movietweets

[movietweets]

Captain America

Film Ho! Away we go, off on another adventure into the world of Marvel madness where anything can happen and there don’t seem to be any rules to govern it. This time I have a bag of M&Ms and a Kitkat gobble down (or up) while Captain American saves the day from probably another baddy or wrongen like in the other films.

I have to say that this isn’t one that I’ve been looking forward to. The idea of a superhero named after their nation of origin seems pretty shameless and I can’t think of any other nations that would allow it. Captain England? Sounds racist. Captain France? They never win anything. Captain China? Communism doesn’t really allow for special treatment of individuals. Captain Germany? I mean... maybe between 1933-1945 but not exactly the most popular character these days. Captain America though works because Americans really do believe that they’re the best; they’re hopelessly patriotic and to the point of international embarrassment, seemingly lacking the self awareness to understand why everyone else doesn’t behave the same way in regards to their own countries as they do about theirs. So when Captain America was released it made perfect sense... of course they have a superhero called Captain America, of course they do. 

Nevertheless. This is the next one in the series so its the next one that I’m watching. I’ll keep as open a mind as I have for the others too, which is to say that I’ll be looking for every excuse to mock and discredit it.

Holy Mackerel! Is that a UFO? That’s obviously what we’re supposed to think from all that talk about weather balloons (alla Roswell)

I wonder if those guys volunteered to be the first ones down there, we didn’t see the discussion that went on before they were lowered down but I bet it wasn’t exactly anyone’s idea of a fun day out in the tundra.

I feel like they’re about to stumble upon a room filled with large slimy eggs and a bunch of corpses with massive holes in their chests.

Okay, flashback. Now we’re in norway during the second world war and some un-subtitled foreign language bits with Filtch from Harry Potter.

Oh no, its the Skulltopusses! They’re obviously not goodies are they, not with a logo like that.

Oh they’re Nazis...definitely baddies!

The priceless jewel of a norse god? 

be a shame if something happened to it... whoopsie! 

What? This kid! Face of a 40 year old, body like he’s 12. This must be CGI right? He’s like a fucking ventriloquist’s puppet!

There you go! You could be like Little Timmy!

It’s my fetish!

Oh shit, it’s the Stark Expo! List like in the Movies!

Is that Mr.Incredible? Didn’t realize they were Marvel

You’re going to hate the future of your country, they’re the worlds bullies now.

Oh yes, the ancients had use of this futuristic techno cube. That’s why they were so advanced! It has just been kept a secret from mainstream historians.

You mean its a metaphor for the Atom bomb?

A female drill Sargent in the 40s? Yep, just rewrite the past and pretend than nothing bad aver happened. Women have always been equal. See! She just knocked a man to the ground with her fists! You’ve had your token strong female now shut up and get back in the kitchen.

Better do some more talking about how great men are now, just in case that lost us any favor with our main demographic.

CHEATING - THE AMERICAN WAY

Even their female drill Sargent is dishing out sexist insults... I know it’s the 40s but we’ve already established that we’re not holding on to historically accurate social structures.

Alright then! You won me over. Let’s invest a ton of money and resources on the kid with a death wish.

Not another Incredible Hulk narrative! Didn’t you learn anything, that mess was a total flop.

Don’t worry kiddo, I’m an Alcoholic!

Oh, so that’s why she’s there... Seriously these films are horrendously transparent.

And nobody questions where all the uniformed military personnel who go into that antique shop every morning disappear to until 5pm?

He kind of looks like the lead singer of Franz Ferdinand crossed with a character from Golden Eye on N64 with big head mode turned on.

You’re not a scientist...

Quiet my dear, the men are working here. (classic Stark)

Oh! they cured him, now his head fits his body!

Shifty guy looking around the place, probably nothing to worry about.

He can run! Faster than a car!

 He can rump! Over a fence!

Doesn’t need shoes, the serum was 20% hobbit blood.

No way, he’s got a freaking thunderbird! Good thing Captain American can swim faster than a thunderbird. 

This guy has a near perfect Werner Herzog impression.

Double NAZIS!

HAHA, I hope that’s his actual outfit for the rest of the film. Propaganda man! They’re not subtle are they.

Haha, he’s like Link from Ocarina of Time when you only have the kids equipment; that tiny sword and deku shield.

I love how they’re pretending pageantry this is over the top. America is actually like this.. I’ve been! Also why did they spend all this time, money and science to beef up an amateur actor? There are loads of beefy actors right? Especially in the 40′s when people ate meat for breakfast!

Yup that’s all you are, a dancing monkey on a unicycle.

You should have been able to juggle American flags too.

Literally every film, somebody jumps out of a plane.

Why did he take that wooden shield with him? Isn’t it a bit of a give away that he’s an enemy? literally sticks out like a sore thumb. 10/10 for balls -1000 for common sense.

It’s WW2 but there’s laser guns because real war isn’t exciting enough for the kids of today.

BOOM! Yes, I was starting to get cold turkey since our last explosion.

Oof! Right in the face. That’s it guys, game over.

OH SHIT, That German dude, Agent smith with the Herzog impression just pulled of his whole entire face.

How does he smell?

Terrible.

All the thunderbirds! German engineering at its finest there.

EXPLOSION! 

Obviously they’re not dead though. Can you imagine if they were just dead. The rest of the film is about Sargent Sex Appeal and Colonel Wrinkles... I mean I’d watch that.

In a way I’m a bit disappointed.

Such a fucking do-gooder.

What? Why are there so many airships over London? Was that ever a thing? I’m pretty sure it was a thing in Germany but in London too?

Cor blimey Guvnor!

Knew she was a love interest. You don’t pop up halfway through the film in a red dress like that and not snog the main character.

Ooo! Look who it is Margery Tyrell! Looking all kinds of 1940s sexy. She’s too sexy though, sexy like a female antagonist! I DON’T TRUST HER! She’ll make a Joffrey of him given half the chance!

U mad? apparently not worried about recoil at least.

That uniform is so dumb. It literally defeats the object of a uniform since everyone else is wearing something different. It made sense when he was dancing on stage since he was supposed to stand out and all the dancing girls matched him. There’s a reason why army uniforms are green too. They used to be red and blue and the solders were really easy to see and shoot from a distance. Is Captain American a bullet proof? No he isn’t because he needs his vibranium shield to protect him, that’s why they made him have one of those.

They had Ironman in the 40s too! Is there literally any time in history where there wasn’t some kind of Ironman. Increasingly Tony Stark is looking like a plagiarist wannabe.

Old redface looks like he’s made of playdough doesn’t he.

DOUBLE NAZI

Kill self. That’s a hard no from me. How is he expected to deal with the inevitable effects of PTSD after this is over?

Bike race!

GOGO GADGET WASHING LINE

GOGO GADGET FLAME THROWER EXHAUST

GOGO GADGET CANONS!

This guy is incredible at frisbee. Where did he go to college? I wonder what their ultimate team is called?

Fucking hipsters!

I’m still not sure how they went from the future cube to those blue vaporizing guns... I’m starting to doubt the credibility of the science in this film. Irritating because so far in the MCU its all been pretty reliable fact based drama, 99.9% verifiable peer reviewed science.

NO! he’s going to blow up the sea!?

Why would a kamikaze bomb plane bother with an ejection seat though?

They never do...

