#it's so hard to remember anything ive ever written as soon as im asked a question about it

[shastafirecracker]

4, 6, 17, 20?

oooh well this got long so I'll do a break to save everyone's dashes

4 a sentence or paragraph that you’re proud of oh man, I’m proud of a lot of what I’ve written, especially lately. I feel like a lot of the stuff that hits hardest only hits right within its larger context. I love a sucker punch sentence after a long, slow buildup. I was really happy with the bit with Nick walking into the lake at the end of “don’t stop if I fall”:

It felt so strange, but also like a need as primal as human touch being met for the first time after an eon of starvation. His whole body was a raw burn and the water that rose up around him was a cool compress. His hands, cracked and callused from a lifetime of abuse, drank up the moisture and grew soft. He kept walking.

I mean, how bizarre would it feel to have never been submerged in water? if your only contact with water had ever been via sinks and showers and maybe a tepid, cramped bath?

I’m really proud of a lot of my comedy moments, too. I think my comedic pacing and timing has gotten better over the years and I’ve always loved to write banter. But I think I’ve gotten better at structural comedy via the narrative also, not just funny dialogue, particularly for characters who would not say funny dialogue - like in “I’ve seen all the demons that you got”:

Vash came back into the shop stinking of cigarettes[…] Knives sprayed him with air freshener and retreated to his office while Vash spluttered. […] he told Vash where he was going, and Vash's eyebrows did a little dance. Knives was sorry he didn't still have the can of air freshener.

6 what character do you have the most fun writing? ok there’s recency bias happening here obviously, but I fucking love writing Zazie. they’re so fun. y'all won’t know why I’ve had so much fun with them until November but it’s just refreshing to write a chaos gremlin who doesn’t have baggage, lol.

17 do you think that readers perceive your work differently to you? what do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or motivations? until fairly recently I would have said that readers would be surprised to know that I’m asexual but then I found out that apparently aces who write smut are, like, the backbone of society XD but seriously, my go-to answer for “why does someone who doesn’t want to have sex write about sex” is just why would someone who doesn’t want to go to space write about going to space. why would someone who doesn’t want to commit a murder write a murder. stares directly at the stupidly massive quantity of speculative fiction ever written and then looks into the camera.

other than that uhhhh I have no idea? a few times I have had readers leave reviews like “oh wow, you must have experienced [thing] because you describe it so accurately” and I take that as a huge compliment because it means I’m a very good study of human character and psychology. but no, to those specific commenters in the past, I have not been a member of a cult, grown up on a farm and/or killed chickens to cook, nor had any transcendent group sex. thanks for thinking my life is that exciting tho! <3

20 tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble about (symbolism, character or relationship development, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes) ok there’s a big one in the big bang fic that I can’t talk about yet but I HOPE people see what I did there. and are just like “I see what you did there”

yes I love these!!! generally it’s wordplay or symbolic references that I just don’t know if anyone picked up on because no one said it in any comments… argh I’m struggling to think of a lot right now but in “I’ve seen all the demons that you’ve got” I really hoped that when I used the phrase “dose makes the poison” that people connected that all the way through Knives’ past work refining ricin and him having been dosed with ketamine (which is, like, a legitimate and important medication but the dosage is SO important)… ummmm also in “don’t stop if I fall” there’s just so many. I hope people grokked every usage of the lyric that the title came from - every time the words “don’t stop” were used in that fic it was very deliberate (including the extremely dubious consent sex scene).

one small one in that same fic that I hope someone/anyone caught was this sentence: “He remembered this ground like an old friend, this stained glass landscape.” because Wolfwood remembers the grounds of the orphanage as stained (with his own blood, with the attempts to water the seedlings when he was a kid), and because the ground is glass (sand, silicate) and therefore contains no nutrients, and because of the obvious religious connotation (but which doubles back on the other two as meaning, you know, a bright thing with no substance). I was happy with that sentence.

a bit of a character note that I cling to at all costs is that if I’m writing something post-canon, any version of canon, even my own AUs’ iterations of “canon,” then Vash WILL miss Knives and grieve him constantly. and he’ll feel a lot of guilt about feeling like he shouldn’t grieve Knives, shouldn’t be allowed to feel grief because Knives was so “evil” and Vash “won” and blah blah blah, and that every time someone celebrates the world not ending it is another twist to the knife in his guts. look up pyrrhic victory in the dictionary there’s a mugshot of vash. it just matters to me to always be clear that vash is not actually okay with how it all shook out in the end.

#sf writes #it's so hard to remember anything ive ever written as soon as im asked a question about it #oops #lohikaar #writer ask meme

[jemmo]

ive been getting super frustrated with having no time or energy to write (or really do anything) recently so im just gonna start posting snippets of stuff ive half written to try and make up for it.

speaking of which, here’s a little thing i wrote after going to a women’s football game and instantly wanting to write an inkpa football au.

————————

“Pat’s gonna study engineering.”

“Pat’s gonna take over the family business.”

“Pat’s gonna be just like his dad.”

Pa remembers hearing these sentiments as soon as she was old enough to understand what they meant. Pat was the eldest, the prodigal son. He would tread in his father’s footsteps and carry the family name, and bring respect to it. There was no doubt about it, his life was set.

No one ever told Pa what she was going to be.

She never liked that as a kid. It seemed so easy for Pat, everything laid out in front of him, future already decided. He didn’t have to do any of this annoying thinking or discovery, didn’t have to huff and hum when teachers asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. He already knew.

“Am I going to be like you then, Ma?” she onced asked.

“No darling, you can be anything you want to be.” Ma replied, which Pa was kind of glad of. She loved Ma, but staying at home and doing all the housework and sometimes helping out Papa with the business did seem a bit boring. But at the same time, at least it was something. ‘Anything’ was a bit scary when you were 5 years old, especially when everyone was too busy setting Pat up for success to tell her how to figure out what that ‘thing’ was.

Instead of going to any of the clubs she thought could be interesting, she followed along after Pat wherever Papa sent him. Boxing, Judo, Tennis, Piano, Guitar, plus all the extra academic classes, she did them all too. She was only a year younger than Pat anyway, so it made sense, and meant Papa only had to make one trip after school. She might have been upset that they never went to the clubs she wanted to go to, if only she was passionate enough about a club to care.

But then Papa took them to football practice. It was a drizzly afternoon early in the year, but not early enough to stop the humidity from hanging heavy in the air. Pa hated storm seasons, and hated even more being outside in them. The ground was slippery with wet mud that splattered up her fresh, white knee socks, and the hair that escaped her ponytail clung to the sides of her face. Her least favourite part was the way raindrops splattered on her glasses like the windscreen of a car, except she didn’t have any wipers so she couldn’t just flick a lever and magically see again, but that would only be an issue if she was wearing her glasses. Papa had told her to take them off before practice, because he didn’t want a football to the face smashing them to pieces (he failed to mention how that would also smash Pa’s face to pieces), but it meant either way she couldn’t see all that well. Around her were about a dozen other girls who either looked way too into it or like they’d rather be anywhere else, there was no middle ground. They’d been plopped on the field haphazardly in their green and yellow bibs, with only a quick briefing of the rules to Pa before she was put centerfield. The shouts and roars from the boys team on the other side of the field carried over to them to fill their silence until finally the whistle blew.

Then everyone started to move and a ball was kicked at her and the coach was screaming at her to run, so she did. She sprinted down the pitch, kicking the ball in front of her, shooting past teammates and defenders alike until the goal was in front of her. Calls of “Shoot” made it through the rush of air and adrenaline in her ears, so she booted the ball as hard as she could, hard enough to make her lose her balance and land with a yelp on her backside, her hands and the backs of her legs covered in wet mud. She cursed herself as she wiped her hands on her sides with a grimace, looking up to see the ball sitting unassumingly in the goalie’s net. The world came to and people were running towards her with screams and cheers, even the coach asking if she was alright through a surprised smile. Everyone was helping her up and patting her on the back but all she could keep looking at was the ball in the goal. She’d done it. She’d actually scored. She was sodden and dirty and cold but she’d scored. She’d never been so happy in her life.

#I’m just so exhausted at the moment and have so much going on #that damn I miss being creative and having thoughts yknow like remember a time when my brain wasn’t mush????? bc I don’t #anyway this is so beloved to me and I wished I could flesh this out but yeah #pa as a kickass female footballer the woman you are #bad buddy #inkpa

[7wanderingpaws]

Mess We Made - fourth/last (m)

(gif not mine)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, angst, fluff

Words: 7.5K

WARNINGS: language, mentions of blood, mature content, cheating (not bbh)

Quick A/N: Hiii! Im gonna hide... Ive never written sth like this omg. (pls let me know your thoughts). This is the final part so I feel accomplished I wrote such long chapters in such a short time >< 

tags: @byunfirstlady @blackon @puppyeoliepop @in3vitably3v3​ @mangobaek @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @exortedgoods @gureuma (if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

parts: first – second – third -- fourth (last)

masterlist

.

Mess We Made, last part

“What the hell did you think you were doing in the hospital?” you attacked him as soon as you arrived home after two days.

Frankly Minheob didn’t come to visit you anymore although you overheard some nurses gossiping that he went several times to the doctor’s office and had a chat with doctor Kim. As much as you wished to know why he would go the great lengths to try to tie you down, you also couldn’t care less as long as he didn’t come and see you.

Minheob frowned at you as he watched you cradle Hayeon. “Do you think I don’t know?”

“Don’t know what?”

He stepped closer to you and you wanted to move backwards but the baby’s crib was behind you, successfully caging you in. He grinned nastily. “Well, you really are so clueless. As soon as I found out your lover is also in that hospital, I rushed in to get you. You doing miscarriage and daring to cheat on me at the same time?” He scoffed. “That is unheard of.”

Your heart rate sped up at his words. There was no way you cheated on him. Baekhyun did come several times to check up on you, sometimes you even swore he was there while you were sleeping and felt something soft brushing your cheek, but you never did anything more than what a doctor and a patient would do. Did Minheob know about Baekhyun? If he did then how did he find out?

Minheob laughed out loud at your shocked expression, and reached out to caress Hayeon’s hair but you moved her away from his touch. “She is my daughter too, you know.”

“How dare you accuse me of cheating on you,” you muttered sternly, trying to keep your voice down so as not to trigger the baby.

“Well, then let me put you into perspective because the past year you’ve been amazingly oblivious.” He made a dramatic pause and you almost lost all your wits. He took a deep breath and like a snake, licked his lips in mischief. “How many times have you moaned his name when you were coming, huh?” he whispered, carefully watching you from up close. “How many times have you thought it was him instead of me? You were so full of him while in bed with me... What made you ever think I wouldn’t find out that you still kept in touch with him?”

Blood drained from your face and you knew you were done for. And Baekhyun too. Your stupid mistake would bring him into this huge mess that you created again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you dared to lie through gritted teeth and hugged your baby even tighter. “Nor do I care what your twisted mind came up with, Minheob.”

He laughed, stepping away from you. “So this is the way you want to act? I will gladly moan out his name for you, maybe then you would remember?” he asked with a low tone.

You started walking towards the kitchen, deciding to mix the baby formula so that Hayeon could eat. You were not breastfeeding her, you only did so for two weeks before you gave up. Your breasts took too long to bring out the milk and even if they did, it was bloody. Another reason to be miserable. You couldn’t even feed your child.

“Stop pretending you didn’t hear me,” snickered your husband and grabbed your wrist, yanking you back to him.

You gasped, holding Hayeon tighter. “I didn’t cheat on you!”

“I don’t give a fuck whether you did or not! You just stayed in hospital for two days for nothing because he wanted you there!”

When you opened your mouth to retort something, he muttered: “Baekhyun wanted to keep you there for himself, didn’t he? Good way to make use of you,” he snarled. “A woman that lost her child. He could still fuck you over-“

Your hand flew out before you could think twice, landing a stinking slap on Minheob’s face. “Get him out of your filthy mouth,” you muttered lowly, sending him death glares. Minheob was shocked just for a moment before he was about to rebuke, but you beat him to it: “Baekhyun has nothing to do with me. Stop blaming innocent people-“

“I cannot believe you had me fooled! I had his best friend stalked to make sure he wouldn’t make moves on you, the Park Chanyeol kid, and then it was the fucking doctor the whole time!” he shouted but you didn’t flinch, only proudly noted how his cheek was becoming redder with each passing second.

“I never fooled you,” you answered, “it’s you who does the dirty job. Leave Baekhyun alone.”

“I can see how angry you are becoming. Protecting your secret lover.”

“He is not my secret lover.”

“I can see the way you are looking at me right now. You hate even the idea of me saying his name, don’t you? You hate your entire family for making you marry me when you could have him-“

“Enough.”

“But you’re stuck with me and he will most probably find another woman-“

“I said enough!” you screamed loudly, successfully making Hayeon cry in your arms while your husband had a victorious smile on his face. He paused for a moment and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Turning away from you, he said: “Good luck taking care of that weeping machine. It’s annoying. I’ll be out.”

When you heard the door slam, you felt your cheeks burning up with anger while the tears you didn’t know you were keeping in, spilled. Quickly shushing Hayeon, you went over to grab the formula as you originally wanted to, while sniffing.

“C‘mon, Hayeon, don’t cry,” you tried gently but she was relentless.

You didn’t want her to be scarred by the toxic relationship you had with her father. Everyday you tried your best to be good for her and make her happy so that she would grow up well. But having Minheob breathing down your neck was making it hard.

It was almost one hour later, Hayeon still slowly sucking on the milk from her bottle while you had the big TV turned on with a comedy show when the doorbell rang.

Sighing tiredly, you walked over to the intercom to check the camera, and your heartbeat sped up when you noticed Baekhyun’s profile as he was waiting for you to let him in.

What the hell was he doing here? He shouldn’t be here!

Despite your racing thoughts, you let him in and walked over to the doors with Hayeon in your arms. She was tapping on your chest with her small hands as she was looking at you with huge eyes.

You were cooing to her softly, hoping it would ease your nerves. And it did. You didn’t hear Baekhyun approaching, only realizing his presence when he was two meters from you, casually leaning his shoulder against the wall, his arms pushed in his dark-blue jeans, and observing you with a warm, gentle smile. It made your heart skip a beat.

“Baekhyun,” you breathed and he lazily stretched his lips before walking over to you, standing a tad too close as he was looking down at your daughter.

“Being a mother really suits you,” he murmured softly, looking up to catch you staring.

Quickly recovering, you blurted: “You shouldn’t be here, Baek. I’m not sure when my husband will be back-“

“He won’t be coming for a while, don’t worry,” he replied calmly.

You frowned. “Did he go after you?” Just the idea made you dizzy with worry.

Baekhyun chuckled, taking in your expression. “No, but he is with doctor Kim.”

You frowned.

“Won’t you let me in?”

“Ah, right,” you stammered and moved aside, letting him in. You weren’t sure you wanted him to see the place you’d been living in with another man that wasn’t him. Baekhyun looked out of place as you followed him to the spacious living room. “Please, sit down. What can I get you?”

He did as you asked and looked at you with expectant eyes. He smiled sheepishly. “This is probably too much but… do you maybe have wine?”

“I do but… aren’t you driving?”

“My brother will come and pick me up. He is nearby doing some business.”

You nodded. “I’ll have a glass with you, too. Just let me put her-“

“I can hold her,” he offered smoothly which made you stop. “Only if you don’t mind. I’ve held quite a few babies,” he grinned proudly.

Smiling, you gladly handed him Hayeon and gave him her little bottle. You realized you were too close because when you glanced up, Baekhyun’s nose almost brushed yours. Pulling away, you turned to go when he asked: “Aren’t you breastfeeding? You shouldn’t drink.”

Preparing two wine glasses, you told him you weren’t. He was silent and when you came out with the glasses and two kinds of bottles he looked up at you holding the options up for him.

“Red,” he said with a smile.

You nodded and poured the both of you a glass and faced him. Humming, you noted: “Being with a baby suits you.”

He smiled knowingly. “Oh, yeah? Well… this one looks a lot like you, to be honest.” He gave a loving caress to Hayeon’s head and you felt your heart squeezing painfully.

“Luckily.” You cleared your throat. “What brings you here?”

Baekhyun cooed at Hayeon a little bit longer before he murmured, catching your eyes. “I was worried… he would do something to you.”

“But you never cared before.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

You bit your lip. “Why is he with doctor Kim again?”

Baekhyun pressed his lips for a moment, thinking over your question. “He is…” he let out a perplexed laugh, as if unsure what to say, “I don’t know how to put it in words.”

Baekhyun earned your full attention now. “What do you mean?”

“He is in love with doctor Kim.”

Your mouth fell open, the news catching you off guard. “H-he what?”

“Shh,” he shushed gently like he always did with you, and nodded towards Hayeon who was drifting off to sleep in his arms. Your heart squeezed painfully once again, the sight was bittersweet. Your child in his arms. “I found out today too. He had been visiting her for a long time. Turns out they have known each other since high school.”

That sounded awfully familiar. “And now he is trying to get her?”

Baekhyun shrugged once and looked down at Hayeon, her eyes peacefully closed but still diligently sucking on the last droplets of milk. “Maybe?”

“And here I thought he went there to stalk me.”

He turned his head towards you. “Does it matter whether he actually wants doctor Kim?” he asked quietly, the unvoiced actual question palpable in his voice. Do you love your husband enough to be hurt that he wants another woman?

“I feel sorry for her,” was your blunt answer. “But if that means he will change I wish he would ditch me.” You looked Baekhyun in the eyes. “I’ve been wanting this whole nightmare to end for two years, Baekhyun. Two years of being completely helpless, not even able to see you properly. I want him to ditch me and I want to be with you.”

He was listening to you carefully, his eyes sometimes drifting to your lips and the way they shaped when you pronounced some words. “If I told you I have someone else…”

Within seconds your eyes burned up in despair. “No, you don’t.”

Without an answer, he was looking at you; observing the way your cheeks became red along with your nose while your eyes were full of unshed tears. You were so beautiful even after miscarriage. You were ethereal in his eyes even though he just made you cry. Now that Baekhyun thought about it, he didn't remember the last time he saw a genuine smile on your face; it was always either a tired, insincere smile or crying. If he only saw you like that, how many times must have you cried when he wasn't there?

“Please don’t tell me you have someone else,” you whispered when he wouldn't answer.

“It's only natural I would find someone else,” he reasoned matter-of-factly but in a gentle tone so as not to upset you.

“And you came here to tell me this?”

Baekhyun was helpless. He knew your jealousy could be blinding, but he thought with time it would simmer down. “I didn't come here to talk about my private life-”

You snorted sarcastically. “Right. Your private life is how we call it now?” You reached out for sleeping Hayeon and took her into your arms. Without a word you walked to the bedroom. In case you would become even more emotional, you didn't want her to wake. You heard Baekhyun shuffling after you, a conflicting gaze following your every more.

He waited by the door, silently watching you putting Hayeon into her crib. With teary eyes, you observed your daughter a little longer, thinking how wrong everything was at that moment before facing your guest.

Baekhyun didn't move when you closed the door behind you, instead he took hold of your wrist to make you look at him. “I'm sorry. It all came out so wrong.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” you said evenly. “It's your private life and it's none of my business. Which means you may go. Now that you made sure I wasn't dying on the bedroom floor - because you really care about my well-being - it's time to leave.”

Baekyhun was slowly losing his patience. “Stop acting so freaking stubborn.”

More tears welled up in your eyes. “You are right. So leave. I want to be alone.”

He sighed when you tried to push his hand away. “Sweethea-” he stopped himself, biting quickly into his lower lip. Your heartbeat sped up but then he murmured your name softly and you deflated again. “I didn't mean I'm in a relationship.”

“Then what did you mean?” you pressed.

“I was with other women while I wasn't with you. That's all,” he replied truthfully. “I haven't been in a relationship ever since you left me.”

“But you slept with other women,” you finished.

He nodded, staring into your eyes with pure honesty. He had his heart on his sleeve for you, and you still couldn't help the boiling feelings of betrayal. Maybe it was because you were still recovering from the happenings of the past three days or maybe it was just the way you would always feel when Baekhyun was with another woman, be it romantically or purely physically.

“I still don't get why you are telling me this. I still don't understand why you had to come here now, out of all the times.”

“I want you back,” he whispered. “Even though it is impossible, I want you back. With everything you are.” Your breath hitched in your throat and your heart restarted its wild beating. “It's so fucking difficult to keep my hands off of you, to not touch you, to not be there for you when I know you don't have anyone else to turn to and share your burdens with. I know your asshole of a husband mistreats you with your entire family helping him out. I'm tired of it and if it means going against all the rules, then so be it.”

Hope was making your eyes come alive, he could see it. Even though they were teary, hope sparked through and Baekhyun felt relieved.

“Are you doing this now because you know Minheob has feelings for another woman?”

He was shocked. “W-what? No, it isn't about it-”

“Yes, you are,” you said, not even listening to him, “you wouldn't have come here if my husband wouldn't be seeing doctor Kim right now. Otherwise-”

“No, wait, listen to me-”

“You wouldn't fight for me if it weren't for-”

He murmured your name in warning. “Listen-”

“I can't believe you-”

“For Christ's sake just listen-”

“Make me.”

Baekhyun was furious. Both of you were staring down each other, both of you hurt and desperate. “Make me listen, Baekhyun,” you said again with a steely voice and he grabbed your face and crashed his lips on yours. You let out a moan, his lips so soft against yours despite the kiss being anything but soft. He cradled your face and you didn't waste time in bringing your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. You heard Baekhyun inhale sharply as he sucked on your lower lip before licking it, asking for entrance. He growled when you complied but would fight him for dominance. It was a game of push and pull and he pressed you against the wall next to the bedroom door; the room which you shared with someone that wasn't Baekhyun.

It was thrilling, exciting and you wanted more. Baekhyun tasted much sweeter than you could remember and there wasn't a chance that you'd get enough. When it came to him, it was never enough for you. Thirstily, you pressed your middle to his, causing him to grunt while he sucked on your tongue, his hands on your neck to angle your face for him. You could feel your lips were already swollen but you didn't care. Your hands were buried in his hair, messing it up, pulling on it as you wanted more. More, more, more. You wanted him to devour you, to take you and to never return you.

But it was still Baekhyun. This was unfair to him. And so he was the first one to disattach, pulling away from you slightly to press his forehead against yours while the both of you were panting. You looked at his lips, the way the skin around them was turning a gentle pink, his lips particularly red. God, you loved those lips and how cutely they were shaped.

He caressed your jaw with his thumb, bringing your attention up to his droopy eyes. “I love you,” he confessed.

Your throat went dry for a second. It was like reliving all your happy memories with him all over again. “I love you, too, Baekhyun,” you replied, making sure you were staring into his eyes.

A soft smile spread on his face and he leaned in to kiss you again but stopped just before his lower lip could touch your upper one. “We shouldn't do this, though. You are married, have a baby and it's not right.”

“You already kissed me,” you urged him, not sparing even a heartbeat to think about his words, “it won't make a difference if you do it one more time.” You raised yourself on your tiptoes and kissed him before he could retaliate. He moaned so subtly it almost made your knees buckle. His hands travelled souther, caressing your shoulders before they went to your back where he drew sensual circles, making you feel all sorts of inappropriate things. You dared to bring your hands to the hem of his shirt that was tucked into his jeans and pull it out, wanting to feel his skin under. He let out another moan when he felt your fingertips trailing the outline of his abs- wait, abs?

