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#it's more so he's accepted what he believes to be reality
poetechnical · 23 hours
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Anger is Humanity: An Analysis on Andre Kriegman
Disclaimer: This analysis is limited only to commentary and analysis as a means to reflect and understand the characters and the internal and external factors that affect their decisions and actions, this is true rationality. Just like all of my posts, I am detached from the media I write about and solely focus on the characters to understand their backgrounds and psychology, for others to gain insight. There is no room for me to romanticize anything I write because I am only here to explain in my understanding. Thank you.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
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There are five stages of grief—yet some find themselves perpetually stuck and fixated on the second. It is a never-ending loop due to the fear of experiencing discomfort once the light is found; it is the fear of change, the bargaining of reality, the depression in the recurrence, and the acceptance that misfortune runs in your veins. One is not born with misfortune but rather handed with it.
THE SUPEREGO. A concept based on the Freudian principles of psychoanalysis, which generally develops through the internalization of values and norms given by primary groups (family and society). If members of these groups are either overly strict and abusive or lacking guidance, poor superego is molded. The superego controls the id's basic desires by using the ego, relying on internalized moral ideals. If the superego is underdeveloped, then there is an impairment in moral reasoning and the ability to distinguish what is morally just and unjust.  Furthermore, factors such as abusive environments also play a role in hindering normal superego development. Negative consequences are also brought by exposure to violence or alienation.
With this, we view Andre Kriegman in a new light. 
His behavior might be the result of an imbalance where his id's destructive desires aren't properly controlled by a strong superego. Freud has also noted various defense mechanisms the ego uses to handle conflicts between the id, superego, and external reality. If Andre's superego isn't functioning well, he might depend on unhealthy defense mechanisms like projection and blaming others for his indecent thoughts or rationalization by justifying his harmful behavior with logical reasoning.
Anger does not come from evil, but it comes from the mistreatment you receive.
It is the pain inflicted on you, the misfortune that leads you to believe that there is no possibility of ever finding the room to grow and move on. The reason why Andre is so fixated on hatred and anger is that it is a defense mechanism born out of the tragic reality that he has been and is hurt. It is the trauma response that begs to cling on you because you fear that in change, more misfortune will arise.
Anger—that is Andre Kriegman. In a world where you have constantly been alienated, you feel less human. You are not perceived, therefore, you do not exist. You are stripped away from whatever humanity you have, because to be a human, you must exist. You are a mere entity, an omnipresent being that is everywhere yet nowhere, all at once. Forced to watch a crowd interact, fearing and knowing you are so easy to be disregarded. You try to imitate them when interacting to be deemed more human, yet alas, all subside suddenly when you are deemed as a deviant. You are isolated, believed to be nothing, and therefore, gone. 
Anger sprouts from injustice. This is the rationality in anger—even how disproportionate it feels, like how Andre feels his anger. It is rooted in the lack of good treatment. The hate you feel is disproportionate as if your body begs to regurgitate all the hate you have and project it to anyone else—your family, your peers, and even yourself. You have this strong want to let others feel the pain you feel and bear, simply because this is the part of you that yearns and begs to be seen. To be understood, to be empathized with, to feel human, to be human.
To be treated as you should've been treated—well.
Anger is human. It is a part of humanity itself. Yet, as true as it can be, you can never heal with the same thing that caused it. Pain does not heal pain and anger does not heal anger, that is reality.
Andre Kriegman is anger, he is a reflection of humanity itself and the humanity he was shown. Humanity is anger.
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bnhaobservation · 2 days
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Ramblings about the Shigaraki family
So, the past time I was rambling about the Shimura family, the Takami family and the Himura family.
Well, I guess this is the time to remble about the Shigaraki family (as the family of All for One and Yoichi, not the family of Shigaraki Tomura).
PREMISE
In creating the history of the Shigaraki family Horikoshi went as unrealistic as he could get and more. Their backstory is basically a HUGE request for suspension of disbelief on how children, and more specifically newborn, work.
For start the children shouldn’t have survived and, to continue, assuming their survived Yoichi wouldn’t have probably grown that way, never mentioning the framing seems to blame All for One for things that are actually not his fault for no good reason (I mean, there’s PLENTY OF THINGS we can blame All for One for, why trying to do so for things that aren’t his fault?).
So I’ll split this analysis in two, first I’ll put the ‘in reality this wouldn’t have worked’ part, so as to get it out of the way, then I’ll go back to the siblings and re-analyze them pretending all the highly unreal things in their history are, by some miracle or extremely unlikely and unexplained reason, possible.
Mind you, this first part isn’t meant to be a complain, merely a list of what clashes with reality. Mangakas can ask their readers to suspend their disbelief and accept unreal things to happen in their story… the problem is this makes harder for readers to them analyze the characters’ behavior because they can do or are expected to do, what a normal person can’t do and this makes the message the author wants to deliver harder to pass.
Lastly... what follow is just my humble opinion. I'm not Horikoshi, I don't own the truth so feel free to think differently.
And okay, let’s start.
REALITY CLASH
Now… we’re told the Shigaraki twins lose their mother short after being born. All for One manages to steal her Quirk before she dies, which okay, he might have done unconsciously… even though the other times he did so, he seemed to do it with purpose (as he needs to turn on and off his Quirk when he does so) and needing time remaining holding his victim for a while which doesn’t seem the case here but whatever. Quirk magic.
Now… the babies are then left lying on the ground next to their mother.
The problems really start when the flood of the river sweep them away. We’re asked to believe All for One managed to use his Quirk to cling to his mother, remaining on top of her and therefore out of water while at the same time holding his brother’s arm and keeping him as well on top and out of water.
We start with the first problem.
To use his mother’s Quirk to stab her, he should manage to hold his head still as he pierces her… but a baby takes about three months after birth, to develop enough neck strength to hold their heads up. They won't fully control it until around six months. More likely, if he were to activate his mother’s Quirk, he won’t stab her, he would end up pushing himself AWAY from her, never mentioning figure out he has to use it on his mouth and on his right hand to manage to hold on her. Newborn don’t use their mouth to hold themselves at something by biting it (they don’t even have teeth!) but to suck and are still trying to figure out they can grasp things and how.
All for One to figure out he can use his mouth and hand to hold himself and that he can strength his grip by using his mother’s Quirk which he has just stolen and shouldn’t know how it work feels highly unlikely if not outright unrealistic.
Now… a corpse can float as long as it doesn’t fill itself with water. Since it’s raining and the river’s waters aren’t quiet and she has on top of her two babies (newborns weight from 2,5 kg to 4 kg) not only I wouldn’t expect the corpse to take long to fill itself with water but also to be a very unstable raft.
Even if a baby’s grip is pretty strong and Yoichi should weight much less than him, adults on an unstable raft have problems to hold each other… never mentioning this requires All for One to see Yoichi (newborns’ vision isn’t as good as when they’re adults), acknowledge that Yoichi is something he wants to keep, grab Yoichi and keep on holding him despite the unsteady surface he’s on.
But whatever, let’s assume he could do all this.
Babies need to eat about every 2 to 4 hours. How are the twins getting milk? In theory someone should have picked them up and, since society is still in place, brought them to an orphanage where they were cared for. The story though seems to want to imply from that moment on they survived on their own which is… well above a baby’s abilities as newborn don’t even know how to crawl.
Horikoshi then tells us All for One was imbued with hubris and disrespect for others from the moment of his birth and views everything within his reach as his own possession… as if this were a thing that All for One was born evil. Problem is… this is how all the infants see the world and it’s only around preschool age (but sometimes it drags on longer) THEY ARE TAUGHT the world doesn’t revolve around them, as well as to empathize with others. They’re all like that and meant to be taught to grow out of it, it’s not something that’s characteristic of All for One only or of evil people only.
In the scene in which All for One beat people and Yoichi tries to stop him Yoichi is missing his milk teeth meaning he just started being of school age (you lose milk teeth at 5/6) and the two seem to live on their own, meaning they aren’t in an orphanage.
Long story short, when All for One was a newborn being as selfish and egocentric as he could was absolutely normal and since apparently no one taught him that it wasn’t the right behavior, it was unlikely he would stop… and here comes the second problem as… Yoichi instead somehow learnt it!
Yes, it could be because All for One is taking care of Yoichi so in a way Yoichi has someone to act as a caretaker but… All for One shouldn’t even have known how to take care of him, that Yoichi too, like himself needed to be feed! We’re told Yoichi is weak and sickly, this would mean he shouldn’t have survived if not properly taken care of meaning he needed food, staying in a warm, clean place, and possibly medicines and so on. There should be an adult in this story taking care of them in their earlier FORMATIVE years, but there’s no mention of this, to the point that it’s ALL FOR ONE WHO NAMES YOICHI and is aware he’s his sibling and the same goes for Yoichi… who doesn’t give up on his older brother because he has faint memories of All for One’s hand holding his arm when they were newborns and wants to believe his brother’s grip had been gentle and kind. Note that people don’t have memories that date to their birth… and if All for One’s grip had been gentle and kind, Yoichi would have slipped from his grasp and drown. That wasn’t the moment to be gentle but to hold tight but neither baby should remember the whole thing so not only a gentle grip would be unrealistic but shouldn’t be remembered.
Apparently Yoichi has no other nice memory of All for One… even though it’s supposedly All for One who takes care of him because we see him as a kid finding hard to stand so it should be All for One who provides him with food and clothes.
Also, although it’s just an explanation the fact that All for One stole the nutrients provided by his mother while they were in the wombs seems to speak ill of him but Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome is a pregnancy condition that involves imbalanced blood flow between identical twins. The imbalance deprives one twin of the nutrients it needs while providing an excess of nutrients to the other twin and can be fatal TO BOTH. It’s not a sign one of the babies is greedy, it’s a sign the pregnancy is having problems.
All for One has plenty of faults but he’s not born evil due to a pregnancy condition or having the exact same mentality all the newborns have. The framing instead seems to want to paint him as such. Of course there’s the possibility Horikoshi wants his readers to realize this, that the framing is unsympathetic because it’s meant to be unreliable. I don’t know but, for me, it doesn’t really work well.
To make up for it the framing for Yoichi is extremely positive but… Yoichi is actually presented as a fundamentalist Hero, the kind that would make Stain happy with his Quirks can’t be used for personal gain (Heroes use their Quirk to save people but gets paid to do so, hence they get a personal gain. If Quirk use has to be completely selfless we go back to Stain’s ideals of how being a Hero can’t be a job), but he fails at being a positive figure in All for One’s life as he can’t influence him positively in the slightest.
Last but not least, Yoichi claims he’s teaching himself how to read. While it’s possible to teach yourself how to read, generally you need someone to help you connect the written shapes of letters (or, in his case, kana/kanji) to the sounds. If the kids are alone without a supervising adult reading for them, and therefore indirectly giving them help to connect the kana/kanji to the sounds they make and give them reading directions, they shouldn’t even be capable to know in which sense the reading should go… actually it should have taken Yoichi time even to figure out if the manga should have been read in the western or in the Japanese manner because no one was there to help him figure out this or in which order to watch the images and this isn’t always easily intuitive.
Anyway, with this we end the part where I discuss the points in which the past of the Shigaraki twins distances itself from reality to the point it goes from highly unlikely to completely unreal without additions/adjustments Horikoshi didn’t seem to plan to include.
Due to this part I don't know if my analysis can be reliable because I tend to make them according to how the mind, the psychology and the development of people work in reality in addition to what it's told in the story. If the story distances too much from reality... well, I can easily be lead off track in my interpretation so consider yourself warned.
IF WE TAKE THE STORY AT FACE VALUE AND ACCEPT THE UNREALISTIC
The first relevant thing about the Shigaraki twins is that they’re alone in the world from the start, having only each other as company.
Even when they were in the womb and technically were with their mother, she was unaware of their existence and lived an unstable lifestyle which, in a way endangered them, never mentioning she died once she gave birth to them and left them alone in the open, under the rain and in a hostile environment as rats wanted to eat them and the river flooded short after, which yes, saved them from the rats but could have killed them as well.
If in the story this was meant to be a formative experience for the twins (in real life it hardly would be but we’ve discussed this part already so let’s pretend it would), All for One at the start of his life was presented immediately with lack of care and help and a world that’s a danger to him. In order to survive he has to take care of himself, he has to steal his mother’s Quirk and use his mother’s body to survive. As he does so he chooses to also save the other misfortunate creature that was with him from when he had a spark of life, his twin brother.
It’s not like Yoichi is presented as nurturing or caring or helpful toward him (quite the contrary, Yoichi throw things at him when he thinks All for One is doing something wrong and shares with him the fact he’s reading comics only when All for One catches him doing so)… it’s just Yoichi is there, with him, and doesn’t mean to harm to him in a world that either ignores or tries to harm him… and somehow All for One recognizes him as ‘family’. Yoichi is like a Teddy Bear to All for One, in a way he’s his security blanket. Yoichi was his sole companion, the only one in the same situation as he was and, apparently, All for One felt Yoichi should feel and see the world like he does. He wants Yoichi to see the world like he does.
All for One’s mentality of seeing everything else as his own possession, hating those who wouldn’t care for him when in need and wouldn’t provide him with anything is the one of an infant and he’ll never graduate from it… except in regard to Yoichi. Although he still labels Yoichi as a possession, the latter is of no use and provides him no care and yet he can’t let him go nor feel disgusted by him. All for One will label his feelings for Yoichi as ‘love’. It’s clear it’s not healthy love, the one in which you care for the other and asks for nothing back, it’s selfish love, the one in which you think you own the other and the other has no agency in this.
