who everyone teases for his clothes? yeah I saw him in the hall on my way to class, he was wearing white pants with rainbow diamonds on them and a red sweater vest. I'm afraid.

-English teacher: 'can you go back to your seat and stop staring at me like someone who had to stop taking a dump early and is just...walking awkwardly cause they had to pinch it off'

-two dudes were talking with their heads out the bus windows so they could hear each other and the one guy said 'dude I had a mayonnaise sandwich for lunch it was awesome'

-English teacher followed through and held a dougie-off and the whole class got 14 bonus points on our big tests as a reward for two people participating

-a girl in the front of the class threw 3 packs of graham crackers to her friend in the back and another girl went 'what is this, the damn food drive?'

-in the middle of english we heard a cackle that I can only describe as purely villainous

-conversation I overheard between two boys at lunch:

'you think you're so cool what do you want a fuckin cookie?'

'yeah actually'

'well go buy one'

'I'm broke!'

'I know'

'What did you do this morning?'

'I dunno, what did YOU do this morning, twizzlers?'

-'that's like three fruit snacks, man. that's not a good deal.'

-there's an outbreak of whooping cough right now and everyone is running through the halls screaming 'WOOT WOOT' and that's the most I've heard that phrase since 2012

-a kid shaking his friend by the shoulders saying 'mr. krabs, you KNOW the secret formula!!'

-in English we needed an APPROPRIATE definition for 'thrust' (see last time) and a girl yelled out 'DO THE MOTION' when the teacher called on someone so he replied with 'DON'T CORRUPT HER'

-during exams someone was doing bird calls (like those exotic birds that go 'OOAAAA OOAAAA')

-in homeroom people were fuckin BARKING

-we're watching Marley and Me in english class and there's like 5 seniors crying, the one girl keeps saying 'he's a good boy...he's a good boy...'

-a girl next to me in math is giving a bj to an off-brand capri sun

#school shit #long post

[ramblingshit]

The Woman in Black - 1989 - 3/10

looks like the 1980s but with somewhat older-style outfits; exposition mutherfuckerrrrrr;

very slow, fluffy script; oh got the cut is just forward and back as they speak, now we’re close flipping forward and back when its their turn to speak i’m dying. exposition, telling other characters what the audience has already heard; each of these scenes are far too long with so much fluff, Jesus Christ the cuts just throw us into a completely different place with no transition its so abrupt and the jump cuts are infinitely worse fuck half of these are like .5 seconds long, they’re so basic its crazy. some j cuts all of the sudden and some decent direction all of the sudden on this indoors scene wtf lol. then back to awful cuts, apparently just outside and between scenes.

i can’t even focus on the story because there’s so much nonsense filming, writing and acting and jfc.

the 2012 version is only 5 minutes less but this one reaaaaally feels like its length while the 2012 one does not.