You pulled away. “Since when are you so ripped?” you breathed which made him chuckle. You lifted his shirt slightly to see that he had a freaking six-pack. Your mouth went agape, but you still felt Baekhyun's hand on the sliver of skin that showed between your jeans and shirt. He didn't dare to go further than that, though.

“Where else can I use my frustrations if not in the gym, hm,” he murmured in a low voice that made your insides squeeze with want.

You rested your head against the wall, looking at him with content. “I caused it all. I'm sorry.”

He sighed and stepped closer, one leg between yours as he cradled your cheek. “I knew from the start it would go like this, you know. Don't apologize.”

“I'm still sorry 'cause I never should have made you go through the things that me and my terrible family did.” You paused for a moment. “Let's start over, together,” you suggested eagerly. “Let's run away.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath. “You know that isn't possible, love.”

“It is,” you insisted, “of course it is. Let's just disappear and not let anyone know.”

“I have to make a living. And I love my job. You need to take care of your daughter as well.”

“So is that a no? Even if I get a divorce and a chance to start over… is that a no?” you asked quietly.

“Look, doctor Kim knows about us. She knows about our relationship because I couldn't focus whenever I knew you were in the clinic. My behavior gave me away and she is a great senior that understood me well. She was the one to tell me to come here and she called your husband over. I'm sure she is lecturing him.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, running his thumb over the naked skin of your hip. “I'm sure with time, we can slowly start over again, hm?” he prompted gently, tapping your skin a few times. “Time is all we need.”

“I have to wait more to have you?” You were being greedy. You knew you were. But you couldn't help yourself.

“We waited a long time for each other,” he breathed, “we can wait a little longer. Doctor Kim will help us.”

“Then kiss me one last time. To seal it,” you demanded. “As a promise that you will come back to me, Baekhyun.”

And Baekhyun did.

///

It had been weeks now that you found out about Minheob having feelings for the kind doctor Kim. You weren't sure if it was because you were aware of it, but Minheob seemed to become less interested in you overall. He didn't call you when you were busy with the shop, he didn't care if you came home a little later, and not once mentioned Baekhyun to you anymore. It was almost as if that argument never happened.

Even though that seemed to get better, you were still sour because Baekhyun kept the contact between you two quite limited even though he said he wanted you. Sometimes you would exchange texts, because you couldn't keep still; your need to know what he was doing, how he was doing and where he was, was stronger.

It could have been frustrating and maybe now you got a taste of how he must have been feeling the entire time after your break-up. You expecting him to be alone and wait for something to happen was so greedy it made you feel embarrassed. Of course he would have found a woman for pleasure.

You weren't disappointed; hurt maybe because you despised any idea of him being with another woman. After all, you wanted to be the only one to know how he was like in bed, how he would treat a woman after the love-making was done.

You groaned gently, the intruding thoughts not doing you any good. Plus, you were on your period. Maybe you shouldn't have thought about it too much. He confirmed he still loved you and that was all that mattered.

It was almost four months later, your relationship and communication with Minheob almost non-existent and Hayeon a curious toddler, when Minheob said a sentence you never thought you would hear:

“I want a divorce.”

You swiveled around from where you were sitting on the carpeted floor, watching over Hayeon while your tablet was sitting in your lap, going through the new lingerie sets that were supposed to arrive anytime soon. With it, finally, the “unlock, bbh” one as well.

“What?”

“You heard me,” he sighed, sitting on the sofa, emotionlessly looking at an ever-bright Hayeon. “I want to divorce you.”

You were silent, carefully thinking over what to reply next. Maybe you didn't seem as shocked to him as he would have expected you to, but he didn't care at that point.

“I am with another woman. And I want to become a better person for her.”

“I see…”

He rolled his eyes. “At least pretend like you're shocked.” “I am, Minheob. You never told me you are seeing someone else.”

“Just like you never told me you are cheating on me with that doctor of yours.”

“I never-” you started, offended, but all too quickly you remembered kissing Baekhyun in that very house. Minheob couldn't have known about that, though. “I didn't cheat on you. Not like that.”

He let out a dishonest laugh and looked away. “Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. I want it to be as soon as possible.”

“What about Hayeon? She is your daughter.” Minheob didn't care about Hayeon, you knew it. He barely ever tried to initiate anything with her, let alone ask if the baby was doing well.

“Yeah,” he rolled his eyes, “you couldn't even give me a boy. It had to be a daughter.”

You puckered your lips, trying hard not to pick a fight. “I'm sick and tired of you being a misogynistic prick,” you told him in a calm voice. “She is a healthy child and you should be fucking thankful.” You turned to look at Hayeon who was playing with huge baby-safe lego pieces. “I will raise her to become much more badass than any man ever will.”

“Sure, you will.” He was silent for a while. “I will try better. I will take care of my part on her behalf, of course. And the matter with your family - they are all to stay just as usual.”

Not turning to look at him, you hummed. “Good way to become a better person, Minheob.”

“I'll deal with all the paperwork. Let's get everything settled by next week. Since we both agree on divorce.”

Sudden eagerness ignited your hope to be with Baekhyun much earlier than you anticipated. Just the idea of it made you feel elevated.

“And about this house…”

You turned your head to look at your soon-to-be ex-husband. “I will leave with Hayeon, don't worry.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

///

You headed to Baekhyun's that evening. Packing up the baby bag for Hayeon, you put her in the baby carrier basket once you arrived. You knew his new address but not once you visited. Having Minheob as a husband had its perks after all; you could easily look into the employees' personal records.

Baekhyun lived in an upscale apartment building, typical for families that had money. It made you realize just how much he developed professionally.

Shushing Hayeon, you waited for Baekhyun to open the door and when he did, he still looked surprised, even after letting you in through the intercom. “Hi,” you smiled, “I came to talk.”

Baekhyun took you in, noting the sleeping toddler. “Sure, come in,” he said quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping child.

“Sorry for coming unannounced,” you muttered sheepishly, admiring the way he looked in simple grey joggers and a white shirt. 

Baekhyun stopped you from going further into his apartment. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“No,” you smiled softly, “I have some good news.”

Sitting close to each other, you talked for about two hours; about your future. About the current situation and about the way it all evolved. Baekhyun was surprised but you were relieved when you saw his eyes light up with the same hope that it did with yours. For amoment you were worried he wouldn't reciprocate the excitement but when he almost ducked to kiss you, you knew he still felt the same.

Your faces were so close, you could feel his breath on your cheek. “I was thinking about looking for an apartment…” you trailed off. “Maybe somewhere close to yours?”

“Silly,” sighed Baekhyun affectionately, “you'll come straight to my place.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you eyed his lips. “Are you sure? I will have Hayeon with me,” you admitted, not wanting to sound as sad as you actually felt. It made you sound like a bad mother and maybe just a little bit, you were. Hayeon was such a delight of a child, but she was Minheob's. Baekhyun didn't have anything to do with her and even though you loved her, it also made you mad that you didn't have a child with Baekhyun.

“You know I never had anything against Hayeon. She is innocent and too young. She is barely one, sweetheart. She is your child, how can I not love her?”

Baekhyun's words made your eyes snap up to meet his tender ones.

Slowly he lifted his hand, cradling your cheek. “She looks a lot like you, you know?”

You closed your eyes. “You already told me.”

“And I'm saying it again. She is gorgeous. I bet she will grow up into a beautiful lady just like her mother.”

You smiled, shaking your head gently as to not let his hand fall. “Will you help me raise her into a good and loving child?”

“Of course,” he breathed, his thumb wandering to your lower lip. “We will raise her together.”

Your smile grew wider, now opening your eyes. “I love you so much, Baekhyun. You really have no idea how perfect you are, do you?”

He smiled and leaned in, nudging your nose with his. “I would do anything just to see you smile like that again. I want to keep that smile on your face forever, baby.”

Electricity cursed through your veins. You leaned in, wanting to finally overcome the teasing distance between your lips but Baekhyun stopped you. “Hayeon is sleeping here.”

“She will sleep for a while now. She always sleeps the best after a car ride,” you muttered, still eyeing Baekhyun's lips.

He hummed, acknowledging your words. Then he grabbed your hand gently, intertwining your hands and made you stand up. Eagerly, you followed him to his bedroom and once he closed the door, you stared at each other for a moment before the both of you leaned in at the same time. Kissing each other passionately, he walked you towards his bed and sat down, making you straddle him.

You whimpered at the feel of his wandering hands. “You don't mind kissing me now?” you asked, wanting to be sure you weren't doing something that made him feel uncomfortable.

Baekhyun was looking up at you with huge eyes full of lust and love. The raw crave in his eyes was undeniable and it turned you on. “No. I should have just stolen you a long time ago.”

You giggled but he silenced you with another mind-blowing kiss. Letting him touch you everywhere, you found yourself needing air quickly and Baekhyun moved to your cheek, jaw and neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin. Your hands were messing up his before they found the way to his shirt, once again wanting to feel up his abs that contracted under your touch.

“I missed you so much,” groaned Baekhyun when he squeezed your backside as he licked your collarbones before biting. You hissed, but he didn’t stop.

“I missed you much more,” you breathed, closing your eyes in pleasure. “You have no idea how much.”

He hummed and grabbed the v-line of your shirt, yanking it down to show your bra. Hungrily, he attached his lips to the swell of your breast and you moaned loudly, burying your hand in his hair. “I missed these, too,” he muttered, making you chuckle.

When his other hand wandered south to your jeans, you grabbed his hand in alarm.

“B-Baekhyun, I’m on my period,” you breathed shakily, your arousal growing with each touch of his. Because of your stupid monthly issue you wouldn’t be able to enjoy Baekhyun but to your utter shock, he muttered:

“I don’t care.” With that, he hoisted you up in his arms, making you let out a silent squeal as he smiled and brought you to his private bathroom. “Unless you mind,” he added warily.

“No,” you shook your head quickly. “I crave you too much to care.”

The doors closed shut and you were pushed against them, his middle pressed to yours causing you to let out a wanton moan. He wasn’t even inside you but you felt like a bone shattering orgasm was on its way already.

“Fuck, I missed you so much,” he whispered urgently as he sucked on your neck, his other hand supporting you on your backside, and the other wandering inside your shirt.

Your hand was in his hair, grabbing on it, pushing his head into your chest needily. “Jesus, Baek, I need you. No teasing, god.”

This would be a first time for the both of you to be intimate while you were bleeding. As much as it was a little off-putting, neither of you built up the boundaries that seemed to be nonexistent in your relationship.

He grunted as he brought you to the shower stall and gently put you down on your wobbly legs. You were already taking off your shirt and jeans and he was mimicking you, desperate to finally feel each other’s skin. When the both of you were naked, Baekhyun stepped closer to you and reached behind you to turn on the shower.

The first wave had cold water which made you squeal and jump, attacking and hugging Baekhyun to yourself who caught you with a handsome laugh.

“I’ll make you all hot and bothered very soon, princess,” he murmured in your ear, his nose pressed to your hair as you felt his hand caress you over your stomach before he let it slide to your womanhood.

“Baek-“ you started quickly, sudden anxiety eating you away because you were bleeding.

“Shh, no words,” he said and brought his face back to yours, diving in to bite your lower lip. “Just our bodies talking.”

“But-“

“I said,” he pressed and just then he spread your womanhood, his middle finger teasing your lips and the sensitive bud before he quickly let it dive into your hole. Your knees buckled at the sensation and Baekhyun was fast to press you against the wall, letting the water wash away your blood and arousal from his hand.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he grumbled and pushed two fingers inside of you, humming when he watched you open your mouth in an airy moan, your eyes closed in pure ecstasy.

You were panting heavily and when you opened your eyes to look at your lover, you felt like your chest would combust with repressed emotions. You grabbed the back of his head and smashed your lips together, bringing out another pleasurable moan from Baekhyun. The vibration of his chest rang against yours, connecting two wildly beating hearts.

He scissored his fingers inside you, pumped you slowly, in and out, making sure you were well stretched out.

A whimper was what made Baekhyun pull away from the heated kiss. “Do you think you’re ready for me?” he asked in a low voice, his eyes full of affection, desire and lust.

You nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes, just get on with it.”

You reached for his member that had stood up proud in the meantime, keeping close eye contact with his owner. “Since we are doing it while I’m on my period, I can feel all of you,” you breathed as you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him again while you wrapped your hand around his shaft, spreading the pre-cum over the tip with your thumb, closely checking your partner for any reaction. “You can come inside of me.”

Baekhyun hissed and followed with a deep groan as his arm slid around your waist bringing you to him so he could rest his head in your neck. He left open-mouthed kisses lazily on your skin and he squeezed your body when you played with his balls. “Fuck!”

Without warning, he pushed your hand away. “Do you trust me?” he asked, his hands already trailing down your sides, his member pressed to your stomach.

“Always.”

“Then jump for me,” he whispered passionately and was fast to catch you, your legs around his waist and your center just on his manhood. “I will fuck your brains out.” He informed you and you could only plead for him to finally move on. And he did. With just his tip at your center had the both of you close your eyes and moan into each other’s mouths before he slowly pushed in.

“Ahh, yes,” you let out and wiggled in his grasp. Baekhyun hissed sharply biting your earlobe when he managed to slide almost all of him in. “Shit your slick.”

Both of you looked down to where you were connected to see the water wash away a chunk of blood. “Ready?” he asked gently. “Tell me immediately if somethings off.”

You smiled at him deliriously and nodded in confirmation.

Baekhyun started with a slow pace, his thrusts careful, making you feel every single inch of his member, every vein and plain. Being on your period made your womanhood extremely sensitive and aware of every single movement inside you which was the reason your forehead fell into his shoulder, a moan after moan leaving your mouth.

He took your passionate reaction as a yes to speed up, and he set a faster, stronger pace, sliding swiftly in and out of you, each fraction sending pleasurable waves through Baekhyun’s body.

“Fuck yes,” he groaned when he slammed harshly into you, aiming for your gspot, sliding you up the wet wall while you arched your back.

“Yes, Baekhyun, right there!” you screamed, the slight cramps in your lower abdomen wonderfully changing into a wave of ecstasy bringing you closer to the edge. 

“I know my woman well,” he hissed, watching your erotic face expressions with hooded eyes as he gave you another powerful thrust. “Only I know all your secret spots.”

“Yes, yes,” you gasped and leaned in, pushing your tongue into his mouth, your teeth clinking in the process as his length kept filling you up, stretching you so well he was touching your cervix. You felt another chunk of blood releasing and Baekhyun panted, your walls starting to pulse around him, telling him you were close. He quickly fumbled with his hand and brought it to your lower lips, massaging sensually with long fingers while he pounded into you, chasing now his own release as well. The buildup was almost unbearable. Just the idea of him taking you would send him to another world and the fact that he truly had you in his arms, you wrapped around him inside and outside made him release spurts and spurts of cum, his panting coming out in high-pitched moans just when you started to milk him.

You screamed loudly and Baekhyun was mouthing at your breasts hungrily, just as he always did when he was releasing. He gave your nipple a bite as he turned his thrusts into lazy hip-rollings, helping the both of you ride out your highs.

The shower was still fully on but it did little to no help to block out the sexual pants both of you were heaving out.

You locked eyes with Baekhyun’s and caught him smiling in satisfaction. “Kiss me,” he muttered and you gladly leaned in, humming when he licked his way inside, meeting your tongue for a small battle for dominance. You pressed against him, pushing his tongue aside, wanting to win but he whimpered and bit you which made you withdraw with a hiss. You separated with a loud smack. “Cheater,” you whispered in disbelief, your lips red and swollen.

“Am I now?” quirked Baekhyun, flirting, and let you down slowly, slipping out of you. He cradled your face and kissed you innocently as if to make up for the ruined kiss, enjoying the touch of your lips as the water was mixing in.

“That was fucking amazing,” you told him in bliss, hugging his neck. You brought his ear close to your mouth. “Let’s do it again.”

“Nobody said we were done, princess.” Baekhyun had a shit-eating grin when he trailed his fingers up your sides and gently groped your breasts that made you sigh in pleasure right away. Your nipples were already hard and aching but his touch made you feel like you were levitating.

“You’re so damn sensitive. Who knew sex during your period would be this much fun? You are so responsive to every single touch of mine,” he murmured sexily as he let the tip of his nose trail your cheek, darting his tongue out to lick on your skin.

You were aroused yet again and begging for him to resolve this issue.

“You aren't leaving my house tonight,” he told you as he brought his head back to look into your eyes. “I'll take care of you.”

///

2 years later

Baekhyun squeezed your hand with a huge smile as you were both sitting on the ground opposite his parents while Hayeon was running around, playing in Baekhyun's childhood room. A room that held so many memories that were dear to you.

“Sweetie, eat a little bit more,” prompted Baekhyun's mother lovingly. “You are bearing a boy. You need to make sure he comes out all sturdy and ready to face this world.”

You giggled, as you caressed your baby bump, Baekhyun joining you.

“She is quite sensitive, mum. I don't want her to throw up everything afterwards,” commented Baekhyun.

He was right. As painless as Hayeon's pregnancy was, this little boy inside of you was making you nauseous 24/7. You found it quite ironic how your family wanted you to bring a boy into the family when you were with Minheob, yet now, when you were with Baekhyun, it was a boy. It was more exciting because Baekhyun did the ultrasound and finding out the gender of your baby had its own magic when he was the doctor.

The past two years, everything was so different yet the same. Living with Baekhyun was perfect despite typical arguments. He was understanding and you were trying to be okay with his busy schedules at the clinic.

Baekhyun wanted you to settle in properly in his house along with Hayeon before you would start a family with him. Being careful in bed was not the most fun for you, as you always wanted to feel everything he could offer, but once the both of you gave each other the green, your life became much more exciting. You were eager to get pregnant with Baekhyun's child. Finally, the old, rusty dreams you had as a teenage girl could come true.

After hearing some rustling, you stood up. “I'm gonna check up on Hayeon,” you said and strolled over to Baekhyun's bedroom. “Hayeon,” you muttered, seeing her going through some old biology books. You laughed. “Out of all the things in this room, this is what caught your attention?” you asked her, and walked over.

“Mama, look!” she pointed at some drawings Baekhyun had in the corner of the page.

“Oh, what is that,” you faked excitement and then you looked properly. Decoding Baekhyun's terrible scribbles, you gasped quietly.

hottest chickkk in the entire school >< and shes mine woow

love is not as bad as guys make it out to be

because i love herrr

“The hell is this?” you murmured, not even noticing Baekhyun standing behind you.

He laughed loudly and you looked up at him in question. “Well, what do you think it is? It's about you, silly,” he said and crouched, hugging you from behind. “Many guys were crazy about you, yet I got you.”

You snorted a laugh. “Sure, half of the school envied me and the other hated me for being who I am,” you said, looking at his side profile.

“Ah, look at you talking and talking instead of kissing your gorgeous husband,” muttered Baekhyun playfully, letting his hands slide over the baby bump. In response, you kissed Baekhyun's cheek.

“No kissing daddy!” Hayeon complained.

Hearing Hayeon calling Baekhyun her father warmed your heart. “I can't kiss daddy?” She didn't respond, instead observing you and Baehyun. “Together?” you tried.

She grinned with her tiny teeth and Baekhyun laughed at her cuteness. “Come over, my little princess,” he opened his left arm, not letting go of you. Hayeon squealed, jumping straight at Baekhyun which made him grunt. Without waiting, she pressed her mouth to Baekhyun's cheek while Baekhyun turned to you with a mischievous glint. He pressed his lips to yours and you smiled widely.

“Love you three so much,” said gently Baekhyun, looking at you and Hayeon while caressing your bump.

“Love you more,” you whispered and stole another kiss before Hayeon could notice.

Even though not everything was perfect, you finally were together as you should have been since the start of the mess. With most of it being resolved, you were excited to face a brand new chapter with Baekhyun and with the family you created with him.

//

.END.

/// /// /// /// /// /// ///

A/N: Hi! If you read till now, THANK YOU SO MUCH. My first angsty-smutty story phew. I am red and I do need to take a break lol. >< I really hope you liked this story and that you are satisfied with the happy end. ^^ I am satisifed. On this blog I have rarely a bad-ending stories soooo... Yes!

Thank you, pretty please leave a comment (cc) to let me know your thoughts?

See you soon!

#exowritersnet #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun smut #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun #byun baekhyun #baekhyun story

[yongtxt]

hundred [johnny]

word count: 4.5k words

characters: boxer!johnny x doctor!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: blood/wound/stitches mentions, johnny hates hospitals but he likes the pretty doctor, [im not a doctor nor a boxer pls dont say that i have info wrong because I Know]

author’s note: i know this isnt long to some of u but to me it is and i havent written this much for so long im so proud of myself for finishing this:( it isnt that good but this is the first long fic ive written in a while and shhsdjk also i needed to get this out of my system ive thought about this au since that jcc came out where johnny and hyuck was doing muay thai plssss (i couldnt find a better gif tho) ok this is getting too long / feedback is appreciated tysm

Johnny Suh hated hospitals with a burning passion.

It wasn't from a past trauma nor was he afraid of it, it wasn't that serious. He wasn't exactly sure what the cause of it really was. If he had to make a guess, it was probably from the accumulation of the little things, the insignificant factors people would usually dismiss but bothered him enough that it contributed to the big hatred he built for hospitals.

Maybe it was the distinct smell of hospitals, it reeked of death and old people. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the fluorescent-lit hallways, always gloomy and heavy. Maybe it was also the fact that the fees were so expensive and yet the food they provide tasted horrible, even the coffee was a hit or miss. The only upside he could think of was people get better in hospitals, but even that wasn't assured.

Despite how much Johnny despised hospitals, he always finds himself coming back. If he wanted to get better, he had no choice but to go. He would endure the gruesome process over and over again whether it be to treat his wounds or to stitch his cuts.

With his jaw littered with small bruises and his lips busted at the corner, he sat impatiently on the hospital bed as he waited for his doctor. He was fiddling with his fingers, knuckles bruised the same way his face was. He looked beaten up, he always did.

The clothes he wore contradicted the state he was in, they were fresh and laid back. He looked like a college student from the way he dressed. A delinquent more like, if one considered his cuts and bruises. Before heading to the hospital, he always makes it a point to shower and make himself appear presentable to the public. Although no one really bothers to take notice of his effort, only him.

The sliding door opened and Johnny's attention shot up from his phone, his gaze meeting with yours. Your head popped in, peaking through the small crack you made. Your eyes lit up in recognition as it always did whenever you see him.

"Youngho-ssi?" You spoke almost as if it was a question, voice barely above a whisper to make sure you were in the correct room, about to tend the correct patient.

Johnny didn't understand why you always did that, call out his name as if this was the first time you were seeing him. At that point, you've been already acquainted with him enough due to his numerous trips to the hospital. Either way, he nods every time.

You gave him a small smile, widening the door enough so you could enter. You wore a white lab coat, a name tag pinned to your chest and a stethoscope hung around your neck. You were small, although anyone compared to him was bound to be comparatively smaller – that wasn't the point, you looked young and that never fails to astound him every time you go through the door.

You had a clipboard in your hands, scanning through what he assumed to be his condition that a nurse had written earlier after a quick checkup and disinfection of his open wound. Your lips were formed on a tight line, eyebrows furrowed. He continued to stare at you with such amusement.

"You don't have to answer my question, Youngho-ssi, but why are you always here?" You finally broke the silence, startling him in the slightest. You never bothered to ask before, always just offering smiles and small talks while you did your work; maybe his sudden regularity of coming to the hospital recently made your curiosity peaked.

