#we see your homophobic misogynistic outdated comments | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orionsangel86 · 4 years

Note

I agree with the overly fetished views that fandom seems to have of gay men. As a gay man who’s really short, it’s soooo fuckin weird to have people assume I’m a bottom??? Like, I don’t even know you enough to disclose my sexual life and you’re making? weird? assumptions?? Also, there’s a certain fan artist who shan’t be named who makes a certain shorter character super feminine and it kills me every time

EXACTLY

Urgh I’m sorry fandom makes you feel that way.

I’m gonna put this under a cut as I am about to rant about this topic because it is my biggest gripe within fandom. Don’t read on if you are here for fun happy positive things. Beware fair readers, there be strong potentially offensive opinions and plenty of fandom wank down below...

Fandom is unfortunately filled with CIS het women who like to stereotype and force men into their preconceived internalised misogynistic perceptions that to be short or slender means you are the weak dainty “girl” in the relationship and that’s why whichever character they deem the “girl” is also ALWAYS the “bottom”. It also is the same way fandom tends to muddy the waters between sexual positions top/bottom and BSDM terms dom/sub, where bottoms MUST be submissive as well. Half the time you will see posts talking about character traits which perhaps might indicate a submissive streak, and people will take that to mean that a character is a bottom, when the two do not correlate and it is highly problematic to assume that they do.

It’s so fucking problematic and I don’t think that these (mostly straight cis female) fans realise that by encouraging these harmful stereotypes, they are actually also being totally misogynistic and anti feminist. Women are not all bloody Anastasia Steel’s for christs sake (and don’t get me started on that god awful book/movie series). A women can be tall, broad, muscular, she can be dominant and strong and she can damn well top a man if she wants to.

When it comes to shipping male characters in gay/queer relationships, fandom MUST stop inflicting outdated heterosexual stereotypes on them. It seems like fans find a pairing they like (for instance Dean and Cas) and then immediately have to decide which one of them plays the female role. They then twist and change the characters, their traits, the way they look etc, so that one of them is basically a woman. That character then MUST be the submissive bottom and URGH I HATE IT.

(Making a quick note to say that whilst these particular common stereotypes within fandom are very much a problem, this is not to be confused in any way with fans taking their fave characters and headcanoning them as trans or nb or anything else genderwise which reflects an even more marginalised group and is usually a type of fanwork created by fans who are in fact trans or nb themselves.)

I’m not gonna comment on specific artists, but I tend to block urls of bloggers whose stuff I feel is particularly problematic and I also now have the WONDERFUL post blocker xkit extension OMG it is a GODSEND I highly recommend it. If you keep seeing a post on your dash because everyone is reblogging it even though it is super squicky to you (like for instance an obviously feminised Cas or Dean is squicky for me) you can use the extension to block that particular post so you never have to see it again regardless of how many of your mutuals reblog it. Its amazing!

I know that on this hellsite we like to encourage everyone to be as creative as possible and that everyone is valid and we don’t kinkshame and everything etc etc, and I’m all for that, whatever floats your boat and all that. But there is a line, and the line is when what you are doing becomes offensive to the marginalised groups you are supposedly supporting. Like I really don’t care if you are into tentacle sex or hell, even a furry, but I do care if the only way you can comfortably support a gay ship is to force either of the male characters into a “female” template and give them a “self lubricating asshole”. Like... come on. This is why I hate A/B/O. If you have to force gay men to fit a hetero model, you aren’t supporting gay men, you are fetishising them. You are also probably kinda homophobic.

What I really hate about this stuff is how it always seems to be the problematic stuff like this that blows up and becomes a trend and suddenly everyone is jumping on board and no one is given a second thought to how fucked up it is. WHY IS A/B/O EVEN A THING?!? It started as a J2 beastiality fic like WHY DID IT BECOME SO POPULAR?!

Why is Twist & Shout so bloody popular too? Its not even in character. They aren’t even Dean and Cas! Cas is a pale skinny little TWINK?! WHHHHYYYY? I don’t understand it if you ship Destiel wouldn’t you at least want the characters you are reading about to BE Dean and Cas?!? Don’t get me wrong I love AU fics, but I still want to be able to picture and hear Dean and Cas in the characters being described.