Oooh ‘ek!

So they’re not even going to have a little PG kiss with Sargent Sex Appeal? He really is the pansiest superhero yet. Even hulk managed to get a kiss.

Ohhhhh! So that’s what we were looking at in the opening scene!

Didn’t that cube melt through metal earlier? How is that robot thing able to grab it now? 

I hope he’s shrunk again...

Awwh, that would’ve been funny.

WHAT!? He’s broken out of the matrix!

 Also she didn’t age a day?

Nicky the patch! Sort him out will you!

Well you blew it. You’re going to have to settle for her granddaughter.

The real agenda here. 

Okay let’s see the after credits thingy...

Oh its just an advert for the next film is it? That must have been exciting at the time but lets face it, we all knew it was coming.

THE END

That’s it for this one guys. I have to say I didn’t hate it. I think they’re getting better as they go but still some hilariously bad moments sprinkled throughout. 

#Marvel MCU CaptainAmerica

[movietweets]

Thor

Okie dokie, here we go one more time (obviously we’ll be doing it more times than one more) for another MCU film. This time I’ve got a jar of delicious greasy olives to hand and I’ll be watching Thor (2011). 

The only difference between this and other tweet-alongs is that I’m actually not going to tweet it! Yeah... I know that’s not really allowed but screw you! I make the rules and I prefer this format with the pictures and everything all at once.

Also since starting this I’ve lost 5 followers. It means almost nothing to me but I don’t want to be an annoying pest and I can see how filling up your timelines with endless tweets about a film you’re not even watching could get irritating. So suck it up, this is how it’s going to be from now on.

Anyway, on with the show.

What’s this? A rag-tag band of misfits in a van! If only they had a dog it could have been Scooby and the gang! They even have a Velma.

Daphney’s on point but looks like something awful happened to Fred. So sign of shaggy or scoob yet, no doubt they’re off somewhere making unrealistically tall sandwiches.

Oh, but maybe they’re baddies... they do appear to have a bomb,

Whoops, things aren’t going so well for them now. I’m having twister flashbacks!

Damn! Did they just hit someone? Maybe they are baddies...at least they got out to try and help. This has a sort of teen horror movie intro vibe to it. I’m sensing that they all might die soon. 

Oh now we’ve jumped back in time and now its a history documentary, That was unexpected! 

Oh not these guys from Game of Thrones! Is this set in Westeros then? Even the music is a bit like the GoT intro music.

Okay, this is a wackiest one yet, two alien races (that nonetheless look roughly humanoid) are having a war together on earth (of all places). It’s a little bit lord of the rings too. I’m having all kinds of feelings here. 

Asgard: also known as Organ pipe city.

So what? Fight to the death? My money is on the blond kid, the other one looks like the jealous villain type. 

I guess he did win then...Look at that cheeky wink. Although, I think it was aimed at his mother? Maybe that’s normal here. 

Healthy Asgardian flirting with mum

Alternate cast of The Lord of the Rings

And that guy dressed in jealous green must be his brother from before. Man he looks bitter. I bet he turns out to be the main baddy. These films have a track record of introducing the baddy within the first 10 minutes and I get the feeling it isn’t going to be Velma or any of the Mystery Machine bunch.

Oh Heck! Its an icy man! They’re baddies too!

Ooo, don’t piss off King daddy!

He’s such a sneaky snake. If only Thor didn’t have such an ego. He’s like Norse Tony Stark

Typical Gimli, in the room for 5 seconds and already grabbed a massive plate of food. 

Roadtrip! 

Why are they riding horses though, isn’t this world super high tech? Come to think of it, why are they wearing armor and fighting with swords? Don’t they have laser guns? Even that bloke from Ironman, living in a hovel in Russia, managed to cobble together a laser weapon. What gives!?

Idris Elba! Oh I hope he’s a main character! Looks like he needs a rest though... his eyes are pretty bloodshot.

Is this where rainbow road from mariocart is set? Or is that some kind of future techno-path?

Ideally I’d like to make some clever comment about this transportation sphere thing but its just too bizarre... Who know’s maybe this is what alien technology is like?

Hold your breath guys!

Could have said something earlier Asian Aragron! No use piping up now with your doubts!

Yep, I’m sure he’s going to back down now. He seems like the backing down type to be honest. Not a hot head, just easy going Thor, trying not to upset anyone.

Nobody calls me a woman! Even though there’s nothing wrong with being a woman. I’m not a sexist demi-god, really I promise! I know literally every other religion has a pretty bad track record but I’m different... It wasn’t what he said, it was the way he said it! 

Daaaaammnnnn! You got burned son! How you gonna let him front like that?

Oww! You got me right in the hand! No fair! And down he goes like a premiership football player. 

Cool hammer trick, I wonder how he does it? Magnets? It’ll definitely be magnets. I’ll bet it’s magnets.

Oh no! Frostbite! I’m sure there won’t be any long term consequences though.

Why is he only pulling out that attack now? Also, great wrist action, that must come in useful... Some friends he’s got though leaving him there to fight alone.

Another neat trick...This guy is a demon with the hammer.

Okay, now this is just hammer porn.

How many legs does that horse have? Is that part of the mythology?

Uh oh! Somebody is going to be grounded when they get home!

Isn’t Thor the god of lighting? If Final Fantasy has taught me anything about elemental damage its that he should have gained HP from that taser.

He’s going to end up in an institution! Hasn’t he worked it out that he’s on earth yet? They all knew about earth earlier.

Here’s Johnny!

I guess you’re not going to be crowned King Arthur.

Told you! That’s it buddy, you’re in the system now. Your only hope is a Native American smashing a window with a water fountain. 

Wow, Portman really has a knack for running this guy over.

HMB I’m going to get me a kingdom. 

Okay party’s over. Agent killjoy is here.

Yeah, real subtle Portman! I know he’s got a pretty ripped body though so I don’t blame you for acting like a school girl.

Oh surprise, surprise! Sneaky snake bro is a sneaky snake.

I’m blue dabba dee dabba doo. He actually might be that guy from X-men though. 

Stolen avatar baby. Again this seems familiar. Right George R.R. Martin? 

NO! DADDY!

HAHAHA! This guy is worse than Hulk for smashing.

How much did Zuckerburg pay for that totally unnecessarily distraction from the scene.

Oh she’s totally smitten. He’s everything a girl could want: brutish, zero social awareness, no money but really confident and with a killer bod. It literally makes no sense though, she’s a total babe but has to wait for a mental patient to literally fall from the sky to find a man. Has she even tried Tinder?

America! Land of freedom! They’ll steal your stuff and there’s nothing you can do about it...

Apple? you too? Aren’t you setting enough Ipods already? It’s 2011 for christs sake. I swear Velma is only in this for the product placement. 

The king is dead, long live the king. He’s like one of those co-workers who suddenly becomes a dick when they get a promotion so supervisor.

Good thing she turned up, that guy looked like he was about to show him to the back-room bestiality ring he runs on weeknights.

She’s doing some pretty impressive mental gymnastics there to even consider that he might not be completely bonkers. 

Is this a theme starting to emerge, ignoring daddies instructions?

Why does he need to go in there at all, that’s my question. we’ve already seen that he can use his magnet hands to summon it from a distance. He could have done that from up on the hill and then flown them both the hell out of there before anybody knew what was going on.

