#it's 12:20am what am I on about

[caleb-is-existing]

I made a realisation

A passport is called a passport because it let's you pass through the port, and the things the boats go to are called ports and that's why airports are called airports because they are ports for aeroplanes

#shitpost #it's 12:20am what am I on about #history side of tumblr #am I correct?

[mygloviesme]

cool about it. || myg

no. 12: I let you lie

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 3.8k

genre: ANGST, friends(?) to lovers, slow burn, fluff

chapter warnings: toxic relationship (not w/myg), mentions of mental health, throwing up, smut (face riding, nipple play? girl idk)

inspo song: moon song by phoebe bridgers

MARCH 8TH, 2012, 10:20AM

I give Jungkook a glare that he’s too tired to be aware of. He walks out of the room as a whole, leaving me to clean up after myself. I wash my hands and soon after brushing my teeth. Cleaning my mouth of the gross, oddly sweet, acidity that hid in the tiny crevices of my gums. After gargling some mouthwash I make an unconscious decision not to shower.

My body is aching way too much to commit to that sort of self care. 

I walk, or stumble, over to Yoongi who is still sleeping soundly. I want to leave him alone and let him enjoy his sleep but who am I if not a needy person that enjoys his presence and kisses him sometimes?

Shut up.

I blow on his face lightly, but no movement. Yoongi-ah….I say softly. No movement. I kiss his forehead and play with his hair for a little. Okay, for a while. My knees start hurting for how long I’ve been crouching, so I result in giving him a light shove. He groans in response.

“Come here.” He asks in a half-asleep daze. I abide happily, taking up the spot next to his body. 

“No. On top of me.” He specifies.

W-What?

I blurt out a laugh, “I’m not sure what you mean. Are you thinking straight?” I poke at his side playfully.

His eyes widen all of a sudden, his tone serious. “I am.” 

I hear a soft dominance in his voice that I haven’t heard before. I don’t waste another second and start to climb on top of him but his fingers tug on the waistband of my sweatpants, “Do you think you could take these off?” He asks softly. I’m not sure why he’s asking, but the sweetness of his voice is enough for me to agree to whatever he asks me to.

Even the contact of his knuckles on my torso sent a chill down in places that I’m too embarrassed to speak on.

He looks so curious, like he was wondering if I would actually do it.

I sit back down to rustle the sweatpants off, tossing them to the side. I climb back on top of him so his waist is between my thighs. “I love feeling your weight on me.” He confesses. My face grows into a blushful smile, “W-Why?” I stutter. 

“Dunno.” He mumbles, his hands traveling to my butt. He gives it a gentle caress, “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” I say quickly, eager for him to know how absolutely okay this all was.

There’s a flood that grows in my underwear, leaving a damp spot I hope Yoongi doesn’t notice. His fingers trail to my thighs, his thumbs nearing just above my lower area. The pad of his fingers massage deeply, and I like to think he loves all the teasing he’s doing.

I can’t help the movement of my hips, wanting to ride out the pleasure. He hums and plays with the middle of my underwear, tracing lines where my clit would be. Suddenly the embarrassment I was feeling about him seeing me soaked for him is all gone now. I’m blinded by the sight of his wanting eyes on me.

“Yoongi…” I whimper. I want more from him, I want his fingers to feel just how messy he makes me. How just being on top of him makes my imagination twist and turn. I place my hands over his, leading him to the entrance of my underwear. He doesn’t take my hint, though. He looks at me once again, “Do you wanna…sit on my face?�� He whispers. 

I’m taken aback by his request.

Sit…on his face?

Not even Haneul asked me to do any of the sort. Not like he never gave me oral, it was just never this…erotic. This vulnerable. The idea of planting myself on his face was something I never thought about, but now that I have the image in my head…It’s all I want to do. 

I gulp and nod, waiting for his que. He removes the pillow behind his head and repositions himself, gesturing to me to start. It’s a bit awkward admittedly. I’m convinced this is a first for him too, but it’s so natural the way he grips my hips to assist me. Once I’m hovering, ready and in-view for him, he slides my underwear to the side and pushes me down on his opened mouth. 

I gasp from the warmth of his mouth, but more so of how well I seem to fit on his face. I look down to see his eyes closed as he focuses his tongue moving around my clit. I hold onto the top of the headboard, leaning my cheek against the cold wood.

“O-Oh…” Is all I can muster while his mouth envelopes my insides. 

My body shakes as I move my cunt slowly, getting a rhythm down. God, I cannot believe this is happening or that he even thought of this. I wonder if this is something he fantasized about. That thought alone makes me push myself onto his tongue further.

My grip on the wood gets progressively tighter and my knuckles nearly whiten. There’s only animalistic noises coming out of me, loud and begging. His hands continue to grab at my thighs, encouraging my movement. His tongue is almost robotic as he continues to go over the same spot that makes me whimper, scream his name. Honestly, either he knows that it’s the spot I like or he just likes hearing me say his name. 

This foreign position makes me closer, faster than usual. But I don’t want the moment to end just yet. I hold onto the bed as I lift myself from his mouth to sit next to him, out of breath. He looks properly confused and his lips glistens from my fluids, his chin shiny and eyes glossy. It’s so hot but I’m too lightheaded to enjoy it. 

“W-Wha? Did you not like it?” He asks, wiping his mouth. 

“N-No,” I say shakily, “I just don’t want to come yet.”

He gives a cheeky smile and sits up, “Why is that?”

I swallow the embarrassment I’m getting from voicing my wants, but I know it’ll all be worth it. Hopefully. 

“I-I want you to use your fingers.” I mumble. He crawls over to me and cradles my cheeks with his hands, “I need specifics.” He asks, painfully teasing me. He knows what I want, or has an idea. But he wants to hear it from me. He wants to know I want him inside me. I want him knuckle deep, finger-fucking me. God. I need it so badly.

“I want your fingers i-inside of me.” I whisper and finally lock eyes with his.

He nods slowly, his reply silent, placing one hand on my chest to push me gently down on the bed. He lifts the sweater I’m wearing, the one that belongs to him, uncovering my breasts. He kisses me gently first and I realize I’ve been without them this whole time.

He sucked on my clit before even giving me a peck, and that’s somehow special to me personally.

He travels his lips so they drag along my skin, licking the strip between my revealed chest. He moves his tongue to my left nipple, nipping at it softly. 

I moan quietly in response, feeling his mouth suck on me soon after. He takes care of me like this for a good while and I enjoy every second of it. There’s no rush for him at this moment, no responsibilities or chores we have to get to. It’s just us in this empty room. With six boys probably waiting on us, but we don’t know that yet nor do we care. 

He switches to my other breast and gives my nipple a playful tug just like last time. Except now he only flicks his tongue, making me think back to when I was on top of him just a second ago. There’s a feeling I get that I knew I had before, but it’s more this time. It’s scary, it’s uncharted territory. No, don’t get in your head. Stop overthinking. 

But what if he feels the same? What if he’s wondering what we are? What if he feels used, like I only want him to give me this sexual pleasure and then not call him my boyfriend? I’m not sure if this is what I want, this feeling I mean. These old thoughts are coming back to fruition and they’re pulling me out of the-

“Kanako?” I hear Yoongi, who is now sitting up. I realize my sweater is still bundled up so I bring it back down in an awkward move. “Yeah, sorry. I know…I just got distracted.” I say. 

“O-Oh, did it not feel good?” 

“No that’s not it at all! I just don’t think I want to…do this anymore.” I mumble, looking down at my now crossed bare legs. He’s a little bewildered from my sudden change but isn’t upset. I notice he looks worried. He shouldn’t be. Or should he? Should we both worry about where this is leading?

“Where are you going?” He asks, looking at my zoned-out face.

“W-What?”

“You’re thinking about something.”

I shake my head vigorously, “No I’m not!”

He positions his hand on my thigh, “Tell me what’s bothering you. Let me in, right?”

I bite my quivering lip, “I don’t know if right now is a good time.”

Yoongi stares at me blankly, “I think right now is the perfect time.”

He’s right, it is. Just like I said before. But It’s the fact that I can’t say it. I can’t be the one to ask about it, to bring it up. It’s too painful. I’m not ready.

“I can’t.” I say with tears welling up in my eyes. I sense the familiarity of my breath hitching, knowing he’s going to need more. As he should, he deserves to know. Spit it out, Kanako. 

“Baby-”

“What is this? What are we? And would you be upset if I said I couldn’t label us yet? O-Or that I want it to be. Labeled, I mean. But I have this relentless guilt because I feel like a ticking time bomb and you don’t deserve that. A-And what’s going to happen when you debut? When you’re so busy and we can’t be together like we are right now?”

“Kanako-”

“I feel like there’s a deadline, Yoongi!” I say, now sobbing. “I-I feel so many things but I-”

“Kanako. I love you.”

What? No, no, no. No. Take it back. 

“I know you do. I love all of you guys-”

“You’re not hearing me. I love you.”

My mind races as he continues, his words sounding foreign. Like I've forgotten my native tongue, like I’ve been concussed.

JUNE 11TH, 2011, 12:19AM

The stars are especially bright tonight, and so are Haneul’s eyes as they look at me. His hair is perfectly tucked into the beanie I got him for his birthday earlier this month. We’re sitting in this sketchy park that we frequented very often for the sole purpose of being hidden. No one could find us here, see us here, hear us here. We were completely alone. 

We usually aren’t here as late as this, though. But he insisted I come with him, he said me being there would make the night sky shine brighter. 

That’s the thing about Haneul. His tongue could spit poison and malice whenever he felt like. In those small moments where he considered like I was deserving of human decency, though, he never held back. He used his songwriting skills as a weapon to soak me up and wring me out. 

He brushes my hair behind my ear in a gentle manner, looking at me while I stare at the constellations. 

“I swear sometimes I can make out your face in the stars if I look long enough.” I whisper, his gaze still locked in on me. 

“Kanako, I love you. I know it’s so early but I-”

“Iloveyoutoo.” I blurt out. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life than those three words. They sound almost perfect as they roll off my tongue. I love him too. 

His smile is so big as he takes in my lips, kissing me with force and passion. We fall naturally onto the grass and he’s quick to place his knee between my legs. He continues to repeat I love you I love you I love you like they’re the only words he knows. 

