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#it's worse when she tries to show me a 3 minute video like oh my godddd
plumdale · 2 years
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the dread i feel when my mom calls me to look at a facebook meme/video is real
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ughgoaway · 6 months
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i guess this would be pre teacher/reader but i saw a tiktok about baby wearing and all i can think about is matty trying it with annie when she was much younger and him just going about his day with annie strapped to his chest asleep especially in the studio with the boys 🥺
anon. this has literally been rotting my brain since you sent it. I can't stop thinking about it.
I'm envisioning new dad matty, his mum has been staying with him for a few weeks and has just left and he is so fucking overwhelmed. it's been 2 hours and he can't get Annie to go to sleep, any time he tries to put her down she just screams bloody murder. and to make matters worse, he absolutely has to be at the studio in an hour to fix this song.
matty is shushing her and bouncing her around when he remembers something carly and Adam got him before Annie arrived, some weird baby wrap thing he never thought he'd use. he quickly scavenges around her room for it (Annie is still in his arms because he values his ear drums) and manages to find it squished behind some piles of clothes he has yet to put away.
at first when he pulls it out of the box, he is fucking baffled. it's just a long strip of stretchy fabric and matty has no idea what to do with it. but the second he puts her down to try and figure it out, the screaming starts again.
so he looks up a YouTube video, props his phone up against the kettle, and tries to follow this lovely woman's tutorial. it looks easy enough, tie a knot here, loop this bit through there, and so on.
it takes him a few goes. The first couple attempts look like matty lost a fight with this fabric, but soon enough... "Aha! fuck you stupid fabric!" he says triumphantly. he had to put Annie down to really figure it out so the last 10 minutes were filled with the desperate cries of his 3 month old but he thinks he's got it.
so he picks her up and slips her in, and there she is, wrapped up against his chest. and finally... silence. no cries. no screaming. just silence.
well annie might not be crying, matty feels pretty fucking close considering how exhausted he is. but any anger or frustration just melts away when he looks down at her, Annie's eyes have finally fluttered closed and she's fast asleep on his chest.
it brings him back to the day she was born, the skin to skin he did with her just minutes after. he'll never forget the instant love and complete devotion he felt in that moment. and having her now, slightly less gross, sitting fast asleep on him brings everything back.
before he starts crying (again) over how beautiful his daughter is and how much he loves her, he gets a disgruntled phone call from George who has been waiting outside for 5 mins to walk with matty to the studio.
now with both hands free matty can grab the baby bag, his phone and his keys and run down to meet George.
when he comes out George is leaning on the wall outside fully engrossed in his phone, that is until he catches a glimpse of matty and immediate begins to crack up.
"Oh, mother dearest, what do we have here?" he teases, walking over to matty whose eyes are sunken and hair is sticking up in every direction. last time George saw him this frazzled was after he first found out he was having Annie and wasn't exactly coping well with the news, how times have changed.
"Oh shut up, will you. she wouldn't stop crying unless I held her, and I quite like having 2 arms, so I grabbed this thing carly gave me and wrapped her up. and look how cute and happy she is, George. "
matty spins around and shows George Annie's sleeping face, and he's never seen his friend just immediately melt before his eyes. George simply gasps and brings his finger up to gently stroke her cheek, Annie grumbles slightly and wiggles but soon settles back into her place in her dad's chest.
"Dude." George says, flicking his eyes from Annie to matty, "she's the cutest baby ever. don't tell Adam and carly I said that, tho"
matty just laughs and nods, both men staring with such love at little Annie Healy.
she sleeps the whole walk there and through Adam and Ross arriving, who both have similar reactions to George. After the initial teasing, both men crumble at the sight of their best friend being a dad.
"god, how did you make something so cute??" Adam jokingly says.
"Can I try this wrap thing too??? you look stupid, but she's so happy I just need to do this, " says Ross, who's rubbing her back softly through the layers of fabric.
matty agrees and says once she's awake, he's free to have a try. She stays asleep for a little bit, but as soon as mattys voice rings out of the speakers, she perks up. Big brown eyes blinking up at matty with a gummy grin to match. Once each man sees that, they all want a turn wearing her.
of course, they somehow turn this into a competition.
Ross claims he's her favourite because Annie simply stares up at him with wide eyes the whole time she's strapped to him, smile not leaving her face. he even plays bass with her still attached to him, a new skill he's very proud of. he keeps his hair safely in his bun, though, not wanting her to get a grip. (Annie does later become obsessed with Ross' hair because who wouldn't?)
George claims he's the favourite because she makes the most gargling noises when he has her. he walks her around the room, talking to her and explaining the studio. "So this is soundproof padding Annie, basically it's so other people don't have to hear when your dad does a shit take" "Oi! don't swear at my child George. and don't slag me off!!"
adam claims he's the favourite because, "I'm just a natural. look how chill she is. " Annie is very chill with him, just kinda enjoying life and vibing. no nonsense, just a happy little girl.
matty knows she's happiest with him though, as soon as she feels the rhythm of his heart and smells her dad, she just falls right asleep. the closer she can get, the better.
so needless to say, the baby wrap is a hit, and Annie becomes the hottest fashion accessory for the men of the 1975. the day she finally grows out of it is a sad, sad day for them all.
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(this is what I mean when I'm talking ab the wrap btw <3)
more blurbs for this au here!!
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play-exy-be-sexy · 3 years
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the foxes roles in the gc
Neil:
Replies when necessary or if he is in a good mood.
It's always short replies.
If it's an ongoing conversation he'll say one thing and then leave.
It usually goes something like this:
"Oh! Neil's active, hi Neil!"
"Hi, I agree with Renee."
...
"Wait, did he leave already?"
Andrew:
You probably guessed this already but he never answers.
Even if the question is directed at him he won't say anything.
Occasionally you may get a yes or no.
Or he'll like the message but that's it.
The poor foxes will always get their hopes up when his little texting bubbles show up.
But he literally just key smashes to make them think he's going to say something.
Asshole, yeah we know.
Neil finds it funny so Andrew keeps doing it.
Kevin:
Kevin won't engage in "meaningless" conversation.
If the messaging is about exy, he'll always be one of the first to answer.
But as soon as it turns to something else he's gone.
Unless it's to correct someone's spelling mistakes.
He never fails to do that.
He's constantly messaging the foxes reminders and updates and their schedules.
He texts very professionally though.
Like it's an email.
He doesn't abbreviate or anything.
Grandpa Kevin
"Good morning, a reminder to be at the gym in 10 minutes dressed and ready. Neil, if you forget your water bottle again you're running ten extra laps."
"We have a game in two days, night practice at approximately 10 p.m."
Aaron:
Aaron is worse than Andrew.
He will answer questions directed at him but only if they are very very recent and he happens to be on the group chat.
King of thumbs up
and
"OK"
Nicky:
Nicky is singlehandedly keeping the group chate alive.
He's that one person in the group chat who's constantly sending TikToks, Instagram posts, recipes, people he finds hot, Pinterest inspo boards, etc.
He's steering the conversations.
He's starting them back up when it starts to die.
He's sending cat memes 24/7.
He's ranting at 3 in the morning when no one is active.
He's giving everyone a play by play update on his day.
He's doing it all.
And we love him for that.
The others may complain about it, but they actually enjoy it.
And they know it makes Nicky happy to have people listening to him, especially when those people are his friends.
Plus, he just really loves texting and the internet.
Matt:
All the upperclassmen are active in the gc, including Matt.
I mean, it was his and Dan's idea, so they kinda have to be.
Matt types like this:
Y do u h8 me, Kev?
"Maybe, it's because you type like you are incapable of spelling out 'you'."
He's also the local meme provider.
Any kind of meme you want, Matt probably has it saved in his camera roll.
LOTS of exy memes.
He saves those for when Neil or Kevin haven't been saying anything for a few days.
Sometimes he'll get scared to send one.
So, he runs it by Dan first.
She always tells him to send them.
He's very good at finding funny and fitting posts.
Dan:
Dan is probably the most active on the gc, other than maybe Nicky.
But the foxes tend to answer her more.
No offense to Nicky...
Her captain-y privelge transfers to text too ig.
Dan will send the gc good morning texts, reminders(ones Kevin forgets about or isn't to be bothered with), articles about the foxes, workout videos, etc.
She loves sending compilations to the group chat.
Like:
"10 Times Neil Josten Flips Off teammate, Kevin Day."
"Or Matt Boyd and Dan Wilds Cutest on Court Kisses."
"Dan didn't you mean to just send that to Matt."
"NO! I thought you all would like it!"
She also sends them not so fun things.
If a bit of bad press is released she is the first to know and immediately sends it to the gc.
Also things like:
"Traffic on the way 2 court is bad, leave early."
"Crazy man on the corner by the parking lot, be careful!"
Dan is the group chat mom and we love that for her.
Allison:
Allison will not start conversations but she is always a part of them.
LOVES to start drama in the group chat.
and talk about gossip.
"did you guys see what neil was wearing today?wtf*puke emoji*"
"Allison, I can see this."
"good, maybe you'll listen to me then.*kissy emoji*"
She likes to text just in emojis sometimes.
Lots of kissing emojis.
And middle finger ones.
She also sends selfies when she feels like it.
Or when she likes her outfit.
"Allison we don't want to see your slutty outfit."
"stfu nicky, ur just jealous.*middle finger and kissy emoji*"
She doesn't type in uppercase.
Kevin is appalled.
Overall, she's a pretty standard group chat member.
But add some *richness*
Renee:
Renee does her best to stay active on the chat.
exy and non exy related conversations.
She tries to answer every one, like the sweetheart she is.
She likes to send cute things.
and motivational things.
or aesthetic pictures.
"I thought you guys would like this picture of a baby goat, have a good day!"
She tries to send good morning messages every day.
sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't.
She tries, that's what matters.
A lot of the time the conversations are just her and Nicky.
Like in real life, she is usually the mediator when things get heated or bad.
"Allison, was the emoji really necessary?"
"reneeeee, babe, we are supposed to be on the same team!"
If she knows someone has a test or something important coming up she'll message them "good luck" on the gc.
Mainly so the others will do the same.
"Good luck on your test, Aaron!"
"Oh, yeah! You got it, man!" (Matt)
"If you pass, we can skip half our laps:)" (Dan)
"No, we will not."(Kevin)
"Literally, no one asked you Kevin."(Andrew)
"Whoa! Andrew said something!*excited squealing*" (Nicky)
*Andrew Minyard has left the group chat*
*Renee Walker has added Andrew Minyard to the group chat*
Wymack:
Matt added Wymack as a joke.
As soon as Wymack saw what it was, he left.
Nicky had the nerve to add him back though.
"Add me to this shit show one more time and I'm signing you all up for five marathons."
*sends an article about all upcoming marathons*
*Matt Boyd has kicked David Wymack out of chat*
I think this is my first super long post in ages! It started as a little post but I got inspired(which hasn't happened in a very long time either!). Anyway, I hope you like it! Also, I'm sure this has been made before so if you have done this I promise I didn't steal your idea:)
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cobaincreates · 3 years
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the fuck is a touron? pt. 2
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warnings: language, mention of drugs & alcohol, smut (wrap it you're smart), very brief oral (male receiving), 18+
count: 9k+
part one is here! i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it! also remember when i said this has been sitting for a couple months?? welp, it’s been longer than that...oops. but it's all yours now!!! :)
taglist is always open. have a lovely weekend! photo cred
— — —
3 weeks earlier
a loud blare jolted you awake.
“what the fuck?”
you scrambled to stop the noise, your heart nearly jumping out of your chest. your head knocked into something hard as you twisted and tried to assemble your brain.
a clatter of what sounded like several bottles came from your right. the sound still rang out into the room—which was where exactly?
as you got to your hands and knees and shuffled against what felt like carpet, you remembered vaguely that you’d gone out last night. the carpet and dark room didn’t tell you much else. but the trilling alarm was enough to set you into a search to find that out.
“shut that off!” a voice yelled from behind you.
your hand knocked into more bottles and you grappled for one, feeling the familiar shape of a glass beer bottle. someone groaned in front of you then a blinding light pierced across your eyes. you sucked in a breath, dropping the bottle and covering your eyes.
what, were you a vampire? you peeked past your fingers to a parted curtain letting in a sliver of sunlight. you saw a little more of where you’d been, the light trail full of bottles and some sprawled legs and arms.
the alarm cut off suddenly. soft snores and labored breaths filled the silence now, along with a pounding in your ears so intense, you would’ve thought you were still hearing the alarm. a slow, gradual ache formed in the center of your forehead.
you blinked as your eyes adjusted to the light. a sparkling stiletto caught your attention, but it wasn’t on a foot. you looked around the room and spotted its twin near the back of a couch. crawling over, you found liza laying on her back with her hair messily splayed around her.
she was yawning while her phone lit up her face in a soft glow. when your eyes met, she whispered, “hey.”
you faintly remembered her setting an alarm on her phone somewhere in between jell-o shots and body shots. or was it after the jäger bombs?
you let out an oomf as you collapsed beside her on your stomach. your head didn’t let up the pounding. you made a noise, your words muffled against the stale-smelling carpet.
“what?” liza said, not having heard any coherent words.
you turned your head, the carpet scratching your cheek. “i said, nurse me back to health, please.”
“i told you not to do those lines,” she said, shaking her head.
“what?” you said a little too loudly, earning a few shh!s in return.
“i’m kidding,” liza laughed.
you grimaced, mostly at her but also at the hair in your mouth. you reached up to remove it and sat up while liza looked at her phone.
“what time is it?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder around the room.
no one else had moved from liza’s wake-up alarm. your vision was clearer now and you took in the trashed room. bottles lay everywhere, a few staining the carpet in dark puddles. a lamp was on the floor, its shade across the room over someone’s head. it was warm considering the blackout curtains keeping the morning sun out and you couldn’t imagine sleeping in here any longer.
your head pounded again as liza said, “noon.”
“can we go? i might throw up from how hot it is in here.” you pulled at your dress, wanting nothing more than to get under some cold water.
liza sat up and looked around, dropping her phone into her lap. “i need my other shoe.”
“it’s over here,” you said and crawled to retrieve it for her.
she put it on, her dress riding up her thighs before she stood and pulled it back down. you took her offered hand so she could help you up. your heels sank into the carpet and you looked down, finding a soggy spot where beer had seeped in. you frowned and grabbed ahold of liza’s arm to find your way out.
your small crossbody clutch was resting on the couch cushion and you reached for it over a girl’s sleeping form, careful not to wake her. she made a small noise and you snatched it quickly, feeling the weight of your phone inside.
liza ordered an uber to bring you back to campus. it was fifteen minutes away and you panicked for a brief moment from not knowing where the hell you were. last night was a whole blur apart from arriving and getting into the swing of things. you remember dancing and drinking and having fun with liza and a few other friends. it wasn’t usual for you to sleep at random people’s houses after parties, but last night must have been a little more eventful than others.
you let out a long breath you didn’t know you were holding as you sank into the back of the uber driver’s car. luckily, you didn’t get someone hopped up on coffee or blasting music. it was quiet and calm, enough so that you closed your eyes.
speaking of coffee, you could really use one. and food. and a shower. had you really slept on that nasty carpet last night? you shuddered and opened your eyes.
fishing out your phone from your clutch, you saw a few notifications from last night and the past few hours. you ignored them for now and unlocked your phone with the goal of texting one of your friends who worked at the diner in town and begging him to have your usual ready when you got there. it was all you could think about as your stomach rumbled.
but when you unlocked your phone, your eyebrows drew together. your screen opened to an internet tab, a little plane logo at the top corner.
“why the fuck did i buy a ticket to the outer banks?” you blurted to no one in particular. well, maybe to your friend beside you, who lived in the outer banks.
liza lolled her head toward you on the back of the seat, not at all looking as concerned as you felt. “you’re visiting, remember? i talked you into buying it last night.”
“why?” your head seemed to throb even worse.
you couldn’t go to the outer banks. you didn’t have the money for it and the ticket on your internet browser said you’d even bought a round trip one. god, why had you done that? you were saving up for the summer. you were saving up to see so much more than the outer banks. as much as you loved liza, and you knew she’d love to have you there, you would be wasting a weekend. how were you going to tell your boss that you needed off at such short notice?
liza shrugged beside you. “because my dad will be gone for a whole weekend and i’m throwing the biggest party ever and you love me and you promised to dance to ‘back that ass up’ with me there.”
“oh my god,” you groaned and dropped your phone into your lap. you rubbed your pulsing temples. “i can’t go, liza. i really need the money.”
“hence why you have a job—said job will pay that back in a week. you’re fine,” she waved her hand and turned back to the window.
“i need to work that weekend,” you argued. just thinking about asking for it off had your skin crawling.
“you can take time off. you never do.” liza shrugged, looking at you again. her face softened when she noticed how distraught you were over it. “look, if you really don’t want to, then just cancel it. it’s okay if you don’t come.”
your fingers came away from your head as you saw that she was being genuine. she may have joked around with you a lot, but she meant it when she said that.
friday
getting time off wasn’t easy. your boss acted like the ultimate villain in a boss level from a video game, having you go through all of these obstacles just to get three days off. you understood it, you were short-staffed anyways and it was hard, but you couldn’t help feeling as though they were a little harsh on you. it was always a fight to get time off, even when you showed up every day, on time, and did your work without complaint.
right after you talked to your boss, feeling the ultimate amount of shame over requesting three days, you searched high and low for someone to cover your shift. turns out, it wasn’t all that difficult to begin with since one of your co-workers—who just had a baby and was still a full-time student—told you they’d appreciate the extra hours. you felt instantly better afterward until your boss asked you to fill out three separate sheets for the time off. no, you couldn’t just write the three days on one sheet. it had to be three. separate. sheets.
it was completely ridiculous and uncalled for. you fumed for a while, pressing way too hard on your pen as you filled them out. once you set them on their desk, all filled out properly, you reminded yourself you could quit soon. just a few more months of the semester and you’d be gone.
the next day when you came in, your boss had allegedly lost those request papers. and funnily enough, they allowed you to put the weekend dates on one paper this time. you’d stared at them for a whole three minutes, paper in your hand and tongue between your teeth with angry words just dying to get out. you can quit soon. you can quit soon.
the weeks dragged by before the day finally arrived and you left for your flight. it was only when you got off the plane that the hours started to fly by. it was colder this time around, which you didn’t mind, even on the breezy ferry ride. you were looking forward to campfires and cozy sweaters.
you hopped off the ferry around noon and right into liza’s waiting arms at the dock. she was overjoyed about you visiting and you knew all the trouble with work was worth it just to get away for a little. you were young, there was no shame in a little time off, and liza was right—you’d already earned the money back for the ticket.
liza’s dad was bustling around their house when you arrived, packing like a crazy person on a time crunch. he threw a hello at you as he shuffled past with an armful of socks and possibly underwear, which had you lifting an eyebrow at liza. she shoved your arm and took your bag into the guest bedroom.
“where’s your dad running off to? can i go?” you teased, dropping your backpack onto the light green comforter. the white walls seemed brighter this time, but you accounted it for the new sheer curtains over the windows facing the back of the house.
“he’s going on a business trip. and no, you can’t. his girlfriend is going with him.” liza left your bag near the dresser and hopped on the bed, the comforter sighing under her weight.
“girlfriend? aw, man.” you frowned dramatically and lay on your stomach beside her. “do we like this girlfriend?”
“she’s very...” her left eye squinted as she thought. “eccentric. like, i don’t know how to take it. he seems happy though.”
“like, weird eccentric or crazy eccentric?”
“i don’t know. i haven’t breached the abortion topic with her yet. that could be very telling, don’t you think?” a playful smile hinted at her lips.
“totally telling,” you agreed.
minutes later, you were waving liza’s dad off as he pulled out of the driveway, liza standing a few steps in front of you. once he was gone and out of sight down the drive, liza turned back to you with a flourish and a cheshire grin spread on her face. you laughed as she pushed you into the house and began jumping excitedly. music started playing somewhere in between the jumping, which promptly turned to dancing in the kitchen. having a whole house to yourselves was always a thrilling thing.
it wasn’t long after that that liza told you to get ready for a party at the boneyard, as she called it. you had no idea whether to take that literally or just go along with it and be surprised. you went with the latter as you changed out of your airport clothes.
as you were heading that way, you thought about that one fling you had the last time you were here. what was his name? something rich, with a t. tom? trenton? no, no, something obscure. topper. god, you nearly forgot about him, but now that you were visiting again, you wondered if he was around. in the middle of the semester seemed like your luck would be out.
liza was slowing the car as you thought to text topper, just to see if he was here. you hadn’t talked since that summer—what was it? seven months ago? you hadn’t felt the need to keep in touch. didn’t he say to shoot him a text when you were in town again? you supposed there was no harm in doing so. what could be the worst thing to happen? maybe he wouldn’t be in town, but you wouldn’t be all that bummed about not having a hookup. you weren’t as ravenous as you were in the summer.
“are you getting out?”
your head turned and you found liza standing with the door open, her keys dangling from her hand. you hadn’t noticed that the car had parked or that you’d arrived at wherever the boneyard was. the beach was right in front of you, just over a small crest in the sand. you could smell it slipping into the car from where liza held the door propped open.
you opened your own door and hopped out, the gravel crunching under your shoes. you were glad you opted for a sweater with the early spring wind from the water as it blew over your shoulders and tangled into your hair.
a handful of people were already on the beach, stripped driftwood scattered around. most used them as seats while there was a fire already going and drinks in their hands. you couldn’t help but smile at the sight, a giddiness filling your chest. this was exactly what you needed and the perfect setting for it.
liza pulled you into a group with some familiar faces that you had met the last time around. small talk was immediately flowing and you couldn’t care less for it, but you welcomed it anyways. liza was quick to guide you to the next group and the next before you finally got comfortable with a drink in hand. you sipped it steadily and ditched your shoes with liza’s, sticking them under a piece of driftwood behind where you stood. one of liza’s friends was asking you about your degree, something along the lines of why you had chosen it. you couldn’t comprehend it fully as your eyes drifted around the sand where people stood in small groups and larger ones.
standing near an overturned lifeguard post that was sure to be rotting away was none other than topper. he was facing away from you, but you had no doubt in your mind that it was him. his hair was blonder than it was when you met, funnily enough in the colder months. he wore a sweatshirt (blue or dark green, you couldn’t tell) paired with shorts and (surprisingly) sneakers.
you turned back to liza’s friend, giving them a somewhat vague but good answer. you then excused yourself and split from the group to head in topper’s direction. you stopped just outside of his larger group and crossed your arms, holding on to your beer by the neck loosely. it took a minute or two for topper to notice you, obviously feeling a presence behind him and doing a double-take. you already had a smirk on your face.
