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#and i can’t let these things get to me
twinstxrs · 1 month
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idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.
#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers#riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves#gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay.#and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz.#even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could.#also#the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him#anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much#especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way#while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate)#i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe#this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would.#but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me#idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping 😭#sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired
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marisatomay · 5 months
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“I can’t believe Tom Cruise of all people would stand up for his agent, a Muslim Libyan-American woman, who was being publicly blacklisted for her support of Palestine and calling out the ongoing genocide, including making a rare in-person appearance to CAA headquarters in LA to express his support for her. What a strange person who can ever guess what opinions he will have.”
Look. I’ve studied Tom Cruise a lot. One could even call me a Cruisologist. (Not to be confused with. Well.) And, it’s actually really easy to predict Tom Cruise’s opinion on something. The tricky part is whether it will be made public in a timely manner or not and, if it’s made public at all, will it be a lede buried in favor of pushing a narrative sold on background by a studio exec he pissed off because he didn’t roll over and take their bullshit.
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blue-mood-blue · 4 months
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I can pinpoint the moment that destroyed my life today:
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It’s been a handful of weeks since Murderbot came within inches of having a new, organic governor module implanted in its head via infection - do you think, maybe, that’s also been hiding behind the redacted? Not the way everything else is, just as a deep-seated reminder of what it can’t afford to lose?
What a way to be told “I love you” - to be told “I will not lose you, I will not let go, I will do the hard part of holding on even if you don’t want me to”
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viperwhispered · 1 month
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Rest
Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all. You can also find this on ao3. No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.
At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner. 
However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.
You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.
So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.
It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.
At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.
“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.
Of course.
It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.
You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.
“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.
“Yes.”
“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”
“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.
Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.
“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.
Really, when did he get so tired?
And how did you not notice it earlier?
You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.
Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.
You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.
Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.
Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.
“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.
Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.
“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”
“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.
Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.
But sometimes you really wish it would be.
Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.
Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.
“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”
You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.
“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”
Still, Jamil frowns.
You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?
“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.
And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.
“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.
It seems he has accepted his fate.
You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.
And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.
Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!
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papertowness · 3 months
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admittedly one of my favorite things about house ( that also drives me up a wall ) is that something Really Big happens and then the next episode they like loosely mention it like wow wasn’t it crazy that that happened . anyway haha
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fuumiku · 4 months
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They’re really interesting foils in many ways. I’ve always thought that Marcille & Mithrun have underrated dynamic potential. Give me the cringefail dungeon lords. Give me the elves with ears-centric metaphorical self-image issues. Give me the academic elites whose deepest strongest desires will always remain unreachable and the only option is to turn to the corrupt forbidden fruit of a demon pact. I am so so normal about Mithrun and Marcille
I wonder if the resemblance between captain Mithrun and general Hagreus aka Marcille’s fave in Dalclan is intentional… They definitely look very alike. It could represent idealization vs reality? Something something the romanticization of elves and their societal drama in their fiction vs a very real and imperfect product of their military system. The canaries certainly aren’t glamorous next to whatever Hagreus is the general of. I feel like she never had the opportunity to notice the resemblance herself bc within seconds of meeting him he was wrestling her on the ground but. If she had… She would so think he should have been his actor in the tallman stage play of Daltian Clan in that new extra comic hehe. I love the little details like Hagreus’ lips being drawn with extra details because they’re full and pretty while Mithrun’s lips are drawn with extra details because they’re chapped lmao.
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This art is all silly and surface level but in my head mithrille is like so dramatic and I make up daltian clan level big plots with them gbdgd. I made a spotify playlist for mithrun if y’all interested, rn it’s mostly centered around cravings that consume and losing yourself and illusions inspired from his time as dungeon lord but it’s branching out. Varied vibes, levels of intensity and degrees of confusion and await you ✨ I would emotionally rant about Chainsaw Man ost lyrics and how they tie in with Mithrun and the winged lion’s relationship but this post is already a monster
I want more of these two please please please pleaseee just one or two interactions in the new canon content coming up… All they ever did was debate philosophy on desires and human self-fulfillment and try to murder each other, please… I never get to gush about them and I can’t shut up so if you want more thoughts I talk about them more below