The way he loves me is like being hit with endless waves. That’s how I think of it. When you swim back up only to get hit with a gust of water, burning your nose and filling your lungs. There’s not one life ring in sight, not one person on land who’s reaching for their hand. But I thought that’s what love was. More hurting. I thought I had to persevere through it to get to some imaginary side that I’d end up never finding. 

He would forever leave me to drown in the water and expect me to find my way out. I’m still stuck there. I’m still drowning. Why did I ever expect Yoongi to be my life ring?

MARCH 9TH, 2012, 6:27PM

I’ve been busying myself in the kitchen practically the whole day. I convinced Jin to let me handle the birthday festivities out of care but also out of avoidance from Yoongi. Me and Yoongi didn’t even share a room together that night after I told him I needed time alone. After he told me he loved me. He respected my wishes, but this morning when I wished him a happy birthday, he didn’t look at me once. It hurts, this hurts. This is exactly why I should’ve never even begun this. 

I’m rolling the homemade cookie dough I made between my hands a little aggressively and a curious Jungkook notices. 

“You oka-”

“No, get in here. Help your friend with these cookies.” I mutter quickly. He puts down his box of banana milk and takes over what I was doing while I pace. He turns around while rolling the balls of cookie dough and follows me with his eyes. 

I rub my forehead while I think, think, and think. The memory of Yoongi’s face falling when I didn’t reciprocate doesn’t leave my head. It’s burned a hole through my frontal lobe and I’m convinced it’s gonna change the trajectory of my life fore-

“Kanako, you're making me nervous.” Jungkook says with a scared face. He places the finished cookies on the parchment paper and wipes his hands, coming up to me. His hands grab my shoulders and he looks at me deeply, “Yoongi told me.”

I wince and nearly collapse, rather dramatically. “God!” I say as Jungkook picks me back up.

“Hey, hey. It wasn’t anything bad. He’s just confused and-and sad.” He speaks fast, not wanting me to break down once again. I know he’s just trying to console me but it’s only paining me more that Yoongi was so sad he confided in the youngest of the group. That says a lot. His go-to is usually-

“Well he actually told all of us If I’m going to be honest.”

“Stop talking!” I cringe and fall onto the kitchen counter, hiding my face behind my folded arms. 

He rubs my back and watches me as I fall apart on this counter covered in flour and other miscellaneous baking ingredients. I’ve made one cake, two batches of chocolate cupcakes, and am currently on my third batch of chocolate chip cookies. It’s all I know how to make from scratch. Baking isn’t usually my coping mechanism but it fits the theme of the day so I used that to my advantage. And I wanted it to make up for what I did to Yoongi. 

Everything was so fine yesterday after I’d told him, besides his face in that moment that I’m sure will haunt me forever. He still held my hand, kissed me sometimes, and talked to me. But when it came to nightfall and I asked him to sleep in bed with me alone, just us for the first time, he said no. He said no. 

“I am also sad and confused.” I muffle.

Jungkook sighs, “I know that. But I mean- do you love him?” He whispers. 

I lift my face and give him a glare he’s become familiar with, “Yes, of course I do. Romantically, yes. Absolutely.  It’s just…I don’t- it’s…everything is so unclear right now.” I admit with hesitance. There’s as much of a code between me and the boys as there is between them and Yoongi, so I know Jungkook wouldn’t run off to tell him. I think. 

“He knows that, we all know that. But don’t you think him telling you that is kind of…”

“Kind of what?”

“Like him promising you that nothing is going to change?”

I huff, “But we don’t know that. I don’t know what will happen once this, like, bubble we’re living in bursts.”

Jungkook looks at me, a little dumbfounded. “You think we’re living in a bubble?”

I position my body so I’m now standing. I look at Jungkook as he slurps on his banana milk, awaiting my answer. “You don’t?” I respond. 

His mouth fiddles with his straw, “I think this is how things are going to be forever. Even if we all get busy with the debut I don’t see why we can’t still have sleepovers and dinners together.”

Maybe Jungkook is right, that nothing will change. That they’ll only get a bit busier, but it’s still them I’ll be with at night. It’s still them I’ll be making dinner for and bringing cookies over to. Or

maybe it’s his age, being only fifteen. That’s why he has a bit of an unrealistic stance on all of our futures. I wish I could have his brain for a day. 

I give a worried smile and caress his cheek which makes him stop sipping his drink, “I do love you all. You know that right?” I whisper. 

He takes my hand that’s on his cheek and holds it to his heart. It’s childish but…that makes it more meaningful. His small acts of affection stand out the most from all the others. 

“Of course we do.” He responds gently, “But you really need to tell Yoongi about what you told me. It’s never going to get better if you don’t talk to him about it.”

Moment ended. Although I know it’s for my own well-being, it still hurts.

I sigh, “Put in the cookies for me? All you need to do is slide them in on the top rack and take them out after ten minutes. This batch is specifically for Hoseok and Taehyung ‘cause they like them soft.” I give him instructions that I know he needs, simple as they may be. I leave him to it and wipe off my hands with a napkin and head for Yoongi. 

MARCH 9TH, 2012, 6:50PM

I go outside where Yoongi sits on the patio. He has a pencil in his hand and a notebook in the other, writing for a second until he notices my presence. 

“Writing a song?” I approach quietly. 

He sets down his things and scratches the back of his neck while looking into the distance, “Something like that. I don’t know.” He mumbles. He’s in his usual attire, a hoodie with jeans. His eyes look a bit sunken in and I can only think of the lack of sleep he must’ve gotten. As well as me, yesterday was not something I felt satisfied with enough to get a good night's sleep.  

I walk to the bench, “Can I sit?” 

“Always.”

I perch myself next to him, leaving an obvious distance between us. The wind is light but still nips at my earlobes. It feels like this is our first interaction with the way we’re not speaking. I don’t like this silence. Usually I accept the awkwardness with open arms, always feeling content with just his company. But it’s not like we’re enjoying nature together. We’re wondering who’s to speak first because neither of us really want to start this conversation.

Instead I look at the notepad between us, the title reading ‘Butterfly’. 

“Butterfly?”

He grabs the notebook and shuts it closed, “Just something I thought of. Probably won’t finish it.”

I nod slowly and ignore his hastiness, looking back into the scenery before us. The trees, the island. Perfectly secluded for a nice outing. But this is far from perfect. 

“Do you not love me?” He whispers, I wince. 

“That’s not it.”

“I wish you would tell me what it is then.”

My expression falls sadly. My heart is so heavy at this moment. My shoulders feel like they’re carrying a tragedy. A burden. I’ve been cursed with the weight of other people’s emotions since I could remember. 

“It’s your birthday Yoongi. I don’t wanna-”

“Please Kanako.” He looks at me like he’s been defeated. I hate seeing him like this. 

“I do love you,” I say with one big breath, “But it’s all so complicated. I’m still so…damaged. I feel unfit to love someone else like this.” 

My but is enough for him to drop his head to his shoes. I know it’s hard for him to hear it at this age. It’s hard for me to say at this age. This love is too grown up for us. This situation is far from immature and neither of us have the experience to deal with it properly. I know that much. 

“I get that.” Is all he says. 

I place my hand where his is, resting on his thigh. He squeezes our interlaced fingers tightly. 

He truly looks at me for one of the first times today, “Just don’t leave me. I don’t care if we have to be friends or whatever after I debut, I just need you. Promise me you’ll stay.”

I give a reassuring smile, “I’ll stay.” 

MARCH 9TH, 2012, 7:30PM

Everyone circles around Yoongi who sits at the end of the table. The homemade cake I made sits in front of him and is filled with candles, which I’m sure is a fire hazard. But Taehyung was convinced we had to fit nineteen there, so we did. 

The lights are dim so Yoongi’s face is lit up by the candles, with his gummy smile on full display. Everyone sings happy birthday to him loudly and happily like it’ll be one for the books. And as I sing I try to ignore the stinging pain in my stomach. 

I’m noticing the boys who’re in their own perfect world and I can’t help but feel like an outsider. Like a fly on the wall, a small nuisance. 

He blows out the candles and reaches for my cheek to give a big kiss and I accept it gladly. Seokjin begins taking the candles off before slicing a piece for everyone. 

“Come baby, sit down.” He says as he notices me about to get up to grab more plates. 

“I want you to be with me.” He whispers in my ear. 

“Always.” I respond. 

I’m a bad liar. 

click here to read more of this story!

#min yoongi #bts #bts imagines #fanfic #agust d #suga #yoongi #yoongi fanfic #bts fluff #bts hoseok #bts yoongi #bts taehyung #bts seokjin #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bts namjoon #bts angst #bts fanfic #fanfiction #bts fanfiction #bts army #bts smut #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #bts icons #run bts

[coolyiooo]

001 / PETER BALLARD X READER (SMUT)

⚠️WARNINGS ⚠️creampie, slight scratching, first time

‼️ DISCLAIMER ‼️y'all are 18

You and Peter Ballard met eachother at the Hawkins laboratory. You and him have become friends since young teenagers, but because the system is strict, you guys only hang out during the rainbow room hours. He usually tries to spend most of his time with you, but every once in awhile, helps other kids to not seem suspicious. He has told you of him being 001 and the world, and you both agreed to leave the lab together when the time is right. You two have also started to fall for one another, and secretly became an item. You've been together for almost a year and it's been the best thing to have ever happened to you and him.

You two have never had sex before, you knew of it but didn't know much because the lab doesn't tell you shit, but you and Peter had an interesting and awkward conversation about it once, because you didn't know where babies came from. As you got older, hormones started to form, and being a teenager, nature makes you horny, unfortunately, so you've thought about possibly having sex with your boyfriend, but you don't want to have a child and get you and him punished, but sometimes curiosity gets the best of us.