the house is just a grey house in a simple marsh, unassuming, boring to look at, the birds chirp, there’s a half-sunken cemetery nearby, the woman in blacks just standing there in broad daylight with a lil hat on her head, her skin like yellow tinted with red around her eyes kinda lookin like the wicked witch of the west, just staring casually at him they giving her a mid-shot and a close-shot and all, got some crooked shaped eyebrows, i think she’s angry? I’d be angry too with that ugly ass velvet donut on my head; she slowly sorta makes her way a few steps toward him, he sprints off and locks the door then turns on all the electrical lights in the house and seems alright; the rooms are tiny and clean cause she only just died (woman in black’s sister) - it’s really not scary - all white and beige with floral designs, boring frames with dark protraits; reminds me of the rooms at the thornton’s house and other old bedrooms i stayed in as a kid; fuck he’s really turning every single light on. he’s drinking again. we’re half an hour in and he’s messing around with some sort of recorder whistling into it and shit - omfg i thought that was leading up to a scare but no. telling the clues of the mystery in these weird cylinder recordings instead of the 2012 letters? he’s drinking again. WHOA hey we got an establishing shot and its a red-bricked house three stories tall with a big ass entrance way and pointed roofs and lots of windows am i missing something wait what happened to the grey house. there’s no scary music, its all light, there’s no suspense its like well here we are, now we’re here, now the marsh is water, there’s fog and horses and he’s nervous and there’s horses and women and children screaming yikesss ol mate looks mildly nervous, they must have hired him for his scared running and dramatic turns, NOW THE HOUSE HAS GREEN VINES ALL OVER IT. i mean he seems passionate about his role he’s tryin his hardest thats for sure. half of its filmed like a stage show - where’d the dog go. continuity needs to like actually be a thing. why do these candles have hats they’re on beautiful candelabras and now there’s more alcohol. for epople who have a butler and a maid on stand-by their tablecloth looks like a crumpled sheet and the lampshades look like they were picked up from the tip and they’re fkn crooked for godssake. we’re 46 minutes in and theres been maybe 25 minutes of actual story. he ran because he was afraid and that sits wrong with him so he wants to go back - now he’s ‘brave but not brave enough’. stubborn muthafucker. his rational friend is like lol you’re a moron, take my dog as companion he’s called spider for some reason. jesus fuck the cuts they get me everytime they’re scarier than anything else i’ve seen. unsurprised i could see the shadow of the camera. oh okay the grey house is the generator room out back that makes more sense. locked doors, ring of many keys but no key will turn. completely wasted mirror angles that were making me actually kinda anxious waiting to see something in them like damn son wasted opportunity. thrilling to watch this guy go through wads of paper not really looking at anything just pushing them around the great lawyer he is conveniently only finding and looking at plot-relevant things. kid crying mummy mummy while the lady just screams horribly - OMG NOW HES telling the recording exactly what we just heard and saw fuck sakee i love this movie its so dumb spoon feeding everyone - naw spider in his beeeeddd 10/10 best actor. nothing scary has actually happened other than weird lady staring constipatedly at him. he out here gon break his shoulder - sprint sprint sprint PACE PACE PACE – THE DOOR IS OPENNNNN ooohhwuuuhohhh and now he has an axe. he’s a fuck load more of a scardey cat than my main man harry potter and its the nursery - A BALLLLLLLL fell from the SKYYYYY and he doesn’t seem too fazed lmao. spiders just chillin on a chair like yep you’re in trouble. creepy old dolls. a kid just said 'hello’ and laughed, like friendly. 'hello?’  and put a toy in his hand. this is actually interesting. whoops the lights have gone out - PROBS CAUSE HE TURNS THEM ALL ON. nothing even scary happened, the kid said hi and clearly wanted to play then he sprinted away and now is panicking trying to find a torch where is he going its not even that dark back at the generator. cause god forbid- - OMG HE:S LITERALLY GO TTHE WHOLE HOUSE LIT UP mate why do you think it all went out omg im crying he’s freaking out about spider running off oh nah nevermind he’s fine lololol he was freakingggg outttt and then just chills immediately and goes back inside. i love this guy he’s trying so hard. the 70s lampshades are swinging from the roof. would be more eerie if it were actually dark and nah gonna just move over that back to him telling the recording exactly what we just saw. every fucking light. every FUCKING LIGHT. he’s lucky he doesn’t have to pay for electricity. this is the third time we’ve heard this crash and the kid and the lady screaming and he’s going angry about it cause its very noisy and he’s lost his mate’s dog whoops. lol whoops his mate found his own dog half drowned in the marsh and is just chill with it. wait this has all happened in a day?? this fuckin guy. ol mates got him rugged up and getting him outta there cause he collapsed in fright from finding the nursery trashed. that’s it. like yeah its spooky but come on man. is this the climax of the movie??? we an 1hr12min in. think they’re only breifly and vaguely mentioning that to see her means a kid will die and has died - how the fuck are you supposed to make her fearsome if you declaw her and take away that which threatens people: the fact she’s out there causing kids to die. floral bed covers. are they seriously not even going to show the dead kid. they’re just chatting. and again wa– holy fuck these people shes like neeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrhhh with a hogwarts cloak on and short curly hair with that yellow face and crooked brows, and he’s got his arms over his face, eyes shut just lying on his bed screaming - fuckin close ass shots i can see up their noses. now he’s taken ill poor mate. also he’s in a different bed?? and now he’s awake and talking some whack shit. has anyone called his wife yet lol. an awesome shot of just him sleeping. and another one. who’s this lady? oh its his wife. what’s she doing here i guess they did call her ahahaha. everything is so bright and blue and white where is the deeeeeath how is any of this scary its just so much chilling out and chatting and lol bye hope you get better have fun talking men. what. the house burned down? what. ol mate seems suss. HE’S SUSS. ol mate definitely burned that shit to the ground. who knows why he didn’t really seem sold on the whole thing but ya know. now they’re wearing like any old clothes they can find. and there’s a soldier too. and they’re training off into the sunset. that woman is not old enough to be this guy’s mother. what. we have cake time. pointless pointless scenes. ooooooooooooooooooooooo he got the ptsd from the horse clackity clack. no woman with hair that perfect sleeps without it in rolls or covered, not back then lol. where’s the deatttttthhh. oooohweeerrroooooo. whats in the box in the box whats in the box todayyy. acting is always 10/10 with this guy, especially the angst and strong emotions. he really doesn’t care for actually investigating these many papers he’s got in these boxes. um. he was in his office. and then the next scene was him entering his office and hanging up his jacket in his office????? wot. THE PAPERS AREN’T IN THE FIREPLACE MATE THEY’RE OUTSIDE OF IT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD HES MAD HES SETTING THE OFFICE ON FIRE HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKK MATE. dude you are so fired. fireman is like yeah i found this jerry can of parrafin you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you. omg omg he’s attacking his boss this is so exciting. i think he’s fired lol. can’t believe he’s not been arrested. what do you tell your wife lmao. how do you get references for another job in this career. her hair is so perfect. she wants to talk, he silences her with a kiss, conversation moves on, he silences her with another kiss - typical. now they’re boating. there’s 3 minutes left. are they gonna drown. omg the jumpcuts. SHES STANDING ON WATER. SHES JESUS. ahahhahahahahAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA DEATH BY TREEEEEEEEEE and i think they did drown omg ahahah my guy, wife kid and baby. that’s fuckin dark. last literally 1 minute of the movie just kill everyone off. what a shit fest i love it.

