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intersexbookclub · 6 months

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Discussion summary: Left Hand of Darkness

Published in 1969, The Left Hand of Darkness is a classic in science fiction that explores issues of sex/gender in an alien-yet-human society where the aliens are just like us except in how they reproduce. These aliens, the Gethenians, can reproduce as either male or female. They spend most of their lives sexually undifferentiated. Once a month, they go into heat (“kemmer”) and their sexual organs activate as either male or female (it’s essentially random).

Here's a summary of the discussions we had on 2023-08-25 and 2023-09-01 about the book:

HIGH LEVEL REACTONS

Michelle (@scifimagpie): even though it was written by a cis straight perisex woman there is a queerness to the writing that feels true and that she nailed. There is a queerness to the soul of this book that still holds up, that's true and good, and I cannot but love and respect that.

Elizabeth (@ipso-faculty): this book is such a commentary on 1960s misogyny. Genly is a raging misogynist. It takes a whole prison break and crossing the arctic for Genly to realize a woman or androgyne can be competent 👀

Dimitri: [Having read just the first half of the book] I wonder if it keeps happening, if Genly keeps going "woaaaah" [to the Gethenians’ androgyny] or if he ever acclimates. It's been half the novel my guy

vic: yeah a book where a guy is destroyed by seeing a breast makes me want queer theory

vic: [it also] makes me feel good to see how much has changed [since the 1960s]

THE INTERSEX STUFF

A thing we appreciated about the book was how being intersex is contextual. The main character of the book, Genly Ai, is a human from a planet like Earth, who visits Gethen to open trade and diplomatic relations.

On his home planet, and to Earth sensibilities, Genly is perisex - he is able to reproduce at any time of the month and is consistently male.

But on Gethen, Genly becomes intersex. On Gethen, the norm is that you only manifest (and can reproduce as) a given sex during the monthly kemmer (heat/oestrus) period.

The Gethenians understand Genly as living in “permanent kemmer”, which is described as a common (intersex) condition, and these people are hyper-sexualized and referred to as Perverts.

At this point it’s worth noting that depiction is not the same as endorsement. Michelle pointed out the book is very empathetic to those in permanent kemmer. LeGuin does not appear to be endorsing the social stigma faced by these people, merely depicting it, and putting a mirror to how our own society treats intersex people.

Throughout the book, Genly is treated as an oddity by the Gethenians. He is hyper sexualized. He undergoes a genital inspection to prove he is who he says he is.

When Genly is sent to a prison camp and forcibly given HRT, he does not respond “normally” to the hormones, the effects are way worse for him, and the prison camp staff don’t care, and keep administering them even if it’ll kill him.

Two of us have had the experience of having hyperandrogenism and being forced onto birth control as teenager, and relating to the sluggishness of the drugs that Genly experienced, as well as the sense that gender/sex conformity was more important to authority figures (parents, doctors) than actual health and well-being.

Another scene we discussed the one where Genly is in a prison van en route to the gulag, and a Gethenian enters kemmer and wants to mate with him and he declines. He is given multiple opportunities over the course of the book to try having sex with a Gethenian, and declines every time, and we wondered if he avoided it out of trauma of being hyper-sexualized & hyper-medicalized & having had his genitals inspected.

We discussed the way he described his genital inspection through a trauma lens, and how it interacts with toxic masculinity - in vic’s terms, Genly being "I am a manly man and I have don't trauma"

Those of us who read the short story, Coming of Age in Karhide, noted that once the world was narrated from a Gethenian POV, the people in permanent kemmer were treated far more neutrally, which gave us the impression that Genly as an unreliable narrator was injecting some intersexism along with his misogyny

WHY IT MATTERS TO READ THIS BOOK THROUGH AN INTERSEX LENS

Elizabeth: I’ve encountered critiques of this book from perisex trans folks because to them the book is committing biological essentialism, and dismissing the book as a result. I think they’re missing that this book is as much about (inter)sex as it is about gender. I think they’re too quick to dismiss the book as being outdated or having backwards ideas because they’re not appreciating the intersex themes.

Elizabeth: The intersex themes aren’t exactly subtle, so it kind of stings that I haven’t seen any intersex analyses of this book, but there are dozens (hundreds?) of perisex trans analyses that all miss the huge intersex elephants in the room.

Also Elizabeth: I’ve seen this book show up in lists of intersex books/characters made by perisex people, and I’ve seen Estraven listed as intersex character, and it gets me upset because Estraven isn’t intersex! Estraven is perisex in the society in which he lives. Genly is the intersex character in this story and people who misunderstand intersex as being able to reproduce as male & female (or having quirky genitals smh) are completely missing that being intersex is socially constructed and based on what is considered typical for a given species.

WHAT THE BOOK DOESN’T HANDLE WELL

The body descriptions. As Dmitri put it: “ Like "his butt jiggled and it reminded me of women" ew. It was intentional but I had to put the book down. It reminded me of transvestigators and how they take pictures of people in public.” 🤮

Not pushing Genly to reflect on how weird he is about other people’s bodies. We all had issues with how Genly is constantly scrutinizing the bodies of other humans to assess their gender(s) and it’s pretty gross.

vic asked: “how much of this is her reproducing violence without her knowing it? A thing I didn't like was how he always judging and analyzing people's bodies and realizing others treat him that way. And I wish there was more of his discomfort about this, that it made him feel icky.”

Dimitri added: “I really wanted him to have a moment of this too, for him to realize how much it sucks to be treated this way. As a trans person it's so uncomfortable. What are you doing going around doing this to people?”

Using male pronouns as default/ungendered pronouns. Élaina asked why Genly thinks a male pronoun is more appropriate for a transcendent God and pointed out there’s a lot to unpack there.

OTHER POSITIVES ABOUT THE BOOK

Genly’s journey towards respecting women, that he still had a ways to go by the end of the book. vic pointed out how “LeGuin was straight, and she loves men, and is kinda giving them the side-eye [in this book]. Her writing about how Genly is childish makes me really happy. It’s kind of hilarious to watch him bang his head against the wall because he’s so rigid.”

To which Dmitri added: “I agree with the bit on forgiving men for stuff. I don't know how she [LeGuin] does it but she really lays it all out. She gives you a platter of how men are bad at things, how they make mistakes that are pretty specific to them. She has prepared a buffet of it.”

Autistic Estraven! As Michelle put it: “autistic queer feels about Estraven speaking literally and plainly and Genly not getting it”

The truck chapter. Hits like a pile of bricks. We talked about it as a metaphor for the current pandemic.

The Genly x Estraven slowburn queerplatonic relationship

The conlang! Less is more in how it gets used

MIXED REACTIONS

The Foretelling. For some it felt unnecessary and a bit fetishy. For others it was fun paranormal times.

Pacing. Some liked how the book really forces you to really contemplate as you go. Others struggled with a pace that feels very slow to 2023 readers.

WORKS WE COMPARED THE BOOK TO

Star Trek (the original series) - we wondered if LHOD and Genly Ai were progressive by 1960s standards, and TOS came up as a comparison point. We were all of the impression that TOS was progressive for its time but all of us find it pretty misogynist by our standards. The interest in extra-sensory perception (ESP) is something that was a staple of TOS that feels very strange to contemporary viewers and also cropped up in LHOD

Ancillary Justice - for being a book where characters’ genders are all ambiguous but the POV character is actually normal about how they describe other characters’ bodies.

The Deep - for being another book in a situation where being able to reproduce as male and female is the norm. The Deep was written by an actually intersex author, and doesn’t have the cisperisex gaze of scrutinizing every body for sex. But oddly LHOD actually winds up feeling more like a book about intersex people, because it features a character who is the odd one out in a gonosynic society. In contrast, nobody is intersex in the Deep - everybody matches the norms for their species, which makes the intersex themes in the work much more subtle.

Overall, as vic put it, “there's something to be said about an honest depiction that's not great, especially when there's no alternatives”. For a long time there weren’t many other games in town when it came to this sort of book, and even though some things now feel dated, it’s still a valuable read. We’d love to see more intersex reviews & analyses of the book!