He couldn't blame you. Anybody would be curious why a 24-year-old man keeps coming back to the hospital with no clear explanation.

He cleared his suddenly dry throat, he never liked saying his job. He said, "I box for a living."

"Ah, that makes sense!" Your eyes visibly glimmered, absentmindedly jotting down notes on his medical records. "My coworkers and I thought you were in a gang or something."

"I don't think I would be allowed to be here if I was." He chuckled, making you giggle as well.

"Seo Youngho, 24, minor lip laceration in need of immediate suture." You read of his data from the clipboard, almost comically. It was medical terms he was unfortunately already too familiar with, to him, it basically meant that he had a busted lip that needs to be sewed shut.

"You can just call me Johnny. Youngho sounds too formal to me." He said nonchalantly. You nodded your head to his simple request; it probably was best if you got to know him better since he frequented the hospital so much.

"Alright, Johnny. We'll start the process now, okay?"

With keen eyes, he watched you slip on a pair of surgical gloves. You grabbed a tissue from the metal tray that sat beside him and began folding it into squares. He felt his heartbeat quicken, he hated getting stitches or any form of medical treatments for that matter, but as morbid as it was, he thought of it as punishment for his recklessness in the ring.

"Isn't boxing just, I don't know, senseless violence?" You asked, tone dripping with pure innocence and unadulterated interest as you gently dabbed away the remaining dried blood the nurse failed to clean earlier.

"It's a sport, it's how I bring money to the table." He pursed his lips, ignoring the twinge of pain that surged through his nerves. He visibly relaxed when you placed a hand onto his shoulder to reassure him.

Ever since the first time you got assigned to him, the first thing he took note of was the softness of your hands. You handled him as if he was fragile glass, despite how he easily towered over you. He felt pathetic as a 24-year-old but your gentle touches would greatly help put him at ease.

"I guess. I didn't mean to be rude." You were hesitant, Johnny could tell but he was glad you didn't push on any further. He couldn't handle explaining his occupation when you were about to pierce his skin. "Okay, Johnny, now that your lip is clean and the anesthesia had seeped in, we'll start. I think you know how it goes by now."

"Make it quick, please." He nodded, squinting his eyes shut at the mere contact of a surgical pen grazing over his gaped lips. You were relieved that his cut wasn't too big, you couldn't stomach the idea of putting him in too much pain for longer.

As you picked up the tweezers and string of nylon, you couldn't help but laugh at the six-foot boxer in front of you who was clearly petrified of getting stitches, "This will be done as soon as you know it. You won't really feel it because of the anesthesia, remember? Now count to a hundred backward for me."

Once the numb feeling of nylon dragged through his lips, he swore he saw white spots flicker in his vision. His eyes immediately watered and he tried his best not to squirm under your hold, beginning to count to a hundred backward like you had instructed him to. You admitted it to him the first time you stitched him that it was a trick that you learned from your pediatrician friend. Despite it being for children, it helped to get him distracted while you focused on your job.

Minutes felt like hours, Johnny had been fighting the urge to punch something, anything, to release tension and nerves. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a peak and tried to take his attention away from what was currently happening on his lip. His gaze landed on your pretty eyes, how it was narrowed in focus and how your lashes perfectly framed it.

This wasn't the first time he'd observe you up close, there had been many occasions in the past that you had been too close for comfort in order to tend his wounds. It had been too many that it was almost as if he was close to memorizing your features. You were not only beautiful but you were also a smart and capable doctor.

Eventually, you finished and started to rub ointment on his sore lip — the finishing line.

"Try not to eat anything spicy or hard. You know the drill." You grinned at his suddenly pale features, ripping off your gloves as his eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the room. "You're good to go. Be careful next time."

He let out a shaky breath, clearly still winded up from the procedure, "I'll try. Thanks again, doc."

-

The punching bag felt great against Johnny's fists. There wasn't a feeling in the world that could compare to the impact of leather slamming against his skin. He could last hours mindlessly pummeling the bag if his stamina just allowed him to.

Hyunsik, Johnny's manager and personal trainer, drew away from the punching bag he held in between his arms. He let out a breath and held out a hand to motion that Johnny has done enough.

Johnny was hurting, Hyunsik could see that much. The bandages he had wrapped for the boxer's fingers were turning into a shade of red that they were all too familiar with.

Hyunsik clicked his tongue, "You should've used your gloves."

"How can I grow stronger if I keep relying on them?" Johnny rolled his eyes. His muscles needed a boost and this seemed to be the only logical way to strengthen them — a little blood never hurt anybody.

"Someday you're gonna fracture your hand and you'll be forced out of the ring. Remember that." Hyunsik huffed, his voice stern. "Take them off, I'll clean the blood off."

Johnny reluctantly did as told, unfurling the bandages wrapped around his fingers. The pain was excruciating when the fabric grazed along his tender skin, he winced at the unsightly view of his reopened wounds.

Hyunsik led him back outside of the ring to the benches where the first aid kit was. He made the boxer sit down so he could start cleaning off his wounds. It looked horrific, more so than it usually did and he had no choice but to break the news to Johnny.

"It looks really bad. You need to go get that checked in the hospital and have it sewed back." Hyunsik said, taking a wet towel and carefully dabbing it across Johnny's bloodied knuckles.

He didn't want to go to the hospital. Going to the hospital to have his wounds treated meant that Johnny would be medically required to take days off work to let his hand heal. Johnny frowned, "Don't you have an ointment or something that could help? I can't afford to lose a day of practice."

"Don't you think I know that?" Hyunsik rolled his eyes. "As your manager, I want you to be in top shape for your match next week, even if it means sacrificing a day or two for you to heal."

Johnny could only nod. He sat through Hyunsik's lecture on the changes he should make to his dietary plan and the exercises he should do during his temporary break. It infuriated him that he couldn't do anything about it but nod along.

The incoming match that was set next week would make or break his career as an underground boxer. He didn't have the option of missing it because of some measly reopened wounds. If he had to rest to get better, he had no choice but to suck it up. This was his fault anyway for pushing himself too much.

Johnny showered in the locker rooms and changed into nicer clothes that didn't reek of blood and sweat. His hands were stinging but he shook it off.

He ignored the concerned looks other boxers were giving him and begrudgingly made his way to the hospital to get himself checked in. You wouldn't be happy to see him all bloodied again, he thought.

-

Much to Johnny's surprise, it wasn't you who was assigned to him. It was a much older doctor with graying hair and a nose stuck too far up in the air. She was rude and condescending, her lack of politeness to her patients was quite appalling. If Johnny wasn't in such a bad mood, he might've complained already.

God, this day couldn't get any worse.

With a meek voice, Johnny asked where you were and at the mention of your name, his doctor gave him a narrowed look. She sneered, "She's handling much more important cases. Does she know you?"

"I think so." Johnny gulped, unsure of the answer himself.

The doctor's grip was tight and she was hasty. It was as if she was trying to speed through the process to just get it over with. Johnny wanted to cry because he was starting to get traumatized by this doctor's procedure, he didn't want to hate the hospital more than he already did.

He internally screamed for your name as he watched the doctor pull on the gloves. The sliding door harshly whipped open and there you were in all your glory, like an angel sent from above to save him from the devil incarnate who was about to pierce his skin.

You were panting and the sheen on your forehead made it obvious that you ran your way to his room. Johnny's heart leaped with glee.

"Unnie, I'll handle him." You said, unable to catch your breath as you made your way inside. "I think the ER needs you more than me."

The doctor seemed hesitant at first but you tried to convince her otherwise. She eventually agreed and left you with Johnny who had a cheesy smile on his face the entire time since you've arrived.

"So Johnny, what happened this time?" You asked, picking up the clipboard that sat next to him on the bed.

"I overdid the punching during training and it reopened some old wounds on my knuckles. It hurts like a bitch."

You pulled a face, "That's a bit intense."

He chuckled, "It's normal."

"Can I please see it?" You opened your palm so he could place his hand on yours. You observed his cuts and the scabs that were beginning to form around it, it was too deep to let it heal on its own so you made the verdict that he needed to get it sewed back together ⁠— as unfortunate as it was since he was a boxer and he needed his hands to box.

You tugged on a new pair of gloves and began the painful procedure, Johnny started counting down even without you instructing him to. You quickly got to work and stitched back his wounds with your lip in between your teeth

Johnny felt squeamish, he could never get used to the feeling of stitches. His eyes were glued shut and he mumbled numbers like it was mantra.

Once you were done, you smiled fondly at your work. You managed to get by with fewer stitches and you felt pride swell up in your chest. Johnny noticed and, as lightheaded as he was, couldn't help but smile as well.

"You're pretty good."

"At stitching?"

Johnny nodded with his cheeks flushed, he made a mental reminder to smack himself in the head later for such a crude comment. You probably thought he was an idiot now.

"I sure hope so." You chuckled, making him blush even deeper if that was even possible. "It's part of my job."

Johnny shook his head in embarrassment, his dark hair bouncing from how vigorously he did it. He mumbled, "That sounded really lame and not smooth, I'm sorry. Please forget I opened my mouth."

You could only chuckle as you apply the ointment around his knuckles. He wanted the ground to open up and just swallow him whole.

"Please let this heal completely, Johnny. Don't apply any strain on your injuries for a couple of days and refrain yourself from carrying anything heavy so that the stitches won't rip." You said, carefully placing down his hand back on his knee. You were gentle as ever, Johnny swooned. "Absolutely no punching for a while."

"I have an important match at the end of next week. Is there any way to speed up the healing process?" Johnny asked, his eyes were almost pleading at you and you blinked at him in surprise.

"Apart from what I just said, there's really nothing else you could do." You pursed your lips, watching his expression visibly deflate. "If you want to have even a sliver of a chance at winning your match, I suggest you do as I say. Your stitches won't take too long to heal, I promise."

If Hyunsik was there with him, he would've probably already scolded him but the point would be the same. He had always prioritized Johnny's health above winning.

"Okay, doc. I'll do my best." Johnny said, defeated.

"You know, I always see the aftermath of your matches and your training. I want to see you in the ring next time when you're not bloody and beaten up yet." You smiled at him and you swore that all the color that was previously drained from Johnny's face came rushing back. "If it's okay."

"Are you serious?" Johnny asked, almost dumbfounded. Did the pretty doctor he'd been crushing on for months really just asked if she could watch his match?

You nodded with the same hue of red now tainting your cheeks.

"O-Of course! It's on Saturday next week! Please come and cheer me on!" Like a little kid, he excitedly rambled on about the details about the upcoming match and you nodded with the same enthusiast as you wrapped bandages around his hands.

You weren't from his world so everything he said sounded foreign to you. The terms he said, the infamy of his opponents, the prominence of it all — you were eager to learn it if it meant seeing him this happy.

You've always known that he hated hospitals. It was clear from the way he acted during your first meeting. He was stiff and tense, the body language he exuded just screamed that he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there. As he visited the hospital more and more, you noticed the hatred never faltered. He only became better at hiding it from you.

To see him so relaxed and carefree within the four walls he hated with all his being, it was a breath of fresh air and the feeling you had in your chest grew stronger.

"You're good to go. I promise to see you in your match." You were jotting some last-minute details on the clipboard and you missed the way Johnny kept grinning like an idiot. "As much as I love seeing you here, I hate that you keep getting yourself injured. Keep out of trouble for me, Johnny."

You left the room without letting Johnny say another word.

Fuck, Johnny realized he hadn't asked for your number.

-

Johnny's match started in ten minutes. His heart was pounding in his ears, he almost couldn't hear what Hyunsik was shouting to him.

The underground stadium was filled to the brim with people, he felt more nervous than he did during his first boxing match. A lot was at stake for this win, he needed the belt. He was desperate for it.

"Johnny, are you listening to me?" Hyunsik raised his voice, aggressively slapping Johnny's cheeks together in his hands so he could focus on him. The boxer's mind was fleeting and it was his job to pull him back to reality now.

He hadn't seen you since last week and as much as he wanted to go back to the hospital to see you, he refused to badly hurt himself in the days that led up to the match. Johnny scanned the crowd for your face but he couldn't see it. You weren't there.

At the lack of your turnout, he failed to mask his disappointment. Hyunsik let out an aggravated groan and pulled the boxer on his feet to berate him further.

"Johnny, please for the love of all things holy, look me in the eye."

"I'm sorry. I'm okay now. I'm listening."

"Good because your match is starting soon and I need you to win this. All your hardships and sacrifices boils down to this match, you hear me?" Hyunsik bellowed, trying his best to keep his voice louder than the cries and chants of the audience. "Show them what Johnny Suh is capable of!"

Johnny nodded fervently, forcing himself into a state of serenity of peacefulness. He let out heavy breaths to even out his breathing as his team surrounded him, prepping him for what was about to come.

Hyunsik raised his hand at Johnny. He had five minutes left until his match started and he wasn't calming down.

"Can I please have some water?" Johnny asked and his medic stumbled on his feet to fetch him a bottle from the nearby cooler. He couldn't help but let out a shaky chuckle, his team seemed tenser than he was.

He downed the bottle as soon as it reached his hand. His hand was shaky. Goddammit, why was he so nervous?

At the corner of his eye, he saw Hyunsik making his way over to the barricade that separated his corner to the rest of the stadium. He arched his neck in a way that would let him take a peek what was so important that Hyunsik had to leave his side when the match was starting in a few minutes.

It seemed like Hyunsik was trying to stop a girl who was forcing her way in through the barricade. His stomach lurched at the sight of her familiar face.

As if he was acting purely on instinct, Johnny shot up from his seat and ran towards you. Hyunsik held up his arm to stop him from going any closer to you. You could've been a deranged fan, for all Hyunsik knows.

"Johnny-"

"I know her."

Hyunsik was startled at his response and started to profusely apologize to you. You looked nothing but smug and Johnny let out a breathy laugh that helped unravel the knots in his stomach. The boxer quietly motioned for him to take his leave and Hyunsik hesitantly did as told only after tapping his wrist as a sign that time was ticking.

You bowed at him apologetically, "I'm so sorry I'm late! There was this damn patient-"

"It's okay. You're here now." He cut you off, a cheesy smile on his face. You easily reciprocated it back.

"I just came down here to wish you good luck." You said with the usual confidence in your tone gone and now replaced with a sudden timidness and bashfulness. "Not like you need it or anything."

"Where are you sitting?" Johnny asked, noticing that you were struggling to keep your attention on his eyes. He peered down and realized that he didn't have a shirt on, he chuckled.

You pointed near the walls of the stadium and he strained his vision to see so far away. He pursed his lips and let out a noise of discontent. You said that it was the only seats available because you were so late.

"Why don't you sit here with them? They wouldn't mind." Johnny said, jutting his thumb over to his team who was furtively watching his interaction.

"Oh no, it's okay."

"I insist. I want you to see me win up close."

You blushed a deep shade of scarlet and Johnny grinned at his successful attempt at a flirt. Was it even a flirt or was it an ego stroke? Either way, it didn't matter because you were smiling at him. You were easing his nerves and you didn't even know.

"I got out of my shift early so I wouldn't be in the hospital later to stitch you up." You teased, softly prodding his shoulder blade.

Johnny playfully puffed out his chest, "I don't plan on getting too injured today, I wanna look cool in front of you."

"Whatever you say, Johnny."

"But I'm nervous. I'm actually really nervous today." Johnny mumbled as if he didn't want anyone else in on your conversation, gone all traces of his cockiness as his heart thudded erratically against his chest when he heard Hyunsik's call of the last minute until he has to go inside the ring.

You gingerly reached for his taped hands and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Just count back from a hundred like I always tell you to. You'll do fine."

"Wait for me after the match, okay?" And so you did.

Counting down the numbers, Johnny clambered inside the ring and the bell rang to signal the start of the match. Being in the medical field meant that you were against all forms of violence so you couldn't really watch the entirety of the match without feeling sick to your stomach. Johnny didn't care, he was just happy that you kept your promise and was cheering him on.

It was hectic and everything was happening all at once. It was loud and everybody was screaming. This wasn't your world, it was Johnny's and your heart fluttered at the thought that he was willing to let you in it.

Eventually, the match ended in Johnny's favor and the next thing you knew, you were being hoisted up in the air. You had the biggest smile on your face, similar to Johnny's who now had a shiny belt slung over his shoulder. All his hard work and all his trips to the hospital paid off.

"Congrats on your win!" You exclaimed, placing your palms on his chest to steady yourself.

"I wanted you to see me get the belt." He admittedly sheepishly, reaching out to hold your wrists in his bruised hands.

"Aren't you hurt in any way? We can drop by the hospital if you want." You asked, checking to see if he had any major injuries but true to his word, Johnny was inflicted little to no injuries during the match, exclude the few bruises on his jaw and a busted lip

"Actually, I'd rather we get some coffee instead." Johnny said, the small smile on his lips making you chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I don't date my patients." You smirked at Johnny's crestfallen expression, softly shoving his side to make it known that you were only joking.

Johnny pulled a face, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding once he realized your joke. He played along, "I think you can make me an exception, I don't usually invite people to my matches."

"So this is about getting even, huh?" You were teasing him and now your faces were merely inches apart but before Johnny could even think of leaning in, you spun around and grabbed his hand once more. "C'mon then, my treat!"

Johnny let out a laugh. A boxer and a doctor, who would've thought?

#johnny #johnny suh #johnny seo #nct johnny #nct 127 #nct #nct imagines #johnny imagines #johnny au #nct au #johnny angst #johnny scenarios #nct scenarios #johnny fluff #nct fluff #nct timestamps #johnny timestamps #johnny fanfics #johnny x reader #nct x reader

[jemwritesstuff]

▪︎ David King x reader

notes: this is the first piece of writing ive ever published in english and outside of my friends and creative writing class lol pls go easy on me

content warnings: mentions of canon typical violence, terrible depictions of feelings

ETA: this was written before bhvr claimed david as a gay man and it's sat in my notes for way longer than it's been published, so you might have to use a lil imagination. i also noticed some inconsistensies with pronouns (im blaming english for that, my mother tongue doesnt have gendered pronouns) so im sorry bout any confusion. if i ever actually get my motivation back ill def edit rewrite this whole piece. sorry!

...

You were unconcious, just like everyone who appeared from the Fog, when he spotted you from afar. David didn't know it was you just yet though.

He called for Claudette. Most newbies did have some injuries. He remembers the detective coming in with a huge gash on his shoulder. David didn't ask him for specifics.

Just another month, just another survivor, he thought and trudged on. They wouldn't be dying soon and he knew it. The Entity is a bitch and works in mysterious ways. One day of rest, first trial, rest of the day off and then thrown into the same rhythm with the rest. Adapt or get killed again and again and again. Death is not an escape.

They were dirty. Leaves, branches and mud on their clothes, tangled in their hair. David recognized you. He froze. Cursed. A crow flew away from a nearby tree.

He kneeled down next to you. Under all the dirt, you looked just the same. It made David question this reality even more. He had been counting days; four hundred and eighty nine today. Yet it seemed like you hadn't aged a day.

He didn't dare to touch you.

He looked over you. You weren't bleeding and every limb was intact.

He wanted to touch you.

Four hundred and eighty nine days.

He wanted to cry.

Not having you with him in the realm was hard but having you there with him was even worse. Death is not an escape. You die over and over and over and over again. Time stands still and yet one is able to feel it flow.

David felt his legs bucking underneath him. The ground was shaking.

He couldn't touch you. Memories of you were already flooding through him. It only gets worse. You probably didn't even want to see him. He had vanished without a trace after all. Left you all alone, dealing with his issues...

He wanted to hold you.

Claudette startled him from his thoughts.

"Can you carry her to the camp for me?" She asked.

David wanted to refuse. He glanced at you, then at Claudette.

At her waiting stare, he picked you up. He couldn't bare to look you in the eyes. They were closed anyway, what would it matter? He remembered. The deep color of your eyes and the way they shone in the morning when you woke up. He put you down where Claudette wanted you and walked away. He couldn't bare to look at you any longer.

Yet he did want to see you again.

He wanted to talk to you again.

He wanted to feel you again.

He wanted to love you again.

Truthfully, he never stopped. He did think about you every passing day.

David was furious. He was ready to do anything if he could get his hands on the Entity. Instead of the Entity, the nearest tree got a taste of David's wrath.

David was devastated. If there was one person on the whole goddamned Earth that didn't deserve what the Entity had to offer, it was you.

He glanced back towards the camp. Only trees and bushes in his vision, he dropped to the ground and bawled his eyes out.

He thought long and hard.

He couldn't just walk up to you, pretend everything is alright and continue on like before. It had been over a year since he last saw you. His last words to you were in a fight. He couldn't even remember what he had said to you. He could remember your expression, though. The hurt, sadness and fury, all mixed into one.

After that, he had disappeared from your life.

You didn't know he was here exactly. No doubt the other survivors would mention his existence. What would be the odds after all of you two ending up in the same place? If he could bare it, he could avoid you at all costs. He couldn't face you and he knew that.

So he chose the cowardly way.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

You had been introduced to most of the others during your first few days.

To David it seemed like you had made some friends. On some of the easier nights, you sat at the campfire with the rest and shared your stories. Kate and you seemed to get along easily, sharing the same passion for music.

David couldn't help but to realize that he hadn't heard his name once. Although he wasn't there to listen all the time. It was hard to keep an eye on you at the same time as avoiding you.

David sat in the woods. He listened to the fire crackling and you talking. He'd heard the same story about the ducklings many times.

You asked whether you had met everyone already. David's breath hitched in his throat. In as small community as this was, it was a wonder he had avoided you even for a week now.

He heard someone elses name too but naturally he paid more attention to his own. He cursed Dwight for remembering his last name.

He couldn't see you but he knew what kind of an expression you were wearing. You asked for specifics about David King. Where he was from, what he did for a living; easy questions to determine if there was another David King who had gotten sucked into this bitch of a world.

There wasn't.

Someone pointed out that they hadn't actually seen David much out of trials. You hummed in response. David was glad you didn't start spilling your guts about the whole situation.

He knew there was no avoiding you now. You would confront him the moment you saw him, trial or not, it didn't matter.

He didn't know how to feel.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Four hundred and ninety nine days.

You had counted.

On four hundreth and ninety sixth day you had heard about David first of all still being alive and second of all existing in this same fucked up realm you were in.

That night you went through every single emotion a human was capable of feeling.

You were happy that David was alive. He hadn't come home after your petty fight, the cause of which you couldn't even remember anymore. You feared he got jumped.

You were also seething with rage. He knew you were here - Claudette told you he was the one who found you - yet he didn't even try to speak to you.

You were sad, too, and all for the same reasons. He was here and he didn't want to talk to you. Or so you thought.

Unfortunately, you were also glad. You had ached to see him, to hold him again. You couldn't say you had stopped loving him.

So you made a decision. You would find him and you would force him to speak to you. Didn't matter if it was on a meat hook or in front of everyone.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

David had come back from a trial all beaten and bruised. If not for the stupid rules in the Fog he would've loved to obliterate that masked twink.

He was just about to head to the campfire when he spotted you.

You spotted him, too.

David couldn't run anymore. He had made it to five hundred days. It should be enough.

David turned to the woods. He knew you would follow. And you did. When the camp was no longer visible, you called out to him.

David stopped. His body ached to turn around and run to you. His mind, too, yet he was frozen in place.

You circled around him. If there was malice in your actions, you would have been the deadliest vulture. There was none. Concern, curiousity even, but no hatred.

You would've looked the exact same as five hundred days ago if not for the dark under-eyes that seemed to be the standard in the Fog.

