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skitskatdacat63 · 4 months

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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

#ah well this was certainly a project....#rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse #this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :)#i think i def like the first one the best #it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days #like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing #but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it #i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well.#generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference #like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want #ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs #and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic #basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!!#there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari #but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari #and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m #a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him #so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh)#f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art.#vettonso #bond au

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softness-and-shattering · 4 months

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So I put on this netflix show, in their tradition of being extremely obvious with names its called Mech Cadets, and its an alien-mecha human-pilot fight-the-giant-bug-aliens story. My first complaint is that the alien mechas are called Robo's. Wow exciting /sarcasm. Anyway thats totally forgiven because 1 the story actually makes choices and puts the characters through consequences instead of like hinting at oh it something bad gonna happen psych we dont have the guts for that. Its a kid/teen show so its not super dark but it follows through and goes the places it needs to.

2, and maybe most importantly, I gotta talk about the disability rep. There's four teens chosen by the alien mechs to be their drift-compatible pilots (I think im using that correctly? Im not super informed on the genre but I know some), and we see straight away that one of the guys has a prosthetic leg from the thigh down, and uses it as an example to tell the main protagonist, hey none of us are perfect we dont have to be perfect we just need to be human. The next episode the mechas are given human-designed weapons to fight with, and the disabled kid gets these flippy sticks I cant quite work out. One of them gets a staff, the other gets this glove for punching, story moves on. Then a bug-alien-antagonist gets into the teens dorm and while fighting it, the alien dismembers the guys prosthetic. He immediately grabs his crutches and goes to town on it with his crutches, and balancing on them to kick with his one good foot*. Then they disconnect the rest of the prosthetic and use its sharp edge to kill the alien. And then he just moves around on his crutches with no comment and Ill cut myself off there so I dont spoil the whole thing.

Except, a couple episodes later, Im watching him in the mech fighting and moving around, and I realise that his giant fuck-off monster attacking weapons ARE A PAIR OF CRUTCHES. Theyre his fucking WEAPONS. Thats cool as fuck!

#is it mech and not mecha and im making a fool of myself? I just cant quite bear to call them Robos im sorry #Mech Cadets #Theres more nice stuff about the disability rep but I want to leave some surprises for y'all when you watch it #The animation is ok theres one character who's face sometimes looks a bit plastic and moves a bit janky imho but otherwise its alright #I also definitely want more about the robos as people because theyre intelligent but theyre also a bit treated like machines #and not sentient beings #but they clearly are sentient #theres definitely themes happening about how alive they are but its not properly dug into yet. if they get a second season I definitely wan #more on them #like why did they just show up to earth to partner with people and fight the bug aliens? where are they from? whats their motivation?#but in a I want more world building way not in a wow this is shit world building way #anyway #mine #disability rep #disability representation #its got some really fun vibes #*his one foot. he doesnt have a good foot and a bad foot he just has a foot. getting him mixed in my head with Kaz Brekker and his cane

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airborneice · 2 months

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couple doodles of the sillies

#hm i like to post my oc nonsense in groups of 3 to fool ppl into thinking its a proper post with substance #and not just some silly doodles i threw together #but i dont think i'll have anything else to add to this for a while so here¯\_(ツ)_/¯#im pleased with the 1st one tho. look at the shading on arwen's skirt i think it came out nice :)#2nd image brought to you by: me remembering that that fucked up spider crab called itself hilda's friend #and thinking how utterly incomprehensible that info would be to anyone else ever #fucked up spider thing: yea i know your sister. we're friends :) *tries to eat mattie*#i say that as a joke but tbh there's a comic in my head around this topic #that i'm trying not to do bc i don't wanna just re-tread season 3 lmao #art tag #mattie #harvey #arwen #hilda ocs tag #hilda oc