What about Yoichi instead?
While All for One is the one who has to fight for their survival… Yoichi doesn’t. He gets saved by All for One. Where All for One doesn’t have anyone to help him, Yoichi has someone. If we’ve to accept no adult took care of them… Yoichi’s survival was entirely dependent on his older brother (and, later, Yoichi will also get saved by Kudō). All for One is clearly a terrible caretaker as selfish as he is, but he still is Yoichi’s caretaker. Yoichi has better clothes than All for One has (his clothes fit him when All for One has some cloth tied around himself), we see Yoichi as a child can’t seem to be able to move (he seems to be crawling on the ground) so he can’t provide himself for food, which means All for One goes out of his way to search food for him too.
I’ll stretch things a bit and assume that, since Yoichi is weak and is being provided for, this helped him to feel empathy with other people who are weak and therefore, when said people get abused by his brother he feels bad for them and so he didn’t want All for One to hurt them (it usually doesn’t work like that in real life but it happens all the time in manga so let’s assume that’s what Horikoshi is going for).
Yoichi though, is unsuitable as a morality pet (I’m not looking down at him, ‘morality pet’ is the name of a role trope/archetype in tales) who will lead to All for One becoming a good person.
In fact All for One will claim he wants to become a evil overlord because he wants a world that exists for his sake and his alone. Basically no one cared about him when he was in need so he now wants to force the world to do so. His wish is an answer to the pain he felt when he cried and screamed and no one came to help.
He wants to be loved and nurtured the way he wasn’t as a kid (being loved and nurtured is a kid’s PRIMARY NEED and if the kid doesn’t get it, there’s a GIANT size chance the kid will receive serious psychological damage that will carry over to adulthood) but, since he didn’t receive such things, he didn’t even know how to ask for them or what actually he’s looking for. He’s still an infant in a way, instead than trying to become a person that can be loved and nurtured by others, he just wants to impose himself over them the way a newborn wants, making everything ‘all for his sake’.
So All for One wants to identify with the person whom, he thinks, has what he’s missing, the evil guy of the comics whom everyone serves, even if out of fear (talk about comics having a negative formative impact on him). This is his power fantasy, only All for One has power enough he can turn his fantasy into reality.
Yoichi has a different dream, he wasn’t completely neglected, he was (poorly) taken care of but he’s powerless so his power fantasy is becoming the Hero who’s fighting hard against a enemy and will eventually gain power enough to defeat him. The comic is formative for him too, as it gives him the idea good should always prevail on evil as the Hero will eventually win… THROUGH FIGHTING THE BIG BAD.
It’s meaningful that when Yoichi sees his brother hurting others he throws a can to him, attempting to hurt him in retaliation (and only ending up on being hurt back)… where Midoriya, in the first chapter, stood in front of the boy Bakugō was hurting and it’s Bakugō who attacks him. Midoriya focused on protecting, Yoichi focused on attacking.
Now I’m… not sure if this is done on purpose or it’s a flaw on Horikoshi’s part but in the story we don’t have Yoichi giving All for One a single meaningful speech or do a single meaningful thing that could have a chance to move his brother enough to make him change his path. I mean… we get All Might preaching about how Yoichi has a strong sense of justice… but the way all this is shown is merely by having Yoichi refusing to join his brother and giving him moral speech like how meta powers shouldn’t be used for personal gain ( “異能”は私利私欲に使うべきじゃない ‘“Inō” wa shiri shiyoku ni tsukaubeki janai’) and how bad it is that All for One is doing this to fulfill his own personal desires… which is not really convincing to me because:
- in the BNHA superpowers are used for personal gain as Heroes get paid and it was Stain the one who complained against it but the story set up Stain as an extremist, not as someone who’s right…
- the problem isn’t really that All for One is trying to fulfill his own desires (there’s nothing wrong in fulfilling your desires!) but that his own desires are harmful to others…
…and can’t be convincing to All for One because it basically doesn’t answer to All for One’s needs, but just tell him what he can’t do. Yoichi doesn’t tell him ‘I care for you, I want to take care of you, if you were to help people and let them know you they would care for you and help you too so you don’t need to do this’ but ‘don’t do this because it’s morally bad’ even though people around them is using their superpowers for personal gain and acting to fulfill their own desires at their expense. It’s not a solid argument for an ordinary person, for someone who has the maturity level of a newborn like All for One is… well, totally ineffective.
We’ve the same problem when All for One calls there two people and turn them into his allies by HELPING THEM, giving them what they NEED to stop being in misery.
Yoichi’s “Don’t do it…! There’s no coming back” (ダメだ…!戻れなくなるぞ ‘Dame da…! Modorenaku naru zo’) is the opposite of persuasive as those people don’t want to come back, they don’t want to go back as they were, they were miserable as they were, like Lady Nagant they hope that the world All for One will bring will be better than the current one because the current one is terrible to them.
There’s no understanding of what moves others nor the presenting of other better options available.
Yoichi is not persuasive at all, with such words he can’t hope to change anyone’s mind… though I don’t know if it’s a flaw in Yoichi or a flaw in writing (as in Horikoshi believes Yoichi’s ‘noble’ words would move others but they don’t work on All for One because the guy is a bad guy and they don’t work on those people because they’re weak and so they fall prey of All for One).
Anyway, due to Yoichi’s inability to drive his point across (possibly because he is unable to see the needs of All for One and empathize with them so doesn’t know how to respond to them in a way that would move his brother), Yoichi is unable to positively influence his brother. He remains, unyieldingly, in his ‘noble’ position, but doesn’t get a single progress with his brother.
All for One also doesn’t make progresses. He’s vocal about how he loves Yoichi, but doesn’t actually know how to love people because, again, he’s as mature as a toddler. He jails Yoichi, forces a Quirk on him thinking this will help him see things his way, but, even though he actually gives a much better speech than Yoichi, he doesn’t understand him and why he’s refusing.
In a way the twins are similar, they both have a power fantasy and aren’t willing to compromise on it or to genuinely try to put themselves in each other shoes to REALLY meet each other middle way.
In theory it makes sense they can’t, due to their upbringing they weren’t taught to do so, to reach each other midway (which is something very different from what All for One is doing in chap 193), to compromise and find a way to be they both can accept.
Ultimately Yoichi escapes, supposedly planning to fight his brother and All for One ends up murdering him… and then regretting it immediately after because again, his outburst that cause Yoichi’s death is the one of a little child who doesn’t see the consequences of his actions.
All for One saves Yoichi’s hand, he chases what remains of Yoichi in form of his Quirk for YEARS, he hates Kudō who took Yoichi from him to the point he didn’t just murder Kudō but all the women and children who were close to him so as to make sure to end his bloodline, he feels empty inside without Yoichi.
It’s ironic because, even though I think Horikoshi’s idea is to have both brothers love each other, it’s actually only All for One the one who shows his love. Sure, it’s a VERY TWISTED, VERY SELFISH form of  love, in fact, if All for One’s interest for Tenko can be compared to the one of a predator who took a young child and manipulated him into doing his bidding, his love for Yoichi can be compared to the one of a selfish, jealous boyfriend who would kill his girlfriend should she look at someone else.
With this I’m not saying All for One’s love is incestuous, because it’s not represented as sexual (or even romantic) in nature. All for One’s warped love for Yoichi is likely meant to be the reflection of a childhood need, it’s twisted and selfish because it’s comparable to the one of an infant for his mother, not of an adult man for a potential partner.
Now… very likely since All for One is so psychologically damaged Yoichi’s love wouldn’t have managed to compensate and make All for One a normal person but the bad part in the story is that Yoichi is never shown giving him love.
I’m not saying he should have done it when All for One was trying for world domination but, in the flashbacks about their childhood, along with the scene in which he threw a can at him, there could have been a scene in which he… I don’t know, covered him while he was sleeping or cuddled close or bandaged his wounds or something. Instead it seems if All for One hadn’t caught him, Yoichi would have kept from him even the fact he was reading comics.
It’s, I fear, a problem in writing, possibly Horikishi assumed it wasn’t needed to show it because Yoichi is a good person so of course he would love his older brother, it’s just All for One who’s not catching it up and being content with what Yoichi is giving him, and maybe for Japanese readers it’s obvious but… as a western reader I can’t see it.
Yoichi’s love instead is hardly depicted. Yoichi is this paragon of virtue that wouldn’t yield to him but… he’s not shown giving him (brotherly) love, we’re only told he wouldn’t give up to him due to his wish to picture All for One held him gently when they were newborn. I’m confident he loved his brother because that’s what’s socially expected of him, so Horikoshi likely gave him this trait despite how Yoichi can’t forgive what All for One did but… it’s not really something the story digs into, in a way Nana shows more care for Tenko than Yoichi for his brother. Again, possibly is a narrative problem, All for One is meant to be the ultimate evil so Yoichi has given up on him, we’ve to be satisfied with him dying, if his brother were to weep for him we might feel bad… but still this doesn’t paint Yoichi as a brother who, at a certain point had loved All for One, we just have a box saying something along the line but no visual proof.
Yoichi will go and develop attachment for his saviors, Kudō and Bruce, and for Midoriya, who represents the perfect Hero Yoichi believed in (and, likely, for the past One for All users), where All for One can’t really attach to people, not even to Tomura whom he raises to be similar to him (he leads Tomura to kills his family by accident and rage, in the same way he has done with Yoichi, and All for One gives him their hands same as he was holding Yoichi’s hand, and raises him into his beliefs telling him it’s okay to kill people) and who loves and respect him. To All for One, Tomura is just his next body. For him his ‘friends’ are all ‘expendable’, which includes Machia and, likely, Garaki. None of them can replace Yoichi. None of them can provide him with the love and care he needs to satisfy his soul. There’s probably no way to provide him that, his idea if he were to have Yoichi back he would feel fulfilled is likely doomed to fail, he can’t fill the black hole there’s inside his soul, if he were to have Yoichi back he would delude himself he’s happy but he would still crave for more. It would never be enough because it would never be healthy.
Yoichi instead… doesn’t need him, he’s satisfied with dying as a Hero. Yoichi is focused on his goal and while his goal is a good one for humanity… it remains a power fantasy for Yoichi to feel fulfilled all the same… which, I fear, is a flaw in writing. Probably Yoichi needed to be developed more, instead than remaining a stereotypical representation of noble ideals, he needed someone to dig more in his humanity, in his flaws, so that he would feel more human and less Mary Sue… but, I guess, there was no space in the story for this. Yoichi, as well as the other All for One’s users, aren’t really that important in the story, Yoichi is more like a plot device, the one who creates One for All and the one who gives a motive to All for One to chase the One for All users, instead than a character.
It’s probably also due to this that his reunion with All for One at the end of the story feels weak.
All for One has learnt nothing, he’s still the same as he were at the start, but he’s also desperate to have Yoichi back, he begs Yoichi to shows himself to him… but Yoichi basically shrugs it off, he’s more interested in praising Midoriya for offering them a final salvation… and with them I’ve my doubts it includes himself and All for One but I think he includes himself and the One for All users (‘Kyūsai’ 救済 means “relief; aid; rescue; salvation; help”… but also “salvation from suffering based on Buddha's teachings” meaning they finally might stop being trapped in between life and death and move on) who get to punch and destroy All for One fulfilling their lifetime goal and then can finally stop being vestiges. Yoichi also claims he couldn’t guide his older brother but again we stumble in the old problem. His effort to guide him was hardly shown and there is little regret in his words. Where the Todoroki family tried to stop Touya but also was there to express their love for Touya, Yoichi just seems interested in stopping All for One, no love involved.
So in a way it’s ironic, differently from the other families I looked at, here there are no parents who damaged their kids or pushed their values on them… but just two siblings who failed to love and support each other in an healthy way. One focused on becoming a noble person, the other decayed into a terrible person and, while in a way everything can be traced down to blame society (they were left without a caretaker with the world being in chaos and anti Meta mobs hunting people) the story really doesn’t focus much on this.
In the end, Midoriya’s final words about All for One being just a lonely man (‘sabishi’ 寂し meaning “to feel lonely” “to miss someone”) seem to miss the target. Midoriya knows nothing about All for One and his real problem wasn’t just he was alone (as he’d been bad even when he had Yoichi) but that he was ‘unraised’. No one raised him, cared for him, taught him to be a better person from when he was an infant. This caused him to become unable to establish healthy bonds with others and, therefore, to develop a healthy way to live.
So yes… he’s lonely because he doesn’t have Yoichi or anyone else… but that wasn’t his problem. Society has abandoned him instead than teaching him to care and so, as a result, he never learnt to do it.
Of course, due to the framing, it can be that this wasn’t what Horikoshi aimed to represent, it could be that he just expected All for One to learn those things by himself like Yoichi did… even when it’s normally not how it works. But well, this is a story so he can go as unreal as he wants.
So well, I guess that’s all for the Shigaraki family, which, in hindsight, wasn’t really that developed and, if Horikoshi hadn’t written those flashback chapters, I guess I wouldn’t have tried writing about it.
I hope you’ll forgive me if this isn’t as deep as I usually write this sort of meta but, not only there was little material but part of the material was ‘too unreal’ to make a realistic psychological evaluation of the characters and their motives… or just too vague so I tried to do my best but I might as well have failed. Many apologies for it and thank you for having read this piece till now.
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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Will Byers Analysis - Between S3 & 4
Something I always think about, is how Will probably didn't even know Mike and El were back together at the end of season 3.
When they had last spoke, part of Will probably thought Mike was talking about something else, which is understandable bc both him and Mike were speaking in code, whether they realized it or not (I didn’t say it/You didn’t have to).