To get a girl to peacefully accept arrest follow these simple steps: in private, ominously stand above her and forcefully interrogate her, while in public, tell her you’ve met before (untrue and also not a pickup line, you’re just face blind) and interrogate her with a thin veneer of decorum. If all else fails, threaten and follow through on said threat. My guy needs more than just physical therapy I’m afraid
Sorry if most of these were Marcille-centric with Mithrun standing there looking cool, if I were doing these more from Mithrun’s pov things would be like "She’s a bit much but I guess I don’t mind hanging around her." or "Oh you’re a half-elf? -insert elven supremacist rethoric-" or "I have to keep her from becoming demon stew." immediately followed by "Did someone say demon? Kill kill kill kill kill" since these are set prior to like really knowing another. Then things would be more like "huh she has bad tastes in novels but her magic research is pretty interesting" and "I’m lonely and don’t understand myself— Oh she loves talking about feelings? Oh shi-" That last one is an aspect of why I like Marcille and Mithrun’s potential dynamic lol. She’s very… Emotionally intelligent alongside being impulsive. You think you have no feelings because the world has beaten them out of you? Think again!! Marcille be upon ye! -In a therapy sort of way but mostly in a connecting with people and your own self through interpersonal relationships and talking kinda way. I just think a lively, upbeat, annoying friend way too interested in your personal life would do him good, the canaries are nice but like if Marcille went to prison and was a sort of extra new bunkmate I think that’d be interesting and fun to read is what I’m saying
Unlike Kabru she wants all the useless messy filler of his backstory, eating chips while listening. Like two chibi sets side by side, "me and my fellow canaries, name name and name-" "Hold on we don’t need to know that." Vs "Then we were to sleep on the third floor of the dungeon, which had the look of a mausoleum, and name and name got into a fight over the campfire placement." while Marcille is like uh-huh what next what next while kicking her feet. She thinks of pre-dungeon pompous Mithrun and is like omg you went through a character arc and become better as a person- and then he opens his mouth and she’s like nevermind let’s keep working on that. She would also go "ew ur hair is greasy" and give him a full hair care treatment. What I’m saying is I need them to be forced to spend time in a dungeon together and become besties through a life or death roadtrip
Marcille is insecure about her ears, long, like an elf’s pride should be, but rounder, inelegant. Seeing Mithrun though, the epitome of beauty, with his half-cut ears make it a sillier thought. Not sure if Mithrun is the best person to reconnect with ur elven culture with but it sure is an option Marcille would so appreciate being around someone both cool headed and kind, I genuinely think they’d get along, like not that Senshi isn’t that too most of the time but I think Mithrun would be in a way that’s more refreshing to her. I’d be so curious about them discussing Dalclan, I doubt he’d have read it but she could make him read it, maybe post-canon with the excuse that they’re trying to find him a new hobby hah. He’d tear into the writing and everything but it’d be a fun time, I like to think that it’d make him a bit less prejudiced. Marcille @ Mithrun "👉👈 Soo maybe you don’t know these books they’re pretty recent having come out 50 years ago but…"
I’ve been in a Mithrun phase I want to make and read Mithrun-centric fics and angst so baaad. I razz him a lot here but he’s literally a traumatized military man that became obsessed with revenge due to bad coping and neglects himself in the process idk not much for him going on and some of it is because he has to work on himself, but hey no one’s perfect it all comes from a place of love and relating though I prommy. He’s the one ungodly angsty squeaky toy blorbo with brain damage rep I have don’t take him from me
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ohitslen · 10 months
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They would be so insufferable once they got together I’m telling you right now
Request by @molten-rainbows!💖✨✨
Uni-fying the requests because.
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#worst double date ever when those guys keep getting denied access to many places for a second ride#for context! they aren’t the biggest fans of pda actually#they got lost inside the haunted house that also worked like a maze of the sorts. Meryl and Milly got out first and waited for them to#come out. but they never did. Meryl asked for security to look for them and they were caught in a place they shouldn’t be at#when asked abt the hickeys. they say they were hiding from someone who was chasing them. Vash covered WW mouth and he bit his palm#so Vash bit his hand in return. and bc they’re losers they kept going until things started to escalate and well#things ended up like that. and now they can’t get into the haunted house again.#Meryl considers not letting them be too far away from their line of sight because they are bastards separately and how together they are#somehow even worse. Milly won’t really interfere but would stop them if they start anything in public#which they wouldn’t. but they all know that would be a consequence#I cant for the love of me draw with at least a little bit of context behind it even if it’s just three panels OQJWK#without AA i make so many mistakes but whatever#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#trigun fanart#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#millymeryl#the girls finally OQNWM#lenssi draws#Trigun Uni! AU#take the color palette as a grain of salt I have zero consistency. also the style I guess
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ewwww-what · 5 hours
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It probably won’t (it will)
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sincerely-sofie · 8 months
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*gently places angsty Twig comic in your hands*
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There comes a point in healing, sometimes, where you must grieve the child you never got to be, and bury her along with the desperate hope of one day somehow becoming her.
It isn’t fair. And it never will be.
But you grieve the child, still.
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undertheopensky · 4 months
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Memento
Whumptober Day 22: Glass Shard
Characters: Four, Sky, everyone else is there
Trigger warnings: Self-harm, it’s unintentional but it’s there, minor nudity, panic attacks, a special kind of unreliable narrator, many bad decisions are made
Read on Ao3!
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The portal looks like any other. It’s only as he steps through that Four registers something – off – as his awareness stretches and spirals and f r a y s
They’re scattered in the void between stars, drowning and endless, flecks of insignificance against a being so much greater that the scale of it is lost to them.
OUTSIDE EQUIPMENT IS FORBIDDEN.
Their body doesn’t exist right now. It’s so easy for the entity to strip them down to their essentials, their skin and their blood and their bones, leaving everything else behind in the void. Peeling away everything that isn’t them, their sword, their tunics, the cord at their throat –
No!
In this moment-between-moments they’re barely a spark of thoughts, a soul in potentia, and every fibre of their being curls tight and defensive against the gentle tug. Over their heart, they wrap threads of lightning and fire around a faint and faded glimmer. They resist.
The entity tugs again.
No no no don’t take it please don’t take it I can’t lose it I can’t lose him I can’t –
The entity… pauses.
They cling tighter. I won’t let you take it.
ALL OUTSIDE EQUIPMENT IS FORBIDDEN.