Gun or bow and arrow? 

Hmmm... I’m feeling cocky today.

I knew it was magnets! 

He just said it! Right there!

Oh, what a let down. He’s fucked now.

No use crying over impossible to pick up hammer. As they say.

Who’s this Robin Hood guy anyway, obviously not just a random grunt or he’d have gone with the gun and would probably be dead by now.

What is snakeboy doing here? It’s all your fault but don’t blame yourself. This guy is a sociopath.

I think my eyes just nearly rolled out of their sockets. Absolutely shameless.

Okay MUM!

Earth Daddy is a rebel after all. CHUG THE BEER, GET IT DOWN, DOWN IN ONE, DRINK IT ALL!

Of course it was all him all along. Sneaky snake.

MY VOICE IS RIDICULOUSLY DEEP AND RESONANT!

Just having a chilled night in with a good book and some ‘Go Lean’ Cereal! 

Oh! Heaven forbid that he see your cereal!

Greedy ginger Hagrid is always stuffing his bloody face!

“Don’t you DARE fat shame me!” 

Everything in Asgard is so serious and stern. Don’t they ever just chill?

So that’s where crop circles come from! It’s just the Norse gods popping in for a visit. Technically it is aliens then I guess.

Final boss? It does look like something from Dark Souls. 

Oh cool! Cosplayers! 

Just act natural guys...

Not dinosaurs? I it could happen right? Wouldn’t be the craziest thing to have happened in this film so far.

Oh no its just Norse Ironman. Eat shit Tony.

Just like in the wild west... but seriously, why hasn’t Norse Ironman used his face cannon to finish the job yet? He’s wide open!

Wow, that worked?

Psyche!

Oooofff!

He’s not going to have died though is he... lets get real here. Something is going to save him.

There we go space daddy’s tears made a massive hammer fly out of the sky and electrocute him back to health. 

Saw that coming a mile off, its straight out of the superhero user manual.

Can you really hit fire with a hammer?

It’s not exactly what you’d call comfortable though is it.

What a melt.

Really, all that tension and you’re only going to kiss her hand?

Finally.

WHAT? Double, double cross!? Such a sneaky snake but it won’t help you once Thor gets here.

What’s the big deal about frost giant genocide? They’re obviously evil! Just look at what they’ve done north of the wall already! They’ll eat Danarys! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

How come it doesn’t just crush straight through him if its so heavy?

That was lucky. These superheros always get lucky.

Nice shot. This film has been surprisingly good quality, I think its the first one that I’ve really enjoyed the whole way through. Even despite its ridiculousness!

No surprises at who’s tucking in at the feast!

Awhh Daddy is finally proud of you. What a tear jerker.

Alright, lets see what happens in the after credits scene...

Oh its earth daddy and nicky the patch! Take a look at my energy cube? Oh no! who’s that in the background?! Not snakey snake bro!

The End.

Well I didn’t hate that one. I didn’t hate it at all. Tune in next time for Captain America. It’s one that I’m particularly looking forward to hating every second of. Bloody America man! 

#MCU Marvel Tweetalong Thor

[movietweets]

Iron Man 2

Let's leap back on the horse and get stuck into our next #MCU film: Iron Man 2. Oh yes indeed, this is going to be a good one. I've got on a pair of comfortable shorts and brewed a pretty strong peppermint infusion. Firing on all cylinders, let's get it on!  #Marvel #Ironman2

Hey yeah, I remember agreeing with this statement last time. You do have a laundry list of defects Tony...but why are we in Russia and who's this old geezer? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh, now that's definitely a baddy. You don't get a musical sting like that without good reason. Also, I know it's Russia but when your surroundings are that gloomy you've got to be a wrongen. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Uncle Russia is dead. This calls for a good few glugs of vodka and some feral screaming at the ceiling. #Russia #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

I'm starting to get the impression that this guy has some sort of personal beef with T-dog... Either that or he’s his No.1 fan.  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Looks like they'd actually have quite a lot in common though to be fair. Both pretty handy with tech. Both started out in the super business working from a primitive cave. They should get together for a coffee morning sometime! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2 

You can tell Tony isn't a baddy, he's making an entrance to some classic 80s rock like a mid 90s pro wrestler. Jumping out of a plane again... it seems to be a running theme in the series, heroes leaping from air transport. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2 

Holy shit, did that just happen... what has his life become. 

Why are there can-can girls dancing behind him? What is he? A rock star now? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Good to see wankatron getting some stage time too. 

"Not now wankatron, just help me get undressed!" 

 Look at those flares... is he wearing a woman's trouser suit? I think I've seen @theresa_may wearing the same thing in the house of commons. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

I'm not saying that my if my head got any bigger it would unbalance the earth's orbit around the sun... #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

City of the future? It looks a bit naff doesn't it. Like the B-roll they used to use in episodes of the Thunderbirds. Or like something a child might make the setting for a train set. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Ooop! I spy a plot device... Tony's weird blood toxicity meter. 19%. Noted. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Urrgh... glad I'm not Tony Stark. That POV made my head spin. Obviously throw in a few shots of the adoring women and children fawning over him. Wouldn't want us to forget why Big T's ego is the size of a hot air balloon. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Hmm... haven't we seen this dynamic somewhere before? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh snap!

He's being cheeky with the US government now? Haven't you seen #houseofcards T? @KevinSpacey will literally change the laws to fuck you. I'm pretty sure you don't get to just define what is and isn't a weapon to suit your own private interests. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

You think all this is impressing Pepper? Think again bro, she's been sick of your shit since week 1. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Woah! STOP, HAMMER TIME! Prodding him right in the daddy issues. He seems like too much of a diva not to end up being a baddy. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

So Tony's black friend in the military is @DonCheadle now? What happened to @terrencehoward? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Yeah, look at that upgrade! I wonder what his monthly bills are like for that handset? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

That is almost exactly what happened to Tony too but luckily he's from the planet Zoopidoop so it barely hurt. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

That is literally the most terrifying thing anyone has ever said in the history of the world. No way would the international community stand for this. Where is the #UnitedNations in all this? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Haven't I been saying from the start that he's a wanker?  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh yeah! Power up THE LASER WHIPS! Take that you decadent western media! #formotherRussia #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Now there's multiple suits? Iron men? I know Big T has a vanity problem but does he really need a choice of colour schemes? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Is HAL 9000 saying he has IronMan sex tapes? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Ahahaha! Classic wankatron. Turn him into a wine rack indeed! What would you do without your beloved wankatron Tony? #bluffing #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

#bloodtoxicitylevel 24%! So that's roughly 5% daily at the moment... Maybe soon we'll find out what on earth that means and why we didn't hear anything about blood poisoning in the first film. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Urrhh...that's what happens when you get Pepper to fiddle with your weird homebrew future pacemaker instead of a trained medical professional. That looks like its gone septic. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Yep, you're just like Obama. Would have been a better joke in 2008 when that poster was still relevant but I guess the production studio didn't want to hedge their bets (or perhaps they were part of team Romney...shame.) #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Good for you Pep! Now you can get rid of the man-cave vibe that's been slowly seeping into the office over the last 6 months. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

How does a guy living an a concrete hovel in the middle of Russia get tickets to the Monaco Grand Prix? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh... who's this saucy new damsel? I mean, it's Scarlett Johansson obviously but what is she doing here? Don't tell me Pepper's got some competition? She's obviously a main character too because why else spend the money on an Oscar winner? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Kick his ass Rushman! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

I bet she can fit her whole fist in there. 