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monboyfs-seesaw · 6 months

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Cary expecting saw to flop and not wanting to be there anymore will never not be funny. Laugh my ass off imagining him bite his fist everytimw he sees how much X is grossing. He gets an anxiety attack everytime the phone rings because he knows its eventually gonna be "hey can you be Gordon again" and he'll say no and they're like "cool okay ill send you the script" and he fucking bites his phone in half yet still shows up to the blind read

#he sits there the whole time arms crossed like “i cant believe were still doing this”#while everyone else is like “its so nice to have you back cary 💖”#we missed you 💖#“godrons story is complete” my ass its done when this dead horse stops spitting out money #i need to watch you crack your cane over hoffmans fucking head in the bathroom #i need you to consider just fucking killing logan and schenk when they show up begging you to mentor them #saw franchise #lawrence gordon #cary elwes

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moeblob · 1 month

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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rivalkieran · 5 months

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let kieran punch us 2k23

#solis.txt #sv dlc spoilers #indigo disk spoilers #ok was it just me or was that ending… a little underwhelming?#LIKE ok its a pokemon game they have to be nice and marketable and they cant live up to rhe story in my head but #kieran shouldve gotten more time to be angry at us briar shouldve been more deranged in the head terapagos shouldve been an eldritch horror #(that one shrek image) and the tree wasnt even that important #oh well. I have to do everything in this goddamn house

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 month

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i love haircuts. i cant stop petting the back of my skull

#ITS SO FUZZY!!!!#ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE BUZZED THE BACK!!!#im so smooth and streamlined... like a Seal...#Yes my head is cold. oh but i feel so so free #and! AND! it will make wearing hairnets so much easier & more comfortable #it was very funny tho #the stylist gave me the rundown on what she did #and added that she kept it kinda soft looking to give it a more Feminine feel while still being a masc haircut #as i stood there. in my pin-covered vest. Not Giving A Shit lmaooo #like thank you??? i am going to make it look masc as fuck anyway #i Do appreciate her attention to detail tho! she was very thorough!#it should grow out nicely until i trim it again #absolutely unprompted #tho i miss my lil' sideburns... i let her buzz the sides/back a bit too short...#when will they return from the war...#man i love getting my hair cut tho #i usually Hate it when anyone is in my space bubble but... sigh. its nice #i can just sit and space out while my hair gets cleaned up <3 #its odd. i dont like being touched Except for when its my hair - which i am extremely particular about. i contain multitudes #SIDE NOTE TONIGHT I HAVE HEARD MY FIRST FROG SYMPHONY #opened the back door and!!! Frogs!!! whoa! there's Creatures out there!

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redrobin-detective · 5 months

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the first language

Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth. ~ Margaret Atwood

"Simon! Simon!" Finn shouted excitedly as he and Jake burst into Simon's house. Well it had technically been Marcy's first but though it's only been a few months since Simon became human again, it felt like it had always been their place. "Wait until you hear about this crazy wild monster we foug-"

"Stop," Simon commanded, peeking around from around the kitchen wall to give them a light glare, his lips pressed together in a line. He and Jake froze midstep. Finn was a bold teenage adventurer who took orders from no monster, king or extraterrestrial entity. Until Simon, only PB could boss them around and even that wasn't a sure thing. The older human flicked his eyes over them with an unimpressed stare that made Finn want to shrink into himself. Even without powers or magic, Simon was way more intimidating than Ice King.

"You boys are filthy and I just cleaned up the place." Simon sighed and rubbed at his eyes underneath his glasses. "There's a hose outside, wash off the worst of the dirt and other various stains. I'll leave towels on the porch and for god's sake take off your shoes before you come in."

"Yeah okay, sorry Simon," Finn said, trudging outside and turning on the hose to spray down his arms and legs. Now that he looked, they were pretty gnarly covered in mud and monster guts.

"Simon's kinda like a mom, dontcha think?" Jake added as Finn sprayed him down with the hose. He laughed as Jake guzzled some of the water and spat it back at him.

"I mean I guess," Finn shrugged, pointing the hose up so they both were getting rained on. "It's kinda nice you know, to be fussed over. It's different."

"I fuss over you," Jake frowned.