#the woman in black #1989 #review #commentary #movie #movies #ramble #shit #rambling shit #adrian rawlins

[themusingsofjericho-blog]

You’re Mine (Pt. 1)

Relationship Backstory For:

@FeistyLilRocker 

@ClumsyIsNed   

Hannah hummed quietly to herself as she dug through a box she had just gotten out of the storage closet. Whilst her darling husband was hard at work with the rest of The Pack, helping Carla build her dream dance studio downtown, she had decided to pull out a box that she had hand painted herself using her two favourite colours, pink and blue. And in a lovely lilac shade, she had hand painted the lyrics to the song You're Mine by her all-time favourite band, Disturbed. It should be no secret that this box contained an array of photos, movie ticket stubs, concert ticket stubs, and other memories that she and Ned had created over the four years they had spent together...

So far, anyways...

It was a chilly Los Angeles day in December of 2014 when the man who would eventually become her soulmate had entered her life. At the time, she was staying at Lily Stone's mansion in a private, gated community in the Hollywood Hills. Hannah, along with a group of her friends, were taken there for shelter after a man who went by the monicker Diesel 10 had come bursting into The Old Iron, during which time it had been booked for close friends and family of Alfie and Ashley in celebration of their upcoming Christmas Day wedding. Hannah, Ned, Thomas, and Buster were in the middle of a song when the front door of the pub seemingly burst off of its hinges, and nobody at that moment knew what type of horror they were about to be subjected to...