Well, say what you mean then because Lord knows Tony doesn't need setting up for any more 'zingers' in this film. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

HAhah! How much did you pay for that @elonmusk? I think this must have been the moment he decided he was going to try and become the real life Tony Stark. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh, look who it is! It's supermodel/journalist! Wow, she gets around doesn't she... certainly has a type. Pepper throwing more shade than the arctic gets in winter. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

#ToxicCheck we're at 53% people... you'd think once half of your blood was made of poison you'd stop being able to charge around like an egomaniac on cocaine firing off 'zingers' left, right and centre. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

I don't know how it's possible but somehow Big T has managed to come off as more of an unbearable jerk than in the last one. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Disrupting the careers of hundreds of people my insisting he get behind the wheel of an F1 car. A highly tuned performance vehicle that takes years of dedicated practice to drive; endangering not only himself but every other person on the track. Sure Tone.. why not give it a bash

Not only that, he's actually competing? Imagine how pissed you'd be if you were the driver! Years of careful preparation and training. All the strict diets and driver specific exercises, you're ready to go. Do it for the team! Then in comes some drunk billionaire...#MCU #IronMan2

This really does take the biscuit. And I don't even watch F1!

You know what? I'm actually glad that Russian guy with the whips is here to wipe the smug little grin off his face. I'm rooting for Ivan! #goIvan #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

He does look like an S&M stripper though: harness, the whips... I wonder if he rehearsed that bit where his shirt burns away. #sohotrightnow #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Laser whips out, he's like the blue shell in Mario Cart -  FUCK YOUR LEAD! It's pretty damn super-effective too. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Of course it's possible to just drive onto the track. This is Monaco, they don't have the money for proper security! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

So what... Stark was in second place? At the Monaco Grand Prix? Despite never having driven competitively before? Yeah...of course he was. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Cor blimey... Ivan got pretty lucky to avoid that crash didn't he. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

That was like something out of Pirates of the Caribbean! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Also, why aren't the snipers shooting him? This is Monaco... So many billionaires are there right now. So many armed security teams and not a single shot fired? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

I'm sure his legs will be fine #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Glad that the Rolls didn't get dented either. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Man... there is just so much wrong with this film. Whole suit in that tiny case? What, is it made out of cardboard? Also why is Ivan just sitting there while he puts it on... use the LASER WHIPS son! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Ummm... maybe take a look around though Ivan. I think that hit he took to the head was a little hard. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Yep, just let him into the cell...oh, no Monsieur, you don't need any guards to accompany you. Just head on in, we've got CCTV. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Looks like Tony's private jet got a remodel. No surprises that Pepper ditched the onboard strip club now that she's in charge. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Quite the chef... 

looks like Ivan is having the same. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Risky move to activate the bomb before you unlock the cell.. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

STOP HAMMERTIME! I bloody new he was a baddy. Only a baddy would fly ice-cream to Europe (home of fine dining) from America (capital of junk food). #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Don't you know about the bird? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Come on mate! Everybody knows that the bird is the word! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Has Don Cheadle ever seen a crossword puzzle before? Also I din't understand why Tony isn't working on a cure for whatever is going on here. We still haven't has an explanation as to why this never happened in the first film. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Yep, its easy to hack into a secure computer just using its own build in interface. Just spend 5 seconds mashing the keys and you're in. To be fair though Tony did this earlier too. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

89% How is he still walking around? And also, wouldn’t that text be backwards from his perspective? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Record scratching in 2010? Yeah that DJ is your bro... definitely doesn't hate you. And why are you wearing the suit? That's like somebody bringing a grenade to a house party. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

No wonder Pepper is throwing enough shade at you to make the amazon jungle whither and die right now #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Good thing James is here to put him in his place. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Gross :( #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

YEAH! Wooo! Lets get showered with fragments of high velocity glass! Isn't that kind of how Tony ended up in this mess in the first place? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Its a good thing that those suits are one size fits all, even though Tony said earlier that he designed them specially for him. I hope they have a fight now, this film has gone far too long without a good fight. Almost 10 minutes! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh goody! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Not the only fight going on...

Okay Rhodders, all very well beating up your sloppy pal on his birthday and stealing his electric armour but how are you going to get it off without wankatron to help you? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

You might have thought that causing a scene and smashing up the place at your own party might leave you a little embarrassed and humble. Oh what am I saying... this is T-Bird we're talking about his ego practically has its own satellites #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Now ordinarily i'd have this guy penned as a wrongen. He's got all the classic signs. Black leather jacket, Eye patch, facial scars. It's just that elevator music that gives him away as a goody. You can't fool me. I know the conventions! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

WHAT!? You mean to tell me that the sexy newcomer who speaks 5 different languages, is an expert in martial arts and always seems to be everywhere but not actually doing anything is s SPY?! It's a good thing she's a good spy or he'd be fucked. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Yep, this is a guy who lets things go. The guy who is here to kill someone because of a grudge that his father had against his father. Come on Hammertime... get the bird. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

You want cheese with that Nick? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Daddy issues surfacing...intensifying. 

Yep, you can totally see where he gets it can't you. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Awhhh. How lovely. Pappa did care after all. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Pepper just got spicy! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Tony's top tips: If you're having trouble seeing something in the distance, why not curl up your hand and use that as a makeshift telescope? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Okay, so going along at 60mph poking out the top of a convertible didn't quite get all the dust off your model city? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Better give it a quick blow as well... Oh look a massive puff of dust. Just as well. 

Why didn't dad just put that in his note books? Why go through this whole convoluted riddle nonsense? Especially as Tony wouldn't have even been motivated to look for it if he wasn't Ironman and needing a new chest battery and he became Ironman totally by chance when he was kidnapped. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

What's this doing here? Oh it's just a reference to another film we're working on but isn't released yet. It's to vindicate anyone who decided to re-watch this hopeless film. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Okay, power on...Calibrating.... bastardizing scientific jargon...

Hey presto! New pacemaker battery! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh no! he's only gone and upgraded the LASER WHIPS! Hammer's going to get whipped for taking his bird. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

He's giving it the Tony Soprano hand pretty hard right now. You're not a mobster Hammertime! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

I thought all the device in his chest did was keep she shrapnel away from his heart and power the suit... 

Why is he getting a buzz right now? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

No RHODDERS! Fight it! I can't believe that they didn't see this coming though after Ivan hacked their systems in 5 seconds earlier. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Oh yeah, some kid in a mask is going to take on Mr.Scary Robo Drone... 

Oh Tony, why did you do that? Now he thinks he's invincible he'll be smashed to pieces at the next zebra crossing. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Seriously dude? At a time like this?