One day you and Peter were in the rainbow room, but you asked Peter to play chess with you, to talk to him privately. You knew the basic rules, to not look suspicious and don't have any reactions since there's a camera in the room. You wanted answers about sex so you asked Peter, "hey...can you tell me more about ..sex?" You said bluntly and quietly. You could see that Peter was a bit stunned but quickly hid his expression as he gulped and blushed a bit. He stared at you "why do you wanna know more about it?" You kept playing the game, "I've been...thinking about it.." he looked at you with tension but tried hiding it "why have you been thinking about it?" "I'm just.. curious" you looked at him with pure eyes, he stared back, looked down quickly, and played the game, "well..what more do you want to know?" You thought for a bit "who...should you do it with?", You saw him gulp again "um..well.. with someone..you care about..like..husband.. wife.. girlfriend or boyfriend.." you nodded and kept playing the game, knocking out one of his pieces, "are there ways to not..get pregnant?" He was quiet for a few seconds, then started to play the game " yes" you got a bit hopeful now, "how does it feel?" You saw him move around his seat, uncomfortably, "I can't say from experience" you looked down in disappointment "but" he said. You looked at him as he played the game, knocking out one of your pieces, "from what I've heard...it...feels good" "what does that mean?" "Im not sure.." he answered truthfully"I guess.." you started to say while playing the game again, checkmating him "we can find out... together"

You looked up and saw him blushing intensely "if..we can.." you said, trying to reassure him. He looked at your eyes "I don't think it's possible with our conditions" you stayed quiet for a few seconds, looking down "we can find a way...that is if you really wanna..try" you said while shaking a bit, scared of being rejected from the person you care most in the world.He got up from his chair, walked around the table, grabbed your chin to make you look at his eyes, "I'll find a way".

A few weeks later Peter found a way and made a plan. He told you while playing chess that one of the security guards owed him so they made a deal. The deal was that the security guard won't say anything during 12:00 am - 12:20am. Anything later than that, they'll rat us out. Peter also told you that it's safer to do it in your room, since the walls are thick for whenever papa comes to do notes on your power, you need thick walls so you won't be able to hear outside of your room to concentrate more, so that if y'all made noises, nobody will hear.

It was the night to do the plan and you were nervous and excited, but mostly nervous because you didn't wanna get caught and be punished, but excited to do this experience with Peter. When it was bed time, you couldn't sleep, and stayed up till 12 am. It was quiet for a long time since it was just you and your thoughts, but suddenly you heard your door open and saw Peter come in quietly. He looked at your eyes and slowly walked towards you "how long have you been awake?" He asked, You stared back "couldn't sleep". He sat down next to you, you could tell he was a bit shaky "are you nervous?" He asked, "yes but..also happy" he looked deeply into your eyes "me too" you slightly smiled, he smiled back too. "We don't have much time so..we have to be quick" he said, you nodded, "I don't know much but..I think I know enough" you placed your hand on his cheek "I trust you" you said, he smiled.

He slowly got closer to your face "remember what I told you about kissing?" He asked, You nodded, "I'ma try that with you first". You two have never kissed before since there's no way y'all could because of security cameras. He put a hand on your chin and slowly put his lips onto yours while closing his eyes. It was a small peck but it made you feel something you've never felt before, but in an ecstatic way. You put your hand on his cheek and brought him closer to your lips to feel that spark again, he kissed back of course. This time your kisses were longer and started to get passionate, it made you feel happy and needed and..good..was this what they mean by when it felt 'good'?. You pulled him into deeper kisses by grabbing his hair. He must've felt good too but you heard him panting a bit, making you worried. You pulled away "are you ok?" He smiled bright "I'm the happiest I've ever been" you smiled back and kissed him again, but he pushed you away, "remember we only have limited time" he said, you nodded in response.

He got behind you and slowly slid his hand down your body, feeling every inch of it, it made you feel weird but you trusted him. He then slid his hand under your gown and slowly started to rub your clit in circles, making you gasp and jolt from the unknown feeling he kissed you, "it's ok this is..how you start it" he said. You started to twitch, you couldn't really explain the feeling but it made you want more..is this what they meant by 'feeling good'. "It..feels...good..faster" you could barley say. He looked at you and started to rub your clit faster. You shut your eyes tightly and laid your head on his shoulder, making small noises. You felt something hard against your back but didn't really question it.You started to feel your heart beat faster and become hot and...wet. it scared you but something started to build up inside you, like it was going to explode soon. You didn't know what it was but it felt good "something's...coming!" You whispered yelled. He stopped. You were slightly panting "why..did you stop?" You could hear him slightly pant too "I think it's time we try it out".

He got up and started to take off his clothes and you started to do the same. You felt embarrassed so you tried covering up yourself, but he went next to you and said "don't cover up..you look beautiful" and kissed your cheek, making you blush and smile. You laid on your back as you could feel your heart pound throughout your entire body, and you looked down and saw this huge thing sticking out of Peter, 'this is what is probably called a... penis' you thought, but it scared you. From what Peter tells you, it's going to go inside you. You gulped and felt your heartbeat go faster. He could see your fear, so he hovered above you and said "don't worry it'll only hurt for a bit but then..you'll feel even better than before" you looked at his eyes with a bit of worried "ok..I trust you".

He took a deep breath as you put your hands around his neck. You could feel his heart race just like yours. He slowly started to insert himself into you, making you whine quietly from the pain, but he kissed you to muffle the noises you made. It made you a bit distracted from the pain but it still hurt. After awhile he was finally fully inside you, you also heard Peter make some noises as well, he pulled away "I'm..gonna start now", you nodded in response. He started to slowly pull out of you, making you feel pain, then he slid back inside you slowly, you started to hear him pant. After awhile you couldn't feel as much pain as before and started to feel good, so you wanted to feel more "f-faster " you whispered. He startrd to go faster, slightly making your bed make some noises but not too loud for other rooms to hear. You heard him make groaning noises "are you ok?" You asked, thinking he was in pain, "yes..it feels..good..really good" hearing that made you feel tingles all over your body, it's glad to know he was feeling the same too, "yeah..it's feel really good" you slightly moaned while saying that. It made him feel something deep inside him after hearing you say that, so he went faster. You tilted your head back and moaned a bit louder, you felt him hit your deepest parts. It was like he was hitting a button deep inside you that made you feel electricity throughout your body, and it felt amazing. You started to feel something inside you build up again, and it was going to explode soon, "something going to...explode inside me !" You whispered yelled while tightly gripping on his shoulders, he was panting "yeah..something's going to explode inside me too..do you want me to stop?" "No!" You slightly yelled "i- I mean no..please don't stop..it feels too good..please go a bit faster..Peter" hearing his name come out of your mouth during this experience made him weak, in a good way, he wanted to hear you say it again, so he went faster. You started to moan while panting, slightly scratching his back with your nails. He kissed your neck "say my name again " he said while panting, "Peter.." you softly said, he groaned quietly in response. You could sense that he liked that so you kept saying his name over and over again, making him go roughly and deeply inside you, the amazing feeling becoming unbearable. "Peter..it's..coming!..im going to!" You moaned slightly, "me too!" He grunted softly. A few more thrusts and you felt something go deep inside you, and it felt really good, making you explode on him. Your legs trembled and intense electricity flowed through your entire body. You too felt Peter twitch and quiver.

You two were both panting for While but he looked at you and smiled "that was..amazing" you smiled back "yes it was..I'm glad we did this ..together " he smiled wider and kissed you. He slowly pulled out of you, feeling something drip out of you "is this..sperm?" You asked "yes.." he answered. He got a towel from his pants and cleaned you up "I have to go now..I'm really happy we did this.." he said smiling at you, you nodded and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled away and put his clothes back on "I'll see you tomorrow.. beautiful " you blushed as he walked out the door. You fell asleep smiling wildly, you've never felt this way before and you loved it.

#stranger things #stranger things smut #peter ballard #peter ballard x you #peter ballard x y/n #peter ballard x reader #peter ballard smut

[akiitos]

Hihihiiiii

uhhh

hru :D i hope ure healthy and well (unlike me/hj)

Uhhhh anyways! If possible, could I request a Toya, Akito, Rui, and Tsukasa (separate obv) with a gn reader who literally cannot sleep with 1) something in their arms, and 2) atleast something the reader can hear (whether itd be music, a normal conversation, a tv playing, anYTHING)

Also heres two little scenarios if you have a hard time trying to figure out what to do with this request: 1) them cuddling their s/o while either singing or just talking with the reader, or maybe just a song playing or a channel going off on the tv. 2) when they get home at like 10pm they just find the reader sleeping with a squishmallow and a spotify playlist going off from their phone. Or 3) after they finish talking to someone on the phone, they go to theirs' and s/o's shared room just to find them sleeping peacefully with a squishmallow (next thing they know its because they were talking to someone on the phone)

Uhh if your requests are closed, you can just ignore this (or delete it), and if you feel as if you cant do this, feel free to once again, ignore or delete

Alright I should uhh prolly go now it's 4:20am here and I'm supposed to be awake by 6:30am (not like im gonna sleep honestly)

Alrighty, uhhh, byebhe have a nice day/night

(also im sorry if it's a lil disorganized to you)

project sekai boys x gn!reader

summary: you tend to fall asleep when you're cuddling something, and if youre listening to something!

;; hcs style

@ toya aoyagi

• you were literally SO tired but toya was over and it was insane. so you just got your favorite plush and hugged it as he left the room for a bit

• but uhhh you wanted something to be listening to aswell

• so you just got out your phone, played the shared playlist that you and him have and just shut your eyes in a soft bliss

• after a few minutes, he walked into your room and had almost no reaction-

• i mean, he was pretty suprised that you fell asleep this quick.

• he kissed your cheek and ran his cold hands against your warm body lovingly

• he tried going near you without waking you up, and probably fell asleep too tbh

• cute.

@ akito shinonome

• he knew of your habits beforehand, and didn't seem to care

• so, he wasn't suprised when you asked him to call you in the middle of the night so you can sleep

• he pretended to be annoyed, but still agreed to it anyway.

• it was like 12 am and you asked if he could talk about his day, or tell stories

• he did, and honestly...

• best experience ever. may ask again!

• if you do end up falling asleep on call with him, he'll go on mute and admire you (NOT IN A WEIRD WAY)

• he'd fall asleep after you.

• he's so ahhhhhebsnka

@ rui kamishiro

• sort of like akito, you'd mostly call/face time him if he couldn't be with you at the moment

• if he notices you cant sleep, he'll ask if you'd want to call -- if you say yes, then he'll happily obliege.

• he'll talk about anything. literally anything

• mostly about his inventions, though

• he's one of the best people to go to for this, since his voice is so relaxing. like wtf??

• if he notices you're asleep, he'll either stay on call- or hang up and send you a sweet text message.

• he doesnt mind calling you whatsoever, and actually enjoys it, since he likes having someone to rant to.

• rly helpful! 5☆ ratingg

@ tsukasa tenma

• ok. here this boy goes

• he likes buying you plushies, and everytime you sleep with them, it reminds you of him

• you like sleeping over at his house, as he likes sleeping over at your house too.

• no matter whose house, he'll be really good at talking

• he can talk about ANYTHING. when i say anything, i mean ANYTHING

• be it his sister, his life, hell- he'll even talk about you!

