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wonderlustlucas · 4 years

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jack pot ; part 3 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 6.4k ⇢ genre fluff & angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way) ⇢ warnings (18+) drug use, a suggestive make out & the mention of a boner twice maybe ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n AAAAAAAA omg im so excited to post this, this by far is my fav part of jack pot & i cant wait to hear what u all think!!! sorry its a bit shorter than the other parts, & technically this is the *last* part, but there will be an epilogue where you will see how everything comes to be!!!! have fun reading!!! <3

⇠ part 2

five.

“Oh, fuck, he’s good,” Yeji gasps, shoving her phone into Maddie’s hands before faceplanting into the table.

“Are you H-T-T-P because I’m colon-slash-slash without you,” Maddie reads with a chuckle, thumbs hesitating over the keyboard. “Quick, YN, look up some pick-up lines.”

Closing the tab on the article you should be reading but has been long forgotten, you promptly do as you are told and open the first link from your search, Minho and Jisung leaning in to help. “There,” Jisung stops you, pointing to one, “’Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.’”

The table can’t help but burst into laughter at such a sentence. It’s stupid, but ever since Yeji and Kim Sunwoo began texting, their conversations have been full of tacky puns and emoji-filled compliments.

“Damn,” Maddie whistles, setting the phone back into Yeji’s limp hand, “he’s already typing back.”

“Gross,” Ryujin teases, busy typing away on her laptop. How she manages to multitask so well is a skill you certainly lack. “Why don’t you just like, I don’t know, ask him out?” Jisung asks and when you glance up, he’s looking at you. “Because that’s the guy’s job,” Maddie quickly saves the day, winking to you when you send her a grateful smile.

“Bullshit,” Jeongin scoffs. Everyone, even Ryujin, stops to look at him.

Did he just curse?

“I mean, like,” he stammers, cheeks turning rosy at all the attention, “it’s 2020. Guys have insecurities, too.”

“I agree,” Minho hums, looking to Maddie with hearts in his eyes, “that kind of confidence is enough to make any boy fall in love.”

“Yeah, but—”

Lia rebuts, but your attention quickly falls elsewhere when a text message first appears on your laptop, then your phone.

hwang hyunjin🦔🕺🏻💞🧻 [now] Where r u rn?

Unable to fight your smile, you quickly type back.

[3:39 PM] YN: outside hollin st café [3:39 PM] YN: why? :)

“Have you seen their new house, YN?” Minho asks, prompting you to click your phone off and set it back on the table. “Whose house?”

“Changbin’s parents.”

“Oh,” shaking your head, you distantly curse Chan for keeping your friend busy today. Unlike Jisung, Changbin likes to write lyrics and do whatever other music stuff during the day at a normal time instead of the middle of the fucking night while stoned and trying to finish his computer science assignments at the same time. “No, he forgot to send me pictures.”

“Dude,” Jisung sighs dreamily, “it’s huge. So nice. I think the front door alone could cover tuition.”

“Is it really that nice?” Maddie asks in awe.

“He started to show me pics the other day but couldn’t finish but the kitchen… unnecessary,” Ryujin quips, pausing her work to check her phone. “Yeah, it’s insane. The whole place is unnecessary but the kitchen is like, a house in itself,” Jeongin hums, head shaking in disbelief.

“Damn, now I really want to see it,” you sigh, making a mental note to hunt Changbin down so he can show you. “It’s like Hyunjin and his rings,” Minho snickers, “he has so many. Whenever we’re out, if he sees a ring, boom. It’s his.”

Well, he’s not wrong but… You bite your tongue no matter how badly you wish to defend Hyunjin and his affinity for rings and jewelry in general. The boy has taste, what can you say? You certainly are not complaining about Hyunjin’s long fingers and the way he chooses to decorate them.

“I never thought I’d hear Changbin’s parent’s kitchen be analogous to Hyunjin’s jewelry collection, yet here we are,” Maddie chuckles, leaning over Yeji to peek at her conversation with Sunwoo.

“Wow, speak of the devil,” Jisung pipes up of course as soon as you have reopened the tab to your assignment. Changbin or Hyunjin, you don’t know, head whipping up to find out and a peculiar mix of relief and panic settling over you once you spot the latter. “Uh oh, YN’s gonna go into cardiac arrest.”

As subtly as you can, you elbow Jisung in the stomach and smile at Hyunjin as he nears. “Hey,” keeping his eyes on you, Hyunjin approaches your table and stops behind Maddie opposite from you, “I’m sorry, I should have asked if you were busy.” His cheeks, already flushed, burn pinker once he looks away to smile weakly at everyone else.

“I’m not busy!” You squeak, scrambling to close your laptop and shove it in your bag. “Are you sure? I can come back later?” He offers, tilting his head and this is when you realize he is holding a bubble tea in each hand. And from the looks of it, one seems to be your usual order. “No, she’s not,” Jeongin answers for you, recognizing your stupefied expression.

“I was just – yeah. No,” rushing to stand and swing your legs out around the bench, you nearly fall flat on your face, “I wasn’t doing anything, actually.” Steadying yourself with a hand on Minho’s shoulder, you heave a labored breath before carefully walking to meet Hyunjin.

“Okay,” he beams, either oblivious to how flustered you are or simply choosing to ignore it. Turning to wave to your friends, he hands you one of the cups and you realize it is, in fact, your favorite boba. Oh boy. “See ya later,” you wave to them as well, nose wrinkling when both Jisung and Maddie wink in return.

Following after Hyunjin, you finally allow yourself to take notice of his attire and can’t help but feel confused. He looks good. And not in the good attractive way—he always looks good. But good as in formal. It’s four o’clock on a Tuesday in October and he’s out here looking as if he just got out of a business meeting. White button-down tucked into fitted black slacks, dress shoes, black tie, and he even has a black suit jacket draped over his arm. His hair is styled, too; ever since he dyed it back to black, he’s been growing it out long enough for his bangs to cover his eyes. Now, however, it’s parted down the middle and seems as if he’s ever so slightly curled it away from his face.

Suddenly, you feel ridiculous walking beside him in mom jeans and a baggy sweatshirt from high school.

“Thanks for the boba,” you mumble around your straw, brain still preoccupied trying to get over how utterly handsome he is. “Why do you look so fancy?”

The side of his mouth twitches up at your words, but his eyes stay glued to the sidewalk as you continue to your unknown destination. “I had an audition,” Hyunjin admits, voice devoid of emotion as if it’s not important at all. “An audition?” You echo. “Why do you sound so not super mega excited? How did it go? What was it for?”

“Well—”

“Wait!” You interrupt, stopping your walk once you realize he had an audition and you didn’t know. “You had an audition? What – why didn’t you tell me?”

Hyunjin frowns, avoiding your gaze and dragging his bottom teeth over his top lip. “I didn’t tell anyone,” he finally says before reaching for your hand and tugging you away from the walkway and into your campus’ main courtyard. “Why? Is it some sort of secret or something, Hyunjin?” You scoff, sounding way more annoyed than you intended. But you are annoyed; why didn’t he want to tell anyone?

“No,” he sighs, finding an empty area in the grass and lowering himself to sit, “I just… didn’t want anyone to know. Didn’t want to make it a big deal.”

“Hyunjin,” you sigh, visibly softening for him and settling down next to him, crisscrossing your legs, “it is a big deal. I don’t know what it’s for, but if it’s important enough for you to audition, then it’s important to us, too. You don’t need to be humble twenty-four-seven, you know. I’m sure you could have used our support.”

“I didn’t get it, though,” Hyunjin whispers, “they just – I didn’t get in. I wasn’t good enough.” Sensing the sadness in his voice, you find a lump forming in your throat when you notice the way his bottom lip trembles. “Hey,” panicking, you set your boba down and sit up on your knees to wrap your arms around him, cradling his head into your chest once tears start falling, “no. Don’t ever say you’re not good enough, Hyunjin.”

“But if I did better, practiced more, than I would—"

“Stop,” you hush, combing your fingers through his hair and brushing strands away from his eyes, “I’ve never met someone who works as hard as you do. You can’t beat yourself up over this. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t know what could have happened if you got in. You could have hurt yourself eventually, or maybe met someone who’s a real asshole.”

“Yeah,” is all he says, quiet and muffled when he turns to press his forehead into your sternum, body still trembling as he lets out all his tears. You stay like that for a while, holding him against you and soothing a hand up and down his back until his sniffling falls quiet. “Listen,” you finally sigh, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him back. Your heart sinks once you take in the wet trails down his cheeks and the puffiness of his eyes. “Forget about it. Was it something for dance?”

When he nods subtly, you cup his face in your hands and swipe his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are an amazing dancer, Hyunjin. You can’t let this get to your head. And I don’t want you working your ass off more than you do already. Practice makes perfect, sure, but you need to rest. What about the idea Changbin came up with?”

“The YouTube thing?”

“Yes! Filming dance tutorials or just posting your routines is a really good idea,” you remind him, wiping your hands on your jeans once he falls back onto the grass with a gentle thud, hair flaying around him like a halo. Your limbs twitch with the urge to lie beside him, maybe throw an arm around him and rest your cheek on his chest, fingers tracing the soft features of his face, stroking through his hair and reminding him just how innately perfect he is, inside and out. You, of course, resist such a temptation, flopping down beside him and staring up at the clouds with a heavy heart.

“I could do that. Maybe,” Hyunjin huffs. Tilting your head to look at him, you find yourself knee-deep in that familiar longing feeling, pausing simply to appreciate how pretty he is in the evening sun, cheeks rosy from crying and hair begging to be touched. Shaking your head to rid such daydreams, you remind yourself how fragile his emotions are right now. Now is no time to get caught up on a fantasy. Reaching for your tea, you lean up on an elbow and redirect your gaze to the trees, the promise of winter having turned what was green burnt sienna and butterscotch, leaving trees barren and branches swaying gently in the crisp breeze that leaves you curling into yourself. “You should,” you hum, distant, mind clawing to come up with the words you want to say.

“Come here,” Hyunjin says now, voice stronger than before and when his hand wraps gently around your wrist, you can’t find it in yourself to resist. Allowing him to pull you back down beside him, you curl into his side, resting your head a safe distance away from his own and onto the curve of his arm. “Thank you for being so good to me,” he expresses. You squeeze your eyes shut when the arm you lie on wraps around your shoulders and pulls you substantially closer. “I need to tell you something.”

A long stretch of silence falls upon you and for a moment, you are unsure the words even left your mouth. What are you thinking?

“Wait! I have something first,” Hyunjin sighs, missing the way your breath hitches. “Okay,” you whisper, fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt and focusing all your attention there.

“I just – I think… I owe you an apology,” he finally says, “I need to apologize for something that I did a while ago that I know probably hurt.” Your chest tightens. There’s a lot that has hurt you when it comes to Hyunjin, but none that he’s done purposely. None that are his fault. None that he should be apologizing for.

“I feel like we came to some mutual understanding to not mention what happened when we were freshmen, but it kills me to know that – that something happened, and we never talked about it,” Hyunjin starts, grip tightening on your shoulder and suddenly, you think you are dreaming. This cannot possibly be real. “I know it was awkward but, I also know me and Yiren dating was… ah. I don’t know.”

When he falls silent, you are unsure of what to say or do. You have no idea what the end goal of this conversation is. Hardly a minute ago, your heart and your brain decided it was time to tell him. Now, you’re not so sure you can do that until he finishes, and you are not about to give him your two cents if his reasoning for bringing it up is not the same as yours.

“I just want to apologize for not being brave enough to talk to you about it. I know I was confused, but I’m sure it was worse for you when they told you about her,” Hyunjin continues, sensing your rendered silence, “and it’s been so long since that happened, and now, you’re one of my closest friends.” Ouch.

“But I’ve been thinking,” when he picks up again, your eyes fly open in a panic. He’s been thinking. Hyunjinhas been thinking. You think you are going to pass out. “And I just feel like we… me and you, I mean—"

The standard iPhone alarm blares from beside you, promptly cutting him off and you think it is the biggest cockblock known to man. “Shit,” he hisses, leaning up to tug his phone from his pocket and in the process nudging you from your comfortable position. Sitting back up, nerves aflame and heart racing, your brows shoot up in confusion when all he does is stare at the number calling him. “What are you doing?”

“It’s the studio I was just at,” he scoffs in disbelief, barely glancing at you before looking back to his phone. You have never wanted to shrivel up and die as much as you want to right now. “Well? Aren’t you going to answer?”

Hyunjin makes a noise of acknowledgement before tapping the green icon and bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

Sitting quietly beside him, you watch with a forced smile as his hummed responses and subtle nods morph into enthusiastic laughs and wide, beaming smiles. Hyunjin notices your confusion when you tilt your head, mouthing a ‘What?’ to him.

“They made a mistake,” he whispers, covering the speaker of his phone, “read off the wrong Hwang. I’m in.” When he grins excitedly at you, your response isn’t as cheerful as it could be. As it should be. “Yay!” You whisper, clapping gently but quickly turning to your boba when the other line begins speaking again. Looking away, you take a hefty sip, nearly choke on a tapioca ball, and build the walls around your heart up all over again in a matter of seconds.

“I’ve gotta go,” whispering, you manage one more pained smile before getting to your feet and wiping your butt of any possible grass stains, “good luck!” When he shines you one more breathtaking smile and waves excitedly, you hastily head in the other direction, wrapping your arms around yourself and swallowing past the lump that threatens to form the farther you walk.

It must be nice, you think, frantically wiping at your waterline. Must be nice to put yourself out there and have things work out the way you want them to. Must be nice being told you’re ‘in,’ you’re wanted, you’re desired.

It must be nice.

six.

Pick up food, you said. Ask Jisung, you said.

Your conscience is a big fat oompa loompa ass bitch. You would have never called Jisung to ask him if he wanted anything from Taco Bell if you knew he was with Changbin. And not just Changbin, you realized four minutes into your call; Seungmin and Hyunjin, too. Apparently he went over their place to record, or something, and didn’t care to let you know. Not that you’re his mom and he has too—but it would have been nice, and would have saved you from spending almost fifty dollars at Taco Bell.

“I tried calling Jisung but he didn’t answer,” you snap once Seungmin answers your call with a muffled hello. “Can one of you please come out and help me carry this in?” You glance at the five large sodas and two bags full of food in your passenger seat with a grimace. “Sure,” he agrees and you make a mental note for the umpteenth time just how much you love Seungmin, “I’ll be out in a sec.”

True to his word, you spot him making his way out of their apartment and across the small courtyard to meet you by your car not even a minute later, hauling each bag under his arms. “Thank you,” left only with the cupholder, you hurriedly lock your car and follow after him. “No problem. Thanks for being our Uber Eats,” then, pursing his lips, “how much was this?”

“Forty-seven something,” you grumble unhappily, knowing this was a big hit to your debit. “We’ll pay you back, don’t worry,” Seungmin smiles, leading you up the final flight of stairs and kicking open the ajar door.

Immediately, you’re hit with the smell.

“Dear, fucking hell,” making a face, you rub your nose to keep from sneezing, “it reeks in here. How have you guys not been kicked out yet?”

The stench of weed generally does not bother you anymore, but still—they could light a candle, or something. Seungmin shrugs, setting the bags down on the kitchen counter. “Luck, I guess.”

“IS THAT YN?” From another room, you hear Changbin shout, followed by an excited shriek from Jisung. “They’re high. Very high. You’ve been warned,” Seungmin whispers just as tweedle dee and tweedle dum themselves come flying around the corner. “YN!” Jisung grins, engulfing you in a dramatic hug. “Watch,” you hiss, regarding the blunt held between his fingers that comes dangerously close to your hair.

“Sorry,” he smiles, then, without warning, sticks the thing right between your lips. “I didn’t even offer.” Well, when life gives you lemons…

You hesitantly take the hit and blow the smoke away from him. You weren’t planning on getting high today, but here you are. “Thanks,” shaking your head as if that will clear it, you turn to Changbin and snugly wrap your arms around him. Every day you thank the heavens that he is a chill, calm high, unlike your maniac of a roommate.

“Thanks for the food,” fishing into his pockets and pulling out a crumpled ten-dollar bill, he slaps it into your palm. You only hum in reply, shoving it into your own pocket and praying you don’t lose it before you remember to put it in your wallet. “Where’s Hyunjin?” You ask, no longer caring about being slick.

“In his room,” Seungmin answers, rummaging through the bags to find what he ordered. Then, “HYUNJIN!” You jump, reaching for your soda and standing away from the other three until they have claimed whatever belongs to them. No sooner than Seungmin calls for him, you hear a door being cracked open and out comes Hyunjin.

He looks extremely disheveled. Like, just woke up from a two-month hibernation, disheveled. In the blink of an eye, however, he rakes a hand through long blonde hair and promptly sets a baseball cap backwards to keep the strands away and suddenly, he doesn’t look so disheveled anymore. You force yourself to look away, cursing the way your gut twists.

“Gimme my crunchwrap,” you say around your straw, snatching the blunt from Jisung’s fingers and moving around him to fetch your dinner. He doesn’t even protest.

He knows you need it more than he does.

“That’s a lot of food,” Hyunjin says once he has finally entered the kitchen, voice groggy and eyes puffy from sleep. Or from being high, you can’t tell. Pressing his chest to your back, he wraps one arm around you to keep you against him while the other reaches into a bag to take what’s his. Swallowing past the desert dryness of your throat, you manage a thick inhale from the blunt before tilting your head to look at him and mentally thanking the other three for taking it as their cue to head out.

“Not my fault you guys eat like animals,” you chuckle shakily, trying to ignore the firmness of his body against yours, veins prominent on the arm that holds you against him and the ripple of muscle along his abdomen noticeable even through his shirt and yours. Dear god, it is too early for this. Not even seven o’clock and you are already drooling in more places than one.

Hyunjin pouts as if it is not true. “How much do I owe you?” He asks, finally moving away to grab his drink and you can’t help your disappointment, quickly finishing the blunt before tapping it out into one of the many ashtrays. “Don’t worry about it,” you wave off, digging through their drawers for a paper plate.

“YN,” Hyunjin deadpans, regarding you with a raised brow once you come up and begin unwrapping your food. You refuse to look him in the eye. “What do I owe you?” He repeats, firmer this time and it sends a chill down your spine when it most certainly should not. Sighing, you retrieve the receipt from your pocket and count everything he got. “Thirteen.”