At the very least, Will thought things could go back to how they used to between them; friends (best friends).
When the Byers arrived to Cali, I imagine within the first day, or within the first few days after they settled, it was most likely Jonathan who made the move to phone the Wheelers to talk to Nancy.
Then maybe Will decided he would call Mike once the phone was free or even asked Jonathan to have Nancy just hand the phone to Mike so they could catch up too.
But once Mike got on the phone, something was off. He sounded kind of distant and awkward and it left Will feeling confused.
Maybe Will tried to chock it up as them just needing to get used to living far away from each other, since this distance thing was indeed new for them. They'd been friends for the last decade and hadn't experienced being apart for longer than a week (the week of his disappearance). So, it was bound to be a little weird, for a little while. Right?
But honestly, just thinking about their fight in s3 and the events leading up to it, I wouldn't blame Will for being slightly worried.
Before the rain fight, Will was putting almost all of the time and effort into their relationship. He was fighting for it and Mike was leaving him behind. And that really hurt Will.
And that's what's honestly so incredible about Will's arc in s4, because he's not putting himself through that again.
Yes, he's growing up and he's matured, but he's also come to accept that, based on Mike's actions as of recent (despite what he might have sensed from Mike over the years), those romantic feelings he has for him will NEVER be reciprocated. If he's lucky, Mike will still want to be his friend, and he would be relieved to stay in his life in that way if it's something Mike still wants.
(Which also makes the GA's argument about how they think Will's arc in s5 is going to be about him accepting that Mike will never love him back, fall flat??? Because, Will's already realized that, sis. S4 ending the way it did was in part to make as clear as possible to Will (the unreliable narrator) that Mike cannot love him that way... And so why the hell would s5 confirm that for a second (3) time now? Where is the shock? Where is the value? What is satisfying about that? And why do that, while also holding off on Mike finding out about Will's feelings until the very end? Like... just let that simmer for a second and think about what that actually means in terms of the story going in a satisfying direction that also manages to surprise you... there is literally nothing satisfying about proving Will 'I'm not gonna fall in love' Byers, right...)
So, after about a week since they last spoke on the phone since arriving, a bunch of letters come in the mail: one for Jonathan, four for El, and three for Will (you can probably guess who from the party didn't send a letter to Will...).
And it's as if Will's worst fears are being (re)realized.
In his casual letter exchanges between the party, he talks about DnD and a new art class he's taking with Dustin, joining the basketball team with Lucas and how everything she'd told him about California was right with Max. Super casual catching up with some of his best friends. And yet still, nothing from Mike, arguably his best friend.
And so Will is understandably devastated.
He doesn't understand. Or maybe he does, he just didn't want to believe it.
And so, how Will chose to go about his contact with Mike over the next 'year' makes sense to me (and I support him fully tbh).
I think Will's arc in s4 is beautiful because he has some of the best development of anyone on the entire show. He's not the gay kid being used as a plot device for a heterosexual couple (stay tuned for s5). If anything, we're seeing this character who tried his best to mend his friendship with his best friend (also secret first love) after Mike presumably rejected him (ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS!), and so, Will is not going to put himself through that again.
He's not going to let himself have hope that there could ever be something more between them, even if he thought so many times before there were moments or signs that Mike could feel the same (BC MIKE DID!!). He has already accepted it's not possible.
He's not going to 'stand in the way' anymore. If Mike wants to be with El, he's going to support them, even if it hurts him and his own feelings.
It's tragic, but it feels so in character for Will and his qualities as a person.
I know a lot of bylers argue that both Mike and Will were in the wrong when it came to them both not staying in touch, and I do agree, completely actually. Especially knowing Mike tried to call Will. HE TRIED. So it's not like he didn't. The miscommunication trope is doing it's magic. We just have to accept that.
And so, fittingly, when confronted, Mike doesn't tell Will he called (a lot). He lets Will think that he barely called and deflects and pushes it back on Will. But then almost instantly, he regrets it. Because it's in this moment he's only now realizing that Will did want to talk and missed him and is quite literally confused why they're not best friends any more. And suddenly it's all clicking. He knows deep down Will has every reason to be insecure, to not reach out to Mike after what happened last summer. It's just that he also thought Will had every right to move on because why wouldn't he, what's so great about Mike? Will could have anyone? Mike was so distracted by his own insecurities that Will had inevitably moved on, while also trying to hide his feelings, that he didn't realize Will actually did miss him. They've both got it all wrong.
As of now, we don’t know for sure if Will called at all, and so me assuming he called first, is just that, an assumption. But I’m giving Will the benefit of the doubt here. (It's also likely the Byers would have called the Wheeler's first because they know their number by heart most likely, while the Wheelers would've had to wait to get their new number).
Based on the story presented though (Will's unreliable narrator POV), he had a lot more reason to doubt Mike wanted anything to do with him. Will literally spent all of s3 fighting for their friendship, even if it meant coming off as slightly clingy and annoying and ‘childish’. And look how that turned out?
What else was Will to do in this situation? Just repeat all of his behavior in s4?
Was he just supposed to call Mike first, write him letters first, even though Mike was showing repeat signs of wanting to distance himself from him again?
And so, Will waits. He waits for Mike to make the next move, just in case his insecurities are right and that Mike doesn't want them to be best friends like they used to be.
One evening, about a month since the move, the phone rings and Will answers it. It's Mike.
Will is obviously surprised and thrilled. They talk for a bit, and yeah it's awkward. But still, it gives Will hope.
Now, it's still not enough to give Will the confidence to reach out first, fearing he'll come off too strong and scare Mike away again, and so he continues to give Mike space. But that doesn't stop this gesture from giving Will the inspiration to try one more thing, one last ditch effort to save their friendship; he's going to make Mike a painting.
So, all while watching El receive a new letter in the mail every few weeks or so, with him and Mike talking once (or if he's lucky maybe twice) a month over the phone, Will spends his time working on the painting, knowing that Mike used to appreciate his drawings when their friendship was at its strongest. And so, maybe this will be the thing that finally fixes things for them once and for all?
All too soon, it's Spring break and they're at the airport waiting for Mike to land.
In the months leading up to their reunion, Will made sure no one saw the painting he was working on, least of all El. Not even because he was scared she might figure out his feelings, but because he wanted it to be a surprise. We also know Will presumably had no problem with the others seeing the painting eventually because he literally brought it to the airport for Mike to open in front of all of them? And so... to him this was clearly an attempt at platonic reconciliation, even despite Will having romantic feelings for Mike. What he wanted was their friendship back.
But suddenly, Mike is standing before him and Will is so excited he can't hold back anymore. I mean, he's been holding back for MONTHS and he just wants to hug his best friend.
But then Mike is being awkward again, almost like he doesn't want to even touch Will at all, contrasting greatly from the last time they hugged during their goodbye only just a year ago (6 months they're so dramatic, i swear).
All this does is prove to Will that, despite them apparently ending on good terms, it seems Mike is just repeating last summer all over again.
Understandably, Will jumps to this conclusion fairly quickly, as his insecurities are being proven right in real time. Mike doesn't want the friendship they used to have. He doesn't want to hug, doesn't want to write to him, barely even called despite writing El a book worth of letters. He wants to talk to and focus on his girlfriend and Will is just an afterthought now.
There's no way he's gonna want this? A painting? Not a chance in hell.
So when Mike points to it and asks him about it nervously, Will panics and brushes it off.
How could he be so naive. Mike is making it SUPER clear he doesn't care about him, not like he used to. And still he's holding onto some misguided hope that maybe there's still a chance for them to be best friends.
How could he be so stupid.
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sendmyresignation · 10 months
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truly nothing on this earth is more foul than supernatural familial abuse discourse but specifically the discourse people have about if sam or dean "had it worse" like ok cool you have already missed the point of this show very hard.
#the things ive seen in those trenches.....#its like actually their circumstances were based on their positionality in the family and the expectations each had#but on another level the discourse never truly explores what sams life was like as a child. hes either a spoiled brat or a martyr#in ways that make him one dimensional in ways fanon child dean just. isnt.#sam isnt just isolated. hes also controlled and surveilled. any wrong move (unbeknownst to him) proves to john hes irredeemable#like the center of john telling dean he might have to kill sam. is always dean like i feel crazy with how little consideration there is#toward the mental headspace of a guy whose whole childhood is suddenly warped by the realization his father suspected he was evil#and might need to be put down like a dog. and then. sam accepts this!!!! he truly believes is he Crosses A Line dictated by deans judgement#then oops oh well! because fundamentally sam has been conditioned to believe in his own inability to make decisions about himself#so the 'dean protects sam! dean keeps sam innocent and gave him a childhood' becomes much more insidious when u realize#that is one side of the coin wherein sam is under the complete authority of another person#and obv dean is not evil for that. its learned behavior!!#but instead of teasing out this reality when we learn what john told dean... it becomes aww poor dean :(( instead of a horrific glimpse int#the hierarchy of information and control fundamental to their relationship. guys its a cult.#my posts#spn
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grinchwrapsupreme · 2 months
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being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go
#truly alarming amount of tags on this post don't click read more fr#the venture bros#pete white#bily quizboy#billy whalen#idk man the way they balance each other is really interesting#the things they agree on and disagree on are almost arbitrary#'you can't put mouthwash in a cookie' 'trust me' vs 'we should spend 10 mil on a motorcycle instead of housing' 'that's such a cool idea'#billy trying to pep white up about the ball#'this was your dream too' like come on dude when have pete's dreams ever worked out#when have yours#'what are we gonna do now billy?' 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'#baby the bridge has never been more present#ALSO white calling billy the dreamer when HE'S the one who pushes so hard for things#billy has dreams that might not be realistic but they give him hope and he works around the way the world works to make things happen#like being a self-taught surgeon and believing in a magic ball#pete has dreams IN SPITE of what is realistic and he will mold reality to be what he wants in order to make it happen#like fixing the quizshow and pretty much everything that happened in invisible hand of fate#and they both have disabilities that affect them in vastly different ways and impact their relationship with realistic goals#like billy's hydrocephalus being presented to the audience as mostly a social issue for him and the hand and eye being marks of trauma#rather than like an actual block for him beyond needing to tune the hand up every now and then#vs white's albinism making him physically unable to be in direct sunlight and making him actively fearful of doing certain things and#being certain places#to be clear i know the actual effects of hydrocephalus as well as the hand and eye but this is based on how the show presents it#like billy took these things about himself into account and went ok these are part of my reality and i will work with them#and pete took his reality and went ok i will cover it up with fake tan and wigs or sunscreen and hats and make reality what i want it to be#and that's what makes them a good team!! that's why they science together well#it's also why they argue so much#accepting reality and playing within its constraints vs hating reality and changing it to suit you#these are the hallmarks of scientific progress
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i hate the take that akechi is "not himself" unless he's just as cold and mean as he is in third semester, that akechi and happiness and kindness are unable to coexist. maruki's reality forcibly shaves off his hard edges and that's wrong, and yes i do think akira prefers akechi genuine and he appreciates his rougher, meaner side. but to act like akira wants goro to stay bitter and jaded and cruel for the rest of his life is just? i don't get it. why would you want that for him. why do you think akechi is inherently incapable of goodness. goro doesn't have to erase himself to get better. he's capable of that all on his own even if he doesn't believe that. akechi can be happy. akechi can be happy.
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orcelito · 5 months
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I think the #1 thing to make writing good is to just. Stick to your guns. Take yourself seriously. If you treat your writing as if it's serious, even if you're doing some crazy shit, people are willing to believe it. The moment you doubt what you're doing in your writing, it's gonna shine through. So even if you're scared, pretend you're not until you get the hang of it & no longer feel so scared
It's worked for me so far 😅
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mashpotatoe · 7 months
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im a white jew, i was born in israel,
ive lived there all my life and was brought up in an environment that fosters racism driven by nationalism, nationalism driven by racism.
in israel, they teach you jews and muslims (though usually, they just say arabs) have always been enemies, the same way the US deems the entire middle east as a inherent war zone, ridding them of the responsibility for perpetuating war in thst region.
they tell you "were the fair and humane side who strives for peace! its the arabs who never accept the offer!"
i remember the first time i began doubting that sentiment was in fourth grade, when we were having a discussion in class about the character of Saul from the Torah. the teacher was talking about how Saul, the first monarch of the Kingdom of Israel, used to fight the Philistines, and when she added that the Philistines were the natural enemy of the Israelites, she asked the class what group of people is their modern equivalent to which everyone very eagerly replied "Arabs!" and nevermind that there in that same class sat two arab boys, one of whom sat next to me, who i looked at and thought "but he isnt my enemy? hes just a boy in my class."
they teach you to hate arabs. sometimes they say it outright. sometimes they say it more carefully, or make a distinction between good and bad arabs, those who are with us and those who are against us.
in a state based on the idea of (white) jewish supremacy, they teach you jews are naturally superior. they use the conspiratorial narrative of "jews controlling the world" to their favor, giving their own watered down explanation for why antisemitism exists, saying that it must be driven by jealousy.
the zionist movement always used antisemitism to its advantage, either for reinforcing the notion of jewish supremacy or appealing to the real pain and trauma of generations, people who survived the holocaust, connecting them to stolen land where they are "guaranteed" safety ergo granting "justification" for the suffering of others.
its using peoples real pain that makes fear mongering so effective, and when the israeli population grows up being told all of their neighboring countries want to kill them, they quickly get defensive of the "only land where they can feel safe", but the only explanation ever provided for Why these neighboring countries are considered enemies is because theyre arabs.
and when it comes to palestine, it isnt even recognized as a country, nor identity. just a threat. ive talked to many people who are genuinely unaware of the occupation, and they arent willing to believe it either, because the media narrative has successfully shifted the blame on hamas. because "how could it be us? we want peace! its the terrorists who make us look bad! and their children, they grow up to be antisemites*, might as well get rid of them too!" they never stop to think what environment these children must grow up in to develop these "radical" ideas.