"I know man and I appreciate it," Finn said, showing his appreciation by spraying Jake in the face. "I can't explain it but it's different with Simon, kind of like how you and Lady have your own thing going on that's special but separate from what you and I have."

"Yeah okay," Jake responded. "Is that why you insist on stopping by to see him anytime we're in the area?" Finn didn't answer, instead impressing Jake but wiggling the hose to make it look like a snake. They continued to laugh and splash each other with the water until Simon stepped outside and hung some towels on the porch.

"When you're done playing, I have hot chocolate waiting for you. Then you can tell me all about your latest adventure," Simon smiled before stepping back inside. Finn whooped and rushed over to turn off the hose. Hopefully Marcy wouldn't be back before all the water on her porch and front lawn dried.

They toweled off and Finn did remember to take off his shoes before entering the house. The place looked different from when it was just Marcy living there. The small loveseat had been exchanged for a bigger couch along with some mismatched armchairs. A keyboard was propped in the corner next to Marcy's bass. The house was cleaner, more organized with Simon around. It really felt like a home.

Simon was at the stove, stirring something in a pot as they took their seats at the kitchen table. Their assigned mugs were set out for them and snacks were on a large plate in the middle. He and Jake dug in. Simon came up behind them and poured the hot chocolate into their mugs from the pot and sat down, pouring his own cup.

"Finn, your hat still has blood on it," Simon noted, taking a sip. "How do you usually clean it?"

"Oh uh you know, I usually just rinse it off and if it gets too grody or it comes to life, I go skin another bear," Finn said awkwardly. Simon nodded as if he expected such an answer and excused himself to go get something.

"Ohhhh Finn's in trouble with Mommmm," Jake sang under his breath and Finn kicked him under the table. Simon returned with a box of something before it could escalate into a full out foot war.

"Animal skin usually requires special care, it's doubtful those products exist anymore so we can also use shampoo to get some of those stains out. May I?" Simon asked, holding his hand out.

"Oh yeah, thanks, Simon," Finn said pulling off his hat which caused his long hair to flop against his shirt with a wet plop. Jake snickered, it was probably getting time to cut it again. Like his hat, it was getting dirty and tangled, easier to just shave it all off. Simon turned on the sink and began gently washing the hat.

"I've talked a bit to your mother and some of the other Islanders and the history of humanity and the animals hats post-apocalypse really is interesting," Simon lectured. "The hats originally were intended to keep people warm in the elements but evolved to protect humans from vampiric attack, covering their vulnerable neck area. Even when vampires went extinct, humans continued to wear the skins as a form of cultural identity."

"Mom uh Jake and I's Mom said I was wearing a hat like that when they found me. It used to be the only clue I had about where I came from so I kept making similar hats in case someone was looking for me." Finn took a long sip from his cocoa to avoid the look Jake was giving him. He wasn't usually one for sentiment but hanging out with Simon usually made those deep inside feelings spill out.

"Okay, we'll just let that soak and- Finn," Simon said before turning around and sighing. "Finn, your hair is a mess. I keep telling you it's not healthy to jam your hair in that hat 24/7. Your scalp needs to breathe, especially with all the running around you do. Here," he grabbed the towel from earlier and wrapped it around Finn's shoulders. "Let me wash it for you and try to work out the worst of mess."

"Oh uh you don't have to it's fine, I'll take care of it when I'm home," Finn stumbled, embarrassed. Ice King had been a mess but Simon always looked so put together. It made Finn a bit self conscious but then again, until recently, he didn't have any other humans to compare himself to. Simon gently guided Finn back to the chair, tilting his head back.

"I want to," Simon smiled from his upside gaze. "I used to do this all the time for Marcy. Besides, we humans have to take care of each other after all." Simon poured some shampoo in his hands and went to work on Finn's hair. The feel of fingers scrubbing at his roots, running through the length of his hair and massaging those sensitive, untouched areas of his head made him go boneless. Finn groaned, worried that his bones had become soup and he'd slide right out of the chair and into a puddle on the floor. He can't remember ever feeling so relaxed in his life.