They keen in soundless protest. Mine-his-only-thing-left-grief-and-horror-and-mourning–
…ALL OUTSIDE EQUIPMENT IS FORBIDDEN. BUT A TRINKET THAT GRANTS NO ADVANTAGE… THAT, I CAN ALLOW.
And they’re flooded with relief a split second before they’re flooded with sound and light and ow.
Everything always tingles for a few seconds, after teleportation. All his pieces realising they’re still alive, registering protests about the sand beneath him, the chill of the air, the ache in his tightly-clenched hand –
“What the fuck –”
“Who took my rings –”
“WHERE IN DIN’S NAME ARE MY PANTS?!”
Everyone else is discovering they’ve been stripped of their equipment and are reacting accordingly. Four sits up slowly, flexes his throbbing fingers just enough to check –
A thin cord tugs at his neck; razor edges bite into his palm. The necklace is safe. He didn’t lose it. It’s safe.
He shudders out a sigh, hot and cold playing over his bare skin. After the panic attack, all of them slammed together in united desperation, everything feels kind of muffled. There, but unimportant. Even everyone’s noisy agitation isn’t worth responding to – no one is missing, no one is hurt, they’re just upset. They don’t need him for that.
“Four – shit, Four, you’re bleeding–!”
He realises what they’re reaching for almost too late. “No!” he yelps. “No don’t touch it it’s mine don’t take it no no no–” The sand is cool and slippery under their feet as they scrabble back. There’s a wall, there’s a corner, there’s nowhere to run so they huddle instead, curled protectively around the hand holding his necklace and keening high and panicked.
“Don’t take it,” he gasps, “please don’t.”
“It’s okay,” someone soothes, “it’s okay. I won’t take it. I’m just worried about your hand. It’s bleeding; are you hurt? I’m not going to take anything from you. I just want to see your hand. Do you think you can do that?”
Panting, Four peeks out of his defensive ball. Sky is there, not too close, crouched far enough away to give him some space. His tentative smile widens when he sees Four looking back at him.
“I promise I won’t take it,” he repeats. “Can you take a deep breath for me? Please?”
Aware he’s being handled and annoyed by it, Four obeys only out of spite. Breathing the full depth of his lungs hurts. It takes a few gasping starts to get all the way down, and by then the green-grey panic has faded from the edges of his vision.
“I hate that this shit works,” he says in a sapphire-tinted growl.
Sky is infuriatingly patient. “If it didn’t work, we wouldn’t ask you to do it. Do you think I’d be able to take a look at your hand now? Please?”
As the adrenaline fades it is starting to hurt. And… it’s Sky. He… they trust Sky.
Mostly, indigo murmurs.
Slowly he uncurls his fingers, wincing crimson as the pain flares. Blood runs down his bare arm. It’s still a struggle to let go enough to switch the blood-streaked pendant to his other hand. His heart drops into freefall for the instant it takes his fingers to close, only steadies when the edges bite just enough to register. Only then does he let Sky take him by the wrist.
Welling up from the ragged cuts, blood drips to the sand; Sky frowns in concern. “Some of these look deep… does anyone have a potion? Bandages, even? I seem to have misplaced my kit…”
“No,” says Wild, grimacing. “It’s… I’ve only ever seen one of these before, but the shrine keeper takes everything as you come in. Weapons, equipment, armour.”
“Fucking clothes,” Legend mutters.
“You don’t even wear pants to start with, Legend,” says Twilight.
“That doesn’t mean I want to go naked!”
“Magic’s probably still on the table, if you have the strength for it.” Wild shoots Hyrule a hopeful look.
Without meaning to Four tenses when Hyrule gets close.
“I’m not going to take it from you,” Hyrule says, repeating Sky’s words from earlier.
Four flushes with dull embarrassment. “Sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry for scaring you.” Moving more slowly, Hyrule carefully lays his fingertips on Four’s bleeding hand. They start to glow, a gentle spring green, and Four watches the self-inflicted cuts fade away, leaving smears of blood behind.
“Thanks,” he says. Then, to avoid the inevitable questions, he forces himself to stand, looks straight at Wild, and ploughs onwards: “So, how do we get out of here?”
“Well, assuming this is some kind of shrine, it could vary. Sometimes they’re… moving puzzles. Like, you have to move a ball down a path, but there are lasers in the way that will knock you into a pit if you don’t block them somehow. Or you have to reach a high area but there’s no ladder, but there are things that you can pile up into like a really lopsided set of stairs. Other times they’re combat trials – you have to defeat a certain monster, or a group of monsters, to make the final door open.”
Wind makes a noise of understanding. “Oh, so it’s just a dungeon then. Cool.”
Wild frowns. “I… dunno? You guys always made dungeons sound, like, super drawn out. These are like. Two, maybe three tasks, and you’re done. The steals-all-your-shit shrine was the worst for that alone but it was also a combined combat-puzzle thing. I guess you didn’t have to fight the monsters to get the balls, but it was a lot easier carrying them around if you didn’t also have to dodge arrow fire.”
“And you did this without armour or a sword?” says Warriors, somewhere between aghast and impressed.
“I broke a lot of sticks,” Wild agrees. “I would have given so much for even the crappiest sword, but I’ve never been able to get anything past the shrine keeper.”