“holy shit, hi.” he blinked rapidly, turning away from his friends.
“hi,” you laughed. both of you went in for a hug at the same time. topper pressed your waist firmly to his while you hugged him around his shoulders.
“it’s good to see you,” you said.
“yeah, you too.” there was surprise in his voice and features as if he never thought he would see you again. your hand slipped down his arm as you pulled away before you took a step back, your hands resting at your sides.
“how have—“
“hey! the touron’s back!” a voice over his shoulder shouted.
you looked in its direction, finding a menacing smirk on an all too familiar face. you couldn’t remember his name as he sipped arrogantly on a beer, perched on the rotting lifeguard’s post.
you found your own sweet smile and raised your free hand to flip him off, which only egged him on more as his laughter filtered out. you were instantly annoyed, although you didn’t show it as he had brought unwanted attention to you and topper. you were sure most of the people in this larger group had been on topper’s deck that day in the summer.
topper looked at a loss for words when you turned back to him, his eyes still on you. you were glad he wasn’t laughing at his friend’s comment.
“can i get you another drink?” he gestured to the bottle between your fingers and you glanced down, seeing that it was a sip away from empty.
you gave him a nod as you said, “sure.”
the sun was setting by the time you got a refill, the glass cold against your palm, and wandered off with topper toward the water. conversation flowed as you caught up, shrugging as you told him all you had been doing was working and studying. you were lucky if you got to go out and have fun once in a while. topper expressed the same, talking animatedly about college and visiting home for the weekend to see his friends.
you wondered what he was like at college, if he spent most of his quieter hours in the library reading articles or if he was the type of friend to take up guard in the kitchen at parties. it was easy to imagine him in those situations since you hardly knew him. his smirking friend certainly didn’t seem the type.
you flicked some wet sand into the water, imagining the waves bringing it back to settle at your feet. topper stood beside you, the wind tousling his locks. you had just mentioned how your mother had bought a new coffee machine and how your dad canceled it because there was no point in having two. your mother just figured it would be easier having two so no one had to wait on the single-cup brewing system. it made you laugh and roll your eyes when you heard about it over the phone. topper had been smiling the whole time as he listened, his head inclined like you were whispering.
a rush of heat had slithered down between your thighs when you caught his eyes a couple times. he was just watching you as you spoke and you couldn’t help but smile flirtatiously, wondering if he was thinking what you were thinking.
how you were imagining last summer and the feel of his hands on your skin. you wished you’d gotten to know more of him; if he had any scars or little beauty marks that you didn’t notice the first time. it was easy to imagine it, but you had the burning curiosity to see for yourself.
you needed to take a break, to get a gulp of air before you drowned in the thought and jumped his bones right here and now.
“i should go find liza,” you said abruptly even though no one had been speaking. “i’ll see you around?”
topper nodded without a word and you caught a glimpse of confusion on his face, but you walked away. you let out a deep breath as you felt the wet sand turn dry under your feet. the sky was an inky pink behind you, windshields on cars reflecting it back.
you wrapped an arm around liza when you found her and she smiled knowingly. you didn’t have to ask if she’d seen you with topper, it was quite obvious in such an open area.
topper took up his place with the group you took him away from, but this time he was facing your way. you closed your lips around your bottle, staring back at him as he did the same thing. a shiver went up your legs, goosebumps exposing to the crisp air around you. you had to look away before you walked over there and kissed the hell out of him. your heart was behaving rather poorly now.
but could you help it? every time he looked at you as the sky grew darker and the bonfire grew larger, every obscene image possible took shelter behind your eyes. your mouth dried out so many times that you eventually had to get another drink and another. topper wasn’t making it easy and you started digging holes with your feet just to stay put.
you wouldn’t go to him, you made that very clear to yourself. if topper wanted you, then he’d have to make the first move. stubborn as it was maybe, but you’d torture him if you had to like he was torturing you now with all of these looks under his lashes. christ.
“my god,” liza said into your ear as she stood on the driftwood behind you, arms around your neck. “you’d think topper was a starving man.”
“shut up,” you laughed and looked at a fallen log in the fire pit.
“i’m serious. you guys have been undressing each other for an hour and a half now. just go over there and make out with him.”
you smiled into your drink, keeping your eyes far away from topper, or else you might actually do just that.
“there’s hardly any pda going on as it is, we need entertainment,” liza sighed.
“there’s your entertainment,” you nodded your head toward a rowdy group of young high schoolers shouting at each other. three of them looked angry as all hell and there was a bit of shoving before one of the older college boys broke it apart.
“that was short-lived,” liza frowned as she hopped down from the driftwood.
“you want another drink?” you asked her as she finished off her last one.
“yes, please!” she beamed as you took her bottle and tossed them into a nearby trash bin. you headed for the stocked cooler and grabbed two beers. as you stood, topper was making his way over.
“you have any plans after this?” he asked without much preamble.
you smiled, pulling the tops off and taking a sip from your own, eyeing him as you did. that flicker of heat made its way back between your thighs, warming you all over. you couldn’t deny the suggestion in his question excited you and you were giving yourself a mental pat on the back for being patient.
“nope, i’m all yours.”
topper smiled slowly, his eyes flicking to your lips as you licked them. okay, maybe jumping his bones here and now wasn’t a terrible idea. but you needed to string this out, you wanted it to last—whatever it was.
“i don’t want to leave yet though. i’ll come find you?” it implied that you’d make him wait longer than you really would, but it was satisfying to see him practically drool at the thought of what was to come.
liza was giddy when you went back over, either for the beer or when you told her that you’d be going off with topper for a little. she smirked, knowing exactly what for, but she didn’t mind. she wasn’t leaving anytime soon, and not without you.
you didn’t make topper wait long. when you were ready, another beer in and a relieved bladder, you touched topper’s elbow as he talked with his friends closer to the cooler. the ice was partly melted, but there were still plenty of drinks left. the fire was feeding off sweltering heat, and with the cold wind, it was perfect.
“hey, you ready?” you asked when topper turned to you.
you weren’t sure exactly what topper had in mind when he had asked you if you were busy for the rest of the night, but not having a clue thrilled you a little.
“yeah,” he nodded and took the last sip from his beer. his slid his hand up, capturing yours before tugging you along toward the parked cars. hardly anyone was over there. you could faintly hear voices and sounds from inside a few cars, some windows cracked. your fingertips warmed as your heart beat, pushing blood to every corner.
topper’s jeep came in sight and you tried to remember the inside. was there enough room for both of you in the back seat? or maybe you’d share one of the front ones. it didn’t matter to you, as long as he put his lips to use.
your back met the side of the jeep as topper leaned his hands on the window, caging you in. you were quick to close the space between you, either the beer taking the reins or your lack of patience from the past few hours of being here and having a staring contest with him. your breaths mingled and your hands grabbed fistfuls of his sweatshirt to pull him closer. the familiar tingles spread between your thighs and you wasted no time in showing him how impatient you were.
“i don’t think either of us is fit enough to drive, topper,” you breathed when you had the chance.
there was no way you could drive with everything you drank. topper tasted like the beer too, but you weren’t sure if he was fit enough to drive either. you didn’t want to chance it, nor could you wait that long.
“what do you want to do?” he asked against the skin of your neck, his nose skimming up the side. he pressed a few kisses, getting closer to your jaw.
you tilted your head back against the door and sighed, closing your eyes momentarily then opening them to find a few stars winking at you. there were so many once you focused on them. topper interrupted your gaze, pulling you by the back of your head to his lips. he kissed you as if you were his last meal, his tongue licking into your mouth. you moaned, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his hair. you remembered him being this much of a good kisser.
“let’s find a spot on the beach,” you suggested, only getting a kiss on the corner of his mouth before he pulled away.
his eyes were blown wide, his hair ruffled. if you looked hard enough, his cheeks were sure to be flushed, both from alcohol and excitement.
“seriously?” he asked, his hand stilling on the back of your head.
you laughed and nodded, brushing a lock of his hair. “yeah, why not?”
a cold wind blew, tossing your hair into your eyes. topper caught it and pushed it back to its spot behind your ear.
“i think you’re the girl of my dreams,” he joked.
you grinned and slid your hands down his chest. “do you have a towel?”
topper had to pick his jaw up off the gravel before he finally moved away from you and opened his jeep. he ruffled around in the back then finally pulled out a blanket.
“very resourceful,” you commented as he closed the door.
“never know when you might need it,” he said as he threw it around you, shielding your bare legs from the wind. he turned again to the jeep and bent over the driver’s seat to get something. you saw it was a condom when he turned back and closed the door.
“also resourceful.”
he laughed then took your hand back in his. you headed back toward the beach but in the opposite direction of where the bonfire was. it was quieter the further you got, nothing but the waves coming into the shore. it was darker too; all the more private.
topper took the blanket from you and settled it down. you took a seat as he fixed a corner, swiping sand that had gotten on to it. once he sat beside you, he pulled you back against his lips.
you knelt up and scooted closer, placing your hands on his shoulders for leverage as you swung a leg over his waist. you sat in his lap and hummed as you felt him against your thigh. he squeezed you closer in response.
“i’ve never fucked someone on a beach before,” you admitted as you slipped your hands under his sweatshirt and the t-shirt beneath, pushing them up.
“i’ve never fucked anyone outside before.”
“what?” you pulled away to look down at him, your hands freezing on his chest. he was breathing deeply and you swore you felt the patter of his heart against your fingertips. “really?”
“yeah,” he shrugged and glanced over your shoulder toward the water. “just never had the chance to try.”
“what do you mean? you live on an island.” you let his clothes fall back down, stopping above his belly button. “i’ve been here twice and i’ve seen at least twenty ideal places that would be perfect for it.”
“i don’t know, i never asked anyone and no one asked me.” he shrugged again and you knew you were looking way too into this, but it seemed impossible that he hadn’t done this at least once before. you knew that if you lived here, you would’ve done it countless times.
your hands slid back up. “well, tonight’s your lucky night.”
you pulled topper back to your lips, tongues meeting. his hands rubbed along your back and you couldn’t help but arch into him as he slipped them beneath your sweater. his hands were so warm that it felt as if he set fire to your skin. you moaned and sunk your teeth into his lip briefly. a shiver wrecked your body just as topper’s hands came around to your front, sliding up to your breasts. you felt your nipples peek at the contact and topper made it even worse when his thumbs brushed over them.
“christ, it’s cold,” you mumbled as another shiver came and went.
“mhmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure that’s what it is.”
you laughed and wanted to swat at him. instead, you swallowed that little bit of nerves edging close to the surface and reached a hand to his lap. you watched as topper’s lips parted as your hand squeezed him over his shorts. the fabric was soft as topper grew harder. you relished in his expression, the way his eyebrows were drawn together, and how his jaw flinched when he closed his mouth.
topper’s hands fell away as you stood. he looked ready to pull you back down until he realized what you were doing and watched closely as you pulled your shorts and underwear down together. you kicked them aside and shivered as another wind blew.
sitting over topper again, you knelt up onto your knees to pull his shorts down. you couldn’t help swallowing at the sight of him. as dark as it was, you could still see him pretty well. your hand wrapped around him, solid and warm in your palm. topper groaned and leaned back on his hands.
“where’s the condom?” you asked as you stroked him, not at all in a rush with your hand around him.
topper registered your question and patted around the blanket for a moment before holding a square packet between his fingers. you took it from him and bit down on an edge, ripping it open with your free hand. you took the rubber between your fingers and spat the packaging somewhere. topper’s breathing became swallow all the while you stroked him. you stopped and rolled the condom onto him then leaned forward for a kiss.
topper reciprocated, his hands grabbing ahold of your hips until he pulled away to look up at you.
“what if you get sand in your vagina?” he asked, an innocent tone wrapping around his voice.
you couldn’t help the smile or the way your eyebrows furrowed all the while wanting to laugh. that’s what he’s thinking about?
“nothing that hasn’t happened before. it usually takes a couple of days to get rid of but i’ll be fine.”
the topic didn’t stop there. “does it hurt?”
“no, i’ll be fine,” a small laugh slipped out. “that’s why we have a blanket. and i’m on top. can we stop talking about sand getting in my vagina now? it’s kind of killing the mood.”
“sorry,” he shook his head, an embarrassed expression taking form.
you snorted, laughter bubbling up your throat. how did that question even come about in his head? you supposed it was nice of him to care about such a thing. you hoped your laughter didn’t make him feel more embarrassed.
his expression morphed into an amused one and he joined in, laughing at his odd question. you both shook with laughter for a few moments until you calmed down. topper squeezed his fingers on your hips, dragging his palms down your thighs. you brought your lips back to his and your hands to his chest. pushing him gently, you went with him as he lay down. you stayed against him for a couple more seconds before sitting up over him and finding him in your hand again.
topper groaned and gripped your thighs as you brought him into your heat. you couldn’t find your breath as you took him all the way in and sat over him, feeling completely and utterly filled. he was in your stomach, under your skin, everywhere.
“fuck, yes,” you panted, branding your palms on his stomach, pushing his sweatshirt and shirt up again. he was flushed from head to toe, something you were slowly building up to be.
you started off rocking back and forth slowly, feeling him pull and glide inside of you. when you dragged your clit against his skin, which was getting hotter and hotter with the friction, you couldn’t help the way your body tightened around him.
“y/n. oh, fuck—you gotta bounce for me,” topper choked out underneath you, moving his hands to your waist to grip tightly.
you nodded without words, not really finding any with your tongue tied. your hands pushed against his stomach as you lifted yourself up, letting almost all of him leave you empty. then you slammed down, moaning as loud as you could. you didn’t care. not one bit. you were still aware of the bonfire happening yards away, but you didn’t care if someone from the party was walking this way and heard you. let them hear how good topper felt inside you.
a quicker pace was set, sweat building in the creases of your knees and under your hands planted against topper. you loved this. all you could think about was how good it felt, how you fucked topper hard and fast—and how you were getting to fuck him again. it was so much better than the first time, even though you loved having him behind you then. this was just as good.
topper was sitting up again, your sweater rubbing against his and your body feeling way too hot. his hands gripped your ass tightly, helping you rock your hips over him. you were close, closer every time your clit brushed against him at this angle.
it became too much very quickly. you held on to him by his hair at the back of his head, gripping so tightly your knuckles were probably white, and reached your other hand down to touch yourself. your moans were growing higher and more frequent and topper was full-blown panting in your face. when you reached your end, a strangled sound came out of you. you stilled over topper, pulling more of his hair as you came over him.
not long after when you were moving again over him, your mouth on his neck and arms around his shoulders, his grip tightened on your ass as he came. you hummed and gave a few pecks just before he let go and fell onto his back. you followed, moving off of him and laying on your side.
“how long are you here?” topper asked minutes later, his breathing leveling out.
“i leave sunday morning,” you said, blinking tired eyes open as a wind blew over you.
“can i see you again?”
you smiled, your eyes shifting to topper beside you. “don’t you mean can you fuck me again?”
his lips spread wide and if his eyes were open, you had a feeling he’d be rolling them. laughing, you pushed yourself onto your elbow and touched his cheek.
“liza is having a party tomorrow. you should come,” you said quietly, leaning down to brush your lips over his.
“okay.”
“that was easy.”
“it doesn’t take much to convince me,” his voice was tired, piquing your interest.
“am i that good?”
all you got in return was a low laugh.
“i’m taking that as a ‘hell yes’ so thank you very much.”
topper let out a noise just before he moved, pushing you onto your back. his lips landed over yours, gentle and thorough.
saturday
it was a blur of drinks and games and dancing at liza’s house. every room was filled and it was hot for a few hours until you stationed yourself out on the deck with topper. you could lie and say that you didn’t sit out there just to make out with him, but that’s exactly what you did. it was perfect—even more perfect when his shitty friends didn’t show up with him. if you hadn’t been so distracted by his mouth, you would’ve thanked him then and there.
hours later, you had met topper at the front door. you informed liza of your new plans and she was more than happy to get you out of her hair, especially when her eyes latched on to someone and she started to drool into her drink. you grinned fiendishly at her and quickly went on your way.
topper was unlocking his front door and your legs were still a little tingly from the drinks you had over the past few hours. your hand absentmindedly ran along his forearm, needing to feel him so you could stay grounded and alert.
“if you don’t open this door, i’m going to fall asleep right on this porch.”
topper laughed, his keys jingling in his hand. it was a few more seconds of him trying without a light until he eventually found the keyhole and the door swung open. there was a rug that the bottom of the door brushed over and topper walked ahead of you, leading you in by the arm you refused to let go of. he was warm and solid. if you let go, you might evaporate.
your eyes adjusted with the lack of light in the entryway as topper closed the door behind you, sliding the lock into place. your skin felt like it was humming, the hairs on your arm standing up as you stayed close to topper. his shoes scuffed as he kicked them off, his keys dropping onto a table near the door while his other hand wrapped around your wrist. he lured you in by heat alone and you leaned in. your lips landed on his shirt, but you moved them until you found warm skin past the neckline.
reaching down, you found the strap of your sandals and worked to get them undone. why you wore sandals was completely lost on you as you struggled. topper grabbed ahold of you so you wouldn’t fall while your lips pressed a few more kisses into his neck. his hands were searing against your shirt and your skin pricked with the need to have them everywhere.
you kicked off your shoes, feeling your bare foot brush other pairs as topper grabbed ahold of your neck. you didn’t know where he was leading you until his lips landed against your cheek. he adjusted to where he meant to land and opened your lips with his own, coaxing your tongue with his. you moaned as if you were melting, your hands moving along his back as your body relaxed into his. another noise slipped from you, your hands moving down to his hips. one of them you let venture further until you felt him straining against his jeans.
topper gasped, his breath fanning over your mouth and down your neck. you grinned as you squeezed him just so you could see how he’d react.
it was cut short by light flooding the room and burning behind your eyelids. you flinched, parting from topper and squinting.
you were doing so well with no interruptions.
“topper? oh—i’m sorry,” a voice came from your left and you held your eyes open long enough to see a woman standing there, her hand falling from the light switch.
you suddenly remembered where you were holding topper and you dropped your hand, a hot blush crawling up onto your cheeks. you shuffled away from topper faster than he did at composing himself. was it wishful thinking to hope this woman didn’t see where your hand was placed a second ago?
“mom,” topper breathed, hiding his lack of breath well. your own heart was beating so loudly in your ears you figured the woman could hear it too in the entryway.
you averted your eyes, embarrassment dousing you from head to toe at the fact that you’d been caught by topper’s mother.
“we’ll be in my room,” topper said. his hand engulfed yours and you couldn’t remember how to use your feet or legs. “night.”
you kept your head down as topper tugged you past his mother, her robe flowing with the movement. he guided you through the unlit house until you came to his room.
“christ,” he sighed and dropped your hand to close the door. “i’m sorry about that.”
“it’s inevitable when you live with parents,” you shrugged and laughed, looking over your shoulder as topper rubbed his hands down his face. when he dropped them, he shook his head with an amused smile.
you turned back to his room and glanced around, the light a little brighter from the open windows. the decorations were the same, but for the most part it didn’t look all that lived in. you moved to his bed and sat at the end of it, running your hands along the comforter and remembering the last time you were here.
your eyes found topper’s like a magnet. your skin pricked with that awareness of him. reaching, you pulled your shirt off and let it fall beside you. topper watched, his eyes following every movement you made, his gaze moving over you like liquid.
you held your hand out towards him, coaxing him over where you sat. he approached until he was in front of you and even then, you pulled him closer with your hands on his hips again. your eyes fluttered shut as he came between your legs and touched your face, bending down to plant kisses on your forehead, cheeks, and nose. your thighs tightened around him, your hand dropping back to its original spot before you were interrupted. topper kissed you on the mouth then, his tongue hot and invading.
you pushed your palm into him a few times and rubbed until his breath was heavy in your mouth. even though you were kissing him and delighting in the ways he could use his tongue, your mouth felt dry for him. a moment later, your fingers glided up to the button of his jeans, working determinedly to unfasten them.
when his shirt was off and his jeans were unbuttoned, you nudged him backward, slipping from the bed and onto your knees. you pressed your lips along his stomach, feeling it tighten under your mouth as his hands brushed your hair back.
“tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” you said quietly, looking up at him as your fingers fisted the waistband of his jeans, slipping into his boxers too.
topper heaved a breath and nodded. you pressed another kiss just beside his belly button as you tugged on his bottoms, pulling them past his hips and leaving them to rest just above his knees.
you didn’t waste any more time. you took him into your mouth within the first few seconds of him smacking his stomach. he moaned with your lips around him and held your face as you licked him thoroughly. you couldn’t stop once you started and it took everything in you not to give him that release as his hand tightened on your face and his hips began to move.
he didn’t protest or get upset when you pulled away, licking your lips and standing. he just kissed you deeply and you wondered if he liked the taste of himself in your mouth. you certainly did.
all of your blood was gathered at your center. your skin was bubbling to a boil and topper helped you cool down, shedding the rest of the clothes between you. your hands wandered all over him as you sat back on the bed, pulling him with you.
you separated for only a second to kiss just under his ear, panting, “i want you inside me. now. i have an IUD.”
topper’s hands paused, his fingertips brushing the underside of your breast. “no condom?” he asked, pulling away further to meet your eyes.
you nodded, biting your lip to keep from putting him inside you now. “as long as you’re okay with it?”