Yep that's physics for you. Electricity will always jump up and zap you instead of going to ground. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

She had time to visit a hair salon on the way here? Changing clothes while your pervy driver sneaks glances, sure but flawless curls like that take at least 45 minutes. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

She left a guy hanging by the neck? Isn't that a bit hardcore for a goody? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

How did everyone suddenly get on conference call.. Isn't this the baddies computer? If the goodies had access all this time why didn't they shut him down remotely? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Awwh glad they're friends again! I was  starting to miss the bromance. Now hurry up and kiss so we can get to the fighting! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Take him away boys, he's been an even less satisfying villain than I expected. Surely we're about to see Ivan make a comeback? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Ok we get it, Hammertime sucks. Now lets get the final boss fight underway already. Far too much of my life has gone by already. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Bring on the LASER WHIPS! They actually look a bit more powerful now but for some reason, even though they could slice through a rolls royce like butter, they just bounce off ironman suits. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

WONDER TWINS EXPLODIFY! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Is pepper deaf? That beeping is pretty loud and almost universally understood as the countdown to an explosion. In fact, why did Ivan even make them have a sound...could have got them totally by surprise. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

FINALLY she quits. Totally justified. Nightmare job. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Awhh... I think the wrong couple kissed there to be honest. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Understatement of the film. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

Well I guess that's it, except we all know that there's going to be an after credit bit so lets just fastforward for 5 minutes and see what's up. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

They're digging a hole in new mexico? Is that a hammer? Not Fix-it Felix Jr. from Wreck it Ralph!? Oooo! Can't wait for that one! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

THE END

Well, can't say I enjoyed that too much but stay tuned for more Marvel tweet-alongs as well as the full write up with screenshots and bonus content coming soon. Thanks to the remaining 25 who are still following, hang in there guys! I get it. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan2

[movietweets]

The Incredible Hulk

Okay, here we go again. This time it's The Incredible Hulk! Hopefully this one will  be just as successful as yesterdays Iron man tweet-along. I've popped some corn and I've got a good feeling that this is going to be a classic #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Wow, this is a bit intense. Very green. I suppose I should have expected this. Weird sciencey shit happening all over the screen like it's bloody through the wormhole with Morgan Freeman #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #theincrediblehulk

Oh Edward Norton's in this? I enjoyed that cheeky wink. I hope he isn't the hulk. That would be a shame if he turned out to be the hulk. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #theincrediblehulk

Oh no! DANGER!!! OH! NO! He is the hulk isn't he?! I’ve got this horrible feeling that he might get all hulky in a minute! 

Fiddlesticks!... the worst has happened. I can tell by his hulk hands. 

Those poor lab people, they didn't deserve that. I already don't like where this is going #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #theincrediblehulk

And bloody Arwen! She's already taken a sour beating! It's too late to apologise now Eddie! Looks like its time to get the military are involved. I reckon moustache man is the grudge holding type #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #theincrediblehulk

One thing I'm also appreciating right now is how they're not-so-subtley name dropping every single character in the MCU right now. Just in case you hadn't realised that they're all best friends #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #theincrediblehulk

Stop the metronome! It was all just a bad dream? Oh... no it's just slightly the future #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #theincrediblehulk

Not the brightest future though: living in the slums, hanging out in your vest and pants.Honestly he looks like he’s about to cry. Not that I blame him, he’s basically ruined his life with his mad science obsession. 

Oh yeah, just cooking some disgusting looking slurry and drinking beer in the daytime with your dog. 

Before kicking back to some Portuguese TV and a read of your dictionary. That’s right: look down in shame at what your life has become! #MCM #Marvel #Theincrediblehulk

At least the muppets is on. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

What are you up to later Ed? Oh I'm just going to meet up for a private lesson with my belly dance instructor. 

Probably have a quick wrestle then get down to some new tummy techniques. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

“This one’s called ‘The Wave’...now you try,”

Did he just slap him in the face? What kind of belly dance lesson is this!? Ohh, i get it, he’s trying to get his heart rate up. This all makes absolute sense now. Totally normal. 

Oh wow, look at the chicks down at the lemonade factory! Seriously, this guy is a literal ticking time bomb and look at the women he's seeing on the daily. If increased heart rate is the trigger maybe he should try something less glamorous! #MCM #Marvel #Theincrediblehulk

Gah, stupid broken control box! What’s the matter with you!?

Uh oh! He's gone and slashed his thumb open and now a massive drop of blood is plummeting down towards us! Literally dodging everything in the way and landing in a lemonade bottle... I mean, what are the chances?! #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

What's the big deal anyway, its gone! It's not like you can put it back in your veins... #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh no! Looks like somebody's going to be having pink lemonade. I'm not sure what's wrong with his blood but the music is so ominous that I'm going to assume that its AIDS :| #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

What is this now? Don't tell me that sexy lemonade chick is getting harassed in the workplace? Wouldn't you like a little date with the hulk instead? #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Wasn’t he just planning to go for lunch? 

We have lift-off.. I wondered how long it would take him to say it. Shame his Portuguese isn't up to scratch. Seriously though, nobody is fun to be around when they're hungry. That's why I popped all this corn #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Dodgy back street deal "what you got for me yo," Only the finest leeks. That looks like a leek. Is that really a leek? #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

“Yes! Finally I can try out that recipe my gran recommended.”

Quick, run home and pop it in a soup! #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh.. its not a leek. Its some kind of trippy magic flower. Don't tell me its drugs! I thought this was supposed to be a film about heroes not addicts. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Hmmm... looks like a classic case of moldy blood cells. There's only one chance...

Nope, he fucked it. Looks like you'll be moldy forever Hulky :(

At least it isn't AIDS like the subtext heavily implied earlier. Now you can relax about the blood in the lemonade and start sending out samples to all your mysterious Internet friends. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

In a toilet roll, packed in a shoe box, wrapped in brown paper.

 The doctors choice when it comes to mailing tissue samples. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh no... the pink lemo killed Stan Lee! #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Who's this army bloke then. Too army to wear uniform. That's how you tell they're a main character...If I'm honest though I'm not 100% sure he's a goody :/ #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh, no there was a flash of lightening right as his plane took off. He's definitely a baddy. 

Also his face is too greasy to be a pure goody, you never get a greasy hero. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

D.A.T.A - Dildos Around The Anus. First he sends him some of his blood, and now this? The relationship just gets weirder and weirder. 

Love can be a difficult game Hulky!

This is like that mission on Modern Warfare 2. In a minute there'll be a couple of dogs which run at you out of nowhere for no reason. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Ooop! they got past that bit already... #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Breach Breach BREACH! Go in there all army and try and nab him why don't you. 

Only to be fooled by literally the oldest trick in the book. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Is that sexy lemonade girl pulling a nondescript piece of fabric over her tits? That was lucky, because it could have easily been a stranger.

I suppose this way we at least get to see you close the deal and have a quick kiss... even though you're in the middle of being hunted to death.

Gah! Should've played it cool! Now greasy man has got you in his sights! Yep, run run run... they've got guns, better just cut through this children's play area. No problem with that. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

What’s that beeping!?

 Oh no... It was his Fitbit! 175.. you're in the cardio zone my friend. The only time my Fitbit gets up that high is when I'm running for the bus. Still its good to get some exercise. You can probably skip belly dancing class now

Oh no, would you believe it. Fancy seeing you here of all places! 

Good thing you practised that move with your belly dancing instructor earlier. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

187... better watch it or you'll start getting hungry again. You know they won't like you when you're hungry. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Are they going to rape him? It feels like they might rape him... #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

191! Oh shit...that’s pretty high. Actually that’s like heart attack high. Have you been to a doctor about your blood pressure lately?

I’m getting anxiety! 

