#is that the cause of all my mental issues? i don't think so I think that's more physical verbal emotional and mental abuse but go off

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

It really hurts me how bad this poor man was treated and still is by Disney and some empathy and compassion lacking, not-thinking peewees.

My biggest rant post in cooperation with Magnificolover from Insta is still cooking. And let me tell you, it's gonna be spicy, blunt and long.

Mags might be the star of the show but this topic goes beyond him.

Furthermore, I keep hearing that more and more children are siding with Magnifico. Children!! My people!

Now, teens and adults hating and shitting on Mags because they cannot see past the rim of their plate of narrow-mindedness is one issue by itself, but you know something is seriously wrong when children tell you "But he isn't a villian at all!" But the the others around him! And yes, like him a bunch more than Asha.

I know that disney intented to create a nice story with another lovable heroine but instead we got a deeply traumatized, altruistic man, who, despite his great pain, built an untopia just for the reason so others would never have to suffer like he did. He constantly gave, cared more for others than himself, only wanted love and some respect in return. But got none of that! He didn't get love, he was constantly kicked and picked at his scars. He's not being taken serious, and only ever seen as a source for favors and a scapegoat. No one was ever there for him. He had no one! Not even a sidekick! No one ever saw and heard him, took him into their arms and let him breathe. This man struggled and drowned and people watched, worse even pushed him down further!

And worse of all, he was pushed to the point of mental breakdown, where he was so terrified and done that he got himself cursed and possessed by an evil force. And then the people who had gotten everything from him and still treated him like shit locked him up to suffer even more for eternity?

This is so so wrong! What the actual frick! My God! The whole movie is a horror show! Magnificolover and I have been fighting for Mags and against this toxic shitshow that disney pulled for over six months now and we won't stop!

If someone really takes the time to carefully read our analyses (which are explained down to the tiniest nitty gritty detail) and still sees Magnifico as a villain ( purely evil person/being) then there is something seriously wrong with them! Why are such people and disney acting like heartless monsters?

We don't want that! You think something like this is fun to watch? Seeing a broken man getting broken even further because people are greedy, ignorant and selfish is not fun! This is horrible! It's sickening to stomach if anything!

This doesn't celebrate everything good that disney has stood for those past 10 decates! It spits at it and in the faces of everyone who truly loved the content this company has given in the past.

You want a real villain? MAKE ONE! For goodness sake! But not, whatever the obnoxious toxcitity shit, that happened with Magnifico.

We hate it! I hate it!

If I could sing one song to Magnifico, it would be this from Lewis Capaldi :

In the moment you feel half complete

Know the moments are temporary

When the fear fuels the fire underneath

I'm gonna love the hell out of you

Take all the pain that you're going through

And I'll bring you heaven if that's what you need

'Cause you've always loved the hell out of me

You don't want him? Fine! I'll take him and not give him back ever again! If someone cannot see this man is a jackpot on two legs that's their problem not mine.

Magnifico is many things but most definitly not : a villain, a bad person and a sextoy.

#rant post #venting post #king magnifico #team magnifico #magnifico defenders #king magnifico isn't a villain

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

okay weird q incoming but what ways do you think speedsters can get sick? Like to my understanding, they can’t really come down with normal virus’ like the flu, right? But they could get things like chronic migraines?

NANOBOTS!!! This is one of the best pieces of canon lore ever. I did a whole post on it but TLDR: normal human metabolisms have so much shit going on that they don't even notice nanobots in their body BUT speedsters have hyper accelerated metabolisms that are the equivalent of the straight A's overachiever in school on meth. So speedster metabolisms do notice nanobots and they attack full force, triggering all of the body's defenses and responses.

But the nanobots are metal so it obviously doesn't do anything. It just leaves the speedster lethargic, feverish, vomiting, dizzy, with a headache, sore muscles and a runny nose, ect. It's basically an allergic reaction.

Now, poisoning them can work depending on what the poison is/what the dosage is. You would need a 100% fatal poison and you would need a fairly high dose. Because speedsters heal fast and they have a hyper accelerated metabolism, so any poison that is based on toxicity (alcohol poisoning for example) would be out of their system faster than it could even take effect.

But poisons that can't be cleared out/processed by the body (take cyanide for example, it binds with the chemical receptors in your body making it physically impossible to use oxygen) wouldn't really be affected by their metabolism at all. So while the speedsters could heal the damaged tissues from these poisons fairly quickly (making it seem as though they were only slightly affected) they would ultimately need time to do so, time they would not have if it kills them first. This isn't technically what you are asking because there would be no substance that 'makes them sick', there would only be 'fine', 'not fine for like a minute and then fine again' and 'dead'. (... unless they were hooked up to a steady supply of the toxin)

Likewise, (this is getting more into theoretical territory, less canon) there might be some illnesses that would affect them? Not for long but if you got something super fucking fatal like Rabies, it might make them display mild cold symptoms for a day or something.