"Oh my glob Finn, are you alright? What did you do to him?" Jake demanded but Finn barely noticed. He felt like he was in the 47th Dead World or something where everything was good and nothing hurt.

"Head massages are relaxing to humans," Simon paused in his scrubbing and Finn moaned in disappointment. "Has he never had one of these before?"

"Mom and Dad used to pet us and I do it to Finn sometimes when he's upset," Jake defended.

"He's not a dog," Simon said, some unnameable emotion in his voice. "I'm sorry, I suppose I'm taking for granted what it was like to live in a society designed by and for humans. Finn, I'm going to rinse out your hair and start working on these knots. You really should work on maintaining your hair if you're going to keep it long. It's such a lovely color and texture."

"Hmm don't really know what to do with it, no one really had hair like mine," Finn mumbled as Simon rinsed the shampoo out.

"I suppose so and Marcy's is much thicker and textured requiring different styling," Simon mused out loud as he massaged some thick goop and gently, so gently, began working out the knots. Finn could die here happily. Jake hummed and stretched himself so he could see what Simon was doing.

"What's that stuff?"

"Conditioner or my best homemade equivalent with honey, olive oil and milk. It softens and moisturizes the hair and scalp. It will help prevent the hair from tangling so easily and overall keep it healthier, especially if he's going to continue to wear his signature hat," Simon explained. They chatted easily about human grooming methods while Finn's eyelids fluttered in relaxation, drifting in and out of the conversation as the comb made long, easy swipes through his hair before rinsing it out again. He loved his Mom and Dad, knew they did his best with him but he knows he missed out on something being raised by dogs. If he could recapture even a little bit of that missing piece with Simon...

"Finn? You still with us? Ground Control to Major Tom?" Simon teased, gently tapping at Finn's forehead. Finn blinked up at him. "What do you want me to do with it? I can braid it, put it in a ponytail, leave it flat." Finn wasn't ready to stop being touched.

"Braid please," he said quietly, sighing in contentment as Simon began combing and separating the strands.

"I'll write some notes on how to best care for it. Maybe next time you talk to your mother, you can get some ideas on what they've have been doing since I was last around." He paused in his braiding. "There's so much to being human, Finn, both past and present. Maybe it's selfish of me but I want you to proud of who you are. You may not be the last human anymore but that just means you're not alone. And we're done, not bad considering it's been about a millennia since I did my last braid."

With great reluctance, Finn raised himself up from the back of the chair. His braided hair was still wet but it felt cleaner and lighter than it had in a long time. Moreover, tension Finn didn't even realize had been in his neck, head and shoulders was gone. Jake suddenly popped into his vision.

"Bro, you look so pretty also like you just had the best rest of your life," he smiled awkwardly. "So is this like human equivalent of getting scratched in that itchy spot behind your ears? I guess that didn't really do anything for you, huh?" Finn smiled and reached up to scratch Jake's ears, smiling wider when Jake's tongue lolled out in satisfaction when Finn got to the right spot.

"So I'm still waiting to hear about this monster you two got so dirty defeating," Simon added, cleaning up his supplies. Finn and Jake regaled Simon with the story of the evil monster they'd fought which had been terrorizing the Goblin Kingdom. Finn had felt tired initially but was reinvigorated, animatedly reenacting the epic battle. They finished their cocoa as Simon discussed his own research into the history of Ooo. They decided to head out soon after as BMO was probably getting lonely back at the house. Simon handed Finn his now cleaned hat and a container of the hair products he'd used.

"The animal skin needs to dry fully before you put it back on but it should be good by tomorrow. You should wash your hair when it's dirty or at minimum every few days. Shampoo first, rinse then a small amount of conditioner before rinsing that out too. And do try to keep your head uncovered every now and again," Simon said, before patting Finn's shoulder. "You can call or stop by anytime if you have questions about anything."