#intersex book club #book summaries #book reviews #left hand of darkness #the left hand of darkness #ursula k. le guin #intersex books #intersex literature #queer books #queer literature #queer fiction #queer scifi #intersex

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victimsofyaoipoll · 8 months

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Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Casca

She is part of a weird fucked up love triangle with two dudes. All three of them are honestly kind of terrible for each other but she gets shoved aside in favor of the two dudes in most fics and is not allowed to grow past the toxic relationships of her past. Also she’s a cis woman who dresses pretty masculinely (because she’s in a mercenary band) so she gets type casted as the mean lesbian friend, when she’s straight in canon

I've seen more than one Yaoi Shipper say that Casca should have died during this one big canon event as opposed to being assaulted by one of the people in the Yaoi Ship, which of course conveniently would remove her from the narrative and as an obstacle to said Yaoi Ship. Aside from that specifically, though, I think it's particularly cruel to imply that being killed is a better outcome than being a victim of SA, and is an example of the contempt fandom on the whole has for female characters who act traumatized - particularly when both male characters in the ship have similar trauma and its never implied they should have died rather than be assaulted.

She's an incredibly interesting character in her own right with really good dynamics and parallels to Griffith and Guts, and the way those three play off of each other is integral to the story, but most of what I've seen completely ignores her in favor of focusing on only Griffith and Guts

Yennefer

Constantly villainized because one way or another she gets in the way of a MLM ship (though at least one of them would probably be fine with a poly relationship). In the show version of her, her love interest bound her to him via magic, never told her until someone else brought it up despite it the bond causing them to meet over and over, her love interest didn’t understand why this upset her and brushed it off and still has never apologized for it because apparently it was the only way to save her life, she had better chemistry with Jaskier (the other half of the MLM ship) and had a semi-decent rivals to frenemies thing going on, the show took away her powers (which never happened in the books) to have her go on a pointless quest to get them back that worsened her relationship with her love interest because they had her try to kill her love interest’s adopted child (which now justifies why he doesn’t need to apologize of course), and all of that was after she’d already had an arc regarding sacrifice and how power wasn’t really what she wanted.

she's an incredibly powerful mage and drop dead gorgeous and deserved so much better!!! justice for yen

God forbid women do anything. She either gets hate or is ignored, really classic stuff. And she's Geralt's gf but you know, *gestures at geraskier*

#round 3 #poll #casca #casca berserk #berserk #yennefer of vengerberg #the witcher #the witcher netflix

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satelitis · 9 months

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in which johnny lawrence is in second place to daniel larusso yet again, but we all know boys don’t cry.

g/n reader x johnny lawrence / g/n reader x daniel larusso (he’s lowkey the villan in this lmfao—)

warnings: fighting,swearing,insecurity, toxic masculinity, emotional abuse in the household. ⚠️ANGST NO FLUFF HERE⚠️

based on the song boys don’t cry by the cure , thank you to spence ml @mictodii for the inspo <3

i would say i’m sorry if i knew that it would change your mind

verbal communication was not johnny lawrence’s strong suit. he tended to be a more action oriented human being. especially when he started bullying daniel larusso, soon after he first arrived in receda. all it took was one black eye to develop around daniels eye, for you to break things off with johnny.

it had only been 2 weeks since he had moved to receda but more fights had arose between you and johnny than you had ever had in your 9 and a half months of dating.

“i’m not dating a bully.” you told him forcefully, your y/c iris’ full of disappointment and animosity, were now trying to dig away at the guilt and hurt in his own.

but i know that this time i’ve said too much been too unkind.

“well it’s not my fucking fault that larusso always gets what he fucking wants! i have nothing left, so if your going to leave me for him that’s fucking fine with me i wouldn’t expect any less! just another brick in the fucking wall.” he spat, now making full eye-contact with you.

johnny immediately knew that he had fucked up but it was too late, your eyes once full of disappointment were now doused in confusion as you didn’t even know who you were talking to at this point. as you bit the inside of your cheek, you turned around and walked the other way not wanting to say another word to johnny as you ventured home.

the moon didn’t shine that night. nor did the stars. the plethora of clouds had made it hardly visible to view the only thing you could count on one hundred percent of the time.

i try to laugh about it , cover it all up with lies.i tried to laugh about it hiding the tears in my eyes.

the next day at school you didn’t look, nor speak to johnny lawrence. he gazed at you from across the halls and lunchroom but it didn’t fix anything.

“johnny what happened between you and y/n?” bobby asked, as he had noticed you hadn’t even acknowledged johnny. johnny laughed bitterly.

“nothing man, we’ve just been off lately, nothing major.” he told the blonde boy as he looked at you, a bright smile on your face as none other than daniel larusso was talking you. joking with you. making you laugh.

cause boys don’t cry, boys don’t cry.

johnny glared at the brunette, trying not to let tears form in his eyes.

i would break at your feet and beg for forgiveness, plead with you but i know that it’s too late and there’s nothing i can do.

johnny had came up with a plan to get you back and apologize. he had bought you your favorite flower and was going to surprise you. he even wrote out a thorough thought out apology in hopes that you would forgive him and he could get you back.

soon enough, every fiber in johnny was inflamed with resentment and anger. daniel larusso had his arm wrapped around your shoulder. he was kissing your cheek. and he was complimenting you.

so i tried to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies, i tried to laugh about it cover the tears in my eyes.

that night bobby had called johnny to see how it went.

“so johnny did you get the girl back?” he asked him. johnny chuckled.

“nah man it’s funny cause she wasn’t home. her mom said she was out with her friends so..yeah.” he lied straight through his teeth. the moments of you and daniel playing in your head again. tears soon began to spill uncontrollably.

“woah johnny man, are you crying? hey it’s okay man.” bobby tried to console once again over the phone. soon enough sid, johnny stepfather came up the stairs.

“boy would you quit that racket?! and stop crying like a little girl, cause boys dont cry! you hear me? boys don’t cry!”

i would tell you that i loved you if i knew that it would make you stay but i know that it’s no use and that you’ve already gone away.

johnny knew it from the day he met you, he loved you. he was just waiting for the right time to say it. however he never got to. daniel had taken you from him faster than a blink of an eye. it was too late. he wasn’t getting you back and he knew it. what was the point?

misjudged your limit, pushed you too far, took you for granted, thought that you needed me more.

johnny didn’t know when enough was enough. so when you broke up with him, he was distraught. he never really understood what he was missing till you were gone and far far from his reach and in daniels now. johnny truth be told couldn’t live without you, and unfortunately he had to find that out the hard way.

now i would do most anything to get you back by my side

johnny tried, and tried to get you to talk to him, and hear him out. but there was no use. you were happier with daniel. and he knew that and understood he had to come to terms with it as well. even if it was going to be hard. he valued your happiness over everything and if that happiness came from someone that wasn’t it, then so be it.

but i just keep on laughing, hiding the tears in my eyes

on the surface johnny seemed okay. he seemed as if he had moved on. sensei kreese had taught him to channel all his grief and anger into karate and cobra kai but within every laugh was hidden tears. because we all know. boys don’t cry.

fin.

AN: why did this lowkey suck. okay bye.

#karate kid x reader #karate kid imagine #karate kid fanfiction #johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence x reader oneshot #daniel larusso x reader #daniel larusso oneshot #song fic #angst #boys dont cry

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c-is-for-circinate · 9 months

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I would love to hear more mike wheeler - Steve Harrington masculinity thoughts (also whatever happened to Hopper to make him action guy my beloathed)! Also will we get a mike chapter for and they were married?

Okay yes! I am fascinated by Mike and Steve as narrative contrasts, and I always find myself looking for fic where the two of them meaningfully interact, and I keep meaning to write about them.

(Also: Mike deserves his own chapter of that fic, but he's getting folded into Dustin's. What Mike really deserves is his own fic that takes place in that universe, because I know what his deal is there and it's a doozy, but that is a very different post.)

Anyway! For starters, I don't think that Steve and Mike are intentionally meant to be foils. There's an element of it in the first season, where Steve exists to support Nancy's character, and Nancy and Mike are meant to be foils -- Steve is the Popular Kid, the antithesis of Mike and his friends' little group of nerds, he and Tommy and Carol are written into the same category as Troy but older and less actively murderous, and the fact that Nancy's dating him says things about her -- but they end up occupying oddly similar spaces and cool parallels come out of that anyway.

A core thing about it is that Steve and Mike are both the guy in their respective age group casts on the show. The Guy. The central one, the normal one, the presumed-to-be-straight one -- and yes, this is fandom and we have Opinions about that, but the Duffer brothers think they're both straight, and that matters here. They're white, they're able-bodied, they have money. They are, in a sense, normal.

Narratively, they very often act as central/POV character for scenes they're in, at least once Steve gets past the fistfight in S1 and awakens to the fact that he's a person who can make decisions. And that makes sense, because being The Guy also means they're the closest to the classic TV protagonist archetype, the guy who does the hero shit and gets the girl in the end. Hopper is also The Guy, and always has been: in S1 it's just him and Joyce, but even as we add more adults, the only real challenge to his The Guy status is Bob (which is of course why Bob had to die). Murray is a bizarre conspiracy nut, and queer-coded besides that. Owens is an affable bad guy. Alexei and Dmitri and Yuri are all Russian.