I don't know though. They have really fucking good immune systems. And even super fatal diseases can be fought. Take my example of Rabies, while it is commonly thought to be 100% fatal once symptoms show up there actually have been cases of people surviving it. Rabies is a very stealthy and fast disease, so the main problem with treating it is that your body's immune system isn't fast enough to stop it. People have survived by being placed in medically induced comas (slowing their bodily functions and thus the disease) for long enough that the medication can eradicate it. So for a speedster? That's gone in a minute tops. You would need an insane disease that I'm not sure even exists.

There's also like... pregnancy and menstruation. Growing pains, muscle pain from running is a BIG ONE, being dehydrated/starvation, blood loss, ect. Lots of ways to fuck with a speedster in a way they can't immediately fix.

There are also speedster specific ailments. It's basically 50/50 if a natural born speedster gets a weird highly fatal aging disease. Sometimes speedsters can be born without a kinetic energy shield which makes using their powers at all incredibly fatal to them. All speedsters will have connectivity issues at some point that can be fatal. Sometimes Time Gets Bad™ (shout out to when Barry kept chronically stealing time from people/things every time he used his powers). Sometimes they have too much energy and can't maintain human form (shout out to when Wally didn't know what the speedforce was and was accidentally cosplaying Ghost Rider). Velocity 9 is a highly addictive drug that works on speedsters and makes them display typical addiction behavior (and withdrawal). V9 can also cause a speedster to 'overdose' (burst into flames/lightning/energy). They all have the constant urge to yeet themselves into the speedforce. Ect.

#here's the thing: they are made of speedforce but its not a skin deep thing. you feel me? like their CELLS are made of speedforce #so all shit still affects them #i keep saying that they don't need oxygen or food to survive and thats true but its only if they're actively compensating with speedforce #cause they can get energy from the speedforce or they can get energy from oxygen and food or both. they can't do neither #and they don't really *know* or understand that theyd be fine with JUST speedforce energy. they still think they need oxygen and food #so if they were suffocating or something they might instinctively crank up the speedforce to compensate but they're also very stupid #so they might just die. idk it really depends on who it is how much they know and how much SF they're drawing on #cause like... energy beings need energy yo #i hope this makes sense #the muscle pain one is interesting cause Wallys early runs are really big on the whole hitting the wall thing #he would hit a wall that he physically couldn't break through and it caused him a lot of pain. #some of that was not being hooked up properly cause Wally wasn't hooked up properly until he was an ADULT #because he is FUCKING INSANE and he just went 'huh i guess this is my limit and i will stay below it' liKE AN INSANE PERSON #anyway some of it was SF issues and some of it was mental but he actually got really really hurt anytime he got close to the wall #REALLY bad muscle pain. and like... it was potentially extremely fatal. 'breaking down your body into little bits' fatal #he doesn't get that anymore because hes properly hooked up now but jfc that man treated 'entering the death zone' like it was #the high score to beat at his local arcade. he took it as a fucking challenge. absolutely insane dude right there

[craperonipizza]

You know what? Yes, top surgery WOULD fix all my problems. Fuck you

#it literally would. my mental health is poor BECAUSE OF MY BODY. #if i could fix it then i WOULD BE HAPPIER #i dont want top surgery cause itll fix my mental illness or whatever the fuck my parents think. #i want it cause IT'LL FIX ISSUES THAT MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS MAKING WORSE #does that make sense??? #idk how to communicate this to my parents. #like no i don't think testosterone or top surgery is a magic button to make all my problems go away. #BUT IT KIND OF ALSO IS. IT'D HELP A FUCKING LOT. #craperonipizza post #transgender #ftm trans #im SO FRUSTRATED #vent post #i mean im doing it anyway cause i need to and im a fucking adult. #but the opposition sucks yknow. #i know where theyre coming from. like concern bc yes its surgery and testosterone effects can be permanent...but thats kind of the point. #dont get me wrong my parents are doing amazing. i love them a lot #but its also so frustrating. cause they can't really understand what im going through no matter how much i talk to them. thats just a fact.

[upperranktwo]

It's 6:30 and I haven't slept at all, from what I recall, I've almost been awake for 24 hours. I can't keep doing this (have been like this for years) I need to see a doctor about my unhealthy sleeping at some point lmao (will not see a doctor)

#my new main doc is so sexist i cba with him #debating taking me off anti depressents because he believes i'm just an emotional woman #jokes on him I stopped taking them because they made me sick #he also didnt wanna diagnose me with BDD until my 'husband' verifed it #sure lemme just ask the non existing husband of mine to ask him to tell you i see myself warped #it's on my record i'm single btw meaning he just thinks I should be married #so if I go to him saying i have insomia he'll start claiming it's because i'm a girl #oh when i told him i'm not married he asked if he could speak to my dad #good luck!!!! my dad talks to nobody he's worst than me in social situations #sky rambles ♡ #never forget the time I had an earache and a nurse asked me i was on my period and thats why I was crying #honestly fucking killing myself at this point man can't do shit #i've had bad ear pains since birth 😭 you can't make this shit up #i've had actually blood pouring out from my ears and still been told i'm exaggerating #can't wait to drop dead and i'll still be declared as alive because i'm a silly woman who is over the top #am I emotional??? yes #is that the cause of all my mental issues? i don't think so I think that's more physical verbal emotional and mental abuse but go off #i really REALLY shoukd be medicated but the sickness and weight gain which wouldnt go away was too much

[vamptastic]

getting sick of the antipsych crowd. yeah lemme just dismantle capitalism to make all my problems go away. unmedicated.