He was about to open his mouth, mutter out something; an apology, confession, anything. His brain shortcircuited itself trying to get everything out at once. You just shook your head and wrapped your arms around his torso.

It was just like before. David engulfed you. His body working on its own, longing to be as close to you as possible. You were warm, maybe even warmer than before. Soft but muscles tense, ready to leap out of the way of danger like everyone here. It hurt David to see how accustomed you already were to the Fog.

"'M sorry." He breathed out into your hair once he finally found some voice in him. You just shook your head and told him to shut his piehole.

Pulling him even closer to you, David choked a laugh.

"'M sorry." He repeated and tightened his arms around you.

He smiled into your hair. He wanted nothing more than to say out loud just how much he missed you and how he never stopped loving you and everything else that was like a whirlwind in his head but his voice betrayed him again.

You didn't seem like letting your thoughts out either, deciding to just do your best at crushing his ribs.

David had a million things at the top of his mind for the first time in a while.

He didn't mind, he had you again.

#jems content #dead by daylight x reader #dbd x reader #dead by daylight #dbd #david king #david king x reader #dbd david #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #my writing #writing #x gn!reader #x gn reader #hi i rly hope this is atleast decent im so self concious abt this

[cunningambitousdetermined]

i need a plot for this

yall so ive been trying really hard to get back into writing and i went to a writing camp this summer. im going to post a poem that i wrote there later bc im super proud of it but right now i have something else i need help with. SO basically there was a prompt about someone finding a letter or a note. that’s the prompt. so i wrote something, really liked it BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO TAKE IT FROM HERE. my basic ideas involve the two characters meeting each other again to do SOMETHING WHICH I DONT KNOW and slowly arcane (youll see when you read the story below) thaws and falls in love with kalon and kalon has always been in love with her and its like best friends to enemies to friends to lovers ya know? ANYWAY if you dont hate me for being inactive and needy, please read this and help me. 

Dear Arcane,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 10 years. Wow. I don’t even know if you’ll ever get this, you could’ve moved. You could be dead. Oh god, that’s dark. You’re not dead, someone would’ve told me, I’m sure. So that must mean that there’s a good chance you have this, but I’m not even sure if you’ll read it.

He was right, as he most often was. Arcane had not planned to read the letter from the moment she read her name on the envelope, written in a neat sort of messy handwriting that could only come from one person. The letter had been sitting at her desk for a week before memories began to drown her and she knew she had to open it.

That’s not the point though, I’m sure you’ll read this. You’ve always been a sucker for the intimacy of written letters. Maybe that’s why I wrote to you instead of calling.

Arcane closed her eyes, the pounding of the memories at the door slowly consuming her. She took a deep breath and let them in. The whispers started to fill the room, every word echoing off the walls, like her past had become a living, breathing thing in her room. How could he write her now? After all these years. Anger reared it's small head in the back of her mind. How could he be so casual as if he wasn't the boy who ripped her heart out and tore it to pieces. 

Maybe it’s because I did read all the letters you wrote to me. Even after the voicemails stopped filling my phone and the emails ran dry, your letters kept coming.

She remembers writing those letters, the pen shaking in her hand as it hit the paper. She remembers wondering what you said to someone like him, a friend who left you behind. The squeeze in her chest that tightened each time he didn’t reply. The break in her heart when the last letter she ever wrote was returned to her doorstep.

If you’ve read this far without tearing my letter to pieces, then I would say this is a good start to our reunion. I’ve missed you. Your stubborn ways, always trying to keep me safe. But you always came with me wherever I went anyway. I miss your secret smile, the one you saved just for me. The treehouse we built in your yard. Do you miss that? I wonder if you wonder about me. I wonder if I can even ask that of you.

She did miss them. But, those things that she missed were long gone. The treehouse was overgrown with vines, Arcane was sure you couldn’t even get into it anymore. She went with him on his stupid adventures because what would she do if he left and met new people? He would leave her and she would be alone. So she desperately followed him blindly, hoping it would keep him close. Arcane missed her secret smile, the genuine one she had always saved for him. He missed it. How could he miss something that he destroyed. With his one and only letter to her, he demolished any leftover love for him that hid in her heart. He couldn’t ask if Arcane wondered about him. That wasn’t fair. That night, ten years ago, was still a raw wound in her soul that she was pretty sure would never heal.

~

The rain was relentless that night, banging against every edge of the house, but a little girl was waiting by the door, not even flinching as the lightning and thunder clapped furiously. Arcane peeked her head above the window frame to find the mailman running through the storm, his frantic steps pounding through the floor of the house. Her eyes lit up with a hope that was slowly fading with each mail drop. She opened the door and hid the small smile that started to spread up her face with a cough.

“Hi, Dan!” Arcane’s voice gave away the excitement that was flooding her system.

“Hey, Arcane.” Dan couldn’t help the pitiful grin that he gave her. She waited by the door for him every day and each day there was no letter for her. It must be soul-crushing, he thought, waiting for a letter that never comes.

“Is there…?” Arcane was practically on her tiptoes at this point. Dan rifled through the letters, dread settling as her name wasn’t there. Again. And then there was a squeal. “Oh, Dan! I found it! I knew- I knew it- I told them!” Her sentences didn’t even come out fully as she beamed, her smile brighter than any ray of the sun.

Arcane had run into the house, a breeze following in her wake. Plopping down into the soft plush couch, she ripped open the envelope, not caring about the paper that flew everywhere in the room. A paper fluttered out, floating toward the ground. Arcane grabbed it, hands shaking, she could practically feel the sweat dripping down her face. Words were the easiest way to break someone. The letter only contained eleven words, yet they would stick with her for the rest of her life.

Stop writing me. None of it was real. You were nothing.

Eleven words. And they shattered her. Crumbling, shattering, a million pieces breaking. Sobs racked through her whole body, her chest shaking and trembling with each broken breath. She caught her face in the mirror hanging off the pale wall and didn’t recognize the girl that stared back. You were nothing. A scream tore through her, the ache of her heart so raw that even the sun seemed to cry, rain dripping onto the panes of the windows. And slowly, so very slowly, Arcane buried the ache and gathered the shattered pieces of her heart and encased them in an impenetrable cage, never to opened again.

~

The ache was still present now, ten years after the letter had arrived. The dullness of her buried hurt made her clench her fists around the letter that sat in her hand now, the same lopsided handwriting adorning it.

But, that’s not why I’m writing this letter. I’m writing this with an actual purpose, if you can imagine that. I didn't just write to rehash our friendship. 

Arcane could feel her eyes narrowing, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the inanimate piece of paper. An actual purpose? To break her heart all over again? This time she did roll her eyes, even though no one was there to see it. But, it wasn’t the fact that he wrote her after all these years or that his tone was friendly throughout that made her body freeze. It was the last line that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention.

In all the years that Arcane had known him, he'd never been very dependent. He often just struggled in silence and figured them out on his own. Not once, not ever, had has asked for help. But, there the sentence was inked in his slanted, loopy writing. 

I need your help.

Love,

Kalon

  ~~everything below here is stuff that doesnt have to be a part of the story but i still liked it and where it was going (idk please give me ideas)~~

The quiet, shock of the room seemed to weigh on Arcane. She flopped back onto her bed, the soft pillows cushioning her landing. I need your help. Those few, simple words, tugged at the strings that bound her heart. He needed her. The thought was fleeting as just as quickly as it came, it left. In its spot was anger. Now he needed her? After all those years when she needed him? What did he do then? Nothing. And that’s what she was going to do now. She huffed in satisfaction, tossing the envelope to the side. Her fingers reached into her hair, massaging her head. There were too many things to think about right now. Arcane squeezed her eyes shut as memories stung her eyes in the form of tears. 

~

“Please, don’t leave me.” Arcane had whispered, her small breaths filling the one room of the treehouse. 

“I don’t have a choice. You know I don’t want to go.” Kalon’s voice broke and he looked away so Arcane couldn’t see the tears in his eyes. It was silent. 

“We’ll still be best friends right?” 

“Yeah.” Kalon’s reply didn’t hold much conviction, causing Arcane to look over at him, confused, glossy eyes narrowing. 

“To the moon and back, Kal, remember?” She said, her tone desperate. It was a promise they made one night as they were watching some cheesy movie on the old television set. The boy had told the girl that he loved her too ‘the moon and back’. Kalon had then explained that the two characters said that so that they would never be apart. They could meet at the same moon, always and then they could go back. And then, they would never be fully apart. Arcane had liked that. So naturally,  she had grabbed Kal’s face and made him promise that they would go ‘to the moon and back’ if they were ever apart. It became a goodbye for them, a way of saying ‘I’ll see you soon’. 

“Yeah,” Kal had replied, a smile barely curling through his lips, “I’ll race ya there.”

~

She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, letting her memories flow down her cheeks and into the bedsheets, but eventually she had to get up. She pulled herself up and off the bed, limbs protesting at the use. She just needed a few days is all, then she wouldn’t even remember what she was crying for.  Kalon didn’t mean anything to her anymore.

thank you for reading this far, i love all of you. just throw out ideas please. or give me some advice, i would love that. whether its about my writing or the plot i would love to have tips and constructive criticism on how to get better! tagging some moots who i hope dont hate me after this below the cut:

@natashxromanovf @pad-foots @griffxnnage @voidmalfoy @flxss-bxbblxs @alwaysreading @herondalesunsetcurve THANKS YALL I LOVE YOU MORE THEN I EXPRESS AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DESERVE ALL OF YOU AND YOUR LOVE

#my writing #a book? #writing a book #plot ideas #please give me some ideas #writing #original characters #and an original storyline #found letter prompt

[clonecaptains]

PAPERCLIPS | a Javi Peña x reader fic

rating: T for dramatic elements; will change to M in future parts

summary: You think your crush on Javi goes unnoticed - until Steve and Connie take matters into their own hands. 

a/n: ive had this story idea in my head for months and im so glad it’s finally out of my head and actually WRITTEN!! there will be a part two for sure, and others if i feel inspired!!

Paperclips

Being Javier Peña’s neighbor isn’t the worst thing to happen to you. Being a secretary at the DEA office is. Seeing Agent Javier Fucking Peña every day of the week is slowing killing you. His cute little ass in those tight ass jeans. He knows what he’s doing, and you hate him for it. The suits are just as bad. Displaying his broad shoulders, showing off his sharp jaw. You want nothing more than to yank him to your level by one of his ties and kiss him harshly. Yeah. You hate him.

But you won’t do anything about this hopeless crush. You haven’t done anything for weeks.

Your desk sits up higher, you look down at the boys from your perch. Javi’s desk faces away from you, which allows you to stare at the back of his head (and ass) all day. Every once and a while you get lucky and see his face when he leaves his desk to go out in the field, or when he comes into work in the mornings. He’ll turn and offer a nod or a simple wave good morning.

You are friendly acquaintances. You’ve spoken on occasion at the dreaded office parties. The only reason you ever have gone to those are the free food and the small chance to see him.

Your staring at the back of his head is the most you do lately, your crush too strong to get up the nerve to ask him for coffee. Luckily, he can’t see you pine away for him.

But unbeknownst to you, there’s a watchful pair of eyes that have seen your longing gazes at the back of Javi’s head.

One Steve Murphy.

He’s seen every glance. Every flustered look cross your face. He doesn’t want to pry, not at first. But then he remembers how his buddies set him up with Connie. And hell, Javi could use someone nice like you in his life. Someone less dangerous to get involved with than communist informants.

Steve’s told Connie every detail, it’s much more entertaining to discuss then the heavy topic of death and drug lords. Connie’s only concern is the office romance drama, but she’s your friend. And she wants the same thing for you – Javi is a good man. And being neighbors with you, she’s also seen the looks you’ve given as Javi walks down the hallway.

They are planning more on how to get you with Javi than you are.

So far, your plan is hoping he’ll need a paperclip and will come ask you for one. And then suddenly ask you to coffee and then take you back to his place and-

Oh shit.

Javi’s wearing a blue shirt today, your favorite. And you might have let your eyes linger a little too long. And you’ve just made eye contact with Steve. He quirks a brow at you, and a small smirk appears on his lips. His piercing gaze just past Javi makes his partner curious, and the object of your affections turns his head in your direction.

When Javi’s eyes meet yours, you quickly avert your gaze. Trying to busy yourself with something important. Which consists mainly of organizing your already organized desk.

Javi is none the wiser, he shrugs and goes back to work. But Steve, he saw all that he needed to see.

You spend the rest of the day with your head down. You’ve had enough embarrassment for one day. It pains you that you’re missing out on the blue shirt though.

Normally after work you come up with some excuse to try and say hi and bye to Javi on his way out. He almost never goes straight to his apartment after office hours because he’s typically working out in streets. It’s your small chance to get some form of interaction with him.

Tonight though, you get out of there as soon as possible. It kills you to leave, you can hear Javi and Steve laughing at their desks. You want to turn around and see that smile you dream of.

So instead, you get out and head home.

You look forward to a quiet evening. You need a distraction. Something, anything to keep your mind off of him. Which only seems to make you think about him even more.

It’s getting later and the wine in your system has you feeling warm. There’s a warm buzzed feeling that spreads over your body and settles between your legs.

Maybe the wine wasn’t such a good idea. And you’re being ridiculous. So, Steve saw you looking at Javi. Is that a crime? Javi is handsome. Most women in the office notice him, even the married ones get a little smile on their face when he walks by.

It’s more than that. Having your crush discovered isn’t the end of the world.

Maybe you know that if Javi was interested he would have done something by now. Maybe you know that if Steve tells Javi about your crush that something will happen. Or that something won’t.

You want to get over this crush, but all you can think about is the arousal between your legs. You’ve seen him bring women home, but it’s been some time. That’s given you a false hope you think. Regardless, you know he’s a good lover. Thin walls.

You ache.

Those nights when he’s brought a woman home have been awful. You don’t listen on purpose, and more often than not you wish you couldn’t hear. Couldn’t hear women scream out his name, wishing it were you crying out his name into the dark.

On top of all that, you know that most times when he brings someone home, it’s been a bad day for him. He brings a prostitute home to ease his sorrows with the high of a release. You want to be there for him not just sexually, but emotionally. Living next to him isn’t the worst thing, but not being able to help him when you’ve seen the weight he carries is.

You’ll see him at work the next morning and try not to pretend you didn’t hear the headboard thwacking and how much you wish it were you.

Yeah. That wine wasn’t a good idea.

You’ve created a fantasy which you entertain, maybe it’s wrong but right now the wine is talking. Your fingers tease yourself and you’re close to the edge when you hear a rapid knock on the door.

Feeling flushed and disoriented, you quickly tug your pants back on and hurry to open your door.

You’re met with the sight of a woman, obviously drunk.

“Is Javi here?” she laughs twirling her hair with her fingers. You feel sick.

“You have the wrong apartment,” you tell her and point to Javi’s front door across the hall.

Disrupted by the noise, Javi’s door opens. His eyes widen in slight shock at seeing the two of you talking. He pushes his door open, and this other woman walks past him into his place. His eyes flick up to you in a silent apology and he closes the door behind him with a click.

The silence in the hallway is deafening. You stand in your doorway in disbelief. You can hear muffled voices across the hall, and you slam your door behind you in anger. You wince at the slam, then you sink down to the floor. Tears fall from your eyes, who were you kidding?

You get no sleep that night, and every sound that drifts over from his apartment to yours fills you with dread. You’ve heard nothing sexual in nature, but that doesn’t make you feel any better.

You don’t even want to go to work. You don’t want to see him. You’re mad at him, even though you’re actually mad at yourself.

Most of the day goes by before you really get a chance to see him. And for that you are grateful.

You smell his cologne before you see him, and his tall frame hovers by your desk. His voice comes out gentle and raspy.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he starts. A small part of you hopes he’ll apologize for what it looked like, apologize for hurting you. “I’m sorry she disrupted your night.”

Oh.

“Thanks,” is your weak reply. You can’t even bear to look up at him. Shit, he smells really good too. He almost never comes up to your desk. And now that he’s here, you just want him to go away.

“Javi, I-“ you manage to look up at him. And you don’t have a clue what you’re gonna say. His eyebrows raise as he’s ready to listen to what you have to say.

“Great!” You hear Steve’s voice cut through. “I’m glad I got you both together!” he claps his hand on Javi’s shoulder. “Connie and I are having a little get together tonight, and we want you both to come! Be there at 7!” he squeezes Javi’s shoulder and gives you a nod and leave before you can tell him no.

Javi shakes his head but gives you a soft smile. “Connie’s cooking isn’t that bad,” he jokes getting a laugh from you. Even though you curse yourself for laughing, you’re still mad. But when you see him smile at your laugh, you’re not….completely mad.

You spend the rest of the day and afternoon panicking about what to wear. Who else was going to be at this “get together”?

You can only assume it’s a casual thing, but still. Knowing Javi will be there has your insides churning.

You arrive early to help Connie, and to compose yourself. You’re helping her to set the table when Javi walks in. He gives a polite nod, and Steve is quick to greet him with a beer.

You flush, and Connie sees you actively trying to avoid any looks. She gives you a gentle nudge with her elbow, getting you to look up at her.

“It’s alright,” she whispers. “He’s into you.” She looks over at the boys in the small living area. Javi’s shrugged his jacket and is sitting with Steve, one of them laughs at a joke.

You nod your head ‘no.’

“He isn’t,” you tell her with a small shrug. “Is this all that’s coming?” you ask trying to change the subject. It dawns on you then that this is a setup, a double date. You start to panic.

“Hey,” Connie’s words are soft but firm, “it’s just dinner.”

She’s right, and you know she is. But you’re not sure if you can handle looking at him. All you can think about is the woman who came knocking on your door last night and him taking her in. What else would she have been there for other than to get a little taste of Javier Peña?

It’s hard to avoid those big brown eyes when he’s sitting directly across from you at the table. The conversation is light and humorous. But the way Javi is looking at you, it’s as if he knows something. Like he can read your mind.

“Dessert?” Connie’s cheery voice tears you from your thoughts.

“I’ll help,” you tell her. You need air, you feel like you’re suffocating under his glances.

“I’d say it’s going well!” she giggles once the two of you are out of earshot in the kitchen.

“How can you even tell?” you groan. “He’s not into me Connie.”

“I don’t know, he’s been making eyes at you across the table.”

“Connie,” you hiss. “He is not into me. He brought home some woman last night. Why the hell would he be into me?”

“How do you know-“

“I know. I know!” you hiss sharply trying to keep your voice down. “He brings those women home for a fuck, I know I’ve heard! And I will NEVER be one of those women.”

And not that you want to necessarily be one of them, that he fucks only – but-

“He doesn’t want me.”

“Who said that?” Javi’s voice has you turn in the little kitchen. You almost drop the plate in your hands. Connie and Steve exchange a look. Your eyes are fixed on Javi. You wish the earth would swallow you whole.

Embarrassed and upset, tears start to well up in your eyes.

“C’mon,” Javi offers you his hand. Your arms are crossed tight against your chest, but at the softness of his voice you relax and take his hand. He guides you out of the apartment, and you turn to Connie – she gives you a smile and a nod saying, “it’s ok.”

So, you follow Javi. He guides you down the hall to his apartment. He pats his pocket but doesn’t feel his keys.

“Shit,” he laughs, “they’re in my jacket pocket-“

“We can go in mine,” you reply pulling out your keys and open your apartment door.

You’re not entirely sure what is happening, but you open the door and he follows behind.

“I didn’t bring her home for sex,” Javi tells you the moment the door closes behind him. “She’s an informant, she only pretended to be drunk so no one would be suspicious. Her idea, not mine.”

“So, you know?” your voice hesitant.

“Know what?” he leans against your kitchen counter. Your arms have crossed against your chest again.

“Know how I feel?” your face heats up.

“Yeah,” he chuckles softly. “I could feel your eyes burning the back of my head, and my ass,” he says out of the corner of his mouth. He gives a gentle wink, his eyes bright and eyebrows lifted.

You bury your face in your hands, “was I that obvious?”

“Honestly, I thought you were checking out Steve at first,” he laughs. Your laugh joins his, and you feel more relaxed. “The only reason I never said anything was-“ he nibbles on his lower lip trying to think of what he wants to say. “I thought you wouldn’t want me.”

“What?” you gasp. “How could you think that?”

“My life is fucked up baby, why would you want in the mess?” He takes a step closer.

“All I wanted was to be there for you,” you admit, fiddling with the hem of your jacket.

“That’s all you wanted?” he takes another step closer. You can feel the heat of him. You look up at his face, he’s standing so close. His brow is raised. “That’s all you wanted?” he repeats in a whisper.

“Javi,” you whisper and melt into him as he closes the gap between you with his lips. His mustache tickles your upper lip in the way you hoped it would.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your lips and kisses the corner of your mouth.

“You don’t have to explain,” you cling to his shirt. You start to laugh and press your forehead against his solid warm chest.

“What’s so funny?” he laughs.

“This isn’t how I thought this would happen.”

“Oh?” he raises that eyebrow again.

“I thought-“

“What?” he kisses your forehead and cheeks.

“I just thought you’d come up to my desk and ask me for a paperclip or something and then ask me for coffee.”

“Baby, I will ask you for a fucking paperclip if that’s what you want.”

You snort out a laugh and he squeezes you tight. He kisses you again, and you feel dizzy.

“I don’t do this. Ever,” you flush.

“It’s ok,” he whispers kissing you again, “all I came over for was a paperclip.”

//

MASTERLIST

#javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #javi #narcos #my gifs #mine #my writing

[whosaskingwrites]

The Sound Of Love (Tsukishima x Reader)

A/N: Um I don't like this one as much as the others but I did my best. It honestly took forever cause I didn't want to write it and I had no idea what song to use but I eventually decided so here we are.

WARNINGS: angst

Date: Saturday November 7th, 2020

Details: 5.3 pages 2,000 words

Theme: Musicalia- The victim will hear a song constantly playing in their head until it drives them insane. The person of affection will only hear the music when they are around the victim.

Angst Masterlist

Clair De Lune

A simple, beautiful piano melody that had been repeating in my head for weeks. There was never a reprieve from the beautifully haunting melody. My mind followed the sound like a moth to a flame and deteriorated the closer it got to the music.

No amount of holding my hands over my ears stopped it. It had become a part of me like the backround music in a video game or movie. However this wasn't a video game or a movie this was real. Every day was the same never a rest I couldn't even sleep some nights.

This was my last week at Karasuno before I was put in the hospital. My mind was too far gone to stay out I couldn't really hear anything anymore to distracted by the music and of course I hummed it on occasion. Everyone in my classes knew I had it...Musicalia but they didn't know who caused it.

Monday

I walked to class with a sigh Yamaguchi was following and as we walked I heard a gentle piano melody that got louder. I spotted a familiar H/c haired girl fast walking past me like she'd done since I pushed her away. Yamaguchi followed my eyesight and the music faded the further away she got "you should apologize you know. This week is her last at Karasuno," I blinked 'her last week?' I thought "Shut up Yamaguchi," I said keeping my emotions off my face "Sorry Tsukki," I continued watching the S/c skinned female rush off down the hall.

Tuesday

I was walking up to the roof ready to reject another girl. Why they felt the need to confess to me of all people id never understand. As I rounded the corner someone ran into me and with a short shriek they fell. I was about to say something when I noticed who it was...Y/n she looked paler than I remembered and eye bags were prevalent on her face. I heard the piano again it was louder than ever.