Why was it such a thing in the early seasons to make Cas a girl? (that’s hyperbole obviously but he might as well have been based on some of the early fanfics/fanart I’ve seen and immediately noped out of.) Misha Collins has never looked anything like that! He’s never been feminine looking and just because the dude can pull off a dress doesn’t mean you can force him to suddenly be the cute tiny pale perfect curvy pretty submissive beauty you can’t help but imagine Dean with. If you want that for Dean, ship him with Lisa. Stop forcing Cas into a model that just doesn’t make sense for the character.

This goes for Dean as well of course. The dude may have a thing for pink panties and ballet shoes and taylor swift sure, but can we not feminise him to the point he is unrecognisable as the character please?

I know that a lot of this has routes in YAOI. Something I have generally avoided because quite frankly it disgusts me. I find the whole thing just super uncomfortable and messed up and see it purely as a straight womans fetish. So much of fandom shipping behaviour comes from YAOI and its caused a lot of the toxicity we have seen over the years. I think it has got a lot better in recent years though because the queer community is slowly gaining a monopoly in fandom (imo) and as they (we, I should say, as my bisexual ass has quite clearly had enough of this) become more interested in shipping and fandom culture, we can also start educating those straight fans who might be willing to listen and learn. Maybe one day we can say goodbye to the problematic trends of today, or at least, keep them on the fringes of fandom as more and more people wake up to the fact that they are harmful.

And if that means I never have to look at an image of a short pale “pretty” Cas with womanly hips again, I’ll crack open the prosecco and consider it a win.

38 notes · View notes

b0x · 4 years

Text

😔 some Thoughts on the Trans Experience under the cut that i wanna vent out bc of some posts ive seen around that just kinda didnt sit right with me i guess

every time someone on here is like “trans men cannot experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc they are men and are therefore experiencing transphobic trauma” it’s like... man, gender is way too complex to be so cut & dry about a topic like this. many trans men grew up experiencing the traumas of being a daughter And being a trans man daughter, both pre-transition and post. saying that isn’t saying “trans men are actually women because they experienced this women’s trauma” it’s just recognising that many traumas overlap, regardless of gender. i know it comes from a supportive place, validating us as real men, but that should include validating our unique experiences too.

i hope this makes sense, but a trans-man-daughter is still 100% a man, still 100% a son, but is very different to and does not have the same experience as a trans-man-son. and a trans-man-daughter doesn’t mean “a trans man raised as a daughter because they didn’t know they were trans at the time”, or “a trans man raised as a daughter by a homophobic parent even after coming out and already knowing they are trans”. no, a trans-man-daughter can still also be a trans man raised as a son with 100% support, because a parent’s trauma can still pass on regardless of the circumstance, because a trans person’s relationship with themselves and their own gender and body and mind is so unique and one-of-a-kind that we were practically designed to overlap the many gendered concepts that so many gatekeep as a sense of empowerment.

and it sucks making our own posts/experience sometimes, because they never feel like “our own”? because they all come from traumas and bigotry that have already been boxed and labelled and sorted into sections, and to be someone who has bits and pieces from all those different boxes/sections? a trans person can, for example, experience misogyny one year and then transmisogyny the next and that doesnt make the misogyny the prior year “actually transmisogyny”, it was still misogyny that was experienced, even if it’s later relabeled as “transmisogyny”. if anything that just makes it TWO kinds of misogyny experienced instead of just one. it’s terribly confusing. and trust me, for every cis person confused by a trans concept, i can almost guarantee you it’s just as confusing for the trans person themselves. and this isn’t also me saying that ohh trans people have it worse because we experience Double the bigotry and trauma - no absolutely not. i just think it’s important for people to realise that there are people who will experience both misogyny And transmisogyny and that in itself creates its own new kind of bigotry/trauma experienced, if that makes sense?

of course, i don’t speak for every single trans man, but it’s a very specific kind of transphobia a lot of us experience that ties in directly with eldest/only daughter trauma, and why we relate to and connect with posts like that, even when they’re aimed specifically at those who identify primarily as women.