“Thought you said you’d only seen one of these?” Legend runs his fingers over his knuckles again. It’s an unconscious motion, missing his rings.
“Well I ran the first time, didn’t I?” says Wild reasonably. “Panicked and ran for it. When I got far enough away the monk gave me all my shit back. I tried a couple times to sneak stuff in, throw it from the raft or whatever, but no dice. How’d you do it, Four?”
Four’s hand tightens. Hot blood starts to seep into the spaces between his fingers, something sharp like panic coiling around his heart.
“Steady, Four,” says Sky. “Deep breaths. Shit, you’re bleeding again – Wild!”
“I’m sorry! I was just curious!”
Four wants this over with. Why can’t they just leave them alone, fuck, they’re always asking and poking and so goddamn nosy, they never let things go, he can see their burning curiosity and knows what they want, he can feel it pressing in on his heart –
If he doesn’t think about it too hard, the words can stumble out. “I felt it – and – I fought it.”
Legend frowns. “You fought it for your necklace? Why not your sword – hell, your shirt?”
“How did you even feel it?” Wind demands. “One second we were walking into a portal and the next we’re stripped to our skivvies! There was no time!”
“Time’s more flexible than you think,” they say absently. Their fingers shift, making glass cut twilight-sharp, and their heart steadies.
“When the portal – when we entered the shrine – there was a moment where – Wild called it the shrine keeper – I – felt it. Taking everything away. Bag. Sword. Clothing. But –” his hand twitches again. Sky hisses as more blood hits the sand. “I couldn’t let them take this. It’s the only thing I have of my best friend.”
The words fall from his lips in blood red and bruise purple and he meant to say them but he didn’t and he regrets them but he doesn’t. The pendant is important, they can’t lose it, they need the others to understand that –
Their mind turns inward. What if they hadn’t – convinced them? What if the shrine keeper had taken the fragile shard of glass –
Give it back! It’s like an echo of a memory, too-sharp and too-clear. Please give it back, please!
Their fingers tighten. Pain swells, drowns out the almost-memories, and stays a constant drumming throb even when they relax.
Unease runs viridian.
“–our, I need you to take a breath for me, can you do that? C’mon, head up, you can do it –”
Calm and steady, Sky’s voice draws them from the almost-flashback. It’s harder this time – they hurt, and they’re tired, and the grief isn’t lurking so much as clawing up their spine. The world presses in on them. They hurt, Green-Red-Blue-Vio all caught up in we-miss-him-we-miss-him-we-miss-him. It makes everything harder, when all they want to do is fall deep and curl up in mirror-shard memories that hurt the same way they do. (The pain is comforting.) (They know it shouldn’t be.)
When they’re like this, when they can’t find the balance that lets them be Four instead of four, when they don’t even want to – someone has to take the reins. Someone who’s capable of at least pretending to be a person, for a while – and this time, that’s Red. Red, who feels things so intensely he circles right back around to ‘functional’. Who manages to take a full breath of air even through the tears, making Sky smile encouragement.
“Good! Good job, just keep it up, you’re alright.”
Red wants the smile, wants the comfort just as much as he hates it. It’s wrong. Too big, the wrong shape, smells of feathers and sunlight instead of smoke and steel. Another stuttering breath rips through his chest. He misses them so much – misses them all, even when they’re right there with him because it’s not the same. And there’s nothing he can do about it except breathe, and cry, and wait for the storm to pass.
Hyrule inches closer. “Four, you’re bleeding again. Can I see your hand?”
Red breathes through the avalanche of fear and hurt and no. Checks – the bleeding isn’t bad – before shaking his head. “S’fine.”
“I don’t want to leave you in pain. Please?”
“No.” It comes out harsher than he intends.
“Okay, not right now. Can you let me know when you’re ready?”
Red hums agreement. Presses the hand against his sternum, feels the way it makes glass shift in his fingers.
“Just make sure you get it treated, little one,” Time says from nearby, deep and slow. “That’s your sword hand.” He’s – closer than Red had realised. They all are, actually.
“You gotta look after yourself!” Wild adds.
That is possibly the most hypocritical thing he’s ever heard Wild say, and for a moment he just stares. Then he gets distracted by Wind, bouncing and clearly relieved Four is looking more stable.
“It’s okay, Four! Wild says these don’t take long, so we’ll be out of here and back to normal in no time!” His eyes catch on Four’s hand – still clenched tight, still bleeding – and flicker uncertainly. Then he squeaks and flails in protest as Warriors scrubs a hand through his hair.
“Sailor’s right, it’ll be okay. Maybe talk to your friend next time you’re home? See about getting a spare – or somewhere safer to keep it?”
Twilight makes a noise of agreement. “Your friend must be real important to ya,” he says, “but you haven’t mentioned ‘em before. Can you tell us about them?”
Embers spark.
“He killed himself,” Four says boldly, “to save my life.”
There’s a brief, horrified silence.
Then everyone bursts out talking at once, Twilight’s frantic apologies mixing with Wind telling him off, Hyrule pleading to let him help, Warriors protesting something that gets lost in the commotion. They’re guilty, apologetic, desperately trying to help.
Red doesn’t care.