Humming in content, Hyunjin reaches for his wallet on the counter and pulls a ten and five out. “There,” he beams, tucking the bills into your pocket himself. Rolling your eyes, you pray he does not notice how you flush and hurry out of the kitchen to join Seungmin on the sofa.

“House Hunters?” You ask with a laugh, looking at the TV once you have settled next to him. “I told you HGTV is the best.”

Seungmin hums in agreement. “I thought it was stupid at first, but Hyunjin was watching Fixer Upper and I got addicted,” he says, nodding to the older boy doing a little dance in the kitchen as he eats one of his tacos. Your heart does somersaults at the sight. “They’re all so good,” you agree after taking a few bites of your own food, eyes trained on the television, “House Hunters is a classic, though.”

“I like the international one,” Hyunjin adds on his way over, crashing unceremoniously next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Seungmin wrinkle his nose when Hyunjin sets his free hand casually on your thigh. “Shh,” he grumbles, vaguely gesturing to the screen and chewing a mouthful of food, “I wanna hear what the house has.”

One episode turns to two, which turns to three, which turns to four, and suddenly you have been watching House Hunters with Seungmin and Hyunjin for almost three hours. It definitely is the weed, always making time perpetually slower, and it did not help when Jisung and Changbin reappeared sometime during your binge with one of Felix’s bongs. Not necessarily how you intended to spend your precious Friday night, but there is no sense in complaining when you are with your buddies and Hyunjin, of course.

Taco Bell long gone, you watch with blurry eyes when Hyunjin gets up from his slumped position against you to head into the kitchen and open the freezer. This, as well as the realization that House Hunters has ended and gone to some other, not-as-cool show, brings both you and Seungmin somewhat back to reality.

“It’s almost ten,” Seungmin announces, staring dazedly at the time on his phone. You hum in acknowledgment, certainly sober enough to reply but simply too lazy to. “I think I’m going to bed. Or play something. Don’t wreck the place,” he sighs, dragging a hand down his face before standing up. “G’night, Minnie,” you smile, watching with a furrowed brow as he continues down the hall and into his room. It isn’t until you hear his door click shut does the weight of being alone with Hyunjin settle on your chest.

It’s not like you haven’t spent time alone with Hyunjin before. In fact, that usually is the way it’s been in the past three years; whether the two of you decided to do your own thing or the rest of your friends eventually left or went to bed, you are used to this feeling. Used to ignoring the butterflies in your gut when he does something particularly cute and used to tampering down the mental images you conjure up knowing it’s just you and him.

But that doesn’t make things any easier. No matter how hard you try, you simply can’t help but feel this way around Hyunjin, especially when you’re alone. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

“Whatcha wanna watch?” Hyunjin asks around one last spoonful of ice cream before setting the pint back into the freezer. “Uhh…” You drone, blinking heavily at the TV and back to him as he makes his way back over. “I dunno, I’m sure you’ve been watching some drama. You can put that on.”

“You sure?” He asks with a raised brow, collapsing next to you and slumping dramatically halfway down the cushions. “Yes,” laughing, you find yourself reaching out to tuck messy strands of hair back behind his ear without hesitation, “also, why are you wearing a hat inside?”

Hyunjin pauses, straining to look up as if he will be able to see the back of his cap against his forehead. “I’m wearing a hat?”

“Yes, you idiot,” in comes the endless weed giggles and you find yourself unable to stop laughing, watching with teary eyes as he sits up and takes his hat off. “I don’t remember putting this on,” he chuckles airily, flipping the cap back and forth in his hands before tossing it onto the coffee table. “Should I cut it?”

“No!” You shout a little too quickly and a little too loudly. Shrinking against the arm of the couch, you ignore his amused smile and look to his long hair, freshly bleached strands falling down to his neck and shorter pieces brushing against his cheeks. Fuck, it should be illegal to look this good. “I like it long. It really suits you.”

“It’s annoying,” Hyunjin grins despite his complaint, lifting his legs onto the couch and flopping onto his side, head now resting on your lap. “I don’t know what to do with it.”

Now that he’s offered playing with his hair on a silver platter, you don’t hesitate combing your fingers through it, tugging out pieces stuck under his head and brushing it out completely. “You could pull the sides back,” you hum distantly, separating a section of hair near his temple to pull back, “or make a bun with what you can. You just have to play around with it.”

Humming in agreement, Hyunjin resituates himself after reaching for the remote and switching to Netflix. When you go back to simply raking your fingers from root to tip in irregular directions, you don’t miss the way his eyelids flutter at the motion and make sure to pay extra attention to his scalp. When this turned into a head massage, you’re not entirely sure.

The drama Hyunjin puts on is unbearable. You stopped paying attention a while ago, focusing more on him and how he seems to enjoy it, fingers busy braiding random sections of hair, taking them out, and then braiding them again. With two finally done the way you want them to, you are midway through the third when your fingers begin to cramp up.

“Why’d you stop?” Hyunjin asks seconds after you drop the braid and stretch your fingers out. “Fingers are cramping,” chuckling at the disappointed pout of his lips, you crack what knuckles you can before going back and undoing the unfinished braid. “Oh,” he mutters, cheek still pressed against your leg, “feels good.”

Humming in response, you ignore the way his words make your heart swell and begin gathering all his hair into a ponytail, pressing the braids to lay flat and finally tying it with a hair tie once you have combed up all that you can. Immediately, his bangs and hairs closer to the nape of his neck fall out, leaving the ponytail spikey and messy. At least the braids look good. You can’t help but giggle.

“What?” Hyunjin asks, pausing his show and leaning up. “What’d you do?”

“Go see for yourself,” pointing to the bathroom, you comb out a looped piece of hair before he stands to do just that. His ponytail bobs the entire walk there.

When he reaches the door and flips the light on, you watch from your position as he checks himself out, brushing away his bangs and flicking the pony. You frown when he accidentally yanks at a braid.

“Come here,” you say, sitting up, “you messed up the braid.”

“Honestly,” Hyunjin considers his reflection one last time before skipping his way over, “it doesn’t look half bad.” Expecting him to sit back next to you, your pulse quickens when he anchors a hand to the armrest and leans in front you, only inches away from your face. “No, definitely,” you say once you have gotten over the shock of him being so close so suddenly, “I like it in the ponytail. You’d really impress the girls if you braided your hair yourself.” Reaching up to tuck hair back into the braid and press it down flat once more, you don’t miss the way his brows draw together and lips twitch down. “What?”

Time ceases to exist as Hyunjin begins to come closer. In reality, you know it simply is a matter of seconds, but all of space and time seems to still once he leans forward. It feels as if an eternity goes by, allowing you to count each individual eyelash, memorize the details of his skin, take note of the smoothed lines on his plump lips. The way time slows is cruel; it allows panic to set in, the realization that he most certainly is looming over you with his eyes on your lips sending a spark of excitement and anxiety through your veins.

And then, just as this realization and this panic has set your nerves aflame, a gentle hand comes to cradle your jaw before Hyunjin’s lips press against yours.

It is so easy to surrender to the taste and touch of him. Instantly, an eruption of emotions and thoughts spiraling out of control fills you, yet your brain focuses only on Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin. This is not the first time you have kissed him, nor the first time simply having him so close, but the feeling that radiates from your heart outward is unlike anything you have felt before. This is uncalled for. This is not like two years ago. You were not expecting this.

Hyunjin sighs into the kiss when you lean up to loop your arms around his neck. No sooner have you done this, he breaks away to sit beside you once more, hands reaching for your waist and guiding you to sit over his lap.

You could kiss him all day, you think, palms lying flat by his collarbones before fisting the material of his shirt when his tongue prods at the seam of your lips. Blood seemingly coming to a boil and nerves sparking dangerously, you find yourself quickly sobering up as the minutes tick by, completely and utterly addicted to him and this feeling, this feeling you have craved but never crossed the line for. And now, it’s yours to keep.

Forgetting the braids, you seize the opportunity to rake your fingers through his hair. Different, than how you did earlier. Desperate. Combing it away from his face once, twice, swallowing his groans when you tug at the roots, you realize with a whine that his hands have left your face in favor of dragging down your sides, circling back to squeeze at your breasts, rubbing at your thighs and finally sliding back to your ass, situating you more comfortably on his thighs.

When Hyunjin finally breaks the kiss to journey elsewhere, littering chaste kisses across your jaw, below your ear, down your neck, the weight of your actions finally hits you. It is overwhelming, the way you come spiraling back to reality, and you are not sure if the quiet moan that leaves you is due to the press of something else against your thigh or simply the realization that you are making out with Hyunjin.

You have to stop before you get hurt again.

“Hyunjin,” you gasp, shuddering when his soft lips brush against your jaw, “wait. We need to talk.”

He pauses at this, fingers digging into your sides and you feel his frown against your neck. “What’s there to talk about?” He murmurs, arms sliding around you and tugging you closer, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck and hug him close and pretend like his boner isn’t digging into you.

It’s your turn to frown. “About us,” whispering, you lift one hand to stroke through his hair, “we need to talk about us.”

“I thought my feelings were very clear,” Hyunjin scoffs, all tenderness in his voice gone. Instinctively, you lean back, blinking at him in surprise. “Unless this is just another one of your games? Does this not mean anything to you, YN? I don’t think I could stomach you running off to Changbin or fucking Chan again.”

His words pierce your heart before you have even fully processed them, hurt flashing across your features and your body goes numb. “What?” Is all you can manage, scrambling to get away from him, chest heaving and eyes suddenly burning with the brine of tears. “What are you talking about, Hyunjin?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” He shouts. You flinch, not from the way he raises his voice, but from the genuine sadness in his eyes. “The past three years have been a constant battle with you. We’re best friends, for fucks sake, I figured out a long time ago that you have feelings for me. Feelings more than best friends. Yet every fucking time we started moving in the right direction, you turned your back on me.”

You can do nothing but stand there and let the tears fall. All the words and bottled emotions you wish to say are right there on the tip of your tongue, but you simply cannot bring yourself to voice them. Not when he’s right. Not when you have turned your back on him time and time again.

And then, he hisses more to himself than you, “Is this just sloppy seconds? You never once thought about my feelings in all of this?”

The anger brewing within you suddenly bursts from the dam and hisses through your body like deadly poison. “Sloppy seconds?” You snarl, fists clenching. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Your feelings? You just said you know how I feel about you, so why didn’t you ever do anything about it? How was I supposed to know you felt the same?”

“I thought it was pretty fucking obvious,” Hyunjin spits back, gaze narrowing, “didn’t think I had to spell out the fact that I like you, YN. You’re a smart girl.”

“Do not treat me like a child,” clenching your jaw, you have to look away for a moment, pacing one, two, three steps, hands raking through your hair and wiping away the stream of tears from your cheeks. You have never been filled with such rage. Having finally reached its boiling point, it now consumes you whole, sweeping off in waves and destroying all boundaries. “Confessing is not an easy thing, as you apparentlyknow, so don’t make me seem like the only idiot here. But maybe I was wrong about you if you think of me as just sloppy seconds.”

“I never said that!” Hyunjin barks, standing up to grasp your wrist when you turn away to grab your keys. “Don’t put words in my mouth! I would never, never think of you that way. I just don’t understand why you never spoke up after all this time. I’ve been dying, YN, you have no clue how badly I have been—”

“Oh, believe me, I know,” you snap, yanking your arm away from him, “I told you, Hyunjin. Telling someone you love them isn’t as easy as learning to ride a bike. You’re right, I have turned my back on you. But not intentionally. I’ve been scared, I’m a pussy, whatever.” Biting your top lip as if it will stop the tears that continue to fall freely, you avoid looking at him and glance back to find not only Seungmin, but Jisung and Changbin, too, peeking out from their doors with eyes blown wide with shock. Once you have noticed them, however, they panic and scramble to get out of sight.

Sighing shakily, you look back to Hyunjin and cannot ignore the way your heart sinks at the sight of him. Even upset, he is beautiful. You wonder how much you will see him after this.

“You don’t have to tell me you like me back to make me feel better, Hyunjin,” bouncing on your heels, you suddenly feel exhausted, body and soul heavy with the words you not only spoke, but heard, too. “We can figure this out another day, but for now, I need to go home. I’ll see you.”

Turning away once more, you do not make it very close to the front door before he stops you once more. “Wait, YN,” Hyunjin huffs, smiling softly when he reaches for your hand and you do not pull away. Running his tongue over his lip, he seems to hesitate for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Did you mean it when you said you love me?”

⇢ epilogue

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lnarizakis · 4 years

Text

a two-player game (2 lives left!) | k. kenma

masterlist

2 lives left! | a two-player game: kozume kenma x f! reader

STATISTICS

PLAYER ONE: KOZUME KENMA.

SHOCK: — — — — — 5/5

OBLIVIOUSNESS: — — — 3/5

ADVICE-GIVING: — — — — 4/5

FRIENDLINESS: — — — 3/5

IN LOVE: — — — — — 5/5

PLAYER TWO: (L/N) (Y/N).

SHOCK: — 1/5

OBLIVIOUSNESS: — — — — 4/5

ADVICE-GIVING: — — — 3/5

FRIENDLINESS: — — — — — 5/5

IN LOVE: — — — — — 5/5

(U/N): hello? u still there?

(U/N): hellooooo

(U/N): afk much? haha

(U/N): u didnt finish what u were sYing\

Kenma stared at his screen, wondering what he should say. His mind wandered, thinking about the fact that (Y/N) was somewhere out there, in the comforts of her own home, sitting and playing the same game he was playing. He thought about how she was probably sitting cross-legged, or slouched, or her back completely straight as she probably wore headphones over her ears, or earbuds tucked in the confines of her ears, or blasted the game soundtrack through the speakers of her computer. Kenma sighed, as he slouched back in his chair. A blush crept over his face. He was talking to his crush over a video game. It was practically like texting her. Kenma began to type once more.

applepi: yea im still here

applepi: so abt my crush

No, no, no! What was he doing? He couldn’t possibly tell his crush about his crush! Why? Why would he do that?! He immediately typed in a “never mind.” Despite some protests from the other person, the two pretended to forget that ever happened.

—

All throughout the weekend, Kenma sulked and sulked. There was no particular reason, but he just felt so uncomfortable knowing that he told his crush that he had a crush on someone. There was also the factor that (Y/N) didn’t seem quite interested in what he had to say about his predicament, unlike past times where he could talk about anything he wanted and she would gladly contribute all she had to offer to help the poor boy out.

And so the terrible weekend had ended. It was a nice break for Kenma, being away from everything and everyone; he immersed himself in the virtual world as he let go of all of his worries. But now he had to face reality once more - he had to face (Y/N), the terrible final boss. He had so many more enemies he had to defeat (his teammates, according to Kenma), but the powerful weapon of ignoring them always beat them in the end.

He wanted to stay in his bad mood for the entire school day. It was his plan, and it was a really good plan, but (Y/N) just had to ruin it.

Kenma sat at his desk in his classroom that morning they returned from the weekend. He stared at the nothingness that lay before him on his desk until he heard the sweet sound of (Y/N)’s voice when she came through the door to the classroom. He heard her laugh as she greeted those around her a good morning. He relished in the music as she walked towards her desk.

“Good morning, Kenma-kun!” (Y/N) chirped, as she sat down. Kenma jumped at the sudden words, and he felt warmth everywhere, especially in his cheeks. He smiled at the sound of her greeting, and said one back. God, no one could make him feel the way she makes him feel when he’s around her. He took a deep breath, knowing that his unrequited love consumed his whole heart. Ah, if he were only as smooth as Kuroo was and knew his way with words.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

Kenma frowned; from a mile away, one could tell he was clearly in a bad mood. He hung his head down low, as he was reminded of (Y/N)’s date last weekend.

“Kenma-kun, are you okay? Is there something wrong?” (Y/N) asked, her voice laced with concern. Her eyes studied his face, discontentment written all over it. She wondered what she should do; if only she could consult applepi in this situation. The setter faced (Y/N) and he smiled.

“Ah, it’s nothing, (Y/N)-san, please don’t worry,” he murmured, hoping that she would get the feeling that he would like to be left alone.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

And so for the rest of the time they sat next to each other during class, (Y/N) thought about everything that applepi had advised her to do with every problem that she had:

(U/N): help!!! i cant decide between buying a sword or a dagger from this shopkeeper

applepi: hm get a sword bc u will get more gold out of the enemy

—

(U/N): theres this one friend i have & i feel like she rlly hates me??/?

applepi: are you only focusing on the small details?

applepi: look at the big picture & notice her behavior around u,

applepi: is it different from when shes around other ppl?

—

(U/N): do u think its weird that talking to u feels like an escape from reality?

applepi: no i feel the same.

applepi: i think that talking to someone u barely know is a good way to let loose bc they dont know who u r

—

(U/N): how do you get rid of the feeling of missing someone?

applepi: i talk to them thru text as if they were sitting right next to me

applepi: like how im talking to u right now

...

(Y/N) looked down at her notes to see that she had written nothing compared to all the complicated words written on the blackboard. She had been staring at the blackboard daydreaming about how she had fallen in love with her internet best friend. (Y/N) thought it was silly, really; it was stupid how she had fallen in love over text on a screen. But those words, all of those words that some guy out there named “applepi” had accompanied her throughout her best and her worst times. She could stay up all night to see them up as well, fighting away enemies to clear the level. From in-game items to wise words of advice, (Y/N) owed so much to this person.

And Kenma had no idea that his crush liked him back.

+1 OBLIVIOUSNESS!

—

(Y/N) was a very friendly person; everybody in the volleyball club could see that. It seemed to Kenma, of course, that (Y/N) was the friendliest with Kuroo Tetsuro, the captain. All throughout practice they would constantly make jokes with each other, teasing and pushing each other around. It hurt Kenma; it really did. But (Y/N) did not know that.

In fact, after that dreaded date over the weekend, (Y/N) and Kuroo promised to each other that they would not go out on a second date. They realized that they were better off as friends, for Kuroo could sense in (Y/N)’s eyes and her words that she had the ability to break Kenma out of his shell, even further than Hinata had done. She also told off Kuroo, telling him that she couldn’t date someone who had such weird bed-head hair, much to his disdain. He couldn’t get rid of it! And besides… she already had someone in her heart.