• when he does talk to you, he has the calm voice that soothes you to sleep

• fallen asleep already? ah, too bad, i wasnt done yet, he says as he kisses your forehead and lays down beside you

#pjsk akito #prsk x reader #project sekai #project sekai x reader #prsk #proseka x reader #prosekai x reader #akito shinonome #akito shinonome x reader #tenma tsukasa x reader #tsukasa tenma x reader #tsukasa tenma #rui kamishiro x reader #rui kamishiro #toya aoyagi #toya aoyagi x reader #pjsk toya #akiitos posts

[postsforposting]

all the weird time in go s2, e1-3

I am working off a 2k display, so if someone else has a 4k and wants to take a look at these timestamps to get a better reading, or has better photo editing skills, have at it. Almost all the time the "hour" hand is at the wrong spot, ie at 650 it should be nearly on the 7, not directly on the 6. I will say when it's correct. Timestamps means "this is where in the show it happens", also shown with "t[number]".

Rewrote some of this after reading this post about the clock hands being backward: what ought to be the hour hand is the minute hand on the big clock next to Az's desk, and I grabbed some time pictures I missed. I'm putting this in chronological order within each episode rather than show order. I did try to include both ways to read the clock, reversed and "not reversed". I think using the short hand as mintues most of the time makes sense.

I will edit this as more stuff comes to light, ie we get more shots of time stuff or realize things.

Jim showing up seems to mess with time, even before the hiding miracle--though idk if the hiding miracle can reach back through time to change things? Delete the memory of him being there? That would be consistent with how "deleting time" works, ie jumping it forward.

Episode 1

1. Crowley meeting Shax in the alley at timestamp 19:27 in s2e1: an hour discrepancy between his phone and his watch. Watch has normal/correct hour hand placement. The watch says it's 11:35am and the phone 10:35, aka six hours prior to the scene where Az meets Jim. Crowley hasn't learned anything about Gabriel or the book of life at the time we see this discrepancy except that "something is up", and in all later scenes the hour hand of the clocks is incorrectly placed/time is "fake". This missing hour is something different than the rest of them? Crowley either doesn't notice the missing time, or he already knows what it is. He has an analogue watch, presumably he knows how to read time, and would know when his hour hand is not behaving correctly/doing fake things.

Was Gabriel doing something on earth for an hour? That the hiding miracle deleted from everyone's memories? That wouldn't desync the clocks though, and should not affect our heroes who can still recognize him. I did try to look at Gabriel's eyes in the elevator in e6, they did look purple still, so I think he didn't remove his memory until after he got to earth--but that doesn't make sense with how Saraqael says she "can't find his memory anywhere", implying he already took it out in the elevator. I do not think they waited an hour for him to "clear out his desk". I tried to run the symbols on the angel security cam footage through Google translate, but no dice.

2. Az gets Maggie's note about the rent, we see a tiny clock behind Az at timestamp 8:18. One hand is just before 12, the other seems to be on the 4? We can see where the 9 and the 8 are, so it looks like the other hand should be on the 4, not the 3. It's easier to see if you watch this in the show, you can see the clock face appear and it looks more clear if you watch from about 8:16-19. This clock says either just before 4pm or it's 11:20am, because that looks like the short hand near the 12. I don't know if this clock should be read backwards like the big clock should. (Edit: this clock is the big one by his desk, we're seeing it through a gap in the bookshelves, it's not sitting in the bookshelf.)

2.5. We can see Maggie's watch when he goes to forgive her rent, after getting her note. seems like it says 11:25-27, t1008. Crucially, this is supposedly less than 21min before Jim shows up.

3. t1441, Jim knocks. When Az gets up to answer, we see this on the clock next to his desk, behind him, it's definitely 4:20 no matter what weirdness the hands are doing. It is now 5 hours later???

4. Time seems to stand still while Az talks to Jim for the first time, as the clock never moves from 4:25 (520 not reversed), but the long hand ought to be further along if that's the real time. Time is not stopped as you can see people moving outside the window. t16:32-19:26,

and picking up again timestamp 20:18 after he gets the box, it is 4:30 (620 not reversed),

Crowley says he'll see Az in two minutes, and then Nina starts to close down because it's nearly 5:00 (7pm not reversed), which makes sense.

5. t26:51, meeting Jim with the feather duster. The hands are either both on the 5 or one's on the 4 and one on the 5. It was already 430pm, so surely it's not 425 again, it must be 525? Either it's been an hour when Crowley said "two minutes" or we've gone backward in time. As we see in the apology and miracle scene though, clocks get weird around jim, so we very well could have gone back in time. They have a fight and Crowley does his lightning, etc.

6. stolen from the "hands on the clock are reversed" post, timestamp 38:47, time is 2102 aka 9:02. this is when crowley releases nina and maggie from being locked in the cafe.

7. the apology scene. If we say Nina closes at 5pm(maybe 7?)....time is just fucky in this scene, idk man. Time seems to run fine, around 9pm, except when Jim shows up. Did he do something to himself before he went to earth? But if so, he would have screwed up time when first talking to Az too. When did he alter himself, though, if Saraqael couldn't find his memory? Did whatever or whoever was involved in the Big Miracle also reach back through time to change things?

If changing your identity means you never existed, maybe did Gabriel invent time, hence him removing his memory....removed him from reality, so now time is fucky? What would be the point of going through all this though just for that though???? Did the damn fly have miracle powers and perform a miracle at some point??? If so then why didn't it register as his memory when Saraqael was looking? If he could hide simply by being on earth, there would be no point to putting himself in the fly.

Episode 2

1. It appears to be 10:40am in the scene where Jim is singing, where Az gets the Clue right before the angels show up in e2 at timestamp 6:05. It seems that the hour hand is correct, between the 10 and 11? IF we don't read it backward, then the hands are not correctly positioned and it's 652am.

However, the clock when the angels are in the shop appears to say something in the realm of 845 or 945? t1348

But while we're talking to the angels, we see the clock again at a very different time, what appears to be 954am, t1422.

But at t1516, it looks like a different time? Short hand on the 8, long on the 10, so 10:40 again (or 750am, not reversed).

There does not seem to be a hand directly on either the 55 or the 9, they seem closer to the 8 and the 50. I don't know if there's even a hand anywhere but the 8/9 though.

2. The angels leave, Az and Crowley go to the pub, then go back to talk to Jim. Time stays at 4:29, t2058; (620 not reversed, but the hands would be in a really bad placement).

After the Job flashback at t4016, the clock now says 630 regardless of weirdness.

It looks like there are two short hands, no long one? Why?? Timestamp 4016. The double hands stay in every shot, pretty obviously, until we leave the scene. Crowley also leaves, and either it's only been ten minutes or it's been two hours and ten. If it's only been ten minutes, that's not something he usually does. Az goes to get Crowley to ask for the car, and his watch says....

Definitely not 630. This is at timestamp 4324. No clue if his watch should be read backward, but in the first episode it was read normally and its hands were correctly positioned.

Episode 3

1. Timestamp 2:30, Muriel shows up. Clock seems to say 10:50, regardless of weirdness. I think this is directly after the previous scene of asking Crowley for the car. It should not be four hours later.

2. Whlie Az is out Cluing, in the bookshop the time says 3:30 at timestamp 1638, and it appears that the long hand is in the correct position between the 3 and 4. It's 617 if we don't reverse it, and the hands would be in the wrong position.

When Az uses the guy's phone in the graveyard at t3451, it says 1750 aka 550. Obviously something is wrong because it can't be way later in the bookshop than it is where Az is. There are not multiple timezones between London and Scotland. This is confirmed at t3511, where we see Crowley answer the phone in the shop, and the clock says 525. It's blurry here but at t3624 we see a moving shot of the clock behind Crowley's head, and it does say 525 clearly (regardless of weirdness). There's another shot of the graveyard phone at t3639 but I can't read the time off it.

It cannot be 525 in the shop and 550 on a phone. That's half an hour of time missing. Notably here, Nina's shop is still open, so either her closing times are not consistent or there was a whole lot more time missing in ep1 to make it later than the clock said it was.

#good omens #clocks

[orchideous-nox]

🕯️,🥤,🧃,🍄,🍬,❄️,🏜️,🍅,🐝 and 🎨 for the writers truth or dare ask game < 3

it's 12:20am lets see if I can get through these by 1am lets goooo oh my god this is so many okay

🕯️- on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Like a 3, maybe a 4. The only part of editing I enjoy is that its the last step in the writing process and then I get to upload the fic, I just find it boring and lowkey stressful and 1 typo always makes it's way into the fic no matter what I do

🥤 - recommend an author or fanfic you love

okay I can't just keep saying Alex (but also yes I can, go check out heartnipnops on ao3) and I recently read "I adored you Madly, Extravagantly, Absurdly" by MiriamMT which I devoured like way too quickly so I'll go with that!

🧃 - share some personal lore you never posted about before

*gasp* KATIE LORE?! Okay eerrrmmm trying to think about what I have or haven't posted. I have a degree in Film Studies, I wrote my dissertation on representations of masculinity in Hollywood films of the 1990s with a focus on Robin Williams in Jumanji, Mrs Doubtfire and Good Will Hunting! That was a lot of fun to write and I can occasionally get pretentious about films from time to time. I am always down to talk films with people though

🍄 - share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

okay love this, I don't usually keep track of my hc's and don't want to revert back to my usual bottom barty and evan collects teeth bullshit.

It seems to have made it into my fics' canon that Barty’s phone screen is always smashed or cracked but I think Evan’s is pristine like he has a fucking bumper phone case incase he drops it, with a screen protector and if it gets the slightest scratch he gets frustrated and buys a new screen protector.

🍬 - post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Again, I don't want to just say bottom Barty again but that is a hill I'll die on. I think a fair amount of my opinions are relatively popular, or at least aren't unpopular.

Okay so I came back to this and I have nothing. Scouse Barty. Not an opinion, I'm here for it though.

❄️ - what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best

i shouldn't say too much about this but my lovely friend who sent me this ask, Alex, has a future fic on his masterlist that we have discussed extensively of like a stalkery and murdery Rosekiller fic that I'm very obsessed with and he knows this and I'm very excited for it because its all I could want in a Rosekiller fic. This also makes it sound like I only have 1 friend because I just talk about Alex.......oh well

🏜️ - what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Oh my god Alex just ask me to suck your dick next time 😒 but seriously I love when people pick out quotes that they like or certain aspects of the fic such as loving the ship dynamic or my writing style.