Being The Guy comes with a certain amount of baggage. All three of them have to be romantic leads, and have to be crossed in love about it. All three of them are protectors in one way or another. And all three of them are on occasion assholes who have one hell of a time with sincerity and affection.

And this is where we get into Toxic Masculinity, because again, while I don't think the Duffers intended a pile of parallels between these three guys, well. Firstly, The Guy as an archetype is built on a pile of toxic masculine stereotypes, so that's often there to begin with. Secondly, it's the same writers, so certain themes rhyme whether they're intended to or not.

In particular, one of the core tenets of toxic masculinity, not just in ST but as a thing in the world, is when and where it's acceptable to experience soft emotions of affection, care, and vulnerability. The first rule of toxic masculinity is don't. The second rule, the caveat rule, is a little asterisk saying 'except, occasionally, with a female romantic partner, if you absolutely must.'

And so we actually see a lot of unfolding of this in Steve! One thing we know about Steve, without precisely being told, is that he's deeply lonely -- for a popular kid he sure seems to only have two Actual Friends when the show starts and they hardly seem to even like each other. He has a new Favorite Person every season, and he clings to them with the joy of a devoted golden retriever. His mental image of happily-ever-after is a house full of kids with enough siblings to never get lonely, family vacations about close quarters and spending time together. We never see his parents. For all a lot of the 'horrible abuse' fanon is very much fanon, Steve is inarguably a lonely kid. And where do we see him reaching out for affection?

It's not Tommy and Carol, although until they break up he's constantly in their company unless he's alone with Nancy. They hardly even seem to like each other very much, and yet they've stayed at his empty house enough for Tommy to know about his mother's fireplace and Steve to insist he do laundry while he's here. No, the person who Steve is allowed to feel things with and for is Nancy, because she's the caveat, she's the exception. This is why Steve is consistently focused on getting Nancy back, getting a new girlfriend, getting a date. That's the rule!!!

The really fabulous thing about Steve's arc across the first three seasons, and even into S4, is that this quest for romantic affection and vulnerability is both thwarted and rewarded again and again. He tries to apologize to Nancy, to win her back: by the time he sees her again, Nancy's got a new boyfriend, but Steve has a new brother. Dustin is Steve's favorite person by the start of S3; he gets Steve's haircare secrets, he gets Steve's loyalty, he gets Steve's joy. In S3, Steve tries to pour his whole heart into a different girlfriend, and Robin turns him down flat while also simultaneously opening herself up with such vulnerability that they instantly become best friends. Robin is S4's Favorite Person, but the great thing about these relationships being platonic is that Steve gets to have more than one! He gets to have both Dustin and Robin in his life! He gets the other kids as part of the package! Bit by bit, instead of a girlfriend who Steve is "allowed" to be soft with, Steve gains actual friends who he gets to be real with whether it's allowed or not.

And the really tragic thing about Mike Wheeler is that he's doing the opposite. Mike starts out with three friends, three best friends, absolutely devoted to one another. As kids, they're young enough to be free of most of the stranglehold of toxic masculinity yet, although of course it's starting. And then there's El.

Mike charts a really interesting course over four seasons, and the shape of it is not a straight trajectory from 'Mike adores and is BFF with Will' to 'Mike thinks only about El.' Hell, from what we see of S1, the Party are all best friends pretty equally before Will goes missing -- Lucas is the one ready to break into a government lab for him, not Mike. Mike's trajectory is far more 'I derive the bulk of my personal self-worth from protecting other people, and as soon as somebody needs to be saved I go fully into Paladin Mode, making me feel worthwhile and important." It just so happens that the two people in Mike's field of vision who most generally need protection and saving are Will and El. Which leads to Mike's intense Will-focused devotion in S2 (El is gone but Will is also in really significant need, and Mike just straight-up activates, jumping immediately into solicitously taking care of his friend because Something Needs Doing And I Can Do It). And Mike's intense El-focused devotion in S4, where El needs a literal quest to come and rescue her. And just a lot of Mike in general.

The problem with all of that is the part where, unlike Steve who keeps forging new platonic relationships, Mike keeps neglecting his more and more. The S3 Will fight is so good at illustrating that, because look -- we all know Will has a crush on Mike, but at no point during that fight does Will ask, even subtextually, for romantic attention. He's asking for platonic attention, which Mike is absolutely failing to give. "Where's Dustin right now? You don't know, and you don't even care." But as Mike says, they're not kids any more -- and this is how growing up is supposed to work!

(Note: I don't want to say that it's toxic for Mike to be in love with El, or really caught up in that relationship -- he's fourteen! she's his first girlfriend! he thought she was dead! But Mike's an asshole in S3 because he's caught up enough to not notice his friend's feelings until they explode at him, and yeah, I do think part of that is because he knows he's Not Supposed To.)

S4 is a lot, because here's where we're really seeing the culmination of a lot of what Mike's been unfortunately moving towards. We've hit a point where those vulnerable feelings that Mike's allowed to share, at most, with his girlfriend, feel like too much to even share with his girlfriend. He can't say 'I love you'. He can't even talk to Will. The conversation he does have with Will is honestly mostly about Mike and his feelings of inadequacy, of not measuring up, not being special, but it has to be couched in the context of El. If there's a reverse-Bechdel test to be done on S4, past the very first episode I'm pretty sure Mike fails it -- I don't think he has a single conversation that isn't about his girlfriend in one capacity or another.

In contrast, S4 Steve is, yes, pretty focused on girls-in-general and Nancy-in-specific, and yeah, there's a little bit of backsliding going on there. But he's also having conversations with Robin about her fears and longings, having weird little interludes where Eddie's the one bringing up Nancy rather than Steve himself. He's hurt at the end when Nancy is clearly still with Jonathan, but he's able to move on, to go fold clothes and care about Robin's love life instead of his own -- his optimistic happy ending in S4 is that his best friend is going to get the girl, not him.

I think there's a lot more to say, which I only brushed on briefly here, about other aspects of Mike and Steve that work in parallel or contrast -- their protector thing, which feels very intrinsic but shows up very differently in both of them, the way Steve says 'I love you' so easily and Mike has trouble saying it at all, the way they are both very much extremely normal guys, at least on paper. There's so much to say. I think that has to be a different post.

I will say, in terms of Hopper: Jim Hopper is what it looks like when those pent-up feelings that you aren't allowed to express to anybody other than a romantic partner sit and fester for decades. Fuck, there were things about Vietnam he didn't even tell his wife, that sat like poison both emotional and biological between them. When we meet him in S1, he's processing grief with drugs and drinking and processing fear with rage. He has spent so much of the past four seasons processing fear as rage.

Of course Joyce is the one person he's allowed to, sometimes, on occasion, be soft with. Of course nearly his every interaction with Mike is macho dominance posturing. Of course the entire trajectory of his relationship with El is a push-pull of Hopper retreating into authoritarianism and anger instead of the terror of honesty, and then getting to see the consequences of that when his daughter pulls away. Every season has broken him down a little more that way, but then the yo-yo pulls back (Season 3 whyyyyyyyyy). By Season 4, he's been beaten and starved and frozen and shattered enough that we get maybe the most honest monologue of his life, to a Russian prison guard, because they're about to die so what do the rules matter any more. It's a clear window into an endless pit of self-loathing, because for twenty or thirty years Hopper's been letting those feelings eat in instead of out, and bit by bit they've been devouring him.

El is hope, for him, and Joyce is hope, and the cracks that broke open in Kamchatka to maybe let in a little more air that might not seal right back up again are hope. But it's hard. It's hard! It makes him an absolute asshole, including and especially towards the people he wants most to protect. (And there's that protector thing again.)

Anyway, I am on the record as liking Steve a lot and having very little patience for Mike and Hopper, but like. They're not that different, at their core. They just put the pieces together in a different order.