Wielding a barbed wire baseball bat that he had oh-so-affectionately nicknamed Pinchy, Diesel screamed at everyone to line up and get on their knees. He was there for a very specific reason, and that reason was revenge for his deceased wife and daughter. He wanted to know the whereabouts of Lily's parents, Burnett and Lady, and that he wasn't leaving until he knew where the fuck they were. He knew that everyone in the pub were friends with Lily, but, none of them had ever met her parents a day in their lives

Lily's excuse was that they were always out of town on one of their luxurious vacations. Burnett had come from a wealthy family, never having to work a day in his life. Despite his wealth, Burnett Stone was a kind, gentle, and humble man who would give you the shirt off of his back. But, it was later found out that Lady was a very powerful Goddess. Her powers included resurgence, teleportation of herself and others, telepathy, as well as uphold the link between the regular world and a special, spiritual world. If that link is broken due to Lady's death, it would be the end of humankind. Diesel had learned about this link while he was visiting Duncans's tattoo shop, where he had overheard Lily communicating with her mother via their telepathic link, and apocalypse be fucking damned, he wanted revenge for his beloved girls...

It was after everyone had settled down a bit that Lady had told them the story as to why Diesel wanted her dead so badly. She did give them a warning, since the story was going to be gut wrenching, especially after they had just watched their friends and loved ones go through such unspeakable horror only mere hours before. She didn't want to scar everyone even more, but...nobody cared in that moment. All they wanted to know was why that man chose to attack them in the manner that he did. Injuries. Deaths. Horror that still haunted many of the people who were there that fateful night...

But, that's a story for another time...

It was a few days after the attack, and Hannah was quietly sitting on the living room couch with Thomas. Regardless of the shit they put each other through during their drug and alcohol fueled "romance," Thomas always has been, and always will be, like a brother to her. They were watching the first, and original, A Nightmare on Elm Street movie, when there was a sudden knock at the door. Lady had mentioned that it was okay if anyone had wanted friends or family over for extra comfort, under the condition that she and Burnett were notified first. They wanted the name and a photo of the person who would be coming over, as well as an estimated day or time. If plans changed, they were to be notified of that, as well. Everyone knew that they were only asking them to do this as an added safety procaution due to the event, and they happily agreed to the conditions. And, since pretty much everyone else who was staying at the mansion were either at work or busy doing other things, Hannah had decided that she was going to answer the door and ask whoever was there what droid they were looking for. In a polite way. Duh...

She excused herself from the couch for a second, telling Thomas that she was going to answer the door. She was always good at getting unwelcome people to amscray if need be, and she was more than willing to do so if this whoever - or whatever - was an unwelcomed guest. She sharply inhales as she unlocks the door, before swinging it open. And she was met with the most beautiful specimen of a man she had ever seen in her then twenty five years of life...

Standing in the doorway was a man she had never seen before. He stood at a cool 5'10" from what she could tell. He was clad in a faded, black Rush t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and black high-top Converse sneakers. He had shoulder length dark brown hair that had some hints of silver, and the most beautiful shade of green eyes she had ever seen. Her brain must have blue screened for a moment, because the man at the door chuckled and said...

"Hey, Sweet Cheeks. I'm here to see Alfie. Is he back from work yet?"

Sweet Cheeks. He fucking called her Sweet Cheeks. Jesus H. Christ on a fucking unicycle...Hannah was in love. She had absolutely no idea how this guy knew Alfie, but, she didn't give a fuck in that moment. She manages to collect herself, before telling the mystery hunk that Alfie was indeed home from work and that she would go and fetch him. She tells him to stay outside for now, due to the safety precautions, before turning around and screaming

"ALFIE!!! THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!!! IS HE THE DROID YOU ARE LOOKING FOR?!"

Hannah could hear the mystery hunk laughing behind her. Dear Odin, he had the laugh of an Angel. It wasn't long until Alfie came sprinting down the stairs, and his face lit up the second he saw who was at the door. Judging by that reaction, this was the droid that he was looking for, but, that was confirmed even more when Alfie had gently shoved past her to give mystery hunk a great, big Bro Hug. Ashley wasn't far behind her husband to be, asking him who was at the door for him. Alfie beams proudly, before turning towards her and saying

"Baby, this is Ned! He works with me! He was just on vacation visiting his family in New Jersey! Come and say hi!"