“are you sure?” his eyebrows furrowed and you couldn’t tell if he was worried about you or if he really didn’t want to.
you nodded again as you were having trouble finding words without your breath. “have you been tested lately?”
“before i came home. i’m clean,” he said, his hands moving again and squeezing your thighs.
you grinned as your stomach rolled. you pulled him back to you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and smiling against his lips. “me too,” you managed to say and laughed as the excitement poured over.
topper’s skin suddenly felt too hot, but you couldn’t pull your hands away from him if you tried. more blood rushed in between your legs. topper kissed you a few times before pulling away and leaning forward, his hand moving to your lower back to hold you upright while his other landed on the comforter to hold himself up. you drew your legs up around him and tugged him closer, breathing heavily as you anticipated his next move.
he swallowed thickly and averted his eyes down, his hand leaving your skin to grab ahold of himself. you bit your lip as you watched, seeing him swollen and ready and practically dripping. your stomach rolled into a tight ball as his hips grew closer and you bit your lips shut as a noise of surprise left you, floating around the room, when topper dragged his head along your folds painstakingly slow.
as much as you wanted to close your eyes to completely let your senses take over, you lifted them to topper’s face. he closed his eyes as he poked his head at your entrance. when he started to slip inside slowly, his mouth opened and his hand went back to hold you. you held your breath as you felt him inch after inch, filling you and stretching you.
his head fell to your shoulder once he was completely inside, a muffled curse leaving his lips.
“oh my god,” you said at the same time as he said, “god, you feel amazing.”
his hips retracted slowly, just as slow as how he entered, and his lips guided back to yours.
“c-can you move back a little?” he asked. the angle was probably straining him unlike you.
you nodded and didn’t have to do all that much as his hand kept you close to him, keeping himself inside of you, as you moved further onto the bed. you laid on your back and moaned as topper started to move, pinning your hips below his.
“you need to be quiet,” he said.
“why?”
“because my mom is right down the hall.”
“so? she obviously knows what we’re doing.”
“still.”
“oh, topper,” you moaned a little louder, a smile curling the corners of your lips.
topper’s hand landed over your mouth. you laughed into his palm and opened up to bite on his finger.
“you should move that hand a little lower,” you suggested, rolling your hips into his.
topper laughed breathily and a moment later, moved his hand to your neck. his hips drew back then and he thrusted, harder than before.
“oh, fuck,” you panted, tightening your hold on him.
“you like that?” he asked, his fingers flexing on your throat.
“mhm,” you managed, your face screwing up. “just like that.”
you sucked in a gasp, your breath staying in your lungs as topper did it again. you couldn’t look at him, couldn’t do anything but feel everything he was doing to you from your throat to him between your thighs. your back arched, pushing your breasts into his chest. you cried out the next time he thrust, hitting you so deeply, your nipples peeked to hardened points. fuck.
“don’t stop,” you couldn’t stop gasping. “please, don’t stop. it feels so good.”
tears pricked your eyes as he did it again, picking up a rhythm and sticking to it. his hand let go of your throat and gathered your hands into his, pinning them above your head as he fucked into you. the harder he went, the more your nails dug into the backs of his hands. his fingers tightened over yours and you cried out with your hips smacking. he didn’t cover your mouth this time, suddenly not caring if his mom heard you. you didn’t care either, you wanted this to go on all night. hopefully it would.
tears spilled when he didn’t let up his grip or his pace. they fell more as he drove into you quicker. it hurt so good, you couldn’t breathe. you didn’t dare open your eyes to see if he was enjoying it too. you hoped he was, you hoped he was loving pinning your hands down, driving into you like an animal. you didn’t know topper had this in him.
his hand let go of one of yours but you left it where it was as his thumb flicked your clit. your breaths grew higher within seconds and you tightened around him, your free hand flying to his arm where your nails dug in deep. you couldn’t stop the cry bubbling in your chest even if you wanted to. it was going to come out whether you liked it or not and topper wasn’t doing anything to muffle it.
“fuck—i’m going to come,” he sighed, his voice strained. was he losing it too? “come for me, please, baby. come with me.”
“top—” your muscles spasmed and everything exploded. you cried out his name however many times as you came over him, feeling him do the same as he thrusted and emptied inside you. his spurts were heavy and warm as his face buried into your neck, his mouth slick one moment then his teeth latching on to you. you grabbed the back of his head and pulled at his hair as he bit you, not hard enough to break the skin, but it still hurt so good.
“oh my god,” you panted as topper lay limp on you. you could feel both of your orgasms dissipating as your juices mixed and dripped out of you.
having let go of your neck, topper licked over the pulsing spot and lifted his head up to look down at you.
“are you okay?” he asked, sweat collected along his hairline. his thumb brushed your drying tears away.
“that was—i—topper,” you shook your head, wishing you could find the words. “i feel very good right now.”
he laughed, shaking your body with his and making you moan as you felt him rub inside of you. “i’m glad,” he said, kissing the underside of your jaw. “i think we need water and snacks so i’m going to go get some.”
“mmm. that’s a good idea.” you couldn’t bring yourself to wipe his sweat away just to feel it on your fingertips. you were spent.
he smiled and pecked your numb lips before sliding out of you and getting up.
cleaned up and under the covers, topper laid out an array of snacks and water bottles. you sat propped up against his pillows while he lay on his side, his head propped against his hand.
“will you come back next summer?” he asked, popping a piece of fruit into his mouth.
you reached for the cereal bowl of chocolate and stopped the smile from stretching across your face. “maybe.”
“i was looking for an answer more along the lines of yes.”
“you’ll have to be more persuasive then,” you hummed and chewed.
“i can be persuasive.” he was grinning and you couldn’t help thinking that he never looked better. tired, hair messy, dressed in just boxers, completely sated.
“oh yeah?” you raised a brow at him.
“mhmm,” he nodded, putting the fruit down and moving onto his hands and knees to crawl towards you. he grabbed ahold of the comforter and pulled it back a little, revealing your chest to the cool air. his head lowered to press a single kiss to the swell of your breast. then he moved to the other. he pressed a final kiss to your shoulder.
“how’s that?”
you shrugged the shoulder he just kissed and kept the smile off your face. mostly.
topper grinned again and it reached his eyes. he looked over you, down your chest, then slid his hand under the blanket to your thigh. “am i getting closer?”
you gasped and grabbed onto the back of his neck as his fingers ran up the inside of your thigh. heat swirled between your legs. “definitely.”
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marvelous-imagines · 4 years
Note
Imagine Johnny that the reader is Johnny's girlfriend and is a typical Nerd who loves to read comic books and is addicted to games and her friends end up making fun of her
considering I'm a huge nerd YES AND DONE LOVE!
Johnny Lawrence x reader
Warnings: mild language. Slight angst. Fluff!
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You couldn't help the wide excited smile that bloomed on your face, pure joy engulfing you warmly as you looked into the full length mirror, taking in your new shirt. The bold lettering that read captain America along with the majestic figure himself in his signature stance with the American flag blowing around behind him as he held his glorious shield. The shirt was art, beautiful and truly a masterpiece... And it's yours, thanks to your boyfriend.
"johnny I love it!" you exclaimed happily, turning back to look at the blond, his grin wide as he watched you while leaned against the wall of your bedroom.
"I thought you would, when I saw it through the store window I knew it was something you'd want" he shrugs cooly, "although you're lucky no one saw me in the nerdy store full of losers" he jokes while pushing off the wall and walking over to you, placing his hands on your waist.
"now johnny... Are you calling me a loser?" you ask him, eye's locking on his baby blues.
"not you, you're my beautiful little nerd" he leans down so his face is closer to yours. You smirk and quickly peck him on the lips before pulling away from him and looking back at the shirt.
"thanks for the shirt Johnny, I love it!" you say ecstatic. Johnny let's out a chuckle and swiftly wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.
"I think I deserve a kiss for my good deeds" he spoke while nuzzling his face into your neck. His breath tickling the skin there which causes you to giggle.
"if I gave you a kiss Lawrence you would definitely turn it into a 14 minute make out session and I have 3 minutes to arrive at Tiffany's house before I'm late" you placed your hands over his that was resting on your hips. He groans as he looks at you through the mirror.
"do you have to go to Tiffany's?" he questioned with a pout, and when he gave you the puppy eye's you almost wanted to bail out on your plans so you could stay with your boyfriend.
"yes, I promised I'd help her do birthday planning for her younger sister, then after we've planned shopping" you say reluctantly pulling away from Johnny's warm strong arms. He whines and nods in understanding.
"okay, I'll call you tonight babe" he said while walking to your bedroom door, "love ya y/n" he was his last words before he left. You smile fondly at where he once stood before grabbing your shoes and heading out the door as well.
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You giggled loudly at your two friends Rebecca and Tiffany, while you all was seated on Tiffany's sofa while planning her younger sisters upcoming birthday party. You three had been laughing and joking around, talking more about boys then planning the actual party.
"last weekend me and Tommy went on our third date" Rebecca said with a smile. Tiffany let's a teasing grin spread across her face as she focuses her attention on the red head seated in between you both.
"oh, what happened on this date?" Tiffany wiggled her eyebrows in suggestive manner. You roll your eyes at your friend and smack her shoulder playfully.
"like I'd ever tell you anything tattle tale" Rebecca snorts, picking up the notebook full of ideas for the birthday and jotting something down before tossing it back on the table.
"oh c'mon, isn't Tommy apart of that badass karate thingy? He's a total badass!"
"my boyfriend knows karate too Tiffany" you decide to join the conversation with a little smile, just the thought of Johnny making your heart skip a beat.
Tiffany scoffs, shaking her head. "y/n sweetie we're talking about actual guys, not some comic book guys you have a crush" you lift a brow at her harsh tone. Of course your friends wasn't fond of comics as much as you was. They often teased you for liking comics, calling you childish and nerdy. But they was still your friends and you suffered through the constant teasing and insults.
"she's actually dating Johnny Lawrence, that cute blond boy you drool over at school" Rebecca spoke up as you just simply grabbed the notebook and jot down some ideas for Tiffany.
That seemed to make her choke on air nearly as she had wide eye's. "he's dating her?! The nerdy, quite little -
"what's so bad about being nerdy?" you cut her off angrily as you tossed the notebook aside and crossed your arms. Starting to feel offended by her this time.
"it's lame, all the comic books, the stupid dolls you collect - even that stupid shirt! It's childish y/n. You need to grow up" Tiffany spat out harshly, leaving you feeling a wave of hurt weigh down on you. What if she was right?
"it's not childish -
You tried to explain but she cuts you off with a laugh, "and all you do is play stupid video games, you spend more time in comic stores and arcades then hanging out with actual people" she laughed, Rebecca stifling a laugh beside you which has you feeling even worse. You thought they was your friends...they didn't understand just how amazing comics was, they was a escape, a slice of peace from chaos every once in a while. And video games was fun, a nice way to relax after a long day.
"you guys just don't get it... The two things are awesome" you grumbled quietly.
"awesome? You're a nerd y/n, I don't even see why Johnny would date you" her and Rebecca laughed loudly as you feel tears start to build up in your eye's. You stand up and storm out of the door, your tears you tried holding back escaping.
It was nearly 15 minutes later when you arrived home, laying on your bed and taking in what your friends said. Why would Johnny date you? You was a nerd, you loved superheroes and video games. Your friends was right... You was childish, you sat up and take your captain america shirt off and slip on a plain t-shirt and lay back down. Johnny was a total badass and deserved someone better then you, someone who he was most likely ashamed of being seen with.
As you laid in your bubble of self loathing a knock on your bedroom door disturbs you. "go away!" you said loudly while you swing a arm over your eye's while you laid on your back.
"geez you sound so happy to see me" the familier sound of your boyfriend said, "it's Johnny, i left my wallet in you're room I think, I can't find anywhere else..." he spoke from the other side of the door.
You sigh and stay in your position, "come in" the sound of the door opening then closing was the only thing heard, soon followed by Johnny's voice once more.
"why aren't you wearing the shirt I got you?" he asks while picking it up off the floor and sitting on the edge of your bed, "what's wrong?" you slowly move your arm off your eyes and look at him. He instantly saw the sadness swimming in your eye's.
"do you think I'm childish?" you ask him quietly, slowly sitting up in bed and looking at him. He gives you a confused look before shaking his head.
"no, why would I?" he says while playing with the shirt in his hands, his eyes roaming your face trying to understand what's wrong.
"because I'm a nerd... I'm a loser Johnny, I don't even know why you're dating someone like me" you said with growing irritation at yourself. Johnny placed the shirt on the bed at gives you a stern look.
"I'm with you because I love y/n. I love everything about you, I love you for you" johnny said while scooting closer to you and placing his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look at him, his eyes holding nothing but truth, "what even made you think like this?" he murmured. You let out a deep breath while leaning into his touch.
"Tiffany and Rebecca" you muttered while looking away from his gorgeous blue eyes. He sighs and scoops you up in his arms and placing you in his lap, you was surprised by the abrupt movement but soon melt into his loving arms that was wrapped around your waist.
"if they were guys and kick their ass's for making you even think for a moment that you're a loser" he said causing you to giggle a little. But he continues with a serious look, "you're not a loser, you're cool and I love that you like video games and comics... It shows that you have a fun a personality and not a boring one like Tiffany and Rebecca's" he placed a kiss on your nose, you giggle at him and lay your head on his shoulder.
"I love you Johnny, you're the absolute best" you muttered while closing your eyes and basking in his loving embrace.
"I love you too y/n, every little detail" he muttered back, running his hand up and down your back. You truly did love Johnny, no one in the world could make you as happy as him, even when you felt down....
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A/n: it's short as usual and shity, even I know that bruh😭 but here it is, I wrote it while suffering through a party (I have really bad anxiety and hate crowds so I write while standing in a corner to prevent panic attacks)
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natromanxoff · 3 years
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Mercury Roadrunner's Interview about Freddie Mercury with Peter Freestone – Part II
Thanks very much to Mercury Roadrunner (Pavel Strashnyy) for letting me share his amazing interviews! Originally shared here.
Check the tag "MR interview with Phoebe" to see the other parts. Here are the 3 main topics of this interview, beginning of each topic is written in bold:
1. Language skills
2. Music videos, Garden Lodge
3. Celebrity friends, leg damage story, Joe Fanelli, relationship between band members, Freddie's last days
PS: So here is our second part and the first topic is about Freddie’s language skills:
Did he actually know only the English language or did he also know the Gujarati language or any other languages?
PF: When his parents were in Garden Lodge or if he called his mother on the telephone, he only spoke English. I suppose, he must have understood Gujarati, because, okay, in the school he was taught English, but before the school, when he was in Zanzibar and he would have been with is parents, so I would have thought they would have been speaking in Gujarati.
He had about twenty words of German after living in Munich for so many years. He couldn’t speak German, but I think he understood the language, if he was paying attention, because most of the people around him were talking English, so he never really had the need to learn German. Although, saying that, one of his partners, Winnie, was German and did not speak a lot of English, but then he had Barbara to do the translating.
PS: The second topic is about a very special song “Mad The Swine”, which was recorded in 1972, but was released only in 1991 as a B side of “Headlong” single. Why, after so many years, Freddie decided to come back to it and release it?
PF: Freddie knew that “Innuendo” was going to be his last complete album and I think that this song had a special place in his heart, there were something about it, and as far as he was concerned, it never got an airing he felt it deserved and the rest of the band was happy to put it on.
PS: I mentioned the “Headlong” song and you can be seen in some archival footage of making of the “Headlong” video, you help to lay the Queen members on the shelves. What are your memories about that day?
PF: I was just there to help them. When they are making a video, they don’t need someone to take care of costumes, because there is a costume person, there is a makeup person, everybody is there to do something. And so I was there for Freddie, looking after him, and it just seemed natural to help out. And the band would feel more comfortable if that was someone that they know who would help to put them on the shelves rather than some technician turning up and trying to do it. And this moment with selves wasn’t’ planned. That wasn’t in the storyboard, it’s just that they saw it, there were four shelves so they just thought “Well, why not? Let’s do something crazy”. And the idea must have come from the band member, because Rudi would have seen all the possibilities when he was checking out where they were going to be doing the filming, and if he had thought of using the shelves, that would be one of the ideas put in the beginning.
PS: There are also some parts where we can see you in “The Great Pretender Extended Version” video - can you remember anything about it?
PF: It was just a big long laugh. There is not one part of the making of the actual scenes that they are not laughing and smiling. Roger, Peter and Freddie – they just clicked, it all worked. Nobody had to be bigger than the next one, nobody had to take the spotlight, and they just were there, having a good time.
PS: What is your personal favourite memory from that day?
PF: Personally, for me it is watching the recording of the six girls –you know, both of the backing group were girls, they were wearing two different outfits – and watching the recordings, when they were recording the one group of three and then the other group of three, the costumes they got in to and what they did – you couldn’t help but feel really-really happy. They were actually standing on the same platform when they were recorded. And then, of course, they used computer graphics to put two different groups on the screen at the same time. Just watching three of them there on the platform, waving their hands goodbye, it brings back the memories of those groups of backing singers in the sixties.
PS: What are your memories of making of the “Breakthru” video?
PF: I remember that it was probably the hottest night of the year, no sleep, because it was just so hot and humid. They had a huge problem with the opening scene, and they shot that last in fact. But they had a huge problem because when the engine went into the tunnel it caused air pressure so that that polystyrene wall burst out a long time before the engine arrived. So they tried it earlier on and that’s when they found that that’s what happened, and then they had to do playing around with it during the day, there was people doing that while the rest of the filming was going on, and then they had to sort of re-do it and it was the last shot. And the engine was actually already in the tunnel before it started getting up a bit of speed. And it wasn’t going as fast as people think it does, so that it looked right. It was a fun day. Only the band and the actual film crew were allowed on the flatbed, where the band were performing, because of the way it was being filmed, you could easily be in shot, so the less people that were there – the better. John was having a ball, I remember him laughing a lot, he was enjoying himself. And there was a normal carriage, like a dining car, but old, 1930-1940s, and that was where we would have food and drink. And it was wonderful. It’s a working old train line, it’s a tourist thing, but it’s great, it’s really-really nice and it’s not that far away from London. And Freddie was enjoying the shooting. I was surprised when I saw what he was doing on that flatbed, he was leaning over the edge as the train was going along, but again, it looks faster than it was. It really was only going at about 25-30 kilometers an hour. But it’s made to look as though they are speeding along.
PS: And what was the very first Queen video you were presented on?
PF: The very first video that I was involved with was “Save Me”, because it was shot during two shows of the “Crazy Tour”, I think it was at “The Rainbow” and it was shot at “Alexandra Palace”. Because it was the mix of the live action, the cartoon girl, the bird – and that was the hardest thing – to get Freddie to almost catch the bird, the pigeon. They had to re-film it for about 15 times. And it was where David Mallet, the director, fell of the stage into the orchestra pit. Everybody panicked for a few minutes, but then he stuck his head up “Oh, I’m alright”. It was about 2-3 meters he felled. And then followed all the post-production with the girl, with the cartoon, and how they blended the live pigeon to become the cartoon one and all that sort of work – all of it was done afterwards and it was done before Christmas 1979.
PS: And what was the very last Queen video you were presented on?
PF: “I’m Going Slightly Mad” video. I remember the penguin on the couch moment. Actually most of all I remember the way Diana was with Freddie, because she just took such a good care of him, she had special thermal underwear made for Freddie, because right from my meeting with Freddie in 1979 I remember the easiest thing for Freddie was to feel cold. And it only got worse the more sick he got. And she had special thermal underwear made for him that went underneath the shirt and the suit. She just was there for him all the time and it was just wonderful to see.
PS: And did Freddie usually have cold hands or he had normal temperature of hands?
PF: He could have normal warm hands, but often they would be cold. So maybe he could have a blood circulation problem.
PS: Can you remember something about the shooting of “I Want It All” video?
PF: I don’t think I was at that one, because that would have been Joe, Joe Fanelli would have been there, because we sort of took in turns – he would go to one, I would not, I’ll do all the stuff at home, then I would go to one and he would stay at home.
PS: And it was also the same for you take the turns in concerts?
PF: No, I was on tours with Freddie from 1979 till 1985 and then Joe took over from the last part of 1985 and 1986.
PS: And why you stopped going on tours and Joe took that part?
PF: Because Garden Lodge had been completed and to keep the insurance cover someone had to be living there, so I got to live there. I moved in six months before Freddie did. And Freddie moved in in the middle-end 1985. Because what we did was – Freddie was at Mary’s home and Terry and I took Oscar and Tiffany away from Stafford Terrace. Because Freddie was supposed to move in and he kept putting it off again and again, he said “I’ll do it tomorrow”, “I’ll do it at the weekend”, there was always a reason, an excuse, so what Terry and I did – we went and kidnapped Oscar and Tiffany and took them to Garden Lodge. And then, when Freddie went home and he was looking for the cats, Terry said: “No, they are not here, they are at your other home” – and Freddie moved within two days.
PS: And what was it like living with Freddie in Garden Lodge? What are your first memories of start of living there?
PF: At that point I was living above the kitchen. Joe and I had rooms that were above the kitchen, just up those stairs. And it just felt strange just to be living in that house. The thing is, I’ve been living with Freddie for years, because whenever we were in hotels it was always a two bedroom suit, so I knew how he was, what he would do, what he needed in the morning, how the moods could change, that was all standard, that was all normal. The difference was being in the luxury of Garden Lodge, knowing that it was a house, not the hotel, and the fact that he had made us promise, both Joe and myself, that we would treat this place as our home. It wasn’t just work and somewhere to stay because of work – it was our home.
Some houses have energy, they have a feeling, and while Freddie was in Garden Lodge it was a really warm, friendly house.
PS: And the atmosphere in the house changed almost at the moment Freddie passed away, right?