But the point of the matter is: Kenma was taking this completely the wrong way. He watched with jealous eyes as Kuroo and (Y/N) shared playful banter. Her beautiful laugh rang in Kenma’s ears for all the wrong reasons.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

As they practiced serving, Kuroo used this as an opportunity to try out his jump serves. He was consistent, but the one time he hit it into the net, (Y/N), who was watching for stray balls, called out to him, teased him to no end. The other teammates laughed on, especially Haiba Lev, whose serves were just as bad. Kenma mentally cursed at Kuroo, for stealing away (Y/N). He could never possibly curse at him for real; everyone would be in shock at his sudden outburst and ask him what was wrong. (Y/N) would ask him what was wrong. And if that happened… he would freeze up and definitely lose another life.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

When they began practicing receiving, Taketora called out to Yaku to try out Karasuno’s libero’s “Rolling Thunder,” or whatever it was called, to which Kuroo made a sarcastic remark that Yaku could never pull off something as flashy as that. (Y/N) laughed, despite not knowing what the “Rolling Thunder” move was. Once again, Kenma mentally told off Kuroo to stop saying funny things that (Y/N) could laugh at. His jokes were the ones that made (Y/N) laugh; he knows this because she laughed at all the jokes he made over their chat in their video game.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

During their water break, Kuroo and (Y/N) played a little chasing game as she playfully refused to hand him his water bottle. She tossed his bottle to Taketora, who then threw it to Fukunaga, handing it over to Yaku. Kuroo chased the libero around, who passed it on to Inuoka. He gave a hearty laugh as he tossed it to Lev. Silly, clumsy Lev called out to Kenma as the tall boy threw it to Kenma, who with his slow reaction did not catch it in time. The lid of the bottle flew open, and water poured out everywhere. Everyone else watched in shock, but the initial shock passed by them as they all began laughing.

Kenma thought they were all laughing at him.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

The same ordeals continued even after the water break, and after a millennia later, the practice ended. Kenma, along with everyone else, helped clean up after practice. They also cleaned up the little water spill, which (Y/N) thanked Kenma for helping clean up.

Kenma changed his clothes in the club room. He was the only one inside, as Kuroo and (Y/N) were outside waiting for him. He could hear their laughter through the doors. Then they suddenly went silent. Kenma groaned, knowing that they were probably making out or something, as he buttoned his uniform back up.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

He opened the door, and to his surprise, Kuroo and (Y/N) were actually not exploring each others’ mouths with their tongues. Instead, he opened the door to see a smirking Kuroo and a very, very flustered (Y/N). She gasped slightly when she caught sight of Kenma and she turned her flustered face away from his prying eyes. Poor Kenma thought that he had accidentally caught them making out and they pulled away right as he opened the door.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

And so he walked away, leaving them in the dust.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

He thought he heard her call out, “Kenma-kun, wait!”

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

1 LIFE LEFT! FINAL LIFE!

—

hello! thank you for reading! next part is the last part, so please comment if you want me to tag you on the last part! whatchu guys think so far? lemme know! i also take requests too........... B)

taglist (comment/ask to be added!): @i-bitch-you-bitch @cadememe @animefan7420 (wont let me tag u :( !!!!) @issalilmessy

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #kozume kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kozume kenma #kenma kozume #cadekagi

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svmmerdays · 4 years

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( 01 / muse 2 / cis male & he/him ) contrary to what the campers might tell you, that’s not timothee chalamet. that’s kc thain! this is their 6th year working here and they’re a counselor. they’re 23, and i just found out during ice breakers they’re a sagittarius. at first they might seem pretty oblivious, but they’re actually really creative. when they have down time, you can usually catch them getting high on the roof. try to get to know them for yourself this summer!

MEET THE MUN. i expect i’ll be able to solve a lot of my problems once my baby brain falls out & my adult brain grows in

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything in my life skjsdkj i feel like all my intros start that way but it’s simply a fact, i cannot tell time. that said i just got off from work so !!! this time i have a bit of an excuse. but omg Anyways, i am v excited for this rp, like i’ve already said in the gc,,, your girls never been to camp so i am LIVING FOR THIS! a bit about me ~cAmP tHEMED~ kinda, i have never actually gone camping but i really wanna go glamping one time so hit me up if you’re interested, whenever i am in the wilderness bugs like to try to fly directly into my eyes and idk why although i do have a theory i was an exterminator in a past life or something and now they’re getting their revenge for the their fallen ancestors yk?? i hate marshmallows because when i was like six some girl told me that gelatin was made of horse hooves and i believed her and i have not really eaten a marshmallow since with the exception of the one time i microwaved a smore in my microwave when i was like eight? but then again when i was really young i used to think god looked like king triton so i’m a gullible hoe y’all i’ll believe anything. but okay i think that’s enough, moving on to the man of the hour, kronk child thain!

BIO. what do people do when they’re not stoned? drug tw !

kc was an accident. and honestly, he was probably a bit too aware of that way too early. to start, when kc was conceived kc’s father was married to his mother’s best friend. and well, that’s not usually the kind of thing that you do on purpose. furthermore kc was conceived in a bounce house at his half older brother’s first birthday party. again, not the kind of thing you plan. you might ask how and why kc knows this information, and that would be the third reason why kc knows with absolute surety he was an accident. because his mother has been telling him all of this frankly intimate and scarring information with absolutely no shame pretty much from the moment kc could comprehend the words coming out of her mouth, and honestly likely before that. and well, that isn’t exactly the behavior of a woman who planned to have kids is it. at least not in kc’s mind.

frankly moira thain has been treating kc like more than a pet than a son pretty much from the moment kc can remember. she didn’t treat him badly by any means. she just wasn’t really a mom. she was a weird older friend who whined until kc made her breakfast and left for days on end to go to music festivals. she was the kind of friend who teased you ruthlessly rather than offering any good advice and embarrassed you just for fun. the kind of friend who shrugged when you asked them for help with your homework and who none of your other friends (or their parents) really liked. honestly, she was kind of a bad friend if kc was honest but he doesn’t know what else to compare her to. for a long, long time his mother, as unusual as she was, was all he had. that was until kc was about seven and he didn’t even have that anymore.

when kc was seven a lot of shit went down at once. to start, his mother nearly overdosed, and that was the big thing. it was a traumatizing experience overall as that kind of thing would be for a seven year old, but kc would like to think he handled it like a champ. called the police, made sure his mother didn’t choke on her own vomit, and all that. but CPS was called and kc was promptly shipped out to live with a father had never met, which went as well as could be expected (refer to how and when kc was conceived above). kc stayed with them for all of six months, but well, all kc really had to do was breathe to completely ruin their marriage. even if kace was a bit dull at times even he understood that. so he wasn’t surprised when 'the boys trip’ his father took him on ended up just being a complicated ruse to dump him at his grandfather’s house for as long as he could get away with. considering it was near the end of the school year, it was a while.

now at that point as you can imagine kc was pretty drained emotionally. his mother was officially in rehab. his dad didn’t want him around. his stepmother and half siblings treated him like some kind of leper. and all of this happened within less than a year. that’s a lot for anyone to take let alone a seven year old. little kc was filled to the brim with a lot of emotions he didn’t know what to do with so for the most part he had shut down. barely spoke unless spoken to. very rarely smiled or expressed any sort of emotion really. his grandfather played a big part in fixing that.

grandpa thain lived in a cottage in the forest and worked for a camp not too far from his cabin. he dealt with the upkeep of the grounds during the school year as well as some handyman duties when needed. and for the most part he dragged his grandson along with him as his ‘assistant’. which mostly meant that kc pulled out the weeds his grandfather told him to or passed him the tools he asked for. just simple things like that. but to kc’s surprise he really liked it. he also really liked living with his grandfather in the middle of nowhere and being able to hear the birds in the morning or take naps in fields.

kc’s father paid for his first summer at dagwood. his half siblings came to the camp as well, in fact they had been coming longer than kc had. however, at the end of the summer, unlike his eager half siblings, kc didn’t want to leave again. dagwood had become this safe have for him of sorts, a place where he was slowly able to heal at his own pace, and he knew the moment he went back to his father’s house he would be returning to an environment he was unwanted. his grandfather made it so he didn’t have to return at all by offering to take kc in permanently.

it took some time and a lot of legal paperwork but kc’s grandfather ended up becoming his legal guardian. his grandfather home schooled him to the best of his capability during the school year, and during the summer’s kc attended camp dagwood and helped out his grandfather in whatever way he could. he continued to do so even after he turned eighteen, even going as far as to help out in between the online art school classes that he decided to take on a whim. his grandfather regretfully had to retire from dagwood, after working every day since the camps opening day. he retired with a lot of pride and kc is really proud of him honestly, and he has every plan to take his grandfather’s place once he gets promoted from counsellor. his grandfather insists that he doesn’t need to, and that he wants kc to do whatever he wants to do but kc is too stubborn and loyal to hear any of it. he’s determined to continue the legacy his grandfather is so proud of, and stay at the place that brought him so much comfort and peace, even though honestly it’s probably not the best thing for him. it’s honestly probably time for kc to move on to bigger and better things but he hasn’t realized that yet so until then, dagwood it is.

PERSONALITY. me as a hotel receptionist: *greets guests by playing hotel california but cutting it off right before they say california*

LOYAL. listen if you’re kc’s friend he would die for you and that’s just a fact. he is honestly loyal to fault. he will screw himself over for his friends because he’s dumb. theyt won’t even ask him to do it! he’ll do it anyways! he’s a fool

STUBBORN. not in an obvious way like generally kc is very flexible, go with the flow? will generally not hold an opinion in most arguments and is pretty happy to follow rather than lead. but when it comes to things that kc is passionate about?? oof. a bulldozer couldn’t move him. he’s a pain in the ass.

OBLIVIOUS. he’s a fool. kc will be the last one to know about his own damn feelings. kc will be the last one to know about anyone else’ feelings too. it could be so obvious. SO SO DAMN OBVIOUS, and yet kc??? has no idea. he’s that scene from juno where juno’s like ‘i like you’ and michael cera’s like ‘as a friend?’ jkdsdjk

CREATIVE. the only thing kc’s good at is creating things. he can make pretty much anything if he puts his mind to it. probably makes his own clothes honestly. can mend and repair yours. just as a weird brain tbh, if you ever want a different perspective on something go to kc because he’ll say something so wild sdjkdfkj

COMPASSIONATE. a kind boy tbh. wouldn’t hurt a fly. catches spiders in his hands and takes them outside. is a vegetarian. will listen to your problems any time and at least offer help even if he has no idea what to do.

LAZY. will fall asleep standing up with his eyes open. has fallen asleep on buses and ended up in different states. is terrible when it comes to getting up in the morning. eats his breakfast half asleep every day. like he’s a hard worker when it comes down to it, but if the options are playing with the campers or taking a nap in a warm patch of sun kc knows what he’s choosing... honestly kc is good with little kids but he would vastly prefer his grandfathers job, cause his gramps just worked by himself for the most part, and working with kids is so much more exhausting rip.

HEADCANNONS. you’re in her dms im daydreaming about her on public transport we are not the same.

loves all branches of art honestly, is also a big fan of music. can play the guitar, the drums and bass, all skills he mostly picked up on his own while being home schooled by his grandfather. tends to be rather humble about it but he’s actually pretty talented. will play the acoustic guitar by the campfire, is one hundred percent that guy

when doing art activity counselling kc has the energy of that one pottery guy from tiktok always. like that’s kc straight up.

has a bunch of tattoos that are mostly doodles that he made himself, sometimes doodles his friends have made too if he likes them enough. will put pretty much anything on body and tends to think of it as his canvas. wants to be that old man covered head to toe in tats by the time he’s ninety.

has been stung by wasps on fourteen different occasions over the years. literally kc has been stung every summer since he’s come here and it’s pretty much tradition at this point. like he hates it, but if too long goes by without him being stung he starts to get paranoid.

loves to climb things like trees and buildings. chills out in the branches/on top of roofs a LOT. would be the guy to fall asleep in a hammock and get a mustache drawn on his face by the campers. honestly that has probably happened.

jewish! kc’s religion wasn’t really a big part of his life when he was living with his mother but by the time he moved in with his grandfather that changed. they go to the synagogue together and everything even if it’s a bit out of the way.

might be narcoleptic honestly. is sleeping 99% of the time. if you don’t know where kc is check his bed tbh

will never tell anyone what kc stands for honestly, he thinks it’s amusing for people to guess. will answer to any version of k____ c____ you call him though. also accepts kace which is just a nickname for a pair of initials but skjsdm still he will answer to it

a hard worker even if he doesn’t look it. weirdly functional while working high? kc is one of those people who you never know is high cause he just acts as he normally does for the most part.

that said he is the most focused and like alert when drawing or painting or doing anything with his hands. takes his art incredibly seriously. has probably drawn up a mural for the camp, and literally stayed up three days and three nights to do it. very talented but doesn’t really think he’s talented enough to do anything with it? could get into art school if he tried, but he’s too loyal to ever leave his grandfather or the camp behind to do it.

very good at wood working surprisingly. this boy will make you a sexy ass chair. honestly kc is one of the those frustrating people who like you show him how to do something creative one time and he’s got it, his brain has tapped into it, he remembers. but don’t worry, give him one math problem and he completely shuts down sdkjsdjk

hates wearing shoes. will take his shoes off the moment he has the opportunity. straight up leaves his shoes places and then’ll be like ??? fuck where did i put those ???

can cook surprisingly well. makes bomb weed brownies but like just in general kace makes good food. always forgets to grocery shop until his fridge is empty though

dresses like a hippie. his general aesthetic makes it look like he was in nineties movie. wears wire rimmed glasses because they were his grandfather’s and he’s too broke to buy new frames. most hipsters see him and are like !!! cause they think he’s one of them but kc knows nothing about movies or coffee or like... anything but art really so they’re pretty quickly disappointed.

used to have hella long hair when he was younger, like he was usually picked on for looking kind of girly because of it. didn’t really care that much, or at least convinced himself he didn’t really care that much eventually. was glad when he got home schooled though cause at least then he didn’t have to deal with that anymore,

has a scar through his eyebrow from when he fell out of a tree his first summer.

has several ear piercings.

i forgot to mention, kc’s mother used to be a drug dealer before her overdose but he doesn’t really know what she does now. he doesn’t talk to her very often but he talks to his dad even less. whenever his mom contacts him it’s cause she’s gotten out of rehab and needs money. kc will usually give it to her because he’s soft.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. it takes me 3-7 business days to process my feelings

i am so tired so we’re doing this in a blob but i would love LOVE some exes from summers past, some ex flings, his first bf/gf, idk his first kiss would also be cool, someone who hates him like maybe an enemy or an old rival of some sort? an old stupid rivalry from when they were campers that they still can’t let go of now? just sayin. uh, an fwb or ewb situation maybe, another childhood friend would be cute, an opposites attract situation like i would love for kc to have a dynamic with someone who really has their shit together yk like completely different from his sleepy ass, a smoking buddy maybe! a family friend! godsibling! first love! someone who kc accidentally set on fire with a flaming marshmallow when they were thirteen! anything and everything please and thank you.

#dagwoodintro #this... took so long rip #and yet i want another muse #icb dkjdkj #this is also a mess but w/e

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nie7027 · 5 years

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DadReigen week day 3: Sports | Lessons

AHHHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT I’M DOING BUT AT LEAST I AM DOING SOMETHING

well heres the second (third, sorry mods of the event it wasn’t my intetion to disrupt the order ) fic for dadreigenweek with some Shou feelings(or at least tried)

I hope you like it

Sports

“It’s here” Reigen said at last stopping in the green open field.

“Here?” Shou glanced around and pointed with his thumbsat the monkey bars a few meters away from them “It’s a park Reigen. What kind of second rate spirit would haunt a park?” he deadpanned.

“What do you even know about spirits?!! Stop talking and let’s get to work. I’m the specialist here and I know what I’m talking about!”

“Sure you do old man. Sure you do” said Shou knowing fully well there wasn’t any spirit here. When Reigen turned his back to keep walking Shou stuck his tongue at him but still followed him.

Truth be told Shou had nothing better to do with Ritsu and the others being at school. He had already exhausted all his options and was dying of boredom, so when Reigen had asked his help this morning with a job he was very quick to accept. Too quick actually. I

f he had known it would require this much walking he would have thought it better.

But well this is what he deserved for sneaking into the office at unholy 8 in the morning and scaring the shit outta of Reigen.

Shou chuckled at the memory of the first time when Reigen took hold of his umbrella and lounged to attack what he thought was a intruder, screaming the entire time

It made Shou realize he should tell Reigen to put better locks at the office because if thats was how he planned to defend against an attack then he had very poor chances. It had been very easy for him to block the umbrella.

Reigen just groaned when Shou said this to him the next day.

“If some people just entered through the door like any decent person, I wouldn’t have the need to defend myself “

“Where’s the fun in that?” had said Shou grinning.

Reigen suddenly stopped and waved his hand “What are you laughing at? We are wasting time. Spirits wont be exorcised by just chattering!”

Shou decided to play along

“So, what exactly are we doing here? What was so important that you had to explicitly ask me for help instead of your oh-so-helpful-goodie-two shoes Serizawa?” Shou had to stop himself from cringing, that had come out more bitter than he had intended.

If Reigen noticed he didn’t acted on it.

“Even Serizawa has his personal matters to attend. Besides it’s not like he isn’t doing his work, someone had to stay back and look after the office” he then shrugged the backpack he had brought along and started rummaging looking for something “As for what we are doing….We are going to do and old ritual of sorts known from warding off evil spirits and attracting good energies-AJA HERE IT IS”

Shou had to do a double take at what Reigen was proudly holding in his hand.

An old worn out baseball ball.

Shou knew the man was a fraud but he was starting to think he had gone nuts.

“Reigen you do realize that’s a baseball ball right? Like do you realize you are holding a toy?”

“Of course I know what it is!” he said tossing the ball at Shou who caught it reflexively “It’s the most important part of the ritual”

“Ritual?” Shou inspected the ball. As he thought it was just a simple ball. “ What kind of ritual involves a baseball ball?”