Hannah had decided to stand back a bit while Alfie introduced his darling fiancée to his coworker. She stood at the bottom of the staircase, lost in her own thoughts as she stared at Ned. She didn't know what it was, but, there was something about him that caused her to feel an instant attraction to him. And she knew in her head and in her heart that he was her definition of a perfect man...and she didn't even know him!

Well...

Not yet, anyways...

She was still standing on the stairs when Alfie finally allowed him to walk through the door. He must have noticed that she was there, because he looked right over at her and smirked. The smirk caused her heart to drop into her asshole, and it took everything in her power not to physically swoon. Ned then looked at Alfie, and asked him in - well, from what she heard, anyways - the most seductive and orgasm inducing tone...

"Hey, Alfie...who's the gorgeous lady with the pink hair?"

Alfie side-eyed Hannah for a hot second, and she could see the animosity glistening in his eyes. Alfie has had it out for her ever since her past relationship with Thomas, because he blamed her for his struggles with drugs and alcohol. Thomas was already down that road before they had gotten together, and even Vivian knew that, but...Alfie didn't give a fuck. He pretended to be civil with her for Thomas' sake, but, Hannah could see right through his bullshit façade. But, instead of making a snide remark, he just smiles and says

"Oh, her? That's Hannah. She's a family friend. Why don't you go say hi to her? I'm sure she'd love to meet you..."

Hannah's heart stopped for a solid second. She wasn't a shy girl by any means. Never was. But...there was no way in Asgard she'd be able to talk to Ned. One thing about her was she always became incredibly awkward whenever she felt even the slightest bit nervous or intimidated. She knew there was no way a guy like him would ever like a girl like her...

5'2" in height. Pastel pink hair. Multiple tattoo's. There was no fucking way he'd ever give her the time of day. Ned looked like the type of guy who would enjoy the company of someone like Isobella, another member of the construction team known as The Pack that Alfie worked for, who is also the oldest daughter of their boss, Miss Jenny. Isobella was a fucking bombshell of a woman. 5'6" in height. Blonde hair. Gorgeous blue eyes. The same belly laugh inducing sense of humour her mother had. But, she was about to be pleasantly surprised by what was to come next...

[movietweets]

Thor

Okie dokie, here we go one more time (obviously we’ll be doing it more times than one more) for another MCU film. This time I’ve got a jar of delicious greasy olives to hand and I’ll be watching Thor (2011). 

The only difference between this and other tweet-alongs is that I’m actually not going to tweet it! Yeah... I know that’s not really allowed but screw you! I make the rules and I prefer this format with the pictures and everything all at once.

Also since starting this I’ve lost 5 followers. It means almost nothing to me but I don’t want to be an annoying pest and I can see how filling up your timelines with endless tweets about a film you’re not even watching could get irritating. So suck it up, this is how it’s going to be from now on.

Anyway, on with the show.

What’s this? A rag-tag band of misfits in a van! If only they had a dog it could have been Scooby and the gang! They even have a Velma.

Daphney’s on point but looks like something awful happened to Fred. So sign of shaggy or scoob yet, no doubt they’re off somewhere making unrealistically tall sandwiches.

Oh, but maybe they’re baddies... they do appear to have a bomb,

Whoops, things aren’t going so well for them now. I’m having twister flashbacks!

Damn! Did they just hit someone? Maybe they are baddies...at least they got out to try and help. This has a sort of teen horror movie intro vibe to it. I’m sensing that they all might die soon. 

Oh now we’ve jumped back in time and now its a history documentary, That was unexpected! 

Oh not these guys from Game of Thrones! Is this set in Westeros then? Even the music is a bit like the GoT intro music.