PF: Literally. For me, while he was still alive, even in those last minutes, it was still the same house, but literally within minutes, while we were waiting for the doctor, it just became bricks and mortar, it just became somewhere to sleep, somewhere to live.
PS: You mentioned living together with Freddie in hotels, but do you remember living with Freddie in some flats or houses before Garden Lodge?
PF: We were living in his apartment in New York. The way it was set up there were two bedrooms, sitting room, dining room, kitchen, a maid’s room and a sort of TV room.
And later we lived together for six months in Los Angeles. Recording “The Works”. They rented the big house for Freddie. A nice house, big-big house. It belonged to a doctor, who just constantly rented it out to stars, who needed somewhere to stay while they were filming. Elizabeth Taylor apparently stayed there, George Hamilton was there, lots of different film stars used it. It was a big house in nice big gardens, it had a swimming pool, had a tennis court, you know, it all the things you need.
PS: And it was actually two of you living there together?
PF: Yeah, Freddie and me. And Terry was there too, to drive.
PS: And speaking of Freddie’s New York Times, can you actually remember what was his the most favourite part of the city?
PF: Most evenings he would end up down on Christopher street, which is down near Greenwich Village. Because there were bars around there, clubs around there, restaurants around there, everything was there in that area, in the West Village.
PS: Our next topic is about Freddie Mercury and George Michael; we can see them together at “Barcelona” album launch party and Queen 20th anniversary party – do you remember the interaction between them?
PF: They actually met up at Live Aid, after it finished. We had to stay in the bar, because there were absolutely no way any cars were going to get out of the stadium area, because of the traffic and everything. And that was the very first time that they actually met. Freddie admired him, he thought George had a great talent both in writing and in singing, but there was no special friendship, because Freddie didn’t create big friendships with other musicians. He preferred, so to say, normal people. And also he enjoyed actors and actresses, their company, more than other musicians, because the way he felt, most musicians just wanted to talk about music and he had many more interests. So, yes, if Freddie and George were in the same place, then yes, they would meet up and they would chat about what was going on in their lives, but most of it was always about work. Their conversations would always be like “what was the tour like” and they would laugh, because they would make jokes about what they had been doing. Freddie could make a joke out of any situation. He didn’t tell anecdotes as such, but he could see something and he could make a joke out of it.
PS: As you mentioned Freddie having friends among actors and actresses, could you remember some of them?
PF: Anita Dobson, Debby Bishop, Carol Wood, Pam Ferris, Susannah York. One he would like to have met and she lived literally just across the road, but it never came, was Diana Rigg. And he was incredibly happy when I gave him an autograph from Honor Blackman. I met her and I said “Could I have an autograph, please”, she says “yes, of course, who’s it for?” and I said “it’s just for my friend, Freddie”. And he was overjoyed with it and he kept it in his bedside drawer.
PS: And who was his favourite actors?
PF: Franco Nero, James Mason, Laurence Olivier. And he got to meet him, so that was another of Freddie’s absolute joys. Dave Clark took Freddie to dinner at Laurence Olivier’s house. It was when they were working on “The Time” musical.
PS: And it was actually very last Freddie’s live performance, can you remember something special about it?
PF: Yes, April 1988. I just thought how amazing it sounded. We all heard “In my defence” before, but when he did “it’s in every one of us” as a duet with Cliff that was absolutely amazing. We had goose bumps. And then after the performance we went to Cliff Richard’s dressing room, sitting and talking there.
PS: And you said that Freddie didn’t have many friends amongst musicians, but could you remember something special about Freddie and Elton John’s friendship?
PF: They first met back in 74/75, when Queen were managed by John Reid and in those days both of them were constantly touring so they could rarely meet up. But every now and then Queen would have just done the show and Elton would be performing the next day, so he was already in the hotel and we would meet up and go round, sitting in Elton’s room talking. And then for about a couple of years after Freddie’s diagnosis they didn’t see each other, but then Freddie told Elton about his status and for the last year and a half Elton would regularly come to Garden Lodge. And in Freddie’s last two weeks Elton would ring us, say what time he would arrive, so that he wouldn’t be seen arriving, he wouldn’t come through the front door, and we would let him in through the Mews in his mini, so nobody knew he was there. He had to go to Paris to record, so he gave me all of the numbers: hotel number, the studio number, his mobile number, his assistance’s mobile number, all the numbers, just to let him know when it happen, because he knew it was going to happen. And at the very last time he came to Garden Lodge, he drove in one of his Bentleys and parked it right outside the front door and the press were running over to him asking “why are you here?” and Elton just turned around and said “I’ve come to see my friend”. And that was it, he just came in and they sat and talked. And when Elton came, it was really just Freddie and him in the room, just talking.
PS: And what was the story about Freddie getting his leg damaged in Munich?
PF: Freddie, when he had a few drinks, he would pick people up, just lift them off the floor, to show how strong he was. So Freddie had picked someone up and then someone next to him bumped into his knee and the ligaments tore, because instead of the way it was supposed to bend the knee bend the other way. Freddie then dropped the person he was carrying, he was screaming in pain and we had to go and get it set. When Queen filmed “It’s A Hard Life” in the end of the video, you can see him favouring the leg.
PS: And as you mention “It’s A Hard Life” video, Freddie’s friend Barbara Valentin stars in this video and she was a star in films of Rainer Werner Fassbinder – did Freddie ever discuss his films with her?
PF: Yeah, because she had videos of them. Freddie did meet Fassbinder once. They were in the “Deutsche Eiche”, which was Fassbinder’s favourite restaurant, he was always in it in Munich. And Barbara would take Freddie there every now and then. So Barbara introduced them to each other, they talked a bit, but they were there for lunch, it wasn’t a planned meeting or anything like this.
PS: And what film directors Freddie admired?
PF: Vincente Minnelli, George Cukor, the directors of the 40’s-50’s.
PS: What are your memories of Joe Fanelli?
PF: He was American. The first time I met him his relationship with Freddie was just finishing, this was in 1979. But he stayed in London and worked a lot in London. He was working in different restaurants. He was an amazing chef. And they kept in touch over the years and that’s why when Garden Lodge was finished and someone had to be there, that’s when Freddie thought to bring Joe back. And it worked, because Joe used to go to the gym all the time and he was taking care of himself, which he didn’t do so much when he was with Freddie. He was great. He was amazing on the computer. Computers were just starting, but Joe could write programs and things. Freddie’s favourite programme on television was “Countdown”, which is where they pick out seven letters and you have to make the longest word you possibly can out of those seven letters and then there’s also the numbers thing as well – and Joe created that on the computer for Freddie so that he didn’t wait for it just on the TV. He was fun, and he was good; it was good working with him and most of the time we just got on so well. Garden Lodge would not have been the same without him.
PS: And you mentioned Joe programming “Countdown” for Freddie so Freddie could actually play this game on computer?
PF: Well, no, he couldn’t, but he could sit there and Joe would do the computer. The computer was bought by Freddie for Garden Lodge and it was set upstairs on the musician’s gallery in the big sitting room.
PS: How would you describe the relationship between Freddie and other Queen members?
PF: They were all close to each other, but in a different ways.
Freddie was close with John. John was the new boy, he was the last one to join, he was the youngest, and Freddie just felt protective. He wanted to protect him a little bit for the dangers of rock’n’roll. But then John got married, had Veronica, so he had the security of home, and John was not around Freddie as much, but it didn’t stop the friendship because of what happened at the end. John just decided to finish because Freddie wasn’t there anymore.
With Roger it was a different friendship. And a very good friendship, because both of them had similar personality trait, they both enjoyed a good drink; they both enjoyed a good party.
And with Brian, of course, they were friends, but Brian was much more serious and Freddie was much more of a laughing person than Brian. Brian thought about things so much. But Freddie knew that he would never find anyone better than Brian to help him with the music.
PS: We know that Brian and Roger visited Freddie in his last days, but we never heard of John visiting Freddie.
PF: I don’t think John was prepared to see Freddie looking like he did in the last days, but John came and visited Freddie before those last two weeks. I know that he did come to the house, but I don’t think he could accept seeing Freddie the way he was in those last weeks.
PS: Freddie started to get a lot worse in those last two weeks?
PF: For the last two weeks Freddie hardly ate, he hardly drank. He was taking no drugs that were keeping him alive anymore, he was taking painkillers, and that was it.
PS: What was the reason of Freddie’s last visit to Montreux?
PF: He just wanted to get away from London. He wanted to have a little bit of peace and quiet away from all the press. He had that apartment in Montreux, so he went there.
For the last two-three years of his life he would be there every other month for a couple of weeks. There was no feeling of “this is the last time I’m going to Montreux”, that wasn’t part of his mentality, he only decided that this was the last visit when I called him, because I wasn’t with him, Jim, Joe and Terry were with him at that time, I was in Garden Lodge and I rang him and I said: “Look, just so that you are aware when you come home, that there are press outside the house 24 hours a day. In the nighttime it’s down to about four or five and in the daytime it’s up to about twenty”.
And that’s when he decided that when he went into Garden Lodge, coming back from Switzerland, it would be the last time, because he knew that he would never be able to get out again.
PS: And how long was he there for the last time?
PF: For about two weeks.
PS: And how do you remember him when he came back?
PF: He was sort of happy, but he was a bit withdrawn, because he had made the decision that when he came into Garden Lodge, it would be the last time, that he would never leave it again. He already had decided that, so, of course, he was a little bit more thoughtful, more inward thinking rather than being laughing and all that. But still, even in those two last two weeks there were still times when he would laugh, because he never wanted sad people around him.
PS: What are your last memories of Freddie?
PF: Since he got back from Switzerland on the 10th, he basically stopped eating and drinking. He would have a little bit, but that’s it. So, of course, he was tired, he had no energy. Most of the time he had short sleeps, short sleep –wake up, short sleep – wake up.
In those last two weeks, except for his needs, the only other time Freddie left his room, was when Terry carried him downstairs, on the Wednesday, 20th of November, because he just wanted to look around the main room, he just wanted to have a last look at paintings, at the crystal. He just wanted to spend some more time in that huge room where he felt most comfortable.
The last week of Freddie’s life he was actually never alone, because between Joe, Jim and myself, we would spend twelve hours with him and there was always one of us with him. We did the shifts from eight in the evening till eight in the morning. The last time that I was with him was on the Friday night. And on that Friday night I got there just before eight o’clock. And, you have to remember, that at eight o’clock the statement was released to the world that Freddie had AIDS. The thing is, those hours I was with him, he was the most relaxed I had seen him in years, because there was no secret anymore, the whole world knew. And he would just talk about anything, he would be in bed, I would be sitting on the bed next to him and I would be just holding his hand. The television was on, just for some noise, he would talk and he would go to sleep and talk and go to sleep. And we talked about silly little things, nothing really serious, and nothing like “we knew everything was coming to an end”, there was none of that. He could still talk fine, his mind was together, he just was very-very tired.
But, I think, because the statement had been done, I think Freddie felt that it was time for him to go. Because it was coming up for eight o’clock and I think it was Joe coming in at that point, Joe was coming at eight, and I said to Freddie something like “Look, okay, I’m going now, Joe is going to be here, but, of course, I’ll see you, I’ll see you soon”, he said something like “uhum, yeah, yeah”.
And then he just took my hand, looked me straight in the eye and just said “Thank you”.
And I will never know, whether he already decided that we would never meet again and was thanking me for the last twelve years, or if he was just thanking me for the last twelve hours.
But I have a feeling that he already knew that we would not see each other again.
PS: Do you remember when you for the very first time understood that you are not just working with Freddie, but you are becoming friends?
PF: That really started from the very-very beginning, because we didn’t have to always talk to each other to know what he wanted. I understood him. Because of our similar upbringing in boarding school in India I knew why he reacted in some ways, why he did things, I knew it, it was just instinctive and it made everything very-very easy for him and for me. Maybe it became more intense when Freddie started the time out of Britain, because we were going to be together 24 hours a day, so you have to be friends. And for me, it was the easiest thing on earth to be friends with Freddie. I never thought about Freddie, The Superstar. I was thinking about Freddie, my friend.
SPECIAL THANKS TO VALUREX FOR CONTRIBUTION AND ASSISTENCE
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dottielovegood · 3 years
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ASMR - chapter 3
Elriel fanfiction
About this fic:
Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)
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You can find chapter 1 here and chapter 2 here Read this fic on AO3
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Chapter 3
Luckily for Azriel, the next day was a Saturday, which meant that he didn’t have to go to work. The only plan he had that day was his gym appointment at 7.00 in the morning, just like every other day. Cassian and Rhys often gave him shit for going to the gym that early in the morning on weekends, but they had partners to enjoy the days with. Azriel did not, which meant that working out was a good way to pass time. Especially for someone like Azriel who didn’t sleep and seemed to have more hours to his days than most regular people did.
However, today he woke up to the sun shining in through his window. He picked up his phone to check the time and was surprised to see that it said 9.23. He never slept that late. And he never slept that well.
She made me miss my gym appointment, Azriel thought to himself and couldn’t help but smile. And then it hit him. It was 9.23. That meant that Flower Girl ASMR would call him in exactly 37 minutes, and he hadn’t even had coffee yet. Azriel quickly got out of bed and hurried to the kitchen. While the coffee was brewing he jumped into the shower. He didn’t know why, but it felt wrong to be on the phone with her without having a shower first. Just like it would feel wrong to show up to a date without showering.
This is not a date, he told himself as he tied the towel around his hips and walked back into his kitchen. Azriel lived in a studio apartment, which meant that his ‘kitchen’ was actually a corner of his living room/bedroom. It was quite big for a studio apartment and he could easily fit his bed, a big sectional, and a dining room table in the room. There were exposed bricks on one wall which gave it a rustic feeling, and the white sleek details everywhere else made it feel modern and minimalistic - just like Azriel preferred.
Azriel leaned against his counter and sipped his coffee. He glanced at the clock on the wall which told him that he had 15 minutes left before the phone call. His hands were sweating. Was it because the coffee was so warm? Azriel tried to tell himself that the coffee was the reason for his warm hands, but it was more difficult to find an explanation for the butterflies in his stomach.
He was nervous. Not because of what they were going to talk about - he could probably guide someone through this in his sleep. But because she made him nervous. It’s one thing to see someone in a video and talk via DMs and an entirely different thing to facetime that person. What if she thought that he was ugly?
As the thought entered his mind, he shook his head as if trying to shake the thought away. Why did he care? He was just helping her with a problem. It didn’t matter if she found him ugly because this was a one-time thing. He would never see her again.
The butterflies turned into a tight knot in his stomach.
Azriel let out a low groan and went to his wardrobe to get dressed. He put on a black T-shirt and black jeans - his standard uniform. He dried his hair hastily with the towel before throwing it in the hamper.
At 10.00 on the dot, Azriel’s phone started ringing on the kitchen island. Or vibrating actually, since he always kept the sound off.
Unknown number is calling
Azriel stared at his phone, suddenly feeling very shy and questioning everything he knew about computers. He checked his reflection in the microwave and let out a deep breath before answering.
“Hello, this is Azriel.” His voice was hoarse, sounding deeper than usual.
“Oh, hi!” A cheery voice said and he was a bit taken aback. In his stupid brain, he had imagined her answering in her whispering voice. “Is this… is this Shadowsinger?”
Azriel decided that her normal voice was just as wonderful as her whispering voice.
“Yeah, this is Shadowsinger. Or well, that’s not my name. I’m obviously not called that. That would be weird…” Azriel babbled, growing more and more self-conscious by the second. He took a deep breath. “I’m Azriel.”
“Hi, Azriel. I’m Elain.” He could hear the smile in her voice and it made him think of sunshine and flowers.
Elain. The name suited her. It was a welsh name that meant fawn. Or at least that’s what Feyre told him one night when she had spent three hours going over possible baby names with their entire friend group (After three hours, Azriel, Cassian, Mor and Nesta had been very drunk and started suggesting weird names from TV such as Khaleesi, Anakin and Buffy which led to Rhys kicking them out.) But Elain wasn’t a weird name. It was pretty. Just like the person that the name belonged to.
“Hello, Elain,” Azriel said quickly when he realized that he had been quiet for a short while.
“Azriel is… an interesting name.” He couldn’t tell from her tone if it was good interesting or bad interesting.
He chuckled. “Yeah, try growing up with the nickname ‘Ass’ in school. Not Az. Ass.”
He could hear Elain laugh and it warmed his heart. “Oh no,” she giggled.
There was a stretch of silence then, both of them unsure of how to begin this.
“So...” Elain started after a few moments. “How do I block words on Youtube, Azriel?”
As soon as the words traveled through the phone, he wanted to ask her to say his name again, but that would be weird. So instead he cleared his throat and got himself into work mode.
“Well, I didn’t know if you were a visual learner, but I created a Youtube account yesterday so I could show you what to do, and you could just follow along if you like?”
God, was he doing too much? Would she find this creepy? Maybe he should just tell her what to do without video.
But to his surprise, Elain did not sound creeped out. “Really? That would be so helpful! How...How can I see your screen though?”
Azriel huffed a laugh. It was kind of cute that she was so oblivious when it came to technology even though she had 250k followers on Youtube.”Well, we’ll change to FaceTime and I will be able to flip the screen and just show you what I’m doing. Is that okay with you?”
He was met with silence.
“Elain?”
“Oh, sorry. I was nodding,” she laughed. “Yes, that’s fine.”
Azriel clicked the icon for FaceTime on his screen and within seconds, her face filled his screen. Her brown hair was in a high ponytail and she wore a mint green hoodie. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and Azriel had to catch his breath. God, why did she have to be so beautiful? He realized that he was staring at her through the screen but his brain wouldn’t form words.
“Hi,” Elain smiled, her cheeks turning pink. “I kind of forgot that we would see each other and not just a screen. Sorry that I look like a mess. I’m going to the gym after this...” She gestured to her hair and Azriel had no idea what mess she was referring to.
“What? You look wonderful,” he said and as soon as the words registered in his brain he wished to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. He winced. “I mean... I just–” he was making it worse. Lovely. “I just meant that you don’t look like a mess.”
She gave him the sweetest smile. “Well, You don’t look too bad yourself.” She was blushing even more now. Was he blushing too? He had never blushed in his life, so he didn’t even know what that would feel like, but he did feel a bit hot.
Azriel cleared his throat. “So,” he started. “I’m going to flip my screen and film my laptop now. Tell me if you can see what I’m doing.”
“Okay!”
Azriel logged into Youtube and held his phone in front of the screen. “Can you see?” He held the phone in front of his computer, and even though she couldn’t see him anymore, he could still see her.
“Just a second,” she said and held up a finger. She was moving and so was her camera. When she reappeared, Azriel was very happy that she couldn’t see him. She was wearing glasses and they made her, if possible, even more attractive. Her beautiful golden eyes looked even bigger. Like a fawn, Azriel thought to himself.
“Yes, I can see when you have the phone so close to the screen,” she answered.
“Okay, good. Are you near your own computer?”
“Yes! And I’m already logged into my Youtube account.”
Azriel nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Great. Then you should see your profile picture here in the corner.” He showed her where to look.
“Mhm, I see it.”
She was focusing so hard on the screen, she had probably forgotten that he could see her. She was leaning in close enough for Azriel to see her freckles.
I want to kiss every single freckle on her body.
The thought entered his brain before he could even react and he was very happy that she wasn’t a mind reader. He tried to ignore her face on his screen and focus on his task.
“You will click the photo, and that should display a menu,” he explained. “Like this. You are going to click ‘Youtube Studio’ here.”
Elain scrunched up her nose in concentration and Azriel thought that he might die from the cuteness.
“Done! What next?”
“Okay, then you click ‘Settings’ at the bottom here,” he showed her where to look. “And then you choose ‘Community’”
“Community?” She asked and bit her lip.
Azriel wanted to bite that lip too.
“Yeah,” he answered, happy that he didn’t have to come up with more advanced words.
“And then you scroll down to ‘blocked words’ here,” he instructed. “Are you there?”
“Yes, I found it,” she answered with a smile.
“Well, aren’t you a gold star student?” Azriel joked and Elain’s face went from smiling to blushing in a nano-second.
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
There was a beat of silence again. Azriel wanted to kick himself.
“What now?” Elain asked in a low voice, still determined to get this over with.
“Well, now you just fill in the words you want to block. Make sure that you separate each word or phrase with a comma. And then you just press save and that’s it.”
“Oh, okay. That was easier than I imagined.”
Silence again.
“Can you manage from here?”
Elain bit her lip again. She was staring somewhere behind her phone; probably at her computer. “Ehm, I’m not sure what words to block.”
Azriel thought back to the awful comments he had seen and could think of a handful of words.
“Well, just block the words that these commenters often use, and maybe block bad words in general? You can review your comments later, so if nice comments are being filtered, you can choose to restore them while deleting the bad ones.”
Elain nodded and Azriel didn’t know if he should hang up or stay. So he stayed. His camera was still facing his computer, and Elain was still filming herself. She looked lost in thought.
“Are you okay, Elain?” Azriel asked cautiously, afraid to startle her.
“Hmm?” She looked straight at the camera now, eyes still glossy.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just… tired. I really like doing ASMR, but this sucks. I just want to make people happy and spread positivity, you know? And still, I have to deal with this.”
“Yeah, that must suck.”
Azriel had a question that he had been burning to ask, but he didn’t know if it was too personal. However, as he told himself before, they were never going to see each other again. He could always ask, and the worst thing he could get was a ‘no, I don’t want to talk about it’.
So he asked.
“Elain, can I ask you something?”
She nodded absentmindedly.
“Yesterday you wrote that you had blocked those trolls multiple times. Are you certain that they’re the same people?”
She nodded again. “Yes. In the beginning, they were a bit more creative with the usernames which threw me for a loop. But I realized that it was the same IP addresses every single time, so yeah. I know. I mean, I get hate from complete strangers too, but these people are a bit more persistent .” The last word was spoken through her teeth. She looked upset, but she also looked like she wanted to hide it. Azriel decided to switch his camera back to his face so she wouldn’t feel as vulnerable. And so he wouldn’t feel like a creep for staring at her.