and on top of all that, i see quite a few of the same trans man “supporters” who say “trans men can’t experience daughter’s traumas because they’re men” do complete 180s and say that trans women can’t experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc their transphobia doesn’t correlate with “womanhood” at the source, because trauma that sons/men/male at birth experience is different to the trauma that daughters/women/female at birth experience, which is.. horrifically and bewilderingly transmisogynistic, transphobic, alienating, and just.. Shocking. shocking that these two points can be somehow made in the same breath together without any of them realising what they’re saying.

it’s like.. this weird group of people who are somehow both the opposite of and exactly the same as terfs? theyre more like... tirfs - trans Inclusionary radical feminists - the people who treat trans men like a substitute for the “effeminate cis gay best friend”, the one’s who will validate your masculinity but not entirely consider you a 100% guy, latching onto that “biological fact” of trans men being “female at birth” and therefore considering you more of a “sister” than a “brother”, regardless of them knowing and understanding that you are a man. i guess its kind of very similar to the transphobes who make awful comments that nonbinary people are just closeted lesbians/gays?

anyway, yes, many traumas are gendered due to binaries designated by society and a misogynistic and men-restricting patriarchy (and many other factors that all play parts in this whole big system such as religion and the upper class), but traumas are traumas, and honestly shouldn’t be gendered, because they all overlap regardless, and can be experienced by anyone if the exact circumstances are met. that and every single trans experience is so unique and so so complex because gender in itself is an extremely unique and complex concept that it just cannot in any way be monitored or labelled into strict rules and laws and binaries.

every time i see a post on here about womanhood and daughter traumas and cis women’s misogynistic experiences and hell even a lot of lesbian traumas/experiences, i find myself completely and entirely relating to many of them every single time even though i am 100% a trans guy, and half grew up as a son. and i guess it’s just kind of weird but not so weird because sure while some days it just feels like im not calling myself a true trans guy, most days its just me validating and relating to an experience that i had that was unique to me and doesnt necessarily mean that im a woman because of it

because womanhood and manhood are temperaments, traits we are either born with or without, traits that are ever-changing and developing as we evolve generation by generation. anyone can pick up or be born with parts of womanhood and/or manhood. like that’s what makes all of us so unique, not a single one of us are alike in any way shape or form because of that. the combinations are always unlimited. so it’s just dumb seeing stuff like that gatekeeped. you cant Own an Experience like thats... what the hell is going on. every time its always the same thing, everyone’s always tryna play god in some way, be it mastering themselves, their own emotions and life, or controlling others, dictating what they think how certain things should be etc

it’s like that one post that’s like everything would be so much simpler if everyone was bi and nothing was gendered ghadjgdkgj

idk.. just.. to gender conceptual things like gender and traits and personalities and traumas is just so... unhelpful and unopen to change and not fluid whatsoever as theyre supposed to be. i dont wanna be all “nothing is real” abt it all but labels and binaries and decided systems and set laws are literally the reason, since the beginning of time, for wars and bigotry and oppression and poverty and the whole shebang. bc Someone decided one day that being a woman means this this and that, and being trans means that and this and that, and those meanings will be the basis we will rewrite occasionally and maybe add to, instead of completely scrapping our whole outdated initial ideas about it bla bla bla.

im just tired gender is weird and stupid why are we arguing why are we so protective like just have a convo man rule with curiosity not adamancy and you’ll be sooo much happier trust me

#feel free to reblog or chat abt idk

13 notes · View notes

migleefulmoments · 5 years

Note

"Why do you think it is OK to be so vile and vicious?" (1) LOLOLOL, you have got to be kidding me. Pot, meet big fucking kettle. (2) Most (not all) of those comments are neither vile nor vicious; they're simply hard to hear, as the truth often is. We believe you believe your theories are true, AJW. Unfortunately, you believing (and wishing and hoping) something is true doesn't make it true. For EVERY argument you make, I could make an equally strong counter that C hates D. Doesn't make it true!

2nd Anonymous said: Is this supposed to be her feel sorry for me post because she literally hates on strangers all day every day. “ajw720*tumblr*com/post/182606038445/in-my-time-here-i-have-been-called it’s very hard to feel sympathy for her when she bullies a woman she doesn’t know because she interferes with her fantasy.