* what they mean by antisemite is really just antizionist, but the term anti/zionist isnt practiced in local dialect, being a zionist is treated as a given
any jew who stands against israels oppression is dubbed a self hating jew, but the biggest contributors to antisemitism is the people in charge of an ethnostate, because at any moment they could decide who is not white enough to be jewish, who is too jewish to be white, who stood against the current coalition government and who is an obedient dog.
israelis arent a monolith, but many of them have been won over, convinced its an "us v them" situation, when in reality it could never be the "us" that "loses"
the israeli government was waiting for an event like the massacre on the seventh of october to declare war, to have the so called "right to defend itself", so they could initiate the final steps of an ethnic genocide and displace, if not kill, all remaining palestinians. under the guise of bringing peace.
it isnt too late to call for a permanent ceasefire, to end the occupation.
please contact your representatives, attend protests and rallies if you are able. palestine will be free, and the flowers will rise again.
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fvsm4x · 6 months
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#MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE? [Gojo Satoru]
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SUMMARY: Your boyfriend, who you loved more than anything, who was your will to live, broke up with you.
— C.W: ex-boyfriend! Gojo satoru x depressed! female reader , dark themes , slightly geto suguru x female reader , no curses au.
— WORD COUNT: 5.3k+
NEXT
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„I think we should break up.“
Gojo’s words hung in the air, as he looked into your eyes.
Your heart skipped a beat, and you fought to keep the tears at bay. You desperately tried to maintain your composure, not wanting to show Gojo just how deeply his words had wounded you.
“Why? What happened?“ You managed to ask, your voice trembling.
Gojo’s gaze softened, but his eyes held a distant look, as if his mind was already elsewhere. “I’ve found someone else,” he admitted, his words like a dagger to your fragile heart.
A whirlwind of emotions engulfed your thoughts. Insecurity, confusion, and a deep sense of betrayal washed over you. You had always known Gojo was popular, surrounded by women who seemed to possess an otherworldly beauty that you could only dream of. But you had hoped that your connection would be strong enough to withstand any external temptations.
As tears welled up in your eyes, you couldn’t help but question your own worth. Gojo had been your beacon of light, the one who had brought joy and stability into your chaotic world. You had believed that your love was strong enough to overcome any obstacles.
But now, faced with the harsh reality of Gojo’s confession, your insecurities resurfaced with a vengeance.
How could Gojo have led you on, making you believe that your love was real, only to discard you so easily for someone else?
But despite the storm of emotions raging within you, you knew that you had to find the strength to let Gojo go. You couldn’t force someone to love you, no matter how much you wanted to.
And so, with a heavy heart and tears streaming down your face, you whispered, “If that’s what you truly want, then I won’t stand in your way.”
You wiped away your tears and caught Gojo’s gaze. His eyes were filled with regret and sadness, and you could see the pain he felt in his expression. It was as if he realized the gravity of his decision and the hurt he had caused you.
“I’m so sorry,” Gojo whispered, his voice filled with genuine remorse. “I never wanted to hurt you. It’s not about your worth or how you compare to anyone else. It’s about me and my own shortcomings.”
You looked at him, surprised by his words.
“I understand,” you replied softly, your voice filled with a mix of sadness and acceptance. “I know I can’t change your feelings or make you stay. I’ll start packing my things so you can have your apartment back.”
As you rose from the plush couch, your footsteps echoed through the spacious apartment, the sound muffled by the thick carpet beneath your feet. With a heavy heart, you made your way to the bedroom you had once shared with Gojo. The room seemed to hold its breath, as if aware of the impending change that would soon occur.
You opened the grand closet, its ornate doors revealing a collection of clothes and personal belongings. The air was filled with a bittersweet nostalgia as you carefully selected each item, their presence a testament to the love and happiness you had once shared. The room seemed to whisper your name, its walls bearing witness to the countless moments of joy and intimacy that had unfolded within its confines.
As you held each cherished possession in your hands, memories flooded your mind like a river. The soft touch of Gojo's hand, the warmth of his embrace, and the laughter that had once filled the room. Each item carried a weight of emotions, a reminder of the love you had believed to be unbreakable.
Gojo, sitting on the edge of the bed, watched you with a pained expression. The reality of the situation seemed to settle in, and he realized the depth of the connection he was severing. The room felt colder, emotions hanging thick in the air.
As you folded your clothes and placed them in a suitcase, Gojo finally spoke again, his voice carrying a tinge of regret. "I never wanted it to come to this, Y/n. You deserve happiness, and I hope you find it even if it's without me."
His words lingered, a bittersweet acknowledgment of the end. The room, once filled with shared laughter and intimate moments, now felt like a haunting memory. The pain was palpable, and you couldn't help but wonder if it would ever subside.
As you zipped up your suitcase, Gojo approached, his hand hesitating in the air as if unsure whether to touch you.
He gently brushed away a tear that rolled down your cheek.
"I'm truly sorry," he murmured,
With your suitcase in hand, you stood near the doorway, taking one last look at the place that had been your shared sanctuary. It was a goodbye to not only Gojo but also to the dreams you had woven together.
As you walked out, Gojo remained in the room, the emptiness echoing the void left by the shattered relationship. The door closed behind you, sealing the end of a chapter that had once promised forever.
-
In the days that followed, the task of finding a new place to call home became increasingly overwhelming. The once vibrant city, which had once been a source of shared dreams and promises, now seemed indifferent to your struggles. Each apartment viewing brought with it a fresh wave of emotions, serving as a painful reminder of the life you had envisioned with Gojo.
In the midst of this turmoil, old habits resurfaced. You found yourself reaching for cigarettes and turning to alcohol as a means of coping.
It was disheartening, as you had believed that these vices were behind you after Gojo entered your life and seemingly fixed all your problems. But now, they have reappeared, threatening to consume you once again.
What made matters worse was the lack of support you had. There were no parents to lean on, no friends to turn to for help. You were left to navigate this challenging situation all on your own, starting from scratch.
Before meeting Gojo, you had worked countless jobs to pay your bills and support your studies, scraping by with whatever little money you had.
The weight of it all was taking its toll on you. You felt yourself falling apart, the stress and uncertainty chipping away at your resolve.
But then, Gojo appeared, and your life took an unexpected turn. It was as if the universe had conspired to bring the two of you together. The first time you laid eyes on him was when you were working as a waitress at a cozy bakery. As he walked in, time seemed to stand still. Your heart skipped a beat as you took in his striking features.
His vibrant blue eyes, reminiscent of a clear summer sky, held a depth that drew you in. His snow-white hair and lashes added an ethereal touch to his already captivating appearance. And when he smiled, it was as if the whole room lit up with warmth and charm. You were instantly captivated by his presence, unable to tear your gaze away.
To your surprise, Gojo noticed your lingering glances and, with a confident stride, approached the counter where you were working. He invited you to join him, and you couldn’t resist the opportunity to spend more time with this enigmatic man. As you sat together, indulging in delectable desserts, the hours seemed to melt away in a blur of laughter and shared stories.
Days turned into weeks, and Gojo became a regular at the bakery, always seeking your company. The two of you would engage in deep conversations that spanned a wide range of topics, from the trivial to the profound. Each interaction only deepened your connection, and before you knew it, you found yourself falling for him.
However, amidst the blossoming romance, a nagging doubt lingered in the back of your mind. You couldn’t help but notice the parade of women that seemed to surround Gojo. He would visit the bakery at least twice a week, each time accompanied by a different woman. They would engage in affectionate displays, acting as if they were a couple.
As you observed these interactions, a wave of insecurity washed over you. Comparisons became inevitable, and you couldn’t help but feel inadequate in comparison to these stunning women. Their flawless skin, plump breasts, and alluring curves seemed to highlight your own perceived shortcomings. Their beauty was undeniable, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you would ever measure up.
But despite these doubts, Gojo continued to seek your company, showing genuine interest in your thoughts, dreams, and aspirations. His actions spoke louder than words, and you began to question your own self-doubt. Perhaps there was more to this connection than meets the eye.
Maybe, just maybe, Gojo saw something in you that went beyond physical appearances.
Motivated by this newfound hope, you made a conscious effort to break free from your bad habits. Weeks turned into months, and Gojo continued to visit the bakery every day just to see you.
However, one day, something special happened. Gojo waited patiently for you to finish your shift and then walked you back to the motel where you were staying. It was during this walk that he truly realized how difficult your life actually was.
Seeing you work tirelessly, with dark circles under your eyes and wearing the same clothes day after day, Gojo couldn’t bear to see you living in such difficult conditions. He noticed the presence of alcohol and cigarettes in your room and insisted that you stay with him instead. He wanted to provide you with a better life, free from the struggles you had been facing.
And so, you took up Gojo’s offer and moved in with him.
And that's when you became a couple.
But after two years of being in a relationship with Gojo, he found someone else. The person who used to hold you in his arms, whisper sweet words of love, and make you feel like the most important person in his life was now directing those affectionate gestures towards someone else.
You didn’t want to let him go. The thought of losing him was devastating. However, you also understood that you couldn’t force him to stay with you if his heart was no longer fully committed. Questions swirled in your mind. Did you do something wrong? Were you not exciting enough for him anymore? Was there something else that led him to find someone new?
Despite the heartache, one thing remained certain- your love for Gojo would never fade. The pain of knowing that he loved someone else, someone who wasn’t you, was excruciating. No one could ever replace the way Gojo had changed you, the way he had touched your heart and made you feel alive.
You sat alone in the dimly lit motel room, a bottle of liquor in hand, you sought solace in the numbing effects of alcohol. The pain in your heart seemed unbearable, and you hoped that drowning your sorrows would provide temporary relief.
The room felt suffocating. Each sip of the bitter liquid seemed to momentarily wash away the ache, but deep down, you knew it was only a temporary escape. The truth remained that Gojo had moved on, and you were left grappling with the shattered pieces of your heart.
With a heavy sigh, you placed the half-empty bottle on the grimy nightstand and slowly rose from the disheveled bed. Your footsteps carried you towards the suitcase, which stood dutifully beside a small table, as you rummaged through its contents in search of something comfortable to wear for the night. The weight of your emotions bore down on you, causing you to push up your hoodie, removing it with a forceful toss onto the nearby chair, as you attempted to regain control over your tears.
The question echoed in your mind once again, piercing through the haze of confusion and hurt. How could he do this to you? The betrayal felt like a knife twisting in your heart, leaving you gasping for air amidst the waves of anguish.
You made your way towards the mirror. Your reflection stared back at you, a vulnerable and exposed version of yourself. The longer you gazed upon your topless form, the deeper the sadness seeped into your being. Your hand instinctively reached out, fingers grazing the surface of your bare stomach, as if trying to grasp the weight.
Could it be that your weight gain was the reason behind his abandonment? Did he no longer desire to be with you because of the changes in your body? The thought gnawed at your self-esteem, fueling the belief that the girl he now chose to be with possessed a flat stomach, a flawless figure, and enviable curves. Qualities that you, in your own eyes, did not possess.
Feeling the ache in your stomach intensify, you released your grip and turned your attention back to the task at hand. Pulling out a set of comfortable pajamas from your suitcase, you quickly changed into them, hoping that the soft fabric would provide some comfort amidst the chaos of your emotions.
As you lay down on the bed, the worn-out mattress offering little respite, your mind raced with thoughts of the uncertain future that lay before you. The realization hit hard – you would have to find a job, and fast. The fear of being kicked out of the motel, with nowhere else to go, loomed over you like a dark cloud.
You lay there, staring at the ceiling, your mind began to form a plan. You closed your eyes, the weight of exhaustion finally settling upon you.
-
Days turned into nights, and nights into days as you tirelessly searched for a job. The motel room became a temporary refuge, a place where you could rest your weary body and gather your thoughts before facing the world again. And then, finally, your efforts paid off.
You received a call from the bakery where you had once worked, offering you a position. Excitement and relief flooded through you as you accepted the job. It was a familiar place,
The first day back at the bakery was filled with a mix of nervousness and anticipation. As you stepped through the familiar doors, the scent of freshly baked bread enveloped you. The warm smiles and greetings from your former colleagues made you feel instantly welcome, as if you had never left.
You returned to your old position as a waitress and memories of Gojo lingered in the back of your mind. It had been a while since you had seen him, and you had made peace with the fact that he no longer wanted anything to do with you.
You let out a sigh as you walked over to the table where some guests were seated. Taking their orders, you jotted them down on a small notepad and headed towards the counter to place it.
As you turned around, the door opened, and there stood Gojo Satoru, looking as charming as ever. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on you, and a smile instantly spread across his face. He waved at you, and for a moment, your heart skipped a beat.
Beside Gojo stood a breathtakingly beautiful woman, exuding confidence and radiating charm. It was clear why Gojo was drawn to her, and you couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.
With a polite smile, you excused yourself and walked away, seeking solace in the different side of the bakery. Your heart raced as you tried to process the unexpected encounter. The memories of your past relationship flooded back, bringing with them a whirlwind of emotions.
In the safety of the different side, away from prying eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.
As you continued your work, serving customers and attending to their needs, you found solace in the routine. The hustle and bustle of the bakery provided a distraction, allowing you to momentarily forget the turmoil that Gojo’s presence had stirred within you.