Elain looked a bit startled. “Oh, hi again,” she smiled, but it wasn’t as genuine anymore.
“Do you know these people?” Azriel asked through gritted teeth. He didn’t know why, but he felt very protective all of a sudden.
“Yes, I do. At least the three people that commented yesterday…” she bit her lip again, probably contemplating if she should tell him more. “It’s my ex.”
Azriel tried his hardest to not look surprised and pissed off at the same time. “All three of them?”
With a surprised look on her face, she shook her head quickly. “Oh, god no. No. Just one. His name is Graysen.”
MortalGraysen. Azriel remembered the username because it had sounded so stupid.
“And the other two?”
She let out a long breath. “His stupid best friends, Amarantha and Hybern. Stupid names, right?”
Azriel could only agree. “Very. Why is he bothering you like this, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Elain took off her glasses and massaged her temple lightly. “I dumped him after he slept with Amarantha and then…” she chewed the inside of her cheek. “Then he told all of our friends that he only slept with her because I was so boring in…'' her cheeks flushed again and she didn’t finish that sentence. She didn’t have to. Azriel understood perfectly.
“Okay, so he really is an asshole then.”
“The biggest.”
“Well, I don’t think you can block IP addresses on Youtube, but you could always try to block their names. It might work for a while at least?” Azriel suggested. He needed to help her.
“That’s smart!” she exclaimed and sat her phone down to type. He was very happy that she had leaned it against something so he could still see her.
“What other words should I add?”
Azriel thought back to the comments he had seen. Boobs, nudes, cock, jerk off and tits were all words that she should block, but they were also words he didn’t feel like saying in front of her.
“Just check their old comments and block the words they have used.”
“I’ve deleted the comments, but I remember a few words.” She typed again and Azriel could tell that she was uncomfortable.
“Hey, just block all sexual words and maybe swear words? That should probably work for a while?”
“Okay.” She typed again while Azriel waited patiently. Honestly, he would probably wait forever if it meant that he could watch her on his screen like this.
He felt like a teenager with a crush on the coolest girl in school. He knew that she was out of his league, but his body had not gotten the memo…
“I think I’m done,” she announced and smiled at her phone. At him.
Azriel smiled back. “Which words did you write?” he asked out of curiosity.
Elain picked up her phone and switched the camera so he could see her computer. In the box for ‘blocked words’ she had indeed written a few words.
Blocked words Graysen, Hybern, Amarantha, Boring, Dumb, Stupid, Weird, Ugly, Penis, Vagina, Sex, Sexy, Breasts, Feet, Ejaculation, Nipple, Damn, Fuck, Darn it, Hell,
“Do you think that’s enough?” She asked him in a low voice as if she was ashamed of what she was showing him.
Azriel had to bite his lip in order to keep himself from grinning. It was kind of sweet that she had written down the more technical terms, and not any words that would actually be used on the internet.
“Well, I think it’s a good start,” Azriel answered. “But I think there are a few more words that you should add. And maybe some you can remove from the list.”
“Which ones can I remove?” She leaned closer to her computer, probably trying to find the redundant words.
“I don’t think that trolls will use Darn it, for example.”
Elain pressed the backspace key a few times.
“And which words should I add?” she asked the screen. Her glasses had slid down her nose a bit and Azriel had an urge to reach through the screen and push them back into place.
Azriel scratched his chin, thinking about the best way to phrase it. “Maybe a few synonyms for the words you have written down?”
“Such as?”
Azriel held his breath. “Well…” Azriel hesitated. Was she serious or was she just trying to get him to say dirty words? “I don’t think that internet trolls will use the word vagina.”
“Oh,” her ears turned a lovely pink color. “So I should just add synonyms for that word then?”
“Sure.”
Elain looked lost in thought for a moment before typing again, this time a bit more aggressively. “There are quite a lot,” she muttered.
“Really?” Azriel could only think of two; pussy and cunt.
“Yes. I googled it.”
Of course, she googled a list of synonyms for vagina. Azriel couldn’t hold back his grin this time. She gave him a look he couldn’t decipher. “What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing,” he said, still grinning. “Can you read me this list of synonyms?” he teased, thinking that she would tell him to fuck off.
He was wrong.
“Well, there’s pussy, cunt, vajayjay, punani, ho-ha, flower…” she drifted off and Azriel could tell the exact moment it hit her that she was reading these words to a man she didn’t know. “Oh, god,” she groaned and hid her face in her hand. “Please ignore everything that just happened.”
Azriel chuckled. “I rather not. What’s the weirdest word on the list?”
He was invested now.
Elain looked at him through the screen again, but this time he could tell that she was suppressing a smile. “The weirdest one must be fish taco, or bald man in a boat. One just sounds disgusting, and the other one is just… weird? Like, I don’t get it.”
“I think that the ‘bald man’ is supposed to be the...uh,” Azriel could not finish that sentence. He knew that he was blushing now, too.
“Oh,” she said looking surprised, and then disgusted. “Oh, that just makes it worse.”
The laugh that followed was contagious.
As she laughed, Azriel thought back to the day before. To when he had watched her video to fall asleep. In her videos, she was so calm and collected - the complete opposite from this bubbly, laughing person on his screen. Both sides of her were equally fascinating to Azriel and he wished that he could get to know her better. She was so easy to talk to. Azriel never found anyone easy to talk to. At parties, you could find him in the corner with a drink and a good book. He was not a talkative man. But with Elain, he wanted to talk. And he wanted to listen. He wanted her to tell him about her day and her life, which was absurd. They had been talking for like 30 minutes. They didn’t know each other. They would never get to know each other.
“Thank you for helping me with this, Azriel,” Elain said when the laughter had died down. “I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for being a bit weird and reading you that list. I hope that I didn’t cross a line or…”
Azriel held up a hand to show her that he didn’t mind. “It’s no problem, honestly. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much.”
Elain shifted in her seat and picked up her phone again, moving it closer to her face again. “Just like you couldn’t remember the last time you had slept well?”
For a second, Azriel was truly afraid that she was a mind reader because that meant that she had heard him think that he wanted to kiss all her freckles. And then, he remembered the comment he had left on her video a few days earlier.
“Yeah, just like that.”
She leaned her head to the side and regarded him through the phone. “Is that true? You can’t remember having a good night’s sleep?”
Azriel shook his head. “I have suffered from insomnia since I was a child. Sleep has never been a positive experience for me.”
He had never opened up like this to anyone. His former girlfriend never understood why he was awake and why he hated sleepovers. The insomnia had definitely destroyed a few relationships over the years. He could tell that Elain wanted to ask about it, but she didn’t. He really appreciated that.
“Well, I’m happy that I can help you with that anyway. It makes me feel less horrible for making you help me with this on a Saturday morning,” she said and gestured to her computer.
“You didn’t make me do anything. I offered. I was happy to help.”
She gave him the sweetest smile yet and Azriel was surprised when he didn’t melt into a puddle. “Well, thank you. Can I pay you for your trouble?”
Before she had even finished the sentence Azriel shook his head. “No, Elain. I really don’t want you to pay me.”
“Okay,” she bit one side of her lip again. Those damn lips. “Can I give you something else then?”
Did her tone sound flirty? Azriel didn’t know. He might just be hopeful because he started imagining all kinds of things she could give him.
“Like, maybe you could tell me your favorite trigger and I’ll make sure that my next video includes it?”
Azriel swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling very thick. “You don’t have to do that, I...”
“But I want to,” she interrupted. “What’s your favorite trigger?”
Azriel was trying to figure out a way to tell her that she was his favorite trigger without sounding like a serial killer. “Well, I don’t really know. I like when you whisper,” he tried, and when she smiled and nodded encouragingly, he continued. “Honestly Elain, I have tried to watch other ASMR videos but they don’t make me fall asleep. Your videos make me fall asleep within minutes. Whatever magic you put into your videos, that’s probably my trigger,” he half-joked.
“Hmm,” Elain regarded him. “I’ll figure something out.” She winked at him teasingly and Azriel hated that this was the first and last time he would ever get to talk to her.
“Well, I really have to go,” Elain declared. “I’m meeting a friend at the gym.”
“Yeah, I have to go too,” Azriel lied. He would have canceled any plan he ever had if he could continue this conversation.
“Well, thank you again for your help, Azriel.”
“Don’t mention it.”
She removed her glasses and looked straight into her camera. It felt as if she was staring into his soul.
“Goodbye, Shadowsinger.”
“Goodbye, Flower Girl.”
The call disconnected and he was left staring at his apps. Not a single one interested him.
With a heavy sigh, Azriel walked to his bed. He was planning to lay down and scream into a pillow when he received a text from a number he didn’t recognize.
New message I searched for a few more synonyms, and this one for penis is horrendous. Just listen to this: Meat banjo. Isn’t that just horrible? I’m definitely blocking that word.
Azriel couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. It really was a horrendous synonym and he could imagine her sitting in front of her computer, making disgusted faces at the various words on her screen.
New message Oh, this is Elain, by the way.
And that’s when it hit him.
She had texted him and he could see her number. That meant that he could save her number on his phone. It also meant…
Well, he honestly didn’t know what it meant, but he didn’t feel like screaming into his pillow anymore.
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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?
I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.
TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface
Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.
And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie
What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?
Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”
So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?
The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it
ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN
Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ
The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel
Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-
Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.
Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died
I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?
Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional
Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?
“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?
Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)
20 minutes in and I wanted to give up
So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??
The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?
AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR
“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you
So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar
I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes
“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED
“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT
The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired
“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY
STOP THE FACES IM-
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^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^
So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-
It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all
Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?
For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again
Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?
Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?
So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one
WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME
The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain
Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY
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I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought
“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do
Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!
“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?
“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf
Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park
“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t
So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️
“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT
EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT
“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT
The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film
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This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.
Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)
This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot
WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-
I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...
I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.
LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there
The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not
I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.
Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess
So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up
YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH
The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-
I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious
“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT
“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-
ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU
There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful
Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.
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Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?
And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???
She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there
So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???
Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!
She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender
The less said about the musical number here the better
Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!
ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING
Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number
The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.
Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨
I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything
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“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?
There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES
Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???
Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number
Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.
Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.
The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?
Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”
Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES
“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY
“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT
Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever
This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*
Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end
I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level
She got a service dog puppy which... okay?
Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!
I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing
AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻
Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.
We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.
As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.
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wherethewordsare · 3 years
Text
Birds of a Feather
For @notsafeformurphy who was having a day of it the other day and we got to talking and.... oops this happened. This honestly started out as a nature docu au and ended up a coffee shop au? Idk man.... Anyway, Shay I hope you enjoy this! 
Also tagging @herostag since it was requested. and @jaskierswolf cause I think they’re gonna start yelling at me if i keep forgetting. Going to try to get my tag list back together if anyone is interested. <3 <3 <3 Hope yall enjoy Jaskier huffed as he flopped over again, his body refusing to just relax down into his mattress and let him sleep. It had been a stressful day and to make matters worse, it had been the third night in a row where he was simply unable to sleep. 
Giving up, he reached for his phone, scrolling through youtube for a moment, looking for something that he could just zone out to for a little while. Usually he would put on music or white noise but even that didn’t seem like it would be helpful. He had to find something extremely dull and maybe a bit pretty. 
He scrolled past a thumbnail of three large men in park uniforms. Two of them looked like they were at least somewhat interested in being there while one tall man with near white hair simply scowled at the camera. 
Wild Wednesdays with the Rivia Nature Reserve the title read. 
“Okay, I’ll bite,” Jaskier huffed as he rolled onto his stomach. He pulled the kickstand of his phone case out and set it up before pressing play and curling his arms around his pillow. 
“This week, we’ll be talking to Geralt Rivia, our resident raptor specialist about what goes into rehabilitation efforts when it comes to conservation,” someone said off camera, cheerily. When the camera panned to Geralt Rivia however, he did not seem to share the narrator’s same upbeat tone. 
For a few minutes, the narrator off camera seemed to try to ask Geralt about himself, only getting stilted answers and that same scowl that had been in the thumbnail. Jaskier snorted with a smirk. 
“You’re not having any of this, are you? You’re gorgeous though,” he chuckled. He felt his back relax as he yawned, snuggling closer into his pillow. 
And then it happened. From off camera, someone handed Geralt a leather glove that he put on easily before taking a cord. He clicked a bit and the scowl he had moments ago melted into a fond smile. 
“And who is this?” the narrator asked. They clearly had picked up on the shift in Geralt’s demeanor as a small falcon took up perch on his forearm. 
He actually cooed at the bird for a moment before holding it up for the camera. “This is Roach. She’s one of our recent rescues.” He smiled, a barely there tilt of his lips and his honey colored eyes softened. Jaskier got the impression on anyone else, it would have been a full grin. 
“Oh, I like that look,” Jaskier murmured, feeling his cheeks heat up. 
“And what is Roach?” the person asked off camera. 
Geralt took a step back, turning his arm slightly, causing the bird to flap agitatedly at him as she kept her balance. “Yes, I know, but I have to show off how pretty you are,” he said to the bird, fond and warm. 
“Oh no,” Jaskier whispered into his pillow. “He’s soft and hot.” 
“Roach here is a red-tailed hawk. They’re pretty common through North America,” he explained, pointing out the red-brown of her tail. The hawk nipped at him as he got her to open her wings for the camera and he only chuckled. “She’s about six, the same age as my daughter actually. And,” he leaned in conspiratorially, “I’ll be honest with you, I’m not sure which one is less well behaved.” 
Roach must have understood a bit of that because she gave a cry before nipping at Geralt’s hair, clearly annoyed. 
“Listen, if you weren’t so hornery, I wouldn’t say it,” he said to Roach, pulling another scowl but there was clearly no heat in it. 
This was not the same man from the thumbnail or the same man that barely gave answers about himself at the beginning of the clip. When that bird sat on his arm, he lit up and Jaskier was weak. 
Geralt answered a few other questions about hawks and about the reserves program for rehabbing hawks, his voice deep and gravely. He would have sounded gruff if not for how much he clearly loved what he did. 
Geralt looked at Roach a little sadly. “Unfortunately for our little lady here, she won’t be able to return to the wild. Due to her injuries when she came to us, she won’t be able to hunt on her own,” he gave her a soft smile before he petted down her neck gently. 
Jaskier’s eyes were starting to feel heavy. He had turned into the pillow, letting Geralt’s voice wash over him with simple facts about red-tail hawks as he drifted off to sleep. It hadn’t been dull at all but there was something about the way Geralt spoke that just melted him into his mattress. 
When he woke, his phone was dead, probably from being set to autoplay. As it charged, he looked at the videos that had played while he was asleep, most of them from the Rivia Nature Reserve. There were a few specials with other team members but Jaskier picked out the ones that mentioned Geralt Rivia directly. 
It had become a near routine and soon, Jaskier found that he just slept better after watching those nature clips. Sometimes, Geralt wasn’t even on camera, simply walking through the process of population counting for the reserve as the camera panned around to different birds up in the trees. There were other videos featuring Roach the red-tailed hawk as well and it was clear that she was a favorite, not only of Geralt’s but the viewers as well. 
Within three weeks, Jaskier had made his way through nearly the whole catalog of the reserve’s videos. He knew he would move on from tall, silver and brooding and find his next sleep fix but for now he simply enjoyed it. 
~
He should have said no, he should have mentioned that he simply did not do morning shifts, and there was a reason for that, but Essi had been persistent, almost feral about him taking her shift. 
“Please, Jask. I promise, you won’t regret it!” She grinned at him and there was something in her eyes that sent up a dozen red flags. 
“What are you plotting?” He asked flatly, squinting at her over his glass of wine. 
“Not a thing, darling, just trust me on this,” she giggled, sipping her own wine neatly. 
~
It hadn’t been a terrible morning, though Jaskier was barely managing to stay upright by the the coffee grinder. He was used to staying up long nights and it hadn’t changed anything when he knew he would have to open. 
His phone buzzed in his pocket. 
I know you mentioned he had a kid, but he’s single. You’re gonna want to put a blueberry muffin in right now. 
He blinked at his phone, squinting as he tried to decode just what the fuck Essi was saying. 
What?
But he put in the blueberry muffin, his phone on the counter as he watched the three little dots dance where Essi was texting back. 
You still owe me a no questions.
“What the fuck is she even-” Jaskier heard the bell above the door just as he set the timer for the oven. 
“-and so I tell him that if he isn’t going to at least make an attempt to clear out the back trails, we’re going to find a new contractor.” Came a voice behind him. 
Jaskier froze, his hand on his phone. He nearly threw it in a panic. He recognized that voice. He’d recognize that voice in the dark, though to be fair, he usually listened to it in the dark. 
He glanced over his shoulder and sure enough, Geralt Rivia was standing at his counter with two others from the nature reserve. 
“Be with you in just a minute!” he tried for cheery and landed firmly in panicked. He ducked behind the large coffee machine and shot a text back to Essi. 
I haven’t decided on whether or not I love you more than anything or if I’m ever going to
speak to you again!
Have fun! ;)
That bitch. It had been a setup! He adored her, the meddling little sneak. He schooled his face the best he could, knowing full well that his ears were still the color of the strawberry frap they served. 
“Morning, what can I get you guys?” He asked as he wet his lips, trying not to stare right into Geralt’s gorgeous face. 
“Three coffees, a blueberry muffin warmed up and a plain bagel, untoasted,” Geralt said offhandedly as he looked around. “No Essi today?” 
“Uh, no. I’m filing in this morning. Jaskier, at your service.” As he dipped his head in a mock bow he internally cursed himself. One day, one normal day, that was all he asked for. “Hope the bagel isn’t for Roach. I’m not sure she’d like it. How is she? We haven’t seen her much recently?” He shot off without thinking as he started to pour the coffees. He froze again as his brain caught up with his mouth. 
Behind Geralt, both of the men snorted. “Looks like you’ve got a fan, pretty boy,” the darker haired one jostled Geralt’s shoulder with a smirk.
Geralt only stood there, tilting his head slightly as though he wasn’t sure what had just happened. 
“Ah, I mean…” Jaskier fumbled, nearly spilling one of the coffees down his own front. 
“She’s doing fine actually,” there was a soft smile on his face, the same he wore when he got to handle the birds directly and Jaskier could feel himself melt on the spot. “Naughty as ever. Learned a new trick to take a swipe at Lambert here if he’s holding the feed bucket,” there was a low rumble of a chuckle. 
The dark haired one behind Geralt stopped laughing abruptly. “She’s a menace.” He growled, picking up his own coffee from the counter. 
Behind Jaskier, the oven dinged. “Oh and your muffin!” He turned, letting himself have the moment his back was to them to silently scream. He had been tricked! He had been set up! He was going to try to get this man’s number and he would never hear the end of it. 
“You already had it in?” Geralt asked, that smile still in place. 
“What can I say, we make sure to take care of our favorite customers.” He was almost proud of himself at how smoothly that had come out as he turned to look back at Geralt. He should have been paying attention to the muffin as it dropped, missing the bag completely and splatting on the floor. 
“Fuck,” Jaskier nearly cried. “I am so sorry. Give me, just a moment, I’ll get another one in for you.” 
He watched as Geralt ducked his head, smirking. “Would you like to meet her?” He gave another tilt of his head, his eyes clearly looking Jaskier up and down. 
He was sure he had died. This wasn’t real. This was the good place. Or the bad place. Either way, this place was the place his soul had clearly left his body. He stood there, cold muffin in hand as he gaped at Geralt. 
“Uh-”
“You don’t,” Geralt cleared his throat, “I was just wondering since you seemed… to be a… fan.” His face slipped into a scowl and no. No that wouldn’t do at all. 
“I would love to, yeah. I’m off at three?” 
“Oh! Jaskier! Thank you for coming in to open. I can take it from here,” Essi slipped in beside him, taking the muffin from his hand. “Morning, Dr. Rivia,” she nearly sang, her face smug. 
“Dead. You’re very very dead when I see you again,” Jaskier whispered to her though he couldn’t stop grinning. 
“So you were saying?” Geralt asked, leaning against the counter. 
“Turns out, I’m free as a bird, you’d say.” Jaskier chuckled as he slipped his apron off and made his way around the counter. 
Geralt snorted and rolled his eyes but took his coffee and muffin from Essi. “You know that phrase ‘eat like a bird’ is really not that good of a way of saying that someone doesn’t eat much?” 
Behind them, Lambert scoffed. “Here we fucking go again. I said I was sorry for bringing it up!” 
Later that afternoon he found himself wearing a glove similar to the one he had first seen Geralt in, a small tawny owl bobbing on his arm as he looked on in wonder. He had met Roach and she had nipped at his hair and shirt, screeching when food wasn’t produced. 
“Hmm, let’s get Scorpion. He won’t tear you to shreds,” Geralt gave Roach a fond little tap on her wing with the back of his fingers. 
By the end of the day he left with a few knicks in his fingers and a phone number. He had never slept better.
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mikauzoran · 3 years
Text
Lady Noir/Ladrien: I’m Learning to Love (Walking Away from Things): Chapter Two
Many thanks to @shadownoble for the prompt for this chapter!
Read it on AO3: I’m Learning to Love (Walking Away from Things: Chapter Two: Starlight
Groaning in exhaustion, Adrien collapsed facedown onto his bed.
Yet again, his father had run him ragged with photoshoots on top of magazine interviews on top of variety show appearances. That wasn’t even counting the extracurriculars he still had to do and the significant workload of his university classes.
He was so wiped, he almost didn’t move to look at his phone when it pinged with an incoming text.
When he saw the sender, however, he was glad that he’d put forth the effort. It was Ladybug checking in on him.
“i remember you saying you had a busy day so i wanted to see how it went”
A second message quickly followed the first: “hang in there!”
His heart melted a little at her concern.
“Thanks for thinking of me, Buguinette. <3” he typed back. “Today”
He paused, briefly considering lying and telling her that it had gone fine. Ultimately, though, he decided on honesty.