#stranger things #driveby meta attack #asked and answered #shit this is really making me want to write those D&D class breakdowns I keep promising #maybe I'll get to one or two of those this weekend #mike wheeler #steve harrington #jim hopper #at least a bit

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ugh-yoongi · 4 months

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inspired by your post about your husband lol, what random things do each member of bts do that make them a new level hotter to you

this is such a cute question!! well, maybe not cute depending on the response, but. u know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

seokjin — i think people are expecting me to say his brat taming thing, bc it is objectively hot, but if this is a safe space and we’re oversharing together on a stormy friday night, i think it’s kinda hotter if he… doesn’t? like, knows you’re being a brat but goes along w it and “lets” you act up. so that’s not my answer, obviously.

so, to me, it’s his perseverance. i think it’s very hot to straight up say, “hey, i’m not all that great at this, but i’m gonna do it and try my best anyway.” i am a person who gives up the second i’m not good at something right away or as soon as it gets hard, so. yeah. very attractive and hot quality.

yoongi — cop out answer, but anytime he does anything with his hands. it almost put me in the ground when he made all those cutting boards. add on him playing guitar and i was donezo. he has really nice hands and he knows he has really nice hands and it’s sick. he’s sick.

hobi — idk how to explain it but hobi emanates this absolute freak aura and it’s, like. very hot. like you can just tell he’s comfortable and confident in himself and would be down to do anything and get a lil weird with it, and that kind of energy is powerful.

namjoon — this is where parasocial relationships come in handy bc this is something i find so hot hypothetically but would make me wanna strangle him irl, but: his petty streak. my god this man is SO petty and i find it SO hot, but if it was directed at me i’d cry so bad. like, hickeygate??? closer pt. 2?? kill me.

jimin — his absolute disregard for gender roles. really fucking hot. talking abt how much toxic masculinity sucks? hot. drawing the bigender symbol on himself? hot. being described as having “gender neutral charm”? hot.

this is not me trying to assign him a label. it’s me as a person who does not necessarily feel all that connected to their gender (hard to describe what i mean by this but: i’m cis and know i’m cis but i still don’t know what being a woman means to me personally, and therefore i feel disconnected from it sometimes) seeing someone look at what society expects them to look and be like because they’re a man, and say, “yeah, nah.”

taehyung — how messy he is. another trait that might drive me bonkers irl, but from a very far distance? love it. it’s similar to what i said about jimin in the sense that, as an idol, there are expectations for him. and he just waves them away. like, there are not very many idols who are gonna go on weverse and threaten to shoot someone in the neck for violating their privacy, but taehyung will, and that’s very hot of him. those pictures from that club in paris? also very hot of him. he just sort of does what he wants and in an industry that’s so rigid and boxed-in, i can’t help but love a rebel.

jungkook — idk man. fucking everything. i had an embarrassing and public meltdown over him last year in his calvin klein era and now i can’t look him in the eye. if you put a gun to my head and made me pick one, though? it’s the way he’s got this overwhelming sort of fuckboy energy but you also know you could make him cry. we love a man with duality.

#jewel answers

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prettytoxicrevolver · 11 months

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Jealous | Anthony Beauvillier

Tito gets jealous when other players talk about you on the ice

warnings? toxic masculinity? angry but hot Tito, new york isles Tito (I'm too lazy to change teams)

wc: 1.4k

Anthony paces anxiously back and forth in your shared apartment, his nerves practically flowing over you as he awaits his car to the game. You watch mesmerized by the movements before finally getting up and stepping in front of him. He nearly smacks straight into you, but stops just before, his hockey training coming in handy.

“Beau you gotta slow down,” you say and he shakes his head.

“Can’t, I’m too nervous,” he says about to move away from you and you grab his hands and pull you back towards him again.

“What’s up?” you ask knowing it’s not just nerves.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just a playoff game and I’m nervous that’s all.”

Just as he finishes his explanation his phone dings, signaling his car is here. He nods pulling away from you but you pull him back, standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. A slight smile appears on his lips as he walks away, making your heart ache.

You couldn’t wait to see your best friend and secret crush play tonight in the second playoff game of the year. You were showing up a little later, having to get some work done but knowing you would be there a little after the first started was beyond exciting. You felt like you hadn’t been to a game in forever and you couldn’t wait to go.

As you sit and start working, your mind wanders to Tito, wondering what had gotten him so anxious for the game. Normally, he was a little nervous for the playoffs but nothing more than normal. You knew if he didn’t tell you now, you’d probably find out eventually.

Tito felt bad about lying to you. Well, he wasn’t lying per se, he kept reminding himself. But more so just withholding two things: he was in love with you, and he might kill Sidney Crosby on the ice if he said another thing about you. So it definitely wasn’t nerves, more just anger and the idea that he might end up getting kicked off the ice.

When he gets to the locker room he’s greeted by Barzy, a knowing look on his best friend’s face. He ignores it, moving to grab his stuff to change into.

“Be careful Tito,” Barzy warns and Tito rolls his eyes.

“I’m not gonna do anything.”

‘Really? Cause the look in your eye suggests otherwise.”

“I’ll be fine,” he tells him but he swears there’s steam coming out of his ears just thinking about what Crosby said the other day.

Tito gets ready, trying to ignore the anger building before the game even starts. However, by the time he’s on the ice and the penguins are facing him it’s a blind rage.

He couldn’t help feeling protective over you. He had a massive crush on you ever since you first met, and ever since he couldn’t get you off his mind. He loved you, every bit of you, and wanted to take care of you and protect you for the rest of his days. A couple of problems with that was that you didn’t know about his feelings and vice versa. But no matter what, he’d still do anything for you.

Surprisingly, Tito is able to stay away from Crosby through most of the first period, but by the end of it, he starts to crack when he hears him. He slams him straight into the boards, a low laugh following afterward.

“Beauvillier, when are you gonna share that little girlfriend of yours?” he calls.

The mention of you sends Tito’s heart rate spiking and not in a fun way. He starts to skate off towards Crosby but Barzy is quick to grab him and pull him back. He shakes his best friend off, glaring deeply at his opponent before getting off the ice.

You get to your seat by the time the first period is coming to a close. The perk of being best friends with two Islanders puts you at the glass, face practically shoved right into the action. Your eyes scan for Tito instantly, a habit ever since you noticed your feelings for your best friend.

You find him close to your end of the ice, a check delivered by the man you couldn’t stand; Sidney Crosby. Words are clearly exchanged between the two as Tito charges but Barzy is quick to grab him and pull him back before getting a penalty.

Your head tilts, worry filling you as the buzzer rings through the rowdy arena. You try to shove it off, hoping it was just a mix of nerves and Crosby being uncalled for that showed the change in your best friend.

The second period goes as well as the first, Tito and Crosby growing more and more agitated towards each other. Words fly between the men constantly, refs having to hold them back every chance they can and your nerves grow as bad as Tito’s were this morning.

What in the world were they fighting about?

By the end of the third, you’re relieved the game is over but sad the boys didn’t win. You knew they still had time and could come back next game and Tito could finally calm down about whatever he was mad about this game.

Tito’s eyes fall to the clock, two minutes left and he figures if he doesn’t do anything now, he might make it out of this game without getting suspended.

“Don’t worry Beauvillier, I’ll take good care of her tonight,” Crosby calls and that’s the final straw.

Before Barzal, Pageau, or literally anyone else can get to him Tito barges forward. He grabs Crosby by the arm, yanking him around and throwing a punch that lands with a satisfying crunch to his nose.

Crosby tries to hit him back but Tito can’t think straight he just throws punch after punch hoping they land and expel the anger he’s feeling.

The clock hits the last 2 minutes and your eyes wander around the arena, noticing the shift in fans. The tension had built all game long and you were nervous for what was to come. Suddenly a gasp comes from the crowd and your head whips to the ice.

You shoot straight to your feet as you see Tito’s fist connect straight into Crosby’s nose and you flinch. Your heart sinks knowing if Tito was pissed enough to fight it was serious, and he probably wasn’t going to stop until someone pulled him off.

They do after a while, Barzy and Palmieri getting ahold of your best friend and yanking him off Crosby. You watch as Tito yells something else before they send him off the ice, done with the game.

You dart out of your seat, rushing to the tunnel in hopes you can get down there in time to catch Tito. You flash the guards your emergency pass before heading down and when you see your best friend limping to the locker room your heart falls.

“Beau!” you call and he pauses at the nickname.

“Hey,” you say, finally catching up to him. He’s taller with his skates, towering over you as you look at him but you push on anyway.

“What happened out there?” you reach a hand up to touch the already forming bruise on his cheek but he moves away.

“Nothing, he was just getting on my nerves.”

“Anthony you don’t beat up just anyone for getting on your nerves,” you say not believing the half-assed lie. “What happened? What did he say to you?”

Tito weighs his options for a moment, not sure if he wants to keep lying or tell you the truth. The complete and whole truth that comes with the reason for the fight.

“He was talking about you,” he finally gives up.