But deep down, you knew that healing would take time. The wounds were still fresh, and seeing Gojo with someone new had reopened them. Yet, you refused to let it define you.
As you stood behind the counter, your eyes scanned the room, searching for any customer in need of your assistance. However, it seemed that everyone was content, engrossed in their conversations and meals. Your gaze involuntarily shifted towards the table where Gojo sat with his new girlfriend.
You couldn’t help but observe the way Gojo’s eyes sparkled with adoration as he looked at her. The way his face lit up with a blush whenever she smiled at him was a sight you had never witnessed before. It was as if he saw her as a goddess, someone worthy of his utmost devotion and affection.
A pang of jealousy washed over you as you compared Gojo’s current demeanor with how he had looked at you in the past. His eyes had never held that same lovesick gaze when he was with you. It was a bitter realization that he had never regarded you in the same way he now regarded this new woman.
You couldn’t help but wonder what it was about her that captivated Gojo so completely. Was it her radiant smile, her confident aura, or perhaps something deeper that you couldn’t comprehend? Whatever it was, it was clear that Gojo had found someone who made his heart race and his eyes shine with love.
As you continued to observe them from a distance, a mix of emotions swirled within you. Part of you longed for Gojo to look at you with the same intensity, to make you feel like the center of his universe. But another part of you knew that it was time to let go, to accept that Gojo had moved on and found happiness elsewhere.
With a heavy sigh, you turned your attention back to your duties, reminding yourself that your worth was not defined by Gojo’s affections.
You carefully balanced the two deserts and the cup of hot chocolate on your tray, making sure everything was secure. Lost in your thoughts, you absentmindedly glanced at the table number where this order was meant to be served. Without looking up, you started walking towards the designated table, unaware of the impending collision.
Just as you were about to lift your gaze, your body collided with someone, causing your grip on the tray to loosen. The board slipped from your hands, and the cup of hot chocolate tumbled through the air, its contents splattering onto the person you had unintentionally crashed into.
Your eyes widened in shock, and panic surged through your veins as you realized the gravity of the situation. You quickly raised your gaze, meeting the eyes of the person you had accidentally drenched with hot chocolate. And in that moment, your whole world seemed to crumble around you.
It was her. The woman for whom Gojo had left you. The same woman who had stolen his heart and shattered yours in the process. The sight of her standing before you, her face contorted in pain as tears streamed down her cheeks, was like a knife to your heart.
She hissed in pain as the scalding hot chocolate made contact with her skin, desperately trying to wipe away the sticky liquid that clung to her. Your hands trembled as you reached for tissues from a nearby table, desperately attempting to alleviate the discomfort you had caused.
But just as you were about to wipe away the hot chocolate, a forceful hand slapped yours away, taking over the task of cleaning the girl's skin. Startled, you looked up and saw Gojo, his face contorted with fury. His eyebrows knitted together as he witnessed the tears streaming down the girl's face, his protective instincts kicking in.
You stood there, next to Gojo, your voice barely audible as you muttered apologies, trying to explain that it was an accident. But Gojo's anger seemed to drown out your words. He finished wiping away the hot chocolate from the girl's skin and pulled her into his arms, shielding her from any further harm. His gaze shifted towards you, his eyes filled with a mix of disappointment and rage.
"Why would you do that?!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the air. His words pierced through your heart, intensifying the guilt that already weighed heavily upon you. You could see the hurt in his eyes, the pain of betrayal mingling with the anger. But you couldn't find the words to defend yourself, knowing deep down that there was no justification for your actions.
„It was an accident-“
He took a deep breath,"Save it, I know why you did it.“
„Just because I found someone else and that I’m happy with them doesn’t mean that you’ll get to hurt them out of jealousy!“ he spoke
„I thought you were better than that," he said. The girl, still in his arms, chimed in, her voice filled with anger. "Call your manager, you need to be fired!"
Gojo's gaze shifted back to you, his eyes searching for an explanation. The weight of his disappointment and the girl's demand for your termination bore down on you. Panic set in as you realized the implications of losing your job. You couldn't afford to be fired; you needed the money to support yourself.
Desperation filled your voice as you pleaded with Gojo, "Please, don't ask for my manager. It was just an accident. I need this job, I can't afford to lose it." Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to convey the sincerity of your plea. You knew you had made a mistake, but it was one born out of carelessness, not malice.
You instinctively grabbed Gojos' hand,“Please-!“ you begged, but your hand only got slapped away by the woman in his arms.
„And now you go touching someone’s boyfriend? What‘s wrong with you!“ the girl shouted as she slapped you.
Your head turned to the side from the force of the slap, a surge of pain radiated through your cheek. The impact left your skin hot and flushed, a visible mark of the humiliation you felt. You fought back tears, determined not to let them see your vulnerability.
With trembling hands, you gently placed your palm against your reddened cheek, trying to soothe the pain. Your eyes flickered towards the girl, searching for any sign of remorse or understanding, but all you saw was a cold, dismissive gaze. Her arms crossed defiantly, she demanded that you call for the manager, her voice dripping with disdain.
„Call the manager.“
Desperation welled up within you, and you mustered the courage to speak, your voice quivering with a mix of fear and desperation. "Wait, please! I... I really need this job," you pleaded, hoping that she would see reason, that she would understand the dire circumstances that led you to this moment.
She cut you off, her words sharp and dismissive. "I don't care, call for your manager," she interrupted, her tone leaving no room for negotiation or empathy.
Your gaze shifted towards Gojo, silently pleading for his intervention, for him to vouch for you or at least offer some support. But as you looked into his eyes, you saw a furrowed brow and a hint of disappointment. His voice, barely above a whisper, carried a weight of disbelief and disapproval. "Can't believe you would pull something like that," he murmured, his words landing like a heavy blow to your already wounded heart.
Your hand, still trembling, fell from your cheek as you straighten your posture. With a deep breath, you mustered the strength to bow,
"I'll get t-the manager right away," you said,
With a heavy heart, you turned away from Gojo and the girl, making your way towards the counter to call for the manager.
Your hands trembled slightly as you picked up the phone, dialing the number with shaky fingers. Each ring felt like an eternity, amplifying the anxiety that coursed through your veins. Finally, a voice answered on the other end, and you took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice.
"Hello- this is Y/n L/n from [Bakery]. I... I need to speak with the manager, please," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. The person on the other end assured you that they would connect you, and you waited anxiously, your heart pounding in your chest.
As you waited, your mind raced with thoughts of the consequences that awaited you. Losing this job would mean losing your only source of income, and the financial strain it would bring was overwhelming. You couldn't bear the thought of disappointing your loved ones or struggling to make ends meet.
Finally, the manager's voice came through the line, and you mustered up the courage to explain the situation. You recounted the accident, your sincere apologies, and the girl's demand for your termination. The manager listened attentively, their voice calm and composed as they absorbed the details.
After a brief pause, the manager spoke, their tone firm yet compassionate. "I will come over to assess the situation and speak with all parties involved. Please remain calm and await my arrival."
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you hung up the phone.
As you turned around, you noticed Gojo and the girl engaged in a hushed conversation. Their expressions were still filled with anger and disappointment, but there was also a hint of uncertainty. You approached them cautiously, your eyes downcast.
"I've c-called the manager," you said softly,"They will be here soon to address the situation. I... I'm truly sorry for what happened. It was never my intention to cause any harm or distress."
„Sure“ the girl replied.
-
Months had passed since that fateful encounter at the café. You had lost your job, the incident with Gojo and the girl tarnishing your reputation and leading to your dismissal. Now, you found yourself standing by the reception desk of another run-down motel, desperately seeking a place to stay for the night because you got kicked out of the last one.
As you approached the receptionist, a tired-looking man with a permanent scowl on his face, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of anxiety.
“Excuse me,” you began, your voice wavering slightly. “I was wondering if you have any available rooms for tonight?”
The receptionist glanced up from his paperwork, his eyes narrowing as he took in your disheveled appearance. His tone was curt as he replied, “We do have a few rooms left, but I’ll need payment upfront.”
Your heart sank. You had been scraping by, barely making ends meet, and the little money you had left was barely enough to cover your basic necessities.
“I… I’m sorry,” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t have enough money to pay for a room.”
The receptionist’s scowl deepened, his impatience evident. “Look, we can’t just give away rooms for free. If you can’t pay, then I suggest you find somewhere else to go.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the gravity of the situation. You were alone, with nowhere to turn and no one to rely on. The weight of your mistakes and the consequences they had brought upon you felt suffocating.
With a heavy heart, you turned away from the reception desk, feeling the eyes of the other guests in the lobby on you, judging and pitying your predicament. As you walked towards the exit, a mix of shame and desperation washed over you, threatening to consume your spirit.
Outside, the cold night air greeted you, a stark reminder of your current reality. You stood on the sidewalk, feeling lost and defeated. The world seemed to blur around you as you pondered your next move, wondering how you had ended up in this dire situation.
Suddenly, a voice chimed in from behind, jolting you out of your thoughts. Startled, you turned around to find yourself face to face with Geto, your ex's best friend. His black eyes bore into yours, his raised eyebrows conveying curiosity and surprise. His gaze drifted to the suitcase clutched tightly in your hand, a silent question hanging in the air.
"Geto?" you questioned, your voice tinged with confusion.
A puff of smoke escaped his lips as he exhaled the cigarette between his fingers,"How many times do I have to tell you, you can call me Suguru," he replied,
“Why are you here?” he asked, standing before you and peering into your eyes. But before you could answer, another question slipped from his lips, catching you off guard. “Where is Satoru?”
The realization hit you like a punch to the gut. He didn’t know. How could he not know? Wasn’t he Satoru’s best friend? Shouldn’t he have been informed about the breakup that had occurred just last month? Did Gojo, your ex, not bother to share the news with him?
“Didn’t Satoru tell you?” you asked, breaking eye contact with him, unable to bear his gaze any longer.
“Tell me what?” he questioned. He removed the cigarette from his lips and threw it to the ground, crushing it under his shoe.
“That we broke up,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. As you watched his reaction, you noticed a flicker of surprise in his eyes before he regained his composure.
“You two broke up..?” he questioned,“Since when did you-”
“Last month we broke up,” you interrupted,
“Is there any reason why you two broke up? Everything was good, wasn’t it?” As he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.
“He…” you hesitated, your gaze shifting to the side. “He found someone else,” you admitted, your lips trembling slightly.
“Oh,” he responded, his hand retracting from your shoulder as he crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes turned towards the night sky, lost in his own thoughts, before refocusing on you. “And why are you here in the middle of the night?” he asked, his gaze scanning you from head to toe, taking in your worn-out clothes. His eyes returned to your face.
“I got kicked out of the motel because I couldn’t pay for it anymore,” you replied,
His brows furrowed,"I'm so sorry to hear that," he said softly,"You shouldn't have to go through this alone."
Without hesitation, he reached out and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "Listen, I have an idea," he said,"Why don't you come stay with me until you find a job and get back on your feet?"
Surprised by his offer, you looked at him,"I- I can‘t do that-!" you spoke.
A warm smile spread across his face. "Of course you can," he replied. "I have a spare room and it would be my pleasure to help you out. Sometimes, all we need is a little support to get back on track."
„But-!“
„No buts.“
"Thank you," you whispered, "I don't know what to say..."
He smiled warmly, his eyes sparkling,"No need to thank me," he insisted. "We all go through tough times, and sometimes we just need a helping hand. If there's anything else I can do, please don't hesitate to ask."
He took the suitcase from your hand and turned around, walking towards his house. "Let's go," he said, looking back at you.
You nodded and followed after him.
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NEXT
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rubys-domain · 11 months
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listening to imperfect love always gets me a little emo
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#like... those lyrics#are so fucking sweet#the last line especially almost always brings a tear to my eye#I appreciate songs that can make me cry. But like,gently. Some songs just aggressively prompt the waterworks and i'm not cool with that#if that makes any sense#I bury my own feelings so much that it takes prompting to let myself feel some things#yeah this song is pretty hopeful lyrics-wise. but personally,it allows me to mourn#mourn what our relationship could've been#the relationship is on the rocks right now. and honestly,it was inevitable#we're still together. but I feel like it's only a matter of time before we break up for real#I used to be really scared of that happening. but now I'm halfway towards accepting it#there's no animosity between us or anything. it's just... we're finally facing the fact that we're not as compatible as we thought we were#and we tried really hard to make things work. ppl irl see us and think we're like a perfect couple#but in reality it took massive effort and a lot of pain on both sides to make it work#we've been together for a couple years now. and I still love him more than anyone else in the world#I'd like to think he loves me just as much. even though it's still really hard for me to believe that someone could love me#(which is also kinda part of the problem but I digress)#anyway,yeah. I'm too used to being with him at this point. we'll still be friends after we break up,but#I'm going to need a long... long mourning period...#I guess it can come off kinda dramatic that I'm calling it a “mourning period.” and yeah it kind of is#but we spent literal /years/ together and invested so much into the notion of being together forever#that I think calling it mourning is kind of justified
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yandere-writer-momo · 3 months
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Thinking about a Yandere Demon Lord. This is Part 1.
Yandere Head Canons:
Defying Destiny
Yandere Demon Lord x Isekai Saintess Reader x Yandere Hero
TW: Voyeurism, stalking, Somniaphilia, dacryphillia, dark content, etc
Part 2
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You were surprised to be alive after your cold fiancé pushed you into oncoming traffic when you got into an argument with him… all you had wanted was for him to show you that he loved you, but instead he killed you. Yet your life didn’t end… no. Far from it.