Okay, this is a wackiest one yet, two alien races (that nonetheless look roughly humanoid) are having a war together on earth (of all places). It’s a little bit lord of the rings too. I’m having all kinds of feelings here. 

Asgard: also known as Organ pipe city.

So what? Fight to the death? My money is on the blond kid, the other one looks like the jealous villain type. 

I guess he did win then...Look at that cheeky wink. Although, I think it was aimed at his mother? Maybe that’s normal here. 

Healthy Asgardian flirting with mum

Alternate cast of The Lord of the Rings

And that guy dressed in jealous green must be his brother from before. Man he looks bitter. I bet he turns out to be the main baddy. These films have a track record of introducing the baddy within the first 10 minutes and I get the feeling it isn’t going to be Velma or any of the Mystery Machine bunch.

Oh Heck! Its an icy man! They’re baddies too!

Ooo, don’t piss off King daddy!

He’s such a sneaky snake. If only Thor didn’t have such an ego. He’s like Norse Tony Stark

Typical Gimli, in the room for 5 seconds and already grabbed a massive plate of food. 

Roadtrip! 

Why are they riding horses though, isn’t this world super high tech? Come to think of it, why are they wearing armor and fighting with swords? Don’t they have laser guns? Even that bloke from Ironman, living in a hovel in Russia, managed to cobble together a laser weapon. What gives!?

Idris Elba! Oh I hope he’s a main character! Looks like he needs a rest though... his eyes are pretty bloodshot.

Is this where rainbow road from mariocart is set? Or is that some kind of future techno-path?

Ideally I’d like to make some clever comment about this transportation sphere thing but its just too bizarre... Who know’s maybe this is what alien technology is like?

Hold your breath guys!

Could have said something earlier Asian Aragron! No use piping up now with your doubts!

Yep, I’m sure he’s going to back down now. He seems like the backing down type to be honest. Not a hot head, just easy going Thor, trying not to upset anyone.

Nobody calls me a woman! Even though there’s nothing wrong with being a woman. I’m not a sexist demi-god, really I promise! I know literally every other religion has a pretty bad track record but I’m different... It wasn’t what he said, it was the way he said it! 

Daaaaammnnnn! You got burned son! How you gonna let him front like that?

Oww! You got me right in the hand! No fair! And down he goes like a premiership football player. 

Cool hammer trick, I wonder how he does it? Magnets? It’ll definitely be magnets. I’ll bet it’s magnets.

Oh no! Frostbite! I’m sure there won’t be any long term consequences though.

Why is he only pulling out that attack now? Also, great wrist action, that must come in useful... Some friends he’s got though leaving him there to fight alone.

Another neat trick...This guy is a demon with the hammer.

Okay, now this is just hammer porn.

How many legs does that horse have? Is that part of the mythology?

Uh oh! Somebody is going to be grounded when they get home!

Isn’t Thor the god of lighting? If Final Fantasy has taught me anything about elemental damage its that he should have gained HP from that taser.

He’s going to end up in an institution! Hasn’t he worked it out that he’s on earth yet? They all knew about earth earlier.

Here’s Johnny!

I guess you’re not going to be crowned King Arthur.

Told you! That’s it buddy, you’re in the system now. Your only hope is a Native American smashing a window with a water fountain. 

Wow, Portman really has a knack for running this guy over.

HMB I’m going to get me a kingdom. 

Okay party’s over. Agent killjoy is here.

Yeah, real subtle Portman! I know he’s got a pretty ripped body though so I don’t blame you for acting like a school girl.

Oh surprise, surprise! Sneaky snake bro is a sneaky snake.

I’m blue dabba dee dabba doo. He actually might be that guy from X-men though. 

Stolen avatar baby. Again this seems familiar. Right George R.R. Martin? 

NO! DADDY!

HAHAHA! This guy is worse than Hulk for smashing.

How much did Zuckerburg pay for that totally unnecessarily distraction from the scene.

Oh she’s totally smitten. He’s everything a girl could want: brutish, zero social awareness, no money but really confident and with a killer bod. It literally makes no sense though, she’s a total babe but has to wait for a mental patient to literally fall from the sky to find a man. Has she even tried Tinder?