“What?” you ask.

“He kept fucking going on and saying you should be his and not mine and asking when I was going to share you and just all this other nasty shit and I lost it. He somehow knows I like you and said shit to get under my skin and I let him and-“

“Beau,” you call, grabbing his attention.

You reach up again, this time Tito accepting your soft touch to his burning cheek. He leans into the embrace, carefully wrapping a gloved hand around your waist to pull you flush against him.

“Honey, you're the only man I’ve ever thought about. Sidney Crosby or anyone else in the world can’t change that okay?”

Tito flushes at the comment, feeling incredibly relieved and embarrassed all at once. He silences the feeling though, pulling you into him. You stand on your tiptoes and meet his kiss that you had waited for for so long.

#anthony beauvillier fic #anthony beauvillier x reader #anthony beauvillier imagine #vancouver canucks fic #vancouver canucks x reader #vancouver canucks imagine #hockey imagine #hockey rpf

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doubledyke · 4 months

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gonna stick these two together since they're both for eddy

1. my first impression of him: as a kid i'm sure i thought he was a real jerk. but like i did for edd i'll go based off of my impression when i was first in the fandom years back. i remember feeling some type of way about eddy, especially in the later seasons. i was way more annoyed and troubled by the unnecessarily asshole-ish stuff he did. now i just find it all hilarious and feel sorry for him. these days i'm an eddy apologist through and through. there's not a negative trait in him that i can't come up with an excuse for and/or find the humor in. oh i also remember liking him mostly bc he was cute with edd and i love edd. but over time....

2. when i truly started to like him: my opinion of him became more nuanced until it turned into what it is now which is that of a full blown stan. when i became jaded by the dedicated edd fandom it probably allowed room for eddy to infect my already vulnerable brain.

4. how many people i ship him with: really only edd. any time i think of him with someone else it's basically as a joke/for the novelty. i genuinely can't think of someone else i'd seriously ship him with.

6. my least favorite ship with him: i can't say there are any that i think about enough to dislike. i'm pretty unwavering in my opinion that he's like a 5.5 on the kinsey scale, so putting him in straight ships doesn't do much for me, other than maybe provide an opportunity to explore another aspect of his character.

7. a quote from him that i remember: "my brother was a whiz at chewin' ice cubes." no idea what that's supposed to mean but it's absurdly funny.

8.my favorite outfit of his: my favorite is the yellow hoodie but of course i have to include others

9. my least favorite outfit of his: these greasy suit jackets and ties are hilariously awful. this must be how his dad dresses.

10. describe the character in one sentence: it's so obvious but "a little childhood trauma builds character."

11. the first thing i think about when i think of eddy: slurs. and this image

12. sexuality hc: gaaaaaaaaaaaay

18. what do i think he was like as a (younger) kid: i think little eddy was very curious and even more sponge-like than most kids. gullible, as anyone is at that age. very sensitive and sincere until he was programmed into seeing those things as flaws and weaknesses by the toxically masculine figures in his life.

25. when did he act the most out of character: i always think about the xmas special. it makes me wonder what would've happened if he hadn't immediately been tempted by santa's giant sack.

26. when do i think he was being most himself: i guess at the conclusion of bps?? if i recall, it was you @gettingfrilly who said he feels the most out of character AND most himself at the end of bps and i agree. eddy's not the apologizing type so it's more meaningful when he says he's sorry and comes off as uncanny. the fact that he knew the other shoe was gonna drop at some point is so sad lol. letting down the facade obviously reveals his true self and simultaneously seems ooc cuz his character is largely a front.

28. the most unnecessary thing he ever did: lbr most of the shit he did in the show was unnecessary. it's hard to pick the worst of all, but i'll go with the swamp prank. i know it's in his blood, but damn dog. edd was already on the brink of collapse by that point, so pretending to die a horrific death for the second time in one already awful day wasn't his brightest idea. but eddy is nihilistic as hell, especially during the final stretch of the series and into the movie so it comes as no real surprise.

#thanks for letting me talk about eddy #it's not as if i needed an excuse but still #text

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hosticaaa · 3 months

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𝒜𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯 ; Sunday post

I've talked about Al's sexuality a few times before but tis the day for talking about that type of shit so anyway heres another ramble. Like, its so funny to me because there is so much misinfo surrounding aspec people its insane and a lot of it is straight up dehumanizing at worst or infantizing at best, and often, this is disappointingly perpetuated by other aspec people but I just want to say for my Alastor, despite being aspec, he isn't an innocent virgin, he's not an innocent anything so theres that ━ but given the ace stereotype of innocent and clueless, you'd likely be surprised by what Al actually is completely aware of. Keeping in mind, Alastor came up in the roaring 20s which was A Time for sexual exploration.

He simply is asexual and while he may not be the most "sex favorable" ace ever and tends to fall a little closer to the repulsed side for personal reasons, he knows things, he's done things because you just CANT be a "flat tire" and he will do things this is just heavily context and situation specific because ultimately, and really importantly: no Alastor doesn't know he's aspec at all, he thinks he's normal and he often preforms what he thinks is normality and tbh the way he is has always been normal to him. If he's ever really forced to contemplate it, he just thinks everyone else is like abnormally horny ( Which tbh, he might not be wholly wrong there, trauma and hypersexuality are also things and I don't think it should be a shock that a lot of hells denizens are deeply troubled/traumatized people at their core. )

TBH though Alastor's main gripe with Sex is.... A) He doesn't ever like loss of control and y'know sex is great for that, which is actually why some people get addicted to it or even use it to self harm, but also B) its just... Not that great. Its a lot of work for a few moments of ecstasy to him, and yeah while thats not really a thought in the moment it often hits in the aftermath lmao. Like this man does not have the modern porn brain or social conditioning to think sex is the be all, he's fully on the reality that its really just a thing best enjoyed at personal leisure if you're into it or maybe someone you like is into it, and its not something everyone ( especially he ) needs or an essential to life.

Also ps do not try to talk to Alastor about Asexuality, he'd be inclined to see it as an impotence thing and not only is that not allowed due to toxic social constructs surrounding masculinity and his era of living, but along with that for him its also like . . . His shit works. It sometimes works even when he's not that interested/doesn't even want it to and generally he's just very set in his ways and wouldn't really care to learn about asexuality or aromanticsm and how those things actually do apply to him. But yeah like I mentioned before, when you've accepted you're a freakish serial killing cannibal that may or may not be into both gore and pain thats as queer as you need to be according to Alastor. Hes fucking hilarious.

#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ 𝒯𝒶𝑔 ↝ From The Mun ⊱#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ ℳ𝓊𝓈𝑒 ↝ Alastor ⊱#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ ℱ𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓂 ↝ Hazbin Hotel ⊱#Alastor headcanons

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olderthannetfic · 7 months

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olderthannetfic/729300911208448001/the-reason-theres-more-positivity-for

This is trolling. No one assumes trans men are masculine. We get called boys even in our 30s, drawn as skinny white AFABs in layers of soft clothing, and reassured that it's okay if we want to kiss other boys. Actually, being assured that you're a cutie patootie fem uwu is really dysphoria inducing for a lot of trans men. I was on tumblr when I had just come out when I was 15 and it was incredibly discouraging to see the posts fawning over adorable wittle twans bois. I'm 25, I don't want to hold hands with a boy, I want to fuck a man. I don't want to change my hobbies and I don't care if people think it's toxic masculinity that makes me like "manly" things (way to assign the binary to activities, real progressive of you) and I don't get anything from "let boys be soft" with clapping emojis and sparkles inbetween every word with glittering font. "No actually it's good to not support part of a marginalized group!" no. Your trolling is shit and so are you.

And the idea that ace people are assumed to be against sex actually made me laugh out loud. I'm working on my doctorate and actually, on college campuses? I've heard from professors - not students, professors, adults old enough to have college-age kids - that ace people have sex at the same rate as straights but they need more foreplay, ace people just need more time to get to know you but after that they're sexually indistinguishable from heterosexuals, that asexuality isn't real, that asexuality is an internet label people use instead of admitting that they can't get laid, and my least favorite, that any man who says he's asexual is actually an incel/that asexuality is another term for incels and femcels. Then you hop online and the internet goes, "Ace people love sex! Ace people love kink! Ace people have just as much sexual attraction as other people! You'r'e valid if you're ace and fuck/do kink/are attracted to everyone!" and if there's positivity for people who are ace who aren't into sex, I've yet to see it. Hell, being not into sex gets you labeled "repulsed", like you're retreating from it the way the Wicked Witch of the West would from water and not just not into it. That happened even in OTNF's own comment section, and these are not uneducated people when it comes to queerness, we've just normalized that sex is a part of everyone's identity so much that even if you're asexual, it's weird and must be a repulsion thing if you're not into it. "Uh actually everyone assumes [__] so there's no need for positivity for [__]" fucking where?! Where are all these people who assume being asexual = not wanting sex?