🍅 - give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I withdraw the dick sucking joke, me and my inflated ego hate you.

I think there are times I need to learn to be more concise. I don't have to give a whole life story in a smut fic and some brevity might do me some good if I can learn how to say more in less words.

🐝 - tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

Oh my god seriously 🙄

Okay so my biggest support is @futurequibblerjournalist aka Alex who I have been continuously hyping up and roasting in the answers to the questions he asked me. He knows he's my biggest supporter and, like a wanker, wants me to inflate his ego.

I could say that Alex has correct opinions (because we share a lot of them) or that he's a great writer but I've already said that like twice in this post. But above all Alex is just one of the best people I know, over the last 5 months we've talked like every day extensively and on good days or bad days he has been a light for me like a sparkly fucking bitch I hate him and myself so much I'm going to throw up now brb

🎨 - link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I'm resisting temptation to make this about Alex and his stupid fucking Cowboy Rosekiller art based on my Cowboy Rosekiller fic 🖕

Actually no, we're making this an Alex-fest because fuck you.

i love it. I love everything about it.

But I'm also going to include one that isn't from my fic

This art by @julesart04 revolutionised my love for Barty and inspired a movement for Barty’s whorish waist on my page

Okay it's 1:10am and I'm pretty sure Alex is about to declare me as a stalker and block me ✌️

#ask game #katie lore

[a-ghost-princess]

The RMS Titanic

(This post is LONG sorry not sorry, also it's 2.20am as I am about to press post, that's a little creepy that I finished this post at almost the same time the Titanic slipped under the waves on the 15th, I know it's the 14th now but still little creepy) (Also if I got anything wrong feel free to tell me, as it is hard to find which info is true)

112 years since The RMS Titanic sank in the early morning of April 15 1912 after stacking an Iceberg late at night on April 14 taking more than 1,517 lives with her, into the North Atlantic Ocean.

The RMS (Royal Mail Ship) Titanic was a British passenger and Mail Carrying ocean liner owned by White Star Line she cost $7.5 million to make in 1912 in today's money that would be around $244,994,210 in 2014 (if I worked it out right).

She was one of the largest Ships on the seas next to her sister The RMS Olympic and The HMHS Britannic, 

Construction of the Titanic started in March 1909 only a couple of months after the Construction had started on Olympic December 1908, The Britannic would not start Construction until 1911. Her builder where Harland & Wolff shipyard in Belfast.

The Titanic stood 175 ft from her keel to the top of her Funnels, with the length of around 882 ft and a width of  92 ft, weighing in at sound 52,310 tons, her installed power was 24 double-ended and five single-ended boilers feeding two reciprocating steam engines for the wing propellers, and a low-pressure turbine for the centre propeller with an output of 46,000 horsepower. She had 9 decks from from A to G (I would go into say what all the Deck are but this would make the post into a novel) She had 2 Two three-blade wing propellers standing at 23 ft and 38 tons and one centre propeller standing at 16 ft and 17 tons. Her service speed was 12 kn 24 MPH her max was 23kn 26 MPH, 

She had the capacity of around 2,453 passengers and around 874 crew. Was designed to carry 64 lifeboats but that was halved to 32 and on her maiden voyage she only had 20 lifeboats when she left. 

The Titanic was laid down (start building) on March 31 1909, she was then launched (being transferred from a dry dock to water) on 31 May 1911, Completed on 2 April 1912 and had her Maiden Voyage on the 10 of April 1912. She did have to sail from Belfast Where she was built on April 2 1912 to Southampton but that was not classed as her Maiden voyage. 

On her maiden Voyage her passengers numbered approximately 1,317 people: 324 in First Class, 284 in Second Class, and 709 in Third Class. Of these, 869 (66%) were male and 447 (34%) female. There were 107 children aboard, the largest number of whom were in Third Class. With around 900 crew members, 

The estimated duration of the journey was approximately going to be 5 to 7 from Southampton to New York, porting at Cherbourg in France and Queenstown (Now known as Cobh) in Southern Ireland in between where some Titanic passengers would disembark and some would board. ( https://titanicfacts.net/titanic-maiden-voyage/ can have a look at this site, It give you a little break down of her journey I did not wanna put it all in this post, it’s already long)

Her first days at sail went by without a hitch until the night of April 14 when at 11:40pm she hit an Iceberg on her starboard side (right side) of her hull below the waterline slicing open the hull between five of the adjacent watertight compartments. If only one or two of the compartments had been opened, Titanic might have stayed afloat, but when so many were sliced open, the watertight integrity of the entire forward section of the hull was fatally breached. Titanic slipped below the waves at 2:20am on 15 April.

The timeline that I found says that she hit the Iceberg at 11.40pm 14th, at 12.40am on the 15th Captain Smith gave the order to uncover the lifeboats and to evacuate women and children at 12.45am the first lifeboat is launch with only 28 people on when it could hold up to 65. 

It took the Titanic around 2 hours and 40 minutes to sink taking with her around 1,517 lives, 

(This may not be the right numbers but it what we know or what we think to be know as I have seen many different number of who sadly passed and who did not)

Men - First class Total on Board 175 - Lots 118 - Survived 57 Second Class Total on Board 168 - Lots 154 - Survived 14 Third class Total on Board 456 - Lots 381 - Survived 75 Crew Total on Board 863 - Lots 674 - Survived 189

Woman -

First class Total on Board 143 - Lots 4 - Survived 139 Second Class Total on Board 94 - Lots 15 - Survived 79 Third class Total on Board 165 - Lots 89 - Survived 76 Crew Total on Board 21 - Lots 3 - Survived 18

Children -

First class Total on Board 6 - Lots 1 - Survived 5 Second Class Total on Board 23 - Lots 0 - Survived 23 Third class Total on Board 79 - Lots 53 - Survived 26

April 15 1912 would be the last day anyone saw the Titanic above the waves, The next time anyone would set eyes on the Titanic again would be 73 years later on the 1st of September 1985 sitting 13,000 feet under the sea in two halves, as she split in half in the skinking (https://www.titanicbelfast.com/history-of-titanic/titanic-stories/finding-titanic-from-search-to-seabed/#:~:text=Although%20the%20Titanic%20lies%20in,the%20world's%20most%20famous%20ship! A site talking about the events on finding the Titanic)

Now in 2024 she has laid there for 112 years, but sadly in the next coming years some say maybe 2030 the Titanic with collapse completely as a rust-eating bacterium found on the ship named Halomonas Titanicae, which has been found to cause rapid decay of the wreck.

It will be sad to see her fully lost to us but she will always be remembered.

Not to sound cheesy but as the song once said “My heart will go on” Titanic's heart will go on and the hearts of all the lost people.

(this may make the post EVEN more long but, a heart for every 1,517 soul that was lots may they rest in peace)

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#The RMS Titanic #Titanic #May the people that lost thire lives rest in peace #I was going to say something about the Sub but I thought that did not really fit as this was about when the Titanic sank not the Sub time #Not that their lives do not matter they do may they also rest in peace

[langernameohnebedeutung]

What is the take. Please share with the class.

Oh, right my take! (I actually posted the first...thoughts of this accidentally before I could finish it because I accidentally queued them instead of drafting but that gave me more time to obsess over this)

So you know how in 2.14 this happens:

Blaine gets kidnapped by Stacey Boss, has his throat slit, and gets buried in the woods. And then by the time he digs himself back out:

Sun's up.

For a really long time, I really never thought about these scenes beyond: 'heh, there is my boy again, good for him!' until it really struck me how fucked up that was. (Partially bc I watched that Buffy episode where the others bring her back from the dead and she has to dig herself out of her own grave and everyone is horrified by how traumatising that experience must have been. Which made me go: Hey, this reminds me of-)

Blaine was down there for hours buried alive. He dug himself out for hours.

But then I thought: Hey, I can do better! I want to find out how long he was down there!

So, at first I assumed that the abduction would have taken place in the middle of the night - because that's when it would make most sense to abduct someone. But that didn't really make sense bc in all the other plots happening at the same time, everyone was still out and about, the Positivity-café from the murder of the week plot is still open etc.

But then I found this:

This takes place just two scenes after Blaine gets buried - so even if we can't really pin down whether those events happen at the same time or this one takes place a little after Blaine got buried, we can still settle for Blaine getting buried between about 7pm and (at the very latest) 7:30pm.

I skimmed through the two previous episodes and the one after that but I couldn't find anything about when this takes place - but we do know that it's really dark outside at 7pm and we do know that New Year's Eve happened Method Head four episodes ago, so it's after Winter Solstice.

So like any normal sane adult I got me this diagramme of sunrise/sunset times in Seattle throughout the year:

Now, at least several weeks have passed since Method Head so this places us well within February (which makes sense, bc the episode also originally aired on the 23rd of February 2016).

Personally, I'm actually prone to dating it even earlier, in early February or late January because they go out of their way to give us this information:

And I found this on a website about Seattle's bird-life:

Now, working out way backwards about two weeks -

-places us in late January, or very early February. Which means (referring back to our daylight diagramme), Blaine couldn't have managed to get out of that grave before 7:20am or 7:30 am.

Which gives us a pretty exact duration for how long Blaine was buried alive of about - Approximately 12 hours (minus the time it took to actually fill up the grave. Something I'll come back to)

Which is fucked up. That would be a pretty traumatic experience on normal person terms, being buried alive for 12 hours and digging yourself back out. Possibly even longer than that because by the time Blaine arrives at the morgue, it is actually well past noon -

but that would obviously include the bus-ride and we don't know how long that was. (In fact, I had a look at Google Maps and dabbled a bit to see how long different public transport rides from any surrounding forests or parks or other green areas to the inner city of Seattle would take, and it could very well be possible that Stacey just really wanted to make sure that Blaine's body wouldn't be found and had him buried really far away in any of the surrounding National Parks or national forests - and from google maps tells me, public transport only goes so far and he'd have have walked the rest, which would explain why it's already noon.

(by the way, what do people without hyperfixiations do all day? Do you just ... not use bird-mating seasons and daylight hours and public transport schedules from a city on the other side of the globe to figure out the date and time of day of tv-show events?)

But this is where speculation actually starts:

As the audience, we learn that Blaine is returning to zombie state before he gets abducted:

he can't really taste his wine anymore (and god, is he whiny about it.)