“Im telling you. It’s a very old ritual!” Reigen exclaimed offended “We pass each other the ball thus creating with our own energies a ward circle that extends and protects the whole area”

“What? Where did you get that-” Shou bursted laughing when a relizations struck him “Ritsu was right and you get all your practices from shady webpages... How old are you exactly to believe that kind of bullshit?”

“Hey! you brat, I’ll let you know this is 100% real bussines, but what would a kid like you know disrepecting adults-”

“Shut up”

Shou frowned, it had been fun at first but now it was straight up annoying.

“I’m not Mob and if you think I am as naive as him to believe everything you say is right just because you are and adult and you said so then you are wrong.”

Shou turned his back fully intent of going away but froze when Reigen spoke.

“No! wait Shou, I’m sorry! It wasn’t my intention to make you feel less just for being a kid”

“I’m not a kid” Shou huffed

“I’m sorry anyway”

Shou sighed and turned around, scrutinizing Reigen’s gaze. It seemed sincere...unlike what he had seen in most adults throughout all his life.

“What are we doing here then?”he said crossing his arms “No more lies”

Reigen sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“For the last 2 weeks you have spent the morning at the office-I’m not saying you can’t, you are always welcomed but you just sit there waiting for Ritsu to come, or Mob or whoever gets there... It’s not good for you”

He then looked down at Shou “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Shou nodded, he had thought of those things already but….it was stupid but he had been so focused with taking down his dad he hadn’t thought what he would do next.

“So I thought...When I was young I used to play with-err I enjoyed playing fetch”

Reigen tried to leave it there but Shou wasn’t dumb, nor liked to be treated like he was fragile “I said no more lies, if you have something to say just do it”

“I was there, when you father tried to take over the world and I saw...I bet you have never played it”

He was right.

Shou handed him back the ball “Fine, let’s play.

Reigen smiled and for the second time that day Shou felts he shouldn’t have said yes so quickly. He had of course seen people playing fetch, it wasn’t that complicated but for some reason he still stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

Reigen moved some meters away and asked him if he was ready before throwing the ball which Shou caught again with no problem at all.

He returned the ball

Shou was confussed “How is this supposed to be fun?”

“Just wait and see!”

Reigen then took a few steps back before tossing the ball again. This time with too much force.

The flew past Shou to high for him to reach it so with a flick of his hands he commanded his powers to bring the ball to him.

“HEY NO POWERS THAT’S CHEATING” Reigen immediately screamed

“You were the one who threw it with too much force! How was I supposed to catch it? Running?”

“THAT´S THE POINT”

Shou was gonna make him eat his words.

With as much force as he could muster (and not powers) Shou threw the ball at him, it went above Reigen’s head but he actually ran and jumped catching the ball.

Shou pursed his lips, his competitive side taking over, when Reigen made a silly dance of victory.

The game was on.

They played until they were left panting and sweating on the ground, both their hair sticking to their foreheads and it was until then that Shou saw what else was inside the bag.

Juices pouches and sliced fruit.

Shou didn’t want to know why Reigen thought he could pass this as some spirit exorcism.

#dadreigenweek2019 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arataka #suzuki shou #nie's writing #usually shous voice comes very easily to me but this time i suffered

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magebae · 5 years

Text

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Rhea and her experiences with two different births. Slight Rhea/Catherine and F!Byleth/Lorenz (dont judge me im soft for their paired ending.

Spoilers for the Golden Deer route and Byleth’s Backstory

When she was born, she had no heartbeat. She was dead, but living. The mother wasn’t as “lucky,” and perished in the night, only having minutes with her unfortunate child. And yet, those minutes were all she needed if she had to go then and there.

Rhea would never forget that night. That she stood there and watched the woman she herself helped to create, helped to doom, die. Watched as she begged Rhea to save the baby, who was faring no better than the mother. And Rhea did it, not only out of respect for the woman she had once hoped would be the next progenitor god, but out of a greedful wish that maybe the baby would bring back her mother.

The mother’s name was Ariel. When she was born, Rhea tried everything she could to make sure that her plans would not fail this time. So many attempts, and yet Ariel proved to be another failure. Looking back, Rhea regretted the ways she took it out on the woman. She had been jaded by then, guilting Ariel to the point where the two had grown distant. Still, Rhea had let Ariel stay at the monastery as a nun. In a way, Ariel was thankful that she hadn’t been completely abandoned, but her heart was hurt from those years of shame and hate.

For most of her life, she was reclusive and distrusted others as a result. It wasn’t until she met Jeralt that she became more open to the world. She had truly began to love the world and appreciate all it had to give. Rhea could feel Ariel’s growing need to leave the monastery, and hadn’t cared. Jeralt and Ariel hadn’t been careful, and a child was conceived between the two of them. And yet, Ariel was still happy to have a child of her own. That was when Ariel had approached Rhea about leaving, but this new child could be the success Rhea was looking for. So, Rhea convinced the couple to stay at the monastery till the child was born. Part of her knew it was wrong, but by that point she had become so desperate that she was willing to do anything.

The pregnancy was rough. Rhea could see how drained Ariel became over time. She had very little energy toward the end, and looked sick. Not many thought she would survive the birth, and yet she and Jeralt still talked about their plans for the future. While Rhea felt sorry for the woman, she was more focused on the child’s potential. As the day of birth came closer, Rhea found herself becoming more hopeful that this time things would work out. That her mother would come back and end her despair. Even if it meant ripping the child away from it’s own mother, Rhea went forward with her plan.

When the birth actually began, Ariel appeared panicked. Rhea had told Jeralt to stay outside, and though he was very discontent with it, he still complied. Ariel spent her last hours in pain, suffering so that she could finally meet the baby she already loved. The baby she sang to whenever she could, who she promised to give the world to. Even till the end she believed she’d be able to live a full life with her child. But Rhea knew that would never be the case. And it wasn’t until Ariel held her child in her arms, her silent, almost dead child, that she realized that she too was nearing her end. And in those last minutes, Ariel asked Rhea to do something Rhea thought the woman would oppose.

“Save this child’s life no matter what.”

Ariel didn’t specify what she meant, but Rhea knew. Despite her hopefulness, Ariel wasn’t naive. She was giving Rhea permission to put Sothis’ heart in the baby. Even if it meant she would die. Rhea didn’t know how to respond. All this time, she had been so guilty, so uncaring for Ariel. And here Ariel was, making such a selfless decision. It put Rhea to shame, even made her feel hatred toward herself for how she had become during Ariel’s pregnancy.

“... The baby is a girl...I’ll have to do it soon… I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

The other didn’t respond. Ariel had feared death, had cried and cried to Jeralt behind closed doors about the possibility, but at that moment, all she could feel was peace. A darker side of her deep down was happy to have been done with this miserable life, even if she had found happiness with Jeralt. Even if she had lived, she knew the shadow of Sothis would always be cast on her, that she could never run away from Rhea. So with the few minutes she had left, she hugged her baby. She sang a song a nun had taught her, and cradled the almost dead baby to her chest. Despite trying not to, she imagined a better future, one where the three could be a family, far away from crests and gods. Ariel cried for her lost future, shedding tears the infant may never be able to.

“Byleth. I want to name her Byleth.… My darling Byleth, I’m sorry I won’t be with you much longer. I only hope… you can one day smile, and be free. You and Jeralt… smile, be happy.”

Rhea had to intervene. Despite the scene in front of her, Rhea’s selfishness took over. It was time.

“... Mother...it's time for us to be together again.”

30 years later

The deja vu that hit Rhea was unpleasant to remember. Many years had passed and the woman was still forced to face her guilt everyday of her life. But the past few months had been exceedingly rough for the aged woman.

After the last battle with Nemesis, she had retired to the Red Canyon with Catherine. They had started a new, simpler life together, Rhea in contemplation and self punishment, and Catherine in devotion. Rhea was not sure what to make of their relationship which had certainly become romantic, but was still awkward. The two had been content to live their lives away from society, Rhea being there for Catherine as the mortal aged. But still, Rhea found herself unable to truly find peace, knowing what she had become.

It was five years after the battle with Nemesis that Byleth visited the two at the Red Canyon. The child- no, woman- had become a proud, skilled leader of the people. Ruling over the new dawn of Fodlan, she brought about more equality and prosperity with the help of her allies. Though she held the title of Queen, it was thanks to her past students that she was able to mend some of the scars of war. With those years, she had become hardened in appearance. She no longer cared for the length of her hair, letting it grow out. A crown lay upon her head, similar in style to Sothis’ yet different enough to separate herself from the god. While she usually wore clothing more fitting of her new status, she had dressed simple for the long trip to the Red Canyon.

“We need to talk,” is all Byleth said at first, no kind of hello or warmness to the former archbishop.

“... Of course,” was all Rhea could respond with.

“My husband and I want to have a baby… But I’m afraid I might run into some complications,”

“... I see.” It was rare to see Byleth’s neutral face crack, but now, she showed her genuine concern. Rhea felt uncomfortable being face to face with the other again. She was drowned in guilt once more, not just from seeing Byleth, but from her talks of pregnancy. It was like she was being brought back to that moment 30 years ago. Along with that, she had not ending things on the best of terms with Byleth five years ago. She understood why, Byleth’s anger at what she’d done was justifiable. When the fighting had finished, Byleth had been able to take in all that Rhea had said, and had responded in rage. She could finally let out her aggressions on Rhea, letting her know how badly she had hurt Byleth’s father with what she did. She hadn’t even been at the wedding between Byleth and… and Lorenz.

Rhea hadn’t expected it either. She had honestly thought Byleth would end up with Claude considering how close the two were. Even Seteth had agreed with her years ago when they talked about Byleth and the lord. And yet, after the war she announced plans to be with Lorenz. It was just another thing that made Rhea realize that she truly didn’t know Byleth. The couple had walked out of the Goddess Tower, hand in hand, looking overjoyed one day after the war had ended. From what Rhea heard, their love only grew stronger over the years, the Lord of Roses helping his wife to fairly rule over the people and help bring about a reformation in the land.

“I will admit, I do not know what would happen for sure. You are the first of your kind. However, I can still help you during your pregnancy. I am afraid my notes from back then were destroyed, but… I can still remember some of what I learned, and I can use it to help you.”

Byleth only nodded.

Two Years Later

When he was born, he had a heart beat. A healthy baby boy. Byleth laid on the bed, crying tears of joy as she looked upon her son.

Byleth’s pregnancy had been very different from Ariel’s. The woman faced some complications, but hadn’t grown sick and weak. Rhea had arrived with Catherine to the queen’s home around seven months ago to help the Queen. Her husband had urged Byleth to rest, but the Queen still tried to be involved in government affairs. While Lorenz had taken on a lot of her work, Byleth found herself talking more with Rhea and the older woman helped her. They would never be friends, but the two reached an understanding of each other. And unlike with Ariel, Rhea had not been invasive with her aid. Both had worked together and learned how to increase the chances of mother and child surviving.

And so, when Byleth went into labor, Rhea was genuinely helping Byleth not for her own selfish reasons, but because she wanted to do it right this time. She knew nothing could make up for the past, but at least she could be a different person now. It helped her see the beauty she had ignored back then. The birth itself was hard on Byleth. Her screams echoed throughout the building. Rhea knew Lorenz wanted to be in the room, but Rhea knew it was too risky. Thus, Byleth gripped anything she could, creating rips in the blankets and pillows. Byleth pushed and cried until finally, a new cry broke out into the room. It was almost shocking to Rhea. It was beautiful.

Rhea cleaned the baby, taking in all of his features. There was a dusting of purple hair on the infant’s head. She could see that the boy would look more like his father just from the features he possessed. Despite this, she was also aware of the baby’s slightly pointed ears. Clearly, the child’s blood had been affected by the heart of Sothis. It would make things harder for the boy, but Rhea knew the family would overcome it. She couldn’t help but smile at the child as she finished up and brought him back to his mother.

“It’s a boy. He’s such a beautiful child.”

Rhea watched Byleth smile and reach for her baby. While Byleth may never be able to express the full extent of human emotion, she had become more expressive over the years. She could smile and be happy. This feeling of relief has rarely ever overcome Rhea like this.

“Let everyone in,” Byleth managed to get out between deep breaths.

“Of course… Have you picked a name yet?” Rhea asked.

“Jeralt.”

Rhea smiled and walked to the door.

#fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #fe16 #fe:3h #byleth #rhea #fe lorenz #spoilers

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today-we-will-survive · 5 years

Text

07. Save Me

A story based on the fictional HYYH world about six boys with unimaginable problems and their friend that can’t do anything to help.

Member: Jungkook

Genre: Angst

Warning: warnings are in the masterlist

Word Count: 6.5K

Parts can be found on my Masterlist under “The Most Beautiful Moment In Life”

A/N: New parts every Tuesday and Friday

You can only pick up the pieces and paste them back together so many times before they no longer fit.

April.

One evening when Jungkook was ten, he and his parents were driving home from the grocery store. This was a weekly occurrence with them. One he always looked forward to because he and his dad would race each other down the aisles. This particular night, it was raining really hard. So hard that the wipers were working at a rapid pace to try and keep the windshield clear and the street visible. The sound, though a bit jarring, was repetitive enough to turn into a sort of rhythm. One that had Jungkook’s eyelids growing heavy until he slumped against the door, face pressed against his palm, and he drifted to sleep.

When he opened his eyes again, it wasn’t to the sound of rain on the metal car roof or the double time beat of the windshield wipers. It was to the beeps of monitors and quiet conversations between strangers. It was too bright. Too white. Too sterile. It took him several seconds to realize he was lying in a bed in a hospital room. And his parents weren’t in there with him.

The night they were all coming home from grocery shopping, a semi truck had run a red light and smashed into them. His dad had been killed instantly and his mom only lived for another week before dying in the hospital of complications. The crash had put Jungkook in a coma and by the time he came out of it, he didn’t have parents. He’d fallen asleep on the way home from the store and woken up in the hospital two weeks later, completely alone in the world.

For several months after the wreck, he’d withdrawn into himself, and while he barely ever spoke a word to anyone during that time, the voice in his mind screamed at the heavens, demanding to know why he had lived. Why his family had been taken. Why he couldn’t have gone with them. He’d heard a nurse say back in the hospital that the only reason he survived was because, since he’d been asleep, his body was limp, therefore absorbed most of the impact, unlike his parents who, as anyone else anticipating a collision would, tensed up. It’s why drunk drivers so often walk away from a crash when their victim doesn’t. If he would have been awake, maybe he’d be wherever his parents were too. Maybe they could be together.

He’d been in the foster system ever since then. Being moved from fake family to fake family, temporary house to temporary house so quickly sometimes he didn’t even get the chance to memorize his address. No one wanted a preteen. Once you were past the impressionable age, you were treated more as a guest in the house rather than part of the family. No one willingly took in older kids and teenagers because they wanted to. It was always for the money. At least, that was how Jungkook saw it.

He’d learned that out of all of the kids he ever lived with, he was the expendable one. The one that didn’t need attention. Didn’t need love because he could take care of himself. Over time, he’d learned to survive. To see his fake family as a provider of the bare necessities and nothing else. He’d learned to never grow attached. To never let anyone in. To never even unpack his things because any day now, his case worker was going to knock on the door and tell him it was time to move on.

It’s hard not to latch onto the bitterness and let it fester inside you. Especially when there’s such a lack of love in your life. Jungkook shut down, made a bubble around himself of anger and hatred. He’d get into it with his fake siblings, with his fake parents. With anyone that looked at him wrong. He got into sports and started working out as a way to avoid home and clear his mind. He got bigger, more intimidating. People started leaving him alone.

Then in seventh grade, he saw a small boy get cornered by a group of guys much bigger than him. He didn’t even hesitate before getting right in the middle of it, blocking the boy with his body and staring them down until they backed off. That was the day he met Jimin. The day he figured out that his strength could in fact be put to good use. Jimin introduced him to Tae and it didn’t take long for the two to break down his walls. To show him that there were in fact people in this world that cared about him. That he could care about too.

When he met the rest of the guys, he found himself feeling angry less often. Smiling more. Laughing even. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so much. They were his escape from the real world. The ones that kept him going. That kept him sane. He wanted to protect them with everything he had. Protect Jimin from the darkness that enshrouded him at school.

“Out!”

“Fine!”

Jungkook slammed the front door to his house behind him and slung his backpack over his shoulder. His ears burned under the hood of his sweatshirt and hot tears glazed his eyes, threatening to spill over the moment he blinked. It seemed like more and more this was the way he’d leave. With a shouting match between he and his fake dad and then a slam of the door.

Jimin’s mom’s car idled on the curb, Jimin sitting in the passenger seat, his eyes following Jungkook as he trudged toward them.

“Morning, Jungkook,” Jimin’s mom said when Jungkook slid into the backseat.

“Morning,” he uttered and sniffed hard to keep the tears from spilling over. When his eyes were finally dry, he looked up, catching Jimin staring in the rear view mirror. The older boy’s forehead was creased, the corners of his eyes dipped low with concern. Jungkook turned his head, tearing his gaze from his friend’s and watched the houses rush by through the window. Then he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out.

Jimin: fake dad?

Jungkook glanced up again to see that Jimin’s eyes were still trained on him through the mirror. With a sigh, he looked back down at his screen, his fingers typing out an answer.

JK: yea. im fine tho.

Jimin: ok

It was obvious Jimin didn’t believe him but Jungkook was an impenetrable fortress that chose when to let people in and when to keep them locked out. He didn’t like talking about his home life, especially to Jimin. The boy had enough to worry about with school and Jiho and therapy. The last thing he needed was to be triggered by Jungkook and his miserable situation. Jimin had always been an empathetic soul, though. And maybe that was why Jungkook had been drawn to him from the start. Jungkook was comfortable around him. He felt understood even though Jimin knew very little. The only other person in the group he’d opened up to was Yoongi.

Yoongi.

The older boy had been like a big brother to him. Like a father. A protector. A home. His words still resonated in Jungkook’s head, bouncing around in his skull like a ricocheting bullet. I don’t want you anymore. He never thought he’d hear that from Yoongi. His fake dad had drilled it into him that he wasn’t actually wanted. That they only took in a fourteen year old with a temper because they knew he’d be easier to manage than their younger wards. And money was money. As long as they kept him fed and clothed, they would receive a check every month. He expected that from them. But not Yoongi. Never Yoongi.