"Do you need to listen to music that loud?" I asked though it was harsher than intended. Her eyes widened and I held back a frown as I saw she was afraid. "S-sorry," she stood up quickly and ran off down the hall the music fading the further she got and I watched 'why was she afraid of me?' My eyes caught something on the floor which I turned to. Picking it up I realized it was a simple gold bracelet with a dinosaur charm on it.

"This is...," It was the bracelet id given her three years ago on her birthday. It was still in perfect condition looking like it did on the day I'd given it to her and it caused a small smile to pull at my lips as I pocketed the familiar bracelet.

Wednesday

Everytime I spotted the e/c eyed female in the hallway and approached her she would turn and run the music following her. Nobody ever seemed bothered by the piano it was almost like they didn't hear it and Y/n was never wearing headphones when it was playing. "Does she ever stop listening to that song?" I mumbled to myself as she ran away yet again.

"What song?" Yamaguchi asked next to me I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him. "What do you mean what song? That damn piano music she's always listening to it's annoying," I said and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened "Tsukki...She's not listening to any music...," He stated.

I blinked as I processed what that meant "No ive heard it-," Yamaguchi cut me off before I could continue he had a sad look in his eyes and as he spoke I realized why. "She's got Musicalia Tsukki...," He whispered as he looked at me. "She...She what?" I asked. "She's got Musicalia and if you can hear it that means...," my own eyes widened as I realized what he was implying. "Oh...,"

Thursday

Cornering someone who was avoiding you was much more difficult than you'd think. Everytime I ended up even in the same room as her she ran before I could even get near her. "Yamaguchi," I stated causing him to jump. "Yeah?" He nervously asked. "Can you convince Y/n to meet you on the roof?" I asked. He didn't ask any questions he just nodded mumbling a quiet yeah as the teacher walked in the room.

I stood on the roof looking out towards the gym. I heard footsteps come around the corner and stop before they slowly started backing away. "Can you stop running? I need to talk to you," I said. The footsteps stopped and I turned around. Y/n stood a few feet away nervously shuffling on her feet.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I asked and she sighed "Preferably never," She answered and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Never? This could kill you!" I took a step toward her while she took one back "So what?" She spit bitterly rasing her head up to glare. "So what? So everything!" I shouted.

"So everything? You dont even fucking like me! You made that pretty clear last year!" She yelled back. She was referencing an argument that I barely remembered and that she hadn't forgotten. "Do you even know what its like to have your heart crushed in seconds!?" She screamed. "You still should have told me you have Musicalia!" I glared back. 

She just gave me a bitter smile "I suppose my dear this was how it was meant to be," she stretched her arms out as she spoke and tears dripped down her face at a slow pace. "You dying isn't how it's supposed to be!" She only shook her head in response. I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the bracelet. "Here...just take this back," I said holding it out. She walked forward and I heard that gentle and haunting music get louder.

She stopped closing my hand around the bracelet and leaning up to press a kiss against my cheek. "Keep it I won't have a use for it much longer," she mumbled before turning and walking off. "Y/n!" She stopped but didn't turn around and I continued speaking. "I love you," she sighed and turned her head. The sunset cast her in an ethereal glow and sparkled off the remaining tears on her face.

She gave a sad, watery smile in response. "No you don't Tsukki. If you did...You would have come back to me a lot sooner," she turned and left I knew she was right but god it hurt to hear her say that. My hand was still tightly closed around the bracelet the metal uncomfortably warm against my skin as she walked away from me.

Friday

She avoided me even more. I never saw her but I heard the music following around on occasion. After yesterday I had looked for the melody finally hearing it long enough to search for it. The results had told me the song was Clair De Lune I should have known. It was Y/n's favorite song though I doubted she liked it now.

I had tried to find her when I heard the music but even if I followed it I never found her. I was walking toward my locker keeping an ear out for that melody. As I opened the locker a f/c envelope fell out as I picked it up I noticed it was sealed with a gold wax stamp. Flipping it over my name was written on the front in flowing cursive. I put it away in my bag before heading to practice.

I flipped the envelope around in my hand staring at it before sighing. I pulled open the envelope and slipped the contents out. The first was a photo of me, Y/n, and Yamaguchi we were standing in the park in the photo. Y/n and Yamaguchi had their arms over eachothers shoulders while I stood in the background glaring towards the camera.

The other thing was a letter that I was hesitant to flip open. I knew the letter was from Y/n but I for the first time felt afraid on what she had to say. Sighing I opened the letter ready to read it.

Dear Kei,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Though That's what happens after fights. You give each other time to calm down and then you come back. Only this time...There is no coming back. You already know I have Musicalia and I'm sure you know I love you. It's weird to write that to someone you know doesn't love you.

Don't lie either. You don't love me the way I love you. You may think you do but if you had we would have been friends again by now. But you were perfectly content with not having me in your life so I know you'll be fine when I'm actually gone.

That's the issue isn't it? I'll be gone soon really, truly...gone. I'm not afraid knowing my death is approaching im...content and at peace with it. My death won't be glorious. I'm not going out with a bang. Or any final inspirational words. I'll go quietly in my sleep hopefully. Sleep however is hard when there's music constantly playing on loop in your head.

When I'm gone Kei...Will you visit me? Tell me about your day or the volleyball team! Yamaguchi told me about the team you should go easier on them. You should also learn from them you know? Anyways if you ever can't make it to me...Play Clair De Lune and I'll go to you! I'll listen to you talk at your place instead of you coming to mine!

I'm sure you know by now that this is my goodbye letter. Don't act so suprised of course I want to say goodbye to you. You're important to me you should know that. I've written this for awhile but I wanted it to be a good final goodbye since its immortalized forever in a letter. If you share this with anyone I'll kill you by the way. Even in death I still have a reputation. Anyway...

Goodbye Kei

I love you

—Y/n L/n

A month had passed since she said goodbye I moved forward even though it hurt to not see her around school. It almost felt like she moved but that imagine was ruined whenever I visited her grave. "Hey Tsukki I didn't know you liked dinosaurs!" I sighed in irritation my eyes flicking towards Kuroo who was pointing at my wrist.

"Wow that's cool!" Bokuto joined in and my eyes drifted to the golden bracelet around my wrist. "It's not mine," I stated drinking my water. "Whos is it?" Akaashi asked and I sighed again. "My friend Y/n’s...She's gone now and I'd rather not talk about it," I said standing up and heading back to the net. None of them said anything more about it and I was grateful for that.

Later that night I closed my eyes and played the song that I had grown very familiar with. It was quiet except for the soft melody playing through my headphones. While my eyes were closed I felt the familiar pressure on my body like someone was laying on my chest. If I listened through my headphones close enough I could almost hear her soft voice humming the song. 

I knew in my brain it was impossible but for now I let my heart believe that it was her. I talked quietly about anything and everything that came to mind. The team was sleeping so I knew I could talk freely most of them slept like they were in a coma. I sighed as I reached the end of my story before I spoke once more.

"I miss you Y/n,"

————————————————————————

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

#haikyu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #whosaskingangst #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima angst

[shhhhyoursister]

okay im gonna post this right before i go to bed because i havent posted new stuff in a while and its like AHH but okay so here is the first of the unfinshied/unedited things ive written, and the first of the two lets say..... niche aus i have.....very niche and very exposing of how much of a loser i am!! 

i mentioned this one a few times and before everything got bad in the world i had so many ideas but here yall go here is my beloved davenzi pokemon au i hope all you other losers enjoy

(also please excuse all the brackets i write things out of order but always need to make notes of what happens in between)

Matteo pushed the door open, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and let out a loud yawn as he stretched an arm over his head. He raised the glass of Pinap juice to his mouth and took a sip, smiling around the rim as he looked out at the large meadow behind his house.

The berry trees were growing tall around the perimeter of the fence, patches of grass at various lengths sprouting out of the ground. The large pond off to the side had its own waterfall, a feature his mother was extremely proud of, and he could admit that it added a little something special to the space

It wasn’t much, but they  did what they could with what they had. It was enough for the Pokémon they cared for, at least. 

At that thought, he felt something tugging at his pants, and he glanced down and smiled at the Vulpix at his feet. Its teeth were caught in the fabric but he reached down to pat it on the head anyway, knowing that was just its way of greeting him. It let go and stood next to him, like it was expecting something.

“What do you want?” he asked, poking it lightly in the side with his foot, and laughed when it rolled onto its back and latched onto it with its paw, and tried to secure its hold with the leg that was missing one. Matteo got it off easy and it sprung back up, ready to play.

He rolled his eyes, and walked further out into the meadow, the Vulpix trotting along happily beside him. There were a few Pokémon that he needed to check on before breakfast for himself or the rest of the Pokémon roaming around the property, and he wanted to get it done fast because the Tauros with the bandage over its eye was snorting at him from over in its usual corner. He quickened his pace.

He was looking for the Luvdisc that his mother had found a few days before, alone and hungry in shallow water, and his eyes scanned over the mostly clear water, trying to catch any sign of the pink water-type swimming around. He saw it just as it darted around a Buizel and behind a rock, seeming to be in much better shape than the day before. He was about to turn and head to the small shed in the back where they kept some of the Pokémon in more serious condition, but he looked up when he heard the door slide open, and his mom call his name.

“Matteo, Jonas is here to say bye!” She yelled out, and he turned and started making his way back.

“I didn’t get to look at the Pachirisu yet.” He said, jogging up to her. She was smiling softly at him, her long brown hair pulled back in a bandana. She was holding a bowl in her arms, no doubt the breakfast she had been making for the Pokémon when he had come downstairs that morning

“Don’t worry about that, go see your friend, and wish him luck!” she said, walking out the back door, “He’s going to battle his next gym leader!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Matteo muttered as he walked past her, setting his glass down as he went. 

He found Jonas by the front door, six Pokéballs attached to his waist, and a large bag on his back. He had his Jigglypuff out of its ball by his side, and it started bouncing when Matteo got closer.

“Hey, Luigi!” Jonas exclaimed, pulling him in for a hug, and Matteo squeezed his arms around his backpack. The hug was bittersweet, and he almost didn’t want to let go. He didn’t have many friends in his little town, and his responsibilities at the Pokémon Sanctuary made it difficult to go too far.

“You feeling ready?” Matteo asked, knowing what Jonas was going to say. He had always been confident, and was getting through the gyms at a rapid pace.

“Of course, bro,” he said, grinning and punching Matteo in the arm, “I feel ready to battle anyone after beating that ghost-type gym leader. That was rough, it took me four fucking tries!”

Matteo nodded as Jonas went off. Matteo had heard the stories many times, not just from Jonas, but similar ones from other trainers in his town; the gym leader that happened to be the closest to them also happened to be one of the toughest. His Pokémon were strong, he was strong, but most importantly his connection to each of them was strong. He was admired, envied, and heavily respected.

Nobody knew anything about him, though.

The gym was off deep in the woods, off of one of the random routes running through their town. It was not only hard to find, but hard to navigate, as once one entered it was quite clear that the house was designed to keep people out. There were traps and dead ends and looping hallways that all just led back to the beginning, and Jonas said it took him hours to even find the staircase that led to the gym leader.

“I should be heading off if I want to get to the city before it’s dark,” Jonas said, and extended his arms for another hug. Matteo squeezed him again, and said his own goodbye before Jonas ruffled his hair and went out the door, the Jigglypuff following close behind. Matteo let out a sigh, and walked back through his house. 

“Matteo, can you come here a second?” he heard his mother call from the kitchen, and he sighed again and poked his head into the room.

“Yeah, mama?” He asked, itching to get back outside. He had been making progress with the skittish Ponyta that hid whenever anyone else came near it, and he had been wanting to see if it would eat out of his hand that morning.

“You seem sad,” she said, and he stopped himself from rolling his eyes and walked further into the kitchen as she continued, “you’re not usually sad when Jonas or your other friends go off to battle.”

“Yeah, well, I’m going to miss him,” he said, knowing that wasn’t all, “last time he left he didn’t come back for a month. And I haven’t seen Abdi or Carlos in longer than that, and I don’t even know where Amira is right now.”

His mother nodded. She had heard him say that before, note that as the reason he was upset anytime the idea of gyms or badges or battling was brought up. She walked over to him and put a hand on his cheek, and smiled gently.

“You know, if you want to take a break from this and train,  you can.”

Matteo closed his eyes. It was something she had offered before, and he knew that there was almost no way he would be willing to take her up on it. The sanctuary was too important to him, no matter how much he might’ve wanted a party of his own. He didn’t need his own Pokémon when there were dozens that needed him right at home.

“I’m not going to stop helping you here, mama,” Matteo responded as usual, “this is more important than winning a few gym badges.”

“You wouldn’t even have to stop if you don’t want to,” she said, patting him on the cheek and moving back over to the stove where she was cooking their breakfast, “if you want to do both, find some Pokémon from the sanctuary. I’m sure some of them would be more than happy to battle with you.”

Matteo laughed sarcastically, and then actually thought about what his mother said, and his mouth drew into a line. He didn’t know if he wanted to put that burden on any of the Pokémon that they were caring for, even though he knew in the back of his head that some would be willing and able. He thought about that little Vulpix that would follow behind him and nip at his heels, and the Butterfree that would always swoop over his head and chirp happily at him, and even the Tauros with the eyepatch liked him as long as he was fed.

“I don’t know,” he settled on, and then turned to the door, “I’m going to check on the rest.”

****

Later that night, Matteo was sitting out on the roof outside of his room, after climbing through the window. It looked out over the entire sanctuary, but it was too dark for him to see much. He could see some small ripples in the water in the pond, but beyond that the only thing he could make out were sounds. He could hear something, probably a Rattata or Sandshrew, scratching and digging around the grass, and the melodic chirps of a Kricketot. He heard the same Noctowl as before cooing quietly in one of the trees, and he closed his eyes as a breeze blew by.

They were the sounds he had grown up with. Matteo was raised out in the sanctuary more than he was inside his own home. His mother and father had opened it soon after getting married, had built it into something highly respected in their community. They had a large staff working with them and they would get multiple calls each day from people finding injured Pokémon out in the wild.

There were photo albums full of him as an infant being stared at by a confused Pikachu, being (very carefully) held by a Kangaskhan, laughing as a Ledyba flew overhead. Once he was old enough he started working alongside his parents, and everyone in town loved the Florenzi’s, the couple that would save wild Pokémon with their wild son by their side. 

When Matteo was around twelve, things went a little sour. His dad started talking more about battling, and gyms, and how cool it would be to go out and see the world beyond their small town. He tried to convince Matteo that they could go off and battle together, father and son, and when Matteo refused, his father had gone quiet. A few days later, he came down for breakfast to his mother crying, his father’s stuff gone, and six of the Pokémon from the sanctuary missing as well.

He took a deep pull from the joint in his mouth, remembering the fierce promise he had made to himself that morning; he would never, ever, leave his mother like his father did. Battling and gym badges weren’t worth it.

But there was something in the back of Matteo’s head that was starting to get louder as he sat there. Something saying that just going to one gym wouldn’t be the same; he could work at the sanctuary during the day, train with (willing) Pokémon at night, and in a few weeks make the short trip to the ghost-type gym. He wasn’t expecting that he’d win, no matter what gym he went to, but the desire for something more was unfortunately undeniable. Matteo hated what his father did, but could understand the urge to run away. 

He stubbed the joint out and took one more look at the sanctuary before going back inside and getting ready for bed. As he climbed under the covers, he realized he made up his mind. His first task for the morning, alongside his usual morning chores, was to see which Pokémon wanted to, and were able to, battle. 

****

[Matteo makes a party and its kind of a mishmash of misfits but it’s the best he can do because he doesn't want to go out and catch wild Pokémon especially when he has some that want to battle with him]

[He spends a few weeks training and it's really tough and they aren’t amazing but they're better than he expected, and he doesn't really get why they love him and listen to him the way they do]

[One day he decided that he's ready and he promises his mom that he's gonna be back that night and he goes off to find the ghost type gym]

[He finds the gym and it looks completely abandoned and he has to climb over a gate to get in but he does it and then he has to walk through this super creepy dark place and he's having a rough time and he's getting more and more scared and worried that he's in the wrong place and that what he's doing is a bad idea and that he should just turn around when-]

And then finally, a staircase.

Matteo saw it at the end of the hall and sighed in relief. He was exhausted, glad that his Pokémon were in their Pokéballs so they weren’t as tired as him. He wiped the sweat off of his brow, and then tied his bandana around his head to keep his hair out of his face as he walked towards the stairs. He placed his foot on the first one and winced at the loud creak that came from it. He walked up the stairs carefully, seeing a door as he got closer to the top.

He finally reached the top of the stairway, and his shoulders dropped when he saw the door. There was a board across it, blocking it off, and Matteo felt anger start to bubble up inside him. He had spent hours trying to find the fucking place, had banked on Jonas mentioning a staircase, and had gotten so hopeful when he saw it. He huffed and, like a child, kicked hard at the door. His jaw dropped when it swung open.

He carefully made his way inside, his eyes scanning around the large room, too dark for him to make anything out. There seemed to be a fog making it even harder to see, and he waved his arm in front of him to see if he could clear it away. He took a few steps, and then a few more, and was about to take another when he heard a quiet, “I’d stop there if I were you.”

Matteo’s head snapped up and he froze, unable to tell where the sudden voice came from. He could feel his breathing pick up, and he could even hear it in the silence that followed the voice, and was about to turn and bolt when he heard, also quiet but with a bit of a laugh under it, “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just didn’t want you to fall in.”

Matteo whipped his head around, trying to figure out what he was about to fall in, when it seemed like the fog seemed to thin. He looked around the room as details became clearer, the blueish-green tiles on the walls and the white, chipped paint, and he looked down at his feet and stumbled back a few steps; he was standing right at the edge of what seemed to be a huge, empty, swimming pool.

Well, almost empty. As the fog cleared, Matteo could make out a figure on the other side, who seemed to be sitting on the edge, their feet dangling into the empty space below. He watched the figure kick off the edge and land with a quiet sound a few feet below in the pool itself, and then they started coming closer.

Matteo felt himself get nervous. Not scared, like he had been initially getting to the building, and wandering around in the dark, and when he had first come into the room and seen the fog. He was nervous, because there was no way that this person wasn’t the gym leader, which meant that he was about to battle a gym leader. 

“Are you going to come down here?” The voice asked again, definitely coming from the approaching gym leader. 

Matteo took a breath before looking around and spotting a ladder that led down into the pool. He made his way over on shaky legs and got himself down as carefully as he could, landing hard on his feet and stumbling a little. He righted himself just as he heard the gym leader stop, and he took another deep breath before looking up.

And he huffed out that breath, because the man standing in front of him had to be a dream, or maybe there was a Pokémon there that had some kind of power that was making him hallucinate, because there was no other explanation for how he was so beautiful. And Matteo knew that he shouldn’t have been focusing on that, but he was only human, and he was very, very gay.

“You’re quiet,” the gym leader said, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling, “you are here to battle, right?”

“Yes, I am,” Matteo said quickly, grabbing a hand around one of the Pokéballs around his waist, “my first one.”

He wanted to slap a hand over his face for saying that. He didn’t think that was good information to tell the person that he was about to battle if he wanted to seem confident, not that that wasn’t already out the window with his obvious panic. He watched the gym leader smile bright, and he wished it didn’t make his stomach jolt the way it did.

“Aw, you chose me to be your first?” he asked, placing a hand over his heart, “I’m honored.”

Matteo smiled. He was funny at least, even if he was going to beat Matteo and his Pokémon within six rounds probably. 

“Mostly just out of convenience, this is the gym closest to me.” he explained, not really knowing how much he was supposed to be talking. He had no idea what he was doing, at all, but the gym leader didn’t seem to be rushing anything along.

“That makes sense, I’m not usually the first gym people come to. I don’t know why that is, though,” he stepped back and threw his arms out, “I try to make it nice, you know?”

Matteo snorted, “Yeah, that fence you have to hop to get in is really welcoming, and the board across the door really makes me feel at home.”

The gym leader laughed, and Matteo let himself laugh with him, losing a bit of the nerves he had coming in.

“Well, I’m glad you like it,” he said, and then grabbed a Pokéball seemingly out of thin air, threw it up and then as he caught it turned to Matteo and asked, “so, are you ready for your first battle? I’ll go easy on you.”

He said it was a slightly patronizing grin, so Matteo grabbed his own Pokéball in his hand, tilted his head with a sweet smile and said, “Don’t worry, you don’t have to.”

David looked happily surprised and nodded, and before Matteo could react he threw the Pokéball into the air, and a Mimikyu landed on the ground in front of him. Matteo looked at it in shock.

“You have a Mimikyu?” he asked, wanting to get closer to look. The Pokémon was looking at him, or at least the disguise part was, gently flopping around on top of the Pokémon it was concealing inside.

“Yeah, it was one of my first,” the gym leader said with a small smile, and then shook himself out of it and grinned cocikly, “which means it’s one of my strongest.”

Matteo nodded, and threw his own Pokéball into the air, Vulpix springing onto the ground in front of him. It looked ready, stanced and nose pointed at the Mimikyu in front of it. The battle started when the gym leader called out his first move.

And Matteo lost. Badly, and quickly, and if he wasn’t so worried about getting home so he could tend to his Pokémon he would've been more embarrassed. He dropped to his knees next to his Sandshrew as it trembled on the ground from the last attack laid on it by the gym leader’s second Pokémon.

“That was pretty good for a first try,” he heard echo through the room, and he looked up and pushed his sweaty hair out of his eyes.

“It wasn’t good. I wasn’t meant to be a trainer, and these Pokémon weren’t meant to battle. I should just give up.” He sighed, and held the Pokéball out so the Sandshrew could return to it and rest. He got up and dusted himself off, and saw the gym leader standing much closer than he had been.

“It’s not that you weren’t good, you just weren’t ready. You have a connection to these guys. I can see it.” the gym leader said earnestly, reaching his hand out. 

“That doesn’t mean they should be battling,” he sighed, “they’re all from the sanctuary me and my mom have. I shouldn’t have made them do this.”

“You weren’t making them do anything,” the gym leader said quickly, “seriously, you can tell they’re enjoying it because they’re doing it with you. I’ve been a gym leader for a while, you should trust me on this. I know Pokémon.”

“Well, so do I,” Matteo said with an angry huff, making his mind up again, “and I’m done battling.”

He turned, ignoring the disappointed look on the face of the gym leader, and climbed up the ladder before hurrying home.

****

[Matteo really doesnt think hes gonna go back but the pokemon were having fun and he kinda wants to see david again so he starts training again, gets a bit stronger and goes back]

He found it easier the second time, and made his way through it easier the second time too, as if he actually remembered the way through the crazy maze inside. When he got to the top of the stairs and saw the boarded up door again he snorted, and took a deep breath before pushing his way into the room again.

He was greeted by the same thick fog, the same tiles around the walls, the same chipping paint, but he knew to not take too many steps in. He figured the gym leader knew he came in, as the fog started clearing again once he was in the room, and he saw the same figure seated in the same spot on the edge of the pool.

“Oh, the boy from the Pokémon sanctuary!” the gym leader called out as he jumped down onto the pool tiles, “I’ve been expecting you.”

Matteo laughed and said, “I didn’t think I was coming back, how could you have been expecting me?”

“I could see it in your eyes,” the gym leader took a few steps closer, “you want to win. Or you want to prove something. No matter what it is, you have a reason to be here.”

Matteo smiled before making his way down the ladder and into the pool. His feet hit the tiles and he turned around so he could the gym leader, who he was getting very tired of only referring to as ‘the gym leader’.