What we don't know is whether Blaine connects the dots.

What does happen is that Blaine abandons his mission of getting wine-drunk over the woes of having to pay back his debts to Mr Boss and instead suggests that Candy and he have genie costume role-play sex. Candy apparently considers this a delightful and charming notion and agrees - and they go to have sex inside another couple's coffin. Which is fitting bc now they're both dying - Blaine from reverting to zombie form and Candy because she is now infected as well. Though it need be said that as the audience, we only learn about Candy's infection after Blaine’s abduction, when Don E finds her eating the coffin owners' brains the next morning.

This also gives us some insight into the stage of his infection (which is a bit hard to tell with Blaine because he's already dyeing his hair white) - He's already infectious and showing symptoms. We had characters like Sloane who even got turned after clinical death - so at this point, Blaine's probably pretty fit to withstand some throat cutting.

Now this leaves us with two working theories:

Either: Blaine doesn't know he's a zombie again. And really thought he was going to die in the forest, up until the point at least that he survived having his throat cut or until he found himself buried alive and started digging his way back up. The latter probably being the most terrifying option. (Also: this had me thinking about how something very similar happened to Liv - she fell off the boat in the Pilot episode - and then she wakes up in a body bag. Which most likely means she died of drowning.)

Or: He did know.

Unlike most people who get turned, Blaine already knows the signs. That's personally the theory that I'm partial to. The biggest reason being that one episode later, he actually argues in favour of letting Mr Boss continue to think that he's dead - so getting abducted and faking his death actually played pretty well into his hands. Also, he very abruptly switches subjects from drinking to sleeping with Candy. And not only is infecting people kind of Blaine's thing - he also now has the perfect alibi of allegedly not knowing that he's contagious again. He gets to tie Candy to him and his business (and his brains) with perfect plausible deniability if he says he didn't know he was a zombie again. Sure, there might be some hard feelings but what can she really do? She's gonna need the brains. That's a pretty classic Blaine plan.

(there is also the third option - which is that he can tell that he's turning back but because this round of zombificiation is very different from his first one he can't really tell what's happening to him or where he's at. So if he suspects that he's turning but can't really tell what's going inside his body at this point - sleeping with Candy is still a good strategy to find out (because either she turns and he knows he's a zombie again AND he pretty much guaranteed her loyalty to his brain business OR she doesn't turn - and he at least got some nookie out of it. Plus, she's probably more likely to go along with that than with experimental scratching or blood-sharing.)

Either way, they gave him an incentive not to reveal his reversion, if he noticed it, to Candy - and we know he actively wanted to make Mr Boss believe that he's dead so he doesn't really have much incentive to put up a big fight or reveal himself or go into rage state either, during his abduction. (In this context it's interesting to point out that neither in the car nor in the woods do they have a gun to his head. So if he knows he's a zombie and he actively wanted to get away, his odds would actually have been higher taking his chances with a surprise tackle and a jump out of the car than letting them bring him wherever they're bringing him.

Which then brings me to his 'execution':

Another thing that stands out is that there isn't a lot of blood for someone who had just had his jugular cut, even after several seconds of lying in the grave.

There is the Doylist interpretation (tv restrictions) and the Watsonist one - he's a zombie, so obviously he doesn't bleed much. Though, on iZombie these explanations often go hand in hand and the zombie-thing is a way of having the characters suffer severe injuries without too much gore going on. The reason I'm bringing this up is that - if this is considered weird inside the reality of the show (the Watsonist level), then there is a surprising lack of reaction from the three seasoned murderers witnessing this scene. No one going "Wait why isn't he bleeding properly???"

On the other hand, pretty much the same gambit works on the same people from Don E at the end of the season and he canonically is a zombie, so it seems fair to attribute this to their expectation that someone who has his throat cut and is not moving is probably dead enough.

So that's that for Mr Boss' guys, but the real question is -

what's going on with Blaine.

Now, throughout the show, we see several zombies suffer severe throat injuries. (And in fact, several of those people are Blaine because he's just such a popular guy) We have our poor pal Luta, who got stabbed into side of his neck with a Balisong -

Luta ends up almost completely losing his voice from this, something that doesn't really seem to add up in light of the healing abilities of the other zombie characters, but I'm willing to ascribe it to his vocal cords healing back together wrong or scarring in a way that makes it difficult to produce sound which is a condition that normal humans can get from as much as over-using their voice. Since we saw the wound having formed a scar in a later episode, I think that's as good an explanation as any.

Our biggest example would be Dino who literally gets beheaded -

(and that's one I really don't know how to explain beyond being an example of the extreme durability of zombies. But still, there is no way to make sense of this physiologically. You need lungs to produce sound or to speak.)

But the most obvious example...would still be Blaine himself because we see him get shot, stabbed, impaled through his throat and whatnot:

In Eat A Knievel, he gets shot through the throat and basically shows hardly any physical reaction at all:

And then, just a few episodes later -

They actually put a ...kind of popping sound-effect over this that I interpret as indicating a bone/spinal injury but again, there isn't much of a physical reaction beyond entering zombie-mode - something that didn't happen on either of the other occasion (maybe a reaction to the pin still being stuck inside?)

Anyway, both of these injuries are definitely much more severe than having his throat just cut - which really just relies on the rapid drop in blood pressure and the blood loss to kill you. Both of which don't really matter much for zombies (and, as I said, considering the lack of blood loss in the forest- scene, that probably wasn't much of an issue any more at this point/stage of re-zombification.)

So yeah, assuming all that, let's remember our two (and a half) options for the forest-scene: Blaine knows he's a zombie/He doesn't know/He suspects it.

Either Blaine doesn't know/isn't sure he's a zombie at this point - then this is the point where he definitely would find out. In that scenario, he'd actually think/consider the chance that he might be dying when he gets his throat slit, maybe react to the pain or enter some state of shock.

Considering that we still see a little bit more blood on him in the forest scene as compared to the other occasions, his cardiovascular system might still not have returned to zombie-baseline entirely and have supported his body somewhat. In which case maybe he is experiencing the symptoms of blood loss or rapid drop in blood pressure - but less severely/fatally - which might explain weakness or even unconsciousness. In which case he really would be waking up underground OR while they're filling up the grave.

On the other hand, if he's far enough along into rezombification (and possibly even aware of it) - - -

He could just be faking the whole thing. He might really just be faking the neck-clutching, the unconsciousness. In fact, considering the level of drama he has falling into that grave and his history/future of faking stuff, I wouldn't put this past him.

But this interpretation also adds a whole new level of insanity to what's happening. Now, I don't know how long it really would take to fill up a grave (and I suspect it has a lot to do with ground conditions and what not) but ...I suspect it does take a while, even for two dudes. Let's give it more than half an hour. Especially considering they do a pretty good job with that grave (until Blaine breaks through the ground again, the spot looks perfectly smooth and untouched).

This means, Blaine would not only have been inside his grave, digging his way up for about 12 hours - he was also fully conscious and playing dead while he was getting buried. That would mean he was just lying there while they shovel several hundred kilogrammes of dirt on top of him. Apparently being very optimistic that he will be able to dig his way out (before he goes Romero).

He did manage, I guess. But it's still a gamble.

So that's...just there.

But that also raises the question: If he knows or is beginning to suspect or realise that he's a zombie again - what exactly is stopping him from putting an end to this? I doubt that they kept a gun trained on a dead body that whole time. And with everyone busy with shovelling and he himself being a zombie, that would have been the perfect opportunity to get out of that situation. He could just enter rage mode and maul them. Actually, this was so far my biggest argument against Blaine knowing that he's a zombie or against him being actually conscious while getting buried - and again, that's just all personal speculation.

But I still wondered: Wouldn't it have been more useful to him to just kill Mr Boss there and then rather than fake his own death? In fact, it's just three dudes, he's a zombie, two are probably busy digging. And they're already in the most secluded area that he could ever hope to get Stacey in. There's even a grave ready to throw them into.

Except, then I realised something else -

So at this point, if something happens to Mr Boss, he'd lose his immunity - which is the only thing keeping Clive and Dale from putting into prison for 10 years for his old drug charges. (And I guess he loses access to Peyton which we know he also isn't hyped for). So yeah, that makes Mr Boss more useful for him alive than dead - as long as Boss in turn thinks Blaine's dead.

And on a completely related but also wildly different note:

(and this is where I abandon speculation and interpretation in favour of completely making things up) I talked about how being buried alive for a whole night, desperately trying to dig yourself up for hours would probably be a highly traumatising experience for a person. Like...that's the kind of shit that gives you a lifetime of claustrophobia one might imagine.

But the really interesting thing is, Blaine loves to threaten to do this to other people:

I mean, he really likes doing that - especially with the added threat of burying people alive in them. Or unalive. For all eternity. Now I hear you say 'well, he has a funeral home now, so that's probably convenient to dispose of them that way'.

But let me provide a counter-argument:

Shit's expensive.

He specifically mentions that Mr Boss' casket is mahogany. He has a human-sized freezer in the basement, he could be giving him the same treatment he did Major in season 1 (which was also a confined space he locked him into, mind you). He also has a human-sized incinerator where he can dispose of bodies. And a giant collection of tools to cut into and rearrange bodies with. But no, his favourite torture method is really that: Locking people into small spaces and abandoning them. Even dumping Angus into the well holds up with that.

In fact, when it comes to actually torturing Angus into changing his will in The Whooper - he let's Chief and Candy do that - while he walks away.

Now, with Angus, it's all a lot more direct and intentional - Blaine even spells it out himself in that scene:

It's revenge for ignoring his pleas for help when he was a child. So he's now ignoring his father while Chief and Candy can do whatever they like with him and he's going to ignore it in turn. I mentioned in another post how a lot of Blaine's anger at Angus is actually less about the physical abuse his father put him through - but he seems at least much, if not more, occupied with feelings of betrayal and abandonment due to his father's absences and disregard for him.

And in fact, it makes a lot of sense considering that he was (intentionally or not) abandoned by both his parents - his mother because she withdrew more and more from her husband's abuse and Angus because he's...well, Angus. Not to mention his grandfather being institutionalised which probably also meant losing access to him. Heck, damn kid even lost his dog which was probably the only living being still left who paid attention to him at home.