For the record, I got my undergrad at two different universities due to a change of major, got my master's at another, and am getting my doctorate at a fourth, all in four different US states. One was in the Northeast, one was in the South, one was in the Midwest and now I'm on the West Coast. And I have never encountered people who assume trans men are manly or that asexual people don't have sex.

I have encountered sex negative asexuals, people who get so upset they leave the room if you make a joke involving them and sex, who interrupt the professor mid-lecture to say, "Ace people have sex!", though. That's how deeply this is ingrained in some people's minds, they will say it even when it does not apply to them, even when it's the opposite of themselves, so they can make sure they are Educating The Cishetallos and, more importantly, then share the moment they had to do so with their progressive friends for brownie points/in order to be seen as One Of The Good Queers who educates others.

As for the weird thing in the troll ask pretending anyone who talks about their lived experience believes in a conspiracy... do yourself a favor and get help bringing up your literacy before you take the SAT/ACT, kid. Not only is your trolling shit but you don't understand what the word conspiracy means. Someone saying, "[insert thing here] happened to me" is not a conspiracy and this is why your English teachers gave you C's - to get you out of their classroom and make your lack of comprehension someone else's problem.

In the event this wasn't a troll but was actually what you read, please get two tutors and possibly a screening for any latent anxiety or mental illnesses that would explain how you read people venting about shitty life experiences and thought they believed there was a conspiracy of some kind going on. Because that's the kind of making shit up out of thin air my dad, who has diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Paranoid Personality Disorder, would do, and it's not a great sign if you read people going, "the people around me are shitty about this" and jumped to "the people who sent those asks are saying there's a conspiracy theory against them and I am the one sole person who can see the truth here!"

I really don't know how to explain this to people but if someone says something is shitty on their campus, they're saying something is shitty on their campus. It's not a personal attack or conspiracy. Sometimes shit fucking sucks and it's exactly that deep.

You wouldn't think "Someone had a stupid-ass opinion on my college campus" would be that hard to believe.

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user-needs-new-hyperfixation · 1 year

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Some of this is copy-pasted from my response to a comment on one of my fics several months back, so sorry to anyone who read that and will now have deja vu.

These thoughts are based on my perception/headcanon of Sherlock and Liam as an allosexual couple. I’m totally supportive of people who like to ship pairs as ace/queerplatonic/etc, but with these two I do find it a liiiiiitle bit of a stretch...have y’all seen the train scene? They have the horniest of energy, good golly. But that’s in my opinion, and anyone who sees it differently is absolutely valid; we’re here to have fun, so have fun with it!

Okay, disclaimers out of the way: the more canon Sherliam gets, the more I love that they don’t meet typical BL seme/uke cliches. I do catch myself borderline feminizing Liam on occasion, primarily because I want him to be held, and engulfed in too-big sweaters that smell like Sherlock, and tucked into comfy armchairs with blankets and books: and alas, gender stereotype nonsense makes that feel like feminization even though it really isn’t. And that’s totally separate from the way I perceive their potential sexual dynamic, which is basically: switchy as hell, but Liam is more prone to being a bit dommy.

But like...They're the same age and height and even weight to start with. There are no particular inequalities in their education or unbalanced power dynamics. Sure, the Lord of Crime is puppeting Sherlock around, but Sherlock knows that, and though he doesn’t feel he’s truly on equal footing with Liam until right before the fall, it doesn’t feel...skeezy. Liam never actually lies to him (*glares at English manga translation*). There might not be outright spoken honesty between them, but there’s a mutual understanding of the game they’re playing, and overall their energy is incredibly nontoxic for an “enemies to lovers” dynamic (not that they ever really managed “enemies” to begin with).

(Another disclaimer: I don’t have a problem with shipping toxic pairs, Hannigram is one of my all time fave ships. But the older I get the more I’m drawn to happy stories and healthy representation and boy oh boy has Yuumori been delivering.)

Anyway, back to avoiding BL standards: Liam is pretty and fashionable and a scholar but sometimes exudes such dom vibes. Sherlock is an athletic borderline himbo, vaguely wrong-side-of-the-tracks, but gets blushy and flustered easily. Liam is the damsel in distress saved by his dashing hero: but he is also the criminal mastermind taunting his rival. Liam is rich to Sherlock's working-class, except nope, Liam is an adopted East End kid and Sherlock's family is running the country.

So many gay stories, with BL being probably the worst offender but far from the only one, blatantly signal top/bottom, feminine/masculine. They practically put a giant flashing arrow over one guy’s head that says “HE’S THE GIRL IN THE RELATIONSHIP.” And as someone who is neither a gay man nor prone to entering relationships at all, I can’t really speak for the realism of these things; I know there are people who strongly align themselves with presentations like twink, bear, etc. And I’m sure many people have a strong preference for a particular role in the bedroom, especially in a dating scene dominated by hookup culture: but it also feels so disingenuous to me that anyone, particularly in a long-term partnership, would be like, “This is the only one thing I ever do.” Even in a straight relationship that sounds hella boring.

And Sherlock and Liam sidestep those assumptions so neatly, which up until chapter 67 I would have said is simply because...it’s not BL. But now we’ve got chapter 75 and they’re practically married. Mix together the almost undeniable sexual charge of their early interactions with their more recent LITERALLY VOWING TO SPEND THEIR LIVES TOGETHER and it seems reasonable to assume that sex is on the table. Yet nothing about the way they look or act demands the reader assign them certain sexual roles. They don't feel like a collection of stereotypes signalling top and bottom, they feel like an actual human couple who probably have preferences in bed but also like to switch things up and try new things.

I appreciate that.

#yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot #sherliam

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xcreepypastaheadcannonsx · 5 months

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Hi, if they ever had sexualities or anything like that… what would they be? or would anyone be like homophobic?? this is a weird ask but i was just curious. thank you!

Oo this is fun! This is not weird at all btw, I’ve been considering these headcanons for a long time lol.

Jeff The Killer: Aromantic Pansexual.

Okay so Jeff doesn’t feel romantic attraction whatsoever but he feels sexual attraction towards literally anyone no matter the gender. He believe as long as his victims/sexual conquests have a hole he could give two shits what comes along with it. But to say he’s a stranger to being homophobic as a way to demean and hurt his victims would be a lie. Jeff displays homophobic behavior, but it doesn’t come from a place of feeling as if it’s wrong - it’s actually just a way to emotionally abuse another person. He doesn’t care about hypocrisy, literally anything to make someone feel horrible about themselves works for him.

Homicidal Liu: Aromantic Bisexual

Homicidal Liu, just like his brother, feels no romantic feelings toward anybody at all. He might act the part and have multiple partners but he feels NO attachment to them whatsoever and actually kills most of them off once he's done with them. BUT sexually he swings both ways (secretly). Liu is a very closeted bisexual, and while he doesn't really care internally when it comes to his sexuality - he cares very much about his reputation, and he believes he would literally shrivel up and die if anyone useful to him knew he swung both ways. He'd find it to be the most shameful thing in the world because he was surrounded by outwardly homophobic straight men his whole life, he literally based his personality around it. It would just be very scandalous in his circle.

Masky/Tim Wright: Slightly Bi-curious Heterosexual/romantic

Okay, so Tim himself is a bi-curious guy leaning towards being hetero. He himself has no problem with the thought of being with a guy, but it’s very rare he experiences the feelings of being attracted to another man. While Masky, is totally against the idea. This is purely due to his toxic masculinity and not wanting to look effeminate. Any feelings he would have for a man is shoved down and ignored. he’s the type of guy to make a complete scene over someone being gay, acting like it’s the most disgusting thing you could be in order to not look gay.

Ticci Toby: Straight lol

Toby is a heterosexual/romantic guy but he always has to make it CLEAR he is STRAIGHT, loves PUSSY and TITS and is not GAY. He has a lot of genuine homophobia, and of course this comes from the same place Masky’s homophobia comes from.