Rather than waking up in the supposed after life, you woke up in the Rerenth Kingdom. A fantasy kingdom in a magical world plagued with problems written in fiction novels. And the emperor explained to you, no, demanded that you to take on your role as Saintess to save them from the Demon King.
The demon king was now your enemy. Defeating him was the only way for you to go home… but did you even want to do that? In your last life and in this one, you were merely another unhappy pawn. The silk robes and dazzling abilities did nothing to shield you from the harsh reality of what your life has become once more… would you ever truly be free? Would you ever truly be happy?
The servants often spoke of the monstrous Demon King who controlled the forces of darkness that sought to destroy the light. A demonic entity none of the people in this kingdom had ever truly seen with their own eyes, but they believed him to be out there… how else were they to explain the supernatural happenings that plagued their kingdom? This entire ordeal made little sense to you since you hadn’t seen many disputes between humans and demons unless they were over territory. Vast majority of the time, it was humans that ventured into the demonic lands anyways. Was this perhaps some propaganda tactic? You didn’t know and you didn’t question it, you simply wanted to retire to a peaceful life.
It took a few weeks for you to be able to control your new holy power, but you were able to now harness it for barriers and for healing. Abilities that would be useless without a hero… a fact that the citizens soon realized so they began to devise another plan. To summon a hero!
Another few weeks passed by and they successfully summoned a valiant hero by the name of Reinhardt. His chiseled face was constantly covered by the taxidermied lion mask that adorned his face. The man was massive and intimidating, yet you couldn’t help but feel there was something familiar about him. You couldn’t place a finger on who he could possibly be since you didn’t know anyone else with an imposing stature like his but that gut feeling never left you.
Reinhardt would often glance you up and down when he thought you weren’t looking. His green eyes would bore into yours until you felt as if you’d be set ablaze. He was terrifying to you. Especially now that you were on a journey with him to defeat the demon king… along with a fox beastwoman fighter and an elven mage who had joined your party due to the emperor’s order. The Emperor didn’t see you to be enough aid to the hero on this important quest.
Both adventurers were quite rude to you at first since you had no offensive abilities. They often fawned over the hero who blatantly ignored their affections to instead watch over you like a hawk. A fact the two women didn’t really enjoy, but they accepted it as the weeks melted into months. And you still didn’t know their names since they never told you (and Reinhardt never spoke).
The three of them often fought and killed monsters and demons while you protected the supplies and healed their injuries. It upset you that your party ambushed them since the enemies usually were unarmed. Majority of the time, it was a one-sided slaughter. An endless bloodbath that you had no power to stop.
You often lied to your peers about monsters hiding, unaware that your small act of kindness would lead to a snowball effect in the future. You had now caught the eye of an entity much stronger than you and the hero’s party… all because you were merciful. You were kind and sweet. A true saintess.
Your softness had made your peers joke about you being a cry baby. The elven mage and beastwoman often jabbed their elbows into your side to joke about the tears you’d cry because they thought you were scared. The dense women never realized your tears were for the innocent monsters they slaughtered on a day to day basis too. You were never scared of the demons or monsters, you were scared of them.
Yet Reinhardt nipped the subtle bullying in the bud by shoving the other two adventures away from you with his strong arms. He always made sure you were safe before he offered his body for healing… which he’d just make gesture at you with his hands rather than speak. It seemed he was fond of you, a fondness you didn’t understand since he never spoke to you.
Reinhardt would often pick you up without asking you and tuck you into the crook of his large arm. It bothered you that he never took off his mask, but he had quite an attractive jawline with the slightest bit of stubble. There was not a doubt in your mind that Reinhardt was likely an attractive man, but that didn’t matter. Since he was creepy.
Reinhardt never uttered a word to you but would always dutifully stand by your side (or carry you like some sort of damsel). He often reminded you of your ex fiancé with his stoic demeanor and his bewitching green eyes. And the staring. You swore you felt bare under his gaze even if you had multiple layers on.
And it wasn’t just his eyes you felt on you, you swore there was someone else watching you in the shadows and the possibility of you having another stalker made your skin crawl. Had you finally gone insane from having Reinhardt be around you 24/7? Or was there something sinister amiss?
Maybe that’s why Reinhardt so dutifully clung to you? Whether his protection was out of obligation or simply because he lusted for you, his presence did little to ease the extra set of eyes. In fact, he made it worse.
Wherever you were, Reinhardt was never far. He was with you when you bathed to stand guard. He was carrying you if you couldn’t keep up with him and the rest of the hero’s party. Reinhardt even began to stay in your tent with you…
He didn’t utter a word when he watched over you whenever you had nightmares. Reinhardt never woke you up from the horrific dreams of the man with pitch black hair and sharp talons pulling you into his lap and having his way with you. No, Reinhardt instead dragged his tongue down your tear stricken face in delight.
Reinhardt knew his actions were wrong, but he couldn’t help but fawn over your helpless form. You were so weak without his protection… you were a lamb sent to a slaughter that luckily had a herding dog with you. You should be grateful Reinhardt had such an intense interest in you, otherwise you could have perished earlier on at the goblin camps. Or those other two party members would have likely broken a few of your bones from rough housing. You were a frail bird that needed to be locked up at all times and Reinhardt was willing to be the one to do that! He would keep you safe, even if it took you years to understand even an ounce of his magnitude of feelings for you. He was a patient man!
It wasn’t uncommon for you to wake up in your tent with Reindhart’s imposing form standing over you ominously. You’d cry every single time, but he’d make no move to comfort you. Only stare.
Over the last four weeks, you begin to receive little trinkets in your tent on the daily. Delicacies that Reinhardt would immediately pitch once he saw them, but it filled you with anxiety that he was not the one slipping you those gifts… who on earth could be gifting you such pretty rocks and wild flowers?
You were flattered, just the tiniest bit, by the small, temporary gifts. They were much more welcomed than the iron grip of Reinhardt’s arms. Even though the sender made you anxious, it was nice to know that someone took you into consideration. It was a small action that filled you with hope. Perhaps you would be saved from this fate?
Shame you didn’t understand just how much those tiny gifts upset the hero. Your eyes should only be on him. Your entire purpose should revolve around him. Reinhardt wanted to find the individual who sent you these gifts so he could rip them limb from limb. You belonged to him and he would show you that you had no way of escaping him. You were going to be his bride! Whether you liked it or not, the hero had chosen you as his destined one!
Recently, you’d wake up to him laying beside you in your tent with his large arms wrapped around you. His Roman nose buried into the crook of your neck. This was far worse than him lingering in your tent since he had become so physical.
And your peers did nothing about his harassment of you. To them, it was cute that the hero was so ‘enamored’ with the Saintess! You’ve even heard whispers of how the emperor will no doubt arrange a marriage between the two of you once the four of you eliminated the demon king. It terrified you even more because you knew you’d have little say in the matter… your life was spiraling out of your own control once more. This time, into the arms of some brute with attachment issues. You didn’t want to marry another emotionally constipated man! You wanted to have freedom!
You often cried yourself to sleep which only made Reinhardt even more overbearing. He now would press kisses to your cheeks and cuddle his body into yours. Even in your dreams, you couldn’t escape this massive man. If only you could be saved…
And when you drifted off into an unnaturally heavy sleep, your barriers deactivated. An action that allowed the Demon King to finally slip into your party’s camp and take what he wanted. You.
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artist-issues · 6 months
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If you haven’t seen Wish yet and you love Disney, do not go see it. I am telling you now. It is ripping out the hearts of the Disney movies you love and then waving their corpses around as if celebrating those hearts.
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I’ll explain why, again: the message of Wish? Awful. Anti-Disney.
But they've been doing this for a long time. Saying one thing with their movies, and saying another with their PR and Disney Parks Soundtracks.
I'll explain.
Main Idea of Disney's Wish (and the You Are the Magic theme park song and merch): "The power to make your wishes come true is in you."
Most Disney Movies' Idea on How to Have Wishes: "Do what's right, (trust a higher power) and something even more wonderful than what you wished will happen."
Don't try to argue with me about this. You have to look underneath the slogans and the sweater designs and the song titles to what the stories actually support to acknowledge this.
Because you can’t say “do what’s right” has power unless you answer the question “who gets to decide ‘what’s right?’” (Which, coincidentally, is a question Wish brings up and then doesn’t answer.)
Audiences of Disney used to accept that wishing on a star was much like prayer; there’s something you long for, and it’s out of your hands, but you wish for it and you do what you know is right in the meantime. And you’re not crushed, you’re not downhearted, because somewhere in your mind you trust that the combo of those two things—wishing on a higher power and diligence to do what’s good—will be what makes your wish come true.
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Trust in a higher power—COMBINED WITH:
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—diligence to do what’s good.
The Blue Fairy (higher power) gave Geppetto his wish specifically because he had demonstrated commitment to do good, whether he got what he wanted or not. The Fairy Godmother (higher power) gave Cinderella her wish specifically because she kept on being kind and good to low creatures like mice and wicked stepsisters, whether she got what she wanted or not.
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Do you know why that combo (higher power + diligence to do good) is impactful? Timeless? Important?
Because it’s selfless. You want something, but you’re not going to sacrifice doing the right thing to get it. You’re not going to focus so hard on making what you want a reality, on your own, that you miss out on things that could be more important than what you want. And, you’re not so self-focused as to believe that if you don’t do it, it won’t get done.
Jeez, that’s the whole point of The Princess and the Frog!
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Tiana wishes to have her own restaurant, and she believes that only her own hard work will grant that wish. She misunderstands her dad’s advice before he dies. She isn’t willing to trust a higher power combined with her own diligence to do good—she only trusts her own ability.
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It’s not until she realizes that Ray, the character of faith, was right all along that she learns—what she wished for was too self-focused. It wasn’t complete without love. Something bigger than herself. And getting that was never going to happen just based on her own hard work.
But you know what? It was never going to happen just by a “higher-power” flavored shortcut, either. Because Facilier offers her her wish if she’ll just trust him, no hard work needed. But what does she say?
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Trust in a higher power + diligence to do what’s right = selflessness, and getting more than you could have ever wished for. And if your wish is selfish, doing those two things will change your wish into something selfless.
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More examples? Get ‘em while they’re hot, in case Wish made you forget, just like the current #NotMyDisney executives have forgotten, what real Disney wishes are for.
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Belle wishes to have adventures in the great wide somewhere--but when she's imprisoned and that chance is taken from her it's not reversed because she worked hard to make her wish come true. It's granted because she gave up her wish for her father: she just did the right thing, regardless of her wish. And in the end, she does get what she wished for, which is adventure in an enchanted castle...and much more, because she gets true love, a throne, and a castle full of friends.
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How about the One Who Started It All? The one Wish is failing to pay genuine tribute to?
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Snow White wishes for someone to love her, and he does--but when they're separated, she does not exercise power to make The Prince come back to her. Instead, she loves who she can where she’s at—the Dwarfs. In the meantime, she has faith that he will keep his promise, and that pure trust in a higher power outside of her control is a big contributing factor to why the Dwarfs come to love her, and learn from her...and in the end, even more than she could've wished happens. He does take her to his castle, but she also has seven new friends who also love her, and the Queen is dead. And she didn’t need to use “the power in her” to work harder and get it done. She just needed to not focus so much on herself at all.
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How about a male main character? One who’s wish starts out selfish, but after learning to wish on a higher power and be diligent to do the right thing, gets more than he could wish for?
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Aladdin wishes to be somebody different (somebody he believes Jasmine could love, somebody who lives in a palace and is respected and “never has any troubles at all.”)—but doing everything in his own power for that wish proves that it was selfish all along; so he switches to doing the right thing, regardless of if his wish comes true, and he gets even more than he could’ve wished. He gets real love with Jasmine, he gets his friend Genie, and he gets to be free from feeling “trapped” because he doesn’t have to hide who he is anymore.
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Or Simba?
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Simba wishes to get to do whatever he wants as King—but when Mufasa dies and he’s convinced it’s his fault, it isn’t for that wish that he goes back to Pride Rock to confront his past and his Uncle. It’s because he had an encounter with a higher power—his father—that helped him to realize his wish was selfish all along. He gives up the selfish wish, and he goes back to take his place as king, not so he can do whatever he wants, but so that he can take self-sacrificial responsibility that comes with ruling. And because he just does the right thing, finally, he gets more than what he wished for.
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How about something more recent? Zootopia.
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Judy wishes to make the world a better place by proving she can be what she wants to be and catching bad guys—but when she tries to make her wish happen on her own, in her own abilities, she fails and is forced to realize that she should’ve been looking for help by understanding “bad guys,” like Nick. It’s only after she humbled herself, admits she’s wrong, and changes her wish from “proving I can be what I want and catching bad guys” to “proving that understanding each other makes the world a better place” (much less self-focused) that her wish comes true—and so much more. She does make the world a better place, and she does get to catch bad guys, but she also gets to befriend one who was a good guy all along, and become all-around more effective at her dream job.
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This is how Disney always has been. Because it’s at the heart of good storytelling, and even life (not to get too dramatic.)
The power is not in you. Because it’s not about you. Self-sacrifice, faith, and doing the next right thing regardless of if you get your heart’s fondest desire is what makes more than just your wishes come true. And there has to be belief in a higher power to make that message powerful.
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But Wish?
Not only is it bad at showing instead of telling. Not only is it lazy and soulless.
But it’s characters rip the Star out of the sky and say “don’t wish on this. Wish on yourself, to get what you wish for. You don’t need a higher power. You don’t even need to sacrifice to do what’s good—whatever you do is good, because you are the one doing it.”