#like idk it bugs me that we don't know why these meds work #or that sometimes ppl are put on them instead of addressing a root cause #but like idk. they work. #alsp ppl who think everyone has depression cos we're full of microplastics and gmos or whatever #do u know how much lead children have been ingesting for centuries. we'll be fine. #idk like i'm glad all your mental health problems would dissapear in an imaginary perfect society where stress of any kind is nonexistent #but personally i have had severe mental health issues my entire life and medication is the only thing that's helped so far #p sure the family history and whatevers wrong with my dopamine regulation wld still be there if i lived on a commune and ate organic food. #not saying those things wouldn't help bit #there's always gonna be ppl w depression and schizophrenia and ocd and shit and there always have been #maybe we need a better way of treatment but pretending chronic depression just doesn't exist won't work #i don't believe in restricting ppls freedom but u can't just say nobody should take ssris based on an imagined utopia where #ppl just. dont want to kill themselves

[astarlightmonbebe]

the fact that almost every single close female person in my life has has dealt with (chronic) health conditions that impacted or are impacting their daily lives...

#star stumbles #focusing a bit on women's health for my literary essay #which i kind of ended up thinking about when joyce carol oates asked 'why do women choose pain' #and like the hysterical woman and all that #and this is in my family and outside of it #just found out today that my best friend (or former best friend; childhood best friend) found out recently that her hormones are essentially #messed up and she could be infertile #and she's like 18 #and even the few girls i've met and ended up chatting with in college are like...going through it but casually #my coworker has crazy health problems #my other childhood friend has been having crazy physical and mental health issues #my friends who don't have physical health issues are mentally in the gutter #and then there's me who is not struggling but being impacted by stupid stuff #and like health issues cause health anxiety which worsen health issues or at least the ability to deal with them #but you have to deal with them. everybody is dealing with them. #doctors will be like there's nothing clearly wrong so just fix your lifestyle #which yeah. has been working great (and sometimes it did but also like. #just because you found a solution that works doesn't mean the problem was never valid/never existed or won't come back #which is something i had to remind myself of #like just because you can deal with it now does not mean you did not suffer and struggle due to it earlier in life #and that it did not magically disappear. your health is valid

[highpri3stess]

We can never have a reasonable fandom discourse in this fandom 💀

#i'm so scared to share my fan theories and opinions cause last time i did so i got jumped #take it from someone who's seen someone get hexxed irl; curses can affect someone's mental state #saying because someone's cursed doesn't mean the person has mental issues when they've been acting out of the ordinary is poor judgement #yes this is in respect to mikey #people think mental health and spirituality don't mix and i'm like they might not mix ALL the time but THEY DO INTERSECT #nope not sharing my opinions on Tokyo revengers #some crazy fan would just send me hate #tokyo revengers fandom #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers anime

[haarute]

*slides into your DMs* hey babe so are you a "life has been unfair to and filled with abuse" traumatized or a "consumed by loss regret and guilt" traumatized?

#text post #trauma #i saw something and started thinking about this earlier #because i feel like i often see people from the former group around and they're quite bitter. and justifiably so. #but over here in second group corner i'm like yeah man i have no sense of ego anymore i deserve all of the bad things. #and we like actively self-sabotage ourselves as a weird form of punishment too because how dare me be happy. #and logically i know that's bs. and yet feelings operate as they do. #but i know so many people who are so done with people's bullshit and ready to throw down and stand up for themselves #and i'm like damn i admire that fighting spirit. #and from what i can tell from the people i know it's often fueled by their own experiences with people who treated them wrong #but when nobody has treated you wrong but instead you yourself are the cause of all of the bad things then WELL FUCK ME #which is why posts that are meant to like pump yourself up to go stand up for yourself are so alien to me. #or stuff saying that it's totally fine to just be angry and hold grudges at people and i'm like well i don't relate to this at all #if anything it kinda makes me feel worse about myself in some weird way #since i'm the only person i could perceive as hateable. #the whole ''fuck the world i don't owe anyone anything and i should focus on my own happiness first'' mentality is great and all but #almost a direct opposite to what's going on in my head at all times. #i feel like i could dedicate my entire life to try and make the world a better place and i still couldn't justify my existence. #and i don't mean to anyone in particular. just to myself. #but this is on itself a selfish issue formed entirely on my own emotions. #... which just makes it worse. #so yeah.