Hoodie: Bisexual/romantic

Hoodie and Brian are both bisexual, while leaning more towards attraction to women they wouldn't mind being with a man at all. But I'd say that they just really like a feminine person no matter their gender, pronouns etc. And although Hoodie doesn't have a homophobic bone in his body he's gotta keep it hush hush around his extremely homophobic coworkers that he would be interested in men at all. (Plus he's like "it's no one's fucking business" lol)

Eyeless Jack: Panromantic Demisexual

So Eyeless Jack is not a very sexual person really at all, ever since he became a demon he doesn't really feel the need or want to have sex - and it would probably be very uncomfortable for him in a casual sense because of his own relationship with himself and being half demon and alone for so long. He would have a lot of self esteem issues as well due to fear OF himself, which would make sex a lot more complicated and emotionally difficult for him. But I could definitely see if he was in a very patient, accepting and open environment he'd be able to feel those feelings again. But from a romantic perspective he doesn't care the gender, you could be a man, non-binary, lady, he would not care. To him everyone is human and special, and he's so removed from the concept of human gender that it doesn't phase him, he'll take any kind of attention or affection from anyone.

Jane the Killer: Homosexual/romantic

You already know Jane is a LESBIAN, this isn't even a headcanon it's just canon lol.

Clockwork: Bisexual/romantic

I would say Clockwork is a bisexual person who heavily leans into an attraction for women. Although she'll find guys attractive and have flings with some, I do believe as a whole she feels much more emotionally comfortable around girls. Regardless of her take on girls back in high school, (*Cough cough* pick me.) - she feels generally safer with women, and just really enjoys femininity. And it's really nice to have someone feminine with her as a partner, it almost gives her the comfortability to be feminine herself when for her whole life she always had to be on guard and as strong as the men around her to gain respect. She just really likes women and having girlfriends, and her misogyny in high school really came from a place of not being accepted much in that community in adolescence and jealousy of not being able to explore that part of herself in a safer environment. Plus she just uh, really like boobs lmao

~Olive🐰

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flowering-thought · 1 year

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Omg omg omg your Daisuke nsfw headcanons were everything I wanted and MORE!!! THANK YOU!!! If it's okay to submit another ask so soon after the last one, but could we get some HC of Daisuke with a girl with some extra padding? Aka plus sized

ALSO IM STEALING THE NAME SWEET ANON ITS MINE NOW

Aww I'd love to! We chubby babes gotta have that literature to include our pretty figures <3 Anyway sweet Anon if you want an emoji or a name feel free to take them and I'll start a list of my lovely anons with you there as the first one <3

I keep forgetting to link the picrew </3

Not edited

WARNING - MINORS DNI

Reader is AFAB and described with feminine words and also is chubby/plus sized

Yandere themes, implied murder,

⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚.

Daisuke Kawahara

Headcannons w/ Chubby Reader

• Honestly? Daisuke doesn't care much about looks. All he worries about is your physical and mental health. And if you're happy then he's happy!

• But something about the clothes you wear that show just that right amount of curve makes him shiver at the thought of holding you.

• And cuddling with this man has honestly got to be the best thing-

• He loved holding you and cuddling with you. He understands that you may or may not be self conscious so he's careful on where he squeezes you with his hands. But boy does he love squeezing your hips.

• And he loves going shopping! He gives an honest opinion and always says something positive! And he doesn't mind if you like to dress masculine or feminine since he just loves to see you try things on ♡

• Sadly Japanese society can be pretty harsh on certain things. Same with some other Asian cultures who's focus is similar. But he doesn't let any of that bother him and glares at people to keep their mouths shut.

• And if someone does say something straight to you? Their going on a list to give to his little brother. Daisuke has his ways of getting rid of others that bother him.

• But one day, when you were having a rough day and ended up coming to his place crying, and he found out that some guys from your college class were making rude comments? I don't think you'll ever see him that angry often.

• Let's just say those boys moved away hm?

• After all its not like you know about the basement under his bar. And you won't ever need to because he's careful about what he let's you see.

• As for if you're ever just having a rough day where you don't love yourself as much as other days Daisuke will drop what he's doing to just come wrap you up in a blanket and watch some ghibli movies.

• Even if it's not self love issues and just plain mental health bringing you down he'll still drop everything to make sure you're okay.

• And no matter what, he supports you! Just so long as you're not breaking up with him or leaving him in any way.

• Also Daisuke will always try to make a good impression on your parents and friends. He needs them to approve of you staying in Japan with him after all!

• But if your family and friends are toxic let's just say digging up some blackmail on them with the help of his family is enough to fix those problems-

• And Daisuke will always make sure that you're eating good! While he can't cook for shit he does make sure you're able to buy food and stuff you need on a college student schedule.

• And if you feel uncomfortable qith him buying you stuff he does it in a roundabout way. He'll mention that he has too much or bought bulk of something by accident. Or he'll ask to come over to your dorm and come with groceries cause he wanted you to cook something for him since you know about his inability to cook. And if there's extra groceries he'll chop it up to being an accident-

• He also hates if you skip meals. How are you supossed to maintain your beautiful figure if you aren't eating right?

• Also can and will help you find stores that carry your sizes. He's good at looking for the right places and even goes beforehand to a shop without you just to make sure it's a good shop with an atmosphere you'll like.

• He's a big stalker so he works very hard to figure out your likes and dislikes. He wants to make sure you're always happy ♡

• He knows it's probably difficult being in a different country and getting used to the culture there, but he'll just make sure that you have the best time!

You need to like it there so you can stay with him forever after all.

#soft yandere #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #chubby reader #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere hcs #yandere male #.daisuke_kawahara_♡

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maytheleiabewyou · 7 months

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Analysis of the German gay film #freierfall / #freefall PART 2

For the 10th anniversary (omg! 10 years already!) of one of my favorite movies I decided to make an analysis of the film and especially of the scenes between these two great actors. Max Riemelt and Hanno Koffler. Kay and Marc. Marc and Kay.

HERE IT IS PART 2:

The training continues and this time it's theory time. Both are seated far away from each other, but they continue to find each other's eyes as the instructor's lesson goes on. The glances between them are key in the film. If you look closely this film has very little dialogue between them as Marc and Kay are able to tell everything with their eyes. Call it intense connection or the little communication that men usually express… (Anyways, that's why I find it so difficult to read fanfic because it is tremendously complex to express in writing the complicity that is born simply from the looks between the actors. BTW if there has been one that I think has managed to capture all this and I loved it is called "Winter Bird" from @thelastaerie in archiveofourown) After looking at each other for a few seconds, you see how Marc leans back in his seat telling us with his body that he is going to concentrate on what the instructor is explaining, leaving behind (or at least trying to) the small (or big) distraction that Kay supposes for him.

"Breathe evenly" Two words that will be repeated throughout the film and are a prelude to good news. They announce that we will see them together again. As we were saying in part 1 :

the film begins by showing us how Marc is not good at the speed test while Kay excels. That's why they decide to go running together in the woods where Kay serves as Marc's mentor/teacher. Beautiful isn't it? At one point, Marc starts to slow down the pace and can no longer keep up with Kay, and this is where the magic word reappears, the word we referenced in part one, the word that drives Marc to do whatever Kay tells him to do, the word that makes them both smile at each other. "Pussy." That word has definitely brought them together.

((I think you have to keep in mind something very important about this movie and that is that the main characters act very hetero. That is, placing them in the context of cops already tells us enough about their attitude towards masculinity and what it is to be a man. So contextualizing them in a straight environment, even though it is a gay film is essential to understand the behavior of both and what it is expected of them))

(Image credits to @teammaxhanno)

After watching them run, we see them resting and, of course, smoking. Here Marc demonstrates Kay's curiosity by asking him "how did you end up in that police unit". Kay, who can rarely answer seriously, jokes that there is also such a thing as "infiltrating the police system". Is actually somewhat irrelevant the dialogue in this scene? Well, maybe it says a lot of Kay's personality and why for him is important or no being a cop. Anyways, what we should emphasize is precisely what happens afterwards and the "first kiss" (could one say so?) between them. A heteroflexible game? Something normal in the world of joint smokers? A more typical action of a drunken teenage party? I am not able to answer, what is clear is that when Kay passes the smoke of the cigarette to Marc giving him a peck nothing will continue being like it was before.

Ladies and gentlemen, THE SCENE. What we see is something that, of course, we already suspected and that is that Kay is daring, playful and above all not a slave to a toxic masculinity that would not have allowed him in any way to play that way with another man. The peck has just brought them closer, just brought them together in some intense way. That gesture has triggered something in Marc that he has never experienced before. Kay has just broken down all Marc's preconceptions. The question we ask ourselves here is, is Kay simply playing along as he would do with another guy? Is he doing it with Marc because he already has feelings for him? It can't be said that Kay already feels love for Marc, but maybe attraction? Why is he having an awkward moment with someone who is as butch and as straight as Marc? These are difficult questions to answer, but we love these types of scenes that bring the main characters closer together. In the end, Kay gets out of the awkward moment, using his best defense mechanism, the joke. Marc after that, has a look on his face that a thousand thoughts are running through his mind as he tries to take the heat off what just happened.