“I can’t just – get a new one, because it was his, and now he’s gone. He saved me – he saved all of fucking Hyrule – and people call me a hero when I couldn’t – I couldn’t even save him.” Under a layer of numb his skin is burning, with hurt, with anger, with the grief he holds close. He still feels so cold. It isn’t fair.
Time interrupts before he can dig his heels too deep. “How old were you?” His voice is gentle, almost distant.
“We were – we were both thirteen.” His voice cracks and he has to use his free hand to dash away angry tears. This is why he doesn’t talk about it, dammit.
Sky hugs him.
It’s more awkward than usual, without all their layers in the way – why does skin have to be so warm, and slightly sticky, ugh – but Sky is determined, and Four – doesn’t have it in him to protest, right now. Leaning into Sky’s chest, he lets himself relax – lets his fingers loosen, just a little, on the shard of mirror-glass.
They just want this to be over.
-----
When Four doesn’t fight him, just lets himself be held, Sky fixes the rest of the group with a sharp eye. “Wild, how fast can you get us through this?”
Wild’s back goes straight. “Depends on the tasks, usually doesn’t take more than an hour or two.”
“How do we get out afterwards?”
Wild glances around, grimacing. “Well, usually there’s a – a platform that carries you up and down, but I don’t see one here – this looks really different to what I’m used to, but it – it feels the same, I guess?”
Sky stays focused on problem solving. “Any other ways out?”
“The shrine keeper. When you approach them, the shrine keeper teleports you out.”
“Can we bypass the dungeon and go straight for the exit that way?”
“No, they – they’re always blocked off, you have to – the shrine wants you to do something, and you have to figure it out and – and actually do it, before the path opens – sometimes the problem is the path –”
“Okay, so it is like a dungeon,” says Legend. He’s tense, keeps flicking quick looks at Four and the way he’s standing unprotestingly in Sky’s hold. “How fast d’you think we can get through with multiple people helping?”
“Only one way to find out!” says Sky with false cheer.
Quickly they get themselves organised. There’s no equipment to outfit themselves with, no armour to check; all they can do is split into smaller groups to hopefully cover all corners as fast as possible. Legend makes a point of putting Warriors in the only group of three. Warriors complains, but’s mostly a front. He’s never experienced a dungeon before and is rightly wary, so putting him with two other people who have only makes sense.
Sky they leave to babysit Four, whose empty expression and slow reflexes are not convincing anyone that he’s capable of a dungeon run. Some traps have genuinely murderous timing. He’s also still refusing to let go of his necklace, which cuts him deep enough to bleed every time something makes him startle.
Once they’re gone, and the sandy hallway has gone still, Sky gently rocks on his feet, moving Four with him. “Hey, Four? You with me at all?”
Four gives a displeased grunt.
“Yeah, I know.” Sky’s heart hurts. “C’mon, let’s sit down again. The others will come get us later.”
Four goes with him when he tugs, crouching and then tumbling into a clumsy sit. His knees draw close to his face, seemingly without thought, going back to the defensive huddle with his bloodied hand at the centre. Stormy grey is alert, if sullen. Mostly Four just looks tired.
Sky sits beside him, not wanting to overwhelm him further. “It’s okay. They’re a lot sometimes, but they mean well.”
Four’s response is too muffled to translate.
“Sorry, Four, I didn’t catch that.”
“I’m tired of them asking!” he bursts out. “I’m tired of them asking about – about friends, and family, and do you have someone special waiting for you at home, and – it hurts, and I’m tired of it, and they won’t stop!”
And of course that was the danger in Red fronting when they were this emotional – what came out was what they felt, no deflecting or sugar coating, no way to hide after.
“I’m sorry,” Sky says. “I didn’t realise it was bothering you so much. I can talk to the others about it and make sure everyone stops.”
If they haven’t sworn off it already. Blue, sardonic, even through the grey haze cloaking their mind.
I feel bad, Green murmurs, they were just trying to help.
After such an outburst? Doubtless they feel worse than you do, says Vio.
“They should feel guilty,” Red mutters, and it’s shot through with indigo venom. “Maybe now they’ll shut up.”
Sky tightens the arm across his shoulders. “It’ll be okay.”
He feels helpless. Four isn’t usually – vindictive, like this. Nor prone to outbursts and fits of temper. Being stripped mostly naked would knock anyone off-balance, to say nothing of the desperate way Four is protecting his necklace, but – Sky just doesn’t know what to do. Four’s a lot more functional than he would be, after three panic attacks back-to-back, but how much of that is just a mask? How much is he really struggling to hold it together?
(Would Sky even be able to tell, when Four’s been hiding this for so long?)
He runs a hand through his hair, absent-minded, and catches on the lack of catching at his ears. “Aw, man. It even took my earrings. Wild did say it would give them back after, right?”
“…yeah.”
His sigh of relief is only slightly exaggerated. “That’s good. Those weren’t easy to get, you know.”
Four’s tired blink isn’t the most rousing expression of interest, but Sky launches into the story anyway. He has to let go of Four to make the gestures his hands want to, and – it’s fine. Four doesn’t collapse in on himself at the loss of contact. All he does is turn his head to watch Sky talk, eyes still a little too sharp.
Sky hopes the distraction helps. Involving Four hadn’t worked, but something completely outside of himself, something new to hold onto? Maybe it will help him calm down from the edge of panic he’s been riding since they first stumbled out of the portal.