Okay 200... that’s the limit is it? Then he gets all Hulky? I don't think he needs to worry about getting raped anymore at least. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Can't tell if he's really green or if that's just the night vision... funny how he can still kind of hide in the shadows even though they have night vision isn't it. Still I'm not really complaining I want him to win, even if thats a plot dead end. #MCM #Marvel #Theincrediblehulk

Fee Fye Fo Fum! You Can't hurt me with your little bomb! This is the biggest waste of ammunition since that bit in Iron Man last time. Of course he's going to get away. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Greasy man has clearly never seen Billy Elliot. Now that was powerful. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

“Don’t look at my willy!”

Everything's suddenly gone a bit jungle book. At least Mougli had a proper loin cloth though. Just waiting for Balloo and the gang to jump out #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

I think, greasy man is feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Maybe he's not the villain after all... maybe its mustache man? Is he greasy enough though? At the moment, no. But there's plenty of time left. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Meanwhile, things have really gone from bad to worse for Bruce/Eddie (I'm calling him Bruce from now on.. that's just his name). So bad that children dressed in rags are giving him their pocket money out of sympathy. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Finally though he can afford to drop the Mougli look and buy some proper clothes. Better make sure they'll fit this large woman too.. you never know what's going to happen with your weight now you've lost your Fitbit #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Yep, colonel moustache is getting greasier by the minute as he explains his evil plan along with everything that we saw in the opening scene ala Bond Villain. Just in case you weren't paying attention. #MCM #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

So after one catastrophe with trying to make a super soldier, Colonel Mustache is gunning for another experiment on greasy man? And after just hearing about how last time everything went to shit, greasy man is still keen? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Wow... how much pocket money did that child in rags give him? just enough for new clothes a hat and also plane tickets to Virginia. Guess one of those coins was an antique? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

That blue bike is literally begging to be stolen. Who leaves an unchained, brand new, Trek mountain bike unattended on a university campus? Must be a foreign exchange student from somewhere really honest... like Sweden or something. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Creeping around the campus, hiding behind trees, stalking Arwen... this Banner guy, he's a real Dunadain. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Awhh.. its always sad when a stalker sees the subject of their obsession with another man. 

SAD FACE :(

Better force your way into a pizza parlor after hours for a chat with uncle italy (who apparently closes up shop, leaving all his ingredients out of the fridge) #MCU #Theincrediblehulk 

Sure, haven't seen you since the time you turned green, expanded three fold, beat up your girlfriend and then smashed up the place years ago but sure thing pal. You can live here and why don't have have a job too.. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Though I thought being a pizza boy was Peter Parker's thing? That’s definitely his line! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Don't worry jacked security guard: nothing suspicious here, I brought you a bribe pizza to prove it! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

In contrast to Iron man last time, the computers in this one suck. What's with this blocky 80s interface? Wait... when is this set? Yep apparently the same time. What gives? Also why isn't all that stuff with Tony in the news? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh my word! Arwen's new boyfriend is Phil from Modern Family! What are you doing here Phil? What about Claire and the kids? If Jay finds out about this you're going to be in so much trouble! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

This is too much.. I reckon Uncle italy had something to do with this. He's a sneaky one, can't be trusted. Too sentimental for his own good. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Walking in the rain... giving a thumbs up to every car because I'm trying to seem friendly. Sad music. Nobody can see my cry. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Does Ed Norton look a bit like Ryan Gosling? I'm having Notebook flashbacks. Urgh... what an evening that was. #notgettingemotional #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Also how quickly did she forget about Phil Dunphy? A little glimpse of someone from the past and she's out driving in at night and hugging in the rain. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

That's an odd way to refrigerate your WKD Colonel #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Does Arwen have asthma or something? Everything she says she sounds like shes out of breath. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh, here we go... back room performance enhancing drugs for greasy man. 

Standard procedure, double injection to the neck...

...and then a few turns on the revolving gurney.

 Longest needle in the world to the spine and we're all done #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

“I want my mummy!”

Could go around but actually FUCK YOU cars... This is the military. URRGHH! Arwen, you'd better run because they do not give a single fuck. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk 

Mmmm.... delicious secret DATA. (Dildos around the anus) 

Chose to swallow the USB stick... could've put it up the bum. Would've been easier but then this film would have had to be a 15 instead of a 12a #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

How did she know which tank Colonel Moustache was in? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Wow the university of Virginia is so beautiful, maybe if I had gone there instead of boring Reading I would have developed a super power instead of just crippling debt. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

YES ARWEN! POW, right in the kisser. That's how you clock a motherfucker! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Wow, that green dude is ripped. Shame Banner is never around to see him. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

May i just say that the CGI is great in this film. Really top notch. You can see where they used it and it just screams COMPUTER GENERATED. Hats off #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Time for a one on one between greasy man and Hulky. Looks like you're out of your depth mate... Yep.. run! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

For some reason, the hulk cant keep up, even though his legs are almost twice as long but thats just as well because thats all part of greasy's plan. Hit him with the sound wave cannons... is that what they are? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

THIS IS SPARTA!

Ouch.

No Phil! You bloody goofball! You're no match for any of these army types, forget her, go back home to Claire and the kids! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh no, Arwen... now you're in trouble Colonel Mustache! 

You can tell he's had it because now its inexplicably raining when only moments ago the sky was pristine blue. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh... Phillip Dunphy! You tell him! Don't you give that naughty Colonel Mustache a single inch! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Ouch Arwen! What the fuck you startled me! Shit, that's going to leave a bruise! I mean... don't you recognize me? even though I'm massive and green and I have totally different facial features.. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

FUCK YOU WEATHER HOW DARE YOU THROW YOUR ELECTRIC AT ME! 

TAKE THIS ROCK YOU DRIZZLY BASTARD! AAARRHHHHHHH!!!! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Greasy man not looking so hot. I guess that’s it for him then... oh no! Yeah he moved a finger and opened one eye so he'll definitely be the final boss. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

How long was that thing in there though? Like definitely more than enough time that he would have had to poo it out right? Catch it in a little net? They are sooo desperate to avoid any acknowledgement of the anus in this film #subtext #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

NEW FITBIT! Heyoo! Not that he really needs it, I mean look at that shiny bod. No wonder she's willing to abandon Dunphy and overlook his anger management issues. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Ahh, a nice haircut from sexy Arwen and a tube of BBQ Pringles. What more could a Hulky need after a violent episode? 

Maybe a little kissy kiss? Oh GO ON THEN! Careful though...don't want to get about 200bpm! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Guess who's back. Back again. Greasy's back. On the mend. Round three here we come. He’s definitely going to be the final boss. I’m getting a vibe. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

This is neither the time nor the place to be cracking wise Arwen. You know as well as anyone what the stakes are here. Frankly I've had enough of your breathless wheezing. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Finally, a normal computer! Also I wonder how many people have sent emails to [email protected] since 2008? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Roadwork ahead... well you can plainly see that's bullshit. How on earth did the police know where they'd be? Or did they blockade every bridge in the city? If so, just imagine the public backlash... isn't this America? Aren't they supposed to be free? #MCU #Theincrediblehulk

What is going on with that taxi? I guess that was supposed to be comic relief after they decided not to go on the subway because it might be too stressful but that kind of came off badly. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Urghh! What's happened to captain greasy? He was looking ripped about 15 minutes ago now he's come down with a serious case of anorexic old man syndrome. And...ohh... his spine? are you being weird or..is that..normal spine stuff? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Welcome to my red room. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk 

Yep those leather straps are going to stop him. Don't blame it on the graduates if this goes wrong, you were the one who just agreed to take the risk of playing with green fire #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

I'll just wipe this lolly-pop on your forehead. Arwen, would you mind holding onto these false teeth for me please? 