[medicinemane]

I'm very tired, I have to do everything around the house myself (as in, I keep having to turn the water off and on to the kitchen sink until I teach myself to install a new faucet, and negative cleaning gets done if I don't do it), and the money is in the hands of the third worst person in the whole family when it comes to money (the worst being my grandpa who is dead, and my grandma who blows all her money on overpriced jackets and other junk)

I'm very tired, I have to teach myself how to do everything, and I have almost literally no support in any way shape or form ever

I can't remember the last time anyone said they were proud of me... I don't actually know if anyone's ever used that word with me before. When I do something like get the trailer cleaned out or buy a house, frankly no one gives a fuck, except my grandma who gets mad

I haven't actually had a chance to see anyone that counts as a friend in like 15 years, and I mean even in high school everyone liked me but no one could be bothered to actually ever even talk outside school... so even back then it's not like I had anyone I was close with

I'm providing this version where I totally remove how I feel or how I view myself from the description and instead try to provide something close to an objective description of things

So if you wonder why I say what I say about myself, honestly I think it's pretty much all summed up here

#mm tag so i can find things later #also this is why you can maybe piss off instead of coming around here and saying I should get off the internet and go to therapy #in spite of how morose I am; I'm actively working to fix this stuff by... at least learning more of the skills I need #like... learn to replace a faucet; then at least I don't have the sink issue weighing me down #and maybe if I fix enough of it someday things'll be ok #although... in my mind no matter what I do I'll still be alone and unlovable; but that's just a description of how I view things #regardless of how I may feel; I am trying to do stuff to fix how I feel by trying to fix my situation #so like... if you're gonna come here and tell me I need to fix my mental health #may I respectfully say either you can lend me a hand or maybe you should mind your own business #cause what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do? #not that anyone will read this or particularly care #not trying to be rude or something; just extrapolating past data to make a prediction #it's not that people here don't care or don't like me; it's just we're all busy with our own lives and no one really knows what to do #well I'm... I'm trying to write you a guide; I'm asking for help here #...to an extent it's totally fine if no one helps... but you kinda don't get to go around acting like you love being asked for help #I mean... you do; it's your life... but I'm just saying... this is me asking for help... yet again #but I expect nothing because that's what usually happens #I really don't mean to... to imply anything about anyone else; it's just descriptively I don't get help and I don't get support #and... based on all the information I have my model for the outcome of this says no one will even notice it #that tag of mine of things I can find later or whatever... it has me outright saying a number of things #...no one ever hears or listens #anyway; there it is... another pointless cry for help #...don't say I didn't warn you when I wind up killing myself one day #probably not anytime soon; maybe not ever... all I'm saying is don't pretend you didn't see it coming or like I didn't reach out #at least... as best I could... maybe I could have done better #like sure; could I walk up to specific people and say 'I need you to do this'; sure... #but I find... I find people just ignore it if I say that too #so I've given up; you know? #this is the best I can muster #don't say I didn't tell you

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #had a new therapist appointment today. she seems nice and I think we'll probably get along. #I complained about growing up queer and christian and she complained about her bible thumping sister so I complained about my little brother #who is the same flavor of dogmatic religious and as long as it doesn't ever turn into her genuinely complaining about stuff to me we're good #I'm always bad at open ended questions like “tell me about yourself” but I can go off for an hour with a prompt like “do you have any kids?” #I woke up my laptop an hour ahead because it's so fuckin old it needs the time to wake up but my pc doesn't have a webcam so laptop it is. #I got a headset that connects with a bluetooth dongle because my pc network card doesn't have onboard bluetooth and it's nice #cause I don't have to worry about audio cords and I can walk around the house while still connected to call. #so many people I vc with have issues with headphones and mics unplugging all the time and I'm like hah I'm better than you. #anyway. we'll see how it goes. she was nice and wasn't sarcastic or passive aggressive so better than the first person I saw here. #and she actually responds to my comments and asks questions instead of just silently listening so better than my last actual therapist. #fourth time's the charm maybe. we'll see. I'm also in a place where I can get even more done myself with just a little external motivation #so even if she's not remarkably insightful I'm in a better place mentally so with a bit of external impetus I can get even more done now. #I picked weekly instead of biweekly because I will forget stuff so fucking fast if I pick biweekly and I can schedule it further away later #if I decide that's what I want/need/can handle. but yeah. new stuff #I still to call their dental department about a checkup cause it's been since 2019 since I got an actual checkup. #I brush and floss and mouthwash because I'm paranoid of having an issue without immediate dental care so I'm prolly fine #but it would be nice to be sure about it instead of just presuming and guessing. #once again thanks for socialized healthcare even if it is pretty garbage in the US it's absolutely better than nothing. #if/when I want gender surgery shit it'll probably be a whole-ass issue but for the entry-level shit it's very manageable. #anyway. I almost forgot about my scheduled appointment because when my brain is nervous about stuff it chooses to forget about it #which has cause problems in the past and certainly will again in the future but I remembered early enough that I didn't try and shower #cause deadass one time I had to hop out of the shower to take a scheduled Dr call cause I forgot about it #if my music hadn't paused I wouldn't have noticed. #no big deal just me talking about important medical treatment stuff buck ass nude full thang swangin #anyway. hopefully good things in the future perhaps. #I have to go shower for real now. byeeeeee