It’s as he’s describing Scrapper and the Mogmas that Wind’s shout draws them both to look up. “Hey, guys! Legend cracked it!” He waves enthusiastically, like maybe they hadn’t yet noticed him standing in his skivvies at the end of the hall. “There’s a big statue but Wild doesn’t wanna mess with it ‘til everyone’s there! C’mon!”
Four refuses Sky’s hand to get up, though he’s a little shaky on his feet. Sky tries not to hover. He knows how annoying it is, having people looming close just waiting for you to fail, and at the same time, he doesn’t want Four to hurt himself if he stumbles and falls.
Wild was right: this isn’t nearly as long and complex as a dungeon. According to Wind, who chatters on as they make their way up the spiralling collection of ramps, they’d had to do a fair bit of work pulling things apart to make it traversable for anyone who wasn’t Wild. “It took him and Twilight and Legend with his power bracelets to move that block,” he waves at the massive piece of stone they’re walking over to the next bridge-like panel. “And then Wild used his slate for these metal pieces, except he kept dropping them, and his aim is shit, so Wars nearly fell in that pool getting out of the way.”
Sky snorts at the mental image.
When they make it to the top, they find the others loosely gathered around some kind of blocky statue. It looks like a cross between an owl, a fox, and a rabbit. What even needs ears that long?
Wild flashes them a strained grin over his shoulder. “So! Usually I find a ten-thousand-year-old Sheikah monk at the end of these things, but it’s got kinda the same feel to it, so we’re gonna try anyway. Just in case, everyone grab hold of me.”
That isn’t easy. Eight different people have to crowd around Wild’s back and sides to make sure everyone has a hand on him. Sky spots Four’s hand in the crush, still streaked with drying blood, and his stomach rolls.
“Okay, everyone ready? Here goes nothing.” Wild reaches out towards the statue.
For a long moment, nothing happens.
Then the world twists like a Time Gate, several things happening at once. A panel goes red – lights up green – a glimmering box of blue light shatters, flinging threads of glass before they freeze in midair – an angry buzzing noise – chiming fairy bells –
The statue smiles.
WELL DONE.
And as suddenly as it started, it all stops.
Sky fumbles a bit at the added weight, his sailcloth dragging at his shoulders and his earrings suddenly heavy in his ears. Time’s armour makes a crashing noise like it had been dropped from a height; Time grunts.
They’re outside, grass under their feet and a weird teardrop-shaped stone building behind them. Sky doesn’t know where they are – it’s all hills and fields and low-hanging trees – but there’s no monsters in eyeshot so he uses the opportunity to double check all his belongings were returned. Earrings, sailcloth, clothes – check. Bag – check, and it looks like the contents are intact. Master Sword and scabbard, fucking goddessdamned check. He did not appreciate losing her, even for a couple of hours.
Around him the others are doing much the same, adjusting clothes and checking packs. Legend’s running his fingers over his rings like he’s counting them, while Warriors struggles to get his mail to sit right over his bad shoulder.
And Four –
All Sky catches a glimpse of is black and glossy and strangely clean of blood before Four is shoving the pendant down the neck of his tunic, out of sight.
The difference is immense. All the tension drops out of his shoulders, he stops standing hunched in on himself, even his face relaxes from its hard, suspicious lines. There’s still creases around his too-red eyes – he’s still feeling the effects of the panic and stress of the day – but he looks more himself.
He even smiles at Wind’s little dance of happiness at getting his pants back. “Aren’t you the first one to strip every time we find a lake?”
Brightening at the sound of his voice, Wind spins to face him and beams. “Yeah, but that’s different! Lakes are fun! This was just annoying.”
“You shoulda heard him whine when we asked him to scale that rope,” says Legend.
Wind makes an outraged noise. “You try climbing coarse hemp with no pants! I ain’t a fan of splinters in me privates!”
The laughter and bickering is slightly strained. Even as Hyrule creeps up and is finally, finally allowed to heal his torn-up hand and wipe away the blood, everyone’s giving Four his space. Not pushing, not demanding things of him, just letting him exist with them.
Good. Sky will still catch them up individually, make sure everyone knows Four’s had enough of personal questions, but for now at least, everything is okay.
Wild finishes what he was doing – taking photographs of the weird building? – and waves his Slate at everyone. “Definitely my Hyrule! If we head north, we should make it to Castle Town by nightfall.”
“Isn’t your Castle Town still mostly construction site?” Legend says, and Wild shrugs.
“If you wanna spend two days walking to Kakariko, be my guest, but there’s at least a temporary stable and inn at Castle Town.”
“I vote beds,” says Wind immediately.
Sky agrees – from the look of the sun, they’re mid-afternoon, so being just a couple of hours away from safety is very appealing. It only takes a little debate for Legend to give in, since he doesn’t want to sleep on the ground if he doesn’t have to, either. As they set off through the grass, Sky scans the group one last time.
Twilight’s up the front with Wild, Hyrule looking on in fascination as Wild waves at a herd of horses and threatens to catch one. Warriors is close enough to intervene if necessary, while Legend is deliberately ignoring them in favour of studying the landscape – in the opposite direction of Wild’s horses. Wind has dragged Time into a conversation about his armour, with Four – steady and reserved once more – chiming in here and there about plate maintenance.
Sky takes a deep breath, and lets the tension run out of him as he exhales.