There we go! Headphones at the ready... #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Just look at lovely Arwen! IT’S WORKING! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh yeah, didn't I ever mention this really important detail? That we've done this before and they all died. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Captain greasy is such a maverick just running in there! Screw using the stairs like a normal human, quicker to leap over the banisters.

Holy shit, he just backhanded Arwen across the room and nabbed Banner for the army team! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Wait... Arwen is Colonel Mustache's daughter? They don't look much alike do they. No wonder they hadn't brought it up until now. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

You said it Doc! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

“Would you prefer if started shooting people?!” 

Oh Doc! What have you done. You've made a greasy hulk thats worse than the original. Didn't I warn you he'd be the final boss. Finger movement and one eye open is all it takes! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

He's a bit like the monster from the shape of water. Only not sexy and bulked up to the max. I wouldn't fancy his chances of chatting up the cleaning lady. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk 

Oh yeah, just fall out of a helicopter. 

What if you don't change in time? Did you take even a single second to do the calculations before you jumped? It took at least 60 seconds in the lab. You'd have to be at least 3500 meters above ground level to change in time #theydidthemath

Doesn't look like he had enough height... well I guess thats it. Game over. Credits now please. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

You're kidding me...

I'm starting to think that none of this actually even happened. I mean, its just not believable. What kind of documentary is this? #fakenews #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

So if hulk hands are a thing... like a thing you can buy. Why does hulk need to pop police cars on his hands to fight properly. They should have done police car hands instead. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Oh good, another action sequence. I can switch off for a bit.

Shit... that greasy hulk is pretty colossal compared to normal hulk. There's no way he can win if this is going to be a fair fight. Come on Banner, think of something sneaky! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

POWER CLAP! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Just two...

HULK SMASH! Oh! He can talk as the hulk...I thought it like, did something to his vocal chords or some shit. I guess he just wasn't in a talky mood before. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Yet another moment were the CGI really sets its self aside from the rest of the surroundings. Such class. No wonder this film was so critically acclaimed. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Later Arwen. BRB! Places to go, things to SMASH! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

Yep, he ran all the way to British Columbia. Non-stop. No worries. Just Forrest Gump'd it.. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

OH Big T! Whatcha doing here in this film? Couldn't you have helped out with greasy hulk earlier? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #Theincrediblehulk

THE END.

Well that was some hours of my life that I won't get back. Hope you all enjoyed this as much as I didn't. We're back to 27 followers at least so maybe calling out the defector worked. 

Strap in for more Marvel Tweet-alongs coming soon.

#MCU Marvel tweetalong Theincrediblehulk

[movietweets]

Iron Man

Cracking a beer and getting stuck into the first film of the series: Iron man. He's a man made of Iron apparently so I'm expecting a lot of rust related plot devices  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh yeah! I can already tell this is going to be good because there's army cars and AC/DC playing. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh but look who it is, in a suit, with a glass of brown alcohol and wearing sunglasses, its RDJ. My man! Always appropriate for any situation. About to go into combat? No problem I'll just grab a bottle of jack and my cuff links. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Obviously he treats everyone else like shit too. Obviously. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oops! Didn't see that coming. Can't go 30 seconds in a superhero movie without an explosion though and now a war's happening and I'm getting a Saving Private Ryan flashback. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

That’s not good. Better text the wife and tell her I won’t be back for dinner.  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh Shit! It's terrorists, and they've got guns! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Flashback on Tony's past. No wonder 'Big T' has an ego problem. Bet he pulls some ridiculous shit in vegas. Also I wonder how much that casino paid to get in this movie? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Bloody knew it!

Dude’s like: “why the fuck did he just hand me a big glass dildo?” 

Just a quick argument with a supermodel journalist to set up a parallel with US foreign policy in the subtext. Yeah, I make loads of money selling weapons that kill people but look how cool and attractive I am. Lets fuck! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan 

Oh no! That’s your best comeback?... surely you’re not going to let that win you over Everlove? Surely?! 

Well I guess we all have moments of weakness. 

And literally all it took was a couple of gadgets for her to drop all her morals. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Poor Pepper, He's literally a nightmare to work for and now he's flirting inappropriately! Also he forgot her birthday and she didn't care... yeah right. #realwomen #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Of course his private jet is a strip club. Where is that pole coming from exactly? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Why is the business owner doing the job of a salesman right now? Does he really need the commission? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

All that technology, like genuine future stuff, and he has literally the shittest phone in the world. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Good thing that mad scientist guy happened to be captured by those guys too. Also didn't we just see that he was wearing a bullet proof jacket? How did shrapnel get anywhere near his heart? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

PROOF!

Oh no! The weapons got into the hands of the naughty men! isn't that what sexy journalist/supermodel woman was talking about? Maybe you should have been paying attention to her argument instead trying to sleep with her? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“But Tony... You promised!” :(

They went all that time without exchanging names? Guy saves your life but nah, funny accent, not worth getting too close. Also NOW you want to small talk, right when he’s holding a pot of molten metal in a pair of forceps?! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh yeah, just make a couple of rings, stick them together with some copper wire and there you go magic chest battery. Step one, make a ring. #Therestofthefuckingowl #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

And here we are having a bash at step two...

Hey presto! That was easy.

Well to be honest its about time that the wrongens noticed something wasn't quite right. Man had a massive glowing thing on his chest that looks like its from the future and nobody seemed bothered. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

For a man who we've established is intelligent Big T has no game. Yeah just leave the blueprints to the secret plan you're working on out on the table. Fortunately the baddies are totally negligent. I'm surprised they remembered to lock the door #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

We've already seen that they have CCTV of what Tony and his mate are up to but some how they aren't seeing him assemble a full suit of weaponized armor under their noses? Even after they've been caught with the blueprints?? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Could they be any more blatant about what they’re up to?

Also why build a suit that leaves the one vulnerable part, the battery that powers it and keeps his heart from being shredded, exposed. 10/10 for visual aesthetic -10000 for common sense. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Seems to hold up though, even when shot point blank in the head. Shame his assistant had to die. There could have been some serious competition for chief romantic interest with Pepper later. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Yeah, no shit. This guy had expendable character written all over him. 

What is going on with his legs? Seriously, who has hips that wide?  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Ahahaha! Silly baddies! Haven’t you realised that your guns are useless!?

Oh no! He's gone down! Looks like the terrorists are going to win after all. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh... no they fucked it. 

Good thing he can fly!

Also good thing that that, way bigger explosion didn't have any nasty shrapnel in it this time. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

 Ah, phew! Good thing the military are here to save the day. Held off till now though obviously because PLOT #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“Taxi!”

Also yeah, I want an American cheeseburger and a... (hint at sex but surprise with) a press conference. Definitely don't want to go to the hospital, not even after spending days(?) in the desert following a firefight and crash in a metal suit from 100m #MCU #Marvel #IronMan

Fast food and a quickie?

Seriously had enough of his shit... 