“What’s your name?” he asked quickly, before he could think better of it, “Like, I know your whole thing is being mysterious but I have a feeling I’m going to be coming back here again.”

“Oh, so we’re already on a first name basis?” the gym leader asked, spinning around and a few steps towards the wall he had been sitting on, and he leaned his back against it, smiling.

“I just figured it’ll save us time later. Easier to do it now than in a month when it’ll be awkward.” He shrugged, offering a half smile. He tried to play it off as a joke, but he wanted to know.

He watched the gym leader smile, and then bite his lip and look down at the floor. He tapped his foot on the ground a few times before kicking off the wall and saying, “Okay, then. I’m David.”

Matteo smiled, nodded, quietly responded, “I’m Matteo,” and took a Pokéball off of his belt. 

#idk if im gonna tag these ahhh im just gonna leave it for now #it feels bittersweet posting this i had such fun ideas but #i just dont really see myself #writing fics any time in the near future #or continuing them #its sad but also i need to like focus on being a human ya know #hopeuflly more coming soon!!!!

[iinfortunii]

rules: code of conduct.

BEGIN.

Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I'm just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.

Updates will be made as required.

I. BASIC.

A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / Canon Divergent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Singleship / Mostly iconless / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly / Vaguely affiliated with the OP RP fandom.

B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from pestering me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.

C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

D. I track the tag #iinfortunii, although mentioning me works just as fine.

E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn't give you the right to harass me.

F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won't be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I'll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.

G. This is a heavily headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as more information is revealed about him, though I reserve the right to adjust the new information according to my interpretation of Deuce or simply ignore it, which is why I’m canon divergent.

H. If you'd like to turn an ask into a thread, you can turn it into a new post, or reblog from me, as I won't be using the Tumblr asks anymore due to the problems that come with formatting and such.

I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren't allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don't push me, because I won't hesitate to block.

J. No godmoding —only a minor is allowed if it moves a thread forward —or metagaming, please. Don't kill Deuce either, unless plotted beforehand, and most importantly, don't hold your muse back.

K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.

L. Just because I write something it does not mean I condone it. Please have this in mind and again, do not pester me about it. Any and all nsfw matters will be tagged accordingly. There will be triggering topics present, and you can know more about this on the section below.

M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I'll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.

II. TRIGGERS.

A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.

B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.

C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: violence || blood || death || drugs || abuse || knives || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc

D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.

III. INTERACTIONS.

A. Deuce won't like everyone. He might/will make wrong assumptions about your character. He will insult and bite back. He won't always be nice to those he likes. He does many things that serve his interests. You, as the mun, have no reason to take it personal, because I'm won't follow someone I don't like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I'll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.

B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.

C. Interactions with OCs related to canon characters will only take place as long as said OCs have a detailed about page. Personally, I'm not interested in the idea of an OC being blood-related to my portrayal, so I apologize in advance.

D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.

E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?

01. Spade / Whitebeard pirates (canon and original characters alike that i am MUTUALS with) will have a pre-established relationship as long as the other mun is comfortable with such idea, though that relationship will be limited to merely crewmates, unless discussed otherwise.

F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.

G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!

H. Mun does not equal muse, so don’t go assuming I’m a jerk simply because Deuce is an asshole from time to time. I’m set on the idea that I’ll give people the same treatment they give me —which is always nice and kind. Kudos to everyone for this ♡

I. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.

J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.

IV. SHIPPING.

A. Singleship, with the spot taken by daadzi, which means Deuce is no longer open for romantic relationships.

01. Under no circumstances, I will accept more romantic relationships once the spot is taken. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for / hitting on him, although I ask you to understand he will never respond with the same interest or will never react gently if he’s pushed too far.

02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I'll interact with duplicates with the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.

B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).

C. Please do not approach me if you wish our characters to have either a: one night stand or friends with benefits type of relationships. It won’t work out due to the nature of Deuce’s personality, and for that I apologize.

E. My ship has its own tag so you're free to block it if you don't want to see it on your dashboard. In addition, I'll also tag those posts with only the ship name for this very purpose.

F. Please do not force ships on me.

V. CELEBRATIONS.

A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Deuce’s birthday (not that he has one, to begin with). Obviously I will still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.

B. I won't be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.

VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.

A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.

B. Content makes me uncomfortable.

C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it's easy to find.

D. You do not have a proper tag system.

E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.

F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.

G. I have no interest / lost interest.

H. I'm constantly / only used as a meme archive.

I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.

VII. ABOUT BEATRICE.

She is not a real person. Her concept as Deuce’s (toxic) pseudolover is my creation and was somewhat inspired from the real life Beatrice Portinari. Do have in mind that Deuce doesn’t talk about her so your muse can’t simply approach him and ask about her unless they can go through his memories / read his mind / any capability alike or he speaks about her, though it won't take a genius to figure out that she's a product of his imagination.

You can read about her by clicking here -link to be added.

She serves as a lie to shield himself from the internalized homophobia he deals with up until meeting Ace.

NOTE: As stated previously, Mun =/= muse, but I too have been dealing with compulsory heterosexuality for far too long, so I'd like to apologize in advance for projecting a bit of that into my portrayal. I'll work so that this part makes sense with what we've been given from Ace's novel.

VIII. MISCELLANEOUS.

A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.

B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.

C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.

D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.

E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.

IX. FINISH.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it's nothing important, then I'll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.

Keanu Reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!

#pinned post. #long post #❝ —talking nonsense ; ooc #❝ —off to new adventures ; queue #ooc. #queue. #[ this is a very long post btw ]

[knightlcve]

[inhales] 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29 for roleplay habits!

roleplay habits: prime numbers edition.

-----

2. What's a grammer rule you notice other people ignoring the most?

back in ye olden days of tumblr when NSFW could be posted and XKit did its job, there was a trend for a while of writing everything in lowercase. that was a fun time. i don't really know otherwise fuchdysf

3. Are you proficient in any language outside your native tongue? Do you write characters that speak multiple languages?

nah, i only know english, but i have been interested in learning japanese and spanish. Gravel on the other hand is very much so fluent in different languages as its a part of her job (which is hard bc i dont speak anything besides english and i Do Not trust google translate gjvjvdh)

5. What time of day are you most productive in regards to writing?

about the same as when i first started writing, which is the afternoon to around the evening.

7. When roleplaying, do you pace yourself when answering replies or do you like to write for them as soon as you can?

mostly the latter, but i'll sometimes take my time if im stumped.

9. What is your average length/word count regarding roleplay replies? Does the length of your partner's replies matter? (i just realized you didnt put nine in there but you get it anyway bc im ass at math)

depends on how much my partner writes, because i will always try to match length, unless im just stumped on what more i can write in my reply and if it has any effect on the thread

11. What kind of formatting do you use? Is there any quirks or styles you prefer over others?

at the start of this blog, i was originally going to bold/italics the first three words in each sentence but i got lazy, so now i just bold locations and italicize names FHCJVDG

13. Are you more comfortable writing in a private or public space? Why or why not?

unless its NSFW, i usually keep to public space bc its what im used to so. i only really write NSFW on discord now bc its easier to manage and i know who im writing with.

17. Have you ever had a roleplay partner who helped you improve at something about your own writing quality?

its cheesy to say but every single person ive ever written with has imparted some kind of lesson ive learned from them, big or small. i dont always write with everyone just out of comfort but like. i was ass at writing until i met most of the people i have, and im still learning shit (like dont trust tumblr for fucking anything)

19. When publishing a body of work, are the amount of likes/replies important to you? Why or why not?

as an honest person? no. as a person who craves validation? yes. at the end of the day i'm proud of my own work, its moreso that i enjoy it when other people can enjoy my work too. i like making people laugh or have fun dhhkfsd

23. What subjects or genres do you find yourself becoming the most passionate about when you're writing?

if you couldn't tell from me playing gravel, i love exploring characters who are fundamentally broken in some way. characters who's flaws stem from the fact that they come from a place of suffering, or they have been hurt or had the people they trust break that trust. or even characters who have flawed or misguided views of the world, all those kind of traits that they have to grow past or unlearn and start to live happier. or maybe they never grow past it and fall into the self-destructive spiral of their lives.

so as you can tell, im very passionate sbout that.

29. Do you use a threadtracker or other methods to keep track of your threads other than drafts?

looks at my long list of owed replies.

looks at my empty drafts.

N O P E .

leave it all to good ol' "hey i can't remember do i owe you?". its not a good havit but its easier for me to ask or search for it bc like. whenever i see threads in my drafts or smth, it kinda discourages me from doing them? like i see them there and i go "oh yeah i'll get to that". and then i never get to that.

sorry for the long post yall im on mobile or i'd readmore it.

#❤ out of love; out of bounds. ( ooc. ) #mobile ;; #tsuugen

[brushes-of-sage]

Alchemy. It was the only thing that was uniting the princes of Arendelle. While a door had separated the two brothers for the past five years, Hugo found a way to still stay connected to his brother. It all started three years ago, when Hugo realized he was running out of things to do. Oh sure, there were plenty of things in the castle, but that number reduces *significantly* when you realize there’s no one to do these things with you. So, Hugo decided to take up alchemy again. (1/?)

Alright lemme try to see if the keep reading works:

He had stopped working with alchemy when Varian had disappeared behind that cursed door, since alchemy was just another painful reminder of the brother he felt he lost. It was one of the brothers' favorite things to do, along with… along with... well, Hugo couldn’t really remember. The more he tried thinking about things he did with his brother that wasn’t alchemy, he got nothing, just laughter and a small headache. But, the number of things to occupy his time were getting thin.

So, he decided to give alchemy a try. This turned out to be a great decision. Not only did it serve as a distraction, but it served as something to keep his mind going. This distraction worked well for a few weeks until he hit a roadblock. He was trying to perfect an alchemical ice bomb that he had started when he was younger, but could never finish. But nothing seemed to be working. After staring at his disaster of a note pile for the better part of an hour, a little voice in his head said,

“You could go to Varian for help”

“No,” he snapped back, “If Varian wanted to help me or be there for me, he would leave his room. Clearly he doesn’t want to talk to me, or anyone for that matter.” Hugo didn’t want to admit it, but he was starting to get a bit mad at Varian. They were the best of brothers for years, and then just one day, Varian just shuts himself in his room, without a single word as to why. He laid his head on his desk and sighed. “Ah, who am I kidding? I’m going crazy just sitting here, I need to talk to someone, even if its nothing more than alchemy notes.”He gets up, grabs his notes, and starts to make his way to a door he passed by and stared at a million times before. On the way though, his mind is going through a back and forth battle: He wont wanna talk to you! Yes, he does, we havent spoken in forever! I wonder why? Besides its just some alchemy help, I’m not asking anything too extreme! All he has to do is fix a couple equations! What if he tears it up and ignores it, just like he has you these past few years? After this comment, Hugo ended up backtracking back to his room. He’d go tomorrow. Right?

Wrong. It took him three weeks before he found himself staring at the door that plagued his existence for two years now. He raised his hand to knock, and before he could back out, knocked twice and slid the notes through the crack under the door. He started anxiously pacing, his mind going back to the constant battle in his mind that had been raging for the past 3 weeks. After a couple minutes of pacing, Hugo was just about to leave when he heard 2 knocks, and paper slide back under the crack. Instantly, the flurry of anxious thoughts started up again, worrying it would come back blank or with a note saying Varian wouldn't help him. His hands shook as he opened the notes to reveal.. the completed solution. He read the solution 2 3 4 times before a huge smile spread across his face and he laughed a huge genuine laugh he hadn’t used in two years. These notes meant 2 big things: One, he finally had a solution to an alchemy problem he’d had since he was nine. And two, the more important one in Hugo’s opinion, is that his brother doesn’t hate him. That scary thought had crossed his mind multiple times and he had always quickly shot it down, but there was always that one tiny voice who would always say, “But, does he though?” Now, that voice was as good as dead. Varian didn’t hate him. He wasn’t giving him the *total* silent treatment. Maybe he could work up from here, have conversations through the door, send notes, maybe even ask why he was doing any of this in the first place.Just as he’s about to leave for his lab to finish the ice bombs with the now completed formula, Hugo heard two knocks on the door and stopped. He wasn’t expecting anything else. He looked at the bottom of the door and saw a small stack of papers slide under and he picked them up. It was a stack of alchemy notes titled “Melting Bomb” The notes were full of blank spaces and question marks and there was a note attached that said:

Hugo-Please assist me in completing this formula for a melting alchemy bomb. I have been on and off of this project for the past few years, and some assistance would be much appreciated. Thank you.-Varian

As excited as Hugo was that his brother was reaching out to him, and actively looking for his help, he couldn’t help but feel a bit…disappointed at the formality of the note. As if Hugo were some stranger that Varian had just met and had to put up formalities and not his own brother. Nevertheless, he shouts a quick “Be right back!” and dashes off to his room to grab a quill and inkwell. While he runs, he reads over the notes and finds the answer fairly quickly. It wasn’t all that hard, it just was in desperate need of a fresh set of eyes. He scribbled down the answers as quick as possible, not wanting to keep Varian waiting. He runs back to Varians room, knocks 2 times and slips the notes under the door. After a couple of minutes, he hears a soft gasp, the quick scratching of a quill, and a new note being shoved under the door. Hugo picked up the note and stared at the messy handwriting and smiled. This was the big brother he remembered. Thanks for the help! Now go work on your project! This went on for the next few months with notes. Sometimes it wasn't just alchemy they talked about. It started simple, like “How’s your day going” and things like that.

Then it slowly evolved to things like “Get some rest Haristripe” and “You haven’t eaten yet today have you, Hugo?” (Both weren’t exactly the best at self care, especially when they were caught up in their work). The day Hugo finally heard Varian talk was one of the best days of his life. Obviously, he had heard his brother talk before, but it had been years since they had spoken, and as the time passed, Hugo’s memories of Varian’s voice faded. Plus, with the time passing, he knew his voice would have changed. So, when Varian finally said a soft “Thank you”, Hugo’s face lit up with a huge smile. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, Hugo treasured every word he said, committing them to memory. For a while, things were going great. Until one fateful day, when Hugo pushed his luck just a *bit* more than he probably should have. The day started out normal enough, Hugo worked on some experiments he didn’t finish last night, ate some lunch, and then after lunch he grabbed his notes that needed Varian’s help, and started making his way to his room. However, on the way, he realized that as happy as he was to be able to talk to Varian, it didn’t feel *right*. A relationship based solely on notes slipped under a door and minimal verbal talking felt like a false one. What Hugo wanted to know more than anything, was *why*. Why had Varian shut him and the rest of the world out? If it was so necessary, why hadn’t he at least attempted some form of contact? This one word question had plagued Hugo’s mind ever since the door had closed, and he had never really had the confidence to ask it: until now.

So, he went back to his room and wrote out a letter. It was simple, a little more formal than usual, but to the point. It read: Varian- We’ve been talking with each other for a while now, and I feel we are at a point where I can ask this question: Why? Why have you locked yourself in your room and away from the rest of the world? Was it something I did? You can answer as vaguely or specifically as you like, I just would really like some answers. Thanks, Hugo

His hands shook as he folded the letter and slid it under the door. He knew to give Varian a little extra time, this wasn’t just a simple math problem. So Hugo waited. And waited. And waited, until it was dinner time and his stomach forced him to get some food. The whole time, his mind was at war with itself once again: See? You just had to push your luck, didn’t you? He’s giving you the cold shoulder ‘cause you couldn’t leave well enough well enough. No! He’s not giving me the cold shoulder, he’s just taking his time to formulate a response. It’s probably a really long story. Keep telling yourself that. I will! ‘Cause it’s true! If the positive side of Hugo was right, Varian sure was taking his sweet old time, because it was 3 weeks before anything happened. Three weeks of absolute silence from the older prince. The only reason things changed was because Hugo took the brave first step of sliding alchemy notes through the door. Five minutes later, it came back with notes and edits. There were no additional quips, remarks, or any explanations like he had requested three weeks earlier, but this was better than silence. They soon fell back into the routine they had before: notes, minimal verbal communication, and various quips. It felt good to get back to that routine, but a small part of Hugo still ached for answers that he feared would never come. But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.(20/20)

((And there it is! The final part! I hope u enjoyed reading it, this is the first time ive really written something i didnt hate *and* am sharing this with someone. Thank you for taking the time to read this, this means more than u know. Thank you also for letting me take over ur inbox😅Next up im doing this story but w/ varians pov, which ive already started. Thx again! -💙

Ahhhhhh, first off, sorry for getting to this later than I usually do!! These past few weeks have been hectic and I’ve been needing to take a step back and focus more on school and classes and stuff, but I finally got to reading this and OMIGOSH I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

(Hope you don’t mind if I just added in some italics and kinda changed the formatting to make it easier to read - didn’t take anything off or anything, but the way tumblr formats asks is a bit weird lol, hope that doesn’t offend you! - also number 7 somehow went missing? 😅)

But OMIGOSH YO - just my heart akfjajdjaj 🥺 The two of them building their relationship slowly through passing letters underneath the door? Oh my heart, and the way you can just feel them getting closer and happier because of it?

But then Hugo asking Varian the why - why did he shut him out, why was he behind the door, why can’t they see each other - and then Varian just suddenly going back to that stiff and formal demeanor after that akfjakfjja I cry ahhhhhhh-

“But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.” - JUST RIP MY HEART OUT BLUE NONNIE AHDKGKAKJD

I absolutely loved seeing Hugo’s hesitance then excitement and eagerness to get closer to his brother whom he barely even knows besides a few memories (and ha, I see the headache there 👀) and only to see that he went too far and the fragile bond they’d forged again had melted and akfjakfjaj the FEELS-

Thank you for sharing and for letting me read your writing! I’m excited to see what you’ve got next for Varian’s POV!!! 😱

#sage answers #💙 #frozen au #7k frozen au #not my fanfic #varian and the seven kingdoms #Varian #hugo #alchemy bros #honestly though I love your writing and this made me feel things akfjakfjja #edited to add the final 7th piece

[honeymoonjin]

Chapter Eleven

Summary: When you hear that your recently deceased grandmother left you her property in her will, at first you think that a dinky old cottage in the middle of nowhere isn’t going to mean much for you. But after spending a night there, you discover something far more valuable than the house itself: a hidden door that leads to another time, the same place but over 200 years in the past. In the late 18th Century, there is a king who will die before his 21st birthday unless you can save him. Will you help him, even if it means leaving your own life behind?

A/N: This chapter is a little different, it’s in Yoongi’s point of view. I was going to make it Chapter 10.5 since it kind of occurs alongside Chapter 10 chronologically, but I didn’t want anyone thinking it wasn’t necessary to the plot, because it definitely is. Let me know what you think!

--

"Can't you just let me go with you, hyung? I'll be good!"

This kid. Yoongi shakes his head firmly, hurriedly grinding some herbs together for a last-minute clarity charm. "You mess up enough here as it is. I can't leave something like this up to you. Besides, Y/n specifically asked for me to go, didn't she?"

The shaman tries to ignore the way Taehyung fixes his puppy dog eyes on his elder. "But what will I do when you're gone? I'll be all bored and alone."

Tipping the ground herbs into a small vial, Yoongi's voice is flat as he makes sure the vaguely green dust makes its way into the vessel. "Then go back to the palace and keep Y/n company. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. Alright, I need to leave. Be sure to leave the portal door open, but lock the front door with the hex charm; do you remember it?"

Taehyung seems affronted at the suggestion. "Of course I can do a hex charm, Yoongi. I'm not incompetent, you know..."

Yoongi straightens up and stares at the boy who's pouting in the kitchen. Feeling a sliver of guilt, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Listen," Yoongi says, voice gruff but apologetic, "I'm just making sure. I'm trying to keep you safe."

"Forget about it," Taehyung mutters under his breath, studiously ignoring his elder as he grabs an apple for the road and shrugs on a coat. "I'm going, like you wanted."

Yoongi winces when the heavy wooden door slams behind his assistant, and he stands in silence, listening to the the light scrape of Taehyung’s fingernail against the door, paired with the muttering of an ancient Chinese spell. Most of the magic Yoongi used nowadays were more modern Korean methods, but for the more basic enchantments, it was common to use the original spells.

Finally, all was quiet again. Yoongi cleared his throat to try and break the melancholic gloom he had slipped into, and double-checked the minimal belongings on his person before he left. He was not going to be in the modern world long, would not even have to leave the confines of the house itself, but Yoongi never went anywhere without a small leather pouch of basic ingredients tucked into his belt, the glass vial of a clarity charm dangling on a cord around his neck, and a small blade in his boot. All things proceeding as planned, he wouldn’t need them.

The first thing Min Yoongi noticed about the future was how clean and bright everything was. Gone were his heavy curtains, dark walls and sooty hearth. He emerged out into a hallway (something only palaces were large enough to have in his time, but he was familiar with them nonetheless) with a strange spongy fabric floor and impossibly straight, flat walls that appeared painted uniformly. He couldn’t imagine the finesse it would take a painter to manage to evenly coat this expansive surface without leaving streaks. Perhaps magic was more commonplace in this day.

Yoongi had been here once before, to lure Y/n back to his time, but he had transformed into a cat, then, and it was the middle of the night, rather than the break of day. Unsure which direction to go, he followed the hallway left, until he made it to the very end. “She said the communication device was in her sleeping quarters. Here, she wrote down some instructions for its use.” Yoongi felt for the note again in his pocket, comforted by the crisp edge of the thick paper. He had read that note to the point of rote-memory, but was glad it was there anyway. All Yoongi had to do was locate a bedroom, and then the ‘phone’ would be on a wooden stand beside it. He was actually feeling some excitement unfurl within him to find this device; from Y/n’s description, it sounded like a very complexly enchanted item.

As Yoongi made his way from room to room methodically, ignoring everything that wasn’t a bed (even though he was desperately curious to try out the bath – something he recognised from his time, but seemed far more refined) he thought over his previous encounter with Taehyung.

Was there really such a need for Taehyung to take everything to heart all the time? That boy was too sensitive for his own good. It would get him hurt one day.

When Taehyung and Yoongi met, almost three years ago, the shaman wasn’t looking for anyone. In fact, he had sworn off ever taking an assistant again after… what had happened with the last one, but Taehyung was insistent. His parents didn’t want him working on their farm anymore, he had said, and the King’s Guard wouldn’t take him in. He would have nowhere else to go. Perhaps Yoongi should’ve seen that as a sign that the boy wasn’t a particularly capable worker, but instead he had opened his arms and welcomed him in. He never had been able to say no to a pretty face. Yoongi thought maybe that was his biggest flaw yet.

Behind the fourth or fifth door, past the small door in the wall from whence he came, Yoongi found a bed, wider and more lushly decorated than the modest shelf-and-blanket combination he had. Letting out a gasp of relief at the chance to distract himself from the memories of his assistants, he rushed forward into the room, scanning it for a wooden stand.

Directly to the right of the bed is a short, squarish cabinet. On top is a small metal box with glowing red numbers, a very glossy and crisp book, and a small black device. Yoongi consults with the slip of paper, and tentatively touches the tip of his finger to a protruding button. Gasping with wonder as the surface lights up, Yoongi realizes there are words on the screen, all gathered in small boxes. He takes the time to read some of them, having to re-press that button as the screen keeps going dark after a few moments.