[benadril]

Hate that being happy require like actual work. Like I have to want to be happy in order to be happy. Messed up man

#it wasn't like this when I was a kid?? #i usually just like #GET happy #I'm so tired man I'm just so so tired and exhausted and sad all the time like all the time #why is everyone so mean thooo that's my question is it just me like am i the issue #like I'll think about getting to know someone and im just like they're definitely gonna be like everyone else #cause they always are!!!! they always ALWAYS are #i swear i dont have a mental illness this is probably an episode #but im so so miserable im so so miserable all the time 24/7 i don't expect anything anymore #i don't WANT to talk to anyone i don't want to for once can someone make an effort to talk to me #just. yea can someone make an effort i PROMISE im worth the effort to get to know #i do and think a lot of stuff im not just quiet and walking all the time #i like the sunset and i like cats and i like indie pop music and i like radio pop music and i like pizzas a lot #i like the color brown i like dark chocolate #i don't like rusty metal i don't like cloudy weathers cause its so indecisive #im alot more!!!!! and i don't judge so i mean #why not right #anways #this too shall pass #ben's conscious stream

[lost-prince-x]

Fucking hell I'm about to fight a bitch

#k got a gf and a bf. gf (let's call her Thea) is a witch. cool great thats cool #the problem is: Star has DID. Thea is one of those assholes who thinks DID is just some witchy spiritual thing. and straight up said she #doesn't believe Star has DID and that its spirits instead of her alters. #im sorry i dont want to cause issues but my bpd makes me extremely protective of my people. #Thea is not my person #Star very much is. #i have to very much consciously control my feelings so I don't snap at her rn. but i Want To. #i lowkey feel like an angry barking dog foaming at the mouth #trying to protect my loved one but having to be locked away so i dont cause injury #'english is the universal language in the spirit realm and all Star's alters know english so they arent alters but spirits instead🥺' #bitch stfu i will literally kill you #god bless Star for being able to have a civil conversation with Thea about this #coz after just listening to them talk for like 15 minutes i dont think ill be able to ever trust Thea again. #if someone told me my bpd isnt real but its caused by spirits instead id just straight up have a mental breakdown #i hate it i hate having to be kind and quiet i want to tea her throat out #but I'll just talk to Star abt her thoughts abt all this nonsense instead. #fucking bitchass i can explain all of Thea's claims w biology w no problem whatsoever and i barely know shit abt neurology so like. stfuuu #personal

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Heat Intolerance

This disability pride month I'd like to talk about heat intolerance. Because honestly although it's not the first health issue that presented symptoms in my life. It was the first time I was like "I don't think my body works right".

And honestly given disability pride month is during one of the hottest months in the year. It seems fitting. Especially because there's a lot of disabilities and medications that cause it.

What is heat intolerance?

Simply speaking it's the inability for the body to regulate it's temperatures especially in hot settings to cool itself down.

Why is awareness important?

Because gaslighting people or worse not providing them a place to cool down just because you "feel fine" is extremely fucking dangerous.

What are the medicines that can cause heat intolerance?

Antihistamines (Allergy medications) . Decongestants (Sudafed or any medication that has the D at the end of it). Stimulants (ADHD medications. Steroids. Caffeine.) Beta-blockers (blood pressure medications). Overactive bladder treatment. Psychiatric medications (including but not limited to medications for depression and anxiety). Pain relievers. Antibiotics.

What medical conditions can cause heat intolerance?

EDS (Elhers-Danlos syndrome). Autism. ADHD. Migraines. Brain/spinal-cord injury. Sensory processing disorder. Chronic fatigue syndrome. Endocrin problems. POTS. Menopause. Hypothyroidism. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Multiple sclerosis. Mental health disorders.

What should I do if I suspect I have heat intolerance?

Reduce time outside during hot months. Keep your electrolytes up. Drink plenty of water. Stay out of the sun whenever possible if outside. Be aware of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

Clothes that are best worn for heat intolerance. Loose lightweight breathable fabrics. Natural fibers. Long sleeves that protect from sunburn as sunburns will increase your risk. Light clothes that reflect light. Wide brimmed hats that shade the face and neck.

Cool. So what are those symptoms I'm supposed you be looking for?

Headaches. Excessive fatigue. Mood changes. Muscle cramping or weakness. Nausea/ vomiting. Rapid heartbeat. Excessive sweating or not sweating at all.

When should I do to the doctor?

If you suspect you have heat intolerance you can go to your PCP to discuss what medications you may be on and what you can do about it. Otherwise, please go to the emergency room if you have symptoms of heat stroke.

This is good information and all but why are you making this post?

To raise awareness. Not just for the people that have it but weren't aware of what it was called. But for all of the idiots that tried to gaslight me when I was in school because I was like "I don't think this is normal. Every time we do our mile run outside I vomit all over the place but other kids aren't doing that."