3rd Anonymous said: AJW's on her poor widdle victim's martyr cross again. Anyone got any violins? She's the victimiest victim to ever victim, you know! All I'm imagining is a giant middle-aged baby in a diaper spitting her paci out and throwing a tantrum that big meanies are calling her names. You're right, sounds a lot like Trump.

She can’t even see how vile and vicious she is to Mia or to anons...or to Darren. She hates his beloved bar-which is by itself very disturbing. Add her attacks on his fiancee, his friends -Starkid in particular but others as well. Also his team Ricky, and Michael, his brother- Chuck and even Darren himself when he Isn’t acting gay enough. She can’t see that she doesn’t like real Darren-that so much of what he does she bitches about and blames on his team as a way to excuse the behavior she doesn’t like as “not his fault”. She hates the bar that he loves. The bar that is so quintessentially Darren.

It is impossible for her to hear the truth. She has refused many times- today we just got a complication, the greatest hits of the last 3 years. She never sees herself in anyone’s critique .

Since she has no self-reflection, Let’s do it for her:

1.homophobic-funny, because she replied to my ask and called me homophobic once.

2. misogynistic; I have discussed this many times and she is absolutely a misogynist. If you hate a woman you don’t know at all-a complete stranger- and you hate her because you attribute negative stereotypical female behaviors to her, that is misogyny.

3. xenophobic; she probably had an anon who speaks English as a Second Language and she attacked her for grammar or word mistakes. She probably deserved this label.

4. a fucking cunt; I hate the word cunt. But more importantly, I have realized that it NEVER helps to attack her with anything even close to a vicious attack because she gets very self-righteous in her anger. She lashes out in anger. Not only will she will just attack back, it feeds that self-righteous anger. So kill her with kindness and intellectual arguments.

5. an alcoholic cunt; Again I hate that word. If the only photos you post are of your wine glasses AND you call Mia an alcoholic every chance you get, you are probably going to get some pushback with this label.

6. I have been told to go fuck myself; I hope people aren’t telling her to go fuck herself. It just feeds her self-righteousness. Attack her with smart, intelligent facts and be nice.

7. gay fetishist; If you obsess about the genitals of two men who are NOT in a relationship, you believe Darren acts “Daisy” and you believe all kinds of outdated stereotypes about gay men- like they are scared of boobies- you are fetishizing gay men.

8. slut; This seems uncalled for. It’s rude and she never talks about sex so don’t call her a slut.

9. told to see a therapist; Well....when you believe a richly-detailed fantasy that 1. isn’t any of your business 2. there is literally NO evidence the men are a couple or ever have been aka you have and continue to make it all up 3. both men have denied your fantasy 5. one of the men is straight 6. both men are in long-term relationships with other people 7. you believe you love one of the men 8. you believe you are a better fan than anyone else and 9. you think that you are “collecting receipts” for Darren because you don’t have an NDA- and by “receipts” you mean social media posts -seeing a therapist is a good idea.

10. been questioned on having friends as no one would ever want to be friends with someone like me; that’s mean. But when you never present as a very angry, cruel person in every post you make, someone is going to say this.

11. old hag; This is just mean... but to a 20 year old, I suppose 44 seems old.

12. essentially told that I brainwash people; you do. If you create a “fact” that is entirely made up in your head (for example “Darren and Chris are married”) and you keep repeating it until your fandom believes and repeats it, that is brainwashing.

13. a liar; When you make up stories (see #12) and portray them as facts, you are a liar.

14. a fraud (apparently I am not a lawyer, English is my second language, and I did not go to an ivy league school); Maybe you should analyze what you DO that makes other people believe you aren’t a lawyer, English speaking or went to an Ivy League school? I’ll give you some hints: proofread your posts, don’t posts something like this “ajw720 Why do frspetate to read put blogs?” and then leave it on your blog. As for not being a lawyer: stop misrepresenting POAs, contracts, NDAs, “facts”, contracts, the rights and responsibilities of a manager, contracts, breaching, morality clauses...those are good places to start.

15. ignorant; about?

16. delusional, delusional fuck, and delusional idiot; When you fabricate stories about 4 complete strangers, proclaim to know more than their friends and families and write posts about exactly what they are thinking, you're delusional.