   Jimin, 8:21pm: r you still busy at the house? can u please just text me back baby, if ur busy thats okay, im just a little worried out u, thats all… it’s getting late…

   Jimin, 10:49am: okay, im heading off to work, flick me a text when u get this xxx

   Jimin, yesterday 5:11pm:  we dont have to if you don’t want to

   Jimin, yesterday 4:28pm: date night tonight? xxx i feel like i havent seen you in ages baby xxx

There are more, but they disappear out the bottom. Yoongi frowns. He thinks he remembers this Jimin; if memory serves, it was the sleeping male curling up to Y/n when he briefly visited her dreamscape. Yoongi had been so caught up in making sure she fulfilled her end of the deal that he had almost forgotten she had a life outside of their time. Those messages were a sobering reminder of how much Yoongi was asking from her. How much she was giving up. He didn’t like that feeling.

Clearing his throat noisily in the early evening silence, he picks up the device delicately and places it on the bed, flattening out the note beside it. Y/n’s instructions make sense as he follows along, although it takes him a while to work out what she means by ‘text bubble icon’.

Once he reaches that screen, and clicks on the name ‘Jimin’, those same messages appear, but in a different format. “I’ve already seen these,” he tells the device. The device does not respond. “I seek to create one of my own.” He sighs. The magic on this glass apparently cannot react to voice, only touch. He reaches out and clicks on the small white box that says ‘iMessage’ in grey. “Yes, I do want to message,” he mumbles distractedly. A large array of small letters appears below. Y/n wrote down to tap each square to write the letter. It seems an awfully impersonal way of writing, and it takes Yoongi quite a long time to tap out what Y/n has asked him to write, as well as pressing a small blue arrow to the right, which pushes the message upwards, resting directly below those from the Jimin.

   omg im so sorry i missed these jiminie ㅠ ㅠ i hope ur not too worried.

   im ok, just not been feeling great so ive been sleeping a lot! im not sure yet if its contagious so pls dont come out, i know uve got that show coming up and i dont want u to get sick ok!

   love you lots baby!

Yoongi sighs once he finishes, resting back on the bed, but soon three bouncing dots appear in a box. He watches them dance, fascinated, wondering what this could mean, until they change into words. Y/n did tell him that Jimin would be likely to reply and had simply written on the bottom of the note, ‘no apostrophes, or capital letters, call him baby or jiminie, and make sure he doesn’t come out to the house!’

   Jimin: omg thank god ur safe i was worried!!! i can bring u round some fresh soup and we can have a night in xxx ive already had my flu jab so i wont get sick i promise lol xx

Yoongi swears, trying to speed up his reply, double-checking Y/n’s rules as he goes.

   thank you, baby, thats very kind of you. but please dont come out, im just going to go to sleep and hope that this sickness passes in time. i will notify you once

But before he can finish crudely dictating a message, a series of three hard raps echoes through the house. Yoongi stands up ramrod stiff. Surely the Jimin boy hadn’t arrived so soon? Although, Yoongi supposes transport must be more efficient in this time. He bites his lip nervously. Surely, it would be best to go ask him to leave. It was Y/n’s intention that Jimin did not come to the house, since she herself was absent, and Yoongi could not have the boy roaming around and discovering the portal’s entrance.

“Y/n?” a deep voice calls out, muffled through the walls. Yoongi swears under his breath and pockets the small device and the note, getting off the bed to go find the front door. “Are you there?” Hurrying faster, the shaman eventually locates a door with a clouded glass panel revealing a tall shadow. He fumbles with the doorknob, having to twist a key (thank God that technology hasn’t changed) to unlock it, and throws it open with a nervous huff. The man blinks once, furrowing his eyebrows. “Uh…hi?”

“Yes, hello,” Yoongi blurts out hastily, eyes roaming over the tall man. Although he saw Jimin in very dim lighting, it’s easy to tell that this is not the same man. “Who are you?”

The man is wearing rough-looking blue pants with a belt, and a tunic that’s cut at his hips instead of his legs. He holds a hand out to Yoongi. Yoongi stares at it until the man coughs and lowers it. “My name’s Namjoon. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’m just here to speak to Y/n.”

“What-” Yoongi’s words catch in his throat when he lifts his gaze from the man’s odd attire to his face. It can’t be. A bolt of deeply-repressed hurt cuts through him. He recognizes those dimples, that smile, even the name is the same as his. It was a face he never thought he’d see again. But, no. It isn’t him. The more Yoongi looks at him closely, the man going a little red in the cheeks under the sudden scrutiny, Yoongi can see the finer details aren’t right. His Namjoon had a narrow nose, more delicate face. His Namjoon wasn’t as tall and was skinnier too. This man in front of him bore shocking resemblance, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his Namjoon. Sensing he had been silent too long, Yoongi blinks away the tears that threaten to well. “What for?”

“Oh, uh, it’s kind of private business, dude. Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Y/n’s sick,” Yoongi says instead, “so I’m afraid you can’t come in. I’m more than happy to pass on a message.”

The man who looks so much like his former assistant furrows his brows. “I’m sorry, who are you? I’d like to speak with her. I’ve been doing some more research for her, you see, really cool stuff on-”

“I’m her doctor,” Yoongi says instead, “I’m concerned she may be contagious, so I’ve advised her not to have guests. If you have the research with you, perhaps I can bring it inside. I’m sure she’d appreciate you coming.”

The guy laughs awkwardly, then digs into a bag at his side for a stack of pieces of paper bound in some floppy, slippery pink material. “I didn’t have time to pick up a ringbinder, so the photocopies are loose, but I managed to dig up quite a bit of the history on the Jeon reign, as well as all the following generations. It’s interesting! Hopefully she’ll get some use out of it.” The man hands the research over, craning his neck to try and glance down the hallway. “Can you tell her hi for me? And that I’m sorry for stopping by without texting ahead.”

Yoongi nods, half in a daze. He doesn’t know this strange feeling in his chest; does he want this Namjoon-not-Namjoon man to leave and never think about him again, or does he wish he would stay so that Yoongi can see just how much similarity there was? The thought comes too late, as the man turns and skips down the gravel path, getting into his car and pulling away without a second look back.

The shaman shuts the door, returning the key to its previous position, and sinks down on the floor. First Taehyung acting up, reminding him of his last assistant, and now this. The fates were being cruel today.

Forgetting about the small device still in his herbs pouch, Yoongi quickly returns to the hallway and crawls through the doorway and back into his own time, trying to ignore the hot tears that gather under his chin.

--

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[that-nonbinary-ass]

Stars

I got the inspiration from an avengers oneshot

Have some patton angst

1 year before death 

Dear diary: I believe that stars shine brighter when your about to die i had always believed that, but now that i am actually closer to death then ever before, nothing could be more true

Only 2 days ago i found out that i have an undiscovered disease that could kill me very soon if they don't find a cure. I have surprisingly come to terms and accepted the fact that I might die, it's not like I want to die, but I guess there is no way to avoid it, I just have to hope that they find a cure so i don't have to die 

I'm not going to tell anyone yet, not until its definite that im going to die or not. I really hope I don't die because virgil (my boyfriend) his mum died the other day and I don't want to hurt him even more

The doctors don't know how fast this disease will kill me or how fast its spreading

Patton~ 

11 months before death    

Dear diary: The doctors haven't said anything about my illness yet, but that's fine, I believe they are doing their best!

I think the others notice i'm acting more secretive lately, i need to learn how to act better. Every time they come up to me and ask what's wrong i just assure them that i'm all good 

Is it good to lie to them? Am I being mean by not telling them? Or am i just sparing their feelings?

Patton~ 

9 months before death 

Dear diary: The doctors still haven't said anythig but im not giving up hope, I believe they can do it 

I think ive finally managed to convince the others that i'm fine because they have stopped asking me but they do have this weird look in their eyes when they see me 

Me and virgil went on a date last night and we had loads of fun. We went bowling then we went to the super fancy restaurant across the road then  we went to the arcade and played games till about 2am. I don't think im going to tell him yet ...I don't want to hurt him

Patton~ 

8 months before death 

Dear diary: I refuse to give up hope, so what if the doctors haven't gotten back to me yet, maybe they're still too busy with the medicine, but I am having doubts, I want to believe that they are trying to help me.

The others are starting to get worried about me but I always tell them to not worry, they don't believe me though, I think their thinking of getting me to the doctor to see whats wrong. I don't know what to do because I don't want them to know, I don't want them to pity or treat me any differently then I am now.

Now days my gut always feels weird, like im always sick, it's a little worrying but i have to push through and look after my kiddos and boyfriend 

It's a bit like acting now, i always have to act ok, like my gut isn't telling me to stop what im doing. Oh well, I hope the doctors find a cure soon

Patton~ 

6 months before death 

Dear diary:  Things are starting to get bad, it has gotten harder to breath and i now have blood patches showing up on my skin on my stomach, I always feel like im going to throw up and it's making it really hard to sleep at night. I went to the doctors to ask what's happening, they said that my stomach was internally bleeding and that they are trying really hard to find a cure. I really hope they do because i'm getting really scared, i don't want to die 

I’ve started going out at night and looking up at the stars just admiring their beauty. Any day now feels like my last day, and that just makes me appreciate the memories more, i try not to cry but it's so hard, the thought of leaving life and making your loved ones hurt, its heartbreaking 

I still haven't told anyone, i don't want to worry them but i will have to soon because i don't want to die and them not to know how i did

Patton~ 

4 months before death

Dear diary:  Everything has gotten hard. breathing, eating, sleeping, talking and even walking, it sucks, i think i might tell someone soon. They all know there is something wrong with me. I've got blood patches all over my skin i am always sleep deprived and pale.

I think i’ll tell virgil, i know that he is the most anxious but i trust him the most, he is my boyfriend after all

It's all very scary. Not knowing what will happen. What it's like after you die, i feel like i've given up hope on the cure. I should just accept death and move on, but I can't, it's not that easy, i wish it was though 

Patton~ 

2 months before death 

Dear diary: I told them all a month ago. I told virgil first he sat there and stared off into space with constant tears in his eyes and traveling down his face, he looked so heartbroken. After about 3 minutes he tackled me into a hug and sobbed into my shirt 

I told roman next he instantly started sobbing and hugging me. He kept telling me he didn't want me to go. I told him I didn't either but it was inevitable.

I told logan last, he looked at me and did the unexpected he started crying. The emotionless logan started crying. He hugged me and told me that they will all look after me until the final day 

It makes me feel so happy that they are all there for me 

After I told them all we went out and layed on the grass looking at the stars talking about past memories and how it all changed. I eventually fell asleep outside with them 

Patton~

1 month before death 

Dear diary: I am basically bed-ridden. I can hardly walk anymore and i makes me so sad that I have to rely on the others to do my things for me 

Nowadays I'm always in pain. Just moving my arm up brings me immense pain, like someone is repeatedly stabbing my arm or burning it over a naked flame. It's not fair what did I do to deserve this? Nothing that's what. The universe is just cruel. Making people go through pain any form of pain is mean 

The doctors said that they won’t be able to find the cure fast enough to give it to me and let me live they said they were very sorry. Them telling me that put it all into perspective. I'm going to die. And that fact is absolutely terrifying. I cry myself to sleep each night because im that scared 

Patton~  

Death day

Dear diary… Today is the day, I can feel it. I'm going to die today. I've gone back and marked the dates of my previous entries, I've written my goodbye notes and im now ready to go with the people I love around me I have accepted the fact that I will die. But it won't be a peaceful death. It's going to be painful, well i think it is because thats what im feeling right now, pain, more then ever before, it feels like my body is being ripped open and chopped into tiny pieces and i can feel it all. Its torture.

So here I lie under the stars with all my loved ones watching them as they sparkled in the sky. I felt my end coming closer as i watched on and i can prove the theory that stars do shine brighter as your about to die.

They looked like a million little fireflies in the sky and it was hypnotizing making me forget everything that has happened over the past year, if only for a second.

If you're logan roman or virgil reading this after I die. Just remember i love you so so much 

Goodbye

Patton~ 

Virgil finished reading patton's diary and he felt so empty. it's been a whole year since patton had past and he was going through his old stuff when he stumbled across patton's diary, he read it and felt so bad, he didn't know the pain patton was going through, he hid it well, tears fell down his face as he thought of all the good times they had together, all the late night cuddles, all the cookies and baking lessons, everything and virgil missed it all, pattons smile, his laugh, the way he stumbled over his words when he was nervous. But he was gone and he couldn't bring him back, no matter how hard he tried.

He closed the book and put it back in the box, got up and went outside and curled up in patton’s sweater and fell asleep under the stars, thinking that patton was up there watching over him, like his own guardian angel. 

But all he wanted was patton back 

But The universe doesn't always give you what you want.

#patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #duke sanders #princey sanders #anxiety sanders #remus sanders #morality #anxitey #creativity #logic #moxiety

[shikastemari]

spy - n. u.

pairing naruto uzumaki x yamanaka!reader

request

word count 4,895

when it happens after Pain destroyed the Village

warnings THE ANGSTIEST SHIT I’VE WRITTEN IN MY LIFE

a/n this is actually one of the first stories i’ve ever thought about. i wrote it months ago but just now i decided to give it a chance and post it and yeah, i gor a little carried away while writing it.

btw i’m witnessing the biggest writer’s block i’ve been through and that’s why i haven’t posted anything lately. hopefully it’ll be gone soon enough and i’ll be back to write as easily as i used to.

masterlist on my profile bio

Naruto Uzumaki.

The first time you heard his name was in one of your missions. You were spying some old guy who was owing bad people money, and you had heard Naruto's story by accident. The guy who defeated the leader of the Akatsuki all by himself, even someone as the legendary Sannin Jiraiya couldn't. During the time, you have heard a lot of girls sigh in desire for the boy, as also heard a lot of man being inspired by him - to become even stronger than people said he was.

So, when you finished your mission, it was no surprise for you someone decided to hire you to dig some dirty on Naruto. You have never accepted a mission on Konoha before, keeping your boundaries up since you know your uncle and his family still lived there, and you would never do anything to hurt your blood. But the offer was too good to decline.

Last time you have seen your uncle and cousin, you were six. Your mother was a foreign and her pregnancy had so many complications. The day you were born, she made a promise, she would take you back to her country, to become a ninja there. Your father, the brother of the Yamanaka clan leader, was madly in love with her and never said a single no at her direction. When the time came, not only he didn't fight against your mother taking you away, as he decided to leave the village himself. Uncle Inoichi helped him, knowing it was the only thing he could do to help his brother achieve happiness, but in the process, your father ended up being labeled as a rogue ninja.

The Bamboo Village was a nice place to live, and your parents were always happy there, even though you missed your old life and family deeply. You had a cousin, who also had the same age as you, so you two had grown up together and she was basically a sister to you. Leaving her behind was the hardest thing you wish you had encountered in your life, but it wasn't.

Your mother died a year after you moved country. Her disease was unknown, the doctors said they couldn't do anything but to ease her pain until the time comes. That was what you and your father did. Took care of her, stood by her side, until she was gone. To these days, you still missed her deeply. As honoring your mother wishes, you and your father didn't go back to Konoha after her death. Instead, your father taught you everything he could about the family jutsus, and it made your heart melt every time he told you how good you could become. Maybe better than him. Or even Uncle Inoichi.

He passed away five years after that, on a battle against the Land of Lightning. Even though you wanted to stay in Bamboo Village, you knew you wouldn't survive there. So that when you started to use your jutsus in espionage. You went city from city, village from village, country from country, learning from the best. The requests came right after. In your line of work, you kept your name hidden. You didn't want to drag the Yamanaka name to the mud, or even give something to your enemy to use as an advantage against you, wishing you could always keep your reminiscent family safe.

So, when your feet took you back to Konoha's, you couldn't help but feel sick. Regret and worry filled your whole body, since you counted with your family accepting you with open arms, but you knew it was a shot in the dark. Since Pain's attack which destroyed the entire village, you didn't exactly know where the Yamanaka clan was staying, so you followed your plan and walked around the village, asking if someone knew where Ino Yamanaka was.

It didn't take long, actually. Apparently, she was a recognized and respected kunoichi and you couldn't stop feeling a little jealous. What would they think about me if I have stayed? The thought flooding your head as you walked towards the place a girl told you Ino would be.

She was sitting on a pile of wood, with seven ninjas surrounding her. They were laughing and talking about how stupid what someone named Rock Lee have done to an old lady. When your eyes laid on her, you felt your heart skipping a beat. She looked exactly like before, the only thing which was different was her hair, it was so long.

A guy with the Byakugan was the first to notice you, which didn't actually surprise you at all. You have heard about what those eyes could do. Looking around them, you could see there was also a girl who could use it. This group look like they would be a pain in your ass if you didn't pay close attention at them.

"Can we help you?" A pink haired girl asked, and your eyes widened for a second. That was Sakura? No way.

As your eyes passed through their faces, you started to recognize some of them. Shikamaru was standing next to Ino, with Choji by his side. You also recognized Kiba, who you remember having an innocent crush on, because of Akamaru, which was huge now. Your heart was literally shrinking inside you by that view, already pondering the pros and cons about ignoring the mission you had been given. But you could not give up now, there was too much involved.

"Staring is creepy, have your family never taught you that?" Ino questioned, her eyes narrowed at you.

You shook your head, smiling. "You would know, Ino-nee-chan, still a bitch, I see?"

Ino's eyes popped up as she gasped, taking her hands to cover her mouth. Everyone else were just shocked by the way you talked to her, but you were sure she recognized you. Once she got up from the wood she was sitting and ran in your direction, giving you one hell of a tight hug, you felt your body relax for the first time in a long time.

"Nee-chan!" she said between the tears, it took every strength in your body not to do the same. It was still a mission, the hardest one you have been to, but still a mission. "I thought I would never see you again!"

"Wait, is that y/n-chan?" Kiba asked out loud. "Holy shit, you got hot!"

Ino and you laughed as Sakura punched the poor guy, sending him meters away from where he originally was standing. So, Sakura had a monstrous strength, just like you heard Tsunade-sama having.

"Daddy will be so happy when he sees you! Where is y/f/n-ojisan? I've missed him so bad too!" she exclaimed.

You swallowed hard, knowing too well there was no way to dodge this moment. "Mhm," you shifted your weight from one leg to the other. "My dad died when I was 12, during a battle."

"Oh," she said, the air getting heavier around you. "And why you haven't contacted us after that, y/n-nee-chan?" she asked, her tone clearly hurt. "We could have helped you."

Another question you predicted. "I tried to honor my mother's wish for as long as I could but..." you trailed off, breathing deeply to keep going. "I just wanted to be with my family again."

She hugged you again, crying her eyes out. Shikamaru came closer and pushed the girl from you.

"Ino, what a drag, let her breathe for a second," Shikamaru eyed you, from head to toe. You remember him being very - very­ - smart when you were kids. His eyes stopped on your lips, and you noticed his cheek blushing. Pressing your lips together to repress a smile, you couldn't push away the memory of you accidentally kissing him while playing one of Ino's idiot games. It was your first kiss, and probably his too. "Eh, welcome back, y/n-chan," he scratched the back of his head.

"Thank you, Shikamaru-kun," you grinned back at him as you were wrapped in someone's arms.

"Y/N-CHAN, YOU WERE DEEPLY MISSED!" Choji screamed as he hugged you, a little stronger than you wish, the air escaping from your lungs.

"Choji, I can't breat-" you said, but it seemed more like a whisper. Happily, he understood and let you go, being embarrassed.

"Sorry, I jus-" you caught him off guard wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. He smiled, hugging you back, but this time, not as strong as before.

"Ino-Shika-Cho," you said, looking at the three of them once Choji put you on the ground. "I certainly missed this formation."

"So, who is this girl?" A blond guy said from behind them. His blue eyes were locked on yours and you could see a little bit of distrust there.

"This is y/n, Naruto, Ino's cousin," Sakura answered, walking towards you to embrace you. "Getting on Ino's nerves were never the same after you left."

"Well, we did know how to do it, right?" you smiled at her, but your eyes were still locked on Naruto's. There was your target, right in front of you. You kept talking and catching up with your old friends, as well getting to know the others you didn't. The boy with the Byakugan was called Neji, and the girl Hinata. Apparently, they were cousins. There was also Rock Lee, Tenten and Shino - who you slightly remember running away from when you were little because of his insects.

Ino grabbed your hand, saying you two had to go. The first part of your plan was going good so far, but you couldn't stop feeling like shit the whole time. You knew you had to shake those feelings away, or you wouldn't be able to see your uncle Inoichi. He surely wouldn't trust you at first, and would search for something suspicious as talking. Your father always said he was by far the best Yamanaka shinobi that ever existed.

Well, you were about to prove him wrong.

As expected, Inoichi didn't recognized you. Once Ino said who you were, his eyes almost popped out from his face in shook, it was a good thing for you, strong emotions were used to prejudice the jutsu. He asked you a million questions, and you were honest in all of them, because you were sure he would enter in your head soon or later. Even that he seemed happy to see you, you could see he was holding himself back to ask you to see inside your head, and not because of you, but because of Ino.

So, once she was asleep on her bedroom, you went to find him on the kitchen. You knew he would be expecting the right moment to tell you, and what moment was better than late at night?

"Go ahead," you told him.

He pressed his palm gently against your head as he began to scour your mind. You made sure the first images he was going to see was you playing with Ino as children, you leaving the village with your parents. He also saw your mom dying, how miserable your dad was but his strength and love for you keeping him on track, your trainings - but not all of them -, the days he mentioned and talked about Inoichi and Ino, the times he wanted to give up everything to come back to them but he couldn't because he wanted to honor your mother memories.

Inoichi's jutsu on your head were getting more and more weak, you could literally feel it. Even though he was a master to find others people secret, he could still be manipulated to see what you wanted him to see. You knew all it would take was one more scene and he would be done with it.

So, you showed the day your dad put on his fighting clothes, saying he would be back soon enough and went to the war. You showed him the endless hours expecting for him to come home, as you stood there alone in the dark. The times you heard a noise outside and thought it was him but it was wind or some rotten bamboo which fell on the roof, and then, the time you decided to look for him, going straight to the war field. You showed him as you found your father's body in the middle of the others endless bodies there. How you cried over him, tried what you knew about medic ninjutsu - which it was so little. You literally showed Inoichi how your heart broke that day and he couldn't take it, breaking the jutsu so he could wipe away his own tears.

You remembered something you father told you long time ago.

"Inoichi is the best in searching for information in someone's head," he said during one practice. "But growing up with a brother like that, I had to find out some tricks so I could keep some things as secret from him. I didn't want my brother to know everything about my life."

And just like that you knew, Inoichi could be the best at searching for information, but your father was the best at hiding it. Your life goal was to become even better than your father, and you completely manage to do it.

After that day, Inoichi never tried to get inside your head again, you knew it was too painful for him. So, he took you under his wing, taking care of you just like he used to when you were little. Every day was getting harder to separate your feelings from the mission, as you trained with them, eat with them and everything else. Inoichi even wanted you to become a Konoha's ninja, and he was going to ask the Hokage - who apparently was in a coma - if it was possible.

"So, I heard you are making a huge success in the Village," Ino said one day, after practice. "Naruto and Kiba are fighting to see who is going to ask you out. Today I even caught Shikamaru staring at you a little too long, which by the way, it's kind of shocking. I have seen him showing interest in one girl in my life, and if I am correct, which I am, she really likes him. So, you should stay away from him a bit."

You laughed at her. "Naruto, huh?" you asked, happy because your mission would be easier than you thought. Going out with him would help you to extract information from him without being suspicious.

"So, he is a favorite. I will make sure to tell him that," Ino said, confusing your happiness like you actually wanted to go out with Naruto because you liked him. "He is so popular with girls now, it's kind of weird. Actually, the fact he wants to go out with you is weird too, because he used to like Sakura a lot."