He hadn’t believed he’d heard his hyung right at first. That, for some reason, his ears had interpreted what the boy had said incorrectly. That maybe his mind had been playing tricks on him. But then the words hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest, bruising his ribcage and crushing his lungs. They’d left him breathless.

You don’t want me anymore? He’d had to be sure. Yoongi couldn’t have said it. Couldn’t have meant to say something that he knew would cause so much damage to the younger boy. That would leave him feeling so broken. So worthless. You heard me. And he had. And he heard him for weeks after that. Those words. Those words that pierced him to the core. That extinguished his spirit and left him groping around in darkness.

I don’t want you anymore.

Leaving Yoongi’s house that night, he’d wandered the streets for a while, his anger and hurt slowly fading to numbness. And now he only ever felt one of the two. When he was angry he wanted to punch something or someone and when he was numb, he wanted to feel pain. Just needed to feel something.

He lashed out even more at his foster parents. At the other kids in the house. At his teachers and students at school. He got in a lot of fights. Provoked classmates and rough looking strangers on the streets. He was lucky no one ever pulled a knife or a gun on him. Though maybe he secretly hoped someone would.

“Why don’t you stay at my house tonight?” Jimin asked once they’d gotten to school and his mom’s car had pulled away from the curb. “Friday night’s pizza night.”

“You know I can’t turn down pizza night,” Jungkook replied, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a small smirk. Just the prospect of not having to go back to his fake family after school was enough to lighten his mood a bit. Just a bit, though. Yoongi’s words still dragged him down into the icy depths of a dark ocean, but the thought of staying at Jimin’s house at least gave him a chance to break the surface and take in a breath before being pulled back down again.

School had never really been a problem for Jungkook. He’d always stayed pretty much in the middle academically. Never getting straight A’s but never getting below a C. It kept his fake parents and the teachers off his back which was all that mattered to him. Though now with Taehyung no longer at school as he awaited his trial, Jungkook was having to rush from his classes that he didn’t share with Jimin to meet the boy, sometimes forgetting to turn in his homework or stopping by his locker to grab his books for his next class. He was starting to fall a bit behind and his grades were reflecting it.

Jiho had left them pretty much alone for a while now. Sure, Jungkook saw him in the halls and sometimes would catch him just looking at Jimin but it seemed like making Jimin miserable was no longer on his agenda. Maybe he’d finally gotten bored of tormenting him. Though Jungkook wasn’t stupid enough to let his guard down, even for a second.

“I’m sorry I forgot Tae’s homework,” Jimin said as he walked quickly down the hall toward his locker. He’d been bringing work to Taehyung so the boy would still be able to graduate on time. “I don’t know why I didn’t grab it before class. I guess I was just in such a rush. It was stupid.”

“It’s fine, Jiminie,” Jungkook said. He almost had to jog to keep up. The boy was so much smaller than him, how was he covering so much ground so quickly?

“I’ve just been stressed out ever since Tae got arrested and all that crap and now you’re having to work twice as hard and I just—” he stopped in front of his locker, hand hovering over the combination dial. He squeezed his eyes shut with a sigh then looked up at Jungkook. “I’m sorry I’m so weak, Jungkook-ah.”

Jungkook sucked in a breath, words of assurance at the back of his throat when he heard a locker slam a bit further down the hall. He and Jimin turned to find Jiho, by himself, coming toward them. Where were his friends?

“So the rumors are true, then,” Jiho said, his dark eyes sparkling as he leaned against the locker next to Jungkook. “Your other guard dog got sent to the pound.”

Jungkook was in Jiho’s face in a second, teeth bared. “Don’t talk about Tae like that,” he growled.

The bully’s eyes widened in fear for just a second before narrowing to slits, a devilish grin pulling his mouth upward. “Or what?” he asked quietly. “You can’t touch me. Not here anyway.”

“Wanna bet?” Jungkook asked, stepping forward again, forcing Jiho to back up against the locker.

Jiho let out a dark chuckle. “You want to hit me so bad right now, don’t you, Pitt-bull?”

He had no idea.

Jungkook could feel the muscle in his arm tightening and contracting with each clench of his fist. He wanted so badly to slam his knuckles against Jiho’s skull. Make him think twice before ever even looking Jimin’s way again. He was so sick of seeing the fear, the exhaustion, the misery in Jimin’s eyes every day when he’d come to school. Even though graduation was less than two months away, it still wasn’t close enough. Jungkook didn’t know if Jimin was going to make it. He already looked skinnier than he had even just a month ago. Much longer and he’d wither away to nothing. Disappear completely. All because of this worthless piece of trash grinning up at Jungkook. He’d been feeling so cold, so empty since Yoongi had abandoned him. But now fire built in his gut. Flames licked up his chest. Burned his throat and set his eyes ablaze. If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was protect his friends. And this worm was still threatening one of them.

He’d had enough.

“Come on, Jungkook,” Jiho uttered so only he could hear. “There aren’t any teachers around. Hit me.”

Jungkook felt a cold hand on his arm, fingers curling around his bicep. “Jungkook-ah.” Jimin’s small voice was barely audible over the sound of Jungkook’s heart crashing in his ears. “Come on. He’s not worth it.”

Jungkook turned his head to look at his friend. At his tired face. At his pallid skin. His hollowed cheeks. The boy looked like he hadn’t felt happiness in years, yet somehow he still managed to greet him every morning with a smile. How was this boy still alive?

“You’re right, Jimin,” Jungkook said and glanced back at Jiho. “He’s not worth it.” Then he turned to meet his friend’s eyes again. “But you are.”

Before Jimin could stop him, Jungkook reared back and threw his fist forward. It connected with a sickening crack against Jiho’s cheekbone, sending the boy crashing to the ground on his hands and knees. A thick stream of bloody saliva dripped from his mouth and he spit onto the linoleum floor before looking back up to meet Jungkook’s eyes. His face split in a wide, red stained grin.

“Jungkook, what did you do?” Jimin whispered from behind him.

When he turned to look at him, Jungkook’s eyes caught on someone over his shoulder. Principal Song approached with two of Jiho’s friends trailing behind him.

He’d been set up. Of course Jiho and his friends had planned this. Anything to get Jimin’s second guard dog in trouble and out of the picture.

“What on earth is going on here?” Principal Song asked, his face red with anger.

Jiho’s friends rushed forward to help the injured boy up and he stumbled a bit, playing up that he was really hurt. And he probably was. Jungkook had hit him pretty hard.

“He just hit me, Principal Song-nim,” Jiho said weakly. “Just straight up punched me in the face.”

“Don’t even pretend you didn’t provoke him, Jiho,” Jimin snapped from behind Jungkook then looked at the principal. “He was just defending me.”

“Jungkook,” Principal Song barked.

Jungkook hadn’t said a word or moved a muscle since first seeing the man coming toward him. The fire in his gut raged on, leaving his shoulders heaving and his heart pounding. His eyes drilled into the man as his fists clenched tighter. He could feel where the skin on one of his knuckles had split when it came in contact with Jiho’s face.

Jiho. He wanted to make the boy suffer as much as he’d made Jimin suffer since middle school. He wanted to make him wish he’d never said a word to Jimin. Never laid hands on him. Jungkook wanted to kill him.

“Did you hit this student?” the principal asked gesturing toward the cowering Jiho.

Finally, Jungkook pulled in a steady breath to speak. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because he told me to.”

Principal Song opened his mouth but nothing came out. He obviously hadn’t expected to hear that answer and now he flapped his mouth a few more times like a fish, his eyes darting back and forth between the injured boy and the one that had injured him. At last, he gathered his thoughts. “We have a strict no violence policy here. You were all made well aware of that at the beginning of the year. Did you forget?”

Jungkook clenched his jaw. “No,” he said through gritted teeth.

“So what made you do it?”

“He’s been harassing Jimin since sixth grade.” Jungkook said coldly. “Where’ve you been?”

Again, the principal was stricken speechless. It took him just a few seconds to regain his composure. “You not liking the way we do things does not justify taking matters into your own hands.” Then Principal Song turned to Jiho and his friends. “Please escort Jiho to the nurse and then all of you get to class.” He waited as they made their way down the hall and disappeared around the corner. Then he turned to Jungkook. “You know the rules, young man. You’ll need to come with me. Back to class, Jimin.”

Jungkook watched a look of horror pass over Jimin’s face as the principal took Jungkook by the shoulder and led him away. He craned his neck around, keeping his eyes locked on Jimin’s until they turned the corner. Dread filled his own stomach. If he was suspended, how would he be able to protect Jimin? He turned his head to look back at the principal.

“Principal Song-Nim, you can’t suspend me. Jimin can’t—”

“The staff will do whatever we can to keep our students safe,” the man replied sternly. “He will be fine without you.”

That was it. Jungkook ripped his shoulder out of the principal’s hand and turned to face him. The boy was eye level with the man but more muscular and he couldn’t help but feel a flash of cruel satisfaction when Principal Song took a slight step backward.

“This school has done nothing to make Jimin feel safe,” Jungkook growled. “Something is going to happen to him while I’m gone. Just watch. And when it does, I’m not going after Jiho and his lackeys. I’m coming after you.”

Principal Song’s eyes narrowed to shining black slits. “That sounded like a threat, Jeon Jungkook,” he said. “And threats will not be tolerated at this school.” Then he straightened up, standing eye to eye once again with the boy. “You’re no longer suspended.”

“Wai—”

“You’re expelled.”

Jungkook could feel the anger churning in his belly like an ocean in a hurricane. His fists clenched at his sides and his jaw became prominent as he ground his teeth together.

“Now, if you don’t want the police to get involved, I suggest getting off school grounds immediately.”

Jungkook watched out of the tops of his eyes as the man turned and strolled away and into his office. The whole inner wall was glass so Jungkook could see him go all the way across the room to sit at his oak desk. When the principal was finally seated, he looked up, locking eyes with Jungkook before reaching slowly for the phone. Obviously, he’d been serious when he said he’d call the police on Jungkook if he didn’t leave right then. What else could Jungkook do but go? He couldn’t go back to tell Jimin what happened. He couldn’t return the next week to walk him to his classes. It was over.

With a defeated sigh, his angry expression fell and his eyes slid from the principal’s down to the floor as he trudged toward the exit. What was he going to tell Jimin?

Jungkook waited at the bus stop across the street from the school until the students were let out at the end of the day. He couldn’t risk being caught on the property and getting the cops called on him, so when he finally saw Jimin coming out the front doors, he jumped to his feet and waited anxiously there on the other side of the crosswalk like a dog at the end of his leash. His eyes followed the boy closely, never straying as Jimin pulled his hood up over his faded orange hair. He watched him make his way across the street, his hands jammed deep into the pocket of his hoodie. Watched him glance his way before shaking his head and trudging past him down the sidewalk.

Jungkook knew he looked ridiculous trailing after the boy like a puppy but he couldn’t help it. He needed to apologize. Needed to explain. Needed Jimin to stop ignoring him. Please, just stop ignoring him.

“Jiminie, just stop for a second. Please,” Jungkook finally said, grabbing the smaller boy’s arm and spinning him around to face him.

“Why did you hit him, Jungkook?” Jimin asked. He set his jaw in a hard line, his eyes drilling into Jungkook’s and for the first time, Jungkook actually felt intimidated by his icy stare. “Well?”

With a sigh, Jungkook looked back at the school again. It was several blocks away now. Jimin had gone pretty far before Jungkook caught up to him. “I just need to tell you something…”

“Yes, please do, Jungkook,” Jimin said. “Tell me exactly what you were thinking. Tell me why you thought it would be a good idea to punch Jiho at school when you know that they’ve been cracking down on their whole no violence policy, which is a load of crap, by the way, since apparently Jiho doesn’t even need to touch me to mess with me every day. And now, you’ve gone and gotten yourself suspended so what—”

“Expelled.”

Jimin went silent.

Jungkook didn’t want to meet his eyes. He kicked at a clump of moss sticking up from between a crack in the sidewalk. Stuffed his hands in his pockets and grabbed at the lint that had collected in the seams. Rolled his tongue against his cheek. Until finally, the silence was too heavy to bear and he had to look up.

Jimin’s icy facade had melted, leaving a stricken expression on his pale face. His lips were slightly parted, his shoulders heaving and then his fingers flew up into his hair and panic filled his eyes. “Y-you what?”

Immediately, Jungkook wished he could take everything back. Wished he hadn’t let Jiho’s comment about Taehyung get to him. Wished he’d controlled the fire raging in him. Wished he’d fought the urge to hit him. Wished he hadn’t just uttered the one word that could make his friend suddenly look so scared.

Jimin’s breathing turned ragged and he raked his quivering hands down his face. “Expelled?” he cracked. “You got expelled? I won’t have you? I won’t have Tae? Jiho will…” He staggered, almost crashing into the bushes lining the sidewalk if not for Jungkook reaching out and grabbing him. The boy’s skin felt clammy, his whole body trembling. Jungkook had seen his friend have plenty of anxiety attacks but this was completely different. A panic attack worse than any he’d ever had.

“It’ll be okay, Jiminie,” Jungkook whispered as he sank down onto the curb, enveloping the boy in his arms, letting him crumble into his chest as he descended further into panic. “I’ll figure it out. You won’t be alone. It’ll be okay.” Jungkook knew he was making empty promises. He wasn’t allowed back on school property. Tae wasn’t going back to school, at the very least, until after his trial and that was only if he was found not guilty. And even then, school would be over anyway. Jimin was right. He was all alone. And it was Jungkook’s fault.

It had been almost eight years since he lost his parents and the memories, the details, had faded over time. But sometimes, out of nowhere, his mom or dad’s face would appear in his mind with startling detail, leaving him breathless.

This time it was a dream that they appeared to him in. More of a nightmare, really. He could see the crash happening. Hear the collision. The jarring sound of tires squealing, brakes seizing, glass and metal crumpling. He saw his mom’s terror-filled eyes and heard her scream his name. And then he woke up.

It took him a second to realize he was laying on the floor in Jimin’s room instead of sprawling across the backseat of a car. A layer of cold sweat coated his naked torso and matted his hair down to his forehead.

He heard a groan just then and watched as Jimin’s arm stirred where it lay slung over the edge of his mattress. “Jungkook-ah?”

“I’m fine,” Jungkook said sitting up and pressing his palms into his eyes. “Just had a nightmare, Jiminie. Go back to sleep.”

With another barely-awake groan, Jimin rolled over to face the wall. Jungkook peered at him from over the edge of the bed. The boy’s blankets had slipped off of him in the night and now he lay curled into a ball, his cotton pants riding up his legs to expose his boney ankles. He was so small. Too small.

Jungkook got up quietly and tugged Jimin’s blanket back in place over his body. The boy nuzzled his pillow, never opening his eyes but letting out a contented sigh. At least he seemed to be having good dreams. With a sharp breath to clear his head, Jungkook reached for his shirt and tugged it on then grabbed his hoodie and slipped from the room quietly.

The whole house was dark and silent, the place awash in cold, blue light cast by the streetlamp that filtered in through the filmy curtains covering the windows. Jimin’s house was nice. Not super nice like Jin’s, but homey, comfortable. Jungkook felt a stab of jealousy in his gut as he made his way to the entryway where his shoes were. He passed walls lined with photos of Jimin in different stages of growing up. Family photos and birthday photos and school photos. Jungkook hadn’t lived in a house where his picture adorned a wall in a long time. Having been shuffled from one place to the next so many times had made him forget what it was even like to have a place to call his. Sure, he’d been with his current caretakers for a few years now but he’d never go so far as to call those people his family or that house his home.

After pulling his shoes on, Jungkook unlocked and opened the front door quietly. It was unusually warm for a spring night but Jungkook welcomed the feeling of the wind on his face. He’d woken up with goosebumps dotting his skin and this was the comfort he needed to wash away the image of his mom’s terror-filled eyes.

He often went for walks when he needed to clear his head. So much had happened that day that this walk was necessary. Heck, the past several months had been nothing but one hit after another. From Taehyung killing his dad to getting arrested, to Yoongi suddenly flipping out on Jin and tossing Jungkook out like a piece of trash. Jungkook sucked in a sharp breath at that last thought.

He’d made it to the end of Jimin’s street, past the mini mart and out onto the main road that ran through the city. He wasn’t sure where he was headed but it didn’t really matter anyway. He could go on forever and no one would miss him. He already was nothing but a burden on the people that knew him. And he’d let down the only one that didn’t see him as such.

After hearing the same words for the past eight years of his life, that he was only as good as the money he brought in, that he needed to stop relying on others to take care of him, that he needed to grow up and be a man, it was hard to not believe it was all true. And then there was Jimin. His best friend and the boy that relied on him more than anyone else. The boy that trusted him to keep him safe and he’d failed. Failed at his one responsibility.

Jungkook cut across the street and around a corner. The school loomed in front of him, its tall, white stone clocktower raising up to pierce the sky like a blade. Jungkook sat down on the bench he’d waited for Jimin on earlier in the day and rested his head in his hands.

That dream had really shaken him. Had brought everything back. And now the hole in his chest that had finally begun to shrink with time felt gaping again. Without any warning, his chest contracted and he let out a sob. Then the tears came.

He buried his face in his arms, crumpling into a ball there on the bench as he cried. His voice echoed down the street, filling the darkness with sounds of anguish. He didn’t know how long he cried but when he finally looked up again, his lungs hurt and his eyes burned.

Jungkook leaned back, resting his head against the back of the bench so he could look up at the sky. The city lights washed out most of the stars but the brightest ones were still visible. Shining and twinkling the way stars do, completely unaware or maybe uncaring of the trivial problems of humans. Stars have much bigger things to worry about.

With a heavy sigh Jungkook got up again. The air had cooled significantly since he left Jimin’s house and now he hunched his shoulders forward and shoved his hands deep into his pockets to brace himself against the chill. He was exhausted and only now did he regret leaving the house in the first place. It was going to be a long, cold walk back.

He didn’t even see the car flying down the road toward him. The driver apparently didn’t see him either because they didn’t even attempt to slow down before plowing into him. The whole thing happened so quickly that Jungkook didn’t know it until he landed on the road on his back with a sickening crunch. The impact ripped all of the air from his lungs and he lay there for several panicking seconds as he tried to will them to expand again. When he finally was able to pull in a breath, he knew something was wrong. He couldn’t inhale right. When he tried to move his legs, they wouldn’t budge. He couldn’t feel anything. Something was definitely wrong.