Finn had searched his whole life for answers, for comfort, for someone like him. His dad had been a massive wad and his mom was nice but disconnected. But the former sad wizard he used to beat up had shown him the best way to wash his hair. Life was funny like that. He couldn't wait to see what it was going to throw at him next.

"You're gonna regret saying that because I have about a bajillion questions."

"I'll do my best to answer them, after all, we've got all the time in the world."

#adventure time #simon petrikov #finn the human #their relationship makes me so emo don't touch me #I don't mean to imply Finn doesn't take care of his hair #but he probably doesn't know the *best* way to care for human hair #most of the time its jammed up in his hat #even when its out its spiky and jumbled and probably not getting the care it needs #because Finn is considered the Last Human so human based care products arent really common in Ooo #Plus the idea of a Dog family trying to show affection to Finn in way that is nice and loving but not as physically pleasing hit me #a head massage is so deeply relaxing and personal but Jake would never have considered it #bc its not a dog thing #Finn just probably grows out his hair until for whatever reason it gets chopped #he didn't like *care for it*#idk Simon getting someone to teach and dote over and Finn getting a human mentor #Finn craved understanding and Simon craved being needed #they filled in the hole the other needed #Im done for now but Im NOT DONE gushing about these two

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13eyond13 · 2 months

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Question 6 for the "choose violence" ask game hehe

6. Which ship fans are most annoying? The ones in the fandom I've personally seen as most abrasive over the years are probably the MattxMello shippers who hate a lot on Near and Meronia tbh. I don't even really have much skin in that game myself, as shipping the successors isn't really of any interest to me. But successor arc fanfics written by those shippers are usually so biased against Near and so obsessed with turning Mello into some sex god or something I don't find interesting that I just don't even want to read them at all.

[choose violence]

#like i can respect m2 its a fine ship its nice that they get along #but dont pretend near isnt also a big part of that arc and of mello's character altogether #i just feel like a huge chunk of mello's character is missing when near isn't also in the picture somehow #so i cant really respect mello heads who dont at least acknowledge near idk #let alone just straight-up bully near and anyone who likes him or ships meronia #which i have seen a lot of as well!#ask #p #squidish

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fleshdyke · 2 months

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#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all.#and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it.#bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid.#and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core.#i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

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mikodaiyo · 11 months

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I saw everyone else drawing a full moon & wanted to join!

#sesskag #sesshomaru #kagome #sesshomaru x kagome #inuyasha #my art #ok ANYWAY #I was very excited to do the pantssssss i love this denim palette+brush its so fun #and less daunting to draw clothes! well modern clothes #I liked playing with brushes on this! I loosened my wrist and let it do what it wanted to kagome's hair #and I actually like ittt I have to remind myself hair is not just a dead thing on your head 💀 on my hairspray shit😆#I just needed to play and loosen up and focus on something elseeee anything else 😩 sesskag is nice its calming #I actually like looking at this omg I'm like next time i feel like going all out #I'm going to reference this photo because there are thingsssss #i wanted kagome's hair to pop more since its kinda the main feature AND I think I accomplished that #I could render it more but...nnnahhhh nah that's my too much gene trying to get out #Im gonna recharge and render the hair even better next time #and sess' hair fringe/bangs are getting harder and easier its weird #yoart

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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catie I NEED more vettonso lore for your au. please. (love u)

Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! C!!! Thank you so much for asking!! This took me a bit cause there’s a lot of stuff I want to cover and I had to figure out how to balance the explanation of the historical context and how I apply it to my AU. But seriously thank you for asking because I did more research to write this post and learned a lot of things that make me feel deranged but I cannot bring any of this up to anyone irl without sounding like a lunatic. I’d apologize for the length but you should expect this from me by now! (I realized this doc for this was 1.5k+ my god)

Basic Info: early 1700s historical AU with arranged marriage plot

Historical Context:

Okay, so this AU is based on a real historical event: The War of The Spanish Succession. Which is when the Spanish Throne was without a clear line of succession because the bloodline(Spanish Habsburgs) died out. So then, even though the previous Spanish King named his successor(Philip V, a Duke related to the French Royal family - representing Fernando in this AU), the Habsburgs still thought they should be allowed to keep the throne within their dynasty, thus offering up the second son(Charles VI - representing Seb in this AU) of the Holy Roman Emperor. So obviously they had to start a war because of it. But then the end result ended up being that because Charles VI’s older brother, the Holy Roman Emperor at the time, died during the war(because of illness though so it would have happened regardless), he became the next Emperor and Philip V ended up becoming the Spanish King after all, rendering it all pointless imo.