For now, everything’s okay.
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Renaissance art
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(Feeling emo looking at unus annus screen shots again….)
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daylighteclipsed · 6 months
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@generatedreflection Hope you don’t mind if I respond to your tags this way, since my og post is already kind of long! So running on the assumption that KH is a video game, or at least fiction/a story, in-universe and the characters are waking up and changing when they’re not “supposed” to…
I guess it depends on when the initial divergence from fate/the narrative/the program happened and how much it affected. Was Riku supposed to be our player character? If so, did Sora and Riku only swap physical places/external roles, or did their writing or programming adjust their personalities to fit their new places in the story/game so as to keep the narrative from diverging too much? Is this the first run through the story, or have there been multiple past loops we’re not privy to and that the characters don’t consciously remember but which still affect their hearts?
I’m thinking of ReCoded specifically, when Data Sora and Data Riku go on this whole adventure that’s similar to KH1 but different enough to shape them into their own people. Even after they’re reset to follow what’s written in the Journal, we know those memories remain in their hearts and in the hearts of their newfound Disney friends from the ‘real’ world, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy. So data KH1 will never truly reflect KH1 as we know it.
If ReCoded is spelling the big picture out for us, do Sora and Riku only start awakening during the one run of KH1 that we play… or have they been waking up because of one or more resets before that we haven’t seen? Is fate, destiny, the narrative, the program trying really hard to make this story play out the way it’s “supposed” to, but the boys keep swerving, developing more awareness and free will with every reset? Or is this the first run where things are different because of something the Master of Masters most likely set in motion? Or maybe what he set in motion has taken all these resets to come to fruition?
It’s a lot to think about. And I don’t have any answers. Certainly it’s interesting to consider all the different ways the story could go/is maybe “supposed” to go… If Sora and Riku’s roles are supposed to be flipped, with Riku as the champion of light and Sora as the one who falls to darkness… then it’s kind of ironic that they seem to be circling back to that now. Like rather than completely changing or swapping destinies, they just took a detour. They took the long way around, but the road still leads to the same place. Fate is fighting to correct course.
But I also think, you know, Sora could’ve always been meant to be the Hero and embody that archetype even if the Keyblade was not “supposed” to be his. I don’t think the one who wields Kingdom Key Light is synonymous necessarily with the Hero of the story or even the main protagonist. It’s also possible for Riku to pass on the Keyblade to Sora without falling to darkness.
Either way, the idea of Riku giving his crown/destiny to Sora, rewriting the story and essentially acting as the narrative for Sora in this sense, usurping fate, is interesting. Especially when you compare this to Data Riku’s role in ReCoded. He’s the vessel for the Journals, for the entire digital universe they create, and he protects it. He protects Sora’s story, the one we see in the games, which plays out how it does because Riku gives Sora the Keyblade.
The one thing I feel for sure — a lot of this, the story changing and characters waking up/coming alive, comes back to Riku. From what we see of him as a little kid, Riku’s always been more “awake,” it seems, than his peers. Always questioning things and possessing a wisdom beyond his years. It’s like he almost knows (or remembers) things he shouldn’t. As Sora puts it, Riku says “some weird stuff sometimes.” And I think Riku is the one who starts waking Sora up. He encourages Sora to think about things that it doesn’t seem Sora would think about on his own. To ask questions. To see their world differently. And to consider worlds beyond their own.
I think he’s why Sora’s first line in the series is about awakening. “I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately. Like — Is any of this for real or not?” And I think Riku’s why Sora’s able to connect with and awaken/bring to life so many characters in the story. That might even be canon, actually, if Riku encouraging Sora to open his heart to Ventus when they’re little kids is what teaches Sora how to... By empowering Sora, Riku is the catalyst for a ripple effect of change that defies destiny and universal law. And it culminates in his KH3 sacrifice which allows Sora to rewrite how the Book of Prophecies ends.
I think that’s what Riku has always represented: Awakening. Truth. The outside world — whether that means adulthood, reality, new perspectives, or lands yet untraveled. He makes the darkness conscious by bringing it to light. Especially for Sora. Riku quite literally wakes Sora up after CoM and in DDD, and his light pulls forgotten/repressed memories up from the depths. Riku’s often associated with the sun — the kind of bright, harsh light that hurts to look at. That makes it hard, if not impossible, to fall back asleep.
Riku’s the sudden light in your eyes that has you groaning and rolling away when someone has to get you out of bed in the morning lol He’s the rude awakening. The truth is often not pleasant or easy. It often hurts. But inevitably, it becomes known. Inevitably, the sun rises and illuminates the dark. Dawn breaks, and the day and all its challenges must be faced. No slacking off. Chop, chop. It’s time to wake up, Sora. Destati!
Even Data Riku in ReCoded is the one who lifts the curtain for Data Sora and ‘reveals the matrix’ so to speak. “It’s time for you to learn the truth.” Riku offers the truth, perhaps quite literally sometimes if that’s what his iconic outstretched hand gesture represents — and it definitely seems to given how KH3’s tutorial/awakening parallels Sora’s dream in the KH1 opening. But it’s up to Sora to accept the truth. To face it. To take Riku’s hand and awaken. It’s Sora’s choice.