Also because people always blame me for over heating if I wear long sleeves or pants. I always like to take notes from what people in the middle east wear because they literally live in the excessive heat and spend long hours in the excessive heat. Often in clothing that covers most of their body. They've gotta know what they're doing, right?

I have some type of xenophobic comment about why people from the middle east cover up

Shut the fuck up 😊

-fae

#disability pride #disability pride month #disability awareness #heat intolerance

[klara-rosa]

I hate everything in my life right now 🤡

#work SUCKS balls because my colleague is always either sick or on vacation and I can do everything by myself #and I have a new supervisor and he honestly doesn't really know yet how our software works so everything is complicated #I took 2 days off and my work mate got sick again so I'm drowning in work #on top of that I earn very little and everything is so expensive that I can hardly save any money and have nothing to fall back on #also my mental health is...a disaster to say the least and I just got denied from a therapist cause she's all full #and everytime I look for a therapist I almost wanna cry because I only ever want my old one back #she was amazing and I got very attached #and I struggle with change and opening up to others so it's almost like I don't wanna have to do it again #cause I JUST WANNA GO SEE MY OLD THERAPIST #I don't want to talk to anyone else about my issues #I don't wanna have to trust someone else again #I also feel like I may have an undiagnosed adhd diagnosis or like I'm on the autism spectrum or something #either way I feel like a piece of the puzzle is missing #and I have all these weird quirks and habits and thinking patterns that don't make sense to others I feel like #so yeah everything is a mess and I don't even really care anymore I just want peace #personal #mental health #anxiety

[aplpaca]

thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.

But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.

Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.

Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.

For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.

One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.

Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like

Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)

Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)

Fear of becoming or being sick

Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about

Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)

Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)

What if I'm a bad person?

Fear of losing things

Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)

Fear of unreality

Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include

Hand washing

Organizing things until they Feel Right

Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly

Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something

Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them

Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something

Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts

Obsessive prayer

Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away

Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts

Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")

But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.

(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)

Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite

#ocd #actuallyocd #actually ocd #intrusive thoughts #my hand is fuckin stiff from typing this all out on my phone rip

[astrobydalia]

🍂Cozy observations 🎃

Itssss fall you guys!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 It’s actually super hot still where I live but that won’t stop me from living my cozy era. Anyways, I want to avoid collecting posts on my drafts for centuries so here’s more general observations!

work by astrobydalia

🍂Aquarius placements are simultaneously the most understanding and empathetic people ever and the biggest assholes out there. I don't know how they pull that contradiction off but it's true (I mean this in the best way possible btw)

Moreover, I’ve noticed Aquarius placements are way more appreciative of kindness and social harmony than Libra tbh. Libra's desire for harmony can be just for the sake of keeping appearances but they are actually very judgmental. Aquarius on the other hand tend to appreciate authenticity and have a “live and let live” philosophy where they accept people unconditionally that’s why they attract popularity. Underdeveloped Aquarius tho do have a tendency to break social harmony due to pick-me behavior

🍂 Cardinal moons are serial daters. I swear every person I’ve met who had a rather active love life or were always crushing on someone was more often than on Cardinal moon

Also, Cardinal moons are always very dominant people even when don’t intend to be. They have a very summoning aura/personality that just demands engagement. They also tend to be social butterflies, even when they’re introverted they always end up surrounded by people somehow

🍂 I like to think Pisces is the final movie while Virgo is all the behind the scenes and editing

🍂I've seen this endless times where people with Mars in Libra or 7th house always end up either in law or business (mostly creating their own business, freelancers, entrepreneurs, etc)

🍂Any Venusian influence on the MC/10th house/6th house indicates a career or job where you’re required to dress up and appear very put together, having a certain aesthetic can be important in your career

🍂Saturn square or opposite MC/10th house ruler indicates the native was forced into a career they never chose/wanted in the first place or they had to wait a long time to finally have the opportunity to pursue their ideal career OR the path towards the career they chose could have been harder/more unfulfilling than they expected

🍂 I also like to think Taurus stops to smell the flowers and creates a flower bed for herself. Virgo studies the flowers and learns all about photosynthesis and shit. Capricorn creates a flower business and monopolizes the flower market

🍂 Those with Mars influence on their moon (Moon-Mars aspects, Aries/Scorpio moon) are really good at throwing shade but they’re unable to take it themselves. They don’t like to feel called out.

🍂 Mars in the 12th house people will 👏🏼hold 👏🏼 grudges 👏🏼

🍂 To be quite honest with you, every single Virgo sun I’ve met had a very standoffish personality.

