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#how their relationship doesn’t fit into neat boxes and is still undeniable
blue-mood-blue · 4 months
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I can pinpoint the moment that destroyed my life today:
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It’s been a handful of weeks since Murderbot came within inches of having a new, organic governor module implanted in its head via infection - do you think, maybe, that’s also been hiding behind the redacted? Not the way everything else is, just as a deep-seated reminder of what it can’t afford to lose?
What a way to be told “I love you” - to be told “I will not lose you, I will not let go, I will do the hard part of holding on even if you don’t want me to”
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ellipsesarefun · 6 years
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A/N: for @cosmicdusttrails​!!!!!!!! hope you enjoy this piece!!!! :D
It's ten minutes to four in the afternoon and the classroom is already empty when Lance finishes his advice (if you call his stupid goofy face and being in too close to someone else's space the summary of his own guide to charming people). Goofball and all that she adores about him, Pidge should have bought those cheap earplugs during her and Lance’s grocery day the week before.  
"And that concludes my TED Talk. Thank you for listening." Lance says as the four of them saunter through the hallway, giving an overly dramatic bow for effect. Pidge glances up to the two of them and then turns to share her exasperation with Keith. They both shake their heads and sigh before Keith chiming in with a, "You do know that being yourself is important, right? Hunk can say to Shay whatever he wants." Pidge nods along to his words and darts her gaze back at Lance. The said person narrows his cerulean eyes at them.
"And what do you know about romance, hm, Keith?" Lance retorts as he crosses his arms over his chest and careens his head away from them. Pidge barely stops herself from rolling her eyes. She hopes her boyfriend doesn’t instigate any further argument from mullet of a loner, lest they’ll be standing around for the rest of the day.  
"Obviously more than you, seeing as he's in a blooming romantic relationship with a wonderful charming guy." Her lips curve into a smirk when his nonchalant bravado falters with a mocking gasp. They pass through the school gates and they pick up the conversation once more.
"Shiro doesn't count!" Lance says, waving his arms around, "Shiro's Shiro!" The other three all grace him with deadpanned expressions and he ignores them, adding with his ridiculous puppy pout, "And what about me? Back me up Pidge! You’re my girlfriend!" He exclaims. He keeps that utterly stupid puppy pout with added emphasis. Both of them know by now her weakness to it (and she absolutely hates it).
“Boyfriend or no, Lance, you’re a goofball.” She says, laughing, “You can’t even stay put during that one TED Talk seminar a month ago and you couldn't keep your eyes open through the second one!”
"But you love me anyway." He teases, his capricious gaze unrelenting. She doesn't fight the roll in her eyes but the growing smile on her face tells them all that she's smitten.
"Goofball." Not even a comeback but a reply no less. He only laughs.
"But I'm your Goofball." He bumps his elbow against hers and she does the same with unwavering euphoria.
"That doesn't make any sense at all." Keith says and she suddenly she regrets forgetting that he and Hunk are still with them. If she could just drench those beautiful ocean eyes and goofy grin in acid rain, then maybe Lance wouldn't be this distracting.
"And also, it's obvious that Shay likes Hunk too." Pidge remarks, making sure Lance hangs on to her every word, "So even if he were to say something as disgusting as those rare and wild arthropods in some unknown island or talk science then yes. She'll like him anyway." And that is the inevitable, undeniable, and absolute truth. Hunk and Shay are lucky to have each other.
She glances off to the impending sunset, of watercolor-like sky fading from blue to still light scattered blots of red and orange. She immerses herself in the swirl of vorfreude of a certain tall, lanky someone with a wonderful handsome grin and cuddle sessions while playing video games until the dreadful 4am hour. She looks back at the road ahead of them and saves the thought for later.
They finally met an intersecting road and they all bid each other goodbyes. Both Hunk and Keith part ways, Keith at the apartment building at the end of the intersection and Hunk at the far left. Lance and Pidge link arms with laced hands as they cross the pedestrian lane of an empty street.