His heart pounded in his chest and he could hear how ragged and shallow his breathing was. His vision blurred with every beat. The air grew thick and suddenly he felt like he was drowning. Panic washed over him like a wave and his unfocused eyes watched as the surface grew more and more distant. He was sinking further. Falling into the dark depths of the unknown.

Please, no. Please, not here. Not like this.

Jungkook could feel himself being tugged further down and he grit his teeth, struggling against current. No matter how hard he struggled, he couldn’t fight it. He could feel his energy draining. Feel his heartbeat weakening. The sound of it slowing seemed to surround him until it was all he could hear. Until there was nothing but him, floating in this black ocean, listening to his dying pulse.

Please…not like this.

He thought of Jimin, sleeping peacefully in his bed. He thought of Tae who still constantly wore that haunted look on his face. Of Hoseok and how lifeless he’d become. Of Namjoon and how much he beat himself up over letting Tae down. Of Yoongi.

“Yoongi.”

The name left Jungkook’s lips in a cracked wheeze. His throat constricted and it took him several more seconds and too much energy to force the muscles to relax so he could breathe again.

What he wouldn’t give to see Yoongi again. He just wanted to hear his voice. Wanted to hear him assure him that everything would be okay. That he would get through this. That what happened with Jimin wasn’t his fault. Though he knew it was.

I don’t want to die alone.

A sob broke free of Jungkook’s throat and he took in another gasping breath before plunging below the surface of the dark ocean again. Memories of his life floated around him in the darkness. As if watching silent movies on a projector, his eyes roved over the familiar scenes. Of when he met Jimin, and the rest of the guys. When they had their first beach day. Of one of the many parties at Yoongi’s where Jungkook spent the whole time on the couch stuffed between Jimin and Tae while playing video games. Of the first time he went to Yoongi after his fake dad told him he was worthless. Yoongi pulling him in for a hug, his arms holding Jungkook’s broken pieces together. And finally, his eyes fell on a memory. A memory of him and his parents the night before his seventh birthday when the three of them were making cupcakes and he and his dad ended up getting into a frosting fight.

He focused on his parents’ faces. On the laugh lines creasing the corners of his mom’s eyes. On the gray flecks of scruff peppering his dad’s chin. These were the things he had forgotten over the years. The things that were so vivid and real to him now.

Suddenly the thought of dying didn’t terrify him anymore. Now, instead, Jungkook could only feel an undeniable sense of peace. He’d finally get to be with his parents. He’d finally have a family again. He was so close to the edge, he could feel it.

At last, he opened his eyes. The black sky stretched above him and through the blurry film of tears, he could still make out the stars. Now they didn’t seem like cold, uncaring orbs of light in the distance. They were much closer. So close he’d be able to reach out and brush them with his fingertips if he had the strength.

Kook-ah. What do you think you’re doing?

Jungkook blinked hard and sighed. “Yoongi-hyung?” he uttered, his words drawn out and slurred. He could feel himself fading fast.

Just hold on, Kook. Just keep fighting.

Jungkook’s heart rate plunged again, his thoughts suddenly foggy. It was getting harder to breathe. “I-I can’t…hyung.”

Do it for us, Kook. Please. Do it for Jimin.

“It’s…too…” Jungkook could feel himself drifting in and out of consciousness, “late…for Jimin.”

Bull.

A puff of air escaped his nose in a weak laugh. He couldn’t help feeling a twinge of sadness at the thought of leaving his friends behind. He felt the warmth of fresh tears spring to his eyes when he thought about the moments he’d shared with them. The parties, the jokes, the meals at the diner. He’d had nothing until he met them, and then they were his everything. He couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

With his teeth gritted against the pain, Jungkook slid his arm along the pavement, scraping the exposed skin of his wrist across the ground as he reached for his pocket. His energy was draining fast and he knew he didn’t have much longer. By the time his fingers brushed the hem of his pocket, he was breathing hard. Just a little bit further. A choked sob fell from his lips when he realized his pocket was empty. His phone wasn’t there.

Exhausted, he let his head fall to the side, his fading vision landing on the cracked black device sitting next to him. He felt like he was going to cry with relief. His arm was too heavy to lift and for a few seconds he stared helplessly at his phone, the sound of his heartbeat slowing in his ears. But then he pulled in a breath.

“Hey Siri,” he wheezed and then waited with bated breath until at last, the screen of his phone came to life and his mouth nudged up into a weak, triumphant smile. “Call…” Who could he call? “Call Seokjin,” he finally said. As the screen changed, he waited, closing his eyes and letting the sound of the ringing fill his head. It took four agonizing rings before Jungkook heard the sound of someone answering.

“Hello?”

Jungkook’s face crumpled at the sound of the familiar voice and he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“Hello?” Jin’s voice echoed again. “Jungkook-ah?”

Jungkook sucked in as deep of a breath as he could. “Hyung?” he cracked.

“Jungkook-ah? Do you know what time it is? Are you okay?”

Jungkook opened his mouth to respond but instead, a sob pushed its way out.

“Jungkook? What happened? What’s wrong?” The older boy’s voice rose with panic.

“I tried, hyung” he whispered letting his cheek fall to the pavement. He squeezed his eyes shut as another cry tumbled out. “I failed. I failed Jimin…”

“You what? Jungkook, where are you? What happened?”

“I failed Yoongi-hyung…”

On the other end of the line, Jungkook could hear faint rustling sounds as Jin got out of bed and started fumbling around in his room. “Just stay on the line with me. Where are you?”

Jungkook took in a wheezing breath as his surroundings began to fade. He tried to keep his eyes focused on the glowing screen of his phone where it lay close to his head. He couldn’t feel his body anymore. He couldn’t feel the cold air, or the rumbling pavement. He couldn’t hear the sirens in the distance or the fact that they were growing closer.

“Just tell the guys I love them. Tell them I’m sorry,” he whispered as the tears slipped past his eyelashes and slid down his cheek.

“Jungkook, stop,” Jin cracked. “Don’t talk like that. Just tell me where you are.”

Jungkook tried to open his mouth again, tried to draw in another breath but he was too tired. Too far gone. Instead, he closed his eyes, listening to Jin go on, his voice distorting as he yelled into the receiver. At least he wasn’t alone anymore.

28 notes · View notes

bigbrothernetflix-st · 4 years

Text

EPISODE TEN

“One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me.” - jev

HOH: Brianna NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Nathan FINAL NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki EVICTED: Kiki (4-0)

JEV

I feel this could be the end for me this week, considering I named Brianna as renom last week and she has nominated me previously it's not looking good for me. However, last week after naming her renom, I did send her screenshots from Nathan of him throwing her and Aria under the bus to me just incase she stayed, so I purposefully threw him under the bus for this exact reason and I'm just hoping the move will pay off and there's even a slight chance she'll nominate him and keep me off the block. I'm also hoping she'll recognise that I didn't consider her as one of my initial noms and only named her as replacement because I was put into a shitty predicament last week by Nathan and his veto win, but who knows. I'm extremely proud of the game I've played but it'd suck to leave at F7 after getting this far.

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/z8bOEMq9gh8

ARIA

So....its been a bit huh,...sorry about that yall pls just take this anaylsis of everyone left k thanks <3

NATHAN

Looking at the whole of his game this man has been targeted since prejury yet his social connections and physical prowess has kept him safe this long- typically this would lend itself to a very strong underdog story but at the same time his attitude this game has been very rocky as he's threatened to quit or just give up multiple times before which may decrease the amount of respect the jury has for him. At this moment in time he can be categorized as a big player due to his numerous fights which could gain jury respect because it does show that he wants to play but im unsure if its enough. In terms of social connections he presents himself as having limited connections with others as he doesnt talk with kiki or jev but has a mutual understanding between him and joshua as they are both big threats/targets leading them to want to keep each other safe. This does bring up complications when trying to eliminate joshua from this game but thats for another analysis. He's constantly threatened the status quo of the house and if it wasn't for his attitude (and maybe the lack of connections to people like kiki and jev) he could be a shoe-in to win. It should also be considered that he has constant correspondence with emma and somewhat of a connections with bri. It should also be highlighted that hes very good at mending bridges considering hes working with someone he previously attempted to nominate (brianna) and had a fight with (joshua) Honestly he's playing a great game and the bitterness visible from kiki/jev does not reflect the jury- its more likely that he can beat me at the end.

Leaving: f3/4/

Threat: Big/Physical

Winning Chance: 4/5

KIKI

So most players still left in the game perceive kiki to just be coasting along and honestly their win chances are minimal. I think their social game has been slacking as well as they're typically very hesitant to be honest with their game thoughts so they've failed to secure the connections that they need to get them to the end of this game. Their view on the game is also very confusing as they pretended to not know sides to me and no matter what the truth was it was a very bad look on their part. Also on a more personal note they showed that they're willing to snap as seen yesterday in bri's dms and in the live competition channel. In terms of this vote I have hardly any connection to them and if they won hoh next week i know that i would not be safe unlike jev who i've formed a more honest relationship with. I am slightly worried that im taking out someone with no win chance but my first priority will always be house dynamics and to appease the bb gods, they need to leave.

Leaving: f7

Threat: None, likeability

Winning chance: 1/5

JOSHUA

Literally just hand the kid the winning title and pots at this point his control over the game is incredible. He has deals and connections with EVERY single person in this game and I truly feel like he can make the end if we dont take him out here but I can't control nathan at this point. I think he's formed connections to me and nathan through all of us being "big threats" while he has connections to Jev/Emma/Kiki as they were all on the original side and he's somehow escaped the block on someones hoh who he previously put up...this guy is unstoppable wtf. However the entire game IS aware of his skill and its very likely that he gets taken out soon because of this unless he goes on a comp run. I also find it very likely that the jury is rooting for him as he remained respectful with every evictee and had justifications for every eviction beyond just house dynamics and his game has been straighforward with his noms and bold with his connections. Im unsure of how exactly to get rid of him but I believe he thinks we're close (f2 tingz) and I find it unlikely he takes me out although i think hes notices that ive been a bit more closed off this week which is worrying for future endeavors.

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Big/Phyiscal/Social

Winning Chance: 5/5!!!!

JEV

Out of everyone left I find it very difficult to think of how Jev is playing, I think he's either playing the most straight forward game I've ever seen or his game has a lot of hidden depths. I mean how I view his game as another player is that he came into this game very unconnected but managed to wiggle his way into stable sides and form good connections where they've kept him safe when possible. Once he gained a side he stuck to it and just played an overall loyal game minus the yelling at nathan when he lied to him. I dont think the jury is very bitter at him but I also don't believe that they're super high on him in comparison to people like joshua. In terms of our own connection I think I might be higher on his trust list due to me being very proactive about using veto on him and voting to keep him- i dont think ill be in danger if he wins hoh but nathan sure will :nicolequeen: There is a chance he can beat me at the end just due to not fucking over all of the jury but the chance we make f2 is very small, he represents the utr social player that joshua might be scared of winning

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Balance/Middle

Winning Chance: 4/5

EMMA

Emma's game is very interesting because its similar to kiki in the fact that she's been coasting or just sticking to her side but she's aware of her flawed gameplay and wants to do better and make moves. However the end is closing end and I doubt she has the time to really make a move although she has been very smart about how she presents herself to others this entire game showing high sense of strategy. I think we're fairly close in a personal and game sense (unless shes just buttering me up for the slaughter as her own big move) so I would love to take her very far in this game. Im unsure of how the jury view her at this point in time but i cant imagine it being very high at this time unless shes manipulating things behind the scenes. At the end shes probably one of the only people I can beat because the jury might want a "big" player to win so she's def an ideal f2 choice at THIS time.

Leaving: f3/f2

Threat: Strategic

Winning Chance: 2/5

BRIANNA

First off I love her so much personally she's seriously the kindest person I've met and i absolutely adore her but also her game has been fairly impressive so far. Her actions have been the catalyst for sides to form and big moves being made- however i can say that I had a hand in a series of these moves but received no blowback (or recognition) for them yet and I'm unsure how the jury will view us as a duo or who can lay claim to the moves made. I think some of the jury may be bitter such as Josh c and Nick but at the same time she'll have fans such as joey and jacob so its a very mixed bad and I think we'll be trying for the same votes which is worrying. She's also fairly good at comps and socializing putting her on a similar stage as nathan and joshua although for some reason she never gets the credit :/ Im unsure whether I want her at the end or not but there is a possibility ill cut her...

Leaving: ???

Threat: Social/Comp

Winning: ???

And i think i dont stand a chance tbh, my jury management has been ass but im gonna do my best <3 also sorry if this was mean fsabhfds

JEV

So Brianna has let me know that she is more than likely going to put me up as one of her initial nominees, meaning I've had to plead my case to her and severely downplay my game thus far in the hopes that she'll hear me out and by some miracle will spare me from the block this week, I'll insert the plea I sent to her at the end of this DR. I just hope she realises that there are bigger fish to fry cough Nathan cough and maybe even Joshua, although I respect him as an ally too much to even consider throwing his name out to Brianna like that. Worst comes to worst I'll just have to gun super hard for veto and take myself down, then work out the play from there if one of the other hot girls are put up in my place, but I hope Brianna isn't dumb and recognises that there isn't a drop of loyalty inside of Nathan and that she'd be stupid to keep him around another week.

JEV

So I asked Joshua if he'd save me if he won the veto, and he straight up said he'd use it on Kiki because he'd "feel bad" since he used it on me the last time me and Kiki were on the block together. It's made me feel kinda shitty because it's kinda solidifying to me that he considers me at least 3rd in our alliance, and that he and Kiki are quite likely a duo together. I have to try my hardest for this veto because I for sure leave over Kiki or the renom.

JEV

So... there is a chance, albeit a slim chance, that Nathan may use the power of veto on me. I've tried to butter him up by playing up to his kind of wildcard playstyle by saying that nobody would see it coming and it'd be the gag to end all gags, but who knows what he might do. He said he's considering it and will keep me in the loop just so I know what to expect. If I stay on the block, I know I hopefully have Aria & Emma's votes to keep me on lock, which means I'd only have to convince Joshua or Nathan to keep me, OR sway Brianna to keep me in the event of a tie, which I think is the most unlikely of the 3. Prior to tonights veto, I would've thought I'd have Joshua's vote to stay, but now I think its clear that Kiki/Joshua are a duo and Me/Emma are a duo, so I don't think I'd be able to sway him to save me unfortunately. However the rest of this week plays out, I have a lot of ass kissing to do which I hate but hopefully I can work a miracle

JEV

So... considering Nathan has promised safety to me this week I didn't quite expect him to go off on me like that in his veto speech but... I'm just gonna take the high road and not even acknowledge the video in house chat, as much as it sucks I just have to let Kiki run their mouth so hopefully people remain inclined to keep them around over me.

JEV

One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me. As it stands, it should be 4-0 since all four of them have promised me their vote, but I'm lowkey suspicious about Nathan and Joshua, there's just something in the back of my mind telling me to be wary, I hope I'm just overthinking though

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29822U0WqVk&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=11&t=0s

#bbnetflix st

0 notes

pleasedotheneedful · 7 years

Note

Hi, pdtn! I hope you're doing well. Why are you re-applying to the match? Is your residency program right now really bad or is it because of other reasons? I pray you re-match into a really wonderful place this year! :)

Ehh it’s like a combination of all. And it’s kind of a complicated story. And really long... so I’ll try to condense three months worth of random posts into a response

Hindsight is 20/20 but I should have gone all Med/Peds in the first place. Most people feel extremely fortunate to have gotten their top choice, but I had a big chip on my shoulder because I knew I was competitive for another field and could have done it had I ranked my list accordingly. But I picked the program because it sold a close-knit, supportive learning environment so I figured it was worth the sacrifice if it meant my fiancee and I could match in the same hospital.

Three weeks into my first month we had a classic transitional care patient, mid-20s with type 1 neurofibromatosis and severe developmental disabilities. He was overflow from the PICU and I fought like hell for him that week, from his pneumonia to advocating for his care when it was time to transfer him out. That’s when I really started to regret doing categorical IM.

Around the same time, I had been quietly pushing my program over our lack of an ACGME-compliant contract. It stemmed from unclarity on leave for interns that took way too long to get confirmation on. The responses I got were surprisingly vague, since I assumed I was just missing something obvious. After two months I was directed to a blurb in our resident manual–after speaking with everyone including the PD. I was irate about the leave confusion since I was trying to plan a wedding.

But I decided to let it go as I started getting feedback about my performance. This feedback was also vague, things like “do you think you’re ready to run the ICU next year?” and “we don’t think you’re meeting expectations.” All things I internalized and tried to link to minor things I had done, instead of questioning the specificity of the feedback while I was receiving it.

I worked diligently to stay on top of it but the feedback continued–and it wasn’t just that it was negative feedback, it’s that it was escalating and towards the end I was told I was being placed on remediation… for reasons still unclear to me today. I started having nervous, sobbing breakdowns at home and my performance actually DID start to degrade as I was no longer able to study outside of work.

What compounded everything was that my fiancee’s ability to match her was becoming increasingly unlikely, which was additionally distressing for both of us. Things came to a head when I had spent four hours crying to her on the phone and she suggested I get a psych eval. I actually felt a sense of relief that maybe whatever was happening was a real problem that needed to be addressed, beyond the “intern year is hard” trope.

One of the other interns came over and we ranted at each other until I felt better, but when I called in to ask for a couple of shifts off I spilled the beans to one of my chiefs. They ended up having me come into the ED, which was super fucking awkward since I had just spent a month working in that exact ED. But the psych resident cleared me, and I went to speak with leadership the following business day.

The first thing, the FIRST thing they tell me at this meeting, is that my remediation is being made formal. I’m internally livid. How do you see patients all day every day for decades and not have any fucking sense about how to approach your own resident after a sensitive situation? It’s so obtuse.