🍂 Saturn retrograde individuals raised themselves. That’s why this placement is known to have issues with authority and discipline because their parents didn’t really parent them at all, so they had to set their own boundaries, rules and systems to navigate life. Getting their life together and materializing their ambitions could take extra effort for them

🍂 I usually like Capricorn Moons cause I always find that they are very loyal to everyone (friends, family, partner, etc) but honestly they are not as emotionally mature as you might think. They have a really hard time moving on from the past to the point where they can stay stuck in their wounded child self and spend a big chunk of their lives trying to overcompensate this with work, productivity and success. Tendency to depression, low emotional intelligence and being emotionally stunted. Deep down they feel like the victim of their own story

🍂 Aquarius sun+Scorpio moon: I’ve met quite a few people with this combo and with all of them I’ve noticed they always have a cult leader kinda mentality towards their friendships and connections (might apply to Aquarius+Scorpio combos in general). You’re either with them or against them. If you're not a follower they’ll hit you with the "cool kids table" attitude

🍂 My mom has Mercury in the 4th house and she once said "I don't mind moving abroad but I can't live in a place where people don't speak my native language. I need to hear my native language"

🍂 When it’s said that Venus in the 1st house people know how to make themselves look good it doesn’t mean just physically. The know how to present themselves as a more virtuous person than they actually are...

🍂Mutable risings, Mars in a mutable sign/house: their motto is “work smarter not harder”. Their first instinct will always be to find a way around challenges and difficulties. They usually aren’t the most action oriented people, but they are cunning. Their way to success is basically beating the system to make things easier for themselves.

🍂I can easily recognize Taurus Sun because they always ooze BDE. Also they always tend to have very rugged and bold physique/features

🍂From what I've seen Gemini Venus is a placement that easily makes someone stereotypically extroverted. Golden retriever energy

🍂Has anyone else noticed that succedent houses (aka fixed houses) are all related to money and wealth in some way?

2nd house: your resources, what spend your money on 5th house: gamble 8th house: shared resources, investments and debt 11th house: production of wealth

🍂All Gemini and Cancer risings I’ve met had some sort of hypersensitivity to stimuli. Gemini rising is more mental; anxiety, overthinking, information overload, etc they easily get triggered by immediate stimuli, specially noise around them. For Cancer risings this manifests more in the senses (photosensitivity, very sensitive to smells, flavors, etc) and heightened intuition just like Spiderman with spider-sense

🍂I’m sorry but why are Cancer Mercuries so elusive in their communication??? Everything they say has this "well, maybe. I don't know" or "I guess" undertone to it, they never openly say what they really mean. They are good listeners tho

🍂Underdeveloped Taurus placements feel entitled to use and dispose of people to benefit themselves. Tend to be very selfish and stingy. They do something for you they'll hang it over your head forever and act like they have ownership over you. You do something for them, they owe you nothing.

🍂Pisces Moons grew up in their own little bubble. It's very likely they missed out on 'normal' mundane experiences and this makes them feel very separated from the rest of the world and the rest of the people which is why they often come off as clueless and disconnected. They often give off the impression they've been living under a rock or a parallel universe. A perfect example of this is when Kim Kardashian said she's never been to a grocery store💀

Every single Pisces moon I’ve met never ever wanted to have kids and if they do have them they tend to not be too present in their kids’ lives. The harsh truth is pisces moons are not reliable, generally they are the ones who want to be saved and cared for

🍂I've noticed earth Venus and Venus-Saturn aspects are a little bit too good at showing contempt. To some degree they always remind me of Disgust from the Inside Out movie 😂

🍂 When I see Moon-Saturn conjunction in a chart I flinch a little tbh cause idk what’s worse the fact that their mothers couldn’t be bothered to give the native any sort of emotional comfort or the fact that these natives have normalized conditional love as the only kind of love possible. I've also noticed they grew up with strong authoritarian values and were never allowed to question hierarchies or status

Also, natives with Moon-Saturn conjunction are extremely shady people if you ask me. It's true they are insanely observant but what people don't seem to notice is that they are observant in a Joe Goldberg or Light Yagami kind of way without the murder They do be having inner monologues like that. They come across as calm, intelligent, respectful and trusted. Can use emotional expression (theirs and others') in strategic ways to influence others. Big tendency towards materialistic, utilitarian and/or elitist mindset too. I can't quite put my finger on it but I've met a lot of people with this aspect and the deeper I dig the more I keep feeling something very dark and/or disingenuous about them

🍂Venus square Neptune people and their lack of self-respect… 🙁

🍂Aquarius Moons always give off the impression of having a rather lazy or passive personality. I'm not talking about their productivity but the fact that they seem to always have a "meh" attitude towards everything to the point where they can feel a bit disconnected similar to pisces moon

🍂Virgo risings often have freelance jobs due to Aquarius ruling their 6th house

🍂People with Industria rx (389) may actually dislike their work environment even if they like their job. I’ve noticed they often find the industry they work in to be toxic, depleting or too demanding

🍂Enterprise rx (9777) might always feel unsatisfied with their position, they might be the type to always want more and more

🍂 Aries Moon women and always attracting very immature and selfish men omg I've seen this time and time again

🍂 Scorpio moon/Moon 8th house is an underrated wealth indicator imo. I've noticed they always have a "from rags to riches" kinda life story. They however often face issues with fraud or debt along the way cause they have a tendency to take huge financial risks