That is wrong. That is not true, and it is not powerful. There’s no sacrifice in focusing on or placing your trust totally in yourself, and it undoes every good thing Disney has done up until now.
And it undoes it on the 100th anniversary, and it flaunts Easter eggs of the very things it’s undoing.
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milkykotek · 1 month
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success story: celebrity crush turned boyfriend
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First off, I'm aware people may not believe me. However, that's completely fine! I simply don't care, because it happened, and I wanted to share. I will not be sharing explicit details due to privacy reasons for both me and my boyfriend, especially since he is a popular actor.
It took me a few weeks because I didn't want to jump into dating immediately. However, you can immediately manifest anything and quantum jump! I chose to do it step by step.
"Dp" is a term used in the LOA (Law of Affirmation, Assumption and/or Attraction) community to describe your desired person. It can be anyone. 3D is the 3d dimension, the world you see in front of you. 4D is your thoughts and the reality where everything you want is accomplished.
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It happened, but... what did?
I manifested my celebrity crush! I've been interested in him for some time now (due to personal reasons me and my now ex boyfriend – whom I manifested, too – have broken up). It was quite a wild ride, to be completely honest, and as always, I turned out successful!
There seems to be a blockage many face while manifesting celebrities, or otherwise famous/popular people. They're putting them on a pedestal, and so shifting the focus from actually manifesting to idolizing them. Of course, if you're manifesting a celebrity sp, you're most likely a fan of them already – that's not the point.
You're god, you're on top of the universe, you're the most important person there is. I don't care, and neither should you, about your circumstances. They're nothing but that – a circumstance in the 3D. As we all know, the 3D reflects our beliefs, assumptions, and the things we attract by engaging them. We engage them by giving them attention and reacting. An example can be someone giving you a dirty look – "Oh my god, they hate me!," you could think, and that is your assumption. You're not sure if they were even looking at you, because they could've been looking behind you, or simply have a resting b*tch face. And so, you thinking they frowned at you is an assumption. It's quite easy to create one.
And it's also easy to change that! The LOA (Law of Attraction, Assumption and/or Affirmation) community likes to overcomplicate manifesting by claiming it is hard to change your beliefs. It really is not. Every time you encounter a negative thought (thoughts create assumptions, assumptions show up in the 3D), simply change it. It's as easy as it seems. "I feel so sad", you can change that by saying, "I'm so happy and relaxed". Don't accept things you don't want to experience. Something happened that upset you? No, it didn't. Instead of dwelling on it, ignore it or affirm "It never happened", create a new story, "(something else) happened".
how did you manifest a celebrity dp?
You manifest a celebrity just like you manifest anyone else. They're human, and I don't believe in free will – anything I don't want, I change. It may sound weird, but is there even such thing as normal when it comes to manifesting and all the possibilities the universe offers?
The only thing you must do is take them off the pedestal and regain your power and control. It's not about them – it's about you. They're the obsessed one, they're the one manifesting you, you're on their mind.
If you're searching for a recipe, there is none. However, I can share a few ingredients – things that helped me:
— affirming. Affirming is nothing more than repeating what you want to happen, ex. "My dp loves me."
— persisting. You really don't want to give up until you see results. Of course, it doesn't mean you have to manifest 24/7, but then again, we think all the time, and so we manifest all the time, too.
— living in the end. Living in the end is living as if you already had your desire. How would you feel? How would you act, what would you do? Surely you wouldn't be stressing over results and whatever it is you're manifesting, because you'd already have it. Belief isn't necessary as long as you affirm and persist, but it sure does help.
— having someone to talk to. Having someone you can talk to about your manifestation journey and being supported was really important to me. I want to thank my best friends Star and Aurora, for always supporting and believing in me ❤️. Others would've called me delusional but you guys stood by my side.
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proof:
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Just breathe. For this part, I wanted to share some affirmations I used.
"Everything I want is mine. Everything I want, I get. I want it, I've got it. I'm a master manifestor. I always manifest whatever I desire and want."
"My dp (insert their name) loves me. My dp wants me. My dp is obsessed with me. My dp constantly texts me. My dp is texting me right now. My dp misses me. I am constantly on my dp's mind. My dp is constantly thinking about me. My dp is my boyfriend (or girlfriend, partner, anything you desire). I am my dp's best friend and soulmate."
Good luck ❤️. 222
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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months
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How’d they react to finding you sleeping anywhere but the bed…
Dick: sharing the dog bed with Hayley (fail):
At first he thought something was wrong when he didn’t hear you or Hayley greet him home and soon began to search the spy for you both.
So the moment he finds you fast asleep on Hayley’s dog bed with Hayley tucked closely into your chest, head resting underneath your chin. His heart immeditly melted and his phone was out and taking photos nearly every 0.5 seconds, only until he was forced to stop due to how much storage they took up but he didn’t regret it.
Not one bit. He even has one printed out that he kept on him to look at whenever he felt as though he needed to be reminded of how he had waiting back home for him.
You both were effortlessly cute to Dick, he couldn’t help it but feel a little left out as he then tries to join you in the dog bed, only to almost ends up capsizing the three of you and waking both you and Hayley, who began licking his face as her tail smacks you in the arm repeatedly.
‘What were you trying to do?’ You asked Dick, sitting up.
Dick pouted. ‘Join in the fun.’
‘We were sleeping in a dog bed, how’s that fun.’ You said, not bothering to add the fact that you had accidentally fell asleep on Hayley’s dog bed because you were waiting up for him but failed.
‘Fun to me is wherever you and Hayley are.’ Dick answered truthfully.
You smiled as you kissed his cheek. ‘You’re such a dork, you know that right.’ You told him.
‘Yes. And?’ He says cheekily, more than happy to be home with his little family.
Bruce: in the Batmobile:
Alfred told him where you were and that you best be moved to a more comfortable place then the passenger seat of the Batmobile.
How you got in there was a mystery to both men but what was more impressive was how you could possibly sleep against those hard rich leather seats in the first place.
Bruce couldn’t blow but let out a little chuckle when he opened the side door, just to see you with your face half pressed against the seats before jolting yourself awake.
‘Wha- I didn’t do nothing officer it was the dog.’ You said groggily as you tried to blink the sleep from your eyes as they tried to bring reality into focus.
‘Have a good nap did we?’ Bruce asks, finding some amusement in your half asleep nonsense.
‘Why, who’s asking?’ You replied.
‘Your consciousness.’ Bruce joked sarcastically. ‘Come on let’s get you to bed before you develop a-‘
‘Ow my neck.’ You groaned as you held a hand to your neck the moment you tried to move it.
‘-Crooked neck.’ Bruce sighs as he offers you a hand. ‘Come on, let’s go find Alfred so that we can alleviate you of this pain.’ You pouted as you grabbed onto his hand and letting him pull you out of the Batmobile. ‘Alfred is going to scold me isn’t he?’ You asked. ‘Yes, I’m afraid so.’ Bruce answered as he helps guide you out of the Batcave.
Alfred’s scoldings were nothing to scoff at, and Bruce would know as he’s been on the receiving end of a few before in the past. After all getting scolded by Alfred was enough to set a stubborn man straight.
‘Damn.’ You muttered.
Damian: in the barn, on top of Goliath:
He didn’t have to look far, he knew you’d be in the barn but what he wasn’t expecting was for you to be fast asleep on top of his demonic dragon bat, whom had draped a protective wing over you as though it were swaddling you in an extremely warm blanket.
He had told you about the story of how he met Goliath and took him home on more then one occasion, as it was secretly his favourite story because it helped him with his own internal struggles on who he should be, and also how his past doesn’t define him, but what he chooses to do in the future does.
So seeing you cuddled up to Goliath without an ounce of care made him smile a little to himself at the prospect of you accepting him for who he was truly, rather than believe what other people viewed him as. You stood out of the crowd rather than follow it and Damian couldn’t be more grateful for you sticking by him, even through the extremely tough times where even he thought he went too far with his outbursts towards you.
‘Tt. Idiot.’ He says affectionately as he walks further into the barn, stopping along the way to pet BatCow and Jerry the Turkey. ‘Aren’t they?’ He asks both animals who only blinked at him as they mindlessly chewed on their food. Damian hums. ‘You’re right, they may be an idiot but they’re still my idiot at the end of the day.’
Damian ends up falling asleep against BatCow’s side as Jerry the Turkey made himself comfortable on his lap.
Jason: kitchen counter:
Him and Roy have a bet on where Jason would find you asleep next.
It had happened way too often for them that they’d hates themselves forever for not making a game out of it at any point in their lives.
This time Roy betted that you’d fall asleep on the kitchen counter, whereas Jason believes you’ll fall asleep against the window sill.
So when Jason got back home late one night after patrol, he immeditly went to look for you at the window sill. Nothing. ‘Damn it Roy.’ He cursed under his breath as he then walked into the kitchen, praying that he wouldn’t have to tell his friend that he won the bet for the eighth consecutive time.
Only for you to be fast asleep on the fucking kitchen counter, just as Roy predicted you would. Jason felt as though his friend was cheating somehow because it didn’t make sense for him to have correctly predicted where you’d be found sleeping as often as he did. Unfortunately for Jason, he couldn’t back up his claim as to why he thought Roy cheated, for there wasn’t any substantial evidence to prove that Roy was cheating.
And so with a heavy heart, Jason walked over and pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling out his phone to text Roy that he has won…again, and pocketing his phone as he carried you off to your shared room. ‘I love you chipmunk but you’ve got to start sleeping in places where I’ll surefire win the bet against Roy next time okay?’ He says against your head, kissing it.
‘Okay. I’ll try.’ You murmured.
‘That’s my baby.’ Jason said as he tucked you into bed before following suit.
The next day, Roy was smirking like a Cheshire Cat as he talked about his eighth consecutive victory, whereas Jason looked about ready to strangle the next person who looked at him funny.
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anantaru · 8 months
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EX HUSBAND NEUVILLETTE
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— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — ex! husband neuvillette headcanons
— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ex]plicit, fem! reader, fluff, crack lmao, he‘s trying his best, very rough like he’s feral!!!!, fucks you like there’s no tomorrow, but the sweetest man, a little possessive without him realising
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ex! husband neuvillette, who— as was wildly anticipated, would not instantly vanish from your life nor leave you stranded alone beside the mental toll that a separation would leave on the both of you— even after the grief-stricken divorce was at last, ultimately finalized and carried out.
ex! husband neuvillette who thought that— with the fullness of his devastated heart, that in his own very eyes, it was beyond a doubt commonplace to aid and assist his ex-wife in the so called "aftermath" of your troubling divorce, whilst more urgently, be in no qualms that you're being cared for with everything and anything you could possible need.
ex! husband neuvillette, who of course, would double check with you to not suddenly overstep any boundaries or take up space that you might need— yet bare in mind, if you were to ask him for help on any matter really, he'd immediately leave everything behind to fulfill your wishes first, considering he is used to it, but the man will tend to forget about his own personal needs which he needed so he could function properly— yet now with you out of the picture, walking back to his current reality was becoming a taxing task.
ex! husband neuvillette, who, aside from his own separate challenges and demands, would never dare to cast aside his important work of practically running the nation of hydro. much obliged, he was a prestigious, praiseworthy man, thus the reason for him to pull more effort and sleepless nights into his occupation.
ex! husband neuvillette who couldn't believe that you both were divorced in the first place because in all seriousness, there wasn't much changing and aside from a couple instances, for example that he wasn't seeing you frequently, it felt the same way to him.
ex! husband neuvillette who, after a couple weeks into your divorce, will suddenly become a little more distant, not responding to letters you would occasionally send to make sure he was okay— with the immediate turbulent, overcast weather in fontaine adding to the closing eeriness of the entire situation. it's constant, clouded and gray, a mirage of cold rain and an incoming storm, and the people of fontaine will begin to question what had happened or if it was simply an unlucky past couple of weeks.
ex! husband neuvillette who doesn't like the idea of divorce, as might be expected he understands it, but in his own regard, he does not approve of it, but he accepts it— additionally, he wouldn't force you to stay with him, again, why he had agreed on it in the first place. the man would lie to himself if he'd say that it doesn't break his heart, the unclouded thought of wholly erasing the person he referred to as his 'wife' off his entire life was a frightening pondering.
ex! husband neuvillette wasn't willing to accept it, ever, but he did it for your sake and the small possibility of you becoming close again, in the future? perhaps, he was willing to wait endlessly, condemning himself to a lifetime in darkness, knowing full on well that his most desired dream to reconcile arguably wouldn't come true— on top of that, after careful, deep talks on how to properly navigate your divorce and being separated from now on, you have both ultimately agreed on remaining 'friends' in a sense, such was easy to state of course but you longed to make the best out of it, or at least try.
ex! husband neuvillette who will against all odds, still keep his wedding ring put on its designated place. granted, he had gotten quite accustomed to the feeling of it being wrapped around his finger and doesn't want to take it off. if you do decide to ask him about it, given that you aren't wearing yours anymore, he will plainly state that he got used to it way too much and it had grown on him, really, becoming a part of his person so ultimately taking it off would result in the same as him severing a limb off his body.
ex! husband neuvillette who still calls you his wife unintentionally, in the beginning of the first couple of weeks, it will happen almost all the time. be that as it may, he doesn't do it on purpose to somehow hurt you or make you uncomfortable, and he was aware of the fact that he needed to get accustomed to the feeling of being single again, of not being married anymore but calling you his wife just warmths his chest and hugs him from inside and out.