“didn’t go very well. There were a lot of problems that put us behind schedule, and my father was in a bad mood. I’m surprised no one got akumatized, honestly.”
“are you okay?” she replied immediately.
He bit his lip.
“he didnt take it out on you did he?” she prompted, and he suspected that she already knew the answer.
Adrien winced, hedging, “I’m all right. Just tired. It was a long day.”
His father had, in fact, lashed out at Adrien, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. Ladybug was already on the warpath against his father, and he didn’t need to give her any more reasons to hold a grudge.
Several minutes passed with no response from Ladybug, so Adrien flopped back down on the bed and closed his eyes.
He was just starting to doze off when a knock on his window pulled him out of the dazed limbo between sleep and wakefulness.
Adrien sat up with a jolt and found Ladybug smiling and waving from the other side of the glass panes.
He fumbled for the remote on his nightstand and hurriedly pointed it at the windows.
“Good evening,” she greeted cheerily as she stepped down into his room. “It’s not too late for a visit, is it?”
“A visit from you?” he chuckled. “Never. For you, my window is always open.”
“Good to know,” she laughed, taking in his rumpled, worn state. “I actually came to make sure you were doing okay and see if you wanted to go stargazing with me, but you look pretty beat.”
Sheepishly, he admitted, “I might be a tiny bit dead on my feet, but I’d never pass up the opportunity to spend time with you, My Lady.”
She didn’t know if she was ever going to get used to hearing him say that with Adrien’s face. It was taking all of her available energy to keep it together around him because she knew that treating him differently would only make things worse and defeat the purpose of her knowing his identity in the first place.
Oblivious to his partner’s internal struggle, Adrien got to his feet and was just about to call on his transformation when he remembered and winced.
“…Except…I promised Plagg that if he were good today, he could relax and watch his Netflix shows and eat Camembert in his sock drawer the rest of the evening.”
Ladybug shrugged, unconcerned. “You don’t have to transform. Just put a jacket on so you don’t get cold, and I can carry you.”
Cheeks burning, Adrien did as bid, slipping on a jacket and then taking her proffered hand.
The feel of her suit on his bare skin was odd but not uncomfortable. He couldn’t compare it to any material he was familiar with.
Not for the first time, he wished that there didn’t have to be a barrier between them.
“At least we’re one step closer to that reality with her knowing my identity,” he tried to comfort himself.
Meanwhile, Ladybug was internally freaking out and glad she still had the thin veil of anonymity to hide behind.
Almost a week after learning her partner’s identity, she was still struggling to reconcile Chat Noir with Adrien, and the feelings she had for both of them were making things complicated.
With a smile carefully pasted in place, she scooped him up into her arms and set off over the rooftops.
She didn’t go far—only to the Eiffel Tower a few blocks from the Agreste Mansion.
“Do you know much about the stars?” he asked as they settled into their usual spots at the top of the monument, away from the prying eyes of the public.
“Not really,” she confessed, sheepishly pushing a lock of hair out of her face. “You?”
“A little.” He pointed up at the sky. “Even though it’s autumn now, you can still see the summer triangle. There’s Vega, Deneb, and Altair.”
She nodded as she made out three bright stars that seemed to form a triangle.
“Over there by the moon, you can see Jupiter and Saturn,” he added, motioning to what looked like two big, dazzling stars.
She frowned. “How can you tell them apart from regular stars?”
“Planets don’t twinkle,” he explained. “Since they’re closer and bigger, their light doesn’t get distorted by the Earth’s atmosphere as much as the stars that are farther away. So, while stars twinkle when dust particles pass between them and us, planets shine more steadily because the dust particles don’t obstruct as much of their light.”
It was the kind of thing that wasn’t out of place coming from Adrien, but Ladybug couldn’t imagine having the same conversation with Chat Noir.
She blinked at him in amazement. “You’re really smart, Chaton.”
“Me? Smart?” A short bark of laughter caught him by surprise, and he shook his head. “I’m just a nerd whose parents kept him locked up most of his childhood. I read a lot to fill the time, so I’ve got a ton of useless trivia floating around up here.”
He tapped the side of his head. “For example, did you know that cats purr to self-sooth? Or, how about that the first cat video was filmed in 1894?”
Now it was her turn to burst out laughing.
That was her dumb cat, all right.
“You are such a dork,” she chortled, shaking her head in disbelief.
He shrugged, looking back up at the sky with a grin.
It was a huge relief that things between them hadn’t changed all that much since she’d learned his identity. It made him think that maybe things would be okay.
Her laughter slowly faded, and she scooted in a little closer, joining him in gazing up at the stars.
They sat there for several minutes before she spoke again.
“…You know…” She swallowed, mentally steeling herself for the confession. “…there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Hm?” He tipped his head to the side, his curious gaze meeting her apprehensive one.
“I thought you should know that, about six years ago, I had this ridiculous crush on you—Adrien you,” she clarified.
His eyes flew as wide as galaxies. “You… What?”
“It wasn’t a celebrity crush or anything!” she rushed to assure, waving her arms wildly. “I…I sort of know you in real life, and I had a crush on you.”
His mouth opened and closed several times, and, after a handful of false starts, he managed to respond. “You said that you had a crush on me. Like…as in past tense.”
He drew in a slow breath, mentally preparing himself for the worst. “May I ask what I did that made your crush a past tense thing? Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh!” she gasped, waving her arms like an air traffic controller yet again. “No! Nothing like that. It wasn’t your fault. It was me.”
He winced. “So…‘it’s not you; it’s me’ is what you’re saying?”
She cringed, realizing what an insincere cop out that sounded like. “No. For real, Adrien. It was me. I needed to prioritize my duties as Ladybug, so I didn’t have time for dating, but…mostly…it was that I realized that I didn’t know you as well as I should for how obsessed with you I was.”
She averted her eyes as shame bubbled up hot and red on her cheeks. “It was unhealthy, and I decided that I needed to take a step back and focus on my friendship with you…so that’s what I did. I concentrated on being your friend.”
Tentatively, she looked back up at him. “I think you needed a friend more than anything at the time anyway. …Though, I’m not sure if I even did a good job being your friend. I mean, I completely missed how bad your home life is, how much you hate your hobbies, how little control you feel like you have…”
He shook his head, setting his hand on her shoulder. “Buguinette, no. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I don’t let people see that side of things. Not even Nino knows the whole truth. I’m sure you did your best to be a good friend to me.”
He bit his lip and hesitated. “…Though…I kind of wish you would have said something about your feelings for me.” He accompanied his words with a wink and a teasing Chat Noir grin.
She rolled her eyes and swatted his arm. “Flirt. You would have turned me down flat. You would have been nice about it, but you’d never have gone out with me.”
He grimaced when he realized that she was most likely right. “Probably. I may be stupid, but at least I’m loyal.”
“You’re not stupid,” she groaned. “Be nice to yourself, you dumb cat.”
He leaned in and rested his head against hers. “…Thank you. It means a lot to me that you care.”
“Of course I care,” she sighed. “You have no idea how much I care about you—both sides of you.”
She took a slow, steady breath. “…Plenty of other people care about you too, Adrien. That’s why I think you need to open up with your friends. Nino at least should know about how bad things are. He loves you, and he’d do anything he could to help.”
Adrien pulled away, straightening up and shaking his head. “I don’t want to be a burden on them.”
“They would never think of you that way,” she insisted vehemently.
“I don’t want them to worry when there’s nothing really they can do,” he amended.
“They can at least listen,” she argued. “They can text you cat memes and check in on you and let you vent. Isn’t that all you really want? People supporting you and validating your feelings and reminding you that you’re loved?”
He pursed his lips, silently considering for a long stretch. “…Yes, but…”
“Marinette told me what happened at the photoshoot today, what your father said to you.”
Adrien winced.
He’d known that Marinette was there at the shoot interning, but…
“Marinette heard that?”
Ladybug nodded.
Practically everyone on site had heard Gabriel railing at Adrien.
“He was wrong, you know.” She reached up and gingerly started massaging his scalp. “You’re not useless. He has no idea what he’s talking about.”
Adrien made a noncommittal noise as he closed his eyes and lowered his head to her shoulder.
“You’re amazing and wonderful and hardworking and kind and smart and brave…and the best partner ever,” she stressed with unwavering conviction. “Your father is blind if he can’t see how incredible you are.”
“Thank you, My Lady,” he whispered, voice brittle and trembling as he held in tears.
“…You should tell your friends,” she repeated, gently urging. “You should have support in your daily life, Adrien. I can’t always be there for you, but I want you to have that kind of support. You deserve it.”
“Maybe,” he mumbled into her shoulder. “It’s just…my friends all have really solid family relationships. I don’t think they’d even understand.”
“But they’d try,” she countered. “They’d want to try to understand. They love you.”
“It’s hard to tell people you respect that you’re not all right,” he sighed.
She kept pressing, desperate to get him more support. “They’re not going to think any less of you, Chaton. I don’t. …Maybe start with someone you know will be on your side. Maybe Nino? Or…or Marinette? She was awfully worried about you today. I’m sure she’d want to help.”
Adrien winced and pulled away, sitting up to meet Ladybug’s gaze. “Yeah, but I already told one girl I like that I’m a mess this week. I don’t think I’m emotionally prepared to tell the other one too.”
She stared at him, blinking slowly as her braincells tried to reconfigure what he had said into something that made sense.
“You… You like…?”
An adoring smile spread across his lips, and a soft blush lit up his face. He nodded, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck.
“Marinette,” he completed, voice full of affection when he said her name. “Yeah. I do. I have for a while now. She’s so sweet and thoughtful and fierce and courageous.”
He laughed. “I’m lucky she deigns to be my friend. Ladybug, she’s so out of my league.”
“I’m sorry. What?” she scoffed, not believing what she was hearing. “You—you who are not only Chat Noir but also Adrien Agreste—you think that Marinette Dupain-Cheng is out of your league?”
Earnestly, he nodded. “Ladybug, she’s amazing. She’s like you.”
She covered her face with her hands as her brain overloaded from how adorable he was.
“Marinette’s not out of your league,” Ladybug grumbled. “…and neither am I.”
His eyebrows slowly climbed up into his hairline.
“Shut up,” she replied preemptively.
A broad grin broke out on his face as he realized that maybe Ladybug’s feelings for Adrien weren’t entirely a past tense thing after all.
“Stop that,” she groaned.
“What? I’m not doing anything,” he chuckled, cuddling up beside her once more.
“You’re being smug,” she pouted, dropping her hands from her face and wrapping an arm around him.
“I would never,” he playfully protested.
A comfortable silence fell between them as they snuggled and gazed at the stars once more.
“…Maybe I should talk with my friends about what’s going on,” Adrien whispered after a long stretch. “It’s just really hard to be vulnerable like that.”
She gave him an encouraging squeeze. “We can practice, if you think that will help.”
He took a deep breath. “Hey, Nino? There’s something I want to talk with you about, if it’s okay.”
“Sure, Mec,” Ladybug responded, doing her best Nino impression. “What’s up, mon pote?”
“…My relationship with my father is in the rubbish bin, and I kind of hate my life,” Adrien groaned.
“Dude. That is it, Mec. I’m adopting you,” Ladybug as Nino decreed. “I’ll fight anyone who gets in my way. We’re gonna make this right.”
Adrien burst out laughing, leaning heavily on his partner. “I don’t know what I’m so afraid of. That’s probably exactly what he’s going to say.”
“So, you’ll tell him?” she pressed, mentally crossing her fingers.
Adrien blew out a long exhale. “Yeah. I’ll try to talk to my friends soon. You’re right. It’s more than I can deal with on my own, and I could seriously use my friends.”
“That’s what we’re here for,” Ladybug reminded, giving his hair a nuzzle.
31 notes · View notes
k0ra-kumori · 3 years
Text
Killer Frost, Caitlin Snow (DC Super Hero Girls 2019)
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#PolarDemons
It was an ordinary day at the Metropolis school, I was getting ready to go to class, and maybe my mind was still a little tormented by what happened to Casey Krinsky, I was thinking about it too much in the last few days, and I don't know why , maybe it was because every time I met her at school I felt a sense of guilt and wanted to apologize to her? No ... I already tried that, and it didn't work.
- Zee! Are you okay? You're already standing there for about 5 minutes! Let's be late, and mr.Chapin promise that if we were late again he would kick us out! (Babs)
- Sorry Babs, I'm coming after you.
I was startled when Barbara called me, but I needed to get out of that trance, maybe the class distracted me a little about Casey.
(Time Skip)
It was time to go, and studying only made my mind worse, I needed a break, Mr. Chapin was unbearable today.
"Where are my friends?" I thought, we usually all leave the class together, I went looking for them and while I was walking down the main hall I saw a crowd, and my friends were there too! I went to them as soon as possible.
- Girls! What are you doing? I looked for you everywhere.
- Hey, duh! We told you in the class that we were going to come here, but it looks like you were too distracted to pay attention to us. (Kara)
- i-I'm sorry is that I ... What are you looking at?
- The new girl, her name is Caitlin Snow, she makes magnificent ice sculptures, it looks like she was transferred
from the old school because her parents moved to metropolis.(Karen)
- I heard she was the most popular girl in the school she came from, it looks like you're going to have competition Zee haha. (Kara)
Kara slaps my arm as part of the joke and I have a very weak laugh, I was happy to have another student at school, and it looks like I wouldn't be the only popular girl here now, you might think it's envy or something, but something about this girl tells me that she’s not welcome here, there’s something wrong with her ...
- Aren't you Zee zatara? I heard a lot about you. (Caitlin)
I didn't notice Caitlin approaching, I was distracted again.
- A-ah hi, yes it is me, very pleased.
I reach out to her for a friendly handshake, but she doesn't fight back ...
- My name is Caitlin Snow, you don't feel threatened by me or anything, do you (Caitlin)
- T-threatened ?! excuse me?
- It's just that I was the most popular girl in my school before I left, and you are the most popular girl here, so ... (Caitlin)
- Oh, of course, I’m very calm about it.
- If that's what you say ... (Caitlin)
Caitlin walks towards the exit of the school door, but in the middle of the way she stops in front of the photographs of all the proms that the Metropolis school has had, and by chance, I was the queen of all these proms, she looks calmly all the pictures one by one, when Caitlin then takes one of my prom queen pictures in her hand and suddenly ... she throws it in the trash.
- I was the most popular girl in my school, and believe me Zee zatara, I don't like to share anything with anyone, especially titles, and in fact, you should feel threatened by me. This school is already mine, bye bye. (Caitlin)
I couldn't believe it, she threatened me?! I didn't feel threatened by her in any way, but now ... I felt very threatened, and it wasn't because of my title.
- You saw that-- GIRLS!
- Ah it was bad zee, we were seeing the ice statue, it moves can you believe it ?! This is very cool! (Kara)
- Were you going to say something, Zee? (Jess)
- No, I don't think so. Let's go home?
(Time skip)
After a long and tiring trip home I had time to relax a little, I was thinking more clearly now.
- Caitlin Snow is not it? Let's see what you do for a living.
I search for Caitlin's name on instagram, and luckily I found her profile, she was in first place in searches.
- but what is so impressive about you ...
I keep looking for something suspicious in Caitlin's profile, I know you think I'm jealous, but believe me, it's not jealous, I'm suspicious of this girl. Well, I look around for a while and I can't find anything, all I found out was that Caitlin makes a video of make-up, ice sculptures, and that her family has their own business, she and her mother give presentations on magical ice sculptures. and skating in a theater ... familiar isn't it? Maybe I would even be jealous of her? After all, she was beautiful, intelligent and had her own business. I was already accepting that I was getting jealous of the girl with white hair, when I decide to click on any video on her Instagram just to end it all, the video was starting, Caitlin talked about makeup, how to make a perfect contour and these things, I watched the video for about 2 minutes, until something caught my attention... I realized that every time the mirror appeared, the image would lock up, looking like those films from the 1950s, you know? I thought it was strange, but I didn't want to watch the rest of the video with the image of a film from my father's time! so I used my magic to make the video stop locking... it was a mistake, because as soon as I cast the spell on the video, I looked in the mirror, and believe me, it was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life, there was something with ... horns in the mirror! This confirmed my suspicions, there was something wrong with that girl and I intended to find out what.
- Zee, it's time to sleep.
- Okay daddy, good night.
I turn off the light and fall asleep, but I still thinking about it for a bit before falling asleep.
(Time skip)
I was already at school, and last night I decided that in addition to discovering what is strange about this girl, I was going to keep everyone away from her, if there was something more sinister behind it, it was better to let everyone away so that no one would get hurt, so I decided to give a magic show at school today, so no one would be around Caitlin.
- Ladies and gentlemen, witness the unique, incredible and fabulous, Zee zatara!
I was waiting for people's cheers, but nobody said anything, maybe everyone was on a different side of the school? Well, I take my bench and my special effects and look for a place with a lot of people at school, and walking through the halls I saw her... it was too late, everyone was surrounding Caitlin and watching her ice skating show, there was always an ice rink here? How come I never noticed ?!
- Sister! You arrived at the right time, we watching the new girl skating on the ice, join us! (Diana)
Diana pulls my arm to take me to Caitlin's show, but I release my arm from Diana's grip.
- Everything is fine? Don't you want to see the show? (Diana)
- I-i want, but ...
I sigh.
- Diana, there is something wrong with this girl, I don't know what it is but, there is something wrong with her.
- Something wrong? What you mean? (Diana)
- Yesterday I was watching a video about her on instagram, and in the reflection of the mirror something with horns appeared, look!
I had taken a screenshot of the video if it was useful, so I showed it to Diana.
- something with horns? where? (Diana)
- Right there in the mirror!
- Zee, has nothing there. (Diana)
- b-but, you don't see it?
- ... Look zee, you must be feeling threatened by Caitlin's presence I know, but remember what I said to Barbara Minerva when she said she was the cheetah? I said "One person’s success doesn’t exclude another person’s success" you don’t have to be jealous of her, Zee.(Diana)
- No, no, no, Diana please believe me I’m not jealous of her, don’t you see the horned creature in the mirror ?!
- Sorry zee, you will need more than a blank mirror to prove that Caitlin is a monster. (Diana)
Diana is gone, she went to see the show like everyone else...
- Diana... the monster... I don't believe it, am I going crazy?
I was questioning my sanity now, she is not here at school for 3 days and is already driving me crazy, is it me who is to blame? Was my magic playing with my mind? I didn't know anything else at this point, if the diana who was born in a home full of magic and monsters didn't believe me, who else would believe it? Maybe Casey Krinsky was messing with my mind right now, I better go wash my face to ease the tension.
(In the bathroom)
- control yourself Zee, you're going crazy, keep calm! My god what is happening to me...
My makeup was totally messy now, maybe redoing it would help me, so as soon as I look in the mirror I see the horned demon's reflection, from the chest down he was just bones, his outside ribs gave him a touch ghastly.
- Do you talk to yourself? (Caitlin)
- C-ca...Caitlin ?!
I look in the mirror again, and the reflection was normal now, it was just Caitlin's reflection.
- Weren't you at your skating show?
- I was, but I had to come here to touch up my makeup, by the way, today is crazy day and nobody told me? Hahahaha (Caitlin)
She snorts out of the bathroom. In just 2 days she dropped my food, made me stumble, and ruined my school work, I was sick of her being mean to me.
- Why you hate me?
- I do not hate you Zatara, you are cool, the only problem I have with you is that you are in this school with me, I remember saying that I do not like to share, and that the title of popular girl was mine, 80% of this title already belongs to me, but if you don’t leave the game I’ll never have the rest. (Caitlin)
- I'm not leaving this school, especially since I know you're hiding something scary from the rest of the people.
- Girl, you're crazy. (Caitlin)
- I'm not crazy, what is it then?!
I show the mirror photo to Caitlin, and she smiles arrogantly.
- it's good to know that you have magic.
- W-what are you talking about?
- Find out for yourself, Zatanna.
Caitlin comes out of the bathroom, leaving me with doubts and alone there.
(Time skip)
It's been 5 days, and Caitlin is officially the most popular girl in school, my friends just talked about her and about the ice skating shows, that didn't help at all, so I decided to stay a few days alone.
- Should we go over there and talk to Zee? I'm already getting worried. (Jess)
- I tried to talk to her a couple of days ago, but she insists that Caitlin is a villain, I think we better let her have some time. (Diana)
I watched my friends from afar, I was missing them so much, but I couldn't go back without discovering the horrible thing that Caitlin was, I couldn't solve this case on an empty stomach, so I went to get a snack in the cafeteria, I got one a little bit of spaghetti and I went towards my table, but suddenly Caitlin puts her foot in front of me and I fall to the floo ... face to face with the spaghetti, the whole school laughed at me.
- I do not believe that! (Kara)
- G-guys, calm down, it could have been an accident. (Karen)
- Accident will be my fist landing on the face of that pale white girl! (Kara)
I get up, I had noodles all over my hair and face, I was already irritated by all that and I wanted to hit Caitlin, but I couldn't, Jess taught me that anger is not always the way. I was annoyed, but I tried to stay calm.
- Caitlin, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
- Of course my dear, I'll be back girls.
(Out of school)
- about what you want to talk?
- "About what you want to talk?" Really?! What was that?!
- It was an accident.
- Accident ... ACCIDENT ?! ARGH.
I got annoyed, Jess would be disappointed in me, but I couldn't take any more teasing, I ended up not even caring if she was going to know that I have magic, so I hit her with a spell of magic, and of course, I regret doing that.
- Oh my god, I'm so sorry Caitlin, I'm really sorry!
Caitlin didn't move, I was worried, and as soon as I was going to call the ambulance she started to move... But it wasn't just that, I don't know if I hit my head too hard on the food tray a few minutes ago or something like that, but, I was watching Caitlin increase in size, that's right, she was growing and her shape and clothes were changing, the sky was getting cloudy and for some reason it started to snow ... it was summer! Why was it snowing?!
- I'm already tired of you Zee zatara ... (Killer Frost)
- C-Caitlin?