Anyway. Whether Riku is “supposed” to be the Hero or was always meant to be the Rival, he’s not supposed to love Sora as much as he does, and certainly not in the romantic way the games suggest he does… I understand your hesitation about gay intent in KH… But it really feels like the “missing”/unspoken piece here that makes so many people scratch their heads over Riku’s character arc. For Sora, it’s less clear (especially in English), but I do think Riku is in love with him. And I truly believe so much of “destiny” changing and characters awakening, Sora awakening, comes back to that.
Destiny in this case would be the typical formula of Disney fairy tales and the expectations of our heteronormative society. And awakening would be developing awareness of these limitations and smashing them… Perhaps reflected through Riku and Sora exposing the flaws in the Light and Dark binary that’s dictated Keyblade society and caused many of the problems their generation has to contend with.
Perhaps the door to the light, to truth, to awakening IS the closet door, then (insert joke here about Riku literally being the gay awakening)… But it’s a lot of other things as well. Awakening is discovering any truth. Every truth. It’s knowledge of the systems that limit and control you, of any unseen force that holds you back. It’s power to see through illusions and lies, distortions and distractions. It’s free will and independent thought. It’s self-actualization and true freedom. After all, you cannot break free of chains you don’t know are there.
That certainly makes the Master of Masters an interesting fellow… It seems like he wants change. He wants the characters to deviate from the script, to awaken, to develop free will… But at the same time, he’s pulling all the strings. He’s the eye always watching them... Does he truly want freedom, or does he want to be the one who decides what freedom looks like?
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aroaessidhe · 7 months
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2023 reads
The Deep Sky
scifi mystery thriller
on a deep space mission traveling from an environmentally devastated earth with hope to restart humanity elsewhere
when they’re halfway, an explosion kills 3 crew and pushes them off course
the only witness is the Alternate who has no specific role, and she has to figure out who caused it & if they might continue to sabotage, while they're figuring out a way to get back on course with limited resources
flips between present and the past: of her childhood and training for the mission, her identity struggles, and relationship with her mother
questions the ethics of ‘restarting’ humanity elsewhere vs putting resources into fixing earth
#the deep sky#yume kitasei#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i really loved this!!!!!#very intense but also a lot of interesting character introspection#love the virtual reality AI aspect!!!! though I do feel like. in the end I was expecting it to go way further with it?#(basically like instead of seeing the inside of the ship all the time they can 'be' in forests or aquariums or whatever)#no romance#(there’s side lesbians; and one flashback scene where she briefly wonders about kissing a random person; that's it)#emotional core about her mother and brother and best friend !!#i like that it gets into the flaws of 'humanity's last hope on another planet' bc like. yeah in real life things....don't work like that...#why is there zero acknowledgement that the concept of every one of them being expected to give birth being extremely fucked up?#like obviously everyone on board is there because they agreed with that but there’s not a single flashback of#when they found out that information; or mention of someone questioning it...#(for example a character mentions that they hid their mental health/use of a therapy animal bc they wouldn't have been let in and the -#eugenics around that is iffy to say the least)#but to me. pregnancy is horrifying and nobody questioning that was weird.#also there’s supposedly 80 people on board but we get to know less than 10 of them which felt a bit strange at points#Also! I love the cover. I can’t find the designer (the book info only credits the internal lllustrator..)#also: bird facts!
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chimerahyperfix · 4 days
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You’re looking for something— no, someone, too, aren’t you?
(I can’t comprehend how you understand what’s going on, with your lifeless shell. Craft as you are.)
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#isat#in stars and time#live a live#isat loop#cube live a live#RAHHHHHH [COMBINES MY FIXATIONS]#behold my crack fic au. tiny robot in dormont#I’m cooking let me cook. cube has the little guy little dude vibes#and is also canonically like. a baby?#their chapter in the game happens the day they were finished#so. a baby.#cube is so <3. their chapter is a space horror#I would 100% recommend at least watching a video of it#IT GOES CRAZYYYYYY#pov flicking a card that says die child die at the floor. so#anyways. this au makes no sense to anyone but me#this is MY funny house and I’m going to play in it#worlds smartest baby [a robot] figures out timeloop shit before the party more at 2#if you ask I WILL ramble abt the concept of this au I will#<- trying desperately to get away from working on my other au post#[I need to draw smth for it and I’m struggling lollll]#sitting here like ughhh I don’t wanna draw this imageee [puts off entire au post]#ANYWAYSSSS#LOOP WOULD HATE THIS KID. the fuck is a robot.#the fuck is this damn thing and how has it read me literally immediately#how dare you be made of craft. be artificial. and be able to read my despair like a book#how dare you; a fake being made by someone else. be more human to me than the people that once were my party#how dare you want to help me when I dont know you because you didn’t EXIST in my loops#…but. uh. thanks for the coffee. even if I can’t drink it I recognize the sentiment. or whatever#falls to the floor dramatically. oughhhh loop and cube ougughhh
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me desperately trying to outrun my writer’s block for the fiftieth time this week
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multifandom-lesbian09 · 5 months
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The day Sadie Sink, Walker Scobell, Brady Noon, Ethan Cutkosky, Emma Kenney, Noel Fisher, Dana Heath, Havan Flores, Luca Luhan, Terrence Little Gardenhigh, or Sophia Lillis get cancelled is the day I just end it all and bury myself alive in my backyard
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