((As I said I was only going to analyze the scenes between them, but here we will make an exception. Marc is going to be a father (that it's important for the plot). And it's a very nice scene, why not admit it? Scene that seems to me something very German. And it is that they record with a video camera some messages for the future baby, and Marc comes out very cute and handsome and dedicates some very heartfelt words to his future son. We must also recognize that for the moment the scenes between Marc and Bettina (his girlfriend/wife) still reflect a couple in love and happy (but for a short time haha)).

However, Marc is already starting to miss Kay. And the next day in training, Kay is missing (For real, this guy doesn't care about anything haha) and Marc is going to ask the instructor why Mr. Engel is missing. Little (and cute) details again.

We arrive at one of the scenes that I referred to in the first part. Kay returns and how could they not meet again with a cigarette in their hands. I can't help it, I have to confess it, Kay is my favorite. Kay a chain smoker has the audacity to tell Marc that smoking can make him sterile, instead of like normal people greeting each other with a simple hello. All this while Kay is stealing a cigarette from Marc's pocket.

Amigas!! Look at their hands! Something as simple as lighting a cigarette manages to be so romantic...(#Kaystyle) I think there is no gesture or movement that Kay has not studied beforehand, nothing is a coincidence when it comes to the interaction between the two of them. Those seconds that the cigarette needs to light are the same seconds that Marc and Kay use to stare at each other. The eyes chico, they never lie.

This scene is to watch it, stop it and watch it all over again. It is a relatively short scene (about a minute) and it is ALL about their looks. Their looks are capable of leaving the viewer speechless, breathless. I won't deny that sometimes I wish Marc was more communicative, because sometimes it's really complicated to read him and know what's going on in his head, or maybe that is the thing, that he himself doesn't know how to process everything that happens to him when he is with Kay.

I melt with the smile at the end. The few dialogues in this scene are somewhat irrelevant, as it's when Kay shows up after missing class and comments to Marc how the academy principal "Brandt" (in Kay's words) has scolded him and they laugh about it. The end of this scene is nice because Kay tells Marc "see you" as if to say "I can't wait to see you again" and Marc can't stop looking at him. This scene is one of those that if it had lasted a minute longer they would have ended up kissing right there (although it's still early in the movie for that, we're only at minute 15' of 1 hour 40 minutes).

#marc x kay #gay movies #gay cinema #free fall #freier fall #max riemelt #hanno koffler #part 2 #lgtbq characters #lgtbtq #gay love #gay story #gay film

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genderkoolaid · 1 year

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A lot of non transmasculine people tend to ask “how could trans men be toxically masculine!!! Don’t they understand the harm it causes???” And, as a gender studies major, yes, we do understand, the harm that it causes is what makes a lot of (especially dysphoric trans men) fall down a toxic masculinity pipeline.

Most people view masculinity as a sliding scale (masculinity is much more complex and intricate but I’m going to simplify it for the sake of this argument). Say 1-10 with 10 being “most masculine” and 1 being “not masculine at all”. Say a dysphoric trans man feels euphoric or happy at about a 7 or so.

However, by being trans, we already have lost (especially in cis people’s eyes) 5 points of masculinity, so we’re already -2 points away from our goal, this sucks. However toxic masculinity says that we will loose another 3 points if we don’t comply with it, and a lot of people tend to agree with this.

We now, at least think, that we MUST comply with toxic masculinity or risk losing an extra 3 points. We are already behind our comfort level and it would be extremely detrimental to our mental and emotional well being. In our minds we HAVE TO COMPLY or risk feeling horribly dysphoric.

Here we face our problem. If we want to prevent transmascs from falling into toxic masculinity we must dismantle not only the thought of losing points for not complying, but the scale itself, and cis people (especially cis queer people) need to do this by stopping assigning gender values to things that have nothing to do with gender.

Topping and bottoming is not more or less masculine. Being gay or bi or straight is not more or less masculine. Dismantle that idea and the toxic masculinity will, in part, go with it

!!! Yes!!

Masculinity/manhood, in my eyes, is fundamentally about keeping men in competition with each other in order to exert control. As you said, trans men already start out losing, and we have to fight ten times as hard to avoid being in the "dominated" caste, and we have to struggle more than cis men to have a shot at getting any of the benefits of the dominators. Especially if you are someone who's surrounded by toxic masculinity as the only acceptable form, and you are dealing with intense dysphoria. You feel you have to enter the manhood competition to survive your dysphoria. That ofc doesn't make harmful choices right, but so many people seem to view it as "trans men just end up becoming misogynists, don't do that guys!" instead of seeing it as trans men trying to survive both their own dysphoria and the societal rat race that is patriarchal manhood.

Also, its important to remember that a toxically masculine trans man still doesn't have the same relationship with it as a cis man does. Especially if he is (like many trans men) not the perfectly passing post-everything stealth trans man ideal.

#m.#ask box

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sporesgalaxy · 9 months

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Not mad saying this or anything and feel free to ignore me I don’t control you but I just wanted to say as someone who has actually seen Oppenheimer (and trust me it’s a long movie with a heavy subject and a lot of loud noise so it’s not for everyone and I’m not gonna say everyone has to see it) and Barbie I wanted to say Oppenheimer really isn’t military propaganda it is very much about the indifference of the government and military towards death in pursuit of power and the evils of atomic weaponry. Minor spoilers but the movie just straight up ends with saying the invention of the bomb destroyed the world (while showing warheads and military weapons) it’s very much a film that paints the government and war and invention of the bombs in an extremely negative light and of course being about a man who actually existed it isn’t perfectly accurate to how he may have felt but I do think its worthwhile to watch if you can handle the subject matter and a long movie like that because I felt like it was the first movie about a war in a long time that actually doesn’t glorify any of it. Sorry for long ask I’m passionate about film and I feel like people are forming these opinions without any real knowledge of the actual film itself while just deciding since it’s about war it’s bad. It isn’t for everyone and I would never say you HAVE to see it because like I said it’s a heavy subject but it IS a film I actually recommend for those who can handle it.

Also yeah the Barbie movie is definitely gonna sell a lot of dolls Mattel wouldn’t ok it otherwise but by itself it is very worth watching and really a beautiful film about existing as a woman and the intentions behind Barbie vs what she became and a bunch of other important and beautiful things.

Sorry to write an essay in your inbox like I said I’m very passionate about film and I kind of just wanted to like. Share that Oppenheimer is in fact not pro military or war and if someone watches it and thinks it was in favor of any of the events depicted I don’t think they really understood the film or even paid attention to it because it was pretty on the nose about how bad stuff was.

Again feel free to delete or ignore or whatever you do. you don’t have to publish this or do anything other than I hope read it. And again I’m not mad or vindictive towards you I just have strong feelings about movies.

Ah, I knew I was being reductive in those tags calling them "both propaganda" but I had just woken up and considered it close enough. Apologies all the same.

Interesting to know that the film apparently isn't pro-war! I am much more interested in watching it for myself knowing that, although I'll admit my curiosity is not entirely in good faith. I'm interested in the history of WW2 and the Cold War and there are a lot of easy stumbling blocks and common points of oversimplification and misrepresentation, even for anti-war media. I'm curious to know how much nuance the film really manages to take into consideration in this regard.

I have heard from critics of Oppenheimer who did watch the film that it made no mention of the Navajo people who were radiation-poisoned for generations because of the nuclear testing in New Mexico. I think even if the film is anti-war and anti-weaponry, this oversight was a mistake that wastes compelling support for the anti-war argument, and undercuts itself in doing so.

I apologize again for misrepresenting what I expect from the Barbie movie. Interviews with the director and advertisements have made it clear that the movie aims to have a feminist message, which from what I have seen will probably be a strong and philosophically sound argument.

Still, there's a counterargument to be made that this ultimately serves as another example of a brand capitalizing on values-based marketing (i.e. the Gilette razor ad ["short film"] about toxic masculinity bring uncool). I think that addressing it that way is more than a little reductive, but I genuinely assumed that this was the reasoning behind pairing Barbie and Oppenheimer in memes (besides their clear tonal juxtaposition and shared opening day).

#syd writes an essay #also its ok anon i love long writing. as you can see lol #long post

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