I was getting farther and farther away, it was getting really weird, as Caitlin moved her shape seemed bigger, she leaned on some bricks of the destroyed wall in order to get up, and as soon as she stands, I get scared, Caitlin was super tall! She had to bend down to go through the door, she are so big.
- I will kill you, Zee zatara! (Killer Frost)
I had no more doubts, Caitlin had super powers and was ready to transform into one of her ice sculptures, I wasted no time and soon changed too, and as soon as I was going to run away, she took me by the cape.
- You're in so much trouble. (Killer Frost)
- I don't want to fight with you, please let's talk!
- I have nothing to talk to you about! (Killer Frost)
Caitlin threw me so far and so high, that I ended up on the 7th floor wall of a building. My body was hurting a lot, but I had to defeat it, but as soon as I got up, Caitlin landed on my body and tried to hang me.
- By the way, you can call me Killer Frost instead of Caitlin in the next life, Zee Zatara! (Killer Frost)
- I'm not afraid of snow!
I teleport to the opposite side of Killer Frost, I needed to defeat it somehow, so I create a loop to be able to hold it, I throw the loop at Frost, but it freezes it and turns the shards into sharp pieces of ice, then throw them at me, I teleport again and try to hit her with my magic, but she creates an ice shield to protect herself from my attacks.
- Frost, let's talk! I do not want to hurt you!
- BUT I WANT TO HURT YOU! I JUST WANTED ATTENTION, YOU ALREADY HAVE TOO MUCH ATTENTION! (Killer Frost)
The earth begins to tremble, and in the midst of so much snow a giant snake made of ice chases me, I run, but the snake captures me.
- You always had everything you wanted Zatanna, attention, love, friends, and now it's my turn to have it all!
I wanted to say something, but then I start to feel my body getting cold, I look at my legs and see that I'm starting to freeze, would this be the end of me? No ... I couldn't die like that, I needed help, and luckily, I see a shiny golden lasso looping the tail of the giant snake that held me, the snake melted, and behind it revealed five super heroines, Wonder Woman, Batgirl, Supergirl, Green Lantern and Bumblebee.
- Are you okay? (Wonder Woman)
Wonder woman said, she took my hand and saw that I had a low body temperature.
- stay out of this fight, you could end up hurting yourself even more. (Wonder Woman)
67 notes · View notes
sapphire-innit · 3 years
Text
DRISTAAAAA TIMEEE
VOD: TommyInnit Speaks To Dream’s Sister AGAIN
(rp): Drista!! I love this chaotic child and am looking forward to seeing the children bully each other lmao. I especially love the mythos around Creative mode, and that the most benevolent god on the Dream SMP is just as likely to ban you as hand you a shulker box lol.
I do wonder how in character cc!Tommy is going to be able to stay during this stream: on one hand he’s a master at staying in character even during lh moments, and on the other Exile arc is some Dark Shit and Dristas like what, 14?? Overall I expect this to be one of the lighter streams, with a smattering of moments where we remember that, oh right, Tommy’s pretty actively suicidal at this point and he sees this as one of his last hurrahs.
Speaking of our boy Tommy: it's very clear we are getting closer and closer to the infamous pillar. He switches rapidly between Fight and Fawn reflexes and has mostly internalized Dream’s treatment and conditions at this point. The one stand out moment being him calling out Dream killing Mexican Dream last stream, and pointing out he was changing his story even when Dream tried to lie and say he died of “a drug overdose [...] or natural causes”. I’m curious if Tommy is going to bring it up again, and even more curious if he eventually believes Dream about it; something to watch out for, for sure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this moment of rebellion happened right after he had someone both stand up for him and spend time with him that wasn’t actively hostile or going to end (supposedly, at least by intention)
Hey we didn’t start off drowning for once!! cc!Tommy was also singing, though that could have been mostly out of character as well. Still, remarkably in a better mood, he even mentions having an appetite! You love to see it, and it's clearly because he’s looking forward to Drista’s visit
He’s building a log tower and on one hand, Tommy building Towers is a natural state of being, and on the other…. I know the pillar is coming and I am scared
A mention of the Anti-Dream hole… I still worry about when exactly and how Dream is going to find it. Still, I’m glad it exists, both for Tommy having a space for things important to him, as well as what it represents about his mental state re:not giving over completely to Dream
DRISTA!!!! LOL she was already online we didn't even see her join LOL. CHAOS GREMLIN she just flew over in creative mode and started wrecking shit, as is her right lmaoooo
“You massive jer--, (quieter) whats a nicer way…, YOU MASSIVE DICKHEAD” oh, Tommy..
I like how he tries to punch her even when shes CLEARLY IN CREATIVE MODE ADSADASD
The violence inherent in fourteen year olds,,,, adsfsadfsdfds
I hate this conversation why is this the conversation asdffdsfsd TEENAGERS
DREAM YOUR NOT EVEN A TEENAGER WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE SAME LOGIC
Well SHE can destroy the obsidian asdfsdfds She just Spleefs
“What would Dream do” Probably worse lets be honest
Is he actually gonna go back to L’manburg?? I don’t believe it but I also want :(
Again with the stabbing
AND DOWN HE GOEEEESSSS
“I have the fork, but I'm also killing you” afsafsdfdsf Tommy why are you wearing your good shit omg
Lol cc!Dream trying to defend his character for mocking Tommy’s accent adsfsdfds “I would NEVER” in the totally not believable tone lmaoooo
DID SHE REALLY GO AT HIM WITH A FORK I'M FUCKING DYING DSAFDADSFDS
“I will take it from you and I’ll kill him”... I have so many thoughts about how this works in lore. Is Drista possessing Dream? He can kick her out clearly, but she still has God Powers…
Lol and now SHES mocking his accent lmaoooo (... is it bad she sounded pretty close to me? lol)
Adsfdsfswd casual chaos Drista just broke the Nether Portal
Asking Drista to stop destroying things is a big ask to be honest lmaoo. Also she seems to be at least somewhat informed that ‘Dream is not supposed to be nice to Tommy’ or at least seemed hesitant to do /weather clear
GOD THE LAVA BUCKETS AND THE POTION OF HARMING adsfsdfsdf
“Tommy [beheaded him] actually… and killed Mexican Dream” Dream you motherfucker
“How to Sex 3” THE PANIK!!!!!! From Both cc!Dream and Tommy!!! This server is Not Child Friendly lol (Doesn’t…. That not even include sex things…. afasfsd)
Honestly I can’t stop smiling this is so wholesome somehow even with all the cursing and violence
Pigstep IS a bop, Tommy is right
“Just let him, just let him this one time” :(
“Tommy I still have the Fork” Drista totally willing to stab her brother to visit L’manburg
HE TOOK THE FORK ASDASDAS
Yes, closing your eyes will totally protect you from Forks lol
“I don’t need school, I dropped out” Is this Lore Crumbs, is this Lore
HEYYYY ITS THE BEDROCK, the one piece of bedrock he has lol, I think he still has that in current day right?
Drista is writing her name in BEDROCK adsfsdfds “I’m not going to be able to get rid of that actually” “That's the Point”
LOL SHe also recognized the burrito as from Mos lmaooo
Somehow “I really want to go to the other place.. I don’t know why he won’t let you” hit hard… it was def ooc, and she doesn’t have the full context, but still… its just someone else wanting and asking for Tommy to be able see L’manburg…
Afsdfsd the Small Gasp when she spleefs herself omgg
HES THERE!!! HES THERE!!!!!! L’MANBURG!!!!!!
Punz!!! WHY!!!! Were you there bc Drista might let Tommy through, was this a safeguard for the LORE. Also he’s currently working for Dream directly right, as a merc?
Drista trying to save Tommy!!!! Punz why are you winning a fight with someone in creative adfsadfsd He’s too good lol
They have negotiated a visit… I’m so emotional I wasn’t expecting this…. No one told me we got a real L’manburg visit !
BIG Q SHES FOURTEEN!!! Omg they didn’t tell him it was Drista. BIG Q!!! BIG Q DON’T SELL HER DRUGS
“He was Naked” good for you Drista, good for you. There’s something so hilarious about Drista just stabbing Quackity over and over again cause she’s uncomfortable lol (as is her right)
LOL THE FINAL KILL WITH MAGIC WHEN HE’S ALREADY DROWNING IM
Wha --- what video was it????? What is this Tommy picture on the Technoganda???
….”are you sure I’m allowed here” Dream’s conditioning is strong :(
“At many minute I could get mugged” To be Fair Tommy, that was true before
Did Tommy just suggest spawning in a Wither asdfsdfds
DRISTA DOG ARMY!!!! Aww and Tommy has one too~
THE BENCH!! THE HOUSE!!! Aaaaaaaaa He’s sitting on the bench nature is HEALING
AAAAAAAA A BLAZE!!!! Pfffft
…. Who destroyed the front of Tommys house?
,,,,Drista what are you doing with that soULSAND
“OK we'll turn on him” adsfsdfsd
OH HEY TECHNO!!! Lol “Oh god he meant me” fucking mood big man
……. Tubbo hallucination……… fuck
LOL HE COMBAT LOGGED “YOU CALL THAT COMBAT” I'M
To be fair, logging against a /kill is probably the only way to get away lmao
…...F
“Getting thrown off a cliff is literally how Theseus died!!” lol its also hilarious to me that Tommy def does not remember being called that. Personally I don't think it fits him super well anyway, but I do like it as something Techno calls Tommy, that shows how much he misjudges Tommy's character and intentions. No heroes here, just a kid trying to do good by their friends and what they care about
Techno actually looking up how to kill someone in creative mode
…. :( I just want my actual clingyduo content this is meeeeannn
OH HEY TECHNO …. You fucker he would and it would be HILARIOUS (get mad if Drista opped Techno that is lol)
….
….
IS THIS WHY THEY’RE BEDROCK BROS????? BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE DRISTA BEDROCK??????????????????????????
HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ???
LOL TRUE DUO SUPREMACY TUBBO’S GOT TECHNO'S BEDROCK
Oh F Techno got him with the Obliterator lmaoooo
“I have 114 levels PLEASE” asdfdasfsdf
LOL Tubbo with the TNT there's our nuke boy, I'll take my crumbs where I can get them
THE SHULKER HOLY SHIT
“Don't let someone get it!!”” ADSFDSAFSDFDS they all tuRN CC REAL QUICK WHEN THE SHULKER BOXES COME OUT
Awesamdudes like: MORE PLEASE AFDASFDSF
Techno immediately snitching about Elytra and dRISTA GETTING THE ACHIEVEMENT
EVERYONE SNITCHING IN CHAT I'M!!!! DREAMS REACTION ASDFSDFDSF
Drista being the chaotic giver of illegal gifts is so fucking good I'M THRIVING
THE RUN ON PUNZ !!!! omg
Also can we just take a minute to appreciate Tommy being allowed around people <3 <3 This is so wholesome and good and chaotic as all hell
“I thought I was Tom Cruz for like a whole week” ...TOMMY??
LOL SHE BANNED TECHNO OMG
Dristas on a banning Rampage afsdfsdf
BAN GOGGY OMGGG
Omg shes actually making a wITHER DASDASDFAS
Oh no poor Tubbo I didn’t know he was liVE
319k viewers jeezus
Awwwww Techno hyping up Wilbur's song :) that's so sweet actually
…………….Fuck you Dream :( saw the chance to Twist the Knife in c! And TOOK IT
LOL THE FUCKING FORK IS THE BEST BIT LOLLLL
Lol ironically the Bedrock bros song is the oNE COPYRIGHTED ONE, god why did Minecraft ever copyright Pigstep what a shit move honestlyyy
Pigstep fucking goING TO TECHNO LOLLLLLL “this is the most powerful item on the server since it DMCA’s people”
LOL PUNZ TRYING TO STEAL ANOTHER SHULKER
Poor Sam he actually has to BUILD give this man a SHULKER
Lol Everyone wants a shulker so much
….aww he tried to toss the pigstep disc lmaooo DRISTAS LITERALLY HOLDING IT Scaaaaaammmmed
Drista “I NEED IT ON HAND” So committed to violence !!!
The fucking creepers on the way out omg fuckign PERFECT
LOL TOMMY WASN’T READY FOR THE TURN AROUND ON CURSING LMAO You can tell he's always been the youngest who people aren't sure how much they can curse around lmao He's so soft honestly he talks such a big game and then CRUMBLES when called on it lol
Asfdsfs she fell through the same hole again afsdfsdfsd
Drista has been introduced to a Weapon and she’s gotten ATTACHED lmaooo
Wait HOLD THE PHONE Dream has multiple sisters??? Lol
“Yeah I like Shit” Dream: “whAT???”
Bye Drista it’s been nice!!! I hope she had a good time, she seems like a good kid (who is definitely not a content creator lol though she keeps up admirably)
Drista’s one of the few people who can make Tommy speechless lmaooo he looks actually shocked lol
Also first mention of GhostInnit…. cc!Tommy…..
Keep preparing…. Was his original plan to rush Dream even if (maybe especially if…) he died? Fuck man
Also holy shit was this stream right before Quackitys? ? amazing
This was honestly such a BLAST and a really good time, and I can see why its viewed as one of the few breaks we get during Exile :) I feel so refreshed and it was so so nice to have Tommy hanging out in L’manburg having fun with his friends (even if Tubbo was stuck being a Hallucination and Also Banned lol) No deeper insight, I just haven’t stopped smiling for an hour and a half <3
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riseofnightwing · 4 years
Text
Once Upon a Dream - Dick Grayson Imagine (You'll love me at once, The way you did once upon a dream)
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pairing: Dick Grayson x Titan! (Preg!Wifey!Reader)
request¹: When Trigon is controlling Dick, he sees Y / n as his wife instead of Dawn. So he tells Y / n what he saw.
request²: Can you write something about Dick and y/n being pregnant and he is protective over her and the baby? Thanks
notes: I joined these two lovely requests together because I thought they fit pretty well I’m so sorry the delay, I’m back at college and doing both is pretty hard but i did my very best. hope you enjoy it xxxx<3 y/e/c: your eye color
y/n/n: your nickname
“Good dreams, big boy.” I said as I put my son to sleep after telling him all the stories he asked me to. John wasn’t a hard-to-deal kid, he reminded me a lot of myself when I was younger, not the bad things, of course, only the good ones, although I wished he could inherit more of Y/n. Looking back at my past doesn’t make me that proud of who I was, but if I admire someone, it surely is my wife. 
Heading to our bedroom, I entered, immediately locking my eyes for more than a second with a pair of large, Y/E/C eyes set in a pretty face. Y/N was laying down in our bed, reading her book. It didn’t matter how many times I looked at her, she would always look as beautiful as ever. 
“Hey, Boy Wonder.” She greeted me with her specific -and so beloved by me- soft tone of voice.
“Hello, y/n/n” I took my shoes off, sitting in the bed, close to her. Her smell entered my nostrils as I placed a warm kiss on her neck. “How’s our baby and my wife doing?” I caressed her belly, trying to check on our kid as much as I could. Having John four years ago made me way more responsible and careful than I would imagine that I could be someday. Since it, my family had been all I cared for, the hero life didn’t need me as much as they did, or as much as I needed them too. 
“We’re doing fine, he didn’t kick me like yesterday so yes..we’re good for today” she told me with a smile on her face. “But my feet, god, they’re killing me” 
“Well, I think I can help you on this” I told her with a half smile 
“Yeah? Show me how then.” she said and i moved to the end of the bed, sitting with her feet in my laps while i started to massage it.
She left her book on her side, positioning comfortably through the pillows
“I already told you this but..you’re the best husband in the whole world” she said
“I know that, thank you” i said, mocking her 
“You’re so sassy, Grayson” we laughed together. I kept doing the massage for ten minutes when, in a matter of a second, we were interrupted by my phone ringing, showing Jason Todd on it’s screen. He was calling for a video call.
I didn’t talk to Jason for ages, what would he want now? 
I looked at Y/n and she nodded at me, pointing that I should answer and I did. She got back to read her book while I answered his call, but I knew my wife pretty well to know she was still listening.
“Hey, Jay. Long time no see” I said when his face showed up on the screen. He was different, surely not the same Jason I knew 5 years ago.
“Hey, man, not as good as you, I think.” He answered, showing his legs. He was sitting in a wheelchair, I got perplexed. What the hell did happen to him?
“Jason”  I had my hands covering my mouth after passing them through my hair. “What happened?”
“I was stupid. Totally my fault. Riddler and some guys were hitting jewelry stores late at night.” he spoke and I paid attention to every single word “Batman and I staked one out, caught them coming in. Should’ve gone down real simple, but I got too cocky. Big Surprise.” He had his head down, recognizing his mistakes.
“Went straight for him, Though I could take him down on my own. You know the Riddler never uses a gun?” 
I nodded at him, it was true, he never did.
“Well, now he does. Bullet hit on my t5 vertebra. I still have it here.”
“Jesus.. I’m so sorry for that.”
“Gotham’s gotten worse, man” He looked at me “Way fucking worse. Commissioner Gordon’s dead.”
“What?” I was completely astonished by what I heard. How the fuck did Bruce let it happen? 
“Three days ago. It was the joker, and it was bad. When Bruce finally found where he was. It was too late already.” he said “He’s going to kill the joker”
I felt Y/n’s intrigued eyes on me at this point. She knew Bruce almost too much like I did.
“He would never do that. Bruce has a line he’ll never cross” 
“Things have changed, Dick. Alfred Died, I got shot, Commissioner Gordon Died.” Too much information to my own good, I wish I could still be in peace with Yn in bed like I was some minutes ago.
“Why are you telling me all of that now?” I sighed.
“Because you’re the real Robin, man. Not me. He was never the same after you left. Alfred said it. Superman said it. You were the only one he ever listened to. Maybe the only one he cared about after his parents died.” I didn’t answer him this time, it was too much.
“You need to come back to Gotham and convince him not to do it.”
What? Come back to Gotham? 
“I can’t. I swore I’d never go back.I haven’t spoke to Bruce in years”
“The whole thing with Tony Zucco. You know what he’s going through. If he does it, there’s no coming back.” I looked back at him “He’s the only hero that Gotham has left.” he sighed “You’re the only one that could save him” 
He said and hung up, leaving me with innumerable thoughts, innumerable questions.
 I threw my phone at the sofa in front of the bed, getting up and running my hands through my hair. 
I felt a pair of arms hugging me from behind
“Dick.” I heard her voice “I’m here.”
“If bruce wants to do something, he’s gonna do it. We both know that.” I said turning around to look at her.  “He dresses up like a bat to fight crime. That works for him.” I spoke trying to show her my point of view, it was insane what Jason just told me.
“But this idea that I’m the only one that could save him? It’s bullshit.” I complemented, walking side to side in the room while she was looking calmly at me.
“Then, who?” she just asked
“What?” 
“Jim Gordon is dead. Alfred is dead. Barbara’s missing. He fell out with Superman years ago. He’s alone.” She told me, eye to eye.
“He’s always alone, Y/n.”
“Not when you’re around, Dick. How’re you going to feel if you don’t at least try?”
“Bruce Wayne is not my responsibility.” I raised my tone of voice, being hard at what I said. Damn. I knew I had fucked up the minute I said it, so I walked to her.
“I’m sorry.” I hugged her from behind just like she did some minutes ago. “After our baby, if he still hasn’t got shit together, I’ll go. I can’t leave the three of you alone here.” 
“Okay.” She said “Oh my god, Dick, he just kicked, he knows we’re talking about’im”
I smiled and moved my hands to her belly in an attempt to feel our son’s kick’s. It was crazy how much my family meant to me, remembering that I always loved Y/n and now, having a life built with her and calling her “wife” is the most peaceful feeling i’ve ever felt.
Our moment was interrupted by a little figure entering our bedroom. It was John with his sleepy face and his teddybear, “Growley” -which one Gar gave to him on his birthday- and we turned our attention to him.
“Hey buddy, couldn’t sleep?” I asked 
“Growley wants to go with you.” he told me 
“Go where, sweetie?” Y/n asked our older son.
“To Gotham City” He said and I laughed. Did he hear it all?
“Wow. Eavesdropping.” Y/n told me.
“But Growley is your favourite.” 
“He’ll protect you.” John said and left, heading to his room, sleeping again.
“Look honey.” Y/n turned to me, putting a hand on my face and I leaned at her touch, closing my eyes, she always had the power to put my shit together when I couldn’t.
“I know that your relationship with Bruce is more than complicated, and that the last time you saw each other you said some things..But he saved you, Dick.”
“What if you’re the only one who can save him back?” I scoff.
“Baby, that’s absurd.” I told her 
“But what if?” She asked me.
--
The next morning I was ready to take a plane to GC. I called Donna to keep here with Y/n until I got back. The bell rang and she was here. Me and Y/n went to receive our old friend.
“Hey Donn” Y/n greeted her.
“I missed you, sister.” The black haired girl answered my wife.
“Hey crazy chick. It’s good to see you. Thank you for coming.” I told her when she came to hug me.
“No problem, don’t worry, I’ll be taking a real good care of these three”
“I don’t doubt it”
We talked to each other and I was ready to leave.
“I’ll be back in a matter of a second, baby, I promise. I’ll have my phone close every time, call me if you need and i’ll be right back.”
“Dick, I’m the one who should be pretty worried by now, and believe me, I am, so please, take care in every moment of this, right?”
"Come on, it’s me. I’m good at this sort of stuff, remember?" I told her with a cocky smile.
We kissed deeply. I gave John a kiss on his head.
“Take care of your mother and your auntie, alright? That’s your mission.”
“Alright, Dad.” he smiled sweetly at me.
“Donn, call me if she feels anything different from normal, any sight of danger and I'll drop everything on Gotham and I'll be back, deal?” Donna nodded at me.
“You’re everything I have. I love you” I said in my wife’s ear, leaving a kiss on her forehead, and leaving.
--
Gotham was crazy, not the city I knew, the city I left back, this is the closest to hell i’ve ever got to.
I wanted to go back to my family, my pregnant wife, my 4 year old son, my house. But I couldn’t forget that once, Gotham was my home too.