Two years ago, at the start of their college freshman term, she would have blanched at the mere notion of them sharing the same apartment unit. They were mutual friends of Hunk and Allura. They had not been around the other in their high school years as much as they do right now, not to mention that awkward crush she had on Lance then.
It took a momentum of switching chores here and there; study sessions with a break hour of video games, squabbling over what to buy for their weekly grocery shopping to become more than acquainted to their living arrangements. A confession and three dates later, Pidge realized that nothing much has changed. Sure, they’ve developed new set of habits, such as lounging around in only their shorts and underwear (sometimes it’s either of them and sometimes it’s both), have become familiar with each other’s random likes and dislikes, but there didn’t seem like some exponential difference, as though this has been designed long ago. As sappy it may seem (and she will never admit this out loud any time in five years), she and Lance seem to fit...
"Hey," Lance voice breaks her away from her reverie after a minute of walking , "How about for our anniversary dinner, I make some pasta and beer tonight?"
Pidge grins. "Sure, and I'll pick a series marathon?"
Lance flippantly waves a hand, "Psh, only if it's Voltron!" Their fingers tighten their hold and then the whole conversation shifts back to their own mundanity of homework, lab class gossip, and their friends. By the time they arrive at their apartment, she makes her way to her room while Lance heads to the kitchen to prepare their dinner.
From out her window, she lingers at the gleaming sunset, nostalgia creeping into her train of thought. She kneels beside her bed and slides out from under it a worn out shoe box tied in green ribbon and a lock. It's been quite a long time since she's added another missive. Just how many sunsets she's contemplated while writing one? Too many to count from the emotion it emanates. She had stopped on their first date, as they intended to be as a coven of clandestine confessions before they started out a romantic relationship. Still, it is strange to give them all to him at once and even stranger that she never did.
Pidge pulls out a key from her pillow and unlocks it. She reaches a hand to unwrap but hovers the moment she touches the fabric. It's already old and worn from the creases and not a single dust or cobweb in sight.
Maybe... It wouldn't be so bad to show him this. It's their anniversary after all.
She goes back out with the box in one arm and slowly saunters over to their small round dining table, where two sets of empty plates and utensils arranged parallel to each other along with a platter of rigatoni with sausage and fennel, and a small bowl of cheese sticks at the center. She finds him with two bottles of beer as she places the box on the table. His eyes flick towards the object in an unspoken question.
“Happy 2nd Anniversary, I guess?” She flashes a sheepish smile and a shrug. With the tip of her fingers, she slides it to his side of the table and watches as he takes a seat and unwraps the present slowly and delicately. He pulls the lid off, revealing several colorful stationary envelopes, each in meticulously tied in string and with his name written in neat cursive. He takes one with a trembling hand, shock eminent in his features.
“This is…” He trails off, noting the dates on each envelope “Were these…?”
“They were meant for you, before we got together, actually… At this hour or so, I’d take the time to write you a little something. I don’t do them every day, but it’s… a lot.” She looks down at her fiddling fingers, staring at the lines on her hand, “I never really gave them to you, did I?”
“You’re giving all to me now, that’s important.” He reaches for her hand and she follows with hers, lacing their fingers, “Thank you, Pidge.”
“No problem, Lance.” She says.
This is probably the sappiest she’ll ever get today but she doesn’t care. Seeing him like this is worth it.
[EXTRA]
“Wow… I had no idea you’re this sappy, Pidge. Where’d you get all these lines?”
“My brain, you goofball.”
“And you just had to write a letter in an old receipt? And your old notes? Really?”
“What? I thought it was an aesthetic thing or something?”
“….you were just lazy, weren’t you?”
“Yea… ran out of fancy stationary so I had to make do.”
“yea, but you could’ve chosen something that doesn’t have numbers in it…”
“Like I said, aesthetic.”
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