ex! husband neuvillette bets on it, it's like his whole day could be stacked with work on end, without a second of tranquility in sight, rain droplets covering the nation of hydro, but when he thinks about you, only you, a smile coruscates over his soft lips, increasing his heart beat, it's all so painful but he wouldn't want it any other way because nothing, and he emphasizes it deeply, nothing would be as painful as having you gone form his life.
ex! husband neuvillette who, and pay attention now, this would only happen if his strong, rational thinking skills and durable emotions towards keeping the laws of this world truthful were somewhat altered in an instance of weakness, but he would adore to throw and punish every new person you would date after him behind bars, yet not before properly dragging them to a trail that they cannot win, for him to look down on them— again, it's a small fantasy he wouldn't bring into life, he honored his noble work.
ex! husband neuvillette who knows that even day dreaming about such wrongful ideas were full of holes and malice, yet beyond it, he keeps himself restrained in not interfering in your new relationships— which he had thought must be a lot, you could say he believed that you were already out and about in the dating world, overthinking the worst out of all possibilities that could happen.
ex! husband neuvillette who will oftentimes send the melusines out to check up on you and tell him how you're doing— no, don't misunderstand, he doesn't want to know if you were dating again, he wouldn't, after all, this was your personal life and he wasn't your husband anymore. but then again, surely checking every now and then wouldn't hurt a soul, right?
ex! husband neuvillette will send you freshly picked flowers frequently, or have your favorite dish made by a professional chef. how can i forget to mention that he tends to buy a small, cute souvenir that would remind him of you and send it your way instantly. at how things were slowly progressing, the man will be quite embarrassed in facing you again, granted that you had promised to remain friends, he fears that the constant raining and pouring around fontaine would make it desperately obvious on how he was truly feeling, what can there be left anyways, nothing but the untouchable part of him, his aching soul begging for closeness.
but ex! husband neuvillette does not want to trouble you, fearing he might become overbearing in his doings, but he misses you, this time it's more raw than that, more exposed, more pure. he longes for a moment where he can see and feel you again, his mind circling through emotions and pondering, sinful dreams stitching his psyche together and calming down his heart.
ex! husband neuvillette who will be surprised, yet overly thrilled as if he was about to jump off his chair, when you ask the sweet melusines to hand him over a letter— the scent of the thin paper reminding him of your fragrance, a similar one he noticed whenever he kissed your neck. beyond question, they couldn't have told him fast enough, he finishes up the necessary work load for the day, at once forging ahead to your once shared house. you know it by now but he does not falter, he wants this to be perfect, carefully picking up a bouquet of flowers, with the flowers in questions being the very ones that have been decorating your wedding venue back in the day, oh sweet memories, he hopes he doesn't come off as crazy.
ex! husband neuvillette who tries to play it cool, it's not a big deal, but why were his hands sweating? his breathing was fast too, burgeoning, each following step towards your home, his limbs and muscles would begin to tremble, it's evident and almost aflame, but the weather has been nice again all of a sudden, for once in fontaine and he couldn't wait to see you.
ex! husband neuvillette who cannot say anything when you open the door for him, all these miles with the memories of your passionate time together pouring back into his mind. it's silly, but so real, and there was a silence, although not of an uncomfortable kind, it was overthrowing the hefty atmosphere.
and honestly, you think ex! husband neuvillette was cute when he was all overwhelmed and bereft of speech, even cuter when he’s silently walking past the door, your hands slowly wrapping around the bouquet of flowers to place them aside, on top of a wooden drawer before panning your eyes back into his grasp— which was his piercing, conquering gaze.
you could perceive the cutting tautness, how the reinforced pressure alone couldn't be torn, not with a sharp knife, no sword, no blade, because forthrightly— there wasn't anything on this planet that was able to part this emerging and crashing body chemistry.
all fairness to the situation— your captivation was off the charts, two people unable to coexist while parted, searching within your souls to understand what was happening. yet then it hit you, that maybe— heavily placed on a single maybe, that there might've been a cruel mistake in how things ended between you both;
or did they end?
because like a bullet piercing through soft flesh, it gave the impression away as if you were both moving closer to your sweet frames until you could clearly feel his warm, clothed chest pushed against your own— hopeful eyes remained locked within your gazes as you carefully slide your hands behind his neck without breaking his stares.
ex! husband neuvillette whose breathing was all fast and hasty, yet much swifter was his never ending intention to kiss you again and taste your lips in the process, he cannot stop himself anymore, but he must— for some reason, he cannot fathom that this might be reality and that you both would have a second chance in this life after all.
"kiss me." you suddenly whisper, eyes aglow with his own enlarging at the nervous utterance, subtle touches weaving together and showing your open truths.
ex! husband neuvillette feels how tense he has gotten and tries to relax— on top of that, he was reminiscing about the past and the bare memories of your writhing body splayed under his large one, his entire weight on top of you, just the whisper of his sinful imagination made his mouth water— he truly believes he was in fact dreaming right now, especially when you tell him to kiss him again.
there were no thoughts to process anymore, no focus he could grasp on to remain clearness— what was left were true, unfaltering desires and the scalding pain of waiting. that‘s when you kiss him instead, his body immediately welcoming your fervid warmth, pulling his head towards your own in a heart beat.
ex! husband neuvillette felt a heavy hardship being lifted off his shoulders the moment your lips touch his, and each one of the words he had planned to spell out to you, they form into a sting that was beating into his heart, repeatedly, the sharp stitches seeping into his veins slowly. and he refuses to cry in front of you, or expose to you that everything that had happened after your separation was covered in nothing but a silent numbness.
swallowing the lump in his throat, ex! husband neuvillette guides you to the bedroom, it was hard to decipher what was real or not, each motion of your lips rounding across his own felt like he was dreaming the most beautiful dream of them all. the whisper of cold air brushes across your bodies when he opens the door to the cold room, his own imagination going wild when he peeks at the neatly made bed, or the wooden drawer next to it, still having your wedding picture on display.
ex! husband neuvillette who takes his time in undressing you, the fear of someone taking you away from him again, even now, was still there and he wanted, no, needed to relish in this as good as possible. neuvillette wets his lips, nervous, "my love.. are you sure about this?" and he hesitated for a second— but when you tug at his own sleeves now, fondling with the expensive garment, nodding your head and expertly wrapping your digits into the thin fabric to help him out of it, he knows you wanted it as badly as he did, popping his arms back so you could pull his coat down, your mouth twisting into a subtle smile.
ex! husband neuvillette who touches you featherlight, slowly parting your legs to settle in between, and butterflies expand in your belly when you admire his beauty from up close again, his muscles twitching when you decide to lightly graze his skin with your fingertips, smoothly sliding over his chest before wrapping your arms around his neck. 
ex! husband neuvillette who could honestly cry the moment he first slides his cock into you again, kissing you again and again, more deeply, more feral and in need before licking into your mouth, leaving his large hand to wander down to the plush of your ass and push you into the mattress when he first bottoms out of you. you're so warm, wet and comfortable while you're clamping down on him. and neuvillette pistols his hips like an electric light, hoping he'd be able to hit so deep inside your warm cunt till you practically feel him stir up your guts.
and a moan slowly builds up in your throat as your tits brush against his strong chest— whilst neuvillette places a delicious, fast pace on you, the bare strength of his thrusts making the headboard bounce back and forth the wall as he nibbles on your bottom lip while fucking his cock into you, your gummy walls squelching at each well received pump.
ex! husband neuvillette who roughly palms your tits and plays with your nipples with his hips moving in a feral tempo— whilst those breathy, wet pleas of your name, the ones he whispered against your ear, evolve into gluttonous, hungry groans, whilst the thought about losing all of this made it more difficult for him to say anything at all, his throat acting as a trap for that one sentence he intended to spell out, the sound of it awaiting to break free— but the nervousness couldn't be surpassed as he takes a hold of your hand, desperately clutching on it before grinding his erection back into you, a pulse surging through the entirety of your walls.
ex! husband neuvillette who finds it mesmerizing on how you were so responsive to his every nibble and touch, his thudding cock diving between your legs while he fists your tits in his warm hand, your lips parting with cries and begs while meeting his hungry pace.
his hips, much bigger than yours, keep hitting into you, a lustful gaze on your facial expression clouding your mind as he makes you feel so unbelievably good, soaking your sheets as you kiss him, famished and hot, feeling his needy grunts exhaling through his lips as you clench down hard, gazes meeting once and for all, "i love you." you say, almost cry it out, and neuvillette wanted to be patient with you, claim your body to its full exhaustion afterwards, but not now, he cannot keep his cool this time— not anymore, not after you said those very three words he wasn't able to utter out all night.
you're truly driving him insane, and his body was pressing hotly against yours as you wiggle and writhe under him, puppy eyes watching him please you from under your lashes while you’re requiring more of his cock in you, please please, you say, your pussy clamping around his girth and milking him for good.
ex! husband neuvillette who tells you, "i love you too, i love you too.." in quick, fast paced syllables, and the burning veins in his body turn numb when you begin to cry out of joy and pleasure, hastily pushing your heels into his back to signal him to fuck you harder as he pounds away into your creamy pussy, dragging his hard erection along your sore walls and burning pleasure spots.
now— your nails simmer over his defined back, both sweetly indulging in each others company and the feeling of being one again, nothing else but solid, fast paced pleasure which was turning him on, so fucking much, his breathing puffed and winded, throwing his head back as you're doing your best to match his insane rhythm.
your pussy swallows him up like magic, your damp lashes tickling his shoulders as he buries his face against your neck to suck on the wet flesh, in accessory to the numerous amount of praises, declarations of love and filthy curses plastering your sweaty skin. or how about the swallowing screams and begs of your name that ripple through him as you moan out fervently, twitching under his towering body and arching your back.
oh, well? it's now or never your “ex” husband fears, and he decides to push his pulsing cock deep into your hole, deeper, just a little bit more, please! until you're desperately screaming into his shoulder, as far as it can fit into your little pussy, sending you over an intoxicating edge.
and ex! husband neuvillette was, at long last, back at where he should be, where he should've been all along, with you, making passionate and meaningful love to each other, because the man needed it, needed you close to him, and he cannot and will never again, paint the world without you in it.
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©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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Lucifer Morningstar x Reader Smutty Headcanons
I promised on this LM x Reader post things would get spicy soon, so here we are, coming so far from my first post! Just the first of probably many more smutty Lucifer posts, because we all know this man fucks and we all want a piece.
Warnings: SMUT
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- This man legitimately loves everything about eating pussy. He loves performing it, he loves bragging about how well he performs it, he loves giving tips because he believes in respecting the craft, and he loves putting down anyone too entitled to provide what he sees as this most enjoyable of services for one's partner. You don't even have to ask him to go down on you, it'll be one of the first things he offers, and he'll regularly ask if you're interested in letting off a little steam. Having the ability to extend and shapeshift his tongue into having an opposable forked tip makes him capable of techniques beyond your wildest fantasies, and whether you like to receive from above or below, he's equally down to have you seated on his face or laying back to enjoy yourself.
- He's not poorly or overly endowed for a man of his size, but he's also quite literally the one who originally proved that size doesn't matter in the slightest, and he's had thousands of years to perfect those original techniques. From position to tempo, he's mastered everything he needs to hit the G-spot with impeccable accuracy, and his hands will be quite busy seeking out where you most enjoy attention as he rides you with the power and virility of an untamed stallion. All this combined results in a mind blowing time for you, every time, and he's got the stamina to answer all of your repeated requests for another round.
- Nevermind the magic he can work with his tongue or his dick, the King of Hell is also a wizard with his fingers. He's even got a carpal tunnel roller just to keep his dexterity in top shape for when his skills are needed. Finding your clit is effortless for him, and he'll show it all the love he thinks you deserve, responding eagerly to your feedback in the moment and putting his mouth to use on your neck as he does so. Whether you want him inside, outside or both at the same time, he's happy to provide, and he'll gladly push his wrists to the limit if it leaves you properly satisfied.
- If you offer to be the one servicing him, he'll happily accept, and you'll quickly find his mannerisms shift quite considerably when he's on the receiving end. He starts out confident, offering banter to match your own, but as soon as your mouth gets to work, his demeanor changes. A grin becomes an open mouthed moan, his hands tenderly take hold of you to ground himself, and witty quips turn to soft and needy sighs. The more heated things get, the more he loses himself, but it's a great way for you to gauge how well you're performing. Growls and an appearance of his horns are a sign he's really having a good time, especially considering he's always got steam to blow off. Particularly rough days will result in him losing all control by climax; fully extended wings and horns, an unfurled tail he wraps about you, hair disheveled and clinging to a fine layer of sweat, and more than a few reality bending bursts of power surging around the both of you. It's his favorite way to end the day on a good note. He'll pull his fingers from your hair as he breathlessly apologizes for the show, but the both of you know watching him go feral is part of the fun.
- The afterglow is peak cuddle time for him, and he'll be in no hurry to get dressed if there's somewhere either of you needs to be, so more than a few of his duties will end up delayed thanks to post-coital bliss. All six wings will seek you out for a fluffy embrace, and if the two of you are at all winded, the otherworldly softness of Archangel feathers might make staying awake quite impossible. Should you have some energy to spare though, he'll want to actively enjoy the snuggle. Hearing you breathe, feeling his skin against yours, and engaging in pillow talk just make him the happiest little guy. Such moments really allow him to let his guard down, and you might hear him speak with a softness and hopefulness that rarely leaves the bedroom, but he's just as interested in listening as he is in talking. Don't be too surprised if he drifts off with his head in your boobs though.
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