The joker is almost dead. Bruce threw him up from a building and now the police escorted him to a hospital.
I followed to the place that, for a long time, sheltered me. Wayne manor, I needed to talk to Bruce. And I Tried, I told him the joker isn't dead yet and he had a chance to sneak out from darkness. But he didn’t appear so I left.
Although my conscience led me to think I should go back to the better life I chose when I burned my suit, that I should just forget about being Batman’s savior and go back to Y/n, everything kept me stuck on the city. Things happened faster than I could control.
Bruce killed the joker at the hospital. He ran before I could get him, he injured policemen. He didn’t stop at it, he Killed prisoners, nurses, guards. It wasn’t justice, it was a massacre. He couldn’t be saved. He needed to be stopped. I made his name public. 
I drove an operation to get him and he killed all my team.
He wanted me to give in to the darkness. To become him. 
Well, fuck you, Bruce, you win.
I killed Batman.
--
“Dick.” Hands on my face and a voice calling my name, it was all I could understand now.
“Dick, It was all planned by trigon” Rachel was at the batcave, where i killed batman. What was she saying? “Dick, you would never kill batman.”
 “Shut the fuck up” I told her, I had to kill him.
“You’re the boy from the circus, Dick. We’re supposed to save each other.” She said and we were in my parent’s circus. The flying Graysons, my good memories showed up and I woke up.
“I missed you.”
“Rach” I chuckle.
“Welcome back.” She told me and left to find trigon. 
Y/n. Her face filled my mind. Wasn’t it all real? Everything we lived, our home, our son, she was my wife for I don’t know how long and it was all trigon controlling my mind, but still, it felt so real. So good.
I had to find her.
“What’s going on?” Gar appeared with his face pretty much hurted.
“Hey, Gar, I swear I’ll tell you everything later but, where’s Y/n?”
“She’s black eyed, Dick. Outside, Don’t think you should..”
“I will get her back.”
--
When I came outside, all the titans were looking at Trigon and Raven, and I knew her enough to know that she’d deal pretty well with him. I looked at Y/n and she wasn’t awake, so I pulled her by her arm.
I turned her to look at me and she did. 
“Y/n, it’s me, Dick. Wake up.”
“That’s me. The real me.” She had Trigon on her mind still and I needed her back.
“It’s not, I know you, Y/n. I saw you, in my vision, I had you with me so please, come back.”
Our eyes were locked, she seemed to hear what I had said and with no reluctance, she was back, her eyes weren't blacked anymore and she woke up.
“Dick.” she seemed confused. We all were.
“You’re back.” 
I hugged her and she hugged me back, words were never spoken between me and Y/n, although I bet everyone knew about our feelings about each other, I never faced it, until now. I broke the embrace to look at her-
“I had you, Y/n, in my mind, during all the time you were with me and when I faced reality, it was sad that it was only a dream. It made me realize that’s enough of hiding, I need you to keep with me, because I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t and because.. I love you.”
She looked at me as if she couldn’t believe it.
“I’m being completely honest in every word I said.”
“I’m here,  Dick. Kiss me.” She said, surprising me, and I did. 
“I’ve waited for this for so long.” She said when we parted our kiss.
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collecting-stories · 4 years
Text
Lucky - JJ Maybank
Request: 15. “I don’t deserve you.” - “You deserve everything.” with JJ pls <3
A/N: I wrote a blurb similar to this a while ago and always wanted to expand on it/rewrite it with more detail so I did lol. 
Outer Banks Masterlist
✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
JJ sat in the holding cell, waiting for Shoupe to reappear and tell him that his dad was here to pick him up. He didn’t regret what he had done for Pope, if he had to he would do it all over again. But he also realized, the longer he sat here, that any hell he could endure actually being locked up was ten times better than inevitably facing his dad.  
He could still remember the look on your face when Shoupe had pulled up and he’d taken the fall for sinking Topper’s boat. There was a list a mile long that Shoupe wanted to pin on him and knowing he could add that to it had him smiling like a kid in a candy shop. You looked devastated though, freaked out maybe, you’d gone back inside of Heyward’s before Shoupe had even finished putting JJ in the car.  
“She’s just upset.” Kiara had said, doing her best to sound supportive. It was no use though, watching you rush back into the store had practically broken his heart.  
If you’d thought it through you would’ve stayed until the car pulled out of the parking lot. But the only thing running through your mind at that moment was that you could not, would not, let JJ’s dad be the one to pick him up from the jail cell.  
JJ kept his relationship with his dad under wraps for the most part but you’d found out how bad it was just two weeks prior and there was no doubt in your mind that you could not let him go home with his dad. You didn’t take the time to think about anything other than running inside to grab your phone from behind the register where you’d left it when Shoupe came in. It was a long shot, maybe, but you had to try.  
“Must be your lucky day Maybank,” Shoupe called, walking into the holding pen and coming up to JJ’s cell, “your lawyer is here to bail you out.”
“My what?” JJ asked, too shocked to be smug.
“Lawyer.” Shoupe repeated, opening the door and letting JJ walk out.  
At the desk, signing the paperwork for JJ’s release, was a well dressed man that definitely looked like he lived on the Eight. Not JJ’s dad by a long shot, not even someone he knew, though there was something familiar in the face. When the door opened to let JJ out onto the other side of the precinct the man turned toward him fully, introducing himself. Only when he heard the last name did it click in his mind.
“Not exactly how I imagined meeting my daughter’s boyfriend but I guess a trumped up vandalism charge is better than some other things.” He said, glancing at Shoupe purposefully.  
You had been dating JJ for a solid four weeks, enough time to know that you were pretty sold on the pogue but not enough time to sell anyone else in your family. He hadn’t met your parents yet and he was putting it off because of obvious reasons, the most notable being that you were a kook and he wasn’t.  
There was no way, according to JJ, that your dad would ever approve of you dating him. If there was a hierarchy in the Eight then there was one on the Cut too and JJ sat right at the bottom, lowest of the low.  
“Just like, one dinner,” you had practically begged when you asked JJ to come over for dinner the week before. “my parents really wanna meet you.”
“Tell them they can wave to me when I pull in the driveway.” He joked, twisting away from you when you tried to shove him.  
“I’m serious, this is important.”
“I’m serious too,” JJ replied, “they aren’t gonna like me. And they definitely aren’t gonna let you date me after they meet me.”
“You don’t know that.”
Clearly, you had been right. JJ didn’t know that at all because here he was with your dad, Shoupe finishing the last of the paperwork, explaining the charges and the cost of the fine and then releasing him into your dad’s custody. For once in his life JJ wasn’t entirely sure what to say. Thank you seemed like too little. He doubted that your dad truly knew what this meant, it wasn’t just getting him off of a charge, it was making sure he didn’t have to go home at the end of the day.  
When they got out of the precinct you were right there, waiting by the car. You practically tackled JJ to the ground in your excitement, throwing your arms around his neck and hanging onto him for dear life. “I was freaking out.” You explained, lips brushing against his neck as you spoke. He kept his arms around your waist, holding you up.  
Your dad cleared his throat, standing at the driver’s side of his door and waiting for the two of you to direct your attention toward him. When you pulled away from JJ to face your dad, he stared speaking, “there’s still some things to go over with the charges...like whether there is merit to them. I can reach out to Dr. Thornton when I get home. I expect you at our house for dinner...think it might be a good idea that we were properly introduced, since I just bailed you out of jail.” He said.
“Right, thank you too, for that.” JJ replied, a little stiff. Aside from Heyward, there weren’t too many adults that he was comfortable around.
“We’ll be back for dinner, promise.” You were already grabbing JJ’s hand, leading him away from the precinct and your dad, heading toward the Wreck. You had texted Kiara that your dad was springing JJ and asked where exactly she was planning a meet-up.  
Not ten minutes ago JJ had been sitting in a cell considering all the things that would happen once his dad got there. That familiar disappointment settling in his stomach. He’d done a good thing for his friend, he couldn’t deny that, but his dad would never have seen it that way. In his mind it would’ve just been his only son, screwing up once again, proving him right that JJ was nothing but a loser. He had imagined the whole scenario, multiple times. Would he hit him in the car? Would he wait to get home? It was all a little more than he could handle thinking about.  
“JJ,” you had stopped at the corner of the street for a traffic light only to realize your boyfriend looked almost catatonic as he followed you. “JJ?” You repeated yourself, pressing a hand against the side of his face and he visibly flinched before withdrawing.
“Sorry.” He muttered.
“Are you okay?” You asked, “sorry I put you on the spot like that with my dad...I just didn’t want anything worse to happen.”
“It’s okay,” He promised. “I just freaked a little when I saw you run inside, I figured you realized this wasn’t what you signed up for.”  
A kook dating a pogue wasn’t unheard of but JJ was a little off. Everyone said so. He was okay for a night, for a hookup, but he was a little too intense to go out with for longer than that. He was sure that firing the gun at the boneyard was going to be your limit but you kept showing up, kept wanting to hang out.  
You shook your head, “I...signed up...for you. For whatever being with you was and I wouldn’t change my mind. I don’t wanna see you sitting in jail, I don’t wanna see Pope sitting in jail either, but I definitely don’t have any regrets or wish we weren’t dating or something.”  
“When you went back in Heyward’s I thought it was over.” He admitted, remembering the feeling, like a weight settling itself on his chest and cracking it open.  
“I just went in for my phone. I wanted my dad to get down there before Shoupe could call your dad. I was freaked that he’d do something.”
“I can handle him.” He lied.
���JJ.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He sighed.
You frowned, stepping closer to him and wrapping your arms around his waist to hug him. Just hearing him say something so self-deprecating made you ache. “You deserve everything.”  
JJ kissed the side of your head, closing his eyes, “...not how I wanted my first meeting with your dad to go though, I’m sure he already thinks I’m a loser.” JJ replied.  
“He doesn’t. I swear. If he had any doubts he wouldn’t have been there. Besides...Topper’s a dick and he totally deserves whatever alleged thing happened.” You said, trying not to laugh.
“Hey you think your dad can get the video?” JJ asked, “Shoupe said there was video surveillance and I’m dying to see it.”  
-
taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @tiredfeels @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @wldflwrskyee   @ssprayberrythings @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @spencer-reid-is-a-cutie @mirjanak @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @celestialmaybank @aoba-josigh @pineappleandcherries @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @balletandyuzu @oh-annaa @aiifandomsunite @x-lulu @ceruleanjj @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @allie-mcginn @pcterparxer @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts @copper-boom @talksoprettyjjx @5am-cigarette @smiithys @dontjinx-it @outerbanksbro @mysticsthinking @heavenlymama @louisolos  @rudy-pankow-needs-an-oscar @babymatilda @raekenliar @lemur46 @under-a-canyon-moon @calums-betch @dpaccione @jolomez @summerkaulitz 
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honey-0tu · 3 years
Text
Ok so I see you guys out there shipping Zoe with Luka or Marinette or Alix but I raise you: Zoe and Fei Wu- WAIT NO HEAR ME OUT OKAY-
Partly this is projection because I see a lot of my younger self in Zoe and I had a lot of online friends who helped me out while I was bullied in school and while I was moving countries.
My headcanon is that Fei and Zoe became online friends while Zoe was in school in NYC and over the course of time, they admitted liking each other romantically but they don’t really properly date or anything, they’re just a pair of kiddos who know they like each other and that’s enough for them. Continued under the cut because this headcanon is a bit long - more like an AU, whoops! :’)
Zoe’s birthday is coming up and Fei wants to get her something as a surprise but can’t decide. Zoe’s been sharing some fashion ideas though which she wants to dress like but she’s worried about whether her classmates would find her preference for loud colors weird. Plus, as a boarding school, she has a uniform anyway. Fei finds a pair of plain-ish canvas shoes though and paints them and writes the I <3 U on the toe.
She sends them over and Zoe is over the moon excited and happy, her excitement makes her overlook her nervousness about what her classmates might think so she wears them through the school day after she receives them. One of her friends asks her who got them for her and Fei stumbles over what to call Fei. Saying ‘a friend’ sounds too light, if she says ‘best friend’ maybe the girls will get offended that they haven’t heard about her before. Before she can think much harder about it, she says ‘my girlfriend.’ The bullying starts to get worse, prompting Zoe to move to Paris. The cycle starts again, Zoe tries to fit into what Chloe wants her to be, she won’t make the same mistake again. But Marinette’s remark about her shoes sticks with her.
Every night, Fei and Zoe video call, Fei’s been more available since she found someone to live with and she’s seemed happier too. Fei excitedly tells her about her day working in the shop with Uncle and Zoe is happy for her - really! But when Fei asks her about how her day was, she just starts crying. She can’t stop apologizing for bringing down the mood but Fei reassures her and they talk it out. Fei motivates Zoe to be herself and stop letting Chloe walk over her - that she knows some wonderful people in Paris and she can get in touch with them to hang out with Zoe but Zoe cuts her off, she wants to be able to do this on her own.
The episode’s events take place woo~ One day, Marinette invites Zoe to an all-girls sleepover and Zoe is excited but then internally panics a little and stutters out that she has a girlfriend, worried that she would make everyone uncomfortable but Marinette just giggles and says that Rose and Juleka are dating and will be at the sleepover too and no one would be weird about her.
Zoe, relieved, accepts Marinette’s invite. At the sleepover during truth and dare, Alya asks Zoe if she had dated anyone back in NYC and Zoe stutters out her explanation that she has a long-distance girlfriend and the next person who gets to ask Zoe a questions asks her to tell them about her girlfriend and Zoe mentions Fei’s name and Marinette just GLOWS with excitement and grabs her phone. She snaps a quick selfie with Zoe, causing a photo of a very bewildered Zoe cheek-to-cheek with an ecstatic Marinette. Zoe asks what that was about and Marinette just laughs and says to wait a couple minutes and she’ll show her why. A few minutes later in the game, Marinette’s phone starts ringing for video call and Marinette accepts the call with a giant grin. Fei’s voice yells through the phone: “WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND HER- I CANT BELIEVE YOU GOT TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND IN PERSON BEFORE ME!!” Marinette is just crying with laughter while handing the phone over to Zoe and everyone clambers around Zoe to say hi to Fei while Marinette is gasping for air from laughing while Alya is giggling next to her.
The next night during Zoe’s video call with Fei, Fei remarks on how happy Zoe looked during that sleepover call. That reminds Zoe, “wait- what did Marinette send you?” Fei laughs and sends a screenshot of Marinette’s text, just the selfie along with ‘this urs?’ Turns out, Marinette had heard Fei talk about having a girlfriend but Fei hadn’t mentioned Zoe by name but when Zoe mentioned Fei by name at the sleepover, it pieced together in Marinette’s mind, Zoe slipped perfectly into the stories which Fei had told Marinette.
Fei Wu visits Paris on Marinette’s uncle’s trip and Zoe comes with the Dupain-Cheng family to pick Fei up from the airport - cue those adorable videos of long-distance couples meeting in-person for the first time! <3
Okay this was longer than I expected it to be but I hope I can someone drag someone into this absolute rarepair with me lol
Oh also Zoe getting a dyed stripe in her hair to match with her gf <3
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isshebreathing · 3 years
Text
I had an unexpected weekend off and it’s too hot to be outside today, so five stories in one weekend is too much for me to catch up with. Thanks everyone for your positive response so far, I’ll definitely keep working on them.
If you are triggered by dark stuff and death fantasy you can skip part 2 and come straight to part 3 without missing anything.
Chronic Asthma Part 3
We were over staffed at the hospital so I volunteered to leave. I had been working so much that my girlfriend Emily and I were like ships passing in the night. She would have just gotten home from her bar tending shift and we could eat dinner in bed then fall asleep watching a reality show like a normal couple would. Emily has a bachelor’s degree in fine art, but she still bartends because it pays more money. I’ve always felt guilty about that, once I was done with med school I would be able to make more money and she wouldn’t have to work. She could tell the men who made passes at her to fuck off without fear of losing precious tips or worse yet, her job.
“Coming home early” I texted “dinner and tv?”
I didn’t get a response
“???????” I sent.
She might have been in bed, when I called her this evening she sounded tired and short of breath, she said she had been running to catch something.
The thought crossed my mind that Emily was not okay. She had had chronic asthma since she was a child as a result of the poor air quality in the Appalachian town she was raised in. Sometimes late at night I would feel her start awake and I knew she was having a nightmare of one of the two times she had stopped breathing entirely in her life.
I pushed the thought out of my head, Emily had always accused me of overthinking things and turning them into a medical crisis, it was a side effect of seven years of med school I guessed.
I sent another text “Fast food tacos?”
I got no response, “she’s probably in the shower,” I said to myself.
My anxiety didn’t fade though, I thought we had food at home we could make. I ordered a car on my phone to shorten the 45 minutes the train would have taken. I tried to get the thought of my girlfriend struggling to breath on the floor out of my head and tried to replace it with the pleasant warmth and surprise I’d see on her face when I came home early for an unexpected date night.
I bounded up the stairs and opened our door, I was surprised that our cat Walter didn’t come to greet me, he must have been confused by my shortened day.
The kitchen and living room and hallway lights were on, and I could see that our bedroom light was on too, but the shower wasn’t running. “Babe, you left the lights on again,” I said frustratedly expecting her to say “don’t mock my fear of the dark” jokingly in reply but I didn’t hear anything.
“Babe?” I said again with no response.
“Emily?” I said louder, now making my way down the hallway.
I turned into our room and saw my worst fears realized, Emily was laying in the fetal position on the floor, face turned gray, inhaler and nebulizer scattered around her. She had an asthma attack that turned into a breathing crisis, she was in respiratory arrest in front of me.
I rushed over to her and put my face close to hers, “Emily,” I said again trying to shake her awake. She looked into my eyes for a brief moment before they rolled back in her head and fluttered closed. I put two fingers under her chin and felt her heart sputter to a stop, she was in full arrest now.
I saw her cell phone on the floor next to the handset I insisted on keeping because 911 services could better trace your address on a landline. I picked up the handset and realized it was already connected. “Ma’am? Ma’am can you hear me? Help is on the way” a dispatcher says calmly on the other end of the phone.
“Yes, I just walked in and my girlfriend is in full arrest, I’m a doctor, I need an ambulance.”
The dispatcher responds but I don’t care what they say. I lay Emily flat on her back and rip off her fitted bar t-shirt. I grab the knife from my pocket and slice off her bra, exposing her graying chest as her large breast flopped to each side. I started compressions and yelled “Emily you have to come back okay.”
Her lifeless body lay unresponsive, rocking inward as I pounded on her chest, “and ten and eleven and twelve” I push away any thoughts of arousal that I feel from her naked body needing me to pump it’s heart for her. “And twenty-seven, and twenty-eight, and twenty-nine, and thirty” I move up towards her head and tilt it back, I try to give her a puff of air, her cheeks puff out but her chest lays still.
I realize her airway is completely blocked and run to get the medical bag I keep in my closet, I pour iodine on her throat and place my knee on her forehead to stabilize her.
I have seen this procedure done in the real world twice, once on a training video and once in my ER rotation, I have never actually done the procedure. My mind goes into a trance, I am no longer a frantic girlfriend I am a medical professional performing a medical routine. I grab a scalpel and make a small slice in the skin of her throat covering her trachea, I make a few more careful slices though skin and fat and muscle taking care not to slice too deep. I take some gauze and soak up the blood as I find the trachea. I put a small slice in the organ and mucus and blood immediately start coming up, I place my two fingers into the hole so I don’t lose it and grab one of the clear plastic tubes I had set out for the procedure, I slip the tube into her trachea as a sickening gurgle lets out all of the fluid that had been stuck in her airway. I snapped on a breathing tube and an ambu bag. I began to breathe for her. Her chest rising each time I squeezed breath into her.
The adrenaline of the initial crisis was fading fast. I was trying to do compressions with one hand and respirations with the other. Emily had told me horror stories about air hunger and how terrifying it was, I needed to help her heart beat and also keep air going to her lungs.
I started to panic because I didn’t know what to do next, do I just keep her partially alive until help comes? How long could she stay this way?
I choked down my panic as the EMT’s rushed in, and took over, I was surprised how aroused I was seeing a man forcefully pump my girlfriends chest while someone else squeezes a bulb to breathe for her.
I snap back into the present as the third medic is asking me questions. “She’s 28 years old, she has a history of asthma, no known history of a heart condition…..”
My mind trails off as the severity of what is happening hits me, I lose my composure and start to sob and I begged, “Emily please stay here with me, please stay alive,”
I watch the scene unfold as the paramedics put two white pads on Emily’s chest, one between her breasts and one On her side. I lose all medical knowledge as I watch a surge of electricity shoot through her body contorting it in an unnatural horror. The shock does nothing, the v-fib that the drugs gave her has turned into a flatline.
I watch in horror as the slip a board under her to raise her chest more, making her large and graying breasts fall further to the side, they snap a machine over her and turn it on, the machine makes an unnatural squeaking noise as it beats on her chest 100 times a minute.
I forget that I am a doctor, I forget my medical training, this isn’t a case in front of me this is the woman I love.
“Are you hurting her?” I ask as the machine pounds into her over and over and over again.
“We need to beat her heart for her,” the paramedic replies.
For a moment I think it’s too much, her hands are strapped to the side of the machine that is violently pounding her chest, making her shoulders shift inwards, her belly bulge, and feet rock inward with each compression pounding into her battered body. A tube sticks unnaturally out of her mouth attached to a blue bulb that someone has to squeeze to make her chest rise with breath. “It’s too much to expect her body to take this to stay.” I think, but thought of living without her snaps me back to reality. I am almost a doctor, a medical professional, I will do anything it takes to keep my girlfriend alive even if it’s with machines.
They load her into the back of the ambulance and despite my protests make me sit in the front with the driver.
I text my colleague in the ER, “headed in with Emily, bad asthma attack to full arrest, get prepped to start life support. I can’t lose her”
“Oh god Jen, we will do whatever it takes” she replies.
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