I went on unofficial leave of absence, during which I met with my leadership staff multiple times to discuss my plans. I had no idea what those were but I knew the current trajectory was untenable. I worked my fucking ass off to right the ship and I still had no idea what I was doing wrong. I started to look around, talk to people here and at other programs to see what was going on. What I unearthed was a chronic underlying problem, where rumors were allowed to circulate unless you stopped them where it started. Where ducking your head down and saying “yes, sir/ma'am” wouldn’t necessarily save you. Where maintaining a good mood might work against you. Where the only thing that MIGHT save you is if you’re so good at your job there’s not a single hole in your work. Well, I’m an intern. And far from a perfect one. If I was that good at my job I wouldn’t need to go through a three-year residency.

I realized these were the makings of a malignant program. Malignancy isn’t just people yelling at you all the time and humiliating you on the spot. It’s any combination of attitudes and circumstances that allow their interns and residents to be swallowed up.

Here, people yell at you seldomly. The overt abuse is minimal. What you get is a program that perpetuates rumors rather than dispel them, where the abuse is just subtle enough to make you think you’re definitely the problem. The gaslighting is unreal. It wasn’t until I started talking to/watching other residents that I understood the problem is systematic and goes beyond me. I sniffed out that this was all bullshit when I asked to have the details of my remediation presented to me so I could work on it while I was on leave... I got vague lipservice and a promise of something in my e-mail that has yet to arrive.

So I did some research and decided to put in my ERAS application again. I mean, I believe there are tons of programs like this. But if you’re going to try to drive me into the ground for unknown reasons, I would at least like to be in my field of choice and a helluva lot closer to my family so I can handle it better. I’m still enrolled in my program but my medical leave ends in December so I’m not sure if/when I will resign.

At best, the program is poor at communicating feedback and allowed things to spiral out of control. At worst, I’m suffering blowback as a “troublemaker” for bringing up contractual issues. Hard to tell. Like I said, there were things outside of the program that were hard to deal with but this nonsensical feedback inside the program served as a nucleus for all of those things to destroy me.

This might be a blessing in disguise though, as being able to couples match with my fiancee in my chosen field would be incredible! I’m really excited and surprised at how things are going. I’ll miss living on this island (I went ocean kayaking for like 2 hours today) and I’ll definitely miss my co-residents who have been incredibly supportive and validating of my concerns. I’ll give this program credit, they know how to recruit great people. I’ll miss my patients, too. I’ve just barely gotten to know my patient panel and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know them.

Anyway, I’m rambling. I appreciate the well wishes! I hope by next July I’ll be enjoying my new lease on life and writing about patient experiences/hospital life instead of political bullshit. On the upside, I’ve gotten a lot of positive lessons out of this negative experience.

#pdtn re-does intern year #qa #Anonymous

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simplybennnnett · 4 years

Text

hi I am here to rant about how much I HATE that mack kept fitz's death from deke

so let's depict this line by line... starting from his conversation with daisy

~~~

Daisy: What have you been told?

Deke: Well, Mack was pretty cagey on the details-

~~~

deke has been gone for a while (being amazing)

so here's what we know:

he just found out everyone went to space

he probably thinks they went just cuz

mack told him about it

mack did not say anything about fitz in that moment

mack is the biggest jerk on the planet

no the universe

mack literally had a chance to tell deke. who cares if he left then, he's back now, he's here, just let him know where is only 2 family members are. it's literally not hard to say:

"hey, jemma and daisy went to space to go get fitz, because fitz didn't make it through the battle but there is another fitz in space and he is perfectly fine"

that's literally one of the easiest ways to say it

~~~

Mack and May are talking about something, Deke walks in:

Deke: Why didn't you tell me!?

Mack: *sighs* Might want to give us a minute.

May: *rolls her eyes* Gladly.

~~~

THIS!

mack was waiting for this conversation to happen

he knew eventually deke would find out and he just... didn't say anything?

please someone point out the logic

and don't say "it was just too hard for mack to talk about"

cause no.

it wasnt.

he has no problem talking about it now

and then there's may

deke walks into the room and sound so unlike deke

he's clearly mad

distressed

upset

you can hear it in his voice

this isn't deke coming to bother someone, this is deke legitimately looking for an answer. even if you don't know his question you can hear how serious he is. but may rolls her eyes and uuuggghhh her reaction just makes me so angry!

it's not hard to tell when someone is upset, I really don't understand why people cant get out of their pretty little heads to see that maybe they are not the only ones who have some problems

can you tell I'm sensitive on this subject???

~~~

Deke: Fitz died. He died, and no one was gonna bother to, I don't know, send me a text?

Mack: It was complicated-

Deke: Yeah, no kidding.

~~~

okay but it wasnt.

you know what is complicated:

fighting aliens

finding out you are an alien

losing a limb

losing TWO limbs

robots who are too human

time travel

time travel to the end of the world

THE END OF THE WORLD

things that aren't complicated:

texting a friend to tell him one of HIS ONLY FAMILY MEMBERS has died BUT it's okay because they have a way to get him back

it's not complicated. mack just didn't tell him. period.

~~~

Deke: Besides the fact that this completely proves my entire multi-verse theory 'cause I'm still here,

~~~

he was scared

deke was legitimately scared of what would happen if the time line changed

he probably spent all the time he was gone wondering if one day he would *poof* out of existance

he was scared

and he wouldn't have had to been if SOMEONE would have told him

~~~

Deke: -there's a second Fitz! And-and you sent a team out to find him, and you didn't tell me that either?! That's not complicated. That just sucks!

~~~

and he's right!

it does suck.

it would have taken mack 20 seconds tops to text him and that is the literal least he could have done

he should have said something

~~~

Mack: It was the call made at the time.

Deke: Well, maybe you shouldn't be making the calls because that was bad one.

~~~

okay I have like 3 things that I need to point out now:

1. mack made the call

mack made the call not to tell deke. maybe he consulted jemma, but honestly, I doubt it. jemma is such a family person she probably wasn't even thinking about anyone else but fitz at that point AND she probably assumed someone would tell deke maybe like *cough* the director who shouldn't be director *cough*

which leads me to the next point

2. he really shouldn't be making the calls

this is more toward the writers than it is toward mack

daisy should have been director. she has been loyal to shield and coulson longer than mack. she was there through the hydra problem, the alien problem, the outer space problem, the robot problem, and the time travel problem and she was closest to coulson right behind may. if not daisy then it should have been may. it should not have been mack. it just should not have been.

3. mack cannot come up with a justifiable reason as to why he didn't tell deke

OKAY AND NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE

he can't.

he doesn't tell him why he made the call he just says he does. deke had a right to know and mack didn't tell him and he had no reason to keep that from him. there was no reason.

~~~

Mack: It looked like you had other priorities besides being apart of this team.

Deke: Oh, this team? You mean the team that I helped bring back from the dystopian future?

Mack: Yeah, you did that. Then you left.

~~~

This makes me so mad.

I have to admit I had to read a Wikipedia article to remember the deke's story but even before I did that, I know that he did not grow up with a good childhood. he lived in a place where people killed each other for food. he lived in a terrible place with no trees no sky no nothing. he lived in the freaking middle of space. he lives in a place with blue aliens that constantly tried to kill them.

and then he comes to earth

and there's trees, and there's a sky, and there's everything.

people aren't always trying to kill him there's food everywhere, he finally has it all.

there's just one thing looming over his head

if the timeline changes, will he stay on Earth?

I don't know about you but if that question was on my mind constantly, you bet everything you own that I am out doing the most that I can before I spontaneously disappear.

deke had every right to leave.

he had every right to go live his life, to go build a company, to go see the world, to go experience things. he had every right.

and even then. Even if he didn't have the right to leave, mack still had no right to NOT tell deke.

deke was still a family member to fitz, he was related to him. that gives him a right to know!

anyway mack is a jerk lets move on...

~~~

Deke: I would have gone on the mission to help you find him.

Mack: I believe you.

~~~

you can tell he doesnt

he doesnt believe him. at this point he is doing anything he can to deflect the conversation away from him.

mack probably just forgot to tell deke, but instead of just owning up to that mistake, he is creating excuses and deflecting the conversation away from his own mistake by guilting deke and telling him lies.

he will do or say anything to get deke away and to have him stop pointing out his own mistakes

~~~

Mack: And if we get things settled here on the home front, you'll get your chance. 'Cause I'm gonna pour every resource we have into getting back out there and bringing them home.

~~~

if deke hadn't found out, I doubt mack would have given him this chance. he probably would have continued on life without him. mack does not believe the deke is capable of anything good. He's just saying this to make deke happy and to make him content.

~~~

Deke: *nods*

Mack: But... until then, I need someone smart enough to fill their shoes.

~~~

if you watch the scene closely, right before mack says this he kind of looks around, like he's trying to find something to give deke.

he wants deke off his back.

a part of me thinks that mack thinks the deke is a joke. I don't think deke could do anything to earn mack respect at this point.

~~~

Mack: Maybe you can put that google-sized brain of your to work and help crack this tech.

Deke: What, you tryin' to flatter me?

Mack: Absolutely

Deke: Well... totally worked.

~~~

and if he wasn't trying to flatter de ak, and deek didn't take it so lightly, I would think that Max was making fun of him. sorry. maybe this is a stretch. but this is what I got from this scene.

also maybe put this into perspective.

deke lived in a dystopian world where he had to steal things to be able to eat. The chances of survival were low and nobody liked him. everyone thought of him as a traitor but he was really just doing what he could to survive. I think that he would give anything for someone to tell him that he is doing something good.

I don't even live on an alien planet and I strive for people to tell me that I'm doing something good.

deke is not self-centered.

immature? yes.

naive? Yes.

but self-centered? no.

He's just looking for validation and acceptance. and nobody on this stupid team is giving it to him.

except for jemma

but she's in space so.