America! Land of freedom! They’ll steal your stuff and there’s nothing you can do about it...

Apple? you too? Aren’t you setting enough Ipods already? It’s 2011 for christs sake. I swear Velma is only in this for the product placement. 

The king is dead, long live the king. He’s like one of those co-workers who suddenly becomes a dick when they get a promotion so supervisor.

Good thing she turned up, that guy looked like he was about to show him to the back-room bestiality ring he runs on weeknights.

She’s doing some pretty impressive mental gymnastics there to even consider that he might not be completely bonkers. 

Is this a theme starting to emerge, ignoring daddies instructions?

Why does he need to go in there at all, that’s my question. we’ve already seen that he can use his magnet hands to summon it from a distance. He could have done that from up on the hill and then flown them both the hell out of there before anybody knew what was going on.

Gun or bow and arrow? 

Hmmm... I’m feeling cocky today.

I knew it was magnets! 

He just said it! Right there!

Oh, what a let down. He’s fucked now.

No use crying over impossible to pick up hammer. As they say.

Who’s this Robin Hood guy anyway, obviously not just a random grunt or he’d have gone with the gun and would probably be dead by now.

What is snakeboy doing here? It’s all your fault but don’t blame yourself. This guy is a sociopath.

I think my eyes just nearly rolled out of their sockets. Absolutely shameless.

Okay MUM!

Earth Daddy is a rebel after all. CHUG THE BEER, GET IT DOWN, DOWN IN ONE, DRINK IT ALL!

Of course it was all him all along. Sneaky snake.

MY VOICE IS RIDICULOUSLY DEEP AND RESONANT!

Just having a chilled night in with a good book and some ‘Go Lean’ Cereal! 

Oh! Heaven forbid that he see your cereal!

Greedy ginger Hagrid is always stuffing his bloody face!

“Don’t you DARE fat shame me!” 

Everything in Asgard is so serious and stern. Don’t they ever just chill?

So that’s where crop circles come from! It’s just the Norse gods popping in for a visit. Technically it is aliens then I guess.

Final boss? It does look like something from Dark Souls. 

Oh cool! Cosplayers! 

Just act natural guys...

Not dinosaurs? I it could happen right? Wouldn’t be the craziest thing to have happened in this film so far.

Oh no its just Norse Ironman. Eat shit Tony.

Just like in the wild west... but seriously, why hasn’t Norse Ironman used his face cannon to finish the job yet? He’s wide open!

Wow, that worked?

Psyche!

Oooofff!

He’s not going to have died though is he... lets get real here. Something is going to save him.

There we go space daddy’s tears made a massive hammer fly out of the sky and electrocute him back to health. 

Saw that coming a mile off, its straight out of the superhero user manual.

Can you really hit fire with a hammer?

It’s not exactly what you’d call comfortable though is it.

What a melt.

Really, all that tension and you’re only going to kiss her hand?

Finally.

WHAT? Double, double cross!? Such a sneaky snake but it won’t help you once Thor gets here.

What’s the big deal about frost giant genocide? They’re obviously evil! Just look at what they’ve done north of the wall already! They’ll eat Danarys! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

How come it doesn’t just crush straight through him if its so heavy?

That was lucky. These superheros always get lucky.

Nice shot. This film has been surprisingly good quality, I think its the first one that I’ve really enjoyed the whole way through. Even despite its ridiculousness!

No surprises at who’s tucking in at the feast!

Awhh Daddy is finally proud of you. What a tear jerker.

Alright, lets see what happens in the after credits scene...

Oh its earth daddy and nicky the patch! Take a look at my energy cube? Oh no! who’s that in the background?! Not snakey snake bro!

The End.

Well I didn’t hate that one. I didn’t hate it at all. Tune in next time for Captain America. It’s one that I’m particularly looking forward to hating every second of. Bloody America man! 

#MCU Marvel Tweetalong Thor