🍂 you ever heard about the crabs in a bucket phenomenon? Well Ive actually observed underdeveloped 4th house placements do tend to have this kind of clingy and envious behavior particularly towards people that are really close to them. You can also experience this with people you have 4th house Synastry with; you get too attached to the comfort zone they provide to the point where they stifle your growth

🍂Pisces placements 🤝 falling for people who are bluntly abusive, controlling and narcissistic. They want to believe they’re living a beauty and the beast love story when in reality they’re trauma bonding

🍂Libra/Taurus Mars people ARE problematic and petty as fuck, they’re just good at the social game and making it look like they didn't do anything. Underdeveloped Venus energy is the opposite of peaceful, it gives major mean girl vibes and Mars being debilitated in these signs easily brings out this hostile side of Venus. The type to passively instigate drama just to make themselves look better. Very hypocritical

🍂What natives with Saturn in Taurus will consider first when choosing a career is make sure that it is well payed and gives them financial status. Other factors come second

🍂Fixed+cardinal combo in the luminaries is hands down the best sun-moon combo I've seen tbh (specially fixed sun+cardinal moon), they're a force to be reckoned with. Very charismatic, outspoken and confident people with healthy ego if developed. Most people I've met with this combo were very extroverted and/or excellent leaders

🍂Sagittarius placements 🤝 this pose 😜✌🏼

🍂Libra/7th house Lilith have a tendency to judge a book by its cover all the time

🍂I've noticed Pisces MC/10th house natives aren't very ambitious. They seem to not really care about things like self-development or being on top. From what I've seen they mostly aspire to have a pleasant and glamurous life that frees them form real life mundane worries and could desire to retire as early as possible. In some cases I've seen they could want a "princess" kinda lifestyle where they literally have no responsibilities. They want a career that liberates them from any pressure of achieving material expectations and allows them to just go brain dead all the time following a higher power/inspiration/knowledge. That's why many artists have this placements and I've also seen cases of Pisces MC people who wanted to be nuns and nurses. I've noticed that when they genuinely don't care about recieving recognition or achievements but rather do things bc it aligns with their soul that's when they become successful

🍂Scorpio placements have a tendency to be very cynical I've noticed, specially mercury and mars

🍂Gemini/3rd house Lilith can spot lies from miles away and will not be sacred to call it out

🍂As per my observation the water sign that gets idolized the most is not Pisces but Cancer 100%. Yes Pisces does get idolized but I’ve noticed that’s actually very short-lived, people tend to switch up on them SO fast cause they project a deeply unrealistic image on them and eventually fall off the pedestal. Cancer placements on the other hand are not infantized like Pisces, they are consistently very sought after people I’ve observed. They always come across as emotionally reliable even when they’re not, people always go soft for them while simultaneously respecting them so they’re always seen as perfect,kind,charming,etc. Their personality naturally portrays an energy of unconditional love and understanding so people easily get obsessed and addicted to them

🍂I always find that Pisces Venus natives have a very whimsical and juvenile personality. They also have a very extravagant taste they may like anything with bright colors, glittery shiny stuff, squishy toys, etc. they have a tendency to be a bit tacky and corny I’ve noticed

🍂Every fixed moon I've seen avoided any sort of emotional rehabilitation like the plague unless it’s strictly necessary. They believe no one can begin to understand them better than themselves and they got it all figured out already. Now this is more my opinion but I feel like they low-key underestimate the amount of healing they actually need to do cause they really struggle taking emotional accountability. They have a tendency to act like their needs and feelings justify everything so there's not much to "fix" or heal

🍂People who have at least 2 out of their big 3 in cardinal signs are often seen as the golden girl/boy

🍂Capricorn/Virgo moons will be literally the best at what they do and make it seem so effortless. If you ask them how they got so successful they'll be like "idk I guess I just practiced a lot"

🍂I’ve noticed your 8th house sign(s) represent themes that people are consistently using against you as the fastest way to tear you down, so you always end up feeling powerless here at some point. That’s why you tend to resent this energy and have toxic dynamics with people who have their planets here. This house is literally the death of you (8th from 1st), but it can also be the source of your empowerment once you claim this energy so it's best that you keep this house to yourself as much as possible. Some examples:

Gemini 8th house: using what you say against you. you could have a hard time with people believing your words, what you say is always scandalous and/or rubs people the wrong way. Gossip or information that makes you look bad. People always think you’re lying or deceiving or have ulterior motives Cancer 8th house: you could struggle with getting sympathy and emotional support from people. Others think you’re just being vulnerable and complaining for clout. Any display of emotion or care will be seen as manipulative. People trying to break or ruin your relationship with your family or closed ones Capricorn 8th house: you struggle with people respecting you, others don't take you seriously and don't see you as a valid authority. Any attempt to make yourself respected will be seen as dictatorial or elitist behavior, any desire to succeed will be seen as you being power hungry. People try to dismiss or belittle your achievements

work by astrobydalia

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #astrobydalia