no wonder he builds such a big company with a good atmosphere. it's what he wants. it's the environment he wants.

~~~

so basically what im trying to say is mack is a jerk and i hate him... thanks bye ;)

#agentsofs #i used to really like him but now i really hate him #all because he was mean to deke #well i mean before that but this really sealed the deal...

0 notes

clatterbane · 7 years

Text

Further health update: Mr. C seemed almost back to normal today. Granted, he doesn’t have as many other things going on to add complications, but I keep getting impressed at how he throws bugs off. Today he went out shopping, and acted like he was feeling fine. Tomorrow he’s planning to head out to Cambridge for gaming. Hoping that will still look reasonable in the morning; more on that later.

I’ve still been feeling kind of rough, but I’ve been doing much better at staying awake and today I’m back to eating/drinking more or less normally. Which is a relief. Yesterday things improved enough that I started getting ravenous last night, and ended up pretty much throwing caution to the wind. Figured my body was yelling “FEED ME!” for a reason.

That turned out fine, though, and there has only been a little lingering nausea today which hasn’t even been that distracting. This crud still has me snotty and sneezy enough that wheezy decided to really join the party this evening. Because any kind of virus wouldn’t be complete without an asthma flare–maybe especially when you’re not quite over the last one yet. Still a significant improvement overall.

One other development is definitely not, however. This has been a weird virus experience with the combination of symptoms anyway, but it had one more trick waiting (or hopefully just one :/): further digestive problems on a time delay! And violent ones. Just when you thought you were safe from more symptoms, it’s time to start running to the bathroom! 😱

Worse than some of the times I’ve been glutened, and that’s saying something. But, at least unlike with celiac episodes, Imodium stops the worst of it. For a while. (Another reason I’m 99% sure it isn’t from that. Besides the fact that I ate very little–and nothing new–within the time window for that reaction.)

That’s a slight concern right now, even though I did ask Mr. C to pick up some Imodium while he was out. (Which autocorrect keeps wanting to turn into “I’m opium”, which yeah I can only wish.) But, the off the shelf package size here is so small that it’s 3 doses max, usually 2 doses IME. 6 capsules/tablets, when most other medications have a limit of 16. Really not sure what they were thinking there. 16 is ridiculous enough a limit, to protect people from themselves. Another thing that I should probably go ahead and order a (grey market) regular sized bottle of, which I haven’t remembered to do yet as rarely as I need the stuff. Thankfully.

I did have a couple Imodium left from the last tiny box, so 8 capsules total. And it took 4 of those to get the bout stopped initially, which is not unusual. Leaving 4. So, of course I needed another dose as soon as the first started wearing off–and then I got distracted by a Tesco grocery delivery and then supper proceedings until after the corner shop closed :-| At least they do have some, which has come in really handy before when I was wary of venturing out farther afield in search of something like that.

So, there’s one more (small, 2 capsule) dose left until morning, when if necessary I can pop down to the corner shop for more. Or send him if he hasn’t left for gaming yet by the time that opens–assuming he isn’t facing a skitters time bomb on a similar delay himself.

Certainly hoping not, but if so? We can only hope it does become obvious before he gets out of the house and onto a train 😨 Also hoping this won’t last very long either, but we’ll have to wait and see with all of that.

#personal #health stuff #virus #little shop of horrors #in more ways than one #hahaha #oh my #diarrhea mention #food mention #drugs mention

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weannoyingbouquetgalaxy-blog1 · 6 years

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Chambers Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 86502

Home Owners Insurance?

My wife and I are planning on buying our first home and are currently shopping for mortgages. As a first time home buyer I am a little bit confused about a few things and I thought I just ask here :) One of the mortgages we looked at (online, from our CU) listed a Hazard Insurance Monthly in the Prepaids & Reserves section (which is part of the closing cost). - I am aware of the need of Homeowners Insurance, but does that include or exclude Hazard Insurance? - The monthly rate for Hazard Insurance was listed as $1,900. That seemed extremely high to me, so my question is: What is an average amount for Hazard Insurance (or Homeowners Insurance in general)? FYI: The home we are looking at is located in the SF Bay Area and will have a value of approx. $700,000. Any comment will be appreciated...""

Does Pass Plus reduce the insurance rate if the young driver with it is the second driver?

I'm 17 and want to get a second hand car but the insurance is too high. I plan to get the car, put it in my dad's name and then drive it myself. Will that reduce insurance premiums?""

Is pregnancy considered a pre-existing condition in florida?

IM PREGNANT!!!! I am 7 weeks along and just found out! The problem is I start a new job next week and will not be eligible for insurance until after 90 days.. By then I will be over four months along and I'm not quite sure if they will accept me or if they will say that it is a pre-existing condition? So, my dilemma is either: pay out of pocket until my 90 days are up and hope they accept me OR apply for medicaid and use the health department? If it changes anything the insurance I would be applying for is Florida Hospital private owned insurance.""

HELP help help! Prego and no insurance

ok i applied for insurance (blue cross blue shield) right when i found out i was prego (I am 3 months now.)I told the salesman i was prego. He said he will get my cards out to me asap. 3 months passed and i was waiting for my cards. Then i spoke with some1 else i told them i need my cards cause im prego they said OH NO u can not apply while bein prego. Soo they denied me. WHAT DO I DO!! Medicaid wont accept me. Can i call another insurance company dont tell them im pregnant and when i get my insurance cards act like i just became pregnant. Please some1 help. I dont no what to do. SORRY FOR WRITING SO MUCH. THANKS!!! =)

Okay insurance rates on a 2009 challenger rt for a 20 year old male.. how much?

I know its not practical or anything but im just curious what they would be. And maybe any other financial information on the subject. Please no lectures about how I shouldn't have one.

Where can a 17 years old female find the cheapest car insurance?

ok, so I am turning 17 in march, and I am looking at car insurance. I am getting my sisters old citroen saxo which is a 1.0 engine size 3 door car, very much like a ford fiesta. I was looking at insurance a few months back, and it was around 1,800, which I was prepared to pay. However, looking now, its around 4000!! what is going on!?!? I have saved up around 1000, but this is ridiculous! I was hoping to be able to buy my own insurance policy rather than go on my parents, as I'd like to be able to take my car away with me to uni next year! Does anyone know how I can get cheap car insurance?? I have tried apllying for third party only, with minimum annual mileage, etc... before you ask. Thank you!""

How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old guy?

i live in the chicago suburbs and wanted to know how much car insurance would cost if i got a car, either something like a ford probe or eagle talon in the 93-97 year range(definetly a 2 door car though). i don't know either to open it on my own or ad onto my parents. i know that adding on to my parents would be cheaper but they don't exactly want to add another car at the moment but im ready to get my own car, so how much would it cost to open my own policy? i honestly know little to none about car insurance so please help. Also, don't tell me to just wait till my parents are ready please cause thats not the question i just want some prices for the insurance please. thanks!""

What would happen with my insurance company?

I hit a car 10 months ago. The guy said I didn't have to pay for it because he said the car was a piece of crap. So no reports were filed or anything. 1 month after the accident, he wants the car fixed. What would happen if I called my insurance and told them this? Would my rates rise? Would I pay extra fees? Would my insurance still cover it? I live in California and have Farmers and I am under 18""

Who's insurance covers a hit and run driver in California?

My girlfriends car was hit by a hit and run driver in the state of California. The driver of the vehicle that hit her bailed from their car and fled the scene of the accident. The vehicle was not reported stolen however we are not sure at this time who was actually driving the vehicle. When the police arrived on scene they did retrieve the insurance information from the vehicle. My question is whos insurance covers this accident? will it be claimed against our uninsured motorist on our policy? though I know that uninsured motorist does not cover vehicular damage when the driver has not been positivley I.D'ed OR does the vehicle owners uninsured motorist coverage hit us as they are liable for damages caused by their vehicle? I'm really not exactly sure of how any of this works so any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

What is the average auto insurance cost for young drivers?

I know there are many variables, but I really want general monthly cost for young drivers please""

Life insurance - can policy owner change % allocation after death of insured?

My sister has a policy with NY Life where she is the policy owner.. AND is 50% beneficiary with me. My mothe passed away 2 weeks ago.. however my sister tried calling NY Life to change the % to her benefit, 70/30. Bottom line my sister is cheating me out the insurance money. Can this be done post death? I've always thought once insured has died changes can NOT be made. I may be wrong..... Any comments or suggestions?""

How long does it take insurance companies to create your insurance?

My father just bought a mercedez sl 500 convertible. Its a 2000. We got it on saturday. Call the insurance to transfer myself onto the car on monday. todays wednesday and still no word. How long will it take for them to rate the car and post me on the insurance?

""Insurance price for dui, speeding and driving w/o license?

big predicament i got myself into... now i would like an estimate if u know how much insurance would be with these convictions. my previous premium for my 2006 car was approx. 800 for 6 months... thats with clean record... now how much u think it would be now? if im going to do this legitimate i know im gonna have to pay an arm and 2 legs...crap.. any suggestions at all would be very helpful...

""Looking for a fast, reliable, good quality and low insurance group hatchback.?""

I'm 24 and at the moment have a fairly low Saxo VTR with a couple of other performance mods, it handles like a dream on nice roads and has good acceleration. It's starting to fall apart with things going wrong left, right and centre, due to French engineering I presume? I have a DR10 on my licence from 4-5 years ago, so my insurance is a bit pricey. I just paid for a year so I can swap it straight over. I'm looking for something as fun to drive as standard and NOT French. Thanks Oh and please spare me the lectures, speed is for safe overtaking and I'm not driving too fast, you're driving too slow!""

What if I upgrade my car insurance because someone threatens to mess up my car?

An old roommate stole a lot from me the day he moved out. I've been waiting 5 days for the police to take the report (they're busy according to them). In the mean time I contacted him telling him to return my stuff or I'll involve the police, and he said if I do that he's going to f*ck up my car. Right now I have basic insurance but after he told me that I want to upgrade my insurance just in case. My question is what happens if I upgrade and he does mess up my car? If I file a police report about the threat can my car insurance deny the claim? What if the police are still too busy and he does this before I get to file a report? What should I do? I already started parking 2 blocks from my apartment.""

Why is my car insurance so high?! Im 18 yr old female...! :(?

no accidenets, good student, 2003 jetta GLS 1.8 Turbo...10/20 bodily injury...compr and coll both $500 deductible.... I'm paying about 284 right now and its ridiculous :(""

Can you ask a car insurance company to lower your rate/payment?

If so, how would I go about that? I know that many companies have loyalty/continuous coverage discounts, but the discount for my current insurance really isn't enough, and my payment (I make a full, 6-month payment) goes up every time. Should I ask for a specific amount/percentage? Should I ask them to keep the cost the same as 6 months ago, etc? Thanks for any advice. **I've been with the company for over a year.""

What car insurance do you have?

Im trying to find one that's cheaper I recently have 21st Century. What's the name of your car insurance and do you like it?

""If I am added as an added driver to a car, how much will the insurance be? Please see details:?""

If my parents were to get a mini 2004 for example, and they both have no claims and no license points, (so their insurance is about 350 each) how much would it cost to add me (a new driver aged 17) to their car. If one of parents was to be insured, and I was added as a named driver I mean. Roughly speaking. And yes, it would be a new car that my parents hadn't driven before. I am the UK by the way, so I am talking about not $. Thank you for all contributions!""

Does car insurance cover for shattered side window?

My car got vandalized this morning and someone broke my backside window. (Not the big one but the small triangular window that does not slide down. Will my insurance company cover for the damage or do I have to pay out of my pocket? How much will it cost for that tiny window?

Can I be insured on my mums car insurance if I don't live with her?

Hi I moved out 3 months ago and I have been put on my mums insurance while I have my provisional licence I will be getting my own car soon and i was wondering if I can still be on her insurance if I still won't be living there ? Thanks Billie x

Best insurance companies for 17 year old passed my test?

ok ive pased my test and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance all you 17 year old have and who is it with, please :)""

Buying car insurance for the first time. HELP!!!?

Next week I can get my licens, and I already have a car so the only thing left would be car insurance. I asked my mom, who is making me pay for it, how much it would be to be put on her insurance. She said $108 a month!!! I know that I will not be able to afford that. I have enough money right now for about 14 months and that is it. I already have a job, but all the money I make goes toward tuition for private school(long story). Can I have my own isurance plan? Do I have to be under a parent? what are my options? Please help. I have until newt Friday to figure it out.""

Auto insurance renewal?

Hello all, My current auto insurance is ending next month and the renewal form just came in. Coincidently, I was offered a better deal from another auto insurance that was less than half of what I currently am paying. I called and check and it was the same coverage. My question is that do I need to let them know that I will not renew my current auto insurance with them? This is my first time planning on switching and I would like to know if there is any penalties or anything in general I should worry about.""

""What if i don't have a social security number, can i still buy car insurance?""

I am an illegal alien here in chicago, illinois but i have a car that i drive to and from indiana (about a 40 minute drive). I want to purchase car insurance but i do not know if i can. what do i need to buy insurance in illinois. do you know if i can purchase it online or which insurance company would sell me an insurance policy? please help as soon as possible.""

Chambers Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 86502

How much will car insurance be?

Im 17 and im 18 in september and i have a renaut Clio Grande year 2000 X reg, 1.2 litres. Ive got quotes off of compare sites for 4000 a year yet i feel this is ridiculous? I have heard of friends getting it for 2000ish. Where do i find or get these cheaper insurance deals? Will it go down at 18?""

Help! which is cheaper of 2 cars on insurance?

which has cheaper insurance? 1. Mazda 3 touring hatchback 2009 (median level trim and automatic) 2. Volvo C30 T5 hatchback (base trim and automatic) ??? which one??? cuz my dad is worrying about the insurance for me. im 19 and going be 20 soon!

Unemployed 18 to 25 year olds forced to have health insurance under Obamas plan?

if you where laid off, then your ok. But if you quit your last job you will be required by law to keep health insurance or be fined $2700/yr. And by the way thats $225/mo. for the ...show more""

How much would it be to insure a 17 year old on a Ford Fiesta Zetec 1.25L?

I have always liked the Ford Fiesta's and i turn 17 in october, its unlikely i will be driving till next year! i was just wondering an insurance estimate on, say, an 06 plate? 3Doors Hatchback 1.25L I know it will be fairly expensive! If a company were to insure me. Would just like an average quote please! don't want answers with 'depends on this, this or this'.. Thanks very much!""

Need to find affordable health insurance?

My health insurance just went up again. I live in New York any places i can check out? It will be greatly appreciated

Is there a way to decrease my Car insurance coverage?

i recently just bought a 2004 jaguar x-type for 12,800 with warranty included.payments is 250 a month.but car insurance is 480 a month! is there something is there a way of avoiding paying that much pay that much in car insurance..im 21 and i would like to no if i really need my car to be fully covered or can i just put the car in under there coverage. Plus i don't have the best driving record.""

Insurance for newborn?

I am on my stepfather's insurance through bluecross/blueshield. I am about to have a baby and she can't be covered on this insurance. would i have to lose my insurance and get medicaid and us be on it together or can i just get medicaid for her and keep my insurance? and what if it isn't all resolved when she is born, will she be able to see a doctor?""

Car insurance on a pergeout 307 new driver? UK ONLY.?

i turned 17 in march.i have yet to pass my test but wish to look at quotes for insurance. its a 5 door 1.6 and 5 doors. who knows a cheap car insurance site for me and with prefernce to someone you know having it from there? before you say i have tried comparison sites and they are no use.

Cheap florida health insurance?

my wife and i want to have a child but cannot afford to pay for the complete doctors visit and all.. we do not qualify for medicaid what insurance that is affordable can we use?

How do i fight GAP insurance?

hello.... so i purchased a vehicle in 2006..... didn't like it too much so i took it back to dealership and traded it for a different vehicle and bought full warranty on it. dealership said the warranty was good for 50000 miles or 4 years. the vehicle was totaled just recently and i owed about 7500 dollars on it. my insurance paid 6100 dollars for it and i was thinking ok no problem the gap will cover the rest , but the gap insurance is only paying 212 dollars on it. they said there was some left over loan on my old car which they will not cover... i don't know much this insurance crap but its really breaking my balls that i will have to paying almost a 1000 dollars out of my own pocket. is there any i can fight gap insurance and have them pay the entire left over loan??""

How much would my insurance rate differ if i bought a car with cash or financed?

I am 16 years old and the quote i received for buying the car in cash was about 1200 a year. how much more would my insurance be if i financed ?

How much can you borrow from your whole life insurance?

I know it doesnt have any cash value until about 3-5 years and that you cant borrow the face value of the policy. If i took out a 50,000 policy on my daughter , in about 5 yrs what could I borrow from it if the premium is 30/month? What % of 50,000 could I take out? i dont want to hear anything about kids dont need life insurance. I am taking one out on myself as well anyways. I need exact figures not guesses.""

Liability insurance price for honda civic 2006?

how much is the average liability insurance cost for honda civic 2006 4 door and 32 year married driver with 100% clean driver's history?

""Does the Pass Plus, bring your car insurance down, if so how much?""

my daughter has just passed her driving test and is now looking to buy her 1st car, so will the pass plus bring the insurance down""

Which is the best insurance company in Kenya?

Can you stay under your parents car insurance?

As of right now I am a college student living in Ohio with my mother and my car is under my mothers car insurance. If I move out and no longer live under my mothers roof, does this mean I must pay for my own car insurance? Or am I able to stay under her name? Please help! I need to find out soon before I get my own place. Thank you so much.""

Cheap auto insurance in Austin?

I just got my first car and I am looking for auto insurance for the first time. Which companies offer the best rates? My car is 1988 mazda

Will I be dropped by my insurance due to suspension of license?

I recently had my California license suspended due to a failure to appear in court (yes I'm an idiot). Will my insurance drop me because of this? I am still paying my car off as well. If my insurance drops me, will that affect my car loan? Any help at all is greatly appreciated.""

How long it takes to find a car before it is considered a loss for insurance purrpose in California?

What is the search time frame for a car to be considered loss for insurance reimbursement in California? I am buying a new car and considering my insurance policy option and also thinking if I truly need a LoJack.

Can you have a separate car insurance policy for a different vehicle?

I am 18 and I am insured under my parent's policy for my main car. I'm really into cars so I wanted to buy an old Explorer or something as a throw around car to work on, but my parents would never let me put it on their insurance. I don't need collision or comprehensive, just liability insurance. Is it possible to be insured under my parent's policy for my one car and insured under a separate policy for a second car? I live in New Jersey if that makes any difference.""

Whats the cheapest auto insurance for honda civic?

I'm 19 years old, i have had a license for a year and a half. i have had one speeding incident where i was going 100 miles per hour. Other than that i have no records of bad driving. i drive a honda civic sedan. what is the cheapest car insurance i can get so i can drive again?""

Where do insurance companies get all the money?

How does an insurance company afford to pay out all that money on insurance claims?

Why is michigan car insurance so high?

I am a 21 year old female with no little credit but I have no bad credit. I rent an apartment and pay all my bills on time. I have a 2004 monte carlo ss that I paid 3500 for. This is my first car. The cheapest quote I got was 350 a month and that's only for the state minimum. I already have health insurance. They want me to pay more for car insurance than my car is worth and if I get in an accident they wont even cover it.

How much should insurance from state farm be?

im 17 and i just got my license 2 months ago. my mom was trying to get me on her insurance, not my own. state farm said that its 2000 a year but i had drivers ed so thats lowers it to 1600. shouldnt it be lower though? shouldnt it only be 1600 if i was getting my own insurance. my mom is only adding me as a driver.""

What is the Difference between a PRIMARY and SECONDARY type of driver on Insurance?

Was looking at Auto Insurance and was wondering what the difference is between being a Primary driver of a vehicle and a Secondary. Is it cheaper on insurance to be a primary if one driver has more years experience than another or does it matter at all? I gather being an occasional driver would make a difference on insurance though.

Chambers Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 86502

Annual Mortgage Insurance Premiums?

Pretty sure I know the answer to my question, but I want to run it by the pros . Doing my taxes and I'm to Form 1098. The form asks what my Annual Mortgage Insurance Premiums are. This is the additional $40 mortgage or loan insurance I pay each month, correct? The IRS is not asking for information about my Nationwide Home Owners Insurance Policy (aka: Hazard Insurance). Thanks.""

My car insurance is $200 a month!?

I'm getting my license in less than a month, but my parents won't get me a car b/c they say I won't be driving alone anyway b/c the insurance is through the roof. We have Mamzy. Would it be cheaper if we switch our insurance? It'll go down once I've had my license for 6 months, but still, half a year is a long time to have to wait. :\ Thanksx.""

How do i go about getting points taken off my license?

I have points on my license tht are due to come off 2 weeks ago how do i get them off???

How much does is cost to insure a motorcycle?

i am a 21 yr. old female in so cal. it is a ninja 250r, never been in an accident, & it is kept in the garage!""

Does drivers insurance increase if you move?

Hey, question says it all, my fiancee was told that once we move our drivers insurance rate will increase, is this true? We're living in Maine and only moved a town over, we didn't move to another state or anything like that. Anyone know? Thanks!""

When will my motorcycle insurance lower?

i live in florida im going to start riding soon probly start out on a ninja 650r but i wana move up 2 a zx14 after a while(my dream bike) but the insurance is nuts on it like 800 a month now on the 14 the 650 is like 120 with amazing insurance and 250 deductables when will my insurance drop? does it go by age or experience?

Occasional Driver Insurance.?

My had has 02 Mazda under his name as a First Driver and Insured. I got my G2 License Dec 11 and i have been using the car ever since ~ 40-100KM a week. I am not insured in any way. I got a Left-Turn Signal Ticket and the COP did not say anything. I got stooped 2 other times driving a work car not in my name and they did not say anything. Is it safe for me to drive like this. I have been told by some family member that i have to be listed as a Second Driver. Whats the benefit on this? I am 22 years old. Would it cost a lot to get Insured?

Can someone have life insurance on me without my consent?

My inlaws are crazy. No not like wacky like mean, vindictive, you wouldn't believe it crazy. My husband purchased a sport car about 4 years ago, evidentially my inlaws started a life insurance / disability policy on him. The bill for some reason gets mailed to us, but they pay it. When asked about it they said they got it incase my husband killed himself in his car. Can you take out a policy on an adult, over 18 years of age, without consent? What is this Disability income on the bill that is separate from the Level Term life??? They are not in poor financial shape, his father is a doctor and they have an oceanfront home. I have everything situated for our family's burial arrangements. Thoughts??""

Auto Insurance Licence?

how can i get a licence to sell auto insurance i live in tx

Question about auto insurance?

I'm 16 and have my license and my own truck that i am the primary driver on, but i'm also the secondary driver on my dads truck does that make my insurance cost more by being the secondary driver?""

Rover Mini insurance

Hi, im 16 years old and want to buy a rover mini pre 1997 as they have an airbag then, i wanted to know roughly how much it would cost to insure a 17/18 year old in a 1.3 litre rover mini. And im not a speed obsessed crazy teen, i would want to keep it nice and would not drive that fast anyway. Anyone know a figure?""

19 year old female just passed driving test. need cheap insurance quotes. is anyone else in the same situation?

i am a 19 year old female and have just passed my driving test. i know the insurance quotes i get are going to be expensive but does anyone know who is best to go with (cheapest) and is anyone else in the same situation? Thanks

Car Insurance for Teen?

I'm 16 years old and before my dad buys me a car, I have to have enough money in the bank for car insurance. (I've gotta pay for it.) I think I qualify for a discount since I'm, like, an A- student. Let's say... I get a 1999 Honda. Any quotes?""

Which insurance companies offer business insurance for roofers in Texas? General Liability Ins. is needed.?

My husband started a roofing company and needs help finding an insurance company for general liability.

Does an auto insurance company look at my grid when transferring insurance to a new vehicle?

Disclaimer; Please, I am not looking to have judgement passed on me as I know I made a mistake. In October 2011 I was convicted of DUI. I served my 1 year driving prohibition but left my vehicle insured because my boyfriend was driving me a lot of places. When my insurance renewed the 2 times since the conviction, my rates didn't go up but I am really not too sure why..I am a long term customer of my insurance company and I can only assume that they were made aware of the conviction in my file but maybe it auto renewed so it went un-noticed? Here is my question. If I purchase a new vehicle and transfer my existing insurance policy to it, is it highly likely that my file will be looked at more closely and my rates will sky rocket? Can the ins company retro charge me for the past 2 years in which my rates did not go up? How long until this conviction falls off my driving record and no longer warrants higher than normal insurance charges? Thank you so much.""

The best car insurance company for a young driver?

Hey guys I'm 18 and about to get my first car and I've been notified that i need a car insurance before even buying a car from a car dealership. HELP! I've heard that young driver's insurance is more expensive than experienced driver's insurance, Is there a cheap car insurance for beginning drivers?""

""How would you cover people who are denied health coverage by the insurance companies, if not a public option?""

There are many Americans who want health care, but cannot get adequate coverage because they have a pre-existing condition, can't afford it, or are denied by insurers. Maybe they are working but their company doesn't offer medical coverage for them. How do we help these people? Are they just stuck?""

Car insurance GIRL VS GUYS?

Guys get charged more for car insurance when new drivers, and from what I understand forever. In general. However, in my view girls ESPECIALLY new drivers that are girls are generally alot worse than guys as well as talk on the phone, do make up. And what not, but yet guys get charged more? How does this make any sense? Anyone else feel this way? Just thought I'd see what other people think. Not being biased or anything.""

If a car is in group 4 for insurance what does that mean? How much will it cost?

Insurance price on r32gtr?

Ok since r32 skylines a now practically legal to import to the U.S from japan i was wondering how much would insurance cost me for a 1989 nissan skyline gtr r32. These skylines will have clean clear texas titles. I live in Houston, Texas and age ...lets just say older than 25""

How much do you pay for FULL COVERAGE auto insurance?

I am trying to understand rates more and am interested in hearing what people pay for full-coverage auto insurance. How old are you, where do you live, what insurance company do you have, how much do you pay per 6 months? (Please only answer if you pay for full or maximum coverage) I currently have Allstate and pay around $300/6 mo. I am interested in hearing from CUSTOMERS what they actually pay instead of getting quotes from companies. I would like to gauge cheap/expensive.""

What type of insurance i need for a driving test does it have to be a full coverage?

do i need to bring a vehicle with full coverage insurance or could my car that only has a cheap insurance plan work for the DMV's driving test

How much would insurance cost?

I am a 16 year old female who just got my license in January. I get good grades, but just a few days ago rear-ended the car in front of me. I totaled my car, and caused minimal damage to the one in front of me. How much should my insurance be on a monthly basis?""

I'm 17years old how much would it be to insure a Volkswagen Golf?

Primerica life insurance help!!!?

ok well i was currently covered under Primerica untill Febuary, when i was terminated due to non payment. What are the steps that Primerica takes to reinstate a policy.""

Chambers Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 86502

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