You were grateful you had someone as chatty as Ino as your cousin. She herself had given you tons of infos, in Naruto and the rest of their friends. She was also making everything easier for you, but every time you thought about leaving after finishing your mission, your heart broke into two. She would never forgive you after finding out what you were about to do.

The hang out with Ino's friends were a good part of your day, because it was the only part of the day you let yourself to be the teenager you were supposed to be.

This time, you all went to eat barbecue. During the whole night, you guys laughed and told stories about life, trainings and missions. Stories were by far your favorite things to hear, and those guys have tons of them. But your favorite one by far was when Naruto defeated Nagato - the real Pain. Even you, after a short time, could see how big Naruto's heart was.

At the end of the evening, everyone said goodbye. When Ino said she had to do something with Choji, things got a little suspicious.

"But Naruto will walk you until my house, right, Naruto?" Ino asked him, directly.

"But your house is really far..." He trailed off as Sakura elbowed him, realization hitting him right away.

"I suppose I could go wit-" Kiba got interrupted by a screaming Naruto.

"No way, dattebayo! I will do it, I need to lose all the calories I got from this barbecue anyway. Y/n-chan, do you mind?" His smile was genuine, and you couldn't help but to smile back.

"Not at all, Naruto. I would really appreciate it," you answered in return, making his smile even bigger - if it was possible.

It didn’t take much until you realized Naruto was someone easy to be around. He always tried to mask his insecurities with cocky jokes and wide smiles, and you found to be strangely found of him. Walking side by side, it was almost shocking that the person next to you managed to defeat someone so strong as Pain. You crossed paths with Akatsuki once in a while on your missions, and you knew better than anyone how lucky you were for being alive.

“Y/n-chan, would you like to hang out sometime?” Naruto blurted out, his cheeks tinted with a light pink.

“Isn’t that what we are doing?” You smiled at him, poking his side with your elbow.

“Yes, but I mean, like a date.” He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes focused on the road ahead.

“I would love to.” You shrugged, but inside, your heart was flipping around. The worst part was when you realized it wasn’t because your mission was finally working, but because you wanted to go out with him.

“How about tomorrow?” He questioned, as soon as you arrived at the Yamanaka’s house.

“That would be perfect. Until then.”

Things followed. The first date, the connection between you two was undeniable, but you still tried to keep your mind on the prize. You analyzed every single word that came out of his mouth, but your heart couldn’t stop but beat faster every time he would smile or say something sweet about you.

You accepted his invitation for a second date, a third, a fourth, until Naruto became a constant on your routine.  There were days where you would see him more than you would see your own cousin Ino, and you lived with the girl.

For many times, you wanted badly to let it go of this mission and just live. A normal relationship with someone you were crazy about, a nice family who loved you and supported you, loyal friends, out of the chart teachers… It was everything so tempting, but something buried inside your head didn’t make you give up completely for it, so every night, you wrote down on a parchment the new discovers from Naruto and everyone around him.

The last drop of resistance on your body melted the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

You choked on the ramen you were about to swallow, staring in disbelief at the blond guy sitting across the table, his cheeks tinted by a nice shade of red.

“I know I surprised you, but it would be nice if you said something.” Naruto pointed out, scratching the back of his head, nervously.

A movie played on your head, those ones that you would figure that they passed when you were about to die. Everything you could remember since you left Konoha marked you in a way you would never recover, that for sure, but did that mean you could never find happiness? For the first time, you felt what it was like. For the first time, sorrow and hurt wasn’t the feelings that you went to the whole day through, fighting them to the back of your mind.

Naruto was there, offering everything you have ever wanted, and you had the guts to say yes.

So, you did.

His face lightened as someone had just told him he had won a whole year of free ramen. His happiness was by far the favorite thing you had witnessed in your life, along with the kiss that followed after it. For once, you forgot about your former jobs, your former past and mostly, your former pain.

During months, everything was just fine. Both of you had to deal with some difficulties on your way, but nothing that would damage your relationship. You ended up finding out about Sasuke and how badly Naruto wanted to recover him back, how deep Naruto and Sakura relationship was, strong as a brotherhood. Ino also loved to have you around, and even though you didn’t have a team, InoShikaCho didn’t hesitate to take you under their wings.

One day before the big war, you and Naruto were packing the stuff you would need to take to reunite the Alliance force. He was going through your draws, as you were going through your closet, as you heard his breathing getting faster.

“y/n, what is this?”

You turned to face your boyfriend with your old parchments on his hands. By the looks of it, he had read a couple of them, and the confusion on his face broke your heart as you didn’t know what to say.

Every single day you told yourself you should get rid of those things, but you never remembered. The guy who hired you never went after you because he didn’t even pay you, at first, so he didn’t lose anything by you not doing it.

“Naruto, I can explain.”

“So do it, because from where I’m standing, it seems like a parchment with a lot of private information of mine.” Naruto threw the paper and it ended up in front of your feet.

“You have to understand, Naruto. There were a few things I have done to survive that I am not proud of.” You took a step forward, but Naruto raised his hand as signing for you to stop.

“What you were going to do with those, y/n?” He demanded, his eyes turning red for a second before coming back to the usual blue.

“I was hired to spy on you, that was the motive that made me come back to Konoha.” The tears started to pool on the corner of your eyes. “But that was before. I didn’t give them anything about you. I couldn’t, I love you too much to do it.”

“You came to Konoha decided to betray your own family?” His tone mirrored the despise on his eyes.

“I would never do anything to hurt them.”

“But me, it was okay?”

“You don’t understand, Naruto. Spying was everything I knew before I came to Konoha. I was hurt and alone, needing money to survive. I wanted to honor my mother wishes but I couldn’t.”

“Do you really think I don’t understand the concept of being alone?” He hissed, turning his gaze away from your face. “I’ve been alone for the most part of my life, y/n. I grew up with people running away from me out of fear and you came here to tell me that I simply don’t understand? What is there to understand now?”

“That I’m crazy about you. You changed me, made me see things in a point of view I didn’t even know it was possible. You were gentle, kind and I believe you can change the whole world just by being in it, Naruto. I am sorry that I didn’t come here with the best intentions, but I am a totally different person from before.”

“I think we should take a break.”

“A break? We are going to a war tomorrow!”

“It’ll be better for both of us if we are focused on the battle ahead. We’ll talk when we are back.”

“Except that you can’t be sure that both of us are coming back alive.”

That hit him, hard. You noticed how shallow his breath became, how he had to swallow hard before opening his mouth again. “Come back alive.” He said, for last, before leaving you on the empty room.

The next few days, you had barely seen Naruto. He didn’t tell anyone about your former plans, which just made harder to explain people why you two weren’t together anymore. You ended up being designed to the same battalion as your cousin and her team. Even though you knew it was a war to protect Naruto and the bijuu inside him, every second of your day was filled with worried by him, and the constant lack of news was even worse than the nonstop fighting.

After finishing the coast, your whole group were designed to assist Naruto on his battle. Of course, you were the one running as faster as you can, so you could reach him faster. No words were needed in this case, all you want were to lay your eyes on him to make sure he was alive.

The moment your heart skipped a beat was exactly when he entered on your sight. The blond guy that you loved with all your body cells was standing there, he seemed hurt and tired, but not even as near to give up. That being the trait which you loved the most on him.

The whole battle was a long one and the adrenaline never stopped running through people’s vein, yours mostly. When Naruto decided to divide his nine tail chakra with everyone, was the first time he realized you were there. He hesitated before touching your hand, and you pressed your lips into a thin line when he jerked back to keep a whine that threatened to escape from your lips inside.

Before moving to the next person, he shot you a sad grin. “I’m glad you alive.”

As fast as he came, he disappeared on the crowd. You didn’t even have the chance to check if it was a shadow clone, just his dust from the run near you now. Despite it, it seemed you couldn’t look away. Following Naruto and paying attention to his surroundings was basically your task. So, the moment you saw one of the ten tailed monsters going straight at his direction, you didn’t think twice before jumping in between them, avoiding Naruto to get a hit on his back.

But you got the hit right below your chest, taking away all the air from your lungs.

Naruto just was fast enough to end the creature as you fell against the cold ground. You fell the warm blood spreading through all your clothes, your conscience slightly fading away.

As soon as Naruto reached you, the tears were already pooling in the corner of his eyes. “No, no, no. Stay with me, y/n. I told you not to die, damn it.” He looked around, looking for someone. “SAKURA, HELP ME.” He screamed, his voice cracking at the end.

“Naruto, it’s okay. You’re okay. That’s what matters.” You managed to say and honestly, you wanted to speak even more, but the pain running through your body was unbearable, every breath feeling like someone was stabbing you.

“SAKURA! WHERE IS SHE?” Naruto yelled at someone near, you couldn’t see who it was. “Do you know anything about medic ninjutsu? Can you help me?”

Someone bent near to your body, sobbing. “You stupid! What did you do?”

A weak smile crossed your lips, in relief. “You should be used by now, cousin. I’ll always protect those I love.”

A green chakra was leaking from her hands, pressed on your wound. But it wouldn’t work. You could feel your organs shutting down, one at time.

“Ino, talk to me.” Naruto hissed.

“I can’t, the damage, I can’t.” The blond said, crying.

“It’s okay. Both pay attention at me. Ino, thank you for everything.” You managed to say, but she cut you off.

“I just lost my father, please. Please. I can’t lose you too!” She leaned in over your body, and you had to cough a little. A warm feeling appeared running down your cheek and you weren’t sure if it was blood or tears.

“Ino.” You said a little bit stronger. “Take care of yourself, and the boys too. They need you. I love you, sister.”

“I love you!” She yelled, before Shikamaru pulled her back from your body.

A small part of you still wanted to laugh, they were still on a battlefield on a fucking war and here they were, acting like they had all the time in the world.

“Naruto.” You used the last strength on your body to look at him. “Hi baby.”

He was crying silently; his hand was holding yours so strongly and you didn’t even feel it. “Please.”

“I am sorry for not staying alive. Don’t you ever forget how much I loved you. Thank you for teaching me what love really meant.” You swallowed hard. “Take care of Ino for me, and please, stay alive.”

“I will. I love you too. I love you so much.” He hugged your body and you noticed the pain was smaller, as almost not existent. You smiled to the sky and closed your eyes, just waiting. Far from there, the sound of a someone crying harder reached your ears, and then, everything went black.

#naruto #naruto fic #naruto fanfic #naruto oneshot #naruto imagine #naruto uzumaki #naruto uzumaki imagines #naruto uzumaki oneshot #naruto uzumaki imagine #naruto x reader #naruto uzumaki x reader #naruto uzumaki and reader #naruto x ooc #naruto x s/o #naruto angst #naruto fluff #naruto uzumaki angst

[feel199x]

 boyfriend!chan

❣ summary: chan is working super hard for his next comeback, and he’s very clingy once he comes back. he’s also very adamant on being the best boyfriend you’ll ever have

❣ warnings: none,  i think!

❣ request: yes!

❣ a/n: i kinda,,, went overboard anon im sorry :( i hope u like it ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ  masterlist

Your boyfriend was super hard-working, and although you admired him for it, it was both his greatest personality aspect and his worst. Chan was an angel, he really was, but this comeback was absolutely tiring him out. He did his best to keep up with you and give you attention, but as the comeback approached, the messages got scarcer and scarcer. You weren’t upset with him because you knew that he was in an incredibly demanding field of work, and thus, couldn’t always give you his undivided attention. Chan still felt bad though and always spoiled you when he had free time. You scolded him every time, but he could never take you seriously with how flustered you always ended up. Chan was the kind of guy who went all out in everything he did, and this included gifts. For your year and half anniversary (was that even a thing people celebrated?) he had written you a song and given you a matching set of necklaces. Chris was just everything you could’ve asked for and more, he always listened and did his best to make the relationship run smoothly. Even when you had gotten insecure about dating him, thinking that he would fall for another idol or suddenly come to a realization that you weren’t good enough, he always reassured you. It had been nearly two years now, and coincidentally your anniversary was only a couple days after their first comeback stage.

You weren’t too worried about it, Chan always took this sort of thing very seriously. Even if he didn’t do anything too special, you wouldn’t get upset with him. He was a busy guy, and you were aware of this when you started to date him. It was actually Chris who was nervous about dating you, not because of the fans or media but because he feared not giving you the love, care, and attention that you deserved. Even with how understanding you were, you still missed him. It was a good thing exams were coming up because otherwise you would be getting nostalgic rereading the text messages between you and him. And you tried not to do that, you really did but studying was so boring and stressful, all you wanted to do was fall asleep with Chan. You were almost successful with your studying session, but you swore that you had heard your phone buzz. You nearly lept onto your bed, and no there weren’t any messages but, a break couldn’t hurt right?

that rapper from hot sauce i love or smthn: hey babe im sorry for not giving you attention

that rapper from hot sauce i love or smthn: ive just been swamped with work

that rapper from hot sauce i love or smthn: i miss u and im three secs away from abandoning my kids. i am so tired. i love you baby

that rapper from hot sauce i love or smthn: by the way did you change my contact name?

you: its okay chris! dont worry about it, work is a priority. I love you too :(

you: and yes!

you: sent an image

the nice guy whojust has a lot of money: im divorcing u and leaving you with the kids

you: no please im not ready to be a single parent

you: channie please i love u

the nice guy who just has a lot of money: okay for love i guess

the nice guy who has just has a lot of money: i guess...i really am a nice guy who just has a lot of money

the nice guy who just has a lot of money: i have to go, i’ll try calling later but no promises. i miss and love you lots baby

you: oh mYGOD

you: please remember to rest babe, i love and miss u too

You sighed, shutting off your phone and holding it against your chest. He hadn’t called that day, nor since. You understood that he had responsibilities, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, you guess. Their comeback stage was tomorrow, and they were driving over to a city who’s name you forgot. You would’ve gone, if you hadn’t had finals all day and it was hours away. You felt terrible for not being able to go out and support him but Chan insisted that you stayed and rested instead of taking a bus up to their stage. You loved that man, you really did. You glared at the textbook on your desk, hoping that it would suddenly set combust into flames. But alas, you were but a mortal. Before resuming your studying, you pulled at your desk drawer to reread the motivational sticky notes that Chan would always leave around your place. You sighed, looking over the sticky notes that have since lost their sticks but made your face warm just staring at it.

Like mate, stop procrastinating!

If you get better than a passing grade i’ll let you yell at me about sleeping

Do you know how smart you are? You’re like Einstein, if he was hot

I love you but i’ll love you a little less if you fail

You smiled to yourself, your cheeks hurting and flustered from the notes. You must’ve been a patron saint in your past life because he was just, amazing. You really hoped there was a future in store for the two of you, because he made you feel like it was your first time falling in love all over again. He made you weak in the knees, and always made you feel like you were the only one for him. Maybe it was a little silly how those sticky notes motivated you, but whatever worked, right? You continued to review the notes, Chan’s voice nagging you about the formulas you hadn’t quite memorized yet in your head. But eventually, your eyes grew weary and you shut off your desk lamp, collapsing onto your bed.

Exams were, in short, not fun. You were fairly sure you had passed, but only by the hair on your head. Maybe it was the anxiety speaking- you had yet to completely flunk an exam, but it could always happen. You’d worry about that in a couple weeks, it was future you’s problem. Right now, all you wanted was to eat take-out and watch Stray Kid’s comeback. It was fairly late when you got back home, the light outside already dimming and fading to a night gradient. You watched the clock anxiously, waiting for their stage to air on TV.

You were never one to overreact, but something about seeing your boyfriend doing what he loved on stage, seeing all his hard work pay off- it made you yell at the screen. It made you yell in the same way a sports fan yells at the players and refs, and only Chris could do this to you. As soon as his stage ended, you texted him, hyping him up. You knew he’d be doing a live shortly after, but at least he’d see it soon enough. Unfortunately, you collapsed in the middle of his live, exhaustion finally catching up with you. You thought your phone buzzed again but being half-asleep you brushed it off.

“___! ___, get up!”

“Love of mine, light of my life, shh…”

You groaned but laughed as he pulled at your arms. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he pulled you closer. “I missed you,” he murmured against your lips, pressing a kiss on them, “I’m sorry about being gone so much.” You tilted your head, smiling at him. “Hey,” you said softly, cupping your face, “Don’t worry about it, let’s get some sleep. Actually, what time is it?”

“Three am.”

“Chris!”

“Look,” he whined, “You can’t yell at me I drove six hours to be with you.” He threw you over his shoulder, “Plus, we’re going to sleep, like right now. I’ll even sleep in.” He flopped you on your bed and you crossed your arms as he took off his shirt, wiggling your eyebrows. “Wow,” you teased, “He’s hot.”

“You’re so gross,” he murmured, laying his head on your chest but not before leaving butterfly kisses up your collarbone, “How did the test go?” You sighed, playing wth his head of curly hair. “It went okay, I think. But this isn’t about me. Your stage was amazing, you did great. Phenomenal, spectacular, fantastic, ground-breaking-”

“Alright!” he sighed, “I don’t deserve you.” He tightened his arms around your waist, kissing your shoulder again. “Oh, Chris don’t start,” you scolded softly, “You’re the greatest boyfriend ever, and you work really hard. Now, shut up and go to sleep.”

“You have such a way with words, I’m swooning.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most.”

“Impossible-”

“Hm? What? I can’t hear you over the enormous amount of sleep I’m getting.”

You groaned, moving to rub your eyes but finding Chan’s arms tightly wound around you. “Don’t even think about it,” his voice was raspy and low, “I got it.”

“Chan,” you whined, “You have to eat, just stay in-”

“Later.”

You sighed again, and Chris pulled you closer pressing lazy kisses up your neck and jaw. His eyes were still closed, and you looked at him dreamily. His hair was messy, and he looked so much more relaxed, muscles less tight and tense. He was under so much stress, and it was good to see him finally take a break, even if it was only for a couple of hours. You fell asleep against his chest, feeling each heartbeat against the side of your face. And maybe you should’ve felt a little bad for waiting until he fell into a deep sleep to wriggle out of his arms (which was weirdly difficult, the guy had a strong grip) to make him breakfast. You weren’t sure what diet he was on, but you were sure that no one would mind if he cheated just a little bit.

“____! Are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

You exhaled, biting the inside of your cheek as you heard him step into the kitchen, trying your best to ignore. He hugged you from the back, letting his head rest on your shoulder, kissing the nape of your neck. “I told you we could do it later.”

“Well, it is later, Chan.”

“But we could’ve just ordered something,” he whined, “Come back to bed, please.”

“After I make you breakfast.”

“I really hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this.”

“Come to wh-?”

He picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder. “Chris put me down or I swear-”

“No,” he sat on top of you, “We’re ordering in, and we’re going to eat in bed and stay here until we become one with the bed.”

“You’re crushing me,” you groaned, “Get off you bum.”

“It’s the diet they’ve got me on, I’ve got hella gains, man.”

“Yeah I saw your thrist trap on insta, you hoe.”

“It’s not a thirst trap!”

“Well, I don’t know about that. Have you read the comments?”

“Now, listen-”

“Shut up,” you propped yourself up and kissed him, and as he leaned into it, you pushed him off.

“You play so, so dirty,” he whined, “Come here and make it up to me.” You snorted but rolled into his arms anyway. “I love you,” you said and stared at him, “A lot. Even with your hella gains, man.” He cupped your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks. “But I love you most.” You opened your mouth so protest, but he shushed you with a kiss. “Don’t start,” he said in between gasps of deep kisses, “Just let me spoil you.”

It had been a couple days since their first stage, and later that day Chris needed to go back to the dorms to tend to his children. He insisted on staying longer, but Woojin was blowing up his phone. You guessed that the group got themselves in another mess. Your anniversary was coming up, and this was the first time you were scared that he forgot. He was usually much better about this than you, and always went a bit too far with his gifts. You had already got his present, an expensive chain necklace you took extra shifts to pay for, but it was worth it when the jeweler handed you the chain. You loved the idea of people getting their boyfriends flowers, so you got an arrangement made. You even had a photo album made of your favorite moments together, and songs that were attached to those moments. Okay, maybe it was a little corny, but you worked hard on it. Chan hadn’t messaged you since then, and you assumed it was because he was busy, but you were getting antsy.

And just like you had before, you nearly jumped to your phone when you heard your phone buzz.

iron man in the streets but better than tony: check under your bed

you: ?? okay

You crouched on the floor, pulling out a simple box, and inside of it was silk clothing with a card with an address and time stamp on it.

you: chris

you: what have you done

you: CHRISTOPHER

you: IM GOING TO END YOU

you: YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T GOING OVERBOARD

you: YOU IDIOT YOU HAVE READ RECEIPTS ON

You’d be lying if there wasn’t a stupid grin on your face as you put on your attire. It took you a while to get ready, work and school hadn’t exactly given you room for self-care but you tried your best to look nice. You looked up the address, and much to your dismay, it was an overpriced fine dining restaurant. The cab driver gushed over your date, complimenting you and wishing you the best of luck on your future endeavours, even blessing your marriage. It was a little weird, but endearing. You hadn’t even called a cab, but instead you got a message saying your ride was there.

You expected Chan to be outside waiting for you outside, but instead, you were greeted by a very nice waiter who’s name you didn’t catch. He beckoned you to follow him. The restaurant was pantheon themed, very airy and light colors decorating the entire place. It was definetly the nicest restaurant you’ve ever been to, but you thought the same thing for your year and half anniversary too. You clutched onto your gifts awkwardly, and the waiter helped you carry the bouquet of flowers.

“Any chance you can tell me what else he has planned?” “Afraid not, he warned me about this.”

“Smart man.”

You were sat at a table in the center, the stained glass letting a pool of warm colors illuminate the room and everyone’s faces. The flowers sat delicately on your lap, and the jewelry box laid on tope of the table, your fingers dancing across it’s edges. That’s when you heard the violins start playing, crowding around your table and playing a dainty tune. You felt a blush creep on your cheeks as you rubbed them, trying to smile less. And there he was, on top of the small stage meant for the classical instrument players to sit on. You wanted to glare at him, but all you could do was smile at his gestures. He winked at you, beginning to sing a song. You were about to cry, rubbing your eyes as the song ended.

“Was I that bad?”

“No, god, no,” you pulled out the flowers and handed it to him, “I know that can’t be the end of it, so let me give these to you.” He looked through the photo album, pursing his lips as tears brimmed at the brink of his eyes. He opened the jewelry box, pulling out the fancy chain necklace you had gotten him. “Oh, baby,” he murmured, “Did you pick up extra shifts for these? You shouldn’t have…”

“Chan, literally look at everything you planned, and say that to my face again.” He smiled, pulling the chain over his head so he could wear it with his suit. You decided that he looks best while wearing fancy suits like this. Perfectly tailored to him, even if bits of chest was visible through his half-buttoned shirt. “You’re right though,” he said, “I’m not done.” He pulled out a little box out of a pocket from inside his jacket. “It’s a promise ring,” he said as he slid it across the table, “You are the love of my life, ____, and I think it’s a bit too early to full-on propose to you, but I want to make the promise that I will one day.”

You opened the box, the expensive ring nearly blinding you as the warm light hit it. “God, I hate you so much, Chris,” tears were streaming at your face, a smile glued to your face.

“Do you like it?”

“No.”

“No? We could change it- or replace it? Or-”

“I love it, and you so much.”

“I love you most.”

“No-”

“Shh,” he kissed you, “Don’t start.”

#bang chan #stray kids #chan fic #skz chan