A lot of the stuff we learn about that Blaine did in his childhood (like stealing his mother's beloved earrings - instead of literally anything else on their fucking estate he could have sold) really resonate as a bid for attention more than anything. And it's pretty much a behaviour that continues into adulthood - from the way he inflicts himself on Liv and Ravi sometimes, the way he keeps bragging and lying to Al Bronson about how popular and happy he is, the way he starts being drawn in by his father actually showing an interest in him in season 4, the way Major manages to get his attention with promises of statues and schools named after him - he just really, really likes being noticed, whether that be in a good or a bad way. - - - so the threat of burying someone alive somewhere for all eternity and no one will ever know about their suffering - actually seems like he's subconsciously drawing on his own experiences of something he experienced as particularly terrifying and torturous as a child: His suffering being ignored.

Now add to that his very specific love of torturing people by forcing them into confined spaces for as long as he feels like it -

(again, I'm all out on the limb of speculation here but I don't look a gift parallel in the mouth.)

So yeah, 12 hours in a hole digging his way up or being forgotten out there and going Romero in the ground.

I don't think that was fun for him.

And then it's never mentioned again because...this is not all that deep, okay??? I'm normal about this.

#izombie #fandom

[hotarutranslations]

The 25th Anniversary!

"Morning Musume Best Selection ~The 25th Anniversary~"

Today, finally, is the release day!

Thank you very much! Its finally here, I'm happy--!

I've said it again and again but, the size of the limited first edition, its an unconventional size 🤩lol

The case is as big as if it had a record, with the CDs and Blu-ray there are 4 discs

Exciting🔥

There are Tsunku-san notes towards the album as well,

🎈About the completely originals songs 🎈Towards Disc 2, Songs That Are Popular With The Members and Are Also Used A Lot in Live Performances

Please definitely read it

But with this, Its impossible to cram in all 25 years, As expected, isn't it funny lol

Its the 25th anniversary,

Thank you very much, to so many people😌🍀

15th anniversary, and with the 20th anniversary as well, I'm thankful for also experiencing that as well but,

As a person, my consciousness of it became clear year by year so,

I feel the importance of things more now, The joy in celebrating is also great❤️‍🔥

I regret not being a human who was conscious towards it for the 15th Anniversary 😕I also did my best at 15 though 😕lol

Therefore re-recording songs that released in the past, its a time that really feels like a dream!

I talk about this,

#117 "Morning Musume Best Selection ~The 25th Anniversary~" Is Packed With, Dreams, Admiration And Charm

If you wouldn't mind reading this here……😌🍀

This album packed with love is complete

Definitely, the 12 member's voices, Also the voices of the 14 of us with 17th generation, Rearranged songs (↑in particular with We're Alive)

Please enjoy it❤️‍🔥

"Hello! Station #493" Morning Musume Album Commemorative Release Mini Live "Nanzansho Souzansho" OCHA NORMA "Shekenaare" Kitchen & Lyrics MC: Uemura Akari & Nishida Shiori

We performed for the first time at Ikebukuro Sunshine Fountain Square "Nanzansho Souzansho" Uploaded🎈

Also--!!!!!!!!

Yesterday,

HaroTsuGAMES

The live stream, We had it from 10:30~1:20AM! Thank you very much!

It was too much fun---😭❤️

"Hello Pro" Morning Musume '23 Fukumura Mizuki, Ishida Ayumi Play Famicon Masterpiece "NEW Super Mario"

I thought it was such a good Ayumizuki time but,

To be modest, what did everyone think of it?

🤭lolol

Really, thanks to Fukumura-san who was always recommending me after saying I wanted to go on, since I received this opportunity, thank you very much, I'm happy we could do it together😭🩷💙

I am aware, that Ishida was noisy but, I didn't fully notice the whispers from Fukumura-san, the comment section? was like, lololol and, I laughed while watching the archive

Thats right, I already watched the archive! I watched it as soon as I got home yesterday! ……before I realized it, it was already morning! lol

Yesterday was a really late night, thank you very much for your support🏅

I thought, I want to do it again!! I super duper conveyed that!!

Certainly! Please enjoy it again!

see you ayumin <3

#Ishida Ayumi #Morning Musume '23 #Morning Musume #Fukumura Mizuki #Hello! Project #translation #Blog

[pzfr]

📱 - For... Hakkona? Or Torno, whichever you'd prefer! :)

Send in a 📱 for a text conversation between our muses

Rex [TXT] (11:05am): hakkona volleyball game is going down soon by the beach we're short a player can you step in

-

[hours later] Torno [TXT] (11:05pm): I do not understand why you are playing sports so late. Rex [TXT] (11:06pm): ??? Hakkona [TXT] (11:06pm): No I got that too. Dad?? The match was in the morning Torno [TXT] (11:07pm): Ah. Torno [TXT] (11:08pm): Carry on...

-

[On a 1-on-1 text. Or so they thought.] Rex [TXT] (12:00am): oh I think I made an emergency group chat once and forgot about it because crisis was averted like, immediately. Hakkona [TXT] (12:02am): oh lol and then dad got am and pm mixed up Torno [TXT] (12:02am): Am not currently confusing them. It is even later now.

Rex [TXT] (12:04am): you know what I'll just head to bed before this gets more muddled

Rex [TXT] (12:05am): [Rex has left the group chat]

Hakkona [TXT] (12:06am): [Hakkona has left the group chat]

Torno [TXT] (12:06am): Kids these days...

Shuen [TXT] (12:20am): aw man I missed the discussion! D:

#museincarnate #[ask] letters column #[IC] Stand A Chance

[certifiedtarotbarbie]

A Realistic Morning Routine for the working girly...

As you guys may know I am in the process of creating my dream girl and a part of that if you haven't read my 12 Characteristics of my dream girl post is OPTIMIZING MY TIME BY SIMPLIFYING PROCESSES.

One of the most important aspects of the day is the morning routine. While I love the long soft life morning routines, I do truly aspire to live that life. My reality right now is working 10+ hour days, commuting 45 minutes one-way. So I can only afford a slimmed-down weekday morning routine if I don't want to sacrifice sleep. So here it is, the morning routine for a working girl.

TOTAL TIME: 1hr 20mins

6am - rising & morning pep talk, & gratitude

6:05am to 6:10am - drink water & take vitamins (i drink water before brushing my teeth so my body knows what enzymes to make, this is also beneficial for the immune system)

6:10am to 6:30/35am - this is my personal time, I use this time to stretch pray, meditate, & journal. I don't do all of these every day but I go based on my mood. This time is really about checking in with yourself

6:30am to 7am - this is time to get dressed and ready for the day since I pick my clothes out on Sundays for the week this is quick and easy. I will brush my teeth if I haven't already, take a quick shower (10mins) and slick my hair back into a bun or fluff my wash and go. My make-up is simple INNBEAUTY Face Glaze, mascara, and sometimes a little blush/highlighter...

7am to 7:10am - I will make my breakfast and pack my lunch if I haven't already (sometimes I do this the night before). Breakfast is usually vegan yogurt or oatmeal with fruit and honey, I put granola in the yogurt as well. I have a thermos for food and one for tea as well. Right now I am enjoying a sweet tangerine blend with ashwagandha for the morning time. I’ll enjoy these when I get to work.

7:10am to 7:20am - I pack my bag for the day, most of the time the same items remain but i like to clean out receipts & organize cash. Grab an umbrella if needed etc... and I will smoke as well usually I have a joint rolled from the night before. I must be out the door by 7:20 lest I be late haha.

[shiftysarah]

April 23, 2024:

Here I am again, up with boy at 4:20am, even though I also had the midnight shift, even though I was also the one to put the kids to bed in the first place at 8:30. Even though I’m the one with an alarm set for 6:30am to get the kids ready for school. Boy is wide awake and has no intention of going back to sleep, so I guess I don’t get to either.

6:30pm - Man asks if it’s ok if he hangs out in his office and of course I say that’s fine, because why not? Nothing has happened yet.

8:30pm - He doesn’t come out to help put the kids to bed but that’s fine because Girl passed out on the couch so I just have to carry her to bed and then hang out with Boy until he does the same.

12:00am - We are both still awake, but I was trying to sleep, and Man wasn’t. He was just like playing a game or something. Boy wakes up. I suggest that Man be the one to take care of him since I’m already trying to sleep. He says, “I’d really prefer if you take this one because he’s gonna say he just wants mommy.” This is frustrating because Boy was not fussy or crying, and those are the times when he just wants Mommy. Man could easily have taken this shift.

4:00am - Boy wakes up again. At first he’s not fussy at all. But when I remind Man that it is his turn, he just lays in bed huffing and puffing and waiting until Boy gets upset at being ignored and is eventually whining that he only wants Mommy (because he hears me repeatedly asking Man to get up) Eventually Boy gets realizes he has to pee, and announces it, and runs to the bathroom, but on his way he sneezed. He had a lot of snot from the sneeze and asked for help. I nudged and said “Man..” he cut me off and throwing the covers back angrily and saying “God Damn it, of COURSE, he would fucking sneeze!” He angrily gets up and goes to wipe Boy’s nose and then help him go potty. Then instead of taking Boy to the living room or his room to get him back to bed, he brings him back to our room and has him climb in bed with me. Man takes this as a win because he gets to immediately go back to sleep. But Boy is climbing on me, taking up my pillow and blanket, and talking at full volume, because he’s fully awake. He won’t let me go back to sleep, and is just going to keep asking questions. So I give up and take him out to the living room. And here is we are. No idea if he will go back to sleep. So far it doesn’t seem like it. It would be nice if I could eventually trade off with Man so I could get some sleep, but at this point he is just going to huff and puff and cuss and throw things if I ask again. Because in his mind, he has been woken up too many times already. The only thing he actually did was wipe a face and a butt.

*Update from the morning*

Me “im really frustrated with how last night went. Can I go over a timeline with you of what all happened, without you getting defensive so that we can talk about how we can do things differently next time?”

Him “No I already know what you’re going to say. I need to help more”

And then went on to complain about how HE didn’t get enough sleep because he worked all day yesterday and needs sleep.

#emotional abuse #marriage problems #parenting #weaponized incompetence #sleeplees night

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, February 20th, 2024!