How does this relate to Vettonso?:

I'm not overly interested in either Charles VI and Philip V as people, but rather the roles they fulfill in this conflict, but obv I can’t help but draw on details from their lives. As I mentioned, Fernando is now Fernando I of Renault/France Spain and Seb is Sebastian I of Red Bull Austria. This is supposed to be like 2010-2012!Vettonso with Ferrari!Fernando and RBR!Seb(but like Fernando's title of Duke coming from France, because of his championships with Renault.) This AU is kinda just me looking at this historical event and thinking: wouldn’t a gay arranged marriage solve this succession quandary? But also just that it reminds me of Fernando and Seb’s rivalry, and the nationalities/kingdoms fit pretty well!!

Think about the throne of Spain as akin to winning a race, but becoming Holy Roman Emperor as winning the whole entire competition.(Also side note: real life Charles VI didn’t become a king until he became Emperor and adopted all of his brother’s titles, but I want Seb to be a boy king in this AU, so he can have a title as a treat.) Imagine you’re competing for something and you win it, but the only reason you win is because the other competitor won an even bigger prize!!!! Yay you got what you wanted but the boy king is now the emperor of most of Europe. And now you are stuck with him through lawfully wedded arranged marriage because they let you have what you wanted but only under the condition that the two kingdoms are still united. Yeah Fernando got the title, but Seb gained even more titles(get it???)

They probably have a lot of animosity coming into the marriage, like “how could I ever build a relationship with the man who tried to steal my birthright?” but then realize they’re pretty similar after all. Though obviously Fernando has a lot more resentment than Seb because Seb won the whole damn thing! He would have control over Spain as he’s the king but since it's still within the domain of the empire, Seb would always have the final say. And Seb tries to be magnanimous like “Don’t worry, I won’t interfere”, and Fernando is all snide with comments like “Oh thank you great imperial majesty, can I really? Would you really allow me to do so?” But eventually become loving co-rulers that still constantly snipe at each other over different decisions the other makes.

Some headcanons(I guess you’d still call it headcanons even if it's your own AU bcs it still comes from your head) + some fun facts from real life that have brainrotted me so I’m putting them in:

Their dynamic is just Seb being a very righteous, bratty boy king emperor who is unabashed about being that way, because he feels that it is his right, but still has a heart of gold and wants to treat his husband well no matter the circumstances leading to their marriage. And then Fernando is like a stray cat that keeps hissing and scratching because it’s really hard for him to accept the circumstances because he still feels humiliated, even though he got everything he wanted, but he still can’t help but be charmed by this baby emperor because he sees attributes of himself in Seb, and can’t really fault him because he would be the exact same, flaunting his power, if he were in Seb’s shoes.

They would have to speak in French to each other because that’s their shared language but eventually attempt to learn each other’s native languages! Imagine Seb has to travel to Spain to give some Emperor speech and Fernando then bullies him for his bad Spanish.

They would probably split where they live based on a schedule or by need. Yes, Fernando is the King of Spain but he is also the Emperor’s husband so he does have to spend time in the capital, Vienna. And then since Spain is a part of the empire, Seb has to go routinely, but y’know also to spend time with his husband. They find that their marriage as well as their politics is full of having to make concessions and compromises in order to make it work.

Something I find funny is that as compensation for not getting the Spanish throne back, Spain had to cede some Italian territories to the Empire. That is literally the Ferrari plot with the transfer from Fernando to Seb!!