17. Devoid of knowledge on how contracts and morality clauses work; All this is 100% true...or maybe you understand them, but you lie about Darren’s contracts and morality clause to fit your trope.

18. middle age frau; Again, to a 20 year old, 44 seems ancient.

19. Creepy; If you believe you know everything about a complete stranger, you're creepy. If you don’t understand boundaries between a celebrity and a fan who is a complete stranger, you're creepy. Systematically claiming that EVERY SINGLE THING that Darren says about himself is a lie and YOU know the truth is creepy.

20. Living in a Fictional World; Yep, 100%. CC is NOT real- it is FICTION- and you are the head writer.

21. A Truther; Let’s define truther “a person who doubts the generally accepted account of an event, believing that an official conspiracy exists to conceal the true explanation; a conspiracy theorist” Literally exactly what CCers do and are proud of. They constantly proclaim that they are too smart to fall for the PR narrative and THEY have alternative facts. How can she deny this? A little self awareness is always a good thing.

22. I’ve been disparaged for calling D a victim of abuse; You should be- Darren has never so much as hinted that he is abused. It’s all made up in YOUR head. When you claim someone is abused ONLY because it fits YOUR narrative, you are belittling real the experiences of real victims. You are belittling the horror they go through and doing so simply because you think it adds to your fantasy.

23. A cult leader; As the leader of the CC truthers, I’d say you are a cult leader but let’s again look at the definition. The 3rd definition of Cult on Google “is a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing."a cult of personality surrounding the leaders" synonyms:obsession with, fixation on, mania for, passion for” That describes the CC fandom and you are the self-appointed leader.

24. I have been told that I hate D; When you criticize real Darren for everything he does that doesn’t fit your vision of who he is, when you label him a jerk, college frat bro, and no-homo dude AND blame those behaviors on “his team”, that means you don’t actually like Darren. You LOVE CC Darren, a man who doesn’t exist outside of your head but the real Darren is problematic.

25. I have been told that D&C would be embarrassed by me; Both men have asked you to stop, both men have told and continue to tell their truth and you continue to discount everything they say because it doesn’t prove CC is real. The “truth” that you fabricate about both men’s lives does not look anything like the lives they are leading-the lives everyone can see-except you. Embarrassed by the CCers stalking their friends’ accounts and then telling them they are wrong about Mia, or Chris & Darren, or just writing CrissColfer a million times. Embarrassed that you guys go in to their comment sections and attack fans who tell you to stop- even if YOU specifically don’t do it- and I know at least ONE of the main CCers does-the words that are used are literally the words that you use- it’s your fantasy. I think they would be more angry than embarrassed.

26. Cancer of the Fandom I got nothing for this one.

I have talked about her lack of self awareness before but this is a textbook example of how she can’t take any criticism- it is all immediate rejected. Yesterday’s YOU WILL RESPECT ME rant is another example of the lack of awareness. I mean, the ”truther” accusation is absolutely SPOT ON and yet she can’t see it.

I don’t write this blog to belittle or make fun of her or the CCers. I certainly don’t to change her believes because she won’t change- she is in too far, she thrives on the attention she get....but mostly, she can’t see what she is doing. She can’t see that she is so deep into a fantasy that has been entirely fabricated and since Glee ended, fabricated mostly by her. She can’t see that her lies are getting all caught up in one another now that she has to explain why Chris and Darren have no connection and Mia and Darren are everywhere together as a couple. She has to keep fabricating excuses for why Darren continues to say he is straight and that he loves Mia. She can’t see that it’s very obvious to the rest of us to see that Chris and Darren have no relationship and Darren and Mia are building a life together. This post proves how much she can’t see outside of her own fantasy.

I write this blog because I couldn’t stand that CC lies were being pumped out every day and they existed unchecked. They started claiming their fantasies were facts...period. I couldn’t stand anons asking-begging CCers for proof and they were told “it’s a fact” trust me, don’t question it. The only info anyone could find -if they did go looking- were CC lies. I needed there to be a place where the truth sits.

If I was interested in simply making fun of them, I wouldn’t spend so much time finding facts- photos, videos, old posts to prove they are misconstruing the truth.

Sometimes my anons get a little snarky- maybe we can tone that down a little so we don’t give her ammunition for her pity party.

11 notes · View notes