8:20am: Phew, that was fun, back to business now 😎 business of being a bachelorette 🤪 it's so cold I need to hook up the heated blanket bc I did that thing where I crumple up in my sleep then the stomach and back hurt from literally constricting all night. Also need to do laundry so I can get my warm clothes, they're all wet and sickly 🙃 need to start studying today (RIP this quiz) and not get another L. And also not get sick again, I need to handle these gum blisters. High key this is what happens when I have to entertain for a weekend like I am immediately behind on just so much shit. But it's so worth it ❤️ I love my family

12:22pm: Well I just don't know anymore. Every time I think I've done the worst unimaginable thing, I seem to one up myself?? I'm inflicting the karma personally now, but I don't know how to say I truly didn't mean to. Maybe my subconscious meant to. I have no fucking idea. But can we talk about how I haven't seen rain like that in months, probably won't see it again for several months, like it was just a damn bad sign. I still just think it was part of his personal karma, I just really didn't think it would get wet like that bc it hasn't rained like that since the literal summer. I think he hates me now. Well. Ok I can't do anything about that. Welp. Just kinda have no words, I was literally in fight or flight mode and he will never understand that he's the fucking reason. Fight or flight is not a reasonable train of thought in that situation. No shit I did something that makes no sense I was shaking terrified. And he doesn't fucking realize he's the goddamn reason. Good riddance.

3:09pm: well I think he blocked me on everything. A rain storm took out 8 years of friendship. And this is the what, 900th time he's chosen material objects, replaceable possessions over me? 901st time he's chosen paper, a piece of paper, over speaking to me ever again I guess. I guess I'm the shitty person, not him who lied and cheated on front of my face, nope me, who was shaking too anxious freaking out in my apartment bc he threatened my brother five days before coming to town 🤷

3:39pm: maybe this is my karma for hitting on a guy in a relationship, we just are no longer friends. Well I guess she got what she wanted, he is getting what he wants, which is to finally be able to blame me for something, and I get to have them both out of my life. This is the world now. The world is still turning.

4:00pm: It's like he was just looking for a reason to block me, just like he was looking for any reason to cheat, to leave, to break up, to move out, any little thing that could be a provoking reason and just running with it. I'm done.

I know this is technically my fault, I have apologized. Everything still feels abusive though. I was just trying to save myself, I was being selfish. But um hello so is cheating. He's not better than me and in my opinion he's still much worse than anything I've ever done to him. It's just things.

I would hope if something is actually going to come of this, his grandma would give me a warning first or something. I want to call her but I feel like everything is too heated. Let me go home, blow my nose and use the bathroom, maybe I'll call her tonight.

4:48pm: TBH we always talk about forgiving these stupid assholes. Why don't I forgive myself for this? I forgive myself. Even if I did it subconsciously, even if I was being a bitch in the back of my mind (I really don't feel this way) it's more like I was just tired of thinking about it! And look at me, thinking about it now. It's over. Whatever. He wants to take me to small claims or something? Whatever I'll live. He wants to run a smear campaign on me? Didn't he already do that? I'm still alive. He wants to take the cats as revenge? I'll live, they'll live, life goes on. If something happens to them that will be his shit I guess. I forgive myself and C said it, I'm already being Way. Too. Nice. Everybody would agree with me. I can't even bring it up bc ppl will be like ?? You still talk to him ?? Ppl would be so confused. I did the best I could without causing myself unnecessary stress on a weekend when I didn't want stress. Was I journaling this weekend? Fuck no there was a reason for that, because I was actually being happy living life. That's why y'all didn't hear from me tf. Healing continues though so we're back, still gonna push forward though.

5:19pm Damn yeah he blocked me on everything! What was even the point of speaking to me. That's fucked up to confront someone about something, something so materialistic, and then not accept an apology. Whatever. Good luck with life, good luck being a petty ass mf, acting like you're some heaven on earth angel who can do no wrong, fuck you.

5:34pm: I told my brother what happened, and he helped me feel better, I wish he lived closer to here but texting is ok now :) my family is just everything ❤️ I tried my best, it's over now, like a fever dream. On to find someone else to give my love and effort to 🥰 I'm just gonna give it to myself for now.

[midnightutopia]

01.31.24

12:20am

Todays gratitude (:

- im grateful I finished, well mostly finished, my cover letters for the practicum fair tomorrow

- I'm grateful I was able to have some free time today to paint and talk with my mom

- my mom and I have a beautiful relationship, and I'm grateful that when I caught myself getting angry tonight, I took a step back and looked inward as to what was annoying me. After I sorted myself out, I was able to have a wonderful conversation with my mom

- I'm really grateful for my mom and Ik these moments wont last forever, so I am cherishing the time I have with her instead of being sad about the day she passes. Sometimes I'm worried I can't live without her

- I'm grateful for my brain and my capacity to sit down for so so many hours and push myself. Im grateful that I made studying enjoyable and that I like doing it.

- I'm grateful for the opportunity to take care of my health, drink lots of water and eat lots of fruits and veggies and work out

- im grateful for the fact that when I hear myself participating in negative self talk, I contradict it and push my self to remember how smart I am and how capable I am. And look back at all the people who think I'm really smart. Just because I'm precious, soft, and cute does not make me not smart and wise.

[bike42]

Friday - Saturday January 12-13, 2024

Last full day at Aguila. We had our usual leisurely breakfast, quiet with most of the others out on excursions. We put on our swim suits and hiking shoes and headed down the trail, stopping a several beautiful beaches that we had mainly to ourselves again. It was a bit slippery after last nights rain, but Jeff is adept at finding us sticks to use for hiking poles.

We walked about 2.5 miles out, swam, sat against a log and read for a bit, then walked back to catch the end of lunch. Everyone was back from their excursions so the place was a-buzz. Jeff had his Kilimanjaro t-shirt on, and a young couple from CA wanted to know all about it as it’s their goal to do all seven summits. Always fun for us to find people who want to hear our stories… we have a lot of them!

Same afternoon routine, hammock, nap, read, shower, and down to the Jungle Bar for G&Ts and cribbage (were evenly matched this trip, but JT is ahead on our travel rivalry scoreboard). We sat with some new people at dinner - a couple from PA, and a couple from the UK. We’ve lost track of how many new people we’ve met during our 8 nights here! The pattern seems to be to come from three nights … and do snorkeling at Cano Island one day, and Corcovado NP the next, then off to somewhere else for three nights. It’s what we did last September in the UK, but I think they miss the magic of immersing in the wonder of this area, and this resort specifically!

We said some goodbyes, then headed up to pack and rest up for our transition. I awoke to someone else’s alarm this morning before mine went off at 6am. We had breakfast, said more goodbyes (told the staff we’d see them next year) and boarded our water taxi at 7:30am. It was a fun ride, north along the coast for 15 minutes, then into the Sierpe River to the village of Sierpe. The river was a twisting path of mangroves, with the occasional house/dock - obvious erosion issue where they’d removed the mangroves. There were lots of boats out fishing, and boats loaded with tourists coming towards us. I wasn’t quite prepared for what we saw upon arrival at Sierpe - quite a bustling port! People getting off boats, and waiting for boats. About 20 different docks offering taxi services and car parking. We were surprised to see Aguila had its own dock, with Jimy there to greet us in an Aguila shirt. On the dock waiting to be loaded was a washing machine, a mattress and box set, and coolers full of things to be transferred. I would have loved to stay to watch them load the boat, but our ride was waiting.

Alex at the resort had arranged for Chino to pick us up and transport us to Dominical. Chino is Chinese, and didn’t speak much English but we did ok. We arrived in Dominical about 10am, which gave me time to hit a shop for new cheap sunglasses and a hat! At 10:20am our driver from Imiloa came with a 4x4 pickup. We know Chino’s van wasn’t going to make it up the road to Imiloa! We arrived about 10:35 am, just three hours after leaving the resort, relieved that it all worked out!

We relaxed for about 15 minutes before the others arrived in a series of taxis. We’d met Yolanda, the massage therapist, and wrangled ourselves into massages for today. So we skipped lunch and headed to our amazing room (booked the same as last year), where Yolanda was setting up her table on the balcony. I’m writing this from my hammock. Life is good!

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Just World Hypothesis: One reason we are still still talking about them by u/Equivalent-Date-4796

Just World Hypothesis: One reason we are still still talking about them There is a popular theory called "Just World Hypothesis" where we like to believe people get what they deserve and deserve what they get. It's why people feel sorry for crime victims but then try to find some small way to see if it "makes sense." "Oh, they didn't turn their security system on? Oh, we ALWAYS keep ours on! You can't just leave for a trip and do that!" Not blaming the crime victim, but that way "just world" and we don't have to worry that out of nowhere, our home may get robbed. Because we get what we deserve...and we will always have the alarm on!So Meghan doesn't deserve her position in life. She's a terribly mean person and, for all that has happened differently than what she wanted, she has way more than she deserves. She wanted to be Catherine, wanted power over even the Queen, tried to play hardball with her, etc. So, since she is a narcissist, she is seething that it didn't work out how she wanted. But, from an outsider's perspective, she has a lot more than most, and certainly way more than what she deserves. So we can't look away...we're thinking...this can't be right. This doesn't make sense. How did this happen? Mainly because she's a narcissist and she doesn't have the intelligence and/or the work ethic to become anything successful. So she looks at people who are successful and figures that if she acts like them, she will be successful. Sometimes, she may already view herself as being as amazing as them so she thinks, "Why wouldn't I act like that? I am the same as them." Either was, she is imitating with no good reason. There are narcissists in the world, and they have a lot of terrible traits and/or terrible relationships, but they are not necessarily lazy and stupid, as MM is. Therein lies the biggest issue here...if not for some odd combination of birth and luck, she wouldn't have been anything but ordinary. But her mediocre level of success, brought in part through her dad (although there a lot of "average" actresses so it's irrelevant) brought her the lucky break of Harry, only because Harry himself was so stupid.Otherwise, most people who are of her average level and have terribly narcissistic traits wouldn't be so much in the public eye and we wouldn't be subject to them. There are a great number of low-level celebrities and only BRF, so they are in the public eye still. It is what it is. So it's not "Just" and we keep waiting for it to become that way. So let's see if it ever happens. post link: https://ift.tt/TZ2Hh46 author: Equivalent-Date-4796 submitted: October 12, 2023 at 06:20AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

#SaintMeghanMarkle #harry and meghan #meghan markle #prince harry #voetsek meghan #sussexes #markled #archewell #megxit #duke and duchess of sussex #duchess of sussex #duchess meghan #duke of sussex #harry and meghan smollett #walmart wallis #harkles #megain #spare by prince harry #fucking grifters #meghan and harry #Heart Of Invictus #Invictus Games #finding freedom #doria ragland #WAAAGH #Equivalent-Date-4796