I’m not sure how the titles would work in this AU because obviously a m/m political marriage has not ever happened(as far as I know.) But I guess Fernando would just be King Fernando I of Spain and then Seb would be Holy Roman Emperor Sebastian I with the million titles that come with being in that role(though like most importantly Archduke of Austria and King of Bohemia and Hungary, etc.) I like the idea that Seb tries to share some titles with Fernando as a show of good will but Fernando is so affronted, mostly just from embarrassment, like “oh you think I need your good will?? I can’t be happy with what I earned in my own right??” But their kids would receive both titles and would be split in the traditional way, like first kid getting it all mostly, but the others still being nobility obv(yes.. there would be mpreg because of the plot need for succession….don’t ask who…)

They bond through their love of horses, particularly fast horses. The first time they go riding together, they’re both like awkwardly trying to act very proper as a sense of showmanship to the other like “I’m more mature than you”, but then can’t stop trying to get ahead of the other person and eventually break into a full-on race. Their aids are mutually like “oh god, they’re both the same type of insane.”

Irl Charles VI was so salty about losing the throne that he wouldn’t stop dressing like a traditional Spanish monarch. I can totally see Seb doing that and Fernando getting so pissed with him like “you became emperor!! What more could you possibly want???’ and Seb then fixing him with his biggest pout and saying “your throne!” But also Fernando being weirdly into it because it’s basically Seb presenting himself blatantly as Fernando’s spouse.

In that same vein, I’m going crazy over how there’s a painting from before the war, of Philip V wearing vestments from both the French order of chivalry and the Habsburg order of chivalry. Like basically stating the desire to see those two lines combined into one kingdom, which fits so well into this AU. Just Seb going crazy over how Fernando is willingly branding himself as belonging to Seb’s house.

A testimony of Philip V’s personality is that he was a “neurotic, vacillating ruler, concerned with outward decorum and brave only in battle,” god can you not sense the energy of Fernando in that statement???

Very important to me that Charles VI reportedly had many male lovers, and that his soulmate was one of his courtiers. Maybe there can be a bit of Martian or Sebson cheating plot with them being his courtiers hahaha

Not very relevant in this AU but there’s something about how Philip V had the longest ever reign of a Spanish monarch. Is that not Fernando??? Old man who will rule on forever, or should I say, forever keep his seat

I already obv posted the wip for this but I'll include it here again as visual rep hehehe:

I've spent way too much time lately trying to research the fashion of the time ugh. But this, as I said, is like first joint portrait session into the marriage. And I guess I kind of want them to be wearing their corronation clothing, which I'm pretty solid on for Seb but still need to research more for Fernando. I think I'll maybe try and just put him in the afformentioned traditional Spanish monarch clothing, but the fact that it's all black kinda bores me, I'd rather he wear red!! This is like a typical royal couple type pose, except they're being more tactile. Also there's something to be said about the symbolism of Fernando being the one standing and Seb being the one sitting hehehe....

#*oh also posting this in my typical habit of scheduling posts for when i sleep so sry if i dont respond bcs i am in fact asleep #*sorry for making you wait for this C! I said in a bit but then i didnt...i like waking up to notes okay ...BUT AGAIN TYSM FOR ASKING #alternate title for this post: what being in Austria does to a man #I mentioned to my friend from the trip abt how having been there has affected me and has made me think way too much about the history #and shes like 'oh yeah ive not really thought about austria too much since coming back'#me just sitting there with my phone gallery full of historical paintings for reference and my head full of research like: 'haha oh okay...'#often my thoughts about AUs is just a bunch of rambling thoughts in my head #so its very nice and helpful to have to write it out like this and turn it into something more than absent thought #most of the headcanons spontaneneously popped into my head while I was writing out the main section hahah #hope you enjoy!!!! hopefully I'll be able to finish my drawing of them !!#especially since I'll prob never end up writing a fic bcs i like writing rambling but anything more formalized is soooo difficult for me #vettonso #catie.rambling.txt #catie.asks.#formula 1 #boy king au

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