Of course Burger King got that contract. I'm a little bit surprised that Tony didn't ask for a mac book and a bottle of new mountain dew red alert, available in a convenience store near you...#MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Don't tell me he's grown a conscience! Big T! Think about what you're going to the military industrial complex! What about the economy!? All those people who came out to clap at you getting out of a Rolls Royce are jobless now! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Hashtag UN-nesesary segway #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Okay Pep, just reach into the massive hole in my chest and grab that loose wire. Don't mind all the puss and blood. Oh you fucked it up, never mind, should have had a doctor do it. To be fair, could have done it himself but wouldn't want to miss this opportunity to flirt #MCU

100% uses that sentient robot arm to wank #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Yep, just walk into a military base and start talking shit to the commander because you're Tony Stark #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

"working on a secret project are we Sir?" - You can trust me, I'm a web connected AI with the same voice as HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Speaking of wrong hands, who's this with a useless remnant of scrap metal. I think I know who the main antagonist is going to be! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“What did you just say about my sunglasses!?”

That looks like pretty complex stuff T! Good thing you've got Wankatron to help you out. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh shit... that's at least 3 months in hospital. Also wouldn't a man of science have worked out exactly how much thrust 10% capacity would generate before testing it on himself. Why not test it on a crash dummy first? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Also, hats off to Wankatron for the excellent comedic timing. That bit with the extinguisher. GOLD #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Okay, how does he still have an arm after that? Tony Stark is a normal  human right? I'm not going to find out 10 movies in that hes actually from the planet Joopizoop where everyone is a demi-god am I? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Where does he buy those shirts with the hole cut out of the chest? Reckon that's a custom job. Another example of Big T's genius. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh yeah. Let's do this highly experimental test that is likely to end in something exploding or going catastrophically wrong in the garage along side 3 to 6 expensive super cars. #justbillionairethings #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

What did you expect dude? I’m getting tired of your bullshit!

WHAT KIND OF HERO RUINS ICECREAMS FOR CHILDREN?!?!  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh! Did it go wrong? Well that will teach you for ignoring HAL 9000!

With great power comes incredible lack of responsibility. There’ll be a pothole there for weeks now.  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wankatron giving Tony a taste of his own medicine.

Just as well that ghetto Iron Man is looking like something off of scrapheap challenge #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Well that was a slap in the face... are there any women who his ‘hero’ does respect?

Also, of course he knows Hugh Hefner. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wow. Pepper is looking on point, must have guys lining up and she still puts up with that crap from Tone. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Shit man...you're making ME uncomfortable and I'm watching this from my bedroom, in my underwear. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“I need a new job.”

Wait! Isn't that supermodel/journalist from before the hostage situation? Oh and she's got some leverage this time...  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oooo! Looks like uncle cigar might be the main antagonist after all.

Somebody’s having a little sulk in the man cave are they? Angrily adjusting your super complex future cyber arm with a screwdriver. I mean...seriously? Screw drivers only do one of two things. They tighten or loosen screws. How much tinkering is really going on there? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wow... wankatron had a few upgrades! Now he comes out of the floor and gets you dressed in the morning #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Terrorists are on the rise again. Oh! You've got a gun, have you? Well here's a massive punch in the stomach.

Or why not have a blast of my...wait, what is that stuff that’s being blown out of my hands? Is it just pure bad-ass?! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh shit... now he's screwed, no way to save the hostages at gun point..

SHOULDER GUNS! BANG! 

AUTO-TARGETING, NO RECOIL, EAT THAT YOU BLOODY WRONGENS! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

 “Cheers mate!”

Uh oh...

Tank gun to the face? 

No prob bro. JUST WALK IT OFF  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Bogey just went supersonic. Good thing that people from Joopidoop are impervious to the effects of instant acceleration or his bones and organs would be jellified by now. 

Also good thing that he though to add in some knee flares... you know for disco scenarios and this... #MCU

Whiplash is right... ejecting is no joke. Most people never fly again and are left with severe spinal injuries. Cheers T. NICE ONE. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong

When your missus catches you having some fun with your newly upgraded wankatron... #mcu #ironman #tweetalong #marvel

Ghetto ironman looks still looks shit.. 

no wonder the baddy used his weird sound torture lanyard on him. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

OH SHIT! Pepper out. So that was the stick that broke the camels back eh? Developing a sense of responsibility and taking the initiative to do the right thing...oh hell nawh! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

I knew she was bluffing. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wow... how awesome do computers look in this film. I want to work with an interface like that. Who cares that all the icons are on the wrong side!? You can literally type translate and it starts speaking English! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Jesus! She’s not a piece of meat! Damn, the main baddy is kinda creepy. Even without all the murdering and crazy sound torture dongle! RUN POTTS! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

OH NO! Not Big T! He's gone all pasty 'cause of the torture lanyard!  

“You’re not going to try and kiss me are you?”

Oh no, no. Just going to syringe the future battery out of your techno pacemaker... You know.. Baddie stuff.

Wait... is his name Obediah? Seriously how didn't anyone guess he was evil? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

YES! COME ON WANKATRON! POP IT IN THE HOLE! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Pepper is the real hero in this story. Just look at that power walk. Either that or I have a massive crush on 2008 Gwyneth Paltrow #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Shitt... ghetto iron man been hittin' the gym! How did we get from scrapheap challenge to beefcake overnight? I want that protein shake! #therestofthefuckingowl #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

LOL that whole family are like: Holy shit what is happening?! This never happens when we stay with daddy! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

lets hope it wasn't dad following behind on that motorcycle #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

HE KNOWS THE MATH WANKATRON! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Ha Ha yeah... chill out Obediah. You've been iced out. Don't you realize that you're just an overweight imitation? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

those disco knee flares are are literally a get out of jail free card. I've said it before and I'll say it again... bloody good thing he thought of them. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“Nooo! Not the disco knee flares! How did you know my only weakness was the boogie!?

Yes Pepper, flip every god damn switch! Meanwhile the masks are off... #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

PUSH IT! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

God dammit Pepper! What are you waiting for!?

wait for it....

Oh thank goodness for that... it had been almost a whole minute without an explosion! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Lets see if we can't shoehorn in a little post action office romance between boss and employee before Tony pars off supermodel/journalist for the third time and does the obvious thing by letting his ego overtake everything. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Yep.

At least we can enjoy some well earned Black Sabbath as the credits roll #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wait... WHAT IS THIS!? The film is over but there's more? Is this a thing? Oh my word! GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING SUPERHEROS INTO MY BADDY FIGHTING CLUB! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

The end. 

Hope every one of my 27 followers enjoyed that. I'll be posting it to my blog soon in a special post with bonus content and screen shots to accompany each tweet. Look forward to tweeting @ you all soon when I watch The Hulk (2008) next time #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

*UPDATE*

Uh oh, looks like one of my followers didn't like that at all. Good riddance I say! To the remaining 26: PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE! :(

#MCU Marvel tweetalong IronMan

[movietweets]

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Okay, here we bloody well go! I'm going to be watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe films and tweeting along. I should preface this by saying that I've only seen maybe one or two of them before and as a rule I don't like superhero films. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong

Obviously I won't be watching them all in one go. That would take up far too much of my, admittedly valueless, time. I know there's some debate about the order that they should be watched but I'm going with the order that they were released.  #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong